#they made me feel bad about maria how do they keep doing this this year

[skeletonpendeja]

Local librarian looking mom takes her angry son to see his favorite movie

[mochamadeleines]

Sweethearts and Sweet Dreams <3

“Nothin’?”

“Mhm.”

“Whats behind your back then?”

You sway in place, trying to suppress a knowing smile. “I dont have anything behind my back.” (6.4k words)

tags!! - 18+ modern au! Husband! Joel Miller, Wife! Reader, you guys are happy and in love!, mutual obsession if u squint, lots of exposition im so freaking sorry, pervert Joel if u squint, praise kink joel if you squint, dumbification if you squint, written for those with daddy issues lowkeeyyyyy, written with game joel in mind but could be hbo joel no problem!, lowk i combined the two in my mind, mentions of shy old man joel, housewife! reader (by choice), unspecified age gap but reader is like. thirty? and joels Like...55??, talk about joel taking medication for his anxiety, p in v sex, dirty talk, public sex, outdoor sex, joel has a kink for dresses because i said so? service top joel if you squint, pet names, a pinch of jealousy and possessiveness for fun, playful banter, mentions of maria and tommy and their baby with a made up name Lol, mentions of ellie and sarah (rip), mentions of readers past abusive relationships, talk about joel struggling with substance abuse/addiction and being hospitalized.....Im sure u can theorize why </3, lots of lore ill get into in another fic MAYBE *smirks*, flip flop in perspective, sometimes showing what joel is thinking or what reader is thinking blah blah

authors notes!! - hi there!!! im mocha and this is my first joel fic ever + my first fic posted to tumblr!! im really nervous cuz i havent written anything in months and ive never written joel before so please let me know if you like it!! id love to write more of this au for u guys if theres a demand for it...Thank u for reading!! also barely proof read im ngl. ive been staring at this fic all day im sick of itttt. p.s i dont usually write smut i also kinda do idfk Is this bad or am i tweaking

You step out of the house, morning sun soaking into the roots of your hair and the driveway beneath your feet. Theres a package youve been waiting for. 

You cant contain your grin as you wiggle it out of the hot prison that is your mailbox.

“What the hell are you doin’ out there barefoot?” Joel chastises you from the front door, leaning his elbow on the frame. Joel, your lovely husband of two years. Been together for five. And because of how hard he works, you have the privilege of being a stay at home wife. Some people think that sort of life is stifling, but youve never felt so free. No more jobs you hate, no more financial struggles. Just you, Joel, and your cat, Cement. He likes to pretend it isnt a totally hilarious name for a pet.

You were his first relationship in almost a decade, so it was a lot of work helping him unpack his anxieties about dating, and a lot of work for you to feel safe and unafraid. Honestly? Youve been mistreated by enough men to land you in the psychward.

But Joel never yells at you, he never breaks things when hes angry or threatens to hurt you. He might raise his voice every now and again, but its never because of something you did. Sometimes the stress of life is just too much. 

He works hard, he loves his daughter- daughters- and he would do anything to keep you happy. Whatever you say goes, he says. Even now, you hardly argue. Of course you have disagreements, or off days thatd lead to one of you being especially moody, but the both of you do your best to communicate.

Behind that rough exterior, is someone who just wants to be needed. 

You first met Joel at a youth center you volunteered at, he taught guitar, you taught arts and crafts. Joel says it was your smile and sense of humor that charmed him. It was his singing and southern accent for you.

Your favorite thing about Joel is how soft he gets around you. He says its because you make it easy to be soft. 

Joel was a shy lover at first. He would get nervous just kissing you, or holding your hand. While most people become intimate very early on in their relationship, you and Joel didnt do anything sexual for the first five months of you dated. Sure, you almost did, plenty of times, but he would get so overwhelmed and cut things short. You broke two of your vibrators during this era of your relationship. Embarassing.

You remember your first time very vividly. Joel had worked back to back doubles trying to meet a deadline, and on the final day, after having barely spoken to you for almost a week, you had shown up to his house, unannounced. You were wringing water out of your jacket when he swung the door open. 

“How-” Joel blinks a few times, stepping forward to examine the rainfall. “How long you been out here?”

“Not that long,” You lie and pick up the container you brought off the porch chair. Part of you had a hard time mustering up the courage to even knock on the door. Droplets of water cascade down your chin. “Hi, sorry. I know youre tired.”

He shakes his head, voice soft and warm. “S’fine. Now c’mon, youre gonna get sick.”

Youre seated at the little dining table next to the kitchen now, trying to let the sound of the rainfall ease your nerves.

Joel was quick to grab you a towel, and does the honors of drying your face and hair with it. “Why didnt you jus’ call me? Woulda gotten out of the shower faster if i knew you were gettin’ soaked out there like this.”

“I dunno, sorry.”

“An’ whatd i tell you about apologizin’ all the time?”

“Sor- Uh. Right. Okay.” You tighten your jaw. No more.

Joel moves behind you, now squeezing water out the ends of your hair. “Whas’ that?”

“Oh!-” You peel back the lid, showing it to him. “Old fashion cake donuts are your favorite right? I remember you saying you liked eating them with your coffee in the mornings so…I made these. Youve been working a lot lately and I wanted to do something nice for you.”

Joel gingerly grasps the container from your hands, looking into it. Theyre a warm golden brown, outside evenly fried, and the sweet scent of them hits his nose right away.

“I was just gonna leave them on the doorstep and call you to tell you they were there, but I wanted to see you.”

His adam's apple bobs as he swallows the dryness in his throat. Youre too good for him. 

“Thank you very much.” He presses a kiss to your damp hair. “Now, lets get you into some dry clothes.”

Joel gives you a t-shirt and a pair of his boxers to keep you modest while your clothes wash and dry. 

You wait patiently on his bed for the hot chocolate he promised you before you showered. Theres nothing to watch on the tv, so you just turn it off and reach for the lamp on his nightstand instead. 

He comes in quietly, and sets the mug down beside the lamp. You finally come into focus, clear as day even under the low lighting.

“You uh.. You look nice.”

You blink. “I look nice?”

“In my shirt.”

That gets a smile out of you. 

Joel tips his head towards the mug. “S’hot so, give it a few minutes. Dont want you burnin’ your mouth.”

You nod. “Okay.”

Hes sat beside you now and the two of you sit in silence for a while. Its not awkward, just the kind of silence where both of you want to say something but just.. Cant.

Joel unravels first. “Missed you, y’know. Just been tired.”

“I know.” Your voice wobbles, and Joels jaw tightens like hearing you sound so sad stings him. “I missed you, too.” 

He slides his hand over yours, giving it a squeeze. Its okay. 

“Hey Joel...Can I stay the night?” 

“Sure. Id really like that.”

While you drink your hot chocolate, you and Joel catch up. You both talk about work, and about your new found interest in baking. Joel teases you about your lack of cooking skills, you do the same. Youre both useless. 

When its time to climb into bed, neither of you can actually fall asleep. Joel rolls onto his side, away from you and the window. You follow, curling up like a little cat against his back. The sensation is nice for the both of you.

You speak up after a little while.

“Joel?”

“Mm.”

“Thank you for letting me stay.”

He scoffs, voice thick with exhaustion. “Like I'd force you to leave after you brought me such a nice present.”

You let out a little giggle, “So if i didnt, youd kick me out?”

“Id think ‘bout it.”

You gasp, gently shoving at his back. “Thats mean…!”

“S’really not.”

“Oh yeah? And what if I poisoned them?.”

“Then itd jus' be a regular day of your cookin’ then.” Joel reminds you, lighthearted. Too many times where you left the shells in your eggs or burnt toast or left the bacon on the pan for too long.

“You cant get mad at me for my dark past when you made a perfectly good sirloin taste like horse leather.”

“Ugh. Dont remind me. That was like putting a one-hundred dollar bill into a paper shredder. How do either of us stay alive again?”

“Uh. Digiorno?”

“Digiorno.”

After a few moments, Joels rolling over again, and hes guiding your head to settle against his chest. Your arms wrap around him, and his arms around you. 

“Joel,” You whisper. He hums. “Im cold.”

“S’cause youre not wearin’ any pants.”

“And whos fault is that?”

“Still yours.”

“I was left out in the rain like a sad, sopping wet cat. One that was left in a box all alone with no family…” You pretend to sniffle. “Dont you feel bad for me?”

Joel sighs, not saying anything more except making sure the part of the comforter behind your back is tucked into your side so the cold air doesnt get in. When hes done, you do a little shimmy up his body, and throw your leg over his hip. Oh no.

Hes alert now. Very alert. Be normal. Joel hesitates, licking the dryness off his lips. “Uh. Feel better?”

“Mhm.” You push your face into his throat, cat-like, before settling down again. Hes like a radiator.

Actually scratch that, he cant be normal. 

“Darlin’.” He rasps, patting your back to get your attention.

“Mm?”

“Your leg. Move it.”

A few beats pass. “Why?”

“Because…” Wow,  he didnt think hed get this far. You shift forward and Joel lets out a quiet exhale through his nose, one that couldve been masked by the rain if you werent so close.

“Are you-”

“No! No. Its- Its not what you think-” He cant see your face in the darkness but he knows you feel the semi-hard struggling through the confines of his pants. Lame.

“Joel,” You say, soft. Your hands slide up his arm to cradle his jaw. Lightning flashes into the room, giving you a glimpse of Joels tight expression. He whispers your name back, just as soft.

“This is normal.” 

Its normal, it is! Except for the fact that you guys havent had sex yet. The stress of being intimate is too much, kills his boner in a blink. The longer he waits the worse the anxiety gets.

“I-I know.”

You place a hand on his chest, feeling it pound away like crazy through all the soft muscle.  

“Youve been taking your medication, right?”

Has he?

The silence of him thinking is proof enough. “Joel-”

He sighs, rubbing his eyes through the darkness .“I know, I know. Shoot, Im sorry. I just forget sometimes.”

“Its okay.” The pad of your thumb strokes the tops of his cheek, and you press a tender kiss to his mouth to soothe him.  “...Want me to remind you?”

The softness of your lips has him a bit dazed. “Huh?”

“I said, do you want me to remind you? I can- You know, call you before you leave work. Make sure you take them.”

“You know I wake up at five-o-clock in the mornin’ , right?”

“I know.” 

In a whisper, “Okay.”

Joels rough palms trail down your back and stop at the curve of your butt, finger tips delicately tracing the skin above your shorts. You shiver.

Barely above a whisper. “We dont have to go all the way.”

He says your name again, laced with worry. He doesnt want you to feel pressured. 

You pull your leg off his hip and push yourself up, settling your hands on either side of Joels head.

“Can I tell you something?”

“Yes-”

“-And you cant get all in your head about it. You stay here, with me. You stay present.”

“Okay, okay.” He nods, a bit defeated. “I will stay present.”

“When you...When you say you dont wanna have sex, what is it that youre thinking exactly? I know you said you just get really nervous but I feel like youre not being totally honest.”

Joel stays quiet, idly rubbing your sides. Maybe you are a cat. Just getting to feel any part of you is soothing. “I jus’ want you to feel good. ‘Fraid ill do somethin’ you dont like.”

“You cant assume how I feel, Joel. Being intimate.. It takes time to learn what the other person likes.”

He sighs. “I know.” Youre always right.

Adding on, “Like I said, we dont have to go all the way,” You lean further back, situating yourself on his hips. He lets out a shaky breath when he feels the pressure of your ass through his sweats.

“But, I want to start somewhere. I want to feel you.” 

“Fuck- Um-” Hes shaking now, letting you grind your hips down onto him. Joel cant seem to control the way his hips instinctively push up to meet yours. Youre both becoming of a mess of little gasps and hot breaths and tiny whimpers already.

You hunch forward, guiding his hand under your your shirt- His shirt- letting him feel up the supple skin of your stomach, then the area where your ribs are, then your-

“And I want you to feel me,”

Surprisingly, you did actually go all the way that night.

Your sex life was a bit of a rocky start, but after Joel got over most of his anxiety, you learned quickly just how goddamn insatiable he was. Five years in and he still regularly makes you sore. 

There are a couple things you learned about him and his sexual interests. He loves to take you in his truck, in your kitchen, in your bathroom, on your couch. Other, riskier places. Anywhere that isnt your bed apparently, not that he isnt fucking you there either.

Joel is handsy, so handsy infact it embarasses you to no end, especially when youre infront of others. Thats usually how it starts, too. First he kisses you, then gropes your hips and your ass, and the next thing you know, youre cumming on his fingers. Then hed bend you over, or get you on your back, or make you ride him. Is it really riding if hes just slamming up into you until your brain turns into mush?

He likes that too. Making you not think.

Youd be lying if you said its only ever him. Sleepy morning handjobs before work, whining to him over the phone and touching yourself to his voice, arching your back into him while you're washing dishes, sucking him off after hours in his office.

And while most men prefer lingerie or little costumes, Joel likes dresses. Dresses that are discreet so he can take you in the backyard when he comes home early and sees you gardening. Or when youre both at a friends house and hes had a little too much to drink and finds himself alone with you. Dresses that make it easy to play his favorite game with you. I touch you, and you make sure we dont get caught by being too loud. Joel really is the worst sometimes.

Now, you only ever wear pants when its cold, or to bed or sometimes when youre lounging, like today. Youre in some shorts and a tank top. Otherwise, its dresses all year round, usually retro styles or ones meant for spring. Joels not picky though, he loves any dress on you.

Even if you wear an extremely modest, white lacey sleep dress, looking like some kind of vintage ghost, the man would still keep you up all night. And he has. He said you looked like a princess. You guess you kind of did.

The entire thing is like an unspoken arrangement between you both. He doesnt tell you to wear them, you just do.

And he works hard to spoil you, so why not buy as many cute dresses as possible? 

You got a cute dress today too, on the same day Joel has off. You think its going to be a new favorite of his.

The big polymailer stays hidden behind your back. Be casual. “Uh- Nothing!”

“Nothin’?”

“Mhm.”

“Whats behind your back then?”

You sway in place, trying to suppress a knowing smile. “I dont have anything behind my back.”

“Lemme see then. Show me your hands-”

“Hey, Mrs. Miller!”

Both you and Joel turn your heads to the voice, and only one of you has the energy to fake a a smile. Your neighbor is stopping in his driveway, having come back from a jog it looks.

“Hi, Lee.” 

Joel really, really, really doesnt like Lee. You dont like him either, but youre not one to cause problems. Lee on the other hand, is. Hes a bit younger than you, and a lot younger than Joel. Hes one of those tech dudes with a massive ego, thinks that youll be swayed by his money and his “charm” and youth as if youre some sad housewife in need of saving. Gross. 

And another thing, Lee doesnt even actually live here! Hes here ever so often to visit his dad between, you dont know, tech expos? You forget. Joel believes he started showing up more often to see you. 

Youre walking towards the porch again. Joels looking especially unhappy to see him today, knuckles pulled taut into a fist. His lips stay pressed into a thin line, careful not to let anything slip out. He usually lets you do most of the talking, as much as it pains him. 

Joels really not a fan of the way Lees eyes take a trip up your bare legs. Little shit.

“Out with no shoes again, Mrs. Miller?”

“You know me, Im uh- Im weird.”

“The weird ones do it best.” He smiles, all teeth. It gives you the creeps. His attention is on Joel now. Its like watching a puppy try to one up a wolf. “Right, Joel?”

“Uh huh.” Whatever that means.

“Actually, I've been meaning to ask you something, Mrs. Miller.” Lee crosses into your driveway and you glance briefly at Joel, as if to make sure he isnt going to start growling at the other to stay away. Youre clutching the package to your chest now. 

“Have you ever been to a support group for uh- you know, the spouses of addicts?  I have a friend from work and shes really struggling.” 

Lees tone is sugary sweet, but the fake kind you put in diet soda except that stuff is way better. Joel sighs from the door. You stand there, dumbfounded on the porch steps because what the fuck is he going on about. 

You clear your throat, keeping your voice firm. “No. Ive never needed to.”  

Joels voice cuts in like a knife. “Been clean for almost twenty years now.”

“Yeah but, you know,” He shrugs, squinting a bit under the morning sun. “Relapses happen.”

Joel and Lee are at a stand still, and the moment Joel lets the arm leaning on the frame drop to his side, you know youre in for a lot of trouble. You move quickly towards the door. “We have to get ready for a- uh- a thing? but Im sorry about your friend.”

“Thank you, Mrs. Miller. Im doing my best to support her.” And before he turns away, he just has to be slimy to you. “If you need someone to talk to, Im here for you.”

“No, that really wont be necess-”

Joels slinging a strong arm around you to yank you back inside before shutting the door. 

“Motherfucker,” He hisses to himself, stomping through the walkway and into the kitchen.

“How-” You rub your eyes, letting them adjust to the light inside of the house. You put the package down onto the bar counter that opens up the kitchen and follow Joel to the fridge. “How does he know?? I thought-”

“Been living in this house for decades now,” His expression is tight, brows knitted together while he chugs a bottle of water. “People talk. ‘Specially if I'm being rolled into an ambulance on more than one occasion.” Joel frowns. “Fuck- I shoulda punched him in the fuckin’ face- Do you see how hard he tries so hard to flirt with you infront’a me?”

“I know, love. I was there.” You take the bottle from his hand and set it to the side, then wrap your arms around him. “Try not to let it get to you okay?”

Joel sighs into your hair, giving your body a squeeze. “I know, I know, but jus’ hearin’ him tryin’ta use my baggage to make a pass at you…S’fuckin’ evil.”

“I agree, but I dont want his blood on the driveway.”

“So get it on his driveway instead, got it.”

You giggle and tip your head up to kiss him. The tension eases from Joels shoulders, and he cups your cheeks, letting his worries melt away into your mouth. When the pads of his fingers start to slide under your tank top, youre leaning back. Youll be here for a while if this goes any further.

Joel mindlessly chases your lips, looking a bit pouty now that its over.

“Im gonna start getting ready for the barbecue, okay?”

“This early?”

“I like being punctual.” 

“My brother wont give a damn if were late.” He noses your jaw, pressing a kiss here and there. Your knees are beginning to feel weak. The bastard is trying to distract you.

“But I do. The farmers market opened today, and I promised Maria I'd get her fresh strawberries before we got there, remember?”

“Alright, alright.” He grumbles into your shoulder.

Joel lets you go, watching you round the bar counter to get your package and disappear upstairs.

-

Ever since you came down to a freshly showered Joel, and got into the car with the gift bags you prepared for Maria and Tommy, Hes been staring at you. One wrong move and the drools gonna start pouring out of his mouth.

Your hair is in its relatively natural state, freshly washed and shiny from the oil you put in it. You put on some light makeup, and went a bit heavy handed on the blush to look sunkissed, and topped it off with a flavored lip gloss Joel especially enjoys. 

Now, the dress. Its a pink floral mid-length dress, with a low cut sweetheart neckline and a corset style backing to cinch your waist and push out your chest. The material is thick and pretty, and there are two other layers under the skirt to keep its shape. You have on a pair of little pink pumps with little bows to match. 

The drive to the farmers market is fairly peaceful, the windows are half down and theres music playing at low volume on the radio. You and Joel have different tastes in music, but one genre you can always agree on is alternative rock. 

The weathers beautiful, sun high in the sky, and its not too hot or humid. The day really is perfect. Youre gonna soak up some sun when youre at the barbecue. Hopefully, they made lemonade again too.

Joel has been mostly quiet throughout your shopping. While it would worry some, youve been with him long enough to know that he just has a lot on his mind. What hes thinking about? Maybe youll learn when you make it back home at the end of the day.

You gasp, strolling through the grass to a stand with a mountain of apples. Granny smith, Macintosh, Pink Ladys, Honeycrisp, the works. He grunts, trying to keep the things that are already in your basket steady. You came for strawberries and are going to leave with much more than that.

Joel nudges you softly. “Remember, this is quality stuff, meaning itll go bad faster. Dont get too much.”

“Okay, got it.” You beam, and then begin inspecting the Pink Lady apples first, trying to find the ones with the best color.  He keeps the basket within reach so you can drop your picks in.

"These were Sarahs favorites."

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah, it was funny 'cause we started arguin' over these or Red Delicious. I think Red Delicious is better."

"Thats so cute! Hmm. Should we get one for her? A Pink Lady?"

"Uh," He thinks on it for a moment, unsure, but the smile on your face helps him make a decision. "Sure, why not."

You drop two perfect Pink Ladys into the basket, moving onto the next pile.

“Hey, Joel.” You grin, holding out a wrinkled granny smith apple. “This one looks like you”

“Ha ha.” He deadpans, and grabs it from you to put back. In turn, hes reaching for the runt of the pile. A pathetically small one sitting near the bottom. “Now this one looks like you.”

“Does not!”

“Does too.” 

The next stand has golden kiwis, and youre practically dragging Joel forward to try them. You ask for one, and the man at the stand slices it into halves, giving you a plastic spoon to go with. 

You let Joel smell it first. “S’good.”

“Lets see if it tastes good.”

You sink your spoon into it, humming when you see how soft and easy it is to scoop out. In your mouth it goes!

Its tastes sweet, a bit mango-y and fucking delicious. You bounce in place, spoon feeding Joel next. “Oh yeah,” He smiles, smacking his lips a bit to really let the taste settle on his tongue. “Were takin’ some of these.”

You take one, then two, then three and four then five and as you reach for the sixth one, Joels stopping you with a gentle hand. 

“Darlin’.” 

“Right.” 

For the next few stands its just you and Joel trying various kinds of fruit. Starfruit, blueberries, some mangos, and then youre going back to the truck.

“I think my favorites were the mangos and golden kiwis. I hope Maria and Tommy have enough space in their fridge for all of this.”

“They moved into a bigger house, I reckon their fridge s’probably bigger, too.”

“What time is it?” 

You let go of Joels arm so he can switch the basket from one hand to the other. 

“‘Bout…” Hes squinting at his watch. “12:34 in the afternoon.”

“Oh! Guess we got the shopping done sooner than I expected. Hmm. Should we stop somewhere in the mean time?-" You snap your finger when you remember something. "They opened up this cafe that has cats in it! We can drink coffee and play with them for bit! The next fourty-five minutes will go by super fast."

“Youre gonna make Cement jealous.”

You bat your hand dismissively. “Hes not gonna caaare.” 

“Oh yes he will. And remind me again why we named our cat Cement?

“Uh, we were both drunk and had gotten him the day before without a name picked out?”

“A whole year later and we still kept it. Worst pet owners ever.” Joel chuckles, opening the passenger door for you like he always does. 

“Thank you.”

“Mhm.”

The giant basket of fruit goes into the back seat next to the gift bags before Joel slots himself into the drivers seat. 

You fumble with the radio a bit, trying to see what else is on but ultimately landing back on your preferred station. Theyve been playing a lot of Linkin Park recently. Hell yeah. Joel buckles himself in at last, and pulls out of the parking lot. 

“Marias gonna teach me how to make baked chicken,” You hum, gazing outside the window.

“You sure youre not jus’ unteachable?”

“Ha ha,” You lightly shove his shoulder, making him smile. “I thought you loved the meat sauce pasta I learned how to make.”

He settles into his seat more comfortably at the stop light, elbow rested on the window. “Got me with that one. Think I like ground turkey over beef, though.”

“Yeah? Me too. The beef tastes better but the turkey is lighter. Stops me from feeling all sick.”

“Agreed.”

Youre looking out the windshield now. Where did all the buildings go? Youre out of the city. 

“Uh, Joel?”

“Mm?”

“Where are we going?”

“Somewhere to kill time.”

“Yeah but where?”

“Youll see.” 

Your brows pinch together. “I see a whole lot of nothing except for trees."

“Almost there.”

Joel makes a hasty left turn onto some campgrounds. Your stomach starts to twist into excited knots. Is he gonna show you a baby deer or something? Bunnies? He used to be a park ranger for this area, and would tell you stories about all sorts of baby animals hed run into.

The car comes to a stop, and he turns the engine off. Silence.

“So…Were out in the woods to kill time?”

“Mhm.” Joel unbuckles his seat belt and twists into the back to grab the spare jacket he usually keeps there, then gets out of the truck and comes around the back to open the door for you. 

He holds your hand to help you get down from the passenger side, and as soon as both of your shoes hit the ground Joel is on you. 

You dont know where your hands should go, youve kissed Joel a thousand times and yet you still get so flustered when he catches you by surprise. You keep your hands on his shoulders for now, letting him press wet kisses to your neck and shoulder.

“This is new right? The dress?” He gives your ass an appreciative squeeze through the fabric. “Thought you looked so pretty when you came down stairs in it.” 

Your heads spinning. Something about your dress? 

“Woulda been okay if you let me have you earlier.” He pulls away, examining your flushed face cradled by his hand. Every part of you just fits so well in his palms. “Then I thought, why not have you now? We got time to spare.”

“Joel- We- Someone could see us-” You sputter, and Joels already shaking his head with a knowing smirk. He pulls you around to the bed of the truck, popping it open, only pausing to spread open the jacket he grabbed, just having just thrown it in there when he came around to get you.

