#they should also add my cat loki- *gets shot*

[cassioppenny]

i think the problem with pokemas to me is that there isn't actually that many interactions between cross generation characters. like it's a huge crossover game but red and silver haven't interacted ONCE???? you barely see characters becoming friends with characters outside of their game not counting the ocs. they haven't even the obvious interactions like irida meet bw era ingo. like. that's such an easy cool interaction and im fucking sick and tired of pla submas shit.

why bother with a crossover if the characters just usualy stick around with the other characters from their game

[fanficshiddles]

The Redbridge Hunts, Chapter 46

Claire was quite concerned with how worried and on edge Loki seemed to be. It made her on edge, too.

When they got home, Matt and David came round about an hour later.

‘You really think Chris will try something?’ Matt asked Loki as the three vampires sat at the table in the kitchen with a beer, while Claire cooked dinner with a glass of wine.

Bat was on the table too, like she was listening intently to the conversation, though she did keep an eye on Claire too incase there was any food on offer.

Loki had said they’d just order takeaway, but Claire offered to cook. She was planning to make stew, knowing how much Loki loves it. Though the thought of having to fight with three vampires for the toilet wouldn’t be ideal, as she knew Loki would have a tantrum if she didn’t add garlic. So she just opted for something else entirely and was cooking up lasagne.

‘Definitely. I’ve never seen him so angry before, if dad hadn’t been there, he would’ve killed me. Without a doubt.’ Loki said with certainty.

Matt and David’s eyebrows shot upwards. ‘Do you really think having us two as backup will help if he does come knocking?’ David asked as he took a big swig of his beer.

‘One of you can try and keep him from killing me while the other goes to get my dad.’ Loki said as he also took a big mouthful of beer.

‘I’ll get your dad!’ Both Matt and David said at the same time.

Claire wanted to laugh, but the situation was quite worrying she couldn’t really see the humour in it. Her stomach was in knots, even though she knew having Matt and David here was a bit of extra security.

When dinner was ready, they all sat around the table to eat. They were a bit calmer and able to enjoy their food as they chatted away about other things. Bat had her own little plate of some mince that Claire had left to the side for her without any onions or sauce in it.

‘You spoil that cat.’ Matt laughed as he reached over to stroke said cat.

‘At least now I can blame it all on Claire.’ Loki teased with a smirk.

‘Pssssht. She was already spoiled rotten before I even knew you, don’t deny it!’ Claire argued back as she pointed her fork at him, making him chuckle.

‘Exactly. Remember that time it was Severus’ birthday, we all got him a cake and you snuck a piece home, just for Bat?’ David reminded him.

Loki looked a little sheepish as he shrugged. ‘Well… Bat should get to enjoy the celebrations that we do, too.’

‘That’s why she was so desperate to get at my birthday cake, she has a sweet tooth.’ Claire laughed.

‘She does.’ Loki sighed. ‘She’s rather partial to a little bit of baileys too on an evening.’

Claire giggled, while David and Matt shook their heads in disbelief. Bat let out a small chirp from the side of the table.

After dinner, Loki did the dishes while the others went through to the living room to relax for a while before going to bed.

‘Has Loki ever been this worried about Chris trying to hurt him before?’ Claire asked quietly, though she wouldn’t be surprised if Loki could still hear her from the kitchen.

‘No, not that I can think of.’ David shook his head.

‘Chris loves his job, he does it take it seriously. He does care for the students and his teachers, this will be a big blow to him for sure.’ Matt said.

‘I don’t get why they want to change things up. I mean, Loki would be a great head teacher if he does decide to take it.’ Claire said softly.

‘He really would.’ Matt agreed.

‘Do you think he will take the job, if Chris can’t get them to change their minds?’ David asked Claire.

‘I’m not sure, he hasn’t really said much about it. I think he’s too worried about what Chris might do right now.’ Claire sighed.

‘Well, we will do our best to help if trouble does come knocking.’ David said firmly.

-

For the following few days, there was no sign of Chris. It was like he’d gone off the radar completely. Loki had relaxed a little bit, though was still on edge. Matt and David had said they’d be happy to stay more nights, but Loki didn’t want to burden them anymore. They said they’d be on the end of the phone, if anything did happen to call them and just hang up after one ring, they’d be straight there.

‘I don’t know whether to be more worried or not that Chris has just gone completely AWOL.’ Loki said to Claire on Thursday morning while they prepped for the day ahead.

‘It is strange. Though maybe for the best, maybe he’s clearing his head and will come back calmer. Hopefully…’

‘I certainly hope so.’ Loki said as Claire walked over to him and wrapped her arms around him, he smiled and kissed her forehead. ‘Thank you for putting up with me this week. I know I’ve been antsy and probably not easy to be around.’

‘So… what’s been the change?’ Claire teased.

Loki growled at her and tickled her sides, making her giggle.

‘You’ve been fine, love. I know it’s worrying, you don’t need to apologise.’ Claire assured him and pressed her head in against his chest.

Loki ran his fingers through her hair, she always soothed him. He would be lost without her, that was for sure.

‘Hopefully he comes back before Saturday night’s party, I don’t know if I’ll be able to fully enjoy the Halloween night if I’m constantly worrying and looking around for him.’ Loki sighed.

‘I doubt he’d try anything at the party, besides if he does, there’s plenty of vampires around to protect you. It will probably be safer than being at home!’ Claire said as she looked up at him, resting her chin on his chest.

Loki smiled and nodded. ‘That’s very true.’ He hummed.

‘It’ll be fine.’ Claire said confidently as she reluctantly pulled away from him to place some textbooks on everyone’s table. ‘He’s bound to have calmed down by now, it’s been a few days. I think if he was going to do something dangerous, he would’ve done it already.’

Loki smiled across the room at her and nodded. ‘You’re right, darling.’

-

In a small underground nightclub, in a city across the country, around forty or so bodies lay strewn in various predicaments around the place.

The flashing lights still lit up the room sporadically in a multitude of colours. Music continued to blare out from the DJ system, even though the DJ lay lifeless across the mixing table, blood dripping from his neck with a huge chunk of flesh torn out.

The security guard’s bodies could be found just inside the doorway, in a puddle of their own blood. The few bartenders that had been working that night lay dead behind the bar, smashed glasses beside them.

One man who was left, the last one alive, scrambled backwards to get away from the monster that had arrived just mere minutes ago, causing the carnage inside, he’d watched his girlfriend get torn to pieces right on front of him. Trying to save her had been pointless, he was simply tossed across the room.

Now, the monster was after him. He’d fallen over and was backed to the wall on the ground, crying and pleading for his life. He’d been happily drunk just five minutes previously, but seeing the massacre had rapidly sobered him up.

The vampire was covered in blood, his clothes were soaked in it. His mouth dripped with so much blood as his fangs remained visible. His eyes were a terrifying deep dark red.

‘No amount of pleading will save you.’ The vampire snarled, then without more fooling around he launched for him.

He went straight for the neck of course, the sound of the man screaming in agony was like music to the vampire’s ears as he sucked the blood out of him.

From the adrenaline of fear, the man’s heart was working overtime and sent so much blood through his veins that just got sucked right out. The man turned pale white and passed out, before dying shortly after. The vampire could hear the man’s heartbeat slow, then it came to a complete stop.

Once he’d had his fill, the vampire dropped the body to his feet and he stood up straight. He looked around the room, at the sea of bodies, while he breathed in deeply. There wasn’t one survivor, no heartbeat could be heard.

He let out an angry snarl as he punched the wall, putting a large hole right through. It just wasn’t enough. It didn’t help ease his anger and pain one bit.

‘No… I know exactly what I need to do back in Redbridge.’ Chris snarled.

[aion-rsa]

Marvel’s Loki Episode 5: MCU Easter Eggs and References

https://ift.tt/eA8V8J

This article contains Loki episode 5 spoilers.

Marvel’s Loki episode 5 is a big one. Yes, we know…last week felt like that. And the one before it, too. But this one really IS, with the entire episode taking place (as DoG’s Kayti Burt put it) on top of a literal “trash pile of MCU and Marvel Comics Easter eggs.”

With that in mind, let’s have some fun with all the incredible Marvel references they managed to sneak into Loki episode 5.

Journey Into Mystery

You probably already know this, but Journey Into Mystery was the book that first introduced the Marvel Comics version of Thor, with Loki following shortly after. The title eventually was just renamed Thor since the Asgardians had become the primary focus of the book for years by that point. However, Journey Into Mystery was revived a few years back, with its primary focus being on the adventures of Kid Loki this time around.

Thanos Copter

The Lokis pass a helicopter with “THANOS” on the side. This is a reference to Spidey Super Stories #39 from 1979. The all-ages comic featured a story of Spider-Man and the Cat (Hellcat) taking on Thanos, who was on the hunt for the Cosmic Cube. He flew around New York City in his own helicopter with his name on the side. The reference comes up as a joke here and there, including an issue of Deadpool. Even Thanos’ giant two-sided blade weapon from Avengers: Endgame has been considered by many to be a sly reference to the Thanos Copter.

Ecto-Cooler

While the Lokis are all drinking wine, Kid Loki is shown drinking Hi-C Ecto Cooler. The Slimer-based citrus drink was a tie-in to The Real Ghostbusters cartoon of the 1980s and lasted into 2001 due to its popularity. Afterwards, it became a fondly-remembered relic to time. Ecto Cooler made a brief return in 2016 to coincide with the Ghostbusters reboot. Sadly, there’s no news of it coming back for the upcoming Ghostbusters: Afterlife movie.

Speaking of Kid Loki…

Kid Loki

Kid Loki seems to be wielding a flaming sword, which looks an awful lot like Laevateinn, the sword he wielded in the Loki: Agent of Asgard comics.

Polybius

In the background of the Lokis’ lair, we see a Polybius arcade machine. Polybius is a long-running urban legend. Supposedly, back in 1981, an arcade machine was set up in Portland, Oregon, watched over by various men in black. The game was so addicting that it caused fights to break out and horrible side-effects to its players. We wrote more about the decades-old mystery of Polybius right here.

Pretty sure there’s an old Williams Space Pinball machine in there, too but that’s not as wild as Polybius.

The Void

Fittingly, the realm where all the pruned victims end up is called the Void. In the comics, the Void is a dark, inexplicable, and possibly biblical entity that acts as the evil side to the Sentry. During the storyline Siege, the Void murdered Loki, which facilitated his rebirth as Kid Loki.

Alioth

Alioth first appeared in Avengers: The Terminatrix Objective #1, the same 1993 comic that also introduced Ravonna Renslayer to the world…and one that features Kang as its central villain. Hmmmm…

Oh, and Alioth was co-created by Mobius M. Mobius inspiration/model Mark Gruenwald, who gets another shout later in the episode.

Vote Loki

The “politician Loki” who we see leading (inasumuch as they can/want to be led) the loose coalition of Variant Lokis is modeled almost exactly on the version of Loki from Marvel’s Vote Loki story by Christopher Hastings, Langdon Foss, and Paul McCaffery. In it, Loki ends up running for President, with his ridiculous campaign built on the “honest” deception of openly lying to the American people inadvertently aided by a credulous news media. It’s a good read and you should check it out.

This episode also engages in the old MCU/Star Wars tradition of someone getting a hand cut off…in this case it’s our pal, “Vote Loki.”

Frog Thor

A frog resembling Thor is shown in a jar labeled “T365.�� Wouldn’t you know it, Thor #365 is the issue where Loki transforms Thor into a frog. Yes, it was a whole thing. Walt Simonson’s run on the Thor comics is really spectacular.

“Frog Thor” also got a mention in Thor: Ragnarok, during the “play within the movie” seen as “Loki” apologized to “Thor” for turning him into a frog.

You know, there’s even an independent wrestler with a Thor Frog gimmick. Life is beautiful sometimes.

Classic Loki

So it appears that Classic Loki is basically what would have happened if “our” Loki survived the opening of Avengers: Infinity War, which he did by allowing Thanos to kill a duplicate while he disguised himself as some debris. Classic Loki went into hiding and developed a taste for brighter greens and yellows, and aged into Richard E. Grant, before he was pruned by the TVA and found himself here in the Void.

Classic Loki’s line about “the god of outcasts” comes from 2019’s Loki #5, by Daniel Kibblesmith and Andy McDonald:

“I am Loki. God of outcasts. They see themselves in me. And I in them. All of us, alone together. It’s why my stories always end with someone trying to put me in a box. And begin with my spectacular escape.”

Later in the episode, Classic Loki and Kid Loki literally “exit stage right,” in what feels like a very deliberately “stagey” moment that plays on the Shakespearean overtones of all of this.

The Living Tribunal

On the ground in the Void there’s a large severed head…and it’s that of The Living Tribunal, a cosmic entity created by Stan Lee and Marie Severin back in 1967. The presence of a Living Tribunal (even one who is dead at this present time), whose entire purpose for being is predicated on the existence of a multiverse, means that the TVA is trying very hard to cut all ties and any evidence of the fact that the multiverse is already out there.

U.S.S. Eldridge

The USS Eldridge was a real Cannon-class destroyer in the U.S. Navy in use from 1943 to 1992. It was supposedly sold for scrap after it was decommissioned but Loki posits that perhaps it was an unwanted Variant in the Sacred Timeline. Perhaps this is because the ship was rumored to be subjected to the “Philadelphia Experiment” that was supposed to render it invisible to the human eye. The story is sadly probably a hoax.

There’s a not exactly great 1984 movie called The Philadelphia Experiment which adds time travel to the equation, making this little callback even more Loki appropriate.

Is That Stan Lee?

At about 9:38 there’s a mural in the TVA headquarters. On the right there’s a guy in prescription shades, with a familiar moustache and salt-and-pepper hair. We’re not saying that’s Stan Lee, but…

The Castle

Yes, we know, that ominous castle sure looks like Doctor Doom’s  home of Doomstadt, but…it’s probably not (or is it?). More likely, this is Castle Limbo, home of Kang the Conqueror (or…is it?).

We unpacked these possibilities some more here.

The Music

The “heroic Loki” theme at the end sounds like it’s about to break into Wagner’s “Ride of the Valkyries.”

Speaking of, the regular Loki theme is very similar to the part of the Delfonics “Ready or Not Here I Come (Can’t Hide From Love)” that was sampled for Missy Elliott’s “Sock It To Me.” The original (also sampled for the Fugees’ “Ready or Not” and Dr. Dre’s “Still D.R.E.”) was about the inevitability of love, and Missy’s song was about sneaking into somebody’s house to get your back blown out, so basically the same thing. Could have some bearing on Loki and Sylvie’s story.

The music that plays during the “Loki brawl” is this show’s equivalent of Scooby-Doo chase music. That’s a good thing, by the way.

Pixar, is that you?

Was that the Pizza Planet truck? Mobius’s ride, a station wagon with a slice of pizza on top, immediately brought to mind the popular Pixar easter egg/elaborate timeline mcguffin that has appeared in every Pixar movie to date. Also, very nice touch having Lightning McQueen himself drive it.

An even nicer touch is the license plate on the car Mobius is driving: GRN W1D. As in “Gruenwald.” As in (say it with us, kids!) Mark Gruenwald, the Marvel writer and editor who Mobius is based on.

Ant-Man

At one point on the ground in the Void we can spot a gigantic Yellowjacket helmet. Yellowjacket is the codename for several size-shifting superheroes in the Marvel Comics, but is best known to MCU fans as Corey Stoll’s Darren Cross from the first Ant-Man flick. 

Guardians of the Galaxy

There’s lots of crashed spacecraft, one of which kind of looks like the Dark Aster (Ronan the Accuser’s ship in Guardians of the Galaxy), and there may be a Helicarrier hanging around. There’s also a flying saucer that vaguely resembles the ship from John Carpenter’s The Thing, and a pirate ship that if Doctor Doom were actually the villain of this show (he isn’t…or…is he?) would make us think of that character’s very first appearance in Fantastic Four comics, where he sent Ben Grimm back in time to become Blackbeard. No, really.

Miscellaneous Time Variants

The fate of the Lokis is reminiscent of What If? #12, otherwise known as What If the X-Men Had Stayed in Asgard? At the end of the story, after tasting defeat yet again, Loki begged Those Who Sit Above in Shadow to allow him to rule Asgard. They agreed by sending him far into the future at the end of time. As reality started to break down, Loki went out laughing in the face of oblivion.

The bus ad at the beginning is for Calum Ross, who is an editor on the show. 

The shot of all the Lokis walking as the camera swoops overhead is very much reminiscent of Peter Jackson’s Lord of the Rings movies.

Loki and Sylvie are cold in The Void. But wait a minute, aren’t they both Frost Giants? Why then would Loki conjure a green blanket? Unless he wants a convenient excuse to cuddle up with his Variant…

Loki is drinking “RoxxiWine” pinot noir…out of a box…which is a nice touch.

Is that weird, very large plant in the bowling alley hideout supposed to be a Variant Yggdrasil? Or wait…what if that’s Plant Loki?!? He’s green, isn’t he?

Next to Alligator Loki’s kiddie pool there’s a copy of The Mystery and Lore of Monsters, a 1930 book by Charles J.S. Thompson.

The tower we all keep thinking is Avengers Tower is in fact Qeng Tower, the headquarters of Qeng Enterprises, the company that Tony Stark (mistakenly) sold the old Avengers tower to in the comics.

cnx.cmd.push(function() { cnx({ playerId: "106e33c0-3911-473c-b599-b1426db57530", }).render("0270c398a82f44f49c23c16122516796"); });

Spot anything we missed? (Probably, right?) Let us know in the comments!

The post Marvel’s Loki Episode 5: MCU Easter Eggs and References appeared first on Den of Geek.

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[hyungbean]

I’m Not Ready | Endgame

“Whatever It Takes”

One-Shot: Angst

Synopsis: Vormir always seemed like a nice place to die.

Pairing: Avengers X Younger!Reader

(Made little tweaks to the original plot of the movie)

flashback:

Helicarrier , 2012

Your POV:

“Look! It’s the star spangled man with a plan.”

Steve turned around rolling his eyes playfully. We had just captured Loki and after many failed attempts, beside from Natasha, to get information out of him, we let him be for a little. I had this terrible feeling that something wasn’t right. The god of mischief himself, giving himself up so easily, and well— not being mischievous? I can’t do math and I know that none of this adds up. But according to Bruce his mind is a bag of cats and you could practically, “smell crazy on him” so we just left the subject alone.

“Y/N.” The captain smiled at me. We were now currently walking down some hallways probably making our way to the lab to see Bruce and Tony. Steve and I had met only hours ago, but I felt a sense of trust towards him.

“Are you nervous?” The captain stopped in his tracks when hearing my sudden question and turned to me.

“For what?”

“The fight. Loki still has an army behind him, it’s inevitable really.”

“I’m not quite sure actually, you?” I smile but it falters a little. “Yeah... yeah actually. I know that I’m a lot younger than you guys and have a lot less experience. I just— I- I’m afraid of dying. Just like the thought of game over, boom, it’s done— terrifies the living crap out of me Cap. I don’t like not knowing what happens after this life. Not being in control and never waking up. It’s horrifying.” I look up at Steve with tears collecting in my waterline. After a moment Steve sighs in understanding before enveloping me in a tight hug, much to my shock.

I didn’t know it at the time, but after my little outburst, Steve swore to himself to always look over me.

flashback:

Battle Of Sokovia, 2015

Your POV:

“Agent L/N is down, I’m taking her to the quinjet. Does anyone copy?”

I faintly hear Clint yell into his earpiece. The battle was over for the most part and the people had evacuated to safety jets. Clint had ran back to a fallen market after seeing a child still scrambling out of the rubble, his mother screaming hysterically on the jet. Pietro and I had seen it before the Hawkeye, bullets pelting the ground harshly. Before Pietro could act I teleported in front of the two and put up a force field to shield us. Unluckily for me, two stray bullets managed to lodge themselves right in my shoulder and abdomen.

As of now, a frantic Clint and Pietro were scrambling towards the quinjet while I was most likely bleeding out.

“You didn’t see that coming huh old man?” I stole Pietro’s classic line but all I earned were two bewildered looks from the men. I scoffed, “jeez tough crowd”.

The adrenaline prevented me from feeling the immense pain I should probably be in. Which I hadn’t realized until after because I was probably a little delirious at the time. Once we made it to safety, Clint laid me on a bench and I let out a loud yelp as the sudden pain shot through every vein in my body. Burning like hot coals, the stinging traveled straight to the bleeding wounds.

“Holy shit! Oh my god.” I nearly screamed as Pietro clumsily ran to look for medical assistance. Clint stayed by my side, gripping my hand, “hey kid you’re going to be okay. Just don’t close your eyes.”

