#they keep saying jonas’ name and i cant even tell if its a good thing 😂

[indie-summer]

me trying to watch this fucking race and not understanding a single word of polish is such a throwback to uae tour

[delectablyalicee]

Nick Jonas’s New Assistant (Part Three)

Part One  Part Two

You get a call one day, someone asking you to fill a personal assistant job. They give you little information as to who for, but when you found out, things get a little more interesting.

After I came home last night I sat down with myself and just breathes. Oh yeah, It's Nick Jonas. That is crazy. It's totally 100% crazy, but it is what's happening. They called me, offered me the job, I needed it, and now we're here. I was definitely star stuck the other day, but I am a professional, and I need to act that way no matter who I am working for. I know the initial shock will wear off eventually, besides. I basically just make sure Nick gets where he needs to be and gets everything he needs in the process. It's not like I have to be his best friend. I've worked with plenty of people I had no outside of work relationships with. I can do this.

It was 7 am sharp today. This time it was a text, letting me know the car for me is here. I grab my bag, sliding it over my shoulder and double checking everything is inside. The planner, check. The contact list, check. Both of my phones, check. I grab the one for work and hold it tight in my hand. Last night I went through and put all the contacts inside of it as well as everything that was in the planner into my calendar. This is my lifeline so I need it close. I step outside and smile at George as he opens the car door for me. I thank him and slide inside. We do the same ride as yesterday, same roads, same streets, same houses passing by. When we finally pull up to Nicks place I am ready.

I thank George again as he opens the door for me, I slide out, tugging my blouse back into place. It being tucked tightly into a pair of dark blue jeans, a blazer layered over top. I walk up to the door, knocking as I open it, calling out Nicks name. As I do I peek my head in, but I don't see him. I give George a thumbs up before I step inside, letting the door shut behind me.

"Nick, Its (y/n), you awake?" He probably isn't. It is 7:30 am. I start to walk up the stairs, figuring I would just go wake him up. I look down at my phone. We need to be somewhere in an hour. I walk up to his bedroom, the door is shut. I lift a hand to knock.

"Nick hello, its time to wa-" I am cut off by the door opening, Nick standin in front of me with nothing but blanket wrapped around his lower half.

"Shit (y/n) forgot about the early morning can you just give me a second?" He asks.

I nod "Yeah, but we have to leave in 30 minutes." Today I speak with way more confidence when speaking to him. He's my boss, treat him that way.

"Yup, got it." He nods.

"Don't be late." I say a bit jokingly as I turn around, heading back down the stairs. I start the coffee pot, this time setting it to make enough for the both of us. I grab to mugs from the cabinet and set them out before taking a seat at the bar stool, pulling my phone from my pocket. I open the calendar and look at today.

8:30 am Morning show interview

12:00pm Lunch meeting with tour manager

9:00 pm Listening party at the studio

He might have let me off easy yesterday, but today is a full day, but I am more than ready for it. I check the time, Its been about a few minutes. I hear the coffee machine go off and get up, grabbing the freshly brewed pot and pouring it into both cups. I hear footsteps hurrying down the stairs.

"we still hav—" I cut myself off as I look up and see that its in fact, not Nick, but some girl I've never seen before.

"smells good" she says, looking at the coffee as she quickly passes by me, hurrying out the front door. I can't help but laugh a bit. I thought that shit only happened in movies. But then again, I am the assistant of a famous musician and actor. I shake my head a bit and put some sugar and creamer into my coffee, giving it a stir before taking a sip. About a minute later I hear heavier footsteps coming down the stairs, I look up to see Nick. I grab the coffee I just poured him and hand it over before taking a sip of my own.

"Had fun last night I see" I say jokingly as I keep my eyes locked onto my phone screen

Nick laughs a bit and I look up at him, he shrugs. "I mean, yeah."

We both laugh, and I shake my head. "Alright, well we've got places to be." I dump whats left in my mug into the sink, setting it inside before heading over to the door, opening it and gesturing for nick to go ahead of me.

"Ladies first" he says as he holds onto the door, I nod a thank you and step past him. Making my way to the car.

During the car ride it stays pretty silent until Nick speaks up, "Big change I see."

I look down at myself, thinking maybe I dressed way too differently, before giving him a slightly confused look.

He chuckles and speaks again, "You just seem less... scared. No offence of course!"

I laugh a bit and then nod, "Yeah, what did I say, I like to be good at my job."

He nods but doesn't say anything else.

"anyway," I say "the hosts of the morning show are names Lisa and David. Its supposed to be about a 15-20 minute run through and then we're out. We need to leave pretty much immediately after because we have a lunch meeting with Lucas, your tour manager. Sound okay?" I ask as I look over at him. I smile spreads widely across his face as he nods his head.

"sounds perfect."

The morning show went well, thankfully. We stayed on schedule and had no major mishaps. It's about 9:45 and they are pulling the wires from the mic off of Nick. He is talking to the two hosts, smiles and jokes are being shared. I see him tug his shirt up just slightly to help the sound guy relieve him from the wires of the mic. I couldn't help but stare, but I quickly pull my eyes away. Nope, I cant do that. He is my boss. This is professional. I nod to myself and am startled by a hand on my shoulder. I turn my head to see George.

"we ready to head out?" He asks me

I smile and nod at him, "yup one second."

I move away and over to nick and the hosts, "Sorry to break this up guys, Nick and I just have somewhere important to be." The hosts nod in understanding and Nick gives me an approving smile. I thank the hosts and say a quick goodbye before having security come to help escort us out. As we get closer to the exit I hear something weird..