“No ones gonna come lookin’ for us.” He turns you around, pushing you down onto your front. “As long as youre quiet.” 

Fuck. You really hate this game. At least, you like to tell yourself that.

Blood rushes to your ears while Joels rough palms lift up the skirt of your dress, exposing your ass and thighs to the cool air. He whistles from behind you. 

“Red lace panties?” His fingers dont shy away from tracing along the fabric covering your cunt. “This new too?”

You crane your neck over your shoulder to look at his face. “Uh.. Surprise?”

Joels smiling now, fingers dipping under the lace. “Thas' awfully sweet of you.”

His touch slips and slides around your growing wetness, then trails down to your clit. Your voice wobbles a bit and fuck- fuck hes going too fast. “Joel- Ah-” You whimper and try to push yourself up to look at him but his hand is steady on your spine, keeping you down. 

Smug, “Go on, sweetheart. Keep sayin’ my name. Jus’ like that.”

A whine escapes you when he pulls away, “Nooo.” You push your ass back, as if to entice him. You succeed, because hes skipped his usual routine of fucking you with his hands and is now unbuckling his belt.

Joel rolls you onto your back, and peels your underwear all the way off, bunching it up and shoving it into his back pocket. Your face burns just watching him.

“Think i'll hold onto these for a lil’ while.”

His hands push the back of your knees towards your chest, exposing your heat. Youll never get used to the way he just seems so interested just watching your cunt squeeze around nothing. 

“Thats-” You swallow, pushing yourself up onto your elbows. "Joel.”

“Relax." He coos, "Seen it a thousand times already, and ill be seein' it a thousand more. Get used to it, honey.”

Your attention flickers down to where his dick is about to meet your entrance. Joels nudging you down onto your back again and pulling the top of your dress down to expose your chest. Its when youre distracted that he actually moves to push himself in.

Both of you groan together, and Joel could never get bored of fucking you, not when your cunt just pulses around him everytime hes inside you.

Joel wastes no time fucking you once he eases all the way inside. Youre trying your best to keep quiet. Shit is no easy task. Its like Joel is trying to get you guys arrested.

He props himself up with a hand near your head, and lets the other keep one of your legs pinned open. The moans start to claw out of your throat. “Joel- Joel-” 

“Shh. Thas’ enough.” He growls through his teeth, fucking you harder. “Youre gonna- Gh- Get us caught-”

Something rustles between the trees, making you both freeze. You clasp your hands over your mouth, watching Joel straighten up to look around.

After a few seconds of squinting, Joel can see a few foxes moving about through the trees. Thank fuck. His shoulders visibly relax.

Hushed, “E-Everything okay?”

“Yeah, jus’ some animals.” 

And like that, hes back to it. His dick is going to make your eyes permanently stay rolled into your head. 

Joel is always just so handsome when hes pounding into you. His forehead gets shiny with sweat, and his jaw is tight from clenching his teeth, keeping himself quiet so he can focus on your moans. His face is noticeably redder against his usual farmers tan too. Really, hes just so attractive.

A flurry of yes and harder and fuck spills out of your mouth and into your palms. Not too loud, you try to remind yourself.

“Joel- S’too much-”

“Nah, thas’ not it.” He huffs, humorous. “You can take it. Y'always do. In fact, you love gettin’ your cunt bullied by me, aint that right?” As if to get his point across, he thrust in all the way to the hilt, making you keen. You forgot how to breathe, lungs drawing tight in your chest.

"Fuck," You manage to squeeze out.

Your palms push weakly at his shoulders, trying to ground yourself somehow. His head drops to the junction of your neck and shoulder, inhaling deeply.

“You good?” He checks in, breath hot on your skin. As if your crying isnt enough.

“So g-good, Joel- Fuck- Youre so good.” 

With a little nod, Joels pushing himself up, switching to slow and deep strokes, really digging himself into you, and trying to find that spot he likes to call home.

He massages your chest, then squeezes your sides and your hips and finally, his thumb finds your clit. Immediately, you jolt. 

“Oh fuck-” 

“Quiet.” And he says it to keep the charade going, even though his favorite thing is hearing your sobs.

His thumb rubbing incessantly against your that sweet little nub of yours. You choke, and Joels chuckling, watching the way you squirm, body not knowing whether it should lean into his touch because its too good or away because its too much.

It starts with this firey feeling under the pad of his thumb, then deep inside your stuffed cunt. Youre going to cum. 

Your hands fly to your mouth again, and you get all wide eyed from the sensation. Its cute. Your muscles pull taut, legs locking around Joels hips. Youre wailing into your palm when it happens.

“Good girl,” His voice soothes you through it. “Very good.”

He pets away the fly aways sticking to your sweaty face when its over. Your eyes drop shut while you catch your breath. 

Joels moving again now. He rolls his hips a few times, and thumb is building the foundation of another orgasm in you. Youre shaking badly.

Your words slur too, “Cant- Too soon- Joel- Joel-”

“Another one.” Joel says firmly, but breathless. 

Youre gasping, not sure where to focus your eyes. The trees around you look like theyre spinning. Your attention is back on Joel, whos looking rather satisfied watching you squirm and cry. If thats how wants to play, then fine.

Your hands slide up Joels biceps, and rests on the nap of his neck to bring him down. “Juh-Joel,” You pant, cradling his face with both hands. “Youre so good- The best-”

Oh, Joel likes that one, you can tell by the way he looks away briefly. Shyness. Excitement runs up your spine. Joel loves being told hes doing well. 

“You are- Nghh-” You swallow the drool in your mouth, trying to get the words out clearly. “The best husband I could ever ask for.”

Joel wheezes, head dropping into the curve of your shoulder. “Please.”

“S’true,” You nod rapidly, fingers curling into his hair. “Youre so good to me and-and youre mine and- Joel-  Im yours.”

“Jesus-” He groans, soaking up the feeling of you pressing kisses to his face and up his jaw. 

“Hhah-  No one else can have me, okay? No one- Not even-”

The name doesnt even come out of your mouth before Joels coming to a stop to slip his arms all the way around your middle. With the new leverage he has on your body, hes drilling his way into you. You fucking squeal, rules now long forgotten. Youre a useless ragdoll in his arms and he wouldnt have it any other way.

Your lips are shiny with spit and left over lip gloss, and he can still taste the mintiness in his tongue. Every now and again your eyes drop shut, but his dick just punches into your guts a little harder. Look at me. 

Your brain is mush, just the way he likes it, and youre perfectly pliant in his arms, babbling over how good you feel. Hes kisses along the valley of your breasts now, stopping to suck the flesh of your nipples.

Youre just so pretty. Even when you have bedhead, or youre snotty from a cold, or youre all dirty from working in the garden  youre still so pretty. Including now, all sweaty with you lipgloss all smudged and your mascara starting to run. Youre perfect. 

Joel grunts loud, jaw clenched tight as he gets lost in the feeling of your insides. His perfect little wife.

When he cums, hes doubling over with a loud grunt, getting a few last thrusts in before his spent floods your cunt.

Youre blinking away your tears, now watching the clouds inch along the sky. It really is a beautiful day. You pet Joels sweaty hair, and kiss the side of his temple. Your core throbs faintly. Jesus, he did a number on you.

“Love,” You say softly, patting his back.

“Mm?”

“Get up.” Another pat. “Youre squishing me.” 

Joel backs off to buckle himself up, but you stay seated to catch your breath and adjust your dress. At least it didnt get ripped during all the… Commotion. Not like last time.

“I need my underwear back.”

“Nope,”

“Joel.”

He kisses the center of your forehead and helps you down from the bed and into the passenger seat instead.  “Told you i'm keepin’ ‘em.”

You sputter, “I cant go to barbecue commando!”

“Sure you can.” He pops open the glove compartment and gets out some tissues, hand snaking under your dress again to clean you. You sigh softly at the sensation.

“Youre the worst.”

“I am indeed the worst.” Joel pulls the seatbelt over your chest and clicks it in. “You can tell me all about it on the way to Tommys.” 

[eightstarr]

what's mine — ellie williams.

summary: the day you left for this assignment, ellie remembers thinking it would be okay— or maybe it was you who said it, your hands over her tense shoulders, her fingers tugging at your shirt, “you’ll be okay.” she goes home and knows it to be true, like words from a god. she’ll be okay and you’ll be back. what’s left to do but count the hours?

warnings: descriptions of violence (not very detailed), suggestive content near the end!

notes: uhhh i love being dramatic and i think it shows here. all i think about is the action of coming home to someone who loves you and how it is as meaningful now as it was a thousand years ago and as it will be in a hundred years but whatever haha sorry about that guys. if you read this i love you btw

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・。.・゜✧・. ────

Being without Ellie is disorienting. The first week feels like walking alone in a dark room, feeling the walls for a light switch, running into sharp corners that stab your sides. You miss her like it's a sickness, less a longing and more a threat to whatever you’re made of.

There's a small community way outside of Jackson offering a trade. Maria makes it sound simple, like everything else. “They know us, it’ll be quick. You pick up the supplies, drop off our part of the deal, and come back.”

It takes 26 days. The exchange is simple but the journey less so, you and three others have to carry home the much needed medical supplies through herds of infected and a heavy storm that slows you down and cuts off your communication for three terrifying nights.

Ellie wanders the house and feels like a stranger, sickly, a sleepless corpse searching for living blood. The light coming through the windows feels too bright and her skin abnormally cold. She knows, or thinks, that if she’s not careful she could get lost in it— merge every wall together until there’s nothing left to see but a stark flatness, an unfamiliar box. The space is not huge. It's not a tall castle or a manor in the countryside or anything fitting to the theatricality of loneliness, but it’s your home. So much of you is in it. Ellie finds herself focusing on a different thing each passing day, clinging to them with a nauseating desperation, a hundred random pieces of you scattered like breadcrumbs to keep her sane. A book with a folded corner somewhere along the first half of the story, your favorite mug next to the sink, an old pair of jeans ripped at the knee on your side of the drawer. Too many things for you not to come back.

“Do you think I'm losing my mind?” she asks, a soft wrinkle between her furrowed brows, her eyes focused on a random spot ahead. “I mean, it’s been two weeks,” she’s trying to sound like it's not as bad as it looks, like she finds any of it funny or interesting instead of plainly horrifying. The sole of her shoes hits the floor in an anxious rhythm, mocking her— tap, tap, tap, tap. “Isn’t that fucked up?”

Dina curses at the lighter until it flickers back to life with a weak orange flame, holding it near the end of the half finished blunt. She inhales and passes it over, breathing out, “You’re not crazy.”

A pause. Ellie lets the comment comfort her for a single second before it flies right through her head, sounding more quiet than usual when she admits, “...I have this feeling like someone took something from me.”

Dina raises her eyebrows, her chuckle cut off by a short cough, smoke itching her throat. “You mean, like… what’s her name?” she squints her eyes and tries to remember. 

The name worms around Ellie’s head like it has been for days, bold letters, clear as day. She makes no attempt to let it pass through her lips, self aware and unrelenting at the same time, maybe finding some indefensible satisfaction in the fact that it can be forgotten. Cruel, you'd tease, and Ellie would smirk a lot like she tries not to now.

Dina gives up a second later, “Whatever— the girl that volunteered to go with them before you could. You're blaming her?”

“I guess.”

“Hm. That’s a little…”

“Don’t say crazy—”

“Crazy.”

“Fuck you,” she rolls her eyes. “It’s not like that.”

“So you’re not jealous?”

Ellie scoffs, tongue pressed against the inside of her cheek. Dina argues unlike anyone else. She’s confident, her goal clear and her strategy already lined up before you get a word in, loaded like a gun. But her strongest contender, perhaps the only one, might be Ellie’s simple stubbornness. “I’m concerned. She got picked over me even though I've studied that route a hundred fucking times. I could've done a better job,” she says, steady and tireless like bulletproof glass.

“At getting the supplies or at taking care of your girlfriend?”

“You’re starting to sound like Maria.”

Dina pauses for a short moment before she shrugs. “Maria makes good points.”

Ellie takes one last hit of the blunt and flicks it across the room to die out somewhere on the permanently damp floor. She tries to believe it. No one took you, she thinks, you left dutifully like anyone else in Jackson would've, like Ellie would've. It’s a dangerous trip but a job like any other, the same risk of deadly infection that comes with any of them. She should be used to it by now. Does it not also exist every other day of the year?

Still, she can't remember the last time she didn't see your face for this long. You’ve been dating for a little over three years, living together for half of that— it's a terrifyingly meaningful chunk of your young lives, months and months of seeing you everyday, of falling asleep with her face on the crook of your neck and waking up with your fingers pressing into her waist. You've built a world where things like this don’t happen, where all Ellie can think about as she leaves home is the way you hum in the mornings, soft and sleepy and so fucking cute, when you wake up to her back against your chest and her hair on your face. She thinks about her own laugh, how shy it sounds, how your lips press to her head before she turns around to claim a proper kiss.

But now you’re not here, and she’s too terrified to even utter the words out loud, and there's a hole in her chest where you should be that makes her feel insane everywhere she goes. It's an open wound leaving a hazardous trail of shame and memories, humming in her ears like a boiling kettle, who took what's mine?

Ellie has never considered herself to be the jealous type, but she never was the type to sleep with her back turned to someone this comfortably, either. It’s different with you. It's theatricality, it’s the coldness of that bed at night, it’s your legs tangled with hers like growing roots now disjointed. It’s a thing, breathing and alive, screaming at nothing— I miss you, I miss you, I miss you.

Is that girl you went with hanging from your every word in that way she always does? Is that a shameful thought to have? Ellie wipes it clean in a second and finds it immediately there again, at the front of her mind like a message on a cloudy mirror. She can't think about anything else. Is the storm keeping the two of you awake? Does a part of you find the girl brave for volunteering? Is she turning to look at you and asking, just loud enough, are you asleep? That fall earlier was rough, how are you feeling? Is she looking at your wounds like they matter more than doing a good job? Is your blood, warm and red and yours, on her hands now?

The last of the smoke spills past her lips in a sigh. Ellie pulls her knees closer to her chest and tugs at the loose thread on your ripped jeans.

─────✧･ﾟ: *✧･

There’s a comfortable weight that keeps you under, the loving press of her arm resting over your chest, her thumb brushing your chin. The sun feels warm where it’s draped across Ellie’s back, white tank top wrinkled slightly up her waist.

She watches you until you let out a little sigh, squint one eye open and then slowly the next, a smile stretching your lips as soon as your sight focuses on her. She looks beautiful. She looks just like she did before you left, your girl.

It’s weird— you’ve showered, scrubbed your hands clean and raw, changed clothes. And still you feel like you’ve brought in something dirty, like it’ll be stuck on you for a while, the grime, the guns, the storm. Your muddy shoes must still be sitting by the front door. Something in your head screams that you should get rid of them, burn them like an evidence of guilt. Do you look anything like you did before you left? You feel like a worn version of yourself, sticky and darkened. It’s a ridiculous worry to have, but the thought comes hand in hand with embarrassment and you can feel it crawling up your neck. You cover your face with your hands and groan tiredly, shy.

Ellie laughs, warm like musk, salve on a wound.

"Are you watching me sleep?" you mutter, voice ridden with exhaustion and joy all at once. The thing, love, obsession, both— breathes along with you. "Freak."

"Yeah, I was,” she shifts to sit on your lap, one knee on either side of you, spilling her confession easily. Ellie leans over to push your hands away from your face and press her lips to yours, passionate but short lived, still softly brushing against each other when she says, "I missed this face."

You chuckle, eyes tracing over her freckled cheeks, hands squeezing her thighs, feeling strangely like you’re being washed clean. “I missed you.”

Ellie closes her eyes and rests her forehead against yours, her fingers caressing your cheeks, looking at you again when her thumb brushes against the ridge of a scar. It’s a warped line that almost follows the shape of your cheekbone, from your hairline to somewhere near the corner of your lips. She'd seen it last night, nauseous with worry and relief to have you back, her vision clouded. The morning reveals it in a different, heartbreaking light. It’s okay, you’d said during the night, your hands on either side of her face much like hers are on you now, didn't even need stitches. Ellie tries to let that sink in, make the guilt feel any better. But it can't. Maybe you’d been saved the prick of a needle, but she knows it still hurt, she knows it bled and stung. It feels like a betrayal. If I can't save you the pain, she thinks, I owe you the witnessing, the chance to clean its wry edges, pat it dry. "How'd you get this one?" she asks, as softly as she can.

You’d been prepared for the question but not the devastation in her eyes. It falls over you like a ton of bricks, her love making your chest ache and sinking you back into the memory.

There was an empty house, or what looked like one. Pieces of broken glass scattered over the rotting wood of an old, wobbly table. A man's hand placed forcefully on your head. The side of your face rammed into the table with a thud when he pushed you down, the faint pain of something slicing into your cheek made worse by your struggle to get free. A kick and he stumbled back. A slice of your knife and he fell dead. You don't think the fact will do much to comfort Ellie. So, in hopes of sparing her, you hum and shake your head. "Come here," you say, or beg, a hand on the back of her neck like fond guidance. "Let me kiss your pretty face."

She feels soft like satin on your lips, tastes like honey and black tea. Ellie kisses like she argues, experienced and unruly all at once, with a point to make— I need you and I want you to know it. Her tongue slips past your parted lips and brings a muffled sound from your throat that almost makes her pull slightly away, if it weren't for the feeling of your fingers tightening on her neck to have her closer. A faint thought crosses Ellie’s mind, a feeling like pity for the person she was before you, whoever that was, an old self who couldn't know what it's like to be devoured so caringly.

She brushes her nose against yours and you let out a sigh that sounds painfully like a prayer, her short hair a dark veil over your eyes when she turns her head to press kisses on your cheek. "You can't leave me like that again," she breathes out.

You swallow her words, a confused wrinkle between your eyebrows. “Ellie—”

A kiss cuts you off. You slide your hands up her thighs to her waist, a surprised hum vibrating against her lips when she wraps her fingers around your wrists and squeezes, as if to keep them there. She leans back and stares into you, and for the first time since you’ve known Ellie, you can't tell if she's commanding you or begging. “I won’t let you.”

It’s a gesture. It goes beyond the reality of your lives, the fact that any day either one of you could be made to leave again, that any day either one of you could die. It means I missed you. It means I need it to be me who looks after you. It means I love you.

Your stomach flutters, hungry with an urgent craving. And like you have every day since you’ve known Ellie, you find yourself unable to deny her love or the indulging promise of a different world— but maybe those mean the same thing. "I'm not leaving you," you say, breathless, and it might as well be true.

Ellie makes a sound in response that feels painfully close to a moan, a soft mmhm that clouds your head of anything that may or may not exist outside of this room. The tip of her nose brushes against your neck and then continues its way down, her fingers sneaking inside your shirt, pulling up the fabric and pressing kisses over the skin that’s revealed. "I love you," she says, almost near the band of your underwear, her blushed lips parted. You feel her breath against the burning fire in your lower stomach, reaching out to cradle her cheek against your hand. She feels hot, flushed pink under her freckles, and you’re not sure if she hears you say I love you, Ellie as much as she watches you mouth the words. She presses her face further into your hand, wetting her lips with the tip of her tongue, begging as if she’d ever have to, “Baby, I need— please.”

You don't hear yourself say yes, but the look in her eyes says you must have.

[pimosworld]

Pairing-Joel Miller x f!reader 

Summary- Joel’s a grump when it’s hot and also when he gets jealous. 

CW- 18+, No outbreak au, established relationship, mostly fluff, grumpy Joel, reader is not described, possessive Joel, family dynamics, illusions to smut, joel is down bad for reader. 

  WC-1.9k

 A/N- I can’t wait for summer so I wrote this little snippet into the life of the Joel I think about often. May do a spicy part two if the mood strikes me. 

[Main Masterlist][Joel Miller Masterlist]

Not beta read

Dog Days

He told you he’d behave. Begrudgingly and with promise that you’d make it up to him. That’s the only thought he clings to as he sits in this lawn chair that’s too small for him. The only seat away from everyone else so he doesn’t have to do the small talk thing. He can still see you though. Sun kissed and smiling at something Maria is saying. 

  He still doesn’t know how you do it, how you make it look so effortless even on the hottest day of the year. His shirt clings to him and he’s sweating in places he wouldn’t speak of out loud and you just stand there all heaven sent like it’s a different temperature in your world. 

  Your world bled into his before he knew what hit him. He started to enjoy sunsets and stopped to smell the flowers, because that’s what you liked to do and he quickly learned that anything that made you happy made him feel like the most fortunate man in the world. He’s fortunate to have you every morning, waking up curled into his side as you steal sleepy kisses along his chest and his arms. He pretends to be asleep for as long as he can until he’s so worked up he has to make you come at least twice before you extract yourselves from the bed. 

  That’s where he wants to be right now as he stares at some prehistoric bug that’s landed in his warm beer, flailing and hoping someone can put him out of his misery much like he hopes after being dragged to this godforsaken barbecue. Despite it being his own brother he would have gladly come up with any excuse not to be here. He loves his family but sometimes he couldn’t stand Tommy. 

  ‘Who has a party on the hottest day of the year?’ You laughed earlier as he grumbled about in the kitchen helping you pack away the things you prepared in the cooler. 

  ‘He can’t control the weather Joel. You know he’s excited about the new house.”You with your rational thought and kind heart. 

  ‘Who’s side are you on Darlin?’ He caged you in against the counter as he ran his hands up your thighs. You shiver under his touch and he knows it wouldn’t take much to convince you to stay home. 

  Your hands meet his as you pull them up higher, bunching your dress a little to reveal those cheeky shorts he couldn’t get enough of. You wrap his hands around your waist as you run yours up his arms and around his neck. His chocolate brown eyes are glazed over as you slowly put him under some trance. Your lips kiss that spot in his beard as your nails scratch at his scalp and he has to brace himself against the counter to keep himself grounded. ‘I’m always on your side Miller.’ 

  “What’s up with you brother?” Tommy slaps his back bringing him back to this fresh hell. A man can’t even day dream in peace. 

  “It’s hot.” He grumbles and goes to take a sip of his beer before he remembers and chucks it out on the grass. 

  Tommy licks his lips as a smirk pulls across his face, no doubt thinking of something to say that will have Joel flying off the handle. His niece is running towards them with the same look on her face to save him from his impending death. Wild black curls bouncing in her face to match her parents. 

  Tommy holds his arms out for his daughter but she crashes her small body into Joel as the weight of her hit causes a small creak in the lawn chair. A muffled hi uncle Joel is said into his shirt as Tommy stands there defeated. “You stayin out of trouble?” 

  She just shrugs her shoulders and offers her hand out to him. An ice cold Diet Coke she’s barely able to get her little hands around. A mystery smudge is on her shirt and her pants have seen better days. Tommy wanted a boy but he was pleasantly surprised when her little personality started to take hold and he quickly realized he had his hands full with this one. Her two front teeth are missing and the smile etched across her face is a mischievous one. “Thanks sweetheart.” Joel takes it from her, it’s still cold despite having traversed the lawn and been subjected to the warmth of her hands. He’ll wait a moment to open it, no doubt jostled as she ran over here. 

  “My mommy said you look hotter than h e double hockey sticks.” 

  “Izzy!” Tommy snaps at her and Joel can’t help the laugh that bubbles up. 

  “What…I spelled it. I didn’t say Hell.” She rolls her neck and he swears he can see Maria in that moment. 

  “Isabella.” Tommy’s voice drops an octave in warning as she backs away slowly with her hands raised. 

  She reminds him so much of Tommy when he was younger. It’s only fair that he gets a taste of his own medicine. When Joel met you the decision had already been made that you didn’t want kids and Sarah was almost in college and Joel didn’t want to start over. It was a relief to find someone that could love his child so fiercely despite it not being their own. Izzy came barreling into their lives shortly after Sarah left and you loved that little bundle of joy like it was the last thing on earth. 

  There’s little hints of you in her sprinkled throughout your time together. Her insistence on correcting people and their grammar, the way she defends others although you told her she should try to use her words more after she punched some kid on the playground for bullying a smaller kid. Joel may have had a hand in that one. 

  Joel cracks the can as Tommy drones on about repairs that need to be done to the house. He already knows what his brothers’ getting at and he doesn’t even need to ask…of course he’s going to help him take on whatever project needs to be done to get the house in order for the new baby. He knew Tommy was nervous before Izzy arrived and this brings on a whole new level of responsibility. They were so grateful they’d found a house down the street from you and Joel with just two months to spare before this new bundle arrived. 

  He takes a sip of the bubbly cold drink, the sweetness is slightly off. You swore he wouldn’t be able to tell but of course he can. His doctor told him to cool it on the sodas and he made the mistake of telling you. You care so much…too much. You called his brother and Maria and now they’re watching him like a hawk so he has to sneak the ones with real sugar like a junky getting his fix. 

  In the brief moments he’d been graced by Tommy’s presence he lost sight of you. His eyes scan the large backyard, the kids playing in some dirt mound, some guys from the job site ribbing each other by the grill. You and Maria are by the cooler with some mystery man while you rub her swollen belly. His eyes roam down your body as you bend over to lay a kiss to it and whisper sweet words to your soon to be niece or nephew. 

