#they r some of the deities in the pantheon!!!

[mobblespsycho100]

oc doodles i havent posted yet !!!

[ID: Two traditional half-body/bust sketches of my original characters. The first drawing is of Zeryph, who uses any pronouns. He has slightly dark skin and long, flowy, curly hair that resembles clouds or smoke. They are smiling with their hand on their chest. There are some clouds drawn behind xem.

The second drawing is of Kel Wun, who has dark skin, long hair, and no irises. Kel Wun is also smiling. Kel Wun is wearing a crown headdress with moon design/patterns loosely inspired by Indonesian goddess Dewi Ratih's headdress. There are doodles of a moon, stars, and a planet behind them. /End ID]

[huntressofladyartemis]

Seriously??

Stop saying that the gods and goddesses are mysoginists or feminists… They aren't, they weren't! I'm sick of reading or listen how some gods are insulted or acused of mysoginists or some others are acused of feminists… No! They not!

They were religious deities! They still are, because there's an Hellenistic community of worshipers! But i'll talk of the Ancient Greece… I'm not Greek, but i don't like how some gods and goddesses are treated just for their myths and the same people say that were the Greeks whose actually treated the gods like that! What's i'm saying?

"Zeus is a dick, a mysoginist, a r*pist even worse that his son Apollo, he can't kept his pants on and that's how the greeks portrayed him, so… the greeks says that Zeus is a dick"

…

What? Seriously??? The Greek whose worshiped him? Zeus the most important god in the Greek Pantheon? Zeus the king of the Olympians and the father of the gods?

I know many of the male gods assaulted women in the myths… But please I'll say it again… Don't took the myths as literal! Neither the ancient greeks do it that because they worshiped those male gods… They took the myths as metaphores, lessons and stories…

But i advice you if you're not sure: talk with a greek person! Ask the greeks theirself because they know much better of their own culture and history!

Zeus, Poseidon, Hades, Hera, Demeter, Athena, Ares, Apollo, Artemis, Dionysus, and a can continue with all of them…. I will defend all of them because i love them and i know the context and history behind the myth! I know the myths were written by persons (HUMAN PERSONS) whose "humanized" the gods to be more close with them, so that is why in the myths the gods aren't perfect! I know there's people who worship them (i'm not hellenic polytheist yet, but i would like to worship Artemis one day of these) and i respect the deities! I know the symbolism and metaphores of the myths and stories!

Zeus is NOT a dick! Hera is NOT a bitch! Aphrodite is NOT a whore! Apollo is NOT a asshole! Ares is NOT a idiot! Dionysus is NOT dumb drunk! Artemis is NOT a cruel and bad friend! Poseidon is NOT a piece of shit! Demeter is NOT a bad helicopter mother! Hades is NOT the villain… But neither was Zeus, Demeter, Apollo or Aphrodite! No!

[talonabraxas]

“Those Who from Heaven came to Earth”

Anu 𒀭 In Sumerian Pantheon Of Gods Talon Abraxas

Anu (also known as An) is an early Mesopotamian sky god who was later viewed as the Father of the Gods and ruler of the heavens, a position which then passed to his son Enlil. He is the son of the couple Anshar and Kishar (heaven and earth, respectively), the second-born of the primordial couple Apsu and Tiamat.

He was originally a Sumerian sky deity known as An (meaning 'sky') first referenced in writing during the Early Dynastic Period (2900-2334 BCE) who was adopted by the Akkadians c. 2375 BCE as Anu ('heaven') the all-powerful. Sargon the Great of Akkad (r. 2334-2279 BCE) mentions Anu and Inanna in his inscriptions as legitimizing his rule or helping him in his conquests as he established the Akkadian Empire and maintained order.

Anu is most often represented in iconography simply by a crown or crown on a throne symbolizing his status as King of the Gods, an honor and responsibility later conferred upon Enlil, Marduk (son of Enki/Ea, the god of wisdom), and Assur of the Assyrians, all of whom were believed to have been elevated by Anu and blessed by him. His consort is Antu (also known as Uras, goddess of the earth), and among their many children are the Annunaki, the gods of the earth and judges of the dead, and Nisaba, the Sumerian goddess of writing and accounts. He is also given as the husband of his sister Ki (earth) by whom his son Enlil is born.

Although Anu is not featured prominently in many myths, he is often mentioned as a background figure. This is because, as veneration of the god progressed, he became more and more remote. Initially a sky god and one of the many younger gods born of Apsu and Tiamat, Anu gradually became the lord of the heavens above the sky and the god who ordered and maintained all aspects of existence.

Along with Enlil and Enki, Anu formed a triad which governed the heavens, earth, and underworld (in one version) or, in another, heaven, the sky, and the earth. He was also listed among the oldest gods of the Seven Divine Powers: Anu, Enki, Enlil, Inanna, Nanna, Ninhursag, and Utu-Shamash.

Even though he is rarely a main character in a myth, when he does appear, he plays an important role, even when that role might seem minor. He is referenced in some of the best-known myths from Mesopotamia including Gilgamesh, Enkidu, and the Netherworld, The Epic of Gilgamesh, the Myth of Adapa, and the Enuma Elish.

[inbetweenhours]

Because I am obsessed with this one line from Battle Cries by The Amazing Devil and will continue to reuse it in artwork I of course had this though for using it in comparison to the twins of Rivendell, Scott and Xornoth. As I though more about the piece it evolved into a study of the cycle of corruption and hate between brothers within Rivendell’s leadership. This fight that was born in Rivendells foundation and which died only with the kingdom itself.

Doing this I managed to put a lot more thought into my actual ideas about how the majorly slumbering pantheon that the Stag Gods herald from operates its history especially. I revisited my concepts of Alinar and Cohnel, and I made sure to keep in mind the key differences in all the brothers relationships, as well as how the corruption and championship affected them. 

Below the cut im gonna ramble about the lore both canon and MOSTLY my won fanon that provides background to this piece and how it came together in my head :]

I am going to go through each set of brothers and describe their history. From their conception, to their finality, in the context of being a pair. 

The Stag Gods are unique in their conception. For the sake of ages they are affectively twins. The pantheon they hail from was born in the time after the titans fell. As Pixlriffs describes in his opening to season 2, mighty titans once roamed the earn and when they fell their bodies became the lands that empires now rise and fall on today.  The era of gods that Exor and Aeor were conceptualized in were some of the first creatures to evolve to inhabit the lands that these titans bodies became. The first stags, the first serpents, the first flora. The first seasons, of winter, to spring, and summer. Wilderness was born and from it rose divinity in its first era. That of the Stag gods.

When Aeor and Exor were young fawns they were nothing more than animal. Young and reckless, exploratory as they took on their responsibilities. Bringing order and chaos, winter and summer. A cycle  ever chasing one another. They were so different, but they were brothers. They could not be without the other, as is their cyclical nature.

They are affectively the same age. And they grew up in a time where they and the other gods were the only sentient life around. They are neither benevolent nor malevolent gods. No deity is, because those are mortal terms. Their understanding of mortality is comparable to human understanding of ants. They work, and they have built great things have systems. But everything looks so simple from the gods view. 

