#they sexyfied him

[aengelren]

Whoever animated this did it with one hand down their pants

[uukipi]

The winter King ep 6

[bugstung]

Is it a safe space to say he's hot though

[ritsukageyamas]

y'know what, i posted about this on main but i'm gonna not be a coward and also say it on my anime blog: reigen not winning the sexyman poll on here does not prove that he's only a twitter sexyman and not a tumblr one. he still got all the way to third place. and he's a sexyman to me regardless and you know why?? because he may be a conman but he is a good man who's kind to children, tells mob it's okay to run away and save himself when things get dangerous because he knows adults should have to fight their own battles, tells mob that having psychic powers isn't what's important and what is important is to be a good person, and his whole entire thing is that he's a fake psychic but he still always helps his clients just not in the way that they expected. the 'sexyfication of a character who isn't actually attractive' element is also still there with him in a way because of how the animators took the definitely-not-sexy manga reigen and sexyfied him. and he earned it.

[riddlerosehearts]

"the tumblr poll proves that reigen is actually a twitter sexyman and not a tumblr one!" idk i mean, i think getting to third place on here is still pretty impressive?? if nothing else, reigen is a tumblr sexyman to me. <3

[mpregjamesdiamond]

they sexyfied him so hard for this role

[lickmyballs420]

are we gonna sexyfy him too or are y'all cowards

[thatreallyminecraftsmygender]

Listen. I've held my silence for the rest of this, however. Just this once.

VOTE FOR TANGO. THIS IS A TUMBLRSEXYMAN. LOOK AT HIS FUCKIN DORKY ASS SKIN AND LOOK AT HOW COOL THE FUCKIN FANART IS! HE HAS A LABORARTY, HE HAS AN EVIL CASTLE THINGY- YOU COULD SEE HIM SINGING 'HOW BAD CAN I BE' (requirement for tumblr sexymen). WILBUR? I LOVE WILBUR AS MUCH AS THE NEXT GUY BUT HE WAS PREPACKAGED. THERE WAS NO LEG WORK NEEDED BY THE FANDOM TO TUMBLR-SEXYFY HIM AND THE MOST IMPORTANT QUALITY OF TUMBLR SEXYMEN IS THAT MOST OF THE WORK IS DONE BY THE FANDOM. &lt;https://www.tumblr.com/mcytblrsexymen/708700292441587712/round-3?source=share> Look at this. Look at this.

This skin is for the GAYS. Red eyes! Highlighter hair! Sickass jacket! The Red colour theme! and you think he's done? NO! THIS WOULDN'T BE A TUMBLR SEXYMAN WITHOUT AN ALTERNATIVE COLOUR PALLETE SWAP

HE'S ICE THEMED, HE'S FIRE THEMED. HE HAS AN EVER SICKER COAT AND BLUE GLOWY HAIR AND EYES. THIS IS FOR US

You though i was done?? WRONG

NEED I SAY MORE

He does so much for us. Lest we forget team rancher? Lest we forget ZIT? This man deserves our votes. VOTE TANGO

[just-an-enby-lemon]

I can't explain why but I'm still very excited to see Bonzo in the actual podcast. I think is because I want the absolute bonkers fandom reactiom raised by his apperance on the ARG in a larger scale when people that either didn't heard about or weren't interested in the ARG side of things hears about him. I want Bonzo to be the new Tumblr sexyman so hard.

He needs to be Nikola and Michael follow up in the unexpected - by everyone with an ounce of normal brain function including Jonny - fandom sex symbol. I'm an ace who rly never gets any form of attraction but I love sexyfying monsters. The Bonzo thirst was funny and it can go harder.

[jaskersneakthief]

remake of that ugly ass kevin image i made that still haunts me and for some reason it appears when you search him on google, stop liking that!!😭

I'm sexyfying that geometric shape once more

[murky-tannin]

People are bringing up how Tumblr Sexymen are historically Not Sexy but still viewed as such by Tumblr. I do find it prudent to mention that technically Scar falls under this category considering his canon look is a minecraft block man. Meaning by definition he fits in amongst sexymen like Wheatley or Bill Cipher because the fanart is what sexyfies him (unless square tits are your thing ig). That being said? Vote Joe Hills

