#they just cut out the last 50 seconds of the song for some reason. i just realized that. that's wack

[mybackiskillingmebb]

fucks me up sometimes that my roommate and i have different understandings of twin fantasy because whenever i talk about it, i'm usually talking about mirror to mirror and when she talks about it, she's usually talking about face to face.

bc like. we both agree that tf is just like fundamental to our beings. but it's just so fucked to me that she has different versions of certain songs in her head than i do. like i'm genuinely so floored at the thought that when she thinks about high to death, she thinks about high to death [2018] and not high to death [2011] because even tho at their core they're similar, to me htd [2011] is just so much more... idk, melancholy?? that doesn't feel right but htd [2011] just has this quality to it that htd [2018] doesn't (...or perhaps it's the other way around. even after listening to it a few times, and despite how big of a proponent of synth i usually am, i'm unsure how i feel about the synth parts of htd [2018])

intimate. that's the word i'm looking for, i think. i know people have described mtm that way before but there isn't really a better word for it. i know it's bc i prefer mtm over ftf but something about ftf just feels so... clean. removed, even. like in my head that's just not how twin fantasy was meant to sound, but then i have to remember that for most tracks off of ftf, it's supposed to be like that because they're different songs with different lyrics that just happen to share the same song title.

i guess it's apt. mirror to mirror is the wreck as it's actively happening, as it's tearing you limb from limb and telling you that it loves you. face to face is the wreck as a distant memory that perhaps isn't distant enough, a more sanitized version of events that make them easier to process than your vague memory of the horrors you encountered 7 years ago.

[teamcavota]

50 milo murphy's law facts

5 not so fun and 45 fun!

Not so fun to start!

The only Milo Murphy's Law official merchandise is a notebook released in Japan for the MML X PNF crossover.

Disney actually apologized to Dan (and I assume Swampy) for the treatment of Milo Murphy's Law. Dan has expressed frustration at the MMLs treatment before, citing the Hiatus between s1 and s2 and the fact it did not air on the main Disney Channel.

Doof appears in more episodes than Cavendish and Dakota in s2 (this is the real reason we needed a s3). Also, while PNF/Doof stuff was planned from the start, Disney did push for more PNF.

When season 2 was airing, new episodes would randomly be released in other countries.

Milo was cut from CATU due to a feeling from Disney that audiences would not recognize his cameo.

ok LAME ones out of the way

On the first drawing of Milo there are three names beside it: Milo, Mikey, and...Monty. As you probably know the Mikey one got pretty far and is the name used in the pitch bible (and was referenced with "I am Mikey!".) The reason Mikey was changed to Milo was not a creative choice, but because there was a popular YouTuber named "Mikey Murphy."

Speaking of, Milo was also just going to be another character apart of a different pitch, but Dan kept thinking he should go into his own show. He went to Swampy and asked him what he thought of Milo (at the time Mikey) and the idea of a show about Murphys Law. it took them about an hour to come up with the concept pitch.

You can find several of MML song dubbings on YouTube and other platforms. Most notably the Japanese version (マイロ・マーフィーの法則) highly worth checking out. Fun fact in a fun fact, Doof and Dakota also share the same voice actor in this dubbing.

In re-airings of some of the first MML episodes, second versions were made that included Cavendish and Dakota in the background.

Yes, Melissa was originally going to feel the lasting effects of the pistachion uprising by remaining looking like one instead of Bradley having his arm turned into a vine. This would have been a source of conflict for her in season 2, but in the end they felt it was too much of a change. As far as Bradley's plant arm it was originally only going to come out sometimes before it was changed to being a constant thing. He does have feeling in this arm.

The Island of Lost Dakota's was going to include a scene with merman Dakota's ("merkotas"). There was also going to be "mutation" Dakotas, such as ones with multiple heads.

There exists a live action version of the Milo Murphy's Law theme song. well, sorta, watch it

Before Milo came out Dwampy made the song "we're gonna do it again."

MML was originally set to debut in early 2017.

Weird Al did not originally come to mind for Milo. One of the idea voices they had was Noah Z Jones (Fish Hooks). They auditioned hundreds of people for Milo, but many had issues such as sounding too nervous in their lines. It wasn't until Alex Hirsch (Gravity Falls) posted a photo with Weird Al that Dwampy realized he'd be perfect for the role.

Sara is based on a friend of Dwampy.

In tune with the popular headcanon/fan theory, it's possible they did actually consider making Cavendish a descendant of Milo. When Cavendish was going to agree he also liked Milo, he was going to say he was his descendant. *this may have also just been a joke line

Milo and Cavendish are meant to mirror eachother in the fact Milo deals with Murphy's Law and Cavendish is the "author of his own misery" in regards to things going wrong.

Another thing they considered was the possibility of Dakota and Cavendish being in a romantic relationship, but they ultimately decided they wanted them to have them represent a strong male friendship.

The Milo Murphys Law crew did keep up a fanart and concept art wall. Here, here, and here are some photos.

There was a baby Cavenpus cut from final productions.

There are no official ages for Dakota and Cavendish. Dan has said he believes Cavendish to be older, while Joshua Pruett has said he believes Dakota to be the older one and by a bit of a margin.

Pistachios came to be a thing in the show because a son of some of Dan's neighbors had been allergic to specifically pistachios. They needed an idea for the larger plot and somehow those two came together. (Swampy also notes it's a funny word).

Several of the scripts for MML storyboarders included just the words, "and Murphy's Law happened."

Dan has made at least one Vinnie Dakota dedicated Tiktok similar to his Doof ones.

The Doof and Dakota lines were recorded together, back and forth.

Melissa was going to have a hamster nemesis named Ham. In the Pitch Bible the name wasn't included, but it's explained it was a pet class hamster that would always escape and end up on her things.

The secret handshake Milo and Zack do in scream-a-tourium was intended to be longer.

The studio executive for MML originally thought The Island of Lost Dakota's was a joke idea until he read the script.

There was a MML kids menu at Disneyland circa 2016.

Dakota and Cavendish were originally not in the shows ideas, nor was any B-plot, but being used to it in PNF the writers room felt they "needed something to cut away to"

Joshua Pruett pitched for the MML x PNF crossover for where when Milo opened his backpack to pull out the thing he needed to save the world it'd be...Phineas and Ferb.

Dakota is the reason parking tickets exist, as he can be a bit careless about leaving time vehicles all over the place. Dakota is proud of this.

Melissa's likeness and name is based on Dan's daughter Meli, as to sorta "balance out" Isabella also being based on his other daughter.

They considered a twist where Bob Block would be an alien wearing a face mask.

"Cavendish Farms" is an episode that never came to be pitched by Pruett where in order to track Cavendish Dakota would try to duplicate Cavendish, though none of them would quite be Cavendish. One of the Cavendishs would have a heart to heart with Dakota, while Doof would ultimately call out Dakota for what he's doing and tell Dakota "you already know what he would do." dwampy rejected this idea because this was a bad idea, to which pruett felt that is exactly why Dakota would have tried it. if renewed, pruett would have tried to convince them more on it.

Chop Away at My Heart was originally called "Jump Jump Jump" and was made for another project by one of Dan's friends. After Dan have asked to transform it into something else for Milo, Joshua Pruett suggested a "Lumberjack themed boyband" in the script.

unfortunate split for character block limit

Dakotas voice was inspired by Elvis Costello. It's also the harder voice for Dan in comparison to Doof.

Mark Hamill originally auditioned to play a teacher on the show, but Dwampy liked his audition so much they decided he'd better fit Mr. Block.

In the MML pitch bible it is stated, "Mikey has a destiny to fulfill, something vital to the future of the planet." The goal of Cavendish and Dakota would be to make sure he stays on the right path.

There IS a full version of We're Going to the Zoo, which was played by Dan in this interview at 3:00:30. Several MML songs have had full versions leaked, implying this is probably the case for some other songs too.

Like several other characters, Sara in the MML pitch bible was different from her show counterpart, being "a hipster like Thora Butch in Ghost World."

The song "A World Without Milo" is based on the song "Happy Together" by "The Turtles"

Almost every character, including creatures or minor one-offs had a name in the script. An example is "Pia," the name of the poodle Diogee falls in love with.

In regards to when Dakota talks about cutting through the Mesozoic in First Impressions and the fact it is illogical, Dan says this is likely just Dakota being Dakota (aka, it was a mistake), and not every such line should be taken serious.

In a deleted "Snow Way Out" line it was confirmed that the raccoon in Going the Extra Milo and Fungus Among Us is recurring raccoon.

Brick and Savannah were going to have a role in the crossover.

Story ideas from the MML pitch bible that never came to include a beach episode, a Friday the 13 episode, and an episode where Cavendish and Dakota try convincing Milo to take a self defense class leading to conflict with a hidden ninja gang.

For unspecified characters (probably multiple different sets) Pruett wrote in hugs that were cut by (mostly) Dan. In response, he says he "put 4 in so at least 1 stays."

S3 would have likely included: A third Block (yes, still voiced by Mark Hamill and a Block "family meeting"), Milo creating the universe, Dakota and Cavendish getting the promotion they wanted but being unsatisfied, Elliot cleverly being connected to the overarching plot, AU exploration (akin to pnf) including an episode where Dr Zone is real, and a conclusion to the Prof Time arc. The overarching plot would have been the "biggest yet."

credits to: danvillecheese for suggestions + encouragement, cheetochild989 for facts the fact about going to the zoo and a world without milo, the 2nd dimension on YouTube, my hamsterward friends, and of course all the talented people who worked on MML :3

[savebatsartedition]

Scratchcraft fanart again!!! (Much higher quality on Scratch.)

-

A LOT more notes under the cut!

Scratch link: https://scratch.mit.edu/projects/891267487/

Youtube notes:

(PLEASE READ DESCRIPTION.) Here is my "artistic" version of pressing space through my fanart dump. Whoop dee doo. Enjoy I think. 

Idk why, but this recording RUINED the quality of the art. They look better in scratch bitmap if you can believe if. (My #scratchcraft tag on my tumblr art blog is another, possibly higher quality, place to look for this art as well.) 

Guys I PROMISE it's totally not blood. :3 

Instructions:  Right arrow, space or click to go forward, left arrow to go back. Do NOT steal my art! It's been too long! XD 

Drawings:  1: Storm and sand 2: Voidway fighting Tall from the Season 3 Finale 3: Carsick and the dragon puke fiasco (Ft. Spector and Hunted laughing at him.) 4. Storm killing Shulkers. :3 (He actually specifically asked me to make this one!) 5. Storm and his new house. :3 (I'm Storm's thumbnail person now, apparently.) 6. Storm flying through the cliffs 7. Storm flying through the cliffs (Alt) 8. Waterfall 9. Goodbye Huntedskelly! 10. Storm going shopping yippie! 11. Storm shopping with less effects. 12 - 13. Saltyy dragon au (I think I posted these before, but not with good photos lol) 14 - 15. Hunted dragon au (Same with the second of these) 16. Mallon dragon au (this one too) 17. Inkamar dragon au 18. Alexstudios dragon au 19. Carsick dragon au 20. Just a regular Huntedskelly :) 21 - 27. trying to work out Inkamar's design. 28 - 20. Foxlife37 (and the Cod God in the first one) 31. Waveii 32. Stormlordzeus 33. Magic_02 34. Mallonations 35. PotatoAnimator 36. Saltyy 37. Storm and the blue axolotl 38. Storm vs the Creamy Lama Pokemon battle 39. Just the Creamy Lama 40. Just Storm 41. Voidway and Saltical at the world meeting table from the first Hetalia episode. (None of the art on this slide is mine. I just edited it.) 42. Storm vs Warden 43. Storm vs Panda (lol) (Also it's the thumbnail of this project, ignore the text.) 44. Just Storm from that last one. 45. Storm with sand to celebrate his return. 46. A watercolor thing of Storm from a WHILE ago. 47. Another random Storm. 48. Mallonations 'cus he found another account of mine on a different website. [For the record, it was this one] 49. An old comparison of my two Kenpoviper designs. 50. A REALLY old drawing of Hunted I just don't think I've posted on Scratch. 51. Voidway to a song because he requested it lol 52. Kenpoviper for an expression challenge. 53. Huntedskelly for an expression challenge. 54. A warning thingy 55. Voidway for an expression challenge. 56-58: Voidway design details 59-67: Huntedskelly drawings I doodled in math. :3

30-36 was me asking my sisters to give me random scratchcrafters to draw. :) Fun! 

Feel free to ask in the comments lol. 

Notes and Credits: @savebatsfromscratch (me) for the art and designs. All creators are credited above in the list of drawings. Song: Unfounded Revenge Smashing Song of Praise - Super Smash Bros Version Hetalia for that one background lol. 

Programs/art materials used in the various drawings:   1.Scratch bitmap (Almost all digital artworks are entirely done with Scratch bitmap.)   2. Paper and pen (Literally, clearly these are not scratch bitmap.)   3. Some crayons in some cases.   4. A tiny bit of mspaint for editing some of them.   5. A tiny bit of scratch vector for the same reason.   6. A thing to stretch out the sides of the scratch thing for the last one. (Still bitmap though.)     7. Watercolor on that one of Storm kneeling on the ground from like three years ago??   8. DA Muro for the expression challenge ones.

[lovesongbracket]

Reminder: Vote based on the song, not the artist or specific recording! The tracks referenced are the original artist, aside from a few rare cases where a cover is the most widely known.

Lyrics, videos, info, and notable covers under the cut. (Spotify playlist available in pinned post)

When We Were Young

Written By: Tobias Jesso Jr. & Adele

Artist: Adele

Released: 2015

Newly-returned pop icon Adele worked with songwriter Tobias Jesso Jr. and producer Ariel Rechtshaid on the “‘70s styled shimmery disco ballad” “When We Were Young,” the second single from her album 25. She indicated in her Rolling Stone feature that the Elton John inspired ballad was her favorite on 25. The piano used on the recording belonged to iconic minimalist composer Philip Glass. The piano is in Jesso’s grandmother’s house. Adele explained, “It used to be this mad party house and for some reason [Glass’s] piano was there so we wrote the song on that.” In a town hall interview for SiriusXM’s The Spectrum, Adele described the setting of “When We Were Young” as a party with old friends and acquaintances, with “everyone that you’ve ever fallen out with, everyone that you’ve ever loved, everyone that you’ve never loved…And you’re all thrown together at this party when you’re like 50, and it doesn’t matter and you have so much fun and you feel like you’re 15 again.”

