#they just love to commit psychological warfare on this guy i-

[imjustavenuxwithaboomerang]

absolutely bonkers how the b-plot of the new girl, is basically just milton going 'if you lie, you're a monster and to teach you that, we will beat you senseless' and then later going 'if you tell the truth, you're a monster and to teach you that, we will make you think the world is going to shit and that i'm dead' to jerry

and i, the viewer, am just supposed to support that, maybe even applaud it...make it make sense

[thewingedwolf]

one goofy ass thing i like about my job is we all really like having staff feedback after programs (like after in service, after summer reading, etc) because it just makes it easier to make it actually helpful and easier next time around and that’s all we want right, like PERSONALLY i don’t want to be anxious about a program and dreading it all year, which means i get to do what i Love which is offer my opinion constructively so i can be like “i think some people just don’t understand paylocity, it is a little confusing & for them, going through that app is this scary time sink so they don’t open it ever.” and no one is taking it personally because five other people wrote in “beanstack scares me” and “i’m not using teams” and we can just adjust our expectations of our older coworkers instead of writing people up for it akskd.

[auspicioustidings]

Brain rotting in concepts rn cause i wanted to continue “Committed to the bit-“ and in the process i thought of such a fun concept that i just had to share-

Briefly in the “mandatory Dungeon’s and Dragons” oneshot (which btw- such a good fic one of my fav’s after going through like ur whole blog lol) You brought up TF 141 in paintball. And i’ve just had such a fun idea.

Consdier: Reader who is corralled into going to paintball with their shitty friends, who are only really going with the intent of ganaging up on reader. They go in an uneven number tho- (cause they were all gonna be on one team and have reader by themselves-) When the workers there are like- “Oh well- there is another group here.” Dunno why the 141 would be there, maybe another situation like the DnD one-shot where they’re being forced. And so, poor sweet reader who clearly was expecting this to be a liebe experience, gets to have the joy of 141 seeing them and deciding “yeah, you’re pretty and your friends are assholes- you need more ppl for a proper team? Cool, we’ll be on yours.”

Just image the pure shenanigans of it all, reader getting some well earned revenge and the whole debacle ends up them them losing their friends- but gaining (1)4(1) more <3

I kid you not I have had 'Airsoft AU - you keep beating military men at airsoft and they are going to lose it' sitting in my phone notes since September :') Just one of those concepts that I love to think about but cannot write.

I prefer having the reader be their bitter rival because wtf why is this civilian rocking out shit? This is so humiliating oh my God Kate WHY DID YOU TELL FARAH WE LOST TO A CIVVIE TEAM STOP IT WE ARE NEVER LIVING THIS DOWN :( Only way of redeeming themselves is obviously to ruin your winning streak in any way they can.

It would be really fun to then have your take on it follow that, when they already view you as their arch-nemesis they show up on a surprise visit thinking if they can take you off guard with a game they might have an advantage (that's just psychological warfare bby, totally legit, it is not CHEATING Farah shut up). And you are sad? And getting ganged up on by the people you have been carrying any time you are played against them? Like you are the one that is beating them really, the team has always just been benefitting from taking orders from you.

Absolutely not? Are they fuck going to let anyone beat you that isn't them. So even though you are so embarrassed at first when you see them because your most fun games have been against these guys and the banter is always so good and oh my God they're about to find out that you are tragically uncool, they immediately are joking around with you and offering to take you on their team.

"Aye, come tae our team and we'll show ye how the professionals dae it." "Wild thing to say when you've never beaten me but sure thing Suds." "My real name is John. Johnny if it's you. It's nice tae actually meet ye bonnie."

[hostilemuppet]

So, backstory. I (39M) married my husband (29M) a few years ago (I was 36, he was 26). We got together after a passionate night of lovemaking in a motel room after meeting in a gay bar. I realised the next day that the handsome stranger was actually the guy who had made multiple attempts on one of my brothers (28M, then 24) life (dont ask why hes not in prison, money can accomplish anything) and figured out pretty quickly that he was using me to make my brother miserable. Now since he was playing with my heart, I thought that at least I should have my own fun, yknow? So I started messing with him a little, encouraging PDA that he wasn't really that interested in (were both pretty high profile so public image was important to him, and also im not sure if he even liked boys?), "influencing" him to buy me things I didnt need. I'm not a monster, I was just fucking with him a little for funsies.

Anyway eventually I asked if he actually loved me etc etc so he bought us cruise tickets and the proposal was beautiful and the ceremony even more so. He moved in and I let him bring very few of his belongings (hes a hippie). Soon we had twins (0F, 0M) (he stayed home while I worked (my job is not important)) and life was great. Soon the cat got let out the bag and he found out that I knew that he was trying to use me for my brother (who was also in on the situation). He said something about divorce so I threatened to tell everyone every little detail, even that /thing/ he likes. What followed was 8 more months of constant psychological warfare and the best sex I've ever had, until the unthinkable happened.

We actually started to fall for each other. Now I'm not proud, what with the twins and all, but I instantly filed for divorce (i am also a child of divorce, okay, I've got commitment issues and it made it too real, weve all got flaws). He got full custody and I got to return to my bachelor lifestyle. And it. was. MISERABLE. I missed him so much. I missed pissing him off. I missed when he'd get mad and put dairy milk in my coffee to make me sick. I missed the way every time we woke up hed say "morning, my bitch husband who I hate" and id call him sweetie and kiss him on the cheek as he stewed in rage. I even missed the kids!

A couple years (and several rehab admissions, mostly mine) later we ran into each other at some charity event that I don't even remember what was for. I asked him how the twins were doing. He said they were good. He said I was looking well. I returned the compliment. We both had some wine. Next thing I knew, it was morning and we were married again. Now, I know what you're thinking, but he said he missed me too, and yeah he's the only partner I've ever had that's lasted longer than 2 months so maybe I don't have the best history but I really think we can make it work this time!

Tl;dr: AITA for turning my little brothers mortal enemy gay?

Edit: stop asking who I am, none of you know who I am, I am anonymous, that is the point duh

Edit 2: i am not Floyd [lastname]-[lastname2]

Edit 3: I mean it, I am not Floyd. I dont care if the ages and timelines match up

Edit 4: just bc my husband is a hippie doesn't mean he's the only hippie you guys know of

Edit 5: a lot of celebrities have fraternal twins

Edit 6: fuck you guys

[neurotonic]

Do you have any sort of hypothetical 'bad end' for any of your OCs? A future for them that leads to tragedy, despite their attempts? Not that it needs to be 'bad' morally mind you. Mamba is a villain, so their bad end would probably spell good for the Agency, and et cetera

It's definitely not something I think about a lot, nope! But this did make me think about the possible bad endings these characters could get.

Discussion of death and a brief mention of depression under the cut

Death is an easy answer, but I couldn't think of anything else worse than death for Mina and Starling. Mina's death would especially domino into a bigger political problem due to her already high-profile status and family connections, which is something she'd been trying to avoid all this time. If there's one thing she hates, it's getting other people involved in problems she made. To involve the bigger world into this, with her last act (dying) is definitely. the worst !

Starling dying early would prevent him from achieving his dreams of being a hero. To die in vain is an even bigger salt to the wound, because his death wouldn't even be considered helpful. This one is Still in the works, and I'm trying to decide whether Starling does die early on in the story.

Marshall's would be somewhat connected to these two. She's been working her ass off to prevent any more unnecessary deaths in the field after seeing the horrors of being viewed like a tool instead of a person. If she failed to save anyone in this story, she'd be devastated beyond belief. I think she'd just quit and fall into a deep depression. She could still stand up, but it will take a lot of time for her to really make peace with the fact that she failed.

Dr. Schaden is a bit more interesting...His bad end would be becoming a supervillain exactly like Dr. Zor. It feels a little odd, since Schaden wanted to be a world-renowned supervillain, so why not follow the footsteps of a master? My main thing with him is that he's a villain-to-be with morals. He has standards. He loves the villain industry but it could be a little better if the boss knew how to appreciate their henchmen. Dr. Zor is someone he...doesn't end up looking up to, and in fact he's using their techniques as guidelines of not what to do. I like the idea that he's genuinely a pretty nice guy, but he has all the ability to manipulate and lie and commit psychological warfare to anyone if he wanted to. He's knowledgeable in that field, but he chooses not to. If he lost what he valued the most...that's no longer Schaden.

