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bonesthebeloved · 5 years ago

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It’s a fine (taped) line

Summary: In which Roman isn't doing well after the events of SVS Redux and Remus finds him in their room next to a bunchof balled up tape that had separated them for years and years. Characters: Roman and Remus (Janus mention)

Triggers/ Squicks: crying/ breakdown. Mention of weapons and (mild)violence, intrusive thoughts, sea monster, swimming in natural water, eyes. (if I missed anything/ you’d like me to tag anything let me know.)

Words:2881 (I didn’t spell check this. We die like men.)

He was afraid

It hadn't been quite as long as he'd liked since the last time he'd been afraid like this. Not even a full week.

Afraid like a shiver that ran deep until you were sure you could hear your skeleton rattle. Afraid like laboured quite breathing and wide eyes staring into unseeing darkness and even more unseeing void.

Afraid like standing on the plank with a sword poking in your back and hungry sharks beneath you.

Afraid like he was now, standing in a well lit room accompanied by two other sides and Thomas himself. In the middle of the day with the doors safely locked and his Katana at his side.

He shouldn't be afraid.

Uncertain. Angry, yes. Maybe even hurt. But afraid should not apply to this situation. After all there was no threat.

Yet he felt it. And he knew his voice would be shaking even before he'd opened his mouth to speak. And he knew his hands would be shaking even before he lifted them to cover his mouth. And he knew that and he knew that and he knew-

He didn't know anything anymore.

"You are!" came a shout. Almost sounding desperate enough to be genuine . Almost sounding certain enough to be true.

But Roman was afraid. And he was shaking when he looked over for confirmation to the side that had cracked his trust beyond repair because how else would he know if it really was genuine and certain enough. How else would he-

He'd never have guessed that a single nod would be the thing that would shatter the cracked funhouse mirror. Never would've guessed that the only thing standing between him and the hungry sharks below would be the incline of a head. The confirmation of a lie.

So he sunk out with a last scoff at their hosts expression. Seeing the tiniest of cracks forming would've concerned him to no end if he himself wasn't completely shattered at that moment.

And when he popped into his room he looked at where he was standing. The edge of the plank. Toes nearly touching the line of white tape seperating the two sides of the room. One messy, clothes on piles and crumpled up paper all over the floor. Bed unmade and in need of a change of sheets. Curtains still drawn and houseplants dying.

The other half belonged to Remus.

And there, on the edge of the plank, with noise coming from the bathroom attached to their room and Remus his pet rat squeaking happily while running around the bed, Roman bowed down and, getting a good grip on an edge of it, ripped the tape away from the floor, shattering the imaginary barrier and the line he'd set for himself.

When he had taken of all the tape, all of it a sticky, bawled up mess on the floor now, he dropped to his knees, slowly lowering his head to the floor aswell and leaning it against the carpet, closing his eyes.

And he cried. Not dramatic and loud wailing like would be expected. No, his crying was quiet. Almost deadly so as the tears dropped down his face and onto the carpet. As he gripped his hair to stop himself from hitting the floor. And he pulled his hair to stop himself from pouncing his fist on it.

And when the bathroom door opened he stopped, still pulling and still silent and facing away from whoever had just walked in.

The side stopped in their tracks too. Still by the bathroom. Hand probably still on the door handle, hair probably still wet, eyes probably trying to communicate with their brain about what it is their seeing.

Because Remus had walked in on his brother on the floor which was devoid of tape. The tape of which he’d tried to convince his brother was the spot an invisible lazer beam would kill the first person that walked over it.

Because Remus had walked in on his brother while he was crying.

Because Roman never cried infront of him. Not since they had been kids and they’d learned to hate eachother once drawings of nightterrors and bloody zombies became ‘bad’ instead of just ‘creative’.

Because Remus was hurrying over to his brother now, falling onto his knees with a loud smack and feeling the carpetburn set in already as he shuffled closer, a hand outstretched as both a warning and a question.

When Roman shrugged his shoulder away from the hand close to it Remus nodded silently and let it drop to his side. No touching then. Alright.

“That bad huh?” He grimaced at the words. Too loud in the now deadly quiet room.

Roman simply let a hollow laugh echoe through it and Remus swore they’d never had an echoe before but then again their room changed all the time.

Like how the glow in the dark stars had changed into swirling galaxy above his bed and how Roman tore down his posters every month to rearange them.

Like how the white tape that had been there for years was now suddenly gone.

“Wanna talk about it?”

A short silence that stretched out just long enough for Remus to take another breath to offer to distract his brother instead when suddenly:

“I’m not his hero anymore.”

Remus saw it now, the outlines of the shattered mirror his brother had become.

He didn't like it one bit.

"I'm sure that's just good ol' Double D's messing with your head of course your his he-" "Janus."

Remus was silent then, slowly sinking down to sit infront of his brother, careful not to cross the now nonexistent line theyd set for themselves so long ago.

"Pardon?"

"He's called Janus. He told us so you don't have to act like you don't know his name anymore Rem. He told us. The fucker told us."

"That's... Good right?"

Roman laughed, the sound hollow and joyless, before muttering the most quiet 'yeah right' and letting his head drop again, still sitting in the middle of the room that used to be seen as two. The room that now lacked the devider.

"He called me evil." And there it was. The issue that Roman was struggling with the most, laid out in the open raw and ugly in the dim light of the room.

"Did he now? What'd he say exactly. Because, if I know one thing, it's that Dee only says shit like that as a joke or when something seriously messed up was said to him and I'm assuming the later didn't happen so-"

"I laughed at his name." Roman said numbly, the monotone voice nearly as terrifying as the one full of pain from just seconds ago.

"Well of course you did! It's a stupid name! It sounds like he's a middle school libr-" "Librarian yeah. I said the same thing."

Remus opened his mouth to speak again, to return to his way of comforting his brother which was distraction by blatant mockery.

But then...

"And that's the problem Re. That's the whole damn problem."

"What is?"

"He called me evil Re."

"I mean yeah you've told me already what you hit your head or some-"

"He compared me to you."

Ah.

Right.

That.

'Well fuck you too Ro!' Remus said. Only he didn't say that because what kind of a brother would he be.

Because Roman, after all these years, still didn't get it. Still thought of him as evil and himself as good. Still stuck in the black and white, the good and evil narrative that they were taught since they were able to count to two.

And oh Remus wanted to slap his brother for that. Wanted to give him a good shake and ask him who the hell he thought he was.

But Roman was crying at the thought of being compared to him.

And while that idea made him sick to his stomach, Roman was still crying. And he was still his brother, even if it ment being hated so viscously that the mere thought of being like him caused a breakdown this severe.

Even if his own brother seemed to want him gone.

"Then he's even dumber then his name Ro."

Roman looked up at that, snot and tears mixing under his nose and on his hand as he wiped it away. Looking pathetic as ever but the little spark of hope the sentence had created was present. And that's all he needed.

"Have you seen yourself? Of course you're not evil! You're basically prince charming except gayer! Ha! Can you even imagine an evil Prince Eric? Of course you can't because it's ridiculous!"

A huff of air from Romans nose then. And it wasn't quite a laugh sure. But it was a start. And Remus could work with just a start.

What he couldn't work with though, was no response beside just that puff of air. The silence in the room seeming to press down on him. Threatening to squish him flat like a pancake. Squashing him so hard that his eyeballs popped out and-

Right. Sad brother. Focus Remus focus.

"Hey I've got an idea."

Twenty minutes later and they stood in the imagination, his brothers eyes still red rimmed and he himself repressing the urge to make a comment about how it matched his colour scheme and how he should really put some blood splatters here and there for another pop of colour.

"Why are we here again?" Roman said into the cold misty evening. Slowly feeling his shoes soak up the water, his socks getting a bit wet.

"To scream." Remus said, gesturing towards the giant lake infront of them. The fog hanging low over it giving it both a mythical and horror movie esque feeling. Though with Romans current mood, horror movie was probably more likely.

"... To scream?"

"Yeah! I saw a man do that in a movie once after his daughter got killed by a man with a butchers knife. It looked awesome there was blood all over the kitchen walls and her head was-" "Don't spoil the movie for me Rem."

'Don't spoil it for me' had become Roman’s go to way of nicely telling his brother to shut the fuck up. Remus saw right through it of course. His brother would never watch slasher films after all. They made him have nightmares. But he appreciated the vague form of effort none the less.

"Just scream at the damn lake Ro. I didn't take you out here just so you could complain."

Roman looked at him weirdly, though decided that 'fuck it' seemed to be the mood he was going for today, stepped forward towards the edge of the lake, and screamed at the top of his lungs.

His voice broke several times while he did so. The scream sounding more and more choked up the longer it went on for, so much so that Remus started to wonder if his brother was losing his voice when he finslly fell silent and the quiet came back to press down on them.

Remus came to stand next to his brother, looking at him, at the tears streaming down his face and at how his eyebrows seemed to be trying to recreate the Nike symbol.

At how he was slightly shaking and standing just a smudge too close to the water.

At how his expression changed from pained to surprised to shocked when Remus pushed him into the ice cold lake.

At how this might be how he made his brother atleast a bit happy again. After a while of cursing and splashing around he got used to it, standing till his waist in the water and looking at his brother until finally he too jumped in, water splashing everywhere as he did so.

Roman snapped his fingers, the both of them now in diving suits rather than their normal outfits.

He ignored Remus his complains about how he'd rather swim naked as he came up to him and dunked his head under the water again. A fight breaking lose that had water splashing everywhere and curious woodland creatures come out of the woods to watch the two rulers of their kingdom seemingly get along for once.

Remus noticed how, after a minute or so, the deer suddenly fled. Not thinking much of it as he summoned a huge water gun and blasted it straight into Romans face.

Roman noticed, a moment later, how all the rabbits and squirrels and mice and rats fled aswell. Looking around for a moment but getting distracted when Remus summoned Poseidon trident to make a wave.

The twins both noticed how the birds also fled when the water began to ripple in a way that wasn't caused by them. How the water underneath them suddenly got darker as a huge shadow swam circles in the lake.

The both looked at eachother with wide eyes as they swam to the edge, summoning their respective weapons.

"Remus?"

"Hm?"

"Did you maybe forget to mention something when we came here?"

"I-... Mightve forgotten about me trying to recreate the log Ness monster yes."

"Wait, you made Nessy?!"

As if on queue, the giant seacreature emerged from the surface, scales glittering as the sunlight hit them. Green and blue and purple making for quite a beautiful image weren't it for the razor sharp teeth and monstrous features that came along with it.

"This is one hell of a way to distract me Rem." Roman said, rolling his shoulders as he held out his sword.

"... You're welcome?" Remus said, eyes flicking from the rip off Nessy to his brother and back as the monster growled and came closer.

"Alright then. Let's do this." Roman said, voice low and dangerous, bending his knees slightly as if preparing to dash away.

"Let's kick some ass!" Remus said. Surprised but not put off by this new development in his plans to cheer up his brother. If screaming at a lake would always lead him to a monster fight then he'd have to do this more often!

They set foot in their room four hours later. Both of them completely soaked, Roman wearing a small satisfied smile while Remus just looked grumpy.

They both flopped down on their respective beds, Remus his rat looking up in shock before quickly darting over to go and Greet its owner who just huffed and reluctantly petted the thing.

"That was fun." Roman said into the now quiet air.

"For you maybe! I had to watch how you 'calmed down' Nessy instead of taking part in the bloody fight I'd been hoping for!"

"Nessy did nothing to us she didn't deserve to get hurt."

"She nearly bit my arm off!!"

"Yeah? Well that's your fault for trying to poke her with your mace."

A strangely comfortable silence fell over the room then. And Remus began to slowly realise something. The realisation not quite there yet but almost.

Almost.

"... Thank you Rem. That was... Nice."

Ah. He got it now.

"Yeah well, at least I don't have to watch you cry on the floor anymore hm dipshit?"

"With how things are going, I think you'll see that more often than not. Asshat."

They both laughed, quiet and only partly sarcastic.

And Remus smiled into the quite. Pulling his legs up so his brother wouldn't see it.

"Hey Ro?"

"Hmm? You're not evil okay? He just said that cuz you hurt him a bit."

"Hmm. I should apoligise shouldn't I?"

Remus smiled again at that. Sitting up after he realised that he didn't mind his brother seeing him happy. Enjoyed it even.

"Oh I'm sure he'll show up at the door with a basket of fruit and a heartfelt letter next thing in the morning." Roman sat up too then. A small, unsure smile on his face.

And Remus realised he didn't mind seing his brother happy, either.

Enjoyed it even.

"And if you want. I can punch a little sense into him if he doesn't, and we'll go and look for another lake to scream at, how bout that."

"That'd be nice Rem."

And then Roman did something neither of them had done in a very long time.

He got up from the bed, brushing off his wrinkled clothes and, one step at a time, inched closer to the now non-existent barrier.

"Ro what are you-"

And then Roman was infront of him. On his side. Leaning over him slightly with his arms outstretched the tiniest bit.

"You're not evil either Rem. You never were."

Remus hadn't hugged his brother in over ten years.

But now here Roman was, carefully wrapping his arms around him after getting a nod of approval. Carefully tightening them and laying his head on his brothers shoulder. Squeezing him a little bit as Remus returned the hug hesitantly.

And nothing had been resolved. Nothing had been talked out or solved and things might only get worse before they get better but they were hugging and that was something at least.

And they'd been living in the same room for as long as they'd existed. Always there, always together.

And yet...

"I missed you Roman."

"I missed you too, brother."

This has been in my drafts for month I hope it's alright-ish at least.

Tags: @purp-man @sapphire-knight @ragingdumpsterfiremess @chronophobica @lance-alt @mylifeisadeceit @itriedandimtired

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emzaaaa · 5 years ago

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I broke up with my 6 year relationship.

I need to talk about it.

I met my ex when I was 19 years old. I had just moved to Orlando, FL from a small midwest town. I hadn’t been in a serious relationship before and I honestly wasn’t looking for anything. We met working at Disney World under fireworks. We talked about music and instantly were hooked on eachother. I remember them asking me if I wanted to hang out and in my oblivious mind, I thought it was just that. A hang out.

We went to this vegan kitchen and decided to walk in this cute little park across the street. All of a sudden I felt a hand grab mine. At that time is when I knew something was going to come out of this day. Damn. 6 years later and I’m a completely different person.

The first year and a half was a dream. They constantly told me they loved me, we cuddled all the time, they made me FEEL loved and I constantly wanted to be near them. Nothing else mattered but them.

Two years in is when they threw a bomb into our relationship. Something huge came to light that I wont share on this just because it’s not my story to tell. Before this, it was something that was apart of them but nothing came of it. Now they needed this. I was so excited for this bomb and I couldn’t wait to support and be there for them throughout the entire new chapter.

Three years in is when we finally got our very own apartment together. The first two years we actually lived with their mother. You’d think that would be weird but I honestly loved it. She became my mom too. That’s honestly one of the hardest parts of this breakup. I have to separate her from my life and journey and that’s heart wrenching. This was a very exciting year for us. We experienced so many new things together with this apartment and learned and grew so much from it. Everything was so exciting. We were truly building a foundation. I remember one morning I woke up and they came into the room, taking a break from video games, and said “Let’s get married” Now, I know they werent being serious but I will always remember this morning. It gave me a glimpse of hope. This apartment was a tiny 500 square foot apartment but it was huge for our relationship.

Four years in is when we decided to move out of Orlando.We both felt our journey was ending in that city and needed to start a new chapter. We set our eyes on Portland, Oregon. We had something to get excited about. We took a very spontaneous trip to Portland for a weekend and instantly fell in love with the area. We loved everything about it and just how liberal and chill everything was in that state... literally the definition of our relationship so far. A few months before we needed to tell our landlord that we werent resigning I felt our relationship start to crack. We started fighting more and more. We were getting annoyed with each other for silly things. We’d have fights but by the next day we were completely fine and comfortable again. I remember asking myself if I really wanted to sign another lease with this person. Ultimately, I felt my ex and I were endgame and were forever. So I pushed away all doubts and continued on with our plans. By this time moving to Portland wasn’t feasible but we still wanted to get out of Florida. Out of options, we decided to move to my hometown of Des Moines, Iowa. I hadn’t lived there for almost 5 years and my ex had never been there. So it was a new experience for both of us.

Five years in we were moving to Iowa. From the outside perspective we were very excited. We were doing something new and unfamiliar to us. This was a turning point in our relationship. There was a reason I moved OUT of Iowa. I hated the Midwest. I was so miserable before... why would I move back. By the second month of living back in Iowa, all I saw was darkness. I didn’t want to be in that state anymore. I told my ex I wanted to move back to Florida but they didn’t want to regress like that. Their time in Orlando was over. Which I get.. it’s the same thing I was experiencing with Iowa. At this time my ex was also getting very depressed with their own shit going on. I felt like we were pulling apart from each other. Usually my ex loved to play video games but it felt like it consumed them. They use to tell me what they were doing online or something funny that happened.. all of a sudden that stopped. It almost felt like we were roommates. I’d go to bed alone and wake up alone. It felt so strange because on the other side of the wall there was my ex living in a completely different world. And I wasn’t invited. Our fighting became more and more.

Have you ever heard of jumping the shark? Where a tv show will do something crazy when they feel like the end is near... hoping to get more views and prolong the inevitable. Well... getting a dog was our jumping the shark. I had wanted a dog since two years into our relationship. It was never gonna happen in Florida.. just because the cost of living mixed with dog expenses would be insane. Living in Iowa, cost of living is nothing compared to Orlando. We finally had extra money in our pockets. Christmas came around and they got me my dream dog.. a corgi named Billie. She became my new love and she was all I wanted. I honestly don’t know why they got me a dog. Because thats all that happened. They never shared in anything else. I went to to all the vet visits, I bought her puppy training classes and taught her a few tricks, I bought her everything she has. To this day the only thing they have done is buy her and buy half the spay. They never tried to be involved at all. I wont lie though.. I’m so thankful for my ex because they brought Billie into my life. Billie saved my life. I had something to throw all my love and support to.

