#they rely so much on us being too scared to question shit like that

[rootspiral]

Agatha All Along deep dive: episode 9 part 2

(AAA entries: ep1 [1][2][3][4] ep2 [1][2][3][4] ep3 [1][2][3] ep4 [1][2][3][4][5][6][7][+1] ep5 [1][2][3][4][5] ep6 [1][2][3] ep7 [1][2][3][4][5][6] ep8 [1][2][3][4][5][6][7][8][9] ep9 [1][2])

I'm glad nicky came up with a cool new tune because according to period movies and shows greensleeves is the only song anyone ever knew

look at that meek little smile, ughhhh. nicky is like two days old and this asshole has already figured out he's the perfect prop for her murder sprees. and these poor women are calling her sister and are willing to help too.

the spell is te accipimus in circulum, we accept you in the circle, and yes that makes me cry a little. we accept you in our community. and the spell is yellow air magic, which sounds like the most empathic kind if Lilia is any indication.

that's interesting, you can't really tell that well from screencaps but go rewatch the scene, this witch is making mushrooms grow with yellow magic instead of green?? is it just a spell (she is holding a book) or have I been getting it all wrong and color has nothing to do with the type of magic one has?

or maybe??? the color depends on the coven you're in?? the salemites all had blue magic for example. and now that I think about it the stone circle is a protection spell but it's not red/orange.

the meaning of this scene is so glaring dear lord. agatha was never going to give these women a chance to prove that yes, there are people out there who could love and help and accept her. she has shut herself up to that possibility a long time ago.

and she stole the soup too. awful.

I've seen all the different theories about nicky needing to feed on witches too, or nicky needing soul sacrifices to survive because he's the son of death etc. we don't have enough evidence to prove anything yet, but personally I headcanon nicky as a totally normal kid, that makes this story even more tragic.

and aww that baby suckling on the little pudgy fist

nicky doesn't look that happy about what he's been asked to do, does he?

we establish that nicky was sickly (maybe he was born with some internal defect that rio temporarily patched up?) we also see him steal the bell agatha will use for her Road scam in the future.

and we meet yet another witch being kind and wanting to help.

agatha: I love this six year old so much I'm gonna make him accessory to murder

dO yOU ShaME YouR MOtHER

and the big fake gasp too. as usual this bitch has conned a whole community

like, she's convinced herself that other witches are bad and are after her WHILE relying on witches's good hearts to con and kill them. what sort of mental gymnastics???

color goes from yellow to purple. nicky waits outside while his mom commits murder, it's not a good look on agatha. completely fucked up, actually.

(I'm terrified that the goat will end up being an agent of mephisto or something idiotic like that, lemme tell you. I hope they're just keeping it for milk and company.)

and here's the million dollar question. nicky has seen his mom kill literally since he was born, and now he's old enough to start realizing what that means.

oooh I know that look, that's agatha when she's put on the spot. she avoids his gaze, she can't be sincere with him.

and of course she's teaching herself spells from a book. nerrrrrrd

nicky, bless his soul, appears to give it a good thought and then offers a practical suggestion. I guess he wouldn't mind to have a roof on his head and some friends too.

GREAT acting from kathryn here. the quick OH SHIT face followed by the super final NO, with her jaw so rigid. in typical agatha fashion, when she's upset she becomes avoidant.

this is evanora's legacy. despite agatha's immense love for nicky, she is passing all that pain down and inflicting it on him.

remember when she called billy a survivor? this is the greatest asset in her opinion, the one she wants to teach her son. the truth is, she is angry at witches because she is scared of them, she's scared of being targeted again. but look at that kid's dark circles, I can't believe she's making him sleep in the woods, sick as he is!

really really fantastic subtlety. agatha wants to sound wise and strong, but she looks scared, uncertain, guilty.

see how nicky looks at agatha while he sings? he's checking to see if she's noticing, because his mom likes music and likes his voice. he's afraid he has upset her and wants to make her smile. he tried to reason with her, and now he tries to soothe her. this is what happens when you have an immature parent, a child will want to help, they will try to fix things. they'll end up parenting their parent, and it should always be the other way round.

agatha takes the bait. she's relieved that the conversation has moved to a safer subject. but oh, this script is so good. this is a mostly innocent, mostly sweet remark, but with a possessive undertone. don't forget that you are mine, she says.

and still, the love is real. even in a fucked up situation like this, these moment of happiness are precious and genuine and will linger on. look at how adoringly nicky looks at his mom, she's literally the sun and center of his small world, and that's how agatha likes it: she created nicky because she needed someone who could be hers without any baggage or consequences. but it turns out that raising a child is not a cheat code for love, it's one of the most difficult, most significant and impactful decisions a human can make.

[billsmithbackjr]

revisiting Thunderhead and the first chapter is so funny. The witches come looking for the letter from Nora's father, and then Nora accidentally finds it. In the *mailbox.* dumbass witches didnt even check the mailbox.

[edward-munson]

"Rely on You" - Eddie Munson x f!Reader

Summary: You try to keep yourself away from people only to bump into Eddie at the Skull Rock. You end up getting high with him and inviting him over to listen to some music with you. But there's something about you that makes him drop his shield down.

Warning: Sex, safe sex, cursing, fluffiness. 18+ MINORS DNI

Word count: 4.1k

You found yourself a good place to hide in the middle of the forest, the Skull Rock is probably a good spot to find if you wanna be away from everyone.

Not that it wouldn't expect to have people there, but most of the time it's just you, one of your favorite books and your Walkman.

You played your favorite song as you sat down and kept reading the pages. You were too stressed you couldn't be on school's play because it was already full.

You usually spend a lot of time in the nature, but this was one of those days where you wished you could get away from Hawkins for a while.

Not that you were used to staying away from home late, but it wasn't an option to go back to school after experiencing frustration. It was your way of dealing with things.

You decided to lie down on the grass, not caring about any insects around, and let the music turn up.

It was one of the things you liked most and felt pleasure about, being able to be away from the noise and people, listening to the birds chipping and the trees swaying.

Not much time passed, but when you were almost dozing off, you thought you heard a noise nearby, but with the headphones on it was difficult to know what it could be.

The silhouette that approached almost fell back in fright, and Eddie Munson screamed, completely scared. "Jesus, fuck. Shit." The man held his chest with one hand, while carrying some belongings in the other.

Of course he wasn't the only one who was scared, as with the scream and the sudden approach, you were pale as you tried to catch the breath you lost.

“What the hell are you doing here?”, he seemed uncomfortable with your presence. Eddie didn't have many friends and was almost always walking around alone.

Eddie Munson wasn't very fond of people. Especially after receiving several nasty nicknames, as well as dirty looks from other people.

His coldness became a defense mechanism, especially against girls. They were the ones he used to run away from.

He sat down next to the stone and brought a flask to his mouth, sipping the content quickly. You found his question strange, but you didn't care.

“I thought this was a public place?”, you joked and Munson shrugged.

"Geez, next time leave a reminder. I must have had two heart attacks," he replied, exasperated and you rolled your eyes.

"Sorry, I thought Skull Rock wouldn't receive so many people during the day, in the middle of class." You put your headphones away and heard him mumble something.

"Normally not, but I think it's becoming a common thing these days."

The two of you spent too long without saying a word, something that was already bothering your throat. He clearly wouldn't open his mouth to start a conversation, in fact he would never do that. At least he thought.

"Do you smoke weed?" he asked, as he assembled his own roll. His eyes narrowed and the first thing you thought was “where did his shit come from”.

You shook your head, whispering "no", while he remained focused rolling his smoke.

And again the two of you were sitting distinctly far from each other without saying a single word. Eddie wasn't in the mood to talk to you, especially since he only knew you as a classmate and not a friend.

But then again, it shouldn't hurt to smoke once. Eddie noticed when you stood up, approaching him, as he looked at you strangely.

You took the object from his hand, without really knowing how you would do it, and inhaled it. The smoke, at first, burned and you coughed a few times. He laughed, he was already used to the reaction from the first drag.

"You're gonna feel relaxed soon" he said as he inhaled again.

A few minutes later, as he said, you were left feeling like you weren't completely sane. The taste of weed in your mouth left it much drier than you expected.

His calm, low breathing gave you a feeling of fullness. You could see from the corner of your eyes that Munson was already feeling the breeze. But he was already used to it and knew how to deal with the sensation.

Without saying anything, the two of you just enjoyed the weed stone, talking and rambling things that you might not even remember later.

Sitting next to him, you inhaled all the air, filling your lungs and letting it out immediately. Something extremely random came into your mind.

“What’s your favorite shampoo?”, you asked, almost innocently. When he finished the smoke, he was surprised by your question, laughing.

"My shampoo? What kind of question is that?" Munson propped himself up by his elbows at his side, looking asthe sky startedto change colors.

"Eddie, your hair is from like a diva. Yes, what's your favorite shampoo?", you repeated the question and he seemed to think for a moment.

"From a diva? What? It must be from a well-known brand, I know it smells like mint," he explained, being surprised by your sudden attitude of smelling his hair.

By tangling a few strands of hair, you traced your nose along the length. Eddie looked at you with a strange look, but laughed when he realized it was the effect of the marijuana.

A roaring noise brought you both out of a weird trance, and you realized you were starting to get hungry.

"Hey, let's eat. I'm starving!", you gathered your things and waited for him to take his and left.

You had to have smoked something to believe that inviting Eddie Munson to have dinner with you would make sense. Because until then, that guy in front of you avoided any kind of interaction.

The two of you entered a Burger King, catching some people's attention with the way you laughed aimlessly and were distracted by little things.

As you sat down at the table already carrying your snacks and drinks, you didn't wait long to start devouring the food in front of you.

Eddie watched you with amusement, he knew that the first few times of marijuana caused a terrible desire to eat.

"My God, this is the best burger in the world!", you exclaimed in a slightly louder tone than normal, causing curious looks.

Laughing, Eddie agreed, looking closely at the way you focused on enjoying your snack, distracted. He still didn't know why you were also away from the city, in Skull Rock, but he imagined that something might be bothering you.

When the effect wears off, you'll realize that you made the most of your stoned time with Eddie Munson, and your reaction would be a big "what the fuck happened?".

As soon as you two finished eating, you invited him to go listen to some music at your house, since you found out that he liked rock bands and you were also a fan of some that he used to listen to.

When you got home, you were still stoned, the effect of marijuana slightly working its way through your system, as you opened a bottle of wine to share with the metalhead in your company.

The two of you sat at the kitchen island, enjoying the music playing on the radio you turned on.

"So why were you alone?", Eddie asked after a moment of silence, while you both enjoyed the red wine. He looked around your house minutely, noticing every detail.

"Ah, school stuff. It doesn't matter to those who don't care," you made it clear that you didn't want to get into the subject, at least at that moment. "And you?".

Munson downed the wine glass in one gulp before filling it with more liquid. He kept a friendly expression, but deep down, a little bitter.

"Ah, I'm already tired of this Hawkins school. Very superficial people, the guys care a lot about their appearance. I have no patience," the guy explained.

