#they said so few words to each other. sora has the face of the person ventus hates the most.

[mxdotpng]

fresh static snow is a heart hotel song. not elaborating

[phoenix-downer]

Compelled to Act

3325 words. Sora/Kairi. Post-Canon. Kairi POV. Grief/Mourning, Survivor's Guilt, Angst, Romance, Hope. For SoKai Day 2023: The Future.

Summary: As Kairi grapples with her grief and guilt, she has a dream about Sora in Quadratum. She might not be able to speak, but he has so many things he wants to say.

What if we don’t succeed?

It was a thought Kairi hardly allowed herself. They would save Sora. They had to. It wasn’t a question of if, but when. To admit otherwise would mean she would have to face her grief, that she couldn’t keep running and hiding, then sleeping and searching, and now pouring herself into her training instead.

“There is no right way to grieve,” her mother had told her the morning after Sora’s disappearance, when she was crying so much she thought she would break into a million pieces and never be whole again. How could she be whole when she’d lost the person she was supposed to spend the rest of her life with? She knew she and Sora were young, that the adults would patronizingly tell them to wait a few more years and see if they could really go the distance with their infuriatingly smug smiles. Young love, it never lasts, they would say. Except sometimes it does. Sometimes you meet the right person young and get to enjoy growing old together. She knew she and Sora truly loved each other and would’ve gone the distance.

“You have to grieve on your own terms,” her mother had said the day after that, when Kairi still didn’t want to get out of bed. “The pain will never fully go away, but it’ll get lighter. You’ll learn to live with it.”

Well, Kairi didn’t want to learn to live without Sora. That was the entire point. And while she knew plenty of people felt irrational guilt over the death of their loved ones, her guilt was entirely rational. It really should have been her instead. The only reason it wasn’t was because Sora had intervened and substituted himself in her place instead.

The tear-streaked faces of their friends made her question his decision. Everyone would be happier if it were me and not you. So why did you do it?

She summoned her Keyblade and focused on the nearby dummy Aqua had set out. A cool evening breeze tugged at her hair and clothes. The Land of Departure was beautiful with its ponds and starlit skies and sprawling castle halls full of history, and she enjoyed living here. It was just strange how the entire universe kept chugging along like one of its brightest lights going missing wasn’t a problem.

A wall of red-hot flames erupted from her Keyblade and struck the dummy. All of her anger and rage at Sora’s disappearance (she couldn’t bring herself to say death) channeled into a nice clean burst of flame. The dummy was well and truly charred afterwards, as was the nearby grass. She examined her handiwork with grim satisfaction. So much for having only a heart of pure light. More like an existence that brings total destruction and death.

That’s all I’m good for, getting the people I love hurt and killed. She was training further so she wouldn’t be such a burden, but what was the point? Even if she did see Sora again, he was better off without her. If he got too close to her again, he’d just get hurt and tormented and tortured and killed. Again.

She lifted her Keyblade once more. It was a good thing Riku was the one who had gone after Sora. He was actually good at saving him. At helping him. For all his issues with darkness, Riku was much better at healing and restoring people than she was.

She smiled wryly. If Riku was what monsters feared, if he was the one who consumed Sora’s nightmares, then she was an angel of death, a siren luring Sora to his doom. Looks and appearances were deceiving. Everyone thought Riku was the villain, the problem. All along it had been her.

A moment later, water shot out of her Keyblade and doused the charred dummy. She absently wondered if all her tears for Sora would match the amount of water that had just swallowed the dummy in its relentless onslaught. There had been so many of them and they’d come in powerful, intense bursts until she’d gone to sleep to search for clues as to his whereabouts. Now that she was awake again, there wasn’t as much crying anymore, but grief bursts still hit her every now and then. Still engulfed her in their powerful waves and cast her adrift until she found something to cling to, something to ground her.

She reached into her pocket and grasped the Wayfinder that Aqua had given to her. It was pink and purple and made with care, and feeling its smooth glassy surface kept her in the moment.

Did Sora still have her lucky charm? She could only hope so. Did he even remember who she was? Who he was? That was the question. He was in some other realm, but what was his existence even like? And how was it any different from death, really? Torn apart from all the people he loved and separated from them by a wide gulf. That was what death was, separation of the soul from the body, of the self from one’s loved ones.

She assumed his soul and his body were still one, but he was far from them, so while he might not be truly dead, it didn’t seem like he was really alive, either. And even if Riku did find him, how in the worlds was he supposed to bring Sora back? Sora had broken a nature taboo, and she doubted Death would relinquish its prize without a fight.

Riku, don’t do anything stupid, please, she silently begged. She knew Riku was careful and a lot more measured and guarded than she and Sora were, but she still couldn’t help but worry.

After another round with the dummy that left it electrified and then frozen solid, she decided to give the poor thing a break from her wrath and call it a night. Dinner had happened hours ago with Terra, Aqua, Ven, and Chirithy, so it was time for bed now. She stopped by the castle’s kitchen briefly to grab a quick snack and then trekked up the old, winding stairs to her little room on the second floor.

The extra practice had another purpose beyond honing her skills. If she was tired enough, she would fall asleep quickly instead of tossing and turning for hours on end as sleep eluded her and her fears and regrets haunted her instead.

Of course, sometimes dreaming wasn’t much better. Her dreams, when she remembered them, were either fragmented and disjointed or disturbing and dreadful. The others had had dreams of Sora, and she’d had that single dream that gave them the clue they needed to continue their search. But ever since then he had been absent from her dreams, or if he’d visited, she couldn’t remember upon waking.

Still, that was better than not being able to sleep at all. Thankfully, exhaustion won out tonight, and she soon slipped into sleep, hoping that she wouldn’t remember any of her dreams and would just be able to escape for a little while.

A big, modern city with soaring skyscrapers and winding streets. Water drip, drip, dripping as the light rain covered everything in a wet film. Red and green and yellow lights reflecting off of puddles.

Kairi moved through this realm as if she were floating. There was no sense of time or space, just moving over the pavement without any contact with it. A sign she didn’t belong in this place, perhaps, that to the people she passed she was simply a fiction, a ghost. When she tried to touch things, her hands moved right through them, and when she tried to speak, no one was able to hear her.

The experience made shivers run down her spine. She missed having a body that could interact with the world around her, that could touch and taste and test, feel and sense and caress. She really was beginning to wonder if she was a ghost. Of course, if the people in this realm tried to come to hers, they would probably seem like the ghosts. She sensed some great barrier that was nearly impossible to pass, though Riku had succeeded and Sora had been brought here unwillingly.

Or was it willingly? He had willingly given his life for hers, so it felt strange to speak of him coming here against his will. And yet she couldn’t help but think such thoughts. She knew Sora didn’t want to be apart from her any more than she wanted to be apart from him.

Her wanderings eventually led her to a coffee shop situated in a four-story building with the number four in the address. It had space on all four floors, too. Four, four, four. Everything here reminded her of the unlucky number that sounded like death.

The first floor was where people ordered their coffee from the hard-working baristas, the second and third floors were where they could drink the coffee, either alone or with friends on various tables and couches, and the fourth floor was a rooftop area with a few more seats and a view of the nearby scenery.

She almost didn’t notice him at first. He was seated at one of the tables, an untouched cup of coffee steaming in front of him as he stared into the horizon. His hair looked different, lighter and much less spiky than before, and his back was turned to her and his clothes were more muted, more like what normal people wore. But then he stiffened and glanced back, and his searing blue eyes gave him away.

“Kairi?” he murmured, looking right at her as if he could see her. Gosh, he was more handsome than ever, and he looked older and wiser and world-weary but still with that spark of Sora compassion in his eyes.

Well, she supposed it had been a year. She’d changed and so had he.

So had he. Relief flooded her at the thought. Dead people couldn’t change and grow. Only the living could.

She tried responding, but of course he couldn’t hear her. She was a ghost in this realm. But then how had he sensed her presence? Perhaps it was that gift of his for seeing hearts wherever he went.

His expression softened. “You can’t speak here, can you?” he gently said. “I can’t speak when I visit you in your dreams, so I guess it makes sense the reverse is true too.”

He had visited her in her dreams since that time she’d confronted Xehanort? If only she could remember.

He patted the chair next to him. “Have a seat.”

She floated over and “sat” down as best she could, but of course all she could manage was sort of hovering over the chair. But it wasn’t uncomfortable, and if she really tried she could imagine she and Sora were grabbing a cup of coffee together like they’d done so many times at the cafe on the beach back home.

“There’s so much I want to tell you,” Sora said, his face serious in a very un-Sora like way, like this place dragged his spirit down despite his best efforts. “Even with all the time we got together before we were separated, it still wasn’t enough.”

She agreed. It didn’t matter how much time you got to spend with your loved one before you lost them. The loss still ached like a deep wound that would never fully heal because that person was never meant to be torn from your side like that. She’d often thought to herself, if only I could speak to Sora again. If only I could have just a few more minutes with him. But even if she’d gotten her wish, it would be like sticking a bandaid on a gaping, gushing wound. Because the time would still end, the conversation would be over, and it still wouldn’t be enough. She’d still long to see him again after that.

No, the only true remedy for grief was an eternal reunion. A promise that she’d get to be with him forever. No more separations and sadness, no more sorrow and pain, no more tears and tearing apart of their shared heart.

She hoped the afterlife would be kinder than this life was.

Sora frowned. “I can tell you’re sad. I’m sorry I haven’t found a way back home yet. I’m trying, trust me.” He ran a hand through his hair and sighed. “It’s just a lot more difficult than I’d like.”

She scoffed. He was apologizing to her? It should be the other way around. She would say as much if she had a voice in this world.

Whatever expression was visible on her face seemed to upset him. “Kairi, I know we kinda avoided certain topics before I…you know. I didn’t want you to be sad. But I’m worried about how you’re handling all this.”

She carefully avoided his gaze. Not well. But was there a “good” way to handle grief? It was like her mother had said. There was no “right” way to grieve. Just whatever helped you get through the next hour, the next minute, the next second. Grief was like an unwelcome, unwanted acquaintance she couldn’t get rid of. The best she could do was learn to deal with its constant presence. She’d lost her birth parents and grandmother ages ago, so it wasn’t like she hadn’t dealt with grief before. But every grief is unique, and the grief of Sora’s loss still felt so raw and fresh and wrong.

“You don’t blame yourself for my death, do you?” Sora asked, his voice pained and his eyes anguished as he cut through her thoughts.

She would’ve been silent even if she could’ve spoken to him. He knew her all too well.

His face went pale. “You do,” he said, barely above a whisper. “Kairi, it wasn’t your fault.”

Yes it was. If she hadn’t been so weak, she wouldn’t have gotten kidnapped, and if she hadn’t gotten kidnapped, she wouldn’t have been struck down, and if she hadn’t been struck down, then Sora wouldn’t have had to abuse the Power of Waking to save her.

Honestly, he should’ve just let her be lost forever. She would’ve preferred that to this.

“You don’t believe me,” he said, his voice breaking. He reached for her hand, but of course his hand went right through hers. Frustration and pain flickered across his face, like he couldn’t bear this physical separation any more than she could.

“If you have to blame anyone, blame me,” he said. “I was the one who was reckless with my own life. But I wasn’t reckless for the sake of being reckless. There was just something so much more important at stake.”

Tears blurred her eyes. She wouldn’t be able to shed them or express them here, but they were there all the same.

“I couldn’t abandon you,” Sora said, his eyes filled with tears. “I couldn’t leave you trapped in Xehanort’s grasp forever. Don’t you see? I had no choice but to rescue you. I wouldn’t be myself if I left you to your fate just like you wouldn’t be yourself if you’d let me die at the Keyblade Graveyard. It’s true that we could’ve made other choices, but we never would. That’s what…that’s what love is, Kairi. Always wanting the best for the other person to the point it compels you to act.”

Sora was right. She would never let him die. Except that she had. And she knew how he felt about her. She just felt utterly and completely unworthy of his love because of her failure.

And yet…if she told him that, how would it make him feel? Like she was spitting in his face and saying his sacrifice wasn’t worth it? That he wasn’t worth it? She could never. She struggled to like herself, but Sora she loved with all her heart. Maybe…maybe if he really did see something in her worth loving, then there was something about her worth loving.

“I wish I could hear your voice,” he said sadly. “Your laughter. I really miss your laughter. Your smile, too.”

It struck her that he hadn’t smiled this entire time either. She missed his smile so much.

“I know now’s not really the time for smiles, but maybe…when we meet again…”

She nodded. She didn’t feel like smiling now, but if she could be reunited with Sora in the flesh, she might feel differently.

“I think you’re gonna wake up soon,” he said. “You’re flickering. But this won’t be the end, I swear. We’ll meet again. Either I’ll find a way home or you’ll find a way to me, I just know it.”

She nodded a little more confidently this time. The future was so uncertain, but this strange dream had given her fresh hope.

“Until then,” he said, then leaned close and gently kissed her cheek.

Kairi’s eyes fluttered open. A quick glance out the window told her it was still dark outside, and the flames in her little room’s fireplace had been reduced to glowing embers. She was cold, and yet her cheek felt so warm.

She touched it. Faint memories of Sora flickered through her mind, but they were already slipping out of her grasp. She grabbed the little diary next to her bed and jotted down as many things as she could remember. But it wasn’t much. Just a big city, his blue eyes, a steaming cup of coffee, and a soft, gentle kiss on her cheek.

Well, and one more thing. In her diary she added: I don’t remember the exact words, but I have this deep, lingering sense of peace. Like he loves me and promised we’d meet again. Maybe it’s just my own foolish imagination, but if it helps me feel better, I think it’s okay.

With that she closed the little book and rolled over onto her side, pulling the blanket closer for warmth as she took a few more minutes to rest before getting up. She wished she could remember more details from the dream, but the fact she’d dreamed about him at all brought her great comfort.

Maybe…maybe we will succeed. Maybe I will get to see him again. I just need to be patient and make the most of my life right now.

She was tired of just existing. She wanted to live again. Wanted to enjoy all the little things and appreciate the people in her life right now. And even if she got Sora back and they got their happily ever after, one of them would still outlive the other. There was a phrase that got omitted from modern fairy tales, “until their deaths.” “They lived happily until their deaths” was how the stories always used to end, but at some point someone had decided the “until their deaths” part was too sad to include, so everyone removed it from the ends of stories and replaced it with “ever after” as if that would remove death from reality.

Kairi was beginning to think this was a grave mistake. Pretending death didn’t exist wouldn’t help kids deal with it better. And death was no respecter of persons. It came for the young as well as the old, the healthy as well as the sick, the strong as well as the weak. Might as well help people prepare for that and make the most of the time they have in this life and the most of the time they have with their loved ones.

Sora, if we do get a second chance to be together, I promise I’ll never take a single moment with you for granted again. And I’ll do everything in my power to help you come home.

Satisfied with her promises to him, she got out of bed. Enough waiting and wondering. It was time to act.

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A/N: Thank you for reading! I wanted to explore Kairi's survivor's guilt and grief in more depth, including the different facets and expressions of it. I wanted her to get to be angry and frustrated and sad and hurt, and it was cathartic to write.

I always thought it was interesting how death in the KH universe is defined as the soul (tamashii) and body (nikutai) being separated. Your heart (kokoro) and your body can be separated and you'll continue to exist (granted as a Heartless + Nobody), but if your soul and your body get split up, you'll die for real. (This is all delineated in Secret Ansem's Report #4). So I tried to incorporate that bit of KH lore into the story.

As always I enjoy delving into fairy tale stuff and researching the ways different languages handle the start and end of stories (English of course has the classic "Once upon a time…they all lived happily ever after" formula, but there are other variants like the "they lived happily until their deaths" one).

And then what would one of my KH stories be without an exploration of free will, the nature of existence, and various metaphysical ponderings? That stuff just always slips into my KH fics these days.

Happy SoKai Day!

[dreamychuu]

I haven't uttered a single word yet

warning : angst , no comfort.

Info : love at the first sight, reader is not originally born in japan!

-

Tsukasa doesn't understand the concept of love, but he always curious about it, how does it feel? is it exciting? is it heartwarming? He want to know!

until one day when he was walking down in the school hall, he accidentally hit by one of his friends, who was none other than Sora.

but instead of eyeing Sora who had run into him , his eyes were stuck towards someone standing behind Sora.

the person's eyes were the color of [eye color] and tsukasa was mesmerized as their eyes are gazing into each other's.

but as soon Tsukasa was about to speak sora pulled him up.

when Tsukasa had returned to his normal position and self, Sora apologized to him, and ran while pulling you away from Tsukasa.

Tsukasa still remain silent touched his chest, what was that just now?

why is his heart beating so fast? why is he blushing? why does he feel like he wants to smile ? why is he feeling so happy? And especially who are you actually?

after a few days curiosity still linger in him, and he decided to ask his unitmate.

everyone is a bit surprised because of tsukasa confession.

"You fell in love at first sight Tsukasa-chan!" Arashi said enthusiastically.

Tsukasa was shocked, is it true? so falling in love at the first sight is real !!??

and after that conversation for some reason lately he always accidentally crosses paths with you.

starting from you seen wandering around with Sora , you carrying different coloured document papers, or yoy carrying some items from your locker..? it's a bit strange for the last one but it just what happened.

even though there has been no progress for the relationship between you & him and not a single word has come out of your mouths when you two met, tsukasa's feelings are still there instead they start to developed more slowly.

when he see your kind nature to everyone he cant help but wanted to be treated the same like everyone.

Youre too perfect and shining in his eyes.

he was still a bit too shy but in the end izumi forced him to talk to you tomorrow! , Izumi is honestly a little annoyed that beacuse of you, Tsukasa, have become lovesick and less focused during practice.

but the next day he didn't met you at all, even your locker looked untouched? During the break he approached Sora and asked him.

"You know your friend who followed behind you when you accidentally crash into me that time?"

"Of course sora know! They're sora friend! [name]!" Sora replied

Tsukasa who had a doubtful face before, turned into a smile.

"Then do you know where they are right now? I want to talk to them ! maybe we can be friends!" Tsukasa asked again more enthusiastically.

but Sora's face, which was smiling before, became gloomy, making Tsukasa left confused.

"It's a shame [name] has moved... Sora's sad huhu, but what else can sora do, [name] miss their hometown and wanted to move their, you know," replied Sora in a sad tone

Tsukasa now understands all the strange things that happen when he crosses paths with you.

you who carry a lot of documents must have documents about you moving and with you draining your locker because you want to tidy up things in your locker.

he needed fresh air to process everything that happened, but before he do he thanked and said goodbye to sora.

"It turns out that not all first loves end with a happy ending"

[butter--peanut]

“Add a Person”(E, 3713 words)

Happy Happy 30th to my lovely Nisi @wind-becomes-lightning! I am so thankful to have met you ~9 months ago (wow, somehow it feels much longer!). You are one of the kindest and most supportive people I know — and I think even if people don’t know you personally, everyone can see that today so clearly, when you decided to spend your birthday gifting others with gorgeous fics every single hour! Your productivity is remarkable, you are creative and an awesome writer and have OCs I’m in love with. You quickly became one of my closest friends and it’s been a joy to chat with you and nerd out with you and simp with you and at last to meet you!! I can’t wait to celebrate your birthday in person later today, but for now I hope you like this little gift to show how much you mean to me <3

Title: “Add a Person”

Pairings: Yamato/Sora, Kakashi/Sayuri, Yamato/Kakashi, and a little bit of Sayuri/Sora and Sora/Kakashi (I hope these last two are okay Nisi, I didn’t want to spoil the surprise to ask!!)

Rating: Explicit

Word Count: 3713

Nisi’s OCs included in this story are Sora and Sayuri (links to their character bios). This fic is a sequel to Nisi’s story Ivy. Ivy is a modern day AU where Sora is a sex worker who goes by the codename Ivy and Yamato hires her. I was super intrigued by a few details Nisi included in the original fic (Yamato having kissed before but not who he kissed; the ANBU tattoo that Yamato got “with friends as a symbol that connected with our time together”; the way that Sora mentioned Yamato could always add another person to the app) so I spun those details around into this story.

On Wednesday, after Yamato had woken up and watered his plants and stretched in front of the slowly rising sun, then finally sat down on his couch with a coffee and opened the app for the escort service, he clicked through to select Ivy as he normally did, and then saw the little button that said, add another person. 

He stared at it, and then he thought, why not.

Hey Senpai, Yamato texted Kakashi. Drink after work today? I have a proposition for you.

Yamato and Ivy had been seeing each other every Thursday for the past six months. 

Yamato booked three-hour meetings now, uncaring of the expense because it meant he had more time to talk to Ivy after they’d had sex. They would lie together, sometimes her in his arms and others his in hers, and he would chat about whatever came to mind: questions about sex that she happily answered, his day, his friends, his plans for the future. 

Oh, he wasn’t fooling himself. He knew that this wasn’t a relationship, and that all their interactions were transactions. But it was nice to pretend, for a few hours in a day, that he did have a girlfriend, and Ivy was happy to indulge him.

Amazingly, Ivy had started to open up a little more about her own personal life. Without going into too many details, she’d shared that she grew up in a well-respected family with a surname he’d probably heard of, in a large house in a prosperous suburb of inner Tokyo. That her job here was part-time, and that she was training for a different profession in her spare hours. That she liked her work for the most part. That the nicest part was helping other people to feel good.

On their last meeting, Ivy had been gently teasing Yamato about his lack of experience, and he had been smiling sheepishly, not at all bothered, agreeing, yes, you’re the only person I’ve had sex with. Yes, you’re the only person who has touched my cock. Yes, you’re the only person I’ve given head to.  

“Am I the only woman you kissed?” Ivy asked him finally, and here, now, he could counter this, grinning and raising up a hand. 

“Yes,” he said. “But not the first person I’ve kissed.”

Her eyes flared with interest, and then he found himself explaining his friendship with Kakashi.

They’d met in Black Ops when Yamato was a fresh-faced eighteen-year-old, and spent the next four years together, taking dangerous high-stakes missions across many different countries. (Of course, Yamato couldn’t tell Ivy the details; he left it at we were in the army together.) Yamato had been assigned to Team Seven, and he’d got to watch the flawless teamwork of Kakashi, Rin, and Obito, then wonders of wonders, contribute to that teamwork; feel like he was a truly appreciated part of their team. Kakashi had been his team leader, his Senpai, his guide, and at one notable point, the person who’d saved his life. 

“I had a crush on him,” Yamato admitted, flushing. “He’s incredible, Ivy. And I think he liked me too. But, well, he was in love with a different teammate. And then that teammate died.”

He sighed into the bedsheets, unhappy memories resurfacing.

“I’m sorry,” Ivy said gently, touching his shoulder.

“It’s okay,” Yamato reassured her. “It was a long time ago now. But — before all of that, there was a night we were all drunk at a bar together.” He smiled a little at the memory. “Eventually it was just me and Kakashi left, and we were talking about all of Senpai’s experience with sex — he had a bit of an, er, reputation — and I mentioned that I’d never kissed anyone before, and Senpai said, well, want to change that? And then we kissed. Nothing else. I wasn’t ready for anything else then, and he understood.”

“He sounds like a very kind person.”

Yamato snorted. 

“Well, yes. But he’s also a bastard. Especially now.”

“You still see him?”

“Every day,” he said, unable to stop the fond smile. “We work together now. The government got Rin, Kakashi and I all jobs.” He hesitated, then said, “They offered him a management role.” Coordinating the entire black ops contingent and strategy for deployment. “But he said no. Wanted a quiet life after everything that had happened. Now mostly I see him wasting company time playing with this pug he brings into the office or reading silly porn novels that he likes.”

Ivy looked considering. 

“And you’ve never thought of anything more with him? Anything more than kissing?”

He grinned at her. “Are you asking if I’d like to have a threesome with you and one of my friends, Ivy?” 

She blinked, surprised, then laughed softly. “No! I just know that you’re curious to try new things, Yamato. That’s one of the parts I really like about you. I want to support you with your exploration of yourself.”

Ah, Ivy was so supportive and sweet and eager to help him. That, he was sure, wasn’t just part of her professional act. Just one more reason he liked her so much.

“I wouldn’t want to see him without you,” Yamato said, certain, and Ivy’s gaze softened further as she looked over him. 

Then there was a spark of playfulness.

“Well. You know what I said on our first meeting. You can add a person in the app.”

---

Kakashi wasn’t hard to convince. He’d always had a very low threshold in agreeing to sex, and when Yamato phrased it as a way of self-exploration he said, “I’m all for my cute Kohai’s self-development. Let’s try it.” He took a sip of his beer, then added, “And I’ve never been to an escort service. I’m curious to see what it’s like.”

Despite knowing Kakashi’s general comfort with sex, Yamato really hadn’t expected it would be quite this easy to get him into bed. His eighteen-year-old self’s heart would have been beating clear out of his chest with the thrill.  

(Maybe that itself was why Kakashi agreed so readily: that Yamato’s heart wasn’t beating that way anymore. Kakashi must have known Yamato’s crush had lessened a lot since those initial days — and he knew how much Yamato talked about his friend Ivy).

The morning of, Ivy texted him. She had his direct number, now, because it was so much easier to coordinate unexpected delays or cancellations than on the app. (He was sure that was why she had given him her number. The extra conversation that they engaged in was just a lovely side-effect.)