Five and a half years in we moved again.. staying in Iowa. I wanted to move out of state but it just wasn’t in our cards. I went back to college, thinking maybe if I did something with my life I’d be happy again. That didn’t work. I hated everything and I brought that into my relationship, I’ll admit. This past November/December we were fighting every week to the point of us calling it quits each week. At this point we never cuddled, everytime I tried to kiss them they would put their cheek out for me to kiss, I didn’t even remember the last time they freely told me they loved me. They didn’t seem interested in anything I was doing or wanted to do and didn’t support me with anything either. We had no communication.

At this point of the relationship I felt like nothing. I felt so unwanted. My self esteem was zero. I did everything for this person.. why didn’t they do something.. anything in return.

One story. Valentines Day this past year. I was so excited for it. I thought I could finally put some romance back in this relationship and help fix it. I planned this day for weeks. I bought them a dozen red roses and left a cute note telling them how beautiful they were and how much I truly did love them. I had to go to work that day but I begged my leaders to be let out early. It was approved and I eagerly bought ingredients for a new recipe that I knew theyd love. I came home and nothing was said about the flowers. Totally fine. I was cool about it. They went to go get their car fixed which took hours. Thinking it was Valentines Day and we needed to be together.. I went with. After we got back I made dinner and we ate and drank a bottle of wine. We decided to watch a movie and they got angry with me because I interrupted the movie. I remember how my heart plummeted and I slowly got up.. grabbed the gift I was going to give them and hid that it in the closet. I went to bed early. They never once told me they loved me or did anything special. Never even thanked me for dinner or helped with the dishes.

Exactly one month ago. I went MIA and ran to my parents house because I finally was realizing there was no relationship left. I should have ended things a long time ago but I never did. I didn’t want to be alone. I’m terrified of being alone. But one day at work everyone was talking about their partners and I just had a realization.. “I don’t feel the way everyone else does about their partners” That mixed with how my partner was treating me.. I ran to my parents for a night to get my head straight. I refused to text them.. I just needed to figure things out.

The next day I came home and we sat down and talked. I told them how I didn’t see us being together and that I felt like I was holding them back. They were about to completely alter their life and I knew how they had been confused on things within the relationship. It wasn’t fair to me. Their issues with themself wasn’t an excuse for them to be absent. I need someone to be completely sure about me. I’m a fucking catch. Together we realized the relationship was over.

The next morning I didn’t believe it. We fought all the time and “broke up” quite a few times.. all ending the same.. us being completely fine the next day. The week after that we had serious talks for hours every night just hashing things out and just trying to understand what went wrong. My ex has huge communication problems. This week after the breakup is when they finally opened up their soul to me and told me everything that was confusing them.

I realized I don’t fit in with their life. I was the reason they stopped something that they needed in the beginning of the relationship and I will always hold onto that.. if they had kept with it.. what would have been of this relationship now? Cryptic, right? This whole thing is probably.. but I need this.

In the month of being broken up and being single.. I’ve learned so many things about myself. I realized it was the fear of being alone that kept me from truly ending things. I should have ended things a long time ago... honestly in Orlando. I saw so many red flags that I kept pushing away. I have so much love for my ex. I support them and I can’t wait to see what comes of their life in these next few years.

This past month of being broken up has brought things out that I am not proud of either. I tried for almost six years to get my ex to open their soul and truly connect with me.. this girl comes into their life a few months ago and instant connection. To say Im jealous and to say that that ruined this whole breakup for me... yeah that would be true. I wanted to be loving and in their life still.. but now there is no room for that because this girl took my spot. Because of this I had done things I wasn’t proud of out of pure jealousy. After a week of denial and crying all day in bed I finally felt a new emotion: rage. I felt angry. Angry that my ex didn’t want to try and actually get down to the core and fix things.. they just wanted to throw it in the trash. I threw all gifts they got me away.. I said hurtful things.. I tried throwing away things I got them.. I was just so angry. I needed to feel something other than denial and sadness. The next day I felt so content and like maybe it would be okay. Don’t get me wrong I am completely humiliated on how I acted and what I did.. but it was so needed for me to be at this point in the breakup. If I didn’t have that night I would still be in bed crying begging them to fix things. I think I was in denial because it was my idea to break up the first night and then realized I was going to be alone the next day and regretted saying I didn’t think we should be together. But I’m so glad I did. I built up the courage to say out loud what I was thinking for months.. even years. Sure, things ending hurt my soul and I’m broken because of it... but things needed to end. I need to find someone who loves me the way I want to be loved and deserved to be loved.

Whats happening now? I’m moving on to new things. I’m moving back to Orlando for myself. I’m excited to live in a city I loved and not have a relationship consume me. I’m excited to say YES to everything and not no because I want to go back home and be with my love. I’m relearning who I am. I completely lost myself to someone who didn’t feel the same. I have to fix my self esteem and outlook on life. I have to learn to love myself again. And I’m so excited to do so. I’m a fucking bad bitch and I’m so excited to see what I do next.

Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk.

#break up #long term relationship #love

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writingfortoomanyfandoms · 6 years ago

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Five Ways of Saying I Love You

Pairing: Ben Hardy!Roger Taylor x Reader

Summary: Five ways that Roger shows her he loves her

Requested: No

Warnings: Swearing

A/N: Sorry it’s been a few days since I’ve posted anything - please let me know what you think of it! I love hearing what all of you have to say about my writing! And remember that I reply with my main blog @ijustreallylovezebras, I hope you all had wonderful days xx

Roger wasn’t good with telling Y/N he loved her. She knew he did, and she knew that she loved him too - he was well aware of it as well, she was constantly reminding him. Roger just wasn’t good at saying it.

He could show it though, he was really good at showing it.

“I’m going to really miss you,” Y/N sighed, resting her head on his bare chest, tracing careful shapes onto his pale skin. Roger twined his fingers through her hair, gently tugging the knots out of it.

“I’m going to miss you too, Princess,” he murmured, lacing his free hand with her small one - the one that wasn’t resting on his chest. Y/N gave their hands a squeeze before placing a gentle kiss to his hand. “You could still come with me, the boys wouldn’t mind - they’d love it to be honest,” Roger said and Y/N moved her head to give him a sad smile.

“I can’t do that, Rog,”

“I know, it’s a nice thought though,” Roger sighed, squeezing her hand again.

“What time are you leaving, again?” She asked, cuddling closer into his chest.

“Six in the morning,” Roger groaned. “I’ll leave you asleep, Princess,”

“Don’t! I want to say goodbye to you,” Y/N whined, kissing his bare skin and Roger shivered at the action, a soft smile forming on his face again.

“Six is really early, Darling,” he pointed out but Y/N shook her head.

“It’s worth it for you,” she declared and Roger chuckled.

“You’re so cute,”

“I love you,” Roger hugged her a little tighter and he felt her smile against his chest.

The next morning, Roger woke at five, carefully sliding out from under his girlfriend, who was asleep on his chest. He brushed some hair from her face, smiling down at her, feeling himself falling further in love with her. He changed quickly, running a brush through his hair.

“Princess?” Roger whispered, gently shaking her shoulder. Y/N let out a quiet moan as she blinked her eyes open. A wide smile took over her face upon seeing Roger and she reached up to rub her eyes but Roger caught her hands in his. “Don’t wake up properly, Y/N/N, I’m leaving now okay? Go back to sleep and I’ll see you in six weeks,” he said, keeping his voice low and quiet before leaning to press a kiss against her forehead. Then he straightened up, turning to leave the room.

“Wait - Rog!” Y/N called, swinging her legs out of bed and running to him, jumping up to hug him from behind.

“Princess,” Roger laughed, turning around and hugging her back tightly. “I’ll miss you,” he said and Y/N looked up, eyes cloudy, and pressed her lips firmly against his.

“I’ll miss you too,” she whispered. Roger gave her a gentle smile, kissing her once more.

“Get some rest, Princess,”

“Rock the world, Rog,”

“Just for you, Y/N/N,” he murmured and then picked her up, placing her back under the covers and kissing her forehead. “Have a good day at work,”

“I love you,” she called quietly as he left the room. Roger turned only to blow her another kiss, the words drying up in his mouth.

When Y/N woke later that morning, a sadness weighed on her chest upon remembering the absence of Roger’s presence. She sighed and pushed herself out of bed, wrapping herself up in one of his jumpers that he had left behind. She trudged into the kitchen, and stopped, her brows furrowing at the appearance of a box on the table with her name scrawled across the top in Roger’s messy handwriting.

She opened it and her eyes welled up with tears at the image of dozens of envelopes each addressed to her.

Even though he didn’t say it very much, Y/N could tell that Roger loved her.

Since going on tour two weeks ago, Roger had called Y/N up every night without fail to talk to her and ask about her day, make sure she was okay and happy and not missing him too much. The last question always made her laugh, because of course she was missing him an extraordinarily large amount. But tonight Roger had warned her that he probably wouldn’t be able to call, as the boys were all going to a party that started straight after the concert, the time that Roger usually reserved for talking to the love of his life.

Which was why Y/N was confused as to why the phone was ringing.

“Rog? Aren’t you at a party?” Y/N asked as she furrowed her brows and tugged her hand through her messy hair.

“Yeah - I just missed you too much,” she could tell from the slight slur of his voice that he was drunk.

“I miss you too, Rog,”

“I felt bad for not calling you tonight,” he explained, sounding disappointed in himself. Y/N gave a quiet laugh, shaking her head.

“You have a busy life, Darling, you don’t need to worry about it,” she assured him and Roger whined a little.

“You’re too good for me,” he declared. Y/N laughed, shaking her head despite knowing that Roger wouldn’t be able to see her.

“That’s the opposite of true,”

“You’re perfect,”

“You’re so cute,” she told him. “But you should definitely go enjoy your party,”

“I have more fun talking to you than I have at any party,” Roger informed her seriously and Y/N giggled at his words.

“If you don’t go to the party then you know Freddie will give both of us a hard time about it,” Y/N pointed out. Roger groaned.

“I just miss you so so so so so much,”

“I miss you lots too,” Y/N’s voice was quiet and Roger easily picked up on her sad tone.

“Don’t be sad!” He demanded. “I’ll be back before you know it,”

“I love you,” Roger smiled, as he always did when Y/N told him that.

“I don’t want to hang up,” Roger pouted and Y/N chuckled. Roger could almost see her shaking her head at him.

“Go and have fun, Rog, I don’t want to hold you back,”

“You never hold me back! I like talking to you!” He protested. Y/N covered her mouth to contain her joyful giggle.

“You’re very drunk, Rog,”

“Calling you was all I could think about,” he admitted quietly in response. Silence settled over the phone as his words sunk in. Y/N bit her lip to stop her smile from stretching too wide. “You’re all I think about,”

Y/N grinned as her took the box from the postman, nodding her thanks to him.

“Have a nice day,” she called after him as he set off back down her driveway. He paused to wave back at her but Y/N had already turned around, eager to open the package.

She had somewhat anticipated it’s arrival - Roger had been dropping hints for the past week, ever since he called her drunk only two weeks into the tour to tell her how much he missed her.

So she had expected something. A letter or a postcard. While Roger had provided her with a shoebox full of letters at the beginning of his tour, he always sent her either a post card or a letter when the boys neared their halfway point. He always admitted to her that he found his written word easier to express his feelings with.

Y/N rumaged through her kitchen draws and picked out a knife, slicing open the box with ease and folding the flaps over, being greeted immediately by the expected postcard.

She turned it over in excitement.

Hey Princess,

For some reason this tour I’m missing you now more than ever - from our conversations it seems as though you’re feeling the same. So I’ve been buying shit along the way that I thought would either cheer you up or make you think of me or laugh or something. Don’t want my girl missing me too much.

Always yours,

Rog

As always, he had signed off the note with a smily face and three kisses. Y/N beamed at the message, feeling her eyes brim with tears at the thoughtfulness of her boyfriend.

Inside the box lay a teddybear with a cheesy ‘I love you!” shirt on, a pair of drumsticks, one of which had been broken (this was accompanied by another note explaining how Roger had broken them in a show when he was missing her particularly much, a story that, while cute, Y/N didn’t believe for a second as she knew it was the pair that John had told her Roger through at Brian’s head during an argument), there was three of his button up shirts, a box of chocolates and two books that Y/N had been wanting to read for a while but had never gotten around to purchasing.

She stepped away from the box, holding the bear in her hands and hugged it tightly to her chest, letting out soft sobs as she felt the full weight of Roger’s love for her.

Since Roger had returned from tour a week and a half ago, everything had been perfect. Almost perfect. Y/N had been feeling as though she had hardly seen her boyfriend, he was always practicing with the band and, while she understood that the band was important, one of the most important things in Roger’s life, she had missed him.

After expressing these feelings to Roger the previous evening, he had invited his girlfriend to join the band at practice the following day, once Y/N had finished her shift at work. He had been feeling much the same as she had, if he was being honest. While he understood Freddie’s keenness to write the next album so they could start recording ASAP, he wanted nothing more than to spend a little while with Y/N in the comfort of their home.

She was his priority.

“Y/N!” John was the first to notice her presence as she awkwardly moved into the room. John and Y/N had always been close - the two more soft-spoken members of their band-family had gravitated towards each other in a way that Roger had only hoped they would.

Roger raised his eyebrows as the bassist was quick to cross the room and embrace his girlfriend in a hug.

“Rog said you were coming today!” John beamed. Said drummer stood from behind his kit and joined the two. Freddie gave a dramatic sigh before giving in and joining the group, seeing Brian placing down his guitar as well.

Roger was quick to place his arm around her waist and kiss her cheek. an action that she grinned at, leaning further into his loving touch.

“She’s my priority,” Roger pointed out to John.

“What about the band?” Freddie asked with a raised eyebrow, quickly hugging Y/N in greeting.

“The band’s my other priority, obviously. I play better with her here anyway,” Roger declared, winking at his girlfriend, who shoved his shoulder playfully, the action making him laugh.

“I’m already in love with you, Rog, you don’t need to flirt to bad anymore,” Y/N teased and Roger chuckled, kissing her lips.

“Has he even told you he loves you back?” John asked Y/N later, when Roger and Brian had both returned to their instruments, trying to fit the song together. Freddie was sat in the corner, listening to them with his eyes closed, calculating their next move in the song, as he often did.

“Yeah he has,” Y/N assures her friend quickly.

“He didn’t say it earlier, that’s all,” Y/N smiled at John, shaking her head a little.

“Rog doesn’t like saying it so much - but I know it anyway, he makes sure of it,”

“How’d you mean?”

“It’s the little things, Deaky, like inviting me here today, just so we could spend more time together, or like yesterday when he came home even just an hour earlier to help me cook because he knew I’d been feeling down,”

“That’s sweet,” Y/N’s eyes wandered over to Roger, as they always did. Her blond haired drummer caught her eye and offered her a playful wink, causing the smile to widen on her face.

“I’m just lucky I guess,”

Roger grinned when he entered his house to be greeted by the smell of a home cooked meal.

“Princess?” He called, slipping his shoes off of his feet. “I’m home!”

“I’m in the kitchen,” Roger followed the sound of her voice, smiling even wider as he saw her, wrapping his arms around her from behind and bringing her into a tight hug, feeling her relaxing back into his arms.

“It smells good,” he commented, spinning her around and kissing her. Y/N wound her arms around his neck, smiling up at him before leaning up on her tiptoes again to press another kiss to his lips.

“Thanks, how are the boys? Practice?” Her voice was quiet, content and the soft tones of it helped to relax Roger.

“Stressful - Freddie’s being a dick, he was late again, and then shit all over our ideas,”

“You didn’t fight him did you?”

“No,” Roger paused, mulling over his thoughts. “I don’t think it’s his fault anyway,”

“Paul?” Y/N asked and Roger nodded, leaning down to kiss her again.

“He’s changing Freddie,” the drummer sighed and Y/N gave a sad nod.

“Bring him back, Rog, I know you can,”

“I’m so glad I have you in my life,” Roger commented as he watched Y/N draw away from him, plating up dinner. She looked at him over her shoulder, smiling wide.

“You’re such a dork, how could anyone mistake you for a rock king,” she teased. Roger let out a laugh, shaking his head.

“I am a rock legend,” Roger was quick to disagree.

“Who likes to have his hair plaited,” Y/N was laughing as she placed the plates on the table. Roger squeezed her sides as he walked past her and she squealed away from him, glaring at her boyfriend who just gave her a cheeky grin in reply.

“I’m only a sap for you,”

“That’s... reassuring?” She questioned, cocking an eyebrow. Roger beamed and nodded.

“I love you,” he says suddenly. Y/N’s head snapped up. “I know I don’t say it much but I do,”

“I know you do, Rog,” she said, reaching over the table and grabbing his hand. “And I love you too, you don’t need to say it if you don’t want to,”

“It’s not that I don’t want to, it’s just that sometimes the words don’t seem enough and... you can fake words,” he said. Y/N squeezed his hand tightly, never wanting to let him go.