Mamba's a bit simpler. I think not getting any closure with Phoenix would be the worst case scenario for her. It's already tearing her up from the inside out. Ironically, if she does kill Phoenix without talking about...Everything, she has effectively doomed herself into an unsatisfying existence. she'll never get the answers she actually wanted to hear from them. To continue living instead of dying feels a little more tragic, because then she doesn't even get the relief of not thinking about it anymore when she dies.

[betweenlands]

Ok ill bite whats dominion smp?

BOY AM I GLAD YOU ASKED

dominion smp, which some members call DSMP for what's probably seo reasons but i find intensely hilarious because it's technically not wrong to abbreviate it like that, is a small lightly modded server based around the origins mod! basically, each member has a different origin, and in much the same way empires members are loosely the ruler of their respective countries, you can sort of consider each dominion member to be kind of a paragon of their respective origin.

thing is, while dominion is defined in part by its relation to the origins mod, there is also a lot of plot stuff that happens that is only tangentially related to the fact that everyone is creatures -- you've got people beefing over stolen goods, everyone sort of vying for power in a vacuum while trying to not seem obvious about it, taxes of "give me all of your diamonds every two weeks i am no longer asking nicely", and also. whatever the hell is going on with shadowmech.

oh yeah also literally like 75% of these ccs have 2000+ day hardcore worlds so the builds are insane.

here's a masterpost on everyone's povs! it doesn't have their Vibes down rn but i can do that really briefly (EDIT LOL NO IT'S NOT BRIEF THIS IS GOING UNDER A CUT):

starting members:

jamiejoan/jammers, dragonborn: elected queen of the server during s1. has a corruption arc, as one does. not many s1 episodes, but (without spoiling anything) her pov for s2 is unique and worth checking out

grady, enderian: doesn't have many episodes and is mainly a streamer. his character is half wet cat and half "guy that makes that's what she said jokes", but somehow in a different direction from scar?

legundo, piglin: champion of the piglins, sent to the overworld by his people for. well for takeover purposes probably. this mostly involves doing capitalism and having trusting-distrustful dynamics with the besties. actually the main server admin but this never comes up incharacter.

fixxitt, inchling: starts off as a thief, escalates WILDLY until by episode 5 welsknight is telling him "you fucked up, buddy" and then he builds a gigantic house. has 2 musical numbers in the middle of episodes that will absolutely knock you out if you're not prepared. also has very good cinematics.

nukeri, elytrian: democracy lover and guy who really, really just wants everyone to get along. canonically descended from icarus; all my friends have emotions about him and i haven't watched him yet but he's a major blorbo-in-law. i'd make a joke about how he's the resident gay scot of the server since they couldn't get smajor, but he literally does have a voice cameo from scott in his s1 finale.

rnjoy, witch: loves doing mad science, committing tax fraud, and has a mushroom son in s2 now. not a lot of s1 episodes but she loves her ravager gertrude i know that much. currently being hunted by --

shadowmech, witherborn: hitman of the server who is only withered rn because he ate a really bad porkchop. no episodes currently, he's in the process of doing a supercut of all his s1 stuff. is also in the process of uh. being very possessed and possibly being the s2 arc baddie rn. it's. fiiiiine. he's just not speaking to anyone and also attacking them during blood moons! totally chill

sneve, blazeborn: like if keralis was oli orionsound but with less musical numbers. sneve is an experience that cannot be described. just. watch his episodes there's only like 3 of them it'll tell you everything and nothing you need to know

taneesha, goat: lover of domes and also psychological warfare. started an advancement race probably as an excuse to steal people's shit. not a lot of s1 episodes but has some plot stuff anyway since she kind of got invited to join jamie's. void cult. yeaaaahhhh.

started midway thru s1:

vikingpilot, phantom: SOMETHING IS SO VERY WRONG WITH HIM. sweet ghostboy who is also incredibly unhinged. canonically dead and was also intangible and invisible for the beginning half of s1 up until the dragon fight. does dark magic, or is at least planning to do dark magic. pluralcoded and you can fight me on this. honestly my top pick for "if you only get one pov"

started at the beginning of s2:

progamebot/josh, sporeling: one video so far! joy's mushroom son. helping her make potions out of a van in the desert atm, which is. actually a breaking bad reference, not a reference to that other dsmp. canonically like a week old at the most. doing pretty well considering this.

kiply, fairy: no episodes yet, but uh. i've been watching her other stuff on and off and something is seriously wrong with her in the best way possible. plays on i think at least 2 different lifesteal-type smps? she is unhinged. she is not a reliable narrator. i love her.

dalilred (wolf) and itsryan (iron golem) also REALLY recently joined so i haven't gotten a pin on their vibes yet. red seems like she has a little bit of a cottagecore aesthetic and ryan seems to be kind of closer to sneve on the shitposter end of the mcyter spectrum, but that's all i've got

[obstinaterixatrix]

I think charming the duke of the north and your eternal lies fit very well in the villainess classification. while cdn’s fl is an actress and Not Actually A Villainess she’s actively putting on a front and isn’t in like… a victimhood framing. white lotus framing. she’s just some guy. and I like how… ok a lot of wannabe villainess series kind of go for this empty shallow Epic Girlboss Clapback kinda vibe where everything an fl does is justified and clever and elegant. whereas the fl in cdn can really sell manipulating the situation and being ruthless. I think what I like is the performance of it. The theatricality of it. The Commitment. all for an audience of one. look at this ok I’m gonna walk you through it

rinha gets served essentially rotten food when alone and goes full Malicious Compliance with it

the maid gets For Real Edible food made & Rinha takes the opportunity to pull this

It is COMPLETELY unnecessary. in the wannabe villainess series you get the sense that the fl is pushed to the brink, or that she Has No Choice, but rinha could’ve very easily resolved this without going the psychological warfare route. I love this. I didn’t have a specific example for yel but fl there also has just some guy energy and while she definitely would not be doing All Of This if she didn’t have to, she’s just so good at going to extremes. woman who tricks a guy into feeding here something she’s deathly allergic to and internally goes “HEH… [spitting blood] ALL ACCORDING TO PLAN.” And It Was

[stackthedeck]

If I'm remembering the right romcom spideytorch might be a good fit for your remix

God like it absolutely is! Hold on every go watch how to loose a guy in ten days or this going to make no sense. It’s so fun absolutely worth the watch btw

Peter as Andy, journalist that hates his job and is trying to be taken seriously but is relegated to writing fluff pieces. Johnny as Ben, the man’s man that can’t make a relationship last past the one night stand. For the sake of keeping the original plot and for daily bugle vibes Peter’s best friend characters are Betty and Eddie. Betty is crying about Ned leaving her cue the plot of the movie. Peter is accused of having everyone falling deeply in love with him instantly despite the glaring red flags and he’s gotta write the piece “how to loose a guy in ten days.” Because I still want super heroes involved here, Johnny is still on the fantastic four but he’s trying to get his acting career off the ground, he’s trying to get a part in a romcom but he’s the playboy of heroes what does he know of romance. The director and screenwriter take him out to a bar and challenge him to get with the cute nerd with glasses, real boy next door type, but get him to stay until the red carpet movie premiere so that they can prove Johnny is leading man material. Cue the plot of the movie!

