#they literally make him care about ONLY mickey mouse it makes me want to die

[aratakatism]

if i see one more tiktok slideshow that waters two-bit down to mickey mouse i will kill myself

[kyotakumrau]

2021.02.16 1st talk session of Meguro Rock-May-KanGIG at Zepp Yokohama

Zepp Yokohama is a such a nice venue, I really hope we will get to see dir play there live properly!

The concert recorded at Meguro RockMayKan was great! The setlist surprised me quite a lot (especially encore!!!)! And I think that was the smallest stage I ever saw dir on!😆 the footage definitely deserves a separate entry and I don't want to spoil anyone if they go to next events.

After the concert film screening staff quickly prepared the stage, bringing two long tables and four chairs, they also placed a water bottle at each seat.

Punctually (thank you for not repeating Nagoya's situation😆), at 3:30 Fujieda came on stage and started with greeting everyone, and asking us to greet the band members with applause.

After a moment of uncertainty (even as my heart was almost set it will be Kyo) Die came on stage with Kyo after him.٩( ˆoˆ  )۶

They both looked super classy. Die had a dark grey suit with a long jacket, his usual award winning hair and wore sunglasses.

Kyo had a black jacket (with a round Chanel pin) and shirt, green hair, he wore glasses (not sunglasses).

When they sat (Kyo stood in front of the chair first until Fujieda gestured them to sit) F asked them to introduce themselves.

D: ども、Dieです

K: 京です

...and then F announced 'today is Kyo's birthday!' and a birthday song melody began to play😆

Kyo turned on his murder face glaring at Fujieda who happily observed 'oh what's this song?'😂

The soft Happy Birthday melody got then a guitar joining in and Takabayashi came on the stage carrying a small strawberry shortcake (with a chocolate message おめでとう京さん) which of course he placed in front of Kyo.

We couldn't sing but we clapped.

Kyo snatched a strawberry and popped it in his mouth. He gestured 'throat slashing' looking at Fujieda😂

And then ate another strawberry🍓😂

F: the song was made by Die.

K: (only interested in the cake) Could I get a fork?

(staff went to get him one)

F: how do you feel? (about your own birthday)

K: I don't care.

The fork arrived and Kyo literally dug in right in the middle, scooping a huge piece he put whole in his mouth.

Fujieda wisely left Kyo to his cake then and started talking about RMK footage. Die said they had hard time deciding on a tour or events like this in COVID situation. They also mentioned the secret show in 2009 was held in RMK.

Next Die talked about how nice it was to rehearse and play together with the band, first time since March, he was happy about the show, creating sound together as 5 people.

F: did you finish eating K?

K: yup

(there was last 🍓 left (out of 4 big ones), he ate about 25~35%?)

F: then tell us about recording the RockMayKan show!

K: the place was very narrow.

F: anything else?

K: Not really.

But then he added more, that as it has been a while it felt like the first day of the tour.

F: was there anything that was difficult? Was a struggle?

K: when recording I can do it at my own pace, I can do one song when I want, but that day it was back to performing over 10 songs all at once, it was tough, hard on my throat, energy/stamina wise.

But at the same time it was exciting, meet with other members, play music together, that was nice.

F: 2019 was filled with shows, it was busy, then things changed. So after a break to see an audience again got me nervous, in a good way.

Next F said had would like to talk about the release of Oboro.

D: what do you want to know?

F: so the song is not out yet, any hints?

D: it's gonna stay a secret for a bit more.

F: the 2nd track is TDFF？

D: (interesting letters ???didn't catch exactly) it's a powerful song.

F: how is Oboro for you Kyo?

K: quite fresh/refreshing

F: really?!

D: especially the video

...but then Kyo just burst with a whole speech how Fujieda always ask something and when he gets an aswer he didn't expect he doesn't react well, just says what he wants, is not listening to what Kyo says and... it went for a while😆

Next F moved to the topic of the merchandise and asked the band members which items they like.

K: the big badge, before the big pick was huge, shouldn't the badge be like this size (showing about 20cm with his hands). It bothered me from when I saw it. Isn't it just normal?

in the end they agreed it's just 'a bit big' 😂

F: how about for you, D?

D: the rubber key chains?

F: they got sold out very quickly, sorry to fans about that.

D: they are cute. And I like the wristbands too. The color combinations are nice.

T: the badge has the old band's logo, it brings me back

D talked about old times when artists made stickers like that, with logos, to put on their equipment, they worked a bit like business cards, he said he still have some at home.

T picked the rechargeable heat pack.

K: so it's to be used instead of heat packs? (ホッカイロ)

F: uh, it's already warm.

D: huh? Show me? (F passed it to him) it's like a phone that gets hot when charging.

Next they moved on to fans questions. ("~~" is a question from fans they read)

K (unusually picks the first question super fast): "what's your favourite cake?"

K: Well, the strawberry shortcake is good, but this one doesn't have strawberries inside, just some jam, it should have strawberries inside too.

(F so dead😂😂😂)

F: "what's your best or bad memory connected to birthdays?"

K: at a concert somewhere, it was quite long time ago, I got a present all wrapped and in a bag from a silver accessories brand I liked, so nicely wrapped, I opened it and it was empty, isn't that really strange? I looked at the attached letter and it said the person is keeping the item for themselves. It annoyed me so much, the worst bd memory ever.

☹️

F: how about you D?

D: it's not exactly bad memory, but many band members have birthdays in February, in the past when we were still giving each other presents Toshiya and I had to think what to get for 3 people, it was always tough. We stopped that at some point.

T: "any memory/story about China Town?"

D: I like China Town

T: do you go often?

D: sometimes. But only to my favorite restaurants. (?? Talked more about the stadium?)

T: do you usually order the same thing?

D: Mabodofu, the spicy version

(then I think he said something like there's no point in overdoing spicyness, it's not healthy??)

K: I don't know which restaurants are good so I get annoyed. I don't know what decides it's a good one or not.

F: I don't go, but I'd like to.

then they talked about the types of Chinese food and food they tried when in other Asian countries.

K: when we were touring in the US I ordered Chinese abd it was terrible, it was all bad. The egg soup was all clumpy, so bad.

D: "any stories about RockMayKan?"

D: honestly I don't have good memories with this venue, when with a previous band we played together with more senior bands and they took over the dressing room, we couldn't use it, and we also had to greet all senpai musicians.

K: remember when Shinya sat on the lockers? Like on top of the 170cm lockers?

D: was it in Nagoya?

K: he's done his make up there, like a cat or something

D: Shinya climbed a locker and made a space for himself there

K: He's not exactly human. Normally you would not even consider climbing a locker...

D: we usually did our make up on the stairs, didn't use changing room. When we played at RMK as dir for the first time I saw 'this is the changing room!'

He also talked about how the hair spray used by all the bandomen would stink up the whole place 😂

F: "what do you usually wear to sleep?"

K: just underwear. Doesn't matter if it's summer or winter I want to feel the towel like fabric, I use towel cloth for my bedding, I want my whole body to feel it so there's no point in wearing pajamas.

D: at home...wait you mean my home or my family house? At my parents' I always wear the pajama my mum got me, currently the Mickey Mouse one. I only have that one there.

K( with sudden interest): can you draw it?

D: it's about this big, quite big print. The one I wear at home, it wasn't sent by my mum.

K: not Mickey one??

D:  that's Nightmare Before Christmas.

K: Disney theme?

D: this one has a face in the front.

K: do you change characters (for pajamas) every year?

D: this year it's Nightmare.

Next was something they wanted to say to F. K chose to comment on his haircut, because it's asymmetric K is bothered that it will end as an uzumaki in the back. They talked more about F's style.

F: "I'd like you to tell us about your costumes you wore for RMK show".

D: I wanted something motovating so red colour.

K: I had no special reasoning, just what I wanted to wear then.

D: "have you gotten any food delivery?"

He said he only got it once or not much, I think he said he's not fond of shops that don't do it properly, but when recording it's good???

F: Shinya said he orders Uber almost everyday.

K: I only got Uber once.

F: what did you get?

K: Burger King. I quit McDonalds. After eating Burger King I can't go back to McDonalds.

They talked about sizes of burger here?? Whooper versus Junior Whooper?

F: So McD is not good?

K: the meat taste is different. McDonald now tastes like trash.

F: what about the Mc fries, when they get a bit soft.

K: not only a bit. Gross.

D: in the US we usually also have some American staff, when we had some time and we went to eat out, it was funny, American staff went for sushi, Shinya went for McDonalds.

F: was it last time?

D: no, quite some time ago.

F: when did you eat McDonalds the last time?

D: I also don't eat it, it's been some time already.

They talked more about the food, some restaurants D liked in the US (didn't catch the name🙃 but in Sacramento?), then F talked more about event schedule and the time was over.

Last comments from the band members:

Die: From today the new series of film screening starts, thank you for coming to the first day. So well... the band is working on the new album while coming to the events at the same time, we're working on creating a great album. Please come amd enjoy the events.

Kyo: I don't have a special thing to say. Many of you will be coming to few or many events and will end up with many t-shirts, you can do whatever with them, even use them as a doormat, there are many ways to use them, no problem for the whole year.

[voidofwords]

hopelessly devoted

here’s a short wlw story i wrote! ngl i came up with everything, including the characters, as i went, but i ended up pretty happy with it!

Her grin is so bright when she looks at me. “Syd,” she says, beaming. “You won’t believe it!”

He said yes. I smile at her and tell the sinking feeling in my stomach to fuck off. “What?” I ask, with as much excitement as I can muster. 

Jasmine turns her phone screen towards me so I can see the messages between her and Brandon, but she’s waving the phone around excitedly and it’s impossible to even get a glimpse of what the messages say. Fortunately for me, and I would like my sarcasm here to be noted, she is kind enough to also tell me the news herself:

“He said yes!” She squeals, grabbing me by the arm and shaking my whole body. “Brandon said yes to go on a date with me! I’m going on a date with Brandon.”

For a moment, my brain is so fixated on the fact that Jasmine is touching my arm, it forgets how to do anything else. But I manage to kick it back into action and plaster on my most convincing I’m-so-happy-for-you-and-not-at-all-screaming-inside smile. “Jas, that’s great! That’s amazing!”

She nods eagerly, her deep brown eyes looking into mine. “You have to help me prepare for the date. I don’t even know what to wear!”

That actually makes me grin for real. “Come on, Jas, we both know you have way better style than me.”

She giggles and shakes her head. “Shut up, I love your whole, like, tomboy thing. Your style is amazing. But I just meant I want you there for emotional support.”

“Oh. Right.” Did Jasmine just tell me she loves my style? I am fighting so fucking hard to keep my brain from going into overdrive. I try to smile, but I think it’s more of a grimace. “Of course I’ll be there,” I tell her. “That’s what friends are for.” 

-

I don’t want to move. I don't want to get up. The alarm on my phone went off five minutes ago to let me know it was time to go to Jasmine’s house, but I think I might just lie here forever. What’s the point? She probably won’t even care if I come. She’ll be too fixated on her date with Brandon later to even notice if I’m there or not. 

Brandon is popular and has abs and is apparently super hot and charming - I don’t get it, but sure - and I’m just Syd, the tragic gay idiot, in love with my best friend. If this was a movie, Jasmine would be the main character. Of course she would. And I’d be the edgy queer-coded friend who’s mostly there for comic relief and emotional support. My life is a fucking joke. 

Because I might as well give the merciless gods watching my tragedy unfold something to laugh about, and because I’d be an asshole if I stood up my best friend right before her big date, I get up. There’s no point wallowing in my self-pity any more than necessary. 

Jasmine’s arms are around me the second she opens the door. It’s a signature Jasmine hug, tight and squeezy and enthusiastic, the kind that leaves me out of breath for more than one reason. 

“Syd! I was starting to worry you wouldn’t come.” She takes a step back and looks at me with her puppy-like eyes and I ask myself how the hell I’m going to get through today.

I shoot her what I hope looks like an apologetic smile. “Sorry. But I’m here!” I take in her worn-in sweatpants and oversized Mickey Mouse t-shirt. She still looks fucking amazing - this girl could literally wear anything and still look like a goddess - but I highly doubt this is what she’s planning on wearing for her date with Brandon. 

“I take it you haven’t found out what to wear yet,” I say. “Or is the date more of a Disney-themed pyjama party?” 

That makes her laugh. “No you silly goose! Brandon is taking me to dinner, and then to see a movie.” She takes my hand, and I freeze up as she pulls me inside the house and toward her room. “I need your input on what to wear.”

“You’d probably be better off without it, you know.” I smile as I imagine Brandon’s face if Jasmine showed up to their date in my battered jeans and too-big flannel. But I quickly chase the image away, because the thought of Jasmine wearing my clothes is too much to handle right now. 

Jasmine picks up two dresses from her bed and holds them both out to me. “Which one do you like the best?”

I have seen her in both of them before, but they’re usually what she wears around her older conservative family members, not when she is out having fun. Both of them are very modest, while still being pretty. 

“What happened to the other ones?” I ask, because I know her favourite dress is either the sleeveless floral one or the cute flowy one. 

Jasmine shrugs and smiles a smile that doesn’t quite reach her eyes. “Brandon texted me saying he doesn’t want me wearing anything too revealing, since we’ll be out in public.” 

What the fuck. “Brandon is telling you what to wear?” 

“No. He’s just giving me some pointers on what not to wear!”

I stare at Jasmine, who is still smiling like she actually thinks this is fine. “Jasmine, that’s still shitty behavior. He doesn’t have the right to do that!” 

She shrugs again. “It’s fine. I don’t mind! It narrows down my choices, and you know it’s hard for me to decide what to wear. Besides, I like these dresses too!” 

“Jas.” I sigh. “Are you sure you wanna go out with this guy?”

Jasmine laughs, as if in disbelief. “What? Of course I do! It’s Brandon.” 

“I just…” I’m definitely overstepping here, but I can’t stop myself. “I don’t get what you see in him.” 

“Oh, well, you know. He’s handsome and funny and… popular and…” She trails off for a second before looking up at me. For once she isn’t smiling. “I just like him, okay? I’m sorry your standards are so impossibly high. I’ve never even seen you express interest in a guy!” 

Is she kidding me right now? “I don’t…” Now it’s my turn to be speechless. 

Jasmine sighs, like she is giving up on me, and picks up one of the dresses again. “I’ll just go with this one.”

I’m worried she will change in front of me like we did when we were younger, but she goes to the bathroom to change. Thank fuck; there’s only so much I can handle in one day. 

When she comes back out, her brilliant smile is back. Her eyes look a little red, but it’s impossible to tell if it’s because she has been crying. I open my mouth to say something but before I can, she spins around to show off her dress. 

“What do you think?”

“It’s nice.” It is nice, of course it is, that’s not the problem. The problem is, it isn’t the kind of thing I know Jasmine likes to wear. But this time, I don’t say anything.

She grabs a box of her nicest makeup stuff and sits on the bed. “Will you help me with my makeup?”

“You want my help with your makeup?” I let out a laugh. “Jas.” I know how to do makeup decently, but I never wear it, so I don’t have anything close to the kind of practice she has. 

“Syd.” She laughs too. “It’ll be fun! Just like old times!”

That is true. When we were kids, Jasmine used to “borrow” her mom’s makeup, and we would take turns making each other look “beautiful”. It was a disaster, but the best kind. 

“Alright,” I say. “But I hope Brandon won’t be upset when you show up to the date with lipstick smeared across your face like a clown.” 

I sit down on the bed with her and help her pick out what I think would look good with her dress. 

It goes smoothly, until I have to do her eyeliner.

“This is a bit tricky,” I say, moving closer. “Please don’t be mad if I do a bad job.”

“I’m sure you’re doing a great job, Syd.” She smiles with her eyes still closed. 

“Stop talking, I’m trying to concentrate.” 

By some miracle, I manage to make it look good and symmetrical. I’m actually kind of proud of myself. “Okay, you can open your eyes now.”

But I’m not prepared for when she actually does, and I realize how little space there suddenly is between us. 

Our faces are so close I can smell her minty breath. Her eyes are locked with mine, and I have officially forgotten how to breathe. I think time might have stopped, just for us. And then, she fucking looks at my lips. There’s no mistaking it. She is looking right at my lips, with her own slightly parted. 

And that’s when I make the stupid, idiotic, wonderful mistake of kissing her. Fucking hell, it may be a mistake but it’s the best one I’ve ever made. Her lips are so, so soft. Holy shit. Is this how I die? Am I actually going to die kissing Jasmine? I think I’m okay with that. I think that is how I want to go. 

But before I even have time to register what a bad idea this is, she breaks the kiss and moves away from me on the bed. She is staring at me with a mix of shock and betrayal. Well, shit. She reaches up to touch her lips, like she can’t quite believe they were actually touching mine just a moment before. “Why would you do that?” she whispers, her brown eyes as puppy-like as ever. Though this time, it’s more like a puppy that has been kicked by its owner. 

“I… I don’t know,” I choke out. “Fuck. Jasmine-”

She shakes her head and stands up abruptly. “I have to go.” Her voice is shaky. “My date is waiting.” 

-

Fuck this shit. Fuck the universe and fuck Brandon and most of all, fuck me and my lack of impulse control.

I have successfully ruined everything. Yay. Not only have i completely screwed up my relationship with my only real friend, I have also probably ruined her date with the guy she likes.

At this point, all I can do about it is go outside and touch some grass. There is an old park in our neighborhood that no one visits anymore, and it’s the perfect place if you want to be alone with your misery and self-loathing. I guess you could say I come here often. 

I sit down against the trunk of a tree and look up at the sky. It’s cloudy, but the kind of cloudy where the clouds look like bunnies and hearts and shit. I guess looking at clouds is a better use of my time than replaying the events of today over and over and hating myself more with every passing second. 

I don’t even know how much time passes but suddenly, I feel another person close to me. I start, convinced I’m about to be murdered or kidnapped, but when I turn, I see Jasmine. 

She sits down next to me and offers me a shaky smile. This time she definitely has been crying. She kinda still is. 

I don’t know whether I should say something, so I just sit there and look at her. She looks down at her own hands, and doesn’t speak for a long time. I’m about to open my own cursed mouth, when she finally speaks. 

“I’m so sorry, Syd.”

I stare at her, my brain not computing. “You’re sorry? What the hell do you have to be sorry for?”

“I was a total… a total dingus earlier!” If I didn’t feel so fucked right now, I would have smiled at Jasmine’s adorable inability to swear, maybe even gently teased her about it. But I don’t. I sit quietly as she continues: “I have been for years, haven’t I? Completely clueless.”

“What?” I don’t know what she is on about, but if she means clueless about my embarrassing crush on her, then yes, she has been. I can’t blame her, though. I mean, I did try to hide it, and for good reason. 

“I left the date with Brandon early.”

I feel like an ass for it, but I’m happy to hear that. Not because I’m naive enough to think it means anything for me, but because Brandon is such a punchable fucking idiot, and definitely not good enough for Jasmine. “Oh,” is what I say. “Did you not have a good time?”

She finally looks at me. “I left because of you, Syd.” 

Fuck. “Jasmine, I’m so fucking sorry. I never should’ve-”

“Stop,” she says, and I do. “I left because I realized you were right. I don’t like Brandon.” She lets out a shaky laugh. Her eyes are brimming with tears. “It probably shouldn’t have taken you kissing me to realize it, but… Yeah, well, I’m an idiot.”

My heart and brain seem to have made a collective decision to stop functioning. I stare at her, not sure if any of this is really happening. Maybe I’m misinterpreting what she is saying. Yeah, that seems like the only logical-

My half-panicked thoughts are cut off by Jasmine leaning forward and pressing a soft kiss to my lips. She is still teary-eyed, but she is also smiling softly as she moves close enough that our shoulders are touching. “I don’t think I even like guys at all,” she whispers. “And… well. I’m pretty sure I like you. A lot.”

She is looking at me expectantly, but I am stunned into silence. My brain short-circuited long ago and left me useless and unable to do anything other than stare at her in disbelief. 

“Syd.” She nudges me with her shoulder. “Please say something, I am freaking out over here!”

“Shit. Yeah. Sorry.” I shake my head, slowly kicking myself back into action. “I like you a lot too. But I probably made that pretty obvious earlier, didn’t I?” I chuckle nervously, meeting her eyes. My heart is still going haywire, has been since she fucking kissed me. I don’t think I’ve fully processed that yet. “Sorry, this is… a lot.”

