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moonlit-jeno · 3 years ago

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red door, yellow door (m.)

pairing: mark lee x fem reader x jung jaehyun

words: 8.1k

a/n: this is a repost from my old bts blog! pls don’t ask abt it bc i no longer actively follow bts :)

One of these days, you’re going to kill your coworkers.

You love them, you really do, but sometimes they can just be so dumb. It was Donghyuck and Renjun who came up with the idea to play this stupid game, one that is probably only played by naive 12 year old girls during slumber parties.

Normally you’d just brush it off, but Renjun had called you a wimp, so naturally you had to do it. Which is how you’ve ended up on your back with your best friend massaging circles into your forehead.

“Red door, yellow door, any other color door,” is being chanted around the room. You fight the urge to move your neck to a more comfortable position on Mark’s lap. Your hand twitches above your head, where your arms are raised. “This is stupid,” You whisper, and Mark laughs, scolding you lightly.

After a while, the mindless chanting lulls you to sleep, and you feel yourself drift off.

“What do you see?”

Two doors appear in front of you, one red and one yellow. They both look kind of old, paint chipping and peeling off.

“Anything else?”

A black door appears next to the yellow one and you find yourself drawn to it, wanting to go in. This one is shinier, considerable newer and more inviting compared to the other two

“Go in.”

You open the door and walk through, a sense of relief flooding through your senses as you give in to the pull. The room that you find yourself in seems never ending, the only thing in it a large bed.

“Do you see anyone?”

A man appears, sitting on the bed. The suit he’s wearing is unfitting for the plain surroundings- in fact, he’s unfitting for the surroundings in general. His teeth are blinding white when he smiles, not a hair out of place on his entire head. He’s attractive, all golden skin and beautiful features. Almost too beautiful. A shiver crawls up your spine, a tinge of discomfort bleeding into your senses. He smiles, dimples popping out, and you push the discomfort to the back of your mind.

“Who are you?” Your voice comes out distant to your own ears, echoing around you.

“Call me Jaehyun. Why don’t you come here, little bird? We can get properly acquainted.” The voice sounds haunting, like a distorted video. You wouldn’t believe that he’s speaking if his lips didn’t move in sync. Despite the unnatural voice sounding warning bells in your brain, you find yourself moving forward automatically and settling down on his lap when he pats his thigh for emphasis.

“And what’s your name, little bird?” He trails a hand up and down your thigh and you shiver, leaning back against him. He chuckles when you tell him your name, a pleased smile lighting up his features.

“Well, little bird, seems that we’re going to have some fun together.”

Your name is being echoed all around you, and you wake with a jolt, eyes flying open to see Mark staring at you.

“Are you okay?” The rest of your group is also gathered around you, standing in a half circle.

“Yeah, just fell asleep for a bit. Why?” You push yourself onto your elbows, sitting up so that you can lean against Mark.

Donghyuck plops down on the floor, sitting so that he’s facing you. “You were talking like you were having a conversation with someone. Who was it?”

You shrug, trying not to dull his excitement. “I don’t know, just some guy.”

“Was he wearing a suit?” Renjun asks, standing behind Hyuck. He grimaces when you nod. “Y/n, we literally told you not to talk to anyone in a suit. We told you not to talk to anyone. It’s in the rules.”

You roll your eyes, knowing how serious he gets when it comes to stuff like this. “Relax, it’s fine. He seemed nice, and it’s not like it was anything real.”

Renjun still doesn’t look convinced, but Mark interrupts his paranoia by doing what he’s best- or worst, depending on who you ask- at, cracking jokes.

“Hey, was he eating deviled eggs?” He laughs at his own joke, and everyone else groans. “Hey, don’t get mad at me. His place was probably such a hellhole.” The bad mood dissolves into jokes and loud laughter for the rest of the night.

You leave the party- or gathering as Donghyuck had called it because it sounded more mysterious- when it starts storming. The rain drenches you and pretty much everyone else that’s sitting on the porch, leaving you scrambling for shelter. Luckily, Mark offers you a ride.

“Sleep tight, don’t let the bed bugs bite!” Mark hollars out the window of his truck, his words getting lost in the night as he speeds off. His truck hits a pothole and you can imagine him swearing as his head hits the roof. Giggling to yourself, you unlock your apartment and slip inside. It’s close to 2 in the morning, so you decide that if you’re already not going to get that much sleep, why not binge Shameless?

You only get through two episodes before your eyelids feel heavy, and you have to fight to keep them open. On screen, there’s a bar fight that you try to take interest in, but sleep quickly pulls you under.

“Welcome back, little bird.” The voice is all around you, but no matter how much you turn and search, no one’s to be found.

“Turn around, little bird, I am here.” Spinning abruptly, you come face to face with the man from earlier, Jaehyun. He gives you a chilling grin.

“So we meet again,” he starts, and his voice no longer sounds eerie or inauthentic. He sounds like, well, a normal man. “Tell me, what would you do if I were to kiss you?”

You swallow, tongue darting out to wet your lips on instinct. “Depends. Are you a good kisser?” You aim for coy, but you miss the mark and land closer to worried.

“You could say that.” He pulls you close with one hand on the back of your head, stopping right before your lips. “May I?”

You nod, and he pulls you in for a gentle, closed mouth kiss.

It’s like that touch ignites a fire in you, because before you know it, your arms are thrown around his neck, dragging him closer to deepen the kiss. You lick along his lower lip and he readily grants you access, a throaty groan leaving him when you suck on his tongue. Liquid heat courses through your veins when he nips at your lower lip, tongue flicking over it in apology. You moan, raw and needy. He likes that, if the chuckle and wicked grin is anything to go by. Picking you up so that your legs are wrapped around his waist, he walks over to a bed that definitely wasn’t there before.

He drops you on the bed, and then suddenly you’re both naked. Jaehyun leans over you, all lean muscles and golden skin. His cock hangs hard and flushed between his legs, and you have the urge to swallow him down. He groans, as if reading your mind, and then reaches to pump himself slowly, long fingers wrapped around the length. “Not now, little bird, not now. I have something else in mind.” With one gentle push to your shoulders, you’re lying flat on the bed, Jaehyun between your legs. His mouth hovers over your core, already wet and dripping despite not having been touched. He plays idly with the slick on your upper thigh, drawing random patterns into the flesh. His eyes are dark, and you could swear that they’re entirely black, no white visible. He peers curiously up at you from between your legs, watching your reaction as his fingers get closer and closer to where you want him. Your breathing picks up as arousal thrums through your body, center pulsing and aching for some sort of relief.

“May I have you?” His breath ghosts over your center when you speak, the sensation making you even needier.

You nod quickly. “Take it, fuck, you have all of me.” He grins, wasting no time in diving in. His tongue feels impossibly good, licking up your folds and circling over your clit. He leaves sloppy kisses along your core, one hand massaging your thigh and keeping you spread open. You cry out when his tongue pushes into you, his nose brushing your clit and sending sparks up your spine.

His tongue feels impossibly long, so good inside of you that you feel like you’re losing your mind. Your hips buck up desperately, riding his face to hell and back. One arm gets thrown over your stomach to keep you in place while two fingers from his free hand dip into your soaking core, curling into that spot immediately. Stars flash behind your eyes, one hand coming down to fist in Jaehyun’s hair. Your feet scramble frantically along his back, heels digging in in an effort to anchor yourself, toes curling at the sensations singing through you.

You feel your orgasm drawing closer, heat pooling in your center. You whimper brokenly as you try to chase after your high, grinding your hips along his tongue. He lets you, just holding his tongue flat out for you to ride.

You come like that, falling apart on his tongue, screams of his name falling from your lips. He works you through it, tongue gently licking along your folds, slurping up your arousal as if he hasn’t had a meal in weeks.

You lay there, boneless and whimpering weakly through the aftershocks until Jaehyun pulls away to kiss up your body. He licks into your mouth hotly, reminding you that he hasn’t come yet. You bat weakly at his chest, pushing him onto his back. “Your turn,”

He groans in appreciation at the view of you above him. “So perfect, little bird. I’m gonna have so much fun with your soul.”

This sentence freezes you in your spot. “What the fuck does that mean?”

Jaehyun meets your gaze, black eyes entrancing you. “That means, y/n, that I’m going to have your soul. You belong to me now, hmm?” One of his hands plays gently with a strand of your hair. “That’s what you agreed to earlier, no?”

“N-no.” You try backing away, but the inhuman voice from earlier is back, echoing everywhere, repeating his words over and over until you can’t take it anymore-

You wake with a gasp, hitting your head as you sit up. Your computer is still on your lap, episode fifteen playing. Fuck, you’ve only been asleep for forty five minutes. It’s not even three yet, and you don’t have to go to work until eight. Deciding there’s no way you’re falling back asleep, you get up and decide to bake.

Five hours later, your coworkers love you when you show up with containers of cinnamon rolls, five different types of cookies, and a coffee cake. Mark looks mildly worried.

“You okay? I haven’t seen you bake since high school.” You snap out of your thoughts and turn to face Mark. The look of concern on your best friend’s face is enough to make you feel guilty and you nod, forcing a smile onto your face.

“Yeah, I’m fine. Had a bad dream last night and couldn’t sleep, that’s all.” You respond, trying not to show how bothered you actually are.

“Wanna talk about it?” Mark leans forward over his desk, chin planted on his hand.

“No, it’s gonna sound dumb.” You whine, shaking your head. And it is dumb, even to you. You’re scared because you had a dream that some man ate you out and then told you he was going to take your soul?

“Well, you always sound dumb. Of course your dreams are gonna be dumb.” Mark laughs as you chuck a piece of cake at him, infectious laugh soothing you. You sigh.

Mark raises his eyebrows at you when you finish telling him your dream. “You’re scared because you had a wet dream? Damn, I’d be living in a nightmare if I was scared after every wet dream I’ve had.”

You kick him under the table. “Mark! It was really scary. He told me he was going to take my soul!”

Upon seeing that you’re actually freaked out, his face softens. “Look, y/n, you’ve got nothing to worry about. You probably just thought that he was hot, and your brain remembered his face and put it in a dream. I wouldn’t worry about it; what’s the worst he’s gonna do, haunt you?”

You give a shaky nod, agreeing. It’s not like something from your dreams could actually harm you. Mark reaches across the desk, taking your hand in his and giving a tight squeeze, warm brown eyes gazing at you openly. “And if something does happen, just remember that I’m your best friend. I’ll be here for you.”

“Thanks, Mark. Means a lot to me.”

He leans back in his seat. “Anytime, anyplace, anything. Triple A.”

You smile, raising an eyebrow. “Anything?”

His eyes go wide, taking in the glint in your eyes. “Within reason.”

“How about a sip of coffee?” You nod down at his cup, pasting a huge smile on your face.

“I did say within reason, so no.”

You huff. “I expected that.”

Although you don’t scare easily, it’s safe to say that you’re a bit unsettled tonight, especially after your nightmare last night. You find yourself jumping at every little noise, hand slamming the light switch on with your pulse racing every five minutes. This has been going on for an hour, and after a final sweep of your room reveals nothing, you decide that maybe a face mask will help you relax.

Your bathroom has two mirrors facing each other, which is normally a blessing when you do your hair, but tonight it does nothing but make you want to hide under your blankets.

Get a grip on yourself, you chastise, grabbing your phone and opening spotify. Maybe some music will help? You click on your Christmas playlist because what better way to cheer up than to think about your favorite holiday?

A mistake, really, because it seems that you’ve forgotten how creepy Santa is.

“He sees you when you’re sleeping, he knows when you’re awake,” Yikes. You stop that song in a hurry, feeling anything but comforted. No music then, noted.

You reach for your face wash, turning the sink on and waiting for the water to warm. You can’t help but glance in the mirror behind you every so often, paranoia getting the best of you. Man, you feel pathetic, worrying about monsters in your closet like you’re six and not twenty-six.

You wash your face quickly, hoping that your fears will wash away as well. No such luck.

You swear you see something move behind you after you dry your face off, but there’s nothing there. Shaking it off, you reach for your face mask, taking your time painting your face with the green clay.

It’s after your face is coated that you spot someone in the glass behind you. You scream, whipping around to come face to face with a man. Not just any man- Jaehyun.

Your heart thunders in your chest, eyes widening in fear. He seems to be in the mirror, copying your petrified expression mockingly.

“Hello, little bird.” He purrs, smirking lightly.

“Are you- are you in my mirror?” You’re in disbelief, mind struggling to comprehend this. First you spot him while in a weird trance, then in a dream, and now in your mirror? Maybe you’re having a quarter life crisis.

“No, I am not. Mirrors are just gateways to alternate dimensions. I’m merely using the mirror to visit you.” He says this like it’s common knowledge. It feels like your throat is made of sandpaper with how hard it is to choke out your words. “O-okay. I’m just gonna- yeah.”

You grab your phone from the counter and bolt, fumbling for your keys before jumping into your car and speeding off in the direction of Mark’s house. You call him, fingers fumbling on the screen. He goes to voicemail the first time, and your heart drops. “No, no, no,” you whisper frantically, calling again. He does pick up this time.

“Y/n? It’s the middle of the night.” His voice sounds gruff, and you feel guilty for waking him up. One glance in your rear view mirror reveals that Jaehyun is joining you on this ride, and you scream, car swerving violently to one side before you straighten it out.

“Where are we going, little bird?”

“Y/n? Are you okay?” Mark’s voice has lost its sleepy edge, taking on a concerned tone. He says your name again, more frantic.

“Yeah, I’m fine.” Your tires squeal as you make a turn, now only two blocks away. “Can I- can I come over? I really need to be with someone right now.”

“Of course, you know you’re always welcome. The door’s unlocked.”

You hang up, willing the tears in your eyes to not spill over. Finally arriving, you slam on the breaks and haphazardly pull next to a curb, yanking the key out of the ignition and sprinting to Mark’s house.

You lock the door behind you when you step inside, testing the handle as if a door could stop a mirror traveling demon or whatever the fuck Jaehyun was from coming inside. “Mirrors,” you mumble, reaching the stairs.

“Y/n? What’s-” Mark stands at the top of the stairs, one hand rubbing at his eyes. You cut him off, flying up the stairs.

“Mirrors, fuck. Mark, we need to cover the mirrors!” You breeze by his shocked figure, not noticing the way he turns to stare at you incredulously.

“What, why? Y/n, are you crazy?”

Ignoring him, you throw a towel over the mirror in his bathroom, ripping open a pack of bandaids to use as adhesive.

You throw another towel over the mirror in his bedroom, collapsing on his bed when you’re done and finally allowing yourself to sob.

“Y/n, hey, what’s wrong? Talk to me.” Mark, as gentle and caring as ever, comes over to sit next to you, one hand combing through your hair.

“I- don’t laugh at me.” You stare him straight in the eye, pleading with him. You know you’re going to sound crazy, but you’re praying that your best friend listens to you. He nods, urging you to go on.

“That- that man I saw in my dream and during whatever fucked up game Hyuck had us play? He was in my fucking mirror, Mark. I- the whole night, I had this feeling that I was being watched, and then I went into my bathroom and he was just there, and-” You’re hyperventilating at this point, fighting for every breath, tears clouding your vision. “He was in my car, in the rear view mirror-” Mark pulls you closer, enveloping you in his arms and allowing you to sob loudly into his chest. You cry for a few minutes, until you’re finally able to pull yourself together.

“Shh, it’s okay. You’ve had a rough week, I know. It’s okay, everything’s going to be okay.”

He wipes a tear away from your check, patting you lightly. “Why don’t you go wash this off, okay? We can watch a movie after.” He offers, and until that point, you’d forgotten you were wearing a face mask. You grimace at the green imprint on his black shirt, but he just chuckles. “I’ll go grab you some water in the meantime.”

Nodding, you garner up the energy to walk to his bathroom. It’s fine, the mirror’s covered, he can’t hurt you. You close the door just in case, wanting an extra level of protection

You rinse your face with cold water, hoping that it will clear your mind. You give your face a couple more splashes before drying off with a towel.

“You missed a spot on your forehead.” You freeze before looking around wildly. There’s no one around, which can only mean that Jaehyun can still see you. Swallowing, you start the water again, rubbing at your forehead.

“And your left cheek.” You rub at the skin, being way too harsh but you excuse it considering your situation. “No, your other left. My left.”

“Jesus,” You growl in annoyance, reaching up to rip the towel down. Sure enough, there’s a splotch of green on your cheek. Jaehyun’s nowhere to be found. Maybe I am losing my mind.

You finish rinsing the mask off, finding some face lotion buried in Mark’s drawer, screaming bloody murder when Jaehyun appears in the mirror again. “Looking for me?”

“No! Leave me alone!” You cry, head spinning. Jaehyun fakes a pout, holding a hand over his heart in mock hurt. Do demons even have hearts?

“Ouch, little bird. You don’t want to finish what we started the other night? When I had you moaning so pretty, so wet for me. I’m sure your pussy would take me so well, hmm?” Your heart rate kicks up again, but for a different reason this time. You almost moan, thinking about the dream.

Because he was right, you had been so wet. The want comes back full forces, slamming into you like a truck. You remember how needy you were, wanting to suck his cock so bad, wanting him to fuck you like there’s no tomorrow. All fear that you previously had is slowly disappearing, fading into lust.

The demon smiles knowingly. “Ah, little bird, so you do remember. Remember how you promised me that you’re mine?”

You nod, eyes glazing over. You’re wet, panties starting to stick to your throbbing core uncomfortably.

“Mmmh, I bet you’re already dripping for me. Just waiting for me to come out and fill you up.”

Hearing your name leave his lips sends a wave of arousal crashing through you so strong that your knees buckle, grabbing onto the counter for support. He chuckles, but whatever he’s about to say is cut off by Mark.

“What were you say-” Your best friend trails off, eyes wide as he observes the scene. You snap out of your haze at the interruption. His mouth parts in shock. “You really weren’t kidding, shit.” He laughs humorlessly.

Then, quick as lightning, he rears back and punches the mirror. You scream in surprise at the crack, shards falling to the floor.

You and Mark both stare at the broken shards of glass on the ground, gleaming under the lights. “Mark,” You start, trailing off once you realize you have nothing to say. He seems to understand, walking forward until he’s close enough to pull you into a hug. You feel tears start to slide down your cheeks, dampening the cotton of your best friends shirt. You hug him closer, burying your face into his broad chest. He wraps himself around you, and you let yourself be lulled into the sense of security that his larger frame brings you. A sense of security that vanishes once you hear a low chuckle that definitely does not belong to Mark.

You both scream, leaping backwards and away from the noise. Jaehyun stands there, just in front of the door, with a shit eating grin on his face. You cower behind Mark, who is wrapping a protective arm around you while simultaneously trying to hide behind you.

“I really must thank you for finally setting me free. Normally I have to wait for some asshole with a ouija board, but then there’s just so many other demons that I have to compete with. So I just stick to the dream world-” He pauses to wink at you for emphasis “-but this is so much more fun.” His eyes are black, and you can’t tell where he’s looking. Swallowing, you clutch onto Mark’s arm for dear life.

The demon seems to regard the two of you for a moment, before his amusement seems to grow. He begins to move forward.

“Ah, Mark Lee. Lovely name for a stupid boy. Didn’t you know breaking a mirror is bad luck?” By this point, you and Mark are flattened against the wall, while Jaehyun stands less than a foot away from the two of you. There’s nowhere to run. This is it, you think, this is how I die.

Jaehyun chuckles, turning to you. You lower your gaze to the ground; it hurts to make eye contact with him. “No, little bird. This isn’t how you die, don’t worry.”

Then he’s backing away from the two of you, motioning to follow him. The logical part of your brain is screaming not to, but you find yourself drawn to him, legs carrying you after him without your consent, Mark clutching your arm tightly as he walks next to you.

Jaehyun seems to know the layout of the house, leading you straight into Mark’s bedroom. The demon grabs a chair from the desk and spins it around, straddling it so that he’s facing the bed.

He motions lazily. “Go on now, have a seat. Get comfortable.”

You find yourself sitting down on the edge of the bed, following his words like marching orders. Mark sits about half a foot away from you. Jaehyun shakes his head. “No, no, no. That won’t do. I said to get comfortable, did I not?” He raises an eyebrow as if daring you to argue with him. “Go lay down at the head board.”

You crawl to the head of the bed, settling so that you’re on your side, facing the demon. Mark follows suit, pulling you close to him so that you’re spooning. Jaehyun lets out a pleased hum. “Much better. Aren’t you much more comfortable now?” Nodding, you realize that you actually are more comfortable. It’s not just the change of position, but the energy in the room as well. The demon is no longer giving off a threatening aura. It’s more relaxed, maybe even happy? He certainly looks more relaxed, probably as happy as a demon can get, if not a little smug.

Your body is pulsing with energy, and it takes you a moment to place what you’re feeling. The earlier need to run that you had felt has been replaced with another need, albeit further down. Your thighs clench as another surge of heat pulses through your core, and your face warms at the realization. Why now, of all times, are you horny?

Jaehyun’s grin broadens as he seems to sense your dilemma. “Oh, little bird, if only you knew. Tell me, what type of demon do you think I am?” He watches you curiously, black eyes staring into your soul.

You try to tilt your head towards Mark, but the position’s too awkward and you only catch a glimpse of the side of his face. He looks a bit flushed from what you can see, teeth digging into his plush bottom lip, teeth that you could easily replace with your own- you blink, dazedly. What the fuck? Sexual thoughts about your best friend? That’s a new one. Even if you’ve noticed that he’s hot, you’d never thought about him sexually. Now, though, you can feel the hardness of his dick against your ass, and you can’t help but think about how good he could fuck you.

“Incubus,” You finally manage, blinking rapidly to clear the haze of your vision. Jaehyun grins, looking genuinely surprised that you’d gotten it right.

“Good girl. Make a little sense now?” You nod, fighting a moan as Mark starts to rock against you, slowly, as if he’s unconsciously doing it. Jaehyun notices.

“How about you, Mark? You doing alright over there?”

Your friend, your best friend, buries his face in your neck and groans, deep and delicious. It sends another surge of heat through your body, the growing need between your legs pulsing pathetically. “What are you doing to us?” The words are growled behind you, vibrating against the skin where his lips are pressed.

“Oh no, Mark, I’m not doing anything to you. The only thing I can do to you is make you realize your desires. Your deepest, darkest fantasies? I make that happen. Finally being able to fuck the girl you’ve been in love with for years? I make that happen.” The words take a minute to register with you, but you stiffen when the meaning hits you. Mark Lee, in love with you? An unlikely story, bordering impossible.

The demon chuckles at your inner turmoil, rolling his eyes at how dumb humans can be. “You too, y/n. You love Mark, even if you won’t admit it. You let the idea that he was too good for you scare you away from him. Do you not remember how often you thought of him, late at night after first meeting him?”

You groan in protest, not because it’s not true, but because you do remember. It had been so long ago. When you hadn’t known Mark, had only known of him. You pull away from Mark, awkwardly pushing him to lay flat against the pillows while you clamber on top of him.

“Mark, is it true? Do you love me?” You hold his face between your hands, staring into his eyes. He meets your gaze, pupils blown and eyes half lidded. He nods as best he can.

“So, so much.” Mark’s voice comes out raspy, matching his flushed skin. You lean down to kiss him, uncaring of the other presence in the room. Mark moans when your lips make contact, hands pulling you to straddle him. Your eyelids flutter at the feeling of his clothed cock against your center, rocking your hips to try to ease the throb of your core. His hands fly to your ass, pulling and kneading at the flesh as he urges you into a harsher pace.

The kiss is rougher, needier now, open mouthed and panting. Mark’s got his tongue tangled with yours, sucking in such a way that sends waves of heat through you. You want him in you, any part of him really.

Jaehyun seems to agree, speaking up from right next to you. You jump, having forgotten he was there although he’s the reason you’re like this in the first place.

“Let’s get the show on the road. As much as I’m enjoying this, I think we’d all enjoy something else a little more.” The demon reaches for the hem of your shirt and you nod, raising your arms above your head to let him pull the garment off. Mark groans at the newly revealed skin, hands going to cup your breasts through the fabric of your bra. “Fuck,” He whines, staring in awe at your chest. He doesn’t waste time before leaning up to kiss along your cleavage, pulling the bra down to expose your breasts. Another set of hands unclasp the bra before traveling down your torso to rub circles into your hip bones, sliding your sleeping shorts and panties off at the same time. Jaehyun throws the shorts somewhere off the bed. He keeps the panties, a pleased sigh leaving him as he appreciates the ruined fabric.

“Fuck, little bird. You’re really enjoying this,” He comments, as if he isn’t a fucking lust demon that can sense these kinds of things. You don’t voice your thoughts, because Mark chooses this moment to suck a nipple into his mouth, nibbling and sucking on the sensitive skin so that all you can do is moan. “You’ve even ruined your panties. They’re soaked.”

He hands the strip of lace to Mark, who lets out a throaty groan at the sight. “You’re not getting these back.” He informs you, slipping the garment into his bedside drawer. You ignore him, instead tugging insistently at his shirt. He takes pity on you, grabbing the collar and yanking the baggy tee over his head.

You let your hands slide down his chest in admiration, feeling the hard lines of his muscles. You lick your lips at how broad his shoulders are, how strong he looks. Jaehyun doesn’t give you much time to enjoy the view, gliding two fingers along your slit before circling around your little nub. A cry of pleasure leaves you to mindlessly press your face into Mark’s collarbone, nipping and sucking the flesh until you’re sure you’ve left a bruise.

Jaehyun slips the two fingers into your aching core, curling and dragging them so well along your walls. Sparks of electricity flow through your veins, heat pooling in your center.

Mark groans from below you. Looking down, you see that you’ve unconsciously dug your nails into his hard chest in an effort to ground yourself. You remove your hands, only to spot little red half crescents littered over his skin. You rub your palms over the marks as if to soothe them, but it seems that the man wasn’t groaning from pain.

“Y/n” He sounds so fucked out, voice hoarse and raw even though hardly anything has happened yet. “You look so good like this, so perfect for me.” He brings one large hand up to cup your cheek, thumb delicately stroking over your cheekbone before moving down to trace your lower lip. You part your lips, letting him slide in before sucking around the digit, tongue curling around it as if it were his cock. His eyes darken a fraction, tongue coming out to wet his lips, swollen and kiss bitten.

You moan around the digit as Jaehyun adds a third finger, stretching your walls so pleasantly that you can’t help but buck your hips back for more. A whine forces its way out of your throat as the demon pulls his fingers out of you, leaving an empty ache between your thighs.

“Don’t you think it would be more fun if she was sucking on something a bit bigger than your finger, Mark?” The voice startles you, breath tickling your ear as he speaks. The man under you nods, swallowing thickly. Your eyes are drawn to the way his Adam’s apple bobs with the movement, and a gush of wetness pulses down below. Your thighs are probably covered in your arousal at this point.

You scoot down his body, trailing kisses and bites down his toned stomach. You take your time unzipping his pants, sucking a mark into the soft skin below his navel. He’s hard as a rock, and you moan in appreciation at the sheer size of him once you shimmy his jeans down his thighs.

“No underwear?” You ask, mouth curling up in a teasing smirk. He huffs out a laugh, propping himself up on his elbows so that he can watch. “No, ‘s too restricting.”

You lazily pump his dick, thumb flicking over the tip once or twice. You plan to tease him more, but then Jaehyun’s pushing your head down and you have no choice but to open your mouth wide, innocent eyes peeking up at Mark as you take his cock in your mouth. He’s so big that you can’t take him in all the way, keeping one hand curled around his cock to stroke what your mouth can’t reach. You let it get sloppy, using your spit to ease the glide until you’ve got a pleasant rhythm going. Mark replaces Jaehyun’s hands with his own, gathering strands of your hair in his palms and using that grip to control your pace. “F-fuck,” He lets out a shaky exhale, letting his head fall back against the pillows once he’s satisfied with the pace.

Jaehyun slaps your ass, a loud smack sounding throughout the room. You moan, pitching forward onto Mark’s cock and gagging as he hits the back of your throat. A strangled cry leaves the man above you, his hips thrusting even further into the tight, wet heat of your mouth.

The demon kneads your stinging flesh before using his grip on you to pull your hips up. “Good girl,” You keen under his praises, sticking your ass up even higher. The warm, wet pressure against your center has you faltering, moaning almost violently around Mark’s cock. He doesn’t seem to be having any complaints, the vibrations forcing a moan of his own out.

Your eyes roll up into your head as Jaehyun wraps his lips around your clit, sucking harshly. You’re sure you’d be screaming by now if Mark’s cock wasn’t halfway down your throat. You’ve given up sucking him off by this point, content to let the man fuck your mouth while Jaehyun sucks your fucking soul out from between your legs. It feels so good, not used to being the center of even one man’s focus, let alone two.

Mark eases you off of his cock after you accidentally bite him, using your spit to ease the slide as he lazily fucks up into his loose fist. You rest your head on his thigh, alternating between moaning wantonly and mouthing messily against the skin as you feel your orgasm approach.

Jaehyun pulls away at the last second, and you whine loudly as your orgasm is cut off. The feeling of frustration leaves you close to tears, and you jiggle your ass in hopes that it will regain his attention. It does momentarily, as Jaehyun lands a harsh smack on the flesh, but he pulls away again.

“Mark,” The man in question looks up, hand freezing on his dick as if waiting for Jaehyun’s orders. And fuck, what a sight that would be: your normally brash and confident friend being so pliant and submissive to a near stranger… You blink out of it, feeling mildly ashamed even in your current state. Luckily, Jaehyun interrupts your thoughts. “I’m feeling generous today, so I’ll let you go first. You’ve been waiting long enough for this, anyway.”

Mark nods eagerly, pulling you into a desperate kiss. You paw at every inch of skin you can reach, searching for a release from the ache inside of you. Your wish is granted when he hooks two fingers in your soaking cunt, groaning at how wet you are. He scissors you open quickly, hissing at how tight you feel.

“Ready, angel? Want my cock?” The pet name has you moaning, though it draws a low chuckle from Jaehyun, who’s watching from his position next to Mark.

“Hurry up, already. Need you in me, ‘ve waited so long.”

Mark lights up at this, smile stretching his features. He looks so breathtaking in this moment, skin glowing and flushed, hair mussed up, eyes blown wide and half lidded.

“I’m yours,” He breathes, leaning up for one last kiss. His hands slide down to your hips, pulling you forward so that you’re hovering above his thick cock. “Ride me baby.”

“I’d love to.” Reaching one hand down to position him at your entrance, you start to lower yourself down. Of course, Jaehyun chooses this exact moment to stop you. He truly is the spawn of Satan.

“Little bird, hold on just a second. I found something of interest in the back of Markie’s brain.” You cringe as he mocks your earlier nickname for the man. “What’s this I’m seeing, Mark? You like it up the ass?” His tone is teasing, but Mark groans in embarrassment. His face has gone an alarming shade of red by this point. “N-no,” He tries to deny, sputtering excuses but Jaehyun cuts him off with a press of a finger to his lips. “Oh, Mark, don’t get shy on me now. It’s a perfectly fine thing to like. Little bird, you’ll get your turn in a minute. You,” He snaps his fingers at Mark. “Come here. Kneel up, just like that. Perfect.” He appraises Mark’s ass for a moment, hands moulding the flesh before slipping a finger in. Mark’s eyebrows furrow, and you shoot up in alarm. “Doesn’t he need lube?”

Jaehyun looks at you, surprised that you care, before chuckling. “I can produce lube. Perks of being a lust demon.” Winking at you, he returns his focus to Mark. You can’t see what he’s doing, but the pure pleasure present on your best friends face has you clenching your thighs together, waves of need crashing through you. If you thought he looked good before, he looks absolutely gone now. Breathless groans are leaving him now, eyelids fighting to stay open as he sinks down on the others fingers. You watch him, mesmerized, before shuffling over to him.

“How close are you?”

He forces his gaze down to you. “Kind of- nngh- close, w-why?”

Wrapping a hand around his base lightly, you start stroking. “Will you come if I blow you?”

He moans, a punched out sound that takes you by surprise. “Fuck, yes, I’ll definitely come if you blow me.” You pout in disappointment. Upon seeing your crestfallen expression, he continues. “Maybe we c-can- oh, yes- figure something out. Jaehyun,” He turns his head back behind him, struggling to get the words out between moans. “Can I eat y/n out?”

There’s just something so hot about Mark asking for permission from someone else that you can’t help the whimper that escapes you. Jaehyun must nod, because then you’re being laid back, Mark settling between your thighs. He’s sucking sweet kisses into your core almost immediately, pulling your legs over his shoulders to give him better access. You’re letting out sharp cries of pleasure the whole time, eyes fighting the urge to roll back in your head in favor of watching Mark between your legs. A particularly well placed flick of his tongue has your hips rolling against his face, grasping the sheets in your hand as your mind blanks. The pleasure climbing through your system is insane, threatening to burn you from the inside out.

It only gets better once Mark starts moaning, his sinful mouth sending sweet vibrations traveling up your core. You manage to catch sight of Jaehyun behind him, kissing wetly along his shoulders and neck, features curving into a smirk once he notices you watching him.

“Little bird likes this, hmm? Like watching another man pleasure your boyfriend while he pleases you?” You hum, unable to tear yourself away from his gaze, unable to even think, letting his boyfriend comment slide. Whereas before it hurt to look directly into his eyes, you now find yourself getting lost in his dark orbs. It’s like a drug, your pleasure being amplified by the man, demon, whatever in front of you.

You finally break eye contact, head falling back against the mattress as Mark draws you closer and closer to your peak. Burying one hand in his hair, you use the leverage to grind your core against his face, chasing your sweet release. “C-close, Mark, please-” You don’t know what you’re begging for at this point. It’s too much but not enough at the same time. Jaehyun saves you from having to decide by cruelly ripping your orgasm away from you, again, dragging Mark’s face away from your pussy.

A few tears slip down your face at this point, frustration reaching its peak. Jaehyun wipes the tears away, laughing lowly. “Don’t worry, you’ll get what you desire soon.”

He must pull out of Mark, because your friend whimpers before seeming to realize what he just did and clears his throat uncomfortably.

“Mark, would you like to fuck our little bird now?” Mark nods, tongue flicking out to wet dry lips.

Jaehyun smirks. “Good. On your back. Y/n, ride him.” You don’t have to be told twice. You scramble onto your knees, wasting no time in straddling Mark before dropping yourself down on him. You both moan in satisfaction, you at finally being filled and Mark at your tightness. You have to brace both hands on his chest, almost collapsing at the overwhelming relief you feel. Beyond the burn of the stretch, his cock filling you up so nicely, there’s a sweet pleasure, a satisfaction.

You don’t wait very long to adjust, grinding your hips in smooth circles before lifting yourself off of him and dropping yourself back down. You quickly start a rhythm of you bouncing on his cock, eyes rolling at how fucking big he feels in you.

Mark’s hands are locked in a vice grip on your ass, fingers digging into the supple flesh and using his grip to urge you into a faster pace.

Jaehyun decides to join, coming up behind you to kiss at your neck, one hand reaching up to your mouth. “Suck,” He commands, slipping two fingers past your willing lips. You do, hollowing your cheeks and slurping around the digits, wishing that it was his dick. He hums behind you, bringing the wet digits down to your entrance, finding your clit with ease and rubbing fast circles into the little nub. You moan even louder now, feeling yourself speed towards your climax. You’ve been on edge for too long, you can’t hold on anymore.

“You close, little bird? Going to come on Mark’s cock? Gonna make him fill you up, pound into that dirty cunt?” His words get to you, your head falling back against his shoulder once more.

“Yes, yes! Oh, please, please-” He cuts off your mindless rambling by pulling you in for a kiss, one that you melt into. This is the first time he’s kissed you, and you’re quite upset that you hadn’t kissed him earlier. It’s a hot kiss, lots of tongue and teeth. It heightens your pleasure immensely, and you can’t stop kissing him. You suck on his tongue filthily, and oh, he must like that if the resulting groan is anything to go by. Even when he goes to pull away, you won’t let him, one hand fisting in his hair to keep him close. He seems to be speeding up your release, if that were even possible. Your mind feels hazier now, every sensation heightened, core screaming for release. You feel your orgasm twisting painfully at your insides, pulsing before finally exploding. The intensity of it rips a scream out of your throat, nails scratching across Mark’s chest as Jaehyun licks even deeper into your mouth, drinking up the noises you make.

When you come down, Mark is still thrusting desperately up into you, though he stops at the demons command. “From behind,” You hear Jaehyun say, but everything’s hazy at this point. Your mind is still fuzzy from your orgasm, and it’s like watching through a screen. Like you’re high, though you hadn’t had anything the whole day.

Mark manhandles you into position, hands and knees with your ass raised high in the air. He leaves one gentle kiss on your shoulder blade before relentlessly pounding into you, cock hitting even deeper in this position. Jaehyun kneels in front of you, pulling your face in towards his cock. You moan around him as he slips inside, mouth not quite burning at the stretch like Mark, though the demon still has you gagging. His cock has the same effect on you as his kisses did, and you feel addicted. You’re slurping and sucking and moaning around him, not wanting the intense pleasure to stop. You barely hear the kissing above you, taking far too long to register that Jaehyun has pulled Mark into a messy kiss above you. The image has you moaning even more wantonly, ass pushing back against Mark.

The kiss seems to have a similar effect on the man, because then he’s slamming into you at an even more relentless rate, moans higher and more frequent before he’s coming with a shout, finally filling you up. Your core pulses again at the feeling, and you suck at Jaehyun’s dick with renewed vigor. His hands fist in your hair, keeping you still so that he can fuck your mouth as hard as he wants. You relish in the feeling of your throat being fucked raw, spit dripping out of your mouth and down his cock. He lets out a deep groan, hips slamming deep one last time as he finishes. His cum seems to ignite a fire within you, because you’re coming almost simultaneously with him, despite not even being touched.

You collapse afterwards, dragging yourself to Mark and letting him drape himself over you. You let yourself drift off to sleep, sated and still riding the high.

The demon kisses each of you one last time, drinking in the last remaining parts of your soul, watching as the two humans take their last breaths. “Thanks for the meal, lovelies.” He chuckles, petting your head almost affectionately before walking out into the night sky, not sparing a single glance back.

#mark smut #mark lee smut #jaehyun smut #jung jaehyun smut #nct smut #nct 127 smut #nct dream smut #kpop smut #super m smut #nct u smut #gonna delete any asks abt bts or the old blog so pls dont send any lol #not for bad reasons or anythnig i just dont have anything to say abt them #ummm ok i did edit this but it was originally jin and hoseok so if you see their names that's an accident my b #anyways enjoy kdjsnfj

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extravalgant · 3 years ago

Note

concept: the wizards' cards have textures based on their effects and how often the card is used, like literal playing cards that get worn over time. i know i shared this in the discord but i wanna see how u interpet it with art bc i cant art

AW THANK U FOR COMING TO ME LEAH im flattered u want to see my artistic interpretations omg

I REALLY LIKED THAT IDEA YOU PUT IN THE DISCORD... i never thought that the cards would get worn down over time through heavy use . ITS SUCH A GOOD IDEAAA most of your ideas are so good<33

that being sad i thought about it more in school while i was waiting for a friend to finish up in class and heres what i got

— i feel as if novice decks + cards have a sort of "block" on them - that means there is a spell that prevents newer wizards from putting too much magic into their spells and tiring themselves out quicker. the magic is more stilted, which is why some may fizzle more over others. but they are made specifically for new trainees in mind, so more experienced wizards dont use them.

(i hope the explanation makes sense....)

ANYWAYS . ill do it by groupings so elemental school is up

— i feel as if pyromancers are more prone to burning their cards and decks to a crisp - hence the charred edges around their cards. falmea has to teach novice pyromancers about fire safety and how to safely put out a fire caused by magic (rather than fire caused naturally, imo i think they're two different things)

— as they steadily grow more confident in keeping their flame up and consistent, these types of accidents will stop, and they would stop burning their cards too. however, i think that the charred edges remain simply because it's fire and you're going to expect it to get burned either way. but now there's a more smokey quality to the way that it smells and looks.

also. i think the words and appearance would also get smudged and disappear over time, so they would probably have to rely on their memory or the way that the card feels (or even cast it) to see which one it is.

— ALSO i think all spell cards all look the same, but the corners are marked with the schools colors<3 i think it looks cool

— for thaumaturges i feel as if they would always freeze their cards so that they would be unusable in battle - the magic cant really flow into a spell card when the card itself is just basically a chunk of ice omg

for this, i feel like greyrose would cross some classes with falmea - she teaches the pyromancers how to relax the grip on their flame, and falmea would teach the thaumaturges how to allow themselves to relax, flow out of their rigid state.