At this point, I was bawling my eyes out and letting whimpers past my lips.

“Oh my god. I’m dying. Clint. Please, I don’t want to go. I’m not ready yet. I’m not ready.” I frantically spit out, squeezing his hand hard, vision blurry with tears.

The pain became overwhelming and I let out one more strangled cry before letting the darkness consume me.

Present:

Vormir, 2018

Third person

Natasha, Clint and Y/N made their way up to where the soul stone was supposedly at. Vormir was a beautiful planet, although under such circumstances, it made the venture all the less exciting. Y/N had been on Titan with Tony, Strange, Peter and the galaxy gang when Thanos decided to throw a moon at the beloved man of iron. She had also witnessed Strange giving up the time stone to Thanos.

After the decimation she remained with Tony and Nebula for who knows how long, before being rescued by the flying space woman— or in other words, Captain Marvel.

Now the remaining avengers split up in teams to go through with their time heist, to undo the decimation that ruined their lives five years ago. Being in space with Nebula for so long, Y/N learned of the price that had to be paid in order to retrieve the soul stone.

One of them would not be coming out of this alive.

Y/N blanked out after meeting the floating red skull guy, the supposed keeper of the soul stone. It has been some time and Natasha and Clint paced around, in denial about the price of the stone.

Y/N was standing to the side, quietly talking to herself, looking down at her transporter and a watch. She turned around to Clint and Nat sharing a moment, foreheads together and hands clasped in each other’s. And then suddenly it happened, the pair breaks out in a fight, momentarily forgetting the young girl watching with cautious eyes a few feet away.

Y/N furrowed her brows, understanding what they were doing. They were fighting over who would get to die.

It happened so fast. One constantly stopping the other before they could reach the edge. Suddenly as Clint launched himself over the cliff, Nat followed after, a cry ripped itself from Y/N’s throat. Y/N teleported to the edge, looking down to see the crying pair, dangling from the cliff. This was it.

“Don’t worry, I’m ready now.”

The pair looked up confused, eyes widening as realization dawns on them.”

“Y/N NO-“

Suddenly, Y/N launches herself off the cliff, locking eyes with Nat and then Clint. Air swishing through her hair. Limbs tense as she plummets to certain doom.

‘It’s okay.’

Avengers Facility, 2023

“Where’s Y/N?” A tearful Black Widow and Hawkeye stood before the team, shaking from the near death experience and losing their best friend. Before either could answer they were interrupted.

‘Hey. It’s Y/N-“ Y/N’s voice suddenly rang out from the computer behind the team.

“We’re currently on Vormir. Hopefully this worked and I’m not just talking to my wrist...I know the price that we have to pay to get the soul stone, Nebula wasn’t exactly discreet about it. And for the first time I feel empowered to do what I’m going to do. Like this was my destiny, the whole reason why I wasn’t decimated all those years ago. I realized after the decimation that I can’t be forever afraid of something so much bigger than me—death. And I realized that I’m much more terrified of having one of you guys die, than me. I know we don’t trade lives Cap. But what choice do we have? But trust me, It’s going to be okay, we’re going to be okay, because we’re the god damn avengers... So now what, are you all going to stand around or are we gonna end this thing? “

[brightsun-and-darkmidnight]

The Match Maker

TITLE: The Match Maker

CHAPTER NO./ONE SHOT: Chapter 1

AUTHOR: brightsun-and-darkmidnight

ORIGINAL IMAGINE: 

Imagine not being able to have children for some reason. Perhaps Reader has dogs/cats/animals as their child(ren). Now, imagine readers most mischievous animal child getting Loki to meet reader.

(I need this. If the animal’s name is Loki, AND if written in the pet’s point of view)

+

Imagine being woken by an odd thumping noise, as of a falling body, coming from your living room in the middle of the night. When you go to investigate, you find a very perplexed Loki flat on his back on the floor, with your cat loafing on his chest, purring like a buzzsaw and giving you an incredibly proud look, as if to say, “Hi, human! Look what I caught for you!”

NOTES/WARNINGS: Manipulation. Manipulative relationship. A splash of angst. And a sprinkle of NSFW. 

AUTHOR'S NOTES: thanks to @cateyes315 for the help.

Summary: Gabriella has a family guardian that is determined to find her soulmate. Having a perfect match maker is not always desired because every deal has a catch.

My Ao3: brightsun_and_darkmidnight

*FINALLY..Read the warnings. Once you agree you can handle it...

 ~ ~ ENJOY  ~ ~

I woke for no reason other than for bathroom needs. Muttering, "I had to choose to be an animal guardian…."

Nature called and I had to use the cursed animal door to get outside, like a normal animal would.

A portal opened up near the house and I watched a young boy clad in leather armor with a slim form. His dark hair was blown as he emerged with a stumble. He looked around in wonder as he passed by the bush I was hiding under. He stopped before looking around.

"This must be Midgard."

My eyes narrowed and studied the boy.

I went to him to get a closer examination. With a "meow" he turned, and naturally he was unsure if I was a safe inhabitant of this foriegn world. I stood still and stared at him. He reached for me and irritation flew through my tail… I hated being pet. However it needed to be done so I could smell him. I watched his face shift from uncertainty to joy as he pet me. I nuzzled into his hand and I could not believe it. There had to be more tests to decide for sure but I was already certain… Now if my.. human would allow such a thing to happen -That was highly unlikely.

I nuzzled into him and trailed through his legs. I lead him to my door and he was able to open the door…. I am going to have to yell at her about locking the doors again. This young man walked through the house seeming unimpressed with everything until he saw the cabinet of family heirlooms. Pictures of my past forms taking care of ancestors of my stubborn human.

He looked at the frames with various pictures. I was proud of my various forms I could take. Unfortunately once my human would decide I would be stuck in that form for the rest of their life. Until the next generation would need me.

"How interesting…"

The boy walked around the room and I was convinced he was the one but now time to wake my dear human.

<><><><>

Gabriella woke with a jolt. She heard a terrible thump. Looking at the cat bed near the window to find it was empty.

"Loki?" There was no answer and she put on her bathrobe. "I wonder where he could be. Must be getting into the cat nip again…"

She walked through the house turning on lights and heard a velvety soft voice that made her skin tingle.

Turning on the light to the livingroom Loki was... looking comfortable and proud as he laid on top of a man.

Gabriella gasped at the beautiful porcelain skin, dark hair and gorgeous emerald eyes.

His eyes widened at the sight of her.

Loki purred loudly and proudly spoke, "Hi human. Look what I got for you!"

Gabriella went to pick up the guardian from the captivating male. She quickly chidded. "Loki get off of him!"

The man asked in bewilderment as he stood, "Loki? Your companion's name is Loki?"

Oh that velvet voice sent goosebumps to Gabriella's skin.

She looked at the man as he stood.

In leather… with some metal… an extremely odd choice of clothing.

Gabriella remained calm knowing her guardian Loki would keep her safe. "Who are you?"

"I am Loki of Asgard."

She asked as calm as she could. "Asgard?"

The man fiddled with his hands. "It is not from around here."

Holding onto Loki as he purred she asked, "Then why in my living room? How did you even get in?"

Loki, her guardian Loki, put his paw on her arm and dragged it along the goosebumps. "You left the door unlocked again. How many times do I have to give you this talk?"

She set Loki on the counter and he looked positively bored.

He muttered. "Why else would he have the same name as me?"

The leather clad man looked to the counter where Loki was and asked, "why do you have the same name as me?"

Gabriella's head turned fast to the perfectly chiseled face as she gasped. "You can hear him?"

He blinked a few times as confusion took his face. "Well yes. I can. Why is that so surprising?"

<><><><>

I liked my paw and rubbed it on my head as a way to clean myself from the damn bushes messing up fur. The two sat down eventually and stared at each other. Both of them naturally drawn to the other but unsure what to even do. 

"Well if neither of you talk I am going to be the one to inform Loki, from Asgard, of your two's fate now."

"My fate?"

"Yes lover boy. Your fate. To put it simple… where should I start… I am a guardian over Gabriella's family. I have been for many years. That stand over there? The pictures of humans and me, as their companion guardian. I took the name of each of their soul mates until they found the one they would procreate with. Then I would change form and name to fit the child's needs until that child grows, finds their mate and the cycle continues."

Loki's face was filled with shock from wide eyes to his gaping mouth, "Procreate?"

Gabriella pointed to me but kept her eyes on Loki. "You can seriously hear him?"

Loki's eyes initially glanced but his eyes did not leave her form too long. "Why is that such a shock?"

If I could in this form I would roll my eyes. "Because I am a cat, a beautiful maincoon might I add, and no one understands me other than Gabriella's family, and their soulmates. Also I can talk to other animals but in all honesty, animals are not my favorite company."

Gabriella adjusted her bathrobe with a shiver. "Where are you from again?"

I sighed. "He is from Asgard. Another realm. A completely different world." I laid down on the counter, tucking my paws underneath myself. It was a bit chilly in the house and with a glance outside a few snowflakes fell.

Gabriella stood and started to prepare tea. "This is too…" She trailed off.

I finished her thoughts. "Too real for you? I told you it would happen eventually."

Loki's eyes went side to side as the gear wheels in his brain started to function. Then his eyes looked to me with a wishful question. "Soulmates?"

With a bland and boring tone I explained, "Yes soulmates. There is no hiding how you two feel for the other when you look at the other. Both of your eyes dilate when looking at the other, when talking the other's skin gets bumpy. You two can barely keep your eyes off the other. So make the baby already."

Loki's eyes went wide as he glanced at Gabriella and she chocked on seemingly nothing. Their eyes left the other's. Both of them had a pink dusting along their faces.

Gabriella caught her breath. "Do you need to say that?! We just met!"

I huffed. "Yes let's put off the inevitable. You will produce another person for me to protect. It is in the contract of your family."

Loki spoke up, "courting needs to happen for at least 40 years -Before any such relationship starts."

I laughed, "40 years? Gabriella is already 27. By the time your 40 years are up she is going to be out of her fertility years and won't make a child. Thus, voiding my contract. Which is not going to happen."

Gabriella looked at me with worry before she sat down across from Loki, setting a mug in front of him. "What is Asgard like? What is your job?"

Loki took the mug into his hands and held it to his nose before taking a sip. "I am a prince and am training to be an adviser... For my brother who is next in line for the throne."

Gabriel's eyes widened as she stuttered with a squeak. "Prince?"

I smiled, "royal blood in the family would be nice. Right now all we have is some weak magic."

Loki's eyes barely left Gabriel's face to glance at me. "You have magic?"

Gabriella nodded slowly with a shrug. "It's not much and I barely know anything. My parents had less than I did and the only thing they knew how to do was make potions. Though they died when I was 21." Her eyes were casted down to her mug of tea.

Loki looked at me and I nodded to Gabriel, gesturing with my paw.

A beautiful flower appeared beside Gabriel's mug. After a brief moment of shock a smile danced across her face. She carefully held the golden flower with intricate patterns of black and green along the petals. Meeting his eyes briefly before shying away from the intense and hopeful gaze of Loki. She smelled the flower and held the eye contact, bringing a smile to Loki's face as well. Her notorious gentle hands played with the pedals.

Barely above a whisper she stated, "it's beautiful."

Loki smiled as he held out his hand. A vase was on the table in a beautiful shimmer of gold.

Loki offered while searching Gabriel's face. "I could teach you how to use your magic."

Gabriella gently placed the flower in the vase, a finger running along a petal. "You could?"

Loki smiled proudly with a reply, "I have practiced in seder for 1,000 years."

Gabriella frowned. "How long will you live?"

"I could live up to 5,000" Loki's face fell in thought… "How long do Midgardians live?"

I wanted to groan. 'All that matters is the child that is produced from you two…'

Gabriella let her hand fall and rest on the table. Her face grim and her voice hollow. "100 years if we are lucky. I am already over a quarter of my life."

Loki's eyes fell to his hands. 

I chose to explain the situation in a positive light. "No time like the present though. You two are soulmates, the time you spend together will be the best memories you will ever have."

<><><><>

They talked all night with stories to make the other laugh.

Gabriella explained that her job was to take care of animals once Loki seen the state of her hands.

She laughed as Loki held her hand to see scars.

"They must be vicious animals."

Gabriella gasped as Loki's fingers went over the pale marks. "No. They were just scared and in pain. Thats all. Just part of the job."

I stayed silent as I curled up on my favorite padded seat. 

Things were going well between the soulmates. Loki would appear randomly throughout the days but today there was no sign of him.

Gabriella fidgeted nervously at the table with tea.

"What if he doesn't show up?"

My tail flicked. "He will eventually come back, you are his soulmate."

<><><><>

Loki was in the library, deep within the forbidden spell books.

"Loki? What were you doing in there?"

Loki closed the book and put it back. "Just curious about some new spells."

Frigga went and pulled the book out reading the tittle. "Entwined Life of Soulmates." Frigga hummed as she opened the book.

Loki chose another book to look through.

Frigga hummed. "Soulmates are actually curses my dear. Why are you looking at these?"

"Is there a way to break the curse?"

Frigga gave him a quick glance before speaking. "It depends on the curse if it is worth it. You might kill the other."

Loki paused in rethinking his plan. "I seen that the two that are entwined have no choice in who they love."

Frigga nodded as she skimmed through the pages. "They do not. There is always a guardian to look over the contracted family. Only a member of the contract can break it-but it has to be someone who has not met their soulmate."

Loki hummed… "and the soulmates are to have an heir?"

Frigga closed the book and held it close to her, "my dear Loki, why ask all these questions?"

Loki stayed silent as he contemplated his plan to break the soulbond. If Gabriella had no choice but to love him was it real love? Loki knew he was in love with Gabriella. She was wonderful company, very knowledgeable, and always so happy. The way her eyes would sparkle and her small smile grew more once Loki greeted her made his heart soar.

Frigga took the book out of Loki's hand and exchanged it with the soulmates one.

She smiled. "You have a soulmate. Who is it?"

Loki smiled. "Her name is Gabriella."

Frigga tapped on the book. "I would love to meet your soulmate. Perhaps we could find out more about the rules of the contract."

<><><><>

I stayed up with Gabriella.

She was just about to doze off when the door opened.

Loki called out. "Gabriella?"

Of course she jumped up but Loki was quick to her side so she didn't need to get off the couch.

"I want you to come with me. I want you to meet my mother."

"Your mother?" Gabriella gasped. "Does she know about me?"

"Yes. She also knows we are soulmates."

Gabriella nodded and took Loki's hand. 

Though I wondered how much they knew. There was nothing in the rules to keep Gabriella from talking but the Asgardians might prove to be a little difficult to keep the contract intact…

<><><><>

Loki stood beside Gabriella in the throne room. I was on her other side.

Odin looked down on Gabriella. "She is a mortal. How do you expect to have a life with her? Have a child with her?-The pregnancy alone could kill her."

Loki immediately countered. "There is a book about soulmates. With your permission I could use one of the spells or rituals to extend her life."

I wanted to hiss but kept myself under control. Of course the Asgardians would have a book like that.

Odin waved Loki to silence and stared at Gabriella. "It is time you share your agreements of your contract."

Gabriella stood with as much confidence she could gather.

"Well. My ancestor who made the contract was lonely and wished for a partner with unconditional love, also for their descendants. That is when my family's guardian agreed to match everyone of blood to a soulmate. A child must be produced or the contract is voided."

Odin's gaze did not falter from Gabriella. "What if the contract is voided?"

"The guardian will be stuck in the form it took to help the family member. The guardian gets to live so long as there is a new form to take. The person under the guardian's protection will die shortly after."

Odin demanded. "Why would a guardian agree to such a thing? To my knowledge they live longer without a contract."

Gabriella inhaled shakily, "the guardian agreed to the contract because my ancestor agreed to the bloodline being strengthened so the guardian could inhabit the body of the strong child."

Loki looked to Gabriella and the worry for both her and his future child flooded him in the obvious look of shock.

Gabriella spoke with more volume. "There is a spell that the family members can use to break the contract but it has to be someone that has not met their soulmate."

Odin's stare turned into a glare. "Why did you not use it."

Gabriella's eyes went to the floor. "I am not strong enough."

My tail flicked as the realization hit me that the contract was in danger of being ended by these people and the new body was getting out of my reach.

<><><><>

Once they were sent to their rooms Loki asked Gabriella questions.

"Did you not want me?"

Gabriella sighed heavily before answering. "I didn't want to trap anyone to me. While I knew my parents were happy… I wanted my own choice. I wanted my partner to want me on their own."

Loki played with his hands as he spoke. "I have to admit that I purposely looked for the book I told Odin about. I felt the same way. -That you were stuck with me. I wanted to break the contract so you had a choice."

Gabriella smiled a little. "Thank you. I understand at first we were just under the contract but I got to know you. I must say you are everything I would have dreamed of."

Loki went to hold her hands. "I will make it so we have more time together."

Gabriella smiled up at him, wishing she could kiss him. "I would like to have the time for you to court me."

<><><><>

Loki woke in the morning and readied himself for a long day of looking over spells.

As Loki was collecting his shirt there was a knock on the door.

He thought it was just a messenger but no one called for him to get a message. He could see the shadows of someone standing near the door... He hurried with his shirt and grabbed a dagger from his desk.

Loki demanded through the door. "Who is it?"

"You are not a morning person are you?" Gabriella's laugh relaxed Loki slightly.

With a sigh Loki opened the door.

Gabriella's cheerful face fell once she seen the dagger in Loki's hand.

Loki lifted the offending object up and answered her question. "When people knock on my door they must state who they are and what they need of me. I thought you might have been a threat."

Gabriella nodded. "Well I am sorry, your majesty, for not knowing." She knocked on the door and spoke with authority. "It is I, Gabriella, and I wish to know if you are awake. I have urgent matters to speak to you about."

Loki smiled slightly feeling her happiness. "Are you making fun of me?"

Still with an authoritative voice. "No my Prince. I do have serious things to discuss."

Loki stepped to the side to let Gabriella with a gesture inside. "What do you need to discuss?"

"My job."

Loki's eyebrows melded together. "Your job?"

Gabriella was looking at the books in his collection. Her hand ran along the spines and fingers paused as she looked at him, then around his room. Her touch on the books ended but her hands busied themselves with touching the drapes. Parting them and then tieing them back.

"Yes my job…" Her gaze was to her hands but then she looked to him. "I had today off but tomorrow I need to be there."

Loki didn't understand her point. He walked to her and grasped her hands. Studying her eyes as he spoke. "You can quit. You will be living here now."

Gabriella smiled at him. "I know that but at least two weeks notice is needed so they can replace me. There are animals that need cared for and without enough people it will be difficult to give them that care…"

The cat walked in, Loki, the Mischievous matchmaker.

Gabriella paused then parted her hands to pet Loki. "I also need to get some things for Loki...umm this Loki."

Prince Loki wondered aloud. "Isn't that going to be a bit…. Confusing with our names the same?"

"Well I am not changing my name." Loki swatted at Gabriella's hand. "What supplies do I need? Asgard has plenty of things for me. I am sure the food will taste better here." Loki swatted her hand away again and she kept it to herself. "I am supposed to take care of you."

Gabriella booped his nose. "And who takes care of you?"

Loki pawed his nose and moved it about. "I hate when you do that. You know i hate when you do that!"

Gabriella spoke proudly. "Yes i do. Cat's noses are very sensitive. Besides you are the reason I became a vet. To try to take care of you."

Loki didn't understand, "You became an animal doctor to take care of your guardian?"

Gabriella tilted her head as she replied. "Ofcourse, Loki-the cat is not immortal and he gets sick too."

"But he is going to take our child."

Gabriella smiled bitterly. "If it wasn't for Loki we would have never met. Our homes are realms away and our life expectancy is very different. I knew I was not going to be able to break the curse but our child will have you." Gabriella's smile became gentle and warm. "Our child will have you to teach them everything they need to know."

"Our child will have both of us." Loki went and held Gabriella. "My plans for the day was to study some spells and everything I can on the contract."

Loki felt Gabriella hold him a little tighter.

Her mumbled and relaxed response was mostly muffled by his shirt. "Then our plans are to study spells together then."

<><><><>

I watched them go over spells, well Loki read things to Gabriella. Everything was in Asgardian script but the spells of Loki's choice were on life expectancy.

Gabriella pointed to a page. "I like that one."

Loki turned the page to get away from that spell. "The synchronized soulbond? No. I do not like it. That is my least favorite one."

Gabriella pushed Loki's hair away from his face. "I think it would be nice to know how you are feeling and if you are hurt."

I watched as Loki glared at the new page.

He spoke after he closed his eyes for a brief moment. "I go to battle, I fight in wars -if. If I would die you would too."

"I think it's romantic and poetic."