Jasmine grins. “Yeah, tell me about it. Twelve hours ago I thought I was the straightest person ever and that I liked Brandon? And now it turns out I’ve been a lesbian the whole time! God, that feels weird to say, but… Also like such a relief? Like part of me has known for way longer.” 

I almost don’t have the courage to do it, but I reach out and take her hand. Our fingers interlock. When she puts her head on my shoulder, I almost start to tense up, out of habit I guess, but I tell myself to relax. 

The moment feels so precious, so uniquely ours, that I’m afraid I’ll ruin it if I speak. So I close my eyes and savour the way Jasmine’s soft body is pressed against mine, and I pray that this moment never ends. 

[the-awkward-outlaw]

A New Adventure - Pt. 8

Okay, y’all I know I been super absent on this piece. It’s not for lack of desire or care, I promise! It’s because when I started this, I was planning on using activities I did over this summer to inspire this, but then covid happened and I been stuck in my house all summer. K, excuses over. This one is extra fluffy with a side serving of even more fluff, so enjoy! 

Masterlist

Read on AO3

Silver Lingings

Things have been different between you and Arthur. Since you told him some of your insecurities and he comforted you, things have been better. 

You’ve never been able to easily open up to people but with Arthur, it’s different. Perhaps it’s because he’s the first person who’s told you to your face that he cares. 

Arthur has been warmer towards you. Not that he wasn’t before. But he’s even moreso. 

One day you come home from the store. You’d offered him to come, but he said he wanted to stay home, take a shower maybe. 

You haul in the few sacks of groceries, remembering the one that has the refill on Arthur’s meds. 

You’ve been doing some research on TB lately, as a way to try and help Arthur in his recovery. It’s not pretty to know that even today, well over a million people die a year from the disease, and those who recover are permanently damaged, their lungs scarred. Not only that, they suffer bouts of symptoms even though they no longer have the disease. Along with those is the fact that their immune system is greatly damaged and they’re more prone to other infections. 

The moment you walk in, you hear whistling. Is that Arthur? It makes you smile. 

When you get into the kitchen, he walks over and takes the groceries from you. “Let me help ya, darlin’.” 

You blush at his nickname for you. How can he be so terrifying in the ways you’ve seen and even made him be in the game, and yet so sweet? He’s a complicated man, and unpredictable in the best ways. 

He continues to whistle as he helps you put things away, and then he grabs the boxes of meds. You hear him give a heavy sigh. 

It’s no secret that these medications have kicked his ass nearly as well as the disease itself. 

“You okay?” you ask.

“Yeah. Just… don’t like these things. But I guess they’re better than the alternative.” 

“I know. But hey, you’re halfway through. Only three more months.” 

Arthur turns to look at you and leans his back on the counter. “These medicines have side effects, right?” 

“Course. Pretty much every medication does. Why? You having some?”

He rubs the back of his neck, not looking at you. “Yeah. A few. Kind of… embarrassin’ though.” 

“Arthur, it’s fine. My mother’s a nurse. She’s been a nurse longer than I been alive. Trust me, after hearing the things she saw, none of it really phases me.” 

Arthur grunts and then tells you in vague details some of the things he’s dealing with. Tingling in his hands and feet, occasional joint pain, and then he mentions in an embarrassed way about how his body fluids have been colored more orange. 

“Those are common, Arthur. Unfortunately nothing we can really do for most of them. You haven’t been drinking alcohol, have you?” 

He grunts that he’s had a couple beers a week. 

“Well, no more. That’s one reason why your body fluids have been discolored. It’s your liver doing it. And for your joint pain? That can be fixed with tylenol.” 

After a few seconds, you add “You’ve been coughing less.” 

“Yeah,” he says softly. “Been havin’ less pain in my lungs too.” 

You can tell he’s a little put out by the discussion of his medical problems. 

“Arthur, let’s do something fun this week. Even though covid is still strong, some places are starting to open up. We just have to reserve a spot ahead of time.” 

“How do you do that?” he asks. 

“Easy. Just by tickets on the internet.” 

He grunts again and looks out the window. The internet, well, most electronic technology baffles him. You once caught him trying to literally pop your phone open to see what was inside. He’s been more gentle since you explained phones don’t open up unless you destroy them. 

“Maybe. But… ain’t there places we can go we don’t have to reserve a place?” 

“Sure,” you say. “There’s plenty of lakes and trails we can go on.” 

He immediately perks up when you say that. 

“Can we go to one of them places today?” 

“Sure,” you say. “I know a nice little place.” 

An hour later, you’re driving up one of the many canyons towards a place called Silver Lake near Brighton Ski Resort. 

Arthur’s a bit baffled by your explanation of skiing. Even though you’ve lived in Utah your whole life (which reportedly has the greatest snow on earth) you’ve never been skiing or snowboarding. But you do your best to explain them. 

Arthur’s mood greatly improves the further in the canyon you get. He loves how wild it is, even this close to the city. And the quiet. He loves it all. 

You laugh when he gets particularly excited about seeing a moose cow standing in the marshes of a beaver’s pond, a heron sauntering nearby. 

Because you know how unusual it is to see a moose, you pull over and roll down the windows so he can see. 

The smell coming from the forest is intoxicating. 

The drive to the lake is nearly an hour, and by the time you finally get there, Arthur’s smiling. It’s rather contagious. 

However you have to catch yourself when you see how happy he is. It just makes him all that much more handsome. You’ve been trying to be so careful not to fall for him. 

The air is nice and cool up here, a relieving reprieve from the triple degree heat down in the city. 

Arthur’s donned his leather hat and blue shirt for this walk. It looks great out here and even though there’s some people, no one will think anything of his outfit.

The hike around the lake is very easy and is a good hour walk if you take your time. Perfect for Arthur as it won’t irritate his lungs. 

The path lies right against the shores of the lake, which is not any larger than lake Owanjilla in the game, and also quite shallow. 

As you walk along the boardwalk on the marshy end of the lake, Arthur stops and looks over the railing. There, you can both easily see minnows hiding in the reeds. 

Once you hit the trees, Arthur looks around. There’s no one around. 

He shocks you by taking your hand in his and just holding it as you both walk. You can’t help but smile up at him. 

At the halfway point of the lake, there is a bench on the trail. It has a great lookout on the lake and you can even see Mickey Mouse mountain, a curious mountain with a permanent bald spot that forms the shape of the famous mouse’s head. 

You and Arthur sit on the bench and say nothing. There is nothing that needs to be said here at this moment. It’s so quiet and calm, to say anything would spoil it. 

Arthur unleashes your hand, to which you feel sad about. You’d really been enjoying it. 

Then he surprises you. He feins scratching the back of his neck and then his arm drapes along the back of the bench behind you. 

It’s getting harder and harder to control yourself around him, and you find that you’re really not wanting to anymore. 

With the encouragement of the solitude and Arthur’s arm draped behind you, it’s not long before you’re leaning into his side and resting your head on his shoulder. 

Only seconds after you get into this position, you feel Arthur’s arm winding around you. 

Is this real? Are you cuddling with Arthur Morgan? The Arthur Morgan? 

It feels real, and it feels right. 

Just as you’re beginning to truly appreciate the beauty of the lake and the forest, Arthur speaks up. 

“I was afraid places like this wouldn’t be around anymore.” 

“How do you mean?” 

“Well, in that city. It’s so big and loud and… unnatural. Mostly big though. I was beginning to think man had truly driven any kind of wildness out.” 

“Well, we mostly have. But we also know the value of places like this. If we destroy them, we destroy ourselves.” 

Arthur sighs and falls silent for a moment. When he speaks up again, he takes you off guard. 

“Thank you, darlin’. For bringin’ me here. This is the best kind of medication.” 

You look up at him and are about to say “you’re welcome” when you’re stopped by his smile, the light in his eyes. That’s one thing the game failed to do despite being so detailed and lifelike. It failed to capture how truly beautiful and alive his eyes are. 

Just as you’re about to speak, Arthur closes the few inches between your faces and places his lips on yours. 

To say your heart stops is an understatement. How long have you thought of doing this with him? Much longer than you’ve known him, that’s for sure. 

His lips are better than you could have ever imagined. They’re not chapped (though that might be because you introduced him to chapstick), but warm and alive. Your hand leaves his knee and slides up his chest and to his neck. 

His free hand does the same, gently settling on your back to bring you closer. 

After a few seconds, Arthur pulls away. “Sorry, darlin’. That was… unwarranted.” 

You blush and smile. “Arthur, did it feel like I didn’t want it?” 

He smiles back. “Then… would you mind for a second?” 

You answer him by bringing your lips right back to his. This one is more fervent, more sure. 

It’s during this kiss you really begin to appreciate him, his body. How he feels, how he smells. 

Though a lot of his wild scent has been tamed by your home, he still holds onto some of it. That hint of leather, gun powder, tobacco. It’s like it’s been ingrained into his very skin. 

You don’t know it, but Arthur is appreciating the way you smell and feel too. 

He’s longed to feel you pressed against him like this since not long after he first met you. Oh, how he wished to do something like this with you during that earthquake. 

When he’d held you in his arms that night, oh it had felt so right, so pure. So good that he knew he didn’t deserve it. 

But this. Kissing you, holding you, bathed in the shade and the perfume of the pines. It’s beyond perfect. 

He doesn’t care that he thinks he’s too bad of a man for someone as good and kind as you. He just wants to revel in this moment. 

You’re both still deep in the kiss when you hear voices approaching from down the trail, and some of them belong to children. 

The two of you quickly break apart, but not before the man in the family sees you both smooching. 

He gives you both a hearty wink while the mother looks rather disapproving as they pass. 

You can’t help but smile as you blush, still nestled in Arthur’s arm. 

He rubs your back soothingly while the family passes. 

After a short while, the two of you decide it’s time to head back to the car and go home. 

Arthur holds your hand every second, and even sometimes brings your hand to his lips. 

Towards the end of the walk, the boardwalk allows people to walk out to nearly the center of the lake to either fish or look down into the water. 

You and Arthur head down it, finding yourselves alone on the planks though people can be seen on the trail still. 

Once there, Arthur takes you in his arms and kisses you again. This surprises you as you always took him to be a very private man who was not a fan of pdo. 

However, he doesn’t seem to care in this moment. Neither do you, so you loop your arms around his neck and press yourself into the kiss. 

Arthur chuckles when the kiss ends. “Sorry, had to do that. The sun hit your hair, made it so pretty. Just… had to kiss ya.” 

You smile and kiss the tip of his nose. “You can kiss me any time you want, Mr. Morgan.”

[gunnerpalace]

Well, cupcake, you’re gonna die. Like, you’re just going to eventually die from something or other. It doesn’t really matter. So why bother with other things? You’re basically already dead since your death is inevitable, that’s it.

Huh, it’s almost like when you break everything down into teleological arguments (”Teleology or finality is a reason or explanation for something as a function of its end, purpose, or goal”) everything becomes pointless and loses any nuance since you have assumed the conclusion is the only thing that matters. It’s also like in the process you discard any explanatory power regarding that thing, because “it happened because it happened.”

Surprise, that’s also a logical fallacy known as begging the question:

In classical rhetoric and logic, begging the question is an informal fallacy that occurs when an argument's premises assume the truth of the conclusion, instead of supporting it. It is a type of circular reasoning: an argument that requires that the desired conclusion be true. This often occurs in an indirect way such that the fallacy's presence is hidden, or at least not easily apparent.

I think that’s all self-evident, but I wish to continue on, because you know, honestly, the gall of you people. The audacity. The nerve. The sheer fucking balls on you to come in with this kind of fucking bullshit.

You have a manga where Ichigo outright tells Shinji, “I’m not one of you, I’m a Shinigami,” and goes to ask Yamamoto for Ginjou’s corpse because he was “merely a substitute Shinigami.”

And you people go, “Derp derp, Ichigo is a human!”

You have the battle on the dome of Las Noches, which is the most mentally scarring episode in Ichigo’s life after the death of his mother, caused by the sheer fucking arrogance and hubris of Orihime, which causes Ichigo to lose faith in his powers, with Tensa Zangetsu later showing Ichigo that his despair takes the form of Karakura itself.

And you people go, “Derp derp, Ichigo would love to stay in Karakura for the rest of his life!”

You have Orihime wondering if maybe rain connects two people like the heavens and earth, and you have Ichigo taking rain to mean depression and alienation from his desires, meaning that they could not have more different perspectives.

And you people go, “Derp derp, they’re connected by the rain!”

And on. And on. And on. You don’t understand Ichigo whatsoever. Nor, really, do you understand Orihime, but that is a more complex matter to demonstrate.

Regardless, at last, when every single argument you have made is refuted, when every single position you have staked out is shown to be bullshit of one sort or another, be it a misunderstanding or an outright fabrication, here you are at last with this ultimate piece of bullshit, “Derp derp, well none of it matters anyway.”

As I said in my last angry missive, this is exactly like the apologetics of Trump supporters and enablers.

First the Republicans say, “Well, Trump didn’t do what you’re accusing him of.”

Then the Republicans say, “Well, Trump didn’t understand that what you’re accusing him of was wrong.”

Then the Republicans say, “Well, Trump did the thing but it doesn’t rise to the standard of serious misconduct.”

Finally, the Republicans say, “Yeah, Trump did the thing, but it doesn’t matter and it’s not a big deal.”

This is called moving the goalposts. You are all also engaged in it all the time.

And here you are, at the final step, going, “Well, none of that previous shit we argued matters because Ichigo still wound up with Orihime, so there!” as though you don’t realize that you have undermined literally every other argument you’ve ever made as to why that happened.

You have essentially admitted that IH was never substantiated in the body of the text. That is to say, you admit that it was all in your head. And you say, well, it doesn’t matter, because that was the final result. But what you’re really hoping for is that the simple, supposedly devastating fact of it will distract from that continuing, nagging question: if there was no substantiation of Ichigo being interested in Orihime, why did he wind up with her? You desperately want to gloss that over. You desperately want to ignore it.

Because you desperately don’t want to admit that the only reason it happened was to make as thorough of a downer ending as possible. You only “got” what you “wanted” out of spite on the part of Kubo. And he didn’t care about you, which is why he gave you nothing. You didn’t get a proposal, you didn’t get a wedding ceremony, you didn’t even get an “I like you,” let alone an “I love you.” you didn’t get a single touching moment. You got nothing, other than, as one of your predecessors put it, evidence that “they fucked” in the form of Kazui.

And here we are, three and a half years later, with you all continuing to desperately build up a logical house of cards on that one bit of evidence, “they fucked,” to try and transmute the shit ending you got too into some kind of vindication of your beliefs. You have twisted and deliberately misunderstood these characters you supposedly like to justify the conclusion you wanted. And here, at long last, you have thrown away the very last vestiges of persuasive logic or reasoning to simply declare, “Well, what happened, happened, and that’s all that matters.”

You know, I don’t write to IH supporters. I don’t go into their inboxes, anonymously or not, and try to convince them that they’re wrong. In fact, I know people who ship IH. I largely leave them alone regarding it. Most of them like it for aesthetic reasons. But the thing is, they never tie themselves up into knots trying to justify it like you people who come into my inbox do, trying to proselytize like Jesuits converting the natives. They never push it. And so while I don’t agree with them, and their aesthetic preferences do not make sense to me (either from a purely aesthetic standpoint, or in the face of substantive opposition by the body of the text) I also don’t really care to make a big deal out of it, because unlike politics, shipping preferences do not really much matter in sussing out someone’s character.

Y’all, however, just cannot abide any disagreement. And so you go out with your Mickey Mouse terror tactics, trying to impose your “truth” upon the world like an even more amateur-hour version of the Proud Boys.

It’s a joke. Your arguments and logic are a joke. Your understanding of the text is a joke. Your activity as a community is a joke. Your consistency is a joke. Your moral backbone is a joke. Your bravery is a joke.

You’re a joke.

So remember, cupcake: お前はもう死んでいる. You are already dead. Why bother with other things, you’re gonna die and that’s it. So nothing you say matters and I don’t have any more time to talk to skeletons. Get out of my inbox forever.

[fatgirlsguidetodating]

My bullying hell.

NOTE: I know this isn’t a dating piece (I’m working on a couple of blog posts at the moment though) but I went walking near my old school, which has been demolished for housing although there’s a fight to make it parkland instead, and it brought back memories. I know most of us get bullied for something. For me that was often my weight but in this case it was more. I think this is why I can be so insecure, and sometimes too sensitive and needy. I contemplated changing initials on the off chance any found my blog or twitter but decided not to. Not once did they display an iota of regret. Even as adults they acted like mean girls do you know what, fuck them.

I know that for many people high school can be hell in parts. I know that many kids have been bullied in school. For me that part was almost the entire year of 8th grade, a year so horrible that I regularly contemplated killing myself, cried myself to sleep most nights, woke in the morning crying because God (despite my not believing in God) hadn't answered my prayers to let me just die, and just generally was completely and utterly miserable and totally alone. I remember one day, with my usual puffy red eyes in the morning, thinking how if it were possible that we only get a certain quota of tears in our lifetime that I must surely have used up a shitload of them. I remember mum, in tears with me, having to practically drag me to school. I remember countless meetings with the school social worker, the year co-ordination, the vice principal and mum. All this was because it had been decreed by the popular girl of the class that I was persona non grata. Nobody was allowed to talk to me in class or out of class- unless it was to say something cruel like about how I was fat. That was allowed. Tripping me over was allowed. Knocking my bag or books over so I had to pick everything up was allowed. Pulling my school dress or skirt up to laugh at my fat arse in front of the boys was allowed. But nice things? No.

There were only 2 people who went against this. On one occasion one of the boys who I had also gone to primary school with asked me if I was ok? Such small words. I managed to nod, unable to speak past the lump in my throat. "Hang in there," he said. "It'll blow over." I had to hide my face behind my then long hair so he- and nobody- saw my tears. That one simple act of kindness meant more than he will ever know.

The second was when one of the girls I used to hang around with before the decree returned a book she borrowed from me. Her little sister had made a mess of the book. She offered to buy me another one to replace it. I said it was fine. I didn't need to be hated anymore than I was. She left me a note inside the book apologising and signing it with xoxo. I remember thinking how hollow it was given she hadn't spoken to me in a few months. But at the same time I appreciated it.

How did this happen? In an absolutely ridiculous fashion.

Something mean was written about me on a table: it said, in essence, my name is X and 1) I want to be TC’s girlfriend (ironic as he was my best friend), 2) GW’sbest friend , 3) I never have showers and I think there MAY have been a fourth one but I can't for the life of me remember what it said. I think I blocked a lot of that year out. My minds way of protecting myself I guess, like people often do for traumatic events.

As an adult I can say they were relatively benign statements but as a 14 year old they weren't. The thing was the popular girl, LA (now LH) decided that I had written them about myself. (Seriously!) Her reasoning: it looked "kinda" like my handwriting (it didn't) and it looked like it was written by my pen (one owned by something like half the class including, ironically, her). Interestingly a few months later one of the popular girls told me that she had seen her coming out of that classroom at one of the break tones not long before it was discovered. I'll never know who did it but the simple fact that the popular girl said it was me meant that naturally the class agreed with her.

So when she said nobody was to talk to me they all just did it. Not a single person stood up for me. I have felt lonely at many, many times in my life (haven't we all) but the loneliness of that one moment will never ever be forgotten. Even now I feel literally sick as I remember that moment. It was like one of those movies where you wake up from a dream and everyone's gone, and you are all alone. Or a dream where you suddenly become invisible and no matter how much you scream and jump up and down and wave your hands you remain invisible.

I had hoped that maybe my friends would have stuck up for me. I would even have taken them doing it not publicly but privately if they were too scared to disobey or too ashamed to be my friend in front of the popular girl and her best friend JB (now JI) my two tormentors. Like still hanging out with me at lunch and recess. The popular girl wouldn't know after all. But no. Even the girls I had hung with pretty much since the start of school when we'd made friends with me followed and I was suddenly cut off from everyone, completely and utterly alone....

There are some things that stand out from the next eight or so months, things beyond the pain and loneliness. Moments where the bullying was worse than the usual daily taunts. Like the time they soaked a bunch of tampons in water so they became nice and big and ran around the corner and threw them all at me. Because I found a spot to sit and have my lunch all alone day in day out. Technically, being at the front side of the school, near the road, it was out of bounds but I didn't care. On rainy days I got a bit wet but I didn't care- I even thought well maybe I'll get pneumonia and even if I don't get lucky enough to die from it I could get some time off school, away from my living hell. Sometimes I'd eat quickly- prompting comments from the girls about how fat people like me ate too quick- and then go to the library to hide in a corner and read. Being a bookworm over those eight or so months I got through even more books that I ever imagined I could.

