#they seem so lonely
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Send asks, we're booooooored.
If you can send one that tempts Baldwin into talking/answering we'll draw you a little doodle~
#scream(they)#i want baldwin to talk to people#they seem so lonely#i mean yeah i get it#but also they clearly WANT to talk#they're just a coward
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renaissance dogys
characters belong to @canisalbus
#i love i loveeee ludovica sm shes so cute. ive only known her for 5 min but i fell in love with her design and i love her friendship#with vasco ^_^ i think them having each other makes hiding their sexualities a little less lonely so thats sweet#ik in modern au shes considered an old friend of vascos but i originally assumed she and vasco fake dated in college or smth#to get their parents off their backs until they came out properly and continued to stay in touch as friends after LMAO#im not very familiar with period fashion so i had to look at renaissance costumes as reference. but i have to admit i love the#high waistlines used in some of their dresses.. i have a minidress with a similar high waistline pressed against the chest and sleeves#also if u squint machete is holding a little paper bag in the 2nd photo which is supposed to be his lunch courtesy of vasco <3#idk what ludovica would wear in modern au but i thought poet shirts might suit her because theyre like somewhere evenly between#masc and femme. to me anyway.. based on observation lesbians seem to love poet shirts and i think she looks good in one#these are all shitposts.. ill draw serious art of them one of these days i promise#i listened to fools rush in and it reminds me of them.. especially when it goes 'though i see the danger there / if theres a chance#for me then i dont care' like its so poignant and bittersweet.. a little indulgent when u think of those small moments they have togethr#save me gay catholic furries... gay catholic furries... gay catholic furries save me#my art#myart#doodles#fanart#others ocs#canisalbus#fur#furry art#machete#vasco#vaschete#ludovica#sfw fur#furry#anthro
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AU martin i've been cooking on the tma rp twitter....
#art cabinet#martin blackwood#the magnus archives#tma#he's pushing 50 here lol. he's 49 !#touched by both the lonely and the vast#so he's kind of like shared properly hopping between sailing on fairchild boats and lukas boats#hes mostly w/ the lukases though heheeh#but he hasnt been fully claimed as an avatar of either yet because of. heh. well. i cant say that here because my friend follows this blog#GATEKEEPING LORE IS MY PASSION#he has a special notebook that he always seems to lose but it always finds its way back to him#its like an extension of him#both a diary and a journal yk#also hes rlly hot did i say that hes super hot like hes steaming hot hes smoking hes so so h#also if youre wondering. haha. ha. yes i'm making a matching tim for himJKHAHALSKA BUT DONT TELL ANYONE!
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Second-guessing
#been overthinking all day today and needed to draw how it feels lately#a bit of a vent ahead#it’s gotten really lonely and almost alienating in a way#and the fandom seems so vastly different#and in a way I dont really feel ok in#i do take the steps to avoid anything that i don’t want to see#but it just feels like what i do is pointless#like what i draw is pointless#i know the more platonic/familial themes in my art will always be overshadowed#but its been a harsh truth ive been hit with#and it’s kind of heartbreaking#i’m forever grateful for the reminders of how my art is like a breath of fresh air#but man is it difficult to not just quit entirely#because it always falls back to: why am I doing this? what’s the point?#i’m sorry I feel like such a whiny loser when I talk about things like this#it’s all jumbled and all over the place but to put it simply it’s been super lonely#i just needed to say something before it completely boiled over#im sorry again
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Little treasure
#i dunno i just like drawing shells and in general sea stuff and#i dunno sea seems soo peacefull yet so unpeacefull#so lonely yet so alive and#i dunno#nothingbizzare art#artist on tumblr#mob psycho 100#mp100#mp100 fanart#mob psycho fanart#kageyama shigeo#shigeo kageyama
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wanted to draw them as this bc of someone on twitter lmao
#bakudeku#bkdk#final vol made me so sad#katsuki seems so lonely bro like wtf horikoshi#anyways#bakugou katsuki#izuku midoriya#deku#bnha#mha#boku no hero academia#my hero academia#bnha fanart#mha fanart
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in scott's pov (ep7) he refers to scar as grian's husband. no one tells him this is not the case. this is because traffic!scott decides who is and is not married like some sort of contractually binding arbiter of love. to me anyways