Loki scoffed. "There is nothing romantic about death, or feeling another's pain. We are not doing that one."

Gabriella smiled as she let her fingers trace his cheekbones and jaw. 

I sat on one of the very nice and comfortable chairs and watched as they discussed multiple spells. When food arrived I actually had my own dish and the food was fantastic. So much better than the canned cat food that Gabriella feed me. After dinner in the hall we were escorted by Loki back to our home.

Loki held Gabriella close to himself as he made a promise. "I will be here when I can but I will be back in two weeks to bring you to stay with me."

Gabriella nodded into his chest. "I am going to miss you."

Loki pulled from her and backed away to head for the door. "I will think of you every minute I am away."

Once Loki was gone I looked at my paw nonchalantly. "So extending your life will mean nothing if I run out of my 9 lives."

Gabriella turned from the window and barked. "What? ...You mean to tell me you knew all along that it wouldn't work -and you said nothing."

My claws came out as I inspected them. Asgard had wonderful things to sharpen my nails. "I didn't want to ruin the happy moment for both of you."

"I cant believe you! All this time you-It has been just a game to you?!"

"You really think you, or your family had any say in this contract? The only thing your ancestor wanted was to make sure you were never alone. But as soon as I get a child's body you will be free to have as many children as you want."

I watched as things started clicking in place. "You had control over how many children my family could have all this time? My parents thought it was their fault."

"How else am I going to prioritize taking care of multiple children? It is much easier to keep eyes on just one person."

By this time angry tears were pouring out of Gabriella's eyes.

I smiled. "Just some things to think about."

Gabriella walked swiftly past me to go to the bedroom.

I yelled, "there is a way to let this contract last longer than my 9 lives…"

Gabriella's heavy footsteps stopped. Anger laced in her question, "how?"

"You give me 10 years off of your remaining lifespan."

With a howl of frustration Gabriella finished her stampede to the bedroom and slammed the door shut.

I snickered. With 10 years of a human I would have enough time to last me 100 years. That is if Prince Loki could figure out a spell for lengthening Gabriella's life. By that time she would have produced an heir to the contract and I would have my new body.

I huffed as I curled on the couch. "Asgard chairs are much more comfortable."

[tilltheendwilliwrite]

Of Blood and Roses

Chapter Twenty-Four

Master List  |  Loki Laufeyson Master List

Previous Chapter

Pairing: Loki x Lauren  |  Word Count: 5233 Warnings: none

Lauren took Sif by the wrist and gave her arm a tug. “Don't fuss. You look wonderful.” The woman had been plucking at her skirt since they'd left the room.

“It tickles,” Sif muttered. “And clings. How does one make the material so thin and floaty?”

“Well, it is magic made fabric. I’m sure Loki can make it do whatever he wants it to,” Lauren shrugged.

The dress he’d created for Sif had a bodice like a gold filigree breastplate upon the deep plum fabric, which fell around her hips, gradually fading into a burnt orange at her thigh and a paler version of the same colour at her ankles. Swirls of plum and gold swooped and looped through the skirt, while patterns of abstract flowers were pressed here and there. Her arms were bare, but the back and neckline were high, and though the fabric swept around her legs in flutters and rustles, Sif walked with a sure stride.

The twins had curled and combed and teased her dark locks into a beautiful updo they’d added small pins with golden roses on the ends to keep the style in place. Sif’s eyes had been darkened, her lips brushed with colour, and Anneke had produced a small bottle of scent completely different from Lauren’s.

Sif now smelled of lavender and gardenias with a little citrus mixed in. It was heady, sweet, and just the slightest bit tart. It reminded Lauren of the woman herself and made her grin broadly when the twins added a few drops to a fresh bottle of oil and proceeded to cover Sif’s hands and arms and throat in the gleaming confection. They’d even added a touch to the oil they’d used to smooth the small amount of frizz in Sif’s hair.

When Sif looked at herself for the first time, Lauren almost cried. She looked stunned by her appearance and near to tears. Excitement burned in her eyes, while nerves coloured her cheeks.

Still, Sif wore more weapons hidden on her person than anyone else Lauren had ever known, besides Bucky. It was a wonder she didn’t clink as she walked for the sheer number of daggers strapped to her thigh. Lauren had, of course, returned her single silver blade to hers beneath the shimmering golden gown.

Loki, she knew, would be ecstatic with the twins choice for the evening. The dress was a strapless sheath of pale gold fabric overlaid in a loose, transparent cloth. It flowed out around and her, shimmering and shining like golden fire every time it caught the light. A large bow whispered against her bare back, but when the twins had offered jewelry for the night, Lauren had declined, choosing only the earrings Loki had bought for her at the market in addition to her torque. With how bright her dress was, Lauren didn’t feel the need for further embellishments.

Anitra had worked her hair up into a series of twists, knots, and braids, and added the gleaming oils to Lauren’s skin and hair. It was a decadent pleasure, being attended to in such a way.

“Do you think… Thor will like it?” Sif murmured, running her hand down her bodice for the sixth time.

“I think he’ll love it. It’s you, but with an added pop of colour. You look perfect, Sif. I swear.” Before she could ask again, or fiddle with her skirt, Lauren plopped her kitten down in Sif’s arm. “Here. Have a kitten to calm your nerves.”

Sif chuckled when Socks began to purr with his big motor. “How does that work so well?”

“Cats are magic,” Lauren smiled. “Felix, my cat at home, can always tell when I’m feelin’ a little blue. He’ll come crawl on me and purr his heart out.”

“Maybe I should get one,” Sif chuckled and rubbed Socks’ ears.

“Or you could wait a while, and I’ll just get you one.”

She shot Lauren a frown. “Why would you… oh!”

Red flushed Sif’s cheeks as Lauren laughed. “It’s only fittin’ as Thor got me mine after my marriage to Loki.”

“You’re so certain this will all work out. I’m terrified we’ll fail.”

“If it didn’t matter, Sif, you wouldn’t be so scared. But it does matter. Be honest with Thor. Speak your worries to him. Communication is key in a good relationship.”

“You clearly communicate with Loki which is strange to see. He always kept everything to himself, or brushed off concern for his well-being with a laugh and a snide remark.”

“Sometimes I wish we’d found each other sooner so that he wouldn’t have been so alone. He’s got a gentle heart beneath all the bluster,” Lauren murmured, her strides slowing as they walked into the feast hall.

The table was empty of all but Fandral and Volstagg.

“It appears we are either early or they are late,” Sif murmured, leading the way through the hall.

Before they’d gone more than a dozen steps, three women rose to block their way. All of them dropped deep curtsies. “Princess Lauren. I’m Lady Haddy, and these are the ladies Marisa and Anna. We were wondering if you would be opening space for your ladies soon? We’d love the opportunity to attend you and help you learn the ways of Asgard.”

Slightly taken aback, Lauren didn’t let it show when she smiled kindly to all three. “I’m afraid I’m not certain yet. Between the combat trainin’ and the seiðr lessons, along with the ridin’ lessons I’ll be givin’, it may take me some time to get my schedule sorted out.”

“Combat training?” said Haddy.

“Seiðr lessons?” said the second.

“You’re giving riding lessons?” asked the third.

“Her Highness is a very accomplished rider,” Sif interjected. “Volstagg’s daughter will benefit from that talent.”

“I have a daughter roughly her age,” the third one - Anna, Lauren thought - said. “Utterly besotted with the beasts. But my husband has no love for them, I know nothing about horses, and we’ve found no one willing to teach her. By chance might we impose to add another to your class?”

“If she’s truly interested, I don’t see the harm,” Lauren tilted her head in agreement. “Tomorrow, after lunch, you may bring her to the barns, and we’ll get the two of them sorted. Baron the stablehand will also be learnin’.”

She blinked her brown eyes rapidly. “A… stablehand? In the same class as my daughter?”

“He’s of the same age and needs the practice.” Lauren eyed her carefully, beginning to doubt the validity of the woman’s words. “Along with proper equitation, your daughter will be required to muck out her horse’s stall, groom, and saddle her mount, and care for it properly after the lesson.”

“Muck?” Anna squeaked.

“If she wants to ride, she must also learn the responsibilities which come with havin’ a horse. That includes shovelin’ the shit.”

All three women gasped.

“Your Highness! You can’t be serious?” Haddy exclaimed.

Lauren waved a dismissive hand. “I shovelled stalls for three months before Teddy let me anywhere near the back of a horse. “Ridin’ is a privilege earned through hard work and proper care,” he told me, and I’ve never forgotten it. If y’alls kids want lessons with me, you can bet they’ll be given a shovel, and a brush, and a comb to deal with the not so fun parts.”

“Here, here!”

Lauren turned and smiled at Daven, Volstagg’s wife. “Lady Daven.”

“Princess Lauren.” She lowered into a quick curtsey. “I for one have no concerns with you insisting Hedda care for the less tenable responsibilities of having a horse.”

“And havin’ my stablehand join her in the ring?”

“The more, the merrier,” Daven stated. “She has been quite full of herself since you offered to teach her. If the lesson is not a private one as she assumes, it might bring her back to earth.”

“Excellent!” Lauren clapped her hands. “She may join me in the barns tomorrow after her lunch then.”

Daven swept her another curtsey and nodded to the three ladies and Sif before gliding off to make her way to the table in the center of the room.

“If you find your daughter is still interested, Lady Anna, you know where I’ll be.” Lauren nodded her head and walked away, leaving them gaping behind her.

“That was very well done,” Sif snickered.

“Hm,” Lauren snorted. “It was the same test I used to give the parents of people who’d stop me at competitions. If they balked at horse care, they would likely be nothin’ but trouble.”

“Understandable,” Sif agreed.

A blur of blue arrived in their path when Nesper, son of Ulf, bowed deeply. The royal blue overcoat was heavily embroidered in threads of gold depicting leaves which reminded Lauren of those from a ginkgo plant. A short tunic in a lighter shade allowed the front of his pants to be seen, highlighting the elaborate codpiece when he rose from his bow. Some kind of bird had been emblazoned there, complete with sparkling gems and fancy stitching.

Lauren gave an inelegant snort and covered her mouth with her hand as she looked toward the ceiling to keep from laughing in his face.

“Your Highness. How pleasant it is to see you again. Have you perhaps had a chance to look over my book?”

She swallowed hard and promised herself she would not let her eyes drift below his neck. “I’m afraid not, Lord Nesper.”

“It is Sir Nesper. His father, Ulf, is the Lord,” Sif murmured.

“Ah, of course. Forgive me my blunder,” Lauren nodded. “I hear Lord Ulf is goin’ to assist in the mediation between the Morinian and the Zendally.”

“He is?” Nesper mumbled before pasting on a smile. “Of course he is. Father is quite adept at negotiating. I’m certain the King will sorely miss his counsel. But about my book…”

“I’m afraid another was recommended in its place, Sir Nesper. Perhaps when I have more time to waste.” Lauren dismissed him with a nod and walked around him.

“And just who was so kind as to suggest an alternative?” Nesper asked between gritted teeth.

“I was.” Joran arrived from behind Nesper and lowered into a deep bow, his helm held beneath his arm. “Princess. Lady Sif.”

“Joran,” Sif nodded.

“Commander,” Lauren smiled. “Perhaps you’d be ever so kind as to escort us to our table. It seems the night to be waylaid.”

“I’d be honoured, my lady.” He rose from his bow and turned to lead the way, his hand settling on the hilt of his sword Lauren assumed was a warning to keep anyone else from trying to stop them.

Lauren hooked her arm through Sif’s and followed after Joran, smiling and nodding when people offered quiet greetings. No others rose to block their passage, and soon Joran arrived at the foot of the stairs. “Lady Sif. Your Highness. Have a pleasant evening.”

“Thank you, Commander Joran,” Lauren smiled. “You’ve been most kind.”

“An honour, my lady.” He offered her a final bow and walked off.

“I think Joran has a crush on you,” Sif whispered in Lauren’s ear.

“What? No!” Lauren gasped. “That’s in no way a smart idea.”

“He won’t do anything about it,” Sif murmured, leading the way up the stairs. “Just pine and create poetry full of suffering.”

Lauren frowned. “You’re puttin’ me on!”

Sif’s eyes gleamed with playful amusement. “I assure you I’m not.”

“What are you teasing our fair princess about?” Fandral asked, rising when they approached the table.

“Joran’s smitten with her, but he’s too much honour to ever do or say anything about it,” Sif teased.

“It would go nowhere even if he did!” Lauren squeaked. “Why is it everytime I turn around, someone’s gotta tell me about someone else's feelin’s?”

“Are you one of those women who can never see the attention they acquire, Princess Lauren?” Daven asked, hiding her smile behind her cup.

“Oh, well, if you were to ask Loki he’d likely tell you yes,” she blushed and reached for her wine glass. The deep red liquid pleased her nose, and the taste sang when it touched her tongue. “That’s lovely,” she sighed and shot a look at Fandral. “This isn’t one of your concoctions is it?”

“No, fair princess,” he chuckled. “That is Xandarian Blood wine. For the colour, highness. They do not put blood in it.”

“Good,” she sighed in relief. “It’s very nice, but I’m not sure I could drink it if they did.”

“You’d be surprised,” Volstagg chuckled. “Blood sausage is delicious.”

Lauren’s nose wrinkled in disgust, but she hid it in her glass.

“I don’t like it either,” Sif whispered near her ear.

Socks leapt from the arm of Sif’s chair to Lauren’s lap and placed his front paws on the table. He gave a soft meow and looked at her quizzically.

“I think he’s learned he can mooch from the table,” Lauren giggled. “But it looks like we’re early tonight, so you’re just gonna have to wait.” She scratched his soft ears.

“Nesper seems quite intent on having you read his book,” Sif smirked.

“Don’t remind me.” Lauren rolled her eyes. “First the library, now here. The man can’t seem to take a hint. My gran would call him slicker than owl shit and tell him he could kiss her go-to-hell.” Sif burst out laughing as Lauren’s fingers flew to her mouth. “It seems the wine is rather potent.”

“I’m so happy you’re Loki’s Ástvinur, Lauren,” Sif giggled. “There is no one like you in all the realms.”

Lauren blushed at the praise but looked up when the sound of flapping wings preceded the two ravens. One landed on the back of her chair, the other the empty chair beside her.

“Eat?” croaked Muninn

“Hungry,” added Hugin who leaned over the back of her chair to gently pluck at Lauren’s hair.

“Y’all are just gonna have to wait till the others get her,” she scolded the two greedy birds.

“Actually,” Fandral smirked. “You can begin the feast, princess as only one member of the royal family must be in attendance to call for the food.”

She blinked at him. “I… I have no idea how,” Lauren admitted, looking down from the high table to all the eyes watching her expectantly.

“Stand up, hold up your hands for quiet, and call out, “Bring on the feast!’” Volstagg said, his grin wide as he rubbed his hands over his considerable girth.

“Nice and loud, Lauren,” Sif said as Lauren lifted Socks to the table and stood on shaking legs. “You can do it,” Sif encouraged.

Lauren took a deep breath and lifted her hands, causing the hall to plunge into silence. “Bring on the feast!” she shouted. The sound carried, and the room erupted into cheers. She blushed, but smiled and sat down swiftly.

“Well done, Highness,” Daven beamed.

“Very commanding,” Fandral grinned.

“Indeed. She has lungs like Thor,” Volstagg teased.

“Oh, hush,” Lauren mumbled into her glass, equal measures pleased and embarrassed.

Sif leaned closer and nudged her elbow. “You did that perfectly.”

“Thank you, Sif,” Lauren smiled. “This is so much easier with you here.”

“What are friends for, Lauren?” Sif smirked and refilled Lauren’s wine glass.

“Question?” Lauren asked, blushing a little harder.

“As you're the colour of a summer rose, may I assume it's a scandalous query you're about to voice," Fandral asked, leaning closer.

“Um, well… I just noticed Nesper and his… uh, colourful addition to his pants.” She felt her face burn. “Is that somethin’ y'all do or…” Lauren gulped from her glass when Fandral's grin turned wicked.

“The fancy codpiece caught your eye did it? He and his friends are trying to bring it forth as a new fashionable trend. Personally, I do not think I need to call further attention to my manhood when his reputation preceeds me, but to each their own. Why? Did you find it to your liking, princess?”

“Lord no!” Lauren burst out in giggles, shifting a little when the servants arrive to set platter after platter on the table. “That was a fashion on Earth back in the middle ages. I nearly bust a gut tryin’ to keep from barkin’ a laugh in his face.”

Volstagg snorted as he snagged a platter of meat from a passing server and plopped it down in front of him. “Pompous windbag. His father is a great man. Unfortunately, Nesper didn’t inherit Ulf's good sense.”

“I will happily run him off for you, Highness, if that's your wish?” Fandral offered, half rising from his seat.

Lauren waved him down. “I'm perfectly capable of runnin’ him off myself if necessary.”

“And Joran seems to pop up whenever you need assistance,” Sif teased.

“Hush, you!” Lauren squeaked. “Loki growled at him in the library already. Don't be goin' and makin’ things worse when there's nothin’ there!”

The table as a whole laughed, and Sif patted her hand. “I'm just teasing. We all know you, and Loki only have eyes for each other.”

Lauren shook her head, a wry smile on her lips. “Well, just remember who my husband is. He's more likely to stab first and clarify things second,” she reminded them as she began to fill her plate, offering meat to the ravens, her kitten, and when the brush of fur came to her knees, she tore the legs off the cooked fowl before her, and gave them to the two wolves beneath the table.

***

The feast was underway when Thor, Odin, and Loki arrived, causing the three of them to exchange an intrigued look.

“She grows more comfortable in her position every day,” Thor smiled.

“Sif’s encouragement has been invaluable,” Loki murmured, his eyes on the table in the center of the hall. He could see her hair, but not what she was wearing from this angle. He found everytime she changed her clothes it gave him a thrill for she was so incredibly beautiful in her Asgardian garb.

Then, as if she could sense him, she looked toward the door, and a sweet smile broke upon her lips. Loki’s strides lengthened until he’d left his father and Thor behind and climbed the stairs two at a time.

She rose to meet him and took his breath for it appeared flames of gold rippled through her gown. “Loki! There you are. I started dinner,” she giggled, reaching up to hug him.

Her lips were right there, so Loki took them in a gentle kiss which transferred the flavour of the wine on her lips to his. “I see that, my heart,” he grinned, sliding his fingers across her bare shoulders. “And you’ve been enjoying the Xandarian wine.”

“It’s lovely.” She fluttered her lashes, pressed up on her toes to peck him another kiss, then pulled back to sit in her seat. “Everythin’ tastes so good, and I was just starvin’!” she giggled.

“A combination of training and lessons, I’m sure,” he said, nodding to the table when they bid him welcome. He shooed Hugin out of his seat, the raven fluttering off to sit on the back of his father’s looking fat and happy. There were crumbs on his chair, ones he vanished, understanding why Hugin appeared so smug, and why Muninn was dozing on the back of Lauren's. They were quite the spoiled pair, it seemed. The brush of fur against his shins only proved the wolves had already been begging at her feet as well but returned to his father's side when Odin took his seat.

She leaned closer, a glass of wine in her fingers, and whispered against his ear, “Among other kinds of exertion.”

The dim light did nothing to diminish the flush on her cheeks or the sparkle of naughtiness in her eyes. “My sweet,” Loki purred, leaning closer. “You’re a little bit drunk I think.”

“Am I?” she grinned. “Maybe that’s why I feel so soft and floaty. But I’ve only had two glasses,” she pouted. “I don’t think I’m that drunk.”

Sif held up three fingers when Lauren wasn’t looking.

He plucked Lauren’s glass from her fingers and drank the rest of her wine himself before placing a water goblet back in her hand. “You look lovely, pet. Like a shiny gold wrapped sweet in the candy store window. I want to unwrap your bow,” he whispered against her cheek.

“Tell me what you found out, and I’ll let you,” she hummed, a teasing smile on her lips.

“Many things, darling. I spoke with Father about you.”

A frown furrowed her brow. “Why do you look annoyed?”

He sighed and shook his head. “We argued. There is nothing new in that.”

“About?”

She was most persistent for someone who was a little bit tipsy. “Why he kept my background from me. It’s not something I wish to discuss here, darling. Please.”

Her glass went to the table; then her hands lifted to frame his face. Eyes big and green and gorgeous peered into his. “I’m sorry, elskan min. Sorry that he hurt you.”

“He had his reasons,” Loki sighed, resting his forehead against hers. “Good or bad, it doesn’t matter any longer.”

“It does matter. It matters because it hurt you. It matters because it’s still hurtin’ you.”

He closed his eyes; the feel of her emotions heavy in his chest. “I think it won’t matter what answers come. I’m not sure I will ever stop hurting. I want only to put it in the past. His approval and his affection are but teardrops in the ocean when it comes to yours. They matter little. Your love and faith are all I need.”