I was trying to eat healthy (I was on a diet which, lets face it, I have been on for most of my life!) and I often had those little tubs of two fruits in my lunch. The girls would sneak around and laugh at my lunch. I'd be tripped over, had leftover bits of food thrown at me, was called fat and ugly so many times that even now I say it about myself and actually mean it. One day after PE I discovered my watch had been stolen from the box we put all our special items in. It was a Mickey Mouse watch I got from Disneyland that played music. I was devastated. These girls that I speak of were- surprisingly- not my two tormentors, the instigator of it all, but my former friends. I think that these girls, and the few boys who sometimes hung out with them, were actually crueler to me than the popular girl and her friend. I could never understand that. I still don't.

For almost eight months my mum battled with the school to have me moved to another form but they kept saying that the numbers were at maximum in each form. I offered at one point to take a lie detector test to prove I hadn't written those things. I spent way too many hours in the social workers office in tears.

At one point all of a sudden one of the boys started being nice to me. I lapped up the kindness, kind of like how an abused dog will still always want their masters approval. Every kind word was like a balm on my soul. He'd come and sit with me sometimes at lunch and we would talk and laugh. It was only when someone slipped a note in my locker- I suspect the girl who returned the book- telling me that he had been given a dare by the two tormentors to get me to sleep with him. Needless to say the next time he came to see me I said to him "I know what you're doing. I know it's a dare and you've been telling them everything I said!" (Probably one of the only times in my life I stood up for myself.) He didn't even look ashamed or guilty, he laughed and said "well I wouldn't sleep with a fat four eyes like you for no reason. You are pretty dumb for believing it." Perhaps the saddest thing was the fact that I contemplated not telling him I knew. Oh I wouldn't have gone so far as to sleep with him knowing what I knew but to just continue the ruse for awhile because he provided the only conversation in school hours, the only kindness, in all the pain and loneliness. But, ultimately, I knew being alone was better than living a lie.

My persona non grata status didn't extend to just my class. All the popular kids knew not to talk to me and to make fun of me or even spit on me if I walked past. One of them even tripped me up on the top of the stairs so I went flying down them, landing on my side so hard it was bruised and hard to breathe for ages. I never told on them. I knew that "dobbing" would just make my life worse. Though how they could have made it worse than that I will never know.

The worst moment was when I actually did attempt to kill myself. This is something I haven't ever told a single soul. My mum only found out I had wanted to kill myself a few months ago- not that I attempted it a couple of times- and she was devastated. But I never told her at the time because I saw how much it pained her to see me so unhappy. I couldn't burden her anymore. The night it happened was a Sunday night, the night before school started again for the new term. I was pretty naive. It was pre-Internet which, in retrospect is probably a good thing because had Google existed back then I would have found a way to do it. I took a packet and a half of Panadol. I thought surely that was enough. It wasn't. Not only did I not die, but I simply woke up the next morning feeling like absolute shit.

The turning point came about seven months in. A chance encounter in the library with one of the girls I'd gone to primary school with and I told her about what my life was like. She was horrified and said I could come and hang with her friends sometimes. Not all the time, she said, because they wouldn't like that but sometimes. I probably should have thought it a strange offer but needless to say at the time a little bit was better than nothing. So maybe two or three times a week at lunch mainly I would go and hang with them. I didn't really say much. I had always been shy but my ordeal had made me even more so. When people came up behind me and stuck crap down the back of my top or yelled "boo fatty four eyes" suddenly I would jump a mile. If I saw one of my two tormentors or any of their friends I would instantly start shaking waiting for what they would do or say this time. They soon learnt they didn't even need to speak, just look at me, and I'd be affected. So when my school friend said to me that I couldn't really hang out with them anymore because the others thought I was stuck up (because I didn't speak much) I didn't feel much emotion. It seemed to me that it was perfectly right. Why WOULDN'T they reject me too? Who would even WANT to be friends with someone like me?

Finally, FINALLY, after eight months battling the school by mum they let me move classes. Not to the form I wanted to go in as by then I had made a couple of friends through my childhood male best friend who lived a few houses up and I had known since we were three and who I spent most weekends and school holidays with along with my brother and his younger sister who were in the same year, but a new one nonetheless.

It was the middle of second period, I think, that I was moved. The class were in the science block so I'm guessing it was a science class but I can't quite remember. The year level co-ordinator took me in there and just said, "X is in this class now. She's been given the class schedule." Of course everyone turned to look at me curiously. I slipped into a seat in the back of the room and put my head down. At the desk next along from me were three girls. At one point they said my name and I looked up and asked "yes?" I was given a withering look. "I wasn't talking to you. X here has the same name as you." I was told.

The next period those three girls asked me to sit with them and asked plenty of questions. But then after lunch they told me they'd spoken to my main tormentor and knew who I was and what I did. Great, I remember thinking, I could never ever leave it behind me!

But, slowly, over the remaining few months in the year I began to make friends. There were four girls in my form who became my friends- to this day one of them remains one of my best friends- and from another form there were another two. The six of them hung around together and, as time went on, I became part of their group. There were another few girls in the form who sometimes came to hang out with us.

I was with two of them (both had the same name and it also coincidentally happened to be the name of my main tormentor) one day walking across the courtyard when my tormentor and her best friend (the girl who had been one of my close friends for years before this all happened and who's friendship with me seemed to threaten my main tormentor for some reason before the table incident) suddenly appeared. Apparently someone had written something in chalk in the girls toilet near the year ten common room (or it may have been year twelve then, I can't remember when the merger happened) about her and I was blamed. One of the girls stood up for me, pointing out there were many with her name including my two new friends. But no. It was definitely about her because it had her last initial or name. She tried to get in my face, telling me she knew it was me and I had mental problems etc but my two new friends basically stood in front of her. They were a bit tough and told her that she'd have to go through them to get to me. She chose to walk away.

Though she did get the popular girls in my class to make extra fun of me for a bit but all of a sudden it was water off a ducks back because I had my new friends. They did try and get them to abandon me, telling them what I had done but I'd already told them my side and all the pain- though I had edited it because it was too raw to tell the whole truth, in all its intricate and painful details that soon- and the attempts failed.

Soon it was summer and I spent much of it with my new friends.

In the next school year my old friends and my tormentors still would make smart comments or something when I walked past but the more I ignored it, the more I showed no reaction, the less they did it though it never totally stopped throughout my whole time at high school.

Teenagers can be cruel and girls I think the cruelest of the bunch. Sure teenage boys can be cruel too but girls are bitchy and that is much worse in my opinion. Boys might have a fight and then it's done with. Girls will just bitch and snipe and make you miserable. My tormentors never said sorry, never acknowledged I didn't do it. I occasionally see their names pop up as comments on mutual friends posts on Facebook and I look at their profiles and see how perfect their lives seem. Both are married, one has two kids, one has one. I wonder, when I see them, how it's fair that they get the perfect life and I don't. There is no sign of karma having ever gone their way for what they did to me. As for the girls who were my friends before the decree, I'm Facebook friends with a couple of them. We never really spoke again at school. But, with school far behind us and time dulling some of the bad memories and letting most people look back at their school days as the halcyon days of youth, and remember the good times not the bad, a couple of them are friends on Facebook. Only one have I ever really caught up with but another two I do talk to sometimes on there.

I do believe that, to this day, it has affected me. Just writing this is affecting me: for instance I'm feeling a bit sick, my hands are a bit shaky, and I feel like I want to have a bit of a cry. (Yes- I still have tears left despite those eight long months. The human body can be, I think, up to 65% water. I swear back then my percentage was much lower because of my nightly crying myself to sleep.) But I feel good having written this, having gotten one of my stories off my chest. Sure there are others in my life I may talk about in the future but this is one that shaped me. For instance I know I can be a bit of a needy friend, wanting to see friends more often, wondering when I haven't heard from them in a certain amount of time if I've been replaced or done something to make them angry or upset. I take things way too personally, am far too sensitive about things said or done, I overthink things. And I have no self-confidence at all. I don't see the good in me. Outside or in. When someone gives me a compliment my first reaction is to laugh at them. Especially if they say something positive about my body. I look at them and I say, "are you blind?"

If you take anything from my story please let it be this: kindness doesn't cost a thing and just a little bit can truly make a major difference in someone's life. Bullying- whether it's a child, teenager or even an adult- can really fuck someone's life up. And words- like fat four eyes- can do just as much damage, in fact I would argue MORE than hands. Words CAN hurt. Words can linger in a person's mind years and years after they have been said. They can affect the way they live their life and choices they make. They can reverberate in a person's brain for years. So please be kind. And if you are lucky enough to have kids teach them that too. Because- especially with the proliferation of social media in our lives- words can lead to people taking their lives. That stupid little childhood singsong retort to insults "sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me" is a load of utter bullshit. Words- just like actions- can kill. Bullying can kill.

[homeforchristmas-au]

Character bios/descriptions

Here’s some descriptions of the sides in this au cos i wanna talk about them like all day lol

Patton Sanders (formerly Shepard):

Age: 29

Pronouns: he/him

Height: 5’6”

Straight chestnut brown hair, chocolate brown eyes, hint of a tan but nothing too extreme, rectangular glasses with black frames, usually wears clothes that are comfortable (especially oversized jumpers), loves wearing beanies (often steals Logan’s, who hesitantly allows it) (mostly cos he’s really freaking cute in them)

Really good with kids (ofc) and is such a people person, but can get shy around older people (specifically men old enough to be his dad)

Very good at reading emotions and knowing what people need, whether it’s a hug or alone time

Has asthma, but it’s not nearly as bad as it used to be

Is an only child to a mother and father, but ended up running away cos his dad became really overly aggressive

His uncle on his mothers side is Emile, who is married to Thomas, and they both took Patton in once it became clear that emiles sister and her husband were unfit parents (although Patton’s mom was much better with Patton and actually helped him run away) which was when he had his last name changed to Sanders

He met Logan when he ran away and they both went to emile and Thomas’s house together (I actually wrote the story of how they met for 25 Days of Ficmas on my main blog uwu)

They started out as friends for a long time until Patton found himself falling for Logan, who revealed that he had been crushing on Patton for quite some time

Their relationship started out rocky as neither of them knew exactly how to date (theyd dated other people before, they were just remarkably bad at it) but they made it through in the end

Logan Sanders (formerly Adams):

Age: 28

Pronouns: he/him

Height: 5’11”

Curly, light brown hair, amber eyes, moderately fair skinned, a lot of freckles on his face and arms, round glasses with silver frames, dresses much differently depending on if he’s home or in public - at home he’ll wear T-shirts and casual lounge pants and beanies and stuff, but in public typically sticks with a polo shirt and jeans, sometimes with a necktie depending on the setting

Has a tendency to put up a cold exterior around strangers or when in a public setting, but around loved ones he’s much more relaxed and casual, but still usually struggles to express his feelings.

He’s an amazing father, although sometimes he doubts this despite how much his kids absolutely adore him (he also has a tendency to doubt his own intelligence, even though he’s incredibly smart)

Is autistic, on the high functioning end of the spectrum, and has worked with professionals for basically his whole life to work on reading social cues and such, which he’s much better at now

Has three younger sisters - from oldest to youngest, Ellen, Renae, and Ashley. Logan being the oldest sibling, he’s always felt quite protective of his sisters. Can and will physically fight the whole planet for them

Their father died when Logan was 16. He was completely distraught over this and ran away from home. It was the most reckless, impulsive thing he’d ever done, but he doesn’t regret it for a single second, because that was how he met the love of his life

He did end up going back home to his family, because he knew they needed him

Virgil Sanders:

Age: 4 (birthday December 19)

Pronouns: he/him

Height: idk however tall four year olds are

Floppy black hair, gunmetal blue eyes, about as pale as a vampire, always wearing something purple (most notably the light purple polo shirt Logan couldn’t resist getting him, as well as his dark purple jumper that’s a size too big)

He’s fairly shy, though Patton and Logan tend to avoid calling him as such (they typically say introverted), but once he warms up to new people he’s a delight (it took him quite some time to fully trust Janus, but even from day one it was clear they connected on some level). He adores insects and arachnids, and much to Patton’s dismay, his favourite is spiders. He wants to be an entomologist when he grows up, but he can never remember the word for it, so he says “bug scientist”

Is suspected to be autistic but has yet to be tested for it

He was adopted by Patton and Logan when he was an infant. His mother was sixteen years old and had to give the baby up, due to her parents insistence, plus she knew she was unfit anyway, and it didn’t help that the father completely abandoned her. Patton and Logan matched with her in the adoption process when she was three months pregnant and it was quite the journey from start to finish

Roman & Remus Sanders:

Age: 8 (birthday June 14)

Pronouns: both he/him

Height: uh average

Both fairly tanned having spent over half their childhood in the sunlight, Roman has short dark mahogany brown hair and forest green eyes, Remus has longer, curly dark mahogany brown hair with jade green eyes, they both have dark freckles, Roman’s mostly on his cheeks while Remus’s are basically all over his body, and Remus has a gap in his extremely crooked teeth as well as green braces. Roman has all manner of Disney apparel, but he especially loves wearing his white Mickey Mouse shirt with the long red sleeves, and he’s also unafraid to wear traditionally “feminine” clothes like dresses and skirts. Remus... prefers not wearing clothes at all honestly but Logan and Patton insist on it, so he tries to wear as few clothes as possible, usually his neon green tank top and dark brown cargo shorts

They’re very different from each other but they do have similarities and can work well together. They pretty much never admit it but they do love each other despite their differences and near constant bickering.

They’re both dramatic, but in somewhat different ways. Roman is dramatic in that way that’s like “I’m literally tinkerbell because you have to give me attention or I’ll die”, while Remus is more like “this little tiny thing inconvenienced me so I’m gonna overreact and formulate murder plans against whoever/whatever dare make my life unbearably difficult”. They’re also both very creative, but of course they have different views on creativity (I doubt I need to get into specifics). They also both love Disney, but roman is more into classic Disney while Remus prefers Pixar

They both seem to exhibit traits of ADHD but haven’t been tested for it yet

They were around three years old when their mom and dad both died in a car accident. It was two years after that that Patton and Logan decided to adopt them both, despite only planning on adopting one child. Virgil was a year old at this time, and they wanted an older kid, and they ended up with two. And really that was fine by them, they just knew that this was it; no more kids, at least for a little while

Janus REDACTED

Age: 15 (birthday February 3)

Pronouns: he/him/they/them

Height: 5’7”

Medium length light golden brown hair, two different coloured eyes (right - cognac, left - chartreuse), fair skinned with a red birthmark taking up most of the left side of his face, missing right leg where he had to get an above-the-knee amputation, which causes him to need forearm crutches, he usually wears clothes that cover as much of his body as possible, and he oftentimes - if not constantly - wears foundation and concealer to hide his birthmark, although Patton and Logan insist it’s not necessary

He tends to avoid people when possible, since he’s developed quite the trust issues over the years. Going from foster home to foster home has made it difficult to allow himself to get close with anyone. In spite of this, he always seems to find himself bonding with the kids in his foster families. Especially the Sanders family when they first took him in (their original plan was to simply foster him... that plan fell through as they very quickly decided they wanted him to be part of their family)

Overall they’re a sarcastic cynic with a knack for storytelling, and while they seem cold and reserved on the outside, completely uncaring about the world around them, really deep down they just want to feel loved by someone, they want to feel accepted and like they’re really part of a family, like they’re actually wanted

They developed a bit of trauma from their birth family situation but a lot of it has been worked out, although they still have issues to work through even after all this time

They were ten when their dad got blackout drunk, forced them and their mom into the car, and started driving. Janus still has no idea where he was trying to go, but they never made it. They got into a monumental car accident, and Janus was lucky they made it out alive, although it costed them their leg. Their mother died unfortunately and their father was on life support last they heard. They never found out if he woke up or if he was taken off of it, so they have no idea if their dad is dead or alive. They tell themself they don’t care, they don’t wanna know either way, but they do. They feel like they shouldn’t, since their dad hurt them and got their mom killed, but they did have fond memories of their dad, which made the entire situation that much worse

So yeah on the happiest of notes there’s the main fam-ILY!!! :,)

I might continue this post with descriptions of the entire extended family, who knows!!!! :D (let me know if I missed anything in the tags btw, although I reached the limit so oof if I did)

[guynamedultimax]

Smash Characters and people who main them

So, I was thinking about who mains certain Smash characters. Aaaand I got these ideas.

Mario: Probably Mickey Mouse. Or Emmet from the Lego Movie franchise idk

DK: Surely not King Kong because he has big hands and would break a Joy-Con just by touching it, not even a GameCube controller is safe. 100% Winston from Overwatch is the candidate, even better if he takes the blue DK skin lol

Link: Sora. This one is easy as hell.

Samus: Tony Stark is the first option that comes to mind.

Dark Samus: And since Rhodes can’t use Samus, might as well use the OTHER Samus lol

Yoshi: It is canonically stated in Deltarune that Asriel Dreemurr mains him and loves him to death.

Fox: I’m not sure how a red pirate fox animatronic holds a Joy-Con or two but probably Foxy from FNAF is the perfect main here.

Pikachu: It’s either Agumon or Jibanyan, too easy. Also put Jibanyan in Smash Sakurai pls

Luigi: Probably Donald Duck to parallel Mickey, the only difference between the two would be that Donald has a short temper while Luigi is a cowardly lion (and the plumber-sailor thing)

Ness: *MEGALOVANIA AND GAME THEORY INTRO INTENSIFIES* Ok jokes aside I think John Egbert and/or Sans are good candidates as Smash main.

Captain Falcon: Raphael, the red turtle from the Teena- wait why am I explaining an obvious character. His bros collectively main another character.

Jigglypuff: D.Va, full stop. She is a bunny person but may also love a Jigglypuff (now I want a drawing of Hana hugging the Puff help me)

Peach: Sooo, let’s see...Mickey has Mario... Donald has Luigi... I think you know where I’m going with this one.

Daisy: OH GOD I JUST REALIZED THAT DAISY DUCK MAINS PRINCESS DAISY, IT’S A “HI I’M-DAISY-CEPTION!”

Bowser: Is there any drawing of Bowser cosplaying as Peg-Leg Pete and viceversa? I’d die for that, it would be hella funny, especially with Mario and Mick dying from laughter in the distance.

Ice Climbers: Hmmm...twins...you can use them to make icy puns...I KNOW! IT’S GEORGE AND FRED

Sheik: Literally any of the ninjas from Lego Ninjago, bonus points for Lloyd.

Zelda: I have literally no damn ide-oh wait. I can use literally any blonde Disney princess lol

Dr. Mario: Undecided between Sorcerer Apprentice!Mickey and Oswald the Lucky Rabbit

Pichu: Shogunyan makes the most sense to me. I don’t know a lot about any other Digimon so I’m sorry if I don’t have Digimon ideas for Pichu.

Falco: I don’t know why but the thought of Chica maining Falco makes me laugh. Not that I ship Fox and Falco, of course, but seeing my FNAF OTP using two best pals looks funny enough to me

Any Fire Emblem character that is not Robin or Corrin: I literally have no damn idea.

Young Link: The first one that came to mind was Kenny from South Park and I don’t know, don’t even ask me

Ganondorf: I can just see Gamora giving Thanos a copy of Smash for the Switch and him curbstomping people as Ganondorf

Mewtwo: I still think that Beerus is an AU version of Mewtwo. If Beerus wasn’t a lazy dickhead maybe he would have been similar to Mewtwo.

Mr. Game & Watch: Bendy. Just, Bendy. And not even moster Bendy, just, regular Bendy.

Meta Knight: I wonder how much does Bruce Wayne play Smash when he is not being Batman. Although it’s probably possible that his favourite is Brawl.

Pit: I can just see Tony Stark losing at Smash against Pit and saying: “Fuck you, Barton.” AHAHAHAHAH

Dark Pit: This is for Hawkeye post-Decimation. Sorry if u lost ur family pal. Really sorry. I wanna kick Thanos in the groin for this.

Zero Suit Samus: Of course Natasha Romanoff mains Zero Suit Samus. Fanservice girl for fanservice girl.

Wario: I know Roadhog isn’t greedy and doesn’t care a lot about money except for his fee from Junkrat but he looks like the perfect Wario main in my opinion.

Snake: A spy for a spy. The name is Snake. Solid Snake. *mashup of James Bond theme and Encounter plays in the distance*

Pokèmon Trainer: Literally Ash Ketchum is the only possible choice here.