#he never learned how to do divorce so everyone is just stuck like this.#trafficshipping#craftie art#third life#bo's lpcu (lonely people cinematic universe)#the answer to my question about tagging seems to be 'is it even ship art if its in the desert?' which is fair#grian#scott#'op this is not shipping' the problem.is to me tl!g+s are together in a way that is so inextricable to their characters that any depiction#of them is shipping. sorry. it makes it hard to judge if its actually ship by tumblrs standards lmao
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been thinking about something wicked a little too much lately. no harm in romanticizing the ominous dreadful unstoppable force
#ultrakill#v1#v1cked#<- unsure if ive ever officially decided that was the tag id be using but i dont recall anyone else having an idea for it#v1 and something wicked... ouhehehe#in a game like this... with conflict and violence and unceasing demand for a spectacle it is a step back to have v1 find themselves in a-#dark and quiet labyrinth belonging to a force that scares even them#idk. i think about it. its so unlike everything v1 has gone through thus far (though albeit not much as 0-S is in prelude. but i assume-#-there was some killing before they decided to drop down)#maybe it reminds them of their home? where they were built? light humming of wicked passing feels like the buzzing of bright artificial-#-lights that were routinely shined down on them for maintenance#a strange but welcome connection...#and something wicked is very lonely. i dont think it has much of an issue with this seeing as it knows its maze so so well.. im sure it-#-cares for it extensively. but a machine? coming here? i wonder if something wicked has the ability to interact with the terminals at all#terminals do really only talk to machines#but this one seems quite lonely. i dont think itd mind if something wicked happened to take a look#ok im done#gen art
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911 lone star -> ranger soup meeting and asking about tk
#911 lone star#911lsedit#my gifs#carlos reyes#tk strand#nancy gillian#ranger soup#... fiiine i'll tag him correctly#sam campbell#idk why I randomly felt like making this one but here we are#something about soup man wanting to be carlos' friend so bad lol#they started out with him thinking carlos was just a nepo baby but after carlos proved himself he was like...#'actually this dude seems cool why wont he be my friendddd??' 🥺#but ALSO? Carlos and his lil smile after TK is referred to as the 'good lookin' paramedic' 🤭 he's like yeahhh my husband's hot#long post
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I've been doing a lot of reflection as of late, especially after this past class.
This past class was about the Torah and Tanakh in general, and the way the rabbi talked about the commandments (specifically the ten commandments) has made me really reflect on how I interpret them, specifically the fifth commandment, or honoring your mother and father.
This is a commandment I have wrestled with for a long time - in fact, it brought me away from g-d at multiple times. I was severely abused when I was incredibly young by my mother, and I used to feel insulted at the implication that I were to honor her while she got to live a better life. It was hypocritical, in my eyes.
But this rabbi surmised that this particular commandment was because parenthood is an act of creation, something that is like the g-d from which we come from. My realization is this: I don't think we're necessarily meant to take even these commandments literally.
I this particular commandment is more of a call to honor creation - creation is a gift, and like any gift, many people simply will not like it and will discard it. The person who abused me created me, but she did not honor creation. She didn't honor me, but I can still honor it.
I have started to honor creation much more. I'm too young, too unstable, not mature enough to be a father (though I fantasize about it), but I create all the time. I create relationships, I create with my hands through crochet. I create memories, I create my world. And I can honor who I am and where I came from that made me who I am. I've been learning one of the mother tongues of my family (Italian, since part of my family originates there) and it was judaism that inspired me to do this.
I don't think g-d wants me to honor my abuser. I think He wants me to remember the Holy action of creation. When I am a father, that act of creation will be Holy, and indeed, I am already joyful about the thought.
I have seen many people struggle with this particular commandment, but I think this perspective helps me personally. I don't think I ever have to forgive my abusers (plural), and I don't think I am commanded to simply because they happened to be family. I am commanded to recognize the holy, to elevate the mundane. In doing so, I will remember g-d. Through creation, I honor g-d and everything he has done for us, for me, and for our collective people.
