#they made a song about this deep and meaningful and heartbreaking relationship. and in the video they show that through THEIR relationship

[gremlin-pattie]

fob was insane for writing a song about missing a relationship you can never return to, and then having the music video end with patrick and pete killing each other.

this is a half baked thought, but it’s something about the person you trusted most turning on you. it’s about wishing you could get back the love you used to share with them, but you can’t because you’re both too far gone.

*(more in the tags)

[bloodylullaby]

Dont know if you take blurb requests but I wanted to ask for one (no pressure❤)

What about, something like the reader and Noah being together for a couple months and she thinks that he's gonna leave her for whatever reason but Noah 'reassures' her so she can keep calm.

Idk if you like this but do what you please with it❤

Okay, I got overly excited and a little nervous writing this, but I hope this is what you were semi-looking for. If not, I will do it again without hesitation! :) :)

I may or may not have read other blurbs to make sure I was doing this right.

Song

Masterlist

Three glorious months—seemingly a blink in the vast of time, yet profoundly meaningful in the journey you and Noah have navigated. It marks the peak of three years of friendship, a journey paved with shared laughter, countless conversations, and moments of unspoken understanding. Finally reaching the finish line, you both have embarked on a new chapter, intertwining your lives in a bond strengthened by trust, mutual admiration, and a deep-rooted connection. Every day shows the lasting beauty of your relationship and the profound impact of love, which thrives and grows with each passing moment.

Things seemed like they couldn't get more perfect until your first big fight. You posted a picture of you and Noah cuddling up in his bed, and he freaked out a little. He was one for complete privacy regarding the internet, but you wanted to shout your relationship to the world. It was hard for you to understand why he didn’t want pictures of you two posted, and it was even more challenging for you not to take it as personally as you did. You have been holed up in your room blasting "Lover Dearest '' by Marianas Trench for an intense hour, screaming and crying the lyrics to yourself.

You felt like he was going to break up with you sometime in the near future, and it was getting harder and harder for you not to freak out about it. This caused you to slightly distance yourself from him, which wasn’t hard due to him working in the studio a lot lately. Everything seemed reduced to slower texts, fewer calls, and limited visits for several weeks. You knew it was because once Noah had a creative flow, he couldn’t be slowed down, but emotionally, it felt like he was avoiding you because he didn't want you around anymore.

There was a knock on your door, so you slowly got up to answer it. On the other side was Noah, who had a bouquet of your favorite flowers and a big smile on his face. His expression slightly faltered when he saw your tear-streaked face. Confusion crossed his features when he heard the song you were playing. 

“Why are you listening to your break-up song?” He asked. That just pushed you over the edge and made your tears fall again. He grabbed your face with his free hand, wiping away the tears. “Hey…shhhh, it’s okay, baby. What’s going on?” he asked, concern laced in his voice.

“Are you going to break up with me?” You asked through sniffles and hiccups. Avoiding eye contact, you couldn't bear to see his face, knowing it would only deepen your heartbreak.

Seeing the anguish in your eyes, Noah's expression softened with understanding. After setting down the flowers, he gently cupped your face with both hands, coaxing you to look at him. 

"Hey, no, no, baby, I'm not going to break up with you," he reassured you, his voice filled with sincerity. "I love you, okay? I'm here for you."

Feeling relieved, you finally meet his gaze, tears still glistening. With a shaky breath, you leaned into his embrace, comforting yourself with his reassuring presence. Noah held you close, his arms wrapping around you protectively as you let yourself release the pent-up emotions weighing on you. Looking up at him, you both get swept up in the feelings, and he kisses you. At first, it starts slow and gentle, a way for him to show you that he understands your feelings and will be there to take the pain away. Then it starts to turn hungry, showing you his passion for you and that he isn’t going anywhere.

Leading him to your room, you lay on your bed as he climbs over you. The air is thick with anticipation and desire as he leans in to kiss you, his lips tender and warm against yours. As the kiss deepens, you feel a surge of emotion wash over you, the intensity of your connection palpable in every touch.

For the next hour, Noah worships you and every inch of your body, his lips and hands moving with purpose and passion. Each caress declares his love and commitment, reassuring you that he isn't going anywhere. In his embrace, you feel safe and cherished, the worries and doubts of earlier fading into the background as you lose yourself in the moment. Time seems to stand still as you revel in the intimacy and closeness you share, knowing that together, you can weather any storm that comes your way.

[manari-archives]

emails i can't send | CS55

It's times like these, wish I had a time machine So I could see what you did October 13th You wanna discuss, ugh, you disgust me Don't say sorry now

pairing : Carlos Sainz x Reader

warning: Cheating

word count: 1.3 k

note: this isn't based on the entire song, just a couple of lines of the song. i dont really like how this turned out and also it was really difficult to write about this song cause its so personal and heartbreaking. also english isn't my first language so any corrections feel free to let me know and any feedback is welcome :)

masterlist

It was a sunny day at the racetrack, where the screeching sounds of tires and the smell of burning rubber filled the air. Among the skilled drivers was Carlos Sainz Jr., a talented Formula One racer known for his speed and precision. The atmosphere was electrifying as fans cheered for their favourite drivers, and amidst it all, there was you.

You had met Carlos during a racing event, where you were instantly captivated by his charm and passion for the sport. Your shared love for adrenaline and adventure brought you closer, and over time, a deep and meaningful connection formed between you.

As your relationship with Carlos blossomed, you believed you had found your soulmate. The two of you shared laughter, dreams, and countless memories. However, as the days turned into weeks, a seed of doubt began to grow within you.

Months passed, and you and Carlos became inseparable. you travelled the world, experiencing the highs and lows of Carlos' racing career together. you cheered him on from the stands, your heart swelling with pride whenever he claimed victory. your love blossomed under the bright lights of the racetracks, seemingly immune to the temptations that often plagued those in the spotlight.

However, as time went on, you couldn't shake a nagging sense of doubt. Carlos would often receive attention from other women, and though he dismissed their advances, you couldn't help but wonder if he remained faithful. your fears grew stronger with each passing race, threatening to cloud your once-idyllic relationship.

One fateful night, as you lay awake in your shared apartment, you stumbled upon a message on Carlos' phone. It was a conversation that hinted at an illicit affair, casting a dark shadow over your love. your heart shattered into a million pieces, your world crumbling before your eyes.

And It was at times like these you wished you had a time machine, you thought to yourself as tears streaming down your face. The date of the message was October 13th, a date that would forever be etched in your memory. The pain of betrayal consumed you, leaving you feeling lost, betrayed, and utterly disgusted.

You confronted Carlos, your voice trembling with a mix of anger and hurt. "You wanna discuss?" you scoffed. You disgust me," you uttered, your voice barely above a whisper. Carlos was taken aback by your discovery, his eyes filled with regret and remorse. He tried to explain, He tried to explain, his words pouring out in a desperate attempt to salvage their relationship.

Your eyes flickered with a mixture of pain and skepticism. "How could you do this to me, Carlos?" you whispered, your voice trembling with raw emotion. "We were engaged, for crying out loud! I trusted you completely, and you betrayed me."

"I know I don't deserve your forgiveness right now," Carlos confessed, his voice laden with guilt. "But I want you to know that I've never stopped loving you. I let my insecurities get the best of me, and I made a terrible mistake. I'm willing to do whatever it takes to make things right, to earn back your trust."

Tears streamed down your face as you struggled to comprehend the extent of Carlos' betrayal. Conflicting emotions swirled within you—love, anger, confusion, and a glimmer of hope that your love could somehow survive this trial. You couldn't fathom how the man she loved could have betrayed you. You questioned every word, every gesture, and every memory you shared. The pain ran deep, tarnishing the beautiful memories you had created together.

The days that followed were filled with anguish and heartache. You found yourself struggling to trust again, haunted by the fear of being deceived once more. The wounds inflicted by Carlos' infidelity ran deep, and you vowed never to let herself be vulnerable again.

In the aftermath of the discovery, your world felt shattered. The love you once cherished had become tainted, and you struggled to regain your sense of self. Trust, once shattered, is not easily repaired. You distanced yourself from Carlos, needing space and time to heal.

Days turned into weeks, and weeks into months. Each passing moment allowed you to piece together your shattered heart. You embarked on a journey of self-discovery, learning to love yourself once again and understanding that Carlos's actions were a reflection of his choices, not your worth.

Time passed, and wounds slowly healed, but the pain of Carlos's betrayal lingered in your heart. You couldn't help but wonder about the reasons behind his actions and the true extent of his infidelity. Thoughts consumed you, making it difficult to fully move on.

Don't say sorry now, you thought bitterly. The pain of his actions had left scars that ran deep, impacting your ability to trust and love wholeheartedly. Nice guys who entered your life were met with scepticism, as you found yourself constantly questioning their intentions.

Years passed, and the hurt transformed into lessons learned. The resilience you found within yourself allowed you to grow stronger, transforming your pain into wisdom. You began to understand that blaming yourself for the choices of others was both unfair and unproductive.

As time went on, you pursued your dreams and passions, focusing on personal growth and building a life of your own. The sting of Carlos's betrayal became a distant memory, overshadowed by the strength and resilience you had cultivated.

Years passed, and both you and Carlos continued on separate paths. you found solace in your journey, focusing on personal growth, career aspirations, and finding a love that would honor her worth. You began to understand that blaming yourself for the choices of others was both unfair and unproductive.

It was a sunny summer day when you stood at the altar, ready to marry your beloved partner. As the ceremony began, your heart fluttered with excitement and nervous anticipation. Little did you know that an unexpected guest would soon make an appearance.

Walking down the aisle, your eyes widened in surprise when you saw Carlos, standing among the guests, his eyes locked with yours. The past flooded back, memories and emotions intertwined, creating a bittersweet sensation within you.

After the ceremony, you sought a moment alone with Carlos. As you stood facing each other, the weight of your shared history hung heavily in the air. your eyes met, conveying a complex mix of emotions—regret, longing, and the unspoken question of what could have been.

"Carlos," you began, your voice tinged with a mixture of warmth and caution. "It's been so long. I never expected to see you here." Carlos nodded, his gaze filled with a hint of sadness. "Y/N, it's good to see you. I'll never forget what we had and I regret the pain I caused you."

You smiled sadly, your heart aching for what was lost. "We've both grown and changed, Carlos. It's best to leave the past behind us."

Years later, as you reflected on that unexpected reunion, you felt a deep sense of gratitude. Carlos had been a significant part of your life, teaching you valuable lessons about trust, forgiveness, and the complexity of love.

You had found a love that honored your worth, someone who cherished and respected you. You had built a fulfilling life, surrounded by loved ones who uplifted and supported you. Though the scars of the past remained, they served as a reminder of your strength and resilience.

Your paths had diverged, and though the possibility of rekindling your love had faded, you and Carlos remained grateful for the time you had shared and the personal growth that came from your tumultuous journey.

Love, you both understood, could take unexpected turns, teaching valuable lessons and shaping the people you had become. And as life unfolded, you carried the memories of your past love, forever changed by the experience, but grateful for the wisdom it had bestowed upon you.

As you reflect on the journey you've endured, you come to understand that love is a fragile and delicate thing. It requires trust, honesty, and mutual respect to thrive. Carlos's betrayal left scars, but it also taught you invaluable lessons about resilience and self-worth.

You realize that the choices people make are not a reflection of your value. You learn to separate their actions from your self-worth and to approach new relationships with an open heart, free from the shackles of past pain.

[dylanj10000]

ChatGPT psychoanalyzed my big 3 (at my request)

So, I ran the following prompt through ChatGPT:

Create a psychological profile of me, based on my top 3 songs from each Taylor Swift album: Debut: Teardrops on My Guitar Our Song Should've Said No Fearless: White Horse You Belong With Me Love Story Speak Now: The Story Of Us Long Live Ours Red: The Last Time Ronan All Too Well 1989: Blank Space This Love Say Don't Go Reputation: …Ready For It? Getaway Car Look What You Made Me Do Lover: Paper Rings Cornelia Street Death By A Thousand Cuts Folklore: Seven August Betty Evermore: Champagne Problems Evermore Marjorie Midnights: Snow On The Beach You're On Your Own, Kid Mastermind The Tortured Poets Department: But Daddy I Love Him Clara Bow The Manuscript

It came back with some interesting results lololol

Based on your top three song choices from each Taylor Swift album, here's a psychological profile highlighting your potential personality traits, emotional inclinations, and values: Emotional Depth and Sensitivity Your selections, especially from "Red" (e.g., "All Too Well," "Ronan") and "Evermore" (e.g., "Champagne Problems," "Marjorie"), indicate a deep emotional sensitivity and a profound capacity for empathy. You are likely introspective, valuing meaningful connections and often reflecting on past experiences and relationships. Romantic Idealism and Heartache From songs like "Love Story" and "You Belong With Me" on "Fearless" to "Cornelia Street" and "Death By A Thousand Cuts" on "Lover," it's clear that romance plays a significant role in your life. You cherish the idea of a fairytale romance but are also no stranger to heartbreak, showcasing resilience and a belief in the power of love despite challenges. Resilience and Growth Your preference for songs like "You're On Your Own, Kid" from "Midnights" and "The Story Of Us" from "Speak Now" suggests a strong sense of personal growth and resilience. You likely value independence and self-reliance, learning from your experiences and using them as stepping stones for personal development. Nostalgia and Sentimentality The inclusion of nostalgic and reflective tracks such as "Seven" and "Betty" from "Folklore" and "Long Live" from "Speak Now" indicates a sentimental nature. You likely hold cherished memories close and have a fondness for reminiscing about the past, which influences your current worldview. Complexity and Duality Selections from "Reputation" like "Look What You Made Me Do" and "...Ready For It?" show that you embrace the complexities and dualities within yourself. You understand that life isn't black and white and are comfortable navigating the gray areas, acknowledging both your strengths and vulnerabilities. Creativity and Imagination Choosing songs like "Blank Space" and "This Love" from "1989" and "Mastermind" from "Midnights" suggests a rich inner world and a strong creative streak. You appreciate storytelling and often use imagination as a means of expression and understanding the world around you. Compassion and Humanitarianism Your picks from "Red" (e.g., "Ronan") and "Evermore" (e.g., "Marjorie") highlight a compassionate and humanitarian side. You are likely driven by a desire to help others and may feel deeply moved by social issues and personal stories of hardship and triumph. Summary You are a deeply emotional and empathetic individual, with a strong sense of nostalgia and romantic idealism. Despite experiencing heartache and challenges, you show resilience and a continual desire for personal growth. Your appreciation for complex narratives and duality suggests a nuanced understanding of life, coupled with a vivid imagination and creative spirit. Compassionate and humanitarian at heart, you seek to connect with others on a meaningful level and cherish the memories and experiences that shape you.

Honestly, I highly recommend sending your big 3 in, and seeing what your own swiftie psychological profile says about you LMAO

[yuv4na]

Harmonies in the Cosmos: Exploring 'The Dark Side of the Moon,' 'Twin Fantasy,' and 'Anveshna' – A Sonic Odyssey

Hello there,

I'm that person who always has her headphones on (yes, I'm listening to music right now). From bouncing between various music phases, I've evolved into the "everything" listener. Lately, I've been drawn to albums with meaningful themes that thread all their songs together. It just clicks, you know? So, if you're someone like me, here are a few albums with beautifully woven themes that deserve a spot in your playlist.

1) THE DARK SIDE OF THE MOON - by pink floyd

So, "The Dark Side of the Moon" by Pink Floyd? That album is like a deep dive into the human psyche, you know? Released back in '73, it's like a musical journey exploring life, time, and the not-so-sunny sides of being human. Time is a big player here – tick-tocking clocks and all. It's like a constant reminder that life's ticking away, urging you to ponder how you're spending your precious moments. And then there's "Brain Damage" shining a light on the fine line between sanity and madness, delving into the mental health rollercoaster. But it's not just introspective stuff; they take a swipe at society too. "Money" and "Us and Them" throws shade at the dehumanizing grind, the rat race, and the whole conformity circus. Pink Floyd was like, "Let's talk about the real stuff," you know? And like a cherry on the top, the songs flow seamlessly into one another, creating a continuous musical experience, so get ready for a fully immersive experience. It's an album that hits you in the feels and makes you think – a timeless classic for sure.

2) TWIN FANTASY - by car seat headrest

Twin Fantasy is like a musical rollercoaster through the twists and turns of love, relationships, and self-discovery. It's like Will Toledo decided to spill his heart out on every track, creating this coming-of-age masterpiece that's basically a soundtrack to the messy, beautiful journey of growing up. The whole album feels like a personal diary set to music, you know? With the title "Twin Fantasy," it's like Toledo is playing around with this idea of duality, maybe reflecting the internal tug-of-war we all go through when trying to figure ourselves out. There's this mirrored quality to the narrative that adds this extra layer of complexity. And the lyrics? they're like a direct line to Toledo's soul. It's like he's baring it all – the struggles of getting close to someone, the impact of mental health on relationships, and the whole messy business of trying to figure out who you are. Something I love about he album is that It's not just a bunch of tracks; it's a cohesive story. Each song is like a chapter in this novel of emotions. And the vulnerability! It's refreshing how honest and raw Toledo gets. Listening to "Twin Fantasy" is like taking a deep dive into the complexities of relationships and self-discovery. It's relatable on so many levels – like Toledo is narrating the soundtrack of our own messy, beautiful lives.

3) ANVESHNA - by arpit bala

"Anveshna" isn't just an album; it's a journey through the labyrinth of human emotions, skillfully crafted by Arpit Bala alongside Sangeetkir and A.O.D. The very essence of the title, meaning 'to find something,' sets the stage for a narrative that delves into the story of a lost soul going through a heartache. Arpit Bala seems to have poured his heart and soul into this creation, turning it into a personalized exploration of obsession, heartbreak, and self-doubt. It's like he's inviting you to step into his world and feel every chord, every beat, and every lyric as if they were tailor-made for your own emotional journey.What makes "Anveshna" truly exceptional is its seamless storytelling. As you listen, you can't help but be swept away by the cohesion of the four tracks. The beauty lies in how each song flows effortlessly and gracefully into the next.In essence, "Anveshna" is not just an auditory experience; it's a personal odyssey. This album is like an invitation to feel, to reflect, and to find something within yourself.

