#they might gradually influence each other but idk.

[57sfinest]

something that’s been on my mind a lot also is like. the potential for conflict between kim and harry because of harry’s can-opening. 

kim is obviously deeply repressed and while that’s not necessarily a good thing, and he’s not necessarily happy about being that way, it’s also not up to harry to decide that he needs to be exposed. harry can be good for kim in this context if and only if it’s kim making the decision to open up. it can be good for kim if kim is like “there is no way i can ever be as openly fucked up and embarrassing as this guy. he is a freak and a disaster on a level i could never aspire to. so i guess it’s fine if we’re friends. he can know me a little bit.” then it’s great and they foil each other well and their relationship can be healthy and fulfilling for them both!

but there’s also a version of their relationship that starts out okay but goes down in flames because harry just can’t help himself. he either can’t or won’t stop the prying and kim has no inclination to let harry in. there’s a harry that will push kim’s buttons and provoke him and say or do awful things just to see how kim reacts. there is a kim that has no tolerance for harry’s behavior, no desire to play along, and not enough patience to give him more than one or two chances. and kim wouldn’t be wrong for that! kim has no obligation to give harry chances and no obligation to be vulnerable just because harry wants to know he smoked weed back in his 20s (which is a small complaint of mine. as funny as that dialogue is, i kind of wish that even passing that check didn’t actually give you a secret. kim deserves to be able to say no and doing so is way more consistent with his character.)

yes, sometimes kim NEEDS that little bit of pressure from harry so he has an excuse to do something he wants to do anyway, but that’s exactly it: it’s something he *already wants to do*. like the jackets or the dancing or the cryptid talk. harry’s blundering lack of reservations is an excuse for kim to loosen up on his own- it absolves kim of ultimate responsibility, protecting him, and that allows him to *do* things, freeing him. done this way, the dynamic can be healthy and mutually beneficial. but it’s also good to acknowledge the ways in which harry can try to expose kim in harmful ways that drive them apart.

[matan4il]

Idk if you're watching Lone Star but I am LIVID and if you've seen it I'm sure you have very eloquent thoughts??

about the (SPOILER AHEAD)

Nazi bar thing with Owen

Hi lovely! How are you? I’m giving you BIG hugs and I hope you’re taking care of yourself, my darling! *cuddles*

So I tend to binge watch shows. I know, 911 OG is a glaring exception for me (in part so I can write weekly meta posts for everyone interested), but binge watching at the end of a season is what I’ve been doing with LS. For you, however, I went and watched 401.

Well. Yeah, I can’t say that I’m feeling too great about it. As you know, I was already critical of 911 LS’ Jewish representation with TK (and his mom, Gwyn). To me, doing a storyline like this is touching on REALLY sensitive matters, and before you can do that, you should “earn” some credit. Based on seasons 1 through 3, LS has not yet earned that “credit” by showing us it is fully committed to handling these issues with the required care and sensitivity.

On the other hand, I’m also not livid. So, let me try and share my thoughts, in the form of bullet-points to give each one its space, and I hope they can explain where I’m at right now when it comes to this storyline:

First off, it always troubles me when people refer to ‘Nazis’ past 1945. After that point, it is only correct to refer to ex-Nazis or to neo-Nazis. Let me try to explain why this distinction matters. The Nazis might have started as an extremist ideological fringe group, but they rose to be a political party with considerable influence in Germany (responsible for the murder of several individuals and the corruption of German justice even before they came into power). Once they became the ruling party, which then led Germany and used all its resources to launch a world war, occupying as well as collaborating with countless countries, that increased its strength tenfold. They had power the likes of which today’s neo-Nazis never had (and hopefully never will), and they used that power to commit an actual genocide against the Jewish people, as well as persecute and murder members of many other groups. We mustn’t dilute these heinous crimes by conflating the Nazis with today’s neo-Nazis, who are still just a pitiful extremist ideological fringe group (again, hopefully they’ll never rise to be more than that. That’s on us to prevent). And we must also not absolve the neo-Nazis of what it means, that they CHOOSE to follow the ideology which was responsible for those crimes against humanity. Today’s neo-Nazis can’t claim ignorance about the meaning of this ideology, not when its history is so well recorded. The fact that 911 LS is referring to these guys as ‘Nazis’ rather than ‘neo-Nazis’ is already a bit troubling to me.

Another thing is the humorous reveal. TBH, I’m not bothered by the fact that Owen rode with these guys for a week without realizing they’re neo-Nazis. It does ring true to the way such groups indoctrinate new members, which is indeed gradual. If anything, it’s the sudden and complete reveal that they’re neo-Nazis which rings false. They would not have sprung that out of nowhere on a potential new recruit. It’s done this way to bring humor into the situation, which is 911 LS’ way of telling stories, but this is just too serious of a matter, which means once again the credit to use humor here has to be earned IMO. First show us that you’re not taking this lightly, that you are integrating this storyline because you actually care about things like the current rise in antisemitism in the US, and only then do you get to inject humor into it. The fact that this was not a throwaway joke, the fact that they will develop it into a whole storyline where they might yet show us that they are taking this seriously, is the main reason why I’m not livid right now. But it doesn’t mean that this is okay, it just means that I’m reserving judgment until we get the whole storyline and have a better, fuller idea of how they’re treating it.

One of the reasons why I’m giving 911 LS credit that it might still do this storyline justice is because I know that Rob Lowe is married to a Jewish woman, and their kids are, in terms of ancestry, half-Jewish (and in terms of Halacha, the Jewish law, they’re Jewish. Period). One of those kids actually works (I’m assuming he’s on board for s4 as he was for seasons 1 - 3) as a scriptwriter for 911 LS. Even just based on Rob’s involvement as a producer for the show, and assuming he cares about this issue as a man who’s married to a Jewish woman and raising Jewish kids, I’m willing to assume the intention was good. It doesn’t necessarily mean they’ll do this subject justice, but I am willing to believe they brought it up because it is something that does bother them.

Speaking of doing this right, Owen is actually not a likely candidate for this neo-Nazi group. I’m not saying it’s impossible, there are always exceptions, but such groups usually prey on people who are young and disenfranchised, feeling cast out and unwanted by their own societies. Young people who are likely to be patriotic towards their country, but angry towards its chosen government, which they blame for their own failures. Owen is older, less likely to be easily malleable to their ideology, he’s successful in his profession, and while as a firefighter he can be assumed to be patriotic, they have no indication that he harbors any animosity towards the American government. If 911 LS was gonna tell this story, it has no way of really doing this one right, ‘coz none of the 126 members is a likely candidate for a neo-Nazi gang. Which makes sense, that’s the cast diversity they were proud of and even integrated into the actual plot in s1, right? I can only once again assume that they took on this storyline because it matters to them, and in spite of not having the right cast to tell the story as it usually unfolds. They can still “fix” that if in the following eps they’ll have someone (like maybe the FBI agent we saw) address the fact that Owen doesn’t fit the usual profile.

Which brings me back to what I said earlier, that to a great degree I feel like my final judgment of this storyline, whether it’ll make me just slightly uncomfortable or downright angry, is something I’ll only be able to properly address once I’ve seen the whole storyline play out.

I hope this helps? I’m here for you either way, you can always talk to me about whatever upsets you, regarding this storyline or anything else. Sending you so much love, hon! xoxox

(more of my posts about Jewish rep can be found here, and my other ask replies here. xoxox)

[deescade]

Wanna share with you this :3

#1 Screenshot: Barbara what did you do- 💀 why and how bad is your interruption that Aether and I just swore to never talked to each other I-

#2 Screenshit: NOOOOOOO BENNEEETTTTTTTTTT 😭😭😭 WHY DID ME THERE THINK IT'S A GOOD IDEA TO CONFESS????????? NOOOOOOO BENNETT NOOOOO 😭😭😭

A little scenario I thought of is Bennett was overwhelmed and frustrated with his luck and how it also affects his team. He wanted someone to talk to or even just listen to him and that's when we came into the picture. He told us his life story, venting his frustrations, feelings, and thoughts. Putting it bluntly, he's being vulnerable to you and he trusts you. You thought it was a good idea to confess to him because it might remind him that you're here and that there's someone who loves him. Sadly, Bennett doesn't think or feel the same way. Rather he misinterpret your intentions and he doesn't like that you're confessing to him at his most vulnerable state which makes the atmosphere between the two of you tense and suffocating. He most likely apologized and asked that he needs to clear off his mind and left you behind. And from there, he met Xinyan. Xinyan happened to pass by when you confessed to him and saw what happened, opting to help him out after seeing how troubled he looks. They talked for a bit and Bennet came to a decision. He went back to you and asked for a proposal to give him some time along while apologizing and telling you it's not a good idea to confess to him this way. The way I see it, Bennet felt awkward with you and tries to put you both on the line of friendship. He doesn't want to hurt you more after rejecting your feelings but you were way affected by his rejection than he thought, no matter how lightly he put it and it ended up having an invisible wall between the two of you. Bennett tries his best to be friends with you even after all that but it's really hard if you keep on avoiding him. He decided to give you some time on your own and gradually the two of you became strangers again, having an unspoken deal to never speak to each other again.

[I don't really know much about Bennett but it feels out of character for me to have him give up and forget about a friend especially one who had feelings for him so I had a very hard time thinking and settled for this. On the Xinyan "interrupting part" I don't know much about her either (╥﹏╥) so I also settled for that. It was also getting way too llong for my liking so on to the next one!]

#3 Screenshot: Xiangling 💀 also Modern AU ✨✨✨ the homie and bestie + kind of chaotic vibes with the sleeping [ESPECIALLY THE SLEEPING cause I wasn't expecting that 💀] and watching movies is the one and way too accurate for me odjejdjdj also Jean interrupting makes me think that I had a job to do but I decided not to do it and Kaeya encouraging us to hang out instead is ✨✨✨

Cool, we got some more!!🤩

Maybe it was your lack of response PLUS allowing Barbara to interrupt that made the ending so serious? Gosh, Idk I can't see Aether being so upset over something like that tho 😔 maybe there was some history between you two, with him pining over you but you never reciprocated his feelings, so when it comes to this confession and you say nothing, he decides to just leave you alone 😭 sorry for the angst, I like the drama tho haha

OH CRAP NOT ANOTHER ANGSTY SCENARIO 😭😭💔 oof that bennett scenario hurt, ouch 😔 I think your take on bennett made sense to me tho? The consistent awkwardness sounds right but OUCH

Oh Thank God that the next one is lighthearted 😤 Haha, you and Xiangling totally sound like besties 😆 that situation makes so much sense tho?! kaeya is probably with you guys when you watch a movie haha, such a bad influence

N E WAYZ thanks so much for sending these in, friend!! They were so fun to read and ponder about!! Send some more whenever!! 🥰❤

[mihrunnisasultans]

Süleyman is such a piece of shit, so hypocritical towards everyone! He is so judgmental of others yet treats people who truly love him horribly. And bad people around him stay and get rewarded for being worst. You are right, how can Rüstem be forgiven all the time, while Ibrahim was treated so awfully? Bullshit

Ah idk whether it’s the same Anon or two, but will just answer (and add some stuff on topic) jointly.

Yep and it’s clear foreshadowing that Ibrahim will be the one to come for him at his deathbed (how some souls will find way to each other only at the end of their lif!).

The quote was from Victory of Mohács and Great Expeditions documentary,I love it so much because it discusses not only the military issues, but also how  Mohács was such a big moment in MC Suleiman’s character arc. They all praise Meral’s writing here and I have to agree, it was truly so well done. Dark side to victory that is very conducive to Suleiman’s gradual descent into arrogance, God complex and paranoia. 

Of course he already started the show with trauma that gets revealed gradually in flashbacks later and he always displayed faults, especially concerning extreme insensitivity towards certain people in less privileged positions that him, particularly Mahidevran, but not only: he could go on how love is so beautiful because Hürrem wants to be Muslim for him in front of Ibrahim, who as convert wants to literally combust while hearing Suleiman talk about such matters so lightly, especially since he suspects that Hurrem most likely asked for conversion because she’s become aware that if she wants to truly achieve anything there (and we know it’s true, she’s not even aware she’s in love with Suly yet and still keeps her cross), she must be Muslim.. It just strikes a cord with him already (not that he blames her, but Suleiman’s... attitude).  Suleiman also always blames Mahidevran for hurting and disappointing him, even when she’s upset following a miscarriage -“Don’t be sad and don’t make me sad”. Then when Hürrem mentions to him before he sets out for war that as a result of it many people will lose their families and she’s also scared she would lose Suleiman because she has only him in the world (like.. get a hint why she’s all alone), he simply delivers her a talk how war is progress and civilisation survives by fighting 🤡 . Bah, he even says to little Mustafa that his mum miscarried because he didn’t want to have a sibling (this is why Mustafa later feels guilty and prays to God to have his sibling back, so mum does not cry…). Ironically, he can display some sensitivity when others act without it, e.g. when child!Mustafa refers to Ibrahim as subject/servant, only to do so himself when Ibrahim is out of sight some time later (and older Mustafa never displayed such attitude!). He’s a hypocrite and very prone to lecturing people without noticing similar problems in himself. It’s fascinating how his biggest victory and feel of “God-like power” when so many lost his lives and other achievements influence him in this way.. Here he does have actual achievements as a ruler that might blind both him and others around him, unlike Mu rat who derives his God complex and narcissism simply from his “birthright” (which gains importance in era that put less focus on individual Sultan instead of dynasty,  nd him being God, with depositions and even regicides by common people happening, him and others stressing their birthright is their desperation to performatively turn the clock back).

Obviously Suleiman could not comprehend Ibrahim’s identity crisis and all his friend was going through that affected his behaviour. He was there to give him more and more prerogatives, wealth and power, but ignored Ibrahim’s concerns when the latter expressed his doubts that in this way Suleiman might make him closer to death. 

I don’t even know whether he’s a bad judge of character… he later is obsessed with himself, so he does not want anyone to outshine him. This is why he settles for opportunists - none of them has any vision of their own, they just want to get most personal gain and know the best way is to ass kiss the “God” and always be in his good graces. Since Padişah’s position was very strong back then, they would have most likely not even considered crossing it. And this is what at the end of the day Suleiman began to choose. Rüstem never opposed the Padisah, but yet betrayed practically everyone else and always prioritized his own games and gain over Empire’s welfare, like when he encouraged Suleiman to fight Persia, only to cover up his and Hürrem’s schemes and later to further strike against Mustafa. The moment when Suleiman decided against marching towards Rome and instead go on expedition against Persia in S4 is very symbolic because it shows that his initial plans for his reign which he had devised together with Ibrahim got abandoned once and for all, in clear counter parallel to the scene when he declares it’s not Shah Ismail who is his enemy, but Western European kings at very beginning of S1. And his hypocrisy is further exposed when he laughs at Christians fighting each other over religious divisions, but then instead of using it for his own purposes he goes to fight Persia to establish himself as the ultimate Caliph of Islam and made them turn from heresy aka Shia Islam. Again, what Meral says - he says one thing, then does the opposite.

I think it’s one of lesser known facts about also historical Suleiman - while he could grant religious tolerance to Christians or Jews, he could be very cruel in persecuting people whom he saw as Muslim “heretics”.

“In its effort to impose an officially-sanctioned form of Islam, the Ottoman establishment allowed domestic dissenters no quarter,” writes Caroline Finkel in Osman’s Dream: the History of Ottoman Empire.

And an interesting quote on the topic from same book because it mentions Ibrahim: 

Listening to the preliminary interrogation of Kabiz from behind a grille in the imperial council chamber, Sultan Süleyman remonstrated with İbrahim Pasha for having brought a heretic into his presence. Kabiz refused to renounce his beliefs, and after further interrogation he was executed.

Even when we look at Iskender Celebi - we might say he had “vision” - to remove converts from holding highest offices of the Ottoman Empire… but what he did was constantly to cause disruption by the use of his “disciples” and Muslim brotherhood and then he even sabotaged Ottoman army in war against Persia, all  to remove Ibrahim. Ibrahim, on the other hand, does take his duties very seriously and does all in his might to act in the best interests of the state, even though he is a convert and one that displays strong attachment to Western culture. Even him getting a table for their palace shocked his mother-in-;aw and we all know the neverending problems and scandal caused by the sculptures he placed in his garden. Even such preferences made him being suspected of being a fake convert and facing a whole ass trial, followed by Hürrem & Rüstem aka converts as well trying to continue to stir the issue by further spreading rumours about his lack of love for Islam. It’s truly hard not to symphatise with him there, seeing him so rejected despite having done a lot for the Ottoman Empire (and again it’s painful how he landed in forest with no grave after such achievements smh). Iskender was most likely simply jealous of his power, so Hürrem and Rüstem did not bug him there, since they weren’t at the peak of their power yet, unlike Ibrahim.

Among Grand Viziers, only Kara Ahmed and Ibrahim paid with death on the show and in the first case there was at least serious office proven and documented (yet still others complicit, including Sokollu, did not suffer any consequences)... with Ibrahim it was mostly paranoia, and with Mustafa being older did actually Ibrahim have so much to gain to even consider going against Suleiman?

Ibrahim stepped into father figure to adult prince because Suleiman stopped being a father to him once Mustafa grew up and even himself announced to him: “as you grow up we both lose our innocence”. Yet even an adult needs to have a father and some advice provided, so it was natural Ibrahim continued to be that to Mustafa and even to defend him to his father if necessary. The fact that for Suleiman this is a vice and reason to become paranoid fuck is just… deeply, deeply sad. He later similarly (though thankfully not with death) punishes Matrakci for trying to defend Mustafa and Bayezid with accusing him of “taking the princes’ side”. Those are your sons and neither of them is intending to rebel or plots against you ffs. In this way, he becomes deeply alienated and surrounded by a bunch of opportunist hyenas in the end because all people who saw more than personal gain due to certain bonds or vision got removed or like Bali Bey decided to leave the court, knowing very well what is to come (Bali Bey knew very well that his being neutral would not be enough for Hürrem and she will take care to have only people in palace who clearly serve her & it was confirmed by her and Rüsty ass poisoning Barbarossa, also another father figure for Mustafa).

As Mustafa stressed: “He never betrayed my father, his only crime was to love me and allow me to spread my wings”. It was in fact what Ibrahim paid for in the end.

