#they remind me of the good in the world every day

[mrgoldmc26]

IU's Contract Renewal

Tags: Gangbang, blowbang, spitroasting, airtight, betrayal, bondage, piss play, humiliation, degradation and more...

Word Count: 9.2k

The following is a Fan Fiction and should be treated as such.

With just a little bit over six months remaining on her current contract, today was a big day for IU. It was a quiet Sunday morning, the kind that made the world feel slower, emptier.

After arriving at EDAM Entertainment's building, she stepped out of the car, flanked by her lawyer and bodyguard as they made their way toward the elevator—the familiar routine of a contract renewal settling in her mind.

She thought this would just be another simple contract renewal, but little did she know, it was going to be far from it.

Over the past few weeks, she had asked Bae Jong-han, her manager of fifteen years and also CEO of EDAM Entertainment, for details about the renewal. Usually, he was transparent, walking her through every clause and adjustment. But this time, he had been uncharacteristically vague, offering nothing but polite reassurances.

When she got to the place where the meeting was set to take place, it was empty. It was an office she had been in countless times before. It was spacious, with a large, oval wooden table dominating the center of the room, its polished surface reflecting the soft glow of the overhead lighting. At the far end, directly opposite the entrance, a TV hung on the wall, its black screen blank and unassuming for now. Just beneath it, a wall-mounted safe was embedded into the wall, its digital keypad and sturdy steel door a silent guardian of the valuables that were stored inside. To the right, a door led to a small private bathroom, a convenience she had used more times than she could count during long discussions.

IU exhaled softly, placing her bag on one of the chairs before turning to her lawyer and bodyguard.

"I'm going to do a quick makeup check." She said, making her way to the small bathroom.

Inside, she stood before the mirror, adjusting a stray strand of hair before carefully inspecting her makeup. Everything was in place, but the habit had become second nature—one final check before any important meeting. As she smoothed out the edge of her lipstick, a faint noise came from outside, signaling more people had arrived. Without wasting any more time, she hurried to finish up and stepped out of the bathroom, returning to the office.

Upon her return, she saw none other than Bae Jong-han, the man who had guided her career from the very beginning, standing with the same composed expression he always wore in these contract renewals. Beside him stood EDAM's lawyer, a man in his forties with sharp, observant eyes, and several board members seated at the table, waiting in silence. Near the double doors, on opposite sides, stood two bodyguards—EDAM's on the left, a tall, strong black guy, and IU’s on the right. Both remained still, their presence a silent yet heavy reminder of the power struggle unfolding in the room.

A warm smile broke across IU's face as she approached her longtime friend and manager.

"Jong-han oppa." IU said, as she, without hesitation, wrapped her arms around him in a brief but sincere hug, feeling the familiarity of fifteen years of trust.

"Good to see you, Jieun. Are you ready to get started?"

"I'm not sure. You always tell me details ahead of contract renewals, but this time you didn't say anything."

"Well, there are some changes we want to implement, and I didn't want to address them in private."

"Very well. Let's get started." He said, as he made his way to the TV and turned it on to begin a PowerPoint presentation. IU sat down next to her lawyer, with EDAM's lawyer sitting in front of them.

"Before we go over the contract in detail, I want to give you a brief overview. It's largely the same as before, but we've made some adjustments, particularly on the musical side of things."

"But before we get into that, let's talk about Jieun's acting career very briefly."

"The board is extremely pleased with the results. IU has proven herself as a top-tier actress, and the numbers reflect that. We want her to continue pursuing acting, since it’s a valuable part of her brand, and it's by far what earns us the most money."

IU gave a small nod, a quiet sense of pride settling in. Acting had always been something she cared about, and hearing it acknowledged so positively, even in business terms, felt validating.

"Now, onto the music."

"As you all know, our primary goal over the past few years has been to solidify IU as the top female soloist in Korea."

"I believe we've done a pretty good job with that up until recently. However, there are some new threats."

"Our main threats are these four ladies." He added, showing a picture of each Blackpink member.

"They are obviously the most popular female K-Pop idols in the world, and ever since they have started doing solo activities, their popularity has only gotten bigger. Also, if we add up all of their solo songs, and compare them to their group songs, their solo discography is now bigger than their group discography."

"Because of that, the rest of the company and I believe that IU is no longer the most popular soloist in Korea."

The words stung, and despite her best efforts to remain composed, a flicker of disappointment crossed IU's face. She shifted slightly in her seat, fingers brushing over the fabric of her skirt as if grounding herself. It wasn’t the first time she’d heard something like this in a business meeting, but that didn’t make it any easier. She had dedicated years to reaching the top, and hearing that her position was slipping, even from a strictly analytical standpoint, left an uneasy feeling settling in her chest.

"Now, that wasn't our only goal. We also believed that it was possible to fight against those K-Pop groups, but that has turned out to be a total failure."

"We are still not bigger than the most popular 3rd gen girl groups, like Blackpink, Twice and Red Velvet. And now, not only we have been overtaken by almost all the biggest 4th gen girl groups, but also by some of the 5th gen girl groups. This cannot happen! It's unacceptable!"

"These groups are known all around the world, but you...Jieun...you are only known in Korea, and we need to change that."

"Your songs are just not good enough." He added, as IU's disappointment only grew more apparent, the words hitting her like a stab to the chest.

"But do not fear...I've got a solution."

"Jieun...you might not like this, but...the company and I believe you should change your concept, and approach a more main stream vibe."

"We believe that you should try a Pop-Rock concept. It's very popular in the West."

"What? No! That would be selling my soul to the devil. I will not do it. I don't care about numbers, or views. I care about my fans and what is real to me."

"I was afraid you would say that, but I got another solution..."

"How about we change the way you dress?"

"I don't wanna bring them up again, but Blackpink has been wearing less and less clothes lately, and it seems to be working. Also, girls like Wonyoung have been showing up a whole lot more skin lately, and it's been driving everyone insane."

"Bae Jong-han...are you serious right now? How could you? This has to be a joke, right?"

"We are not joking. The industry has changed, and we need change...we need YOU to change. Our numbers are horrible right now, and we need to do something about it."

"I can't believe you would suggest those things...change my concept and dress like a slut? No chance."

"Jieun...you have no other options. We got the final saying."

"No, I refuse to believe that. I'm not signing anything right now. We'll see you next week." She said, a tear running down her face as she rushed out of the office, followed by her bodyguard and her lawyer.

IU was furious, sad and disappointed. She couldn't believe her CEO, but most importantly her manager and long time friend would suggest those things. IU knew the numbers were bad, and she wanted to do everything in her power to fix them, but not by compromising her values.

She spent the next week locked in her apartment with her lawyer, reading the new proposed contract and going over her current contract to try and find something she could use to make her way out of it. After going through both contracts a thousand times, her lawyer told her there was no way out.

IU couldn't believe it, and she refused to accept her fate. She called her manager over and over again, begging him, pleading with him to change the contract, but he wasn't having it. Desperation turned to anger, and she finally snapped, firing him right then and there over the phone, her voice sharp and unwavering. Yet his reaction was as indifferent as ever, unbothered and almost amused, as if he had expected this all along.

By the time Sunday arrived, IU had barely slept the night before. No matter how many times she went over the possibilities, they all led back to the same cold, hard truth—there was no easy way out. Still, she refused to let them win.

Around 11 AM, she arrived at the building, her bodyguard walking beside her in silence, whilst her lawyer carried a folder filled with notes from the past week. Last time, she had stepped through these doors feeling hopeful, even relaxed, trusting that they would find a solution. Now, that hope was gone. Her chest was tight, her jaw clenched, and every step felt heavier than the last. There was no more room for wishful thinking. Just quiet, unwavering determination to protect her image and the creative freedom she had spent years fighting for.

As they entered the conference room, IU immediately saw that something was different. Last time, she had been the first to arrive, left waiting while they made her stew in uncertainty, but this time around, they were already there. However, unlike before, the rest of the board members were nowhere to be seen.

Bae Jong-han sat comfortably at the head of the table, with his lawyer beside him and his own bodyguard standing near the door. There was no act of concern this time around. Just a smug expression as he leaned back in his chair, watching her like he had already won.

"Where are the others?"

"Not here. They are not coming."

IU didn’t waste time with greetings. No handshakes, no pleasantries. She simply set her bag down, took her seat, and folded her hands in front of her, meeting his gaze without an ounce of hesitation.

"So, Jieun...are you ready to sign?"

"IU. My name is IU." She said, stopping him from using her real name.

"And no. I refuse to sign the contract."

"What's your plan, then?...IU?..."

"I'm going to run down my contract, and I'll find another company."

"Good luck with that." He said, chuckling at IU's words.

"Tell me, IU...what company do you think is going to take you? Who's going to sign a 31 year-old who's past her prime? Someone who can't compete in streams or views against today's idols?" He said, leaning forward and resting his elbows on the table.

"You're irrelevant now, IU. It's not 2017 anymore...you're no longer the industry's golden girl. You don't have the numbers, you don't have the youth, and most importantly, you don't have the power."

"So tell me, who's going to waste their money on you?"

"Let me answer that for you...NOBODY!!!"

"YOU need us just as much as we need you!" He said, slamming his fist on the table.

With IU being the sole artist under EDAM's wing, she was their only real source of revenue. However, from their perspective, her music career wasn’t keeping up with the rapidly changing K-pop landscape. Compared to today’s idols, her Spotify monthly listeners lagged behind, her music videos didn’t rack up views as quickly, and international streaming numbers weren’t what they could be. The company saw a clear solution. If IU abandoned her creative freedom and let them take control, they could reshape her image, Westernize her sound, and push her into the mainstream global market. They knew the potential was there, and if she just played along, the profits could be astronomical.

"What happened? Where is this side coming from?" She asked.

"You were supposed to be my best friend, my manager, my emotional support, and all of a sudden, you've turned into this corporate monster." IU added, her eyes starting to tear up.

"The industry has changed, IU, and so has EDAM."

"We have to adapt, or we'll die, and I won't let us die." He said, his tone sounding like your typical day-to-day CEO of a company, obsessed with numbers, power and control.

"What about us, what about the friendship we had for the past FIFTEEN years?"

"IU...I'm just doing what's best for business. I hope you can understand."

The room went silent for the next couple of minutes, neither side wanting to back down from their positions. From IU's side, it was a matter of protecting her values and her brand. On EDAM's side, it was a matter of optimizing IU, and turning her into the biggest money-making machine as possible.

IU knew he was right. There was no way any company was going to sign her, not at her age. Starting from scratch was a no-go either. She was rich, but not that filthy rich, to create a company from nothing, especially now without her manager.

"Jieun...listen..."

"Don't...don't you dare call me that."

"How important is this for you? To stay true to your roots and to keep your identity as a K-Pop idol?"

"Everything. It...it means everything to me."

"Very well..." He said, reaching into his briefcase and pulling out yet another contract.

"I was hoping it wouldn't come to this, but..."

"The rest of the board members and I discussed another possibility. One that would allow you to do whatever you wanted, without any pressure from us." He added, tossing the contract onto the large wooden oval table.

"What's the catch?"

He didn't answer right away. Instead, he took his time walking around the table, stopping beside her. Slowly, deliberately, he reached out and tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear.

"You see...there's something I've wanted from you for a very long time."

"Do I need to say it, or do you know where this is going?" He added, with a sickening grin spread across his face.

"I...I know where this going..." IU responded, her heart practically shattering into a million pieces, and her body feeling disgusted at the thought.

She had heard the stories...so many of them. Trainees who had their dreams dangled in front of them like bait, only to be forced into submission behind closed doors. Idols, some of whom had come to her in confidence, broken and ashamed, whispering about the things they had endured to secure a debut, a comeback, a single opportunity to further their careers and achieve their dreams in an industry that never played fair.

It had scorched her for years, haunted her in ways she never spoke about. Because she knew the truth...she knew it firsthand. Because once, a long time ago, when she was just a girl fighting for a place in this world, it happened to her. And now, after all these years, after everything she had built, everything she had overcome, it was happening again.

She thought those days were long gone. Never in a million years she thought she'd have to go through it again, especially this late into her music career, but she was wrong. It turned out that the industry hadn't changed. It had always been the same, and no matter how much time passed, there was nothing people could do to stop the monsters that lurked within it.

"Is this really the only way?"

"Yes...that is what the board wants. They want to see you, in ALL your glory." He said, moving behind her and rubbing his hands on her nude, cold shoulders.

"But they're not here."

"But the camera is." He said, pointing at the camera on the corner of the ceiling.

"If you agree, I'll press a button, and they'll be able to watch and listen to EVERYTHING that happens here."

"So that's it? I just need to suck your cock, and I'm free forever?"

"Oh, no. Hell no. No, no, no, IU. You're going to have to do a whole lot more than that."

"The board wants to see you used and humiliated. They want to see you get taken by everyone in this room."

IU's stomach churned, and a wave of nausea rose up inside her. This was not the path she ever wanted to take. IU knew she had other options. She had a way out of this, and yet, somehow, this was still her best option.

"And that is all? If I give you my body, you promise that you will leave my creative freedom alone?"

"If you do this and accept it, you are allowed to do whatever you want with your career from now on. We will never push you to do something you don't want. You will have full control."

Everything that the CEO said beforehand stung like a thousand needles, but that last line was the light at the end of the tunnel. What IU had always wanted. What she thought she had and was suddenly taken away from her for just some more money, at the cost of creative control. She could have it once again, and forever this time. All she had to do was let them have their way with her, and record everything.

"So...do we have a deal?"

"If this is what it takes...then yes. Take me." She said, surrendering her body to him. The CEO's grin only grew bigger, and he didn't hesitate pressing the button and turning on the camera, making sure the red light was on, so that the rest of the board could watch what was about to go down.

"Jieun, are you sure about this?" Her lawyer said.

"Yes. I w-want this...I...I need this."

Before IU could say any more words, she felt a pair of hands grab her neck and push over onto the table. It was the company's black bodyguard, just following orders from his boss. IU's own bodyguard stepped up to protect her, but IU intervened.

"No. Let him."

"Are you sure, miss Lee?"

"Yes...this needs to happen. It's for my future."

Her lawyer and bodyguard watched as IU got put on her knees and got surrounded by the three other men, all eager for her touch and attention.

"C'mon Jieun...take out our cocks and start sucking." He said, loosening the tie around his neck and removing his suit jacket.

"I told you to not call me that. You've lost that privilege." She said, resentment flickering across her face as she dropped his pants and took out his cock.

To her surprise, it was much bigger than she had expected—far larger than any of her past boyfriends. Not that she would ever admit it. She would rather let him fuck her than give him the satisfaction of hearing her say it.

"I can call you whatever the fuck I want. I've waited for this for more than ten years. Ten fucking years, praying that one day you'd turn to me and ask me to fuck you senseless, and here I am, finally getting what I want."

"WHAT I DESERVE!!!" He shouted, stomping his foot on the table.

"Are you going to let me suck your cock or what?! I can't fucking do it if you keep complaining and moving around like a corporate little BITCH." She shouted back, showing the real anger and resentment she was feeling.

"Uhhh, feisty...I like that. Fifteen years together, and this is the first time I've seen this side of you."

Her former manager stayed still, and IU parted her lips. Her mouth had barely opened before it was stuffed with cock. It was hot and throbbing, and she felt his hand tighten around her hair.

"Fuck...I've wanted this for so long."

He gave a satisfied moan and pushed her head deeper, her throat stretching to accommodate his thickness. IU struggled to breathe, her nose pressing against his pubes and the smell of musk invading her nostrils, and the problem was, it was not an unpleasant one.

IU couldn't explain it, but the way his cock stretched her lips and got harder in her mouth, the musky scent filling her senses, and the salty taste of his pre-cum on her tongue sent an unexpected shiver through her body. Despite the anger and frustration burning inside her, she couldn't ignore the way her body responded to it. She could feel her panties getting wetter with each thrust of his hips, and the sight of her own drool trickling down her chin was making her pussy ache with need.

She'd never imagined herself in this position, but there was no denying that it felt good. So good, that despite her best efforts, she couldn't hold back the soft moan that escaped her lips as he buried his cock deep inside her throat.

Around her, the other two men dropped their pants to reveal their hard cocks. The lawyer's dick had some decent size to it, but IU's eyes were all over the bodyguards massive black cock. She reached out to grab both of them and stroked them slowly.

"Look at you, doing things so willingly. I didn't have to ask you."

IU ignored him and instead remained focused on the task at hand. Her tongue lapped at the underside of his shaft, and her lips slid up and down his length, her saliva making it slick and easy to glide in and out. He threw his head back, lost in the pleasure of her mouth, and that's when he noticed her lawyer and her bodyguard still watching from the sidelines.

"Hey, you two. Come here. The company wants all of us to use this slut, and that includes both of you."

They looked at each other before looking at IU, as if asking for her permission. She nodded at them and continued sucking off her former manager. IU switched soon after, taking another dick into her mouth and stroking two more as she waited for her lawyer's and bodyguard's cocks.

Just like the company's bodyguard, hers was also packing, but that's something she already knew. When she was on tour, he was her form of stress relief after long shows. Truth be told, it had been a long time since IU had seen his huge dick, as she was on hiatus, due to her acting commitments.

As for her lawyer, he wasn't far behind. She had never seen him naked, and she was quite surprised by the length of his shaft. IU finally found herself surrounded by them and their big cocks. It had been months since the last time she had sex with anyone, so now, to be surrounded by five big dicks, her body couldn't help but respond.