You weren’t as high as you were before, but you agreed with him. You knew that people really were futile, many cared too much about status, so he was right.

"That I agree. I've seen the guys making fun of you sometimes, it's just plain ridiculous. They think they're so important", you say as he agrees with you. He didn't look like someone who would just be an asshole for nothing, he wasn't exactly one after all.

Out of nowhere, as you were just enjoying each other's company, you get up from your stool and you grab his hand, pulling him upstairs as you make your way to your bedroom.

Eddie proclaimed something inaudible as you entered your room and stared at your bass hanging on the wall, covered with its case. The sound coming from his mouth made you look back at him, who was mesmerized at the sight.

"No fucking way you own a bass!", he said as his eyes brightened. He got closer to it and looked back at you. "Can I?".

You nodded and stared at him, who happily and carefully took the bass off the case. Munson seemed too distracted as he trailed his fingers against the object, mumbling words you couldn't hear.

As he sat on your bed and held it closer to him. He's obviously seen one before, especially because he's in a band. But the fact he knows a girl owns one, made his heart flinch. He was a sucker for girls with tastes similar to his.

And it was a fucking Fender Bass, he was definitely dreaming.

"Wanna hear me play it?", you asked as you went looking for your small amplifier and he was still head over heals with you.

"Fuck yeah, I want!", he seemed too carried away. Eddie handed you your bass and you sat next to him. You started playing "Nothing Else Matters" by Metallica and you heard him giggling.

He was definitely enjoying watching you as you played the notes perfectly, you were humming the lyrics so you wouldn't get lost on it.

He started singing the song along with you and you locked eyes, he smiled at the action.

The fact you could play so perfectly even after being high and drinking alcohol made you realize how good it felt to be interacting with someone like Eddie. He was just something else, he was nice, gentle, and he was fun to talk with.

You never realized he was this cool, but you've always knew he was different from the others at school. He didn't give a flying fuck about what they thought of him, he didn't bow down for the guys who would make fun of him.

As you got up from your bed and started playing around your room, Munson kept the rhythm, banging his head as you played the last few notes of the song.

He looked impressed by you, he looked like he was enjoying a private show and he was your groupie.

"That was fucking awesome", he said as you finished the song and rested your bass on your wall.

"You think?". He was still smiling at you and your cheeks flushed.

"That was hot, actually". Munson stared at you as he got closer. "So hot I think I might want to kiss you right now".

The way he said it made your stomach sink inside your body and your skin shivered at the way he was looking at you. It felt intense, but at the same time, there was intimacy somehow.

It didn't honestly feel like he was only doing it for fun, or playing a game with you. But either way, you were a little drunk and your body was feeling hot because of the alcohol.

The actual mixture of the alcohol and the tension between you two started making you feel like kissing him too.

So you did. You did it first, wrapping your arms around him and tip toeing as he was taller than you.

You crashed your lips against his and Eddie wrapped his left arm around your waist as his other one cupped your neck. His frizzy hair smelled like mint, definitely making you short of breath, and his growing beard was gently scratching your skin.

He opened his mouth to explore your tongue and the touch made you groan under him. Munson chuckled slightly as he started twirling his tongue around yours, nibbling on your lower lip.

You tried to focus on the moment, but your thoughts were distracting you from enjoying it entirely, because the way he gently embraced you and kissed you made you feel dizzy.

His smell was going to be stuck on you, his cologne and his smoky Hellfire Club shirt was sticking to you like a magnet. You trailed your hands between his curly hair and it felt like silk, Eddie started to feel his own skin crawl with your touch.

You didn't know if it was right to actually lay down on your bed with him, but at that moment if felt good.

You were slowly pushing him against your bed and he hit the back of his knees on the mattress. Munson broke the kiss only to look at you, he was confused as fuck honestly.

You made him hit his back on your bed as you started to climb above him, smiling. He knew it was okay to be intimate by the way you grinned at him and he pulled you for another kiss.

It was still gentle but this time it had a hint of lust, and the way he pulled your hair against his fingers made you moan.

You weren't much of having sex with guys out there for pure pleasure or just for fun, there was always a feeling behind it. It wasn't like you dated a lot, and at that point, if you dated five people, that was a lot.

But with Eddie something seemed to be different, the energy he transmitted was different. He didn't have malice, he didn't have the ego of a person who just wanted to fuck you and leave afterwards, without talking to you.

You undressed easily because of the alcohol, but you didn't care if it looked like desperation. He stared at you as if you were a monument, your chest rising and falling quickly due to the lack of air from the kiss, the way the bra perfectly covered your breasts made him excited.

You helped him take off his shirt and looked at his chest. He wasn't sculptural, he wasn't spotted, but he was striking, quite striking.

The fervent exchange of glances brought a different energy around you. There was desire there, but it wasn't desperate.

Eddie lifted his torso and kissed you again greedily, his plump lips covering yours perfectly. His agile tongue dancing against yours left you desperate for more. His large but delicate hands rested on your waist as they moved to remove your jeans.

You had to separate from him to take off the piece of clothing, seeing that he took advantage of the moment to repeat your gesture. He never took his eyes off you, not even for a second, to get rid of his pants.

The bubble surrounding you caused a furore, the air was already becoming dense, while the exchange of glances burned against your bodies.

When you lay on top of him again, Eddie didn't want to waste any time, grabbing your ass with both hands, squeezing them with desire.

His mouth against yours made him let out a grunt, as he rubbed his already hard member in his underwear against your core.

It was becoming difficult to breathe, not only because of the kisses, but because of the way you both trailed their hands down your bodies, both waists rubbing against each other.

“Fuck, that feels good,” he hissed as he cupped your ass, grinding against your body. Munson was on the verge of exploding, his body was starting to sweat and he no longer wanted just provocation.

You gave him a long kiss before separating your bodies, looking for a condom on your nightstand. It wasn't like you would ever bring a guy into your room, and even if he was saving some, you already had it in hand.

Gently covering his cock after removing his last piece of clothing, he took the opportunity to try to undo the clasp of your bra, looking at you intensely.

His dick throbbed at your touch, precum already dripping down his skin as you slid the condom down his length.

He trailed his gaze all over your body, while you focused on giving him a few minutes of pleasure by stroking him, before sitting on him.

He was waiting for that, he was grateful that the marijuana had already worn off, because he would have difficulty getting hard.

But when he saw you positioning yourself against his tip, Eddie helped you by holding his dick. You leaned in for a lust-filled kiss, your breasts crushed against his skin and he let out a delirious murmur.

When he placed his tip at your entrance, you hissed against his lips, he had already entered a trance that left him scattered, focusing on your small walls.

Slowly you accommodated yourself on his length, sitting inch by inch until his whole cock was inside you.

You watched as he rolled his eyes back in an act of pleasure, holding your hips tightly, marking your skin with his short nails.

You started slowly riding him as he thrusted against your core, his cock was somewhat thick but not too thick so it would slide perfectly inside you.

"Oh God, Munson", you whined against him. You were still riding him slowly, your walls already clentching each time his tip with your core.

He was on cloud nine at this point, his mumbles coming out of his mouth as he tried to catch his breath.

You kept your pace still, trying to gather every feeling inside you, the way he was thrusting against you holding your hips, and the feeling of his cock inside you was mind blowing. Obviously you've felt like this before, but for some reason it felt ten times better with him.

He was careful, gentle, smooth. He wasn't desperate, he didn't slap your ass only because it was everyone's kink, he didn't curse or used dirty words. It was honestly passionate, and you liked it either way.

As soon as you began to sit on him less delicately and more willingly, your sensitive clit pressed more eagerly against his skin.

In fact, the position brought you more desire, as his tip banged hard against your core.

Eddie was on his own little word as he would groan and hiss every time you pounded against him. His thrusts were getting sloppier each time you rode him faster. One of his hands cupped your breast while the other one was still holding your hip.

"Fuck, this is so fucking good", he slurred against you. You caught him by surprise when your body rolled over him, the movement giving you every kind of pleasure as possible, while his cock matched your rhythm.

The more you rocked, the more sensitive your spot became, and the more Eddie tried to hold back the mumbles he wanted to utter. He was very scandalous, he wouldn't be able to hold back.

You cupped his face against your small hands as you started to trail small kisses on his jawline, cheeks and neck.

You wanted to devour him but this wasn't actually appropriate right now, so you just kep nibbling on his skin.

You could feel a lump on his throat as you kept leaving wet kisses on his skin. Your body was all sweaty and you felt numb for a second when his cock hit one delicious spot inside you.

It made you growl his name, making him stare at you with lust.

"Fuck, don't stop Eddie", you cried. You were both panting, the loud noises of skin slapping against each other filling your bedroom. He pounded on you harder and it hit you again.

He didn't stop his thrusts and kept his pace until he noticed you started melting down on his touch.

A heavy wave of pleasure took your entire body and you started to shiver when your release hit you so hard you had to clench around him.

Munson almost yelled by the way your cunt embraced him as he started to tremble under your body. He gushed inside the condom and you felt his length throb inside you, washing over his protection.

Both of you were still trembling from the orgasm, trying to relax as the pleasure was still taking over your entire body.

He was still inside of you and didn't move an inch, just enjoying the moment before it was definitely over.

"That was so hot", he murmured against your ear, while you remained lying on his chest. You smiled at him, he repeated the gesture, gently grabbing your lips, biting your lower lip.

He thrusted against you suddenly and you grunted, surprised by his action. The pleasure still enveloped both of you and his gesture almost made you want to keep riding him, but you were so sensitive that you no longer felt the strength to continue.

"You're wonderful, Eddie", you said under your short breath and it caught him off guard. He shyly smirked as he pecked your lips.

"You're amazing, (Y/N)", he affirmed, leaving your cunt empty as he looked at you before cleaning himself up. "Next time before this happens, I would like to go on a date with you".

"I'll hold that thought", you joke as you dressed yourself with your underwear and his Hellfire Club shirt.

"Ouch, you just hurt my ego", Eddie played along as he dressed himself as well and you laughed.

You and Eddie lay down on your bed, both still catching your breath after a while. You stared at your ceiling, feeling his warmth close to you.

"Say Eddie, do you usually bring girls over?", you asked curiously.

"Not even if they wanted to", you heard him snort.

"Why not?", you lay on your side and look at his expression. He scrunched his nose to your question but answered anyway.

"Like 96% of this hellhole thinks I'm a freak. So I just don't. They either invite me over or I just find a motel or something".

The way he explained it felt really personal, but you couldn't agree more with him. People usually tend to look at him like he's out of this world.

"This is what makes you more special. Because you're not like them", you stated, gently. He chuckled at your thought, though.

"Yeah, not being like them... that's what makes it worse".

"I thought you didn't care about what they thought".

"I don't. But that doesn't mean I feel welcome everywhere", he sounded bitter. It definitely caught you off guard.

The man who usually wears a shield and uses ignorance as self protection suddenly let his guard off.

