#they make me feel like im a teen on early facebook again
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Again,m sorry for the long post, but wow thank you for tagging me :3 <3
last song- A song downloaded to my phone from a mix CD my best friend in high School made me. Titled in my phone as "Track 03" Artist Unknown! I've never looked it up, I kind of like it just being a surprise on my shuffle. Makes me think of my friend!!
favorite color- Purple in any shade, though current best is like a specific kind of bright lavender (a bit more blue toned than the shade you are thinking right now), Periwinkle, and Mint! (Together all three of them give this glow in the dark effect)
last book i finished- Riddler: Year One
last show i watched- Grace and Frankie is currently playing in another tab XD
spicy/sweet/savory- I'm too Taurus to answer this, por que no los tres? (These are al the good flavors)
relationship- It's weird to write this but I'm single
last thing i googled- "October 21, 2024"
current obsession- Stardew Valley, My own emotions, Crochet, Patterning, Being comforted in specific ways by fictional characters of my choosing, Peppermint
looking forward to- Figuring out what's next, I guess :3
Tagging: @swarbie-blog @standard-human @whispering-rayn @cowchickenbeefpork @jasminepixie @whispering-rayn and anyone else <3
10 people i’d like to get to know better
tagged by @bubonicbabybell <3
Last song: meat is murder by the smiths
favorite color: orange 🍊
last book i finished: bliss montage
last tv show i watched: supernatural (s12)
sweet/spicy/savory: savory? i honestly dont have a preference
relationship status: single
last thing i googled: stardew valley wiki 💀
current obsession: dead poets society + the sims 4
looking forward to: halloween! and nanowrimo
tagging > @laceyc0bwebs @thelifeofagirl @chiiiiiiiiiiiiiii (i have no other mutuals and am lowkey scared to tag people i follow so sorry this is supposed to be 10)
#long post#very long post#tag game#these are fun#they make me feel like im a teen on early facebook again#X3
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So are you a radfem or are you thirsting for girlcock? You are so all over with your posts are you pro-woman or pro-trans?
It has been like 2 years since I claimed the radfem label, I think they have a lot of really regressive ideas about horror and horror is my special interest as an autistic person and I really can't handle people who try to moralize fiction instead of calling their local precincts in a phone-bank situation and demanding that the untested rape kits be run or writing letters to women in prison/visiting elderly women in nursing homes, running drives for supplies for single mothers, escorting at a clinic, anything that takes more effort than going "that art that was made to be disturbing is disturbing so anybody who interacts with it or appreciates any aspect of it as art is immoral and a bad feminist". Like Yeah I like early Lucifer Valentine movies because they were a major part of my teen years and as a bulimic I relate to them in a weird way but Ive also volunteered as a clinic escort 3 times this year for a 7 hour shift in the freezing cold and last time I was in the hospital took both a girl who had never been before and was just 18 under my wing and protected her from the heroin fuckboys and also an older woman who was half-lucid I would personally go to her room when there was a meal or activity to make sure she didn't get left behind and we bonded over liking VC Andrews and she called me her "bonus granddaughter" by the time I was discharged, and then I called her twice a week until she was discharged and we lost touch. Can yall who judge me say that you've done as much? What are you actually doing for women if you are wasting time moralizing fiction?
Also i consider gender dysphoria to be a mental illness, which I personally have, I am detransitioned. I don't want people who have cocks in some of my private spaces but Im also a strong believer that we need to create 3rd sex safe spaces and cis-free spaces for trans people to be safe in. But im not "sucking girlcock" (im guessing you are a "rudefem" or whatever) by trying to be inclusive when I can be and treat everybody with dignity and basic respect regardless of their gender. I don't like making people feel bad because Im not trying to put myself in the place of the bullies who hurt me in my teens to feel better, it doesn't make me feel good to point out ways trans women don't pass or misgender them on purpose. When I feel as if I've hurt somebody's feelings, I feel bad. I don't have this hatred for trans people that a lot of the radfem community professes, another reason why I stopped identifying with the community. Again, when I was in the hospital, everybody under 20 was trans. I protected those kids FIRECLY. I corrected the old people immediately when they misgendered them ("You're so silly, Mr. Smith, Aiden is a boy, he just has a young face") and we had a lot of really great conversations about dysphoria which one of them later contact me on facebook and said I gave them the courage to detransition.
Im not trying to post "consistent" politics because I disagree with and agree with different aspects of most political issues and I don't owe anybody consistency. This is my personal vent blog Im not running for office. Ralph Waldo Emmerson wrote, "A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds, adored by little statesmen and philosophers and divines. With consistency a great soul has simply nothing to do. He may as well concern himself with his shadow on the wall. Speak what you think now in hard words, and to-morrow speak what to-morrow thinks in hard words again, though it contradict every thing you said to-day. — 'Ah, so you shall be sure to be misunderstood.' — Is it so bad, then, to be misunderstood? Pythagoras was misunderstood, and Socrates, and Jesus, and Luther, and Copernicus, and Galileo, and Newton, and every pure and wise spirit that ever took flesh. To be great is to be misunderstood." I think that sums it up better than I could.
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3 months until I'm done college and I've been getting so overwhelmed with how much that symbolizes my late teens to early adulthood being over and it's like!!! good cause I'm 23 and all my peers have already graduated cause I fell behind academically a couple of times but its also scary and it's also deeply sad for reasons I dont understand
I was first on campus a year before I went to college when an ex boyfriend paid me to host an event that was 3 hours long and I was only paid 30 euro. it was dark cause it was winter and I told him he could kiss me if he wanted when we were at the graveyard
(he didnt)
during first year of college I was desperate to make friends and ended up in this really bad crowd and was like tangentially related to some really strange goings on there were facebook meme pages made about it. I found them again yesterday and it was strange
in second year I got into college debating and was an asshole. I did do weird things in student houses and I did cry in every public bathroom in town. there was also strange pictures about it posted in various Facebook groups.
in my first third year I spiralled until the pandemic hit i lost my job and then spiralled some more. I only passed the first half of that year
in my second third year I worked through it at a horrible place in a really nice part of town. then I did well in my exams. then I got a new job that was even worse in a worse part of town, but I was manager
this first semester I've had such a nice time until I got sick with covid,I've really had a lovely few months
whats hardest to articulate and Express is theres so many people I've felt like I've already put in the ground and now by leaving college I feel like I'm burying them. they're never going to say sorry to me first and im never going to get to say sorry second.
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( choi yeonjun, cis man ) have you seen MICHAEL “MIKE” MOON ? i heard HE is a COMPUTER SCIENCE MAJOR at SAN VERTO COLLEGE and an EMPLOYEE at HALL OF FILM. they’re 22 years old and they’ve been living in san verto for 6 YEARS. they tend to be CARE-FREE & ADVENTUROUS, but rumor has it they can also be GRUMPY & CLUMSY. [ tally, 25, gmt+4, she/her ] @foolsstarters
tw // mentions of depression, cheating, divorce, underage drinking and smoking
michael moon, born myungjun moon –– choi yeonjun fc
birthday: september 9, 1998 - 22 yrs old ; virgo
cis man, he/him, bisexual
born and raised in philadelphia, pennsylvania
mike grew up being an only child, and always around the company of his mother in their house. his father was always traveling back and forth from south korea to the states for work. his parents have met at work on one of his father’s trips to the states, and they fell in love. his mother being american-born, she couldn’t really leave philadelphia. she loved it there. so they decided to keep it a long distance relationship.
sometime during those fleeting meetings, she had gotten pregnant with michael. and of course, his father spoiled them both, giving them everything they wanted. he never left them to fend for themselves. when the boy was born, his father named him myungjun, and his mother decided to name him michael for his english name. the nicknames jun, mike, and sometimes junnie were often heard whenever his parents or childhood friends called him.
up until mike was five years old in 2004, he’s lived with his mother, while his father was leaving and coming back for a week or two. but that year, he’s finally moved to the states and stayed with them for longer nights. he even finally married michael’s mother. of course, he still disappeared for a few days or weeks on end for work.
but that was also the year michael’s mother found out that her husband was with another woman. michael has never seen his mother break down like that before. sadly, the young boy was peering into the room when the fight happened and witnessed everything. his mother made her partner choose between the two women, and he eventually told her that he was going to divorce his first wife for her, and appeared to have gone through with his promise. because after that incident, he’s been around more often.
by early 2015, when michael had just turned 16, his mother had gotten a teaching job in ashdown academy, which resulted in their move to san verto, california. meaning, new school and new friends for mike. meanwhile, his dad was still traveling a lot for business and coming back whenever he could.
michael has grown up as a cheerful and energetic child. his friends at any school he went to would tell you how much of a great friend he is, how trustworthy and caring he is. it was so easy for him to make friends anywhere. he was the type of friend who would smile at you and listen to you talk on and on about whatever you liked, and the type who would cheer you on with anything you want to achieve. he wanted everyone to feel included and loved.
so it wasn’t that hard for him to get along with new people once he moved to town. he was a very social person.
he was also the type of teenager who was out there doing things he wasn’t supposed to. he missed his old friends and his old home, but he wanted to have fun with all the new kids he was befriending. that simply resulted in him going to house parties as an underaged teen to ‘have fun’. his mother didn’t approve of him coming home very late at night, clearly smelling like smoke and alcohol.
internally he was a depressed mess. of course, no one is completely happy as they grow up. his family was a mess, even if it appeared as fine to everyone else. his family life affected him so much while growing up. mike sometimes could disappear for a few days in his room, and it was always during some of his bad spells.
what made it worse was the day he found out the truth.
it was 2017 when michael walked into his father’s office in their house, looking for him to ask him about something. and instead of finding the man, he found a stack of papers poking from underneath his father’s laptop. upon closer look, they appeared to be divorce papers. michael’s heart sunk, thinking his parents were breaking it off.
michael is a curious kid, he couldn’t help but close the door and read the papers. but what he saw wasn’t his mother’s name, it was another woman. his heart raced, as he put things back where they were and immediately left the room. michael had found out one of his father’s many secrets. he never divorced his first wife all those years ago. he lied and somehow stayed with both women without suspicion... well, until now. clearly the other woman was breaking it off for a reason.
michael couldn’t help his curiosity. he came back to the room later that night and snapped as many pictures as he could of evidence he could find. he even found his father’s phone (which was easy to figure out the password of) and found a plethora of pictures of the man with a different family, different kids and a different partner. he airdropped the pictures to himself to avoid leaving any traces behind and quickly left again.
a quick search on facebook, and he managed to find the first wife. it was easy with the name and pictures he had. if anything, michael prided himself on being a good internet detective... or stalker. he spent everyday trying to find the rest of the family on the internet. he found the woman’s young daughter on instagram and twitter, along with her older son’s accounts as well. it felt weird. it was a constant “now what?” for michael. he’s found them. what was he going to do now? he couldn’t just message them and tell them everything. and he couldn’t break his mother’s heart by letting her know.
except he had to let her know. he could never live with the fact that he knew his father was betraying her this entire time. and so michael told her everything, and after comforting her all night when she broke down yet again, she immediately ended things and asked for a divorce. now it was just michael and his mother, all alone. and for once, having to get by on their own.
thankfully they were safe, with his mother’s amazing money management skills, and the job she got at the academy, they managed to live their regular lives despite the heavy feeling of a broken family looming around them. the two just wanted to be happy again.
michael spent the next few years trying to lead a normal life. his mental health had gotten worse after everything he’s found out. he went to college, and he continued trying to do well in school. he really wasn’t the best when it came to grades, but he was trying his best.
and truthfully, he couldn’t help but make a few spare accounts on some social medias to follow his father’s other family.
but he eventually decided to just let it go, assuming they definitely knew about his mother and himself, which would explain the first divorce. so he decided to put it in the past and move on.
his mother has moved on as well. she found herself someone who actually cares about her so much (mike’s stupid ass has done a secret background check to make sure this dude wasn’t another cheater lmaoo) and now mike isn’t an only child anymore. it’s been 2 years since his little sister yuna was born, and he loves her so much. he still isn’t used to the idea of a new fatherly figure in his life, but he’s.... getting there.
little dumb hcs
mike majors in computer science at san verto college, with a concentration in game development and design
hes a lil gamer boy,,, u KNOW he’s that annoying dude with a gamer chair that has a sound system in it khjkh
he posted a few videos on youtube but rly just ditched the channel after like a month. he still posts whenever he feels like it tho and it’s usually just.... messy gaming videos or opinions no one asked for
his dad’s dumb ass still doesn’t know it was mike who exposed him to his mother. he thinks she found the divorce papers on her own. therefore.... mike still gets money from his dad on a monthly basis and gets to keep the car he bought him for his 18th birthday lmaooooo a win
you probably heard me say this before but.... theres a hc that mike is allergic to eggs. simply bc the idea of him shopping in the vegan section is funny to me
this boy has a love for frogs ? idk where the obsession came from but you bet you’re gonna see a cute lil frog sticker on everything he owns. he doodles them on everything too ? it’s a habit at this point. he also knows random little facts about them and tells them to anyone who didnt ask for them
. embarrassing but.. this dude... omg.... a big sana stan.... he has a photocard collection.... he went to a twice concert like 5 times.... dont be surprised if you see a feel special sana photocard in his phonecase.... im embarrassed of him
he also has a hyunjin mcdonalds hashbrown photocard framed that a friend gave to him for christmas bc.. it’s a rare card,,, and you can see it on a table by the door when you walk into his apartment 😭
mike also has a habit of buying things he doesn’t need ?? he has a plushie collection that has been growing since he was young, and now is getting bigger with the rise of squishmallows
there’s this random hc where he drunk bought a cardboard cutout of john cena ,,,, don’t ask,,, it’s currently guarding his room back at his mom’s house djfhdj
can you tell mike is my most embarrassing , most chaotic character,,
also he moved out after graduating school and when he started to attend college,,,, gimme some roomies pls
connection ideas ??
michael’s childhood friends; could’ve gone to the same school back in philly before he moved away ??
friends he made when he moved to town?? mike is very social and was... kinda popular in school, i’d say. he made friends with basically anyone he found interesting
michael’s ex; they could’ve ended on a bad note, or even on a good one and ended up being friends. im really up for plotting anything.
michael’s best friend; PLEASE i love wholesome best friend plots. it doesn’t matter if they met in san verto or philly
roomies pls !!! i would love it if he could have some roommates who have to deal with his very . peculiar decorating habits
co workers ?? customers ? regulars ? he works at hall of film !
like this to plot or hmu !