Diddy Kong: Uuuuh, the Apes from Ape Escape. Yup.

Lucas: Ok listen up, it’s Darwin Watterson. A squishy adorable fish boi for an adorable psychic blondie kid. It’s the perfect matchup! Almost...(Thank god Ninten is not yet in Smash)

Sonic: Me. What, can’t I reclaim one of my mains? The fella here introduced me to gaming with Sonic Rivals on the PSP. Thank god I didn’t buy a PS3 or ‘06.

Dedede: King Candy from Wreck-It Ralph. At least before he reveals himself as the fucker known as Turbo.

Olimar: Keroro from Sgt. Frog. Don’t ask.

Lucario: Sasuke? Idk

R.O.B.: Shared between C-3P0, R2-D2 and BB-8. Easy.

Wolf: Idk Boris the Wolf? I really dunno I suck at this.

Toon Link: Happy from Fairy Tail. JUST LOOK AT HOW MUCH OF A CAT TOON LINK DOES LOOK LIKE

Villager: Chara from Undertale. I don’t need to explain this.

Mega Man: Give me any blue Power Ranger.

Wii Fit Trainer: Hard one. I have no idea help

Rosalina and Luma: IT’S TINKERBELL

Little Mac: *Rocky theme intensifies* ROCKYYYYYYYYYYY BALBOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAA

Greninja: Naruto full stop

Palutena: Cosmos from FF Dissidia.

Mii Fighters: The Xbox avatars. I think this one was pretty obvious.

Pac-Man: Donnie, Mikey and Leo all collectively main Pac. Best part they stop literally any attempt from Raph to spam Falcon Punches lol.

Robin: *Hedwig’s Theme intensifies*

Shulk:...Kirito?

Bowser Jr.: My other main, the one I use the most. For you, I shall summon the perfect main! *Lancer pops out from nowhere*

Duck Hunt: It’s Pluto. You know, Mickey’s dog? Jeez, why doesn’t Disney focus a little more on Pluto?

Ryu: KAME....HAME...HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Ken: *insert Vegeta reference here*

Cloud: FINAL FANTASY TIME, COME ON AND GRAB YOUR FRIENDS, WE’LL GO TO VERY DISTANT LAANDS, WITH JAKE THE DOG AND FINN THE CLUD STRIFE MAIN- ok enough I think you understood the reference.

Corrin: Danaerys Tyrgaryen. Did...did I write that right? I really dunno

Bayonetta: *Insert Dante quote here*

Inkling: de Blob. You...you don’t know de Blob? You should go check that game, it’s fire.

Ridley: Smaug. I know, I’m out of ideas.

Simon: Van Helsing, of course.

Richter: ...I HATE WHEN i AM OUT OF IDEAS

King K. Rool: Does Godzilla count? Or is he a King Kong issue? Ok no wait, any member from the Croc tribe of Legends of Chima is fine

Isabelle: Lucy Heartphilia, easy.

Incineroar: Ok, listen up, before I get in this one, I DO NOT SHIP ISABELLE WITH INCINEROAR. That being said.....Natsu. I can just imagine him and Lucy playing Smash in such an intense way while Happy just plays calmly and beats both lol

Pirahna Plant: Actually the first one that came to mind and gave me the idea for this post. Pennywise the Dancing Clown. Cause, you know, teeth.

Joker: Robin Hood. I know Joker is not an archer user but the gentleman thief thing is there after all

Sorry for the long post, here is the word “potato”. See ya next time and if you have any ideas for missing characters I’d be glad to get them

[uni6bebe-blog]

Day6 Reaction: Your first kiss

Request: hi! i love your writing. can i request a day6 reaction to your first kiss? thank you!

A/N: consider your wish granted! thanks for requesting & supporting my writing!

Warnings: cuteness

Jae Jaehyung

Your first kiss with Jae happened before you guys were even officially together. It had kind of just happened, and it all felt really natural as well.

You guys had the type of relationship that made everyone think you guys were already a couple. You were constantly told to ‘just date already’ by the other members, but you guys had an unspoken agreement. It was like you had this connection that you could never really describe, it almost seemed pointless to make anything set in stone. 

You guys were just having a chill day, it’d been a little since you last saw him since he was in Korea for awhile. To say you missed him was an understatement.

A whole bunch of fattening foods spread out everywhere on the table and on the floor in front of you, and Netflix. It wasn’t anything new for the two of you seeing how most of your bonding consisted of crying over cheesy movies together.

You had your head on his lap while he had his feet propped up on the table. While you were in the middle of babbling about how stupid the main character was Jae bent down and cupped your face, softly kissing you.

It was simple and sweet and didn’t last very long but it was enough to make butterflies erupt in your stomach and your cheeks to go pink.

Your hands flew up to your face to cover up the affect he had on you. 

“I knew you liked me, I mean who doesn’t, look at me.”

And just like that, Jae ruined the moment.

Sungjin

Your first kiss with Sungjin happened on your second date together when he took you to a ice skating rink with him.

He knew that you really couldn’t skate but that’s what was fun for him. Sungjin found it really cute to see you slip and slide everywhere, is that a little sadistic? Maybe, but he doesn’t really care.

He purposely chose a day where he knew the rink would be less busy so you guys wouldn’t have to worry about others.

The whole time you had a tight grip on his arm as you cautiously skated at a slow pace. If only you could see the way Sungjin was looking at you, it was like the whole universe was right in front of his eyes.

In that moment he was really happy that you had even given him a chance to let you be his.

In the midst of your fear he turned your face towards him and brought your lips together. You slowly melted against him moving your lips along with his, basking in the moment.

Brian Youngk

Literally a fluff ball but only for you. 

It was unrequited love type of situation between the two of you. He fawned over you at night when he laid in bed. He wanted to hold your hand and cradle you in his arms, but this was simply a dream. You didn’t feel that way towards him, never and never will.

At least that is what he had convinced himself.

Brian was probably the smartest person that you knew but he didn’t catch on to things easy, one of those things being your obvious attempts to flirt with him. 

After weeks of trying to get Brian to notice your efforts, even going as far as to send him flowers with a card containing all your feelings, you got nothing but a short text from Jae saying he had been blamed for the gift. Brian was so caught up in the fact you couldn’t possibly have feelings for him that he completely rejected the thought of the flowers even coming from your hands. 

Jae MUST’VE been pranking him since he was the only one who knew of his feelings towards you.

You couldn’t stand it anymore, you were borderline pissed. You had taken all this time to try and get Brian to see and yet to no avail! You were at a loss, maybe things were just not meant to go past being friends in your relationship. You had decided to give it one last shot, inviting Brian over for “dinner”, which was more or less going to be an interrogation.

You went all out cooking all his favorite things, cleaning your whole apartment, because if your chances with him were gonna die you at least wanted to have pride while it happened. 

Everything was all fun and games until you guys were half passed out on the couch in your living room after having eaten what felt like a whole kitchen. When this happened you decided to get serious about your original objective, but you had no clue where to start the conversation.

Brian was spewing on and on about how you needed to watch the latest Netflix original and you felt something inside you snap watching his lips move.

Before you could bring yourself back to your senses your lips were on his, moving messily and greedily out of all your frustration. 

He tasted like a weird mixture of meat and Cherry Coke as he instantly responded eagerly to your mouth.

You wrapped your arms around his neck pulling him closer as you swung your legs over his lap, straddling him.

You pulled away from the sloppy kiss, you arms still hooked around his neck, staring at him with dazed eyes. Something about his lips on yours felt almost like a sort of high.

“Why did you do that?” Brian asked, his lips swollen and red, his eyebrows furrowed in confusion making him look sort of like a lost puppy dog.

“Because I’m the one who sent the flowers you idiot, how can someone possibly be so dense!”

wow this one was hella long i’m so sorry! aha

Wonpil

Your first date with Wonpil was so special, almost to the point of magical. 

Wonpil had planned to take you to Disneyland for your first date, he knew of your fascination with all things Disney. It reminded you of the simple and sweet things in life, not only that but the positive parts of life, he loved that about you. 

When he was down, you were always like a bright shining light to him, so he found himself always wanting to see you smile.

The whole day was pure and almost a little bit cliche, but everything between the both of you felt so natural and vibrant. 

Both of you never wanted the date to end, and the ending was definitely bitter sweet.

While dropping you off at your front door step Wonpil found the perfect opportunity to kiss you. Your mickey mouse ears were slightly tilted on your head and as he went to adjust the ears back into place, your eyes locked and you both realized just how close you guys were to each other. His eyes flicked to your lips and then back up to your eyes, in that moment you could have sworn you could hear your heartbeat in your ears. 

Wonpil slowly moved his hands from your hat to softly caressing your cheeks with the pads of his thumbs.

“Can I kiss you?” He softly asked, his eyes locked with yours as you slowly nodded your head.

“Of course”

Wonpil smiled softly as he closed the distance between you two, gently placing his lips on yours.

Your lips slowly moved in sync as one of his hands slipped to your waist inching you a bit closer to him.

The kiss was in no way heated and only lasted for a few seconds but you could definitely tell that your cheeks were a rosey color by now.

“I’m so glad I got to spend the day with you” you whispered

Dowoon

It’s kind of like girl code to never go after your friends crush, right?

But what if your friends crush just so happens to be yours as well? What if you know your friend only wants them just to be able to say they have them? What if said friend doesn’t see the way that his eyes twinkle when he sees dogs, or see the way his nose crinkles in disgust at the taste of anything remotely bitter? 

What would you do if your friend was never known to be the nicest person alive, but rather someone rather narcissistic and manipulative?

In those moments when you sat in your dimly lit room, you racked your brain for the reason why you were even her friend. Because you had been ever since you were kids? It was almost like an obligation. 

You were never one to talk much, you always let her do the talking, you always let her have what she wanted and never complained.

What if for once you wanted just ONE thing she also wanted?

That thing had a name, a name that felt almost like silk rolling off your tongue - Dowoon. 

The sweet and cutely shy boy that had moved in a house down from yours. The boy who didn’t seem like it, or act like it, but was actually in the grade above you.

Perhaps you had just been unlucky when he was assigned your math tutor, or maybe you were having a lucky streak.

Your friend seemed to be pretty enamored over the fact that she was supposedly struggling more than you in math. That she didn’t get the chance for a tutor let alone Dowoon as hers.

It sounded like a mosquito constantly buzzing around your head with how much she liked to complain about the damn sessions that you and Dowoon now had. 

She was now walking a fine line with you; it was like all of your anger towards her from over the years was just boiling over the surface.

You and Dowoon actually got along quite well and you soon came to realize that he was more than just cute or shy. He was probably the most genuinely interesting person you had ever had the pleasure of meeting. 

Things got quickly comfortable between the two of you, and you started to meet up for just each others company rather than just knowledge.

When you found yourself on Dowoon’s couch with his lips softly pressed against yours as he delicately held onto your hips, it was kind of unsurprising.

An image of your friend quickly flashed through your brain as you caressed Dowoon’s face, but in that moment you couldn’t be bothered to even care.

ミ★ wow this took forever again, are we surprised? nopeeeeee. but soon i’ll be uploading a got7 version of this!

also my friend and I spent like 5 minutes trying to figure out the right way to say laid? like is it laid or layed or lay or lain or lie WHAT? i don’t know so you get what you get.

[thechurchillreview]

Contains minor SPOILERS.

Cala Maria gif courtesy of @casioonaplasticbeach​.

The debut game of Studio MDHR is the completely hand drawn 1930s cartoon inspired Cuphead for the Xbox One and PC. Particularly the Fleischer Studios short starring Bimbo known as Swing You Sinners! (1930). For example, Cagney Carnation’s idle animation is one a ghost has in it. A later significant donnybrook borrows from that cartoon’s aesthetic and characters too. There’s visual grain filter and simulated 24 fps too! There’s a deliberate color inconsistency between Cuphead’s design and the hues for his victory screen: a commonality found with older cartoons. An Inkwell Isle II boss character speaks with a Porky Pig inspired stutter whilst possessing a moniker close to a famous animator’s (Grim Natwick). Natwick, in real life, spoke with a stutter, making a double reference to cartoon history. 

As a cartoon fanatic and a seeker of run and gun games, I had to check out Cuphead for sure! 

On Xbox One. 

My name is OrchardBlossom. 

Cuphead has been in development for seven years and is the final result of seven people animating it is beyond mind blowing. Their names are Chad Moldenhauser, Danielle Johnson, @jake-clark, Thomas “Smo” Smolenski, @habihanna, Joseph Coleman, and Tina Nawrocki. Take a bow y’all! *Throws roses, kisses, glitter, and confetti* 

Cuphead, is, as cliche as it sounds, a dream come true for me. 

The moment I tried the Sony Imagesoft (publisher) and Traveller’s Tales (developer) Sega Genesis game Mickey Mania in the early 90s, I’ve been relentlessly searching and totally craving another release that utilized hand drawn animation that pulls from classic cartoons. In it, Mickey Mouse can toss marbles at foes and his HP that’s represented by fingers on his glove is 5. The player goes from left to right avoiding by jumping over or trouncing adversaries. Mickey Mania’s opening level is the culturally and genre significant Steamboat Willie (1928) and a later one is a favorite of mine known as The Lonesome Ghosts (1937). Often I’d avoid enemies and not proceed so I could soak in the game’s distinctive visual aesthetic for a second longer. Similarly, I’d prolong a couple of clashes in Cuphead for that very same reason. Despite never winning against the final fight in that damned The Prince and the Pauper (1990) stage, that Mickey Mouse game still retains a special place in my heart. In fact, when taking a slight break from Cuphead I fired up my Sega to only lose against Captain Pete…Again. 

25% of Cuphead features run and gun stages that bring to mind Mega Man, Contra, Gunstar Heroes, Metal Slug, and Super Ghouls ‘n Ghosts. Your introductory HP is 3 and can be higher if you sacrifice the strength of your weapons via purchased charms. Charms are bought using Coins found in levels and around the hub islands of Inkwell Isle.

With this currency, charms or weaponry can be bought at Porkrind’s Emporium. For instance, the Smoke Bomb Charm makes your dodge waaaay more efficient. The Coffee Charm is ideal for plane boss battles since you cannot make your Shrink dodge any better in them: this allows you to obtain Super Arts of powered up techniques faster. Cuphead’s basic projectile weapon is known as the Peashooter. The boomerang-like Roundabout is your best bet against most bosses if you’re adept at facing the opposite and firing it. Chaser is a weak homing weapon that’s perfect for boss battles that require both tricky and constant dodging (like the final phase of queen bee Rumor Honeybottoms). Experiment with your six firing weapon selections and find what’s the most comfortable for you though. Remember that Cuphead and Mugman can fire while ducking/moving and their firing angle can be adjusted. 

Likewise, in a plane, one can use the gun or bombs. I didn’t realize this until late in the game, ha ha! 

The remaining 75% of Cuphead consists of brimming with personality and creativity boss battles alongside some toe-tapping worthy jazz-infused tracks. Cuphead is a game that takes patience, analyzing patterns, learning to properly parry (leads to the capability of utilizing stronger weapon moves and Super Art techniques), knowing when to stop firing versus dodge some more, ducking, and changing your weapon set or Super Arts when necessary. Now, it is possible to hold down the fire button and switch between weapons on the fly. I personally found it overwhelming, an additional challenge of sorts, that made it increasingly harder to accurately concentrate during either run and gun stages and boss battles.

So, in Cuphead, you will die a lot. I guarantee it. I died 1111 times beating it on Normal mode alone. I didn’t give up nor go above 3 HP. It was immensely satisfying when I won against everything. 

But I feel this by design: the game’s mechanics are solid and each time I lost I didn’t blame Cuphead since everything is clear. Trial and error is in the game’s DNA. Controls aren’t an issue essentially. They’re quite responsive, so each failure unquestionably feels like my fault. If an attack or enemy isn’t pink, it cannot be parried, so it must be avoided or slain. The directions in which bosses bombard you don’t change at all (besides after a phase alteration where new moves are still very much broadcast)…The order isn’t consistent however. And my advice is to always stay on guard. Sometimes, the smartest attack is to wait though. 

Whenever you do lose, a progress bar is unveiled about how dismal or great your overall performance was. Along with a taunting quote from a boss. Like Wally Warbles, a Woody Woodpecker colored bird says, “Even without my feathers, you’re in for stormy weather!” Talk about adding insult to injury! This actually compelled me to keep going. I wasn’t deterred because I learned from my errors and mistiming mistakes until I won. I can defeat some of the initially seemingly impossible boss battles without taking a hit now. 

In short, Cuphead is tough yet fair in my eyes.

Alas where it falters most is the usage of two boys as our protagonists. I get that is supposed to be a homage to Mickey Mouse (with a hint of Felix the Cat?) and the long forgotten Oswald the Lucky Rabbit with each sporting said famous character’s colors/gloves. That’s cool I guess.

Still, not Cuphead and his sister? Because it isn’t like Betty Boop isn’t that famous or anything right? Or how about neither a guy or girl? They’re anthropomorphic characters with a cup and a mug for heads! Why solely men…?

Cuphead is a tale of owing a debt to the Devil through gambling. They are forced to collect soul contracts from the lives of others the Devil and Dice King’s casino have corrupted. Or lose their own lives instead as grisly punishment. The minimalist plot is conveyed through a excellently done storybook motif. I prefer Cuphead’s bro Mugman who told him to stop gaming when the Devil challenged him.

Mugman’s the one I never get to play as. XD

Yes, despite the game creators (Chad and Jared Moldenhaur, brothers) stating Cuphead wanted to avoided a damsel in distress narrative as the main one a.k.a. a retro concept that should stop being the norm. However, there’s a small juxtaposition between this and Cuphead writer Evan Skolnick. In Cuphead, women are unfortunately in short supply. The most prominent recurring one (Legendary Chalice) is literally trapped and has to be saved to unlock the powerful Super Art abilities located in the Inkwell Isle Mausoleums. I mean our introduction to her in the game is the word “HELP” with an exclamation mark for emphasis. Saving her grants you more useful Super Arts that assist in stage and boss fights, but aren’t necessary to beat the game. To achieve victory, the player must parry all of the spectral threats to release the straw-halo spirit from a repeated prison thrice times throughout the course of your journey. 

For some reason, a celebatory background statue of her can be seen in Rugged Ridge, suggesting her character was once one of considerable prominence in this game’s world (or storyline I suggest). My real query is why the Legendary Chalice has “legendary” in her name in the first place? So, why couldn’t she of been similar to a Great Fairy from the Legend of Zelda series then? As the protagonist Link, you locate the Great Fairy fountains and she gives you something for the effort. Or what if the Mausoleum parry challenges were meant to prove that Cuphead and Mugman are worthy to own the sacred Super Arts Legendary Chalice has in her possession?  

I sincerely wish her character’s background had been suitably expanded on. Like maybe she sees potential in them for completing the Mausoleums in Inkwell.  Perhaps her role in the game could of had more meaning? How it stands with Legendary Chalice simply plays into a classic video game trope I’ve always loathed. The damsel in distress the Moldenhauser bros tried to not use. 

Others women talk to you in the hub world or ask for assistance in some way. Like a fish fishing, for one! How wonderfully weird. Is she a cannibal by chance?

What remains are bosses. Ahem, how few there are that is, yeah. Out of twenty plus bosses only seven feature women with five being the actual focus.

The introduction to planes battle has Hilda Berg: an Olive Oly zeppelin that transforms into the constellations Taurus and Sagittarius (they are coded/drawn as men) during the fight. Another is a drunken martini glass that’s part of an alcoholic beverage trio you might contend with. The Domino mini-boss has two halves: the top is a hat and bow while the bottom is a skirt with that same bow serving as hers. This half has distinct lashes and red heels as well. There’s the Betty Boop sound effect laden Cala Maria, the gigantic mermaid seen in each trailer for the game’s release. Sally Stageplay is the most memorable for me with her battle taking place in a theatre with a live audience: it opens with a wedding and has her theatre husband in the background not contributing to the fight while trying to take care of a baby. There’s the aforementioned Rumor Honeybottoms, in an intense scenario which pushes you to your platforming and parrying limits. My favorite in terms of concept to execution is in the Inkwell Isle II level Sugarland Shimmy! She is called Baroness von Bon Bon. 

Here’s an intriguing fact: the singer for the seemingly masculine Cab Calloway influenced antagonist Dice King is sung by Alana Bridgewater (her vocals are fantastic!).