"Is that.. Is that.. screaming?" I turn to Nick and George with a confused look. They both laugh immediately.

"Oh yes, that's screaming. You'll get used to it. Just stay close to the security guards and you'll be fine" George says

My eyes widen a bit out of shock, I guess this never crossed my mind, that we would need to deal with well.. fans, crazy ones at that. The security opens the doors and the screaming irrupts, hitting me like a ton of bricks. George and I smoosh nick between us as the guards cover us. We slowly make our way to the car, hands reaching out in hopes for a touch, inaudible screams becoming even louder the closer Nicks to someone. It felt like we were talking for hours, but it was really only a short few steps to the car. George opens the door and I give Nick a gentle shove inside before quickly sliding in after, shutting the door tightly. I hear the car start up and we make a slow decent forward. I jump as I'm startled by a hand hitting the window, I look to see the face of a girl who looks to be 15. Her teeth are lined with braces and she's screaming something I cannot understand. I turn to Nick.

"I swear this is like a scene out of a scary movie" I say, laughing.

"it can feel like that sometimes. They mean the best. The Paparazzi are the ones that can sometimes get to me, but I love seeing fans be there for me."

"Wow, you really are as nice as they say."

"I try" he replies with a chuckle.

"well, on that note. We've got an hour drive to lunch, you hungry?"

"I will be."

"perfect."

The ride stayed pretty quiet, Nick and I both staying busy on our phone's. Phil texted me checking in, and I was glad I could confidently tell him things were going well. Once we get to the place we were meeting Lucas for lunch I see us drive around to the back. Once the car stops, two large men step out of the back door.

"that's our que" Nick says, scooting closer to me to make me step out of the car.

I don't see any screaming girls this time, so I open the door and slide out, grabbing my bag as Nick slides out after me. The guards lead us inside. I can hear other people talking and enjoying their lunches, but I don't see them. We are lead into a private room where Lucas is already sitting. He stands as we walk in. Nick and him share a hug before he extends a hand out to me.

"Lucas, and you are?" he asks

"(y/n), Nicks Assistant." I smile, giving him a firm handshake.

"Wow, I was hoping for Nicks sake you were a new girlfriend" He says jokingly. I laugh and shake my head a bit as I sit down, seeing Nick give Lucas a death glare.

"Excuse me can you not harass my assistant." Nick says to Lucas in a joking manner.

Lucas just laughs and then reaches for a notebook, setting it on the table. As he does so a waiter comes by, asking us what we would like to drink. Nick orders a beer on draft, I just ask for a water. The waiter steps out and we all pull the menus open. My eyes widen a bit at the prices. Wow.. I think Nick notices my shock and leans in, handing a gold credit card to me.

"Almost forgot this. "Company" card. Takes care of all expenses like this." He starts speaking louder now "except this one, cause Lucas has got this one, right Lucas?" I take the card from Nicks hand as Lucas laughs.

"ah, I got hers, but you're on your own, buddy" They both laugh, I do as well as I slip the card into my wallet. Company expenses. Funny since the "company" is Nick.

We order a food and then get right to business. Lucas starts naming off bands/artists they could line up to open for him on his next upcoming tour. Some I've heard of, some I haven't. Nick Maybe's and No's them as Lucas lists them off. They narrow It down to all the maybe's and go from there. They finally settle on 3 that they both think are good. They both ask me my opinion, but I haven't heard of any of the bands they chose so I just smiled and nodded and went along with what I think they wanted me to say. Our food comes shortly after and we immediately dig in, Lucas and Nick still talking business.

"Are we just naming it after the album?" Lucas asks Nick

Nick nods "yeah, I mean it's the reason I'm touring so might as well."

They both nod as they take bites. Soon business talk starts to end and friendly banter begins, something I can be way more apart of. We talk and laugh and joke a bit. Talking a little more even after our meals are finished. The waiter brings the check, Lucas taking it from him with a thankyou before slipping a credit card inside without even a glance at the price and handing it back. I look at the time, 2:24. We talk a little more before finally deciding to part ways. As I say goodbye Lucas takes my hand, jokingly bowing and kissing the top of it. I can't help but laugh

"Nice meeting you, my lady" I shake my head with a laugh and curtsey at him

"Nice meeting you my good sir." He laughs back and then turns to say goodbye to Nick. He whispers something to him, but I can't hear. All I see is Nick give him an eye roll and a friendly punch to the shoulder. Goodbyes are done and we start heading to the door we came in at.

"So last thing on the agenda today is a 9:00 listening party at the studio, sound familiar to you?"

"Oh yeah, it's my good buddies listening party, it should be fun. Not until 9 you said?"

I nod in response. Alright well, we'll drop you off at your place so you can get ready and then I'll pick you up around 8:45, how does that sound."

"Good to me." I give him a smile before the security guards pushes the door open and I make my way to the car, sliding inside. Nick follows close behind.  

I'm applying my lipstick as I hear my work phone go off. It's Nick. "Outside. Hope you're ready" I read it with a chuckle and finish up what I was doing, grabbing my purse before stepping outside. I smile a hello to George as a slide carefully into the car beside Nick.

"You look great" He says to me with a smile

"Why thank you, so do you"

"Oh you know, I try" he says with a chuckle.

The drive is pretty short, we show up about 10 minutes after 9 and I see cars lined up for blocks and gorgeous people getting out of them. Some of them faces I recognize from magazines and such, some people I've never seen. Nick gets out of the car first and hurries over to open the door for me. I chuckle a bit at the gesture and take his hand for assistance as I step our of the car. Smoothing out my dress. I look up and see Phil walking toward us.