IU needed her creative freedom, and her body needed this...badly!

Her CEO moved behind her, dropping to his knees and lifting her dress, exposing her perky tits. He started to squeeze and grope them, as IU kept switching from one cock to another, constantly trying to give each one an equal amount of attention.

IU's tight skirt was up next. He quickly pulled it down to her knees alongside her underwear, giving him an unobstructed view of her tight pussy and her plump ass. She had an amazing ass, round and juicy, and it looked even better when it was naked and on display. But as much as he liked IU's ass, her pussy had his full attention.

He put his hand between her legs and ran a finger along her slit, causing her to gasp and her entire body to shiver. IU's pussy was beyond soaked. She was dripping, and he could feel her wetness coating his fingers. He couldn't help but smirk at the knowledge that despite all her protests, IU was secretly enjoying this.

"Fucking slut. Look at this." He said, bringing his fingers up and showing them to her.

"You are enjoying this, I knew it."

IU looked at his fingers and couldn't help but smile around the cock in her mouth. She hated the way her body was betraying her, and yet, there was something incredibly arousing about being the center of attention and getting pleasured by five men at the same time.

He rubbed her clit a couple more times, and then plunged a finger deep inside her, pumping it in and out, causing her body to jerk and her moans to increase. Her pussy was tight and wet, and the sounds of his fingers moving inside her were intoxicating.

"Do you have nothing to say, Jieun?"

IU stopped bobbing her head around the cock in her mouth and let it drop from her lips, before tilting her head to the side and glancing over her shoulder at him, her eyes burning with lust and her chest rising and falling as she panted for air.

"Shut up and just fuck me already."

As soon as the words left her mouth, she felt his hands on her back, pushing her forward. IU used her hands to soften the impact, and she found herself on all fours, ass raised and exposed, her face hovering just inches from her bodyguard's cock.

"Do it...fuck my face. It's not like you haven't done it before."

"Are you sure, miss Lee?"

"Yes...make me gag on it."

IU could tell her bodyguard was still feeling a bit guilty, but his urges won over, and he grabbed a hold of her head. She felt him guide her towards his shaft, and she parted her lips to welcome it inside her warm and inviting mouth.

"Wait, what? You seriously let him fuck you before me?" Her former manager said, furious that she had let her own bodyguard have her before him, the man who had spent years supporting her.

"That's none of your fucking business." IU said, after pulling away from the dick in her mouth.

She grabbed his length and slapped it on her tongue a few times, before putting his cock back in her mouth.

"You are gonna pay for that, slut." The CEO said.

He didn't waste any time, immediately burying his face between her legs and running his tongue up her slit, lapping up her juices. It had been a long time since she'd had anything inside her pussy, so it was a shock when his tongue entered her and his fingers spread her folds open, sending sparks of pleasure throughout her body.

IU had no idea her pussy could be so sensitive, and her mind went fuzzy as he devoured her. The feeling of his lips and tongue working her clit was incredible, and the sensation of him sucking on her inner lips and flicking his tongue back and forth had her gasping and moaning.

A pool of IU's spit had formed underneath her head, as the lawyers and the bodyguards took turns fucking her face over and over again. She was a drooling mess for their big cocks, and she was having way too much fun taking their lengths down her throat. So much so, that she was caught off guard when her CEO's tongue slipped out of her pussy, only to be replaced by the tip of his cock.

The sensation of him pushing himself inside her, inch by inch, was something that she had almost forgotten what it felt like—to have a cock inside her pussy.

"So fucking tight...just like I thought it would be."

"Can't believe I finally get the chance to fuck the shit out of you."

He gripped her ass and began pounding into her, the sound of flesh hitting flesh filling the room. His thrusts were relentless, and IU found herself struggling to stay focused on the cocks in front of her, the feeling of her CEO's dick pounding into her, and the pleasure that was building deep within her was almost overwhelming, and she started moaning out loudly.

Her moans were muffled by the dick in her mouth, and her pussy tightened around her former manager's cock as she rocked her hips back and forth. Being spitroasted on top of the table and getting passed around like a slut was definitely not on her bingo card when she woke up that morning, but the truth was, she had never felt more alive.

Wanting to hear her moans, her former manager pulled her up by the hair, forcing her back to arch and her tits to bounce freely with each thrust. His hand slid around her waist, and he started playing with her clit, rubbing it and squeezing it between his fingers.

"Oh fuck, yesss. Right there, just like that." She said, throwing her head back in ecstasy.

"You love this, don't you? Admit it. You love getting fucked by five men at the same time." He whispered into her ear.

Whatever game IU was playing, of not wanting to admit it, was long gone—she had lost that game ages ago. There was no more point to keep denying, so she stopped fighting her body and mind. She decided to embrace her true desires, and just enjoy the moment.

"Mmmm hmmm...I love it. I love having five big cocks to play with."

"I want to feel all of your cocks inside me, please." She added, biting her fingernail.

"I knew it. You are nothing but a slut."

"A pathetic whore, standing up for yourself and your stupid creative freedom."

"You should let us fuck you and still let me control your career."

"Never! Just shut up and fuck me. Make me cum on your dick."

IU's wish was exactly what he wanted, so he gave her just that. He slammed his cock deeper inside her and increased the pace, the sound of skin slapping against skin echoing through the room.

The more he fucked her, the harder it was for her to focus on the cocks in her mouth, and she had to let them go, and rest her face on the wooden table, drooling uncontrollably as the CEO slammed into her pussy.

That didn't stop the men from finding an angle in which they could offer their throbbing cocks to IU, and she gladly took them in. Whenever she was slurping on a dick, the others were either stroking their shafts or they were slapping them hard cocks on her messy face.

Her orgasm was building, and she could feel it approaching fast. The sensation of being stuffed full, the feeling of his balls smacking against her clit, and the way he was massaging it had her on the edge of climaxing. She tried to fight it, tried to hold back for as long as she could, but her body betrayed her, and she exploded in ecstasy, her body trembling and her pussy clamping down on the CEO's cock inside her.

"Good fucking slut. I thought I would never see this day...the day you came on my cock." He said, pulling out of her and slapping her ass with all his might, making her jolt slightly and let out a muffled whimper around the cock currently stuffed down her throat.

"I need a fucking rest. You boys have fun with that dumb slut." He added, grabbing a water bottle from the refrigerator before sitting down on a chair.

Initially, they behaved like a pack of hyenas, fighting each other to see which one could fuck IU's pussy first, but after arguing in for a while, they came to the conclusion that there was no point in fighting since they were all going to take turns on her.

The company's men were up first, with the lawyer taking her from behind whilst IU slobbered all over the bodyguard's huge black dick. She wrapped her hand around the base of his length and stroked him, as she swirled her tongue around the tip of his cock, making him groan in pleasure.

"Fuckkkk, suck my black cock just like that, bitch. I'm going to fuck the shit out of that ass later on."

IU looked at him and gave him a dirty look, as if she was challenging him to do his worst. She was a bit scared, since it had been ages since the last time she had a cock up her ass, but she was also too far gone in the pleasure to want anything else. She couldn't wait to have his massive black cock stretching her asshole.

The two of them were not holding anything back. They were using her like a fuckdoll, slamming into her over and over, forcing her to gag and choke on the bodyguard's black dick, and making her tits bounce with every thrust. It was the most intense sexual experience she had ever had, and she couldn't get enough of it.

Eventually, they made way for IU's own personnel to use her. Unlike the company's men, they went much slower, taking their time to enjoy her body. They also knew the situation IU was in, only doing this to get what she wanted, so they decided to go easy on her. As much as IU wanted to be taken, she was never going to complain about a little "break".

Being his first time with IU, her lawyer was thrusting in faster than her bodyguard, unable to contain his excitement of finally fucking the most respected soloist in South Korea. Her bodyguard let IU do whatever she wanted to his long, hard cock, and fortunately for him, that was rapid deepthroats, with a little bit of ball sucking mixed in.

Whenever she wasn't impaling her head on his shaft, her hand was taking care of it, sliding up and down on it as her mouth concentrated on his balls, taking them both in her mouth and giving them the attention they deserved.

"Fuckkkk, I love this cock so fucking much."

"Damn...it's been ages since the last time we did this, Miss Lee."

"Don't tell me about it. I need to release an album and go on tour again, so I can have this cock every day, before and after the shows." She said, before going back to worship his massive shaft.

The four guys kept swapping between themselves as they kept spitroasting IU, and they couldn't help but wonder how she was able to take all their dicks over and over again, and still talk and moan as they fucked both of her holes. She was like a machine, never getting tired, no matter how much cock was stuffing her.

IU kept getting pounded and passed around like a slut nonstop, loving every single second of it. The taste of their pre-cum on her tongue and the feeling of their big, thick cocks sliding in and out of her mouth and pussy was intoxicating, and the knowledge that she was bringing these men pleasure with her body was extremely arousing.

"Looks like you're having fun, Jieun...taking cock after cock, huh?" The CEO pointed out, to which IU simply nodded her head the best she could, with her lips sealed tight around her lawyer's cock.

"I can't hear you...I wanna hear you say it."

IU let go of the dick in her mouth before she answered his question.

"I do. I love taking all of your cocks. I need moreeee!" She said, her eyes full lust.

"I'm so glad we are in agreement, Jieun." He said, letting out a laugh, before turning around and making his way to the wall-mounted safe.

At this point, IU no longer cared about him using her real name. All she wanted was to drain their cocks so that she could have the contract that she so badly desired.

"Remember this? So many reunions in this office...you always asked what's inside, and I never told you. You spent several minutes before and after each meeting, trying to crack the code without any success."

"Are you ready to find out what's inside?"

IU, naked and on her knees in the middle of table, with spit running down her chin, simply nodded her head, eager to finally know the contents of the safe.

Her former manager didn't keep her waiting for too long. He entered the passcode and turned the handle, causing the safe door to open. Once opened, he pulled the door fully open, and showed her the content.

From what IU could see, inside the safe there were stacks of money, a bunch of documents, and a gun. However, that wasn't what her CEO was looking for. He reached inside, searching through the contents until his fingers closed around something specific. When he pulled out a thick coil of rope, IU's breath caught in her throat. She knew exactly what was about to happen.

She had never been tied up during sex before, and the thought of being restrained and used entirely for their pleasure sent a shiver down her spine. It was both intriguing and terrifying.

As IU tried to process what was coming, the company's bodyguard suddenly moved her aside, taking her spot where she had been kneeling. He lay down on his back, broad and steady, before he turned to her.

"Come here, bitch."

She obeyed, settling on top of him, her back pressing against his chest. He adjusted her, pulling her higher until her shoulders rested on his, her head hanging back over his shoulder. As for IU's own bodyguard stepped between her legs, waiting for the CEO's next orders.

The CEO handed him the rope, while gripping IU's legs. At the same time, the company's lawyers took hold of her arms, forcing them against her legs.

"Tie her up like this."

Her bodyguard hesitated for a split second before nodding.

"I'm sorry, Miss Lee."

"It's okay. I want this. Trust me."

Even with her reassurance, guilt flickered across his face. He made sure to tie the knots just loose enough to keep her comfortable, but still tight enough to keep her restrained.

When he was finished, the others slowly let go, leaving IU bound and immobilized, her limbs tightly secured, with only the strength of her muscles and the rope keeping her restrained.

The CEO placed himself in front of her and started to stroke his hard cock inches away from her face, whilst he played with her tits with his other.

"Are you ready Jieun?"

"Yes. Shove those big dicks inside me and pump me full of cum."

"My holes are yours to use and play with."

There was no more hesitation in IU's. There was no hole of hers that was off limits. She was bound and helpless, completely at their mercy, and she loved it.

With a grin on his face, the CEO pressed the tip of his cock against her lips, and they parted instantly, welcoming his shaft inside. As her tongue ran along his length, he started thrusting in and out of her mouth.

As for the bodyguards, they each grabbed hold of their shafts and pressed them against IU's respective holes, before slowly sliding them inside her, one inch at a time. Even with a cock down her throat, a loud moan could still be heard, as she felt the sensation of her pussy and asshole being filled with their thick shafts.

They started off slowly, savoring the moment and letting IU adjust to having their big cocks inside her. With her legs tied and her hands secured, there was no way for her to move or to guide their pace, so she was completely at their mercy, forced to lay there and take whatever they had to offer.

After a couple of minutes, they picked up the pace, and unsurprisingly out of the two bodyguards, it was IU's who was fucking her slowest, taking his time with her and making sure she was comfortable.

As much as IU loved having her bodyguard treating her like a delicate flower, she wanted more. She needed him to fuck her pussy harder and make her scream. But she couldn't speak, not when her throat was currently filled with a huge cock.

Her former manager was giving her no quarter, pounding her throat hard. He was thrusting in and out of her, filling her mouth with his length, and causing her to choke and gag on his cock.

"Look at you, taking these cocks so well. I should've done this sooner." He said, putting one hand on her breast and pinching her nipple.

Her other nipple was not getting any less attention. The company's bodyguard had his hand wrapped around it and was twisting it hard, making IU gasp sharply before letting out a muffled moan. He had his other hand around her waist, holding her still as he fucked her tight asshole with his big black cock.

"You are such an anal slut, taking my black dick like that."

"I'm going to fuck it hard until I cum deep inside it."

"Gonna make sure you won't be able to walk for a whole week after I'm done with you."

These weren't just words being thrown around—he was dead serious. The guy was relentless, using her body however he wanted, thrusting in and out of her ass with authority and claiming her asshole for himself.

The two lawyers were the only ones left without a place to put their cocks, so they decided to join the CEO, kneeling next to IU's head so that they could slap their hard cocks across her face. They were enjoying the view in front of them, seeing an airtight bound IU being used like a whore.

IU had been double penetrated a handful of times before, but not with cocks as big as these. She could feel their lengths sliding in and out of her holes, filling her up and stretching her to new limits. It was an incredible feeling, one that had her moaning around the dick currently stuffed down her throat.

"Are you enjoying this Jieun?" The CEO asked, obviously not getting an answer.

"Don't you know it's rude not to reply?" He added, pulling his cock out of her mouth.

Before IU could respond, his cock was already back inside her mouth, hitting the back of her throat a couple of times, before pulling it out once more, this time to slap her in the face.

"Answer me, Jieun."

"Mmmm, I'm enjoying it...a lot." She replied, her voice barely audible.

She was completely cock drunk, unable to think or process anything besides the sensation of her holes being filled.

"How does it feel, slut? To have a big cock inside each and every single one of your holes?"

"Taking all of them at the same time? ANSWER ME!"

IU took her sweet time, trying to form a sentence in her mind. In her defense, it was kinda hard to come up with anything when she had two massive cocks in her holes, and another two constantly hitting her face, with another one just inches away from her lips.

"Good...it...it feels good. But I want more, though. I need more, please."

"What more can we give you? What the fuck?"

"Your cum. Don't stop using me until you drain those balls inside me."

"And please tell my bodyguard to go as hard as he can."

"Fuck...you are nothing but a dumb, cockhungry slut."

"You heard her, big fella. Go wild on that pussy and make her scream." He said, slapping IU's bodyguard on the shoulder.

IU's bodyguard shot the CEO a sharp glare, his expression making it clear he didn’t appreciate the slap on his shoulder, or being ordered around. But then his gaze dropped to IU, her body trembling, her muffled moans pleading for more. He exhaled sharply through his nose, holding back his displeasure. This wasn’t about the CEO. It was about her. Tightening his grip on her waist, he pushed his frustration aside and focused on giving IU exactly what she wanted—his big cock, deep inside her.

IU let out a sharp gasp as his hips started hammering into her. The sudden force took her by surprise, but the pain quickly morphed into pleasure. His cock was pounding her pussy with the kind of intensity she had never experienced before—not even with him. The noise of their bodies colliding echoed throughout the room, as he repeatedly thrust into her, holding nothing back.

The same thing could be said for CEO and his bodyguard. They were using her like a ragdoll, hammering away at her holes and fucking her brains out, showing her no mercy. IU's body belonged to them, and they were not going to stop until they had drained their balls inside her.

IU was an absolute mess. Her arms and legs ached from being tied up, a dull numbness creeping in as circulation slowed. Sweat coated her entire skin, making her body slick against the one beneath her. With her head hanging upside down, the rush of blood made her feel lightheaded, a dizzy haze settling over her senses. Her neck throbbed from the unnatural angle, but she barely registered the discomfort, too lost in the overwhelming sensations coursing through her body.

Her pussy and ass were sore, the sensation of her holes being stretched and filled to the brim was borderline unbearable. But at the same time, it was also an addictive feeling, and she couldn't get enough. She didn't care how sore she would be after this experience, all she wanted was to drain their balls dry.

Luckily for her, she didn't have to wait much longer. Her former manager's dick was starting to pulse, the signs that he was close. He had been using her mouth like his personal fleshlight for the past several minutes now, with IU having long lost the ability to lick and suck his shaft properly. The constant throat fucking had not only left her jaw was tired, but had also left her in a complete daze, and she had been reduced to nothing but a tool for him to fuck.

"Do you want my cum, Jieun?" He asked, pulling his cock out of her mouth.

IU tried to reply, but no sound came out. His dick had stolen almost all of her ability to speak, leaving her pretty much incapable of doing anything else besides moaning and groaning around his shaft.