[69fever]

_

my love letter to you, my boyfriend

💌

-

i am infatuated with you. ever since i was 13 years old, it has always been you. i don't know what it is. i'm just so undeniably drawn to you, i can't escape it. and i don't want to escape it. i don't want to run from this or from you. in a way, it scares me. the feeling is so deep and simply intense that it's panicking. i have never felt this way about anyone before, part of me wanted to run from it to avoid any heartbreak, but if all things backfire, i now see that loving you will always be worth it, no matter the cost. remember that poem i wrote you, all those months ago, and the line reads "consume me, please", i meant that with every part of my soul. i'm so utterly consumed by you that it is suffocating. not a single day goes by where you don't cross my mind. not a single hour or a single minute for that matter. to quote tyler the creator in the song "ifhy": "10 minutes can't go past without you brushing my thoughts, that's 1440 a day so i'll say a hundred and forty-four times i think about you".

i can't help but truly believe that you are my twin flame. our connection just feels so intense, it feels like it goes deeper than just love and emotion. like i feel it in my soul and in my whole being, like i belong with you. we were born on the same day. we are so alike but simultaneously, so entirely different. you are my other half completely. i will never be able to find a connection like this with anyone else, and i know that for a fact. i will never be able to find something as this meaningful and special to me. you are simply irreplaceable. you have made an irreversible mark on my heart that, no matter what, i will never be able to get rid of. you are my starboy.

i can't throw this away. i can't let this go, i know that it is too special to be given up on. i want to fight for it and i want to fight for you. i want to understand you, i want to know you in and out and know everything about you. every single small thing, what annoys you and what thrills you. what you love and what you hate. what your favourite thing to do first thing in the morning and your favourite thing to do last thing before you go to sleep. i feel like i know you, but i want to know more.

recently, i have only been recalling the bad things that has happened between us and the negatives, and i'm sure you feel the same way to some extent. when really, our relationship was so enchanting and positive. i've experienced some of my biggest life moments with you, and we've been through so much together.

i never expected any of this to happen and i still wonder what went wrong. it was such a whirlwind and it's been quite literally an emotional rollercoaster. in a way though, i think it has been good for me, and i hope it has benefitted you as well. i feel alive again, i feel like i have a life again, i appreciate life once more and i want to live. i want you to be apart of my life again. i've learnt a lot through this experience and i have learnt a lot from you and you've motivated me to be a better version of myself. i want to prove myself to you and be better than before. i want to protect you and comfort you again, i want you fall asleep in my arms and to feel safe with me and to wake up together. i want to laugh with you and i want to cry with you.

i appreciate you more than life itself and i care for you with my whole heart. i love every part of you, physically and mentally. i love the way that you see life and how you think. i admire you so entirely and i respect you. you are genuinely the most magnetic, beautiful, interesting, amazing and coolest person i have ever met.

-

certified lover girl. ♡

[urdreamgirls-dreamgirl]

OMG I just caught up reading your steddie au fic and it just is so incredibly amazing I honestly can't describe in words how much I love it?? Like Ethel Cain is my favorite musician and "Sun bleached flies" was my song of 2022, so when I got the lyrics in your authors note I just was so emotionally devastated like "I'm still waiting for that house in Nebraska, on the highway at the edge of town, dancing with the windows open... " how could you do this to me I actually cried😭 And I love how bittersweet the steddie relationship is, normally I don't like angst but I adore the self-sacrificial Steve characterization you wrote where he doesn't want to be far from Hawkins in case something happens, and then his own idea is proven right when something does happen, like that is just so angsty and perfect!! And when Steve had to work and see Eddie on the cover of a magazine, like askhhfldaksdj its just so tragic and how Eddie was talking about him in the interview...I wish they could meet up and see how much they mean to each other but also the miscommunication and tragedy is so good too!! I wish I could articulate myself better because I feel like I can't explain how much I really love this fic, like I normally don't do angst but for some reason this fic just makes so much sense in my mind and I love it!! Thank you for posting it, I love all your other writing as well!! :D

omgggggg???? this is so nice :')

I am currently obsessed with Ethel Cain, I listened to Preacher's Daughter non-stop over winter break and then forced my family to listen to it in the car after I explained the narrative to them (they did not care for it lol). And then I was listening to just "A House in Nebraska" and "Sun Bleached Flies" on repeat, literally just over and over and over again, and I was like "hmmmmm..... what if???? everyone was just so so sad??? what then???" and I wrote the first part. I'm being totally, absolutely honest with you when I say that all I intended to write was that one angsty first part, it was supposed to be a stand-alone piece!! But I can never help myself and you guys have been so nice.

I never thought of myself as an angst writer, but I think it's becoming pretty clear that that's what I do lol their dynamic here is so interesting to me, because they do love each other. The love is there and it's deep and strong and meaningful but it's still not enough, because Steve is traumatized and so is Eddie but they're approaching it in vastly different ways. Eddie leaves and there's nothing wrong with that. As the great Taylor Swift once sang, "sometimes to run is the brave thing"!!!! And Steve stays because he's scared. And the heartbreaking thing, for me, is that there really isn't a miscommunication; they both know exactly why the other is doing the things they're doing. There's no big fight or anything. They can fully understand each other because they know each other so well. They can't blame each other for doing what they need to do to heal and to live the lives they need to. Eddie gets the things he's always wanted and loses Steve. Steve gets a modicum of comfort in staying close to Hawkins, but he loses Eddie. It's so tragic because they know why it's happening and they can't fix it without changing, unless one of them bends, but they're too afraid of breaking and so it falls apart. And Steve is right!!!! He's vindicated!!!!! But all his worst fears are coming true, so of course there's no victory there.

Thank you so so so much for this sweet message. This seriously made my night!! <3

[jongsecg]

Behind The Story of Our Music

Hey guys, it's Jorao (@iminggyu) and Christian (@Chrlistian) from EuphonicTape! So, we were given this cool mission to swap three meaningful songs each. Today, we're teaming up to share our stories and thoughts about the songs we exchanged. Let's get into it!

-iminggyu pov-

The first song is 'Out of Time' by The Weeknd. In my opinion, this song is incredibly soothing and perfect for listening to while working or relaxing. As a fan of several of The Weeknd's songs, it's definitely going on my playlist! However, it's also quite sad as it tells the story of loss and regret in a relationship that has ended.

The second song is 'Leaving California' by Maroon 5. I've never heard a song as good as this one before; it's really enjoyable to listen to. Once again, it's a song filled with emotion, about saying goodbye and moving on after losing someone you love. The lyrics reflect the sadness and longing felt when leaving California, often seen as a symbol of freedom and dreams. This song also depicts the emotional and physical journey of finding peace and healing after a breakup—Hey bang Crisht, don't dwell on it too long!

The third song is 'Holy Grail' by Jay Z. This time, the song is full of solid beats and rap! I've never heard this song before, but it's really hitting the spot. It reflects on fame, success, and its consequences. The lyrics convey mixed feelings towards success and fame, as well as the burdens that come with that status. The song also portrays how celebrity life often isn't as perfect as it seems from the outside, touching on themes like isolation, loneliness, and internal struggles.

-chrlistian pov-

Some type of love by Charlie Puth. I think this song delves into the concept of an everlasting and fulfilling love that transcends the passage of time. The song portrays a deep and unbreakable bond between two individuals who vow to remain together through life's ups and down. The song conveys a message of commitment, selflessness, and the enduring power of love that can stand the test of time.

Stand out fit in by ONE OK ROCK. A song about the society’s hypocrisy which, at the same time, encourages the individual to ‘Stand Out’ and demands him to ‘Fit In’ into a standard created by the society itself. There is a lot message in this movie video. The song is about being yourself despite the voices around you that tell you to be a certain way.

Save Yourself by ONE OK ROCK. The song is a call to take care of yourself and save yourself from the pain of love. It encourages the listener to trust themselves and their own fate and to not rely on anyone else, even if they feel tempted to do so. The chorus repeats the message of 'saving yourself' in order to protect from the potential pain of heartbreak. It also encourages everyone to be brave, and to have the courage to take their own path and to trust themselves.

And that's our opinion on the songs given by our partner. We really enjoyed the songs provided; there's no doubt our partner made the right choice.

-End of mission.

[existentialmagazine]

Review: SATRE’s newest single ‘Breath Out’ carries the most aching atmosphere mixed with the woes of a crumbling relationship

The Swedish up-and-coming singer-songwriter SATRE has found himself based in London, UK as of late, sharing his craft with anyone and everyone across the globe. Influenced by acts like The Lumineers and Bon Iver, he delivers indie folk-pop doused in feelings of melancholy and nostalgia, always resonating with audiences for his hints of realism and relatability.

Now sharing his newest single ‘Breath Out’, SATRE weaves in newfound intimate detailings within a folk-pop ballad of a piece, departing from his most recent releases both lyrically and musically for something breathtakingly unique. With bright piano keys blended against synth whirs and the most tender acoustic guitar strummed introduction, you cannot help but feel the track’s melancholic nature aching in your core right from pressing play, wallowing without even words needed to describe the all-consuming emotions flowing through. This enveloping wave only continues into the verse, even with the instruments mostly fading out, leaving way for a finger-picked acoustic guitar riff to pull your heart strings into its softened pillow of sound. SATRE’s gentle vocals quiver with emotion through it, running deeply through the soundscape and placing roots that are unwavering, showcasing a level of power mixed with breathy delicacy.

The chorus picks up in intensity, building both atmosphere and closeness in one through a build-up of echoey backing vocal moments, all before things come crashing into a high that’s devastatingly real and raw. With hoarse, rising vocals that crack on the most meaningful lines, the weight of everything that SATRE sings hangs heavy in the air like nothing else maters. The instruments are just as crashing, hauntingly soaring through backing ooh’s and ahh’s, with the richest piano keys and warm sound effects to match.

The meaning is just as poignant as the sound, slowly allowing you into every inch of its carefully revealed secrets. As SATRE works through the woes of a relationship falling apart, many of the lines can’t help but be relatable to most, but there’s a slither of something else embedded in too. As his sincerity comes with sharing some of the hardest parts of real-life, he also touches on the impact of substance abuse in a relationship and the struggle of letting go of something or someone you care about. Through the tumultuous on and off, SATRE sings ‘slam the door, just to hear my voice’, acknowledging the toxic cycle many often find themselves swept up in and the way communication begins to fail. Continuing ‘don’t you think I can smell it on you, the chemicals inside’ , it’s made evident that his lover may be keeping their secrets bottled up, but the reality of their drug abuse is all too obvious. While he pushes to ‘go to bed, sleep it off instead’ , there’s no amount of sleep or things they could do that would remove the harm they’re causing themselves, and deep down he knows that. Before the chorus hits, the most pained lines of them all ring out as SATRE reveals he’s ‘worried about you all the time.’ It continues just as bravely and as heavy-heartedly, sharing some of his innermost experiences to the masses.

SATRE adds, “It’s a song I’ve had with me for a long time. It’s always been very special to me and I’ve been quite nervous to present it as it is quite different from the type of songs people would usually associate me with. However, I think it’s an important topic to bring to light. I’ve already received a lot of messages from listeners who want to share their own stories and struggles within this subject. It’s been heartbreaking but at the same time very inspiring, people out there and stronger and more resilient than you could ever imagine.”

Whether you can relate, or perhaps just want a song that makes you feel less alone, SATRE definitely does that in ‘Breath Out’ that you can continue listening to here.

Written by: Tatiana Whybrow

Photo Credits: Lang Shot Photography

// This coverage was supported and created via Musosoup, #SustainableCurator.

[alluringjae]

until dawn; pt. II - ljn

part I | part II

⤑ summary: basic number one rule of the museum is not to touch the art. but no one told jeno that falling for one of them isn’t allowed either.

⤑ pairing: jeno x female reader

⤑ word count: 12.2k

⤑ genre: ANGST, fluff, romance, smut (f receiving, dom!jeno waow, dirty talk, wrap it everyone) | broke architecture major!jeno, historical figure!reader, enemies to lovers!au, college!au, night at the museum-inspired!au

⤑ warnings: references to actual historical figures, explicit language, graphic details, major heartbreak caused by another party, expect time jumps too

⤑ author’s note: happy jeno day!! i’ve been so excited to post this part, and i’m happy we’re here!! perhaps, this is the last long fic i’ll write for a while so i can rest, but i’ll still be posting short stories within the weeks to come! i’m excited for may to say the least hehe

btw, for the smut scene (indicated with **), i highly recommend you listen to strange (feat. hillary smith) by kris bowers!! this song is from the bridgerton soundtrack, and oh man, the feels!!

with that, enjoy!

italicized text either means they are personal notes or flashbacks.

this was meant to be more angsty, but either way, i screamed every time i wrote something gut-wrenching.

⤑ taglist: @renjunniehome

​ ⤑ ctto above!!

⤑  leave me some feedback, constructive criticism, or hellos!

“You ready to get your butt beaten by me, Lee?”

“Prepare your final words when I win instead, (Y/L/N).”

Mischievous banter exchanged between you two became a new norm. Almost every night, someone within the art pieces established a contest over anything and it released the competitive sides of you two. So far, Jeno has been winning. Not like it hurt your pride, but maybe just once, you could conquer one game to feel better. Not only that, there’s a mini penalty for the loser. So far, you’ve cleaned up the lobby yourself and acted cutely to everyone the entire evening (or aegyo as Jeno called it).

Tonight, a game of archery was held by the Greek gods. They pushed away any extra pieces away, leaving the whole room vacant with two boards right beside Zeus’ throne. Numerous arrows were produced and sharpened, Zeus in the center announced to everyone participating.

“It’ll be 1 on 1 games. First to go are Jeno vs (Y/N), followed by Athena vs. Hermes, Cleopatra vs. Freddie, and last would be Hades vs Aphrodite.”

Cutting the chase, you didn’t expect Jeno to be that good at archery. Sure, he told you that he took classes with his friends for fun when he was younger, though it showed that he’s a fast learner and even hit one bullseye in the middle of the game.

Not slightly threatened until the last rounds, you fixed your aim and lessened your overthinking when preparing to shoot. Thus, you scored 2 bullseyes shot. It was a close fight, having the audience on the edge on their feet again because it’s the two of you. Your dynamic with the night guard always elevated the mood, shifting their bets over and over again.

By 1 point, you received your first victory against Jeno. Unlike you, he showcased his sportsmanship sweetly without any comments of disbelief. He’s never bragged about anything big in his life, not unless it’s a high grade for his plate. Normally, he celebrated wins in a laid-back manner. But don’t be fooled: he loves giving penalties.

“This is why I don’t make bets with my friends because I really go for their weak spots.”

“You’re cynical, Lee Jeno.”

“Only if you’re close to me, (Y/N) (Y/L/N).”

“Aren’t we already past that stage?”

Almost halfway through his job, he sustained a meaningful friendship with you. Out of everyone, you were his default person to hang out within the nights he had a shift. If he wasn’t present, he made sure to give you small treats or gifts as much as possible. An innocent friendship, it was that the world would’ve never believed in.

Or was it?

“To celebrate your win, what do you want me to do?”

“You’re too kind for me to play around with, even if you’re the complete opposite of me.”

“I’ll make it simple and worthwhile since I don’t know when I’ll win a game again.” As your finger tapped your temple as you pondered deeply, a smart idea came through. “Grant me 3 wishes.”

He chuckled, lowering himself to view you better. “Am I like some genie now to you?”

“No room to complain, I won, didn’t I?” You grinned, raising one brow to show your dominance.

“You’re petty in your own way, aren’t you?”

“Perhaps. Now come on, I want to use my first wish.” You shrugged it off like no big deal, loving the high feeling of triumph. You lead him to the center of the lobby, where a beautiful grand piano only selected people get to play during exhibits. “Open the museum piano.”

Ever since you were brought to life, you never used it. Tempting but because people from the outside might here, maybe it’s time to try something new. A new challenge, and besides, you missed entertaining people through it. The last time you touched the delicate piano keys was to your family before you ran away.

It’s a good thing that in the shackle of keys Jeno held, the needed key was there. Unlocking the lustrous black instrument, you sat by the matching black bench. Crackling your fingers, you tested by pressing a few keys to get the hang of it again.

“What are you planning to play, (Y/N)?” Jeno leaned against the side, his arms crossed.

Humming the first notes of your piece, the nostalgia ran through your veins. “Nocturne No. 2 in E flat by Chopin.”

Your fingers took off and played each chord slowly and calmly. This piece reminded you the most of your mother, who sat by the couch in front of your old piano with your father while guests from the party they hosted crowded around you. Being the youngest, they often requested you to perform as entertainment so you always put your best foot forward. Or so you tried.

Nevertheless, no one else in your family was capable to play this piece as perfectly as you. By the way your eyes closed and your body swayed to the mellow tune, Jeno observed how you memorized this piece by heart. A passionate flame you were, outshining every pianist out there.

He wasn’t surprised at how multi-talented you were, though there’s a different kind of aura you present when you played the instrument. From your hard and tough front, you could be soft and sweet to the right people.

In a way, you showed your comfort toward the boy by serenading him with the piano. Sketching him with him in the past was one thing, but this was another. You’d sketch with people you’ve grown used to, but you play piano to people you want to cherish in your life. As dangerous as it seems, Jeno was someone special to you, only wanting to have good moments with him.

Junmyeon will always have a huge part in your museum life, but Jeno filled the emptiness that he left behind. This loneliness for a human friend vanquished thanks to Jeno, and you didn’t want to jeopardize it at all. Sure, whenever he acted like a gentleman around you, let you inside the Foreign Art Room, or brought you food sometimes, you couldn’t help feel honored.

Though lately, every time he showed off his strength when he defeated Zeus and Hades during an arm wrestle game the god held again. You seriously had to catch a breath at every flex his arms made, like the goddesses. Maybe how he pushed his black hair back when he’s drawing another plate, you’d give yourself a few extra seconds to see his long fingers skim through them. He’d bit his lower lip when he’s in too deep with his creativity, wondering if he’d bite the lower lip of the girl he’d ki-

All right, (Y/N), relax. Maybe you’re thinking this way because it’s been decades since your last relationship. You wouldn’t want to fall for another possible trap and hurt yourself again, right?

Ever since this job, Jeno’s university life drastically changed. Yes, he still hung out with his friends and performed extremely well in his classes, though he prioritized anything related to the museum wherever he was. If they were drinking out, he’d buy an extra bottle of soju for you on his way back to the dorm. Rarely does he get shitfaced anyways.

If he and Renjun visited the bookstore to purchase pens or any art-related materials, he always bought either an extra sketchpad or set of pens. Even if you were simply a figure to everyone else, he appreciated the bond you both developed.

Every night, he’d tell you about his day from the start. Normally, it consisted of a lot of schoolwork and coffee, some stories about his roommates too. Speaking of them, he’d insert a lot of humorous words about his entire group of friends, whom you learned their names too.