"Big second day, huh?"

I laugh and nod "It really is, interesting though, and thankfully going well. At least I think."

Phil looks at Nick, he nods and the a smile spreads over Phils face.

"So glad it's working out. It may have only been two days but I am already 100 times less stressed having to deal with this ass all the time." He laughs, giving Nick a playful shove. Nick jokingly rolls his eyes then offers me an arm to take as we start to make our way into the building. I look my arm around his and follow him inside. There is way more people than I was expecting to be inside. It's a weird feeling being at something like this, being surrounded by so many big names. I am relieved when I notice Nick not ever leaving me behind. If he goes somewhere to talk to someone new he always brings me along for the conversation. It's a saving grace, I don't know I could have handled this just yet on my own. I spend a lot of my time explaining I'm his new assistant, but I don't mind. Everyone I meet is very nice and very talkative, which thankfully makes it easier to keep up a conversation.

The night goes on and things continue to go smoothly, I have a few glasses of champagne but nothing more, I am still technically on the clock. Nick however had quite a few beers, but the end of the night I could tell he was getting pretty drunk, and as things started to end he said his goodbye and linked his arm with mine to leave, although this time is was more of me keeping him up and walking straight. He kept cracking jokes left and right as we walked, laughing, I struggle to get him inside.

"I'm glad to see you had fun"

"I did, a lot of fun. First time I brought home a girl I didn't plan on having sex with" He laughs and so do I, I shake my head a bit and we take off. George pulls up to my apartment and I tell him to get Nick home safe and thank him again before stepping out. Once I find my way back into my house I take seat on my couch and take a deep breath. It was a lot, but it went well. I really think I can do this.

[zepdeans]

there’s not a lot I can say about s3 that hasn’t already been said (and articulated 200x better) but! here are some of my (albeit dumb) thoughts :~)

ep1 -isak leaning against the bathroom wall gets me EVERY time its such a powerful scene esp introducing you to s3 and tarjei..... spare some talent for the rest of us please -LiTeN gUtTeN fRa StRaNgEr tHiNgS -isak rly ties his pants w a shoelace...... -isak noticing even for the first time bc of his laugh.. whew.... also. i love this intro SOOO much bc its so non-monumental? theres no dramatic music or whatever but its not subtle.... like you know right away o shit love interest!! hello sir!! bc isak’s expression watching him :’) i could go on -isak is a bad liar HOWEVER this only applies to stupid nontrivial things e.g. the black sweatshirt. but when you look at him lying about like, his sexuality, he hides that shit well -”c00l” isak. i hate u so much -honestly all u have to do is look at even for .2 seconds and u can tell this boy has had a crush for a solid month bc he just looks awestruck (HOWEVER henrik’s acting is *chef’s kiss* bc its subtle enough to go undetected b4 you actually know eVEN SAW HIM ON THE FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL) -even isak and emma all sitting on the bench together is funny enough on its on but then a song called threeway comes on and like. julie sdshjsfdjfkjskd ep2 -there’s something so endearing about even’s handwriting idek what -i LOVE even’s video w mikael it reveals so much about him to us- how weird (ok we saw how weird he was w the paper towel thing but) and dorky he is? and his love of film! his view on love stories and how he sees the world :( but it also shows a lot abt isak because he saw even making stupid jokes about vladimir putin and was like yeah we about to fall in LOVE love -isak not using headphones to watch even’s video or r+j?? bde or general incompetence what’s the verdict guys -the isak watching r+j scene hits so hard like yall ever think about isak lying in bed at 3am staring at the ceiling probably thinking about how he’s never gonna get a beautiful world-shattering romance like that like ..... also him changing positions skam get out of my life go away ur too realistic -not to make this even more self-projection-y but isak simultaneously being the least emotionally vulnerable person ever but crying during r+j > -i made a post abt this already but even’s INTENSE staring vs isak’s “i have never looked anyone in the eye in my life” gets me it says so much about their characters -even said i see your bde move (asking me to buy you beer) and i raise u with my own (inviting you to my house after faking not having my id) -”if you listen to music” even is such a dick fsdjhsdff -when the message comes on...... i rlly do owe julie my life huh -”have you heard about my rapping?” “I have actually” have we talked about this enough????? 1. isak finally feels comfortable enough w even to flirt and his first move is to RAP for him jesus christ. keep in mind this is the same man who pulled that smooth af ibuprofen line w emma like...... 2. even has heard about isak’s rapping. either this means im-not-on-social-media even went out of his way to go thru homeboy’s instagram OR isak’s rapping is actually talked about. i- -the group chat messages. cant believe i forgot about the 2016 clown epidemic

ep3  -mahdi is a good friend and i love him. thank u -even wearing isak’s cap until he chucks it at him sjksfjsdjsd -how much yall wanna bet isak’s been listening to illmatic on repeat since last friday thinking abt even (even tho meeting sonja shattered his heart a lil) [also kinda an aside but i think a lot about how isak n even bonded over rap and how some homophobic lyrics in 90s etc rap might have impacted them? or how that little detail ties into julie’s story? e.g. halftime by nas, which is on illmatic] -whats worse. even staring into isaks soul wearing a size xs see-through white t shirt or isak staring at even for five (5) seconds before chugging his beer and immediately making out w emma. OR even crashing that party before it can start “i think you guys are bonding too much” cheesy ass shjhfsdhskdf -yall act like evak didnt invent hands. did even shaking isak’s shoulder telling him his apartment is nice mean nothing to u -im convinced robyn wrote call your girlfriend for this scene specifically bc how could anything fit so perfectly by coincidence -is anything better than egging isak on- even bech naesheim (2016) -idk if yall have read the scripts but i love the sock thing so much bc its soo true to how isak thinks and it makes everything so much more interesting and !!!