The gods take care of mortality in the same way a man may take care of his dog. The dog is loyal and loved and cared for, but it is still only a dog. When the corruption first rose it ugly red shades across the land the gods grew weary. It threatened their precious pets, destroying mortalities hard work and making them ill and crazed. So the pantheon banded together and supposedly defeated The Corruption. It took the full strength of most, and so most of the pantheon fell into slumber. The Stag Gods among the few who continued to stand.

The brother stags founded Rivendell high in the mountains, a place to protect and watch over the mortals they personally  had found preference in, the elven civilization. For a long time the elves worshiped both stags, but as time went on a preference for Aeor and his orderly ways grew. Exor grew jealous, and emboldened by the last remnant of The Corruption which has laid in wait for it time to rise again, he acted out. And as more and more conflict grew between the brother stags, the corruption took its hold in Exor, turning him cruel and greedy, and in turn twisting up all the gods followers as well.

We all know how this story ends. Aeor and his brother fight, divided finally, futile, by The Corruption, and Exor alongside his followers are banished to the mountain peaks to waste away in the caves.

Alinar and Cohnel are the next of the brothers. They are third generation Rivendells citizens. Alinar is older than Cohnel, by some years. They come from a comfortable family, nothing so noble, as the country  flourishes around them. They play together in the streets, Alinar leaning Cohnel by the hand too keep him from running off. The play in the snow and as thy grow older  dare to hike further and further into snowy peaks. Till one day they would discover the ruins of where Exors fanatics were one sealed away. 

Alinar would urge them to leave, taking Cohnel home. Enough warning in old tales told as bedtime stories enough to ward him away. But not Cohnel. Ever cursed with youthful curiosity he would return alone. And he would not be seem for many months. Declared missing Alinar would mourn, grow, and push himself to help others where he could not his brother. He would join the council leading Rivendell, where he would be in a position to see the rampant increase of missing persons. The unease and fear it drew throughout their kingdom.

And  under oath to protect the people Alinar would set out, meet his brother again on the battlefield. Now corrupted from his once boyish youth Cohnel is nothing of the baby brother Alinar once guided. Still, the boy has their mothers nose, and the same eyes. Alinar is weak in one moment and decides he cannot kill his baby brother. But he is a member of the council and a hero of the people. Aeor gives him help, guides him as his champion and  brings him to the conclusion of a banishment spell. So he does just that, never to see his brother again, and goes on to become the champion of Rivendell. Heralded as its first king.

The final set of brothers are best known I presume. Scott and Xornoth, twins of Rivendells monarchy. Xornoth is older, and that is important to me as I often debate giving them a real age gap but I will stick with the twins lore for now. Descendants of Alinar. As members of the monarchy these brothers lives are different to the others. They found more solace in one another as refuge from responsibility and ridicule from their parents. 

Both princes grew well educated, and with that they knew even more of their history than perhaps the general public were privy. Their ancestry, and that of the gods more available. Both were devout in their academics and their religion, as they were brought up to be. However a key difference was Xornoths ability to push boundaries, push questions. Always a thirst for more, more more- especially in the way of knowledge. They drudged up arguments with mere curiosity and while Scott entertained his brothers thoughts, he was much more well behaved. Not risking mentors or parents good temperament for answers when he could easily keep his mouth shut. 

Still, he encouraged Xornoth’s curiosity, even as it grew more fascinated with more forbidden insight. More curious to Exors scorned history. With so much historical documentation of devotion to Exor destroyed out of fear a long, long time ago Xornoth only grew more despertaly curious. And when they found note of old banished groups of ollowers in the mountains he pleaded with Scott for a coverup. 

Scott allowed it, the two sneaking away and Xornoth returning with an ancient tomb. Obsessive was what Xornoth was turning into, red glint in their sharp eyes growing more by the day till finally  something gave. Where there was once passive irritation and distain Xornoth grew quick to anger and  violence. Till finally the ysnapped, and in a late, fitful arguement with their parents they killed them both.

Scott had not an idea what happened. Not until he awoke the next morning to maids screams. His parents dead, and his brother gone- nothing more than a banishment sigil burned into their bedroom floor as indication to where they had went. Scott would be coronated, and with his kingship he only became more devout to Aeor. 

Scott believed his brother dead, and moved on for over a decade till the events of season one as we know it. Xornoths return, the understanding of what had happened to them. Being championed, and capturing his brother. Hoping dearly to find a way to undo Exors influence. Till finally out of time the two battle on Rivendell peaks, overrun with corruption.

Scott decides to be selfless, killing himself on the rune blade. and As he bleeds out Aeors presence withdrawals from him. As Aeor withdrawals, so does Exor. Until it is only Scott, delirious with bloodloss and pain. Until it is only Xornoth, finally in their right mind after decades of corruption and divinity puppeteering them. And they see their little brother, and know they had failed to protect him from themselves when they ran away. There is nothing left to be done as Xornoth moves to hold Scott in their last moments. Offering the smallest comfort as death takes them both by virtue of their connection.

The cycle of brother, loved and corrupted, which started in the seeds of their kingdoms foundation and that has withered with its end. It is all finally over.

[lunastrophe]

I just got my hands on The Drow of the Underdark by Ed Greenwood. It is literally the best book I have read about the Drow. I was just wondering if you've ever read it or could point out any other good source books

Hello! Drow of the Underdark for 2e is a great start - there is also another book with the same title for 3.5e (A. Marmell, A. Pryor, R. J. Schwalb and G. A. Vaughan, Drow of the Underdark, 2007), although it is good to remember that drow lore from various editions can be different in some places.

As for other game accessories with drow lore, in Demihuman Deities for 2e (E. L. Boyd, 1998) there is a lot about drow pantheon. For Underdark in general, there is Drizzt Do'Urden's Guide to the Underdark for 2e (E. L. Boyd, 1999) and Underdark sourcebooks for 3e and 4e.

For Menzoberranzan, there is 4e sourcebook, Menzoberranzan: City of Intrigue (B. R. James, E. Menge, 2012) and older Menzoberranzan for 2e, a part of boxed set (E. Greenwood, R. A. Salvatore, M. Leger, D. Niles, 1992).

Some general drow lore was also included in The Complete Book of Elves (C. McComb, 1993) for 2e.

In such game accessories, there is mostly "raw" lore - but a tremendous amount of lore-connected information can be also extracted from D&D novels, like The Legend of Drizzt series, or Starlight and Shadows trilogy, for example. They are good choice if you want to explore drow lore, but find typical D&D sourcebooks too boring 😉

[creatorbiaze]

They’re both so (insert high pitched squeal)

laying on my stomach head in my hands kicking my feet like a school girl

I need to know everything about them please

and please draw Z more they’re so pretty

-hopeless anon

hehehehe :>

I talk about Vizerxa a lot but not much about Z, I'll gladly explain them both :>>

and i will :D eventually-

Their stories & stuff r below the cut bc i rambled a shitton

So, Vizerxa is a Salhan Draconic from Amist Memoriam, a now-fallen Kingdom. she was the second born daughter of Queen Fractal & Arctos Carmine (Arctos is from Magia Titulari, a now fallen kingdom as well, and he & Fractal were arranged to be together since the Carmine family is known for having notably strong magic powers, and Fractal is highly focused on being powerful and "above".) Vizerxa was supposed to be the Salhan deity of Darkness & Death, but Sidera is Sidera and fucked her story up bc she was gonna be too powerful. They did this by causing Vizerxa's powers to malfunction at ~10 yrs old, making Vizerxa also lose the use of her wings.