#jumblr#jew by choice#jewish conversion#personal thoughts tag#abuse tw#i am not sharing this for the sake of pity and i also ask not to be told to divulge my abuse story. that isn't relevant#i have been needing to engage with this topic for a long time though and judaism has helped me a bit in navigating healing#but i decided to share this publicly in the hopes it will help other survivors specifically of familial/parental abuse#i know how it feels (in general). it's so lonely and you can really harbor (understandable) baggage about this particular commandment#i have a meeting with My Rabbi (sponsoring rabbi) and i might bring this up. we've only spoken once face-to-face (zoom)#so that might be really Intense to bring up to him but he is very kind and i trust him (which is why he is My Rabbi)#and he has already told me that he WANTS me to wrestle with g-d and His word *with* him#again i am posting this publicly so i can document my thoughts and keep them straight but also with the hope it MIGHT help others#if it even *casually* inspires another survivor i will feel so grateful (though it is THEIR achievement and not mine to claim)#i want us to survive. i want us to eat well. i want us to smile#i will say that this must be a very sudden whiplash in tone from my last post about sex. from sex to awful horrific abuse#my stream of consciousness is just Like This though in the sense that i have very sudden realizations and tonal whiplashes#so you're just getting a very frank look into how my brain is structured and what my brain thinks are important enough to think about#if i seem much more verbose it's because i needed to write this on my laptop which makes typing and more importantly yapping even *easier*
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May I interest you in a kaiju sandwich with Gen, Kafka, and Soshiro?
#my art#kaiju no. 8#kafka hibino#gen narumi#soshiro hoshina#hoshikaf#kafhoshi#naruhoshi#narukaf#???#gen x kafka seems even more obscure#that needs to be fixed yall#i like to imagine gen and soshiro have a crush on eachother#but they are both down bad for kaf and get super competitive about it#now if you'll excuse me#i need to take a shower cause I reek of lonely homo#more so than usual
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I just want to be domestic with him.
I want to wake up and make him coffee. I want to be cooking breakfast and see him stumbling into the kitchen with crazy bed head, all bleary eyed, and hug me from behind before kissing the side of my head. I want to hug him and kiss his cheek. I want to lay on top of him and draw random shapes on his chest while we watch TV. I want him to lay on top of me while I run my fingers through his hair and trace the features on his face.
I just want to be soft with him.
Ciao!
#formula one#formula 1 drivers#formula1#carlos sainz#carlos sainz x y/n#carlos sainz x you#carlos sainz x reader#i can’t get enough of this man#I’ve never felt so lonely in my life#I really just need a hug#he just seems like the perfect lazy day partner#I also feel like a hug from him in a hoodie would be amazing
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[insp.] ☆ happy birthday to my beloved beatles mutual abbi @sgtpeppers <3
#sgt. pepper's lonely hearts club band#beatlesedit#thebeatlesedit#beatles#the beatles#ringo starr#george harrison#paul mccartney#john lennon#*mine#*mygifs#abbi tag#happy happy birthday abbi <3 <3 <3#i remember you said this was one of your favorite albums + it's your url so it seemed appropriate :) !#so i hope you like this my friend <3#also getting a good clip from a day in the life music video is actually so crazy#they loved a short burst of footage followed by another short burst of footage sjdjdjjd
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I simply think this fandom doesn't give Wei Wuxian enough credit for the various ways in which he saved Lan Wangji
#mdzs#mo dao zu shi#wangxian#idk man- i just see a lot of “Lan Wangji has always been protecting Wei Wuxian” posts and its like...#I mean... Lan Wangji has always certainly been trying to protect Wei Wuxian#it took him a long time to figure how to successfully do that though#rereading the books rn and noticing theres a lot of instances that could be read as lwj being frustrated over his inability to protect wwx#like he seemed ready to cry when wwx went missing for a while and then came back with the cursed leg#lwj has always been great at protecting wwx from physical threats (ex: waterborn abyss) but had no idea how to protect him from himself#meanwhile wwx has always been instictually good at saving lwj from both#like I'm 100% lwj would've become like Jiang Cheng if wwx hadn't snapped him out of the blindly following authority thing#and also like... 15 y/o lwj wasnt happy with his life. he was lonely and stressed and literally signing up to be flogged whenever he goofed#wwx is who allowed lwj to grow up by showing him what it was like to actually be a kid (shown in story whenever lwj gets drunk)#he led lwj to having a more flexible mindset. and it both let lwj relax and set lwj up to be a better parent#looking into lwj's dynamic with the juniors- he lets them break a fuck ton of the petty rules and encourages them to question authority#he also teaches them to not be married to any one meathod of problem solving#wwx is also able to save lwj from his own stubbornness#ex: carrying lwj when he broke his leg. getting lwj to cough up bad blood. getting lwj to keep the rabbits#wwx also tends to give lwj the words he has trouble saying himself. helps him communicate#wwx also protects lwj in fights a lot but thats narratively less important#except the various times wwx puts himself in danger to help lwj. those times are what made it so lwj could never move on from wwx#like with the cave incident#or when wwx helped surpress the arm instead of using the chaos to escape cloud recesses#tldr i guess: i think this fandom tends to treat lwj being the best like its natural to him when really wwx accidentaly rewired his brain#I'm looking directly at fanfic writers who act like the Lans would've treated wwx better than the Jiangs#lwj had to do so much work and self reflection post meeting wwx to be the way he is. he is not the sole product of the Lan teachings