"Well, I hope you're ready, cuz I'm about to fill your slutty little mouth."

He held her head in place and rammed his cock down her throat as fast as he could, hitting the back of it several times, before finally erupting. IU's eyes went wide and a muffled, gagging sound could be heard as she felt the hot spurts of his cum splashing inside her mouth and hitting the back of her throat.

After what seemed like ages, he finally pulled out of her mouth, and IU was left with no other choice but to swallow every last drop of his cum.

"Fuck...I've waited for this moment for longer than you can imagine..."

"Thank you for caring about such a worthless thing, Jieun." He added, getting off the table and stumbling towards a chair.

With the CEO now out of the picture, she thought her mouth would catch a break, but the lawyers had other ideas. Both of them were eager to have their dicks stuffed down any hole of hers, and with her mouth being the only one available, they shoved their cocks inside, forcing her to suck on their shafts at the same time.

It was one thing to have three cocks inside her, but to have four of them...it was something entirely different. It was too much for IU, and even with having an orgasm earlier on, it wasn't long until she reached another climax.

Her bodyguard felt her pussy walls tighten around his dick, her orgasm crashing into her like a tidal wave, and it was enough to push him over the edge. He had dumped his load inside her many times before, but this was different. He was always alone with her in those previous times, and now he was here, cumming inside her as she was being taken and used like a slut by everyone in the room.

IU barely had any time to process that her bodyguard had given her a creampie before she felt another thick load of cum being deposited inside her, this time in her round ass.

"I told you I was going to ruin you and make a mess out of your ass, bitch." He said, pulling his massive black cock out of her asshole.

She had no way to see the damage his big black cock had done, but judging from the feeling, she knew her asshole was gaping and stretched wide open. Her bodyguard had the perfect view, and even he was shocked by seeing IU's gaping asshole, and the cum dripping out of it.

With the bodyguards done with her holes, they decided to pull her to the side and untie her. As soon as they did so, IU's limbs came crashing down, and they were so numb that she barely had the strength to move them. She lay there motionless, her entire body aching and stinging, the ache settling deep into her bones.

However, that wasn't stopping her from having more. Despite everything, her desire was still burning, and she wanted more cocks, more cum, and most importantly, the contract.

"Cum...please..."

It was all she could say, and the lawyers didn't need more convincing. They moved IU and placed her on her knees, on top of the table. She was so out of it, that her head just kept falling forward, and her own lawyer had to grab it, or else they would just have to be pleased with covering her hair in their seed.

Neither of them wanted that, and neither did IU. Her face might've said otherwise, but she was eager to get their loads plastered all over her face, and they were excitedly stroking their shafts, getting ready to give her the facial of her life.

IU could barely see the outlines of the cocks that were now jerking off in front of her, but that didn't stop her from sticking out her tongue and opening her mouth wide, begging for their cum.

It was a matter of seconds before their cocks exploded at the same time, and she felt their warm cum being splattered across her face. They shot load after load of their cum all over her pretty face, covering it completely.

She looked unrecognizable. IU's hair was messy, her body was covered in sweat, and now her face was covered in multiple layers of cum, with most of it dripping down her chin. Her lawyer let go of her head, and she collapsed face first on the wooden table.

The CEO, already with his clothes back on, picked up the contract and signed it, before tossing it on the table once again.

"Hope it was worth it, Jieun."

"And don't forget to clean this mess." He added, instructing everyone to leave the room, including IU's men.

IU heard the sound of the doors being closed, and she was now alone in the room. After the intense experience she had just gone through, her brain was still struggling to process anything. Her head was spinning, and the taste of their cum was still present in her mouth, the scent lingering in her nostrils.

For the next fifteen minutes, IU didn’t move. She lay there, sprawled out on the table, her naked body sticky with sweat and cum, cooling rapidly in the empty room. The silence felt deafening, broken only by her slow, shallow breaths. A shiver ran down her spine as the cold air pricked at her damp skin, making her long for the warmth of a bath, the feeling of hot water washing away every trace of what had just happened.

Her thoughts were sluggish, drifting in and out, until the faint sound of the doors opening pulled her back. She could hear footsteps, but her vision was still blurry, and she couldn't make out who was walking into the room.

"You're still here? I thought you would have left by now." The CEO said.

"Don't mind me. Just using the bathroom. Gotta take a quick piss."

"No, s-stop..."

The CEO did stop in his tracks, not because of what she said, but mostly because he couldn't hear what was coming out of her mouth, her voice so low that it was barely audible.

"Use me...use me as your personal toilet."

He couldn't believe it. IU already had the contract and here she was, still asking for more, her mind undoubtedly broken beyond repair from the experience.

The CEO didn't waste any time, unzipping his pants and pulling his cock out. With one hand on his dick and the other on the back of her head, he lowered his cock towards her face, and let go. His warm piss started spraying out, covering IU's face, and then slowly running down her forehead and onto her eyes and nose.

Wanting to humiliate even further, he stood up and started pissing all over her naked body, coating it in his piss. Her skin turned golden under the yellow stream, his hot piss splashing down her tits and stomach. It was the ultimate humiliation, the final degradation.

IU didn't know what had come over her, but the idea of being used and degraded by this man, who was once her best friend, was so incredibly hot.

"You really are no different from all the other sluts in this industry."

He spat on her face and zipped up his pants. He took one last look at IU, laying there motionless, her naked body soaked in sweat, cum and his piss.

"What a fucking whore."

He walked away, and once again, the doors were shut, leaving her alone. There was no light at the end of the tunnel for IU. She had no idea how she was going to get herself out of this, but right now, she couldn't even bring herself to think about it. She was exhausted, her limbs felt like lead and her muscles were on fire. Her body was aching and begging for relief.

As IU lay there, a single tear rolled down her cheek. She was overwhelmed, her body wracked with emotion, the weight of everything she had just done crashing down on her. It was too much...too much.

But even then, even as she cried and sobbed, a part of her didn't regret any of it. The contract was hers and even though her dignity had been stripped from her, and her body was completely and utterly ruined, she couldn't deny that the feeling of having cum in all her holes, her face, and the CEO pissing all over her was so incredibly satisfying, to the point where she was already looking forward to the next meeting.

[cmdrfupa]

Lifetime

post shibuya!nanami x caregiver!reader

A series dedicated to healing and letting yourself have a second chance in this lifetime.

Inspired by this song that brings me to tears every single time.

content warning: shibuya arc, mentions of death, mental health awareness, angst(eventual comfort), burn victim so expect some detailed imagery.

wc: 4.9k

an: thank you for reading. I love you lots.

I.

Time seemed to trickle as Nanami waited for his physical therapist to arrive.

First at home session since being discharged.

4 days a week, 30 minutes a day.

“Individualized exercise program including rigorous activities as you progress to help you regain your independence.. Sure.” Nanami read from the pamphlet out loud and sighed as he looked over the stack of literature he left the rehab facility with.

He was thankful that he was deemed fit enough to continue his healing at home after 11 weeks in the best facility Gojo could find. While it accommodated every possible concern one could have, he was certain he wouldn’t feel confident in being self sufficient until he was able to put all he had learned into practice at home.

So there he was, sifting through paperwork and sipping his coffee as he awaited his new physical therapist and as Ino finished cleaning his kitchen.

“I think thats it! Lunch is in the black container on the top shelf in the fridge and I’ve prepped dinner for when Gojo comes to cook. Anything else before I’m off?” Takuma grabbed his keys, the jangle bringing Kento out of his reading trance as he looked up.

“Yes, that should be fine. I appreciate you coming over every morning Takuma. But it’s not necessary.”

Takuma scoffed, almost offended at the idea. “Nonsense. Its just a little breakfast and lunch. Its on my way to the school anyway. Consider it a small help.”

He could protest but Takuma would simply find another way to make himself useful. Whether it be taking him to his appointments or coming to slather his injuries: he was going to find a way to be of help.

As he adjusted his cast as best he could, a text popped up from an unsaved number.

>Hello, Mr. Nanami! Currently heading to you. ETA is ten minutes.

Signed with your name, Nanami simply reads the text and reacted to the message with thumbs up.

“Thank you, Takuma. Truly. But I think thats everything. My physical therapist is on their way so I’ll just hang out til then.”

“Alrighty! I’ll be working mostly on campus so just shoot me a text if you need me. Take it easy, Nanami.” with that, Ino grabbed his jacket and proceeded out the front door.

Nanami exhaled and got up to sit at the window. The mid morning sun was gentle but insistent, that soft golden hue brightening everything it touched.

It wasn’t harsh, just warm enough to remind Nanami of the outside world, a quiet promise that time was still moving. The warmth on his right side almost felt foreign as the dust mites danced lazily in the light. He closed his eyes, taking in the fragile sense of something stirring inside of him­— reposeful comfort in the way the sun didn’t have a sudden, overwhelming wave of joy but a soft declaration that he was still here.

Nanami hadn’t had many moments to really think about just how life changing the incident had been. Half of his body littered in 3rd degree burns, a third of that, 4th degree. Loss of hair on one side, an eye patch over his eye and a lack of feeling down his left arm.

He’d looked at himself in the mirror exactly once since the incident and didn’t do it again until he acquired his face prosthetic recently.

It was bulky and itchy, but it alleviated the deformities and more importantly, kept him from being too hard on his own appearance.

The moment felt necessary. Reminding him that the sun remained a constant while other things changed.

“I’ll need to see if I can sit outdoors for a few minutes a day. Would be good for me.” he noted outwardly before a light tapping at the front door had him shuffling towards the foyer.

One moment, please.” he paused a few paces before he reached the door to look down, remembering his shirt had a hole near the hem of it. He didn’t have time to change but only hoped the therapist wouldn’t see him as some undetermined slob with no real concern on how he looked.

He took a deep breath and opened the door.

“Mr. Nanami?”

“That would be me.”

“Perfect! Hello! I was sent by the health and wellness agency as part of your transitioning to home health care. We have an appointment. May I come in?”

No scrubs, no accessories to signify you were a medical professional. Just a badge clip holding your ID with “HHA” boldly sitting under your name.

“Sure. Come on in.” He led you into the house, slowly walking into the living room and nodding towards the couch as you stood next to him.

You grin and sat on the far end of the couch, near the window, “Thank you.” you sat your tote littered in small pins on the coffee table and pulled out a somewhat thick file.

“Would you like anything to drink? Water, coffee?”

Shaking your head, you tapped the top of your bag. “No thank you. I have my tumbler. But I appreciate it!”

Nanami slightly bowed his head and sat in the solo chair next to the couch. “Alright so, how do we start this? I was told I’d see you four days a week with one more day possibly if I need to.”

You pursed your lips, looking down at your paperwork before looking back up to meet his neutral gaze.

“I believe that’s your physical therapist that you will be seeing four days out of the week.”

“Then pardon me for being so… impolite. But who are you exactly?”

The laugh that left your lips was a soft one but enough for Kento to lift his lips into a slight smile.

“I realize your discharge team didn’t give you names, faces, or titles. My apologies.”

“It happens.”

You continued. “I’m your Home Health Care Provider. While you were still in recovery, you met with your primary care provider and you spoke of your in home care, correct?”

Nanami nodded. “Yes.”

“Going over the team you’d have for your in housee rehabilitation, you were assigned a home health aide 5 days a week.”

His brow furrowed. “So you are that, I assume?”

“Yes. I will also be the one looking over the full team that provides you with your in-home care.”

“This feels very unnecessary.” The tone in his response was sharp. “I have people who come to help me with my daily needs. Having an entire team sounds like an exhausting back and forth to have coming to my house. A waste of resources.”

Your demeanor remained soft and understanding as you listened to his concerns. “Mr. Nanami. I understand that it sounds overwhelming. If I had to be in the predicament of needing a care team after an incident, I too would be a bit apprehensive.”

“But you aren’t. I am.”

The immediate smile that grew on your face wasn’t one that came from kindness. It was your defense, albeit an understandable one. “You are correct. I’m not. But I implore to at least hear me out on why its important to have us.”

A rush of emotions filled Kento’s chest. He wanted to pull his hair out from sheer frustration. But he remained calm.

His discomfort was obvious to you and you wanted to remedy the ache somehow.

“I want you to have an idea of what this could look like as you approach the first steps of gaining a sense of normalcy. Would you be willing to let me give you an example of what a week may look like for you? And if you don’t like it, we can adjust to a schedule that fits better for you.”

“Let’s hear it, then.”

“Splendid.” You reached into your file and pulled out a thoroughly detailed schedule and turned it for Nanami to look along with you.

“So, this schedule is based loosely on the day to day you had while in the rehab facility. No matter who, anything involving someone from your team wouldn’t be arriving until 10am. This is unless you decide to utilize me. Then I would be here at 7 every morning to aide you with your morning routine.”

“What if I don’t want extensive help?”

“I would respect the boundary.”

Nanami took a closer look at the schedule, seeing the words ‘kitchen prep healing exercise’ highlighted for every Tuesday and Thursday. “What does this entail? Kitchen prep healing.”

“Your passions shouldn’t suffer because of changes. So I created a regimen that would help us get in the kitchen and get busy while making sure we help maintain your range of motion and fine motor skills.”

Nanami looked up at you for a moment, trying to assess just how serious you were about changing what he was uncomfortable with.

“So if I only need you for meal prep and assisting with chores around my house.”

“Then I will only help you with meal prep and assisting with your chores around the house.”

He handed the schedule back to you. “And if it isn’t something that I’ve mentioned?”

Trying to test you. Cute. “If you mention to me that would like me to assist you in going to the grocery store, fixing your bed, helping you get ready for your appointments, then I will. Because my goal is having you confident in yourself and your abilities.”

That nagging feeling of what if filled his chest and mind. Nanami knows he can’t do it alone. But to be a burden is the last thing he wants to ever become.

“I don’t want to become too dependent on you and your teams’ services.” He sat up as best he could, stretching out his legs and wincing at the unexpected intensity of his blood flowing through his left leg.”

Not wanting to lose the momentum, you sat on the edge of the couch alert of and aware of the pain he showed. “Your independence will not falter. We are merely an extension. We are the claw arm that’s in your reach if the jar of pickles are too high up, if you will.”

Nanami tried to stop the half smile on his face but faltered. “I understand.”

“Do you have any questions for me?” You smiled politely.

“A few,” Nanami cleared his throat. “When it comes to changing my dressings..”

“I will be the only one who sees them completely outside of your primary physician.” You answered, as if you were waiting for that specific question.

“Second question: can you properly fold a fitted sheet?”

You laughed, nodding. “The trick is in how you hold the corners. Line up the creases and you’ll always have a perfect fold.”

Nanami nodded. “Interesting.” The intense blood flow in his legs ceased and his body noticeably relaxed. He sat forward. “Final question, if you were to start tomorrow, could we have your start time for 8am? I like having the first hour of the day to myself.”

“If you want me here at 8 am, I will be at the door by 7:55 to knock at 7:59.”

The moment of silence was filled with hope as you realized you got to him. You let him see genuine concern and thats all he wanted. But this was only the beginning. And you were willing to be his guide to a sense of independence all the way through.

___________________________________________

The silence of the early morning was heavier than usual— a quit hum of of the refrigerator reached his room as he slept with his bedroom door open now, a new practice he’s since learned is a response to his trauma.

He sat on the side of his bed, staring down at his slippers that warmly held his feet as the barely visible morning light filtered through the curtains, soft and unrelenting.

“I embrace healing.” He spoke out loud, his voice still low, sleep riddened, as he slowly rose from the bed and grabbed his cane.

“We aren’t going to be hard on ourselves because this is still new to you, Kento. Its okay to not know what to do.”

Mornings were more of a drag than he would like for them to be.

His body was more stiff. More rigid. He needed 30 minutes minimum to sit on the side of the bed and stretch just to muster up enough internal energy to get up and grab his cane.

He sounded off, flipping the bathroom light on and adjusting the sink to run warm water. “Today will be a great day.” He washed his hands, meticulously washing between his fingers and flicking the excess off his fingers before he dried them, reaching for a clean towel and letting it soak under the faucet.

“You will be more than okay.” this time, he spoke as if someone would overhear him talking to his self.

Nanami shook his head, lowly chuckling at what he found himself doing.

Yuji began to send him various videos that initiated ‘positive self talk’ and ‘daily affirmations for healing the body.’ Yuji hoped to try and help expedite a process that Megumi told him more than fives times, would take awhile.

Slowly pulled away the dressing on his cheek, Nanami watched small bits of dead tissue peel away from his healing skin. He threw it in the trash hamper, then pumped a small dot of antimicrobial soap on the wet towel he’d soaked and gently began to wash his face.

He looked closely, inspecting every patch he wiped over to take notice of any changes in how his skin looked. He tried very, very hard to not look into his own eyes.

Rinsing and patting to dry, he washed his hands again then reached for the jar of salve, precisely swiping a thin layer over his left cheek and forehead before he placed his transparent face mask on.

Finishing up his morning bathroom routine went without a rush. Going to throw on yet another loose fitting t-shirt and casual pants before sliding his slippers back on.

Slow and steady. Nice and easy.

“I am going to have a great day today.” the rubber end of his walker softly thudded against the wooden floors as he made his was down the hall. “It is a new day. New chances.”

He wasn’t going to confirm or deny if these affirming exercises were doing anything. But he’d admit that saying them aloud was probably the silliest he’d felt ever doing anything.

