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elodieunderglass · 1 year ago

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I wanted to post the red dodgeball prophecy meme to make OP feel seen but wasn’t so sure if it was a super common belief that the eagle/call to action/“guy who comes to take you home” was Apollo. Ok hold on.

Solsbury Hill is in Somerset, and the city with lights is Bath.

Like many decent hills in the area it had an Iron Age hill fort. It is calcareous grassland (thin soil over chalk) and has some rare meadow species. Solsbury Hill is in decent striking distance of Glastonbury Tor and the unhinged new age/druid town of Glastonbury, and, in another direction, Stonehenge (and the competing Silbury Hill) but is (confusingly!) nowhere near Salisbury. The names sound the same but are different. something about chalk hills makes certain writers lose their damn minds… but there’s also the local idea that Peter Gabriel like… met Apollo.

It’s said that the deeply weird mythical British king Bladud, known for his careful observation of pigs, progressive attitude towards necromancy, founding of the city of Bath, and his mechanical wings - quite an interesting guy, easily in the top 10 legendary swineherd necromancer engineer kings - dedicated a temple to Apollo (the god of music, inspiration, prophecy and red dodgeballs) on Solsbury Hill, though now that I want to find one, I can only find self-referencing references about this, like this: https://www.akemanpress.com/2017/06/02/view-little-solsbury/

Of course Peter Gabriel only says that he meditated on the hill and was thinking about general stuff, but since he says in the song itself that he was struggling to think of how to explain his experience to everyone who would find him crazy, it ironically just makes the conspiracy theory stronger. That’s just what someone who wrote an Apollo-induced song WOULD say, you see?

(Interestingly; Solsbury Hill may have gotten its name from Sulis, the Celtic goddess of Bath, whom the Romans later sort of co-opted into Sulis Minerva. Her name may have meant “sight.” So even if Apollo wasn’t realistically at home on a hill in England, because that’s a frankly big reach, there was still a potential local deity to speak to Peter Gabriel. Anyway people sometimes sneakily camp on the hill to get hit with the Inspiration. There’s a labyrinth and stuff.)

(Ok so it turns out that this is not at all known so. Like. Apologies for this whole explanation.)

Anyway OP you wanted to feel seen!! here he comes to take you home!!!!

CLIMBING UP ON SOLSBURY HILL I COULD SEE THE CITY LIGHTS WIND WAS BLOWING TIME STOOD STILL EAGLE FLEW OUT OF THE NIGHT HE WAS SOMERHING TO OBSERVE CAME IN CLOSE IIII HEARD A VOICE STANDING STRETCHING EVERY NERVE I HAD TO LISTEN I HAD NO CHOICE I DID NOT BELIEVE THE INFORMATION JUST HAD TO TRUST IMAGINATION MY HEART GOING BOOM BOOM BOOM SON! HE SAID! GRAB YOUR THINGS IVE COME TO TAKE YOU HOME 😭😭😭😭 TO KEEP IN SILENCE I RESIGNED MY FRIENDS WOULD THINK I WAS A NUT TURNING WATER INTO WINE OPENED DOORS WOULD SOON BE SHUT SO I WENT FROM DAY TO DAY THOUGH MY LIFE WAS IN A RUT TIL I THOUGHT OF WHAT ID SAY .. WHICH CONNECTION I SHOULD CUT I WAS FEELING PART OF THE SCENERY I WALKED RIGHT OUT OF THE MACHINERY MY HEART GOING BOOM BOOM BOOM HEY HE SAID GRAB YOUR THINGS IVE COME TO TAKE YOU HOME HEEEEEEYYYY BACK HOMEEEEE WHEN ILLUSION SPIN HER NET IM NEVER WHERE I WANNA BE AND LIBERTY SHE PIROUETTE WHEN I THINK THAT I AM FREE WATCHED BY EMPTY SILLHOUETTEs WHO CLOSE THEIR EYES BUT STILL CAN SEE NO ONE TAUGHT THEM ETIQUETTE I WILL SHOW ANOTHER ME TODAY I DONT! NEED! A REPLACEMENT! ILL TELL THEM WHAT THE SMILE ON MY FACE MEANT MY HEART GOING BOOM BOOM BOOM HEY!!!! I SAID YOU CAN KEEP MY THINGS THEYVE COME TO TAKE ME HOME!!!!!!!! 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