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Mizuki and Date though like. Imagine being 8 and your parents are filthy rich and going through a bad divorce. Your mom treats you like shit, lashing out at you, hitting you, saying she wishes you were never born all because you were behaving like a child. Your dad is more comforting, but he doesn’t do anything to stop the abuse and he spends his time invested in a completely different family, a girl who you love and look up to but he loves her more than you and it fucking shows. Then your dads new friend, some fucking bachelor in his late 20s, is just like "wow you guys are the worst fucking parents ive ever seen" and next thing you know your dad is sending you off to live with him. And it’s just a massive kick in the head cuz you go from a rich lifestyle to living in some really shitty tiny ass apartment with this guy who’s clearly never been around a child in his entire life and he doesn’t know how to behave and does a really bad job of censoring himself like he has a bunch of dirty magazines that he can’t hide very well cuz it’s literally a studio apartment and also he talks to himself sometimes, it’s really weird. He doesn’t even have the slightest clue what he’s doing
And he’s the best parent you’ve ever had
Because fuck, it all really hurts. You have to cope with having never received any love from anyone, and with the fact that your parents clearly don’t want you and can’t even be bothered to send you with anyone even kinda responsible. And this guy has a scary job with crazy hours and you don’t know anything about him and neither does he. But still, he never once hits you or tells you you’re not allowed to cry. He just gives you space and doesn’t push you to feel any sort of way about him. And sometimes, he’s even kind. He makes you some stew, even though it’s a bit chunky. He lets you sleep in the bed and takes the couch for himself, even though he complains about the massive back pain he’d never trade his spot for a second. He pays attention to events at your school and gives you your favorite stuffed animal when you make good grades, even though you called it ugly. He gets worried sick when you come home with bruises and puts on a goofy voice and trains you to defend yourself and you develop some highly deadly skills and even though it’s really abnormal, he buys you a bench press so you can get stronger. There’s this distance there, and you feel really weird caring about someone who you aren’t related to, but you find yourself wishing it was meant to be like this all along, that maybe, he’s secretly your real dad and he loves you like his real daughter
And when you say "I’m back" he says "welcome home"
#aitsf#ai the somnium files#kaname date#mizuki date#THE DATES THEY ARE MY EVERYTHING AAAAAAAAA#its so funny though like imagine being such a bad parent that some loner who jerks off all the time does a better job than you#and hes literally never interacted with children before and is later revealed to have actually been an assassin#renju and shoko really just suck huh#and i dont mean to reduce date to a porno loving loser cuz nah like hes actually got so much depth going on in this situation like he cant#remember a single thing about his past he has no frame of reference for what a family is or if hes ever had one himself#which we then learn he. kinda didnt he was an orphan with no friends no name no one who came looking for him it seems#yet he still finds himself loving and caring for this girl and would literally die over and over for her to live a happy life#hes so genuinely kind and caring and deeply lonely and unsure of himself if hes doing this right#and he feels agonizing pain when hes forced to remember that he isnt mizukis real dad and that. he has nothing#but despite that he doesnt force mizuki to return these feelings because its a lot to burden a child with and shes been through enough#its like. kaname date i love youuuu please just adopt her already 🥺
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I want to talk to you...without speaking. QUEER (2024) | dir. Luca Guadagnino
#queeredit#queer 2024#filmedit#luca guadagnino#daniel craig#drew starkey#dcraigedit#dstarkeyedit#userrobin#userbeckett#mine and only mine#my first time making gifs in 7 months#and im back with another guadagnino CLASSIC#but like god lee is just so lonely so desperate for connection#that he searches for it in every nook and cranny any man that looks his way any drug he can find#and then comes eugene a more or less willing companion#and lee's want for connection becomes even more desperate bc god there's someone who seems to finally care#someone who finally wants him back#but there's still this DISCONNECT#but finally finally they share this moment#they communicate without speaking with just their bodies#in this moment they understand each other WHOLLY on a base undeniably human level#but it's too much for eugene who runs away and doesn't realize how rare that connection was until it's too late#and lee is left alone on his LITERAL deathbed with nothing more than memories of the rare moments of love#and intimacy that he's never shared with anyone else except eugene#yeah this movie left me a wreck#anyway this sequence was gorgeous and i won't shut up abt it
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