  You stand and try to adjust the strap on that dress he loves so much. You’re always complaining about how the straps never stay up and he supposes you keep it just for him. He’ll have to remember to burn it when you get home as he grits his teeth and watches the man get an obvious look down the front of your dress. 

  “Who’s that?” Joel juts his chin toward the end of the yard as Tommy squints his eyes. 

  “Don’t.” 

  “I just asked his goddamn name Tommy.” He huffs at his brother and he just shakes his head. The heat was already getting to him before and now it’s at a fever pitch. 

  “His name is James, we just hired him.” Tommy holds his arms out in a mock satisfaction and Joel’s not in the mood for his theatrics. 

  “We? Hired him.” Joel shifts and he hears the chair creak again. He stands up abruptly not wanting to be flat on his ass because of his brother's crappy lawn furniture. 

  “Yes Joel…remember you put me in charge of staffing the site?” 

  Joel just hums under his breath as he crosses his arms over his chest. He’ll have to remember to start vetting the candidates again if this is the type of people Tommy’s got working for them. 

  The man is crossing the lawn towards them with a presidential smile and Joel’s already pissed. He greets Tommy and offers his hand to Joel as he begins to introduce himself. 

  “James is it?” Joel squeezes the man's hand a little too tight as he winces. Tommy retreats not wanting to be a witness to whatever Joel was going to say or do. At this point he knew there was no stopping him. 

  “Mr. Miller, it’s nice to meet you.” He doubts that and he can tell by the look on his face that he’s already sorely regretting walking over here. 

  “You don’t really have an eye for jewelry do ya?” Joel cocks his head waiting for an answer, an easy trap to set for a simpleton like James. There’s no right answer. Not when he’s got his teeth sunk into him. “See I noticed almost immediately that there’s a ring on your finger.” He gestures to the man’s hand and holds up his own. “You didn’t seem to notice my wife’s hand when you were eye fuckin the shit out of her.” 

  “Hi Honey.” Your sweet voice hits his ears as your hand travels up his arm, working your way behind his neck to rub that spot that seems to always make him deflate. 

  James uses this momentary distraction to run away with his tail tucked. 

  “You behavin?” You purr at him as he drops his head down to let you run your fingers through his hair. 

  “Always sugar.” His words slurred a little as he succumbed to your touch. You’re like a sedative the way you seep into his veins and put him in a trance like state. 

  He can’t see your eyebrows raised at him as you scan the backyard for the offending party. “Come on Miller, let’s get you home and cool you off before someone gets fired.” 

  He starts to speak but you shush him with your finger placed gently on his mouth. A quick glance over your shoulder and you lean up kissing him deep. It almost takes him by surprise how you still have this effect on him. No longer concerned with the heat or the stress at work or his brother’s constant annoyance. You can silence all those thoughts with just a taste of your lips. You break away when you hear the whoops coming from Tommy and Joel grumbles under his breath. 

  The strap on your shoulder slides down and you sigh a little as Joel runs his finger underneath, feeling your smooth skin turn to goosebumps. It’s intoxicating the way he knows he has that same effect on you. He’s smirking to himself as he reaches behind you and adjusts the strap, getting a glimpse down the front and the soft swell of your breast. 

  “Looks like you and James have something in common.” You laugh as he scowls at you, the kind of laugh that has tears at the corner of your eyes. 

  “Don’t push it darlin.” 

Comments and and reblogs are much appreciated

[pedriscroquettes]

𝐒𝐀𝐍𝐓𝐀 𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐈𝐀 – PABLO GAVI

summary. you try to forget about your crush with a certain midfielder.

warnings. switch!gavi, reader likes someone else, kind of public s3x?, & ruining friendships.

a/n. making a series based on some of my fav bad gyal songs <3!! this one is based off santa maria.

the apartment was full of people you knew yet, you felt alone. parties that the boys invited you to always ended up like this. with you alone. every time you thought you’d crossed new boundaries with the guys you were proved wrong with the way they quickly abandoned you for their other friends. at first you didn’t mind you barely knew them anyways but it started to annoy you when you realized you had started to fancy one of them.

your feelings for ferran scared you. you weren’t even sure if you liked him or if you just thought you did because of all the guys he was the one who payed attention to you the most. maybe it was because your love language was affection and every time he placed his arm around you, you couldn’t help but blush. you kept your hopes up that he would one day read your mind and would feel the same way. instead he showed up one day with a girlfriend he had apparently been dating for over a year.

you felt stupid and you still did at the current moment watching them dance together at gavi’s birthday party. you felt like an idiot for thinking that ferran actually liked you. you realized you looked creepy just staring at them so you made your way to backyard.

every time you came to gavi’s house you were always blown away by the view the young midfielder woke up to. you always knew barcelona was a beautiful city but seeing all of it from gavi’s backyard always put it into perspective for you. you’re too entranced by your confusing feelings you don’t realize someone is making their way towards you. it’s not until you’re face to face with gavi that you wipe the tears you didn’t know had formed.

“whiskey?” he offered you the bottle in his head.

“do you even drink whiskey?” you scoffed before laughing at his antics.

“oh, absolutely not. but it was a gift and who am i to say no?” he explained. “are you okay?”

you look up at him and he’s already looking at you with a caring look. it’s probably the most you’ve interacted with him and you wonder why because he seems so sweet.

“yeah-yes. you?” you tried to pretend you were fine.

“well apart from the fact that i wish i was back home rather than here? yeah, i’m fine.” he sighs.

there’s a moment of silence between the two of you but it isn’t awkward. it’s quite comfortable as the two of you just stare at the view. or at least that’s what you think because you’re oblivious to the way he scans your face studying it.

“he’s an idiot you know?” he speaks up.

“who?” ferran. your brain already knows the answer.

“ferran. we may be friends but i don’t like the way he leads you on.” he answers.

“no, it’s my fault i’m an idiot for thinking that there might be something between us.” you groan.

“are you seriously blaming yourself right now?” he begins to raise his voice. “he’s treating you like property and you’re defending him.”

“i’m sorry, are you mad at me? we aren’t even close for you to be so upset about this.” you scoff at his words.

“so, i can’t look out for you because we’re not buddies? that’s so stupid.” he rolls his eyes.

he’s so dramatic.

“there’s a difference between looking out for me and being mean and right now you’re being mean.” you try your best to keep your voice down not wanting to alarm the partying inside.

“how am i being mean?” he scoffs.

“you’re yelling at me for no reason. you and i haven’t even talked alone the whole time we’ve known each other and somehow you think you know what’s best for me. why are you even here? it’s your birthday.” you yell at him.

the more you argue the more he guides you to the side of his apartment. you’re too focused on getting final say in this stupid argument you barely notice how much you’ve been walking away from him until your back hits the wall. you’re trapped between him and the wall. your breath hitches when you see the close proximity between the two of you.

“are you even listening to me?” he asks as he notices how you’ve disassociated to the conversation.

“why are you so concerned with me and ferran?” you ask him softly.

“i just-” he sighs. “you deserve better.”

“you think i don’t know that? every time i see them together it hurts and i know i should move on but i can’t.” you start crying. “i just wish i could forget him.”

the next couple of seconds are a blur but the kiss he gives you is tender and sweet. his brown eyes meet yours as he waits anxiously for your reaction. his shyness kicks in and he’s internally panicking for his actions. sure on the pitch he was some intense player that wasn’t afraid of tackling anyone but with you it was different. he had never been able to muster the confidence to speak to you but now with alcohol and anger in his system he didn’t care anymore.

“i can help you.” he whispers. “forget him.”

you look at him to see if he’s joking but he’s looking at you with such an intensity that only proves he’s not joking. you’re at a loss for words not knowing what to say or even knowing what just happened.

“that’d be mean though.” you let out softly. “i don’t want to use you.”

“i’m asking you though. i want you to use me.” he can feel his cheeks heating up.

once again you stare at him. you don’t know exactly what you’re trying to see in him maybe it’s reassurance or something else. meanwhile, gavi is praying that he didn’t just make a big fool of himself. you step closer to him analyzing his features, his brown eyes boring into yours. they were intoxicating and they were pulling you in.

you think it’s a bad idea but you kiss him anyways. the kiss is hesitant but his lips are tender and he kisses you with so much fervor. you break away from him for a split second before throwing all your morals out the window and leaning in again. this time he cups your jaw with his hands and the kiss is longer and wetter. it’s not long before you’re full on making out with your back against the side of his apartment.

his lips start trailing down your neck leaving wet kisses all over your collarbone. while your hands make their way into his hair tugging it whenever he started sucking on your sensitive skin. the music could be heard from down the street so you don’t even try to suppress your moans which gavi is thankful for. he hasn’t even touched you yet and you’re somehow screaming for him already. he won’t admit it but it definitely boosts his ego.

“gavi wait.” you plead.

“did i do something wrong? sorry, are you okay?” his eyes grow wide with worry.

“no, it’s not that.” you try to compose yourself. “will everything be back to normal if we do this?”

“i-” he starts thinking. “i don’t know but we’ve already crossed boundaries.”

he’s right. friends don’t make out with each other. you shouldn’t even be out here with him. but the feeling of his lips on yours are stronger than your morals. so, you kiss him again.

“gavi?” you ask him.

“yeah?” he pants the make out proving to be a good exercise.

“fuck me.”

“yeah, sure i can do that.” he nods.

he was so cute. how unfortunate that you fell for ferran and not him.

you made it clear that you weren’t interested in foreplay but rather just a quick fuck that would distract. you mumbled a quick maybe next time to the midfielder when he insisted on making you feel good before getting straight into it. as soon as he gets the memo he lifts the bottom of your dress all the way up to your waist. as soon as he sees your panties he can feel his sweatpants getting tighter against him.

“fuck i don’t have a condom.” he groans.

“it’s okay i’m on the pill.” you assure him.

“oh-okay.” he can feel his heart racing.

although you didn’t let him pleasure you, you dip your hand into his pants. you can feel him shiver as you grab his length and begin pumping it. you pause momentarily and take your hand out again to spit on it. gavi on the other hand is close to cumming from the sight alone but he stops himself. if he’s gonna cum it’s going to be inside of you.

“fucking hell you’re good at that.” he groans as you move your hand up and down his shaft.

you pull him into another sloppy kiss and simultaneously lead his length towards your clothed core. you begin rubbing it up and down your core teasing yourself. soon, it’s gavi who grows impatient and quickly moves your panties to the side. the two of you make eye contact before he slides in. your nails dig down his arms as he thrust inside of you filling you to the hilt. he feels so good inside of you.

the pleasure is so much for him he begins releasing profanities all at once you barely understand him.

“is this okay?” he asks as he wraps your leg around his waist so he can hit you even deeper.

“fuck, yeah. you can move now.” you struggle to say.

he starts off slow pulling all the way out before filling you up again. as you close your eyes due to the pleasure he can only admire you. you always look pretty but you somehow have reached a new level of beauty under the moonlight with his dick inside of you. he’s never had such dirty thoughts before. he’s also lucky that he’s wearing a hoodie because your nails are digging so hard into his arms.

as he fastens the pace your hold on him gets stronger not wanting to let go. he sneaks one of his hands up your throat and cups your jaw.

“you look so pretty like this. all fucked up for me.” he rasps.

“just for you gavi.” you whine.

he can’t take it anymore so he turns you around and now your chest is against the wall. he begins thrusting into you even faster than before. you’re thankful he has his arm wrapped around your waist to balance you. his lips attack your neck desperately nipping at the skin wanting to mark you up. you don’t mind it at all or the way he begins to pull on your hair. quite frankly you thought he would be vanilla in bed. so, you’re blown away by his dominance.

“pablo, i’m close.” you whine.

“me too. come on cum for me.” he assures you.

you grow tighter around him before finally letting go. the feeling causing him to chase his own climax. you collapse against his chest and his heavy pants invade your ears. the two of you stay there against the wall trying to collect your breaths. he turns you around before kissing you. the kiss is sweet and long unlike the other ones.

“fuck, how are we going to go in like this?” he pants.

“we’ll just tell them we were laying down looking at the view or the truth which is that you fucked me.” you sigh.

he carefully takes you inside with his arm around your waist to provide you balance. and sure enough as if on cue the trio consisting of pedri, ferran, and eric approach you. when they ask about your appearance the two of you simply lie not owing them any explanation. pedri and eric buy the story not looking too much into it but not the valencian. he’s somehow the only one that notices the love bites on your neck and the way gavi’s hand creeps too close to your ass as the two of you walk away.

when he comes over the next day to ask about it you simply say that you don’t know what he’s talking about. you don’t understand why he’s so angry but quite frankly you don’t care because gavi is currently hiding in your bathroom.

[ellieluvr420]

Friends? Never. Pt.9 (Ellie Williams x reader)

SYNOPSIS: You and Ellie had been bitter enemies for years now but before that you were best friends. You had always planned to be roommates one day but when that becomes a reality the situation isn't exactly how you both imagined it.

SMUT mdni!

“El wake up!” You nudge the sleeping girl, but she turns to face away from you as she pulls the covers further over her head. “Come onnnn, we have patrol. It’s my first day back, we can’t be late.” 

“It’s too early.” Her grumbles are muffled by the cover until you rip it away from her to reveal her tangled bed hair and pouty face. 

“Get up, get up, get up!” Your ridiculous amount of energy is frustrating for Ellie, but she can’t deny she finds it a little infectious. She smiles at you before pulling you down to cuddle as you’re slightly suffocated by the way she is pressing you into her chest. She sighs and you feel her body relax before you squeeze her shoulder to keep her from falling asleep again. “We’re gonna be late please Ellie.” You plead and she huffs before releasing you and sitting up to rub the sleep from her eyes. 

“Fine, I’m up.”  

“Finally, how are you not late to patrol when you don’t have me waking you up?” 

“I am late when you don’t wake me up.” 

“Of course you are. Come on, get up.” 

“Alright, alright.” 

It had been just over a week since you had collapsed in town and Maria was finally letting you patrol again, she was reluctant to but a space on the team that Ellie was heading out with today needed to be filled so she finally gave in to your begging. You had been going stir crazy and all you wanted to do was leave Jackson for a little bit. Ellie kissed you before staggering off to the shower leaving you alone in her room. You look around at all her decorations as you always found yourself doing whilst you were in there as you contemplate whether to ask Ellie why she never told you about Maria offering a spare apartment to either of you. You had ran into Maria yesterday and she had mentioned it only to be met with a dumbfounded look on your face as you were completely unaware of her visit. Your memory flashed back to when you saw her as you were walking home from the market and you realised she obviously had come to your home. As you walked away from Maria you couldn’t help but smile at Ellie’s lie, you had suspicions of the reason she didn’t tell you, but you wanted to hear it from her anyway so as she walked back into the room, her skin glistening from the shower, you decided to confront her about it. 

“El?” 

“Hm?” She doesn’t look at you as she’s rummaging through her drawers looking for clothes to wear today. 

“Why didn’t you tell me Maria came over to offer one of us an apartment?” She pauses and turns to face you with the look of a guilty child, her head bowed as she fidgeted with her fingers. You feel bad seeing the obvious anxiety radiating from her as you realise how your tone sounded to her. “I’m not mad, I just wanna know.” She finally makes eye contact with you as she walks over to come sit in front of you on the bed. 

“I was worried if you found out you’d want to move out... and I didn’t want you to.” You gently cock your head to the side as you brush a stray hair out of her face. 

“Ellie, I didn’t even want to move out when I thought my parents wanted to fix our relationship. Let alone to go live in a little apartment on my own.” 

“So you’re really not mad?” 

“No are you kidding? I think it’s cute.” You grin at her as you bit your lip. 

“Oh whatever.” She shakes her head at your compliment and walks back over to her drawer, partially to find clothes but partially to hide the blush that was creeping up her cheeks. 

You made it to patrol with minutes to spare as you stand chatting with the group you and Ellie were both assigned to today. There were five of you, Ellie and you, Jesse, Lacey and Matt; you were looking forward to it because you were fond of everyone in the group and you knew they were all skilled and focused, so they were a good group to be going out with for the first time after your concussion. As the gates opened and you climbed on Greg you met Ellie’s face that was already gazing at yours. 

“You ready?” Her eyes search yours for any sign of fear or uncertainty but they only thing she saw was excitement, she understood how you felt, once you get used to leaving Jackson regularly for patrol, it can be difficult to stay in Jackson all the time. 

You give a firm nod and she nods back before you all begin riding to your first checkpoint. Today was one of the first days that wasn’t blisteringly hot in months and you had never been more grateful for it as the wind whipped past your face. Ellie spared glances at you but never let herself stare for too long for fear that she would get distracted, as she often does, by you and ride into a tree or off a cliff. She knew it was a silly thought, but she still only let herself steal quick glances anyway. 

You looked up at the sky as you reached the first checkpoint and noticed the dark clouds barrelling in from the east and the distinct fog that signalled heavy rain was coming your way. Jackson needed it to rain more than ever so you were relieved but the effect it had on your patrol was a not so welcome one. ”Jess, it looks like its gonna rain bad.” 

“Yeah, I know, there’s a house used for long patrols that we’re gonna stay in tonight. Maria radioed me like ten minutes ago to say we shouldn’t come back today because we’ll end up right in the middle of it, so we’ll do the patrol and then wait the storm out there.” 

“When were you gonna share that with us?” 

“When we got there.” He turns and smirks at you and roll your eyes. 

“You’re an ass.” He chuckles 

At his words you all exchanged frustrated glances with each other but when you caught Ellie’s eye you could only smile, almost every night for weeks now you had slept in the same bed together and knowing that you wouldn’t be apart from each other for the night made you all the more grateful Maria had let you go out today. 

“Oh my god, look Ellie, it’s like us.” You whisper yell at the girl as you look at a picture of the couple you assumed owned the house, two women snuggled together, one smiling and the other kissing the smiling one’s cheek. 

“Yeah let’s recreate it.” You snort at her before looking back at the picture. 

“I wonder what happened to them. You know when the outbreak happened.” She hums in agreement before you move on to looking around the room some more. Patrol had been good and uneventful which was nice considering the things that had happened to you and Ellie over the past few weeks. The pattering of rain when you’re inside had always calmed you and now was no different, you felt comfortable and at ease and the sight of Ellie stood before you only made you feel giddier. You felt yourself falling faster and faster for her as you spent more time together and settled into the new dynamic of your relationship. As you drop down onto the sofa Lacey walks into the room, her eyes switching from you to Ellie and back to you again.  

“There’s only four bedrooms so someone’s gonna have to share or take the couch.”  

Without a beat Ellie turns to Lacey. “I’ll take the couch.” 

“Cool, okay.” You had to admit Ellie’s eagerness hurt just a little bit but as Lacey exited the room once again and Ellie turned to you with a mischievous expression on her face, your curiosity piques. 

“Now we can share without them being weird about it.” 

“Oh my god you’re a genius.” 

“I know.” She grins smugly as she walks over to you, still seated on the sofa, and presses a light kiss to your forehead. “I’m gonna go explore upstairs, okay?” You nod and smile and she walks off upstairs leaving you alone in the cosy living room, you relax into the sofa further and shut your eyes, you were tired, so tired but something was telling you to go upstairs and explore further with Ellie. 

Ellie had wandered into what she assumed was the main bedroom from the pictures of the couple you had pointed out downstairs that were dotted around the room. She made her way around the room slowly until she opened the bedside drawer on the left side of the bed, her jaw dropped as she pulled out a box that was still sealed shut, containing what she can only assume is a sex toy. She spins the box around and sees an image of the harness and accompanying appendage fastened onto a woman’s hips. She spins the box back round to inspect the pink dildo from behind the plastic window and without a second thought she rips the box open, carefully pulling the strap-on out of the box. As she inspects the toy, she gets an overwhelming urge to see what it looks like on, it’s like she was under a spell, she was picturing what it would be like to use it with you and the image in her head only spurred her on further. She walked over to the mirror hanging on the wall in the corner of the room and started to step into the leg holes of the harness. 

She only remembers the door is wide open when it’s too late as you appear in the doorway with an amused look on your face. She spots you in the mirror and immediately jumps causing her to trip as she fails to get her second foot through the harness, sending her crashing to the floor, clutching the toy to her body to try and hide it from you. “Ow fuck! You scared the living shit out of me!” 

“All I did was walk into the room, you got scared because you’re hiding something. What you got there El?” You saunter over to her as her face blushes a deep crimson and she tries to scramble out of the harness to hide it from you before you get to her. She knows it’s no use, she’s been caught, but she tries anyway. As you reach her, she sighs and accepts defeat before shimmying out of the harness and holding it out to you. You stare at it in your hands with an equally awestruck expression as Ellie had before your eyes flick back to hers. “Put it on.” You hand it back to her and she stays completely frozen as she stares back at you. 

“What?” 

“You obviously wanted to try it so put it on. See how it feels.” She looks at you, then the strap and then the door which causes you to spin on your heel and close it before making your way back over to her. You take the harness from her again and find the buckles on each strap before holding them up to her face. “I think these reduce the risk of you face planting.” 

She purses her lips at your sharpness before undoing the buckles and turning back to the mirror to fit it around her hips. The second it’s attached to her she feels a warmth between her thighs as she stares back at her reflection, the feeling only intensifies when your arms snake round her waist as you press your front into her back leaving light kisses over her shoulder blade. “What are you thinking about?” You murmur into her shoulder as she holds onto your hands that clasped together at her waist. 

“Using it with you.” She breathes out as if confessing her deepest secret. 

“You wanna use it with me?” You know the answer, but you adore the way her cheeks redden with every question. 

“Yeah.” 

“So do it then.” At your words she spins round, immediately attaching her lips to yours with a fervour, you push her backwards until she hits the mirror behind her with a loud thump as your hands snake under her t-shirt you had watched her pick out this morning. She spins you both around and slams you back into the wall causing a gasp to leave your lips, letting her push her tongue further into your welcoming mouth. Over her shoulder you see the bed beckoning you both over as you push back at Ellie a little, she realises what you’re doing and begins walking backwards, pulling you with her, her lips never once leaving yours. She continues walking backwards until her hip bashes into the drawers that sat underneath the large windows, and she hisses and groans at the sharp pain that she knew would leave a bruise. 

“Ow motherfucker.” She curses before attaching her lips to your neck and continuing towards the bed where she pushes you down and immediately climbs on top of you. As you wrap your legs around her waist pulling her hips flush with yours you can feel the toy rubbing up against your throbbing bud and the feeling elicits a whine from your lips. She chuckles under her breath before grinding her hips into yours, desperate to hear that sound again. Your lips meet again as your hands find their place in her hair, tugging gently. You’re both utterly consumed by one another until the door slams open and Jesse’s voice can be heard by the both of you. 

“Oh fuck.” He’s frozen in his place as he stares in disbelief as you and Ellie both scramble off each other, Ellie immediately throwing herself to the floor to hide the strap attached to her hips and you jumping off the bed to stand and meet Jesse’s stunned face. “I- er- I heard some crashes. Sorry, I’ll er- I'll go.” 

As he rushes out of the room, slamming the door behind him, you look down at Ellie whose head is in her hands as she shakes it as if trying to convince herself that didn’t actually happen. 

“Oh shit.” 

“Oh shit.” Ellie echoes your words as you both stay frozen.  

“I can’t believe that just happened.” A small chuckle leaves your lips which causes Ellie to lift her head from her hands and laugh also. 

“He looked terrified.” 

“He probably was.” You bend down to her level and kiss her pink nose through giggles before standing again. “I’m gonna go and let you... fix yourself while I make sure he isn’t blabbering to the others.” 

“Okay.” She groans once again as you walk out and shut the door behind you where you stand and take a deep breath before walking downstairs to join the others. 

Ellie slips out of the harness and as she goes to put it back in the drawer, she notices her bag still by the door where she had dropped it. She walks over to the bag and slips it right to the bottom before zipping it up and walking downstairs to join you. 

As she walks in you glance at her before looking away and over to Jesse whose eyes are firmly planted on the floor. You each look shellshocked and Lacey and Matt don’t miss the strange air between the three of you. 

“What’s going on?” Lacey questions. 

“Huh?” “Nothing.” You’re quick to reply to Lacey and so is Ellie, your immediate denial and Ellie’s feigned ignorance work counter-intuitively, only making you seem more guilty. Jesse’s eyes never once leave the floor as Lacey and Matt exchange a suspicious look before they both nod slowly.  

“Well... okay then.” Matt says to fill the awkward silence before looking out the window at the dark, night sky. “I’m dead so I’m gonna go to bed.” 

“Yeah, me too.” Jesse says within a millisecond of Matt before jumping up and racing out of the room, Matt following behind him and turning back to you and Ellie once more before disappearing out of the room. Lacey’s eyes are darting between the two of you with a knowing smirk before she sighs and shakes her head. 

“You know what? I am also super tired, I’ll see you guys in the morning.” She walks away but not without shooting a glance your way that you don’t meet and once again you and Ellie are alone together. 

