#they make me want to eat drywall /pos

[twasforresearch]

smile for the camera flash, blinding you see it all, all of creation it stretches out just like a beautiful ballgown a tuxedo perfectly tailored to every inch of you

lyf and marius dancing, very much inspired by @rainbowstargazerlilies ' fic series the stars claim them. alternate backgrounds and random trivia about the details under the cut!

okay TRIVIA!! -the backgrounds are all images taken by the james webb telescope -their outfits were also inspired by the images!! i colorpicked some of lyf's from the carina nebula, and marius' dress (which i kind of want irl) is partially based on the southern ring nebula -halfway through doing shading i took a break to lie down on the couch because have you ever seen a man so beautiful you started crying? that's marius -lyf's suit is in fact a tuxedo

[octomae]

deep cut are all so sweet to each other, man. frye's win dialogue this time was so cute, her bucket list was literally "do what you guys wanna do". aioguhh.

they love each other so much.

[lavenderbobadragons]

I love interacting with and/or thinking about a media and it makes me feel like this because I’m overwhelmed by how much I’m enjoying it

You know you’re in too deep when something insane happens and you gotta take a step back and inhale deeply to fight the urge to scream

[screams-of-the-damned84]

have a very fluffy jekyon doodle based off an old drawing sage did (under cut!!)

they make me want to eat drywall /pos

[nelsaqift]

Im going to eat the tma au at this point. I need to like. Theres this movie with zombies and whent he sombies eat the memory part of brains its like a drug and gives memories of people. Yeah thats what i need to do i need to consume this au. /lh It’s so interesting and i really enjoyit :) also i enjoy the Vast White Streak™️ because all my mike designs either have that or started with that :3 sorry if im annoying you this au jusy makes me want to eat drywall /pos

no worries !! words actually cannot describe the joy of seeing others interested in what i make :-D could never annoy me. also the white streak is my favourite thing ever as well

unrelated quick doodle of the goobers

[grandlinedreams]

|| I regret nothing pt 2 bc Yamato makes me wanna eat drywall /pos

[Heads up!: oral (reader receiving), pet names used (babe, sweets, Yama, dude), reader is not explicitly gendered]

"What are you reading?" The chin that settles on your shoulder is familiar, as is the wind of arms around your waist, the tickle of ombre hair at your cheek. 

"A book," you answer, grinning when Yamato huffs, clearly unhappy with your answer. 

"I know that," he complains, squeezing for emphasis. "I mean, is it important?"

"Kind of. Why?"

Yamato huffs again. You know what he's like when he slips into these kinds of moods, words laced with a hint of childish petulance. He's bored. 

"I'll be done in a minute," you soothe, abandoning the page for a moment to pat at the side of his face. Yamato is quiet, and you think that'll be the end of it. But it isn't ㅡ he manages all of another sixty seconds before he's rubbing his chin against your shoulder. "Yamato."

"I'm not doing anything," he whines, "just trying to occupy myself while you read."

You roll your eyes good naturedly, deciding to let him do as he pleases. He will anyway, knows that you don't have the heart to stop him when all he's doing is being silly. 

He sighs and then hums some idle tune he'd heard a while ago, drums his fingers against your sides in rhythm. He is very bored. And from the way you turn another page, you've forgotten your promise to pay attention to him. 

He pouts, cheek pressed against your shoulder. "Babe," he begins, "how invested are you in that book?"

"I'm sorry," you say, tone apologetic. "I know I said I'd be done, but this part ㅡ"

"It's okay, I promise." His tone takes on a thoughtful edge, and the drum of his fingers moves to the hem of your shirt. "Just…thinking of something to entertain myself with." 

"And that is?"

Yamato grins against your shoulder, eyes sparkling with mischief. "Wanna see if that book is more interesting than me?"

The sly press of his fingers just underneath your shirt makes you shiver, pulse leaping. 

"I'm trying to read," you protest, but you know you're going to lose this battle, especially when Yamato kisses your neck.

"That's fine, babe." Another kiss, deliberate as he laughs. "Like I said, I'll entertain myself." He pauses, thinking. "Want you to read to me, though."

You blink. "Outㅡout loud?"