I have a proposition for you :) Ivy wrote. My friend started working here a few weeks ago. She needs experience with larger group bookings. And I thought, since you are inviting your friend, maybe I could invite mine? From what you said, your friend could be open to this? And you are by far my nicest client. It would be the best introduction for her. No extra charge. :D

Her nicest client!

But Yamato had a reputation for being nice. Many people had called him nice. This surely didn’t mean anything.

Of course, he texted back. As long as Ivy was there too, this sounded like an exciting experience.

The next evening, Yamato went to the regular love hotel that he and Ivy visited. He arrived right on time, even though he assumed Kakashi would be at least half an hour late, because it gave him the opportunity to shower with Ivy, pressing her up against the glass, peppering the vine-patterns on her skin with kisses. Foreplay only; getting ready for the main course.

When they were showered and cuddling up together on the bed, each wearing half-opened fluffy red robes, Ivy said, “I know you said your friend would be late, but it’s strange that mine hasn’t arrived yet.”

Then the door slammed open, and a woman with a long black coat, heeled boots and black hair in a ponytail pointed behind her and said, “Sora, please tell me this stalker isn’t the client for tonight!”

“Er.” Kakashi walked through and waved. “Yo, Tenzo. There seems to have been some confusion.”

Oh, no. Kakashi was going to be the end of him.

Wait. The woman had called Ivy—

“Sora?” Yamato said, turning to Ivy, and Ivy was looking at the woman with the same incredulous exhaustion that Tenzo currently felt for Kakashi.

---

Yamato suggested tea, because that tended to calm tensions. They had tea, and Yamato heard the story.

On the way to the love hotel, Kakashi had walked out of the subway station, head firmly in his book — he’d purchased a new volume of Icha Icha just that morning, and wouldn’t rest until he’d finished it.

It was snowing today, and he had been walking up to the block of the hotel when he drifted to the edge of the street, aiming to avoid a new thick clump of snow piling up the street.

Then a taxi’s door was thrust open, and Kakashi tripped clean over the door, face-planting into the snow below.

“Senpai!” Tenzo said now, laughing. “What happened to your reflexes?”

“I’d reached a really good part,” Kakashi explained with a sigh.

A woman had stepped out of the taxi, and Kakashi had put out a hand and started to say, “Don’t worry about it,” expecting that she was about to apologise profusely.

“Why don’t you look where you’re going!” she said instead.

“Um.” Kakashi stared at her. “I was reading…”

Oh no. Where was Icha Icha Spa Day? It had dropped out of his hands when he fell.

The patch where it had fallen was outside of the was dark. He could barely see a thing.

He dropped down onto his knees, tapping the piled snow.

“Oh, come on,” said the woman. “Don’t tell me you’re going to pretend you were injured from that. I don’t have any money and I’m definitely not compensating you for a non-existent injury—” 

“It’s my Icha Icha.” 

“Your what? That doesn’t sound like any body part I’ve heard of.” 

“No, not my — my book. I’ve lost my book.”

The woman sighed in annoyance, then dropped down next to him, letting the bottom of her black coat drip into the slushy snow. 

“Urgh,” she said, starting to push her bare fingers through the snow. “Make me feel bad by stepping in front of my door and then freeze my fingers off, why don’t you.”

“You don’t have to help me.”

“Oh, no, you’ve guilt tripped me now; clearly I do. Though maybe this is all just some sick ploy to give a poor random passer-by hypothermia — oh, hey!” Her voice rose in triumph, and she pulled up the snow-covered, sodden Icha Icha Spa Day from the ground. “Here you are. Your,” she stared at the cover, “your porn…”

She handed him the book.

“What’s your name?” Kakashi asked.

She stared at him suspiciously. “Sayuri. Why?”

“Sayuri,” Kakashi said, “thank you for finding my book. And,” he gave her a hurt puppy look, “thank you for also ruining it.”

Then he hopped up and made his way back through the streets, opening up the book, wincing at how damp it was. He could barely read the text anymore. He’d have to purchase another copy tomorrow.

He realised Sayuri was following him.

“What?” she said defensively, when he turned back to her. 

“Are you looking for another way to trip me up?”

“Oh, come on! I was going this way already.”

As if to prove it, she hurried passed him, and then Kakashi was following her. Passing sniping comments back and forth as they continued to walk in the same direction.

All the way to the love hotel, and then to the same floor, and then to the same room.

---

Kakashi and Sayuri hadn’t stopped bickering the entire time. Yamato had rarely seen someone who affected him as much as she did. The only person Yamato had seen Kakashi share these snipes back and forth with was, well, Obito.

It was the strangest experience Yamato had ever had. They’d set out to have something like a foursome and now the two extra guests were just insulting each-other. Looking at Ivy — should he think of her as Sora in his head now? She’d admitted that was her name, but it hadn’t been something she offered him, so it felt wrong — she seemed to feel the same. 

Feeling a bit helpless, Yamato said, “Well, maybe we should we just end this idea—” 

“No,” said Kakashi and Sayuri, almost at the same time.

A pause.

“He’s apparently such a Casanova,” Sayuri said defensively. “I want to see if that’s all talk.”

---

Kakashi and Sayuri needed to shower, and while they did that Yamato and Ivy sat cuddling on the bed.

“Kakashi called you Tenzo,” Sora said “Is that..?”

“That was my name,” he explained. “But not anymore. I changed it when I left the army. But people who knew me back then, I’m fine if they call me Tenzo. It’s a memories thing.” He smiled at her, drawing closer. “Yamato is my name now.” He paused. “But your name is Sora? Would your prefer I keep—” 

“You can call me Sora,” she said, decided. “I’ve wanted to tell you for a while. It was just — not professional.” She sighed. “Maybe I should thank Sayuri for giving up her name and mine and breaking about ten rules in half an hour.” 

A flicker of excited desire drifted through him at the words. Her name — her real name! — on his lips. Sora could see that in his gaze and her expression turned playful. She pulled him back onto the bed and fully on top of her, her robe opening so that Yamato’s naked body was flush against hers, just their robes flaring out on either side. They kissed, familiar and comforting, and Sora started to run her hand down Yamato’s chest.

“Do you think they’ll kill each-other arguing about who takes the first shower?” Sora asked softly. 

“I would say no, but who knows. Kakashi is normally very laid back. But he was acting differently around her than I’m used to…” 

There was a crash and a thump in the bathroom.

Yamato groaned and jumped up. “We leave them alone for one minute…” 

He strode to the bathroom. “Senpai! What are you—?” 

He had to trail off, when standing in the doorway looking through at what was inside.

The crash had been from the metal soap holder, previously hooked over the edge of the shower, now on its side on the floor outside the shower, all the soaps and creams also scattered there. The shower door was fully open, and mist unfurled through the door, water spray hitting the floor and bathmat beyond. Inside were Kakashi and Sayuri. Kakashi had Sayuri pressed against the shower wall, kissing her neck, one arm wrapped around her waist and the other pressing against the tiles behind her head. Her eyes were shut tight in an almost-angry desperation, and her fingers scrunched his wet hair tightly.

Yamato started to blush. He knew that watching the interactions of another couple was part of what he’d signed up for, but somehow being here, watching their intimacy firsthand, affected him even more than he’d expected.

“How are you feeling on the Casanova scale?” Kakashi asked Sayuri playfully.

“U-unfair experimental conditions,” said Sayuri. “It’s a shower. It’s naturally a sexual place!”

Kakashi looked up and stared at Yamato, and it was the sort of gaze that made his hair stand on end. Yamato now knew something of how Sayuri must be feeling. “Tenzo. Want to join?” 

“It’s not really big enough, Senpai,” Yamato said, stepping forward despite himself.

“Fair enough.” Kakashi kissed Sayuri’s lips, then said, “Shall we go and say hello to the others?” 

Sayuri turned the taps off, and now without the water raining down it was clear to see the flush of arousal on her face, eyes twisting from Kakashi to take in Sora and Yamato with a smile.

---

The kiss reminded Yamato of the last time, except that now Kakashi was entirely naked, body dripping from the shower, flush against Yamato, letting him feel all the muscles and — yes, his cock, jutting against Yamato’s own.

Perhaps a touch different, then.

He groaned helplessly, twitching closer to try and bring his body even further against Kakashi’s. Kakashi made a deep, satisfied sound on hearing him, sliding a hand down to cup Yamato’s ass. 

Yamato felt a body press behind him now, and he could tell immediately from the line of her curves that it was Sora. She leaned against his back and said, “Time to make you a sandwich,” and it was the cutest way of describing this ridiculously hot action that he couldn’t help his giggle.

“How about a burger double?” Sayuri responded, copying Sora’s lead but against Kakashi. “You two boys are the meat, and the two bun halves kiss?”

Kakashi snorted against Yamato’s lips. “That’s the least sexual analogy I’ve ever—” 

“Quiet,” said Sayuri. “Watch.”

She leaned forward past Kakashi, and Sora twisted past Yamato, and their lips met one another. They were both grinning while they kissed, Sayuri giggling a little. Yamato wondered if this was the first time these friends had done this together.

“You feel so soft,” Sayuri commented halfway through. “No stubble is heaven. I need to kiss more girls.”

“Is this like Icha Icha, Senpai?” Yamato asked.

“It might be better,” Kakashi admitted.

Sora and Sayuri broke the kiss, and then Sora turned to them. “Could you share him a little?” she asked Kakashi.

“Of course.” Kakashi shifted around the side of Yamato so that Kakashi’s chest was flush against Yamato’s back. “What did you have in mind?”

---

Kakashi ran his hands down Yamato’s chest, tweaking and twisting his nipples and following the line of his hips, while Sora rested comfortably on her knees, head tilted forward, tasting Yamato. She knew him so well by this point; understood exactly how to shift the pressure to make him moan, use the lightest touch of her hand like a skilled painter. Kakashi watched Sora’s approach and matched her speed and pressure with his fingers across Yamato’s body. Feeling both of them at once was a heady rush that made the blood pump through his veins and even quicker down his body. 

Sayuri was watching at first, but soon she slid behind Kakashi and grasped Kakashi’s cock, gently stroking it. Yamato could feel Kakashi’s breathing increase, his body stiffening, and the groan he let out, loud against Yamato’s ear.

It was too much, feeling his own arousal and Kakashi’s arousal and Sora’s care.

“I’m going to…”

Sora nodded, smiling up at him, and she was so beautiful, he loved everything about her, he couldn’t believe how lucky he was to have met her—

He came, gasping, with Kakashi hugging him tight from behind and Sora swallowing him down.

---

“Thank you for taking care of my kohai,” Kakashi said to Sora, when Yamato had taken some moments to recover and Sora and come up to standing. “May I taste him from you?”

Oh, boy.

---

The kiss between Sora and Kakashi was almost chaste, slow and polite and explorative, and yet still, somehow…

“This is like the hottest thing I’ve ever seen.”

It was Sayuri, standing next to Yamato, eyes locked on Kakashi and Sora.

“I know what you mean,” Yamato admitted. “When you like both of them, and then see them together…”

She furrowed her brow. “I don’t like — urgh. Okay. Maybe I do.” She sighed. “Sora should have never offered me this job. I’m terrible at staying professional.”

“Honestly?” Yamato said. “I’m glad it turned out this way. Thank you.”

She smiled at him, and then said, “You’re all she talks about, you know. I might be unprofessional on the job, but damn, she wants to be too.”

Kakashi and Sora had paused their and were now watching Yamato and Sayuri, both with clear desire in their eyes.

“Let’s take this to the bedroom?” Sora suggested.

---

At one point Sora’s phone alarm rang to end the session. 

Sora stepped to her phone, clicked off the alarm, and then put her phone in the drawer. She turned back, meeting their gazes in challenge, making no move to pick up her clothes, and Yamato felt the strongest wash of joy and excitement at the knowledge that this wasn’t going to end any time soon.

Given that Kakashi was pressed deep inside him, sweat slicked, shuddering with the force of holding back from spilling over, it would have been an awkward moment to stop in any case.

---

Yamato woke up with Sora in his arms, warm and peaceful, his body aching pleasurably.

Kakashi and Sayuri were asleep next to them. Kakashi was lying on his back and Sayuri was on her side, head was in his lap, hair streaming out across his chest, long-ago pulled out of its ponytail. Kakashi was awake. His eyes were half-lidded, watching Sayuri, expression imperceptible.

“Kakashi,” Yamato whispered, and Kakashi turned his gaze to Yamato. 

“Morning, Tenzo,” he said with a small smile. “I have to say, if this is how evenings at escort services normally proceed, I’ll be booking them more often.”

Yamato snorted. He looked down at Sora, still feeling awestruck that he could use her real name now, and brushed some hair out of her face. Her nose scrunched up adorably.

“You won’t get this at any other escort service, Senpai. This was an, er, unique experience. Even for me with Sora.”

Learning her name. Meeting her friend, and Yamato’s friend meeting her. Going past the allotted time, all through the night in fact. Waking up in each-others’ arms.

This was messy, now, the line between professional and — whatever else they were, or could be.

But this too would be a new experience, and after so many years fighting pointless wars, Yamato wanted to take everything good that life had to offer. He’d be honest with her when they had a moment alone, tell her how he felt about her. And then see just what the future would bring. 

[yslkook]

WRONG (3)

mind of mine masterlist

summary: you find yourself at the tattoo parlor more often as of late. also, jungkook hates lemon jelly filled donuts and is easily bribed by mint chocolate and macarons. pairing: “badboy” jk x “shy/reserved�� oc warnings: cursing, excessive use of pet names, kinda toxic friendship

Sora’s unbridled passion for why she believes Jungkook is wrong for you has never irritated you as much as it does in this moment. You’ll never understand why she’s so adamant about the topic, when it’s not her decision. When she knows that you’ve been harboring a small crush on the man for years now, and you’re fairly certain he returns your affections.

When the man told you that he had put an orange heart next to your name, you knew it was real.

You don’t understand why Sora is determined to make things so complicated, when they don’t have to be. You don’t believe her claims that he’s a fuckboy, that he treats people like trash. He’s shown you the opposite. He’s so gentle with everyone, not just you. He’s blunt but he has a big heart under all of the leather and layers of black.

If there’s a word to describe him, it’s dreamy.

Which is why you’re so hurt that Sora refuses to give him a chance. After all, if she was your best friend, shouldn’t she offer him a chance for your sake?

It confuses you.

“I’ve heard so many bad things about him,” Sora says knowingly, swirling her glass of wine in her hands. You don’t feel very much like drinking, not when your stomach swirls in unease. Being in her apartment is nothing new, but right now, you’d rather be anywhere else.

“But what things? And from who? Jungkook is such a genuine guy and he hasn’t done anything for people to start rumors about him,” You protest, but your words fall on deaf ears, “And I like him-”

“I mean come on, have you seen him? The man radiates bad vibes. My friends have all said-”

“Bad vibes? You’re dismissing him because of bad vibes when I’m telling you that-”

“I’m your best friend, don’t you think I know these things?” Sora says, heat and arrogance in her voice, “I’m only looking out for you. It’s shitty that you’re dismissing me for a guy-”

“I’m not dismissing you-” But your voice grows smaller and smaller, something that you think Jungkook might be disappointed in you for.

“It sure as hell sounds like you are,” Sora sneers with a cold sort of tilt to her lips, “Listen. I’m just looking out for you, even if you don’t seem to appreciate it. I thought we were best friends. Friends look out for each other, but if you don’t want to listen to me, that’s on you.”

Something dry settles in your throat and something heavy settles in your chest.

“He’s not good news,” Sora continues, as if she can’t see your heart beginning to ache, “I’ll find someone who will treat you much better, don’t worry.” She pats your knee in a way that is supposed to be reassuring but you wince.

You don’t want her favors, but it’s too late for you to protest. Besides if you did, she’d feel awful and you never want to be the cause of her being upset. She’s your best friend after all. And what kind of friend would you be, if you upset her to that degree?

But still... you don’t want anyone else. You want the sensitive man who gets misty-eyed by powerful renditions of Beyonce songs, the man who texts you until you fall asleep, the man who asks you what color to paint his nails when he feels like it.

You kind of want the sensitive man dressed in layers of black.

You let Sora talk your ear off about all of the guys she has in mind for you, but you stop listening. You don’t understand this vendetta she has against Jungkook, the vendetta that she’s always had. But she is correct about one thing- she is your best friend and has your best interests at heart...right?

The four walls of the tattoo parlor that you’ve begun frequenting more and more often begins to feel more and more like a welcome place in recent days. You’ve always been friendly with the guys, especially Yoongi and Hoseok.

Even if Yoongi doesn’t work at the parlor, he’s here frequently enough.

Though Yoongi and Hoseok are some of your oldest friends, you’ve only come to the parlor a handful of times in the past. Once that realization hit you, you’d made it a point to stop by more often.

Why hadn’t you before?

They’re your oldest friends, but these days, you feel closer to Mina and Mei as well. While you do have other girlfriends who you see as often as your collective schedules align, it’s still different.

But still. You don’t know if you’ve ever truly belonged with anyone. You feel as if you’ve been floating through life, with Sora by your side (at least half the time, when she’s not spewing criticism over the man you have feelings for).

Thinking about it gives you a headache and makes you feel nostalgic for something that you never had. But maybe it’s something you can have.

“Hey, you,” Mei calls from reception, where she’s sitting next to Hobi who waves at you, “What brings you here? Finally gonna let me pierce you?”

“I brought donuts,” You shrug, “And I’m not ready for that surgical instrument to touch me, thanks very much.”

“You can stop by without the pretense of bringing sweet treats over,” Hobi says knowingly, “I mean none of us will complain about donuts, but you know that right? You can come by anytime you want.”

“O-okay,” You nod, your throat feeling a little dry.

“Now, come here and let me see what you got. If there’s a lemon jelly filled donut, save that for Jungkook. He hates them.”

“You got plans this evening?” Mei asks, grabbing her bright red purse that’s nearly the size of your head. Her purse matches her bright red nails and for half a second, you’re mesmerized by the glossiness of her nails.

“No, other than getting ready for tomorrow’s day of work-”

“Great! Wanna come with me to the tattoo supply store? I have to pick up more needles, grips and gloves.”

“Sure,” You shrug, a little excited at the prospect of a quick adventure for Mei, “I’ll just say bye to Hobi.”

He’s already watching you with mirth in his eyes, as if he knows what you’re about to say. “Hey, will you tell Jungkook I said hi?” You murmur, feeling your ears burning at his smug grin.

“Sure, I will,” Hobi grins, “I’m sure he feels bad about not being able to say hi to you himself. He’s had a busy day.”

“Understandable,” You nod, “I mean, you guys say he’s the best in the city, right? I’m sure he’s got a waitlist of people who want to be tatted by him.”

“Maybe someday he’ll tattoo you, huh?” He says mischievously to which you roll your eyes and feel your face heat up.

“He would be so lucky,” You scoff, as if the notion of Jungkook tattooing your body doesn’t make something flutter in your belly.

“We have this competition at the parlor where the person who makes the most tips has to buy the supplies on a monthly basis,” Mei says smugly, “Usually, it’s Kook but for the last few months it’s been me.”

That doesn’t surprise you in the least- Hobi has told you that Mei and Mina are both skilled in realistic and watercolor tattoos, as well as piercings. You think if you were ever to receive a tattoo from either Mei or Mina, you would tip them for the mere fact of them being so close in your presence for so long.

They used to intimidate you, when Hobi had first introduced you to them. Mina with her sleek bob haircut, and Mei with her long, glossy waves. Both of them had nose piercings and their ears were dotted in different hoops and rods. You’d only caught a glimpse of their tattoos a handful of times- Mei has a full sleeve on her right arm where Mina’s tattoos seem to be more hidden.

They’re just so cool and funny and smart.

“How did you all get the idea for the tattoo parlor? Like, was it a business decision or were you all friends before?” You ask curiously.

“Well… Jin, Mina and I have been friends since we were kids, our parents are really close. Jin had this dream of opening his own tattoo and piercing parlor for the longest time. Jungkook and Hobi joined a few months after we officially opened. It took a while, but we’re where we are now,” Mei says fondly.

“That’s incredible! You guys started from the ground up,” You say, in awe, “That parlor is your baby.”

“Fuck, yeah it is,” Mei grins, “What about you? What cool tech stuff is going on in that pretty brain of yours?”

“Um…” Your face heats up at the compliment, “I’m currently helping in developing this app for one of our clients, it’s specific for tracking and trending information related to chronic health conditions. It’s still in its infancy, but it’s been fun! And it’s job security, I guess.”

Mei lets out a low whistle, “Wow, you’re doing something like that by yourself?”

“No, I have a pretty great team,” You shrug, “Something like that definitely can’t be done alone.”

Mei hums, “You’re gonna be great, Ms. CEO.”

“Yeah right, I’d never want that burden,” You scoff, “I’m good right where I am.”

With both of your arms full of bags of supplies for the tattoo parlor (and some extras), you both walk out of the shop and towards Mei’s sleek, black car. It’s late, and you don’t really feel much like taking public transportation. But you’re nervous to ask Mei for a ride home for some reason.

“Hey, did you drive to the parlor?” Mei asks.

“N-no, I don’t have a car yet,” You reply, “I only just bought my condo and didn’t want to make another big purchase just yet. I want to start looking though…”

“Oh! I’ll drive you home then,” Mei offers once she starts the engine.

“Are you sure? It’s kind of out of the way from here,” You reply, folding in on yourself a little in the passenger seat.

Mei only waves you off. “Oh, please. What kind of friend would I be if I just left you to get home alone?”

You bite your tongue, as vivid memories of Sora claiming that she didn’t have enough gas in the tank or her asking for gas money for the ten minute drive from her apartment building to your condo flash in your mind.

“Thank you, Mei,” You say gratefully, “Let me know how much to Venmo you, for gas money-”

“Gas money? For a seven minute drive? Is that a joke,” Mei gasps, “What do you take me for?”

“Okay, okay, I’m sorry I asked!”

“Asking me for gas money,” Mei mutters, “You said you want to start looking for a car?”

Her smile twists into something mischievous.

“Yeah, I have no idea where to start though…”

“Ask your boy, Jungkook. Taehyung, Namjoon and Jimin work at a car dealership and they’re his roommates, I’m sure he’d be eager to help you.” Something in her voice is coy but you maintain a neutral face.

“Yeah… maybe I will,” You say thoughtfully, “Hey! He’s not my boy-”

“Alright, alright,” Mei relents gently, “But really, reach out to him. He’ll help you. So that those boys don’t scam you like the sleazy car salesmen that they are.”

When you see Jungkook next at the tattoo parlor which is conveniently on your way home from work (again with a box of pastries), you muster the courage to step into his office to ask him for help.

“Hi,” You say weakly, “Umm… I come bearing gifts. Got some of those mint chocolate brownie bars that you like, and those macarons-”

“If I didn’t know any better, I’d think you were trying to bribe me, baby,” Jungkook says, smirking widely when your lips part in protest.

“If I was trying to bribe you, it wouldn’t be with mint chocolate. Disgusting,” You roll your eyes and squeal out loud when he lunges for you, giving you a teasing but tight back hug.

“Take it back,” Jungkook murmurs lowly in your ear. You hardly hear him, too wrapped up in the warmth of the big black hoodie he’s wearing. The soft, gentle scent of laundry and vanilla floats into your nose when you turn your head to press your cheek against his chest.

His heartbeat is faint against your ear. You wonder if he can hear yours speeding up.

“Mint chocolate sucks. It’s a fact,” You mumble.

“You’re lucky you’re cute,” His voice comes as a low grumble from his chest and you swallow nervously. Before your nerves can get the best of you, he changes the topic. “Mei told me you’re in the market for a new car?”

“I don’t really know where to start, but I’ve already started doing some research,” You reply, pointing to your small backpack. You pull out a binder with meticulously colored tabs labeled in neat print that Jungkook raises an eyebrow at.

“What?”

“You just carry around a binder with your research on car purchases at all times? Is that what you do?”

“I have to be prepared!”

“Sometimes you just need a vibe check-”

“You want me to purchase an entire vehicle worth about a million and one paychecks based on just a vibe check? Is that what you did with your motorcycle?”

“Yeah,” Jungkook gives you a crooked smile, “And a little research. I guess.”

“You guess,” You mutter under your breath.

Jungkook has been more touchy with you once you had given him the go ahead all those weeks ago. He doesn’t show his affections with you unless you’re both alone, and it’s never anything more than hugs and the occasional brush of hands.

He’s melting you from the outside in, and you bask in his radiant heat. The thought of Sora’s approval doesn’t bother you, not when he hugs you like this.

But as always. Her disapproving voice worms its way into your head and you reluctantly peel away from him to sit on the faded burgundy couch with the box of macarons on your lap.