— as they learn to control the rate at which their ice magic manifests, their spell cards are instead dusted with a light shade of frost, that which can be easily cleaned off. the words can become a little bit more harder to read and a bit foggier, though, so sometimes they have a chance to cast the wrong spell.

— diviners are 100% wrecking their cards like crazy. some students would have to constantly get new sets of decks or spell cards because storm is such a strong school off the bat - lightning tears through the protective block sometimes, often times making them practically unusable.

some people drop out or switch schools because of this issue - it's too much work to have to constantly replace torn cards or learn how to rework your magic into a better way.

— i think with enough time, diviners can learn how to redirect magic into a more consistent way (because storm magic in general is very inconsistent) -- they are still more likely to tear their cards in a fight, but it starts more at the edges, rather than novices almost tearing huge chunks and bottom/top halves off.

— for conjurers i feel like theyre the types to start bending their cards - perhaps out of nervousness or habit. when you have an uptight teacher like cyrus, i think that kind of manifests itself into other behaviors.

— for some reason, i feel like their cards are more likely to shimmer and shine more. since their school mainly deals with the mind and creativity, the cards and decks reflect that. that being said, it may shimmer too much. to the point where novices can't even make out the creature of the card, and end up summoning the wrong one.

self-explanatory, but sometimes their mind may be clouded by other things, and i like to think that the mind and magic is connected, hence why it will affect the spell cards.

— for necromancers, i feel like when their magic takes the necessary sacrifice, it also ends up taking chunks out of the card too. you can have the right rituals down to perform a spell, but it doesn't mean the sacrificial aspect isn't the part that messes up most novices.

i think after diviners, necromancers come in at a close second at wrecking their cards. sometimes the whole card disappears and you're like "what the heck".

— sacrifice is a core part of the death school, so malorn and dworgyn teach the novices how to make the sacrifices smaller, more localized to the edges of the cards. it's why older, experienced wizards may have cards that look like they've been eaten around the edges.

— for theurgists, i feel like they're the school that doesn't wreck their cards most of the time. there's has to do more with growth than anything else, hence why i think their cards are the ones that are the least replaced.

rather, i think things begin to grow on and around the cards. tiny vines that tear through the spell cards, wrapping around the edges. they can be ignored most of the time, but if a life wizard has their emotions and magic tied particularly close, these vines can and will get out of hand.

— experienced and older theurgists will have these sorts of vines around the corners and edges of their cards, however it may differ on plant type. because magic is different for every person, the flowers that grow there might differ from each person. the spells are worn, but because of life's rejuvinating energy, they look considerably newer compared to other schools.

— AND LAST BUT NOT LEAST... SORCERERS . this one stumped me a lil bit im ngl. i think novices have problems with concentrating on flipping between each of the schools as their attacks and supports demand it.

cards that feel wet and soggy, dried in some places as they use an a elemental school card; cards that look transparent in some places, bits and pieces gone from spiritual schools; spotty and fuzzy writing that comes from using sorcery in their own school.

— ITS... A LOT TO HANDLE. which is also why some people may end up transferring out of balance. i feel like sorcerers may have a class with each of the teachers of the seven schools, to level each of the magics that come with handling all seven of them.

— older sorcerers may get special decks and spell cards to help prevent the spell cards from straight up getting destroyed or unusable. i like to think it has a time factor -- turning back time on the cards appearance so that it lasts longer, just to give a throwback to the sands of time storyline instance in mirage.

#val.answers #wizard101 #w101 #i hope this is what u were looking for omg #this post is... so long.... im sorry to everyone in the tag #BUT YEAHHHH i was thinking on it more at school and i managed to come up with this . i hope u like it<33 #im not sure these explanations make sense but i hope they do omg #long post

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nugnthopkns · 4 years ago

Text

i wish i could disappear

word count: 3.6k

warnings: explicit!fem reader, cursing, feelings of anxiety due to social media harassment, invasion of privacy that border on stalking

recommended listening: brutal | olivia rodrigo

series masterpost: here

a/n: and we're off to the races!! i love this album and olivia so much. there's a shoutout to goon by tobias jesso jr. in here bc it's my favourite album to cry to lmao (highly recommend giving it a listen!). i'm on the fence about this one but am posting it anyways because i don't think i can make it any better

How the fuck do people find your social media?

All of your accounts are private and Kevin makes sure to never tag you on the rare occasion he posts a picture of the two of you together. The wives and girlfriends who have public accounts make sure to never post about you, and you’re careful not to comment on posts often. You’re a private person and though you understand that due to the nature of your relationship with Kevin you intrigue some fans, you don’t want to give them more than you have to.

Despite making no attempt to open up to the public or media, every day you wake up with hundreds of follow requests from complete strangers. At first it was a little exciting knowing that people were curious about your life but after years of the same routine it’s become draining. It takes you nearly twenty minutes each day to weed through them and accept only the people you know personally. Kevin doesn’t actually know how many people want to catch a glimpse of your daily life because you do your best to keep it from him. Knowing would only bring him stress, and you want him to be able to focus on winning games and loving you with his entire heart.

☼☼☼☼

The phone on your desk rings loudly, pulling your attention away from the computer screen that has way too many numbers on it for your liking. The finance department needed someone to proof their audit before sending it away and since you’re the only one in human relations that has a business degree the job landed on your shoulders. Eager to take a break, you pick it up and press the receiver against your ear.

“Hello?”

The voice on the other side laughs gently, but you immediately know it’s Kevin. “Hi sweetheart,” he says warmly, “How’s work?”

“Fine I guess. It’s work, Kev. Nothing terribly exciting happens here,” you explain but continue to fill him in on all the coffee pot gossip you got this morning. Kevin listens as you complain about forgetting your lunch on the counter and chuckles at how upset the situation makes you.

“What if I told you I’m outside your window with a burrito bowl?”

Excited at the possibility of seeing your boyfriend before dinnertime, you whip towards the window and spot Kevin on the sidewalk, waving like an idiot despite knowing your office is on the fifth floor. You hang up quickly after telling him you’ll be down in two minutes and let the receptionist know you’re stepping out for lunch. There’s a line for the elevator so you head to the stairwell, taking them two at a time in your haste. You’re crossing the street to the small park where Kevin has set up a picnic before your co-workers are even out the door.

You plop down on the blanket beside Kevin and lean into him. He presses a sweet kiss to your forehead before passing you the food he brought. You take a bite, sighing at the taste. Kevin knows you better than you know yourself and knew exactly what to get that would satisfy your mounting hunger.

“Thanks babe,” you smile, holding up your fork and offering him a bite. He takes it graciously but makes a face. “What’s the matter?” you laugh as you take the utensil back.

“I fucking hate avocado.”

The two of you eat in relative silence, speaking only when you remember a detail from your morning. Kevin tells you about the drills he’s going to lead at practice in the afternoon and what he plans on cooking for dinner since he’ll be home before you. You insist you can whip something up when you get home but Kevin shakes his head. He reminds you that relationships are give and take, and that you’ve made dinner the past three nights because he had a string of games. You manage to reach a compromise that has you doing the dishes before you have to return to work.

Kevin insists on walking you back to your office even though you protest vehemently. Your relationship is far from secret, and has been the topic of workplace gossip more times than you can count, but after five years you’ve learned to ignore most of it. However, you don’t want your co-workers to think you flaunt your NHL player boyfriend to prove you’re better than them. They all love Kevin, and a couple of them congratulate him on last night’s goal as he follows you down the hall. A few of the newer hires stare in awe and shake his hand, completely blown away that one of Philadelphia’s biggest stars is asking how they like their jobs.

“Pretty soon they’re going to approach you to do PR for us,” you chuckle as you flip the light on and close the door of your office.

His laughter echoes off the walls as a pair of strong arms find a home around your waist. “It would be kind of fun to hear myself crush those radio commercials.”

“Since when do you listen to the radio?”

“Checkmate,” Kevin sighs, pulling you closer. He kisses you quickly, not wanting to give a show to anyone who could be walking past, but it still sends you reeling. You don’t want him to pull away and kiss him again.

You get your way for a few more moments and then Kevin’s leaving with a promise to not burn the house down and wishes for a good rest of the day. Focussed on giving the audit its final once-over you don’t bother pulling your phone from the drawer you had placed it in when you got to work that morning. You turn up the small radio at the corner of your desk and get to work scanning the document for errors. There’s a mistake halfway through that skews the rest of the data and fixing it takes a bit of time, but it isn’t a huge deal. You have nothing else to do except answer a few emails and organize meetings for after the weekend.

An hour or so later you’ve completed all your tasks and debate what to do. It’s too early to leave for the day, so you decide to kill time by checking your phone. You’re expecting a few notifications, perhaps two or three memes in the group chat you share with your friends, but not the hundreds that greet you.

The majority of them are instagram notifications, and assuming they’re just more fans requesting a follow you ignore them, instead heading to your text messages. There’s a picture from Kevin of a dog he found walking home and another from your mom asking why you haven’t called home in a few weeks. However the one from Claude’s wife is the one that piques your curiosity.

Just a heads up that someone posted a pic of you and Kev to one of those stupid wag pages. I filed a request for Instagram to take it down but it’s gotten a lot of traction. Sorry :((

Your heartbeat increases rapidly and a million thoughts fly through your head at a rapid speed. Fingers shaking, you respond with a thanks and open up the dreaded app. You don’t see it immediately, your feed being full of photos belonging to friends and family, but it’s in your messages almost two hundred times. Many of them have text attached and you know there will be a comment about your relationship regardless of which one you open.

Tapping on the most recent message you brace yourself for the worst. The new window opens a photo someone took of you and Kevin while eating lunch in the park across from your office not even three hours prior. It��s grainy and the camera angle is strange, but you’re eating and Kevin is looking somewhere out of frame. The accompanying caption reads Kev and his girlfriend out for lunch today! Follow @philllywagupdates for more :).

You let out a sigh of relief – it could have been a lot worse. Personal pictures of yourself have made it onto pages like that before and most of them they’re paired with mean-spirited captions about your appearance or other trivial matters. Assuming you’re in the clear, you head back to the page of the original message to thank the person for bringing the post to your attention. However, the message accompanying the post is anything but positive.

He can’t even fucking look at you. It’s only a matter of time before he leaves you

The blood in your veins runs cold. You know it’s not true – Kevin’s made it clear you’re the one and truthfully you’re just waiting for a ring – but it doesn’t stop the sting you feel. What could possess someone to say such horrible things? You decide not to respond despite, possibly opening another can of worms with the seen function, and close the app. Leaning back in your office chair you focus on anything but your phone, looking out the window at passersby while regaining your breath. It works for a while, but eventually not knowing what others said eats away at you. You go through every single message to see hundreds of similar comments to the first, with only a few saying they’re glad you’re happy or how posting the picture is a violation of your privacy.

By the time you’re finished your spirit has been crushed. However, it’s also an acceptable time to start the weekend – at least no one in the office will have to see you cry. Things are hastily packed into your bag and you wave a few quick goodbyes before once again taking the stairs. You curse yourself for deciding to walk to work that morning and set off in the direction of home wiping away tears. The last thing you need right now is for someone to recognize you, but you have to get home. Tobias Jesso Jr plays at much too loud a volume through your headphones and Kevin will most certainly remind you it’s bad for your hearing, but the melancholy piano riffs of Goon overpower the thoughts swirling around your head.

Do people really feel that way about me?

Are my friends just too nice to stop inviting me places?

Does Kevin really feel trapped?

Hundreds of similar sentiments and situations cross your mind as you stumble through the streets of downtown Philadelphia, but you force them as far back as possible before opening the door to the apartment you share with Kevin. Hoping to slip inside undetected, you take your shoes off slowly and throw your jacket on the end table instead of hanging it in the closet. Your plan fails somehow and Kevin hears you, greeting you in a goofy apron covered in flour.

“Hey sweetheart,” he smiles, but it drops once your eyes meet and he sees the hurt on your face. “What’s the matter?”

“It’s nothing,” you insist, trying to step around him in pursuit of the bathroom.

Kevin doesn’t buy it and sees right through your feeble words. “It’s not nothing if you’re this upset. If you don’t want to talk now that’s fine, but I think you should get it off your chest.”

You know he’s right, but you also know you can’t tell him the true cause of your despair. “Just some work stuff,” you sigh. “The audit got all fucked up and I had to fix it even though it’s not my job.”

It’s not technically a lie, which makes you feel better, and Kevin buys it. He presses a sweet kiss to your lips in sympathy. “Go take a shower and the gnocchi should be ready by the time you’re done. We can spend the night cuddling on the couch.”

“And watching Selling Sunset?”

“We can watch whatever you want sweetheart,” he chuckles. You part from him with a final kiss and head to the bathroom. Hopefully the steam from the water will carry away the negativity brought on by that damn post.

☼☼☼☼

Time passes but the hateful comments on social media don’t stop. In fact, you’re pretty sure they get worse. It’s so bad that you’ve deleted every app except facebook because you need it for work. Kevin doesn’t notice your abstinence from social media, but he picks up on how you spend more time criticizing yourself or staring off into space. When he pushes you either brush him off or feed some bullshit excuse about how work is getting you down. You know he doesn’t believe you but trusts you enough to come to him when you’re ready to talk.

You aren’t sure if you’ll ever be able to tell Kevin what’s been going on. There’s been scrutiny from social media before, when you first started dating, but it quieted down after the initial media frenzy. He helped you through that but it’s different this time around. Never before have you had strangers tell you your life is worthless or that your boyfriend should end your relationship. Some of the other wags notice your absence on instagram but chalk it up to you just taking a break. They reach out via the group chat and send wishes to see you at the next home game. It’s nice to know they care, but the voice in your head that has grown much larger in recent weeks tells you they don’t truly mean it. This leads you to decline the invite as politely as possible, citing extended work hours for your absence. In reality you’re too anxious to be anywhere that isn’t home or work, petrified someone is going to post something that will add fuel to the flames of those who interrogate you.

It’s another Friday afternoon, and you’re leaving the office early once again. There’s a small craft exhibition taking place around the corner from work and today is the last day it’s open. You had been meaning to go all week, hoping to find something small to add to Kevin’s birthday gift. As you step out of the building there’s a small group of young women, who don’t look old enough to have graduated college, standing off to the side. It fills you with dread, worried that somehow someone found out where you work and the insults are going to start occurring verbally, but you force yourself to be rational. You work fairly close to one of the artsier districts in the city and it’s more than likely they just want to find a cute mural to take pictures in front of.

You pass by and swear you hear them snicker, but you remind yourself you’ve just been jumpy lately. When they peel from their place on the wall and follow behind at a distance you think the coincidences are running out. It seems a little too strange how their movements line up with yours, and you go down a few winding side streets in an attempt to lose them. Part of you feels ridiculous because what group of barely legal girls would track a full-blown adult around a city of nearly two million people, but your life is currently strange enough you can’t be sure. They don’t follow you, and by the time you reach the market your heart rate has returned to normal.

The first few stalls have little to catch your eye, but a few rows in you find a leatherworker who makes adorable wallets. Kevin’s is ridiculously old and falling apart at the seams – his mom bought it for him before the two of you got together. You think a new one will make a perfect addition to the concert tickets you already bought and browse the table for something simple and elegant. A deep brown one with tan braiding around the edges catches your eye and you know it’s the one for Kevin. Checking the price to make sure you have enough cash in your wallet, you approach the shop owner to purchase. The older man has a kind smile that reaches his eyes as he thanks you for purchasing from him.

“No, thank you for making something so beautiful!” you gush. “My boyfriend is going to love it.”

It’s then you hear it – snickering accompanied by the click of a camera. You look over your shoulder to see the same group of girls from before laughing as they huddle over a cell phone, no doubt already starting to broadcast the photo across the internet. Tears prick at the corners of your eyes but you refuse to let them fall. Those girls don’t deserve to see their mission accomplished, but the longer they laugh at you the harder it is to swallow your feelings.

Head held high, you thank the owner one more time before holding your head high and walking past the group. The only way out is past them so you hold your breath and pray they don’t notice you. Unfortunately you aren’t that lucky, and one of them looks up just as you come into earshot.

“If Kevin doesn’t leave you after that sorry excuse for a gift I don’t know what’s wrong with him,” she sneers.

Another one chimes in, “You’re honestly so pathetic.” They all cackle in amusement, and you speed up. The tears flow freely now, and you call an uber even though it will be a ridiculous amount of money. You just want to get home.

The uber driver doesn’t say anything when you get in, though you know it’s strange to be bawling your eyes out at four in the afternoon. You can’t help it – weeks of keeping all the hate to yourself finally got to you and being followed with the sole intent of ridicule is the final straw. At one red light he silently passes you a box of tissues, which you accept gratefully.

Luckily the lobby of your apartment complex is empty and you manage to get to your floor without encountering a familiar face. There’s a few hours until Kevin gets home from his final roadtrip of the season, and if you play your cards right you can get all the tears out and be as normal as possible before he comes through the door. You don’t even bother to put anything away, just head straight to the bathroom to slump against the tub. Sobs rack your body and you lose all sense of time. All you can feel is the hurt you’ve been holding in releasing itself and soaking the material of your blouse.

Kevin finds you laying in the position hours later. He tripped over your shoes coming in the door and immediately knew something was wrong – you always place them neatly on the rack in the closet upon arriving home. Peering through the quiet house for a hint at where you are, he sees the bathroom light on and makes a beeline for the room. It breaks his heart to see you like this, and even more so because he doesn’t know what spurred it on.

“Sweetheart, hey,” he coos, maneuvering his body to sit beside you and pull you into his lap. “What’s the matter?”

You bury your head in his shoulder and clutch the material of his dress shirt as you cry harder at the sound of his voice. Kevin takes your reaction in stride, rubbing circles on your back and working on evening out your breath. He doesn’t pressure you to speak and provides the stability you desperately crave as the world around you spins. An unknown amount of time passes before your tears run out, but spend it all on the bathroom floor curled into Kevin.

“I guess I should have told you sooner,” you mumble, “But I didn’t want to bother you.”

Concern laces Kevin’s features and his eyebrows knit together. “Tell me what?”

“I, uh, have been the subject of some internet hate for the past little bit,” you say sheepishly. It feels stupid to not have told him now, but you can’t change that. “But you were really busy with the season and I wanted to make sure your head was completely focused on the game so I just dealt with it myself. I deleted the apps and tried my best to go about my life. And then today after work I was followed by some people and they said some really hurtful stuff and shit became a little too real.”

“I’m so fucking sorry.”

It’s your turn to be confused. “Why are you sorry Kev? You're Not the one sending me death threats.”

He tucks a loose strand of hair back into your ponytail. “Maybe not, but I still made you feel like you couldn’t talk to me about what was going on. What kind of partner am I?”

“The best one,” you say confidently. “It’s okay, I’m okay. I just want to forget about it right now. Can we just disappear for a little bit?”

Kevin wraps his arms around you tighter, as if he can engulf you to protect from the cruel outside world. “We can do whatever you want. If you want to get out of the city for a bit if you want, or just spend the next few days here away from prying eyes.”

“I love you.”

You say it because you mean it, and if you could scream it from the rooftops you would. Kevin is incredibly easy to love, even when you make it difficult for him to love you back. You know another much longer conversation is coming about everything that has happened recently because communication is the only way to solve problems and Kevin deserves that, but you’re thankful he’s willing to put it to rest for a few more moments.

He cracks a smile for the first time since he’s been home and kisses the crown of your head. “I love you too sweetheart,” he whispers, “Always and forever.”

Things are far from over and though you still never want to show your face in public ever again, you know that Kevin is going to do whatever he can to make things better and that’s enough for you.

☼☼☼☼

taglist: @ricohenrique @tortito @boqvistsbabe @iwantahockeyhimbo @himbos-on-ice @2manytabsopen if you want to be added just shoot me an ask :)

#i don't love this but here it is!!!#one day i'll like the stories i write #kevin hayes imagine #kevin hayes x reader #kevin hayes fic #philadelphia flyers imagine #nhl imagine #nhl fic #hockey imagine #hockey fic #cwrites #sour

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shima-draws · 4 years ago

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Aww yeahhh time for Kiyo to make his entrance!

I wrote an entire essay about him (again whoops) so it’s very long and under the cut for your viewing pleasure ;)

Kiyo

Age: 29

Hair color: Green

Eye color: Brown

Element: Stars

Kiyo, the Guildmaster of the Asterstone Guild! He only took up the position recently and has had the Guildmaster title for about a year and a half. He was the previous record holder for youngest Guildmaster until that title was stolen by Taku. (Kiyo holds a grudge about it but it’s playful.)

Kiyo, just like lots of other characters in ATS, was taken in by the Asterstone Guild at a young age. He’s similar to Shima in that he has no previous memories before showing up outside the guild one day, battered and bruised. (That marks three characters in this series with amnesia now! Wrow) He grew up under the watchful eye and tutelage of the previous Guildmaster, and because of how attached to him she’d gotten, it wasn’t long before he began to express desires to take over the guild once she retired. After a lot of thought and contemplation she eventually handed over the position to him. This initially resulted in a lot of outrage from the guild members because they did not think Kiyo was suited to be the Guildmaster, but he eventually proved them wrong once he stepped up to the plate and showed them he could act like a true leader!

They did have good reason to be nervous about that, though, as Kiyo is normally a very laid-back and carefree person and is strictly non-violent. This has lead into lots of situations where he’s opted out of fighting, leading his guildmates into lots of trouble when they needed a hand, and they labeled him as both a coward for avoiding necessary battles on missions (which is practically a requirement for a guild member going out on dangerous quests, you sort of have to have a battle prowess to take on any foes) and lazy for not participating when he should. Initially this bothered Kiyo a great deal, but the previous guildmaster assured him that not everybody is suited for battling others, and that he can still pave his own way to success in a non-violent manner. While Kiyo may not have a liking for fighting, he has an extremely smooth tongue and is very capable of talking himself out of sticky situations (mostly by bribing. He is VERY good at that lmao). He has a talent for manipulating others into doing what he wants them to, though he rarely uses this on people he considers friends. When Kiyo’s able to complete a mission and win the day without resorting to using their elemental powers in a fight, his guild members have to stop and think for a second like. Hold on. He just did that so easily, he made it look so simple, we really need to stop underestimating him and calling him totally useless (Kiyo: Hey. HEY).

Kiyo’s pretty close to all of his guildmates despite their constant ribbing—the one person he’s close to that adores him completely is Lacie, because he was the person to bring her into the guild (she was around 10, he was 17), and being the first person to genuinely show her kindness that wasn’t for ulterior motives, Lacie became very attached to him. Kiyo acts like an older brother to her, and Lacie supports him in whatever he does. She was thrilled when he took on the Guildmaster position, and he has a very soft spot for her :’) She always sings his praises to anybody outside who will listen, and gets angry at Emrys the one time he called Kiyo incompetent.

After becoming the guildmaster, Kiyo actually does a good job at taking charge despite the general opinions that he wouldn’t. He’s still very casual about it though and is a bit more flexible with how the guild is run, preferring to let the guild members do things their own way and be less strict about the overall rules. He’s basically got the “Do whatever you want!” and “Just wing it!” outlook, and while a lot of the members don’t like this attitude, a lot of them do. At the end of the day they all do respect him, though! While he isn’t a fighter he’s very good at giving orders and keeping things in check around Asterstone lol

Despite Kiyo’s insistence on staying out of battles, he’s actually an extremely skilled fighter, and is probably the strongest and most dangerous person in the entire guild. The issue with this, though, is that whenever he gets into a fight, he tends to get too “serious” and starts going off the walls, treating the battle as a game and something fun and entertaining. This leads into him not knowing when to stop, and nobody else being able to stop him, so he’s seriously injured other people without meaning to—revealing that he’s actually terrified of violence because he loses himself in it, and why he prefers to stay on the sidelines. It’s only when Kiyo gets really serious in battles that a darker side comes out, and where the star mark in his eye appears. It’s only been seen a few rare times throughout his life at the guild, so nobody really thinks much of it or notices it. It’s only after the star mark appears that Kiyo passes out afterwards, having exerted a lot of power and extremely skilled battle prowess nobody has ever seen before. However, after a grand guild tournament where Kiyo faces off against Taku and gets too into it, revealing his star mark and almost slicing Taku’s head clean off, one of Kiyo’s advisors at the guild starts to look into it out of concern for both Kiyo’s safety and that of others.

In the middle of all this mess, Kiyo meets Toru, and after nearly forcing him to join Asterstone, the two start growing closer 👀 Toru joins the squad of not putting up with Kiyo’s bullshit, but that’s only after he gets over his starstruck fanboy phase. Because Toru is newer to the guild and because he’s a non-elemental not suited for fighting, Kiyo instantly becomes attached to him, finding similarities in their preferences and backgrounds. While Toru does think Kiyo’s an idiot sometimes he treats him very kindly, and is usually the first to defend him when the other members playfully tease him, so Kiyo’s just like you are an angel sent from heaven just for me and I adore you. Still though with Toru being a non-elemental Kiyo stresses about his safety CONSTANTLY, even after Toru gets official training in self defense. If Toru’s in danger Kiyo will blow off literally everything else to go rescue him first, which the other members have to get used to as it happens more often than they’d like akdasbmlads

Later down the line the guild is caught up in something terrible, and find themselves being targeted by a descendant of a great inventor and sorcerer (not Elymas this time tho lol). She’s apparently seeking what’s known as the Velle Nova, and has reason to believe Asterstone is in possession of it. After Kiyo’s forced to fight and unleashes the power behind his star mark, the descendant reveals that Kiyo has the Velle Nova, and then the truth finally comes out…

Kiyo remembers everything about his past. Years ago, his town had been caught up in a great disaster, and he was the only survivor. He was forcibly taken in by several scientists, one of them being the ancestor of the girl descendant. They were attempting to recreate the Velle Nova, one of the great sorcerer Elymas’ inventions, which is said to grant any sort of wish imaginable. They wanted to claim that power for themselves and possess the powers of the universe itself. However every attempt had failed, and without the real Velle Nova they couldn’t achieve what they were after. So they decided to pour all of their research into Kiyo instead, and try to create the weapon inside of a human being. This ended up making a twisted, broken version of what should have been the Velle Nova. But Kiyo couldn’t contain its power—it was going to unravel the universe itself and either destroy everything or alter it tragically into something unimaginable. One of the scientists working with the group realized how awful their experiment was and, being a Time elemental, decided to erase Kiyo’s memories (with some help) and send him centuries into the future so that the rest of the group couldn’t get their hands on him. Hence Kiyo winding up outside of Asterstone with no memories, and the truth behind his star mark. It had been granting Kiyo his wish the whole time—the longing to protect the things he cares about by being able to defeat any threat in his way. Of course with the unstable power that he can’t control, it usually leads into disaster;;

Kiyo, now having recovered his memories, realizes that the same thing is going to happen again, and decides to seal himself off to protect Asterstone and the world before the universe unravels. Cue an epic PMD-esque goodbye scene where he bids farewell to Toru, gives him his trademark scarf, and vanishes, escaping into a dimension between time and space where his power can be contained. *Starts playing I Don’t Want To Say Goodbye*

Toru, absolutely devastated by Kiyo’s farewell, decides he’s going to break time and space to save his man, except there’s one small issue...nobody else remembers that Kiyo even existed, and Toru only managed to by some miracle (and also maybe bc Kiyo handed him his scarf idk some magic soul connection thing). But after a while...a long while, maybe like a year or more...they finally unlock the key to finding Kiyo!!

Toru and Kiyo share a tearful reunion, and Kiyo cries a lot because it had been so lonely sitting in that black hole all by himself for so long. Toru begs Kiyo to come back, and suggests that Kiyo separate himself from the Vella Nova in order to live a normal life, but Kiyo informs him that he and the Vella Nova...are the same. They’re the same combined entity! Kiyo says that if he tries to unfuse, he’ll just end up destroying himself, because there’s nothing to separate, being one singular existence. So Toru points out uh hey since you’re the same thing, don’t you get a say on how your power is used? “It’s your power, Kiyo” yes we’re referencing Tododeku here we go

Kiyo’s like hmm uh yeah I guess you have a point;; so we went through all that for nothing huh. And Toru tells him you’re a fucking moron and Kiyo’s like ahh yes but you loved this moron enough to come rescue him from the void ;) And they kinda sorta confess but not really? Kiyo’s too nervous and Toru’s too distracted trying to figure out how to get them out of there but no worries they sort it out later. Kiyo tells him that hey I’m still dangerous and I could lose control at any given moment and Toru’s just like well I guess we’ll just have to stop you and bring you back to yourself. So with the knowledge that he’s got a whole guild of awesome people backing him up and a boy who broke the laws of the universe to save his ass, Kiyo and Toru escape the rift and finally return home together 💕 And that’s pretty much how their arc ends!

Extra personality traits

-He has a really short attention span so this makes things painfully hard on mission briefings, which leads to Kiyo usually screwing up the mission one way or another

-He often charges ahead without thinking and is the first one to become a target in a bad situation. Nobody really feels bad for him though because most of the time it’s his fault for walking right into it LMAO

-He can be very childish sometimes and most of the time he does it on purpose. His guildmates complain that their leader is a whiny, immature brat

-He is an expert on how to annoy people do not test him oh my god

-He can be incredibly selfish;; He’s gotten better with it during recent years, but he got scorned for it a lot when he was younger. He’s also very emotional, and you can read what he’s thinking like an open book! When his friends can’t read him that’s when they start getting worried.

-He has no experience in romance whatsoever and it’s the one (1) thing that can get him flustered. Nobody at the guild has ever seen Kiyo get mildly embarrassed or caught off guard, so they begin to think it’s impossible to make him blush. Then Toru shows up and ruins everything lmao

-He has a great sense of humor and can always make others laugh! He’s also very mischievous and sometimes plays pranks on other members of his guild.

-He’s very stubborn when he wants something and not in a good way. He also pouts a lot when he gets like this

-He loves his guild and his guild members man :'( If any of them are ever in any real danger he's quick to offer himself up first as a target. He's protective of his friends and will do anything to keep them safe!

-A very very affectionate person. He mostly shows this through physical acts like hugging and generally touching other people. In return he also craves affection and gets very soft when it’s given back to him. I’d probably say he’s a little touch starved despite being in close contact with others all the time lol

#Me: Time for a new OC! *Writes a novel-length essay about their background*#Kiyo #Among the Stars #ATS #Shima's OCs #This took me way too long to write fnaskbldads god #Original character #Character art #Character design #Digital art #Art #Character sheet #Character reference #Shima arts #Long post #shima-draws

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henriiiii-1001old · 3 years ago

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sb art + lore dump!

decided i'm gonna talk abt sb in my au!!!!

this doesn't rly contain major spoilers for th canon game, but i will still put it under a "keep reading" section just in case.

i hope you all enjoy it!!

first up, i made a poster for the sb arc of my au!!! i've made a few posters in the past but i don't think i posted any of them (and if anything i'll just be remaking them bc designs for characters have changed a bit. for example, since i changed william's design, chris, michael, mk, and vannie are all gonna be changed), so here's what my style of posters looks like!!!!

i personally just rly like making posters when i feel the urge to bc they're so much fun (even though this one was a bitch to do bc of so many designs and characters and colors. and i improvised the glamrocks bc i hadnt thought of official au designs for them at that point), and while there are mistakes here and there, imo it doesn't rly change the poster much at all, and i still love the overall result!!!

next up, here's a sketch of my finalized glamrock designs along w some hcs for them!!!

- the glamrocks are basically the funtimes 2.0. originally, the funtimes actually weren't murderbots and william added that stuff in after he discovered remnant, but things didnt work out to well bc of baby and the fact that he had to do everything manually. with newer technology of the glamrocks, everything could be programmed into them with no manual controls needed!!! - expanding on the murderglams; - roxy will usually be the one who picks a target and choose a good time to have them be killed. - chica will then recognize voice patterns and use them to lure the person (hopefully a child - in their case bc i ofc dont advocate for actual fucking child murder /srs) to an isolated area. - monty will then use his claws and teeth to quickly kill them and prepare the remnant for collection (it's a whole other process i'm not gonna get into). - freddy then takes the final step by collecting the remnant, and the body if needed, and delivering it to william + the cult. - the glamrocks are actually sentient and were built off of mk's blueprints to assure that. they all have prebuilt personalities though and are not built to be actual people like mk was. they only have the look and sentience of humans to "relate more to people" in a way. the do still have animal characteristics to keep the theme of animal mascots.

and one final thing before i get into general hcs: vanny the bunny is now glitchtrap the bunny!!!

with henry's forced assistance, he and william created an illusion that would allow william to wander free and do what he wants without being suspected. they created an illusion disk to help make the illusion in the first place because none of them wanted to spend months on making a fabric costume (also please note that illusion disks until this point did not exist in my au, so they are not a component in sl).

pros: allows william an adequate disguise and the disk itself can emmit high frequency soundwaves to help stun and shock victims near a 20 ft radius. cons: the disk will run out of power after a few hours, and it will need to be recharged. the soundwaves will become weaker and weaker as the power runs out and the illusion will begin to glitch out, hence the name glitchtrap (as well as vannie calling him that the first few weeks they shared a body)

now for some general hcs!

- gregory is not the main character (he does appear in this au though. just not in act 3). instead, our familiar yet unknown protagonist, sammy, will be the main character along with charley, hope, and her bf gavin (hehe i finally got something for him xddd) - each of the glamrocks are semi controlled by a different cult member, with william overseeing all of them; vannie takes freddy, john takes chica, alex takes monty, and ryan takes roxy - the arc begins with the modern misfits (which is what i decided to call the group of sammy, char, hope, & gavin) visiting the new fazbear location (the pizzaplex) just for shits and giggles. they actually end up liking the place and fall asleep in a plushie storage room. they then wake up and realize that "oh shit we're stuck in the building now. how tf do we get out". they eventually find themselves all being hunted by the glamrocks as basically free remnant (except for sammy because ooo he's importaaant) - unfortunately, the arc ends with sammy being taken by the cult and char gets shot in the arm. annabeth (security girl) takes the remaining members of the misfits and takes them home (she can't really do anything about it because she kinda works for the cult by force now)

i do have a few more hcs, but i feel like i need to flesh them out more before i talk abt them. plus this post is already p long, so that's all for now!!! i hope you guys like these, and stay tuned for more hcs and art hopefully soon!

#fnaf.#fnaf immortals.#fnaf sb.#security breach.#william afton.#sammy ?#glitch draws.#glitch sketches.#the cult of william afton.#hehehehehe :)c #lots of lore today for y'all.#uuuhhh idk how else to tag this lmao.#a2t.#ok i think that's good for now byeeeeee!!

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404fmdtaejin · 4 years ago

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aesthetic & headcanon — bear personality

summary: an old hag and if he has to pick which animal he resembles, fans have already done so — pinning him to the title of ‘a bear’. known for a warm personality, and a more mature one over the years, he welcomes hoobaes more so now than he ever has in the past. always the trusted ‘mentor’ or the ‘friend next door’, he still has his flaws but he takes it a day at a time. headcanon summary: elaboration on personality traits like a bear. warnings: none wc: 783

taejin’s fans have always pinned him to a bear-like figure. in the earlier days of his career, it used to be a fox only because his eyes and the way they creased together would resemble a fox. but as of lately, most people and the general public think he’s a bear more than anything

maybe it’s a test to age, but over the years — he’s carried on with this ‘leader’ like image, where he just seems sensible and sturdy above all? which is why people might get the warm bear feeling that he gives out.

also, his size at 185 cm and his dedication to maintaining his body also give the physical appearance of this ‘big and friendly giant’ next door — all the reason why his physical attributes are more bear than fox at this point.

early on his career he was kind of a fuck boy, not going to lie. the career where decipher peaked (aka shinee discography) it seemed like he was on top of the world, and could do no harm — perhaps here, he’d be more like a fox since he did as he pleased and if he did anything wrong? his parents would’ve paid press off regardless.

he looked down a lot on hoobaes during this time, didn’t want to associate with them. did not want to help them with anything — any schedules requiring his help, he’d avoid. tell bc he was too busy to do any of it.

it was only more recently that he adopted this bear mantra.

this might be because he’s just gotten older and as the cliche goes — the older you are, the wiser you get with experience. now, there’s more pity and ability to empathize with his hoobaes as decipher’s now on their thirteenth year of their career while some of these new faces are starting off. this means, he knows what it’s like albeit the small changes that come from a decade.

his prime time passed, so now he’s just reeling in the downfall of his idol career and taking his sweet time with it. this causes for more generous smiles, and hands extended to anyone that wishes for his help.

of course, he’s not the overarching sunbae that says ‘well, in my day...’ or he doesn’t try to be at least. instead, he just sticks to himself and if anyone asks him straight up, he’ll extend his own hand and tell them to come over for a beer or two while they discuss things and he’ll try to help to the best of his ability.

plus, his new face in acting has given him a more humble mindset as he still feels he has to prove a lot with his acting. thus, he adopts this rookie mindset and that adds to his ability to get these newer groups in their rookie-idol mindset.

still, he has his flaws which are not very bear-like which include excessive drinking and no sleep. he keeps this underwraps, does not see it as a problem quite yet

he also spends a lot of time or at least tries to keep in touch with his inner circle a lot — this means, texting his members and asking how they’re doing. hitting up old friends inviting them over, and even catching up over a nice meal. it’s the small things that prove that he’s just a big ol’ hag at this point, and now just would rather spend time inside than go out and make a fuss.

of course, this mindset has its downfalls — it’s because he’s adopted this whole sunbae moniker and image that he never actually helps himself. he has internalized issues, but rarely does he get the chance to talk them or voice them to his inner circles. i guess it’s kind of sad? but not really because he’s just gotten used to this flow of events — doesn’t know how to voice his struggles ie) alcoholism, and insomnia. and quite frankly, he’s too busy at the moment to sit down and seek out the notion that he has problems.

all in all — he’s your neighbor next door. the big bear you can come to when you have issues or just want to unwind to someone who will listen. he keeps his ears always open, available to anyone. his phone’s always on, so you can reach him and he’ll certainly get back to you at the end of the day at least.

yes, it’s not very bear of him to have kanye quotes — but i thought these were somewhat fitting as he’s trying to find inner peace with his life while being the earnest version of himself.

#i hate rillakuma or w/e the name is #but i could only find pics of that damn bear #김태진이 왜 그럴까 → 생각 #(queued)

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talesfantastic · 5 years ago

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Mun Things and Fandom Notes

about the mun. fill this out & tag a few people you’d like to get to know better !

tagged by the lovely @vetlanwrites tysm tagging some people I haven’t tagged before: @amalgammuses, @animus-inspire, @kychchc, @rotinthedark, @warofthebeasts & YOU!

name: my name is [ loud music interrupts ] nickname: you can call me Kat or KF! preferred pronouns: she/her age range: 30+ favorite animal: cats pets: cat and a dog tattoos/piercings: I had my ears pierced several times and they won’t stay pierced so I gave up on anything -shrug- star sign: virgo! I’m an August bby how long have you been in this fandom?: doing just the ones I currently have muses for, and not the ones I’ve only talked about -

Dragonball(Z) - I’ve been writing in DBZ since... oh geez, the late 90′s? I think the first fic I ever posted was DBZ and it was around that time. I didn’t start rping it until like, early 00′s though.

Final Fantasy - I actually dabbled in 9 a little bit around the time it came out in ‘00 (my friend had it!) but I wouldn’t say I really did much until I really got into 7, and that was around... geez, ‘05? I rped it a little with a friend around then but I didn’t really start writing it much until nearly ‘10. #latetotheparty Yet I do consider it my “home” fandom - I always come back to it.

Harvest Moon/Story of Seasons - early ‘00s! My first HM/SoS game was Friends of Mineral Town on my trusty GBA and I love it so much to this day. SO excited for the remake!

Legend of Zelda - I really, really loved Ocarina of Time from the get-go when I got it on the N64 in ‘98 (I got it again for the GameCube and the 3DS and would totally buy it for the Switch, just sayin.) Majora’s Mask creeped me out a bit and was stressful but I liked it, too. And then of course later titles like Twilight Princess were just... -chef’s kiss- but I didn’t really dig into the fandom until ‘10-’11 when I started rping Link with a friend and briefly tried joining a forum rp group (shoutout to ZRPG!) with an OC

Marvel Cinematic Universe - I want to say around ‘12, when Avengers came out? Like, I’d seen Iron Man but I didn’t really dig into it until then.