“You have it, peaches. Always,” Lauren whispered and kissed him softly, pouring all her love into it, warming the ache from his heart stone.

When he released her lips, he sat back to take her in. Ethereal and shimmering gold, she glowed with love and beauty. He couldn’t help himself. “Darling… I feel the overwhelming desire to give you a gift.”

“Loki,” she scolded, but he shook his head.

“No, no.” He held up his hand, drawing the eyes of everyone at the table. “It can’t be helped. You’re simply too precious for words.” A flick of his wrist produced a small box in dark green and gold paper, tied in a shiny black bow on the table before her.

She huffed a little breath, a blush of pink filling her cheeks, but she plucked and pulled at the bow until it came loose. Her kitten immediately dragged the ribbon from the table into her lap where Socks batted it around.

Lauren worked the lid off the top, gently removed the soft fabric covering his gift, and gasped in amazement, “Oh, my stars!”

“I noticed you lack an ornament for your hair tonight, my love,” Loki said when she gently picked up the glass flower from within the box.

“Loki, it’s beautiful!”

“Gorgeous,” Sif murmured in agreement, eyeing the ornament covetously.

Loki shot a hard glance at Thor who was watching the proceedings closely, then took the ornament from her and inserted the long pins into her hair behind her ear. He flicked his fingers to be assured what he said next would not carry beyond the table. “Such a beautiful woman should have a crowning adornment. Especially one who appears to be on her way to becoming an Earth Mother.”

The faces around the table lit up in excitement.

“How wonderful!” Daven exclaimed. “An Earth Mother!”

“Well, that makes much sense,” Fandral agreed. “No wonder the creatures of Asgard find you fascinating.”

“It quite suits you, Lauren,” Sif agreed.

“I'm afraid I don't know what that means,” Lauren said, looking at Loki.

It means, my love, that you're tied to the earth and nature. You'll have specific and unique duties to perform like the changing of the seasons.”

“I get to do what now?”

He chuckled softly. “Change the seasons. Four times a year you and I will ride out across Asgard so you may pull the veil of the season along with you. Spring will warm to summer. Summer will blaze into fall. Fall shall close around us in blankets of white. And in the spring, you'll ride out to melt the snows and return the flowers.”

She stared at him with her mouth open. “Al… alright.”

“You'll feel the ebb and flow of nature through the nine realms. Occasionally, we may even have other worlds ask for your aid in ending a drought or stopping a flood. You'll be quite beloved of all the people, my darling when the news is announced. For now, it's best to keep such things within our close circle. Until you are more comfortable in your nature.” He cast a glance around, receiving understanding nods from the others.

“That sounds like a pretty big responsibility, Loki,” Lauren murmured, fidgeting the ribbon in her lap and driving her kitten wild.

“It is a gift to our world and our people. An Earth Mother is rare and beautiful. Your kind are adored for your abilities, guaranteeing prosperity for our people. A blessing from an Earth Mother is something highly sought after. There will be many people who will seek your aid.”

“It is good she is also a truth speaker,” Thor added. “You will know who to help and when thanks to that gift.”

“How do you say no to someone seekin’ help for a drought-ridden crop?” Lauren asked.

“You listen, and you discuss it with me. We travel to the world and see the damage first hand. And you connect to the place through Yggdrasil. There will be times the world will speak to you, and you will be required to let what is happening happen,” Loki said.

She sighed and shook her head. “I feel very dense, Loki. I don't understand.”

He hummed softly as he thought how best to explain it. “There are forests on Midgard which must burn to renew themselves, are there not?” She frowned but nodded. “And if you stepped in and hindered the flame with rain, you would be doing more damage than good, yes?”

“Oh, I see,” she nodded thoughtfully. “And you're sayin’ I'm gonna know when to help and when not to?”

“Yes, my heart. It will be part of your gifts.” He tilted her chin up and dropped a soft kiss to her lips. “You'll be glorious at it. Already you make the land bloom.”

“I do, don't I?” she giggled.

“Oh, yes, my darling. You certainly do.” She would be a wonder.

***

Amazement filled him watching Loki with Lauren. Thor wondered if he'd ever be able to turn a phrase so perfect to make Sif blush in such a way.

She looked stunning tonight with her hair upswept leaving her long neck bare. Thor wanted to place his lips there, feel the beat of her pulse as it quickened. He wanted to take the golden roses from her hair one by one until the mass of it was spread out over his pillows. He wanted to see her in all her glory, soft and warm against his sheets. He just wanted her.

He wanted her at his side always, where he could speak his troubles and rest in her embrace. Where they could work together toward the betterment of Asgard. He wanted to rule with her by his side, and raise their children up to be the next King or Queen of Asgard.

She looked up from her place beside Lauren and pink washed into her cheeks when he didn't look away. He hoped his appreciation of her gown and her appearance showed in his eyes.

His brother and father had been most explicit in their insistence he not give Sif a weapon as his first courting gift, but he wasn't stupid. Weapons were easy. He could give them without revealing his true feelings. Now, though, he no longer had to hide those from her and had the perfect present in mind. One difficult to acquire, but he wasn't about to fail, and he wouldn't demean the gift by asking Loki to create it for him.

“Loki,” Thor murmured, drawing his brother's attention. “I will need you to take my place tomorrow to see petitioners.”

Loki arched a brow. “And just what will you be doing, brother dear, that will keep you from such a chore?”

“I have a journey to make and will be leaving in the morning to go to Vanheim.”

“My king, I shall meet you at the Bifröst at sunrise,” Sif said, Fandral and Volstagg nodding their agreement.

“Not this time,” Thor murmured. “I will ask you to stand in support of Loki. Hogun has gone ahead to see his wife and family and will meet me there.”

The three looked surprised and slightly hurt, but nodded their agreement.

Loki only smirked his wicked grin, having figured it out. “Gladly, Thor.”

At the far end of the table, Daven began regaling them with a tale of Aggie, her youngest, drawing the attention of everyone, but Thor found his gaze drifting back to Sif. He knew her face, knew every curve and angle. Tonight, though, he found her lovelier than ever with her eyes darkened and her lips and cheeks brushed with colour. Beneath the scents of food and the one which he’d learned was distinctly Lauren, he could smell the sweet, tart scent of something new.

It spread an ache in his stomach the likes of which he had not suffered from since he was a youth feeling the first blush of desire. When Loki’s foot connected with his shin, Thor grunted and shot him a glare.

Loki leaned closer, and a flick of fingers preceded the sound of the rest of the room cutting out. “If you keep staring at her like she is a sweet you wish to devour, you will give yourself and her away.”

“I can’t help it,” Thor muttered, shifting toward his brother. “She looks incredible.”

“Make sure you tell her so when you ask her to dance,” Loki smirked. “Are you heading to Vanheim for what I think you are?”

Thor grinned into his ale. “Maybe.”

“An excellent choice for a first gift.”

“I hope so. I’ve wanted to get her one for some time, but…”

“It is a very telling gift,” Loki agreed.

Thor sipped from his cup before asking, “You don’t mind seeing the petitioners?”

“A triviality of ruling I have no love for, but as long as I am not called upon to do so often,” he shrugged, “I will step into your role for a day.”

“Good. Perhaps Lauren would like to sit in?”

“And be bored out of her mind? Are you trying to see I never have sex again?” Loki scoffed and rolled his eyes.

Thor chuckled at him. “It is not that terrible.”

“It is mind-numbingly boring,” Loki groaned. “But if it secures Sif as your Queen, I will suffer through it.”

“I’ve never dared let myself hope…”

“Seize the dream, brother,” Loki murmured as he sat back. “It’s within your grasp as long as you don’t screw it up.”

The smirk on his face had Thor rolling his eyes as the noise of the hall rushed back in.

Next Chapter

[existentialyoutubers]

interactive introverts milwaukee

i know it’s late but here is a list of ~spoilery~ things that happened at the milwaukee show! 

(seriously, it’s super full of spoilers so don’t read if you haven’t seen the show yet/don’t want to know what happens)

(also this got long as heck so enjoy?)

Simulation:

-Phil said they spent billions of Milwaukee dollars on it -Dan called them “cheese coins, because that’s a thing” -there was a Horse Prince reference at the beginning (Dan’s head on a horses body) -Dan made a comment about how of all the references we were going to get, we probably weren’t expecting that -Dan yelled at us for cheering for Satan (it’s because he’s shirtless isn’t it?) -he kept bringing up that the people in the balcony loved Satan -also commented that clearly they weren’t in Texas anymore because of that -Phil’s ending was him going home to watch “Fletnix” and crying -they yelled at us for making Phil cry -Phil asking if we wanted Dan to go through the Lady Door -Dan’s ending had him sneaking into the girls bathroom at a furry rave, hitting his head, and dying -Dan was indignant at this “THAT WAS THE WORST POSSIBLE ENDING YOU COULD GET” Survey: -clipboards and glasses -“everyone knows glasses make you smarter” -Dan dabbed for math and Phil yelled at him -“you can’t dAB for mATH” -“yes I can watch me” *Dan dabs again* -pie chart (Dan said they spent their entire budget on that pie chart so that was the peak of the show) -12% of people said they didn’t know who Dan and Phil were and the boys were SO CONFUSED -“whERE DO YOU THINK YOU ARE RIGHT NOW?” -“is it all the parents???” -“what do you think this is, Shrek the musical?” -16% of people said danandphilCRAFTS is their favorite video series and they were even more confused -Dan was on the wheel and he was not happy about it -he kept trying to get Phil to shoot random people in the audience -Phil was wearing an apron and rubber gloves and called it his serial killer look -Phil was pointing the slingshot at Dan and Dan freaked out “whERE ARE YOU POINTING THAT THING” -“at your leg” -“looks like you’re pointing it at my face” (he definitely was) -Phil hit Dan in the upper thigh with the slingshot -Dan freaked and commented about how Phil would have “hit me in the nuts” if he hadn’t moved his leg -Phil missed with the bow and arrow and the bazooka -when it was over Dan practically jumped off the wheel he was in such a hurry -“bloody frick” and then he repeated it like he couldn’t believe he had just said that -Dan had to help Phil with his apron -Phil had to help Dan get the coverup off -everyone started cheering when Dan took it off -he yelled at us and moved almost off stage -he got his foot stuck and Phil had to help Collective Mind: -we were all called Linda (L-slice) -some people messed up the picking a dog/pointing thing but Dan said they were valid -some people also messed up the clapping thing -they weren’t as happy about that -“it’s ON three what’s wrong with you?” -we had to do it like three or four times -it was super satisfying when we got it though -Dan said it made him feel tingly and he rubbed his nipples and Phil told him to stop -before they passed around the beach balls Phil said that if you had when the music stopped and you didn’t want it you could give it to someone else -it was very soft and sweet -the things in Dan’s box were a hair straightener (he had to lock his emo phase in a box), his dentist kink video (it was so cringey he locked the SD card in the box), and a golden lady door (why is it golden???) -one of the girls nearly hit Phil in the face when she threw the ball back (“wow that was violent!”) -Dan kept commenting on Phil’s balls and how he couldn’t keep control of them because Phil kept dropping them -every time he’d pick one up he’d drop another Truth Bombs: -one of Dan’s was if he started a religion what would it be called  -one option was ‘hi, my name is [jesus]’ and Dan goes “you just roasted me and Jesus”  -another was ‘lolzr xD llamas...ism  -Dan picked that one but said you can’t just add ism on the end that doesn’t count -Phil got what’s on his internet browsing history (I genuinely can’t remember the rest oops) Dan vs. Phil: -the psychic category was dog breeds -Dan said Shib (of course) and Phil said chihuahua -“wHY WOULD YOU SAY CHIHUAHUA” -“it was the first thing that came to mind” -“that’s nOT THE POINT OF THE GAME” -for the dilemmas, Dan said he’d do anything for Phil -Dan’s dilemma was that Phil’s houseplants would never die but Dan’s entire internet history would be uploaded -it was no contest for him, he said he absolutely would never do that -Phil’s dilemma was that Dan would become an athlete but he would miss a single Christmas -he said it would be worth it -Dan lost 2-1 -the overall score is 28-26 in Dan’s favor -Dan says it’s because he’s number one Phil trash Good vs. Bad: -Dan tried to explain the wholesome Howell thing -Phil used a really deep voice the entire time (X-rated Lester) -they both failed the first and got the second one, but Dan failed the last one and Phil got it -Phil’s first one was a tasty meal and he started rambling about dog food and beetles and dog waiters -his second one was hugs and he turned it into getting hugged by an alien and them opening up and eating you -Dan commented that he should write horror...or at least tentacle fanfiction -his last one was a million puppies and he talked about getting smothered by them and dying (Dan said that’s the way he wants to die) -Dan’s first was infinity wars spoilers and he claimed they were good because then you’re not surprised by the emotional trauma -his second was his old branding and he basically said it was good because you can learn from it and move forward -his last one was the G note and he basically forfeited and stormed off the stage saying he couldn’t make that a good thing Dan, Phil or Rat: -the first one was just totally white and it was Phil’s guess -he was like “is that me? am I really that white?” so he guessed himself and got it right -Dan made a joke about how the only D Phil needs is vitamin D -Dan’s guess was basically just completely black -he was like “is that a rat? is that Phil’s hair?” -he guessed rat and got it right Golden I Awards: -Most inaccurate prediction of the show  -first was Dan and Phil pogo sticking with Nick Jonas (Dan got mad that Nick is engaged now and that they can’t be buddies in London anymore #ripdick)  -next was Phil falling off stage, Dan screaming, and everyone’s heads exploding  -the winner was a seven hour long titanic musical (Phil said Dan could be the boat, Dan agreed because Phil makes him want to break in half and sink) -Pets dressed as Dan and Phil -the first was a cat in a plaid shirt -Dan laughed about how any animal in a plaid shirt is just immediately Phil -next was a dog wrapped in a black blanket -the epitome of Dan clearly -the winner was a dog in Dan’s signature eclipse T-shirt -Phil commented on how that dog was more photogenic than Dan ever will be -Dan said that dog slayed his entire life Casual Chat: -Phil something about getting intimate at the same time as Dan said getting personal -Dan goes “I was okay with personal but noooo you had to say intimate” -the first question was what their favorite videos were -they both said the photo booth challenge because it was so stupid but hilarious -Dan also said they’d never cried so violently whilst editing a video (from laughing so much) -someone sent in that they had a presentation coming up and they were scared they were going to pee on the floor -Dan goes “is that a question or are you just letting us know?” -their advice was basically that everyone feels the same way so don’t worry too much -and Dan said also to wear an adult diaper -another girl said her brother had replaced her with fortnite -Dan was like yeah I relate Phil did the same thing to me -too much fortnite talk after that Random: -Phil got attacked by a seagull on his way from the bus to the building -he was very dramatic about it -Dan says that’s what he gets for going outside for three seconds -Dan made a comment later about cannibalistic seagulls -Dan said this was the worst place for Phil to be because it’s the cheese state -“the buildings are made of cheese, you’re all made of cheese” -Dan -apparently Phil is just constantly lactose intolerant in Wisconsin -apparently our show was originally just going to be cheese curd wrestling -according to Dan it would have been perfect “with the hexagon just put up some nets and fill it with cheese” -Dan called someone out for having their iPhone out -“can you put that down the glare is blinding me” -then they were joking about the tension in the air after that -Phil was waving his fingers in the air “I can feel the tension around you” -Dan’s response “I don’t think the tension wants you touching it like that” -Phil had on a badgers hat for the rap -he also dropped the B word and everyone dIED -they were talking about changes and Dan brought up Phil’s new hair -his conspiracy theory is that this Phil is a clone and that it killed the real Phil -“WHERE IS THE BODY?” -Phil shot back that this Dan must be a clone too with the curly hair -Dan acted shocked/concerned every time everyone cheered about something strange (they said they were going to drop 20,000 lbs of ice on us, also they were going to release bees into the crowd) -so much teasing Phil about the dead houseplants -Dan called him the Dexter of houseplants -at one point Dan said something about how Loki the houseplant was doing as good as actual Loki and the crowd just died -he also made a “I don’t feel so good” reference and there was much screaming/protesting -there was a moment when Phil misread something and then joked about his apparently useless English degree 

  -Phil 100% came close to falling off the stage about three times -seriously one of the times was so close Dan actually got worried -also Dan seemed concerned that Phil may not be able to make it onto the piano for the duet -there was an audible sigh of relief from Dan once Phil hopped up onto the piano

[ineffablewordsatnight]

The emperor`s pet (Loki x Reader) Chapter 2

Hey guys, I am so happy, that so many of you liked the first chapter of this fic, so thank you for this positive feedback:) Anyways, here is chapter 2, there is not that much action in it, but it works as a kind of prelude for what is about to come. I hope you enjoy it as much as the first. Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4, Chapter 5, Chapter 6, Chapter 7, Chapter 8

If you want to be added on the tag list, just text me and I will gladly add you.

Pairing: Loki x Reader

Word Cound: 3287

Warnings: None, just fluff

You woke up from the dreamless state of your mind with a startled yelp. A short feeling of disorientation flooded through your veins and as you shot up, you felt dizzy. You had absolutely no idea, how much time had passed, since Loki had put you out. Groaning, you sank back onto the comfortable and smooth bed. You laid on your back and stared at the bright ceiling. You were seated in a white room with three massive walls and one golden holographic one. A cell. Probably sealed with magic. You were imprisoned in a fucking cell, Gods know where. You sighted and examined your “room” further. The bed you were currently lying on was a simple one, just a thin mattress, black cotton sheets, a soft green blanked and a matching cushion.

You tried to rise again from the bed, carefully this time and no sick feeling took you over. You carefully examined your whole body and checked if you were hurt anywhere. You didn´t seemed to be harmed, besides the headache caused by your earlier encounter with the coffee table. The blood was dry, but there was a faint throbbing right behind your temple. You huffed out in annoyance.

Great. A Headache, exactly what I need now.

Deciding to take care of your head later, you took some shaky steps forwards to have a better look at your surroundings. You looked at the golden wall and carefully tried to touch it. As your hand came in touch with the softly glowing wall, you nearly expected that it would cause you pain like an electric fence, but nothing happened. You could easily touch it and it felt smooth underneath your fingertips. Looking outside your cell, you couldn´t identify anything else besides a dark hallway and an empty cell right across from yours. You turned around again and faced the remaining furniture. On the opposite wall of your bed, there was a huge bookshelf. It spread across the whole right wall and was stuffed with all kinds of books. You stalked closer and pulled some of them out to read the titles.

Jane Austen, Shakespeare, George R.R. Martin, Tolstoi, Fitzgerald, so mostly classics. You thought, while pulling out some of the even older, heavy and leather-bound books.

Oh, norse mythology, funny.

You scoffed, placing the book back. Next to the bookshelf was a big, comfy looking armchair with a blue blanket spread across it. You let yourself flop down on it, lazily dangling your legs and looking around.

Boring, I´m not even five minutes awake and I´m already bored.

You thought as your gaze fell upon a wooden dresser with three drawers. Your interest was piqued and you swiftly jumped to your feet and made your way over to the other side. You opened the top drawer and glimpsed inside. You found some black and grey T-shirts mixed with some rather colourful ones.

Clothes? Why would he put clothes in here, if you´re his prisoner?

Irritation swept through your mind as you opened the two other ones firmly, just to discover some matching pants, hoodies and even underwear.

Shaking your head, you closed the drawer with a loud thud.

Strange.

After spinning around one more time, just to discover, that there was nothing more to be observed or discovered, you dropped to the floor and laid flat down. You stretched your arms over your head and slowly massaged your throbbing temple to work against the building headache.

As you laid there, you realized what just happened and anxiety rushed through your veins as the cold facts hit you. Loki had kidnapped you. Loki. The God of Mischief and Lies.

What you didn´t get were his motives. If he wanted to stop the Avengers from working against him, he could have just killed them or if he wanted to have some ´fun´ with them, he could have imprisoned them all here. But he didn´t. He just took you in and that was odd. He didn´t seemed to hold a grunge against you. In fact, it seemed like he just spontaneously took you with him as some kind of price or safe insurance, maybe even as a trophy to indicate his victory over the celebrated team of heroes. But what was he going to do to you? And how long shall you stay in this prison? You couldn´t find the answer to all these questions and maybe you didn´t even want to know.

Deciding, that there wasn´t much to do for you, reading wasn´t an option, because your headache had become worse and the slight throbbing had turned into a constant pounding, you closed your eyes and concentrated on the cold surface beneath you.

P.O.V. Shift to Loki, after he knocked you out

“Goodnight Princess.”