“So,” Jungkook says, immediately feeling the loss of your warmth in his limbs, “How can I help?”

tags: @kookdbean

MoM tags: @tiemeuptogoldenchains @boymeetsparadise @jungkooksseuphoria @kaepjjangiya @drumsofheaven @ppeachyttae @tae-bebe

[cherryatiny]

𝐀𝐭𝐞𝐞𝐳: 𝐒/𝐎 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐟𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐢𝐫 𝐟𝐞𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐦

𝑊𝑎𝑟𝑛𝑖𝑛𝑔𝑠: 𝑎𝑙𝑐𝑜ℎ𝑜𝑙 𝑐𝑜𝑛𝑠𝑢𝑚𝑝𝑡𝑖𝑜𝑛 (𝑤ℎ𝑖𝑐ℎ 𝑖'𝑚 𝑛𝑜𝑡 𝑐𝑜𝑛𝑑𝑜𝑛𝑖𝑛𝑔), 𝑖𝑡'𝑠 𝑚𝑜𝑠𝑡𝑙𝑦 𝑓𝑙𝑢𝑓𝑓, 𝑏𝑢𝑡 𝑠𝑜𝑚𝑒 𝑜𝑓 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑚 𝑎𝑟𝑒 𝑎 𝑙𝑖𝑡𝑡𝑙𝑒 𝑏��𝑡 𝑎𝑛𝑔𝑠𝑡𝑦

𝐺𝐼𝐹𝑠 𝑎𝑟𝑒 𝑛𝑜𝑡 𝑚𝑖𝑛𝑒, 𝑐𝑟𝑒𝑑𝑖𝑡 𝑔𝑜𝑒𝑠 𝑡𝑜 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑖𝑟 𝑟𝑒𝑠𝑝𝑒𝑐𝑡𝑖𝑣𝑒 𝑜𝑤𝑛𝑒𝑟𝑠

⩥ 𝐊𝐢𝐦 𝐇𝐨𝐧𝐠𝐣𝐨𝐨𝐧𝐠

„Y/N pass me the bottle.”

Said the stern voice of your best friend Hongjoong, you were at a bar, with your other friends, celebrating Hongjoong's career success.

He finally got the chance to join a musical company and fulfil his dream of becoming an artist and a song producer.

Seeing your best friend happy that his dreams came true made you sincerely happy of course, but a small part of you was kinda sad about that.

Hongjoong has been your crush since you two were kids and now, that he is going to become a well-known artist, he'll for sure find some hot idol-model girlfriend and your love will go in the drain.

Maybe it was the alcohol in your blood, maybe the pent up rage and courage that made you confess.

„I have a confession to make... I-i love you Kim Hongjoong.”

Everyone looked up at you in disbelief, it was until you felt your stomach tightening from embarrassment, urging you to vomit, running out of the room to a restroom to push it out, without knowing Hongjoong was following you.

As he saw you scrunched and hugging the toilet he came to you, to hold your hair from falling into your face.

„I may like you too, but that's something we'll talk about once you are sober."

⩥ 𝐏𝐚𝐫𝐤 𝐒𝐞𝐨𝐧𝐠𝐡𝐰𝐚

„Oh, come on, it would be fun, trust me.” Bullshit.

Going out with your best friend Seonghwa and his crush "to support him" was never a good idea.

Not only did you have to observe the cringiness of Seonghwa's love blind actions, but also see his crush treating him so poorly since she clearly did not have any interest in him.

As the movie ended and it was time for you to go home, you stood in front of the cinema with Seonghwa as he bid goodbye to the girl.

„Bye, be careful on your way home and have sweet dreams, I hope we could go out on another date soon.”

„Ah yeah, sure, bye."

You sighed softly, how could he not see the disinterest. As he turned to you, to thank you for helping him overcome this evening, your words stopped him before he could even start.

„Seonghwa, please stop hurting yourself by loving someone who's clearly not interested, when I've been showing you affection and interest for two years."

„What? Yo-you like me?”

As you realised what you've just said, earlobes and cheeks turning red from the embarrassment.

„I mean... kind of.”

⩥ 𝐉𝐞𝐨𝐧𝐠 𝐘𝐮𝐧𝐡𝐨

„Y/N, I'm waiting outside the house, come on, let's go.” said Yunho over a phonecall.

You were celebrating the end of the semester with your classmates, and since you've had some drinks in you and despite that, you didn't know how to drive, you had to call your friend and deep-down also crush Yunho either way.

Rushing out to finally see your crush, you were met with the breath-taking sight of Yunho leaning to his car, one hand scrolling through his phone, the second one chilling in his pockets.

„Yuyu, my love, you’re here.”

„Gosh, Y/N you’re so drunk, I’m glad you called me and didn’t try to go home on your own. I don’t want to imagine what could’ve happened.“

„But nothing happened since I called that handsome guy I love.“

Yunho shook his head at your drunk talk, were you talking about him? Not knowing the sincerity of your words, but in the depth of his soul, he hoped the words that came out of your mouth were true...

⩥ 𝐊𝐚𝐧𝐠 𝐘𝐞𝐨𝐬𝐚𝐧𝐠

„Happy Birthday dear Mr. Kang, happy birthday to you.“

Handclap noisier than the song of celebration for your boss, Kang Yeosang.

Although being a CEO, he was really warm-hearted and kind, not like the basic CEO type who’s cold and arrogant.

Being his secretary helped you to get to know him better over the years, but also made you grow feelings for him. You sometimes just zoned out and stared at his handsome face for hours, just like now.

„Y/N, can you please follow me to my office, I need to talk to you.“

You had no idea what Yeosang wanted to talk about, feeling only one emotion. Fear. Did he find out you like him? Did you do something wrong? Is he going to fire you? As he closed the door after you two, you couldn’t even look him in the eye, rather observing your high-heels.

„Y/N, what’s with you these days? You seem... different. Your mood’s been down lately, you’re impercipient. You know you can tell me anything, i want my most important employee to be happy.“

Employee. That’s all you were.

„I know you’re probably gonna get mad and I fully understand, feel free to fire me, but truth to be told, over the years I’ve been working for you, I grew feelings and I just can’t get over it... I-I love you, Mr. Kang.“

Yeosang’s face went pale, absorbing the words you’ve just said, mind going blank from the sudden confession.

„I don’t know what to say, Y/N. I mean... you’re a nice, young, hardworking girl, but.. I-I might need a few days to let it sink and think it over.“

⩥ 𝐂𝐡𝐨𝐢 𝐒𝐚𝐧

San's hips moved to the rhythm of the music, his hands on the waist of some random girl, their sensual dancing just irritating you.

It wasn't like you and San were dating or anything, but you still couldn't stand the thought of him being with anyone else. An annoyed groan coming out of your mouth as you picked your glass and took a shot to drink away those thoughts. San taking the girl by her hand and coming your way.

„Hey Y/N I just wanted to say goodbye, since I’m leaving with Sora to my place, if you need anything you can call, but I don’t think I’ll be able to pick up, since my hands will have other work to do, so rather try Seonghwa.“

„Yeah, I thought so, just don’t forget to wear a condom when you get your dick wet, cuz it looks like you’ll end up with STD.“ you responded, rolling your eyes at him.

„Why are you so rude and foul today, are you jealous because I get some pussy and you’re left with no dick because no one wants to approach you since you’re so mean? Get your act together and we can talk tomorrow.“

„No San, you want to know why am I so cheeky? It’s because I have to watch the man I love fuck around with a random hooker. Go enjoy your dick appointment now, you must be busy.“ Without thinking of it any more, you left him there, your aura for sure full of pure rage.

⩥ 𝐒𝐨𝐧𝐠 𝐌𝐢𝐧𝐠

„Ew fuck no, Yeosang that’s nasty, I wish I could go back in time to five minutes ago when I didn’t hear this confession“ laughed Wooyoung at Yeosang’s confession in the game truth or dare.

Wooyoung took the bottle from Jongho’s hand, ready to spin the bottle and let it pick another victim of his stupid asks and dares. Spinning the bottle, it landed on you. Wooyoung's eyes already glistening from the excitement of daring or asking you something.

„So, Y/N, truth or dare?”

„Dare” a playful smirk finding its place on Wooyoung's face

„I dare you to kiss the person in this room, you have feelings for.”

You immediately started to regret telling him, that you like Mingi, the look in your eyes scolding him.

„Okay, but you all have to close your eyes.”

The 8 boys and your other 3 girl friends closed their eyes, as you hesitantly got up, making your way to Mingi, your crush of 5 months. Sitting on the ground next to him, your fingers landed on his jaw as your lips met his. Mingi’s eyes shot open as all your friends started applauding at your confession.

„I-I think i have feelings for you too Y/N...“

⩥ 𝐉𝐮𝐧𝐠 𝐖𝐨𝐨𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐠

You were currently in the changing room, packing your belongings, to take from your workplace. You decided to leave your job as a makeup artist and stylist for the group ATEEZ. The reason was the fact that you liked one of the members and didn’t want to cause any problems to the groups, you knew it was inappropriate to like him, but it was irresistible.

You attached feelings for Wooyoung when you first started to work with them. All eight boys were absolutely amazing, but Wooyoung was just... different. He sparked a flame of interest in you, his personality, his talent, his looks, all those drew you to Wooyoung.

As you cleaned all your makeup brushes, the door to the changing room opened, as the figure of the aforementioned boy stood there.

„What are you doing Y/N? Why are you packing your things, are you going somewhere?“

„I’m leaving, Wooyoung.“

„What, why?“

„That is none of your concers.“

„It is, you’re my stylist, but more importantly, you’re my friend.“

„Yeah, that’s the problem Wooyoung, I’m your stylist - your colleague, that’s why I have to leave.“  

„Why would you have to leave because you’re my stylist, what ar-“

„Because I like you Wooyoung, okay?! That’s why I can’t keep on working with you and mix my feelings into my job, it’s inappropriate, now if you excuse me, I’m leaving.“

The boy stood there as a column, without any movement. Should he go after you, accept your feelings and then you’ll keep on working with him and being his friend, or should he stay there and not go after you? Either way, it was already too late...

⩥ 𝐂𝐡𝐨𝐢 𝐉𝐨𝐧𝐠𝐡𝐨

„So, what’s new in your life, Y/N? We haven’t seen each other for a long time because of our busy schedules.“ Jongho said as he sipped on his boba tea.

„Well, not that much happened in my life. You know how it is, a lot of work and stress, and lesser free time and sleep. I’ve bought a new notebook since my old one broke down and uhm... yeah well... I’ve been catching feelings for this boy lately.“

„Wow, really? I’m so happy for you Y/N, tell me more about it, I need to know what kind of a boy owns my bestie’s heart.“

„Well, he’s a really talented singer, he’s kind and funny, he’s more of an athletic type, hmm... and he’s really really strong. But he’s for real one of the nicest and best persons I’ve ever met, I like him, but I don’t know whether to tell him, because I'm not certain of his feelings...“

„Wow, he seems to be a nice guy, but don’t be blinded by your feelings, if he doesn’t like you, let it be, I don’t want you to get hurt, because of some stupid boy who won’t acknowledge the feelings such a beautiful and amazing woman like you has for him. Anyway, do I know him or who is he? I’m like really really curious right now.“

„It’s you Jongho.. you’re the boy i like.“

[thepriceofbeingaroseisloneliness]

Spice e-plus interview Die & Toshiya 27th April 2021

DIR EN GREY:  What’s the current mood of a band that chose to move forward even in times of Corona? DIR EN GREY is releasing their 32nd single "Oboro" on April 28th. After a series of cancellations and postponements of their lives due to the Corona outbreak, the band continues to move forward with activities such as “Explosive screening ‘Meguro Rock-May-Kan GIG”, an unattended live performance recorded at Meguro Rock-May-Kan GIG,  that is being screened at live houses all over the country. We asked Die (Gt) and Toshiya (Ba) remotely about the shocking music video, the new song "Oboro", and the current band mood.

Notes before reading: This is Die and Toshiya’s interview for the Japanese website Spice E-plus published on April 27th. Feel free to correct me if you spot any mistakes or any confusing parts. Links or credits to this post when the content is reposted or captured in other SNS is appreciated :) --- Original interview: Here

Text by:  Yohsuke Hayakawa ---This interview was done on the last day of the  “Explosive screening ‘Meguro Rock-May-Kan GIG” but, even though there is no audience in that live, the band could play together on a stage for the first time in a while.

Die: That’s right. There was no audience, however at the time of recording there were some moments in which it was difficult to play as there were no limits. The fact we were able to get together for the first time in a long time and play together as a band was simply touching/ emotional.  However, it becomes difficult if you can’t see the audience. Last year we did an unattended live broadcast but that was the first time and as it was broadcasted in real time, I was nervous. In that sense, this time was a bit different from the previous live without audience we did. -How was the “Meguro Rock-May-Kan GIG” for you, Toshiya? Toshiya: First of all, I think it was the best thing to be able to show movement as a band. Also, I’d say overwhelming? About being able to play together, I think the words I’d use would be “happy” and “fun”.

-Ah, it felt like returning to a place that it’s like the origin of the band. Toshiya: That’s right. When the five of us played together for the first time, it was interesting and fun, somehow, I think I was really nervous about it. It’s not something that paralyzes you, I think it was a natural feeling after all. In this special environment because of Corona, it was like the first time we played together, I thought again “after all, this is it”. -In terms of freshness, you also had the chance to play “Ochita koto no aru Sora” (digital single released in August 2020) live for the first time. Toshiya:  Yes. After all, I could realize that as opposed to when you play it with headphones, the rhythm is adjusted in an atmosphere in which the air is moving around. Die: Actually, I felt it was a song that felt familiar and I was playing it while feeling that if we went on tour, I would be able to create more and more grooves.

“ We can’t play lives but as we are making songs for the album, we are moving forward. I’m hopeful because of that” (Die) -Along with the latest songs, there were some nostalgic songs that suit “Meguro Rock-May-Kan GIG”, especially “JEALOUS” was a surprise. Moreover, it was the original version, not the “reverse” one. Die: Hahaha. Well, we’ve played old songs on the "mode of ~" tours, so it’s a song we can still play. However, the tempo of the songs at that time was too different from what it is now (laughs).  It’s simple, but it feels like I’m playing a song from another band. Toshiya: Regarding “JEALOUS”, we were planning to play it at the cancelled tour『TOUR20 Sogai』 - I didn’t expect to heart it at this timing.  Hearing it after a long time…. the impression I got is that the sense of consistency has increased in “JEALOUS”. Die: Hehehe. Toshiya: I think that's right. As we didn’t listen to the click (of the metronome) in the old songs, if someone was going faster, everyone would go faster to keep up the rhythm, and if someone messed up, everyone would be drawn into that.  In that sense, I had a lot of freedom but as recent songs (the rhythm) are matched by this clicking, in order to do that, I tried “JEALOUS” using a metronome this time. That’s why I think you got that impression that it “clicked”. Die: Well, I think we should had done it more freely.  Not using a metronome click as we used to do, the tempo of the song is determined by the feeling of the venue. Certainly, at that time, everyone was doing it like that so I wish we could do it in that way this time too. Toshiya: Yes, that way is a possibility as well. If we have a chance, I think it would be good to do it in such a highly flexible situation. Well, from time to time there will be different rhythms within the band, if the members are simply playing at that moment and doing well, I think the audience will listen to it naturally  and will go with it comfortably. -I see. So, it’s been said for a while you were in the process of making an album, has your mindset changed since when you were working in “Ochita koto no aru Sora", which was done in a relatively early stage of this Corona situation, until now? Die: For me personally, I don't think it has changed. From the beginning, my feelings are heading towards a new album. We are releasing a single this time, but we were working on arranging different songs in parallel, so the mood is basically the same. We haven't been able to play lives since last year due to the corona, but that doesn't mean we've changed the way we make it. Basically, it hasn’t changed our way of working remotely. “When I listened to the melody, I felt the hope that "I'm sure we can make something beyond our imagination next time." (Toshiya) -So, how about you, Toshiya? T: Personally, there have been quite a few changes during that time. The world situation has changed due to the Corona situation and I wondered if we could released the single we made and if the fans would listen to it. I want to play concerts but I can’t do it……how could say it?....this is my point of view but….it’s like I didn’t know what’s the purpose of the band, it’s a bit confusing for me. It's a big thing for me to think that way. Well, now I feel like I have no choice but to move forward. Until that seemed like that, I was thinking where I should rely on, I felt like, where should I set a goal? -Do you mean now after such a period? I wonder if there was a moment in which those feelings you had went up as the new songs for the album took shape. Toshiya: That's right. I haven't seen the goal yet, but I'm working on pre-production with the band right now. After that there will be a period in which the songs will be released. I was listening to the songs that the members brought there, and it was really interesting for me. -Oh, is it interesting? T: Yes. It's completely different from the songs I made myself, and when they pass through the filters of each members, they become versatile and I think that’s very interesting. I don't actually see the members face to face and interact with them but when I listened to the songs, I felt the hope that "Oh, I'm sure we can make something beyond our imagination next time". I think the other members  might also hope for that, or renewed their feelings like about it like, "I have to do my best for DIR EN GREY". Die: Well, about that you mentioned, making songs for the album ... You can see hope as Toshiya said, we can’t play lives, but we're moving forward. I feel hope in that. -That you had to work on the album during this corona situation had a positive effect on your mind. Die: But after all, there is a continuous cycle for the band, touring and producing, and one of them is missing. I don't feel the that tension there. So, while thinking “There is nothing we can about it because we can’t play lives", we are making the next new album and continuing with the hope that later we will be able to tour again. -As a result of concentrating on production in such an environment, do you feel a good response in what you are creating now? T: Of course, there is a response, but I wonder if it’s really good to pack our current feelings together in it. I haven’t found a decisive factor yet. Several complications came out quite a bit but, maybe it’s the way it is now, and it and I guess it’s not over yet. Die: Rather than “in this kind of situation”, the hurdles are simply rising. Everyday, there are many....many....(laughs) -Hahaha. Was that so? Die: Yes. It’s always the same but, if you find a keyword or a hint to the next album, it will lead you to make several songs. Now I think it is still part of our work to find that. I can’t really say at this point what kind of specific feeling is but, if we find it, we can change the shift, or it will be easier to find the direction of the album. Right now, we are exploring this aspect and we haven’t come to any conclusion yet. There will be a moment  it would be like “this is the atmosphere” and it will flow in that way, so I guess it will be easier to go that way. We have no option but explore it further. “It's been 24 years since the band was formed, and it’s like the challenges we are going through are also reflected in the MV, it’s not like we are going to sit back and rest on our laurels” (Die) -I think the song that gives you a glimpse of how the next album will be it’s the new single “Oboro”. At the time of this interview, just the 15- second MV teaser was released but….no, it already is having a strong impact! Toshiya: Hehehe Die: (Smiles)  As for the MV, the concrete idea came out from Kyo, and from that idea everyone went to do it in that direction but, well, it’s like it can’t be done without us, right? It’s been 24 years since the formation, and it seems that the things we are challenging are also reflecting in things like that. It’s not like we are going to sit back and rest on our laurels. -Yes. I feel you are a band that doesn’t know the meaning of “withering” and in a good sense, doesn’t settle down. Die: That’s right. When I was shooting the MV, I talked a bit with Kyo, I was like “Isn’t this too edgy? It’s too much”. Probably, I think that a scene like this can be shown firmly even in a MV where only 5 people play, and I think  it can be expressed in a simple form, but DIR EN GREY isn’t just there, after all, I thought we had to beat in/smash down more and more. So, the MV set this time reminded me of the atmosphere when we debuted, I was feeling like it was still aggressive and no good. -In an era when there is a call for compliance/ obedience, you must have an image of reliance. Die: Haha. But there is a part that it can’t be played (on TV etc…) (laughs). -It’s true (laughs). Toshiya: Well, so this is also part of DIR EN GREY. This talk we just had, I wonder if this scene with the five members playing is also part of what DIR EN GREY is. Personally speaking, I want to try to go to other places rather than this one at the next chance. I still don’t know what that would be, and when it comes to what we are actually going to do, I think everyone, including myself, will be concerned about it again. However, if some form remains, I would like to do something that it’s constantly evolving. -When it comes to the style of your MVs, you want to be a band that has no limits. Toshiya: That's right. For example, DIR EN GREY is gloomy, isn't it? DIR EN GREY is heavy, difficult, and intense, isn't it? Of course, I think it's an option that we can be caught like that (in a MV) but if we even want to surprise ourselves, after all I think I want us to keep working as hard as we can. I’m sure we jumped over those limits but maybe….just maybe….I think that’s  the things the 5 members are looking for…. -In 24 years of activity as a band,  if now it’s time to shake off everywhere, that’s your strength as a band. Toshiya: Yes, I think so. -So, "Oboro" is a ballad with a power and lyrics unique to DIR EN GREY, I felt  the core was made in a way to make you listen to the song and the live  performance of it in a fresh shape. It’s because each part is powerful, even though there are instruments in it that are not the usual ones in the band. As for the arrangements that the band did, was it simply a scraping work? Die: Now it’s simpler than it used to be, we’ve been focusing more on how to make the sound that’s in more powerful than actually just adding more. As I had that mental image,without overdubbing  the guitar arrangement as much as possible, I went in the direction of reducing it. It might be a bad way to say this but, I approached the arrangements with the feeling that this is what I’m going to play live later, so it was like “don’t do anything crafty/pretentious”. -It seems that you are using a Fender Jazzmaster for recording, did you do that choice because of what you just said? Die: That's right.  After all, for chord stroke parts, etc… I’m going to play with that guitar and that tone quality later. So, when I tried to use that kind of chord progression for the first time in a while, it was simple, but it felt like something fresh. It really resonated with me, and when I listened to it myself, I simply thought, "Oh, that's good" (laughs). -Hahaha. That’s good. Is that feeling of being a raw band an essential point for you? Die: Well, that's right. At the so-called chorus part,  it wasn’t  just about filling the backing with the low notes of the guitar. I also took on a new challenge to be able to see the scenery further. “I think there will surely be something that makes it fun for the band, fun to match our sounds again, there will be something that it’s going to feel interesting for sure.” (Toshiya) -I see. Also, the bass phrase is a basic one, but it’s done with an approach that makes each note stand out, including the tone quality/timbre. Toshiya: Regarding “Oboro”, I simply thought  the dynamic image of it would be the most attractive thing, so I wanted to hear each and every sound without really doing anything extra. Up until now, there were too many things we wanted to do, and we wanted to include that and this as well, I had a sound barrier, but I couldn't hear what I wanted to hear. While narrowing down the main points and making it possible to listen to each part you want to hear firmly, still, each of the members started  working on it with the idea that to be able to listen to each part of it would be the virtue of this composition. - As a result, the bass sounds with a thick sound image that has a strong presence. Toshiya: That's right. At the end, I think the part where you can hear the sound of the bass alone is quite distorted, but that is the tone through all the song, and the sound is quite distorted. However, when the sounds overlap, the low feeling is more noticeable than the distortion. Normally, if it is distorted, it tends to overlap  when you join all the parts. However, as I said earlier, each member was thinking about how they wanted to hear their own sound, and even if it is distorted very much, the sound has a strong presence. I think I was able to reach such a result firmly. -While setting up the coordination/the harmony of  the musical instruments, is your main idea oriented toward making a song “that makes people listen to it”? Toshiya: Yes, I have in mind that it’s going to become a song. After all, it’s because I’m thinking it will be a full song. However, I think at that point the band sound has become unbeatable. Die: First of all, the basics of a song (without the lyrics) start once the instrumental part is recorded.  At that point, I still have no idea what kind of song we are getting into, so after the approach of how it’s going to be the singing part actually comes, the task is replacing some parts with a backing that makes the most of the lyrics. I’m always trying to figure out how to make the lyrics stand out. -I'm looking forward to hearing "Oboro" live, but recently you announced a live performance at the Tokyo Garden Theater ("Sogai") on May 6th. After cancelling the tour and Pia Arena MM performance scheduled last year,  does this live performance with audience mean that, after all you have been through, you can see a way that the band can perform in this situation? (* It was announced that this "Sogai" live will be postponed due to the announcement of the state of emergency on April 23rd.) Toshiya: The members and the staff included talked about this a lot, but in the end, after a lot of discussions we came to the conclusion that it couldn’t be “as under these circumstances we can’t do it, we won’t do it’  but rather, the talk went into the direction of “If we don’t do it, we won’t accomplish anything”, of course, there is a national guideline for lives and we have to obey it. While thinking about that, as for DIR EN GREY, nothing will work unless we take action. If you don't take a step, nothing will happen. If you don't move now and say "Let's wait for the time to come",  it’s more like, “when will that time come?”. - That's true. Toshiya: Then, instead of waiting for the time to come, we thought it would be better to make "now" the right time for us. - While there is a change in your previous mindset, you made the best choice you can make now. Toshiya: That’s right.  Our mindset is simply different from those days. Die: As Toshiya said, if you don't experience a live performance during Corona, nothing will come out, and if you simply say, “we won't do a live concert during Corona," that's all. I think we should also have the experience of a live performance under the regulations. At the moment, we can’t ask everyone to come, but it's important for the future that we don't wait without moving at all, that we take a step forward and experience this kind of live. It’s a live that was decided with no idea of how it will turn out. -Is it necessary for yourselves to continue the band in the future? Is it also a trigger/spark for you? Toshiya: Yes. We felt that we couldn't get anything unless we acted on our own to get something. We had a discussion about what we could do while following the guidelines, and we thought that it was the live concert that would be the spark/trigger for us, so I would like to take on the challenge of the next live concert with that decision. As I mentioned at the beginning of this interview, I think there will surely be something that makes it fun for the band, fun to match our sounds again, there will be something that it’s going to feel interesting for sure. In addition, although there is a limit on the number of people who can attend the live, this time there will be  audience there. It’s a commonplace but, I think we can get something like a synergistic effect by colliding with the people who is going to come. - It will finally be a live  with audience in front of you. Die: That's right. However, the hurdles are still rising. You have to make a live concert following a guideline such as half of the capacity of the venue or not being able to shout/scream. I don't think it's good to say, "As the audience can’t shout/scream, we are not sure about doing it". Since we decided to do it, I think we have to do a DIR EN GREY live that has never been seen before. The future setlist and so, we have to change the method itself…. There is no point in doing it unless we get to convince all the fans who come to see us under these circumstances. “I’m glad I came”, “I’m glad I was able to see it”, things like that, I want to make a live that everyone can think of.