Pokémon - late 90′s / early 00′s because I first started my Pkmn journey playing Gold and Crystal. While I didn’t write fanfic or rp it, I definitely had headcanons and a lot of feels.

Sailor Moon - early 90′s! I first watched the anime as it came out, though I’ve since forgotten most of that and only have the manga/crystal in my head to run interpretations off of. It was so pretty tho.

Stardew Valley - a newer fandom for me, I really only started getting “into” it about a year ago, but man... I love it, I really do

Star Wars - despite early access to the OT as a kidlet, I didn’t actually get “into” Star Wars until the Prequels in ‘99 (fite me) when I fell in love with Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan and promptly, voraciously, dove into fixit and timetravel fanfic. By the time KOTOR came out in ‘03 I was hooked.

Threads of Fate - I think I got into this one on the ground floor, so to speak. My friend had just gotten it and I borrowed it from her and my brother’s PS1 in ‘00 and that was it, I was in love.

why did you choose this specific character/s?: under a cut bc I have like... nearly 30 muses now

I’m doing alphabetical order (by fandom / first name) bc it’s just easier to go down my list:

tl;dr I picked them all because I love them. Read on to find out why. Click their names to read their bios!

Dragonball Z

Vegeta - oh man, actually one of the first characters I ever rp’d or wrote in fic, and that’s saying something. I picked him because I love him. He’s an absolute ass, but he grows so much throughout Z. (I have yet to see Super, hoping to one day remedy that but we’ll see!) I guess I picked him up for nostalgia’s sake? I really love the character and think there’s a lot of growth yet to see buried under that pride and ego. If you can unearth it.

Final Fantasy

Angeal Hewley (FF7) - actually my first muse on Tumblr, back in... oh, 2013? The blog has been deleted, but he was the first muse I ever played seriously out of FF7. There’s parts of Angeal that really resonate with me, enough that - when I was a less experienced writer - I got tangled up in him a bit too much, made him a bit too personal, and I realized I had to take a step back from writing him. But I love Angeal, and after some time had passed, having written him in various fics, I’ve felt confident adding him... even if I haven’t done anything with him here yet.

Cait Sith (FF7) - I know a lot of people see Cait Sith as all sorts of negative things, but frankly I adore the little guy. And I guess I took him on partially because I couldn’t take Reeve on and not take Cait on, but partially because I see so much in him that could be interesting to explore and would really, really love to. (Any Reeve’s or AVALANCHE - or Turks! - come at me!)

Chaos (FF7) - I picked Chaos up on a whim, as far as Tumblr goes. I really enjoy rping him/Vincent off Tumblr and writing him in fics, and I suppose I just wanted to present a different side of him than I usually see. I’ve even had a thread that has a great deal of promise so I think it was worth it.

Genesis Rhapsodos (FF7) - my third FF7 blog, I think? It’s still up, though obviously not in use, just because I’d put so much work into it. I really adore Genesis, and love writing him. I love his sass and flare, but I love that he’s deeper than all the fire and flamboyance, if you’re willing to look past that. I’m lucky that I’ve had some lovely partners to explore him with, though I’d still kill for an Angeal to throw him at. XD Or a Sephiroth, for that matter.

Lazard Deusericus (FF7) - Lazard, my second FF7 blog and an unexpected love. I picked him up because I had recently started writing him in earnest with an off-Tumblr rp partner ( @thegeeksqueaks ) and was really enjoying him, and hadn’t seen him on Tumblr yet so thought I might get more partners that way. (It turned out there were a couple but they were inactive.) His first blog was accidentally deleted - over five years worth of character development and relationships - so after briefly working him up again solo I brought him over here. He’s not getting the same level of attention but it’s worth it not to be juggling blogs.

Reeve Tuesti (FF7) - pre-Remake, most of the Reeve rpers had gone inactive (shoutout to the fabulous @engineering-robotics and @animus-inspire for coming back!) and just... I love the character too much not to see him in the RPC. Of course, I love to write him period myself so I’d love more threads there but regardless he’s so much fun.

Tristan Pierce (FF7 OC) - Triiiiiiiiiis. Tristan was actually born as an NPC off of Lazard’s blog, who took a life on his own because he was just... so full of life. He actually had his own blog, too! I’ve barely done anything with him here, but I still keep him just because he gives me feels and he’s just neat. (He does still appear in the background of Lazard’s threads though.)

Harvest Moon / Story of Seasons

Iris (SoS) - I actually picked up Iris as a muse first for a fantastic HM/SoS/SDV/etc rp group I’m in a couple years ago, and liked playing her so much I thought I’d bring her here. Elegant lady novelist? Yes please.

Neil (ANB) - unlike Iris and Trent, I haven’t written Neil anywhere else, but he’s my love from A New Beginning and just... he seems like he’d be fun to write? I’d love to flesh him out.

Doctor/Trent (FoMT/MFoMT; DS/CUTE) - Trent, like Iris, is one I write for the rp group and I legit picked him up because of the opportunity for h/c I am not sorry. But seriously though, he’s grown on me so much and I love my awkward doctor.

Legend of Zelda

Midna (Twilight Princess) - TP is one of my absolute favorite Zelda games, and Midna a favorite character. There’s just so much to her you don’t get to see that I was really hoping to get to dig into, still hope one day to. We’ll see. Worth keeping on roster.

Revali (Breath of the Wild) - my newest addition! I keep saying in complete seriousness “Genesis with more feathers” but seriously, I may have a type? I love him so much and wanted to see more of him, and by god if I have to do it myself so be it. (I have been playing a ton of BOTW lately which probably has a lot to do with it. XD)

Sheik (Ocarina of Time) - I love them so much. OoT didn’t have a ton of character building, but the sheer implications of the character speaks volumes that I want to explore. I’m lucky enough to be getting the chance to, too.

Marvel Cinematic Universe

Tony Stark - did I mention I have a type? I feel he makes a good argument for it. I originally picked Tony up because I just fell head over heels for the character in the first couple Iron Man movies + Avengers. I... am less in love with him in the later movies, not gonna lie, and am so far behind on lore that I’m considering dropping him. But yeah, originally picked him up just because he had so much potential. Thx Disney, great job there.

Pokémon (gameverse)

Lily Hart (HG/SS OC) - another OC of mine, this time for a fandom that... I only really know through the games, as opposed to manga/anime. I picked her up because I really liked the idea of doing events or little ask things with her, and still may try to initiate some more of those. We’ll see?

Sailor Moon (manga/Crystal)

Ami Mizuno/Sailor Mercury - I actually picked Ami up because of a plot with @magicalxgirlsxrp where we were splitting up the Inners and the Shitennou for some mega threads. XD But yeah, I do like her. Even if she’s a challenge to write sometimes because she’s very much not like me, and very much smarter.

Kunzite - Kunzite I have always loved, always, and I’ve had him on here because I really wanted to explore him more. I love him even more after the teasing in Crystal of what might have been, be still my shippy heart.

Mamoru Chiba/Endymion/Tuxedo Mask - super fond of Mamoru, too; I didn’t care for him so much in the 90′s anime, but in the manga and Crystal I really became more fond. I do a few things differently, I think, but don’t we all? I picked him up for that very reason, in fact.

Minako Aino/Sailor Venus - Minako is really interesting to me because there’s so much more to her than her airheaded, bubbly persona that fits her like a glove... but is just as superficial. I mean, she’s sunny and happy but she’s also the OG Senshi, the leader of the Inners, a powerful, commanding fighter - she’s complex, and I really wanted to explore that + getting to have fun with her bubbliness.

Nephrite - another picked up from @magicalxgirlsxrp‘s enabling. But I do find him really interesting so it works out well. Haven’t done a lot with him, but we have plans. Plans I’m looking forward to.

Stardew Valley

M. Rasmodius - I knew I really wanted to do something with SDV, once I got to playing it, but I wasn’t sure who. I thought about Sebastian and Elliot, but already had interacted with a couple who were just fantastic. So instead, I did a good fallback of mine - because I never, ever get tired of playing mages. Ever. XD

Star Wars

HK-47 (KOTOR) - the attitude. I wanted to write HK entirely because of the scorching levels of sass from this droid.

Liana Raine (SWTOR f!JC) - the Jedi Consular storyline is one of my favorites out of all of SWTOR (tied with the Inquisitor, but I’m revamping her) and I really just wanted to keep playing with it even once I’d done the dedicated storyline.

Revan (KOTOR LS!F) - give me female Revan you cowards. -ahem- I have feels about Revan, okay? I love her so, so much - she even had her own blog, I love her that much. I would absolutely love to do something more with her but I will hold on to her if for no other reason than to make sure at least one black, female Revan exists in the world. (I want all the timetravel and crossover threads, hit me up.)

Tharan Cedrax (SWTOR) - another for attitude, really, and also definitely my type. XD He’s charming, he’s snarky, he’s sassy, he’s brilliant... I very much like Tharan and really felt he, like most of the companions, deserved more screentime. So, I’m here to give it to him.

Threads of Fate (Dewprism)

Duke - he’s so cool. I mean, he’s a dork, but his powers are amazing and he’s just a fun, incredibly upbeat character to play. And well, anything to spread my love of that teeny fandom.

Fancy Mel - Mel hits all the sweet spots for a mage character. She’s got flavor, she’s got amazing powers, and she had room to create a fantastic backstory with amazing crossover potential. Is she a bit OP? Yes. But she has no intention of using it for anything but her amusement/whimsy.

Rod the Bladestar - I love Rod. I love his oddly genteel manners, I love how he’s unwittingly sexist but quickly cleans up his act when put straight, I love how driven and passionate he is. Could do without such a typically-Square-outfit, but you can’t have everything. (In the right artists’ hands, he might even be pretty amazing, actually.)

Did you read all of that? Amazing. Any of them strike your interest? Hmu and maybe we could plot a thread! :eyes:

Also I sincerely apologize to mobile users who had to read all that because Tumblr can’t get it’s act together.

#about the mun #roleplay notes #long post

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talhaghafoor2019-blog · 6 years ago

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Electronic Music Styles - Electronic Music

Acid Jazz

The music played by a generation raised on jazz as well as funk and hip-hop, Acid Jazz used elements of all three; its existence as a percussion-heavy, primarily live music placed it closer to jazz and Afro-Cuban than any other dance style, but its insistence on keeping the groove allied it with funk, hip-hop, and dance music. The term itself first appeared in 1988 as both an American record label and the title of an English compilation series that reissued jazz-funk music from the ’70s, called “rare groove” by the Brits during a major mid-’80s resurgence. A variety of acid jazz artists emerged during the late ’80s and early ’90s: live bands such as Stereo MC’s, James Taylor Quartet, the Brand New Heavies, Groove Collective, Galliano, and Jamiroquai, as well as studio projects like Palm Skin Productions, Mondo Grosso, Outside, and United Future Organization.

Acid Techno

When the squelch of mid-’80s acid house music was given time to sink into the minds of impressionable youths, they became quite influenced by the sound. Many who began to make music in the early ’90s applied the sound to harder techno instead of the warm sounds of classic Chicago house. Quite similar to early German trance, Acid Techno includes the earlier recordings of Aphex Twin, Plastikman, and Dave Clarke, among others.

Alternative Rap

Alternative Rap refers to hip-hop groups that refuse to conform to any of the traditional stereotypes of rap, such as gangsta, funk, bass, hardcore, and party rap. Instead, they blur genres, drawing equally from funk and pop/rock, as well as jazz, soul, reggae, and even folk. Though Arrested Development and the Fugees managed to cross over into the mainstream, most alternative rap groups are embraced primarily by alternative rock fans, not hip-hop or pop audiences.

Ambient music evolved from the experimental electronic music of ’70s synth-based artists like Brian Eno and Kraftwerk, and the trance-like techno dance music of the ’80s. Ambient is a spacious, electronic music that is concerned with sonic texture, not songwriting or composing. It’s frequently repetitive and it all sounds the same to the casual listener, even though there are quite significant differences between the artists. Ambient became a popular cult music in the early ’90s, thanks to ambient techno artists like the Orb and Aphex Twin.

Ambient Breakbeat

Ambient Breakbeat refers to a narrow subgenre of electronic acts with less energy than the trip-hop or funky breaks, but with a pronounced hip-hop influence to their music. Some of the more downtempo works on British labels like Mo’Wax and Ninja Tune paved the way for New York’s DJ Wally (of the Liquid Sky Records brigade) and British artists such as Req, each good examples of the style.

Ambient Dub

Coined by the Beyond label for its compilation series of the same name, Ambient Dub has since been generalized by artists, critics, and audiences alike to refer to any form of rhythmic, usually beat-oriented ambient using the tastes, textures, and techniques of Jamaican dub-style production (e.g. reverb, emphasis on bass and percussion, heavy use of effects). Although the term has fallen out of favor due to the fevered intermingling of styles characteristic of post-rave electronica, it remains useful in demarcating the denser, more electronic applications of dub from the more hip-hop derived styles of downtempo, atmospheric beat music. Artists include the Orb, Higher Intelligence Agency, Sub Dub, Techno Animal, Automaton, and Solar Quest.

Ambient House

An early categorical marker used to distinguish newer wave ambient artists such as the Orb, the KLF, Irresistible Force, Future Sound of London, and Orbital, Ambient House was often applied indiscriminately to designate dance music not necessarily just for dancing. In its more rigorous application, ambient house implied music appropriating certain primary elements of acid house music-mid-tempo, four-on-the-floor beats; synth pads and strings; soaring vocal samples-used in a dreamier, more atmospheric fashion. It’s since been replaced (or rather, some would argue, complicated) by a barrage of more specific terms and is rarely used.

Ambient Pop

Ambient Pop combines elements of the two distinct styles which lend the blissed-out genre its name-while the music possesses a shape and form common to conventional pop, its electronic textures and atmospheres mirror the hypnotic, meditative qualities of ambient. The mesmerizing lock-groove melodies of Kraut-rock are a clear influence as well, although ambient pop is typically much less abrasive. Essentially an extension of the dream pop that emerged in the wake of the shoegazer movement, it’s set apart from its antecedents by its absorption of contemporary electronic idioms, including sampling, although for the most part live instruments continue to define the sound.

Ambient Techno

A rarefied, more specific reorientation of ambient house, Ambient Techno is usually applied to artists such as B12, early Aphex Twin, the Black Dog, Higher Intelligence Agency, and Biosphere. It distinguished artists who combined the melodic and rhythmic approaches of techno and electro-use of 808 and 909 drum machines; well-produced, thin-sounding electronics; minor-key melodies and alien-sounding samples and sounds-with the soaring, layered, aquatic atmospheres of beatless and experimental ambient. Most often associated with labels such as Apollo, GPR, Warp, and Beyond, the terminology morphed into “intelligent techno” after Warp released its Artificial Intelligence series (although the music’s stylistic references remained largely unchanged).

Bass Music

Springing from the fertile dance scenes in Miami (freestyle) and Detroit (electro) during the mid-’80s, Bass Music brought the funky-breaks aesthetic of the ’70s into the digital age with drum-machine frequencies capable of pulverizing the vast majority of unsuspecting car or club speakers. Early Miami pioneers like 2 Live Crew and DJ Magic Mike pushed the style into its distinctive booty obsession, and Detroit figures like DJ Assault, DJ Godfather, and DJ Bone melded it with techno to create an increasingly fast-paced music. Bass music even flirted with the charts during the early ’90s, as 95 South’s “Whoot (There It Is)” and 69 Boyz’ “Tootsee Roll” both hit the charts and went multi-platinum.

Bhangra started in Northern India, and shows what happens when you blend traditional music with electronic dance sensibilities. It has now spread to other parts of Asia and the UK.

Big Beat

Rescuing the electronica community from a near fall off the edge of its experimental fringe, Big Beat emerged in the mid-’90s as the next wave of big dumb dance music. Regional pockets around the world had emphasized the “less intelligent” side of dance music as early as 1994, in reaction to the growing coterie of chin-stroking intellectuals attached to the drum’n’bass and experimental movements. Big beat as a distinct movement finally coalesced in 1995-96 around two British labels: Brighton’s Skint and London’s Wall of Sound. The former-home to releases by Fatboy Slim, Bentley Rhythm Ace, and Lo-Fidelity Allstars-deserves more honors for innovation and quality, though Wall of Sound was founded slightly earlier and released great singles by Propellerheads, Wiseguys, and Les Rythmes Digitales. Big beat soon proved very popular in America as well, and artists attached to City of Angels Records (the Crystal Method, Überzone, Lunatic Calm, Front BC) gained a higher profile thanks to like-minded Brits. Other than Fatboy Slim, the other superstar artists of big beat were the Chemical Brothers and Prodigy, two groups who predated the style (and assisted its birth). Both the Chemical Brothers and Prodigy were never tight fits either, given productions that often reflected the more intelligent edge of trip-hop, and rarely broke into the mindless arena of true big beat.

The sound of big beat, a rather shameless fusion of old-school party breakbeats with appropriately off-the-wall samples, was reminiscent of house music’s sampladelic phase of the late ’80s as well as old-school rap and its penchant for silly samples and irresistible breaks. Though the sample programming and overall production was leaps and bounds beyond its predecessors, big beat was nevertheless criticized for dumbing down the electronica wave of the late ’90s. Even while recordings by the Chemical Brothers, Prodigy, and Fatboy Slim hit the American charts and earned positive reviews-granted, from rock critics-worldwide, many dance fans rejected the style wholesale for being too reliant on gimmicky production values and played-out samples. Big beat lasted a surprisingly long time, given the restraints of a style reliant on the patience of listeners who’ve heard the same break dozens of times, as well as the patience of DJs to hunt local thrift stores to find interesting samples on old instructional records.

Dance Hall Reggae

This dance music style takes reggae and electrifies it, strips down the beat to the essentials of drums and bass, and adds a vocalist doing rapid-fire “toasting” over the beats. Several pop groups have adopted this style and had hits, but the results are pretty diluted compared to the original.

Dance-Pop

An outgrowth of disco, Dance-Pop featured a pounding club beat framing simple, catchy melodies closer to fully-formed songs than pure dance music. It’s primarily the medium of producers, who write the songs and construct the tracks, picking an appropriate vocalist to sing the song. These dance divas become stars, but frequently the artistic vision is the producer’s. Naturally, there are some major exceptions-Madonna and Janet Jackson have had control over the sound and direction of their records-but dance-pop is music that is about image, not substance.

Dark Ambient

Brian Eno’s original vision of ambient music as unobtrusive musical wallpaper, later fused with warm house rhythms and given playful qualities by the Orb in the ’90s, found its opposite in the style known as Dark Ambient. Populated by a wide assortment of personalities-ranging from aging industrial and metal experimentalists (Scorn’s Mick Harris, Current 93’s David Tibet, Nurse with Wound’s Steven Stapleton) to electronic boffins (Kim Cascone/PGR, Psychick Warriors Ov Gaia), Japanese noise artists (K.K. Null, Merzbow), and latter-day indie rockers (Main, Bark Psychosis)-dark ambient features toned-down or entirely missing beats with unsettling passages of keyboards, eerie samples, and treated guitar effects. Like most styles related in some way to electronic/dance music of the ’90s, it’s a very nebulous term; many artists enter or leave the style with each successive release.

Detroit Techno

Early Detroit Techno is characterized by, alternately, a dark, detached, mechanistic vibe and a smooth, bright, soulful feel (the latter deriving in part from the Motown legacy and the stock-in-trade between early techno and the Chicago-style house developing simultaneously to the southwest). While essentially designed as dance music meant to uplift, the stark, melancholy edge of early tracks by Cybotron, Model 500, Rhythm Is Rhythm, and Reese also spoke to Detroit’s economic collapse in the late ’70s following the city’s prosperous heyday as the focal point of the American automobile industry.

The music’s oft-copied ruddy production and stripped-down aesthetic were largely a function of the limited technology available to the early innovators (records were often mastered from two-track onto cassette). The increasingly sophisticated arrangements of contemporary techno (on through to hardcore and jungle), conversely, has much to do with the growth and increasing affordability of MIDI-encoded equipment and desktop digital audio. Second- and third-wave Detroit techno, too, has gained considerably in production, although artists such as Derrick May, Juan Atkins, and Kenny Larkin have sought to combine the peerless sheen of the digital arena with the compositional minimalism of their Detroit origins.

No longer simply contained within the 313 area code, Detroit techno has become a global phenomenon (partly as a result of the more widespread acclaim many of the original Detroit artists have found in other countries), buoyed by the fact that many of the classic early tracks remain in print (available through Submerge). Detroit’s third wave began re-exploring the aesthetic commitment of the music’s early period, with hard-hitting beats (Underground Resistance, Jeff Mills), soulful grooves (Kenny Larkin, Stacey Pullen), and a renewed interest in techno’s breakbeat roots (Aux 88, Drexciya, “Mad” Mike, Dopplereffekt).

Disco marked the dawn of dance-based popular music. Growing out of the increasingly groove-oriented sound of early ’70s and funk, disco emphasized the beat above anything else, even the singer and the song. Disco was named after discotheques, clubs that played nothing but music for dancing. Most of the discotheques were gay clubs in New York, and the DJs in these clubs specifically picked soul and funk records that had a strong, heavy groove. After being played in the disco, the records began receiving radio play and respectable sales. Soon, record companies and producers were cutting records created specifically for discos. Naturally, these records also had strong pop hooks, so they could have crossover success. Disco albums frequently didn’t have many tracks-they had a handful of long songs that kept the beat going. Similarly, the singles were issued on 12″ records, which allowed for extended remixes. DJs could mix these tracks together, matching the beats on each song since they were marked with how fast they were in terms of beats per minute. In no time, the insistent, pounding disco beat dominated the pop chart, and everyone cut a disco record, from rockers like the Rolling Stones and Rod Stewart to pop acts like the Bee Gees and new wave artists like Blondie. There were disco artists that became stars-Donna Summer, Chic, the Village People, and KC & the Sunshine Band were brand names-but the music was primarily a producer’s medium, since they created the tracks and wrote the songs. Disco lost momentum as the ’70s became the ’80s, but it didn’t die-it mutated into a variety of different dance-based genres, ranging from dance-pop and hip-hop to house and techno.

Downbeat is a quite generic term sometimes used to replace ambient house and ambient techno, considering that the amount and complexity of electronic listening music described under the “ambient” umbrella had made the terms practically useless by the mid-’90s. It often implies the use of moderate breakbeats instead of the steady four-four beats of most ambient house or ambient techno. The style also breaches territory claimed by trip-hop, ambient techno, and electro-techno. In its widest possible definition, downbeat is any form of electronic music created for the living room instead of the dance floor.

Dream-Pop

Dream Pop is an atmospheric subgenre of alternative rock that relies on sonic textures as much as melody. Dream pop often features breathy vocals and processed, echo-laden guitars and synthesizers. Though the Cocteau Twins, with their indecipherable vocals and languid soundscapes, are frequently seen as the leaders of dream pop, the genre has more stylistic diversity than their slow, electronic textures. Dream pop also encompasses the post-Velvet Underground guitar rock of Galaxie 500, as well as the loud, shimmering feedback of My Bloody Valentine. It is all tied together by a reliance on sonic texture, both in terms of instruments and vocals.

Dub derives its name from the practice of dubbing instrumental, rhythm-oriented versions of reggae songs onto the B-sides of 45 rpm singles, which evolved into a legitimate and accepted style of its own as those re-recordings became forums for engineers to experiment with the possibilities of their mixing consoles. The practice of re-recording reggae tracks without vocals dated back to 1967, when DJs found that dancehall crowds and partygoers greatly enjoyed being given the opportunity to sing the lyrics themselves. Around 1969, some DJs began talking, or “toasting,” over these instrumentals (known as “versions”), frequently reinterpreting the already familiar original lyrics. The most important early DJ was U-Roy, who became renowned for his ability to improvise dialogues with the recorded singers; U-Roy ran the sound system owned by engineer King Tubby, who mixed all of the instrumental tracks over which his DJ toasted. Eventually, Tubby began to experiment with remixing the instrumental tracks, bringing up the level of the rhythm section, dropping out most or all of the vocals, and adding new effects like reverb and echo. The results were seen by many reggae fans as stripping the music down to its purest essence. 45-rpm singles with dub versions on the B-sides became ubiquitous, and King Tubby’s credit on the back soon became a drawing card in and of itself. Full-fledged dub albums began to appear in 1973, with many highlights stemming from Tubby’s mixes for producers Bunny Lee and Augustus Pablo (the latter of whom also played the haunting melodica, which became one of dub’s signature added elements); other key early producers included the minimalistic Keith Hudson and the colorful, elaborate Lee “Scratch” Perry. By 1976, dub’s popularity in Jamaica was second only to Rastafarian roots reggae, and the sound had also found acceptance the UK (thanks largely to the Island label), where roots reggae artists like Burning Spear and Black Uhuru became just as well-known for their forays into dub. The Mad Professor and the experimental Adrian Sherwood helped Britain’s dub scene remain vital in the ’80s, but in spite of skilled newcomers like Scientist, Prince Jammy, and Mikey Dread, Jamaican popular taste had by then shifted to DJ toasters and lyrical improvisers, which led to the prominence of dancehall and ragga. The downtempo atmospherics and bass- and rhythm-heavy textures of dub had a lasting influence outside of reggae, beginning with Public Image Ltd.’s 1979 Metal Box/Second Edition album; during the ’90s, dub was frequently incorporated into the melting-pot eclecticism of underground avant-garde rock, and Britain’s thriving electronica/drum’n’bass scene owed a great deal to dub’s mixing and production techniques.

Blending ’70s funk with the emerging hip-hop culture and synthesizer technology of the early ’80s produced the style known as Electro. But what seemed to be a brief fad for the public-no more than two or three hits, including Afrikaa Bambaataa’s “Planet Rock” and Grandmaster Flash’s “The Message,” neither of which made the pop Top 40-was in fact a fertile testing ground for innovators who later diverged into radically different territory, including Dr. Dre (who worked with the World Class Wreckin’ Cru) and techno godfather Juan Atkins (with Cybotron). Electro also provided an intriguing new direction for one of the style’s prime influences. Herbie Hancock, whose 1973 Headhunters album proved a large fusion hit, came storming back in 1983 with the electro single “Rockit.” Despite its successes (documented in full on Rhino’s four-disc Electric Funk set), the style was quickly eclipsed by the mid-’80s rise of hip-hop music built around samples (often from rock records) rather than musical synthesizers. Nevertheless, many techno and dance artists continued harking back to the sound, and a full-fledged electro revival emerged in Detroit and Britain during the mid-’90s.

Electro-Acoustic

Electro-Acoustic music thrives in more unfamiliar territory; the styles that emerge are often dictated by the technology itself. Rather than sampling or synthesizing acoustic sounds to electronically replicate them, these composers tend to mutate the original timbres, sometimes to an unrecognizable state. True artists in the genre also create their own sounds (as opposed to using the preset sounds that come with modern synthesizers). In progressive electro-acoustic music, the electronics play an equal if not greater part in the overall concept. Acoustic instruments performed in real time are usually processed through reverb, harmonizing, and so on, which adds an entirely new dimension to the player’s technique. At best, this music opens up new worlds of listening, thinking, and feeling. At worst, progressive electronic artists worship technology for its own sake, relinquishing the heart and soul of true artistic expression.

Electro-Techno

Influenced by the early-’80s phenomenon of electro-funk but also reliant upon Detroit techno and elements of ambient house, Electro-Techno emerged in the mid-’90s when a full-fledged electro flashback hit London clubs, complete with body-rocking robots and vocoder-distorted vocals, inspired by original electro classics like Afrikaa Bambaataa’s “Planet Rock.” The actual fad-spearheaded by Clear Records and led by artists like Jedi Knights, Tusken Raiders, and Gescom (masks for Global Communication, µ-Ziq, and Autechre, respectively)-was quick in passing, but it inspired some excellent music during the latter half of the ’90s, including the work of England’s Skam Records, Sweden’s Dot Records and, closer to the original sources, Detroit’s Drexciya and AUX 88.

Electronic is a broad designation that could be construed to cover many different styles of music-after all, electronic instrumentation has become commonplace, and much dance-oriented music from the late ’80s on is primarily, often exclusively, electronic. However, in this case, it refers mostly to electronic music as it took shape early on, when artists were still exploring the unique possibilities of electronically generated sound, as well as more recent music strongly indebted to those initial experiments. Avant-garde composers had long been fascinated with the ways technology could be used to produce previously unheard textures and combinations of sounds. French composer Edgard Varèse was a pioneer in this field, building his own electronic instruments as early as the 1920s and experimenting with tape loops during the ’50s. Varèse’s work was hugely influential on American avant-gardist John Cage and German composer Karlheinz Stockhausen, both of whom greatly expanded the compositional structures in which electronic devices could be incorporated. But electronic music didn’t really begin to enter the wider consciousness until around the ’70s, when sequencers and synthesizers became more affordable and easier to obtain. Wendy Carlos’ 1968 Switched-On Bach album, a selection of Bach pieces performed on the Moog synthesizer, had ignited tremendous public attention, and Stockhausen’s teachings had begun to inspire a burgeoning experimental music scene in Germany. Kraut-rock groups such as Can and Neu! integrated synthesizers and tape manipulations into their rabid experimentalism, but the two most important electronic artists to emerge from the scene were Kraftwerk and Tangerine Dream. Kraftwerk pioneered the concept of pop music performed exclusively on synthesizers, and their robotic, mechanical, hypnotic style had a tremendous impact on nearly all electronic pop produced in the remainder of the 20th century. Tangerine Dream, meanwhile, was indebted to minimalist classical composition, crafting an atmospheric, slowly shifting, trance-inducing sound that helped invent the genre known as space music. Other crucial figures included Klaus Schulze, who explored a droning variation on space music that was even more trancelike than Tangerine Dream, and Brian Eno, whose inventive production and experiments with electronics in a pop context eventually gave way to his creation of ambient music, which aimed to blend thoroughly into its environment and often relied heavily on synthesizers. Ambient and space music helped give rise to new age, which emphasized the peaceful, soothing, and meditative qualities of those influences while adding greater melodicism; the progressive electronic branch of new age crafted a more dramatic, lushly orchestrated style that broke with electronic music’s roots in minimalism. Synth-pop, techno, and its artier companion electronica all owed a great deal to the basic innovations of early electronic artists as well.

A suitably vague term used to describe the emergence of electronic dance music increasingly geared to listening instead of strictly dancing, Electronica was first used in the title of a series of compilations (actually called New Electronica) spotlighting original sources of Detroit techno such as Juan Atkins and Underground Resistance alongside European artists who had gained much from the Motor City’s futuristic vision for techno. The word was later appropriated by the American press as an easy catch-all for practically any young artist using electronic equipment and/or instruments, but electronica serves to describe techno-based music that can be used for home listening as well as on the dance floor (since many electronica artists are club DJs as well).

Euro-Dance

Euro-Dance refers to a specific style of club/dance music produced on the European continent during the ’80s and ’90s. Euro-dance is generally informed by disco, hi-NRG, and house music, and performed entirely in the recording studio on synthesizers and drum machines; the producers are much more responsible for the finished product than the singers. Like its close relative Euro-pop, it’s usually simple, lightweight, and catchy, with fluffy, repetitive lyrics that don’t require much translation among listeners who speak different languages. The main difference between Euro-dance and Euro-pop is the exclusive and pronounced dance-club orientation of the former; while Euro-pop is frequently informed by dance music, it doesn’t have to be, and when it is, it doesn’t always fit into dance-club playlists. Most Euro-dance artists concentrate on crafting hit singles, with album releases almost an afterthought.

Experimental Dub

Thousands of miles away from sunny Jamaica, a loose collective of Berlin producers jump-started the style of music known as Experimental Dub. If the scene was centered at all, it occurred at Hard Wax Records, a record store as well as a tight distribution company that was home to several of the style’s crucial labels (Basic Channel, Chain Reaction, Imbalance) and producers (Maurizio, Mark Ernestus, Porter Ricks, Pole, Monolake). Indebted to Chicago acid house and minimalist Detroit techno figures like Jeff Mills, Rob Hood, and Plastikman, experimental dub was rather easily characterized; the sound usually focused on a mix of crackling, murky atmospheres that sounded almost subaquatic, with a mid-tempo beat and strong, clanging percussion. The similarities to classic Jamaican dub producers King Tubby and Lee “Scratch” Perry were indirect at best, but the term worked well for identifying the signature sound of many of Germany’s best experimental producers. Other than the Basic Channel camp, experimental dub’s most important figures were Mike Ink (aka Wolfgang Voigt) and Thomas Brinkmann. Ink, a longtime Berlin producer responsible for more than a half-dozen aliases and labels, did most of his important work on the Profan and Studio 1 labels. Brinkmann, a comparative newcomer to the style, earned praise for his remixes of material by Ink and Plastikman. Experimental dub, in turn, inspired several major techno figures (including Plastikman and Mills) by the late ’90s, and its influence was even seen in American indie-rock and post-rock.

Experimental Electro

With the revival of the classic electro style, dubbed the neo-electro movement, came a wave of Experimental Electro artists with more abstract agendas, still influenced by the sound of the streets but with more curious minds when it came to noodling around in the studio. Names such as Freeform and Bisk characterized the style.

Experimental Rock

As the name suggests, Experimental Rock is music pushing the envelope of the form, far removed from the classic pop sensibilities of before. Typically, experimental rock is the diametric opposite of standard “verse-chorus-verse” music. Because the whole point is to liberate and innovate, no hard and fast rules apply, but distinguishing characteristics include improvisational performances, avant-garde influences, odd instrumentation, opaque lyrics (or no lyrics at all), strange compositional structures and rhythms, and an underlying rejection of commercial aspirations.

Experimental Techno

The field of electronic dance music has limitless possibilities for experimentation, so Experimental Techno has a similarly wide range of styles-from the disc-error clicks and scratches of European experimenters Oval and Pan sonic to the off-kilter effects (but straight-ahead rhythms) of Cristian Vogel, Neil Landstrumm, and Si Begg. Experimental techno can also include soundscape terrorists such as Twisted Science, Nonplace Urban Field, and Atom Heart; digital-age punks like Alec Empire; and former industrial stalwarts under new guises, such as Scorn, Download, or Techno Animal. Any artist wishing to take electronic dance places it’s never been can be characterized as experimental, and for better or worse, that includes a large cast.

Often growing in tandem with contemporary styles like electro and house, Freestyle emerged in the twin Latin capitals of New York City and Miami during the early ’80s. Freestyle classics like “I Wonder If I Take You Home” by Lisa Lisa & Cult Jam, “Let the Music Play” by Shannon, and “Party Your Body” by Stevie B relied on angular, synthesized beats similar to electro and early house, but also emphasized the romantic themes of classic R&B and disco. The fusion of mechanical and sensual proved ready for crossover during the period, and both Shannon and Lisa Lisa hit the Top 40 during 1984-85. Freestyle also dovetailed nicely with the rise of dance-pop during the mid-’80s-Madonna’s early producer and remixer, John Benitez (aka Jellybean), was also active in the freestyle community. By the end of the decade, a number of artists-Exposé, Brenda K. Starr, Trinere, the Cover Girls, India, and Stevie B-followed them into the pop or R&B charts. Even after popular success waned in the late ’80s, though, freestyle moved to the underground as a vital stream of modern dance music alongside house, techno, and bass music. Similar to mainstream house, freestyle artists are usually (though by no means exclusively) either female vocalists or male producers. Newer figures like Lil Suzy, George Lamond, Angelique, Johnny O, and others became big stars in the freestyle community.

Funky Breaks

An amalgam of trance, hip-hop, and jungle, Funky Breaks became one of the most widely heard styles in electronic music thanks to its popularity as the sound of choice for those wishing to make some noise on pop charts and television commercials during the late ’90s. Pioneered by the Chemical Brothers plus James Lavelle’s epic-stature Mo’Wax Records stable, funky breaks really came into the fore in 1997, the year music-industry experts predicted would finally break the new electronica in the mainstream. Of the artists picked to spearhead the revolution, almost all-the Prodigy, Death in Vegas, the Crystal Method, Propellerheads-had that sound. That’s also a significant reason why the electronica revolution failed, at least commercially, since the highly-touted acts all sounded similar.

Most popular in the Netherlands and Scotland, Gabba is the hardest form of hardcore techno, frequently exceeding speeds of over 200 BPM. Popular DJs and producers like Paul Elstak and the Mover categorized gabba’s early evolution from German trance and British rave. By the mid-’90s, the music had acquired some rather unsavory connotations with neo-fascism and the skinhead movement, though much of the scene was free from it. Surprisingly, gabba made a rather successful attempt at the Dutch pop charts, with Elstak producing several hits. Many producers and fans proclaimed him a sell-out, and soon there appeared a divide in the scene between the hardcore and the really hardcore.

Named for what is arguably the birthplace of house music, the Paradise Garage in New York, Garage is the dance style closest in spirit and execution to the original disco music of the ’70s. Favoring synthesizer runs and gospel vocals similar to house music but with production values even more polished and shimmering than house, garage has a very soulful, organic feel. Though the style was most popular in New Jersey in the ’80s, the mainstream of British dance clubs championed the style throughout the ’90s as well.

Goa Trance

Named after a region on the coast of southwestern India famed as a clubbing and drugging paradise ever since the ’60s, Goa Trance broke away from the Teutonic bent of European trance during the early ’90s and carried the torch for trance during the rest of the decade. The presence of LSD on the Goa scene-instead of the ubiquitous club drug Ecstasy-translated the music into an appropriately psychedelic version of trance that embraced the mystical properties of Indian music and culture. Traditional Indian instruments such as the sitar and sarod (or electronic near-equivalents) often made appearances in the music, pushed along by the driving, hypnotic sequencer music that trance had always been known for. The style is considerably less turntable-oriented than other electronic dance styles, especially since vinyl tends to melt in the heat (DATs are often used instead). As a consequence, Goa had comparatively few DJs to recommend it worldwide until the late ’90s. Labels like Dragonfly, Blue Room Released, Flying Rhino, Platipus, and Paul Oakenfold’s Perfecto Fluoro became important sources for the sound. Oakenfold, Britain’s most popular DJ, finally gave Goa trance the cache it had lacked in the past by caning it on the radio and in clubs across the country. The British sound system known as Return to the Source also brought Goa trance to the mainstream hordes, releasing three volumes in a compilation series of the best trance music on the scene.

Happy Hardcore

Gradually evolving from the English rave scene of the late ’80s and early ’90s, Happy Hardcore featured many of the same elements that characterized rave: impossibly high beats per minute, similarly fast synthesizer/piano runs, and vocal samples altered to make the most soulful diva sound like a warbling chipmunk. The jungle/drum’n’bass movement had also emerged from rave, but the two scenes split and grew quite anathemic. The positive vibes of happy hardcore were criticized by most clubgoers as music for the drugged-out youth, but just as the hardcore-into-jungle scene found favor with critics later in the decade, a certain amount of respect for happy hardcore appeared as well. The work of combination DJ/producers such as Slipmatt, Hixxy & Sharkey, Force & Styles, and DJ Dougal produced innumerable compilations, as well as the inevitable solo production LPs.

Hardcore Techno

The fastest, most abrasive form of dance music currently available at any one time, Hardcore Techno was, by the mid-’90s, the province of a startlingly wide array of producers, including breakbeat junglists, industrial trancesters, digital-era punks, and cartoonish ravers. The style originally emerged from Great Britain’s 1988 Summer of Love; though the original soundtrack to those warehouse parties was influenced by the relatively mid-tempo rhythms of Chicago acid house, increased drug intake caused many ravers to embrace quicker rhythms and altogether more frenetic forms of music. Many DJs indulged their listeners by speeding up house records originally intended for 33-rpm play, and producers carried the torch by sampling the same records for their releases. During 1991-92, hardcore/rave music had hit the legitimate airwaves as well, led by hits like SL2’s “On a Ragga Tip,” T-99’s “Anasthasia,” and RTS’ “Poing.”

The resulting major-label feeding frenzy produced heavy coverage for lightweight novelty fare like “Go Speed Go” by Alpha Team, “Sesame’s Treat” by Smart E’s, and “James Brown Is Dead” by L.A. Style. By 1993, British producers like Rob Playford, 4 Hero, and Omni Trio began leading hardcore techno into the breakbeat territory that would later become known as jungle, even as the Teutonic end of hardcore morphed into harder trance and gabba.

During the mid-’90s, most ravers had grown out of the dance scene or simply tired of the sound; though the original hardcore/rave sound had spread to much of the British hinterlands as well as continental Europe, most Londoners favored progressive house or the emerging ambient techno. The simultaneous lack of critical coverage but wide spread of the sound-into the north of England and Scotland as well as the continental centers of Germany and the Netherlands-served to introduce a variety of underground styles, from the digital hardcore of Germany’s Alec Empire to English happy hardcore. In fact, the term had practically become a dinosaur by the end of the decade.