For most of her life she trained with Clara Ventus, a powerful Zypherin (essentially a general) to instead train the ice magic she has from her father. Fractal was Not Impressed with Vizerxa though & for the most part ignored her, leaving Phoenix (the royal advisor) & Clara to mostly raise her since Arctos was generally absent.

Vizerxa has two siblings; Lucidi, the biological older sibling, and Videns, adopted younger sibling.

Lucidi was the final ruler of Amist Memoriam after Fractal died, and around the time of Lucidi claiming the throne Light Song decided it'd be a good time to target Amist Memoriam to conquer it. Light Song normally does this by getting the second born on her side & destroying the stability of the royal family and/or the royal court. Vizerxa originally refused, until Clara (at that point her main, if not only, support) went missing. Vizerxa then finally decided to join Light Song if LS promised to make Vizerxa a Deity.

All three of the royal siblings died on February 12th, 1432 in earth years, and joined LS's Pantheon. A few years after, Light Song destroyed Amist Memoriam, and Vizerxa still blames herself since she'd thought LS would spare the kingdom.

Vizerxa became the Deity of Strategy and Observation, which also means she was the weakest Deity power wise and strength wise, since neither domain actually gives her any power boosts other than making her smarter. Around 20 years after joining the Fallen, Vizerxa changed her name from Vivere (her birth name) to Vizerxa.

Mendacium Deorum, deity of Chaos and Lies, trained Vizerxa to make her better in battle, and when Aella joined the Fallen, Vizerxa also took some strategies and habits from her (mainly the ambush attacks).

For most of her time serving Light Song, Vizerxa was the strategist that just silently watched from the shadows, even though she despises LS especially after she found out LS killed Clara (and in a rather brutal way too). Zelura offered her a way to change this, and gave Vizzy the ability to create Emblems like a Megaversal Deity can. She used this to start slowly syphoning magic from Light Song, who marks all Fallen Deities with a false-emblem. Over time, LS slowly grows weaker, and Vizerxa... technically doesn't gain anything since she can't use Light Song's magic.

she also was the one that made the strategies that destroyed the Deorum Pantheon after Regina, the leader, declared war on the Fallen & Celestial Pantheons.

Since Light Song is so incredibly cruel (which is putting it lightly), Vizerxa absolutely hates herself for just watching from the sidelines for most of LS's crimes. She had to pretend to be LS's true ally in order to stay close to her.

After around 580 or so years, Light Song's power was drained enough & in a battle against the Celestial Pantheon, Vizerxa took the chance and killed her. She took the place as Leader of the Fallen Pantheon, but was bedridden for almost an entire year due to the power syphon being cut off plus Amatus's loyalty curse making her deathly weak. The only reason she survived is because she was already dead. After she recovered, she started peace treaties and negotiations with the Celestial Pantheon.

Also relatively recently (within the past 100 years) she adopted Ezeri & Xiqui, her children, after finding them in a snowstorm (i have the short story up, Accidental Adoption :>). I don't think I've said it before, but the two are actually spirits, Vizerxa found them shortly after their death when they didn't yet go to the Spirit Realm.

There's also another part of her story i'm considering just removing since I'm considering making the Ancients even less involved, so her Crystal Wings power is either from Omnia, the Ancient Deity of salha, or Zelura, Incarnation of Chaos and Karma, as an attempt to get Vizerxa's trust. The crystal wings used to be glowing purple crystals that looked like floating feathered wings, but every time Vizerxa causes a death, indirectly or directly, the crystals crack and another glowing red string appears between the shards. Currently, due to Vizerxa causing the deaths of multiple kingdoms, her Wings are unrecognizable and frankly terrifying.

Out of the Fallen Pantheon, Star Seer and Aella are the only ones Vizerxa truly trusts. She dislikes Blood Moon and Amatus (& they dislike her in return), and she's neutral about Snow Sky and Path Changer.

She hates Evex, leader of Abyss's Pantheon, and also gets along poorly with Dawn Shadow (salhan god of death).

Clara is the only person Vizerxa truly calls a friend, and she's very close with Videns.

Z is an anomaly to my worlds, and the head historian & technical god of the archives. No one knows exactly what they are or where they're from, and Z doesn't remember either. Z is also the "only" entity with orange eyes, and has a weird uncanny valley effect on all Other-Realm & Drakerivelm characters, including other historians.

luckily, I do know; Z is from Xalau's Worlds (which for most of time have been unknown & locked away from the rest of my worlds). Z is a Xekolu (false angel) who "fell" due to actually protecting the human they were following (Venenum). Xekolus are not supposed to interfere at all, and Z found that stupid. They fell deathly sick, and the only reason they survived is because of Zelura offering Z a chance to survive if they follow Zelura. Z, having no other option, agreed. Z & Venenum both went to Other-Realm when the barrier between Xalau's worlds and the rest was weaker.

Z's main power is the ability to control and manipulate their own blood, and are one of 2 characters of mine with blood related powers. Since they're a historian, their blood also evaporates, so even if they make, say, blood chains, they only really last long enough for Z to escape.

Historians are entities that are not allowed to interfere with the rest of the Realms, and travel through time to record historical events from a completely unbiased perspective. Most of them avoid social interaction anyways, or were unable to do many other jobs (for example Velkure, a blind and very weak origin, is a historian because it's honestly the safest job they CAN have. they mostly just sort things in the Archives and help the other Historians.)

Z wears their mask when they interact with others, since their eyes are the source of most of the uncanny feeling. No one's certain how they can see through the mask.

They're also able to control & alter the Archives, and are able to freeze time for short periods.

And fun fact; Z is an alias made from just shortening Z's full name, but i think it's more fun if you guys dont know their full name, same as the characters in-universe ;>

.... you can pretty easily see which character I spend more time thinking about...

[diana-thyme]

love your stuff! any good resources for someone who wants to work with the hellenic/ancient greek pantheon but doesn’t know how to start? very much appreciated thanks so so much :]

Hello and thank you!

All of these resources are on r/Hellenism, I recommend going there if you have more questions. Use the search bar!

Theoi.com provides the basics of each deity.

This is a beginners guide to Hellenism.

Some resources and answers to common questions can be found here.

This is a terminology list.

Here is a Hellenism calendar, the one I personally follow.

Here are some answers to even more questions.

Here is a small reading list, with a more extensive one listed as well. I’d also recommend “Household Worship” by Labrys.

Some YouTubers listed include Pic the Pagan, Aliakai, Fel the Blithe, and Elani Temperance. I do not watch videos about Hellenism, but many people have found them informative.