You stroked his jawline and he closed his eyes to the touch. You had no idea what you were feeling right now, but it was definitely compassion for him.

He seemed too vulnerable, something he didn't seem to be around other people.

"You're a great person. You should rely on your friends and on the people who care about you". He thinks you're unbelievably drunk as your words hit against his skin.

But the way you look at him says otherwise. You were cherishing him at the moment.

For the past few hours you were with him, you've never felt more comfortable around a guy. Obviously, besides Steve and Jonathan and your other male friends.

He cupped your chin and gave you a wet but honest kiss. It felt like heaven. He just studied your reaction to his kiss and breathed you in.

"You're one of a kind, (Y/N). Thank you for that", Munson said after he parted your lips. He gave you a kind smile and rested his forehead against your small hand.

He seemed pretty lightheaded, he was too overwhelmed by what happened and he really wanted to see you again.

This time, he wanted it to be a proper date, he wanted to get know you better, he wanted to see you play your bass more times. Eddie just wanted to have you around, as he felt like you could be a really great company for him.

[mrsnegan]

Only If For A Night

[Soooo...yes, I might have yet another obsession with a fictional, emotional unavailable man, haha. This is just a little drabble for you. I still write for Negan, of course. In the meantime, I hope you also enjoy this little fic. If it isn't your cup of tea, feel free to scroll past it.]

Summary: Joel has a nightmare. You try to make him feel better, make him forget his demons, only if for a night.

Warnings: angst, brief talk of trauma, smut, blowjob, fingering, unprotected p in v, f!Reader on top, creampie, cockwarming I guess?

You woke from heavy breathing and occasional grunts coming from the makeshift bed on the other side of the room.

Joel had insisted to sleep on the sofa, offering you the bed for as much comfort as this world still beheld. He was gruff, not a big fan of casual conversation, but he was a man of his word, one you could rely on, the only one you trusted with your life. You had met some months ago during a smuggling mission and had worked together since. Your new job required you to transport ammunition to one of the safe zones well outside of your usual territory. It was risky to say the least, but you needed the reward. So here you were, finding shelter for the night in an abandoned house. Joel must have fallen asleep during his watch which was very unusual for him. You rubbed your eyes which slowly adjusted to the darkness around you. Your bare feet touched the wooden floor and you shivered. As soundless as possible you made your way towards Joel who was fast asleep, one arm hanging down the sofa, the other draped across his eyes.

"Joel?" you questioned carefully, your fingers lightly touching his arm. He still breathed heavily, unevenly, and with your next touch to his heated skin, he jolted awake and upright, eyes wild with fear. You had never seen him like this, it made your blood freeze.

"Jo-Joel?" you asked again, this time very timidly, carefully.

He seemed to wake up fully, recognizing you. With a deep sigh, he rubbed his hands over his face.

"Sorry for scaring you, t'was a nightmare..." Joel's voice was heavy with sleep, barely above a whisper. "It's always rough 'round this time of the year."

This time of the year.

He talked about when the world turned to shit. You had heard about his past, about what happened to his daughter, but never asked him anything about it. It wasn't your place to talk with him about such traumatic things.

"It's okay, you're awake now, I'm here."

He scoffed at your remark, his eyes not meeting yours.

"That's sweet o'you, but it isn't somethin' you can influence. It's my issue, has been for a very long time. I'm used to it."

You huffed at his statement, deciding to ignore it, carefully sitting down beside him.

"Go back to sleep, it's still dark outside", he tried again, but you just shook your head.

"No, won't let you sit alone with your nightmares."

Joel's eyes met yours, his icey stare bore into you, he was pissed you could tell, though it seemed too tired to really make a scene.

"Wasn't an offer," he just spat, voice cold and distant.

"Mine neither", you stood your ground, meeting his gaze with equal determination. Before you could think about it any longer, you leaned into him, pressing a soft kiss to his lips.

At first he didn't respond, didn't move a single finger. When you pulled away to look at him again, he just looked at you, a mix of surprise and anger plain on his face.

"Told you to go to bed."

"No. It isn't your decision to make, Joel. You're always in charge, always functioning. You're not okay. And I won't sit around or sleep when you're hurt like this."

"You're not my wife," he said, nearly muttered under his breath.

"I know," you just mumbled, heart beating fast. Of course being someone's wife wasn't on your list, it held no special meaning in this fucked-up world, though you couldn't deny the feelings you had developed in the last few months. The need to help Joel, the need to touch him, to touch his body and his heart, to make him smile, if only a little, to make him feel good...it was hard for you to ignore this need, this pull you felt towards him. Even harder now that he really needed comfort even if he would never ask for it because he was so used to deal with his demons all on his own.

"Just let me...," you tried again, your hand resting lightly on his arm. You felt him tense under your fingertips, not used to a tender touch either, your tender touch.

Joel didn't meet your eyes, his gaze was fixed on your hand. He seemed to fight with himself, not sure if he wanted to push you away or pull you into him.

"Joel," you whispered, making him look up to you. "Please, let me make you feel good. Let me-"

You couldn't end your sentence, Joel's hand grabbed yours on his arm, before he brought it to his lips, pressing a kiss to your fingertips before letting it go.

The shaky breath you drew in was the only sound in the abandoned house. Lightly, carefully, your fingers grazed his lips, his cheek, before you leaned in again to kiss him. This time he kissed you back, slowly but he did. The kiss lasted a long time and grew more passionate with every passing second. His hands wandered from your hair to your shoulders, downwards to your hips and urged you to stand up and straddle him.

His hands were all over you while you ground down on his lap, feeling his hardening length through your trousers. He grew impatient by the second, clawing at your clothes while not breaking the kiss. This felt better than any wet dream could prepare you, better than what your imagination came up with in lonely nights.

Your lips wandered downwards, kissing his jaw, his neck, his collarbone. Meanwhile your fingers undid the buttons of his shirt, one by one, exposing his chest to the cold air. Noticing the goosebumps right away, your lips kept kissing his skin, feeling him shiver.

"Fuck," he mumbled, when your nails grazed one of his nipples, followed by your tongue.

With every downward motion, you also slid down further, sooner than later landing on your knees between his spread legs. He looked so handsome from your perspective, cheeks heated, mouth agape, eyes wild.

Biting your lip, you undid his belt, then the button of his trousers and the fly. When you motioned to help him pull them down, he stopped you.

"You don't have to do this."

Heart still beating fast, your desire got the best of you, kissing his hard length through the denim of his trousers.

"Shit," he swore, his head lulling to the side.

"I want to, so much," you answered him, face mere inches from his groin.

"It's yours, darlin', c'mon, make me feel good," Joel finally exclaimed, voice thick with arousel.

You didn't have to be told twice. With fast movements you helped him pull his trousers down towards his ankles, his briefs went with it too. When your eyes met his hard cock, your mouth watered. He was a sight, packing exactly what you always imagined.

Experimentally, you kissed his tip, tasting the salty precum. Joel's moan was music to your ears, so your fingers grabbed the base of him, stroking his length with enough pressure to make him shake above you.

He was silent except for the occasional moan and curse, enjoying your touch, the feel of your hand around him, pumping him just right. When your lips finally closed around the head of his cock, his hand flew into your hair, anchoring himself.

"Fuuck-," he managed to say before you went down on him, swallowing as much of him as you could at the first go. Feeling the wetness between your thighs, you kept bobbing your head, taking him deeper and deeper with your movements. What didn't fit in your mouth, you stroked with your hand.

Joel was much more vocal now, his own thighs tensing with the pleasure, fingers still woven into your hair.

"Shit, so good. Such a good girl, fuck, feels so...gooood."

The deep sound of his voice made you tingle all over, moaning around his length with the praise he gifted you with.

"Up, c'mere," he demanded after some moments, guiding you away from his throbbing length by your hair.

"Take off your clothes, darlin'." He let go of you, lips puffy and eyes hooded and he didn't need to tell you twice. With shaking fingers, you got rid of your trousers and underwear, pulled your shirt over your head and made quick work of shedding your bra. Meanwhile Joel, not taking his eyes off of you for a heartbeat, drinking in every inch of your skin, got rid of his already open shirt and kicked off his trousers and underwear still stuck at his feet.

When you were cold at the beginning of the night, you only felt heat now, naked from head to toe, bare and vulnerable, but the gaze Joel gave you made you feel anything but. You felt like a goddess.

Straddling him again, your wet center came in contact with his length which pulled whimper out of your mouth and quiet curses out of Joel's. His right hand travelled from your cheek towards you neck and from there down, down, down, groping your breats, finding its way over your stomach to your dripping pussy.

Two of his fingers stroked you while your eyes fluttered shut at his ministrations.

"Look at me," he exclaimed, voice deep.

Your eyes shot open, locking with his just in time for his fingers to enter you. He met no resistence, sliding in perfectly, fucking you slowly.

"Fuck, darlin', you're so wet, y'hear that?"

He pumped his fingers a bit faster now, the sound of your wetness obscene in your own ears. With your mouth agape, your hands flew around his neck to anchor yourself, your hips kept moving with Joel's strokes, like having a will of their own.

"That's it, fuck y'self on my fingers, just like that."

"Joel," you moaned, feeling him curl his fingers just right, his thumb coming down on your clit, flicking it with the right amount of pressure to make you see stars. Your hips stuttered, clenching around his fingers when you came with his name leaving your lips.

He held you steadily in his lap with his other hand by grabbing the flesh of your hips, pumping his fingers time and time again before he retreated them.

The bliss of your orgasm clouded your mind, your legs and arms felt like jelly, your heart beating so fast, faster than you were used to. You didn't register Joel lifting you up a bit to position himself at your entrance, stroking himself, coating himself in your juices. You didn't register it until he pushed into you, pulling you down, down, down, impaling you on his girthy length. He was a tight fit, stretching you deliciously.

"Fuck, Joel," you babbled, cock-drunk, and so full of him.

"Yeah, I know. Shit, you feel so good, so tight." He kissed you, tongue licking at your lips and slipping past them. His hands embraced you, keeping you safe and secure while he bottomed out.

His heated skin against yours, his hot breath against your neck when he broke the kiss to nip at your skin, his heartbeat, fast, so fast against your own chest, you could have died then and there.

Hands still around his neck and secure in his embrace, your hips kept lifting a bit before sinking down again. The movement made him moan, his cock dragging across your walls deliciously. It didn't take long for you to increase your movements, bouncing on his lap. His hands grasped your hips, helping you lift yourself up and down, up and down.

"Like that, darlin', just like that", he mumbled into your skin, occasionally biting at your sweaty flesh while the next high kept building inside of you.

"Joel, I'm gonna...," you warned him, riding him faster and faster.

His hands held you still then, pumping himself into you with sharp thrusts upwards, driving the air out of your lungs.

"Go on, cum on my cock, sweet thing, c'mon."

One look into his stormy eyes and you came shaking on his lap. He fucked you through it, praising you so sweetly, only his rough voice gave away how close he was himself.

"Don't," you babbled, letting him guide you on his cock, faster and faster, chasing his own high.