ep4  -i will never get over even sending isak bad seinfeld memes -even smacking open isak’s locker. first of all whew second of all u think as soon as he got into the stairwell he lowkey cried bc ow -parallel of isak saying “it’s 2016, why are you religious?” to sana vs. emma’s “it’s 2016, get out of the closet” to isak anyone :( -”takk sanasol!!!!” thank u isak for my life -I wanted to be with you aloneeeee -even’s face when he sees the pool like we get it youre a director -how many times do i need to say even is such a dick sjkfsd “does it look like i care about my hair?” “usually but not right now” like this would only work on isak i love soulmates!! -even just.. fully choking isak out ssdhgfd got em -when the first notes of im kissing you start ooh boy -even going in for the kill kiss and isak going from huh to oooo shit and pushing his lips out at the last minute. phenomenal 

ep5 -ngl as soon as im not in love comes on my heart goes uwu bc like!!!! that song the meaNING.... them......... i jus love this scene sm like theyre in their own little bubble and they both feel so comfortable and at peace :((  -even leaving isak comics about an inside joke of theirs like yall mind if i scream -isak feeling left out from the conversation and his friends whew i felt that... and having them talk about how gross it is to makeout with a girl w facial hair?? blease :( -taking stock of isak’s nicknames: issy k, isabell, izzy, baby jesus, -im not even gonna bother trying to articulate thoughts on Pause bc it’s a literal masterpiece. thank u tarjei henrik and julie for inventing television with this one  -MAGNUS SDFKJSDFJKDSHK "oooh my name is Jonas and I love idealism and reading klassekampen and I don’t like plastic and I skate on a skateboard made of sustainable wood and wear old clothes because new clothes are bad for the environment and I only drink recycled water” screAMMM -what i said abt pause also applies to pride ugh its such a powerful scene and!! the beginning of kicks to isaks stomach. honestly what i fucking love about this episode is how it goes from hell yea best day w even ever to crying in the street within one week (s3 had the best balance of angst and payoff thanks) -even’s Soft Party Flannel... forever tainted by this scene rip -not knowing why even kissed sonja keeps me up at night -speaking of. how used and stupid isak must’ve felt when he saw even completely unbothered, hooking up w his ex at this party?? whew :( -bros is one of my all time favourite clips solely bc of the music?? lift me up gives me chills and when hold my liquor starts i LOSE it -ep5 and 6 remind me of that quote “to see what your characters are really made of you have to break them” because julie rlly goes all in and god it hurts so good

ep6 -never have i ever seen insomnia portrayed as accurately as tarjei did here and i remember when i first watched the cantina scene i was like. winded bc its SO true to sleep deprivation whew -i really like that isak wasnt together with even when he reached out for help and came out to jonas. bc it was him, on his own, being strong enough to talk to his friends and then eventually he was confident and secure enough in himself to be in a good place when even started reaching back out!! -i have no idea what its like to come out to someone, to be afraid of your friends rejecting you, everything isak went through. but tarjei’s acting of when, like, you have something you KNOW you have to tell someone, and youve put yourself in the position where youre going to have to tell them, but youre terrified and eventually just force yourself SAY the words??  -and isak’s smile when he realizes jonas is gonna be his bro no matter what :’)))

ep7 -weirdly one of my favourite isak looks (black t-shirt grey snapback c-c-c-combo) -”what’s your name again?” have i mentioned i love sana and isak bc i love sana and isak -jonas truly is the best friend oh man. perceptive, thoughtful, loving, laidback, a friggen BRO. tbh i was wary of him in s1 and thought he didn’t treat eva well (tho I recognized he loved her a lot, he was just bad at being a boyfriend) but jonas in s3?? just goes to show how powerful your perspective of someone can change viewing them in a different role!! because while jonas was a crappy bf, he literally is SUCH an incredible friend and his actions and words and just! him! in s3 completely redeemed any illwill I had towards him :’) -maybe im a little gay (up there with other s3 comedy classics such as “thats a boys name”) -mahdi season WHEN ugh a legend -’when someone asks isak if hes going to a family party’ literally what other reason for living do i have if not to read the boy squad text convos -isaks locker finally opening and his smile at evens drawing whewwwwwww!! also even rlly is that guy who wont text you back but will leave hand written love letters in ur locker -also. another stellar look from valtersen -slutt a meld meg is a whole masterpiece like what other piece of media has the RANGE -eskild: play hard to get. jonas: no smiley!!! isak: nah fam im good B)

ep8 -this episode is BEAUTIFUL bc you feel practically euphoric?? like hell yeah theyre finally together!! isak is out and accepted and even is done with sonja! but theres also this unsettling undercurrent of worry bc you know deep down something isnt right? why is sonja calling isak? why is even acting kinda strange? whats going on? yknow?? -literally never going to get over 5 fine frokner :~) even is such a goddamn nerd and he’s the man of isak’s dreams can u believe!!  -sana’s little speech is SO important in so many ways ooo i love her so much -also have we discussed eskild making evak do a photoshoot for him. highkey those are my favourite pictures of ALL time u can tell even was like hm strange but im down while isak was more omg guys stop🙄 omg haha eskild i cant believe youre making me cuddle with even for a photo🙄 i cant believe ur making me snuggle this dude for a pic!!!! definitely would not have done this otherwise!!! -magnus only realizing it’s THAT even after seeing how isak looks at him. whew -isak is so brave i rlly love that kid! his text to his mamma <3 -no r*make will EVER nail text conversations like mari/julie did w evak’s this week thanks for coming to my ted talk. i'd quote the best ones but it would literally double the length of this post (ok ill cave. “hahaha shut up❤️” GETS me) -you dont know whats in store but you know what youre here for. hallo -isak running around oslo with even’s clothes looking for him :( his heart is so big he cares about even so so much -when Part II (on the run) comes on in the credits its like a kick in the teeth honestly