[justsomeguycore]

bridgerton IS stupid but i DO sometimes like it but i draw the line at sexyfying literal king george III like nooooo offense but when they’re all fictional nobles it’s like alright i know we’re romanticizing monarchy but it’s at a distance because they’re not real but KING GEORGE THE THIRD?????? as usamericans king george III is like the first king of the uk we ever learn about in the framework of him being the villain of our beautiful american revolution and now it’s like. watch this guy fuck in a bathtub. like yes queen consort charlotte was also a real person but bridgerton made her black so it’s like a fictional version of her. but george is just george. george is george forever

[deanpinterester]

i finally finished three body (the show) WHEW. i give it a 7/10. generally well made but i feel like there was too much repetition and a lot of the episodes (especially towards the middle and end) leave off at really strange places so each episode doesn't feel like complete experiences. my favourite series of episodes were the ones where wang miao got the countdown in his eyes. the intrigue paired with how shi qiang talked sense into him were very effective. (and i just KNOW people ship them. i just Know). and i'm glad the show left in a hopeful place! i'm not too into doom and gloom type stories and this series very much has that "no faith in humanity" theme going on and i'm happy shi qiang is there to be like fuck right off with that!!

anyway! i don't like those game of thrones writers very much BUT they are good at adapting preexisting material (evident from the fact GoT only went downhill after they ran out of books to adapt) so i am cauuuutiously hopeful the netflix adaption will be good. however comma i am a little concerned they will sexyfy the story because WHO is that scantily clad woman in the trailer. she definitely did not exist in the chinese show.

i'm not thrilled that most of the cast is not chinese but i guess that's to be expected from hollywood ~americanizing~ a story. at least they got benedict wong and the two actresses playing wenjie

it'll be fun to compare the two! i don't know just how netflix is planning to fit so much stuff into 8 episodes so i'm interested to see what's their take on the story.

[nerves-nebula]

I respect Cecil and his importance to queer media history but I have an obligation to vote for sans. I did not live through sanscest for nothing, and see the problem with Cecil because he got no canon appearance (to my knowledge, I wasn't on the internet back in 2012 cause of strict parents so my knowledge is slim) he can be as sexy as you want him to be, but sans has one, and while you can sexyfy him you will be haunted by the fact that you're making suggestive material of a short little man with zero skin, I need him to win so Tumblr always remembers the fact they were attracted to him, it keeps us humble.

I mean if we’re measuring it by keeping us humble I’d say the onceler would take the cake. Oncest was truly something else. And I personally am not embarrassed about wanting to fuck sans. He’s a fat OP skeleton who tells lame jokes, what’s not to like? Besides ppl all over the internet wanna fuck sans, he’s from one of the most popular games ever. But Cecil is so… TUMBLR.

so yknow. Ashes to ashes or whatever. Let the sexiest man win.

[genuflectx]

Terato Book Review: A Soul to Keep (Duskwalker Brides Book 1)

This one was on my to-read list on Goodreads for a bit, and I finally got around to reading it. The first half has vague spoilers, such as descriptions of sex and if there was a happy end or not. Under the cut you’ll find a longer review with detailed spoilers. Here we go!

A Soul to Keep (Duskwalker Brides Book 1), by Opal Reyne. Orpheus, a human eating duskwalker, appears every ten years to receive a human sacrifice. Reia, a “harbinger of bad omens,” is coerced into offering herself so that her village can be rid of her without actively killing her. She discovers that Orpheus does not eat this sacrifices, rather he has been looking for a companion. The only problem is that the smell of fear or blood causes him to go into an uncontrolled rage and devour its source, leading to many, many lost companions. As time goes on Reia must decide between trying to run (and potential be killed by lurking demons) or to stay with him. 

The book is 500+ pages, 38 chapters long, with each chapter being pretty short.

PROS ★  ★  ★ 

- It reads like a slow burn long fic, with a writing style that is neither astounding nor terrible. It’s right in the middle, but still one of the more entertaining monster erotica books that I’ve read!

- It’s plot is straight forward and simple with meaningful sexual progression over a long period of writing.

- Smutty scenes are detailed and long, often taking up whole chapters, sometimes with multiple sex scenes lined up one after the other. This is the most detailed smut I’ve seen in an erotic monster novel so far.

- She covers a variety of kinks, some that I haven’t seen in other terato books I’ve read. Size difference, threats of being eaten, hand kinks, pred-prey, copious amounts of cum...