Hi-NRG

Hi-NRG is a fast variation of disco that evolved in the ’80s. Driven by a fast drum machine and synthesizers, Hi-NRG was essentially a dance-oriented music with only slight hints of pop. There would be a few hooks-generally sung by disembodied vocalists wailing in the background-but the emphasis of the music, like most dance music, was in the beat. Hi-NRG was a predecessor to techno and house, which drew from its beats in decidedly different ways. House had a funkier, soulful rhythm, while techno expanded with the mechanical beats of Hi-NRG.

Hip-Hop

Hip-hop is essentially the rhythm track to rap, which meanders at a relatively slow tempo, and features a minimalist collection of samples, loops, and/or turntable playing. The emphasis is definitely on the bass, with fat, thick drum beats. Groups like Public Enemy took hip-hop beats but added raps with more of a political, literate edge.

House music grew out of the post-disco dance club culture of the early ’80s. After disco became popular, certain urban DJs-particularly those in gay communities-altered the music to make it less pop-oriented. The beat became more mechanical and the bass grooves became deeper, while elements of electronic synth-pop, Latin soul, dub reggae, rap, and jazz were grafted over the music’s insistent, unvarying four-four beat. Frequently, the music was purely instrumental and when there were vocalists, they were faceless female divas that often sang wordless melodies. By the late ’80s, house had broken out of underground clubs in cities like Chicago, New York, and London, and had begun making inroads on the pop charts, particularly in England and Europe but later in America under the guise of artists like C+C Music Factory and Madonna. At the same time, house was breaking into the pop charts; it fragmented into a number of subgenres, including hip-house, ambient house, and most significantly, acid house (a subgenre of house with the instantly recognizable squelch of Roland’s TB-303 bass-line generator). During the ’90s, house ceased to be cutting-edge music, yet it remained popular in clubs throughout Europe and America. At the end of the decade, a new wave of progressive house artists including Daft Punk, Basement Jaxx, and House of 909 brought the music back to critical quarters with praised full-length works.

A loaded term meant to distinguish electronic music of the ’90s and later that’s equally comfortable on the dancefloor as in the living room, IDM (Intelligent Dance Music) eventually acquired a good deal of negative publicity, not least among the legion of dance producers and fans whose exclusion from the community prompted the question of whether they produced stupid dance music. Born in the late ’80s, the sound grew out of a fusion between the hard-edged dance music heard on the main floor at raves and larger club events, and the more downtempo music of the nearby chill-out rooms. DJs like Mixmaster Morris and Dr. Alex Paterson blended Chicago house, softer synth-pop/new wave, and ambient/environmental music, prompting a wave of producers inspired by a variety of sources. (Many DJs and producers were also reacting against the increasingly chart-leaning slant of British dance music during those years, exemplified by novelty hits like “Pump Up the Jam” by Technotronic and “Sesame’s Treat” by Smart E’s.) The premiere IDM label, Sheffield’s Warp Records, proved home to the best in the sound-in fact, the seminal Warp compilation Artificial Intelligence alone introduced listeners worldwide to a half-dozen of the style’s most crucial artists: Aphex Twin, the Orb, Plastikman, Autechre, Black Dog Productions, and B12. Other labels-Rising High, GPR, R&S, Rephlex, Fat Cat, Astralwerks-released quality IDM as well, though by the mid-’90s much of the electronica produced for headphone consumption had diverged either toward the path of more experimentation or more beat orientation. With no centered, commercial scene to speak of, North America became a far more hospitable clime to IDM, and by the end of the ’90s, dozens of solid labels had opened for business, including Drop Beat, Isophlux, Suction, Schematic, and Cytrax. Despite frequent attempts to rename the style (Warp’s “electronic listening music” and Aphex Twin’s “braindance” were two choices), IDM continued to be the de facto way for fans to describe their occasionally undescribable favorites.

Industrial music was a dissonant, abrasive style of music that grew out of the tape-music and electronic experiments of the mid-’70s bands Cabaret Voltaire and Throbbing Gristle (the term was coined from the latter’s label, Industrial Records). The music was largely electronic, distorted, and rather avant-garde for rock circles. By the mid-’80s, industrial dance bands Ministry, Front 242, Nitzer Ebb, and Skinny Puppy had evolved from the original template. During the next decade, industrial went overground and became a new kind of heavy-metal courtesy of crossover groups like Nine Inch Nails, White Zombie, and Marilyn Manson.

Industrial Dance

During the ’80s, industrial music progressed from being an obscure, experimentalist style to a position where it was quite popular and straight-ahead for a growing audience unenthused by limp-wristed alternative music as well as cock rock and heavy metal. Early distinguished by the term “electronic body music,” several artists, such as Front 242, Nitzer Ebb, Skinny Puppy, and Ministry gained significant airplay in clubs. By the ’90s, industrial had split along a guitar/electronics divide, with the latter usually carrying on the tradition of electronic body music. America’s Cleopatra Records featured the most Industrial Dance acts, including Leætherstrip, Spahn Ranch, and Die Krupps.

Jungle/Drum’n’bass

Based almost entirely in England, Jungle (also known as drum’n’bass) is a permutation of hardcore techno that emerged in the early ’90s. Jungle is the most rhythmically complex of all forms of techno, relying on extremely fast polyrhythms and breakbeats. Usually, it’s entirely instrumental-it is among the hardest of all hardcore techno, consisting of nothing but fast drum machines and deep bass. As its name implies, jungle does have more overt reggae, dub, and R&B influences than most hardcore-and that is why some critics claimed that the music was the sound of black techno musicians and DJs reclaiming it from the white musicians and DJs who dominated the hardcore scene. Nevertheless, jungle never slows down to develop a groove-it just speeds along. Like most techno genres, jungle is primarily a singles genre designed for a small, dedicated audience, although the crossover success of Goldie and his 1995 debut Timeless suggested a broader appeal and more musical possibilities than other forms of techno. Dozens of respected artists followed in their wake, fusing breakbeats with influences lifted from jazz, film music, ambient, and trip-hop.

Kraut-Rock

Kraut-Rock refers to the legions of German bands of the early ’70s that expanded the sonic possibilities of art and progressive rock. Instead of following in the direction of their British and American counterparts, who were moving toward jazz and classical-based compositions and concept albums, the German bands became more mechanical and electronic. Working with early synthesizers and splicing together seemingly unconnected reels of tape, bands like Faust, Can, and Neu! created a droning, pulsating sound that owed more to the avant-garde than to rock ‘n’ roll. Although the bands didn’t make much of an impact while they were active in the ’70s, their music anticipated much post-punk of the early ’80s, particularly industrial rock. Kraut-rock also came into vogue in the ’90s, when groups like Stereolab and Tortoise began incorporating the hypnotic rhythms and electronic experiments of the German art-rock bands into their own, vaguely avant-garde indie-rock.

Madchester was the dominant force in British rock during the late ’80s and early ’90s. A fusion of acid house dance rhythms and melodic pop, Madchester was distinguished by its loping beats, psychedelic flourishes, and hooky choruses. While the song structures were familiar, the arrangements and attitude were modern, and even the retro-pop touches-namely the jangling guitars, swirling organs, and sharp pop sense-functioned as postmodern collages. There were two approaches to this collage, as evidenced by the Stone Roses and Happy Mondays. The Roses were a traditional guitar-pop band, and their songs were straight-ahead pop tunes, bolstered by baggy beats; it was modernized ’60s pop. Happy Mondays cut and pasted like rappers sampled, taking choruses from the Beatles and LaBelle and putting them into the context of darkly psychedelic dance. Despite their different approaches, both bands shared a love for acid-house music and culture, as well as the hometown of Manchester, England. As the group’s popularity grew, the British press tagged the two groups-as well as similarly-minded bands like the Charlatans [UK] and Inspiral Carpets-“Madchester” after a Happy Mondays song. (It was also known as “baggy,” since the bands wore baggy clothing). Madchester was enormously popular for several years in the UK before fading, largely because the Roses and the Mondays fell prey to laziness and drug abuse, respectively. The genre never made much impact in America outside of alternative circles, but Madchester’s offspring-bands like Oasis, Pulp, and Blur that were heavily influenced by the collision of contemporary and classic pop-became international stars in the mid-’90s.

One of the main innovations in the contemporary classical field, Minimalism has also influenced new age composers and electronic producers alike, particularly in progressive electronic styles where sequencers play an important role. Generally, this music is characterized by a strong and relentless pulse, the insistent repetition of short melodic fragments, and harmonies that change over long periods of time. A trio of ’60s figures, LaMonte Young, Terry Riley, and Steve Reich, did the most to pioneer the field, though Philip Glass had the most success with the style during the ’70s.

Neo-Electro

For several months in 1995, British clubs were afire with the sights and sounds of robots, body-poppers, and a revival of America’s early-’80s electro movement. Though much of the attention was given to the old-school masters (Afrika Bambaataa, the Egyptian Lover, Newcleus), much of the influence for the electro revival had come from more recent sounds. Detroit acts such as Drexciya, Underground Resistance, and Ectomorph had begun looking back to electro, and Drexciya’s multi-volume series of 1994 EPs were much-heard on the other side of the Atlantic. In Britain, Clear Records headed the revival hot-list, with singles from Jedi Knights, Tusken Raiders, Plaid, and Gescom (almost all were aliases for more well-known dance acts including Global Communication, µ-Ziq, and Autechre). Though the electro revival didn’t last long as a British club trend, good records continued to be released (especially by Clear), and other labels, such as Skam, Musik Aus Strom, and Dot, progressed beyond the sound to create intelligent new music with heavy electro influences.

A rather brief phenomenon (even for the style-a-minute world of dance music), Newbeat emerged late in the ’80s as a mid-tempo derivation of acid house. Influenced as well by Detroit techno and Euro-dance, newbeat was centered in Belgium, where labels such as R&S and Antler-Subway-home of the newbeat anthem “I Sit on Acid” by Lords of Acid-characterized the style with acid synth leanings, but more pop-friendly approaches to dance. The blazing success of the KLF during 1990-91 sustained newbeat for awhile, but after their exit from the music industry, the style faded quickly. While both Antler-Subway and Lords of Acid later moved on to a self-parodying approach to acid house, R&S became a respected name in the dance industry, focusing mostly on trance and ambient techno.

Sludgy, abrasive, and punishing, Noise is everything its name promises, expanding on the music’s capacity for sonic assault while almost entirely rejecting the role of melody and songcraft. From the ear-splitting, teeth-rattling attack of Japan’s Merzbow to the thick, grinding intensity of Amphetamine Reptile-label bands like Tar and Vertigo, it’s dark, brutal music that pushes rock to its furthest extremes. By the end of the ’90s, a resurgence in the use of sine waves-originally explored by musique concrète artists in the ’50s-became increasingly frequent among noise artists such as Otomo Yoshihide.

Noise Pop

Noise Pop is just that-pop music wrapped in barbed-wire kisses of feedback, dissonance, and abrasion. It occupies the halfway point between bubblegum and the avant-garde, a collision between conventional pop songcraft and the sonic assault of white noise-guitars veer out of control but somehow the melody pushes forward, and the tension between the two opposing forces frequently makes for fascinating listening.

Nu Breaks

A hard-edged dance style developed late in the ’90s with the convergence of techno and drum’n’bass as well as a few elements of the earlier rave scenes, Nu Breaks was led by artists and DJs including Brits Adam Freeland, Dylan Rhymes, Beber, Freq Nasty, and Rennie Pilgrem plus a bare few Americans like BT. From drum’n’bass the style borrowed two-step breakbeats and chilling effects, from techno its smooth flow and machine percussion, and from early-’90s rave/hardcore some of the crowd-pleasing bells and whistles (figuratively as well as literally) that in some cases had not been heard for years. Freeland was probably the best-known of the nu breaks crew (especially since most producers concentrated on singles output), as rock-steady mix sets like Coastal Breaks and Tectonics earned acclaim with dance fans around the world.

Old School Rap

Old School Rap is the style of the very first rap artists who emerged from New York City in the late ’70s and early ’80s. Old school is easily identified by its relatively simple raps-most lines take up approximately equal amounts of time, and the rhythms of the language rarely twisted around the beats of the song. The cadences usually fell squarely on the beat, and when they didn’t, they wouldn’t stray for long, returning to the original pattern for quick resolution. The emphasis was not on lyrical technique, but simply on good times-aside from the socially conscious material of Grandmaster Flash, which greatly expanded rap’s horizons, most old school rap had the fun, playful flavor of the block parties and dances at which it was born. In keeping with the laidback, communal good vibes, old school rap seemed to have more room and appreciation for female MCs, although none achieved the higher profile of Grandmaster Flash & the Furious Five or the Sugarhill Gang. Some old school songs were performed over disco or funk-style tracks, while others featured synthesized backing (this latter type of music, either with or without raps, was known as electro). Old school rap’s recorded history begins with two 1979 singles, Fatback’s “King Tim III” and the Sugarhill Gang’s “Rapper’s Delight,” although the movement had been taking shape for almost a decade prior. Sugarhill Records quickly became the center for old school rap, dominating the market until Run-D.M.C. upped the ante for technique and hardcore urban toughness in 1983-84. Their sound and style soon took over the rap world, making old school’s party orientation and ’70s funk influences seem outdated. When compared with the more complex rhythms and rhyme schemes of modern-day rap-or even the hip-hop that was being produced less than ten years after “Rapper’s Delight”-old school rap can sound dated and a little unadventurous. However, the best old school tracks retain their liveliness as great party music no matter what the era, holding up surprisingly well considering all that’s happened since.

Post-Rock/Experimental

Post-Rock was an experimental, avant-garde movement that emerged in the mid-’90s. Most post-rock was droning and hypnotic, drawing from ambient, free-form jazz, avant-garde, and electronic music more than rock. The majority of post-rock groups were like Tortoise, a Chicago-based band with a rotating lineup. Tortoise viewed their music not as songs, but as ever-changing compositions that they improvised nightly. Most post-rock groups were defiantly anti-mainstream and anti-indie-rock in the vein of Tortoise. However, there were certain groups-like Stereolab-that essentially worked in a pop and indie-rock format, only touching on the experimental and avant-garde tendencies of most post-rockers. Thrill Jockey’s reissue of albums by European experimental names like Mouse on Mars and Oval led to the birth of a transatlantic scene, of sorts, with Germans more focused on electronic music while most Americans preferred rock-oriented setups.

Progressive House

House music had reached the mainstream by the late ’80s (more so in Britain than anywhere else), and while several early house hits were by genuine pioneers, they were later overwhelmed by the novelty acts and one-hit wonders dominating the charts around the turn of the decade. As well, ambient, techno, and trance made gains early in the ’90s as electronic styles with both street cred and a group of young artists making intelligent music. A generation of house producers soon emerged, weaned on the first wave of house and anxious to reapply the more soulful elements of the music. With a balance of sublime techno and a house sound more focused on New York garage than Chicago acid house, groups like Leftfield, the Drum Club, Spooky, and Faithless hit the dance charts (and occasionally Britain’s singles charts). Though critically acclaimed full-lengths were never quite as important as devastating club tracks, several Progressive House LPs were stellar works, including Leftfield’s Leftism, Spooky’s Gargantuan, and the Drum Club’s Everything Is Now. By the mid-’90s, the innovations of progressive house had become the mainstream of house music around the world.

Rave is more of an event than a genre of music. Raves were underground parties where acid house and hardcore records were played and large quantities of drugs-particularly ecstasy-were consumed. Most of the music played at raves had a psychedelic quality, even before drugs became a major element of the scene. DJs played at the raves, mixing stacks of house and techno singles; the DJs, not the recording artists themselves, became the most recognizable names in the scene. Raves were primarily an English phenomenon during the late ’80s and early ’90s. They were conducted in large venues, particularly abandoned warehouses and open fields. Eventually, the British government became concerned that raves were a dangerous, antisocial phenomenon that had to be shut down, but the parties never disappeared, especially since word of the events were usually passed through word of mouth and handmade fliers. In the States, raves began to make some inroads in the early ’90s, but they never gained a large audience, even by underground standards. Throughout the ’90s, bands that were directly influenced by rave culture-particularly “baggy” bands like the Stone Roses, Happy Mondays, and Charlatans; Brit-pop acts like Pulp and Oasis; and techno artists like the Prodigy-made their way into the mainstream, and the culture continued to capture the attention of British youth into the late ’90s.

Salsa is the music of Latin America, which has stretched its way up to the United States by way of Puerto Rico. Rhythmically complex and featuring large bands with lots of personnel (percussion, horns, vocalists, piano, bass, etc.), salsa remains a vital form of music in the Latin community, and is becoming increasingly popular with mainstream America.

Schranz – New!

Since there has been a lot of talk about the word “Schranz” lately, I wanted to post my very own statement about it and not one,which is written by people who don`t really know. Yes, it is true, together with a friend I came up with the word “Schranz” in a Recordstore in Frankfurt in the year 1994. Not true is, that I am now annoyed by the term, I am only annoyed by all the discussions which come up about it, especially here in Germany. Everyone who uses the word “Schranz” to describe her or his musical taste or even way of living, shall do so and I think that is completely o.k.. Basically I like to call what I spin and produce “Techno” and in general “electronic Music”. For me personally, since that day in 1994, “Schranz” is a description for various dark and distorted sounds in Techno. At that point I couldn`t come up with a better word, but of course then I also didn`t know, that one day it would become so popular. I don`t want to and I can`t tell anyone how and where to use the word and in what respect. That´s CLAU 04 was called :”Call it what you want…” So be tolerant, make up your own mind about it and don`t believe everything which is written in magazines. Chris Liebing, 2002

Shibuya-Kei

The Japanese pop phenomenon known as Shibuya-Kei exploded forth from the ultra-trendy Shibuya shopping district of west Tokyo, an area home to some of the most fashionable and best-stocked record and clothing stores in the world. Shibuya-kei-literally, “Shibuya style”-was the name given to the like-minded pop musicians who emerged from this consumer culture, a group of young Japanese weaned on a steady and amazingly eclectic diet of Western pop exports; the result was an unprecedented collision of sights and sounds, with trailblazing acts like Pizzicato 5 drawing on disparate influences ranging from the lush lounge-pop of Burt Bacharach to the rhythms and energy of urban hip-hop. In its purest form, shibuya-kei is classic Western pop refracted through the looking glass of modern Eastern society-music cut up, pasted together, and spit out in new and exciting ways. Shibuya-kei is also pop music at its cutest: it’s a view to a world where the sweetness and simplicity of the girl-group era never ended but simply evolved, never out of step with the times but always true to its roots as well-the Lolita complex so pervasive throughout Japanese culture informs much of this music, and its youthful innocence is the key to much of its endearing charm.

Shoegazing is a genre of late ’80s and early ’90s British indie-rock, named after the bands’ motionless performing style, where they stood on stage and stared at the floor while they played. But shoegazing wasn’t about visuals-it was about pure sound. The sound of the music was overwhelmingly loud, with long, droning riffs, waves of distortion, and cascades of feedback. Vocals and melodies disappeared into the walls of guitars, creating a wash of sound where no instrument was distinguishable from the other. Most shoegazing groups worked off the template My Bloody Valentine established with their early EPs and their first full-length album, Isn’t Anything, but Dinosaur Jr., the Jesus & Mary Chain, and the Cocteau Twins were also major influences. Bands that followed-most notably Ride, Lush, Chapterhouse, and the Boo Radleys-added their own stylistic flourishes. Ride veered close to ’60s psychedelia, while Lush alternated between straight pop and the dream pop of the Cocteau Twins. None of the shoegazers were dynamic performers or interesting interviews, which prevented them from breaking through into the crucial US market. In 1992-after the groups had dominated the British music press and indie charts for about three years-the shoegazing groups were swept aside by the twin tides of American grunge and Suede, the band to initiate the wave of Brit-pop that ruled British music during the mid-’90s. Some shoegazers broke up within a few years (Chapterhouse, Ride), while other groups-such as the Boo Radleys and Lush-evolved with the times and were able to sustain careers into the late ’90s.

Ska originated in Jamaica in the early 60s, with an emphasis on vocals and horns, and rhythm guitar hitting on the offbeats. Today’s “ska revivalists,” like No Doubt, often jack up the tempo but otherwise remain relatively faithful to the concept.

Space-Rock

Once used as a tag to describe ’70s-era acts like Hawkwind, in more recent years the term Space-Rock has come to embody a new generation of heady, hypnotic bands with aspirations of cosmic transcendence. Arguably the first and most prominent of the new space-rock groups was Britain’s Spacemen 3, whose famous “Taking drugs to make music to take drugs to” credo subsequently influenced most, if not all, of the like-minded bands in their wake; indeed, the music of the genre is typically narcotic, defined by washes of heavily reverbed guitar, minimalist drumming, and gentle, languid vocals.

Speed Garage

Revving up the sweet sound of garage techno by adding ragga vocals, rewinds, and DJ scratching along with occasional drum’n’bass rhythms, Speed Garage hit the London clubscene in 1996, gaining momentum from its Sunday-night status as a good end-of-the-week comedown to supplant jungle/drum’n’bass as the hotly tipped dance style of the late ’90s. Influenced by American producers like Todd Edwards and Armand Van Helden, speed garage grew with European acts such as the Dream Team, Double 99, Boris Dlugosch, and the Tuff Jam crew.

Tech-House

Tech-House is used to describe a variety of rangy, mostly European producers who culled many of the rhythms and effects of acid and progressive house yet with a clean, simplistic production style suggestive of Detroit and British techno. The style came to cover a wide variety of names including Herbert, Daniel Ibbotson, Terry Lee Brown Jr., Funk D’Void, and Ian O’Brien, among others.

Techno had its roots in the electronic house music made in Detroit in the mid-’80s. Where house still had explicit connection to disco even when it was entirely mechanical, techno was strictly electronic music, designed for a small, specific audience. The first techno producers and DJs-Kevin Saunderson, Juan Atkins, and Derrick May, among others-emphasized the electronic, synthesized beats of electro-funk artists like Afrika Bambaataa and synth-rock units like Kraftwerk. In the United States, techno was strictly an underground phenomenon, but in England, it broke into the mainstream in the late ’80s. In the early ’90s, techno began to fragment into a number of subgenres, including hardcore, ambient, and jungle. In hardcore techno, the beats-per-minute on each record were sped up to ridiculous, undanceable levels-it was designed to alienate a broad audience. Ambient took the opposite direction, slowing the beats down and relying on watery electronic textures-it was used as come-down music, when ravers and club-goers needed a break from acid house and hardcore techno. Jungle was nearly as aggressive as hardcore, combining driving techno beats with breakbeats and dancehall reggae-essentially. All subgenres of techno were initially designed to be played in clubs, where they would be mixed by DJs. Consequently, most of the music was available on 12″ singles or various-artists compilations, where the songs could run for a long time, providing the DJ with a lot of material to mix into his set. In the mid-’90s, a new breed of techno artists-most notably ambient acts like the Orb and Aphex Twin, but also harder-edged artists like the Prodigy and Goldie-began constructing albums that didn’t consist of raw beats intended for mixing. Not surprisingly, these artists-particularly the Prodigy-became the first recognizable stars in techno.

Breaking out of the German techno and hardcore scene of the early ’90s, Trance emphasized brief synthesizer lines repeated endlessly throughout tracks, with only the addition of minimal rhythmic changes and occasional synthesizer atmospherics to distinguish them-in effect putting listeners into a trance that approached those of religious origin. Despite waning interest in the sound during the mid-’90s, trance made a big comeback later in the decade, even supplanting house as the most popular dance music of choice around the globe.

Inspired by acid house and Detroit techno, trance coalesced with the opening of R&S Records in Ghent, Belgium and Harthouse/Eye Q Records in Frankfurt, Germany. R&S defined the sound early on with singles like “Energy Flash” by Joey Beltram, “The Ravesignal” by CJ Bolland, and others by Robert Leiner, Sun Electric, and Aphex Twin. Harthouse, begun in 1992 by Sven Väth with Heinz Roth & Matthias Hoffman, made the most impact on the sound of trance with Hardfloor’s minimal epic “Hardtrance Acperience” and Väth’s own “L’Esperanza,” plus releases by Arpeggiators, Spicelab, and Barbarella. Artists like Väth, Bolland, Leiner, and many others made the transition to the full-length realm, though without much of an impact on the wider music world.

Despite a long nascent period when it appeared trance had disappeared, replaced by breakbeat dance (trip-hop and jungle), the style’s increasing impact on Britain’s dance scene finally crested in the late ’90s. The classic German sound had changed somewhat though, and the term “progressive” trance gained favor to describe influences from the smoother end of house and Euro dance. By 1998, most of the country’s best-known DJs-Paul Oakenfold, Pete Tong, Tony De Vit, Danny Rampling, Sasha, Judge Jules-were playing trance in Britain’s superclubs. Even America turned on to the sound (eventually), led by its own cast of excellent DJs, including Christopher Lawrence and Kimball Collins.

Tribal House

By the early ’90s, house music had undergone several fusions with other styles, creating ambient house, hip-house and, when the four-on-the-floor punch was blended with polyrhythmic percussion, Tribal House. The style covers a bit of ground, from the mainstream leanings of Frankie Bones and Ultra Naté to the electro-hippie sensibilities of Banco de Gaia, Loop Guru, and Eat Static (all denizens of the UK’s Planet Dog Records).

Trip-Hop

Yet another in a long line of plastic placeholders to attach itself to one arm or another of the UK post-acid house dance scene’s rapidly mutating experimental underground, Trip-Hop was coined by the English music press in an attempt to characterize a new style of downtempo, jazz-, funk-, and soul-inflected experimental breakbeat music which began to emerge around in 1993 in association with labels such as Mo’Wax, Ninja Tune, Cup of Tea, and Wall of Sound. Similar to (though largely vocal-less) American hip-hop in its use of sampled drum breaks, typically more experimental, and infused with a high index of ambient-leaning and apparently psychotropic atmospherics (hence “trip”), the term quickly caught on to describe everything from Portishead and Tricky, to DJ Shadow and U.N.K.L.E., to Coldcut, Wagon Christ, and Depth Charge-much to the chagrin of many of these musicians, who saw their music largely as an extension of hip-hop proper, not a gimmicky offshoot. One of the first commercially significant hybrids of dance-based listening music to crossover to a more mainstream audience, trip-hop full-length releases routinely topped indie charts in the UK and, in artists such as Shadow, Tricky, Morcheeba, the Sneaker Pimps, and Massive Attack, account for a substantial portion of the first wave of “electronica” acts to reach Stateside audiences.

Zouk comes from the Caribbean, but it also extremely popular in France, where musicians from former French colonies congregate (Kassav is one of the better-known Zouk groups in France). Zouk is uplifting, uptempo music with the kind of vocal and instrumental interplay that’s reminiscent of purely African music.

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crafiet · 6 years ago

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Constellations Ask Game: Andromeda, Aquarius, Aries, Corvus, Draco, Gemini, Hydra, Libra, Lyra, Pyxis, Taurus, Ursa Major, Ursa Minor, Canis Minor, Crux, Indus, Lupus, Puppis, and lastly Virgo

hehe

Project Asks:

Andromeda - Describe your main charactersahhh im so bad at thisary: scarred, pstd-ridden, 25 year old mage. cold, calculated, a compulsive liarcyri: my bby sunshine, naive and kind, living up to unrealistic expectations set by his fatherash: a kings daughter, confused between whats right and what she has to uphold, snarky, gaycaena: old, short and angry about it, princess, last of her house, thinks herself above all other rulers Aquarius - Who’s your least favorite character to write?ash because i havent explored her as much as the others. like i know her, but since i dont know a lot about politics or royal happenings shes hard to figure out. i have a lot of qs about her in my notebookAries - Share a line that you’re proud of!i have to open my fuckn docs grumblegrumble“Z looked extremely young for her age, as though she had spent the last decade soaking in a bath and eating fruit instead of leading her men into battle like the warmongering tyrant she was.”Corvus - Who or what is the villain of the story?there are multiple, everyone in any sort of power tbh. rebel!Draco - Who’s your favorite character to write?i have a soft spot for cyri bc his softness and kindness is so rare to find in real life and i jus wanna protect himGemini - What inspired you to write this project?well, i was sitting at the dining table eating back when i was 17? and i was thinking about prisoner tropes. then i thought how it would be cool to have an opening scene where the mc is released from prison. and there u go.Hydra - Tell us why you love your project.ive been working on it for 5 fucking years now if i didnt love it id be crazyLibra - Which relationship dynamic do you enjoy writing the most?ary and cyri. originally they were lovers and some of that instant close connection still lingers with them, ary is v soft with him lmao but so are the rest. those damn green eyesLyra - Give us a few songs that fit your project!unbecoming-starsetmasquerade-tokio hotelblue-troye sivanPyxis - Are there any major themes or messages you’re writing to show?i mean theres the typical writing themes, but ive never been able to write messages or morals. maybe just that ‘the blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb’Taurus - Tell us why you hate your project.it just keeps evolving and has so many subtleties and nuances that i dont think im good enough to write ughUrsa Major - What scene are you looking forward to writing?some bonding moments between the crew! i dont have friends so idk how to write group friendships but im gonna try Ursa Minor - What’s the setting?high-fantasy, medieval inspired

Writer Asks:Canis Minor - Share an excerpt of old writing and new writing to see how far you’ve come!oh shit ok okokokone of the earlier drafts:They packed, for they would not return. Ary shovelled everything in messily, while Cyri took his time. They tramped down the stairs after Cyri had insisted straightening the beds to look neat. The bar was empty, as it was midmorning, only the barmaid stood wiping the bench. She glanced up once, caught Ary’s eye and looked away fearfully.Ary’s heart skipped in her chest. Had the beggars frequented The Badger’s Inn and told tales of what had transpired? Would soldiers rain down on them? Yet nothing came. Cyri opened the door and gestured for her to go first, with nothing but a pleasant expression. She nodded thanks and slipped into the bright daylight. The city had not changed.new stuff:In the centre of the city, visible from all angles Ary guessed, were three huge obsidian towers, knife points against the sky. The Queen’s towers. From what she had heard by Arch prisoners, was that she never left those towers, appearing only through a balcony for celebrations of worship. Gargoyles littered buildings, cracked and weather-beaten. As they walked, they came across numerous churches and places of worship, all depicting Queen Z in various poses suggesting dominance, power, and wealth.The fountains were iced over, overgrown vines dipping into the water and stuck there. Debris and rubbish covered the ground to the point the group had to pick their way across the street, jumping over things.ive tried so fucking hard to improve my description sobCrux - Villains or Heroes?uh both, both can be done well. i dont really have a preference anymore, especially since anti-heroes are so big rn. its more about the character than the archetypeIndus - Are there any characters or stories you miss writing? Tell us about them!lmao well my ol girl cara who was in a comic when i was 13 never stopped pestering me so i put her with some other newer extra characters from another project into a new project but idk what that is yet.Lupus - Have you abandoned other WIPs? Tell us about some and why you abandoned them?what HAVENT i abandoned holy fuck. i had several vampire things, dystopian things [i started writing regularly when those themes were popular], a lot of contemporary things??? i dont write contemporary the fuck.Puppis - Give us a piece of advice! (about anything)anything you say?????? youre always overestimating the consequences. theyre always less than u think. now go commit arsonVirgo - Describe your favorite tropes.uhhh do i have any? lol. hmm i like the found-family, ensemble cast trope. i like characters with an established reputation before the book starts. i cant think of any ahhhh

#writing #cloudybookash

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fmdruan · 6 years ago

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30 2 Days of Character Development

Day 2: Questions 16-30

+ Day Sixteen: If your muse could do a special stage with another artist or idol group, who would it be and why? What song would they perform?

She wants to perform with Yiren (any of the Femme Fatale girls, really) because she likes their style and thinks it would mesh well with her own personal style, even within Wish as a group. She would want to perform something from one of her favorite older groups, or a really emotional ballad to showcase their vocals.

+ Day Seventeen: How would your muse fare in a variety show? If your muse could appear on any variety show, which variety would it be and why? If you don’t have a lot of knowledge of variety shows, talk about what kind of variety show they would go on.

She does not fare well in variety. Comments around their debut that said she spoke too much (when she hardly spoke at all) keep her quiet until directly addressed by the hosts. She’s gotten a little better at it and does want to go on more singing focused varieties (like King of Masked Singer) as well as go on SNL again, maybe by herself, but she still has a fear of making a mistake and harming her image and her group’s.

+ Day Eighteen: What entertainment agency is your muse a part of? What do they think of other groups and artists that are in the same agency as them? Which labelmates do they get along with the most, excluding group members?

BC Entertainment, which is known for their family like image. June loves the other girl groups and is usually a fan of the boy groups’ releases. She enjoys activities where she gets to be with labelmates, though not all of them are her closest friends. She’s close with Minhee and Namwoo, people she used to look up to quite a bit when she was a trainee, and she would like to be close to the other Lipstick and Bee members as well, but it’s difficult for her to express her admiration without coming off as a too much of a fan.

+ Day Nineteen: Is there anything besides idol activities that your muse would want to do? Would they want to take their hand at hosting a variety show or act in a television show or drama? Would they want to try out modeling or a musical? If they have done things such as these, talk about their thoughts toward these things.

June really wants to own her own brand one day. Or open a flower shop. She can’t decide between the two. She’d also like to act eventually, but she doesn’t think she’ll get the opportunity in Korea, given how rarely foreign idols are given the opportunity to. When BC lets her, she’d like to accept some of the roles she’s been sent from the Chinese tv industry.

+ Day Twenty: If your muse was able to be a part of a supergroup that comprised of current idols, who would they want to be in the same group and why? What kind of concept would this group have? How do you think the group would do in terms of popularity?

In her own head, she’s very much of the belief that Wish is already a super group, minus the concept. However, made up of idols not in her own group, she’d like to see Hyejung (though their relationship isn’t perfect, she respects her ability), Cherry, Minzy, Jeonghwa, and Alice, as they’d comprise of what would be a perfect combination of the newer generation. The concept would be similar to Lipstick’s All Night. If they didn’t have great promotions from their company, probably not that well with the amount of competition, but she thinks they would do respectably.

+ Day Twenty-One: How does your muse feel about their fans? How do they feel about sasaeng fans? How would they handle a situation in which they were faced with obsessive fans that followed them or invaded their privacy? If they’ve had problems with sasaeng fans before, how did they feel about it?

Her fans mean a lot to her, to the extent that she tries to remember their names as much as she’s able to (she remembers her first fansite vividly — she greets them happily whenever she sees them) when they’ve come to multiple events. Sasaeng fans are a little different for her, as she’s such a private person. She tries to understand, but she gets really nervous when she sees a fan she recognizes in public too often and usually will stick to her managers just in case. She hasn’t had any specific problems, but there are some fansites that have posted her looking upset because she knows they aren’t a real fan.

+ Day Twenty-Two: Talk about your muse’s goals that they have for their group or themselves if they are a solo artist. Where would they want to promote if given the chance? Do they want to do a solo album at one point? This can be any sort of professional goal.

She just wants to be remembered. Her group breaks enough records for it, but she still is concerned that her group won’t be considered one of the defining groups from this time period and she doesn’t want to be forgotten. She does want to do a solo album, once she’s written enough songs for it. But it’s difficult for her to express that to management.

+ Day Twenty-Three: What is your muse’s thoughts on being an idol and dating? Are they against dating? Have they ever been in a relationship after debuting? If so, talk about the challenges that have come along with dating. If they aren’t dating, would they want to date?

She was very against it at the time of her debut. June puts her success first and foremost and wouldn’t want to risk it and a scandal so soon after their debut. Though she has had many crushes, she didn’t date at all early in her career. As the years have gone on, she’s gotten more lonely and more open to the idea of dating, though crushes (and hookups) still appeal to her more than an actual relationship.

+ Day Twenty-Four: Who is your muse’s ideal type? Why is this person their ideal type?

June’s ideal type, publicly, is someone she’s never really talked with much. She named them on instinct when pressured on a radio show, believing their public image really represented what she wanted in a person. (ooc: this is an open plot so I’m not going into too much detail rip)

+ Day Twenty-Five: What does your muse want to be remembered for in the idol world? Do they want to be remembered for their vocal prowess? Their image? Their dancing skills? Their scandals?

Primarily, she wants to be known for her versatility, but more commonly, her voice. Because so many people say she doesn’t have actual ability, she really strives to showcase her vocals as much as she possibly can to prove them wrong. However, in the long run, she’d rather they remember her as someone who was good at everything.

+ Day Twenty-Six: Does your muse ever regret becoming an idol? Do they ever think about what they would be doing instead if they lived a normal life? If they could go back in time, would they do everything all over again? Or would they end up doing something else?

She does only really when she wonders what she could have done instead. While she wouldn’t change anything, the what ifs of not leaving home do keep her up at night sometimes, but she doesn’t think she would have the freedom she does now (even with idol life limitations) so she would do the same again.

+ Day Twenty-Seven: After working hard on promotions, your muse is given the chance to take a two week vacation anywhere in the world at any time they want, with nobody bothering them. Where would they go and when? Why would they want to take their vacation there? If they had the opportunity to bring three other people, who would they bring?

An island somewhere. Maybe the Caribbean, where it’s unlikely many people know her and she could just truly decompress. She’d honestly probably not bring anyone; maybe her brother, to try and patch things with him.

+ Day Twenty-Eight: Talk about your muse’s low point in life. Why was this a low point in their life? What kind of challenges did they face and how did they feel about this? Were they able to overcome it? If it is still ongoing, are they working on overcoming these challenges?

One of her lowest points was the first vacation she had after debut, visiting home. Her sister is ten years her senior and reinforced a lot of the doubts she herself has, that she was essentially talentless and the public only liked her for her body and the revealing outfits. It really sent her spiraling for a bit and spawned the only thing close to a scandal she’s been in, where she snapped at someone trying to film up her skirt during an event. It set her on edge, determined to be seen as more than just an object to be owned for once in her life.

+ Day Twenty-Nine: Talk about your muse’s most meaningful moment as an idol. This is what they feel so far is the highest point in their life and where they’ve never been happier. Recall the memory and describe it; what happened and how did they feel?

Wish’s first win as a group. She hadn’t expected their concept to be so well received and was worried because they were all well rounded, no one really stuck out as a powerful main anything, but BC chose a good song and they got a win. She cried on the show, unable to speak despite being handed a microphone by the MCs and having to pass it on to another member. Jun was so worried that they wouldn’t succeed, they were the first cute group of BC, and their first win really cemented that their hard work paid off.

+ Day Thirty: Think about your muse’s life down the road. Where would they be and what would they be doing? Would they still be in the entertainment industry? Would they settle down and have a family?

Jun wants to be a celebrity, but not necessarily an idol. She’s fine with becoming obsolete in the Korean industry, so long as she can establish a career in China first, as an actress or even a soloist. She does want a family, but she doesn’t think she’d be good at being someone’s family because of her own being pretty screwed up, so she doesn’t really see it in her future.