"Yeah," Yamato prompts, kissing your jaw. "Why not? Wanna know what you're so interested in."

His fingertips curl lightly against your skin, and you shiver. "Okay," you relent, and he grins into your neck, all sharp teeth against soft skin. 

"Perfect." 

ㅡ

"The desert was a thing of beauty. Powder andㅡ" Warm lips skim your ribs. "ㅡand earth yawned out under a canopy sky. Caramel dunes rippled, edges sh–shimmeringㅡ"

Yamato clicks his tongue. "Don't stutter, I can't understand you." How easy it is for him to say that ㅡ as if he isn't the reason you're having such a hard time focusing on the book in your hands. "Come on, sweets." He goads you gently, nipping at your skin. "Try again."

You inhale shakily, staring down at the top of Yamato's head that's steadily inching further down before you return your focus to your book. It takes a long moment to find where you were, wanting nothing more than to toss it aside and dig your hands into Yamato's hair.

He knows what he's doing, mischievous as he presses open mouthed kisses against the soft skin of your stomach, resting beside your navel as he peers up at you. "Aren't you gonna read?" 

His eyes gleam, laughter shimmering ㅡ and you huff, determined not to give in to him so easily, even as he hooks nimble fingers into the top of your pants.

"The roadㅡ" The tug of fabric and press of Yamato's lips to your hip makes your breath hitch. Sucking in another deep breath, you try again. "The road ran along the coast, where sands stretched and slid into a glistening sea."

Yamato laughs against the apex of your thigh. "Good job," he praises, pairing it with the pinch of his teeth, watches your reflexive jolt and muffled whine with a grin. "Gonna pay attention to me now?"

You stare down at him, the visual of your boyfriend nestled between your legs making need bubble further. The book slips from your grip, and Yamato muffles a laugh.

"Need me that bad?" Your answer is the slide of a hand into his hair, and he hums at the sensation. He busies himself with sucking a mark into the top of your thigh, eyes closing when you tug at his hair with a whine before he pulls away. "Changed my mind, babe. Pick the book back up."

You blink dazedly, reluctantly slipping your hand from his hair to fumble for the book, then peer at Yamato. "Yama, what…"

He's undaunted by your confusion, sin and amusement clashing in his eyes. "Wanna see how long you can read before you finish." 

Your cheeks color. You still can't understand how Yamato can be so straightforward with things like this, but you'd be lying if you said it wasn't part of his charm. 

You struggle to find where you were as the last barrier of clothing slips down your legs, shivering as your legs are coaxed further apart, warm breath against your slick core. Yamato peers up at you, and you swallow a whimper. 

He has to hand it to you, you really do try. You manage a handful of words that he can definitively tell before it dissolves into a stuttered babble, encouraged by the slip of his tongue against you. 

He massages at your legs, spans his fingers out to pin your hips and keep you from shying away as he presses forward to taste you in earnest. The book slips from your grip again and this time when your hand finds his hair, Yamato purrs in approval. 

He lets you have a little bit of control, lets you guide his head this way and that as he curls his tongue, feeding off the increasingly desperate noises that you make.

"Yama," you pant, "Yama, please."

He likes it when you beg. He does it too, of course, but there's something heady in getting you this needy that all you can do is whine for him ㅡ and he doubles his efforts as you near that delicious precipice.

The dig of slightly sharpened nails into your thighs is intentional, pleasure-pain of it the little push that you need as your lips part around a garbled cry of what Yamato thinks might be his name.

He helps you ride out your orgasm, happy to clean you up until you're trying to pull away, whining about being sensitive. Pawing his way up a little, Yamato rests his head on your stomach.

"Dude," he says, watching your chest rise and fall, "you came like, a lot."

Your cheeks flush. "Hush."

"It was hot though," he whines, crawls up the rest of the way to kiss you, and your blush darkens at the taste of yourself on his tongue. "Think we can do that again in a little bit?"

[ashwii]

Okay buddy I LOVE your art it makes me want to eat the drywall /pos

How do you draw so well? Do you have any art/coloring tips?

Aww thank you thank you so much !!