The living room held a welcoming warmth as he drew the blinds open that faced the street.

The third floor apartment view was always the one thing that made the asking price of his condo worth it to him.

The patchwork of traditional rooftops and modern buildings met the edge of the cities outskirts. Bare branches stood against the pale early morning winter sky, hints of early plum blossoms added a hint of a spring that would soon come and wipe away the muted landscape.

Kento sat on the window seal, taking in the low mountains in the distance. That thin veil of mist hiding the peaks that were still dusted in snow. With a deep inhale, he looked down at the street to see a bundled up pedestrian loading his car with boxes as another, that looked only slightly familiar, was exiting their car in a slow jog to the front steps of his building.

He glanced over at the clock on the wall.

7:55 am.

“Timely.”

slowly, he went to open the rest of the blinds around the living room, a slow tango that made him a feel like he still had just enough control, timing the last curtain opening perfectly as your soft knock filled the foyer yet again.

He stood there for a moment, his hand resting on the frame, before opening the door and stepping aside in a half step to let you in. His expression was neutral — not unkind, but carefully composed, as if he were still deciding how much space to give you in his life.

“Good morning,” you spoke softly, offering a polite smile.

“Morning,” Nanami replied, his voice low and steady. “I was about to make myself a simple breakfast. Coffee too.”

It wasn’t quite an invitation, but it wasn’t a dismissal either. It was just a statement — a line drawn firmly down the middle.

You nodded. “That sounds good.”

You sat your bag down on the ottoman against the wall and followed his lead. The condo was quiet — too quiet, the kind that felt deliberate. Like he'd stripped the space of anything deemed unnecessary. A few trinkets here and there, clean lines, muted colors.. But the kitchen felt like the homeliest part of the space.

Black stainless steel appliances, cold press juicer and blender sitting on the counter. A top of the line built-in double electric convection wall oven, a display of every herb and spice on a dark mahogany shelf sitting high on the wall.

“You have a very beautiful kitchen.” Your eyes grazed over the quartz cabinets, taking in the light blue finishes until you landed on what you knew to be as the best stand mixer that only experts chefs and bakers would have.

“You have a Bosch… Its even more beautiful in person.” You inspected it as if it were a lost artifact seeing the light for the first time in 500 years.

Nanami cocked his head for a moment. “Are you that taken by a stand mixer?”

“Mr. Nanami, I’d have to work 3 weeks nonstop to not only get the mixer but to financially recover from it.”

Your half suppressed laugh had Kento smiling. “Understandable. It is a big purchase. I use to bake fresh bread for my weekly use.”

“You’ll have to give me a demonstration one day! Would love to see the Bosch in action.”

Nanami raised his brows. “You think I can get back to that one day?”

The small flick of something resembling hope flecked in the richest parts of his brown eyes.

“We can get you back to that. I’m sure of it.”

He nodded, a silent acceptance of an unspoken challenge. He opened the refrigerator, bearing his weight on the cane as he used his dominant hand to grab the butter, holding it out.

“Do you mind taking things as I pass them to you?”

You reached out, taking the butter and placing it on the counter. “Don’t mind at all.”

A pack of bacon, a jar of jam and an orange followed after and you awaited his next instruction.

“I’m going need your help with peeling orange. I believe I can manage the rest.”

With quiet acknowledgment, you grabbed the orange and began to peel as he placed 2 pieces of bacon in the skillet.

It took less than 10 minutes and Nanami moved to the dining table, a slice of toast placed next to his bacon on a plate and setting out a small dish of fruit with the addition of an apple now. You brought out 2 mugs of coffee, placing his in front of him and sitting across from him with yours.

A butter knife rested awkwardly beside the jar of jam he chose. It was clear he had intended to do more, but something had stopped him.

You didn’t move or say anything, you sipped your coffee and watched as he reached for the jar. His right hand gripped the jar while his left hovered over the lid. His fingers trembled — just slightly — but enough that the lid refused to budge.

You didn’t move at first. You’d quickly learned that Nanami wasn’t the type to appreciate overstepping, even if it came from a place of concern. So you waited, giving him the space to either push through the task or acknowledge the struggle.

After a long moment, his jaw tightened. The jar didn’t budge.

You opened your mouth — not to offer help, but simply to ask if he wanted you to hold the base of the jar steady when his voice cut through the silence.

“Can you…” He paused, the word tasting foreign on his tongue. “Can you open this for me?”

It wasn’t a whisper, nor was it loud. Just a calm, measured request, but you could hear the effort behind it — the weight of a man who wasn’t used to asking for assistance.

You stood and went to his side of the table and gently placed your hand on the lid. “Turn when you’re ready.”

His hand dropped away, switching his left hand out for the right gripping the glass part and his left fingers curling into a loose fist at his side. The lid gave way with a soft pop, and you set it down in front of him without a word.

He didn’t thank you, but there was a small nod — barely noticeable, but it was there.

“Would you like me to slice the apple for you?” you asked, careful not to overstep.

Nanami shook his head. “No. I can manage.”

You sat back down, sipping your coffee as he asked you more questions about your fascination with his Bosch.

_______________________________________

The morning moved quickly. Breakfast cleanup was a breeze as Nanami continued his light reading and non rigorous solo exercises.

During breakfast, you’d been given what you called the key to the cupboard by Nanami. He uttered, with few words, that he didn’t want to prevent you from doing your job. While he limited what that might be, he was quick to say how appreciative he’d be if his bed could be made up, his laundry started and lunch done. He’d have a friend come by to do the rest.

You happily complied and began working on laundry the moment he sat down post breakfast. And by noon, his physical therapist had arrived to continue his exercise routine and mobility work.

Despite the pain he would occasionally feel from the intense stretches he felt near his ankles, this was Nanami’s favorite part of his rehabilitation. Feeling the tightness dissipate as he stretched his neck and chest together. He closed his eyes, allowing the PT to guide his body on top of the exercise ball.

“Now a slow exhale as you reach your arms over your head. Nice and easy.”

The short man moved the ball under Nanami and he grunted.

“Sorry Mr. Nanami, too much?”

Nanami wheezed a chuckle out, “Not enough. Can we do this one more often?”

The therapist exhaled and smiled. “We can. Your body is reacting as it needs to and it seems to be the best exercise to get a reaction out of you. Does it feel like your body is loosening up?”

He nodded, slowly sitting up with assistance. “Definitely. My skin feels less taut at my hips and chest when I open up my arms like that. It feels.. good.”

“That’s what I like to hear. We’re going to finish off with some hands exercises then your aide will be tagged back in to finish the day off with you.”

His session proceeded and came to an end before he knew it. He walked with a bit more confidence as he escorted his therapist to the door and went to find you in the kitchen finishing lunch.

Nanami watched you sliced the cucumber. He nodded at the precision of the knife movements, impressed with how perfect each little sliced green disc was as you added it to the salad bowl. He waited to speak once you sat the knife down.

“You have some really great knife skills.”

You looked up and smiled, wiping your hand on the dish towel nearby. “4 years of cooking for a group of broke college students as a college student. 2 of those years were spent dating a sous chef who taught me some of what I know.”

“I’m sure this sous chef would be happy to know you use these techniques so well.”

“We could only hope,” Expertly, you avoided giving that a full response that would push the topic of your ex. “Where did you learn to cook, Mr. Nanami? I’m sure you are amazing with a Bosch in your kitchen.”

Nanami walked behind you, reaching for two bowls out of the cabinets and placed them next to you. “My grandfather wanted me to be self sufficient once I moved out on my own.” He slowly opened the silverware drawer, pulling out a pair of forks and knives. “And cooking in itself is its own therapy for me.”

You finished placing the grilled chicken in the salad bowl and handed over the tongs to Nanami. “How does cooking make you feel?”

He looked down at the tongs, his heart fluttering with an anxiety he couldn’t place. His eyes found you. “Do you think I can?”

“I’m right here,” you slid one of the eating bowls directly next to him and smiled. “What does cooking do for you?”

Nanami put his eyes back onto the salad and took a deep breath. He grabbed the tongs, gripping them, feeling the cold stainless steel rest in the part of his palm that still had feeling. “Cooking requires me to pay attention. Smell, sounds, how my food is looking.”

He widened the tongs, lowering them into the salad and tossing it lightly, as if he’d harm the lettuce if he placed any pressure.

“What do you usually cook with?” You noticed his hesitance in squeezing the tong tips together, his grip faltering as he exhaled from frustration. “I’m going to hover my hand below yours. Claw extension. Only if you need it.”

Nanami closed his eyes, slowly breathing out as he tried to not lose his momentum. “Garlic. Fresh minced garlic.” He tried again, slowly working his hands closed until he had salad gripped between the flat tips. He carefully moved it over to the dish, hand shaking but making it with no spillage. “I prefer to mince it and store it in water. Taste great every time.”

You smiled as he looked at you for a hint of validation and gave a nod of acknowledgment.

He moved the tongs back to the serving bowl with a glimmer of determination in the way he rolled his shoulders back. He grabbed more and placed it into the bowl, releasing a with a bit of force before sitting the tongs down. “I think I want a bit more tomato.”

Fork in hand, trying to pin down a slice of tomato so he could cut it. His right hand hovered awkwardly, meant to steady the cutting board, but his left — the one gripping the fork — trembled just enough to betray him.

The fork slipped.

The tomato skidded to the side, smearing juice across the surface. His jaw tightened, but he said nothing.

You didn’t speak either. You knew better than to rush in with help he hadn’t asked for yet.

He reset the slice, pressing the fork down again. His grip was too tight — his knuckles pale from the strain — but the tremor in his fingers wouldn’t let up. The fork scraped against the board, missing the tomato entirely this time.

A sharp pain ran through his forefinger and he dropped the fork, cursing under his breath as he massaged his purlicue.

His gaze stayed locked on the tomato, his shoulders tense.

“You did good. You and the tongs are quite the dynamic duo.”

Nanami felt a heated tear well in his eye before he sucked it back in. “This. Its all so hard sometimes. A fork? I can’t hold a damn fork and its been months.”

He needed to let the frustrations out. It was going to be the only way he could get over those hurdles to feeling whole again.

You stood in silence for a moment, giving him space to process and feel. “Don’t give yourself a timeline but do give yourself grace.”

“Is this all worth it?” You weren’t sure if he was talking to you or himself until he took a few steps back and leaned against the counter looking at you. “Will I be the same person I was before all this? Because I feel like even when I’m giving 200%, I’m failing with no progress.”

“This feels like it’s never going to get better,” Nanami said, his voice low — almost too calm, but there was an edge to it. A rare crack in the carefully composed man standing next to you.

The words hung between you both, heavier than the silence.

You gave him a moment before you spoke. “It’s frustrating,” you said softly. “I know.”

Nanami’s jaw shifted, his lips pressing into a firm line. He didn’t respond right away, as if letting the admission sit out in the open was already more than he was prepared for.

His hand flexed at his side — open, then closed — before, at last, he exhaled through his nose. “Can you help me?”

The question was quiet, but it felt like a victory in its own right.

You nodded, letting him take a few steps forward before stepping in slowly so he had the chance to pull back if he wanted. When he didn’t, you picked up the fork, steadying the tomato with your other hand. The prongs sank into the skin with a soft pop — a simple act, but weighted with everything unspoken.

Nanami’s hand hovered near yours for a moment, then dropped back to his side.

He didn’t thank you, but the small, almost imperceptible nod he gave was enough.

You didn’t push for more words. Instead, you handed him the knife, stepping back just far enough to let him reclaim some of the space —he had let you stand just a little closer, and it was a sign that he was willing to let you in to help.

[l-starsz]

Billie convincing reader to let her eat her pussy on her period

I'm inlove with your fics, you're such a damn good writer 🫶🏽🫶🏽

a/n: this probably isn’t great because i’m SOOO tired and my head is pounding rn but i hope it’s good at least🥲 and thank you so much ml!! i’m so sorry this took ages for me to write🫶

billie and i were laying in bed together, watching a movie. her back was resting against the comfy pillows on our bed, whilst my back was resting against her front. i was sat between her legs, and her hands were lightly resting against my thighs. we were both intrigued in the movie, or so i thought. whilst i was watching, and keeping up with the storyline, billies hands began to wander. they roamed up my stomach, cupping my boobs gently, before moving down again to this time, rest against my inner thighs.

i really tried to focus on the movie, but i just couldn't with her hands all over me. i knew nothing could happen, i was on my period, which meant that i had to wait a few more days until she could touch me. i'd been so horny. i was desperate for her, but we both knew that nothing could be done about it. well, she could fix my horniness, but i felt bad for asking her to do that when i was on my period. so i waited, and somehow put up with the feeling of being unbearably horny almost all day, every day.

soon enough, i felt her pressing light kisses behind my ear, down my neck, before lightly whispering in my ear.

"can i try something, baby?"

i slightly turned in her arms so that i could see her face, before answering her in a hushed tone.

"and what would that be, hm bil?"

"please can i taste you?"

my eyebrows furrowed and i looked away as i wondered why she was even asking. she knew i was on my period. she'd practically been taking care of me for the last few days. grabbing me a hot water bottle, or holding me in her arms whenever my cramps worsened. getting me whatever food i wanted when i was craving something. making sure i was drinking plenty of water. she really was the best. i just didn't understand why she was asking this now.

"i.. baby, you know i'm still on my period."

"i know.. i just can't wait!! i want to taste you please, love. i'll do anything."

i hesitated slightly. what if i made a mess, and then she got mad? what if i didn't taste good? she must have noticed the look on my face because she began speaking again.

"if you're not comfortable with this, then we don't have to do it. but i promise you that you don't need to overthink it, there should be no what if's filling your mind. you know i love you no matter what. i think you're the most perfect girl in the world."

how did she know?

it was like she could read my mind.

"pleaseeee? pinky promise i'll take great care of you, angel. just like always. pretty please?"

if i hadn't been so horny for the last few days, i probably would've said no, but that side of my brain just took over. i needed her so so bad. i reminded myself that she would always love me. this wasn't going to change that. she wanted this just as much as i did.

"if i say yes, can you put a towel down? you know.. just in case?" i mumbled, slightly embarrassed.

"of course, angel. whatever makes you feel the most comfortable." she answered me, placing soft kisses on my forehead.

once i'd spent a short amount of time thinking about it, i looked back into her eyes and nodded.

"i need you billie."

she just smirked at my words, before sitting me up slightly so that she could move from behind me, and settle in between my legs instead.

it didn't take her long to leave the room and grab a towel, folding it slightly and placing it underneath me. she sat on her knees at first, slowly pulling my pyjamas and underwear down so that she had the perfect view of me. once our clothes had been discarded in a messy pile on the floor, she leaned down to lay on her stomach, getting even closer to my core. i let out a needy whine when all she did was lightly blow against my pussy.

she could already see how wet i was. i hadn't told her about how needy id been for the past few days, but i think that as soon as she caught a glance of how wet i was, she immediately realised. she didn't bother to waste any more time, diving straight in. her tongue ran a long stripe up my pussy, before focusing on my clit. she was trying to get me wetter, it wasn't like she needed me to be wetter, she just wanted to tease. i reached my hands down to grab her hair, pulling her impossibly closer to my core in an attempt to get her to move faster.

we both knew that i was already pretty sensitive because of how long i'd needed this, so it wouldn't take her long to get me close, which was why she was trying to drag it out as much as possible. she wanted me to last as long as i could.

her tongue flicked my clit, before licking and slurping, just doing as much as she could to bring me pleasure. after what felt like an eternity, she finally moved to push her tongue inside of me. she worked her tongue against my tight walls as they squeezed against her. my orgasm was approaching fast, and my arousal must have been dripping all over the lower half of her face. at that point, i'd completely forgot that i was on my period, and i think billie had forgotten too. we were both too focused on me finishing.

i was so close, and to add to the pleasure, she pressed her fingers on my clit, quickly rubbing circles against it, making my moans as loud as they could get. i couldn't hold it any longer. no matter how hard i tried, i was too desperate.

"billie! baby, can i cum for you? please?" i moaned out.

"that's ittt." she praised, "cum for me, my love."

as soon as i heard those words, my orgasm hit me. my moans and cries were broken whilst i let the feeling consume me. my back was arching off the bed, and my hands were still tangled in billies hair, gripping onto it tight to ground myself slightly.

as i started to come down from my high, my grip loosened on her hair, and i felt one of her hands gently rubbing my stomach to help me calm down. when i finally flopped against the bed, trying to catch my breath, billie pulled her face away from me, looking into my eyes with a proud smile. all i could see was a mixture of my arousal, and blood dripping down her chin and coating her lips.

my cheeks turned red and i covered my face, embarrassed even though i knew billie was just happy that she'd made me feel good.

i didn't even notice her come closer to my face until i felt her carefully grabbing my wrists to pry my hands away from my face, and i heard her pretty voice.

"don't be embarrassed, angel. can i go clean you up now?"

"please." i nodded and thanked her, allowing myself to be lifted up in her arms, my head resting on my shoulder out of exhaustion.

once we took a long shower, and pampered each other, it was time for us to get back in bed and watch movies for the rest of the day, enjoying each others company just like usual.

