#they have an obsession with driving off cliffs

[lunajay33]

Why Me?

•🤎🐺🪵🍂🌑•

Summary: Bella and Y/n are twins but when Bella and Renee moved away you stayed with Charlie always growing closer with the people around La push, but when Bella comes back it’s like everything is flipped around, Bella becomes distant obsessed with the cullens, you find solace with the guys at the beach but things change after the first year and suddenly you’re all alone, will anyone come back, will Paul your best friend, your forever crush come save you from depression

Pairing: Paul Lahote x f!reader

Warnings: Depression, Rosalie, suicidal thoughts

•Masterlist•

It was a simple life in forks but I loved it this is where I’m meant to be, I can’t explain it but it calls to me, the rainy weather, the cool breeze, the calm beach at La push, even my group of friends made my life feel complete

Plus I had dad or as Bella called him, Charlie, after mom and Bella left when I was only 4 it was usually just the two of us, suppers out at the cafe or cozy nights at Jacob’s as they watched the game, I kept him a float after the devastating heart break even thought I was young, mom tried to take me with them the night everything happened but I held on to dad screaming for him to keep me, and here we are today just me and him it was perfect everything was exactly how it should be, then we got the call Bella was moving back I was nervous at first I haven’t seen her since she stopped visiting years ago

“I’ll be back later, be safe and if you go out leave a note okay sweetie?” Dad stated as he picked up the keys to his police cruiser

“Okay dad! Drive safe” we shared a hug before he left leaving me alone and anytime I was free I’d either walk through the forest behind my house or hang out at the beach with Paul or Jacob

I pulled on a coat and hiking boots heading to the over grown trees lining the backyard, the weather is not too cold but it’s still over cast, the trees are lined with a thick moss the ground littered with pine cones and varying animals tracks

Sometimes I’d find Paul trying to blow off steam out here so hopefully I’ll come across him today needing my best friend right now with all the stress I’ve been feeling about Bella’s return

After a bit more walking I heard groaning as I approached the cliff we sometimes would hang out on, I rounded a tree and saw Paul sitting there huffing and puffing, he’s always had anger issues growing up but I was always there for him and for some reason I was the only one to calm him down

Silently I sat next to him laying my head on his shoulder his arm instinctly wrapping around my waist quickly finding comfort in each others company

“Remember when we were nine and you were so angry that Jacob took my ice cream, you pushed him into a puddle and got me a new ice cream and I had to keep you calm away from Jake the rest of my party” I stated laughing remember how cute he was and that’s the day my crush on him started which grew over the years but I’d never tell him that, I can’t risk what I have with him

He sighed squeezing my hip his breathing calming down

“I couldn’t help it you were so excited all day for your ice cream and that look in your face when he took it mad me so mad, you know I hate seeing you upset”

“Don’t get soft on me Lahote” he huffed out a laugh

“What’s wrong Paul? Anything I can do to help?” I asked finally looking up at him

He looked hesitant his eyes looking anywhere but me, I drew my hand through his long beautiful black hair trying to ease his worries

“Just a lot lately, things with the older tribe members don’t worry about it, how about you Bella’s coming today you still nervous?”

“Yeah what if we’re not like how we were as kids, what if she doesn’t like me anymore I mean I know I can be a burden sometimes but I just want my sister”

“Hey what did I tell you about talking about yourself like that, she’s gonna love you and you’re not a burden why do you think the guys and everyone around you loves you?”

Sometimes when he’d get sweet talking like this it only made me love him more, feeling the blush spread across my cheeks I pushed his arm playfully trying to hide my feelings

“You’ll always be here for me right Paul, even when we both have stuff going on you’ll be here?” My hands fiddling together

“Always”

It’s been a week since Bella’s moved back and it’s been nice, we reconnected and talked before bed most nights just catching up on everything, and it was nice to have a friend at school now, I never really had friend at the forks school, I tried but no one ever bothered, plus all my friends down at La push is better than anyone here

Sitting at my usual lunch table by the windows I glance over seeing Bella with her whole new table of friends, she said she’d sit with me if it bothered me to be alone but I didn’t want to get in the way of her making new friends plus I saw how she’d rather be with them it was the perfect spot to look at the cullens, who she’d make goggly eyes at every lunch

But the day dragged on as usual but when that final bell rang I was free, I ran out the door heading straight to where Paul usually parked to pick me up but he wasn’t there which was strange he was never late

“Hey y/n do you need a ride?” Bella called from a few spots down waiting at her truck

“Oh ummm no I should be fine maybe he’s just running late” I waved her off just hoping he was okay

I sat on the stairs watching as the cars emptied the parking lot one by one till there was no one but me and the setting sun

I sighed realizing he wasn’t coming so I started walking home, once I got through the door I dialed Paul on the house phone my heart beating anxiously

The tones rang one after another but no answer so I called Jacob instead and of course he answered immediately

“Hello Black residence” his chipper voice always made me smile he was such a sweet guy

“Hi Jake it’s y/n Paul didn’t pick me up today and I was wondering do you know if he’s okay?”