Loki swished with his hand in front of the girl´s face and her bright eyes dropped as did her body, but before she could hit the ground, he caught her small form.

Gently hoisting her up, so he carried her bridal style, he turned to the rest of her team. Banner was still unconsciousness thanks to a little bit help of his magic, but while Loki had been busy staring at the girl, Tony had had enough time to get up and call is Iron Man suit and as the norse god turned around, he was faced with two blasts of pure energy directed at his slender form.

Quickly, he jumped to the left and escaped the attack with a swift, but graceful movement. Spinning around, he snapped his fingers and the arms of the man in the iron suit were glued to his torso. Tony struggled and tried to move again, but he wasn´t able to get his arms free. With another hasty movement of Loki´s hand, the engineer was yet again sent across the room, against the wall, but this time, Loki´s magic held him there, trapping him in his own suit.

The rest of the team, still glued to the ground, sent him yet another glare.

“What the hell Loki?” Clint exclaimed. “What are you doing? And what are you doing with her?”

Loki turned his hardened gaze to the archer.

“I can do, whatever I want.” He said, ignoring his second question and taking a step towards the spot, where Clint and Natasha were sealed to the ground. “And you can´t stop me. Besides that, how would you do this? You can´t even move a muscle right now.”

He grinned evilly, taking another step in their direction.

“Yeah, yeah, whatever.” Natasha spoke up. “We get it. You are powerful and all mighty, we are just earthlings with no power, who stand no chance against you. Been there. Done that. Now…”, she lifted an eyebrow at him, “could you just let our friend go and get the hell out of here?”

Her voice dropped to a pleading tone. “We won´t interfere with your plans anymore, ok? Promise” She even smiled at him, well tried.

The god of mischief looked at her, eyes unreadable throughout her whole little speech.

“You won´t interfere with my doings?” He asked and Natasha nodded.

She gave him a serious, but pleading look and Loki seemed to think about her ´offer´ for a moment, but then he threw his head back into his neck and let out a lout roar of laughter.

“Do you really think, I am that stupid? Do you really think, I would believe you?”

His head snapped back and his cold stare bored into them.

“I am the god of lies. I can tell exactly when you are telling the truth or not and right now you reek of lies.” He scoffed at her.

Natasha flinched back as much as she could with her body still being stuck on the floor, as if he had slapped her. His aura had turned even colder and also darker during this statement and his whole stature screamed danger. His eyes were glinting with sadistic playfulness and it seemed like all humanity was drained from them.

“N…No.” She stammered, intimidated by his sudden change of demeanour. Everything before this statement, even the fight was just like a prelude, like a play to scare them away, a promise for what was about to come, but the real trouble, the real danger had just shown now, at this moment and it scared all of them.

“I really, really mean it, right guys?” She asked, turning around to her team mates as best as she could. Steve pressed his lips tightly together, but even he was shocked by the god´s sudden change of personality, so he just shortly nodded. Clint mimicked his gesture and even Tony let out a muffled “yes”.

“See? We all do agree on this.”

Loki just stood there, in complete silence, watching the defenceless team of so called super heroes begging him to spare their lives, making promises to save their own skins.

He tilted his head slightly and decided to push this play a little further.

“If you say so…” He slowly stated.

“Yes, we do.” Steve interrupted with new found spirit. “Now, if you just put (y/n) down and let us be, we won´t cause any trouble.”

“(y/n)” Loki murmured. So that´s her name. Pretty.

“And why should I do that?” He asked out louder.

Steve´s face fell and was replaced by an angry grimace.

“Because she hasn´t done anything to you, why would you torture her?”

“Who says anything about torturing her? I just want to take her with me as…” He paused for a moment, pretending to think about it. “As encouragement for you to keep your promise of doing nothing.”

A Cheshire cat like grin spread across his face and he pulled the unconsciousness girl even closer to his chest as to demonstrate that he won´t let go of her, no matter what.

“You can´t do that!” Clint roared upset.

“You don´t need any bargain against us, if you are so powerful as you claim to be, you can easily restrain us, even without taking her.” Natasha added, trying to sound reasonable, but a small tremble in her voice gave her away. She was scared. Scared what he´d do to her friend, if he took her with him.

And Loki saw that. He saw it and relished in the feeling of having control over all of them so easily.

“Ahhh, I don´t think it would be that easy. Besides, I want to be sure, that you don´t plan anything behind my back and where would be the fun if I couldn´t put some pressure on you by putting someone’s life in a little danger?” Their painful expressions added even more fuel to the fire of excitement and superiority that he felt at that moment, but he knew, that he couldn´t keep playing with them like that forever.

“So, as much as I´d love to stay here and see the hope shatter on your faces, I have to go. I have two realms to rule and that is quite the work, I dare to say.”

He started to back away and suddenly the Avengers weren´t held by his magic and able to move.

“Don´t forget the deal. Don´t do anything stupid. If you act against me, I will punish (y/n) for that.”

He gave them one last smirk.

“Goodbye.”

And just like that he disappeared, just as they started to charge at him again.

P.O.V. Reader

You still laid there on the cold ground, feeling the floor beneath you, as you suddenly felt a presence next to your side. Slowly you opened your heavy eyes and turned your head to the right. You were faced with a pair of sparkling emerald green eyes, which looked at you with curiosity.

Startled, you tried to rob away, but you couldn´t get far, because your bed blocked your rapid movements. You inwardly cursed and let your eyes defeated trail back to his.

He had watched your sudden actions quietly and was now looking at you with one eyebrow lifted to create a perfect arch.

“Why are you lying on the floor?” Curiosity and amusement mixed with his questioning tone.

“Why are you lying next to me?” You shot back, trying to sound as defensive as possible.

“I was bored and wanted to see, if my newest toy is awake.”

You gaped at him.

What did he just call you? And in such a casual way. That bastard.

You shuffled slightly around and maneuvered yourself in a sitting position.

“I´m not your toy.” You exclaimed, trying to sound as annoyed, but simultaneously as convincing as possible.

He raised his eyebrows at you again.

“I don´t think that you are in the position to decide what you are for me and what not, Midgardian.”

He spoke the last word with such a disgusted undertone, that you really felt rather worthless for a short moment, as if he was right and you were wrong.

No. Stop. He kidnapped you. He tries to get into your head. Stay strong. Don´t let your anxiety get the best out of you.

You stayed silent, not really knowing what to say and not really trusting your voice at this point.

Loki huffed.

“No, really”, now he sounded rather annoyed, “why aren´t you reading or lying in your bed or sitting on this mighty comfy chair? You noticed that there is a rather big bookshelf right next to you, right?”

You couldn´t believe, that he just sounded pissed, because you, his prisoner, here against your own will, wasn´t enjoying herself in this prison.

You snapped.

“Oh, excuse me, that I didn´t appreciate the furniture and all your lovely gifts, but my head is trying to kill me. Thanks to you, if I might add.”

You crossed your arms before your chest and let out a huff.

He can´t be serious.

For one second there was only silence and then…

Small waves of laughter started to erupt from the god´s mouth. He couldn´t help himself and let out a louder chuckle.

You glared at him.

“Excuse me, why is this so funny?” Now you sounded even more pissed.

“I am sorry, it´s just…” He tried to regain his posture.

“Nothing, it´s nothing.” He said.

Was he wiping away a tear?

You huffed again, turning away from him.

“But I can help with that headache, if you want.” He stated.

You slowly spun around to him, a curious look on your face as if to ask why he would offer to help you. You examined his features. He had an honest and rather confident look on his face and it didn´t seem like he was joking. Still, you remained sceptical and on guard.

He seemed to pick up on your thoughts and rolled his eyes.

“Well, I can´t let you suffer all the time, can I?”

He then proceeded to lean forward and lightly touched your head again.

You had a feeling of déjà vu, because his fingers grazed your temple as careful and soft as before he knocked you out cold earlier.

A small voice in your head whispered, that maybe he would do just that again, but you quickly shut it down and concentrated on the movements of his fingers.

He traced a light patter right above your wound and the spot, where the pain was the worst. You couldn´t identify if he was drawing runes or just a random patter, that came into his mind. Yet you could see some green sparks of his magic flying around and then…nothing…the pain was gone.

You sighted happily, as the thrumming of your head was no longer violating your thoughts. You opened your eyes, not remembering when you had closed them, and were faced again with the slender features of the norse god. You swore that those eyes would be your nemesis, you felt again like you were drowning. Drowning in the best way possible.

As quickly as that thought crossed your mind, you shoved it back down into the abyss of your mind, where it seemed to come from.

A sly grin flashed across his face.

“Better?” He asked with a pleased and self-confident expression.

“Yes.” You nearly whispered. You cleared your throat, not liking how your voice sounded, so small and timid. “Thank you.”

He shot you a smile. An actual smile and you couldn´t help yourself, but smiled back softly.

Suddenly breaking out of this dream like state, you mustered him again with a more calculating stare.

“Still, you haven´t explained yourself. What am I doing here? Why am I here? What do you want from me?”

You stared at him with fury in your eyes and tried to emphasize the words as much as possible to get him to an honest answer.

Loki just chuckled slightly.

“That´s quite the change of attitude, pet.” He replied.

You flushed in a deep shade of crimson.

“Stop calling me that.” You snapped.

“Alright, pumpkin.”

“Shut up.” You sounded annoyed. “And answer my questions.”

He still got this shit-eating grin on his lips, but now it turned into a growl.

“As you wish, princess. Right now, you and I are doing nothing, we are just sitting on the floor and talk. As to why you are here, that is pretty simple. You are the one thing that keeps your precious Avengers under my control. They won´t do anything to corrupt me, if I threaten to break your smooth little neck. Which leads us to your third question. I don´t want anything from you, you are just here to keep me safe.”

You were left speechless.

This is what it´s all about. I am his fucking health insurance.

“And I am supposed to sit here, in this prison, for how long now?”

“Well, either until I end those rebellious heroes or till they decide to join me, I personally prefer the latter, but who am I to decide.”

He shrugged his shoulders and got to his feet.

“Now, if you excuse me. I just wanted to stop by, to see, if everything is alright with you. As I have seen now, it is and I have to go back to business.”

He turned around and started to leave towards the golden holographic wall.

“Wait!” You exclaimed, not wanting him to leave you alone with so many questions.

You hastily scrambled to your feet. That didn´t do anything good for your head, even with the headache gone, you still felt a little bit dizzy.

The room began to spin around you and you felt face forwards towards the god.

Loki jumped a little bit in surprise, but was able to turn around smoothly and catch you, before you could harm yourself further.

“Easy there, kitten.”

“Not your kitten.” You mumbled

He chuckled and lifted you up from the ground to carry you over to the bed.

Gently laying you down on it, he made sure that your head rested comfortably on the cushion and that your whole body was covered with the blanket.

That was…nice. Loki, being nice? How comes that?

Your head started to form thoughts, but they were quickly dissembled and an overpowering tiredness blended out every other emotion you had.

You felt his presence still next to you and felt the urge to say something, anything, but all that left your mouth was a senseless mumble.

You heard him chuckle again, it sounded like it was far, far away.

What a nice sound. You thought.

Shut up. You immediately answered your thoughts.

Whatever.

You were too tired to continue this internal discussion for now and you slowly let the darkness pull you under.

P.O.V. Loki

He watched her drift into sleep again, after directly passing out on him.

What shall I do with you?

Taglist:

@starscreamloki

@emyhonny

[minnie-marvel]

Anna

A/N: alternately this was called paint stains. this was a nameblurb for @sunflowerannawrites!!! shes amazing and i love her. I have one more name blurb to post eventually and theres one other thing getting posted today. Nena i hope you like this i love you

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You sat perfectly still on your stool as you watched over the group of Avengers posing in front of you. You almost chuckled to yourself as you heard Tony Stark mutter at least a thousand complaints under his breath about not wanting to keep still. For a moment you thought you were being more patient than him.

There was another stroke of the brush as they all continued to pose for you. You leaned over your canvas from time to time to get a look at their individual faces.  You felt your stomach rumble and were suddenly pulled out of concentration. Man, you must have been hungry…when was the last time you ate? Breakfast? Yeah, you thought so. You had toast and egg whites, man that was delicious. You should add maybe a little bit more pepper to your eggs next time. Wait, you remembered to give your cats breakfast too right? Oh of course you did, you did it right before your walk with Motte. You hoped she’d be alright alone right now but then again your brother was supposed to be home so surely he was watching her for you. Oh man, remember when he came up to you the day before and showed you that hilarious vine of-

“S’cuse me, Anna was it?” Tony asked tapping his foot slightly while still standing stiffly in his pose. You felt your posture straighten up as he mentioned you. “Uh yes?” You asked softly.

“Are you almost done because I think if I stand still for a minute longer I will literally pass out,” he said through tight lips.

“I’m sorry everyone, why don’t we all take a break for an hour or so? That way you have enough time to recover?” You suggested. You saw the group of heroes relax visibly dropping their shoulders and expressions. They started to pile out together walking out of the doors of the large studio. Little did you know that two pairs of eyes were focused more on you rather than getting out of the room with the rest of their avenger coworkers.

Bucky Barnes and King T’challa both approached you from two different sides of the room eyes fixated on your crouching figure that hid behind your canvas and easel taking small gentle strokes as you began to work on some of the background.

“Excuse me,” they both surprisingly said at the same time causing you to look up slightly your brown eyes glancing between the two of them in shock. You didn’t think anyone would actually try to talk to you after all this was just a job. 

They looked at each other and both instantly knew. T’challa straightened his posture and held his hands politely behind himself while Bucky folded his arms over his chest tightly. Wait, was he trying to show off his pecks???

“Yes?” You asked wiping your face smudging a bit of green paint on your cheek. 

“I just wanted to thank you for taking the time to paint all of us,” Bucky said right after T’challa had opened up his mouth to speak. His eyes darted at the winter soldier and his expression scrunched slightly. He didn’t want to be petty in front of you but boy was the temptation there.

“I must say I am quite the fan of your work,” T’challa said sweetly. You blushed in embarrassment at the recognition of your work.

“Ah thank you!! That’s very kind of you to say!” You said setting your paintbrush on the easel to give both men your attention. “Painting is such a passion of-”

“Yeah, I’ve got to say sitting here and painting all this time must be really tiring, I’ve gotta give you credit,” Bucky agreed though shot a glare at T’challa. He, on the other hand, was not afraid to be petty.

“Well, you see the thing about painting is-”

“Well, I must say I admire her endurance to continue to paint even though people might rudely interrupt her,” T’challa said simply trying to keep his tone down.  Oh, this bitch was really trying to start something wasn’t he?

“Well your highness, as much as I’m sure you’d like to continue to admire Anna’s work I had something I needed to ask her.”

“That’s funny white wolf, because I also had something I needed to ask Miss Anna,” T’challa said his smirk showing now. 

“I’m sorry but I just wanted to say-” You tried to at least get more than half of a sentence in before you were cut off again.

“Anna, are you doing anything right now?” Bucky asked tilting his head to the side as he flashed you a charming smile.

“I’d love to take you out for a quick lunch,” T’challa suggested.  

Oh god, you finally knew what these two were playing at. You put your hands up to try and stop them before the poor men ended up dead on the floor. “wait, wait! I think you might have a misunderstanding!! You see I-”

“Anna darling, are you ready?” The voice of your boyfriend made your heart skip a beat.  T’challa and Bucky both exchanged another look but this time it was one of shame. 

Loki took you by your hands lifting them to his lips as he graced you with a kiss your cheeks flushing red as he did. 

“I must say I like the new look your sporting,” he smirked letting a finger trace over your cheek letting the green paint stain his finger. “How did you know green was my favorite color?” He joked.

You tried to hide your smile from him but to no avail. “I was wondering when you’d come along for lunch, what were you doing out here for so long?” he asked before his eyes suddenly looked over to T’challa and Bucky looking uninterested and unimpressed.

“I got a little distracted,” You said honestly letting one of your hands interlock your fingers with his. 

“Well my love, why don’t we get going so that I can finally spend time with you,” He leaned into your cheek kissing it before whispering softly in your ear. “Only being able to see you from so far away on that platform honestly was driving me mad,” he continued. 

“How I longed to have my arms around you again Anna,”  

You could have melted as you started to make your way out of the studio again. “Oh and gentlemen, I may be a reformed trickster but that doesn’t mean I won’t ‘accidentally’ slip a snake into your chambers for flirting with the love of my life,” He said slyly.

Your cheeks were on fire now. “Loki!!!” You whispered harshly. “Be nice!” you told him squeezing his hand. 

“I’m sorry my love,” he whispered back to you quietly planting a quick kiss on your cheek again. “I will try,”

T’challa and Bucky watched the two of you leave hand in hand and sighed together.

“I guess this is game over eh white wolf?”

“Shut up.”

[devilbat]

Shorty

*Loki x short reader! One shot

Warning fluff and Swearing

Note another one I did in a day. Hope you like it. *

Being short had more disadvantage then advantages. You hated being short you would always wear heels just to give you some hight. Well at least when you were around most of the Average, was when you felt your shortest. Especially around the gods well mostly the god of mischief he toward over you. You would hate to see how tall he was in his frost giant form. It didn’t help that you had a secret crush on the god. Scene he had join the Averages at the compound.

You had been the Averages assistant, before that you were Tony’s but he wanted you to also keep the team on schedules you were good on keeping Tony on track he felt that you would be useful for the team as well. You had been with Tony for 6 years for the Averages is was only 2 out of that 6. You even had your own room in the compound. But as soon as Thor and Loki came back Tony wanted someone to mostly keep an eye on Loki and keep him on a very tight schedule.

Tony knew for how short you were you were feisty and knew how to take care of yourself and would use any force necessary if anyone would mess with you. Hell on time you had a guy that would not leave you alone even after putting his ass on the floor with a left hook, that Steve had been teaching you how to defend yourself. But the guy wouldn’t take the hint. So one day at the coffee shop, and of course he was there but you had the Winter soldier with you. Even though Bucky was a sweet heart just his stare down could make anyone fear him. Though you had put him in his place one or twice.

~~

“Hey shorty.” he had said walking towards you. You hate that cat call. You acted like you hadn’t heard him. Bucky tried to hold his chuckle. Bucky has put his fleshed arm around your waist. Turning the both of you to face the man. Bucky had changed from nice sweet James Barns to the winter soldier in a flash.

“Doll face, is this the guy that would take no for an answer?” Bucky asked you. All you did was nod. Bucky raised an eyebrow towards that man. “Look dude I would appreciate you leaving my girl here alone in fact I would like it if you didn’t even look in her Direction. If you must inhabit the same coffee shop as she. If I catch wind that you’ve looked, talk or even breathed in her Direction. You will not like the end results and you do not want to find out what all I have done to people.” Bucky threatened the guy, while running his metal hand though his hair just to make sure the guy saw his arm. He had the fear of god in him.

~~

He had left you alone ever since that day with Bucky. Though You had thought to use Loki but you didn’t want the guy dead. At lest with Bucky you know how to somewhat control him like the others, Loki was a harder one to do so.

This was the reason Tony knew you could handle yourself with the god and his silver tongue.

As you got to know the god. You had seen why they called his the god of mischief. He would play easy pranks on people and some how found ways of blaming it on someone else. Though you knew better. From time to time you would find thing just out of your reach and not being able to find anything useable to stab in to get whatever it was down. But mysteriously the god would be there in the room with you.

~~

“Darling what in Valhalla are you doing?” Loki walked in on you in the living room standing on the back of couch. The couch wasn’t up against anything it was in the open as you reached up. You almost lost your foot when you heard Loki’s voice.

“What’s dose it look like I’m doing Loki?”

“What it looks like is your going to fall off the back of the couch and get hurt, that’s what it looks like your doing. Loki smirked walking up next to you

“Well if someone would stop putting my things where I can’t reach them. Then I wouldn’t be in this position now would I.” You grumbled. As you look at the god, seeing that you were now his hight. Loki only reaching up to grab your book with ease, his eye never leaving yours. He smirked at you as he walked off. “Oh my god, Loki! Give it here!” You demand. as you jumped off the couch following the god. Loki stopped and tuned to look down at you.

“You know I like it when you praise my name. It has a beautiful sound coming from those lips of yours. I think you need to say that more often when I’m around. Loki smirked as he turned to you.

“The only thing you’ll get out of these lips is me calling you a little shit.” You huffed. As you marched up to the god stoping only a few steps from you as you looked up at him.

“You know your kind of cute when you get all flustered. I think it’s even cutter the way your looking up at me like your ready to keel before me like the god I em. Your almost the right hight for that.” Loki teased.

“You would like that. Well sorry I’m not the one that believes in gods. I just know a Little shit that thinks he’s a god! Now give me the book!” You demanded looked at Loki unamused.