[Verse 1] Everybody loves the things you do From the way you talk to the way you move Everybody here is watching you 'Cause you feel like home, you're like a dream come true But if by chance you're here alone Can I have a moment before I go? 'Cause I've been by myself all night long Hoping you're someone I used to know [Pre-Chorus] You look like a movie You sound like a song My God, this reminds me Of when we were young [Chorus] Let me photograph you in this light In case it is the last time that we might Be exactly like we were before we realised We were sad of getting old, it made us restless It was just like a movie It was just like a song [Verse 2] I was so scared to face my fears Nobody told me that you'd be here And I swear you'd moved overseas That's what you said when you left me [Pre-Chorus] You still look like a movie You still sound like a song My God, this reminds me Of when we were young [Chorus] Let me photograph you in this light In case it is the last time that we might Be exactly like we were before we realised We were sad of getting old, it made us restless It was just like a movie It was just like a song [Refrain] (When we were young) (When we were young) (When we were young) (When we were young) [Bridge] It's hard to admit that everything just takes me back To when you were there, to when you were there And a part of me keeps holding on just in case it hasn't gone 'Cause I still care, do you still care? [Breakdown] It was just like a movie It was just like a song My God, this reminds me Of when we were young [Refrain] (When we were young) (When we were young) (When we were young) (When we were young) [Chorus] Let me photograph you in this light In case it is the last time that we might Be exactly like we were before we realised We were sad of getting old, it made us restless Oh, I'm so mad I'm getting old, it makes me reckless It was just like a movie It was just like a song When we were young

I Don't Want to Miss a Thing

Written By: Diane Warren

Artist: Aerosmith

Released: 1998

“I Don’t Want to Miss a Thing” was Aerosmith’s first number one song. It was featured in the movie Armageddon, which starred Steven Tyler’s daughter, Liv Tyler. U2 was originally asked to perform this song for the movie—the idea for Aerosmith performing it only came after Liv was cast. Aerosmith’s guitarist Joe Perry explained to Classic Rock magazine in 2002: “At the time, we just didn’t have the time to settle down and do it. We were out on the road, so they brought us in to see the movie and said ‘here’s the song, this is where it fits into the movie, you can do it if you want.’ So we were in the studio within the next three days cutting it. And yeah, we do wish that we’d had a little more time, so that we could have had a shot at writing it, but it was perfect timing. The song was great, people loved it, and I don’t think people care that much who wrote it.” Spinner claims that songwriter Diane Warren intended the song to be for Celine Dion.

[Verse 1] I could stay awake just to hear you breathin' Watch you smile while you are sleeping While you're far away and dreaming I could spend my life in this sweet surrender I could stay lost in this moment forever Where every moment spent with you is a moment I treasure [Chorus] Don't wanna close my eyes I don't wanna fall asleep 'Cause I'd miss you, babe And I don't wanna miss a thing 'Cause even when I dream of you (Even when I dream) The sweetest dream would never do I'd still miss you, babe And I don't wanna miss a thing [Verse 2] Lying close to you, feeling your heart beating And I'm wondering what you're dreaming Wonderin' if it's me you're seeing Then I kiss your eyes and thank God we're together And I just wanna stay with you In this moment forever Forever and ever [Chorus] I don't wanna close my eyes I don't wanna fall asleep 'Cause I'd miss you, babe And I don't wanna miss a thing 'Cause even when I dream of you (Even when I dream) The sweetest dream would never do I'd still miss you, babe And I don't wanna miss a thing [Bridge] I don't wanna miss one smile I don't wanna miss one kiss Well, I just wanna be with you Right here with you, just like this I just wanna hold you close I feel your heart so close to mine And just stay here in this moment For all the rest of time Yeah (Yeah) Yeah (Yeah) Yeah! [Chorus] Don't wanna close my eyes Don't wanna fall asleep 'Cause I'd miss you, babe And I don't wanna miss a thing 'Cause even when I dream of you (Even when I dream) The sweetest dream would never do I'd still miss you, babe And I don't wanna miss a thing [Chorus] I don't wanna close my eyes I don't wanna fall asleep 'Cause I'd miss you, babe And I don't wanna miss a thing 'Cause even when I dream of you The sweetest dream would never do I'd still miss you, babe And I don't wanna miss a thing [Outro] Don't wanna close my eyes I don't wanna fall asleep, yeah I don't wanna miss a thing

[crystalelemental]

Alright, I’m in what I’m assuming is hard endgame in Cassette Beasts, and can confirm, the teams are definitely working.  I’ve beaten Ianthe, all the rematches against the rangers, and all the Archangels fights except whatever happens when I solve the song.

The part is as follows.

Miasmodeus Attacks: Smach, Pustule Bomb Buffs: Raise Arms, Elemental Wall, Mind-Meld Passives: Fireproof, Roll Again (+1 slot), Sugar Rush, AP Refund

Decibell (Kayleigh) Attacks: Siprt, Hurricane, Headshot Buffs: Doc Leaf, AP Boost, Taunt, Echolocation, Air Wall Passives: AP Starter (+1 slot)

Ramtasm Attacks: Smack, Last Rites Buffs: Mind-Meld, Ritual, Nurse, Elemental Wall, Gambit Passives: Shear Luck, Phase Shift (when needed)

Kirikuri Attacks: Smack, Toxic Stab, Copper Chop, Last Rites Buffs: Leech, Poison Pollen, Plant Wall Passives: Splinter

Sppoki-onna Attacks: Spirt, Thunder Blast, Life Absorb, Zephyr, Blizzard Buffs: Fog, Avalanche Passives: AP Refund (+8% effect chance)

Queenyx Attacks: Smack, Life Absorb, Snow Rush, Damage Roll, Last Rites Buffs: Ritual, Gambit, AP Donate Passives: Vengeful Curse

The team has three strategies that we generally employ.  All of them lead with Kayleight and Decibelle, but the exact plan past that opener changes a bit.

Strategy 1: Miasmodeus Miasmodeus is hysterical.  Holy shit, I regret not picking this as the starter.  Poison’s only weakness is Fire, and it can have Fire resistance, which cuts Fire damage 50% and ignores secondary effects.  So far the AI has not figured out to avoid hitting her with Fire moves if they have them, which is great distraction.  To add to it, Mind-Meld means copying over all of Decibelle’s traits, and Roll Again with Mind Meld means both beasts have a chance to apply a second action per turn.  Decibelle has Doc Leaf and AP Boost, the former of which is the opening gambit, the latter of which is the follow-up.  Echolocation makes them spread moves so the buff applies to both.  Miasmodeus uses Echolocation after Mind Melding, and can double up on the stall tactics, throwing out Pustule Bomb to poison the enemy, and building toward the coup de grace: double Headshot.

The pros of the team are that we’re damn near invincible barring super-effective shots on Decibelle.  The stall gaming is real.  It does consume a lot of upkeep turns to keep us rolling.  Also, Roll Again can, at an inopportune time, call in a high-cost attack, ruining the Headshot plan.  Which is never my favorite.  The fact that both have a Shield is also a problem, because sometimes the AI just decides to overwrite each other’s shields, and then we just waste HP for no reason.  So I might remove a shield, depending on who has a better alternative action.

Strategy 2: Ramtasm Ramtasm is very similar, but because of the lack of Roll Again, it’s more consistent to hit Last Rites.  This permits Gambit, which sets up three turns of heavily boosted stats, and swapping Decibelle in to Queenyx to AP Donate for another big shot with Ramtasm.  Damage numbers are comical.  That said, I admit that Queenyx doesn’t exactly do a ton.  I like it, but it’s...lacking some things I’d want.  One of the rangers used Dog Days to extend the Ghost duration, and I imagine it does similarly for Gambit.  Which, if I can find an option that gets AP Donate, Dog Days, and ideally Echolocation/AP Boost, I think that would be a stronger option for Ramtasm to utilize.  If I can find such a beast, I’ll probably add the Ghost effect to Ramtasm, just to extend both effects and be a real shithead about it.

Strategy 3: Kirikuri Kirikuri has my favorite tactic in the game: Leech Poison.  This is, so far, the only combination of traits that has worked on every fight.  Even Archangels just drop to it, so long as you’re defensively strong enough.  The plan is to lead Decibelle and Miasmodeus, and Mind-Meld.  On turn 2, Miasmodeus swaps to Kirikuri, who gets Echolocation, and Decibelle swaps to Spooki-Onna.  The two of them can now Echolocation Leech/Poison the entire team as needed, then have Spooki-onna be a real bitch about thing with Fog and Avalanche.  Fog disrupts special, and allows Kirikuri to continue hitting with melee Toxic Stab if AP is high enough.  Alternatively, Avalanche can block a physical hit while Kirikuri sets Plant Shield and just heals it all off.

Other Factors Realistically, Decibelle, Miasmodeus, and Kirikuri handled almost everything once available.  The other three barely see play.  I’d like to get Ramtasm moving, but that requires Dog Days support.  I’m looking into it.

Queenyx was something I wanted to test out, but has barely been useful.  She just doesn’t contribute much?  Like, I had at one point planned for Gambit -> Vengeful Curse, which the Vengeful Curse does work for allies when Mind-Melded, but it’s not exactly consistent, or a good idea to let a thing die.

Spooki-onna also doesn’t see a ton of play.  Which I feel bad about, I love its design and I like the idea of stalling, but frankly it rarely comes up.  Because the rest of the team is so ridiculous.

We’re on to the phase of the game that seems to mostly be fused shadows, and the only major quests left are the main one to leave, and the signposts in the water (I’m playing on Switch, and the game stutters like CRAZY trying to go near water), so almost complete.  There are three beasts left to find, two of which are unique, and one of which requires a specific type of bootleg.  But, I’m close.

[jasonbehrs]

‘why didn’t i say it a million times’ impressions

writing this after finishing the whole series, so i refer to things out of order. spoilers under the cut.