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1143
survey by brock-checkitout
Do you like cheese? Yeah but not to an obsessive extent like most people on the internet seem to be. I have a lower tolerance when it comes to cheeses with stronger or more pungent flavors, and I like sticking to those on the creamy side, like feta and burrata.
What type of shampoo do you use? Dove.
Do turtles make you happy? I mean not as much as dogs would but they are animals, so encountering one would still make me giddy and happy :)))
Name one person who snores in their sleep. Both of my parents, which is why I used to dread whenever we’d book a trip and there’s only one main room available for the 5 of us.
Would you walk around a grocery store with a bra as glasses? Sure, if I was gonna do it for like a cause or something. Or if I got paid for it. I can’t imagine why I’d ever have to casually/randomly do it. Also how would that even work, if it actually had to work as glasses???
Can you do the HoeDown ThrowDown? That movie came out when we were in the midst of moving houses and everything was super hectic in my little 10 year old life, so I never got to wach it, actually. I missed out on the whole Hoedown Throwdown craze and I distinctly remember jealously watching over my classmates as they danced it together.
Do you like Hershey's Chocolate bars? Just the cookies and cream variant.
What smiley face do you use the most? :) I very rarely use others.
What type of cell phone do you have? I have an iPhone 8.
Do you listen to rap? Not so much. For the most part, I stick to my tried and tested albums, like Jay-Z and Kanye’s Watch the Throne.
Look at something green, does it have batteries in it? That would be a nearby alcohol bottle, and no, it does not need batteries.
What's the first thing that comes to your mind when I say: PRINTER? Ink and paper.
What is the last cuss word you said out loud? Not so sure, but since I commonly say shit and fuck they could serve as safe enough guesses.
Do you like cows? Sure.
What kind of car does your mother drive? These days we split ‘my’ car between us since we sold our third car, which used to be the one she’d usually drive. The new arrangement used to bug me at first because it meant I now had to notify my mom in advance whenever I planned to drive out, but I’ve since gotten used to the setup.
What do you get in your tacos? I don’t eat tacos. Not that I dislike them; there are just many other Mexican dishes I find more filling.
What is your opinion on blueberries? As a flavor, it’s fine. But I actually tried an actual blueberry for the very first time last week when my aunt sent over a blueberry cheesecake - I really wanted to give it a chance, but I still found it nasty :( I really don’t know why I hate fruits so much lmao.
Are you currently wearing lip gloss/chap stick? Nopes.
Is there a bottle of lotion near you? There isn’t.
Name one person that you know that smokes. Sam smokes superexcessively. Like I’ve completely forgotten how much she can smoke in an evening until I hung out with her again a few weeks ago. It was half impressive and half terrifying; and my clothes ended up smelling because of it.
What's your favorite season? We don’t have the usual four seasons, but based on what I’ve seen in media, spring and winter look and feel the most pleasant to me.
Are any of your friends vegetarians? No.
What is one phrase that you hate hearing? “All lives matter” really pisses me off.
Can you name four presidents right now? Rodrigo Duterte, Ramon Magsaysay, Fidel Ramos, Diosdado Macapagal. But because I’m guessing this meant American presidents...George W. Bush, John F. Kennedy, Andrew Jackson, Harry Truman.
What is the first thing you think of when I say: HOOD? A jacket.
Do you currently own a cat? Nope.
What do you think of Ulta? I think of the fact that I’ve never heard of that before and I don’t actually know what this is referring to.
Have you ever walked into a club and asked for a Coke? No.
Do you like classical music? Sure, some.
What is your opinion on Oreos? I had the biscuits like a billion times as a kid to the point that I got sick of them. I will always pick the Oreo flavor in other desserts though, be it cheesecake, cupcake, cookies, milkshakes, tc.
Do you like Chips-Ahoy? No, tastes too artificial/processed. I’ll always go for freshly-baked cookies.
What did ya think of this survey? It was fine. I *think* I haven’t taken this before either, so that’s a plus lol.
--
survey by carolynnnnonia
1. What time did you wake up this morning? Around 6:30ish.
2. When did you take your default picture? It’s not a photo of me, it’s a still from BoJack Horseman. Years ago I saw someone on Twitter use it as a default and I found it hilarious, so I decided to do the same thing for this blog.
3. Are you hungry? Mmm not so much right now actually. I had a midnight snack that I only got to finish by like 2 AM so I still feel pretty filled.
4. Have you ever cheated on a test? Yup but just once. When I ended up perfecting the exam I cheated on, I felt like a fraud and I’ve never cheated since. I’d rather get an honest 99 than get a 100 that I’m ashamed of, lol.
5. When was the last time you ate ice cream? I think it had been last week when we had a cookies and cream tub in the fridge.
6. What computer game is in your CPU? I don’t play PC games and it’s been a hoooooot minute since I’ve seen a CPU.
7. Do you like Audrey Hepburn? You’ve come to the right person :))) Yup, obsessed. Have watched her entire filmography except for the ones that are impossible to find DVDs of or online.
8. What color is your winter jacket?
9. Do you have any siblings? Yup.
10. Would you call yourself skinny? Not anymore. I’ve filled up a bit over the last few years but I’m still usually seen as thin. I was a lot skinnier in my teens.
11. Does your phone take pictures? Yes, 2008 survey, it does.
12. Who is your favorite neighbor? They’re not really neighbors, but the construction workers who are currently working on a new house from across ours are crazy over Cooper and love to greet him and give him a few pats when I take him out. My actual neighbors are rather quiet and we tend to keep to ourselves.
13. Do you wish at 11:11? No.
14. Have you ever gotten a detention? We don’t have detention here.
15. Do you still watch Disney Channel? Nah, we took out our cable last year because no one was using it anymore. And I doubt there’s anything watchable on Disney Channel for a twentysomething?? Lmao I usually stick to the shows and movies I grew up with, so.
16. Who did you last IM? Angela.
17. Who is your least favorite teacher? Whoever hated me for no reason in middle and high school. Then in college, I had to power through a misogynist, sexist, delusional Duterte-supporting professor for an entire semester as well.
18. What were you doing six hours ago? I was winding down and watching Good Mythical Morning videos to eventually doze off.
19. What is your ringtone? Just the default iPhone ones.
20. Does your door have a dead bolt on it? I had to look this up haha but yeah.
21. Have you ever been to a show? Like, a live shooting of a show? Hmm....I don’t remember ever going to one yet. I remember being invited to one because they needed seat fillers, but I had school at the time and was never available on the day of the shoot.
22. What are some details about your first kiss? Innocent, pure. Even though that person ended up disappointing me, I don’t regret having my first kiss with them.
23. What college do you want to attend/currently attend? I went to UP.
24. Have you had any soda today? No and I most likely won’t.
25. What is your favorite scary movie? Carrie, The Shining, and Evil Dead are some good ones.
26. Do you own a Wii? We used to and it was a big part of my late childhood to my early teens. We had thrown it out years ago, though, because it stopped working.
27. Did you wear shorts today? I currently am wearing shorts, yeah, and I plan on wearing shorts for the rest of the day.
28. Anything fun happening this weekend? There’s an official Kim Seonho fanmeet happening tonight on Facebook and I’m so excited for it lmaaaaaaoooo
29. What shoes did you wear today? One of my sneakers.
30. What is your favorite type of Pop Tart? We only get 5 flavors here in the Philippines, but my favorite is the chocolate fudge one.
31. Do you subscribe to any magazines? Nope.
32. What was the last television show you watched? I didn’t watch it on TV, but I watched a few clips from this show called Caught in Providence on Facebook. I have such a soft spot for that show.
33. Do you know any other languages? If I’m not speaking in English, I use Filipino, yes.
34. Are you wearing anything green? No.
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to tag on to that post that’s like “why am i nostalgic for my teen years??? bitch i didnt even have fun!!!!” that i’ve reblogged probably in the last few months (im too lazy to go back through my blog to find it if i have, leave me be) .... i think some of the reasons im nostalgic for my teens years are the following:
- no real responsibilities other than homework and assignments that i barely ever did from years 7-10
- i feel like time went so fucking fast (courtesy of some of my old fb memories posts in various months during 2012 and 2013) that i just wasnt prepared to be in my early teens & 20s- let alone to my mid 20s so fucking soon.
- there was a solid routine in the morning of each term- get up at 6:45am, wash my face and skin care stuff, then straighten my fringe (or sometimes all of my hair, halfheartedly), tie my hair up and have my breakfast etc etc etc. then leave for school
- despite all my jokes about being a Useless Failure Of A Human Being™️ when i left school or whatever, i did have a genuine hope underneath it all that i’d some day hopefully be successful (even if my facebook posts from year 10 to year 12 (ie 2011-2013) weren’t very good tbh).
- oh yeah NO PANDEMIC
- it was ~actually fun~ being an unabashed emo/scene kid lmao- no matter how much i cringe at 12-16yo me’s peak All Time Low Phase™️
- again time just zipped the fuck by and i was suddenly in business college and then uni and then fuck. i had a mental breakdown in postgrad bc it was too much work and pressure and fuck how do i cope. i kinda felt like i’d reached a point, like a stunted point in my emotional growth or whatever once i hit my 20s bc i went through so much stuff in the last 3 years of high school and then some other shit all before age 20 really hit.
- also like. instagram and snapchat weren’t huge so we took loads of corny unedited emo kid photos, but also did edit some of them with shitty 2008/09 nintendo dsi filters or photobucket filters for myspace. like we were actually allowed to be cringy asf and not be instagram/snapchat flawless for a bunch of followers on a constant basis. like yes my haircuts were awful and i do cringe at the stupid poses i did in some of my photos with my friends. but still. we got to have FUN.
- you could look like a fucking hot mess with your makeup. like yes there was a bit of pressure to learn proper makeup, obvs. but generally it was almost like.... like the more of a hot mess you looked, the better. because you were allowed to make mistakes with it. but thank god it wasn’t the level of the YT beauty gurus “baking their face” and whatever other irritating names they can come up with for new techniques.... and having to know exactly what the fuck that is and having to buy $75 setting spray so your face that’s full of $250 or more worth of makeup never falls off your face. i mean, come on! shine bright like a cheeto in your incredibly mismatched maybelline foundation which said it was matte, fuck damn it, but it’s making you look shiny!!!! you can use your strawberry lemonade lip smacker balm as blush to cover up the shiny bits??? but who cares??!! it’s 2000 and fucking 9 babey!!!
but now, if you don’t have an almost professional level of expertise/knowledge and lot of makeup stuff, then it’s a monstrosity. a mistake. what are you? how do you NOT know what baking is in regards to makeup? you fool! no! we don’t care if you’re 14! YOU HAVE TO KNOW CASSANDRA! YOU! HAVE! TO! KNOW! now spend 163863733 hours on youtube to revise your know how and skills, so then you do your makeup better than fredia, who doesn’t EVEN KNOW what blush is and how to apply it. i mean how embarrassing 🙄??? am i right?! YOU DONT KNOW WHAT A LIP KIT IS AND WHY YOU NEED IT??? SICKENING. DISGUSTING. YOU HEATHEN. also please spend $100 at sephora on a kylie jenner mega lip kit, boo!!! you do you!!! but if you make a mistake during applying anything in the lip kit or on the rest of your face, EVERYONE WILL KNOW!!! anyway, you get the picture.
like yeah high school did fucking suck for me like it did/does for basically everyone... but god it was much better having a sense of routine in the morning and having at least a minor glimmer of hope that i’d hopefully get somewhere eventually. but that’s all been upended completely by covid and self-isolation. my routine has been out of wack for the past month, with the pandemic rising again in victoria and also in new south wales, with restrictions resetting and stuff again in NSW and vic, like.... will i ever get a job (no matter what is is) in the fucked aussie economy?? just who the fuck knows??? uncertainty sucks.
and also i generally don’t know how to keep to schedule without some 3rd party entity like uni to help. like i miss the structure of on campus study bc i didn’t really have to set that myself, in a way, bc the uni scheduled the classes for the profs in the subjects i had. and i followed the same schedule of doing my face and hair etc every day that i went to uni. but now that’s gone as well.
