#they have an open relationship and are in love but bella’s need for freedom takes a toll on the marriage bc morty leans monogamous

[llamasgotoheaven]

This is extremely canon behavior

THE SIMS (2000) dev. Maxis

[tojisangrylittlething]

three's a crowd - pm!dazai x reader

summary: you and dazai get yourself into some trouble, but that's the least of your problems at the moment.

wc: 1k

warnings: canon typical violence, cursing, some torture but nothing graphic

a/n: i recently watched a space western called firefly (really good go watch it) and found some inspiration. also this has been sitting in my drafts for a min i'm sorry if it sucks.

osamu dazai seems to really enjoy being the bane of your existence.

the deal was supposed to be easy. just charm the dealer and move on with your day. dazai insisted on coming, but him and his big mouth landed you both in trouble.

now here you are, bound to a table with the most insufferable being right next to you.

"ah, isn't this great bella? just you, me, and our torturer."

you looked to your right and dazai has his eyes closed, with a wide grin placed on his lips. you then look in front of you, seeing a large man in all black. he wears an empty expression, holding a remote in his large hands.

you rolled your eyes at his antics, growing more irritated by the second. "maybe if i was with chuuya this wouldn't have happened."

the man in black must have pressed the remote again, as you and dazai feel the electrical current surging throughout your bodies.

the grin slightly falters, but he brings it back to its full glory. "if you were with chuuya, you'd be too busy drooling over each other. seems to me you two just need to hook up and get it over with."

you two have been fighting for a few days. chuuya had stopped by your apartment just to drink some wine and catch up. you both have been friends for quite a while. you had been very busy with handling some business for the port mafia. you wanted to relax and dazai was off who knows where. you were laughing at something chuuya had said, and in he walks. eyes wide and an unsettling smile on his face.

"if you wanted to fuck chuuya, you just had to say so bella. here's a tip, he likes when you pull on his hair."

doesn't he trust you? how can he not see that you are absolutely feral for him? it actually hurts to think that is the conclusion he jumped to.

and at this moment? you just want to hurt him back.

"you know what? fine. if we make out of this-"

"when we make it out of this." dazai says, cutting you off.

glaring at him, you say "if we make it out of this, i'm going straight to chuuya's."

your bodies begin to buzz again. it hurts all over and you feel dazed. the torturer is watching you both, slightly confused by your odd...relationship.

dazai laughs at that, "oh yeah? is that so? what are you gonna have poor, ole chuuya do bella?"

you can feel the maniacal smirk growing on your face. you turn to him again, "i'm gonna drag him to bed and claim him. from what i remember, you seemed to love when i did that for you darling."

dazai finally looks over at you. his eyes are cold and empty, but that stupid smirk doesn't leave his face. "oh that's what you have planned? he's gonna fucking love that." he turns to the torturer, "do you see how they hurt me so?" the man just stares blankly at him.

you heard a loud thump behind the door. all three of you simultaneously look at the door.

the door then bursts open. in walks chuuya and there are a couple of bodies at his feet. the relief you felt was an understatement. you sighed in relief, and dazai spoke up "look bella! it's your boyfriend!"

chuuya rolls his eyes at dazai and says, "nice to see you too, you mackerel."

as chuuya walks forward, the man in black takes a step towards him. chuuya just raises his eyebrow at that, tossing a bag at the man that you just now saw. "this should be enough for them."

the man picks up the bag and opens it. inside, there is hundreds of dollars. enough money to secure your freedom.

the man grunts, "this is enough for one, but not both."

your face does drop at that. no matter how mad you may be with dazai, you would never want him to experience this. with your ability, it's not as bad for you. you can take the pain. you look at chuuya, "please, chuuya, don't be stupid about th-"

"them. i choose them." chuuya says very confidently.

you and the torturer's eyes widen.

"chuuya what the fu-"

"i made a promise." chuuya walks over and begins to undo your restraints. when your arms are released from above your head, your body collapsed. all the pain and exhaustion from using your ability taking over.

chuuya caught you, throwing an arm of yours around his shoulder.

"take care of my bella, she's important." you look up and see dazai looking at chuuya. the words he said were light, but the look on his face was dark.

"i will dazai, they're safe with me."

with that, you and chuuya begin to walk off. you couldn't help yourself from turning to face dazai once more. "but what about you?"

dazai lets out a hearty laugh. he looks at you with a loving gaze.

"i'll see you soon bella. still gotta know how chuuya takes to you topping him."

you immediately feel your cheeks start to warm up. your eyes widening and mouth dropping to the floor.

"as if they could." chuuya says, half dragging your body out of the room.

--

bonus:

"how many times do i have to fucking tell you 'samu, it's you! always been you." you seem to be screaming at the top of your lungs at this point.

your wrists are pinned above your head, sweat and tears pouring down your face. the air in the room is heavy and slightly sticky from the activities you and your boyfriend are getting up to.

osamu looks down at you with a playful grin, his eyes, however, say something different.

"i don't know my sweet, sweet baby. i think you're going to have to be louder than that."

[katatty]

Recap: Pleasantview Round 5 (Summer)

The romance of Spring certainly went to a few heads in Pleasantview - the suburb is in the midst of quite the baby boom. But now Summer is here, and school is out! Parents are scrambling to sort out childcare, teenagers are reveling in their freedom, and with the sun shining, the mood in the neighbourhood is pretty great.

But are the families as happy as they seem? Or are some on the brink of collapse? What secrets lurk in their hearts?

The round began with newcomers Tiffany Sampson and Kevin Beare getting settled in. They adopted a puppy, got new jobs, and got to know the neighbours.

Then as Tiffany finished her first day of work in the Education career, she learned she was already pregnant!

They had a quick, slightly rushed wedding before the baby arrived.

Baby Harvey was born, but it already looks like she might be expecting again.

The round ended on a happy note, with the couple already nicely established as a family in town with a few friends!

The Dreamer family started out just as well, but things quickly started to deteriorate.

Due to a combination of bad mental health, recurring nightmares and possible haunting, Brandi Broke isn’t in a good place. Her relationship with Darren suffers for it, too.

Meanwhile Cassandra’s marriage with Don is falling apart, and Darren can’t help being sympathetic. Perhaps a little too much so.

Mia Broke, obsessed with the paranormal, gets herself abducted by aliens, much to her mom’s dismay.

She’s also eager to discuss her theories about the spooky sounds in their yard, but Brandi shuts it down.

Mia goes on a date with Benedick Monty, but it’s kind of a mixed bag.

Back home, Mia and Darren eventually talk about the possible hauntings at home. He admits to her seeing Darleen’s ghost, from time to time.

Brandi also opens up to Mia about her father, Skip.

And Mia is vindicated to finally some ghosts herself!

I played the Lotharios next since I was interested in what was going on with Cassandra.

Cassandra and Don’s relationship has had its ups and downs - neither of them has been 100% faithful, but they’re dealing with it. Maybe? Between raising the twins and focusing on their careers there hasn’t been a ton of time for marriage counselling.

Don’s been feeling a bit isolated, recently. Outside of his family and his coworkers, he doesn’t really have a lot of friends. That’s been deliberate, to an extent. The fewer people around him, the fewer temptations to stray outside of the marriage.

For the most part, it’s been working. But a chance meeting with Nina Caliente has him feeling… confused.

The kids are doing fine, the parents not so much.

She’s always in low aspiration, lately, ever since her Dad passed away. It’s been hard getting on her feet since then, and Don going on about needing “me time” doesn’t help. She needs his support right now more than ever! Why doesn’t he get that?

They don’t talk about it, but both of them are feeling very alone, and starting to lose faith in each other...

Meanwhile, the boys age up. Bernado’s a popularity sim and Cassimiro’s knowledge.

Eventually, things in the marriage finally explode and Cassandra tells Don about Darren, trying to get a rise out of him.

Don immediately retaliates by woohooing with Sharon Wirth on a grocery-run.

After a cool-off day, they agree to break things off, and Don moves out.

He moves in, temporarily, with Bella. Who is insistant that he and Cassie try and patch things up!

He’s more interested in exploring new options, though.

Bella is devestated to lose her job as a party guest.

Meanwhile Oliver Goth (Dina and Mortimer’s son) gets his first kiss with Ariel Capp! Later he goes on a date with Tommy Ottomas, too.

At one of Bella’s parties, Cassandra and Don keep things civil, but Cassandra evidently isn’t doing well.

Bella goes on a date with Gilbert Jacquet. It’s not really all that serious between them, and Bella still misses Mortimer dreadfully, but Gilbert is charming and handsome enough to take her mind of her worries.

Things with Bella and Don also seem to be getting a little heavy, and Don concludes he needs to move out before things cross a line. Bella reluctantly agrees, it’s obvious her plan to get him and Cassie back together hasn’t worked

Don moves to Strangetown!

Next up are the Ramaswami family, a nice breath of fresh air after all the drama.

Priya befriends some of the other mothers in town, becoming especially close to Kaylynn.

And baby Ravi gows into maybe the coolest toddler ever?

Sanjay survives a near death experience.

And Priya finds out she’s expecting again!

Divorced once and with the girls having just graduated college, Daniel Pleasant didn’t expect to be engaged again with a kid on the way as he approached retirement age, doing it all over again. He’s far from unhappy about it, though. Mary Sue always had an independent streak, but Kaylynn adores him. Maybe it’s a bit selfish, but it feels so good to be needed.

Kaylynn knows some people in the neighbourhood look down on her, think her naive, call her a homewrecker… that’s fine. If they worked as a cleaner for years and years maybe they’d consider packing it in and settling into an easy life, too. What’s wrong with wanting to be taken care of?

Notably (and much to my horror) during the Pleasant round, Brandi and John start up their affair again.

Kaylynn finally gives birth, to a baby boy they call Jeffery Pleasant, after Daniel’s father. Daniel’s really pleased!

Jennifer’s eager to meet her new nephew. She and Kaylynn get off to a rocky start, but eventually start to bond.

She’s closest friends with Brandi Broke, though. The two have become inseperable, with Brandi visiting all the time.

Daniel invites both of the girls over to meet their little brother, but Angela is the only twin who shows. Whether that’s because they have a better relationship, or because Lilith was just busy is anyone’s guess.

Then it turns out Kaylynn’s pregnant again already?

Kaylynn and Daniel tie the knot!

Nina and Don also reconcile at the wedding.

Kaylynn gives birth to another baby boy, Luke!

And Jeff ages upp!

Daniel ages up, too. It’s finally time for him to retire, soon...

Daniel’s definitely a bit of a dirty old man, but Kaylynn doesn’t seem entirely oblivious to that side of him, and figures as long as she keeps his needs met they should be fine. We’ll see if that holds up.

Then it was time to catch up with the Shoreharts, who moved here form Widespot for a fresh start.

A retired chef, Sandy’s enjoying her retirement a lot more than she ever enjoyed being a stay at home mom. Granted, all this free time has her a little restless, but it’s nothing a bit of time outdoors and excercise can’t fix. She hopes.

They were honestly pretty chill! Rhett’s taken to the whole marriage thing suprisingly well, for a romance sim. Turns out, as long as he’s getting lovin’ on a regular basis he doesn’t really care if it’s with one woman or several. It’s never boring with Sandy, and he intends to keep her as happy as he can for the rest of her days. That’ll show her shit-heel of an ex-husband.

Mostly they just spend a lot of time with family.

Sandy’s very generious with the backrubs, but nothing goes too far.

Mimi is definitely at least a little anxious about her parents’ marriage though, because she spends some of the round reading up on Couple’s Councelling.

Then it’s time for her to age up! She grows into a rather cute romance sim.

Then at the party the house of cards starts to crumble, as Sandy gives her ex-husband Hamilton a kiss, right in front of Mimi and Rocky.

Mimi agrees not to tell her Dad, but isn’t happy. She spends a lot of time out of the house.

With Sandy keeping her indescretion quiet, I’m not sure what they have in store in the future!

Regardless, next are the Ramirez family.

Tessa’s spent a lot of time looking afte rthe baby and she’s sick of it! So she spends some time Downtown with friends.

She later takes Bernardo on a date, although he’s not sure if he likes her as more than a friend. Bernardo likes the idea of falling in love with Tessa, who he’s always admired! But he’s a little hesitant at the same time, especially with his parents’ divorce still being so recent.

Checo has a bit of a wandering eye, but mostly he keeps himself in check.

Checo might be a bit of a flirt, but at least he’s not a hypocrite. When Lisa was dancing with Skye he didn’t even bat an eye. Or maybe he just doesn’t see an old man as much of a threat…

Ugh, God, I forgot this happened

Baby Sofia grew up super cute!

Anyway, that’s all from them!

The Oldies weren’t too eventful, mostly just focused on hobbies!

They did finally meet Mary’Sue’s new partner, which went... poorly.

But they did have a nice meeting with their grandaughter later, and a fun night out!

Then it was the Burbs! John’s recent indescretions with Brandi aside, things seemed to be going well.

At least, until he made out with Coral Oldie :/

Oblivious to thins, Jennifer was starting to trust John again.

They had dinner with Jen’s brother Dan and his new wife...

And Jennifer discovered she was pregnant again!

Lucy headed away for college...

And baby James grew up, leaving the Burb round complete and Pleasantview all done & dusted!

[damieclipse]

i don't know if you're into au, but could you maybe write one where one of them are famous and because of that they have to keep their relationship as a secret? Also, thank you for all your fics. i love all of them 😘

Thank you so much!! Here it is, sorry in advance.

Maya wakes up in a cold bed, again. It's not too early in the morning but early enough for her to sigh seeing no sight of her girlfriend. She can hear noises in the kitchen and it hurts her when she can't even find it in herself to smile at Carina's morning singing. She's exhausted.

The blonde decides a shower would be good for her before she has to face reality again. She strips down her shirt and gets into the water, letting her thoughts wonder.

And they always wonder to unwanted thoughts.

It's hard for Maya, dealing with all of those negative feelings towards her relationship that was once the most joyful thing she's ever had.

It all happened so fast between them, Carina had been in the United States for a few months because of a tv show job she's gotten there. They met when Maya, a firefighter with almost no experience, was assigned to the set Carina was filming at, to make sure everything was safe. They hit it off from the begging, Maya completely enchanted by the Italian's - at the time - broken english, and the way her smiled would light up the whole room. Maya invited the brunette to the bar and the rest was history.

The blonde was madly in love after so little time, and Carina felt the same. There were kisses and promises and so many shared memories and then after four months the Italian had to go back to her country and it felt like Maya's paradise was being ripped away from her. When Carina invited her to come along, coming with her was one of the easiest decisions Maya has had to make, there was nothing holding her in America, no family contact, almost no friends. And firefighting? It didn't make her half as happy as Carina. It was crazy, she knew that, but she was crazy for the Italian and it made sense in that moment.

But when they got to Italy everything changed, the freedom they had when dating in America vanished. Carina had a solid actress career, and Italy wasn't as open to gay relationships as the US, they had to keep it low. And Maya was fine with that, she liked to keep things private, but after three years of not being able to kiss the love of her life outside the apartment... Maya was tired.

She loved Carina just the same, love wasn't the problem, and she knew the Italian loved her back. But Carina also loved her career, and Maya didn't want to take that away from her. She just didn't know what to do. Being hidden wasn't enough anymore.

The door of the bathroom opens and Maya is pulled out of her thoughts.

"Buongiorno bella." Carina walks in with her beautiful aura and dazzling smile. "You should've eaten breakfast before showering, the toasts will be cold."

Maya turns the shower off, a small smile on her face and doesn't bother to hide her body from her girlfriend, who looks at it like it was the most beautiful work of art she's ever seen.

"così bella." The italian sighs, pulling Maya's naked body to herself. She kisses the blonde slowly, her hands going up and down Maya's waist. It's nothing if not a genuine gesture they are so used to share with each other, there's no second intentions, just pure love at that moment... But only behind closed doors.

And that's why it's so hard for Maya, she gets lost in tiny moments, shared between her and Carina as if it's the moment she realized she was in love all over again, it's delightful, like finally reaching the end of a run. But the hapiness lasted so little, because there was always another run, and another sweet moment and then more running. And running for only a few minutes of hapiness at the end of it was not enough. Not anymore.

She found a home in Carina, years ago, but somehow lost herself along the way. And she didn't know how to get it back. Not like this. But what was the alternative?

"Do you have to go to work today?" Maya asks when Carina finally lets her go.

The blonde doesn't wait for a response as she leaves the bathroom, finding clothes to spend the day.

"No, not today."

Maya senses eyes are watching her as she dresses up and it's not longe before arms are hugging her from behind, and she's lost in Carina's scent again. Everything is okay. It will be okay.

Carina turns her around and simply looks into her eyes, hands caressing her neck. Maya looks back and all she can see are brown orbits filled with love.

"Ti amo, you know that right?"

"I love you too Car." Maya smiles, it's impossible not to, that is the love of her life right there.

Carina pulls her in for another kiss and Maya lets herself be controlled by the Italian. They end up in bed, Carina kissing her neck just the way she knows Maya likes it, aggressive and sweet, sucking and biting.

"We need to talk." Carina says between kisses and all Maya's body goes tense. She's heard that before.

"About what?"

"Can I keep kissing you for a few more minutes?" Carina almost begs and Maya frowns but nods. It's not like she's eager to break their bubble either.

Maya pulls her girlfriend back to her lips and it tastes like home, like it always has, and like it always will taste. She forgets about their needing to talk and lets herself feel completed by Carina's presence, Carina's body.

It's hours later when Maya finally leaves the room for the first time that day, followed by Carina minutes after. She eats cold french toasts and they don't taste as good, but Maya doesn't think it's because they are cold.

"Bambina." Carina calls from the couch and Maya sighs.

Another long conversation she thinks.

"Yeah?" She asks, not turning around as she washes the dishes she just used.

"I got a job."

"That's good, love."

"Yeah... But we'll have to reschedule out trip to America."

Maya closes her eyes. No, not this. Not the only thing she was excited about.

"Carina..."

"Look I know okay? I know you reconnected with Mason and you wanna visit and meet his baby, I tried changing the dates but they wouldnt let me, I'm sorry, it's just for two months later. We could invite them here you know."

"No Carina we couldn't, because your agent won't even let me enter somedays because he's scared people will get suspicious."

"Maya..." Carina comes to her and tries to hug her but the blonde backs away.

"No. You know I do want to visit Mason and meet my niece, I do. But this isn't the only reason this trip is important you know."

"I know Maya..." Carina sighs, she knows how their hidden relationship is taking a toll on her girlfriend, and she feels it too. Of course she wished she could kiss Maya whenever and wherever she wants, but she feels trapped, it's both of her dreams collapsing together and it's not the way she imagined it would go.

"I haven't kissed you outside of this apartment in so long, and even here I have go be careful because 'hey Maya someone might be watching from the window', this is exhausting Carina. I wanna take you out for dinner and hold your hands, I wanna sit by your side and feed you pasta, dammit I wanna propose to you without thinking 'well she won't wear the ring because people will ask'. I'm exhausted."

Carina is in tears and everything in Maya begs her to go and hold the other woman. She knows Carina isn't exactly to blame, it's how the industry works. But she's not part of the industry; only Carina is, and she doesn't want to be trapped anymore.

"Bambina I'm sorry, I don't... I don't know what to say."

"Well don't. But I'm going back to the US next month, with or without you. I'm sorry, but I need a break from this. I need this."

Carina nods. There's nothing she can do, she can't force Maya to wait, not when she knows how much all of this hurts the blonde.

And a month after, Maya is getting into a plane, alone, tears in her eyes and a ring she wished she gave to Carina left on the nightstand in their apartment.

(was it supposed to be sad? I liked this one a lot so if anyone is interest I could continue in AO3)

[midnightsvns]

Now I see daylight — a Twilight fanfic

summary: Edward spent his life so long in a ninety-year midnight. Now, all he sees is daylight. A short story about Nessie’s first prom. “How could I ever tell her how grateful I was? Grateful that she could always see past the worst of me and my mistakes. Grateful that she had unlimited selflessness, giving us the family I’d envisioned for her, but thought impossible for me. Grateful that she was all too happy to be the first and only love of my existence. Grateful that cruel fate, after our various ordeals, had turned merciful to bring us to this heaven.” words: 8,280.

AN: so. i was absolutely wrecked after reading the very sad note on which midnight sun ended. to lick my wounds, i wrote this fic, set 12 years after breaking dawn, on the day of nessie’s prom. 404 plot not found just fluff of edward & bella being happy with their now adult daughter. title/summary inspired by the t.s. song daylight. full text under the cut!

Bella and I walked with hands intertwined in the woods behind our house, on our way to the cottage a few miles away that served as our daughter Renesmee’s “room.” When she turned seven, we decided she deserved a space of her own, a space that was removed from her supernatural family who could hear every move she made even if she had a whole floor of the house to herself. It was not unlike the first cottage the three of us had lived in together, back in Forks, in the first year of Bella and I’s marriage. To me, those days seemed as close as yesterday—in reality, twelve years had passed like the blink of an eye. Our daughter was all grown-up now, about to graduate high school for the first time, and today was her very first prom.

We walked at human pace, enjoying the lights and the sounds of early morning in the forest. Before Bella, I would have hated moving at such a glacial pace, always wanting to reach my destination as fast as possible, never lingering under the sunlight long enough to contemplate the diamond-like sparkling of my marble skin. A constant reminder of my inhumanity. But now I relished having the chance to see my wife in the light of day. I knew that all the poets and philosophers who, for two thousand of years, had tried to define beauty, to describe it, had irrevocably failed—because none of them had been fortunate enough to witness Bella smiling and shining under the golden rays of sunlight. I squeezed her hand and chuckled to myself.

Bella, of course, noticed my jocularity. “What are you thinking about?” she wondered.

“I thought that was my line,” I replied, grinning at her. Bella easily controlled her gift now, raising and lowering her mental shields at will. Except in special moments of communication, her shields were always up. She could maintain shields around other people, too, granting peace for me and privacy for my family. The quiet that resulted inside my head was a balm; I could be thankful for it for a hundred years and it would not be enough.

She sighed, and her eyes were suddenly downcast. “Well, I’m glad one of us is cheerful enough to laugh today.” She stopped walking, let go of my hand, and sought shelter under the shadow of a large evergreen tree. I regretted seeing her move away from the sunshine.