these are not all of my thoughts, just the most overarching ones. if you’re watching and want to dump your play by play reactions on someone who will get it, definitely hit me up! i have plenty of both criticism and appreciation for the show :)

~~~

i started watching for sato takeru (sttkr) and sttkr only. i am so glad netflix doesn’t allow screenshots anymore or else my phone’s memory would be in huge trouble lol he portrayed naoki so CUTELY!

matsuyama kenichi (matsunichi) is another huge fave of mine, and i was wondering why he accepted a non-lead role for this drama. between the two of them (sttkr and matsunichi), he is definitely the better choice for the role considering the possession power. i love sttkr and think he’s talented, but i don’t think he’s better than matsunichi for pulling that off.

that being said, the show runners completely /wasted/ him. he wasn’t possessed nearly often enough to show off his acting acumen, and the detective stuff was very rote and not quite action heavy either. i appreciate what he brought, but i feel bad for him.

that being said (x2), i loved every scene where he and sttkr were partnered. matsunichi moves his face so much, and sttkr seems to forget he has a face to move. the visual dichotomy is so deeply pleasing to me. i need them to act together again, and in something better! (also, i cannot BELIEVE naoki did not hug uozumi in the last episode! where is the gratitude he spoke so much about? lol)

this is my first time watching inoue mao act, and i was not impressed. she is suuuper cute, but i don’t think she had a lot of screen presence. is it the character, or is it her?

speaking of her character, no one can convince me yui is the main character. she may be the female lead and inoue mao may be at the top of the call sheet, but this is a story /about/ naoki. we meet his family, we understand his regrets, we watch the lengths he’s willing to go to and not go to where it concerns the one he loves. yui’s idealism is still storytelling, but the realism in naoki doesn’t just reveal more about his personality, it drives 50% of the emotional plot. (it is worth saying that the other 50% comes from uozumi’s reactions to naoki’s decisions. doesn’t leave a whole lot for yui!!!)

i’ve seen some reviews so far that say the script wasn’t good enough for the superstar leads, and i hard agree. no one said it yet, but i hope no one blames the ensemble cast for it. i loooved all of the secondary characters. song hayoung is my ultimate favourite, the elder uozumi is my second. 🤍🤍🤍 (i love when there’s korean language in my jdramas lol)

i get that the murder mystery plot is necessary with a premise like ‘main character is a ghost but doesn’t know how he died’, but wow i was not invested at all. i could tell eisuke was involved from that very first shot of the grape jellies. i also think his motivation for murder seemed weak? most people break friendships over a misunderstanding like that, they don’t /kill/ the other party omg. the romantic aspect of the show and everyone’s interpersonal relationships were far more compelling. i WOULD watch 50 minutes of unwitting polyamorous negotiations between the dead naoki, the smitten uozumi, and the oblivious yui.

i can’t enjoy episode 10 for what it is. i understand it’s an epilogue/SP of sorts, but the fact that they saved The Reason The Show Is Named What It Is for the final conversation instead of the climax conversation in episode 9 really devalues the watching experience. i disliked 9 while watching, and i disliked it even more once i understood the function of episode 10. honestly, most of 10  could have been a montage, and i’d have derived the same level of satisfaction

the last 40 seconds though, excellent.  when you know he's gone and you're making peace with it at the same time yui is.............................. and then the whistle hits? i gasped. i wished there were no dialogue after that, but it was a good enough feeling that i rated it a 9/10 on mydramalist instead of the 8 i was gonna give it originally lol. ENDINGS MATTER!

speaking of which, i’ve noticed that jdramas lately are trending towards less bitter, more sweet endings. more definitive endings too. a lot of what drew me to jdramas was emotional heaviness, bittersweet quality, and open endings which kdramas and cdramas just weren’t providing me. i suspect that this is an appeal to global audiences, but i hope this is just temporary. i love payoff as much as the next person, but i also love thinking about the story long after it’s over. i’m getting less of that now, and i miss it

if you read to the end, thank you for your time! i hope you have a lovely day :)

[rexobibang]

Artists FAQs

Artists FAQs

What kind of art is accepted?

We accept any type of art, including (but not limited to): traditional art, digital art, manips, banners, icons, wallpaper, gif sets / picspam, vids, podfics, and fanmixes. If you want to do physical art (crochet/knitting, pottery, bookbinding, etc), that is TOTALLY OKAY and accepted too!! 

If you have a question about if what you do would be accepted as art for the Bang, please ask a mod!

What constitutes “finished art”?

For writers, we ask them to complete (bare minimum) 50% of their work. We ask the same of artists: sketches. IF you’d like to go beyond sketches and provide line art, or even full colored art? I’m sure your writer would be over the moon. 

WAIT! What about [me]? I’m a [fanworker]! What’s my bare minimum?!

Right, everyone has different art types and not everyone has a “sketch��. How about this for a breakdown of what could be considered a bare minimum? This should be all right for a 10k/Mini Bang fic. If you have feedback on this, please reach out to a mod and let us know. We are still adapting this rule (2025 is our first time enacting this).

Traditional Art: At least a sketch, black&white

Moodboard: Minimum, three images

Gifsets / Picspam: 2 gifs/4 icons

Poetry: A pair of haikus or 8 line minimum

Podfics: 5-20 minutes in length, depending on writer’s track

Fanmixes: 5 songs

Fanvids or Fanedits: 30 seconds minimum

For physical art, please speak to a mod and we will work with you on your bare minimum. I think concept sketches might be sufficient, but I believe we might need to work with you depending on your project and your writer.

I’m a [fanworker]. Why do you keep using the phrase “artist” or “fanworker”?

Because mod Karma is writing all these FAQs and documents and they are old school and bangs are typically writer and artist. Mod Karma is trying to be inclusive and capture all types of artists – podficcers, poets, fanmixers, etc – at once and yeah. Cut me some slack lol I’m sorry if you don’t like the term. You can provide feedback on any of the check-in forms.

Wait, writers don’t have to have a finished fic? What do they give us?

For 2025, Art Claims will happen the first weekend in May (May 2-4). Mods will match up fanworkers with writers that following week and emails will go out once we have made matches. So you can reasonably expect that by the second week in May that you will have your writer. 

If all goes accordingly, a writer should provide their draft to you within this timeframe (between the second and fourth week in May). The last week in May is when fanworkers have the ability to drop out without issue, 100%. If there are issues with your writer, that’s taken on a case-by-case basis.

By art claims, a writer should very hopefully have at least 40-50% written. That should give you enough to work with:

We will flag anyone who has not met the 40-50% threshold to let you know ahead of time. We will also request that those writers submit at least a document with a brief outline/blurb of what they expect the shape of their story to take so you have an idea of where the story is going. That could be bullet points, a paragraph, however the writer best plots. 

When you connect with the writer, they will hopefully be able to provide you with more details.

Okay, that’s a little weird. What can I expect from this bang?

Above all things, mod Karma believes in collaboration. A fanworker and a writer should be able to meet each other halfway and create something together. That’s not to say a writer should be able to dictate to the artist what they want to see. And the artist shouldn’t just take the story and ghost the writer and create in a silo. What should happen, ideally, is that an artist and writer come together and create something together. With input from both sides. Truly a collaboration. 

If that’s not your thing, then you can both (as a team) decide what works best for you. But communication is key. Please don’t ghost each other. That would make us cry. :(

How many stories can I sign up for?

Honestly, as many as you think you can handle. We won’t stop you. You can sign up for 10 Mini Bangs, or 3 Mega Bangs. Or just 1 Big Bang. But, please, for the love of all things soft and squishy, take care of you and your mental health and your body first. No one wants you to burn out for the sake of fandom. It’s just an event. It’s just fandom. You are more important. 

What’s the drop deadline for fanworkers (for 2025)?

May 23-25, 2025

How do claims work for the Bang?

So claims work by a Google Form. We send it out the first weekend in May (2025). We ask artists how many fics they would like to claim, how many pieces they believe they have time to create (1-5+) and if they mind being paired with another artist on a story. Last year, we had more artists than writers, so we did something called Bonus art (so a Mini Bang got 2 pieces of art, but the Bonus art wasn’t required if the artist couldn’t finish it). We also ask if there’s anything the mods should take into consideration when making matches.

Then, on a scale of 0 (Triggering AF) to 5 (GIMME THAT RIGHT TF NOW), we ask artists to rate at least x-amount of fics a 4 or 5 to match with their top pick. I say x-amount because I’m not sure how many we may get in 2025. In 2023, we said 2 fics. We provided the summaries via PDF and Google Slides ahead of matching. We provide the title, the track, and rating. We also state if the writer would prefer not to receive a certain type of art. 

How do I post my finished art?

This will be determined between you and your writer. Art can either be embedded in the story on AO3 or can be posted as a standalone piece on AO3 that the writer will link to. But it must be posted to AO3.

I don’t have an AO3 account.

We can hook you up with an invite.

Can I share my progress art?

Yes, but only during the promo period(s). Please see the timeline for those date(s).

Can I write as well as produce art?

Of course! We have a role for that!

Can I also sign up to pinch hit?

Absolutely! We’d actually really appreciate it, just in case.

Can I pull out if my writer doesn’t appropriately tag/warn?

If your writer fails to disclose all warnings on their fic and it makes you uncomfortable (including trigger or just flat out squicks), please reach out to a mod. We take tagging very seriously. 

Short answer – yes. You may drop that project. We can rematch you with another writer if you would like.

Is there a discord? (Do we have to join it?)

We have one! You can join it here.

And you are not obligated to join it. Our primary method of communication will be email. Please verify with your team, once teams are assigned, how they would prefer to communicate. Please also be aware that some artists (and writers!) may not have Discord.

[itwas50yearsagotoday]

10/5/23: It was 50 years ago today, October 5th, 1973, Elton John released his seventh album Goodbye Yellow Brick Road. So I wrote already a paragraph about this record, but it got lost when my computer just decided to start screaming... not sure what happened, but I'm sure it's related to my refusal to upgrade to Windows II. Anywho, starting over, this record, a double-album, is certainly a top five best album of 1973... even most of the deep cuts are from at worst listenable to at best near classics. We'll start with the four U.S. Top 40 songs first, as I won't cover them by the time this blog is over... let's start with the #1 song 'Bennie and the Jets'... wow... I think at one point in my 1990s days of hating everything un-ironic, I did not like this song... but it drew me back in like Michael Corleone. Such a unique tune too, as it's pretty simple and kind of empty throughout... easy thumpy beat, random crowd noises, Elton on piano and organ... then he hits that falsetto 'BENNIE!"... I mean c'mon! Oh yeah, I was going to say that this album has aged very well... like there's nothing really embarrassing here (except maybe the title of a certain ska song we'll get to). After 'Bennie', the title track was huge too... kind of a ballad, but such a memorable tune... it would reach #2. Then we have the controversial pick... what I mean is, do we like the original 'Candle In the Wind' which kind of rocks a little, or, do we go with the in-concert 1988 version that became an MTV hit, OR, do we recognize the elephant in the room and go with the 1997 version that replaces MM with Princess Diana. Fuck all that, sorry. The original destroys the other ones, and fuck you if you think otherwise... that newer shit is sentimental garbage, and in a way taking advantage of an accidental death. Yes, I feel passionate about this, because 'Candle' fit MM just so well, and it was done so tastefully. My opinion, fine, but I'm mad that it's even an issue. The song would originally reach #6... you can look up the 'reboots'. Okay! And then the 'rockin' song on the record is 'Saturday Night's Alright For Fighting'... I can remember being a kid and getting EJ's first greatest hits on cassette and this song was probably, along with 'Rocket Man', the main reason I got it. I wore that cassette out... and at the same time, wore out my enthusiasm for 'Saturday', but it's making a comeback in my mind. It's totally a fun song, straight up. Now let's talk about the other bangers... opening up Sir Elton's magnum opus is the 11-minute short suite 'Funeral For a Friend / Love Lies Bleeding'... honestly it really doesn't get going until about five minutes in, although for those first five minutes it's like Elton invited EL&P over to play a ballad... still great! And the rest of the song just fucking rocks... I rarely heard this on KSHE but I did... that's the only way I could have possibly known it before hearing the record. Now there are songs on this album that I did not know prior to exploring... some early deep cuts are the very-1973 sounding 'Grey Seal'... not only is this my favorite track on both records, it is a second or third runner-up to my favorite EJ song... I mean it's like he kicked out EL&P and brought in Steely Dan. That's the only way I can describe it... it's polished, but still raw somehow. Same goes for 'All the Young Girls Love Alice'... a much darker-in-theme rocker, but no less powerful. Okay the only kinda dumb thing about this record is the terrible title 'Jamaica Jerk-Off'... really, Elton (or should I say really Bernie T.)...? It makes me further annoyed because the song is kinda cool! It's not some Zeppelin attempt at faux-reggae, it's actually just plain ol' ska... it's very cool! Okay, since this is a double-album let's run down the rest: 'The Ballad of Danny Bailey' and the last track 'Harmony' are both very good semi-ballads... the rest of the tracks scattered area all just fine, but are only slightly above filler. Overall, though, holy dogshit this is an outstanding record. LISTEN NOW!!

[alsjeblieft-zeg]

034 of 2023

Quick! Chinese or Mexican food?

I’m not familiar with Mexican food. It’s a rare thing in Europe.

How many significant others have you had in your WHOLE life?

Three.

I have to ask: What does the last text you received say?

Beste Proximus klant, je hebt nog 587 MB over van de 3 GB in je mobiel abonnement. You asked, I’m not gonna bother translating.

How about the last text you sent?

Jazeker. Again, not my problem if others don’t understand.

Have you shared any kisses today?

Not yet.

Did the last person you kissed have soft lips, or were they kind of crusty?

He’s okay.

Do you think your life will be any different a year from now?

Hopefully not for worse.

What all is in your wallet?

My ID card, my debit card, my meal ticket card, some cash and coins, and some client cards from shops. I just put my work badge and public transport card somewhere separate so I can access it easier.

How many windows are in your bedroom?

Two.

Have you ever been in a fist fight?

Not really.

When was the last time you went to the doctor?

2nd January, to the psychiatrist. My anxiety is back, apparently.

Are you going out of town anytime soon?

I’m thinking tomorrow and next Friday.

Do you hate your ex?

I don’t care about my first one, but I’m still close friends with my second.

When are you going to get a haircut?

Why paying 50€ just for cutting my hair?

Can you fit your hand around your wrist?

Easily. I have arachnodactyly, though.

Have you ever hurt yourself on purpose?

Yeah, more than once.

When was the last time you applied chapstick?

Never.

Are you a coffee person or a tea person?

Coffee, if ever.

Do you have a weird laugh?

I do indeed. XD

What kind of deodorant do you wear?

Axe. Lol at me XD

Do you have videos on YouTube?

Yeah, but they’re restricted in a way that only people who have a link can watch them.

When’s the last time you had a phone conversation for more than ten minutes?

Never, really.

Do you laugh at inappropriate times?

Happens sometimes.

What’s your fast food restaurant of choice?

None, really.

All the people you’ve kissed, what did their names start with?

J., N., G.

Are you in any kind of pain right now?

Not really for once.

Are you the jealous type?

Not at all.

What did you and your ex fight about most?

Me and Nielsje didn’t fight at all. He’s so calm in every situation.

Do you have a foot phobia?

Not phobia, but feet are ugly, omg.

Well, are you a germaphobe?

No.

Do you get frustrated easily?

Depends on the reason.

Don’t you love long hugs?

Only with two people.

And long kisses?

No. Long kisses are meh.

Have you ever purchased condoms?

Many times.

Do you have a dirty mind?

No, but sex jokes don’t bother me.

What’s your favorite soda?

Vanilla coke.

Do you check the mail everyday, or somebody else?

No one does. We don’t have a letterbox anyway.

Did you think braces were cool when you were little?

No, never.

Do you ever go without makeup or doing your hair?

I’m a dude.

Put your iTunes on shuffle RIGHT NOW and tell me the first song it plays.

I don’t have iTunes, never did & never will.

What is the last song you added to your iTunes library?

I’m not interested in getting iTunes.

Are you embarrassed by any of the songs in your iTunes?

I don’t use iTunes.

When was the last time you were sick?

A month ago or something.