"What?" he breathlessly asked, gaze fixed on your face.

"Don't...pull out."

The moan it ripped from him, this one little sentence, made you unravel again in his arms, cock still pushing into you time and time again against that spot.

You felt him tense under you, moaning your name when he came, forehead resting against yours, giving you all he had to offer.

And then he fell silent, your unsteady breaths the only sound. He locked eyes with you again after a while and you could see a faint smile painting his lips before he shook his head.

"What?" you questioned, insecure all of a sudden without the adrenaline of arousel. You motioned to stand up on wobbly legs, but his hands pushed you down, keeping you impaled on his softening cock.

"Don't," he said, voice low and spent, "Stay."

His lips found yours in a soft kiss and your heart ached. You knew with the first sunlight this side of him will be gone again, his soft touches and heated words, his kisses. He will be the ever grumpy and cold-hearted Joel, so you decided to enjoy this as long as you could, letting him wrap the blanket next to him around your cooling bodies, embracing you with warmth.

[crushedsweets]

Hey, it’s your least favorite anon. I wanted to ask you about the different rivalries in your AU. I know there is Jeff vs Jane and Slenderman vs Zalgo but I was curious if there was others?

-Your least favorite Anon

ooo this is a good question.. i havent thought too much about this before i started writing so this is just my thought process as i go LOL

the operator vs slenderman is THE BIGGEST rivalry there is in my au. them fighting is what drives half the cast

toby and the rake have CRAZY BEEF toby has a MASSIVE claw-mark scar down his back from the rake. he's literally wrestled on the ground with the rake and beaten it with a stick. he wants to kill it but he never can LMFAOOO its like a fucking looney tunes bit. maybe even tom and jerry. toby is tom.

toby also doesnt like sally very much, again bc ghosts scare him (lyra reminders) and bc sallys mean to him. sally doesnt like him cuz he's mean in return LOL

jack and tim dont have a rivalry exactly but tim is kinda meaner to jack on the basis of jack being a demon. thinks less of him cuz of it. jack knows he does, but doesnt do anything about it

nina does eventually hate jeff, but she's a bit tied up since she's now friends with the proxies, but the proxies rely on ben, and bens besties with jeff, so nobody can touch jeff without pissing off the proxies.

im obsessed w ninakate now cuz lesbianism, BUT they arent canon in my au since i dont want any relationships (besides mary and jane) to be canon/'endgame'.. BUT IN AN AU WHERE EVERYTHINGS THE SAME BUT I CANONIZE NINAKATE nina would be hard beefing with ann . i literally just drew a comic today about nina following kate on a patrol, kate finds ann, and nina gets all upset and antsy about ann 'flirting' w kate. LOL. SO NINA AND ANN R HATERS. i think ill make them hate eachother in my normal au too.

honestly i tone down the jeff vs jane rivalry a lot. for a lot of years she is driven by hatred and wanting justice, but she eventually starts to settle down with her wife, accepts that it is unlikely jeff will be brought to justice once she learns about the paranormal involvement, and focuses on helping families with cases that can be brought to justice. . .

everyone kinda beefs w jeff besides ben. jeffs incredibly lucky that ben is so useful in retrieving/deleting police files, cctv footage, black market shit, credit card info... etc etc , otherwise they'd have killed jeff. but alas. cannot upset the little boy

[final-girl96]

Broken World: Chapter Six

Next Morning

I helped anyone who needed help the next morning. I took notice right away that the women did most of it. The cooking and washing of clothes, taking care of the kids, was all the women's responsibility. I helped take the clothes down to the lake to be washed and was about to help wash them when Shane called for me. "Hey, yn!" I smiled at Andrea and excused myself to go over and see what he wanted.

"Wanna come with me to do a sweep?" He asked. I raised an eyebrow in question. "A sweep? Of the perimeter?" He nodded his head. "Yeah, just to make sure there aren't any walkers roaming around. Makes everyone feel safer." I hummed and looked back at the women behind me, washing clothes, talking and laughing together. I wasn't much for girl talk or being in groups. When I looked back at Shane, he averted his eyes right away and cleared his throat.

"No. I'm going to stay here and help those women over there since none of you men seem to know how to wash your own fucking clothes. That's the role here, right? Women do all the work while the men sit on their asses." I saw his jaw tick and his curled into fists. "Is that everything Office Walsh?" I looked him in the eye, daring him to say something. He just sniffed, turned around, and walked back up the bank to the camp.

Later on in the day, after I helped the girls with the wash and got to know them more, he stopped me and asked if we could talk. I agreed and followed him to where the cars were sitting. "I want to apologize if we have given you a bad impression of us. Look, the women here don't know how to protect themselves. They don't know how to shoot a gun. Andrea acts like she does, but she doesn't know how to properly use the gun she has. They rely on us to protect them. Me, Dale, Jim, Morales, and two who are out hunting are the ones who know how to properly use a gun."

"So why don't you teach them how to protect themselves?" I asked. "They're too scared. They know if they do get into trouble that they need to go for the head. When they go out into the woods, they know to stay in the perimeter we set and to carry a knife at least. Someone is always keeping watch at all times."

I hummed, "Well, they should still be taught how to protect themselves a little better. But you're the boss so…" I pushed past him and back up to the camp to help get dinner cooking. It wasn't that late in the day, maybe only three or so, but it took a while to gather fresh ingredients, stuff that was safe to eat that we found in the forest. And then the fact we had to cook on an open fire and the number of people we had to feed, it would take a while until it was done.

I was sitting talking to Amy, she was a little younger than I was, she had just graduated college when everything happened. Her and Andrea were going on a road trip to have some sister time together when Dale found them on the side of the road. Their car had broken down on the side of the road when Dale came along and saved them from a group of walkers.

Everyone stopped what they were doing when there was a sudden rustling in the woods. The kids stopped playing, running to their mothers, and hiding behind them. I stood up from where I had been sitting and looked over at Shane. He had his shotgun in hand, and I pulled my own gun from the holster on my belt. More rustling came before two people, men, walked out carrying a string of squirrels each. My jaw dropped at who I was looking at.

"Holy shit! Would you look at that little brother, it's the bitch who put me behind bars!" I looked at Merle fucking Dixon with a glare. Everyone had backed up into a group and watched us. "Merle, I see you're still alive. I thought you would have overdosed by now or gotten yourself killed." He walked towards me and as he did I caught Daryl's eye. He looked at me with shock before it turned into hatred. Merle got in my face, "you little cunt, I outta kill you!" I pushed him back, "back off Merle."

"Or what…" he looked down at my badge and scoffed. "Detective." He turned to Daryl and scoffed out a laugh. "You believe this, little brother? Your little girlfriend here is a detective now." He turned to look at Daryl, but he had walked away to start on the squirrels he had. Merle turned back to me. He went to poke a finger in my chest, but I grabbed his wrist, twisted it behind his back, and kicked the back of his knees, making him drop to the ground.

"If you ever try to put your hands on me again, Dixon, I will not be afraid to feed you to the fucking walkers. Honestly, I'm surprised these nice people have agreed to let you join their group. I'm sure by now they all know what a racist, sexist, drug addict scumbag. Do they know that you were a suspect in a murder case? Hmm?" I looked at the group, the woman had shocked looks on their faces, pushing the children further behind them.

"Do maybe the charges of sexual assault, public indecency, armed robbery, car theft, drug, and DUI charges you have? No? Yeah, I didn't think so. I'm sure they know you're an asshole, but I don't know what kind of person you really are." He tried to get out of my hold, and I twisted his arm more. "They let you in because you have the skills to hunt, which means that helps fee's people. But I'm not afraid to bet that your plan when you came by these nice people was to rob them blind overnight." I let go of him, pushing him forward into the dirt.

Shane looked at me with his brows raised, "You will know each other?" He asked. "You could say that, yeah. We all lived in the same town. Haven't seen them in years, though. The Dixon family doesn't have a good reputation. They were really tight with the police in town. Isn't that right, Daryl?! I'm just some pig!" Did I have a lot of hate and hurt in my heart right now at Daryl cutting me off the way he did? Yes. One hundred percent absolutely yes!

[breezypunk]

2069-2082: Diary of a merc

2069: You were confused. You felt more alone than ever before. At only 19 you thought you had the world at your fingertips, but everything changed. You met a guy and you thought you were in love, but he turned out to be a prick. You relied on him for everything, you even told him your deepest secrets. He used it against you, and most of the clan ultimately turned hostile when seeing you around. You were hurting, emotionally more than anything. Is this what it felt like to be a burden?

Time to join snake nation! Except for you it was time to escape. You thought you could handle being on your own, it was better than being with people who wanted to see you at your worst. No, this was your time for freedom, to find people who accepted you for who you were, not what others wanted you to be to fit the mold, not what people thought a "proper" Bakker should be. You are a nomad, you are a fighter, you spent 4 years on the run searching for a place to call home. But you were alone, and it felt like a roller coaster. You ran into people who helped you briefly, you stayed in tents and abandoned trailers until you finally made your way to a place where you were destined to change your life. You found Night City, and maybe it was finally time to retire your nomad roots. You just wanted to rest for once in your life.

2074: Night City has been an interesting experience for you. You'd only been there for less than a year, and already found yourself with many enemies. You didn't know there were so many gangs walking around, but you found a home with The Mox. They took you in as one of their own when you had nothing to your name, some nights you barely remembered your name. Getting drunk and forgetting the bad shit was your calling. You frequented around Lizzie's bar for two months before being found by Susanna Quinn, who just became the new owner of the bar. You were grateful, but you were scared and understandably so. You were offered a job as a bartender to try and get back on your feet, and even started a small fling with Susanna herself when late nights after the bar was closed, you two found yourselves in her office talking about your pasts, and eventually one thing led to another. It wasn't based on true feelings, touch was always your love language, and you didn't know what real love felt like, you just wanted to feel like someone cared, you let anyone who could give you that in, even when you knew it was pretend.

You are a street kid, or rather.. you inherited the traits of one. In the back of your mind you wondered what it would be like to be a nomad again, where your true freedom really lies, but than remembered freedom was taken from you during that time. You just wanted to find yourself, and you are on the right track. You are accepted by your new friends, you knew The Mox would take care of you. For years after, you'd never forget who was there for you when you were at your lowest point.

2077: Things went ass up for you, and not in a good way. You found yourself in a lot of danger, but most importantly, you're quite literally going insane. Moving to Night City was suppose to be a positive change for you, but somehow, someway, Vaughn Leblanc always manages to find himself lying face down in a pile of cow shit. Question is, how do you find your way out? You meet someone. He begs you for help, and maybe you can hardly hear him because you're too busy staring, but he knows you need him as much as he needs you, and right now you're pretty much digging yourself a grave, with Johnny Silverhand on your left with a second shovel. You thought you were gonna make it in this world, you managed to get a job doing merc work, you found yourself an apartment, you were making the big bucks, kiddo. But nothing ever goes as planned in your life, and when did it ever? You had a choice, die or live. You wanted to live, and your talking emotional support brain tumor wanted to help you.