“Well... they definitely know.” You breathe out as Ellie laughs. 

“Yeah we did not play that cool at all.” 

“Oh my god I think I’m gonna die.” You whine as she walks over to you, wrapping her arms around your waist and pulling you into a tight embrace. 

“Hey at least you didn’t have a pink dick swinging from your hips when he walked in.” You snort and nod at her before burying your face into her chest as if she could shield you from the embarrassment you were feeling at the moment. 

“Yeah I’d be praying for the ground to swallow me hole if I was you.” 

“Thanks for that.” She giggles as she rests her chin on your head. “How about we go to bed hm?” You look at her with a cheeky grin before she rolls her eyes at your unashamed hint. “I meant to sleep.” 

“You’re no fun.” 

“Do I need to remind you what just happened?” 

“Okay fair enough, let’s go.” You both ascend the stairs before you reach the master bedroom once again, you knock on the door to see if anyone else had taken the room but to your surprise, no reply came signalling it was empty. You push the door open before dragging Ellie inside and shutting it once again. You both strip off to your underwear before climbing into the bed and snuggling into one another, the warmth of her skin against yours and the constant pattering of the rain lulls you to sleep. Ellie was awake for not much longer than you but long enough for her to gaze in awe at your features as you slept so peacefully. She had done many overnight stays for patrol over the years but she had never once been this happy and comfortable during one. 

As you and Ellie both walk down the stairs you’re met with the others standing in the kitchen already looking at you both suspiciously, it suddenly dawns on you that Ellie was supposed to be sleeping in the living room but at this point you both know the rouse is up so you just grab your boots as Ellie grabs her converse and begin readying yourselves for the journey back to Jackson now the storm had passed. 

You rode next to Lacey as Jesse rode up ahead with Matt and Ellie behind him engaged in a heated discussion about whether Nirvana or Pearl Jam was better. You don’t realise you’re zoned out watching them until you hear Lacey’s voice calling your name. 

“Huh- what- sorry.” 

“I said what the fuck is going on between you two?” She whisper-yells at you. 

“What do you mean?” 

“Oh don’t give me that. She obviously slept with you last night and Jesse can’t look at either of you. Oh my god!” She gasps loud enough for Ellie’s head to turn ever so slightly back in your direction. “Did he walk in on you guys fucking?” 

“Oh my god no!” You immeidately hiss back. “Kinda... I don’t know, okay? We’re just- well I don’t really know what we are right now.” 

“Oh my, hell has frozen over. You and Ellie, seriously?” 

“Yeah, I guess.” You can’t stop the coy grin from gracing your face as your eyes dart back to the girl in front of you. “Just don’t tell anyone, please. I don’t want everyone knowing.” You pause and move Greg closer to Lacey so you can speak quieter. “I want to make things official before we start telling people, you know?” 

“Yeah I get you, my lips are sealed don’t worry. Jesse won’t tell anyone because I don’t think he’s ever gonna speak again.” She cackles. 

“I know, we really did a number on him huh?” You both giggle like school girls as you continue the journey home. 

When Ellie heard Lacey gasp she went quiet, trying to listen to your conversation, she couldn’t make everything out that you were both saying but she did clearly hear you say you don’t want anyone knowing about you and her, she couldn’t help the sting that pained her chest at your words but she pushed the feeling down as she focused on Matt’s raving about how Nirvana was better once again. 

As you both walk through the door of your home, you breathed a sigh of relief at the immediate comfort brought to you by the space, you turn to look at Ellie who was already wandering off to the living room. You follow her and plop down next to her on the sofa and lean your head on her shoulder, you feel her chest rise and fall as she sighs before you sit up to look at her face, you notice the sadness painted over her expression and your eyebrows knit together as you search for any sign of what she’s thinking about. “You okay babe?” 

“Are you ashamed of me?” 

“What?” 

“I heard you tell Lacey you didn’t want people knowing about us.”  

“See this is why you shouldn’t eavesdrop, what you didn’t hear me say was that I don’t want anyone knowing until we’re official because we haven’t even talked about what’s going on between us yet.” She meets your eyes and you’re relieved to see the sadness is gone and has been replaced with elation. 

“So you’re not embarrassed of me?” 

“God no Ellie, I want to scream from the rooftops that you’re mine, but we haven’t actually established that you are.” She quirks an eyebrow at you before standing up and dramatically dropping to one knee in front of you. “I think you’ve skipped a step here love.” 

“Shut up.” She bows her head and clears her throat before pulling an imaginary ring box from her pocket and opening it in front of you. “Will you please go out with me? Please.” 

“I don’t know I think I’d need some time to think about it.” Her face drops and you giggle at her. “Of course I will Ellie.” She immediately lurches forward and kisses every inch of your face as you laugh at the tickle of her lips pecking at your skin. 

“Wait... so does this mean you’re my girlfriend now?” 

“Well yeah obviously.” 

“Oh shit, nevermind I take it back.” She closes the imaginary ring box and puts it back in her pocket before you dive at her, pinning her to the ground. 

“Too late, no take backs.” 

“Well shit.” You snuggle into her as you both giggle at the scene you had just enacted before she pulls your chin so you’re looking directly in her eyes. “I have a surprise for you.” 

“Really? What is it?” You sit up as you can’t contain your excitement.  

“Well it wouldn’t be much of a surprise if I told you would it? Come on, let’s go upstairs.” You scramble off her and pull her up to start dragging her upstairs, you don’t notice her grabbing her bag as she passed it and slinging it over her shoulder as you’re too focused on getting to the surprise you don’t know is right behind you. As you reach the end of the upstairs hallway where yours and Ellie’s rooms are, you walk into her room without looking back once. Despite the mess, you had become accustomed to Ellie’s room, you loved it because it was hers and recently, you’d find yourself sitting in her bed to read your book even if she was out on patrol. You reach the middle of the room and spin to face her only to see her rummaging around in her backpack. You quirk an eyebrow at her until you see a flash of pink. Your jaw drops but she puts the bag down without retrieving anything from it before gently walking you backwards towards the bed. She places her hands on your shoulders, pushing you down to sit on the bed before kissing you sweetly. You love the affection and you could never get enough of your kisses but all you could focus on was what was inside her bag, she knew that of course, that’s why she did it so as she pushes you to lay flat against the bed as she swiftly unbuttons your trousers before pulling everything on your bottom half down your legs in one smooth motion. “Patience, babe. Don’t wanna hurt you.” Is the last thing she said before latching onto your clit with a might. You scream at the sudden stimulation as you lace your fingers into her hair gently removing the hairband that was holding her hair in a half-up-half-down style, you loved her hair so much, she only ever wore it fully down around the house and there was something so intimate to you about only you seeing her like that. You bite down on your lip so hard you taste iron in your mouth as she fills you with her fingers, your back is arching off the bed before she puts a third finger in causing you to hiss and sit up on your elbows to make eye contact with her. You don’t break eye contact as she savages your cunt until you have to lay back down as you release, trembling and moaning as you see stars. You had had sex before Ellie, but nothing felt like how it did with Ellie. It felt like your souls were entwined with each other, gripping onto each other like your lives depended on it. 

As you catch your breath from your release, Ellie stands and walks over to her backpack before retrieving the strap-on and walking back over to you. You watch as she strips in front of you painfully slowly before putting on the harness with a lot more ease than last time. She nods her head at the pillows and you manoeuvre yourself so your head is laying on them as she crawls to be knelt between your legs. “You ready?” 

“Stop stalling... pussy.” You both giggle at the reference to your first day living together before she spits into her hand and rubs it up and down the shaft of the dick, as you watch the pulsing in your core only heightens. She plants a hand firmly at the side of your head as the other goes down to the strap to align it with your entrance, her face is scrunched up in concentration and the sight is soul-stirring. The air is knocked out of you as you feel her ease the tip into you gently and slowly, she pauses to let you adjust before you nod at her to keep going as you squirm, desperate to feel her inside you. She inches into you gently and as she bottoms out you groan at the fullness, a shiver runs down your spine and you pull her body flush with yours as you kiss her temple that was resting right by your lips. She begins rolling her hips into yours as she had done before but the sensation was different this time, you were so lost in your own pleasure you almost missed the whine that left Ellie’s lips but as you searched her face you realised this felt just as good for her as it did for you.  

You both gripped onto each other as the pleasure became almost unbearable, you locked lips as your tongues swirled around each other's, swallowing the symphony of sounds that left your lips. “Oh my god Ellie, oh fuck, I can’t- I’m gonna-” You whisper onto her lips. 

“I know, I know.” She coos softly through heavy breaths as her pace quickens impossibly. “Let go babe, come on, oh god you’re so perfect.” 

You both finish with choked moans as the heavy breathing and the ticking of Ellie’s clock are the only sounds filling the room as Ellie lays spent on top of you. You had never felt so good in your life and the feeling leaves your body humming in contentment. You scratched at her back and as Ellie went to lean upwards to pull out of you, you pull her back down again and wrap your legs firmly around her waist to keep her in position. “Please can we just stay like this for a little bit?” 

“Of course.” She nuzzles into your neck as you continue scratching up and down her back as you simply revel in the fullness of her still buried inside you.  

tags: @emiliabby @readbydayana @radioheadfan699 @lil-elliesgf

[arlana-likes-to-write]

oh god i think i have an idea for kate x yelena x reader??

maybe something before the 3 kids?

(i was on twitter the other day and i read about people saying the importance of feeling represeted in fics, and i thought about this lately, so uhm from my pov, i would like to uhm propose like a reader with maybe selfharm addiction??? maybe reader doesn't say that she relapsed because kate and yelena have other thoughts like missions and mission reports and hard training and she do not want to be a burden??? but like she doesn't realize that she matters more than all those things to Kate and Yelena and almost towards the end reader can no longer hold the weight inside and one evening she confesses it to them??? gosh this is a lot i know lol

(I HAVE TOTALLY NO IDEA IF YOU WRITE ABOUT THIS TOPICS if not im sorry for the request but this is something that is stuck with me but im getting better, so yeah sorry)

Take My Hand

This is a prequel to Domestic Life but can be read as a standalone.

Warning: mention of past and current self-harm, online bulling, self deprecating thoughts, poor self image, implied sexual content (Kate and Yelena are down bad for their girlfriend), pet names (princess; baby, babygirl)

Breathe. Breathe. Take five breaths in and five out. Your hands shook every time you passed your brush through your hair. The only sound your brain was registering was the music Kate demanded to play so you all could get ready. There was a party at the Avenger Tower; some active Avengers were invited, along with politicians and other top-dog individuals in the city. You weren’t worried about that. You spent so many years in customer service that you could talk to anyone smoothly. It was the media that worried you.

The world knew that Kate and Yelena were dating; they were among the most talked about couples behind Natasha and Maria. You’ve spent hours scrolling through blogs created for them where random people reposted pictures and kept updated on every aspect of their lives. It was a little weird. It was always Yelena and Kate, Hawkeye and the White Widow for a few years. Recently, they’ve hinted at a third in their relationship that many blogs caught on to. That third was you, and for the past five months, the two superheroes kept you out of the public eye. They wanted to keep you to themselves. Everything changed now that Kate wanted to take you on dates.

You were anxious. Compared to the likes of the Avengers, you were a no-one. Just a small-town girl who got lucky their car broke down in your town.

Suddenly, Kate’s arms wrapped around your waist and pulled you flush to her chest. “Where did your mind run off to, Princess?” Her chest rumbled after each word, and her lips tickled you underneath your ear.

“Just,” you giggled. “It’s nothing. Don’t worry about it.” You tried to escape, but Kate held you tighter and rubbed soothing circles onto your skin.

“Princess,” she warned. “You know the rules.” In your opinion, it was a stupid rule, but you knew it was to foster better communication between you three.

“Just nervous,” you answered honestly. Kate nodded your head and hummed in agreement.

“So am I,” she admitted. You looked at her in shock. “I am,” she smiled. “Everyone is going to see how much hotter and cooler my girlfriend is than me, and they are going to convince her to leave me,” she looked directly at you, so you knew who she was talking about. With a roll of your eyes, you faced back towards the mirror.

“You are such a dork, Bishop,” you mumbled.

“I’m telling the truth,” she turned around slightly but still had her arms on you. “Yelena,” she called out. “Tell our girl she’s the prettier one out of the three of us.” How Kate called you ‘our girl’ made you feel warm and fuzzy. Through the mirror, you saw the blonde appeared in the doorway. She decided on a green cocktail dress that matched the color of her eyes. She smiled at you.

“I am ready to keep the vultures off of her,” she said. “Because she is ours.” It was ridiculous. The so-called vultures would be after your girlfriends, and you would have to fight them away. Still, you believed them. It was the way they looked at you, the way they touched you. You never felt more loved.

*

The party was going well. You mingled with team members you saw less frequently and listened to some of the politicians on their upcoming policies. You preferred talking to the Avengers over them. At first, one of your girlfriends stayed with you, but you ensured they enjoyed themselves.

So you were standing with Maria, nursing a drink that Yelena made for you. The blonde had a heavy pour when it came to her bartending skills. Maria told you a story about Yelena and Natasha; somehow, the blonde’s white suit accidentally turned pink when it was Natasha’s turn to do laundry. The sudden smirk on the agent’s face gave your girlfriend away. Kate moved behind you, and you could smell the alcohol on her breath. “Ignore me,” she whispered. “Pretend I’m not here and keep having your conversation.” That was easier said than done, but Maria kept talking, and you tried to focus on it.

Sober Kate was touchy and flirty but knew when to dial it back in public. Drunk Kate was a completely different beast. Her one goal was to make you a flustered mess. She was doing it now. “You look so good,” she mumbled, and goosebumps formed on your skin. “Fuck, I wanna rip this top off and fuck you right here,” you took a sip of your drink to hide the whimper that threatened to escape. “I want everyone here to know you are ours. Too many of these pigs have their eyes all over you.” She was how when she got jealous and possessive.

“Detka,” you weren’t sure when Maria was replaced with Yelena. Her hand was on your chin, and her fingers were cold. A shiver went down your spine. “Are you okay?” You nodded.

“Kate is drunk and horny,” you smiled and ignored the gasp the archer let out. Yelena let out an amused chuckle and leaned closer to your lips.

“I can say I am not surprised with how good you both look,” you watched her green eyes darken before she kissed your lips. Kate let out a breathy groan.

“Would it be inappropriate to leave now?” The archer asked. “I need you both.” You giggled against Yelena’s lips.

“I think we’ve shown our face long enough,” it was all the consent Kate needed before dragging you to the elevator. You pretended to ignore every Avenger’s knowing looks.

Delete Created with Sketch.

A week had passed since the party, and you made it your mission to stay off social media. You focused on your job, studies, and relationship with Yelena and Kate. Everything felt great. When you entered the break room, a few coworkers suddenly stopped talking. “What?” You asked as you opened the fridge to put your lunch in. “Do I have a hickey on my neck again?” Kate left one on your neck when she refused to let you go to work. Your coworkers had a field day for the next few days after.

“No hickey this time,” Tina said with her phone in her hand. “We saw this online and thought you had the right to know.” You took her phone, and you stared at a blog. It was a picture from the party which you’ve seen before. Natasha sent it to you, and you made it your lock screen. Yelena stood in front of you with Kate hanging onto your back. The blonde’s finger was on your chin, and her lips barely touched yours.

“It’s a cute picture of the three of you,” Tina said. Your coworkers knew of your relationship with the two Avengers. It was hard to keep it a secret from them when Kate and Yelena liked to surprise you at work. “It’s the comments we were reading.”

Curiosity killed the cat, right? That was the only part of the phrase people remembered. A part of you knew better to read them. The opinions of random people online did not matter, but you were curious about what your coworkers read. So you scrolled down.

It was nice to see some positive comments. They liked how happy Kate and Yelena seemed. They said you fit in well with them. But it was the negative comments that outweighed the good. To the comments, you were a whore, a homewrecker, a slut, and they could not understand what Kate and Yelena saw in you. They picked at every flaw they saw in the picture.

You handed the phone back to Tina. “You know what they say,” Tina smiled. “Those who pick on others are just jealous and self-conscious of themselves.”

“Right,” you said. “Now, enough gossip,” you teased. “Let’s get to work.”

*

When you entered your shared apartment, it was quiet. Not even the dogs were home to greet you. On any other day, you would be sad that you were alone, but you needed the tie to get your head on straight before everyone returned home.

You went into the bathroom, stripped out of your work uniform, and stepped into the shower. The water ran hot, and you watched your skin turn red from the temperature. When your body was clean, you stepped out of the shower with a towel wrapped around you. You wiped the condensation off the mirror and stared at your reflection.

Maybe the comments were correct. You could stand to lose weight, eat a little better, or change how you dress. The constant battle of your self-image was something you struggled with your entire life. You weren’t the most popular, prettiest, or smartest in high school. Your family lived paycheck to paycheck, so that you couldn’t afford the name-brand clothes. Every day, you compared yourself to those around you, and those on top of the social hierarchy smelt out of your weakness.

They added to your deteriorating self-image. You felt out of control as you slipped deeper and deeper into the abyss. You needed to get control back. One night, when your mother was at work, you took a razor to the thighs and watched the blood form at the surface. It scared you at first, seeing you bleed by your hand. You promised it would never happen again. But it was a habit you could not easily break when it was the only thing to release the pressure on your chest.

The pressure was back. You entered your shared bedroom and pulled out a small gift box from your Black Widow girlfriend. Inside was a knife with her and Kate’s initials carved into the hilt. Before your rational mind took over, you dragged the blade across the top of your thigh. With each cut you made, the pressure was less, and your mind was less dark.

*

You glanced up from the couch when the apartment door opened. The pup’s feet running against the wood made you smile. It was your only warning before a one-eyed golden retriever jumped on top of you. The air was pushed out of your lungs as he covered your face with kisses. “Lucky, stop!” You laughed and tried to push him off. “Get off!”

“Alright, don’t suffocate her,” Kate pulled the dog off of you and wiped the drool off your face with a towel. “Missed you today,” the archer mumbled and bent down to kiss you. You would welcome her lips on your any other day, but today, they felt wrong. The kiss turned your stomach.

“Missed you too,” you said. Kate moved your legs, sat down, and placed them on her lap. The sudden movement caused the fabric of your sweatpants to rub against the bandages. You winced, but both of your girlfriends missed it except Fanny. The American Akita was watching you closely. “I ordered food from that Thai place. I didn’t feel like cooking,” you went back to doom scrolling on your phone and missed the look between Kate and Yelena.

“Is everything okay, dorogoy?” You heard Yelena ask from the kitchen. You hummed in response, barely paying attention to what Yelena asked.

“Hey,” you were surprised by your phone being ripped out of your hands by the blonde. The Russian ignored the pout on your lips and put your phone on the table out of reach. “That was mean.”

“No, what is mean is that there is something wrong, and you are not telling us,” Yelena knelt by your head. “We have this rule for a reason, detka,” you looked at the archer, hoping your other girlfriend would save you. She stayed quiet but squeezed your thighs for support. You huffed, threw your head back, and felt tears burn at the corner of your eyes.

“It’s stupid,” you said. “Work just sucked, and both of you deal with much bigger problems than mine and-” Yelena quieted you with a gentle hand on your cheek as she pushed away your tears.

“Never think your problems at work are less than ours because we do different things,” the blonde said. “They are still important.”

“Besides,” you turned your attention to Kate, a playful smile on her face. “I could never be as polite and nice to some of the assholes you deal with,” she was able to make you smile. “Baby girl, you are a saint in your work.” You rolled your eyes and wiped away some of your tears.

“Do you want me to get you some food, and we can cuddle on the couch?” Yelena snapped her fingers. “We can watch the show with the talking dog and his high human?” You titled your head and narrowed your eyes at the blonde.

“Do you mean Scooby-Doo?” You questioned.

“Yes!” Yelena smiled. “Come, Kate Bishop, help me with food,” the Black Widow dragged the archer to the kitchen. You chuckled and reached for your phone.

Yes, work sucked, so you told the truth. Your mood turned as soon as you read those comments. The half-truth tasted bitter in your mouth. But this was your problem to fix. Yelena and Kate were Avengers, and you were a nobody.

*

“Princess, where are you going?” Kate asked from her spot on the couch. You were putting on your sneakers and placing a leash on Lucky.

“Taking Lucky for a walk. I’ll be right back.”

“It’s Sunday,” she said very slowly. “It’s not your day,” you shrugged.

“Just want to stretch my legs,” you said. “I’ll be back.” You felt the apartment before Kate could say another word. You used the stairs to warm up, stretching as you went down. You broke into a slow jog when you hit the sidewalk.

It was a new addition to your routine. Sometimes, you wake up early or stop by the gym after work. Some nights, you skipped on your sweet treat. If your girlfriends noticed the change and were worried about it, they kept it to themselves.

You were making progress, but you still cringed when you saw yourself naked compared to your girlfriends. Every flaw you saw was heightened, and you felt disgusted by yourself. Each time those thoughts entered your mind, the only way they left was when the blade came out and moved against your flesh.

The guilt was suffocating, and you wanted to climb into your girlfriend’s arms to forget all of your problems. But the dark voices in your head overpowered every rational thought.

*

“That was good,” Wanda said. “Why don’t we call it there?” You felt gross with the sweat dripping down your back, and your muscles ached. Training with Wanda was making faster progress than on your own. There was a deadline. With another gala happening in 2 weeks, you wanted to look better. You needed to look better for your mental health. You shook your head.

“I can keep going,” you said, stretched out of your sides, and took a deep breath. You needed to keep going.

“Breaks are good,” Wanda said. “They help your body recover and prevent injuries.” Logically, you knew she was right. Your body wasn’t used to this training, and you needed to work up your strength and endurance. But your mind was too dark to think logically. She saw you as weak and lesser, just like everyone else in those comments. This was a mistake. You weren’t an Avenger; you were just a nobody who got lucky. Wanda must have thought you were pathetic.

“Yeah,” you forced a smile. “Sounds good. Same time tomorrow,” you left the training area and headed for Yelena and Kate’s room before she could say anything else.

*

“Kate Bishop, give me the cup,” Yelena reached for the smoothie cup, but the archer held it above her head out of reach.

“No!” The archer laughed at the pout on the blonde’s face. “She asked me to make her workout smoothie, and you will put healthy stuff in it. She deserves a sweet treat!” The sound of Wanda’s laughter forced the archer to look away.

“Are you going to help me, Maximoff, or just stand there?” Yelena asked. The witch shook her head.

“I am not getting involved with this. But,” she sat in the empty seat. “I think you both need to check on your other half.” The duo turned serious when she mentioned that you and Kate had placed the cup on the counter.

“Was she hurt?” Kate asked, and her anxiety only lessened slightly when Wanda shook her head.

“Not exactly, but I would go check on her,” Wanda sighed. “I didn’t do it on purpose, but my powers wandered into her mind during the workout. They weren’t very nice thoughts about her image.” Yelena sighed.

“I knew we should have confronted her about this,” the blonde said. “She has been off since we had that Thai food,” Wanda left the couple and told them that if they needed anything, they should come get her. Kate put her hands on her hips.

“It must be bad if she hid it from us. We have that rule.”

“We must be smart about this and get our girl back.”

*

It was only a matter of time before they came to find you. You were sloppy around Wanda and let your thoughts get too loud. You had time to take a shower, change into comfy clothes, and sit on the edge of the bed. Picking at the skin of your thighs helped as it was unwise to take the blade you hid in your side of the dresser. The action was mindless and soothing. You missed the door opening, and Kate grabbed your hands. “Hi, Princess,” the archer whispered. “Are you here with us?” You felt Yelena sit down next to you.

“Yeah, I’m here,” you whispered, and your head fell onto Yelena’s shoulder. “I’m tired.” The blonde hummed in agreement.

“You have been hiding something from us, data,” the blonde softly spoke. “You might feel better if you told us the truth,” you closed your eyes as you felt tears form in them.

“It’s so stupid,” you said. “I’m so stupid.”

“Hey,” you opened your eyes to look at Kate. “Don’t talk about my girlfriend like that. I think she is brilliant and beautiful.” You smiled at the goofy look on her face. Sighing, you knew it was the right thing to do. Everything felt so heavy.

“A week after the Stark party, a picture of the three of us circled one of those Avenger blogs that report on you,” you took a deep breath in and out. “My coworkers found it and showed me. Some of the comments were awful towards me. They highlighted everything I hated about myself.”

“Why did you not tell us about this?” Yelena asked. She tried to mask the hurt in her voice, but you heard it. You never wanted to hurt them by hiding this.

“I worried if I told you, you would see that they saw and leave me,” you admitted. “I wanted to fix what was broken before you saw it. I am a nobody compared to you.” You angrily wiped your face.

“Princess, take my hand,” you gave one hand to Kate and the other to Yelena. “Nothing about you is broken. Those assholes are jealous and spiteful,” you knew that. You knew that from the beginning.

“But,” Yelena pushed loose hair out of your face and kissed your forehead. “Our mind is our biggest enemy, right?” You nodded. “You are our missing piece. We are whole because of you.”

