#they need to have jules and verne and get a good start as a family and that's just nonnegotiable

[knickynoo]

Headcanons for what Marty and Jennifer are like as parents, and how Doc/his family interact with the kids?

Anon, this is such a late reply, and I'm sorry. I'm making a concerted effort to finally get to some of the asks I've been neglecting.

Also, I'm almost positive that I once made a post of Marty and Jen as parents headcanons, but I must have forgotten to add a link in my pinned post, and the Tumblr search function is useless, so I can't find it. Anyway, I may end up repeating some of what I put in there or even contradicting it, lol.

Of course, I'm going with the improved, happy Jen and Marty marriage timeline for this. So, as parents, they're a pretty united front. They're both very involved in all aspects of the kids' lives from the start and excited to embark on such a wonderful journey for their family.

Being first-time parents and also having twins leaves Marty and Jen utterly exhausted for, like, a solid year or two. They're happy, but they're tired. As such, they're sure to divide up the work, take over for the other when needed, and also rely pretty heavily on family for support. Jen's parents help out a lot, as do George and Lorraine. I can see Aunt Linda and Uncle Dave stopping by a good deal as well to help with tasks around the house or just watch the twins for a little while so Marty and Jen can sleep.

Doc and Clara play a very big role in the kids' lives! Of course! Doc and Clara love those McFly kids!!! Makes me lose my mind to think about. They don't even wait to be called upon or anything; they just show up at the house, announce they're taking Junior and Marlene for the day, hand a home-cooked meal to Jen and Marty, and then leave. Marty and Jen are incredibly thankful for their help, and Doc and Clara love having babies around again.

Doc is like the very chaotic uncle, but in like...the most responsible way. He's got Dad-Mode down pat at this point, and he slips right into it with Junior and Marlene, but he also knows how to let them have some (supervised) wild fun. He plays games that teach them science concepts and lets them help with small projects of his when they're able to do it safely. He also reads lots of Jules Verne to them. Marty definitely calls Doc one day and goes, "Junior and Marlene are playing an elaborate game of Around the World in 80 Days outside. Can I assume this is your influence?" The kids also start digging a giant hole in the yard at some point, and that's how Marty and Jen know they've started reading Journey to the Center of the Earth.

Clara absolutely dotes on the twins every opportunity she gets. They both find such comfort in her presence and love spending time with her. She has a special place in her heart for Junior. On nice nights, she takes Junior and Marlene outside to sit on blankets and look at the stars. She teaches them about the constellations and the stories that go with them.

Okay, this is something I know I mentioned in that other post I can't find: Marty writes individual songs for Junior and Marlene that he sings to them at night. It starts off as something he does to help them sleep at night, but it's a tradition that continues until the kids are much older.

Jennifer likes to involve the kids in as many experiences as possible, so she's always looking for little art classes they can take, museums to take them to, hobbies to introduce to them, etc. She also sets aside days every so often where she just takes one kid along for an afternoon of doing something special with them that align to their interests. Maybe on those days, Marty takes the other kid and does the same.

Lately, I've been thinking about Marty and Jen having a third child at some point and what that scenario would look like. One thing I know for sure is that they would not have an "M" name.

You'd sent this ask in late September, and I ended up writing two Doctober chapters that include Marty, Jen, the kids, and Doc and Clara! I'll link them in case anyone might be interested :) HERE & HERE

Thanks for the ask!

[dragongutsixofficial]

Never in my life will I understand why all cinema adaptations from The Mysterious Island stray so much from the book, to the point that they are two radically different stories.

Don't get me wrong. I absolutely LOVE the prospect of a remote treasure island inhabited by strange, eerie creatures- heck, even dinosaurs ! These stories are always a blast. Who knew what nature was hiding from humankind all along ? And how powerless are we against it? How fast can it erase us, along with the island, out of existence ?

But.. The Mysterious Island was never about what nature can do. It has always been about humanity, its good and its bad.

It has always been about a group of people finding themselves stranded on an island they know nothing about, with a teenager and a dog to take care of, and coming together to decide that they're gonna make something out of it. That they're not just gonna survive, they're gonna have a good life.

It has always been about them learning to love their new home and making it their own, it has always been about finding love and appreciation when you could let despair overcome you because humans keep hoping.

It has always been about what the love of a found family can do, against all odds.

It has always been about reaching out your hand to one another, and accepting them as your own even though you have no reason to. About how humankind is inherently good and enclined to help someone who is alone and struggling, and making them part of a community no matter what their past is.

It has always been about hubris.

It has always been about us seeing too big.

It has always been about us exploiting nature until it can't take it anymore. Until it isn't nature anymore.

It has always been about our spectacular lack of foresight.

It has always been about always striving to have more and better things, no matter how that might impact us in the future.

It has always been about the lack of responsibility humans feel towards the natural order of things, to the point that it can disappear overnight.

It has always been about beginning again, together, and honoring the memory of what we've lost.

It has always been about one of the most iconic polycules i've ever seen, their adopted son, their dog and their monkey.

It has always been about nitroglycerin.

A lot of nitroglycerin.

It has always been about Jules Verne needing to change the dates of Twenty thousand leagues under the sea just so his messy chronology could even attempt to start making sense.

It has always been about each new page being even more batshit crazy than the last.

It has always been about being a beautiful mess.

And it needn't be Jurassic Parc to be awesome.

[incomingalbatross]

All right I have headcanons about the Doc Brown/Clara wedding now.

Clara didn’t get a white dress for the occasion, because she’s not that fancy, but either wore or acquired a more practically-colored Best Dress—I’m assuming purple, because that seems to be her color.

They had the wedding whenever the preacher was in town, although I am admittedly in favor of them managing to plan it for a Significant Date like November 5 or October 26/27 or even New Year’s Day (okay, okay, they probably didn’t take four whole months to get married).

It was a small ceremony in Clara’s home (that apparently was just sitting vacant waiting for the new schoolteacher? okay sure whatever), which the Doc moved into after their wedding because a garage workshop is not actually a great home.

There weren’t a lot of people there, because neither of them has many close friends in town and also they’re both private people, but they probably had some guests. The bartender was definitely there.

We don’t know enough about Clara or the townsfolk to know who she got as her bridesmaid, but I’m going to say she made a female friend who was up for it.

Doc asked Seamus to be his best man, because it was the closest he could get to having Marty.

At first Seamus was like “I’m flattered, but don’t you have closer friends?” but Doc explained that it was in memory of “Clint Eastwood,” because it seemed like he and Seamus really bonded and Doc would like that link to be there. So Seamus agreed.

...But then, the morning of the wedding, there was an unexpectedly familiar knock on Doc’s door as he was getting ready. And then Marty walked in.

He was older than he’d been when he left—early twenties, maybe?—and all he could explain was that he’d ended up in this time genuinely by accident, and then run into Seamus and found out what day it was. Seamus had told him he needed to come be best man, and...well, Marty was basically physically incapable of saying no to that. He couldn’t change anything big, but he was here for the day anyway, so...?

So, in the end, Marty filled his rightful place at his best friend’s side as Clara walked down the “aisle.” (Seamus and Maggie were seated with the other guests—Seamus extra happy, because the strange boy he’d half-adopted wasn’t dead after all, and that was really all he needed.)

The Doc definitely teared up at this point as Clara joined him in front of the preacher.

(Marty also teared up, because he’d spent enough time with their future selves by now to know exactly how happy they were going to be, and he couldn’t believe he was here for the beginning of it.)

Afterwards, there was a party of some description—an impromptu thing that was bigger than the wedding, with townsfolk chipping in to organize it and show their affection for the new Browns. There was celebration and joking and music and dancing and a general good time.

Marty stayed on the edges of the party, mostly, trying to keep a low profile. (The Doc had come up with some story to explain Marty’s disappearance and return to the wedding guests, and also to ask them to keep it to themselves. Amnesia and vengeful outlaws probably featured in some capacity.)

However, toward the end of the shindig, when things had started breaking up and most of the people had left, he drifted over to the musicians and asked one if he could maybe borrow his guitar for the rest of the night...

And that’s how Marty McFly got to play at his best friend’s wedding party, watching with a smile as the Doc and Clara danced one last dance to his music.

(Was it “Earth Angel”? ...I’m not saying it wasn’t.)

And then the party was over, and everyone drifted home. Marty was the last to leave, hugging the Doc goodbye and congratulating him and Clara one last time. (“Will we see you again?” the Doc asks worriedly. Marty pauses, thinking about it. “I...can’t guarantee that,” he says. Then he grins, and clasps his friend on the shoulder. “But you can.”)

The Doc and Clara couldn’t afford to take a honeymoon. So when the party was over, and everyone was gone...they went home, too.

[padfootdaredmetoo]

A Tommy head canon

If he has a s/o who likes reading he has them read to him when he is stressed or wants calmed or just wants to relax with his s/o

he likes stories by Arthur Conan Doyle, Robert Louis Stevenson, Daniel Defoe , stories about far away lands, crime and exciting events

he likes his s/o playing with his hair, having his s/o sit on his lap or cuddled in bed together in private.

when he gets wealthy he makes his s/o a private library and fills it with his s/o favourite books, and some of his too. there is a comfy sofa in the library where they read in private together when Tommy is not working.

his s/o gets him reading more and it helps him in business, crime and politics.

he gets his s/o first editions, even signed copies.

Agatha Christie. Charles Dickens. Jane Austen. Victor Hugo. Jules Verne. William Shakespeare. Beatrix Potter. Lewis Carroll. Edgar Rice Burroughs. Brontë Sisters. Jonathan Swift. George Eliot. Louisa May Alcott. Leo Tolstoy. Rudyard Kipling. Oscar Wilde. James Joyce. Bram Stoker

Whatever book his s/o wanted he’d find it

When they had a child, Tommy loved seeing his s/o reading to their little one, knitting and sewing dolls, animals and other things from their stories. Tommy is sure their child has one of each character from Beatrix Potter’s books

Tommy usually gets interrupted by their toddler later on in his home office, stumbling in with a book and sewn toy in hand. He can’t say no and he ends up reading the book with his child.

His s/o usually finds Tommy and their child from birth through the years, asleep together and an open book lying forgotten

Dear Anon,

I simply adore this. Thank you for sharing it with me! Here is a little blurb that I thought up while reading that.

Date a girl who reads. That's advice he'd give to his son one day.

The life Tommy chose was on an easy one. He didn't have the time on his hands to do things a usual husband would do.

The evenings with you were blissful, he never sat in his study alone. You were always close by working on something. Most nights he would give up, coming to sit next you on the couch in front of the fire. You would come and curl up in his lap, silently hand him the book.

This was a part of their life that needed no words, he took up from the top of the page. His other hand tangling in your hair.

This act of love was what saved them after the war.

He was wishing he'd died in the depths of those tunnels, facing you as this empty void, knowing you'd pledged your precious life to his for better or worse. This was definitely worse, perhaps the worst.

But you weren't that soft girl he'd kissed goodbye either.

You'd taken up writing for the papers. You wrote all sorts of columns under a mans name. You and Polly had started women's book club that served a purpose of making a dark time lighter as well as sharing what little they had. Tommy assumed that during the war time they must have gotten up to no good more than once as they were as feared as the Blinders in most circles.

Her desk was placed in the living room, covered in books and papers. Top drawer was filled with letters they had sent back and forth. Tommy was someone to envy during that time. You would always send him a letter about what was happening, most of it bleak and depressing, but then you would send something you'd figured would help him sleep better at night. All sorts of wicked fantasy's, never about anyone specific, he often traded them for things. A thought you found hilarious, your naughty stories carried all over the world in the pockets of lonely soldiers.

You had to step into your own during that time, you were fierce and most people found you entirely disagreeable. While he was a shell of the man he once was, you were almost too bright to look at. You were so much like Polly now, and the two of them ran a tight ship.

They ran it in such a way that ensured people were taken care of, built up a reputation for the family that was easy push farther.

But he was afraid to sleep next to you, so he just didn't come to bed. A fantastic idea that only lasted two nights. The look in your eyes made him physically sick.

You were sitting on the couch in the living room, book in your hands. He shuddered internally when he thought of what you must think he was up to.