#bladud was the father of king Lear #the Shakespeare one yeah #and if the wings were attributed to him in his correct time he predated Icarus #by several hundred years!!#they probably weren’t though #because it is unlikely that he was precisely real #and that he precisely built mechanical wings out of feathers 700 years before Icarus.#he probably didn’t found bath #he probably couldn’t talk to dead people #and he probably didn’t #do a lot of things #including breathe #I saw a blog post exploring whether Bladud might be an aggregation or aspect of Daedalus #with the Athena patronages and Apollo dedications matching as well as the mechanical wings #which would be quite funny because king Lear is not Icarus #bladud as both Icarus and Daedalus #sittin in the spa with his pigs #and some thousands of years later people pretend they totally don’t #camp on this hill #to get hit with the songwriting dodgeball

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shepscapades · 6 months ago

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Question abt the xisuma and keralis doodle in the cozy xisuma post;;

Do the hermit's not know what xisuma's face looks like and keralis is one of the only ones/the only one who knows, or do the hermit's know what his face looks like but we as the audience for some reason don't?

I think as far as I’ve decided, Keralis, Cleo, and Doc are the only hermits who have seen Xisuma’s face.

#Joe would be in that list too if he weren’t rly different in this au (introduced in season 8 instead of having been around since season 1)#Dbhc ask #Ask #tempted to say no one has seen him with his helmet off since early s7 though…. Not super sure though #The only exception to that being the one time doc accidentally saw X with his helmet off #Which I’ve been thinking about way too much lately. If Puzzle Pieces comes on shuffle one more time I think I’ll explode DFNBDGGJ #dbhc #badgebadge314 #If I had a really hard think about it… Biffa’s probably seen his face too #Hm. Maybe wels too but probably not… haven’t decided yet

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jonathanarcher · 6 months ago

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Recasting ds9 characters with (semi) era appropriate action stars, the thrilling sequel to my tng post

Danny Glover as Benjamin Sisko

Michelle Yeoh as Kira Nerys

Geena Davis as Jadzia Dax

Pierce Brosnan as Miles O’Brien

Oded Fehr as Julian Bashir

Timothy Dalton as Odo

Mark Dacascos as Quark

Michael Jai White as Jake Sisko

Maggie Cheung as Keiko O’Brien

Milla Jovovich as Ezri Dax

#the biggest stretch is probably marky mark as quark but you gotta understand. guys that look like armin shimerman weren’t action stars #I went with someone relatively short with a lot of charm. and he’s bald now! three for three #I can’t make another one of these for other shows because frankly. there’s not enough women. but I will hit you with some one of the ones #I’ve been thinking about. Uma Thurman as 7 of 9. Angelina Jolie as Tpol which probably means Brad Pitt as Trip. Wes Studi as Chakotay.#probably Denzel Washington as Tuvok. John Travolta as Phlox though I did want Nick Cage as well.#and two castings that I DONT agree with but WOULD probably happen anyway. Jennifer Lopez as B’Elanna. Lucy Liu as Hoshi. and maybe like a #Drew Barrymore for Kes if we’re sticking with a Charlie’s Angels moment.#oh and. while he wasn’t a hot ticket item at tbe time. kevin costner as archer #it’s deeply funny how IMMEDIATELY much more niche this one is #ds9

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quibbs126 · 2 months ago

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Maybe it’s just me, but I feel like with this year’s CRK updates, the only really memorable ones were the Beast Yeast updates

I mean Stormbringer might fall into this as well, and MyCookie was I think popular during its time, and admittedly I’ve been checking out this second half of the year, but I for the life of me can only barely remember a good chunk of this year’s updates

Which is sad when 2023 had some bangers of updates. City of Wizards, Triple Cone Cup (or at the very least the trio of new characters are very remembered and beloved), at least in my opinion Legend of the Red Dragon, MERMAID’S TALE, and let’s not forget the Golden Cheese Update itself. And that’s not even mentioning all of them, Summer Soda at least gave us banger songs and Shining Glitter’s girlfriend, while Holiday Express gave us Crème Brûlée for better or worse. Like most of them were great or at least memorable, and then you look at this year’s updates

I’m feeling like Devsis put all their eggs into the Beast Yeast basket. And don’t get me wrong, I loved the Mystic Flour story and I’ve heard Burning Spice is good too (still haven’t gotten around to it), but I don’t feel like we’re getting much out of anything else right now

And what happens when we finish the Beast stories? Because we’re rapidly approaching the halfway point, and I think it’ll be done by 2026 given the 6th anniversary. What then, and is next year going to be the same fate as this year for the non-Beast updates?

