i just? izuku is now quirkless again and injured, but still trying his best as usual.
i am reminded of each time katsuki pushed him down in their past where izuku was in the almost same state of being(minus the life threatening circumstances).
i cant find the panel but i am thinking of the one where kid!izuku was standing up for a kid being beat up by katsuki.
sure reminds me of this one in ch 419:
its just... when he's in this state(quirkless n injuried) katsuki is never far away so... im just delusional because that's what keeps us alive sometimes.
but i wish that for each and every time katsuki pushed him down in this state, he will be the one to extend his hand and step in again(because phew chps 403 & 404 were amazing) to do what he does best. show izuku what it means to be his hero.
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this resurfaces in my consciousness every so often and quietly bothers me like a pebble in my shoe, so let me tell you all about a small, formative memory.
I was playing smash bros melee with my two older brothers. the game came out right around my 9th birthday, so I was solidly 9 years old. I picked Luigi, and while waiting for the others to select their characters I idly scrolled through his outfit skins and landed on a pink shirt and cap with bright red overalls. "oh! he's pretty!" I said.
immediately both my brothers sprang at me with "woah! no he's not, he's a boy."
"well, then he's a pretty boy," I said, and they pushed back harder. "boys aren't pretty. don't ever call a boy pretty," they scolded. "the correct word is handsome." and I remember thinking something like, um, I'm looking at a boy right NOW and he IS pretty, so yeah they CAN be, stupid, but I was 9 and impatient and wanted to play viddy game, so I said "okay" and dropped it.
but he was pretty. Luigi was plenty handsome in green and the other palettes, but "handsome" wasn't the right word to me when his outfit made me think of strawberry milk and shortcake. why couldn't he be both? why was "pretty" a bad word only when applied to boys? why couldn't a boy be any descriptive word under the sun? why were we gendering adjectives?
I remember feeling weirdly ashamed in that moment, not because I'd done anything wrong but because the responses of those around me told me that I'd brushed up against some unseen social rule that was not to be touched. I knew, on some level, that the shame didn't come from me, but I couldn't make sense of why it was there at all.
it was such a small, fleeting moment, one that my brothers have probably long since forgotten about, but it's telling that I remember it, and specifically the feeling of wrongness about it that I couldn't articulate but felt in my bones.
at 9 years old I understood gender neutrality, a concept that seemed so simple and straightforward to me it baffled me that my brothers didn't get it. at 9 years old I learned, not that boys can't be pretty, but that grown-ups make up nonsensical rules about words, and about beauty, and about gender, and they get really sensitive about it if you challenge them. at 9 years old I understood boys could be pretty, and not long after I took it a logical step further and realized girls could be handsome, and my little world expanded.
as I grew up I observed men and boys in my life getting hung up over such small things. my brother lost his black umbrella and refused to borrow my pink one. my dad scorned high school boys he observed with painted nails, even though it was the in thing at the time with the influx of emo and scene culture. my partner in college bristled when I told him his eyelashes were the prettiest I'd ever seen. I observed that "man = pretty?" was used as a punchline in shows and movies and laughed about in real life. and I remembered Luigi and his strawberry outfit, and I thought, what a dull and restricted world you have all chosen to live in.
not everyone needs to like to be called pretty, and that's okay. it's important to respect how individuals want to be addressed. but time and again I've observed that the men who bristle most against it seem to live in a rigid world of insecurity and shame. and that stuff isn't inherent. it's learned and taught and reinforced.
Luigi would love to be called pretty. he would love to be called cute and adorable. if you are any shape of man or boy and want to be those things, Luigi supports you. it's all a bunch of silly grown-up rules anyway, so why not have fun and embrace joy?🍓
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i know not a lot of people know about the extended canon, but its very interesting how many people decide to ignore senna exists and the role she canonically plays in londo's story. its very interesting to see londopilled mollariheads who know everything about him and have all this meta decidedly ignore senna, even though she is one of his most important relationships post-canon. she canonically stays with londo until a few hours before his death which is about 15 years. he takes her in. she becomes his ward. she's important to him.
play with canon however you want i know i do. but its just strange how people can make all this meta about random centauri side characters from the books and stuff (me included!!!!!) and then ignore senna refa. is it because she's refa's daughter? is it because of her relationship with londo? is it because she canonically ends up with vir, and people dont like it? idk man i dont really care about peoples personal opinions like that i just think its kind of interesting how often senna gets ignored in post-canon/fanon convos about londo. senna is such an interesting character-even just her existing is interesting, what she represents TO londo (turning over a new leaf, taking responsibility for his actions, letting children, letting Women, specifically, choose) and yet people just do nothing with her. im not gonna demand people do more with her as she is an extended canon character and stuff but i just. yeah. idk just my hot take for the day
i also must say i have not read the books themselves but i know enough about them and peter david is Not the greatest at writing women and senna has some dicy moments in the novels (she gets hit by a man trying to marry her, to which londo steps in and beats that guys ass when he asks senna what she wants btw!!!) and i know some people may be uncomfy with the books portrayal of her but to ignore her completely? it just makes me sad! thats so much londo lore youre missing out on!
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I've finally gotten to the emerald graves in dai and hoo boy.... just the overwhelming beauty of the setting mixed with finding notes (and fucking statues, clearly in the same style as the dalish monuments) from invading missionaries
like I know this won't fully resonate with some people culturally, but that place fills me with such a bittersweet rage. this microcosm of religion trying to strangle out the dalish, but the forest is so large and breathing and ALIVE and it's laughable to try to snuff out something so ancient.
the hubris and the hunger of the chantry to conquer this primordial place, but their mark on it is just a sad whimper. I just...
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