ep9 -ive already screamed enough about cherry wine but god it fucks me up -cannot put into words how much I love eskild and how good of a person he is, he just has so much love in his heart  -”wait they have waffles here? see ya” -this convo is why i love skam so much!!!! magnus giving insight and good thoughtful advice to isak was such a brilliant move by julie (also truLy heartwarming) bc like. magnus is a flawed layered character! he’s dumb and ignorant and not very careful with his words BUT hes also such a sweet guy. i genuinely dont think he would hurt a fly and him talking about vilde (in ep10) is ;-; bc he really likes her and respects her and wants to be a gentleman! hes so loving and just. yeah. also i wonder if isak and magnus (and vilde) ever talked about having mentally ill parents and lent on each other for support bc like....<3 [sidenote- this is why i HATE b***** like they absolutely massacred magnus’s character and magnus did not deserve that!] -det er bare slutt........ very cool of tarjei to invent acting here. also the character development makes me WEEP like at first isak lied and told his pappa it was over bc its easier to brush stuff off and say you were joking than be vulnerable especially about 1. having a boyfriend and 2. saying youve already broken up?? but then isak was like hey im done with lying about who i am bc i want my life to be REAL and he told his dad the truth even if it was hard and even if he was trying rlly hard not to cry  -isak reaching out to even<3 standing up for even<3 -o helga natt. another scene i genuinely cannot comment on bc u cant really put into any written language how magical and breathtaking and heartbreaking and powerful and brilliant this scene is. so. -jk. obvs i cant say anything intelligent enough to give this scene justice but probably the most stunning piece of television i have ever had the privilege of watching. even’s text breaks my heart every gd time (esp since we never really see this side of him before finding out he’s bipolar? his guilt, insecurity, feeling like a burden, being scared of losing everyone in his life because he thinks he’ll hurt them). the music is SO beautiful i cry real tears as soon as the strings start. also the brilliance of JUST o helga natt playing and no dialogue except for isaks one line? isak’s realization when he sees the cross. him RUNNING across oslo to go to even. the FLASHBACKS all going backwards in chronological order until them smoking on the bench. isak looking at the bench and not seeing even and u can feel his heart breaking and urs breaks too! but then he remembers the bathroom and he turns and theres even and whewwww. du er ikke alene<3

ep10 -minutt for minutt is THE most healing clip im telling u. and like.. seeing even depressed really is hard and as someone who was very very depressed for 4-ish yrs of their life it rlly hits me? like when youre in an especially bad funk and you cant get out of bed and youre just numb and exhausted and feel so shitty and u want to be alone but you really dont???? could go on but literally i owe henrik holm my life for his portrayal of even  -not to be a soft bitch on main but when isak tucks the blanket over even and it keeps getting pulled off his back so isak just. covers that spot with himself? -i do love that call between sonja and isak bc once again! a flawed (realistic) human being -and isak thinking its his fault even is depressed? it means a lot that sonja told him its no ones fault, even is just bipolar. and i wonder if isak felt that way about his mamma as well, guilty for her being ill, and if what sonja said made him feel better about that situation too :( -lowkey random but when isak is rambling really fast and he goes “maybe we’ll get bombed tomorrow and talking about all this is a waste of time” it continually punches me in the throat bc that is /exactly/ how i ramble and think like tarjei........ pls -like eskild said. there really is so much love in isak’s little grumpy teenage body<3 -isak no longer just passively accepting life as its given to him, now he fights for him and even!!!!!  -isak is such a forgiving person and seeing him able to just accept things and move on? incredible -i remember when i first watched ep1 i was like oooo even and isak are gonna be kosegruppa partners and thats when theyll first get together, cooking food or smth!! but lmfao after episode 3? kosegruppa whomst???? also hilarious vilde thought isak of all people would willingly sign up for kosegruppa just to go to revue parties -even and linn friendship!!!! -cannot articulate how mf heartwarming it is to see even smiling and being more himself after being depressed (also thank u julie for having ups and downs coming out of his depression- its so true to life having one day when youre feeling awesome and then the next you feel awful again for no reason and its SO frustrating) -I had to stop watching passe pa meg cause it made me toooooo crazy! it would just be like: “I like seeing you laugh” and I was like: *SCREAMS* -im the fucking master of lying 😤 -literally don’t know why isak and even ragging on kosegruppa is so funny but “did you think I joined to have fun” gets me every time -I SAW YOU THE FIRST DAY OF SCHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL -also even literally radiating love @ isak watching get snarky w vilde on the phone bc it reminded him of the first time he saw him! even rly is that boyfriend who thinks isak being pissy is the Best Thing he has Ever seen -halla boiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiz -literally the glo up of isak telling his friends the order in which he’d bang them -No filter! wow I love symbolism -so nice to see the girls together for a lil bit :) -the boys hyping up mags while also telling him to be respectful awwwwww -take desperate to a whole new level- Confucius  -who’s going to show isak how to properly hold a beer can -literally evak banter gets me thru the day. thank u tarjei and henrik for having phenomenal chemistry + improvisation skills + making isak and even the dumbest nerdiest boys i have ever seen -biology partner. and friend. ;-; -even literally is the biggest stoner blease -isak’s talk with eva is just sooooo<3 and not to be emo on main but every single word of the last few sentences he says hit me so gd hard because i feel the exact same way in my BONES -livet er nå 💛