Her mournful tone surprised me. “What’s wrong, love? You’ve been looking forward to Renesmee’s prom for weeks now.” It was all I heard the ladies at the house discussing as of late. Alice, our very own literal visionary, was making all their dresses, works of art that were sure to rival even the most revered of Paris’ haute couture scene. Rosalie was browsing our family’s sizable collection of jewelry—composed of heirlooms from our human lives and the very many anniversary gifts from over the decades—for the perfect sets of accessories that would go with Alice’s creations. Esme was renovating and redecorating the front room, the staircase, and the porch, in preparation for today’s sure-to-be endless photo opportunities.

Bella looked up at me, her golden eyes looking regretful. “I just… can’t help but be a little sad that she’s grown up so fast. She’s only twelve, Edward. I spent more time as a clumsy, awkward human child than I’ve spent as her mother,” Bella said, sighing again. “And now she’s graduating and going off to college for the first time? She’s not an adult! How are we even sure she’s fit to be by herself in the human world already? How is she gonna eat? How will she hunt? What if she needs us, or she gets hurt and Carlisle can’t get to her in time? She can’t just go to a human doctor!” Her voice got more and more agitated with every worry she voiced. “And what if she starts dating? And she doesn’t tell us because we’re not there?! She says she’s not interested in anyone romantically now, boys or otherwise, but it’s her first four years in college! She’s bound to catch the sights of some… some no-good jerk who—”

“Stop, Bella,” I said gently, interrupting her before she could spiral any further. I had to resist the urge to laugh at her tirade. It reminded me of the time I went on a very similar, equally anxious rant. Emmett had thought I was a crazy person, worrying about the myriad things that could wipe the human girl I loved out of existence. This time, though, these worries were much easier for me to assuage than when I was fretting over Bella’s mortality and her uncanny ability to attract danger.

I joined her under the cover of the tree and held her marble face in my hands. “Love, I understand wholly all of your anxieties. They’re mine, too. But we need to put a significant amount of trust and faith in our daughter if we want to stay sane during the next four years,” I said earnestly, cracking a little smile, and then started addressing Bella’s concerns one at a time.

“I’m also sad that it has been just twelve short years, and already, we have to let her go. And as much as we may not like it, she is an adult now. She has been for five years. I know she grew up too fast, but if that is the small sacrifice that makes the miracle of her existence possible, then so be it. And she’s had no problems being around humans since she started high school with us when she was eight. As for her eating habits, well, I am worried about the amount of junk food she’ll consume once she is left unsupervised. And she doesn’t need to hunt as frequently as we do…. Once, maybe twice, a month, she can come back here and any one of us would love to go hunting with her. She is also not so fragile that she would ever need the care of any other doctors than Carlisle, Rosalie, or me. As for her first romantic relationship, well... she’s smart, strong-willed. We have to trust that we have raised her well enough that she’ll be responsible, that she’ll know how to protect her heart, and that she’ll be comfortable enough to turn to us for any questions she might have. You are a good mother, Bella. You raised an amazing young woman.” She looked as though she was about to argue, but she said nothing. She must have lowered her shield because I heard her thoughts instead: We raised an amazing young woman. You, Carlisle, Esme, Rose, Alice, Emmett, and Jasper… Even Charlie, Sue, Jacob, and Seth. It really does take a village. Her smile was wry.

I shook my head and smiled back at her. She was still bad at taking compliments. “We just have to trust Ness, love. As much as I would never want to see her hurt, we have to let her make her own mistakes. To let her take risks. And we have to give her freedom while she still thinks it’s ours to grant. If she thinks she’s not ready for this yet, or becomes overwhelmed in any way, she knows she can come back home at any time. All we can do is be there for her, and as long as she knows she’s not alone in this, that she never has to carry the world on her shoulders because we’re supposed to carry part of it for her… She will be fine.”

I looked straight into my wife’s eyes, still holding her face, hoping I had eased her anxieties a little. She visibly relaxed, then placed her hands over mine.

“You know, I really hate it when you make sense,” Bella stated matter-of-factly, glaring at me and pouting a little. I laughed and gave her a soft kiss on the cheek. Then I pulled her close to my side and led us back on the way to Renesmee’s cottage. If, thirteen years ago, anyone—even Alice—had told me that someday I would be trying to soothe Bella after a bout of anxiety instead of the other way around, I would have laughed in their face.

We made it to the cottage in companionable silence, and Bella’s mood seemed cheerier than before, back to being excited for the day’s events. She knocked on the door, calling for Nessie to wake up, but our daughter opened the door in a flash, greeting us with a chipper hello and a wave to indicate that we should let ourselves in.

“Good morning, Ness. You’re up early,” I commented. Not that our daughter was a late sleeper, but she was also not what one would call a morning person.

“I’m very well-rested, thank you,” she said, walking to the couch in the middle of the cottage’s main living area and plopping down onto it.

“How many hours did you sleep last night?” I asked, suspicious. Half-human, half-vampire hybrid though she was, Carlisle’s recommendation was still at least seven hours of sleep a night, and she often ignored it.

“Seven,” she replied too fast. I raised an eyebrow.

“Okay, six. Maybe five total…” she grimaced, sheepish now. “I was reading books! And I finished a movie.” I was unhappy to hear it. We really didn’t have an exact number of how many hours of sleep she needed each night, but I was sure five wasn’t enough for anyone, human or otherwise. I shook my head and sat next to her on the couch.

The cottage was a cozy place, with a kitchenette in the main room, one bedroom and a small bathroom down a narrow hallway. The main area was where Nessie spent most of her time, a rectangular room with big windows that let in a generous amount of natural light. The wide wall in front of the couch served as the canvas for a mural of the turquoise sea and white-sand beach at Isle Esme, painted from memory by Bella and Renesmee. The three of us had spent two weeks there a couple of years ago to celebrate Nessie’s birthday and my tenth wedding anniversary with Bella. It was my favorite painting in the world.

On the eastern wall was a bay window, Renesmee’s favorite reading nook, flanked by two tall bookshelves. And in front of the couch was a low coffee table, cluttered with books, stacks of paper, journals, pens, paints and paintbrushes, canvasses, coffee mugs, and a laptop. I sighed. The organized chaos, as Ness often referred to it, reminded me much of her mother’s old room at the Swan residence. Bella started tidying up the table immediately, replacing books onto the shelves and rearranging the mess on the table. I turned my attention to the kitchenette’s dirty dishes and the haphazardly discarded clothes on the couch, shaking my head at the untidiness. She spent her days with us either at school or at the main house, and sometimes even slept there when she felt like it. How could one girl create so much disarray after one night?

“Mom, Dad, stop it, I’ll do that later…” Nessie admonished us halfheartedly, but we were done cleaning up before she finished speaking the sentence.

“Did you already have breakfast, honey?” Bella asked.

Ness nodded and grinned. “I had cereal and two Pop-Tarts.”

Wonderful. Clearly she knew how to make healthy choices. I almost wished for the time before she had outgrown her distaste for human food. At least on a diet of animal blood, we knew she was getting some nutrients.

Bella rolled her eyes, although I knew she wasn’t really annoyed. “Esme will make you eat some fruit at the house. Are you ready to go now? Alice wants to do a final fitting of your dress, just in case she needs to make any changes.”

“It’s too bad Aunt Alice can’t see me in her visions. She could just decide to make any changes and then know which ones are right,” Nessie mused, then shook her head and bounded up from the couch, walking quickly down the hallway and into her bedroom. She came out a second later, hands deftly fastening a necklace on the nape of her neck. It was the necklace Rosalie had given her as a present for her birthday last year, a thin platinum chain and an oval pendant with the family crest on it. We filed out of the cottage, and Bella locked the door behind her.

The three of us walked together, Nessie in the middle. I asked her what books she was reading last night that she had gotten so little sleep. Instead of communicating verbally, she held my hand and showed me.

I started seeing her memories from only a few hours ago, implanted into my mind as seamlessly as though they were my own. I saw her reading all seven books of C.S. Lewis’ Chronicles of Narnia series and watching the first film adaptation. I saw how much she’d enjoyed them. Then, I saw her thoughts on the character Aslan, the wise talking lion and savior of Narnia. She admired him, his kindness and wisdom and compassion…. Suddenly, I saw my own face mixed in with images of the lion. She was trying to tell me the lion reminded her of me.

It shocked me. I’d enjoyed the world of Narnia at the time they were published and became widely popular in the 1950s, and even Bella had told me it was one of her favorite book series. As a lonely immortal, I’d always taken comfort in the fact that I had an Aslan-like figure in my life to look up to. My father, Carlisle. It never occurred to me to think that I could ever fill that role for someone else.

I must be doing something right, I marveled to myself. If Renesmee could liken me to someone who reminded me so much of Carlisle, then perhaps fatherhood wasn’t as lost on me as I had so often felt it was. It was like I was walking on a cloud, an invisible weight lifted off my shoulders. I wrapped my arm around Nessie as we walked, trying to let her know how much I appreciated the privilege of her sharing her thoughts with me. And then she surprised us by speaking in a serious tone.

She moved away from under my arm and moved a few paces ahead, turning around so she could face us. She walked backwards as she talked, her footing steady and sure. “Momma, Daddy, I don’t think I’ve thanked either of you yet… for allowing me to go and study on my own. I know you’ve always tried to let me have a normal childhood, to make sure I never missed out on anything. I love living with you guys. I love talking to Grandpa Carlisle about history and art. I love helping Grandma work on houses. I love shopping and appreciating fashion with Aunt Alice and Aunt Rose. I love playing chess with Uncle Jasper and Uncle Emmett. I love our piano lessons, Daddy, and our two-person exclusive book club, Momma. I love going back to Forks on holidays to visit Grandpa Charlie. I love our baseball games. But now I’m ready to experience the world for myself. I know it must be hard to let me go and that you’re scared for me. I’m scared, too….”

If my heart were still alive, it might have grown in size from the joy I felt. Renesmee rarely addressed us this way anymore. It was always Mom and Dad or Edward and Bella, if we were in public. It carried me back to the days when she was still just a little child. A rapidly growing, highly intelligent child, but still our little child. She was always so perceptive; it was as though she’d sensed the essence of the conversation Bella and I had had before we reached the cottage, and this sober declaration was her way of telling us she understood.

“You have nothing to thank us for, sweetheart,” I said quickly, at the same time that Bella hurried to ask Nessie what she was afraid of, concern in her voice.

Our daughter blew out a long breath. “I’m scared of living alone, of being completely responsible for myself. But I’m really excited about it, too, and most of the time the excitement overpowers any doubts I have. I’m certain I wanna do this, and don’t they always say that something isn’t worth doing if you’re not at least a little bit afraid?” she asked, her smile reaching her deep brown eyes.

Bella paused and left my side to grasp our daughter by the shoulders. “All we want, Nessie, all we will ever want, is your happiness. And we want you to find out what that means for you on your own terms. If you decide tomorrow that you’d be happy never going to college at all, none of us will argue with your decision. But I can see how sure you are about going. I can’t promise you that I won’t be worried sick and that I won’t be calling you multiple times a day until you’re very, very annoyed with me… But I know you can take care of yourself now, and I can’t wait to see what you do next, baby.” Bella’s lovely voice sounded assured, no trace of the anxiety she’d confided in me just moments earlier. This was what I meant whenever I told Bella she was a good mother, and seeing her in action never failed to earn my awe.

“Thank you, Momma,” Renesmee said sincerely, circling her arms around Bella, and Bella hugged her back. “And I promise I will never be annoyed by your calls, even if you call a hundred times a day,” she said, grinning. “I won’t ignore yours, either, Daddy.”

This made me and Bella laugh. Of course Nessie would make time to take her crazy parents’ calls. No one was sweeter than our daughter.

Their hug ended, and we kept walking. Suddenly there was a glint of mischief in Renesmee’s eyes, and then she touched my arm and Bella’s to tell us we were being challenged to a race. Before the thought was even fully communicated she had already taken off running to the house. I shook my head and chuckled as we hurried after her. She couldn’t quite run as fast as vampires, but the head start might be enough to guarantee her win.

When we reached the house, my brothers were waiting outside for us to arrive. They both had cameras in hand—Jasper a professional digital SLR and Emmett a Polaroid instant camera. With Bella around, I couldn’t hear their minds, so I raised an eyebrow at the both of them in question. What were they up to now?

“Nessie’s already in the house, you rusty old slowpokes,” Emmett said in greeting, mocking me and Bella. But mostly me. “And to think you used to be the fastest, Edward. What a fall from grace. Let me take a picture of this really embarrassing moment for you real quick.” He positioned the instant camera near my face and pressed a button, and it started whirring as it printed out the picture. He grinned and deposited it into a large red handbag, presumably Rosalie’s, that he had slung over his shoulder.

I rolled my eyes at my brother and asked what they were doing with the cameras instead of responding to Emmett’s attempts at vexing me. It was Jasper who answered. “We’re having a photography competition. Whoever contributes the most shots for Esme’s photo albums will win. She’s planning to keep one for us and one to send to Forks for Charlie, so we’ll need a lot of pictures.”

“Yeah, and the winner—who will definitely be me—gets to skip the bake sale that Esme is going to for some hospital fundraiser,” Emmett explained with an arrogant smile. I rolled my eyes again. Of course my brothers had found a way to turn this day into some kind of contest.

“Doesn’t the Polaroid give you a pretty significant disadvantage, Em?” I pointed out, wondering how much film he was lugging around in Rose’s handbag.

“Just because it’ll be more challenging doesn’t mean I can’t still win,” he replied, shrugging. “The pictures I take will be better. Plus, the easy way is overrated, don’t you think?”

Jasper shook his head at Emmett’s smugness, then told me and Bella to pose for a picture. I turned to Bella and she turned to me, and I held both of her hands. I smiled adoringly down at her as she stared back up at me with her deep, amber eyes. We weren’t looking at the cameras, but I heard the workings of the two small devices as my brothers captured the moment.

“Aww, you two are disgusting,” Emmett chuckled as Jasper showed the photograph to all of us on the camera’s tiny screen. “Esme’s going to love that one.” The Polaroid Emmett had taken was still developing, and he shoved it inside the red bag with all the others. Then they went inside to find better subjects for their contest.

Bella and I made our way inside as well. The house was alive with the whole family looking forward to tonight’s events. I heard Alice, Rosalie, and Nessie in Alice’s room, chattering and working away on their gowns. I heard Esme in the kitchen, making breakfast for Renesmee or perhaps practicing some recipes for the upcoming bake sale. I heard Jasper and Emmett running around everyone like a couple of paparazzi, taking pictures left and right. Only Carlisle was absent, hard at work at the hospital, but he’d be back in time to see us all off to prom tonight. Bella kissed my cheek in farewell before joining Nessie with her aunts upstairs.

I gravitated towards the piano, as I often did. I scanned the perfect mental repository of all the music I knew, trying out a few bars from different pieces—some my own compositions and some written by better musicians than I—but none of them spoke to me…. Until one did. I sat down and began playing the first notes of “Jupiter, the Bringer of Jollity” from Holst’s orchestral suite, The Planets. It was a piece that sounded abundantly better when played by a full orchestra, but I enjoyed it regardless. My hands glided quickly across the piano keys to produce the quick, jaunty chords of the exposition. Then the development came in ritardando, varying from the cheery main theme to take a strangely calm, nostalgic turn. Although it evoked feelings of nostalgia, it wasn’t sad. Only pensive about a time already past. The piece concluded a tempo, returning to the happy and powerful main theme. I didn’t realize how much the song reflected my mood until I was already finished playing it.

Knowing her thoughts were protected by Bella’s shield, Esme offered me her kind compliments out loud from the kitchen. “That was wonderful, Edward,” she gushed. “I have always been so fond of that piece. Please play some more, darling.” I murmured a thanks, then obliged my mother and started playing her favorite, the very song I had played for Bella the first time I brought her home to meet my family. Even though the memory was tainted by the agony and danger of the events that followed, I still looked back on it with some joy. That was the night Bella became a part of our family.

The day went on that way, calm and peaceful, everyone busy with their respective tasks. Nessie came down to join me once in the afternoon and let me hear a new composition she was working on. It was her best yet, and I told her as much. Bella came downstairs as well, listening to me play and rereading Persuasion by Jane Austen while she sat beside me on the piano bench.

Before long, it was time for us to get dressed and ready for the prom. I quickly changed into my dark brown suit. The color had been my only stipulation, the rest decided by Alice’s keen sense of fashion. Since that overcast Thursday morning—the day that had been my turn to ask questions—my favorite color had never wavered from brown. The chocolate-brown color of Bella’s human eyes was not just preserved fondly in my memories, but alive forever in Nessie, and it was beyond the bounds of possibility for me to separate such a color from the meaning of all my happiness.

After I was dressed, I tried to peek into Alice’s room to see if they were ready to go, but Alice, annoying as ever, blocked my entrance and told me to wait with Esme and Carlisle downstairs. I rolled my eyes but followed her instructions. Arguing with Alice was almost never worth it.

Carlisle was just arriving home from work right as I was coming down the stairs, and when he saw me, his eyes lit up. “Why, you look great, Edward,” he praised, setting his medical bag down on a table in the foyer. I thanked him humbly. He reached up and loosened his tie, likely more out of habit than out of a need to be more comfortable. It struck me as a very fatherly thing to do. Esme came out of the front room, greeting Carlisle with a bright smile and a quick kiss. “You’re home just in time, dear. I think the girls are almost done helping Nessie get ready.”

I snorted. At this rate, we were never going to leave the house in time. “Alice, we’ll be late!” I shouted in the direction of the stairs, knowing she could hear me perfectly.

“No, we won’t!” Alice chimed back confidently. I sighed.

Jasper and Emmett were already in their tuxedos and bounded quickly down the stairs, cameras still in hand. Rosalie was the one who joined us next, looking devastating in a burgundy mermaid dress. Emmett looked like he was about to combust. Jasper smirked at our brother’s dumbstruck expression, snapping a few pictures.

Then it was my turn to be dumbstruck as Bella started down the stairs, moving at full speed to be at my side in an instant. “Alice wouldn’t let me see Ness wearing her dress yet,” she complained, but all my attention was on her at that moment. She looked positively incredible wearing a knee-length, square-necked light azure dress, held up by thin straps with flutter sleeves and inset with a thousand little rhinestones that looked like stars. My wife could have been Selene herself, come down from the moon. I ran my fingers gently through Bella’s long, straight brown locks and pressed my palm to her cheek. And for the nth time in so many years, I was glad for the deal I’d made with Bella on our first wedding anniversary. “You look beautiful, love. Absolutely arresting,” I said honestly.

“I know,” Bella said, beaming up at me, and I laughed happily. This was our deal: whenever I told her the indisputable truth about how beautiful she looked, all she had to say in response was that she knew. In exchange, I was forbidden from spending money on gifts for her for exactly five years, and five years was such a short time for creatures such as we that the zero-gifts rule felt like it was lifted immediately. I circumvented the moratorium, anyway, by getting gifts that were for both Bella and Nessie, or both Bella and Esme…. It may not have been the fairest of contracts, but my intentions were of the purest kind. I leaned down and pulled my beautiful goddess of a wife into a deep kiss, and I felt her wide smile as her arms wrapped around my neck. We only broke away from each other when we heard Alice skipping down the stairs, dressed in a white two-piece cocktail dress that made her look like a mischievous fairy.

“Get ready, everyone!” Alice squealed, clapping her hands in anticipation. “I can’t wait to see your reactions, I know you’ll all just die.”

My sister was right. Renesmee—our only daughter, the greatest joy of our lives—stood at the top of the stairs in a gorgeous, peach pink off-shoulder gown decorated with the same little rhinestones that were on her mother’s dress and delicate leaf-patterned lace appliques, and she was a sight to die for. As she walked slowly down the stairs, one hand on the banister, Emmett and Jasper took pictures fervently, documenting the entire moment. I saw Bella press her hand to her chest, eyes soft and adoring.

“Well, how do I look?” Nessie asked when she reached the bottom of the stairs, a half-smile on her face. Her soft bronze hair fell in long, spiral waves down her shoulders, and on her neck, she still wore the necklace she’d put on this morning. She spun around in a circle, indulging the attention we lavished on her, understanding that today would not have been such a significant event for us if not for her. Esme made me, Bella, and Nessie pose for pictures by the staircase, then on the couch in the front room, and then outside on the porch. After Esme was satisfied with the pictures of the three of us, Jasper and Emmett set up a tripod and took a photo with all nine of us in the front room, our latest family portrait. When the photoshoot was done, we all filed into our vehicles to make our way to school. Bella and Nessie rode with me in the Volvo, and my siblings rode in Rosalie’s M3.

We made it to the high school just in time, and even from the car, I could already hear the booming electronic dance music and the excited prattle of hundreds of human children crowded around in the school gym. I prepared myself for the barrage of human thoughts I would have to hear tonight; the only people Bella would shield here were our family. Although Bella could shield a roomful of people from me easily, I still needed to be on the lookout for any suspicious minds when we were in public like this. The three of us met the rest of my siblings at the doors to the gym and joined the throng of high schoolers, looking like they were having the time of their lives. Little did they know how many lethal supernatural creatures had just descended upon this party. If they knew, maybe they wouldn’t be so happy.

“Are you ready for your first—but definitely not last—prom, Carlie?” Emmett asked my daughter, grinning. Nessie went by her middle name at school to be less conspicuous. At first, Bella was greatly displeased by the necessity of this precaution, but she couldn’t deny the rationale. We stood out more than enough being newcomers in a small town like this one, with our sheer number, our wealth, our beauty, and our semi-frequent ‘family trips’ to avoid the sun.

“Time to dance the night away!” Nessie said, grinning back at her uncle. She bounded away from us to meet a couple of her classmates, two girls who reminded me of Bella’s human friends, not physically, but in their manner and thoughts. Ness didn’t have many friends, and we had started to worry that her only interaction with other living beings was isolated to her family, but she rarely found her human classmates interesting, and when she did, it was because she genuinely had something in common with them.