I love that line in the movie where Ben is standing on the fire escape and says to himself “oh you’re falling in love with me already” and Andy looks up at him and says something like “I’m going to make you wish you were dead.” I cannot express enough that this movie is the opposite of taming of the shrew. Like that’s the vibe I want for the beginning of the fic! Johnny trying desperately to pull out all the stops for this cute but unassuming nerd that he’s fully aware he’s using and Peter actively committing psychological warfare. Andy in the movie does a lot of like clingy crazy girlfriend things but I don’t think that translates for dudes or for Peter so I think it’d be a lot of emotional unavailability, swinging out on dates (it’s only strictly necessary half the time), being weirdly mean and petty, etc. There’s this scene in the movie where Andy ruins Ben’s boys night but let’s be real Johnny doesn’t have enough friends for that what I think would be even funnier is if was like Peter trying to be himself and Spider-Man to ruin their weekly movie nights and like switching wildly between costumes. The dynamic flips after the couples therapy incident (if you’ve seen the movie you know what I’m talking about the way Ben flies down the fire escape just to beg her on his knees!) Peter gets to meet the rest of the fantastic family, they take a vacation to Glennville, and that’s the moment they fall in love for real. Johnny official invites Peter to the premier and it’s adorable and perfect and they’re having such a good time at the premier until Spider-Man bullshit. Peter tries to make an excuse, telling Johnny that the human torch should go take care of that. Johnny jury kisses him sweet and slow, telling him that Spider-Man can take care of it, he doesn’t want superhero stuff ruining their perfect night. Peter obviously has to leave for Spider-Man stuff and when Johnny notices Peter is gone he goes to help, maybe burning the supervillain a little more than necessary. Peter gets back to the premier as fast as possible but Johnny gets there first and blows up at him. The whole thing comes crumbling down around them, the challenge and the article, and they have the dramatic break up. Johnny reads Peter’s article later and realizes he still loves him, but it’s not enough because Peter is flaky and he can’t trust him but damn it Johnny still kinda loves the dork too. He calls Spider-Man to the Statue of Liberty to ask advice but it’s Peter there waiting for him. Big romcom confession moment! Peter tells Johnny he’s Spider-Man and that’s why he’s so flaky and he wants to fold all parts of his life into Johnny’s life. They kiss and all is forgiven roll credits

[kosi-annec]

[HAIKYUU!!] Season 3 episode 9

Why's yachi just waiting outside? C'mon yall let her in too

Ooh flashback to the training camp arc back *checks google* season 2!? Goddamn, I don't think i remember much from then lmao

"he looks so calm" uhh kiyoko those eyes don't speak 'calm' to me, kinda looks like he's contemplating revenge hskshsk

Back to present, WHERE CAVALRY HAS ARRIVED!!

LMAO god this bg karasuno fan trio is great, those guys probs become like sports friends after this

Everyone's so shocked that tsuki basically demanding to be put back in lol, this is probably the closest to begging we'll ever see him

Aww HSKHSKS that lil interaction between hinata n tsuki

Oh another bald guy? Why is that hairstyle so common in the haikyuu universe??

HHHH COME ONE CROWS KEEP IT UP! YES NICE ONE KAGE, Bought enough time for our shield to get back in!

Honestly kazuhito did really well for someone who's not played with this much high stakes before, he was able to keep his cool for almost the entire time

Karasuno's bout to make a comeback this round now that tsuki's here!

DON'T FUCK THIS UP ASAHI, YA GOTTA GET A POINT W THIS SERVE! Agh, that's fine just don't let it drop- oh SHIT TSUKI ARE U GOOD???

"... that he was just a lengthy apathetic nerd" i mean, that assessment is still kinda correct oikawa LMAO

YASS TSUKI YOU'RE DOING SO GOOD!! Omg he called noya "nishi" HE USED A NICKNAME! OMG HE TRICKED TENDO!! HIT IT TANAKA- LETZ GO MATCH POINT!!!

Mmm yeah, that's wat makes karasuno a dangerous team. They're not like the big leagues who stick to a kind of play style. Due to the new-ness of Karasuno, they're willing to adapt and try any new tricks if it means they become a stronger team. "The reckless crows" ngl that sounds kinda cool for a title

"..can you please stop calling me that?!" "Sure, how's you're a piece of shit then?" "FINE, PIECE OF CRAP" omg it's this scene HSKHKS

Oh shit yeah, those 3 have been the main guys that do the synchronized attack, god that must hurt their legs..

"..you meant that like while you were still useful right?" SHEESH SHIRABU, but yeah he has a point, he can't always be tossing to ushi

FINAL STRETCH, COME ONE KARASUNO GET THIS POINT

AAAaa fuck, it was out. Shit, ushi's up- OMG IT WAS ALSO OUT

From wat i understood from tadashi's mentor (idk his name), being able to commit to big risky plays like is more for psychological warfare if anything

hhhh everytime tsuki uses his hand i cringe for him. COME ON HINATA ONE TOUCH THIS! FUCK- they jumped too soon

They're tied again... ONE OF YOU JUST WIN ALREADY, PREFERABLY KARASUNO

OK crows got another point, now don't fuck this up kage. SHEESH that serving animation tho, with that camera turn? Smooth af

CHANCE BALL GET IT GUYS, SCORE THAT POINT!! FUCK- HINATA NO NOT AGAIN, that looked too similar to when karasuno lost to seijo before, when hinata got blocked

uh oh, yeah they got a point but I don't think tanaka can hold on any longer

Huh?? OH fuck even HINATA is getting exhausted, he couldn't even jump. This is bad...

aaAAA NO NO NO- omg GOOD SAVE NOYA! holy sHIT HE DID IT AGAIN!? GET DOUBLE RECEIVED BITCH, THAT'S OUR GUARDIAN!!

19-20 come on crows, just one more point

hhh you sure coach?? I'd rather not put any more strain on tsuki's hand... aH PFT- KAGE JUST YEETED HINATA LMAO

Ok ok, serious time. AAAA COME ON STOP EM TSUKI! Ah, flashback. I do love seeing tsuki interacting with the big guys in nekoma and fukurodani

ONE TOUCH GUYS COME ON, END IT!! One last synch atk, GET IT HINATA

wha- A FUCKING CLIFFHANGER!?! oh hell nah

[submarinerwrites]

i think the people who idolize harvey suits are the funniest people ever. they think hes living the dream. ive watched a grand total of two episodes of that show and i can tell that mans life is terrible. he has no friends that dont work for him. his love life is miserable because he spends all his time working. he has to wear uncomfortable outfits constantly (also due to working). hes engaged in psychological warfare with a coworker who just wants to be his friend. and hes committing criminal fraud in order to hang out with the only guy in manhattan who hates him.

[certified-anakinfucker]

🍕, 🍔, 🍻, 🍩, 🍋, 🍉 and 🍒 for any of your ocs, please?

I apologize for so many questions but I'm really curious!

HELLO LEIA HI HI HELLO HI ILY gonna use you as an excuse to go darrashposting on main

will be under the cut bc i know it's gonna get soooooo long

(i keep forgetting but, this is the ask!)

(and also i am so sorry this took so long, i started on this the day you sent it and then it got pushed in my drafts SJFHDSJHFSJD THANK YOU FOR ASKING THESE)

🍕: How does an OC spend a lazy day?

Darrash likes to sleep. It's something he never gets enough of, or when he does sleep it's very fitful and interrupted by night terrors.

The war doesn't present many lazy days to him regardless. Sleeping, sightseeing-for-a-purely-recreational-reason, sitting around and chatting with his team members or locals (for purely recreational reasons), trying out the food in the region if he's never been there, or just.. doing nothing.

🍔: Are there any recent trends you think your OC would hate? Or love?

Dear God he would be a t*kt*oker. But for very good reason. Exploiting algorithms and pushing to see what he can surface before people start questioning shit.

For a modern AU, he would post some pseudo-psychological shit, mostly as a means of spreading tips on mutual manipulation (yourself and others and possibly events at large), or he'll be the top account in thrifting or life-hacking. Anything to stretch one resource to the absolute maximum for as long as possible, he's your guy. He had to grow up crafty and resourceful so why not pass it along?

I also think he'd end up as some kind of doomsday meme, showing up at inaurguations and staring/glaring menacingly at the newly-elected leader from some back corner. Like "Where's Waldo?" type shit.

(more under the cut!)

🍻: What's your OC's favourite comfort ritual? How do they calm themselves down after a rough day?

Ough, that's a hard question - mostly because he has quite a few.

The first that comes to mind is very simple: physical touch. Though he never had much of it, one of the few good things that came out of his tenure in the Imperial Academy is that he was seldom ever punched or otherwise hit; there wasn't much of anything to sour his perception of physical touch, so he still rather enjoys it. (Not counting the year or so on Nar Shaddaa he worked as an escort / dancer, but even then he was rarely touched.)