“But I’m not an Avenger or a hero or—” Kate hushed you gently, moving her thumb across her lips.

“We don’t want you to be a hero,” The archer said firmly. “We want and need you to be you because you are a constant reminder of life outside of fighting and Avenging.”

“You are the reason we come home after every mission,” Yelena added, kissing the tears that fell down your cheek.

“We need you, baby,” Kate smiled. “And we will remind you every day.” She kissed the scars on your thighs, and the simple action caused more tears to leave your eyes. “Where is the blade, baby?” You weakly pointed to the dresser. Yelena quickly stood up and went to find it. Kate maneuvered you to lie down on the bed with her arms tightly around you. There was more to discuss, more things you needed to work through. Right now, you felt safe in your girls’ arms.

*

The night of the Gala, you felt your normal nerves with all the eyes and cameras on you. But Yelena and Kate quieted every doubt that entered your mind. As much as they said they needed you, you needed them.

[disheveledtranquility]

A little Eddie whump character analysis deep dive.

And defending symbrock while I'm at it and why I think movie Eddie was actually well thought out as a character and not just because "the stereotypical macho blonde asshole would not have been popular."

I'm exhausted so hopefully I didn't mess up the details too bad. Been a while since I read the comics.

Sprinkle in some of my ADHD so expect a bit of rambling. I added some gifs because I do love a picture book.

It's canon that Eddie Brock was abused by his father growing up. And the abuse was mostly emotional, lack of love, and lack of concern.

And gentle reminder that not everyone handles trauma the same, no matter which kind, and I feel like the way they wrote Eddie for the movies showcases another side to that trauma versus the comics. There's so many little details that even if it's just Tom being the amazing actor that he is portraying that side and not actually having those details written for him, it's still amazing.

Because Eddie's father was cold and emotionless after he lost his wife during childbirth. And of course Eddie tried everything to gain that love, just to be constantly subpar and never good enough for even a second glance.

After an accident involving drunk driving where Eddie hit a child, their relationship only got worse. And later in the comics, he disowns Eddie completely after he loses his job.

The movie version of Eddie is the broken version of that trauma.

He tends to shy away from situations where you'd assume he'd rush in to, like saving Mrs. Chen.

Trying to help or inquiring when he notices Maria missing. Anything that involves complex emotions. He's a reporter, yes, and he's cordial when he needs to be, but he seems to stick to his job and otherwise keep to himself. They don't exactly show that he has any friends, just Anne. So he's probably introverted because of the years of abuse and having to feel like he has to do everything alone with little to no strings attached.

Even simple things like getting into Anne's emails can be misunderstood. It's not malicious, but more misguided. He loved Anne. He didn't do what he did with intent to get her in trouble. But his poor decision making is probably also a part of not actually being raised and not knowing how to handle certain situations such as actually talking to your partner before you do things on your own? So much could have been avoided. And Eddie had good intentions of getting rid of Carlton Drake, but ruined his own life and Anne's as well because he didn't think things through.

He can't handle his emotions well (might also tie into the noises issue he seems to have that are not related to Venom, a possible trigger for him).

He has a lot of nervous ticks that also tie in with someone growing up in an abusive household. Emotionally stunted ticks. Like holding eye contact when someone he cares about is upset with him and he doesn't know how to fix it (because everything he does is wrong).

Even something you might think is simple, like apologizing, have had negative consequences as a child and might be why even though he's no longer in that situation, his brain isn't used to connecting any good emotions between them. He's probably not used to apologizing sincerely because doing so never meant it would change the outcome.

His mannerisms get worse when he's particularly anxious, like when he might have thought Venom didn't want to come back just as Anne when she left and never wanted to come back.

Again, because he pushed them away, just like Anne. Again, because he messed it up. And again, because he didn't know how he was supposed to fix it.

Because Eddie cares so much even though his head is always such a mess. Makes me think his dad had a say or two about Eddie constantly groveling for his attention and the way it might have made him seem weak, and Eddie in turn stopped himself from letting himself be so open and able to talk about these issues because of it.

His inability to form and/or hold any kind of positive relationship is a good telling sign.

He grew up vying for love without success. He doesn't know what a healthy relationship is supposed to look or feel like long term, even though he tries.

He probably just looks for some level on comfortable routine in his day to day with someone, assumes that's the best he's going to get, and hopes for the best. Any change and it throws him completely off center. He's not used to communicating in a relationship when he grew up talking to a wall.

Also why I think he handles being with Venom so badly. It's not the eating heads and it's not the whole 'alien living in my body' ordeal.

If something isn't obviously positive it feels negative to him in his mind, which makes everything worse. He's selfish in needing to keep his mental state positive. It no doubt contributed to his alcoholism.

He became a people pleaser. Not in the way of gaining attention, but because he's constantly trying to avoid any negative sentiments directed his way. He's already damaged. He doesn't want to have to feel worse.

Eddie is in constant fight or flight with Venom without knowing what the symbiote will do next and how he, Eddie, will be perceived. He becomes very anxious, and later, angry. He's always walking on eggshells.

But the relationship is different with the symbiote than it is with Anne. Even if Eddie doesn't explicitly say it, he feels safe with Venom. More able to let that rage out that he couldn't before. And because he doesn't feel like the symbiote is going to actually hurt him, when his stress gets to him he tends to lash out at it. It's a lovely little cycle of abuse and Eddie really needs therapy.

Venom didn't fully understand the layers of Eddie's traumatized mind yet in LTBC, which is why I think it lashed out as well. Like Anne had with Eddie. Again, it's different though. Venom understands enough to see through that mess and see that Eddie doesn't mean anything with what he says.

It never does damage with malicious intent to Eddie, comedic acts aside. Not even with the fight between them in LTBC. It breaks Eddie's nose twice just to heal it immediately twice, and doesn't leave him with any lasting damage at all.

Because it cares about Eddie. And because it was never meant to harbor emotions, it's probably going through the damn gambit having to feel everything through Eddie and feeling just as hurt by him.

This is also why I think Eddie is constantly complaining in TLD. He's again in constant fight or flight and too comfortable with Venom, so he's just lashing out. But you can tell the symbiote takes none of it to heart, sometimes even seeming to ignore his remarks completely.

Maybe after a year with Eddie it finally understands the pain underneath all that stunted emotion, anxiety, and anger. That, and Eddie no longer drinks his negative emotions away, which means he has less ways to calm himself when he gets too stressed.

Through everything, Venom is the only one who has the ability to see the issues that are deeper. It stayed through all that mess and decided that what was under the baggage was worth holding on to, without Eddie having to try and explain why he is the way that he is.

[sixhours]

i know you by heart - chapter 1

Series Chapter Index | Read on AO3 | Complete

Rating: Explicit, 18+, here be smut Series tags: The Last of Us, The Last of Us (HBO), Prospect, Joel Miller x Ezra, Joel & Ellie, Ezra & Cee, Joel is bad at feelings and relationships, Ellie is a little shit (affectionate), mostly follows canon after season 1, SMUT, gay sex, bisexual!Joel, period-typical homophobia, light angst, romance, age gap (~10ish years), I've probably forgotten some so please let me know <3

“Tell me again how it happened.”

It’s a standoff in the kitchen. Ellie’s face, flushed and furious, twists in a pout. Joel grips the back of a dining chair with one tight fist.

One week. It’s been one fucking week since school started, and Ellie has already come home with the pink slip of all pink slips.

“She tried to take my pen. Twice.”

“And?”

“So I…I took my knife out…”

“Uh-huh.”

 “...and I stabbed it into her desk…”

Joel winces.

“...and I told her if she tried that shit again I’d do the same to her fucking finger.”

“Ellie–”

“It’s not my fucking fault no one taught her to keep her hands to herself!”

“I know, and she–she shouldn’t have done that, Ellie, but you can’t just–”

“It’s not like I actually stabbed someone, Joel!”

“Doesn’t fuckin’ matter, kid. You can’t–you can’t do that shit here. This ain’t FEDRA. There’s no hole. Keep it up and they’re liable to put us outside the damn wall.”

“Tommy wouldn’t–“

“He doesn’t run this place. An’ Maria’s already on my ass about…everythin’.”

“Maybe we should leave, then,” she huffs.

“You don’t mean that.”

“We made out okay. We could do it again.”

“Ellie,” his voice softens. He draws his palms down his face. The start of a headache pulses behind his eyes. “Look, I know it’s…different. But we’re here now. We gotta make do.”

Four months in Jackson. Four months since he shot his way out of a hospital in Salt Lake City and carried the unconscious girl to safety. Four months since she asked for the truth and he told her the whopper of all lies instead.

When he thinks about it that way, things are going about as well as he has any right to expect.

He’d hoped going to school would give her some structure, that she’d make a few friends, but so far, every morning has been a trudge, every night a standoff. When she’s not clinging to his side like a lost lamb or waking from nightmares to crawl into his bed, she’s hurling sharp words and slamming doors and stomping around.

Months on the road together, but he’s never seen her so goddamn bratty.

He’s taking a lot of deep breaths. He’s counting to ten. He’s trying not to see the judgmental frowns from his sister-in-law when Ellie storms out of a family gathering or calls him an asshole at the caf in front of the whole fuckin’ town.

She’s never had the space to act out, he reminds himself. She’s never been fed enough, warm enough, safe enough, loved enough, and he gets the brunt of her anger. The way Sarah would come home after a long day at school and turn into a grouchy wildebeest for him after being an angel for her teachers.

It’s normal, he tells himself on the worst nights. Ellie’s making up for fourteen years of repression.

But he’s tired and she’s strumming his last nerve like it’s a fuckin’ guitar.

She’s holding out another note, this one hand-written and co-signed by members of the council. He notes Maria’s signature at the top with some disdain.

“Counseling,” Joel sighs, skimming it. “Mandated. Twelve weeks.”

“You’re not really gonna make me go, are you? C’mon, man, it’s a death sentence!”

“Hardly. You’re lucky they didn’t suspend you.”

“I wish they had. Then I wouldn’t have to go to that stupid fucking school.”

“Ellie–”

“I hate it here,” she spits out. Her lower lip trembles and he has to look away, eking out a tight breath.

“Yeah, kid. I know. But you gotta give it a chance.”

“I did, and it sucks.”

“You’re not giv–”

“Going to my room,” she huffs, already moving for the stairs. 

“You need to eat first,” he says, gritting his teeth when she rolls her eyes. “And you’re grounded.”

Those words have never come out of his mouth. He doesn’t even know what being grounded looks like in this day and age.

“What?! Joel–”

“You heard me,” he says, making it up as he goes. “Two weeks. You’re back here every night after your assignments. No wanderin’ around with your friends.”

“Lucky for me I don’t have any fucking friends.”

“That ain’t–“

“This is bullshit,” she seethes, then turns on her heel and stomps up the stairs.

“Damnit, Ellie, you need to eat–”

“I’m not hungry!”

The door at the top of the stairs slams shut, ending the conversation and leaving Joel to collapse into a chair with his face in his hands.

“Yeah,” he mutters to himself. “Yeah, this is bullshit.”

One week later she’s sulking over breakfast at the house.

“The guy wants to talk to you,” she says through a mouthful of eggs.

“‘The guy’? And close your mouth when you chew.”

Ellie wrinkles her nose, opening her mouth wide to show him her half-chewed breakfast, a move that’s painfully reminiscent of a different time, a different kid.

“I told you at dinner. The counselor guy.”

He frowns. “It’s a guy?”

She rolls her eyes. “And women can even be doctors! Dude, you are so old .”

“S’not what I meant, smartass,” he mutters. “I just…I know you’ve had some, uh…issues with…guys.”

Since Silver Lake , he doesn’t say.

“Only the creepy ones,” she says, stabbing a piece of potato. “Ezra’s not creepy. He’s, like, cool. He has a huge record collection.”

“Uh-huh. An’ he needs to see me why?”

“I don’t fucking know, dude. Unlike you, I didn’t give him the third degree.”

He bites his tongue. “Alright. When?”

“Before school. Today.”

Joel looks at the clock, then back at Ellie. 7:50 .

“So we need to go…right now,” he mutters, draining his coffee and gathering his dishes to put them in the sink. “Thanks for the notice.”

“I told you last night! Not my fault you’re deaf.”

Admittedly, she’d talked a lot at dinner last night. Mostly about how some kid named Dina was a jerk who deserved to have her finger taken off for being a ‘fucking klepto’ with her pen. But he’d been so tired and the headache behind his eyes won’t give him a rest.

“Alright, let’s go,” he sighs. “Don’t forget your bag.”

They step out into the streets of Jackson on a mild September morning. It’s the rush hour–if a town of a few hundred can be said to have a rush hour–with shift changes on the wall and everyone off to their assigned duties. They pass familiar faces; neighbors Joel still doesn’t have names for, kids he recognizes from Ellie’s school who give them a wide berth. Joel hunches inward, following the maroon cast of her sweatshirt through clusters of Jackson residents.

“You don’t have a brother, do you?” she says out of the blue.

“You know I do,” he frowns.

“No duh. But you don’t have another brother, right?”

“Not that I’m aware of, kid.”

“Like, what if your dad had a secret family–”

“Christ, where do you come up with this stuff?”

“C’mon, it can happen! I just–I wondered–”

“What the heck are you gettin' at, kid? Spit it out.”

“It’s nothin’,” she says, but there’s a weird little smile on her face. “You’ll see.” 

She leads him to the little house at the other end of town and knocks on the blue door. Ellie keeps looking up at him with the same funny smirk.

A dark-eyed man answers, peering through the screen. Dark, fitted T-shirt, slim black jeans. Younger than Joel by at least ten years, probably more, with a wide smile and messy black-brown curls with an odd streak of white at his temple.

He looks like a fuckin’ punk.

“Hi, Ezra,” Ellie says breezily. “This is Joel.”

“Hello, young prodigy,” he smiles, drawling in a southern accent that Joel can’t quite place. “Come in, come in both of you…join me in my humble abode.”

He leads them inside and to the right, to a little den just off the entry. It’s a snug office with a couch and chair, a coffee table in the center, and bookshelves lining the walls on either side. A record player sits on a podium in one corner.

Joel puts out his hand, realizing too late the other man isn’t able to reciprocate, lacking an arm with which to do so. Ellie watches with a smug smirk, lips twitching a little as Joel drops his right hand and fumbles through a handshake with his left. He shoots her a glare.

Couldn’t have mentioned that?

She shrugs, feigning a wide-eyed innocence, then looks between the two men with a kind of manic glee, as if waiting for something.

“...what?” Joel finally asks.

“You don’t see it?” She gestures to the other man.

“I don’t–”

“Jeez, I know you’re deaf but I didn’t think you were blind, too,” she groans. “He looks like you! If you weren’t, like, ancient.”

Joel’s face flushes as Ezra tries to hide a smile behind his hand.

“Enough of that, you little shi–smartypants,” Joel mutters.

“I suspect your young prodigy here gets the sense we might be of blood relation based on a similar, uh, distinguished profile.”

“That’s not, uh…that’s not possible, kid.”

“I agree,” Ezra says smoothly. “The universe is rife with serendipitous occurrences, and I do believe that’s what we have here. The mind is a funny thing. We see what we want to see, Ellie.”

“Seriously?!”

“Your dad here–”

“He’s not my dad,” Ellie corrects automatically. Joel can’t help but feel a pang of indignation at the speed with which she pipes up.

“My apologies,” Ezra murmurs. “I stand corrected. This is your…?”

“He’s just Joel.”

“Of course, gem. Just Joel,” Ezra smiles in his direction. “So I asked your Joel here to ensure you understood what we’re doing. As your guardian, Joel needs to be an integral part of this process.”

“Yeah, ‘bout that–what exactly are we doin’ again?” Joel asks.

“I suspect your young prodigy here is finding the adjustment to life in Jackson a bit…finicky. I’m here to help ease that transition in whatever way I can.”

“You can start by telling the other kids to stop fucking touching my stuff,” Ellie adds.

“Christ, Ellie–”

Ezra holds up his hand, cutting off Joel’s growl and addressing the girl. “Let’s not get weighted down by the minutiae of the situation we find ourselves in, gem. Suffice it to say, we have some work to do, and we need to do it cooperatively.”

Ellie crosses her arms and huffs, but Ezra’s easy manner seems to soothe something in the girl.

“Now that you’ve delivered your…Joel…to me, he and I are going to have a little tête-à-tête . Nothing damning, just the facts. And you, if I’m not mistaken, will be late to school.”

He leans down to scribble something on a notepad, then hands it to Ellie. “Give this to your teacher.”

“You go straight to school an’ home after chores,” Joel adds, watching the late slip disappear into the pocket of Ellie’s jeans. “You’re still grounded, ‘member?”

“Like you’d let me forget,” she mutters, trudging out the door, leaving it cracked slightly.

They hear the front door open and shut, but Ezra holds up one finger, watching the entry with sly eyes.

Wait.

Joel catches his drift.

“Ellie,” he says.

“Aw, c’mon, man,” she grumbles from the entry. “If you’re gonna talk about me, I should get to hear it.”

“We’re not going to talk about you, gem,” Ezra says. “But this is a private conversation between your esteemed guardian and myself. Please give us your discretion and make haste.”

“Ugh, fine.”

Ezra goes to the office door and gently shuts it. Suddenly closed in the small room with a stranger, Joel feels a familiar but unwelcome prickle of fear take root. It’s the same feeling that has him sleeping with a gun under his mattress and locking his door at night, despite Tommy’s assurances that Jackson is safe as houses.

Without thinking, he reaches for his holster–the holster that isn’t there, because he doesn’t wear it unless he’s on patrol, because Jackson is a community and not the fucking QZ. It’s a subtle tic, but Ezra notices.

“We can open it if you’d prefer to partake of the fresh air.”

Joel swallows his fear with a dollop of shame. “S’fine.”

Ezra nods. “Have a seat if you like.”

He takes the chair across the small room, considering Joel through thick lashes. His face is kind, but something about the man’s gaze leaves Joel uneasy, like a bug under a magnifying glass. There’s a warm, simmering coil of tension in his gut that he can’t place.

Indigestion , Joel decides. Too much coffee.

He settles on the couch, old cushions and springs protesting, then leans forward on his knees, glancing around.

“You, uh…you like music?” he says, gesturing to the shelves of vinyl just behind Ezra.

“I do,” he says. “I was fortunate to find this sizable collection in the attic upon being assigned a house. I’ve added to it as I find new treasures to trade. And you?”

“Huh?”

“Do you enjoy music, Joel?”

“Uh, sure, yeah,” he says, rubbing at his lips self-consciously. “Play a little here and there. Guitar.”

Ezra’s face lights up. “Ah! A musician!”

“Hardly.”

“Speaking as one who can’t carry a tune in a bucket, color me impressed.”

The office window is wide open, a cool autumn breeze floating through and rifling the other man’s already unruly hair, but a deep heat has settled at the base of Joel’s neck and the room suddenly feels like a hot summer’s day.

He clears his throat. “So, uh…Ellie says you’re a counselor?”

“Indeed.”

“An’ you have, uh, qualifications? Somethin’ that says you’re the man for the job?”

Ezra grins at this. “I know I don’t look the part of the sage, and I can appreciate your frank concern. I do have some experience in this area, surprising as that may be. Before the outbreak, I was a Master’s student in clinical psychology. Although I didn’t get much opportunity to practice for reasons that should be quite obvious.”

“Right.”

“The fine folks of Jackson have been kind enough to give me a place and a profession that suits my abilities. I’m not much use drawing a plow or riding a horse, I’m afraid,” Ezra continues, nodding to his right shoulder.

“But before we proceed, I should like to understand your expectations and to set a few of my own. For one, I’m not here to play Freud. And I’m hardly qualified to make a diagnosis of any sort,” he continues. “A diagnosis isn’t worth a damn in this day and age, and I suspect you’d agree.”

Joel bites his lip. “Look, uh, I’ll be honest. Last time I set foot in a place like this, it did jack shit and ended in a divorce. So you’ll forgive me if I ain’t entirely comfortable with my…with Ellie…comin’ in here and talkin’ your ear off.”

“Trust that you are not the first to express concern or have a, let’s say, downright suspicious quality about this particular practice. But I hope you’ll humor me when I say that I, like you, only want what is best for Ellie. She’s a bright girl, that one. Very perceptive.”

Joel huffs softly. “Too damn smart for her own good sometimes.”

This elicits a tiny smile, leaving Joel worried he’s spoken too harshly.

“But she’s a good kid,” he adds quickly. “A really…good kid.”

Ezra nods. “I hope you don’t mind my saying so, but I think she could benefit from the ear of a friend. As I said, she’s bright. I wanted to try to get a clearer picture of her through your eyes. Your family dynamic, if you will. I take it there’s no Mrs. Joel? Or…Mr. Joel?”

Joel snorts. “Just me an’ her.”

“And she’s adopted?”

“Somethin’ like that,” Joel murmurs, scratching his chin. “We, uh…I had a job to move her out here. From Boston. Was supposed to find, uh…her relatives…but that didn’t work out and my brother, Tommy, gave us a place here.”

Ezra nods but doesn’t say anything further. He sprawls in the chair, legs spread, almost slouched, one forearm draped over the side. Relaxed but intent, eyebrows drawn together with an unspoken question. Joel swallows, finding his mouth suddenly dry.

“You, uh, need to write this down or anythin’?” Joel coughs, gesturing to the notepad on the coffee table in front of them.

Ezra shakes his head, smiling slightly. “No…no, we’re just having a conversation. No need to put it on the record for now. So…Boston to Jackson. That must have been quite the excursion.”

“You could say that.”

“I expect it wasn’t exactly uneventful?”

“No,” Joel says, almost too quickly. “No, it was, uh…she went through a lot. Stuff no kid should have to see…to do. You’ll have to ask her about it, though. S’not my place to talk for her.”

“I intend to do that,” Ezra nods. “I look forward to getting to know her over the next twelve weeks. And hopefully beyond, if she’ll give me the chance.”

“Don’t get your hopes up,” Joel mutters. “She’s a bit…gunshy. Especially around, uh, men. Even Tommy…she can’t be alone with him, an’ he’s about as tame as they come.”

“But she feels safe with you?”

“Think so. I mean, I’m all she had for months…out there,” he shrugs. “But that went both ways. We’re prob’ly what you shrinks call, uh…codependent.”

Ezra nods, voice softening. “A little codependency can mean the difference between life or death in a difficult time. And I imagine it’s been an adjustment…all this. I know we–I–found it difficult at first. Even the thickest of walls aren’t enough if we don’t feel truly safe in the heart and mind.”

Joel bites his lip. “Yeah…yeah. It’s different.”

“And how about you, Joel?”

“How ‘bout me what?”

“You’ve been through a similar ordeal, I presume, traveling together. And now you find yourself the unexpected father figure to a dynamic and spirited young lady–”

Joel bites back a scoff. “This ain’t about me.”

Ezra shrugs. “I don’t mean to pry, and you’re free to pass on anything you don’t feel comfortable answering, of course. I’m just trying to build a picture in the interest of aiding my work with Ellie.”

The temptation to pass is strong, but that heat in his gut is still there, a distraction loosening his tongue. 

“Yeah, I guess it’s, uh…it’s been a lot. For both of us, but mostly her,” he says, rubbing at the back of his neck. “She’s not used to havin’ someone in her corner. She’s…she was an orphan…before.”

He sighs, allowing himself to sink back into the couch cushions, shoulders loosening a fraction.

“I told her not to bring that damn knife to school in the first place,” he says, glancing down at his broken watch. “But she needed it when we were on the road. She’s prob’ly needed it all her damn life. Seems wrong to ask her to give that up when we’ve only been here a few months. Not that she’s s’posed to be waving it around at folks, or…y’know.”

“Mmm,” he says. “Well, I don’t intend to lay blame here. Raising a child…alone…comes with its fair share of hardships and trials. Regardless, it’s a noble endeavor, to take one into your care.”

He snorts. “Think she’s done more to take care of me than the other way around.”

“If I may be so bold…I suspect you’re not giving yourself enough credit.”

“I’m sure she’ll tell you,” Joel says drily. “Kid’s not one to hold back.”

Ezra grins. “I sensed as much.”

He stands, offering his hand, and Joel takes it. The man’s grip is firm and warm and the memory of his touch lingers on Joel’s skin long after he’s left. That warm flare in his gut throbs, a not-unpleasant heat licking gently at the base of his spine, and he finally places it.

It’s been so damn long since he’s felt that particular burn, being on the road for months, never safe, never alone given Ellie’s constant companionship. There was probably a time or two in his early days with Tess when he found himself surprised by desire, but it was easily smothered, tamed, wrested into submission.

That night, Joel tosses and turns and finally gives into the low-level arousal that’s plagued him all damn day, palming himself roughly through his sweats until he’s fully hard.

He imagines Ezra’s eyes on him, watching, remembers the feel of the man’s skin against his palm. He bites back a groan of pleasure when he eases his waistband over his cock and takes himself out, allowing his grip to tighten and find a familiar, easy rhythm. He can’t get the younger man’s voice out of his head, that low, rumbling baritone, so oddly soothing.