final thoughts :( <3 -this season is so special. it feels like one really long oscar-worthy movie or smth?? i cant even exblain, its just magical. ALSO very dear to my heart. -julie really said you guys have seen isak sad and alone and repressed for the past two seasons so heres him falling in love with the best person in the world and coming to terms with who he is and being brave and opening up and finally being happy and living a real life -this season definitely feels different from s1/2/4 to me editing or production or music smth wise? as in, its got a lot fewer aesthetic shots and the cinematography seems a bit different if that makes any sense???? I also think this is the season most focused just on the main (i.e. not many- if any? sideplots going on) -literally will never get over the thought, love, and detail put into this season. when i say there is literally nothing i would change about it, i mean it and coming from my nitpicky ass??? means a lot lmfao. the acting, directing, music choices, symbolism...... sublime -s3′s cold rainy autumn aesthetic makes me ACHE for fall and also nostalgic for a highschool experience I never had lmao?? also. all the nighttime clips >>> -don’t know what else to say except thank u skam for my life

[urscottsdale]

1-100 😌

1:when you have cereal, do you have more milk than cereal or more cereal than milk? i rarely eat cereal but i think i usually balance them pretty equally or try to lol

2:do you like the feeling of cold air on your cheeks on a wintery day? i love it as long as im all bundled up

3:what random objects do you use to bookmark your books? usually the closest piece of paper i can find

4:how do you take your coffee/tea? with lots of sugar 😏

5:are you self-conscious of your smile? very

6:do you keep plants? nope

7:do you name your plants? nada

8:what artistic medium do you use to express your feelings? writing and music

9:do you like singing/humming to yourself? sometimes

10:do you sleep on your back, side, or stomach? all of the above

11:what’s an inner joke you have with your friends? no friends, no jokes other than maybe im the quiet one

12:what’s your favorite planet? pluto

13:what’s something that made you smile today? my dog

14:if you were to live with your best friend in an old flat in a big city, what would it look like? my room: messy, theirs: clean

15:go google a weird space fact and tell us what it is! uranus is tilted on its side 😉

16:what’s your favorite pasta dish? spaghetti

17:what color do you really want to dye your hair? blue

18:tell us about something dumb/funny you did that has since gone down in history between you and your friends and is always brought up. idk tbh

19:do you keep a journal? what do you write/draw/ in it? i dont

20:what’s your favorite eye color? brown eyes 😍

21:talk about your favorite bag, the one that’s been to hell and back with you and that you love to pieces. who comes up with these questions? bc i dont have a favorite bag

22:are you a morning person? no i hate mornings

23:what’s your favorite thing to do on lazy days where you have 0 obligations? listen to music

24:is there someone out there you would trust with every single one of your secrets? theres a couple, one doesnt know it tho

25:what’s the weirdest place you’ve ever broken into? never broken into anywhere lol

26:what are the shoes you’ve had for forever and wear with every single outfit? vanz

27:what’s your favorite bubblegum flavor? mint

28:sunrise or sunset? sunset

29:what’s something really cute that one of your friends does and is totally endearing? randomly checking up on me and actually meaning it when they say they care

30:think of it: have you ever been truly scared? a handful of times yes

31:what is your opinion of socks? do you like wearing weird socks? do you sleep with socks? do you confine yourself to white sock hell? really, just talk about socks. love socks and wearing them, dont sleep in them and i have an assortment of colors bc white is boring

32:tell us a story of something that happened to you after 3AM when you were with friends. there was this time i went out drinking with my friend after graduation, these two guys were hitting on her after she called them gay (even bought us drinks), my friend is gay so that was interesting lol

33:what’s your fave pastry? doughnuts

34:tell us about the stuffed animal you kept as a kid. what is it called? what does it look like? do you still keep it? winnie the pooh and hell yes i still have it

35:do you like stationary and pretty pens and so on? do you use them often? love them but never use them

36:which band’s sound would fit your mood right now? backstreet boys

37:do you like keeping your room messy or clean? i like keeping it clean but it tends to stay messy lol

38:tell us about your pet peeves! i have too many pet peeves tbh

39:what color do you wear the most? blue and maroon (not together tho)

40:think of a piece of jewelry you own: what’s it’s story? does it have any meaning to you? cross necklace is self-explanatory, dog tag necklace i got from my parents so it holds a special meaning to me

41:what’s the last book you remember really, really loving? to kill a mockingbird

42:do you have a favorite coffee shop? describe it! starbucks…

43:who was the last person you gazed at the stars with? lol one of my friends back in like 5th grade

44:when was the last time you remember feeling completely serene and at peace with everything? summer and winter breaks in high school

45:do you trust your instincts a lot? yup

46:tell us the worst pun you can think of. sex while camping is fucking in tents ;)

47:what food do you think should be banned from the universe? most kinds of fish

48:what was your biggest fear as a kid? is it the same today? being alone, and yes actually

49:do you like buying CDs and records? what was the last one you bought? yes but i cant remember tbh. most i have were gifted to me.