I've answered some more specific questions on my coloring before in "#art tut" on my blog if anyone wants to read any of those, but in general, probably my No. 1 think I'm always keeping in mind and prioritize when drawing is "make the character look like they're really there." I love matching the colors of the character im drawing with the colors of the background, and imo, it REALLY steps up the look of the art.

Like, if your background is dark purple, the character's colors should match that environment. A really easy way to do this is to put a dark purple (or whatever color ur bg is) overlay layer over ur character with a clipping mask. The way I do it tho, I actually manually pick colors from the wheel. Like "Ok the background is purple and Leo is yellow-green. A darker cyan color is probably the best color for him to match the bg," it usually how my brain works XD

That's that I prioritize the most when drawing anyway, but if you or anyone has any more art questions I'm happy to answer! I just love talking abt art so much XD <33

[waywardsalt]

For Linebeck 👀

2. Favorite canon thing about this character?

12. What's a headcanon you have for this character

For Ganondorf

7. What's something the fandom does when it comes to this character that you like

25. What was your first impression of this character? How about now?

Linebeck:

2. Favorite canon thing about this character?

oooooh how do i pick… i love pretty much all canon information (within phantom hourglass) about him… i think for the past few months my favorite canon thing has to be his whole role in the final boss. phantom hourglass’ final boss makes me want to eat drywall (pos) and i’m obsessed with how linebeck plays into it and how it could be read as a further extension of his arc or a forced regression or… it’s just a really, really cool thing he’s involved in, and nothing else like it really happens in the rest of the series, and it’s like… hell yeah man go be the only non-villain character to be the final boss of a zelda game. at a certain point it stops being me purely enjoying canon and then starts being me having fun with piecing together anything that could even slightly stick and following every branching idea that starts with linebeck ending up as the final boss, and it’s all very fun.

12. What's a headcanon you have for this character

hmmmmm... as something i don't think i've clearly shared here, i think he really, really likes snakes. not to the degree at which he likes cats, but he loves all kinds of snakes. he knows about snakes and does research about snakes and picks up snakes out in the wild without first explaining that 1) he saw a snake and 2) it’s not venomous. linebeck’s a snake guy as well as a cat guy.

Ganondorf:

7. What's something the fandom does when it comes to this character that you like

i suppose i really enjoy seeing people just… talk about him? about his motives and history, what they like about him, i like it when the fandom treats him as more than a one-dimensional villain, it’s not much but he’s honestly not a character i’m tooo invested in, so i just like seeing what the people who really like him do with him. i like when people make him a little silly, it feels like it’s done best with the person doing it really loves ganondorf.

25. What was your first impression of this character? How about now?

i honestly can’t quite remember what my first impression of ganondorf was; i started with the original legend of zelda, and a link between worlds was the first one i finished, so i was familiar with beast ganon before ganondorf, and likely saw ganondorf for the first time either in some youtube video or in a smash bros game. so i think my first impression was a sort of… oh neat he exists. no real strong feelings, played ocarina of time and og hyrule warriors and figured he was just neat. now, since i’ve been seeing more of what people who really like him have to say and generally engaging with him more as a character, he’s easily one of the most interesting loz characters and one i really want to learn to write in some way, since only recently i’ve really written him in earnest (as opposed to an incidental character or something).

Questions

[13tinysocks]

New chapter was so!!! Nina is soooo cool, I knew a girl kinda similiar to how you portray her in school at one point. and she was so hot and bold and ran her friend group like the navy/pos, i liked her so much i threw up a few times. And she made me realise i like girls!! I will eat drywall once they kiss. and her and toby make make such fun duo!! And helen is so ethereal but not in an angelic way, more like xe will turn into spring breeze at some point, and you DID NOT lie about wanting ann shes so hot it makes me look stupid. Actually, if this isnt a spoiler or smth, are you planning on writing her as ace or something like that? Since shes not in the dateable lineup i dont want to be weird with any comment

love how you guys write drama and stakes bigger than life and all of that but MAN can you write some silly people! Honestly this is everything I couldve ever wanted from the mansion genre, cant wait till they all eat each others insides.

Reminds me of my first girl crush who wasn't miss bellum from ppg- her name was Annette and she was a baby scene kid in my Spanish class. We bonded over being unlabeled queers and hating men and our teacher.