Times are officially tougher than they've ever been, but you're tougher than you've ever been, you had no choice. You lost everything, and it was up to you to find it, to start over and have this last chance to make something of your life before it was too late. You are a lone-wolf. You walked a lonely road, and lonely it was. It was a lesson well learned, you needed that taste of loneliness to get you were you are today. You were always a lone wolf, it just took you a long time to admit you liked it.

2082: After everything you've been through over the last few years, you've finally managed to find some peace in your life. You have obstacles, a lot in fact, but it's nothing you've never been able to get through. You've built an empire with your found family, to be there for each other and lean on each other through tough times, something that you've never experienced before moving to the big city. Running away from a group of people who couldn't have cared less was the best thing to ever happen to you.

You fell in love for real, you spent five years with someone who helped you understand what love truly felt like. You settled down and even got yourself an apartment and became a cat dad. You could finally rest if you wanted. Of course there's never any rest for the wicked, and you still have a lot of unfinished business. But your life was starting to finally have some meaning, and you were happier than you'd ever been. You are a nomad forever, you spend a lot of time out in the badlands and you spend time protecting your clan, The Aldecaldos. You're comfortable there, you're comfortable leading with your best friend Panam, and it took time to feel comfortable, and sometimes you and your family don't see eye to eye, but you will protect them until your last breath, there's not a thing you wouldn't do for them.

Jackie would be proud.

[oscarisaacasimov]

I watched Encanto last week was because there was nothing in the world I wanted more than a by-the-book Disney film. I wanted to space out in front of something lovely and unchallenging. I was hoping for pantomime villains and minimal character development and maybe an amusing animal sidekick.

I was NOT expecting to be completely and utterly emotionally dinsintegrated.

Nothing in the promotional campaign led me to anticipate an all-singing, heart-skinning technicolor vivisection of generational trauma. Encanto -rather like its heroine - utterly bombs at being what it’s supposed to be.

And that’s okay. It’s more than okay.

……………………………………………

If you think that already sounds really very heavy for a cartoon musical, you’re not wrong. Encanto claims to be a family film, and it is. In the exact same way that Gone Girl is a rom-com. Because right away, something feels wrong with this story. 

Part of the genius of Encanto is that, on the surface, it all so looks normal and happy. Everyone’s smiling and dancing! There’s music and color and fun! And much like in a real family, young children will only see the music and magic and rictus grins. There are elements of Encanto that are truly adult in the way that no age-rating system can grasp. Sex and drugs and violence are simple, but working through generational pain is the real grown-up shit.

……………………………………………

There are cracks in the foundation of the house. Cracks that nobody will talk about. Everyone is so scared of it all falling apart again that nobody will see the danger. In a dysfunctional family that’s not ready to heal, there’s no worse crime than asking awkward questions. That’s what Mirabel spends most of the movie doing, even though it might get her shunned, just like her Bad Uncle Bruno. Because in the Madrigal family, as in so many others, if you name the problem, you become the problem -and the structure you relied on to save you suddenly becomes treacherous.

In the most frightening part of the film, Mirabel has asked too many awkward questions- and suddenly, the sentient, all-seeing haunted house that has protected her all her life turns against her. She falls through a rotten floorboard over a terrifying drop, and screams for the house to save her.

It won’t.

So Bruno does.

He never left. He’s still in the goddamn walls, eating the leftovers and spackling over the cracks in secret, because he thinks he’s hurting people with his visions, but he still longs to be part of the family that rejected him. He has made himself a little place setting with his name on it where he can pretend he’s still eating dinner with his mum and sisters. He lives in the walls and the rats are his friends.

Bruno is a twitchy, tic-riddled disaster in his mid-thirties. He’s been bullied and blamed for most of his life, and it hasn’t made him mean, but it has made him sad and strange.

So if Bruno isn’t the villain, who is?

Which brings us to the Abuela problem.

A young woman stumbles out of a living hell of grief and violence and struggle with her babies on her back and promises that whatever it takes, nothing will hurt them, ever again.  She builds a fortress out of that trauma to protect her family from danger, and it works - but over time the fortress becomes a prison. Violence breeds in silence. Secrets harden into shame, and everyone is trapped together by duty and by love with too little money in too few rooms.

This whole story is a commentary on how toxic relationships can limit people’s horizons. Between them, the Madrigals have more than enough power to remake the world outside their valley, and instead they spend their whole time getting on each other’s nerves in a giant house made of metaphor.

……………………………………………

As the story of Encanto builds to a crisis, and Bruno’s visions lead Mirabel to a final confrontation with Abuela, the whole house collapses, almost crushing the family. They survive, but the magic is gone - and so are their powers. It’s about the most devastating, darkly adult moment I’ve ever seen in a kids’ film.

And then Encanto remembers that it's supposed to be a Disney movie. Disney movies are the promise that challenges can be overcome, that the heteronormative nuclear family wins the day, and that specific forms of love conquer all. 

In Encanto, the fairytale fights with the fearful truth right up until the credits roll. The narrative leads us inexorably to a place where the only way for our heroes to truly grow and learn and change is to leave that big broken house behind and go back to the world. And that’s a big problem. A story where magic and the power of The Family don’t fix everything might be healing and powerful and true, but it's not a Disney film.

So the writers chose to give us all the happy ending we wanted but didn't need. In a rushed finale sequence, the Casita comes alive again, Bruno for some reason apologizes to everyone, the Madrigals get their powers back- poor Dolores!- and they all just  move back into the house like nothing happened.

It’s a perfect Disney happy ending- and it feels wrong. But I'm not sure it was the wrong choice. For one thing, it makes it clear that the traditional happy ending isn't always happy for everyone. For another - well.

The version of the story where they just put the big broken house back together and don't talk about the difficult things ever again is pretty damn plausible. They wait for a wedding or a funeral or another high-stakes occasion lubricated by the Booze of Truth, they clear the air, and the next day they clean up the blood and the bruises and broken windows and become that seamless, smiling Disney family again.

[skepticalarrie]

Can you explain to me like I'm 5 how Louis being publicly single is this horrible thing? Taking Alycia out of the equation for the moment, I really don't understand why some ppl think it is absolutely necessary for Louis to stunt while he is closeted. Surely, 10 years of stunting and the recent big father performance has solidified his closet enough that he can at the very least have a little time off from full time stunting. He is most likely going to be mia until tour and then he'll be touring so I don't see why he needs a gf (that's if eleanor is out). Idk I guess I wonder, don't we as larries wish an ultimate stuntless existence for hl. Why do we keep emphasising the idea that it's necessary that they stunt. Obviously that's what the industry and society tells them and expects from them but we don't have to agree.

Hahaha I can try! Although I don't think we need to agree on everything, anon. "We as larries" are not a unit, please feel free to have your own opinion, it's totally okay, and I'm not here to dictate or convince anyone. It's just a matter of perspective sometimes...

I don't think they *need* to have stunts, and much less I want them to have stunts. I obviously don't. I just don't think it's realistic to think they can be stuntless and still closeted, that's just not possible. Maybe let's try to see things from this perspective: What is happening right now with babygate could be an attempt to solidify his big father performance, as you said, to a point he wouldn't need a girlfriend to keep his sexuality out of the table. He could be trying to get rid of at least one of the stunts while maybe trying to regain some control of his image with babygate. After all, they literally faked an entire pregnancy and parenthood in order to assure his heterosexuality, that's how scared people were of it. The reason babygate happened is entirely connected with Larry and as time goes by, this gets more and more obvious, especially because larry denials always come with babygate talk, the last one being the ultimate proof IMO - when Louis said that "larry rubs him in the wrong way" and "I love my son" on the same fucking breath. Girlfriends were not enough to shut down the rumours, that's how deep the gay shit goes. But is it enough now? Would he really exchange elounor for babygate? Maybe just liking girls' pictures on instagram is enough to have his heterosexuality assured? I don't have the answers, but it scares me how this works in a long term. I don't particularly think Louis' fanbase cares too much about that, but Louis' sexuality being a topic of discussion connects him directly to Harry. Unfortunately, it's as simple as that.

Let's say they're not out for the next 10 years, and they decide to go beard-free. They would need to work so much harder against rumours, how much further Louis would have to go with babygate to try to shut it down?! How stronger Harry's womanizer image would need to get? How much of their freedom this would compromise? Because of their history in the band, it's tricky for them, they can't just stand still while being closeted, they need something to balance rumours out with some sort of narrative that goes the opposite direction. I don't like the fake girlfriends, but they do make things easier. Because people would eventually notice how there's nothing there in their romantic lives to talk about and it would raise questions. I mean, they're very rich and famous well-looking guys, there's always something. There's absolutely no way both of them can go for long periods of time without stunts, it's too conflicting with their closetings. Not to mention that, from a marketing point of view, girlfriends were always used as a way for people to identify with it and market the songs. What Louis is doing with FITF is huge! But he does kind of still have Eleanor to rely on, it gives a lot of plausible deniability. And like I said multiple times, I think Eleanor being there is harmless at this point, it leaves him in a very comfortable position. So, one way or another, stunts will need to happen eventually. Because I don't think they're coming out any time soon. So all I'm doing is trying to be realistic here, and just hoping and praying for the stunts to be the least traumatic as possible 🫠

[doubleddenden]

Decided to try something different with a schedule I make for my friends in a discord server I'm in.

Going forward, I'll be posting my Toonami Schedules on my blog as well, and my DD ScheDDules too. That's just a little silly schedule I make.

Oh, the "meDDia" section is something I usually do when there's a rerun. In our server, I kinda have free reign over this part, so usually I'll look up a funny video that kinda fits the theming. This go around, since I'm feeling the love for DBZ again, I thought it'd be fun to try some fresh DB content we haven't gotten on the actual Toonami block. I decided to post ep 1 and 2 here since this is my first blog post of the schedule.

The graphic is definitely new for me. I found a font matching the Toonami font online, found the old Toonami emblem/logo, and from there I googled space pictures and did renders and edits in paint.net to get the result you see above. Thinking about changing the colors and doing a little more editing, but not too bad for my first attempt at one of these, right?

Some QA and disclaimers below:

"Why do this?"

I'm not really sure tbh. This kinda became my role in the server I'm in. I try to keep on top of the schedule and changes so everyone else can be informed or make other plans if they like. I wasn't the first to do this in my server, nor am I the only one able to do this, I just... I dunno, kinda did it so the others can catch a break? Life's tough and I like being relied on. I'm the schedule guy now

"Tf is the DD Schedule?"

Well, I am DD. The DD Schedule kinda started just as a little joke a year or two ago, again, I just kinda joke and shoot the shit. Some of my friends get upset with me if I forget or don't do the silly schedule, so I reckon if it makes them happy, I do it.

Sometimes it's good for recap. Sometimes not. Depends on the mood. It's just harmless fun and I like being silly.

"Why the inaccurate Japanese?"