50:what’s an odd thing you collect? keys

51:think of a person. what song do you associate with them? @thisvanessa - count on me by bruno mars

52:what are your favorite memes of the year so far? im pretty sure ive never seen a meme i didnt love so. the spongebob one is pretty good tho.

53:have you ever watched the rocky horror picture show? heathers? beetlejuice? pulp fiction? what do you think of them? i wish i could tell u

54:who’s the last person you saw with a true look of sadness on their face? my dog lol

55:what’s the most dramatic thing you’ve ever done to prove a point? idk im pretty passive aggressive so i do a lot lol

56:what are some things you find endearing in people? same as earlier, randomly checking up on me and also saying they miss me

57:go listen to bohemian rhapsody. how did it make you feel? did you dramatically reenact the lyrics? nope

58:who’s the wine mom and who’s the vodka aunt in your group of friends? why? my ex friend is the wine mom and idk maybe im the vodka aunt lol

59:what’s your favorite myth? the earth is flat

60:do you like poetry? what are some of your faves? yess langston hughes and edgar allan poe

61:what’s the stupidest gift you’ve ever given? the stupidest one you’ve ever received? cant think of any tbh, maybe the dancing chicken that used to be passed around for years in my family

62:do you drink juice in the morning? which kind? orange juice and cran-grape juice

63:are you fussy about your books and music? do you keep them meticulously organized or kinda leave them be? i just leave them be

64:what color is the sky where you are right now? gray

65:is there anyone you haven’t seen in a long time who you’d love to hang out with? yes

66:what would your ideal flower crown look like? idk not big on flower crowns

67:how do gloomy days where the sky is dark and the world is misty make you feel? i love them so much

68:what’s winter like where you live? hot with a random cold day here and there

69:what are your favorite board games? wahoo/marbles, sorry, candyland, pretty much all of them lol

70:have you ever used a ouija board? nope

71:what’s your favorite kind of tea? sweet tea

72:are you a person who needs to note everything down or else you’ll forget it? yes but im also too lazy to note things so i end up forgetting a lot

73:what are some of your worst habits? procrastination

74:describe a good friend of yours without using their name or gendered pronouns. beautiful, bubbly, cute, always smiling even tho i know they r sad deep down

75:tell us about your pets! small, black fur ball full of energy

76:is there anything you should be doing right now but aren’t? so many things

77:pink or yellow lemonade? pink

78:are you in the minion hateclub or fanclub? neither im a minion dc club

79:what’s one of the cutest things someone has ever done for you? idk told me i give them butterflies or get nervous when talking to me

80:what color are your bedroom walls? did you choose that color? if so, why? i think they r an off white an bc my apartment landlord wont let me change them lol

81:describe one of your friend’s eyes using the most abstract imagery you can think of. dark pools of chocolate

82:are/were you good in school? i was alright could of been better if i wasnt so lazy

83:what’s some of your favorite album art? never thought about that maybe something justin bieber has done

84:are you planning on getting tattoos? which ones? i want to but im not sure tbh

85:do you read comics? what are your faves? nope

86:do you like concept albums? which ones? yes theres a lot

87:what are some movies you think everyone should watch at least once in their lives? high school musical

88:are there any artistic movements you particularly enjoy? yes

89:are you close to your parents? yes

90:talk about your one of you favorite cities. im pretty sure i could never get tired of nyc

91:where do you plan on traveling this year? i successfully did not travel anywhere this year, thank you bank account ur the best

92:are you a person who drowns their pasta in cheese or a person who barely sprinkles a pinch? drown it in cheese

93:what’s the hairstyle you wear the most? short hair, short on the sides and longer on top

94:who was the last person you know to have a birthday? me

95:what are your plans for this weekend? lazy days

96:do you install your computer updates really quickly or do you procrastinate on them a lot? procrastination is my middle name

97:myer briggs type, zodiac sign, and hogwarts house? INFP, scorpio and hufflepuff

98:when’s the last time you went hiking? did you enjoy it? i dont think ive ever been hiking but i want to

99:list some songs that resonate to your soul whenever you hear them. over and over again by tim mcgraw, make you miss me by sam hunt, remember when by alan jackson, unhinged by nick jonas, chainsaw by nick jonas, untitled by simple plan and welcome to my life by simple plan

100:if you were presented with two buttons, one that allows you to go 5 years into the past, the other 5 years into the future, which one would you press? why? damn thats a really hard one. probably the future tbh.

[theconservativebrief]

Halfway through The Meg, I squinted at my notes and realized I’d just been writing down names of other blockbusters I’d seen this summer. And in the case of The Meg (a.k.a. Jason Statham Fights a Giant Prehistoric Shark), that’s a feature, not a bug.

To call the film “derivative” isn’t pejorative; it’s kind of the point. The Meg is a shark movie (a well-established and dearly loved summer blockbuster subgenre since Jaws codified it in 1975) starring Jason Statham (an action subgenre unto himself) that never gets too ambitious, despite the size of its “monster,” as several people call the shark. There’s some sluggish action, a little tension, a few clearly telegraphed jump scares, a bit of romance, a cute kid, and some blandly conceived wisecracks nestled into blandly conceived dialogue.

What results is a film that’s both eminently watchable and eminently skippable. Based on the novels by Steve Alten, The Meg may be the Platonic ideal of a big, brainless summer movie: fun to watch and very easy to forget. It’s exactly the movie you’re expecting.