The girl who was like Jessica, a brown-haired girl named Lindsay, shouted over the loud music at Nessie in greeting. “Oh my God, look how gorgeous you are!” Jesus, she looks like she belongs in some runway show right now. I wonder what designer this dress is by? Probably cost a million bucks…. I kind of hate her. Lindsay’s thoughts were petty and vitriolic, and I resisted the urge to march over there and shield my daughter from the bitter girl. That would have done more harm than good, so I settled for rolling my eyes and whispering in my wife’s ear about the girl’s thoughts. It was gossipy and ungentlemanly, but I had to share the burden of being powerless to protect Nessie from a fake friend.

“Oh, that girl is in my English class,” Bella said, looking unsurprised. “I knew she was mean, but I liked her Shakespeare essays. Nessie thinks she’s smart.” I scoffed and tuned in to the other girl’s thoughts—Annie, a girl with short, pink-dyed hair who made me think of Angela. She greeted Nessie with a hug, and thought, Wow, she looks like a princess. I should ask her to take a selfie with me! My mom will be super bummed if I don’t take a lot of pics tonight…. Annie pulled out a smartphone, and the three girls smiled as the little device flashed and snapped their ‘selfies.’ And then they ran to the dance floor together, jumping and laughing to the music.

I stayed with Bella in a darkened corner, and we watched Renesmee enjoying herself. Occasionally, one of my siblings would pull us away and make us dance to the upbeat music, but neither of us were particularly fond of the DJ’s infernal choices. The DJ, a baby-faced young boy called Drew who had Spanish class with me, exclusively played EDM and bastardized remix versions of classic love songs. By the ninth EDM song in a row, I finally put my proverbial foot down and crashed the DJ booth on stage to bribe him with a fifty dollar bill so he would play a song of my choosing. The boy was astonished and could barely say anything back to me, but as I walked through the crowd to reach Bella again, Johnny Ace’s “Pledging My Love” started blaring through the loudspeakers. I took Bella’s hand as we walked to the middle of the dance floor, and once we were there, I pulled her close to me and led us in a slow, intimate dance.

“This is the most romantic song I know,” Bella whispered, her head resting on my chest as we swayed slowly in a circle.

I chuckled. “Once upon a time, in a very old and decrepit truck, this song came on the radio and provided an apt soundtrack for the most romantic day of my life. Do you still remember that?”

Bella lifted her head from my chest and looked up at me, her eyebrows knitted together playfully. “My God, thirteen years and you’re still hating on the truck? I think you’ve got some issues to sort out there, honey,” she said, her beautiful lips turned up in a smirk. Then her face became more earnest. “But of course I remember. That was one of the best days of my life, too.”

Her amber eyes looked so full of love, so full of sincerity, that I felt like falling to my knees. As a mature vampire, more than a decade after her transformation, she should have no more than a few blurry recollections of her human life. But Bella felt so strongly about me, about the memories we’d made, that she vehemently held on to our past, even as each day, each minute, and each second brought us further away from it. I kissed her, always trying to let her know how precious she was to me. The song was nearly over, and I sighed. I could have stayed there dancing with her forever and never need anything more.

“Smile, please!” I heard Renesmee say, Emmett’s Polaroid camera in her hand. She snapped a photo of us. Then she turned the camera around, sandwiched herself between her mother and I, stuck her tongue out goofily, and pressed the button on the camera to take a picture again. Bella laughed.

“Where did your friends go?” Bella asked. “I was starting to think you guys would never get tired of dancing together.”

“Oh, they went back to their dates,” Nessie said nonchalantly. “So I decided to annoy Uncle Em by taking his camera.” A folky, lullaby-like acoustic song was now playing through the speakers.

“Oh—I love this song so much!” Nessie gasped. “Please dance with me, Dad?” She whispered the last word to keep any humans from hearing.

How could I refuse her? “Of course, sweetheart.”

Bella smiled and took the camera and the Polaroids from Nessie, saying something about finding Emmett and his big red bag. I led my daughter in a slow dance around the crowd, her hands resting on my shoulders.

“You and Mom looked amazing dancing together like that,” Nessie said casually, but by the look on her face, I could feel how serious the conversation was going to be. “I know the story, Dad. I know everything you went through before you could get here. And I am so happy that it worked out for you. Seeing how much you love Momma, how much she loves you… it makes me never wanna settle for anything less than that.”

My brows furrowed. “Is that why you said no to the boys who asked you to be their date tonight? Because you don’t love any of them?”

We kept swaying to the music, and Nessie chuckled. “Kind of. It’s true I said no because I don’t feel a connection to any of them, but also because I didn’t want tonight to be about some stranger hanging out around our family. I wanted it to just be us, so we could be ourselves.”

My heart swelled. Nessie always thought of our family first. That wasn’t her responsibility, and we would’ve been all too happy to pretend to be human and normal for any prom date of her choice, but she thought of us first. She was so like her mother in some ways.

“What did you mean, then? About never settling for anything less?” I asked. Something about the way she’d said it worried me, made me feel as though there were insecurities underneath her positive tone that needed to be addressed.

She took a deep breath. “I just… I realized that real love like I’ve seen with you and Mom, Grandma and Grandpa, Uncle Em and Aunt Rose, Uncle Jasper and Aunt Alice… it’s rare and it’s wonderful. And I think I would prefer waiting for a love where I could feel everything there is to feel rather than try to force something with anyone I’m not sure about. And I realize I could be waiting forever if I keep waiting for something perfect, but that’s the point, isn’t it? And I can’t imagine how I would ever find something like that. And that’s all right, I think.”

Renesmee’s words were full of conviction, and I started thinking about how, someday, the day would come when we would be dancing just like this—I would be in a tuxedo and she would be in a big white dress—at her wedding, for the father-daughter dance. Like her, I could not imagine yet the person she would marry, but I saw our family there. I saw Charlie desperately trying to ignore how our faces still remained unchanged. I saw Jacob, whom Renesmee considered her best friend, taking a break from managing his own auto repair shop to be there as her best man. It would be the happiest day of her life, just as how my wedding had been one of the happiest days of mine, and it saddened me that she couldn’t see herself finding that happiness one day. But I understood Nessie’s conclusions—or maybe more accurately, her fears—about not finding love. When I was still alone, I’d come to similar conclusions that the kind of happiness I saw in my family was simply not meant for me. Even when I’d found Bella, I always chose the saddest path, never daring to hope that I could have happiness with her forever.

“I admire your position about refusing to settle, Ness, because you deserve only the best. And I was just like you once. Before I found your mother, I never saw the point in pursuing relationships that I knew weren’t going to be meaningful. But you shouldn’t let yourself believe that you won’t find what you’re looking for.” I brushed a stray lock of curly bronze hair behind Nessie’s ear, hoping she could hear the honesty in what I was saying. “You know that for our kind, waiting through decades of being alone before finding who you’re meant for is more common than finding that right away….So please, don’t be so resigned. You are entirely too young to resign yourself to an eternity of being alone. It will work out, somehow,” I finished, echoing Esme’s confident words to Bella long ago when our relationship was at its very beginning.

Renesmee nodded, and I hoped my reassurances had lifted a little of the weight off her shoulders. I didn’t need to have Jasper’s gift for empathy to know that existing in both our world and the human world, not quite belonging in either, was a difficult thing to process. I didn’t know what the future held for my daughter—none of us did—but I looked forward to it with the same optimism my own parents had always had for me.

The acoustic ballad we were dancing to ended softly, and I escorted her away from the dance floor so we could rejoin our family.

“My feet kind of hurt,” Nessie complained as we found Bella sitting beside Rosalie on some folding chairs, but a smile was still bright on her face. She was having such fun tonight.

“Do you want to go home, baby?” Bella asked as Nessie dragged over another chair to sit down between Bella and Rose. Nessie rested her head on Rose’s shoulder, and Rose circled her arm around Nessie in a one-armed hug. “You’ve been dancing all night, I’m sure you’re tired.”

“Yeah, I think I wanna go home,” Ness said, sounding a little sleepy.

Suddenly, Lindsay and Annie appeared out of the crowd as an upbeat pop song started playing. “Carlie, come dance with us!” one of the human girls said.

Nessie perked up. “Wait, I love this song! Just one last!” she said enthusiastically, heading back to the dance floor with her friends. I shook my head, amazed at her energy. I sat down on the seat that Nessie had just vacated.

“We’re still a go for tomorrow, right, Rose?” I asked Rose discreetly. If the weather was safe enough for us to be out, we were going into the city tomorrow so Rose could help me pick out Nessie’s very first car. She learned how to drive when she was seven but always used the cars that belonged to the rest of the family. Now that she was going to college, she needed a vehicle to be able to get around on her own. Bella was coming with us, too, to be the voice of reason. Apparently, Rose was just as likely as I was to pick a car that Bella would deem—and this was her word—‘overkill.’ Rose only nodded in response, but I saw the corners of her mouth turn up a little.

We all watched as Nessie danced to one last song with her friends, and I could pick her lovely voice out of the babble of other noise as she sang along. “There’s a mountaintop that I’m dreamin’ of…. If you need me, you know where I’ll be!”

“She’ll call us constantly once she’s in college, right?” Bella asked me in an emotional whisper, looking at our daughter jumping up and down and singing with her friends. Since she became a vampire, I rarely thought of my wife as vulnerable anymore, but she looked vulnerable now. If our bodies were still capable of shedding tears, I wondered if she would be crying. Honestly, I realized I wanted to cry as well. Renesmee was ready to create her own life, and she needed us less and less every day. Years ago, I’d thought loving Bella was the greatest accomplishment of my life, the only good thing I would ever do. I’d thought that, after a hundred years of emptiness, loving Bella as thoroughly and as completely as I did was the strongest feeling I would ever experience. But Nessie—she proved those assumptions wrong, time and again. It was an honor to have raised her, and I knew Bella felt the same.

I held Bella’s hand and kissed her temple. “I’m sure she will, love. I’m sure she will.”

After a few moments, the song was over, and Nessie was saying her goodbyes to her friends. When she had made her way back to us, she cried, “My feet are killing me! Please never let me dance all night in heels ever again.”

Bella let out a short laugh. “It’s fine, baby. You can take off your shoes and your dad will carry you to the car.”

“Oh, bless!” she exclaimed. Bella laughed again. Nessie pulled off her heels, which Bella promptly carried for her, and our daughter let me lift her up in my arms. As we walked, Bella wrapped her arm around my waist. I glanced up at the night sky and saw the pale moon untrammeled by the usual gray clouds, bathing the high school parking lot in its ghostly light. It conjured up memories of a similar evening. Another prom night—Bella’s very first. I’d carried her in my arms just like this, and I remembered how desperate I’d been, how important it was for me that she did not miss her prom, in case her future children ever asked about it. I wanted to make sure she wouldn’t have an empty story for them because of me. And here we were, thirteen years later, with the miracle of our own child in my arms, Bella’s arm around me. Not even the sweetest of my dreams could compare to the reality we lived in now. I stared at Bella’s face, wondering if her thoughts had taken the same turn mine had. She pressed a hand to her throat, remembering how I’d kissed her there that night. We shared a secret smile.

When we reached the car, Bella opened the door to the backseat, and I sat Ness gently down in the middle, making sure her limbs were in comfortable positions. “Thanks, Dad,” she whispered, looking seconds away from succumbing to sleep. Bella got in beside her, and I sat in the driver’s seat to take us back home.

At moments like this, I still struggled to believe how I could have been given so much happiness, so much unadulterated joy that went beyond the ambit of anything I had ever dared to dream of for myself.

It felt like a reward I didn’t deserve. Maybe it was futile, looking for reasons when I knew I would get no answers. But in all my musings, the only conclusion I came to that made any kind of sense was that… it was because of Bella.

Because of Bella and her goodness, that rare kindness I saw only in her—she was why I was allowed all this happiness. And I was just the fool lucky enough to be in the range of her shining sun. Lucky enough to love her and be loved by her.

How could I ever tell her how grateful I was? Grateful that she could always see past the worst of me and my mistakes. Grateful that she had unlimited selflessness, giving us the family I’d envisioned for her, but thought impossible for me. Grateful that she was all too happy to be the first and only love of my existence. Grateful that cruel fate, after our various ordeals, had turned merciful to bring us to this heaven.

I looked back at them again, Nessie now sleeping soundly on Bella’s lap, and Bella absentmindedly twining her fingers through the mess of bronze curls fanned out on the soft fabric of her dress. “She’s dreaming,” Bella whispered. I could see Nessie’s hand on Bella’s arm, inadvertently letting Bella see the pictures she was swimming through in the land of her dreams.

I was sure that no words in any of the languages I knew could ever sufficiently reveal the feelings of peace and contentment that I felt, staring at them, the two halves of my heart, at ease in the backseat.

Bella caught me looking then, her golden eyes piercing through mine in the rearview mirror. She smiled, lowered her shields, and allowed me to hear one thought: I love you.

“I love you, too, Bella,” I whispered. I willed the past and the future that stretched out infinitely before us to give those words weight, seeming too simple and inadequate to convey the depth of what I felt.

No, I didn’t have the words that could tell Bella how grateful I was for her. For Renesmee. For our family. Perhaps I never would…. But that was fine. I had the rest of forever to try and find the words. Forever and forever and forever. I smiled and felt lighter than if my heart were not made of stone, and sped up the car to take us faster towards home.

[oncethrown]

SPN Deserved Batter 1: Found Family

Imagine boy who loses his family at 4 years old. 

His mother dies in a fire and grief drives his father to be a different man, not a father so much as a commander. His baby brother, who he carried from the fire in his tiny arms even as his mother roasted on the ceiling, is left in his clumsy care as he spends his life moving from motel to motel and school to school. 

He never has a relationship, and the couple attempts he makes don’t pan out. He’s too wild. Too unusual. Too dangerous.  But it doesn’t matter, and it doesn’t matter that it’s not true, because he’ll always be out of their lives in a couple weeks. A month at the outside. 

And then, the little brother he raised, fed, cared for, had to be mother and father to- leaves. Just when they were getting old enough to be peers. Leaves their father and their lifestyle more than he leaves Dean, but it doesn’t feel like it. 

And then Dean’s father starts to leave him behind more and more. Splitting up in Montana for a couple weeks. Berating him for missing an easy kill when they go after werewolves together in Oregon and then taking off to deal with a lead on a demon. 

He joins forces with other hunters now and then. People who crash his case without a disguise as good or as useful as his. Idiots who only think they know what their doing. Lee Webb, for a while. A friend... or something. But it can’t last. 

And then, finally, his father goes on a hunting trip, and he doesn’t hear from him for days, and Dean is so alone, he breaks his promise to himself that he would let Sam go on and live a normal life. And he brings Sam’s life crashing down around him, and goddamn it, he’s a little relieved when it gets Sam back in the car. Back on the road. 

They hunt. They hunt for years. and they find themselves at the center of the battle between heaven and hell. They lose their father. They gain an angel. 

Their work is dangerous. Their enemies are powerful and merciless, and there is a version of this story where every new friend, ally and supporter dies. Where Sam and Dean only ever have each other to fall back on. Where they push too hard and sacrifice too much and have to watch the people around them die over and over. 

But. 

There are more things in heaven an earth than they have dreamt of. 

They learn that there are people who have been hunters for generations, and not just hunters who were born in fire and tragedy like they were. They find a roadhouse full of people who know the truth. Who work as hard as they do. They aren’t in Nebraska all that often, but it’s a safe place to have a drink and bunk down when they are there. They reconnect with Bobby Singer, who becomes more of a father to them than John ever was, though it’s still hard for Dean to admit it. 

Castiel, the angel who Dean hated least, becomes a friend. More than a friend, Almost a brother, Dean thinks. Someone... someone he can love differently than he loves Sam. Someone he, as an adult, as his own person, can choose to care about and take care of. 

And there are still worlds left to conquer. Every year there seems to be a bigger threat, more of the world in danger, but every year they have more people to rely on.

To love. 

They check in with Jo Harvelle when they are in the Northeast now. She’s mostly going to college, but still hunts here and there. 

Gordon... they work with Gordon when they have to. He’s dangerous... but you don’t bring a knife to a gun fight and hunters are not, by and large, cuddly. Gordon is at least more reliable than Bella, who is about as likely to help you as she is to double cross you, and every couple years they always need her too much to say no when she calls. 

Jody Mills calls when she knows she needs back up, and Dean and Sam don’t talk about how nice it is to be put up in her guest room and welcomed to her leftovers when they are there. 

The nerdy redhead surprises Dean. Charlie, who worms her way into his heart so fast. 

He thinks about her, sometimes, even in Purgatory, as he and Benny hunt for Castiel, and Benny stops asking who this angel is to Dean that makes him so important. 

When Dean escapes purgatory, but loses Cas, and doesn’t know what to say to Benny, he tries to find her, but lets go when he realizes that she might be the one person he can’t find if they don't want to be found. 

Years go by, and it turns out Hunters aren't the only monster hunters. Some hoighty-toighty bunker douche bags tried their hand at it too, and Dean finds himself, suddenly, with a home. 

It’s a creepy underground 50′s bunker... but it’s big. It’s even big as it starts to fill up. 

Castiel takes the room next to Dean’s. Sam doesn’t say anything when he picks a different wing of the barracks. 

When Jo drops out of college again, she comes to stay for a while. 

An encounter with spell work and fairies at a Larp Weekend bring Charlie back into the fold, and she grabs another one of the rooms in Sam’s wing. Claire Novak runs away to them more than once. 

It’s not as though it’s ever bustling, but it’s not as though it’s quiet. Jack, a child in a teenager’s body and a nearly all powerful being in a tee shirt, certainly keeps things interesting, but even he isn’t the strangest piece of their little compound when Gabriel comes back to life and Rowena, mother of the king of hell have... one bedroom, at least until they swindle, and possibly murder their way into a penthouse someone far away from the midwest. Charlie, after an extremely strange night, starts dating Dorothy from the wizard of Oz, and Sam’s side of the barracks fills up just a little more. 

And then, here and there... a monster. 

When Garth becomes a werewolf, he doesn’t know where else to stay. When Sam’s kitsune friend from junior high is being hunted, they hide in the bunker. They don’t stay forever, but they retreat there. To Sam and Dean. And Castiel. And Charlie. And whoever else might be a spare bedroom at that point. 

Dean doesn’t notice how much he’s changing until Amara brings back his mother. 

And suddenly he feels like he has to hide how he talks to and touches Castiel when she’s in the same room. And Charlie wants to talk to him about it, and he doesn’t know how. 

He finds himself telling Mary about John, and realizing that when he talks about his life with John... there is nothing else in it. 

Motels and monsters.

No learning to make old fashioned to get Cas to try whiskey. No sitting with Charlie at the computer for hours while she patiently explains something that she could do in her sleep. No Rowena smuggling cursed bones into the library when she promised she would stop. No trying to explain Scooby do to Cas, or reading a book that Cas leant him on their very infrequent days off. 

And then Sam meets a girl on a hunt. Eileen. And Dean can see how he lights up around her, and the way she smiles at him, and the way people look at Sam and Eileen, and then at him and Castiel, and then anywhere else. 

But it’s not the focus of their lives as they have to defeat the men of letters. 

and then another dimension opens up, and all of them are confronted with who they could have been. Hard, ransacked versions of themselves. 

Dean’s relieved he doesn’t exist in that dimension. He’s starting to think he knows what the version of himself would look like. He thinks it’s probably the version of himself who sold his soul for Sam. 

A man he no longer is. 

Eventually they win. 

Or almost win, because now, after everything, they have to fight god. But they do go home. They call everyone, and everyone starts driving to Kansas. 

But Dean goes to Charlie’s room, and he’s ready to talk about it, and she’s happy to hear about it. 

And then, even though it’s late, he goes to Cas’s room and he says something he’s barely been letting himself think. 

He stays there with Cas. All night. 

In the morning, they walk into the kitchen together, where Sam and Eileen are rather conspicuously drinking Bloody Mary’s very slowly, and Charlie and Dorothy are playing footsy under the table and going through some research with Pamela. Bobby is bent over a book and chugging coffee. So is Mary. Jack is eating some kind of sugary cereal the way a cat eats a bread bag tie, hunched over it like he’s worried someone’s going to take it away from him when they realize he isn’t supposed to have it. 

Dean sees Cas smile out over the room, and the way that all of them smile back. And he takes Cas’s hand. 

It takes time and work and struggle. But they do defeat God. They do win their freedom and their lives back. 

All of them. 

[since0202]

Chapter 27: Birthday

June

The rest of May passed quickly and soon, the enjoyable heat of June was upon them. Grace took longer than expected to heal which Carlisle was fascinated by. He asked her to come by the house or the hospital a few times to run some tests on her. Sam didn’t particularly like this development but was trying to heed Ti’Hal’s advice. The rest of the pack were enjoying the relative peace after the stress of the fight. 

Sam made sure to loosen up their rounds since no present danger was threatening them or the tribe, so they took their newfound freedom to bask in the warm sunlight on La Push beach. 

Grace and Bella would typically show up together, hand in hand to join them, on the sunnier days when Edward was tucked away. Their days were spent swimming peacefully in the ocean, playing pick up football or volleyball on the beach, or laying around in massive piles across each other's bodies bathing in the sunlight. 

Grace always found herself close to Jacob, but never actually let herself touch or reach for him. It was an exercise in restraint, one that the ache in her stomach didn’t agree with. She  just wanted to be near him. The pack picked up on this and always left a space open next to Jacob for Grace to settle into. 

When the imprints showed up, that was usually Grace’s cue to leave. She’d sneak away and recast into the cove staring at the dilapidated home for too long or rested on the isolated beach watching the waves pull in until the sun set.

One day, after recasting to her cove, she heard a crashing to her left that sounded like someone coming through the trees. In the days that Grace had been sneaking away, no one had ever followed her and she was mildly irritated that someone would break her solace now. She pulled herself up on her elbows and looked toward the trees only to see Leah emerge. 

“What are you doing here?” Grace said perplexed.

“Same as you. Getting away from the imprint-love-fest,” she grumbled, stomping down the beach and coming to rest next to Grace. 

Grace knew that Leah still felt uncomfortable around Sam and Emily. She could clearly see the pain etched in her face, but more than that, in her wolf form, Leah’s emotions sometimes overpowered everyone around her. Sam didn’t dare issue a command to quiet her, not feeling it was fair since he was the one who caused her so much pain, but sometimes Grace wished for one. Leah felt everything so strongly and even now as she sat beside her, she could feel the anxiety and pain roll off of her. A pain that she knew too well.