Mark, Jaemin, Renjun, Jisung, Chenle, and Donghyuck, each of them presented a different color in their group. Jeno, who’d admitted to being shy and quiet, grew out of his shell because of them. A friend of Jeno’s would automatically be a friend of yours, if only you were allowed to leave the museum or become a human.

Jeno learned more about your past explorations that never got documented because you no longer had an interest in jotting them down. They were adventures you’d kept to yourself, memories only close to you then would know. Except now, Jeno was another addition. You’re not the type to instantly open to people, though again, a sense of relief surrounded him every time you encounter each other. It grew gradually like a warm hug, softening your heart and breaking your walls.

The more he spent time with you, nothing feared Jeno the slightest. He’s always maintained himself intact, avoiding lines to be crossed and giving respect to those who deserve it. However, he began to question himself where exactly his feelings lie with you after Jaemin tried to set him up on a blind double date just so the best friend of his date wouldn’t feel left out.

He’s rarely one to get crushes on people, even when other girls in his college openly showed their affection towards him. Valentine’s Day or his birthday, several girls sent him chocolate or flowers. Jaemin and Renjun got sick of girls reaching out to them first so they could reach him. It’s not because he’s not the dating type, but because he’s so goal-oriented that unlike his roommates, he doesn’t have a slight clue about dating.

Though one-night stands while at a party and dating were completely different, he’d still say he had experience with girls. Plus having an older sister, he never took advantage of them. He’d rather tell them in person that the feelings weren’t mutual than ghosting them. He’s not like Jaemin anyways.

With that, he’s so lost when his heart beats twice as fast the second you’ve woken up from your posing slumber. He doesn’t comprehend how flustered he’d be when you highly insist to help him with his plate or how cute he finds it when you’re playing fetch with Mochi. On top of it, when you chose to sketch each other for one of your sketching sessions, he’d take a longer stare at your visage before he drew some strokes.

A lot of historical accounts mentioned how your beauty was the standard of the Victorian era, wherein you were the jewel of your neighborhood and numerous men wanted your hand. Women envied you, especially having high intelligence skills that were equivalent to a man. That time, that felt like a threat to most men. Though surprisingly, it turns out there were men who liked intelligent girls.

Jeno knew he liked you as a friend, though liking you past that he didn’t intend. Nor was it allowed because it’ll break one of the golden rules. Before he’d go beyond contemplating, he had to stop himself. This was so unlike him. The feelings will fleet away, he’d repeat to himself. Don’t waste a great friendship because of your silly emotions.

Individually, both of you swallowed these harboring feelings down your guts and simply kept your friendship status safe. Doing your typical activities or whatever else you could think of, none of you minded to change it whatsoever.

Unknown to you though, it was obvious to the other art pieces ones that you two practically passed off as young lovers. Although they know that pushing one towards the other went against the rules, Aphrodite begged to differ.

“Holding them back from expressing what they really feel just because of the law here is a tragedy. They should at least try, you know?”

On another typical night, Jeno invited you to the Theater Room for a movie marathon. After finding out that you’ve never seen any moving pictures, he wanted to be there to introduce it. Luck was on his side to not have plates or requirements due for the week and everyone was behaving themselves, so he started with rolling out short films from the 88mm projector. Having premade popcorn and drinks, the two of you shared roars of laughter and emotional tears.

Switching to the cd player for longer and clearer films, you’d opt to believe that you were born at the wrong time. With all these advancements, it came with a lot of new beliefs. One of them was allowing women to study and work. Then again, she was a pioneer according to historians. Without her, it wouldn’t help shape society as it is today.

Nonetheless, this movie Jeno played on the big screen was what he defined as “one of the classics”, 10 Things I Hate About You.

This outspoken character named Kat was presenting a poem to her class, trying to hold in her raw emotions towards Patrick, the boy who broke her heart. Too engaged, you didn’t notice how Jeno stretched his arms out so he could wrap one around your shoulder. Not that you were complaining, his warmth reassuring you safety.

“I hate the way you talk to me, and the way you cut your hair. I hate the way you drive my car. I hate it when you stare. I hate your big dumb combat boots and the way you read my mind. I hate you so much it makes me sick; it even makes me rhyme. I hate it, I hate the way you're always right. I hate it when you lie.” The way she attempted to keep her strong ground only reminded you of where you were weeks ago, especially once she excruciatingly broke down.

“I hate it when you make me laugh, even worse when you make me cry. I hate it when you're not around, and the fact that you didn't call. But mostly I hate the way I don't hate you. Not even close, not even a little bit, not even at all.” Only when you leaned back to the chair, you felt his arm. His thumb caressing your covered shoulder, you peeked him a little bit. His eyes fixated on the screen, absorbed in the acting and how Kat’s tears weren’t scripted as she stormed out of the classroom.

Not that you were her, but it sparked the past memory of how you merely disliked him because of his job. But as a person, not even close, not even once did you hate him. How blessed that he never judged you for it, staying patient all this time.

Right before he could look back at you, you moved your face back to resume your watching. Jeno definitely noticed what you did, though not sure as to why. Whatever it was, it wasn’t harmful.

Once the film ended, Jeno checked his watch for the time. 4 am, he wanted to do something else now instead of film viewing. You were on par with it, wanting to walk it out after being seated for hours. As you both cleaned up and bid the posters outside goodbye, the doors to the museum were locked unexpectedly. Impossible on Jeno’s half because he had the keys for every room, but he double-checked his bunch.

Alas, the keys for these doors specifically were missing. But there was no other way anyone could’ve gotten it, plus it’s not like the last person he talked to, which was Aphrodite, would need it.

Or did she?

Rather than putting any blame on each other, your only wish now was to return to your section before sunrise. You and he could just relax momentarily before yelling for help.

“Maybe we should watch another film first?”

“Alright, you choose while I return the rest.”

As Jeno inserted the cd of Cinema Paradiso inside, the background music of the opening played. He hummed the first notes, already feeling the love from this film. Another must-see classic as recommended by Renjun, he wanted to rewatch it with you.

Slowly returning each cd and film roll to their respective drawers, the melodious theme had you waltzing in the small space. Even beyond your life, classical music never gets old. Aging like fine wine, sounding spectacular as time passes because of people’s creativity.

Jeno gazed over your sudden movements, smiling uncontrollably at how immersed you were as you multi-tasked. However, you took a wrong turn by the desk and almost dropped a priceless film roll. But before you fully slipped and fell, a pair of strong arms caught you at the right time. Panting from the nerves, mostly when he was inches from your face. Never has he pressed his body this close to you to protect you, and never have you seen his captivating eyes this up close.

As enchanting as the background music of Ennio Morricone was, it only became noise once Jeno took ahold of the film roll on your hand and placing down on the desk. Taking another step closer, you were backed up by the edge. Not to mention how his height dignified his impact on you, your arms were still situated by your side with nowhere else to go.

That was until his finger elevated your chin so he could meet you on eye-to-eye level. His other hand gripping your waist, you became brave enough to place your hands by his broad shoulders. Licking your lips, you glanced at his lips quickly. But he noticed it, and as risky as this was, it was a leap of faith to take.

“May I kiss you?”

Always such a gentleman, even when he already knew how much you desired him through your returning affections. Calming your breath patterns by the speed of everything occurring, you came back to your senses. He’s the one who constantly told you not to forget your roots, so you were going to take this one.

You trust him, and he does too.

“Yes.”

Since the first film, some kind of tension increased the closer he moved or intimate his actions were towards you. You kept pushing it back in hopes not to ruin what you both have. But it only turned out to be mutual, especially how none of you held back as soon as his lips passionately clashed yours.

Tangling your arms around his neck, you stood on your tiptoes to press even closer to him. Feeling his lively heart pumping against your hollow chest, you bit his lower lip. Something you’ve secretly craved to do, he growled from the pleasure. He hoisted your waist to the desk, his impatient hands earnestly traveling all over your body. While your legs locked around his torso, your feisty nature leaned back so your entire body lied on the small desk.

Jeno was on top, placing one hand down to hold himself while the other squeezed your waist firmly. Even if you’re made of wax, you’re like an actual living woman at night. Everything about you becomes real until dawn. You emitted vulgar moans, giving him more access to your neck. Peppering a mix of soft to hard kisses, your hand teasingly snaked under his shirt. He really wasn’t joking when he bragged that he was quite ripped since he enjoyed sports and going to the gym, cupping a part of his toned abdomen.

“If you want something, all you have to do is ask.” He sluggishly sucked the area between your ear and neck, one of your weakest spots. “What’s on your mind, baby?”

The growing moistness in between your legs left a stain in your panties, trying to close your legs out of embarrassment. It’s been decades since you’ve been stimulated like this. However, Jeno beat you to it as he trailed the hand that was on your waist and lowering it right above your covered sex. He cupped it agonizingly slow, making you folding your leg from the pleasure. For a man who doesn’t date around, he knew exactly what he’s doing.

“I just kissed you, and you’re already this soaked. Can you handle me, baby?”

As the strong woman that you present yourself to be, it would selfishly take the right touch from the right man to weaken you. With his savage lips back on yours while your hands clutched on his shirt, he was simply waiting for a verbal answer, yet driving you completely mad. Everything was happening so fast, and here he was to please you in anywhere you seem fit.

You were deprived, and oh, you needed it more than ever.

However, seconds before you replied, there was loud rumbling from the main doors which stopped your devilish antics. As Jeno moved back from you to see the ruckus, you lifted yourself back up, pulling back your dress sleeves and flattening out the creases. The last thing you wanted was a trail of familiar red marks from the aggressive male, finding any reflective surfaces to check.

“I wouldn’t be that dumb to leave you hickies now, would I?” Jeno ended your worries as he placed his hands by your side again. His face leaned towards yours again, reliving the warmth in your cheeks. His lips were plumper, catching traces of your coral lipstick smudged there down to his jaw. He slotted himself again between your legs, grazing a hand on your waist and the other to your warm cheek. “The door’s unlocked now, and it’s 5 am. Do you want to clean up now?”

You playfully scoffed, aware that neither of you had plans to do that yet. Such a player while in the heat of the moment.

“Spare me 15 more minutes with you first.”

Hiding the romance you’ve both built failed without trying. Aphrodite spotted all the signs from your open physical affection and words of admiration, calling you two out in front of everyone without shame. She is the goddess of love, after all. You couldn’t fool her even if you tried.

Plus, she’s the one who locked the two of you up in the Theater Room that night. But neither of you know that.

“Sketch my ideal home?” Jeno bent down to the table, testing out his newly bought pens so they wouldn’t spill.

“Isn’t that why you decided to pursue Architecture in the first place? Come on now!” You pestered across him, opening your new sketchpad since your last one ran out of pages. As expected, Jeno bought you one when he went to the bookstore. As much as you insisted not to because he should use the money somewhere else, he did it anyway. He loved your works, encouraging you in any way he could.

When he was reminded of his humble beginnings of his passion for architecture by you, never had he envisioned exactly how his perfect home would be like. Settling down was so far beyond his mind, only focusing to graduate university then study for the licensure exams. However, he did miss drawing something for fun, not as a requirement. He also was the one who took charge of designing his dorm.

“Fine, only if you draw what your ideal home would’ve been if you never left London.”

Now as lovers, the only addition to your relationship were the public and private exchanges of affection. Deep conversations, film viewing, back and forth banter, you’re both still the same competitive duo everyone expected to be together. In public, the two of you held hands, hugged, kissed each other cheeks too when it felt right. Cleopatra’s face of fake nausea was priceless every time, while Princess Diana, Anne, and Katherine enjoyed it. It’s been years since they’ve seen this glow of adoration in you. Bit by bit, you’re going back to the old you. Except now, you’re a lot stronger.

Perhaps, this version of you proved wrong for the need for romance. Even if you made the choice not to settle down then, it would’ve been different if Jeno was in your universe then.

“Are you done there?” Jeno asked while you were finishing up your masterpiece. Life in London sounded fun when you were younger, having all these ideas on interior design and the like. An innocent time.

Instead of replying, you strode to his side and compared your pieces together. He pictured a two-story home, with a backyard and rooftop area. He definitely wanted to stay in the city as his whole life was based there. Although you preferred living in the countryside more for more freedom, you gave it a shot by pinpointing every detail of a wealthy typical Victorian-era home you liked. You desired a spacious lobby with a grand staircase in the middle, a crystal chandelier there too. The living room would have a small library and a grand piano, where wide doors leading to the grasslands were beside it.

Considering you two lived from different times, in a way your ideal homes were similar. Somewhere private, surrounded by nature and minimal furniture, you’re curious as to how it would look if the two of you fused them together. A mix of old and new, will it look pretty?

“What will look pretty?” Jeno questioned your random thought, looking back and forth at your sketches. “You know who’s pretty though?”

“If you say what I think you’re going to say, I’m lea-”

“You.”

Jeno has gotten flirtier since that night, always finding the right opportunity to flatter you. Although you denied them out of embarrassment, the butterflies in your stomach can’t lie to you.

You’re so smitten, and so was he.

Jeno’s always one to follow the rules, but so far, he’s been breaking some of them already.

Just last night, he gave Renjun access to the lively museum because he needed more research regarding you. Initially, he practically interviewed Jeno for every piece of information he gathered because he used to be so deep in the books to study everything about you. Now in the past, Renjun still couldn’t forget how Jeno drunkenly admitted how crazy he was going to be over you and your coldness whilst sobering up in the dorm.

He didn’t understand one bit by that, especially when you’re technically dead. But by the sight of the first piece Renjun saw alive, which was Zeus, he almost passed out. Piece by piece, he viewed these artworks come to life from his fresh eyes. Right before he could’ve screamed when Athena shot a lightbulb in their exhibit, you happily called out Jeno’s name.

Renjun froze on the spot upon seeing your wax figure come to life. He’s browsed through this museum numerously due to the new exhibits, but lately, he checked your section out to find any tiny details that were linked to your life. Aside from the sketchpad, compass, and hairpins, he wanted to know if there was more to your life as an explorer.

As human interactions except the night guard weren’t allowed, Renjun needed help for his project in Women Studies. Just like Jeno’s assignment, you aided him. Fruitfully answering every question he gave you, Athena popped out of nowhere to inspect Jeno.

“I see you’re breaking another rule.”

“I’m sorry, Athena. He was desperate, and it would be selfish of me to let him fail.”

“This is the last one I’ll let slide, alright?” Athena huffed, not impressed by the reckless behavior Jeno acquired over time. She saw this coming, but for a change, she couldn’t punish him. He was a young adult, still learning more about life. Only will she step in if things turn for the worst. “I can’t believe I’ve gained a soft spot for you.”

Jeno laughed, hugging the figure like his older sister. “You love me though!”

Glad to say, Renjun aced his project and kept his word of not telling anyone about the happenings in Jeno’s job. Jeno even made a makeshift non-disclosure contract so Renjun wouldn’t spill the slightest details.

Lately, so much has been happening in the museum that having alone time with each other was rare. And when you did, the two of you made sure to maximize it and make every intimate moment count. From each touch, each longing kiss, each moan, and groan, never were you left hanging whether you’re at the Theater Room, Jeno’s office, or the Foreign Art Room.

The only time the two of you went beyond the boundaries was at the indoor garden. Jeno managed to get the key to it, lighting up some candles before you invited you inside. Thanks to the magic of the Greek gods, the cameras were bewitched to display fake imageries when security checks in the morning after.

Upon your deep conversations, you’ve mentioned once or twice about the indoor garden. It was the latest addition of the museum, opening in the early 2000s. Because it was a sacred place, no art piece was ever allowed inside.

Yet again, Jeno challenged the rules again when he invited you inside. A few minutes before, he set up some lights along the hallway of the garden, where he placed a blanket, a picnic basket, and his laptop right at the end of it. The best place to view everything, he just knew you’d love it.

He was undoubtedly right once you gasped at such a pretty sight. Seeing the silhouettes of various flowers and plants together with the night sky with all the stars sparkling, it was like you’re attending another ball with your sisters, who were looking for suitors then.

Once Jeno leisurely led you until the end, he brought out all the delicacies from the basket. One of them was this Italian savory dish of dough with toppings such as cheese and pepperoni, or pizza as they named it. The next ones were fresh strawberries and melted chocolate, followed by grape juice.

“I’d drink actual alcohol with you again, only if I didn’t get shitfaced and do my job properly.”

“Point taken. Besides, this is close enough. So pour me a drink please.”

Perhaps this was the closest to a date Jeno could ever ask you out to. With the restrictions and being constrained with time, he brainstormed all sorts of ways to bring the outside world to you. From simply letting you wander around this fascinating room, he unleashed the inner romantic in him. None of his friends would’ve thought since they never asked him about it, so he kept it to himself only. Finally, he’s satisfied with what he prepared. After eating, the two of you would watch more films before the sun rose again.

You’re just the right person for him at the moment he can act that way.

After your quiet stroll and sitting back down, Jeno surprisingly handed you a tiny box.

“A gift?”

“Open it.” He sipped on his juice, paying attention to your actions. Gently untying the box, the amazement in your eyes couldn’t fathom such a lovely present. No words were required to verify that Jeno outdid himself again, just your facial expression alone is enough.

When Jeno said that he pays attention to the tiny details, he doesn’t bluff. Throughout your growing relationship, you’ve cited how you wanted another special flower in your life. Just because you couldn’t view lavender roses the same way ever again, it didn’t mean you wanted to kick them out of your life. Flowers were one of nature’s beautiful creations, so you’re wishing to find the love you once had for lavender roses in other ones.

Thus, you came across what you thought held the highest form of meaning: red roses. Despite its thorns, it’s still a marvelous flower. Innocently, you told him that just because of the memory of your father giving them to your mother on her birthday yearly.

Red roses represented true love and romance, a discreet message only those eager would know.

Jeno was one of them, which was why he reserved this gift for this very moment. It was a necklace he found through a college fair recently, a subtle red rose pendant in the center. Since he couldn’t give you huge gifts, he settled for something light. Something none of the guards or the director wouldn’t pinpoint out when they do their inspections.

“Do you like it?”

Not one utter from your mouth since you’re so hypnotized, your lips quirked up in a charming smile. “Is that even a question? This is astonishing, Jeno.”

After you attempted to put it around your neck, Jeno sighed and stepped in to help you out. “Turn around, (Y/N). Let me.”

The tension gradually heightened once you held your hair up so Jeno accessibly viewed your clean neck. Clasping the lock, it took all his might to hold himself back from you. Even from behind, your silhouette was attractive to him. The lights he set up weren’t helping the slightest of what he’s thinking to do with you.