In a sense, The Meg’s predictability works in its favor; late-summer entertainment often seems engineered to give people an excuse to enjoy overactive air conditioning for a few hours without having to think too hard about what’s playing in front of them. But it’s also a bit of a shame, since the posters for The Meg suggested something epic, visually stunning, and a tad quippier — both a shark movie and a feature-length joke about shark movies.

Instead, in the hands of Jon Turteltaub (National Treasure), it’s just a shark movie, and a kind of inert one at that.

Bingbing Li and Jason Statham in The Meg. Daniel Smith/Warner Bros.

The titular Meg is a megalodon, a theoretically extinct 90-foot shark that could bite a whale in half and had no natural predators. Well, you’ve guessed correctly: It’s not so extinct anymore! Turns out the Meg has been lurking in a previously undiscovered area of the deep seas and is inadvertently loosed by a deep sea exploration team based on a deep-sea exploration rig and bankrolled by a rich guy named Morris (Rainn Wilson).

A number of scientists and specialists are working on the rig, the most experienced and prominent of whom is Zhang (Winston Chao) and his daughter, Sunyi (Bingbing Li), a single mother who brought along her own precocious daughter Meiying (Shuya Sophia Cai). Three of them, Lori (Jessica McNamee), Toshi (Masi Oka), and a fellow everyone calls “The Wall” (Ólafur Darri Ólafsson) venture into the Meg’s lair and get trapped there, while up on the rig the others — including Mac (Cliff Curtis), Jaxx (Ruby Rose), DJ (Page Kennedy), and the team’s physician Heller (Robert Taylor) panic.

To rescue them, they decide to call in Jonas Taylor (Jason Statham), who’s been lying low in Thailand for seven years after a botched deep-sea rescue attempt that he maintains was thwarted by a giant shark. He’s resistant, but he eventually agrees to go rescue the crew (and as it turns out, Lori is also his ex-wife; the world of deep-sea exploration is apparently a small one).

From there, The Meg follows a predictable path. People get into trouble because of the big angry shark that’s now at large in the sea. People are rescued. People are put in danger again. Rinse and repeat.

Bingbing Li and Shuya Sophia Cai in The Meg. Daniel Smith/Warner Bros.

What’s most remarkable about The Meg is nothing in particular about the film itself, but how often it calls to mind things that are not The Meg, and not even about sharks at all. There’s the obvious Moby-Dick reference (you can’t have a dude hunting a deep-sea creature with fins without hauling in Ahab and his whale obsession) and a quick, glorious callback to one of the most famous fish movies of our time too. But parallels to other summer blockbusters are what animate The Meg.

For instance, the idea that huge monsters driven purely by rage and never before seen by modern eyes lurk in a world of their own, separated from us only by a thin, permeable layer, is the basic setup for the Pacific Rim movies, including this summer’s Pacific Rim Uprising. But while this can be a splendidly fantastical apocalyptic framework, with lots of room for fascinating world-building, in The Meg, that construct is set aside pretty rapidly. (I for one would like to see more of what else lurks down here, but maybe they’re saving it for the sequel.)

Wait: You say the monsters are prehistoric? Well, well — Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom has a thing or two to say about that. Both movies also have greedy megalomaniac guys with a curious, ill-advised penchant for the teeth of their conquered prey. But while I wasn’t much of a fan of Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom, its best sequences come when the film tilts into becoming an actual horror movie — as did, for instance, a film like Jaws. The Meg, however, never gets there. Despite the repeated dubbing of the shark as a “monster,” it feels most like an adventure movie, and lacks any notable thrills or chills.

Do we need a bigger boat? Warner Bros.

There’s a handful of comparisons to be made between Mission: Impossible — Fallout and The Meg too. The former’s a much better film, but they’re both big action movies with big set pieces, and they both star action stars who famously chafe at using stunt doubles. Both also feature incredibly pleasant ex-wives encouraging those stars to pursue a relationship with the film’s romantic lead, which feels very congenial and warm.

And the most revealing comparison comes from the fact that The Meg is another addition to Hollywood’s ongoing attempts to rake in cash from audiences around the world. Its cast, which draws on stars from at least three continents, makes that clear. Though most of its dialogue is in English, and its lead cast is predominately English-speaking, its locations are all Asian — not wholly unlike Skyscraper, as well as the Pacific Rim movies. Like those movies, it also employs a joke in which an American tries to speak an Asian language (Chinese or Japanese) but does so badly, which suggests we’ve finally found a joke that crosses all borders.

But more importantly, this summer’s films have been a testament to how hard Hollywood is trying to make its blockbusters appeal to everyone, everywhere. It sort of makes sense: Big-budget movies need big box office returns. And in some cases, the result is also a good movie. And, hey, giant monster movies originated in Asian cinema, so in a sense, this is just extending a long international film tradition.

And yet the danger in trying to appeal to everyone is that you’ll appeal to nobody, and The Meg too often succumbs to this. (It’s telling that the best joke in the movie is a reference to a beloved film aimed specifically at children.) There’s little adventure in this adventure tale. Its monster isn’t really all that scary. The jokes aren’t funny, and the dialogue that’s meant to be touching feels lifted out of most any other film. You keep waiting for something big to happen, but whenever something does, you can see it coming from a mile away, like some giant, slow-moving prehistoric threat.

There’s admittedly some charm to The Meg striving to remain so strenuously bland, but it ultimately feels like empty nostalgia for whatever it’s echoing. The Meg may be the perfect summer movie for right now, fun enough to sit through for a couple of hours. But it’s unlikely to have much of an impact — or even be remembered — past the end of the season.

Original Source -> Jason Statham and a colossal shark can’t save The Meg from a lifeless existence

via The Conservative Brief