This one hasn't changed since he was a kid on Nal Hutta, surrounded by his friends: he very very very much loves to sing. He mostly sings to himself as a self-soothing habit, but if he's in good company then he doesn't mind openly sharing his voice.

9-13 ATC became a constant slew of rough days in the theater of warfare so he's picked up recreational target practice, ignoring one (1) of his colleagues while chatting with everyone else, and most important of all he learned how to piss off his handlers for fun. Mostly just Keeper (who becomes the Minister of Intelligence later. Watcher Two/Keeper isn't as fun to annoy because she's oblivious.)

🍩: What's a crime your OC is most likely to commit? What's a crime they're most likely to get arrested for?

Well. Darrash is an extension of a fascist police surveillance state, top of the game in espionage + seduction + assassination + general disguise + infiltration, plainly acting as a force to be reckoned with and virtually untouchable. The (other) Grim Reaper himself. If you see a Cipher coming..... yeah you're already dead.

He's got so much blood on his hands and is responsible for bringing down damn near every planet he's been set up against, all without leaving so much a trace besides either the trail of destruction or deliberate footnotes. And a looooot of war crimes, definitely. Dude did what he had to do at all costs necessary.

Anyway - so Darrash also got his start as a kid skilled in the petty theft of supply crates and food out of markets, and general other thievery activities to grab supplies or otherwise quick credits. He knows very little about how to say "please" for anything he needs; he'd much rather just fuckin' take it.

He'd be arrested for theft, war crimes, insubordination, assassination, subverting entire terrorist cells, umm. You name it.

🍋: What is your OC's most painful memory?

Losing his adoptive family. Gurr'os'olo, Ixan'ia, Aker'al, and three Evocii as well - it was the loss one by one that just. Broke him. These were the closest things he held to siblings. His older half brother Johkel had been kidnapped by Imperial Intelligence when he was very young and he didn't really know his younger sister Marrav, so that left the ragtag bunch he fell in with.

Gurr'os'olo had been kidnapped by pirates on Hutta, and that's the last that Darrash heard of him. Aker'al and his family were cornered by Sith - they killed his parents, burned his home, and disappeared with Aker'al. He never knew what happened to Ixan'ia.

Then he spent so long trying to pretend he was over them, just to end up finding Roso in the Republic militia on Taris, and finding Ixan'ia as an established smuggler, and Aker'al nearly killing him before forcefully taking him as an Apprentice for a couple of years. None of that felt great.

🍉: Does your OC have a particular piece of jewellery that they always wear or refuse to part with?

He did, for about a year. It was an Alderaanian headband that was given to him by the Revanite chapter on Dromund Kaas once he'd completed their trials and protected them from the Dark Council. His time spent in the cell was undoubtedly traumatizing beyond his will to compare, especially the fact that he was "reminded" of his own sensitivity to the Force that was pretty much drilled out of him by Intelligence. It's not that they took it away from him, but they trained him well enough to never rely on it that he did truly forget.

Ironically, he did choose to part with it on one condition: it was given to his would-be husband, Vector Hyllus, sometime before they were assigned to Taris together. When he presented Vector with a proper Intelligence-grade uniform with rank to match, he placed the headpiece on his head under the excuse of "it's Alderaanian, I thought you might like it" rather than the truth. Vector figured it out from Kaliyo, who was still angry that she had to sit through it with him.

🍒: Has Your OC had their first kiss yet? If so, with who?

This one I was on the fence about, but I will say yes.

He was kissed a few times when he served as an escort on Nar Shaddaa in a niche little club scene. He doesn't count those.

His official first kiss was with Vector on Voss, shortly before he was to marry Yana-Ton. It was unexpected on Darrash's part, but extremely welcomed. He almost fucked up the marriage vows because he was still reeling. Yana-Ton thought it was cute.

[nekropsii]

Sov characters you wouldn't mind being your roommate vs sov characters you could not be paid to share a room with

Oh, this is a fun question!! I’ll divide these up by their respective casts, just to make things a little easier, both for me, and you, the reader! I’ll even include reasons why!

Content Warning: Long.

(NOTE: I’m not going to include everyone, because there’s some people I’m a little on the fence about, or have more neutral opinions on.)

PLAYERS

WOULDN’T MIND BEING MY ROOMMATE:

CYNTIN: He would make me gayer somehow.

TEJURI: Though she’d probably be expensive as hell to live with due to her Voidrot, and the menagerie of ways in which it manifests, she’s genuinely peak Nerdy Southern Best Friend. I can’t help but think I’d get along just so well with her. She’s not even Friend-Shaped. She’s Best Friend-Shaped.

RETRIS: Despite his everything, he’s pretty chill! We’d probably get along! Also he makes, like, so much fucking money, so it’d definitely be a comfortable arrangement. He’s a very, very good friend, too, and very caring.

AJAX: Cool dude, seems genuinely fun to be around. Movie nights will be a blast. I will have to force him to pay for the holes he punches in the walls at random, though.

PLEOME: He can be a little overbearing, even if he means well, but is otherwise just some regular guy. I’d go positively bonkers watching him do tech restoration.

COULDN’T PAY ME TO SHARE A SPACE WITH THEM:

DYNAMA: I couldn’t do it. I’m sorry. I love them so much, but… They’d proselytize at me and I’d just start swinging. They mean well, but they’re severely Christian, and very much so grew up in a tiny town. I could be friends with them, but I could never commit to living with them.

PRESAE: She would call my oven a “weird mechanical kangaroo” and then disassemble it for parts.

EMERIC: She has turned the kitchen into a meth lab. I’m becoming asthmatic from the fumes just thinking about it.

ANNOMI: I would not be able to stand a single iota of his personality. I love writing him, I personally find him fascinating because of the fucked up focus on the psychological, but I would not be able to deal with him in a physical space OR online. If he got some kind of obsession with me, I’d just kill him or something. I don’t know, dude.

PATRONS:

WOULDN’T MIND BEING MY ROOMMATE:

DAMARA: Surprised at this entry? Perhaps you’re forgetting Damara is actually very nice! The only reason she’s as mean and disconcerting as she is is because during most of what we see of her in canon, she’s talking to the Alpha Trolls, of whom most of which she has a massive grudge against. I’d be functionally immune to her penchant for Psychological Warfare. Also, she’s cool, and I’m supporting her journey into therapy.

RUFIOH: He would watch TikToks out loud and maybe have a few annoying opinions but otherwise would be a pretty ok roommate. Hard to keep settled down though, which isn’t an issue for me. He would barely ever be home.

PORRIM: Genuinely a very accepting person, but knows when and how to put her foot down, and get shit in order. Very good person. She’s incredibly offline to the point where it’s both hilarious and soul-healing. Ultimate grass-toucher. We love her. She knows Queer History + Theory that you couldn’t even imagine. She’d teach me Knitting. But most importantly, she’d have a Driver’s License.

ARANEA: We would be so fucking annoying if we shared a living space. We’d just fuel each other’s Stage 4 Autism. The essays would be severe in length, niche as hell, and possibly unhinged. She’s very well read, too, and knows what she’s talking about, so I trust her thoughts and opinions on things. It’d be exactly what she needs, and exactly what I need.

MEENAH: She is such a recluse that I would probably barely notice her being there. Pays her rent by leaving an envelope on the counter with a wine glass on top so I can’t miss it. It’s got “RENT, BITCH.” written on it in cursive with a hot pink glitter gel pen. Sometimes she barges into my room and starts bitching loudly about some random bullshit I’ve never heard of. She is so fun and charismatic that I would not mind. And also I love being nosy and hearing drama so I’m entertained regardless. 10/10.

COULDN’T PAY ME TO SHARE A SPACE WITH THEM:

KANKRI: No. (I love him, and he’s a very complex person who I’d love to discuss religion with, but I can’t tolerate his level and flavor of being terminally online. I’ve encountered people like him before. It is… Not pleasant. Granted, you can work him out of his behaviors, but it takes a very specific kind of person to have the patience and tolerance to do so, and I’m not one of them.)