And here is a list of books, sites, blogs, etc.

When first starting out, I recommend figuring out what works for you. Some people make Khernips and cleanse themselves every time they speak to the Gods. Some people do rituals. Some people are more casual, like me.

Find a deity or two that you’re the most interested in. I started out with Aphrodite, she appealed to me the most and I already had stuff to build an altar for her. Start worshipping them. Light a candle, offer some food or water, make a small altar if you want. The goal is to figure out if Hellenism is for you. If it isn’t, tell your deities and be polite about it. If it is, continue worshipping, building your relationship, and even adding more deities to your altars. There are plenty of resources about historical and UPG offerings. I’d be glad to talk about any deity you’re interested in!

Good luck!

[bronzegods]

Mekal (or Mekar), the lord of Beth-Shean

I strongly hold that the Baal Cycle is not "Canaanite mythology." The Ugarites themselves identified Canaanites as "foreign people," and Mot, in particular, is strongly suspected to be a literary invention of Ilumilku, the scribe who wrote the Baal Cycle. To subsume the myths under the vague title of 'Canaanite mythology' is a disservice to Ugarit and its creativity, in my opinion.

So that naturally brought a question to mind: are there any Bronze Age deities who are distinctly Canaanite?

Enter Mekal/Mekar. A Fresh Look at the Mekal Stele (Levy 2018) introduces us to a deity who was attested in northern Palestine during the Bronze Age.

(Levy 2018: 361)

That "r" at the end of his name can be either an "r" or a Semitic "l", hence the Mekal/Mekar options for his name. And he's attested as the lord of Beth-Shean (or Bit-Shani, if you fancy the syllabic Akkadian transcription). How cool is that?

Some thoughts about this deity: his iconography is closely aligned with Baal's known iconography from the time period (which should make one wonder if there isn't some possible synchronization afoot, as if Seth-Baal wasn't strong enough evidence, lol), with one caveat: he has Resheph's headband. So some differences!

What I draw from that is Mekal/Mekar is a Baal-like deity but with some differences. In the Pantheon universe, thus, Mekal is primarily a vegetation god with some rain-bringing abilities, not a storm god proper. He doesn't have the weather manipulation capability that Baal does, but he's good at making flowers and helping agriculture grow!

Given the strong Egyptian influence here, Mekal strikes me as the type who really likes lotuses, too. Maybe he really looks forward to the few visits that Nefertem makes in the foreign northern lands? Well, assuming Sekhmet's willing to let him out...

Anyway, Beth-Shean is a major Egyptian administrative center in the Late Bronze Age, so Sutekh likely stops in Beth-Shean often before continuing onward to Gubla (Byblos), another Egyptian holding. Mekal, with his minimal attestation, seems like a very young god (and it's suspicious that he's not attested afterward). Perhaps he was educated in Kemet as a godling and then brought back to Beth-Shean to rule it, as the Egyptians were known for doing with foreign princes. Couldn't get him to get rid of the beard, though. Some cultural influences refuse to die.

Artwork commissioned from Eaglidots

[bigsoftmarshmallow]

Okay, so I'm pretty sure you liked one of the posts that partially talks about their backstory, but I don't think you've read anything about Karina specifically.

h/t/t/p/s://www.tumblr.com/aikoiya/721484702337351680/loz-karina-goddess-of-love-passion?source=share

This is pretty important to her as a character, but so it this:

h/t/t/p/s://www.tumblr.com/aikoiya/727413120124993536/loz-gerudo-pantheon?source=share

The thing about a lot of those scenes is that they would mostly only happen before Demise became Demise. Afterwards, he'd be more likely to actively try & r*pe her.

Like, yes. I always wanna give characters a chance, but the problem is that unless a character wants to change, then they won't.

Do not pass go & do not collect $200. The buck stops with you.

Yes, he could reform, but he doesn't want to. I see him as the type whose addicted to the chaos & the hate & the bloodshed & the carnage.

In some ways, he reminds me of the Joker. "Some people wanna watch the world burn."

As Demise, he is too far gone. However, Ganondorf, to me, acts like his Sword of Damocles.

Yes, Ganondorf is Demise's hatred reborn, his Ara Mitama, but that isn't all he is. He's also human. Meaning that he can change given the right influences.

Which means that Ganondorf is both Demise's hatred upon the world & Demise's best chance at any form of salvation.

In all honesty, I tend to take a degree of influence from Shintoism & Buddhism with him. While I don't believe in such philosophies IRL, they do give me new & interesting angles to look at characters from.

And my depiction of Demise takes a degree of influence from Susano-o. And, he's known for having been cast out of the heavens to live as a mortal (though, with the things he could pull, he must've been a mortal sorcerer).

But, the thing is, there is a shitton of evidence to suggest that the actual curse that Demise placed upon Link & Zelda isn't reincarnation. Because reincarnation already existed within their world &, according to Shinto & Buddhist philosophy, every living thing is subject to reincarnation.

It is only further proven by Demise's own words, he uses a very specific term in the original Japanese. Rin'ne, which is the Japanese term for the Hindu word Samsāra, which is the neverending cycle of life, death, & rebirth.

Now, in the English, he said was that, "my hatred will follow."

"Follow." You can't exactly follow something if it's not already in motion.

What I think is that, Demise isn't causing Link & Zelda to reincarnate. I think that that was already going to happen regardless.

I believe that Demise's actual curse isn't so much forcing them to reincarnate (which, how would he even do that; he was never stated to have power over souls), rather I believe he's attached his own hatred to their souls & essentially piggybacking off of a natural phenomenon that takes place on their earth. His curse makes it so that, whenever they are reborn, they'll experience misery in some form or fashion.

Which brings me to my next point. I think that Hylia gave up a whole lot more than what a bunch of fans believe she did.

Thing is, in a world where reincarnation is real, the only way to escape it is the give up on all worldly attachments. Which, I don't think even most deities can boast about themselves.

Especially not Hylia. She is VERY attached. So, when she became mortal, she sort of became subject to Rin'ne like any other mortal. Whether she knew or she didn't, that's a different story, but I still think it to be true.

Anyway, tangent, my bad. I see Ganondorf as being parallel to Susano-o time as a mortal.

And, you know what? He eventually makes amends. But he's only able to through living as a mortal. Or at least, that's the angle I'm going with.

And, in a way, Karina sort of represents Demise's, or Gàlondo's Kushinada-hime. Susano-o's eventual wife. (But only represent her. If she actually was Kushinada, then she'd be transformed into a comb most of the story. XD)

But, bottom line is that, according to Buddhism, it's actually not

Another interesting thing is that, while yes, the Triforce bears a surface-level resemblance to the concept of the Holy Trinity, I think it has more in common with the 3 Confucian Virtues.

And, do you know what those virtues are?

Courage

Wisdom

.

.

.

.

Benevolence.

And, do you know what Conficius believed of benevolence? It is humaneness. Or love for others.

That it starts at the home, but shouldn't stop there.

One could even argue that it is an extension of Aristole's idea that one's relationship with others reflects the relationship that we have with ourselves. In other words, how you view or treat yourself can affects how you view or treat others.