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Misogyny in the Anime Community
I can’t even really believe that I have to type this shit but I guess life is full of surprises. Follow my trip down a fucking gigantic shithole.
THIS IS A LOT LONGER THAN I EXPECTED AND IM SORRY. BUT PLEASE READ IT. IN MY OPINION IT IS AN IMPORTANT MATTER. DONT IGNORE DAILY HARASSMENT OF WOMEN ONLINE.
Since I’m a very sociable girl and I love Anime and I love love love the Tumblr-Anime-Community (except for some minor things but nothing’s perfect y’know) and so I decided to join some local Facebook-Anime-Groups.
I was happy to gain new information about Anime and I was willing to throw myself into heated discussions about my favorite characters and shows. What I got instead was a shitbunch of misogyny and hatred towards “realistic female characters” that didn’t act like the **waifuuu** these guys wanted so badly.
From the start I haven’t been as active in this groups as I was here on Tumblr. I didn’t interact as much even though I really tried to get into it something just put me off. Firstly, this was a men dominated group - like 85% AT LEAST were guys in their late teens up to early twenties and they all loved some good smashes in Anime and some hot girls with super big tits (there were even polls about which Anime girls more dudes would like to fuck or something). That was something that I could tolerate - I mean who am I to judge right? I, myself love me some hot pics of my favorite Anime boys and girls so no problem right?
Unfortunately not. Most of the comments in these section were about what this men would do to this girl if they could have their way with her and I tell you what: these men are fucking disgusting. Actually using the word “rape” and “Taking advantage of” etc. in this context is in my opinion not okay. Especially when there are minors in this group (their parents probably failed to keep them under check because this group is not for minors).
I still don’t know why I didn’t immediately leave the group (probably because there were like 5 good posts per month or because I wanted a daily reminder of how shitty men can be - of course not all men and women too!)
Today I was refreshing my facebook page when said group popped up with a picture of one of my favorite Anime - NANA by Ai Yazawa. If you’re not familiar with it and don’t want to be spoiled then skip the next paragraph (I’ll try to not really spoil the plot only the relevant things? idk).
NANA is a slice-of-life Anime about two girls named Nana, but one of them is frequently called Hachi and I’ll refer to her as Hachi. It’s a very mature and in my opinion realistic Anime and Manga when it comes to the plot and the actions of the characters. And the two female main characters - god forbid - have sex. Nana - presumably - has Sex with only one guy. Hachi on the other hand has sexual intercourse with a few different men. Which is okay and normal - HA! That’d what actual intelligent people would say, but not the dudes from this group.
This one guy decided to watch NANA and I still don’t know how he even thought it would be a good idea to watch it because it’s about female empowerment and about finding your own path in this world as a girl and about even more but it always comes down to: females.
And what happened to be popping up on my facebook page was this (I added ugly translations but so all of you understand):
At first I had to google what “Sharmuta” even means, but at first look I knew it wouldn’t be something like “brave young woman”. I looked it up and - surprise - it means slut, skank, hoe, hooker, whatever term you prefer. You get it.
Not only is NANA my most treasured Anime/Manga, I’m also a girl who hates being told how to live my life. Especially when I’m told by men who 1. don’t know me 2. think women should hide in the kitchen learning recipes until their unknown husband picks them up to get them pregnant. Ok that was a little over the top but you know what I mean.
Naturally I felt attacked. I felt attacked because this is one of the works I truly admire and because the reason I love it so much is because of the complex and realistic relationships. I love that it’s not this “ugh I’m a virgin waiting for my prince”-trope. I love that there are female characters who embrace their sexuality and needs because that’s what I struggled with for so long. It portrays strong women who make mistakes (like everyone does) but they stand up for themselves and they own their mistakes and learn to live with them in the best way possible. It helped me find peace with my body and mind and showed me that it’s okay to live as you please. You don’t need to be ashamed of anything and the last thing you should be ashamed of is who and how you love and that it’s not shameful to enjoy sex or anything involved with sex. It’s okay for women to still their sexual needs.
So - of course I had to speak up. I think I knew from the beginning that this would be useless but I just felt so infuriated that a men can openly slutshame a character that stands for female empowerment (correct me if I’m wrong, but this was my feeling?).
FROM HERE ON I’LL POST THE TRANSLATION UNDER THE PIC BC OF SIZE REASONS AND I DONT WANT ANYONE TO THINK I MANIPULATED WHAT I OR HE SAID so whatever
Cucumber Guy: ok ...
Star Girl (me): I had to look this word up on google and the definition I found (slut) is - in my opinion - 100% not fitting. I’m sorry, but to call a girl who enjoys her sexuality and tries different things a slut is just wrong imo. What makes NANA such a masterpiece are the realistic dynamics and constellations between the characters and the lack of perfection. Hachi is not a slut and to call her that just shows your strange view of women. Of course, everyone can do as they like - but in this time and age it is so important to support girls in their decisions and to not always degrade them and question their every move. Stop slutshaming (even if it’s only a fictional character) : - )
Mr-Know-It-All: This text only shows me that you can identify with her as a charcter ... maybe you even feel like I was talking to you but sorry - a person like this (with such a foul character) is nothing you can make appear good
Mr-Know-It-All: Nothing but the truth.
Star Girl (me): to be honest I expected something like this as an answer. I think it’s horrifying how much misogyny hides behind your words and is something that’s completely unnecessary in todays society. Reality will get to you soon enough and you’ll realize that women have needs and there is no reason for you to judge that. Because I know that I can’t convince you otherwise I’ll just save my energy for something else : - )
Mr-Know-It-All: I don’t know if I should laugh or cry. Don’t try so hard to defend yourself or that illusion you have. That you even said “how much misogyny hides behind your statement” is ridiculous. If someone has seen the Anime and then reads your comments about it he has to pity you no matter what. Our society is damaged and that you think behavior like this is normal shows truly what you are.
Mr-Know-It-All: For people who read “this discussion” without knowing the Anime. Just watch it (it’s a good show). But just so you understand: SPOILER: This ******** has an affair with a married an (for a long time period) ... and that’s only the beginning XD XD it only gets better.
SO, to break this down again:
- at first he assumes I identify with this character and that would make me a slut too so .. my opinion is not really valid right?
- I try to reason with him one more time even though I already saw him as a lost cause and he then proceeds to tell me (put bluntly) that my point of view is what’s wrong with society.
- he then tries to justify his opinion by slutshaming the character even further
Maybe you don’t see a problem with this. Maybe you think I overreacted, but to be honest: I’m fed up. I’m fed up about being told that I’m only worth something if I’m “pure and innocent” - whatever that means! I’m so fed up with men like him degrading women because of their decisions and actions. Why are men allowed to make mistakes, to learn from their mistakes and to move on - but women have to be haunted by theirs for the rest of their life and through all eternity? And maybe - just maybe - someone doesn’t even see having an affair with a married man as a mistake and if they don’t IT’S NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS TO COMPLAIN. Women’s lifes do not belong to men. We are not something you can dictate however you want. We live. We feel. Sometimes we need things even though we know they are bad for us. We do things that we know can get us in trouble. We are human and it’s heartbreaking to see how many men still don’t get the idea that women can live a life on their own. That they don’t need someone to overlook their every move.
I want the Anime Community to be open-minded, to be inclusive to everyone. I want everyone to feel welcome and safe. And even though there are often discourses - let’s handle them the classy way. I want to feel welcomed no matter what my sexuality is or how often I have sex or how much I admire a sex positive character. Sex positivity is so important, especially for young women, so let’s work hard together to make it something that’s okay. Okay to be talked about. Okay to be admired. And also okay to not be practiced since it’s not for everyone but that is also okay.
#nana#nana anime#nana manga#nana komatsu#hachi komatsu#nana ozaki#attack on titan#shingeki no kyojin#tokyo ghoul#tokyo ghoul:re#Yuri on ice#Captive Prince#Fullmetal Alchemist#edward elric#boku no hero academia#katsuki bakugou#Touka Kirishima#midoriya izuku#todoroki shouto#sailor moon#bunny tsukino#usagi tsukino#girl power#misogyny#online harassment#bullying#online bullying#detective conan#all might#kimi no na wa
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august 18, 2018 was the last time i wrote something here.
the age on my blog still says 21. it’s not like that matters. every age in your early 20s is the same. i am in my 20s. i am young but i am an adult. i can do anything. but i am not doing anything. i still need support. i can’t survive. and if i can survive, it will be overworking myself, or giving my life away to food service.
from time to time i remember that girl who died and i look up her memorialized facebook and there’s always new posts. and it always gives me a sick feeling yet i can’t stop scrolling. i’ll never know what happened to her, not that i have to, or that it would change anything. i never knew her. she was older than me, and now I am older than her. it’s fucked up. i don’t know what to make of it. it’s fucked up. laura must feel that, but amplified. i don’t know how i would deal with that. i’m getting choked up just thinking about it.
the world is full of awful people and awful people in power and. what can i do. just cbt. just tell people to sleep well and eat well so they wont be depressed. while in the back of my mind i will always wish i had their courage to die.
i don’t know how i will deal with the disgusting pain of raising a child into a world that i know is fucked. i don’t see hope, or humanity. i see only individual happiness, not collective happiness. and there will still be hurricanes. and still be earthquakes. one could happen right now and end me. we will suffer through maría again and again and again until there is nothing left to swipe away. and i hope to be long gone by then
i cant talk to anyone. i can’t cry in my own home. dad might come any minute to check on me. or have a snack. or just sit down on the couch and try to get sleepy. i’ve never understood why he does that
i want to catch fish on animal crossing but i don’t want to. i don’t want to. i just want to have accomplished that.
it hurts a lot and i don’t want to go through this again. everyone is tired of my shit and i can’t blame them. i just want to dissociate so much that i don’t have to deal with this anymore. since i can’t die.
just today i reread a letter from futureme dot org, one i sent to myself in january 2015 to august 2015. hopeful. kind. telling me to be okay. i want to tell her, I am okay. 17 year old me, i’m okay. im past my teens, i’m 23. i’m 23. and i will keep getting older. unless i don;t. in any case it will all keep hurting. and i can’t even cry about it.
i scroll down my real tumblr and there is so much beautiful art there and people creating content and it is all pointless.
everyone is tired of it. it’s just the quarantine they say, nobody has anything new to say. but that’s not right. that doesn’t explain it. and then the dead brain excuse. and then me turning into miranda with accusations and feeling horrible the second i realize. and there’s always that excuse. im sorry im just brain dead today. yeah. i know. i have seen this before.
it’s hard to even keep writing because it just hurts without having anything to talk about. im just thinking about things to make sense of how i feel but i dont. these are not the reasons. i can’t reach the reasons. i have reached the point that i’ll overwhelm even laura. and i feel. so bad. i feel so bad. and all i can do is wait it out alone. with myself. maybe i will feel sorry for past me when i read this in the future.
i could be writing all this in my diary but why bother. hands and pens and pencils. hurt.
i could do sudoku until i fell asleep maybe.
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Rules: you must answer these 85 statements and tag 20 people
hi um @yoshifics tagged me in this thing so i’m gonna answer some things (thank you for thinking of me)
tagging: @freckledandspectacled @toriirdz @frank-myhero-iero @smut-smut-in-the-butt @talkriddletome @xhanac @completelychris @neverland-in-space @preasylumtrager @sirachas @partygoul321 @flux–and–flow
the last …
1. drink: herbal tea. yep, I’m a tea hoe
2. phone call: My dad, he told me my grandma’s sister died. I’ve only met her once, but it’s really affecting my grandma
3. text message: to my brother, I’m trying to build a 3D printer
4. song you listened to: I Don’t Love You by My Chemical Romance… ok I’m a bit emo. I was sad leave me alone :p
5. time you cried: early june. my school isn’t letting me go to graduation.. i thought i’d get over it, but it’s still hitting me
6. dated someone twice: no?