#& development.#i almost forgot 2 post this i know myself

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fmdduri · 2 years ago

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famedscheduleq422 - self para.

character(s) involved: n/a. about: duri’s relieved that there’s only one more music show performance for the stealer on the last day of promotions - now, he won’t have to do the stealer choreography for days straight. trigger warnings: injury mention tw. notes: another random idea but we’ve got ‘em done! word count: 782.

duri had been wishing for this day for a majority of the stealer promotions, truth be told. he really enjoys the song, it’s a really good song, and something that makes sense for titan to release. however, duri wasn’t a fan of the choreography, in a sense. sure, he had it done, he was able to do it, and make the choreography look good with the skill-set he has as someone without a dance position in the group. but, it was killing his leg, in a sense, and he just wanted the promotions to be over. truth be told, he hopes the next comeback is a bit easier on the choreography. but, it seemed they were getting slightly more intense, even if the group was older. perhaps it was bc entertainment’s way to show that their eldest group was able to keep up with the newer generation, simply to prove something. simply, one of the reasons why duri has put his complete focus on vocal based songs, leaving his solo songs with choreography in the dust now - especially since they’re the ones that made his flare ups start back up.

all the early morning things had been completed; the arriving in the cold, the practice run, making sure everything was good to go, and the makeup, as well as hair being done. soon, he’d be getting into the last stage outfit for the stealer promotions, and the promotions day would soon be over with, and he wouldn’t have to worry about about music show day for the stealer - only having to worry about when titan would have to do that choreography and things like that were coming up. but, at least, it was a little more on a lesser scale; at least, that’s what duri was telling himself. nonetheless, he shakes it off, and it was time for coffee; then again, it seemed it was always time for coffee.

he was always thankful when there was coffee waiting for him; even if it was usually always an iced americano and duri was cold, but he always accepted it with gratefulness. for some reason, duri always drank a little quickly, but not too quickly, since he didn’t want to get sick, but he also wanted to save some time in what he was doing. he always quite liked being the first one dressed, then leaving the room for a short period of time, simply to breathe amongst the chaos that would become of the titan waiting room with everyone running around, as well as getting ready. so, he finishes up that iced americano, allowing it to surge through his bloodstream, and he moves to get ready for titan’s stage.

it was the usual thing, walking around the backstage and saying hello to the staff members that lingered around. really, duri was only doing this to kind of ignore everything else - aka him being really worried about his leg that was sore, all the floor choreography and jumping that he’d have to do, as well, which has caused the flare up anyways. but, nonetheless, he’s just trying to ignore it because if it’s one this - park duri is going to get through it because it’s something that he always does. so, he kind of just takes the time to himself to simply ignore the thoughts, the feelings that he has, and goes on his way. until it was time to finally perform.

all the worries that duri would tend to have was always something that seemingly washed away when he got on stage, when the stage persona would simply appear. the worries always seemed to be far away, when in reality they were close - but, they really weren’t there when he was on stage. except for the times when he could really, really feel the pain in his leg, always doing his best to ignore it. he was doing that right now, with how sore it simply felt. but, he was going to get through the performance, even if it was something that sometimes felt so long, especially in a moment when you’re ready for it to end. but, nonetheless, duri gets through it, he pulls the performance off without a hitch, and does great; as he tends to always do. once it ends, it was as if a weight had been lifted off of his shoulders.

he tends himself that once he got home, he’d rest well, and he’d have a nice soak in the bath to help the soreness, to prepare for all the practices, and everything else he was going to have to do for the rest of the year. nothing to worry about, at all.

#famedscheduleq422 #☆ ⠀ ── self para ⠀ !

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boyfriem-moved · 6 years ago

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pl ea se info dump about your ocs

oh boy ok you,,, don’t want this but u already asked and it’s too late to go back so im just gonna start talking

ok so i have like 2 separate oc worlds and 3 seperate groups of ocs within those (these are just the main ones, there’s ones i don’t think abt anymore and ones i’ve abandoned and fan characters and stuff but if i went over all of that i’d be here all day so i’ll just stick with these)

so the first world is just our world, modern day, but with magic. there’s this one town, barnsley, georgia, that’s cut off from the rest of the world. most ppl drive by without ever noticing it, and if someone tries to go in who’s not wanted the town will disappear or try to kill them or just do something to keep them out. it’s a vaguely sentient town. in barnsley there’s a big forest and no one’s ever gone in and come out the other side. there’s ambiguous danger in the forest, mostly faeries who will make you fall in love with them and then kill you and harvest your bones and stuff.

so there’s like 4-6 characters depending on where we’re looking at in terms of what storyline i’m following (this is the one that i did nanowrimo for three (3) times and have over 100,000 words of thrown out content for and obsess over constantly so it has the most solid plot and there’s a lot of it) so anyways i’ll just go over all 6 and try to make it as simple as possible without talking about converging storylines and alternate drafts and stuff

ok! so! vi larson-park is the daughter of one of barnsley’s 3 great magicians! her mom could do all sorts of crazy magic and i can’t get into the parents’ backstory here bc they have a whole OTHER story and that’s just. too much (maybe i’ll do that later? we’ll see) so yeah her mom did magic and also made some bad deals and stole some stuff from the woods and indirectly caused some ppls deaths but it’s like fine probably. so vi grew up with her mom, natalie, her mom’s witch girlfriend, erica, and erica’s twin brother, simon (who i’ll get into later and also who doesn’t exist in half the scrapped drafts) in this big empty DEFINITELY HAUNTED house on the edge of town where erica grew up and they were good and happy. then like a year ago natalie was killed by nick, who i’ll also get into later, and that’s kinda the end of her story, vi and erica are obviously devastated and they have a funeral and vi starts having the occasional odd dream here and there, but things go back to normal after awhile. vi has absolutely no aptitude for magic, and because of that she often feels alienated by erica and simon who are VERY magical and always talking about things she doesn’t understand. she’s fiercely loyal and protective and not really scared of anything. she’s always wanted to know what’s in the woods but knows better than to go looking

tyler is vi’s best friend and also 50% whole entire Not Human. he either came from the woods or was found outside a random gas station in like arizona or something depending on which draft i’m going by, but either way he was found around two years ago and has been clinging to vi ever since. his backstory is a big unknown to the human characters and no one really knows anything about him. he’s a faerie prince, the son of the erlking, who’s sort of the ambiguous villain of the story but i’ll get into him later. he has 3 brothers, sorrel, dain, and kell. sorrel is the oldest and known as the winter prince, then there’s kell for spring, dain for summer, and tyler himself for autumn. (btw his name isn’t actually tyler technically it’s robin but i'm not gonna get into that rn.) sorrel is cool and collected and stone cold bitch, and all he wants is to be king so he roped tyler into helping him try and kill their dad, which failed, so then he lost his position in the royal court and now he’s doing tons of morally gray stuff in an attempt to get back in his dad’s favor so he can kill him for real this time. dain and kell are sort of nothing at all and you don’t need to know anything except dain is really mean and violent and kell is an ally(?). after the whole failed killing debacle tyler ran away to barnsley in hopes that he could find something in common with the humans, since he’d been a faerie all his life and couldn’t stand it. he’s quiet and doesn’t like doing or saying things unless he absolutely has to, is generally unhelpful unless something benefits him, scared of being alone, hates being indoors, runs around barefoot and only eats food from the woods. he’s kinda like an outdoor cat.

nick and marcus jacobs are brothers and general hooligans. nick is the older one (he’s 19) and marcus is 15 and they grew up in barnsley for the first 14 years of marcus’ life until marcus accidentally killed their dad and they left town. which the dad killing subplot is really a lot to get into but basically their dad was the second magician, along with vi’s mom, except the effects of magic on a person can kinda drive a person insane and the others managed to keep it together but he slowly went crazy until he was paranoid and in pain all the time and ended up taking a lot of it out on his sons which ended in him threatening marcus and marcus in an act of self defense unleashing raw magic power he didn’t know he had and accidentally killing him and also taking out all the power in the entire town and causing a minor earthquake. it was a Big Deal. so yeah they buried their dad in the backyard and skipped town. after their dad died all his magic went down to nick so nick has newfound power (marcus btw has never been able to use magic since then and has no idea how he did it) but he also has voices in his head and weird dreams, and with all the voices yelling at him all the time he realizes that the only way to get rid of them is to get rid of the magicians. his dad did some magic bullshit that made him the vessel for the magic once he died but the other magicians didn’t so he doesn’t have to kill anyone besides them and it makes sense bc i say it does shut up. so for like a year they drive around aimlessly, meet with and kill vi’s mom, meet with and kill aidan’s dad (i’ll get to aidan once i’m done here), pick up a hitchhiker depending on which version of the story i’m telling, then go back home where they’re not really welcome anymore but that won’t stop them. nick is cold and mean and. y’know. a murderer, but he also loves marcus greatly and gets attached to people more easily than he would like to admit. he’s sort of closed himself off and resigned himself to killing “for the greater good”, but it’s hard for him, and there’s definitely people he wouldn’t kill. he fully planned to, once he got rid of the magicians, never kill again, and he keeps that promise. marcus is soft spoken and anxiety ridden and a bit of a crybaby and he hates death and doesn’t fully trust nick and doesn’t trust himself either. on the outside he appears bitter and angry constantly.

aidan mulligan is a HOOLIGAN! a whole entire rowdy boy! he’s also the son of the third magician and marcus’ ex(?) boyfriend? more like boyfriend on standby. it’s complicated. there’s nothing special to him, he’s rowdy bc his parents never gave him enough attention so he runs around with people he doesn’t really like and is always getting into trouble. his favorite activities are skipping church and running the local cryptid watch am radio station, which no one listens to and which he used to run with marcus. he misses marcus dearly and keeps waiting for him to come back. he’s loud and talkative and his mood changes drastically but is always on the highest setting. he’s either screaming-and-throwing-things angry or unable to shut up and bouncing all over the place. not to pick favorites but he’s my favorite i really love him. his life moto is “fuck you dad” basically. oh yeah nick killed his dad and stuff and it’s hit him hard but he’s not as torn up by it as he probably should be, which he feels terrible about. his mom lives on the other side of the country and doesn’t currently know his dad is dead, which isn’t really something you’re supposed to keep secret generally but the mulligan family said fuck the rules. he has two brothers, connor and seamus (connor older, seamus younger) and loves both of them though he would never admit it.

simon diederich is the secret special bonus magician!! also i think i gotta talk abt parent backstory for him so,,,, here goes: basically, simon and vi’s mom and marcus and aidan’s dads all stole magic from the forest in a way that doesn’t super make sense but it’s my story i can do what i want. and in the process simon died and they had to leave him behind in the woods, but then since the magic in the forest was weak it couldn’t continue being formless or else it would turn into nothing since so much of it had been damaged by the humans or w/e. so it took simon’s body as a vessel and resurrected him with all his old memories but also 100% more magic power. so he took that power and went back home and has been just straight chillin, unaging, for 30-ish years. he got like. immense wisdom when he was resurrected and is also possessed by a sentient forest so he does what the forest wants which is protect the town and fistfight anyone he doesn’t like. he’s obnoxious and immature and thinks he’s hot shit and loves these trees more than he loves other people probably

bonus character: lila is the ghost who lives in vi’s attic. she’s like 7. i love her

THAT HURT MY FINGERS TO TYPE. I HAD TO MOVE TO GOOGLE DOCS TO DO THIS BC TUMBLR KEPT LAGGING AND MY WORD COUNT IS NEARING 2000 BUT W/E LETS KEEP GOING

next, still in the same universe, are the residents of greywell, washington. greywell is what’s on the other side of those woods no one can cross in barnsley. how does that work? magic obviously. greywell is a lot like barnsley but more sinister, it’s a lot newer so the characters aren’t as fleshed out (with one exception) and there’s really only 3 i actually care abt so this ones gonna be a lot shorter. i’ve thought abt plot but nothing solid so there’s some...stuff but mostly this one will be short

zoe hammond: amateur teen witch who’s also cursed. she has an eye on her left hand which is always watching her and she wants off desperately. u know how i said in some versions of the story nick and marcus pick up a hitchiker? that’s her, going to barnsley bc she knows its magic and hopes someone there will know how to fix her. she respects authority and stays in line for the most part, but she also takes shit from no one. she’ll talk to nearly anyone but doesn’t particularly like anyone in town, also she sells witch shit out of the trunk of her car in the school parking lot

wesley: short rowdy trans boy with absolutely no self control who’s stoned all the time and does crazy things for the adrenaline rush and doesn’t bind safely and falls in love with every boy he meets. he skateboards bc of course he does. he’s always ready to fight and punches ppl a lot but usually ends up losing fights bc he’s tiny. i love him

noa: ok this dude went into the woods one (1) time and now there’s this magic glove stuck on their hand? and a ghost in their phone?? and they’re literally so confused and they’ve never had any friends in their entire life but all of a sudden that weird lesbian witch and her crazy skateboarder friend are talking to them all the time and they died? except they woke back up like nothing had happened even though their head basically blew up? and there’s like faeries and stuff coming after them because they want the glove and they can’t get the stupid thing off their hand and they have no idea what’s going on noa is an absolute nervous wreck who’s really fun to draw and they have no idea what’s happening to them and tbh i don’t rly know what i’m doing either but i’m having a good time

ada: the phone ghost.

last set!! i have them all done already from this thing i did with @dogstoes so i’ll just paste them in but first background:

this is a completely separate world, it’s like this 1910s era fictional city with magic and shit. the magic system is kinda complicated but basically there’s elemental magicians who are heavily tied to religion, they’re believed to be sacred and god sent by p much every organized religion. they do elements, it’s pretty simple. then there’s blood magicians who can basically transmute but they have to use their own blood to do it. anyone can learn to be a blood magician but most ppl don’t want to bc. blood ow. blood magicians are an ABOMINATION AGAINST GOD and there’s a stigma against them in religious communities so they tend to populate big cities and less religious places. there’s also healers who are born like elementals and can’t be trained, they’re isolated from both schools of magic bc unlike elementals they’re not pure (well, depending on which religion you ask) and unlike blood magicians they’re not common. born magicians are born with pure black eyes (irises? the colored part. not just all black) that differentiate them from nonmagic ppl. there’s also super intense mary sue magicians who r rare and born with red eyes (i started this world when i was 13 don’t judge me bitch) and they can shapeshift kinda? but in cool ways, it’s not just shapeshifting they could also make their skin tough or nails pointy or w/e. one of them specifically likes to harden his own blood in weapons it’s kinda metal. anyways here’s the character profiles from the google doc pasted in word for word

Characters (bc i suddenly decided this is Sharin With Rivers material If You Shall Take It):

So basically there's these 2 gangs, run by this woman Lyra Frey and this dude Lucas Sweeney, and they Do Not Like Each Other At All. Neither of them are good bc yknow...gangs….but lyra’s is like...better anyways here's characters

Lyra's dudes:

Emil Finch: 21, any and all pronouns, ace, lyra’s right hand man/ veteran of a bloody civil war (TECHNICALLY a war criminal but yknow…it's whatever). Likes cats and Arya, dislikes cigarettes and being short. Their birth name is Emilee, which they shortened to their liking when they moved to The Big City, and they used their father's name (Finn O'Malley) to join the war. They're a healer magician but ssshhh don't tell anyone. They used their powers to hurt people when they were in The War and now don't trust themselves, so they stick to traditional medicine thank you very much. (Also knives. They’re a big fan of knives.)

Arya Frey: 21, she/her, Lyra’s adopted daughter and mechanic. She has METAL LEGS and has to walk with a cane so she doesn't go outside much, mostly makes machines and strategizes for her mom. Likes drawing, Emil, making things/taking them apart, dislikes cold weather (it makes her joints hurt), magic, Drunk Emil. She has two cats named vriska and karkat. Everyone is suspicious of these names even though it's like 1910 and an alternate universe and homestuck doesn't exist.

Jaz Anaheim: 18, he/him, big gay disaster, a pickpocket who came to the Big City with his brother when he was 16 to work and send money to his mom, stole from a kingpin, joined a gang, watched his brother die in front of him, and lied to his mom for 2 years about his job and his brothers aliveness while he sent her blood money. He's a humble farm boy, no magic, tall and uncoordinated, basically all he can do is steal and flirt badly and he's very aware. Also where he came from magicians were rare because they were all drafted for the war so when he sees magic he's way too impressed. Likes loud music, people being interested in him, his family (just his mom now :’)), his hometown, dislikes the city, feeling disliked, himself, swimming

Sweeney’s band of assholes:

Elliott Sweeney: 24, he/him, Sweeney’s son and certified dad hater. He's a blood magician which are common and not that impressive but he’s good at what he does bc he did nothing but practice for like 6 years. His dad basically controls him and makes him work for him because he's useful. He resents his dad with every ounce of his being but doesn't have the spine to do anything about it. After accidentally burning down part of their house and killing his mom his dad sent him away to the summer house in the country, where he lived for the past 6 years, obediently doing his dad’s bidding and learning how to control his magic until he got fed up and burned that house down (on purpose this time), making his dad move him back to the family house in the city so that he could keep an eye on him. he’s one of those badass mega magicians who does blood swords and stuff, he’s also spent so much time reading that he knows a lot about magic theory. Quiet, reserved, extremely petty, but shows a sense of humor around his sister. Never really knew Alise growing up so he’s more of a cool uncle than a brother. Likes his sister, learning things, astronomy, dislikes his dad, Emil, doing magic, fighting, feeling trapped

Alise Sweeney: 14, she/her, her dad named her Alise with an S because he's just that much of an asshole. She's a self trained blood magician and good at what she does. She hates her dad almost as much as Elliott does but she's also not a fucking baby about it. Is DEFINITELY planning on killing him at some point. Was raised to make jokes and do crime and her brother said if she does crime she's grounded. Has never been serious about anything ever, and probably has a screw loose. Has killed people. Is basically a tiny fighting machine. Her dad was rough on her growing up. Likes picking fights, Elliott and Atticus, pissing off her dad, causing trouble. Dislikes her dad, people stronger than her, tense situations, being alone

Atticus Grey: 16, he/him, not Sweeney’s son but hates him enough that he probably could be (in case you were noticing a theme here, sweeney is kinda unlikeable). His mom left soon after he was born and his dad ran up a huge debt and ended up working for Sweeney to pay it off, then died in a gang fight before he could get through it. Sweeney, the merciless motherfucker that he is, decided that Atticus would finish paying it off, and snatched him up as soon as he was 13. His dad used to hang out with Emil’s and so they ended up taking care of parentless Atticus (along with (extremely reluctant) Arya. Atticus is really close with Lyra’s entire crew because he's spent so much time around them. He's a fire magician who knows a bit of blood magic but barely uses it, and he's an angsty bitch. Likes Emil, being alone, dislikes everything else.

oh yeah then there’s those bitches in charge:

Lyra Frey is a [REDACTED] year old woman from [REDACTED] who moved to the city while fleeing from [REDACTED]. She was in the civil war briefly, fighting for the [REDACTED] side. Her real name is not Lyra, but is actually [REDACTED]. She loves Arya more than anything else probably. Sees Jaz as an unofficial son, is skeptical of Atticus, likes Emil but doesn’t trust them.

Lucas Sweeney is one of those rich bastards who also does crime on the side. He’s a politician but everyone and their mother knows he’s an absolute crime lord on the side. Has arguably more power than Lyra but has no idea how to use it, plus Alise has already recruited like half his employees into joining her uprising. He’s a selfish man and a terrible dad. No one likes him.

uh yeah that is. all!! this is over 3000 words jesus do asks have a word limit? i sure hope not

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yoonqisqirl · 7 years ago

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[BTS] The Umbrella Effect - [Namjin] !M!

Read on Ao3 Genre: Main: Fluff | Sub: Smut Type: MemberxMember [MxM] Members: Jin x Namjoon | Namjin Word count: 31k+ Soundtrack: “The Umbrella Effect” OST Playlist - [X] Dedicated: @queenjunghoseok Jen my bitch bc she wanted some Top!Jin && @wheresjhope && @jcnghope THANK YOU FOR EVERYTHING ♥♥♥ && @taesflower && @bangtan-tan && @megudragon && @gaystarwhales because Namjin ayeeee

Plot: Jin is Namjoon’s prince charming, his knight in shining armour, that he met on one fateful September morning, who showed him that a good romance doesn’t only exist in books.

How do you think all this started? Namjoon couldn't explain this to himself. How he woke up in the arms of a beautiful man just now, snuggling close on this December morning when just three months ago, this man had been a total stranger. Just three months ago, on an early September morning, when this beautiful stranger – a prince in shining armour – with an umbrella, saved him – the damsel in distress – and his book, from the rain that fell from the sky with a brazen assurance. It just happened.

Namjoon could have expected the rain the second the cold wind played with his hair, teasingly twisting it in all directions while he himself fought the chills that ran down his spine. But really, what else did he expect? Why would the sun shine on his day off? During September? Yeah right. Not that the weather would stop him from going out anyways.

He wanted to buy a new book for a while now. Bundles of pages and ink were already dwelling on the many shelves in his apartment, yet he wanted more. He had enough time to read. If he wasn't working, Namjoon would read. On his train ride to work, he would read. Travel by plane for a business trip? Not that that would ever happen, but he would probably read as well. Sometimes, even at work, he would read.

Hundreds of books, smiling at him every day, waiting for him to check them for blemishes before getting tossed into a box labeled 'rejects'. The former label read 'junk' but Namjoon did not like to call those books junk, just because no one wanted to read them. His co workers thought it was funny how easily he would zone out while reading those heavy lectures that made their own stomachs turn by just thinking about the amount of pages.

But on this day, this September morning, a few days before his birthday – was it two or three days? Namjoon forgot – He bought a new book. New as in 'he hasn't read it before', because the cracking leather back and yellow pages basically screamed 1963, without having to check the date in the book. The old lady at the second hand book store neatly placed the old book into a plastic bag, treating it like a treasure that she happily handed down to one of her descendants. She knew he would treat the book right. He always does.

He's been shopping at her store for so many years, rumors have it that he's the one that keeps the woman from closing the shop. “Maybe one day, you will come and give up a few books.”, she said and Namjoon smiled on his way home, thinking about how much money he could probably make by selling his books. But he didn't want to sell his books. They were too precious of a collection to him, even if none of them were related.

Why would he give up the sight of his collection every day when he comes home? When the sun is about to set and smiles one last time at his shelves, eying his knowledge in envy. Would he give up the smell of ink and leather, as well as the sound of pages swiping beneath his fingers? No, never.

The leafs under his feet were soggy and slippery, yet they felt like they were glued onto the pavement, looking like a rather ugly patchwork carpet which has had one too many holes. Chills crept up his skin as the wind whistled after him once again. He hugged his coat closer and pulled at his scarf with his free hand. A few blocks past the train station he was headed to, there was a cafe he knew of. The weather won't change that quickly, he thought while looking at the clouds in the distance as he crossed the street to get further away from his station. The windows of several bigger shops came into view. Clothes mainly.

One small shop in between. They were selling sweets, and even though their shop window was only the size of the mirror on his wall at home, they were selling well. Past the last corner, the wind was already waiting to assault him with another blow to make him shiver, and it would have brought tears in his eyes if his hat wouldn't have blocked the cold breeze that came for him.

When his eyes met with the windows of the cafe, he saw how full it was inside. Groups of friends, sitting so close they might as well be stacked upon one another. Tired elders that used the opposite chair to rest their handbags and suitcases. Namjoon gave up on looking for a place inside, right away. All he wanted was to sit down and read. If he was lucky, the waiter would dare to go outside and ask him to order, or if he wasn't up to order, to ask him to leave.

Step by step he walked towards a table on the terrace. The terrace had no roof and it wasn't clearly separated from the streets by anything, so it looked like an extended sidewalk, which people also used as such. The cold steel frame of the cheap cafe chair almost made him draw his hand back as he pulled it back. The woven basket construct, which formed the seat and back, bend under his weight as he let himself fall down into it. The plastic bag dangled around his wrist and hit against the steel frame, giving off a >thud< sound which was muffled by the plastic bag.

After a few moments of watching the people go by while Namjoon untangled the plastic bag, he realized that he won't be served today. At least they won't send me away for not ordering anything either, he thought with a shrug and opened his copy of Doctor Glas. It was one of the first copies to be released in English – every now and again, Namjoon likes to buy a book in English to challenge himself – and it was obviously worn out.

But not from reading. The inside of the book was rather untouched. The pages weren't as yellow as the edges. Whoever owned it before him had it stored somewhere, closed, probably in a shelf without a back, with lots of sunlight shining onto it. Yet, the cover seemed to be newer than the pages. Someone must have restored it already.

As his fingers trailed over the first few pages, he felt the cold wind breathe into his neck every time someone walked past him. Hoping the chair won't break, Namjoon pressed his back deeper into the back of his seat, hugging his coat before burying his face into his scarf, just deep enough to let the eyes peek over the rim of the dark brown fabric so he could read about the fictional Swedish physician Dr. Glas.

The first few words wouldn't stay in his head, appearing like a faint whisper before they were gone again and he re-read the sentence over and over. The sound of people walking and cars driving was distracting him too much. He re-read the sentence again, and again, and another time before the noise slowly faded out and the flow of the words came to him as steady as a streaming river.

Little drops of water started to fall from the sky but his mind was too focused and his fingers too numb to notice the change of weather after the first 15 minutes of reading. Not even a minute later, the drops became thicker, faster, and Namjoon almost jumped up as he saw the ink drip down the page. His hand was grasping for the plastic bag but the wind must have carried it away while he wasn't paying attention.

His eyes shot up at the sky, curious, helpless – he wasn't sure what exactly he was looking for – but suddenly a pastel pink umbrella came into sight. He thought a kind lady or young woman was behind the gloved hand that held the handle. On further inspections, the hand did not seem to belong to a petite lady so Namjoon looked up.

When he was graced by the sight of a man as beautiful as the sunrise that kissed his bookshelves hello and goodbye every day, his jaw dropped. If Namjoon's lips wouldn't have been covered by the scarf, this would have been a little embarrassing. The stranger's dark eyes were framed by a set of half moon shaped glasses that were covered in tiny drops. His blond hair that ended just above his eyes hung wet above the red-brownish frame of his glasses. There was something in his eyes, Namjoon couldn't tell exactly what it was, it was the look of someone who just found something. Innocence, admiration, wonder. It felt like the time stopped between them while Namjoon was eying the man in front of him.

Namjoon’s gaze wandered over the other’s face, making its way down to examine his lips. Oh those lips, he thought. Looking so full and kissable soft with this pinkish tone, shaped into a tiny 'o'. With a tardy hand movement, Namjoon closed the book in his hand, hoping he wouldn't smudge the pages any more. His other hand reached to his scarf and as he got close enough to pull it down a bit, something changed in the man's facial expression. “Thank you.”, Namjoon said, “Ah- Thanks a lot! I uhm...” the stranger started to smile as Namjoon got up from his chair and thanked him with a bow. When he bend up again, he noticed that he was taller than the man, nearly hitting his head on his umbrella.

Would it be enough to thank him? He was about to go on, to tell him how much he appreciates the gesture of keeping him dry and saving his book. He wanted to tell him that he just bought the book and would be very frustrated right now if it wasn't for the pastel pink umbrella. A small chuckle escaped the stranger's lips and he suddenly seemed shy. “Ah, don't mention it, really. I'm glad to be of help.”, he replied and shook his head. - Back at this time Namjoon thought this was the end. They would say goodbye and part ways like nothing really happened - “You seemed so lost in your book, I couldn't just stand by and watch.”, he added and Namjoon's face morphed into a smile, showing off his dimples.

They always were his special charms. All his friends loved his dimples. The lady at the bookshop loved them too. She would always tell him about how he reminded her of her son who also had dimples and he would always smile just to see that look of a happy mother in her eyes. The fact that her son left her, together with her first husband, when he was still young, was only mentioned once and never talked about again.

“It would have been a shame if the book got drenched.”, Namjoon smiled and his hand found a way to get tangled in his scarf. He shook his hand to free it from the woolen mess as he continued: “I just bought it and I was really looking forward to read it.” The stranger gave him an interested smile. He wanted to listen. When this signal arrived in Namjoon's head, he couldn't stop his own mouth from talking. Not that he wanted to stop. If he would have known by then where this conversation would lead to, not right on that day, but months in the future, he would have kicked off his blanket every night in regret – but now, he did not have to regret anything.

“I was so eager to read it that I couldn't wait to get home. I even walked past my train station just to get here. Can you believe this?”, Namjoon asked and the other man laughed. Suddenly, another look was plastered on his face but Namjoon was too busy pushing back the chair to notice it. “Oh! You're headed to the train station too?”, the man asked, still carefully holding his umbrella above Namjoon, a little higher than before, who replied with a nod. “We can head there together. There's enough space under my umbrella for the both of us.”, the man suggested and Namjoon gave another bow before uttering his appreciation.

“I'm Kim Seokjin, but you can call me Jin, for short.”, the man, who just introduced himself to Namjoon while they started walking away from the cafe, said with a smile and Namjoon was quite shocked. They have just met, and he would already let him call him Jin? “I'm Kim Namjoon.”, he replied and just as he spoke his name, he realized something - “Wait, you're a 'Kim' too?”, he blurred out and Jin laughed. “You're a 'Kim' too? Ha! What a funny thing to say.”, he repeated, not answering Namjoon's question. Not that he needed to. He already confirmed that his family name was Kim.

“Are you really ok with me calling you Jin? We just met… and you seem to be older than me.”, Namjoon added after their feet carried them to the edge of the streets where they waited for the traffic light to change. “Oh really? I thought you were my age.”, Jin's reaction showed how confused he was by his misjudgment, but he wasn't ashamed or shy about it. “92?” - “94.” - “Oh you're really younger. Strange… I thought you were my age or older because of how tall you are.”, Jin uttered and the masses of people that passed by signalized both of them that the lights changed from stop to go.

They were walking close, almost wrapped around the umbrella to not walk into another person, but with a respectable space between the two of them to not make the other uncomfortable. It felt weird enough to share an umbrella and a conversation with a total stranger. “You can still call me Jin. I'm so used to people calling me Jin instead of Seokjin.”, he explained with a rather annoyed sigh at the end. “Really? Because I like the name Seokjin.”, Namjoon mumbled, partly because he did not want to be rude to someone who's older, but also because he actually liked the name Seokjin.

Saying Jin felt like one's everyday life, way too casual, walking down the street in the cold while strangers pass by, maybe giving you a glimpse or two. Seokjin however felt like sitting near a fireplace, cuddled in a blanket, with soothing music in the background and cups of tea that had just the right temperature, paired with an unknown but somehow caring feeling around you.

Namjoon couldn't tell what kind of feeling it actually was at that time. He was just much more comfortable with calling him Seokjin. Not much of a surprise, Jin preferred being called Seokjin, too, and it made him much more relaxed once Namjoon said his last words.

They passed some more shops and Seokjin suggested they share some sweets once they reached the small candy store that Namjoon walked past earlier. The inside of the store was crowded with boxes and shelves and overall not bigger than Namjoon's living room. Seokjin paid for a pack of 10 sweet cakes and gave Namjoon a sign to leave. Outside the shop, Seokjin handed his umbrella to Namjoon so the younger one could open it while he himself would open the plastic box their sweet cakes came in. When Namjoon was about to continue walking, not noticing that Jin was opening the box, Seokjin took out one of the sweet cakes and pressed it in the other's palm. Startled, Namjoon turned around and as Seokjin's hand retreated, the cake fell on the wet ground and Namjoon almost stepped onto it.

“Ah, no!”, Namjoon sighed as he picked up the soggy and dirty pastry, “I dropped it, I'm sorry. I didn't expect you to hand me one right away.” It was wiggling in his hands and almost fell apart from the water that the spongy cake soaked up. Seokjin just laughed. Despite knowing that it partly was his fault to just press it into Namjoon's hand, Seokjin couldn't help but laugh. His friends would consider him mad, laughing at a delicious cake that fell on the floor rather than mourning over the loss and being in a bad mood about it. “It's ok. We still have some more.”, Seokjin assured and took out another one while Namjoon threw away the one that fell down.

This time, he carefully reached out for it and as he was sure he wouldn't drop it again, he bowed his head and thanked Seokjin. They continued their way while eating and chatting a little more. They went from knowing each other's names and birth years to knowing each other's jobs and birthdays and hobbies. Namjoon worked in a local library and Seokjin was a waiter in a bistro at the other end of town, a few streets away from the cafe they met. A few times, they even missed the traffic light switching because of how deep they were concentrating on their conversation. Of course they did not mind at that time.

It's not like they felt uncomfortable with each other – oh no, the opposite even – so they chuckled every time they stood at a traffic light and one of them would ask “Oh wait! Did we miss the lights again?” before actually paying attention. The strangers around them were slowly starting to not bother them anymore as they kept walking and talking and while their minds were occupied with what has been said and what to say next, their bodies moved on their own, evading oncoming pedestrians even if it meant they had to almost collide with each other.

Their feet knew the way and the pace that would get them there. Another turn and then up the stairs, away from the small sidewalk that was stuffed with people and their umbrellas. The way towards the train station was short and uneven, covered in fallen leaves that made the pavement shimmer even more.

Both men had lost their sense of time as they walked and talked together, sharing the last sweet cake by breaking it in the middle. It was when a woman hurried past them on the slippery road that they noticed their train was coming in very soon. A moment of eye contact. “Should we run?”, Seokjin asked as their ears were filled with the sound of a train in the distance. “If we run we might catch it.”, Namjoon said and their pace became faster. “Well then let's hurry!”, Seokjin replied and grabbed a hold of Namjoon's hand around the umbrella, practically dragging him with him as they started running. The umbrella was straight and steady but the rain still whipped against their faces, making them squint and wipe their eyes.

They saw the train coming to a halt at the station and all of the sudden, so did they. It felt like the world was tumbling as suddenly their vision tipped over and the ground was swept away under their feet, kicking back a few loose leafs as Namjoon slipped backwards and pulled Seokjin with him. Namjoon landed on his back while Seokjin fell on his side, pushing himself up on his elbow. They let go of the pastel pink umbrella that was now somewhere behind them, tainted with mud and dirt. The men let out groans of pain as they sat up on the ground. They looked at each other, faces painted with pained expressions, but they didn't say anything. Way to go, Namjoon thought, you made both of you miss your train. You should apologize.

“Ah sorry, I shouldn't have suggested that we run.”, Seokjin suddenly uttered out of breath before Namjoon could speak up. “No, it's ok. I'm sorry for making you fall.”, he replied and helped Seokjin up after he was back on his feet himself. Namjoon quickly fetched the umbrella and wiped his hands over the dirty fabric in an attempt to clean it but he only smudged the mud along the way. Annoyed, the younger man sighed and went back to Seokjin who was holding his arm. “Seokjin, did your hurt your arm?” - “Ah, it's ok, really, don't worry. It will be over once I'm home.” Namjoon was reaching out with the umbrella so Seokjin could grab it but instead, the older one hooked his arm around Namjoon's, who got quite flustered and pulled up his scarf.

“My arm is going to be fine.”, Seokjin explained as he slowly started walking again, making Namjoon tag along, “but I think I hurt my ankle. I hope you don't mind me-” - “No, no it's fine. After all, I made you fall.”, Namjoon said a little shy as Seokjin slightly leaned on him, whispering a faint “Yeah you made me fall.”, that Namjoon barely heard. The train was departing and Seokjin let out a sigh before looking back. His expression changed from annoyance to surprise and before Namjoon turned around too, he heard Seokjin say “You dropped your book!”. Quickly, Namjoon pressed the umbrella into Jin's hand and hurried back, paying attention to where he was running so he wouldn't slip and fall again.

When he reached the book, he bend down and his back was filled with pain. With a groan he slowly picked up the book that, as if it was protected through a miracle, was not soaked in water and ruined forever. When he got back to Seokjin, who patiently waited at the spot Namjoon left him, he stuffed the book in his coat and gave away his arm to support Seokjin again. Their eyes met again and despite the many raindrops on Seokjin's half moon shaped glasses, Namjoon could see something sparkling in his eyes.

Without another word, they continued their walk towards the train station. The train was long gone by the time they got there, and so were the people waiting for it. Only the two of them stood at the platform. The rain was playing a monotonous melody on the tense fabric of the umbrella as neither of them knew what to say. Seokjin was constantly moving his leg and sometimes his movements made him twitch a little. I hope I can still go to work next week, he thought as he leaned on Namjoon who was absently staring into the distance.

The sky in the distance was grey and cloudy and it seemed like there was no end to this rain. “Today was very exciting.”, Seokjin suddenly said and Namjoon's gaze was guided by the older man's voice. “I usually just walk home from work without anything really happening.”, he continued and smiled, “but today was actually really nice. I could do that again.” - “Really?”, Namjoon asked disbelieving and just then he realized how glad he was to have spend his day with this stranger – no – with this friend. “I was having fun too… and I wouldn't mind doing that again either.”, Namjoon muttered while thinking about everything they talked. “Maybe, except the slip and fall incident.”, he quickly added with a chuckle and Seokjin sighed dramatically.

“Well if I would get to be held by you again then I wouldn't even mind that.”, Seokjin teased and Namjoon had to laugh. It wasn't a mocking laugh, not at all, it was more a surprised and flustered laugh. His dimples graced his face again and the rain seemed like it was non existent after all. Seokjin smiled at the sight of Namjoon's happy face – Namjoon still swears that when Seokjin smiled the sun came out that day – and soon the next train arrived. They boarded the train and sat down and it felt like heaven for a second. Just then they realized how much their feet actually hurt.

Seokjin threw his head back and let out a satisfied groan as he felt a wave of relaxation wash over him. Namjoon gulped – Why? He wasn't sure. – and took a deep breath. A few seconds passed and the almost empty train started rolling forward. For a moment, Namjoon thought Jin fell asleep, but he soon faced the younger man again with a smile. “So when will we see each other again?”, Seokjin asked and Namjoon was taken aback. He was just looking at him for what felt like a whole minute before he actually processed what he just heard.

It's not that he didn't want to see him again but he was quite shocked at that moment. Seokjin kept on smiling. Namjoon's mind went blank. When will they see each other again? – He didn't know. – “Uhm-”, was the final sound he managed to get out of his throat. “When fate decides to let us bump into each other again.”, he said with a soft smile and Seokjin seemed confused. But there was more. “If you can't wait that long, I guess next week will do too. I just happened to have a day off then again.”, he added with a slightly ironic tone. Of course he had a day off. He would have. The amount of time he spends at work, staying overtime and collecting hours that will be turned into free time, would manage to get him another day off.

Seokjin started to chuckle and fished his phone out of his pocket to mark the date. Then, a pause. He looked up to Namjoon with a rather blank expression. “Hey, can I have your number?”, he asked and Namjoon's heart skipped a beat. – Why? He couldn't tell – Hasty fingers dug through the pockets of his coat to get the silvery phone out. “Sure.”, Namjoon uttered through his scarf as he kept looking. The fear that he might have lost it struck him but the panic was wiped away once he found it. They exchanged numbers and – Seokjin told Namjoon much later – if he would have looked up, Namjoon would have caught Seokjin smirking.

The smirk was covered up with a cough and a hand in front of Seokjin's pretty pink lips that caught Namjoon's eye again. Whoever kisses those lips is the luckiest person on earth, Namjoon thought at that moment – He still thinks so, now. But boy! He himself is the luckiest person on earth – and little did he know, Seokjin was also mesmerized by the other man's full lips. The train kept rolling along the way that someone else set for it but the way Namjoon and Seokjin had to go was not handcrafted by anyone else than themselves.

~*~

“Why would you put me in a position like this?”, Namjoon whined as he sorted in the new books that just arrived – and by just arrived he meant that they arrived the night before his day off and no one bothered to sort them in until now. His co-worker, a man not much older than Namjoon, named Hoseok, who took this job for different reasons than Namjoon, smiled at him from the end of the aisle. “Come on, you're great at this job. You love your books and you love this library. No one is more suited for the office than you.”, he explained.

Right, Namjoon thought, if it wasn't for me, none of my co-workers would actually take care of this library. It's a shame that his boss had to retire. Actually, Namjoon hadn't spend much time with his boss. The first few weeks, they had a chat once or twice, but as Namjoon started to get familiar with the building and the furnishings that held books with the most amazing stories, he rather engaged in the stories a 20 year old romance novel could tell rather than the stories of a 60 year old, unmarried man that was his boss.

“Can I be honest with you, Namjoon?” - That smile again - “Of course, Hoseok.” - “Look, I don't want to run this thing. I'm more likely to ruin this thing, haha! Get it? Uhm-” he cleared his throat “What I'm trying to say is… if you don't take the job, which also comes with a raise by the way, this library will probably close in – what? One or even just half a year! But if you get to be the manager, the boss, the leader of this mess, this library will last forever! Or like… for as long as you live.”, Hoseok joked and Namjoon ran his hand down the back of a book as new it could have been wrapped in plastic just today.

“Uhm- You forgot to take off the plastic wrap.”, Hoseok mentioned and Namjoon rubbed his forehead as he pulled out the book again with such force that the ones next to it came down stumbling with it. He really wasn't himself. Too many things occupied his mind. First, the thing about his boss. Who would take the position to run the library? Everyone wanted to keep their jobs but no one was brave enough to consider taking the burden to become the boss and run this library. But that wasn't the only thing on Namjoon's mind that stressed him.

It's been three weeks since Namjoon has seen Seokjin the last, or rather the first, time. They wanted to meet but time always forced them to exchange text messages that ended up in a “Later for sure!” or a “tomorrow is another day.” which led up to a “Next Week, I promise” and left both of them a little hurt. At least Namjoon.

Hoseok helped him pick up the books and pushed them back into the shelve, his smile suddenly replaced with a frown. “Are you ok? Are you not feeling well? Or are you mad because of the office thing? I didn't mean to-” - “No it's ok. I'm just… over-thinking stuff. If I would take the position, I'd have even less time.”, Namjoon mumbled, taking a break from sorting the books. His eyes were roaming over the several backs of the books he still had to sort, distracting him from the almost mocking tone in Hoseok's voice.