How Suleiman later selects his viziers and other statesmen is reflected after Barbarossa’s death - he’s no longer the one who recruited an independent pirate as his admiral. Turgut Reis explains to Suleiman his plans for further sea expansion of the Ottoman Empire as a man with long experience in the field, but Suleiman selects Sokollu, a talented statesman, but with no knowledge of sea matters at all, only because he assures Suleiman that he will “follow only his plans and path”. Later it gets even funnier when a man with no experience in state matters at all aka Rüstem’s brother gets the position.

As a result, Suleiman’s younger sons truly did not have good male role models. We saw Suleiman rarely spending time with Selim and Bayezid, unless he needed to scold Bayezid of course. Another scene with bow and arrow, parallel to the Mustafa one from S2, shows the dynamics perfectly - Selim provokes Bayezid, Bayezid attacks him, and Suleiman puts all blame on Bayezid and then on Hürrem (”How do you bring up my sons?”). He completely forgets he’s their parent too. Or when Bayezid runs away and he decides to punish him by executing his teacher and other members of household A+++ parenting.

Suleiman even spared Lütfi after all he’s done to women with his oppressive laws. Yes, it was because Sah asked him for it for her daughter’s sake, but Suleiman knew from Hatice she and Ibrahim solved their issues and were happiest ever… yet her feelings were disregarded. And poor Mihrimah had to free herself from Rüstem herself lol.

He literally deserved nobody. They all loved him too much and were too loyal to his ass.

Even Bayezid once he is an awful situation stuck with his sons in Persia refuses Tahmasp’s offer, which at that moment was his only realistic option for survival. He does not intend to be like Mustafa and he did rebel… but yet he cannot just finish it and with his father being alive any action against Selim is pretty pointless when his Dad is alive, unless he eliminates Murad too.

Yet he just cannot bring himself to do it or consider it. Tahmasp pretty much does not sugar coat by reminding him of Cem’s fate and how he was poisoned even while hiding at the Pope’s. The allusion is clear, even despite Tahmasp’s clear “I’m not a pervert Pope” (lol) stance. Bayezid has had no illusions about his father for a long time already after the issue with the Pseudo-Mustafa rebellion when during supper wiith Suleiman he was so scared he was just looking for executioners all the time because he expected them to appear at any moment and was so scared to eat any of the food served. Supper with Daddy Ottoman Style ™.

Bayezid replying to him: “Judging by what you did to Mustafa and Ibrahim one could expect everything from you” is absolutely on point. [You invited your best friend to sleep at your place only to send executioners to him at night, inviting your son to supper to poison him totally sounds like what you might do, Suly!] Even Selim in the final episode does not want to even hear from Sokollu that he might prepare for Suly dying soon and since he’s the only Suleiman’s son living, of course the succession is absolutely clear and it is natural to begin to think about his future reign.

Suleiman’s another big problem is that later he does not have anyone with authority to feel strong to call him out on his bullshit - back when Hafsa was alive and noticed any of his “darkness” emerging she was able to tell him the truth without sugar coating - after she called him out on his treatment of Mustafa and how Suleiman begins to resemble his father, he later does acknowledge she was right. No wonder he called his mother “his conscience”. She was literally the only person there allowed to provide him with critical advice. Later everyone is scared because each misplaced word can cause trouble if not for them, then for their closest. Fatma finally says what has been bubbling inside her for so long once she has nothing to lose and even says to her brother he might execute her like others if he wishes so and she’s keen on leaving Topkapi forever anyway. Suleiman also later refers to Cihangir as his “conscience”, but there’s a marked difference in how he treated this concept in Hafsa’s case and his disabled son’s - with Hafsa he actually listened to her and tried to understand, she was an active agent shaping his conscience, while with Cihangir he never truly listened to what he was saying and Suleyman’s “Cihangir was my conscience and he died” following Mustafa’s death shows now a different perspective to someone being “your conscience” - a passive, one being more a reflection of one state’s of soul, instead of a factor shaping it. This attitude towards Cihangir in fact smacks of objectification.

He also uses this attitude to try to avoid accountability - because people feel more free to express anger at other people involved, not the Master of Lord and Death. And he can be very sly in doing so, for example  after Batlle of Konya he maintains fetva against Bayezid and says he wants him dead or alive, he does not care in which condition of these, and then orders Selim to go and fetch his brother. Dude we see what you are doing here! Finally Gülfem, who has been the most patient and kindest soul around, loses this patience and tells him everything - Sülmbül and Fehrad Agha later remark it’s something the walls of the palace scream about, but everybody is afraid to say out loud here - “Even a leaf cannot fall down from tree without your approval.. All the misfortunes that fell upon our heads were your doing. For what? For the throne you cannot even sit on anymore!”

Mihrimah herself is very blind in this aspect at beginning of ep. 139 condemning only Selim and Nurbanu, while continuing to admire her father. Selim is right to also remind her of what happened to Mustafa when she calls him brother killer because… honestly. We might understand her trying to push Nurbanu’s buttons by giving Murad a concubine that they say is from her own noble family, but some other of Mihrimah’s actions are...just further perpetuating the toxicity and discord in family, aka what caused Bayezid’s demise. She uses her nephew to turn him against his own father, makes him ass kiss Suleiman, so that Suleiman punishes Selim by favouring Murad… please it’s the same thing over and over again. She still enables Suleiman’s favoritism, being not held accountable, and tries to create father-son conflict. Even her saying how she “imbued Safiye with all her hatred for Nurbanu” (and she still worships her mum unconditionally)..just what are you trying to achieve with this other than getting more people involved in the neverending drama? Same with her imposing on Murad to be like “Uncle Bayezid” and “other uncles” when the dude was initially uncomfortable with this because he was the one who shot Bayezid to save his father during the Battle of Konya.

It’s a blessing Mahidevran, who endured similar fate yet chose not to pursue revenge and leave “matters to God”, steps in. She tells Mihrimah bluntly: “There was one person responsible for misfortunes that happend to us all. Your father, Sultan Suleiman. Didn’t we all live the life he chose for us?”. While in front of Mahi, Mihrimah maintains her stance but, later she does decide to leave Topkapi and also leave matters to God and their [Selim and Nurbanu’s] children instead of actively pursuing vengeance.

As for Suleiman, he continues to talk beautifully in words that do not reflect reality and what he truly does, talking of friendship, love that are more important than volatile power etc. Even in his final monologue we see this discrepancy - he talks about going to God with no crown throne, how love and friendship are most important, while the visuals show something completely opposite - a huge ass crown and throne. This is sadly what he chose in the end to prioritise, despite trying to pose himself as merciful and just until the end of his days.

[jjba-arni-reblog]

Rain

[Weather needs more love and I have some free time for once]

Basically prompt ‘Kiss in the rain’ + Weather

Prompts chosen by my dear friend @giogio-gucci-gangstar

Dedicating this work to @giogio-gucci-gangstar , @wes-bluemarine-hoe (idk if they are active or interested but my appreciation of Weather is greatly influenced by them)

---

“I guess we are stuck here” you said, looking at the rain as you two stood near a store, under an awning. It seemed like everyone was lucky to have ran away and be successful in finding a good hiding place since the street felt rather empty.

You were having a date when suddenly a rain started to pour, making you two quickly hide under the nearest possible cover. Thankfully, you had already went to all the pre-planned places, instead now waiting for the rain to stop in order to return home.

Weather, for once, was dressed in a somewhat casual manner, wearing a nice coat on top of his regular ‘costume’. He was still not quite used to ‘dressing up’ but he seemed to have been gradually warming up to the idea of trying different clothes. That coat was his favourite and seeing him in something different was a welcoming sight.

“Can’t you like…change the weather?” you asked, unsure why he hasn’t done anything. Maybe his stand had limitations you didn’t know about.

“In some cases, rapid changes might be harmful, so I’d rather not interrupt the natural flow��� Weather explained, looking at the sky.

“Oh, I suppose that is a wise decision” you were a bit surprised by his reasoning but not question further. After all, he knew more about his stand powers “I guess we will just wait here for a bit” you fully turned to Weather, now standing next to him. After a bit of silence, he decided to speak.

“Did you enjoy today? Our date I mean…” Wes asked, a bit self-conscious as the man was always worried about making sure that everything went okay and you two enjoyed your time together. He never failed.

“Of course I did. I loved it” you answered, stepping closer to him “did you?”

“Yes” Weather said, smiling a little at your positive answer. He then continued, a bit uncertain if not shy “I almost don’t want this to end” he explained “maybe we should meet more” he then smiled cheekily.

“We live together, Wes” you chuckled, wrapping your arms around his torso, hugging him closer and squeezing a little. He rolled his eyes uncharacteristically at your answer, but still hugged you back.

“Still, I like this” Weather half-whispered, looking down at you with a smile “going out, seeing new things, I like doing these things with you” he continued, noticing your widening gaze at his small confession. You feel him inch closer, lowering his head to be on your level.

“I feel the same” you whispered, as he lips neared yours, his eyes closing.

You felt his lips glide over yours, as if teasing to see who will be the first to give in. Not wanting to wait any longer, you pressed your lips against his, sighing at the feeling of his arms wrapping around you in a tight embrace. Weather wanted to be as close as possible, now one of his hand caressing your neck as he bit your lower lip, silently asking for permission. You gave in, wrapping your arms around his strong neck, with one hand running through Weather’s soft hair.

You felt getting lost in Wes’ warm touches and the feeling of his lips as you two kissed under the awning, rain pouring around you with the two of you hidden away from the outside world, immersed in each other’s presence. You felt your lungs asking for air, making you squeeze Weather a little. You two parted, breathing heavily, blush present on both of you. Wes couldn’t help himself put to steal another small kiss then hiding his face in your neck. You could hear a tiny ‘I love you’ coming from him, a small whisper.

“I love you too, Wes, now let me see if the weather is still as bad, it’s getting a little cold” you explained, turning your head to plant a kiss neck, making him jump a little.

After getting out of his warm embrace, you decided to turn to see if there are any bus stops nearby, however, you were met with a rather strange phenomenon before you. Suddenly, rain stopped and grey clouds disappeared, making the sky appear perfectly clear, as if nothing had happened.

Letting out a gasp you quickly turned to the man before you “Weather!” you proclaimed, now realising the situation “‘rather not interrupt the natural flow’ my ass”. He did not meet your eyes, instead letting out a chuckle and looking away, as if a child who has pulled an elaborate prank. Nonetheless, his cheeks appear to be slightly pink.

“I guess the weather is a little wild” he said, still smiling at his own idea. You couldn’t help but to smile at his cute yet coy action. Stepping closer to Weather, you wrapped your arms around his torso, bringing you two closer once again.

“You could have just asked for a kiss” you raised your eyebrow, amused at his elaborative yet cute plan.

“What’s the fun in that? Especially after seeing you shocked face” Weather recalled, returning the hug and looking down at you.

“Well, you succeeded” you said, nudging him a little “Now that you got your kiss, we can go home to warm up” you explained, noticing the small change in the color of Wes’ cheeks at the mention of the kiss “I feel kind of cold after the whole ordeal, maybe you turn on the heat?” you asked sweetly then chuckling at Weather’s shifting gaze.

You stepped out of his embrace, ready to take Weather’s hand to move in the direction of your shared house. Weather quickly took of his jacket, helping you put it on. He couldn’t help himself after looking at your form, smiling at the sight before him. Wes moved closer, placing his hand on your hip to move you closer to him in order to hopefully warm you up. You two started to walk towards your home.

“Well, damn, I can’t control the weather” he suddenly said, making you chuckle a little. Lightly smacking Wes on the chess, you wondered if it was Jolyne’s or Anasui’s influence that made Wes change, as he started to joke a little and be more open to affection.

Deciding not to worry about it for now, you moved a little closer to him, his coat now slowly warming you up together with Weather’s warmth. In your head, you were already choosing a movie to watch once you two arrive back home.

[k7l4d4]

Owl House AU Ideas, ZA SECOND!!

Hello again. A second AU! That was quick. Admittedly, this had been on my back burner, so there’s that. Just to say it now, this isn’t as fleshed out as my first post.

Lackey!: We all know Boscha, right? Annoying, egotistical, bully, award winning jock, you all know the type, even if only through media. What would she be like if she lost it all, and it was all her own fault? 

(Trigger Warning: This AU deals with drug addiction, and is meant to represent how much of a slippery slope the use of drugs can be, especially when lacking an effective intervention or when people aren’t willing to push the issue and get the addict HELP. More than anything, this AU is a representation of how badly drugs can ruin a person’s life because they can’t be bothered to think that there might be consequences. It is not meant to blame people suffering from drug addiction, I am not a victim blamer, it is merely to represent how badly drugs can affect a person’s life, especially when they have a lot to lose and start taking them anyway. Drug addiction can come about due to a variety of sources, and those suffering from it need help above all else.)

This premise is based on a rather simple idea that quickly spiraled in my mind into an AU: what if Boscha had an addiction, and it set off a chain of events? Boscha basically has it all as far as she is concerned, she is popular, she is a top athlete, she has awesome friends (idk if she actually thinks this), and great social media presence; she's basically on top of the world, so why not see what all life has to offer her? She decides to make (and take) a stim (my version of a drug on the Boiling Isles, in the form of a potion; each stim gives you some kind of high, along with other wacky magical effects), and rapidly takes a liking to them. While under the influence of her stims, Boscha is more active, passionate, even friendlier, the only problem? Stims are hard to make, VERY HARD. Her solution? Buy them! As Boscha starts buying stims in bulk, she gradually starts needing more and more to get the same affect, draining her funds even further, and when not on her stims, she was far angrier and aggressive. As Boscha drained her funds to fuel her addiction, she quickly realize that she would need a fast, untraceable source of income to keep fueling it. And it just so happens that there is a rather infamous Wild Witch running a business right there in Bonesburough! After managing to track her down, Boscha basically demands, then threatens, then bargains, and then ultimately begging on hands and knees for Eda to give her a job. At first, Eda doesn't question it, labor is labor, and while she would prefer it to be free, it still means she can bring in higher profits. However, she quickly takes stock of the fact that, in spite of the money she gets from her parents and Eda herself, Boscha never seems to have any on hand which, in addition to her mood swings, tips her off to Boscha's little habit. And, in true closet bleeding heart fashion, Eda decides to have a sit down with Boscha over her habit. Despite the numerous reassurances from the bold triclops, as well as the promises to be careful, Eda realizes that she cannot help the girl until she is ready to admit she needs help, settling (for the moment) with merely keeping an eye on Boscha's behavior. As Boscha dives deeper and deeper into her addiction, she progressively becomes more and more erratic and aggressive in between her fixes, causing others to draw away from her, with even her parents noticing just how much her behavior has changed. This all culminates in a confrontation two weeks before Canon, in which Willow walks in on her about to take a stim. In the ensuing confrontation, Boscha snaps, brutally pummeling Willow into the ground, the one-sided fight, more an assault, spilling over into the halls, leading the whole school to see Boscha beating Willow in a raving, screaming frenzy. When she finally calms down, Boscha is shocked and horrified to see just how badly injured Willow is, with several students and teachers rapidly rushing to get her away from the downed girl and taking her to the Healers. The fight ends up exposing Boscha's stim addiction to the entire school, casting into doubt all of her Grudgby victories. The fallout is so widespread that Boscha is left completely ostracized; no one wants to associate the girl liable to beat you nearly to death at the drop of a hat and (allegedly) cheated her way to numerous victories after all. Her parents are so embarrassed by her behavior, they essentially disown her, only associating so far as to ensure she has enough money to keep going to Hexside and live in a crappy apartment with food and hygiene, and only at the bare minimum level. At first, Boscha attempts to act in her usual fashion, and tries to complain to Amity about it all. It, understandably, doesn't go well. Seeing Willow beaten so horribly leaves Amity furious, and while she manages to maintain her general demeanor, she delivers a brutal verbal smack-down to the now outcast witch. Something along these lines: "You, you really expect me to help you, don't you? That has to be the most laughable thing I have ever heard. Let's review the facts as to why that will NEVER happen: you've been taking drugs, damaging your body potentially irreparably in the long run and throwing all your so-called "Grudgby Greatness" in to question and embarrassing Hexside for who knows how many generations. You brutalized a fellow witch, never mind that it's "Half-A-Witch Willow," and in doing so alienated every potential ally you could've had in the long run here at Hexside. And most importantly, you embarrassed your family name; how do your parents feel, knowing they raised an out of control Giraffe-spawn? And yes, that's what people have been calling you lately, just in case you haven't figured it out. All that and you really think I'd be willing to help you!? (Breathes in deeply, and exhales) You are pathetic Boscha. You are arrogant, aggressive, and have singlehandedly destroyed all credibility your family has with the school, if not the entire town, because you couldn't control yourself. (Gives a bitter grin) At least now my parents will no longer see a reason to have me associate with someone as UTTERLY WORTHLESS as you." After all is said and done, Boscha falls into a bitter depression, starts cutting classes, and devotes more and more of her time into being Eda's Lackey. Eda, while justifiably furious for what Boscha has done, helps take care of her and putting her back together into a functional Witch, though the events at Hexside have driven a wedge between them.

After 'bout a week, Boscha manages to settle into a rut: help Eda's business, occasionally go to Hexside, go home, go to sleep, repeat as necessary. After Luz arrives, however, she is forced to switch out of her rut. Boscha originally finds Luz annoying, seeing her as a disruption to her daily life, gradually (and grudgingly) building a mild camaraderie with the excitable human. While the two aren't exactly good friends, Luz genuine nature and passion for magic manages to win over Boscha enough that they are comfortable around each other. The revelation of what she had done, however, drives a wedge between them. Luz is torn between disappointment that her new friend was a bully, and empathy over her struggle as a recovering addict.

As always, feel free to ask questions, comment, or use the idea how you see fit. For those out there struggling with addiction, or know someone who is, don’t be afraid to reach out and get help; your life and safety are more important than your pride, and there is nothing to be ashamed of in looking after your health and happiness.