Absently, Grace placed a hand on her arm. Leah looked down suddenly, and took a deep breath, instantly relaxing. 

“Thanks,” she said. 

“Anytime,” Grace returned, pulling what anxiety she could from Leah’s body. 

“How are you feeling with all of the Paul stuff?” Leah said. Grace was surprised. Leah never asked about this stuff, but she felt something coming from Leah that wasn’t just pain—she felt a desire to be closer. So Grace obliged. Maybe it was just her duty as Spirit Bird to be an emotional conduit, but she also felt the need to be close to Leah. 

“I don’t know,” Grace breathed out suddenly, wiping her sandy hands on her shorts. “It’s over, that’s for sure. And he and Rachel seem to be getting closer,” Grace fought a strong pang of sadness rising up in her throat. She was getting better at containing it. “So, we just….move on.” she said simply. 

“That’s depressing,” Leah muttered. 

“You’re telling me, babe,” Grace said affectionately. 

“What about Jake?” Leah turned her head to look at Grace this time. Grace was taken aback by this. 

“Wh-what do you mean? What about Jake?” Grace’s heart fluttered at the mention of his name. 

Ever since the incident and the subsequent days of healing, Grace and Jacob’s connection had intensified. When she wasn’t around him, she thought about him constantly and when she was with him, it took all of her willpower to not make it obvious that what she craved most of all was to be in his arms again. The temporary time they had spent together where Grace had been mostly unconscious had somehow steeped their connection, and now the distance she was meant to endure in their unknown relationship stretched out empty before them. 

“You know what I mean, Alo,” Leah said simply. “If it’s not an imprint binding you, it’s close enough. He’s tied to you too. I can see it in his head.” 

Grace looked at Leah suddenly. She hadn’t considered how their connection compared to an imprint. But the connection still made her uneasy. 

“I don’t know if I’m ready for that,” Grace said softly, gripping at the sand and staring out. She knew how intense the imprint bonds were, how tethered they became. Paul was a perfect example. 

He and Rachel had slowly started to see more of each other and Grace tried to stay away as much as possible for her sake and his. The pain was still there like a dull ache, but she didn’t want to test it by seeing it full blown in front of her and end up crumbling. Staying out of the packs heads when they were in wolf form was hard though. She always had a front row seat to the newest development in every relationship.

Her favorite place to stay was in Jake’s head. It was comfortable and mostly his thoughts wandered to the cool, green area around him. It was peaceful and it was nice to not have to hear every analyzed detail of someone’s encounter with another imprint. But sometimes, Jake would settle on one specific image of Grace curled up into him in his bed, breathing low and slow. Jake lingered on this memory often and it somehow made Grace feel better. She let herself enjoy the peace of that moment they had together even just for a little while before the voices pushed between them. 

“I’m not saying to jump his bones by any means. Just wondering. I get stuck with him on patrols a lot,” Leah said. She looked over her shoulder now at the dilapidated house. “What is this place?” Happy for a change of subject, Grace also looked at the house. 

“I don’t know. I kept getting called here for a while after Paul and I broke up. But now more and more I find that I want to be here. Feels like home but I don’t know why. It’s weird.” Grace shrugged and turned her head to stare at Leah now. 

“Hmm,” Leah said simply. “Looks like shit.” Grace let out a laugh. 

“Thanks,” she giggled, leaning into Leah who stiffed suddenly at the connection but then relaxed, throwing an arm around her shoulder. 

They leaned into one another watching the sunset, neither wanting to leave just yet. 

Grace woke up the morning of her 18th birthday to a cool, June morning. She stretched her body awake in bed and let out a satisfied sigh. The door to her and Bella’s bedroom opened and an elated Bella crept in with a plate of blueberry pancakes in hand. 

“Happy birthday!” she smiled.

“I thought you didn’t like birthdays?” Grace teased. 

“Just mine. Yours however is one worth celebrating.” Bella set the pancakes in Grace's lap and deposited a fork into her hand. “Charlie’s coming up with the presents,” she said over her shoulder. 

“Presents?” Grace said suddenly. 

“Oh yeah!” Charlie busted through the door holding up a few carefully wrapped gifts above his head and ‘raising the roof’, “18! You did it.” 

“Thanks, it was definitely touch and go there for a while,” Grace joked, taking a bite of blueberry pancake. “You guys didn’t need to get me gifts.” she said her mouth full. 

“Come on,” Charlie said, rolling his eyes. 

“This one first!” Bella said, excited and plopping a small box in front of her. Grace took another bite of pancake and clapped her hands together excitedly before tearing it open. It was a small ring box and Grace looked up at Bella, annoyed. 

“You can’t propose, we’re cousins,” Grace whined. 

“Shut up,” Bella laughed. Grace pulled open the box to reveal a small round silver ring set with a small white buffalo stone. It was simple but startlingly beautiful, the dark rivulets running through the white stone pock marked its surface like the moon. 

“Sister stones,” Bella said, holding out her pinkie to Grace to show she had a matching one on. “So we’ll always be connected.” Grace placed the ring on her pinkie and looped it with Bellas. 

“Sisters,” Grace said warmly. “Thank you, it’s beautiful!” Bella sat back pleased with her reaction and looked up to Charlie. 

“This is from your mom.” Charlie said, handing her a medium, square sized package. Grace took it tentatively in her hands and unwrapped it carefully. “Said it was your dad’s.” 

Grace gasped and put a hand to cover her mouth as tears sprang to her eyes. It was her father’s pullover, one she remembered vividly from her childhood. It had been mended to its former glory, the old holes having been patched lovingly and the loose zipper being replaced by a sturdy black one. She held it to her, the bottom was a worn green fleece and the top was an intricately woven black and white pattern that showcased the whale and the eagle prevalent in her tribe’s histories. She laughed with happiness as tears fell from her eyes. The fact that her mother had given up this piece for her was huge. It was her father’s most iconic and memorable piece of clothing. And her mother had cherished it so deeply after he was gone. 

“Woo, okay,” she said wiping the tears from her eyes and threading her arms easily through the oversized pullover. 

“And this last one, is a combined gift, from me, your mom, and Bella’s mom,” Charlie handed over a small envelope. Grace took it tentatively casting her eyes to Bella’s face who wore a mischievous grin.

Grace opened it slowly and peered inside. “Tickets?” 

“Two. So we can go visit them. Your mom is going to Florida to visit my mom and to interview for that new job so she thought it would be a good time for us to fly down there and have a girl’s weekend.” Bella said nudging her, the smile never leaving her face. 

“What really?!” Grace said jumping to her knees in excitement. 

“Yeah, well,” Charlie brushed it off but Grace bounced across the bed and wrapped him in a tight hug. 

“Oh thank you so so much! Charlie this is...this is great!” She said the tears springing back again. She hadn’t seen her mom in almost a year and they’re phone conversations had been short as they navigated their new relationship after the separation. She didn’t even know that Grace had gotten hurt. She realized now how much she missed her mom and clutched the tickets to her chest. 

When Bella and Grace rolled up to Emily’s that afternoon, Grace internally felt herself squeeze with excitement. She always loved her birthday, but this was her first one getting to celebrate with so many people she loved. 

She was wearing her dad’s pullover, even in the late June heat and wore cut off shorts that were nearly covered by the length of the pullover. She pushed the arms of it up to bunch around her elbows and smiled as Bella came around the truck. Just as they hopped up the porch, she heard a collection of hoots and whistles pour out from the doorframe. 

“She’s here!” 

“Birthday! It’s your birthday!” 

“Can we eat the cake now!?”

“All hail. The birthday queen!” Quil announced coming forward as Grace entered the living room. He placed a carefully constructed crown of bent branches, fern leafs and white and yellow flowers on her head. 

“Happy birthday, Grace,” Emily said wrapping her in a warm hug and kissing her cheek. Grace thought her face would freeze into a smile she’d been grinning like an idiot so much. As the pack crowded around her, congratulating her and sharing hugs and excitement. Grace couldn’t help but let her eyes fall on the tall and breathtaking figure leaning against the kitchen island, just outside the circle. 

Jacob. 

His eyes were dark and smouldering, trained on her as if he had just made a decision. Her lips suddenly ached and she felt herself letting them part unconsciously as she got swallowed up in that look. Gravity. She thought. The pull was undeniable and the longer they stared at one another, the harder it was to tamp it down. 

His face broke into a heartbreaking smile that made her knees weak for a second. Her eyes pleaded for him to come closer, and just as she was about to push through the pack to get to him, letting herself listen to that familiar pull in her belly for once, a voice snapped her back. 

“Come on, we have a surprise!” Seth said eagerly. She looked around her again at the excited faces. 

“Okay!” She said happily. Seth took her hand and led her out the door with the pack right next to her and Bella, Jake, Sam and Paul bringing up the rear. 

After thirty minutes of walking through the trees, Grace looked around skeptically, “Seth? Do you actually know where you’re going?” 

“Totally.” he said, but Grace still wasn’t too sure. After a couple more minutes of walking, they broke into a familiar clearing. 

The cove and the rundown house stared back at her. Seth smiled up at her and jogged ahead to run around the front of the house. Grace was frozen in place as she looked around at the pack members who were snickering.

“Come on,” Jake said, grabbing her hand and pulling her forward. She held tight and they walked around standing a few feet back from the front porch. The pack had gathered on the front porch and Sam stood on the bottom step. Paul leaned against the side of the house, watching with a warm smile. 

“Happy birthday, Grace.” Jake said squeezing her hand. 

“What?” 

“Happy birthday!” the pack chorused holding their hands up. 

“I don’t understand.” Grace said looking at Jake. 

“It’s yours.” Jake nodded toward the house, that crushing smile coming across his face again. Grace looked quickly back to the house to the waiting pack. 

“Mine?!” 

“Leah told us about it. How you kept coming here…” Jake trailed off. Sam took up the torch next. 

“Technically, it wasn’t on treaty land, so the tribe couldn’t purchase it on your behalf--” 

“But luckily, my dad knows some people as the official tribal land commissioner. Turns out, it used be part of our land way back in the day. So he had some lines redrawn, negotiated a zoning price, and badabing badaboom.” Embry said smacking his hands together. 

“This is too much,” Grace breathed, her eyes glued to the exterior of the house. “This is way way way too much, you guys,” she was panicking a little bit. 

“You can’t give it back. They’ll throw birthright at you and send you on your way. It’s done.” Quil said crossing his arms. 

“Yeah, say thank you!” Jared threw at her. Jake shot him a warning look and Embry slapped him upside the head before dodging a punch to the arm. 

“I-” her eyes were welling up again. They got her a home. This beautiful, ridiculous, raucous family got her a home. “Thank you!” she finally mustered through joyous tears streaming down her cheeks. They all broke out into smiles and darted down the steps to all hug her at once.

“It smells like B.O. ugh!” Leah cried. 

“Get over it, we’re hugging!” Jared said. 

“Yeah, I agree with Leah, someone STINKS.” Quil quipped. 

“Jeez Seth when was the last time you took a shower man?!” Embry said poking him in the side. 

“Hey!” Seth said sadly.

“Alright, alright! It’s my birthday, I have the birthday crown, and I say no picking on Seth today!” 

This was met with a volley of groans as the group freed each other from the hug and darted off down the beach. She turned to Jacob. 

“Thank you,” she said. He wrapped his arms warmly around her body and pulled her close to him. 

“You’re welcome,” he said casually, like it was the easiest thing in the world. Grace rolled her eyes and was about to pull away to join the others when he held her there, giving her that same swallowing look of adoration. Jake’s hands were wrapped around her lower back and she had placed her hands on his upper arms. She felt rooted to the spot and stared up at him. The pull in her stomach was quiet, happy. His eyes stopped at her lips and parted hungrily and his face moved closer to hers now. She could feel his warm breath across her face and lips and she felt her mouth water with anticipation as tiny bursts of pleasure shot across her palms and down her arms. 

This was the closest they’d been since they had gotten hurt and Grace was melting at his touch. She felt whole, she felt right, and most importantly, she felt like she didn’t want to be anywhere else. So many times with Paul she would feel that ache of absence. One that only pleasure would temporarily solve, but with Jake, her body wracked with the realization that this was it. 

Grace wanted so much more of this and she was scared. 

As his lips started to graze hers he whispered, “Can I?” Just as she opened her mouth gently to receive his kiss, she sucked in a deep breath and pulled her head to the side, pushing against his shoulders gently. 

“Jake.” She said. He straightened, looking at her confused and letting his arms fall to his side. “I’m sorry,” she whispered. She didn’t want to push him away. It would have been so frustratingly easy to just let him kiss her and sink into happiness with him, but she was so scared. 

The fact was she was not his imprint. And that made the possibility of him imprinting on someone else very likely, almost certain. Grace didn’t want to relive that pain again. Whatever Leah had said about their connection being close enough to an imprint wasn’t wrong, but it wasn’t the unbreakable bond that Grace had to endure as she watched Paul let her go and choose someone else. 

The thought of that happening with Jacob was too much for her to bear. She could see it so clearly: In a month, a year, ten years, she’d be with him  and happy and then all it would take is one look and he’d be gone. Wrapped in the arms of someone else. She wouldn’t let it happen to her again. She took a step back from him and looked out across the beach. 

“I’m going to Florida with Bella for a few days,” she said looking back at him. Jacob was still watching her with that confused, dejected stare. “Can you look after Seth for me?” She didn’t know why she said it. She just wanted this part to be over so she could push past the pain of it. The ache in her was protesting at pulling away from him so quickly. 

“Sure.” Jacob croaked, his hands down at his side. His eyes lingered down to the bracelet on her wrist. The one he had gifted her after only her first couple of weeks here and he clenched his fists. “Whatever you want.” He said before turning up the beach toward the pack. He sounded annoyed, angry even. 

Bella came up behind her and put an arm around her. “Sam agreed to let Edward and his family help with the renovations. They’re going to start while we’re in Florida, so do you want to walk through and tell me what you want changed?” Grace smiled sadly and nodded her head enthusiastically. “Kay, come on sis.” She said affectionately, pulling her toward the door. Sam and Paul were already surveying the porch and making notes on what needed repaired and replaced. 

Grace crossed the threshold of her new home and felt a whiplash of sadness and happiness pull through her all at once. She was starting her new beginning with so many people surrounding her that she loved, so why did she all of the sudden feel so alone?

[shemakesmusic-uk]

Alt-pop newcomer LVRA (pronounced loo-rah, real name Rachel Lu) has shared her first new track of 2021, ‘DEAD’. Following up on 2020’s debut EP LVCID, she explains: “There’s a unique power you gain when you stop caring about what people think of you. It’s an ongoing battle, though, and ‘DEAD’ is about the conflict between the fantasy of not caring and how you feel in reality. The video captures that, with a version of myself who has her shit together and another that is fighting to survive.The use of red represents fear in the human condition, but in Chinese culture it also symbolises happiness. One rarely comes without the other.” The track – a cultural mix that matches LVRA’s heritage with bleeding edge ultra HD pop – is the first taster of a second EP, which is set to follow later this summer. You can check out an Oscar McNab (Lacuna Common, Oscar Lang). directed video above. [via Dork]

Los Angeles artist Wallice follows debut single 'Punching Bag' with new coming of age anthem, '23'. Wallice finds herself caught between two places on fresh cut, '23'. “Too old to be a runaway”, but also too young to consider herself as grown up, the 22-year old yearns for a past that still has not happened yet. Working with producer David Marinelli since her return to California, Wallice has crafted a sound that is unique without taking itself too seriously. An angst-driven remonstration at the powerlessness of her age, '23' is also the clearest stamp of her musical identity to date. The expression of this purgatory is a cathartic garage-rock headbanger complemented beautifully by Wallice’s playful lyrics. “I just can't wait to be / all grown up and 23,” she admits in the song’s irresistible chorus. “Tell me what is wrong with me / I miss my Ohio fake ID”. In artfully portraying the limbo state of the age, Wallice describes the events in her life that have led to her own disaffection. “It’s hard not to compare your own professional success to that of your similarly aged peers. I dropped out of university in New York after studying Jazz Voice for a year, and my dad was VERY disappointed, to say the least, so it was hard not to feel like a loser in that sense. “The specific age 23 doesn’t have any milestones associated with it, but it’s more the idea of just looking forward to the future,” Wallice continues on the meaning of the track. "Much like how people ‘reset’ every new year, it’s comparable to be ‘older and wiser’ with each birthday, but instead of constantly looking to the future, it is important to be happy with where you are”. [via Line Of Best Fit]

Coach Party have shared their new single 'Everybody Hates Me'. The Isle of Wight group are gearing up to release their incoming EP, with After Party pitting their potent indie pop influences against bittersweet lyricism. Out shortly, the EP is teased by new thumper 'Everybody Hates Me', with Coach Party adding a neat gloss to their guitar pop sound. Out now, 'Everybody Hates Me' comes equipped with a neat video steered by Daniel Broadley. Vocalist Jess Eastwood comments: “‘Everybody Hates Me’ isn’t a metaphor for anything; it’s literally about those times when you convince yourself that everyone, including your best friends don’t actually like you, and your self-confidence is so low that you don’t even blame them. Disguise that sentiment in an up-beat singalong, and there you have the third single from our new record. The video is a direct extension of the song. It swings between the insecurities of feeling like you’re not good enough amongst your friends, and the sense of unity you get from those same people when you finally wake up from your rut. Everyone feels that way from time to time, but you gotta remember that sometimes your irrational self is going to take over. And when it does, try to remember that you’re awesome, and your friends really are your friends.” [via Clash]

Pussy Riot have gone hyperpop on their latest song 'Toxic'. The Dorian Electra collaboration features glitched out production by Dylan Brady of 100 gecs and tackles a relationship gone bad. Written, directed, and edited by Pussy Riot’s Nadya Tolokonnikova, the music video features jarring, bloody imagery matching Brady’s production. “Care about yourself, cherish your mental health, and stay away from relationships that poison you!” Tolokonnikova writes in the YouTube description. “Amen.” In the song’s lyrics, Tolokonnikova tells off an ex. “You are my daily poison so annoying,” she sings. “You’re even more toxic than my employer.” The hook continues the theme. “This combo is deadly — ’cause we used to be friendly,” Electra laments. “And now my heart is a weapon / You made me… toxic.” [via Consequence of Sound]

Baby Queen has dropped a brand new track, ‘These Drugs’. Bella Latham’s second new track of the year – following up on the anthemic ‘Raw Thoughts’ – she explains in an Instagram post: “This is a story I really needed to tell you and I didn’t know how to for a long time. When I first wrote this song, I honestly didn’t think I was going to be allowed to release it or that releasing it would be a particularly good idea. It just felt really important and that’s all I’ve ever wanted music to be; so I knew I had to share it with you.I was in a very bad place at the time… very depressed and convinced I wasn’t a good person and didn’t deserve good things. Life is different now. I’m happy. I’ve learnt that the antidote to my misery is gratitude and caring about myself even when I don’t want to, until it becomes a habit. It’s natural to look for escapism but there’s more freedom in working to build a life you like… and by that I literally just mean learning to love yourself. You, with all your scars and all your regrets, are home to an actual life! You’ve been through so much and you’ve come out the other side stronger because of it – it’s remarkable really. You’ve got to invite the sad parts of yourself in to have a tea party with you. Don’t ignore them and cover them up. If you don’t look at them, they’ll make themselves seen! You are so worthy of love and I hope that if you don’t see that yet, you will learn to in time. Anyways guys,” she finishes, “this is all very intense. I love you very much and I hope you can understand and relate in some way.” [via Dork]

Greentea Peng has shared her new single 'Nah It Ain’t The Same'. The UK neo-soul voice is an outstanding talent, someone who pushes herself further into that hip-hop / jazz nexus with each release. Produced by Earbuds, new single 'Nah It Ain't The Same' is out now, one that reflects the chemistry she has with her live band The Seng Seng Family. Dipping into drum 'n' bass, her vocals have a calming, beatific feel, with 'Nah It Ain't The Same' tugging at matters personal. She comments: “Deliberations of a (hu) MAN, subject to the pendulum's swing, I give you ‘Nah It Aint The Same’ off my album MAN MADE. An expression and exploration of my utter confusion and inner conflicts amidst shifting paradigms.” Greentea Peng stars in the new video, with Machine Operated sculpting the video. [via Clash]

renforshort has debuted a brand new single, ‘virtual reality’. The first taster of a forthcoming second EP, the track sees her “connect” with Kellen Pomeranz (Pom Pom), Jesse Fink and Beabadoobee collaborator Pete Robertson. “’virtual reality’ is a song that tackles many topics. But at its core, it really is about anxiety, routine, boredom, isolation, loneliness, and fear,” she explains. “I think a lot of people have a very unhealthy relationship with technology because it’s never really been restricted enough to consider mental health and overall health, and that has fucked so many people up, now more than ever. Ever since I was young, social media has played a major role in my mental wellbeing, and I became so accustomed to it, it became a part of my routine and it came before everything else. The moment I wake up, almost instinctively, I check my phone. Depending on what I see in the morning, basically determines how I’m gonna feel for the rest of the day. I hate it. But I can’t stop. And what’s most ironic about this all is you’re likely going to read this on social media or listen to the song on some sort of electronic device…” [via Dork]

Flock of Dimes has shared the second single from her forthcoming album Head of Roses, out April 2 via Sub Pop. Following recent single, 'Two', 'Price of Blue' is another standout from Wasner’s second solo LP, an album that showcases her ability to embrace new levels of vulnerability, honesty and openness, combined with the self-assuredness that comes with a decade-plus career as a songwriter, producer, multi-instrumentalist and prolific collaborator. It comes accompanied by an unearthly new video filmed in black and white, co-directed by Wasner with Graham Tolbert. Wasner says: “This song is about trying, and failing, to connect. It’s about the ways in which, despite our best efforts, we misunderstand each other, and become so attached to stories that we’re unable to see the truth that’s right in front of us. And it’s about the invisible mark that another person can leave on your body, heart and mind long after their absence. It can be difficult to make sense of the memory of your experience when the reality on the surface is always shifting—when the story you’re telling, or the story you’ve been told, unravels, leaving you with a handful of pieces and no idea how they used to fit together.”