“I know, Rog. But it’s okay, I understand,”

“You’re my favourite person on Earth,”

“You’re mine as well,”

#queen #roger taylor #roger taylor fic #roger taylor fanfic #roger taylor fanfiction #roger taylor imagine #roger taylor imagines #roger taylor x reader #ben hardy!roger taylor #ben hardy! roger taylor

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01010010-posts · 6 years ago

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— am I your future?

request: Okay but pls imagine the rk's meeting an ex-boyfriend of readers... Like theyre home alone for the day and a stranger comes up to the door and theyre like "whomst the fuck" and then he reveals he's readers ex and he wants to talk with them. Imagine these jealous nervous bois freaking the fuck out because AHHH READER USED TO BE IN LOVE WITH THIS OTHER GUY AND HOW HE'S H E R E... And like what if theyd heard of this ex and knew he was bad news (im sorry im a hoe for protective/jealous rks...)

is this ok?? you wanted jealous type & bad ex baby?? did i do this right??

Connor:

• “come on, ordering dessert too?” he giggles, drawing soothing circles on your back, his pupils dawdling with a dreamy gaze on your features, raptured in your love, basking in that soft tug of your mouth • you laugh, rolling your eyes “yes, dessert too” and then you mutter “since someone’s always eager to burn some calories with me” • he bites his lips, blushing a bit blue on the tip of his nose “that’s not fair at all, it’s your fault for being so cute” • “ahh now it’s my fault” you continue, his palms exploring your skin, lowering until they get in contact with your bottom • “yes, [name], it’s your fault” he murmurs near your lobe, teasing you to no end • well, no, there is an end • an end with a very distinct name and surname • “get a room, you two!” the shout of your ex between the chatter of your friends • ugh • your boyfriend goes rigid, a nervous titter, slightly embarrassed, touch lingering but devoid of the same warmth as before • perfect! just perfect! you think, you were busy having a moment but nooo of course they’re gonna ruin it • it was awkward enough when you got invited to this dinner without being told your ex was there too • but you didn’t imagine it would be this bad • don’t worry, as things can and will get worse • in fact, watch!, your last partner is slowly snaking their way to both of you, a sly grin on the face and two bottles of beer • they sit next to your precious robot, offering him to drink together, he politely refuses • “can’t taste? a shame!” that stupid no-good begins a wishy-washy speech, obviously tipsy, trying to get a reaction, probably wanting a fight • they do strike a nerve with you tho and you start tapping your nails on the marble table • he notices, analyzing you from the corner of his lashes, his chords humming off and on, not paying attention • he tries, i swear, he tries resisting and being his usual collected self • but seeing you like this? fed up? distressed? casually checking your phone while he’s stuck listening such endless ramblings • “um, sorry” he excuses himself, suddenly whisking you away from the room, hiding with you in the restroom • “what– what are you doing?” breath hitching you find yourself against the wall, trapped by his body pressed onto yours • “if your ex keeps talking I’m surely going to have a short circuit” • you snort, not expecting him to be so brash but welcoming his behaviour with a gentle cupping of his jaw • “besides” he kisses you “I was” another kiss “getting” kiss “kinda” again, a kiss “jealous”

RK900:

• he’s been waiting for the whole week, finally, a day where you two can be alone, rest, cuddle, simply indulge in each other • he’s super happy about it, he can’t stop kissing you while you’re both playing some boring board game • i mean, it’s not boring since you know, he’s a super clever AI, he can switch on your competitive side in every match • the bell?? he looks in your eyes and you in his • “are we expecting someone?” he questions and you nod in disagreement • “I’ll go get the door” he plants a tiny peck on your forehead and leaves the couch • but as soon as you hear the voice of the person behind the (now open) door your blood freezes • “baby? it’s for you” his tone is neutral but he doesn’t move, effectively blocking the entrance • you reluctantly join him on the threshold and stare at your ex • “what do you want?” you lean onto your lover, a deadly mix of fear, bad memories and utter annoyance clouds your mind • but he’s not stupid, he picks it up the moment you speak, already angry at the fact that his afternoon was ruined by some random scum • actually, not random, that’s what makes him livid • it’s your fucking ex, you had feelings, you had sex, you had a relationship • all things that you have with him now • to say he’s jealous would be terribly kind • he’s almost denting the door jamb his hand is resting on • yep speaking of that, the other free one swiftly grabs you by your hip in a lovely grip, tender, sweet, how he is • the complete contrary of your ex btw • the only time he asked you about them you got tense for the whole night • and he felt so guilty about not being more careful and so mad with your last partner • “you’ve got yourself an android? wow, sunken so low?” • you close your lids for a second and sigh in exasperation, really? very predictable • “yeah, you’re right, he treats me nice and loves me, the bar’s sunken pretty low” • this dork can’t help but let a low and quick chuckle escapes his lips • the same that go onto yours, kissing you deeply, passionately, nearly leaving you gasping • he tilts your head, caressing your cheek, then turns to the person standing on the doorway again • “i’m sorry, as my partner said before, do you truly have business here?” • your thoughts still hazy, your ex about to speak but— • he closes the door in front of their face with a loud bang

RK800-60:

• it’s a chilly summer evening, fresh breeze, a limpid sky, honestly the only thing to do is go out and enjoy detroit’s nightlife • plus, it’s your boyfriend we’re talking about, he’s the embodiment of having fun 24/24 h • you find a nice club, music not too loud but there nevertheless, if he wants he can go dancing while you’re sipping your drink • which is a thing that might or might not happen • he doesn’t want to leave you alone but gosh the beat is totally calling him • “hello, is this seat free?” • a familiar tone drills through your ears, you whip towards the sound • your ex • god, your ex • you briefly mentioned something about them to your darling but • “yes, it is” he smiles and replies, unaware of the situation • “oh but it’s you, [name]! how long has it been? six months?” • “more than that” • “seriously? time flies then!” • “you know this person, sweetie?” he half-whispers, his expression that of a lovesick puppy, already oddly getting the hint of something being wrong, probably because of your accelerated pulse he can feel with his fingers on your wrist • “y–yeah, it’s my ex—” • “so clumsy of you, [name], you should introduce me properly” • he’s dumb when he wants but not this time, his LED blaring red, fidgeting and moving closer to you, an arm around your shoulder, protecting you • “don’t worry, I can do that myself. nice to meet you, I’m [name]’s boyfriend.” • there was absolutely no need to but he did it anyway • he’s so nervous please excuse him • not only he’s jealous because he’s a champ in inferiority complex • but he’s also fuming? it’s pretty obvious how mean is this asshole you don’t have to tell him • “you’ve found someone else? thought our relationship left you quite heartbroken, but then again, you’ve always been the promiscuous type, haven’t you?” a snicker and there’s nothing after that • your android doesn’t hesitate and strikes a punch, perhaps putting too much force and fracturing their nose • he’s not even completely conscious about his action, he just felt the urge and did it, his LED slowly returning to yellow and then blue • “what the fuck—” your ex doesn’t get to finish the phrase, him grabbing the collar of their shirt, his fist feigning another hit and they put their hands to cover the face, scared, trembling • “don’t you dare approach [name] ever again, clear?” he grits through his teeth but there’s no response “I said, are we clear?” • after a feeble choked ‘yes’ he loosens the grasp, letting your old partner falling to the ground • he takes you home immediately, too pissed off to talk about what he did • he’s a bit scared you’ll scold him but there was no choice, believe him, he felt he had to • he spend the rest of the night cuddling and reassuring you

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samayla · 6 years ago

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Lemon Meringue

Here it is, folks: the opening chapter of the Lemon Meringue AU!

Thorin's hobbit is depressed. It's been a very rainy fall, but Thorin has been assured that a homemade lemon pie will help him bring Bilbo all the sunshine he needs.

AO3

This is for @shygaladriel and @angelsallfire, who provided the prompts that spawned this beast last week. I have had so much fun working on this! I’m still going strong, and I hope you guys enjoy this as much as I do!

Chapter 1

Thorin’s hobbit was depressed.

He pondered the issue while he looped wire to make a whisk for Azalea Proudfoot. The rain beating on the awning of his little blacksmith shop faded to a dull background thrum while he worked. Around and around the wire went, and so too did his thoughts, always coming back to the same, worrisome fact. His hobbit was depressed.

One loop. He wasn’t writing anymore.

Another loop. He seemed to have lost his sweet tooth entirely.

Another loop. His green thumb was likewise missing.

Another loop. It had been weeks since they’d had company at Bag End.

“I’d recognize the set of that brow anywhere.”

Startled, Thorin looked up to see Everard Bolger at his counter, shaking rain off his oilskin cloak.

“Marital troubles, I’d wager. What’d you do?”

“Nothing,” Thorin growled at once. No one could say he hadn’t been trying.

Bolger chuckled. “Son, take it from me. I’ve been married near sixty years now, and it’s almost never ‘nothing.’” The elderly hobbit flopped his soggy cloak over the edge of the counter and shuffled around the end.

“You’ll get burrs in your toe hair,” Thorin warned. Once Bolger got settled in, there would be no hope of avoiding one of his infamous lectures.

“Never you mind my toe hair, lad,” Bolger snapped, rapping his walking stick against Thorin’s work table and then perching himself on the edge of a barrel of wire clippings. “Now, tell me what’s happened.”

Thorin hooked a fresh length of wire through the tops of his loops and twisted it to make the base of a handle and buy himself time to think. At last, he asked, “Do you remember last spring?”

Bolger’s impatient scowl melted away at once. “He’s not ill again, is he?”

“No,” Thorin hastened to assure him. He took up another length of wire to wind around the handle. “On our journey, there was an… incident. We were taken prisoner. Bilbo singlehandedly saved our entire company, but he nearly died in the aftermath.” Thorin cleared his throat. He’d nearly died again last spring. It made him panicky just to think of it. “Pneumonia,” he managed after a moment.

“And now he’s susceptible,” Bolger supplied.

“Exactly.”

“And you’re worried about this run of weather we’ve had lately.”

Around and around Thorin wrapped the wire, coiling it into a neat, sturdy handle for the whisk. He didn’t answer the hobbit. It hadn’t been a question.

Bolger nodded to himself after a minute, and his tone turned sharp once more. “And you’ve told him he has to stay indoors for his health, have you?”

“Of course not,” Thorin snapped. “I would never — I wouldn’t —” He stopped himself and took a deep breath. He felt like he was losing Bilbo all over again. He had to remind himself that he wasn’t, and that Bolger could possibly help. “I only… I told him how worried I was, and he said he’d stay in. He seemed fine for the first few days, but then I caught him digging through our things from our journey one afternoon. I thought maybe he meant to work on his book, but he hasn’t touched it, and I feel like he’s barely spoken to me since. He isn’t interested in cooking, or taking care of the flowers I bring him, or having company over to Bag End… I just…”

Thorin fell silent. He could feel the elderly hobbit’s eyes on him as he finished winding the handle of the whisk.

“Well,” Bolger said after a minute or two, “you may have married a Baggins in name, but that lad is half a Took, and that lot has never been very good at sitting still.”

Thorin nodded without looking up. He’d heard plenty such whispers about adventurous Tooks and what a waste of a Baggins it was and how only the son of the notorious Belladonna Took could have married a dwarf, of all creatures.

“You know what to do then, don’t you?”

“If I knew, I’d be doing it,” Thorin growled, chucking the finished whisk into a crate with the rest of Azalea’s order. He slumped at the table with his head in his hands.

“None of that now,” Bolger scolded, rapping Thorin soundly across the shoulders with his walking stick. Thorin surged to his feet in indignation, but Bolger plowed on with the self-assurance only extreme age could bestow. “You don’t know what to do, lad, then you ask one of us who does.”

Bolger just stared at him expectantly until Thorin sighed and sat. “What do you suggest I do, Master Bolger?” he asked in his most placating tone.

The hobbit nodded approvingly and replaced his walking stick against the table. “You say Bilbo’s depressed? Well, what would make that better, in your estimation?”

“The return of the sun,” Thorin answered at once. “He needs fresh air, adventure, and a bit of sunshine to banish this foul cloud he’s under.”

“There you have it,” Bolger declared, nodding again. “He needs fresh air, you give it to him. Adventure? Sunshine? You bring them to him if he can’t go out and get them for himself. Or leastways, do what you can. It’s the effort that matters in a marriage, more than the outcome, if you catch my meaning.”

“And just how do you propose I bring him the sun?” Thorin demanded, exasperated with the hobbit’s non-advice. It’s broken? Unbreak it, of course. Nothing was that simple.

Bolger bristled at his tone. “Well, lad, for starters, you might try being at home. Your husband’s hurting because he’s stuck there? What in the name of the Green Lady are you doing out here yourself? You head down to the market this very instant, and then you come up with an adventure for that Tookish husband of yours, and then you head straight home to deliver it.”

“But what —”

Bolger brandished his walking stick at him. “A meal’s always a safe place to start, but the rest is for you to figure out, isn’t it? You married him, lad, not me. Now, get going.”

#bagginshield #thorin #bilbo #lemon meringue au #the hobbit #kate writes #my writing #fanfic

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wolfyred-ks · 6 years ago

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Adrinette April 2019 Day 23

@adrinetteapril thank you for all you’ve done for the event. I know this one is probably to late for the re-blog. If it’s not a problem over the next few days I would like to tag you in my remaining posts just so you can see what I’ve done.

This was my fist ever ‘writing prompt’ event. And I actually only just created my tumbler so I could take part in Adrinette April 2019. I’m going to also do Marichat May and the other two sides. May take me a little to start though.

THANK YOU FOR MANAGING ADRINETTE APRIL 2019 WITH FLARE AND GUSTO!!!!

Day 23 - Fashion Show

(PLEASE NOTE - THE EXPLOSION IS FICTIOUS. I MADE IT UP FOR THE SAKE OF THE STORY. I DO NOT WISH FOR ANYTHING LIKE THIS TO EVER HAPPEN TO ANYONE.)

It’s just the class. It’s just our families. It’s raising funds for a worthy cause. It’s a chance to show my work before I get big.

Marinette tried to calm herself down with these reassurances. She had been floored when Jagged Stone had approached her for another commission. He had loved his shades so much and they were such a big hit on the tour he had done that he wanted an actual outfit designed.

Tikki had been offering comfort to Marinette the 2 weeks it had been going on. She had been such a source of encouragement Marinette would never have gotten through it with her sanity intact. Well, Tikki and all the others that helped her with this.

As she paced in front of Adrien getting into make up she wondered, ‘How did one outfit end up being a fashion show?’

--------

Originally she had been meeting with Jagged and Penny for a new outfit to tour in. After talking with Jagged she had 5 designs that she wanted to show him. He had liked 4 of them but couldn’t decide which one to use and was suggesting she make them all up. He’d pay for them of course, and if they were all really good he’d use them in his shows.

Penny had joked about Jagged being a personal fashion show for Marinette.

It was at that moment the TV in the hotel suite broke the news that there had been an explosion on the D20 outskirts of Saint-Vulbas. Some terrorists had been on the way to the Bugey Nuclear Power Plant with a bomb in a large van. There was evidence they were going to drive as close to the reactors as they could. However police had stopped the truck before they could get anywhere near the plant. The suspects decided to set of the bomb anyways and the explosion destroyed a portion of the city, leaving a 1km crater that took out a good portion of the town.

Already emergency crews were on the scene and the French Government had offered relief and aid to the small town. A list of places people could donate food, clothing and blankets was being created and the news anchor was urging everyone to help any way they could.

“I want to help them.” Marinette said as the news cast went on. “I want to send them something. I could get some material make blankets and maybe even simple shirts in lots of sizes and slip on pants.” She started pacing and planning, “My parents could make some breads and croissants and we could ship them. And I could organize a food drive at the school with...”

Penny cut Marinette off. “That’s a lot to do for you. It’s great to help out but you don’t want to overdo it yourself and get too exhausted to manage it.” She placed a hand on Marinette’s shoulder. “Also buying all that material to make clothes will be expensive. It might be better to do a clothing and food drive. You don’t need to make it a big show.”

“Yes she does Penny.” Jagged had stood up as well.

“What?” Both ladies said.

“A big show! We can help her put on a big show and gather up supplies, clothes, food and donations towards re-building. Did you say with me using 4 of her outfits on tour I’d be her own fashion show?”

“I meant it as a joke Jagged.” Penny said.

“But we could make it real! We can help her set it. She designs a few more outfits and we get some of her school chums to show them off. Charge at the door! Have a set up for dropping off clothes and food at the show.” Jagged pulled Marinette to his side. “It will be big! I know you can do it.” He grabbed Penny and said theyd be in touch. He was going to talk to the mayor about renting the ballroom.

Tikki floated up from Marinette’s purse. “What just happened?”

“I’m not sure Tikki,” Marinette looked at the little red kwami. “I think I was just signed up to do a fashion show.”

Over the next few days it was sorted out that Penny and Jagged were going to organize most of it. Marinette just had to come up with 4 more designs and sew 8 outfits in 2 weeks.

--------

After staying up late for 2 days designing the other 4 outfits it showed on Marinette. It was first period and she was asleep at her desk.

Adrien looked at her as he walked in with Nino. He turned to Alya, “What’s wrong with Marinette?”

“She managed to finish the last of the designs last night.” Alya said while patting Marinette’s head. “Poor girl is so stressed right now.”

“Oh, the fashion show to raise funds for Saint-Vulbas. I was thinking of asking my dad if I could be a model for her show.” Adrien looked at Marinette with fondness.

“Well, you’ll have to let her know today. After school she��s going have to get the measurements of everyone and start sewing all 8 outfits tonight. Jagged is picking her up after dinner to go buy the material she needs.” Alya continued to stroke Marinette’s hair.

“She’s sewing them all on her own?” Nino asked.

“Mmm hm.” Alya nodded. “I would love to help her but I keep making a mess of things when I try to sew.”

“I could ask my dad for help.” Adrien spoke.

“Really?” Alya asked.