Which makes self-compassion (philautia) rather than narcissism (narcissis) very important. Because arrogance is often times a sign of someone who is secretly insecure.

And, interestingly enough, Karina is a goddess of all types of love & of healthy relationships (among other things), meaning she likely knows what she's talking about.

Anyway, back to where I was. Confucian benevolence is described as a moral sense that begins with one's own family & that strong foundation allows for such feelings to flow outward to one's community & beyond.

So, what happens when one's family or home is not strong. If the filial love isn't allowed to flourish?

Now, that by no means indicates that one can't be benevolent without a good home life or relationship with one's family. But just like how one can still learn how to read later in life, if it's nurtured early in life, it's comes easier.

But yeah, that's my logic.

Sorry for the infodumping.

Is Demise a terrible being? Yes. Do I love him?

... yes...

I really wish I could like me a hero for once. Alas, my heart is forever tormented by villains and antiheroes!

I am always here for your Universe's lore, my dear. You have incredible storytelling and information to give on WHY something should be the way it is in your version of Hyrule! I cannot wait to see more about it!

I actually have all the links you give me saved on my notes app to be able to pull them up whenever I am able to read... AKA when my brain lets me actually sit down to read.

[zarya-zaryanitsa]

are you familiar with the topic this reddit post is talking about?

https://www.reddit.com/r/Rodnovery/comments/15i4uyl/questionhow_did_pagan_slavs_interact_with_other/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button

I actually replied to a related ask recently (regarding whether one can worship Slavic gods alongside gods from other pantheons) however I did so in Polish so for simplicity’s sake I’m gonna just translate that for you and add some more sources at the end:

To the best of my knowledge, they don't mind. I don't think I've come across a case of their opposition to such practices, either in my personal experience or from other pagans I've talked to about it. There are also some sources that suggest that this type of practice could also have taken place among the pagan Slavs. As I mentioned in the answer to another question, the Slavs were fairly open to other peoples. Moreover, as Roman Zaroff points out in one of his articles, the Slavs treated the gods of other peoples as real as their own.

Moreover, the concept of monotheism was alien and strange to the pagan Polabians. A single god jealously demanding exclusive devotion and worship was conceptually unpalatable in the world of a multiplicity of gods and spirits characterized by general religious tolerance. A world, where gods of other people, although not their own and not worshipped were as real as their own deities. The Polabian Slavs did not comprehend why exclusiveness was demanded and after a forceful conversion, as evidence from Szczecin shows, they worshipped old gods alongside the Christian God. The Polabians did not negate the existence of the Christian god but simply added yet another deity to their old pantheon, albeit strange and alien. It is worth noting that a similar attitude was observed among Scandinavians. During the raid on Courland, Swedish warriors consulted through divination various gods of their own to gain their divine support for the campaign. Apparently the outcomes of these divinations were interpreted as unfavourable. On someone’s suggestion they performed one more rite for a Christian God. This time the outcome was favourable and they succeeded in their enterprise. This account clearly shows that for non-Christian Swedes the Christian God was yet another deity that existed and although not their own, it was as real for them as Odin or Thor.

- Perception of Christianity by the Pagan Polabian Slavs, Roman Zaroff

If the Slavs from Szczecin could worship the Christian god next to their own gods it seems to me quite likely that in other places a similar fate befell other deities of nearby peoples - religious syncretism is a very common phenomenon where two cultures meet, especially friendly ones.

As Zaroff recalls, the particular aversion to Christians, which resulted in the ban on the open practice of Christianity in Wolin, was probably not universal and originated from the ongoing open conflict with the Christian neighbors, striving for the complete eradication of the tribal culture and religion of the Polabian Slavs (which they generally succeeded in doing).

The influence of neighboring peoples is visible in many places in the known folklore and obviously must have influenced the beliefs of the pre-Christian Slavs as well. In their book Slavic Gods and Heroes, Uchitel and Kalik put forward a rather controversial theory that all the gods we consider Slavic were in some form borrowed from other peoples, and the Slavs originally worshiped the cult of ancestors, in particular the founding heroes of various tribes and related totemic animals. I personally do not fully agree with this hypothesis, but I think that some of the examples they present may be true. Much ink has been spilled over the possible borrowing of Khors from northern Iranian tribes, and the Simargl seems to be related to similar mythological creatures from other cultures. Slovenian Kurent may be related to the cult of Cybele, etc.

Back to the present me, if you want to read some interesting theories on the influences the neighboring peoples had on pre-Christian Slavic religion as well as later syncretism you I recommend the following pieces:

Organized pagan cult in Kievan Rus’. The Invention of Foreign Elite or Evolution of Local Tradition? by Roman Zaroff - more information on the possible origins and influences on the Kievan pantheon, great source lots of info packed into 30 pages,

Non-Iranian origin of the Eastern-Slavonic god Xŭrsŭ/Xors by Constantine Borissoff touches on some popular theories regarding who the fuck actually was Khors and what’s his deal as well as offers a counter-theory,

Supernatural Beings from Slovenian Myth and Folktales by Monika Kropej - longer text, lots of great info on Kurent, Mokoš and many others

My amateur translation of fragments from the works of Polish Slavists Aleksander Gieysztor and Andrzej Szyjewski touching again on Mokosh

Saint Perun and Saint Volos by James Joshua Pennington - a few words on gods influencing Saints, a interesting form of religious syncretism,

Russian Folk Belief by Linda Ivanits - a lot more words on gods influencing Siants

Slavic Gods and Heroes by Alexander Uchitel and Judith Kalik - already explained what this one is about.

TLDR: It would be silly and unrealistic to think our neighbors had no influence on us our customs and beliefs. They do now and it wasn’t any different in the past.

[conquerhq]

WELCOME TO THE COMPREHENSIVE GUIDE TO ALL THE IMPORTANT PLOT POINTS IN OUR OVERARCHING STORY SO FAR :

ACT ONE.

the demigods of the ark heard about the death of zeus in the hands of one of his demigod children, electra. not much was known about electra's motives nor where she received the power to kill a deity. however, they knew that she was trying to amass more power in every way she could ────── from gaining the innovator cyclops' favor, invading acoma for a dragon, to attempting to kill her half-brother, harlan, so she can steal his nemean pelt. ultimately, electra and her co-conspirator, xochitl, a daughter of tezcatlipoca, were killed by the demigods of the ark.

harlan, aleki, and cepos were also killed in their final skirmish against electra. thousands of gecko rose from the earth, attempting to abduct the bodies : and they managed to save every body, even electra, with the exception of cepos. aleki was also able to return to life after reid and armando ventured to rarohenga, with the help of levin, to retrieve his soul.

after some research and investigation, the demigods uncover that those geckos were agents of whiro-te-tepua, the pasifika god of evil, seeking to consume the bodies of demigods to absorb their powers.

the demigods of the ark were also alerted about the missing imperial regalia of the shinto pantheon. keiko, a guardian kitsune, helped the demigods in their investigation. their first lead ? sugaru, a legendary hunter rumored to have been resurrected through one of the stolen treasures. the demigods managed to defeat the hunter, but at the cost of keiko's life. and although the legendary hunter didn't possess any of the relics, his defeat led to their next lead : the three great onryo of japan.