Did you get anybody else sick?

No, my husband got me sick.

Have you had your flu shots?

Never had any, never will. I’ve never had flu in my life anyway.

What brand is your camera?

Canon.

Do you like raisins?

Damn I hate raisins. Thjeir taste is awful.

Who was your valentine this year?

It’s January.

When did you first kiss the last person you kissed?

In 2018.

And when did you last kiss the last person you kissed?

Yesterday.

Did you borrow that shirt from somebody?

What shirt? I’m wearing a hoodie. Do you even know what it is?

What was the last thing you put in your mouth?

Food. Pea soup today.

Do you like to swim?

I’ve never learned to swim lol. Yeah I was born and raised at the sea.

How many vacations have you been on in the past year?

Easter and Christmas at my parents, plus one weekend.

Have you ever gone on vacation with your boyfriend/girlfriend?

Me and my husband travel together on occasion, he has taken me to a few places in Wallonia (he speaks French fluently, thankfully), a few places in Flanders, France, the Netherlands, Berlin and he’s always the driver when we go to my parents.

Are you supposed to be doing homework, young man/lady?

My uni is on hiatus now.

Do you have to wake up early tomorrow?

No, and it’s bad.

Do you have any prescriptions currently?

Bought them all, tthere’s some serious medication coming.

Are you upset about anything?

That my antidepressants take that long to start working. It’s been 4 days and I don’t feel any imrovement yet.

[reids-rendering-reality]

Guys My Age

Summary: Y/N is the newest addition to the BAU team and Spencer appears to have taken a special liking towards her. The only problem is, he thinks he’s too old for her. However, that’s all about to change when they share a hotel room.

(A/N: I’m such a sucker for the hotel room trope so I combined it with two of my other favourite ideas: Spencer being older than the reader and catching her doing yoga)

Type: fluff + a sexual innuendo or two

Warnings: dirty thoughts, insecurity about age, age gap, anxiety, yoga?

Word Count: 2.1K

Spencer Reid’s POV

I pulled the handle of my satchel over my shoulder as I sighed. It was a very long day in a small rural town somewhere deep in Alabama. Everyone else had gone back to their hotel room, besides Hotch and I. There was just something about this case I couldn’t get out of my mind. The feeling of being so close to the final piece of the puzzle, as if it were on the tip of my tongue but I couldn’t grip it. Yet I had to let it go for the night and get some rest. The much needed REM sleep could give me an entirely new perspective on this problem to me tomorrow. At least that’s what I hoped.

On the walk to the hotel room I was getting increasingly nervous, the more rooms I passed in the hallway. This small hotel did not have enough rooms to accommodate the whole team separately. They only had four rooms for the seven of us. JJ and Emily had immediately paired up, just like Rossi and Morgan. And Hotch being the team leader took the single room. Leaving me with our newest and youngest member, Y/N.

It’s not like I didn’t like her. That’s not what it was at all. Just, she made me a little bit nervous. She was so beautiful that sometimes I couldn’t get out any words around her. And that says a lot because I always have something to say. But as cheesy as it sounds, in some moments there is not a single fact that I can recall. 

But the elephant in the room demands to be heard. She is younger than I am. And that by a lot. By exactly ten years and three months. That appears to be a lot. I don’t really know why, but that bothers me. We are both adults, but because of social conventions at our age, I feel as though it is inappropriate. Yet if I were 60 and she were 50 or I was 80 and she was 70, no one would even blink at the gap. Yet because we are young it matters. I feel sad when I think about it because I like her a lot. And when we talk I don’t notice the age gap. In fact, I’d even go so far as to say that it wasn’t even there at all.

What surprised me as I was having these thoughts and neared the room was the fact that I actually considered asking her out. Since Maeve I have not been on a single date. And who said she would even be interested in anything beyond a casual friendship or even colleagueship with me? That’s not even considering the amount of courage it would require for me to tell her. But it’s not like that would be a fruitful endeavour.

And that was the last thought I had before I reached the door to room 179. A prime number. Prime numbers would be my lucky numbers if there were such a thing.

As I rummaged around my pockets and satchel for the key card I noticed the sound of music coming through the door.

“Gotta thank him he’s the reason

That I’ll find what I’m looking for.”

I heard a woman sing over the sound of an electric guitar. I still hadn’t found my key card.

“Guys my age don't know how to treat me

Don't know how to treat me.”

My movements stopped when my brain registered the lyrics. Guys my age…?

“Guys my age don't know how to touch me

Don't know how to love me good.”

My breath hitched and I gulped, key card in hand. Did she mean that? Could it be possible that she would be interested in someone ten years older than her? The feeling of hope was beginning to form in my brain, scenarios of what could be clouding my vision. But they were quickly pushed aside by a dark storm of self-doubt. Because most people don’t listen to lyrics as closely. The lyrics to a song don’t mean anything to them. Did they mean anything to her?

I realised I had been standing in front of the door for way too long and gathered all my confidence to go inside. But nothing could have prepared me for what I was about to see. After closing the door behind me and tucking away the key card into my bag I turned around for the first time.

There she was. In the middle of the room in front of the two twin beds on a yoga mat. Her front leg was bent as she stretched her back. She was only dressed in skin tight pants and a matching bra that complimented the way her body was contorted. The soft light from the night lamp next to one of the beds made her skin glisten just noticeably as if it were glowing. I could feel my eyes widen as I my brain finally added up the pieces of what I was seeing.

“Oh, hi Spence!” she said gleefully turning her head towards mine, “I was feeling a little tense after sitting in that conference room all day. I hope you don’t mind.”

I didn’t even bother to attempt to talk, I could feel how dry my throat was and how my lips would not listen to any command I would’ve given it. So I just shook my head and pulled my eyes away from her as she moved her upper body towards the floor, holding herself up by her ellbows. I walked towards the beds in her general direction trying not to notice how gorgeous her ass looked now that her body was turned away from me. That I even had that thought surprised me and caused a blush to rise to my cheeks. I was thankful that she couldn’t see my face in that moment as I loosened up my tie. Taking a deep breath to calm my nerves, my attention drifted back to the song.

“Don't know how to love me good

So I'm never going back”

There was nothing in that moment that could keep me sane. My wildest dreams could have not come up with this scenario. It felt utterly unreal.

As the song ended I saw her change positions again from my peripheral vision.

“You’re awfully quiet today,” she said while turning the music down.

I noticed panic begin to fill my brain. She wanted to have a conversation.

“I um- it’s been kind of a long day,” I said and cleared my throat, while deciding whether or not it would be a good idea to turn around towards her.

“Have you been at the station the whole time? You must be exhausted,” she responded and continued when I didn’t answer, “I thought you could show me that show you’ve been gushing about.”

How was this real life? My brain began to lose control of my executive functions as my body turned around to face her. She was now sitting on the floor, legs stretched out in front of her, her hands wrapped around her feet as she looked up at me. The low-cut top she was wearing gave me a perfect sight into the curves of her-

I dared not continue that line of thought, already flustered enough as it is.

“Really? You’d be interested in watching that?” I said and blinked.

Her lips spread into a smile, twinkling her eyes, “Yeah, of course. The way you described it makes me really curious.”

“We could watch an episode or two before going to sleep, if you want.”

I just had to take this chance. Even if I could only begin to have a friendship with her, I wanted to be close to her because for some odd reason, I couldn’t bear to admire her from afar.

So not long after, I was setting up the odd hotel room tv to watch the show. It took me the entirety of her taking a shower so that I was only standing back up when she was walking out of the small bathroom in a white bathrobe and a towel wrapped around her head. She smiled up at me as she walked past me, her hand brushing my arm so casually that I questioned whether it actually happened. 

I hesitated again before sitting down on the bed. Was she going to get dressed in front of me? Because no matter how much my amygdala wanted me to see that, my frontal cortex wasn’t going to allow it. I forced myself to look through my satchel in an attempt to find a distraction as I waited for her next move. But luckily, she didn’t tempt my brain too much into overdrive.

I felt as if there was a higher power not willing to spare me for the night when she came out of the bathroom a second time, now something someone might call dressed. She was in a loose light coloured satin pyjama set that showed off her legs perfectly. And as if that were not enough to torture me for the night, she joined me on my twin bed with her bag of chips.

“I hope that’s okay with you, then we can share snacks,” she said so innocently that I almost believed it. But I could still hear the song ringing in my ears and I noticed her eyes take a short glance down at my lips as she said it. I was almost convinced that I wasn’t imagining things.

What really sealed the deal was that I noticed her scoot a tiny bit closer to me every once in a while. At first I could only feel the warmth she radiated, but after about 30 minutes I felt the bare skin of her arm against mine. My breath quickened, which I was sure she had noticed.

I knew the episode off by heart. Which was to my advantage because then my brain could run in a speed that I could barely follow. I tried my hardest to calm down a little bit, which was hard when I could feel the movement of her body as a whole-hearted laugh filled her throat.

“Y/N,” I whispered with all my courage. It was so low that I almost thought she wouldn’t hear it, but she turned her head towards me her eyes following a few seconds after.

Her eyes met mine and it was like I could feel my neurons firing electrical signals throughout my entire body. And just like that, in one swift movement she had grabbed my face by the back of my head and pulled me into her lips.

That was the first time that night that my muscles began to relax as I eased into the sensation of her soft lips moving against mine. It was as though I was beginning to lose myself in the kiss, all insecurities about her feelings towards me or my inexperience gone.

When she ultimately pulled away and rested her forehead against mine, we were both panting gently. My whole body felt warm with the feeling of her breath on my skin and her hands still in my hair. I didn’t dare open my eyes, still afraid that I would wake up from this idyllical dream.

We both didn’t know what to say as we pulled away further and looked at each other. I wanted to say something, to let her know how I felt, but once again, my brain did not follow my commands.

“Did you know when you kiss someone for the first time it causes your dopamine levels to increase for a short period of time? It also makes your heart rate and the oxygen supply to your brain to raise,” I heard my voice say in something between a whisper and my normal talking voice.

“For the first time, huh?” she grinned a little at me.

I reached for her hand and gently took it in mine. I moved her palm over my shirt to the centre of my chest. I could feel my heart race through her hands and I know she could feel it too. She looked up into my eyes again with a look on her face that told me all I needed to know.

[lifewithdavefarts]

DaveFarts - Episode 9 “Trapped In The Closet” [Episode List] Following the most blatant sit-com tropes you can think of, Dave decides to spy on his girlfriend, Dana, because he thinks she’s hiding something. Tim reluctantly decides to join his friend, but the two end up stuck in the girl’s closet, which will eventually turn into a gas chamber.

Trapped In The Closet

“Yeah Dana. Sure. No problem.”

Tim was working on some college tasks, but couldn’t help but to eavesdrop Dave’s conversation with his girlfriend, Dana, on the phone. He could only hear his friend’s replies, which being only the 50% of what they were talking about, it didn’t make a lot of sense. Not that he was interested: Dave was simply hanging out in his room because he had nothing better to do during that warm Summer evening, apparently, and so he simply showed up to Tim’s place with a couple of beers and a remarkable amount of procrastination powers.

Despite being relatively hot outside, Dave was wearing a t-shirt and a pair of long, grey levi jeans, kinda loose as usual. Something that Tim hated about his kink is how quickly he checked his friend’s outfit, something that he always did since Dave is now basically his “fart bud”, against all odds.

“Yeah… yeah… I love you. No… I love you more!”

Kinda funny how Dave, 24, would revert back to an awkward teenager at times whenever he and his girlfriend were on the phone. They probably even acted like that on purpose, because love is doing stupid things together after all.

“Tim. Car. Now!”

Dave hung up and turned weirdly serious, got up and walked downstairs, saying something about getting in the car.

“Wait, what?” Tim asked, questioning whether his friend was being serious or not, but he did follow him to wherever he was going.

“We don’t have much time, Tim. Dana will come back soon. She’s out with her own friends and we have… like… 15 minutes.”

The two walked outside and headed towards the girls’ house, actually only a few blocks away from Tim’s. Tim himself reluctantly followed his bro into this, knowing that, at best, it may turn into a funny mishap to tell to their other pals while being drunk and laugh about it.

“I’ll just pretend your words make any sense, like I usually do…” Tim chuckled, sarcastically, but still following his friend.

“I think she’s hiding something.” Dave explained, walking at a fast pace, Tim right behind him. “She’s been strangely elusive lately and I want to check her room for clues.”

Tim just chuckled in response. “Dave, you do realize that this is not a 90s sit-com, right? Her room? Really? What are you hoping to find out, exactly, anyway? That she’s having some kind of affair behind your back?” he asked, trying to reason with him.

“An affair? You think I’m that kind of guy?” Dave answered, looking surprisingly offended by Tim’s question.   “I just want to make sure she’s fine. She seemed worried about something and she’s like this organized haf-woman/half-machine hybrid who keeps sticky notes in her room to keep an eye on her busy life.”

“Oh…” Tim replied, rather sarcastically.   “Now that makes a lot of sense.”

“Leave your sassiness for later, dork. Can we take your car?” Dave asked.

“Why? We’re already right in front of her house…”

Dave realized that he was so worried that they did, in fact, walked for a couple of blocks and found themselves stepping in Dana’s backyard without even noticing. He just laughed a bit about it.

“Sorry. Love makes me blind.” he joked, knowing that it was a rather silly thing to say anyway.

“Not the words I would have used, but ok.” Tim answered.

“Come on, let’s get inside.” his bro said, with a smirk.  

“Alright… but please, let’s keep a low profile and no awkwa-”

But as they approached to the girl’s house, Dave awkwardly started muttering some kind of theme song that was oddly reminiscent of the Mission Impossibile’s most iconic soundtrack. This guy has a girlfriend, everyone.

“So much for keeping a low profile, Ethan Hunt…” Tim joked.

Dana’s room, following the usual   “average american house tropes” that the writer of this story grew up with in the 90s, was on the second floor. Luckily, the house was empty, so both Tim and Dave could easily climb it without fearing of someone noticing their totally legal actions.

“Look at Tim, such a rebel! Such a fast climber!” Dave whispered, noticing how good Tim was at climbing the girl’s house.

“Thanks. I learned it when I visited your mom.” he joked.

“I thought you’d prefer my dad, you know.” Dave played along, with a rather noticeable reference to Tim’s homosexuality.

“Just… just let’s get done with this.”  

After some awkward climbing, the two found themselves in front of a window leading to Dana’s room. The duo was sitting on a small portion of slanted roof, wondering how to get inside.

“Alright. I could just punch through the window and open it. But you know I don’t like violence against windows.” Dave said, somewhat joking, but really trying to come up with a way to get through this final obstacle.

“Never mind, it’s open.” Tim said, as his hand passed right through the window.   “Or, you know, I got ghost powers all of the sudden, but I doubt it.”

“You’re so funny I forgot to laugh.” Dave commented, as he got inside his girlfriend’s room, making sure no one was there, immediately followed by his sassy friend.

The room was fairly big and messy, books and magazines scattered all around the floor and the bed. Dana was a busy woman: she got a degree in economics but, given the tough times, she had troubles finding a decent job lately. Dave actually suspected that this was the reason she was being nervous about, well, everything, understandably.

“Why don’t you just ask her instead of acting like the perfect boyfriend material that you are?” Tim stated, in his usual snarky tone, noticing Dave basically rummaging through Dana’s more personal stuff.

“Just… let me do my thing ok?” he was serious again, trying to find something that could be clue, deep down knowing that all of that was quite non-sense and even ridiculous, but his stubbornness was showing.   “Wait…”

Something drew his attention. A red (therefore important, according to Dana’s code) sticky note on the nightstand. Something was written on it.

“Oh… I guess I was right…” Dave whispered, eyes glued on the note.

“Something about her job?”  