- If you like skull heads, but were weirded out by Chise being underage in Ancient Magus’ Bride, here ya go. The monster is off brand Elias, and the author isn’t shy about crediting him. At the back of the book she says “I originally got into a character like this because of The Ancient Magus' Bride. Elias is a cutie and I loved him.“

- There are a surprising amount of small subplots, action scenes, and dramas in this book, even though the focus is mainly on Reia and Orpheus’s relationship. Basically, all subplots function as a way to change their relationship. I found Reyne to be decent at writing action scenes.

- Major character death sorta, but with a happy (if lackluster) ending.

CONS ★  ★  ★

- By far the biggest con is the disorganization of both information and the world building. Characters will state the obvious, the first 2 chapters are entirely exposition, and personality traits often make little sense given the way characters were raised- mostly Reia. I’ll talk more about this under the cut.

- The 1st sex scene breaks Orpheus’s preestablished personality traits, which took me out of the scene. 

- Two of the sex scenes are very obviously ripped from one of the “shippy” scenes from Ancient Magus’ Bride, except sexyfied. Once was enough. 

- Some kinks featured border on noncon or dubcon, and the feral kink will probably be iffy for some audiences. As in, Orpheus can be “feral” and more animalistic on all fours, but he’s still very clearly a sentient human-minded monster, not an actual animal. I include this as a con because definitions of a true “feral” vary wildly.

- I found some details in sex scenes to be unsexy. Such as Orpheus apparently being into sticking his tongue into Reia’s ears and Reyne describing it as “squelching.” The toe licking scene also comes to mind. I’m sure someone else will see those as pros tho, lol

- She decided to make all demons have “void black” skin, and even though she later makes it clear “void black” isn’t the same as a black skinned human, that was certainly... a choice. Uncreative at best, thoughtless at worst.

- Orpheus pretty much raped a different human multiple times in his past. I’ll talk more about this under the cut because of spoilers.

- Smaller cons that are mostly nitpicks: overuse of specific words for body parts (orbs, channel, cock), butchering a whole fucking deer on a dining room table (!?!?!), small plot holes, some sentences worded confusingly (one scene I was so confused by that I interpreted it as Reia having been disembowled when that wasn’t the case at all!)

★  ★ ★  WOULD I RECOMMEND THIS BOOK TO TERATO FANS?

Sure! It isn’t wholly good nor wholly bad, it sorta just is. It exists as basically a wildly AU fanfic where Reyne decided “hey Elias is hot, but the girl is a minor? ew” so she just plucked them from their canon and rewrote them in her image, right down to copying a few iconic scenes from the anime. I think the author has potential, but right now the writing itself is merely meh. Entertaining to a degree (I skimmed a LOT of the last dozen chapters), but meh. I don’t think she had an editor or even beta reader, and is self-published only starting from 2020. So she’s pretty new.

Duskwalker Brides is meant to be a series, and this is book 1. Book 2 carries on through a character introduced to us in book 1, but I can’t bring myself to be motivated into reading book 2. Listen, I love skull head monsters, but after one human/duskwalker meet cute story I don’t really feel the need to read another by the same author. The lore of the world truly isn’t that engaging or deep. If she wanted us to stick with it she would need to make us more invested in a wider world-spanning plot, not just two characters and a side character. If I don’t care about the world, why would I want to read the same ol’ same ol’ human/duskwalker story that I literally just read...? I just don’t want to read the same thing twice. Sorry Reyne...

★  ★  ★  FINAL RATINGS:

Monsterousness: 9/10 Eroticism: 9/10 Story: 7/10 Characters: 6/10

MY FINAL SCORE: 7/10 (Not the best, but fun)

Spoiler time! We’ll start with the good things first, as usual. So... A Soul to Keep... I really did not care for the writing style from the get-go, mainly because it immediately broke the show-don’t-tell rule and started introducing us to a “she” before it even explained who “she” was. I was so confused! But luckily on the 2nd chapter it picked us back up and got me hooked. 

We are introduced to this strange world where humans cowered from “demons” and “duskwalkers,” the later which can walk in sunlight, unlike the former. Soon enough we learn that whatever the monsters eat they become, which causes those monsters who eat the most humans to become more human. Similarly, whatever animals they eat they become. So a dog-like demon has eaten dogs, an intelligent demon has eaten people- and our main character Orpheus with his magic has eaten priests, with his skull eaten wolves, his horns an impala. I found that premise interesting and unique.