One day a kid in my class put meatspin.com on one of the class computers and left it for our teacher to find (this was 7th grade so it was hilarious) the teacher next class was upset obviously and nobody would rat out the kid who did it bc we all knew

But Annette did bc she threatened to take away our computer privileges. The kid had to go to therapy lmfao and I stopped liking her bc like... Snitch. I get it but... Snitch.

Anyway Helen is. Helen. I want y'all to take Tim's warning SERIOUS. Xe is.

We haven't fully decided on what's going on with Ann but we do know she has some pretty bad hangups and oh is like 100 years old.

Anyway Nina. The drama gets worse bye

[definitelynotshouting]

Your writing makes me want to eat drywall/ EXTREAMLY pos

The way your senances flow?? The descriptions you use?? The words?? aughh you make me want to get better at writing. I am studying your work under the microscope.

Friggin brilliant you are

-🍂

.

[its-gambit]

Allens mod here hello friend we've talked before.

But I gotta say I absolutely love our characters interactions, they're little freaks and I need them buried in hammers. /pos

Sorry, I had to get that out because I love and adore allens relationships with everyone, but the one he has with Ace particularly makes me want to eat drywall.

Ooc: Hoo I made a name fo myself den. But merci fo da compliment. They do get a bit quirky at night /j.

But don eat dry wall fo da love of God. 😅

I mean unless you put cheese on it/j

[sunmoonclouds]

hiiiiii welcome to my lmk blog

slappin together an intro post to christian this blog or whatever. like breaking a champagne bottle on the hull of a ship or something. honestly idek if im gonna use this blog yet but yknow if i get the impulse i dont wanna have to do a bunch of prep work before i can so here we are.

i use they/them and am an adult. i dont feel comfortable divulging much else but that seems like the most necessary. and as for a name idek what i want to be called In General so if you need a name just make one the fuck up, probably based on my url or just the whole thing so i know you mean me. maybe not just "sun" though. anything else though go wild have fun maybe I'll finally FINALLY feel settled on a name.

slapping the rest under the cut bc hoooly shit. I'll slap a tldr at the bottom too but everything else is very extraneous no worries.

also as you may have noticed already i have severe yap disease. It Is Terminal i fear. but jokes aside i currently have a bad habit of Rambling For Actual Fucking Ever! i apologize in advance and ask for your patience in this difficult time etc etc whatever but in all seriousness this has happened to me before so i have reason to believe it'll get better eventually. it is seriously literally for real just a phase i prommy. or at least i hope so but yknow.

anyway onto actual lmk stuff. my faves r the monkey trio (which is another point in my long long trend of picking vanilla freaking ice cream as my favorite like come onnnnn) but yeah they're the ever 2 me. especially mk when hitting on his monkey plot thread it makes me want 2 eat my phone and chew thru drywall (/v v pos i tend to feel bitey when extremely excited) (i will read every monkey mk fic out there) (mark my words) (this is a threat /lh) but honestly i love them All. i will try and restrain myself from that sidebar tho. [flashbacks to the employment status incident.] . anyway continuing with more In General, i really like everyone's relationship dynamics too and love reading all sorts of fanfic with different takes on them!! like ofc i have my limits but im not picky i loooove different interpretations and angles. and with ships im pretty go with the flow (as long as its not weird). like I'll read just abt anything (as long as its not weird) especially if the writer can get me invested and they do majority of the time so! ya.

my url is based on the monkey trio like sun moon duh but clouds ive seen mk associated with a lot. like stars is the obvious continuation of that trope or w/e you'd call it but the boy has got more cloud vibes i think. also i think ive seen people translate his name to "little cloud" or he was just Called that? like a fanon term of endearment? it was probably a mistranslation or i am completely misremembering everything and just. mixed something up along the way. but regardless. he is now cloud boy.

✨tldr✨

idek if im gonna use this blog yet but im just prepping it in case i do

they/them, adult

if you need a name just make something up, probably from my url or just use it wholesale. maybe not just "sun" on its own though. otherwise as long i understand you're referring to me then hooray the name has served its purpose

disclaimer: i have terminal Will Not Shut Up Disease. but I'll probably get better. one day.

my faves are the monkey trio! (not very unique i know) especially mk in his monkey plot thread! i will consume every monkey mk fic out there mark my words-

but really i do enjoy everyone, especially their various relationship dynamics!