“Time? That's what you're worried about? Namjoon, all you do in your free time is read. It's as if you live in the books! But hey, if you own this library you can read all you want. You can move into this place and no one would mind.”, Hoseok laughed, and Namjoon felt a little more hurt than he thought he would be. Was that his image? The book lover that doesn't live in the real world but just drowns himself in his books? Did people really think that? Yes, he likes books but… does he really want to escape reality through them? It's not that my reality is bad it's just… boring, Namjoon thought.

“I'll consider taking the position.”, he then mumbled, still lost in his thoughts. Hoseok's hands dropped onto the other's shoulders as he happily shook him, a smile stretched across his lips and working like a mirror, making Namjoon smile on the outside. “See? I knew this argument would get you to think about it!”, the other one replied and proudly crossed his arms before walking back to his position at the entrance.

Namjoon knew that Hoseok would leave work early again. Many of his co-workers often do that because people don't come in late. They always go out to eat and want him to tag along, but Namjoon stays. If he's good at something it's reading, waiting and staying. After Hoseok left him behind, his smile slowly faded as he ran his fingers over several book covers that seemed either way too plain or way too stuffed to attract anyone's attention.

What a mess, he thought and grabbed one of the plain books on the cart. The book was egg-shell white and had a pastel pink rose stretched across the cover and a title so cheesy he didn't want it stuck in his head. As soon as the first page flung over, Namjoon wasn't in his library anymore. He wasn't in Korea. He was in a small cottage upon a hill in France, experiencing the story of a certain Choi Haru, that hid from her family and their plan to give her hand away in marriage. It was when the sun slowly ducked away under the hill that the phone rang…

Seokjin used his break wisely. He used it to call Namjoon because he was tired of texting all the time. He wanted to hear his voice again. The voice that sounded like it was following its very own melody but still harmonized with the sound of the world around it. With rolled up sleeves and a loose lime green tie, Seokjin leaned against the wooden paneling of the break room, phone pressed against his ear as his head was filled with a loop of never ending, equal sounding, boring beeps instead of Namjoon's voice.

“Pick up...”, he whispered as he checked his watch as if time was running away from him. Time can not run, he thought, but why does it feel like it does? The monotone beeping stopped but Seokjin still wasn't greeted by anything else than computer generated sounds that told him Namjoon won't pick up. With a flick of his hand, away from his ear, Seokjin almost threw his phone away. Gripping it tightly, he checked the display as if he was expecting a call back right away. Somehow he knew, the call back wouldn't come, yet he couldn't take his eyes off his phone for more than the whole break.

He got back in position and a fellow worker greeted him right away. “The boss noticed you extended your break for 5 minutes.”, she whispered, observing the few people that were eating in the bistro. It was a joke, actually – She was his boss. “I know, I'm sorry. I was expecting a call.”, he apologized and checked his apron for stains, brushing off what he said like it wasn't that serious. The woman next to him frowned. “A call? Did something happen?”, she asked and Seokjin scoffed. No, the opposite, nothing happened, he thought.

“No, nothing. Something personal – Hello! Welcome in our bistro, how can I help?”, his conversation was cut short as a guest approached. A young woman, maybe 2 or 3 years younger. Her smile was as sweet as a banana cream pie and her soft red cheeks were the cherry on top. “I just wanted to ask if you had another napkin for our table?”, she said and her voice was confident, yet sweet, and it made Seokjin feel weird. A negative weird, like he was about to be jumped at.

“Yes of course.”, he said with a smile and grabbed a paper napkin from behind the counter. The woman smiled and opened her mouth to speak another few words: “Could you lend me a pen, by the way?” The negative weird feeling grew. “Yes.”, he said, still smiling, grabbing the pen from his apron and watched as the woman started writing her name and her number on the napkin. Seokjin took a deep breath. Oh, this feeling, he thought, the feeling of having to break someone's heart. As she finished, her smile grew with confidence.

As she reached out the napkin to Seokjin, his co-worker carefully took it away from her. “Oh my”, she said in a sickening sweet voice, “Would you look at that? I think you need a new napkin.” Her attitude shocked the female guest and Seokjin had to concentrate not to laugh. This strong attitude fit perfect to her honest and straightforward character. That's why they got along so well. She had an aura that drew Jin close and made him tell her his deepest secrets. She knew him.

“Don't you worry, I will bring you a new one right to your table.”, she added, looking at the shocked expression of the young woman. But before she could reply, the female waitress turned to Seokjin. “Mr. Kim? Would you mind going to the storage room and bring some new napkins to the front counter?”, she asked and even though Seokjin just saw that they were fully stocked up on napkins, he didn't refuse. It was a codeword. “Of course, Ms. Choi.”, he replied, bowing to the guest before leaving, hearing the guest yell that she will leave a bad review on the internet before the door fell shut.

Seokjin was waiting for almost 5 minutes before Ms. Choi entered the room. “Thanks.”, he muttered and they both started laughing. “You know”, she started, holding her stomach from all the laughter that she let echo through the shelves, “if I had a dollar for every time some girls walk into my bistro to confess to you, I could pay you more.”, she joked and Seokjin laughed. They shared many hours in this storage room, talking, just talking, about themselves. Ms. Choi found out about Seokjin's preference for men after a female guest got too obtrusive – that was also the day where they set up the codeword of “stocking up napkins” - and Seokjin ran in the storage room to keep his cool.

He wasn't one of those people that get angry easily, but god, he was annoyed that day. “So about the call...”, Ms. Choi suddenly muttered, a little more serious, “if it's personal, do you have a-” - “No… no. I don't have a partner, no.”, Seokjin assured but the groan he let out after that made it clear that yes, he did not have a partner but he would really like to have one. Namjoon, if possible. His boss noticed it.

“Ok but be careful. You don't want to get someone like that other guy before, right?”, she said and Seokjin had to swallow hard to keep him from puking. “Yes.”, he breathed, thinking back at the time when he was somehow drawn towards this mysterious young dark haired man with a temper that made you forget why you loved him but a smile that made you remember why you do. It wasn't healthy. Far from it.

“I'll give you another 5 minutes, ok? You know you still have to work overtime, do you?”, Ms. Choi added before turning around, opening the door to get out. Seokjin didn't answer. He didn't need to. It was already clear that he had to work overtime the second he stepped into the storage room. He checked his phone again just to be greeted by nothing else but the time.

It was at the time that his shift should have ended when Seokjin was still out in the guest area, cleaning tables, when a group of people entered. A man and two women. The man's smile was so bright it was lighting up the whole room, settling down in everyone’s face as he passed them. The women were following him as they all sat down at a clean table. Seokjin put away his cleaning rag and hurried to their table to get their order. It was late already so the menu changed, the bar was open and people were watching some sort of sports match while the barkeeper was polishing glasses and agreeing to all their opinions.

The group was chatting happily about their work and as Seokjin approached, he almost choked on his spit as the name Namjoon fell. “So, Hoseok, did you get Namjoon to take the position?”, one of the women asked. She was sitting in front of him, across the table. The man, Hoseok, smiled and leaned back. “He says he will think about it. But I'm sure he will take it. If no one else will take it, he has to. Our Joonie wouldn't want his precious library to close, would he?”, he laughed and the women laughed too.

Seokjin's head tilted to the side a little bit as he stopped in front of the table. Silent, he stood there, watching and waiting, listening and realizing. A few seconds later, Hoseok turned towards him. The surprised look on his face made Seokjin snap out of his trance with a smile, almost neatly without any noticeable sign of distress in is expression. “Good evening. Do you already know what you want to drink?”, Seokjin asked, pen and paper ready to collide.

The group looked at each other before taking a look at the available drinks. “Uhm, I'll have a coca cola.”, the woman next to Hoseok said, looking at him as if she needed some sort of confirmation. “I'll take a coca cola light, please.”, the woman across the table said, not even looking up. Now it was Hoseok's turn to order. “Do you have ice tea?”, he asked and his expression was so genuine that the fog that poked Jin's insides with dreadful thoughts lifted. “Yes. We have a fruit mix, lemon and peach. We also have a new green ice tea, if you would like to try that.”, Seokjin explained while writing down the other orders.

Hoseok made a dramatic pause, with a loud and very stretched “Hmm~” sound. A little too dramatic for Seokjin's liking, but he has had worse at this place. “I'll take the fruit mix.”, Hoseok replied, and put his hands behind his back. Seokjin nodded, noted the order down and bowed before asking if they already knew what they want to eat. Since it wasn't a traditional Korean restaurant, the group needed some time to decide. Seokjin left and rushed behind the bar. Within the blink of an eye, he was back at the table again, approaching slowly.

“It's such a shame I can't have him.”, the woman next to Hoseok complained rather loudly, “It would have been so nice. Imagine he would become the boss… if he was mine, I could come and go to work whenever I wanted! Not to mention the money he'd have!” The tray slipped but before any of the glasses could tip over, Seokjin got back into balance, stopping dead in his tracks as he eavesdropped to their conversation. No one noticed it. They were talking about Namjoon again. The seed of curiosity that was planted in his heart a few weeks ago was blooming.

Why would she want to have him? Or more important, why couldn't she have him? Namjoon didn't mention that he had a girlfriend. Why would he need to, Seokjin asked himself, it's not like he could tell that you might be interested in him. The conversation continued. “Oh, Hoseok, what do I do? The good men are always taken or...”, she said but her voice got more quiet with every word passing. – taken or what? - She looked at Hoseok, who gave her a weak smile. “You could have him!”, she complained loudly and Hoseok started to laugh, startling both women that sat with him, and Seokjin who was still standing far away, unnoticed by anyone.

It was as if he was a shadow, his black apron and pants, followed by the shoes, merging into one with the black granite floor. “Me? Oh no! You know I'm taken. And I wouldn't leave my Sugar for Namjoon.”, he uttered shyly, looking out of the window. For a second, Seokjin thought they saw him in the reflection. His lungs felt empty, his throat tied together. The blood running through his veins became icy and he felt nervous. Then, Hoseok turned back to his co-worker, not noticing Seokjin at all. He relaxed.

What are you doing, get going, he thought and was about to take another step when - “Oh come on. Would you rather have more money with Namjoon than to stay poor with your so called musician boyf-” - “I said no.”, Hoseok said determined, his smile not slipping away even an inch. His eyes wandered to the woman across which was more engaged in the top fashion trends flashing on her phone rather than the conversation the other two had. “The library is a safe space for people like us.”, Hoseok whispered but the emptiness of the dining area carried the echo to Seokjin, whose heart dropped at the sudden realization.

He let out a heavy but somehow silent sigh, as if he held his breath for all this time – did he really? He couldn't remember – and soon his feet started moving towards the table. “I'm sorry you had to wait.”, Seokjin apologized and placed their drinks onto the table, “Do you know what you want to eat already?” As he took their orders and went into the kitchen to pass it on, exchanging some tips with the cook, Seokjin felt his phone buzzing. His hand lazily reached into the pocket of his apron, fishing out the phone to check the cause of the buzz.

A message from his boss and one missed call from Namjoon. He called and I didn't notice, Seokjin thought, his wide shoulders sagging down in disbelief. He checked Ms. Choi's message first – which was a good idea – and read that he is free to go and he should get changed quickly because someone was expecting him. Without hesitation, he hurried into the dressing room and got rid of his apron, his work shoes, pants, shirt, everything! - almost everything – and got dressed in his street clothing. His phone buzzed again. He's waiting behind the building, at the side entrance!, the message of Ms. Choi read and Seokjin's heart jumped. Could it be Namjoon? The thought made his blood rush into his cheeks that lifted under the influence of a smile that drew his lips apart.

But what if it isn't him, he thought and his smile dropped. He couldn't risk not talking to Namjoon today. He flung his bag over one shoulder and pressed the field to dial Namjoon's number as he stepped into the short hallway and made his way to the door his boss mentioned. The long and plain sounds of computer generated beeps filled his ears just like it did during his break, but as he reached out to open the door to the side entrance, another sound filled his ears.

It was the muffled sound of a phone ringing. His hand, heavy like a chunk of metal, dropped down and forced the door handle to give up under his weight as he pulled open the door, revealing the back of a man that was about to press his phone against his ear, turning around because the sudden change of atmosphere and the loud clicking of the door startled him. Seokjin looked up into those dark eyes after what seemed so long and his smile was small, yet happy and carefree.

Namjoon's hand was slowly sinking, and as it was sinking his shocked eyes got calm. His lip, no longer sucked in by his teeth as his body and mind came to ease by the sight of the beautiful man that Seokjin was. The night was clear and cold, apart from some faint clouds that didn't hint on rain like the days and weeks before. It was a total different feeling. It felt like a total different realm. The clouds were drifting by as the two of them looked into each other's eyes as they suddenly walked up to one another and greeted each other with a handshake and a hug. It seemed so sudden, yet like they have been waiting to do only this.

“Namjoon! I finally get to see you!”, Seokjin's words were muffled in the other's hood. As they pulled away, Seokjin's bag got tangled into something as it was sliding off his shoulder. They looked down and Jin spied a plastic bag in Namjoon's hand. It was too packed to be a book, but maybe it were more than one. “Ah… I bought us some food. I thought we could hang out or walk around and eat something.”, Namjoon explained as he lifted up the plastic bag which swiftly curled around the strap of Seokjin's bag as they tried to undo the mess they caused. “You know we could just have eaten here. I could have served you.”, Seokjin replied with a playful wink once he freed his bag from the fangs of the white plastic monster that usually caused so much pollution all around the world.

The wink was unnoticed by Namjoon as he checked the inside of the bag, but Seokjin's words were still enough to make him smile. “I didn't want to bother you… also, I know some of my co-workers are here today. I didn't want to be split up between you and them.”, Namjoon explained, looking up, “After all, I came here because I-” - Namjoon didn't dare to say “I missed you” at that time, so he had a little pause - “because I wanted to spend more time with you, and not with them.”

Seokjin's smile turned into a shy laugh, disbelief filled his mind as his cheeks burned up in this cold night as he placed a hand on his friend's back. “Alright, let's go.”, the older man uttered and scooted a little closer to indicate that he was ready to leave. “What did you buy, by the way?”, he then added after taking the first few steps together. The wind played a song with the synthetic material of the bag in Namjoon's hands as he peeked inside.

“Fried chicken with rice and also noodles – I didn't know what you preferred – and some hot sauce, fried vegetables and uh-”, he listed, getting quieter as he asked himself if he forgot to buy Kimchi or if they didn't give him any. Seokjin didn't mind, not at all – he loves fried chicken – and the fact that Namjoon bought all this was enough to satisfy him. More than enough.

They were headed nowhere in particular. They just walked down the empty streets, headlights racing past them and streetlights guiding their way as the wind was dancing around them, gracing their skin with light touches that made Namjoon rub his hands. He might have been packed with layers and coats, touched up by a big grey scarf, but he had no gloves. Seokjin however, he had gloves. Late September nights tend to get very cold, especially when it’s the end of September and the cold breath of October mornings is already knocking on your windows.

The older man looked at Namjoon rubbing his hands. “Are you cold?”, he asked, stating the obvious as if he needed an answer for that. Namjoon hesitated and slid his hands into his pockets, lifting his shoulders up to his ears before easing again. “A little bit. I didn’t think it would be cold enough that I would need gloves, if I’m honest.”, Namjoon said and Seokjin nodded his head and took off his gloves. The expression on the younger one’s face signalized Seokjin that he better explains what he was about to do.

Seokjin smiled. “You can have my gloves.”, he muttered and reached them to Namjoon, who shook his head in response. Seokjin tilted his head, not retreating his hands. His eyes were fixed on Namjoon, who dug his hands deeper into his pockets, making the plastic bag rustle. “They are yours. If I take them, you’re hands will get cold.”, Namjoon said, “And that’s not helping any of us.” - of course he wanted to take them, but he was too shy – Seokjin rose an eyebrow, unimpressed by the other’s reason to not accept his gloves. Sure, it did make sense, but Jin didn’t want sense.

Was there a reason they met? Not really. Did fate set them up? Maybe. Do they both feel strangely drawn to each other and genuinely happy around each other? Hell yeah! Seokjin didn’t want any explanations to what the sense behind their meeting or his feelings was – Seokjin wanted Namjoon – and since he knew that it was possible, he wanted to show him. Slowly, Seokjin put on one glove, handing the other to Namjoon, who frowned at him. “I told you I don’t want your gloves. Your hands will be cold.”, Namjoon repeated and Seokjin shook his head again, placing his other hand on Namjoon's shoulder, stopping both of them from walking.

“One glove.”, he said and Namjoon looked around, confused, before looking down to the glove. “You take one, I take one.”, Seokjin explained and Namjoon smiled. He was looking for words to tell the other that it wouldn’t make any sense to only wear one glove, but he found himself in an endless labyrinth of possible reactions he could receive. Defeated, he took the glove and looked at it, taking a deep breath of the cold autumn air. As he slid his hand into the woolen glove, he noticed that the glove was rather tight around his fingers, yet it was still wearable for him.

Namjoon looked up at Seokjin, unexpectedly meeting his smile that framed his face more than those glasses of his. He took the first step to continue walking and Seokjin followed proudly. “So what about the other hand?”, Namjoon said jokingly, “Each one of us will have a warm and a cold hand?” To his surprise, Seokjin, an amazing actor, put on an innocent face paired with a played shocked expression. “Oh right! How didn’t I think of this.”, he muttered, shaking his head and making Namjoon smile with his performance. When his ungloved hand reached out for Namjoon's, the younger’s eyes went wide.

“I guess we have to keep them warm with our body heat then.”, Seokjin smiled and shot a wink to Namjoon – the wink, that killed it all – whose shoulders sagged imperceptibly and the shy blush on his face mixed with the blood that tried to keep his face warm in the cold. Namjoon didn’t reply, his tongue was tied, but the fact that he didn’t mind Seokjin’s hand in his – he even lightly squeezed it – was enough to lift up the older one’s heart.

For a while, they walked without speaking a word. As they reached the cafe they first met at, Namjoon was about to say something. Something like “Hey, look! The cafe where we met.” but he thought it was unnecessary to say so he kept walking in silence. However as Seokjin realized where they were, blinded and hypnotized by the street lights every time they made the shadows around them dance, he nudged Namjoon's arm and nodded towards the cafe. They smiled and kept walking. Seokjin imagined taking Namjoon to that cafe for a date. He would like it. Hopefully, they wouldn’t have to worry about rainy days when it would come so far.

They passed the train station for it was too early to go home just then. A few streets later, they crossed the street and followed their feet which lead them towards a bridge. The plastic bag hit Namjoon's leg and he pulled it up. “Oh right! We should find a place to eat before it gets cold.”, he said and spied a bench across the bridge. It was surrounded by a bit of green, almost like a little park area.

The bench was cold but their coats kept them warm and it was as they sat down that they had to let go of each other's hands when Namjoon placed the bag with the food between them. - A perfect night, right? - Namjoon laughed as he saw the single glove on his hand again and Seokjin joined in too. As the time passed, they ate and talked and laughed and smiled. They finished everything Namjoon bought and Seokjin closed his eyes and leaned back. The sigh he let out was stretched and pleased, as if he was in a state of mind that offered him peace, even if it was only for a short while. While the older man enjoyed to just breathe and relax, Namjoon put the trash into the plastic bag and threw it away into a nearby trashcan.

The almost freezing breeze that kissed his skin let his fingers curl and if he had opened his eyes, he would have seen the cloud that formed from his lips with every breath that escaped. All of the sudden, the cold that attacked his hand was fading as Namjoon's hand found its way around Seokjin's, fingers intertwining as if they were meant to hold each other. It felt warm and nice – very nice – and Namjoon was blushing so much he hid his face in his scarf. Seokjin chuckled as he opened his eyes and saw Namjoon all curled up.

Maybe it was because of the time, maybe it was because of how comfortable he felt, but Namjoon could feel his eyes slowly flickering, dragging his eyelids down in an attempt to make him fall asleep. It would be very inconvenient to fall asleep right now. He shook his shoulders, giving him a little bit of energy back to stay awake. As he shook his head up again, there was a weird sensation coming from Seokjin and as the younger man turned to face him, all he could see was a smile on the face of a man as beautiful as how he imagined all the princes in all those fairy tales.

The street light was placing the shadows just right to emphasize all the beauty that was this man and – Namjoon didn’t notice at the time, but his mouth was open wide, his jaw dropping in awe – when his simple smile turned into a muffled laughter, Seokjin turned his face back to the stars, the few that were visible that night – which also could have been airplanes, they still aren’t sure – in the sky, and the shadows switched places.

Namjoon was struck. What was going on? Why was Seokjin so nice – if not even more than nice – to him? His heart was beating faster than ten thousand steam rollers and his head was a steam pipe, hot and cloudy, leaving him no room to think straight with Seokjin around him. “You look tired.”, the blonde prince in the delicate street light uttered, getting up from the bench. “Let’s get you home.” His voice was as sweet as honey. All Namjoon wanted was to just lean on and walk home with him. Would that be too much? “Come on.”, Seokjin smiled and Namjoon got up, not letting go of the other’s hand.

Just like that, they walked across the bridge. Just like that, they walked down the sidewalks. Just like that, they went to the train station. The other people and streetlights became irrelevant to them, not that they ever actually worried about them in the first place. While people might talk behind their backs, they won’t hear it. The streetlights will place the shadows to keep the beauty hidden and shine on the flaws, but they won’t see it. All they saw were each other. Seokjin’s neat blonde hair that ended just above his romantic dark eyes that were shining behind his half moon shaped glasses. Namjoon's unruly dark hair and his dimples that framed his smile like the masterpiece it was.

Drunk on sleep, or rather the lack of it, Namjoon leaned onto Seokjin as if it was the most natural thing to do, as they stopped by a red light. “You’re not falling asleep, are you?”, the older one asked and Namjoon jolted his head away, looking straight ahead of him. “I'm just a little tired.”, he mumbled and Seokjin squeezed his hand. Namjoon was a little mystery to him. Seokjin did not know that Namjoon's tiredness came from a forceful awakening, of his trance after reading a book, so he could carry boxes of books across the library.

It was almost as if he had been awake for a whole week after being sucked into a book for merly a few hours before he continued doing what he got paid for. Their feet hurried across the street to finally get to the train station so that both of them could get home safely, even if it was a little late. When they walked up the stairs and were faced by the path which caused them to have this adventurous fall the last time, Seokjin couldn’t keep the smile on his face from growing. Not a single word was spoken as they calmly walked across the dry sidewalk, leaves bending under their shoes.

It was different, very different, from the last time they walked this road, the complete opposite even. As they got on the train, they sat down next to each other and Namjoon had troubles keeping his eyes open. His head fell onto Seokjin’s shoulder once or twice before bobbing back into place. He could hear the older man mumble sweet words, but he couldn’t make out what it was - Seokjin still refuses to tell him - but he knew that his voice was soft and soothing, almost like the voice of an experienced storyteller. Only that Seokjin wasn’t telling Namjoon any fairy tales - oh no, only the truth - and his aim wasn’t exactly to be heard.

~*~

They had many nights like this afterwards. One of them would walk to the other’s workplace and surprise them, walking home together in the night after eating together. It continued for another two weeks. The end of October was coming closer, when Namjoon almost choked on his kimchi that he was eating with Seokjin in a warm restaurant. “You want me to what?”, he asked again, gulping down his glass of water in one go. “I would like you to accompany me to a birthday party. Nothing big…”, Seokjin explained as if it was nothing, stuffing his food into his mouth. For him, it was a step he felt necessary to take, for Namjoon it was closer to the cause of a sudden sickness building up in his stomach.

“But… I don’t know that person. Or your other friends in general. Won’t it be weird if I-” - “If you don’t want to, you don’t have to. Don’t worry about the others.”, Seokjin said, cutting into Namjoon’s word. He did that quite often, Seokjin, cutting into Namjoon’s endless rambling to bring him back to reality, but only when he was about to get tangled into a web of confusing thoughts and small worries - small to him, but big to Namjoon - that he would worry about for a whole week. “I already told them I would bring a friend so they would be prepared.”, Seokjin added, waving his chopsticks around, giving off a careless vibe.

Suddenly, Namjoon wasn’t hungry anymore, yet there was a growl in his stomach. “Are you ok?”, Seokjin asked and lay down his cutlery, reaching for the other's hand. It made Namjoon's stomach growl again. “Did you eat something bad?”, the older man asked, eying Namjoon’s plate and Namjoon knew it wasn't the food. He was nervous of how Seokjin's friends would react to him. Not that there was a need to be nervous. They, Namjoon and Seokjin, were friends, right? It's not like they all expect anything, right?

“It’s nothing. Is it really ok that I come with you?”, the younger one asked and Seokjin smiled, realising that Namjoon was just nervous. His hand slipped off the other's and Namjoon curled his fingers. “They won’t bite, don’t worry.”, Seokjin assured him before giving him a wide smile, getting ready to continue eating. “Even if they were known for biting, I wouldn’t let them bite you.”, he added with a wink and Namjoon threw his head to the side with a grin. The younger one put his cutlery down and waited for Seokjin to finish eating.

It always amazed him how much the other could eat and how good he still looked - how fit and slim - even though he ate all the fried and greasy stuff. By the amount of food Seokjin was eating, Namjoon knew that he would not be the one that would pay. Seokjin never lets Namjoon pay when they - or rather he - eat so much. For him it seemed ok that he pays lots of money for food, but he wouldn’t want Namjoon to pay. “When’s the birthday?”, Namjoon asked, re arranging his plate in a manner to distract and calm himself, as Seokjin finally finished.

Before he answered his friend, he called for the waiter to tell him he wants to pay. Namjoon was about to say something but Seokjin cut him off: “It’s this weekend.” - “That’s… in two days.”, Namjoon replied and Seokjin smiled innocently, blurring out an ‘oh really?’ as if he didn’t knew. Namjoon sighed. It was a long sigh and there was no smile afterwards. No smile that would signalize the older one something like ‘you’re impossible’ in a friendly way or anything else that could have been replaced by friendly teasing.

“I’ll try to get a day off, but I can’t promise anything. Sorry.”, Namjoon said and Seokjin almost didn’t see the waiter coming. “You’re working? Since when? You never worked on weekends.”, the older man replied and his eyes darted back and forth between Namjoon and the waiter, then to the bill and back to Namjoon, but lastly, they rested on the bill as he paid. “Did something happen?”, he added and Namjoon just shrugged. The librarian had no idea how to reply. Saying that nothing happened wouldn’t only be a lie but also wouldn’t explain why he had to work.

Despite being the only one that applied to take over his boss’ position as soon as he retires, his boss wanted to see Namjoon’s capability. He wanted to see if he would actually work, instead of just reading all the time. The younger one had been working overtime for more than a week now, and he still had to work on the weekend. “I’ll tell you tomorrow.”, Namjoon replied and they got ready to leave.

Earlier, when he picked up Seokjin from the bistro, Namjoon was late because he had to work so much. Yet, he didn’t tell Seokjin about it. He made up a lie about getting lost and Seokjin smiled at him, taking his hand and calling him clumsy. What a mess. “I hope you’re not mad at me if-”, Namjoon started but Seokjin laughed, shaking his head. “Namjoon, I don’t think you can do anything to make me be angry or mad at you.”, the older one replied with a teasing smile, buttoning up his coat.

Seokjin grabbed his pastel pink umbrella on his way out and held the door open for Namjoon like the gentleman he was - and still is - in the younger one’s eyes. The first few drops settled down on Namjoon’s head and shoulders while Seokjin was rushing to his aid but alas, he couldn't open the umbrella. Namjoon frowned and reached his hand out for the umbrella. “It’s stuck.”, Seokjin whispered, shaking and pushing the pastel pink one in many directions before giving up and handing it to Namjoon. Hands blessed with disaster shook and pulled and twisted the umbrella in many different way, trying to loosen it up to get it to open and shelter them from the rain.

It took Namjoon a few moments to figure something out. It almost felt right until - crack - he held the handle of the umbrella in one hand, and the rest of the squashed umbrella in the other hand. Breathing suddenly felt like a foreign concept as he planned to take a deep breath, eyes staring in panic at the plastic and metal in his hands. Seokjin’s mouth stood wide open in shock, disbelief and surprise. The umbrella was broken. It was when Seokjin breathed out loudly that Namjoon realized he was holding his breath the whole time, mouth getting dry from the cold autumn air.

Seokjin’s previous words echoed through his head. Dear brain, this was not a challenge to prove him wrong, Namjoon thought, afraid to look up at the other man, whose trashed belongings were resting in his hands while the sky was crying down on them in the shine of the moonlight which was slightly dimmer than the street lights. Almost painful was the breath the younger one inhaled before taking the deepest bow he was able to do without getting on his knees. In his mind, he saw Seokjin’s disappointed face, a hint of anger in the shape of his mouth and dissatisfaction in his eyes.

“I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry. I’m very sorry, Seokjin. I didn’t know- I’m-” - “It’s just an umbrella.” Namjoon’s head jerked up. His upper body was pushed up softly by Seokjin who was wearing the most carefree and calm expression, yet still with the expected dissatisfaction in his eyes. “Don’t worry too much, Namjoon. I can just buy a new one. It just sucks that I can’t shield us from the rain now.”, Seokjin chuckled, taking the broken pieces of the umbrella and going inside, asking one of the workers if they would mind taking care of throwing away the broken umbrella. Namjoon was waiting in the cold october rain, drops of water coming down on him, feeling like they were piercing into his skin.

His initial reaction when Seokjin came out again was to grab his hand. Holding Seokjin’s hand soothed him and he hoped to show Seokjin how sorry he is. The older man smiled, squeezing the younger one’s hand before cupping it into both of his hands and pressing them against his heart, eyes shining while peering deep into Namjoon’s soul. “I told you not to worry, Namjoon. It is just an umbrella.”, Seokjin explained calmly, shooting Namjoon a wink that made his face burn up.

They both knew it was not just an umbrella, but the older one’s words were steady and spoken with so much certainty that they ended up believing it. - It is just an umbrella - But there was one error in that message. It was an umbrella. That fact occurred to them not long after. “Is the rain getting heavier?”, Seokjin asked, blinking rain drops out of his eyes as he looked up into the sky, his skin getting pecked by the little splashes of water that bounced off his glasses. “This is really unfortunate.”, Namjoon whispered and as they passed a well known corner, he remembered a scene from a romance novel.

He forgot where it lead to, he stopped reading shortly after. It was too cheesy, even for his taste. However, sometimes cheese is enough to spice up the mood. “Hang on a second.”, the younger mumbled, stopping Seokin in his tracks. Namjoon started to undo his scarf and open up his coat. Seokjin watched him with curious eyes. Confusion and curiosity were holding hands that day for Seokjin. The grey scarf that was resting on Namjoon’s shoulder before was soon unwrapped and lifted and as he placed it around Seokjin’s neck and the older one had trouble to not pull Namjoon in a hug this instant. Arms weirdly engaging in an act that ended with crossing his arms, Seokjin rose a brow.

“What are you doing? You’re going to get cold.”, he complained and Namjoon took off his coat, lifting it above their heads as best as he could. Being taller than Seokjin, even if it was only for a bit, made it slightly easier to rest his arm on the other ones broad shoulders, giving them a little shelter. “I’ll be ok. I’m tougher than I look, Seokjin.”, Namjoon chuckled, honestly convinced that the happiness he found when spending time with Jin would keep him healthy, almost as if he’s untouchable - which wasn’t the case - when they are together. Long arms stretched the coat above their heads and Seokjin just realised how toned the younger one’s arms were, sleeves of his black sweatshirt hanging down slightly.

Well he needs strength if he carries boxes full of books almost every day, Seokjin thought as he bit his lip, which stayed almost unnoticed. Swiftly, his arm wrapped around Namjoon’s waist, dragging him close and hugging him, hip to hip, like a handbag. “The closer we stay together, the less space we take up.”, the older one said and his voice was almost teasing. His hand reached up for where Namjoon was holding the edge of his coat above his head and as if they agreed on it, Namjoon’s arm slid down along Seokjin’s before resting lazily over the older one’s shoulder. What a blast.

The younger man couldn’t get rid of the grin on his face that let his dimples appear more prominent than ever. Their feet carried them a few steps before Seokjin dragged Namjoon back at his waist. “Your scarf…”, he started and he was about to reach out for it but Namjoon’s light pat in the chest and a slurred “Don’t mind it” let his hand stay where it was. It was as if they stopped caring about the rain when they continued walking through splashing puddles or when their shoes sunk into muddy ground. The wind was chill but Namjoon didn’t mind as long as he had Seokjin’s warmth beside him.

He would get him a new umbrella, Namjoon promised himself. First thing tomorrow, he thought and looked ahead of them to see how long this would last. How long they would stay - or rather walk - like this, wrapped around each other, on their way to their separate homes. When they arrived at the train station, it was always a little saddening for Namjoon, knowing that they will share an awkward 6 minute train ride before the first one has to get off to go home alone and continue with his life without the other - They are glad those times are over now - before living another day, eager to see each other again.

The rain was playing a damp melody as it pattered on the cloth above their heads. It was different to the sound it made when it hit the pastel pink umbrella. A shiver ran down Namjoon’s spine and he couldn’t tell if it was from the cold or the guilt. Either way, he thought he deserved it. The train wouldn’t take too long, they knew. I want to stay like this for a little longer though, they both thought. Seokjin’s hand which was ever so slightly stroking Namjoon’s hips, fingers curling almost enough to squeeze them. His head needlessly fitting into the space that was left on Namjoon’s shoulder along the arm that was wrapped around the older one’s wide shoulder.

The ruthless rain cut through every breath that left their lips while the lights at the train station threw large shadows far behind them where they wouldn’t care to look back to. It was just a moment later that the train howled on the old rails in the distance, telling everyone to be aware of his presence. Seokjin, who was still leaning his head on Namjoon’s shoulder, let out an annoyed sigh. The blinding headlights of the train let their shadow dance in a circle around them, throwing it further away and letting it build up ten times the size of them cuddling under the coat.

As the train came to a shrieking halt, blessing their ears with the sound of what Namjoon imagined a banshee to sound like, Seokjin’s hand fell. He was no longer holding Namjoon’s waist close. Lonely fingers made their way into the pocket of his pants as the other one held onto the coat to lead them into the inside of the train. The inside was surprisingly dry.

Not many people got on or off the train at those hours, so it was only reasonable that it was dry. They sat down and without any more words, Namjoon hurrying to put on his coat again. They spend their 6 minutes of riding the train together in total silence. Namjoon lost in his own thoughts and Seokjin lost in the other one’s face that was reflected by the window across them.

~*~

Namjoon remembered the talk with his boss as if it was just the day before. In fact, it was just the day before. The headache that was evenly pulsing in his temple was giving him a hard time. “Sir, could I take the day off tomorrow.”, he had asked as he entered the office that hopefully would soon belong to him. “A whole day off?”, his boss asked in a concerned voice. It was not intended to be concerned. The old man wanted to mock him, but something in the young man’s voice hindered him. “If you can not spare me the whole day, maybe just a few hours. Two should be enough, Sir.”, Namjoon had suggested, even though two hours wouldn’t be enough. The old man twirled around in his chair, making loud, almost ridiculously long stretched ‘hmmm’ sounds as he thought about it.

Namjoon wasn’t feeling well back then, but it wasn’t as bad as this day. The day of the birthday party. He already told Seokjin he would come with him because his boss was gracious enough to let him off three and a half hours earlier. The young librarian was sorting books into shelves, putting on new labels because the old ones already turned yellow or fell off, before he was granted the time he needed to get home. “I expect you well rested on monday then.”, his boss had said after Namjoon left his office and what else could he do but say “Yes, of course.” and bow his head.

The noise in the streets seemed louder than usual. Girls laughing and mothers’ yelling rung in his ears like a tune that was recorded much too close and way too loud in front of a microphone. He just wanted to get home and take a nap before getting ready. Just a short nap. That would be all he needed, he thought. His nose was running a lot that day, almost as if it couldn’t wait to arrive at home. It was the day on which he found out he might not be as untouchable as he thought he was.

He remembered the night he shielded Seokjin and himself from the rain, thinking back and cursing at the man in the novel that did the same, hence giving him this dumb idea. He was sure the man in the novel did not end up getting sick. The author wouldn’t let this happen to his characters, would he? Otherwise, he would be a really cruel author to make his characters sick by something done out of love. “Give me a break.”, he whispered to himself, heavy feet carrying his limp body up the stairs to the train station.

It was almost a miracle how good his timing brought him home. As the door flew open and he tumbled in, the sight of his book shelf and which book to read next were completely ignored. His heavy coat, which carried several keys and his wallet, fell down next to the door as he still did not repair the jacket holder that broke off a few days - maybe even weeks - ago. Almost stumbling over his own two feet as he forcefully tried to slip out of his shoes. The bedroom - if you could call it that - wasn’t far from the entrance and he almost immediately fell asleep as he threw himself - face first - onto his bed. He could feel his body relax the moment his brain realised that he was in his safe space.

Suddenly, his phone started violently vibrating and shaking him out of his relaxed 5 seconds and fueled his headache again. As quickly as it happened, it was gone already. Fishing his phone out of his pocket, groaning into his blanket a couple of times, he was forced to sit up on his bed, pushing himself up with arms that were too tired already. It was a message from Hoseok, along with a message from Seokjin. Resisting the fuzzy feeling in his stomach, he opened his co-worker’s message first. The sole purpose of Hoseok’s message was to tell him that he forgot his umbrella at the library. Namjoon sighed loudly.

The umbrella. The one he bought for Seokjin to make up for the broken pink one. It might not be as pretty or colourful - it was plain grey - but Namjoon wanted to get him a new one. He didn’t reply to Hoseok and just checked what Seokjin wanted to tell him.

Change of plans, I’ll meet you on the train. I can not pick you up at your station. Thank you for coming with me! ♥, the message read and Namjoon’s heart fluttered every time Seokjin send hearts attached to his message. He liked to think it was because of him and not just because it’s the way Seokjin writes. He liked to think that he was special to Seokjin and that’s why he send him hearts. - Boy, was he right - Namjoon replied with a short sentence. It didn’t feel right so he hung another one behind it.

Alright. Thank you for inviting me! That was about it. A few moments later, Namjoon found himself drifting off into something similar to sleep, but without a dream. He wasn’t even sure if he really slept or if he just can’t remember being awake. Either way, he felt a little better than before. He spend about two hours asleep before he considered himself able to get ready. The march towards the bathroom felt longer than it actually was.

Namjoon thought it would be appropriate to spend some time brushing up and lookin good - to impress Seokjin - so the people won’t think about him as someone who doesn’t take care of himself. The tiles were cold and somehow Najoon felt sensitive towards it. Yet he only wondered why the colour drained from his face as he looked into the mirror. He felt better. He felt good. That’s what he told himself, refusing to accept the fact that he indeed got sick.

He put on a light coat, paying more attention to his looks than his health, and went outside once he was ready. The wind was cold and felt almost like an attacker was hitting against his head. The way to the train station wasn’t long, 5 minutes maybe. However, that day, Namjoon needed 7 minutes to get there, being just in time for the train to arrive. He let himself fall down onto the first empty seat he spotted and a few moments later, his phone rang. “Yes?”, he asked and his voice sounded rough, despite not having talked for half the day.

“Namjoon?”, it was Seokjin, “Are you on the train? I haven’t seen you yet so I was- Wait!” Namjoon frowned and moved the phone so he could see the screen. Seokjin hung up, much to Namjoon’s surprise. He looked to his left and saw nothing but strangers, he looked to his right and saw - guess what - more strangers. Did he take the wrong train? That’s not even possible. He rubbed the bridge of his nose before someone started to talk. “Excuse me, handsome? Looking for some company?”, a voice asked and Namjoon’s head rose slowly, confusion printed on his face.

The person was wearing a coat in the colour of cardboard boxes, that fell down in a straight line, a grey scarf and half moon shaped glasses- “Seokjin.”, Namjoon blurred out and the other started to grin before sitting down next to him. “I saw you shortly after I called you.”, the older one explained and Namjoon nodded. He felt a certain way but he couldn’t tell what the cause if it was. It was a mix of feelings. The younger one didn’t even notice that Seokjin was holding his hand, hiding it as good as he could from the public.