CRONUS: Fuck no. (I would become even more mentally ill. His toxic behaviors are very much so fueled by specific things that are somewhat understandable and interesting, but that doesn’t mean anyone is obligated to tolerate him. I’m even more susceptible to his specific methods of abuse just because of things like Paranoia and Memory Loss, I don’t need to deal with that.)

KURLOZ:

KURLOZ: Kurloz.

NPCS:

WOULDN’T MIND BEING MY ROOMMATE:

OCHOSI: Very much so a case of an Extrovert adopting an Introvert. He might take me zip-lining or something like that, which isn’t at all my taste, but it’s fun and healthy to fill your life with new experiences, even if they’re not totally your thing. It’s enrichment. Also, I am a weak man sometimes, and Ochosi is kind of attractive. Sorry.

ATRISA: She is an extrovert and knows where all the gay bars are and this would make me normal.

COULDN’T PAY ME TO SHARE A SPACE WITH THEM:

MESERI: I would die.

KHANDA: I would die and he would think it’s funny that I died.

ARSINE: I would die.

DULVYX: He would die.

[naminethewriter]

Overdue Confession

Day 3 and before midnight! Hell yeah 🥳 This story involves so many things I actually don’t know a lot about: drinking (I don’t like the taste of alcohol), American schools and Guys and Dolls. Sorry for any inaccuracies 😅 Have fun! 💙💚 @intrulogicalweek2021

Here on Ao3 

Masterpost | Intrulogical Week 2021 Masterpost

Characters: Remus, Logan, Janus, Roman, Virgil, Patton

Relationship: pre-romantic Intrulogical

Rating: G

Words: 1,025

Summary: Some secrets are revealed while playing Never Have I Ever.

“Never have I ever… won a science competition,” Janus said with a smirk. Logan rolled his eyes but took a drink from his beer. As did Remus.

 “When did you win a science competition?” Roman scoffed.

 “Middle school. You were busy with your production of Guys and Dolls, as were mom and dad and I didn’t feel like bringing it up,” Remus shrugged.

 “Oh.” Roman shrunk in on himself and a heavy silence hung over the group until Janus reminded Virgil that it was his turn.

“Fine. Never have I ever been a hall monitor.” Patton, Roman and Logan drank while Remus high-fived Virgil who was grinning after getting half the group. “Your turn, Pat.”

 “I should have thought of something before, shouldn’t I?” He giggled, probably the most drunk so far. Not because he had to drink a lot but because he had the worst tolerance out of all of them. Logan pushed Patton’s glass of water in his hand while taking a sip of his own.

 “Oh! I got it! Never have I ever been the lead of a play.” This time the twins and Janus drank. Now it was Roman’s turn. He took a look around the group while thinking. His eyes lingered on Virgil who was smiling mischievously.

 “Since our local Emo Overlord hasn’t been hit in a while, let’s go with… never have I ever committed a crime.” Virgil stuck out his tongue but obediently lifted his beer. Predictably, so did Janus and Remus. However, no one was expecting Logan to drink as well.

 “Nerdy Wolverine!?” Remus practically shouted. “What crime would a goody two-shoes like you commit?” Logan raised an eyebrow.

 “The law is not infallible.”

 “Here’s to that!” Janus laughed and raised his glass. He was the only one drinking wine instead of beer. Roman tried to stop him but to no avail.

 “We’re not talking about some minor traffic violation, right?” Virgil jumped in, curiously eyeing Logan who shook his head.

 “No, I have never gotten a ticket before.”

 “Fucking priss,” Remus scoffed. Logan glared at him.

 “Can we continue the game now?”

 “You wish! Spill the beans, pocket protector! What did you do?” Roman asked, very eagerly. Logan was about to protest but he could see that everyone else was just as curious.

 “Very well, if you insist, I shall explain.” All of them leaned a little closer and Logan sighed. “I’m sure you all remember Mr. Crockford, our math teacher from high school, correct?” Everyone nodded.

 “The one who went insane, right?” Remus asked with glee. Janus elbowed him in the side.

 “Insane is probably a bit exaggerated, but I know what you are referring to and yes, I’m talking about him. And I might’ve” – Logan adjusted his tie (that he was wearing despite this being a casual get-together) – “caused that incident.”

 “You WHAT?!?”

 “Explain!”

 “I said I will, please calm down.” The twins that had jumped up in excitement settled back down and Logan cleared his throat before continuing. “In our junior year I had him as my AP math teacher and in one exam he deducted me points for not using the right brackets which was just due to my handwriting and not because I actually made a mistake. He refused to listen to my attempts to explain. So I decided to correct the mistake myself.

 “I don’t know if you can recall, but my uncle is a locksmith and his son Dexter went to out school as well. It wasn’t hard to convince him to help me make a copy of Mr. Crockford’s office door key. So one night, I snuck in and used his computer to correct my grade.”

 “Sneaky, I love it,” Remus grinned. Logan continued, unperturbed.

 “I must’ve been a bit careless because the next day I overheard Mr. Crockford loudly proclaim that somebody had to have broken into his office because his stapler was not where it was the day before. I knocked it over and thought I placed it where back where it belonged. But there were no signs of a break-in, so he was dismissed. He was absolutely furious and that gave me an idea.

 “For the next couple of months every few days, I would sneak in, rearrange somethings and leave. Mr. Crockford tried in vain to convince the other faculty about somebody messing with him but they chalked it up to him getting old and having memory trouble.”

 “I remember him freaking out on time in class because a pencil wasn’t where he left it!” Patton exclaimed. “He turned completely red in the face, demanding from us to tell him who took it. Turns out it just rolled of the table. His reaction makes a lot more sense now.”

 “Didn’t he get fired for punching a student?” Virgil asked. Roman nodded, but Logan shook his head.

 “I don’t know the exact details but he snapped in class one day and apparently threw a chair so hard it broke. He was fired shortly after.”

 “So you used psychological warfare against a teacher just because he gave you a bad grade once?” Remus questioned, starry-eyed.

 “Don’t be preposterous. That incident was merely the catalyst. You know as well as I do that Mr. Crockford was known for his cruelty and unfairness towards students. I’m well aware that he made both Patton and Virgil cry on several occasion as well as make Remus doubt his intellect. I regret nothing.”

 Everyone stared at Logan in awe. They liked to joke that he was a cold-hearted robot and even if they knew that wasn’t true, it was rare to see him act to compassionate and take risks for the sake of others. Janus looked kinda proud while Remus was full on blushing.

 “Holy shit, I think I just fell for you all over again.”

 Now it was Logan’s turn to blush, staring at Remus with wide eyes who didn’t even seem to process what exactly he just said. Roman threw his hands in the air.

 “You’ve got to be kidding me! I’ve been trying for month to get him to say something and that’s how he ends up confessing?!”

[mewtonian-physics]

Hey! Can you give your opinion on Sam and Raiden’s friendship and lack thereof

whoever you are i love you for this. yes i can. a lot of this is copied directly from an earlier post i made but <3

their first meeting is sam helping murder a man raiden truly respects and considers a friend. and then maiming him. including destroying one of the only organic parts he has left. all the while mocking him and then almost killing him, too.

and their second meeting doesn’t go any better. sam immediately and cheerfully starts messing with raiden’s mind, employing brutal psychological warfare to the point that raiden almost lets himself get killed because he’s too damn nice for his own good and can barely bring himself to fight back against the people trying to kill him.

this is, of course, all while sam is working for desperado, a company that is kidnapping children off the streets and turning them into brainwashed cyborg soldiers, aka some of the most horrifying things raiden’s been put through in his life at the same time. and then he has the nerve to try and take the moral high ground.

and then there’s the third meeting! in which they once again try to kill each other. the fact that sam is calling raiden a pretty boy and saying to 'show [him] a good time’ during this fight does not mean anything. he’s not flirting with him, he’s mocking him. his tendency to do that is literally one of his most blatant character traits. it’s creepy. and even if he was flirting, that’s not nearly enough to build anything off of. who looks at a guy maiming someone and then psychologically tormenting him by bringing up his worst traumas and deepest fears all while cheerfully working for an organization doing unspeakable things to children and a man trying to start another war on terror and says ‘okay but they should kiss’? who does that?