All in all, I recommend Cuphead. The indie darling is an equally exhilarating and addictive game with a superb soundtrack to boot! On top of that, Cuphead’s nods to video games and animation history are an impeccable fusion I couldn’t get enough of. Cuphead’s fun and challenge is raised with a friend on-board for the surreal worth taking ride. You can revive your teammate for a price (they return with 1 HP left and any subsequent revivals become increasingly harder to pull off) through parrying their ghost or taking HP (Like a thief…Blargh. ) from one another upon dying in boss battles or levels.

Oh, there is indeed a lower difficulty, but the developers will sadly not let you truly finish the game if you select it. Bosses lack entire phases and overall health. Locking content in this manner does disappoint and irk me for those that desire the full Cuphead experience. Especially for those that are already put off by the game’s difficulty curve as a whole from the get-go. Since part of Cuphead’s joy is seeing so much creative and stunning animation lovingly crafted on display. Listening to new music. Drinking in the atmosphere prior to being killed for the umpteenth time due to miscalculating a parry or boss attack. This is lost for those that choose Simple. *Sighs despondently*

As are the game’s wonderful secrets I won’t divulge here. 

On the other hand, folks should give Simple Mode a gander to check out lost animation Normal and Hard Mode doesn’t have. ;)

A PSA for those seeking an A rank on the Run and Gun stage Funfair Fever! Um, there’s a glitch in the game that won’t allow this achievement. Meaning, you have to conquer it with a P (Pacifist: only parrying, no shooting) rank as an alternative. I spent hours attempting to secure an A rank to no avail until I succeeded with the P rank I needed towards earning a game secret. This has just been patched.

My recommendation for Cuphead would be loftier if gender representation had been better and Simple Mode had encompassed all of the game. It doesn’t. You’re mocked by Dice King and that doesn’t seem right to me. No one deserves to be made fun of for playing something that is meant to be purely entertainment.

My feelings towards the red skinned turban wearing genie magician guy in the game bother me as well. Like he’s time period accurate and ultimately offensive. Should of done some in-depth research before posting this. :(

P.S. Dr. Kahl, is named after animator Milt Kahl, but modeled after Sonic’s Dr. Ivo Robotnik and Mega Man’s Dr. Wily. You’ve been warned. So many deaths were caused by him. So. Many. Losses. *Shudders*

[autistichansolo]

fortcvolontc replied to your post “cryptic-elizabethans replied to your post “tho really kylo stans are...”

Also if Mickey Mouse cared about GL's vision at all, only leia would've died and ONLY bc carrie Fisher died. Bc gl said the ot trio and lando earned a happy ending. But, you know, proping kylo as being everywhere is more important.

This is really a huge reason why i don’t like kylo because like the ot trio were literally used to create his character like they destroyed their characters and took the happy ending they all deserved away to create the villain bc they just really wanted him to be related to vader (and then didn’t give them any other kids at all) (and really all the bullshit characterizations of them are done directly as a result of kylo ren and his character like making them split apart done because of kylo, luke running away his fault, han going back to smuggling and ignoring his character development his fault, leia having no one his fault, han and luke both dying his fault, like literally everything done to them was done to further the villain’s story and it really do piss me off and just makes me hate the character even more than before but i guess it’s more important to make a villain related to vader than to actually care about the other characters) 

(tho i don’t think they would have to have leia die either just because carrie fisher died like there really isn’t any reason to kill leia off like sure they would have to have changed the story a bit to take her death into account like they do now but i don’t like leia have necessarily have died) 

[sconeboi]

don’t slip away

part 1

part 2

part 3

AU where Simon went to go looking for Baz and found him with the numpties, only to get captured and thrown into the coffin with him

(the fluffiest fluff comes in parts 2 & 3)

part 2 length: 1.7k

type: angst & fluff

warnings: a character is suicidal

(start fic from part 1, link above)

SIMON

It’s been at least a day since I was thrown into the coffin next to Baz with no escape. I have to say, it’s a little annoying to be trapped in a tight space with the person you hate the most. It includes a lot of “shut up’s,” “sod off’s”, and “Aliester Crowley’s.” We’ve already tried every game you can play with your voice, including a thousand alphabet games (thinking of a movie for each letter of the alphabet, etc.). My favorite had to be spells. 

“Listen up!” Baz says for his turn. 

“Usage?” I question.

“Snow, we’ve gone over this a billion times in class. It’s valid.”

“Usage?”

Baz sighs. “To draw attention to yourself.”

“Right. I knew that.” 

I didn’t know that.

“M for your turn,” Baz tells me.

“Uh...” I scower my brain for a spell that starts with M. “It’s the Mickey Mouse Clubhouse!”

“That is NOT a real spell, Snow.”

“Yeah, I know, I know. I wish it was.” I think for a moment more and then it hits me. “Man of his word!”

“Usage?” Baz asks. The bloke, he already knows it’s a real spell.

“If you’re telling the truth, a gust of wind blows everywhere. That’s such a basic one, Baz.”

“Just wanted to see if you were bright enough to remember.”

I roll my eyes, even though it’s completely invisible to him.

Suddenly there’s a creaking sound and the lid of the coffin is opened just a crack. 

“Apple for boy,” a numpty says, tossing something in. 

I kick the lid just to see if I was strong enough to thrust it open, but it doesn’t even budge from where it’s cracked open at.

“And rat for other.” I feel a thump on my chest and freeze. The coffin closes with a thud.

“Get...the dead rat...of of me...” I murmur to Baz. I can actually smell it from here.

“No, no, no, this is going to be fun,” he replies. “Let me pose a question and see if you’re worthy of freedom.”

“You little bitch,” I whisper.

“Alright...” He hesitates on even asking. “How do you feel about vampires?”

The question makes me smirk for some reason. “I don’t know, Baz, wondering if you should come out?”

“Answer the question.”

Now I hesitate. “I don’t know anything even about vampires. How am I supposed to feel anything?”

After a few seconds I sense Baz nod next to me. “Fine, your freedom is granted.” He pauses. “That’s actually the apple on your stomach, I put it there. The rat’s in my hand.”

“Oh, fuck you, Baz.” I say, groaning and reaching down to get the apple. I accidentally brush Baz’s hand and feel a shiver go down my spine.

“So you don’t think vampires are blood-sucking monsters, then,” Baz concludes as I take a bite. It’s soft and tastes a little off.

“That’s not what I said. I said I don’t know if they’re blood-sucking monsters.”

“But...” he continues. “Wouldn’t you assume from literature—”

“Baz, since when I used terms like literature, let alone read any literature.”

“Good point. Then from horror movies. You had to have assumed something.”

I think about it for a second. “No, I really haven’t. Sure, I’ve believed that you’ve been a monster, but who am I to say that’s true?”

“So you’ve made the assumption that I’m a monster.”

I start getting a bit heated. “Baz, what I meant was—”

“You’re just like my mother,” he says. “If she knew what I was, she’d kill me.” I think he may be crying; his voice sounds a bit shaky.

“What are you even fucking talking about...”

“Snow, I’ve seen the records. At the Watford Tragedy, my mother was bitten by a vampire and killed herself almost instantly. If she knew...what happened...she would’ve killed me with her. Vampires are among the worst things you can be.”

I couldn’t believe my ears. Did Baz just...confess? After all these years, did he really just tell me he was a vampire? But then again, he seems so grieved. Empty, almost. 

“I’ve wanted to kill myself so many times I’ve lost count,” he continues. He smiles maniacally. “I wasn’t meant to be like this. I was meant to be the perfect child of Natasha Grimm-Pitch. I just don’t want to exist anymore. I want to die more than I have already.”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa. Stop saying that,” I say. “Baz, you’re being crazy. You’re not a monster, just an arrogant prick. And you’re definitely not going to get the chance to kill yourself anytime soon.”

I realize that sweat’s rolling off my forehead. I don’t know why, but I’m generally concerned. I didn’t know Baz was disturbed like this. Disturbed, yes, but not like this.

After a long pause, Baz finally speaks again in a croaky voice, and rolls onto his shoulder to face me. “I do have the chance. Right now. I could just slip away. Tune out. I’m already dead. If I think hard enough, I can be dead dead. It’ll just take some time and some silence.”

“Are you insane?!” I’m practically hysterical at this point. “Don’t slip away, Baz. I am not letting you slip away.” I roll onto my shoulder too, but I can hardly make out his face in the darkness. “I’ve never turned my back on you. And I’m not starting now.”

BAZ

I can feel the haziness come over my head like a blanket as I close my eyes. The last thing I heard was “don’t slip away” before the inside of my head became so light that I just...left. I could still somehow sense Snow beside me. He’s holding my hand, I think. But that couldn’t be possible. I almost laugh at the thought that he would care if I died for good right here and right now. 

But don’t slip away continues to echo in my mind. 

I could kiss him. That’s what I’ll do, I think. I’ll get right to the edge of my mind, and I’ll peck in a kiss and jump off. My feet are dangling off the edge, and I can see the emptiness below. It’s right there. It’s just right there. And just as I settle myself enough to start to lean into Snow, he kisses me.

 SIMON

I can’t have him slip away. I just can’t. He’s my enemy. And someone...someone I care about. I had to do something. 

His lips are so cold. But that can change, with my help.

 BAZ

All at once my brain seems to “zoom out” and I take in the world around me. I just slip back, all at once, and my head throbs because of it. But what do I care?

I’m kissing Simon bloody Snow in a coffin. And his lips are so warm.

Aliester Crowley, I’m living a charmed life.

 SIMON

For a moment I think of Agatha. But then I think again. We’ve gone our separate ways. Nothing matters. Nothing but Baz. He’s not stopping me at all, just sort of countering my movements. I feel like he’s never been kissed. But he’s a good kisser. 

 BAZ

Is this a good kiss? I don’t know. But I’m learning from the best.

 SIMON

I take Baz’s face in my hands and lean in more, pushing him towards the wall of the coffin. I’m not sure what I’m doing, honestly. He lets out a grunt when he eventually hits the side, but lets me push him still, gentler.

“Simon...” he says softly.

I’m kissing Baz. I’m kissing a boy. And I’m loving every second of it.

 BAZ

Snow takes one hand off my cheek and runs it through my hair, brushing it back. His hand slips through so he grabs a fistful of it so suddenly that a switch seems to flip in my brain and a wave of aggression falls over me. 

My fangs pop out, and my head lurches foreword beyond my control. I pull back, pushing him away. Immediately I feel around for the rat. 

“Sorry,” Snow huffs, completely out of breath. Was that how intense it all was? To make the chosen one go out of breath just by locking lips?

“I didn’t bite you, did I?” I ask cautiously. 

“If anything I bit you,” he huffs again.

“Hold on, I have to...I have to feed.” 

“Oh, no way! With the rat?” Snow sounds like an energetic 6 year old all of a sudden. “Do you have fangs?”

“Yeah, they sort of...pop out when I need them.”

“Wicked,” he whispers. 

“Okay, cover your eyes.”

“Baz, it’s pitch black.”

“Goddamn, Snow. Was that a fucking pun?” 

I hear him stifle a laugh.

 “Okay, cover your ears.”

“Ears covered,” he says immediately.

I drain the rat quicker than I ever have in my life. When it’s done I knock on the coffin, waiting for the numpty to come get the carcass and finish it off. 

I reach over to Simon and feel for his hands around his ears. I lower them off slowly just as the coffin lid opens a little, and we both get a good look at each other.

His hair literally glows in the light.. His blue-grey eyes are nothing but ordinary, however, but the emotion behind them is extraordinary. I want nothing more than to kiss every freckle splattered on his face, especially the mole on his cheek that I’ve wanted to kiss since I was 12. 

 SIMON

With the light shining through the cracked coffin, I finally can see Baz. It almost makes me gasp. His cheekbones are so hollowed in that it looks like he hasn’t eaten in years. His cheeks fill with red the moment I look into his cement-colored eyes. All I want to do is to run my hands through his silky hair again. That, or make him smile.

“Rat...” a numpty grunts from outside. 

“Oh...right...uh...” Baz fumbles around beside him until he chucks out an object quickly, obviously not wanting me to see it. 

With a loud slam, all the light disappears, and we’re back to total darkness. 

A few seconds go by without movement, but once we both settle ourselves we practically slam our mouths into each other. 

Continue to part 3 here

[hellzyeahthewebwieldingavenger]

I’m struggling to remember an article by CBR which has been worse than this one. 

Let’s go through this point by point.

  “Peter Parker’s Spider-Man is one of the most famous and beloved superheroes of all time. He has had almost a billion movies (rough estimate) and more cartoons than Mickey Mouse. ”

  So first of all even if we were obviously recognizing this as not being intended literally it’s entirely disingenuous. There have been FIVE Spider-Man movies, the sixth one being this year. Excluding crossovers, movie serials or animated films there have been six Superman movies and eight Batman movies.

  I don’t see the allegations of ‘a billion movies’ directed at them though.

  “However, while we all love Spider-Man (after all, he does whatever a spider can and that includes release pheromones that make you helplessly devoted), we’re not quite sure this particular Spider-Man should be in the Marvel Cinematic Universe.”

  I agree with the latter point but I’m going to place money that it’s not for the same reasons the article is going to list.

As for the former point that’s literally not part of Spider-Man’s powerset and never has been.

  “In fact, there’s an argument to be made that the movies would be a whole lot better if he just dropped dead and allowed a different Spider to take his place.”

  Yes there is an argument like that. It just happens to be idiotic and ill considered.

  “we firmly believe that Peter Parker’s Spider-Man should take a dirt nap right about now and let someone who hasn’t had three different franchise series into his big webbed tights. (Someone like Miles Morales, for instance.) Anyway, this one’s for YOU, true believers!”

  ‘We’? Who is this ‘we’?

  All of CBR?

  I doubt every staffer of CBR believes in this attitude.

  Or perhaps this is the royal we?

  Moving on...two.

  Spider-Man has had TWO different movie franchises to his name. The MCU version will be the third. But like I said Batman has had technically a minimum of 4. No one is complaining at least not as forcefully about him. In fact I notice nobody asking for Robert Downey Junior to shove off and allow Rhodey or somebody else become the new Iron Man even though Tony Stark has starred in 6 movies now and will continue to do so for at least 2 more. The same applies to Captain America who actually had 2 other movies before the MCU as well.

  So WHERE exactly is this rule of ‘Well look you’ve had X number of movie franchises that’s enough now’. Frankly given how Peter Parker is you know, Marvel’s mascot, the most profitable superhero ever, one of the three most famous comic book characters of all time, Stan Lee’s favourite character, and frankly THE BEST of all of Marvel’s iconic characters he is absolutely OWED more movies.

  Especially when you consider the Raimi and Webb movies didn’t get him right and screwed up various aspects of his history. Never have we seen the Death of Gwen Stacy done right. Never have we seen Mary Jane or Venom done right. Nor Green Goblin. And how about all those iconic Spider-Man stories which were landmarks in the comic book industry?

  The Master Planner Trilogy

  The Death of Jean DeWolff

  Nothing Can Stop the Juggernaut

    We’ve only had 5 Spider-Man movies and 1.5 of those retold material from the first 3. None of them went beyond Spider-Man’s college adventures when that is nowhere near the entirety of the character’s journey.

  But we want to throw him away for...a derivative version who whilst maybe good unto themselves is objectively not as original nor as actually layered as a character.

  Yes, this surely is ‘for us true beleivers’.

  And you know SOMEHOW I just knew I’d hear Miles’ name brought up. And brought up first. I do ever so wonder if literally ANY other Spider-Heroes will get a mention.

  Oh and learn to spell check will you. I’m not perfect but I don’t write for a professional website that pays me.

  Seriously

  “who hasn’t had three different franchise series into his big webbed tights.”

  This is laughably bad sentence construction. I don’t even know what I’m reading.

  15)

  “Let’s face it, there aren’t a ton of stories to tell about Spider-Man. His villains? Sure, but Spidey himself? He’s unlucky in love, his uncle dies, everyone he knows is actually a villain. That’s pretty much it. ”

  Okay so in these few sentences you’ve proven that

  a)   You don’t know anything about Spider-Man

b)   You are thereby unqualified to be writing this article about Spider-Man

c)   You are an idiot.

  And you see I know all this because nobody who does know anything about Spider-Man, who is thereby qualified to write an article like this about Spider-Man and isn’t an idiot would have ever written that.

  Because there are 50+ years of fucking stories across two ongoing universes which prove that you are wrong.

  Jesus Christ.

  There are a ton of stories to tell about Spider-Man’s villains more than Spider-Man? Yeah, because we all remember those plethora of stories about Electro, Scorpion, Shocker and Mysterio right?

  They’re soooooo interesting.

  Jackass most of Spider-Man’s villains are gimmick characters with cool costumes. Oh he has deep villains like Norman Osborn and Doc Ock and a few others. But Shocker shoots vibrations, Electro electrocutes things, the Rhino literally up until the 2009 was a rampaging brick. They are not Batman’s villains.  Some of them have layers but they are not the psychologist’s wet dream like Batman’s rogue’s gallery.

  You’d know that if you’d actually read much Spider-Man, which I’m betting you have not.

  Similarly you’d know there is much more to Spider-Man than you pathetically oversimplified things down to.

  He’s unlucky in love? Yeah because dating the teen secretary to a millionaire media mogul when you are in high school, having the most popular girl in school wanting to date you, dating the daughter of a respected police captain, a thrill seeking reforming cat burglar and actually marrying someone who’s not only very attractive to you, not only an actress/model but also has your back in a crisis is sooooooooo unlucky right? As is dating all those other people he’s been with.

  Everyone he knows is actually a villain? Yeah...no. Harry Osborn, Norman Osborn, Frederick Foswell, Felicia Hardy and arguably Jameson are more or less it. Nobody else he knows is actually a villain. Or do you know something about Aunt May and Mary Jane that we do not?

  And franlly...not a lot of stories to tell?

  Uh huh.

  The death of Gwen Stacy, Spider-Man vs. Wolverine, When Commeth the Commuter, the Wedding arc, the Death of Jean DeWolff, the Clone Saga, the Totem saga, the Master Planner Trilogy, Spider-Man No More, the Owl/Octopus War, the Alien Costume Saga and literally too many others for me to list disagree with you...and also call you an idiot who doesn’t know what the fuck they are talking about.

  “You can tell an origin story and a pretty good villain story, but after that you’re left treading water. What can you do next?”

  I dunno maybe you could examine the realistic pressures of living with the burden of being a superhero and have him decide to give up that burden only to reaffirm the lesson he had previously learned and then choose to risk it all for the sake of emotional fulfilment by being with the woman he loves?

  And then perhaps getting arrogant over his apparent successes and letting power go to his head corrupting him into something he isn’t until he reasserts who he truly should be and then has to deal with the ramifications of his actions in the manifested form of a dark reflection of himself?

  OR maybe you could have him learn that sometimes using his power to try and save people isn’t enough because someone he cares about dies inspite of his actions and then he has to go through a realistic human grieving process?

  I figure MAYBE those could be sound premises for movies other than his origin story.

  Maybe?

    “Well, you can kill him.”

  This is the laziest and most unimaginative idea for a Spider-Man movie I’ve ever had the misfortune of hearing. And I’ve heard the idea that Spider-Man has sex with mary Jane on top of a bridge.

  “See, Spider-Man’s best stories of the last few years have been when he died — most notably in Amazing Spider-Man #700 and in Ultimate Spider-Man #150”

  Again...you don’t know anything about Spider-Man and/or are an incredibly pathetic literary analyst.

  Because if you weren’t either of those things you’d have noted how godaweful and just plain asinine Superior was and how mean spirited ASM #700 were. You are talking about a storyline which literally only happened because Spider-Man was so stupid that he didn’t try telling the Avengers his mind had been switched with Doc Ock.

  That is if you’ve actually bothered to read the stories. I’m not convinced you have though.

  “They’re powerful stories that show Peter is true to his word, and that he knows with great power does come great responsibility… no matter what.”

  Maybe the USM story is powerful (and poorly built up) but ASM #700 isn’t. Especially when you consider that Peter DIDN’T die in the story. He’s literally alive in his body in Superior Spider-Man #1.

  14)

  We really do not need Miles at all.

  Miles Morales was created less than 10 years ago and has been the subject of decompressed 4+ part stories including multiple crossovers and events.

  What does this mean?

  It means long term there is entirely too little material about Miles to justify him being Spider-Man long term and what little material there is not movieworthy.

  To begin with almost half his history is tied up in events which cannot by their nature function as solo Spider-Man movies due to the presence of other characters and elements that do not pertain to Spider-Man’s core concept.