"Don't worry Thomas, you're not the only one who got used to running on no sleep. I can keep this up for days." Your glare hit him hard. He thought of shrugging it off, that was an easier path, but there was a twinge of hurt in your eyes that put him in line.

"I thrash. When I sleep. I don't want to hurt you." The words burned, he hated them almost as much as he hated himself.

"You won't thrash when your next to me." She said, glimmers of that soft girl shining through.

"Yes I will and -"

"You won't because you'll know your next to me. I don't care even if you do hurt me. But it certainly doesn't explain why you won't touch me when your awake." Your eyes were wet, the whole weight of the world seemed to be crashing down on them. A world they both worked hard to come back to and know that they are here they cant enjoy it. Or at least he cant. "What is she like?" You were properly broken now. Fuck. He sat down on the couch next to you finally.

"There isn't anyone else, love." He pulled you in close to him. "I just don't know how to be now that it's all over." He whispered, enjoying the way you griped him tightly. He cleared his throat.

"Now what are you working on, eh?" He picked up the book, feeling you shift to curl up with your head in his lap. He started to read, feeling the tension leave your slender frame.

That was how they made it back to each other. It was slow, page by page, night by night. He would forever be grateful that you had gifted him that time to come back you.

[daryfromthefuture]

Headcanons about the Brown family

If I say Brown family, I also include Marty.

This is more about the time when they move back to 1985/6

Doc and Clara love family activities, such as visiting museums or festivals. The kids prefer to stay at home or play outside as, well, most kids do

Einie eats dinner with his humans and Jules, Verne or Marty tend to slip him pieces of their meal to the dog, much to Doc and Clara's dismay

Clara may be more focused on science, but she also does "traditional" activities such as cooking or sewing. She loves the freedom women have in the 1980s compared to the 1880s, though

When any scientific topic is brushed during a conversation, Doc starts rambling and is unable to shut up. Marty and Verne get annoyed by that quickly, while Jules listens attentively

Marty teaches Verne how to skateboard

Clara is genuinly interested in Marty's life, she asks him about his hobbies and friends and tells him how women think so he can maybe surprise Jennifer with a nice gesture or gift

Clara learns how to drive, and the family gets an actual family car. That doesn't stop Doc from using the DeLorean from time to time (haha), mostly to hang out with Marty

Doc and Marty also spend time alone together at least once a week, so they can catch up and help Marty with all that's he's going through because of the past adventures. They do that at the garage, because I think Doc would've found a way to keep the garage despite needing to buy a house. They love to end their days with a movie night and falling asleep on the weary couch just like in the good old days

In summer, both the Browns and McFlys like to throw BBQ parties in the huge yard of the Browns together. They play games and chat and make jokes and it's generally a very relaxing time

Both Doc and Clara are in tears at Marty's graduation and when he gets his first gig

Jules, Verne and Marty once end up getting sick all at once and Doc and Clara mother the hell out of them, tucking each child into blankets and feeding them soup

Verne really looks up to Marty, as he's also that sort of hyperactive kid who rather has fun than doing homework

Jules is seen as a gifted kid by everyone else aside from his family, because both Doc and Clara know how hard it is to live up to gifted-kid-expectations. They don't expect their children to get good grades all the time, they only want to make sure they really study and if the studying doesn't help then heck with it

Marty once has a mental breakdown in front on the entire Brown family. Instead of embarrassing him, they comfort and reassure him in their own ways: Doc holds him close and lets him cry into his shoulder, Clara makes him tea, Jules distracts him by rambling about something scientific, Verne tells a joke to cheer him up and Einie licks his face

They all defend each other from various bullies; from people calling Doc a crackpot, from Needles teasing Marty, from kids calling Jules a nerd...

Jules may be smart in school ways, but he has no idea about basic everyday things that have nothing to do with having high intelligence

The only thing Jules and Marty don't like about each other is the other's music taste

Marty loves to play/sing in front of Clara and introduce her to modern music

The McFlys grow fond of the Browns very quickly and Lorraine and Clara become besties. Doc and George are sort of friends already, since George often asks Doc for scientific advice concerning his novels

[theplyxo]

okay. so.  at the very beginning of my remote work I’ve been looking for a TV-show with some oldy-goody vibes. you know. back to 90′s and 00′s. good adventure stories with cute jokes, family atmosphere command/cast and clichés like "good triumphs over evil", "there is always hope".

so, I’ve found something called ‘Stargate: Atlantis’. and. oh my, this very first episode just brings a smile on my face IMMEDIATELY. I’ve known nothing. I’ll repeat: N-O-T-H-I-N-G about this whole universe. I’ve read in Wiki, that there is actually a film and another series preceding these Atlantis events, but I was like: well, ‘Atlantis’ sounds too good, so I am staying where I am. I’ve binged those series so hard and not even a month has passed since I'm already on season 3 out of 5. I began to notice that there are references to past events. and after some  episodes with Jack O’Neill and Samantha Carter, I was like: I need to really know this guys. So I turned my attention to ‘Stargate: SG-1’. results: 2 weeks = 8 seasons out of 10. 

I haven't even finished the series yet, but I'm already barely holding back not to start re-watching it.

now there are 2 things that I regret. first, that I went through everything too quickly. secondly, it's that the show is older than me and I'm getting to know the fandom after over 20 years after its launch.

this show just took a special place in my heart. how skillfully it combines fantasy and space with the most vivid cliches and stunning effects-decorations, touches on mythology and history of different cultures, opens adventures in the spirit of Jules Verne in space and reveals the drama-romance between the characters so carefully. 

And despite anything this show, first of all and most importantly, is so believable. Series is not limited to one main plot. we are shown that there is life outside of their base, outside of their struggle with enemies. It’s also shows the impact of such discoveries on the Earth and its states. and most importantly, they show us so much hope. so much love and support. it's just so much more than just sci-fi. 

this show is human-oriented. and that’s why it’s unique. I simply cannot convey in words what this series has opened for me. 

basically, I just wanted to say that I have Stargate fever.

[martianbugsbunny]

OUAT Thoughts Pt.54--Episodes 21-22

I have watched through S5E22; spoilers DNI. Also, spoiler warning for anyone further behind than I am.

—*obnoxious sing-song voice* CAPTAIN HOOK IS BA-ACK!!!! *intense screaming*

—The second Zeus told him he was going where he belonged, I just held my breath. And continued to hold it through the entire funeral. What can I say, hope springs eternal! And this time (just this once) my hope was rewarded. Hook is back where he belongs *squee!* at Emma’s side….

—Oh, wait. He’s trapped in a cage with the Charmings and Zelena. Well, at least he’s alive.

—Robin’s death was kinda hard, though. I liked him. He was a goshdarn good guy. And I really feel for Regina. And for Roland.

—When Zelena decided to name her baby Robin, I bawled my eyes out. It’s so sad that Robin Sr. didn’t live long enough to know what her name was.

—I have been waiting forever for Jekyll and Hyde to show up. I just adore that story, it’s absolutely bonkers, and I am beyond thrilled that it actually got into OUAT. My first instinct was, hey, this is totally Jekyll and Hyde, but I couldn’t remember whether or not he physically changed when he switched between the persons, so I was dubious that it would actually turn out. So cool!

—Also, can I mention how much I love Darth Maul? It tracks, I swear. He’s one of the best parts of Star Wars, imo. His story is so complex and he’s enthralling. Which is partially due to his beautiful, beautiful voice—and here’s the track! Sam Witwer is going to be what really sells Mr. Hyde, I can just feel it. So excited!

—Zeus basically looked like the total opposite of what I expected. Which is actually kind of interesting, now that I’ve thought about it. You would expect the ruler of the cosmos to be big and buff and intimidating, but what does it say about his character if he’s kind of small and ordinary-looking? The answer: he must have some kind of charisma or draw to keep people following him. He must have something other than brute strength going for him. Which is kind of interesting.

—*salty* how come Zeus got to wear Greek-style clothes and Hades didn’t?

—Hades’ death was exactly the right kind of anticlimactic. That story got precisely the amount of mileage it needed, no more, no less.

—Zelena killing Hades to protect her sister was poetic. Especially the part where they cried over their dead loves together. And the bit where Zelena realized it was Regina who loved her most? Lovely.

—I still don’t like Zelena, but seeing her and Regina being proper sisters is nice. I think it works so well because they started off with a bunch of animosity, so they’re not going to be the overly touchy-feely variety of siblings that really honk me off. Most of the time, your conversations with your siblings aren’t going to be like Elsa and Anna’s. You’re not gonna spend most of your time hugging your siblings. You’re more likely to just sit in silence or quote memes at each other. Maybe talk about your current fandom-ings. Of course, a lot of people take it too far the other way and have the shallowest possible relationship and takes the teasing and mock-fighting to an extreme. I think Regina and Zelena are going to hit the sweet spot.

—Henry is being stupid. Like, I get that he’s upset about how often his family’s lives get screwed up by magical means, but how did he not stop to wonder if maybe destroying magic would hurt his very magical moms?

—That part of the library in New York with the bunch of storybooks was awesome.

—Rumple being in a regular (if incredibly posh) hotel room is weird. (Just looking at the TV screen I can smell the hotel air. It freaks me way out.)

—I knew Belle’s father would decide to be an arse.

—Emma’s funeral outfit was gorgeous. Semi-masc looks good on her. Suit jacket, button-down…yes yes.

—What’s up with Jules Verne world? Why do Jekyll and Hyde live there? Aren’t those blimp-thingies just the coolest? The answer is yes, they are.

—Also, Dr. Jekyll—or at least I’m 80% sure it’s Dr. Jekyll—is v cute. Bit of similarity to Archie? Yeah. Appearance, not necessarily vibes, although…maybe a little bit of that, too. I want to spend time with Hyde for his voice, which let’s face it is stunning, but Jekyll is just so cute! It’s either ‘dang, I get both!’ Or ‘how can I choose?’ I’m going with the first option. Great voice, cute guy, always one or the other.

[wistfulrat]

Good evening! Do you know any good enemies with benefits drarry fics? Thank you

hi anon! Y E S i love the enemies with bennys trope especially when it’s not just pure hate sex but like...reluctant confidant who im gonna engage purely out of spite?? frenemies to lovers if u will. they’re both getting something (sex, verbal sparring partner, emotional punching bag, wound healer) from the other while still having major unresolved feelings of resentment until the inevitable breaking point where they must Adress Things. anyway here’s a short list :)

Harry Potter Gives a Shit by @talithan - 58k, M

“Where are you headed?” “No place special,” Draco fumbled, and flushed further. But then: “I can change that,” said Harry Potter.

a remorseful draco who develops feelings after hooking up with an extremely messy and shitty harry who is dealing with his anger, hurt, abandonment issues, general trauma, etc. in the most selfish and reckless way possible. harry’s truly the Worst in this. his family (ginny, granger, weasleys) are written really well bc they 1) unconditionally love him but 2) are extremely done with his shit. on the other hand, draco will take what he can get bc he wants to be loved, cares a lot about harry, and knows he’s being mistreated but can’t bring himself to leave. they’re angsty fuck buddies for a while until inevitably, harry starts to fall in love with the draco everyone else has already accepted as a friend. u will read this and need to take several naps after but it’s worth it. mostly because it’s refreshing to read a version of harry that isn’t heroic or morally rigid but very sad and says things like “you make me want to let you take care of me” ....p a i n

Kiss The Joy (Until the Sunrise) by @icmezzo - 37k, M

The Room of Requirement was severely damaged in the war, but not so much that it could not provide for one lost student and another young hero—especially when they needed each other most of all.

it’s set immediately after the battle. they both want to hide but they’re met with the one person who will absolutely not let them rest. they hate each other. there’s hexing and shouting and sneering. but their resentment doesn’t stop them from benefiting from the other’s presence. the sentient room somehow provides an escape but also an opportunity for absolution. they talk even though they’ve nothing kind to say at first. they tend each other’s wounds even though they haven’t quite quenched their mutual bloodlust. it’s sleep-deprived, nightmare-haunted, hungry, lonely boys who grow to see that the other has what they need.