the fact that he decides to help raiden at the end also doesn’t mean anything. unless you want to look at his dlc and decide that since he decided to help armstrong that means you ship THEM.

that’s actually another of the reasons it would never work. raiden is an idealist. he has very strong beliefs about right and wrong. and sam… doesn’t. his little 'we’ve heard enough speeches about ideals’ is just something he says to disguise the fact that he doesn’t have any. he flip-flops over committing atrocities like he’s trying to decide what to have for breakfast. meanwhile raiden would have sooner let armstrong kill him than help with his plans. they’re completely incompatible. raiden might have had some respect for sam’s fighting skills, but he’d never respect him as a person. because sam goes against everything he is.

i mean even among criminals those who hurt children are considered some of the lowest of the low. for a strong idealist like raiden? sam and his pixy stix of a moral backbone would be utterly repulsive. they couldn't be friends, they couldn't be lovers, they couldn't even be rivals because that implies some sense of competition. raiden has no feelings of competitiveness towards sam, he didn't try to hunt him down, he literally only engaged with sam when sam actively got in his way. sam isn't anything special to him--just another piece of shit helping ruin childrens' lives and destabilize international relations. no more or less important than anyone else who gets in his way in his quest to stop desperado and armstrong.

so honestly, even if sam did mean any of his little comments, it wouldn't matter. it wouldn't matter, because to raiden, he's just another selfish, heartless bastard who doesn't care how many innocent people suffer as long as he gets what he wants. and to think he even tries to take the moral high ground! there's absolutely nothing worth looking at in their 'relationship' because they don't have one.

so yeah. suffice it to say, there's nothing there, and people who act like there is should make sure they stretch before they pull a muscle reaching that hard.

[hostilemuppet]

PART FOUR (snack pack edition)

smidge: poppys royal adviser who occasionally helps with audio mixing since we made poppy both a queen and a popstar who gives a shit anymore. initially not in the spotlight, she is caught by paparazzi sharing a stoutberry soda with poppy after the "breakup". she is thrilled by the immediate rumours of her being poppys rebound and she takes the opportunity to capitalise on the controversy. she starts constantly shittalking branch on twitter, but she makes sure to clear with him privately that its nothing personal, just business. she posts old photos (and some new ones, not that anyone realises) of branch and poppy with branchs face covered (rotates between vomiting emojis, thrown pies and splatted tomatoes). this situation, however, leads to "poppys dating a stan" rumours, which are pretty short lived as poppy makes a statement clarifying "me and smidge have been friends for years, ever since we hatched!" but nothing about whether they were actually dating. smidge tweets "😏".

barb (part 3): barb gets ratio'd for implying milton moss is a pedophile. "grown ass man fucking a minor-passing female". smidge says how shes older than barb, old enough to be her young aunt, so barb antis (barntis) dog on barb by telling her to "listen to auntie smidge, its bed time". barb mutes the tweet and never mentions smidge again but (with her likes hidden through twitter blue) starts liking tweets transvestigating smidge. barb relapses.

tangential: barb never deletes the tweets that get ratio'd, she keeps everything up, no matter how much riff used to beg her to take them down. a call my girl the playstation because shes almost 5 situation.

creek: creek orchestrated the "floyds sextape" debacle bc he thought tanking one of the members of brozones reputation would ruin the band and therefore branch (didnt work bc gay people (the majority of brozones fanbase) love drama). after hearing about floyd collabing with riff (also dead to creek) he decides its personal. he disguises himself as a regular joe at floyds favourite lowkey non celebrity normal person gay bar every night until he actually runs into him and by the time floyd realises hes creek its the next morning after they spent the night in a shitty motel with very high quality drugs, of both the recreational and performance enhancing varieties. what follows is convoluted death note psychological warfare where creek thinks he is manipulating floyd but really floyd is always 2 steps ahead of him doing the REAL manipulating and finds it really entertaining. occasionally the entire internet will convince itself (with floyds help) that creek is an abusive boyfriend, and creek antis (crantis) will write threads about how "floyd isnt really pro life, creek is grooming him" etc, and depending on how many lines floyd has snorted off creeks torso (big reveal) he will qrt with "i am 10 years older than him". bruce clay and branch know the truth, that floyd is fucking with creek, but they all agreed that jd wouldnt be able to stop himself from spilling the beans so they decided in their second family group chat (that jd is not a part of) to not tell him (floyd asks "can you guys pretend i feel anything for creek other than amusement and mild lust" and branch asks "was that last part really necessary"). jd thinks floyd is actually in love with creek and theyre gonna get married some day, which they probably will, but its a celebrity marriage so itll last a year, tops, and creek will get full custody of the twins (their names are brad and angelina) bc floyds too much of a player to be tied down with familial responsibilities (he doesnt want to cut down on his coke habit or address his lifelong commitment issues)

satin & chenille: set up by fans and detractors alike as the rival to Viva La Viva, satin and chenille host their own podcast, except instead of being focused solely on them or whoever is guesting, they focus on current events and politics. the Bedhead Scare podcast, tagline "hot bitches with hot takes", is a controversial (to put it mildly) talkshow (being very generous) where capitalising on controversy is the name of the game and brother, they play to win. they love the drama. they have done irreparable damage to the self image of younger millennial / older gen z pop trolls. they have their own makeup line and have probably pedalled diet pills, while bragging about their effortless figures (chenille gets liposuction regularly and satin lives by "a moment on the lips, a lifetime on the hips"). they have a joint onlyfans which is probably really really weird but anyone who is criticising them is more focused on the snake oil theyve tied their names to or that time they had velvet (sans veneer) on for an episode.

cooper: never checks his qrts or notifs or mentions or indirects, absolutely nothing. he sees it on his timeline or not at all. king of accidental controversy. tweets "i dont see the problem with being pro ship" bc he thinks it means you like boats. prince d has to clarify what he actually means for him often and one day changes his dn to "cooper updates 🎶" as a joke but never ended up changing it back so he regularly gets confused for the actual update account. one day someone asks cooper what he thinks of creek and he answers "i dont watch south park". unbothered. moisturised. in his lane. cooper and hickory tied for winning the idgaf war

abortiongate 2024: soon before floyd and creeks divorce, creek gets his second egg (the twins were fraternal, both parents had an egg in their hair, trolls are weird) and wants to abort it. if youve been following along youll know that floyd is pro life and would never agree to it, so while hes (supposed to be) out creek takes a hammer to the egg, comically the exact second floyd walks back in. news somehow gets out to the public (their maids are being paid off by velvet to supply her with all the dirt they can muster) and before they know it the entirety of twitter is split into 4 stances: "its so sad the both of them lost a child" "i cant believe creek would kill that baby, it was just as much floyds egg as his" "creeks body his choice" and finally "are we forgetting that floyd is literally pro life". the majority are, surprisingly, on creeks side and its the first time he has the better reputation out of the two. floyd gets home drunk after drinking his feelings (and remaining a faithful husband) and creek is sprawled out on the sofa, eating his favourite ice cream, watching his favourite soap, wearing his favourite fluffy robe, loving life. creek says "oh hello love, i dont suppose youve checked twitter today?" and floyd flips him off. floyd drunkenly mourns his unborn baby (he wanted to name them shiloh) on twitter and gets qrtd with google image results for omelettes. people say "oh thats too far, thats not funny" but creek is liking them on main. rare victory for creek! just 300 more and theyll be approaching even

the diamonds: family vlog channel. guy exploits his baby infant son for internet microfame (the fact hes besties with the queen helps too). does a lot of crossfit. despite marketing himself as wholesome and spotless guy gets into controversy when he is caught soliciting a camgirl and the channel goes on "hiatus". guy makes a big show of how tiny diamond isnt allowed to use the internet but tiny runs a stan account (for trollex, if youre curious) and gets into a lot of fights where he pulls the neurodivergent minor card. speaking of, his carrd is an epileptics nightmare. guy gets cancelled (again) for agreeing with floyds pro life views (he posted "when someones getting cooked for a take you agree with" on priv which floyd has access to, and throwing someone under the bus to save your own skin runs in the family it seems). tiny consoles him and assures him that hes still the best daddy in the world, then goes to his room and posts his trollex fancams under the GUYISOVERPARTY hashtag for views. even though guy is trying to teach tiny his values, tiny has access to the internet and has looked into the issue enough to be confident he is pro choice. when guy finds out he sobs "WHERE DID I GO WRONG?" in autotune