“Done.” He breathily whispered in your ear.

**

If he thought he was the only one feeling something powerful, he’d be more than wrong. The lingering sensation of his slim fingers gracing your décolletage area unhinged another kind of want, the one you’ve only imagined in your mind when you were needy and alone. It shouldn’t be a sin unless you’re with the person you’ve fallen for, right?

Facing him again, the eye contact didn’t last long when you were the first one to strike a move. Jeno kissed back right away, his hands pulling you closer by your waist. Whatever sultry music Jeno played, it gave you the perfect momentum to grind on his lap. He groaned against kisses, adding his tongue. His thumbs sensually rubbed your hipbones, one of your hands toying around with his hair while the other one balled up his shirt by the chest. None of you cared if anyone caught you.

The last time you’ve been this aggressive was at the Theater Room, which eventually increased the hidden lust you’ve had towards each other. Taking things slowly at first, it’s about time to delve in for more. The mood was already set from the start, even if Jeno didn’t plan this to happen here. But being the prepared man he is, he did have a condom in his back pocket.

Your fingers trailed from his neck until his crotch. He was hard, sensing how suffocated he must be. But he kept himself in control. Locking eye contact, you sweetly spoke.

“Grant my second wish, Jeno.” That same hand of yours held one of his, planting it in your breast. “Make love to me.”

Giving the go-signal, he crashed his lips on yours while stripping you off your dress. Carefully, he turned you around to untie your tight corset. Once it fell, your neck leaned sideways as his lips attacked it madly. Your breaths were tremulous, placing both his hands on your freed breasts to knead with. His touch felt like fire on your skin, yet you couldn’t stop.

“Jeno,” Obscene moans from your lips choked out. You desired more, shifting back to face him again to attack his lips. Slowly feeling one of his hands laying you down, you spread your legs with ease just for him. He parted after your head landed on the cushion to unbutton himself. The way your mouth dropped to selfishly stare at his bare body, flexing them before getting back into position. He was fit and toned just as Cleopatra predicted.

As much as Jeno knew how wild your thoughts were getting, he was more taken aback by your perky chest.

“Fuck, you are divine.” He sucked one nipple as his fingers ventured to slip your panties down. So much was going on, you didn’t know which stimulated you more. You tried to close your legs around his hand, but he slapped your inner thigh to stop you.

The cool breeze shivered you, especially from your core. Jeno’s fingers adventurously grazed from your hip area to your lower lips. He teasingly rubbed it up and down in your essence, his index finger settling it right at your needy clit. Another moan escaped your lips, an opportunity for Jeno to slide his tongue in your mouth. Enjoying the moment, his fingers dipped inside you. A gasp broke your kiss, making him giggle in your ear.

He knew exactly what he was doing.

“Oh, angel. The things I want to do with you.”

Sliding them back and forth, curling it even, you squirmed for more. Dropping himself to meet your core, Jeno placed your legs on his shoulder. Pushing you closer, his steamy breath felt like friction. Your hips grinded against it, so he gripped on them so you stay put.

“Angel,” He chuckled darkly, his crotch tightening at how powerless you looked. “You’re so pretty.”

You were drenched from arousal. But to Jeno, you were glowing under the lights. He wanted to take his time to admire what he had done to you. His independent girl, only weak for him.

His fingers unfolded in your lower lips, diving in to your orbit. You could hardly speak from his skilled mouth, especially his tongue savagely lapping your clit in numerous paces. You’ve only daydreamed about what it could do aside from kissing, and it exceeded your expectations. By the heated sensation that had the heels of your feet digging his back deeply, you affirmed to have seen more stars than the night sky above you.

Your back arched uncontrollably while his hands grasped your hips to stay in place, the tears in your eyes formulating while tugging on his hair. Your thighs clenched around his face, but his broad shoulders widened it to taste more of you. No use of pulling away when his grip on you was tight, so you could only cry out from the pleasure.

“Fuck!”

The ringing sounds in your off were going off, your throat drying up from moaning once another orgasm was about to hit. Once the knot in you snapped, nothing could hold back your screams of pleasure whilst panting for air. Sensitive as he licked every remaining essence he caused, he smirked as he got up to unbuckle his jeans.

Oh, boy. He got quite a package behind his boxers.

Even while you were overly sensitive, you had to grasp it in your hands. He was yours, and you were his.

The way you clenched around his protected length, pausing to readjust yourself to the feeling. The foreplay deemed helpful, though the girth of him overwhelmed you. He stretched you out so good.

“Are you okay, (Y/N)?” The stunned face you made was expected, still feeling worried that it may be too much.

Biting your lip, you moaned once everything felt bearable. “You can move, Jeno.”

None of you could track exactly how many rounds you went through. Even in the semi-public area, it didn’t hinder either of you. There’s that thrill, and surprisingly enough, you both shared the liking of it. Always switching the positions, you decided to call it quits after another sloppy round in missionary. Something seeing Jeno on top, fully submitting yourself to him, made you feel calm to be vulnerable. It’s really the trust you’ve established from the start, making you rely on humans again once you’ve let the past be.

Jeno brought out another blanket, initially meant for cuddling. It was still applicable though, curling your body into a spoon towards his racing chest. Music was no longer noise, the intimacy creeping back instead of lust this time. The afterglow of Jeno, sweaty and knackered as his legs sprawled under the sheet, was a sight for sore eyes. He’s always been handsome while on duty, but post-sex gave him an extra boost.

Plus there’s pride from the red marks courtesy of you on his chest, grazing over it softly.

Jeno chuckled softly at your smooth fingers, lifting them up to kiss them tenderly before kissing your lips again. Only humans were capable of and to love, but you’re some kind of an exception. Regardless of the magic from the plate, you’d be able to love too if it weren’t for your background.

There’s so much love Jeno wanted to offer you, even if he hasn’t said it out loud yet.

Perhaps one reason was because time was beginning to tick. Finals were a few weeks away, then the one-month long semestral break until a new semester kicks off. Time really flew by, and his bank account and heart expanded too. Enjoying the now was all he could think of doing, but those uncertainties bothered him.

The biggest would be where you and he would stand when his job ended.

Jeno was too absorbed in his internal debate, as portrayed by his eyes staring off in space and running his hand in his hair repeatedly. Something was disturbing him, and you’re concerned as to what it was.

“Jeno,” Around his arm, you tapped his chest to get him out of it. “What’s going on in your head?”

Jeno approached every obstacle he faces straightforwardly, not wanting to let him hold back. Rarely did he keep secrets, especially from you. Instead of hiding away, he voiced it out.

“(Y/N), will we work out?”

“What do you mean, Jeno?”

You’re so occupied in the present that thinking of the future was never in your field. Like him, you’re just enjoying being in the moment. Though after tonight, it’s making you wonder if there’s a future.

“Well,” He placed his hand on top of yours, affectionately observing you. “Times flies faster when you’re having fun, and well, the semester is ending.”

His last words crushed a part of your heart, remembering his initial plan. None of you expected your friendship to bloom into what it is now, but life was just full of surprises without a schedule. At the same time, none of you wouldn’t have it any other way.

It may have been a few months since you two committed to each other, but the spark was still strong. It wasn’t like a summer romance kind of feeling. Time was not a determinant of love either, which you were certain of it with Jeno. A lot more than Junmyeon.

It should’ve frightened you when you realized your love for Jeno, but it didn’t. Even if you didn’t age physically, your mindset did. You’ve learned to forgive your younger self, and through Jeno, you let your guard down completely. From that, you let love in. Platonic to your fellow art pieces, and all of the above to Jeno.

Throughout your relationship, you regained all confidence in yourself and everything you set your mind to.

“I wouldn’t want to worry too much about it if I were you.” Your body flipped to lie on your stomach, resting your head on your palm.

“Why shouldn’t I, angel?”

Gazing back at him, you left a velvety kiss on his lips to rest his thoughts. His hand wrapped your neck, deepening it. But you pulled away with a giggle, all too knowing of his secret intentions as his cock began to harden again. His eyes narrowed down and his lower lip stuck out at your attempt of being a tease.

But enough about sex, you wanted to address a point.

Lee Jeno was going to be the biggest risk you wanted to take and fight for, and no one should try to stop you.

“I’ll ask Circe for a potion. For me, for you, for us.”

If it weren’t for insistent questioning towards every art piece, who kept their mouths shut, only Circe herself banished him from his suffering. Her series of potions varied, and the one you requested years ago which you threw out was capable of turning any art piece into a living human. No potion of Circe ever failed, so you entrusted your life for the day you do drink it.

“Are you sure, angel?”

Jeno knew about that one specifically, and as great to hear that you never threw it out, he never put pressure on you. He wanted you to do whatever felt right, even if deep down, he wished you’d use it. He was only worried about how the flow of the entire museum would be disrupted.

Typical Jeno always looking out for you, but you saw right through his concern. Here you were, caressing his check as reassurance. With an honest smile,

“I’ve never been more certain with anything in my life here until you came, Lee Jeno.”

Jeno opened up more to his life outside the museum, telling all sorts of experiences not just his days as a university student. From his childhood, his family, his travels, heck you even want to meet his friends at this point!

Newly, he shared with you how the sunrise and sunset looked like in Seoul with much vivacity. It’s a luxury as a human to witness as day breaks and ends, so you could imagine by yourself how it would look like. Sure, you had drawings and all, but that was from the real (Y/N) (Y/L/N).

This version of you wanted to live more; that’s your greed now.

“You’ve never touched snow too, right?” Jeno, who had his arm wrapped around you, silently watched the first batch of snow from inside.

“Yup, that’s the thing when you’re imprisoned in this place.” You sulked by his side, earning a chuckle from him who pulled you in closer.

“Don’t tell me now that you despise this place.”

“I don’t, but it hinders me to experience new things. The whole pattern of being awake at night by a plate gets tiring, Jeno.”

All Jeno would do when you’re frustrated was placing your head on his shoulder, listening as you talk.

“I know, angel. But it won’t be long until you leave this place with me, right?”

“You know it!” You interlocked your hands with him, eyes trained at every falling snowflake.

Sometimes, moments in silence with Jeno were all you needed for the night. Being within each other’s presence, focusing or admiring something from afar, it was all the peace you’ve needed from the bustling art pieces.

This week was the last of the semester, and Jeno’s off duty for tonight to focus on his exams. You’ll see him tomorrow night, which was his last shift ever, and also yours too.

Perhaps the biggest milestone you’re committing to without any regrets.

However, it took an unnecessary conversation you accidentally eavesdropped on to rock your decision.

You needed more ink after running out mid-way of sketching the sculptures as a secret parting gift. Before you could take a single step inside your exhibit room, a series of voices were full-on arguing. Booming back and forth, you peeped your ear out whilst hiding against the door.

“Athena, how dare you did to her?! She’s done so well from moving on from it, falling in love even! And now you’re telling me this?!” The distinct voice of Princess Diana, who spoke sweetly most of the time, boomed towards the Greek god. “You’re heartless.”

“I did what I had to do for the sake of this place, Diana!” Athena raised her voice, the lightning in her hands holding back from lashing out. She hated it when anyone argued with her, especially when she does things according to what she believed was necessary. Out of everyone, she had more leadership. “She had to know that her place is here as a wax figure, not outside. Talking Junmyeon out of it was for the best, plus it’s ideal when he drank the potion of memory loss from Circe.”

“But it tore her apart when he left her, and it’s going to tear her again if you do the same with Jeno.”

“How else are you going to approach the situation then, Diana? Those two have broken the highest golden rule, so they need to wake up.”

Right when she celebrated within herself for healing, hearing the unbearable revelation behind the past devastated you. This whole time, she internally blamed herself for being ageless and lashed out at others. The scary past barged back in, and you couldn’t handle it anymore.

Somewhere in the corner, you wept without a trace. You could care less about Athena’s opinions, but you found yourself agreeing to some of her words. You had a role to fulfill, and leaving that behind would be selfish and it could make the museum go topsy-turvy. As painful for Junmyeon to leave you, it was because the truth hurts. Nothing could change it, even if Circe could be your solution because it’ll leave a lot of questions. You didn’t want Jeno to be seen as a suspect.

Oh, Jeno.

There’s nothing wrong with falling in love either, you didn’t intend it to happen. But it becomes unfair when it compromises with your purpose, and that’s not how you are. You’ll always remember Jeno as your biggest risk, though it’s time to end things. Treacherous as it was to accept for you, risk-takers have boundaries too.

Fast forward, on the night of Jeno’s last shift, you’ve cherished every second with him. Playing around, chatting with other art pieces, kissing in private, you made it count. Before dawn broke, that’s where you chose to come clean by the garden, your sacred place. Not even your self-reassurance could prepare you to witness the hurt and confusion Jeno felt.

“You’re a mortal, and you still get to choose your path. Mine is already predetermined here as a wax copy of a historical figure.” You advised as you held both his hands, your voice shaking at the reality.

A few days ago, you were beaming with exhilaration at a new journey but now you’ve permanently backed out. Jeno couldn’t comprehend, and as much as he tried, he couldn’t. A life without you by his side would be empty and dull. “Even so, there are things about you that the original person didn’t have.”

Arguing with him wasn’t your favorite, and it’ll leave the two of you in a bad mood. But there is no way to negotiate this; you’ve already made up your mind. “We must end this, Jeno. You need someone who can grow old with you, and I can’t be that person for you.”

“But we can make it work!” His hands gripped on your slumped shoulders, whilst your face avoiding his to spare yourself from the heartache. “There’s still Circe.”

“I know, but recently, I found out that she’s an indirect cause of my misery.” Pulling away from his touch, you belted with frustration. “I cannot do this anymore, Jeno.”

You’ve always fought for whatever you wanted in life, and Jeno knew he was one of them if it weren’t for you telling him that. So he did the same, thinking of ways to make you feel whole. Now, he couldn’t tolerate the sudden crumbling of his heart from your outburst, and all he wanted to know was why you felt this way. How could he help you?

You don’t keep secrets from Jeno, but the truth behind your harsh actions cannot be revealed for the sake of the museum. Plus, you didn’t want him to despise this place he admired. Causing him pain wasn’t on your list, but keeping him safe was. It may be shown differently and he may not understand it now, but over time, he will.

“Jeno, you’ll find someone better out there. Someone with their whole life ahead of them, who’ll love you for everything that makes you who you are.” Repetitive punches in your guts urged you to barf at your half-lie, but you held it in.

“Why are you pushing me away? What happened to taking risks, (Y/N)?” Jeno interrogated, taking your hands in his hands again. They unconventionally quivered, like his lips. Jeno has never cried in front of anyone, not even when he was younger. Though for you, he just might. “Am I not worth it for you?”

Dear heavens, he was wrong. You internally screamed that, but you can’t let your selfishness seize the night. As Athena said, you had to wake up from your dream. “Committing to you was my biggest risk of them all, Jeno. Everything else that went along with it, I don’t regret it one bit. But time’s really up for us, and we must resume our normal duties.”

“I can’t lose you, (Y/N).”

“You never will, Jeno.”

He crouched lower to meet your height, his finger moving your head so you’d look at him back. Weakly enough, you did. “I want you to be a part of my normal life, angel.”

“I’ll always be here, you know. I’ll be standing in my usual spot upstairs, and you can drop by whenever you can.” You pressed your lips, lifting your head to avoid incoming tears. Meanwhile, he began shedding a few. You’ve hurt him big time, and you’ll never forgive yourself for this. “I still have one wish, right?”

Jeno’s sorrow was beyond his capacity, leaning his forehead against yours to kiss it. No matter what he could say or do, he already knew it won’t be effective. You’re affirmative in your choices, yet he still wanted to challenge it. All he wanted to know was why you’re doing this.

“Let me walk you one last time to your section.”

The black night sky had remnants of blue, motioning that dawn was approaching. Other figures gave their goodbyes to Jeno earlier, cleaning up their areas before they pose. Though none of them anticipated such a cold atmosphere between you two, they could only spy on what was bound to happen.

“My last wish is for you to let me go, Jeno.” You avowed, blinking your eyes with faux positivity. Your hands patted his blazer so it wouldn’t crease. “I already have a role to fulfill here, and you’re on the way to yours, future architect.”

“I love you, (Y/N) (Y/L/N).” Only tonight did he muster his courage to finally admit it to you after giving himself more time to analyze it. Timing was always crucial, and the badness of it showed.

Deep in your heart, you resonated the feeling. But it’ll make things more complicated, and it was the final thing you’ve wanted to occur. Someone had to be the strong one, and now, it should be you. With one more compassionate kiss on his lips, you stepped inside your section and readied your position.

“Goodbye, Lee Jeno.”

The sunshine brightened the room, and you’ve frozen to slumber again.

All Jeno could do was drop on his knees, sobbing over your rash actions. Unknown to him, a single tear left your eye as you posed.

Regardless of what status you were in, the pain of it all remained.

Jeno spent most of his semestral break with his friends to travel or whatnot, trying to forget it all. Even if he aced all his finals, his efforts felt like nothing if he never had you by his side to celebrate.

The sting over his short-lived romance with you never diminished the slightest, no one whom he could express his pain about it to especially when Renjun drank the memory wipe potion that Athena initially left for Jeno by his desk.

Forget it all, and live a peaceful life. You have so much potential, my mentee.

- Athena

Perhaps this was the same thing Junmyeon drank all those years ago, but unlike him, he didn’t have the guts to. He still wanted another chance.

So every day since the new semester began, he spent every afternoon break at your section. He’ll be seated by the bench, doing his assignments and talking about his day while sometimes stealing a glance of your figure. Some habits don’t change.

He never got sick of the same smile you exemplified, falling even more for you. He’ll often wonder what you’ve been up to.

What are your new sketches?

Are you taking care of Mochi well?

Have you apologized to Sanghoon yet?

Speaking of him, he surprisingly scooted over to Jeno’s side. This was the first time Jeno met the man, and politely enough greeted him. Sanghoon interviewed the boy, asking all sorts of questions that Jeno had every answer to. The biggest change that Sanghoon noticed since he left was your personality. You no longer bite, but treat everyone kindly without bias. You’re always active to help him out in cleaning the lobby, and you don’t go easily defensive.

Once he found out that Jeno was the reason for that, he was overjoyed at the start and wanted to meet him some way. You were a tough cookie, but now you relaxed. That was all that mattered to him, hoping to know more about him from you. That was until Diana stepped in and told him everything that happened. Mostly, the bad.

Playfulness eventually bore love. The last time you fell in love was in the 80s and Junmyeon pushed you away, he recalled. This time, you’re pushing Jeno away because you simply agreed with Athena’s points.