I'll read just about anything in terms of relationship interpretations and ships (as long as it's not weird) as people are so talented in making them interesting and getting me invested!

my url is a monkey trio reference! the cloud part might originate from me misremembering something, but mks just cloud boy to me now ig.

(ps if you know who i am NO YOU DONT!!! i doubt anyone would be able to Tell if they even found this but. im just not ready to deal with that yet. h.)

(pps i know this intro post is ass i will replace it one day but for now it'll do)

[novasintheroom]

Hello! I just want to drop by and say your Vash drabbles and hcs are SO SOO good its making me go insane, like, i want to eat drywall level of insane everytime i read them/pos

thank you so much for feeding us!!! 🙏💖

AAAAAAA tysm!! That makes me so happy to hear!!

I'm trying to post daily as a way to get back into writing, so I'm glad you enjoy them as much as I do writing them! Hopefully I'll have an actual story or two coming up!

Thank you again!! <33

[nilikhangdiwa]

um.

yeah so i feel like i probably have at least one thing in here that will appeal to you 😭😭 like i honestly just write whatever the fuck you can have free reign to browse if you'd like i've been in this hell for 4 years

fic and author recs under the cut because it got LONG

anyway more importantly i know moon already said mirror's face by ryukogo but have you all read mirror's face by ryukogo. gotta be one of my favorite genders forreal !!!!

a dirge for dying stars by augustmishas is also one of my faves, 10/10 made me bawl like a little bitch. similarly, what does it mean? by triglycerides got me crying in the club !!!

hold me tight (tell me i'll be alright) by RoaringRaina is one of my favorite bansaku fics ever ever ever !!!! along with this, Soft Epilogue is also one of my bansaku favorites ever ever ever !!!

Summer Rain by hellbend stands as i think one of the best itatsumu fics and i adore it so much genuinely ao3 user hellbend never misses with itatsumu

summer kisses by vagarius remains to this day one of my favorite a3 fics ever. skye lore of the day is that i used to memorize the url of this fic and i reread it so much that it was on the homescreen of my new chrome tabs. hidden treasure (also by vagarius) is also one of my favorites !!

Wolves in Sheep's Clothing by AJadeLion is one of my favorites as well!! i love chikage and taichi, my two little guys who tried to ruin mankai company 💕💕

Desire (But Not Like That) by Timeskipped is my citochikaita bible and it's so very everything to me.

for some sillier fic recs, Today I Will Be You by NoodleStories and Chikage's Family Cums Together As One by citowon are two of my faves !! they're hilarious and 10/10 will make you start cackling rolling around in your bed !!!

i'm definitely missing like a million fics, but i very much welcome anyone who would like fic recommendations to ask! i think i can more easily give fic recs for specific likes and favorites...

lastly, a3 writers on ao3 are so good... there's a certain je nais se quoi or whatever that a lot of fic writers on ao3 have, and i really admire all of them! so here's my shortlist of writers you should check out:

floweren for short works that punch you in the gut

augustmishas for gekkagumi/lone wolves that will ruin your life slash positive

RoaringRaina for bansaku always and forever

ryukogo for mukuyuki and summer troupe lovelies (and juligawa)

featherlight221b for kniroun and merlan oh my god merlan

ChetRoi, zhennie, and milgram for ckit, they remain my faves for ckit i think

springtine for sakuya fics i love sakuya

mimiitsu for the chigasaki siblings gotta be one of my favorite genders

ohvictor for some of my favorite itarus ever

AJadeLion for chikage characterization that will make you want to eat drywall /pos

Rioul for absolute god tier autumn troupe fics

evictionaries for banri and masumi fics that will shatter you like glass

derireo for same age troupe shenanigans that i hold close to my heart

Milque for god tier bantai i swear i promise trust me

isuilde for tsuzuomi the tsuzuomi writer ever

Timeskipped for... honestly a lot of stuff!! really really lovely writer

tsuzuruchipalace for ittz.... the best and silliest itatsuzus ever...

you! the fic writer reading this! i wish i could just slap an appreciation post for everyone

not everyone named above still actively writers for a3 anymore but i also want to just like. present some older writers and works cuz u can never go wrong with the classics ykyk

a3 ao3 makes me so happy actually. we got some goodass shit here. please make a revival we gotta come back from the war yall

Mankai March question 21!