biggie: has an account for mr dinkles where he acts as if its mr dinkles running it (with "cutesy" poor grammar and spelling) and for some reason or another he gets into mild drama that he makes SO much worse bc while addressing it he doesnt break character. mr dinkles is gay and homophobic

dj suki: decently popular until it comes to light she steals her sets from her child niece with minor adjustments (a basic kick drum loop + sample phrases recorded from her friends without permission). dj suki says it was bc "shes too young to deal with the spotlight, and this way her art still gets to be shown to the world!" conveniently leaving out how much money she gets out of it. its totally fine though, because sometimes dj will take cj to get fast food (her parents are vegans) and maybe, MAYBE, if a set does particularly well, shell give her some starbursts, and cj will say "i prefer chocolate, you know this" and dj will say "well, life aint fair, kid"

fleekgate 2027: several years after the divorce creek and floyd run into each other at a charity event for orphans. its a little awkward. they've both had some wine. they wake up the next morning married again. even though they're initially disgusted they both missed each other so much, they had become so unhealthily codependent on their fucked up looney tunes dynamic. they really think they're gonna make it work this time! fingers crossed 🤞

Brozone (and friends (and enemies)) twitter drama au

Collaborative between me and @squirrelpatties. Truly our magnum opus

Jd: previously a frequent twitter e-clown infamous for name searching and starting beef with people who insulted him. His fanbase thought it was hilarious in a "grandpa escaped the hospital" way. Eventually was forced to relinquish control of @/brojohndoryofficial to his pr manager (clay) after he responded to 14 y/o @/j0ndryballzweat.

Floyd (part 1): his sex tape (with a fan he didnt know was a fan but thats hardly relevant) gets leaked. For the first three days everyone's timeline was full of "do NOT share it around, dont even look for it, if someone sends it to you IGNORE it, this is a disgusting breach of privacy" until Floyd addresses it by tweeting "decided to put on a different kind of show for you guys" and all hell breaks loose. Every tweets hidden replies are full of screencaps and reuploads for a month. People edit the video so just before anything explicit happens it's replaced by a video game cutscene or meme, which Floyd retweets a lot of. His brothers ask him to stop (both for publicity and bc it makes them uncomfortable) so he starts posting thirst traps on insta. Clay yells at him so Floyd tweets "clay just asked when I'm gonna get a girlfriend :/" which brings us to-

Clay: homophobia allegations. Admittedly the least serious and would have blown over quickly if it weren't for him panic tweeting "I'm not homophobic! My girlfriend is a bi lesbian!" People were NOT happy. It takes him three days of retweeting 'helpful educational threads and carrds' on lesbianism written by 14 y/os for people to get off his back. Viva understands.

Bruce: stays off social media bc its the mind killer so he lets clay take care of @/brobruceofficial. This goes well until clay gets drunk and thinks he's on his private account but is actually on Bruce's public. When he wakes up (hungover) in the morning hes got Bruce banging on his door asking why TMZ is reporting on him cheating on his wife. Bruce tells him to clear things up but clay JUST got the lesbians off his back and can't afford to be back in the hotseat...

Branch and poppy: branch was annoyed by all the branch/poppy rpf fanfic (poppy likes them bc she thinks they're cute and funny. When brozone go on tour she reads the smutty ones) so he suggested to poppy that they stage a fake breakup. Poppy is initially against the idea until branch brings up how much fun itd be to sneak around like a couple of teenagers. Poppy scrapbooks the tabloids about their breakup. Clay and Bruce blame clays drunken tweets on branch so clay seems like the victim. Poppy acknowledges this on twitter in a way that very heavily implies they broke up bc branch was cheating on her with her own sister. Viva does not understand. This one doesn't have a resolution yet bc we moved onto:

Barb: previous lesbian icon turned reactionary transphobe. Riff stopped associating with her once she started getting really public with it and now she keeps tweeting stuff like "you-know-who left me just to work with misogynists. Really makes you think 🤔 " which he ignores.

Riff: while still working with barb he was approached to collab with creek (damage control for the... unsavoury things he said about rock trolls). The second the song released he tweeted "wow that guy was an asshole LOL" bc he didn't realise he wasn't supposed to do that. Cut contact with barb once her transphobia went from "mild, I can fix her" to "jesus fucking christ". Briefly worked with Floyd until his second controversy at which point riff tweeted "cmon, man" and turned off his phone. Riff hasn't done anything wrong and he deserves a lot better

Velvet: crafted the perfect expose thread on Floyd when she was in prison, including "pro life" "publicly sharing inappropriate sexual content" and "uses the toothpaste flag". Posts it the second she gets let out of prison and instantly becomes #1 on trending (alongside "floyd" "pro life" and "#HUGS4CLAY).

Floyd (part 2): tweets "why does it even matter that I'm pro life if I'm gay and don't 'believe' in 'voting'" before doing another line off his boyfriends torso. People bring his leaked nudes back up and start insulting his dick size and its the first time hes ever let a controversy bother him. His next tweet is "I am not ashamed of my body" and the top reply (creek pfp) is "you should be ❤". Clay is biting the skin off his own tongue.

[sburbian-sage]

Strifing Without Specibus: How To Weaponize Your Sylladex & Other Harming Implements

One’s Strife Specibus is one of the more important tools in the game. Defending from Underlings and PK’ers, facing down the final bosses and Unreal Heirs, fruitless sparring with your Guardians and Coplayers, and the time honored tradition of getting into dick-measuring contests with your friends, seeing who can make the coolest or most absurd method. Some people allocate their Specibus accidentally, but as their improvised weaponry grows on them, they “main” it, trying as hard as they can to keep using it in future sessions. Your average Player will use a variety of Strife Specubi, from typical weapons like bladekind, pistolkind, and hammerkind, to weird choices like bookkind, peprmillkind, or rulerkind (measuring sticks, not governing bodies). Some people choose theirs because they like it, some choose for versatility, and some choose for metagaming purposes.

Sometimes though, the Strife Specibus isn’t enough. You’ve got some wimpy kiddy scissors that just won’t cut it while an Ogre prepares to swing. You’ve got a lance, but a winged Imp flies out of reach. You’ve got enough mangrit to toss a dryer, which you conveniently have on-hand, but no dryerkind, and the strange abstracted game-y nature of reality thus prevents you from attacking with it. In such cases, instead of un-abstracting your Strife Deck for the purposes of tossing it on the floor and stepping on it, perhaps you should get good and learn how to weaponize your Sylladex.

We’ve all been there. We’re having trouble fighting things, so your smarmy know-it-all friend tells you “a hyuk hyuk why dont u fite with your sllyadex yuo fucking scrub” and then doesn’t tell you how to actually do it. So you flail around, then learn how to do it kind of, and then stop doing it and rely on your Strife Specibus. Then years later, someone with less experience than you is having trouble fighting things, so you tell them “a hyuk hyuk why dont u fite with your sllyadex yuo fucking scrub". With typos, because you’ve turned into a silly mspaint strawman comic man. And then you cry. It’s a vicious, dehumanizing cycle, and you probably want to punch that guy or yourself, but you can’t because you don’t have fistkind you fucking scrub. You also can’t throw stuff at him, because you learned the bare basics of Sylladex fighting so you’re very shitty at it. So I’m going to help you break that cycle, and teach you actual lessons of fighting with your Sylladex. That way, you can walk right up to that dude, then toss a bunch of cream pies at him, then watch him scream and cry like a silly mspaint strawman comic man. Then you can do it to your past self. Then go mad with the power of throwing things.

The Fundaments: How Do I Shot Web?