“Here you go princess.” He stated lowering the book to you as you went to grab it he lifted his hand back just out of your reach. “Well are you going to take it?” Oh Did you want to punch that smug face of his right now.

“Grow up loki. This isn’t funny. “ You hissed. Trying to grab it.

“What are you doing to poor y/n” Nat said as she walked into the room. Loki turned to her giving you the chance off kick Loki’s feet out from under him as he was currently trying to explain to Natasha what he was doing. This caught him completely off guard falling to the floor. With a smirk on your face you sat on Loki’s chest to hold him down as you grabbed your book. He looked up at you with shock on his face.

“Next time you should watch out for those short girls, they are closer to hell and can be very determined to get what they want.“ You fluttered your eyes at him. Giving him kissed on the cheek as you smile sweetly. Putting your hands on his chest You pushed yourself off of him and walked over to Natasha who had an almost proud look on her face. At the time you didn’t realize that Loki enjoyed that.

~~

After that he always seem to have some sorta of satisfied smirk on his face every time he saw you alone. And it annoyed the life out of you.

Today was your day off even though you hung out at the compound. But today everyone was out for a mission and you were enjoyed the quite. You had decided to wear yoga pants and a crop top it was comfortable as well, as it was kind of warm in the compound. You swear Tony like to turn the AC off when he thought everyone was gone but always forget that you were still there. Your hair was up in a messy bun. You looked like a mess but didn’t care cause no one would be back until tomorrow well that what you thought at lest.

You walked into the kitchen. You wanted coffee and something to eat. As you grab a bowl and coffee mug you searched for the little k-pods to the Coffee machine which were normally next to it but apparently not today. You Sighed as you started your search for them. You open one of the cupboard next to it and there they were up on the very top shelf of the tall cupboards.

“Really, really I’m going to kill someone.” You almost yelled in annoyance. Knowing quite well that no one was there to hear you. As you climbed up on the the counter. You hadn’t realized Loki walked in watching you with a smirk. He was enjoying the view of your ass as you got up to reach for the little pods. He strolled in coming up behind you.

“You know your ass is quit inviting when these panties say bite me on them. “ He purred to your ass you felt his cool breath on you. Making you yelp at the sudden closeness of him. You started to blush forgetting that you could see through the yoga pants.

“Loki.” You voice was almost shaky as you looked down at the god who looked up at you. “What are you doing here? I-I thought you left with the others on the mission.”

“Ah my darling, someone needed to stay behind to protect that cute butt of yours. I volunteered to do so. And might I add I’m enjoying both views currently.” You swear you heard a low growl come from him. As you noticed he was staring up at your shirt. Knowing he was getting a good look at what was under the shirt. Thank the gods for Bartlett’s. You instinctively crossed your arm trying to cover yourself feeling just a little to exposed. “Darling why so shy you look absolutely stunning all pink and not wearing much.” He licked his lips as his eyes racked over your form.

“Loki! “ You squeak. His smirked turned more devilish. He reached up to grab you coffee pod and set it on the counter. And with out warning he arms reached around your waist pulling you off the counter causing you to gasp. He slid you down almost against him you notice he was wearing his all black suit with a black tie. This man was going to kill you you were definitely need to go change. All you could do was stare at his suited chest you did not want to look up into those beautiful greenish blue eyes of his. He was already doing a number on you lower parts you didn’t want to make it worse. But all to soon his long fingers grasped your chin making you look up at him you still try to avoid eye contact.

“You know you make the cutest noises. I would love to hear what other types of sounds you would make if I started to bite you.” It was a low whisper as his breath brushed against your ear making you shiver and squeeze your thighs together. He pulled away from your ear to look at you, as you still trying to avoid his lust filled eyes.

“Loki I-I um need t-.” Your were cute off by his lips press softly on to yours, as he pushed you against the counter. He pulled his head away.

“Just what I thought you would taste like.” He growled. “You were saying pet?” You again tried to say something but you couldn’t. All you did was grab his tie pulling him back down to your lip as you rolled his tie around your hand holding him to you. Feeling his growl on your lips. Both of you were in the moment and didn’t hear the front door open as the kitchen was just set off to the side of the door.

“Oh My god! Really in the kitchen you know we have to eat in here. And reindeer games back away from MY assistant.” Tony voice hit you both you more Red then you were before even though Loki backed up from you. You found your self trying to stand behind him because of lack of clothes. Loki realize what you were doing and pushed you more behind him shielding you as your head popped out from behind Loki.

“ Um-uh your back early!” Was all you could get out. Looking at Tony shyly.

“Yeah well point break need his baby brother to do some kind of spell. So here I am coming to get reindeer games here. Glad I came got in time before he defiled my assistant. Now come along horns.” Tony mumbled as he started to feel awkward. Loki turned to you grabbing your hand bring it up to his lips as he kissed it lightly.

“We are not finished her my pet.” He said as he pulled away from your hand and walked off. You watch still in utter shock from what had just happened between the tow of you. As you never taking your eyes off of him as he left, within a blink of an eye he was in full armor with his helmet on looking back at you, he could tell what he was doing to you as you stood there sweating. He winked at you as he left. Yep he was going to be the death of you.

[transienturl]

Multiples of 8. Actually... to hell with it. Nonmultiples of 8.

Wow. You sure ask a lot of questions considering that you don’t even know who I am, person I don’t know and have never met before. Surely you don’t want a 3000 word post, right?

Oh, whoops. 

21. What are your bad habits?I’m going to edit this in later.

22. Where would you like to travel?I wish I was a polyglot so I could travel to more than ~15% of the world and meaningfully interact with it.

23. Do you have trust issues?Maybe? That sounds like the kind of question I’d like to ask a mental health professional. I feel, though, like the idea of having trust issues would have to be a common thread through how one interacts with a lot of people. Since I don’t interact with a lot of people, I think trying to make a general statement about how I would if I did is mostly guesswork.

25. What part of your body are you most uncomfortable with?The area that hurts when I have a cluster headache :| Besides things that fall into the medical issue category… meh, all of it is fine. If I could have a few transformations, which I would very much like, then I’d probably keep all of the bits I currently have for at least one form each. It’d be very mix-and-match. Except facial hair maybe; I think I could probably do without that.

26. What do you do when you wake up?Lately? Complain abut my headache.

27. Do you wish your skin was lighter or darker?No.

28. Who are you most comfortable around?

I just wanted an excuse to use this picture.

29. Have any of your ex’s told you they regret breaking up?No.

30. Do you ever want to get married?Sure? I guess so? On the one hand, it sounds nice, but on the other, it sounds like a lot of work if you do the whole party thing.

31. If your hair long enough for a pony tail?Very much so.

33. Spell your name with your chin.

 m aqrecus

34. Do you play sports? What sports?No. The closest I’ve come to playing sports is… probably going to a math competition.

35. Would you rather live without TV or music?For the most part, I would rather live without TV than live with TV.

36. Have you ever liked someone and never told them?How is this even a question? Is there anyone who has not done this? I call shenanigans.

37. What do you say during awkward silences?Hm. That depends a lot on the situation, but for the most part, I don’t find silences awkward.

38. Describe your dream girl/guy?Almost every dream I can find that I’ve written down is populated by (inaccurate) real people expys. One of them had the protagonists of Spy Kids. In one, I invented a family friend named Celeste (she was Chinese). Another only contains the notes “black female tech enthusiast” but I couldn’t remember what events were occurring with that characer when I woke up. If I had to guess, I’d say the generic female protagonists in my dreams tend to have shoulder-length brown hair, but that’s probably me projecting a mental picture onto a complete lack of remembered details or the details not existing in the dream.

Oh: one girl in my dream was at an alt-right rally with a gun, and she shot me by accident. She was super shaken up and afraid, and I forgave her. That sure would make an interesting… something.

39. What are your favorite stores to shop in?Ones that sell computer bits, with employees who don’t try to sell you them incompetently. Oh, wait, I’ve never experienced that.

41. Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance?Everyone? No. I don’t know what they’d be, but considering the vast range of possible scenarios, I’m positive there are a bunch where someone absolutely would not.

42. If your being extremely quiet what does it mean?Nothing. How quiet or talkative I am changes completely based on my best guess at what’s appropriate.

43. Do you smile at strangers?If they’re smiling. Or if they’re kids.

44. Trip to outer space or bottom of the ocean?Hm… that’s a tough one. I feel like the bottom of the ocean would be ultimately more interesting, but I like vast views and I’m a sucker for spacecraft.

45. What makes you get out of bed in the morning?If I don’t, I’ll get a headache.

46. What are you paranoid about?

Fire/explosions

Sharp items

Alcohol/drugs

Data loss

People getting upset with me

Data loss again

Embarrassment

Running out of battery

Failure

Complacency

People thinking I’m a fake-intellectual snob who does stuff like answer simple questions with “complacency”

No, seriously, data loss; don’t write anything in a form in a web browser, guys

Republicans

47. Have you ever been high?No.

49. Have you done anything recently that you hope nobody finds out about?Most things that I hope nobody finds out about are things I haven’t done recently that I should (e.g. hygiene).

Also, I’m almost at 5k words worth of… listen, see question 9.

50. What was the colour of the last hoodie you wore?Good question. I don’t remember.

51. Ever wished you were someone else?Well… if “someone else” includes “a better version of myself,” then absolutely, yes, every moment I’m alive. If it involves leaving myself behind completely… then honestly, no, not particularly. I have no doubts that being someone else could be more enjoyable and productive than being me, but a) that’s not who I am, and b) it’d be impossible to vet a potential choice. I can’t know enough about someone to be 100% convinced I’d want to be them, even with their full cooperation.

52. One thing you wish you could change about yourself?Just one thing? Damn, um…

How about this: I’d add a bunch of experiences to my past where I overcame failure and adversity and where opening myself up to new experiences resulted in success. Hopefully that’d work? And it’d empower me to fix the rest of the shit I want to change (and the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom etc etc) in a constructive fashion that I could then help others with?

53. Favourite makeup brand?n/a.

54. Favourite store?Capitalism is flawed. That’s not to say it’s categorically worse than any particular alternative, however, so um… 

Uh, screw it. The Cards Against Humanity store? I’ve never bought anything from them, but it seems like a unique take on… stores.

55. Favourite blog?Do the annotations under each post of the webcomic Leftover Soup count as a blog?

57. Favourite food?I’m going to answer this in a separate post.

58. Last thing you ate?Corn chips.

59. First thing you ate this morning?Corn chips.

60. Ever won a competition? For what?I won a poetry contest in high school. It was the result of a writing exercise of using your non-dominant hand to activate different pathways in your brain. I recommend it.

61. Been suspended/expelled? For what?Nope. I went on medical leave, then dropped out. Then I dropped out a bunch more times without the medical leave part.

62. Been arrested? For what?Nope.

63. Ever been in love? Mhmm.

65. Are you hungry right now?A little.

66. Do you like your tumblr friends more than your real friends?I take issue with the premise.

Actually, I guess I take issue with the premise in multiple ways… I have no idea if anyone whom I think of as a friend thinks of me the same way in return, so the answer might well be “not applicable.”

67. Facebook or Twitter?Well… they serve different purposes. I’d rather have them both (just without algorithmic feeds or ads-that-look-like-content.)

68. Twitter or Tumblr?Again, they serve different purposes.

69. Are you watching tv right now?No.

70. Names of your bestfriends? See 66.

71. Craving something? What?Community. Specifically, a community of learners, as John Green would say.

73. Do you sleep with stuffed animals?Yep!

74. How many stuffed animals do you think you have?My childhood ones are in boxes. Probably 50+.

75. Favourite animal?To be? Human. Presumably.

To have as a pet? Maybe cat, but to be honest, I bet I’d be just as into lots of other pet types.

Overall? I couldn’t pick one.

76. What colour is your underwear?Plaid.

77. Chocolate or Vanilla?Vanilla, if I had to pick. Chocolate is less versatile.

78. Favourite ice cream flavour?Banana, strawberry, cream, vanilla. Plenty I’m probably forgetting. I remember liking Cherry Garcia.

79. What colour shirt are you wearing?Red.

81. Favourite tv show?The New Adventures of Winnie the Pooh. (Also, see 119.)

82. Favourite movie?I always go with Spirited Away. (Also, see 119.)

83. Mean Girls or Mean Girls 2?n/a

84. Mean Girls or 21 Jump Street?n/a

85. Favourite character from Mean Girls?n/a

86. Favourite character from Finding Nemo?Uhh… Squirt, maybe? I guess? I dunno… it wasn’t a movie full of strong characters, in my opinion.

87. First person you talked to today?My mom.

89. Name a person you hate?Hate is a strong word to apply to a person, as opposed to a person’s actions. I find it hard not to try and understand why people do bad things, and subsequently find it hard to hate people for taking actions that I understand the reasoning for. Sometimes that doesn’t quite work, however. Thus: incompetent mental health professionals. Not that I don’t have sympathy for them, but still.

90. Name a person you love?

I just wanted an excuse to use this picture twice.

91. Is there anyone you want to punch in the face right now?Go find me an abusive ICE agent and I’ll consider it. I’m sure they have their reasons for what they do, and I definitely wouldn’t do it, but like, damn, people, what the actual fuck is wrong with you?

92. In a fight with someone?Mitch McConnell. Vote, people.

93. How many sweatpants do you have?One. Or rather, one pair. Does that make it two? Pants are weird.

94. How many sweaters/hoodies do you have?Probably around 5.

95. Last movie you watched?…I don’t actually remember.

97. Favourite actor?Uhhh… hm. I can’t think of any, like, film or stage actors I even have an opinion on. Alton Brown is actually an actor, come to think of it. Not super high on him as a person, necessarily, but he’s certainly damn good at his job. Tom Hiddleston as Loki is pretty remarkable, too.

98. Do you tan a lot?I think I tan an average amount? I’m not really sure. What’s sun?

99. Have any pets?Nope!

100. How are you feeling?Tired.

101. Do you type fast?Nope. I have to look at the keyboard and I only use 6 fingers total. Yes, I am probably the tech enthusiast who is the worst typist.

102. Do you regret anything from your past?Yes.

103. Can you spell well?For the most part. Actually… I’m not sure what the average is for spelling ability, so could be yes, could be no. I think I can tell when the vast majority of words are spelled incorrectly, but I’m accustomed to spellcheck/google so my ability to correct them without help is limited.

105. Ever been to a bonfire party?I’ve been to parties where fires were made, so I guess so? There might be more to it than that, I dunno.

106. Ever broken someone’s heart?When I was younger, and pining over the idea of ever having any relationship, I thought about it a lot, wondering what it’d be like. In the sort of morbid curiosity way, y’know what I mean? Well, it sucks just as much as you figured, younger self.

107. Have you ever been on a horse?Nope, I’d like to, though.

108. What should you be doing?

Working on my fanfic (at 7k words so far!)

Finishing a bunch of disk imaging stuff to make my backups more robust

Signing up to volunteer at a nonprofit that trains the homeless and disadvantaged to prepare food, helping them get jobs and feeding homeless shelters

Going back to college

Political activism

Seeing an oral surgeon to get my wisdom teeth probably removed

Finishing a lot of interesting blog post drafts

Deleting my folder of nsfw fiction drafts

Therapy

Recording some let’s plays, and maybe working toward like a mini podcast or something

Closing some of the 195 browser tabs I have open

109. Is something irritating you right now?Yes: that those who can teach the lessons of how to live a fulfilling and productive life are not effectively connected with those who need those lessons.

And also around 700 other things.

110. Have you ever liked someone so much it hurt?Hurt… where? I’m going to go with “no,” on the principle that I don’t feel it quite that way.

111. Do you have trust issues?See question 23.

113. What was your childhood nickname?n/a

114. Have you ever been out of your province/state?Yep.

115. Do you play the Wii?No, I don’t have any consoles.

116. Are you listening to music right now?No.

117. Do you like chicken noodle soup?Sure. It’s pretty good. Cook the whole chicken.

118. Do you like Chinese food?Yes. The real stuff, preferably. (I’m ethnically Chinese, if you weren’t aware. See also: my next post, where I list my favorite foods.)

119. Favourite book?Are webcomics books? No? Damn.

I’m going to pull the same thing I always do with the favorite movie and favorite tv show questions and pick a work that I haven’t experienced since half my life ago, but remember sufficiently to consider changing that: Summerland, by Michael Chabon.

Edit from later: Actually, see question 150 for the real answer.

121. Are you mean?I don’t think so. I feel like I might be vindictive, acerbic, and sometimes downright hostile, though.

122. Is cheating ever okay?That depends how you define “okay.” Okay is a funny word. It can mean as little as “not the end of the world,” in which case sure, or as much as “perfectly fine,” in which case… I think it’s a no, by definition. If a behavior was 100% fine, I don’t think anyone would call it cheating.

This applies to multiple definitions of “cheating.”

123. Can you keep white shoes clean?If… there was a reason to, sure, I imagine so.

124. Do you believe in love at first sight?No. I believe in attraction at first sight that seamlessly transitions into love, but no.

125. Do you believe in true love?I have no idea what most people take “true love” to mean, so honestly, I’m going to go with no. Or, I guess, I look at the term as making a distinction between true and false love? That doesn’t really make the question make sense.

126. Are you currently bored?No, to the contrary, I have something I want to work on (fanfic) but I’m too tired to do it, which seems like the opposite of bored.

127. What makes you happy?

The happiness of others.

Making things. That can be fiction, words of analysis, visualizations of data (I have many spreadsheets), image edit memes, the occasional video, Twitter commentary, or, yes, ask posts.

Well-designed and/or well-engineered, elegant things.

Efficiency.

Justice. (By which I actually mean support for the wronged, not punishment for the wrongdoer. The second may or may not be warranted, but either way I don’t take particular pleasure in it.)

Forgetting about the reasons I should not be happy, for a little while. (This is not a good thing, but I cannot deny it is a true answer to the question.)

129. What your zodiac sign?Pisces.

130. Do you like subway?I like subways. I think Subway food is fine.

131. Your bestfriend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do?Again, opposite gender isn’t exactly a thing.

132. Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with?Anyone who read my answer to question 10.

133. Favourite lyrics right now?

Enough—Anne Hills

134. Can you count to one million?No, Jimmy, it’s “may you count to one million.”

Wait, what?

135. Dumbest lie you ever told?“Nah, I really think I’m neurotypical.” To myself, about twice a day.

137. How tall are you?5½ feet or so.

138. Curly or Straight hair?What do I have? Straight. What would I pick to have? Straight, I guess. What would I pick in someone I was attracted to (which I presume is the intention of the question)? Whatever they liked/looked good with.

139. Brunette or Blonde?Either! (Well, neither, for myself.)

140. Summer or Winter?There is no darkness without the dawn etc etc.

141. Night or Day?There is no darkness without the dawn etc etc.

142. Favourite month?Can’t say I have a preference.

143. Are you a vegetarian?I really probably should be, considering I have moral and practical objections to eating meat. At the moment, though, no. 

145. Tea or Coffee?Neither/tea.

146. Was today a good day?It hasn’t really started yet.

147. Mars or Snickers?I can’t remember eating either.

148. What’s your favourite quote?

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,Courage to change the things I can,And wisdom to know the difference.

149. Do you believe in ghosts?Yes. They can do anything they put their minds to!

150. Get the closest book next to you, open it to page 42, what’s the first line on that page?

The most beautiful things in life are unexpected, Clara.

- What the Moon Saw, by Laura Resau

…oh. Wait. I take it back: that’s my favorite book. I had forgotten about that book.

[ezatluba]

The tiger next door: America’s backyard big cats

There are more tigers in American gardens than there are left in the wild. Alex Hannaford meets the owners who live cheek by jowl with their pets, and also those ensuring the big cats are treated without cruelty

Alex Hannaford

10 Nov 2019

It was the sort of headline impossible to scroll past: “Pot Smokers Find Caged Tiger in Abandoned Houston House, Weren’t Hallucinating: Police.” Last February, a group of people had snuck into a deserted house in Texas’s largest city to smoke marijuana when they stumbled upon a full-grown tiger in a cage – a cage secured by just a nylon strap and a screwdriver. Sergeant Jason Alderete of Houston Police Department’s animal cruelty unit, later told a local TV station: “It wasn’t the effects of the drugs. There was an actual tiger!” The animal was given a name, Loki, and sent to an animal sanctuary in the country, run by the Humane Society of the United States. You’d be forgiven for thinking Loki’s experience was an isolated incident – it isn’t.

An oft-quoted statistic is that there are more tigers in American back yards than there are left in the wild. According to the US Fish & Wildlife Service, there are between 3,200 and 3,500 tigers remaining in the wild globally. By some estimates there are 5,000 in captivity in the US, though there might be more. The truth is we have little idea how many there are in American ranches, unlicensed zoos, apartments, truck stops and private breeding facilities, due to a mishmash of state, federal and county laws governing their ownership.