This wasn’t right, but it wasn’t his place to interfere.

But then again, he finally caught Jeno for the first time today and this time, he was open to hearing his side of the story. Lessen his misery too.

“No matter how stubborn she is, she loves you.” He advised him, bringing out one of your full sketchbooks. As Jeno opened it, the majority of the portraits were him. Sleeping, smiling, laughing, you drew him from every minor detail you could spot like the mole near his eye and his crescent eyes.

A handsome face I would never get sick until the end of time. Someone I want to wake up to every day in the morning if it weren’t for that plate.

- (Y/N)

Towards the end, a sketch of a house unfolded. The interior was a fusion of modernity and old royal design due to its white walls, wide space, and the placing of less furniture, plus an open backyard. There’s another tiny comment on the side from you.

I was right. Joining our varying designs together is pretty. Maybe Jeno and I could live in a house like this one day.

- (Y/N)

If you loved him so much, why did you let him go then when you had all these plans with him? Even if he tried to understand, he just didn’t.

“Don’t give up just yet when she told you to.”

“Are you just saying this or something?”

“Well, Princess Diana passed this message on but after everything, I believe that she’s right.” Sanghoon gave his opinion, but Jeno was reluctant to accept it.

“I never got a proper explanation why she suddenly changed her mind, Sanghoon.” He ranted, raking his hand through his hair from puzzlement. “Did I do something wrong?”

Sanghoon pitied him, having the upper hand and questioning himself whether to reveal the truth. However, since this boy took the job, he’s succumbed to secrecy. Without any transparency, it could drive someone mad. He’s too young for that, so Sanghoon breathed in defeat and placed his hand on Jeno’s shoulder.

“Promise me you won’t be mad when I tell you because I was when I found out; almost screamed even.”

Jeno nodded, listening to whatever Sanghoon had to say.

Of all people, he never would’ve expected Athena to do such a brash thing. Someone he respected and trusted, only to betray him by doing something she believed was good for all. Except it wasn’t, and it ended up hurting you all these years. The woman he loved, now he’s a clearer understanding of why you did what you did. Yet, it can’t fix his excruciation.

Heartbroken was an understatement; he had no one to rely on. With Sanghoon, he finally had a proper breakdown. The older man could only comfort his quietly, picturing him like one of his sons going through a hard time in school. But if it involves the heart, it’ll take more time to recover.

“You’re always the one adjusting, Jeno. But I think this time, you’re the one who needs space.”

A Year and a Half Later

“Jeno Lee!!!” Jaemin roughly wallowed his best friend in a hug when he arrived in their dorm room for the first time in a long time. “You dyed your hair blonde again!”

Renjun, who was behind the two of them, only rolled his eyes as he helped carry Jeno’s bags. “God damn it, Jaemin! You’re supposed to be helping me first!”

“I know, but give me a few seconds! I’m just happy our group is back together!”

Jeno laughed at his friends’ annoying yet silly dynamics, giddy to be back home. For a year, Jeno spent his 3rd year of university in Rome, Italy after one of his professors brought up to him about a scholarship program there for his course. At the time where he needed a change of scenery, he sent his application form and got interviewed.

Acing it, he had the opportunity to fly across the world to study and travel. His English skills surely improved, even picking up Italian words along the way due to a required class for it. He studied the history of different locations and how they were built.

He also went on field trips almost every day if it weren’t for the Italian students assigned to tour him around, academic and non-academic. Nights he spent on drinking wine on the rooftop of his dorm with them, screaming his complaints in the world with them.

It didn’t hit him that his stay was reaching its end until he submitted his final plate. His goodbye party didn’t even feel like one, but a see you later in the next few years after he becomes a licensed architect with money. His goal of it felt more realistic, motivating him to excel in his remaining years in university.

After unpacking half of his things, he was reminded of an email from one of the head professors, who requested another copy of his confidential documents from the Italian university he went to as soon as he’s back on campus.

He raced to the department with a folder of them and luckily encountered the said professor. Handing it to him, this professor questioned how he was and what experiences he gained from the trip. With excitement, Jeno spoke all sorts of tales from his adventures, highlighting how determined he was now to be an architect.

“That’s great to hear, Jeno!” He celebrated, checking on his watch, and widened his eyes. Frantic at his colliding schedules, he asked Jeno for a favor. It turned out that at the same time as his emergency meeting, he’s supposed to tour the new transferee student around campus.

“Only if you have time, Jeno! I could always ask another student, plus you just came back and need rest.”

“It’s not like I left for a decade, sir. No worries, I’ll do it.”

“Oh, bless your soul.” He put his hands together in prayer position, bowing back and forth with gratitude. “Wait, she’s right outside! Go ahead and introduce yourself.”

Jeno nodded, exiting right through the department doors. This girl had her back turned, inspecting her surroundings. She wore a black and white tweed blazer that matched with her skirt, black high heeled boots, and a black handbag. She must be a foreigner, Jeno thought.

“Excuse me, are you the transferee in the department of Architecture?”

Jeno didn’t brace himself for the surprise he’d face once this girl reacted to him calling her out. Her face was one he could never forget, no matter how many times he told himself to. The same face he convinced his heart to stop beating for, yet it lied.

This radiant face was none other than yours.

Jeno almost dropped his phone. He tried his best to hold on to your promise, but he failed. It was the main reason he studied abroad; to forget and focus on his career path. So the least thing he could’ve done was to study hard for his dream career.

Just a glimpse of you projected back every single memory you’ve had together. Beautiful yet heart-wrenching, he kept his emotions to himself.

You even wore the rose necklace he got you. Could it be?

“It’s been a while, Lee Jeno.” You took the metaphorical scissors to cut the tension, trying to contain the crushing feelings. The faculty center was a public place, yet it’s like the two of you were on the main stage.

“Do you remember me?” Astounded, you nodded. Every single detail.

Jeno could’ve ran away, but didn’t. He could’ve left you hanging, but didn’t. He can no longer count how many times you’ve appeared in his dreams, only to be disappointed when morning comes to not have you in his arms. He took one step closer, taking his time.

“How do you know me?”

“You’re the boy whom I helped with his assignment, argued with me over Romeo and Juliet,” You mimicked his move, making you one step nearer to him. “And most of all, the boy I once gave my entire heart to.”

Another step, leaving a few inches between the two of you. His heart palpitated without caffeine. What if he was napping in his dorm again? It was all surreal. “Is it really you, (Y/N)?”

Hearing your name from his lips lowered your guard, you pleased him with a hopeful grin. “I’d be dust by now if I didn’t drink Circe’s potion, right?”

That’s where Jeno unchained himself from his emotions. He engulfed in a warm hug, one that has no plans to let go when his chin planted on your shoulder. You returned the gesture, dropping all your worries away along with your bag and papers as your arms snaked through his neck.

You knew you had to part ways for a while after everything, though you were unsure how he’d feel about it. You recalled every time he visited you after his job ended up until his intense chat with Sanghoon, where he bawled his heart out. You couldn’t take it anymore after trying to stay strong, crying as soon as you woke up that night.

All your fellow figures could do was soothe you down like before to the best of their abilities, yet this time, it was unsuccessful. You’re filled with misery, realizing later how much of a big mistake you’ve made.

You’ve isolated yourself again for a while, but less rudeness and more silence. It was until Circe visited you. She doesn’t like getting involved with drama, though now was different. She, alongside Hera and Aphrodite, couldn’t withstand you tolerating the heartbreak again. So they went behind Athena’s back on this one time and created a potion together just for you. But with a compromise.

“This potion can turn you into a human. However, there’s only a 10% chance you’ll regain all your memories from this place.”

“So I’ll forget everyone and him?”

“Yes, unfortunately.” You’re about to shoo her away, not in the mood to do something drastic as that. But Circe grabbed your arm again. “I strongly believe that if you and he meant to be, then there will come a time these past memories will suddenly surge at you.”

“Must I need to forget to live properly?”

You’re stubborn, and Circe expected it. “You’ve broken so many golden rules, (Y/N), so it must be done. I’ve gone against Athena for this potion, and rarely have I done that. So rather than wallowing up in misery, you should focus on yourself. Do what makes you happy because this place is trapping you from every great thing out there.”

Those were the word that the actual (Y/N) (Y/L/N) lived by, nevertheless, you’re unique from her. You built a separate identity from her. “But Jeno-”

“At the right time, (Y/N). Pull yourself together and do all the things you’ve dreamt of before he came into the picture. I just know he loves you that much, and that he will wait for you.”

That same night, you gathered all your senses and drank it. The transition was fast as lightning speed, and behold, you were like a new person. You’re back in London, with a family that closely resembled your former one; only 3 older siblings, making you the youngest. You also had a new set of memories, from childhood until your adult years.

From (Y/N) (Y/L/N), you became (Y/N) Edwards.

It took one drunken night out with your university friends for the unlikely surge of old memories to speedily hit through your intoxicated state. Way beyond a dream, you’ve dropped your shot glass and broke down in the bathroom of your dorm room. You left something unaccomplished, and you had to do something before it’s too late.

Thus, you rushed to Seoul thanks to your parents’ support as they agreed that exploring outside your home country was a great experience. The only excuse you gave to your friends for the sudden transfer was you finding a new calling.

Sure, studying abroad was an exciting thing but you’re more determined to reunite with him. Even if this encounter was unforeseen, it was bound to happen one day. It so turned out that you had the same major in your former university and this new one.

Head to toe, you remembered everything.

“I’m so sorry I took so long.” You cradled your head on his chest, unaware of how your new life left Jeno so troubled.

“That doesn’t matter anymore.” Jeno tightened his grip, scared of releasing you again. Those two years felt like a breath of fresh air and a punch in the gut. “I tried to live up to your last wish, but I really can’t.”

“I want to take that wish back, Jeno. I wasn’t thinking right and only ended putting you through so much.”

“Oh, angel. I slowly understood why you did it.” Before he got too fragile, he softened his grip on you and showed his face again to you. He wanted a better look at his pretty girl, his fingers brushing strands of your hair behind your ear. Heart-fluttering, you bit your bottom lip. “What would you want to wish for instead?”

“Instead of you letting me go, I wish you could take me back and love me again. I can’t undo the past, but I’d still like to think I’ve tried my best.” That was the only wish you could ever think of. As huge as it was, it was something he may not accept. Yet you gave it a go, risking it all. “I don’t deserve you at all, Jeno.”

“Don’t say that, (Y/N).” One of his hands grabbed yours, putting it on his cheek. Cupping it, “I’ve never stopped loving you, you know.”

Oh, love. An all-too familiar emotion that either makes or breaks you. Of all the times you could’ve said those words, you held back, especially that wretched night you two broke it off. Although you showed it, being able to say it to someone felt more empowering.

This was finally the chance you’ve unconsciously waited for.

“I’m stupid for not saying this sooner.”

“What is it?”

With intimate eye contact, you drowned in the comfort of his brown orbs. You trusted him then, and you trusted him now. “I love you, Lee Jeno.”

Secretly, Jeno anticipated for the day you’d say those meaningful 3 words. Just like you, he showed more affection through actions than words. He only admitted when he lost you, and never would he do the same mistake again. If he felt that the love was strongly present, he will say it aloud.

“I love you still, (Y/N).” His arm around your waist tugged you in further. “I loved you as (Y/N) (Y/L/N) and I will continue to love you as (Y/N) Edwards.”

He peeked on your ID earlier, but regardless, he stood by his truth. You’re still the same (Y/N).

Finally, he closed the limited space between your lips. The memories of your past romance replayed in sync of every touching kiss, popping one leg up like in the movies. The Princess Diaries, specifically. Like in the museum from your unbearable parting, one warm tear freed itself down your cheek.

The sweetness of being reunited with you again beat the torturous wait of Jeno. Time really made your hearts grow fonder. As everyone said, if the love between two people is real, then it’ll find its way back to each other.

The world must be on your side too because no professor called you two out on your public display of affection. Jeno pecked your lips one time before stepping away, picking up the things you dropped.

“Now come on, I have to tour you around as instructed.”

You stomped on your feet, rolling your eyes from being left hanging. He’s still the same tease from before. “After that kiss though, I would’ve thought we could reschedule it.”

“No can do, Edwards.” Passing over your things, he wrapped one arm around you as he escorted you out of the building. The university was huge, with more buildings and green fields surrounded everywhere. “Left or right? There are a lot of places you missed out on all those years.”

“Point taken. Then you lead the way, my love.”

[perditaalottachocolate-blog]

When You Are Ready

Summary: Years after the events of the akuma Truth Luka gets a visit from an old friend he hadn’t seen in years. And they’re finally ready to tell him the truth. Inspired by S4E01 episode “Truth”.

***SPOILER WARNING***

The story below contains spoilers to the ML episode "Truth". If you haven't watched, read at your own risk.

This is for all the heartbroken Lukanette stans out there.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

‘Great playin’ with you tonight, son,’ Jagged stuck his head inside Luka’s dressing room. For some reason his smile was wider than usual. 

‘Thanks, J,’ Luka nodded. Even after they managed to mend the 16 year gap in their relationship, he couldn’t bring himself to call the rockman “dad”. ‘You too.’

Jagged’s head remained at the door. 

‘You wanted something, old man?’ Luka asked. They’d been performing together for a few years already, but it wasn’t like Jagged to randomly pay him a visit after a concert.

Jagged gasped in mock offence. ‘I’m not that old, mind you. Still can kick your ass on the lead guitar, rookie,’ he waved a warning finger. ‘I’m heading out, just dropped to tell you there’s someone waiting for you at the back. I let her in because it’s raining cats and dogs outside.’

“Her”?

Plenty of fans loitered around after their concerts, but the security kept them in check. Who could make Jagged invite them inside despite their security policy?

‘Who is she?’

Jagged’s grin got positively sly. ‘An old friend, that’s all I’m sayin’. Just remember to show up to rehearsal tomorrow.’ He winked and shot the young man with a finger gun.

That was weird, even for Jagged. Luka quickly gathered his things, secured his guitar and left the dressing room. The corridor was dark and quiet, with most of the crew already gone, but Luka thought there was something strangely familiar in the air, like a memory of a forgotten song that suddenly slipped into his mind. He made a few tentative steps and turned the corner.

Indeed, there was a woman at the back door, leaning against the wall and fidgeting nervously. She turned a small package in her hands and tapped her foot, as if trying to gather courage. He recognized her song in an instant.

‘Marinette?’ Luka rasped, suddenly breathless.

She turned her infinitely blue eyes to him. She was even more beautiful than he remembered. When was the last time he saw her? At Juleka’s graduation? Maybe a few times after that? 

Her life was already a whirlwind when he had met her, and little had changed in the following years. She was always so busy, always in a hurry. Her song became more frantic, burdened with fear and guilt. Luka couldn’t take it. And so days of silence turned into weeks, then months and years. Despite their best efforts they drifted apart and even her occasional commissions for Jagged never served as an opportunity to meet or catch up. He got on with his life, even if Marinette always held a special place in his heart. 

‘Hi!’ She smiled hesitantly, brushing a stray curl of her hair behind her ear.

‘Oh my gosh, hi!’ Luka dropped his bag and hugged her tight. At first she went stiff in his arms, but it only took a moment for her to relax and reciprocate the embrace. 

‘It’s so good to see you,’ he said, letting her go. ‘How are you?’

It really was good to see her, although his heart stuttered in her presence. He wanted to ask an entirely different question. Why was she here? Why did she come to see him after years of keeping quiet? 

‘I’m okay, you know, just doing my thing,’ she shrugged. That obviously wasn’t how she wanted this conversation to go either.

‘So what brings you here? Still a fan of Jagged?’ He risked.

‘Yeah, yours as well, but- ‘ she paused and took a deep breath, ‘that’s not why I’m here. I’m- ugh, why is this so hard?’ she muttered under her breath.

Luka put his hands on her shoulders. ‘Easy, Marinette,’ he whispered, ‘remember you can tell me everything, always,’ he assured.  

She closed her eyes. ‘This was a stupid idea. I just-’

He waited patiently, feeling her shiver under his touch. Her song became erratic, panicked even. This was so unlike Marinette, he started to worry.

‘You said- that evening by the Seine you said, “when you’re ready”,’ she spoke quietly.

He could barely hear her, but still her words made him come back to that heartbreaking moment by the bridge, when she ended things between them even before they really began. He never found out why, never understood, but also never questioned her decision. 

‘It’s been 10 years,’ he said, more to himself and his memory. 

‘Yeah…’

‘So many things happened in those 10 years,’ he mused.

‘Mhmmm…’ Marinette murmured. ‘Your solo album came out. You were on tour with Jagged. We graduated, went to university.’

‘Hawkmoth was defeated.’

‘Only recently,’ she reminded him. ‘But yeah.’

Silence fell over them. Luka still couldn’t make anything out of her presence and her reason to come.

‘You said: “when you’re ready, I’ll be here for you”,’ she repeated, louder now, more determined, as if she finally found her courage. ‘Are you?’

‘If you’re asking, if I have been in a relationship since we were teens, Marinette,’ he replied carefully picking his words, ‘then yes - I’ve been in a few, actually.’ 

But she must have known that, he’d always been honest, not only with her, but with everyone. He never hid. Not after his akumatizations. He’d learned from his parents’ and his own mistakes. 

Marinette hunched. Before she turned her face away from him he glimpsed a tear in her eye. She bit her lip.

But none of them could ever compare to you, he wanted to say. The song of her heart has changed, matured, but it was no less fascinating. If anything, he found it even more captivating than when she’d been 14. 

However, at least one thing about him hadn’t changed either. 

‘I’m a simple, honest guy, Marinette,’ he said. ‘My heart doesn’t handle rejection well, neither dishonesty. Without the truth-’ he drifted off, letting her come to the conclusion on her own. He wasn’t that cruel to say it out loud.

‘I remember what you said and I remember what I’ve done, what I’ve been like,’ Marinette was calm now, but there was strange gravity in her tone. ‘I wouldn’t have come here, if - like you’d said - I wasn’t ready. Here,’ the box she’d been playing with appeared in front of his face. ‘Open it, when you’re alone. Then you’ll understand.’

‘Understand what?’

‘Me,’ she said quietly, turning to leave.

‘What about Adrien?’ Luka remembered that thorn as well.

Marinette halted with her hand on the doorknob. ‘That’s a long story.’

‘Believe me, I know,’ Luka chuckled humorlessly.

‘Adrien’s still a big part of my life, but we’re not a couple,’ Marinette said in a colorless voice.

‘Just friends?’ He couldn’t help himself.