  Or do you think it’d make for a positively thrilling Spider-Man movie to see him run around trying to stop Galactus (who Marvel don’t own) before a giant Kitty pryde (who Marvel don’t own) knocks him out?

  All of Miles’ OTHER stories are equally unsuitable for film as Spider-Man stories.

  He works as an agent of SHIELD? Spider-Man is about being a normal guy who happens to be a hero so no spy shit shouldn’t be in a movie.

  His mother dies because of Venom? Yay, let’s fridge another woman (and a woman of colour to boot) in a story decision that even the original writer regretted and reversed just three years later.

  Oh! He could fight Captain America in another Civil War. Oh wait we just did that movie.

  HEY how about having his origin story again?

  Audiences will just eat up ANOTHER movie about a smart teenager who gets bitten by a science spider, gains super powers, doesn’t use them when he can resulting in someone dying, feeling guilty about it and then deciding to be a superhero.

  I mean they just LOVED seeing that for the second time in 10 years so surely they’d love seeing it for the third time in 15.

  On top of all that hey genius, MILES IS A TEENAGER!

  There exists ZERO stories about his life beyond his teens which means you have NOTHING to base a movie upon when the actor soon enough ages beyond the point where he’s a teenager. With Peter Parker though you have stories of him as a high schooler, college student, grad student, young man leaving education and a married adult.

  “Look, we love Peter, you love Peter, but we need Miles Morales. It’s a different world out there than when we were kids, a world which has six different Peter Parker movies with a seventh one on the way.”

  Yes it is a different world. We have 8 Batman movies now as opposed to the 5 from 20 years ago.

  And if you mean it’s a different world in regards to something to do with race, putting aside how you know...there are still a lot of white people around...just cast Peter Parker with a poc actor!

  That’d be cool and keeps the awesome iconic character of Spider-Man rather than the less developed, less original, has less stories to tell version of Spider-Man.

    “Peter Parker is cool and all, but we’re pretty sure most audience members would be fine if he had less movies than Harry Potter. ”

  I see...you’ve compiled a comprehensive survey about this have you?

  A survey which suggests that mass audiances who’ve been used to Peter Parker being Spider-Man for 50 years would be okay with this other character being Spider-Man whom they no little-nothing about.

  Okay.

  “Miles, honestly, is just a bit more interesting than Peter. His first reaction wasn’t, “Oh joy, Spider Powers!” it was, “Oh no…” He has a different background, different friends, and a different story — one we haven’t seen on-screen almost 10 times. Give Miles a shot, gang.”

  Fuck. You.

  No seriously.

  A character who is scared by his new powers is more interesting than one who decides to use them for personal gain whilst neglecting the good he can do, learns his lesson the hard way and carries that guilt forward into his life driving him to be a hero?

  Jackass your saying 1950s DC characters’ origins are more interesting than the 1960s Marvel characters’ origins which are MORE REALISTIC!

  Peter Parker had flaws to his character more serious than Miles’ and took more time to get past. Miles is a good kid who does the right thing relatively quickly.

  Peter wasn’t, even when he decided to do the right thing he tripped, stumbled had to get passed his personal issues and grow as a person. He wasn’t immediately great at being a superhero, he ran away crying in his very first issue after a super villain fight. He was hated and hounded by the press and police.

  He had to provide for his famiy in the absence of his father figure who’s death he had a hand in. And on top of that had to deal with unpopularity at school and life generally taking a crap on him.

  Oh...but he’s ‘just not as interesting’ as the kid who had little-none of that to deal with.

  I’m not even saying Miles sucks or hasn’t got a lot of merit.

  But fuck you no, he is absolutely not as interesting as Peter Parker was.

  As for his different background and different friends guess what genius you haven’t seen that for Peter either. You’ve never seen Flash Thompson or Joe Robertson done properly. You’ve seen only the briefest of glimpses into Jameson. You’ve never seen MJ done right, Jean DeWolff or anything like that.

  And again...you saw SOME of Spider-Man’s supporting cast in a mere 5 movies which repeated beats from one another which didn’t cover even a 10th of Spider-Man’s wider history.

    13)

“Heck, the comics have already killed him and brought him back a bunch of times! Ultimate Spider-Man was the first series to make a thing of it and it’s the series that Spider-Man: Homecoming most resembles. ”

  Again...you clearly no sweet fuck all about Spider-Man.

  a)      If you knew anything about Spider-Man including the Miles Morales version you would know that Holland’s Spider-Man most closely resembles him not Ultimate Peter Parker

b)      Spider-Man died and came back multiple times in the 616 universe long before Ultimate ever did it

  “But while he’s dead, we can explore a different and cooler Spider-Man; one we haven’t seen before.”

  See above as to why Miles isn’t cooler and why you are unqualified to write this article.

    “ But the point is that the comics have killed Peter Parker off before and it worked out wonderfully…”

  Yeah like remember that wonderful outcome where a super villain was Spider-Man and tried to rape Mary jane for a whole issue. WONDERFUL!

  12)

  “We might be belaboring the point here (we can already hear you typing your Facebook comments now), but Peter Parker has been the star of two different trilogies in the span of 10 years (though one was mercifully cut short). ”

    ‘Two different trilogies’? Up top you said three. Whch is it.

  But whilst we’re belabouring points see above about the hypocrisy of using this argument given the number of films OTHER characters have had.

  Also learn some mathematics. If a films eries lasts for TWO movies it’s objectively not a TRILOGY!

  “There’s no shortage of Peter Parker content out there. Plus, he’s not like Batman where there’s a bunch of interesting characters for him to play off of. ”

  I’m sensing a Batfan who doesn’t know much about Spider-Man is writing this.

  Regardless Mary Jane Watson, J. Jonah Jameson, Joe Robertson, Jean DeWolff, Flash Thompson, George Stacy, Betty Brant, Liz Allan, Ben Urich, Felicia Hardy, Harry Osborn, Randy Robertson, and Norman Osborn (i.e. the best supporting cast of all comic books ever) grossly disagree with you about there being no ‘interesting characters for him to play off of’.

  “There’s basically just Spider-Man and his enemies…”

    *facepalms so hard it shatters skull*

  As if I needed more confirmation.

  Hey asshole? Even people who don’t READ Spider-Man know his life involves his normal people supporting cast waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay more than his super villains who’re egregiously less important. THAT’S LITERALLY WHAT MADE HIM POPULAR IN THE FIRST PLACE!

  “and all those girls he’s too poor and/or nerdy and/or too devoted to his aunt to date.”

  Yeah like Betty Brant, Gwen Stacy, Felicia Hardy, Deb Whitman, Mary Jane, Carlie Cooper, Lian Tang and so on.

  He NEVER dated any of them because he was too poor, too nerdy and too devoted to his aunt...who set him up to date one of them.

  FFS

  11) 

  “Hey, you know what makes audiences think twice? When you kill off a main character. Remember Phil Coulson’s death back during The Avengers? It was amazing, it was shocking, it was memorable, and it’s a big part of why that movie was better than a lot of other MCU movies — because it had actual stakes. We all genuinely cared about Phil Coulson, as we watched him in all of the different movies.

  In the same way, we all genuinely love Peter Parker, and seeing him — especially such a young and hopeful him — dying on-screen would be super devastating and prove that the stakes are real in the MCU. None of the heroes have fallen yet — the closest has been Rhodey getting his back hurt — but at some point one of them is going to have to — why not the one you’d least expect, and the one you might love the most?”

  Killing off for cheap shock value and not because it makes sense for the character is a lowly form of writing...also Coulson came back genius.

  And if you want this to happen then surely killing off Steve Rogers who also has a black person as his legacy, has had legacies before, had a better death storyline, is a bigger deal to the universe at large and has lived a longer life thus making it less cruel for him to be struck down as a child, would make a million times more sense than Spider-Man dying.

  10)

  “Peter Parker is more or less regarded as the heart of the Marvel Universe. He’s the youngest, the one most down on his luck, and the one who sacrifices the most to be a hero.”

  Yeah...Peter Parker is the youngest hero. As we all know Richard Ryder, Kamala Khan and every Young Avenger ever is older than Spider-Man.

  And as we all know he’s the most down on his luck. Daredevil who’s girlfriends have a history of you know...dying looks at Spider-Man and saying “Well at least I’m not THAT guy. He has to worry about his mother’s health. I don’t have to do that because my mother left me to be raised by my Dad whilst she worked as a nun and never sees me.”

  “He is the most heroic of all of the heroes in the Marvel Universe and nothing would prove that better than to show him sacrificing himself. Being the true hero.”

  We already know how heroic he is and know that he’d give his life to save others. We don’t need him to die to prove that. See Iron man in Avengers Asemble. And you know fucking Quicksilver who already proved stakes are real!

  “What would work better to establish him as the beating heart of the Marvel Cinematic Universe than to show that — above everyone else — he is the guy to make the sacrifice play. With all of those others standing so tall, he could stand as the true embodiment of what it means to be a hero. In fact, killing him would show just how much of a hero he always was.”

  Again..see Iron Man in Avengers Assemble. And Bruce Banner in Incredible Hulk who wasn’t risking his mortality perhaps but he was willingly condemning himself to a fate worse than death by becoming the Hulk again. It’s established he’d rather be dead than be the Hulk, but he still chose to become a monster again and ruin his life in order to save lives.

  Oh and Captain America in First Avenger and Winter Soldier. He was willing to sacrifice himself in the first movie for the greater good and in the second movie it was just to save his BFF.

  In fact just see Captain America. In the MCU it’s debatable whether he or Iron Man are the heart of the universe, but Cap is objectively the most heroic.

  And you want self sacrifice...dude...Cap was literally a soldier...in World War II.

  Spider-Man in the MCU isn’t a hero to that degree yet. In-universe arguably he isn’t that degree of hero yet. Perhaps nobody could top Cap in that regard.

    9)

  “When Phil Coulson died, it was a rallying call for the Avengers to get back together and take the fight to Loki and help save New York. It was pretty cool but if the Avengers are going to come back together after being so heavily divided, then it’s going to take something big. Maybe something like the youngest Avenger, the one all of them met for a short time, dying in battle.”

  So we’re going to kill off Spider-Man not for the sake of his story but for the sake of the wider Marvel Universe thereby reducing him to a prop.

  Charming.

  Putting that aside this is so stupid because Thor and Hulk don’t even know he exists whilst all other Avengers except for Iron Man don’t know him personally at all. It’d just be some kid who died which is sad to them I guess. Half the team saw him as an enemy anyway.

  When Coulson died he was at least on speaking terms with like half the team. He had some sort of relationship with them.

  Spidey in the MCU currently does not...at all.

  There is more justification for them to be affected by Quicksilver’s death!

  “Maybe then the heroes will realize that something needs to be done and the Avengers will… well, you know… Avenge! Spider-Man’s death could be a call for the Avengers to become bigger and greater and cooler than they’ve ever been — and as we know, the Avengers got their name from avenging Phil… why not continue the tradition and avenge Spider-Man?”

  How would Spider-Man’s death motivating the Avengers somehow make them ‘cooler’?

  And they should probably not continue the tradition by Avenging Spider-Man because it’s cheap and makes Spider-Man’s death more about the Avengers rather than about him. Especially when you consider Spider-Man is about being a normal down to Earth guy. But the global threat fighting taskforce that is the Avengers are going to be motivated by some Goblin nutter offing him?

  Or perhaps you mean it’d be appropriate for Spider-Man to die at the hands of a cosmic threat like Thanos even though that’s well outside the remit for his character’s core coneption and theme.

  8)

  “Unfortunately there are a lot of issues that go against our entirely cool plan to kill the Spider”

  Your plan isn’t entirely cool. Merely entirely foolish.

  “such as Tom Holland saying he has plans that he’s put forth to keep playing Spider-Man until the character is in his thirties. To wrap your head around that, the Spider-Man in Captain America: Civil War is about 15 years old. Holland wants to play this character for 20 freaking years.”

  So Tom Holland wants to respect the Spider-Man character and do his story justice by showing him grow and mature into his adulthood which is what Stan Lee his creator and architect of the entire Marvel universe intended and what eventually happened in the comics leading to some of the best Spider-Man stories ever such as the Death of Jean DeWolff.

  What an asshole I guess.

  “So, unfortunately, it seems like Spider-Man — as Peter Parker — isn’t going anywhere for a very long time indeed.”

  Oh no what a shame. Peter Parker who IS Spider-Man, the original, the genuine article, the best one in fact, will remain Spider-Man.

  Man...this is almost as bad as when I heard Clark Kent would be Superman.

  7)

  “It would be like introducing Hank Pym only to have him immediately… oh wait, that actually happened.”

  I don’t even know what your saying here. Hank Pym didn’t die in Ant Man.

  “nyway, what we’re saying is that grabbing the rights to Peter Parker for the MCU is one of their biggest scoops of recent years — Guardians of the Galaxy big ”

    BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

  ‘Guardians of the Galaxy big?

  What planet are you living on? Guardians of the Galaxy made a lot of money and was a smash hit. Guardians though wasn’t even as big in the movie business as the FIRST Avengers movie.

  Peter being in the MCU is an almost UNPRECEDENTED working relationship between two competing film companies, especially when one of them is Disney.

  It’s grossly a bigger deal than Guardians, hence news coverage went nuts when it happened moreso than when Guardians happened.

        6)

“Yes, okay, while Peter Parker is incredibly prolific across every single form of media, there’s a pretty fair reason for that. The dude is popular. He’s one of the best-selling comic characters (arguably the best selling) of all time. He’s basically a license to print money, and while Miles Morales is pretty awesome and super popular in his own right, he’s not Peter Parker popular. Yet.”

  And he never will be.

  Peter Parker as Spider-Man is a 50+ year institution.

  You say he’s prolific because he’s popular.

  But he’s popular because he’s a GREAT character.

  Great in ways that Miles, whilst good unto himself, is mostly derivative of.

  “While it might be a great creative move, when it comes to money, Peter Parker’s the safe bet. (Which would probably amuse the permanently poor character to no end.)”

  Spider-Man isn’t permanently poor. Putting aside stupid stints like Parker Industries or when Mary Jane was raking in the cash as a supermodel, Peter has had periods of time where he is merely financially stable as opposed to poor.

  He wasn’t even really ‘poor’ in Ultimate Spider-Man which I’m guessing is the only source of Spider-Man you have that much familiarity with.

  And for many reasons stated above, Peter isn’t the best choice creatively. And it because of that that he’s not the best decision financially.

  Creatively Peter has 50 years of history to draw on to make great movies out of. Creatively Miles has less than 10 and not even all of that would be conductive for a movie.

  5)

  “While this is arguably the most controversial argument, it’s also incredibly true. Marvel has a bit of a white-dude-as-lead problem. As in, all of their movies thus far have had a white dude main character. Sure, Black Panther is coming later but, look, if there was another version of Black Panther that was a white dude… let’s just say Marvel most likely would have gone for that version.”

  First of all I’m shocked to learn CBR has this massive insight into Kevin Feige’s mindset that they know for a fact they’d make amovie out of the Caucasian Black Panther if he existed.

  But hey...here is a thought. Maybe...just maybe...the reason Marvel’s movies have had white leads thus far is because in the source material they base the movies on...the characters are ALSO white?????????????????????????????????????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  Look...I’m not saying you should always keep a character white if they were in the cource material, but from a branding point of view and a fan point of view (of which Feige is known to be) it makes a shitton of sense that Marvel would want the characters to visually speaking look like they leapt off the page as much as possible.

  So no...Marvel wouldn’t have used the Caucasian Black Panther if they could have, they would’ve used the African Black Panther because Black Panther is in fact someone from the African continent.

  Same way they made kept Gamora green and Nebula blue because int eh comics they are effing green and effing blue!

  Again, racebending is okay under the right circumstances and Spider-Man was one of those circumstances.

  But saying Marvel are determined to have as many white leads as possible is despicably idiotic and judgemental.

  “Heck, Ant Man and Wasp is going to be the first movie to have a woman even co-headline! While Marvel makes good movies, they’re also a bit regressive. Suddenly making a movie about a young mixed race kid whose uncle is a thief seems like a bit of an inauspicious start for the company. Give them time, and Miles will appear onscreen. Eventually.”

  The same applies here.

  Marvel makes movies based upon the source material they have and the most successful source material at that, or at least the one which serves their purposes the most.

  And unfortunately most of their big characters in the source material are white males.

  Does this mean they shouldn’t do female led movies? No of course not.

  Should they have done them before now?

  Maybe in the case of Black Widow but otherwise from a practical POV probably not.

  MCU Phase 1 was designed to get us to the Avengers and do so as quickly as possible. To that end they did movies based upon the biggest Avengers characters, the real icons.

  Cap, Iron Man and Thor are the trinity of the Avengers. Hulk is however the most famous classic Avenger in all pop culture so he had to be in there.

  Hence Phase 1 was movies about those guys leading into Avengers.

  Phase 2 consequently comprised ONLY sequels to those movies in order to as quickly as possible follow up to the smash hit that was the first Avengers film. The ONLY exceptions to those sequels were Ant Man and Guardians of the Galaxy, both of which were made primarily for PRACTICAL purposes more than anything else.

  Ant Man had been in development since around the time of the first Iron Man movie so there was a huge financial incentive to just get it finished and out the goddam door.

  Guardians meanwhile existed for the EXACT SAME reason Iron man 2 existed, that is to say set up things for the future. Iron Man 2 primarily existed to set up Avengers whereas Guardians existed to set up the cosmic side of the Marvel universe thereby giving the MCU more potential films whilst also setting up Infinity War by explaining who the Hell that guy from the post credits scene of Avengers was and what these Infinity Stones actually are.

  Guardians was a movie they HAD to make more than anything.

    So we have 2 necesarry movies and then sequels to the established stuff. Could they have done a Black Widow movie? Maybe but at that point in time there was no indication that there was enough interest in Black Widow to do that and they were already taking a humungous risk on Guardians and to a lesser extent Ant Man.

  Black Widow got popular to the point where EVERYONE was demanding she get a movie after Winter Soldier, that film came out in 2014 with phase 2 scheduled to end the very next year meaning they literally had no time to give Black Widow her own movie before Phase 2 was done.

  Could they do it now? Sure, but they are also doing a male/female co-lead movie as well as their own female led movie in Captain Marvel.

  Could they have done Captain Marvel earlier. Not really no. Carol Danvers hadn’t yet reached her current point of popularity circa the Phase 1 movies and more poignantly she was nowhere near the same level of popular, iconic or a surething as a movie as the Phase 1 characters were, let alone being necessary.

Hulk was the most famous character followed by Cap. Cap along with Iron Man and Thor are THE iconic Avengers, you can’t do a movie without them.

  Beyond Carol though all their big female solo heroes do not have the same degree of popularity as other male heroes. Spider Woman and She Hulk are nowhere near as popular as Spider-Man and Hulk so if you are making a billion dollar financial investment in a superhero movie you’re not going to go for the former in favour of the latter, not initially anyway. NOW though we’re in a better position to do that.

  Phase 1 had to lay the ground work, Phase 2 had to solidify things and not rock the boat too much, now in Phase 3 the MCU’s place in pop culture isn’t a one hit wonder or five minutes of fame. It is now in a position to be bolder in making different types of movies.

  My point. There are legitimate practical reasons as to why Marvel hasn’t yet made a female led movie but we are NOW in a position to make it happen.

  4)

“Kevin Feige — the dad of the Marvel Cinematic Universe — has said that Marvel Studios has a clear plan for where Spider-Man’s going to go: and it’s to college. He’s said that he wants to make the Spider-Man movies work similarly to the Harry Potter movies, where each one documents one year of Peter Parker at school. And Feige has said he wants to do at least seven of them, carrying Peter Parker all the way through high school and almost all of the way through college. While Tom Holland’s enthusiasm makes the prospect of Miles Morales appearing as the prime Spider-Man a bit dubious, Feige’s claims make the prospect pretty much dead. Maybe he’ll change his mind, but until then, get ready for years of Peter Parker. Years!”

  How dare Kevin Feige wish for Spider-Man to go through the same iconic character arc from the comics which made him popular. And how dare he enter the status quo in which he gained pop culture stardom.

  Dropping the sarcasm though this sounds utterly fucking awesome and the correct approach to Spider-Man.

  3)

  “One problem with replacing Spider-Man is the fact that it hasn’t happened yet — ever. There haven’t been any legacy characters yet, so introducing the idea with Spider-Man would be a bit of an odd step. It would make more sense to have Bucky take over Captain America or War Machine take over as Iron Man. These characters are already set up and their legacies make a bunch of sense.”