Berlin-based indie-soul five-piece, People Club, announce their new EP Take Me Home, which is due May 7 and the band are sharing the title-track and new video. The title track 'Take Me Home' is a song about the realisation of mortality in old age and the cynicism that often plights the elderly after losing their loved ones and being left alone with their regrets. It is accompanied by a music video shot by long standing collaborator, Felix Spitta. Speaking of the process the band say, “Once again we worked with our very talented friend, Felix Spitta, who also shot the video for our last single Francine.  We basically spent a day fooling around at his house with a smoke machine and an old tape TV camera with a red filter.  The result is hazy and disorientating, just like this year has been so far.”

Introducing MARY., the dreamy alter-ego of musician and songwriter Stef T. The self-produced debut track, ‘Day to Day’, interlaces elements of electro-pop and R&B with a voice that enchants, along with an official video filmed, edited and directed by David Risdon and Charlie Rose Creative. Reading like a page in a diary, ‘Day to Day’ offers a candid and emotionally raw glance at being overlooked as a woman in a man’s world. She is put together, glamorous and poised on the outside, but on the inside she is simmering like a pot ready to boil over, fed-up and on the brink of snapping. Speaking of the track, Stef T explains, “’Day to Day’ is a reflection on what it is to be a woman in a role where you are always unseen; constantly giving yet never receiving. As woman, we are often undervalued for our day to day work in all aspects - as mothers, in relationships, in our careers; having to push extra hard to get the basic recognition and thanks that we are entitled to. This song is a commentary of a large part of my life where I settled, sacrificed and worked, only to be used and taken for granted. It is about learning to survive a toxic relationship, discover your own individual worth again and reclaim the power that you gave away to someone else. Producing this song myself is the only thing that made sense in context with the intention of MARY. as a project. She is an entirely self made, independent woman, who does it all and doesn't need a man to confirm that she's doing a good job. This is something I have personally struggled with, so I created the MARY. persona to feel more empowered in my storytelling as an artist, in an industry without a large visible number of female-identifying producers.”

Los Angeles based dream pop trio Tashaki Miyaki have just released a single and video of the title song from their forthcoming second album, Castaway, which will be released on April 23 via Metropolis Records. Singer, drummer and producer Paige Stark states that the song “is about the challenges of romantic love and how we are all bad at it in one way or another. The idea of a castaway in all this is that no one understands the relationship except the people in it, so you really are stuck on an island alone together there. Maybe you make it back to the mainland, or maybe you stay on the island.” Stark also shot the Sofia Coppola-inspired video on film, adding: "I wanted to tap into all the feelings that can come up in love relationships: anger, sadness, loneliness, vulnerability, stillness, joy, romance, longing. The actress in it has a beautifully expressive face and I've known her for a long time. I knew we would be able to create those moments together. I wanted it to feel like the camera was her lover, capturing her in various private moments, moods and feelings.”

With her Vanilla Shell EP celebrating its one-year anniversary last month, Danish-Chilean composer Molina is back with another abbreviated record in the form of the new single 'Cold,' featuring vocalist Jonas Bjerre, arriving with a pair of B-sides. The brief collection of songs continues her simultaneous journey inward toward the roots of Chilean music and outward into her own unique vision of the future. The project lands with a video for the A-side, which dreams up bizarre fantasy iconography in the tradition of Grimes and Björk to complement her subdued take on these artists’ out-there recordings. Blending ambiguous electronic sounds with the familiar drone of cello and Bjerre’s backing vocals, the track’s distinct persona may have more in common with the experimental soundscapes of artists like Jenny Hval or Julia Holter. [via Flood]

Maisie Peters has debuted her brand new single, ‘John Hughes Movie’. Described as the first single from her soon to be announced debut album, it’s a song about unrequited love, inspired by the legendary film producer and his classic coming-of-age teen comedies like The Breakfast Club and Sixteen Candles. The track comes alongside a video co-written by Maisie and director Louis Bhose (Loyle Carner, Arlo Parks, Lewis Capaldi). Maisie explains: “I wrote ‘John Hughes Movie’ when I was 17 about a house party that I had gone to. It’s a really honest depiction of being a hopeless, melodramatic teenager, being awkward and drunk and getting your heart broken by people you don’t even remember anymore. John Hughes films encapsulate that foolish romantic energy of high school and everything that I, a small town English wannabe Molly Ringwald wanted to be, but was not.” [via Dork]

Chloe x Halle have shared the music video for their song 'Ungodly Hour.' The video was debuted on Wedneday night's episode of The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon and shows the Bailey sisters going underwater for a sci-fi-style visual filled with choreography and elaborate adventures at the bottom of the ocean. Watch the Alfred Marroquín-directed video above. [via The FADER]

South London's Josie Man has returned with sentimental new single 'Cuts & Bruise', marking her first release of 2021. 'Cuts & Bruises' follows October 2020's 'Grow' single, and is accompanied by a Andrea Mae-directed video that shows couples enjoying tender moments, including Josie Man and her boyfriend. [via Line Of Best Fit]

Jessie Ware has shared a new short film for her song 'Remember Where You Are'. Her album What's Your Pleasure? arrived last year, a disco-fuelled missile that presented some much-needed good vibes amid lockdown. The songwriter returns to the record for her song 'Remember Where You Are', a soulful and uplifting slice of UK songwriting. There's now a full video for the song and it's steered by BAFTA winning director Dominic Savage. Starring British actress Gemma Arterton, it opens on Valentine's Day and finds the star wandering through deserted London streets. A glimpse of hope and renewal, it taps into the growing feeling that this time, lockdown might be coming to a permanent end. "It was a real pleasure to collaborate with Jessie and Gemma on this short film that is inspired by Jessie Ware’s beautiful music. It was also inspired by the real feeling that was felt when we filmed in the deserted streets of eerily strange lockdown London on a Saturday night/Sunday morning,” Dominic said. “The feelings and emotions in the film are a true reflection of what that felt like, and what this time invokes. Sadness, nostalgia, pain and defiance. But when we climbed Primrose Hill and the sun started to rise above the city, there was real hope and joy for a future that will surely be ours. Listening to Jessie’s music. There is no doubt of that." Jessie adds... "This song has always meant a lot to me and I was determined for other people to hear it and for it to be single. I am so touched by how many people have embraced this song, particularly when it's one of your favourite actresses and an acclaimed film director. Working with Gemma, Dominic and their team has been an absolute joy. To have them realise my song with a beautiful ode to London and the longing for human touch and interaction couldn't be more of a compliment. It's a truly cherished piece of work." [via Clash]

Jaguar Jonze has shared her new single and video 'CURLED IN' ahead of the release of her second EP ANTIHERO on April 16, both via Nettwerk Records. 'CURLED IN' presents all her best qualities at its outset. From the track’s rip-roaring, slicing guitar to her perfectly forceful, omnipresent vocals, 'CURLED IN' is a pure cathartic release. "Tear me apart, just tear me apart," she all but demands: "I've never seen wrong be done right." She's fulfilling her simplest needs, and it's freeing. "It's a bit of a twist for me to be a masochist." As a survivor of abuse, these words' unafraid power is all too apparent and an engaging statement to hear expressed.

Following the release of eclectic and impressive debut singles 'ASOS,' 'Right Time,' and 'Papercut,' rising left-of-center pop singer and songwriter Dava returns with a fresh and bold new single 'New Ceilings' available now via Sony Music's Disruptor Records. The moody anti-pop record was co-written by Dava and Mike Adubato (Del Water Gap, Grace VanderWaal) who also produced the track, and is the latest off the Los Angeles-based musician's forthcoming debut EP, Sticky, due out later this year. On the inspiration behind her new single, Dava shares, "This song was written about survival and staying true to yourself. I was having a hard time financially after moving to LA and my phone was shut off while on my way to this session. I was upset with myself for prioritizing music when I really needed the money from driving Uber to stay afloat." She continues, "The day I wrote 'New Ceilings' I was angry and I wanted a song that felt empowering and validated all the work I had put in up to that point. I ended up choosing different songs for my project but when I revisited this one year later, I felt it needed to be heard because of how authentically it embodies my struggle."

London-based Fifi Rong, a multi-talented avant-pop songstress, has shared the video for her stunning single, ‘Another Me’. Directed by Rok Pat, the video for ‘Another Me’ is stylistically simplistic, as Fifi Rong uses her own body as a medium of art, painting herself and inviting the simple imagery of waterside reeds and plants. A tranquil mysticism embraces the single as Fifi Rong acts as a gentle siren, luring the unsuspecting in yet known the inevitable outcome of the relationship. Speaking of the concept behind the single and video, Fifi Rong tells us: “In any doomed romance, timing is always mysteriously wrong. This is my first full CGI music video and it visually portrays the elusive nature of the character surrounding the key message: 'you won't find another me'. The undertone of the song displays a sense of pride and confidence in the character’s melancholy. Dressed in nothing but petals, I wanted my character to symbolise purity, nature, truthfulness, vulnerability and the divine feminine form. Acting as a rotating statue, I wanted to mark the passing of time and seasons as if a unique and lonely piece of art on display.”

[maruzzewrites]

Bella Stronza for Melone please? It would be great if you made it super horrific or violent. Also, good luck with Valentine’s Day Maruzze! 💛

Content warnings: yandere content, obsessive behavior, possessive behavior, violence, death, abuse, manipulation.

With figures,numbers and simulations, Melone could understand people and their potential.This didn’t work only with possible vessels to use with his Stand, but withmost parts of his life, with how much he was used at typing away on hiskeyboard to get the results he needed at any given moment. Couple this with hisabnormal ability to understand information, even the most intimate variety,from a simple taste of someone’s skin, and you could obtain a prodigious matchto predict any type of situation.

Yet, you insistedwith going against the carefully planned and calculated outputs he someticulously crafted in order to understand your compatibility with him. It wasall perfect: you were a strong-willed person, someone who could keep their headup and look people in the eyes, fierce and smart enough to match him in the wayhe could see your usefulness without needing to exploit your body and consumeyour life. Just perfect; he knew that, it was all in writing, down on paper –or screen, rather. However, at times setbacks appeared, and Melone wasn’t new atwaiting it out until the situation straightened itself up into a more linear,logical path.

Along the way,you decided enough was enough, cut ties with him and turned your back to therelationship you built with him; all because you discovered something youdidn’t have the right to know, his involvement with gangs and criminals, hiscrooked job. He assumed you would, eventually, so he just sat back with amused,cheerful confidence that you would return to him soon enough. After all, youwere a match made in heaven, even if not picture perfect, even if you wouldshiver at the words he said to you from time to time. But differences are thespice in relationships, romantic ones above all, and you fitted perfectly.

So, what was thereason? What did make you think you could simply walk out and leave him behindin such a final way? Even after he called you, contacted you with any mean of communicationhe could think of, you were obstinate, stubborn and ever determined in keeping upthis act of wanting to ditch him for the next best thing you could find. And heknew, he was aware of your movements in the last few weeks; as you walkedaround with your hands around some other man’s arm, strutting around in shinyclothes and with a content smile. He let you be for a good amount of time,almost humming delightfully at your demonstration of vitality, your personalityshining through that break he decided to allow.

But days turnedinto weeks, weeks eventually became months, and you were still showing off thatsame serenity around an anonymous man Melone didn’t bother to identify, sure hewould be a fleeting moment into your life before you would come back into hisarms, under his thumb. You were your usual self, he could tell, stillheadstrong and inflexible, unable to rethink your choices once you made them,yet there was an air around you that he couldn’t understand, that he never feltbefore. Your steps were lighter, your laughter louder, your eyes brighter, asthis man talked to you and cooed pathetic, sappy nonsense into your ears whileyou were alone together somewhere.

It was a fungame until it turned into a feud, silent and unknown, against this unnamedobstacle Melone found himself facing. Every moment you were happy was a tauntat your previous life, the one you left just to parade around the city with toomuch glee in your pace and your voice. You were stomping on every logic he foundto build your relationship, to choose you among a sea of faceless people whodidn’t match him the same way. He remembered the way he morbidly searchedaround for any piece of data on you after he got the first glance at yourcompatibility, so perfect, so total. He had to fight his team too, to variousdegrees, as they berated, insulted or teased him as he analyzed the best way toapproach you in a way that could lull you into his arms willingly.

Because, afterall, Melone wanted your companionship. And he couldn’t simply pry it from you,he couldn’t force you into anything with him, because that would mean you wouldallow him to do that. And if you allowed him to do that, it meant you weren’tstrong enough, compelling enough; and he wanted nothing than perfection in hisown, twisted, way. So when he presented himself with your favorite food, yourfavorite items, your favorite words and topics, anything to win you over, youcould do nothing than lower your walls and let him in as his grip gotsuffocating and bruising, but slowly enough that you didn’t notice the changein the pressure against your skin or your mind.

You were good toeach other. At times, you would lose your temper and he’d just dismiss it withclinical, cold joviality as you walked away for a period of time, enough tocool off. You would rarely change your mind when you denied him something, andMelone was never the type to violently take what he wanted if he could help it,but he admired your tenacious perseverance in your quest for independence. Atsome point, you found yourself pushing him away more than you thought youneeded to do in a relationship of any kind, but you overlooked it for a bitwith the nagging notion that you had to be prepared to run away at any otherred flag waving from the man you called your lover.

In the end, you discoveredhis occupation, and you couldn’t stand the idea of being in the same room witha mobster. A dangerous one, too, if you had to consider the fact you could seehis figure around you every time you walked out of your own home after thebreak up. You hadn’t been nice or graceful, screaming all kind of profanities inhis face as he tried to drag you back into his apartment to discuss the matterfurther. But it didn’t matter ultimately, because you were still stubborn,obstinate, pigheaded.

Trying with allyour might to claw away from him, from everything he gave you and he could giveyou. Didn’t you see that man wasn’t the right one for you? Was Melone being toopassive, too nice? Maybe you were the same, perhaps you wanted someone whocould show their affection with passion, ardor, fervor, burning down the worlduntil there was nothing left but the two of you. And Melone could offer youthat, he knew he could shape your vision until you could only see the parts youloved about him. Because the two of you were perfect together.

And he wantedyou to understand that. That was why he decided to come forward, after so muchtime, and relish in the look on your face as your eyes went wide, when yourvoice shakily urged the idiotic toy you used to occupy your time to escape,with no time to waste or to explain. The bravery that man showed wasn’tadmirable at all, not when he was lying on the ground with a halo of bloodsoiling his hair, his clothes, kissing the sole of Melone’s shoes. You werepetrified, he could tell, but he didn’t mind the fear mixed with sorrow extinguishingthe light behind your eyes.

“My dear,” herested his slender hands on both sides of your face, without caging youphysically. Yet, you didn’t feel the strength to move at all. Melone wantednothing more than to rip apart your clothes, any trace of his presence on you.Maybe in that exact moment you couldn’t see what he was doing, that he wassaving you from a path you were walking with someone who didn’t deserve anythingfrom you besides indifference. His words came out with a hushed breath, as ifhe was trying not to sigh while talking, “We can go back now.”

As if a wake-upcall you were waiting for, his voice made you flinch and come alive. You slappedhis hands away, backing down until you could feel the door of the buildingagainst your back. Melone, in all his tranquil serenity, was slowly stalkingtowards you as if he had all the time in the world to simply take you with him,drown you into a relationship you didn’t want anymore. Your hand searched forthe knob, ready to throw the door open and flee, helped by the darkness of thenight to go undetected by the degenerate in front of you.

“Don’t try toresist, there is no reason to!” His voice was too cheerful, too grating to yourears, and it only made you grit your teeth until your jaw hurt. In the exactmoment you took hold of the doorknob, Melone was in front of you with extendedarms, his hands resembling claws of a beast ready to rip you apart withferocity. He was too close for you to have much moving space, and you decidedto do something about the complication; he was too preoccupied with his coos tosee your leg raising, a kick right in his stomach enough to make him hunch overand fall to his knees as you moved to open the door and run for your life.

Just when youwere savoring the taste of freedom and relief, you heard quick steps behind youand then the world just crashed, turned upside down, as you tumbled down on thecold, raw asphalt of the parking lot of your home.

Despite hisweight on you, you attempted to wriggle and crawl forward to sneak out fromunder him, but he pressed down with anger tensing his muscles. You had neverexperienced this level of fury from Melone, his growls, his teeth barred, histight grip on your arms as he pinned you facedown against the floor. You feltthe pain in your legs, where you hit the pavement first, burning and wet withblood. His hand shot up to your head and held it in place, pressing down untilyou could feel nothing but the strain on your skull from the force.

When youwhimpered, letting a glimpse of weakness shine through, Melone tugged at yourhair and made you arch your back with a flexibility you didn’t possess. Youcouldn’t really see him, not with the blur in your vision as he appeared infront of you, his long hair cascading on your cheeks with mocking delicacy. Youtried again to wriggled, raising on of your arms to try and attack him somehow,but the lack of support made you slump in a painful way that made you see stars.A groan escaped your throat, and the tension against your back worsened as hewanked you again.

“Why do youinsist on tainting this?” His words held the same calm he was used to employwhen he was simply arguing with you, impersonal and distant, like if ice wasclinging to each word. You didn’t answer, both because of the stress your bodywas subject to in that precise moment and because you didn’t want to give himthe benefit of your voice. At your silence, he sighed like he was dealing witha rowdy child, accompanying the soft huff with a violent slam of your headagainst the floor. He stood up right after, walking towards the door left openand searching for something there.

You assumed hethought you were knocked out or dead, because leaving you alone like that was arisky action in such a situation. With shaking fingers, you reached into yourpocket to fish for your phone and try to dial the police. You couldn’t seeproperly, and you cringed at the loud ring of each key pressed, but youcontinued with your attempt even when you saw a shadow walking towards you inthe dim light coming from the hall and the moon. A hand came down to snatch thedevice from you, the voice of someone coming from the speaker like a derisivetaunt – “This is the police, what is your emergency?”.

“Darling, loveof my life,” from him, from his voice, distorted by the pain and the contempt, thosewords sounded like icy lava. In a way, you hoped he would get angry enough tosimply kill you and leave you on that floor, abandoning any pretense ofcivility or care. But you could hear the sick fondness buried under the cold ofthat detached words. You felt like puking from the sheer loathing you felt inthat moment – or maybe it was the pain. His voice now felt far away, as youwilled yourself to fall into the pit of a restless slumber, “You betrayed anyhope I had for us. But it’s okay, we can repair it with time.”

The last thingyou saw before passing out was your phone shattered against the hard asphaltnear your head, the splinters of plastic and components landing on your face.The last thing you felt was his arms wrapping around you, staying still for a quicksecond as if he was cherishing the sensation of your body against his, before pickedyou up with a sharp tinge of pain all over your body.

After that, youlet yourself go unconscious. You didn’t want to be there for what was next,whatever it was.

[xxrainbow-princessxx]

Surprise - Leo x Isabella

Our star crossed lovers find themselves again feeling the pull of their relationship knowing that someone will end up broken-hearted soon enough. ❤️

@drakewalkerfantasy @loriwrites @lorirwritesfanfic @debramcg1106 @rainbowsinthestorm @romancehereicome @desireepow-1986 @liam-rhys

Liam, Leo, Drake and Maxwell filed into the Laurentian VIP spectator box that overlooked the Royal Racecourse. Their Cordonian guests were dressed in the best designer suits patiently waiting for the Crown Princess to open the event. Leo straightened his jacket as he sat down taking a sip from his champagne flute. The Cordonian Crown Prince looked as handsome as ever in his burgundy and black suit and black out aviators. The Laurentian women fauned over the sandy blonde haired male sighing as they caught a glimpse of his smouldering, enchanting grin but for once Leo wasn’t interested in the women around him as they giggled vying for his attention  - his eyes were fixated on the petite brunette who was currently being escorted onto the stage by her betrothed soon to be husband. Leo’s grin and carefree attitude immediately disappeared as he watched Max place his hand on Isabella’s waist. Leo hated that man with every part of his being and right know all he wanted to do was punch him in the face for putting a finger on her.

Leo’s knuckles turned white as his grip tightened around his glass, jaw clenching knowing there was not one thing he could do as he watched the spectacle below. Isabella turned up her nose as she felt Max touch her, cringing as she stepped away from him. The Crown Princess’ long, dark tresses cascaded down her chest, flicking down her back as she looked over her shoulder towards Max. Away from public view, Isabella’s almond shaped eyes narrowed as she seethed, “Don’t ever touch me again...” to the man she was duty bound to marry, “...or I’ll have Javier cut your hand off!” The was nothing more repulsive to the Princess than someone making her feel like she was property. As Isabella turned on her Jimmy Choo heel, the petite brunette smiled warmly, waving out towards those in the crowd. As she looked forward, Isabella’s eyes locked onto the Cordonian Crown Prince, subtly winking at him before addressing those in attendance, “Buenas tardes amigos y familiares. Por favor disfruta las festividades de hoy...”

The Crown Princess was stunningly beautiful dressed in a strapless black and white midi dress that emphasised her beautiful shape, contrasting against her olive, sun kissed skin. All eyes were on her, but Isabella’s only searched for Leo’s, no longer seeing him within the crowd. With today’s festivities now ongoing, Isabella could finally relax and allowed her to mingle with those in attendance and not have Max breathing down her neck. As the Crown Princess made her way back through to the Racecourse building she was escorted across to where her glamorous mother Gisele was seated. Unfortunately Isabella’s father was not well enough to attend this year but she was happily surprised as she began to coyly smile, “Hola Señor...” Isabella’s mother was blushing as she giggled, hanging on the every word of their visitor, “Having you around us is good for the soul...” tapping his arm.

Leo began to grin as Isabella sat down beside them, the mischievous Crown Prince leaning in to kiss both her cheeks before whispering into her ear, “Hello beautiful...” which brought a shiver down her spine. Isabella’s dazzling bright smile couldn’t be contained due to Leo’s brashness infiltrating the Royal box. It was definitely a power move on Leo’s part ensuring that Maximilian Rodríguez knew he had no reason to be there. Isabella and Leo were both completely enamoured with one another, giggling and flirting throughout the first Polo match. It wasn’t a secret within both Isabella and Leo’s inner sanctum that they both adored one another and Queen Gisele quietly supported the union - she had never saw her daughter or the Cordonian Crown Prince as happy as they were together, both of them miserable apart. Gisele knew deep down that both Isabella and Leo were made for one another, she knew from when they were kids it was destined to be; who was she to deny them love before their Royal lives were due to take over.