7. kissed someone and regretted it: ya i guess. i enjoyed it, but i really shouldn’t have
8. been cheated on: well i hope not
9. lost someone special: they didn’t die (if that’s what this is asking), but a good friend just ghosted me out of nowhere idk
10. been depressed: ye been a constant thing for awhile :)
11. gotten drunk and thrown up: haven’t thrown up because of it
favorite colors…
12. light pale blue
13. holographic black (idk if this counts lol)
14. slightly darker than blood red
in the last year have you…
15. made new friend: ye i think so
16. fallen out of love: idk relationships are so confusing
17. laughed until you cried: once? maybe?
18. found out someone was talking about you: ya :/ idk how to deal with that
19. met someone who changed you: ya, they’ve helped me grow
20. found out who your friends are: ya. when i came out my friend groups treated me strangely.. so kinda had to find a new one
21. kissed someone on your facebook list: Yes. If by facebook list you mean we’re friends on facebook
general
22. how many of your facebook friends do you know in real life: Pretty much all of them? i don’t use facebook really
23. do you have any pets: ya, i got a bearded dragon named Smaug and a pup named Bailey. I kinda share my best friends cats (3 hypatia, ozzy, and achilles) because I spend so much time at their house (my situation at my house isn’t so great)
24. do you want to change your name: Yes i absolutely hate my birth name :)
25. what did you do for your last birthday: had dinner with my boss idk i wanted to not be around my family
26. what time did you wake up: like noon. I’m jetlagged and i feel like a bum
27. what were you doing at midnight last night: playing a new game i bought from the steam sale when i should’ve been drawing oops
28. name something you can’t wait for: a safe feeling :) i rly need to get away from my house. i get nightmares a lot and idk what to do
29. when was the last time you saw your mom: today
31. what are you listening to right now: sense8 on netflix a friend told me to. it’s p good
32. have you ever talked to a person named tom: Does Thomas count? If so yes. I know one from this space thing and one at school
33. something that is getting on your nerves: myself
34. most visited website: this one? or youtube?
35. hair colour: Black. i wanna try dying it
36. long or short hair: Short. one side is shaved rn
37. do you have a crush on someone: idk feelings are complicated
38. what do you like about yourself: mm yikes. some stuff i’ve made i’m proud of
39. piercings: just my ears. i really wanted snake bites for a long time lol
40. blood type: O-
41. nickname: pear, oswald, ozzie, peari, oz (insert pear emoji here)
42. relationship status: relationships are confusing don’t talk to me
43. zodiac: chinese: golden dragon, asrological: taurus i think
44. pronouns: he/ him
45. favourite tv show: (im gonna list a few) GOTHAM!! i’m in so deep man. it’s the only show i’ve watched air. Danny phantom, Avatar: the last airbender, Durarara, Soul Eater, sense8 (idk tho i haven’t finished), star trek: the next generation, shameless, sherlock, doctor who, great british baking show, chopped, merlin, magicians, ouran high school host club, series of unfortunate events, kill la kill, TEEN TITANS
46. tattoos: nope, but i reeeeally want some
47. right or left handed: Right-handed, but i can draw with both
48. surgery: not yet, but i need one soon
49. piercing: repeat?
50. sport: i did rowing in high school
51. vacation: i really want to go to a lot of places in asia (japan again, south korea, taiwan, tahiti )
52. pair of trainers: shoes? ya i have running shoes
more general
53. eating: i like asian and mexican food
54. drinking: tea!!! (bubble tea too) slushies, apple juice, milk
55. i’m about to: try finishing the 3D printer, hopefully draw
56. waiting for: fulfillment idk i’m kinda a mess rn
57. want: okie doki, a lot. security in the future, not to worry about money, a cat, surgery, time, clothes, better mental state, relationships i feel absolutely safe about
58. get married: yo man, that’s scary
59. career: working in stop-motion animation
60. hugs or kisses: i like both in different contexts. hugs can be with more people, but still i hate strangers hugging me. making out is like v great tho :0
61. lips or eyes: Can I say both again? eyes can be so friggin cool tbh. irises are so complex and can like dilate an shit??? but mouths have so many different shapes????? im smitten bro
62. shorter or taller: either
63. older or younger: either? in a dating context i usually like older people. (I’ve had the biggest crush on my english teacher, sorry Mr. Rossen)
64. nice arms or nice stomach: i feel like those are weird things to pin against? why not arms or legs? but I guess arms? you ever see a guy with nice arms and you like omg strangle me. mkay just me (no one is gonna read this far)
65. hook up or relationship: i’m uh kinda asexual so i wouldn’t have hook up sex? but make out and stuff sure, but I’d rather have a healthy relationship because u can do nasty stuff and cuddly/ domestic stuff
66. troublemaker or hesitant: i’m a chaotic neutral, i’ll hesitate if i’m not sure of the outcome
67. kissed a stranger: Nope
68. drank hard liquor: Ye but i’d rather mix it with stuff
69. lost glasses/contact lenses: ya my mom was so mad i felt terrible :(((
70. turned someone down: I guess? i was in a relationship and he was being pushy??
71. sex on the first date: no I could not
72. broken someone’s heart: i do not know. i hope not. i’m sorry dude
73. had your heart broken: when I came out to my parents
74. been arrested: Nope
75. cried when someone died: ya…this dude in my grade died recently. i saw him the day before.
76. fallen for a friend: ya i think
do you believe in …
77. yourself: HAHAHAHA
78. miracles: yo idk i wish
79. love at first sight: not really? but i won’t be against
80. santa claus: Nope
81. kiss on the first date: why not?
82. angels: not as little kiddies with wings
other
83. current best friend’s name: one? lol can’t pick. Teutie, Illuin, Heming
84. eye colour: brown?
85. favourite movie: mm nah i’m gonna list again. HELLBOY!!! i rly like the avengers one, Lord of the rings, Coraline, the purge, sweeny todd, little shop of horrors, gremlins, zootopia, star trek, star wars, the little prince, mean girls, mad max, the man from uncle, guardians of the galaxy, x men, harry potter (i like the 4th the best)
welp! Thanks for tagging me @yoshifics This was really fun!
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Albums of 2016
My albums of 2016, not exactly in order of preference:
Blackstar - David Bowie
One of the first albums released in the year just preceding Bowie’s death by a few days. I had listened briefly to the album before Bowie died and at that point, I was already astonished that Bowie could still turn out something as epic, weird and uplifting as the song Blackstar. It’s a great start to what is an incredibly strong album even by Bowie’s standards. Other songs, like Lazarus and, my favourite, the poignant I Can’t Give Everything Away, gained increased impact in the context that he was dying as he made them. The album reminds me of Bowie’s Hours from 1999, which also saw him reflecting back on his life and mortality. Both albums are favourites of mine, even if not the happiest songs of his career.
Prospect of Skelmersdale - The Magnetic North
Never heard of these until recommended to me, I think , as being like a folk-orientated Saint Etienne. The comparison is a good one. It holds together thematically, with the whole album being inspired by Skelmersdale, reminiscent again of Saint Etienne, who have written so many albums and songs about London. It’s hard to describe as an album -it sounds retro, at times like it was recorded in the 60s which adds a nostalgic feel. The sound is full with sweet melodic vocals and notes of orchestral music throughout. Well worth seeking out.
The Hope Six Demoitiolon Project - PJ Harvey
Whilst this feels very much like a companion to Let England Shake sonically, it doesn’t quite seem to feel as coherent as an album. Im not trying to put it down too much - Let England Shake was a Mercury Music prize-winning masterpiece, after all. It has a few more straight forward rock songs with The Community of Hope and The Wheel feeling like more obvious single material than anything off recent PJ albums. Both songs are highlights, but it’s the end of side one (on vinyl at least), that it reaches its high point with the beautiful River Anacostia and I can see why PJ chose that song to end her 2016 live performances which I was lucky enough to catch in Wolverhampton after iPlayer-ing her Glastonbury performance to death.
Choreography - Bright Light Bright Light
I love the first two albums by Bright Light Bright Light and had high expectations of this. What hit me about this is the 80s stylings, which sort of made sense once I read that it had been inspired by Rod Thomas's favourite dance scenes from 80s movies. After listening a bit more to the album, I think some of the tracks are the greatest he has written so far. Into the Night is probably his most uplifting pop song since the epic Disco Moment on his first album and songs like Where is the Heartache and Symmetry of Two Hearts Are just perfect pop single material.
Wild Things - Ladyhawke
I loved Ladyhawke's debut album, but I seemed to give up with her second album after a couple of listens. Having caught hearing A Love Song once, I pre-ordered on the strength of that track alone (so Facebook advertising does work sometimes). The album is full of incredibly catchy songs and I’m amazed it hasn’t spawned a hit yet. A Love Song, The River, Wild Things or Golden Girl all seem perfect chart material, she deserves more success with this.
Take Her Up To Monto - Roisin Murphy
Ten Miles High has to be the best thing Murphy has released since the Overpowered album (it’s not quite as good as Movie Star, but not many songs are!) This album is wonderfully weird, and it does take some work. It’s not that far removed from Hairless Toys, but the song structures are looser in places. It is ultimately a very rewarding album blending danceable electronics like Mastermind with a range of more melancholy offerings such as Thoughts Wasted and Whatever.
Girl At The End Of The World - James
Since reforming in 2008, James haven’t put out a bad album and this is no different. There are the obvious soon to be James classics like Nothing But Love, but I love this album for songs like Surfers Song and the stand out Attention which remind me of their earlier epic songs like Sound and Born of Frustration. I’m sure Attention could have been dragged out another few minutes as it ends far too soon.
Joanne - Lady Gaga
After reading the early reviews, I had very low expectations for this. I think she’s had fairly harsh treatment as, in my opinion, this is far better than the car crash that was PopArt, which had a couple of good singles and the missed hit opportunity of standout track Gypsy. Joanne is just a consistently good pop album. It’s not *that* country either; yeah, Just Another Day is a bit Shania Twain, but only as much as You and I was. The album really isn’t that much of departure as reviews have made out - A-YO is single material that could have been on the Fame Monster and the title track, Joanne, and Angel Down are strong ballads compete in quality with earlier ballads like Speechless and Brown Eyes. PopArt took itself so seriously that I couldn’t listen to it much. This is so much more fun.
Swan Song Series - Tanya Donelly
I’d missed Tanya Donelly, having loved the Throwing Muses, The Breeders and most of all, Belly, in my teen years. Her solo output has been strong but too intermittent which is perhaps why she started releasing a series EPs on and off from 2013 onwards, which this album really just collects together. It does feel like a collection of songs rather than one album recorded at the same time, using a variety of collaborators and styles. Tu y Yo almost sounds like it’s reaching back to her time with the Breeders, although my favourite are the songs that sound most like was she was producing on her more recently solo albums; Mass Ave, Blame the Muse and Meteor Shower.
Chaleur Humaine - Christine and the Queens
I think everything that could be said about this album has already been said, although contrary to what most reviewers have said, I don’t love every track. However, its full of well crafted pop and electronica. Just about everybody loves Tilted and rightfully so, but I also think Saint Claude and Paradis Perdus stand out.
There are plenty of albums that just missed the list for 2016 including On Dead Waves which is great, albeit possibly too melancholy for lots of repeat listening! M83’s Junk and Wendy James’s is The Price of the Ticket were also just outside the list. If I’d had Woman by Justice or the recent Nouvelle Vague album for longer, they might have been pushing in, but it’s early days of both so I haven’t had time to listen to either much yet.
I should also say that I tend to skip live albums in these lists although whilst Kate Bush’s Before the Dawn is a fantastic album and recording of the concerts, I actually haven’t listened to it that much. The first CD has been played plenty but the two set pieces of The Ninth Wave and A Sky of Honey just end up making me ache to see the visuals from the concert again. Bizarrely it’s made me miss not having a DVD of the show more rather than less.
Anyway, looking forward to plenty of new music in 2017, spurred on by hearing Goldfrapp are releasing a new album. Cannot wait.
#music#bowie#ladyhawke#lady gaga#James The Band#roisinmurphy#christine and the queens#tanya donelly#bright light bright light#pj harvey#the magnetic north
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I fall asleep on my computer: six people on their relationship with the web
New Post has been published on https://computerguideto.com/must-see/i-fall-asleep-on-my-computer-six-people-on-their-relationship-with-the-web/
I fall asleep on my computer: six people on their relationship with the web
As a study shows many people feel unable to switch off from the internet, we ask our readers how much time a week they spend online
Do you spend too much time online? Its a question that may unearth some uncomfortable truths, and if you are worried about how much you use Facebook/Google et al, youre not alone.