According to the World Wildlife Fund, only 6% of America’s captive tiger population lives in zoos and facilities accredited by the Association of Zoos & Aquariums; the rest are in private hands. Some are regulated by the US Department of Agriculture and others by state laws, but some are not regulated at all. “In some states, it is easier to buy a tiger than to adopt a dog from a local animal shelter,” says the WWF.

In Texas, which lets each of its 254 counties regulate the ownership of dangerous wild animals, it’s hard to accurately gauge how many there are. In a state that prides itself on promoting individual freedoms, like openly carrying AR-15 semi-automatic rifles or bringing concealed handguns on to university campuses, it’s perhaps not surprising that owning a tiger is considered (by some) to be a God-given right.

The deplorable conditions in which Loki was found illustrate the fact that these “rights” can come at a cost. He was discovered in a 5ft x 3ft cage in the dark garage of the abandoned home. The cage’s floor was made of plywood. It was three months before police arrested his owner, a 24-year-old woman named Brittany Garza, who was taken into custody and charged with animal cruelty. She responded that she was in the process of relocating and had not abandoned the animal, as it had food and water.

Katie Jarl, the Humane Society’s southwest regional director, says there have been numerous similar incidents. In 2016, police in Conroe, a town north of Houston, received reports of a tiger roaming a residential neighbourhoodafter it escaped from someone’s back yard. “No one knew about them,” she says. “They were completely off the map.”

These animals are extremely complex and powerful and can kill a human being with a swipe of their paw

In 2009, a 330lb tiger escaped from its enclosure in Ingram, Texas, and was found in a 79-year-old woman’s back yard. In 2007, a one-year-old tiger “wearing a makeshift lead” was found shot dead in a wooded area off the motorway in Dallas. In 2003, in another Dallas suburb, a motorist spotted a four-month-old tiger roaming the side of the road. In 2001, a three-year-old boy was killed by one of his relative’s three pet tigers in Lee County, Texas. And in 2000, animal control officers near Houston spent three hours searching for a tiger that had escaped from a garden cage while its owners were out of town. That same year, in Channelview, Texas, a three-year-old boy had his arm ripped off by his uncle’s 400lb pet.

As for Loki, Jarl says a law-enforcement source of hers outside the city had got in touch to say the authorities had known about Loki’s owner for a long time. “She had been raising cubs in her home for years,” Jarl says, “in a county where there were no restrictions.”

This year, two state legislators filed bills aimed at prohibiting the private ownership of “dangerous wild animals”. But this is Texas, where the private ownership of pretty much everything is sacrosanct, and neither bill became law. There was “passionate testimony” on both sides of the debate, says the assistant to one of the legislators involved.

According to one conservation charity, four states (Alabama, Nevada, North Carolina and Wisconsin) do not regulate the private ownership of exotic pets at all. Brittany Peet, director of Captive Animal Law Enforcement for People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (Peta), says there are a “patchwork of laws” regulating the possession of big cats. “And you can usually get around those laws by applying for a United States Department of Agriculture (USDA) exhibitor’s licence,” she says. “It’s as simple as filling out an application and writing a cheque for $100. The regulations are very minimal – as long as you have a cage where the animal can fully stand up and turn around you shouldn’t have a problem getting a licence.

“Everyone should be terrified and shocked by this,” Peet adds. “These animals are extremely complex and powerful and can kill a human being with a swipe of their paw. People keeping tigers in back yards are not experts. They don’t know what they’re doing, and they’re not providing these animals with enrichment and stimulation that they need in order to live relatively normal lives in captivity.”

Bill Rathburn disagrees. He believes he provided the seven tigers that once lived on his private, 50-acre ranch 80 miles east of Dallas, with more than enough enrichment and stimulation. For more than two decades, Rathburn and his now ex-wife Lou raised the animals from cubs. For the Rathburns, the tigers were a surrogate family.

I interview Rathburn over the phone and later he sends me a photo of himself and Raja, the first tiger he and his wife bought. The pair are nose to nose inside its cage. “That was the relationship I had with him,” he says. “I’m not a reckless person and wouldn’t have gone into the cage with him if I hadn’t raised him, or knew I’d be safe doing it. He was the most loving animal from the day we got him to the day he died.”

Not everyone in the Rathburns’ neighbourhood shared their enthusiasm. “Tiger sanctuary has residents growling,” read one local headline.

Rathburn is a former deputy chief of the Los Angeles Police Department and chief of police of the Dallas Police Department. In 1996 he was director of security for the summer Olympic Games, in Atlanta. It was while he was there that Lou bought their first tiger. Rathburn admits to feeling “kind of overwhelmed” initially, thinking about all the work and expense that would inevitably go into raising it. But when he came home he says he “immediately fell in love”.

The following year the couple bought two more tiger cubs “from a guy who had tigers in the back yard of his house in Houston”. Rathburn and his wife raised the cubs in their house. They installed a heavy mesh screen door “so they couldn’t get out of the pantry and wander round the house at night”. Outside, they constructed a cage complex. “If you saw it,” he says, “you’d realise it was a pretty good life for a tiger: a 10,000sqft play area with grass, trees and bushes, so they could run, play, hide, and chew on grass to help their digestive system.”

Raja lived to be 21. “He was unsteady on his feet towards the end,” Rathburn says. “I knew it was time to put him down. The vet came round and agreed. I was crying like a baby. It broke my heart.” Their second animal developed a tumour on her spine. When she died, Lou insisted on having her skin made into a rug. “And after we got divorced I ended up with the rug,” Rathburn says. “I have it over a chest in my bedroom, and it’s wonderful way to remember her. I talk to her once in a while.”

Eventually, he says, a neighbour complained to county officials about what they described as a growing tiger problem next door. “He got county officials upset, and two votes can sway an election in a rural area. So the county commissioners weren’t willing to extend my permit.”

I’m not a reckless person and wouldn’t have gone into the cage with him if I hadn’t raised him, or knew I’d be safe

Rathburn believes in regulation. “There should be adequate confinement areas, [and regulation] protecting animals and protecting people who might be injured by them.” But, he says, he stands by the rights of individuals to own big cats.

While this might sound incredible to someone in the UK, Rathburn’s sense of entitlement – this rugged individualism that says the government shouldn’t interfere with an individual’s right to own pretty much whatever they want – runs deep in America.

Marcus Cook has owned and worked with big cats since the early 1990s. Back then he was working for a zoo in south Texas, and when the owners retired and closed their business Cook adopted a couple of black leopards. “Anyone who says they can tame one is unrealistic,” he tells me by phone one morning from his home in Kaufman, Texas. “But they’re handleable.”

Cook says he’s owned everything “from small cats, like cougars, to lions, tigers, leopards and jaguars. The big guys.” He says his own firm, Zoocats, began as a hobby in 1995 and grew from there. He began to take the animals on the road around the US – to schools and fairs and temporary exhibits. Cook says it was all about education – “creating an entertaining wow factor” – but his critics say he was ruthlessly exploiting the animals for gain. He has been accused of numerous animal welfare violations, subjected to various complaints, and issued citations over the years.

Loki, the tiger rescued from the Houston garage, was taken to a vast ranch in Murchison, Texas, run by the Humane Society. Murchison, population 594, is a rural farming community 70 miles southeast of Dallas. The Cleveland Amory Black Beauty Ranch is situated discreetly, a few miles outside town, next to a remote country lane. You can see horses and cattle grazing in fields next to the road, but none of the exotic animals that also live here.

We feed him 8lb of food a day – humanely raised beef, turkey, large rats and rabbits

Noelle Almrud, ranch director, meets me at the main office and we climb into a truck to drive to the enclosures at the back of the ranch that house its two tigers. It’s not unlike a wildlife park, although there are no gawking tourists here and the enclosures are bigger. Loki lives in a quarter-acre fenced area, but he rotates each week from this into a three-acre enclosure next door. Both have an abundance of willows and oaks to provide shade.

As we walk towards the fence, Loki gallops over and makes a breathy snort that Almrud says is known as “chuffing” and signals affection. He rubs himself against the wire enclosure before running back to his water trough and jumping in. “He’s acclimated really well,” she tells me. “We feed him 8lb of food a day – humanely raised beef, turkey, large rats, or rabbits and supplements – six days a week, then he has a day of fasting, as he would in the wild.”

Two years ago, Almrud helped found the Big Cat Sanctuary Alliance, a network of reputable big cat sanctuaries whose mission was to strengthen the regulation of big cats in the US and get conservation facilities to work together to place rescue animals. But they face a big challenge, she explains: “Roadside zoos need shutting down, but where do you put all the animals? You couldn’t re-house all the tigers currently in roadside zoos in America. We need more money and more facilities. In a perfect world,” she says, “I’d like to be put out of business.”

Judging by the Texan appetite for big cats, that won’t be happening anytime soon.

[smokeybrandreviews]

Smokey brand Movie Reviews: Marvel’s Revengers

This review is a few weeks in the making. I actually saw Thor: Ragnarok the day it came out but i wanted to wait to review it. I was curious how i would feel about it after seeing Justice League. The fact that the architect of Marvel’s Phase One was brought in to “fix” what Snyder had produced was kind of ill so i wanted to see if i could discern that Marvel flavor in DC’s flick better after taking in Thor and having time to ponder those aspects altogether. I opted to take in Ragnarok a second time today because i figured out that i liked it more than i liked Justice League. Even with all of the good in that flick; Flash, Wondy, the levity, Aquaman, Cyborg sort of, i just found myself watching a third tier Marvel outing. Like, i left thee theater feeling like i watched Avenger 3 and it was worse than Age Of Ultron. Ultron wasn’t great but it was decent ,JL wasn’t decent. After watching Ragnarok a second time, my initial reaction was justified For both films. Thor: Ragnarok is a great movie and Justice League is a pale imitation of what makes Ragnarok great. I might write a piece later comparing the two, elaborating on my i think JL to be such a hollow abstraction of Ragnarok, and the Marvel formula overall, but this little essay is going to be a straight review of Ragnarok. Spoilers: Is Gud. Go see that sh*t. Again. But first, can we just appreciate the utter bad ass beauty of Tessa Thompson?

Ol’ girl was goddamn outstanding in a movie full of outstanding and she did while being bad-ass, beautiful, and brilliant. Hats off, madame, hats off. Swag on fleek, as the kids say.

The Best

Tessa Thompson killed as Brunnhilde. And, yes, she has a name, not a number. She’s Brunnhilde the Valkyrie or just Valkyrie. and Tess OWNED that sh*t, manq!

Speaking of ownage, can we just stop and appreciate Hela? Cate Blanchett embodied this roll and i loved every minute of it. I’ve always loved Hela. I thought she never got her due in the comics, with the exceptions of some solid f*cking stories (check out little loki and Leah’s adventure or Ultimate Hela, off the top of my head) so to see such a prestigious actor take on such an iconic character with respect, understand, and general awesomeness was spectacular. She’s my second favorite MCU villain after Keaton’s Vulture and i mean the closet of seconds.

Speaking of my beautiful and deadly Hela, i like the liberties they took with her history here. Don’t misunderstand, 616 Hela will always have a special place in my heart by her cinema appearance, an amalgamation of Gor the God Butcher, Angela Odinsdottir, (yes, that’s Angela’s guv’ment name now) and Hela Lokisdottir, (lookit me using comic logic to discern Hela’s last name) i was pretty okay with how she turned out overall. I mean, come on, looking over that last clusterf*ck of words, you’d think the character, herself, would be a mess but she’s not. She’s just plain dope. Dope and hot. and deadly. Deadly, dope, and hot.

How can Jeff Goldblum not be at the top of this list with the other two standouts in this flick? Yo, anytime you add Ian Malcolm to anything, it’s immediately +5 for snark and +20 for tight. Jeff, with all his Goldblumisms, just makes everything better. He’s like cinema MSG!

I loved the diversity in this flick. Beautiful, black, female, lead that happens to not only best the “Lord of Thunder and God of Mischief but the hulk, too? Check. Female antagonist that is arguably the best antagonist Marvel has ever produced? Check. Bad ass warrior monk who can see anywhere into the universe and happens to be black, too? Check. Respect and reverence for the multi-cultures represented by the majority of the cast while not feeling like pandering or false SJW placation? Check. Visionary, Academy award nominated, director who happens to be half Maori out here throwing his big cinematic dick about all over Disney’s Marvelscape? Check. Marvel is getting this sh*t right in their films and while i think Homecoming did diversity better, Thor is a damn fine continuance in that direction.

This movie was beautiful. It was like walking into a Jack Kirby comic from the 70s. I half expected a f*cking Eternal or Celestial to jump out of the screen at me. I thought Doctor strange had a heavy visual aesthetic but Ragnarok definitely pressed it for that title.

The Better

Taika Waititi is getting much better at his craft. I can’t say this is a perfect movie but it’s a damn good one. There are still some pacing issues and some rather interest plot points from the previous outings **cough**JaneFosterandLadySif**cough** that were just glossed over but i think they tightened the narrative overall. a better example would be the sudden injection, and that’s what it felt like actually, of Hela. That was more than sudden and jarring. That sloppy execution set me off a little, i guess, and that’s on the direction.

But dat Soundtrack, tho!

Mark Ruffalo turns in another spectacular, scene stealing, performance as Bruce Banner. Cat is kind perfect for this role and it boggles my mind that it took three tries to get that right. Marvel is usually really good at casting.Go figure.

Chris Hemsworth and Tom Hiddleston turn in their best performances as the Odinson boys and i’m glad to see a little closure with their arc. Seeing Thor actually mature and Loki come full circle was awesome. As a older brother, i identified with their overall growth closely. It was adorable and brotherly. Also, did anyone else notice how hot Hiddles was in that suit. I’m not gay but goddamn, you gotta give the brotha his credit where it’s due. He wore the f*ck out of that ensemble!

It was dope to see Heimdall get some finally. Cat out here using the Bifrost key to just mow down nameless asshole zombie Asgardians while saving basically the entire world, single-handedly. I saw a meme that referred to him as black Jesus and i can’t imagine a better way to sum his character up. Apparently, Idris Elba does have a dope pair of sandals so, you know, that’s a thing.

The visuals on Sakarr were inspired. i adored the textures and lived in feel of that world. It felt like something Jeff Goldblum would lord over. Muspelheim was just as majestic as Niflheim from the original Thor.

But dat Thorforce, tho. I know it was lightning or thunder or whatever but that sh*t was the goddamn Thorforce, son. Please see Rune Thor or King Thor and get at me, bro.

The Good

The supporting cast was legit. I thought Korg and Miek were just the right amount of hilarious with the right amount of exposure. I wanted more but i wasn’t hurting that i didn’t get more, you know? I think a one-shot would be fun for those two.

The Visual effects were on point. Nothing looked unfinished and this was the first time we really gt a great look at The Hulk. That whole gladiator scene was epic as sh*t! i wish it were longer but, you know, WWH can swing back around and address that. I mean, i’d love to see how Doug bit the dust, particularly considering New Doug basically destabilized and overthrew the entire social system. Also, Fenrir was cool as sh*t.

The Hulk was dope. Like, as a character, dope. Seeing him come into his own over his two year imprisonment of Banner was awesome. I said this before and i’ll say it again, i needs that WWH movie now. How can you gloss over that two year period? The f*ck was he doing in that time? How dope was he while he was winning?? i need to know, Marvel! I NEED TO KNOW!!

Sir Anthony Hopkins and future Sir Benedict Cumberbatch showed up and did what they do. They were short cameos but their respective skill in their craft carried their respective screen presences effortlessly. I will miss Odin though. He was pretty legit anytime he was onscreen. And the chemistry he had with Hemsworth has gotten considerably better. Is a far cry from literally all of the complaints he had for kid when they made the first Thor flick, all those years ago. Growth is good, manq.

But dat Fenrir, tho.

The Eh

Where the f*ck was Sif? i loved Sif. Why she gone, bro? She obviously wasn’t killed by Hela cuz she was nowhere near Asgard so i assume she’s on Midgar or whatever so why no Sif? Not even a mention, you know? I’d say this was “Bad” but it was more a discomfort than a slight.

Hela’s return from and general machinations of her banishment/imprisonment was kind of swampy. It was never clear how Odin put her away or how she knew where he was when he died. I imagine Magic or f*cking Magnets or some sh*t but still. Shenanigans.

Hela sacked the Warriors Three like they were lunches. I thought that was ridiculous but whatever. They needed a way to portray Hela’s dopenesss but you’re telling me Thor or Heimdall didn’t mourn their bros? that sh*t was whack, son!

Karl Urban was okay as Scourge. Like, his introduction was dope. That little bit when Thor returned from Muspelheim was chill as sh*t but after that? Meh. Kid was kind of an irredeemable weenie and a total plot throw away. Hela didn’t need him for sh*t. Still, it’s good to see Bones branching out. Maybe this will get him enough clout to get Dredd Two made. I want my Judge Death goddamit! 

The Verdict

I adored Ragnarok. I think it’s easily one of the better Marvel films out there. It’s effortlessly the second best of the Marvel films released this year (I give Homecoming that distinction because i’m a giant Spider-Man fanboy and Logan is technically a Fox property or that thing would DEFINITELY get the “Best of the year” nod) and has left the MCU in a very intriguing place. As a direct lead in to Infinity War, i am satisfied. Satisfied and, as the kids say, crazy thirsty for what’s next. Taika Waititi has elevated this franchise from the worst of the MCU into talks as part of the best with one movie and that’s a goddamn feat. While i feel like World War Hulk should have been it’s own film, it’s own movie, i’m less frustrated by it being just a part of Ragnorok’s overall vision. Taika’s execution of that vision was just so deftly executed, none of that felt tacked on. It never weighed down the overall plot or narrative.Besides, there’s a two year gap there. We can always go back and see how Hulk became The Champion with a prequel. or something. Anything to get my girl Tessa back on that MCU screen, ya dig? Ma looked good in them silvers and blues.

Overall, i thought this was a solid film. There are some pacing issues and a few shots were a bit jarring; i thought the sudden appearance of that Norway scene was a bit heavy handed, but Sir Anthony Hopkins kind of saved that situation a little bit. Watching that guy act is a goddamn blessing. At the end of the day, this was an amazing film that entertained, regaled, and endeared. I adore the additions of Tessa Thompson and Jeff Goldblum and hope we see more of them going forward. This was a diverse, brilliant, fun, entertaining, film that deserves all of the accolades it’s received as well as multiple viewings by the audience. It kind of sh*t’s all over Justice League so go see Ragnarok again instead.

[imagine-loki]

of numbers and strange friendships

TITLE: Of Numbers and Strange Friendships CHAPTER NO./ONE SHOT: 9/? AUTHOR: nekoamamori ORIGINAL IMAGINE: Imagine Loki being friends with Peter Parker RATING: T NOTES/WARNINGS: None so far.  Also on Ao3 here

“Hey, Loki,” Peter greeted Loki as he came into the common room of the tower, tossing his school bag on the couch carelessly.  It had been over a week since Loki had been invited over to family dinner.  Loki was still surprised ever time when Peter no longer called him ‘Mr.’ He kept waiting for the formality to come back and it never did.  

He didn’t understand why it never came back.

And he couldn’t help being pleased by the development.

Even though Loki was having a bad day. 

“What’s the number today?” Peter asked as he fwumped comfortably onto the couch, pulling out web fluid notes to go over with Loki to see if they could improve the formula.

“Six,” Loki replied, then paused, considering the day he was having with Stark being an ass.  “And a half,”

Stark huffed from nearby and rolled his eyes.  He was the one getting on Loki’s nerves today.  He kept poking and prodding at Loki’s temper, especially right before Peter was due to arrive.  “Why?  How are they friends? And how do we make it stop?” He whined.  He wanted Peter away from Loki’s bad influence.

Thor clapped Stark on the shoulder.  “Fear not, Man of Iron.  The friendship is good for both of them.  As to how,” Thor shrugged “Relatively speaking, they are of an age,”

“What?!? He’s like a thousand years old and the kid is 15!” Stark protested.

Thor laughed.  “We live for roughly five thousand years.  By Midgardian standards, Loki would be roughly a few years older than the young spider, but not unreasonably so for them to be friends,”

Peter smirked and got to his feet, donning his Spiderman suit a moment later.  He took Loki’s hand to haul him to his feet.  “C’mon, let’s go patrol,” he told Loki and dragged him out of the tower while Loki laughed and let his armor shimmer into place.