[riceccakes]

Earth, Wind, and Coffee: Chapter Two Analysis

chapter one analysis

welcome back to another installment !! idk if many people are reading this, but i enjoy analyzing my writing so i’m gonna keep doing it :) let’s get started, shall we?

some fun stuff before we start!

the first scene i wrote for this story was the dock scene

usually, when i write, i kind of just start with whatever is the first thing that comes to mind. i’d had the bulk of the story outline in my head, not written yet, but i knew i wanted this reveal about the red lotus attack. so i started with it and wrote as far as i could before deciding i should start the beginning of the fic. most of the original content is there, with some stuff added on, but i took a turn from my dialogue as it didn’t fit the narrative of the story anymore (well get to this point in a later chapter analysis, don’t worry)

not me being heavily inspired by LOVE WITCH by bisexualyoda

around the time that i started this fic and was really writing for it, i found this story on ao3 and literally read whatever chapters were out at that time in a day. it was a story that also influenced me to write in asami’s pov, as a majority of the story is from hers. (this isn’t the only reason tho, but bisexualyoda is a writing god and what else could i do but try to honor them?) it’s a stellar korrasami fic that you should read if you haven’t yet and if you haven’t yet, what are you doing, please go enjoy that masterpiece

and into the chapter we shall go:

i kinda thought it was cool to play off this idea of a barista who can’t sleep but it’s not because of the coffee like you’d expect. 

now, being a diehard korrasami fan, i knew i wanted to apply this to my girls. and, i knew from the get-go i wanted korrasami to meet as if it were more book four, where korra has gone through something really terrible and asami is a really good friend who’s there for her. so i thought it might be cool to put the two together and korra is a barista who can’t sleep. then it was getting to what exactly the trauma was that korra experienced. i didn’t want anything as severe as what korra went through in the series (our poor girl was wrongfully put through the wringer for four seasons) but i wanted something that would stick with her and still haunt her, even after a period of time. my favorite book is book three and i loved the red lotus antagonists, so i played around with their concept and turned it into what’s in the story. i was really pleased when i came up with this and only made some minor changes (i had originally explicitly given korra insomnia. i decided to change this and keep it more ambiguous because i didn’t want to inaccurately describe insomnia and somehow offend anyone who does experience it, i hate doing that) and then i was set to really start the fic.

more about povs:

so, when i first started writing this fic, the idea of multiple povs was an option. in the end, i chose only asami, for a number of reasons, but mostly for one in particular

just like asami, i wanted you guys to gradually learn about korra’s situation. sure, i could’ve went through korra’s pov and been all secret secret about it, but something about that idea doesn’t sit well with me. i liked the idea of gradual connection and in turn concern. i sprinkled some little stuff here and there, to hint that something’s up, but i feel like that’s the hook for you lil fishies to grasp onto. even in that very dock scene, i don’t give it to you right away; i dance around it, just like korra does by talking about tenzin and the temple and i mention the water and korra’s jacket and anything but the reason why korra’s called asami at 2 in the morning to come see her. this kind of tension, this kind of urgency to know what’s going on, i just don’t think would’ve been achieved had i had alternating povs.

something i really love about this chapter is how the first section and third section ends

Makeshift Boardrooms ends with korra being a complete angel and going above and beyond for asami and this presentation:

Asami is speechless. Inside, the tables and chairs have been set up as if it’s a long boardroom, fit with the donuts in the center of the table no one can ever reach. At the far end, a projector screen is set up and a loading screen is displayed on it. Asami stares at the girl, unsure of how to convey how appreciative she is for the gesture.

“Korra…”

“I know,” she quickly speaks up, her fingers behind her back fidgeting even faster, “it’s a lot, but I thought you should get the best kind of practice! And, we hosted a movie night here a while back, I wasn’t sure if Tenzin left all the equipment here but I found it all in one of the cabinets in his office and I,” she’s looking at the ground now, “is it all right?”

“All right?” Asami questions, truly confused as to how Korra could say such a thing. She reaches out, slowly, gently, placing her hand on Korra. The girl’s hands fall to her sides, Asami’s fingertips slowly linger down from the bundled fabric of Korra’s rolled up sleeve to her forearm.

now, A Turn of Events ends like how we know:

Asami falls back onto the couch, ill prepared for the unexpected burst. Korra continues huffing, gasping for air, clutching at her chest and running a hand through her hair. Asami reaches out again and that’s when Korra flinches again. She starts to sob.

“Korra…”

“Get out!”

Asami sits, staring. She isn’t sure if she heard right or not. Korra begins shaking, sobbing inconsolably. Asami just wants to reach out.

“Get. Out!”

Asami grabs her things and rushes towards the door, taking one final glance behind her shoulder. Korra’s hands cover her face, her body flinches and shakes, her sobs ring loudly in Asami’s ears. 

In between each desperate gasp for air, she can hear Korra whisper, “Please, please, stop, stop, please, stop, please.”

Asami feels her heart sink and she opens the door to leave.

i’ve bolded what i love most. it was actually unintentional, i’d only noticed after i finished the chapter and was reading through to edit, but it’s kind of beautiful, bittersweet even. there are parallels here, some less noticeable than others, but parallels nonetheless. the lingering of korra’s name is direct and the events after are strikingly different but in a way connected. in Makeshift Boardrooms, after the mention of her name, korra is sputtering word after word. in A Turn of Events, after the mention of her name, korra only says two words. it’s two sides of the same coin, showing how korra is unfortunately spiraling out and losing control of what’s going on with her. typing it out is kind of hurting me, seeing how korra’s in pain, but im the author and i know what happens later so i shouldn’t worry too much.

now getting onto asami in this section, still, the lingering of korra’s name is the most noticeable parallel. but, in Makeshift Boardroom, after korra responds, asami reassures the girl with physical touch, she’s able to reach out to her. in A Turn of Events, after korra responds, asami doesn’t react, she doesn’t know how to. korra’s in front of her, clearly in pain, and she just yelled at asami, and still asami just wants to reach out to her. once again, unintentional that this happened, but sometimes it’s the unexpected things that turn out for the best. the diction i have here, in repeating the word reach, i think it just further drives home how heartbreaking this chapter’s turned out to be. (shout out to the section title, cause things really did take a turn here) it had all seemed so good, korra was opening up to asami, they were getting closer, and then all of a sudden BAM korra has a panic attack and in a moment of utter fear, she pushes away asami. i know i put angst in the ao3 tags, but now going over it as the author, i see my angst has really gone above and beyond, but hey, i really liked how this chapter turned out

honorable mentions:

in LOVE WITCH, asami and kuvira are basically besties and i loved the idea of their friendship and i wanted to have a go at it myself! finding kuvira’s place in the story, however, was a lil tough to navigate, but when i came up with the bodyguard idea, i really liked it. i hope you guys do too :))

idk if you guys noticed but outside formal fic/writing settings, i pretty much only type in lowercase. however, i do type in complete sentences and the only abbreviation i really use is idk so don��t mind me lowkey projecting onto korra here. anyways, i know most phones have the default setting for texts to be first word already uppercase. i have mine turned off but figured korra would have hers on cause 1) she prefers it this way and 2) even if she wanted to turn it off, she doesn’t know how to. plus, i liked the idea of her enjoying emoticons better than emojis. i love emojis but i always do a lil sideways smiley ( :) ) and to me it’s super cute and i’m sure korra would see it the same way

the end of this chapter is not what i had first intended! truth be told, i didn’t know what exactly was going to happen at the end of the chapter, but i knew what would happen after it, i just needed a bridge. in my og timeline, i had a couple different options: the one i almost went through with was asami suggesting they move into together (which is admittedly super soon and super fast so like, it would scare off korra), another was something intimate that would still scare korra off (this one wasn’t too elaborated on, perhaps a forehead touch, or super close faces, idk. obviously this doesn’t happen, but it had been in consideration), i’d actually even considered something physical, but that was quickly cut off the list, as that is NOT how i wanted this story to go. anyways, because of how this chapter ended, the whole rest of the story changed and i couldn’t be happier.

anything i would’ve wanted to change?

im still super self conscious about the length but at the same time, also not, idk how to describe it. anyways, i think what i actually would’ve liked is keeping something from the Home Life section i took out. when i first wrote it, asami actually had a desk mate and he was flamboyant and sassy and i loved him. looking back now, i would’ve loved to have kept him and the scene with him, but i took it out cause i was scared the chapter was too long. after reading everyone’s comments though, about how they don’t care how long chapters are/longer chapters are better, i gave myself some more slack with the last chapters. his name was ryuichi, rip ryuichi

surprise epilogue is out now too, so enjoy the rest of the fic! if you have any questions, feel free to ask :)))

[dredreadsdrawing]

Oc-tober day 5: Old

For Day 5’s challenge, I brought back what I believe to be my first trans character haha. This will start as cringe plz bear with me. Im copy pasting the Quickie I had planned for a post in my writing blog.

PunchLine: Quickie Summary

Just suddenly grew nostalgic of this story lol. Notes before delving into the plot:

-        I literally started this story’s concept when I was in 5th – 6th grade and first watched Ouran High School Host Club. My kid brain was mad at Haruhi for not taking advantage of her passing as a boy so I made what started as a self-insert oc that gradually transformed into my first trans character ever. Whack, lol.

-        Just a side thing, most of my damn stories have playlists and I swear, All Time Low/All American Rejects songs are exclusively this story’s official soundtrack.

-        The main character’s name is super…. Wow lol. Please bear with me I might change it, just… this was a story I started making when I was 11 and really liked ‘unique’ names instead of conventional ones >X,,D

-        Please have mercy on my tiny weeb soul.

Lolol ok, plot start naw. Keep in mind I was very influenced by anime at this point of my life so I started this in a stereotypical Japanese setting but made it more Americanized over the years. Big oof.

Protagonist (I called em Echo lol) is a hella poor girl living pretty much by herself in a shitty apartment. Her aunt is her caretaker but she’s never home and she doesn’t work. Echo has to work a job herself to make money for food. She has a quiet personality, long, terrible hair with split ends everywhere, and a boxy frame. She works doing lots of manual labor, adding to her poor health.

Because she’s always been quiet, no one knows who she really is. She’s just ‘that poor girl who never talks’,  and they mostly leave her alone. One particularly shitty night however, after getting fired without her pay, she gets caught by some hotshot popular dude and his cronies with her work uniform on. Kids aren’t supposed to work. He takes a picture and threatens to turn her in if she doesn’t follow him. He’s just looking for some easy fun with a docile girl he can make do anything. She’s done being docile.

In true anime fashion she beats the hell out of these dudes, trash talking them the entire time. She’s merciless, bashing them all black and blue until they pass out. Only once everyone but the main instigator is down does she take his phone. “I have back-ups!” The boy exclaims through broken teeth. She looks at him and posts the image onto his feed herself. She’s done going to school anyways. She destroys the phone, laughing, and he loses consciousness. She gets up and dusts herself off.

She had a spectator. Some dude had watched the whole thing from his fancy car. He thinks he could use someone like her.

The following week goes as expected. She’s expelled. Her aunt came to act as a concerned guardian in front of the school but left immediately after. She took Echo’s savings. Echo is laying in her mattress on the floor, pretty much wishing to be dead when a knock on the door breaks her concentration.

Oh boy. It’s the spectator dude with two other boys (one of em may end up being cut lol). He has a proposition. She join their prestigious team from some fancy school for something (idk I initially had her join a mob lol but these kids are still in highschool. Maybe their fighting club?) and they’ll pay for her tuition and living expenses. But there’s a catch. The team is boys-only and she has to crossdress. She signs up immediately anyways lol. From now on, she will live as a boy (so I will use he/him pronouns).

Hmm… mayhaps the reason Echo has such a ‘unique’ name is because he chose it himself. Like the edgy teen he is. Cries.

Echo packs his stuff and goes with em. He hears the specifics about his new group. Eric is the leader, who’s father founded the group. He clearly puts on an aura of being tough and in control, but his delivery is too forced. The spectator dude that found Echo is his co-leader, a guy who actually knows what he’s doing, but doesn’t want to overthrow Eric because he thinks it’s funny seeing him struggle. He is a dick lol. Depending on whether or not I’ll use him, the third dude is Eric’s best friend from childhood meant to be the soft one who helps Echo settle at first.

Moving on, I don’t have a coherent timeline of events, just scattered things that will happen. For sure, Eric and Echo keep butting heads, mostly because Eric tries to control Echo and the group as a whole too much, and Echo is like ‘dude, your demanding for perfection only makes me want to screw things up more to show you how unhealthy your expectations are. And also cuz youre cute when you’re mad.’

Eric has a legacy to live up to. He’s the classic worrywart trying to live up to an image and failing. Echo was brazen at first with his trying to mess Eric up, but he softens as he realizes how much it effects Eric. They eventually hear eachother out and come to a compromise. That’s the start of their friendship.

Then, a year later, comes Kimmie. She’s Eric’s childhood crush. She’s short, she’s plump, and she has a rude attitude. Eric’s been a simp for her since he was a kid. He tries way too hard to make her see him as a romantic partner; she’s the reason he grew out his hair when he heard her casually mention she likes it long.

What’s his reason for liking her so much? When they were kids, Eric was plump too, but unlike with her, kids would pick on him because he always just took it. She defended him a lot, and her fiery personality mixed with her ability to hit kids and get away with it made her feared. He idolized her ever since.

She reacts to this as well as you’d imagine a childhood crush staying just a crush is handled. Meaning she clearly sets up walls around him and tells him he’s not interested. Echo, however, catches her eye.

After a P.E session, Kimmie follows Echo to his usual changing place and catches him with his top off. Kimmie knew Echo was a ‘girl.’ Kimmie explains she had seen Echo before his transition. Echo laughs it off, finding her brazenness cute. “So what now? You wanna tell the school?” “… I require you for something actually…”

Kimmie is dating Echo now. Eric is devastated. Kimmie flaunts Echo around like a trophy, breaking many girl’s hearts that had previously asked him out. Echo has to follow her around as a part of their deal, but he doesn’t mind it. The more he learns about her, the more he likes her.

Eric tries to confront him about it along with his friends. Eric’s approach is…. Well… “You’re faking this, right? You don’t like girls, you’re not really a boy!” “Dude, I like what I like. Deal with it.” This response further punches Eric in the gut as everyone laughs nervously.

Some big event comes and Echo is Kimmie’s plus one. Eric doesn’t want to attend it so he stays in the mansion. Echo is feeling the guilt of the situation more with each day that passed. At the event, him and Kimmie have a great time, but when they escape the crowd and are alone, she tries for a kiss. Echo doesn’t proceed. Kimmie is disappointed, but Echo explains.

“I know the real reason you wanted to date me. It’s the same reason you touch my chest so much, why you wanted to see me in a dress, and why you told Eric you like long hair. Kimmie, you like girls.” He steps away from her. “And I can’t be your girlfriend in disguise.”

Kimmie is floored. She begins to cry. Echo is right. She’s a lesbian but she never wanted to accept it. She kept telling herself she’d find the right boy, and when Echo came, it felt so perfect. She thought she could just slip in and pretend that she was straight. But she isn’t.

She apologizes. She says, however, that she truly does like Echo now. Echo sighs and rubs their neck. “You can’t like me Kimmie… I’m not…” Kimmie thinks it through. “But… you were a girl before! The only reason you’re dressed like this is because of the contract!” “Yeaaaah… but I kinda like it now. This feels…. Better. More me.” Echo grins with confidence. “I’m a man now.”

Kimmie takes Echo’s figure in and sighs. “Ew. I can’t be date a man.” They laugh and break up, Echo going back home. Kimmie returns to the party and is spotted by one of Eric’s friends. He asks where Echo is and she tells him everything. Echo is going home, him and Kimmie just broke up. The friend tells Kimmie some comforting words before running away to the hall to call Eric and tell him the good news. Kimmie is available again, and he can be more aggressive this time!

Eric is slumped in the couch after binging Netflix and eating a pint of icecream. When he hears the news, his mind is stuck on only one piece of information. Echo is coming back home. Instead of feeling happy about Kimmie being available again, Eric realizes Echo is coming back after a break up. His worrywart tendencies has him picturing a comedically sobbing Echo, ruthlessly broken up with by Kimmie, wondering how he could continue to live without her. He cleans up the couch and by the time Echo enters, he’s saved him a spot on the couch and his own pint of icecream. Echo laughs but sits right beside him, accepting the comfort, even if Eric doesn’t know the full story. They have a nice night together, and by the morning, Kimmie’s sexuality is revealed thanks to a picture she posted in her social media celebrating with a girl she kissed.

She’s officially out and happier for it. Eric congratulates her when they run into eachother in the hallway. She’s surprised he’s not as sad as she expected him to be, but she’s touched by how genuinely kind he’s being to her. They stay friends, and even get closer thanks to Kimmie now putting her walls down again.

Movin on to another story event, Eric’s mom has been away for most of Echo’s stay, but she comes back. Eric has made it clear that Echo should stay away from her, and never let her know his transition. She somehow finds out thanks to some mishaps anyways. When the contract is revealed, she is ASTOUNDED that her boy would force a GIRL to live as a MAN. She’s putting a stop to this! She takes Echo away for a weekend spa treatment, girling Echo up, talking over him through the whole thing, never listening to his complaints and only reassuring herself that Echo is safe now and free to be pretty and feminine once more! It’s the proper way!

Needless to say Echo is uncomfortable.

The more Eric’s mom talks about herself and her own life, it’s clear that her way of thinking stems from some issues she had as a kid, being forced to work and to give up feminine things, but Echo doesn’t feel like she did at all. And though Echo enjoys some of the spa things, and doesn’t much mind being put in a dress, he just… prefers a suit. Would rather stay at home training with the group. Would rather keep his hair short as opposed to the length Eric’s mom proposes him to grow it at. It’s a bunch of little things, but they culminate in solidifying to Echo… he just wants to stay a boy. He’s not being forced to be one. He genuinely likes it.

When they return from their trip, Echo is in a skirt and heels. He is dolled up with professional make up and styled hair. The group ogles him, but as comments get thrown around about how good Echo looks as a girl, Eric can’t feel the same. He just feels it’s too… off. He doesn’t bring it up, he’s afraid he’ll hurt Echo’s feelings. All his mom’s mutterings got to him, and Eric feels guilty for forcing Echo to live as a man. 

During dinner, he reassures his mom and Echo that they can get rid of the contract and Echo can live in their house and attend their school clause free.

Echo stops him right there.

“I don’t want to be a girl. I’m a boy.”

Eric and his mom are confused. They try to reassure Echo, but Echo continues. “No. No offence ma’am, but all weekend, you have talked over me, never listening to what I have to say. I don’t want to be a girl. I am not like you. I do not share your experiences nor your desires. I like being a boy. I like being called a boy. I like dressing like a boy. I want to be known as a boy.”

Echo gets up.

“I’m going to go change now. But before I go, I want to keep the contract. I have no problem with any of the conditions.” Echo looks at Eric and smiles. “I like being a part of the group and competing with you guys.” He’s flustered by his sincerity. Echo leaves. For the rest of the day, Echo is unbothered in his room, but when night comes, Eric goes up to bring him some food.