after a number of decomposing, flayed bodies were discovered near a phalanstery in the olympic national park in washington, the demigods were sent to infiltrate a cult with possible connections to xipe totec, the aztec god of nature and ritual flaying. cassia, the cult's leader, reveals that the god showed her glimpses of future where both natural and man-made disasters befall the earth. and to prevent the end of world in the hands of humankind, she revealed that xipe totec would need blood and ritualistic sacrifices to return to this realm and bring forth change that will return power to nature instead of the man.

the demigods also investigated the disturbances in the ley lines, leading them to a place called mirrored lake where these lines intersect. there, they felt magic being siphoned, and saw spirits wandering and unable to pass into to the underworld. they discovered a cabin near the lake, but frightened by what might be inside, the demigods cut their investigations short and returned to camp.

and after everything they went through, the demigods were able to have some time to rest and relax, invited to the flying city of acoma for the dance of dragons festival.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

ACT TWO.

tragedy struck when the roman camp was massacred and left in ruins, and amongst the dead were friends of the ark. the demigods of the ark discovered the slaughter to be the work of caligula, a cruel emperor that had somehow came back to life. they launched a rescue mission, freeing the surviving roman demigods from the emperor's torture dungeons.

with so many threats on the horizon and questions left unanswered, the demigods began finding answers where they least expected it. ratatoskr, the guardian of the world tree and ally of the ark, was inflicted with madness when he followed oran to a meeting with a woman ( revealed to be also named electra, and described as woman of light ) ────── but was ultimately caught. in his mad ramblings, the squirrel revealed thor's death and the corruption of the world tree. one of the ark's demigods, amant, attempted to look into the norse god of thunder's death and experienced the god's death in his own's eyes : and the killer ? a towering figure that wore jaguar pelts and wielded an obsidian blade.

attuning more into his seer abilities, waaiz also tried to find answers to his questions. using the threads of fate to uncover the reason for seth's sudden disappearance, waaiz received a vision of persephone, the greek goddess of spring and queen of the underworld, at the roots of yggdrasil, the world tree. the goddess tried to use the tree to manipulate the fabric of reality ────── attempting to turn gods into mortals, but it backfired when the tree reacted violently to her tampering. rifts in reality began to open and yggdrasil became corrupted by the incomprehensible power leaking from the rifts ... affecing its lateral roots, also known as the ley lines spanning around the world.

the shinto demigods also made some progress in their investigation, discovering that shrines of the three great onryo were desecrated and turned them into malevolent spirits again. they found reasons to believe that the magatama were given to the three great onryo so they could tear the veil that separated the mortal realm and yomi and destabilize the rule of the kami. but the question still remained, who stole the imperial regalia to begin with ?

in another instance of attuning with the threads, waaiz and reid find out that the cabin by the mirrored lake is the home of a siphoner : leeching vitality and power from the spirits dragged back to earth due to the disturbance in the ley lines and those who had opened portals to the underworld, such a levin. electra's spirit now also roamed around the mirrored lake, stuck while being siphoned for her power.

but the spirits were not the only ones affected by the corruption of the ley lines, ancient beasts slumbering on them also began waking up. the demigods fought and defeated the markupo, an ancient serpent. but it wouldn't be the last mythical beast they'd be up against.

the demigods were sent to amalfi coast to save marinus, a demigod son of calypso, and investigate what was going on at the coast. they discover a war brewing between the fishermen and the sirens : allira, the alpha siren, told them that hari, a half-siren, must kill his husband, the captain of the fishermen, to fulfill his destiny. however, the demigods didn't follow allira's plans ────── and the alpha angrily vowed that they would face her again.

after a summer camp for mundane children was massacred, the demigods were sent there to find out what happened as they had reasons to believe that it might be connected to the former unsanctioned greek camp that used to be there. initially suspecting the ghost of pyrrhus, a bullied demigod who drowned, they discover the true killer to be beelzebub, one of pyrrhus’ tormentors. they found evidence of beelzebub's descent to madness : mind twisted by another being and granted with exceptional power that almost killed the demigods in their battle against him.

there are still many questions left unanswered and it is up to our demigods to find answers to them !

[psychicpanic]

Idk if this is rude/weird to ask so you can ignore this, but Im curious on your beliefs on anthropomorphism of dieties. Like that one manga where Jesus and Buddha live in the modern world and are roommates. Do you consider things like that to be innapropriate? Or does it just depend. Im not religious but Ive heard obviously for some religions its considered blahphemous to turn their Gods into "characters" so to speak.

OHHH HMMMM GOOD QUESTION i have mixed feelings about this. you actually don’t see pictures or artistic depictions of prophet muhammad (pbuh) bcs in islam it is actually stated to NOT depict him, its prohibited, and some countries will go to measures to punish you for it like death. its like a serious religious thing. so that is my opinion on that, to not cross boundaries like that. i heard from somewhere (sorry i didn’t remember where, i read lots abt religions and spirituality) that in islam this actually INCLUDES jesus. muslims and muslim countries respect jesus but do not depict him artistically or anything because of this. i actually learned this a lottt later in life.

i am honestly not familiar with that comic (i think ive seen screenshots or memes of it), but i have mixed feelings on it. i love pictures like this >

bcs i think they are so cute and it brings out his good qualities. does the comic focus around his teachings, or depict his peace and love? that should be like the reason why anybody would depict jesus anyway. if it’s just a harmless comic, i am like eh about it (though i love seeing happy jesus TBH). if it kind of mocks him, pokes fun at him, plays down his teachings, that’s another story. im muslim (it’s complicated) and even ik u gotta respect that.

as for deities from like the kemetic pantheon and the celtic pantheon, hate it. absolutely hate it when they’re depicted as characters. depicting them in a respectful, meaningful artistic sense is fine (i actually really enjoy seeing art and other peoples visions of them), but hate it when it’s like “goddess hekate x reader” LIKE WHAT??????? WHY R U…. sighs…

on an unrelated note, i also hate it when people name their characters deities names. it confuses my tiny mind. like honestly. when im looking stuff up i do not need to see h*zbin characters or ANY OTHER fictional character

[khaire-traveler]

please go off about the Zeus hate in the wider community some time because I would love to have this conversation

Oh gods, I'm not sure if you know what you're asking for lol. I could go on for a long time about it, for a variety of reasons.

(I can't add a cut because this is so far down in my drafts that I don't think I'll be able to find it again, even if I tried, so for those uninterested, I just recommend scrolling past this. I'm sorry. 💀)

***TW: MENTIONS OF SA, R*PE, AB*SE, AND OTHER SENSITIVE TOPICS***

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Where to even begin? There are so many faults and flaws within the argument that Zeus is just generally a "bad person". That's the argument I see most often, anyway.