“Yeah, I know we’re in between shows and shoots so things aren’t busy for the seamstresses. Maybe dad would be willing to let one or two of them help out. They know how to sew on a deadline.” Adrien glanced at the sleeping girl. “Do you think she would like the help? I don’t want to come across as her not being able to do it, but that is a lot of work.”

Marinette chose that moment to wake up with a start. “Put your sleeves back on!” She yelled.

Alya, Nino and Adrien were shocked for a moment. Then they all burst out laughing.

“Not funny guys.” Marinette realized what had happened. “I had a horrible dream that one of my dresses decided it looked better without sleeves and took them off itself.”

“That is funny.” Nino chuckled.

“Hey Marinette?” Adrien asked softly.

“Yeah?” she responded sleepily.

“Would you be alright if I asked my dad if we could get help from one of the seamstresses? You give them the designs and they can do the sewing for some of the outfits.” He smiled at her.

“I wouldn’t want to put them out. I’m supposed to be designing the outfits and I should make them.” She was interrupted by a yawn before she could go on.

“It’s not a problem. You need the help. 8 outfits in 2 weeks while still going to school is going to be a lot. Also,” Adrien started before she could argue further. “While my dad designs, he really doesn’t do the sewing anymore. Maybe on a specific outfit but he usually gets the seamstresses to do the work.”

Marinette thought for a moment and nodded. She was way too tired to put up much of a fight. Besides, all Adrien was going to do was ask. Didn’t mean that his dad would help.

--------

Adrien went home for lunch and asked Nathalie if he could chat with father for a moment.

She came back after Adrien had finished eating and said that his father would see him now.

Adrien asked his father first if it was alright if he was a model for Marinette and Jagged’s fashion show. Adrien explained what the show was for and how much work Marinette was going to have to do and how he’d really like to help her out. Would he be willing to have a few of his designs in the show too to help draw in more people.

Gabriel agreed to Adrien modelling as it was for a good cause. However he would not have his designs in the fashion show. After all it was supposed to be Marinette’s designs. He commented that 8 outfits in less than 2 weeks would be hard for a school girl so he agreed to lend two seamstresses to help out. But they would all have work in the studio downtown.

Adrien thanked his dad and went back to school really happy. He told Marinette what his dad was going to do.

She almost passed out.

During the last class the teacher said that in support of the Fashion Show Fundraiser Marinette could take this time to get the measurements of the students willing to be models and that those who wanted to help out in others ways could meet with Penny in the main yard to talk about how they could help with the food and clothing drive portion of the fashion show.

Adrien, Kim, Max and Nino would be the male models. Chloe, Juleka, Rose and Alix would be the female models.

Ivan, Mylene, Sabrina and Alya decided to help out at the drives. Nathanael says he is going to ask Penny if it would be alright if he did some artwork that could be sold. Lila says she is helping her mother with some of the government organized things and asks to leave.

Since Adrien’s measurements are in his dad’s file Marinette quickly takes the measurements of the others and has Adrien write them down.

-----------

When Jagged comes by after dinner he says they are swinging by the Agreste place first.

“Why are we going there?” Marinette asks.

“We’re picking up Adrien Agreste. His dad called me this afternoon and said you could have access to his fabric room to pick out stuff for the outfits.” Jagged helped her into the car. “Adrien is going to allow us access into the building.”

Marinette was floored.

Over the next week and a half Marinette went to school during the day and then her and Adrien would go to his fathers business offices downtown and she’d look over what the 2 ladies had done. As the seamstresses could work all day long they said they’d do the majority of the outfits for Marinette.

Marinette insisted on making Adrien’s and Rose’s outfits herself as they were going to be the only matched pair.

Rose drops by a couple of nights in a row for fittings. Adrien has been hanging out with Marinette the whole time. Chatting, trying on the outfit and just watching her sew. The other class mates came by 4 days before the show for their first fittings.

With 2 days before the show all the outfits were complete and final fittings were done.

--------

The afternoon of the show Marinette was a bundle of nerves.

Marinette was pacing and worrying in front of Adrien as a makeup artist put on the final touches before he was to go out for the show. “Oh gawd, what if people see the outfits and hate them and demand their money back. What if someone trips and breaks a leg or an arm. What if Hawk Moth finally decides to attack. I’m glad that he hasn’t done anything since the bombing but he could change his mind today. What if..”

Adrien, finished with makeup, got up, went over to Marinette and put his hands on her shoulders to stop her.

“Everything will be fine. Everyone is in their outfits and they look great. They’re getting makeup on. We all went through rehearsals yesterday and know where to walk. Safety inspectors have looked over everything and it’s all safe. Nathalie is stagemanaging.” Adrien kissed Marinette’s forehead. “Nothing will go wrong.”

Marinette blushed and almost forgot to breathe.

“Yeah Mari,” Kim struck a pose, “These outfits are amazing.”

“I feel pretty.” Juleka said. And she looked it. Everyone else made positive remarks about how everything looked and how well it would go.

“Now,” Adrien put an arm around Marinette and steered her towards Penny and Jagged. “Go. You need to be with them greeting people before coming back her before the show actually starts. We’ll take care of everything back here until then. When the last of us have come out for the final walk you join us on the stage and receive your well earned congratulations.”

Marinette looked at all her friends backstage and almost started to cry. “Thank you everyone.” She then went out and hugged Jagged. Now she just had to wait for the show to start.

#adrinetteapril2019 #mlp #adrien x marinette #adrinette april 2019

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sunflowerrichie · 6 years ago

Text

my boy

chapter 1: eighth grade

“who’s richie?”

“he’s my boyfriend,” she began, her eyes glazed over and a pleased smile on her face. puppy love; something eddie would never get the chance in having with richie.

summary: ever since they met in eighth grade, richie had been disappearing for weeks (even months) at a time, leaving eddie to think they’re on bad terms; though, that’s not really why richie disappears.

warning(s): language.

author: richie (sunflowerrichie)

note: this book is based off real life events, so if the details are too exact, that’s why. i don’t know how many chapters there will be at the moment due to events after the 7th chapter not happening yet, but i will let you guys know when i’m going to post the next chapter.

word count: 2,076

ao3: x

tagging: @addimagination

“who’s richie?” eddie had asked myra, his doe eyes wide and questioning; he briefly thanked whatever god was out there that the girl could not see him, for she’d read right through him. if eddie could go back in time from where he was now, he would’ve never asked that simple question containing only two words, though he already knew this was another one of her unsuccessful boyfriends. there was a comic book in his hand, one he disregarded the second someone new was mentioned.

myra fixed her hair from where she was lying on the couch, responding quickly. “he’s my boyfriend,” she began, her eyes glazed over and a pleased smile on her face. puppy love; something eddie would never get the chance in having with richie. “he’s tall and lanky... got dark, black hair; i’m surprised you haven't seen him around, eddie.”

myra had met eddie in sixth grade, easily becoming friends with the hypochondriac. the smaller boy made a habit of wiping her desk down with cleansing wipes before she sat in it, and in return, she gave eddie platonic love. his mom loved her; for she was just as neat as her sweet eddie-bear and she vowed to make sure he’s taking his medication on time. she was much like sonia, actually; except for being a believer in ‘love at first sight’.

this wasn’t the first time she’s been head over heels for someone, nor would it be the last, but eddie was used to it at this point. each time, he’d make himself presentable for her boyfriend, and each time, they’d never show much interest in the asthmatic boy.

eddie hummed, feigning carelessness and turning back to his book. “is he in eighth grade, too?” he had asked, flipping the page over, though his ears were perked up and his eyes were no longer scanning the words printed nicely on the paper.

“yeah,” myra responded, her voice like she was up in the clouds, high on euphoria. she snapped back quickly, glancing down at the boy on the floor and catching his eyes. “you should talk to him; i think you would start to like him,” more than you think, eddie would learn to realize. before he could decline the offer, though, she was speaking again. “he likes david bowie... and what’s that one song you like?” she paused, her eyebrows scrunching together. “uh... something about the rains in africa?”

eddie perked up quickly, his hot chocolate colored eyes twinkling with the white marshmallows sculpted deep inside them. “africa by toto,” he had said, his cheeks growing hot. eddie kaspbrak loved music, he always had; and now that he would potentially have someone to discuss this love with, he was immediately hooked. he found out three years later, though, that it did not work out the way he had planned. he snapped out of his daze, his smile still apparent. “is he coming over?”

the girl grinned from ear to ear, unbelievably delighted that her best friend was keen on meeting her boyfriend. she looked down at her phone then, the screen lighting up and reflecting on her face in a green kind of glow, the color of her lock screen. “he said he’s on his way,” myra started. “he lives just down the street, so he’ll be here in a few minutes.”

the short boy was struck with a sort of fear then, subconsciously fixing his hair. he nodded, biting his lip and trying not to act suspicious (though this was normal for him; he was always afraid new people would think he’s too messy, too uncaring). myra didn’t seem to notice, though, and kept staring at her phone with a smile, typing away at the keys. at this realization, eddie stood up and coughed awkwardly. “i’m gonna go use the bathroom.” once he got an ‘okay’, he started walking.

when he came out of the bathroom after a few deep, calming breaths and a puff of his aspirator just in case, his clothes were freshly lint-rolled and perfect, his hair was combed and neat, and his teeth were nice and brushed. his fanny pack was around his waist, keeping him grounded and secure. he heard talking from the living room and walked into the doorway, his hands cupped at his front.

richie tozier turned to him, a wide grin on his face and his glasses askew. eddie let his eyes drift around the boy, taking in every detail he could in the three seconds he allowed himself to stare. richie had a grey shirt on, a white and navy blue hawaiian shirt draped over it. the fabric was loose on his skinny frame, and eddie noticed three cigarettes extended out of his pocket, making the small boy’s hands start to shake. his pants were black and tight, complimenting his long legs. and to top it all off, he had black and white slip-on vans over his green and purple socks. he didn’t match; but it suited him in a way eddie felt jealous of.

“like whatcha see?” the tall boy asked, making eddie blush in realization that he noticed the staring. before he could respond, myra spoke again, catching the asthmatic off guard. he had forgot she was in the room.

“richie, this is eddie,” she gestured towards him. “eddie, this is richie,” and back towards richie.

the glasses-clad boy grinned even harder, making eddie wonder if his face would split in half with the force of the grin. the smaller boy looked over to myra quickly, her giving him a smile and her eyes saying ‘this is normal, don’t be alarmed’. he stepped forward and stuck out his lanky arm, waiting for the small boy to shake it. he didn’t; he was afraid richie would think his hands were too rough (he forgot to apply lotion). “richie tozier.”

one week after richie introduced himself to eddie, the asthmatic was at myra’s house again, same as last weekend. “what did you get for number 6?” the girl asked, flipping her paper over and furrowing her eyebrows. she was across from eddie on her bed, both of them lying on their stomachs and going over their math homework.

“two,” eddie responded easily, writing something down on his paper. he then paused for a while, his hand hovering over his paper as he thought. “what do you want to do tomorrow?” he asked, looking up at her with hope in his eyes. hope that richie would come over again. hope that they’d have another chance to all watch a movie together (he had sat on the ground the whole time, though, trying not to pay attention to the sound of their lips smacking together every once in a while and the bounce of richie’s leg on the carpet). he hadn’t got that close to richie yet, for he’d have to take a puff of his aspirator every time he thought about it; but with richie’s loud mouth and his easy-going attitude, it was slightly easier than he thought.

myra hummed, looking up at him briefly before turning the page in the blue textbook. “i was planning to have richie come over at around ten in the morning,” she spoke, seeming to think them over as they floated out of her mouth. “is that okay?” she blushed slightly, looking back up at eddie.

the small boy nodded, pulling his phone out quickly to set an alarm for nine in the morning. he told himself he’d need time to wake up, but he knew deep down that he really only did that because he wants to look good for the taller boy. “that sounds good,” he smiled, glancing at the time quickly. he stood up then, grabbing his fanny pack and snapping it around his waist again. “be right back, i gotta take my medicine.”

the second it turned nine o’clock the next morning, eddie’s phone was ringing and the sound was echoing through myra’s living room. the small boy groaned and rolled over, shutting off his alarm and rubbing at his eyes. when his mind got a chance to catch up and his first thought was richie, though, he was up and rushing to turn the shower on.

when richie opened the door an hour later, he was grinning and his nose was a different color, the cold, november air outside making his skin blush red.

“spaghetti!” he yelled, immediately taking interest in the asthmatic boy, much to his surprise. “i was hoping you’d be here again!”

eddie blushed deeply, water pooling behind his eyes due to embarrassment. “hi, richie,” he spoke softly, the name unfamiliar on his tongue as he scanned the room for myra (he hoped briefly that he’d get a chance for the name to finally become familiar flowing out of his mouth). “uh, myra will be here in a second, she went to-“

the taller boy cut him off quickly, wrapping his lanky arm around his shoulders. “no worries, short stack,” he started, not coming off offensive but more... fond; as if he’d known eddie since they were in sixth grade, too. “for i, the one and only richie tozier, would not mind hanging out with my favorite eds!” he finished off in a loud, almost ear-ringing, voice, grinning down at eddie, his ocean blue eyes gleaming.

before the brown-eyed boy could respond with a ‘don’t call me that’ and a soft shove, myra was walking through the doorway and richie’s arm was unwrapping itself from his shoulders, leaving him with a heart that had plunged down into his lower stomach. “i see you two have made friends with one another.” friends. all they would ever be.

to that, richie nodded, the grin still on his face. does he ever stop fucking grinning? “we have, haven’t we, spaghetti head?” the words seemed as if they came from another planet, for the sound of blood rushing behind his ears was too loud for the small boy to process what richie was saying.

he excused himself to go use the bathroom then, and when he got there, he realized he might as well have been losing his mind. “keep it together, kaspbrak,” he said to his reflection, swallowing down a lump in his throat. “it’s just richie,” the name was still unfamiliar, “just myra’s new, unsuccessful boyfriend, richie.”

when eddie finally got himself to come out of the bathroom and walk into the living room again, he was stopped dead in his tracks. myra’s pinky was looped around the taller boy’s and words were flowing out of his mouth beautifully.

“-i promise, okay? i’ll always be here for you,” and then he was moving his hand up and extending his thumb to kiss. “i never break a pinky promise.” if only eddie would have known those six words would be repeating through his head painfully for three years afterwards. richie looked like a totally different person when he was serious, eddie then realized. he felt anxiety creep up his body with the question ‘i wonder if i’ll ever be in myra’s spot’. he knew he’d probably have an asthma attack due to richie’s eyes alone.

“me and richie broke up,” is what eddie heard five days later coming through his cell phone speaker, the owner’s voice broken and rough. “i-i didn’t-”

“wait, wait, what happened?” the brown-eyed boy asked, more curious than sympathetic.

“he pinky promised me!” she wailed, ignoring his question and making eddie move the phone an inch or two from his ear. “he said he never breaks pinky promises, and he did!”

eddie stopped talking to myra after that. not because of any particular reason, but just simply because of the fact that whenever he looked at her, all he could think about was richie’s arm around him and richie’s pinky promise and richie’s beautiful, blue eyes. the two boys never swapped numbers, so eddie had to spend the rest of eighth grade wondering if richie was ever really his ‘friend’, or if he was only taking interest in the hypochondriac because of myra.

what he didn’t realize until three months later, though, was that richie actually never did break his pinky promise. he was still there for myra if she needed him, but eddie guesses he lost interest in being something more than acquaintances. richie was good with his words and eddie was destined to be wrapped around his finger sooner or later.

#my boy #it 2017 #eddie kaspbrak #richie tozier #finn wolfhard #the losers club #jack dylan grazer #reddie #richie’s work #richie tozier x eddie kaspbrak

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liliverse-ish · 7 years ago

Text

Ignoring but Not Really

a/n: took a while babe sorry, I got really busy this last week. I hope this is good? let me knoww! i wrote little stories bc i thought theyd be cute lol

kim seokjin:

“Y/n do you think I should wear my white shoes or do the grey ones look better?” He said stepping out of your shared walk in closet.

You were scrolling past twitter checking out the trending page and laughing at all the funny memes. Since you weren’t looking his direction, the lack of vision caused you to miss whatever he asked you. At first he smiled thinking you were just way too out of it to realize he was talking.

“Y/n babe. What do you think?” once again no response on your end.

He began to question if he had done something wrong from the moment he stepped to change and now; but nothing. Out of frustration he went back into the closet to look for something funny to wear to make you laugh. Automatically his eyes land on your foax fur coat in the distance. Having such broad shoulders the jacket would not come up and stayed at his elbows. He figured you’d find it as funny as he did once he turned to the mirror. He practically jumps out of the closet wanting to get your reaction. Nothing came though.

Slowly his pout came out and he walked to where you sat on your bed. He stood in front of you and finally you looked up at him with your beautiful smile and sparkly eyes. He looked a bit surprised about your facial expression and you furrowed your eyebrows together.

“What’s wrong?” you asked.

“I thought you were ignoring me. I’ve been calling you for at least 5 minutes”

“Oh god. I’m so sorry, you know how I’m hard of hearing, if I’m looking your way there’s a slim chance I can actually hear you.”

“Babe, I totally forgot! I was overhear wondering what I did wrong. I’m so forgetful, this happens way too often. You have to yell at me every time you’re going to be doing something else so I can make things easier for you.”

He leans downs and sweetly presses his lips on your forehead. Jin always forgot but would try his best to not make you feel bad for not catching it in the first place. But now, he told you to keep your eyes on him because he needs your opinion on a very important subject, his shoes.

min yoongi:

“Baby should we invite the guys for dinner tonight?” Yoongi spoke from a distance.