[5targh0st]

NUMBER ONE GIRL

78. don’t kick his ass (written)

prev // m.list // next

Looking at the ceiling, still feeling something between numbed and overwhelmed, Yeonjun convinces himself that he did what he had to do. It’s just a little break until he manages to get Yuna to stop harassing him. Once she’s out of the picture, all those feelings will go away. Once she’s gone again, he can go back to the life he’s worked so hard for, right? He knows he’s hurting the person he loves most in the world, but it’s all for a good reason. Surely, you will understand. He will explain and you’ll understand. Just not right now. Not when his old wounds are wide open and you can see his pitiful soul covered in blood. He just needs a few days, maybe weeks, and everything will be okay again.

He really wants to believe that, because it’s been just a couple of days and he’s already dying to talk to you and go back to how things were; how they’re supposed to be.

“Can you please calm down?” Dahyun sighs yet again.

Joshua’s been angry and anxious ever since he saw those posts. Just what the fuck is Yeonjun doing.

“I can’t!” He’s beyond exasperated right now. “She literally said nothing’s going on and yet has gone radio silence ever since. I need to know she’s okay, and she won’t talk to anyone. And I can’t go to Seoul ‘cause we’re closing an important deal and those fuckers insist on seeing me.”

“Hansol says he’s going,” she tries to reassure him.

“That’s way worse!” He complains.

As if sensing they were talking about him, Halson walks into the living room. He looks like he’s ready to kill someone.

“I’ll call you as soon as I get there.” He announces while he makes sure he has his passport with him.

“Just don’t kick his ass right away,” Dahyun pleads.

“I’m not making any promises,” Hansol rolls his eyes.

“She’s gonna hate us if you do,” Josh reminds him. “Just make sure to get both sides of the story.”

“We’re literally meddling in her private life, she’s gonna hate us regardless.” Sarcasm drips from his voice. “So I have to at least land a good punch on that fucker.”

Joshua can’t help but sigh again. Contrary to popular belief, Hansol is way more prone to be a lot more overprotective than he is, and that already says a lot. Of, course, Joshua knows he’s intense and kind of abrasive, but he’s never one to resort to violence. Josh admits he’s the bark, and Hansol is the bite. That’s why they make such a good team. And that’s why he didn’t want him to go alone.

“I really hope you guys don’t regret this,” Dahyun says hugging his waist.

“I think we will.”

During the flight, Hansol tries to think about something else. He really, really tries to write a song and even read the book he always carries around which title he’s already forgotten. He can’t. His mind goes back to his little sister and, by extension, to Josh.

He still remembers the day they met, they were both five and trying not to die of boredom at one of the fancy dinners their parents used to host all the time. Joshua’s chubby cheeks and proud grin are still clear in his mind, “I’m gonna be a big brother soon,” he remembers Joshua bragging. That summer, they met every day and Joshua would say he’d be his big brother too. He was bossy, even more than now, but he was fun. Joshua would try to teach him stuff and care for him, he really enjoyed flexing those few months between their birthdays. Hansol has to admit that he was a little jealous of Joshua’s unborn sister, he liked the attention and felt that the little girl would steal Joshua from him.

And then he saw her. So tiny and fragile, she stole his heart. “Can I be a big brother too?” He remembers asking Joshua. And it’s been like that ever since. He was there as much as he could and tried to help here and there. He thought little Yn would interfere with his time with Joshua, but it was Joshua who’d always tried to cut short his time with the little girl. He loved attending her tea parties and letting her and Karina paint his nails. He’s loved her ever since he first saw her, he’d give up his life for his sister. Blood doesn’t matter, that’s his sister. And he’s gonna make sure Yeonjun understands.

That’s what made him lose his mind in the first place. He was the first to welcome Yeonjun to their little family and even encouraged him to finally ask Yn out. He was really grateful for his presence in his sister’s life. He never expected that he would do something like this, especially completely out of nowhere.

“What the hell is going on?” He mutters looking out the window. There’s nothing to see, though, not besides some dark clouds in the distance.

Three days. It’s been three days since Yeonjun said he needed some space. You still can’t make sense out of his words. You tried texting him, calling him. You haven’t shown up to his place, though, you don’t think you could handle such a direct rejection if he refuses to see you even then. Where did it all go wrong? Everything was going great, better than great even. Everything was perfect.

Were you too pushy? Too clingy? Just too much? Or maybe he got scared? This was his first relationship after a really long time, after all. Maybe everything got way too serious way too fast. He did say he wanted to take things slow, see where it goes. But you thought you were on the same page, you thought you both had the same goals and desires. What if he was just trying to please you? What if you were just a means to an end? What if he was just trying to prove that he could be in a relationship?

But he said he loved you? Loved? When did you start to think about him in past tense? Isn’t he your present and future? Fuck. Everything is a little too overwhelming.

“I need to get out,” you say before grabbing your keys and going out.

You walk around for a few hours but turns out that that’s not enough to ease your mind. Your thoughts are still driving you crazy. Your heart still aching. And Yeonjun’s still missing. When did you get so used to him being around? You miss his jokes, his laugh. His yapping, his random stories. Every single part of him became a part of you. How is it possible to love someone that much in such a short time? His little quirks are engraved in your mind. And you miss him.

And then you see the best way to forget about everything. Even if just for a little while. You just want to forget. Life would be easier if you could just disappear until everything is right again.

“Just one drink,” you say before making your way into the bar.

Very bad idea.

notes:

please tell me you get the modern family reference 😭

joshua trying to be reasonable is my favorite thing ever

han is a real one

if you don't hate my writing and storytelling, you can help me choose my next story here lol

taglist: open! (3/50)

@estella-novella @poetryforthesad @lisaswifey @angelzforu @ihrtlix @gloriousqueenking @domfikeluva @conwunder @miniature-tragedy @jeonginplsholdmyhand @sh0dor1 @yourenzoo @tkshairband @realrintaro @castingjinx @amara-mars @hwangrfrnd @nujeskz @jisungs-iced-americano @zeizeisjy @va1entinaa @beomgyusluver @to-toad @akindaflora @hoefororeo @mandydxndy @nyanamii @delulu4-life @thatonexcgirl @starsunoo @4lndr17 @nbjch05 @borahae-reads @mrsstayfox @beomieeeeeeeeeeees @mrsminseochoi @velvetmoonlght @night-storm7 @lilbrorufr @hyunjinstolemyheart @mangojellyyy @ihrtantn @lausnotverybright @hwangism143 @wa1kinggh0st @skz-ot8-stay @athens-09xx

[rieamena]

the shape of your spirit

wc: 0.5k

riea's comments: i'm sorry. image credit to n06ara on twt

my spirit was cursed to watch you live life without me, as if seeing your tear-stricken face as my body left the physical world wasn't enough. 

i was cursed to watch you spend sleepless nights, hugging a pillow, wishing that it was me in your arms.

every laugh you shared with others became a bitter echo in my ear, reminding me of the silence we used to fill together.

i saw your struggles, your victories, your growth and was reminded that i'm no longer here to support you, to celebrate you.

every day, every night. it was torture to see you but not be able to call your name once more and hear you respond, to hear takuma on your lips one more time, to hear my love just one more time.

perhaps i was losing my mind

you smile with him the same way you smiled with me. he's a good man. it's funny, i'm sure he told you the same thing back when we started dating. i'm glad that of all people, it's him you're with now. yes, it hurts seeing my mentor with you but it would hurt even more to see you never find your spark again

we did that together, though the only thing you trusted me with was sifting the dry ingredients. i didn't mind though, we didn't mind. it seems you let him do more than i did. it makes sense though; he's far more mature and responsible than me

tell me, are you happy?

i'll tell you. i'm happy. i'm happy that despite everything, you're still you. people say that love is two halves making a whole, but i disagree. love is two wholes, two complete individuals coming together to compliment each other.

though, if i said you didn't complete me,

i'm a liar

if i said that i hoped he would fill the hole that i made in your heart when i was gone,

i'm a liar

if i said that never wished that i could take his place for just one more day,

i'm a liar

if i said that seeing you laugh and talk and engage with him the same way you did with me made me content,

i'd be telling the truth

why?

because seeing you happy is all i need to fulfill mine.

a steel bowl, the same one i used for the flour and cocoa powder whenever we'd make brownies—a luxury i'll never get to experience again.

a steel bowl, our steel bowl, i knocked it over. not enough to make it fall off the counter and hit the floor, since i know how much the sound startles you, but enough to bring your attention to it—to bring your attention to me.

i know you can't tell, but i'm smiling right now. even in the afterlife, you're still my everything,

and with that,

i felt the final part of me—my soul—fade away, my presence on this earth nothing more than a memory

jjk taglist

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[iimplicitt]

DIRTY LITTLE SECRET PT. I | CL16

part one - part two

charles leclerc x fem!character

a/n: i feel bad for charles in this one whoops. inspired by dirty little secret by nessa barrett. part two will def have some good luck, babe! undertones. this is short and not that sweet. enjoy the angst

requests open

wc: 1.4k

His phone lit up in the dark room, casting the space in blue luminescence. He knew who it was, he didn’t need to check. It was practically routine any time she came to a race weekend. Charles was at her beck and call, always groveling. It had been that way for years.

Her dirty little secret, kept hidden from the world. He was hers. Charles kept telling himself he was okay with that but every now and then that little creature would crawl up from the depth of his mind, reminding him that she wasn’t his.

It wasn’t like they were completely unknown. To everyone else they were just friends. Supportive and caring. Nothing more, nothing less. Charles had to stand there and watch as she ran off with another guy every now and then. Confused but willing when she’d still call him to meet up, knowing it was wrong but not caring because he was selfish that way. He’d greedily take whatever parts of herself she’d give him.

Besides, he was doing it to himself at this point. She’d been up front the moment they decided to cross the boundaries of what had been an innocent friendship. They had lied there, tangled up in his sheets with city lights gleaming outside of whatever hotel they had been in. Her head rested against his chest and he drew circles into her back.

“Don’t give me your heart,” she had whispered. A warning. Either for him or herself, he didn’t know.

Charles didn’t think much of it until the next day when they were in the paddock and he’d gone for her hand. A little hurt when she slipped away from him, sparing him a glance before walking away to go talk to Lando.

He understood quickly enough when he found them making out later that night in a club.

They weren’t meant to be known, it was just for fun. She told him he could back out whenever he wanted with no hard feelings. They could just be friends, like usual.

He never said no when she called.

Never said no when she pulled him into her room by his shirt, mouth crashing onto his. Saying no never crossed his mind when his hands danced up beneath her skirt.

When baby had slipped out of his mouth one day he hadn’t noticed until she paused and looked at him. Her expression unreadable, her eyes a little sad. Or maybe it was pity.

“What’re you doing that for?”

Charles opened his mouth to respond, but he didn’t know what to say. That kind of intimacy isn’t what she wanted. At least not from him. “Sorry,” he muttered, watching as she turned away from him and texted on her phone. Her new boyfriend, or not quite. Considering they had sex last night, the hickeys Charles left on her hidden beneath her shirt.

He knew what he was doing was awful. But he kept telling himself one day he wouldn’t have to sneak out the backdoor of her house when her boyfriend got home early. That one day it would be his own home she woke up in. He wanted lazy mornings with her. He wanted to take her out, dance, kiss her with reckless abandon.

Charles was patient, he could wait. She’d realise soon enough she didn't need to find comfort in others. Part of him felt like she knew already but was just pushing off the inevitable. It was scary, giving yourself over to someone so completely. He knew in their case it was a bit complicated. Years of pushing and pulling, what ifs and attraction neither wanted to address.

They were best friends, nothing would change that and he knew he’d always be there for her. Despite the distance she tried to put between them sometimes, he knew she’d always have his back.

Monaco had been a dangerous test on his self control. After he won and he saw her from where he was standing on the top step of the podium, smiling at him with tears in her eyes, he ran to her afterwards. Picking her up and spinning her around, the sound of her laughter was heaven in his ears. Charles nearly kissed her, but he caught the warning in her eyes before he did. There are eyes around. Not here. Have you lost your mind?

He was nearly tempted to do it anyway, but after a moment he set her down, using all of his will power to remove his hands from her waist.

“Thank you for being here,” he said instead. Still happy of course, but his smile a little less bright. Hesitant. Not knowing how to act around her.

She gave him her own quiet grin, reaching a hand out to squeeze his own and he felt his heart trip over itself before she let go. “I know how much this race means to you.”

He nodded, taking in any of the small doses of affection she doled out to him.

Though later at the after party, when his eyes danced around looking for her like always, his heart melting a little when he saw her laughing and drinking with Oscar’s girlfriend, he took a few steps forward before coming to an abrupt halt.

Carlos came up behind her, arms sliding around her waist, comfortable. Familiar. She leaned into him, tilting her head back to let him kiss her.

It felt as if the world had been yanked out from under his feet. Hurtling through space, the lack of oxygen making his head spin. His teammate? Really?

When the opportunity arose as he saw her walking off to the bathroom, he came up behind her and grabbed her arm, spinning her around.

She blinked up at him, a bit dazed by the sudden aggression. But as her eyes flicked over his face her lips pressed into a line. “Don’t look at me like that.”

“Carlos? Seriously?”

She yanked her arm out of his hold, her brows furrowing as if he were being unreasonable. “What’s wrong with Carlos?”

He pinched the bridge of his nose. He supposed he was being a little unreasonable. All the times he knew she was in a relationship but he still happily obliged whatever desire she wanted, went down on her whenever she asked, let her nails rake down his back and when he’d pull on her hair the way she liked, when she moaned his name instead of her boyfriend’s… he hadn’t batted an eye.

Lando had admittedly hurt a bit, but he knew it wasn’t much between them. A fling. Excuses were all Charles made. But his teammate? That felt too close. Too real. Too personal even, because why not him? Why not ever just him?

She sighed, as if reading his mind. “Charles,” she started slowly. Tip toeing around the topic. Because he knew she knew. He’d known she’s known for a while now. She knew he was in love with her.

“Listen, I didn’t mean for this to get this far.” She gestured between them and he could feel his heart beating in his ears. “And we have fun, a lot and it’s always been nice but I don’t need to be this grand love of your life.”

He closed his eyes, suddenly wishing he hadn’t come out tonight. Wishing he was anywhere else.

He flinched when he felt her hand gently cup the side of his face, eyes opening to meet hers and he already knew what she was going to say.

“We don’t have to be in love, Charles.”

He opened his mouth to say something, but what? What else was there to say? He’d been a fool, he knew that. She warned him from the start but he had blindly held onto hope.

“I don’t want to be in love.” Her hand fell from his face and she stepped away from him. “Not with you.”

Charles stood there. His ears were ringing. Dazed. Dizzy. Watching as she went off to Carlos, falling into him so easily and smiling as he kissed her.

He should’ve blocked her number. Should’ve deleted it.

When his phone rang two weeks later he stared at it for a moment. Hating her. Hating Carlos a little bit, which he knew wasn’t fair.

He hated himself as he picked up, muttering a Hello and I’ll be over in ten minutes.

tag list: @theonottsbxtch @fortunapre @ashbone @c8lap1nto @taasgirl @stopeatread @dying-inside-but-its-classy

[lvcky-g1rl-syndr0me]

hai bby! hru?

so idk if this is going to make sense but i've had this thought on my mind for a while and i wanted to request something if it's not too much to ask for.

so like, rich sunghoon who's very protective of y/n and is cold to everyone but y/n and their rich kid friend group. and rich y/n who even tho is rich, is still very kind and caring. they're both in school (college or high school) and they're like the "rich and popular" kids. so basically, y/n's super innocent and sweet and hoon is trynna figure out how to confess? can be angsty with fluff? and you can decide whether it's written or a smau.

i'm so sorry if this makes no sense 😓 and if you can't do it, that's totally fine too. hope you're well love!