But Tim didn’t get an answer, as they heard someone coming from downstairs. They probably were so focused on their mission that didn’t even notice how someone got inside the house minutes after them. They went silent and tried to listen to the person’s footsteps.

“Yeah. I’ll keep you posted.”

They heard a muffled female voice getting closer, probably talking on her phone. A voice that was very familiar.

“Fuck! It’s Dana!” Dave whispered.

The two looked around, looking for a quick solution or a place to hide, blatantly ignoring the window they used to get inside in the first place.

“The closet!” Dave said.

Without even questioning whether this was a good idea or not, the duo sneaked inside Dana’s closet and closed themselves inside just as the girl came into her room, still talking on the phone about something.

Tim and Dave managed to mess things up however, as they ended up in a very small section of that apparently big, spacious closet, so they had to arrange themselves in a weird position. Dave was standing up, towering over Tim, who found himself sitting on the floor instead, right behind his friend… with his face perfectly aligned with his loose jeans butt. As his eyes got adjusted to the dark, Tim started to distinguish the seams and texture’s on Dave’s jeans ass, and the tiny red Levi tag on the right back pocket. He couldn’t help but take a look, which he felt really unnecessary, given the context.

“So… this is where you lived for most of your life…” Dave joked, looking around, as if the closet was some kind of fancy mansion.

“Haha! Another gay joke! Great timing, Dave!” Tim muttered instead. The last thing they had to do was talk.

The two waited for a couple of minutes, hoping that Dana would just leave again or even just go downstairs, so they’d have enough time to get out of there in the hopes that Dave didn’t leave any clue of his presence.

“As long a we remain silent…” Tim whispered.   “We have nothing to worry about.”

Only moments after saying that, he felt a very familiar sound greeting his face. It was a long, rumbling sound coming from Dave’s denim ass. It was one of his usual, well-known loud farts, a fart that he was desperately trying to keep as silent as possible. Luckily, Dana was too busy with her phone to even notice the weird noise coming from inside of her closet.

“Dave! What the fuck?!” Tim hissed.

The gassy friend tried not to laugh, realizing how idiotic the whole situation was.   “I’m sorry dude.” he murmured.   “You know what happens when I’m nervous!”  

The smell was unbearable already. Being in a such small space didn’t certainly help. Those were probably some of the smelliest farts Dave ever managed to rip in Tim’s face, although this time was, against all odds, more like an accident.

“Tim…” Dave whispered, carefully placing his butt closer to his friend’s face.

Another fart erupted, sounding dangerously louder than the previous one. The rough surface of Dave’s denim gently caressed Tim’s nose. The blast of gas then turned into something much more subtle, but still otherwise bubbly. Tim felt his nose burn, as really he had no choice but to breath all of that in.

“Dave I swear. If you don’t stop, Dana’s gonna–”

But another   “slow-paced” rumbly fart cut him off. Dave was seriously trying to contain his well-known farting abilities. Tim, instead, was trying to remain calm, feeling like the Universe was somehow messing with him. That was an insane situation: he certainly wasn’t new to Dave’s farts, but in that context, it felt almost like one of his weird dreams about his fart fetish.

“Tim I’m sorry, at least I know you don’t mind… I hope”

Funnily enough, despite the slightly amused tone in his whispering voice, Dave sounded genuinely sorry. Yet he was right: Tim was insanely enjoying it, but knowing that Dana was out there made the whole thing almost surreal. And, once again, as much as Dave always proved so chill about this stuff, he couldn’t help but feel somehow awkward about having his friend face-farting him so non-chalantly.

And yet another   “ninja” fart was ripped all over his face.   Being nervous really turned Dave’s stomach into a messy cloud of gas, and Tim’s nose was there to vacuum it all up, completely defenseless, standing before the sheer power of the gassy friend’s powerful denim-covered anus.

Even though the situation was absurd, Dave couldn’t help but chuckle a bit. After all, the smell hit him too, and it was getting insane even for the farter himself, whose gas just didn’t stop building up.

“Sorry bro… I have to do this.” he whispered.

Tim felt Dave’s hands gently grabbing the back of his head, holding it still, as he pulled him in the clutches of his denim butt. The warm fabric of the jeans was soaking in that unbearable smell. The sniffer then felt the weight of his gassy friend almost crushing his skull. Despite being dark, Tim realized that Dave was basically sitting on him, using his head as some kind of human stool.

The fart was directly ripped in Tim’s mouth at that point, that rumbly sound once again renewing the already destructive stench. It was supposed to be loud, so loud, that Dave had to basically use his friend’s face to deadpan its impressive thunderous noise. The gassy bro was trying to rip it in the form of a long series, hoping that Dana would fail to hear (or even recognize) his well-known gross, but rather impressive talent.

Tim heard his friend’s sighs of relief after each, rumbling fart, but Dave was also trying not to burst into a laughter that could blow their cover. Fart fetish or not, he couldn’t help but to find it more hilarious than gross.

As much as the lack of space in that closet wouldn’t really allow it, Dave even lifted his right leg a bit, while still   “sitting” on his stool-friend, as a way to facilitate the impressive amount of gas gushing out from his anus. It’s not like he had to worry about Tim passing out or finding it too gross, anyway.

That fart itself was lasting longer than both of them anticipated. They lost count of how much time passed, probably a full minute. Tim’s face was warm and sweaty now, still trapped in the clutches of his gassy bro’s denim butt, directly living in person that thin line between Fart Heaven and Fart Hell.

A final sigh of relief, followed by a louder toot and a chuckle.   “Sorry, bud.” Dave muttered, hoping that his plan worked.

Indeed, Dana didn’t hear a thing. She hung up and left the room, her footsteps slowly turning into a far, muffled sound, until silence announced that the duo was now free to get the heck out of there, especially considering how they were almost both choking on farts.

Tim forgot what fresh, non-fart air felt like in his nostrils and so took a deep, refreshing breath the moment he stepped out of that gas closet. Ironically, Dave did the same, maybe even wondering how would Tim even endure something as overwhelming as his farts, but he didn’t really mind anyway. Despite everything, that was oddly hilarious, as the two stared at each other and then bursted into a laughter.

“Now let’s get out of here…” the farter suggested.

But before the two could even walk towards the window, Dana showed up again in her own room. She didn’t even startle.

“What are you two doing here?” she asked, sounding more like an inquisitive mom than an angry girlfriend. She was fairly mature, after all. “I don’t know what you Dumb and Dumber are up to, but I swear if you–”

“I heard the news, Dana. We were just outside your window…” Dave explained, slightly tweaking the truth. “We wanted to play a stupid scary prank but then I heard it, while you were on the phone you know…”

Dana shook her head and laughed a bit. She hugged her boyfriend and kissed him.

“Yes! I got the job!” she giggled. “Sorry I’ve been so cold lately. The job interview made me so nervous…”

“It’s fine, Dana. You’ve always been stone-cold anyway!” Dave joked, earning a playful slap on his chest by his girlfriend.

“Yes, that’s a very import–wait what’s that smell?” the girl asked, sniffling loudly the air around him.

Tim’s heart almost stopped while Dave did his best to not just laugh like an immature prankster. His hair, clothes, skin, were completely “soaked” in his gassy bro’s gas, so naturally he’d himself smell like flatulence.

“Never mind. It must be you, Dave. He farts like crazy when he’s nervous, Tim, I swear.” she said, disgusted but slightly amused as well.

“Ow… it’s part of my charm, babe.” Dave replied, using what he would have considered an irresistible flirty tone of voice, which was super awkward instead.

“And yeah. Tim’s very aware of my skills, right?” he joked, winking at him, like the big teasing bastard he’s always been since he found out about his fart kink.

Tim just shrugged, faking a disgusted look, his heart racing fast, knowing that all he had to do after that was take the biggest shower in the hope that such unbearable stench didn’t fuse with the atoms in his body.

“Well, it’s gonna be a wild ride!” Dana exulted, happy about her new job offer.

“How about a round of beers to celebrate?” Tim suggested. “It’s on me, no worries.”

“Great idea, but I’m paying. I got the job, you dumb-dumbs get to drink!” Dana replied. She was in a very good mood.

“It’s fine, Dana! It’s the least we can do after-“ but Dave interrupted him.

“Come on Tim, stop living in outdated gender roles and let the pretty girl buy you a drink.” he said, faking a serious tone.

The girlfriend simply rolled her eyes and left the room “Just… meet me downstairs when you’re done saving the world, ok?”

As Dana was nowhere in sight, Dave simply turned to Tim and let another huge, long one rip.

“Shhh. Just tying up some loose ends here.” he said, shushing the gay friend, blasting what was left of his gas out.

“Are you finish-“ “Not yet” he simply said, as if he was making sure no particle of gas was left behind.

With one high pitched final note that was met with some immature laughter, Dave sighed in relief.

“With that said” he chuckled “You might want to take a shower.”

Tim simply nodded with an unamused expression.

“Oh, and you might want to leave the other closet you’ve been hiding.”

That was out of nowhere.

“No pressure bro, just know that we’re all always more than happy to have a beer with you.”

“Thanks Da-“

“Despite your bigoted views on gender roles of course.”

“I’m going to punch you now.”

The duo then headed downstairs and no one got punched luckily.

Tim thought about his friend’s words and how it was probably time to leave that metaphorical stuffy closet soon or later, not that he felt forced or anything.

Dana’s closet, however, that’s probably the only one he enjoyed being trapped into…

End of Episode 9

[bananaofswifts]

Taylor Swift Turns on a Facsimile Machine for the Ingenious Recreations of ‘Fearless (Taylor’s Version)’: Album Review

Swift recreates her entire 2008 album literally down to the last note, then gives herself room for stylistic latitude on six never-before-recorded "vault" tracks.

By Chris Willman

Swift recreates her entire 2008 album literally down to the last note, then gives herself room for stylistic latitude on six never-before-recorded "vault" tracks.

There is no “best actress” award at the Grammys, perhaps for obvious reasons, but maybe there should be this coming year. And the Grammy would go to… Taylor Swift, for so persuasively playing her 18-year-old self in “Fearless (Taylor’s Version),” her beyond-meticulous recreation of the 2008 recording that did win her her first album of the year trophy back in the day. It’s impossible to overstate just how thoroughly the new version is intended as an exact replica of the old — all the way down to her startling ability to recapture an untrained teen singing voice she’s long matured and moved on from. It’s a stunt, to be sure, but a stunt for the ages — mastering the guile it takes to go back to sounding this guileless.

There are two different, very solid reasons to pick up or stream “Taylor’s Version,” regardless of whether you share her ire for the Big Machine label, whose loose ways with her nine-figure catalog precipitated this, the first in a six-album series of remakes where she’ll be turning on the facsimile machine. One is to marvel at her gift for self-mimicry on the album’s original tracks, where she sounds as possessed by her younger self as Regan ever was by Pazuzu. The other reason is, of course, to check out the six “vault” numbers that Swift wrote during that time frame but has never released before in any form, which dispenses with stylistic fealty to the late 2000s and frames her “Fearless”-era discards in production and arrangements closer to “Folklore.” Those half-dozen (kind of) new tracks really do sound like modern Taylor Swift covering her old stuff.

But those original lucky 13? It’s the same damn record… which is kind of hilarious and marvelous and the kind of meta-ness that will inspire a thousand more think-pieces than it already has, along with possibly efforts at forensic analysis to figure out how she did it.

It would not be surprising if, as we speak, Big Machine was putting a combined team of scientists and lawyers on the case of the new album’s waveform readouts, to make sure it’s not just the original album, remixed. Honestly, it’s that close. The timings of the songs are all within a few seconds of the original tracks, if not coming in at exactly the same length. The duplication effort doesn’t allow any detours. If “Forever and Always” had a cold open then, it’s going to have a cold open now. If the 2008 “That’s the Way I Love You” had slamming rock guitars with an almost subliminal banjo being plucked beneath the racket, so will the 2021 “That’s the Way I Loved You.” A drum roll to end the old “Change”? A drum roll to end its body-snatcher doppelganger. And if she chuckled before the final chorus of “Hey Stephen” 13 years ago, so will that moment be cause for a delighted giggle now.

Of course, much analysis will be put into whether the new laugh is a more knowing-sounding laugh. And that will be part of the fun for a certain segment of audiophile Swifties who will go looking for the slightest change as evidence of something meaningful. When “Love Story (Taylor’s Version)” first came out weeks back to preview the album, there were reviews written that swore she’d subtly changed up her phrasing to put a contemporary spin on the song. And maybe they were right, but, having done a fair amount of A/B testing of the two versions of the album, I found myself feeling like I do when vinyl buffs insist there are significant sonic differences between the first stamper version of an LP and one that was pressed a year later. If you can spot those very, very, very modest tweaks, go for it.

But my suspicion is that if Swift has decided to turn a phrase a little differently here or there on this album, or done anything too differently aside from brighten the sound, she’s doing it more as an Easter egg, for the people who are on that kind of hunt, than anything really designed as reinterpretation. Because the last thing Swift wants most of her fans doing is A/B-ing the two versions, the way I did. The whole point is to have folks retire the OG “Fearless” from their Spotify playlists, right? The Swift faithful were already threatening to rain down damnation on anyone caught sneaking an audio peek at the old version after midnight. What she intended was to come up with a rendering so faithful that you would never have a need to spin the vintage album again. In that, she has succeeded beyond what could have been imagined even in the dreams of the few self-forgers who’ve tried this before, like a Jeff Lynne.

Is there any reason to find value in the new versions if you couldn’t care less about the issues of masters and contracts and respect in business deals that made all this strangely possible? Yes, with the first one being that the new album just sounds like a terrific remastering of the old — the same notes, and you’d swear the same performances, but sounding brighter and punchier just on a surface level. But on a more philosophical one, it’s not just a case of Swift playing with her back catalog like Andy Warhol played with his soup can. It’s really a triumph of self-knowledge and self-awareness, in the way that Swift is so hyper-conscious of the ways she’s matured that she has the ability to un-mature before our very ears. With her vocals, it’s virtuosic, in a way, how she’s made herself return to her unvirtuosic upstart self.

On Swift’s earliest albums and in those seminal live shows — at the time when she was famously being told she “can’t sing,” to quote a song from the follow-up album — there was a slight shrillness around the edges of her voice that, if you lacked faith, you might’ve imaged would be there forever. It wasn’t. That was partly youth, and partly just the sheer earnestness with which she wanted to convey the honesty of the songs. She’s advanced so much since then — into one of pop’s most gifted modern singers, really — that the woman of “Folklore” and “Evermore” seems like a completely different human being than the one who made the self-titled debut and “Fearless,” never mind just a woman versus girl. It wouldn’t have seemed possible that she could go back to her old way of singing at the accomplished age of 31, but she found and recreated that nervous, sincere, pleading voice of yesteryear. And maybe it was just a technical feat, of temporarily unlearning what she’s learned since then, but you can sense that maybe she had to go there internally, too, to the place where she was counseling other girls to guard their sexual virtue in “Fifteen,” or wondering whether to believe the fairy tale of “Love Story” or the wakeup call of “White Horse,” or proving with “Forever & Always” that writing a song telling off Joe Jonas for his 27-second breakup call was better than revenge.

If at first you’re not inclined to notice that Swift has re-adopted a completely different singing voice for the “Fearless” remakes, the realization may kick in when those “vault” tracks start appearing in the later stretch of this hour-and-50-minute album. The writing on the six songs that have been pulled up from the 2008 cutting room floor seems primitive, even a little bit by the standards of the “Fearless” album; there are great lines and couplets throughout the rescued tracks, but you can see why she left them as works-in-progress. But she doesn’t use her youthful voice on these resurrections, nor does she employ the actual style of “Fearless” very strictly. Of course, she feels more freedom on these, because there are no predecessors in the Big Machine catalog she’s asking you to leave behind. Her current collaborators of choice, Jack Antonoff and Aaron Dessner, divided the co-producing work on these fresher songs, as they did for the two all-new albums she released in the last year. (The “Fearless” recreations are co-produced by Swift with Christopher Rowe, someone who worked on remixes for Swift back in that era.) They co-produce the vault songs in a style that sounds somewhere between “Fearless” and Folklore”… a more spectral brand of country-pop, with flutes and synths and ringing 12-string guitars and a modicum of drum programming replacing some (but not all) of the acoustic stringed instruments you’d expect to be carried over from “Fearless” proper.