  Jackass ANT MAN IS A LEGACY!

  “Once Steve Rogers or Tony Stark aren’t the men behind their respective masks, the idea of Miles becoming the Ultimate Spider-Man would be a lot more palatable for somewhat squeamish audiences.”

  Yu realize Feige has stated he’d rather recast Tony Stark than reboot the MCu right?

  I doubt we’re gonna get to the point where Tony and probably Steve get legacied.

  2)

  “You know what comic books are great for? Advertising. Each comic basically works as an advertisement for all of the toys and movies and video games. That’s how Marvel actually makes all that sweet money from these characters. The money they get from the comics isn’t shabby, but it’s mostly a really well-written commercial.”

    Holy crap you really don’t know anything do you?

  First of all the comic money is pitiful. It’s chump change in the grand scheme of things.

  But more importantly the comics AREN’T COMMERCIALS FOR THE MERCHANDISE!

  An issue of Spider-Man is read by at best 100,000 people per month, most of whom are older people who’re less inclined towards buying merchandise. And they are mainly sold through speciality comic book shops which aren’t on the mass goddam market.

  This means the comics DOESN’T PROMOTE THE MERCHANDISE THE MERCHANDISE PROMOTES THE COMICS!

  How the Hell do you not know that seriously! Whenever a movie comes out the comics contort to be like the movies because they know they’ll get a sales bump from it, not because they think the few 100,000 tops people going to speciality stores and are older people who’ve been reading for decades might be swayed to watch the movie that’s been advertised in trailers and posters everywhere they go in their daily lives!

  “Thinking of comics that way, you can see which products that Marvel values highest: and the winner is Peter Parker, who stars in (at last count) three books, with cameos in many more. As for Miles Morales? He has his own and an occasional crossover. ”

  *facepalm*

  FIRST of all Miles appears regularly in Champions and before that he was regularly appearing in All New All Different Avengers and before that he was regularly appearing in All-New Ultimates.

  And what is this ‘occassional crossover’ crap?

Spider-Men

Divided We Fall

United We Stand

Cataclysm

Secret Wars

Civil War II

Miles had tie-ins to ALL of those crossovers and appeared in many of them. In fact he had VITAL roles in the last three I listed.

  1)

  Wow. I’m shocked because I found nothing objectionable in this final entry on this list.

  In summation.

  This was laughable and the author should be ashamed of the pathetic levels of ignorance and lack of research evident in this article (for lack of a better word).

  I am appalled that the author was paid actual money to make this garbage list. 

[tinytaehyun]

an introduction to ikon (pt 1) for my bitch anna aka hyungnu

- --8) here we fuckin go @hyungnu

- used to be Team B but lost to Team A which is now known as Winner (#WINKON)

- they’ve been in two survival shows bc YG is an asshole (WIN: Who is Next and then Mix & Match)

- Team B consisted of: Hanbin / B.I, Bobby, Junhoe / Junhwe / June (i know wtf), Jinhwan, Donghyuk and Yunhyeong

- since they lost WIN, they were either going to 1) split up or 2) be rearranged(?)

- three trainees were added during Mix & Match (NO.MERCY FLASHBACKS ANYONE??? M&M WAS FIRST THO) the three trainees were Jinhyeong (we have no idea where he is now he is debuting soon!), Hongseok (now in Pentagon) and Chanwoo (he played child Gu Jun Pyo in Boys Over Flowers + was in a few other dramas, now a member of iKon)

- debuted as 7 obviously, Chanwoo being the evil maknae

- K in iKon stands for Korea

- iJon is a running joke in the fandom bc these fuckers were in japan forever

- they say they have no friends because they’re boring (they’re also very shy w new people but iKonsta X is now a thing hehehehehhe)

- fandom is called iKonics bc we are one w ikon (so cute i love them sm)

- kings of fanservice 

- they’re really weird and loud and don’t give a fuck about who thinks they’re strange (think like, minhyuk x 7)

- kim hanbin aka b.i 

- 96 line

- has been single his whole life “even if i love someone, no one loves me” (harhar i told u that yesterday)

- leader, rapper, lyricist, composer, choreographer aka an actual genius

- joined YG when he was 15 (basically his dad met a composer dude and then he rapped for him over facetime etc etc)

- dumbin, tigerbin, geniusbin

- don’t let the gif fool u bc one time ikon were asked “whats scarier? b.i in a recording studio or a ghost in a deserted house?” and they all chose b.i in a recording studio help them

- he is known to be v strict during practice which is where tigerbin came from, this lil shit doesn’t fuck around

- sleeps during the day and stays up all night writing and recording, lives in the studio (eats and sleeps there 90% of the time) the members say during comeback time they almost don’t see him at all, works v hard

- but on the other hand, he’s a giant idiot. e.g “aren’t mice reptiles?” “whale isn’t a mammal, it’s a fish” “i don’t know the goats iq cos i don’t even know my own” he wrote a song w/ Psy called Auto Reverse and sent him a text asking what auto reverse meant so psy replied with the meaning of it (the cassette thing where it automatically flips it around so u can listen to the other side)

- was in SMTM3, when he auditioned he forgot his lyrics but then freestyled his way through it like a motherfuckin boss

- didn’t win but this song is iconic (u mean ikonic HA)

- is fucking obsessed with Mickey Mouse (he got jealous bc one time Bobby got a mickey mouse pen as a present, ALTHOUGH literally a few weeks ago he told a fan a “secret” and the “secret” was that he actually doesnt like mickey mouse OK LIAR)

- has a little sister called Hanbyul who he protects with his life, i don’t think she will ever get a bf when she grows up bc he’ll be like NO, I AM YOUR ONLY LOVE (june x hanbyul = angry hanbin)

- loves animals, the members ask him why can’t he treat them like he treats animals (wow he’s my soulmate sry anna)

- Double B is the best ship on the planet (Bobby X B.I) when bobby isn’t around he gets touchy with the other members cos he misses him

- an actual 2 year old

- can’t take a selca to save his life 

- wrote Empty for Winner as a present for debut

- scared of bugs and is bad at foot volleyball (what even is that)

- kim jiwon aka bobby

- 95 line 

- hanbins boyfriend

- writes his own raps a DUHHH

- kimbap, bunny

- thinks hes ugly but BITCH HE AINT

- has a Pooh plush that he has had since he was a little kid and it looks like it has been through some shit

- v sharp jawline ouch my finger 

- takes care of his members very well, he’s like an idiot big brother

- was in SMTM3 with hanbin, and he won that shit. iKing

- him and June are the most awkward couple on the planet it makes me wanna kms but it’s so funny  e.g during M&M June: if Jinhyeong gets into our team, I can get close to him in a day if I open up my heart Bobby: what about me? i’ve been with you for two years! open up your heart to me

- derp of the group

- has sexy ass abs /slips on drool

- can speak english v well bc he moved to Virginia (but he says he can’t speak english im so confused)

- he’s super friendly and really fucking weird 

- this video explains him perfectly im crying mx in the bg LMAO (THE DANCE MOVE AT THE VERY END IS HIS SIGNATURE MOVE)

- he was actually my first bias in ikon but Hanbin ruined my fuckin life

- he styles his own hair....he has had really questionable hair styles, right now he looks like cruella de ville (?) (HE CHANGED IT)

- bitch he has so much fucking energy i honestly don’t understand it 

- kim jinhwan / 13cm fairy 

- jinani, “more famous than tangerines in Jeju”, Jay

- 94 line, oldest in the group but he looks 5, plus his tiny-ness doesn’t help

- is an actual wine mum (like seriously. he likes to drink wine now)

- :23 seconds is still a mystery to everyone in the fandom, where the fuck did he come from

- june is soft for him (and june is a giant bitch so)

- he has a heart shaped beauty mark on his face 

- he makes a really pretty girl 1:11 is him 

- is good friends with Kihyun 8)))) tiny x tiny 

- always gives advice to the members 

- a sweet emotional soul that needs to be protected at all times

- is the reason Yunhyeong became a singer, my hearT

- first person to catch my eye bc he’s so fuckin cute 

- Suhyun from AKMU really likes his voice (and probably him too)

- cries a lot

- his parents have an air BNB kind of thing dedicated to him in Jeju, called Stay At Home for Jinhwan

- his smile makes me want to die 

- he sweats a lot and doesn’t really like to work out

- like’s playing games (like games on variety shows and stuff, not computer ones)

- the best at japanese !!! and chinese, king of languages honestly

- all clothes look good on him like hOW

- goo junhoe / goo junhwe / gu junhoe / ku junhoe / koo junhwe WHY ARE THERE SO MANY VARIATIONS

- let’s just go with June since that’s what he goes by

- 97 line

- "shut up you handsome bastard” - Bobby

- always checking himself out

- not soft for anyone except for Jinhwan

- will he ever love bobby back???

- is handsome, but equally fucking awkward

- best singer in ikon / kpop / the world  

- says he would love to hang out with friends except he doesn’t have any

- instead of a gf, he wants a car

- originally joined YG to be a dancer (mini Michael Jackson)

- selca king (needs to teach hanbin)

- u know how i said he was only soft for jinhwan? i take it back, he’s also soft for konics (when he isn’t being a sassy bitch)

- never shuts up (remember when i linked u to noise pollution???)

-  writes his own songs (in his diary tho)

- one time he dropped his phone in the toilet and washed it with soap

- another time he wanted to take a picture in the water so he took the waterproof case off because it was a hassle until the members were like ??? thats..the case...and he’s like...oh...i thought it was the phone that was waterproof

- attention whore

- kim donghyuk

- 97 line

- dongdong, candy-chan, DK

- a sweet, sweet soul

- main dancer !!! he’s sO GOOD (choreo’d Airplane)

- taeyang said his voice perfectly suits Eyes, Nose, Lips

- he was on a ridiculous diet and we’re all v worried about him T_T he used to stress eat so he was insecure about it but HE IS PERFECT 

- english name is Ezra...idk

- has the best lauGH EVER

- underrated and i don’t know why

- he did a whole “day in the life” on V Live where it was LEGIT SHOWING U EVERYTHING. EVERYTHING. IT WAS LIKE 6 VIDEOS OF HIS DAY

- he just really loves konics

- gasses up Bobby every chance he gets (sigh hes so sweet)

- he can play the piano and drums

- and guitar woops

- he prays before shows and before he eats

- HAS A BEAUTIFUL SMILE I DIE, IT LITERALLY LIGHTS UP THE MOTHERFUCKIN ROOM

- idk man he’s like the sun

- he shines so bright i cry 

- best AT AEGYO 

- song yunhyeong 

- 95 line

- song chef, yoyo, prince, song

- originally wanted to be an actor but thank the lord he changed his mind (YG told him to be a singer)

- used to be hopeless at dancing and singing but look at him now bitch

- back in M&M days, he revealed how much he loves Nivea Cherry lip balm so for the christmas game, hanbin bought him like 100284347398 and he nearly cried

- next minute: he is the nivea ambassador, LEGENDS ONLY

- has his own cooking show on V App

- him and Chanwoo are twins (he hates being called Chanwoo tho watch out)

- eVIL TWINS  

- tells dad jokes (wow is he Anna)

- a positive ray of sunshine 

- you can probs take him home to mama cos he’s so perfect (like hello he’s sweet, moisturises his lips AND he cooks?)

- usually coupled with Donghyuk

- is also kind of underrated and im mad about it

- mum thinks he is handsome (he is, i just needed to throw that in there)

- his smile is beautiful

- beautiful tan skin!!!

- good @ english 

- stylists dress him the best idk why but he always looks good 

- imagine a kihyun x yunhyeong cooking show wow sign me tf up 

- A+ at comic dancing (bobby gets embarrassed about it)

- jung chanwoo

- 98 line

- chanu, chocoball, evil maknae, #MAKNAEONTOP, chan

- 1/2 of the evil twins w yunhyeong, he loves it tho

- hanbin calls him the nicest boy in the world 

- tests his hyungs patience on a daily basis

- sassy little bitch 

- one time he cried cos bobby scolded him (bobby said sorry later)

- was a child actor (gu jun pyo anyone ??)

- he’s a little slow sometimes but the members forgive him cos hes cute LMAO 

- members did a hidden camera on him once and he passed with flying colours  Hanbin: why did you do everything I asked you to anyway? Chanwoo: because if i didnt, you’d kick my ass

- v tall, stop growing

- good at chinese

- sometimes i feel like he doesn’t know he’s famous 

- looks lost 90% of the time 

- he’s cute but he’s a sassy brat so watch out

end

[marleyjanerosearchived-blog]

say it with your hands || marson

TAGGING → MARLEY ROSE AND MASON MCCARTHY LOCATION → a hotel after prom. TIME FRAME → 4/29/17 late at night. NOTES → they’re having sex that’s literally it, so nsfw.

Marley: tried really hard not to grin too hard at the check-in desk, but the fact was that after a fun, yet exhausting night, she was finally getting uninterrupted time with her boyfriend. She wrapped her arms around Mason as they finished check-in, then whispered in his ear as they walked to the elevator, "Sure beats the after prom party, hm?"

Mason: finished paying for the room and then wrapped his arm around Marley's waist, smiling brightly at her. "Without a doubt," he agreed. "Even just this part, no matter what happens. Already better. But soon to be even better." He hit the button for their floor and stole himself a kiss. "You look so beautiful."

Marley: giggled, pinning him against the elevator door and kissing him in a way she couldn't on the dance floor without getting yuck looks from Madison; she kissed him hard, sloppy, her heart pounding. She pulled back when she heard the "Ding!" of the elevator, smiling devilishly, "We better hurry,"

Mason: raised his eyebrows as he led her off the elevator. "You gotta start stripping me in the hallway?" he teased. He pulled the keycard from his pocket when they reached the room and he let them in. His heart was already starting to beat faster than it ever had before. "Room's nice," he mentoned nervously.

Marley: nodded, lifting the overnight bag she was carrying off her shoulder, her eyes wide as reality started sinking in. She was really gonna do this, and she wasn't even nervous about it - just excited on pretty much every level. "I brought something to change into, so I'm gonna go do that...you make yourself comfy, okay?"

Mason: turned and nodded, pressing a kiss to her cheek before she went into the bathroom. He took off his jacket and tie and laid them over a chair. He wasn't sure if he should get completely undressed or not, but he always liked Marley undressing him and he didn't want to rush anything. Instead he unbuttoned the top few buttons of his shirt along with the ones on his sleeves, rolling them up to his elbow. Kicking his shoes off he sat on the bed and leaned back against the headboard.

Marley: slid out of her dress, hanging it on the shower curtain and pulled out the black lace underwear she bought the day she got her prom dress and the knee high fishnet socks, dressing quickly, not wanting to keep him waiting. She took her hair out of it's careful styling and shook it around, then took her lipstick out and reapplied it carefully. She smiled to herself in the mirror, actually feeling beautiful. She took a deep breath before stepping out of the bathroom and walking out to Mason, the lace left nothing to the imagination, and she knew it.

Mason: sat straight up when Marley appeared, his eyes wide and his mouth hanging open. He probably looked like an idiot, but he didn't have enough blood in his brain to care. "Oh my.... " He forced himself to breathe again and stood up, walking over to stand in front of Marley. "You are... exquisite doesn't even begin to cover it." He took Marley's hand and brought it up to his lips.

Marley: blushed, leaning in closer to him as he kissed her fingers, "I feel so pretty," she admitted, her voice soft, "I feel so beautiful with you." She felt her blush move from her cheeks to her neck to her chest, "...Kiss me."

Mason: leaned in even more until his nose was brushing against Marley's. "You're beautiful no matter what," he whispered, letting his hands slide down to her waist and around to her back. He pulled her body against his as he kissed her so it felt like they were literally melting together into one being even when he still had most of his clothes on.

Marley: wrapped her arms around Mason and pressed herself against him, deepening the kiss, opening her mouth for him and whimpering against his mouth softly. She knew she could move this along if she wanted to - but they had all night, right? That was the point. She tugged lightly at his shirt, pulling back briefly to speak, "Need this off," she whispered, giggling a little.

Mason: chuckled softly and shook his head. "So eager, aren't you? Not that I mind. We deserve it after all the waiting we've done." He brought his hands back only so he could unbutton the rest of his buttons and tug his shirt out of his waistband. "You gonna make me do all the work?"

Marley: giggled softly, moving to slide his shirt off his shoulders, tossing it away. She swallowed hard, "You're perfect," she whispered, her lips finding the crook of his neck as she sucked and nipped at it, her hands traveling up and down his torso as she sucked a deep, dark purple mark into his skin.

Mason: sucked in a breath, his hand coming up so he could tangle his fingers in her hair. "I'm so not, but... as long as I'm perfect for you that's all that really matters. Especially right now." He stepped backwards carefully and turned them so he could guide Marley down to the bed and hover above her. He really couldn't get over how incredible she looked.

Marley: bit her lip, pulling him in, "You're still wearing way too many clothes - way more than I am," she said, her hand wandering to waistband of his pants as she eyed him up.

Mason: let out a small squeak when Marley's hand brushed against his dick, which started reacting the moment Marley walked out into the room. "You just really wanna see my Mickey Mouse underpants, don't you?" he teased between kisses. "I'm afraid that aren't nearly as sexy as what you've got going on here." He let his hand move down the side of her body, enjoying the contrast between her soft skin and the slightly rough lace.

Marley: laughed, "'Course I wanna see 'em," she giggled, which turned into a soft gasp when she felt his hands on her. "Oh God," she breathed, her head falling against the pillows, "I love us."

Mason: grinned and nodded in agreement. "Yeah, we are pretty great," he giggled, leaning down to press his lips against her throat, slowly moving it down to the swell of her breasts. He could spend all night worshiping every bit of her. Maybe he would. "If you want my pants off, maybe you should work on that." Marley: giggled, "Who's doing the work now?" She said, but went to work on undoing his belt anyway, grabbing his waistband and moving to sit up and pull down his pants and underwear a little clumsily, but she hoped it would be endearing.

Mason: let out a little huff at her accusation. "Well, I was a little busy giving you kisses all over, but if you'd rather I stopped." He scrunched his nose up and chuckled as he lifted his body up enough to let Marley push his pants off. "Though I don't think I'll ever be able to stop kissing you."

Marley: scrunched her nose up at him right back, "Please don't stop," she said, touching his cheek. "And if you do, make sure it's to take some clothes off of me," she said sweetly, almost shyly, this was so intimate and at the same time, they were just being their silly selves like always. It was here where she knew it was perfect. Of course, she'd known it before, but now it was even more clear. Mason: hummed as he considered her. "Well, if you insist." He moved down her body, peppering kisses on her skin all the way down. He reached her fishnet stocking and took the top of one in his teeth, slowly dragging it down the length of her leg while his eyes looked up at her.

Marley: 's breath hitched, "Oh my," she said shakily, not letting her eyes wander from him, letting the intensity of their eye contact make her heart pound even harder. Marley let her hand fall in his hair, pulling gently to see how he'd react.

Mason: groaned softly as he moved to Marley's other leg to repeat his actions, dragging the other stocking down in the same manner. Once her legs were bare, he ran his hands up them and enjoyed every perfectly smooth inch. "You've got the sexiest legs," he told her. "The sexiest everything." Marley: bit her bottom lip, loving the way he talked to her like this - uninhibited, honest. His hands on her felt simply sinful and she honestly felt as though she might die if he stopped touching her, "Oh baby, the way you talk," she said fondly.

Mason: lifted one side of his mouth up in a lopsided grin as he looked down at her. "I'm just being honest. You're so beautiful. It takes my breath away." He took the opportunity to move up and steal another kiss from her. The lace looked incredible on her, but he had to admit he was getting anxious to get it all off and be skin to skin. "Can you help me? I'm so bad at these bra snappy things," he giggled.

Marley: nodded, "Completely understandable," she said with a smile, moving to sit up, she slid the straps off one at a time, then unhooked the bra and let it fall, tossing it away and smiling at her boyfriend as the color of his face changed and his eyes darkened.

Mason: licked his lips slowly, his mouth already watering at the sight of Marley's perfect breasts. "I hope you don't get sick of me mentioning how beautiful you are because I really can't get over it," he said as she laid back against the pillows again. His hands moved to her breasts as he kissed her hard once again. He didn't want to forget a single moment of this night.

Marley: was about to answer, but then his lips were colliding with hers again, and she groaned into it, wrapping her arms around him as she kissed him back. Their kisses were urgent, sloppy - moreso than they'd ever been. It enthralled her; she reached for one of his hands and placed it over her right breast, breath hitching when he touched her nipple gently.