-⭐

youre not for sale (request) ☘︎ park sunghoon

warnings: fluff, comfort, angst, mutual yearning, reader being a bit blind, i think thats all!! if there's anything else let me know!!

park sunghoon was in love with y/n l/n. that was a fact no one could deny. It was obvious to everyone. Well, everyone except one person. y/n. He was constantly buying them things, from flowers to expensive jewelry. but to y/n, he was just “being a really good friend”. to sunghoon, they were the kindest, sweetest, ad most attractive person he had ever met in his whole life. that brings us to now. sunghoon has been with jake all day, coming up with a speech to tell y/n he likes, scratch that, is in love with them. “what the actual fuck do i say to them man? ‘hey y/n i know were super close and all, oh by the way, i'm in love with you’? hell no. shes just- sweet, and, i dont wanna say fragile. but shes innocent. i dont wanna hurt her or confuse her.” so far, its going…not so great. “i really don't know what to tell you bro. you just need to grow a pair and tell her.” sunghoon gives him a glare, “easy for you to say, you got your girlfriend by just being pathetic and following her around like a puppy”. “OH FUCK YOU MAN” safe to say, jake didnt take too well to his jab. sunghoon felt like drowning in self-pity. his friends were no help, and with each passing day he fell for y/n more and more with no idea how he should confess to them. especially when everyone around them knew all of their business. y/n on the other hand, could not have been more oblivious. “i’m telling you noo, he does not like me like that”, they say. oh how wrong they were. sunoo looks at them as if they were insane, “are you serious right now y/n? that guy looks at you as if you created all things good in the world! i’m serious!”. in that moment, he thought they could never be more dense. 

a week went by of sunghoon helplessly wondering, crying for help to his friends, and buying flowers for y/n that reminded him of them. he sees y/n walking to their class and runs up to them. “y/n! Hey! um- do you wanna hang out later? Maybe like grab some lunch or get boba or something” he asks, desperately hoping that they say yes. “oh my god yes! i’ve been craving boba like crazy!” for a moment, sunghoon truly believed there was something in the universe on his side. he spent the next 3 hours trying to think up someway to confess. flowers? the ring they've been talking about wanting? unlimited trips to their favorite restaurant? he needed to come up with something, and fast.

the pair somehow end up back at y/n’s dorm, playing video games. sunghoon had just beat y/n at mario kart *again*, and y/n decided they needed a break. “god, how do you win every time?’ they grumble while walking to the kitchen. sunghoon replied before even giving a second

thought, “i’m just that good baby”. y/n had never turned around so fast in their life, “what?”. He froze, nothing coming out of his mouth, eventually, it all just started coming out before he could save himself. “i love you. you’re so amazing, and kind, and pretty. i don't even think i deserve you but i really hope you’ll give me a chance! i’ve been trying to figure out how to confess to you for so long and this really isn’t how i planned it but this is how its happening. you just make me so nervous but in a really good way and i just really hope you feel the same or you hear me out and at least let me take you out on one date.” he stops speaking abruptly as it all just happened so fast. silence filled the once loud room that was overflowing with their laughter. “sunghoon…” they trail off, “you really feel that way?” he doesn't respond and simply stares down at his feet in embarrassment and defeat. “i’m gonna go, i'll see you around.” he abruptly stands up and leaves with y/n protesting behind him and telling him to stay. he beat himself up the whole night, this isn't how he wanted it to go, not at all. he couldn't believe he let himself word vomit like that! he just blew it with the person of his dreams, he could never tell his friends about this. they’d definitely use it against him for life, and he can’t bear the thought of reliving his worst heartbreak.

y/n wasn’t completely sure what to do, or how to handle this. sunghoon liked them? there's no way. he’s handsome and kind, he's perfect. and he seriously likes them? as she runs through every possible scenario of how this situation ends in her head, she impulsively decides to go to his dorm. she hesitated before knocking on his door. sunghoon opened the door, to see, to his shock, y/n. “i really really like you too and i’ve never known how to tell you and when you just said everything to me i froze because i didn't know what to say! you're the most amazing guy sunghoon and i want this to work out. so please just tell me if you want to make this work too.” he stood in the doorway, his mouth parted in shock. he spoke quietly after a moment, “you really mean it?” y/n looks at him incredulously “are you kidding? of course i mean it!” sunghoon swore he felt his heart stop for a solid 5 seconds. “i thought i lost you for good, oh my god!” he sighs in relief. “you could never lose me don't be stupid.” he gives them a glare before wrapping his arms around them, not caring who in the hall saw. “does this mean i can take you on a date now?” he asked softly. “i mean obviously”

masterlist

luckys note!: guys lets pretend it didnt take me 6 months to write this... um anyways ENJOY!!!

© lvcky-g1rl-syndr0me, 2025. do not copy, translate or upload any of my works without my permission.

(📍) PERM TAGLIST IS OPEN!

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(🎀) ANON/EMOJI LIST IS OPEN!

⭐️

dm me or send an ask to be added to either!

[hcnnibal]

what reminds them of eachother? like let's say one is just going abt their day, they see/smell/hear something very specific and immediately start thinking of the other angel?

(im convinced this sounds like gibberish forgive me if it doesn't make sense) :DDD

ooh good question..hmm

i think for a2, it’s… anytime he smells cigarette smoke… anytime he tastes butterscotch or whiskey… it’s the smell of books, expensive perfume, coffee with too much cream and sugar.. anything warm and sweet and safe and good

and for a1, its the warm weight of his necklace, its the smell of fire and smoke and blood, its anytime he feels hungry or cold, its anyone who has freckles or dimples or curly hair, its cool cars he just has to get pictures of to show a2 later, its thunderstorms and gasoline and wet asphalt, warm sunshine on his face and the ocean breeze and clean laundry and radio static and baby powder and natural disasters… just every little joy and every sublime horror the world has to offer…

[nabi-unveiled]

Catching Up: Let Free the Curse of Taekwondo (Ep 3)

Ep 1 React Ep 2 React

So fun facts....I haven't found a place to buy garlic ice cream locally, but there are A LOT of recipes for garlic ice cream on the internet. I do own an ice cream machine. We make homemade ice cream a lot in the summer. I sense an experiment coming up soon.

Anyways, onto episode 3. I am not doing a live reaction for this one. I had to wait over two hours for an oil change and decided to go ahead and watch episode 3. Controlling my facial expressions has never been harder. Although maybe I didn't need to try. Half of the people I know think that I'm a robot anyways. LOL. Anyways, I FELT like I was making a lot of facial expressions because...well just look at them!

There are no more qualms about sharing saliva. I love it btw that Dohoe keeps showing up with his chapstick. These kinds of small details are what make characters seem like real people. I'm known as the person who always have sunglasses (safety glasses really) on my head. No, I don't need them for work. It's just a habit. I'm also LOVING the color-coding. I haven't dove into the posts about this show, but I guarantee there was talk about them being color-coded.

THIS is what I want from a date sequence in a show people. THIS RIGHT HERE. GIVE ME MORE. I said in one of the BL Challenge posts that I frequently fast forward through the dating montages. Because typically they DON'T add any narrative or even show your characters really deepening their feelings. I want dates that FEEL like dates. This was it, and there was ice cream too! I should've just stopped the episode right here.

But alas, I didn't. And somehow, I'll still have to get work done today.

We got confirmation that Sunshine got expelled for fighting.

We got confirmation that Dohoe REALLY hates violence.

On the surface, this line SEEMS sweet. It IS sweet. But it's a bittersweet. Because what Dohoe is admitting is that he loves Sunshine enough to compromise his morals. And just like he didn't want to care to begin with, he will be conflicted about it. It WILL be a problem for him down the line. Because even if you're willing to overlook something, it doesn't necessarily make you feel good about doing it.

And we know that promise will be broken. I knew he would get in trouble for violence before this episode ever started. The foreshadowing has been strong.

Just like the foreshadowing on this line is strong. As soon as they said it, I was like crap. We're not going to be together. Either one or both of them is going to get their plan screwed up royally. My biggest fear was that Dohoe would be the one left behind. Because Sunshine? As much as he SAYS he doesn't have options, he really does. His family may have "abandoned" him, but they are still financially supporting him and calling him every day. Dohoe? Nada.

The watermelon is great here. I LOVE how much food is depicted in this show. This was a cute scene and reminded me that I need to finish my deep dive into soccer/football positions/rules before the next episode of FC Soldout. It also immediately made me think about the World Cup scene in Wild Chives and Soybean Soup.

It's a het drama that I don't recommend. Them as teenagers was great, but the rest was not. I guarantee it has aged poorly. However, I enjoyed that flash from the past. I looked it up. Apparently that drama was 10 years ago. Eesh. The feelings in both of these scenes were similar in that they are very young love and people just not sure how to handle it.

I love that they're training together and having secret meetings in the van. Everything about this feels SO much like what two teenagers in love would do. I squeed internally way too many times.

I'm beginning to sound like a broken record, but the amount of food in this series makes me SO happy. Real people eat. Real people making connections eat together. It's probably personal, but eating a meal with someone is a BIG deal to me. Many of my best memories with both friends and my children are over shared meals. Oddly enough - that doesn't include my husband. We don't enjoy the same foods and he eats super quickly. Fine, I'll revise. MOST people build connections by eating together, and these two DEFINITELY do.

Whoever chose RED for the phone understood the color assignment.

This guy has a problem. I'm assuming we'll learn more later about why this friendship went so badly south. Still...choices HAVE been made. Do-hoe is being a lot more civil than I feel he should; however, that seems in character for him.

It was at this point that I knew we were headed for trouble soon. Anytime the word "always" gets used, that's a red flag for me. Plus, look at HOW happy Do-hoe is at this moment. It shocked Sunshine, and you KNOW he was wanting to pursue that kiss further.

I'll be honest. I haven't figured out why we're seeing Sunshine in a school uniform just yet. The bike was when Do-hoe said he could succeed here. The other was in the scene where Sunshine was being beat, and it LOOKED like he was actually holding the Dad back. Was Daddy Dearest going to try to stop Do-hoe from taking the exam? Or am I reading too much into it. Either way, you can tell that Sunshine snapped.

Which led to our frenemies in the snow. Snow has definitely been a running parallel throughout the show. Typically, it's been hope, connection and even innocence. But it feels like the hope has been tainted through this scene. It also feels like this means we're getting a new beginning for these two frenemies. I can't be sure of that though.

My only question here was "WHO THE FUCK TOLD HIM?!?" Let the boy FINISH the exam before telling him anything. Whoever told him - you are on my hitlist.

We got new information that Sunshine was adopted. That's interesting. It could explain some things about why he so desperately wants his parents to be proud, but I don't have enough evidence. It's not uncommon for kids to want to please their parents after all.

This camerawork is SO good. Do-hoe has scared himself. He's seeing his reflection while his dad leaves the shot. It's him and his rage left behind. Plus, he doesn't like this reflection. This is NOT going to go well. Because THIS? This will scare him. He'll begin to think he could become his dad, and that's going to get all kinds of entangled with his feelings about Sunshine. It's real world feelings depicted well.

And now we have HISTORIC cold. And yes, it snowed. But everything is messed up.

And while I generally dislike time skips...

This one feels appropriate. This is when a time skip SHOULD be used. Based on where they were in life, the technology in that time period, and the situation that has occurred, this time skip makes sense. It'll be interesting to find out where they are now in life.

We know Sunshine is smiling. But sunshine characters often smile even when in pain (he's already done that frequently). We don't see Do-hoe. That feels purposeful. In some ways we knew sunshine would be okay. (I'm not saying emotionally okay.) It's Do-hoe, who didn't finish his exam, who had no other options, who is stuck. He's the unknown. Hopefully, he found a way out. But he's going to be scarred either way. I'm hoping now that we've had the time-skip that the rest is them overcoming the past and growing together as mature adults. We'll see.

AHHH. Why do we have to adult? Can't I just take a day off and binge-watch? This is infinitely more interesting than what I need to write this afternoon. Oh well. Bills must be paid.

[swan2swan]

Reflecting on the Animorphs book and the fact that "progressive" does not mean "morally flawless" but "designed to shepherd the world into a better place by addressing the issues of the time and offering possible solutions and/or an outlet for emotion".

Because that book was all about a gay couple hiding their relationship while one of them was dying of AIDS.

I had some bitterness as I read it, a sense of indignation that this would be their story, but I quickly quelled that (righteous) fury with the simple realization that this was reality back then. It wasn't meant to be ideal. It's not the template around which every queer story should be told, and is, in fact, made up of a lot of things that can be frustrating today (metaphors, calling it "friendship", they never really interact, distrust, a terminal disease leading to Bury Your Gays), but this story wasn't for me, today, in the year 2025: it's an expression of life from the 90s.

It's a time capsule just like the mall and shows of the day. Your neighbors? The people you see in the grocery store? In the hospital waiting room? The library? That's who was alive in the nineties. Wives and partners of veterans and stricken people, doing whatever they could to help their partners through a world that continues to paint them in a derogatory light. Mixed right in with the teens at the mall and the movie stars and the computer nerds were people who had been condemned and scorned for their very existence less than two decades prior.

This book was their story.

Romantic. Rage-inducing. Hopeful. Damning. That book was RAW. A dose of reality that should not be forgotten, because it reminds us that goodness doesn't have to shine solely in an idealized world. Sometimes, reality can suck. Sometimes, you're only fighting for a few more months of time. Sometimes, your friends are rude and prejudiced, and you will have to call them out (and it may even be your responsibility to do so!).

That's what reality was. That's the world KA Applegate saw around her, and that was the letter she penned to try and tell the people around her how to make it better.

Look at the world around you now, and think about where the step you can take today will lead.

[sparrowrye]

The Archivist's Oath || Chapter 14: better left buried

Synopsis: I accidentally wrote 6,050 words...anyways, things go bad very fast.

Master List

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

WARNING! Dark themes.

The lab hummed with steady buzz from white desk lamps, which gave an occasional flicker. Vox and I sat side by side, as we had been doing for the past two days. But today, something was different. His eyes were steadfast on his work, but his elbow repeatedly brushed against mine whenever he shifted on the stool. There was a calming tensity, as if he was waiting for me to say something. In a way, he was.

The contract remained rolled up in the corner of the desk, awaiting my signature. I had spent all last night thinking about it. Vox had gone to bed before me and left one guard outside the door. I had found several manuals hidden in towers of machinery, wires, and other junk. They were manuals of much larger machines and technology, things that would enhance Vox's mining and distribution facilities. I was surprised he hadn't asked me to translate those, but part of me had a feeling he was waiting until I signed the contract.

I glanced at the ink still stuck under my fingernails and the smudges barely visible on my skin.

In terms of words, I had translated roughly about the same as I had translated under Alastor's watchful eye. In term of objects, I had translated many more floppy books, pages, directions, and more. They were simple translations, ones that either gave Vox a slight insight to the inner workings of technology or none at all. Not every translation yielded helpful information, such as the wireless speakers.

"You know," Vox began, pausing his work and placing the melting rod down, "it's been nice having someone to work with. It gets a little lonely down here, which...I'm sure you can relate to."

I shrugged, keeping my eyes on the small booklet before me. "I think I was so busy with my chores that I forgot what it was like to be lonely. Until I tried to sleep." The confession had slipped out with ease but, for once, I didn't chastise myself. Despite my suspicions of Vox, he had been easy to relate with on a few occasions. If only Alastor could do the same.

Vox shifted slightly on his stool, watching me with an expression I couldn't quite decipher. "Sleep is always the hardest. Just you and the thoughts that decide to crawl out of the dark to torment you."

I hummed in response and ran my fingers along the old, smooth paper. Old World texts either came in thin, rough paper or smooth, plastic ones. Much of what Vox gave me was the latter, and I found most technology texts followed that pattern. I rubbed my fingers on the paper again. It was much easier to focus on the texture than the--almost vulnerable--moment Vox and I were sharing. The amount of times we had these moments in the past two days was a little concerning.

"Why are you being nice to me?" I asked suddenly, gently though. Vox blinked back, trying to register the question. "You could've thrown me in a cell the moment Alastor brought me in. Why are you offering me the chance to work with you?" I gestured with my pencil to the contract on the desk.

Vox's lips curled. "Who says I'm helping you? Maybe I'm just trying to see what you're made of before I decide if you're worth it."

I gave him a flatline stare. "Comforting."

He chuckled and leaned forward. "Or maybe," his eyes caught mine, "I just like having someone around who isn't entirely incompetent."

"Sounds like a compliment," I returned.

"Even a great Archivist isn't immune to compliments."

"We don't get them very often."

"Maybe if you actually spoke with another human being, you just might."

"That would require socializing," I reminded playfully. "Which I do not like doing."

"Why? You're very good at it."

A blush colored my cheeks. "You only think that because we're working on a mutual task. I've been told I'm very stiff and awkward."

"Well, who can blame 'em? You've lived your whole life around stiff books."

I rolled my eyes with a shake of my head. Vox's smile widened in return, wrinkles appearing in the corner of his eyes. I smiled back and, for a moment, the tension I had been feeling vanished, making the room feel much lighter. His eyes lingered on mine, but I saw the brief downward movement in them. The temperature in the cold lab suddenly rose, as did my nerves and the hair on the back of my neck.

I wasn't sure when he had moved.

One second he was sitting there smiling at me and the next he was brushing his fingers along my cheek. His skin was smooth from years of working with hot technology, and the inherent warmth from his palm spread through my skin where he touched me.

Then he kissed me.

It wasn't uncertain or hesitant, for Vox never did anything without confidence. The thumb on my cheek moved down to apply a small amount of pressure underneath my jaw, encouraging me to tilt my head back further. His other hand rested on my wrist to hold me in place, even pulling me closer.

I didn't move. Didn't pull away. Didn't lean in. I just existed beneath him, feeling the weight of his lips on mine, of the pressure on my wrist. He was carving into my mind, something I would never be able to take back.

Alastor.

My mind jumped back to the nights we had shared under the stars. The smell of spices was faint, replaced instead by a metallic, coppery taste. Alastor had kissed me differently, firm hands pulling me close with gentle passion, as if he needed me as much as he needed air.

Vox was different.

Vox was controlled, pushy even. He operated the kiss much like his district: tight and controlling. His hand was bigger and stronger where he grabbed my wrist, firm but not bruising. Meanwhile his other hand reached further behind my head in another attempt to coax into lean against him.

I didn't.

A hollow feeling crept into my chest and filled my lungs.

I pulled away first.

Vox's gaze was unreadable as he studied me, his thumb absentmindedly rubbing the space just beneath my ear. His blue eyes glowed in the fake light. "That was...interesting."

I swallowed, my heart pounding in my ears.

He looked as though he wanted to kiss me again, so I shied away to glance at the abandoned text on the desk. He didn't seem the least bit deterred, hooking his leg around his stool and dragging it close. His hand left my face--not before tucking a loose strand of hair behind my ear--and the other moved to wrap my hand in a gentle hold.

"I guess the contract is also a little self serving," Vox said quietly. His eyes glanced at our interlocked hands. "I've enjoyed your company. Really, I have. And I was hoping you..."