“When do we have to get off again?”, Namjoon asked, voice husky and deep. “Just two stations from here. Are you ok?”, the older one replied, finishing off with an unexpected question, that wasn’t that unexpected after all. Namjoon chuckled, shaking his head slightly. “No, don’t worry. I’m ok.”, he said leaning comfortably in his seat. “I just got a dry throat, that’s all.” Of course that was a lie. It was more than a dry throat, but Namjoon wanted to enjoy this party with Seokjin and his friends. Just one day, he thought, one day to spend with him.

They arrived at the party a little later than planned, but the host did not mind. “You must be Namjoon.”, the host said after greeting both of them. The younger one nodded. “I’m Park Seungjun.” As the host introduced himself, Namjoon realised that Seokjin never mentioned any of his friend’s names. The only name known to Namjoon was Ms. Choi, Seokjin’s boss. “There are drinks in the kitchen and some snacks pretty much everywhere. Also, if you haven’t eaten yet you can help yourself, we arranged a little buffet.”, Seungjun explained and Namjoon listened eagerly while following him inside.

“Amazing, I’m starving.”, Seokjin chuckled and Seungjun lead them to the kitchen before joining the others. They stuffed some plastic plates with food and Namjoon was amazed by the amount of effort that was put into this party. “Did he arrange it himself?”, he asked Seokjin who shook his head in response. “His roommate and friends arranged it. It’s more or less a surprise party.”, the older one explained and they sat down somewhere to eat in peace.

Shortly after, they joined the others in a room that was poorly lit by neon lights in pink and blue with music so loud it went through Namjoon’s whole body. And that was when his headache came back. Everyone was having fun and drank and Namjoon felt like he was observing a scene from a teen novel where something dramatic would happen that would lead the protagonist to lots of problems. “Here.”, Seokjin said behind him, reaching him a cup of clear liquid. The younger one didn’t even notice that Seokjin went to get something to drink. This would be the part where the protagonist does a dumb decision, Namjoon thought taking the cup with a smile, thanking Seokjin. I don’t have to drink it right away, he thought, still smiling weakly at his friend.

A few minutes passed, different songs played, everyone was having fun and Namjoon felt like his head was about to explode. Without a second thought, he brought the cup to his lips and let the fluid wet his throat. When he tasted the drink, he was surprised, yet he drank all of it. It was just water. “You look surprised.”, Seokjin chuckled and Namjoon couldn’t find the right words. How should he explain that he thought his cup was filled with vodka or soju instead of water. That he thought Seokjin would probably try to make him drunk.

Namjoon shrugged. A smirk formed on Seokjin’s face as he lay one hand on the other one’s shoulder, slowly gliding it closer towards the other’s neck. Suddenly, his smirk turned into a frown and his hands shot up to cup the other’s face, touching his cheek and forehead. Namjoon was not prepared for this, he just stood there in shock. “Namjoon.”, Seokjin whispered and the other nodded slightly, “You’re having a fever. I’m taking you home.”

Laughter was echoing through the room and Seungjun and a friend approached them, joking about how Seokjin was about to infiltrate Namjoon’s mouth with his tongue. The younger one was blushing heavily, covering up the embarrassment with his fever as Seokjin turned around calmly, telling his friend that Namjoon wasn’t feeling well so they had to leave again. “I left your present on the table, it’s the one with the candy cane wrapping paper.”, he explained, taking Namjoon by his arm and leading him to the entrance. “We really don’t have to leave.”, Namjoon whined but Seokjin already helped him into his coat.

“I won’t risk your health for my fun. I won’t risk your health for anything, for that matter.”, Seokjin said, almost scolding him for not telling him that he’s not feeling well. The older one grabbed his scarf - the grey scarf - and instead of putting it around himself, he pulled Namjoon, who was about to open the door for them, close and wrapped the grey woolen mess around his friend. “You don’t have to-”, Namjoon started but Seokjin cut him off with a genuine “I know, but I want to.” without the actual context of Namjoon’s sentence.

To Seokjin, it didn’t matter if Namjoon wanted to tell him not to leave the party or not to give him his scarf. They were walking towards the train station, Seokjin holding Namjoon who was leaning onto him, and the fresh air made Namjoon feel a little better. The street lights were blinding and fueled Namjoon’s headache. He was glad that they left the party but he felt guilty for denying Seokjin the fun he would have had without him at the party. “I should have stayed home.”, he whispered as they got into the train. Seokjin didn’t reply to this, he was just helping Namjoon to sit down.

“I’m sorry you have to bring me home…”, he added and Seokjin kneeled in front of him, checking his temperature again. “Don’t be. I don’t have to bring you home. I do this because I want to. If you haven’t noticed, I care for you.”, Seokjin explained, his voice as calm as a summer breeze that brushed through the trees. God, how much he liked to kiss Seokjin just now. If only he could. “Thank you.”, Namjoon mumbled, resting his head in the older one’s hands. Those words made Seokjin smile so sincere it almost seemed like he was in love. Maybe it’s the fever, Namjoon thought, yes, it must be. It’s the fever. Poor guy didn’t see it clearly enough.

The thought of Seokjin being in love with him seemed much nicer than the reality. The reality in which Namjoon was too shy to actually accept what was happening right in front of him. Another few minutes of silence before they got off the train. Seokjin was leading the way and after what seemed to be 15, maybe 17 steps down a road, Namjoon started to notice his surroundings. He never told Jin where he lived, so where were they going? After a few minutes of Seokjin talking to Namjoon about how he will prepare a hot bath for him and some tea, Namjoon realized that they were not going to his place. They were heading to Seokjin’s place.

The door opened without a sound and Namjoon was carrying his heavy feet over the threshold, leaning against the wall as he removed his shoes. Seokjin’s apartment was bigger than he expected it to be. He had a spacious kitchen that connected to a dining area. The living room was separated by a low wall and it was neatly decorated with a personal charm. There was a door with cherry blossoms drawn onto it, surrounding the word bathroom which was written in the prettiest font Namjoon has ever seen. Who knew a the word for bathroom could look so pretty?

Namjoon’s legs seemed to give in the second he got to the sofa, falling almost numbly on it. From that point on, he was part of a moment that he could not, for the love of god, ever dare to erase from his memory, no matter how dizzy his mind seemed, no matter how blurry the fever was making him see, he remembers this moment. He got the promised bath and a tea was waiting for him as he stepped out of the bathroom, wearing some of Seokjin’s clothes that only fit him because the older one bought the wrong size online. But even for Namjoon they were kinda loose.

He felt so much better after the bath as he sat down next to Seokjin, closing his eyes and leaning onto the other one’s shoulder. It was a peaceful sight. Seokjin grabbed a blanket to cover them up, enjoying Namjoon’s presence at his side. It happened that, as if they already were a couple for so long, Namjoon slid his arm behind Seokjin to grab his waist and hold him while Seokjin let his hand wander through the younger one’s freshly washed wet hair. They could stay like this forever. If time wouldn’t run against the. If eating and drinking were irrelevant to living. If sleep wouldn’t be needed… they could have sat like this for all eternity. But Namjoon felt like it wasn’t meant to be. It was too good to be true.

He read so many romance novels, he fell in love with every little thing Seokjin did for him. Things that people do out of kindness. Namjoon was so in love with the other that he feared this could be one sided. - Love makes you blind, even towards the obvious signs - The younger one leaned forward to grab his tea, making Seokjin shift in his seat. When he leaned back he let out a soft groan, feeling like his body was hurting all over. The moment was so nice just a few second ago.

He rubbed his face and Seokjin reached him a small towel, soaked in cold water. The towel made contact with his face and Namjoon felt better almost immediately, letting out a pleased sigh and leaning his head back. “You know.”, Seokjin started, eyes fixed on Namjoon, “I told you so.” - “What?”, Namjoon asked, gaze shifting towards the older man. “I told you that you would get sick.”, Seokjin said with a proud grin and Namjoon just let out a loud breath, a sigh that had nothing else to say. “You should get some rest.”, he added and stood up so that Namjoon could have the sofa for himself.

Of course, the younger one did not want this. Sure, he liked the idea of Seokjin taking care of him, he almost romanticized it, but he also felt like he would just bother him. He too rose from the sofa, ready to protest but Seokjin did not let him. He couldn’t even speak his first word before the older one pressed his fingers against Namjoon’s chest. A touch so featherlight it was almost unnoticeable, so soft and gentle it was ridiculous how easy he could push Namjoon back down into his seat. “Get some rest, Joonie~”, those words and Seokjin’s touch made Namjoon’s heart beat faster, “Don’t worry about your work, I already called your boss and told him you’re sick. I also took a day off tomorrow so I wouldn’t have to leave you alone tomorrow morning.”

It was as if Jin cast a spell on him. Namjoon nodded, eyes gazing up at the older one as his face got cupped into those magical hands of Seokjin. It was like his heart was about to jump out of his chest. The younger one didn’t know what Seokjin was about to do, why he would cup his face like this. Seokjin just smiled softly and Namjoon almost reached out for Seokjin’s hands to pull them back again as the gentle touch left his face. “Good night.” - “Good night.”

The next morning was almost like a fairytale. Namjoon woke up to the smell of some fresh seaweed soup. The sun was sheepishly peeking below the bottom of the curtains that were dancing in the wind. The clock was ticking rhythmically while the radio quietly praised the newest hits. Everything felt so relaxed and calm, little to no sound coming from buzzing electronics, and the smell of Seokjin’s cooking planted a seed in Namjoon’s heart - or rather let it sprout.

The thought of wanting to wake up like this every morning. The peaceful quiet with a soft humming in the background paired with the smell of home cooked food. His heart was beating so fast it almost hurt. It hurt him to be in love with Seokjin, unknowing if this was the sickness playing mind games with him or if it was the missing assurance. The missing assurance if Seokjin liked - no - if Seokjin loved him back. Within the heavenly atmosphere, Namjoon forced his body to function, forced it to continue working past the limit of opening his eyes. To get up and stretch, to wake up properly. “Ah, you’re up.”, Seokjin said from the kitchen as he heard noises from the living area.

The brightness of the sun was blinding Namjoon as he turned to face the older one. “Breakfast is almost ready.”, he added as Namjoon trotted over, feeling like he is the only heavy thing in this light world. “Am I dead?”, the younger asked as he got closer to the kitchen and Seokjin started to laugh. “What? Why would you say something like that?”, he chuckled and Namjoon took a deep breath to let the aroma of the soup fill his body. “This feels so unreal.”, he mumbled as he rubbed his eyes.

Seokjin couldn’t help but stare and Namjoon couldn’t help but notice. He turned away, pretending to take a look around. “You can take a shower if you want to. The food will be ready by then. Your temperature lowered at some point but the fever still wore you out. A shower might refresh you.”, Seokjin suggested and pointed towards the bathroom, in case Namjoon forgot. The younger one nodded, smiling at Seokjin before hurrying into the bathroom. As he entered the bathroom he noticed that Seokjin already prepared some clothes for him again. He was really something.

How he took care of Namjoon. How he spend time with him. How he made him laugh and smile. How he made Namjoon think that romance does exists in the real world. That love isn’t something reserved for people in fiction. His eyes wandered towards the mirror, taking in how messy he looked. God, he looked terrible. I must have looked even worse yesterday, Namjoon thought before undressing to step into the shower. While he showered, he imagined how it would be to shower together with Seokjin. The innocent thought of taking a shower with the other one, turned into unspeakable thoughts of wanting to feel Seokjin’s touch against his skin.

When he finished the shower and got back all dressed, the food was ready and arranged on the table, just like Seokjin promised. It was incredible how smooth everything went. Of course they ate together a lot, and the only thing that was different was the time. Yet, Namjoon felt like it shouldn’t be going this smooth. Like there should be something that made this weird. Just something that made both of them feel weird. There was nothing like that. They felt too comfortable around each other as to ever consider anything weird ever again. He sat down on the opposite side of Seokjin, still a little irritated. “I hope you like seaweed soup.”, Seokjin said as he showed Namjoon all the things he cooked.

It was all a dream, Namjoon thought. This is an image made up by his ill mind. It must be the fever, he thought, despite feeling as alive and awake as always - if not more than ever - especially after the shower. “Yeah. I love seaweed soup.”, he replied and with smiles on their faces, they started to eat. There was something different about Seokjin but Namjoon couldn't tell. They ate in a peaceful silence, letting the radio sing and talk to them while Namjoon was trying to figure out what it was with Seokjin. He looked so handsome, so beautiful and overall too good to be true, even when he was just eating casually in his own home. Meanwhile, Seokjin was thinking about how they spend the last night together.

How they cuddled on the couch as if nothing else mattered. How he called Namjoon’s boss, telling him that he had a fever and how his boss told him to take care of Namjoon because he is his most precious worker. How Seokjin called Ms. Choi and told her that he won’t be able to show up the next day because he could not leave Namjoon alone. How he prepared tea and clothes for Namjoon. How he checked his temperature and placed a cold towel on his forehead while the younger one was asleep. How he checked on him multiple times after Namjoon fell asleep. How the younger one almost burned under his touch. Seokjin felt like he was melting. He wished to take care of Namjoon every day.

It was after their breakfast that Namjoon felt lost, not knowing what to do. He felt good enough to go home, yet he wanted to stay with the other. He was helping to clean up but after that, he just stood there, playing with the holes of the sweater that Seokjin gave him. “What’s wrong?”, the older man asked as he approached his damsel in distress, joyfully taking his hands. “Nothing I just… I just don’t know what to do.”, Namjoon mumbled and Seokjin nodded his head.

A smile played with Seokjin’s lips and Namjoon wished it would be placed on his, but his wish was not granted. “We could just spend the rest of the day together, until you feel good enough to go home.”, Seokjin suggested, softly swinging their hands from left to right. “And even if you already feel good enough, you’re still free to stay.”, he added and Namjoon smiled, nodding his head in agreement before they spend the rest of the day together, watching movies and laughing together. The guilt of robbing Seokjin of his friend’s birthday party was long gone and only a faint memory of Namjoon.

~*~

The bistro was stuffed with people, both guests and workers. It was a rough day since a lot of people came to watch some sports game. Seokjin had not time to pay attention to the happenings on the lcd screen as he was busy to take orders and deliver food to several tables while his co-workers all struggled with the same task. Another cola here, some sparkling water over there, a steak on table number 17, and by any chance a tip by the nice old ladies that were treated to dinner by their husbands.

“You’re doing well.”, Ms. Choi remarked as she caught Seokjin washing his hands while waiting for the kitchen to finish his order. “Thank you. I can’t let you down, can I?”, he chuckled and Ms. Choi would have stayed longer if the house wouldn’t have been so full. It’s been a few days - a week and two days - since he took care of Namjoon. The younger one was feeling better already and he kept praising Seokjin for his cooking skills. Seokjin promised Namjoon to cook for him again in the future. They were both looking forward to it.

October barely left, leaving behind rainy days and cold winds, but November was already armed to the teeth with storms and dark nights. The orders went out and with time passing, so did the guests. The game was over and the local team won, ironically earning Seokjin and his fellow workers ridiculous amounts of tips. People don’t usually tip at all. It’s just not common. “It’s barely even noon.”, Ms. Choi said, checking her watch. “It was an early game today.”, Seokjin commented and the older woman just shrugged.

There were a few guests still coming in afterwards, being glad that the atmosphere of the game has long settled somewhere else. The bar closed shortly afterwards because no one would be interested in drinks this early. The kitchen was slowing down and the workers were free to take a break while business was mild. Ms. Choi kept encouraging Seokjin and asked him about Namjoon. It was at this day that he was actually shy to talk about Namjoon. Within the last days, his feelings for Namjoon only grew and it was hard to hold back.

“When will the day come where I don’t have to hold back?”, he whispered, more to himself than to his boss, and she patted his shoulder. “When you both are ready. Just get the right timing.”, she uttered, looking up at him. “You’re a good man, and this Namjoon seems to be a good man too. You deserve each other.” You deserve each other, those words made Seokjin’s inside feel warm and longing for Namjoon even more. “I hope I will ask him before December.”, he uttered, watching the guests that silently ate in the bistro. His boss chuckled. “So you will get a huge birthday present, huh?” - “Eh, won’t hurt.”, Seokjin joked, playfully shrugging to lift the corners of their mouths into a smile.

After business started to slow down, it felt like time was crawling. The sudden calm after the storm, after this haste, made all of the workers clueless. Ms. Choi send some of them home, one of them being Seokjin. “You don’t have to send me home. I can still do some work.”, He complained but he was no match to his boss. She told him that he would just be in the way, since Haru and Minseok still had to get the hours back that they lost for leaving earlier last week. Defeated, he went to change, grabbing his grey umbrella that Namjoon got him, before leaving his workplace. As he looked at the murky sky, he thought about what Namjoon was doing right now. On his day off.

A miracle that he would even get a day off. He has just been sick, yet his boss was as joyful as ever, even more so when he announced that Namjoon would take the office of running the library. His boss was more grateful than he originally showed. Despite it not being the case, the old man felt like he was responsible for Namjoon getting sick. He decided to give Namjoon another two days off while he took care of the paperwork so Namjoon just had to sign in the next day when he came to work. Two days of not going to eat with Seokjin after work. But other than that, everything was going well for Namjoon.

Both rain and sun were far away that day. The sky was tinted in an ugly grey tone that did not allow any play of colours. The clouds were dull and flat, no sun was there to give them a little more dimension. The clouds were flying far above Namjoon’s head as he made his way to the second hand book store that he loved so dearly. The door was wide open, despite the cold that crept into people’s jackets.

“Good day, my dear. I was hoping to see you soon.”, the old lady greeted him as his feet carried him inside. The second he stepped in, he felt the comfort he felt at home. The smile in his face was wide and cheerful. The smile on the lady’s face was small but affectionate. “Good day. I have great news!”, Namjoon announced and the lady’s smile grew wider on her thin lips.

He did not need to look around the store. The books he wanted were always at the counter. The old lady would always pick out some book he might like so he could come and chose. Sometimes he looked around afterwards, but he never found anything better than what the store owner suggested to him.

“Really? Is it about the young man you are seeing?”, she asked and Namjoon shook his head. It was at this moment that he realised that he didn’t even tell her about his job offer. All he talked about was Seokjin. “Sadly, no.”, he chuckled as he stepped closer to see what the lady chose for him. “It’s about my job. I got a promotion.”, Namjoon announced and the lady was clapping her hands before taking one of Namjoon’s huge hands into both her petite hands. She squeezed his hand tightly and spoke: “Really? That’s amazing! I knew you would be treated better one day. You really deserve this. Now tell me, what is it that you do now?”

“I’m... the boss of the library now.”, Namjoon replied, stumbling over his words as he was still trying to comprehend the importance of his new position. His words almost took the old lady’s breath away. “Oh my! Really? This is even better than I though.”, she cheered, small hands still wrapped around Namjoon’s. Namjoon smiled quickly before his eyes fell onto the books laid out for him. Three books. They all were all pretty interesting books. Dark covers and leather backs with golden fonts, all three of them. Something more historical, it seemed, as he flipped through the first few pages of each of them with his free hand.

The old lady let go of Namjoon’s hand and started to pack all three of the books. Namjoon frowned, asking what this was about. “Because it’s a special occasion.”, the lady replied. “I’ll let you keep all three. It’s on me.” Namjoon’s eyes went wide as she pressed the books towards him. “I can’t accept it.”, Namjoon protested but the store owner insisted he keeps them.

“You’ve done more than enough for my little shop. Now you have your own library to look after. If you don’t want to accept my gift, I will donate the books to your library. Either way, it’s on me.”, she said, the smile on her face ever so present and motherly that Namjoon did not dare to say ‘no’ another time. Reluctantly, he took the bag and bowed to the old lady, thanking her and wishing her a good day. He promised to come again soon, but reality was looking different for him since the next day.

Once he got out of the shop, he took a picture of the books in the plastic bag to send it to Seokjin. Despite feeling bad for not paying for them, he was thrilled to have three new books and wanted to share his haul with Seokjin. Much to his surprise, Seokjin immediately replied to his message.

Amazing, how much did those cost? They look expensive! They probably were, but Namjoon did not know. He would check the web once he’s home. They were a gift. Namjoon replied. Seconds later: Don’t you have to work, Seokjin? - Don’t worry Joonie~ ♥ My boss let me go early because there was nothing else to do at work. Do you want to meet?

The question let his heart skip a beat. Yes, of course he wanted to meet. But he also wanted to read the books. His fingers were already itching to stroke the pages one by one while the words would build up sceneries in his head. He took a second to stop and look at the books which were waving with the plastic bag. Was he really considering to spend another day in fiction when he could spend a day with Seokjin in the real world? Wasn’t the real world good enough to set aside the books for a while?

His gaze wandered back to his phone, knowing Seokjin was waiting for a response. Yes, I’d love to. The words popped up on the screen and his message was delivered to the older one. A few minutes later, Seokjin asked him if Namjoon had been to the Aquarium in Seoul yet, and a few hours later, they met up to go there. “I can’t believe you’ve never been to the Aquarium.”, Seokjin repeated for what seemed to be the third time that day. “I can’t believe you are still saying this.”, Namjoon joked and they followed masses of people.

The train was packed and many people planned to visit the Aquarium, just like Seokjin and Namjoon. They reached the ticket booth and waited in line to get inside. Amongst all those people, young and old, the couple stuck out like a sore thumb. Two handsome, tall men amongst old grannies and family fathers. Within the moving masses, Namjoon almost did not notice Seokjin pulling at the hem of his sleeve. Long fingers luring out the younger one’s from the protecting warmth of the cotton sweater.

Seokjin’s fingers were warm, as usual, but not sweaty. Their hands didn’t entwine like they did before. The backs of their hands stroked against each other, fingers softly brushing against each other, fingertips slightly curling in an attempt to wrap around the other’s. Such a soft and delicate touch that made Namjoon’s heart flutter and Seokjin’s cheeks burn.

The inside of the Aquarium was huge. Filled with people, and even more - who would have guessed - fish in water tanks. The colours and climate inside the house were almost weird compared to the cold autumn breath outside. Namjoon was studying the posters and plates while Seokjin was paying more attention to the fish itself. Despite having been there before, Seokjin liked the Aquarium and it always amazed him.

“Are you just going to read the plates or will you look at the fish too, Joonie?”, Seokjin teased and for some reason, those words made Namjoon uncomfortable. They almost hurt. The younger one did not reply. His gaze rose to look at the fishtank, lips stretching into a soft smile for a few seconds. “That’s what we’re here for, right?”, Seokjin added, patting Namjoon’s shoulder, receiving a nod in reply.

If Namjoon was honest, which he wasn’t in that moment, he didn’t care about the fish at all. He wasn’t there for the fish. He wanted to spend time with Seokjin, not with some stinky fish in a way too small tank. The further they advanced, the bigger the tanks got, but that didn’t mean Namjoon liked the fish any more. He did not feel complete by just looking at the fish and sea creatures. He caught himself skimming through the info of each tank again, making Seokjin chuckle every time he did.

“I think you will like what comes next.”, Seokjin smiled, leading Namjoon through the masses of people around them. Usually, Namjoon would feel confusion rather than anything else, but those times have long passed where confusion was replaced with excitement. His gaze was fixed on Seokjin, not wanting to lose him among all the people. It was when the older one stopped walking, standing in some kind of large door frame. The walls were sparkling, and so was the ceiling.

Despite the Aquarium being full with people, this part was rather empty of visitors. It took Namjoon a whole minute to find what Seokjin wanted to show him. “Amazing, isn’t it?”, the older one said and Namjoon’s jaw dropped as he saw the glass floor that revealed the fish tank underneath. “You can see right into the tank.”, Namjoon mumbled impressed. He didn’t even know why he was this impressed. It must be the change of perspective, he thought. “The glass won’t break, right?”, he added and Seokjin laughed, leaving his question unanswered.

Carefully, Namjoon took a step forward. The fish underneath didn’t even notice. The light got reflected by the surface of the water, breaking through the glass floor and sparkling against everything above. It was a sight that almost hypnotized Namjoon. The corners of his mouth twitched into a smile, making the lights dance over his dimples. As he looked up again, to face his friend, he was met by a look in Seokjin’s eyes that made his heart skip a beat. A look so tender and pure, so full of love, one could think the older one didn’t take his eyes off of Namjoon for even a single second.

Namjoon’s heart was beating fast, so fast he was afraid it would jump out of his chest. Even faster, when Seokjin got closer, wrapping an arm around Namjoon’s waist to pull him to his side and stroll over the glass floor. Once they passed through that area, they decided to take a little break. Namjoon left Seokjin’s side as he hurried into the restroom to calm down. He was faced by a wide mirror and as he saw his burning red face in the reflection, he got even more embarrassed.

The water was cold and that was what he needed. Cold, but not painfully biting like the cold wind outside. He patted his face with wet hands as he tried to shoo the blood rush away. His heart was still beating fast. His head was filled with questions. Questions like: Did Seokjin notice the I blushed? Did he mind? What does he think about me? Namjoon groaned, eyes shut tightly, as he rubbed his face. What would he give for the ability to know what other people are thinking? Why was it so hard to ask a person what they feel?

No- he couldn’t just ask him. What if he doesn’t like me that way? I can’t ask such a question. That would ruin our friendship, Namjoon thought. Open eyes glance at the reflection in the mirror. The blush was gone and Namjoon took another deep breath before going out to spend the rest of his time with Seokjin. He was prepared to see Seokjin. What he was not prepared for was seeing Seokjin talking to a rather pretty girl. His heart was stuck in his throat as he started approaching his friend and the stranger. “You work in a bistro? Wow! Maybe I should visit… when’s your next shift?”, she suggested and Seokjin laughed. He was rubbing his hands behind his back, a sign that the older one was nervous. It made Namjoon nervous.

Just a few steps separated him from his friend. The younger one swallowed hard and took the steps, little by little, bumping into a young man on his way. His rather loud apology got Seokjin’s attention. His head turned and his eyes smiled as he saw him approach. “Ah, Namjoon. Good that you’re here.”, Seokjin said, his arm stretching out to grasp for the younger one, pulling him close to him and the stranger. Namjoon felt weird and sad about seeing Seokjin with this girl. Almost heartbroken. Not even Seokjin’s hand that was resting on Namjoon’s back could cure this pain.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to interrupt your conversation. You seemed very-” - “Oh, don’t worry.”, Seokjin cut him off and looked at his watch. “Oh!”, the shock in Jin’s voice convinced everyone, “look at the time. I’m sorry, uh, Soohyun?” - “Soyoung.” - “Right, Soyoung. I’m sorry but we have to hurry. Make sure to check out the bistro. You coming, Joonie?”, Seokjin said, almost too hastily, before the two men left the girl behind.

Despite his words being rushed, his steps were calm. It seemed contradictory. Namjoon frowned, especially as he saw Seokjin’s smiling face that was calmly looking at the fish in a tank near the exit. “Nice acting.”, Namjoon laughed, as he finally understood what Seokjin did. The older one couldn’t help but chuckle. “Acting? What do you mean?”, he asked innocently and Namjoon shook his head. “Nothing.”, he replied, still smiling before they ended their Aquarium date.

“So?”, Seokjin asked as the two of them sat down next to each other while the train departed. “So, what?”, Namjoon asked and Seokjin laughed. “So what did you think about the Aquarium? Did you have fun?”, the older one added and Namjoon smiled. How much did he wish to be honest. How much did he wish to just say how uncomfortable he actually felt.

“Yes. I really liked the part with the glass floor.”, Namjoon said after a while of thinking. Sure, it felt weird at first and Namjoon would prefer not to visit the Aquarium again, but he didn’t want to tell Seokjin. “And?”, Seokjin asked, raising a brow. Namjoon didn’t know what to say. The fabric of his coat rustled as he shrugged and Seokjin smirked. “You’re thinking.” Namjoon nodded.

“Was it that bad?” Namjoon gulped at Seokjin’s question. How could Seokjin read him so well? How could he know what he was thinking? Just moments before, Namjoon wished to read Seokjin’s mind, why would he be cursed with the other way around? “It wasn’t bad… just… I- I wasn’t as interested from the start.”, Namjoon confessed and started fiddling with his hands.

It was a moment where Namjoon wished for Seokjin to hold his hand, but something was different that day. Seokjin patted Namjoon’s thigh, uttering a soft “That’s ok.” before drawing his hand back to burry it in his pockets where they stayed for the rest of the ride. The atmosphere was heavy and pressed onto Namjoon’s shoulders, letting them sag down. Yet, Seokjin was sitting upright like nothing could reach him. Namjoon was wondering what the older one was thinking about - he still does.

~*~

It was in the middle of November. Namjoon did well as the new owner and boss of the library. All his co workers cheered for him and threw a big party. As expected, Namjoon’s first order as the new boss was to re arrange the bookshelves. From that point on, the old books wouldn’t be pushed into old shelves, way in the back of the library. He made sure that books of all ages would be presented equally, which lead to people picking up old books more often.

“See, I told you the library would run great with you as the boss.”, Hoseok said, looking at his friend - who now was his boss - while standing in the door frame to his office. A smile crept on Namjoon’s face as he looked up from his paper work. Somehow Hoseok was right when he said Namjoon could read all day long once he was the boss. None of them did consider paperwork as one of the lectures. “Hoseok…”, Namjoon said, laying down his pen and leaning back, feeling the pain in his back from being hunched over too long.

“It’s late, why are you still here?”, Namjoon asked and Hoseok shrugged, entering the office. “Hey, I can be hard working.”, he joked and the two of them laughed. “I know that you’re hardworking… but the library is not-”, Namjoon said but Hoseok cut into his words. “Oh come on. The library is everyone’s safe place and you-”, Hoseok said but then it was Namjoon who cut into his words. “Hoseok, I know how much of a safe place this is but… you don’t overstay if you don’t have to. Your shift has been over 15 minutes ago… and you don’t leave work that late unless something is bothering you.” The smile on Hoseok’s face didn’t fade even a bit.

“No, it’s just… there has been a delivery and a letter addressed to you. I forgot to tell you. That’s all.”, Hoseok explained and left shortly after. Checking his watch, Namjoon realised that he was late for his meeting with Seokjin. Meeting. The word made his stomach turn as he got up to grab his jacket. What a businesslike term… meeting. They would just hang out and eat together, talking about their days. He left his office and locked the door. He told the other office workers that got ready to leave to have a good night and asked them to lock the library when they leave. So far, they always did.

Once he was out of the building, he grabbed his phone to call Seokjin. The voice he was met by sounded sad, almost hurt. “I was afraid you would forget about me.”, the older one said and something inside of Namjoon felt like crying. His heart was hurting. “I’m sorry.”, Namjoon said, hurrying along the way that would lead to the restaurant they picked. I was thinking about you all day, he thought, but he could not speak those thoughts. “I’ll hurry, I promise. Please wait for me.”, he said instead and before he hung up, he heard Seokjin’s faint “of course.” through the speaker of his phone.

Time added up and Namjoon entered the restaurant 20 minutes late, afraid Seokjin might have left already. No, he wouldn’t do that, Namjoon thought and as he couldn’t spot him, he felt miserable. A waitress approached him. “Can I help you, Sir?”, she asked and Namjoon nodded hastily. “I am looking for my friend. He is about this tall, handsome, has blonde hair and-”, he started and the waitress smiled. “I’ve seen him. He was sitting at the table over there just a while ago.”, she explained and Namjoon felt like his heart was shrinking inside his chest. “He went to the bar to grab a drink while waiting. I can show you.” The words of the young lady gave him new hope and a smile stretched across his face.

She lead him to the bar where Seokjin was sitting. Their eyes met and there was something in Seokjin’s eyes. Something, that Namjoon has seen before. The innocence and wonder, something he saw in them when they first met. The older one wasn’t wearing his glasses, yet he didn’t look any less handsome to Namjoon. It was their first meeting all over again. Seokjin’s handsomeness was taking Namjoon’s breath away once again and the remains of panic in Namjoon’s eyes made Seokjin feel like he had to protect him from all harm. To hold him for all eternity.

The younger one sat down next to Seokjin, both not taking their eyes off of each other. “You came.”, Seokjin finally said to break the silence. His tone was quiet, like a whisper, as if he didn’t want anyone else to hear it but Namjoon. Yet, Namjoon heard it loud and clear, as if Seokjin’s voice was inside of his head. The feeling, the atmosphere, everything screamed for Namjoon to just be with Seokjin.

Ever since he was sick and Seokjin took care of him, he felt as if they were less close. How they cuddled on Seokjin’s sofa. It was so nice, and it was the last time they have been that close. Namjoon thought it was his fault. The touch they shared at the aquarium - earlier that month - was faint and awkward. It was nice at some point, but somehow it just felt out of place. However, it was an experience they had to make. But that didn’t matter then, when they sat in the bar.

“Can I treat you to a drink before we eat?”, Seokjin asked and Namjoon looked around. Huge amounts of bottles, all with different names. What got Namjoon’s attention were the gin bottles. What kind of weird names they had. “A gin, perhaps?”, Seokjin asked teasingly as he noticed Namjoon’s gaze sticking with the variety of juniper berry spirits. Namjoon had to smirk. “I don’t need Gordon’s or Hendrick’s. You’re the only Jin I need.”, He joked and he was way too proud of his joke.

For a good reason, it was amazing. Even Seokjin thought so. His laugh echoed through the bar and almost brought tears to his eyes. He was holding his side as he slowly calmed down, breathing out the laughter in long pauses as he looked at Namjoon with a wide grin. Everything inside the younger one was burning up. If they wouldn’t have been in public, if the barkeeper and several other guests - that were looking at them closely because of Seokjin’s outburst - wouldn’t have been there, Namjoon would have given in to everything. He wasn’t alone with that thought.

Everything was right, for Seokjin. His mind was making him go crazy, chanting to kiss Namjoon right now, but his body took control to prevent it. Not here, not now, Seokjin thought, no matter how much it pained him to hold back. “I don’t think I need a drink.”, Seokjin uttered as he stroked his cheek in an attempt to push back imaginary glasses. “Me neither.”, Namjoon replied and Seokjin took it as a sign to get up and get back to their table. The restaurant was fancy and the waiters were nice and professional.

Seokjin would have envied them, for being able to work in a nice ambiance like this, any other day, but that day he just hoped everyone envied him. He hoped they envied him for spending the evening with the most amazing person in the entire universe. The food was delicious and Namjoon wished he could take out Seokjin to dinner dates like this more often. They didn’t talk much. When they did, they threw around with compliments, whether they were aimed towards the food, the restaurant, or each other.

Their hearts were beating together, a harmony that was impossible to go by unnoticed by the rest of the symphony called life. They were in love and longing for each other without knowing it - or rather, without letting anyone else know.

The night was dark and cold. The rain was falling down again, even in the later hours of the night. Namjoon wasn’t sure if the little light in the sky was an airplane or a star. The part of him that was fueled by romance and innocence already fell in love with the thought of it being a star, but his consciousness was harshly scolding him with facts that made him believe it’s just an airplane, high up in the polluted sky. He sighed, which was a sign for Seokjin to slip his hand into Namjoon’s.

As his thumbs stroked over Namjoon’s hand, Seokjin followed the younger one’s gaze towards the illuminated object in the sky. It was way too small and too far away for Seokjin to see without his glasses. “Tell me about your day.”, he whispered, eyes drifting off to Namjoon. The younger one’s head lowered, lips mumbling stretched “Hmmm”-sounds into his scarf as he tried to think of anything other than his work all day. He couldn’t think of anything worth mentioning and just shrugged. The older one mimicked his action, a puzzled look on his face, getting Namjoon’s attention.

“Papers, mostly. Finances and orders… nothing interesting… oh and I read a book.”, Namjoon explained and Seokjin nodded his head. “Tell me about that book you read.”, he said and Namjoon did not know where to start. “Well, there is this guy who is in a lot of trouble.”, Namjoon explained slowly, Seokjin’s eyebrow raising by the vagueness of the other’s words.

“His name is Abraham. It’s not a Korean book. We wants to rob a bank- wait, maybe I should explain why… no that would take too long. Let’s just say, he thinks that the only thing he can do.”, Namjoon continued, using his free hand to express himself more freely. “Anyways, he is on his way to rob this bank but once he gets to the counter, he is faced by this woman that takes his breath away and suddenly, he doesn’t want to rob this bank anymore, you know?” - “He fell in love with the woman?” - “Yeah. And he planned to hurt people but once he saw her he didn’t want to anymore.”

“Do you like romance novels?”, Seokjin asked and the question caught Namjoon off guard. He slowly nodded his head as if he wanted to confirm this information for himself, too. Reading was a hobby, he was aware of that. But his favourite genre being romance? He never really settled on that. Every book has at least some romance in it, doesn’t it?, he thought to himself, eyes drifting off to his hand that was being held by Seokjin.

The plain grey umbrella Seokjin was holding might give them shelter from the rain, but it was nothing compared to Seokjin’s pastel pink one. The feeling just wasn’t right. It became kind of a recognisable theme, something that just felt like a part of Seokjin. The day Namjoon broke it by accident was the day his heart broke in guilt, thinking that Seokjin would be mad or abandon him. But he didn’t. Seokjin was quite sad but he did not hate Namjoon for it.

It’s just an umbrella, he said back then - It’s just an umbrella, he still says to this day - and Namjoon bought him this grey umbrella to make up for it. Words won’t say it out loud, but Namjoon might have missed the pastel pink one more than Seokjin did. “Have you thought about writing your own love story?”, Seokjin asked, smiling innocently and without an ulterior motive for Namjoon to spot. “What was that?”, he asked, brows knitting together, trying to see if he really heard him right. “Have you thought about writing your own love story?”, Seokjin asked again, still this sweet smile on his lips - whichs’ taste Namjoon still fantasized about until that day.

“No… I’m more of a reader than a writer. I’m not good at writing.”, he said, and shrugged again, a sign that he actually did not know if he really was. “Have you tried?”, Seokjin asked and Namjoon shook his head. There was a long pause after that. Their gazes slowly drifted away from each other as they walked up the stairs that would lead them to the well known path of getting home - or at least to the train station.

With the nights getting longer and both of them spending more and more time until late after midnight, the street to the platform was almost empty except for them. They knew the train would come in a few minutes. By now, after all this time, they finally got a hang of this whole not-missing-the-train thing. They got quite good actually. Wet leaves and some mud were carried by hasty feet, covering plenty of the small station in dirty spots over the day. No one cared to clean it up that late.

Seokjin checked his watch. “Can you promise me something?”, the older man asked, handing his umbrella to Namjoon. Confused and curious, Namjoon held onto it. The lights at the station were dim, very dim, or broken. Even their phones would have emitted more light. “Sure, what do you want?”, Namjoon asked and watched as Seokjin let go of his hand for a moment, raising his arms to stretch his tired limbs. “Please, write your own love story”, Seokjin uttered and Namjoon started to chuckle, “with me in it.”

Namjoon stopped. What did he just say?, he asked himself, trying to get an answer from the other man. “I don’t think I understand.”, Namjoon mumbled, trying to make eye contact with Seokjin, who kept the gaze of his smiling face fixed on the ground. “Let me be part of your love story.”, he demanded and the gears in Namjoon’s head were turning against each other. “I don’t think… I understand.”, Namjoon repeated and Seokjin’s smile grew a bit, whispering a faint ‘you said that before’ over his lips.

The older one’s whole body turned towards Namjoon, head lifting with a smile that could tell a million words the other would want to hear and eyes that could tell him a million lies that he would all believe, just by the way Seokjin looks at him. One of the things that send a shiver down Namjoon’s spine was the look Seokjin gave him. A look - shining through only for a faint second - that told him ‘I want you’ without words.

“Write it and let me be the love interest of the main character.”, Seokjin hummed and as his words slipped into Namjoon’s head, the older one’s fingers intertwined with Namjoon’s again. They stood close - so close - in front of each other, almost wrapped around the base of the umbrella. The ground felt like it was shaking.

“Who would that be?”, Namjoon breathed, feeling a rush of adrenaline going through him as soon as Seokjin got closer, whispering “You.” against his lips before pulling down the umbrella to shield the curious eyes of the people in the arriving train from their kiss.

The train that just arrived and whose inside lights engulfed both of them, sparkling like fireworks with every window frame that did not want the light to escape into the night. The train whose breeze let the ends of their coats dance around their figures as it slowed down to open its doors. They did not care. The cold that was nibbling on Seokjin’s lips before was replaced by what he was longing for for so long. The warmth of Namjoon’s lips paired with the taste of the one glass of wine they had while eating.

Namjoon was giving in slowly, unsure how to react to this sudden attack on his lips. It wasn’t that he did not want to kiss Seokjin - oh no, he was actually craving it for a long while - but rather that he didn’t know how to kiss him. He was not prepared for this. It was when their lips were about to part, because of Seokjin’s insecurity that he might have been too straightforward, that Namjoon let go of the other’s hand to glide it over Seokjin’s neck to pull him close again, aiming for another, longer kiss.