He presses his face into the pillow to muffle the sound when he comes.

[sofiaispunk]

The Bakery Crush - PART (1/2)

Joel Miller x Reader, Ellie Williams x Platonic!Reader

summary: Just two fools clearly in love, pining over each other because ... well, they are fools.

words: 3kish

warnings: angst, JEALOUSY, Joel being a fool, smut, pining, age gap, bad puns, heartbreak, 18+

You enjoyed the little things in Jackson. The little fairy lights that brighten up the street and making Jackson almost feel like a magical wonderland, the vibrant colors of the changing leaves in autumn, the sound of the flowing water from the nearby river, but what you enjoyed the most was the smell of freshly baked bread from your little bakery on the corner in Mainstreet.

Shortly after arriving in Jackson Maria assigned, you to baking duty, since you were a professional baker before the outbreak, and showed you to your new working place.

It was a charming little bakery that had been abandoned for years but as you peered through the dusty windows, you immediately saw the potential. 

Tommy, Maria’s husband, helped you turn the rusty shop into your dream bakery. You spent countless hours painting the walls a warm shade of yellow, installing new cabinets and countertops, and laying down fresh tiles.

You were determined to make the bakery stand out, a place with a warm atmosphere where everybody felt welcomed. You even found old wooden crates to use as shelves, hung vintage baking utensils on the walls, and added some decorative flowers for the ambiance.

That was a year ago and since then your bakery has become the favorite place of the residents of Jackson and Jackson became your home.

-

You were busy kneading a batch of dough when you heard the familiar jingle of the bakery's bell. 

"Hey there, Ellie!" you greeted her with a smile. "How was school today?"

"It was fine," she replied, shrugging off her backpack. "But you know what would make it better? A freshly baked blueberry scone."

You chuckled. "You never change, do you? One blueberry scone for my favorite customer coming right up."

As you handed her a warm scone on a napkin, Ellie grinned mischievously. "Thanks, (y/n). This looks berry delicious!”

You couldn't help but chuckle at her pun. "That's a good one, Ellie. You really do have a way with words."

She grinned. "Thanks, I try. I mean, it's not like I'm rolling in dough like you are." She waggled her eyebrows at you and took another bite of the scone.

You laughed lightly, continuing to work on your dough, "You're too much, Ellie. But you always make me smile, that’s why you my favorite, y‘ know."

"Well, that's what I'm here for," she said with a grin. "To brighten up your day and eat all your delicious scones."

You rolled your eyes playfully. "You're lucky I like you, kid."

Ellie finished up the last of her scone and sighed contentedly. "Man, that hit the spot. I don't know how you do it, really. Your scones are always so flavorful and yummy."

"It's all about using the best ingredients and putting my secret ingredient in … love." You answered playfully, slightly cringing at your cheesy answer.

Ellie just groaned silently but nodded. "Well, it shows. You know, you really raisin the bar when it comes to baked goods."

Now it was your turn to groan. "That one was a bit of a stretch, Ellie."

"Hey, I can't help it. I'm on a roll today."

You both laughed as she grabbed her backpack and headed over to you to give you a small hug and a quick kiss on your cheek "Thanks for the scone. I’m off to Dina’s. See you, tomorrow.”

And with that Ellie rushed her way towards the exit.

"Take care, Ellie," you called after her with a smile. "And keep those puns coming, kid."

-

It was getting late and you were closing the store front for the day. You packed up the leftover treats from the bakery and couldn't help but think that maybe Joel would want to enjoy them. So you gathered up some pretzel pieces, bread, two scones that Ellie loves, and some croissants and made your way to Joel's house.

The evening sky painted in different hues of orange and pink. The streets were quiet as most people had retired for the night. You walked leisurely towards Joel's house, taking in the sights and sounds of the town you had grown to love.

When you reached the house, you knocked on the door and waited. Ellie opened the door with a surprised look on her face.

"Hey, Ellie. Sorry to drop by so late. I thought maybe you and Joel would want to have some of these leftover treats," you said, holding up the bag of the baked goods.

Ellie smiled, "Of course we would. You know he can never resist them, and neither can I. Come on in."

As you followed Ellie to the kitchen, you couldn't help but notice how cozy and warm their home was. The living room was dimly lit, and the only source of light came from the candles on the coffee table.

“Joel's not home yet, though.“ She said while tearing up a piece of croissant, “I don't know where he is, and it's kind of weird because he's never out this late."

Your eyebrows furrowed with concern. "Really? That's strange. Do you want me to stay with you until he gets back?"

Ellie shook her head. "No, that's okay. I'm sure he's just caught up with something. Thanks for the offer, though."

You nodded and headed over to the door, "Sure, no problem. Let me know if you need anything, okay kiddo?"

Ellie nodded and bid you goodnight and you made your way home, in desperate need of a warm shower after a long day at work. 

-

You stood under the warm shower, the water cascading down your body, the stream slowly relaxing your muscles, allowing yourself to let your mind wander. Thoughts of Joel flooded your mind. You couldn't help but think about his chiseled physique and his strong, defined features. His nose, perfectly carved, led down to his plush lips that always seemed to be turned down in a permanent scowl. 

But then, there was his smile. The one that could light up an entire room, the one that made your heart skip a beat. The way his face changed, softening, and becoming almost boyish, when he talked to Ellie. His soft brown eyes crinkling with laughter every time Ellie tells one of her many jokes. It was like seeing a completely different side of him, that almost felt like was just reserved for you and Ellie.

You let your soapy hands glide over your body pretending they were his big, calloused ones exploring your body. Steam filled the bathroom as your moans and whimpers echoed though the small room. 

You drew tight circles on your most aching part while imagining the way his broad shoulders would feel under your hands, and his strong thick fingers, that always seemed to be working on something, replacing yours. His lips sucking and licking on every part of your body, consuming you.

"Joel,” you let out a final moan, your voice not much above a whisper, as you reached your peak, your walls clenching around nothing.

The water started to cool as you tried to catch your breath, bringing you back to reality. You took a deep breath and stepped out of the shower, wrapping yourself in a fluffy towel. You knew you needed to push these thoughts aside, but a part of you couldn't help but think about Joel and wonder where he could be at this hour. You just prayed that he was okay.

-

The next morning, while you were getting ready to open the bakery, you noticed Joel and Ellie walking in. To your surprise Joel was carrying a bouquet of flowers and a bag of coffee beans, which caught you off guard.

"Good morning, (y/n)!" Ellie chirped, her eyes sparkling mischievously.

"Morning, Ellie. Morning, Joel. What brings you guys in today?" you asked, trying to sound as casual as possible.

Joel smiled warmly. "I just wanted to say thank you for the bread and scones yesterday. They were delicious. And I thought you might like these flowers and coffee beans as a small token of my appreciation."

Your felt your heartbeat race as he handed you the small bouquet of wildflowers. "Thank you, Joel. That's very thoughtful of you."

Ellie nudged you with her elbow, a sly grin on her face. "Looks like somebody's got a secret admirer… well, not so secret," she teased.

"Ellie, please. That’s enough" Joel gave Ellie a stern look. Ellie just shrugged innocently in return and skipped off to the display case, leaving you alone with Joel.

"Listen, I don't want to keep you from your work. I just wanted to let you know how much I appreciate what you do for me and especially for Ellie.  And, well, if you ever need anything, don't hesitate to ask."

“Thank you, that means a lot, Joel” you blushed slightly.

“Anytime, darlin’,” he placed his warm hand on yours and you felt a flutter in your stomach at the contact of his skin.

As if reading your mind, Ellie sauntered back over, a chocolate croissant in hand. "What's going on over here? Are you two making googly eyes at each other?"

Joel laughed. "No, Ellie. She and I were just having a friendly conversation."

But Ellie wasn't convinced. "Uh-huh. Sure, you were. Well, I'm going to go enjoy this delicious croissant. You two keep doing your thing."

As she walked away, Joel turned back to you with a warm smile. "Don't mind her, darlin´. She's just teasing. But, really, thank you again for everything."

As Joel and Ellie were about to leave, Ellie turned to you, "I almost forgot to ask you if you wanna come to the community hall tonight and watch a movie with us?"

"Really? You want lil’ old me to come with you?" you teased.

Ellie rolled her eyes. "Duh. We wouldn't have asked if we didn't want you to come. We're watching this old western movie that Joel loves. You know, to keep up with his cowboy persona."

Joel chuckled. "Ellie, you know I'm not a real cowboy. But, yes, we would love it if you came. “

You grinned. "I would love to come. And I'll bring some blueberry scones."

Ellie's eyes lit up. "Yes! I knew you would say that. Those are my favorites."

-

You made your way to the community hall, the twinkle lights hanging above the entrance, casting a warm and inviting glow. The hall itself was a modest, single-story building with wooden walls and a sloping roof. Overall it was a cozy space and pretty much the center point of your little community.

As you entered the hall, you were greeted by Tommy and Maria , who were standing by the door, handing out programs for the evening's event. They both smiled and greeted you warmly.

"Hey there, (y/n)!" Tommy said. "Glad you could make it."

Maria chimed in. "Yes, we're all excited for the movie tonight. Have you seen it before?"

You shook your head. "No, I haven't. But I've heard good things. Ellie seemed excided."

You made some small talk about the movie and the bakery before you spotted Ellie and Joel sitting in the front row. You made your way over to them, feeling a sense of excitement and anticipation.

"Hey, guys," you said, sitting down next to them. "Looks like we got good seats."

Ellie grinned. "Of course, we did. Dad always gets here early to get the best spot."

Joel chuckled. "That's right. Gotta be prepared."

Joel was holding a big bag of popcorn and handed it over to you, your fingers barely touching, sending shivers down your entire body. "’M glad you could make it.” he whispered into your ear. You felt his breath lightly tickling your earlobe.

"Oh, I have a small favor," Ellie exclaimed, turning back to you, causing you to abruptly snap out of your trance. 

"Dina's birthday is next week. Do you think you could make her a cake?" Ellie asked shyly. “Only if you want of course and only if you have enough spare ingredients. I know it’s a lot to ask from you but Dina is not just any friend … well…  she is my friend of course but she is my best friend and special and I want to do something extra special for her. I am sorry, just forget I said anything. “ Ellie was visibly distressed.

You smiled and put a reassuring hand on her arm to stop her rambling. "Of course I can. What kind of cake were you thinking about?"

Ellie's eyes sparkled with excitement. "She loves chocolate. And... wait for it... peanut butter."

You laughed. "Well, it sounds like we'll have to come up with something extra special for her then."

Ellie hugged you tightly and you couldn’t help but feel so much adoration for the girl. In the short timespan you knew each other she crawled her way into your heart and became part of your family.

Ellie nudged you. "Oh and look, there's Karen and her grandkids. She's been raving about your cinnamon rolls all week." 

You looked around the hall and were surprised to see how many people had shown up for the movie night. There were families with kids, elderly couples, and even a few teenagers.

You smiled. "I'm glad to hear that. Maybe I'll make some for the next movie night."

The lights dimmed and the movie began, Joel and Ellie sat on either side of you, munching on popcorn and occasionally making side comments about the movie. You were immediately drawn into the Western that was playing, with its sweeping landscapes and rugged cowboys which kind of reminded you of Joel.

About halfway through the movie, a woman sat down next to Joel and began talking to him, completely ignoring the fact that you were in the middle of a film. Ellie let out an annoyed huff and shushed her, but the woman didn't seem to get the message.

You turned to Ellie and gave her a gentle nudge. "Hey, now. Let's not be rude," you whispered.

“She’s the one being rude. “Ellie rolled her eyes but quieted down and turned her attention back to the movie.

You on the other hand found yourself growing more and more distracted by the conversation between the woman and Joel. They laughed and chatted, and Joel seemed to be thoroughly enjoying her company. 

Your curiosity was piqued, and you couldn't help but feel a pang of jealousy. Who is that woman? How do they know each other? Did he invite her to watch the movie with him? You tried to focus on the movie, but every time the woman laughed, your attention was drawn back to their conversation.

 Your thoughts didn’t seem to quiet down and raced through your mind, and you found yourself feeling increasingly agitated. At the corner of your eye stole a glance at Ellie, who was engrossed in the movie. 

You strained your ears to catch snippets of the conversation between Joel and the woman and immediately noticed the flirtatious undertones in their banter. The woman was playing with her hair, and Joel kept stealing glances at her. You felt a knot forming in your stomach as you watched them. 

At one point, you heard the woman mention something about a rodeo, and Joel's face lit up with a smile. "Oh, you were a natural on that bull," he whispered, chuckling.

The woman grinned. "Yeah, until I fell off and almost broke my arm," she replied, playfully punching Joel in the arm.

Then, the woman leaned in close to Joel and whispered something in his ear. You couldn't hear what she said, but Joel's eyes widened, and he let out a low chuckle.

She leaned back in her seat. "What do you say, cowboy?" she asked, winking at him.

The credits rolled and the lights came on, and you quickly stood up and you couldn’t wait to get out of there. You couldn't bear to be in the same room as Joel and the woman any longer. You didn’t care how childish you were behaving or if somebody would notice your weird behavior. The jealousy and hurt were too much to bear in this moment.

You hugged Ellie tightly, not wanting to let go. "Thanks for inviting me, Ellie. I had a great time," you said, your voice barely above a whisper.

Ellie looked up at you with concern in her eyes. "Hey, you ok, right?" she asked, sensing that something was off.

You forced a smile and nodded. "Yeah, of course, Ellie Bellie. Just a little tired," you lied.

Joel and the woman looked over at you, and you nodded in their direction goodbye, unable to meet their gaze, and quickly made your way out of the hall.

Once outside, you steadied your breathing and tried to compose yourself. You felt foolish for letting your emotions get the best of you. Afterall, Joel was a free man, and he was entitled to date whoever he wanted. You knew this, but you still couldn't shake the feeling of disappointment and hurt.

 Suddenly the sky opened up and it started to rain heavily. It felt like the world was crying with you. The raindrops were mixing with your tears, and you couldn't tell the difference between the two. The wind was picking up, and you felt cold to the bone. It was as if the weather knew the pain you were feeling and was trying to make it worse.

 Your body was shaking uncontrollably, and you felt foolish for thinking that there could have been something between you and Joel. How could you be so naive? Joel was just being kind to you, and you misinterpreted his kind gestures and turned it in some twisted delusional romantic idea.

How pathetic of you for even considering the possibility that Joel might have had feelings for you.

You wrap your arms around yourself, trying to hold yourself together as the rain continues to beat down on you.

At the end of the day, Joel Miller, was nothing more than your stupid little crush.

Part 2

[punkshort]

Chapter warnings: language, mild reference to self harm and SA, alcohol

Chapter Eighteen - extra scene

"Thought you weren't drinkin' tonight?" he said to you.

“I changed my mind,” you said and gave him a wink before following Maria and finding two empty stools up against the bar.

Joel ticked his jaw to the side as he watched you leave, finding it difficult to tear his eyes from you. He told himself he was being protective, but he knew deep down there was another reason. A more selfish reason. He watched as you lifted a glass filled with clear liquid to your lips and the wince that followed. It wasn't even sexual, but his body was reacting anyway. He swallowed roughly, trying to control his thoughts while his brother was sitting less than a foot away. Must be the whiskey.

“You got it bad, huh?” Tommy said. Joel expected his tone to be teasing but it was more sympathetic and understanding. He finally pulled his gaze from you to look at his brother, trying to decide how much to confide in him.

“Shit,” Joel said, taking a swig of whiskey. “She’s got me wrapped around her finger.”

Tommy laughed and clapped Joel on the back.

“Yeah, well, it’s about time. Told ya a year ago. I could see it all over your face, even back then.”

Joel winced as he remembered the fight you had, swirling the liquid around in his glass with his wrist.

“I almost fucked it up, Tommy. Thought I did fuck it up, actually,” he took another sip as Tommy leaned back in his chair. “I ran into her the night before my birthday. At a bar. We had both been drinkin’ and I guess it all just boiled over. Had me makin’ out with her outside the bar like I was a goddamn teenager.” Joel laughed softly at the memory, then looked back at you marveling at the string lights hanging above the bar.

“So, what happened?” Tommy pressed, tapping his fingers lightly on the table. Joel sighed.

“Asked her to come home with me, she said no, said she had been drinkin’ too much, which was a good call, and I knew it. But the next day I had this grand plan to get her alone and ask her out properly. Dinner, drinks, whatever she wanted to do,” Joel sighed again and rubbed his face in his hands.

“Right before she was comin’ up to my office, I saw her with some guy in the copy room. Looked like she was flirtin’ with him. Found out later the guy was gay and they were just messin’ around but I fuckin’ yelled at her. I had no right, and I made her cry. Called her a whore,” Joel downed the rest of his whiskey at the memory and Tommy signaled to Seth to bring over two more.

“Jesus, Joel. A whore? That’s harsh,” Tommy said in disbelief.

“I fuckin’ know that,” Joel seethed and his fist clenched. “It was just… the fuckin’ copy room.”

Tommy’s eyes widened in realization, then nodded.

“Right. Shit.”

“Anyway,” Joel continued, nodding his thanks to Seth for the drink and wrapping his hand around the glass. “That’s why she quit. That’s why I was runnin’ down the street after her when shit hit the fan. It was tense for a while, we never talked about it, til we did. Cleared the air and all that.” He took a sip and smiled against the glass as he remembered that night in the house when you finally hashed it all out and admitted your feelings for each other. “Ended up workin’ out, somehow. Don’t know what she sees in me but I ain’t complainin’.”

“Well, brother, you hold onto her for as long as she lets you. I could tell right away. Never saw you this happy in my life, even with Amy.”

Joel cringed at the name, and Tommy laughed.

“Oh, c'mon, it’s been years and I can’t even say her name?”

“There’s more,” Joel groaned, and took a healthy sip from his glass. “Turns out, Amy is alive and well in Kansas City. Found that out the very fuckin’ hard way while back.” Tommy’s jaw dropped.

“You’re fuckin’ kidding me,” he said.

“She’s runnin’ some fucked up community out there, whorin’ out the women to all the men like ration cards. Fuckin’… animals.” Joel squeezed his eyes shut as he rubbed his chest, breathing deep to keep the panic at bay.

Tommy grew silent as he started to connect the dots.

“And you brought her there.” Tommy said it as more of a statement rather than a question, and Joel gave him a tight nod.

“I didn’t know,” he choked out, rubbing the back of his neck as he tried to hide the emotion in his face. “This one fucker, he cornered her in a closet, and- and I wasn’t there, I wasn’t there to protect her,” he jabbed his finger aggressively on the table as he stared at Tommy. “I fucked up again, Tommy. I thought she was gonna –“ Joel stopped himself from finishing his sentence, leaning back in the chair and raking his hand through his hair. “I thought I was gonna lose her.”

Tommy exhaled harshly and shook his head, absorbing the heaviness of the conversation and trying to find the right words to soothe his brother.

“But she didn’t, Joel. She’s here, and look at her,” Tommy pointed over to you and Maria at the bar and Joel looked up. Maria must have seen Tommy’s gesture because she caught his eye and you turned around. You looked at him with warmth and a small smile before turning back to Maria.

“She’s fine, Joel. She lived, and she’s happy, isn’t she?” Joel scoffed at the word fine.

“Yeah, took a long time, but she’s comin’ around. I can see the spark in her eyes again, she’s laughin’ and smilin’ all the time, especially since she got here. And Tommy,” Joel reached out a hand to place on his shoulder, blaming the alcohol for making him so uncharacteristically emotional in front of his brother. “I’ll never be able to thank you enough for giving her this place.”

Tommy smiled and waved Joel’s hand off his shoulder.

“I didn’t make this place, she did,” he nodded in Maria’s direction, who was engrossed in conversation with you at the bar.

“Yeah, I suppose that's true,” Joel leaned back and took a sip of his drink, deciding it was time to pay Tommy back for all his teasing. “Seems as though you might be wrapped around her finger as well?” Joel raised an eyebrow at Tommy and he smirked.

“We kissed a few times, usually when we were drinkin’ but nothin’ more,” Tommy admitted, focusing on the liquid in his glass.

“Where’s the heartbreaker that used to tear through our office, chasin’ every skirt he saw?” Joel grinned as Tommy shifted uncomfortably in his seat. Joel froze briefly when he saw out of the corner of his eye Maria gently lay her hand on top of yours, and he tensed, waiting for you to panic, but he was amazed to see you interlock your fingers with her own.

“I think those days are behind me, brother. She’s the only one I’ve got eyes for. Been that way for too long now,” Tommy admitted, a bit of sadness to his voice that brought Joel’s focus back to his brother.

“What’s the problem, then?” Joel pushed, nudging his knee against Tommy’s under the table.

“Ah, you know. I get a million excuses. Too busy, wants to keep it casual, all that. But for the first time, I don’t want somethin’ casual. I want somethin’ more, you know?”

Joel wanted to tease his brother some more, but he felt for him at that moment, relating all too well to his dilemma.

“Give it some time, she’ll come around. Hell, we got nothin’ but time now,” Joel chuckled, then tried to change the subject. “So anyway, tell me how the hell you ended up in Wyoming when you were supposed to be in California.”

Tommy began to regale Joel with his story about ending up in a QZ and meeting Seth and Maria when he saw you both heading towards his table, your arm slung through hers.

"I'm gonna head back," you told him, your arm still linked with Maria's. "I'm tired."

"Alright, I'll come with you," he said, flattening his palms against the table to stand, but you held your hand out.

"Why don't you stay with Tommy and catch up? Maria can walk me home," you turned to her with a smile that she returned.

He gave you a knowing look and cleared his throat.

"You sure?" he asked, clearly uneasy about you leaving his sight. You nodded.

"One hundred percent. Stay," you told him firmly, and he sat back down in his chair. "Spend time with your brother." Tommy shot you a grateful smile, but you missed it, trying to assure Joel through your gaze. "It's okay," you added softly, and he slowly nodded.

"I won't be long," he promised, and you waved him off.

"Take as much time as you want, I'm just going to fall asleep the minute I get back."

"Alright, then," Joel said, and you tossed him a wave as Maria pulled you towards the door and down the street.

Tommy chuckled as he downed the rest of his whiskey.

“Fall asleep the minute she gets back… doesn’t sound like you’re getting lucky tonight, brother.”

Tommy grabbed the empty glasses to bring to the bar, waving Seth down for another round as Joel groaned, rubbing his face in the palms of his hands.

Chapter Nineteen

Tag list: @chiogarza @sparklejumpropequeen-777 @shotgun-shelby @partyofone3413 @nana90azevedo

[charliehoennam]

Jarhead

Chapter 1 - The Set Up

A/N: this is a little series based on Jake Gyllenhaal's character Anthony Swofford in the movie Jarhead. Jake is just too cute in the movie to ignore and I just wanna give him a happy ending with lots of angst on the way there. Shoutout to @juniebugg for the idea!

Pairing: Anthony Swofford x f!reader

Warnings: mentions of bad break-ups, flirtation, language, no smut....yet

Word count: 3,185

SHARING IS CARING, SO REBLOG!

You walked into the salon, greeting your lady co-workers as you strutted to your station. Doing hair was definitely not putting your degree in practice, but it got your bills paid. And you found it rather pleasing helping other regain their confidence. The salon belonged to your aunt and you had worked there since high school. It helped get you through high school and college, though it wasn’t quite enough to keep you from applying for student loans.

Despite not being in your area, you liked the salon. You liked the people you met, the elderly regulars that stopped by once a week for a perm or a manicure, the neighborhood gossip that they were always eager to share, the co-workers that always had your back.

One of them was Maria. She was a beautiful woman with long dark hair and tan skin that made even gold envious. She was admirable in so many ways. With her husband, Juan, away on deployment, she was quickly thrust into the role of a single parent to their 3-year-old son. She never complained about it. She might have complained about Juan and his habits, but never that he had to be away. In some ways, she was very thankful. The Marines had provided many benefits for them to compensate for his absence like providing stable housing, health-care and education for their family. Granted there were flaws in the system and his absence was at times unbearable, she understood and supported his decision to enlist. Aside from being a great wife and mother, she was also your great friend.

“Buenos, chica” she smiled hugging you. “How was your date last night?”

“Total dud. Just didn’t really click, you know?”

“Yeah, I know why too. You still hung up on that fool.”

“I’m not hung up on anyone.”

“Yes, you are. That puto lost the best thing that ever happened to him, but you know what? Good for you. You’re better without him and you deserve better than his broke ass.”

“Can we please not talk about him?” You sighed, eager to leave your ex in the past.

“As you wish, chica. Besides, I got someone I want you to meet.” She smirked widely prepping her hair brushes and combs to make sure they’re clean for a new day.

“He cute?”

“Don’t tell Juan, but he is fine, chica. I love my man, but I know fine when I see it” she laughed nudging you with her elbow. “His name is Tony, he’s gonna be at the barbeque we’re having for this weekend for Daniel’s birthday. You’re coming, right? Danny’s gonna be so sad if you don’t.”