Today, let’s talk fanfic! Have you written any A3! fanfiction? Show us your best work! If not, feel free to shout out your favorite authors and fics! Let’s share some recommendations!

[blairpuffs]

im gonna make a list of all me friends with a quick description of them sorry if i forgot you im eepy but i wanna maek funy list, btw i won't tag y'all because this a surprise IF I GETS BURIED ILL CRY /HJ

ok ehre we go

ronnie (the eeper #1)

wiz (the eeper #2)

almond (almond cookie cookie run kingdom)

space (YOUR SOOO NORMAL ABT CANDY DIVER)

kye (likes to eat art)

arthur (PAFL LIKENER)

specs (I THOUGHT UR URL WAS "FRIES-MANGOS-CUTELY"

vespers (i think you like sparkling cookie a. litte bit only /j)

pablo (hi cotc fan)

max (wants to put me in a blender)

emma (my mom /hsrs)

orchid (likes blackpearl x latte so *leans on expensive car /p)

rowan (fellow earlfig liker, hello there)

minx (you are a meow meow /pos)

austin (OMORI LIKER REAL!!!)

robin (eats drywall)

aevan (rare fellow rasplatte enjoyer)

shadow (certified cctv catgirl)

michael (probably put michael afton in a jar)

raspberry (hardcore raspberry kinnie)

moth (YOU LIKE MOTHS. KISSES YOU ON MOUTH /P)

fish (hey my sister thinks your rlly swag)

mint (likes frankenstein)

lorena (YOU WOULD (AFFECTIONATELY) SQUEEZE STINGR GUMMY COOKIE)

btw these are just the ones i talk to ALOT. if i forgot you on my hands and knees sobbing begging for forgiveness

ALSO I NEED MORE FRIENDS. IF YOU WANNA BE MUTUALS TELL ME AND IT WILL HAPPEN

[scenefox2003]

A Day In The Life Of The Royal Babysitter

Aka Marcy is horrible at makeovers, but Andrias peer pressures Olivia into going out like that anyway

Olivia didn’t have a lot of complaints about her life. At least, she wasn’t supposed to. She lived in a lavish castle with a beautiful girlfriend, an adorable surrogate daughter, and all the spending money she could ever dream of. It was pretty much everything a person could want.

But the one thing she’d change…

“Yo Olivia, check this out!” A deep voice bellowed from the hall outside her office, followed by thundering footsteps that shook the entire building.

God damn it, she had TOLD him not to run in the castle!

Olivia groaned and picked up her jostled belongings, and anticipated what ridiculous bullshit she would have to deal with from her boss today. Soon enough King Andrias himself busted down her door, breaking it clean off its hinges. She rubbed her temples, trying to keep her composure.

“Sire, that door was just replaced yesterday,” she said in an even tone, her eye twitching. “Could you please refrain from punching it down?”

Suddenly, a second set of footsteps came pattering down the hall, much quieter but equally as chaotic. Soon Marcy came skidding to a halt in the doorway, eventually toppling over and colliding into Andrias’s massive boot. She shook it off fast though, and started digging in her bag.

“Don’t worry, I gotchu!” She said, pulling out all the necessary supplies to patch the drywall and reinstall the door. She finished the job in about 30 seconds. “There, all fixed up!”

“Thank you Master Marcy,” Olivia said, still not looking up from her work. “Now, do you two have something important to tell me? I’m very busy.”

“What do you think of my new look?” Andrias asked, and Olivia begrudgingly turned around to look. She was going to make an insignificant comment and move on, but upon seeing the king her jaw dropped.