Gisele leaned against her daughter, “Mi querida...” she whispered, “You two go... I believe...” she smiled warmly towards Leo, “...This young man has a surprise for you...” Leo made his move first, Isabella five minutes later to make it look less suspicious before Leo escorted her to a waiting Bentley Continental that was parked in the underground of the building to ensure their privacy. “Age before beauty...” Leo smirked, bowing as he opened the door and gestured for her to get into the passenger side of the car. Clicking her seatbelt, Isabella looked slightly confused as Leo got behind the wheel, “Where are we going?” asked the Princess as she tucked a piece of hair behind her right ear. Isabella’s dark chocolate brown eyes widened as she questioned Leo, glittering in anticipation and excitement. Leo bit down on his lower lip, drinking in this picture. He felt like the luckiest man in the world as this exotic beauty looked into his eyes.

“Kitten...” he cooed, tilting her chin slightly upwards before kissing her exceptionally gently, “we have reservations...” Isabella raised her brow as he put his foot down onto the accelerator, the engine roared as they began to drive out of the facility. The tinted windows masked their presence as they drove through the traffic heading towards the South of the Kingdom both of them relishing the freedom they had, taking in the beautiful landscape around them. Isabella reached out, brushing her hand against Leo’s as it rested on the gear stick. It was bliss. Why couldn’t every day be like this? Leo began to brake slowly as they finally arrived at their destination, “I hope you like it...” Leo grinned as both of them exited the vehicle and he placed his hand on the small of her back escorting her towards the door. It looked like a normal house and Isabella was extremely confused.

“Your Royal Highnesses...” a familiar voice boomed, smiling towards them both as he bowed, “Carlo...” Isabella giggled, “It’s so good to see you!” The chef began to gesture towards a table that had been set up in a beautiful baroque styled room, darkened by the black out curtains to protect their privacy; the only light source in the room were the strategically placed candles that flickered making everything feel so romantic. Carlo was one of the few who knew of the pairs secret - Carlo being Queen Gisele’s personal chef. Leo pulled out her chair for her, pushing it in as Isabella sat down, “Mi amor...” she cooed, her thick accent rolling off of her tongue, “What a wonderful surprise...” Leo gently caressed the Princess’ cheek with the side of his hand, “Happy birthday Kitten...” Leo smiled, “I thought I’d surprise you a week early...” Isabella began to slightly blush but became distracted with each food course that arrived. It was the Princess’ twentieth birthday the following Wednesday; counting one more year to when she had to marry Max as stated in law.

She and Leo laughed, Leo stared at the Laurentian beauty, completely enchanted as they ate dessert, Isabella raised her brow slightly, “What are you staring at? Do I have chocolate?...” she began to look around herself as Leo chuckled “...Oh... sorry... it’s nothing!” Leo knew how lucky he was to have her in his life; she was so unassuming, so naturally beautiful she didn’t even realise how gorgeous she was. Leo checked his watch before heavily sighing, “We might need to head back...” Isabella pouted her crimson red lips knowing that Leo was right but to even have this time together, the Princess was grateful. Leo leaned in, cupping Isabella’s heart shaped face as he kissed her, savouring every second until he pulled away. “Bella...” he sighed as he reached into his suit jacket pocket removing a navy blue box before handing it to her. Isabella’s long dark eyes lashes fluttered, her perfectly manicured fingers opened the Harry Winston box, her mouth opening as Leo presented her with a pair of pear drop 15 carat diamond earrings.

Her doe like big bright eyes looked up at him as she began to shake her head, “Mi amor...” she begged, “... this is too much...” all of this, she gestured, “...was enough... thank you...” Leo slowly shook his head as he chuckled, “No beautiful... it’s the least I can do because I would give you the world if I could...” he started becoming lost as his eyes met hers, he could always pick out those golden flakes that glistened against the warming candlelight, “...And if things were different... that box wouldn’t have contained earrings...” Leo reached out holding onto Isabella’s hands,” I love you Isabella... more than life itself...” The petite brunette tried to blink away her tears as her bottom lip trembled, “I love you too...” kissing the Crown Prince passionately. Those around them could only feel their heartbreak as they parted. Leo tried to smile as Isabella reached for the box, placing the earrings in one by one fighting through her own pain, she smiled, “I’ll cherish them forever...”

The journey back was a little quieter, both were happy to cherish the moments they had as they returned to the Racecourse. Isabella returned to the Royal box and Leo to Liam, Drake and Maxwell. “The prodigal son arrives...” Liam began to laugh, “We were wondering if you had fled the country...” Leo shook his head, running his fingers through his sandy blonde hair, “No brother...” Leo began to chuckle, “...this place is like a maze...” Drake handed the Crown Prince a tumbler of whiskey, “You need to catch up before we need to catch our flight...” Maxwell slowly frowned, “Are you guys not staying for Bella’s birthday party?” Leo turned to Maxwell, his brow raised over his aviators intrigued, by this change in events “Party...?” Maxwell grinned widely, “It’s a surprise! When you were off doing god knows what... I spoke with Auntie Gisele and she told me to invite you all to stay at the Palace for the next few days...” Leo’s mood finally picked up, smiling like a Cheshire Cat, “I knew I always loved Gisele...” he laughed heartily, “Boys... we can’t refuse the invitation of a Queen now can we?” Liam rolled his eyes slowly exasperated at the thought of babysitting Leo for another few days, “Here we go again...”

[wallwriterstuff]

These Violent Delights ||Alec Volturi x Female Reader||

Part 3 of a request for @tiger-khans-blog​

Part 1 - Obsession  Part 2 - When You’re Lost I’ll Leave My Gaslight On 

Warnings: Yandere!Alec, obsessive behaviour, unhealthy relationships and implied non-con later on. This is possibly one of the darkest fics I have ever written so please be aware if controlling behaviour, gaslighting etc. is triggering to you, do not read this fic. 

This fic in particular contains graphic descriptions of violence and injury further down. 

Words: 5543

Summary: With no idea what is and isn’t real anymore you’re beginning to lose your mind and suspect your loving mate isn’t all he seems to be. Desperate for some semblance of sanity you try one last time to clear your head, and the consequences are dire. 

Demetri had suspected that there was something more going on beyond the surface. Y/N Swan was quite a sweet little thing and he had missed her greatly, but he respected her decision – as had Felix – to create some distance between them so she could learn to get along with Alec. Now Demetri was wondering if she’d ever made that decision at all. With increasing frequency Alec had burst into his room or the throne room with the declaration you were missing, and Demetri had immediately put his gift to good use. In almost all the situations Demetri had prepared for the worst, perhaps he’d find you kidnapped or injured somewhere after an outing gone wrong? But every time he’d found you you had been perfectly fine and dreadfully confused as to why he was there at all.

You were always doing quite mundane things. He didn’t even need to track you half the time to tell Alec you were at that little café whose pastries you adored. Sometimes you ventured further out, wanting to see the leaves changing colour in autumn in the park nearby. Other times you were literally right on their doorstep, drawing on the edge of the fountain. On those occasions Demetri stayed with you, letting you have a few minutes more of freedom, because he had started to notice a disturbing pattern – every time he found you you looked more and more lost. You had adamantly refused to accept Alec had not seen your note the first few times, but the doubt slowly crept in until you were entirely unsure of what you had or hadn’t done. Alec was never violent upon your reunion, playing the part of the concerned mate perfectly. He was always so relieved to have you back, but the boy seemed oblivious that you were obviously suffering.

You had lost that spark you used to have in your eyes, and your posture had become more slumped over. You were meeker, agreeing to whatever was put forward to you without question more often than not. Demetri was sure he could tell you the sky was purple and you’d whole heartedly agree, even if the blue was staring you right in the face. Your withdrawn personality didn’t seem to trouble Alec but it bothered him greatly. He wasn’t sure how it had happened but you were a shell of your former self, an anxious, meek little thing who looked nowhere near as happy as she should given she had found her mate. He had caught you in the kitchen once, tired from a day of studying Italian with Marcus as you had become want to do, berating yourself for dropping a pan on your toes while cooking. To say he was surprised to hear your cursing your ‘clumsy human hands’ was an understatement.

No, no Demetri was beyond suspicious, especially when you began to go ‘missing’ more frequently, looking more and more desperate each time he found you further and further out. You had fought him the last time he found you, pounding against his chest and begging him to not take you back. His concern had brought him in all good faith to Alec’s door while you slept one night.

“What can I do for you?” Alec asked, head tilting curiously. Demetri frowned.

“It’s about Y/N. I have some concerns, Alec.” He answered. Alec’s frown immediately depeened, his eyes growing darker.

“What concerns? Is she sick? She seemed fine when I left her to sleep.”

“No, no nothing like that, though I fear her mind may not be healthy. She seems…anxious, desperate to be out of the castle. Is there something going on Alec?” he asked. Alec’s already dark eyes turned black, the red leeching out of his irises so fast Demetri was almost shocked. His expression was cold as an arctic wind and his voice held little room for argument when he answered him.

“That is of no concern to you, she’s shared her worries with me already. You overstep Demetri, she’s my mate and I’ll care for her how I see fit.”

“I simply want to know if there is anything I can do to help. It’s no secret we care for the girl to Alec, let us help.” He frowned.

“What she needs from you, Demetri, is to be left the hell alone. Stop filling her head with poison. I know you talk at the fountain. She’s upset because you suggested she might be allowed to visit her family one day. They haven’t written to her in months, the false hope crushed her. Leave my mate to me and stop poking your nose where it doesn’t belong.” He snarled quietly. Demetri hissed quietly, his irritation flaring.

“What are you talking about? A letter arrived for her Tuesday gone.” He received a door to his face as his answer, the wood actually splintering a little with the force Alec slammed it with. He knew you had been getting letters frequently from the Cullen’s and your sister, he had seen some of them when the secretary was sorting the mail out, so why hadn’t you been getting them? If you were in such a deep spiral surely it was a contributing factor. The only thing he could think of was that the secretary hadn’t delivered them. But why? he flitted straight to her desk without another moment to spare, finding her packing up to leave for the evening. She jumped at his sudden appearance.

“Demetri, I didn’t see you there, how can I help you?” she was a new girl, the fourth one in the past two months, and he didn’t care to remember her name. His head tilted.

“You received a letter the other day for Y/N Swan did you not?” he questioned, leaning against her desk. She frowned, nodding.

“I did, I gave it to Alec to deliver, did it not reach her?” she asked, looking somewhat anxious now. Demetri paused, letting his mind work it over. So, Alec had been supposed to deliver that had he? How many more had he gotten his grubby little hands on? Demetri felt a quiet sense of horror dawn on him. It made a lot more sense suddenly, why you weren’t getting any of your family’s letters. Alec had taken them all to keep you from getting in touch with them. Was your silence towards himself and Felix the same? Orchestrated by Alec so not even you knew the real reason the three of you no longer spoke?

“Not on this occasion. Not to worry, thank you for your help, sweet thing.” He shot her a charming smile to mask his sudden anxiety and disappeared as quickly as he came, heading straight for the throne room. Maybe you hadn’t been going mad at all, maybe Alec was the one driving you insane…

“What is the meaning of this intrusion?” Caius growled, beyond annoyed with the way he had flung the door open in his haste. Demetri grimaced.

“My apologies Masters, but I need to talk to you urgently.”

You had to get out this time. The walls of old buildings scraped at your hands as you bolted down one alleyway after the next, swinging around corners and doing your best to stay upright as the cobblestones did their best to trip you. You couldn’t take it anymore. Your anxiety was at an all time high, panic attacks in the morning a common thing as you dreaded the day ahead – another day of disappointing Alec in all your human imperfection. There was no one you could turn to for comfort either, not with Demetri so busy all the time. He was less of a friend and more of a guard, dragging you back each time you left as Alec had promised you his duty as a guard entailed. The worst part was that you knew your feelings of inadequacy were completely unnecessary because you weren’t the one in the wrong, Alec was.

It had become more and more obvious he wasn’t letting you leave the castle, and sneaking out when you could became your one chance to see sunlight, to have any sort of freedom. When you’d tried to ask him about it he’d brushed you off again, telling you you were being silly and reminding you of all the times he’d taken you out to the Gardens, all the gifts you’d been given as apologies for missed opportunities to venture out into the world…but he’d been lying as long as you’d known him. Maybe he had learned to control his urges, but not his darkest impulses. Alec had wanted you all to himself and he had managed to succeed with his lies and deceit. It had been a complete accident, when you came across the mountain of lies he’d told. You had been waiting to surprise him (having stayed up to wait for him to finish his guard shift) when you spilt a glass of apple juice down your shirt. His closet was the closest place to find a replacement and it would hardly be the first time you’d taken a shirt of his.

The shrine in his closet was just too much.

Everything that had gone missing lay at an alter dedicated to you. Tears blurred your vision as the flash of ivory and familiar, scribbly writing permeated your mind once more. Letters – Bella’s letters. Your sister had never forgotten you. Alec had simply made you think she had. You had been right all along, the bundled-up letters proved as such, he had always been a monster. Selfish and ugly all the way to the core, Alec Volturi had never been your Prince Charming. How many other lies had he told? He’d isolated you until all you had was him, till you relied on him to get you through your day. No more. You tripped over your own feet, vision blurred by tears. The ground rushed up to meet you, a sharp sting ripping through your knee as you cried out, catching yourself with your hands before you could smash your face into the stone. Gasping for air, you tried desperately to fill your lungs, the rising hysteria making it difficult to steady your breathing. What if you couldn’t escape? Demetri always found you and he’d drag you back there, you knew he would. He couldn’t be allowed to find you, not this time, you had to keep moving and –

“Signorina?”

Your head snapped up, body scrambling to right itself despite the deep throbbing in your knee. A young man not too much older than yourself was slowly coming towards you, hands raised and expression concerned. He had a sort of roguish charm about him, tousled dark hair and equally as dark eyes (too lose to Alec’s angry onyx to be of any comfort) set in a tanned face. He had more colour to his skin than Alec could ever hope to have. With the sleeves of a plain white shirt rolled up to his elbows, top buttons undone and smart pants on, he must have been coming home from a shift as a waiter perhaps, maybe a barista in one of the fancier coffee houses in town, but you didn’t trust him at all. How could you trust anyone when the one person you had relied on had been a lying, manipulative, deceitful little –

“S-stay back.” You stammered, scrambling to get to your feet now. The tear in your skin oozed fresh blood, dampening your skin and making you whimper. It wasn’t that it hurt necessarily, though it did sting terribly, it was more the fear that you knew what lurked in the shadows of Volterra and if anyone smelled that…well, Demetri was a hundred times more likely to find you now, wasn’t he?

“I don’t mean you any…erm…ah…hurt?” he tried, his accent thick and his English clearly not at the level of fluency. If you were in a better state of mind you’d be at least grateful he tried, however he was still approaching you and you didn’t enjoy his proximity when you needed to move. You had to keep going, had to get to a bus stop or a train station, something! Was there even a place like that in Volterra? There had to be right? You took a step away from him, your leg failing you so you half fell, half limped forward. His arms were around you in an instant and you screamed, wriggling desperately to fight him off.

“Let me go! Let me go!”

“Merda! Smettila di lottare!” (Shit! Stop fighting!) he cursed, tightening his grip on you. Legs flailing, you threw your head back in a desperate attempt to get him to let go, your skull protesting as bone crunched beneath it. His arms dropped and you darted forward, only for your knee to give way once more. With another loud curse the boy was on-top of you then, glancing around wildly to see if anyone had noticed your scuffle yet. His weight atop you was almost suffocating given how much trouble you had already had breathing, and tears filled your eyes as you wriggled to try and be free of him.

“Get off of me! Help!” you screamed. Blood dripped from his nose onto your cheeks, hot and thick and oozing slowly down your cheek. “Stop it!” Strong hands encircled your wrists, pinning them harshly to the stone beneath you. It dug into your spine uncomfortably and it became very clear very quickly you were not escaping this boy.

“Stop!” he snapped, muttering a few choice words in Italian you had heard Felix use once or twice. His expression was contorted into a mask of pain, his nose swollen but not broken and his body holding tight to your own to keep you from moving. Your struggling was only serving to make you brush against him though, and it was clear the effect it was having on him was not helping him decide to let you go. If you had been in your right mind, you would have understood this boy was only trying to help, stop you moving to ensure you didn’t hurt yourself further, but in the moment your reality was warped and far too terrifying for you to see sense.  

“Fuoco! Fuoco!” (Fire! Fire!) Your father had always taught you to tell fire rather than help, it attracted more attention he said. You didn’t attract the kind of attention you wanted. The boy was thrown off of you in a blur of movement, his body smashing into the brickwork of the house across from you. You heard the bones shattering, his ear-piercing scream ringing in your ears as a black cloak obscured his attacker. With or without the cloak you knew who it was, the smaller, lean stature, the ferocity with which he tore into his victim. You whimpered, eyes turning away from the poor boy. There was no way to help him now, not when Alec was busy popping his bones through his skin like one might spear a sausage with a cocktail stick at a party. Rolling to your front, you tried desperately to get your trembling limbs to cooperate, your hysterical screaming echoing off of the walls.

You had barely limped three steps when the screeching behind you abruptly cut away into a gurgling sound. Ice cold hands found your shoulders and you whirled desperately to try and fend Alec off, only to freeze at the sight of the poor, mangled boy behind you. His actions may not have been good, but he didn’t deserve to be folded in on himself like a human pretzel, bones poking out of his skin and blood gushing from an open wound on his throat. He was drowning in crimson, choked by the same saccharine liquid Alec was licking off of his thumb now, onyx eyes boring into your own with his usual apathetic expression hiding the pure mania in his eyes.

He hadn’t even fed, he’d killed the boy for sport.

“See what happens when you go out alone little human?” he asked. The bile rose in your throat too quickly to stop it and Alec obligingly held your hair as you turned to the side and threw up at your feet, hot acid burning the back of your throat and stomach churning violently. Panting, you kept your wide-eyed stare fixed on the cobblestones. Even then it wasn’t enough, a trail of blood slowly seeping its way towards you, descending downhill like some morbid snake writhing between the stones. You couldn’t keep the tears away this time as Alec’s breath, metallic with the scent of another man’s blood, sent a wave of dizziness over you.

“P-please…please d-don’t…I can’t…” your head spun, too many thoughts and feelings crashing and colliding and rendering you a stammering mess before you finally grew mute, your body growing cold. Alec held you tenderly, like you were the only thing in the world to him that mattered, his embrace as soft as cotton but cold, as though death itself had shrouded you. In the distant parts of your mind you recognised he was talking to you, but you didn’t dare listen. He was the serpent that tempted Eve, a voice of velvet spinning spider webs to ensnare you. Dimly, you noted that the boy’s blood was running past your toes now.

Was this how it ended for you? Had Alec finally had enough of your obedience training? Clearly it hadn’t worked. You felt filthy to the core for enjoying his embrace, but his arms were strong and held you when your legs couldn’t anymore, his honeyed words a balm to your aching soul, promising his own brand of everlasting love - the same brand he’d gotten you hopelessly addicted to. Even his scent made your head swim, fresh linen that should be so crisp and clear, refreshing, just drowned you further. Nobody would come for you now. Alec had finally gotten you in his grasp just as he wanted and you were far, far too tainted for anyone to save. The wounds his love had inflicted too deep, festering and rotting you from the inside out, and the worst part was, you had let it happen.

You had accepted every kind word, every smile, every present, every touch, as a gift bestowed on you that you were unworthy of. So blinded by the dazzling display of redemption were you you hadn’t seen beyond the surface of the superficial affection he laid at your feet, too enamoured with all he had become to see the old monster lingering in every smile and darkening of his eyes. Alec had never changed, he had simply wore you down, so when his frozen fingers pushed your jaw upward and to the left you didn’t fight, because deep down you knew you’d never stood a chance.

“It’s alright Y/N, you’re only human,” he whispered, “You can be forgiven for that…”

“How?” your voice cracked. Forgiveness seemed impossible. If Bella or your father or anyone you loved could see you now you knew forgiveness would not be the word on their lips. How could you be forgiven for letting yourself fall so far? How could you be forgiven for being the reason that poor boy didn’t go home tonight? He had chosen to try and help you and it had only gotten him brutally murdered. The only thing Alec had ever been right about was that you were only human. None of the terrible things that had happened to you or anyone surrounding you were your fault. The blame lay solely at Alec’s feet.

“By acknowledging your flaws and becoming something more.”

Somehow, despite all the evidence before you, you really hadn’t expected him to bite down. Some part of you still thought he was above that maybe. It was like lava pouring straight from his mouth into your veins, filling your wound until it spilled over and shot down your arms, through your torso, scorching your nerve endings. It spread rapidly and you couldn’t bite back the bloodcurdling scream that left you. Alec held you tight as your body jerked, trying to escape the inescapable, the agony was all internal, a fire consuming you from the inside out.

“Alec! Alec what did you do!”

“What I had to to protect my mate!”

“Good god Alec…”

“Look at this mess.” The voices were indistinguishable, heightened and then muted, blending and yet distinctive. Your vision was too blurred to figure out the faces behind the cloaks swarming you, ripping you from one cold embrace to the next. Everything was too hot and you couldn’t escape it, no way to tear yourself out of your own body as it was flooded with acid.

“Shhhh, shhh little human.”

“Demetri get her out of here before she draws attention to this scene.”

“D-D-De-“ you barely got half of his name out before another scream broke through your throat. You didn’t have the strength to hold it back, couldn’t feel the grip your friend had on you. The world was slipping away inch by inch as you drowned in a pool of molten fire, the surface disappearing and taking you with it. Maybe this was hell? Maybe your weakness had earned you a spot in eternal fire and torment and this was only the beginning of a very long forever?

“Just give in Y/N, let go, just let go.” Somewhere through the pain you were sure Demetri had said this to you, and you battered heart didn’t know how to take it. It beat erratically, every frantic thud hoping beyond hope it would take you closer to a reunion with Bella, with the Cullen’s, with anyone you held dear. Did Demetri just want you to fall unconscious or did he mean you to really let go? What did you have to wake up for in Volterra after all? Alec would never let you leave, that much was clear now. You tried to hold onto these thoughts, really debate them and use them to ground you and keep you there, but they scattered like ash with the rest of you as the fire built to a raging inferno and melted everything you ever were.