You were too busy watching your favorite movie and paying attention to what was happening to be able to catch whatever Yoongi had said. The movie came to an end and you made your way into the kitchen to put wash the dishes you had dirtied while eating snacks.

“Y/n, so should I tell them they can come or no?” his voice was at a regular tone but he wasn’t close enough for you to catch what he had said.

He huffs to himself thinking you must be mad at him or the boys since you were usually the one to respond very excitedly to the guys coming over. You walk past him and give a sweet smile but he just tilts his head to the side and lifts one eyebrow. He watches you sit on the recliner chair in your living room and begins to think to himself. He stares for a while until you feel his eyes on you and you turn to face his direction.

“Is something wrong babe?”

“Not to me. What’d I do? Or what did they do?”

“Who’s they?”

“The guys.”

“Nothing.. speaking of them you should invite them over! It’ll be so fun to have dinner together!!!”

He looks at you with a sort of confused look and lifts his eyebrow again, “I just asked you twice if I could invite them.”

“No you didn’t silly!” You giggle walking up to him, “Oh wait. It happened again. Yikes.”

His face seemed to finally get what happened and he giggled back at you and pulled you into a warm hug.

“OH! Right. I forgot it was hard to catch what I’m saying sometimes. Don’t worry about it babe, I’ll invite everyone right now.”

He was always understanding. Forgetful. But would never make you feel bad for not realizing you couldn’t hear him clearly unless you can lip read or pay close attention.

jung hoseok:

Hobi was in the mood to show you a new choreography he came up with while on his free time. He couldn’t find his speaker, and just couldn’t remember where he left it. You had started to help him look for it so you could watch his new moves but it was no use because you couldn’t find it either. Finally in the last place he looked, the bathroom, there it stood on the counter.

“I found it sweetheart!” Hobi said walking in the room you were in bent over looking through different pieces of furniture.

“You can stop looking y/n,” but you carried on.

At first he was a little taken back by no response but he tried once more; it still didn’t grab your attention. You weren’t the type to get mad over such a small thing so he was really taken back this time when you ignored him for the third time.

A few seconds go by and he realized you probably missed what he said because your attention was else where. He comes next to you and lightly taps your shoulder, you stand up and face him, he brings up the speaker to his face and smiles. You giggle at his silliness and high five him.

“Where’d you leave it? Was it in the bathroom again?”

“Ugh yes..” he said playfully sighing.

“You didn’t hear me earlier so I had to come up to you or else you’d still be searching.”

“Oh,” you giggle, “That would’ve been a little funny.”

He grabs your hand and leads you to a spot on your couch. He started to connect his phone to the speaker and winked at you. He was very quick to remember that you needed to read his lips so if this happened often he’d just walk up to you and either playfully pout or just continue the conversation as if it were nothing.

kim namjoon:

You and Namjoon had spent almost the entire day at his studio as he wanted to write but because it was one of the only days you’d both be able to be together he asked you to come along. He had sat in his chair in front of his computer with a pen in his hand and the cap in his mouth, as his face scrunched up, struggling to find the correct lyrics. Finally it seemed something had clicked and he wrote down a couple lines to his verse. He felt so happy and accomplished but he wanted your input and praise.

“Okay so, Y/N, listen to these fire ass lines.” he says as he spun in his chair.

“Babe. Listen!” he says while you read other lyrics he had thrown out, “Hey quit ignoring me.”

He crosses his arms against his chest and looks at you with a half serious straight face. He tries calling out your name repeatedly but you were too invested in his “messed” up writings to clearly hear anything. He turns to his notebook and lazily rips a piece of paper. He crumbles it into a ball and starts to aim it at you; he sticks his tongue out slightly and tilted his head to get perfect accuracy. In that moment you had finished reading the paper in your hands and start to look up at him but a flying white ball comes straight towards you. It lightly taps your cheek and falls down next to you on the mini couch in Namjoon’s studio.

“Hey, what did I do?”

“You ignored me. I was so excited to show you these new lyrics that I came up with but you were too invested in other things to hear.”

“Oh my. Didn’t realize, then I did deserve your paper ball on my cheek,” a small laugh escapes your lips, “Tell me the lyrics!”

Namjoon never really was bothered by your moments of not hearing him, he took the opportunities to playfully mess with you for your attention. On the rare occasion he’d forget and get pouty but it was all sweet. There were moments he’d even jump into your lap like a little kid to regain your attention. It never failed to make you laugh.

park jimin:

We all know how Jimin lives for his attention and praising, so on days he was a little low, he’d really cling himself onto you. This day in particular you were busy doing work on your computer for work/school and he just didn’t like how you weren’t focused on him. Having been turned away from him he had been calling your name for the past 20 minutes but you hadn’t a single peep because you were concentrating so hard. A couple times you heard a little noise and turn around to face him but he would just look at you and smile.

On top of being so busy, today was a very off day for your hearing. It was one of those days you struggled more hearing much of anything without putting all your energy to pay close attention. You were close to finishing up on your work and you got a little more excited to finally spend time with your boyfriend.

After finishing you made your way to him and fell lightly on top of him, hugging him tightly and cuddling into him. He seemed a bit stiff while everything played out, and his facial expression was a bit annoying and sad.

You look up to see him and he has his lips out in a nice plump pout.

“Now you want cuddles after ignoring my pleads for a full 20 minutes.”

“I wasn’t ignoring you Jiminie!” he furrows his eyebrows, “I promise. I’ve just had a little more trouble today listening without looking.”

“Ah why didn’t say so! I was sad here, feeling lonely, and unloved,” he exaggerates his sigh, “but you were just struggling.”

“I’m here now to give you all the love you are asking for.”

“Good. Sorry I should remember more than you have trouble hearing me.”

Jimin always told you never to apologize if he felt ignored but you were having trouble because he should realize that you can’t hear and should grab your attention. So he was always the one to apologize for not noticing earlier but you always reassured him it was all fine.

kim taehyung:

“... And that’s why I told Jungkook he shouldn’t buy a pet bunny while living with our hyungs.”

Silence.

Did she fall asleep? he thought. He turned to face you on the couch but your eyes were wide as you held a book in front of you reading. He figured you didn’t enjoy his story and rather read a better one to keep you entertained. He got up off the couch and looked for the remote to the tv. Once located he sat at another spot and turned on his favorite channel, and raised the volume thinking it’ll annoy you enough to talk to him.

You could hear the slight murmurs of the tv but they were sounds your ears and brain could not correlate to anything and so decided to check out what it was. Your eyes landed on spongebob dancing around and signing at the top of his lungs on the tv screen. Spongebob was Taehyung’s favorite cartoon to watch at night so he could have a good laugh before going to bed.

Your eyes land on Taehyung and he has a calm expression on his face.

“I turned the volume almost all the way up because I wanted to steal your attention, since you ignored me, but then as I saw you look up to the tv I realized it was probably because you couldn’t hear me.”

“Yeah, what were you saying?”

“I was telling you a story about Jungkook but it’s whatever. I can’t believe I always forget about you needing to rely on lip reading.”

“It’s alright as long as you get it eventually.”

His boxy smile appears and he makes a mental note to remind himself every single day. From then on he got better at remembering to ask you and speak to you if you were looking directly at him.

jeon jungkook:

All day it seemed like you’d be all about him for twenty minutes straight but then for five minutes you’d ignore him and the cycle would repeat and so he’d get pouty and whiney until you looked at him and could listen again.

“Okay whats up?”

“Huh?”

“You’ve been distracted this entire time and I’m starting to get a little jealous. Whoever you’re texting, is clearly stealing you from me.”

“Kookie. No,” you laugh, “It’s just if my eyes aren’t on you I can’t really make out what you’re saying, remember?”

His once sad and frustrated face turned into a guilty look and his eyes looked down. His lips formed a small ‘O’ and his hands intertwined together on his lap.

“Jungkook don’t feel bad. It happens and thats fine!”

He looks up and sees your smile that never failed to make his appear, and he reached out to grab your hand.

“I do this too often. But I promise I’ll try harder to keep it in mind and let you do your thing babygirl.”

From the moment you started dating he had always had an understanding you struggled with this little part. Many people would get frustrated but he made sure he wasn’t one of them and tried to remember and keep in mind you didn’t choose to ignore him.

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istheresomebodywhocanimagine · 6 years ago

Note

Because I’m selfish could you do a shipping me with members thing? I’m short, half Greek and Scottish but raised in Australia (yes, I do have an accent) I have really long brown hair and hazel eyes, and I play bass and sing. I love to read and write, and I almost always have headphones on and music blasting. I also am a drama student and I love to act. Thank you so much xxxxx Love your blog btw.

hi! don’t feel selfish for this, i’mma keep it real with you pal - i have asked for several ships before nO SHAME

anyways, in relation to BoRhap - I ship you with Gwilym!!! At first I was going to say Joe, but I think I see you meshing with Gwilym really well:

When Gwilym got cast as Brian in BoRhap, you were the first one he called. First, to break the news. Second, to ask you for a little help brushing up on his skills. He knew you played bass, and it wasn’t exactly lead guitar, but he still wanted to know all of your little tips and pointers in case there was something he could use when he finally met Brian.

In fact, he came over the next day with his guitar, already ready to learn. You were happy to oblige, but you admitted to him early on that you didn’t exactly know how well you’d be able to translate your bass-centered ideas to the guitar.

“What’s different about the two?” he’d asked, seated across from you and leaning forward over his guitar, genuinely interested in what you had to say. He considered you a great mind on the subject.

“Well, the mechanics are similar, you know, as far as that goes, but the fingerings aren’t going to be the same…” you rambled on for a minute, Gwil transfixed by everything you were saying.

After you were done speaking, he’d grinned at you proudly. “You’re brilliant, love.”

He calls you brilliant a lot, actually. It’s his favorite thing to say to you, because of the way your eyes light up when he says it. They are already brimming with all kinds of energy, but after he calls you brilliant - that’s when he’s the most captivated.

You heard that word - brilliant - coming out of his mouth the most often when he was reading over your latest writing, no matter what style it was. Poetry, prose, he loved it all.

“Can I keep this one?” he’d asked one time, holding up a piece of prose you’d written specifically about him. You grinned and took it back from him, looking over it for a moment.

“What’s so special about this one?” you’d asked as you sat back on the bed, preferring the poem you’d written about him a few months ago much more than this piece. But boy, did he have an answer for you. In fact, you’d never heard someone speak as passionately about something as Gwil would once he got going.

He stood up and gave you a 10 minute speech about why he thought you should let him keep that short story, introduction, body, and conclusion to the speech all included.

“So, can I?” he’d asked after a moment of you sitting there, dumbfounded. He gave you a toothy smile as he sat back down next to you.

“You were definitely born to be an actor,” you mumbled, handing the prose to him and shaking your head in disbelief at how much he’d fought for those two pages of writing. That’d gotten a chuckle out of him, and he peppered the side of your face with kisses before happily taking the story back.

Speaking of acting, Gwil LOVED coming to your performances. He took a whole week off of filming once just so he could see every night of your theater company’s Anything Goes.

He’d posted a big long paragraph about your performance after opening night, telling all of his loyal followers how brilliant you had been, and how proud he was of you. And, of course, he’d put some sentences in there about how much he loved you and loved going on this journey with you.

And then Joe commented “-Bri” just to make fun of how eerily alike Gwil was to his elder double. Classic Joe.

Now, if we’re talking Queen, I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I really think I ship you with Roger - HEAR ME OUT, I have some (probably weak) reasons:

The reason I think you’d caught Roger’s eye before any of the other boys is because of your accent - he’d latched onto it almost immediately after hearing you speaking to Deacon, who had hired you as a bass tech. You were both eagerly discussing some kind of system that Roger hadn’t a clue about, but your voice was like a drug to him.

He’d made a point of inserting himself into the conversation, introducing himself and chastising John a bit.

“How come I haven’t met your friend here sooner?” Roger scolded John playfully, John just laughing and shaking his head.

“This is Y/N, she’s my new tech. I figured I’d introduce her to the most sane members of the band first, but first I have to figure out who those are.”

You’d laughed at that, particularly because of the mock hurt on Roger’s face before he’d reached out to shake your hand, you introducing yourself this time.

“That accent,” he’d had to point out, letting go of your hand, “Where is it from?”

“Australia. What about yours?” you’d countered, noticing a bit of a different lilt to his words than John’s.

Roger scoffed at that, shrugging. “Cornwall. Exciting stuff, eh?”

After that day, he’d always find reasons to come and talk to you, sometimes the reason being no better than him wanting to hear your accent.

The day Roger realized he actually might fancy you was when he’d noticed you writing on one of the off days and asked to see a sneak peek of what you were doing. Roger loved writing songs, and wondered if you had any good material.

You did. In fact, he was thoroughly impressed by your work, and spent the rest of the day work-shopping with you, which spilled over into a late night coffee run before it was time to go hop on the bus to head to the next tour stop.

You were in the coffee shop, talking about what Queen had coming up after this tour, when Roger had redirected the conversation.

“You know, I’ve never asked, what did you study back home?” he’d inquired, curious to see what kind of person you were. He’d pegged you as some sort of major similar to John based on your identical knowledge of his bass, so he was pleasantly surprised when you revealed that you were a drama student. “An actor, huh? That must be why you’re so seemingly interested in all of Brian’s stories. God, explains so much now.”

You had to laugh at that, shaking your head. “No, no, Brian actually has some good stories and knows how to tell them. Now you, on the other hand…” you’d trailed off, Roger recoiling in slight insult at what you’d suggested.

Someone who could keep up with his humor and insult him while they were at it? You were growing on him quickly.

One thing he always really enjoyed doing once you grew more comfortable around him was (carefully) taking your headphones and listening to a little bit of whatever you were currently listening to.

At first, it annoyed you a bit, but when you realized he was genuinely wanting to pick up on some of your music taste, you allowed it to happen with little to no issue.

Also, he’d started slipping you song recommendations on tapes of his, labeling them cute things and drawing little smiley faces on them. Though it was difficult to understand his scrawlings sometimes, you cherished those tapes.

While we’re talking about songs, Roger liked to hear you sing. One time, you were trying to explain a part of the song where you thought Deacon wasn’t getting a good sound out of his bass to another tech, and you started singing the chorus part where it started sounding off.

Roger was, for lack of better words, shook.

Like, he loved your voice.

So, clever little gentleman he is, he found a way to start getting you to sing around him more by pretending to hear issues with the bass in the songs they’d play during their sets.

“It was like, it was muted during the last part of the second chorus, you know?” he’d said one time, working his way into it nonchalantly. “Like, the part where, you know, Fred goes, ‘and I love the things…’“ he’d trailed off, pretending not to remember the next part.

You thought for a moment, then you sang in a soft voice just to clarify. “And I love the things, I really love the things that you do, oh, you’re my best friend? That part?”

“Yeah, yeah!” he’d say, smiling and pointing at you like you were a genius for remembering the simplest lyrics in the whole set.

You caught on after a few times of false alarms from him, but you let him keep believing that he had you right where he wanted you. It was honestly really cute that he’d go through so much work to hear you sing, even if he didn’t necessarily need to try that hard.

(But don’t tell him that, for God’s sake.)

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lizardsister · 7 years ago

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thanks for posting the stuff you've been writing tonight. im ftm and haven't started t yet or anything. i hate being trans and hate myself and my messed up brain is usually resistant to any kind of "it will be okay" positivity but what you said spoke to me and it just feels.. real. like i just feel like i can trust you that ill get better at this. i still feel hopeless but you make me want to try to not be. anyway i love you congrats on starting hrt queen

honestly its hard. its really really hard. basically like my whole life ive hated myself, ive hated what i was, and so much of my life was marked by SO much confusion and doubt and hate and i didnt think i could ever really be happy with myself. like, ive been IDing as a trans woman for two and a half years, and for two whole years outside of tumblr i was totally in the closet there because i was just SO afraid of telling anyone, and i doubted myself constantly on whether the things i was feeling was real or not

but then suddenly the last half a year has just been…. so much Better. i started seeing a therapist who has been amazing and seeing her has been such a positive experience with me learning so many healthy coping mechanisms and ways of dealing with my dysphoria on top of my depression/anxiety and who was SO incredible with helping me get transition resources sorted out, ive Finally started hrt, and above all i finally came out to my friends and theyve been nothing short of amazing

i know i talk about my friends and how great theyve been a lot but theyve really been SUCH a huge part in me getting to the point im at. i was terrified for years of ever telling any of them, thinking they’d leave me or best case scenario have things be weird or have our friendships change, but they ended up being SO incredible. i remember when i told the first two of my friends about it and how they both immediately went and changed my name in their phones to alice, how they took the time to ask me about pronouns/name/words i was comfortable with, how the next day they took me out to dinner to hang out and to just let me talk about everything and show that they supported me. and how when i told another friend how amazing and supportive he was, and how when i went and told the rest of my friend group the one friend i was sort of worried about just immediately smiled and was like “hey congratulations on being able to tell us”

and i just think about how my friend whose house we hang out at’s family knows, and how when they were told his mom and grandma both hugged me and told me how proud they were of me, and how his mom told me that their house was always a place i could stay if i needed that, and how she later signed a card with “your other mom”. and i just think about how the week after i told my friends they threw me a surprise party to celebrate me coming out, how all week they’d been planning it, how they’d tricked me into talking about different snacks and stuff id liked, how they got me cards and a big amazon gift card for me to order clothes with. and especially how they just explained that theyd talked about it and that it sucked that usually Best Case Scenario when someone comes out was just people not being awful, and how they wanted to do More than that and that they wanted to show how much they loved and supported me and that they’d be there through anything

and my real point there is that i spend over two years worrying and doubting myself and being nowhere Near close to wanting to come out, and now im surrounded by so many incredible people whove given me unimaginable support, who make me feel so loved, who have been Incredible with everything. and how months into everything its all gotten so easy, so casual, for me to just be alice and to be a girl around them, and how while before i was worried our friendships wouldnt last or would change how the only change that happened was i feel closer to them and more loved than i ever couldve thought

things are scary and Painful and i know “things will get better” comments can be really hard to believe but genuinely i never thought i could be as happy as i am now. and the same will happen to you. youre gonna find so many people who love you, who support you, who are incredible and wonderful. things might not be perfect, but youre gonna learn that your identity can be wonderful, and loving, and above all, healing

my life isnt perfect, not by a long shot, and there’s plenty of things i still struggle with. theres incidents like today where ive got people telling me im not Really Trans, the majority of the world still hates my existence, most people dont know im a woman. those things dont really go away, but for me at least ive learned to just… let them go. my friends are there. my friends who i love more than anything and who love me back. the people i love and the people i choose to spend my time with know me as Alice, love me as Alice, and ive learned that god that is more than enough. who cares what the world might think? the people i want to be with are on my side, and thats all i really need

youre gonna find people like that too, and i promise you everything else will get easier too. since coming out to my friends i have so much more confidence in myself and my womanhood, and im now on hrt, which is a point i thought i would Never really be at. and i know that in time you’ll get there too - you’ll be surrounded by people who love you, you’ll be confident in your identity, and youll learn to love yourself. it wont always be easy and i know “it gets better” doesnt fix any of the Now pain, but god it will all be worth it in the end. i promise. keep your chin up, keep going, and in time you’ll suddenly look around at all the love around you and wonder how everything couldve ever felt so scary

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voidselfshipp · 4 years ago

Text

Wait for it

Cw:alcohol.