Strangeness and Charm by @drarrytrash - 45k, M

One November night during his eighth year at Hogwarts, Draco ends up in the forbidden forest. That’s how it starts.

or: If two boys fall in love in a magical forest, does it still make a sound?

one of my all time favorite fics in general (and feels complementary to Kiss The Joy). it’s the surreality of insomnia, a sentient mysterious forest, a chance to talk about things plainly in the twilight zone where they can pretend they don’t hate each other in real life. it’s an atmospheric dream of a fic that’s asking two very angry boys to suspend their disbelief and consider: what would it be like if you weren’t awful to each other? (also them reading twenty thousand leagues under the sea, a book where jules verne writes about the ocean as if she were sentient, the embodiment of love and emotion?? as the forbidden forest herself orchestrates harry and draco’s love story?? shutUP intertextuality) — anyway i would die for this fic it’s perfect

IDK My BFF Hermione? by @letteredlettered - 19k, E

"Because you're common too, aren't you." Malfoy seemed insistent; it was not a question. "You're just as disgusting and vulgar as I am."

"Yes."

"We were never any different, were we."

"No," Harry said, and kissed him.

—Draco's a hot mess. Harry's lovin' it (hell yes).—

all the war kids were robbed of their childhoods so this is their delayed rebellious phase (bc revolting against the government, although metal af, doesn’t count). ur gonna try and tell harry that he Shouldn’t lust after draco’s eyeliner? hmm good luck bitch. it’s lots and lots of steamy hate sex and general recklessness but also humanizing conversations about the longing to be good, free, desirable, wanted, forgiven, respected, seen but not hypervisible, left alone but not lonely. what begins as “im using u for pleasure bc i was denied this since birth” becomes “u make me feel like im not wrong for wanting things that make me happy” —because why write pure smut when u can write weepy philosophical smut😌

[rachelbethhines]

Vintage Shows to Watch While You Wait for the Next Episode of WandaVision - The 50s

So the first three episodes of Wandavision have dropped onto Disney Plus and like me you’re probably already obsessing over it. Also like me you’re probably jonesing for another fix while waiting for more as the episodes only come out once a week. 

But never fear, we literally have decades of cheesy comedy sitcoms to sift through to keep us entertained during quarantine. Along with the occasional action and/or horror stuff  if you’re so inclined. So if you’re trying to decide where to start I’ll be making short lists for each decade that coincides with each episode. 

1. I Love Lucy (1951- 1957)

The granddaddy of all American television sitcoms staring the first lady of comedy herself, Lucille Ball. While not the first sitcom to air, tv had been kicking around since the late 40s, this show did pave the way for many technical innovations for the new medium both on and behind the scenes. As such Elisabeth Olsen cited Miss Ball’s work as one of her inspirations for her role as Wanda in the series, as do many a woman entering into the comedic field. 

Also the show is just flat out funny. One of those rare 50s sitcoms that manages to overcome some of it’s more dated aspects through shear force of personality and peak comedic screwball antics. The only downside is you have to have Hulu to watch it as the copywrite is tightly controlled even to this day.  

2. Amos ‘n Andy (1951-1953)

The 1950s television landscape was overwhelemingly white. It’s no secret that POC had a hard time finding work in the field of entertainment let alone be the stars of the show. Amos ‘n Andy, a spin off of the earlier same titled radio show, was one of, if not the first black led shows on television and so deserves a mention just for that alone. 

Now I will not act as if this show is perfect or ahead of it’s time. The series was controversial even during its day for is depictions of racial stereotypes. Eventually the series was canceled because of protests from the NAACP despite being very popular in the ratings. However I’m a full believer that history should be observed and talked about in order to progress further so check out an episode or two on youtube and decide for yourself if it’s worth remembering or not. 

3. The Adventures of Superman (1952 - 1958)

Ok, not a sitcom, but as we all know, Wandavision isn’t just a sitcom it’s also a superhero show and this is one of the first tv series in this genre. It and the Fleischer Superman cartoons from the previous decade helped to make the juggernaut industry that we know today. 

Plus Superman did an official crossover with I Love Lucy, seriously. 

4. The Adventures of Ozzie and Harriet (1952 - 1966)

Hardly anyone talks about it today, but Ozzie and Harriet is the longest running sitcom to date. It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia being the only other show threating to up seat it come next year. However the two sitcoms couldn’t be any more different. 

The series stared the real life Nelson family who had got their start in radio as comedians and singers who then crossed over into tv. While the show was completely scripted it tried to hew as close to real life as possible, kicking off American’s obsession with platonic voyeurism. Much in the way Wandavision has the meta storyline of being watch in their own home. 

5. Father Knows Best (1954 - 1960)

Another radio to television entry here, however the series drastically changed the main character during the transition. During the 40s radio sitcoms were very biting and sarcastic, often either going the complete surreal screwball route or were satires of the day. This fell out of favor as tv became more dominated by commercials and advertisers feared offending their potential costumers. So things were greatly toned down as the decade progressed. 

Therefore when Father Knows Best hit the small screen gone was the rude and domineering dad and in his place we got the very model tv father; affable, gentle, loving, devoted, and very congenial. All traits we love to see in Vision some six decades later.      

6. The Honeymooners (1955 - 1956)

I physically can not make a recommendation list of 50s sitcoms and not mention The Hoonymooners. I just can’t. It’s one of the greatest sitcoms ever made and hugely influential. So much so that The Flintstones ripped off the series whole sale to the point that Jackie Gleason threatened to sue Hanna-Barbera. However there’s little such influence in Wandvision. 

See what made The Honeymooners stand out at the time and what gave it such longevity is the fact that the main characters were poor. They lived in a cramped and over crowded sparsely furnitured one bedroom apartment in Brooklyn. They owed bills, they dressed plainly, they worked long hours at low paying jobs, and they were often dirty from said work. 

Much like how Wandavision will pull back the curtain a little to see the reality hiding underneath their suburban utopia, so too did The Honeymooners defy the the ‘perfect American dream’ that was soled on tv during the 50s to show us the trauma of poverty and the only thing that you can do when you find yourself trapped within that reality, laugh. 

7. Leave it to Beaver (1957 - 1963)

You can not get any more quintessentially 50s than Leave it to Beaver. The series has become synonymous with the decade and it’s take on the ideal American family life to the point where it’s become a punchline of numerus jokes criticizing the values and attitudes of the era. 

Does it really deserve such mockery? Who knows. I think one needs to watch it for themselves to decide. However it slots right into the aesthetic that the first episode of Wandavision is trying to recreate and it must have been popular for a reason, right? 

8. The Many Loves of Dobie Gillis (1959 - 1963)

We featured wholesome family sitcoms and screwball comedies with married folks but we haven’t covered any surrealist humor yet, and Wandavision is seeped into that sort of stuff. That’s because there really isn’t a lot of fantasy in most 50s sitcoms. So while the trappings for episode one of Wandavision is very 50s the effects and premise is more 1960s. 

That’s where Dobie Gillis comes into play. Like Wandavision, The Many Loves of Dobie Gillis is based off a comic book, or comic strip rather. However that comic was very down to earth and tame compared to the tv show. More fondly remembered as the inspiration for Scooby Doo a decade later, Dobie Gillis quickly transformed from a typical coming of age show about teenagers to a surreal, sarcastic, tongue in cheek comedy, complete with get rich quick schemes, spys, bongos, and a giant chicken. 

9. Bonanza (1959 - 1973) 

Yeah, I know all of y’all are judging me right now. “A western in a sitcom/sic-fi list? What are you thinking?” Well one really can’t talk about 50s television and not mention westerns of some sort. They permeated all mediums and dominated the cultural air waves. And Bonanza is far more than just a western.

Bonanza is literally every thing. It’s every genre at once; western, historical drama, sitcom, action adventure, satire, crime drama, soap opera ,and yes even the occasional foray into science fiction, albeit with a more Jules Vern take than a typical spaceman theming. 

If Wandavision is a melding pot of seemingly disconnected genres then it’s because Bonanza paved the way with it’s similar breakage of formula. 

10 The Twilight Zone (1959 to 1964)

Yeah, you probably knew this was coming. When not being a homage to sitcoms Wandavision is a downright horror movie, but not one with gore and mindless monsters. Rather the show evokes old school surrealist horror, like that employed in the famous (or infamous) Twilight Zone. 

What you probably didn’t know is that we have the I Love Lucy show to thank for it. See Lucille Ball and her then husband Desi Arnaz had created their own production company in order to make I Love Lucy. This production company,  Desilu Productions, is responsible for picking up Rod Sterling’s pilot and producing The Twilight Zone. 

Runner Ups

Good shows that have little to do with Wandavision but are good anyways.

What’s My Line (1950 - 1967)

Just a really fun game show. Stars of the day would sometimes appear on it including many of the sitcom comedians listed above

Have Gun - Will Travel (1957 - 1963) 

One of the very few pure westerns that I can tolerate. The lead actually cares about people and justice and will stand up to bigots.  

Dennis the Menace (1959 - 1963)

While I have fond memories of the 90s film, I thought it was a tad redundant to put on the list when there’s already Leave it to Beaver. 

So there’s the 50s list. On Wednesday I’ll post a list for the 60s and cover some of the more obvious stuff Wandavision was paying homage to. 

[gravelyhumerus]

do you have any hcs for the characters in your college au’s interests in the sense of tv/movies/music? i’d love to hear them

YES!!!

JJ

she doesn’t have that much free time to really focus on things that aren’t soccer and school but she does have some favourites

as for music it’s stuff that can get her hyped up for running. she loves blasting music when she works out

“what? I rock.” is probably my favourite quote so I think she definitely listens to some classic rock that her parents played when she was a kid. she likes pop, anything with high energy. she was also not afraid to admit that she likes taylor swift

she cried the first time she heard hozier’s take me to church. she did not know why

as a kid JJ read every single book about horses. you know the ones about the young girl taming the wild horse and saving the barn? that story over and over again. she had the plot of black beauty memorized. its canon that jj was a horse girl and im certain she was that type of horse girl

Ros loved movies and JJ has fond memories of movie nights with her whole family. when her parents start to fight, and Ros retreats into herself, they stop. JJ claims she doesn’t have time to watch movies after that, she gets antsy as she watches them, feeling as though she should be doing something productive. she did see Twilight in the theatres with her soccer team on opening night but thats different

when she needs to escape, she watches comedies anything that she can do work while watching. she’ll work on her homework at the same time and she’ll just watch anything that requires minimal focus like parks and rec or the good place. she likes to keep it light and avoid material that could be triggering for her. 

she gets stuck rewatching her comfort shows and movies over an over bc of the anxiety 

she also does develop an interest in cheesy old horror movies with a bunch of jump scares because she likes the adrenaline rush, she laughs at Emily when she hides under the blankets when JJ puts them on

JJ also obviously watches sports when she can. she was always the tomboy of the family and she and her dad would watch it together. she and derek watch the game on the tv in their residences common room

Emily

as our fav big tiddy goth gf, we know Emily had a huge emo phase. I think it happened after she left Rome, and it was all encompassing. her music was angry, loud and she played it on her speaker system until her mom threw it out, then she resigned to play it in her headphones loud enough to give her tinnitus

once she shifted from her goth phase into being definitively alt, she didn’t let go of all of those songs, but shifted into listening to some music with queer undertones. we’re talking passion pit, mother mother, and of course: girl in red. probably some other like niche artists in multiple other languages as well. she loved italian music when she was there and WILL sing along to cheesy french pop music as well

we know emily is a big reader, and i think she has definitely trudged through all the classics like jules verne and jane austin before trying out some more contemporary works. unfortunately, since she moved around so often, she spent a lot of time at the library. her mom said that she wasnt allowed too have more than one box to pack her books in, so Emily has weaned her collection own to the essentials that she’s read over and over

she is a sucker for tv adaptations of the books shes read. she thinks it works better than 2 hour films because she likes how faithful they can be to the source material

most importantly: she is a nerd. she LOVES the x files and buffy the vampire slayer and firefly, all the 90s tv that she watched as re-runs growing up. sci-fi, dystopian, speculative fiction even some fantasy she eats it all up

she also is a sucker for documentaries that she watches to clear her mind or go to sleep. it’s one of the things that got her into studying criminology! she loved documentaries on murder investigations

[knickynoo]

Back to the Future: The Animated Series, s01ep06 "Go Fly a Kite" Review and Commentary

Link to previous episodes HERE

You know, I'm really having a blast writing up these posts. A big thank you to those of you who are reading these. Glad you're enjoying them.