The intense agony was all you knew now. What else could you do? Trapped in your head your only option was to count the seconds between one wave and the next, each drowning bout of flame lapping at your soul, disintegrating who you were piece by piece. By the time the fire had started to recede you weren’t sure how much time had passed, if time even had meaning. You were amazed your heart had held out under the assault of venom. It started at your extremities, like something in your chest was winching the fire back in, but as the sweet and numbing relief of the cold crept in at your toes the fire in your heart burned hotter. A grunting sound was the first thing you’d heard beyond the screaming in your head for a while, and you realised it was you, desperately fighting back the cry building in your throat as the white hot core in your chest blazed through the last of your humanity.

By the time you slumped back down, your consciousness drifting back to you slowly, you were struggling to remember how you had gotten in this predicament in the first place. Where were you? Who was around you? You wanted Bella, oh you wanted your sister so badly. The air around you felt heavier on your skin, saturated with sharp scents that overpowered your nose and made your tongue tingle when you opened your mouth for that first gasp of air. Your eyes were next to snap open, immediately focusing on the cracks in the wooden beams and the stone ceiling, the dust mites floating in the air. There was an assault of noise next, voices chattering and laughing, birds twittering, cars honking and more, so much more. Hands flying up to your ears, you noticed how it felt different to move, more fluid somehow, and the bright shine in the corner of your eye mad you sit up and move your hand back towards the light.

It glittered. Your hand was crystal, reflecting light and throwing it against the walls where it shattered into rainbow patterns, dazzling your too focused eyes.

“Y/N?”

Danger. Danger danger danger danger danger –

“Felix, give her time…it’s alright young one, we are not here to harm you.” Another foreign voice. You moved so fast everything should have blurred, your body twisting and turning  agilely as you shot off of the soft mattress and hit the hard wall with crushing force, stone chipping and falling around you while you dug your nails into the natural rock of the wall. The noise that ripped from your throat was threatening, air rushing up from your lungs and pushing out between your teeth. It shocked you enough to make you freeze, brain scrambling to catch up because there was no way that noise had come from you. Wait, who were you again? Who were they? The voices seemed familiar, but different, their faces to. The men were beautiful in a way nobody should ever be allowed to be, the flawless planes of their faces also reflecting diamond light across the walls as one slowly crept closer to you. Another hiss of air escaped your throat, warning him to stay back.

“Now who needs to give her time.” Felix, that’s what he’d called him…Felix! Your mind dredged up the murky images on demand, and you couldn’t help but frown as you tried to clear the image in your head. It was like watching the memories flow through dirty water, Felix and Demetri helping decorate your room with you, avoiding you in the corridors, no longer talking to you because Alec –

Alec!

“No.” you whispered, startled again into standing up straight, hand flying to your throat as a foreign, bell-like voice rang out. Demetri paused, letting your wild eyes take in the room.

“He is not here Y/N, the Masters’ are punishing him for his…indiscretion, by making him miss your awakening.” Felix chose his words carefully as Demetri slowly continued forward. It was so hard to focus, so much noise, so much to see, so many thoughts spinning rapidly through your mind. It worked faster now, you noticed, your brain working at top speed in a way you knew you’d only achieve with a substantial amount of caffeine if you were still human. Thoughts of Alec consumed you. Where was he? What had become of the boy he had murdered? Would he be kinder to you now you were no longer human? No longer imperfect…

“Y/N, try to focus, I know there is a lot to process right now.” Demetri sounded apologetic almost and your eyes snapped to him.

“I want to go home.” You whispered. Even as you said the words there was an uncomfortable tug in your gut, like something sharp had nicked at your intestines almost. The idea made you uncomfortable.

“What you need right now is to feed.” Demetri amended, his hand gentle on your arm. His words started an inferno in your throat. It was like the worst sore throat you’d ever had multiplied ad infinitum, the burn scorching from top to bottom while your gut twisted horribly. You weren’t just hungry, you were starving.

“Of course that’s what she needs, what newborn doesn’t?” the voice was smooth, so hypnotic you couldn’t help but relax, silently pleading to hear more. If your blood hadn’t already frozen over, you swore it would have upon seeing Alec again. He held what you assumed was the secretary in his arms, given her smart attire, but it was difficult to focus on little else other than the thrumming of her pulse, the tattoo in your brain even more hypnotising than his voice had been. Neither Demetri nor Felix could catch you as you dipped beneath their arms and snatched the body straight out of Alec’s hands, desperate to stop the burning in your throat.

“Y/N don’t!” Demetri’s voice sounded far off, almost like you were listening to him through cotton wool. The sound of blood flowing, a heart thumping…it was far far louder. Your body moved on autopilot, teeth clamping onto soft flesh. After that first burst of sweet, hot blood, your mind went completely blank. The taste was sublime, so intense on your tastebuds like nothing else had ever been. It soothed the fire in your throat some, a torrent of red dousing the flames and soaking your skin. When you could no longer take mouthfuls of the saccharine substance, a needy whine bubbled up in your throat, the tap running dry far too soon for your liking. Your throat still itched.

“Shhhhhh, I know, I know. Do not worry my love, we’ll find you more.” That voice, that hypnotic voice…with the fire in your throat calmed somewhat it was clearer in your ears, helping to ease your desperation and focus your mind some. The fingers in your hair were gentle, the occasionally brush of their skin against yours warm and inviting. You leaned into the tender touch gratefully. There was a scent too, the most intoxicating, fresh linen and pine scent, a hint of something smoky lingering underneath. Inhaling deeply, you let strong arms pull you into a firm chest, taking in lungfulls of that heady scent and letting your turbulent thoughts calm to the rhythm of the fingers running through your hair.

“Alec…”

You gasped slightly, eyes snapping open from your half-lidded gaze. The name had filled you with fear, trepidation, but the sensations surrounding you right now…you were in a safe, hazy little bubble, it was difficult to feel the fear you thought you should. You had totally forgotten he was even in the room and it was no small shock to you that he was the one holding you, that he had created this internal sense of tranquillity you were drowning in.  

“I will not let my mate starve, the Masters’ and their punishment be damned.” The smooth bass of a sprightly young voice that filtered in your ears was so similar yet so different. Alec’s voice was nothing short of mesmerising and when you looked up at him his face was just as distracting. Smooth, flawless skin, pale as the moonlight on ocean waves, stretched like an unblemished canvas across high cheekbones and a strong jaw. You could trace the perfect curve of dark eyebrows with your finger, run your hands through the soft tresses of dark hair that framed his face and brushed his eyes. Crimson red eyes peered into your own, softened by adoration and desire.

It was as if your very heart burst forth from your chest to reach out to his. You never wanted anyone else to look at you the way Alec did. Suddenly, nothing he did had mattered, because you were the imperfect one before. This man before you…you saw it now with your new eyes, saw his God-like status for what it really was. You had been unworthy until now. He had elevated you to the same status, was able to love you deeply now.

“Alec.” You breathed his name like it was a quiet prayer. His fingers moved from your hair to your jaw, slowly tracing over your cheekbone with his thumb.

“Welcome back. You are…you’re breath taking.” He gently lowered his forehead to yours and you pushed back lightly, desperate to envelop yourself in the warmth his skin now radiated.

“Really?” you whispered.

“Of course.” Alec promised. You closed your eyes, drowning in his heavenly scent.

“Y/N…you’ll need to feed some more. Perhaps we can then contact the Cullen’s and see about getting you home. We don’t usually allow newborns to stay in the castle.” Demetri spoke up finally, shattering the peaceful quiet surrounding you. That pinching sensation in your gut was back again, your eyes widening. Alec had finally accepted you! You were finally good enough and Demetri just wanted to – to send you away? No. No absolutely not. Any thoughts of going home that you had once entertained were long gone. You couldn’t leave now, not when you had to show Alec how grateful you were, how you were better now like this.

“Do I have to go?” you whispered. Alec shook his head.

“Of course not Y/N, your place is here, with me.” His lips were so soft on your own, a shiver rolling down your spine at the rightness of it. He was your perfect fit. You were made for all of his light and dark, to bear the brunt of his best and worst. You hadn’t been before, but you were ready now, ready to survive his obsession.

These violent delights have violent ends

And in their triumph die, like fire and powder,

Which, as they kiss, consume. The sweetest honey

Is loathsome in his own deliciousness

And in the taste confounds the appetite.

Therefore love moderately. Long love doth so.

Too swift arrives as tardy as too slow. Friar Lawrence, Romeo and Juliet, Act 2 Scene 6, by William Shakespeare

[beca-mitchell]

Prompt: Beca realises she has a toner for Chloe...

I was gonna write a headcanon, but instead of that, this lil drabble was born…Thanks for the prompt! The title is from The Head and The Heart’s “I Found Out”.

it’s the love that you might find

word count: 1686

summary: Five times Beca almost comes to a realization and the one time she finally does. I don’t think it’s super angsty, but maybe the slightest sprinkling of angst.

Read on AO3 or below.

one.

Beca has eyes.

That stranger was attractive, without a doubt. As pretty as she had been standing in the sunlight, imploring Beca to join the Bellas. Acapella of all things.

Just–

Maybe if Beca weren’t so mortified at having to perform an impromptu duet.

Scrubbing the back of her neck, Beca pauses. Maybe what? She asks herself. Maybe nothing. Shut up. Stop that.

She shakes her head, determined to ignore the sound of the giggles that echo around almost-empty showers.

She’s not going to let anything distract her from her goal of eventually moving to L.A.. Nothing. Nobody. Not even the prettiest girl she’s ever laid her eyes on.

two.

“I can see your toner through those jeans!”

Aubrey’s words ring in Beca’s mind. 

Beca kicks her shoes off her feet and faceplants on her bed.

Aubrey Posen is quite possibly the most ridiculous person she has ever met and Beca scornfully reminds herself that she has met a lot of ridiculous people in her life.

“What the fuck is a toner,” Beca mumbles. She twists, pulling her phone out from her pocket so she can scroll through her unread messages.

Jesse, Jesse, Kimmy Jin, Dad, Jesse, Chloe, Dad–

She pauses, scrolling back up to Chloe’s latest text message to her. 

Chloe BealeBecaaaa! Where’d you go!

She squints at the date and time, realizing that Chloe sent her that message during hood night.

Unbidden, flashbacks from the night float through Beca’s mind, persistent like a headache, though not nearly as painful. 

Chloe’s lips had looked impossibly soft and Beca knew she wasn’t imagining the blush on Chloe’s cheek even in the low light.

Chloe’s smile drifts through her mind like a haze. Beca kind of wants to lean in–

But lean in where? 

How?

She’s not–

Kimmy Jin chooses that moment to enter their shared room, startling Beca out of her reverie. 

“Uh,” Beca starts, wondering if Kimmy Jin can see guilt on her face.

Why am I feeling guilty?

“What are you doing?” Kimmy Jin asks, eye Beca warily.

Beca blinks and realizes she had been standing in the middle of their room, absentmindedly gazing at nothing. She does not need to give Kimmy Jin more reasons to distrust her.

three.

Beca bites her lip, glancing over her shoulder to make sure Amy isn’t lurking or about to pop out from some hiding spot and scare the shit out of her.

Once she realizes she’s alone, she quickly opens Chrome’s incognito browser.

Her fingers twitch over the keyboard. She’s not even sure why she’s nervous. It just feels like the oddest sense of guilt and jealousy and anxiety all rolled into one ball of a mess and now it has settled somewhere deep inside her chest like heartache.

Is it considered cheating if–

Her brow furrows and she slams the backspace key.

Is having dreams about your bes–

“God,” Beca mutters.

is it okay to have sex dreams about your best friend

She scowls at her screen. Then, she scowls down at her hands as she types again, glaring in an almost accusatory manner at her hands, as if they aren’t extensions of her mind, but rather acting of their own accord.

–your FEMALE best friend

“Hey!” Chloe chirps from just beyond the bannister. Beca jolts and quickly exits out of the window. She spins on her chair, offering the briefest of smiles.

“Don’t scare me like that,” Beca warns.

Chloe lifts a shoulder and smiles innocently at Beca. “But then who would keep you on your toes?”

Beca can’t really argue with that.

Forgetting her previous troublesome thoughts, Beca rises and follows Chloe down the stairs, ready to take on whatever challenges they might face together as co-captains – and better yet, as partners.

four.

Jesse peers at her. “Are you attracted to Chloe?”

Beca gapes at him, disbelieving. “You just broke up with me and now you’re spouting this shit again?”

It’s not a new conversation. Beca recalls that she had spat out her drink the first time Jesse had brought it up about a year and a half ago.

“I mean, it’s a valid question.”

“I never cheated on you,” is Beca’s response. Her throat feels tight. “I don’t have feelings for her.”

“That you’ve admitted aloud,” Jesse adds, lowering his voice and looking at Beca with sympathy.

Beca hates that sympathy.

“I mean, I think you really tried your best in this relationship, Bec,” Jesse says carefully. “And you don’t need me to tell you that.” He shrugs. “I love you and I know you love me, but just not in the way that means we should still be together as boyfriend and girlfriend.”

Beca honestly can’t believe this is the same boy who sang “Carry On Wayward Son” to her out the back of his parents’ car on a hot summer’s day in Atlanta.

“But I don’t have feelings for Chloe. She’s–” Beca gestures vaguely, like Jesse should understand her thoughts immediately.

Jesse opens his mouth like he wants to say more. But he just offers Beca a pleasant-enough smile, all things considered, and sits back in his chair.

four and a half.

Belatedly, as Beca lies awake that night staring forlornly at the empty side of the bed she shares with Chloe, Beca realizes that Jesse had only brought up the question of being attracted to Chloe.

She scowls.

That’s dumb, she tells herself finally, as she falls asleep. Anybody with eyes is attracted to Chloe Beale.

five.

Chloe’s lips are impossibly soft.

Like Beca always imagined them to be.

Chloe tilts her head, inching closer to Beca. Her fingers tighten momentarily around strands of Beca’s hair before her hand falls away.

They had just been talking. Talking and catching up and doing things that friends do.

Then–

“You kissed me,” Beca says numbly. Chloe has long since pulled back and her eyes shine with something almost unrecognizable. Only almost because the same emotion echoes somewhere inside Beca’s chest, desperately trying to claw itself out.

“I did,” Chloe replies. She bites her lip, leaning back on the couch. “Is that…okay?”

“I–”

And for once, Beca doesn’t have any distractions or any mindblocks to fall back on. All she has is Chloe sitting in front of her, looking simultaneously hopeful and terrified of her own actions. That feeling resonates with Beca and she honestly doesn’t know what to do or say in that moment.

“Why did you kiss me?” Beca asks weakly. “I–”

“I’m sorry,” Chloe says immediately. “I’m so sorry, I just thought–”

Beca stands up and paces, running a hand through her hair. Every moment - every memory - from the past six years comes rushing back and it sends such a shock through Beca that it roots her straight to the spot.

Behind her, Chloe sniffles and shifts. In her periphery, Beca sees her stand from the couch.

“I’m just going to go,” Chloe says softly. “I–I’m so sorry, I thought maybe you felt the same way and I just–” Chloe sounds increasingly distressed and Beca can do no more than to struggle out of her own thoughts so she can do something – anything before it’s too late.

Everything in Beca’s life feels like it’s a touch too late. Her life is the result of hesitation and wariness. Cautiousness. 

I’m sorry.

one, again.

Beca has eyes–

And every other functioning sense as well. The objectivity of sight and sound and touch were always enough for Beca, such that she let her brain run on autopilot and left her heart unattended.

I’m sorry, Beca thinks as her brain finally catches up to Chloe’s kiss.

But mostly it feels like she’s apologizing to her heart in some way. Apologizing for denying her heart the freedom it deserved; the freedom necessary to hold all the love and desire she has for Chloe Beale.

“Wait,” Beca calls, spinning on her heel. As quickly as the numbness had spread, it dissipates in a whoosh of air. Suddenly, Beca is breathless with love and affection, years of repression screaming out as she locks it away.

Some might not be so lucky to experience it all at once, but for Beca, it was a long time coming and she realizes she has been waiting a lifetime to embrace this–

Years to finally embrace Chloe Beale–

Chloe turns, halfway to the door. She looks surprised and concerned, ever the caring friend first and foremost.

“I don’t know–” Beca says, realizing she has no words prepared for this moment. “I don’t know how–”

“That’s okay,” Chloe says, almost as breathless as Beca feels. “Are you…?” Her question trails off, like neither of them are actually prepared for this.

She pulls Chloe in – one hand on her waist, the other lingering somewhere near the neckline of Chloe’s shirt (as close to her heart as she dares) – and kisses her like it’s the first day of the rest of their lives.

She can feel every curve of Chloe’s body vividly; she can feel the warmth of Chloe’s breath just before their lips meet again; she can feel Chloe’s lips against hers–

“Wow,” Chloe mumbles against Beca’s mouth. “Okay.”

If it were any other situation, Beca would have laughed a little at Chloe’s dorkiness, but she honestly can’t help but agree.

[alj4890]

Fluffy/Love Prompt

(Thomas x Amanda) with requests to see these two as parents

(Thomas Hunt x oc*Amanda) taken from my storyline And Then I Met You

A/N After yesterday’s angst post, I hurried to complete some fluffy ones. Here is one that came about while thinking of Thomas’s reaction to someone speaking baby talk to his infant daughter. His response is a personal head canon of mine, LOL.

Masterlist

@lxaah11 @alleksa16 @penguininapinktuxedo @blackcoffee85 @stopforamoment  @darley1101 @hopefulmoonobject  @krsnlove   @annekebbphotography  @gibbles82 @cora-nova @bella-ca @hopelessromantic1352. @sunflowergirl05 @desiree-0816 @greywitchyshots @lilyofchoices @emceesynonymroll @dr-nancy-house @aworldoffandoms @pixieferry@lolablackwrites @friedherringclodthing @i-bloody-love-drake-walker. 

We'll Be Fine

"I don't think I can do this." Amanda said for the tenth time.

"We'll be fine, won't we?" Thomas asked the baby in his arms. Kathleen smiled around her pacifier at him and gurgled.

Amanda grinned at the sweet sound and reached for her. Thomas transferred her over and watched the pacifier drop as Kathleen smiled even more. Their four month old daughter seemed to have quite a sunny disposition. She had begun to smile early on and was usually caught doing so while laughing at her parents. He swore she started smiling at two days old, regardless of what all the child development books said.

"I haven't been away from her, save for the couple of hours here and there for doctor appointments and such." Amanda repeated. "I can't go to New York for the day. Liam will simply have to make Rashad go with him to the meeting."

Thomas sat down on the edge of the bed as Amanda argued with herself and paced. Kathleen's smile fell and her dark eyes widened at the unusual tension.

Thomas cleared his throat and nodded toward the baby. Amanda froze and looked down.

"Forgive me, sweetheart." Amanda said softly. "Your mother doesn't know what to do."

Kathleen took the pacifier offered and her brow furrowed. She smiled again when Amanda kissed her nose.

Thomas stood up and tilted his wife’s face to his. He pressed a tender kiss to her lips. "Liam wouldn't ask you if he and Rashad were capable of dealing with the representatives. Kathleen will be fine if you are gone for the day."

She sighed and looked down. "I know you're right. I guess I better confirm everything with my flight crew." She handed Kathleen back to him.

_______________

"Don't forget to--" Amanda sank into his kiss. Her lashes fluttered open and she met his eyes. "Now I really don't want to leave." She muttered against Thomas's lips.

He pulled her in for another kiss. "Hurry home."

She nodded and told him she loved him. He opened the waiting car door and told her how much he loved her. "Don't worry. Kathleen and I will have a relaxing day at home."

She smiled at his trying to reassure her. "I'll call later. Try and get a few more hours of sleep before she wakes up."

Thomas leaned down and kissed her again through the lowered window. "Be safe."

She promised and waved goodbye. He watched the car drive off in the darkness. He walked back inside their California home and checked on Kathleen. She was sleeping peacefully in her crib. He quietly slipped out and fell back asleep in his bedroom.

__________

He woke up to his phone ringing. He reached blindly for it and glared at the alarm sound. He read what it was for and sat up with a start. He cursed and rushed about. Thomas was supposed to give a lecture today at the AFI.

While he finished buttoning his shirt, he hurried into the nursery at Kathleen's cry.

"Shh. Everything is fine. I'm here." He picked her up and changed her diaper. "You and I are going to have a slight change of plans."

Kathleen stared at him as he continued to speak calmly. Her cries stopped and she laughed when he pressed a kiss to her feet. He changed her into a dress and carried her downstairs.

As his coffee brewed, he fixed her a bottle and sat her in her bouncer. He prepared a few more to carry with him.

Thomas picked her up once more and fed her while explaining that he was taking her with him for the lecture. "I can't let you be without both parents today. I promised your mother that we would have a relaxed day together and I intend to keep that promise."

He wiped her lips and burped her over his shoulder. He pressed a soft kiss to her head and slipped some shoes on her feet. "Ready to see your father deal with a room filled with mediocre idiots?" He asked.

She smiled and waved her arms while sucking her pacifier. He buckled her into her carseat while telling her the key points he planned to address in his speech.

_____________

"Hunt!" Professor Bancroft exclaimed. "I wasn't sure whether or not you remembered about today's lecture."

Thomas nodded. "Of course I did." He readjusted Kathleen in his arms and looked toward the auditorium. "Is everything ready?"

The professor nodded before staring at the baby. "Is this part of your lecture?"

Thomas narrowed his eyes at him. "This is my daughter."

"Really?" Bancroft leaned closer. Kathleen's expression eerily matched her father's irritated one. She paused in sucking her pacifier and narrowed her eyes.

The bald man began to make goo goo sounds and such. She grunted and didn't smile once.

"Hmph." Bancroft straightened his sportscoat. "She is definitely yours. She doesn't possess a single ounce of humor."

"My daughter is an infant, not an imbecile!" Thomas snapped. "Like her mother and I, she prefers one to speak to her like the intelligent individual she is." He brushed past the ridiculous man and set the diaper bag down before greeting the class.