Since Ninja Kamui is subbed, I basically just run my original Ninja Kamui bit through Deepl since I was told it is slightly more accurate than Google translate. No harm was meant if it comes off wrong. In other words, Sub is basically the same as Dub but slight differences.

"What are the numbers and projected end dates?"

Something different I decided to do with this schedule is to keep count of episodes and a possible end date for the season or series on Toonami. The Projected End Dates- PED- is subject to change for marathons that may happen. In fact, I'm pretty sure we're due for a Ninja Kamui marathon or 2 for when the series ends its current run, as they tend to do other originals.

"Why the graphics?"

Dunno, thought it'd be fun to try something different for a change. The schedule I post in our server is usually just text, so I figure this would spice things up.

"Why no time listed?"

Because I live in Central, some if my friends don't. Just assume the schedule starts as normal unless stated otherwise. For me that's 11:00pm central.

"Tf is Nart?"

It's Naruto, that's just my pet name for it.

Couple disclaimers

1. I am not a toonami employee. Just a fan. I have limited data per month and can't watch anime as much as I'd like, so Toonami is a great way for me to watch new things I haven't seen that I can't find on youtube or something.

2. I'm not a mod or admin of this server, more like a town crier or janitor.

If you have questions, feel free to message me and I'll answer whatever

3. Our server is a psuedo fan server, not official, and it's really more of a "whatever" server depending on the mood we're in, from Toonami to streamers to games and shows, etc. None of us are affiliated with Toonami in any official capacity and it's mostly us goofing off about whatever or watching Toonami on Saturdays. It is an 18+ server, fair warning- we try to keep that stuff in the designated channels, but *some* people are gremlins, so it can scare some off.

[sorryaboutyourwindow]

Okay okay okay I’m gonna let my ego take over for a bit and answer these for myself cuz these are fun to think about-

1. Three things that shaped me into who I am. An old pocket watch my aunt got for me in Taiwan with my Chinese Zodiac on it, a Snow Globe that’s decades old now that was a baby shower gift for me/my mom, and a plaid brown blanket my grandma got me from London when I was three. I guess they’re all constants in my life and maybe I’m taking a more symbolic approach to this question but it’s fine.

2. Picture of my handwriting.

This was brainstorming for an engineering model project I was on a bit ago.

3. 3 films I will never tire from. Grosse Pointe Blank, Tangled, and Mean Girls.

4. Inside joke. “Poot poot, im scared”

5. I was a Pinterest girlie that relied on uploads but couldn’t keep up with this one Haikyuu comic, I forget who it was by but the ship was sakuatsu. Eventually I caved and made an account and now we’re here.

6. Best/worst part of being online. Never being able to get away from people. I’m an extrovert and love my friends, I’m just bad at dealing with people and need space. It’s nice I can talk to them whenever tho!

7. What scares me the most and why. Eternity. I am terrified of the unknown and what’s to come after all of this shit and I don’t know if I could live with myself forever, but I love to exist so so much and don’t think I could ever be ready to not if you know what I mean?

8. Reoccurring dreams. There’s this one, it’s more of a nightmare if anything, of being trapped in a beach house during a hurricane and I’m in the corner watching a blonde woman holding her son to try and save him. It’s short but I don’t know where it came from or why it sticks around.

9. Story about my childhood. I have always had the tendency to be a bit of a control freak so I would often just end up playing by myself because I just got annoyed. I used to play in my grandmas garden and pretend that I was a fairy or witch and shave chalk into powder to make “potions” and “fairy dust” and climb their trees to pick pecans. There was this one time I was kinda in my own little world and they had a porcelain dove on the bench, and I went to pick it up to acquire another familiar. This little bitch had a hornets nest inside of it so when baby me went to pick it up, I got stung smack dab in the middle of my palm.

10. Am I emotional. Yes, very, but at odd times. I get worked up really easily and passionate about the smallest debates or subjects but then if I go to break up with someone I don’t shed a tear. Yet somehow, every decision I make ends up being with my heart instead of my head despite how analytical I try to be.

11. What do I consider to be romance. This one gets its own few paragraphs.

In short, romance is when I’m so consumed by the person that I don’t care about what anyone else thinks. Ive dated a girl for two years who turns out never had feelings for me, I dated a guy who was my best friend and ended up being my stand partner for the rest of that year, I got groomed (all the same year btw). All of those kinda sucked for me and looking back there’s a good chance we were using each other and I was kinda embarrassed to be seen out in public with them let alone be affectionate.

I hate the sappy shit, hate the cheesy dates, hate the stereotypical rom com romancing because I just thought that was embarrassing. But right now it’s like really fucking weird for me cuz I have a boyfriend that I actually am actively proud to be around and show off to my friends and will lean on in public and don’t give a shit if he kisses me in public. It’s really fucking weird but really fucking nice, he loves the cheesy shit and honestly I’m starting to love it too.

12. Advice. Don’t make it official before the first date, set boundaries and restrictions with yourself on how physical you wanna be with a person on that specific date, if you’re scared to confess just do it and move on to rip the bandaid off, no “I love you”’s until at least the fourth date uhhhhhhhhhh

13. What am I doing right now. Eating spicy ass soup I made. It’s so good.

14. Something I’ve always wanted to do but too scared to. Tell my Abuela I cannot stomach her cooking. That or skydiving.

15. What do I think of when I hear the word “home.” That Edward Sharpe song.

16. If I could change one think about myself what is it. My tits are two different sizes, I just want my bras to fit okay.

17. Three things that make me happy. The beach, bookshops, and hanging out with friends after events when it’s really fucking late and hey we’re in the city anyways.

18. Do I believe in ghosts/aliens. As much as I would love proof, I’d like to keep a bit of hope out there for either. We don’t actually know what the afterlife looks like nor if there’s life out there in an infinitely expanding universe. Cannot qualify or disqualify, plus it’d be cool if they were and I wanna be hopeful.

19. Favorite thing about the day. Sunrise, it’s so goddamn pretty and it’s especially nice if you’re seeing it with someone.

20. Favorite thing about the night. Stargazing, I can never do it because of light pollution, but when I’m out in the country I’m genuinely in awe.

21. Am I spiritual. Spiritual as in there is something greater than us out there, not religious.

22. 3 things about someone I love. He’s strong, not just physically but like he’s been through some shit and I’m proud of him for still being here. He actively tries and seeks criticism because he just wants things to be as good as he can possibly make it for someone, doesn’t matter what. He’s an extrovert, and gets along with people, and gets along with my friends and it’s so sweet to see him interact with people.

23. 3 things about someone I hate. I don’t hate him, I’m just hurt. He has a right to want me out of his life since I definitely fucked up. He doesn’t realize there are other smart people in the room. He never actually acknowledged that I’m not stupid.

24. One thing I’m proud of myself for. My body, baby me would be proud. I dealt with an eating disorder for a while and it’s been a slow recovery process. But I get compliments on how I look now and I fit into the clothes that I want to and goddamnit I’m proud of my stretch marks. I’m proud of my body.

25. Favorite season. Spring, I’m a plant person and it’s just a season of rebirth and it’s summer without the temperature being in the triple digits. I love it.

26. Favorite color. A sunflower yellow, it’s just bright and cheery and pops and I love it.

27. Nicknames. Isa mostly, but my little sister accidentally called me Isi once and I loved it but it hasn’t happened again.

28. Collection. Trinkets for my bookshelf, cool guitar picks, books I want to read, and Starbucks mugs from cities and countries I’ve been to across the world.

29. What do I do when I’m sad. Play Angus and Julia Stone and turn off my lights and stare at the ceiling. Or call a friend and binge rom coms.

30. One thing that never fails to make me happy/happier. When my boyfriend texts, it’s stupid and cheesy but goddamnit I love talking to him.

31. Messy or organized. Messy in my room like I actually cannot walk in here, but control freak organized with my bags and files like I will never not know where something I need to use is for work or school.

32. How many tabs open. Just on my laptop, over 76. On my phone, it’s 67 in one tab group and another 38 for Ao3.

33. Hobbies. I play upright bass, electric bass, guitar, ukulele, harmonica, piano, and sing plus love going on deep dives on plants and space shit. I also surf, kick box, love to read, garden, and follow LFC.

34. Pet peeves. When someone messes with my cooking to check if it’s done immediately after I say “give it a second it needs more time.”

35. Trust easily. Yes, it’s gotten me assaulted twice.

36. Open book or walls up. I have really really really bad rbf to the point where a lot of my classmates are scared shitless of me if I correct them, but if you get me to start talking I’ve probably told my entire life story like sixty times but just not all to one person.

37. Secret. I kissed him.

38. Fave song atm. Red Wine Supernova by Chappell Roan.

39. YouTuber I’ve been obsessed with. Omahdon I think was the name. They did ow comic dubs a while back and I binge watched them when I was sad.

40. Bad habits. I pick at scabs and cuticles, I have never once finished my tbr or been over 10% of catching up, I forget to bring down my mugs of tea, and I never fold my clean laundry. Ever.

OH MY FUCK IM DONE BYE

questions I think would be fun to be asked

what are 3 things you’d say shaped you into who you are?

show us a picture of your handwriting?

3 films you could watch for the rest of your life and not get bored of?

what’s an inside joke you have with your family or friends?

what made you start your blog?

what’s the best and worst part of being online/a creator?

what scares you the most and why?

any reacquiring dreams?

tell a story about your childhood

would you say you’re an emotional person?

what do you consider to be romance?

what’s some good advice you want to share?

what are you doing right now?

what’s something you’ve always wanted to do but maybe been to scared to do?

what do you think of when you hear the word “home”?

if you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?

name 3 things that make you happy

do you believe in ghosts and/or aliens?

favourite thing about the day?

favourite things about the night?

are you a spiritual person?

say 3 things about someone you love

say 3 things about someone you hate

what’s one thing you’re proud of yourself for?

fave season and why?

fave colour and why?

any nicknames?

do you collect anything?

what do you do when you’re sad?

what’s one thing that never fails to make you happy/happier?

are you messy or organised?

how many tabs do you have open right now?

any hobbies?

any pet peeves?

do you trust easily?

are you an open book or do you have walls up?

share a secret

fave song at the moment?

youtuber you’ve been obsessed with and why?

any bad habits?

(this post was stolen from @teenage-mutant-ninja-freak, since it couldn't be reblogged anymore)

[lazynoodlepuff]

Sometimes I look at my mother and I can't comprehend how she can love me and support me in my depression, in me living abroad and with money so I can be a full time student and yet

And yet more or less disapprove and be disgusted by who I am (queer) and what I belive (leftist stuff and inclusivity) or my tattoos (I'm gonna get cancer and die allegedly)

How can someone love you but not approve of you. Not accept you. How can someone live you and raise you with care and respect and then turn to passive aggressive sending you posts from people who hate who you are "just to consider it"

Can she not see the cobtradiction? Does she not realise that the people her authorities hate are people like me?

How can you love me and say you support me but then silently disapprove? I see it in your eyes and your voice. I see it in things you send me. Sometimes you tell it to me directly

And I still love you and rely on you but I tried to change your mind. I tried so hard but you don't listen to me you don't belive me. You strangers online who use pseudo scientific language but you don't belive me. I try to talk to you but it only cause me distress and leads nowhere, you listen as I speak but you don't hear me.