Of the previously unheard tracks, Swift was right — she’s always been her own best self-editor — in putting out “You All Over Me” first, in advance of the album. With its imagery of half-muddy stones being upturned on the road, this song has advanced lyrical conceits more of a piece with the level of writing she’s doing now than some of the slightly less precocious songs that follow. Still, there’s something to be said for the sheer zippiness with which Swift conveys teen heartbreak in “Mr. Perfectly Fine,” which has a lyric that shows Swift had long since absorbed the lessons Nashville had to offer about how to come up with a high-concept song — the concept, in this case, being just to stick the word “mister” in front of a lot of phrases relating to her shallow ex, as if they were honorary titles to be conferred for being a shit, while she employs the “miss” for herself more sparingly.

Some of the remaining outtake songs go back more toward the sedate side of “Fearless”-style material; she didn’t leave any real bangers in the can. “We Were Happy,” the first of two successive tracks to bring in Keith Urban (but only for backgrounds on this one), employs fake strings and real cello as Swift waxes nostalgic for a time when “you threw your arms around my neck, back when I deserved it.” It’s funny, in a good way, to hear Swift at 31 recreating a song she wrote at 17 or 18 that pined for long-past better times. The next song, “That’s When,” brings Urban in for a proper duet where he gets a whole second verse and featured status on half a chorus, and it’s lovely to hear them together. But, as a make-up song, it doesn’t feel as real or lived-in as the more personal things she was writing at the time — and the fact that its chords are pretty close to a slightly more balladic version of the superior “You Belong With Me” was probably a pretty good reason for dropping it at the time.

the 18-year-old Taylor Swift is a great place to visit, but “Folklore” and “Evermore” are the place you’ll want to return to and live, unless you have an especially strong sentimental attachment to “Fearless”… which, sure, half of young America does. It’s not irreconcilable to say that the two albums she issued in the last year represent a daring pinnacle of her career, but that “Fearless” deserved to win album of the year in 2008. Has there been a greater pop single in the 20th century than “You Belong With Me”? Probably not. Did the album also have lesser moments you probably haven’t thought about in a while, like the just-okay “Breathe”? Yes. (I looked up to see whether Swift had ever played that little remarked upon number in concert, and according to setlists.fm, she did, exactly once… in 2018. Because she’s Taylor Swift, and of course she did.) It’s not certain that her duet with Colbie Caillat really needed to be resurrected, except it’s fun, because hey, she even roped former duet partners back into her time warp. But there are so many number that have stood the test of time, like “The Way I Love You,” an early song that really got at the complicated feelings about passion and fidelity that she would come to explore more as she grew into her 20s… and just kind of a headbanger, too, on an album that does love its fiddles and mandolins.

It doesn’t take much to wonder why Swift put up “Fearless” first in this six-album exercise; it’s one of her two biggest albums, along with “1989,” and it’s 13 years old, which does mean something superstitious in the Taylor-verse. In a way, it’ll be more interesting to see what happens when she gets to more complicated productions, like “1989” or “Reputation.” But maybe “Fearless” did present the opportunity for the grandest experiment out of the gate: to recreate something that pure and heartfelt, with all the meticulousness a studio master like Swift can put to that process now, without having it seem like she’s faking sincerity. Let the think-pieces proceed — because this is about six hundred different shades of meta. But, all craftiness and calculation aside, there’s a sweetness to the regression that’s not inconsequential. It harks back to a time when she only wondered if she could be fearless, before she learned it the harder way for sure. What they say about actors “disappearing into the role”? That really applies to Taylor Swift, playing herself.

[rotshop]

shout out to my friends for making it so whenever i see someone openly gushing abt a character i know a lot about i gain violence /pos

so,,,y'know y'know i guess

There was a certain peace night held. While you were acutely aware that nothing big really changed from day and night, it felt far more comforting for one reason or another. Part of you wanted to insist it should be the other way around, given the night would've been the perfect opportunity to catch you and the others off guard. Maybe that's why you always seemed to insist on taking the watch.

It felt a bit embarrassing that your job was fueled by paranoia rather than dedication but it was the only real way you knew to soothe that anxious part of your mind. Additionally, it also meant between missions and these late shifts you didn't get all too much sleep. You never said too much about it, walking it off as best as you could until you could either actually get some rest or just passed out. It was a good 50/50 on that last bit.

While you were able to ignore it for the most part, Hank wasn't. While you had been able to run for a good amount of time even in a sleep deprived state, he was well aware that wouldn't last long. He could tell from how you would be noticeably less quick on the draw and would have to fight to even stay upright on nights you'd got little to no rest. While he'd hold his tongue on the matter whenever you were both out and about, he would try his best to encourage you to get some kind of sleep.

Of course, that also had a 50/50 chance of working. If you were back early enough then you would relent and lay down for a few hours, waking up right as night struck. If you got back later, you would give him a smile and say you would when you got the chance before walking off to your post for the night. He'd been lenient at first, he could tell that it was more than just you not feeling like sleeping and he didn't want to force anything. Eventually though, he had to take a step up.

It'd been a particularly long day without any real time for you to sleep. The mission had been drawn out, frustrating, and didn't even yield much in the end. To say it was a little bit bitter was an understatement. By the time you got back, the sun was already well down, meaning you didn't have any time to play catch-up with your sleep schedule.

You'd muttered something under your breath, not entirely pleased with the situation before getting picked up. It'd taken your mind a quick second or two to really even register the feeling, making you blank for a moment. When you'd snapped back you could tell Hank had thrown you over his shoulder (seemingly effortlessly) and was dragging you off..somewhere.

"Wh- Hey! Put me down, I gotta g-" you were cut off by him tightening his grip on you in a wordless answer. 'No, you don't.'

You wanted to argue with him further on the matter but you knew him well enough to know that'd go nowhere. He was stubborn and changing his mind (especially on matters like this) never really seemed to work out. You could see Deimos snicker and wave to you, sing-songing some little 'Goodnight!' as he called after you. You could see him double over in laughter when you'd deadpanned and flipped him off, much to your chagrin.

It didn't take long for you to realize Hank had carried you off to your room, eyes straining a bit to adjust in the dark. He'd finally tossed you back down onto your bed, allowing you some kind of freedom. A stubborn part of you wanted to try and make some effort to either just bolt for it now or sneak out later, if it weren't for the fact you knew he would notice within seconds. So, with a small sigh you'd laid back, resigning to your fate.

"Thanks," you'd breathed out quietly. As much as part of you really didn't want to lay down in dread of what might happen, another was glad he'd went ahead and did this for you.

You'd expected to hear him leave as you closed your eyes, which was why you were caught off guard to feel the bed shift a bit. You'd opened your eyes once more to look at the source of the added weight, seeing Hank sitting down on the edge of your bed.

"Did you..need something?" You'd half-awkwardly spoke up once more.

You could see him shake his head before he looked back at you over his shoulder, raising his hands to sign. 'Making sure you don't sneak off. Just get some rest.'

You knew distantly it was more than just that, more than just some detached concern. Regardless, you'd only rolled your eyes and gave a little 'yeah yeah' in response before closing your eyes once more. It didn't take long for you to feel consciousness slip out of your grip, showing just how deprived you'd been of this. Distantly you could feel a rough hand rest on your arm, thumb brushing over the skin delicately, joined with a small 'Sleep well.'

The night was peaceful.

[broadstflyers]

A/N: Hello everyone! This is my first ever fic! It's really just an idea I've had for months, and then wrote, and then couldn't figure out which hockey boy it fit, until some mutuals were kind enough to help. I settled on our boy Barzy! It's inspired by Taylor Swift's "Gold Rush", and I really wanted to do my best in reflecting the beautiful imagery this story creates for me. I hope I did it justice. It's a little terrifying putting my writing out there, but I hope people enjoy it!

Word count: 3.4k

Warnings: Two curse words, it's really just internal conflict within the reader

Summary: You're celebrating your dad's 50th birthday with some friends and family at a dinner party. You happen to land your eyes on a beautiful stranger, who you can't seem to get out of your head. You spend the rest of the night wondering, should you go up to him?

Or do you let him walk out the door?

___________

They say when you first lay eyes on your soulmate, time stands completely still. As you gaze into their eyes, it feels as though you’ve known them for multiple lifetimes. It feels like home. Is that even remotely true?

You start to take a sip of your drink and turn your head slightly to take in your surroundings. Your eyes dance around the room, until they stumble upon another pair of wondering eyes. Your eyes lock, and you’re instantly sucked into the mysterious yet intriguing twinkling grey-blue color that compliments his navy blue suit. Suddenly, your breath hitches in your throat, every part of your body stiffens, except for your lips that part slightly and eyes that widen. The drink is long forgotten, you’re even struggling to keep it from practically falling out of your hands and onto the wooden floor. The party is now just a blur, the noise? What noise? The world is muffled, as if someone stuck your head into a hundred pillows. Images stream through your mind like an endless movie reel wrapped in shimmery gold. Endless laughter on a first date over coffee. Him rubbing the back of your hand as you take a stroll through the park. Holiday mornings, exchanging gifts. Would he participate in the tradition of opening small gifts first, or would he want the biggest gift right off the bat? Ice skating and him catching you as you stumble on a pesky track in the ice. Him tossing you into the pool while you’re trying to put up a fight in a losing battle. A sweet and quiet proposal where he promises his forever love. A kiss at the altar in front of all your friends and family. Chasing after rambunctious little kids trying to get them to nap. All these gold dripping images of a pure love plow through your brain. Your heart is the unmovable object. They are the unstoppable force.

You and him only shared a look for what was probably half a second, but the thick air that seemed to only be affecting you made time feel like it stood completely still.

You burst back into reality with the help of a slight head shake. “Woah,” you quietly whisper. You blink a few times and finally get around to taking a sip of your drink to quench your parched throat. Did you just see a whole future...with a stranger?

“Hey, are you okay?” Stella asks. Her hand gently touches your arm as she cocks her head to the side. Her brows are furrowed in what can only be described as pure confusion. Did you really space out that badly as she was talking? What were you guys even talking about?

“Oh,” you say as you gently shake your head, “yeah.” You chuckle, “yeah, I’m just fine.” You wait a beat then say, “Hey, I’m going to use the bathroom really quickly, okay?”

“Sure thing,” she nods. “Do you need me to come with?”

“I’m totally fine, I promise,” you reassure with every bone in your body while giving her your drink. You really just needed to be alone to calm your racing mind that has now turned a complete stranger into a romantic interest with the power of a golden montage.

You make your way over to the exit of the dining hall and push the creaky open with your shoulder, and the amount of force you had to use honestly hurt. Your heels click down the tiled hallway of the golf club to find the bathroom door. The rectangular bathroom mirror framed in an intricate gold design holds your reflection. You slightly tilt your head as you take a look at your face. It’s like someone took the color of a clown nose and colored in your face with it. Jeez. You shake your head and sigh. This isn’t good, and deep down, you know that. You hate when you’re like this, all flustered over someone who just happened to lock eyes with you. His eyes. They were gleaming and just all around beautiful. What were you thinking again?

Oh, right.

Well, it’s pretty obvious he has this power over you, and you don’t like that. Now is your face going to become red everytime you see him? You check your phone. There’s still two hours left, plenty of time to possibly see him again. You can’t tell if that’s necessarily a good or bad thing.

You pace around the bathroom trying to reason with your begging heart. He was pretty good looking, which means that so many people naturally want him. Who was he even talking to, anyways? You gasp and stop in your tracks, blood running cold. “He was talking to a girl,” you mumble. You’d be lying if you said you didn’t sound completely and utterly crushed. In the heat of the moment, you completely failed to realize the blonde standing next to him. You lean over the counter, the cold marble feeling on your arms making your arms break out in goosebumps. You take one last stern look in the mirror at your face. “See, this is why we can’t allow ourselves to fall that hard,” you whisper angrily, “everyone wants him, and I just...I don’t like a gold rush like that.” You shake your head again and take one last deep breath to shake out any other thoughts. You can see yourself standing barefooted at the bottom of a hole looking astounded at how tall the walls have grown, and how distant the light looks. It feels like you soared lightheartedly into the sky, just to fall and crush every bone in your body.

You roll your eyes to yourself while slightly cursing yourself out. Pushing the bathroom door open, you step out into the hallway and make a beeline back for the dining hall. Your purse starts spastically vibrating, so you hastily fish your phone out to put an end to the obnoxious noise. Scanning the text, you read that your mom is asking where you went, as the cake for your dad’s birthday is going to be cut soon. You sigh as you text, “I’m hurrying back now.”

That’s all you see before you feel a slight brush tickle your bare shoulder. Your eyes don’t dare move from your phone screen. You reason that it’s not someone you know, as they would have said something to you. Your hands shake as you put your phone back in your purse.

“Oh, sorry,” the voice trails off as he continues to walk down the hallway after he brushed up against you.

“It’s okay,” you whisper, without turning around, which is admittedly ridiculous.

As soon as you can judge his footsteps are far away enough, you make a quick glance behind to see if it really was him. And judging by the navy blue suit, it was.

Suddenly, the golden montage flows through your mind once more, showing an image of yourself wearing an old shirt of his, maybe one from when he was in high school for whatever sport he played, if he played one. Your feet feel the coolness of the wooden floor of the supposed home. The home both of you share? It’s so tangible, so real that you almost reach out to touch it. It’s right there...

Your head jerks yourself out of the vision once more, or rather the fact that you’re now faced with a white wall in front of you. You sigh a long frustrated sigh. I can’t believe I really walked by the entrance, how embarrassing, you think as you turn on your heels to backtrack. Why does this stranger have you so wrapped around his finger? No one else has been able to even come close to doing that. You feel your face with your hand, and it’s burning. I’ll go in there looking like a tomato, it’s fine.

You do your best to quite literally shake off those thoughts as you push open the dining room hall door. “There you are!” your mom says. “We’ve been looking everywhere for you. Come on, we’re going to sing happy birthday to Dad.”

“Can’t wait,” you beam. After all, your dad only turns 50 once, and this night is about him, afterall. You follow your mom to a table with a white tablecloth resting on it.

Stella pops out from behind your dad to approach you and whispers, “Are you sure you’re okay?”

You resist the urge to gently shove her in front of everyone. “Yes,” you pleadingly insist, “now stop asking me in front of Mom and Dad, they’ll think something is wrong.”

She side eyes you with an attitude. “Fine.”

“They’re my girls,” your dad says with a smile.

You and Stella laugh while leaning into him for a quick hug. “Hey dad,” you both say in unison.

The room completely dies down, people could hear a pin drop. “Ready?” your mom asks the guests. The room takes a collective deep breath.

And so the melody of Happy Birthday rings joyously through the hall, you can see the mystery stranger out of the corner of your eye. Heat radiates off your skin, it’s almost like you can feel his eyes boring into you. It takes all the willpower you can muster, but you resist the temptation to look over at him all throughout the song.