( Speaking of impala. I can only assume they must be located in South Africa? Since that’s where impalas live...? But something tells me Reyne just did not think that hard... especially since almost all the characters have a Greek or Latin name... hmmm.... )

I very much liked the initial will-they-won’t-they aspect of the book! Sadly, despite how long it was, they go to the smut a lot sooner than I expected. Romance is second to the smut for A Soul to Keep, which is a shame. But the book is able to keep its slow burn title because they don’t have sex until late in the book, instead using mouths and hands. And, beyond sexual content, there’s finally the romantic part of the book, leading up to Reia eventually giving Orpheus her soul. We get to watch this big fluffy skull-monster fret and fuss over his little human, trying to win her heart, while at the same time trying to quell his bloodlust and not eat her. I love a good threat of being eaten >:D 

But then it becomes... meh.

This back-and-forth relationship between them beings to feel overplayed and muddled by the middle of the book. Characters become repetitive and wishy-washy. Reia, despite beginning to consider staying, runs away anyways and nearly fucking dies. Why, Reyne? She was scared of falling in love. She was scared of falling in love so she... thrusted herself literally into a den of bloodthirsty monsters. It’s a dumb motivation. Reia, who is supposedly meant to be intelligent, is stupid only when drama calls for it. That’s annoying for a reader.

Which is a perfect Segway into my bigger gripes about the book. Reyne writes as if she doesn’t know what she’ll write until it’s coming out of her, and this results in information getting to the page out of order. I don’t know how else to explain it other than everything felt disorganized. Info, sentences, the world. She has self-published so many books in only 2 years that I’m inclined to believe she is churning them out without really going back through them. It results in an amateurish read, which is a shame given how much potential I see in the story. Out of everything it’s the smutty chapters that really shine. But everything else just falls by the wayside, especially character and world consistency. 

And before I get to those inconsistencies- I have got to mention the rape thing. Orpheus’s first human, Katarina, was 200 years ago. He talks lovingly about her, about building a house and buying things for her, having lost his virginity to her. But then Katarina reveals that she never wanted it, and let him fuck her because she was scared he’d eat her if she said no. This was untrue because he wouldn’t have eaten her. However, as a scared human kidnapped by a monster known for bloodlust, she felt coerced, leading to it being rape. Multiple times. But Reia decides it was Katarina’s own fault for being raped because she “didn’t tell him no.” She even calls Katarina a cold hearted bitch. Then, Reyne decides to make Katarina an evil villain who’s out to kill Orpheus and make him miserable. Astounding. Honestly, that was the most fucked up thing about this story. Reia talks about Katarina as if she were terrible and bitchy because she “didn’t tell Orpheus no/her real feelings,” but Orpheus was very much a half-animal 200 years ago, one known for slaughtering humans, so why would the woman ever think anything else? She was terrified. 

Reia is a shitty person, and I squint my eyes at Opal Reyne for writing a rape victim that way. I don’t know if she just did this distasteful thing without thinking or if she legitimately was inserting her own beliefs about rape victims here. Reia isn’t exactly supposed to be an unreliable narrator and it seems like we’re supposed to like Reia, which means we’re meant to agree with her. But no, Reyne, I do not. Reia was being a love blind asshole. It was not Katarina’s fault for being kidnapped and raped when she feared for her life, even if Orpheus was dumb and didn’t know he was raping her, rape is rape. Orpheus wasn’t at fault for being born a stupid monster, but neither is Katrina at fault for being too terrified to say no. >.>’

Now some of my notes on plot holes + inconsistencies: 

- It was preestablished early on that Orpheus always gave Reia space. Sometimes to the extreme that he’d stand outside of the room she was in. So why on Earth would he suddenly just be invading her private room in the middle of the night over a funny smell? Then stick his nose in her crotch? That is not the thoughtful and nervous Orpheus you introduced to us. (This is one of the scenes she copied twice from The Ancient Magus Bride, btw, she just made it smutty.)