The annual communications market report from media and telecoms regulator Ofcom looks at how people cope with spending so much time connected, and this year it found that more than a third of UK internet users are taking digital detox breaks from the web. It found an increasing amount of time we spend online is leading to lost sleep and less time spent with friends and family.
Six people talk about their relationship with the web, and whether they have the balance right. Share your thoughts below the line.
Cary, 61: My friendships have fallen apart and I am gaining weight by being in all the time
Time spent online: 10 to 12 hours a day
At first I used the internet just for responding to emails. Then for reading news online, shopping and chats. Forums were a totally new experience for me I remember finding it amazing that you could talk to someone through a computer. I have tried various discussion forums, even met with few people out of curiosity. I thought the web was so great because of such vast opportunities for meeting people from beyond my immediate circle, of learning from each other, and doing stuff together.
But that hasnt really happened. My friendships have fallen apart and I am gaining weight by being in all the time. The internet affects my ability to sleep too. My day is turned upside down I go to bed very late because I often get carried away reading something. Time flies when I am doing that! I imposed a regime on myself to do things at home but I drag my feet when it comes to going out.
Whatever I need is now on the web: I can do online banking, shop online and find recipes there too. Information is much easier to get, but I do miss that personal contact with people.
Jenny, 27, Kent: I use the internet at work and go straight online when I get home
Time spent online: 10 hours a day I grew up with the internet I remember the whirling beep-boop of dial-up. I use the internet at work, and go straight online when I get home. Im always logging into apps to play games or check my Facebook messages. I have mostly used the internet to stay connected, though, with friends from across the world. In my teens I used MSN to talk to people these days I go on Facebook and join online chats. Having said this, I can happily spend hours away from the net playing with friends, but the habit of checking for updates online is always there.
The internet has always been a way to stay connected for me. I have made amazing friends in the US and elsewhere. It has helped me feel connected, and talk to people about a variety of topics. Seeing a US perspective of the current elections online, for example, has been refreshing.
I dont feel like there are any drawbacks to the internet. I can go without it, but I dont ever feel the need to switch off. I often go camping and never think of my phone because Im with the friends. I suppose you might need some sort of balance but I dont feel like it negatively affects my life at all.
In the early 2000s, MSN was widely used for chatting online, via messages or webcams. Photograph: Alamy
Mel, 24, London: The internet has made my anxiety worse
Time spent online: one to five hours a day
Some days I trawl through the internet looking for inspiration or to help with my work, but over the long summer months this happens less. I started my BA just last year and a lot of my friends have already graduated, have exciting jobs and are generally having more fun (or so Instagram tells me).
Although I feel Im right where Im supposed to be, seeing their carefully curated lives as they appear on social media exacerbates my anxiety. The web is also very addictive. Ive now deleted social media apps and use the sites on my browser for a fraction of the time I used to, but I often feel rubbish after using them.
Ive battled with mental health issues for a long time. Even though at times of deep depression I actually found sites like Reddit strangely helpful, overall I think the internet has definitely made my anxiety worse.
Reddit was particularly helpful after coming out theres a huge queer community on Reddit and the kind of stories and advice there is really helpful.
But even though its made it easier to connect with others, the internet can also turn feelings my of unsettlement into a full-blown meltdown (whether its a post making me think a friend is avoiding me or Ive Googled my symptoms and think Im dying).
Having said that my partner and I wouldnt have met if it wasnt for the ultimate nerve-racking experience of online dating. I guess being shy and anxious and having no clue how to navigate life as a queer woman, it has allowed me to meet new people that I wouldnt have approached in real life.
Ive had to put a ban on phones when my partner and I spend quality time together because although Ive made an effort to use mine a lot less, she will be fiddling around online. I avoid looking at her Instagram and Facebook feeds sometimes. I get Fomo [fear of missing out] and read too much into things, I guess.
Mike, 67, Brittany: The internet lets us keep in touch with family and friends
Time spent online: two to five hours a day
Its made our relocation to France much easier and smoother. The internet lets us keep in touch with family and friends, even while theyre travelling and/or very busy. It also allows us to keep better informed and pursue personal interests and research.
Its a massive help in solving practical quotidian problems (DIY, health, transport, holidays etc). Im more positive about the net and spend more time online than my partner, but it rarely causes tension. We still talk to each other as much as we always did.
Im more positive about the net, and spend more time online than my partner, but it rarely causes tension. Photograph: Sarah Lee for the Guardian
I dont think it affects my ability to get jobs done either; if anything researching online helps me tackle jobs I might have been daunted by in the past.
JP, 65, Bristol: I am online during my first cup of coffee, breakfast, lunch and dinner
Time spent online: eight to 10 hours a day
Before the arrival of internet I used to spend a lot of hours a week researching in the library, reading the news and also writing letters to friends and family so it was easy for me to migrate online. Actually, the internet made everything I enjoy much easier to do. I do, however, consider myself dependent on it, as I am online during my first cup of coffee, breakfast, lunch and dinner (except when I go out to see friends). I usually fall asleep on my computer.
I doubt that it has benefited my life, as all the hours spent online could have been better spent outdoors. The web does, however, satisfy lots of my curiosities, and I can read an endless number of articles from around the world.
Dining al desko: do you eat your lunch by your computer? Photograph: Alamy
It would be hard to see the world without the internet, but I do think we all waste far too much time online. If the internet didnt exist, I would have spent the same amount of time reading, so I dont believe it really affects my relationships. Sometimes it can be a huge distraction, however. I often think, just 15 more minutes, 10 more minutes, and so on, as the hours go by.
Matthew, 30, Northamptonshire: I deleted my Facebook a few years ago and life has been better since
Time spent online: 12 hours a day
I have to use the internet as part of my job in IT support and obviously the web contributes to me earning a decent living so I cant be too negative about it.
Being online all day can get a little tiring at times, however, and about six years ago I deleted my Facebook and my life has been better without it. I have tried Twitter and Instagram too but have since deleted the accounts because I dont feel I need the gratification of a like or a retweet in my life. Sometimes I feel like Im missing out but then again some of the things online are really not beneficial to me or worth keeping up with.
From an educational perspective the internet has allowed me to expand my knowledge across a broad range of subjects. At the end of the day we all have a choice about what we consume online and its all about being sensible.
Due to my thirst for knowledge the internet sometimes does affect my sleep: I have been known to be on my phone until the early hours reading Wikipedia or watching YouTube videos. It could be worse I guess, I could be on Facebook trying to promote my perfect existence like the rest of them.
Read more: http://www.theguardian.com/us
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Burnt Cabins Pennsylvania Cheap car insurance quotes zip 17215
"Burnt Cabins Pennsylvania Cheap car insurance quotes zip 17215
Burnt Cabins Pennsylvania Cheap car insurance quotes zip 17215
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affordable prescription meds. for transplanted patients plus affordable health insurance for same.
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I am a 25 year old living in Akron, OH and i was wandering if i need insurance to drive with a learner's permit?""
About how much would it cost to for a year of car insurance for a 17 year old in new york?
I am planning on getting a used 2001 Mercedes-Benz C-Class C320. Before I buy the car I will have a senior license and will have taken drivers ed and a defensive driving coarse.
Which car insurance companies offer temporary insurance?
I'm a 20 yr old male that has had his license since age 18 but has never been insured. My mother would prefer to simply add me on hers, but her insurance company does not offer temporary insurance, which is what I need since I will be going back to school in late September. Which car insurance companies offer temporary insurance (3 months)?""
What is the difference between whole and term life insurance? what is a unit?
What is the difference between whole and term life insurance? what is a unit?
Is it legal to be declined health insurance for this reason?
I applied with a major insurance company in California, am a single vegetarian in my mid/late 30s no children, extremely healthy never been diagnosed with anything, exercise regularly. I guess they dug up that I had taken a fertility drug in the past - I was never even diagnosed as infertile - it's a really cheap common drug that stimulates your ovaries to produce more eggs but I had no partner to get pregnant with so to was just something I got from a fertility doctor if I wanted to get pregnant with donor sperm. That's not even covered by insurance if I ever want to do that again and the drug's like $20 you can practically get it over the counter it's so common I know tons of women who use it. I didn't even apply for maternity care to be included in my insurance, just a basic policy. Is it legal for them to decline me because of this? So if a woman has a baby they are no longer eligible for insurance? Most women who get pregnant take this drug (including both my sisters) yet they still have insurance. Was it legal for the pharmacy to give them this info? I don't know how else they found out.""
What company has the cheapest teen car insurance?
I'm moving out, and I need insurance! But I can't afford my moms plan anymore since of course, moving out in college is expensive. I've ever had an accident, and I make straight As. Who could you recommend?""
Burnt Cabins Pennsylvania Cheap car insurance quotes zip 17215
Burnt Cabins Pennsylvania Cheap car insurance quotes zip 17215
USA - healthcare for the uninsured?
Is it true that if you get sick in the US and don't have insurance the staff @ the hospitals are not obliged to treat you? What if you got run-over for example? Or rescued from a housefire and were covered in burns?
""As a 21 year old unemployed college student, do I need to buy health insurance?""
I'm an unemployed senior in college and I don't have health insurance. I live with my mother, who is currently unemployed and uninsured. We're pretty much just getting by, ...show more""
Where can i get some good liability car insurance? ?
I wanto insure my vehicle i recently got so any ideas. Although iv had an at fault accident before help...
Do you have to have insurance for...?
I was wondering, when renting an apartment are you suppose to have insurance?""
What is the best Home Insurance?
What is the best Home Insurance company? How much should I expect to pay each month for Home Insurance for a $300,000 brand new home? Are there things that I should include in my Home Insurance policy that is not mentioned to me? The home is in Fresno California.""
Advice needed on Car Insurance?
I'm a 18 sixth form student who is learning to drive. I am currently looking at getting car insurance to make it easier to pass and then for afterwards but what would work out cheaper? - Get insurance on my mums car fully comp, as she doesnt want it wrecked! - Or buy a cheap little car for under 1000, and then insure it third party, to get my no claims bonus. Just ideas would be appreciated as well as advice. Cheers!""
""18, needs car insurance for ANYTHING please help ?""
OK ah cant take anymore of this... i'm 18 have had a license for 3 months now and live in the UK jarrow, tyne and Wear... All i want is a **** little car. But the insurance is ***** ridiculus no matter what i do a car costing 300 insurance will still be 5000 - 6000 doesn't matter if the engine is the size of a vacuume cleaner motor it jus wont go down. PLEASE somebody find me a car that isn't over 2000 that the insurance wont be beyond a joke. Been at this for over a week now and cant find anything. gocompare money supermarket direct line aviva. even put my mother as the main driver of the car with me as additional driver and still 5000 - 6000. Even insurance fraud is expensive PLEASE help me""
Will lifting my Jeep affect my insurance rates?
I have a Jeep Cherokee, which is my daily driver, but I'm lookin into making it alot bigger, putting a 6 lift kit on and putting 35 tires. I dont know whether or not I need to notify my insurance company about this. I dont expect them to insure the lift or anything, but can I be dropped by them if I do not tell them? I'm not actually going to be taking the truck offroad (stupid I know, but its just for looks).""
Car insurance in New York?
where can i find something affordable
Is my car insurance company lying to me?
I am insured by Farmers, they told me that I can not have a choice of the estimator who will decide the value of the damage to my car. They told me that only their estimator can decide the value of the damage. Are they lying?""
How long does a traffic violation affect car insurance quotes?
Two years ago, Feb in 2011, I was caught driving with a suspended license. Since then, car insurance has been through the roofs. How long until my quotes are no longer affected by my violation?""
Ways to lower my insurance rate?
Hey, Im in highschool at the moment and im not reaching my car dilemma Im a male at the age of 16 (not looked well upon by insurance companies I hear) and I am insured by Statefarm. I was wondering if someone could help me out by telling me how i could lower my monthly insurance rate. The car im getting has side airbags and good crash test ratings, and im going to be adding mods to it (either rsx type-s or volkswagon golf gti) and i would most likely be installing rollover bars. Would this help my insurance rate go down? What other steps could I take? Thank you!""
Is it required to buy insurance if you rent a car ?
Well, I'm going to tell my mom to rent a car next Thursday and I'm not sure if she HAVE to buy insurance for it. She already have car insurance from Triple A, can she use the car insurance she have for the rental car? Is that okay? When I reserved the car for Avis last weekend, it said that you can purchase a protection for the car for an extra 18 dollars, im not sure if that's insurance or not. It said its recommended, but not required. Also, no where on the site said that you have to buy insurance for the rental car. Is there already insurance for those rental cars? I'm so confused. pleease help!!""