The massive newt was absolutely caked in every sort of glitter, charm, and hair accessory that existed. His beard was braided, dyed with hair chalk, and full of barrettes, his hair was tied back in two pigtails, and he had a massive bow on his head. He was wearing a multitude of bracelets and necklaces, but they looked hilariously skinny since the beads weren’t made for someone his size. His armor was covered in stickers, and to top it all off he had what appeared to be a tutu decorating the tip of his tail.

“Wha… what in the WORLD-“ Olivia stammered, dropping her pen.

“Marcy gave me a makeover! She says this is called “decora” fashion. I think I’m rocking it. Thoughts?”

“I… you look ridiculous, sire.”

“In a /pos or /neg way?”

“What… what does that even mean?”

“Is it good or bad? I think I did pretty good,” Marcy chirped, waiting eagerly for Olivia’s approval.

Truth be told, Andrias looked like a hot mess. If it was just him, Olivia would say so and tell him to go shower. But Marcy looked so excited and eager for her approval… she couldn’t say no to that face.

“It’s… slash… paws? That’s the good one, right?”

“YES!” Marcy and Andrias both cheered.

“I knew you’d love it!” Marcy said. “We went to the mall and bought out ALL of Frog Claire’s! They were having a sale!”

“Frog Claire’s is always having a sale, it’s sort of their business strategy.” Olivia sighed. “Really Andrias, you’re going to the mall while I do all your work for you?”

“I’m too pretty to work,” Andrias said in a high pitched voice, doing the gay hand motion. Both him and Marcy giggled. Suddenly, Marcy’s face lit up with an idea.

“Lady Olivia, we should make YOU too pretty to work too! You seem so tired all the time.”

“You don’t say,” Olivia grumbled, sipping her “juice”.

“You know…” Andrias said, in a teasing tone that let Olivia know she was going to be in for some shit. “If you want a human style makeover, I can take over the constitutional revisions for now.”

Olivia shot him a look that said I know what you’re doing, and I’m not here for it, but Andrias just kept that shit eating grin on his face while Marcy gasped.

“Ohmygosh, that’s a GREAT idea! Lady Olivia’s hair is so beautiful, I wanna style it! Pretty please?”

Marcy gave Olivia her best puppy dog eyes, and she tried her best to resist while Andrias smirked.

“Come on, Olivia. She said pretty please.”

Olivia wished she was big enough to wring his neck.

But Marcy seemed so excited, and the idea of getting Andrias to do work was tempting.

“Oh all right,” she finally said, not able to keep a smile off her face. “It couldn’t hurt.”

Olivia was wrong.

It definitely hurt.

Marcy seemed to forget that hair was attached to a living person’s head, and therefore, when you pulled it, they felt pain. What was meant to be a semi-relaxing break was actually excruciating.

“Could you be a bit more gentle with that?” She asked, trying not to let too much of the pain seep into her voice. Luckily, Marcy immediately let go.

“Oh my gosh, I’m so sorry!” She apologized, then moved on to makeup. Unfortunately, despite being a child prodigy, Marcy had the short term memory of a goldfish. She was back to pulling way too hard about five minutes later.

After an hour or so of hell, Marcy held a mirror up to Olivia.

“Soooo, what do you think?”

Olivia didn’t know what she was expecting, but it definitely wasn’t… that. Her fake was so caked in glitter that she could probably reflect the sun and start a campfire off it if she wanted to. She was wearing so many bracelets she could barely bend her arms, and so many necklaces she felt like she was wearing a neck brace. And her hair… oh, her hair. Marcy seemed to know every braid in existence, and each one showed up at least once in the tendril forest that was her scalp. And every braid had either beads or hair clips in it, so her head made a plastic-y clacking sound if she moved the slightest inch. It was… a disaster. She looked like a clown. But Marcy was smiling brightly, eager to hear what she thought.

“It’s um… it’s certainly something special!”

Marcy grinned.

“I know right?! You guys look AMAZING! I can’t wait for General Yunan to get home tonight so I can give HER a makeover!”

Olivia felt like she had just been hit by a bus.

“Wait. Yunan’s coming home… TONIGHT?!”

“Yeah, it’s May 10th! That was her deadline for hunting that rogue toad, remember?”

“I might have, uh… pulled an all nighter or two…”

Marcy gasped.

“Lady Olivia! You haven’t slept in three days?!”