They patrolled for petty crime, which was ridiculous and silly.  And so… petty.  And yet, it made Peter so happy to help normal everyday people with normal everyday problems.  It wasn’t fighting Hydra, monsters, and aliens.  It was stopping robbers and pickpockets.  Helping retrieve cats from trees.  There was always some petty crime going on in New York, so they always found something to do.

Loki didn’t mind helping out especially since, if he was having a bad day especially, Peter wouldn’t say anything if he had a little fun with his victims when they left them for the police.  Peter did insist on rules about Loki’s fun, which made it slightly less enjoyable, but even he had to admit the rules were… reasonable.  Loki wasn’t allowed to permanently harm, disfigure, or kill, any of the criminals.

So Loki had to settle for mischief and embarrassment.  

Which led to a LOT of naked webbed up criminals with magically dyed hair and mustaches drawn on with sharpie.  The notes of their crimes were very conveniently placed, but the criminals were thoroughly embarrassed and Loki had his fun.

*

One Monday, Peter didn’t come by after school.  That wasn’t too strange.  Peter didn’t come by every day.

Just basically every day.

In fact, Loki couldn’t remember a day that Peter hadn’t come by at least for a minute to grab a bite to eat.  The fridge was always full and growing boys on every realm were starving creatures.

But…

Had Peter seemed off the last couple of days?

Had Loki not noticed something?

It was just a day, surely it was nothing.

*

Peter didn’t come by Tuesday either.  

Loki tried not to sound worried when he asked if anyone had seen the brat.  They told him that they hadn’t, but they were sure it was nothing to worry about.

Stark said he’d needed the day off for something. 

*

On Wednesday, Loki actually got his phone out and texted the boy.  <Are you alright, arachnid?>

There was no response

*

On Thursday, Loki teleported outside of Aunt May’s apartment and knocked on the door politely.

Then less politely.

Then pounded on the door.

And then broke Aunt May’s no teleportation rule and teleported into the apartment. 

It was empty, though there should have been someone home at that hour.

*

On Friday, Loki risked breaking Peter’s trust.  He was deeply concerned about his friend.  He didn’t tell anyone about what he was planning, but Thor knew he was up to something.  “Brother, whatever you are planning, do not.  The spider child will not appreciate you prying into his private matters.  He would tell us what is going on if he wishes for us to know,”

“What if something has happened to him? What if he is injured or worse? No one has heard from him in days and he is part of this team!” Loki replied hotly.  He was past caring that they would think him a sentimental fool.  His friend was missing.

“Stark said the child is not injured,”

“Stark has heard from him?!” Loki demanded and before Thor could reply went to confront Stark as to the location of his brat.  Thor followed, concerned about his brother’s behavior.

Stark was in the common room with the rest of the team.  “Stark,” Loki snarled to get Stark’s attention.  He looked up from the Jarvis screen he’d been working on.  

“What’dya want, Reindeer Games?”

“You know where the little spider is?” Loki demanded and tried to keep the desperation for answers from his voice.

Stark nodded and looked like he had a sarcastic comment prepared, but he must’ve caught the desperate gleam in Loki’s eyes.  “He’s been sick.  At the hospital. They just sent him home today.  He should be there by now,”

The hospital?

But Midgardians needed to be desperately ill to go there.

Especially Midgardians like Peter who did not have much money.

Without a word Loki teleported directly outside of Aunt May’s apartment.  It took every ounce of his willpower not to teleport directly inside.  He knocked politely at the door.  It took a minute and he heard someone moving around before Aunt May opened the door.  “Loki… Peter isn’t feeling well,” she tells him and tries to close the door again. 

Loki held it open.  “Please?  Please let me see him. We’ve been-” he shook his head. “I have been so worried about him,” he admitted the genuine care he felt for the arachnid and let Aunt May see how worried he’d been.

She sighed and opened the door.  “Alright, but don’t pressure him if he’s not up to company,” she told him firmly.  Sometimes she was so easily bowled over by Loki’s charm.  At other times she treated him just like any of Peter’s other friends. 

Loki offered her a polite bow, his manners slipping to the proper manners of home in his nerves as he stepped past her to Peter’s room.  He knocked tentatively on the door.  “Arachnid?  Will you let me in? Please?” Loki asked and even he could hear the fear in his voice at what he’d find inside.  Or worse, that Peter would send him away.

“Loki? You can come in,” Peter sounded nervous.  Unwell. His voice weaker, younger than usual.

Loki tentatively cracked open the bedroom door to find Peter in bed under the covers.  Loki slipped in and closed the bedroom door behind him.  “Stark said you were unwell.  That you had been in the hospital,” Loki said gently as he came in and sat on the edge of Peter’s bed as the teen sat up.  He looked pale and wan.  He shouldn’t.  He had super powers, super healing.  He should not look or be ill.

Peter nodded and looked suddenly shy.  “I had to switch medications and had a bad reaction to the new one,” he told Loki softly.  “Even my healing factor couldn’t handle an allergic reaction to medication…”

“Medication?” Loki asked concerned. That sounded like a long term illness.

Peter nodded, blushed, looked away embarrassed.

“Arachnid,” no that wasn’t right.  Not for this conversation “Peter, please, you are my best friend on this realm. You know I will not hurt you. I will not tease or make fun of you, not over something important like this.  Please trust me,” Loki’s voice was nearly a beg as he pleaded with the teen to let him help, to at least tell him what was wrong.

It was the first time Loki had called Peter by his name.  

Please trust me had begged to god of mischief.  

Please trust me had begged the lord of lies.

He had begged.  

He would go down on his knees and truly beg if that’s what it took to help his friend.

Peter turned even more red and looked down at his lap.  He paused a long, long, torturously long minute before he spoke again.  “The medication I’m on is to help… transition…” the kid is clearly looking for words and Loki waited patiently for him to find the words he needed.  “I was born in a girl’s body, but I’m not a girl,” he finally settled on, his voice getting vehemence in his defense of his gender.  “The medication is to help me be me until I can make the transition through surgery…” 

He wouldn’t look at Loki while he spoke, while he admitted these things.

Loki realized he’d been bullied for this before.  

The boy had soul wounds from people not accepting who he was. 

If Loki could understand anything about the young man, it was that.

Loki folded the young man into his arms, pulling Peter to him. “You thought I would not understand?  I who have no gender? Who is both male and female?  I understand more than anyone, my friend, and would never, ever turn you away for such a thing,” he told the young man sobbing out his heartbreak into Loki’s shoulder.  

Loki wanted to kill every single person who had helped add to the soul wound on Peter’s heart, who had led to the tears being shed now.

[smokeybrand]

Smokey brand Movie Review: Marvel’s Revengers

This review is a few weeks in the making. I actually saw Thor: Ragnarok the day it came out but i wanted to wait to review it. I was curious how i would feel about it after seeing Justice League. The fact that the architect of Marvel’s Phase One was brought in to “fix” what Snyder had produced was kind of ill so i wanted to see if i could discern that Marvel flavor in DC’s flick better after taking in Thor and having time to ponder those aspects altogether. I opted to take in Ragnarok a second time today because i figured out that i liked it more than i liked Justice League. Even with all of the good in that flick; Flash, Wondy, the levity, Aquaman, Cyborg sort of, i just found myself watching a third tier Marvel outing. Like, i left thee theater feeling like i watched Avenger 3 and it was worse than Age Of Ultron. Ultron wasn’t great but it was decent ,JL wasn’t decent. After watching Ragnarok a second time, my initial reaction was justified For both films. Thor: Ragnarok is a great movie and Justice League is a pale imitation of what makes Ragnarok great. I might write a piece later comparing the two, elaborating on my i think JL to be such a hollow abstraction of Ragnarok, and the Marvel formula overall, but this little essay is going to be a straight review of Ragnarok. Spoilers: Is Gud. Go see that sh*t. Again. But first, can we just appreciate the utter bad ass beauty of Tessa Thompson?

Ol’ girl was goddamn outstanding in a movie full of outstanding and she did while being bad-ass, beautiful, and brilliant. Hats off, madame, hats off. Swag on fleek, as the kids say.

The Best

Tessa Thompson killed as Brunnhilde. And, yes, she has a name, not a number. She’s Brunnhilde the Valkyrie or just Valkyrie. and Tess OWNED that sh*t, manq!

Speaking of ownage, can we just stop and appreciate Hela? Cate Blanchett embodied this roll and i loved every minute of it. I’ve always loved Hela. I thought she never got her due in the comics, with the exceptions of some solid f*cking stories (check out little loki and Leah’s adventure or Ultimate Hela, off the top of my head) so to see such a prestigious actor take on such an iconic character with respect, understand, and general awesomeness was spectacular. She’s my second favorite MCU villain after Keaton’s Vulture and i mean the closet of seconds.

Speaking of my beautiful and deadly Hela, i like the liberties they took with her history here. Don’t misunderstand, 616 Hela will always have a special place in my heart by her cinema appearance, an amalgamation of Gor the God Butcher, Angela Odinsdottir, (yes, that’s Angela’s guv’ment name now) and Hela Lokisdottir, (lookit me using comic logic to discern Hela’s last name) i was pretty okay with how she turned out overall. I mean, come on, looking over that last clusterf*ck of words, you’d think the character, herself, would be a mess but she’s not. She’s just plain dope. Dope and hot. and deadly. Deadly, dope, and hot.

How can Jeff Goldblum not be at the top of this list with the other two standouts in this flick? Yo, anytime you add Ian Malcolm to anything, it’s immediately +5 for snark and +20 for tight. Jeff, with all his Goldblumisms, just makes everything better. He’s like cinema MSG!

I loved the diversity in this flick. Beautiful, black, female, lead that happens to not only best the “Lord of Thunder and God of Mischief but the hulk, too? Check. Female antagonist that is arguably the best antagonist Marvel has ever produced? Check. Bad ass warrior monk who can see anywhere into the universe and happens to be black, too? Check. Respect and reverence for the multi-cultures represented by the majority of the cast while not feeling like pandering or false SJW placation? Check. Visionary, Academy award nominated, director who happens to be half Maori out here throwing his big cinematic dick about all over Disney’s Marvelscape? Check. Marvel is getting this sh*t right in their films and while i think Homecoming did diversity better, Thor is a damn fine continuance in that direction.

This movie was beautiful. It was like walking into a Jack Kirby comic from the 70s. I half expected a f*cking Eternal or Celestial to jump out of the screen at me. I thought Doctor strange had a heavy visual aesthetic but Ragnarok definitely pressed for that title.

The Better

Taika Waititi is getting much better at his craft. I can’t say this is a perfect movie but it’s a damn good one. There are still some pacing issues and some rather interest plot points from the previous outings **cough**JaneFosterandLadySif**cough** that were just glossed over but i think they tightened the narrative overall. a better example would be the sudden injection, and that’s what it felt like actually, of Hela. That was more than sudden and jarring. That sloppy execution set me off a little, i guess, and that’s on the direction.

But dat Soundtrack, tho!

Mark Ruffalo turns in another spectacular, scene stealing, performance as Bruce Banner. Cat is kind perfect for this role and it boggles my mind that it took three tries to get that right. Marvel is usually really good at casting.Go figure.

Chris Hemsworth and Tom Hiddleston turn in their best performances as the Odinson boys and i’m glad to see a little closure with their arc. Seeing Thor actually mature and Loki come full circle was awesome. As a older brother, i identified with their overall growth closely. It was adorable and brotherly. Also, did anyone else notice how hot Hiddles was in that suit. I’m not gay but goddamn, you gotta give the brotha his credit where it’s due. He wore the f*ck out of that ensemble!

It was dope to see Heimdall get some finally. Cat out here using the Bifrost key to just mow down nameless asshole zombie Asgardians while saving basically the entire world, single-handedly. I saw a meme that referred to him as black Jesus and i can’t imagine a better way to sum his character up. Apparently, Idris Elba does have a dope pair of sandals so, you know, that’s a thing.

The visuals on Sakarr were inspired. i adored the textures and lived in feel of that world. It felt like something Jeff Goldblum would lord over. Muspelheim was just as majestic as Niflheim from the original Thor.

But dat Thorforce, tho. I know it was lightning or thunder or whatever but that sh*t was the goddamn Thorforce, son. Please see Rune Thor or King Thor and get at me, bro.

The Good

The supporting cast was legit. I thought Korg and Miek were just the right amount of hilarious with the right amount of exposure. I wanted more but i wasn’t hurting that i didn’t get more, you know? I think a one-shot would be fun for those two.

The Visual effects were on point. Nothing looked unfinished and this was the first time we really gt a great look at The Hulk. That whole gladiator scene was epic as sh*t! i wish it were longer but, you know, WWH can swing back around and address that. I mean, i’d love to see how Doug bit the dust, particularly considering New Doug basically destabilized and overthrew the entire social system. Also, Fenrir was cool as sh*t.

The Hulk was dope. Like, as a character, dope. Seeing him come into his own over his two year imprisonment of Banner was awesome. I said this before and i’ll say it again, i needs that WWH movie now. How can you gloss over that two year period? The f*ck was he doing in that time? How dope was he while he was winning?? i need to know, Marvel! I NEED TO KNOW!!

Sir Anthony Hopkins and future Sir Benedict Cumberbatch showed up and did what they do. They were short cameos but their respective skill in their craft carried their respective screen presences effortlessly. I will miss Odin though. He was pretty legit anytime he was onscreen. And the chemistry he had with Hemsworth has gotten considerably better. Is a far cry from literally all of the complaints he had for kid when they made the first Thor flick, all those years ago. Growth is good, manq.

But dat Fenrir, tho.

The Eh

Where the f*ck was Sif? i loved Sif. Why she gone, bro? She obviously wasn’t killed by Hela cuz she was nowhere near Asgard so i assume she’s on Midgar or whatever so why no Sif? Not even a mention, you know? I’d say this was “Bad” but it was more a discomfort than a slight.

Hela’s return from and general machinations of her banishment/imprisonment was kind of swampy. It was never clear how Odin put her away or how she knew where he was when he died. I imagine Magic or f*cking Magnets or some sh*t but still. Shenanigans.

Hela sacked the Warriors Three like they were lunches. I thought that was ridiculous but whatever. They needed a way to portray Hela’s dopeness but you’re telling me Thor or Heimdall didn’t mourn their bros? that sh*t was whack, son!

Karl Urban as okay as Scourge. Like, his introduction was dope. That little bit when Thor returned from Muspelheim was chill as ch*ts but after that? Meh. Kid was kind of an irredeemable weenie and a total plot throw away. Hela didn’t need him for sh*t. Still, it’s good to see Bones branching out. Maybe this will get him enough clout to get Dredd Two made. I want my Judge Death goddamit!

The Verdict

I adored Ragnarok. I think it’s easily one of the better Marvel films out there. It’s effortlessly the second best of the Marvel films released this year (I give Homecoming that distinction because i’m a giant Spider-Man fanboy and Logan is technically a Fox property or that thing would DEFINITELY get the “Best of the year” nod) and has left the MCU in a very intriguing place. As a direct lead in to Infinity War, i am satisfied. Satisfied and, as the kids say, crazy thirsty for what’s next. Taika Waititi has elevated this franchise from the worst of the MCU into talks as part of the best with one movie and that’s a goddamn feat. While i feel like World War Hulk should have been it’s own film, it’s own movie, i’m less frustrated by it being just a part of Ragnorok’s overall vision. Taika’s execution of that vision was just so deftly executed, none of that felt tacked on. It never weighed down the overall plot or narrative.Besides, there’s a two year gap there. We can always go back and see how Hulk became The Champion with a prequel. or something. Anything to get my girl Tessa back on that MCU screen, ya dig? Ma looked good in them silvers and blues.

Overall, i thought this was a solid film. There are some pacing issues and a few shots were a bit jarring; i thought the sudden appearance of that Norway scene was a bit heavy handed, but Sir Anthony Hopkins kind of saved that situation a little bit. Watching that guy act is a goddamn blessing. At the end of the day, this was an amazing film that entertained, regaled, and endeared. I adore the additions of Tessa Thompson and Jeff Goldblum and hope we see more of them going forward. This was a diverse, brilliant, fun, entertaining, film that deserves all of the accolades it’s received as well as multiple viewings by the audience. It kind of sh*t’s all over Justice League so go see Ragnarok again instead.

[imagine-loki]

Packless Monsters

TITLE: Packless Monsters CHAPTER NO./ONE SHOT: 11/? AUTHOR: nekoamamori ORIGINAL IMAGINE: Imagine you’re a werewolf who ends up in the company of Loki in the Avenger’s tower after saving Pepper’s life RATING: M NOTES/WARNINGS: Also on AO3 click here

     “I apologize in advance for tomorrow,” you told the group a couple days later at dinner. They were all going out on a mission after the meal. You still hadn’t started going on missions with them yet. Cap was still strategizing on how to best add your abilities to the group dynamic, so you stayed with Loki most of the time. It was rare for him to be called out with the others.

    “What’s tomorrow?” Tony asked stupidly.

    “The full moon, doofus,” you replied sourly, fighting the urge to growl at him. Your wolf still hadn’t forgiven Tony, so you tended to be more short with him than the others. Your temper was already bordering on short right now.

    “I think Tony meant why do you need to apologize for tomorrow, love?” Loki said calmly from the chair next to you, sipping equally calmly on his tea. You saw the smirk of his enjoyment at your taunting of Tony.

    “Because my temper will be much shorter than usual until after the full moon tomorrow night,” you explained, staring at your nearly untouched plate. You hated talking about things like this, but they deserved to know.

    “We can handle the Hulk’s temper. You can’t be nearly that bad,” Tony quipped. You glared at him across the table, though he had a point.

    “Thank you for the warning,” Cap said firmly to shut Tony up. “We should get going,” he told the others. “Loki, I got an update that there will be enhanced. Suit up, you’re coming too.” Loki looked up, shocked, then looked at you.

    You rolled your eyes at him. “The preternatural creature can spend a few hours alone in her locked house without a babysitter, oh high and mighty god,” you teased him.

    “Maybe we should leave you a babysitter,” Tony chuckled. You glared at him in reply, tempted to throw the salt shaker, or your dinner knife, at him, but stood with the others instead, choosing to ignore him.

    “I’ll get the dishes,” you told Cap. He nodded and everyone separated to go get ready. Loki touched your arm as you started gathering the dishes so you could wash them. It was the least you could do.

    “Are you sure you’ll be alright?” Loki asked you softly.

    You huffed and rolled your eyes at him again. “I’m fine, Lo,” you teased. He glared momentarily, an automatic response to the nickname, but laughed, grumbling something about an annoying puppy. You had somehow gotten away with shortening his name, and Thor thought you were the most amazing person for managing to do so without getting stabbed.

    His expression sobered when he saw you wrap your plate and shove it in the fridge, intending on eating it later, and knowing you wouldn’t. “Love, have you eaten anything all day?” His voice and expression were nothing but concern.

    “I’m not hungry,” you replied instead of answering that question. You hadn’t eaten more than a few bites of anything all day, but you couldn’t tell him that. Most days you ate as much as he and Thor did. You couldn’t lie directly to Loki, so you had a tendency to lie with the truth. It was a well practiced skill among the werewolves. So much so that many became lawyers.

    “Y/N,” his voice was an unhappy warning. He looked you over more closely. “You’re flushed,” he said softly and touched your cheeks, then your forehead with his ice cold hand. “Tell me, love,” he bid you softly when you melted under his cold hands. You laid your head on his chest and would have purred if you were a cat when he placed his hand on the back of your neck.

    “It’s the full moon,” you told him. You didn’t know how to explain what you were feeling to someone who wasn’t a wolf, who didn’t get this way every stupid month. There was no way he’d understand the feeling of heat, anxiety, over-fullness of power, near sickness at the moon’s call. “I-I can’t explain it. I swear I’m fine, or I will be after tomorrow,” you amended before he could claim you were getting too close to the line of a lie. He hesitated, but Cap called for him to hurry up.

    “Very well,” he finally said softly.

    “Go on, you have work to do,” you teased and pushed him to the elevator, your hands firm against his back while he fought with all the maturity of a jelly-legged toddler.

    He paused at the elevator to use magic to change into his battle armor, then turned back to you. “My room is kept cool,” he reminded you. “You’re welcome to spend the evening there if it would be more comfortable.” He had noticed that you melted under his icy hands.

    “Thanks, I’ll consider it,” you replied and stood up on your toes to kiss his cheek. He shifted with a mischievous grin and kissed you lightly on the lips instead. The kiss was chaste, his lips soft on yours, but you felt the shock of ice down your spine when his lips met yours. You looked up at him shocked when you were back on your feet. You hadn’t expected it, or how much you would enjoy it.

    “I’ll return as soon as I am able. Be safe, little wolf,” he bid you with a smirk at your shocked expression and was laughing as he got into the elevator to go meet up with the others at the jet upstairs.