When the song is over, the room breaks out into obnoxiously loud clapping. You, Stella, and your parents share loving looks and warm smiles.

Eventually, everyone proceeds to return to normal chatter at the one rectangular table of two that they’re sitting at, and so do you, Stella and your parents.

You pull out your seat next to your sister near the middle of the middle of the table and sit, fixing your dress.

“Ahem,” Stella says in an ill attempt to cover her suspiciousness with a clearing throat noise. Queue whatever accusatory question she’s got.

“Let me just set something straight,” she starts.

“Go for it,” you say as you reach for some water.

“It’s definitely that guy a few seats down, isn’t it?” She smirks. She’s got you trapped in her little web, and she knows it.

You may or may not have fought back choking on your water or pulling a ridiculous spit take on the nice white table cloth.

You lean in and harshly whisper, “Well you didn’t have to say it that loudly.” You glance over at the mystery stranger and see his hand wrapped around his glass as he goes to drink it. He has a thick silver ring on his pointer finger?

“Hello?” Stella shifts her head to selfishly cut off your view of him.

“Okay,” you sigh in defeat, “yes it’s him. Happy?”

“Very,” she says, very satisfied because she finally pried it out of you and got you to admit it. Someone else has you wrapped around their finger. She didn’t even have to know all the details of the montages to know. She could tell by the way your eyes glossed over and how your lips would slightly part like you were in a hazy daydream.

And you were.

“Who is he anyway? And why don’t we know him?” You ask.

“I don’t know, honestly. A little strange, isn’t it? Why don’t you ask mom who he is?” She suggests, but her cheshire smile suggests that she will somehow find out, with or without your mom’s help.

“But mom’s going to absolutely harass me until I say something to him. Just you on my tail is enough,” you say with an eyebrow raised as to say ‘don’t test me.’ And Stella knows you’re right.

“Alright, fine,” she concedes, “But why don’t you, I don’t know, talk to him?”

“I did,” you nonchalantly float.

Her eyes widen and her mouth forms an “O” from disbelief. Did you really not talk to people that much?

“Really?” she practically squeals.

“Yeah, he brushed by me and said, ‘Sorry’ so I said, ‘It’s okay.’” Okay, now you get why your friends and family get mad at you for refusing to talk to people. But cracking this joke was one you could not pass up.

Her face scrunches up and she exhibits the biggest eye roll you have ever seen. She opens her mouth to start saying something, probably to scold at you, but you open your mouth to cut her off first.

“Alright no, I haven’t. And do you know why?” As you’re about to get your thought out, you’re interrupted by a fit of laughter down the stretch of the table. Your eyes scan but freeze on the stranger, whose nose is adorably scrunched up as he laughs with multiple, yes multiple, people about goodness knows what. And there’s that other blonde that you still don’t know, laughing with him. You tear your stare away and focus back on your sister.

“Look, that right there. That’s why,” you say, anger burning through your chest.

Stella raises an eyebrow in her own judgemental manner. “He talks to people? You know people do that right?”

Now it’s your turn to return the favor of a judgemental eye roll. “No, Stella, I mean just look at him and the people he’s surrounded by. It’s so obvious that everyone wants him. Just look at that girl with him. I’m not the only one who wants to love him.”

Silence ensues between you two. She picks up her phone and shoots a quick text. After a moment she says, “Well, I think if you just talked to him, you’d be pleasantly surprised with what could happen. I have to help mom with distributing gift bags. You stay here,” she instructs.

You can only assume you’re not being called to help because Stella graciously told your mom that you’re potentially working up the courage to talk to someone that’s not one of your three friends or your family. How generous of her.

A few friends of your dad stop by your seat to say goodbye before they head out. The noise slightly dies down enough to scarcely hear some other conversations. You hear nothing out of the ordinary, just a girl talking about getting into her dream school to some guy. Your ears slightly move as you pick up on a voice that sounds like the one in the hallway earlier.

“Yeah dude, but did you see the fake out on the goalie on the second goal? That had to have been the best part.”

Out of instinct you open your mouth to interject, but quickly shut it and put it under lock and key. You blink in disbelief. Hockey? Did this man just speak on hockey?

You circle the rim of the coffee cup and stare at the brown liquid. In a different universe…

In a different universe you would have actually kept your mouth open, and maybe even squeezed some words out, too.

“Actually, that seamless stretch pass down the neutral zone from the defenseman after a pretty difficult forecheck set up the play pretty well. I’d give him a lot of credit, too.”

He’d probably look a little shocked, as do most guys when you interject your two-sense about hockey. But maybe he’d break out into a small smile and offer a rebuttal. Yeah, that sounds nice. Maybe one day…

Maybe one day you’ll be sitting next to him on the couch, watching a game while cuddling and brushing the hair out of his face. Oh who are you kidding, you’ll be up and screaming at the TV. It’s your staple.

A noise of someone dropping something behind you slightly startles you and pulls you out of your once again golden daydream. You finally stop mindlessly circling the rim of your coffee cup to take a sip, but only to find it’s now ice cold.

This is why you hate looking through a pair of rose colored glasses. It distracts you from enjoying things. You glance over at your dad who’s still talking to one of his good friends that lingered after festivities. You’re supposed to be celebrating him right now, but instead you’re literally stuck in this cursedly pure golden daydream that is almost too good to break.

You can see him. He’s still there, at the end of the table, chatting away with some dude. The blonde left at some point, though.

“Well, I gotta head out, man, good to see you. My sister needs help with packing her stuff for college tomorrow, so we’ve got a busy day coming up.”

Could that girl have been his sister?

“Congratulations to her on getting into her dream school by the way,” the guy says. “I talked to her when she was here earlier, and she seemed super excited.”

A wave of cool relief washes over your body, remembering the conversation about college you picked up on earlier. It was his sister.

“Yeah she is, she worked really hard, and it also involved a whole lot of crying,” he chuckles.

Ain’t that right, you think to yourself.

The table shakes as he pushes out of his chair. Your eyes remain glued to your coffee cup no matter how much you want them to move. You just can’t gather the courage to say something, and you’re cursing yourself for it. You don’t want to sit here and dream about him anymore. You want to actually let these things happen, for once. You want to just unleash all these swirling and sickeningly sweet emotions from your body and drown him in it. You want so badly to leap up and say something, anything. Step on those voices taunting you and mocking you saying that it could never happen, it could never be so it will never be. He’s so inviting that you can’t resist any longer. You go to reach out to him, but the door shuts before you know it.

And just as fleeting as he came,

He’s gone.

Fuck. It feels as though a brick is sitting on your chest, suffocating you. You really let your worries control you, and this time it feels as though you’re going to regret it for the rest of your life. You just can’t believe you let it happen when your mind was begging you to talk to him. You always do-

“Shit,” you mumble. In your frustration, you knocked over the remnants of the coffee onto the not-so-white-anymore table cloth. Tears prickle up in your eyes, your throat closes, and your nose begins to sting. You quickly swallow these emotions down your throat and begin to use a napkin to soak up the excess coffee. Drinks have really not been your friend tonight.

For the first time, you notice as you clean that it’s just you left in the room, besides a few people cleaning up on the other end. You’re not sure where your family has gone, but you haven’t received any texts prompting you to leave yet. It’s so silent that you can hear some muffled chatter down the hall.

Suddenly, you hear the same creak of the door open with an “oof” that doesn’t quite sound like your dad. Your blood runs cold and you freeze mid press into the tablecloth. You glance up without turning around to see a lone jacket hanging on a chair suspiciously close to the chair he previously sat in. Your eyes widen and dart around the room, but you dare not move, waiting to see what he does. Even after cursing yourself out for ten minutes while cleaning up spilled coffee, you still haven’t learned to make the first move. His presence feels like a forcefield, you can feel it heavily pressing into your back.

But he isn’t moving to grab the jacket, no.

A pointer finger with a silver ring taps your shoulder.

“Hey,” the clarity of his voice rings in your ears like a bell. Your heart is racing so fast that it feels like it’s going to burst out of your rib cage and run its own 10k. You slowly crank your head around to meet his eyes for the first time-- face to face.

And you must say, his face is really pretty when you actually talk to him face to face. Maybe you should do this more often. You take in his golden features, and struggle to hide a small smirk creeping up on your face. His messy hair falls perfectly into place on his head, and his kind face makes you feel as though a mess of metallic gold swirls are playfully swirling and dashing around you both. You’ve found him in this lifetime.

“I’m Mat, can I help you clean up before I grab my jacket?”

[grailfinders]

Fate and Phantasms #198

Happy New Year! (If it is not new years, please disregard.) Today we're crossing into the 2020 servants; hopefully this build makes that clear.

Today we're building Katsushika Hokusai, the daughter/fatheroctopus painter duo, most famous for... waves? And also making a deal with Cthulhu. We're grabbing some levels in Creation Bard for the former, and Hexblade Warlock for the latter. Don't worry, it'll make sense as we go.

Check out their build breakdown below the cut, or their character sheet over here!

Next up:

Race and Background

Oui is a Human. Her dad's an octopus, which is weird, but we'll deal with that later. Also, we're making her a variant human for cool stuff. She gets +1 Wisdom and Charisma, as well as Animal Handling proficiency to get along with her parents and the Magic Initiate feat, which uses her Wisdom to cast druid spells. Since magical paintbrushes aren't an official weapon in D&D 5e, we'll call it a quarterstaff instead, which means you can use Shillelagh to make it fancy and magical for the duration. It also turns the damage die into a d8, deals magical damage, and uses your wisdom instead of strength to hit things and deal damage. You also get Frostbite to splash cold water on people, and Protection from Evil and Good. You can cast that last one once a day for free, and it'll protect you against aberrations (plus celestials, elementals, fey, fiends, and undead) for ten minutes with concentration. They'll have disadvantage to hit you, and they cant' charm, frighten, or possess you, and any existing effects of that ilk you can shake off with advantage. No spoilers, but that'll come in handy soon enough.

You also get the Guild Artisan background, because you paint for money. That gives you Insight and Persuasion proficiency.

Ability Scores

Make your Charisma as high as possible. You paint good, and you have the mental fortitude to keep an elder god from yeeting your soul from your body. Good job. Second highest is Dexterity, painting lifesized waves in the air around you doesn't actually need all the backflips, you just like to show off. Your Wisdom is also pretty good, it's hard to paint things you can't see well, and again that whole "mental fortitude" thing. Your Constitution is pretty good, you handle all-nighters pretty well. That means your Strength isn't great, but we're dumping Intelligence. You're kind of a hick, after all. Plus, really? Swordbeauties?

Class Levels

Bard 1: You weren't born with the squid powers, so we'll grab those up a bit later. Right now you're just a plucky young artist with a dream. As a bard, you get proficiency with Dexterity and Charisma saves, as well as three skills of your choice. Performance and Nature will help you paint nature, and Arcana will help you find the squid guy in the first place. You get Bardic Inspiration, Charisma Modifier d6s per long rest, and you can give one to your allies to boost one attack, check, or save by however much they roll. Nothing like some tasteful nudes to get the spirits up. You also get Spells that you can cast using your Charisma. Friends makes it easier to pass charisma checks against a creature for a minute, but they'll know you magicked them afterwards. Thankfully, getting paid doesn't take that long. Minor Illusion helps you bring your paintings to life, but just a little bit. It'll create a still object or sound that lasts for up to a minute. Creatures can tell it's an illusion with an investigation check, or by touching it. You also get Animal Friendship- your dad can be hard to get along with. Color Spray weaponizes your paints to blind creatures in the area, and Illusory Script lets you write one thing, but really write another. I'm sure you can argue this should count for paintings as well. Oh, you also get Dissonant Whispers. You're a Foreigner, you can be a little creepy if ya wanna.

Bard 2: Second level bards become a Jack of All Trades, adding half their proficiency to skill checks they aren't proficient in. You're an anime character, it's an unwritten rule you should be good at everything. You also get a Song of Rest, adding a d6 to healing your party does over a short rest. On top of that, your bardic inspiration becomes Magical Inspiration, letting your allies add it to the damage or healing of a spell. Finally, grab the spell Silent Image for moving images, so now you can paint birds and/or waves and have them look just like the real thing. Now, third level of bard is where things start getting funky, so before we can do that, let's make a deal.

Warlock 1: Bouncing over to warlock lets you become a Hexblade, which sounds kind of weird, but there's a reason for that. You don't do weird mind stuff like the GOOlocks, and you don't really use Tentacles like the Fathomlocks. What you do need though, is a fancy magic brush, and a fancy magic octopus. There isn't a familiar-based subclass yet, so we had to go with the weapon-based one, and we'll pick up your dad later. Anyways, starting off as a Hexblade lets you invoke a Hexblade's Curse as a bonus action, dealing your proficiency in extra damage to the cursed creature, crit on 19s, and heal yourself when the cursed creature dies. The curse lasts 1 minute, and you can use this once per short rest. Hokusai also become a Hex Warrior, turning one non-two-handed weapon into a special weapon at the end of a long rest. Now your brush uses your Charisma to attack, nice. Unfortunately, this doesn't include magical damage, but you can stack this with Shillelagh if you really need to. You also get another set of spells with your Pact Magic. These slots recharge on short rests, and it means your multiclassing doesn't mix slots like most spellcasting classes would. You can still use one kind of slot to cast the other kind of spells though. Speaking of spells, grab Eldritch Blast for some paint splashes, and Mage Hand for a pseudo-octopus that'll grab things for you. Cause Fear lets you paint a really creepy thing one target can see, forcing a wisdom save and scaring them if they fail. Arms of Hadar will give you a little bit of tentacles, as a treat. They'll force a strength save on creatures near you, dealing necrotic damage and making them too gooey to take reactions.

Warlock 2: Second level warlocks get Eldritch Invocations, mini-feats to help you cope with only having two spell slots. Grab Armor of Shadows for free Mage Armor on yourself at will. Your family is your armor, and I mean that literally. Stop wearing your dad, it's creepy. You also get a second one, but we're saving that for the next level. Don't not take one now though, I'm just saying it won't matter in the long run.

Bard 3: Now that your pact is sealed, we can get the real living paintings going. If you're thinking 'bout an inking feel free to shuffle levels around, I just want to hit Font of Inspiration quickly. As a Creation bard, Hokusai gets an Inkling of Potential, adding extra effects to her bardic inspiration. Ability checks let the user roll twice, attack rolls deal extra thunder damage, and saving throws add temporary HP to the user. She can also enact the Performance of Creation, creating a nonmagical item nearby. Currently it must cost less than 20 times your bard level, and it has to be medium or smaller. You can do this once per long rest, or by spending a 2nd level slot, but doing so destroys the first object if it still exists. Right now this only makes medium objects, but a 5' wave of water is nothing to sneeze at. You also get Expertise in two skills, doubling your proficiency them. Pick up Insight and Performance for the ultimate style-copying skills. Finally, you get second level spells. We can't focus too much on non-charisma abilities, but this'll give you a leg up on seeing the true nature of things. It gives you advantage on any one kind of ability check for up to a minute.

Bard 4: Use your first Ability Score Improvement to bump up your Charisma. Now you have more inspiration, better spells, and a bigger brush. Charisma's good, you'll like charisma. You can also paint Dancing Lights and a Phantasmal Force now. The former lights up an area, the latter creates a phantasmal creature or object that only one creature can see for up to a minute. It can break the illusion with an Investigation check, but until then it treats the thing as completely real, rationalizing away inconsistencies. It also can take a bit of psychic damage if the illusion would cause harm within 5' of itself.

Bard 5: Fifth level bards become a Font of Inspiration like we talked about earlier, giving you inspiration recharges on short rests instead of long ones. Your inspiration also jumps to d8s. Finally, grab Major Image for more major illusions than minor image. It creates an object up to 20' on each side, and includes effects like sound, smell, and temperature, as long as they wouldn't deal damage. You can also move the illusion using your action. Same rules apply to breaking it though- investigation check or just touching it.