“I’ll be there, don’t worry” you chuckled as you reassured her. “I already got his present and everything. I wouldn’t miss it for the world. You know how I adore that little man.”

And you really did. You often babysat him when Juan was on leave and needed some alone time with his wife.

“Good, because I already told Tony I’ll be introducing you to him.”

“Are you serious? You know how I feel about that, Mari.”

“Girl, don’t worry. I showed him a picture and he’s interested. I think you guys are a great match and Juan agrees.”

“Juan agrees with everything you say, he’s your husband” you laughed.

“Well, just come out and meet him. You don’t have to do anything and if you’re not interested, I’ll forget it. But trust me, you’re gonna wanna meet him” she chuckled with a smirk.

"Fine. I'll meet him, but I'm not promising anything."

From everything she described about Tony, you couldn't deny the butterflies forming in your stomach as the days went by. As the hours crept closer, they quickly began to swarm in your belly and you couldn't remember the last time you felt this way.

You decided to look extra nice that day. It was more than just a casual birthday party, but you also didn't want to go over the top. Settling on a new figure flattering skirt and cute top, you accessorized strategically with a cute necklace that hung just above your fairly modest cleavage. You weren't hoping to end up married by the end of the day, but Lord knows you needed some physical action.

The party was already in full swing by the time you arrived with your renowned dish of crispy and perfectly seasoned panko fried vegetables. Knowing they were a popular favorite among the adults, you'd made more than plenty in two large aluminum foil pans.

Walking into the backyard through the side gate, you immediately recognized the song playing from inside the house. Love Like This by Faith Evans was a personal favorite of Maria's and you had sung to that exactly CD mix in the car plenty of times driving home from your girls night out.

The kids were happily playing on the bounce house Juan had rented for the day. Some played in the pool, stopping only to find their parents for a drink of water. Most of the women were sat by the picnic table setting out the food, so you quickly made your way over to greet them. You knew everyone pretty well having been a family friend for years. Some were Maria's aunts and cousins. A few were your own co-workers and you greeted everyone, with a warm, bright smile and a gentle embrace.

Looking over at the grilling area that had been Juan's third pride and joy - second to the pool he had been finally able to afford and his very own family- you couldn't help but scan over the men gathered there. You couldn't make out what they were talking about, but you knew that Tony had to be one of them. Your heart raced at the thought.

Your eyes landed on a tall man stood beside Juan, helping him man the grill. His hair was short as if he'd been growing it out after a buzz cut. His features strongly resembled Maria's description. His smile stretched from ear to ear as he patted Juan on his shoulder, possibly complimenting him on something. You couldn't tell what he said; the distance and music didn't quite favor that. His long thick eyebrows intensified the bright blue orbs that shone even from a distance and sent goosebumps down your arms the second he caught you staring.

You blushed and quickly looked back down at your dish as you removed the aluminum foil to reveal the fried tasty side dish, secretly praying he hadn't noticed. But unknowingly to you, he had.

Just as you knew who he was, he knew exactly who you were as well. Juan told him all about you the day after he'd agreed with Maria to hook you two up. And Tony couldn't be more thankful. He was starstruck the minute he saw you arrived. Juan nodded at you with a smirk as he laid another steak on the grill.

"That's her, man. What do you think huh?"

"I think she's fucking beautiful, that's what I think" he chuckled excitedly as he patted his friend’s shoulder.  "What’s her name again?” he joked.

"Dude, I know your brain is small and can only process shit at a slow pace, but please don't fuck up her name" Juan joked.

"I got it covered, man. Relax. Y/N will be in good hands soon enough" Tony chuckles back at him.

After sharing a couple smiles and glances, you decided to make the first move and walked over to grilling area as the guys began served the perfectly charred meats.

"Think you fellas could spare me a steak?" You smirked glancing between them.

"You can have your pick, sweetheart" Tony smiled back. "I don't believe we've been properly introduced. I'm Tony" he stated holding his hand out.

"Pleasure to meet you. If you're Tony, then I guess we hardly need an introduction. Maria's told me a bit about you already" you smirked shaking his hand.

"Has she?" You nodded with a smirk.

"Good things though. She said you're a real gentleman."

"I try to be, at least" he smiled.

Seeing him up close now, you couldn't help but take in all his details. His long brown eyelashes only embellished his blue doe eyes. Small brown freckles adorned his skin. His beard was grown out just enough to notice he had nice potential of beautifully growing it out to its full extent, but not long enough to hide the skin, dimples and freckles underneath it. He was a sight for sore eyes.

The attraction between you and Tony was undeniable. You invited him to sit with you at one of the fold-out tables to eat. The conversation flowed naturally as you savored your meal and watched the children play while the hours passed.  It might have been due to the fact that you had a bit in common like similar musical taste or interest in movies and books.

Not everything was in mutual interest and Tony liked that you were willing to debate and defend your beliefs. He admired that about you, that you stuck to your guns. He also liked that you didn't shy away from teasing and joking. It had felt like you'd known each other for years before. Like two old friends reunited after years apart, almost as if time had no effect. Tony had craved for that: the instant connection and not only attraction. He'd met plenty of girls before, but it had been a while since he felt a connection with someone. Due to the way his last relationship with his ex, Kristina, had ended, Tony hadn’t allowed himself to get too comfortable with girls. He had his flings and they stayed just that: flings with no emotional attachment. Until now. Until he met you. And his favorite thing about meeting you? How easily you made him forget about the world surrounding you both.

You two seemed to be inseparable the whole day until Daniel raced over to you, excitedly asking about the present you had promised. It was only then that you realized you forgot it in the car.

You made your way to the gate and left the backyard to walk out to your car. It had barely shut behind you when you heard it open back up. Turning around, you found Tony stepping out.

"Tony." You smiled curiously. "You forget something too?"

"Uh, no. Not exactly."

His lips curled into a smirk as he tenderly cradled the side of your neck. Guiding your lips to his, he pressed a sweet kiss. You could feel him smile into it as he relished the wet warmth of your lips slowly melting into his.

"I'm sorry. I probably should've asked first, but I've been dying to do that all day."

You could feel the blood rushing to your cheeks as you beamed up at him.

"N-no, don't apologize." You stuttered, still stunned at the very pleasant surprise. "I'm definitely not sorry about it at all."

"Neither am I really." He smirked and returned to the backyard with the widest grin on his face.

Juan was quick to notice the smile and seemed to read Tony’s mind when he walked back to continue his help, slicing and distributing the steaks, sausages and chicken wings.

“Oh, you went for it, didn’t you? Cabron! I knew you would. You’re a dog” Juan laughed, nudging his friend.

Soon after everyone had had a couple slices of the delicious chocolate cake, the party had come to its end and you offered to stay and help the small family clean up. Tony stuck around as well since you promised him a ride home, but he was more than quick to help out. So, you got ahold of a large garbage bag and went around the backyard, collecting the disposal plates, cups and forks that some guests had forgotten to throw out. Tony was further down the yard, helping Juan scrub the grill down.

Daniel sat up on the porch, opening his brand-new presents. You smiled as you watched his excited reaction to the new water gun you'd gotten him. It was more like a rifle and the size of it made the little boy even more eager to try it out. You were quick to offer to help him fill it up. Once it was full, his little legs quickly ran across the yard toward Tony and his father. His first victim was Juan. Tony was right after.

"Oh, no! Man down! Man down!" Tony exclaimed, holding the wet spot on his chest as he fell to one knee.

"Please, Danny. I thought we were friends. I let you have a cupcake before the cake." His voice was strained as if in pain.

You had to admit, Tony was a pretty good actor. The way he fell to his side when Daniel sprayed him again was pretty realistic. He played dead until Daniel was close enough. Suddenly shooting up, he grabbed the child careful enough to not hurt him and wrapped his arms around him. Daniel's laughs filled the air as he dropped the toy gun.

"Get his weapon, Cortez!"

Juan smirked and quickly picked it up to spray his son.

You chuckled as you watched the wholesome scene. Tony clearly had a way with kids due to his playful nature. It made you wonder if he would be the same with his own kids. It made you think about having your own kids and you wondered if that could happen with Tony, but it was far too early to even think about that.

"So, what do you think, chica?" Maria asked coming into the kitchen and snapping you out of your daze.

"Huh? Oh, sorry" you chuckled blushing. "About?"

"About Tony, duh!"

"He's uh definitely cuter than you described." You smirked, replying in the most modest way possible.

"I told you he was fine" she laughed. "You know he likes you too?"

"Does he?" You smiled thinking about the kiss.

"Yeah, but I think you knew that already."

Damn right, you did.

After saying goodbye to everyone, Maria handed you a couple of containers full of leftover food and cake. She'd always separate some for you to take home after get-togethers. It was her way of thanking you for all the help you gave them when they needed it.

“You sure you don’t mind that I’m kinda wet?” Tony asked slightly worried that he’d ruin your passenger seat as he fidgeted with the containers in his lap as you drove to his home.

“Don’t worry. This car has seen a lot worse” you chuckled. It wasn’t the fanciest car, but it served enough to get you from point A to point B.

“You got a pretty nice way with kids. You got any of your own?”

You wanted to be as subtle as possible about your curiosity in his past relationships and his opinion on having kids.

“I don’t, no. But who knows one day? I do have a sister though. Rini… She’s younger than me. Guess that’s how I got my way with ‘em.”

“Oh, that’s cool. I didn’t know you had a sister. She nice?”

“She’s great. Real sweetheart. I love her to death.”

“I take you’re very close?”

“Yeah. We try to be, at least. My folks aren’t exactly the Brady Bunch, so we try to be there for each other.”

The way he didn’t delve into too many details made you think it might have been a sensitive subject to touch on, at least for a first date. Despite being curious about his family history, you simply nodded and glanced at him with a smile.

“Family can be tough. Wouldn’t be family if they weren’t” you chuckled.

To diffuse the hidden discomfort, you reached out and turned on the radio. Skimming through the channels, he grinned when he caught the sound of one of his favorites, Hip Hop Hooray by Naughty By Nature.

“N-no, no, leave it there. This is a great song, one of my favorites.”

He quickly jumped into the middle of the first verse, rapping along to the song perfectly knowing every lyric by heart. You smiled widely listening to him before joining him in the chorus, waving a hand side to side to the beat of the song. He was surprised when you joined in on the second verse, proving you knew just as much as he did.

You sang along together the rest of the way. If there had been a worry in mind, neither of you could think about them now. It was a perfect ending the day you had. Neither of you wanted it to end just yet.

Pulling to the front of his humble townhouse, you parked and shut the car off.

“You know somethin’?” He started as he leaned back against the headrest, rolling his head over to gaze at you longingly. “I had a really great day, thanks to you. I was nervous when Juan said you’d be there today. I didn’t really know what to expect. But I’m really glad I met you.”

You smiled as you unconsciously mimicked his movement and leaned back into your seat.

“Don’t sweat it. I was nervous as shit too” you chuckled. “But I have no regrets. I had a great time too.”

“It doesn’t have to end if you don’t want it to.”

“You trying to say something, Tony?” you smirked.

“Maybe. I’m just saying” he shrugged with a sly smile. “Maybe you could come in and I dunno. Maybe have some wine with me.”

“I’m driving tonight though.”

“You could sleep it off at my place. Drive home in the morning.”

You wanted to say yes. You wanted nothing more than to mount him like a horse and ride him all night. You were eager to get laid at first. You hadn’t expected to really like Tony. The fear of coming off desperate must have been radiating off of you. You could’ve sworn he was reading your mind when he reached over to hold your hand as you began nervously picking at your nails.

“We don’t have to do anything if you don’t want to. I really mean that, sweetheart” he said with a soft comforting tone, looking down at your hands aa he thought about how perfectly they would fit together with his. “I just really like talking to you. And it’s been a long time since I’ve wanted to just talk, you know? You can crash on the couch if you want. I’ll keep my hands to myself.”

His concern for your sense of security was genuine. He wasn’t going to come onto you if you don’t want him to. It was everything you needed to hear to silence the doubt in your head.

“Yeah” you smiled from ear to ear. “I’d love some wine. And just you know, you don’t have to keep your hands to yourself.”

[bullet-clubs-bitch]

Cash Wheeler x reader where she is apart of the bang bang gang with her brothers and she is stuck in the middle when they fued with FTR between her husband and her brothers

Middle

Cash Wheeler X Fem reader

Summary: Y/n is the twin sister of Colten Gunn and wife of Cash Wheeler who finds herself in a tricky position when her brothets turn a friendly feud into a full blown war. The Gunns talk about how Cash is a lazy husband and how it's his fault how they are struggling to have children. What happens when Cash doesn't return home and Y/n finds out she is pregnant?

Mentions: of infertility, swearing, alcohol, arguing

(This has not been proof read)

Cash Wheeler Masterlist Main Masterlist

Currently I sat in the living room of the Harwood home in tears as Dax and his wife tried to confort me. In my hand heald two positive pregnancy tests. Normally this would have been a good thing, Cash and I wanted children but now was not the time. What started out as a friendly feud between The Bang Bang Gang and FTR turned into a war between my brothers and my husband.

"I don't know what to do!" I said as cried into the chest of Dax's wife Maria. "He won't even talk to me, I'm scared. I don't want to do this alone" I told the couple. "This is such bull shit. I don't understand why he is getting so upset about all this. You have nothing to do with this Y/n." Dax assured me. All of this started a few weeks ago when Austen and Colten started making comments about me being married to Cash. They would say how I deserved better and how he was not a man. They would bring up sentative topics I would share to them during the years of us being together. Austin and Colten always listned to me rant about Cash when he pissed me off. I told them this information in private. If I knew they were going to spill all of it in the future I wouldn't have mentioned it in the first place.

The final straw was when Colten called Cash a alcoholic with a bad temper. "My sister deserves someone who doesn't drink so much that their dick doesn't work. Maybe Jay should just give her the family she's always wanted" I found it pretty ironic that that comment would be made days before I found out I was pregnant. Cash didn't come home that night. When I returned to our hotel room all of his things were gone. I assumed he headed home early so when I returned to our home in North Carolina and saw his truck wasn't in the driveway I panicked. I called Cash dozens of time and was sent to voicemail on the first ring. I felt sick to my stomach, all of this made me physically ill. When I told Dax about all of this he was furious. He was kind enough to let me stay with him and his family while all of this played out. Dax too was being sent on voicemail on the first ring.

It was a bittersweet moment when I found out I was pregnant. Cash and I wanted children more than anything in the world. I pictured us together in our home, tears of joy as I heald that positive test. Not crying in the Harwood bathrrom alone with tears of sadness and fear.

***

Three days had passed since then and Dax was finally able to get a hold of Cash. I didn't say a word as Dax talked to him on the phone. "I'm just so mad at all of them, you heard what they said about me right? I was told I was a shitty husband and a lazy lover. How would you feel if someone told the whole world your dick doesn't work on live TV!" Cash explained. "You know Y/n has nothing to do with this right? She had no idea they were going to say those things. I really think you should speak to your wife. She really needs you right now Cash!" I tried my best to keep quiet but it was growing harder to do so. The tears were starting to fall as the cracks in my heart grew larger. "So are you going to be mad at her forever? Are you really wanting to throw five years together down the drain over a stupid comment?" Dax questioned. I was scared of what Cash would say. "Maybe? You know that's a sensitive topic for me man. I thought you would understand" I could hear the pain in Cash's voice and it killed me. I couldn't hold it anymore, I needed to talk to Cash. Dax handed me the phone and I broke. "I'm sorry Cash. Please forgive me, I need you. I'm scared Cash. I really need to talk to you in person!" I told him. Silence. "Can you just be a man and get your ass over hear. You are being a fucking coward. You should be here for your wife Cash. You doing this is just proving what the Gunns said to be true" Dax told him. More silence. "I'll be there in 20"

When Cash arrived at the Harwood home I almost didn't recognize him. This was not the man I married. This Cash was dark, he looked angry, he looked like he wanted to hurt someone. Without thinking I threw myself at him. Wrapping my arms around him as I cried into his chest. All Cash did was stand there stiff as a board. "Are you fucking kidding me!" Dax said. "What's so important that you need to talk to me in person" Cash said with a edge to his voice. "I can't believe you!" I spat at him. All of a sudden my sadness had turned into rage. "Why are you being all pissy? You weren't the one who was made a fool of on live TV!" Cash yelled. "Why are you still so mad about that! They apologized for god sakes! How was I supposed to know that they would say that?!" I yelled back. "Did you ever think about my feelings Y/n? How I feel? Did you ever think that maybe you are the problem and not me? Think about how much money we spent on IVF, I think you are the fucking problem!" I was in shock. I coudn't believe what I was hearing. "I fucking hate you!" I yelled as I grabbed my purse and left. Just as I was about to leave I reached into my purse and pulled out the positive pregancy tests. "Here you go Jack ass! I bet you feel real stupid right now. We are over!" I yelled as I threw the tests at him, slamming the door behind me.

"I can't fucking believe you, get out of my house" Dax spat.

[robinismywifee]

straight girl || e. williams

pairings ellie williams x fem!oc/reader

summary maria sends a straight girl with a boyfriend and ellie williams, a gay girl with a girlfriend, to go on a trip together but an unexpected storm traps them in a cabin. takes place in jackson, one bed trope? 19 y/o ellie, no spoilers, 3rd person pov, ellie has a crush on oc

warnings NSFW, fingering (r. receiving), scissoring?, pet names (babe, good girl), cheating, slight masturbation??

a/n be aware that aime is an oc and dont feel insecure or anything if she looks nothing like you, youre literally beautiful trust me, also you can always find my oneshots on my wattpad, also feel free to request stories 💕

wordcount 5.8k

ellie has always felt different towards aime. ever since she was 14, right when she first layed her eyes on her, she never took them off.

how she always walked around with a hudge smile on her face, her smile was so perfect, and her uneven white teeth only made it more perfect

when they first met, she had a soft pitch voice, and had soft features, making her face look so innocent and adorable, but as the years went on, her voice got deeper and more raspy, making her more captivating and euphonic, she still had softer features, but they almost shifted in a way to make her more elegant

along with her face and voice changing over the years, ellie noticed her body changed too, she grew more curves, her stomach always layed flat but her breasts were full, and from what you could see when she wore her laced tanktops she loved, they sat perfectly too..

something about her and her sandy blonde hair was just so alluring to ellie.

ellie wouldnt say she had a crush on her, the only time they would talk was during patrol, exchanging simple words and short sentences, or if they walked by, aime would make sure to smile at her and wave, but they never failed to make ellies mind freak out—

am i talking too much? is my hair okay? shit she looks so fucking hot. how do i make her laugh without making it seem like im trying too hard? what? did she just complement me? holy shit i think im gonna pass out. how can someone look so goddamn hot while doing literally anything?

—are typical things ellies mind would be yelling.

aime was well known around jackson, well known for being pretty, nice, happy, and hardworking

her looks never failed to amaze people, practically all the teenagers of jackson has asked her out, and she was really nice, if she knew your name and if you werent rude to her or other people (who dont deserve it), she would make sure to smile at you walking by, which is why anytime she saw ellie, she would give a warm smile, she also liked complimenting people, seeing there faces brighten up from a simple comment made her face brighten up, and all her compliments were always genuine, she would never lie and say she liked a shirt on someone if she didnt, which is also why she would compliment ellie, ellie was easy to compliment, she was so beautiful and nobody talked about her enough- plus ellies reaction everytime made aimes face yank a big smile, ellie would always get blushed cheeks and flustered

aime only ever did hard and dangerous work, she did patrols a lot, keeping the bad away from her people, and she was talented on trips, if for any reason she got kicked out of jackson, she would survive. she had great agility, knowledge, it wasnt her thing but she knew how to track and hunt, she scavenged better then others, she wasnt the strongest, but she definitely knew how to win a fight, usuing her smaller size to her advantage. she was smart, and she was genuinely a happy person.

"i know aime is like, really good with trips, ive gone on them with her before, but just the two of us? i mean seriously?" ellie complained to dina, "i don't get why your angry, shes a nice girl and shes a good person to go on a trip with" dina shurgged, dina and aime were actually good friends, not close per say, but they hung out when they could, if aime didnt constantly drown herself in work she would have more time for friends and dina, but for the past two months it was either work or daniel

ellie stayed silence at dinas remark, so dina continued, "you know.. before her and daniel started dating, you liked her, always coming home from those patrols ranting to me about how she complimented you and was super hot as she killed an infected, but now that shes dating him you hate her? why?"

this caused ellie to stop packing her bag and look up to dina, "dina, her dating some random guy i dont know has nothing to do with this! i just dont want to go on a whole ass trip alone with her, its gonna be awkward!" ellie defended, but they both knew that wasnt why ellie was so mad, "the trip youve known about for 2 days? really? thats weird, considering you've been mad and annoyed at her for the past 2 months"

"its just- you and her use to go on those 'friend dates' or whatever you weirdos call it, like every month, and now that she has a boyfriend she cant make room for you? or any other of her friends? like, if you walk by her, shes with her stupid boyfriend, holding hands and giggling like, what can he say to make you laugh like that? probably some stupid joke that isnt even funny, i dont even get why she likes him, hes ugly with his ugly hair and he's completely useless, he does nothing and he probably isnt even dating her for her!" ellie ranted, throwing things into her bag for the trip

dina laughed.

ellies head shot up to her, "what? why are you laughing? you asked!" ellie said frustrated, "you're totally jealous, arent you?" dina smirked, "what? jealous? dina shut up! you know im dating cat!" ellie said, growing more and more frustrated by the minute

"okay yeah, but you have liked aime for wayyyy longer then cat" dina remarked, "i dont like aime! i just think shes hot, and literally everyone else with eyes thinks that so shut it" ellie groaned, zipping her bag and running out of her door, dina laughed some more, "wait up!" she said through her laughs

-

the sound of the horses feet clacking on the ground filled the empty forest.

"so howd you sleep?" aime asked, trying to spark a conversation. they had just left, and it was awkward between the two. ellie had been avoiding aime- for the past 2 months- changing patrol partners and running behind corners when she saw her to prevent that spark she felt in her stomach when she smiled at her

"fine" ellie mumbled, "oh, well, better then bad" aime remarked, "mhm" ellie hummed dryly, they rode their horses side by side in silence for a little, "i havent spoken to you in awhile, how's your life been?" aime asked, looking over to the girl, "the same" ellie said, looking down at the horses mane, aime looked away from ellie, down to her horses mane, trying to think of ways to get her ranting like how she use to to her

"can you tell me more about astronomy?" aime asked, thinking back to how she told her about it a few months ago, "uh.. why?" ellie said blankly, "sorry.. just thought you liked that stuff, and its fun to talk about stuff you like, you know?" aime explained, cheeks red embarrassed

aime was confused of why ellie was acting so different from usual, usually ellie would be cracking jokes and puns, telling funny stories, ranting about things she liked.. and ellie did seem to disappear for awhile, did she do something wrong? i mean, ellie wasnt even looking at her, it wasnt weird for ellie to avoid eye contact, she actually did that alot, but she wouldnt even glance in her direction.

while aime was trying to figure it out, ellies mind kept on repeating over and over and over again, aime and daniel stupid kissing and 'i love yous' right before they left.

"hey ellie" aime said, first time speaking in at least 2 hours, "hm?" ellie hummed, "did i do something wrong? because im really sorry if i did, but could you tell what it is that i did? i would never do anything wrong to hurt you on purpose, ever, in my whole life, and i sorta just spent however long we've been out trying to figure it out and i cant" aime ranted, which was sorta out of charater for aime, and aime apologizing for something that isnt her fault made ellie finally look over at her with sad eyes

it wasnt aimes fault that she felt like this, it was her own fault for letting something so small get to her, and she just wasted hours of aimes time for her to try and figure it out. thats what ellie though, and it made her feel like shit.

aime was suprised ellie was looking at her, and confused of ellies emotion displayed on her face- it looked like guilt.

"you didn't do anything aime, dont be sorry, im just tired" ellie said to her, hoping aime would believe she was just tired, but aime didnt believe that it was that, somethings going on

-

"hey, theres the cabin tommy was talking about, like a few miles up ahead, should we take a rest and eat there?" aime asked ellie, looking down at the map unfolded out infront of her while still riding the horse

"yeah, its getting dark" ellie agreed with her, looking up at the clouded sky, it was pretty sunny yesterday, this morning it was partly cloudy, and now all you could see were clouds, aime didnt think too much about it since last she checked they were bright white ones, but as she watched ellie looking up at the sky she did too, now noticing the clouds turning grey

"you think it will start raining before we get there?" aime asked, folding the map away and sliding it in her pocket, "i dunno.. im more worried about how long its gonna last, if you look more east the clouds are really dark, it might be a bad storm and we would have to wait it out" ellie explained her thoughts

"true.. but atleast we're gonna have shelter, could you imagine how bad it would be if we weren't by the cabin?" aime smiled, trying to brighten ellies mood, "yea, that would suck" ellie scoffed, aime, smiled a little bit more, happy that ellie gave more emotion instead of blankly humming as a response

"so the cabins just east?" ellie asked, looking over at aime for an answer, aime still smiling, now smiling because ellie was actually looking at her, maybe she was just tired.