‘Hah,’ she snorted. ‘Best friends. But just friends.’

‘Really?’

‘Yeah. Adrien has some stuff he needs to deal with and I- I finally know what I want and what I need,’ she turned and shot him a meaningful look. Then she left.

Luka stayed in the darkness for a while, mulling over the revelations of the past few minutes. Marinette had always cared for the truth, he knew that well. But there was a new sincerity to her today, laced with quiet determination, that shook him to his core. He wished he could comprehend that mystery.

Then his eyes fell on the little gift box and her words came back to him. “Open it. Then you’ll understand.”

Luka braced himself and slowly, carefully raised the lid. 

Oh.

Inside, on blue silk lay a single guitar pick. It was red with a pattern of black dots. 

Oh.

Finally the missing piece of the puzzle clicked into place. The part of the melody that’s been eluding him from the start, just out of his reach, but right under his nose. He smiled to himself as his fingers closed over the pick. And for the first time in years his heart skipped a beat.

[greekbros]

"greek-Bros Headcanon: The Big 6"

Zeus:

-Pretty much everything about him is pretty standard, including him being your regular man. Flaws and all. Oddly enough he isn't that truly complicated as an individual, after all, all mankind IS mostly modeled after him and few other gods.

-As he and the others were assigned their devine positions, he started taking up attributes of the sky and his own consignated animal the eagle, like feathers instead of hair, incredible eyesight and a tendency to create electricity with excessive movement or emotional outbursts. He's towering and under his more comfortable toga he's fucking BUILT.

-He's a rather decent father by ancient Greek standards, yes almost everything he has done according to mortal men have happened. Of course his own children weren't going to argue against him. However, he always has his offspring and so on in mind. He tries to interact with his children in meaningful ways as much as he can or want, regardless he isn't a forgetful man....just a 'busy' one.

-In spite of his powerful and stern demeanor, he is always constantly at odds with his own inner demons. He's ALWAYS questioning his past actions, he laments his terrible and questionable decision he had ever impulsively but he does take up the traditional mantle of "masculine density" and rarely shows his emotions. When he does show his emotions, it's either heartbreaking or a loud storm targeting said source of destress.

-He deeply loves Hera in every sense of the word, but he has "such a big heart he can't just keep it to himself", quote Zeus. Regardless, he still acts on his impulses and is the root of all his problems. Legend has it, his very essence accidentally created King Henry the 8th and many other historical heartbreakers.

-In spite of making up many of the rules of humanity (with extra help of the rest of his siblings), human mortals have always had a terrible habit of breaking these rules. Zeus has made so.many of these rules that he's just stop keeping up with keeping mortals in place. He just kind of let's things happen. At this point of his existence, his only concern now is to make sure other gods are following their rules.

-He HATES child sacrifices. Mostly because when a living thing gets sacrificed it comes in flesh and blood directly to the land of the gods. So naturally, there is a complete population of "ascended" mortals and animals in Olypmus....and he already has his hands full. Plus he just doesn't like the principal of it all. He genuinely hates children getting hurt in the first place.

-HIS list of enemies is a kilometer long. It includes everything that's a titan, some of his own children (and grandchildren), Hera to a very small extent and Hades.....even though there has been literally NOTHING that has proven Hades is a threat to him.

-The main reason why Zeus adamantly believes that Hades is out to get him is because of HOW he assigned Hades to be god of the underworld..... basically, he asked Hades to check a dark cave.....and closed the cave entrence while he and Poseidon ran off. Hades ironically doesn't care about this and has no real intensions of taking revenge on Zeus for anything, the fact Zeus haphazardly gave him a wife and lives in constant paranoia gives him solence.

-He is extremely defensive of Hermes and Dionysus. Inspite of his claim of loving all his offspring equally, he feels a deeper connection to Hermes considering that he was to be considered the "prodigal usurper" before Dionysus, meanwhile Dionysus is his youngest son with the most responsibility for a god so naturally he's going to keep a closer eye on both just a little bit more. In terms of familiar respect, Athena and Apollo are tied as his most "important" children.

-After Athena's birth, Zeus's mental fortitude, better judgement and intellectual integrity has completely been capped. He constantly has headaches, tends to make terrible decisions, tends to be forgetful, and goes through terrible flashbacks to anything that can come to mind. He still loves and respects his daughter but he has to admit her very presence gives his a headache. It's rumored that his brain is 2/5ths of what it use to be.

-He has no control over Hera and never will. After several take overs, a very nasty scroll call from Nyx for threatening to harm Hypnos, and having several lovers killed by her, he's completely decided that fighting her or arguing with her. He would still end all.of existence for her.

-The only entities he truly fears is Nyx, Gaia and Aphrodite. Nyx being a more intimidating foe of his, Gaia being his own grandmother and Aphrodite being a she-titan who for reason decided it was cash-money as fuck to just take residence in Olypmus.....that....and a good small chunk of his afairs were caused by her and her son Eros.

-He STILL has no idea how Heracles inherited his THICCNESS. He may consider himself thicc but Heracles couldn't have gotten from him.

-He adores all his followers and considers them worthy of answering their prayers.... Except for one. Lycaon.

-He loves giving Hera pet names but due to her burning anger towards him, she won't let him....even though she loves the pet names he gives her.

-He has many professional relationships and alliances with other gods. However he has had a long on-going distrust of the Sumerian gods. He just finds them to be a little too private in comparison to the rest of his fellow gods. That and he's actually jealous of their near perfect beards. His beard tends to sprout stray down feathers.

Hera:

-She was assigned to be the goddess of marriage and the household, however, she has assigned herself as the goddess of the mind, heart and soul. Because as it turns out, she causes more boughts of madness more than Eris and Dionysus combined. She also controls female intuition and matters of personal strength. She's the force that helps feel when something isn't right or when you feel like you need to do something important wether being benign or malignant. She basically IS your emotional support mom/aunt, but she controls you and your emotions. However she actually uses this ability in moderation.

-She is considered as "Step-Mom" by most of Zeus's out of wedlock offspring. She's always extremely shrewed, vindictive and most of the time outright nasty....but that's about it. She will attempt to get you once or twice but if she senses that it could be a massive waste of her time than she'll just make your life a smig shittier. However, she not an "evil" step mom, more of a step mom who has to get use to her step-children, it will take some work for both parties but deep down she's just angry at Zeus.

-She hates Zeus's children, but she isn't heartless, quite the opposite, children are children in her mind regardless if it's hers or not. She'll make it hard for you but if you ask her for help or ask her in the right manner, she will be delighted to help.

-She is your quintessential woman, she loves jewels, the finer things in life, small animals (especially birds) and she can be either the sweetest or the meanest. After all, like Zeus who created MAN, she created WOMAN. Legend has it she actually let the rest of the gods collaborate as a way to make them feel better. Or at least that's how she puts it, turns out Hermes and Aphrodite made a deal to make more like "them" than Hera intended. While MAN was built pretty close to Zeus's intended design, WOMAN was designed with Aphrodite's beauty and tender nature, while Hermes gave "a dirty mind" much like how MAN were given. Basically WOMAN and MAN are completely equal in everyway regardless of "differences".

-Shes also adopted some inhuman attributes, she grows feathers on some portions of her hair, she feels insecure about them but Zeus adores this because it reminds him that's birds mate for life. Her feathers look more like feathers of a peahen and seamlessly blends with her hair.

-Her ONLY desire is for Zeus to stop cheating on her. She literally wants nothing more. That, and for Dionysus and Apollo to stop steal her dresses for their own endeavors.

-She loves her biological children and their offspring but somehow they keep disappointing her. Ares loves a woman who cheats on Hephaestus and Hebe is in love with the son of the woman who Zeus cheated with. She believes it's karma but at the same time she couldn't be less surprised.

-She loves Hephaestus, but due to his limped leg and his more rugged appearance, she barely tolerates looking at him. Which is strange because Hephaestus heavily resembles Zeus.

-She knows the truth about Erichthonius. He's also her favorite grandson. She has her eye on almost everything, she actually saw the whole drama between Athena and Hephaestus. At first she wanted to intervene but after she noticed this consummated a child and saw how Athena took initiative to take care of the child regardless of her chastity, it gained a little more respect for Athena. Being raised to be a wise young man by Athena and being Hephaestus's biological son, Erichthonius has been secretly considered the most successful grandchild to her.

-Her favorite animals are birds, Zeus as a webbing present gave her the chance to create birds. Thanks to her, the skies are filled with songs.

-She doesn't have a lot of enemies, however, Aphrodite is a big contender against her. While Hera controls the integrity of women, Aphrodite controls their emotional and sexual impulses. So Hera is at constent odd against her...that...and the main reason why Hera married her off to Hephaestus because she wanted to make amends to him....not make his life anymore worse than it already is.

-Hera is aware how most of Zeus's children feel about her, but she appreciates it dearly when one of them does something nice for her....even though she probably demanded it or care for it.

Poseidon and Amphitrite:

-Hes absolutly BOMBASTIC. He's the most carefree of his brothers, most physically fit and considered the most handsome.

-His marriage is ironically WORSE than Zeus's, but he and Amphitrite consensually agreed to pretend nothing is wrong.... apparently it works like a charm and they barely fight. However this is considered a massively concerning situation to Zeus and Hera because the both of them know that a relationship that doesn't regularly express their grievances...often end sour.

-Like his siblings, he's adopted physical attributes that correspond to their environment. Apparently, he has grown gills, his 'beard' is actually octopus tentacles and he has scales in certain places. He can shapeshift into many aquatic creatures.

-Unlike his brothers, his offspring are genetic tossups. One can look relatively ok, another can be a cyclops for no reason. His most famous child is Triton, but the poor lad is a rather simple and humble young mad who has very little aspersions in life. Poseidon tries to encourage him to do something productive but Triton just sort of falls below average in popularity.

- He's the best horseman in all of Greece, in fact his love for horses only rivals his love for literally trying to destroy humanity and his wife.

-He has a love/hate relationship with his nephews. However if you would ask him which nephew he dislikes the most, it would be Dionysus. Oddly enough, Dionysus actually likes to antagonize Poseidon, mostly because he's actually more strict than his dad. It wasn't until the invention of the dolphin that made Dionysus's and Poseidon's relationship between each other a little better. Poseidon has a less innocent hatred for Athena, after losing patronship over Athens, he's sworn vengeance over her. However it's more akin to sending really annoying Facebook messages rather than epic natural disasters. Once a year, he enjoys terrorizing Athens through changing the spring water to saltwater for a few days, make all the horses aggressive and give "oddly constent" tremors.

-If it wasn't for Zeus proposing to Hera first, he would have married her instead. Even though the two had married different people, it always seemed the two had a very interesting chemistry.

- Even though there may be a serious discourse on who it's Theseus's father. The reality is Poseidon doesn't actually want to claim Theseus as his own for mysterious reasons.

-He never sent a different bull to Minos, Poseidon took the form of a bull and cursed Pasiphaë. This was the first account of a god that WASN'T Aphrodite and Eros to have caused someone to be sexually attracted by magic. This has been a family secret between the big 6 for years because if any other gods found out they could just will people's passion, the world be in a state of pure chaos. Poseidon however has an even dirtier secret, he didn't use his godly powers on Pasiphaë, instead he just found a way to get her specifically attracted to him in bull form by using an old recipe for an aphrodisiac from the sunken city of Atlantis. He doesn't tell the truth about this because he's an asshole that way. He finds it more useful to have the other gods believing he had something in reality he didn't have.

- He has a fun hobby of naming his horses the most adorable and somewhat random names, like "Peach Basket", "TootsieFoot" and ect. It ended up being a traditional way of naming race horses in racing derbies.

- He has absolutly no love for humans. He enjoys that mortals worship him and such but the fact he has an entire ocean at his and his wife's disposal, he honestly feels that he has very little need for mortal worshippers....at least this is what he originally thought until his power was contested by an ocean god named Dagon. Long story short, Poseidon no longer takes mortals for granted anymore....and likely never will.

- Poseidon is Olypmus's most prolific warden, like Hades, Poseidon has his own prisoners of war. Most of them being titans, monsters, giants and occasionally malignant gods. It's even argued that he's a much more strict jailer considering being sealed away by Poseidon is a death sentence.

-His greatest pleasure is people enjoying themselves in water in positive ways. Swimming, playing games, and gently interacting with marine animals. However his greatest distain comes from mortals misusing his ocean.

- He has a professional relationship with mostly other Greek water gods and anything related to water. He monitors the water nymphs, consoles all horse-like beasts and so on and so forth.

- She has equal control of the ocean just like her husband. In fact, she has equal control of half of everything Poseidon has. Apparently this is what helps their marriage and it almost makes up for Poseidon's eccentric behaviors.

- Not much is known about her, but based on her interactions, she's a lot more nicer and more gentle than Poseidon when it comes to leadership. She's generous, eccentrically fabulous and has the same energy of a 1920's rich hamptons housewife.

-Shes genuine friends with all of the goddesses and she rarely plays on a specific team. She's a bizzarly lucid gal who loves to lend a shoulder to cry on.

-She and only she has the semi-chaotic energy to tolerate Poseidon and his afairs.

- If Poseidon wants to do something, he would HAVE to ask Amphitrite for permission. After all it isn't "Your side, your rules", it's a partnership between a married couple.

Demeter:

- Controlling over the domain of the earth and harvest, you'll always see some type of vegetation growing on her. It mostly appears as if she fashionably placed strands of wheat grain, fruit flowers and leaves inductive of the season. She and Hestia are the only ones of the big six who don't have animal based attributes. Demeter is also the tallest of the sisters.

-Her input in important matters usually revolve around conservation, providing sustenance and extra maternal perspective. It's contestant as well that she can even be more motherly than Hera, even at her most grim demeanor.

-She is a loving and doting mother. She's the most gentle of the goddesses and yet she can be just as harsh when she needed to.

-She consideres the earth her personal garden, but she shares it with world. Her favorite activity is to create new and exciting plants with Persephone (Or Kore as she prefers to call Persephone) and spending time with her.

-She has other offspring but she doesn't make a fuss about their fathers and their lack of presence. As long as she can keep all of them safe, it's all she needs and cares about.

- Demeter can easily put everyone in Olypmus to their knees. The gods and by extension mortals all have to depend on her and her harvests. When Persephone was taken, she placed all the whole of Greece in a state of famine.

- She use to love and trust Hades, but after he had haphazardly taken Persephone away, all that changed. She keeps a serious eye on Hades since than and has a deep resentment for him and his actions. She barely acknowledges him when he's present but she's still cordial. After a few years however, her attitudes towards him mellowed seeing how Persephone looks forward to seeing Hades every winter.

- She would have married Zeus if his eyes weren't set on Hera. Like Poseidon and Hera, there has been speculation that he and Demeter would have been a better married couple considering both of their personalities would have complimented each other. But that belongs in the "stray line".

-Being the goddess of the harvest, she mostly tends to the matters of farmers and gardeners. By extension, she has an extremely healthy relationship with other vegetation gods, especially Dionysus. Whom oddly enough is treated more like an adopted son rather than a nephew.

- She adores all of her nieces and nephews equally, mostly because she sees that all of them have utilized her gifts to the world in the proper manner. She adores the Bois, because each other of them represents an important value in cultivation.

-She tends to be an anxious woman, and at worst a worrywart. However, she always tries to keep a level head when she desperately needs it.

-She loves animals just as much as she does plants. She in fact helped console in the creation of everything based on how things could tend to themselves without the intervention of the gods. Her ingenuity help give rise to what is considered the concept of the circle of life and the food chain.

-She has an amazing connection between her sisters, prior to being assigned their domains, the three of them would often play with each other and stay close to their mother Rhea. The brothers would always be rummaging around the place and would often tease their sisters.

Hestia:

- The eldest and most lackadaisical sister, she's the more tomboyish of the sisters and loves to rough house.

-She has dark hair with ember roots, the brightness of which increases with emotions. Her physical attributes is her hair always looking alive with flames and being able to increase the temperature in her body.

-Shes a stocky, jolly woman who loves to work in the kitchen whip up something special. She's mostly known for her amazing recipes and her staff of Vestals. She may not keep herself up to the standards of her sisters, but she sees beauty in herself just the way she is.

-The Vestals in her domain are sadly those who "failed to keep the sacred fire lit", that must be sacrificed to the flame. Hestia dispises this punishment, but sadly it seems rarely any of her so-called priests listen to her. Everytime when she receives a vestal, she welcomes them with open arms, a big warm hug and a heartfelt apology for thier suffering. She than mentors them in the ways of the hearth, the real ways straight from the source.

- Like Demeter, she has a massive soft spot for her nieces and nephews. Dionysus again seemingly being the common favorite due to his fun loving personality and his contributions. In a strange sense, as a gift for finally proving himself worthy of a seat in Olypmus, she gave him her own. Hephaestus is another favorite of hers. She often times invites Hephaestus to her domain to have a chat, she often feels for him and tries her best to give him his over due affections in the form of baked goods, interesting items she has been gifted through the hearth and such.

-She isn't a political person to begin with, what one does with their business is their own in her mind. So when she gets called up to converse in such matters, she either stays out of it or she determines herself if it's worth her time.

- She has a mild aversion to water. Poseidon often teases her by flicking a small splash of water, but it just peeves her a little. Mostly because water droplets just sizzle on her and it feels like a little lactic acid itch to her. If someone were to have dumped water on her, it would be feel like as if some dunked boiling water with itching powder on you. She always feels warm so she tends to """cool""" herself down with molten magma or bonfire. When she enters flames, it can depend on where it came from; underworld fire often feels like stepping into one of Costco's Freezers for a little bit and normal earthly flames feeling like a little cool breeze to her.

- She has the most communication between her and her worshippers out of any god. So I. Truth, it's actually easy to envoke her through flames and hearthing.

-She isn't just a goddess of the hearth, she's also the goddess of cooks, bakers, female blacksmiths or the wives of blacksmiths, and glassblowers. Thus she has an extremely healthy relationship with Hephaestus.

-The reason why she chose to be a virgin is actually a simple reason. While Artemis represents chasity for childhood innocence and Athena represents chasity for matters of country and country men, Hestia's chasity is all about personal choice and freedom. Why have children of her own when her vestals are basically her own children, she feels love and responsibility for each of them. The reality is she's not into men, in fact if she wanted to relinquish her chastity, she would want a loving wife. But she isn't interested in marriage or a relationship either. She's as she puts it "far too free for anyone". So in truth, she represents freedom of choice and the firing passion that comes with compassion.