Echo didn’t really wash off the make up very good (damn that high quality stuff), and his hair is a mess. But he’s in comfortable clothes and he brings in Eric so they can hang. They talk about trivial stuff at first, spend an hour playing a game, and when it’s 3am, Eric gathers the guts to talk about it. That he’s glad Echo stood up for himself, and he sees him as a boy too. Echo bursts into laughter, teasing Eric.

“So that’s what you were so nervous about. I thought you were planning to ask me on a date.” More flustered Eric. “W-Why would I-“ Echo gives him a half hug that stops him, hiding his own blushing face. “Thanks…” Eric hugs him back. It’s yet another sweet moment before they finally get together…. In some other event in the future mwahahaha. Idk, I haven’t decided yet when they confess and actually start going out ;p cries.

Welp, there ya go. This is a story I still cringe at because of how anime it starts but damn these chars got me. I love Echo, Eric and Kimmie ;o; I’m sorry I’m a sucker v-v

[unproduciblesmackdown]

The opposite of your last post for the ask meme! Like 1, 5, 9..

thank you lol sorry it took me a minute to get to posting these answers......i also skipped a couple that got asked previously via answering all primes lol

1: What inspires you?

hm well just basic stuff like “being in a good mood” lol or “being hyped up by friends” or “having reason to be particularly excited about something” which is all like, factors that Contribute Energy......learning about stuff / trying something and discovering like oh i’m Into this thing, or that for whatever reason something turns out to be more within reach / doable than i might’ve thought, like, hey i wanna get on this maybe.......~creatively~ it’s great to like, see other ppl’s art, and while i’ve sure been Inspired by professional artists, overall i’m more like, influenced and motivated by seeing the styles / specific works of Online Randos like me.......i also Draw to create [self-indulgent (usually fairly) niche fanart which is also probably gay and is all the time of characters i like] so like, the Stuff I Wanna Make Fanart Of (which has Whatever characters i specifically would like to draw lol) is sure directly Inspiring in that way. i’d say i never had that experience of like, ppl being kids and seeing some [distributed work in a certain art medium] like oh i want to make my own [distributed work in a certain art medium] as in like, i wanna publish a book, i wanna make movies, etc, but i guess i Did b/c i was like elementary school age in the early-to-mid 00s and experienced some instances of online fanart like :o :o wow damn ppl can do that?? just be a rando drawing fanart and sharing it w/ other people online???? and today i am living that dream, so good for me lol. and also i’d like to shoutout marge simpson anime, which is a particular piece of Online Art (technically fanart even lol) which was like, unusually Motivating as a single work of art lol, i made a notes app fanart like immediately and then a way more “painterly” piece of fanart that was v directly inspired by it lol.......and i was sure Drawing It Up last last winter when bmc 3.0 was impending / happening, b/c i got into like Just in the dec before, so that was Fresh, and then bam the Content is happening concurrently and as soon as we even just learned that jeremy has glasses i immediately spent like honestly 25 consecutive hours making fanart for that exact Inspiration. we didn’t even know abt the hello kitty shoes yet!!! and naturally im not out here for stats or clout but it is Inspiring when ppl enjoy the stuff i make and let me know one way or another. [tag comments that express enthusiasm in any way.....Appreciated]

9: Do you trust people easily, or do people have to earn your trust?

i have to say i am wary! that’s in part just like, a default anxiety defensive mode lol. but it takes me a hot minute (aka weeks....or months.....) to realize when someone like, would like to be friends or something, so while i can be Friendly and Outgoing w/ people like, immediately, i’m not picking up relationships left and right that are close enough that i’d particularly talk about “trust” or whatever. i’m not necessarily Distrustful either lol, it’s more just like, again re: the constant wariness thing. it is not unlike a cat lmao i vibe with them lol i Get that [approach]....and there’s been times i’ve been like “hmm i sure do Not vibe with this person ever and am not comfortable around them / interacting with them to any extent beyond occasional casual interactions that i don’t super enjoy. that’s me being overly anxious and failing to be personable i guess!!” and then that person Does give that reason down the line like oh, actually, that eternal uneasiness was warranted :/ damb

21: How does someone become friends with you?

yknow i was like “didn’t i Also answer this one previously” but it turned out the question i was thinking of, which i Had answered, was “how does someone become important to you” lmao.....same diff

tbh it’s kind of an arduous process lmao like. first of all i am Bad about initiating shit, and a lot of times will like, be wary of Directly Interacting with people for a while b/c i am also Bad At not being too passive / unwilling to assert anything so like, if someone’s regularly interacting with me but i’m not into it / Eventually Realize i’m not into it, it’s that thing again where my main strat is [v gradually sidle away] lol and just find it difficult to extricate myself from interactions / relationships and so that plays into me really feeling like i have to have some real confidence that i’d get on with / vibe with someone Before i start significantly interacting with / getting involved with them which....is also difficult natch lol like. can’t rly get a great feel for what someone’s like w/o talking to them.......but then if i Distance myself at all at any point will that be taken as rejection or whatever.......and then anyways say i Am talking to someone, then it’s like, also i’m just not fantastic at casual conversation always and that stage where you don’t know someone too well and talking is mostly a Polite Ritual and it’s like oh god don’t mess up, respond Normally lmaoo......i am nervous. and i also have a tendency to just naturally try to make an interaction go smoothly than immediately prioritize / feel comfortable busting out My Personality lmao.....so then even if ppl are responding well enough it’s like ah jeez i know we’re all performing always but have i shown them What I’m Actually Like to any significant degree, am i just masking it up / mirroring the crap out of how they talk?? and also it then takes me quite a while to put together “if someone keeps talking to you / choosing to interact with you for like, weeks, it probably means they want to / are interested in doing so” lol.........and then i’ll take ages more of trying to consciously Be More Myself without *also* feeling like this is too much of an act lol, and gradually picking up like oh they’re still not like, annoyed or disinterested or something..............what i am trying to say is it sure takes a minute lol

also when i Am attempting sometimes to like [initiate interaction] with people my version of being Active is still not all that active lmao i will be like [occasional Like] or [even more occasional reply] or [tag comments or no comments coz it’s twitter and im rt-ing stuff] and it’s like oh wow if we’re not having more regular interaction i suppose i’ve failed or something?? does this mean anything further lol, did i do anything.....but welp gotta have that perspective that Not Necessarily lol and i’m not the only person in the world who might not make friends or even friendly acquaintances easily / at the drop of a hat and u can’t necessarily read way into shit that hasn’t Actually been communicated to you.......naturally though it is easier to have some ~perspective~ and Serenity about all this sort of thing when you do already have some Friends lmao........been feeling (and consciously nudging myself towards feeling) More Chill about say like, friendly acquaintances i have who aren’t raring to interact with me on the reg.......ppl i’ll go months or half a year or more between having a convo with and then we’ll be like trading dm’s for a couple days and then it’s back to not really talking, and that Is What It Is, not necessarily a tragedy, and really it feels “rude” to acknowledge to myself like oh i’m not sure that me and whomever even Vibe well enough that *i’d* be raring to talk all the time either, but hey, it’s also true, i don’t have to be Validated by ppl who know me having me in their friend circles in any significant way......i be out here on the peripheral / outer orbits and i can appreciate that for what it is, even if, again, easier to be more Cool with that when i’m not Only in ppl’s periphery...........i appreciate the pal i have who like, 99% of how we Communicate is occasionally sending each other pics of our cats, not very intimate but also back when i was offline for months on end they eventually went out of their way to find someone to get in touch with to verify i hadn’t like died or anything lol........i appreciate the Gestures of Caring that ppl have and do extend, even if we do not actually talk regularly. 

and like also i’m bad at like. idk the main way i talk is again, At Some Length and often about real specific shit lol so im like woop aware that many ppl are not into that, or they might be down for having an exchange like that for a day and then they’re done.........not at all like wholly Against more lol Conversational conversations but i gotta say that’s more of a struggle lmao..........so let’s say befriending me takes some Patience. i kinda operate on [cat] rules. jellicle

25: How do you stop yourself from going back to toxic people?

i absolutely am Refraining from launching off on a ted talk of a tangent that is also me being the [the guy about to throw down a card on the pile on the table and that card pile is like “any conversation” and the guy is labeled “me” and the One Card about to be played is labeled “it’s capitalism” or smthing like that and also it’s all in spanish].jpg.......

anyways idk just try to keep things in perspective, right......i generally am pretty Passive about gradually sidling away from relationships that are bad and so by the time i Have exited them it’s pretty overdue lmao and i get to be quite confident that it was The Right Thing........and just when looking back on stuff it’s like, well if you remember the Good or “Not That Bad(tm)” parts maybe consciously think about the whole of it And specifically the Bad parts / the reasons for peacing out.......also the other day i was mulling over some standard [conflicted / complicated feelings about having cut certain ppl out entirely] and it also occurred to me that a lot of the [conflicted] feeling part came from sympathy for them, whereas from the perspective of Entirely My Own Feelings On The Matter minus that “how do/would they feel about it” consideration, the thought of never interacting w/ these ppl is like. fine with me lol........stuff like this is always Complicated and Individual and there’s certainly no like, one-stop simple Guide To Navigating All This Kind Of Thing, Cmon It’s Easy........another consideration i saw the other day via a graphic on twitter, which is probably most relevant re: say, controlling / abusive Partners, was how like, to think about how someone is acting if they’re saying you should Take Them Back b/c they’ve Changed their behavior, but to pay attention to if they’re trying to guilt you into it / justifying or downplaying their previous behavior / shifting blame and otherwise manifesting the inherently harmful and controlling patterns that are supposed to be gone now........anyways yeah complicated stuff and also just p.s. (and what would’ve been the jumping off point for the It’s-Capitalism tangential essay lol) ppl shouldn’t be blamed if they do choose to let someone back in their life like oh now they’re responsible for bringing their mistreatment upon themself.....no better than blaming someone for, say, having a harmful / controlling romantic partner in the first place like oh well they should’ve known better than to have gotten involved with this person..........ppl are in control of their own abusive behavior and shouldn’t be considered Forces Of Nature no matter how intransigent they are

33: Do you have someone you know you can always rely on?

tbt question 9 lol there’s defo some people that i do trust! love it....

45: Do you consider yourself creative?

another #tbt to question 1 lol.......i mean Yes i am creative in ways but like, who Isn’t, really.......think sometimes “creativity” means “do you like, do Art things” which, yes i do, but then within that there’s art that’s deemed more ~creative~ or w/e......not to mention that i don’t think something has to be definitively labeled an Art to be creative. like, for example, Science and Art aren’t opposites / the antithesis of each other, and anytime defines ~science~ as like, people just memorizing and outputting Facts and Numbers and considers this a distinction from Being An Artist.....wild and i Will fight you lmao. i tell you i can v much remember times i have had to completely disengage to keep from losing my cool at people arguing about “why i respect science but could only be an artist :’|” or “why Art is actually harder than Science and also we’re the underdogs b/c society values science so much more :’|” like.....mf...........anyways scientific pursuits may certainly have a different Methodology (see: scientific method) than art but lbr it still requires creativity and science and art are friends you fucking fools................and then also just zooming in on the Art-Making business here, i also like, have never had any interest in coming up with Original stories / characters and the like, and i don’t enjoy trying and it just really is not my thing, and it’s Funny or something when people wanna say that creative fanworks have value b/c they let ppl cut their teeth for what really matters, inevitably making their own original content(tm)......that isn’t inevitable for me lol and certainly is nothing i aim to do ever, and when there’s the suggestion that if you’re Good enough at ur medium you gotta manifest some of that original the character do not steal shit.........anyways i’m not pressed to claim i am an Artist(tm) or Creative(tm) lol like i guess technically i am both but i have no professional aspirations and my brain does not Do [generate original content] so it’s all like, i’m just out here.........s/o to this time i was trying to do my fuckin thing drawing on a tablet in a cafe and some random annoying guy is trying to talk and i happen to mention like “lol i don’t exactly call myself an artist really” and Guy goes “OH REALLY??? WHAT’S WRONG WITH ARTISTS? WHAT’S YOUR ISSUE WITH ART” like please cool it lmao but god p sure it was a guy who was just. very Around and very annoying in general

49: Do you feel like you’re a good person?

yeah i think i’m alright but really what is the use in like considering there 2 be achievable Good or Bad Person Statuses for everyone........let’s say it’s an ongoing, active state to be in the process of consciously choosing to be Good and working towards Better. especially considering that We Live In A Society which tries to teach everyone and continuously imbues our existence with Bad Messages about how to perceive and engage with other people, and being A Good Person is a lifelong effort and it’s unhelpful to feel that if you’re already Good or well-intentioned enough you can just dust off your hands and be like “well my work here is done” and be unprepared to examine your beliefs/actions or deal with the might-as-well-assume-it’s-an-inevitability that even if u have some noble-ass beliefs you’ll fail to live up to them at some point/s.......so like yeah lol again i feel like i am a pretty good person but can always be better and ought to be aware of / willing to work on that at any point

[comicteaparty]

July 22nd-July 28th, 2020 Reader Favorites Archive

The archive for the Reader Favorites chat that occurred from July 22nd, 2020 to July 28th, 2020.  The chat focused on the following question:

How have your reading tastes for webcomics changed over the years?

carcarchu

i think i used to read exclusively romance webcomics but now i'm really into the historical stuff. also i'm not so into the strictly straightforward stuff anymore, i need a really strong hook or something that makes it different enough to be enjoyable because i'm really tired of reading something that is indistinguishable from other similar webcomics. also i think i've gotten pickier when it comes to the quality of art and writing. there's just so much stuff to pick from now that i want to dedicate my time only to stuff that i really enjoy. i just don't have enough time to read every single webcomic i come across anymore

Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)

in the past I used to read a bunch of comedic absurdist humor comics (I still do) but it's been buffed out by romance . Same vein like Cara said, I'm just picking and choosing which comics I spend my time on but I do want to try to read as much as I can tho!

snuffysam (Super Galaxy Knights)

I feel like I used to read LEGO comics a lot lol... I'm not sure how many of them still hold up. In terms of genre, the only comics I struggle to read are ones that are more realistic, or darker. Historical comics often fall into this, as do most horror comics.(edited)

RebelVampire

For me, my tastes haven't necessarily changed in terms of the what I like. What has changed is what I dislike. As the years have gone by, I've really been more open to at least giving comics a try before deciding they aren't for me, especially in the genres I consistently don't like like comedy. So I've gradually disliked less comics. Not to say I like them either or they're for me, but it's a step up from dislike since now I can appreciate what the comics are trying to do more. I think the bigger change for me was art styles though. While I still do have a specific sort of art preference, I've also been more open to giving certain art styles I don't normally like more of a try as well and I've found the styles I dislike (personally, not objectively in terms of talent) to be a much smaller pool than it was before.

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

Oh man, I'm the opposite. I feel like I've gotten pickier

varethane

I can't tell if I've gotten pickier or if the bar has just gotten high enough now that if I only have the bandwidth to read X number of webcomics (let's say 20 as a random example), and I'll be picking from among those which stand out to me, those 20 comics will be on a totally different level than the 20 I might have found 10 years ago

Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~

I think I've also gotten pickier

The biggest change, I think, is that I've gotten way pickier about storytelling

While I used to be able to read a comic with subpar storytelling. I drop comics in an instant these days if the story doesn't speak to me pretty quickly(edited)

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

I think it's because when I started reading comics, everything was new and novel. Now there're more tropes I recognize? And more problematic things that bother me, when before I would not have noticed

Deo101 [Millennium]

I dont think I've gotten pickier, per se, I think I just have very specific tastes and many things dont fit them which feels picky? but i can enjoy all kinds of genres, I kind of go into something 1: not wanting to think 2: not wanting to be offended and 3: wanting to laugh a bit? which isnt exactly a high bar to pass, but not many things will do that for me, which isnt because I'm a picky person, its jsut cause a lot of things arent made for peope like me?

varethane

I'm not consciously looking for 'only the best quality' by any means-- if there's anything I'm really looking for, it's a sense of passion and uniqueness, that feeling that the author is having a blast with the thing they're doing. But I feel like it's gotten harder to draw my attention (and readers' attention in general) without having a certain level of skill involved

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

Oh, same. As my art gets better so does my eye for it

varethane

....and, yeah, I guess I've also gotten tired of certain tropes. Once I read 2 or 3 webcomics that do kinda the same thing, I'm less likely to pick up a fourth with the same general premise, even if it looks like it's well-made.

(sorry isekai....)

Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~

I just absorb a lot of storytelling in many forms, so if the story doesn't grab me right away, I feel like I'm wasting time reading something, where I could be fulfilling my desire for more worthwhile storytelling elsewhere

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

Oh true, there are so so many comics out there now

Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~

Art quality plays into it a bit for me, but it's honestly primarily the storytelling

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

Everything I read I could be reading 100 others of similar quality Really, why does anyone read my comic at all?

varethane

"good art will get readers to take a first look, good writing is what makes them stay"

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

Art quality is very important to me but I've still read and loved a few stories will amateurish art

varethane

for me personally, the art's just gotta be good enough for me to not be distracted by it while I read

Deo101 [Millennium]

idk I think a lot of people stay through bad writing even if something looks good

also yeah i feel the same, about not wanting to be distracted

"does the art serve the story?" is all I really care about

varethane

art serving the story is the most important part. Art can LOOK amazing, but if the body language or expressions don't fit the story being told, it can make the writing seem worse lol

a friend of mine once referred to it as, like watching a well-written screenplay but with terrible miscast actors

Deo101 [Millennium]

mhm, cause the only words we get are dialogue, the art has to be all the descriptive language. so if theyre not describing well, a lot is missing.

varethane

yeah

Deo101 [Millennium]

or I guess some comics have narration, too

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

Narration can't do ALL of the work

varethane

yeah haha

Deo101 [Millennium]

yeah, one of my professors said that a rule of thumb of his about comics is "if you can read me the words and I know whats going on, it's not good comics."

Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~

The art definitely serves the story (or is supposed to), but if the story is bad from the beginning, I don't care how good the art is.

varethane

I have complicated feelings on that one, because I feel like it's actually pretty rare for me to consider a 'story' bad (at least insofar as we're talking about the core ideas of the plot). Most premises (if they're not actively offensive/poorly thought through), if written out as just a skeletal outline, could work just fine. IMO bad writing is a problem of execution, most of the time, rather than concept. (hedging my language here because there's always exceptions lol)

Deo101 [Millennium]

I would say I agree with you. I think writing and story are different concepts. There is also sort of a macro/micro element to writing, as well, and either one can be messed up

Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~

Yeah, I misspoke, what I mean by "bad story" is more "bad storytelling/writing"

but yes

carcarchu

a friend of mine once referred to it as, like watching a well-written screenplay but with terrible miscast actors

@varethane oh i have read stuff like this. like the art was INCREDIBLE really detailed renders, very consistent and technically fantastic art but so often it just devolved into shot / reverse shot talking heads and the characters didn't really emote beyond changing the position of their eyebrows so it kinda felt like watching dolls interact with each other

RebelVampire

I mulled over the fact I took the opposite route as everyone else. XD For me I think it's three factors. First, I was actually ungodly picky in my youth across the board with everything, not just comics. As such, I've missed out on a lot of things other people love. Second, with each passing year, I've come to appreciate more the work people put into their indie projects. And for me its like a show of respect in a way to acknowledge that hey, you worked on this thing I may not like, but I'll try it because you clearly love what you created (or I hope you love it). Third, and probably the bigger factor, I stuck myself in a positive feedback loop. The more I opened myself up to things and learned to not initially dislike things or be as harsh, the more I ended up finding a gem I really loved. In fact, while this is across diff industries, I'd say this has been the biggest influence for me with webcomics because so many webcomics I was like "Well I'll try it gotta be open and not just dislike it," and then I came away going "Wow this is a diamond in the rough!"

[our-smooty]

Flowerbeds and Fertile Soil: Chapter 5

Fandom: Good Omens

Rating: Explicit

Relationships: Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens, )Anathema Device/Newton Pulsifer

Tags:  Kidfic, Mpreg kind of, they can choose to present however so idk, Crowley Has A Vulva (Good Omens), Crowley Has A Penis (Good Omens), Aziraphale Has A Penis (Good Omens), Aziraphale Has A Vulva (Good Omens), OCs Galor, parenting, using your snake form to avoid confrontation, Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Pregnancy, if I missed a tag lemme know

Summary: They could do anything, go anywhere, all without the worry of Above or Bellow making a fuss. Even so, they mostly kept to their little patch of Eden, their cottage and garden and the simple life they’d carved out among the locals. Aziraphale opened a book shop in town, where he only occasionally sold any books (and the ones he did sell, were all modern and stocked specifically for that purpose). Crowley focused his attentions on the garden, and if he occasionally helped their elderly neighbour with her disobedient willow tree, then that was a secret no one needed to know. Lately, however, they had both been feeling rather restless, unbeknownst to each other. Aziraphale tried reorganizing his store, changing the way he tied his bowtie and even ate pizza –something he considered to be far too messy for him personally. Crowley had branched out into birdwatching, and then car maintenance (the human way), and even reading. Nothing scratched the itch for either of them.

Ao3 Link

My Ko-Fi

3 days later, they finally wore each other out. By the end of the last day Crowley was practically incapable of speaking and Aziraphale was a jittering mass of sensation. They stopped when the mutual shaking of their bodies made it nearly impossible to continue. Shortly thereafter, they both fell asleep after a very half-hearted miracle from the demon to clean things up. Crowley couldn’t have cared less himself but knew the angel would be very uncomfortable and upset when the woke up if they didn’t get clean. It was the least he could do, after innumerable orgasms. 

Crowley’s sleep was deep and dreamless which was rare for him. Even all those times when he napped away months and decades there had been frequent strange--sometimes upsetting--dreams that forced him awake. It was probably one of the reasons those naps lasted so long; it was hard to feel rested if you can’t actually rest. But this time Crowley was out like one of Aziraphale’s Heavenly lights for just two days, practically a catnap, and when he woke he felt hazy, but rejuvenated. 

With a satisfied sigh and a great big stretch, Crowley burrowed under to covers, a stupid smile on his face. He felt fantastic, especially since his sleep had let him skip any muscle soreness. All that was left was the pleasant buzzing of a very satisfied libido. Again he reached down to touch his lower belly, something akin to giddy nervousness. Would he know right away? Or would he have to wait like any old human? It wasn’t like there was a president. 

In the end he didn’t spend too much time luxuriating in their bed. Mostly because he could hear Aziraphale downstairs and the idea of getting some morning snuggles--even if it was nearly noon--appealed to him greatly. The getting up and getting dressed part was only a little tricky; even after three days his legs still felt a little wobbly, but in the end he managed it without using a miracle. Comfy clothes in place Crowley made a quick pit stop in the bathroom to brush his teeth, then meandered down the stairs into the living room where he knew Aziraphale would be curled up with a book and a cuppa. 

“Hello dearest,” Aziraphale greeted, setting his book aside to pat the couch beside him. Crowley folded himself into the space and over the angel’s lap. “Did you have a good rest?”

Crowley nodded making a grabbing gesture for Aziraphale’s cup of tea, which he was passed very without complaint. Contrary to his taste in coffee, Crowley liked his tea very sweet and milky, which luckily lined up with his lover’s tastes exactly. He handed the cup back to Aziraphale and nuzzled further into the angel’s shoulder. “Lunch?”

Aziraphale wiggled happily, setting the tea aside with his book and drawing Crowley in closer. “I heard that the pub in town has been getting very fresh produce this summer and have been using it to make the most delicious tea sandwiches.”

“Sounds good angel, they have that cider too, yeah? The kind with ginger in it?” The sandwiches he could take or leave, and usually he’d give his portion to Aziraphale just to watch him enjoy them. Alcohol though was always something he enjoyed. 

“Yes, but I think we should be avoiding that now, shouldn't we?” Crowley frowned in confusion for a few seconds before he groaned. 

“Aziraphale… We don’t even know if its--If I’m--” He was really going to have to get over this inability to talk about it. 

“Still, it’s good to get into the habit, and I’m sure they have some lovely non-alcoholic drinks we can enjoy.”

“We? S’not like you can’t drink,” he groused, fiddling with the buttons on Aziraphale’s waistcoat, thoroughly prepared to throw himself into an epic sulk. 

Aziraphale made a considering noise. “It wouldn’t be fair though, would it? I don’t think I’d feel right, indulging while you can’t.” That made him feel… something. Grateful maybe? Or embarrassed. Either way it calmed him down enough to avert a really moody disaster. Curse Aziraphale for being so attentive and sweet and not giving Crowley any reason to have a really good brood. 

“Fine. But I’m ordering the most expensive, most complicated drink they have. And I might even send it back,” Crowley grumped. Aziraphale giggled and pressed a kiss to the demon’s sleep-mussed hair, which was entirely too pleasant for the simple gesture it was. It made Crowley want to turn into a snake and curl up in the angel’s lap and forget about going for lunch. 

“I wouldn’t expect anything else, my dear. Shall we get ready to go? I’m sure you don’t want to go out in your loungewear.” It was Crowley’s turn to laugh and plant a kiss on the angel’s cheek with an exasperated eye-roll.

“They’re trackies angel, not loungewear. You’re such an old man.” He still didn’t get off the sofa though. “No idea why I want to have your k-kid, to be honest.”

“Love probably has something to do with it,” Aziraphale teased lightly. Crowley grumbled but didn��t deny anything. Not like he could have, with how badly he was blushing. Damn these human corporations and their vascular systems. 

“Shut up,” he groused, snuggling further into the warmth and softness of his lover’s well-worn jacket. “When do you want to leave?” Crowley knew it was best to let the angel set the pace, lest Aziraphale get himself into a tizzy.

Aziraphale considered briefly before nodding decisively. “I think I’d like to remain here for a little while, if that’s alright. I’m enjoying just sitting here with you.”

“Mmm, fine with me. You’re warm.” His snakey nature shone through in moments like this, and Crowley had the secret suspicion that Aziraphale had been gradually increasing his natural body temperature since they had begun living together to cater to his reptilian side. He couldn’t find the will to complain about it. 

“Splendid. We’ll head out in a little bit.” Aziraphale used the hand not around Crowley’s shoulders to reclaim his tea and they took turns sipping. If the tea lasted longer than it really should have between them, Crowley was willing to let it slide because it gave him more time to cuddle up to his angel. Miraculously, the pub would have a large number of tea sandwiches still ready and fresh when they got there, despite the fact they regularly sold out. 

The next 2 months were a flurry of sex, cuddling, and preparation for Pulcifer-Device child number three. They were eventually forced to stop their near-constant state of being in bed or recovering from being in bed to watch Lottie and Annabella while Anathema and Newt made final preparations--and got as much sleep as possible before--their newest addition. Luckily their South Downs cottage was already equipped with a room specially made for the girls and they were both more than prepared to watch them for at least a week at a time. Though they still paniced occasionally becuause raising the Anti-Christ was one thing, especially since they really hadn’t been raising him so much as influence. Taking care of and watching over two little girls who they were invested in was entirely another. 

In the final week before Anathema was due Aziraphale had offered to have Lottie and Bella stay over at the cottage until the baby arrived. Anathema had readily agreed--probably desperate to get some rest before the big day--and Newt had brought them and all of their supplies over. As far as they knew, this was just another fun trip to spend some time with their uncles, and not a brief respite for their parents. Crowley did not envy Anathema and Newt having to deal with two children under 5 all the time.

“Crowley, why are the girls eating ice cream for breakfast?” Aziraphale asked as he strolled into the kitchen on the second day. Both Annabella and Charlotte had heaping servings of chocolate ice cream in front of them, and on them, and on the table. It was an impressive mess. Crowley glanced up from where he’d been scrolling through his phone and shrugged. 

“They asked for it. Figured after the tummy aches set in they’ll never ask again, or this’ll be one of those “fantastic childhood memories” humans like so much.” Aziraphale tutted and snapped, changing the bowls of ice cream to whole wheat pancakes and fruit. Lottie sighed dramatically but didn’t complain too much because the angel had made sure to stack her plate high with strawberries, which were her favourite. Bella on the other hand was only three and did not appreciate her sugary feast being replaced. Crowley saw the subtle chin wobble and furrowing of her tiny brow and immediately glared at Aziraphale. 

“Big mistake angel,” he drawled just as she took in a  deep breath. Aziraphale gave him a confused look before the situation seemed to strike him all at once. It was too late though, because in the next second she let out an ear-piercing screech that could have rivalled Beezlebub on a bad day. “At least the ice cream was keeping them quiet.”

“You can't give children pure sugar for breakfast, Crowley! It’s not good for them and I would expect you to know better!” Aziraphale near-shouted, wringing his hands this way and that as he hovered around his youngest god-daughter. Lottie was still calmly eating her strawberries and making a mess out the pancakes by squishing them up and pushing them off the plate. It was a far cry from the peace Crowley had created with the ice cream.

“You think I didn’t miracle away most of the sugar and other gunk before giving it to them? I’m not an amateur Aziraphale.” Crowley rolled his eyes and stood, procuring a can of whipped cream from thin air and dolloping a fair-sized amount on each girl's portion. Almost immediately Bella began to quiet, but Crowley wasn’t finished. “Use your words, Bella. What do you say to Uncle Aziraphale and your sister?”

She squirmed and pouted before relenting. “Sorry for yelling.”

“Good, now finish your breakfast and then we can go to the park yeah?” She nodded happily and began to dig into her food. “And Charlotte for Somebody's sake stop making a mess and just eat your food. You aren’t a baby and you don’t need to mush it up, do you?”

Aziraphale watched with wide eyes as Crowley completely diffuse the situation he had created. The demon could feel his nervous, unsure energy from across the room. He vanished the whipped cream--because he knew his god-daughters well enough not to trust them around it without close supervision--and gave the angel a pat on the shoulder. “S’not good to spring stuff on them like that angel. Besides, it’s gonna be confusing enough for them when the baby shows up, might as well let them have some fun.”

“I didn’t think--I’m sorry dear.” Aziraphale physically deflated. “I’m rubbish with children, aren’t I?”

Crowley sighed and pulled Aziraphale into his side, not trapping him in a hug just in case Bella’s screaming earlier had been too overwhelming. “You just need some practise angel. We can work on it.”

“No more sugary stuff for breakfast though, alright dear? Even if you do make it healthier, I don’t want them going back homing and demanding sweets.” Crowley supposed that was fair, though he might still sneak the girls a little something when Aziraphale wasn’t looking. It was only right, especially with how busy Anathema and Newt would be with the new baby over the next few months. 

“Sure. Are you coming to the park with us?” Crowley asked, nuzzling into Aziraphale’s jawline and taking in a big whiff of that familiar sunlight and book glue smell. Normally Crowley could do this for hours, basking in the fact that he was allowed to do something as absurd as sniff his angel now, but this time there was something wrong. Aziraphale smelled off and bad and Crowley jerked back, automatically throwing a hand over his mouth while sprinting to the sink. 

“Crowley?” Aziraphale asked, voice dripping with concern. “Crowley, what’s wrong?”

At the table, Charlotte and Annabella looked up from their breakfasts with wide eyes. “Uncle Azi is Uncle Crowley alrigh--ahh!” Bella screamed as Crowley heaved over the kitchen sink and threw up the coffee he’d had for breakfast. And then the remnants of the chips he’d stolen from Aziraphale’s plate the night before. And then, when there was nothing left, he kept retching and retching until he could taste the bitter-poison taste of bile coat his tongue.

“Crowley!” Aziraphale said again, rushing over and holding back the demon’s hair to prevent any more sick getting stuck in it. “Oh goodness, what happened? Are you ill; can demons even get sick? Tell me what to do!”

“Ngk--shhhh” Crowley hissed, spitting the last of the sick in his mouth out into the sink and gagging at the smell. “M’fine, need water.” Immediately there was a glass of ice cold water being thrust into his hand and fluttering hands combing through his hair. The water helped with the bad taste and with the strange, unexpected nausea, but I didn't do anything for the sudden dizziness he felt. “Think I’m… I’m gonna pass out..”

The edges of his vision began to fade out as his ears began to ring. Faintly he could hear Bella and Lottie’s upset little voices talking over Aziraphale’s equally panicked one, followed by a firm grip keeping him mostly upright and the shattering of glass. Angel’s could be strong, when they needed to be. Crowley sagged into Aziraphale’s arms bonelessly and completely out of it. He wasn’t sure if seconds or minutes had passed but eventually things began to calm down and right themselves. His vision came back--when everything had gone fully black and reddish he wasn’t sure--and he could distinctly hear the sound of Aziraphale asking Lottie to get him Crowley’s cell phone from the table. It sounded like the angel was about to call someone, but who? 999 wasn’t exactly equipped to deal with occult beings passing out in their kitchens. 

“Zzzzira?” he slurred, wondering when they had gotten on the floor. “Wha’happened?”

“I’m not sure dear,” Aziraphale’s voice was shaking, clearly terrified. “You were throwing up and then you just… you just fainted. How are you feeling now?”

It was still difficult to string thoughts together, but Crowley knew he needed to for Aziraphale and the girls. “Hot, kinda sick. You smelled… wrong. Who’re you calling?”

“I-I’m not sure. I thought maybe one of our friends, Madame Tracy is a bit of a Jack of All Trades, she might know what to do…”

“Absolutely not. She’ll bring Shadwell and I don’t think I can deal with him right now,” he groaned, wiggling into a sitting position. “I’m already feeling better angel, I’m OK.”

“Uncle Crowley?” a tiny voice to his left called out. Both girls stood back a few feet, clutching at each other and looking entirely too worried. If Crowley thought worrying Aziraphale was bad, he was entirely unprepared for the way those scared faces made him feel. 

“Come’ere,” he said, opening his arms so they could each bury themselves in one of his shoulders. Aziraphale leaned in too, wrapping his arms around Crowley’s waist and pulling him close to his chest. “I’m alright, sorry I scared you.”

“You threw up and passed out Crowley, I wouldn’t call that alright in any sense of the word,” Aziraphale murmured into his hair. “Can you tell me what happened, at least?”

Crowley thought for a bit, idly twisting and playing with the girls’ hair. “I was OK and then I smelled you and it made me feel sick, and then I was on the floor,” he explained, starting a more complicated braid in Lottie’s hair. “You didn’t smell any different than normal but it was just… not good.”

Behind him Aziraphale hummed. “I still think we should call someone.” Crowley grunted and refused to respond, hoping that if he didn’t acknowledge it that Aziraphale would drop the idea. Besides, he felt fine now, maybe a little weak, but in general ok. In front of him Bella squirmed out of his grip, wrinkling her nose at the smell from the sink. 

“It’s like mummy,” she said, pinching her nose. Both Crowley and Aziraphale’s head snapped towards her. 

“What do you mean, sweety?” 

Bella made a face and stuck her tongue out in disgust. “Mummy got sick, when the baby was starting to grow in her tummy.” Suddenly, everything clicked into place and Crowley’s stomach dropped and fluttered at the same time. Aziraphale went inhumanly still at his back; no breathing, no heartbeat.

“Morning sickness…” Crowley wheezed, the plait he was working on slipping from his fingers. “Makes sense, the sensitivity to smells, the sick, the dizziness.”

“Does it?” Aziraphale squeaked. Crowley laughed a little, surprised at how out-of-depth the angel sounded. 

“Didn’t you watch over Eve in the Garden?”

“Yes but--!” Aziraphale blustered. “I didn’t ask about those things Crowley, that would have been rude!”

“Oh of course,” Crowley intoned. The only reason he didn’t roll his eyes was because he was worried it might make him dizzy again. “Wouldn’t want to ask anything inappropriate.”

“Quite.” They fell silent again outside of Bella’s continued complaints about the smell. “Wait does this mean you’re--?”

“Yup,” Crowley answered his voice wobbling up and down in a distinctly freaked-out way. “Also, I need you to get a bucket, cause I’m pretty sure I’m about to get sick everywhere again in about 10 seconds.”

[mifhortunach]

some Unfortunate vague vambling into the void wrt tpf

The book is a grail quest, about ppl - either knowingly or unknowingly - on grail quests, and (with/presuming the small amount that can Ever be discerned about SL) written during/around a time when a grail quest was essentially occurring/could-would be a comfort narrative. Its a surprise (to me at least) that its, as Hopeful(?) as it is*. growth occurs! people move on & move past traumas/big Events(tm)! 

I had wanted to compare it to ‘Inside Llewyn Davis’ for some reason**, but its honestly not especially similar. If one was to take ILD as a starting point, as people/LD trapped in a cycle by the v nature of Who They Are, TPF kinda jumps from that point, or some a point of hitting a level of Rock Bottom and Acting/. For some of the characters its been a more gradual shift into decisive action, (Tracy, ARY Lewis), while w others its a hitting breaking-point/epiphanous kinda thing (Bob, Sid & Danny) - action is Spurred, etc. 