[sincerelytan]

Girlfriend V / S Bestfriend

Girlfriend v / s Bestfriend

Word count: 4245

Prompt: “Free Day” Day 7 of Digiweek 2021

Features Characters: Yamato, Mimi, Taichi, Sora, Takeru, Kari, Koshiro and Joe

A / N: I had written this a while back and thought I would post it during day 7 of free day. Hope you enjoy my attempt at this little humours fic.

Also Today is August 1st - Happy Odaiba Day

@digiweek

Summary: Yamato finds himself in between yet another argument of Taichi and Mimi, but this time Sora has a solution that just might solve the age old question or just make things more awkward for Yamato

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“I hope we are not too late,” Sora commented as she, Yamato and Takeru were making their way to Taichi’s house.

“We are very late,” Yamato replied blandly.

“We would have been on time if you hadn’t taken so much time in picking out a gift for your girlfriend,” Sora shot back caustically. “besides, you asked us for our help.” she further pointed out.

“She’s right you know,” Takeru added; “who knew you would take so much time!” he muttered “in choosing a dress,” last part almost to himself.

“Yeah, whatever,” Yamato said rolling his eyes, clearly having heard what Takeru said.

“Thanks for helping though,” Yamato murmured after a bit of walking in silence. “I really want this date to be special.” And Takeru; Yamato said halting and turning towards his brother, “She better not find out about this surprise.” Yamato commanded Takeru in a playful warning tone, remembering how Takeru had a habit of confiding in her in just about anything and everything.

“My lips are sealed!” Takeru said enthusiastically. “Relax, she will love it! I’m sure, besides your anniversary is next week! He said beaming at a nervous Yamato.

Sensing Yamato still needed some assurance, Takeru added, “You got the black dress, the necklace, you booked the table at Il Ristorante - Luca Fantin,” he stopped and looked at Yamato, “You booked it right?”

“Yes, of course, a month ago” Yamato added.  

“And we got the limo, I know because I booked that one, Sora’s going to give you the flowers in the morning” Takeru added counting down the list on his fingers, “We have the perfect coverup story so now,” he continued as they reached Taichi’s house “let’s just hang out with the others and not let her suspect anything.” He said beaming to a somewhat confident Yamato.

Great, poker face, Yamato thought as they rang the bell to Taichi’s door.

 When they arrived at Taichi’s all 3 of them were revising their excuse as to why they turned up together and that too late. The excuse was going to be that Yamato and Takeru were held back by their mum and on the way to Taichi’s place they bumped into Sora who was going to say she came from her tennis class that was near Takeru’s place and thus they ended upcoming together.

As it turned out they didn’t really have to worry about their excuses because they could hear Taichi and Mimi arguing while they waited outside for someone to open the door.

“What’s the argument about this time?” Sora asked as Joe opened the door.

“You wouldn’t believe me even if I told you” Joe sighted back rubbing his forehead.

“Are they finally here?” Kari called out from the room.

“Yeah,” Joe shouted back.

“Tell them to come here and end this now.” they heard Koshiro say clearly sounding annoyed.

 “We have been friends forever.” They could hear Taichi claim loudly at Mimi.

“So have we! and we’ve been dating for 3 years now.” Mimi shot back.

“Ha please, you’ll didn’t even talk with each other during elementary school.” Taichi declared assuming his victory.

“So what! I know things that you would never ever know,” Mimi replied back with a smirk, “I am the one that sleeps with him.”

Yamato blushed bright red overhearing this conversation as he, Takeru, and Sora entered the room.

“Are you two fighting; over who knows Yamato better?” Sora asked with amusement.

 “Obviously I do!” Mimi smiled as she approached Yamato and gave him a quick kiss.

“Kissing someone doesn’t necessarily mean you know them,” Taichi said shrugging his shoulders. “I kissed Catherine a couple of times; didn’t know she already had a boyfriend.”

“That’s because all you guys did was kiss,” Sora commented back dryly.

“Touché!” Taichi smirked at the guys as Sora and Kari shook their heads. 

 “Anyway,” Yamato said butting in “I guess I would say, Mimi does know me better than you, sorry Taichi.”

“That’s my man,” Mimi said happily sending an air kiss in Yamato’s direction.

“Whipped” Taichi smirked as he received a glare from Yamato.

“Anyway, I know you are just saying this because you want to continue sleeping with her.” Taichi continued now rolling his eyes at Yamato. “and you know I am right, thus further proving my point that I know him better,” Taichi concluded with his hands gesturing and looking at everyone to agree with him.

As Yamato opened his mouth to argue back, “A quiz!” Sora chimed in quickly.

“I will ask both of you’ll a few questions about Yamato, and whoever answers most of them correctly is the winner.” Sora continued excitedly as Yamato, Mimi and Taichi looked at her with confusion.

“That’s a good idea but obviously Yamato will agree with Mimi and cheat,” Taichi said shooting a look at Mimi.

Before Mimi could argue back to that, “Written cards” Koshiro butted in. “Sora can ask the question, all 3 of you’ll get a card to write the answers and then everyone can reveal the answers that they wrote at the same time, so no one can cheat,” Koshiro explained.

“You can’t be serious!” Yamato said facepalming while Taichi and Mimi were giving it a serious thought.

“This is a great idea” Takeru chimed. “Although technically I am supposed to know him better than both of you’ll.” He said pointing at Mimi and Taichi, “but this way I will find out things I don’t know about you” he added with excitement.

“This is going to be so much fun” Sora smirked with gleaming eyes as she looked directly at Yamato.

“I’m sorry Yamato”, Joe added sympathetically patting Yamato on his shoulder. 

  While the others prepared the questions, Yamato, Taichi and Mimi waited in the other room.

“Better game up Tachikawa,” Taichi said stretching his neck, getting his game mode on.

“You’re going down Yagami,” Mimi said narrowing her eyes at Taichi.

“Oh Boy!” is all Yamato could mutter.

 “Okay, we are ready,” Kari giggled as Taichi, Yamato, and Mimi entered the room.

“Please sit at your assigned seats,” Joe said, pointing to the chairs that had each of their names, a bunch of empty cards, and a marker for them to write with. “This way no one can cheat,” he said as Yamato, Mimi, and Taichi took their seats.

“Rules are simple,” Koshiro continued, “Sora will host, asking you’ll questions about Yamato, you get 10 seconds to write your answers on the cards and when asked you will reveal what you have written after which Yamato reveals his answer, Kari keeps score, and we can see which one of you’ll knows Yamato best.” He finished taking his seat near Joe and Takeru as Sora stood in front of the three participants.

 “Welcome to the game of Girlfriend v/s Best friend; a game where Mimi, the girlfriend, and Taichi, the best friend or is it the other way around?” Sora spoke commanding everyone’s attention as she began the game joyfully in her best host voice.

“Anyway, where both will try and answer some questions about Yamato. The person with the most correct answers wins the game and proves to the other that they do indeed know Yamato better.” She continued gleefully.

 “Okay, let’s do this!” Mimi said with a determined look on her face. 

“Bring it on!” Taichi answered equally determinedly.

“You all are enjoying this way too much,” Yamato said annoyed.

“You have no idea,” Sora replied giggling.

  “Starting off with an easy Question, Question 1 for girlfriend vs best friend is What colour M&Ms are Yamato’s favourite?” Sora asked grinning at the three.

As soon as Sora finished asking the question Mimi, Taichi, and Yamato quickly wrote down their answers as Koshiro timed them.

And “Mimi” Sora said pointing at Mimi as Koshiro gave her the nod indicating the time was up.

Blue – Mimi’s card read. “He always snatches up the blue ones while I go for the red ones.” She said smiling broadly.

Blue – Taichi’s card also read “this is too easy.” He said lazily.

“And now for the reveal, Yamato?” Sora asked turning to Yamato.

Yamato sighed and held up his card, where it was written Blue, “remind me why I agreed to this again?” he asked in a defeated tone.

“Because it’s fun and we get to take your case,” Sora said with a bright smile. “Also, I get my revenge on you for dragging me through 20 different shops” She added the last part softly to Yamato while Mimi and Taichi were busy taunting each other. “A point to both Mimi and Taichi” She concluded loudly pointing at Kari who giving a thumbs up and wrote down the score on the board.

 “After an easy start moving on to Question 2!” Sora continued with the same enthusiasm; What is Yamato’s favourite food?”

As before all 3 of them wrote down the answer as soon as Sora asked the question and Koshiro began his timer. With a nod from Koshiro, Sora asked Taichi and Mimi to reveal their answers.

Pizza – Taichi’s card read. “obviously” he muttered while showing his card.

Onigiri/Mochi – Mimi’s card read “I know this because I cook for him.” She answered giving Yamato a sweet but dangerous look indicating his answer better be this.

Onigiri – Yamato’s card read. “I like pizza and mochi as well,” Yamato said looking at Taichi apologetically, while Mimi gave him one of her widest smiles.  

“Oo bad luck Taichi, looks like Yamato’s favourite food is Onigiri.” Sora concluded in her host voice. “and that’s a point to Mimi." She said pointing at Kari who put another point up for Mimi.

“Whose favourite food is not Pizza!” Taichi said out loud and annoyed as he threw his answer card down.

“We all like pizza but you have an unhealthy obsession with it Taichi,” Kari said sighing. “Seriously I once saw him finish 2 large pizza’s in 1 go,” she added looking at the group.

“Hey, those pizzas were to die for,” Taichi said defending his love for pizza.

“Oh, is it the place you insisted we go for my birthday?” Koshiro asked. “Oh yeah, those pizzas were really good” he agreed, much to Taichi’s delight.

“The very same” Taichi answered happy that Koshiro was there to back him up.

 “Which reminds me, we should order some food for later,” Joe said taking out his phone to place an order. “Any suggestions?” he asked looking around.

“Pizza” Taichi answered before anyone else could. “And Yamato my Pizza is on you for not answering pizza.”

“And mine too” Mimi added. I agree with Taichi on this, she giggled much to Taichi’s delight.

“Wait, What! But Onigiri? Fine!.” Yamato said just throwing his hands up and giving up.

“Hey, I am the host, my Pizza is on you as well,” Sora added to the mix.

“I keep the score” Kari chimed in.

“and I time you guys,” Koshiro added.

“and I am your brother,” Takeru said giving his best puppy dog face.

“you guys torture me like this and expect the pizza to be on me?” “Some friends you are!” Yamato started protesting.

“Pizza is on me and Yamato,” Joe said giving Yamato an apologetic look as Yamato put his hands on his face in annoyance.

 “As Joe orders the Pizza, we move on to Question 3, What is Yamato’s preferred pizza topping?” Sora continued in her host mode.

“Was that question on the list?” Koshiro asked giving Sora a confused look.

“Well, I just thought of it” she added. “come on guys it’s a relevant question!”

Alright, muttered the three as they wrote down their answers.

“And for the reveal,” Sora said pointing towards her best friend, “Mimi”

Double Cheese – Mimi’s card read. “Yamato really loves cheese”

Double Cheese – Taichi’s card read as well; “you better not answer anything else, our friendship is literally at stake now” Taichi said dramatically.

Double Cheese – Yamato’s card read, “you know it” Yamato exclaimed as Taichi grinned chanting, “Our friendship is saved.”

 “Mimi leading by a point, we move on to Question 4,” Sora said laughing at the exchange. “Which is Yamato’s favourite band?”

“And answers,” she said as she got the nod from Koshiro.

Mimi and Taichi held up their cards at the same time

Nirvana – Mimi’s card read, “Yamato absolutely loves them, he also likes Linkin Park though.”

Nirvana – Taichi’s card also read. “Yeah, I remember this from elementary school.” He said shooting a look at Mimi.

Nirvana – Yamato’s card also read. “I think everyone knows this.”

“Apparently they do, adding a point each to Mimi and Taichi.” Sora concluded.

 “For Question 5” Sora continued; “Which sport does Yamato least suck at?”

“Thanks for putting it that way,” Yamato said rolling his eyes at Sora.

“My pleasure, and Mimi?” Sora smirked, clearly enjoying her role as the hostess.

Basketball – Mimi’s card read “He loses against Takeru every time,” she said earning a grin from Takeru and a very annoyed “hey” from Yamato.

“Taichi?”

Basketball – Taichi’s card also read. “He really sucks at soccer.” Earning a further “hey!” from Yamato.

“I can beat every one of your asses in Basketball,” Yamato stated as he showed his card that read Basketball.

“and yet somehow you always lose to me”

“Shut up Takeru.” Yamato glared at Takeru as everyone laughed.

 “Moving on to Question 6,” Sora continued. “What is Yamato’s favourite guilt trip series to binge?”

Doctor who – Taichi’s card read when Sora called out his name to reveal his answer. “I don’t know why but he loves that show.”

Glee – Mimi’s card read next.

“Mimi that’s your favourite guilt trip series, not mine” Yamato said, showing his card that read – Doctor who.

“but you always watch glee with me” Mimi pouted.

“yes, because you enjoy it, I watch it with you,” Yamato said smiling at her, at which she further pouted.

“Looks like Taichi knows Yamato’s Tv preference here better than Mimi” Sora concluded. “With a point to Taichi, he is now caught up with Mimi.”

 “And for Question 7,” Sora continued in her best hostess impression. “If Yamato could have anyone’s superpowers from the Avengers team, who’s powers would he want to have?”

“Great question!” Kari said looking at Koshiro, who had suggested the question. Blushing at Kari’s comment, Koshiro nodded to Sora as the time ended.

 “Mimi? Your answer please” Sora asked her friend.

Captain America – Mimi’s card read as she looked at Yamato with a dreamy expression.

“Oo Captain America, that would be a hot choice,” Sora giggled. “Taichi?”

Iron Man – Taichi’s card read. “Please, Yamato is more like Tony Stark, also he’s the coolest.

Thor – Yamato’s card read. As everyone gave him a bland expression. “What?” he added.

“Seriously? I thought you like Captain America, you have a keychain of his shield” Mimi squealed, somehow offended, “also he’s the hottest! and you definitely have the Ass, perhaps not America’s but definitely Japan’s Ass.” Mimi added winking to a very red Yamato.

“Hmm I don’t know, maybe; Yamato, give us a twirl now, will you?” Taichi said trying to check out Yamato.

“And deleting that image from my mind,” Takeru said making a face at Yamato.

“Yeah, but I would prefer Thor’s powers, I could fly and manipulate thunder and also not to mention I would be a God.” Yamato tried defending his answer.

“Okay, no points for anyone, looks like you guys need to buck up your game, if you wanna win who knows Japan’s Ass better,” Sora concluded laughing.

“Shudd up.” Is all Yamato could say red in his face as everyone laughed.

 “Moving on to DC, Question 8!” Sora continued as the laughter died down. “Who is Yamato’s all-time favourite DC character?”

“I actually like DC more than Marvel” Takeru added to the room.

“Nah aa, marvel all the way” Kari shot back at Takeru. “They have better movies”

“Please, who can compete against Batman?” Takeru chimed in.

“Have you read any of the comics?” Koshiro asked them both.

“some” Takeru mumbled while Kari shook her head.

“And before this gets into a Marvel vs Dc or TV vs Comics, answers please!” Sora slipped in halting that discussion.

Batman – Taichi’s card read. “obviously”

Nightwing – Mimi’s card read. “This time it’s definitely the butt," she added with a squeal.  

Nightwing – Yamato’s card read. “It's not because of the ass” Yamato added to a gleaming Mimi.

“Okay, seriously Yamato, you have got to give us a twirl!” Taichi exclaimed.

All Yamato could do was glare at Taichi as the girls giggled and the boys laughed.

 “We are just getting started on to the good questions” Sora added cheekily as the laughter subsided. “Moving on to the next question! Question 9” “What age did Yamato have his first kiss?”

Yamato and Mimi both blushed hiding their faces behind their cards as they wrote the answer.

“And Mimi?” Sora asked

13 – Mimi’s card read

16 – Taichi’s card read. “He was a late bloomer” Taichi teased

13 – Yamato’s card read as he held it up to cover his face.

“13? Really? Who?” Sora asked surprised, asking the question that was on everyone’s mind as Yamato was extremely closed off as a person that time.

“Mimi,” Yamato answered slowly “the day she was leaving for the states”

“But you guys weren’t together that time,” Koshiro asked. “or were you already secretly dating”

“Well, it was unexpected for me as well, I mean I did have a crush on him that time but didn’t think he had, so imagine my surprise when I went to tell him goodbye, he kissed me.” Mimi smiled at the memory, “And he’s really improved a lot since then in that department” she added in a teasing tone.

“I knew I saw the two of you kiss, you told me I was seeing things,” Takeru exclaimed at Yamato.

“I didn’t really want anyone to know,” Yamato said apologetically to Takeru.

“Those mood swings make so much more sense now” Takeru added laughing.

“Okay, moving on” Yamato gestured to a smiling Sora.

 “This game is just getting started,” Sora said amused at Yamato’s embarrassment.

“I am going to kill all of you,” Yamato replied pointing towards Sora and the other spectators.

“Kari, would you tell us the score please,” Sora said sticking out her tongue at Yamato.

“Taichi needs to game up, as Mimi is leading by 2 points.” Kari added with a giggle.

  “Revealing more secrets of the lone wolf, moving on to Question 10” Sora smiled “What is Yamato’s favourite alcoholic beverage?

Even before sora could ask for an answer,

Beer – Taichi’s card read. “phh please” he added with an air of confidence.

Old Fashioned – Mimi’s card read. Please, Yamato likes his classic gentleman’s whiskey drink”

Old Fashioned – Yamato’s card read.

“What old fashion? Are you kidding me!!!! We always drink beer together” Taichi bellowed.

“But I like a good whiskey, bourbon, or scotch.” Yamato tried to defend himself.

“And you don’t like the beers we drink together?” Taichi asked absolutely furious.  

“Yeah, of course I like beers but that’s not my favourite alcoholic beverage Taichi” Mat tried to explain.

“oh! So now beer isn’t sophisticated enough for you! First, you turn your back on Pizza and now Beer!” Taichi crossed his arms absolutely fuming.

“Taichi” Yamato tried to continue.

“Next boys’ night you get your own fancy-ass drink” Taichi pouted cutting Yamato off “Sora, next Question”

“Taichi” Yamato tried again.

“Next Question Sora”  

 Giving Yamato an apologetic look, Sora continued “Moving on to Question 11, What is Yamato the most afraid of?”

Ghosts – Taichi’s card red. “Remember the time when me, Takeru, and Mimi pranked Yamato” Taichi said laughing at the memory as they had spooked Yamato quite badly.

Ghosts – Mimi showed her card, smiling at the memory.

Ghosts – Yamato’s card read as well, cursing Takeru for revealing his secret.

 “With Mimi still in the lead, Question 12” Sora continued with a knowing smirk towards Yamato. “Which celebrity is on Yamato’s list? Basically, which celebrity does Yamato wish to sleep with?” she further clarified.

Mariya Nishiuchi – Taichi held up his card excitedly

Merei Kiritani – Mimi held up her card with a stoic expression.

Mariya Nishiuchi – Yamato held his card, looking anywhere except at Mimi.

“oo she is pretty” Joe let slip to everyone’s amusement.

“Didn’t she come for one of your shows?” Takeru asked with an innocent curious look, while Mimi looked surprised, and Yamato tried to signal him to shut up.

“I don’t know what you are talking about” Yamato dismissed Takeru.

“Hang on!” Mimi added looking at Yamato now. “When was this? And how do I not know about this?”

“She came backstage as well” Takeru added. “I remember it was when you were in New York for your work visit,” Takeru said looking at Mimi.

“Mimi, I swear, nothing happened. She came to meet the band and that was it, I walked out of my dressing room when she came in”

“Okay this even I didn’t know,” Takeru said amused. “I just remember she came backstage to tell you guys she really enjoyed the show.”

“Are you telling me, you had the opportunity and you chickened out?” Taichi roared with laughter.

“Excuse me?” Mimi said tartly to Taichi.

“I didn’t chicken out Taichi, I didn’t want anything to do with her.” Yamato replied just as tartly.

“Not what you said when we were watching ..” Taichi continued in a teasing tone

“Shut up Taichi” Yamato cut Taichi off. “Mimi, babe, its not ..”

“We shall talk about this later,” Mimi said narrowing her eyes.

 “Is this over yet?” Yamato asked to the room where the others were just giggling at his misery.

“no no, I want to see what else I don’t know about you.” Mimi replied in a teasing manner.

“Is it lets torture Yamato Day, today?” Yamato asked rhetorically.

“Mimi,” Joe asked cautiously, still not convinced of her mood, to which the ever bubbly girl just smiled and winked. Satisfied that Yamato won’t be in much trouble, Joe cleared his throat, “I think we have 3 more questions” to which Sora and Koshiro nodded.

The bell rung indicating the pizza was here. Joe and Yamato went to get the pizzas and pay for them, with Yamato insisting to pay for the whole thing and Joe politely but sternly telling him that they can split it amongst both of them.

 Handing everyone their food and beverages, as Yamato and Joe got back in their place, Sora continued the game.

“To continue on to Yamato’s torture, Question 13,” she asked, “What type of porn category does Yamato like?” in a very serious and calm voice.

Joe almost choked on his drink while Koshiro spat out his drink, as the remaining two roared with laughter.

 “Taichi?” Sora asked barely able to contain her laugh,

Cheerleader – Taichi’s card read. “I remember the time when he used to fantasize about Mimi in her cheerleading outfit all the time. I don’t think he’s gotten over that.” Taichi said raising his eyebrows cheekily at Yamato and Mimi.

Threesome – Mimi’s card read. “Really? You used to fantasize about me back then?” she asked amused. “And here I thought you were dropping hints for a 3way.”

Cheerleader – Yamato’s card read. “That wasn’t a hint, Mimi. I told you it was a misunderstanding.” He said blushing furiously than he ever had.

“Shame,” Mimi said casually checking her nails, “I might have been game.” She added with a wink towards him.

Taichi nearly fell off his chair, while Koshiro did fall off his chair, his mouth open with shock.

“You lucky lucky son of a gun,” Taichi added to a blushing Yamato, with a slight hint of jealousy in his voice.

“Misunderstanding?” Sora asked trying to fish for the story, while Kari just laughed and Joe looked down embarrassed.

“Okay, too much information for me,” Takeru said clearing her throat. “Next question please,” he said gesturing towards Sora.

 “So having that opportunity taken away from him, moving on to Question 14.” Sora continued still between her laughs. “What is Yamato’s safe word?”

Sora wiped the tears rolling down her cheeks and gestured for all of them to reveal their answers.

Orangutan – Taichi’s card read.

Orangutan – Mimi’s card also read.

Orangutan – Yamato’s card read as well.

Seeing the shocked look on everyone’s face, Mimi looked over to Taichi’s card and in a very loud pitch voice, almost shouting exclaimed, “What!!”

“What! No way, What! How do you even know that?” Mimi bellowed.

“Are you fucking kidding me right now?” Taichi laughed falling off his chair, as Yamato just stared at Taichi with total shock. “Dude we really are soulmates.” Taichi managed to say between laughs as he struggled to get off the floor.

“I’m done, you know what I am done. All the other questions are irrelevant now” Mimi dropped her cards, got up, and walked out the room.

“Mimi come back,” Taichi tried calling behind her. “Princess,” he called after her as he got up and ran behind her still laughing his head off at the coincidence.

Yamato just shook his head, covering his face with his hands, as the rest of the people in the room erupted in laughter that went on for quite a while.

[perfectharmonyloveschaos]

Sora Is the Master of Masters All Evidence

Part 1:

Kingdom Hearts 2.8 Backcover is the first instance that we meet the Master of Masters ourselves without anyone else’s perspective of events and see him as an individual character. From the get-go, the Master of Masters (or MoM as I will be addressing him throughout this theory for simplicity sake) is immediately addressed with heavy respect from his title alone. But, Chirithy also makes sure to mention his “mischievous” nature that we see a lot of throughout all of his appearances from here on. Due to the Master of Masters only being included and planned from Backcover onwards, it definitely seems more than coincidental that all of his similarities to Sora take place in the games technically made after Backcover which I will discuss; Backcover itself, KHX and KHUX, 0.2, KH3 and ReMind.

Both Sora and MoM are introduced as joker, light-hearted characters who use humour to lighten dark situations and comfort people. They hold themselves lightly and make fun of themselves to make others laugh or to lighten the dark of a situation. Sora did this when he comforted Riku by pulling a funny face (“how am I going to face everyone?!”/“like this?”) in KH2 while MoM pretended to question if Invi cared about him when she was overthinking things and getting worried about the events to come (“do you… want me to go?!”)