#I know I’ve sort of been migrating to Transformers at this rate #but I do still at least check in on the Cookie Run games #(though admittedly I’ve been playing them less and less)#(which probably isn’t good considering I’ve somehow become Guild Leader in both CRK and CROB)#and this is just a thought I’m having #like does anyone actually remember the Wind Archer update?#and was it only really memorable because Shadow Milk was there?#sure they weren’t entirely forgettable #but they aren’t nearly as memorable as least year’s updates to me #and again I may be a bit out of my depth right now considering my lowering interest in the games #or at least how I’ve been playing them less and stopped watching release videos or teasers or leaks #so it could just be me #but I also don’t feel like this is inaccurate either #cookie run #cookie run kingdom #updates #beast yeast

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camping-with-monsters · 1 year ago

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🔥SET FIRE TO THE SKY🔥

I think this is the best scarlet and violet photo ever taken I think I win the contest

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millidew · 10 months ago

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maizuru and milsiril are my favorite fucked up dungeon meshi mother figures

#dungeon meshi #maizuru #milsiril #my post #both were involved in some kind of highly skilled group (espionage/ninja work and the canaries)#maizuru and milsiril both have some aspect that makes their relationship with their sort of son innately complicated.\#maizuru has been having and affair and milsiril has biases towards short lived races #both dote heavily on them but milsiril does it more clearly in an overprotective way #their sons have complicated emotions towards them. and they’re right for that #lets see… toshiro always eats the food maizuru makes due to the love in its preparation. he doesn’t seem to have a relationship with his mok #*mom #so he was very close to maizuru #but after finding out she and his dad was having an affair he closed off from her. maizuru still heavily dotes on him however #maizuru also invented a spell to scare his child self into returning to her #and trained ninja techniques into him (I believe?)#and milsiril (though she did train him) didn’t like the idea of kabru going into dangerous dungeons #she ended up coddling him in that regard. he doesn’t know how to do household chores (but I doubt toshiro knows either LMAO)#(he probably has servants or maizuru who do it for him)#but in fighting specifically:#milsiril also trained kabru in sword fighting but unlike maizuru’s training it’s not very useful in the dungeon #now back to food:#unlike maizuru’s food the elven foods milsiril gave kabru weren’t as well received #that has to do with the different culture he’s from though #he thinks of his birth mom’s food more and had a stringer relationship with her #*stronger #despite some issues kabru says that he’s grateful for her as his foster mom (iirc)#I imagine toshiro’s probably the same way even if he wouldn’t admit it (BECAUSE MAIZURU IS FUCKING HIS DAD???)#toshiro doesn’t feel close to any of his family so his biggest connections as a kid probably would’ve been maizuru and hien.#kabru has milsiril and rin and all anyone could ever want but would never want to return to #anyways. end of essay. tldr: milfs are messy

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literaila · 6 months ago

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On a scale of one to ten how emotional was readers reaction seeing megumi alive again

8.7 but she never really believed that he was gone. call her crazy but her son isn’t going to blindly submit to some manic gym bro from the heian era

megumi takes back his body and she’s basically jumping up and down with yuji and applauding. a standing ovation for her son, obviously.

and then later she goes home and cries herself to sleep because a. she’s really proud of him and b. the world is a terrible terrible place

#i mean she could potentially cry in front of him #but i feel as though she absolutely HATES being upset in front of the children and after ten years she’s learned how to control her emotion #in the moment #definitely a bittersweet feeling #but no #when people were like ‘if megumi does blah blah—‘ she would interrupt and 🤓☝️ ‘WHEN he does blah blah’#and yuji is wholeheartedly agreeing #nodding along #she’s also like… probably fighting for her life in the moment??? so she can’t be super dramatic #but using that as ammunition for the rest of their lives for sure #and her and megumi go home and talk about gojo and tsumiki #they were always very close but it brings them together for sure #and i think it gives megumi the same kind of perspective that she gained when she was a kid and her friends died/left #so a loooot of understanding going on #but hey #they’ve got each other so it’ll all be alright #(and then megumi and yuji make out and take seven years to confess to each other)#jjk spoilers #a typical family #OH #AND she definitely talks to megumi about guilt #about not taking it all alone #they could’ve saved everyone together but they weren’t strong enough #because you can never be strong enough #and she tells him that it’s okay #that’s why strength exists in the first place #(aka not letting him go down your typical satoru route)