A/n: I wanted to make my own little fic abt the song he sings about another character, its slightly altered here so it fits the fic.

Song here bcs it slaps.

Burr sighed being dragged by Alexander to a bar, he sits there, drinking while the others talked.

There in the corner, a girl drinking with her Friends.

-- who you looking at burr?-- Alexander teased.

--n no-one!-- he answered back.

-- oh is that Lady over there-- Alex said-- shes very pretty, maybe I should go and talk to her!

--dont you dare Alexander!-- he answered back standing up to go talk to her.

Hamilton and his Friends watched the scene unfold with amusement.

Theyd never seen burr this nervous before, he almost Fell flat on his ass two times now.

They talked the whole night until she had to leave, Alexander, half asleep and dead tired walks over to burr with a "im about to kill you" face.

-- and?

-- her names jerico,we agreed to send eachother letters since she rarely visits the pub

Alex sighs-- oh thank god, I have to admit it was quite funny seeing you stumble Like that

-- well luckily for me she found it adorable

The men say their goodbyes thinking that the struggle was over.

Oh how wrong they were.

Every time burr hung out with them hed ramble about how much he was in love with jer, how her letters were the best thing to happend to him during the week, how the little gifts she made him were all carefully kept.

--So, when Will you ask her out?--herc asked with a brow raised.

Burr freaks out,his cheeks darkening-- dont you think its a bit rushed? We've only talked for a couple of weeks--

Alexander chokes on his drink-- A COUPLE OF WEEKS AND YOU STILL DONT WANT TO ASK HER OUT?! burr youre my friend, but I Will slap you, how can you be so blind!

He sighed-- im just waiting for it

Laurens Holds back Hamilton who holds the bridge of his nose-- Jesus Mary and Joseph-- he let out a long exhasperated sigh-- weve talked about this burr, you need to commit

Knowing where this could end up the rest change the subject of the talk trying to Keep things calm.

But finally aaron asked her out on a date, jerico was happily waiting for burr who arrived just in time.

The date went smoothly, but jer felt something was off.

--i feel like im boring you, I talk to much I know that

--no no no! Dont say that I enjoy hearing you talk

Jer perks up with a small smile-- I uh...thanks, ill...ill see you later

The date ended leaving burr with the suspicion that something was wrong, he brought this to Alexander who was on the verge of losing his shit.

-- the problem here my friend-- he said gripping aarons shoulder a bit too tight-- is that youre still "waiting for it" she feels as if shes boring you, can you for the love of GOD take a step for once?

--id rather Keep my options Open-- he said before Alex had to leave for some air.

Jer sighed leaving the half written letter on her desk, what was the point if Aaron wasnt interested in her anyway, she sits on her balcony head resting on her hand that was ontop of the handrail.

She ends up falling asleep like that as she ponders of what the world could've been like if burr was interested in her.

One night, just like that in the same spot and way she was, she saw none other than burr.

-- what are you doing here!?!--jer asked amazed.

Burr only looked away-- I just...I am...im...sorry...im not the guy to take a step forward first jerico, Im so in love with you, lord knows I am,im so sorry for making you think im not interested in you...

Jer sighed leaning on the handrail-- its okay burr, but I hope that an apology is not the only thing youre here for

He smiled looking away with his cheeks darkening as he snickered-- no...it isnt,I was actually thinking of serenading you

Jericos brows rise-- oh well then go ahead

The smile that spread on her lips was enough of a confirmation for burr--

Jerico writes me a letter every day

I'm keeping the bed warm while I wait for her but

Jerico, she's mine

Love doesn't discriminate

Between the sinners and the saints

It takes and it takes and it takes

And we keep loving anyway

We laugh and we cry and we break

And we make our mistakes

And if there's a reason I'm by her side

When so many have tried

Then I'm willing to wait for it

I'm willing to wait for it -- burrs passion while singing makes her tear up a bit she claps screaming praises at him.

--come inside, let me hug you!

And he did so,Aaron is almost knocked down to the floor as jerico hugs him tightly sobbing on his shoulder.

He hugs her tightly caressing her hair-- I love you jerico, im sorry it had to come to this...-- he lifted her head up by the chin wiping her tears away.

Jer presses her face against his hand as burr kisses her.

She kisses him back and pulls him close.

That same night he spend it there, no more waiting for it on his end.

#f/o fic #burr tag pending #cw alcohol #tw alcohol #my best try at slowburn cause i cant for the life of me write this #i dont have the patience for this #but enjoy

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stuntchica · 8 years ago

Text

i just keep getting so angry about hospital so im going to try and write down everything bad i can remember them doing to try and get it all out

when they first came to my house dr d completely waved off what i said abt not remembering childhood & being disturbed by that. he asked me to name a childhood toy & after i could he said ‘see, you can remember’ even though id literally seen that toy that morning & was remembering from,, you know,, my whole life not just my childhood

despite the fact that i was not a danger to myself or anyone else, dr d decided after seeing me for 20 minutes that i had to go into hospital. he said i could either come informally myself or he would have me sectioned

i was not told how long i would be there for. we were told to bring an overnight bag so i expected it to just be overnight. when i got there i was told that i’d be there for at least 2 weeks

when they first gave me the menu to order off i wasnt told that there was a Rule that i had to finish everything so i ordered the thing i thought id like the most even tho i knew there was stuff i wouldnt like with it

when the food arrived (pizza, peas & chips) i ate everything except the cheese on the pizza bc it was cheddar & thats a Bad Food(tm) & i was really proud of myself bc it was more than i’d had in one sitting for weeks. the exact words the nurse with me said were ‘this counts as a failure’

when the snack time came around no one told me the full list of options (weeks later i found out that chocolate was available) so i picked a yogurt. after opening it i realised it had bits in it but i was too scared to ask for a different one bc i didnt like any of the other flavours. i ate as much as i could but i rlly couldnt stand the bits. the nurse with me told me it was another failure but another nurse in the room, thankfully, replaced her & understood what had happened

i dont remember what happened on the rest of the first day bc my abandonment fear kicked in and i got really panicked when my parents had to leave

i dont remember the rest in chronological order, but lets see

the room i was put into had a leaky toilet. it would leak all night long and due to how the bathroom was the leak echoed. it sounded like a waterfall. every time they came to fix it it would break again later that day. my shower was also broken and wouldnt turn on

i had to have a blood test on a friday but they didnt send the bloods off straight away so i had to have another one the next monday. keep in mind that i have an intense fear of needles

dr d compared me going on the internet to drug addicts waiting in line for heroine, even after i explained that it was the only way i had to avoid isolating myself & tried to explain what i actually do there

i couldnt eat a meal and was told ‘if you dont start eating we’ll have to make you’ despite the fact that i was eating when i could & if i couldnt finish a meal i was eating chocolate that was in my room. also despite the fact i was an informal patient so that was literally not possible

dr d spent hours trying to convince & guilt me into agreeing to take medication, despite the fact that was the one thing i’d always said no to (fun fact! i literally cant swallow medication. no one took me seriously when i said that either). eventually tho the psychologist spoke to him abt it & he stopped

the first 2 weeks i was there i saw no therapists. at all. because it was the easter holidays and they were away. there was nothing to do all day except watch tv, colour, & play cards. despite the fact that we were all so bored we were not taken out of the hospital or allowed access to our phones

in fact, for the entire 2 months i was there i was only taken out by staff twice. both those times happened in the same day. and were to the same place. a costa that was in the main hospital. does it even count as going out if youre just taken to a different part of the same building?

i had to stay there for 2 months while actively suicidal patients were allowed to leave before their 2 week assessments were over

even my camhs psychologist admitted that she didnt expect them to keep me for more than 2 weeks

the hospital psychologist admitted that she had no idea why dr d was insisting i stay for so long

i was told i was going to be put on a meal plan. i told them that would make me lose weight bc it would further limit how much i could eat. they didnt listen to me and blamed me when i did, in fact, lose weight

for the first month i was there no one did anything about my weight. i had to keep telling them that was my main problem and i needed help with it. after their ‘help’ hindered more than anything i regretted bringing it up

one night we found a piece of paper saying ‘i have a knife and im going to use it to self harm or kill someone’. when we all got, understandably, scared the nurses patronised us and got annoyed with us

a nurse yelled at my friend for ‘not being polite’

my friend managed to run away from the hospital twice. there were warning signs that the rest of the patients picked up on. she nearly killed herself both times

my friend found a razorblade on a seat. she was so shocked to see it there she said out loud ‘there’s a razorblade’. she said later that she regretted alerting everyone to it bc the nurses obviously took it away. we still dont know how it got there

one girl brought in a pair of scissors. no one had thought to check her bag. luckily she didnt intend to use them for anything other than arts & crafts (& cutting her hair, which is how i found out about the scissors & told her to hand them in. yeah, they didnt even notice she had scissors until i pointed them out)

one girl stole a syringe from the medical room and used it to take the supplement out of her nose tube. they didnt notice for weeks.

one week i gained some of weight. when i was happy dr d said ‘thats not really enough to be happy about’. the next week a lost less weight than i had gained. he spent half an hour telling me about how much of a failure i was

dr d tried very hard to have me diagnosed with atypical anorexia despite me consistently saying ‘i want to gain weight because i know im unhealthily underweight’ and the fact that the reason i was admitted to camhs was bc i went to the doctor for help to gain weight

my parents came to collect me to go out every day at 1:30pm. one day by 3:30pm they still werent there. i was scared something had happened because i had no phone to text them using. eventually i was told that the staff had called them to tell them not to come, and no one had told me. i had a panic attack because theyd gone behind my back and this meant i wouldnt be able to text my fp all day. the next day when i saw dr d he said ‘youre nearly 18 isnt it a bit childish to get upset over not seeing your parents for just one day?’

an ot that i saw said that i ‘put on an american accent and smiled when it was pointed out’. what really happened was she asked if i had an american accent and i smiled out of awkwardness and said ‘i speak to american people so maybe i picked it up??�� bc i didnt want her to feel awkward. if she had asked me i would have told her that i wasnt trying to put on any kind of accent

we were allowed to watch the babadook and mama but the second we suggested a film about psychosis we were told no

me and my friend got yelled at for what was on tv once

they called the police on patients, multiple times, when it was clear that no one would have reacted violently if they’d just done their jobs right

my friend cried because she knew after she left hospital she would have a criminal record. she had punched a nurse by accident while having a panic attack

i was told i could go home & was being discharged. i emptied out my room and spent a great 2 weeks at home. then we were called and i was told i had to go back for a night

dr d always had an idea in his head of what was wrong with me, and if i said anything that went against it he’d tell me that i was either lying or in denial

dr d told me off for not looking at him and said it wasnt polite

dr d told me off for crying

dr d told me off for not feeling safe with my eyes closed

dr d told another patient that she was probably not autistic bc she understood what ‘pull your socks up’ meant

despite me saying that i wanted to be assessed for asd nothing happened. they told me that they would consider me to be ‘informally autistic’ but that meant literally nothing

nurses thought that they could get me to eat by sitting next to me and guilting me

very few nurses noticed that i ate chocolate after meals because i was aware of the fact that i wasnt eating much & i wanted to change that

i had to eat chocolate after meals bc no one listened to me when i explained my food issues and that was the only way to make sure i was eating

there was what was basically a riot. i wasnt there when it happened but its easy to see how people got that upset and angry

the day after the riot everyone was punished, even those of us who hadnt even been at the hospital

my friend was shut in the ‘rumpus room’ (padded room). its illegal to do that

it took a month before someone told me i was allowed to discharge myself

i spent two months in a psychiatric hospital. it was never explained why i was there in a way i could understand. dr d literally said ‘my colleagues ask why you’re still here’ yet he didn’t discharge me. if i hadn’t turned 18 im sure i would still be there. i wasnt diagnosed with anything. it made my mental health worse

this isnt even everything because my memory of then is very patchy

#yellow.txt #.txt #long post --#hospital --#food m --#calories m --#ed m --#doctors m --#ask to tag --#ableism ? --#medical abuse ? --#hospital tag

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gyrlversion · 6 years ago

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DUP torpedo Mays deal saying theyd rather delay Brexit for a YEAR

Theresa May’s hopes of a miraculous win on her deal suffered a heavy blow today as the DUP signalled it would rather accept a one year Brexit delay than ever vote for the deal.

DUP Brexit spokesman Sammy Wilson said the Prime Minister’s deal was a ‘prison’ locked by a key held by EU negotiator Michel Barnier.

The intervention is devastating to Mrs May’s bleak hopes. Downing Street had a glimmer of hope this morning when Brexiteer ringleader Jacob Rees-Mogg signalled he was finally ready to climb down.

But if the DUP refuse to endorse the deal at the 11th hour the PM’s chances of winning 75 more votes at the third attempt than she managed on March 12 appear to be shrinking fast.

The Prime Minister has until Friday to pass her deal and secure an orderly exit from the EU – while ministers have threatened to call a general election if the chaos continues and they have a soft Brexit forced upon them in the coming weeks.

But the U-turns from Tories Mr Rees-Mogg, Michael Fabricant and James Gray may prove too late, with some of their hardcore Brexiteer colleagues including Mark Francois and the DUP still refusing to vote for the deal before Friday.

That could mean Brexit will slowly slip away, with MPs set to hold a series of indicative votes on Wednesday to choose their preferred option for Brexit and then try to force the result on May next week.

Writing in the Telegraph, Mr Wilson said that they were in a ‘war of attrition’ with the PM on one side and Remainer son the other.

He said ‘the Withdrawal Agreement itself means no Brexit’, adding: ‘There are some colleagues who I admire greatly and who have stood firmly with us in defending Northern Ireland who now take the view that the Withdrawal Agreement, even though it is a rotten deal, is better than losing Brexit.

‘To them I say that, if the deal goes through, we have lost our right to leave the EU. If we sign up to it, we give away our right to leave to the whim and dictates of the EU. That is not Brexit.

‘Even if we are forced into a one-year extension, we at least would have a say on the things which affect us during that time and would have the right to unilaterally decide to leave at the end of that one-year period through the simple decision of not applying for a further extension.’

The Prime Minister is now expected to address her MPs on Wednesday night, and speculation is high that she could offer to step down to get her deal over the line in a vote on Thursday. Boris Johnson has already indicated that he could back the deal if she agrees to go.

As things stand, Britain will leave the EU on May 22 if the Prime Minister’s deal passes before Friday and April 12 if it does not.

The alternatives for May look bleak as rebel MPs next week plan to force her to adopt a softer Brexit – such as the so-called Norway option – by taking control of the Commons in a historic power grab.

As the Government’s Brexit strategy went into meltdown yesterday, senior ministers ‘war-gamed’ scenarios that could see a general election called three years ahead of schedule because a soft Brexit would shred the Tory manifesto.

An election would cause fresh public uproar, with only 12 per cent of the public wanting one, according to the most recent polling.

The campaign would also likely tear apart the already split Tory and Labour parties because their MPs are bitterly divided over whether to leave the EU, compromise on a soft Brexit or to try to reverse the 2016 referendum and remain.

WHAT WILL HAPPEN TO BREXIT IN THE NEXT WEEK?

TUESDAY MARCH 26: REBEL MPs FINALIZE PLAN FOR INDICATIVE VOTES – WHILE MAY CONTINUES FIGHT TO WIN SUPPORT FOR HER BREXIT DEAL:

Remainer rebels are now trying work out how they will hold the indicative votes on Wednesday while Theresa May scrambles for support for her deal. It is most likely to involve two ’rounds’ of votes, with a favoured option eventually selected on Monday.

WEDNESDAY MARCH 27: MPs HOLD INDICATIVE VOTES ROUND ONE:

MPs are set to hold the ‘first round’ vote choosing their preferred Brexit from options including Norway, a Customs Union, May’s Deal and No Deal. They will most likely be able to choose more than one option at this stage, and will write their preferences on pink slips of paper rather than walking through lobbies in the traditional Commons voting method. The top options would then be put forward to another ’round two’ vote.