Both characters share several of the same gestures and body movements, with Sora copying a lot of MoM’s gestures especially in KH3 and ReMind. Both hold their arms behind their heads, tilt their heads or even bodies sideways playfully and poke things to name a few shows off their playful, animated gestures. Both use their right hands when using the Keyblade with Sora holding his in his right hand and MoM summons No Name with his right hand to give it to Luxu.

Along with these personality and movement similarities, we also have the infamous Gazing Eye' glitch found in KH ReMind that 'definitely calls this theory into question. Why does a glitch like this only happen with Young Xehanort, whom we know MoM interacted and met with? Why does it only happen when Young Xehanort uses his time alteration powers if this was simply a glitch in the texture of Sora and the Gazing Eye's eye? Would that not mean that this could be triggered at any other time? And why is it so cleanly done if not to be intentional? This 'glitch' appears perfectly on Sora's eye and doesn't affect any other texture on Sora. If Sora was in fact MoM, would it not make sense for his possibly clairvoyant/prediction abilities to be affected by Young Xehanort affecting time? This would be too difficult go be a simple visual glitch or error of the engine given how the texture of the Gazing Eye appears in both of Sora's eyes perfectly, as well as appearing bloodshot since there would be no reason for Sora's eyes to use the bloodshot texture AND the Gazing eye texture together.

Speaking of Sora’s eyes, this also brings me back to the pre-KH3 release conspiracy theory about Sora’s eye colour changing to green throughout the trailers which people passed off as being the reflections of the environment. This happened several times throughout the game and seemingly meant nothing, but when you consider who Sora was interacting his eye colour changed, him possibly being the MoM explains this. The first time we see this is in Mount Olympus, when Sora meets with Xigbar for the first time since DDD and we see Sora’s eyes have strong green tint compared to Hercules, who also has bright blue eyes that don’t seem to be affected by the lighting. Maybe only the KH original models are affected for some reason? Xigbar’s eyes are also not affected, while yellow, which would definitely show given how intense Sora’s are. Xigbar, is Luxu, so one could assume that anyone connected to MoM would make Sora’s eyes react, yes? Again, we see Sora’s eye go green with others as well. In Kingdom Of Corona, Sora’s eyes are once again green and while it it way greener here than Olympus, Marluxia’s—or Lauriam, who MoM choose as a Dandelion leader and survivor of the war—eyes once again are not affected, nor are any other characters’ like Rapunzel, Flynn, or Mother Gothel. Only Sora. We see this again with Ven when Vanitas is going to kill Aqua in the land of Departure and Sora wakes Ventus up from inside him, Sora’s eyes go green while no one else’s, including Ven and Aqua both of whom have blue eyes, have their eyes affected. And the final past character that is directly tied to the MoM through the dandelions and Sora whose presence affects Sora’s eyes is Ephemer in the Keyblade Graveyard. Ephemer has no reason to come to Sora here, compared to Ventus who he knew in canon and had every reason to help but let die in the previous ending, given that they do not know one another beyond Ventus. And as the camera zooms into Sora, Sora’s eyes gain a slight green tint to his eyes before the centre of his eyes change to a light, greenish blue that is very similar to another Name’s Gazing eye and focuses on his eye not only here, but once Sora snaps back to reality and focuses on the reflection of all the dead keyblades helping them. Here, Sora’s eyes are green again the exact same way that his eyes were green interacting with Xigbar/Luxu and Marluxia/Lauriam, both of whom were tied to the MoM. The green tint and highlight of the colour around his iris is identical to that of the Gazing Eye in No Name, with the environments and how others reacting to them in each of these worlds showing that these events and only these affect solely Sora’s eyes, proving that this is not just a simple light reflection but something done intentionally to Sora’s eyes.

Beyond physical and personality similarities, both Sora and MoM share another quality with only one other individual in the entirety of the KH cast; they are the only ones aside from Xehanort to have held and been the apparent wielder of the X-Blade. While we never see him with it, Nomura confirmed that MoM had had the X-Blade at one point and studied it to create the Keyblade that everyone in KHX used. He used the X-Blade as an example and managed to figure out, through studying it, how to extract the light/power from people’s hearts and shaped their Keyblades which he then trained the Foretellers with. As well as the X-Blade, MoM also had a sort of authority over Kingdom Hearts as well as Ira mentioned that he had given them Keyblades to protect Kingdom Hearts and Ava tried to warn Gula away from summoning Kingdom Hearts since MoM had said it was “forbidden”. Gula decided to try and summon Kingdom Hearts in order to force the MoM to return to set them straight, showing that he held a sense of cautious as well towards it and decided to not use it and lock it away instead. Given that the MoM’s word was seen as gospel, this was more than likely a serious warning and order. And what do we see by the end of Kingdom Hearts 3? Sora, earning the X-Blade and telling Xehanort that using it is wrong and that no one should use its power to change destiny, before closing it to keep the worlds safe. Both characters—with only Xehanort as the other wielder of the X-Blade and exception of this mindset—had this power and chose to not use it but instead locked it away from using it for their own gains.

Both of these characters also shared the same philosophy of destiny despite the power they hold; Sora, who has challenged and even changed his friends’ doomed fates claims that a true leader knows that destiny “beyond his control” and “accepts that”, something that makes no sense with how much he has changed his own destiny and the events written in the Book Of Prophecy. However, the Master of Masters shares these ideals and believes not in changing what is meant to happen, but rather in preparing for what happens after that in order to secure the best aftermath. Why would Sora believe in this given his past, if not to draw similarities between himself and MoM?

The Book Of Prophecies, as depicted in Backcover, also shares connections to what we assume to be the timeline of events surrounding not the the events of Backcover and the Keyblade war, but rather the events of the entire game series timeline. We see MoM looking at the Book of Prophecies through the Cases of the different Foretellers and Luxu, as well as Ira later on in the movie which we can use to create a basic ‘timeline’ of events based on imagery depicted.

We see the MoM look through throughout Backcover, with the ‘Case of Gula’ showing what seems to be the earliest part of the book we see with an illustration of a darkside heartless and a keyblade which would either be the Kingdom Key or Kingdom Key D, placing the beginning of the book at the first Kingdom Hearts game. The reason I think this takes place during KH1 rather than 0.2 is the Sora’s crown emblem being on the page previous to a Darkside heartless, seeming to signify Sora and then his first battle against the darkness either on his Station of Awakening or Destiny Islands, as well as these pages appearing to be nearing the middle of the book which would make sense given that Sora only entered the canon timeline after the whole Fairytale Saga, BBS and 0.2 took place. Then, we see the next page with an image of a shadow heartless, both which Sora fights on Destiny Islands after getting the keyblade and then in Traverse Town where he learns about the darkness or could simply represent all heartless as the most recognisable heartless. The page after this shows another Keyblade which looks like the Kingdom Key again, while the next page is the infamous ‘traitor’ that the MoM rips out and gives to Gula and the page after holding another illustration of Sora’s crown emblem. Given the pacing of events based on the concept of this book depicting the events of Sora’s experiences in KH1, the page detailing the ‘traitor’ may in fact be talking about Riku and his betrayal of Sora by accepting Maleficent's help. The MoM’s wording seems to support this, by telling Gula to “find the traitor hidden among you and stop them before it’s too late”, through Sora eventually learning of Riku’s fall to darkness and possession by Ansem before stopping Riku-Ansem and saving the worlds.

This causes us to question exactly how would the MoM know of Sora's first adventure given that his eye, at this point, hasn't even seen Sora yet? The only logical answer? Because he lived it.

During the ‘Case of Aced’; when Aced, who acts a lot like Sora in KH1, is angry at Ira being chosen to be the new leader and was constantly in Ira's shadow, much like how Sora was undermined by Riku who was seen as the better of the two and originally chosen first by the keyblade. These corresponding at the same time suggests a connection to KH1, Sora, and Aced. Even their whole discussion over why Aced shouldn't be leader seems to, much like his discussion with Invi over keeping up "otherwise you'll be left behind, all alone" seems to cause an unconscious reaction from the MoM. "I know you want it, but that just isn't enough. Any chump can say, 'You! Here's a huge promotion. Good job!' and make you head honcho, but enthusiasm alone doesn't make a great leader." The way this is worded, especially with "great" and not just "good" suggests he has a basis for it, similar to how Sora saw Riku as being better than him. His following line "Ira needs someone like you to give him a push in the right direction" is spoken with anger or bitterness, as if the MoM understood Aced's annoyance at being considered second and feeling similarly in the past, as if he had to act supportive and push someone who was considered better than him in the 'right direction' before. But, his "you need to support Ira'' line is spoken sternly, acting as though he knows from experience that someone like Ira would need the more emotional support of someone like Aced, who uses his heart to decide things rather than "always just thinking and thinking and thinking behind that Unicorn mask of his" as Ira does. Everything said in this scene definitely parallels Sora and his emotions in the first KH game up until Sora decided that his friends were his power and that he didn’t need the keyblade to be strong, something that the MoM understands and acts sympathetic towards Aced about while trying to push him towards the same idea; "you might not be entirely happy with your role, but just know that it's the most important one." There is also a sense of symbolism in this scene with the MoM using his hand to cover the Kingdom Key when telling Aced that he will be Ira’s right hand man, possibly paralleling back to Sora’s own sense of being overshadowed by Riku.

Other connections these two share include the emphasis of their bond with Dream eaters and the Wreck-It Ralph summon from KH3. Both of these two characters show a stronger connection to Dream Eaters than any other characters, with MoM being the ‘creator’ of the Chirithy dream eaters which hold a deep connection to their owners’ hearts and are affected by their owners’ state given that these dreams eaters, like when Sora fell into darkness, fall into darkness with their masters and become nightmares. And what is Sora’s nightmare in DDD? A figure in a dark coat with purple and pink colours and a dark dream eater symbol on their back, much like the MoM and his black coat and the Chirithy nightmare we see in Backcover and KHUX.

[kessielrg]

[Kingdom Hearts] Old Habits, New Reasons

Summary: Three times in which Namine shies away from social functions just to draw, and the one time someone joined her. [oneshot][character study][NamiXi if you really wanna squint][also Namiku if you squint a little less]

Rating: K

Word Count: 3,469 words

If you liked this story, please reblog!

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Their question had thrown Namine off slightly. She sheepishly looked down at her small sketchbook as if it could answer the question for her. The white page stared back at her in silence.

A part of Namine knew this would happen eventually. There was always that fear that someone would follow her, ask her what she was doing, and then tell her to rejoin the others. But that wasn't what they were asking, was it? They wanted to know why she was drawing. It was a simple question, and it was a bit odd that someone would have lugged a caboodle of art supplies with them to a banquet.

"Well?" the other girl asked. "Is there someone who would get mad you're drawing, even if you did it around your friends?"

"I don't think so." Namine decided, slowly. "But sometimes... it's just easier to draw without other people around you. And sometimes, when people find out that you're good at something, they make you do that something for them. It's not very fun."

"Do you always leave to draw, though?"

At first, Namine wanted to disagree with all her heart. But in introspection, it was more of a vice than she cared to admit. She loved drawing, but didn't like others watching her as she did it. When did that happen, she wondered. That didn't used to be the case...

"Sometimes." Namine finally said. She held her sketchbook a bit tighter before adding, "But only on certain occasions."

"Like?"

Namine looked over at the other girl with curiosity. She was greeted with a look just as inquisitive as her own. Maybe even more so. There was a genuine interest; that much was certain. Maybe there was a budding artist in their midst?

"Well..." she carefully said, moving her sketchbook a bit to flip through the earlier pages, "There was this one time..."

. . .

It was a small comfort that, while she wasn't a Keyblade wielder herself, the others considered her when they all got together. She still made sure that her presence didn't disturb anyone. Being quiet and observant was Namine's most reliable vice. That, and drawing. There wasn't much else she knew how to do. Her time as a Nobody barely ranged a year, and after that she was placed safely inside Kairi's heart until recently. Being a Somebody was... confusing, to say the least.

Being asked to join in on a slumber party with Kairi and Xion had been a surprise- perhaps even more so because Master Aqua herself gave her the invitation. Namine certainly didn't expect it to take place in the Land of Departure either. The world seemed far too grand to her -far too important in the history of Keyblade wielders- that it could be used for anything beyond a training arena. She was proven wrong after entering the Great Hall with Kairi. Aqua had given them a spot in front of the thrones, already decorated with sleeping bags for all four of them and a small assortment of snacks.

"I've never got to have a proper slumber party before, since it was me and Terra for most of our childhoods." Aqua admitted at some point. "Feels weird having one with you guys now. I feel like a mom."

It was Xion who, without skipping a beat, cheerfully declared, "And you're the best one I'll never have!"

"Xion!" both Aqua and Kairi declared, each with their own level of bewilderment. Namine only offered a stifled laugh. So proud at their reactions, Xion gave them all a smile so big, it almost rivaled Sora's.

After that, they started to talk about various things since they all met together. Apparently everyone's training was going rather well. Kairi was beginning to get a handle of second tier elemental magic, while Xion was working on personal techniques on and off for the past week. It was around this time that Namine politely excused herself from the others. They had been so caught up in their conversation that they didn't even notice.

Namine went to where she and Kairi had placed their personal things to find her caboodle. The caboodle was a neat little box with drawers that opened the same time she opened the lid. She was able to put all her art supplies in it. Most of them, anyway- her normal sketchbook was too large to fit. Instead, she used a smaller pad that was placed where the mirror in the caboodle was. Once Namine made sure she had everything, she carefully found a spot far enough away from the others so she could draw them. It honestly wasn't very far, but it was still far enough away that the other three didn't really notice her. That was fine. If anything, it was perfect.

The sounds of the others almost masked the sound of her pencil against paper. Spending most of her life locked away with nothing but drawing to distract her gave Namine a slight skill in speed drawing. However, she took her time when she started to work on her friends. She wanted as much detail as she could.

But she didn't bother to sketch her own sleeping bag. She tried to tell herself that it was because it ruined the composition. But deep down she knew it was because she didn't fit with the others, and so it didn't need to be included.

Namine finished her drawing without the others ever knowing she was gone. She placed everything back in her caboodle, then went back as Kairi went into a long story about Tidus and Wakka back on the islands. It was nice; the sounds of friendship. Namine had been the first to go to sleep that night.

. . .

At first, the only response she got was a quiet, "Oh..."

"It was a really fun time!" Namine quickly insisted. "And it really was a treat to be included."

"But you drew yourself out."

Namine flinched slightly. "It worked out better that way. From the angle I was at, it would have looked weird because I had the really light sleeping bag, and everything was so dark anyway..."

The other girl only looked more guilty.

"Do you still have the picture?" she wondered.

"I think so." Namine agreed. She adjusted herself so she could better go through her sketchbook before flipping through the earlier pages. "Here," she then offered as she handed it over.

There was a small hum as the other ran her fingers over the drawing. Namine had made deliberate choices in lighting around the three Keyblade wielders- light coming off of them as if they were lighting up the whole room. If you looked ever closer, you could see the detail of the castle's floor, and even make out the silhouettes of the three thrones in the background.

"Does anyone know that you go somewhere away from everyone to draw?" the other girl asked, handing the sketchbook back to Namine.

Namine gave a fond, almost bashful smile.

"There is someone..."

. . .

"There's a lot of people here." Namine noted as she tried to look over the crowd. Riku wasn't making the same amount of effort. Instead, he just casually looked on with a hand at his hip. Curse him being a full head taller than she was.

"Aqua said that Disney Town holds the Dream Festival every year." Riku agreed with a small nod. "Can't be that easy since Queen Minnie has almost been reigning the kingdom alone for the past few years. The effort is definitely amazing though."

Namine agreed with a nod and a small noise of affirmation. Disney Town looked absolutely splendid for the festival. All the colors, and the smells, and the energy was enough to put anyone in a good mood. The grip Namine had on her caboodle tightened slightly. A frown crossed her lips as she considered that there might have been too much commotion. There wasn't a good place to just sit and zone out without some kind of noise maker going off.

Riku must have noticed this. He looked over at her, and quickly saw her firm grip on the caboodle's handle.

"Are you sure you don't want to leave that in the Gummi Ship?" he asked. He even made a mild gesture to the box, which only made Namine hold it closer to her.

"No. I'm going to use it." Namine insisted. "I just... I just need someplace a bit more quiet..."

Riku nodded. He looked up again to see that Queen Minnie had taken the stage. The queen looked as beautiful as always in her formal pink and red ballgown. The jewels on her crown glittered under the multicolored overhead lights. Everyone cheered at seeing her- the love and admiration they had for their leader was enough to be felt from miles away. Minnie was a good queen, there was no contest about that.

As Minnie tried to settle the crowd down so she could speak, Riku bent down a bit to quietly tell Namine something.

"There's a sewage grate somewhere behind us. If you take it, there's a gizmo that will lead you up to one of the buildings overlooking the racetrack. Don't know about you, but a good aerial shot might be something to capture for later."

Namine grinned. "Thank you Riku." she said before giving him a small peck on his cheek. The young Keyblade master's face gleamed with a humble blush as he stood tall again, almost as if he had never moved at all. Namine laughed a bit at it before leaving.

Finding, and getting into, the grate had not been an issue. It did take her awhile to navigate the gizmo, though. But it was all worth it once she got to the top of a particular building. Namine let out a soft 'Oh...' of wonder as she sat down near the edge facing the racetrack. Riku was right- this was a good place to work. If only she was able to use larger sketch paper in her travelling kit.

When she was finished, Namine very quickly tried to find Riku again. She shouted his name after spotting him. He barely had time to turn around before she proudly displayed her new drawing to him.

"Do you think Queen Minnie will like it?" she asked, rather breathlessly.

Riku looked at her before looking down at the drawing. He put on a wide smile before telling her, "She's going to love it. It's perfect."

. . .

That story had brought about a rather brighter mood in the other girl.

"Did Queen Minnie like the drawing?" she asked. "You did give it to her after the festival, right?"

A sense of pride welled in Namine's heart, leading her to sit a bit straighter. "She loved it." she grinned. "She immediately had the brooms take it to the gallery to be expanded and mounted. You should have seen the look on Riku's face. He was as proud as I was, and probably more surprised!"

"I could only imagine." the other girl laughed. "Oh!" she then said, "Have you ever gone someplace with a view so nice that you just couldn't replicate it no matter how hard you tried? It's hard to recreate any atmosphere, in my opinion. I wanna know if you ever tried to as well."

Namine let out a soft hum as she thought about it. She let out a small noise of realization when it came to her.

"I did once before, yes." she agreed. "Since Kairi's parents don't mind me staying with them, I was able to join her, Riku, Wakka, Tidus, and Selphie to a beach party they had. It was still summer vacation, if I remember correctly. And Tidus really wanted to have a girls versus boys match..."

. . .

"Head's up!" Tidus shouted before serving the volleyball over the net.

"Cheater!" Selphie shouted back as Kairi managed to spike the ball back. Tidus only gave a rather sinister cackle back. However, at that point, no one was able to break their concentration just to smack talk each other.

Namine watched as Kairi and Selphie worked against Tidus and Riku in a rather well matched volleyball tourney. Wakka wasn't too far away- he had lost a bet earlier and had to make food for everyone. The smell of pineapples and fish hung in the air. It was the warmth of the midday sun that Namine loved the most. The feeling enveloped its way around her like a comforting hug. She let out a soft sigh as she got a bit more comfortable.

The sudden urge to draw made her fingers twitch.

This wasn't a good spot for it, though. She was too close to the others for anything but sand to get onto the paper than color. As much as she loved watching the volleyball match, it was still a bit too distracting. Namine started to get up and casually looked around for a better spot to draw. It didn't take long for her eyes to train to a crow's nest not far from the shore. It was part of a large treehouse that seemed to encompass the island. She looked back at her friends for a moment before quietly leaving them. If anyone noticed she was going, they certainly didn't question her about it.

After getting herself situated at the higher point, Namine found herself gaping at the scene below her. Her friends happily playing on the beach, the light reflections off the water, and even the island holding the paopu tree providing a view so beautiful, so rich, that she wasn't even aware that she was opening her caboodle at first. Seeing the Destiny Islands through Sora's heart was nothing compared to the real thing. Was it possible just to freeze time here and let everything else wash away? She smiled a bit to herself. She did have a way to freeze time, in a way.

The only unfortunate thing was that she wouldn't be able to capture it all. She couldn't encapsulate the smell of the sea, or the sounds of Tidus demanding the girls had leverage over him for some reason. She gave a small smile as she continued to work. Most of her effort was spent trying to reflect the sea around them. A certain impatience came over her as she carefully did each detail. You always had to start with the big stuff, then go down smaller. She was just so eager to capture this moment, anyway she could, that she was always picturing this drawing when it was done.

Namine had to force herself to stop after an hour. Her hands were starting to hurt, and her stomach was growling for food. She cracked her knuckles, barely relieving the tension in them, before putting her stuff away. There would always be time to clean the picture up later. For now, she needed to rejoin her friends.

. . .

And so, we were brought back to our initial setting- the banquet in Radiant Garden.

Namine had thought at first that this would be the perfect opportunity to work on drawing food. But the actual banquet itself had a lot more activity than she was anticipating. There were too many people at the tables to have space to stand at for a few minutes, and she had tried to get a plate for herself to take elsewhere- the allure of delectable aromas wouldn't let her go far without wolfing everything down. So she decided to get a higher view.

To her luck, there was a balcony overlooking the main area. It wasn't blocked off or anything, so Namine quietly crept her way to the top. She found a place to carefully overlook the area and found herself at awe. Even if she was aware that someone was behind her, she probably wouldn't have known it at first.

"Namine!" a voice suddenly said in surprise. Namine jumped a good foot before turning her attention to the newcomer. She relaxed a little when she found it was just Xion.

"Xion..." the blonde girl sighed. "It's just you."

"Am I interrupting you? I'm sorry. I'm not interested in food, and the boys are really going at it, so I really wanted to do this writing exercise where you describe an atmosphere, and..."

"No, no, no. You're fine." Namine insisted. She moved her stuff a bit before gesturing for Xion to sit down next to her. "Here," she offered, "Sit next to me. The view is nice from this area."

Xion smiled in thanks before carefully sitting down. She looked out over the balcony and gasped.

"You're right, this is a good view!" Xion marveled. Her eyes expanding in wonder. "This is the perfect place for Ebba to plant a listening device onto an enemy!"

"Ebba?" Namine wondered. "Who's Ebba?"

At Namine's confusion, Xion's face lit up in a deep scarlet.

"She's my... I think Pence called it 'self-insert.' It's a character that's based on me, but sometimes has a few differences. I've based most of the stories I write on stuff I did in the Organization. It's helped a lot with trying to cope with it. You know?"

Namine shrunk a little. "Yeah..." she agreed in a tiny voice.

"But it's real fun too!" Xion told her, trying to divert the heavy topic a bit. "I base everyone in story with someone in real life! You should see the guy I based on Xemnas... I do a lot of mean things to him."

Namine let out a small chuckle. But then a thought occurred to her.

"You based the characters in your story on us?"

"Of course I did!" she happily declared, her blush growing a bit, besides. "Roxas is Lucas, Master Aqua is head knight Meikai, I even have Pluto as the brave pup Mercury!"

"Do... Do you have someone based on me?"

Xion paused for a moment. Her face going still. However, just as quickly, her smile came back as wide as ever.

"Not yet, but I can!" she decided. She hummed a bit as she thought it over some more. "But I don't have to if you don't want to. I think I'll call her... Syrena."

"Syrena..." Namine hummed in thought. She then gave a bright smile in appreciation. "I like it."

"Great!" Xion beamed. She let out a rather contented sigh before asking, "What about you? Why did you come here?" She looked down at Namine's sketchpad and art supplies for a moment then added, "Did you come all this way just to draw?"

After some hesitation, Namine told her. Carefully, and in her own time. Xion listened intently- only asking questions when Namine was done relating a certain day. When the subject came back around to where they were, Xion seemed to understand much better.

"I get it now." she said.

"You do?" Namine wondered.

Xion gave a thoughtful little nod before explaining, "It's easier for you to draw when it's more quiet. That was how it was before. I think it's great that you're still drawing, even though you started because you were held hostage by the Organization. But the Organization didn't give you the skill you have, Namine. That’s all your own. Kinda like how writing is my special thing. We have ways to just... be ourselves, you know? It's comforting. It's like knowing that, even though we didn't start out in this world with our own goals or ideals, we can make them on our own now. We're free now, Namine. Free to do whatever we want."

Namine absently hugged her sketchbook. "I like that thought." she admitted. "I never really saw it that way before, either. Drawing is something that I know I can do. Something that won't harm others. But you are right- it's what makes me... me. Thank you."

Xion grinned. A wide, bright grin that could have lit up a room. It gave Namine an idea.

"What does Ebba look like?" she questioned, at the same time she pulled out one of her sketching pencils. "Does she look just like you, or are there a lot of differences?"

There was a moment of confusion on Xion's face, then a bright flicker of joy. Not a second after, she burst into a long babble about her character. She even used her arms to illustrate certain concepts and mannerisms. Namine laughed, and did her best to keep up. Xion was so passionate about her characters- it almost made Namine jealous. For the next few hours, Namine did a blend of Xion's idea for Ebba, while Xion herself got to writing about how Ebba got to meet a new acquaintance; a mysterious girl named Syrena, who -while mostly shy- was very well loved.