So I give up

And I love you and you love me but not the whole me. Not the parts of me you choose to not see and the parts of me I learned to hide

You look at people like me and you sneer with disapproval at their open queerness

You tell me directly you disapprove of my vaccines and that covid wasn't real

You repeat racist moral panics to me

You sit next to a friend telling the most outrageous conspiracy theories and you nod thoughtfully because "there might be something to it"

And I have to wonder when did you change so much? You used to be one of the smartest most inquisitive people I know. You liked science and history and art and you were thinking critically about things. Or so I thought with my mind of a child

You said you lived me no matter what, even if I fail at school or go to preason

Tonight you sent me an article about homosexuality being caused by the lack of zinc and copper

When did this happen? I don't live with you anymore and you are changing more than I know. In a way maybe it all kead to rhis with your alternative welness obsessions and yet

I always thought you were better than fall for that, belive people who know how to use few smart words and make you scared or "just asking questions"

Maybe getting you a Facebook account was the biggest mistake of my life. It's always Facebook links you send me, I know there's a lot that radicalised you

And we can still talk. About food, about weather, about freinds we have. Or at least your friends, I rarley tell you about mine anymore. They are thsoe "gay agenda" queers you disapprove, they are like me.

I avoid talking to you about society of politics when I can,it never ends well. It's always me who ends up feeling like shit and distressed.

I love you Mom and I don't understand how can you love me, or say that you do (I know you do) but hold so much contempt for me (people like me)

I know how it happened, or I think I do, I know how radicalisation happens but I don't understand how it happend to you.

Maybe if I didn't move abroad and leave you alone it wouldn't have happened

But again, maybe it would. Maybe it wpuld have pulled me in too

I love you and but I don't understand how can you love me but not who I am

[skinni-girls-eat-books]

Wednesday November 15th

9am Somehow got on to self care/ girl blog/ pink aesthetic tumblr and I'm loving it lol. Woke up feeling amazing. I think I could almost not have him on my mind constantly, at least for a day or two. I don't really feel the need to text him anymore. He's become really immature and like a shell of a person, and I just don't think he's my type anymore really. He's either numb from meds or seriously narcissistic and an *admittedly* chronic cheater? He also treats his parents badly and thinks people who are actually dicks are worth his time and energy (wanting to fight ppl I would literally not give a second thought to? Wtf) I just want a person who can match my energy and man he really sucks at doing that.

Last night I was thinking about the whole yolo mindset vs always thinking about the future and I think you just need both to be happy and successful. If you just have one, it makes it hard to be present in your moments. I think I truly have struck a good balance, of course everything can be better though. I just really think he fumbled the bag and honestly, sucks to suck. Plus he still sucks at communicating to the point where it's hard to be his friend. I'm sorry I don't want to play 20 questions over text messages just to learn something you could've told me in two sentences. It's really childish still. This is another reason I am just bored texting him now, it's like pulling teeth so whatever I'll back off. I'm done chasing someone who ran away because they were too scared to work on themselves and own up to their actions. I need someone who acts like a grown up I'm sorry, and if you want to tell me that's a bad thing or it's boring, I'm telling you it's not, it's called being someone I can rely on and share equality with. We can still have fun, we're not losers, we're just responsible and can be held accountable for doing our shit without being micromanaged.

5pm Just got home and it's still raining. He apologized again today, but it's just words bro I need someone who is gonna show me they're sorry. He just can't give me what I need in a relationship (straightforward communication where I'm not pulling teeth for information please my anxiety is high enough will you just tell me wtf you're doing?? Literally takes 15 seconds.) 15 seconds to avoid a day of anxiety and fretting. I need someone who will make my anxiety calmer not just keep jacking it up. I'll stay single until I find that someone :) I know how to keep myself in check so fuck him he's still missing out.

I need to stop tensing up so much and clenching my jaw. I also need to stop expecting that trash can to sprout a garden 😂 just go look for a garden that already exists ❤️

5:30pm I tidied up a little and fish sticks are in the oven! I think I might have some OCD. I need to remember that not everything has to be perfect for me to use the kitchen. Because doing a deep clean in the kitchen before every meal causes me to *not cook* because in my brain things aren't ready or suitable. These fish sticks are still going to taste 🔥

6:43pm I had dinner and now I'm laying down. Life is good and nobody can take that away from me.

[caffeinated-rants]

10/11/2023 - Narcasistic Mornings

Another morning where my mother was on one for no reason right from the moment she woke up.

I have been accused of getting up 10mins before I'm supposed to be at work, for treating her "this way" despite it not being specified as to HOW I'm treating her, never giving her time in the mornings to warm up the car especially now as its getting colder, etc. and how she's done with it.

Was told that she doesn't like and hasn't likes me ever since I started getting therapy and was put on escitalopram (generic for lexapro) and BusPIRone HLC as it supposedly has changed me as person and I'm not the same as I used to be after she berated me for the car not being warmed up and asking what her problem was.

I told her "if you don't like me then why did you choose to have me?" and she kept her rant going the entire 2min drive to my work.

I'm too scared to fucking drive but I also don't want to deal with this anymore. My dad... as much as I want to trust him, things from other members on his side of the family have made me question whether its even a good idea to move in with him if I were to go that route. i don't want to move in with my sister because my nephew is a rotten brat and her own views on relationships and attention are something I don't want to be around either. Her twin has her own family and I wouldn't be able to keep my cats if I moved in with her and I certainly will not abandon them.

My grandparents are too old to have someone move in with them, as well. My 84yr-old grandfather is taking care of his 80yr-old wife who is going downhill with dementia and has to have family members sit with her if he needs to leave the house because she can't be alone.

I want out so bad but with every option not sounding right and my fear of driving, I feel so fucking stuck. I'm finally starting on the path to get my voice back and as a result I'm verbally berated for it and told I'm not me anymore due to it.

My supervisor at work is going through a similar emotional manipulation from her husband and it makes me wonder if I should ask her if the two of us should look for a place to rent (she has two/three dogs, I'd be taking my three cats) but at the same time I don't want to burden her with me not knowing how to drive, relying on her to give me rides to all of my appointments, etc. That isn't fair to her and she already has a son who doesn't have a license either. It'd be a double whammy.

I'm just stuck. As my therapist and psych said, I have a wooden stake stabbed through my chest but I'm too afraid to have it taken out so the wound can be cleaned and begin to heal.

I'm scared to be on my own. I never had real parenting. I'm scared to drive because of accidents I've been in and how bad the locals and out-of-towners (ie. flatlanders) drive these days with all the road rage and tailgating and lack of proper blinkers... I can just see myself getting hit even just as a passenger in a car. I have confidence that I'd do fine as a driver, but its the people around me on the road that scar the ever living shit out of me and make me fearful to drive. And even then, my mom's truck is trashed and my friend's PT cruiser that we bought when she moved was put into my mom's name at the behest of my grandpa due to, again, my lack of driving.

I want to cry but when I try to or feel it about to happe nit literally makes me sick.

[deceptive-daydreams]

whyyyy are you doing this to meee this is the dream!!! the idea of him seeing you try to pay for something and being like "absolutely not" and swooping in cause his baby doesn't pay for a thing??? THROW ME OUT A WINDOW. I got so carried away by this.

i can see like early on in the relationship you haven't moved in with him yet and still live in a little apartment in a shitty part of town and he swears you are the one like has never felt this way about anyone before but he really tries to refrain from suffocating you with his love because he doesn't wanna scare you away. As the relationship grows he hangs out at your apartment in the evenings when you come home from work exhausted and he just loves on you and gets you takeout cause you're so tired and life has just been stressing you out with all the bills and living paycheck to paycheck. He knows that struggle all too well from his upbringing and he can't stand seeing you suffer that way cause you're his baby and you deserve to be spoiled and treated like royalty.

You've been to his house before however you dont get to go over there a lot because of how much you're working but lets just say its fucking nice. It's not super big but its so homey and also screams eddie with the metal posters everywhere and guitars and such. He even has a little pool and a hot tub that you never get to enjoy with him because of how busy you are. He can't take it anymore, he feels like you're so beyond overworked and he will not have it.

One night you're laying in your bed with him complaining about work and all the bullshit thats been happening lately and hes just playing with your fingers, putting his rings on yours and then back on his, just back and forth fidgeting cause hes nervous to ask his question. As you're wrapping up a story from another shitty work situation you're like "that's so fucked up, right!? i've been keeping an eye out for a new job though so hopefully-" and he cuts you off cause no, you won't be getting a new job that will only stress you out, not if he can help it. "Move in with me." he says suddenly. You just turn to look at him like he's insane and before you can protest he's like "no, I'm serious. Move in with me. Let me take care of you, I can't watch you do this anymore." He's super sincere about it and his eyes are all big and pleading. You go on to tell him that you can't do that, you need to make it on your own and it lowkey turns into a fight. You're telling him that you're not going to rely on a man for your wellbeing and saying stuff like "do you think that lowly of me?!" and this is not how it was supposed to go, he just genuinely wants to see you happy and doing all the things you want to do that you never have time for because you're working.

He cups your cheeks in his hands and is like "baby, I think so highly of you, I just wanna give you the world. Please let me. Let me give you all the things I never imagined I'd ever be able to." You still get defensive about it cause he's not just asking you to move in, he's asking you to quit your job and basically run away from your current life which....that's not so bad cause your current life is shit but its also so scary because its the only normal you know so how could you just up and leave it?? You turn him down and let him know that you just can't and he respects your boundaries so after that he leaves it. He still hates how miserable you are but he still wants to be there for you as much as he can. It fucking sucks cause when your car starts acting up he just wants to take it in and get it fixed cause there would literally be no financial burden on him but for you, it would cost like months of rent. To work around it, he says he'll fix it cause he has so much experience with cars and even works on his own all the time. He has it towed to his house where he can use all his tools and stuff in his garage and while he could secretly just take it in somewhere to have it fixed, he doesn't want to upset you if you found out cause he knows you would try to pay him back and he knows you'd find a way to see how much it costs and it would just add to your stress. He doesn't mind doing it himself anyway, its therapeutic so he has it up and running again in a few days.

He loves that you're so independent but it doesn't change that he just wants to shower you with everything you could ever deserve. One day he waits for you at your apartment to come home from work, he has a key and everything and he's setting up a little after work dinner date, nothing too crazy but he brought over an expensive wine for you to try and he can't cook for shit but he's trying to learn so he makes spaghetti and meatballs for you. When you step in the door, he's all excited and running toward the door to greet you, the room actually smells really good and he even threw together some garlic bread and he's super proud of himself and he's excited to see your reaction. Only when he sees you, he stops dead in his tracks because there are tears and mascara streaming down your face and you have one of those frowns that you get when you're trying not to cry but the tears are stinging your eyes. He gathers that you cried all the way home and are trying to hold it together in front of him. He just rushes over and scoops you up to hold you on the couch in his lap and you can't contain the tears anymore, you just start sobbing into his chest while he rubs your back and soothes you. "I've got you, I'm right here." He doesn't even ask for an explanation, he's just there for you and he hopes that when you're ready, you'll tell him but if not, that's okay too.