His words trailed off as his eyes narrowed on something behind me. His stool scraped against the floor as he reached past me. I turned just in time to see him withdrawing an old manual that had been stashed between two machines on top of each other. As soon as I saw the cover, my stomach dropped.

Vox's hand still trapped mine against the counter as he placed the manual down and furiously scanned through the pages. The ink had been smudged, bleeding through words and seeping into the next page, and other pages were missing entirely, with only jarred edges in the binding to hint at its previous existence.

Ruined. The book was ruined.

His grip tightened.

I stifled a whimper from the pain as his eyes scanned the room. His broad shoulders tensed and he finally let go of my hand. I massaged the fingers that had been pushed into the cold counter as he moved quickly around his lab. I watched with growing horror as he pulled various manuals from their hiding places and flipped through their ruined pages.

He stilled. Slowly, he raised his head to meet my eyes.

My muscles coiled on instinct.

Then I bolted for the exit.

He was fast, catching my wrist as I reached the door. I barely slipped out of his grip and lost my balance, slamming my shoulder into the hallway wall. I ducked as his claws hit the wall where my head had been a moment before. I jumped down the first few steps before his hand caught my hair and yanked hard. My feet slipped off the step and everything but my head cut into the edges of the metal stairs.

He dragged me up by my hair, then wrapped an arm around my torso to drag me the rest of the way. The pain dimmed enough to regain control of my limbs but, by then, it was too late. He hauled me across the floor and slammed the door shut with his foot.

I clawed at the hand still pulling sharply on my hair as tears fell down my face. He knelt over my waist to tower over me, caging me to the floor. "What did you do?" he demanded.

I clenched my jaw, refusing to answer. I had been so close. Alastor was expected to arrive today and he would've taken me back to his district before Vox had the chance to uncover what I had done. But now?

"Why did you do this?" His fingers grabbed more hair and I yelped at the sting. "Why!"

My feet slid against the floor as I struggled to push him off. He slammed his hand onto my bicep and leaned his weight on my hips so I couldn't wriggle free. Drops of spit hit my cheek with every heated word.

"I trusted you." He leaned closer. "I brought you into my lab and let you work beside me. I offered a freeing contract to be my equal and this is how you repay me?"

I forced myself to meet his gaze, firm but pleading. "I had to."

"Why?" He brought his face closer. "This knowledge is impossible to come by. It took me years to collect all of them. Years."

"You wouldn't understand," I mumbled.

"Then make me understand." He leaned away, still towering over me and pressing his weight on my stomach. "Because right now, all I see is betrayal."

"We were warned..." my voice shook with every word. "Humanity has to...has to evolve naturally. It can't cheat with Old technology."

"That is not your call to make, Archivist." He lifted my head, straining my neck and snapping bits of hair in the process. "Your job is to preserve knowledge, not hide it."

I narrowed my watery eyes. "My job is to protect the knowledge, so that it's not misused."

"You think you're protecting it?" His voice dropped to a more controlled—more dangerous—tone. "No, Archivist. You're hoarding it. Keeping it away from the very people it could save and bring Humanity back. And for what? You can't control how Humanity will evolve and you shouldn't control how we evolve. The old Humanity fell for a reason."

"I'm trying to keep us from following in their footsteps," I argued. I dug my nails harder into his arm, right on the underside of his wrist, and he let go with a hiss. He jumped to his feet, away from me, and ran a hand over his face in an effort to compose himself. I slowly got to my feet.

When he finally faced me, his anger had cooled into something akin to ice. Something calculating and unemotional.

"Fine," he said flatly. "You want to play gatekeeper? Let's make a deal."

He snatched my arm and dragged me to the back corner of his lab, where he proceeded to dig through carefully placed machines, wires, and plating to pull out an old book. It was large, thick, and covered in dust, but for all that, it was in good condition.

He didn't give me a chance to read the title as he pushed me towards his desk. He shoved me forward so I tripped on the stool and braced my hands on the table. He dropped the book right on my hand and I recoiled.

"Translate this," he pointed, "and I'll forgive what you did with the manuals."

I took one look at the title and felt my soul drain out of my mouth. My fingers went cold as the blood rushed to my ears. The title was worn, but not entirely ineligible--a marvel really. I was staring at a detailed manual that I had been raised to burn upon sight. The title read: The Rebirth of the Internet: How to set up and access

My mind raced as I tried to come up with a lie, a distraction, anything to divert Vox's attention from this text. But my mouth ran dry. All I could do was stare at it and feel dread spreading through my chest.

This...this was going to lead to my death.

My predecessors had fought to keep this book out of history, yet here it was right in front of me, asking to be brought back.

Vox's eyes darkened at my silence. "You recognize it." The air in the room grew stiff as he crept behind me, lips coming close to my ear to whisper, "You've been doing so well. We've been making so much progress. You wouldn't want to ruin it all now, would you? You wouldn't want to ruin your chance at freedom, would you?" His fingers gestured to the contract still rolled up in the corner of his desk.

I swallowed thickly as I struggled to maintain my composure, but the fear was too great. My legs were trembling and I had to lean on the counter just to stay upright. I sidestepped in a desperate effort to put distance between us. But he followed, pressing his chest against my back and putting both hands on the table on either side of mine.

"What is it?" he purred in my ear. "Forget how to read, Archivist?"

"It's...it's nothing," I stammered. "Just...just way outdated stuff I've only ever heard rumors about." I knew he could see my distress but I had lost complete control of...everything.

"You know, you're really bad at lying."

I turned in an effort to force space between us, but he moved faster. His hand snatched my shoulder and spun me the rest of the way to face him head-on. I lost my footing and he returned to his previous stance, hands on either side and his body pushing my back into the edge of the desk.

His face came horribly close as he spat, "What are you hiding? What is it?" Then he lowered his voice again, and his eyes hardened. "I've treated you like an equal, haven't I? I promised you a life of freedom, didn't I? Yet you've destroyed knowledge and now you're keeping secrets from me."

"I...I can't..." My voice was barely above a whisper. "It's...I'm not allowed to translate it."

"Why? Because it's too dangerous?"

My silence was his answer.

"You Archivists are so proud and believe so stubbornly that you know what's best for Humanity. You play god in a world so broken, not caring about the hundreds of lives that are lost every day because of your broken tradition."

He let out a sigh. "Now, listen carefully..." He pressed his hands on top of mine and a gasp escaped me as he pushed them painfully into the metal. "I'll forgive the manuals. Every single one of them. No punishment and no consequences. Just translate this book and all is forgiven."

My lip trembled. "I...no."

"No?"

"No. I...I can't."

He leaned in close. "You can't or you won't."

I swallowed and looked away. "I'm forbidden to."

"By who? A dead society? By the ghosts of the Archivists long gone?" His breath was hot on my cheek despite how far back I was leaning away, forgoing all pain shooting up my spine. His tone softened. "I thought you were smarter than this. I thought you, of all people, would understand that knowledge should be used, not buried."

I pressed my lips into a tight line, and averted my gaze.

He struck like a snake. I panicked as his hand enclosed around my neck, right under my jaw where it mattered most. My eyes shot to the ceiling as I scratched at his hand, choking on my own spit with every gasp for air. I felt his lips touch my ear and his grip loosen just enough so I could breathe properly. "You're going to translate it or so help me, Archivist, I will make sure you follow your oath all the way."

New tears fell down my face. "No."

The world spun as he pulled me from the desk and dragged me into the hallway, his grip like iron. I tripped down the stairs after him, his unyielding grip the only thing keeping me from splitting my head open.

"Vox, I—wait!" I dug my heels into the ground but the leather of my shoes just caused me slide alongside him.

"Stop!" I twisted and pulled but he was stronger, angrier. No amount of struggling and writhing could loosen his grip as he dragged me down colder halls, dimmer lights, and fewer salved technology. He was taking my deeper into his stronghold.

"The way I see it, Archivist," Vox's voice bounced off the stone walls, "you're too scared to do what needs to be done. You cling to an ancient oath made in a time of despair. You have the chance, you have the power, to save Humanity and guide it to a greater future. But you refuse to take the risk of trusting in the current Humanity. You're content to sit to the side and watch us all fail."

I dropped my weight and slipped under his arm, but his hand was locked around my wrist. "You don't understand!" I pulled harder but he just yanked me back and glued me to his side again. "What you're asking—it could destroy everything!"

He turned a corner and my eyes widened at the sight of stone cells. He attempted to my push me through one of the doors but I clung to the threshold, digging my shoulder into his ribs. He grabbed my hair but my hand shot up to rake my nails across his face. He flung his head out of reach and I squeezed past him, only to be tripped and dragged inside by my foot.

He stood in between me and the door as I scrambled to my feet. "Alastor has been far too lenient with you. His feelings have clouded his judgement and now look where we are. If he had dealt with you properly from the start, we wouldn't be in this mess."

"This isn't about feelings," I snapped, practically hearing Alastor's voice in my head. "This is about doing what's right. Even—even if you can't see it."

"You think you know more than I do?" His cold shadow loomed over me. "You're nothing but a scared little girl who spent her life hiding away from the real world. You should be kissing my boots for the chances I've given you." He took a slow, deep breath to calm down. Then met my gaze, his voice jarringly soft and gentle. "Last chance. What was the book? What did it say? You can still walk away from this."

I inched out of his shadow. "I won't translate it for you."

His shoulders sagged with a sigh. "Fine." He closed the door with a loud BANG, flipping a switch and drowning me in utter darkness.

~*~

Vox dropped his head in his hands with a deflating sigh. He had run out of time. Alastor was coming back and the Archivist—his Archivist—would run right back to him. And Vox had no one to blame but himself.

A sharp laugh interrupted his thoughts. "Gods, you really are an idiot."

"Not helping, Val," Vox mumbled.

"You let your anger get the best of you." Valentino purred and pranced over to where Vox sat at his desk. "You were supposed to make her like you. Instead, she got you to like her." He sat on the edge of the desk and crossed his ankles, stretching his long legs out. "Now what do you think she's gonna do? She'll run straight. Back. To. Him."

Vox slammed his fist on the counter. "Is there a point you're trying to make?"

"How did it feel when you kissed her? Having her so close and hesitate to push you away? Imagine how Alastor would feel when he finds out."

"He can't hurt me. Besides—"

"No." Valentino interrupted and leaned forward. "How do you think he'll feel about her? She'll be tainted to him. Disloyal. Unfaithful." He gave a slow, knowing smile. "And then, she'll have nowhere else to run but here."

"She'll hate me," Vox argued. "She'll just keep finding ways to destroy more knowledge and slow our progress. She doesn't care about anything other than her precious books."

"She already hates you." Valentino circled him and placed both hands on Vox's shoulders. "But hate and love? They're closer than you think."

Vox didn't reply, only burrowing his face further in his hands. Valentino leaned down so he could speak directly in his ear. "She's slipping, dear Vox. You got in her head and now? She's torn. Confused. And once Alastor finds out? He won't want her back."

"It won't matter," Vox muttered. "Alastor will just break her. She won't get the chance to run back to me."

"Alastor is still bound by Lucifer's command just like the rest of us. Our sad little 'king' may step in to keep him from killing our only Archivist. He might even give her back to you because of all the things she translated for you."

Vox tried to shrug off Valentino's hands but the tall man didn't let go. "She'll fight. She won't ever trust me again."

"Let her fight." Valentino pulled on one of Vox's shoulders so he would look at him. "That's the beauty of it. She'll fight and struggle and resist, but in the end?" He cocked his head to the side. "She'll break. They always do."

Vox swallowed the bitter taste in his mouth. He had tried to coax her into staying with him, he had been so close, but his anger had shoved her in a corner.

"You're hesitating." Valentino finally released Vox's shoulders and strolled to the center of the room. "Let me handle it. You've done your part. Let me make sure she never wants to crawl back to him." He glanced over his shoulder, red eyes meeting Vox's steady blue ones. "Make her see that you're the lesser of two evils."

Vox blinked at him. He knew what Valentino was asking of him—what he was suggesting. The problem was that he wanted to agree with him. Valentino had a way with coercing his underlings into being blindly loyal to him; terrified to do anything against him. Could he do the same to the Archivist?

His sigh crackled through the still air. "Just...don't go too far."

Valeninto's grin sharpened. "Don't worry."

~*~

I sat curled in the corner, knees tucked under my chin as I forced steady breaths through tight lips. Footsteps echoed down the empty hallway for several heartbeats, then a blinding light flashed in the cells. I shielded my face in my arm, but the sound of the cell door swinging open made my head snap up.

The lights dimmed to a single overhead light in my cell as a man—tall, lengthy, and with two pairs of arms—strode towards me. I jumped to my feet and bared my teeth as I readied to fight. But he stopped in the center of the cell.

"Poor little Archivist," Valentino crooned. "Left all alone in the dark." He wore a long, red coat with striped animal skin around his collar. His hat, with a matching feather, added more to his height.

He propped a hand on his hip as his bright red eyes glared at me through pink-tinted glasses. "Do you think he's coming for you?"

I narrowed my eyes and shifted sideways along the wall. He remained where he was and merely turned his head to watch me.

"Alastor," he clarified. "The most feared Radio Demon. Your savior."

He tsked.

"You think he'll storm in here, slaughter us all, and take you back in his open arms?"

My eyes flickered to the door that had been left slightly ajar in his haste to enter.

"You did kiss another man."

I stopped.

My stomach twisted as he turned to face me. His grin made my blood run cold. "You let Vox touch you. Let him taste you." He took a step forward. "Alastor doesn't strike me as the forgiving type."

I pressed my fingers to the rough stone in an effort to ground myself before my panic took over. The sickening feeling in my stomach worsened.

"And what about all those texts you translated?" he kept going. "Think about how much knowledge you handed over to the man Alastor hates." He tilted his head to the side. "Do you think he'll be grateful?"

I glanced at the door.

"Or do you think he'll look at you as the traitor you are?" His voice turned silky smooth. "Face it, Archivist. He'll never trust you again. You can never go back to him. But if you surrender now—"

I bolted out of the cell and slammed straight into someone. Cold, slimy hands grabbed my shoulders and shoved me back inside, forcing me to trip on my own feet. My head hit the stone as the cell door locked soundly behind my new interrogator. His pointed noise and tail were a trademark of Vox's sharkmen.

"Now, now," Valentinoo crooned. "Let's not make this any harder than it needs to be."

The shark moved too fast. He was on me in an instant, pinning me to the ground as I snapped and snarled at his face. His tail hammered my legs into the ground as Valentino appeared above me, settling his weight on my chest and grabbing my arms. One pair held my shoulders and the other pair pinned my wrists to the stone.

"All you have to do is sign the contract Vox graciously gave you." Valentino's breath smelled sickly sweet.

My own breath hitched at the sight of something sharp and shiny—a set of metal clippers, far too thick and heavy for my fragile anatomy. Panic finally spilled out. "Wait—don't—"

My own cry cut me off as one of my footclaws was severed. The pain was immediate and white-hot. It sent shockwaves of sharp, prickly pain up my leg and singed my nerves. I jerked my foot but the lackey had a strong grip on my ankle and his weight on my legs.

Another clip.

My back arched off the ground as I tried to throw my weight sideways. Valentino chuckled deeply in my ear as I writhed beneath him.

Another clip.

"Such a delicate thing," he mused after my scream died down. "And yet so stubborn."

Another clip.

Tears streamed down my face and my muscles contracted. I was helpless against them as they leaned their weight on my limbs.

"Just agree, Archivist. And all this pain will come to an end."

Another clip.

This wasn't about joining Vox. This was about the Internet. The contract had been a way to bound me to Vox so I would translate the Internet. He didn't actually want me as an equal—it had been a ploy that I played right into.

Another clip.

The ground became slick with my own blood.

Another clip.

I mumbled.

"What was that, Archivist?" Valentino leaned closer so his teeth came uncomfortably close.

"...do solemnly swear to uphold the duty of the Archivist—"

"What the...?"

"...guardian of Humanity's collective knowledge. I v-vow to protect my Archive—"

"Stop that."

"...preserving the truths of the—of the past from corruption, d-destruction, and misuse. I shall remain steadfast in my duty—"

"I said stop." He grabbed my jaw as the lackey snipped another claw. He leaned away as I let out a shrill scream through my broken throat.

"...e-ensuring that...that this knowledge...is kept safe, e-even at...the cost of my own...my own life, or those I care for." My words slurred together with trembling lips.

"It takes one word, Archivist. And this all goes away for good." He tried to sound convincing, but his frustration was the only thing that came out. His bruising grip tightened on my jaw. "All you gotta say is yes."

Another clip.

Another scream.

More tears.

More blood.

"...I p-pledge...to seek truth...above a-all. To disting—distinguish fact from f-falsehood—"

Another clip.

Vox, who had been waiting around the corner with cold detachment, finally stepped up to the door. "Val, that's enough."

"She's out of claws anyways," Valentino grumbled. His weight lifted from my chest at the same time as his hands disappeared from my arms. The lackey followed and the sound of the door swinging open scratched my ears like nails on a chalkboard.

I sniffled, twisting over on my stomach and dragging myself across the floor away from them.

Vox knelt beside me but I slashed for his face, missing by a hair. Pain pulsed through my legs as he pressed a cloth to my bloodied feet. The pain reached all the way through my tailbone, up my spine, and across my shoulder blades.

I heard shuffling and muffled voices as the world began to spin. I swallowed the growing nausea but failed, emptying the contents of my stomach on the cell floor.