A reading could be taken then, as Action as Redemptive Force, mayhaps***. in certain cases. maybe. Sid & Danny, would probs be the easiest players to be reading this theme from, “fucking up”**** & then immediately deciding ‘yk what! lets find this fckd up old musician dude u/i really loved, and ask him to restart his 60s-70s band but w us in it this time’. SO! then they go from essentially wasting away, getting high & rehashing old routines & watching/critiquing awful (beastiality) pornos, to going on their drug-smuggling funded ‘grail quest’, to meeting & reteaching the dude guitar, to Genuinely /Finding/ the grail - before (thru an act of giving up on Expectations / releasing Bitterness) - giving it up. the previous wallowing / lacking of Authenticity is Absolved though all tht, as is a long standing weirdness between them regarding giving up on what could've been their Original /Actually Lucrative/ band*****. ARY Lewis thru action comes to terms / peace w himself even tho he Doesn't find his grail, Tracy finds a kinda “peace” thru a ‘mortifying ordeal of being known’ thing, etc etc. The man (SG Lee) loves his Things Bigger Than The Self stuff i guess.

As a theme this can maybe Also be seen in reverse/inversion, w Abby (p fckn minor character), not rly being Unredeemed or anything, mostly bc she starts off as one of the ppl Least in the gutter. but from the like, glances/vignettes of her once she leaves the main story ( “[god] has a hack screenwriter’s sense of drama” ), shes now set a drift in a way tht she kinda wasn't before, and as it goes on loses diff aspects of control/certainties in her own life. i don't think shes mabs treated as sympathetically as she maybe ought to be? could the loss of these things be read into as a weird punishment for /NOT/ going on or supporting ppl going on grail quests******** ? idk ! or idk, the ending w PR running off bc he's finally found that cigerette end, and her then missing the Avril Lavigne’s hit early 00s song ‘sk8r boy’ reminiscent bit w S&D ringing her up to send her audio of the 1st of the New round tabyls’ gigs, might be read as her still being Stuck/. everyone else has (to one degree or another) improved their position since the start of the book, except her, as the only thing she now no longer has is a deadweight boyfriend and his kinda grody bffl, otherwise everything is The Same.  

Not surprised tht he (i think?) doesn't think its necessarily aged well? or. that it is no longer Quite as Relevant bc of the internet & stuff - idrk if thats Properly True******* - both bc that kinda thing can Just About still happen, but also bc if there wasn't a p minor mention of 1997 being in the past, you'd probs assume it was set earlier. ditto some of the concerns wrt oh, You Know, fckn, Exoticism/native american/shaman stuff - which i don't think is bad/ignorant/racist! but its always difficult to tell, and everything (but which i legit mean Everything/ in Gen, in The World) could use more Nuance.  

I had smth else i wanted to say, but I've forgotten what it is tbqh - & ofc, this has mostly been an exercise in Thought ReHashment(tm). It might've been that the ending seems Terribly/ Tidy. like, i don't think there could BE another ending? but its very Neat: the Bad are punished, some leads are paired off in a (presumably) cishet coupling, bad feelings are trowelled up & buried, the bois remake a hot, niche & authentic band, Luther Peyote can play the guitar again: Picture Perfect. Its an ending that fits, its an ending tht (i think? idk Anything abt this kinda thing) puts emphasis on the quest-y stuff, and the poss redemption angle; but it feels like a far remove from the kinda squalor of the first while - which is probs another point in its favour, rip.*********   

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

*not to say/imply (ofc! ofc!!) tht this might be seen as somewhat ooc of stewart lee, but it still kinda caught me off-guard. poss bc its a Very Tidy wrap-up, and it happens quite fast, i felt. but tht might just be the time that in it. 

**this reason may have been qs of #authenticity! or maybe just bc things/backgrounds/the world are kinda gross

*** “almost. action as redemptive force (as a form off faith/belief? faith/belief as redemptive force - if not in a god, in the World or Others?)” -> thats from the Even Worse! orig version of this, lmao. but also Action as a way of Escape/breaking a cycle

****for want of a better descrip

***** the orig uhm, idfk, them lemon boys, could probs be read into - if one Wanted to read too much into these things mabs - as some kinda weird parallel to the original On The Hour stuff(?) w AL vs L&H, & how they Didn't get royalties/whatever was up there. you'd never be able to be either Accurate or Sure about that though, even w certain traits of S&D being p clearly lifted from L&H, or old SL routines - theyre not Explicit or Perfect cyphers/inserts yk?******

****** following on! (if i may) some of the. not /Tension/,, but smth similar, w S&D often feels. not truly emotionally resolved? or just like, Unclear/ at times. the whole novel speeds up a fair bit once more than 2 (two) characters have to be properly juggled in a scene. [which is to say tht in some real Old L&H interviews, (usually in the ones where L isn't present, lmao) RH says tht SL gets ‘embarrassed’ by having to directly explore how ppl might feel about each other/relationships yk? can't say thats necessarily true! but it Is smth i couldn't help thinking about. but emotional exploration & openness is also the realm of fanfic, so maybe I'm asking too much, fgdksh] 

*******im trying not to use the word ‘necessarily’ here again

******** for the small sum of €5 a month, you too could support a pilgrim on a grail quest

*********tho tbf, could also v much be influenced by the whole thing being written over the better part of a decade, place/s while writing & stuff yk? idfk

[queen-of-hearts92]

Revue Starlight 4: Where in Tokyo is Hikari Kagura?

BANANA, IN PAJAMAS, IS VERY BANA-NICE! 

For the previous episode go here!

To go to the start of these posts, go to the Prelude!

Sup everyone, this week we have a what is known as a breather episode. It’s a break to get to know everyone more pretty much! But it was still a good time! Like wow, even the breather episodes are fascinating! Ok! Here we go!

Quick note: I discovered Claudine’s nickname is Kuro, given by Karen it sounds like, so I’ll probably use that from time to time. So Kuro=Claudine, now you know and won’t be confused when I call her that being like “who the fuck is Kuro?”. Odd her image color is orange but her nickname means black and theres no orange on her stage outfit. Eh, whatever.

>Guess who watched the stage play?

Recently I decided to go ahead and watch the stage play, it was a chinese sub (I’ll link ya to it if you like, just message me) so while I couldn’t gather a ton of info I did gather some interesting shit. First off, the stage play story and the anime story are quite different from each other as far as I could tell. So don’t worry too much about spoilers, the show is very quick and compressed pacing wise for example. Ok so first off, remember the mystery names in the cast list on the bottom of the fan translated website? In the stage show there are three teachers overseeing the fights, I only know one of their names so the other two I’ll call Red Jacket and Yellow Sweater.

Red Jacket seems to be a gym teacher of sorts, Yellow Sweater is a music teacher. Yellow Sweater dislikes the fights right away while Red Jacket gradually gets more and more uncomfortable with the kids fighting. The third teacher is the most important one, she’s in charge (might be the headmaster of the school) and orchestrating the whole thing. Her name is Souda Haseda, the girls call her “Souda-sensei”, and I really think its very likely she is going to be in the anime. So we are probably gonna get a face to the system! Good, this will be exciting!

Second thing here, in the stage version it seems like the audition duels magically jack up the girl’s aggression and worst possible traits A LOT. This way they fight each other and its, wild. You can break out of the influences but man does it hit hard! Examples being Maya being really bloodthirsty (my curiosity of the play started cause I saw a screenshot of her stabbing Claudine, don’t worry Claudine is fine its not really mentioned or has consequences as far as I can tell), Nana’s aggression is fuckin nuts, and Hikari starts taunting her opponents and during a fight with Mahiru she knocks Mahiru the fuck out! Like holyyy shit Hikari!

And they snap out of this blinding rage when the duel ends but the winners go right back into it once their next duel starts. Like when Maya beats Kuro she isn’t happy, no. She’s upset and has this look on her face that says “I won but at what cost?”. And then the next fight she’s right back into stabby time. I’m not describing everything cause you could see it for yourself but wow man. I actually don’t think any of this stuff about the auditions will be true in the anime but I think the underground stage is probably set up to egg everyone on into wanting to fight each other. Yikes.

-The word Kirin was used in the musical, and I think it was referring to the mythical animal. I’m thinking I’m right about my theory of what Giraffe is! But there's still a lingering question, if Kirins are supposed to be beings of good luck and fortune why is there one associated with a game of misery and conflict? Hm. The mystery continues.

--Also btw, I tried to see if Souda-sensei’s name meant anything but I couldn’t get anything to make any sense. All I know is her name involves running and feathers and maybe camels and gauze or something silky? I got running away/escaping, going fast. Idk, it’s this 走駝紗羽 (and I’m pretty positive her name is written this way) if anyone wants to give it a go themselves. I’m not an expert at all so maybe you’ll find something I missed.

Alrighty that’s all I gotta say on the play! Glad I watched it, still don’t know what’s gonna happen in the anime tho lol. Yay surprises!

>*Carmen Sandiago theme intensifies as the ep summary starts up*

The episode starts with baby! Hikari and Karen watching the Starlight play. The roles are filled by all the girls doing a repeat of the stairs from episode one. Teen! Hikari and Karen are playing the two goddesses, just like we saw Maya and Claudine do in the flashback last episode. The pink star shines brightly as it did last time we saw this play.

Y’ALL I ALREADY WARNED YOU ABOUT THOSE STAIRS!

After Hikari and Karen’s characters reach for the star, they are each on a raised platform. And then, THEN THE STAR BLASTS KAREN’S CHARACTER IN THE FACE AND SHE DIES. Yeah. Anyways Karen’s platform goes down while Hikari’s goes up and sand rains down from the sky onto Hikari’s character who is crying. Notably the tower that held the star is empty.

Twinkle twinkle little star, IT WILL UNLEASH THE WRATH OF GOD!

Now we are in the present, its the next day. Karen wakes up and notices Hikari isn’t there. So she proceeds to run around the dorm barging into all the rooms looking for Hikari. She wakes up Nana and Junna, looks around the bathing room while Maya is there, and startles Claudine into speaking French while she was looking at photos of Maya dancing on her tablet….Which is for researching Maya’s dancing of course, and for no other reason even though she hides her tablet screen so Karen can’t see the photos. Research purposes only!

After this show is done I might do a best screenshot compilation post. This will be one of them, it’s priceless.

We then go to the living room where we find out Karen woke up Futaba and Kaoruko and the two are on the couch looking very sleepy. Everyone else is also there and being like “God dammit Karen, she’s been doing this all morning!”. Karen runs into the living room, sad she didn’t find Hikari anywhere in the dorm. Nana asks if Karen tried calling her and Karen is like oooh yeah phones are a thing. She thanks Nana by combining her nickname with the word nice getting the amazing phrase “Bana-nice” and floofing Nana’s pigtails. Nana likes this. 

Karen calls Hikari and asks where the fuck she is, Hikari doesn’t say anything but Karen can hear a train station and is like “wtf are you off campus?! You need a notice! Curfew is at 6!” but Hikari hangs up. Karen decides to go and find her. All the girls (including sleepy Kaoruko draped over her gf like a sloth) follow Karen to the door. Futaba is like uh are you gonna get a notice? Junna reminds Karen it's her turn to clean the hallways. Karen is like, sorry I gotta go find Hikari! Karen runs to the train station but no Hikari. She sends Hikari a text and Hikari response with the best emote known to man. And no translation needed honestly.

Hikari won’t hesitate bitch!

Eventually Hikari sends a picture of herself in front of a, blurry blob. Karen guesses a rock climbing wall, its wrong. Karen runs around and asks a little girl what she think it is and the girl thinks its jellyfish. Karen runs to a aquarium, its the wrong one. Hikari sends another jellyfish picture and Karen races out to the train. Btw Hikari has her roller suitcase with her the entire time. Anyways, Hikari is in another aquarium but Karen is tired so she sits in a train station. Hikari then finally texts words instead of jellyfish photos, she asks why did you lose. Karen replies saying that Maya and her aren’t on the same stage (as in she means Maya is much stronger than her), if you could even call it a stage that is. Hikari calls her an idiot. Karen then asks well what should she have done then?! Hikari responses with, I don’t know. She wonders what should they do. Karen decides to call her and this time Hikari picks up and responds! She asks if Karen remembers “their Starlight”.

Back on campus, Futaba and Kaoruko are chilling in a training room. Kaoruko complains about having to wear school uniforms/school wear while in the school building. She then brings up the audition duels, she is surprised Futaba is in them and didn’t talk to her about doing that. She wonders if the prize of being Top Star is real. Kaoruko says “aw man that means we gotta fight one day, but you’ll let me win right?”, Futaba doesn’t give an answer. Instead she slides Kaoruko off of her lap. This is fine. Just fine.

Anywho Kaoruko is then like, I got an idea! She starts skipping towards the teacher’s office with Futaba right behind her. Yeah she’s gonna go tattle on Karen and Hikari being off campus without permission cause then less rivals for Top Star, don’t ever trust the sleepy ones you guys. Luckily Mahiru stops them in their tracks saying she’s the goddess of the hallway while pointing with and spinning her baton. Mahiru says she senses wicked intent from them, and figures out Kaoruko’s plan right away and does a great impression of her. Kaoruko tries to be like “uhhh no we weren't gonna. Do anything like that.” Mahiru then aggressively spins her baton at them until they run away. Mahiru then dramatically laments that she’s jealous that Karen was chasing Hikari and not her.

ALL HAIL THE HALLWAY GODDESS! PROTECTOR OF THE IDIOTS!

Back with Karen and Hikari, Karen is like ofc I remember our promise! Then the two have a long much needed catching up talk while they individually wander around Tokyo for the rest of the day. Eventually Karen talks about how much she loves the stage and wants to go even higher, hence she’ll keep doing the audition duels. Finally, at night, the two meet in person at the lit up Tokyo Tower.

Meanwhile, we go to Claudine practicing dance. She’s been doing so for awhile. Maya then comes the fuck in and asks if she wanted to dance with her. They turn on sweet jazzy music and they dance. Maya comments that Claudine seems all psyched up again and Claudine says that Maya tends to fire her up and Maya is like “orly? Cool” (Maya don’t be coy you already knew that). Claudine asks “So, why the hell are you even IN the auditions in the first place? It’s not like you need em, you’re already take center stage with everything!” Maya playfully says she gets jealous is all. They finish their dance with Maya dipping Claudine, she says the idea of anyone having the Top Star besides herself makes her very jealous. What Maya is really saying is she wants Claudine to challenge her and try to take the Top Star, Claudine smiles and calls her greedy. Challenge accepted.

Maya is NOT subtle with her crush at all, it’s amazing. 

Back with Karen and Hikari, they try to go to the aquarium that’s under the tower but sadly its closed for maintenance. The two sit in a park nearby the tower, Karen is like “its okay we can always come together here again!” Hikari then finally talks about the audition duels. She says if you lose too many times and get booted out, you will lose the most important thing to a Stage Girl. Damn. 

Karen is like ooohh that's why you locked me in a shed, but she points out that not going to the duel meant she’d lose by default and Hikari very obviously didn’t think of that. Karen, running up a slide, is like Hikari don’t worry I won’t lose anymore! She’s gonna be shining! She will shine with Hikari! Hikari points out there's only one Top Star and Karen is like uh Giraffe never said there couldn’t be two! Not a bad point. Hikari is like dude thats not gonna happen but Karen is like let’s try anyways. Hikari is like, ok. And joins her on the top of the slide. They stand together holding hands, the tower glowing softly nearby.

They say if a couple witnesses the turning off of Tokyo Tower’s lights at night, they will stay together forever......uh. It’s still on. Uh oh.

Meanwhile at the dorms, their teacher is checking if all of them are there so the girls gotta cover for Karen and Hikari. When their teacher checks the room, Mahiru is like oh they tired so they went to bed early. Kaoruko and Futaba are being body doubles in Karen and Hikari’s bed. However because they didn’t use pillows like most kids in media do, now Kaoruko and Futaba’s room is being checked and they ain’t there. Everyone is thinking fffucck. 

So, to allow the gfs to sneak back to their room, Maya and Claudine join in to help their dumbass friends/floormates. Claudine’s brilliant idea is to stage faint and start rambling random words in French, Maya catches her and is like “oh nooo. She fainted!” the teacher runs over asking what happened and Maya says, what's most likely the first thing that popped up in her head, “She’s got, stage fright!!” I’m. You guys.

Anyways, Futaba and Kaoruko sneaked back to their room door while the teacher’s back was turned. The teacher turns around and sees them by their door. Maya very quietly asks Claudine how long she was gonna lay there rambling in French, so Claudine springs up and is like “HEY I’M FINE NOW!” The teacher is like, well alrighty then. After she leaves, Nana is like “wow i’ve never done that before….but Bana-nice!” Junna is like let’s NEVER do this again.

This goes to show. Top of the class or not, teenagers are teenagers.

The next morning, Mahiru is waiting on the stairs in front of the dorm and sleeping. She wakes up and sees Karen and Hikari walking towards the dorm. She’s like YAY THEY’RE BACK! Junna and Nana come outside while everyone else looks out their windows. Junna is like “WTF What were you two thinking?!” Turns out they ran out of money so they couldn’t take the train back, oops. Karen is like, it’s cool we got back at 6. Junna groans and is like 6PM not AM! Junna scolds them and Nana says Junna did Karen’s cleaning duties for her, Junna blushes. Karen gets emotional, apologizes, and hugs Junna, much to Mahiru’s dismay. 

Then, because these useless lesbians were outside shouting about covering for Karen and Hikari, the teacher rides by on her bike and is like Karen and Hikari come to the office later and bring all those who covered for you too. Yeah she found out, oops. She says they will get “the legendary punishment” and rides away. Junna is like fffffffffuck I’ve heard horrible things about that! Rumor has it that it has caused students to leave the school all together! Karen is like, fuck. Uh, it’s fine! We’re all in this together. Junna is dying squirtle. 

But, she says she’s glad they are safe. Then all the girls tell them “Welcome back”! Hikari is obviously touched by this. The girls go back inside for breakfast. Hikari puts her new stuffed jellyfish next to her bear and the episode ends with the ending theme being sung by both Hikari and Karen.

Let’s face it, getting the jellyfish alone was worth going out for!

>Even the breather episodes have a lot going on!

-Odd to mention now I know, but I love how they draw bangs in the show! They so flippy and cute!