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cruesuffix · 1 month ago

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The way the band always like......now I don't wanna say aggressive but they aren't exactly gentle with Mick. Like even when Tommy hugged him in the video you reblogged the patting was really hard😭

In the dirt (movie) the part where they show micks surgery and Tommy(MGK) clapping Mick(Iwan) on the back he like curses to himself. Just really shows how hyper Tommy is, and I feel like they all are/aren't the most careful with him😭

ok first of all, im so glad you’ve noticed this too!! second off, i don’t want to sound like a debbie downer at all, cause i know everyone cherishes the idea of the crue being so sweet and kind to mick (preferably in the later years of the band), but i genuinely don’t think that was the case at all.

matter of fact, the band always knew mick was in pain. point blank period everyone in the band has talked in length about how they knew mick had back pain throughout their career. of course, they only knew the cause once the dirt came out, but the point is: they always knew. now, i would take into account how rough they’ve always been towards each other, and of course they probably never realized how serious it was but… mick himself has said they used to slap him on the back and force him to stand up straighter. that has to be the most hurtful thing a person can do to someone with AS. yes, they didn’t know it was that bad, but they knew he was in pain. any person with a brain would figure smacking a man with back pain on the damn back would do some damage! let’s not forget how badly nikki treated mick during the girls tour, going as far as to throw shit at him just cause he “broke a rule” (that nikki had broken way before him, and continued to break afterwards). he knew what mick was going through and made his life even worse, to the point where mick considered leaving the band. it wasn’t like they stopped annoying him after they found out either, they continued their behaviour because they thought it was funny. if they didn’t already call him the old man back in the day, they fully treated him like a cynical grumpy old man the older they got.

like i get it, in a perfect world they wouldn’t have mistreated him in the first place, but they did and i don’t think we should erase that fact just cause they pretended to care about him during red, white, and Crüe and beyond. i know this was supposed to be light hearted but i guess i haven’t been in a beautiful mood these days. like not to be woke but… those guys were a bit aggressive towards mick and like as cute as that vid was, it’s no surprise mick thought tommy was serious when he said he was going to kill him. - that’s probably why that part of the dirt kinda makes sense to me even though in reality the Crüe never visited him at the hospital, nor were they there when he was discharged. because at the end of the day, tommy doesn’t really have the insight to realize he shouldn’t be so rough with mick, especially in that moment. he doesn’t think he’s that bad still and continues engaging with him like he’s always had.

god, just looking back i can name even more instances of the crue physically assaulting the man…baby don’t worry you can say aggressive… i mean nikki pulled a clump of hair out of micks scalp, i promise you can say aggressive (i’d go as far as to say abusive but once again im being too woke and im in a shitty mood!).

ok… this has been a bit scathing huh, and no one’s going to like this opinion at all but.. yeah. they weren’t gentle with him at all, and with everything i know about the Crüe, it was likely cause they didn’t care to be gentle. i guess that’s why i like fics about this band that don’t portray them as evil monsters that hate each other… cause fiction is quite literally better than the reality of all this. i’m sorry this was so negative, im in a terribly negative mindset right now and probably will be for a while but… i still agree with my opinion tbh. OK IM SORRY FOR YAPPING THIS MUCH I KNOW IM TAKING THIS TOO SERIOUSLY AND I PROMISE I’LL STOP THAT SOON. STILL, THANKS FOR THIS ONE CAUSE IT GIVES ME A CHANCE TO JUST LET OUT WHAT I’VE BEEN WANTING TO SAY FOR SO LONG ACTUALLY <3333

#mötley crüe #mick mars #the more i think about it the more examples i can find #it’s so hard being positive sometimes so i apologize if this comes across as harsh #you know if you didn’t mention how hard tommy had pat his back i probably wouldn’t have said anything #i did make mention of the way he slammed the towel so hard close to his face though cause i thought it was just slightly funny #but also… you aren’t having a funny chat with nikki tommy boy #you’re having a discussion with someone much smaller than you; who can’t beat you up if you did slam the towel in his face #if i get crucified for this one i’ll laugh #they weren’t careful with that man and that raises a couple of questions for me #especially with what the band was doing to him for all those decades #i can’t help but yap about it #lily of the asks

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always-a-slut-4-ghouls · 5 months ago

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love how hua cheng is just like "I support xie lian rights and xie lian wrongs, except he can never do anything wrong ever even when he kills a bunch of people. Go off king" and Xie Lian is like “This is my beautiful husband, he has committed war crimes, but haven’t we all?”