[minijenn]

Keys Comm #6

Finally! The last baby of the bunch! This is another one for @rosie-drawss, who wanted a third part to the sort of ongoing series I've been writing for her in which Sora is brought back to the lights early in Keys. So if you wanna catch up to what the heck is going on here, I suggest you read:

Part 1

Part 2

Before reading this one! And with that, enjoy some family feels!

***

Sora sleeps far longer than Riku and Kairi do--understandably so for someone who’s gone without sleep for as long as he has. They lay in bed alongside him for a long time after they awaken, soaking in the peaceful silence as they both watch Sora peacefully sleep in between them. In many ways, it's almost too good to be true, like a dream they’ve both been having for such a long time now, finally coming true before their eyes. But this isn’t a dream; this is real. Sora is really here, really back in the space between them, back in their reach after so many months away. And even if it isn’t perfect, even if there’s still so much that needs to be done to truly save him, they still savor this moment for all its worth. They still savor being with him, even more now than they did before.

The quiet calm of their morning is soon interrupted by a soft knock on the door. It’s enough to finally wake Sora up at least to some degree as he lets out a tired groan, rolling over as he shoves his head under his pillow, muttering “five more minutes’, much to Riku and Kairi’s shared amusement. In the end, however, Riku is the one to encourage whoever’s at the door to enter, eliciting another loud moan of protest from Sora.

“Sorry,” Aqua whispers with a small smile as she pokes her head in. “We wanted to wait as long as we could to let you three get all the rest you need. But…” she smiles as she fully enters, toting a tray laden with pancakes, eggs, fruit, and hot drinks. “I did bring breakfast, if that makes up for it.”

Before either Riku or Kairi can thank her, Sora suddenly sits up, still clearly half asleep as he takes in a whiff of the appetizing meal Aqua brought in. “Did somebody say breakfast…?” he asks with a drowsy, hungry smile.

The others all get a good laugh out of this as Aqua sets the tray up for the trio, allowing them to eat it in bed as she prepares to leave to let them enjoy it in private. “Take your time, but as soon as you’re done, head on up to Master Yen Sid’s study,” she instructs. “He’s called a special meeting so we can talk about… e-everything.”

The trio’s mood quickly shifts at this, all three of them tensing up as they exchange apprehensive glances. Sora’s is by far the most anxious as he looks between Riku and Kairi, his fear palpable enough that they can both practically feel it themselves. Which is why they both rush to quell that fear as quickly as they can. “You don’t have to go if you don’t want to,” Riku assures.

“Yeah, we can always tell them you wanted to get more sleep,” Kairi adds just as supportively.

“...Well, that’s not really a lie,” Sora manages a smile, though it's soon broken as he lets out a long, loud yawn. “I… kind of have a lot of that I need to catch up on…”

“I’ll let the others know then,” Aqua says with an understanding smile. “Also, Sora, your mother wanted to know if you were up to a visit later on. She said she could be up right after she finishes cleaning the kitchen from making breakfast.”

“I figured these pancakes were hers,” Sora notes with a small smile. “Yeah, you can send her up. But I can’t promise I won’t be asleep by the time she gets here.”

“You can sleep after you eat,” Kairi grabs him by the arm before he can ease himself back under the covers. “And we’re not leaving until you’ve finished every last bite.”

“Alright, ‘Mom’,” Sora jokes as he takes the plate she’s offering him.

“Better curb that sass,” Riku says just as playfully. “Or we’ll tell your real mom.”

“Aw, come on, you guys,” Sora grins between bites of breakfast. “We’re not little kids anymore.”

“Then stop acting like one and eat your breakfast already!” Kairi shoots back as Sora sticks his tongue out at her.

Aqua leaves the room as their “argument” continues, laughing quietly to herself as she closes the door behind her. “I have a feeling that no matter what happens next,” she says to herself, hope filling her heart where there was little the night before. “Those three will be just fine now that they’re together again…”

***

Most of the meeting is largely a blur for Riku and Kairi. They stand toward the back of the study, solemnly listening to the guidance Yen Sid has to offer for their most pertinent plight. Occasionally, one of them will pitch in, largely for the sake of updating the others on Sora’s status based on what they’d seen this morning and last night. But other than that, they say nothing, allowing the others to debate on what they need to do and where they need to go next. Eventually though, they have no choice but to weigh in on the conversation, especially when the inevitable question finally arises.

“So… is there any way we can stop what’s happening to Sora?” Naminé is the one to ask it when she senses that Riku and Kairi are both far too anxious to.

Yen Sid is silent for a long time and the others all largely hold their breath as they wait to hear his verdict. In the end, however, it isn’t exactly one any of them were hoping for. “I’m sorry to say that there is no method to setting Sora’s heart free that I have been able to find in my extensive studies,” he informs them, his eyes shut and his tone pensive. “But that does not mean there is no hope in saving him. It simply means that we must resort to cutting down the darkness invading his heart at its very source.”

“Then it looks like our mission hasn’t changed,” Riku speaks up gravely. He pauses for a moment when he senses another nightmare about to befall Sora, one that he swiftly chases away so that he can continue sleeping in peace. But the mere audacity of that nightmare’s attempt at getting to him at all is enough to sharpen what Riku has to say next even more. “We have to defeat Xehanort, no matter what it takes. Even if there’s even just a chance that taking him out will set Sora’s heart free, it's a chance we need to take.”

“But… what about the rest of the Keys?” Mickey asks. “There’s still several more we need to find before the Organization does, and now that we have Sora back, they’re bound to try and take him away from us too.”

“If they’re dumb enough to to try that, then they better be ready to deal with every last one of us,” Roxas hisses, more than resolved to keep his other safe.

“That’s right,” Aqua readily agrees. “We’ll protect Sora and we’ll find those last few Keys. Even if we have to go our separate ways to do it.”

“No,” Riku counters, shaking his head. “Splitting up has never worked well for us before. That’s how we lost Sora in the first place. We need to stay together from here on out. We need to be a team.”

“So… what? Are we all just gonna cram together onto that tiny ship every time we need to go somewhere?” Axel asks, raising a skeptical eyebrow. “I like all of you guys well enough, but I don’t know about getting that close into everyone else’s personal space.”

“We don’t have to use the Gummi Ship,” Kairi suggests. “I can summon light gates we can travel through. They might be an even faster way of getting around, which is a good thing if we want to find those Keys as soon as we can.”

“The sooner we get them, the sooner we can confront Xehanort and hopefully put a stop to all of this,” Terra points out.

“But is it really safe for us to take Sora with all of us?” Ventus asks, worried.

“Even if we’re all together, then the Organization could just as easily come together to attack all of us to try and take him away,” Xion adds just as fretfully. “And if we can’t protect him from them, then-”

“Aw, phooey!” Donald suddenly snaps. “If they wanna get their hands on Sora, then they’ve gotta go through us first!”

“Yup!” Goofy boldly chimes in. “We’re not about to let anyone else, not Maleficent, not the Organization, not even Xehanort himself, take him away from us ever again!”

“No, we won’t,” Riku nods, resolute. “And not only are we going to keep Sora safe, we’re going to make him feel safe too. When I found him last night, he was so… terrified. I’ve never seen him like that before, and to be honest, I don’t want to see him like that again. He’s not just scared of what’s happening to him. He’s scared of the possibility that he might accidentally hurt any one of us too. That’s why we have to make sure he knows that won’t happen. He’s safe here, with us, and it's up to each and every one of us to help him really believe that.”

The others all immediately agree to do exactly that, to help Sora ease his way back into the fold of family and friends he’s spent such a long time running from. To help him feel like he’s finally back to where he truly belongs. As the others begin brainstorming ways to help provide him with that comfort, Riku and Kairi exchange a small smile, glad that they have such reliable friends who are all every bit as dedicated to Sora as they are. Glad that they aren’t alone in wanting to not only set his heart free, but helping it heal as well, no matter how long that healing might take.

“Do you want to fill Sora in on the game plan or should I?” Kairi whispers, aside.

Riku shakes his head, his steady smile widening as he takes in the air of warm earnesty spread by his fellow lights. “We’ll all tell him,” he says simply. “Together, just like how we’re going to be from here on out.”

***

Himari is nothing if not an incredibly patient woman. She’s waited for her son to return to her before, waited to hear any sort of word on where he is or how he’s doing, waited for Riku to bring him back as soon as she arrived at the tower last night. And now, she waits for her son to awaken from his slumber, a soft, if not somewhat sad smile resting on her face as she hums the lullaby his father used to sing to him, stroking a gentle hand through his mostly white hair.

“Oh Sora…” she whispers, more to herself than to him. “I know you said I have nothing to be sorry about, but… I can’t stop thinking about how different things would be if I had just kept you home… If I never let you leave then… m-maybe… maybe you wouldn’t be…” She cuts herself off as she fringes on a sob that she only narrowly suppresses. “What kind of mother am I?” she shakes her head, forlorn. “I can’t even do a single thing to help my son when he needs it most… If only you were here, Ki…” Tears finally slip down her cheeks as her fingertips ever so softly skim the crown charm resting around Sora’s neck, a necklace that used to belong to her husband before him. “You’d know what to do about this. And even if you didn’t… at least you’d know what to say to make me feel better about it…”

Himari starts, a surprised gasp slipping out of her when Sora suddenly lets out a small laugh. “C’mon, Mom, Dad was never the one who knew what to say,” he remarks as he opens his eyes, smiling as he sits up in bed. “He always used to say you had ‘a way with words’ or something like that. I never got what he meant back then but I-” He stops himself, his casual manner falling to pieces when he meets his mother’s tearful gaze. She forces back those tears as best she can, a hand held over her mouth as she struggles to be strong for him… and fails miserably at it all the same. “P-please, Mom,” Sora implores her as steadily as he can. “Don’t cry. I don’t want to… I-I’ve already cried so much by now a-and if you cry then I know I will--even if I try to stop myself, I can never stop myself anymore--and I just-”

Himari cuts him off abruptly when she throws her arms around him, pulling him into yet another tight, yet comforting hug. “I’m not crying about that,” she tells him in a whisper. “I… it’s just… it’s been such a long time since I last saw you. You’ve grown so much in just a year… I’ve missed out on so much…”

Sora sighs, his guilt growing to the point that he soon finds he can contain it no longer. It pours out of him the same way his tears do, rapid and remorseful as he struggles to say everything he knows he needs to, everything he knows he owes her after how long he’s been gone. “Mom, I… I’m so sorry… When all of this started to become… t-too much for me, I wanted to come home, just like you told me to, but I was so scared that you wouldn’t want me if you saw me like… like this, so I ran and I-”

“Oh, Sora, sweetie, no,” Himari cuts him off, her voice soft and kind. “Even if you do look different, even if you have changed… you’re still you… You’re still my son, a-and I still love you so, so much, Sora… Please,” she pulls away, still holding his face in her hands as she offers him a tearful smile that’s as bright and warm as the sun itself. “Don’t ever forget that…”

“I-I… I won’t…” Sora says, despite his amazement, despite his awe that she could still love him after he’s strayed so far from home, so far away from her. But she loves him all the same, every bit as much as he loves her, and for as safe and secure as that love makes him feel here and now, that’s something he has no intentions of letting go of again anytime soon.

It isn’t long after this that a knock sounds at the door. Sora and Himari compose themselves quickly before Riku and Kairi enter first, though the other lights soon file in after them. The bedroom is a rather small one, but they all cram in to make space, each of them wearing hopeful smiles as they prepare to share their newfound plan with Sora. A plan that they have the utmost faith in, despite how uncertain everything else surrounding it might seem.

“So we’ve decided that we’re all going to look for the last few Keys together,” Kairi begins brightly. “And that you’re coming with us, Sora.”

“If you want to, that is,” Riku quickly cuts in, knowing the last thing he wants is to force Sora to do something he’s not comfortable with. Not now when he’s still clearly struggling to trust them all again. “If you don’t, that’s fine. We can always take you and Himari back to the islands, and a few of us can stay behind to make sure the Organization doesn’t-”

“No,” Sora interrupts. He stops briefly, offering his mother an apologetic glance. “I’m sorry, Mom…” he whispers to her. “But… I have to go again. They won’t be able to find those Keys without me, they need my help, I-”

“I know,” Himari says with a sad, tired sigh, far more used to this than she knows she should be. “Just… come home to me quickly this time, ok?”

He smiles when she skims the side of his face again, her gentle, loving touch a comfort he can’t help but cherish after having gone without it for so long. “I will. As soon as we have that last Key, I’ll be home on the islands with you again. I promise.”

Himari nods, accepting that promise as she offers a hand to help him stand. “I’m going with you,” he tells the other lights, his tone as determined as it can be. “I-I want to go with you,” he corrects himself, not wanting to sound like he’s doing it out of obligation. Even if he is. “I’m sorry I ran away before, but… I want to be a part of the team again, i-if you’ll have me, after… everything.”

“You’re kidding, right?” Axel speaks up with a small, incredulous laugh. “We weren’t much of a team at all without you around.”

“You were our missing piece, Sora,” Ventus adds, smiling kindly. “You’re the one who helped bring us all together to begin with. We wouldn’t have stopped until we brought you back too.”

“So quit feeling sorry for yourself already,” Roxas teases, crossing his arms. “And just accept the fact that we all missed you way more than you thought, ok?”

“And that we’re all so glad you’re finally back safe and sound,” Naminé chimes in warmly.

“And that we’re gonna stick right by your side,” Goofy concurs.

“No matter what the Organization might do to stop us!” Donald pipes up resiliently.

Sora can’t help but let out a small, practically elated chuckle at their shared enthusiasm. As he realizes just how wrong everything his master had told him had been. As he realizes just how much his friends really do care after all if they’re willing to go to such great lengths solely for him. “So,” he says, looking to Riku and Kairi as he takes the hands they’re both extending out toward him. “I guess we’re doing this together then?”

“Yeah,” Kairi smiles as Sora slips his hand into hers, more than ready to embark on whatever journey awaits them next.

Riku does the same when he takes Sora’s other hand, determined to do everything in his power, to give anything he has to just to make sure he’ll never have to let him go ever again. “Together.”

Commissions are Closed!

[kenmasgameboy]

【ｒｅａｃｈｉｎｇ】

an oikawa x seijoh president!reader

oikawa toru has so many girls falling at his feet, but it wasn’t always like this. when y/n met him there was no one yet to inflate his ego, when he was pure to himself, the person he is when it isn’t performative. she fell in love. after forcing a rejection from him, where he says he never saw her as a girl, she’s determined to become the absolute perfect girl for every one except him.

profiles: [ student council ] [ on the block ]

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↬ entry #1: age 6 ➺ chapter 1: age 18  ➺ next

age 18:

𝕚. different now

MAKE SURE TO READ THE WRITTEN PORTION BELOW THE CUT

Your hands felt like they were surely going to fall off at any moment. You never really did get used to being in front of big crowds like this. Even last year when you had to give your first speech as a presidential candidate to the school you wanted to burst into flames. Your hands always did this thing when you were nervous, ever since you were little they’d become so gross and clammy. You hated that about yourself. What a weak give away.

The principal was just beginning the ceremony, and you waited outside in the hallway until it was closer to your turn to speak, pacing back and forth you stared out the window. The mid day yellow light peaking through the large trees in front of Seijoh’s campus. You really loved these trees, they would always shake and rustle in new ways everyday, reminding you of ways that you could stand your ground but continue to change in your own way. Some seasons shedding yourself completely bare and growing a new color, or a new branch, breaking them off as you went.

Today, even the trees that normally would be there to offer you a quiet calmness didn’t help you today. Your body still succumbing to its stage fright. This was your first appearance as Aoba Johsai School President to your student body that you represented, you needed a perfect impression. You needed to be perfect. The more you thought about it the jitters in your hands only increased, you tried to loosen the tightness, shaking them from your wrist downwards in hopes they would just fall off. You always did this before volleyball games and it never failed you. You only stopped your nasty habit when you heard rapid footsteps coming in your direction.

“Hey, there you are. I’ve been looking for you everywhere.” Sora’s voice carried down the hallway. Your vice president had been looking for you. His chest heaved in breaths to try to regulate his body after running around.

“Sorry. I’ll be inside in a second, I just—” You said, pulling your hands behind your back to hide them. But it was too late.

“Are you nervous? Why? Everyone already loves you it’s not like they’ll change their minds now.” Sora said it lightheartedly, but there was a pressure that sat on your shoulders when he said it. An extra weight of expectation.

“Don’t say that.” You shrugged off the compliment, thinking about one face in particular. You groaned at the way he still had an effect on you. You thought of Toru’s eyes, “Not everyone.”

“Maybe not. You’re right, I can’t speak for everyone.” Sora smiled softly, “But as your Vice, I can speak for you. And I know you’ll be perfectly fine up there. I have full confidence. If you start stuttering, just take a second and keep going. We practiced this morning, right?”

“Right.” You nodded, your throat suddenly becoming overwhelmingly dry. “I know, I just have a lot on my plate today, there’s too much I’m not looking forward to.”

“Then let’s check one thing off, right? Let’s go out there.” Sora said, he grabbed your hand in his tugging you along. You weren’t ready, he wasn’t listening to you yet. But maybe he was right, you did need to be out there sooner than later. Still, you needed a few moments to collect yourself, to dampen your hands, something.

“Then let’s check one thing off, right? Let’s go out there.” Sora said, he grabbed your hand in his tugging you along. You weren’t ready, he wasn’t listening to you yet. But maybe he was right, you did need to be out there sooner than later. Still, you needed a few moments to collect yourself, to dampen your hands, something.

You couldn’t say anything, You became paralyzed in place as you looked at the back of Sora’s head. Your legs felt numb as they carried you in stride behind him down the hallway. His hand holding yours, it reminded you of someone again. Seeing him again this morning in class must’ve resurged these memories you pushed away as nothing. This was different, this wasn’t him. The back of Sora’s head was shiny and straight. His blond hair didn’t bounce, and he didn’t look back to smile at you. There was a sinking feeling in your stomach, it didn’t feel like nerves or anything like that. It felt like a settlement.

Your eyes ended up drifting off to the right, only slightly enough to catch the eyes that were more familiar than you remembered. His hair looking darker than when you were young, but it shined all the same. He still shined, even when he wasn’t smiling at you. Your eyes followed each other. The moment slowing down to make your first dose of eye contact in 2 years a dangerous and addictive cocktail.

Your hands were still sweaty, still nervous and shaking. It broke away from the confines of Sora’s palm. You need to grip them tighter when she’s nervous. The boy who stood innocently by the restroom found himself offering silent advice in his head. Toru couldn’t take his eyes away from the light that poured between the gap of You and Sora’s palms. It’s like he saw an opening, illuminating his opportunity and his body.

For the first time in ages, he felt the nostalgic need to grab those familiar sweaty palms. For a second he thought you’d stay with him, stay back and ask what he was doing in the hallway by the boys bathroom and not by your side? Why did he waste so much time? Did he think you were more beautiful today than every day he’s seen you before? He needed you to ask him those questions. 

His daydream was over in a second, once your face contorted from the hopeful surprise of someone who used to calm you into a disappointed grimace of remembering the hurt he had caused you that erased everything from before. You kept jogging behind Sora, no words were exchanged. You didn’t need to say anything to Toru, he heard you loud and clear.

“I hope you regret it. I hope you regret everything. I’ll never trust you like that again, not really.”

To him, this was a challenge worthy of taking. The time to change it all was now.

***

       【ｆｕｎ　ｆａｃｔｓ】

➺ Michi was late to the student arrival because she was slipping a love letter in Oikawa’s shoe locker. He didn’t even see it that day.

➺ Ito has really never spoken to y/n except she held the door open for him one day, he took that as she’s in love with him and too scared to tell him.

➺ Ito approached Matsukawa, Hanamaki, Iwaizumi, and Oikawa when all four were together. It was actually Oikawa who told Ito he had no chance in hell with y/n. the exact words he used was “she’s not just going to fall in love with someone who’s never cared enough to get to know her first before saying something like that. theres no way in hell you’d have a chance with a girl like her.”

➺ the other three just kind of stood there agreeing but also like “.__, tough talk coming from you, Oikawa”

➺ y/n has been starting libero since her first year, despite debating dropping volleyball in high school she decided this would look great to universities that she was involved with more than just student council. she still was invited to girls Japan youth camp for her achievements as an athlete. regardless, she still knew her real reasons were that it was the last piece of something he gave her.

➺ unlike oikawa, y/n hasn’t even thought about dating anyone in high school. she’s been single her whole life despite getting a fair amount of confessions in her time.

➺ y/n also follows oikawa on a fake account.

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reply with a comment or send an ask to be aded to the taglist!! if your name is crossed off it’s because i couldn’t tag you, let me know if you’ve changed your username!

a/n: wOW what a doOZY of a long first chapter, they all won’t be this long but i felt like i had a lot to set up. Let me know what you guys thought!!! i hope this guys got you a bit more hyped for this story! more to come!

[phoenix-downer]

Spring Birthday

After Sora’s return, Naminé’s friends celebrate her birthday with her. While her early days were lonely, her life is very different now, and she treasures each new memory with the people dear to her heart.

~1650 words. Post-Kingdom Hearts III and Melody of Memory. Gen, Friendship, Fluff. Naminé POV. Written for @naminezine​, and the banner art is by the lovely @somniumars​.

“Naminé, when is your birthday?” Kairi asked over breakfast one day, scones with jam and clotted cream, served with a hot cup of tea for both of them. They liked to visit this cafe together at least once a month. It had outdoor seating, and the weather was finally warm enough again for them to sit outside with light jackets. 

Naminé stopped buttering her scone for a moment and frowned. It was a simple enough question, and yet she found herself unsure of what to say. 

“Well, I suppose it was the day Sora released his heart to save you,” she said at last. “But as glad as I am to be alive, it feels strange to celebrate that day, considering what happened.” 

“I understand,” Kairi said softly. “Are there any other days you can think of?”

Naminé paused once more and thought as Kairi sipped some more of her tea. The only other day she could really think of was… 

“The day of my rebirth. It was spring on Radiant Garden. The sun was shining, the flowers were blooming, and the weather was perfect.” She sighed happily at the memory. “I’ll never forget what it felt like to walk outside for the first time in a body of my own.”

“Then why don’t we make that your birthday? I know we technically missed it last year, when we were all searching for Sora, but it’s coming up here soon.” 

“Sure, that sounds nice.” Naminé put one more cube of sugar in her tea to get it to just the right sweetness, then added a little more cream and stirred. “I’ve never really thought about having a birthday of my own before.”

“Well, you deserve to have one,” Kairi said with a determined glint in her eye. “You’re your own person. Always have been, always will be.”

The two girls chatted some more as they finished their breakfast, and the subject soon slipped away from Naminé’s mind. It wasn’t until she and Xion were gathering shells together on Destiny Islands a few days later when the topic of birthdays came up again.

“See,” Xion said as she picked up a thalassa shell, “I like these ones the most, with the pink centers and yellow edges.” 

“I like them too. Yellow’s one of my favorite colors.”

Yellow was the color of the sun. A hopeful color for a girl that had begun her life in a cage, longing to see the outdoors for herself. For that reason alone it was precious to her. 

“You like blue too, right?” Xion said. She placed another thalassa shell in Naminé’s palm, this one with a blue center and yellow edges.

Naminé nodded. “Yes. Blue is the color of the sky… of the waves… all the things I longed to see when I was imprisoned in Castle Oblivion.” 

“It suits you, and so does yellow,” Xion said with a smile. “Born from the waves, and reborn during the spring.” 

“Xion, when is your birthday?” Naminé suddenly asked. She realized she hadn’t really gotten to celebrate it with her before. 

“Oh, my birthday? I figured it should be during the fall. I don’t know why, but I’ve always been drawn to falling leaves, the seasons changing, that kind of thing.” She smiled ruefully. “I suppose because I felt like my time was limited, just like those leaves. Kairi actually asked me about it recently, I think because she wants to—”  

Her eyes went wide, then she coughed and craned her neck. “Look, I see some more shells over there!”

Naminé found Xion’s startled reaction rather curious, but she didn’t press her friend. It was just nice to spend time together sharing a hobby they both enjoyed. For a girl who had started life with no friends of her own, Naminé was lucky to have so many now. 

The next time she met with her friends, it was for a picnic on Rapunzel’s world, in a clearing in the woods near a small pool. The weather was perfect, sunny with a breeze blowing dandelions and flower petals through the air, and she and Sora and Rapunzel were all cloud gazing after a delicious lunch of sandwiches and cookies and lemonade. 

“See that one right there?” Rapunzel said, pointing up at the sky. “It looks like Maximus.” 

“It sure does!” Sora put his hand behind his neck and grinned. “The sky’s full of all sorts of interesting clouds today.” 

“I wish I had my sketchbook with me,” Naminé said with a sigh. “I’d love to draw all of them.” 

“Take a picture with your Gummiphone then,” Sora suggested. “You can always draw it later based off of that.” 

“I’d like to, but I’ve run out of room in my sketchbook. I could really use some new pencils, too.”

Sora and Rapunzel exchanged glances, and Sora grinned.

“Naminé, you should come to the castle,” Rapunzel said. “I’d love to show you some of my art supplies. Have you ever tried painting before?”

Naminé shook her head. “No, I haven’t, but I’d love to. Thank you for the invitation.”

“What are we waiting for? Let’s go now!” Sora sat up and sprang to his feet. 

