#also ?? the streaming version of htd [2011] is different from the original??

[mybackiskillingmebb]

fucks me up sometimes that my roommate and i have different understandings of twin fantasy because whenever i talk about it, i'm usually talking about mirror to mirror and when she talks about it, she's usually talking about face to face.

bc like. we both agree that tf is just like fundamental to our beings. but it's just so fucked to me that she has different versions of certain songs in her head than i do. like i'm genuinely so floored at the thought that when she thinks about high to death, she thinks about high to death [2018] and not high to death [2011] because even tho at their core they're similar, to me htd [2011] is just so much more... idk, melancholy?? that doesn't feel right but htd [2011] just has this quality to it that htd [2018] doesn't (...or perhaps it's the other way around. even after listening to it a few times, and despite how big of a proponent of synth i usually am, i'm unsure how i feel about the synth parts of htd [2018])

intimate. that's the word i'm looking for, i think. i know people have described mtm that way before but there isn't really a better word for it. i know it's bc i prefer mtm over ftf but something about ftf just feels so... clean. removed, even. like in my head that's just not how twin fantasy was meant to sound, but then i have to remember that for most tracks off of ftf, it's supposed to be like that because they're different songs with different lyrics that just happen to share the same song title.

i guess it's apt. mirror to mirror is the wreck as it's actively happening, as it's tearing you limb from limb and telling you that it loves you. face to face is the wreck as a distant memory that perhaps isn't distant enough, a more sanitized version of events that make them easier to process than your vague memory of the horrors you encountered 7 years ago.