In this episode: Electricity ceases to exist because Verne thinks he's adopted. Also, Marty is the Smart One for 2 and a half seconds.

We get a fun little surprise in this episode, which starts with a clip from the first BTTF film! It's a quick one, but we get to see the lightning striking the clock tower and Marty traveling back to 1985. Prior to this, we haven't gotten any footage from the movies woven into the episodes, so that's neat. Of course, its inclusion is due to electricity playing a big role in today's episode.

After the clip, we go to Real Doc in his lab, who continues to barely blink during these segments. If you've been keeping up with these posts, you're aware of my concern for Animated Series Real Doc. He's like Movie Doc but turned up 5 or 6 extra notches. There is a frantic, crazed air about him that isn't present in Movie Doc. A tangible sense of "some sort of fuse has blown in this man's brain" that I can't quite put my finger on, but it is there. Animated Series Real Doc is bananas.

I think—I think that Doc needs to go on a vacation. A nice, calm, relaxing vacation to a tropical island where he can sit on the beach and listen to seagulls and waves crashing. He needs to de-stress.

Real Doc tells us about Benjamin Franklin inventing the lightning rod, and how he was actually present on the night Franklin did his kite experiment. This brings us into the cartoon portion of the episode.

Jules and Verne are playing some sort of high-tech board game, complete with little holograph versions of themselves traveling around the board. Jules wins, and we see a tally chart indicating he's won the game 35 times, while Verne has won only once. When Verne asks how Jules always manages to win, Jules replies, "Face it, Verne, you lack the basic intellectual skills one would naturally expect in a member of the Brown lineage." He goes on to say that Verne isn't good at science and that he doesn't resemble their mother or father. While he's piling on all these insults, Verne is hitting a punching bag that has a picture of Jules drawn on it.

Jules says the logical conclusion is that Verne is adopted. Clara calls the boys to come eat then, to which Jules turns to his brother and says, "Ah, that would be my biological mother. Would you care to join my family for dinner?" He is being terrible. Poor Vernie.

Jules goes on to point out that there's a mysterious lack of baby pictures of Verne. "For all we know, you might even be a Tannen," he says, which makes Verne storm out of the treehouse in his little motorized car.

Meanwhile, Doc is in his lab putting the finishing touches on a new invention. It's a contraption that's powered by a mini flux capacitor and allows him to take a photograph of any person throughout history just by inputting a few pieces of information. ??? I don't. I don't really understand how this would work or what the point is, but ok, Doc. Also, Einstein is wearing those gloves that give him human hands again.

I find this to be unsettling and unnecessary.

Doc is just about to test the device (having decided to take a picture of Benjamin Franklin) when Verne comes flying into the room, demanding to know if he's a Tannen or not. When he mentions not having any baby pictures, Doc then goes to type Verne's name and birthdate onto the screen but is interrupted by an alarm that signals it's time for dinner. (I like the idea of Clara activating a big blinking light and a siren to signal Doc to COME EAT. That sounds like something that would happen.)

Left alone in the lab, Verne sits on the device's keypad and activates it. Because Doc had previously typed in "Ben Franklin" and then followed it with Verne's name, the device combines the two pieces of information and prints out a photo of the two of them. The result is a picture of Benjamin Franklin holding Verne as a baby. Naturally, Verne assumes this means that Ben Franklin is his real father.

We briefly visit the Brown kitchen then, where Clara is serving dinner. She stops Doc before he can reach for the food, and is like, "Aren't we forgetting something?" (she wants him to wash his hands) and I must include Doc's full response because it is. Something.

"Yes, yes. I should launder the epidermal surface of my upper forelimbs' terminal components, utilizing a perfumed block of rendered animal fat." That is TWENTY-TWO words just to say, "Right, I should wash my hands." Doc is so extra.

Verne steals the DeLorean and travels to 1752 to meet his "real dad", and he manages to interrupt Ben Franklin's kite experiment. This then causes all lights and forms of electricity to go out in the present day since Franklin never made his discovery. Marty soon arrives at the Brown residence, having concluded that every single light going out in town must be Doc's fault somehow. Very good conclusion, Marty.

The family gets a video message from Verne—Doc has begun to convert some of the house to run on steam, which is how the video goes through—where he says goodbye to them and that he's off to be with his real father. Jules admits that he's to blame for putting the idea in Verne's head, and we learn Jules's full name as Clara angrily says it: Jules Eratosthenes Brown.

Doc laments that now Verne is lost in time with no way for them to know where he went, but Marty knows just what to do! He rewinds the video, enlarges the image, and zooms in to see the date and location programmed onto the time circuits. "Marty, you're a genius!" Doc exclaims, then grabbing Marty in a too-tight hug. (I am glad Marty's getting a moment to show his intelligence here because 1. he deserves some recognition and 2. he's been an utter bonehead thus far in this cartoon)

Marty, desperately attempting to escape Doc's affection.

Marty, Doc, and Einie take off for 1752, where they proceed to chase Verne all around. Eventually, Verne comes across a large building that has a clock tower, and he decides climbing up to the top will be a good place to hide from his "fake dad" (aka Doc).

Upon reaching the top, Verne accidentally knocks over some building materials on the roof, sending lots of bricks and pieces of metal crashing to the ground. When Doc sees the crash and resulting pile of rubble, he fears that Verne has also fallen and is buried beneath it. He starts shouting for people nearby to help, but they don't seem particularly eager.

"Don't you get it?! This is my little boy I'm talking about!" Doc says to them. "My son! My own flesh and blood! He might be hurt!"

It's all very sweet, and the words of love even reach their way all the way up to Vernie, who is listening from a ladder.

Listen. I have such a soft spot for Verne Brown. This cartoon overall is bonkers, but I really like his character a lot. He is so wildly different from the rest of the Brown family, but he and Doc have such a special bond that adds to this show. I love this scene and how he's instantly moved to tears at hearing how distraught Doc is.

Verne decides that anyone who loves him that much must be his real father, and he calls to Doc from the top of the clock tower. Unfortunately, he slips and ends up hanging off the building. Hmm...what other Brown has done this before?

Doc scrambles to the roof and takes Verne by the hand, but then Doc slips and they're both dangling from the clock. Marty and Einie arrive, and they come up with a plan to rescue Doc and Verne. I should clarify, actually, that it's Einstein who comes up with the plan. He barks, and Marty goes, "Great idea!" and runs to follow him. They fly the time train by just as Doc and Verne fall, catching them safely inside.

With that crisis averted, they now have to deal with the other one: Ben Franklin's lightning experiment being interrupted. Seeing as the sky is clear, they must "create" a storm of their own, which Doc does by creating a lot of smoke via the train, having Verne spray a hose out the window, simulating thunder by banging on a pot, and creating lighting with some sort of device that generates large amounts of static electricity. It makes Marty's hair look very silly.

He has to crank the machine while holding onto Doc, who is dangling out of the train (Doc has to aim where the bolt of lightning will go). That's right. Marty is supporting all of Doc's weight just by holding him with one hand. More evidence for my "Marty has superhuman strength" theory.

The plan is executed successfully, and we return to 1991, where all the lights turn back on. Unfortunately, Clara had to break apart and burn every chair in order to run the stove while the guys were gone, so they're all reduced to sitting around and eating on the floor.

We end the cartoon with this sweet family togetherness moment, and then we get back to Real Doc. *throws confetti*

The live-action segment begins with a lab full of Hawaiian shirts hanging on a clothesline because Doc evidently decided to do some laundry while the cartoon was happening, and he lost track of time. After getting himself back on track, he uses some socks to demonstrate static electricity. He's still not blinking.

After Bill Nye shows us a do-at-home experiment using socks and balloons, we return to Doc, who gives us perhaps the best example of static electricity because his hair looks like THIS

He goes on to tell us that he has to look his best for tonight because he's meeting Clara for dinner. Which is adorable. I love that they have special little date nights together. I wonder if Marty babysits Jules and Verne while Doc and Clara go out. I hope Doc didn't look in a mirror and met up with Clara at a nice restaurant looking like that.

Overall, I enjoyed this episode. It's definitely the most heartfelt one so far in the series, and I like that it really shows us a glimpse of what a loving, dedicated father Doc is. I do, however, feel like it's also the least funny episode so far—which makes sense given the plot, of course. But it didn't leave a lot of room for me to make funny commentary. :(

Join me next time as I skip episode 7 entirely and jump to 8 instead because episode 7 is so weird and bad that I don't want to put myself through having to write a post about it.

[mcheang]

Happy birthday Lila

I’ve noticed that when Adrien and Marinette celebrated their birthdays, it was never during school.

Chloe would never celebrate her birthday with the commoners. She just invites Adrien and Sabrina for a special spa vacation. (As a model, Adrien needs to have a flawless face and even a manicure)

But what happens when Lila’s birthday comes around?

Marinette for sure wouldn’t attend. The whole class knows she doesn’t like the girl.

As a result, it is peaceably agreed that Marinette can skip the surprise party planning the rest of the class is partaking in.

Alya suggests they inform Mrs Rossi as well.

Rose was the one who proposed they hold the party on Juleka’s family boat after Lila talked about how fun Prince Ali’s yacht party was.

Adrien asked where Marinette was, and was informed she would be skipping the party so as to avoid any unnecessary discomfort.

Feeling bad for Marinette and not wanting to spend time with Lila any more than necessary, Adrien volunteers to spend time with Marinette so she won’t be lonely. The girls gleefully support this. Nino shrugs it off. Lila wouldn’t be too crushed, she told him herself she doesn’t like Adrien that way.

On Lila’s birthday, the class wishes her a happy birthday. Lila had earlier informed them that her Mother has planned a big surprise for her, apparently she is going to La Jules Verne.

The class had internally hid their winces. Sheesh Mrs Rossi, you didn’t have to raise Lila’s expectations. Their planned party food would be good, but not that good.

Lila was indeed told she would be spending the day with her mum, but assumes it will be just a normal fancy dinner.

Adrien wishes her a happy birthday. He had helped to plan her birthday but he hid the fact that he would be spending his own day with Marinette, deciding not to trust Lila with any information like he had done in telling her about Kagami.

Mrs Rossi blindfolds her Daughter and leads her to the boat.

Lila feigns glee but is internally panicking. Why oh why did they plan her a surprise party. She hates surprises, they leave her so unprepared.

Lila asks if her Mother will be staying and Mrs Rossi confirms that she cleared out her whole evening for her baby girl.

Rose excitedly adds, “And she can tell us all about your trip to Achu.”

Before Mrs Rossi could voice her confusion, Lila pounced on the nearest distraction she could find: a very cute guitarist with blue hair. “Oh, you must be Juleka’s Brother! Your Sister has told me how talented you are at reading music.”

Luka gave a small polite smile. He did not like this girl. Her melody was a discordant mess! But a party was a party.

Her own Mother was scanning the crowd. “And where is young Adrien? I would love to meet my daughter’s Boyfriend.”

Nino coughed out soda.

The girls gaped at either Rossi.

Luka knew he wouldn’t like the following conversation.

Alya was the one who finally spoke up, eyeing Lila warily. “Adrien is seeing the latest Jumanji movie with Marinette.... I didn’t know you 2 were dating.”

And I clearly don’t believe it, was what she didn’t need to add, but was heavily implied.

Lila laughed nervously. “I may have exaggerated my glamourous school life to my Mother. I don’t always have a good time at every school I’m enrolled in.”

Mrs Rossi nods, and rubs Lila’s cheek. “Oh, Ma Bella, you didn’t have to lie to me. I always want to know how you are. You don’t have to pretend to be strong.”

Rose fidgets nervously then hurried to change the subject because the air was getting awkward. “I know, how about Mrs Rossi tells us about your trip to Achu.”

Lila quickly demurred. “No, I want to hear your band play. I haven’t had the chance to see you perform live!”

Rose squealed and hurried the wary band to the stage. Nobody missed Mrs Rossi’s confusion.

As Lila hurried her Mother to the stage, she cast a silent pleading look to her to play along, out of sight of the others.

Guessing that Lila tried to make herself look good, Mrs Rossi sighed and nodded.

Kitty Section did play well. But Lila couldn’t really enjoy the party. She could sense her class’ unease, her Mother’s disappointment, and she was irked that Adrien chose to skip her party to go on a date with Marinette! But she can stew on that later. Right now she had her reputation to save.