I guess to start, I'll just get right into the controversial stuff: Zeus and sexual assault/rape. I'll start with me personal experience, as an assault and sexual abuse survivor. I can guarantee you that if I felt Zeus was a r*pist or an assaulter, I would not be worshipping him, personally. It would make me wildly uncomfortable, and I feel like it would seriously taint my view of him. So, when people claim that Zeus is a r*pist, or otherwise, I think it's important to acknowledge that you are talking about mythology. Just as the Christian Bible has been heavily influenced by the opinions and thoughts of its writers, Greek mythology works similarly. The surviving stories that was have were written by people who lived in a VERY different society than our modern one. Not only is mythos not meant to be taken literally (unlike Christianity, which is very mythos literal, most of the time), but Greek myths were often very metaphorical or served the main purpose of explaining an natural phenomena. It was also heavily influenced by the culture, at the time, so to understand why so many Greek myths discuss sexual assault, r*pe, and the like, you really need to take a hardcore look at the culture behind the myths. In not doing so, you make yourself look like an uneducated fool, honestly.

And I don't know how many times this had to be fucking said, but the gods are not their myths. Instead of making all these assumptions about them, maybe just, I don't know, talk to them yourself? Maybe do your own research into the behind the scenes of the stories they were featured in? Maybe stop taking mythos so damn literally? Like, even at the time, there has been some talk of historians believing that the ancient Greeks themselves didn't take mythos literally and interpreted the stories more as lessons to be learned. It's kind of obvious that many of these very impossible stories are most likely not what literally happened and are more metaphorical or sometimes even entertaining. The idea of mythic literalism feels like something that is very Christian - although I could be wrong, so do not take my opinion at face value - and frankly, Hellenic religion is not Christianity, it came before Christianity. Taking these myths of Zeus and interpreting them so literally does nothing but harm you as a worshipper and hinder your growth as a Polytheist, in my opinion. Plus, it makes you look bad. Why shit on an entire pantheon of gods? It's just dumb and disrespectful, even outside of mythic literalism stuff.

Another thing: cancel culture is heavily influencing this Zeus debate, in my opinion. People feel the need to "cancel" thousand year old deities who stem from cultures that were vastly different from ours - like, do they not realize how they sound? First of all, that shit was from thousands of years ago; do you not think that the gods have changed since then? Do you not think that they adapt to human culture as it grows and changes? Like, what? Second of all, cancelling gods from a literal ancient civilization is just plain ridiculous and very ahistorical, in my opinion. For real, I cannot stress enough that ancient Greece has a vastly different culture from our own. Shit was genuinely VERY different back then, and topics we now recognize as fucked up we're not recognized as such, back then. And there is nothing you, or anyone else can do, to go back in time and magically change the ancient Greek culture as a whole, so what's even the point of "calling out" this supposed behavior of Zeus? What's the point if he is very different now and interacts very differently with humans? What's the point if you are pulling your "evidence" from stories meant to be largely fictional? Like??? What exactly do you hope to accomplish by shitting on the King of the Gods in modern times with a very different cultural viewpoint? Tell me what you're hoping to achieve. Tell me why you're projecting all of this hatred towards Zeus, a literal fucking GOD, about fictional stories. Go ahead, I'm curious.

Along with all that, it's SO important to consider how Zeus was viewed in ancient times. It's not as though people saw him as a playboy and were like, "Ew, don't worship that god, he's doing all these bad things, blah blah blah." No, Zeus was actually HIGHLY respected. He was considered the King of the Gods, King of Olympus. He was worshipped for SO many different aspects of his and was extremely popular. He represented all kings, in a way, and was on top of everyone, in regards to hierarchical status. He was literally even considered to be the most powerful of all the gods, even instilling fear into the other gods with how strong he was! Like, Zeus wasn't someone to fuck around with or to criticize. I cannot emphasize enough how wildly disrespectful it is to call him shit like a r*pist (again, based on fucking fictional stories, y'all) - this literal King of Kings and God of All. He is ZEUS. He's not some celebrity that got into a scandal and deserves to be called out for their shitty actions. He is fucking ZEUS, people.

Honestly, my anger is very muted, on this topic. I have a lot of just "I'm so done with this debate" energy. Like, personally, I don't know how Zeus can be so patient with these people, especially after such a long time of them bashing him publicly for no good reason, treating him as though he's some celebrity or something that needs to learn his lesson. Human morality cannot be applied to non-human gods. It just can't. That's simply not how it works. They are not human, and I feel like it's very easy for people to forget that, especially when it comes to debates like these. Zeus - not a human, Apollo - not a human, Hermes - not a human. They are gods. Literal gods. Maybe instead of shitting on gods due to their mythical stories people should be focusing on the humans in today's world that are chasing actual harm - current harm, even. Because frankly, there are more important things to focus on.

I literally love Zeus. He is a fantastic god who literally helped me escape from a wildly abusive person. He is the reason I got out of that situation unharmed spiritually. Zeus is not some cruel god who doesn't give a shit about how other people feel. He is a kind, considerate, and thoughtful leader who holds much wisdom and knowledge from his thousands upon thousands of years reigning as King of the Gods and Olympus. He is not indifferent or disrespectful. He is not cocky or rude. And even with the flaws he may have (since everyone makes mistakes), he is still a god who deserves worship, praise, and acknowledgement for his great deeds. There is SO much Zeus does for humanity, outside of just lightning bolts and weather, and I'm just so exhausted from people who refuse to acknowledge that. Zeus is a damn blessing. He is a fucking King. He deserves respect.

That's all I've got to say for now. I'm not much of an angry person, so it takes a lot of energy for me to be mad about something. Thank you for letting me rant. May Zeus be with you, if you so wish. 💜⚡

[yamayuandadu]

is the deity mentioned in ugaritic sources milku a "predecessor" of some kind to the Ammonite deity milcom?

i know the neighbouring god chemosh might have have been a "successor" to the eblaite Kamiš. so i assume its a possibility?

btw im fully aware that the bible isnt a very accurate source when it comes to ancient near eastern theology (especially the cultures that were at odds with ancient Israel)

I actually do not think I've seen anyone address this in detail. Etymologically both seem to go back to the root mlk, same as a number of other theonyms. But Milcom was clearly a pantheon head and Milku is just one of multiple underworld deities. At the same time, it's worth noting it does seem Milku was associated with the Transjordan in Ugarit. Maybe he rose to prominence in the south after the Bronze Age collapse? It doesn't help that there is actually much less evidence from the south than from Ugarit or Emar in the Bronze Age. I cannot really give you a clear answer beyond "the names are clearly related", sadly. The connection between Chemosh and Kamiš is not actually proved, also. The recent discovery of the Akkadian-Amorite god list would indicate that there was more than one deity with a similar name. As noted by A. R. George and M. Krebernik in their commentary on this new discovery: "The equations of Kamiš with Enki/Ea in our text, and of Kammuš with Nergal in god lists, do not favour an assumption that they are all identical." W. G. Lambert already questioned if these are all variants of one name in the 1970s (source). Some more discussion can be found here.

[kyprigeneia]

❧ Welcome! ❧

↣ about me:

↣ Hi! My name is Lyra, I'm 21 & my pronouns are she/her.