"yeah, no sharp turns or anything i dont think, as long as we keep going straight it'll come into view" aime nodded, "perfect.. straight towards the storm" ellie mumbled, "it probably wont be that bad, ellie" aime tried to reason, but ellie was caught off guard by aime using her name

"y- yeah.." she stuttered

-

ellie and aime pushed the bookshelf infront of the front door of the cabin, their clothes dripping wet, the thunderstorm whistling and lighting jumping, the sound of rain dropplets slamming against the windows

"shit" ellie panted, "its way worse then i thought it'd be" she said, catching her breath, "yea.. its pretty bad" aime agreed, also out of breath, the rain had started about half a mile before they got to the cabin, and when it was in view it started pouring, then it get even worse with hard rain and loud thunder, they had to run and tie up their horsed in a shed, and run into the cabin as fast as they could to prevent getting even more wet, but here they stood, soaked

ellie looked at amie confused, "what? do i look bad with wet hair?" aime asked, pushing the hair that stuck to her face behind her ears, suddenly feeling insecure under ellies gaze

"bad? no you can never look bad, i just didnt exepct you to agree on me with that instead of trying to convince me happy things" ellie explained to the girl, aime smiled at ellies compliment, which ellie didnt even realize she gave

ellie turned her head to look around the cabin, she immediately spotted a mirror, she walked over to it, taking out her tangled bun, pushing her hair behind her ears and started messing with her bangs

aime watched her doing it, if i was a guy id have the biggest crush on her, aime though, walking over to her, standing shoulder to shoulder, ellie stopped fiddling with her hair and started fiddling with her hands looking down

"you're really pretty ellie, cats lucky to date you" aime smiled looking to her, ellies head stayed down, but aime noticed a blush creep onto ellies face

ellie felt like she could collapse at her calling her pretty and using her name, but the though of cat made guilt consume her. how can she date someone but think about anyother person way more? or how can she get crazy butterflies in her stomach when some random girl calls her pretty but doesnt really feel anything when her own girlfriend does?

ellie did like cat, she did, but ellie was starting to think she didnt really like her. she was fun to be around and she made her smile, she also liked how cat didnt care what others thought of their relationship, but everytime her and cat would go by aime, ellie would always pull away from cat, untangling her hands from her, putting them in her pocket or pretending to scrach her arm until aime was out of view.

"did you bring any extra clothes?" aimes voice snapped ellies thoughts away, "uh.." ellie looked up at her, "i dont think i have any pants since they would fit in my bag but everything else yea" ellie thought, "i think i only have a tanktop and boxer breifs" aime mumbled, taking her bag off her shoulders and turning around-

she was too focused on watching ellie she didnt even have time to look around, and ellie was too focused on making herself look presentable to look around

ellie turned around too, the cabin was really small, they already knew that from the outside but it seemed smaller on the inside

there was one big bed, queen size maybe, a small kitchen and a two person dinner table, a big carpet, and a fireplace, there was also a door by the kicthen, probably the bathroom

okay, good, theres a comfy bed for us, aime thought, before walking over to the kicthen, setting her bag on the counter before opening ir and pulling out her clothes. she didnt mind sharing a bed at all, she shared beds with whe friends all the time, even with twin sized ones, it wasnt weird

ellie stood there with widened eyes, the thought of sharing a bed with her made her feel warm, but she shook her head and walked by aime, setting her bag down next to her and looking for her clothes

while ellie was trying to find her socks, she saw in the corner of her eye, aime slipping off her jacket, which was whatever, but then she pulled off her shirt and reached for the buttons of her pants, ellies face went red, she tried to focuse herself on finding the socks in her bag, but her peripheral vision wasn't allowing it, so she mindlessly shuffled through her bag making it seem like she didnt notice

but aime knew ellie noticed her changing, aime watched her face go pink as she slipped off her pants, she smiled to herself, shes so cute, if i was a guy i'd have the biggest crush on her, aime thought to herself

"you finding your clothes okay?" aime teased, ellie felt her face get even hotter, shit shes so hot- "u- uh, yea, just fine" ellie stuttered, moving her back so aime wasnt in her peripheral vision anymore so she could actually focus on finding them

aime got completely nude, as the rain had soaked through her clothes and her underwear and bra were soaked, slipping on white boxer breifs and a white V cut tanktop, her bag was really full and these were the only clothes she could fit as they were thin and tiny

aime walked over to the fireplace, sitting infront of it. once ellie had her clothes layed out, on the counter, she peeked her head thinking aime was still behind her, but she wasnt, so ellie looked over her other shoulder to see her on her knees trying to started a fire, ellie watched as her damp hair dripped down her back, going through her thin white too and down to her shorts, ellie couldnt help but stare at her ass.

aime felt eyes on her, she peeked her head over her shoulder to see ellie immediately moving her head away from her, aime smilied to herseld before going back to the fire

ellie turned her back to face aime, before getting undressed, placing her heavy wet clothes next to aimes, as ellie got changed, she stared at aimes light pink laced bra that layed on the counter, she started to get butterflies as she pictured what aime would look like in it, she shook her head feeling grossed out by herself and turned around now clothed

aime heard ellie walk over to the now lit fire, she moved her head to look up at ellie, aime didnt know it but her face went a shade of pink seeing ellie in a thick strapped white tanktop, it was tight but long, covering half her underwear- her underwear being greyish purple and sort of boxer breifs like aimes exepct hers were a lot shorter.

as ellie sat down next to aime, aime pulled out two cans of chef boyardiee ravioli, she passed ellie a can along with plastic forks, the only noises being heard was the fire crackling and the heavy rain- followed by thunder almost every minute

"so how are you and cat?" aime asked, eating the now warmed ravioli, ellie stayed quiet for a minute, "we're good" ellie shortly replied, aime nodded, "i really like the tattoo she gave you, you look super good with it" aime smiled, making eye contact with her

ellie got red from that (again) "so.. uhm.. how are you and daniel" ellie asked, trying to return the question, but her voice came out bitter, aime didnt realize ellies tone, now stuck in thought if her boyfriend she didnt like, aime shrugged, "i dont know"

ellies eyebrows scrunched, "what do you mean you dont know?" she asked her, watching aime as she stared into the fire, trying to stop her eyes from going down to her cleavage, "uh, its nothing, i do like him but hes just very needy and- touchy" aime tried to explain without outting herself for not liking him at all

"how so?" ellie asked, now invested, she thought they had the perfect relationship, "he basically moved in with me without asking, he complains that i work too much, and like.. he always tries to get me to do it with him, but i don't want to yet" aime said, she whished she wanted to, but everytime he would touch her she just would squirm away and would feel gross

ellie was dumbfounded, "wait? you guys havent done it yet?" she really thought they did it like every night, aime shook her head, "have you and cat?" aime asked, placing the empty can to the side, "maybe" ellie simply replied, aime nodded, "i figured" she said, taking a sip of water

"whats that supposed to mean?" ellie asked, "like every couple of jackson does it im the only one" she shrugged, ellie sipped water, "well, you and kaleb definitely did it" ellie almost mumbled, "what? no we didnt?" aime asked confused, kaleb was her ex boyfriend, they were together for about a year and half, before she found out kaleb had been cheating on her for almost a year.

"uh, you guys were together for over a year" ellie said, confused, "yea, i know, thats why he started doing it with other girls behind my back" aime replied, "he what?" ellie raised her voicd, growing angry at him, even though it was years ago when they broke up, the reason the broke up kaleb and amie told people they both just lost feelings

"oh shit- i didnt mean to say that, ellie please dont tell anyone, please-"

"i wont, but what the fuck?" ellie questioned, "next time i see him hes gonna kiss my fist" ellie said angry, "ellie! its not a big deal and it was years ago, who cares?" aime asked confused of why ellie randomly got mad

"who cares? you dont date someone and go fuck other people because they werent ready for it!"

"no, trust me ellie, its fine, i didnt even really care when i found out, i didnt really like him" aime shrugged, "huh? whyd you date him?" ellie asked, "i- im done talking about this" aime said, unsure of how to reply

they were silent for a few minutes, just staring into the fire- well aime was, and she thought ellie was too, but ellie was staring at her

ellies eyes trailed from aimes eyes, to her nose, to her soft plumpled lips, to her slightly wet neck, almost dry from the rain, to her full chest, to her damp white shirt, her shirt was damp enough that you could see her shape and her nipples from her not wearing a bra, ellies eyes trailed even ferther to aimes bottoms, flickering back to her breasts. her mouth began to water, she thought about what her lips would taste like, what her skin would taste like, how perfectcly her hands would cup her breasts, how her pussy would taste- ellie tried to stop her thoughts but shes been holding them back for too long now, and they kept pouring into her head, ellie wondered what her face would look like, what noises would come out, she thought about her screaming her named-

ellie felt herself grow wet, she couldnt stop it, "im gonna go to the bathroom" ellie mumbled, standing up and walking to the door in the kitchen, she entered the bathroom, it was small, just a toilet, a sink, and a standing shower

ellie locked the door and sat on the toilet cover, she felt butterflies in her stomach, thinking of how aime would look riding her, how her wavy hair would drape over her naked body, ellie pressed her theighs together, "shit" she whispered, allowing her hand to go to her underwear.

"hey" aime smiled, ellie was bright red, i cant believe i just fucking did that, ellie thought to herself, slapping herself in her mind for doing that to not only cat but to aime

"hi" ellie said, standing up looking down at aime who still sat on the ground, "we should probably get to bed?" aime questioned, ellie looked back at the bed, shit i forgot theres only one bed, "uh- yea, probably" ellie nodded, "you okay?" aime asked, "yeah why?" ellie quickly said back, "you just seem, flustered? i don't really know"

aime put out the fire, the moonlight lighting the cabin, and held out her hand for ellie to help pull her up, which ellie did, once aime was up, she didnt let go of ellies hand, she smiled looking up at her, "can i ask a personal question?" aime randomly asked, still holding ellies hand, "uh, sure?" ellie said confused, "how many people have you.. done it with?" aime asked, hoping it wasn't too weird, but they were both 19 so aime wanted to compare their numbers.

"only cat" ellie answered, aime nodded, looked down to her feet, "how many have you?" ellie asked, "uh.." aime hummed, "im not like- gonna judge you or anything" ellie tried to comfort her, which it worked, "none" aime mumbled, "none?" ellie asked, making sure she heard it right, aime nodded, "oh" ellie said, which caused aime to look up at her, "i didnt mean that to sound like i was judging or- something- i meant oh as in just like that i was suprised" ellie corrected

aime laughed, "its okay, you can judge, ive had three boyfriends, im 19, and still a virgin"

"three?" ellie asked confused, she only knew of two, "oh, yeah, it was before you came to jackson" she shortly explained, "who? do i know them?" ellie asked, "uh.. lucas, but it was only like for 4 months and we were 13 so it doesnt actually really count" aime explained, which caused ellie to laugh

"well why havent you?" ellie questioned, "just dont want to, anytime the touch me i feel gross" aime shrugged like it was normal, "uh.. okay?" ellie said confused, "and if im being honest.. dicks are disgusting" aime whispered, which caused ellie to laugh again, "what? first of all, ive never heard a straight girl say that, second of all, did you just swear?!"

aime laughed, "oh shut up! everybody thinks theyre gross they just dont say it!" aime dragged ellie behind her as she made her way to the bed, ellie giggled as she crawled into the bed with her

"i should of brought a blanket" aime mumbled, the bed only has a sheet and two pillows, the blanket was nowhere to be seen

"yeah? how would you have brought that" ellie questioned, "uhh.. i would of figured it out!" aime said with a smile, they were both of their sides facing eachother, "yeah right" ellie laughed

ellie kept on flickering her eyes to how pretty her body looked, she needed to stop she moved and layed on her back

it was silent for awhile, ellie thought aime went to sleep and aime didnt know if ellie was awake or not, "ellie?" aime whispered, the rain still pouring, ellie turned her head and looked at aime, suprised she was awake, "yeah?" ellie asked, "im cold" aime said, her hands on her arms trying to warm herself up, ellie looked down at her and noticed her nipples poking through from being cold- "uh.. me too" ellie said, unsure of how to respond to that

"can we.. you know.." aime tried to say without saying it, "huh?" ellie asked clueless, "uh, i dont mean to sound weird or anything, i only mean it platonically but.." aime said nervously, ellie finally realized what she was getting at

ellie opened her arms up motioning for her to go there, aime smiled at the girl, and scooted till she was presseda against ellies said, she then rested her cheek against ellies chest, wrapped an arm around her waist, ellie closed her arms around her, hugging her gently

they layed in silence for a few minutes, aime warmed up a bit but her legs were cold, so she lifted her knee and placed it between ellies legs, ellie almost instinctively brought her hand to aimes leg, just above her knee, and pulled it up more so that her knee was only a few inches away from her heat, aime moved her hips to try and get closer to ellie, but since they were already touching ellie, and since aime's hips were in between ellies theigh, it only made aime's core brush against it, unexpected butterflies swormed aime but not in her stomach, and it felt good.

she sat in silence, her mind repeating how she felt when she moved her hips from a few minutes ago, she opened her eyes and looked up at ellie, but ellies eyes were closed and seemingly asleep. so aime pressed herself to ellie theigh, and moved her hips up, she let out a shakey breath, suddenly turned fully on- this is the first time she was every turned on with someone else in the room.

aime's eyes looked to ellies body, before she sunk her hips back down slowly, causing her to let out another breath as her clit rubbed against ellies skin, slightly gripping onto ellies fabric

she stopped herself, what the fuck am i doing? im straight, i have a boyfriend, and ellie had a girlfriend. what the fuck is wrong with me? i guess since daniels always in the house i never have time to touch myself so now that hes gone i wanna? she tried to reason

"whyd you stop?" ellies voice achoed the room as aime froze- "hm?" aime hummed, "you know what i said" ellie smirked looking down at the girl, but the girl had her eyes closed hoping she was dreaming completely embarassed, "stop what?" aime asked trying to sound confused, "don't play dumb" ellie said, moving her hand from aimes leg to her chin, she pulled her chin to look at her, aime looked anywhere but her eyes

"look at me" ellie ordered, aime scooted herself up more, hovering over ellie face to finally look at her in the eyes, they didnt speak anything, the sexual tension was so thick you could cut it with scissors

aime couldnt help herself, she was so turned on by ellie, her body, her face, and her voice, she without any thoughts slammed her lips into ellies, ellie immediately kissed back, putting all the anger she had for herself and for daniel into the kiss, ellie had her hands onto ellies waist, and aime just did what felt right, aime had one leg outside of ellies, the other in between ellies two, her hands holding ellies face

ellie leaned herself up, moving her hands more towards aimes hips, pushing them to help her move agianst them like how she was doing eairler, aime let out a moan through the kiss, which made ellie melt

aime started grinding her hips more to ellies theigh, "do you want me?" ellie grunted, aime only hummed in response, "i need words" ellie said, making lovebites on her jaw, "mh- i- i want you ellie" she moaned, she never felt this good in her life, she felt like she was in heaven, "good girl" ellie whispered

ellie gripped aimes hips, causing them to stop, she brought her lips back to aimes lips, kissing her with tongue, aime tried to move her hips but ellie was stronger then her and she couldnt

aime brought her hand to herself, trying to rub herself but ellie pulled away and gripped her wrist, "did i say you could?"

"n- no" aime whined, ellie licked her lips before she brought her face to aimes cleavge, she kissed it a few times before she pulled away, pulling aimes shirt over her head, ellie felt herself grow even wetter at the sigh, she stared in awe for a moment, before she started to taste her skin and message her boobs

"ellie- please" aime moaned wanting more, as much ellie wanted to tease aime more, she was teasing herself, ellie pulled away, looking at the marks she just created,

ellie grabbed aimes hips and lifted her up, before pulling her leg up too, and pushing her to sit back down on her so now she was straddling her instead of being in between her legs

ellie then brought her middle and ring finger to her clothed slit, rubbing her slowly, watching as she squirmed, she could feel her wetness seeping through the fabric, "youre so wet" ellie grunted, she moved her hand and pulled the waistband of aimes boxers, she sunk her hand into them, letting her wet lips come in contact with the pads of her fingers, "is this all for me babe?" ellie moaned, "only you" aime moaned

ellie began to drag her two fingers up and down her slit, as they slopply kissed, "i need you in me ellie" aime moaned, those words alone made ellie moan, so she sunk her fingers deep inside of her, aime bit her lip muffling her moan, "let me hear you" ellie moaned, jamming her fingers even deeper then before, aime let her jaw hang as she moaned, and began to grind her hips onto ellies fingers, "you look so pretty on me" ellie whispered as she began to pick up her paste

"tell me how good it feels" ellie moaned, starting to curl her fingers, "mmpfh- it- it feels so good ellie!" aime whinned, "good girl" ellie whimpered, "i- im gonna" aime tried to make out a sentance, but she cut herself off with whine, her stomach tightened, she arched her back onto ellies fingers, but ellie kept on pumping, overstimulating her as she dripped onto her fingers

"you did such a good job" ellie complimented, pulling her fingers out, aime didnt know what was to happen next, but ellie shoved her two fingers into aimes mouth, watching as aime complied, sucking on her fingers and twirling her tongue around them

"good girl" ellie whispered, she pulled her fingers out of her mouth, ellie pulled aime and turned her around so now aime was on bottom, ellie pulled off her underwear and pulled off aimes

she pressed her lips to hers, making out with eachother there tongues tangling. ellie then moved so that her left leg was under aimes, and that her right leg was over her others, pressing their clits together, aime let out a whine as ellie started to grind, there slits grinding against eachother

as aime gripped onto ellies leg, she leaned her head back and let out a whine, "fuck- ellie" she moaned, moving her hips grinding along with her, "daniel could never make you feel like this, huh?" ellie groaned, "no, only you can ellie" aime moaned, bringing her hand to ellies tanktop, lifting it up she could see her body

"thats it- good girl" ellie moaned, aime felt as if her ears had been blessed with the sound of her moaning, she wanted to get more of her noises out, aime brought her hand to her boobs, squeezing them and messaging them, "ugh- fuck- you're so hot" she moaned, leaning her head back grinding harder, "im gonna cum ellie" aime was able to pant

ellie felt her stomach tighten at her words, she rolled her hips once more before her and aimes moans were combained, ellie leaned onto aime with their chests pressed together, ellies head in the crook of her neck, both panting together.

[my-owl-sub]

☆Not me but her ☆

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Chapter Seven; All I really want is you

Song; All I really want is you by The Maria's

M.list

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☆☆◇◇☆☆◇◇☆☆◇◇☆☆◇◇☆☆◇◇☆☆◇◇☆☆◇◇

Akaashi felt bad for keeping you away, but at the same time, he would rather have you spend time with him. Alone.

He noticed how tired you were, so he insisted that you rest. But you deny his request and help him with the mess on the stage.

"It sucks. Anyone burley uses this stage," you sigh, knowing that the other theater was better, but bringing this one to life would be amazing.

"Yea, I guess they prefer new pretty things," he mentioned. It cause you to mumble things under your breath.

"We're almost finish, which is good," he hummed at your words, moving things out of the stage.

You've gotten permission from the director to remove and clean the place up. It was going to be a classroom, but you needed to change his mind about that.

This stage is much wider than the other one, and it was perfect for performing.

"Hey, i wanted to ask you something." You looked at him, waiting for him to spit out his question.

"I know I don't know much about you, but are you and Atsumu a...thing?" You wanted to laugh but kept a straight face.

"No, he's just werid... he's nice at the same time, but I don't see myself dating him," you confirm.

"Why? Did he say something stupid?" You imagine him saying something werid, about you being his future wife or whatever.

"No, it just maybe the way he acts." You couldn't help it anymore. You laughed, he noticed it, and he admired it.

"I've told him many times, I wasn't interested, but he keeps coming back," you sigh, with a soft smile at your face.

He had never seen you in such aura. Seeing you smile was like seeing a goddess in his eyes.

He can tell why Atsumu was so devoted to you. Willing to do anything for you? Keiji would not have thought about it.

Akashi chuckled at your comment. "It must be a pain," he said, you agreed.

"How did you and Juno meet?" You were curious not in a bad way, just general wanting to know.

"Well, we had a class together for almost all year of high school...and she confessed her feelings towards me, I felt the same way" you nodded, it wasn't full detail but it was something.

"You guys make a cute couple." You gave a soft smile. He didn't agree with you deep inside.

He thought you guys would make a good couple. He wanted you.

"Yes, we do." he smiled, and you held the bag as he picked up the last bit of trash left on the stage.

"And we are done, now we have to mop" you sigh at his words. He notice and smiled.

"Wanna get a smoothie first?" You nodded at his question.

"I need one, after all this hard wor-" you tripped on your own feet, Akaashi caught you but stumbled on the floor.

Holding you close as this happened. He groans from his bottom, hitting the ground.

You landed on his chest, and his legs were open, making sure they wouldn't hit you.

You both stayed there, a few moments until you realized what happened before getting up on your feet.

He wanted it longer. He didn't know what happened to himself, but he grabbed your wrist, pulling you back down.

You freaked out at the action he made. "Stay" is all he said. Your heart raced from this.

"Uh- no...no, sorry no!" You pushed yourself away from him. You looked at him with shocked, he looked surprised.

Akaashi couldn't bring himself to speak up on his behavior. At least you didn't give him a chance, too.

You got up, quicking getting your things. Was it right? You weren't thinking at the time.

The only thing running through your head was 'he has a girlfriend'.

Leaving Akaashi alone with his thoughts. He messed up big time. He groaned. He hoped you wouldn't tell Juno about it.

"Fuck, Keiji, fuck" he mumble to himself.

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𝕰𝖝𝖙𝖗𝖆;

Y/n didn't want to hurt Juno by what happened so she didn't tell.

Akaashi deeply didn't regret it, but at the same time, he felt like he lost something.

Hinata likes it when she plays volleyball with him

Once Y/n met Kageyama, it was both awkward but he complemented her, for her spikes.

Kuroo has known his sister since birth (duh), and he can easily read her actions and face

Y/n knows Kuroo cares deep down and will get a response answer from her one way or another.

𝕹𝖔𝖙𝖊;

Sorry it took so long to upload, I've been busy.

Take care

-V

Taglist;

@staygoldsquatchling02 @h3xi2g0n3 @aquariarose @strxwberri-s @spunky-monkeyz @meme-ko @madiexuberant @sereniteav @bows4life

[darkmasterofcupcakes]

I think Abel at least always knew that Adam named Vaggie.

Do you use my suggestion that Abel usually call her Maria? If yes, there's serious potential for wholesome because he does that explicitly because he know Vaggie is a name that draw a decent number of mockery, and this help set up why Abel accept her as his sister when the reveal is done.

Though I'm pretty sure Abel and Seth definitely confronted not only their parents but Lute and Sera , because that should have been revealed to them earlier and not by Cain.

The way you describe Cain make me wonder, did he felt awful about how he revealed the connection? Because I can visualize teenage Vaggie crying before storming out of the party, and considering that Cain had known her since she was a baby, the characterization of CWF Human Cain make me think he likely felt awful once he realize he shattered the world of his teenage half-sister, especially since there's no ways Cain wouldn't have asked his mother on the matter, so by the point of the birthday party, even if he doesn't like this fact, he definitely would have known for a few years at least that his mother had no intentions to return with his father even before Adam and Lute first slept together.

He definitely did know that Adam named her. He couldn't help but ask about her name, because it was rather...unique, and was just told that Lute let Adam pick her name to thank him for helping her out when she first got pregnant, both by letting her stay with him for a while, and then convincing Sera to both find her a job and let her live with her until Lute could get a place of her own.

The truth is that what Abel calls her - Maria - was actually what Lute planned to make the baby's first name, once she came to the realization that she really wanted to keep and raise the baby for herself. But when Adam showed up at the hospital and pointed out that the staff wouldn't even let him into the NICU to see their daughter, much less hold her, because Lute refused to name him as the father on the birth certificate, she allowed Adam to choose the baby's name, and she'd make Maria the middle name instead.

Of course, when she saw what he put for the name, she immediately made it clear that she wasn't pronouncing it the way she knew Adam intended - but Adam was fine with that as long as she didn't take back the promise to let him chose the name. And that's how Vaggie got her name in this version of events.

Abel and Seth absolutely confront basically all the adults who actively covered up the truth once they knew. Seth partly does so on Vaggie's behalf, because due to them being so close growing up, he was pretty much always aware of how much it kind of bothered her that she just....didn't have a dad at all.

In this AU, Cain does feel pretty awful for how he revealed the truth to Vaggie, even if he tries his best to downplay how bad he feels about it. He is still kind of an asshole in general, but even he feels bad when he sees just how much him just blurting out to everyone the fact that Adam was her father - and so many of the adults they were closest to knew and just never told them - pretty much completely shattered Vaggie's whole life. Especially when he found out about her effectively becoming a bit of a runaway, refusing to go home for a while and trying to avoid Lute as much as she could.