The main problem was her mother’s lack of information of Achu. She may be a diplomat but even she can’t remember all worldwide country customs and dignitaries!

As the band played, only innocent Rose believed in Lila. Alya was really tempted to check the internet but refrained out of politeness to the band.

Nino personally felt betrayed. Lila lied to him, didn’t she?

When the band finished, and it was time to light the cake, Lila made a wish that she would survive this party. (She really should have been more specific. Of course no one would murder her at her own party).

While they ate the cake, Rose persisted that Mrs Rossi tell them about their time planning fundraisers with Prince Ali.

Lila silently blessed Rose for giving enough information.

Mrs Rossi gave a delicate cough. “Well, planning royal fundraisers is actually harder than your average fundraiser. The bigger an event, the more there is to plan. But I must say that Prince Ali is the most caring and responsible man I have ever met.”

And here Mrs Rossi made her first unwitting mistake. She assumed that the fundraising Prince was grown up, not a boy who should be in school.

Rose looked confused by her phrasing before assuming Mrs Rossi saw Ali as a boy older than his years, and thus a man.

The class was more skeptical.

“Oh, but I’m sure Lila was amazing at it. To think that she could juggle fundraising, sightseeing, catching up with our lessons and homework!”

At the second sentence, it was Mrs Rossi’s turn to choke. She could excuse Lila’s lie about working with her, but that bit about school work began to raise suspicions in her mind.

If Lila lied about her school life, could she have lied about the akuma attacks too?

But why? Was she so nervous at school? That can’t be it. Her class seemed so friendly when they called her to plan the party.

Mrs Rossi has not been blind to their suspicion, and now gave her own Daughter a stink eye.

Lila tried for the innocent look. At this point, Lila only prayed she could still salvage her truancy.

Thankfully, it was still her birthday. They would be polite for her sake. Once the party was over however, all bets were off.

It was the most awkward party Lila had ever been to. None of her classmates except Rose would talk to her. Even her own Mother couldn’t face her.

Goodbyes were curt and tense.

Lila couldn’t hope to attract an akuma with only her dread, let alone with her Mother keeping a close eye on her now.

Alya began to work on Lila’s claims, starting with why Marinette believed Lila was lying. Marinette was currently with Adrien and he gave the OK. Marinette admits she saw Lila throw a book aside and Ladybug confronting her. (She phrases it as if it was by chance. Adrien thanks her for saving him from homeschooling and is furious with Lila)

Juleka asks Rose to question Ali about Lila. Rose naively agreed, thinking Juleka meant to remind Ali it was Lila’s birthday. Oh poor Rose. What a shock she received.

Kim was asked by Alya to look up Lila’s ailments.

The next day at school, the class were seething with rage or just plain hurt. Even Marinette wasn’t smiling because of the negative atmosphere. On the bright side, her date with Adrien had been perfect!

Adrien had finished explaining his reasoning for not calling out on Lila to the class - that she attracted an akuma when he calmly chided her - until Marinette pointed out the akuma was originally meant for her when she felt left out by her class for seating arrangement and Lila’s threat (which is a whole lot more believable than Lila getting Akuma angry from a simple request to be honest)

Adrien is excused and is now out for Lila’s blood.

It is a twist. For once, Marinette was early. Alya dragged her out of bed for an emergency class meeting about Lila. The latter arrived as late as she could to delay the confrontation.

After convincing her Mother that she just felt pressured to make a good impression on her class, that she wanted to assure her Mother she had made friends, and that the Achu lie had taken place years ago, Mrs Rossi agreed to forgive Lila but forced her to attend school and to apologize to her class for lying to them. Yeah right!

Lila spent all night preparing an excuse. She could excuse her mother’s expressions and choking as unprepared for such interest in her job. But the main root of their suspicion came from her lie about Adrien. She knew the girls were fiercely defensive and supportive of Adrienette (gag her already). She could say that her Mother had been worrying about her finding a stable boyfriend, and Lila had mentioned Adrien before knowing about Marinette’s crush on him.

Lila crossed her fingers to find confusion and mild suspicion. She found anger and betrayal instead. Alya and Adrien looked especially hateful at her.

Oh crap.

Lila decided to take the lead before the class could. “I know why you’re all upset, but I can explain!”

She gave her excuses.

The class did not look appeased.

Rose finally burst into tears. “You’re lying. You’re lying! I spoke to Ali last night. He never heard of you before!”

Lila had to stop herself from retreating. “He’s a busy prince. He can’t remember every one of his associates.”

“You aren’t even friends with Ladybug. Adrien told us about it!” Ok, so now Alya was lying. But she didn’t want Lila to target Marinette anymore.

Nino blurted out, “You stole my man Adrien’s book and threw it in the trash!” Ok, how did he even know that? Did Ladybug catch her in the act before confronting her. Ugh, Alya must have gotten an interview beforehand.

Adrien’s cheeks were flushed and he glowered at her. “And you threatened Marinette.”

Lila glared at said girl. Marinette only looked at Lila in pity. How dare she? Then she quickly changed to a scared face and began tearing up. “Me? She’s the one who threw a napkin at me!”

“Yes,” Alix said sarcastically, “a soft napkin that can apparently blind a boy with glasses.”

Max pushed those glasses up. “We will avoid mentioning that moment please.” It will forever be a source of embarrassment to him. How could he have been so gullible?

Kim crossed his arms. “Speaking of that napkin incident, how do we know your ear and wrist were ever injured?”

Lila gasped. “Of course I was. Why would I lie about that?”

Mylene wasn’t impressed with Lila’s show. “Gee, maybe it was so we would buy and carry your lunch?”

“Or so you could sit next to Adrien?” Nathaniel muttered.

“You can’t prove I was faking,” Lila pointed out. “My wrist sprain has healed and my tinnitus was cured long ago.”

Chloe scoffed. “Like it’s that hard to check on your medical records and doctors’ notes.” Well... not hard for her.

Alya straightened. “And we actually have witnesses this time.”

Adrien nodded. “I was actually there when Ladybug came over, remember Lila?”

Of course she remembered. That was the most humiliating moment of her life.

“And if I recall correctly, your wrist was fine when you admitted you lied to me.” Marinette was so relieved the truth was out.

Sensing her “I was honest” route wasn’t working out, Lila switched tactics.

“Alright,” she wailed. “I admit I’m a big liar.”

The class waited, not sure whether to believe her this time.

“I only wanted to make friends. I had heard so much about your accomplishments and was afraid you all would look down on me.”

Adrien wasn’t falling for it. “If you wanted to make friends so badly, why threaten Marinette.”

“I was scared she would take you all away from me. I didn’t mean it!”

Adrien’s face didn’t soften. He remembered Lila’s grudge against Ladybug. “Stealing my book?”

“It was a mistake! Anyone can make mistakes right?”

Marinette admitted this was true. She stole phones, but at least she returned them! She felt herself softening just a tiny bit.

Ivan growled; “serving you lunch?!”

“I forgot my lunch money.”

Juleka mused, “that still doesn’t explain why you were absent.”

“Can you blame me? I had been akumatized. I was embarrassed.”

Sabrina levelled a look at the liar. “It’s still truancy, Lila.”

“Yes, it is,” came a new voice. The class turned to see their frowning teacher finally cross the threshold.

Late as Lila had been, Caline had come to the class soon after but had decided to stay in the shadows to eavesdrop. No one knew how much she had heard.

“Young lady,” she said sternly to Lila, “go to the Principal’s office. I think it’s time we called your Mother to discuss your absence at school, bullying and how long you’ve had your ailments.”

As Lila meekly followed her teacher, Ms Bustier added to Marinette, “Oh, Marinette, you’re in charge. The rest of you can revise pages 65 to 79. I have a feeling I may take a while.

I’ll let you imagine what the class did when the pair left.

When Ms Bustier returned, Lila was absent. Ms Bustier refused to divulge what had happened.

Like that was going to stop Chloe. She asked the principal what had happened to Lila, and told Sabrina and Adrien, who told Alya who told everybody else.

Mrs Rossi came down from work and was astonished and hurt that her baby girl was so wicked and deceitful.

Lila was currently suspended, would not return to the class since she wouldn’t be welcome, and would repeat the grade. She should have been expelled but apparently the principal bought her sob story about how her threat to Marinette wasn’t real and that she just wanted to make friends. Mrs Rossi was skeptical but didn’t want her Daughter expelled. However she had her own punishment, Lila was grounded. She would have no allowance.

It was official. Lila had the worst birthday ever.

On the bright side, she got presents on the boat, even Adrien had given her one.

Lila stifled a yell when she saw Adrien post an Instagram photo of himself and Marinette at Disneyland. He wanted to thank her for returning his book and to comfort her after Lila’s long ago threat.

What surprises is me is that I could actually see the class forgiving Lila with her latest excuses. Except Adrien. He can’t forget her role in Oniichan. But then Caline came along and had to be the responsible adult. She can excuse bullying all she likes, but she can’t excuse truancy, forged documents and an angry model with a large fan base furious about Marinette’s treatment.

[kodigriffinofficial20]

As promised here is the filled out version of the character sheet. I know it has been a whole day later but here it is.

“Extremely detailed character sheet template”

Character Chart

Character’s full name: Benjamin Rose Steven Rodgers

Reason or meaning of name: “Benjamin” was his grandfathers name (on his fathers side) “Rose” was his grandmothers name (on his mother’s side) and because his last name is Rodgers the family wanted to put Steven in there somewhere because of Captain America.

Character’s nickname: Captain of America.

Reason for nickname: He was in the military and because of last name and rank of Captain he was dubbed “Captain America”

Birth date: November 30th 2030

Physical appearance

Age: He is 29 at the beginning of my book.

How old does he/she appear: 25ish-ish

Weight: 265

Height: 6 foot 3

Body build: very muscular.

Shape of face: I don’t know, think Steven Amell-ish

Eye color: blue

Glasses or contacts: neither.

Skin tone: kinda light but tans well. Think Alycia debnam Carey

Distinguishing marks: I don’t remember any right now.

Predominant features: I don’t know what this means.

Hair color: brown

Type of hair: I don’t know, very over grown and long. you would have to read the book to understand why.

Hairstyle: I don’t know, very over grown and long. you would have to read the book to understand why.

Voice: kinda deep but not like James earl jones. Again think Steven Amell

Overall attractiveness: Again think Steven Amell mixed with Chris Evans and a little bit of grant gustin? I don’t know that’s what I see when I picture him anyway.

Physical disabilities: can’t draw, afraid of heights, overly sarcastic, bad luck, gets injured a lot, kinda clumsy.

Usual fashion of dress: prison clothes for now.

Favorite outfit: pajamas.

Jewelry or accessories: watch, AR-15, shotgun, .45 ACP, 9mm, m4 carbine, and Kevin.

Personality

Good personality traits: loyal, stubborn, fight till last dying breath, survivor, sarcastic, funny, a leader, wise, adapts well, a good friend, trusting, trustworthy, and Macgyver like.

Bad personality traits: stubborn, sarcastic, trusting, puts himself into danger to often, not cautious enough, unlucky, clumsy, self deprecating, impatient,

Mood character is most often in: sarcastic anger and story telling indifference.

Sense of humor: sarcastic, self deprecating, light hearted.

Character’s greatest joy in life: Kevin.

Character’s greatest fear: Heights.

Why? Because heights are freaking scary man, that’s why.

What single event would most throw this character’s life into complete turmoil?

There are a lot of different things that could happen that could do that. But I can’t say any of them without spoiling the book.

Character is most at ease when: petting Kevin while reading him a book.

Most ill at ease when: when Kevin takes to long to come back from his outings.

Enraged when: a crop dies or an earthquake happens.

Depressed or sad when: one of the birds dies or When thinking about everything that has happened to him.

Priorities: escape

Life philosophy: survival and petting Kevin (which was a new addition)

If granted one wish, it would be: freedom from where he is

Why? Because he doesn’t like it there

Character’s soft spot: Kevin or an old friend from the Army named Flash.

Is this soft spot obvious to others? If it’s Kevin than no because there are no others. If it’s Flash than yes it’s very obvious.

Greatest strength: his gun abilities.

Greatest vulnerability or weakness: heights.