COULD STILL HAPPEN THURSDAY MARCH 28: MAY HOLDS A THIRD MEANINGFUL VOTE ON HER BREXIT DEAL:

May is likely to try and pass her Brexit deal a third time, after the EU offered a Brexit date of 22 May if she does so this week. The Prime Minister will use threats that MPs will take control and force a softer Brexit in an attempt to force Brexiteer rebels and the DUP to finally back her. She may also offer them a date when she will quit in return for their support. Thursday is the most likely day for her vote, but there is a chance she won’t hold it if she still does not believe she’ll win.

FRIDAY MARCH 29: MPs TAKE CONTROL?

If the PM loses a third vote on her deal, or does not hold one, by Friday the Brexit date is reset until April. MPs and Remainer Cabinet ministers will try and force her towards a softer Brexit. Brexiteer MPs and Cabinet minister will conversely try and push her towards a No Deal exit from the EU. Minister have also claimed that they could call an election if MPs try to force them into a soft Brexit.

MONDAY APRIL 1: INDICATIVE VOTES ROUND TWO:

MPs are expected to rank their preferences for Brexit. When one option is knocked out, MPs second preferences will be counted. For example if a second referendum is knocked out, its supporters can switch to backing a soft Brexit. Parliament would agree to support the final option.

WEDNESDAY APRIL 3: MPs COULD FORCE MAY’S HAND:

If Theresa May refuses to accept MPs preferred Brexit option, they could try to pass new legislation compelling her to do so.

Arch-Eurosceptic Jacob Rees-Mogg today revealed he is ready to swing behind the Prime Minister’s EU divorce and said: ‘The choice seems to be Mrs May’s deal or no Brexit. The Prime Minister will not deliver a No Deal Brexit. I have always thought that No Deal is better than Mrs May’s deal, but Mrs May’s deal is better than not leaving at all’.

What does Theresa May need to win?

As Theresa May decides whether to risk a third vote on her deal, what she needs to win has not changed.

Just as on January 15 and March 12 the Prime Minister needs to win over a coalition of Brexiteer rebels, the DUP and enough Labour MPs to cover the most hardline Tories who will never vote for it.

She lost the first vote by 230 and the second by 149 – meaning she needs to find 75 votes to win this week.

Her mission looks impossible: there are probably 25 to 35 Tory Brexiteers who will never vote for the deal, plus another half a dozen pro-EU Tories who want a second referendum.

If the 10 DUP refuse to come on board, she probably fails to win even that many Tory Brexiteers.

The chances of 40-plus Labour MPs rebelling is vanishingly small: so far the most who have done so is three.

Asked if that meant the options were now ‘deal or potentially no Brexit’, he told ConHome: ‘That, I think, becomes the choice eventually. Is this deal worse than not leaving? No, definitely not. If we take this deal we are legally out of the EU. Being legally out is of great importance. It restores our independence’.

The ERG chairman’s U-turn will give the PM a glimmer of hope that she could get her EU divorce over the line but she also needs to announce her own exit date if Boris Johnson and other Brexiteers will be convinced.

Mr Rees-Mogg’s change of heart has already convinced others to change their minds with Michael Fabricant saying today: ‘This is the dreadful conclusion I came to too’ while James Gray, who has twice voted against Mrs May’s deal saying: ‘It’s a horrible deal but I’ll hold my nose and support it’.

Rebel Ben Bradley, who only a week ago said he would never back the deal, said today: ‘I’ll back the deal because I honestly don’t see another way forward now that’s not a nightmare’.

There are now around 70 Tory MPs Mrs May still needs to convince before she can get her deal through – but yesterday she was forced to admit to the Commons she does not have ‘the support’ to try again and could even call a general election in a bid to break the deadlock.

Tory MP John Baron said today a snap election was ‘becoming more likely’ and said: ‘It may be that an election is necessary to redress the balance in favour of MPs willing to implement the referendum result, for history suggests it is unwise for any Parliament to distance itself from the people. The events of the next few weeks will be critical’.

Mrs May desperately needs the support of the DUP – but party sources have told Sky News they would prefer a long Article 50 extension to the PM’s deal because they are ‘sick and tired’ of her handling of the crisis.

With Theresa May desperately trying to gather support for her deal, it emerged today:

Tomorrow night Theresa May will address the Tory party’s 1922 committee of backbenchers – raising expectations she will announce her departure;

Brexiteers are finally swinging behind the PM’s EU divorce – but she still needs to convince at least 70 more Tories on both sides of the Brexit debate to change their minds;

The DUP is refusing to budge and say the PM can have their support if the Irish backstop is ‘changed or deleted’;

MPs will vote on the other Brexit options tomorrow night and have pledged to change the law to force the Government’s hand if she tries to ignore their conclusions;

The PM also needs the DUP on side today but MP Jim Shannon said that while some ERG members are ‘melting away’ – ‘nothing has changed’ for his party.

He said: ‘Some of them see Brexit as a greater priority than the union. We see the union as more important’.

Mrs May will only hold another meaningful vote on her Brexit deal if she believes she can win it, and the decision by MPs to take control of Wednesday’s Commons business meant it was ‘extremely unlikely’ the deal would return tomorrow.

After a lengthy Cabinet meeting, Prime Minister Theresa May’s official spokesman added: ‘They had a long discussion both in relation to the votes which took place last night and on the work which is ongoing to build support for the Government’s deal to allow us to leave the EU in an orderly way as soon as possible.’

The spokesman added: ‘If we are able to hold and win a vote this week we would then be able to leave the EU in less than two months’ time with a deal, which the Prime Minister firmly believes is what the public wants.’

Boris Johnson waves to protesters as he drives into Parliament today as rumours grew that Mrs May could be willing to announce her departure in return for his support

International Development Secretary Penny Mordaunt (left today) warned last night that there would be ‘gilet jaune’ protests if the Governmnet failed to deliver Brexit while Liz Truss (right today) has previously insisted that No Deal should be remain an option

Michael Gove was called back to Downing Street after a cabinet meeting with Theresa May this morning. It is not known why he returned

The decision by the leader of the hardline European Research Group (ERG) would be a huge boost for the Prime Minister if the DUP come onside.

But that remains highly uncertain after the party’s leader Arlene Foster yesterday effectively vetoed plans for another meaningful vote on the deal and the DUP rounded on Mrs May in the Commons.

Mr Rees-Mogg last night confirmed he had made the conditional pledge on backing the PM’s deal at an ERG meeting in Westminster. Asked after the meeting whether he believed the DUP would come onboard, Mr Rees-Mogg said: ‘The DUP want guarantees. It doesn’t look like they’ve got them at the moment.

Asked again whether they might get them this week, he replied: ‘Who knows.’

Should Mr Rees-Mogg come onboard, he is likely to take a number of other MPs with him.

Brexiteer Bob Seely tweeted: ‘Am hearing from colleagues that this is – potentially – significant, that’s how it’s being portrayed. Maybe start of something – I hope so – but DUP still need to move.

‘If they do, the Deal is back in business. Hope not a red herring.’

But the positive tone was not echoed by many of the others in the room, some of whom said the group was split 50-50.

Speaking at the Bruges Group today – an organisation for the most hardline Brexiteers – ex-Brexit Minister Suella Braverman said she could never countenance voting for deal even if crushing it meant staying in the EU.

She said: ‘Perhaps we may have failed to deliver Brexit this time. If we have to keep fighting, so we must do.’

DUP Brexit spokesman Sammy Wilson also set out in ‘clear terms’ last night to the ERG why he would yet not support the PM’s deal, according to one of those present.

It came as a row broke out after the group of Brexiteers who visited Chequers yesterday were said to have nicknamed themselves the ‘Grand Wizards’.

The reference quickly turned into a row as it is the name of some of the high-ranking members of the racist group the Ku Klux Klan. However the group quickly denied that they had given themselves the nickname. Mr Rees-Mogg said: ‘We are not in the habit of giving ourselves names.’

The ERG met last night to discuss what approach to take on the deal, but there was little consensus as they left.

One said: ‘Some of us were trying to make the rest see sense that if they don’t vote for [the deal] now we will lose Brexit.’

But another said he was ‘appalled and disgusted’ by the process, adding: ‘The British people won’t forgive us [if they vote for the deal].

‘If we give in we’ll never know whether we could have achieved it. It’s not worth capitulating now

I don’t think the mood of country would be good.

‘Sammy Wilson just spoke. He explained in really clear terms why he won’t support it. He said it was unacceptable.

How the election that no one wants COULD happen: Government’s threat of new poll could lead to anarchy by tearing Tories and Labour apart in bitter campaign

Cabinet ministers have warned there may have to another snap election to end the Brexit impasse – despite the Tories being split by Europe and Labour riven by internal division.

The warning from Brexit Secretary Stephen Barclay came despite a poll in January which found just 12 per cent of voters want a general election to sort out the mess.

Theresa May and Jeremy Corbyn are plumbing record-breaking new depths in their personal polling – while polls show the Brexit crisis is causing rising alarm among voters who think Britain’s political ‘system is broken’.

Both main parties have lost members to the biggest split in politics in more than 30 years as 11 MPs defected to the new Independent Group.

And the Prime Minister herself has admitted she will not lead her party into the next scheduled election – and yet is still facing demands to call an immediate poll.

Whatever happens, a fresh election is sure to unleash more anarchy after two years of Brexit chaos.

Why is the government threatening to call an election?

The question of whether to call an election finally reached the Cabinet this week.

Brexit Secretary Stephen Barclay warned the rejection of Mrs May’s deal would set in train a series of events that will lead to a softer Brexit – meaning an election because so many MPs will have to break manifesto promises.

Last night’s Commons vote to seize control of Brexit from ministers will only fuel the demands.

Labour has been calling for a new vote for months, insisting the Government has failed to deliver Brexit.

Mr Corbyn called a vote of no confidence in the Government in January insisting the failure of the first meaningful vote showed Mrs May’s administration was doomed. He lost but the calls did not go away.

Brexiteers have joined the demands in recent days as Parliament wrestles with Brexit and amid fears among hardliners promises made by both main parties at the last election will be broken – specifically on leaving the Customs Union and Single Market.

Tory MP Andrew Bridgen wants Mrs May replaced with a Brexiteer. He believes it would push Remain Tories out of the party and then allow a snap election with more Eurosceptic candidates wearing blue rosettes.

What might happen?

Both main parties will have to write a manifesto – including a position on Brexit. Both parties are deeply split – in many cases between individual MPs and their local activists.

Under Mrs May, the Tories presumably try to start with the deal. But it is loathed by dozens of current Tory MPs who want a harder Brexit and hated even more by grassroots Tory members.

Shifting Tory policy on Brexit to the right would alienate the majority of current MPs who voted to Remain.

Labour has similar splits. Many of Labour’s MPs and activists want Mr Corbyn to commit to putting Brexit to a second referendum – most with a view to cancelling it.

Mr Corbyn is a veteran Eurosceptic and millions of people who voted Leave in 2016 backed Labour in 2017.

The splits set the stage for a bitter and chaotic election. The outcome is highly unpredictable – the Tories start in front but are probably more divided on the main question facing the country.

Labour is behind but knows it made dramatic gains in the polls in the last election with its promises of vastly higher public spending.

Neither side can forecast what impact new political forces might wield over the election or how any public anger over the Brexit stalemate could play out.

It could swing the result in favour of one of the main parties or a new force.

Or an election campaign that takes months, costs millions of pounds could still end up in a hung Parliament and continued stalemate.

How is an election called? When would it be?

Because of the Fixed Term Parliaments Act passed by the coalition, the Prime Minister can no longer simply ask the Queen to dissolve the Commons and call an election. There are two procedures instead.

First – and this is what happened in 2017 – the Government can table a motion in the Commons calling for an early election. Crucially, this can only pass with a two-thirds majority of MPs – meaning either of the main parties can block it.

Second an election is called if the Government loses a vote of no confidence and no new administration can be built within 14 days.

In practice, this is can only happen if Tory rebels vote with Mr Corbyn – a move that would end the career of any Conservative MP who took the step.

An election takes a bare minimum of five weeks from start to finish and it would take a week or two to get to the shut down of Parliament, known as dissolution – putting the earliest possible polling day around mid to late May.

If the Tories hold a leadership election first it probably pushes any election out to late June at the earliest.

What about a Brexit Party?

There is a new Brexit Party set up by former Ukip officials and endorsed by Nigel Farage. It is administratively more advanced than TIG – it already registered with the Electoral Commission.

But its first leader has already resigned over racist tweets and it has no serving MPs to start with.

It faces all the same problems as TIG on top of having fewer experienced politicians in charge.

Could the Independent Group get involved?

Not right now because they are not yet a political party – so it depends exactly when an election is called. If they register with the Electoral Commission, the TIG could in theory stand candidates across the country and try to gain a foothold.

Polls in the aftermath of the group’s sensational launch suggested support of around 14 per cent – more than the Liberal Democrats.

The challenge will come in how the vote is spread around the country. TIG can only win seats if it piles up votes in constituencies – meaning it could win millions of votes but few seats.

Frustrated Remain supporters could flock to a new party if there was a national offer – but cutting through TV broadcast rules past the main parties has historically been very difficult in British elections.

The Tories start in front – with recent polling putting the Tories on 35 per cent ahead of Labour on 31 per cent – but both Theresa May and Jeremy Corbyn are plumbing new depths of unpopularity

Arch-Eurosceptic Jacob Rees-Mogg today revealed he is ready to swing behind the Prime Minister’s EU divorce and said: ‘The choice seems to be Mrs May’s deal or no Brexit’. Brexiteer Michael Fabricant also admitted today that he has come to the ‘dreadful conclusion’ that he must also back the PM’s deal

The defeated Prime Minister photographed leaving the Palace of Westminster last night after enduring yet another torrid day over Brexit

These are the seven options for Brexit MPs could vote on this week if Mrs May is forced towards a softer Brexit

There had been hope yesterday that the Brexiteers would be won over to back Mrs May’s deal following their visit to Chequers on Sunday.

‘I’m going to wake up tomorrow morning with a broad grin on my face’: Gloating Remainer rebel MP Nick Boles celebrates taking control of Brexit

Remainer Nick Boles has hailed a ‘momentous’ victory over his Prime Minister and said he would ‘wake up smiling’ today

Remainers are cock-a-hoop today after MPs wrestled control of Brexit from Theresa May last night with buoyant rebels hailing a ‘momentous’ victory and pledging to change the law if she tries to ignore them.

Theresa May warned the Commons yesterday they would be betraying those who voted to leave the EU before they voted to hold a series of votes that could determine how – if at all – the UK leaves the European Union.

Last night Tory Nick Boles called the result ‘very exciting’ and said: ‘Do you know what? I’m going to wake up tomorrow morning with a broad grin on my face. I’m going to think — I finally live in a parliamentary democracy, where parliament is sovereign.’

Earlier in a statement to MPs, the Prime Minister warned she would not feel bound by the results of any indicative votes – which could include a softer, Norway-style deal, a second referendum or revoking the Article 50 withdrawal process altogether.

But Mr Boles warned that MPs would force Mrs May’s hand with new legislation if she refused to do their bidding.

He told the BBC’s Newsnight show: ‘If the government refuses to listen to what Parliament has voted for we will bring forward a bill that will require it to reflect Parliament’s wishes.’

Pro-Europe Tory MP Mr Boles, who backed the indicative votes amendment, added: ‘It is a much better victory than any of us had dared hope.’

The Commons voted by 329 votes to 302 – a majority of 27 – to approve an amendment brought by Tory ex-minister Sir Oliver Letwin allowing it to take control of business tomorrow from the Government.

This will allow MPs to select their favorite Brexit option in so-called ‘indicative votes’, which are likely to include soft Brexit options and the possibility of remaining in the European Union.

Three ministers were among 30 Tory rebels who defied the Prime Minister and backed the amendment or abstained.

Iain Duncan Smith, Boris Johnson, Jacob Rees-Mogg, Steve Baker, Dominic Raab and other key Brexiteers met yesterday morning to discuss their next moves, but did not reach a consensus.

Yesterday, Mrs May faced attacks from the DUP’s deputy leader Nigel Dodds yesterday in the Commons after she said more time was needed to prepare Northern Ireland for the possibility of a no-deal Brexit.

Mr Dodds said the Government was ‘entirely responsible’ for what he described as a ‘fundamental lack of preparation.’

Rebel MPs voted to seize control of Brexit from the embattled Prime Minister last night, despite warnings from the Government that continued chaos will force it to call another general election.

Three pro-EU ministers quit the Government to back a Commons amendment enabling MPs to take control of Commons business to stage a series of ‘indicative votes’ on alternatives to the Prime Minister’s deal tomorrow.

However, Mrs May has warned the government is not bound to honour the result of the indicative votes as they ‘could lead to an outcome that is unnegotiable with the EU’.

Asked if the indicative vote should be a free vote for MPs, Minister for Children Nadhim Zahawi told the BBC today: ‘I suspect it must be because if the will of Parliament is to have free votes, indicative votes, then that will be it.

‘But, I wait to see what the details are and how we vote on the different options.’

He added: ‘I want to vote for the Prime Minister’s deal because I think all other options are recipes for chaos.’

As the Government’s Brexit strategy went into meltdown, senior ministers ‘war-gamed’ scenarios that could see a national poll called three years ahead of schedule because a soft Brexit would shred the Tory manifesto.

But the most recent poll on the issue was carried out by Opinium two months ago found that only 12 per cent of Britons would welcome another general election.

The campaign would also likely tear apart the already split Tory and Labour parties because their MPs are already bitterly divided over whether to leave the EU or to reverse the 2016 referendum and remain.