I wrote this section after all the others because I realized too late that some of you might not even know the basics of weaponizing your Sylladex. That’s sad and pathetic, but it’s not unlikely, and best to put it here now rather than get accused of putting the cart before the horse later. Basically, you know how if your Sylladex is full, if you captchalogue something else, it goes flying out at high speeds? This is the mechanic you are exploiting. Catchaloguing an item such that it ejects something you’re holding on. The following section will be divided into Taos (even more fundamentals) and Zens (more advanced tricks), because I read a book that did this once and I thought that was cool.

Also, you should know that Hope players will be better than you at this. [Eject] is a Hope-exclusive ability that automatically ejects something from their Sylladex, and it’s very easy to learn, and it completely removes half the challenge from weaponizing your Sylladex (that is, finding something to put into the thing). While you’re scrambling for rocks so you can launch your fridge, they’ll be launching fridges at a whim. If you’re not a Hope player, then do what everyone else does. Bitch about it and move on.

Tao of Sylladex Strife: Know Your Fetch Modus

If you’re going to be using your Sylladex to fight, know how it works. Even babies know how to pick stuff up, but sometimes babies get confused by how their particular Fetch Modus actually works. And maybe you’ll get confused even if you’re not a baby (read: teenager), particularly if you get dropped into a new Session and the guy whose place you’re taking is a hipster and decided to grab one of the most esoteric Fetch Modi known to man. So make sure, before you even THINK of mis-using your Sylladex for violent purposes, that you understand how it works. And check the back, because there might be settings.

Once you’ve done that, you need to re-learn it again. This time, understand how it works in combat. Particularly, how does it eject, and how can you use it? FIFO and FILO Sylladice will eject the earliest item. Hashmap ejects the item occupying the slot you’re attempting to fill. Tree doesn’t eject so much as stuff falls. Array is wonderful for inventory management (even though I prefer Index), but it ejects stuff randomly. Enabling the “detect collisions” setting also makes inventory management easier, but considerably slows down the speed at which you can weaponize your Sylladex. How long does it take to actually captchalogue items? Is it complicated, or unwieldy? When something gets ejected, how does it fly? It’s somewhat complex, re-assessing your understanding of your Sylladex, but some general tips are as follows.

Knowing what will eject is better than random ejection.

More space means more stockpiling, but it becomes harder to keep track of your stuff.

Less space means you know your inventory better, but you have less room to maneuver and can’t stockpile as well.

Turn off “detect collisions” if you want to use your Sylladex in battle.

Short and uncomplicated captchalogue mechanics are better.

Tao of Sylladex Strife: Know Your Inventory

Now that you understand how your Fetch Modus functions, you need to understand its contents. Your Sylladex will serve two functions. An inventory, and an arsenal. “Inventory” basically means “stuff for use in puzzles and alchemy”, “arsenal” means “stuff I will use to commit murder with”. Just as it’s good to have a Fetch Modus that can serve those two functions, it’s good to have a balanced inventory. Key items, and tossable junk items. It’s also important that you know what’s going to be used. Safely take out keys, and toss your dishwasher, not the Glass Orb of Not Softlocking The Game.

As for your arsenal, understand what does and doesn’t make an effective weapon. Straight razors and sharp and fly fast and long, but they’re small and might break. Fridges are big and heavy, so they’ll do a lot of damage, but also destroy the environment and have bad range. Make sure as shit you’re out of range of your impact bombs when you let them loose, and don’t toss garden gnomes if you’re trying to knock back a Giclops. While they fill the role of bullets (with the Sylladex as the gun), they’re more like specialized tools that are all used by hurling them at people you don’t like.

Tao of Sylladex Strife: Know Your Surroundings.

Understanding your battlefield is not only important in general warfare, it’s also important when considering your throwables. While most Players who stick to their guns (so to speak) will mainly traverse their Land only looking for that which is essential to winning the game, you need to traverse it while understanding it on two levels.

The first level is the Strategic Level. Understanding your Land as a whole, and how to utilize the TOYS (Tools Of Your Surroundings) within. If you find yourself low on Sylladex weapons, where you can stock up, and what will you be stocking up on? What’s the fastest route to those locations from where you are? Does a certain location have better weaponry for the specific foes you’ll face later on? Stuff like that.

The second level is the Tactical Level. This is understanding your immediate surroundings while in a fight. What items can you quickly get to? Which ones should be used for ejection, which are best for softening the enemy up, and which are best for dealing lethal blows? Is it at all possible to make new items, like smashing the tile floors or breaking a window and captchaloguing the ensuing debris?

It’s a bit difficult to give blanket lessons on this Tao, but it’s always keep an analytical eye. You should know where your TOYS are before you need them, lest you get caught with your pants down.

Zen of Sylladex Strife: Art of the Adventure Gamer

You could tag SBURB as a lot of games. AR MMO survival psychological action adventure with house sim elements. Early-access too, considering how shitty it is. But don’t forget the adventure part. Have you ever played those point-and-click adventure games like Monkey Island or Sam & Max, and been amused with how the protagonists will take completely random and sometimes absurd objects because they could be useful? Well stop smiling, because they’re always right and you need to start doing that too.

First of all, you should already have been doing that. SBURB is also a puzzle game, and not only can potentially any item help you with puzzles, but every item could be useful for Alchemy purposes. Well now you need to add “killing stuff” to the list of potential uses for every item. Diagnose yourself with severe kleptomania and start acting like it. Grab everything you can! Use everything on everything! Stack up on Captchalogue Cards! Seriously, they’re dirt cheap for the Alchemiter. And speaking of Alchemy...

Zen of Sylladex Strife: Alchemy Isn’t Just For Weapons

Everybody loves going down to their Alchemy Pad and making new weapons, new armor, new tools, and a whole lot of useless bullshit. It reminds them of the satisfaction of upgrading their equipment or buying a new level of gear in the other video games they’ve played. Those video games, however, also tend to teach you that upgrading your ammunition or spending money on special ammo is a waste of time. It is, but not necessarily in SBURB. While improvised weaponry for Sylladex fighting is comparable to ammo, the ease of Alchemy means that not only is is usually cheap to make “upgraded ammo”, but they can be pretty effective. For example, throwing a couch at someone will hurt. Steel nails are very easy to acquire. A bit of Grist and the || function later, and you’re throwing a steel couch at someone. Not to mention, like that couch, some ammo is easy to retrieve. So next time you settle down to celebrate Gristmas, consider loading your Sylladex with some harmful objects.

Zen of Sylladex Strife: Mod Your Modus

Now that you know you should know your Sylladex, you should begin experimenting with it. If you can, grab a Modus Control Deck and a couple of extra Fetch Modii. If not, then you could try Alchemy or perhaps programming. Mix-and-match modii until you have something stronger, then once you’re settled, get to understanding that. Try to find a way to circumvent the weaknesses of the one you’re currently using. It’s kind of like sitting down at a gun bench, except your gun should also be able to carry stuff effectively, and is infinitely more confusing to comprehend.

Speaking of the Modus Control Deck, remember that you can use it to change the Fetch Modus you’re currently using. It’s possible to change Fetch Modii manually, but I find the MCD is more elegant and simple. So it might be a good idea to have several Modii for several occasions, and use the one you think you’ll be needing. For example, use something Inventory-suited like Index when exploring, and when you’re expecting a fighter, switch to something Arsenal-suited like Fingerbands. Just remember to not displace the MCD, or you’ll be running around with the one you’re using forever.

Zen of Sylladex Strife: Fighting At Full Power

This is the Zen that makes you feel like a warrior. If you intend to fight with your Sylladex, you need to remember that it is one of at least two weapons at your disposal. You also have a Strife Specibus. You must use both if you want to truly succeed. Throw something heavy at a Giclops, then pepper him with bullets. When locking blades with a Lich, stun him with a surprise vase, then riposte. I once saw a guy with Hammerkind augment the swing of his sledge with a safe going at breakneck speed, so his strike went at terminal velocity and tore a Basilisk in half. You’re going to have to learn how your Strife Specibus factors into all of this, and probably practice, but by mixing conventional warfare with captchalogue warfare, you become significantly harder to predict, and much more deadly.