How can i get cheap car insurance?
is there anyway i could reduce my insurance costs
LOW car insurance for a 19 year old Male?
I have been looking to buy my first car (1.1-1.4L) but all insurance companies I have checked are really high like 3,000-6,000 per year. Are there any cheap insurers out there and what are they? Please help, I am really wanting a car but the prices of insurance are holding me back :( What are ideal 1st cars (low insurance) ?""
Question for no claims bonus protected on car insurance?
hi Sorry might be a silly question but here goes,, i crashed this morning (have to go through insurance ) i have 4 years no claims (protected) my insurance is due in march . when i renew my insurance and get quotes will i say i have 5 years no claims in march as i have protected no claims bonus ???""
Motocycle insurance??
i want to buy a motocycle (sports bike) buti would like to know an estimate of how much it will cost for insurance. Are sports bike more expensive than a car? I'm paying around 200 for my monthly with a car right now.
What is the average cost for a student possessions insurance policy?
What is the average cost for a student possessions insurance policy?
Can an insurance company buy off and tow my car?
some construction company hit my car. the estimate repair is 2400.00 my car in kellybluebook is 1600.00, they said they could either write me a check of 1000.00 or their insurance if going to tow my car and give me what they think is worth. can an insure really do that? can't they just repair my car and give me a rental until i get it repaired? what should i do the accident happened 6/26/13""
About how much does an Sr22 bond cost?
The reason I need one is, I was pulled over and caught without insurance. Now in order to get my license reinstated I must first get this bond.""
Do i Need Car Insurance?
If i drive my moms car and the car has insurance and my parents both do and i don't have my own and i get in a accident or get pulled over. what will happen to me and my parents? and also i am 16 and just got my license. my parents have AAA insurance and we live in Michigan. My parents do not want to add me on the policy, so can i still drive the car or can i get in big trouble?""
Would it be cheaper insurance on a small van compared to a small car?
I am now older enough to drive, I have been looking at cars. And, I was just wondering if it would be cheaper when it comes to insurance if I buy a small van (http://www.wisebuyers.co.uk/vans/300/Ford/ford_escort_van_1.jpg), instead of buying a small car (http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-3oRG_dt7j3k/TkgXL5ZmbRI/AAAAAAAACDg/zQL9eZiCJ-w/s1600/fiesta-13.jpg)? Thanks, Chris :)""
Disability Insurance question?
Can an individual buy short term disability insurance themselves without going thru a business? Can I purchase Aflac on my own, or some other disability insurance?""
How much will I pay for car insurance? Estimate.?
I am looking to buy a car this Spring (new, from a dealership). When I do, I will be 24, female, and have had my license for just under a year. Since I passed my road test, I have not been driving or on any insurance at all. I will be the main driver on this vehicle, though there might be a secondary driver. I will probably by a small car, like a Yaris, or a Hyundai Elentra. Something cheap, good on gas, safe, and not fast or sporty. It will be automatic. I am a university graduate (not sure if that matters but I heard it does). I will live in a town with about 100,000 people. About how much am I looking at car insurance/month? I have tried the online sites but find them confusing. Some people tell me $100, but the online estimates can be $300-400.""
How can forcing people to have car insurance compare to forcing health insurance?
Actually this equates to Slavery by the government??? You do not have to buy car insurance if you do not own a car. Secondly, if your car is paid for then you only have to have liability insurance to protect others not for the repairs of your own car. Yet, forcing everyone to have health insurance would fall on every individual regardless of age, sex, race, income, ect. If you do not have enough after paying your monthly bills you will be fined and even serve prison time with a $25,000 fee. This essentially goes against Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness isn't it? Liberals want to say everyone should have, and the government should provide? Yet, this is not government providing it is government enslaving you to have?? Slippery slope they are weaving and the benefits will be far less than we have today with the government oppression on each individual.""
Burnt Cabins Pennsylvania Cheap car insurance quotes zip 17215
Burnt Cabins Pennsylvania Cheap car insurance quotes zip 17215
https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/homeowners-insurance-quotes-melbourne-fl-morgan-scott/"
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a list of gross/weird ass advances that i’ve had from people:
•that one boy in primary school who was a younger brother of someone in my year, in the year under us, that harassed me for like two years straight by following me around singing/rapping eminem’s “shake that” ft nate dogg to me. like y’all this shit was happening when i was like 9-11 years old. and this behaviour ruined that song for me for literal YEARS. obvs, you could fight this one with “well, he was just a kid and you were as well. so, it can’t really be helped or criticised bc he was just repeating the things you’d both heard on the tv/radio. he probs thought at the time that this was an okay song (which it obvs wasn’t) to sing to a girl that he liked; bc it was so popular back then (2005-2006)” which, of course, is to some extent true. but still???? a kid should know the meaning of “can you please STOP following me around singing that song, thanks?” that i asked him several times to do, but he kept doing it, until i told a teacher.
-that one time at 13/14 when i signed up to facebook for the first time ever, after two years of being used to myspace (good times),and got automatically signed up to the dating app zoosk bc FB had decided to sign me up as single and lonely and therefore, i needed a man. so, i spent my first 3 fucking months of facebook trying to find how to deactivate that fucking app and had men in their late teens to their early/mid 20s hitting on me through the whole thing. but at least most of the guys were understanding here and were rightfully freaked out as i was that fb had signed a fucking 13/14 year old up to a motherfucking dating service.
•”your name is so fucked! like it’s so hard to learn how to fucking spell and pronounce... like why the fuck would your parents call you that bc no one would call their kid that??? anyway, I’m just gonna call you *insert plain ass white girl name here* for the rest of conversation bc it’s soooo much easier for me! but like, why the actual fuck won’t you give me more than two word replies you super over conceited bitch!? when i’ve been nothing but nice to you?! btw you’re sexy anyway and that should fix this. ps. send me nudes on snapchat bc its 2am and im lonely.” (all the same guy.)
•”oh hey.... we should make a wager where we if we ever meet and go out to a bar.... and we should bet off each other virginity’s right? are you with me? anyway, so, we go to a bar and see who gets fucked first and so loses their virginity first. and whoever loses their virginity first has to fuck the other one so that we both lose out virginity on the same night! sounds like a great idea doesn’t it? hahahahaha 😂😅 ”constant harassment for nudes and nude videos to be this guy’s private cam girl, bc apparently “following you for 4 years on tumblr is a lot of trust and so you owe me nudes bitch” ”oh and by the way, how are all your vibrators? are they getting a good work out? 😉😏😏” (this is all the same guy who follows me on here.)
•that one dude who thought that me inviting a friend along with me to us meeting in Bondi (in Sydney) made my friend an awkward 3rd wheel bc apparently we were a couple bc he liked all my posts on this godawful problematic hellsite. he was 18 like me. but still.
•those two 28 year olds who harassed me with sexual messages when I was 17 again on this godawful hellsite. and one of those guys always asking for selfies bc I was “so hot” and “so pretty” like y’all I WAS A FUCKING CHILD AND THEY WERE FULL GROWN ADULT MEN PAYING BILLS AND SHIT. IT WAS LIKE: PLS TRY AND PULL WOMEN YOUR OWN AGE. and then the other dude using the teacher sex fantasy where they fuck in the girls changeroom after sport.... when he was literally old enough to be a PE teacher at my school.
•literally just everything my high school stalker said to me back in the day and when I ended up running into him in 2015 on the bus home from uni.
•that one guy who I s2g was in his 30s and not his 20s like he said; from like azerbaijan or some other random country, hitting on me when I was 18/19 bc I “looked like a nice girl”
•those two guys somewhere in their 20s (where one of the guys was trying to set me up with his friend) when I was 17/18 who kept asking me if I’d ever watched porn and masturbated... and why I still hadn’t fucked anyone yet when I should’ve fucked someone by the time I was 15, apparently.
•mr creeper mccreepcreep who was absolutely hellbent in trying to confiscate/steal my phone (and my bag at one point) from me and just generally trying to leave me without my phone last year at a bar with some friends (2017) when he found out by peering over my shoulder at my phone, that i’d texted someone to pick me up from the bar to escape from him. bc remember: “HOW FUCKING DARE YOU HAVE THE AUDACITY TO LEAVE ME AND TEXT PEOPLE TO LEAVE THE BAR WHEN I’VE JUST MET YOU! AND YOU’RE SEXY SLEEP WITH ME, YOU BITCH! AND BY THE WAY, YOU’RE NOT ALLOWED TO LOOK AT OR EVEN ASK FOR MY PHONE EXCEPT TO ADD ME ON FACEY! :P” (this is what i think his thought process was it’s not what he actually said out loud) the whole time i was with him though, he was completely and utterly grossing me the fuck out and scaring me to death with how desperate he was to leave me without an escape route from that bar other than either him or my friends (ie my phone) and feeling straight up my dress and trying to “convince you (me) to kiss me (him)” i’m pretty sure i was close to getting my drink spiked if i’d had one with me tbh. he just gave off that feeling.
•ok this wasn’t from a guy... but when I moved schools at 16/17 (2012), one of the girls that I met was hellbent again on trying to “get you (me) a boyfriend bc you (i) need one”, apparently. in this process, she kept trying to set me up with men in their late 20s/early 30s (and a tiny minority close to our age at the time, at 16-18 even early 20s) and practically bribed me (i.e. she gave me jewellery and CD’s to keep me quiet each time) for the use of my phone to do so. she always asked me if i was talking to those guys and when i said no she was always like “why though??? they’re so nice!” and i was like “THE BULK OF THEM ARE ADULT MEN MABEL! THEY SHOULDN’T BE FLIRTING WITH/TRYING TO DATE GIRLS WHO ARE 16/17!!! SOME OF THEM ARE ALMOST TWICE OUR AGE!!! HOW THE FUCK DO YOU NOT FUCKING UNDERSTAND THAT???!!!″ to which she’d answer with “so?????” she even asked a few times if she could take my mobile phone home WITH HER to add more creepy men.... which i obviously said a resounding “NO????!!!!” to. finally, at the end of all that shit, she hit on me. when I said no she asked “is that bc you went to catholic school?” and I was like “no it’s just bc I don’t swing that way right now.” (and plus your behaviour is really fucking weird and concerning).
but the moral of this post is to fucking stay safe, my ragtime gals and my dudes.
#life#about me#shut up ilona#ilona whines about her absolutely shitty luck with dudes#the girls name has been changed lol#but seriously though#why tbr fuck are people so fucking weied#*weird and gross
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Aisling Bea: My fathers death has given me a love of men, of their vulnerability and tenderness
The comedians father killed himself when she was three. She was plagued by the fact he made no mention of her or her sister in the letter he left. Then, 30 years after his death, a box arrived
My father died when I was three years old and my sister was three months. For years, we thought he had died of some sort of back injury a story that we had never really investigated because we were just too busy with the Spice Girls and which one we were (I was a Geri/Mel B mix FYI). Then, on the 10th anniversary of his death, my mother sat us down and explained the concept of suicide. Sure, we knew about suicide. At 13, I had already known of too many young men from our town who had taken their own lives. Spoken about as inexplicable sadnesses for the families, spoken about but never really talked about terrible tragedy nobody knows why he did it. What we had not known until that day, was that our father had, 10 years beforehand, also taken his own life.
When I was growing up, I idolised my father. I thought his ghost followed me around the house. I had been told how he adored me, how I was funny, just like him. Because of our lovely Catholic upbringing, I secretly assumed that he would eventually come back, like our good friend Jesus.
My mother, being the wonder woman that she is, never held his death against him. When she looked into his coffin, she felt she saw the face of the man she had married: his stress lines had gone, he seemed free of the sadness that had been dogging him of late. But it was still tough for her to talk about. She didnt want to have to explain to a stranger in the middle of a party how he was not defined by his ending, but how loved he was, how cherished the charismatic, handsome vet in a small town had been. She didnt want his whole person being judged.
Once she had told us, I did not want to talk about him. Ever again. I now hated him. He had not been taken from us, he had left. His suicide felt like the opposite of parenting. Abandonment. Selfishness. Taking us for granted.
I didnt care that he had not been in his right mind, because if I had been important enough to him I would have put him back into his right mind before he did it. I didnt care that he had been in chronic pain and that men in Ireland dont talk about their feelings, so instead die of sadness. I didnt want him at peace. I wanted him struggling, but alive, so he could meet my boyfriends and give them a hard time, like in American movies. I wanted him to come to pick me up from discos, so my mother didnt have to go out alone in her pyjamas at night to get me.