The three of them spent the rest of the afternoon trying out Rapunzel’s art supplies. Well, more like Rapunzel showed Naminé her things and let her try them out while Sora kept typing away at his Gummiphone. Naminé giggled at how he still typed with one finger, like a bird pecking at grains of rice. 

“There we go,” he said all of a sudden, then put his phone in his pocket. “What’d I miss?”

Naminé and Rapunzel both giggled and showed him what they’d made: a painting to hang on the walls of Naminé’s room in Twilight Town. It was of the beautiful woods where they’d had the picnic with dandelions flower petals floating through the air. As soon as she got home, she put it up and gave it a satisfied nod.

The days flew by until at last it was the anniversary of her rebirth. There was a knock on the door late in the afternoon, and when she went to get it, she was surprised to see Riku and Roxas waiting there for her.

“Hey Naminé,” Roxas greeted with a grin. His eyes were playful, like he had a big secret he couldn’t wait to share.

“Come with us, there’s something we’d like to show you,” Riku added, and she ducked back inside to grab a few things before following them through the woods and to the Old Mansion. 

“Why are we here?” she asked. 

“You’ll see,” was all Roxas and Riku said, and she followed them inside. She was shocked by how nice the entrance looked, like someone had been in here and cleaned things up—

“Surprise!”

She gasped as she entered the foyer. A huge banner hanging from the stairs read Happy Birthday Naminé, and all her friends were gathered around a large table in the center of the room. The evening light shone through the window behind them, pink and purple and blue, another gorgeous twilight on this world she called home now. 

“Happy Birthday Naminé!” her friends all cheered, and she couldn’t help the smile that spread across her face. So this was what they had been plotting and planning all this time. Roxas grinned and grabbed a camera to take a few shots, and Sora and Riku had some of those confetti poppers that they popped with loud crackling noises.  

The seashell decorations were yellow and the star candles were blue on the cake Xion held. Axel lit the candles, and they cast flickering lights and shadows over everyone’s faces.

Kairi leaned close and murmured, “Make a wish, but keep it secret.”

“A secret?” Naminé asked, tilting her head.

“It won’t come true if you tell us,” Ven explained, and Terra nodded. 

As Naminé looked at the faces of her friends, what she should wish for became clear. She knew, deep in her heart, what she wanted more than anything.

With that, she blew out the candles, and everyone cheered loudly. Aqua swept the cake out of Xion’s hands so she could cut it properly, and then everyone sat around the table. The cake was delicious, vanilla and lemon, and after everyone was done eating, it was time for Naminé to open her presents. 

“Here!” Sora said, his eyes shining as he handed her the first one. “It’s from all of us.”

Naminé’s hands shook as she removed the wrapping paper. She wasn’t used to getting gifts, and it took her some time to free the box. But once she did, she couldn’t have stopped the smile on her face even if she’d wanted to.

“They’re like the paints Rapunzel has! And in all the colors I like too.” She hugged the box to her chest. “Oh, thank you so much everyone, I can’t wait to use these.” 

When she was finished unwrapping the rest of her presents, more art supplies and nice jewelry and cute clothes, she thanked her friends for making this such a wonderful birthday night. But there was one last thing that would make it truly perfect.

“If you wouldn’t mind,” Naminé said, “let’s make a painting together. So we have something to help us remember tonight.”

Naminé loved drawing on her own, but drawing with her friends was truly wonderful. Everyone brought their own unique spark to the table. And when the painting was finished, it was one huge flowing mosaic of color and life and creativity. Sure, it wasn’t a masterpiece, but it was something truly unique that only they could have made. And that was why it was a work of art. Not because it was perfect or technically skilled, but because it had their hearts poured into it.

Naminé couldn’t have asked for a better way to commemorate her birthday.  

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A/N: Thank you so much to the mods for making this project possible and for being so caring and supportive! And thank you to the other contributors, this zine was such a joy and I enjoyed talking to you all. A big thank you too to Somnium for drawing the banner! I really enjoyed working with you!

And thank you for reading!

[shihalyfie]

Menoa Bellucci, and her relation to Adventure and 02′s antagonists

I mentioned in an earlier meta that Kizuna has a particularly deep relationship to 02 on a thematic level, with a lot of that being because its primary antagonist, Menoa, has heavy parallels to its two main antagonists (the Digimon Kaiser and Oikawa Yukio). I felt like I should make another post talking about Menoa in particular, and how the themes of both Adventure and 02 relate to her.

Do note that naturally, this will contain heavy spoilers for the movie (although I guess I’ve technically already spoiled it in this post’s premise...).

Before we begin, I’m going to start off with...well, look, I don’t really like starting off with what’s probably going to sound like an indictment, but I’m pretty sure so much of the potential audience for this post is going to be thinking about it that I inevitably need to address it. It’s the part where a lot of people have generally accused Menoa of being a rehash of tri.’s Himekawa Maki. Honestly, I don’t blame anyone for jumping to that connection, because of how similar the surface details are -- she’s a young woman who was a Chosen Child, who lost her partner and did morally questionable things as a result. That, and tri. was only a few years ago, so Himekawa is still recent in memory, and it’s logical to think that maybe the most recent work would be pulling from the second most recent work.

...But that’s also exactly where the similarities stop. Beyond that surface level, there’s not much connection on a thematic level. Mainly: after losing her partner, Himekawa’s main goal was to get said partner back, even if it meant dismantling the same Digital World she’d been originally meant to protect -- she was willing to destroy everything for the sake of that goal (i.e. she was knowingly acting selfishly). Not only that, she’s not even the primary antagonist, because the whole thing ties into her being used as a pawn by Yggdrasil -- so we’re not even sure how much agency she had in this entire arrangement. Meanwhile, Menoa’s motives were definitely very based on her desire to get said partner back, but the whole point was that she thought it was impossible -- she’d certainly tried, but because nothing was bearing fruit, she determined that the only thing she could do would be to prevent everyone else from going through the same thing. So in other words, she was convinced her actions were actually selfless, and her failure in getting her partner back was what motivated her -- all based on her own personal choices and motivations, directed entirely by her. Other than the backstory part being somewhat similar, the way they react to it is completely different.

If Menoa is meant to be relevant to Himekawa, then that can only really be said in the sense that Menoa is a response to and deconstruction of the plot point Himekawa introduced. This is especially because part of Kizuna’s creation involved being a direct response to tri.’s inadequate portrayal of Digimon partnerships, which, unfortunately, Himekawa is...kind of a major symptom of -- we’re never given any serious depiction on what emotional connection Himekawa and her partner had, we’re only supposed to glean this by projecting the old Adventure/02 definition and depiction of partnerships, and everything else we learn about Himekawa’s desperation is after the fact. And...well, I’ll be honest, it’s still kind of hard to even rationalize how Himekawa’s “character arc” makes much sense (especially the part where we’re supposed to figure out how she apparently studied the reboot since university but had no contingency plan for Bakumon not remembering her, to the point where this apparently drove her completely insane...?). So as a result, she’s just killed off unceremoniously, because there’s no real natural conclusion to this arc, nor any underlying logic as to what relationship Himekawa and Bakumon supposedly had.

So it is true that Menoa starts off with a similar base concept, but because Kizuna is dedicated to “defining what it means to have a partner”, it takes a proper step-by-step approach: firstly, what did Morphomon actually mean to Menoa? We’re given tons and tons of depictions of how Morphomon was integrated into her daily life, and was her closest confidant for years. What exactly does it mean to lose a partner? The depictions and descriptions in Kizuna don’t hold back at all; Menoa even says that it feels “like a part of your body has been ripped away”. What is a Digimon partner in the first place, and what does it mean to have one or to not have one? In line with Adventure/02′s portrayal of Digimon partners, a Digimon is portrayed as a part of the inner self whose presence or absence depends on the human’s state of mind, which means that getting a partner back also depends on said human -- and thus, even Menoa is provided an opportunity for salvation at the end, because everyone has the potential to grow again. In that sense, it’s hard to really call Menoa a parallel or a rehash, when, if anything, it’s more like she’s taking that concept and readjusting it to what it should have been more like when under the original Adventure/02 concept of partnerships.

Anyway...

Back to Adventure and 02. On its face, Kizuna does seem to have more pertinence to 02 than it does Adventure when it comes to themes -- after all, Kizuna styles itself as something that’s supposed to be relatable and personal to the modern millennial adult, meaning that it focuses moreso on human drama and introspection more so than it does Digital World and Digimon mechanics. In doing so, it was probably inevitable that it aligns itself more with 02 (which was significantly more about human drama and interpersonal relationships than it was Adventure’s Digital World and Digimon lore) by default.

Still, there is a lot of pertinence in the sense that Adventure was always intended to be “a story of humanity’s evolution” -- recalling that the 02 epilogue was actually the originally intended ending for Adventure, and the result of “everyone in the world having a Digimon partner” being the “evolution” of humanity by having a visible form of their own soul -- and thus, the core of each enemy in Adventure was tied to it in some form. This is made especially clear in the third Adventure novel:

At the beginning of the world, when the Digital world was still in chaos, the Digital world chose the idea of “evolution.” By deciding that this process would involve the Digital world itself “evolving,” it created Homeostasis for that necessity...

...Apocalymon must have sent its thoughts through the “Wall of Fire” into the Digital world. It planted the idea into the Dark Masters’ minds to unconsciously reject “evolution.” The Dark Masters’ plan would permanently destroy the function of the Village of Beginnings. It was possible that, to the very end, they had been unaware of it. In other words, the construction of Spiral Mountain took “evolution” away from the Digital World.

When the kids finally meet Apocalymon in the penultimate episode of Adventure, he has the following complaints:

Apocalymon: We are the Digimon who have disappeared through the evolution process...The resultant build-up of thoughts that have cursed our sad and hateful fates! Sora: You were created from the dark hearts of the Digimon who disappeared? Apocalymon: Dear Chosen Children and your dear Digimon. We have been looking forward to meeting all of you. ... Apocalymon: Listen. While we lay buried under a deep darkness of utter coldness and sorrow, you were on the other side, enjoying yourselves and laughing happily in the warm light. WHY?! ... Apocalymon: What have we done to deserve this?! (tears at self) Why must we weep tears of grief while you enjoy cheerful laughter? Mimi: No, I don't want to see this! Apocalymon: We, too, have tears that flow from our eyes and feelings that flow from our hearts. Just who decided that we were to be deprived of this world and consigned to oblivion?! We wanted to live! We wanted to live and speak of friendship, justice, and love! We wanted to use this body to be helpful to this world! Are you saying that this world has no need for us? That we are meaningless?! ... Apocalymon: Then we shall rule this world! We shall make this place belong to us. All who get in our way will die! (laughs) May the light be forever cursed where it shines!

(Translation by Ryuu-Rogue.)

So, basically, Apocalymon is a “Legion” sort of Digimon, made up of the condensed regrets of Digimon who were unable to evolve, and lived so much in despair that they decided they would drag everyone else down with them, and reform the world into their own. So in other words, his main goal to “inhibit evolution” was in the sense of inhibiting the Digital World’s own evolution and development, while it was growing alongside the human world -- all of this villainous “destroying the world” and “taking over the world” is all tied to a root of “inhibiting evolution”. And this was all intended to be tied into 02 as well, along with even the theoretical third Adventure series that never happened -- an ongoing fight for humanity and the Digital World’s right to continue “evolving” against forces that were trying to block it.

How does this relate to Menoa?

“Evolution” in the context of Adventure and 02 has a lot of meanings, and of course one of the most prominent ones is in terms of the metaphor of “evolution = human growth and potential”. Kizuna brings it to the forefront in terms of explicitly saying that Digimon growth is tied to human potential, but that’s always been there from the beginning -- especially considering how high-level evolution is powered by human virtues, like Crests.

But by trapping everyone in Neverland, Menoa is keeping people from “evolving” -- not just the Digimon from evolving, but humans from gaining any growth or potential, because they’ll be fixated in their childhood memories forever. The namesake of Neverland, the original Peter Pan, was very much about how staying a child forever would involve always being immature -- Peter was not a heroic figure in the end, as he was someone who was ultimately callous and irresponsible, at times even self-serving. No one will grow as people. Everyone will stay locked in the same mentality forever. The Digimon will never evolve. Robbed of Chosen Children to help protect the world, both the human world and Digital World will be left defenseless, and perhaps even be destroyed -- and that would be the end of “evolution” for all.

All because of Menoa’s own grief and projection.

Moving back to 02, this is of course where the parallels start getting really explicit. As I mentioned earlier, Menoa is effectively a combination of 02′s two most prominent antagonists -- the Digimon Kaiser, Ichijouji Ken, who was pressured into being recognized as a “genius” by society and lost a grip on his true self as a result, and Oikawa Yukio, who was cut off from the Digital World in childhood and spent his adulthood trying to grasp at shallow symbols of his past, projecting on others in the process.

Actually, let’s go over these characters in their stages of antagonism!

The Digimon Kaiser:

Was recognized by society as a “genius” and paraded around for those abilities; mentioned to be intelligent enough to skip grades into university (was only prevented from doing so like Menoa did because he lived in Japan, which didn’t have a system for this)

Tried to smash out the aspects of himself that didn’t fit the image he was aiming for, throwing away the “kindness” in his heart under the idea it was “weakness”, trying to become “better than others”

Started pushing away his own Digimon partner in the process, symbolizing a rejection of his own inner self

Ultimately, never got to have a proper childhood of having the freedom to do “meaningless things”, because he and his brother Osamu were “demanded to grow up fast”

Young Menoa:

Was recognized by society as a “genius” to the point she felt isolated from her peers, to the point she decided to skip grades into university because she felt like it would get her recognition and allow her to be productive to society

Stopped engaging in childhood hobbies (e.g. the swing she used to play with Morphomon at) and is implied to have pushed others away in her bid to be independent

Wasn’t even talking to Morphomon much anymore by the time of their separation, because she’d prioritized her studies in order to skip grades

Ultimately turned herself into an “adult” at the age of 14, far too young for anyone to become an adult

The surface details are a little different -- because Ken’s troubles manifested in a way that made him more “consciously reject” Wormmon rather than outright neglect him, and because his reaction to being “demanded to grow up fast” ultimately involved him trying to ditch everything into the Digital World instead of trying to become more mature, he was spared from the fate of having an outright partnership dissolution with Wormmon at the tender age of eleven. (Although he did still have a pretty traumatizing “loss” of Wormmon, so it’s not like he got off scot-free -- especially when getting said partner back involved a necessary epiphany about choosing to face what he did and moving forward with the consequences, something Menoa did not do during the events of the movie.) Either way, though, he managed to snap himself out of it and prevent himself from taking the same path Menoa did -- especially since the two of them are based off the same real-life origin story, the 9-year-old American boy whom Seki Hiromi read about in a newspaper, who skipped grades into Columbia University, causing her to conclude that he’d be unable to make friends his age.

Since Menoa ends up taking a different path and going “all the way”, once Morphomon is taken from her, she veers onto a path very similar to Oikawa’s.

Oikawa Yukio:

Was torn away from contact with the Digital World (and his future partner) by a well-meaning Hida Chikara, worried about him and Hiroki getting into “foolish talk”

Was isolated from the only friend he could relate to (via Hida Hiroki’s death)

Tried to make his own Digimon, implied to at least partially be inspired by trying to fill the void (see 02 episode 47), but only manages to create minions who do his bidding

Kidnapped a bunch of children under the premise that he was just giving them what they wanted; implanted Dark Seeds into them that on the surface gave them what they wanted but actually ate at their feelings

Blamed the fact he was a “tainted adult” for his inability to go to the Digital World without more forcible methods

Menoa:

Lost her partner after discarding her childhood hobbies in order to fit society’s standard of adulthood

Developed an obsession with becoming “independent”; ended up likely having no friends to connect with (states during the climax in Neverland that nobody understands how she feels)

Tried to use “scientific” computer methods to bring back her partner, but only managed to get hordes of soulless husks to do her bidding

Kidnapped a bunch of people (eventually including literal children) under the premise that she would be saving everyone; forced them to experience eternal loops of their childhood memories that prevented them from moving forward

Blamed the fact she’d “made that choice” and become an adult for her loss of her partner

Oikawa didn’t “lose” his partner in the sense of something permanent-sounding like Morphomon, but in terms of thematic parallels, Menoa basically ends up throwing herself into his path after continuing in the direction Ken ultimately chose to tear himself away from.

Ultimately, there are still differences in execution and life circumstances between all three characters -- and that’s how it ought to be, given that it would be inappropriate for Kizuna to be a complete rehash of 02. But considering that 02 was heavily built on the themes of “not drowning in regret and learning to move forward” and “embracing the inner child and not caving to societal expectations”, it makes sense that Kizuna, which is built on “not drowning in nostalgia and learning to face the future” and “not losing touch with childhood memories and experiences nor the childish self to the pressures of becoming an adult”, the parallels between the main antagonists driving the story are going to be very similar.

Although, given the events of Kizuna and how they played out...one wonders if Ken has any idea how lucky he is...

[aestheticseungmean]

Hi can you write a one-shot with 20,64 and 97 ? Thanks and have a nice day

short skirts, emo bands, and maids, oh my!- Jeon Jungkook

Synopsis- You like Yuta, Jungkook loves you, and Yuta loves anime and nothing else. What does it take for Jungkook to make you see that?

4029 words

Warnings: Unconsentual kiss but both parties enjoy it and cussing

Fluff and a bit of angst

A/N: Sorry for taking so long. I really struggled to get motivated to write with everything else going on around me. Also, this was supposed to be Yuta’s story but it drifted into a Jungkook story instead.

⚠️PLEASE NOTICE⚠️: I wanted to leave you guys with one last thing before I went on break. I am officially announcing my hiatus from for a few months. I’ll still be on here reading and liking things but I won’t write.

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“Did you know your skirt is below your fingertips?” You rolled your eyes at your best friend Jungkook. “Thank you, Captain obvious.” He gave you his signature bunny smile, scrunching up his nose in amusement. “The skirt is short on purpose.” “Who are you trying to impress? Yuta?” You stared at your outfit in the mirror which consisted of a black skirt, a pastel pink shirt, fishnet tights, and your favorite pair of converse which were also pink. To say that you thought you looked good was an understatement. You were feeling yourself in this outfit. You felt cute yet sexy. “As a matter of fact, I like this outfit for me, but it may be a tiny bit for Yuta,” you confessed. Jungkook laughed and played with the hem of the blanket on your bed, waiting for you.

Yuta was your crush. He was also your neighbour whom you saw everyday on your way to work. You often waved towards him only to receive a quick glance and nothing more. Occasionally, you’d see him in the game store you worked at, checking out the new selections of games, manga, and animes. Each time, you were too shy to do more than just wave or squeak out a meek ‘hi’. And more often than not, he just ignored you and went about his search, leaving you sighing to yourself and stocking some more Pop Funko figurines. Maybe he just thought you and Jungkook were an item like everyone else did, or maybe he just didn’t want to be friends with you. Either way, at one point you might have well given up. But, you being the simp you are, you didn’t. You kept on trying to be his friend and maybe even more.

“Are you ready? I want to go to this cafe that Jimin told me about. Said it was the best place he ever went.” You were skeptical about anything Jimin suggests, because last time you went to the movie theatre with Jungkook and ended up watching 50 Shades Darker. It probably would’ve been better if you had seen the previous movie, but nevertheless it wasn’t something to watch with your best friend. “I don’t trust Jimin,” you grumbled out, picking up your backpack and keys. “Let’s go before I change my mind. I’m letting you know now that you’re paying.” Jungkook threw up his hands and nodded, following you out to your beat up car. “You have to get this thing replaced.” The passenger door screamed as he opened it. “The store isn’t getting good business so my paycheck has been cut.” You sighed softly as the car started up finally. You really did need a new car, but this is what you can afford right now.

The brightly colored sign to the cafe put you in awe. It could draw one in from a mile away. The inside of the cafe on the other hand made you want to strangle Jimin. Other than the cute, kawaii decorations, you were not impressed with the girls dressed up as maids, serving mainly business men. “Hello!” A young, cheerful girl gracefully made her way to you two while managing to grab two menus and avoiding at least six floating trays. “I’m Sora and I’ll be your server! Just two today?” Jungkook nodded. “Right this way!” How this girl could be so cheery was beyond you, but somehow it did make the experience a little better. You sat down in a pink booth across from Jungkook and ordered drinks. “Here you go. Just wave or ring the bell if you need me. I’ll be back to collect your order in a few.” She clamoured away to get your drinks.

“A maid cafe? Seriously? He’s such a perv.” “I find this kind of fun,” Jungkook smirked, not taking his eyes off of your annoyed face. “Shut up, Jeon.” An older woman casually made her way over to your table, pulling up a chair. “I noticed that you looked annoyed. Are my ladies doing alright?” “Yes ma’am,” you squeaked out, feeling a bit under pressure. “Good. Good. Is this your boyfriend?” You shook your head. “He’s my best friend.” She nodded as she comprehended what you said. “I noticed your outfit is very fitting for you.” “Look, ma’am, may I ask what you are doing?” You weren’t trying to be rude, but it was weird to have a stranger come up to you and inquire about your life. “Come work for me. We need more people like you. The pay starts at $15 an hour and your lunch today is on the house. Here is my business card, call me with your answer.”

The lady slid her business card towards you and returned the chair to the other table before walking off. “I feel like I’m dealing drugs.” “I think it would be cute. I’d come visit you everyday if you worked here,” Jungkook teased, “and I’m sure Jimin would love to see you work here. You know he’s a bitch for people in maid outfits.” You kicked his shin under the table and pocketed the business card. Things will have to get really bad before you subject yourself to this line of work. “Over my dead body,” you huffed, grabbing at the drink the waitress brought earlier. Jungkook, however, grabbed the drink from you and took a sip out of the straw before you could. “Hey-“ you protested but he cut you off. “Ahh. Pepsi?” “Yeah but-“ He smiled and winked. “I know you so well.” “Only because I order that every time I go someplace with Pepsi products.”

The food was exceptional even though you tried to hate it. The service was a 13/10 and you appreciated the way the waitress actually waited until you were done chewing before coming over to check on you. Outside, Jungkook laughed and jumped to the car. “That was fun! We should do it again!” “No, you were checking out our waitress half the time,” you grumbled. “Did you notice she had puppy ears?” In fact, you didn’t notice anything except the short skirts. “No?” “Yeah! Every waitress and waiter in there wears a pair of animal ears. I think I’d rock the bunny ones.” You chuckled and got into the car, Jungkook following suit. “Honestly, if you worked there…so many girls would flock to eat at the cafe and it would become world famous.” “So you’re saying I’m hot, eh?” He wiggled his eyebrows playfully, making you smack him. “Of course you’re hot. I’d be stupid not to see it, but you are my best friend.”

You knew you had hit a nerve when his smile faltered a bit. “Did you know scientifically, 83% of couples consider their partner their best friend?” “No, I didn’t. I do now.” Jungkook sighed and sat back into his seat and watched you start the car. Once back at the apartment complex, you and Jungkook walked in silence to the elevators. The doors were closing when you heard a quick, “Hold the doors!” You watched as a familiar black haired boy ran into the elevators breathless. “Are you okay, Yuta?” He nodded and checked his watch as if he was in a rush. “Do you have an important meeting or something?” “What’s it to you?” Your eyes widened as Jungkook began to tense up, something he does before he gets ready to fight. Instinctively, your arms pushed Jungkook back against the wall. “It’s not our business, Jungkook.” As much as you wished to know, you couldn’t because as you said, it’s not your business. You pulled Jungkook closer to you on the opposite side of the elevator from where Yuta was standing.

The shoddy elevator shook and groaned before coming to a stop somewhere between the seventh and eighth floor. Yuta growled and checked his phone. “He’s going to kill me,” he muttered to himself. “Attention! Is there anyone in the elevators, if yes please press the call button and let us know.” Jungkook pressed the call button and soon enough you found out that you were stuck for at least three hours. You scrolled through your phone to check for any news. “It seems the entire city has lost power.” “I guess you’re stuck with me!” Jungkook teased. You slid down the wall carelessly and leaned against the wood panel. “Don’t seem so sad. At least you’re stuck with me.” “Can you guys quit flirting all the damn time?” Yuta’s voice echoed a bit in the small space. “What’s your problem, dude?” Jungkook stepped forward. “My problem is that I’m stuck here, late for band practice, and you two sound so cringy. If y’all are going to fuck, wait until we get off.”

“What is your band?” “Riot of the Dark,” he sighed, sitting down. You tugged Jungkook’s hand and gave him a look that said ‘sit down’. “Riot of the Dark? The lead guitarist is Han Jisung right?” “Yeah. How did you know?” You smiled thinking back to your times with the boy. “Jisung is my favourite cousin. In fact, if I’m correct, the leader is Woosung.” Yuta nodded once again. “You seem to know my band pretty well,” he complimented, making you blush. “I like your music.” “I lIkE yOuR mUsIc,” Jungkook mocked. “WHAT THE HELL IS YOUR PROBLEM JUNGKOOK?” “My problem? What’s my problem?” His dark eyes glared at you taking you by surprise. He was never like this. “My problem is you!” You felt a pang in your heart as you held back the tears welling up in your eyes. “M-Me?” “Yes, you! You have your head so far up in the clouds dreaming about Yuta that you can’t see the one person in front of you who likes you. You are so damn oblivious and it hurts the ones around you.” Blood rushed to your cheeks as you felt Yuta’s eyes on you. Jungkook had exposed your crush in front of your crush. You hid yourself in your sweatshirt and silently cried, hating your best friend.