Their lips were almost crashing into each other - typical for Namjoon to be so harsh that he almost destroys everything - and Seokjin’s hand found itself around Namjoon’s hip. A little pause, letting them both breathe, and another try, much more careful and soft then before. The lights around them faded, another fresh breeze rushing past them while playing with their coats - the train departed - while the two of them were busy figuring out how to make the kiss more comfortable.

Namjoon was the first to tilt his head slightly, trying to figure out a good angle that let their lips collide to the fullest, rewarding him with the sweet taste of Seokjin’s full lips. His heart was beating so fast he feared to pass out. Even if I would pass out, he thought, it would have been worth it. Every second of it. Their lips were pulsing against each other, sucking in each other’s taste while denying air to get through.

What they have been longing for after all this time finally happened. Shortly after their lips go used to each other, their kiss broke apart, leaving them gasping for air and wanting more. Their eyes slowly fluttered open and Seokjin’s eyes were shining brighter than the stars in the night sky. “I’ve wanted to do this for so long.”, he whispered, letting his thumb stroke along Namjoon’s jawline.

The younger one’s heart was racing, together with his breath. “I- I didn’t know.”, Namjoon mumbled, his head trembling because of the blood rushing into his cheeks. “I had no idea that you liked me in that way.” - “What do you mean, you had no idea?”, Seokjin scoffed, letting his hands wander over Namjoon’s shoulder. “I held your hand.”, Seokjin whispered, letting his hand run down Namjoon’s arm to take his hand like he did for the first time.

“I pulled you close.”, Seokjin added, wrapping his other arm around Namjoon’s waist like he did when the younger one was protecting them from the rain with his coat. Their faces were so close again and Namjoon couldn’t help but to place another kiss on Seokjin’s lips. It was quick and impulsive but Seokjin didn’t mind. For some reason, Namjoon was embarrassed for not being able to hold back his desire to kiss Seokjin.

“I send off a thousand signals… I was started to doubt you really liked me.”, the older one mumbled against Namjoon’s lips as they broke their kiss apart. “I didn’t get the signals.”, Namjoon confessed, and that’s when the bubble inside his head popped. He did get the signals, but he never thought Seokjin was doing them out of affection. “Isn’t it ironic? You read so many romance novels, yet you didn’t spot the romance that was right in front of you.”, Seokjin asked and Namjoon had to chuckle.

“Maybe that’s exactly why.”, the younger one mumbled, smiling shyly as he tightened the grip around Seokjin’s hand, stroking the back of the other’s hand with his thumb. Nothing mattered then. The only thing that mattered was that they had found each other. The past they build up together, spending nights together, walking the same familiar road towards the train station. And the fact that they both were deeply in love with each other.

The night was quiet and every time Seokjin smiled, Namjoon was like hot butter in his arms. “We missed our train.”, Namjoon mumbled as the older one rested his head on his shoulder. “I know, and I would do it again, if it meant that I could kiss you.”, Seokjin replied teasingly and Namjoon smiled wide. “We don’t have to miss our train for that.”, the younger one replied and Seokjin gladly took the hint, engaging in another long kiss with his lover.

~*~

Within a few weeks, their relationship only grew from that point on. From that night on, the night they kissed at the train station, everything went uphill. Seokjin had a few days off where he would visit Namjoon in the library or Namjoon would spend some time with Seokjin after work. The more they held back in public, sharing touches and stealing kisses from each other, the less they had to hold back once they were alone, where the air felt like it was electrified, sparks going off with every opportunity that cut through the tension.

The sofa wasn’t only for watching movies together. It was a place of sensual touches and kisses that let the happenings, of whatever they were watching on TV, fade into the background. There was nothing left of the cold November nights once they sat there together. The first week was experimental, trying out how far they could go with each other. Seokjin was the one that lead the ‘experiment’, engaging in kisses and caressing Namjoon while the younger one was melting like wax in his hands. Namjoon was enjoying every second of Seokjin’s touches. He was enjoying that he didn’t have to hide his feelings anymore.

Even more, he enjoyed that Seokjin seemed to love him back so dearly the younger one didn’t even have to ask him for anything. Seokjin just knew. It was at the beginning of their second week, the last week of November, where things started to go faster, knowing that they were both ok with more than just simple kisses and an arm around the other one’s shoulder.

They met at Seokjin’s place mostly and Namjoon sometimes felt more at home in the older one’s living room than he did in his own flat. He was planning to move out anyways, since he got the raise. His home was more of a place to be, other than at work or at Seokjin’s place. A place, where his books were waiting for him to be read and not only stored.

The movie they picked started to bore Seokjin after the first 20 minutes. The story was way too repetitive and the protagonist was running away all the time. Within 20 minutes! Seokjin didn’t even have to do the whole pretend-to-yawn show to get his arm around Namjoon - not that he would’ve ever needed it - since the last weeks. His arm was resting on the younger one’s shoulder but his fingers were itching to wander down Namjoon’s back and sneak underneath his shirt.

Filled with heavy thoughts of things he would rather do, Seokjin’s head fell onto Namjoon’s shoulder. The younger one smiled and wrapped his arm around Seokjin’s waist. His fingers were playing with the hem of Seokjin’s pullover as he felt the older one’s breath against his neck. Soon, kisses followed Seokjin’s breath, trailing along the younger one’s neck, daring to suck on his skin to leave a love bite.

“Am I that much more interesting than the movie?”, Namjoon chuckled, running his hand up and down Seokjin’s side. “Honestly? Yes, you are. Is that even a real question?”, Seokjin replied, his voice light and innocent, just the way Namjoon loved it. Seokjin didn’t knew that his voice was most attractive to Namjoon when it was like this. It had an effect on Namjoon. Not the manipulative kind. Just the kind of effect that makes one remember why they fell in love with this person while slowly falling in love again.

“The movie isn’t that good anyways.”, Namjoon hummed, distracted by the older one’s kisses. “Thank god.”, Seokjin laughed as he stroked Namjoon’s cheek before pulling himself up to grace the younger one��s lips with a passionate kiss. It was so powerful that Namjoon almost forgot to breathe. As quick as Seokjin’s hand found itself caressing Namjoon’s face, it wandered down to the younger one’s butt. “Come here~”, Seokjin whispered, shifting in his seat to pull Namjoon closer, having the younger one sitting on his lap without a complaint.

The hand that formerly rested on Namjoon’s shoulder had then made its way beneath his shirt, caressing his skin with featherlight touches, stroking up and down his back. Namjoon’s hand found its way to the back of Seokjin’s head, running his fingers through the older one’s hair, while the other hand was wrapped around Seokjin’s waist.

Both of them couldn’t keep their hands to themselves - not that they even wanted to - while they were busy exploring this moment of sensuality. It was when Seokjin gave in to the moment, getting carried away for a short moment, that he found himself firmly squeezing Namjoon’s butt cheek. The younger one let a surprised moan escape into their kiss, opening the barrier for their tongues to collide.

It was their second french kiss, yet it didn’t feel any less exciting than the first one. Their first one was when Seokjin visited Namjoon in the library. He surprised him with home cooked seaweed soup that they shared in Namjoon’s office. He couldn’t remember how they engaged it back then. He only knew Seokjin’s was leaning against the desk and the taste of the soup was still prominent on his lips.

Despite their second kiss having a little less taste, it had just enough spice to turn up the mood. The sound of the television was slowly fading into the background as the two of them started pushing each other deeper into the cushions of the sofa. Namjoon felt a fire burning inside him with every single touch of Seokjin. The older one pulled Namjoon even closer, almost breaking apart the kiss but Namjoon wasn’t ready to let go of Seokjin’s lips just yet. They had all the time in the world and no one who would interrupt them.

Excited to where this would lead to, Namjoon was unconsciously tugging at Seokjin’s shirt. Shortly afterwards, Seokjin paused their kiss, giving them time to breathe. Their eyes met and the younger one could read the emotions in Seokjin’s eyes like he could read a book. Passion, devotion and lust. “Can I be honest for a second?”, Seokjin asked, trailing his finger up and down Namjoon’s spine, replacing the fire he felt before with a shiver. It was not his intention to slow down their fun, but he needed to know, and he needed to let Namjoon know.

“Yeah, sure.”, the younger one replied, running his hand through Seokjin’s hair. If he couldn’t be honest in a situation like this, when could he be? The older one’s heart was beating rapidly, amongst other things the blood rush made him blush just enough for Namjoon to notice in the dim light. “Ever since we fell down that day, I was wondering what it would feel like to hold your hand.”, he purred, his voice soft and innocent and Namjoon had to smile. “Ever since I held your hand, I was wondering what your lips would taste like.”, Seokjin continued and rose one hand to let his thumb stroke over Namjoon’s bottom lip while the older one was biting his own.

“Now that I finally know, I can’t help but wonder what your lips must feel like on the rest of my body. Every night I keep imagining your lips sucking on every bit of my skin.”, he breathed and Namjoon could feel Seokjin’s hot breath trail down his neck. “I know it’s too much to ask just yet…”, the older one added and his voice was trailing off, carrying a rather dejected tone with it. “Go on.”, the younger one whispered, his deep voice escaping from his dry throat.

He cleared his throat as Seokjin’s head rose so that their eyes would meet. - Oh, those eyes - “Go on. Tell me what else you want.”, Namjoon slowly said, breathing loudly. His husky voice had Seokjin feel weak. Weak to deny him anything. The older one’s arms wrapped around Namjoon’s lower half as he pulled him closer, resting his head right next to Namjoon’s so he could whisper into his ear. As he got closer, Namjoon could feel it.

He could feel Seokjin’s erection against his crotch. “I want to undress you, but that’s not all. I want you to undress me too. I want to explore every inch of your body with my fingers,”, Seokjin hummed as his hand crawled underneath the younger one’s shirt, caressing his front - “with my lips”, he breathed as he kissed his way up from Namjoon’s collarbone back to his lips - “and with my tongue.”

As if it was a cue word, Namjoon was ready to welcome Seokjin’s tongue back into his mouth. There was a passion in the way Seokjin kissed him that Namjoon knew he would never forget this night. However, after a few seconds, Seokjin was already retreating from Namjoon’s lips. “But there’s more…”, the older one chuckled, voice ringing with innocence even though both of them knew that his words won’t be as innocent.

“I want to feel your breath on my skin. I want to feel your lips on my skin. I want to feel your skin against mine. I want to know what it feels like to be one with you.”, Seokjin listed while Namjoon was listening carefully, biting his lip. He wanted it too - god how much he wanted it - but he didn’t think it would happen so soon. “Is it too much to ask?”, Seokjin chuckled, head leaning back.

That was when Namjoon let his cold hands wander below Seokjin’s shirt while placing hot kisses along the older one’s neck, making Seokjin’s whole body shiver. “What if I told you, it’s not?”, Namjoon’s deep voice rang in the other man’s ears and his touch almost made Seokjin unable to hold back his moan. “What if you could have your wish?”, the younger asked and Seokjin hummed, taking a deep breath. “Everything?”, he asked excited, yet slightly disbelieving. “Everything at its time.”, Namjoon replied and Seokjin moved his head again to look at the other.

The smirk on his lips and the calm in his eyes were hiding the storm of excitement that was raging inside Seokjin. “And what time is it now?”, the older one asked, teasingly winking at Namjoon who shot him a smile. Their lips met for another wet kiss that almost robbed Seokjin of his breath as they shifted in their seat, hands exploring the inside of each other’s clothing before Namjoon started to fiddle with Seokjin’s belt, and later on the zipper. “Time to lean back and relax.”, Namjoon suggested, even though it sounded more of an order - an order that Seokjin would gladly take - as he kneeled in front of the couch.

The air was hot and with every kiss that Namjoon pressed against Seokjin’s skin, the tension rose until he finally freed the older one’s legs from his pants. His underwear was rising like a tent under the pressure of his length, leaving a dark, wet spot on the fabric from how excited Namjoon had him. It was almost surreal to Seokjin. Namjoon’s fingers slipped below the elastic band of the older one’s boxers to pull them down until his erection was freed. Moment later, Seokjin felt like he was in heaven. As the younger one’s tongue wrapped around his base, Seokjin’s fingers had already sunken into Namjoon’s hair.

The lips that were speaking those desires just moments ago were now parting in sounds of pleasure, getting longer with every minute passing. The soft lighting and quiet music emitted by the TV engulfed them and together with Seokjin’s moans it almost sounded like a symphony, arranged by a mastermind. The older one’s fingers curled as he felt a tingle rise in his belly and goosebumps covering his skin. Namjoon was not new to things like this. The older one could feel it - Oh boy, and how he could feel it - and Namjoon didn’t plan on acting like he didn’t know how to please a man. His man. Seokjin.

Soft moans filled their ears as Seokjin enjoyed every second of the pleasure Namjoon was giving him, besides giving him a hard time to hold back and enjoy it for longer. The sound of the TV couldn’t make it to the older one anymore as Namjoon’s soft lips stroked his length and his tongue caressed every inch there was to explore before cupping in the shot Jin couldn’t hold back any more.

It turned out messier than both of them expected and Seokjin shyly smiled, biting his lips, as Namjoon struggled to not choke on it by accident. While the noise of the movie slowly came back to fill out the atmosphere again, Namjoon hurried to the bathroom while Seokjin pulled up his pants again. Even though it just happened, Seokjin still felt the excitement in his body. The excitement of Namjoon willingly sucking his dick. The excitement of knowing Namjoon didn’t force himself - Seokjin could clearly feel that - and that he did not regret a thing.

“This is unreal.” Seokjin mumbled to himself, hands fiddling with his belt, eyes fixed on his crotch where Namjoon’s head could’ve been found just a moment earlier. It all came naturally, yet Seokjin was questioning the situation. Then he frowned. Why was he like this. How could he even question this? He just shared an intimate moment with his lover and all he could think about were doubt, and not the pleasure.

It must have been his past experience - his past relationship - that was still nagging on his soul. Whispering words of unreason and accusations that made Seokjin feel fear tearing at his heart, daring to pull it into an abyss of deep thinking. The kind of deep thinking he saw on Namjoon. Only darker. And quieter. And about that dark haired beauty of a man that had once knocked over a lamp in Seokjin’s house out of anger.

As Namjoon emerged from the bathroom, the thoughts of this man were gone. There was no mysterious, twisted man. There was Namjoon. One who wouldn’t knock over and break Seokjin’s furniture in anger, but maybe walk against a table in his pure, drunk on love, unobservance as he smiled the most sincere smile, filled with a kiss of shyness. The older one took a deep breath , and yet he still felt breathless.

And at this point Jin knew, there was nothing he had to worry about when he was with Namjoon. He only worried about the times he wouldn’t be with him. He would count days, minutes, seconds until they would see each other again. He wanted to make every date more memorable than the last. He wanted to shower Namjoon in kitsch and clutter that proves his love.

As the younger one sat down next to him, Seokjin could finally breathe again. The air tastes used and hot, made his mouth dry, but he would walk through a desert just to see Namjoon’s dimpled smile. Their hands met and Seokjin pulled the other one closer, resting his blonde hair against Namjoon’s neck that he had stained with lovebites on other days before. Seokjin’s eyelids fluttered shut while he placed soft kisses against Namjoon’s skin. Kisses so soft one could think Seokjin didn’t want to break the precious image he discovered of Namjoon - or rather, that he gave him.

~*~

The warmth of the early autumn sun was long forgotten in the night of the first December day, but Seokjin did not need the summer just yet. Namjoon’s voice and loving words were enough to carry his mind to a warm beach where the wind was kissing his skin and the waves of the sea were calmly carrying the younger one’s voice closer to him. Despite radically dropping temperatures, snow was taking its time to show up and cover the streets in an ocean of what looked like white sugar, fine and clear but not nearly as sweet.

“Seokjin, are you listening?”, the younger one’s voice was shaking because of the cold as it nibbled on his lips with every syllable he spoke. “I’m sorry.”, Seokjin apologized, “I guess I got lost in your words.” Namjoon shook his head with a smile as he closed down the library for that day. “I asked you what you want for your birthday.”, he repeated as he turned to face the blonde beauty of a man that he had falled for - metaphorically and literally - a while ago. It was a question that made Seokjin think hard. “For my birthday?”, the older one repeated, tapping his chin.

There was nothing he could wish for anymore. Nothing Namjoon hadn’t already given him. A new Umbrella. His trust. His love. His time. There was only one thing Seokjin could ask for. “Could I wish for anything?”, he smirked and Namjoon engaged their walk as he took the place next to Seokjin, sneaking his hands into the other one’s pocket to let their fingers intertwine. “Anything realistic.”, Namjoon replied and he could feel the cold creep through his shoes.

Seokjin had to chuckle, not being able to hold back his comment about how Namjoon was the dreamer of the two of them. “Is it realistic enough to wish for us to move in together?”, Seokjin suggested, a slight purr in his voice to let Namjoon catch the intention that he wants to be with him. However, the gears in the other one’s head were already turning, squashing that intention and storing it somewhere in the back of his brain next to hidden confessions and sugar coated lies that he had heard throughout his whole life.

“Really? Wait that would be a bit short- I mean, your birthday is already in three days. I mean- you know I wanted to move out anyways, and moving together would actually be nice- will we find an apartment this quick? One that is big enough? No, we have to like it, that’s the most important-” - “Namjoon.”, Seokjin cut in, interrupting Namjoon’s chain of thoughts, breaking the links and stopping his mind from tying itself together.

“It’s ok. We don’t have to rush this. But thank you for considering it.” His last words were but a whisper and he squeezed the younger one’s hand tightly, walking close to his lover as they passed several shops and street lights. “Would you really want us to move together?”, Namjoon asked, a tone as if he just actually realised what the older one asked for. A smile laid down on Seokjin’s lips as he left that question unanswered.

The half-moon shaped glasses that usually framed his romantic dark eyes were left at home that day. He had tried to switch to contact lenses since his glasses kept falling off more frequently. The hinges were old and overused, the glass itself was scratched and it was impossible to keep them clean for a whole day. Namjoon was the one to suggest the exchange and even though Seokjin was used to his glasses being a part of him, he listened to Namjoon listing the pros and cons. In the end, it was a good choice.

Another thing that has been running through his mind lately, aside from wearing contacts, was the thought of suggesting Namjoon to officially move in with him. Jin loves having him around and he knows how Namjoon eases at the sight of the living room. How he snuggles close on the sofa, how he knows every corner and shelve and drawer better than the older one himself.

“You seem to think a lot tonight.”, Namjoon chuckled, softly tackling the older one. “We can move into my apartment.”, Seokjin suddenly blurred out, unaware if Namjoon was even talking about the moving situation again. Judging by the bewildered expression on the younger one’s face, he was not. “I’m sorry, what were you talking about?”, Seokjin quickly asked before Namjoon pulled his scarf up a bit, covering a lip bite as the love sick sparkles in his eyes dimmed. “I asked you if you wanted to eat take out.”, he mumbled, stroking his lover’s hand with his thumb.

A lie. That would have actually been his next question. “Sounds great. Your treat?”, Seokjin teased and he saw the smile in Namjoon’s eyes as he looked up. “My treat.”, he agreed and Seokjin quickly kissed the back of Namjoon’s hand. He did that a lot. Mostly when he planned to apologize or spoil Namjoon later on. Sometimes both.

They got their favourite dishes and went to Seokjin’s place. Namjoon hadn’t seen his own home in a while. The promotion made it impossible to spend some peaceful hours at home. The shelves were overflowing with books and stationery. Folders stacked upon folders, paper edges peering from pages of notebooks that he had stored where his novels used to be. If he wasn’t at home, sighing about the mess he made, he was at the library in his office, sometimes he even slept there.

When the nights got too long and he felt his body glued to the old leather chair that was way too big for his former boss but just the right size for Namjoon. Seokjin’s home was organized and clean. Every day he entered, his house shoes were waiting for him, the lights were a pleasant luminosity and no bright flickering desk lamp that really needed a new lightbulb. Sometimes, if Seokjin would be waiting for Namjoon, it would smell like home cooked food, but in times like that, where they would enter together, the silence and the smell of take out food was just the calm they needed.

Namjoon slipped into the house shoes after he took off his jacket and Jin already marched into the kitchen. The moment the younger one stepped into the living room however, he felt like he was at an unknown place. It felt like someone else’s home. Could it be because of what Seokjin said earlier?, he thought, his mind chewing on the suggestion of Seokjin like it was chewing a piece of gum that lost its flavour five minutes ago - but you can’t stop chewing.

Rustling plastic bags lured him into the kitchen as if they were calling him to get ready to eat. The way Seokjin unpacked their food looked rather sloppy and nowhere near anything domestic, but Namjoon could sense a soothing something swiftly rise up his spine, spreading in his mind like a fog that deceives all evil thoughts. His heart was racing, thinking about living with Seokjin. Yet, the fact that the older one didn’t even listen to him when he said ‘I love you’ for the first time left him a little bit hurt.

“How are the orders going?”, Seokjin asked as they sat down together. “Pretty good. I don’t have to order too many books at the moment. I purposely ordered more of the current bestsellers so I won’t have to refill the stock later. Also, not many students come to order or look for books they have to read for classes or lectures. We only order what needs to be restocked and sell what we have at the moment.”, Namjoon explained pretty dry and Jin nodded. The older one knows how important it is to keep the storage full.

The bistro is pretty empty at the moment, but it is just the calm before the winter storm. It’s a popular place for tourists and couples during the christmas season so he could already be sure he had to work then. Either way, this year was the first year he could take a day off at his birthday. And the day before, and the day after. Three days he would want to spend with Namjoon. The smell of their food quickly filled the apartment and the actual food quickly filled their stomachs. Seokjin was almost exaggeratedly moaning and boasting about how good the food was while Namjoon just grinned every time the other did it.

“How about the story.”, the older asked after they finished eating and Namjoon looked at him, face morphing into an expression of confusion as he threw away the plastic bags and containers. “What are you talking about?”, he asked and Seokjin came to pull the other close. His arms were wrapped around Namjoon’s waist as he made their foreheads touch, eyes closing slowly. “Our love story~.”, he cooed, reminding Namjoon of the promise Seokjin demanded on the day of their first kiss. “You promised to write a love story with me as the love interest of the protagonist, aka you.”, He added and Namjoon chuckled before slightly tilting his head.

“Did I really promise this? Or did you kiss me before I could agree.”, Namjoon countered and it made Seokjin smile before he pressed a soft kiss onto his lover’s lips. A kiss that tasted like soy sauce and fried chicken and all the different types of spices Seokjin liked so much. Namjoon enjoyed the taste so much he did not want to let it go. He deepened their kiss, let his hands slide onto the older one’s neck. As Seokjin pulled Namjoon closer, his arms happened to slide upwards, almost pulling Namjoon’s shirt up with them. They were leaning against the kitchen counter as Seokjin caressed Namjoon’s face.

Namjoon’s heart was racing and he could feel a fire - no, more of an ember - sizzle in his chest. The same heat he felt before confessing to Seokjin when he did not listen. He would do it again. He would do it now once he had the chance. As their lips parted to let them breathe, Namjoon breathed the older one’s name with it, earning him a sound of confirmation from Seokjin. A sign that he was listening. “I just wanted to tell you-”, Namjoon said but his words got interrupted by the doorbell and several knocks on the door.

Perplexed, Namjoon lost track of his words and thoughts. “Not this again.”, the older one mumbled as he let go of his lover with a heavy heart to open the door, recognizing the unique pattern right from the start. In front of the door was a bright, smiling young man with an unnatural hair colour and every time Seokjin saw him he looked like he really enjoyed having this hair colour. Jin has seen otherwise.

“What can I do for you?”, Seokjin asked his upstairs neighbour that recently moved in with a roommate and his friend. “Did I interrupt anything?”, he asked before not waiting for an answer, “Sorry. I was just wondering if you still have our bag of flour.”, he said and the older one frowned. “I never had your bag of flour.”, Seokjin encountered and Namjoon listened to the conversation from the kitchen, heart dropping low as he once again failed to say ‘I Love You’.

The man outside frowned, tapping his chin. “Really? Jimin - my roommate -, you know him, right? This tall, or small how I like to say-” he gestured to a height shortly above his shoulder “See, he said you had it.” Seokjin took a deep breath before letting out a loud sigh. “Taehyung. What exactly did Jimin say?”, Seokjin asked and Taehyung paused a second and it looked like he just realized something. “Wait, he didn’t say you had our bag of flour.It was Jinyoung and not Jin-hyung.”, Taehyung mumbled and smiled. “I’m sorry, I guess knocked on the wrong door. Have a nice evening!”

As quick as he showed up, he was gone again and Seokjin closed the door, wondering why in god’s name he would need flour at this hour. Still, he adored Taehyung and he was always curious about what type of people his roommates are to keep up with him. Lovely people. As Seokjin made his way back into the actual living area, Namjoon was already sitting on the sofa in the living room. He brought a book from one of his co-workers’ friends that he was asked to read through, maybe check for errors, and later on use his connections to maybe get it published.

Namjoon has read through 120 pages of the 206 page novel and did not once grab a red pen to correct anything. Mostly, because there wasn’t enough space on the side for corrections, but also because he wanted to read the story first before focusing on corrections. Seokjin saw the peaceful image of Namjoon reading and decided he wanted to be part of it. He sat down next to him before wrapping his arms around the younger one, snuggling close and eventually shift their position where they lay on the sofa, Seokjin’s head resting on Namjoon’s chest, who rested the book on Seokjin’s shoulder, holding it with one hand while the other one was roaming through the other one’s blond dyed locks.

“What are you reading?”, the older one mumbled, voice light like a feather that fell onto Namjoon’s chest. “A script.”, the other one answered, almost a whisper as he kept caressing Jin’s scalp. “How’s it?”, the other one whispered, voice ringing with the sound of sleep as he yawned afterwards. Just by that, Namjoon suddenly felt much more tired, his body realizing all the work he did today. “It’s ok. Not a bestseller, but maybe he could sell 150 copies, if he’s lucky 200.”, he explained and Seokjin nodded. “How much would he need for it to be a bestseller?”, the older one asked, eyes closing and listening to Namjoon’s smooth heartbeat. “More than thousand copies, I suppose. Or just lots of copies in a certain period of time.”, Namjoon explained, retreating his hand to turn the page. Shortly after that, Seokjin kept quiet and Namjoon almost believed he fell asleep.

“Would you read something out of it for me?”, he then asked, his voice quieter than the turning of the pages and Namjoon agreed. The younger one kept his voice low but steady, paying attention on what to emphasize and he gave different characters different voices. It made Seokjin smile as he slowly drifted into the land of dreams, Namjoon’s voice being guidance and his chest being Seokjin’s pillow. After almost ten pages of reading out loud, Namjoon’s yawn were more frequent and he kept rubbing his eyes.

He considered that it was too late to keep reading and Seokjin was sleeping anyways. One arm wrapped around Jin, the librarian placed the book on the table besides the sofa, trying to move as little as possible to not wake the other. While he let the silence engulf them both as he ran his fingertips up and down Seokjin’s back, he thought about that day. How he planned to say ‘I love you’. How Seokjin suggested to officially move together. How he enjoyed this moment. I could have this for many more days, he thought, I’d like that.

Namjoon stroked Seokjin’s hair before softly kissing it. “I love you.”, he whispered and leaned back in an attempt to sleep. “I love you too, Namjoon.”, the older one breathed, hugging closer to Namjoon as if he was afraid the other would leave because of his statement. “Let’s get to bed. It will be more comfortable than the sofa.” Seokjin suggested, getting up and letting his hands glide down Namjoon’s arms. The younger one groaned in response, whining about how he was about to fall asleep like this, with Seokjin on his chest, being held like he never wanted to let go ever again.

Promptly, Seokjin wrapped his arms around Namjoon and pulled him up, trying to pick him up from the sofa, resulting in Namjoon starting to laugh. “What are you doing? Stop, I don’t want you to hurt yourself.”, the younger one chuckled as he got up to prevent Jin from getting hurt. “If it means I can carry you to bed and lay you down so I can cuddle up, I am willing to take the risk, Joonie.”, Seokjin countered with a wink and a kiss on Namjoon’s cheek.

Tired feet carried them towards the bedroom door, rigid fingers trying to dig into the fabric of each other’s clothes as Seokjin chivalrously held onto Namjoon, opening the door and guiding him to the soft bed. “Did I ever tell you what a gentleman you are?”, Namjoon asked, the door falling shut behind them as Jin crawled towards the other, cuddling him like a domestic kitten.

“I’ll move mountains, plant trees, swim across oceans and catch fireflies in a jar if that meant you could be happy. Being a gentleman is the least I can be.”, the older one replied and Namjoon couldn’t tell if he got warm by Seokjin’s body heat or his words. The curtains were drawn shut so Namjoon couldn’t look at the night sky, wondering about the little white dots that might have been nothing but airplanes.

Were there stars outside?, he asked himself as Seokjin’s steady breathing made his own heart adjust to the rhythm. Namjoon wouldn’t need stars. Seokjin was making his life brighter. He was living in the real world and not someone else’s made up fantasy that found its way onto paper. Books were still his hobby, but Seokjin was now his passion. Namjoon couldn’t imagine life any different now. It could only get better, he thought, eyes falling shut as he drifted to sleep.

~*~

It was colder than expected as Namjoon met up with his co-worker Hoseok. It was Christmas Eve and Namjoon forgot his gloves once again. The thick fabric of his coat was enough to give shelter from wind and snow, but the cold was creeping up all the way through his sleeves. Namjoon had the perfect Christmas present for Seokjin. He couldn’t arrange it to Seokjin’s birthday, he did not have enough time back then. Yet, Seokjin was still more than excited about his birthday present from Namjoon.

Everything at it’s time, those words were ringing in Seokjin’s head as Namjoon presented himself as his present, nervous of how the older one might react. The sensation of their bodies becoming one and Namjoon feeling Seokjin move inside him for the first time was - groundbreaking! Of course Seokjin told him he didn’t have to do it just because it was his birthday, but Namjoon insisted that he felt ready for that step. A step to take with Jin together. Namjoon still had butterflies in his stomach every time he thought about it.

The knock on his office door interrupted his thoughts - maybe for the better - and Hoseok walked in on Namjoon filing papers. “I’m sorry for calling you here on your day off.”, Namjoon apologized and Hoseok raised his hand to wave through the air. “No problem. I have plenty of time. My family went on vacation - separately - anyways. My sister is in Japan with a bunch of friends and my parents saved up to go to Dubai. I’m all alone today.”, Hoseok explained, and even though it sounded like a sad story, he was smiling like he always did. There wasn’t a day that Namjoon saw him seriously sad.

“What about your boyfriend?”, Namjoon asked, storing papers and stapling others together. “With his family.”, Hoseok replied shortly, letting out an almost unnoticed sigh. “Why aren’t you-” “They don’t know. Still. But it’s ok.”, Hoseok cut in and sat down in front of Namjoon. “He’s actually quite paranoid about telling them so I won’t push him.”, he added and got a folder from his bag. As soon as the folder made an appearance, Namjoon’s eyes started to sparkle. It might have been a plain yellow see-through plastic folder, but for the librarian, it was much more.

“Is that it?”, he asked and Hoseok placed it on his boss’s table with a smile. “Yup. Just as you asked. The actual document came today because they had shipping issues, but if it wouldn’t have gotten here in time, I would have at least given you the certificate. The frame and all would have come to you later of course.”, Hoseok explained as Namjoon reached for the folder. “Thank you. Really. I couldn’t have it delivered to our place, he would have known.”, Namjoon said, excited to unveil the content of the plastic package.

Our place. Ah, how he enjoyed saying this. Seokjin’s early christmas present was a legal document, claiming that Namjoon was now living under the same roof, in the same apartment as Seokjin. They sorted things out and got everything going to get Namjoon out of his old scanty apartment. They even settled on - a thing Namjoon never thought he would agree on - giving away some of his precious books.

He always loved his collection, but now he had no space, nor time to take care of it anymore. They wanted to bring the books that he could let go of to the second hand book store, but what pained Namjoon even more was to find out that the lady closed her shop late November. The books he sorted out were either old or got boring, but there was one book he wouldn’t give away. His copy of Dr. Glas. The one he bought when he first met Seokjin. He hasn’t finished it yet, he was way too busy, but it had an emotional value for him.

“Can I ask you something?”, Hoseok asked as they left the library and Namjoon locked the gate behind them. “If you’re asking to celebrate christmas with us, I’m sorry but I have to turn you down.”, Namjoon replied without giving away further information on their christmas plans. “No, no that’s not it. I’m cool with just chilling alone.”, Hoseok chuckled but he looked sadder than usual. If they wouldn’t have plans, Namjoon would have loved to invite Hoseok over.

“I just wanted to know why you got him this? And why the name is so complicated.” A smile rushed across Namjoon’s lips as he thought about the answer to Hoseok’s question. His reason was way too deep and certainly hard to put into words. It also had something romantic and maybe also cheesy, but it was worth it. “Trust me, it has a meaning. Thank you for taking care of it.”, Namjoon just uttered before they parted ways. He would want to cover Seokjin in all the light from the stars in the night sky… but one star should be enough.

He made his way to their shared apartment, knowing Seokjin was already waiting for him. Mrs. Son, - who was previously Ms. Choi - Seokjin’s boss, decided that it was time to give the bistro a break for winter, going off in her honeymoon with her newly wed husband and giving all workers a free holiday season. The smell of seaweed soup and kimchi and all different spices, blending all together like a symphony, invaded Namjoon’s nose as he skimpily skipped over the threshold, into the kitchen where Seokjin was waiting.

“I’m expecting an apology, or a great present for you being late.”, Seokjin joked, eyes fixed on Namjoon, lips curled into a smile. Namjoon greeted his lover with a kiss before promising that he will get both, later. The younger one placed a package onto the table that was neatly wrapped into some of the libraries wrapping paper they prepared for christmas. Seokjin did not know that. He also did not know that it was Hoseok that wrapped the present and not Namjoon, but either way, he would not care.

“No, no, no.”, Seokjin lectured the younger one, asking him to put the present away. “Why?”, Namjoon asked confused and Seokjin shook his head. “Food first, presents later.”, he said and Namjoon chuckled. “I also got my present before we ate.”, Namjoon countered. “Yes, that’s why I’m going to wait for mine.”, Seokjin shot back and they agreed on eating first. Looking back, it was the better idea, considering the amount of happiness that shot through Seokjin after he opened it. Namjoon was sure that Seokjin’s cooking was getting better every time he ate it.

They barely talked, thus finishing their dinner quickly. The sun hasn’t been seen for hours and Seokjin wanted to give their apartment a romantic touch for christmas by lighting candles. Namjoon loved the whole atmosphere. If he could, he would want to bathe in it, breathe it in, and never let it go. As they moved into the living room, Seokjin pulled Namjoon close, sitting down with him on the sofa. “Now where is my apology?”, he asked, grinning before not being able to hold back from kissing Namjoon for a moment. A moment long enough for Namjoon to let their fingers intervene.

Not wanting to break their kiss apart but also being thrilled about giving Seokjin his present, Namjoon got up to grab the package from the kitchen. His fingers ran along the edges of the neatly wrapped paper and if he hadn’t known what was inside already, he would have dared to unwrap it now and then. He hurried back to his lover and reached him the present as he sat down. “Merry Christmas. If you have any questions, just ask.”, Namjoon said and Jin grinned. “Where’s my apology?”, he chuckled again and Namjoon pointed to the present.

“Verbally.”, Seokjin added, rising an eyebrow and Namjoon just gave him his most love drunken smile, uttering a deep “I love you.” that made Seokjin’s heart melt. “Ok, that counts.”, the older one laughed before unwrapping the package. His fingers were itching to know what’s inside and Namjoon could have possibly gotten him. As the yellow plastic folder came into view, the older one frowned hard. He could see papers and chuckled, thinking Namjoon actually wrote him a love story to gift him for christmas.

However, as the opening of the folder revealed a picture frame with a bright star filled sky, a crystal star embedded into the paper, and the letters ‘NJ-1611’ written on it, his jaw dropped. “You… you got me a star?”, Seokjin asked, fingertips running over the glass of the framed certificate. “It has our names in it… or a combination of it. NJ is short for NamxJin, or NamJin.”, the younger one explained as Jin couldn’t take his eyes off the paper, looking to get to know every little detail. “The 1611, well… that’s November 16th, where we had our first kiss.”

As Seokjin unpacked the rest, he found some handwritten notes stapled together, on top of each paper the title ‘Moments that I fell in love with you’ and the first paper was labeled ‘Chapter one’. Namjoon wrote about how he felt the night after he met Jin. He couldn’t sleep and thought about how cute he was.

Chapter two was about their first date when Namjoon picked Seokjin up and they had dinner somewhere on a parkbench. Chapter three was about the times they kept hanging out and where Seokjin would cook for him and Namjoon would read him from a book he liked. How they enjoyed being together. Chapter five was about how Namjoon fell in love when Jin nursed him back to health, how he was sick and how he still felt sorry for making them leave the party.

The older one’s heart was racing and he could feel his eyes getting teary. This is the most romantic thing anyone has ever done, he thought, skimming through the pages before he got to the one with their first kiss. How Namjoon felt fireworks going off. How, despite the first attempt being clumsy, it wasn’t anywhere near awkward. The ink on each page differed and Seokjin knew that Namjoon must have written those down at any moment, grabbing any kind of writing utensil that was close.

Jin came to the chapter where Namjoon wrote about pleasing Seokjin with his lips for the first time. How he felt no shame and how he enjoyed the older one’s moans. Re-reading it, Seokjin could feel a hot temperature rise inside him, making him feel like his head was steaming. But the thing that caught him off guard was the last chapter. “The moment you opened your christmas present…?”, the older one read out loud and Namjoon smiled wide, biting his lip to contain his smile.

The moment you opened your christmas present was so exciting. I wanted to know how you would react. What you’d expect. If you would like it. My head went crazy with all those thoughts, but seeing you smile and read the letters just makes me fall more and more in love with you. What did I do to deserve you? I don’t know. The way your lips move when you read along the lines is just too tempting to resist. I want to kiss you forever and hold your forever. Now, look at that! We have a star to call our own, even though you will always shine brighter than any star for me. I love you.

The pages afterwards were blank and Seokjin frowned, looking up at Namjoon with wonder and excitement. “For the future.”, he explained and closed the pages. “As a reminder that I don’t plan to stop falling in love with you.”, he said and the corniness made Seokjin’s heart jump. “Come here, Joonie.”, Seokjin said before gliding his hand over Namjoon’s cheek, pulling him close for a kiss full of passion and tenderness.

Namjoon was so happy. He was happy with the overall situation. He was happy with Seokjin’s reaction. He was happy to be waking up next to him the next morning. As their lips parted, the older one told Namjoon to wait and got up to grab a small package that he hid in a drawer. “Another present? But I already got-”, Namjoon said but Seokjin did not let him continue his words. “I know, I know. But I also know that you have another present for me too.”, Jin smiled and Namjoon looked to the side, acting flustered. “I don’t know what you mean.”, the younger one lied and Seokjin pulled something out of his pocket.

“This one fell out of your pocket earlier. You didn’t notice.”, he said, holding up a condom that had a dumb christmas pun written on the wrapper. Let me jingle your bells. Classic. Seokjin put the plastic wrapper away and handed Namjoon his present. “You didn’t have to-”, Namjoon started but he could see in Seokjin’s eyes what he wanted to say. I know I don’t have to, but I want to. That’s what his eyes were saying. Eyes, that Namjoon could get lost in.

He tore at the edges of the wrapping paper until he managed to free what was inside. A cardboard box. And inside that cardboard box, were a pair of gloves. “Merry Christmas.”, Seokjin whispered as Namjoon just smiled down onto the gloves. He wouldn’t dare to forget his gloves ever again, even though he liked holding hands with the older one to keep them warm.

“Now.”, Seokjin almost purred and let his hand slide down to caress his lover’s knee. “Will you help me blow out the candles?”, he asked, voice as soft and innocent as a bell ring but the echo carried a much more sultry meaning. “If you help me get out of those clothes afterwards.”, Namjoon proposed and gave Seokjin a wink. “Deal.”, the older one agreed and within a few moments the lights vanished, just like the two love birds did into the bedroom. Namjoon fell in love like he fell asleep - in the arms of Seokjin - in this december night.

The next morning, he would ask himself, what he did to deserve this. Even more, he would ask himself… he would ask: “How do you think all this started?” Namjoon couldn't explain this to himself...

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