I look like him. For all of my teens and early 20s, I smothered my face in fake tan and bleached my hair blond so that elderly relatives would stop looking at me like I was the ghost of Christmas past whenever I did something funny. You look so like your father, they would say. And as much as people might think a teenage girl wants to be told that she looks like a dead man, she doesnt.
Aisling Bea with her father. Photograph: Aisling Bea
And then there was the letter.
My mother gave us the letter to read the day she told us, but, in it, he didnt mention my sister or me.
I had not been adored. He had forgotten we existed. I didnt believe it at first. When I was 15, I took the letter out of my mothers Filofax and used the photocopying machine at my summer job to make a copy so I could really examine it. Like a CSI detective, I stared at it, desperate to see if there had been a trace of the start of an A anywhere.
I would often fantasise that, if I ever killed myself, I would write a letter to every single person I had ever met, explaining why I was doing it. Every. Single. Person. Right down to the lad I struck up a conversation with once in a chip shop and the girl I met at summer camp when I was 12. No one would be left thinking: Why? I would be very non-selfish about it. When Facebook came in, I thought: Well, this will save me a fortune on stamps.
Sometimes, in my less lucid moments, I was convinced that he had left a secret note for me somewhere. Maybe, on my 16th no, 18th no, 21st no, 30th birthday, a letter would arrive, like in Back to the Future. Aisling, I wanted to wait until you were old enough to understand. I was secretly a spy. That is why I did it. I love you. I love your sister, too. PS Heaven is real, your philosophy essay is wrong and I am totally still watching over you. Stop shoplifting.
This summer was the 30th anniversary of his death. In that time, a few things have happened that have radically changed how I feel.
Three years ago, Robin Williams took his own life. He was my comedy hero, my TV dad he had always reminded my mother of my father and his death spurred me to finally start opening up. I had always found it so hard to talk about. I think I had been afraid that if I ever did, my soul would fall out of my mouth and I would never get it back in again.
Last year, I watched Grayson Perrys documentary All Man. It featured a woman whose son had ended his life. She thought that he probably hadnt wanted to die for ever, just on that day, when he had been in so much pain. A lightbulb moment it had never occurred to me that maybe suicide had seemed like the best option in that hour. In my head, my father had taken a clear decision, as my parent, to opt out for ever.
My father had always seemed like an adult making adult decisions, but I suddenly found myself at almost his age, still feeling like a giant child. I looked at some of my male friends gorgeous idiots doing their gorgeous, idiotic best to bring up little daughters, just like he would have been.
Finally, just after my 30th birthday, a box turned up.
The miserable people he had worked for had found a box of his things filed away and rang my mother (30 years later) wondering whether she wanted them or whether they should just throw them in the bin.
She waited for us to fly home and we opened it together three little women staring into an almost-abandoned cardboard box.
Now, most of the box was horse ultrasounds which, Ill be honest, I am not into. But there was also his handwriting around the edges and, then, underneath the horse X-rays and files, there were the photographs.
Any child who has lost a parent probably knows every single photograph in existence of that parent. I had pored over them all, trying to put together the person he might have been.
The photos in the box had been collected from his desk after he had died. We had never seen them before. They were nearly all of me. He had had all of these photos stuck on his desk. I was probably the last thing he looked at before he died.
My fathers death has given me a lot. It has given me a lifelong love of women, of their grittiness and hardness traits that we are not supposed to value as feminine. It has also given me a love of men, of their vulnerability and tenderness traits that we do not foster as masculine or allow ourselves to associate with masculinity.
To Daddy, here is my note to you:
Im sad you killed yourself, because I really think that, if you could see the life you left behind, you would regret it. You didnt get to see the Berlin wall fall or Ireland qualify for Italia 90. You didnt get to see all the encyclopedias that you bought for us to one day use at university get squashed into a CD and subsequently the internet. You have never got to hear your younger daughters voice it annoys me sometimes, but it has also said some of the most amazing things when drunk. I think you would have been proud to watch your daughter do standup at the O2 and sad to see my mother watching it on her own. Then again, if you hadnt died, I probably wouldnt have been mad enough to become a clown for a living. I am your daughter and I am really fucking funny, just like you. But, unlike you, Im going to stop being it for five minutes and write our story in the hope that it may help someone who didnt get to have a box turn up, or who may not feel in their right mind right now and needs a reminder to find hope. Aisling
In the UK, the Samaritans can be contacted on 116 123. In the US, the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is 1-800-273-8255. In Australia, the crisis support service Lifeline is on 13 11 14. Other international suicide helplines can be found at befrienders.org
Read more: http://ift.tt/2hEbtos
from Viral News HQ http://ift.tt/2iq7Wui via Viral News HQ
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The comedians father killed himself when she was three. She was plagued by the fact he made no mention of her or her sister in the letter he left. Then, 30 years after his death, a box arrived
My father died when I was three years old and my sister was three months. For years, we thought he had died of some sort of back injury a story that we had never really investigated because we were just too busy with the Spice Girls and which one we were (I was a Geri/Mel B mix FYI). Then, on the 10th anniversary of his death, my mother sat us down and explained the concept of suicide. Sure, we knew about suicide. At 13, I had already known of too many young men from our town who had taken their own lives. Spoken about as inexplicable sadnesses for the families, spoken about but never really talked about terrible tragedy nobody knows why he did it. What we had not known until that day, was that our father had, 10 years beforehand, also taken his own life.
When I was growing up, I idolised my father. I thought his ghost followed me around the house. I had been told how he adored me, how I was funny, just like him. Because of our lovely Catholic upbringing, I secretly assumed that he would eventually come back, like our good friend Jesus.
My mother, being the wonder woman that she is, never held his death against him. When she looked into his coffin, she felt she saw the face of the man she had married: his stress lines had gone, he seemed free of the sadness that had been dogging him of late. But it was still tough for her to talk about. She didnt want to have to explain to a stranger in the middle of a party how he was not defined by his ending, but how loved he was, how cherished the charismatic, handsome vet in a small town had been. She didnt want his whole person being judged.
Once she had told us, I did not want to talk about him. Ever again. I now hated him. He had not been taken from us, he had left. His suicide felt like the opposite of parenting. Abandonment. Selfishness. Taking us for granted.
I didnt care that he had not been in his right mind, because if I had been important enough to him I would have put him back into his right mind before he did it. I didnt care that he had been in chronic pain and that men in Ireland dont talk about their feelings, so instead die of sadness. I didnt want him at peace. I wanted him struggling, but alive, so he could meet my boyfriends and give them a hard time, like in American movies. I wanted him to come to pick me up from discos, so my mother didnt have to go out alone in her pyjamas at night to get me.
I look like him. For all of my teens and early 20s, I smothered my face in fake tan and bleached my hair blond so that elderly relatives would stop looking at me like I was the ghost of Christmas past whenever I did something funny. You look so like your father, they would say. And as much as people might think a teenage girl wants to be told that she looks like a dead man, she doesnt.
Aisling Bea with her father. Photograph: Aisling Bea
And then there was the letter.
My mother gave us the letter to read the day she told us, but, in it, he didnt mention my sister or me.
I had not been adored. He had forgotten we existed. I didnt believe it at first. When I was 15, I took the letter out of my mothers Filofax and used the photocopying machine at my summer job to make a copy so I could really examine it. Like a CSI detective, I stared at it, desperate to see if there had been a trace of the start of an A anywhere.
I would often fantasise that, if I ever killed myself, I would write a letter to every single person I had ever met, explaining why I was doing it. Every. Single. Person. Right down to the lad I struck up a conversation with once in a chip shop and the girl I met at summer camp when I was 12. No one would be left thinking: Why? I would be very non-selfish about it. When Facebook came in, I thought: Well, this will save me a fortune on stamps.
Sometimes, in my less lucid moments, I was convinced that he had left a secret note for me somewhere. Maybe, on my 16th no, 18th no, 21st no, 30th birthday, a letter would arrive, like in Back to the Future. Aisling, I wanted to wait until you were old enough to understand. I was secretly a spy. That is why I did it. I love you. I love your sister, too. PS Heaven is real, your philosophy essay is wrong and I am totally still watching over you. Stop shoplifting.
This summer was the 30th anniversary of his death. In that time, a few things have happened that have radically changed how I feel.
Three years ago, Robin Williams took his own life. He was my comedy hero, my TV dad he had always reminded my mother of my father and his death spurred me to finally start opening up. I had always found it so hard to talk about. I think I had been afraid that if I ever did, my soul would fall out of my mouth and I would never get it back in again.
Last year, I watched Grayson Perrys documentary All Man. It featured a woman whose son had ended his life. She thought that he probably hadnt wanted to die for ever, just on that day, when he had been in so much pain. A lightbulb moment it had never occurred to me that maybe suicide had seemed like the best option in that hour. In my head, my father had taken a clear decision, as my parent, to opt out for ever.
My father had always seemed like an adult making adult decisions, but I suddenly found myself at almost his age, still feeling like a giant child. I looked at some of my male friends gorgeous idiots doing their gorgeous, idiotic best to bring up little daughters, just like he would have been.
Finally, just after my 30th birthday, a box turned up.
The miserable people he had worked for had found a box of his things filed away and rang my mother (30 years later) wondering whether she wanted them or whether they should just throw them in the bin.
She waited for us to fly home and we opened it together three little women staring into an almost-abandoned cardboard box.
Now, most of the box was horse ultrasounds which, Ill be honest, I am not into. But there was also his handwriting around the edges and, then, underneath the horse X-rays and files, there were the photographs.
Any child who has lost a parent probably knows every single photograph in existence of that parent. I had pored over them all, trying to put together the person he might have been.
The photos in the box had been collected from his desk after he had died. We had never seen them before. They were nearly all of me. He had had all of these photos stuck on his desk. I was probably the last thing he looked at before he died.
My fathers death has given me a lot. It has given me a lifelong love of women, of their grittiness and hardness traits that we are not supposed to value as feminine. It has also given me a love of men, of their vulnerability and tenderness traits that we do not foster as masculine or allow ourselves to associate with masculinity.
To Daddy, here is my note to you:
Im sad you killed yourself, because I really think that, if you could see the life you left behind, you would regret it. You didnt get to see the Berlin wall fall or Ireland qualify for Italia 90. You didnt get to see all the encyclopedias that you bought for us to one day use at university get squashed into a CD and subsequently the internet. You have never got to hear your younger daughters voice it annoys me sometimes, but it has also said some of the most amazing things when drunk. I think you would have been proud to watch your daughter do standup at the O2 and sad to see my mother watching it on her own. Then again, if you hadnt died, I probably wouldnt have been mad enough to become a clown for a living. I am your daughter and I am really fucking funny, just like you. But, unlike you, Im going to stop being it for five minutes and write our story in the hope that it may help someone who didnt get to have a box turn up, or who may not feel in their right mind right now and needs a reminder to find hope. Aisling
In the UK, the Samaritans can be contacted on 116 123. In the US, the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is 1-800-273-8255. In Australia, the crisis support service Lifeline is on 13 11 14. Other international suicide helplines can be found at befrienders.org
Read more: https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2017/nov/04/aisling-bea-my-fathers-death-has-given-me-a-love-of-men-of-their-vulnerability-and-tenderness
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34 Men Discuss Society’s Insane Double Standards That Favor Women And Hurt Men
Found on AskReddit.
1. If women sexually harass us, its seen as amusing rather than rapey.
One night in a bar, this incredibly drunk, incredibly skanky woman started fucking grinding on me while I was just trying to sit and drink a beer. Rubbing her gross vag all over my pant leg, and generally being disgusting and inappropriate. While this was happening, I thought If the roles were reversed, security would be tossing me out the door headfirst. Instead, people just laughed.
2. If you go anywhere in public with little kids, youre seen as a predator pedo.
Im a 19 y/o male, and I babysit my 3 and 6-year-old girl cousins often. Last time I babysat them, we played tag, then we had to go to the grocery store. The 3-year-old decided that she wants to play tag, and runs away from me, so I chase her down, playfully saying, I’m gonna get ya! in a funny voice cuz it gets her to laugh. A mom passes by and grabs my 3-year-old cousin, takes the 6-year-old, and goes to a manager. My aunt had to come down and tell them that I was watching them. That was the worse it’s been, but if I go anywhere in public with little kids, especially girls, I’m seen as a predator pedo.
3. If you and a girl both get drunk and have sex, only one can be accused of rape.
There was the anti-rape poster I saw a while back, where two teens get drunk and hook up. The dude gets busted for rape since she couldn’t give consent. The poster mentions nothing about it being the other way around, as in the girl getting busted for rape since he couldn’t give consent. The poster completely disregards the dude as a possible victim. It even goes as far as shaming the dude saying he ruined his life. Made me sick. All it did was promote male victims to want to hide even more.