“I had a lot of work to do, and it’s not like anyone else is gonna help me!”

“I would’ve…”

Olivia smiled.

“That’s very sweet of you, Master Marcy. I’ll have to take you up on that offer sometime. But Yunan and I have a date tonight, so-“

“Well it’s a good thing you’re hair and makeup is already done then! You’re gonna knock her socks off!”

It took everything in Olivia not to cringe.

“I’m sure I will,” she said, and it wasn’t a lie. Yunan was sure to be absolutely floored when she saw her. “Now, um, I need to go speak with Andrias before Yunan arrives, I’ll see you later.”

Luckily, Marcy didn’t try to follow her or ask questions.

“Okeydoke! Bye Lady Olivia! Have fun on your date!”

Olivia waved goodbye then hurried down the corridor to Andrias’s room.

Andrias was lounging on his bed (still wearing the outfit, for some reason) reading some self-help book when Olivia barged in, frantic.

“Woah, what’s got you in such a rush?” He asked, and Olivia shut the door quickly.

“I have a date tonight and need to wash this shit off, and your private bathroom is the only one I know for sure Marcy won’t catch me in!”

Andrias simply laughed.

“What are you talking about? We look great.”

“No offense, sire, but a thirteen year old girl used your beard as a styling head. It doesn’t look good.”

“Speak for yourself!”

“Fine, I will! If I go out like this Yunan will tease me for the rest of our lives, but I don’t want to crush Marcy’s heart by letting her know her makeover skills are atrocious. There, you happy?”

“Aww, you think you and Yunan are going to be together forever? How adorably naive.” Andrias primly closed his book, ready to give a lecture. “You see, over my thousand years of experience I’ve come to learn that love is fake-“

Olivia grumbled and opened the bathroom door.

“Good lord, just get over yourself and let me fix this in peace- oh.”

She immediately felt like the dumbest bitch alive. This was Andrias’s bathroom. Every single appliance was way too big for her.

“Having any luck in there?” Andrias teased, and Olivia facepalmed.

“God fucking damn it.”

“You know, maybe this is a sign.”

“It is definitely not a sign.”

“Why don’t you just-“

“I’m not going out like this. There is nothing you can say to convince me.” Andrias smirked. “I’m telling you, Andrias, there is absolutely NOTHING-“

“What if I did all your work for a whole week?”

Olivia paused.

“…would you?”

Andrias shrugged.

“Yeah, why not?”

“Well technically, my work is all your work that you don’t want me to do. You’re really telling me that you’d finally get off your ass and be a good king just to see me humiliate myself in front of my girlfriend?”Andrias smiled that shit eating grin of his. Olivia facepalmed. “…Of course. You’re a sick bastard, Andrias.”

“I know! Now go run along to your little date. Don’t want to keep Yunan waiting!”

Olivia, having completely abandoned all proper etiquette by now, flipped him off.

Yunan was late, as she often was. Despite being a very punctual person herself, Olivia didn’t usually mind. But sitting alone for twenty minutes in a fancy restaurant looking like that was rather embarrassing. Unfortunately the garish makeup did nothing to disguise her, and she could hear plenty of whispering from other patrons, asking why on earth Lady Olivia would go out looking so bizarre.

Just as she was about to leave and look for Yunan herself, the door was ceremoniously slapped open as Yunan was known to do. But she didn’t obnoxiously introduce herself as she normally did, or march proudly down the center of the room like it was a red carpet. She looked like she had just been drowned in a swamp, covered in leaves and debris and sopping wet. She dragged herself over to Olivia’s table and plopped herself down in a chair with a wet squelch.

“Hey Liv,” she mumbled, sounding like she hadn’t slept in years.

“Greetings, General,” Olivia said, sounding just as tired. “How did the mission go?”

“Normal.” Yunan looked Olivia up and down for a second, but had no reaction. “How are things at the castle?”

“Normal.”

The two newts sat in silence for a solid minute.

“We look ridiculous, don’t we?” Yunan eventually sighed. Olivia nodded lethargically. Another long stretch of silence went by before she added, “fuck it, wanna go rot in the hot tub for eight hours straight?”

“Oh god please.”