Biggest regret: going to prison

Minor regret: not asking some questions of Certain people.

Biggest accomplishment: Winning the Medal of Honor/silver star/Purple Heart.

Minor accomplishment: Saving America

Past failures he/she would be embarrassed to have people know about: none that I have put into the book or can think of.

Why? Because I can’t think of any.

Character’s darkest secret: I can’t tell you that.

Does anyone else know? Not even me.

Just kidding, but no, literally no one on planet earth knows but me.

Goals

Drives and motivations: survival

Immediate goals: getting out of there.

Long term goals: finding out what happened then finding Jimmy and getting revenge.

How the character plans to accomplish these goals: by blowing stuff to smithereens and walking out and then hunting him down and shooting him in the face.

How other characters will be affected: they will also be shot in the face.

Past

Hometown: Denver Nebraska USA

Type of childhood: Nice? I don’t know what the question wants from me.

Pets: one golden retriever when he was six but it died when he was 13.

First memory: going to court with his father

Most important childhood memory: his parents dying when he was 14

Why: because his parents died when he was 14

Childhood hero: his “uncle” Greg

Dream job: Army soldier

Education: high school

Religion: Christian

Finances: very good.

Present

Current location: undisclosed location in in the USA

Currently living with: Kevin

Pets: several birds

Religion: Christian

Occupation: none

Finances: none

Family

Mother: dead

Relationship with her: none but before she died it was very good

Father: dead

Relationship with him: none but before he died it was very good

Siblings: none

Relationship with them: none

Spouse: none

Relationship with him/her: none

Children: none

Relationship with them: none

Other important family members: none

Favorites

Color: blue

Least favorite color: yellow

Music: Dan+Shay

Food: Chicken Alfredo, fried chicken, steak, mashed potatoes and gravy, cheddar and broccoli soup are his favorite foods.

Literature: anything by Jules Verne or Kodi Griffin

Form of entertainment: reading

Expressions: “We’ll burn that bridge when we come to it” or when asked how things are done or how he did that he replies “fermentation”

Mode of transportation: truck or walking

Most prized possession: Kevin or AR-15

Habits

Hobbies: working out, reading, meditating, listening to music, and writing in a journal.

Plays a musical instrument? The drums but that was a long time ago.

Plays a sport? American football back in high school.

How he/she would spend a rainy day: playing in the rain or on his bed reading with Kevin.

Spending habits: none anymore.

Smokes: absolutely not.

Drinks: occasionally but not really.

Other drugs: absolutely not.

What does he/she do too much of? Danger, working out, and reading.

What does he/she do too little of? Safety

Extremely skilled at: shooting, fighting, blowing things up, surviving, getting hurt, and petting Kevin.

Extremely unskilled at: doing nothing, waiting, art, and cooking.

Nervous tics: sarcasm and biting nails.

Usual body posture: that of a soldier but sometimes a teenager.

Mannerisms: Not really sure.

Peculiarities: I don’t know.

Traits

Optimist or pessimist? A realist which I guess means he leans more on the pessimist side

Introvert or extrovert? An introverted extrovert?

Daredevil or cautious? Daredevil

Logical or emotional? Logical

Disorderly and messy or methodical and neat? Methodical and neath

Prefers working or relaxing? Working

Confident or unsure of himself/herself? Confident

Animal lover? Yes siree

Self-perception

How he/she feels about himself/herself: wants himself to live confident about his looks and doesn’t care what people think about him or his looks.

One word the character would use to describe self: fighter

One paragraph description of how the character would describe self: “A survivor until the bitter end. A fighter for freedom, peace, justice, and the American way. And if all else fails kill everything I see and be the last one standing.”

What does the character consider his/her best personality trait? His sense of humor

What does the character consider his/her worst personality trait? Judge of character.

What does the character consider his/her best physical characteristic? Eyebrows

What does the character consider his/her worst physical characteristic? Hands

How does the character think others perceive him/her: He doesn’t care about what others think of him because he is his own man and his own self worth is what truly matters.

What would the character most like to change about himself/herself: the way he approaches certain things

Relationships with others

Opinion of other people in general: doesn’t like them all that much. yes people are needed but most of them he don’t care for

Does the character hide his/her true opinions and emotions from others? Yes

Person character most hates: jimmy

Best friend(s): Flash and Kevin

Love interest(s): none, at any point in my book

Person character goes to for advice: none maybe Kevin

Person character feels responsible for or takes care of: Kevin

Person character feels shy or awkward around: none

Person character openly admires: Kevin

Person character secretly admires: Kevin

Most important person in character’s life before story starts: Flash

After story starts: Kevin

[yakumtsaki]

Alright you guys, sorry for the delay, I’ve had to restart this post 20 fucking times because my changes weren’t being saved in the draft and then I kept getting the ‘upload failed’ error. In case you don’t remember wtf is going on you might wanna re-read the last update (I certainly had to) which is apparently from JUNE 2018. Jfc I suck so hard. Now this was gonna be really long but tumblr wouldn’t post it so I’m breaking it up in 3 parts, part 2 to be posted tomorrow. For those that don’t feel like reading back, general recap of the last couple updates:

Jojo cheated on Wyatt with Max Flexor and my solution to that marital crisis was to adopt our first dog ever, a puppy hilariously named Maxx.

The puppy grew up to be an asshole and is constantly beating up the cats, who have turned into giant pussies (no pun intended) and are losing every fight to him despite the fact they’re named after Mortal Kombat characters. They’re a fucking disgrace to Alegra’s/Victor’s/Ronroneo’s memory and I haven’t settled on a cat heir yet because they both suck.

Jojo is perma miserable, I don’t even remember how much money away from his 100k LTW, and still not a werewolf despite my pathologically persistent attempts to make him friends with the wolf.

Fucking useless Wyatt didn’t get promoted while Komei was alive providing us with his 100 townie friends, we spent 20 updates befriending every rando that crossed our lot to secure his promotion, and then finally on the day he was supposed to become Captain Hero, Wyatt got, of course, fired and is now on track to take longer to complete his literal career based LTW than Komei took to get 6 pets on the top of their careers.

Absolutely everyone hates noogie addict Shajar, she got a Kylo Ren makeover, and we still don’t know what her sexual orientation is thanks to her ridiculous fitness/fatness turn ons and cleanliness turn off.

Golden child/10 nice points freakshow Cyneswith grew up, rolled romance with the most disturbing turn-ons/offs possible (grey hair/mechanical & charisma turn off) and the 20 simultaneous lovers LTW.

Wulf grew up into a kid, got an Amadeus makeover, is officially a Wyatt clone and the only member of this family I don’t completely hate yet.

Now I’d like to begin the first Union post in more than a year by requesting you do me a solid and lower your expectations for this thing as far down as humanly possible. Like really try to recreate the Jules Verne classic “Journey to the Center of the Earth” with your expectations here, because my brain is so fucking fried that there’s a 20% chance I randomly start citing sources at some point during this post. This grad school crap has seriously been the worst trade deal in the history of trade deals, maybe ever. And speaking of bad trade deals, let’s get this update rolling with the man, the myth, the legend, the husband who managed to make Komei look like a dreamboat in comparison..

..Wyatt fucking Union, née Monif. It’s been a long time, but I’m not gonna lie to you Wyatt, not nearly long enough. Looking good man, just one small question, where the fuck are your eyebrows?

-You àccidéntally deléted thém, imbécilé, et I cannôt exprèss my irritatiόn prόperly becausé I hàve non eyebrôws!

Did your selective French accent get thicker this past year or is it just me?

-It géts thickér whén je suis distrésséd, givé moi mon eyebrôws bàcc!!!

No can do, brother. Actually can do, but I think the Mona Lisa look is working for you, and more importantly I still hate you, so I’m just gonna hardcore ignore you for the rest of this post if that’s ok. Talk to me when you finally get promoted, aka never the way this shit is going.

-Non! NON! MON EYEBROWS!

It’s been lovely catching up.

Jojό I mean Jojo, goddammit Wyatt, is spending most of his time building robots in the mausoleum (sweet hipster band name alert)..

..giving financial advice in Shajar’s room (inb4 what’s the difference between the mausoleum and Shajar’s room)..

..building evil snowmen alone in the middle of the night, like all mentally healthy middle aged men with 3 kids are wont to do..

..and getting the piss harassed out of him by the cat ghosts in the bathroom (sweet hipster band name alert #2). How is this like the fourth time this happens in the exact same spot, will you just stop autonomously cleaning the bathroom after midnight? It’s obviously where the cats hang out, give it the fuck up already.

-I’m actively TRYING TO DIE you absolute moron, what does a guy have to do to get killed around here?

Yea can’t say that I blame you but not happening, you can commit suicide by Ghost Alegra after the kids fuck off to college, ok? I promise.

-Oh like you promised me being heir was a route worth pursuing??

Um obviously you too need to go back and re-read your own life story, because I spent the entirety of our “““cherished””” time together telling you heirship is a shitty gig at generation 2. And then to top it off you went and married Wyatt to ensure maximum shittiness, so there you go, fucking enjoy. God I am so sick of both of you losers and we’re only 5 pics in. Let’s check in with your spawn, I’m sure they can’t possibly be more annoying than their parents-

-oh right, I forgot, this is the generation with 10/10/9 active points where the party never stops. Cyneswith are you somehow twerking to classical music?

-How else am I gonna attract all those hot senior citizens per my grey hair turn on and 20 lovers LTW?

Ok great yea I see how this is gonna go, you’re trying to entice people into voting you for heir based on how torturous playing this fucked up LTW is gonna be for me, well forget it, my readers are intellectuals and completely above such petty entertainment. (istg mofos, don’t even think about it, i already did Komei’s 5 pets career shit, i will burn this place to the ground if you saddle me with Cyneswith banging the elderly for 30 years)

-No need to worry your stupid little head, I will beat Cyneswith for HEIR just like I beat her HAIR up daily! HAHA!

Shajar no offense but you’re a fucking war crime of a sim, nearly everyone who’s ever met you hates you including your parents, and the fact that you’re the alternative here is really not helping my situation in any way. Also how the fuck are you gonna be heir when the only thing you seem to be attracted to is giving noogies, you’re like one week away from college and I still don’t even know if you’re str8 or gay or bi or w/e the fuck you are. You have Jojo’s personality combined with..

..yes exactly, DANIEL’S SOCIAL ABILITIES. I mean I was joking with the whole ‘Shajar’s the spawn of Satan’ thing, but this combo of traits was clearly drawn up in Hell’s boardroom.

ANYWAY. It’s a snowy Sunday morning, and anyone who has been a teen knows what that means:

Time to go clubbing! Man I remember being like 15, waking up on a freezing Sunday morning and my mom making me a cup of hot chocolate before I drove off to the club. Those were the days.

-Uh, Shaj, when did you learn how to drive?

-Don’t be stupid, Cyneswith, people don’t need to ‘learn’ how to drive.

-They absolutely do, actually.

-Well what can I tell you, the dark side of the Force is a pathway to many abilities some consider to be unnatural.

-Here we are, safe and sound! Celebratory noogie!

-YOU RAN OVER 9 PEOPLE

-How many times to I have to explain this to you, Apartment Life townies are not people.

Can’t argue with that logic. Let’s just go in and find out what Shajar’s sexual orientation is once and for all so I can spend the rest of this update aggressively promoting Wulf’s candidacy.

Now I consider ‘a picture is worth a thousand words’ one of the dumbest sayings there is, but even I have to concede that this particular picture truly is worth a thousand words. Quick poll, what is more horrifying, Shajar’s literal Joker face or Cyneswith, whom I’ve never seen read a book ever, autonomously pulling one out in the middle of the dance floor, in what I can only assume is an attempt to attract old perverts with the schoolgirl routine?

And I know what some of you are thinking, you’re like ‘bro, you’re just reaching to make a bad joke bro, Cyneswith is just a sweet nice introvert and not like other girls, she doesn’t feel comfortable in the club’, well to that let me reply with another picture that is worth a thousand words:

Yea that’s right, on the first minute of our first time out WE RUN INTO THAT ONE ELDER TOWNIE THAT HAS WRINKLE MAKE UP ON. GODDAMMIT CYNESWITH

Do you guys remember how Jojo was obsessed with Stephen Tinker as a teen? Are you seeing the connection here?? Those kids have literally inherited the worst possible traits from both their parents turned up to 11, it’s fucking unreal.  