-Also fun fact, the white bear Hikari has everywhere is an in universe mascot character called Mr. White. Hikari loves this mascot so much its on her stage uniform!

-So Hikari straight up leaves the dorms this episode and I think the reason is this, she realized Karen only auditioned cause she was there. If she wasn’t there Karen would’ve never auditioned, so her quest was doomed from the get go. So she leaves hoping Karen would now stop dueling since she isn’t there. But what Hikari underestimated was how much Karen cares about her, she didn’t expect Karen to call her or go looking for her. Hikari at this point is at a loss of what to do, the reason why she came in the first place was a failure. Hence she wanders looking at jellyfish, avoiding Karen since she didn’t want to admit how she felt and that she fucked up. But Karen got it out of her via texting and they finally spoke extensively to each other. This was a good step for them! Looks like Karen convinced Hikari, for the time being, of getting Top Star together!

But is it really such a good idea?...Dunno yet.

-I love that sleepy Kaoruko just drapes herself onto Futaba like Futaba is a big old pillow and she is a sleepy sloth. Very cute girlfriends. Though, there was very strong foreshadowing here that their relationship will be strained thanks to the duels. Futaba isn’t going to just let her win, her silence after Kaoruko asks her that just proves it. Good luck dear lesbians.

-I can’t believe Claudine “I keep photos of Maya dancing on my tablet just for observing her dancing and not because I think she’s hot or anything. JUST FOR RESEARCH PURPOSES!” Saijo is fucking canon. I made a joke of that nature in my last post but then this really happened! I’m SO pleased. Also Karen startled her so much she reverts to speaking French lol. Kuro is the living embodiment of the “600 photos fly out of pockets” meme I swear. I really like her, she’s great!

-Nana’s reaction to Karen fluffing her pigtails was very cute. She is very cute.

-Junna with her hair down is very cute yes but oh man this screenshot of her being startled awake is the funniest fucking thing oh my god. I can’t decide if she was dreaming of titty or if she was ready scratch the face off of whoever came into her room lol.

-I love how comfortable the 8 girls are with each other? Like not all of them are best friends or anything they are just used to living with each other, I assume they’ve been living with each other since their 1st year. And yeah you just kinda get used to any weird shit your floor mates do. We got a good look at that this episode. Karen is running around looking for Hikari and she’s comfortable with everyone enough to barge into people’s rooms and any other room and be like “HAVEYOUSEENHIKARIISSHEINHERE?!”. Also it is funny seeing Karen burst into every room in the dorm like that. She even startled Maya lol. Karen pls.

It kinda gives me flashbacks to when I was in theater and summer camp lol, er not the running into the bathroom while someone was there part tho.

--Also Karen, why do you keep looking under places that Hikari can’t possibly fit or hide in? Unless Hikari is a cat, if she can get her head through she can get in. Maybe, she is a cat. *X Files music*.

-Being Mahiru is still suffering. Like damn it’s suffering! Karen didn’t even really talk to her getting back from the big city. She looks so sad when Karen hugs Junna and not her. OUCH. Currently I’m putting my bets on us losing Mahiru first, she’s the odd man out and that would hurt Karen greatly and up the stakes a lot. Either way it’s only a matter of time b4 she mcfreakin loses it now, and judging by some episode five screenshot teaser that might come soon. SPEAKING OF WHICH!

--THIS. OK. WHAT. IS. THAT. WHITE. THING?! IT HAS AN EYE?! AAAAA?! Is it a prop?! Is it real?! Is it a lovecraftian horror?! What?! Whatcha got in store for us episode 5?! I’m excited and scared at the same time.

-What’s very interesting is that Karen wasn’t sleepy or tired this episode even though it’s post duel. I’m thinking her drive to find Hikari overrode everything else, amazing. The power of gay love!

-When Claudine suddenly dropped to the ground, for a hot second I was like WHAT IS SHE OK but then I realized it was a distraction. Shout out to Maya for just going with it, catching her and everything. Also well well Kuro it looks like you trust Maya enough to catch ya when you stage faint. :3c 

Anywho what cracked me up the most was how slapped together their distraction was, like you guys you’ve been actresses for awhile now and this is the best you can do? Guess they aren’t one for improv lol. I’m honestly glad it went this dumb cause it goes to show that even the top students are still teens, covering for their idiot friends/floormates. I am also happy they took part in this hairbrained scheme, I’ll say more about this later.

-Hikari says when you get booted out of the duels you “lose the most important thing to a stage girl”. Well that’s really vague Hikari. Either she is still withholding information OR that is all she knows. I got the impression in the stage play she was Souda-sensei’s spy/agent to get people to fight, can’t say if that’s true here though.

-Kaoruko omg. I knew she had a secret mean streak but wowww. The good news is she isn’t very sneaky about it, nor is her girlfriend, so Mahiru easily stopped that shit in its track. I still love her though, Sailor Neptune's spirit lives on and is as passive aggressive as ever!

-The Venus de Milo statue didn’t pop up this episode, but that’s likely cause we weren’t on campus very much this time. The pink light was still everywhere like usual though. Also we learned the school has free practice days! That’s neat.

-Hey Maya, I don’t think saying ominous things about the audition duels while dancing is how you flirt with a girl. Granted it looks like it worked? Weirdos. And I told ya guys, Maya really loves dancing with her. She went out her way to do so this episode! Also good to know Maya always smiles at her when they dance even if no one else is watching so her smiling isn’t performative. And man, I’ve noticed Maya seeks out Kuro and only Kuro instead of hanging out with anyone else. That girl has got it bad. 

--Maya hun, did you learn all your flirting tactics from the theater? I think she did, amazing.

-Honestly I’m loving Kuro and Maya’s dynamic more and more each episode, they are actually really adorable? Kuro is in deep denial while Maya is like “That’s ok, take your time. :)”. In the meantime she’s here to impress and think “She’s so pretty when she fights and when she dances and when she-” and so on and so forth. 

However like with everyone else’s relationships, their relationship is going to end up strained thanks to the audition duels. Right now, Maya very firmly believes that being a Top Star means being alone. Throwing everything and everyone away, no matter what. But that begs the question, how will she handle it when it’s Kuro’s time to get booted (I think Maya and Karen will be the last ones standing)? I don’t mean just losing, being kicked out of the duels all together.

If my theory on radiance aka ability to perform on the stage is the thing taken is correct, than that means Maya can’t dance with her or see her fiery passion for the theater anymore after she’s kicked out. When that time comes, will she really be ok with leaving Kuro with nothing and standing alone? Ha ha, what if Maya knows they have limited time together so she’s trying to have as much time as she can? Ahaha...oh I just made myself sad.

-Speaking of Maya and Kuro, those two are a lot different than I expected. Way nicer and for sure not so above it all. They are just teenagers like the rest of them. I really love how different Maya is off the stage, when fighting/on stage she is very intimidating and seems all powerful. But when not she is, very respected and talented yes, but she is just another girl in their class. Maya isn’t an asshole to her classmates like you’d expect most characters like her to do, and like I said she obviously enjoys dancing with Kuro even though they are rivals.

Kuro on the other hand could’ve been like your average rich bitch character but nope! She's actually very chill and playful with everyone not named Tendou Maya, hell she even has a nickname, all of her intensity goes towards Maya instead. And ofc her deep denial about how she feels about Maya. It's very fascinating and I love it, I love them. They could’ve easily been the stock popular snobs/jerks but they aren’t, they are much deeper than that. And that’s wonderful!

-How odd that Claudine is asking Maya why she’s even in the underground duels and says that Maya “doesn’t need them”. So does that mean these fights are for girls who are desperate to get to the top and feel there’s no other way? If so, then why is Maya there? Maya herself doesn’t give an actual answer. Hm.

-The curfew for the dorms is 6pm apparently but the duels obviously go way past that time and into the night. So there’s at least two possibilities here. One, the school is very much in on it so the curfew is null and void for the girls who fight that night. Or two, the dueling does indeed take place in a dream world or dreamlike world. The question is when do the girls enter it? How does the elevator work then? Do their real bodies go with them? Are they just teleported back into their beds afterwards? Or a mix of both, school is in on it and there’s some magic shit going on? Like the school knows but the audition duels are in a dreamlike place is what I mean. HM. There is so much we don’t know about the duels honestly. What are they hiding? And, how much do the Stage Girls really know?

--I’m thinking that it’s likely the duels are taking place in a dreamlike world, that would line up with Karen waking up in bed after them and line up with the girls being tired the next day. However I must point out that even if the audition duels do take place in a dreamlike world, it doesn’t make it less real. No the experience is very real it just takes place in a dreamlike reality (think like in the movies Inception or Paprika). The Stage Girls remember the duels and no these aren’t just normal auditions, we have zero evidence suggesting that still so I’d say get that idea outta yo head. 

I’m also thinking any wounds or hell even dying would all be temporary, like you’d wake up and you are fine physically. However emotionally not so much, you’d remember the experience of either dying or killing someone and that will probably fuck you up a bit, shit. And I think there is a way to die but it maybe only the Revue itself can do that. I’m guessing losing will really scramble your brain in some way. Oh dear.

-We see more of the Starlight play, so the summary I got right now for the plot of this play is this. Once upon a time there were two goddesses, they loved each other very much. But they both wanted to reach for a light high up in the sky, a star. So together they leave their nymphs friends (Idk are they nymphs or what) behind, and they go to the star. Both goddesses reach for the star but, the star fired a laser beam and shot one of the goddesses out of the sky. The other was being pulled into the star, unable to go back for her lover. So she turned her into sand to spare her a horrible death. They were forever separated, their dream could never come true. The End! Soooo this foreshadowing makes me nervous for the girls, I’ll talk about it more in the speculation part.

--Quick note here, I learned that the names of the two goddesses in the play are Claire and Flora. Now Flora is a latin name that means flower and is the name of the Roman goddess of flowers and plants. Interestingly, the school’s symbol is a flower! Or looks like one to me at least. Claire is also a latin name and it means bright, clear, and….famous. Hm, I think I’m gonna assume Claire is the goddess who didn’t die. Could be wrong though.

>IMMA FIRING MY SPECULATIONS! RAWR!

(Is that meme considered old now?)

-So is the legendary punishment legit or was their teacher just fucking with them? I suspect if it is, and if we see it, the punishment isn’t as bad as it’s rumored to be. If it is, maybe it's like the stage play. In the stage play, because Karen was late to class too many times I think, the girls got thrown into the fighty Greek Chorus hell pit. Most of them without weapons, at least Maya and Kuro went for using their bare hands instead. Wow. Death by greek chorus, what a way to go.

-I’m thinking that starlight equals radiance aka talent. The starlight gatherers thing I pointed out last week would match up to this idea.

-The penalty of losing too much in the auditions is that something important to Stage Girls is lost. I strongly think what they lose is their radiance aka starlight. Basically all their abilities they can use to perform. Maybe even weakening their bodies? My current thought for the truth about being Top Star is that Top Star is given all the radiance of the girls who lost, maybe used as a battery by the tiara but even just being given all the radiance is painful too. You’d be alone at the top, all your friends are gone and you’ve literally taken away everything they had. Basically the winner doesn’t even win, the only winner is the cruel system. 

So I got two ideas of where this could go, one is that the girls who lose become shells of their former selves after losing their starlight. Blank eyes, not very active, that kind of thing. And maybe the effect can be resisted for a little while but it will come for you in the end. And maybe it could even cause you to fade away into nothing but pink light....which is all over this anime. UM. OH GEEZ.

The other idea is that, the stage literally steals you away. If the idea is to give all the radiance at once to whoever the Top Star is, storing the losing girls would work too. Like the stage basically catches the losing girl, drags her under or upward (or even stage left or right) and then the girl is put in a deep sleep pretty much. They sleep in coffins or boxes until there is a Top Star, then they will be taken out and drained. This could be a good way for the school to not have to deal with zombie like girls, they can just say they are sick. Not like the other Stage Girls can tell anyone otherwise. What happens afterwards can’t say I know really. Could go with them fake joining the Starlight group like in my theory. Or they just bury whats left of the girls under the stage. Shit.

-Heres a theory that came to me while I was watching the stage version, the Starlight story isn’t made up. The myth is real. The goddess that lived is among them, maybe as the head teacher Souda-sensei? That would explain all the goddess symbolism, specially love goddesses because this one lost her lover and so did Inanna and Venus. It might also explain our Qilin, he is loyal to her. 

So if the goddess is real why is she here? Well, I think she did indeed take the star and stored it away. However, this goddess has become cruel. She had seen other women with their best friends and their lovers and became angry. Why do they get to keep who they love the most and she had to lose hers? So maybe this is a recreation, she might just be a goddess who loves theater and sees it as a good way to lure girls. She puts the same number of girls as there were goddesses or goddesses and their nymphs idk. They fight for the Top Star, fighting friends and lovers alike. And the girl that wins gains the star powers, but now she’s alone and she lost everything else. Just like the goddess herself, another lonely star.

>Bana-nice!

This was a nice breather episode! Got to hang with the girls more, got some more foreshadowing, got some more gay, it was fun! And it gave the animators a break! It looks like episode 5 is gonna be a doozy though, oh boy.

See you on the stage for episode 5!

[i-want-my-iwtv]

My mom got me into The Vampire Chronicles a couple months back, and now I’m looking for the fandom. Why is the fandom so small? Why is there so little fanfiction? I often have to write fanfiction that I want to read. (Which is fine by me, it’s just I’m not that good at writing.)

Hey, welcome to our little corner of tumblrland! Share your fanfic with us, step out into the light, Anon! I’m often critical of my own writing, and I often have a beta reader, a dear friend who gives me constructive criticism and even rewrites lines if I ask her to do so, like an editor, a beta can offer a huge improvement on one’s writing. Maybe you’d like to find a beta reader? 

-PREAMBLE SORRY BUT I MUST- and no TL;DR for it-

Sometimes when ppl ask those questions, Why is the fandom so small and Where is the fanfic b/c I can’t find it, it’s argument bait, I’m sorry to say. 

But I’m taking it at face value that you are somewhat or totally unaware of our history, that your mom might not know, and that you are not putting out bait for argument. I’ll try to give you a synopsis in good faith, and hope that other ppl see this post as such. I’m not interested in taking sides, reopening those old wounds for the millionth time. I think of us as the bastard children of fandom, beaten in to a corner by a formerly abusive parent, and we are survivors of that. As such, I would hope that we could offer each other even more compassion than other fans in other fandoms. It doesn’t always work that way. Things can be misread and emotions misinterpreted; this is a text-based communication so we are cheated of facial and verbal cues, it is far too easy to misread intention.

What draws ppl to VC? From what I’ve learned over the years, a lot of us felt marginalized in one way or another and we related to something in VC, we drew strength from it as we were struggling with something in real life. It helped at a time that we needed it. It might still help us. Some ppl just like the purple prose! For real! 

Whatever the case, and however you choose to engage with canon or fandom, no one’s relationship to the books or characters supersedes anyone else’s. Not mine, not yours, Anon. We all have our own personal relationship with it. I hesitate to use the word “valid,” bc no one needs “validation” to love a book series or character(s). No one can be “invalidated” for loving a book series or character(s). 

I was in fandom before the internet, and even tho, as I’ll mention below, it was with only one other flesh-and-blood friend, we had our own 2-person fandom! We liked what we liked. We didn’t agree on everything, we still don’t, but it was always civil, and any argument was always based on curiosity and trying to gain a better understanding from each other. It was never about this public display we have now on tumblr and other social networking sites of idk, “My 10K notes means my opinion supercedes yours!”? I don’t subscribe… Unless those 10K notes are turning into dollars, then we’ll revisit it, lol. 

What even is the point of my blog? It’s for entertainment, my own experience, a collection of other ppl’s experience, and fanworks. When ppl say that I exert all this influence on an army of ppl, I am, in actuality, preaching to a big pile of cats, that’s how it feels. I serve catnip to cats. That’s the intention, anyway.They don’t even Like some of it, I’ll get like 5 notes on this post, lol. I have no need to be Right. I have no need to be anything other than a brief reprieve from how insane Real Life is and can be.

Fandom isn’t a contest. No one is keeping score. No one even knows your follower count unless you tell ppl (and I wouldn’t, bc even if you only have 10 more followers than smne else, it generally leads to envy). 

TL;DR for the below info: The fandom was small, but it’s growing now, and there is fanfic, try here on tumblr, and try Archiveofourown.org (AO3). Fandom, however, like Real Life, takes your own work to make what you can of it. 

FRICKIN’ WALL OF TEXT™ NO CUTS WE LONGPOST LIKE MEN

A) The fandom is was small bc:

^Gawds this is gonna be me on the outside eventually, it’s me on the inside sometimes lol.

It’s an old fandom, over 40 years old! IWTV, the first book in the series, was published in 1976.

Back then, fandom was just the ppl you could gather together, physical mailing lists, idk. It progressed to zines, probably, like other fandoms, but you had to know who was making them. I wasn’t born yet so I don’t know!

As the internet was born, ppl began to find each other on webrings, but even then, it was hard, bc Anne Rice did not approve of fanfic. So you had to know where to look or be lucky enough to stumble upon it.

By the early 90′s when I came into VC, there were some fic sites like Rotoli dela Lune (IIRC?) but AR waged a #war on fanfic, sending threatening cease & desist letters to writers, and that made everything EVEN HARDER to find. 

There were official VC graphic novels for a few of the first books and they are hilarious and cringey. Here’s Louis feeding on Daniel jeez… Looks like he wants a lick of the trachea first?

Of course, the IWTV movie in 1994 (in development hell for nearly 20 years) did bring in a wave of new fandom ppl, but they really only found whoever they physically met bc of the movie, and the VC books that were out at the time. Meeting in the audience at the movie? Or in bookstores in the Fantasy/Horror section under R, maybe? Probably?

[X] And TBH the movie got backlash bc it was reviewed as being too gay to some, and as not gay enough, but overall, it did well financially and is still considered smtg of a cult classic bc they drag it out and show it on TV leading up to Halloween or whenever Tom and Brad have new movies out ;D (one near-to-Halloween weekend I watched it 4 times, and that was too many, even for me).

Which was my situation, I had my one VC friend, we met in middle school bc I saw her reading QOTD on the bus, I pestered her that morning, and she had to tolerate almost 20 years of my fannish behavior ever since, all directed at her like a fire hydrant, and then she forced me to start a Tumblr and here we are.