I sucked in a gasp of air and blinked through tears. The cell was empty, but I could hear shouts down the hall. I chanced a look at my feet and was almost sick again. There was blood everywhere.

I fell in and out of consciousness several more times. I could remember the burn in my feet, my body seizing inward, and my limbs shaking uncontrollably.

I used my aching arms to pull myself to the wall, lifting my feet just enough so they wouldn't rub against the ground. I put my shoulder to the stone wall so I could see the entrance, then curled in a tight ball.

A long trail of blood smeared the floor.

The cold was the worst part. I couldn't feel my fingers as I cried, my teeth chattered and my body shaking. Despite the pain I had suffered, both physically and mentally, I had done my family proud. I had done my heritage proud. I had done my ancestors proud. When faced with pain and evil, I had prevailed, even if not very well. That was the way of the Archivist. That was what made me an Archivist.

But the scared, hurt little girl inside wished she had lived a different life.

She wished she didn't have to hold the weight of the world on her shoulders. Wished she could have grown up in a community with other people. Wished she could have lived a life completely oblivious to that of the Archivists.

But she couldn't. Her life has been chosen for her and now she was paying the price of her lineage.

"You did what?"

Alastor.

Panic made me almost vomit again, but there was nothing I could do about him. I watched and waited with sickening anticipation through the bars.

"It—it was just meant to scare her, that's all," Vox stuttered.

"You told him she needed to be in one piece," Valentino said calmly, despite the danger staring him down.

"I said she needed to be in the same condition as when I left her." It sounded like the Radio Demon, not Alastor and certainly not Al.

"You should've seen what she looked like when I pulled out the old manual. The thick one. The one that we found in—"

"So you declaw her because she refused?"

"They'll grow back!" Vox tried.

The shadows warped as Alastor came around the bend and peered through the bars. I covered my face as I felt his eyes looked me over. I could feel the prickle down my side and land on my feet. Every heartbeat sent a pulse of burning pain through my knees.

For a moment, there was silence.

Then there wasn't.

"You can't kill me!" Vox screamed. The sound of claws on stone, sparks flying, and flesh meeting flesh reached my ears. "Our deal is still on! You'll leave her with no one."

I could't see what was happening. I only saw half shadows of Alastor towering over Vox with stretched outlines of antlers protruding from his head. Valentino's back was just barely visible at the corner, and he looked ready to run.

"You can't kill me." Vox's voice cracked, and he stuttered out a cough of blood.

Alastor was quiet for a moment.

"No," he admitted slowly. "But I can make it even."

The sound of bone snapping was overpowered by Vox's scream. Valentino made a run for it but Alastor moved lightning quick, slamming into the man's back and taking him to the ground. Something dark wrapped around Valentino's foot and in one swift motion, jerked it at a disgustingly wrong angle.

I covered my ears as their cries bounced off the stone, and soon, I joined in. I cried against the stone knowing he was coming for me next. My breath fanned my face against the floor where I cowered. I couldn't stop shaking, couldn't stop crying, couldn't stop panicking. My feet stung so bad.

A light hand touched my leg and I flinched violently with a yelp.

"Darling," Alastor said gently. "It's me."

I continued to tremble, arms locked firmly around myself as I tried to make myself as small as possible. Any slight shift made my feet slip on my own blood. I clung to my sleeves, bracing for something worse.

"Darling," he tried again. I flinched at his touch on my arm but he didn't recoil, instead gently rubbing my shoulder in an effort to coax me out of my tight ball. "I need to get you out of here."

I shook my head and sniffled. My muscles refused to let go as I choked on a sob.

"I'm not going to hurt you." His hand continued to draw gentle circles on my back.

I shook my head again. My body convulsed a few times when I tried to speak and consciousness slipped from my grasp a few other times. I just wanted to sleep, to make all the pain go away.

You let Vox touch you.

Let him taste you.

He'll look at you as the traitor you are.

Valentino's words reverberated in my mind, curling around me like poison ivy.

Cheater, I thought to myself. Traitor.

I had made it even between us—Alastor had betrayed me and now I betrayed him. Yet somehow, I still felt like the bad guy.

Alastor sighed and his hand came to a stop. "I'm taking you home."

Home—

—was miles away.

I lifted my head just enough and cracked one eye open. His smile was strained, his eyebrows furrowed in an attempt to be gentle. He looked like the Radio Demon—he had all the right parts from the jacket, to his monocle, to his sharp hair—but it looked like Al was staring down at me, wearing all the wrong things.

He wedged his hand between my cheek and shoulder while the other carefully reached under my knees. I let him reach behind my back and finally hoist me off the ground, and the cold air on my feet caused me to hiss.

"I've got you," he whispered.

He was so warm.

I dropped my head on his shoulder and pressed my face against his neck. I didn't want to see what had happened to Vox. I could hear his groans and whimpers, muddled with those of Valentino.

I continued to shake. My body couldn't get warm.

I slid my hand under the flap of Al's jacket and clutched the fabric underneath, searching for more warmth. He tensed for a moment, then shifted his hold, cradling me closer as he stepped past Valentino.

"I know, darling," he murmured, "I know."

He walked with careful, deliberate steps, as if afraid any quick movement would shatter me. It just might.

He'll hate you.

My breath hitched. I swallowed a sob and Al's arms tightened ever so slightly. "You're safe, my dear."

Was I?

The air outside Vox's stronghold was colder than I remembered, a cruel contrast to the warmth radiating from Al's chest. My feet throbbed at the chill and I whimpered into the collar of his coat. It would take weeks for my claws to fully heal. If they even healed properly at all.

The thought caused another choked sob.

"We're almost home." His chest hummed as he spoke.

Home.

I didn't know what that meant anymore.

But I clung to him anyways.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Author's Note:

I originally thought about splitting this part into two chapters, but figured you guys deserved a big conflict chapter. Didn't want to keep you in the dark for too long :)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Taglist:

@sirens-and-moonflowers @papas-ghoulette @eris-norwega

[redplanetlobster]

I actually went through a couple different Fears for Jason before I settled on the Buried. Most of them I dismissed because I felt Jason would be more likely to be a victim of them than on Avatar (I mean the Buried isn't much different but there're a lot of ways I think Jason can enact the fear, unlike the others I thought about). The Slaughter wasn't actually one though, senseless killing definitely isn't his style. The Hunt definitely could be though. The pursuit of a goal that, once achieved (if it ever could be in the first place), would leave him still searching, still wanting, and ultimately unsatisfied? That sounds like him wanting the Joker dead but refusing to do it himself. That sounds like his wanting of Bruce's approval without the willingness to change himself. That sounds like his fruitless goal of ending crime and violence with crime and violence.

Some of the other Fears I thought about:

Flesh: I'm a huge fan of the hc that Jason has some wild body dysmorphia after his dip in the pit (plus the Flesh is my favorite fear). Unfortunately not many things for him to torture other people with. His low self esteem maybe?

Lonely: Jason woke up in a world that had moved on without him. Everything was different: his family, his city, hell even the Manor was different due to the events of No Mans Land. I wouldn't fault him for feeling completely isolated as the world, as he knew it, just doesn't exist. (I've got a note somewhere in my docs about a fic where Jason gets put on Martin's/a Lonely domain in general. The domain is just the empty Manor (rebuilt after No Mans Land, so remodeled somewhat) with people leaving rooms just before Jason entered because they heard him coming and just couldn't stand to be anywhere close to him for one reason or another)

Web: Jason absolutely loves making plans and getting other people to follow them unknowingly. The entirety of UtRH he was kicking his feet and giggling every time Bruce did the exact thing here planned for.

End: He died. He's literally a zombie. There's not much more to it than that, pretty basic lol. Ultimately, I don't think Jason is patient enough to be an End Avatar.

Now the reasons I think the Buried fits him best (the bullet points are only a suggestion of putting this into coherent ramblings with separate ideas and reasoning lol):

The thought of a man, deathly claustrophobic and physically can't stand the scent of wet earth because it reminds him of the time he had to claw himself out of his own grave, having to dedicate himself to the concept of being buried alive in order to survive is very funny to me. When the thought first occurred to me I had a little chuckle to myself before actually I took a second to think about it.

I think the influence of the Buried would have been with him for his entire life. He grew up in poverty and was orphaned and homeless at a very young age. Jason is very and always has been very aware that the only way for him to go in life is down. Sometimes it is better to be dead.

During his tenure at the Manor, Jason never thought of it as relief from his hardships of the streets. He was just trading them out for new ones. After all, the only reason Bruce took him in was so Batman could have a Robin right? When he couldn't be a good son for Bruce he couldn't be a good Robin and if he wasn't Robin he didn't have a place in Bruce's house now did he?

Robin itself brings a whole lot of weight on its own. Jason was handed the mantle of the first sidekick and told that he could fill his shoes, that he might even be better. He was handed a mask at 13 and told that he was one of the few people standing between a city and its death and destruction.

Warehouses are quite heavy and asphyxiation sounds like a horrible way to go.

Jason had to dig his way out of his own coffin while still suffering from all of the injuries of his death.

Uhhh... I don't really have anything for Lost Days or the UtRH arc. Mainly 'cause those feel like they go pretty firmly into the reasons for Jason to be an Avatar of the Hunt.

When Jason chose to go back to Crime Alley he also chose to take on the weight of it. He chose to take the many problems of his people, many of which you can't actually solve with a gun, make them his problems. He chose to make those problems his.

Jason returned to the Alley, the first place he felt the oppressive but comforting weight of it, and did the only thing he knew how. He went down and shouldered the responsibility of fighting against the system that doomed his home.

Those last two bullet points are dangerously close to me fully writing this au out/getting really into the changes that I think Avatarhood would have on Jason and how I think he would feed on the fear, so I need to stop here. But yeah, I really think that the Buried fits Jason very well.

I've some very sophisticated thoughts about a TMA and Batman crossover but if you ask me any questions about it I'll only be able to tell you about Buried Avatar Jason.

[skinreflectsthesun]

Tag up to five moots you think deserve a follow. (Bonus points if you include a reason why you think they deserve it)

@grumpy-gh0st - my beloved is so funny and witty and is always always so sweet to me

@patronums - my wifey is hilarious and makes my life better daily, she’s a sunrise after a long endless night

@geehoneybee - my sweetheart is so so kind and an all around wonderful friend, I always love seeing her in my notifications and on my dash

@michipichi - my lovely radiates good energy, she’s funny and so wise, one of my first friends on tumblr and I’m lucky to have stumbled upon her in this little corner of the internet

@bumpintheroad - my honey is so lovely and kind, shes another original tumblr friend I made whose glowing energy made me feel like we’ve been friends for forever and were just picking up right where we left off

[antimony-medusa]

Good morning it is the final 24 hours of Fandom Trumps Hate, and auctions close at 8:00PM EST on the 1st! As I write this the evening before close my auction still sits at 30 dollars, but for reasons that may or not be related to getting push notifications on my phone for the news, I am SUPER INTO getting people to donate money to these charities. Weird, huh.

Also number go up = good.

So! I am here to dance my dance again and remind you that I have a fic on offer for you! Minimum of 5k but let's be honest— we've all seen how my fics expand in size. I will write a variety of servers and characters and dynamics, I will strap in and make your prompt happen.

And my friends told me to get really hubris-tactic with this, so it's time to delve into my comments. Have you written fics to prompts before? Why yes I have, and some testimonials from people I've written for before:

First of all, one thing to note is that I have read this (if my ao3 history page is factual enough to go off of) 16 times since it has been posted, and that count might not even be high enough. I am OBSESSED with this fic. 

On my Bagina hurt/comfort: I'm Ready To Shake Things Up (Dear God)

this was WONDERFUL, the character voices are SPOT ON, the balance of them being really funny with the hints of tragedy and with Tommy having a generally very rough time and!!! i cannot compliment the character voices enough, you do such a good Tommy but also such a good Techno and Ghostbur and! everyone! I could read the whole thing in their voices, including the narration-- it was DELIGHTFUL :D i was so excited when i woke up and saw that you wrote me bedrock bros-era tommy fic and it 1000% lived up to it, this is incredible

On canon-compliant bedrock bros: What's A Man Gotta Do Around Here To Get His Manly Hands On Some Gapples?

Wow. This is amazing! I love literally every bit of it. Every individual word! The flow of the story is wonderful and it reads like a published short story (seriously, your writing is amazing). I love how the stakes are set from the very first sentence. And the attention to detail! The science fiction elements! The way you implemented Minecraft mechanics! The LORE!

on Emduo Wilderness Survival Hurt/Comfort: Silhouette Figure In The Smoke

i love the mix of banter and sincerity in their dialogue—from phil teasing techno about being slow to it being turned back on him when /he’s/ the one who gets soaked, old man too slow to outrun some raindrops. and that phil is damp with big wet wings taking up the cabin the whole time. he should shake them out and pass the dampness on to techno as payment for the old jokes. i love their comfort around each other, too—the hugs, the sharing the couch.

on Emduo QPR proposal: Things Could Be So Easy (If You Let Them)

—> and in summary: okay I have such a weakness for bravery in horrible situations and interiority and wild fight scenes and ambiguously happy/worrying endings where the future can’t be set and is possibly terrible but *not yet* and just. my gosh. thank you this is super great. the bee has a HUMAN HEAD

On ranboo-centric syndicate body horror superhero au: The Pros And Cons Of Digging Your Own Grave

The last scenes were so good too? And the number-discord exchange? I'm screaming (inside, as it's past midnight in my timezone). But I know I will be thinking about this fic a lot in the next days and in random moments in the future! It's amazing! It has so many things I adore! It's so well written! Thank you so much for writing this story and sharing it and for gifting it to me! I feel honored and almost crying and laughing, I'm so happy I got to read it ♡ Thank you!!! Thank you!! Edit: it's morning, I'm still thinking about the fic :D thank you again!!

On my Original Work Barista Supervillain/Superhero With A Caffeine Addiction: A World Away (A Step Apart)

Make me dance to your tune! Bid today!

Or! I'm out of your price range or not offering your cubitos, but you still want to give money to charity? I have been the recipient of some incredible spreadsheeting which I have filled into this live-updating spreadsheet of everyone who's offering MCYT!

The notes are just notes to myself to remember which auction it is, but feel free to make a copy and make your own notes! Marvel at the code someone made happen!

Have a good last day of auction, everybody. Let's startle and amaze the charities at how much money we're donating to them.

Let the Auctions Begin

And the FTH auctions have just opened! (How did you post this so early in your morning, Medusa, don't you sleep until noon? Scheduled posts, my friend.)

I would say take a look at the whole selection of MCYT on offer, or cruise through the entire 600 tags of different fandoms, but I am here specifically to point to my auction! Don't you want to donate money to charity and get me to make your prompt a reality? I said any charity would work, so you can choose from the entire list.

I will write: DSMP, QSMP, Origins SMP, SMPEarth, or Original Work! If you've been on this page you know what characters I specialize in (it's emduo, I know this is a shock to us all), but I'm pretty confident that I can take either side of emduo and pair them with any other character, and I could write that. BBH and Technoblade are the light of my life for the duration of the time it takes to write the fic. However, if you look at my Ao3 and say "what I dearly want is for Medusa to write me awesamponk", I'd be fascinated to know if you've been hoping for that the whole time I keep uploading more syndicate (heartbreaking), but also I will give that an honest shot if you win my auction. And I love original work! Make me make up new blorbos that will live in my head forever!

Again, if you've seen my Ao3 then knowing that what I listed as my strengths are: friendship, queerplatonic relationships, hurt/comfort, minecraft worldbuilding, canonical family (qsmp), and humour. I've got that in the bag and I've done that for exchanges and for Voices for the Blade prompt fest. Got a set of blorbos or an original work prompt in that niche? I can make that happen for you with great emphasis. Want the characters to be neurodivergent and disabled? In a relationship that's a secret third thing between friendship and romance? Banter? I got you.

But for this I will also write ship/smut! Again, if you check my page, this isn't my most experienced section, but I have written it before (mostly Original Work), and for charity I will absolutely make your blorbos kiss. Because I was offering Original Work I felt like saying I'd only do gen OW was kind of like not really offering OW as an option, so— gates wide open. Hit me. If you are over 18 and you are donating to charity for this, the sky's the limit. (Note: the sky is not ACTUALLY the limit, I do have a DNW in place about stuff that I'm not gonna be a great fit for, but mostly I deliberately wanted to leave myself as open as possible because it's for charity!)

And in the complete other direction: I will write non-canon family dynamic for this! You really want Technoblade to be a baby being adopted by dadinnit? For You. For Charity. I Will Make This Happen. Tickled by my sense of humour but you wish they were actually family? 🥺 Here's your chance to send money to charity and make a family of your dreams a reality!

A note on Original Work: this doesn't mean that I'll write your OCs, I cannot promise to reliably do that. What it means is that you give me a prompt like "Teenage Girl Turning Into A Werewolf & Her Sister" or "Retired General/His Arranged Marriage Husband Formerly Enemy General" or "Witch of the Woods/Animal Shifter Stealing From Her House" and I will write you an original story following those prompts with characters I make up from scratch. You can check my series on Ao3 to see examples of Original Work I've published in the past! And here is a tag set of hundreds of original work prompts from the Original 5k exchange!

I think that's everything. Send me an ask or shoot me a message if you have any questions! Five and a half days of auctions, let's see if we can get some money raised for charity!

[mer-se]

lil hiatus away