Right after I get over Wrinkle’s presence I turn around and what do I see, those 2, who have never had a non-noogie physical interaction, autonomously doing the family kiss thing. I didn’t even catch it on time because I was loling irl, we came out here so these assholes can find age-appropriate partners, and instead they’re kissing each other. Seems about right with this family, and clearly Striped Scarf’s dumb ass ships it.

-They look so much alike, it’s meant to be!

Yes, and they even share the same last name! Talk about written in the stars.

Thankfully Abhijeet is here to save us from incest by perving on Cyneswith. GTFO ABHIJEET. Anyone like ‘bro townies just autonomously come to greet your sims on community lots regardless of age, stop calling them perverts’, see you in about 5 pics down.  

I try to have Shajar chat up Striped Scarf and suffice it to say Shaj ~stole her heart~ and presumably put it on this stick to wave around.

NO. CYNESWITH NO. I’m seriously having déjà vu of all the times I was like ‘NO. JOJO NO’, jfc.

Shajar is unsurprisingly exhibiting no interest in socializing with anyone around her, instead she’s trying every activity this terribly lit place has to offer, and she looks demented while doing it:

I’m feeling a primal urge to photoshop Darth Vader’s melted helmet on the bowling ball here, someone please remind me to do it for the heir vote photoshoot.

-HA. SUCK IT DENISE JACQUET

That’s Denise Jacquet?! I can’t tell who anyone is for shit anymore. The default replacements are a scourge upon premade brands, I’m getting rid of them pronto. Speaking of scourges, where the hell is your sister?

-Who cares?

I wanna say ‘me’ but we both know that’s a lie.

Oh ok, THERE SHE IS.

-So you see Cyneswith, just because something is technically ‘illegal’, doesn’t mean it’s morally wrong-

Yea yea fascinating stuff, now get out of the hot tub or I will fucking neuter you, I don’t know if a eunuch mod already exists for medieval games but I will make one if it doesn’t.

Here, Cyneswith, drink some water, have a nice G-rated convo with your sister about violins and stop pissing me off. 

-First of all this is straight vodka.

Great.

-Secondly Shajar is talking about Mozart’s coprophilia.

-I sure am.

Amazing. Well, I guess it’s at times like these when you need to look inside your heart and truly ask yourself, what did you expect from Jojo’s children.

ABHIJEET ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME DID YOU EVEN HEAR ME TALK ABOUT CASTRATION

-Ha, I went home and put on my most elderly-looking formal wear!

-I hate to see you go but I love to watch you leave Ab <3

CYNESWITH SHUT UP. I can’t believe you people are actually making me miss Gunther’s teenage whoring, at least he kept it age appropriate.

-Is some random lady pressing her breasts against my head?

She most certainly is, Shajar, because it is now crystal clear that this bowling alley doubles as the site of annual perv townie convention and we walked right into it-

-and it’s also clear we have serious issues and are enjoying ourselves. Shaj I legit don’t know what to tell you, this is the first time you get along with someone right away and it just had to be the adult with the bad haircut and the flasher’s trench coat???

-You’re damn right it did.

Alright then, I’m officially going to nope out of this situation, safe in the knowledge you’re a noogiesexual and nothing will actually happen with this freak, so I’ll focus on Cyneswith instead who is much more of a loose canon. 

Here Cyn, talk to this guy, who I’m 90% sure is the same guy your father rejected in favor of stalking Stephen Tinker when he was your age.

-Ohhhh, he’s dreamy!

Omg really?? Halleluj-

-oh never mind, you were of course referring to adult ass Brandon Lillard. I do like that our townies have recurring roles each generation, we should make rejecting Blondie a rite of passage in this family. We should also officially gtfo because this is happening:

-Um, now that I’m looking at you in harsher lighting, it’s gonna be a no from me dawg. 

Oh, thank the fucking lord.

-Let’s celebrate the fact we didn’t get hopelessly obsessed with any adults here by doing the traditional Dance of Normality!

-We beat Dad’s genes, we beat Dad’s genes!

-We’re normal!

Yes, and we’re definitely showing it. Can we please leave now so I can make sure I’ve uninstalled Inteenminator and turn off free will? 

-Nop! Venue change!

-Got-out-of-the-car celebratory noogie!

-Made-it-to-the-door celebratory noogie!

Shajar you unironically have a noogie addiction, I’m not kidding in the slightest, you need to see a doctor.

Great, great, not another teen in sight and to top it off Denise followed us here to ensure maximum elder presence. I feel comfortable officially declaring this day a complete waste of time.

God, the vintage pink dress and the pink alcohol combo is some straight up current era Taylor Swift nonsense. That’s it, we’re outta here, back home where no one is lurking, waiting to strike at us-

-SOPHIE NOOOOOOOOOOOO💔💔💔💔💔

-The Lord is my shepherd.

NO HE ISN’T EVERYONE KNOWS YOU CAN’T HERD CATS PLEASE DON’T DIE

-Nop, I’m over it. Goodbye heathens, it’s been nice, hope you don’t find your paradise. 

UGH SOPHIE, my beloved Westboro lunatic, the last gangsta generation 1 cat we had.. I can’t believe you’re gone and all I’m left with is stupid Goro and D’vorah who can’t even beat up the fucking dog. This is truly painful.

Yes, pets, I agree, Kaylynn is completely to blame for Sophie dying of old age. The time has now come to decide on a cat heir-

-and since Goro ran away like a little bitch after Sophie’s death despite the fact he didn’t even like her, he’s automatically disqualified and will be going off to live on Melody and Daniel’s farm once returned to us. Congratulations to D’vorah I guess, on being the least terrible of two terrible options. 

On the topic of terrible heir options, Cyn has non-stop wants to go on dates and have her first kiss and all that crap, and since our Sunday morning clubbing was a bust we invite over the matchmaker.

-Hello there young Union, I see your house has been upgraded since I was last here.

Oh right we haven’t required your services since Daniel was a teen and we lived in a trailer, well we are flush with cash now!

-Hopefully your payment reflects that.

It will!! Just please give us someone good, I can’t deal with single teen Cyn for one more second.

-Oh my, what a beautiful BLANK PIECE OF PAPER.

WHAT!? NO THAT’S 5K IT’S JUST A SNOW GLITCH 

-What do I look like to you, a money thawing service?

Does such a service.. exist??

-It does not, so I have to go home and use a hairdryer on this!

Just come inside and we’ll give you non-frozen money!

-No, no, you’ll get what you paid for..

-Have a magical time!

...

.........

......................

Lakshmi this was so fucking evil that I almost want to age you down and see if you and Shajar hit it off. 

-As if, the whole neighborhood knows what you did to Komei.

Helped him achieve his insane 6-pets-career LTW?

-Turned him into a servant while your sim was lounging around all day!

Oh yea I did do that. But Wyatt was also a townie and he does literally nothing, Jojo is the servant now!

-Only because Wyatt is too fucking stupid to do things! Word has gotten out, no townie will ever marry in this family again unless they’re brain dead, so it’s Wyatts only for you from now on, sister!

Well this has been a complete fucking disaster. It was great seeing you again, Lakshmi, thanks for the dream date with the adult farting machine, 5k well-spent.

Pretty sure it was you bro, and yes, how about we don’t do that again.

Wyatt has brought over Amanda from work! (Aka Victoria’s only friend and subsequent lesbian lover, who is really pretty and is definitely getting married in at some point, preferably after the brown hair genes have been weakened so we can go back to being gingers.)  

-Wow Shajar, your grandmother, God rest her soul, mentioned you were her favorite and now I can see why! Loving the Kylo Ren look!

-Is someone being genuinely nice to me?! What is happening?

-Yes, please stop being nice to her, Amanda, we don’t want her getting used to it.

Jojo istg.

-Cyneswith dear, tell Amanda all about how much money your grandmother left you so she can stop being nice to Shajar. 

-Soooo much money, Miss Amanda!

-Ah, what a polite child I’ve single-handedly raised.

-Now, Cyneswith, you really need to get back on the dating scene so you have ample time to find the perfect spouse and continue our line, since you’re clearly the only one of my children that is remotely heir material. 

-Dad, Shajar and Wulf are right next to you.

-Oh they are? I’m wearing my special contact lenses that make those disappointments invisible to me, but even better, they need to hear this. Shajar is a noogiesexual and thus incapable of reproduction, and Wulf is not even a Union, I mean have you seen that kid? Wyatt reproduced by himself like the amoeba he is. Now, your grandmother-

-YOU MENTIONED ME 3 TIMES AND HERE I AM

OH FUCK VICTORIA, deleting the default replacements gave you base game hair!!!!

-That’s the part you’re scared by, not my Beetlejuicesque entrance?

There’s literally nothing scarier than your ghost sporting this haircut for all eternity, I’m re-downloading that default immediately. 

-Oh mom, so good to see you! Let me just hug my beloved child, Shijer-

-Shajar, dad.

-SHAJAR, let me hug Shajar, like I do all the time. 

-I’m glad to see you’re not picking favorites among your children like I did, the way I treated David-

-Daniel, mom.

-DANIEL, is the one thing I’ve truly been regretting in the afterlife. That and not skinning Marisa Bendett alive when I had the chance. 

-Well, as you can see by Shajar’s totally normal and not at all shocked reaction to my hug, I am a wonderful, fair, and emotionally available father. 

(Bruh this freaked me out so much when it happened, I mean I KNOW it’s an animation glitch but I was convinced my sims had become sentient for a good while after)

-Is your grandmother’s ghost still on the premises?

-Yup. 

-When will this nightmare end, paying attention to you is the worst. 

-Ok she’s gone.

-FINALLY. Now it’s back to the crypt for you, and don’t you dare go complain to her urn!

-Ah, Stephen, Stephen, my life is crap and I can’t even🎵

And with the knowledge you have composed a theme song for Stephen Tinker, part 1 of the Union comeback update is concluded. Will Shajar’s sexual orientation reveal itself? Will Cyneswith find true love? Will Jojo become a werewolf? Will Wulf continue to be the only dignified member of this family? Will D’vorah have kittens? Will Wyatt do literally anything worth mentioning? Tune in for parts 2 & 3 to find out, unfollow button on the upper right corner for those who need it. 

[hadrianblackwaters]

I Should Have Read That (Tag)

Rules:

Thank the person who tagged you and link back to their post

Link to the creator’s blog in your post

Answer the questions below

Tag 10 others to take part

ENJOY THE TAG!

A book that a certain friend is always telling you to read:

My friend @revimakk has strongly recommended Maurice to me, and I am actually reading it! It just. takes. so. long. to get anything done! Looking forward to watching the film with you when I’m done, though ;) 

A book that’s been on your TBR forever and yet you still haven’t picked it up:

Obviously there are the classics, like Anna Karenina by Leo Tolstoj (I have actually read a little bit of this, but I need to start from the beginning again) and Babettes Gjestebud by Karen Blixen, but I think a more fun answer is a books I actually really look forward to reading: The Lies of Locke Lamora by Scott Lynch. I’m scared of starting it because I think I’ll love it, but the series hasn’t been completed yet! 

A book in a series you’ve started, but haven’t finished yet:

I read The Book of Three by Lloyd Alexander last year and loved it. It’s the first book in The Chronicles of Prydain, and I can’t wait to read the next! Did anyone watch The Black Cauldron? It’s so creepy and unsettling and GOOD! The Horned King and his undead army rising from the cauldron haunted my dreams!! But the books is in a lot of ways better because the female characters are actually cool and do stuff! What a concept!! Also Gurgi in the movie: cute, kinda annoying for the characters but funny for the viewers, I would die for him. Gurgi in the book: oh god what is that send an exorcist!

A classic you’ve always liked the sound of, but never actually read:

Twenty Thousand Leagues Under the Sea by Jules Verne. I lovelovelove deep sea stuff, be it books, movies, documentaries, general science, spooky stories, I eat it up. What is down there? Who knows, but it’s probably super cool and kinda dangerous! I love all the weird illustrations of the book, but I read Around the World in Eighty Days last year and ... there was a lot of sexism and racism (as I’m sure must be expected of a book written so long ago by a white man), and it really soured the story for me and I ended up not enjoying it at all. I’m sure a lot of people think you must be able to detach yourself from those feelings when reading classics, but it’s my time, and I don’t want to spend it on books I don’t enjoy just for classics points. I already have so many fcking books on my TBR!!!