And their relationship is somehow healthier than anything I've ever been in.

#emma posts #to be fair everything involving me didn’t have me aware that it was a thing #but I couldn’t compete anyway #tcgf #is it dating someone if they never told you they were dates and you misinterpreted them?#not asking for a friend #this is just straight up every situation I’ve been in #that’s as close as I’ve ever actually gotten to dating someone #I’ve witnessed plenty of other people’s relationships though #‘we’ve been dating for six months’ ‘those were dates?!’ ‘you asked me out first’ ‘and you rejected me!’ <- closest to dating I’ve been #all the other times I didn’t even ask the person out first. the just flat out never said it was a date and I thought we were just chilling #and all the other times I’ve asked someone out they rejected me and then DIDN’T ask me out without telling me they were asking me out #how was I supposed to know he changed his mind?#I’m still not over how I didn’t know we were dating until after we broke up #just the sheer comedy of my love life gets to me #comedy of errors ass love life #I’m getting really side tracked #Xie Liana’s friends were totally reasonable to think that someone stalking someone for several centuries is alarming #but somehow those two had it happen in the healthiest way possible???#I respect it tbh #only healthy relationship I’ve ever had that much sheer dedication in is me and my favorite cat which is a very maternal relationship #and i didn’t even actually kill the people who threatened him. they weren’t real threats but they knew they did psychological damage #to this day I wish I bit them until I tasted blood #but being in detention with them would have meant being around them longer than I had to be 😑#they have probably changed a lot since then but I still never want to see them again in my life #that might actually have played a slight role in how feral I get about protecting my cat 🐈‍��#I’m getting into personal issues again #our co-dependent parental dynamic. me and my cat. is perfectly healthy and I will not change it #said by someone who is not healthy but definitely will not change this specific thing #and the co-dependency is in fract mutual. that’s why it’s CO dependent

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proudfreakmetarusonikku · 4 months ago

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all the robotniks have autism I think. it’s not even a genetic thing half of them are adopted they’re just all autistic

#the adopted ones were created to be fair. gerald and eggman made them autistic i guess #they weren’t doing it on purpose they are Absolutely not diagnosed they just thought that’s how Everyone is.#shadow gets diagnosed and he’s extremely confused bc he just thinks that’s how everyone is #meanwhile metal sonic is self diagnosed but literally just bc she found out sonic is audhd. she's not Wrong though. she’s also audhd #well. as much as a robot with a very different psychology to living things can be audhd. she was literally modelled after a guy with it.#they are the only two robotniks who know what autism is. the rest are Oblivious #i mean like. they’ve probably heard of it they’re nerds through and through #but Gerald and Maria are from the 50s #eggman is at least in his 50s #none of them have an accurate modern understanding of it #sage has a Chance but she’s been alive for like three days give her time #before anyone gets all pissy about Bad Autism Headcanons I’m autistic I’m allowed to headcanon MY favourite evil geniuses as autistic #you cannot stop me I have the power of God and anime on my side

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womenaremypriority · 7 months ago

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one thing I love about the olympics is how often you see women who are the first ever in something. As much as I love and respect women who receive the “first women” title, being the first ever is so loud and important

#my post #even though we’d probably have more opportunities to be the first ever if we weren’t discriminated against for years 🤔

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miodiodavinci · 1 year ago

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laying down by a brook with one hand in the water like some kind of tragic prince , , , , , ,

#my break is now over and tomorrow resumes the final hell rush before the end of the semester #well i say break but in all honesty i spent 90% of it working or being so so scared for my car #i did get a little time to clean my room finally and turn into gelatinous ooze #though now i am The Slightest Bit Scared that i have gotten too oozelike and will not be able to fully reform into a functional being #in time to deal with The Horrors #(read: two intensely busy weeks on internship as i basically take over for my mentor all day)#(on top of the big portfolio assignment that my (project) partner Still Has Not Done Anything On)#like as long as i do my part i’ll get a B in the class no matter what but #aheem heem #my gpa that i worked so hard for….. i don’t want it to disappear…….#aaaaa it’s just hard to focus when i am so so tired and really just want like 5 solid days of No Thought Just Video Games And UTAU Dev #before getting back to my own big deadlines #i am looking at this document that i could probably write in 20 minutes but my brain is just. fried meat.#or more precisely i think i can get this done in an hour but Everything Else This Week?#i think i would have an easier time chewing shoe leather than getting my brain to do it all #if it weren’t for the fact that i would Literally go broke if i did not finish all this next semester #i would be soso tempted to take another semester off #only this time for my mental health………….