4. Men are always the dumb ones on TV.
That men are always the dumb ones on TV. I grew up with three sisters and my mom, and I’ve always been disregarded as the stupid, out-of-touch male. Then, when I end up being right most of the time, I make a big deal about it and make everything worse, AND ITS THE TVS FAULT.
5. Women dont get blamed for dumping a man; when a man dumps a woman, hes afraid of commitment.
When a woman leaves a relationship she is praised for pursuing her needs, but when man leaves a relationship he is criticized for not being able to commit.
6. Female bisexuality is accepted. Male bisexuals? Theyre just gay.
How female bisexuality is more accepted and acknowledgedsometimes even encouragedthan male bisexuality.
7. Male genital mutilationtotally legal in every country.
Female genital mutilation: Totally illegal in most countries. Male genital mutilation: Totally legal in country.
8. If a woman gets angry at a man, its his fault.
Man gets angry at a woman, he needs to control himself. Woman gets angry at a man, man needs to learn not to make her angry.
9. Our society doesnt believe that women can sexually abuse boys.
It’s probably way too late for this to get any attention but I am a male victim of sexual abuse.
I was first sexually abused when I was four years old. It was swept under the rug because the 25-year-old that did it to me was going through some things and didn’t know any better.
Fast-forward to when I’m 9 and I was sexually abused every Friday for over a year and a half. I was told by my abuser that if I let anyone know, it would be my fault and I would get in trouble. One day I finally told, just wanting it to end even if I got in trouble. What happened? Both me (9) and my female abuser (23) were given a stern talking to. That was it. She went on to live her life. I never saw her again.
Every Friday I was locked in a room and bound. I would be left in the dark while I would have her perform oral (attempted since I was 9 and unable of getting an erection). She would pump me full of fluids and when I had to go to the bathroom she’d have me pee on her. At times she would pee into a cup and try to force me to drink it. If I was being more cooperative than usual she would untie my hands and have me touch her. At the end of every, I dunno what to call itsession?she would tell me that if I told anyone I would be taken from my parents. Even if they didn’t take me from my parents her dad who was a bad man would kill my mom and my sisters.
That is until I was 15 and made a Facebook. She found me on there and would leave comments like look who grew up sexy and stuff like that. I reached out to the adults in my life and they told me to ignore it, which I did. But they told me I was a guy and I could handle it. It’s not something that keeps me awake at night. But in order to get over it I had to harden myself because I’m a guy and guys can’t get raped.
On a previous reddit account I went to open up on a victims of sexual abuse page. I wrote out a multi-page post just getting it out there. The only replies I got were about how I was a guy and I didn’t know what it was like to be violated as a woman. I was harassed for weeks by women on there for trying to compare my experience to theirs.
10. Women can beat us up all they want, but if we hit back, were monsters.
I’m a big guy, I shave my head and grow a beard, most people think I’m intimidating.
Truly I’m timid at heart, I know how to box but have always found a way around confrontation.
I had a girlfriend that got crazy violent when she was mad, knives, tazers, guns, frequently got involved. I hit her a lot in self defense (we were together for 3 years it definitely played into my low self esteem, i loved to hate it) and it completely ruined my psyche. I think of myself as a woman beater, as a misogynist now just knowing that I’m capable of it.
Just the idea that I can hit a woman has driven me to some of my darkest depths and even now typing it I dont feel justified in my actions despite the fact I was protecting my own life.
One night she came at me with a tazer from behind she started it early and I had enough time to move, she tripped and stunned herself, screaming in pain, bruised her forehead hitting it against the floor. Neighbors heard and called the cops and she gave a false statement. Of course looking the way I do it didn’t matter what I said, I spent a night in holding before she dropped the charges and got me out. I guess I’m just thankful she “loved” me enough not to let me get charged with that shit.
It’s made me scared about new relationships because I’m afraid someone can just tell a cop whatever they want and I’ll get fucked.
Shit this will probably get buried but it was nice to say it. edit: this post blew up r.i.p. my inbox. appreciate all the support and kind words. pm me if you want to talk peeps.
11. Stay-at-home dads are lazy losers; stay-at-home moms are empowered heroes.
I’m a stay-at-home father because I’m taking care of my wife and I’s 2 year old son. My wife’s got a career that’s promising advancement and she works sometimes 12 hour days. I often get the Why doesn’t he have a job and He’s a deadbeat dad routine but if I was a woman I’m sure I’d hear about how mothers work so hard as housewives.
TLDR; Man stays home raises child = Lazy, Woman stays home raises child = Hardworking Hero.
12. If youre a male nurse, people think its because you couldnt become a doctor.
When a man is a nurse people think and many times say in their face Couldn’t become a doctor, huh?
13. If a girl sexually assaults you, youre supposed to enjoy it.
I was sexually assaulted by a girl when I was plastered once and kept saying no I don’t want this. Woke up feeling violated and insanely uncomfortable yet when I told people they all told me to suck it up and I should’ve enjoyed getting some action.
14. There are huge gender disparities in criminal sentencing.
That women who have sex with underage boys aren’t given the same sentences as men who do the same with underage girls.
15. If men show feelings, theyre seen as pussies.
I don’t like how if guys show feelings and emotions they’re some kind of pussy and if a chick does it’s normal. We are all humans and we all have the same emotions that aren’t good to bottle up.
16. Guys are still expected to be the breadwinner.
I don’t like that there’s still this idea that guys have to be the breadwinners and provide for families. Some guys are cool with being househusbands, and women are just as capable of bringing home the money.
17. If a man who murdered a woman spoke at a Mens March, itd be national news.
There was a speaker at the women’s march on Washington named Donna Hylton. She got up on stage and talked about how she had spent 25 years in prison (not mentioning why of course), and the audience cheered.
Turns out, she spent 25 years in prison because in 1985, she and a handful of other people kidnapped a 60-year-old man, tried to ransom him for $435,000, tortured him for three weeks (Hylton personally sodomized him with a metal rod), strangled him, and stuffed his body into a chest to decompose.
I can’t help but wonder how a man with an equivalent record would be received at the same event.
18. Women are allowed to reject guys based on their looks without being seen as shallow.
When I turn down chubby women I’m shallow, but I get turned down for being bald and it just her preference.
19. If a man cheats, hes an asshole; if a woman does, its the mans fault.
I hate the TV portrayal that if a man cheats its cause hes an asshole and heartless but if a women does its scandalous and its cause her husband must either treat her bad or is just never around.
20. Despite what Hillary Clinton said, men are the primary victims of war.
That men for some reason have to be soldiers in some countries while woman only .
21. Divorce laws are lopsidedly in favor of women.
Divorce law.
Women are entitled to alimony at a MUCH higher percentage, even when she’s the primary bread winner.
The idea that a divorced woman has the right to a standard of living consistent to when you were married is gross. No one is entitled to a standard of living, that’s life. That we can be divorced and I can lose my job but still have to pay to keep you living how we were when we were married and I was employed…its insane.
22. Sex toys for girlsnormal. Sex toys for guysweird loser.
When a girl buys a vibrator, its seen as a bit of naughty fun. BUT when a guy orders a 240 Volt FuckMaster Pro 5000 blowup latex doll with 6 speed pulsating vagina, elasticized anus with non-drip semen collection tray, together with optional built in realistic orgasm scream surround sound system, he’s called a pervert?
23. A guy who plays video games for hours has a problem; a woman who watches Netflix all night doesnt.
When I play 3 hours of video games I have a problem. When my wife watches 5 hours of Netflix every night its not a problem. Edit: I agree this is not a gender thing. Sorry about answering the question wrong. There is a double standard with gaming/television watching though.
24. Men are expected to just sit back and let women hit them. If they complain, theyre a pussy; if they hit back, theyre a monster.
Domestic Violence. I just got out of an abusive relationship two weeks ago and I’m shocked at how hard it was for me to talk about it and get taken seriously with my peers. She was so mean and I’m the exact opposite these days. Only today have I felt validated for everything when I happened upon a counselor on another thread. I feel terrible about myself still and apparently that’s normal. I’m 6’4″ and a professional bouncer/bodyguard but let me tell you. Men can be abused just as easily as women. It was so bad I’m spending my lunch break here and trying to find a support group. The abuse was mental and very physical. Because I’m a large man though no one would take me seriously. It was always my fault, always me to blame. The preconceived general thought is that men are tough and can handle it. If not then I’m made to feel emasculated and told I’m a pussy. The truth is I just don’t believe in harming people I care about. I’m ranting now because I still can’t really talk about it to anyone. It’s a sad and shitty double standard. No one should have to deal with abuse.
25. Part of being a man is being disposable and no one giving a fuck if your life ends up ruined.
That part of being a man is being disposable and no one giving a fuck if your life ends up ruined.
We hear talk all the time about the gender earnings gap, women’s right to bodily autonomy (via abortions and access to birth control), and other women’s issues, and those are all important things to discuss.
What we don’t hear as often is the fact that 84% of the homeless are men, 92% of workplace fatalities happen to men, 91% of people in prison are men, etc.
We talk about the subtle forms of discrimination in society that result in women choosing to pursue careers which don’t compensate them financially the same way that careers popular with men dobut we never talk about the subtle forms of discrimination that cause men to at a rate nearly an order of magnitude higher than women.
26. When a woman is raped its a tragedy; when a man is raped its a joke.
When a woman is raped its a tragedy; when a man is raped its a joke. When a woman falsely reports a rape, it ruins the man’s life, she gets off scot-free or a tiny jail term.
27. Men who take selfies are much more likely to be accused of narcissism.
I have to say that the standard of what is acceptable on social media. If a female Instagram profile is full of 400 attractive selfies, people are not as critical of the narcissistic side of the pictures as much as they would if it were a guy. Not that I would want to post 400 selfies, but constantly posting pictures of yourself in specific poses isn’t a form of modeling or self-love as much as it is an expression of narcissism.
28. Theres no demand for plus size male models.
How we apparently need plus sized models to represent all women’s body types, but the thought of having male models with beer bellies and no rippling muscles/6 packs is disgusting.
29. Women get shorter sentences for the same crimes as men.
Women who can’t pay child support go to special homes. Men who can’t pay child support go to prison.
Women get shorter sentences for the same crimes as men, such as murder, rape, theft, or simple misdemeanors. Sometimes they aren’t punished at all
If a drunk male and a drunk female have sex, the female could charge for rape since she could not consent even though both parties voluntarily intoxicated themselves. This isn’t a common problem but it happens more than it needs to
Female requirements for the military, police, and fire responders are easier. During basic training in the army I saw a dude carrying 2 rucksacks (google it) and a girl walking behind him with nothing on her back.
Male rape victims are ignored or taken less seriously
Sexual harassment in the workspace happens to men and to women, men are just less likely to report it since they’re taken less seriously.
There are female quotas for CEO jobs, which inadvertently puts more qualified men out of a job in the name of gender equality.
Men pay higher auto premiums.
Women in divorce courts are more likely to win custody.
Men who want to teach young children are weird creepy pedophiles.
30. Its not OK to think a girl is too fat, but its OK for her to think guys are too short.
Its not OK to think a girl is too fat, but its OK for her to think guys are too short.
31. If a guy cries or shows any emotion whatsoever, he’s weak or not masculine.
That if a guy cries or shows any emotion whatsoever, he’s weak or not masculine. Fuck that. Guys are humans, not robots. They should be as expressive with their feelings as they want with whoever they want. I’d argue that trying to repress your own vulnerabilities is the real weakness.
32. Women who make rape accusations are automatically believed, even if theyre lying.
I fucking hate it that a woman can accuse a man of rape, and everyone’s on her side without a doubt, even if she’s lying. Flip it around, and the first thing the guy gets thrown in his face is probably something like You’re supposed to enjoy it, or You let a woman take control of you? That’s more scarring to the man than it is to the womanat least people take the woman’s word for it.
33. On a sinking ship, its women and children first.
The biggest double standard to me is ‘saving the women and children first.’ Why does a man’s life suddenly have less value in these sorts of situations?
34. Pro-choice? Men have absolutely no choice in the matter.
If an unmarried couple becomes pregnant the woman has 100% of the choice to keep the baby or have an abortion. If the man wants the baby and the woman doesn’t the man is out of luck. If the man doesn’t want the baby and the woman does the man is on the hook for 18 years of child support. Controversial I know, but I’d like to hear thoughts.
Source: http://allofbeer.com/2017/07/16/34-men-discuss-societys-insane-double-standards-that-favor-women-and-hurt-men/
from All of Beer https://allofbeer.wordpress.com/2017/07/16/34-men-discuss-societys-insane-double-standards-that-favor-women-and-hurt-men/
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