Mason: kept on kissing her as much as he possibly could, losing himself in the taste of her. It was such a unique perfect taste and it was all his. He loved that. His fingers moved deftly over her body, from her breasts over her stomach and down to the waistband of her panties. He slid them down carefully, always sure to be gentle with her. He wanted to find that perfect balance between passion and gentility.

Marley: felt her nerves racing as he slid her panties down, and she found herself trembling lightly in anticipation. She pulled him in, their bodies pressed together as she kissed him hungrily, feeling his cock against her leg and blushing at the feeling.

Mason: 's hands kept moving over her body eagerly and his tongue tasted her lips. He stopped kissing her only long enough to catch his breath, their foreheads still resting against one another. "You  doing okay? You... ready?"

Marley: nodded, nuzzling her nose against his, "I'm so okay," she said, smiling sweetly, "Condom," she said, giggling at her inability to form complete thoughts, "I mean," she breathed out, "We need one of those."

Mason: nodded quickly. "I know," he chuckled. "I just wanted to make sure you were ready before I rushed anything." He took a moment to brush the hair away from Marley's face and look into her eyes, dark but still sparkling so beautifully. With one more gentle kiss, he rolled over to dig through his bag, offering Marley the perfect view of his ass in the meantime.

Marley: reached out to grab a handful of Mason's ass - God, how was it that perfect? She looked at him devilishly when he looked back at her. "Couldn't resist," she said innocently.

Mason: just laughed and gave his ass a little wiggle for Marley's viewing pleasure. "Anytime, babe." He grabbed a condom from the box he'd brought in his bag and rolled back over. He was so happy. Everything felt so comfortable and so right. Even with his nerves, he had no reservations about this night. Marley was everything he could imagine and he loved her so much. "Wanna help?"

Marley: nodded enthusiastically and grabbed the box from him, pulling out a condom and opening it before tossing the box out of the way - God knows where, and rolling it onto Mason's cock, "I'm so tempted to put my mouth on you right now, but I'm not gonna push you too far," she said breathlessly, giving him a teasing stroke before moving to lay on her back, "I love you."

Mason: couldn't help but chuckle at how excited Marley was, mostly because he felt exactly the same. It also boosted his confidence a little, knowing how sure and ready she was. He smiled at her and shook his head. "As wonderful as that sounds, I don't want this to be over before it starts," he teased, kissing her cheek lovingly. He let out a breath as her hand moved over him and took a moment to collect himself. "I love you too. So, so much," he whispered as he positioned himself above her and fit himself between her legs. He made sure their eyes were locked as he slid inside her carefully, his fingers already tightening in the sheets on either side of her.

Marley: felt her breath hitch as he first entered her, willing herself not to close her eyes as he did - she wanted to share this moment with him. The feeling, though she'd known it before, was still a lot to get used to, a little bit of pain hitting her, making her nose scrunch up a little bit - but it quickly dissipated, and then she just felt close to him. "O-oh m-my," she whined, getting used to him, spreading her legs wider, "K-kiss me?"

Mason: didn't know what to think, he couldn't think. All he could do was feel and this was a feeling he'd never had before. It was definitely different than his past experience, but it was perfect and that's all that mattered. He loved Marley and the fact that they were sharing this meant everything to him. Unable to resist her request, he managed a little nod before meeting their lips together again. His hips were still at first, giving them both time to adjust. "Let me know if it's okay to move," he whispered against Marley's lips.

Marley: kissed him back hard, her hands in his hair as she trembled lightly - it was all so much, she could feel herself getting more and more wet. She pulled back a little, whispering, "If you tease at my clit, that'll feel really, really good," she breathed out, learning that telling him what she needed always made for a beautiful experience. "You can move, if you're good?"

Mason: nodded slowly, his lips curling up again. "Right. Making you feel really good is... definitely what I'm going for." He gave her a little wink as he slid his hand between their bodies and found that perfect spot between her legs. He rubbed his thumb against her clit and slowly started rocking his hips against hers, still wary of going too fast and hurting her at all.

Marley: let out a moan, her mouth falling open when he moved, her eyes closing even as she tried to keep them open, "Fuck, oh m-my God," she breathed out, her emotions running high. She wrapped her arms around him and opened her eyes again, meeting his, feeling like she might cry.

Mason: knew if Marley was letting herself curse, she was probably feeling really good which is exactly what he wanted. "I love you so much," he told her as found a comfortable rhythm for his hips. "God, so much." He kissed her again, getting lose inevery incredible sensation that was running through his veins.

Marley: buried her face in his neck to bite and suck marks there as Mason fucked into her rhythmically. God, she wasn't sure if she'd ever felt this wet in her life, and he felt so big inside of her -- it made it hard to control the noises that came out of her mouth; she whimpered into his neck, her cries muffled.

Mason: murmured to Marley gently, "It's okay, baby. It's okay to let go." He honestly didn't care who heard them. It's not like they'd see any of the other people in this hotel ever again. He nipped at her earlobe, dragging it through his teeth. He concentrated entirely on Marley so he wouldn't end this too quickly.

Marley: pulled back from his neck and nodded, feeling a chill down her spine at how low and sexy his voice sounded. The realization that it was because of her made her feel confident and beautiful - somehow, even on her worst days, he could do that for her. She let out a loud moan, nearly startling herself - even when she was being loud, she wasn't being /loud/, but now? Now she was letting it out. "Oh fuck," she whined as he touched her clit in just the right way right as he thrust into her, "Oh m-my G-god, fuck," she said, almost a sob. "If I can let go, so can you," she whispered, "Talk to me."

Mason: smiled, admittedly a little proud that he could make her feel so good. "I... what are words?" he managed to get out, a low chuckle escaping from deep in his chest. He kissed her again and a sharp spike of pleasure ran through him, causing him to let out a loud moan without even realizing what was happening.

Marley: let her hands wander over his back, her nails digging in a little, "You can go harder -- o-or f-faster if you want--ah," she choked out before losing herself in more moans, her legs wrapping around him to bring him closer, heels pressing against his ass, pushing him in further.

Mason: made himself take a deep breath so he didn't accidentally pass out and he nodded slightly. He pressed a surprisingly gentle kiss to Marley's jawline and sped up his hips a little. He could already feel that familiar feeling curling up in his gut, ready to explode at any second.

Marley: 's moans came out like sobs, the bed squeaking under them as he hit that special spot inside her, "There, oh my -- there. There," she repeated like a mantra, she could feel herself getting closer, " 'm gonna come, f-fuck, /Mase/."

Mason: felt urged on more and more with each perfect sound that came from Marley. She looked, felt, and sounded like an angel. "I love you. Love you so... much. Love you," he breathe again and again as his hips began to stutter. The sparks flew through his body, his vision blurring from the pleasure he was feeling in that moment as he came apart.

Marley: sobbed as she felt herself unravel, her pussy tightening around him, her nails digging into his back as she felt him filling her up. "Oh my G-god, love you, love you so much," she whined, her body going slack as she started coming down.

Mason: 's breath was heavy as he tried to clear his vision. He was still hovering over Marley and he managed to focus on her, looking more stunning than he'd ever seen her before. Doing his best not to crush her with his weight, he leaned down and kissed her once more. It was slow and lazy this time, but with just as much feeling. If anything he loved her even more now. He loved her more with each passing day.

Marley: 's breathing was heavy, her legs shaking as she came down, a big smile spread across her face, "Oh my God," she said, pulling his face toward her to kiss him slowly, "I don't think I've ever felt more ready for something? I just...that was really worth waiting for."

Mason: hummed with pure contentment and nodded along. "You're worth everything in the whole world. If that makes any sense. I don't know what's real anymore," he chuckled. Reluctantly he slid from her and rolled over, cleaning himself up quickly before he reached out his arms and drew her close against him.

Marley: pressed against him and pressed soft kisses to his chest, her legs still shaking a little, "God, do you feel my heart?" She asked, "I don't think I've ever felt so good while also feeling really sweaty," she said, pulling back to make eye contact, she marvelled at how beautifully disheveled he was; she could tell she'd made him feel incredible, and that made her feel powerful in a way she hadn't before.

[fatgirlsguidetodating]

I wrote this a little while ago to be anonymously posted on a friend’s blog. It’s one of a few events that have shaped my life. (I have two or three more to write about both for her blog and mine.) I decided to share it here in the hopes that it helps people understand me more and the impact- long and short term- bullying can have on someone. I don’t see how it could help anyone really unless to tell you if you have been bullied or were bullied you can survive that shit and you will be stronger for it down the track.

*****

I know that for many people high school can be hell in parts. I know that many kids have been bullied in school. For me that part was almost the entire year of 8th grade, a year so horrible that I regularly contemplated killing myself, cried myself to sleep most nights, woke in the morning crying because God hadn’t answered my prayers to let me just die, and just generally was completely and utterly miserable and totally alone. I remember one day, with my usual puffy red eyes in the morning, thinking how if it were possible that we only get a certain quota of tears in our lifetime that I must surely have used up a shitload of them. I remember mum, in tears with me, having to practically drag me to school. I remember countless meetings with the school social worker, the year co-ordination, the vice principal and mum. All this was because it had been decreed by the popular girl of the class that I was persona non grata. Nobody was allowed to talk to me in class or out of class- unless it was to say something cruel like about how I was fat. That was allowed. Tripping me over was allowed. But nice things? No.

There were only 2 people who went against this. On one occasion one of the boys who I had also gone to primary school with asked me if I was ok? Such small words. I managed to nod, unable to speak past the lump in my throat. “Hang in there,” he said. “It’ll blow over.” I had to hide my face behind my then long hair so he- and nobody- saw my tears. That one simple act of kindness meant more than he will ever know.

The second was when one of the girls I used to hang around with before the decree returned a book she borrowed from me. Her little sister had made a mess of the book. She offered to buy me another one to replace it. I said it was fine. I didn’t need to be hated anymore than I was. She left me a note inside the book apologising and signing it with xoxo. I remember thinking how hollow it was given she hadn’t spoken to me in a few months.

How did this happen? In an absolutely ridiculous fashion.

Something mean was written about me on a table: it said, in essence, my name is X and 1) I want to be Y’s boyfriend, 2) Z’s best friend , 3) I never have showers and I think there MAY have been a fourth one but I can’t for the life of me remember what it said. I think I blocked a lot of that year out. My minds way of protecting myself I guess, like people often do for traumatic events.

As an adult I can say they were relatively benign statements but as a 14 year old they weren’t. The thing was the popular girl decided that I had written them about myself. (Seriously!) Her reasoning: it looked “kinda” like my handwriting (it didn’t) and it looked like my pen (one owned by almost everyone in the class including, ironically, her). Interestingly a few months later one of the popular girls told me that she had seen the bitch coming out of that classroom not long before it was discovered. I’ll never know who did it but the simple fact that the popular girl said it was me meant that naturally the class agreed with her.

So when she said nobody was to talk to me they all just did it. Not a single person stood up for me. I have felt lonely at many, many times in my life (haven’t we all) but the loneliness of that one moment will never ever be forgotten. Even now I feel literally sick as I remember that moment. It was like one of those movies where you wake up from a dream and everyone’s gone, and you are all alone. Or a dream where you suddenly become invisible and no matter how much you scream and jump up and down and wave your hands you remain invisible.

I had hoped that maybe my friends would have stuck up for me. I would even have taken them doing it not publicly but privately if they were too scared to disobey or too ashamed to be my friend in front of the popular girl and her best friend- my two tormentors. Like still hanging out with me at lunch and recess. The popular girl wouldn’t know after all. But no. Even the girls i had hung with pretty much since the start of school when we’d made friends with me followed and I was suddenly cut off from everyone, completely and utterly alone….

There are some things that stand out from the next eight or so months, things beyond the pain and loneliness. Moments where the bullying was worse than the usual daily taunts. Like the time they soaked a bunch of tampons in water so they became nice and big and ran around the corner and threw them all at me. (Because I found a spot to sit and have my lunch all alone day in day out. Technically, being at the front side of the school, near the road, it was out of bounds but I didn’t care. On rainy days I got a bit wet but I didn’t care- I even thought well maybe I’ll get pneumonia and even if I don’t get lucky enough to die from it I could get some time off school, away from my living hell. Sometimes I’d eat quickly- prompting comments from the girls about how fat people like me ate too quick- and then go to the library to hide in a corner and read. Being a bookworm over those eight or so months I got through even more books that I ever imagined I could.) I was trying to eat healthy (I was on a diet which, lets face it, I have been on for most of my life!) and I often had those little tubs of two fruits in my lunch. The girls would sneak around and laugh at my lunch. I’d be tripped over, had leftover bits of food thrown at me, was called fat and ugly so many times that even now I say it about myself and actually mean it. One day after PE I discovered my watch had been stolen from the box we put all our special items in. It was a Mickey Mouse watch I got from Disneyland that played music. I was devastated. These girls that I speak of were- surprisingly- not my two tormentors, the instigator of it all, but my former friends. I think that these girls, and the few boys who sometimes hung out with them, were actually crueler to me than the popular girl and her friend. I could never understand that. I still don’t.

For almost eight months my mum battled with the school to have me moved to another form but they kept saying that the numbers were at maximum in each form. I offered at one point to take a lie detector test to prove I hadn’t written those things. I spent way too many hours in the social workers office in tears.

At one point all of a sudden one of the boys started being nice to me. I lapped up the kindness, kind of like how an abused dog will still always want their masters approval. Every kind word was like a balm on my soul. He’d come and sit with me sometimes at lunch and we would talk and laugh. It was only when someone slipped a note in my locker- I suspect the girl who returned the book- telling me that he had been given a dare by the two tormentors to get me to sleep with him. Needless to say the next time he came to see me I said to him “I know what you’re doing. I know it’s a dare and you’ve been telling them everything I said!” (Probably one of the only times in my life I stood up for myself.) He didn’t even look ashamed or guilty, he laughed and said “well I wouldn’t sleep with a fat four eyes like you for no reason. You are pretty dumb for believing it.” Perhaps the saddest thing was the fact that I contemplated not telling him I knew. Oh I wouldn’t have gone so far as to sleep with him knowing what I knew but to just continue the ruse for awhile because he provided the only conversation in school hours, the only kindness, in all the pain and loneliness. But, ultimately, I knew being alone was better than living a lie.

My persona non grata status didn’t extend to just my class. All the popular kids knew not to talk to me and to make fun of me or even spit on me if I walked past. One of them even tripped me up on the top of the stairs so I went flying down them, landing on my side so hard it was bruised and hard to breathe for ages. I never told on them. I knew that “dobbing” would just make my life worse. Though how they could have made it worse than that I will never know.

The worst moment was when I actually did attempt to kill myself. This is something I haven’t ever told a single soul. I only told mum a few months ago now that I'd wanted to kill myself (not what I actually did) and she was devastated. But I never told her at the time because I saw how much it pained her to see me so unhappy. I couldn’t burden her anymore. The night it happened was a Sunday night, the night before school started again for the new term. I was pretty naive. It was pre-Internet which, in retrospect is probably a good thing because had Google existed back then I would have found a way to do it. I took a packet and a half of Panadol. I thought surely that was enough. It wasn’t. Not only did I not die, but I simply woke up the next morning feeling like absolute shit.

The turning point came about seven months in. A chance encounter in the library with one of the girls I’d gone to primary school with and I told her about what my life was like. She was horrified and said I could come and hang with her friends sometimes. Not all the time, she said, because they wouldn’t like that but sometimes. I probably should have thought it a strange offer but needless to say at the time a little bit was better than nothing. So maybe two or three times a week at lunch mainly I would go and hang with them. I didn’t really say much. I had always been shy but my ordeal had made me even more so. When people came up behind me and stuck crap down the back of my top or yelled “boo fatty four eyes” suddenly i would jump a mile. If I saw one of my two tormentors or any of their friends I would instantly start shaking waiting for what they would do or say this time. They soon learnt they didn’t even need to speak, just look at me, and I’d be affected. So when my school friend said to me that I couldn’t really hang out with them anymore because the others thought I was stuck up (because I didn’t speak much) I didn’t feel much emotion. It seemed to me that it was perfectly right. Why WOULDN’T they reject me too? Who would even WANT to be friends with someone like me?

Finally, FINALLY, after eight months battling the school by mum they let me move classes. Not to the form I wanted to go in as by then I had made a couple of friends through my childhood male best friend who lived a few houses up and I had known since we were three and who I spent most weekends and school holidays with along with my brother and his younger sister who were in the same year, but a new one nonetheless.

It was the middle of second period, I think, that I was moved. The class were in the science block so I’m guessing it was a science class but I can’t quite remember. The year level co-ordinator took me in there and just said, “X is in this class now. She’s been given the class schedule.” Of course everyone turned to look at me curiously. I slipped into a seat in the back of the room and put my head down. At the desk next along from me were three girls. At one point they said my name and I looked up and asked “yes?” I was given a withering look. “I wasn’t talking to you. X here has the same name as you.” I was told.

The next period those three girls asked me to sit with them and asked plenty of questions. But then after lunch they told me they’d spoken to my main tormentor and knew who I was and what I did. Great, I remember thinking, I could never ever leave it behind me!

But, slowly, over the remaining few months in the year I began to make friends. There were four girls in my form who became my friends- to this day one of them remains one of my best friends- and from another form there were another two. The six of them hung around together and, as time went on, I became part of their group. There were another few girls in the form who sometimes came to hang out with us.

I was with them (both had the same name and it also coincidentally happened to be the name of my main tormentor) one day walking across the courtyard when my tormentor and her best friend (the girl who had been one of my close friends for years before this all happened and who’s friendship with me seemed to threaten my main tormentor for some reason before the table incident) suddenly appeared. Apparently someone had written something in chalk in the girls toilet near the year ten common room (or it may have been year twelve then, I can’t remember when the merger happened) about her and I was blamed. One of the girls stood up for me, pointing out there were many with her name including my two new friends. But no. It was definitely about her because it had her last initial or name. She tried to get in my face, telling me she knew it was me and I had mental problems etc but my two new friends basically stood in front of her. They were a bit tough and told her that she’d have to go through them to get to me. She chose to walk away.

Though she did get the popular girls in my class to make extra fun of me for a bit but all of a sudden it was water off a ducks back because I had my new friends. They did try and get them to abandon me, telling them what I had done but I’d already told them my side and all the pain- though I had edited it because it was too raw to tell the whole truth, in all its intricate and painful details that soon- and the attempts failed.

Soon it was summer and I spent much of it with my new friends.

In the next school year my old friends and my tormentors still would make smart comments or something when I walked past but the more I ignored it, the more I showed no reaction, the less they did it though it never totally stopped throughout my whole time at high school.

Teenagers can be cruel and girls I think the cruelest of the bunch. Sure teenage boys can be cruel too but girls are bitchy and that is much worse in my opinion. Boys might have a fight and then it’s done with. Girls will just bitch and snipe and make you miserable. My tormentors never said sorry, never acknowledged I didn’t do it. I occasionally see their names pop up as comments on mutual friends posts on Facebook and I look at their profiles and see how perfect their lives seem. Both are married, one has two kids, one has one. I wonder, when I see them, how it’s fair that they get the perfect life and I don’t. There is no sign of karma having ever gone their way for what they did to me. As for the girls who were my friends before the decree, I’m Facebook friends with a couple of them. We never really spoke again at school. But, with school far behind us and time dulling some of the bad memories and letting most people look back at their school days as the halcyon days of youth, and remember the good times not the bad, a couple of them are friends on Facebook. Only one have I ever really caught up with but another two I do talk to sometimes on there.

I do believe that, to this day, it has affected me. Just writing this is affecting me: for instance I’m feeling a bit sick, my hands are a bit shaky, and I feel like I want to have a bit of a cry. (Yes- I still have tears left despite those eight long months. The human body can be, I think, up to 65% water. I swear back then my percentage was much lower because of my nightly crying myself to sleep.) But I feel good having written this, having gotten one of my stories off my chest. Sure there are others in my life I may talk about in the future but this is one that shaped me. For instance I know I can be a bit of a needy friend, wanting to see friends more often, wondering when I haven’t heard from them in a certain amount of time if I’ve been replaced or done something to make them angry or upset. I take things way too personally, am far too sensitive about things said or done, I overthink things. And I have no self-confidence at all. I don’t see the good in me. Outside or in. When someone gives me a compliment my first reaction is to laugh at them. Especially if they say something positive about my body. I look at them and I say, “are you blind…”