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froggychair05 · 1 year ago

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Is Dewey a bengal breed of cat?

They remind of me of ocelots!

Oh those are beautiful kitties 😍

Yeah, Dewey’s definitely a Bengal cat. And he’s still the same silly goober we all love :)

#minecraft story mode #mcsm dewey #you know I’m pretty sure Dewey’s a bengal cat in Enden’s SDV AU (which I go so crazy over every time)#I mean it just makes sense #if he weren’t a bengal though I’d probably make him an orange tabby because he’s a lil’ stupid as orange cats tend to be #but I do really love the bengal idea because look at them!!#bakery au #ask

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happy74827 · 1 year ago

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Not me getting five anon requests tonight. Good thing college has officially ended for me yesterday, because this is a whole class at this point.

Imma be BUSY BUSY

That being said, if ANYONE ELSE wants to send in requests… go ahead! I know I don’t really have a specific “this is who I write for” post, but if you look at my masterlist you can pick from there lmao.

Just know since I’ve gotten FIVE just from today, I might not be able to get to them immediately. It might take a couple days.

(Also I got a request for Ken Katayanagi, and since there’s like no screen time for either of the twins in both the movie and the anime, I’m literally reading all the comics just to get that characterization… so to whoever requested it… please be patient. I will do it, eventually. P.S. I’m currently on Vol 3 of the comic and I’m literally in love with it. After this imma be a full on Scott Pilgrim expert).

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hana-bobo-finch · 14 days ago

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hheh.oougghhhhh tgis is fine im not spiraling over something so stupid at all

#that stupid fucking clay moth. I am still viscerally angry but also just SO tired #isn’t it super cool how everything I try to do fails. usually because I ruin it. im so awesome #it’d be funny if I weren’t so tired #hhave I ever mentioned how tired I am. have not slept properly in over half a year. grins #I am so fucking jealous of anyone who can do anything properly. how do you do that. how do you do anything #how is it that everyone I know is insanely talented but I’m the exact opposite. how’s that work huh.#I think im just the annoying comic relief character of life #all over a stupid clay moth lmao #not really though I’ve kinda been messed up for a few months now but it’s fine probably maybe

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justtogetthrough · 23 days ago

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After crying for hours today after speaking with my vet my body finally demanded several glasses of water to replace everything I’ve cried out in the last day and a bit it seems.

My cat may need to be put down real soon. Possibly this week kind of soon.

They’re calling me back tomorrow to check in and decide whether I need to take her to an emergency vet.

I messaged my step kid to tell them she might have to leave us soon and I thought there’d be more time to organize a visit so they could say goodbye, but I’m not sure that’s possible anymore. This kid is the sweetest person you’ll ever meet and they made my night so much better. They’re going to come visit me anyway in a couple weeks even if my cat is already gone because they know not waiting longer than necessary is the best thing for her. They said they’ll come and be with me and make me food so I don’t have to be completely alone for at least a little while after she’s gone 😪

Haven’t heard back about the file recovery and quitting my masters is still on the table.

I don’t know if I’ve ever hated my life more, and felt so out of control.

#please please please let my cat hang on until a day or two after my kid arrives #i want them to be able to kiss her one more time #I think I’ve been in a lot of denial #her symptoms don’t seem that bad though. her quality of life isn’t terrible #it’s just a handful of things that show she’s really struggling #my vet spent so many months telling me there’s a good chance she’d stabilize with treatment that I kept clinging to that #I knew in December I needed to start accepting I need to put her down #but it was so hard when I kept being told let’s see what x amount of time on the new dose will bring #now it’s clear the meds weren’t working and out of NOWHERE she’s taken another decline #no change to her meds or food or anything.#she’s showing signs now it’s time and it’s like a punch to the gut and I’m still screaming no no no no no #my whole life has gone to ruins #the only light right now is knowing I’ll get to see my kid for a few days soon. and then it’s back to total darkness #mb #late night thoughts #delete #probably

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