Business minister Richard Harrington, who resigned along with Middle East minister Alistair Burt and health minister Steve Brine, said the Government was ‘playing roulette’ with peoples’ lives and livelihoods in its handling of Brexit.

Mr Brine told the BBC: ‘I will still, as I said in my letter to the Prime Minister. I will still support her deal. I still think it is the best of the options. Maybe what last night will do is focus some minds… those on my side who don’t like the deal, maybe they will realise that the House of Commons is prepared to act.

‘And, anything from here, as far as they are concerned, gets softer in terms of Brexit.’

Mr Brine said: ‘If the House of Commons just simply cannot come up with anything to move us out of this then everything is on the table.

‘You have to accept that a second referendum or revoking Article 50 are on the table because they will probably be some options.’

Mr Brine told the BBC: ‘You also have to remember that the manifesto of 2017 did not win a majority in the House of Commons.

‘And this is the crux of the whole matter, that the House of Commons and executive-led Government works when you have got a majority in the House of Commons.

‘We don’t have a majority in the House. And, possibly, that would be one of my criticisms of my Government is that we haven’t reached across the aisle enough.’

EU hails Parliament’s ‘Brexit revolt’ and says the PM is missing the ‘basic human skills you need to be a political leader’

The European Parliament’s top Brexit official has said that ‘we see for the moment a real Brexit revolt’ in the United Kingdom, with over five million people signing an online petition to revoke Britain’s decision to leave the EU and a million taking to the streets to stay in the EU.

Guy Verhofstadt said he felt especially encouraged by the vote in the House of Commons seizing more control over the stalled Brexit process.

That has set up a series of votes this week that could dramatically alter the course of the UK’s departure.

Mr Verhofstadt said: ‘It is possible now to work in Britain toward a cross-party alliance.’

He added: ‘I hope it will lead to a proposal that can be backed by a majority (in Westminster).’

Meanwhile Philippe Lamberts, a Belgian Green MEP in the European Parliament, has slammed Mrs May’s performance at last week’s summit.

He said that the PM lacks the ‘basic human skills you need to be a political leader’ and ‘had upset even the mannered Prime Minister of Luxembourg’.

Richard Harrington, the former business minister who resigned last night after voting against the Government on a motion to hold indicative votes on Brexit in Parliament on Wednesday, said: ‘All we can do is what’s in our power, and what’s in our power is to get a clear direction from Parliament as to what is acceptable rather than what’s not acceptable.

‘I don’t regard it as undemocratic for Parliament to decide in the absence of Government, be able to provide a clear direction from this policy of ‘my deal or no deal’.’

He said he expected the Prime Minister to follow the will of Parliament if a majority is formed for one pathway for Brexit on Wednesday, unless the choice of Parliament was ‘so off the wall and so outrageous she couldn’t do it’.

‘A responsible Prime Minister, which I believe she is, will say, ‘I would rather have my deal, Parliament’s wish is clearly Norway or customs union or whatever it is. I therefore will go to Brussels with that, but I’m perfectly prepared to put my deal to Parliament against that’.’

Asked why he had not resigned sooner, he said: ‘I can’t answer that question… I’d hoped with the undertakings that David Lidington and others had given, that we wouldn’t have reached this position. It was really a timing issue.’

The result means MPs can potentially dictate business of the Commons – normally controlled by the Government – for days to come, potentially paving the way for a ‘softer’ deal that keeps Britain closer to the EU.

Brexit Secretary Stephen Barclay arrives in Downing Street after a humbling defeat for the Government in the Commons last night

Brexiteer Chief Secretary to the Treasury Liz Truss arrives for the crunch cabinet meeting where Theresa May will need to set out what she needs to do to get her deal through

The cabinet is split over Brexit with Business Secretary Greg Clark Minister of State for Immigration Caroline Nokes pushing for the remain side

Speaker Bercow sparks fury after ‘insulting’ Tory MP

John Bercow again started anger among MPs over his style of management in the House of Commons. He clashed with Greg Hands, saying: ‘He was once a whip, he wasn’t a very good whip’

Divisive Speaker John Bercow sparked uproar in the Commons after clashing with a former Tory whip.

MPs demanded an apology after accusing Mr Bercow of ‘insulting’ Greg Hands after appearing to insult him over his skills in the disciplinary roll.

Tory Mr Hands, who was deputy chief whip under David Cameron between 2013 and 2015, had attempted to interrupt Mr Bercow, prompting the Speaker to react badly.

Mr Bercow said: ‘I don’t require any help from the right honourable gentleman for Chelsea and Fulham. I wouldn’t have the foggiest idea where to start. He was once a whip, he wasn’t a very good whip.’

There was uproar in the chamber as MPs clamoured for an apology, with former Tory chairman Sir Patrick McLoughlin making a point of order accusing the Speaker of a lack of respect.

Mr Bercow tried to make peace, saying: ‘What I would say is if I have caused offence I very happily apologise.’

Ministers will consider their response at the weekly meeting of the Cabinet in Downing Street today.

Health Secretary Matt Hancock called on MPs to back Prime Minister Theresa May’s Brexit deal, telling BBC Radio 4’s Today programme: ‘If anything, yesterday in the House of Commons demonstrated that the option of no deal simply won’t be allowed by the Commons.

‘And the best way through this impasse is the one deal that has been negotiated with the EU that can be delivered quickly now.’

Mr Hancock said: ‘Clearly, it’s incumbent on the Government to listen to what the Commons says. But we can’t pre-commit to following whatever they vote for, because they might vote for something that is completely impractical.’

Attorney General Geoffrey Cox told a meeting of the Cabinet that failure to pass Mrs May’s plan in the coming weeks would almost inevitably lead to an election.

Writing in the Daily Mail, he today makes a last-ditch appeal to hardline Leavers to get behind Mrs May – or face losing Brexit altogether. Two weeks ago his legal advice led many Tory MPs to reject the withdrawal agreement because of fears the UK could remain in the Irish border backstop.

But today he argues the plan’s disadvantages have been ‘exaggerated and demonised’ by opponents of Brexit.

If MPs do not vote for the agreement in the coming days, he says the Commons will ‘exert itself’ and try to force either a second referendum, or a plan that keeps the UK inside the customs union and single market.

He warns ‘powerful and unreconciled forces’ who opposed Brexit were still trying to stop it and says his biggest fear is the UK will never regain its ‘independence’.

He says: ‘We must grasp our freedom now and heed the beckoning call of the future, for if we do not, history will marvel that we spurned this fleeting moment of opportunity.’

Theresa May indicated in the Commons earlier today that she would allocate Government time for indicative votes if the Letwin Amendment was defeated

The historic moment the Government lost the Letwin amendment by 329 votes to 302, a whopping majority of 27 for the rebels. The last time a similar vote was held a fortnight ago it lost by two votes

At yesterday’s Cabinet meeting, Brexit Secretary Steve Barclay repeated his weekend warning that an election would be the logical conclusion of the Government losing control over the Brexit process.

80% of Britons say the PM bungled Brexit talks – but there is no appetite for a second referendum on EU membership, new poll says

Over four in five voters believe that the UK government is handling Britain’s exit from the EU badly

More than 80% of the country think the Government has handled the Brexit negotiations badly – but they do not want a second referendum that asks if the UK should remain in the EU, a new poll suggests.

A survey by NatCen Social Research found that just 7% of Britons thought ministers had done a good job in the talks, while 81% said they were handling them badly.

The researchers asked more than 2,600 adults last month about their views on Brexit – and compared them with data from 2017.

It suggested that public faith in the negotiations has dramatically fallen.

In 2017, 41% said the talks were being handled badly by the Government, and 29% thought ministers were doing well.

The research also found both Leavers and Remainers were as likely to think the Prime Minister’s deal is bad – 66% and 64% respectively – up from 20% and 56% in 2017.

And the figures suggested a rise in the number of people who think Brexit will negatively impact the economy – up from 46% in 2017 to 58% in 2019.

John Curtice, senior research fellow at NatCen Social Research, said: ‘Given the polarisation of attitudes, there was always a risk that the Brexit negotiations would result in an outcome that would fail to satisfy most voters.

‘But what perhaps is particularly remarkable is that Leave voters have become just as critical as Remain supporters of both the process and the outcome.

‘That is not an outcome that would necessarily have been anticipated, and certainly does not help the Prime Minister in her efforts to secure parliamentary approval of the deal.’

Fellow ministers Liam Fox, Andrea Leadsom and Alan Cairns also warned that they believed an election was increasingly likely.

One source said: ‘If we lose control of the process then we are heading for an election.

‘We’ll either lose a confidence vote – in which case you could even get Corbyn without an election – or we will be forced to go for an election ourselves.’

Another source said: ‘It’s not just scaremongering, it’s the only way out of this.’

A Downing Street spokesman said that Mrs May was opposed to a general election.

But a senior Tory source acknowledged it was a growing possibility, adding: ‘The reason the Cabinet is so determined to get this deal through is that there is a full understanding that the alternatives are pretty grim.’

Mrs May told yesterday’s emergency Cabinet meeting that she hoped to put her agreement to the vote for a third time today.

But the move was vetoed by the DUP, whose support is seen as critical in persuading Eurosceptic Tories to fall in line.

The Prime Minister told MPs: ‘With great regret I have had to conclude that as things stand, there is still not sufficient support in the House to bring back a third meaningful vote.’

Mrs May’s deputy David Lidington last night said the Government still hoped to hold a vote this week. But the DUP appeared to be digging in. Deputy leader Nigel Dodds rounded angrily on Mrs May in the Commons yesterday after she said more time was needed to prepare Northern Ireland for the possibility of No Deal.

Mr Dodds said the Government was ‘entirely responsible’ for what he described as a ‘fundamental lack of preparation’.

Plans for the Government to put forward its own proposals for indicative votes were dropped ahead of yesterday’s meeting. Many ministers, including Dr Fox, Chris Grayling, Gavin Williamson and Mrs Leadsom, are opposed to the process. But Mr Lidington tried to head off a defeat last night by pledging that the Government would provide Commons time for MPs to try to reach an agreement on an alternative Brexit.

Sir Oliver told MPs his plan, which has been rejected by MPs twice since the start of the year, would allow Parliament to vote tomorrow on a string of Brexit options. These might include a customs union, a single market, a second referendum and even revocation of Article 50.

Mrs May said she was sceptical that the process would find a solution, adding: ‘No government could give a blank cheque to commit to an outcome without knowing what it is.’ Asked whether she would be prepared for a customs union if Parliament backed it, she replied: ‘No one would want to support an option which contradicted the manifesto on which they stood.’

Labour backed Sir Oliver’s plan. But its Brexit spokesman, Sir Keir Starmer, also refused to guarantee to back any resulting proposal.

MPs take back control: Now Rebels have seized control of the Commons what happens now and will they be able to force through a soft Brexit?

Rebel MPs seized control of the Commons from ministers last night, adding a new element of chaos to the Brexit endgame.

A cross party group coordinated by Tory Oliver Letwin and Labour’s Yvette Cooper won a vote that will mean MPs dictate what the Commons debates and votes on tomorrow.

The exact rules of the process will be hammered out today but it appears there will be a first round tomorrow to set out the options and then actual votes on Monday night to find MPs’ favourite.

MPs are set to use ‘pink slips’ to vote via ballot box on the various options. It will streamline the process – meaning MPs will not have to repeatedly march through the lobbies – and allow all options to be voted on at once.

It is a dramatic change for how MPs normally vote, which is to say yes or no to a question, not to compare options.

The move is constitutionally unprecedented. MPs will set out their own options after resisting Government plans to set up its votes on seven options – the existing deal, cancelling Brexit altogether, a new referendum, a Norway-style soft Brexit, a Canada-style hard Brexit, a UK-EU customs union or No Deal.

The moves leave wide open the kind of Brexit Britain might try to navigate.

But Mrs May has already warned she may not be able to deliver on what MPs want. She said the plan should be compatible with party manifestos at the last election and must be negotiable with the EU.

It all comes against a backdrop of furious rumours Mrs May is on the brink of being ousted by her Cabinet. The risks appear to have receded this morning after weekend claims ministers were poised – but despite there being no procedural way to remove her a public withdrawal of political support would finish her.

This is your guide to what happens next:

What happened last night?

MPs have finally done what they have threatened to do for months: Seized control of the Commons agenda so they can stage their own debates and votes on Brexit. It is constitutionally unprecedented.

What does it mean?

This will only become clear in the coming hours but in the first instance it means rebel-controlled debates on Wednesday about indicative votes on a possible Brexit solution.

It will mean the Commons directly voting on a range of options more expansive than Mrs May’s deal or No Deal for the first time. The conclusions will not be legally binding but be politically significant.

The exact rules of the process will be hammered out today but it appears likely there will be a first round tomorrow to set out the options and then actual votes on Monday night to find MPs’ favourite.

Has it ever been done before?

No. A similar process was attempted in 2003 to assess options for Lords reform. MPs used their normal voting procedure to say yes or no to seven options and rejected all seven.

What kind of Brexit will MPs vote for?

Nobody knows for sure. The assumption of most people in Westminster is Parliament would vote for a much softer Brexit than that on offer by Mrs May. This would likely mean staying in the EU Customs Union and Single Market.

Brussels has said it would accept this in the right circumstances but it would break most of Mrs May’s red lines – the ability to strike trade deals, to escape the European Court and almost certainly free movement of people.

Will May be forced out by her Cabinet?

The immediate risk appears to have receded since rumours of a Cabinet coup spread like wildfire over the weekend. There is no procedural way to remove her – but a public withdrawal of political support would finish the PM.

What was agreed at the EU summit last week?

EU leaders have approved a two-part delay to Brexit following late night talks.

Brexit is set to be delayed until April 12 whatever happens next week, giving the UK an extra two weeks.

If MPs pass the Brexit deal before then, the extension will run until May 22.

What does it mean?

The immediate risk of the UK leaving without a deal on Friday, March 29, is effectively over – subject to a change in UK law but this should be a formality.

Brexiteers will still believe they can secure a No Deal exit on April 12 while Remainers will see it as an opportunity to lock in a much longer delay.

Will there be a third vote on the deal and when will it be?

Mrs May says she will only have one if she can win this time – but is still working on it. Most currently expect it to be held tomorrow night but this is not fixed. Thursday is also under consideration.

Can she win?

It looks unlikely. The prospect of No Deal on April 12 will encourage Brexiteers they should vote down the deal a third time.

There is currently little sign the DUP are being won over by a political offensive behind the scenes.

Mrs May also alienated Labour MPs with her angry speech on Wednesday night.

It seems possible she could end up losing the third vote by a bigger margin than the 149 votes she lost the second one.

What if she does win?

If the PM manages a great escape, then Britain will be on track to leave on May 22. The Government will move quickly to get the necessary laws in place.

What if she loses?

The EU has made clear that if the deal goes down a third time, Britain must come back with a plan in time for the new deadline of April 12.

Most urgently, a decision will have to be made on whether the UK takes part in European Parliament elections on May 23. If it does not, there will be No Deal – and Mrs May says electing MEPs would be the wrong thing to do.

However, there is still a majority of MPs in Parliament against No Deal so the choice could be taken away from the PM.

If elections are agreed in the UK there will probably be a new EU summit around April 10 to approve a much longer extension – perhaps to the end of 2019 or even longer.

The UK will have to have a new plan for what to do with the time as Brussels has made clear it cannot keep going over the same deal.

Will MPs vote on other options?

Probably. Tonight’s vote could setup a full-blown ‘indicative vote’ that would set all the options against each other. A defeated Government could stage the same procedure.

There are claims the Government would put up seven options: Mrs May’s Deal, No Deal, Revoking Article 50, a Second Referendum, a Customs Union soft Brexit deal, an even softer Customs Union and Single Market deal, and a Canada-style Free Trade Agreement deal.

The idea would be to find what kind of Brexit might be supported by Parliament or if there is none, see if there is support for a new public vote.

Will May resign?

Nobody knows. No Prime Minister has ever soaked up so much humiliation and carried on and yet Mrs May is still in Downing Street.

She suggested last week she would not accept a long delay beyond June 30, seen by many as a hint she would resign if it had to happen.

A third defeat for the deal this week would also provoke huge calls for her to resign.

A move to No Deal could also see some Tory MPs join with Labour to force the Government out with a vote of no confidence.

What happens to Brexit if May goes or the Government collapses?

It is hard to know. Even with a tweak to the law to change the date, Brexit will still happen with No Deal on April 12 if other choices keep being rejected.

But we also know there is a majority of MPs against a No Deal Brexit. It is possible there are enough Tory MPs prepared to remove the Government to stop No Deal by installing a Corbyn government ahead of a snap election.

Only the Government can bring forward the necessary change in the law to change the Brexit date.

What is Labour’s position?

Labour says no deal must be stopped – but also says it will not vote for Mrs May’s deal.

It wanted a three month delay to renegotiate the political declaration on the final UK-EU relationship but this would require it form a Government more or less immediately.

Were it to do so, it would try pass the divorce deal attached to a new political declaration that said the final relationship would be based on a permanent customs union.

It has passed no comment on the actual proposed delay.

Will there have to be a new election or a referendum?

This falls into the anything is possible category. Parliament is deadlocked and has been for months – which suggests an election is necessary.

And yet the governing Tory party clearly has little idea what it would put to the country or who would lead it into an election. An election can be forced without the consent of the Tories but it is very difficult.

Similarly, it is far from clear there are the votes for a referendum in the Commons. The idea was crushed last week because Labour did not vote for it.

Will Brexit ever happen?

Almost three years after the referendum, this depends entirely on your view of events. The law says it will but there are enough MPs to at least change the date if given the chance to do so.

It could now happen on April 12 or May 22. Or it could be delayed much further.

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