↣ I'm a Hellenic Polytheist, I consider Aphrodite to be my patron Goddess. This blog is usually a devotional space to Her.

↣ My practice currently leans more towards paganism than reconstructionism but I'm always trying to learn more and expanding my practice!

↣ I work with many different spirits and deities. Aside from the Hellenic Pantheon, I'm particularly familiar with Shinto practices & working with some yōkai.

↣ In my spare time I practice witchcraft, make music, write, and compulsively archive EVERYTHING.

↣ tags:

#devotion for her <3 - offerings for Aphrodite

#journals of an aphrodisian - posts I've made, or posts about my pracitce.

↣ I love making friends! My ask box and DMs are always open 💕

↣ dni : h/m/phobes, r/cists, t/rfs, etc. this blog is a hatred free zone. i block liberally.

[nokingsonlyfooles]

WTYP: The Shandor Building, Part 5

[Do you like the colour of the fanfic? This is long and if you expand it you're gonna get the whole thing, because Tumblr hates you. Don't say I didn't warn you!]

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4

Part 5: Alice's Pick

[Beware of strong language, mention of all kinds of death, gore, and Lovecraftian horror.]

[SLIDE: Ad with blue background, WTYP avatars on yellow, and PO box information, but it appears to be dripping a certain amount of pink slime.]

[soothing music]

R [voice-over]: Hi, it’s Justin. This is a commercial for the podcast you’re already watching. People are annoyed by these so I’ll get right to the point: We’ve pissed off an ancient Sumerian deity and we may not live through this. Thank you for joining the Patreon, we really appreciate it, but we need a little more help. I’d say “pray for us,” but I think we’re trapped in some kinda pocket dimension, and it may not do any good. Far be it from me to impose upon your religion, or lack thereof, in any case. If you know anything about Gozer the Gozerian, or ancient Sumer, you might want to update their Wikipedia pages, because we do somehow still have our laptops and what appears to be a working internet connection, but by the time you see this it’ll probably be too late. So, for the first time ever, don’t join the Patreon. Or do, if you want. It’s your call. I’m sure my cats will appreciate the money in the event of my untimely disappearance or death. And, as always, we do not want to die. Now, back to the show.

[SLIDE: Gozer the Gozerian, the Ghostbusters version, with Vinz Clortho and Zuul.]

G: HOW ARE MY LEVELS? TEST. TEST.

D: No, you don’t need to, uh… Fine, actually. Thank you for turning down the howling noise.

G: NO PROBLEM. JUST LET ME KNOW WHEN WE ARE BACK FROM THE BREAK.

D: We’re already… Uh, yes. We’re back in, uh, three, two, one…

G: MY NAME IS GOZER THE GOZERIAN, I AM THE ENTITY THAT IS SPEAKING NOW, AND MY PRONOUNS ARE XE AND XEM.

A: Neopronouns! That’s interesting!

G: THEY ARE ANCIENT SUMERIAN PRONOUNS.

A: Oh. Lovely.

L: Sweet, I don’t think we’ve had one of those before.

A: …and I’m not just saying that because this form you’ve taken is smoking hot.

G: THESE ARE VINZ CLORTHO AND ZUUL, WE DO NOT SPEAK MUCH, AND OUR PRONOUNS ARE WE AND US.

R: That’s a bit presumptuous.

A: And I am there for it! Are they, er, are “we” your pets, Lord Gozer, or is it more of a polycule?

G: YES.

A [thrilled]: I don’t think it’s going to solve anything, but this podcaster is definitely becoming more rigid!

D: Please don’t make me get the spray bottle, the control room is full of slime.

A [wistful]: “Control room,” what a lovely thought.

R: Are we gargoyles or grotesques?

G: WE ARE YOUR DOOM!

[thunder, lightning, gales of wind]

R: Oh.

G: AND WE IDENTIFY AS TERROR DOGS.

L: Aww. Tummy rubs.

G: SO, ARE ANY OF YOU GODS?

R: We are definitely gods. I misspoke before, and I apologize. We are all gods here, thanks.

A: We’re a regular pantheon! Is that a knockoff Rolex you’re wearing?

G: I ALSO HAVE A CAMERA.

A [awestruck]: Fuck.

G : IF YOU ARE THE GODS OF THIS WORLD THEN WE MUST FIGHT…

A [happily]: I promise I’ll lose!

G: …TO THE DEATH.

A: Oh. Nevermind. Damn.

R: This Wikipedia page badly needs updating.

G [with mild irony]: ARE ANY OF YOU GOING TO SHOOT AT ME DURING THE NEGOTIATION AND VOID THE TERMS OF THE DUEL?

[slight pause, frantic shuffling]

D: We don’t have any proton packs, do we?

A: I have a bit of cheese in my purse, and a Slimfast bar…?

D: Proton, not protein!

A: I KNOW, I’M JUST VERY NERVOUS!

R: I got this here laptop and a stapler, I guess. Shame nobody uses CRTs anymore, at least they accelerate particles…

L: Uh, no?

G: THEN, AS THIS IS YOUR WORLD, I CEDE THE FIRST PICK OF FORM TO YOU.

L [excited]: We get to pick our form?

D: Uh, I don’t think…

L: I mean, I’m totally a god, so I knew that. It’s just cool! I’m gonna be a ‘93 Nissan Lamassu!

D: Liam…

R [quietly]: We can’t actually pick our forms.

A [muttering]: I can, but it’s a bit of a process…

D [raising voice, trying to sound confident]: Um… We choose the form of an engineering disasters podcast!

G: WOULD YOU NOT PREFER THE FORM OF SOMETHING SLIGHTLY MORE POPULAR?

L: Ouch.

R [defiant]: No.

A: God, I want liposuction.

D: We’re good like this, Lord Gozer! Thanks!

G: VERY WELL. THEN I CHOOSE THE FORM OF AN ENGINEERING DISASTER.

A: Shit.

R: Makes sense.

L: Yeah, probably should’ve seen that coming.

D: I’m so sorry, you guys.

A: S’all right, Dev. You tried.

R: I died doing what I love… Podcasting and editing a Wikipedia page for accuracy. And I got to ride a high speed train made of meat.

L [raising voice]: Hey, Gozer! Which engineering disaster? There’s a lot of ‘em! You haven’t been back here for a while, buddy, we’ve had a few more fun ones.

R: Yeah, these billionaires got crushed in a submarine of their own making, that was fun…

A [hyperventilating]: Oh, God. Oh, God…

D: Rocz, shut the hell up!

[crinkling wrapper, sound of Alice self-soothing by eating a bit of cheese]

G: THAT DOES SOUND INTERESTING. MAY I BORROW YOUR LAPTOP AND HAVE A LOOK?

L [quickly]: No! Engineering disasters don’t have laptops!

R: Y2K…

D: Shut up!

G: CHOOSE THE FORM OF YOUR ENGINEERING DISASTER!

L: All right. This is it.

D: Nobody say anything. Nobody think anything! Play dead! Eventually, xe may get bored!

A: Like a grizzly bear?

D: Happy thoughts, Alice. Happy thoughts. Anything but an engineering disaster…

Part 6