*ahem* 

We had another small influx of fans with movie!QOTD in 2002, but as the story was barely tethered to canon, and for a number of other reasons, idk if it was the blockbuster ppl had hoped it would be. STILL, there are fandom ppl who find it nostalgic, or love it and embrace it even admitting its canon non-compliance. So I try not to trample it too hard, but trampling it hard was once encouraged! anyway… suffice it to say, someone(s) has to watch it with me and mock it to help me through it, lol.

In 2012, we got a graphic novel of Claudia’s POV during IWTV called Claudia’s Story. You can find it on Amazon.

B) The fanfic IS out there.

CURRENTLY, the fandom is experiencing a revival, we liiiiive!

with the recently published books and AR no longer fights the fanfic writers! Woo!

AR has a FB page and an official VC FB page, where she communicates with her People of the Page and whoever else comments on her posts.

There’s also a thriving community of ppl here on tumblr, who make fanart, write fic, do podcasts, write meta, cosplay, etc. Dig around in my archive and you’ll find them. We just did a @vcsecretgifts exchange and there’s fanfic in there.

Another great place to find fanfic is archiveofourown.org (AO3). You can set up an account and post your fanfic there, and I bet you’ll find readers who want what you have to offer!

There’s also fanfiction.net, and wattpad, but I don’t know those sites very well.

^^^All this taken into account, the thing is, anon, fandom is not an open door. 

Fandom is not a ballroom with everyone listing their url name down and committing to staying or even having civility, we can’t make a VC RP directory bc inevitably ppl aren’t invited for whatever reason, and feel left out, or they move on to another fandom anyway. It’s not everyone extending their dance-cards for you to sign your blog url for a dance with EVERYONE. We have had arguments and in-fighting, call-out posts, cliques… there are heated posts about certain characters or ships still getting reblogged with their 10K+ notes and an implication that if you “like” those certain characters or ships, that you’re contributing to real world harm. 

Fiction’s affect on reality is a debate that’s started before the internet and will go on as long as we are capable of communicating. Societies have waves of being more or less pure, like a pendulum. That’s not the focus of my blog. 

All debates aside, fandom is what you make it, it’s not guaranteed easy friendship. I once thought it was, but I learned the hard way that it’s very much like real life. You have to do the work of finding and reaching out to those ppl who you find a spark of connection with, and actively nurture that spark. On a public site, you have to extend yourself and show some opinions and thoughts, gush about what you love, reblog from ppl who you relate to, and gradually build your own network of friends. Nothing is handed to you. No one will crowd into your inbox bc your url sounds cool (well, maybe a few urls get attention bc of that!)(there is an exception to every rule).

So whenever I say “Welcome to our little corner of tumblrland!” I mean it, I do welcome all, and I hope that I’m going to see you flourish as you make your way into the space. Are you a new fanartist, or writer, or someone who’s supportive even if they don’t have the skills to create fanwork of their own? A combination? Show us, and reach out, and if we’re compatible, we’ll reach back.

[bunnyrapline]

WKM Theory (long post)

I had a more in depth post but it jay accidentally got deleted and I’m upset about that, it’s late, and I’m on mobile and took me forever to type it the first time and idk if Infeel like doing that again (if this post is super long I did).

Theory 1:

There were six different killers to cover the 6 different types of death. I think this could be accurate b/c when the lightning and thunder occurs when everyone says the word murder, except for the groundskeeper. There are also two people who never say the word; ourselves and Celine so I can’t say for sure which of us could have helped (it’s seems more accurate to say ourselves since we were there and Celine didn’t show up til later, but if she was in on it she could’ve shown up at anytime during the party)

Theory 2: Dark was always a separate entity that existed in the house befor the events or WKM. Dark used his evil force to influence Mark and everyone in the house. This could explain Mark’s attitude change that was mentioned by everyone, Celine’s unhappiness, the Colonel and Celine’s decision to have an affair and the Colonel using blackmail, Damien’s potential corruption that was mentioned in a newspaper, everyone’s strange behavior ( the butler acting strange;most likely drugging our drink and the whole wine cellar thing, the chefs aggressive behavior, the Colonel’s aggressive and erratic behavior), and the gradual increase of aggression as the party goes on Mark throwing chips at us, the Colonel putting detective in choke hold, the Colonel and detective playing Russian roulette, us flipping off the Butler, and the Detective punching us (and maybe us punching him back?)

Dark uses this energy to try and influence the others to kill Mark, does it too well and they murder him so aggressively that his body is unable to be possessed; it is uninhabitable. This pisses Mark off and Dark takes th oppurtunity make an agreement with Mark that they can get revenge and take one of the other bodies and escape the manor (leaving out that it was his influence that ultimately led to Mark’s death).

This plan goes well, they agree to use the Colonel as their instrument for revenge (since he is the most unstable and vulnerable to manipulation), until they have Celine and Damien in the room upstairs (maybe having intentionally led us to the groundskeeper in order to get us out of the house). They use the Colonel to kill Damien and Celine (b/c isn’t that perfect revenge for Mark?) and then Mark jumps into Damien’s body, refuses to let Dark in like they initially agreed, and gets the hell out of there.

Darks pissed but Celine was a seer which make her more vulnerable, and since her body is still there he decides to try and take hers. Celine isn’t having any of that and fights back. Damien’s pissed and confused, but he see the fight happening and jumps in as well in an attempt to help Celine (and maybe himself).

Unfortunately three souls, especially three fighting souls, is too much for the body to handle and Celine’s body becomes uninhabitable. It also lead to three souls becoming stuck together as one; all three are present but there are apart of each other now. (This could explain the light that we see when we make it back in the house and we see Celine; she is surrounded by blue, red, and black light)(This could also explain Darks instability as he is one body holding three minds even if he is the more dominate one)

When we die and we meet Celine and Damien I think Dark is manipulating them and us in order to get us to say yes (I think Dark has to have permission to enter a body which is why he needed Mark to let him into Damien’s. Celine could be an exception since she’s a seer therefor already attached to the spirit world).

I think Dark is manipulating them b/c when you listen to the speech there are parts that have normal echoes of their voices which could be an affect of the void, but some echoes have a darker, deeper tone and I think that is Dark exerting his influence.

I think he shares Damien’s frustration with losing his body b/c as far as Dark was concerned that WAS his body and Mark took it from him. It would also explain Darks “he promised he let me in”.

I’m not sure if Dark planned on casting us out from the beginning, but if he did it would make sense. After all he had just gotten screwed by Mark and I’m sure their head was crowded enough without a fourth soul being in there. It also could’ve been done b/c 4 minds was too much, or it could be a punishment for Celine and Damien for thwarting his attempts to take Celine’s body. (If it was on purpose it could also explain Darks shell cracking in ADWM when we’re with him during the play; Damien/Celine trying to break free/gain control to protect us from him)

(Somewhat unrelated but I think when the detective was closing the door to the room Celine was last in I think the detective saw her and Marks body, which he mistook for Damien’s b/c of cane that he left behind and perhaps they changed Marks clothes to look like ones Damien would wear to trick detective. Which is why he turns to the colonel and says you better choose his next words carefully, holds his gun up to him, and accuse him of murder along with the other things. The killing his best friend thing could have been a reference to Damien in this instance since it was clear the Colonel and Mark were no longer friends)

Theory 3: The events with the Jims take place some time after the events of WKM

I think this makes sense b/c it would explain why we never see the Jims and any other character interact or run into each other besides the detective.

It would explain how Jim would even know about the death as they shouldn’t of if it was during the actual weekend Mark died b/c they hadn’t called the police yet.

It would also explain how Jim could have stolen Celine’s ouija cloth without anyone noticing (which would have been impossible as Celine and Damien would have been in there and they would have been witness to the freaky stuff that went on when they did).

Theory 4: The events of WKM take place on October 11 but what we’re watching actually takes place after we’ve already died and we are reliving the events

One b/c there are two occurrences were we are brought through the house reliving memories and in both instances we recall memories of events that haven’t occurred yet. The first one is the one with the groundskeeper, the second is right after everyone leaves and we’re upstairs and we hear the voice say help. The first thing we hear after that is “Madness?! Madness is stealing your best friends…”.

It doesn’t make sense since neither of those things had happened yet, unless of course they have and we are just stuck reliving the events of our death over and over, or b/c we’re reliving trying to figure out what happened.

It would also explain some the articles and other notes that appear in the office that shouldn’t be there (articles about our death, notes the detective made that I don’t think he would’ve had time to make before). The idea is that at the time they weren’t the only thing that was up there in the office initially was the research on the colonel and Celine, which the detective might have done for Mark before the party (the security tapes about the butler and chef being clean point to an investigation).

It would explain why the Colonel only mentions the research being over himself and Celine being investigated b/c the other stuff isn’t actually there yet. We can see it b/c we’re reliving it in real time. It could also explain why we see lights around Celine and Damien at times b/c we had already seen them in the blue and red hues and that is something that lingers in our reliving

It could also explain that one weird moment with the detective where we hear his inner monologue but he says it like he’s telling it to someone.

Theory 5:

The detective know we’re there and we are trying to figure out exactly everything that happened and piecing it together; maybe trying to figure out where Dark, the Colonel,and Mark went (i believe the theory hat they found their way into a different universe somehow). This has happened b/c the detective found a way to communicate with us after he came back to the house, or the only reason he isn’t dead is b/c we helped him by joining him in his body or joining our souls (or he did die but was brought back in a similar fashion like we were only we aren’t jerks).

The other four theories I feel pretty confident could be possible, this one I’m less sure b/c there isn’t as much proof, but I like it and I find it interesting.

So I did end up retyping it all.

Sorry it’s so long! What do you guys think?

[thumper-darling]

all the writer asks? and can you use your current story for the blank ones?

1. Favorite place to write.

My most productive nights writing were spent in hotel rooms with cheap black coffee and terrible lighting. It sets a very motivating vibe. 

2. Favorite part of writing.

Creating and developing characters. Character arcs?? are ?? my favorite??

3. Least favorite part of writing.

writing ™ 

4. Do you have writing habits or rituals?

Yeah, procrastinating for months. :’)

5. Books or authors that influenced your style the most.

Patrick Ness and Stephen Chbosky are pretty big idols of mine

6. Favorite character you ever created.

Cadence, she’s my hero 

7. Favorite author.

Rainbow Rowell or Patrick Ness

8. Favorite trope to write.

Coming of Age Angst ™ and realistic development for the main character

9. Least favorite trope to write.

Love triangles or over-dramatic and non-realistic romantic interests. 

10. Pick a writer to co-write a book with and tell us what you’d write about.

I’d love to work with Chbosky and write a spin-off of Perks of Being a Wallflower, or like a potential sequel? That would make my actual dreams come true. 

11. Describe your writing process from scratch to finish.

In the beginning, I print off a million character questionnaires and fill out every detail about my main characters. It’s funny, because my characters always come first, and the story soon follows. After I know my characters inside and out, I think in their mindset for days and write down notes about things I for sure want to include in my story whether it be a plot twist or just a small piece of dialogue. Once I find the character’s voice, I feel ready to start writing the story.

12. How do you deal with self-doubts?

I’m still not great with this, because I have a LOT of self-doubt, but I know that writing is what I want to pursue. I just remember that I have talent and I shouldn’t worry about the first draft because the first draft is almost always awful.

13. How do you deal with writers block?

I read. A lot. Reading helps spark ideas and un-stick my story.

14. What’s the most research you ever put into a book?

OH MY GOD. I would look at maps and historic timelines. I filled nearly 4-5 pages of a journal just with a timeline of events and it was lit. 

15. Where does your inspiration come from?

Literally anything. That bench on the corner? INSPIRED. Pulling out of a driveway? INSPIRED. That sandwich looks tasty. INSPIRED. No, but in all seriousness I just observe my surroundings at all times and in an average day I can pull an idea out of something. 

16. Where do you take your motivation from?

I just think of my future and what impact/ message I’d like to leave behind to anybody who reads my writing. 

17. On avarage, how much writing do you get done in a day?

None. Writing isn’t something I can do everyday. Some days I’m more inspired and motivated than others. If I try writing when I don’t have the energy, it turns out forced and choppy. I let the motivation come to me.

18. What’s your revision or rewriting process like?

I typically like to wait a week or two before re-reading and editing, that way I can have space from my writing. I do it gradually through out the story so I can draw potential ideas from what I have so far. 

19. First line of a WIP you’re working on.

Version 1: “The shop had been empty for a little over an hour, and Charlotte was beginning to grow restless.”

Version 2: “Charlotte had a look of determination set in the furrow of her eyebrows and curiosity in the gleam of her eyes.”

20. Post a snippet of a WIP you’re working on.

“Whenever Jordyn spoke, it was reminiscent of watching an old southern film. Her slight, hidden drawl was nothing less than soothing. Charlotte sometimes liked to picture her with obnoxiously tight ringlet curls and big, poofy southern belle dresses with frilly ribbons and lace. The thought brought a subtle snort from Charlotte.”

21. Post the last sentence you wrote in one of your WIP’s.

Version 1: “He just followed his feet, and they lead him to her.”

Version 2: “His only response was a smirk before he opened the door to the back alley.”

22. How many drafts do you need until you’re satisfied and a project is ultimately done for you?

At least a million

23. Single or multi POV, and why?

Single, I feel like it leaves for more mystery. That way the reader can interpret different POV’s for themselves. 

24. Poetry or prose, and why?

Prose, rhyming isn’t my forte 

25. Linear or non-linear, and why?

Depends on the story I’m trying to tell. Sometimes one way has more impact than another. 

26. Standalone or series, and why?

Standalones are beautiful for some stories, but others simply must be more than just one book long. Some stories exceed one book.  

27. Do you share rough drafts or do you wait until it’s all polished? 

I share drafts with people I trust to edit or give me feedback. 

28. And who do you share them with?

My friends that love stories. 

29. Who do you write for?

Mainly for myself, but also for anybody that needs to hear the message my story can offer them. 

30. Favorite line you’ve ever written.

“So, as a sign of letting go, I introduced my lips to his cheek and the sound of my skin meeting his was a melody playing a sweet goodbye.”

“Kissing him was like kissing air or water, it was so sweet and slow that it was a natural instinct to flow with it. However, kissing her was like fire because it was warm, inviting, and compelling, but had all the potential to burn him. Their love was like melting into each other, neither would make it out alive.”

31. Hardest character to write.

Side characters or the main character’s family. Because those characters are always important and meaningful, but I don’t want to write them only as a means of helping the main character. I hate flat characters and everybody deserves to have a story, you know?

32. Easiest character to write.

The sidekick ™ 

The one who always knows just what to say and how to say it. 

33. Do you listen to music when you’re writing?

Only for specific scenes that music could really inspire me for. Like if I’m writing a sad scene and I’m not really in that head space, I listen to depressing ass music so I can understand the scene better. 

34. Handwritten notes or typed notes?

Both. Here, have some of my notes.

Just some random dialogue drabbles:

 “So, can I find you here often?” “Jamie…I work here.” “Oh, yeah, right. Of course.”

“There’s nothing beautiful nor poetic about being an asshole, Jenny. Calm down.”

“Listen, you’ll always be a jalapeno bagel and strawberry cream cheese to me, but I sort of feel like I should know your name by now.” 

“Emma, have you ever been in love?” “I might have been. Then again, girls are easy to love, I’m pretty sure Jamie is a different story. If you want my advice Charlotte, date a girl.” 

35. Tell some backstory details about one of your characters in your story ________.

The main character is named Charlotte Caroline Tillman. She’s named after the city and state(ish) that her parents met in. She has an older brother named Chance and a calico cat named Sally Mae. Charlotte goes to an Arts Magnet High School and she has a troubled history with her father, and a lot of the story is about her accepting things she cannot change. Her best friend, Emma, is v gay and v hot. 

36. A spoiler for story _________.

Charlotte ends up leaving town and everyone she loves. All that’s left behind is a note and a phone number. She leaves her life behind. No closure and no goodbyes. She’s kind of a dick. 

37. Most inspirational quote you’ve ever read or heard that’s still important to you.

“That’s where you’re wrong. Everybody has a story, and every one is worth being told.” 

38. Have you shared your outline of your story ________ with someone? If so, what did they think of it?

Lol no, my outline isn’t even finished homeboy

39. Do you base your characters of real people or not? If so, tell us about one.

I usually base my side characters off of people I know or have met, even if only for a brief moment. For example, today at work I saw somebody and instantly knew that I needed her in my story. She is now the inspiration for my character Jenny. 

40. Original Fiction or Fanfiction, and why?

Both are equally fun and important. Fanfiction is an amazing starting point for beginners, and it helps them write. However, original fiction is so raw and new that it could inspire future writers. 

41. How many stories do you work on at one time?

Typically just one, but I always have other stories in the back of my head. I like to focus on one at a time though, that way I can keep characters and plot points straight. 

42. How do you figure out your characters looks, personality, etc.

Well, like I’ve said, my characters come first. So based on whatever kind of story I want to tell, my character has to portray that. So I pick and choose different tropes and arc ideas that could impact the story even further. 

43. Are you an avid reader?

I heckin’ try to be. Sadly, I don’t always get into stories easily. 

44. Best piece of feedback you’ve ever gotten.

I had an English teacher write a note on one of my writing pieces telling me that she knew I had talent and every teacher has one student where they think “That one…that one’s gonna be the one who makes it” I was that student for her. Oh, and my composition professor had my class read some of our writing pieces, and he told the next semester’s class about my writing. The next time I had him in class, he handed me a form for a writing contest. 

45. Worst piece of feedback you’ve ever gotten.

I honestly probably blocked it out. Idk, probably that I use too many commas? Or that one of my chapters was written in a passive voice. 

46. What would your story _______ look like as a tv show or movie? 

OH MAN! It would be great and I feel like a lot of the stories I write would be 100 times better on the big screen. 

47. Do you start with characters or plot when working on a new story?

Characters. 

48. Favorite genre to write in.

Contemporary or science fiction

49. What do you find the hardest to write in a story, the beginning, the middle or the end?

The middle

50. Weirdest story idea you’ve ever had.

A coven of teenage witches that were randomly selected to be given magic. Some of them became corrupt with power, and the others found good use for them. 

51. Describe the aesthetic of your story _______ in 5 sentences or words.

Self love, friendship, denial, heavy, heartbreaking 

52. How did writing change you?

It opened my mind to endless ideas and helped me grow. I often didn’t know what I was feeling until I wrote about it. 

53. What does writing mean to you?

It means creating a million versions of yourself and turning it into a lesson or inspiration for other. 

54. Any writing advice you want to share?

Don’t stop. There are so many things you have to tell the world, so tell them.