Hades:

-He's what you'd expect from someone who lives most of his life in the underworld yet at the same time not. He's tall, pale, has jet black slicked hair, extremely eloquent and distinguishing. He always trails low hanging mist, seemingly gliding throughout, his eyes glow a warm yellow and speaks in a soft but booming voice. He's not as muscular as his brothers, but he is rather dashing.

-He's more akin to being a classical depiction of a gentleman vampire than a god. Due to his occupation, he's developed a very professional disposition. He greets, guides and consoles the dead. At first he might seems intimidating and even at times callous, but he has your best interests at heart and is a fair ruler. Oddly enough if it wasn't for his aesthetic and his reputation of being ruler of the underworld, he would probably be more comparable to an Arthurian ruler.

-Out of all his siblings, he's the least problematic. He keeps to himself so often that it could be YEARS before anyone would hear from him.

-He's a dedicated and simple man of business, and he takes his job very seriously with a healthy amount of exceptions.

-The "reality" of his chance encounter with Persephone was actually before her kidnapping. He met her while taking a chariot ride and had a passing conversation with her, completely unaware she was Demeter's daughter. After coming back to the underworld, his minions found a bizzare type of mold growing deep in Tartarus that consumed souls. In a panicked state, he than kidnapped Persephone in the hopes she would help the situation, she was glad to be of service and was escorted back to earth. After such a strange ordeal, the two of them kept meeting in secret until Persephone decided to stay with Hades for an extended amount of time. After consuming the food of the underworld by mistake, the story starts returns back to the original.

-He doesn't have much of an opinion on his nieces and nephews. He enjoys Hermes's equally hardworking personality and friendly disposition, he's had Apollo make occasional appearances to give Tartarus some form sunlight, he seems to tolerate Dionysus's slacker behavior but he seems have a very strange connection to Dionysus on a "spiritual" level. However he has extremely low patients for Ares. He isn't too fond of him due to the fact the Ares makes his job a lot for tenuous when wars breakout and his occasional sneaking around the underworld to bother the other chthonic gods.

-He may rule over the underworld, but he's not THEE ruler. He's sort of the equivalent to a king in comparison to Nyx, who is more of an empress. By extension, the ruling regions of the underworld organized rather similarly to a medieval monarchy. Thus creating what the Christians assume is how hell looks and functions like in The Discoverie of Witchcraft, The Book of Spirits, Pseudomonarchia Daemonum, The Lesser Key of Solomon, and Dictionnaire Infernal. Surprisingly, Tartarus actually has nothing to do with anything that the book has to offer.

- The Elysian Fields were created for two very interesting reasons, it was a gift to Persephone for her to feel more comfortable in the underworld and a safe place for those who didn't fit in purgatory or the deeper part of Tartarus. In fact Persephone rules over the fields while Hades rules over the rest.

-When he was first given Cerberus as a pup, Cerberus was dark grey covered in little black spots. As he grew older, Cerberus's fur became darker to a solid black. Ironically, Hades believed Cerberus was going to be spotted throughout his life.

-He unfortunately has no offspring of his own, but he and Persephone isn't above adopting either. Much like Hestia, Hades has a surprising amount of apprentices, apostles and proteges that all are adopted lost souls. Many of them ranging in different ages and such. Charon kept mentioning there had been a small gathering of child wraiths at the banks of the Styx. Apparently many of them being abandoned children who's parents never gave Obolus Obviously, Hades had to make an exception, obviously he wasn't going to let orphaned children fend for themselves in the banks of Styx, so....he now has many wonderful and rambunctious ghost children simply living out there time.

-He's literally the richest god. He didn't expect to accidentally inherit the Earth's worth in wealth. Apparently, there's an on going joke that Gaia gave this wealth to Hades as a form of revenge against Zeus and Poseidon. That....and Gaia actually likes Hades more.

-Zeus and Poseidon were, are and forever regretful that Hades rules the underworld basically hoarding wealth like some posh dragon. Ironically, Hades has 0 idea that he actually owns any of the wealth, that's right, he literally doesn't know anything about the precious metals, gems and such. He assumes his wealth comes from the sheer real estate and number of souls collects. If you ever found out about his incredible amount of monetary control, he probably wouldn't have any idea what to do with it.

-Hades has a professional relationship with Nyx, however, Nyx has decided he's an "adopted neighbor husband". She's extremely affectionate to him as if she was married to him. Hades however, is a dedicated husband and tries him best to make it clear that they're friendly neighbors and not by any means lovers. She doesn't care and still treats him as such. He doesn't know why but all he knows is that she is a powerful, primordial super goddess who lives in the underworld with him. Another ex-lover of Hades was Minthe, who in truth barley added anything for Hades in terms of a meaningful relationship, it was mostly just a lover's affair. After some time, Hades figured that his time was better spent working. After he married Persephone, Minthe attempted to take her revenge by trying seduce Hades back.....let's just say Persephone left her a little green.

[amphii-writes]

Hi! I would like to request an angst fic where the reader gets into a fight with any of the karasuno boys and ends up in an accident after running away. You can choose anyone who you like! Thanks

So, because of how much creative liberty you gave me I’m gonna make the accident less of a “your hurt” accident but an accidental meeting if you catch my drift! Okay, on that note here are the three boys I thought would work the best with this idea:

Asahi

Tsukishima

Ennoshita

surprising, right? people seem to forget that Asahi quit the club and ennoshita almost quit like 5 times, and Tsukishima is self-explanatory.

Part two -->here<--

Thank you so much for requesting! It means a lot to me!

synopsis: Tsukishima snapped at you after you asked him to support your friendship, doing so, you ran away and met a tall man with red hair and a strange smile. genre: ANGST, slight fluff in the memories and end! warnings: Swearing, toxic friendships, heartbreak, etc. pairing: Platonic?Tsukishima & Yamaguchi x F!Reader x Platonic?Tendou word count: 1.7k

After a long day of doing club activities and homework, you were thoroughly beat. Who could blame you, staying up late nights for some free time and to get your homework done. But you always made sure to check in on your closest friends: Yamaguchi and Tsukishima.

You three had met at the beginning of middle school, as you were getting made fun of by some kids and Tsukishima stepped in and helped you. Since then you’d always wanted to repay him with your time and effort in the friendship. He was often cold to you though, leaving you to believe that nothing would ever happen in the friendship and that he’d leave you high and dry.

You and Yamaguchi often discussed Tsukishima’s personality and actions to try to attest to his actions, which at some points was hard due to his slightly sadistic nature. After long nights of ranting to each other about your frustrations, you two became closer.

Long sleepless nights filled with laughter and music often warmed your heart, especially when Tsukishima joined. He had made both you and Yamaguchi playlists- full of songs that reminded him of you guys and a small description in the bio. It was the sweetest thing he’d ever done for a long time, but then he started getting colder to you, distant. He would push you away and use words sharper than knives to cut open your heart and let it bleed a little. You had asked Yamaguchi to talk to him about it but he just said that Tsuki told him not to bring you up anymore. 

You had no idea what to do, why he exiled you, and why you never saw this coming in all honesty. You wondered if he saw you checking up on him as clingy, or how you’d make treats for him and Yamaguchi and see it as annoying or too doting. You thought of everything you could until you decided to talk with him face-to-face, which you knew would be hard, but you knew you had to try.

Armed with some baked goods and a dinosaur plushie in your already weighted backpack make your eyes droop with exhaustion. But, you were determined to go and ask him what was up. You couldn’t let such a meaningful relationship go to waste.

As you approached the gym, the sound of volleyballs bouncing around the floor filled your ears, a faint yet somewhat comforting sound. You were proud of Tadashi and Kei for doing a sport, you knew it would exhaust them, but you believed it was exactly what they needed. the feeling of light dread and the beating of your heartbeat the sound of the slams of the balls, now a faint memory in your ears.

“NOYA, LOOK OVER HERE!” you heard a male voice yell, it was coming closer to the door. “RYUU, WHAT DO YOU MEAN- OH!” a short guy with a blonde streak of hair made eye contact with you, his eyes full of energy. He ran to the door and opened it completely for you. by this time, the whole gym is now aware of your existence.

“So, what’s a cute girl doing here? Waiting for someone-” The boy named “Noya” was then promptly picked up along with his friend, “Ryuu” by a tall boy with brown hair and kind chestnut eyes. “My apologies, what do you need?” he asked with a smile. You then saw a boy with orange hair jumping up and down.

“Kageyama, look how pretty she is! Is she gonna be a manager? Hey! Are you gonna be a manager? Your very pretty!” his sweet attitude and words reminded you of what you were there for, who you were there for. You chuckled, rubbing your hand on the back of your neck.

“Thank you for your compliments but I’m just here to walk home with my friends after they’re both done with practice, I don’t mean to be a bother. To apologize, would you like some brownies? I think I brought enough for everyone here-” you were cut off by the two boys who first greeted you praying and crying out of joy. 

“Well, if you don’t mind then we’d love some! I’m Daichi Sawamura, the captain of the volleyball team” He shook your hand, his grip was just tight enough and his hands where calloused and warm, you were then met with a boy with long hair and some stubble hunching over, his hand rubbing his neck as he flashed a shy smile and bowed and thanked you. You saw so many different looking people, the skinhead and blonde streak boy seeming to be the most energetic out of the team. You finally were met with Yamaguchi jogging over to you after seemingly talking to Tsukishima. 

“Hey, Y/N! Thank you for coming, I appreciate it!” Tadashi smiled brightly. “Oh yeah- I, um... this is me and Tsuki’s friend: Y/N!” he stumbled on his words because of how many eyes were onto him.

“Y/N? Why are you here?” Tsukishima sounded frustrated “Tsuki, let her explain! Please?” only to be answered with a “Shut up, Yamaguchi.” in an icy cold tone, icier than usual. “Well, I just wanted to see if you were okay, and in all honesty, I wanted to talk to you privately-” you said, trying to calm the thumping of your heart.

“Y/N, if I was avoiding you, it was for a reason, now leave.” He snapped, the whole gym was quiet, no sound of balls, just everyone holding their breath. “Tsukishima, please hear me out-” you were once again cut off by the harsh words of one of your closest friends.

“Y/N. I don’t care about what you want to say to me, shut up and leave.” his words made you hold your breath, choking back the salty tears with a warm smile and a bow and you reached into your bag to grab a small dinosaur plushie. You handed it to him without a word, left the bag of sweets with the boys, said goodbye, and then ran out the door. you heard the faint yell of Yamaguchi and Daichi saying something. 

You could only imagine how awkward the team felt, you felt bad for coming, felt horrible for bothering him so much. You knew deep down that you did nothing wrong, that he just had to learn how to cope with his emotions, but that didn’t change the ache in your heart as your feet carried you to the street. You were aimlessly running until you were met with a stop sign, the red lights from the stoplights illuminating your skin with the bright blue.

You just aimlessly walked around the streets, not caring where you’re heading, where you are. Your tear-stained cheeks being wiped away by your sweater sleeves. The moving of cars and the small amount of business on the streets welcoming your bad mood. A tune of humming met your ears as you looked around yourself. You had somehow managed to run yourself to Shiratorizawa Academy. Honestly, now that you think about it, your feet do feel sore after walking for so long.

"Hey! Whatchu doin' here? That uniform means your from Karasuno, right?" only to be met with a perky male voice, he sounded mischievous. you turned around to see a tall boy with sanpaku eyes and a mischievous smile. His hair was a medium red and his eyes were sunken in, but not dull. But as soon as he saw your tired eyes and your tear-stained cheeks his demeanor changed. “Hey, are you okay? Can I do anything to help?” by this time you had already cried all your tears, so you just simply asked him to listen, and listen he did.

He never interjected, but he was paying attention, nodding with you while walking into Shiratorizawa. You two were met by three boys, one with black hair and a bowl-cut, one with peach hair and slanted bangs that you giggled at, and a very tall man with broad shoulders and olive hair. Tendou had asked you if he could explain what happened and the team let you in with open arms.

“So, I know what I’m about to say doesn’t justify his actions at all! I’m not that stupid!” you giggled at his lightheartedness “But, ya know how parents often tell girls ‘If he hits ya, he likes ya?’ yeah, that’s the vibe I’m getting off of Mr. Four-eyes here.” he sighed “Still doesn’t mean much when he treats ya like garbage- I’m so sorry by the way- oh wait! I haven’t even introduced myself; I’m Tendou Satori! I’m a middle blocker for Shiratorizawa’s volleyball team. I guess not all volleyball boys are bad, huh?” he stuck his tongue out at you playfully and smiled.

He was so nice to you, hell, the whole team was so nice to you! but little did you know that your phone was blowing up with messages from Yamaguchi. He wasn’t going to forgive Tsukishima that easily after what he had done.

And Tendou said that if they ever played Karasuno, he wouldn’t go hard on him, but he knew he was lying, just a little bit. Hey, it isn’t cool to leave a girl crying in the middle of the street ya know?

Thank you so much for reading and requesting again, it means so much to me!

this is also my first fic that i wrote for someone who isn’t a close friend, so thank you so much!

-Amphii

[bl-garbage]

to dance is to unshackle

um, okay—how else do i express this buoyant happiness that Gaya sa Pelikula has awoken inside me? i’m in complete and utter awe. i did not expect a drop of what the sixth episode has brought us. more than satisfying, it’s utterly fascinating. this is quite a lengthy post, but if you have the time, please bear with me. and since we’re already here, let’s fucking dissect the shit out of this:

right off the bat, it’s sweet how consistently written Vlad was the entire time of the show. at the start of the episode, for one, he was concerned with Karl’s disposition, saying, “anong iniisip mo (what are you thinking)?” and, later on, as we know, he pops that question again in this episode. what are you thinking? always in limbo. true, it’s considerate, yet more than that, it’s always a sign of waiting for permission. Vlad has been like this since the beginning: observant and willing to reach out, confident on the surface, yes, but always afraid of going overboard. 

that is not to say that Karl isn’t. in fact, the whole dynamics of their relationship rest on the fact that they can lean on each other and just be honest. many moments show this: Karl’s desire to shift; Vlad not getting  into the film lab and Karl knowing something was up; the entirety of Vlad’s birthday; Karl and Vlad’s reticence to open up to Anna, in contrast with how comfortable they feel with each other. in a nutshell, they’re each other’s homes. more on this later.

the part i was most frightened at with this episode was when Karl finally told his parents his desire to shift. to be honest, personally, i wouldn’t know exactly how that pressure on Karl feels, as i was able to study the degree i wanted. yet, back then, i had already known that my parents, who wholly supported me just the same, would have wanted a degree that leaned on science or engineering. that still sucked to know. Karl’s situation is much more complicated. his desire to shift to another course is to make up for lost time, a sense of hurrying before it really becomes all too late. this was a heavy lot to take in. the disappointment and anger in his father’s face when he dropped the bomb was too much to handle. Karl had expected it, yet its impact still hurled shrapnel that he was not able to dodge, sustaining him with several wounds. it would be curious to see how his parents come to terms with his confession. i am certain that a number of people have connected with Karl here.

which brings me to another point. Gaya sa Pelikula creates these characters with their own agency. it’s touted as a BL series, yes, but our two main characters’ point is actually not to fall in love — but to live, part of which is to fall in love. they have their hopes and dreams and own burdens to carry, and while falling in love takes centerstage here, we see how they can stand alone, on their own two feet. falling in love is central to their growth, but it is evident that love is not the whole point of their existence. 

speaking of which: ate judit. ah, yes, where do i even begin to explain the exquisiteness with which ate judit was written? how, after all of five episodes, it was only now did it make sense why judit was overly, unnaturally caring and protective, a mama bear that would not let anything happen to his little Vlad. now we know why: guilt.  

imagine that. being told you were the reason why your whole family went into shambles. there is much vindication in Vlad’s line of questioning, “why would you say that to a child?” (god, i’m tearing up even as i write this.) this was a pivotal scene, with a focal point on judit, the likes of whom we cannot entirely fault for not knowing any better. the fact remains that we are still in an era that fails to understand the spectrum of gender identities and the far utopia that we seek, where gender and sex would not be a damning classification anymore. and for true allies, it is in admitting that they “didn’t know then what [they] know now” that their support gains more strength. it is in confessing where they got wrong, how harmful their actions were, and in the commitment to do more, that their promise is made good.

parenthetically, can we talk about Vlad’s mom as well? have you all noticed how her voice broke when she said, “siguraduhin mong hindi ka na itatanggi niyan, ha (just make sure he won’t deny you, okay)?” was that pain, or guilt even? i wonder if we’re ever going to see her. it would be a regret not to. for so long Vlad had thought that he was the reason his father left, and that his mother was mad at his queerness. i wouldn’t want this simple call to be the resolution that the show had for him. at any rate, we have two more episodes to await, so i am not going to strike my gavel on this judgment just yet.

but whereas Vlad found his longtime coming reconciliation with his sister, Karl had no one to turn to. his call to Vlad was a cry for help. it was heartbreaking to see him like this. Karl had always put up a fake smile against any adversity that had come his way. to him, these were trivial matters that would pass, and they did so — until now. after all he was, as we would later come to know, living a script that had been prewritten before he even came to being. that explains his nonchalant demeanor toward life, the seeming discontent behind those dead eyes, and a repeated hinting that he was always yearning for so much more. at the end of the call, Karl instinctively goes to the closet - and his proverbial closet - and sees the skeletons he had hidden inside, drop in a mess. 

that it was Karl’s brother who was in the photo shook me. that past was so well thought out. things made so much sense in this episode: why Karl tried to fit in, why everything seemed so fake. why he was so discomforting to watch, even! that made sense now.  

and what do you do when everything has become a mess? the once seamless film that had been rolling without any glitches now sprawled on the floor, entangled in a hodgepodge well beyond fixing. when that happens, what do you do? well, you dance.

i have so many things to say about faux masculinity. it is a fact undisputed that in this society, gender roles are still very much pillars that we have yet to dismantle. our genders have been geared toward performativity, and our consolation is the external validation we receive through the acts of fitting in. in the process, we lose sight of what we really want. we blur the lines between what is and what should be, in favor of what society has demanded upon us. Karl took that role and lived by it religiously. yet, those things has gone haywire in this episode. more than his parents, it was to himself that Karl has finally admitted that the act can be dropped now: the fixed posture, those rehearsed lines, that painfully faux masculinity, on guard all the fucking time. all of those things were dropped.

that is not to say that Karl was faking all of it. there is no denying that Karl has been a masculine person most of the time. but the show portrayed before us a discarded femininity that Karl had been trying to bury deep inside him — one that all people who have been and who are still in the closet know by heart. the thing is, all of us have masculine and feminine sides, the expression of which vary at different levels in different situations. sadly, we have been preconditioned to believe that male persons must be masculine, and female persons must be feminine. Gaya sa Pelikula acknowledges this hegemony, and then throws it away all the same. true, Karl may very well be comfortable in his masculine expression, but his femininity must also be allowed to grow. one cannot be complete without embracing the entirety of who they are. many have died — been killed — for simply living who they are. society has long been a vicious environment. but people have also long fought for their fundamental right to perform these things, and through them, we know that things can change. that things are changing.

it is against this context that imprints more meaning, more gravity to when we finally, finally see Karl dance. in every sense, his dance was the show’s climax for me. it is, quite emphatically, freedom incarnate.

when i say i fucking bawled at this scene, you best believe it.

quite important to note: when Karl sees Vlad, he stopped abruptly, only for Vlad to signal to him, in an OK sign, that what he was doing was perfectly fine. that Karl could be effeminate all he wants, and who the hell in this earth should care? this allowance has given Karl all the needed validation he will ever need, at least, for that one night where they could bare it all. it was only the two of them, but the house has never been more crowded, because their feelings have seemingly exploded and have been overflowing in a glorious climax for all of us to witness. in this scene, Karl has unshackled the chains with which he had been bound all that time, and it was Vlad who helped him finally break the last of those chains. in this moment, there was only pure bliss.