Warlock 3: Finally back in warlock, you get your pact boon, and the Pact of the Chain gives you Find Familiar as a ritual, and you can skip your own attack to attack with your familiar. Wildly enough, Octopus is already a rules as written option for Find Familiar. Awkward point; octopi can only be out of water for 30 minutes. Good luck with that! On top of that, Mirror Image lets you paint duplicates of yourself, making it harder to hit you. Boom, evade skill achieved. You get three extra copies, and every time you get hit, there's only a 25% chance of actually hitting the real one. If an illusion gets hit, it's destroyed, so the odds go up to 33%, then 50%. You also put in the Investment of the Chain Master, giving your dad a flying speed, the ability to attack as a bonus action, magical weapons, your DC for saves, and you can react to give the little bugger resistance to one instance of damage. Literally everyone else's dad is dead already, try not to add one more to the pile. Except for Romani's, but that's sad in its own way.

Warlock 4: Another ASI, max out your Charisma. It's good, you use it for literally everything. For spells, Mind Sliver deals psychic damage an makes the target's next save a bit harder to make. You also get a Crown of Madness, which gives you control over a creature's attack action. Just because you're less spooky than Abby doesn't mean you're not spooky.

Warlock 5: Fifth level warlocks get a new invocation and third level spell. Summon Shadowspawn lets you paint one of three kinds of shadowspawn, creepy little things that can scare people by screaming at them. They'll obey your commands, and it'll last up to an hour, until they hit 0 HP, or you drop concentration. Your last invocation is the Gift of the Depths, letting you breathe underwater and swim as fast as you can walk. Now it's slightly less awkward to carry your dad around, yay. You can also cast Water Breathing for free once per long rest.

Bard 6: Finally back in bard now, sixth level creation bards can put on an Animating Performance, turning a large or smaller item into a Dancing Item with its own stats and everything. You have to use your bonus action to command it in battle, but you can inspire people at the same time. I'm not sure how well animating water would work, but it's something to look into. You also learn how to Countercharm, spending your action to give creatures near you advantage on saves against being charmed or frightened. For something better, grab Intellect Fortress. For up to an hour, you'll resist psychic damage, and you get advantage on all Int, Wis, and Chr saves.

Bard 7: Seventh level bards get fourth level spells, like Hallucinatory Terrain! Now you can paint a landscape- literally! It's only 150' in range, but that's still plenty of space to mess with people. It doesn't really change anything, but forcing people to look at non-euclidean geometry is its own reward.

Bard 8: Another ASI. Bump up your Dex now so you're less likely to get hit, then grab Phantasmal Killer to paint a scary creature that will follow the target around and beat them up. It's a shame only one creature gets to see it.

Bard 9: Ninth level bards get a better song of rest, but more importantly you get fifth level spells. Legend Lore will help you see the true meaning of things more easily, and the more you already know about something the more you'll learn. That's why your Arcana and Nature skills are so high. Oh, wait, sorry, one sec...

Bard 10: And that's why your Arcana and Nature skills are so high... starting now, with another round of Expertise. Your inspiration also jumps to d10s, and you learn Magical Secrets, two spells from any spell list you can cast. On top of that, you get Prestidigitation to paint up small objects. For your secrets, Conjure Animals lets you paint up some real animals that'll attack enemies for you. Alternatively, you can Control Water to make those waves we've been trying to do with way less fuss than a Song of Creation or Animating Performance. It does come with the limit of using existing water, though you can also Part Water, cause a Whirlpool, or Redirect Flow with this one.

Bard 11: Eleventh level bards get a sixth level spell, and True Seeing will help you see All Things in Nature, letting you see through illusions, invisibility and the like.

Bard 12: One last ASI; bump up your Constitution for better concentration and more HP.

Bard 13: Your Song of Rest is a d10 now, and you get a seventh level spell. Prismatic Spray is the return of Color Spray, but it's taken steroids. Now it deals plenty of damage of a random type to each creature in its area, or it has a chance to shove them into another dimension or petrify them.

Bard 14: Your last goody from the college of creation is a Creative Crescendo, allowing you to paint up to your Charisma Modifier in items when you use a Performance of Creation. Only one can be a biggun, the rest have to be small or tiny. Also, your max size is Huge now, and a 15' cube of water will make a pretty big splash. You also get another round of Magical Secrets, grabbing you Conjure Elemental for a more symbolic approach to flooding people, and Wrath of Nature to paint a landscape that'll really fuck with someone. The grass turns land into difficult terrain, the trees will slash at enemies nearby, Roots and vines restrain enemies, and Rocks will throw themselves at enemies, knocking them prone on a failed strength save. It's not mind melting geometries, but it's still mess with people's heads.

Bard 15: Your ultimate level gives you a d12 inspiration die. You also get one last spell, of the eighth level. Feeblemind will handle all the mind melting the last level failed to live up to, forcing an intelligence save and dealing damage regardless. On a failed save, the creature's Intelligence and Charisma drop to 1, and it can't cast spells, use magic items, talk, or understand people. The only ways to fix this are with another Intelligence saving throw (every 30 days) or using Greater Restoration, Heal, or Wish.

Pros and Cons

Pros:

Like the regular Hokusai, this build has a great deal of flexibility, with pretty good AC, HP, and physical attack options to get up close and personal, as well as ways to buff allies and attack with spells at a distance.

Speaking of spells, they give you a lot of crowd control options. You can create extra allies with summoning spells and Animating Performance, blow them away with waves from Control Water or Performance of Creation, or keep them tied up with various illusions.

You're also really good at fighting other spellcasters. Spells like Protection from Evil and Good and Intellect Fortress will shore up most of your saves against fancier spells, and you can use Feeblemind to completely shut down anyone who isn't a wizard or artificer.

So piss off your patron and kick the ass of their flunkies, easy! Wait, there's still cons.

Cons:

Okay, so there are some problems with throwing waves all over the place: they're hard to control where exactly they end up. Also, your best wave requires real water, which won't always be available.

On a similar note, you specialize in summons and illusions, both of which tend to require Concentration saves. Yours aren't that great, and on top of that it means you can only have one up at a time. Unless you're cool with an elemental running around willy nilly, but that fits into Con #1.

Your Familiar can only stay on dry land for 30 minutes at a time. If you're going to play this in a landlocked campaign, switch the octopus and last invocation for something else, it'll be a pain otherwise.

Okay, she isn't perfect, just make sure you carry an aquarium with you, problem solved, right?

[thoughts-on-bangtan]

Hi! I hope you’ll answer this question bc it bothers me quite a lot.. https://www.quora.com/What-does-it-mean-now-that-BTS-are-partial-owners-of-Big-Hit-Entertainment do you think it is true what the second person (Christine Herman) said? After reading this, i started to wonder…what if BTS does really have only profit in mind while doing new projects these days? Maybe they don’t really care anymore about creative and meaningful lyrics and sound? With Butter and PTD…all this generic music sung in English. Of course they say “we wanted to make fans feel good”, “butter and ptd represent who we are” and all these things fans want to hear but.. do you really think it’s true? moreover, don’t get me wrong, i don’t find product placement in their reality shows as something terrible, i believe this is a normal thing, however, nowadays the members really film ads and do marketing a lot. so yeah, for some reason i began to question their integrity dhsjjss i hope you will understand from where my concerns come from and won’t find this ask stupid sjdjjdjd

After reading that persons answer I can immediately tell you that I basically don't agree with an overwhelming majority of what she said (even more so since a lot of it just makes her sound like a manti that hates the company and basically would want them to make music for free or something). Generally I don’t agree with most of the opinions this person holds, and also Quora really isn’t a good source for info or good opinions, most of it is written by mantis, haters, and toxic shippers with an agenda so most ARMY will tell you to stay as far away from that website as possible.

Anyway, her focus in that answer was on money, since BTS are shareholders (and how that’s a conflict of interest despite other artists doing the exact thing but no one really cares or ever thinks about it), but what she failed to consider and note was that Big Hit Music, so BTS' label, isn't part of HYBE in the sense that shareholding has no baring on it since BHM is private. So while BTS profit off of HYBE doing well, and have a small percentage of a voice as shareholders, that has nothing to do with BHM in the classical sense, even if BHM's earnings reflect well on HYBE numbers and the shareholder money. 

BHM was made private to ensure their artistry would remain untouched, that was the whole point of that.

Even if they weren't HYBE shareholders, take Namjoon as example. He has more than 170 KOMCA credits, is among the top 3 Korean artists with the most credits and is also the youngest of them all. It is said that his earnings from that alone can sustain his family for 3 generations over. Look at Hobi and Chicken Noodle Soup, that song was a hit and he paid the original creator of that song 2 million dollars upfront and earned a lot back due to how successful it was. Same goes for Hope World which, again, was and is still immensely successful. Look at Yoongi and his work both as prod. SUGA, featuring artist SUGA, and as Agust D, as well as the credits he holds for his work on BTS songs (giving him as well a total of over 100 KOMCA credits, just like Hobi). Bangtan have worked and continue to work extremely hard for their music, put their heart and souls into it, and it shows even if their style changed as they grew older and more mature.

Yes, money is a major motivator, but looking at the above paragraph, do you really peg the members as these corrupt money hungry sellouts with no music related integrity? Who would need to sign major deals and would throw away their passion to just release empty shells of music for the sole reason of money? Am I naive enough to believe that they don't care about money? Of course not, we live in a capitalist society and even if BTS wouldn't care about money anymore at this point, HYBE very much does, and yet still I can't find it in me to agree with any of what was said in that answer that person wrote.

More below the cut:

And that point about how Hyundai cars were sold out because of BTS, isn't that the point why literally any company ever hires celebrities to advertise and endorse their product? And sure, again, I'm certain they earned a lot on these deals, they aren't the first or last or only ones in the history of ever to do so. Besides, look at JK and what he's done for small companies, or Tae who wore a brooch made my a small creator at the airport which catapulted that creator into the eyes of millions of ARMYs enough so that they could move to a proper studio and earn money with their work. Or the modern hanboks JK wore which led to the brand being able to move into actual stores in malls because of their sudden new popularity and demand. Or him wearing a bracelet that helps whales with a percentage of the money from the sales of said bracelet. And for all of that JK and Tae didn't earn any money at all. JK himself said that he's more conscious of the brand he wears now because he wants to help smaller businesses in these trying times, not because they pay him to do so (especially since they would never be able to afford that), but because he's aware of the influence he has and how he can use it to help others. Sound very much like a capitalistic villain, right?

As for the product placement bit, have you been on YouTube recently? Have you noticed that many, if not most, YouTube videos by “bigger” creators (and by that I mean even people who are around the 100k subscriber mark) begin with them thanking whoever sponsored that particular video and give you a scripted minute to two minute long ad before getting into the actual topic of the video? And In The SOOP featuring Chilsung Cider, FILA clothes and the random mention of how good Samsung phones are isn’t much different from it, though really, if you’re not someone interested in fashion much, would you really notice or care that they wore FILA? It’s just...clothes? If it weren’t a BTS related show, would you even notice it much? And it’s not even like they mentioned those brands every five minutes or anything, just a few times, which sure sounded a bit out of place at times, but personally I thought it was easy to look past. That’s just how things work nowadays and it’s odd for people to behave like somehow BTS are the first and only ones to use product placements despite literally every movie and show doing it in subtle and less so manners.

The answer by that person you sent also mentioned the Hyundai song for their car IONIQ and, unsurprisingly, that person wrote it off as just some commercial jingle but I’d actually disagree with that. Not to sound like a Hyundai and Samsung stan, which I am neither of, but I actually think those two knew best how to utilize the artist they have spent millions on signing a deal with. Hyundai didn’t just write them off as pretty faces with a millions strong fan army behind them and that’s it, they remembered that they are musicians so they gave them a song and made a whole music video for it as well. And say what you will, it is a good song. Then, just a few days ago, Samsung stepped up their game and we were given Over The Horizon Prod by SUGA of BTS. For those who aren’t Samsung users, Over The Horizon is their signature ringtone and basically their company sound, and over the years different artists were asked to make their own version of it. And this time they reached out to Yoongi and asked if he’d like to do it as well. It’s kind of a big deal. Sure, Butter is used in one of their commercials much the way Dynamite was last year, but that’s beside the point. Would that person make the same claim about Imagine Dragons whose song Believer is also part of the ads for the new Samsung phones? I have my doubts.

Furthermore, and I don't want this to come across as mean toward you but, I think it is uncalled for to question their artistic integrity based on a total of 3 (three) English songs when last year alone we received 50+ songs, most of which were in Korean, among them the entirety of BE which was, according to the members, the album they were most involved in ever when it comes to both music and everything around it.

You can dislike their English songs, that’s more than fine, they have a very extensive discography you can listen to instead, but questioning their integrity based on them doing something that most, if not every, artist on their level does (as in sign ad deals with brands etc) is a bit much if you ask me. Does that mean indie artists whose songs get picked up for commercials (or for Netflix shows or movies) and thus it catapults them into the mainstream are also just money hungry people with no integrity and ones who don’t care about their music? Or is that, again, just a standard Bangtan is held to (as in that their integrity is questioned based on everything, even the most trivial/normal things) that only applies to them and no one else?

In the recent Weverse Magazine article about how Permission to Dance came to be there is a lot of talk about not only that song but also Butter and Dynamite, among the things being discussed and talked about they mentioned how the original lyrics for Butter were much more materialistic but that the members didn't like that so they asked for that to be changed. Likewise the original lyrics for Permission to Dance, as you'd expect from the penmanship of Ed Sheeran, were much more romantic, almost proposal like, which wasn't what the members wanted either so it was, again, adjusted in a way that would fit what they, as well as the A&R team, wanted. While you may not like these songs, they still had a say in them to a certain degree, could say yes or no and ask for adjustments. Why else would PTD take eight months?

While they might outsource their English songs, their main focus, so their Korean (as well as Japanese) discography is still centered around them, their lyrics, their songs, their sound. Of course you’ll also find outside producers and some lyricists on those as well, because that’s how music works these days, as in collaboratively, that doesn’t change anything at large. Their integrity is still very much there, their hearts are still in it, what other reason would any of them have to say that they want to continue for a long time, for Yoongi to say they want to figure out how to make their career last as long as possible, for JK to say that he wants to sing forever?

Admin 2 also wanted me to add that in their opinion, to a certain degree (though not fully of course), their English songs are like a way to laugh at and expose how shallow the English-centric music industry is. As in, while they made music in Korean with deep and meaningful lyrics, the US industry didn’t care but once they switched to easy to listen to sound with easy to understand English lyrics, they suddenly paid attention, are played on the radio, and even received a Grammy nomination which they wouldn’t have gotten for a Korean song ( A1: regardless how much Black Swan or Spring Day really would’ve deserved it...).