- Reia’s knowledge and personality do not make sense for her upbringing. She was traumatized at the age of 7 by watching her whole family gored to death. Then, since 7, was left alone in a one-room shack on the outskirts of town, only being given food at a distance. So why, then, does she know how to bake cookies? Why, then, does she know how to dye and sew dresses? Why, then, does she know curse words and have sexual education? This girl should be uneducated, half-insane from isolation, and timid from being bullied and talked down on her entire life. Instead, Reyne expects us to believe this girl has the confidence and worldly knowledge of a normal girl. Maybe even smarter than a normal girl, given she knows what Stockholm Syndrome is and enough scientific knowledge to think about electricity. She doesn’t make sense.

- There’s a scene in which Orpheus covers her in a cloak and a deer skull as a costume. He tells her she cannot show her pale hands because her human skin would give her away. However, in the demon village one of the first thing she notes is that many demons have human faces and patches of human skin. So why should showing her hands have gave her away? Or Hell, even her face? Even the demon king himself has a humanoid face and skin patches. This seems to me an annoying decision made by Reyne to, again, foster drama.

- Mavka does not just mean “forest spirit,” it seems to be a specific woman forest spirit. Both Wikipedia and the Encyclopedia of Ukraine say this. I don’t know why she chose this word to represent a bloodthirsty skull-headed spawn of void and phantom. It almost seems... bad?

- The whole impala horn thing. I have no doubt this book is based in Europe, possible England, due to that being where Ancient Magus’ Bride was located. But impalas are in South Africa. Also, she capitalized impala as Impala every time. I assume because of no editor and autocorrect thinking she meant the car. lmao

Lastly, some other notes and goofy quotes

- Reia butchers a whole ass deer on a dining room table. Guts, brains, blood, the works, all on the table. I don’t think Reyne did any research on how to butcher a large animal...

- Right after Reia dies in front of him and returns, Reyne decides this is the perfect time for Reia to instigate a pred-prey chase on an unwilling and sad Orpheus, which leads to sex. The chapter right after is ALSO another sex scene. It was so weird at this point in the book and the sex no longer had meaning.

- The whole bath thing is fun for an erotic book, but... let’s be honest here. The strange monster man who coerced you into his home forcing you to have your privates and boobs touched twice a day is very much not consensual and is weird.

- “Almost like she was afraid of the answer, Reia quietly asked, ‘Do you have a cock, Orpheus?’ "He leaned forward, swiping his tongue over her ear, around it, inside it, and it sent a shiver through her. She heard the squelch of it against her ear hole. ‘Yes, my little human, I have a cock.’” noooo who asks that

- “She could tell how hard her heart was thumping by her left breast floating in the water, jiggling lightly with each beat.” whhhhy 

Soooo

The book is alright. It’s readable and offers a good few hours of entertainment, but it does drag on around the middle to end. The worst thing about it (besides being disorganized) is probably the rape victim blaming, which does make me distrust Reyne a bit. I don’t really have much else to say. Give it a read or don’t. There’s probably better monster erotica out there, somewhere, but I don’t think I’ve found it just yet... I’m not sure if I’ll read any more of Reyne’s work between 2020-2022, but maybe in a few years, when she’s practiced more, I’ll try again. I look forward to that day :)

[riddlerosehearts]

finished watching shark tale. and that is not an experience i intend to go through ever again. every character was insufferable except, i guess, for lenny the gay-coded shark who i still think the movie should've been about. because the main character oscar was literally just the absolute worst, and even though aladdin also had a protagonist who got himself caught in a massive lie because of his own insecurity about his poor background, and who had to learn to accept himself for who he was and that social status wasn't the most important thing in the world, aladdin was overall a better character than oscar in so many ways and had an arc that actually made sense. you could root for him because you saw how selfless he could truly be, how he genuinely had no one but a monkey in his corner. oscar had someone who cared about him, but he seemed to only care about himself. the romance in aladdin also wasn't paper thin and brought down by a love triangle involving a generic girl next door and a sexyfied fish who obviously only "loves" oscar for being famous. and also aladdin is visually beautiful and well-animated. shark tale is. ugh. it's hideous CGI even for the year 2004.

ngl i think the only reason i didn't stop watching this movie partway through was because i was playing dreamlight valley on my switch at the same time to push through my boredom, and because while the character designs are incredibly ugly they're not actively difficult for me to look at. when i was making my pixar movie tier list i stopped a bug's life after 30 minutes (out of a combination of boredom + having too much trouble looking at giant CGI bugs. sorry, i know that movie has its fans) and i suspect i won't be able to get through dreamworks antz either unless that movie somehow has a really good story.