Kathleen smiled at him when he began his lecture. Thomas smiled down at her for a moment before glaring at the class. He suggested they take notes and watched as many scrambled to get the necessary materials to do as he commanded.

A hopeful actress stuck her hand up. Thomas cocked an eyebrow. "What?"

"Is that baby yours?" She asked.

"No. I found this in the art department and decided she added a certain je ne sais quoi to my outfit." When the young lady stared with mouth agape, Thomas snapped. "Of course she is mine! Why on earth would I carry a baby around while giving a lecture if she wasn't my child?"

Kathleen grunted and tried to get comfortable. Thomas set her against his shoulder as he continued the lesson. He gently rubbed circles on her back as he paced back and forth before the podium.

With his deep voice and steady movement, Kathleen rested her cheek against his shoulder and fell asleep. A sophmore jumped out of his chair and caught her falling pacifier. Thomas gave his thanks and spoke in a lower tone. A hint of a smile formed when he heard a soft snore coming from his daughter. She had lasted through the lecture longer than a few of the students on the back row.

He dismissed the class early and watched as they tiptoed out. He gathered his notes and her diaper bag.

"Here, let me."

Thomas looked up at Professor Priya Singh walking up to the dais. "Thank you."

She handed him his things. "Does your willingness to come, even with a child, mean you are going to accept the board's offer and teach full time?" Her sharp eyes softened. "You have been greatly missed these last few years."

Thomas shook his head. "With the need to divide time between here and Cordonia, I can't."

Priya sighed. "This is why I never wanted to marry or have a family. I need freedom to teach and create. I can't live with my art form stifled."

He narrowed his eyes. "Amanda and Kathleen do not stifle my creativity. If anything, they spark it in ways I didn't think was possible."

Priya's eyes widened at his harsh tone. "I meant no insult, Thomas."

He slung the bag over his shoulder and readjusted Kathleen. "Goodbye, Priya."

She reached out and stopped him with a hand on his arm. "Don't leave angry. Why don't you and I have lunch and catch up?" Her smile was inviting and held a hint of possibly rekindling their past relationship.

Thomas walked off without looking back. "I have plans with my daughter that can't be broken."

______________

"Hello?" Thomas answered.

"Where are you?" Holly demanded.

"Driving home. I had to give a lecture--"

"Get to the studio!" Holly yelled. "Leland St James will be there any moment for your interview!"

Thomas glared at the traffic. How had he managed to have things scheduled on the one day Amanda was called out of town. "I'm on my way."

He glanced at the rearview mirror. He could see Kathleen's reflection from the mirror he had placed in front of her rear facing carseat. She still slept peacefully. His phone rang again and he smiled. "How's the meeting going?"

Amanda grimaced and leaned against a window looking out over the New York skyline. "It’s going somewhere. I just haven't figured out the destination. I wasn't meant to be a businesswoman. Rashad has gone over pages of figures the last hour that I think might have caused my brain to bleed."

Thomas chuckled. "You won't believe our day."

Amanda grinned. "Try me."

"I forgot about that lecture I had this morning." Thomas began. "And apparently I told Holly to schedule an interview too."

Amanda's brow furrowed. "But, those weren't supposed to happen until the--" She realized the date. "I can't believe I forgot."

"It's fine. Kathleen assisted me in the lecture and she will definitely take the focus off me for the interview." He smiled when he heard Amanda laugh.

"I would have loved to see you teaching while holding her." Her smile grew at the image.

"There are most likely pictures floating about of it." He turned into the studio and waved at the guard. "What time do you think you will be home tonight?"

"Hopefully around ten. I honestly don't know why I was assigned to this. Liam knows I don't have the first inkling of software companies, much less any type of business sense."

Thomas reassured her of her intelligence and capabilities. "You have something Liam believes is beneficial to this or he and Rashad wouldn't have made certain you were there."

"I suppose." She looked up when Liam waved her toward the conference room. "Looks like I am summoned. I love you both. Give Kathleen a kiss for me and find me a picture of you two teaching."

He laughed softly as he repeated his love and promised to see what he could find.

He parked his car and went to carefully lift his sleeping daughter out of her carseat, only to find her wide awake. She smiled at seeing him.

"Ready for your first interview, Ms. Hunt?" He asked.

_______________

"I can't believe I get to be the first one to interview you with your daughter!" Leland exclaimed from his makeup chair. "I am going to be the envy of everyone."

Thomas rolled his eyes and muttered something about nonsense while feeding Kathleen. She looked up at him and laughed before continuing to drink.

"Any chance the duchess might drop in?" Leland asked. "To have the whole family will send viewers into the stratosphere with fluffy feelings."

Thomas shook his head. "Amanda was called to New York for a meeting today."

Leland deflated somewhat. "Oh. That's too bad." He cocked his head and looked at Thomas burping a baby and brightened. "I think we can still cause oohs and awes to happen with the two of you."

"Wonderful." Thomas drily replied. "That was my wish from the beginning."

Leland called out for his set designer and the two debated the type of chairs he and Thomas should sit in for the interview. After what the irritated director felt was too long of a discussion on a bluish green chair over a greenish blue one, Leland had him sit and began the interview.

Just as Thomas predicted, Kathleen stole the show. Her expressive eyes, big smile, and gurgles of laughter made even the unflappable talk show host want to sit and watch her. Questions moved quickly from a future project Thomas planned to film to discussions of life with Kathleen.

The proud father spoke at length of how she was not an ordinary baby. He smiled as she rested her head against his shoulder again. Leland made one of the camera men get a closeup of her facial expression as she drifted back asleep. The audience awed at the slight smile she had on her lips while her eyes drooped closed.

______________

It was dusk by the time Thomas pulled into the drive. He gathered his daughter and baby gear and went inside. He dropped the stuff on the kitchen table and took her upstairs to change her diaper.

After cleaning her up in a quick bath, he put her into a pair of pjs and collapsed in a recliner with her. "What happened to our lazy day?" He asked.

Kathleen pulled at the buttons on his shirt pocket while babbling.

He nodded. "I suppose you're right. I should have never answered my phone." Thomas looked at her and grinned. "Shall we continue your introduction to John Ford's acclaimed westerns? Rio Grande has Maureen O'Hara playing a rather fiery tempered lady named Kathleen. She reminded your mother of your Aunt Olivia and I believe that is why she was insistent that you be named that."

Kathleen looked up at him and smiled before resuming her attention to his pocket buttons.

"Excellent. I'll make us some dinner and we will watch the movie while we eat."

_______________

Amanda walked into the quiet house and sighed with relief. With Liam and Rashad by her side, the three had helped convince a software company to move their business to Cordonia. Numerous job opportunities would be available for their people.

She heard the mantle clock chime the late hour as she slipped her heels off. She opened the theater room door and smiled at Thomas and Kathleen asleep on the couch.

She knelt down beside them and couldn't help but chuckle at the thought of him teaching a class with their daughter in his arms. She would have loved to have seen it in person.

Thomas opened his eyes and and cupped Amanda's cheek. "You're home."

She pressed a kiss to his lips before picking Kathleen up. He sat up and ran his hands through his hair. He gathered the empty bottles and toys while she carried the baby upstairs.

"How did it go?" He asked when she met him in their bedroom.

"We were successful." She wrapped her arms around him. "And your day?"

"It went well. Kathleen was perfect during the hectic schedule." He sat down on the bed and yawned. "We missed having you here."

"I missed being here." She curled up against his side when he laid down and closed her eyes. Thomas wrapped his arm around her and pressed a kiss to her forehead. His eyes closed and he drifted off to sleep.

[opiaismarchive]

HEADCANON. andromeda black

i feel there are so many fanon ideas of andromeda’s relationship with her family, when it all broke down, what moments gave the proper spark that inevitably burned her from the tapestry. some i agree with / some i don’t - i think people really forget that andromeda is a black, and a slytherin - so here is how headcanon it and how i play it into my writing

andromeda has never been obedient. growing up as the second child, narcissa was born so close to her that her parents inevitably focused solely on her ( she was so small then ) and her oldest sister ( bella always was such a bright star ). but andromeda was never one to shy away and stay hidden - she grew relentless and vivacious. the lack of attention on her put andy into an interesting place; she was given some odd level of independence, a rare breath of freedom. she’d go climbing in her fancy dresses with her cousins, running in the open meadows and playing in the water. this is where she’d bring her sisters - to play outside, to take them to explore the grounds near their house and get lost amongst the trees. and she’d be punished - yelled at for the stains on her pretty skirts and the leaves on her hair. yelled at for missing dinner and talking back. yelled at for not wanting to read the dark books in their library and yelled at for asking questions when she was supposed to stay silent. none of this ever deterred her, in fact, it only pushed her further into her own self, and away from them.  

now i do believe there were times when she tried to make her parents somewhat happy - to stay quiet, to do as she was told - but it was like swimming against a current; it exhausted her beyond measure to stay still, because even what little she could offer, there was always something more and more demanded of her. so she stopped trying. why try to be what she was not - a good, obedient daughter like they wanted if it seemed it’d never be good enough? 

andromeda always has and always will have an enormous love for her family. she can be angry with them, furious, and still, love them. the black children did not have an easy childhood, by any means. her father was aloof - he played the role of the patriarch, far from her reach. sure, he was a giving father; andromeda always had the fanciest robes, the most exquisite gems and at times, he’d even give her something he’d think she wanted - antiques, maps, pets even. but andromeda has never felt like she could trust him. she was quick to grow distant from him. she’d begin to hide her bruises from his eyes, and even when she was happy, she’d not feel the need to share it with him. now her mother, andromeda was close to druella, once.  there was a time when she was a little child and felt safe in her mother’s arms. when she saw her overprotective nature as motherly love. druella is such a powerful, beautiful witch little andromeda could not help but want to be like her. this feeling died too soon once she was handed off to aunt walpurga and her infamous lessons; teachings in the dark arts that pushed her and her sisters and cousins to their limit and more. she’d beg often to her mother - how scared she was of her, how much she didn’t want to go - and druella’s inability to protect them slowly destroyed any trust she had in her mother. now they fight almost always. druella is tireless in trying to guide her daughter back to the path she thinks is best for her, and andromeda is relentlessness in her absolute refusal to hear her mother. why should she trust her now, when she’s almost an adult, when druella refused to protect her when she actually needed it?  when it comes to her sisters, it’s my firm belief bella, andy and cissy, together, are unstoppable. they proved themselves as such growing up, whenever they’d work together to get away with whichever antics their mischievous minds came up with. bellatrix was her partner in crime; they’d come up with the most devious little plans and covered each other’s back whenever needed. once cissy grew up, they’d figure out how to get her out of their mother’s grasp to play with them. bella played well the role of the older sister back then, inspiring confidence and challenging andy to be brighter and louder. now for her younger sister, narcissa has always been the light in andy’s eyes. she’d love playing with her hair and dancing with her under the rain whenever the moment allowed. and in many ways, narcissa was her moral compass; she resides in the most sensible and vulnerable parts of andy; if she was too upset, that’d be andy’s cue to pause, to slow down for a single moment. her family knew this too - cissy was the only person for whom andy would forgo her whims, if even for a little while. 

her relationship with her sisters and family, and some of her childhood friends began noticeably deteriorating when andy entered hogwarts. andromeda has such raw, passionate love that, aside from her sisters and cousins, she couldn’t share before and now she shares in vast amounts with those growing closer to her. her thoughts began to frame and give way to actions and values; her doubts began to grow and give way to resistance and disputes with her family. her biggest fear is to keep living a life that makes her unhappy; a life driven by perfection and expectations, dabbling too much in the darkness. i’ve always believed andromeda to dance in an extreme morally gray area. she’s neither fully good nor fully wicked. and while she has strong, passionate beliefs and values but she is ruled not ruled by righteousness, but by her own sense of fairness. 

andromeda is every bit of a slytheirn - she is loyal and cunning and wickedly ambitious - however, andromeda’s fight is for the freedom to simply be; be free of expectations and free of the tired weight of the disappointment and fear and that sickening feeling that who she is, is not good enough. she is driven by a desire for power over her own life. 

it is her wish for independence and her determination to stay true to herself that eventually, imo, lead to her disownment - she refuses to sacrifice her own sense of self. 

[flickandfika]

Review: Professor Marston and the Wonder Women (Angela Robinson, 2017)

Professor Marston and the Wonder Women is film based on - or inspired by, to be more accurate - the true story of Wonder Woman’s creation by professor William Moulton Marston. The iconic character ends up as a framework in the background - and surprisingly so does Professor Marston himself (played by Luke Evans). The two loves of his life, Elizabeth Marston (Rebecca Hall) and Olive Byrne (Bella Heathcote) take central stage in a risky ménage à trois.

Ah, biopics. Not my favourite genre - but I was intrigued to see how the polyamorous relationship would be treated in fairly-mainstream cinema, and how it would be linked to the Wonder Woman. The latter: not well, and the former: I have mixed feelings. The film's strengths can be easily flipped around to raise the question "wait-what-was-this-film-about-again?" The story starts in 1945 with professor Marston; he is being questioned about the morals of his comic. During the interview, we go back in time to 1920s, when he and his Elizabeth met Olive Byrne as they were working in Harvard and Radcliffe (women's college). Olive grabs Marston's attention right away, and he hires her to work with both him and his wife to develop a lie detector. While working together, they become friends and ultimately something more. When Olive gets pregnant, they need to make a decision; and start living as a family. During their family days, Marston starts writing his comics. Where performances by Rebecca Hall and Bella Heathcote are brilliant for their sensitivity to portray confused feelings going through the heads of the characters, the film lacks realism. Watching the movie, you are constantly reminded that this is a very fictionalised version of the real events. Yes, realism in context of the past is a slippery slope; and I do not think a biopic cannot take creative freedom. Interestingly though, the Marston offspring were never contacted about the film. And indeed - the love between Elizabeth and Olive so tenderly portrayed seems to be purely fiction, as the granddaughter of Elizabeth and William Marston, Christie Marston writes:

"We had a very close relationship. ... Silly societal taboos on sex and sexual preferences was a topic we covered thoroughly. Gram was very open-minded, and conversed clearly and freely. Gram was a firm believer that people should do whatever they damned well pleased; the only stipulation being maturity and consent. Gram and Dots [Olive] not only lacked that connectivity which couples have, but would have had no reason to hide."

What Christie Marston takes more issue with is the way creation of Wonder Woman herself is portrayed. Sure, it is fun to think that these two women were in love and professor Marston was just the third wheel; but doing so, the film also shifts Elizabeth's agency from creation of Wonder Woman, and denounces both of the ladies to Marston's mere muses which goes against their feminist views. In reality, Elizabeth was the one to tell her husband that the hero should be a woman. The way Wonder Woman has been framed as a backdrop is not strong enough to hold the balance of the premise of the whole movie.

Indeed, the indecisiveness about the story's centre makes the experience of watching the film so confusing. I am not sure if I am supposed to care about Wonder Woman or not - or care about Mr. Marston with less focus on his perspective. I am not sure if I am supposed to feel the pressure of hiding as rather than portraying ongoing pressure, we get only one very clichéd instance of backlash. The consequences do not feel severe enough to excuse and balance the drama following. I do not feel the love, when kinks are on the central stage with bizarre choice of Nina Simone's Feeling Good as soundtrack for the climax. As wonderful the song is, again the very underlined departure from the time period feels damaging to the already feeble sense of truth behind the story.

I am still not sure if the portrayal of the ménage à trois is too risky, or not risky enough. There is so much you could explore about the raised eyebrows and whispers, but all we see is a perfect happy life - and the one instance changes it all, making the reactions feel bit ridiculous; like children learning that life does not go always according to plan after all. On the other hand, the kinky sex seems like an unnecessary addition taking away from the more natural drama that could have unfolded.

Where professor Marston is the third wheel in the relationship, poor Wonder Woman is literally laughed at by the two women who inspired her. I think Angela Robinson does a brilliant job at portraying Olive and Elizabeth falling in love, but she took a too big of a bite in attempting to cover this story. I would rather see her telling an untold story of a confirmed woman-woman couple in the history; there is for sure a need for more stories like that, and there definitely are some juicy stories she could play with with bit more creative freedom without losing the charm of trying to attain the elusive truth.

★: 3/5 

[free-falling-grenade]

The Gazebo under a cherry tree

Also in here. Ao3

Chapter 1

The horrid sound of Beca's ringtone was something she despised nowadays. After her fame had reached its peak a year after the USO tour, it was definitely more work than she had imagined. Fame still at peak 3 years today but as a new and fairly known music producer which she preferred rather than being the performing artist. The 2 years singing career was enough to put her name out there as she used it to her advantage to show off her main talent.

Beca let out a distasteful groan as she managed to lift her heavy eyelids to the sound of the dull ringtone that echoed in her house. She let it ring. It was a Sunday, the only day off she had where she slept in till late afternoon and ate like a slob. However, a call on a Sunday morning meant they needed her. As reluctant and unwilling Beca was, she would get up and do it. Because that was all she could do.

As much as Beca loved her job, basically living the dream, working with amazing artists who wants her to produce their album, how exciting the rush of it all gave her; at the end of the day, going back to her beautiful, small Malibu home - it was lonely. Beca Mitchell at 30 years old, had some sort of social life, little to no love life and out right alone. She still had the Bellas, some visiting her when they could but with half of them like Stacie and Flo who had two children already and the other half, either focused on their own work, newly wed or just about to get married. The thought of marriage sent a wave of sadness to cloud all over her.

Her tired, exhausted and slightly hungover state managed to sit up turning her body to stare at the half burnt invitation that lay on her side table along with empty bottles of beer and an ash tray of blunts. She frowned at the sight. The reason for her wild Saturday night alone of getting wasted and high to almost burning her bedsheets while she tried to extinguish the excruciating painful reality that laid written on the fine printed paper.

You are invited to join us at

OUR WEDDING:

Chloe Beale

&

Chicago Walp

Come and be a part of the three day preparation including the wedding day!

Friday to Sunday. April 23rd to 25th at 2:00pm.

Chateau Elan Winery & Resort

100 Rue Charlemagne

Braselton, Georgia.

Beca would be lying if she said she didnt expect it to happen, she definitely did. But that didn't mean she was ready for it. She knew, even with millions of ways her head had tried to deny it, to instead make up nasty assumptions that they would fall apart one day, that the redhead would come running to her and everything would be perfect. Unfortunately, those thoughts itself made it hurt a little more. Because she knew yet she helplessly hoped.

She was hopelessly in love with Chloe Beale. After the USO tour, they all sadly moved out of their small Brooklyn apartment going their separate ways. However, she didnt expect going their separate ways meant the bond she had with her bestfriend to leave along with it. She tried not to blame it solely because of her newly found boyfriend but she knew that was one of the main reasons. They tried to talk to each other everyday but as days went by, time and work consumed their freedom leaving the miserable distance between them to become a reality in their friendship. From long phone calls and texts to one sentence or word messages, then eventually nothing. Their WhatsApp group of the Bellas now only popping up from time to time but none of both the girls usually reply more than an emoji.

They were inseparable but she guessed even the most dynamic duo could be torn apart. Maybe it was for the best.

×××

She let the days go by without acknowledging the invitation that was now crumbled up at the corner of her room where she had thrown it one night when a wave of painful memories attack her.

Aubrey had noticed, sadly so. They always texted each other and snapped pictures of unconventional things which either Beca or Aubrey would say it reminded them of each other. Whether a snap of a garbage bin, a grumpy looking cartoon that was showing on TV or a man with blonde long hair (snapped by Beca) saying it looked like Aubrey.

Aubrey knew that Beca barely touched any sort of social media but she used it enough also per orders of her publicists for her image. So when she noticed the lack of communication between them, she knew. Which led her to visit the brunette without her knowing, only to find her in a heartbreaking state.

×××

It took a few months to heal halfway. The wedding only a few weeks left and Beca still hadn't RSVP'D. Till eventually she had made a decision,

"I'm going."

Aubrey turned to her brunette friend lying beside her on the warm sandy Malibu beach. They had decided to go out even if they weren't exactly beach people, LA lifestyle started to grow in them. Plus it was admittedly relaxing.

The blonde lifted her sunglasses on her head raising an eyebrow at the small brunette beside her,

"You said that last time."

The producer let out a scoff accompanied by a sad smile, "I've come to terms.. with myself yknow. I need closure. and I feel like this is my last chance. If I dont do it, I'll be stuck.. and I wouldnt know what the hell I'm gonna do if I let myself be in this dark shitty hole for God knows how long."

Beca paused taking a sharp inhale noticing herself lose composure a bit, she exhaled when she felt Aubrey's a little hesitant but reassuring hold on her forearm.

She sat up joining her friend beside her thankful for Aubrey and her friendship that had developed into some unspeakable mutual understanding. It wasnt as deep as Chloe's because that was different, but she's grateful for whatever rock she had right now she could hold on to. She wasn't as awkward when she opened up anymore, plus Aubrey already saw the worse of her.

"I know it's going to hurt. God..." she let's out a mirthless chuckle, " it's going to be worse than that, but I'll behave, I promise. I'll leave when I find myself losing control, or slap the fuck out of me might work as well. But I do want to be there. I need to see it. One final look, yknow? One final glance at her being the happiest she has ever been in her whole God damn life. One final reality check that this is it. Just...one final heartbreak. To end everything. So maybe I can start again. "

Aubrey could hear the broken desperation in her vulnerable shaky voice. She took a glance at the brunette beside her, the pain so evident, almost tangible, her own heart broke for her. The sound of distant laughter and the crash of the waves now muted in her ears, just the warm blow of the california breeze brushing through them as a reassuring touch on their delicate skin.

She didn't respond. She knew she didnt have to. So she firmly nodded, a silent promise she'll watch over her. The music producer turning to give her a big grin and a thumbs up while she excused herself to go to the restroom.

Aubrey found it quite ironic. If she told her old self that she would be taking care her of her best friend's crush, who she hated the very existence of, from heartbreak, the old her would have projectile vomited on her face. But here she was, from all those years taking care of Chloe's broken heart because of Beca's relationship with Jesse to Beca's even more painful experience with watching the love of her life slip away from her because she was too late.

This wasn't even her story, yet why did she feel like suffocating? She can't even imagine to start what Beca was feeling.