A popular book that it seems everyone but you has read:

Hmm, depends on if I count ‘everyone’ as my circle of friends or the general online book community. If I look at my friends it’s definitely Interview with the Vampire by Anne Rice agdshgdfsjf! I’m halfway through, but it’s a heavy read for me (please, I’m nothing but a humble geologist, I can barely read anything that doesn’t have the word ‘feldspar’ in it, all these old timey romantic words and sentence structures are killing me!), and I’ve been halfway through it for about a year now... oops! For the general online book community I think it would be Throne of Glass. I wanted to read it when I first got into reading again, but after many misses I’ve finally given up on YA fantasy. If I read another American book about horny super teens in love triangles I will actually burst into flames. 

A book that inspired a film/TV adaptation that you really love, but you just haven’t read it yet:

Good Omens! Yes, Good Omens has claimed yet another soul, send help! (Also The Exorcist by William Peter Blatty. I don’t care about the movie, and I know it’s based on the book, so I’m not super invested in reading it, but the tv series is soooo good!!!)

A book you see all over Instagram/Tumblr but haven’t picked up yet:

Hmm.. I don’t really use Instagram, and I don’t see a lot of book content on Tumblr. It might not be what’s hyped the most elsewhere, but probably Call Down the Hawk by Maggie Stiefvater. I think I’ll get to it at some point, because Ronan was my favourite of the main squad in The Raven Cycle series, but I HAVE to stop buying books. Someone help me. I need intervention. Help me budget. My family is starving. :(

Thanks to the lovely @zahroreadsthings for the tag! <3 I would highly recommend her blog, she knows what’s up when it comes to books!! Her post is here !

I tag @rumandyarn @khazadqueer @khaaaaaaaaaan @panzertorte @pastmydancingdays​ @revimakk​ and @darthmaulnut but no pressure! If you feel like doing it I would love to read your answers!

And I also tag anyone else who wants to do this! Esp if we’re mutuals, I was probably too shy to tag you! And if we’re not mutuals say hello!

[amandajoyce118]

Aquaman Easter Eggs And Comic Book References

I’ve seen Aquaman a few times over the last couple of weeks, and I finally got around to sitting down and typing up my list of Easter eggs. It’s unlikely I caught everything, but you know, it’s always fun to try.

There are spoilers in the list for the movie since plenty of the plot points where Easter eggs occur are major moments in the movie. By this point, you know the drill. I kept mainly to comic book references, but there’s the odd pop culture one in here as well.

Obviously, there are other pop culture references as well. Everything from The Karate Kid to Pinocchio seems to get a shout out. The more general pop culture knowledge isn’t going to be here. I also didn’t list every single character who comes from the comics unless I thought there was something specific about their appearance that deserved a nod.

DC Logo

Because Warner Brothers produces all of the DC Comic movies, the DC logo appears following the Warner Brothers one, usually. This time around, the logo doesn’t just flash in its cute CGI glory. Instead, it appears as though it’s underwater.

The Opening Sounds

In addition to the DC Logo being submerged, there’s also the sound of a sonar ping and a humming that you wouldn’t really notice as anything important. Turns out, it matches the sounds made by the trident at the end of the movie. (I only noticed this on a second viewing.)

Jules Verne

Arthur’s narration that opens the movie gives a nod to genre writer Jules Verne as he quotes the author. The hidden sea also provides a nod to Verne’s classic Journey To The Center of the Earth (though it is also a comic book locale from a recent story where Mera and Arthur discovered Atlanna was alive and leading an island full of exiled Atlantean descendants).

Amnesty Bay

This is the comic book location where Arthur Curry makes his home on land. The whole Tom Curry as his dad, owning the lighthouse, etc, is out of one of the newer comic book origin stories. The difference is that in the comics, when Arthur is an adult, his father is dead. It’s nice that the movie kept Tom alive. (In modern comics, as in, last year, Mera even lives in Amnesty Bay while she’s recovering from injuries.)

1985

I don’t know why this year in particular struck me, but I thought Atlanna ending up in Amnesty Bay that year had to be significant. After all, Jason Momoa was born in 1979, so it’s probably not a result of trying to get his age lined up with Aquaman. Here are a few things that happened in 1985: Gal Gadot (Wonder Woman) was born and the Crisis on Infinite Earths event debuted. The latter seems more likely of an Easter egg nod, but we may never know.

The TV Show

The show playing on Tom Curry’s television when he brings Atlanna back to the lighthouse? That would be Stingray, a show that used puppets as underwater heroes. The group had their own submarine and a princess from an underwater kingdom. The show originally aired in the 60s, the same decade the Aquaman comic book series was originally published.

Dunwich Horror

The book under the snowglobe on the coffee table is by H.P. Lovecraft. It’s a collection of short stories, one of which is the title story. In it, a son is born of two different species, much like Arthur.

Atlanna’s Crafty

She’s got a box on the table at the lighthouse, yes? You’ll notice that its design is very similar to the motherbox. Perhaps she spent a great deal of time guarding it. That might be why we get Mera saying (in Justice League) that Arthur needed to retrieve it, since Atlanna would have been responsible for it. As a bonus, we also get Mera mentioning the events of Justice League to Arthur later in the movie.

Manta

Black Manta is (perhaps obviously) a comic book villain. His origin gets a bit of a tweak here, and I like the joke for just why ends up with the giant helmet. (And the nod to Jaws there with “I”m gonna need a bigger…” you get it.) What’s great is that before he actually declares himself Black Manta is all the nods to his ocean inspiration. You’ve got the experimental craft that’s shaped like a manta ray, you’ve got the engraved manta on the knife, and you’ve got his family backstory as well. (Fun fact: Michael Beech, who plays his dad, was originally cast to voice Black Manta for an animated series, but rights issues meant the name of the character had to be changed.)

Lifting The Sub

That shot of Aquaman lifting the submarine is straight out of the comics. A lot of the big money shots in the movie are, like Aquaman holding the trident in front of his face when he activates its power. The team did a good job at nailing the comic book aesthetic.

Languages

Probably not an Easter egg, but I find it interesting that Aquaman appears to pick up on other languages pretty well, just like the Amazons. It feels like a nod to the fact that Atlanteans and Amazons have been around for centuries and have lived hidden from humans, but have still learned a thing or two about them.

GBS

The news station that pops up is the Galaxy Broadcasting System. It’s part of Galaxy Communications, part of a multimedia company from the comics. It’s kind of like Supergirl’s CatCo.

Dr. Stephen Shin

Okay, I know he kind of seems ridiculous and cartoonish in the movie compared to a lot of the other characters, but… he’s pretty on par with the comic book character. The character actually knows Aquaman in the comics. Arthur even comes to him for help once in a while, but Shin ends up disgraced because of his involvement with Aquaman, and Arthur won’t even let him prove that some of his research is accurate. So, yeah, I could see him going the supervillain route.

Annabelle

When Mera and Arthur pay a visit to Vulko, there’s a doll on the ocean floor outside the sunken ship (BTW, is that a sunken galleon, as in the name bar Arthur and his dad frequent?). It looks just like Annabelle. It makes sense that we’d see some horror nods since that’s James Wan’s wheelhouse.

Nereus

Mera’s father is a comic book character, just like every main character in the movie, but his comic book backstory is very different than what you see in the movie. For one thing, he wasn’t her father. Instead, Nereus was a military general for the Xebel people. He was also Mera’s betrothed before she left Xebel behind on a mission to kill the King of Atlantis (yeah, her comic book backstory is a little different too). It’s an interesting twist on his character, though Nereus is very jealous of Atlantis and pushes for war a time or two, so he’s not that far off.

Atlantean “Tribes”

Some of the different groups of Atlanteans are rooted in the comics. Mera and Nereus lead the Xebels, for example. In the comics, Xebel is an extradimensional pocket for Atlantean separatists were sent long ago. It was basically a prison, but the people evolved and adapted. The royals learned magic that allowed them to control water, hence Mera’s abilities. Those in the Trench? They were a species of sea animals that lived in a literal trench in the comics that were dying out. Mera and Arthur ended up trapping them to prevent them from trying to eat humans.

Ocean Master

The name Orm spouts as the leader of all of the Atlantean tribes is Ocean Master. That term is also his supervillain name in the comics. It’s a cute way to change it up for the DCEU.

Man of Steel Reference

Okay, I frequently forget that Man of Steel technically started this cinematic universe, but when Orm takes Arthur to task for the way the surface world poisons the oceans, we get a nod to it to remind us. One of the images used is a collapsing oil platform. It’s the same one that fans theorized Aquaman saved Superman from by sending whales in to help him during Man of Steel.

Octopus On Drums

In the 1960s, back when Aquaman first got his solo series, he had a slew of sidekicks, both animal and Atlantean. One was an Octopus named Topo. I like to think this Octopus was a nod to Topo, but also, a nod to The Little Mermaid, because, come on. We all notice Mera’s fondness for ship wrecks, her red hair, and her not staying underwater like everyone wants her to, right?

Leigh Wannell

This guy appears in a cameo role as the cargo plane pilot. He’s a close friend of director James Wan. Like Wan, he’s a big horror guy. In fact, he’s an actor, director, writer, and producer for the Saw and Insidious franchises.

Africa

The sequence that sees Mera and Arthur rising from the water with the Africa remic playing in the background? That’s intentionally shot as an homage to the Fast and Furious franchise, according to James Wan. I mean, sure. I guess if you got to play in that world, and one of your stars became a DC superhero, and then you got to direct a DC movie, why wouldn’t you want to come full circle there?

The True King

Arthur becomes the True King when he gets the trident and comes back to battle Orm for the throne. Before that though, he has to find the trident with the help of the “true king” in Italy. That turns out to be Romulus. It’s a nice parallel since Romulus becomes the first true king of Rome when he defeats his brother Remus.

Murk

Played by (Power Rangers Black Ranger) Ludi Lin, Murk is one of Orm’s inner circle, and high ranking in the guard in the movie. In the comics, he’s also high ranking in security when Arthur is King. He looks a little different in the comics. He looks more like a big gladiator than Ludi Lin. He also has a harpoon for one of his arms. When he fights Mera in Italy though, she gets one very deep slash to his arm, so maybe we’ll see that come to fruition in the future.

Khal Drogo’s Kelp

The scene where Arthur wakes up on a boat after his fight in Italy? His injuries are wrapped with kelp in a very specific way. Game of Thrones fans will see that as a nice nod to Khal Drogo, the role that really put him on the genre map.

The Trident And King Atlan

There’s a whole thing in the comics with the “Dead King” coming back and trying to get control of his kingdom, wanting to use the world. There’s also his scepter in the comics, which does a lot of what his trident does in the movie. Atlan’s clothing, and the ceremonial armor Arthur ends up in, are also a nod to Aquaman’s gear in the comics.

The Karathen

The comics label this sea monster as the Karaqan, but it sounded like it was pronounced differently by the actors, so choose your spelling. The sea monster looks exactly like it does in the comics. The effects guys did a great job. More than that though, they gave it a better story. In the comics, the animal went a little crazy and Arthur ended up having to kill it because he couldn’t communicate with it. I prefer the movie version where he’s the only one who can communicate with it. Bonus: the giant sea monster is voiced by the classic Julie Andrews. She actually didn’t cameo in Mary Poppins Returns (which opened in theaters the same month!) because she chose to do this voice role instead.

Aquaman Rides A Seahorse

The Superfriends TV series had a lot of silly moments for Aquaman. One of those things was him riding a seahorse into the thick of battle. It’s one of the things that has made a lot of people make fun of the character over the years, but now, it’s also iconic. The movie gets to put its own (much more badass) spin on that idea as Arthur grabs a seahorse to meet his brother in the climactic battle.

Coast City

This DC comics locale gets a nod in the post credits scene. It’s one of the locations where Dr. Shin has a newspaper clipping from. Coast City is home to Hal Jordan and Carol Ferris of the Green Lantern comics.

That’s all I’ve got for this one! Let me know if you guys spotted anymore!