“That was cold.” “SHUT THE FUCK UP!” Rage filled Jungkook at his stupid mistake. Now you probably hated him and there was nothing he could say or do about it. “_______, I’m sorry.” You looked up at him with wet cheeks. “Fuck you,” you spat out. Luckily, the elevator started to move hours before it was said to be running meaning you could get home faster. The doors creaked open and you pushed through the mess of people waiting for the elevator to get to the apartment you call home. You left the door unlocked because as much as you hated Jungkook at the moment, you knew he couldn’t go home just yet, so you locked yourself in your bedroom. Knock. Knock. Knock. You knew at some point, he was going to knock on the door and you’d inevitably open it because it was Jungkook, but you didn’t think it would be so soon. “Go away.” “We need to talk,” he pleaded through the door. “What’s there to talk about? You ruined my crush on Yuta, because now I can never see him face to face again or I might spontaneously combust in anxiety.”

You heard a small laugh through the door. “You won’t spontaneously combust. I’m sorry, you know.” A soft sigh fell from your lips. “I know.” “Will you let me in?” You opened the door and watched as he fell in. “A warning would’ve been nice, but I deserved that.” “Yes you did,” you huffed, biting back a few words, but he noticed it. “You want to say something. I know you do,” he coaxed. “Are you hurt?” A small smile appeared on his face as he realized that not all hope is lost. “A little bruise but it will heal.” “Where?” Jungkook pointed to his head where the bruise was. You flicked it before pulling his head down and giving it a kiss. “ There. I’m still mad though.” He cooed at your little pout and hugged you. “Am I still your friend?” You looked up at him and nodded. Even though he had embarrassed you, the bond runs way deeper than a crush did. “Can you smile for me?” “No.” He giggled cutely and sat down on the swivel chair by your desk. “I’m going to do it,” you stated out of nowhere. “Do what?” “I’m going to confess to Yuta tomorrow!” Jungkook’s face fell and he scowled at the ground.

————————————————

Maybe you were feeling confident or maybe you were led by the determination to right a wrong. Either way, you were standing outside of Yuta’s apartment door, knocking. He opened the door in his emo-like glory and surprisingly, you smiled. “Do you need something? I’m busy practicing.” “I wanted to come over here and explain what happened yesterday.” You paused for a minute, regaining your words, “I like you, Yuta. I’ve been harbouring a crush on you for months now and I wanted to get it off of my chest.” He stared at you silently, and all of a sudden a wave of anxiety hit you. To control yourself from bursting, you picked at the sides of your thumbnails, picking at the skin, most likely causing them to bleed. “I don’t like you. I’m not really interested in getting to know you and I’m not looking for a friend let alone a relationship. If that’s all you wanted to say then I need to go,” Yuta spoke bluntly. “I have one more thing,” you forced out, trying to keep a steady voice. “Have a good life.” With that, you walked away calmly to your apartment where Jungkook was waiting.

“So?” Jungkook asked, feeling somewhat curious. “He rejected me, but oddly enough I’m okay. I’m not sad. I’m not mad. I’m not happy. I’m just okay.” “Is that good?” You nodded, but you were in a hazy state of mind. Like a fog was clouding your thoughts. “I’m going to go home to do some work at my neighbour’s house.” “Okay.” He gave you a quick hug and walked out of your apartment and towards his home. You, on the hand, took a shower to clear your thoughts and then sat on your bed, staring at the wall, trying to find your thoughts. Why didn’t you care that Yuta turned you down? And why did you feel relieved when he rejected you? Your mind turned to Jungkook, and no matter how hard you tried you couldn't stop the memories of him appearing in your head. Somewhere in your confused state, the cafe materialised and then you pieced it all together. You didn’t have a crush on Yuta. He was just something to distract you from Jungkook. Something realistic and not so far fetched, but when your friend told you he loved you, you felt that Jungkook was the realistic thing. That maybe that was a part of your life that you could be happy with.

You locked the door behind you and took off towards the direction of Jungkook’s house. The steps of your running feet echoed through the semi empty streets as you drew closer and closer. The grey door offered you comfort as you knocked. It opened to a confused Jungkook. “_______?” “It wasn’t Yuta,” you said in between breaths. “It never was. It was a fantasy that grew in my head to block the real thing. You.” “You’re not making any sense.” You took a deep breath and kissed him. Happily, he kissed you back, knowing that you reciprocate his feelings. “I understand now,” he smiled. “I’m glad you do.” The two of you stood in the doorway just hugging and whispering confessions in each other’s ear. “I need to go do something, but I’ll come back tomorrow, okay?” “Okay.” Jungkook gave you one last kiss and watched you walk away. He didn’t notice you take a left instead of a right at the end of the block towards your new destination. One that will have a big effect on your life and maybe even better it.

The door of the café jingled as you walked in. “I’m sorry, we’re closed.” The girl looked up at you and smiled. “Oh, our boss told us about you. Follow me.” You followed her to the back where the old woman waited. “I hoped you’d come. Are you here for an interview?” “Yes, ma’am.” She nodded and proceeded to ask random questions for a few minutes. “You’re hired! Give me a second to get your uniform.” The old woman stood up and opened the door. “Areum! Please bring me a uniform for our new employee.” You heard a ‘Yes, Ma’am’ and the girl grabbed a uniform, bringing it to you. “Here you go. Let’s make sure it fits before you leave.” Areum showed you to the bathroom and you tried it on. To your surprise, it fit you perfectly. “It fits,” you said to her. “I knew it would. My fashion major never fails me.” You thanked her and the boss and went home with your schedule in hand.

The next day, you got into your car and headed to your new job at the cafe. “There you are!” The old woman sauntered over towards you. “If you don’t mind, I’d like to get changed in the back.” “I don’t mind. Please go see Yuna for your headband before we open up.” You nodded and went to go change. As told to do, you went to find Yuna. With the help of Sora and Areum, you found her. “Here for your headband?” Yuna asked. “Yes I am,” you say while nodding. She handed you teddy bear ears and you sighed, putting them on. “You can put your clothes and stuff in this locker.” You thanked her and checked your phone one last time to see Jimin saying he was taking Jungkook to the cafe and that you weren’t invited because you were a “Debby Downer”. You laughed at the irony and put the phone away before heading out to start seating and serving. “Sora!” “Yes?” She turned towards you smiling. “You remember the guy I was with when I came here before?” Sora nodded. “Can you seat him in my section?” “Sure thing!”

You headed off to start serving the other tables in your sections, working gracefully thanks to your many cousins that used to live with you. Then you heard the bell chime again and Jimin’s cute laugh you tease him about. “Right this way please.” They followed her to your section and sat down in their seat. “Check out the legs on that one,” you heard Jimin whisper. In the corner of your eye, you saw Jimin point at your legs from behind and Jungkook looked awkwardly. You moved to the other person who needed a quick refill before coming up behind Jimin. “If you ever comment on my legs again sir, we will have a problem,” you spoke in your most passive aggressive customer service voice. “_-___?” He stuttered out. Jungkook’s eyes widened as he realised it was you. “What can I get you handsome guys today?” You recited from memory what was to be said. Handsome guys and beautiful ladies. “I’ll have a sprite,” Jimin spoke, not taking his eyes off of you.

“I’ll have a water please.” You jotted down their drinks and recited the well known ‘I’ll be back’ before prepping their drinks. Once you returned, you grabbed your order pad and asked their order. “I would like the number two with onion rings instead of fries.” You nodded and turned towards Jungkook. “And you?” “I’d like the number four with a side of you for desert.” Jimin laughed but you didn’t find it that humorous as you were now blushing and glaring at Jungkook. “Stop glaring, princess. I know you want me.” A small scoff came from your lips. “Shut up.” “You know I’m right,” he said cockily. “I’ll put your order in now,” you hissed through gritted teeth. As you were walking away, you heard the small conversation Jimin and Jungkook had. “Are you guys dating?” “I hope so. They kissed me yesterday and said that they liked me.” You could feel the smile Jimin was giving Jungkook. “Congrats man! I know you’ve been chasing after them and getting friendzoned for a while now.” “I think my heart combusted when they kissed me.” You giggled at his cheesiness and gave the order to the chef.

Your shift went by quickly and you found it was fun. Jimin left a twenty dollar tip while Jungkook wrote a little note on the napkin. Meet me at the gym when you get off of work. You smiled and tucked it into your pocket while throwing the other inappropriate notes in the trash. It felt weird putting your sweatpants back on since the past ten hours were spent wearing a fluffy skirt. The walk to the gym was short and you embraced the squeaky door happily because behind it was Jungkook. He was punching at the punching bag hanging from the steel beam. Sweat dripped from his hair and onto his shirt sticking to his skin. When he saw you, he stopped his attack and gave you a bunny smile before reaching out to hug you. You on the other hand, ducked under his hug not wanting to get all sweaty. “Nope. Not doing it.” He pouted. “Can I at least have a kiss?” “Fine.” Jungkook moved closer to give you a kiss but pulled you into a hug and pecked your lips. “JEON!” You screeched as you felt the sweat drip onto you. “I have a clean shirt in my bag,” he said as he released you and threw you his extra shirt. “How am I supposed to change now?” “Bathrooms.”

You came out in the new shirt and a washed face. “I hate you.” “No you don’t,” he chuckled. “You’re right.” Jungkook resumed his workout while you watched in amazement. “So, I overheard you today.” “What do you mean?” The conversation from the cafe replayed in your head. “Is it true that your heart almost “combusted” when I kissed you?” He stopped for a minute. “Yeah, it did.” A small coo left your lips. “Awww, so cute!” Jungkook smiled and grabbed his towel, wiping away his sweat. “Let’s go to yours?” He suggested. “Sure.” The two of you walked home, hand in hand, talking and laughing. Once inside the apartment you forced him to take a shower to clean up. He washed up quickly to be able to spend more time with you, but you jumped in the shower. You came back to Jungkook staring off into space, muttering angrily. “Why are you angry?” “Because I’m trying to find ways to love you more,” Jungkook replied. You raised an eyebrow, feeling confused, but you sat down and began to brush out his hair. “You deserve all the love in the world and I’m trying to think of different ways to show you.”

“You’re silly, Jungkook.” You ruffled his almost dry hair and kissed his head. “You treat me like the baby when I’m older than you.” “You enjoy it though.” He huffed and crossed his arms. “Stop making valid points.” “How about no,” you yawned out. “Are you tired?” “Of course I am. It’s almost 10.” His head turned toward the clock. “Let’s go to sleep.” He laid down on the other side of your bed and allowed you to cuddle up to him. “Thank you for taking me back even after I rejected you,” you apologized. “My grandma used to tell me that if you love someone, you can either wait or move on but your decisions will affect you, so choose wisely. I chose to wait, not that it took you long to come back to me.” “I suppressed those feelings because I felt that you were out of my league.” Jungkook laughed. “You're not out of my league, I’m out of yours.” “Lies. It’s all lies.” You looked up and kissed him one last time before falling asleep. A few hours later, smiling cheesily, he fell asleep with you in his arms.

[thepriceofbeingaroseisloneliness]

DIE PERSONAL INTERVIEW SPECIAL HEADBANG VOL.27 TRANSLATION 1/2

Sometimes delicate, sometimes rough, sometimes you are dazzled by his splendid playing. The red guitarist has reached Dir en grey’s unique mark . “Surprisingly, I like the rough feeling of those times. It felt like each member was strangely not trying to coordinate with the others. It seems like every member was playing with that rough feeling while just focusing on each’s one position. I remember quite a bit the atmosphere around 2005.”

Notes before reading:  This is the first part of personal interview of Die from the magazine Headbang Vol.27 released on 18th August.  The interview is 11 pages long, this part covers the first 6 pages. As Toshiya’s interview, 2nd part is focused in his roots as a guitarist and overseas experience. This interview is hella long so expect second part in a week or so. You can read the second part here You can get the magazine at Amazon Japan or CDJapan. Feel free to correct me if you spot any mistake or any confusing parts. Links or credits to this post when the content is reposted or captured in other SNS is appreciated :) -----

“These concentration of feelings…. I wonder if this has become one of our distinctive characteristics. That’s why it wasn’t like ‘let’s try some different ways about how it can be listened’.  I think the current Dir en grey is in a middle point. Ah, I wonder if this is our distinctive mark  I was working on it while thinking if this uniqueness is a method that can’t be imitated anywhere else” Text by:  Yohsuke Hayakawa Next appearance is a guitarist who pulls the string of his vivid red-coloured instruments, Die! In ‘Ochita koto no aru sora’, he has certainly established himself. Also, in an interview focused on 2005, focusing around the same time they released the single ‘Clever Sleazoid’, he confesses his honest thoughts of those days when they were putting their eyes at overseas as the band was going through a transitional period. It became a really interesting text.

In addition, from domestic artist such as D’ERLANGER which are the flesh and bones of Die, up to the ‘Family Values Tour’ organized by KORN, which became a battle ground, this interview must be read in full, along with the second half theme interview in which several problems appeared

“Feeling the same than the fans, I wanted to see it as a situation that we don’t know what’s coming’

-I have the impression that Dir en grey has been so close to their fans over the last few months. After all, in this unprecedented situation, as they are people looking for themselves, was there a moment that you thought that there was something you could do even if it seemed impossible to be until then? Die: Well, that’s true. I feel like I've been doing specials things and things that I haven't done before. Like the live without audience (’The world you live in’, a live without audience in March). All the members were looking at strange places while playing. As there were no fans there and then all the same staff members were doing the same lighting and production as usual, I was wondering how it would feel when the live started.  It would be strange to say that there was a response, but I feel we were able to play in a good atmosphere. As a result, I think I had a very good experience. -After that, in May, there was a Youtube broadcast with setlist planned by the members (DIR EN GREY AUDIO LIVE STREAM 5DAYS) and you personally appeared in the chat. D: The chat was actually quite hectic (laughs) -Hahaha. In addition, there was also a broadcast of a talk with a relaxed atmosphere where you could see the real face of the members (DIR EN GREY LIVE ARCHIVE & SPECIAL TALK). At those, I felt the love for your fans. D: Well, that’s right. However, even if the AUDIO LIVE STREAM was done for fans, we also enjoyed it. The setlist of the other members were sent in advance to me but I didn't look at them. As I wanted to see it with the same feeling as the fans, not knowing what was coming. Enjoying them, mine was on the 3rd night and until then, I was watching the flow of the fan chat and I it looked amazing. I thought ‘I want to join as well in the chorus part’ (laughs) So I decided to participate at the part of the chorus in real time. However, the pace of the chat was too fast, and the timing didn't match at all (laughs) That’s why that part felt very much like a live. When it finished, I felt like time flew so fast. -There was a rare feeling about discovering each member’s setlist. I enjoyed the 5 days. Apart from you, there were people talking on SNS from different positions and I think there were many people who were going through difficult situations, so it was a good project to make everyone feel closer to each other. D: That's right. Then, one to two weeks later, the members themselves appeared on the screen. Well, if it weren't for this situation, I probably wouldn't have done it. But if you are going to do it…. it’s a strange way to say it, but it's wasn’t the usual DIR image, but bit more relaxed. Because we said we wanted to create an atmosphere that made that fans happy.) I did (my appearance) it with Toshiya…. -Yes. It was quite a shocking time (laughs). D: Hahaha. Toshiya said that if we did the talk as always, it wouldn’t be exciting for the fans. That’s why we caught up and  drank a little bit in advance, so we raised our spirits by ourselves. I think we have the desire of fans enjoying this part of the talks too. -Well, the good atmosphere that you both created was cool. D: Well, when you are thinking about what you can do to make it better, you are kind of wondering what it's going to be like.  The live with no audience, the ”AUDIO LIVE STREAM’, there was also the members talk…. But it's not something you can do so many times. It’s just doing what we can do now. -Indeed. I don’t even know if the proper answer to the current situation would be to keep doing lives without audience. D: I did the live without audience once, but once I did it, I felt like I couldn't do them properly in the same circumstances even if I did them twice or three times again. -After all, there is a feeling of tension and challenge unique when you do it for the first time. D: That's right. Like, “How is going to be?”, I can only do it with that sense of tension. “I was like, ‘what’s is this space (venue)? I feel like I was inside of a dream” -Also, I remember your words in the members talk, you said "I feel like the days when I was playing lives are an illusion”. D: Ah, yes yes. -A heated up crowded show is no longer realistic for you? D: That’s right.  At that moment, I couldn’t see the future at all. If I thought that we couldn’t do anything in the future (lives) I wondered what that  space (venue) will  become. I think I feel like I was in a dream. After all, if you have too much time, you will end up imagining various scenarios. Good and bad. -For sure.  So, while the tour went from being postponed to cancelled, the Pia Arena MM performances 'The insulated World- The Screams of Alienation', that marked the end, remained as a possibility until the last moment to finally being cancelled as well. I think that was a tough decision. D: It really was. It would have been the fans and the band just meeting…...It's a bit strange to say, but if that were all was about, we could have done it. But we couldn’t do our live. Naturally, we could have changed the arena tickets and the standing that were being sold as seating tickets, also, you needed to leave an empty seat between people at that time. And after all,  if you have to be ventilating all the time, you won’t be able to use things like smoke, or  certain things on the stage. If we have gone through that, Dir en grey may have been the first band in the world to perform a concert like that, which would had made us the reference for other bands for the future… At that point,we were wondering if it would be best to be the first ones to do it but, after all, our live couldn’t be materialized as we wanted so as we couldn’t do it, we decided to cancel. It was  also the closure of 'The insulated world' (2018), so it wouldn’t be finally closed. It's nice to have a live performance, but in the place where we were going to show the culmination of what we've been touring for the past 1-2 years, even though we did those lives performances, there wouldn’t be any special production due to Corona. -It would have been simply like a fact, “we did them because we had to”. D: That's right. We felt like we were going to get catch up with out activities for the future. It was a tough decision. We really wanted to do something in order to be able to do the performances and we were looking for a way to do them, so the announcement of cancelation was made at very last minute.  During days, we were going from the phase of “Yes, we can do it” to “No, we can’t” during the whole day. -You have just transmitted that sense of tension here, the feeling of going against the timing….When the tickets were about to be on general say, you cancelled the performances. D: Yes, it happened around that point. It’s hard to imagine playing a live with social distance due to the current situation. We have been active until now, and we have been watching the crowded audience all the time. I don’t think otherwise it would be a Dir en grey’s live, spaced apart and with everyone not being able to say a word (shouting/cheering). If we had to do it in such conditions, I don’t think it's necessary to do the performances. “Oh, is this our distinctive mark? I wonder if this uniqueness is something that can’t be imitated anywhere else”

-Meanwhile, the new single "Ochita koto no aru Sora" was completed. While it’s filled with  DIR EN GREY essence, such as a heavy riffs, a fierce chorus, and a  catchy melody,  I felt that you made this  song made with a strong feeling of scepticism/caution. D: I see. If you put aside the last song 10-minute song 'The World of Mercy', it’s a song that seems to be following the flow of “Utafumi” and “Ningen wo kaburu”. It seems  they are following a pattern as songs that we release as singles. I wonder if that’s possible to be done. There is no guitar solo. -It's a song quite solid overall. D:  That’s right.  The  (guitar) phrase is changing little by little due to the composition the riffs, but it feels like I’m aggressively pushing the riffs all the time. It’s like adding nuances that change the scene so clearly. -It's like  a seamlessly connected melody flowing. D: Yeah. The atmosphere flows as it is, but I wonder if the details will change in the future. I wonder if this feeling of scepticism/caution you mentioned is one of our unique traits. That's why I didn't feel like trying to make it sound different. I think this style is the middle point of the current DIR EN GREY. The feeling of this uniqueness that we have created is the most suitable for us. - So, you just let it out without trying to knead it strangely. D: That’s right. If you think about it in various ways, you can develop it more and make it more attractive, but I want to go with a pattern that runs through the core without any strange element. However, it is surprisingly difficult to make such a thing. After all, it's easier as a pattern to make a development in the middle of the song. After all, it’s difficult to create a high point in a song like it is floating on air. -Ah, I see. If the atmosphere of the back is modulated in a completely different form, it’s easier to get that you did the song with the intention of making a high point. D: It's kind of easy to do that way, isn't it? However, instead of going like that, it’s 3 minutes and 20 seconds of a song with consist mostly of one consistent riff. However, when  I played the guitar in the recording, actually it was quite dizzying. Even if the riff repeated, it may not be exactly always following the same pattern, so it is always thrilling. - Certainly, the pattern of riff changes in the first half and the second half. D: Oh yes. I wonder if this our distinctive mark. I wonder if this uniqueness is a method that can’t be imitated anywhere else -So, do you think that that aspect is established as a tacit understanding between the members? D: Yes, I wonder if it became like this naturally. There were quite a few developments but in the process of pre-production, I went to the direction of scraping off and scraping off the guitar (*An effect created by scraping the pick along the strings of an electric guitar). I don't overdub (*a technique used in audio recording where a passage has been pre-recorded, and then during replay, another part is recorded to go along with the original) as much as I used to.  After all, in the old days, I was relieved to do it in that way but, that’s not how you are going to play it live (laughs). It's quite courageous not to do it. If it's a recording, you can record several layers of sound, but since you only play live the original, how can you compete with what sounds there? And this time, I could hardly take a break while working at home as I couldn’t barely get out of my house. - So, due to this unusual event going on, the schedule changed significantly. D: That’s right. I think we will be aware of this later. It feels like “Oh we did this single under these circumstances” or “at the time of this single, we were under a lockdown”, things like that. - By the way, this time the chorus… isn’t the pattern a bit difficult to do while playing live? D: No, it comes in at a good timing. Kyo has thought about the chorus with the flow of the song. If you think about the all the set of instruments will be played live at some point, it’s easier to get focused in the moment when the sound is rising up but when it's in the riff or in the back timing, It's almost impossible (laughs) If you are playing at this speed.  As usual, when we were going to record the chorus, the lyrics were given to us for the first time. As it is in English, the timing is quite difficult. “Each member was strangely trying to not to assemble with each other. I like the rough feeling of those days” -I feel like that chorus is very DIR EN GREY once again. Also, about the remake of 'Clever Sleazoid'. The lyrics have changed to Japanese, but the impression of the song is that it’s relatively faithful to the original. D: Yes. In terms of backing, we haven't changed it much from the original one, and we just raised the tempo a little. Also, it's a moment in which we re-recorded it with our own sound. And when it comes to guitars, it's more like the two guitars are playing closer together. The the original song was released around 2005, at that time, each of us were playing with our own sense of timing. Every of us were disconnected from the others, but there was a feeling of everything coming. But now, I wonder we did it with a pattern that fits tightly in unison. -You just mentioned it but, what do you think is the biggest difference between Dir en grey in 2005 and Dir en grey today? D: Well…..Really, 2005 was a transitional period for the band, or a time when we were looking for a little change. Everything was trembling, in a good an in a bad way as well. It was such a time like that. Personally speaking, it's better now……it's bad that I say this, but it was like “am I playing guitar properly?” kind of. -Hahaha. Really? was it like that? D: Yes. But surprisingly, I like the rough feelings at that time. It feels like each member wasn’t trying to get connected with each other strangely, and it feels like everyone was playing it while only caring about their position. I remember the atmosphere of 2005 quite a bit. -In 2005, Dir en grey participated in the Japan leg of the  tour  'Taste of Chaos', and I remember the festival on the studio coast. D:, Ah yes yes. Thinking about it now, wasn’t it rare? -I agree. Besides you, there was Killswitch Engage.... D: Also, The used, STORY OF THE YEAR, Funeral For A Friend, etc. -Yes. That band (Killswitch) was  really exciting. D: Yes. we used to get together at festivals with Killswitch Engage at that time. I also did two-man in France.

-So, as you said, I feel that Dir en grey at that time was in a rough and emotionless moment.

D: Yes, it was like that. Even if I was standing on the stage, it was more about how could I raise my own mood/tension rather than doing it for the fans who came to see us, so if I was in a bad mood, I would stay in a bad mood. But well, at that time, we were playing with that kind of mood/atmosphere: if you don’t like this, then you shouldn’t come to see us.

-If it’s a festival focused on overseas bands like ‘Taste of chaos’, as some people in the audience didn’t know Dir en grey, did that that feeling of irritation come to the forefront?

D: Rather than……at that time, I knew about other bands only by name, but honestly, I was wondering “What the hell is everyone clapping for?”. It looked more like buttering up the audience. It was like “Ah, this is so shallow”. But there are a quite things that I can reflect on now. There were times when I wasn’t kind to the fans.

-That was also reflected on the changes of your music style?

D: That’s it. Back then, it was all about playing guitar. I thought it was pointless if I didn’t shake the guitar off all the way. That’s why I barely listen to the sound of the other members when we were playing live. Things like, matching the rhythm of the drums. This was something that the staff would sometimes point out to me. “Listen to what the others are playing, keep the rhythm more”, things like that.

-At that time, when they told you that, what did you say?

D: I said “Oh, yes” and I tried to do what I was asked to do, but once the live started I was like “Waa, let’s go” (laughs) It was good and bad, isn’t it?

(2nd part here)