You're still full on crying, snot and all when you pull back to tell him through a wobbling voice and sniffles "I-I can't do it anymore." And he has an idea of what you're referring to but he just nods with sympathy in his eyes. "Life sucks s-so bad. Don't wanna do it anymore." You would be hiccupping and getting yourself really worked up like almost not breathing. He would shush you gently and cradle your jaw in his hand, the tears slipping down into his hand and say "Baby, you need to breathe, okay? Gonna make yourself sick." and he would help you with little breathing exercises to kinda calm your nervous system. It would work a little but you're still super upset. He sparks an idea and if you yell at him again then so be it cause he just wants his baby to enjoy life and not come home crying more often than not. He would pull your head into his chest again and just whisper "Come live with me. Please. You can quit this job, find something new that you actually like." He tries to reason with you because he knows from last time that you would absolutely not just up and leave without any plans to help pay for things even though he won't allow it. "Eddie, I can't do that to you, I don't know how long it'll take me to find something decent." You would tell him sadly although its a much different reaction than last time because it sounds like you might be on board in some way if you could work things out how you needed. "Sweets, I can't watch you do this anymore. I'd much rather you quit and take some time to find something you actually love than stay here and be sad every day. Come stay with me, you don't even have to get rid of your apartment if you don't want to but just come stay with me and decompress. Let me spoil you a little bit while you figure it out. That's all I want." He sounds so genuine and is talking so softly its making you melt.

Eventually you work out a little deal where you'll stay at his house and search for work in the area. You use up the remaining money you have to keep paying rent on your apartment that you don't even use anymore. Secretly Eddie goes to the leasing office and pays off like a year's worth of rent and gives you your money back. "What this for?" you would ask as you looked at job listings while lounging around at his kitchen counter. He'd just shrug and kiss your cheek. "Don't worry about it." But you will most definitely worry about it. You get heated again and finally pull the information out of him and he admits that he got your money back and paid off a year for your apartment so you wouldn't have to give it up should you decide you don't want to stay with him permanently. It's the sweetest thing anyone's ever done for you but you come at it raging because he shouldn't have to do this. You're trying to argue with him but he just grabs your hands calmly and is like "Listen. I had nothing growing up, I lived in a trailer park in the middle of nowhere." You're not really sure why he's going into this, you knew this from all the late night talks where you'd just lay in bed when neither of you could sleep. "I always had to decide if I wanted to eat or if I wanted to keep the lights on. And I'll be damned if I let you go through that or anything similar to that. I don't wanna spend my money on fancy designer shit or brand new cars. I want to spend it on you and making you comfortable and happy because now I can. I never thought I'd be able to do that for someone but I can now and you're my girl. Let me take care of you in the ways I never even dreamed I'd be able to take care of someone." You start crying again because what the fuck no one has ever been so sweet in your entire life and you're like what did I do to deserve this???

He's there wiping the tears away and nudging his nose against yours. You still don't want to give in but he's so damn sweet and he's being so vulnerable with you, this is something so personal to him. "I'm still getting a job and paying my half." You choke out. He just agrees because it'll make you happy but little do you know that whenever you give him any money he puts it aside in its own account for you. You end up working at a little flower shop and its beautiful, you get to be creative and you aren't stressed beyond your limits every single day. He visually sees that you're happier and you have this glow to you. One day you're both on his couch after he came home from a recording session and you worked late at the flower shop because you'd been working on some arrangements for a big event. You're both so tired and snuggly just watching some stupid movie while snacking. He's got you in between his legs and his thumb is stroking your hip, you both forget about the movie and just start talking about endless things. It comes up that you'd like to start your own little business some day, possibly your own flower shop that also sells cute little things from other small businesses (like soaps, art, etc.). Maybe even have a little coffee bar in it. He sees the way your eyes light up and he just smiles so softly down at you. He puts you both in a position where you're sitting criss cross in front of him and he's doing the same in front of you. "Let's do it then." he says like its the most obvious thing in the world. You scoff cause you don't have even a fraction of the money saved to start a business.

He pulls up a banking app on his phone and starts tapping his fingers away before setting the phone in your hands. You look at it all confused and he's just staring at you all dopey and cute but you have no idea why. He blurts out "It's yours. Every penny you've given me to cover bills. I put it away for you." You gasp when you realize how much money has built up in the account. You want to scream at him but you also know that he didn't do it against his will, he did it because he wanted to, he never does anything he doesn't want to. He's super stubborn even when it comes to his record label trying to tell him what to do. Again, the waterworks start and you collapse into him. He starts telling you "I know you don't like that I do things like this but you're my girl and I can't help it." He would press a kiss to the top of your head and you would pull back to look up at him and just grab him by his shirt so you could kiss him with so much emotion. That night you just make love to each other for hours, you can't keep your hands off each other. You don't know it but he's also planning on buying you a ring really soon and he's going to buy the one that he's seen you stare out when you've been out with him. It's a simple ring that's more dainty than anything and it doesn't even cost a lot, he just sees the way your eyes grow every time you pass that same shop and see it in the window and he knows that he's going to get it for you.

After that night you have less trouble letting him do things for you. Obviously you avoid it if you can but you don't scold him every time he slides his credit card over to pay for things or when you find out he's paid off a loan you had taken out a long time ago for that time you went to cosmetology school a few years ago that didn't end up working out. Suddenly the balance is zero and when you call to clear it up they tell you its been paid off. You make sure to give him the best head of his life but then also complain a little because you feel guilty that he took care of it. He shushes you by shoving his face in between your legs.

Idk why but my mind suddenly thought of the idea of sugar daddy!rockstar!Eddie and now its all just brainrot

[asstrolo]

𝕗𝕣𝕖𝕤𝕙 𝕠𝕦𝕥 𝕠𝕗 𝕗𝕦𝕔𝕜𝕤 𝕨𝕙𝕒𝕥𝕖𝕧𝕖𝕣 (astrology notes)

it's my mars return, i will no longer hide my opinions

Listen to this song while reading this non fact-checked astrological nOtes🎶🎶

Let's get started, bombarulina

👹 whoever said Pisces placements are liars, you're completely right I'm only a Pisces mercury and I lie unprovoked

👹 actually cardinal placements do have a 5+ year plan they want to accomplish, yes they have no idea how they're going to get it, but THEY WILL!!!!1! annoyingly resilient i hate them (is a cardinal dominant)

👹 Taurus placements, specially suns are so fixed in their ideas and so stubborn they're SO annoying, like i don't have much experience with Taurus people but the few i know are insufferable when they're like "this is this way and this is this way" ugh like shut the fuck up, Taurus with Aries placements? Scare the shit out of me

👹 Doja cat is perfect for Venus/Pluto and, or Venus/Mars people because she makes u feel sexy and I just know that's really hard for us to accept for ourselves

👹 Capricorn and Cancer men are a menace to society, Cancer's obsession to wanna find a mom in a girlfriend is very disturbing and Capricorn's men need to prove they know or are better than their partner is giving small dick energy, ion like it

👹 i don't care if I get cancelled from tumblr astrology i will let air sign men do anything they'd please with me there's something very hot about them being so detached rawr (dating air sign men in theory: 🥰🥰, dating air sign in practice: 😭😭)

👹 Aquarius and Sagittarius moons are attracted to each other like bees to honey it's like.... Very weird their dynamic, like Virgo and Aries moons, there's SOMETHING there

👹 going back to the topic, I always liked people with mutable moons knowing damn well my fixed moon can never understand them or their emotions, imagine liking a mutable moon person, baby you did that to yourself

👹 Lilith dominant men are.... Something, they ALWAYS have some sort of mommy issues, either because the mom doesn't pay attention to them or they rely on them too much! It's kind of like emotional incest? I believe that men feel jealously around them and the women want to be close to them lol, maybe they're the guy that has all female friends because the guys treat him like shit :/

👹 to what placements would you attribute having a voice kink? Because I am highly thinking about Virgo/Taurus/Gemini in the 8H or having Mercury in 8H, also this people have a hand kink i just know, they're like the Quentin Tarantino of hands

👹 I'm a firm believer that if you ask a Virgo placement for help on anything their dick grows three inches

👹 Scorpio women never look like their sign, they always give off Libra or Pisces vibes, while Capricorn women give off exactly that Scorpionic vibe we all talk about, we should study more people around us and not talk out of our asses, anyways I'm going to CONTINUE talk my ass off

👹 do you really have daddy issues you simply have a 0° in your big three? The thing with, TRIGGER WARNING ⚠️⚠️ (mention of parents omg 😳😳) father figure in people who have the 0° is that everything goes back to them, whether you have this degree is what your relationship with your dad is, if it's in the Sun the relationship is always ego based, you boosted his ego or made him question his beliefs, with the Moon you two trigger each other's flight or fight response, when it comes to emotions you are very wary of expressing to the other, while also knowing that ultimately the problems could be fixed if you just talked about it. With ASC in 0° his perception of you and viceversa is very distorted to fit the other's mindset, you never really see each other the way you truly are, this is very difficult because you and your father feel like you barely know each other, the more you try to understand each other the wider the gap

👹 of course Moon in 0° could be problems with the mother too, a suffocating mother who won't let her kids have thoughts and opinions and experiences of their own without her input or consent, she just can't tolerate her kids having anything that she isn't a part of, but ofc this is my opinion

👹 Libra and Taurus mercury people..... Your voice is what sex feels like

👹 the sign in your Venus is what you are attracted to, i REPEAT, it's what you're attracted to, because I've been seeing this Aries sun women and I honestly can't describe how i feel around them I won't go into heavy detail let's not be too lgbtq. I highly recommend you to see where the sign that's on your Venus falls in the houses because that's going to give you an insight of what turns you on or calls your attention the most

👹 a lot of fire sign men are boiling hot incredibly sexy make you go bark bark but once you get to know them.... It's like.... Okay? They're very superficial and i think most men are like this anyways, fire sign men are literal infants, emotional annoying ass little bitches who act so childish, god gave you a beautiful jawline and you're acting like this? Absolutely not

👹 earth stellium people can be telling you the funniest weirdest shit ever with a straight face or the most fucked up thing while laughing, they're effortlessly funny because they are irrevocably traumatized

👹 i rapidly need to know what Taylor Swift and Jake Gyllenhaal's synastry is like because those two were something else, the definition of astrotwitter toxic tw**fl**e connection, this isn't even an astrology observation i just need to know immediately what kind of crack were the stars having when these two got together

👹 people with Ceres in 7H, I'm sorry that you will never not feel the caretaker in the relationship, it happens sweetie

👹 whoever said Aries Venus people are promiscuous or don't last long in bed 🤨🤨🤨🤨 I'm going to find you and kill you with my bare hands