(that the song playing here was Ride Home by ben&ben is the perfect giveaway. for non-Filipino readers who have only listened to ben&ben now, check this band out. it’s one of the best bands to have ever come out of the Philippine music industry.)

and, of course, in this waterfall of emotions, it is only perfect to time the moment of their first kiss. they have accepted each other, haven’t they? in a meaningful act (the gravity of which we will only realize in full later when Vlad tells the story of his dad), Karl rumpled Vlad’s hair, but only after Vlad had already consented to it. then, afterward, it was Vlad’s turn to ask, what are you thinking? to which Karl had this—and i know we all expected it, nevertheless—to say: i don’t want to think anymore. then they kissed.

i swear to god. i only watched this for the 92432475781 time.

the denouement was so well put, too: now everything is put back into its own place. Karl’s brother. his death. his parents’ expectations. the substitution. Vlad’s father. his parents’ expectations. the horror of realizing one’s difference. the abandonment. in these stories, it becomes more and more permissible to believe that Karl and Vlad have easily found comfort in each other. to say that they are soulmates (as the creator, juan miguel severo, told on his twitter) is not an exaggeration.

and, make no mistake: Karl and Vlad did not find each other’s embraces out of pity. no. it would be unduly harsh to view them that way. rather, they found solace in each other’s embrace and warmth, but it is still they who will muster the courage to face their own demons. the only difference is, they now have each other to find some sort of release. they are not destructively dependent on each other; instead, they help each other grow into the versions of themselves that they can be proud of.

finally, a couple of small things: look at the way Karl was inviting Vlad to lie in bed with him. that simple gesture harks us back to the early days of their dynamics: Vlad had expressed that it was okay to share a bed, but Karl was adamant that they do not. Karl had once dreamed of Vlad joining him there, and that scared him shitless. in contrast to that, now we have this: Karl himself inviting Vlad, and Vlad accepting for Karl’s wholehearted invitation. the moment this happened, there was a consummation of the expression of their love. if they had their doubts prior to this, those could not have been more obliterated now. 

needless to say, i fucking, fucking loved this. as one who has only ever written three fanfics (2gether and History 2!), all of which seemingly related to sleeping (what the fuck, do i have a sleep fetish or something), this ending to episode 6 is just the cherry on top. 

their lines by the end particularly strike me. here we have Karl who wishes to create his own stories. on the other hand is Vlad who wishes that he be in charge of the endings, too. how do they do that? who knows? but the certainty that defines their pact is that they shall do it together, unbound and free to dance to the song they have chosen of their own accord. and that simple promise, made in each other’s tight embrace under artificially warm lights amid that early january weather, with no certainty at all of what tomorrow has to bring, has made all the difference. 

in 34 minutes, Gaya sa Pelikula has, yet again, done more than we could have ever expected.

i just checked and this reached 2k words. i’m not even gonna attempt to proofread this anymore. anyway, this is all i have to say for now. i just simply cannot let go of the best episode i’ve seen in this show without expressing my own reaction to it. 

(also: i’m thinking of writing a fanfic; that is, the morning after. just a one-shot, hopefully a cute one. as usual, an introspection of these characters, and what lies ahead. hope i actually get to write it!)

thank you so much, Gaya sa Pelikula. you are proof that things do change.

[whump-tr0pes]

I need to gush about Honor Bound for a bit, I apologize for how long this might get, but I figured it can’t be too wrong to show gratitude for something you hold dear! I found Honor Bound through the “Bleeding through the Bandages” chapter in book 4. I got into whump around that time, mainly as a coping mechanism for my own pain, and I saw that chapter pop up on my dashboard and I didn’t really consider it was part of a bigger story and I needed a distraction so I was like, might as well. And then it ended up being the best depiction of what I was feeling that I’ve ever read; not just the pain, but the frustration, and the exhaustion, and the mind-numbing boredom shown in other chapters too. I read the previous chapters of book 4 and then decided I wanted Context and also More Sam and then I read the first three books in two days. And then I reread them all in one day because I needed to reprocess the journey that was. And then I reread all of them again with book 4 when it finished, and then religiously followed book 5 through the worst time I’ve ever had, and reread the previous books multiple times as 5 was updating as well. Needless to say it quickly became my comfort series, and on multiple occasions waiting for a new chapters was one of those little joys that kept me going. I am so, so thankful I found it when I did. The Honor Bound family is like no other found family, at least to me. All of them are such complex individuals, but their interpersonal relationships are just so deep and meaningful and each is so incredibly unique, I could honestly write essays upon essays analyzing each one. And the way you connect everything and weave tropes into the overarching plot is just Insane, it’s truly like you’re… retelling a story that actually happened, you know? Like these are real people and real stories. Because I can’t com prehend how you come up with some of this stuff. And there are so, so many “cinematic” moments that are just. So raw and hard-hitting and just stay with you. Big and small moments alike. The Ryan reveal, Joseph Stormbeck’s death (best death scene ever by the way?? I’ve told everyone I know about it when I read it I was absolutely in Awe. Never recovering from that), every moment between Sam and Isaac (I also have a sibling who I’m not technically related to by blood but would like, probably die for, so I just really appreciated everything about them and we need more stories like theirs) (and also every time Sam called Isaac out. Good for them), Sam talking Gavin through his caning holy shit that was a religious moment, Gray’s slowburn adoption of Gavin and when Gavin decided he wanted to be a Uriah (and how his initial thought to getting asked what he wants to be called was “Moore”. And then he was like “Well fuck.” Love that dumbass), just every single thing Finn ever did for the family, Finn and Ellis and Gavin’s monologue about giving Finn a concussion (!! chills!!) and their reunion after Coleen, Vera and Tori and the Work Song scene??, Vera and Tori lowkey adopting Edrissa and Edrissa’s character development and her rants about pretty things and her and Sam and Zachariah’s adorable Young Love that made me so giddy right along with them and Sam and Zachariah’s meet-ugly (I mean it was kinda sweet), Gray being the parental figure we all needed, and Nata and Zelda and Nata helping Sam (and now Gavin!!) and Vera being so proud of her puppy. Also, Isaac and Gavin’s relationship…Insane. The most dramatic enemies to lovers and I love them for it. Invented love. It’s so crazy to read the beginning and see how far everyone’s come and think about everything that has happened from that one Whumptober prompt. It’s a lot but it also makes so, so much sense. I can’t imagine a version where Isaac and Gavin aren’t together in some way (and since I started out of order, when I realized it was a enemies to lovers I was really excited to see how all of that happened. Especially after reading the first book, because it (1/2)

(2/2) was like, how the hell are they gonna get from point A to point B. No way those are the same characters, how is this ever going to get justified? And then Gavin ended up having the best character development Ever, and I love that, I love that he had to work for it and that we as the readers have to work to love him too, because it pays off). And now the ending of book 5! Oh God. On that note, you’re so good at writing villains; making them human and also absolutely detestable and killing them off in the most satisfactory way tailored to them. There was never a point after a major arc where I thought “oh, I wish this had happened instead of x, I wish this had gone this way instead”. Also, to go back on the topic of pain (physical and mental both)! The way everyone copes with it differently, it’s the same thing but it’s unique to the person dealing with it and that’s so clear in your characters, and I also love, love how you made a point of showing how pain changes people because that’s something that I find so often gets ignored, whether voluntarily or not, even in whump. But, yeah, pain definitely changes people. And that’s not always bad, and it’s not always drastic, but it happens and it’s not a shameful thing. Everyone breaks. And HB made me believe that I was allowed to break, and that it’s still possible to live a life you think is worth it. And I won’t even get into how much it’d taught me about friendship and family and how it made me reflect on my own relationships with my loved ones (especially Isaac’s perspective, oh God). It’s just such a rewarding journey. That’s the best word to describe it, I think. And this latest chapter: “The sun shone brightly on the hood of the car, so bright Isaac almost had to close his eyes. The wind moved through the trees that swayed on either side of the lane. Isaac rolled his window down, and he could hear the birds calling to each other, and the sound of the wind rustling the long grasses that smelled so green. With each heartbeat, Gavin relaxed in his arms, his head falling against Isaac’s shoulder, his breaths becoming deep and slow again. A tear rolled down Isaac’s cheek, and he hid his smile against Gavin’s hair.” That image. It’s so vivid and visceral. It gives me the exact same feeling as spring after a long winter (which is…super fitting, actually). It’s that moment of pure contentedness when you realize it’d all been worth it. I don’t know, it just really, really struck me, and I’m so glad the book ended on that note. Despite knowing more hurt awaits, even that feels okay, because happiness will always find a way to seep through. And God, do they deserve that! It’s gonna be heartbreaking when their story ends, but I also know it’s gonna feel right. Like a peaceful retirement. Just, thank you for sharing this world with us, Athena. I hope you’re aware how meaningful this story is to so many of us. And being able to follow it in real-time and hear your inputs and chat about the characters and scream in the comments and reblogs is such a privilege (and being able to read it for free at all? Five books (six counting Vera)! For free! Though I will be getting books 1 and 2 soon hopefully actually). I cannot wait for book 6 and I Will be crying about book 5 until then (and long afterwards, most likely). And I wish you all the best in everything you take on next.<3

Wow, I... wow. I had to set down my phone and just sit in silence after I read this. I’m just... so humbled and amazed that you were able to connect so much with the story and the characters. I’m so glad that you saw something of yourself, and that you were able to find comfort in it. I find comfort in them, too, just knowing that the characters are there when I need to write them. 

It’s important to me for things to turn out ‘right.’ That’s part of why I write whump: the bad guys can be defeated, the good guys emerge safe, and love prevails. Writing Isaac and Gavin’s love story was absolutely the biggest surprise for me, it really did feel like I was the last to know. But I treasure them both so much and I love writing them. The family is so fun to explore, with each relationship being so different from the other. I’ve poured so much of myself into this story and into every single one of the characters. 

Book 6 is going to be such a challenge. It’s the last book in the series, and the one that’ll (hopefully) tie everything together. I’m giving myself a little break, but I’m also a little scared to start it because once I start it, then each chapter will be closer to the end, and then it’ll be over. I have a few more things in store for the family but at the end, I hope they’re safe, happy, and together. These characters mean more to me than I can say and I’m so happy I’ll have you with me along the way.

[wonder-womans-ex]

And The Song Keeps Playing

Part 2

The days drag on. Then they turn into weeks, and months, and those drag on, too. The whirlwind that was Sirius has disappeared from Remus’s life, and he is left drifting aimlessly from decision to decision, not quite sure what to do. 

There is no determination in Remus’s life, There is no passion. There isn’t much of anything, really, if you don’t count the empty space on the other side of the bed and the late nights spent at the bar down the street. The only thing he truly has to live for are memories, because his past with Sirius is the most important thing in the world—someone has to remember it, and he knows that somewhere, Sirius is trying his hardest not to. 

It’s funny, really, that he didn’t realize just how large a part of his life Sirius was until Sirius was gone. He has no one to go to, no shoulder to cry on, because it was always supposed to be Sirius’s shoulder. Before they were lovers, they were friends, and it never really occurred to either of them that they could ever be nothing at all. 

Well, it probably occurred to Sirius. But he’s not going to think about that. 

In any case, Remus has only four contacts in his phone. One is Sirius’s cell, one is Sirius’s old work number, and the other two… well, he’s not about to call his mother or his Great Aunt Caroline and tell them that his first real relationship—with a man, no less—has reached its—in hindsight, somewhat inevitable—end. 

All of which means he’s left, heartbroken, in an apartment he can’t afford on his own with nothing but photo albums he should really throw out but can’t bring himself to and an engagement ring that never got to see the light of day to keep him company. Remus has a gaping hole in his heart that can’t be filled with anything but Sirius, and since Sirius is no longer there, he has no choice but to not try to fill it at all. 

He writes. 

He writes because that’s all he knows how to do. He puts pencil to paper and spins stories of completely fictional people who are, in no way, shape, or form, anything like anyone who happens to be named Sirius Orion Black. No, his characters are blond and red-haired; his characters have spring-green and ocean blue eyes; his characters have skin like cream or terra cotta or freshly churned soil. Not one of them is pale bronze with thick dark hair and grey eyes that darken with anger or fear or sadness or lust. Not one of them loves like it’s all he was born to do. 

Marcia at the bookstore still smiles at him when he arrives for his shift. She still rolls her eyes and pretends not to notice when she catches him reading on the job. But Marcia, the only person he ever used to willingly make conversation with—other than Sirius, obviously—has no idea that every time he catches a whiff of one of the cigarettes she smokes on her break, he has to fight back tears. 

It only takes three months—which is longer than he had expected, actually—for him to look at what he has and know, with sickening surety, that there’s no way he can make rent. Barely a week later, he’s locking his apartment door for the final time and handing over the key to the lady (Janine, her name says) behind the front desk. 

He’s got a duffel bag in one hand, full of as many clothes as he could fit. In the other—or, technically, balanced against his hip—is the huge blue tupperware bin full of vinyl records—mostly Sirius’s, but six of them are his own, and that’s the excuse he gives himself for keeping them. Everything else is on the moving van: the turntable and the toaster and the sofa he almost put up for sale on eBay but eventually decided against. He and Sirius bought that sofa together, which of course has nothing to do with it. Nothing at all. 

There’s only one thing Remus can’t excuse; there’s only one thing that makes his carefully woven story of not missing Sirius begin to crumble: that ugly old bird paperweight that Sirius had loved so much. It’s funny, in a morbid sort of way, because Remus used to spend so much time trying to convince him to get rid of it, but now, strangely, bitterly, it’s all he truly has left of him. 

In truth, he’s not sure how he does anything anymore. His head is still a storm of fresh heartbreak and poisoned Cupid’s arrows and the all-consuming need that is Sirius—or, rather, the lack of him. Sirius isn’t there, which means love isn’t, either, and the truth is that time passes a lot more painfully quickly without those two vitally connected things there to make everything real and meaningful and worth remembering. 

So he finds himself standing in the middle of an empty apartment, staring up at the water stains on the ceiling, not knowing what truly happened to get him here, except for that it is in every way Sirius’s fault. 

It feels strange when he thinks about it, but this is the first time he’s ever lived alone. He and Sirius, when they made the inevitable change from friends to more at age fifteen—after three years of lingering gazes and hugs that lasted just a few seconds longer than necessary—had immediately known, deep inside, that somewhere out there, there was a one-bedroom apartment and a life together waiting for them. It’s common knowledge that teenage romances never go far, but that was never supposed to apply to them. 

He wonders how long Sirius had been planning his escape to greatness, and then he decides that knowing the answer to that question would be what undoes him completely. 

So Remus waits. He goes to the bookstore and waits for customers; he lies awake in bed at night and waits for sleep to come to him; he reads the newspaper every morning and waits for Sirius’s name. His heart breaks a little more as first September, then October comes to a close and the possibility that Sirius left him for nothing becomes more and more real. It’s been almost a year, and Sirius’s promise of I’m going to be famous doesn’t look like it’s going to stop being broken anytime soon. 

Them just as quickly, it has been a year—November sixth will forever be etched into his memory; he knows that as sure as anything—and Remus Lupin finds himself in a dimly lit bar nursing a whiskey that tastes like crying himself to sleep. Or, at least, he thinks it’s whiskey. He wasn’t really paying attention when he ordered. As long as it does its job of erasing tonight from his memory, it’s good enough for him. 

Over in one corner of the bar, there’s one of those Coca-Cola ads—the retro ones with old-fashioned teenagers in old-fashioned clothing. This one shows a redhead girl and a dark-haired boy on a picnic blanket, and the happy smiles on their faces seem to Remus to be taunting him. At the bottom, it’s captioned ‘make it a date — share a coke!’ and he tries to think of something witty and wry to say about it, but all his mind provides is the way Sirius’s eyes used to crinkle when he laughed. Hell, maybe they still do, and Remus has to squeeze his eyes closed to stop himself from crying when he wonders who the cause of Sirius’s laughter—his happiness—is nowadays. It isn’t him, that’s for sure. 

Under the sign is a piano. There’s a man sitting there; his fingers dance along the keys to create a melody Remus hasn’t let himself notice until now. 

He takes first one step, then another in that direction, and before he knows it—before he’s truly ready—he’s meeting a pair of dark hazel eyes from just a few feet away. The man smiles when he sees him. 

“Got any requests?”

As soon as he says it, Remus will wish he hadn’t, but he has to anyway. He owes it to himself. “Play us a song; you’re the piano man,” he whispers, and his voice carries well in the far-too-silent bar. 

A grin. “I’d been hoping someone would ask.”

It’s fine, at first. He lets the music wash over him; he takes in the story of a man with not quite enough to live for. But then the barely-there ache begins to consume him. This is, in a way, his story—his and Sirius’s—and with every word, he feels as if his heart is being laid bare. Before, he was hurting because Sirius left him, but now he’s just hurting because Sirius is gone. 

It’s the last epiphany he wants to have while he’s here, in a bar at the end of nowhere street, listening to this fucking song and trying for the life of him not to cry. 

He can’t do this. 

“I’m sorry,” he chokes out, stepping away from the piano before he can see the expression on the man’s face. A woman by the door turns around indignantly when he shoulders past her, but he barely notices. He’s outside, and he can breathe again, and he stands in the red glow of the neon sign and presses the heels of his hands into his eyes and sobs.