“Oh no I haven’t heard…..” I heard a mumbled voice behind him then the voice changed

“Who is this?” And I recognized that voice it was Sam Uley

“Hey Sam it’s me y/n swan! Ummm sorry if I interrupted something I was just calling worried about Paul, have you seen him around?”

“Oh he’s gonna be under the weather for a while he’s caught a stomach bug, we don’t wanna risk you getting sick too”

“Can I visit just to drop off soup or something?” My heart ached knowing what he’d say

“I’m sorry honey not yet, it’ll be awhile just give him time”

“But……but he’s my best friend” my voice wavered haven’t never being apart from him for a long period of time there was this pull to him I always felt so being apart felt…….wrong

“Just give it time honey, I’ve gotta go, goodnight” and with that he hung up the phone felt heavy in my hand

I’ve seen Paul every day since he got his licence, he’s a year older so when he got it he promised to pick me up everyday to make sure I was safe, Bella can drive me now but it’s not the same after a long day I’d get in his truck and cuddle up to his side and drive down to the beach and relax

“Sweetie why are you crying?” Dad broke me out of my thoughts as he hung up the phone

“Oh it’s nothing just….pauls sick I’m just worried”

“That kid is strong he’ll be just fine” he smiled patting my shoulder before he got a soda from the fridge

The days dragged on and I thought he’d atleast pick up the phone when I called or even call me but nothing, not a word and now a month has gone by I thought I’d have Bella but she quickly became all involved with Edward Cullen, the older member of the tribe weren’t quite fond of their family they told me stories but I thought it was all just legends never thinking too much about them

So now without Bella and Paul I was alone, my world felt flipped upside down, everything use tk be perfect but now I felt ripped of who I was, I fell hollow, drained, the all crushing depression, I can’t sleep evident by the dark circles under my eyes, I can barely eat shown by the hollows covering my body and the clothes that hung on my body, I felt like I’m dying, I’m fading

I’ve never been through a break up but this can’t be how it feels this has to be something different, something more painful

School was like hell, even worse than before, Bella convinced me some days to sit with her and the cullens and Alice was always trying to cheer me up but nothing was ever permanent

I picked at my rice as Emmett bragged about how he beat Edward in a baseball game

“Still not feeling well?” Jasper asked next to me, the first time I’ve ever heard him speak

“I think somethings wrong with me, I think I’m dying” everyone stopped what they were talking about and eyes were on me but I didn’t care anymore

“Why would you say that y/n?” Alice spoke

I sighed excusing myself from the table walking away, they couldn’t understand but maybe the elders could, I called dad and he said he’d be at the school to pick me up seeing as work was going slow

A few minutes later the cruiser pulled up and I got in the front seat

“Sick again?” He asked worry written all over his face

I’ve been calling him to pick me up from school a lot, either from spells of nausea throwing up or just the overwhelming depression

“Can you take me to Emily’s?” She was like a aunt to me always so sweet and that’s what I needed right now

“Of course sweetie” the drive was silent until we pulled into the gravel drive way seeing Sam and Emily step out

“Try and relax okay, I’ll pick you up whenever you’d like just call” I managed a smile and got out seeing him drive away

I walked up the porch steps straight into Emily’s arms

“Oh honey what’s happened we haven’t seen you in so long” she said stepping back taking in my clearly broken and sick appearance, the baggy brown hoodie that use to fit relative tight and some ratty sweat pants, my hair pulled into two messy braids

“Somethings wrong Emily, I didn’t know who else to ask” finally letting the tears stream down my face, she squeezed my hands giving Sam a desperate look as she led me inside

I sat on the couch as she dropped a fluffy blanket over my legs telling Sam to make me a hot chocolate

“What’re you feeling hun? How did all this start” her voice always soothed me

“I can’t eat or sleep, I can’t feel it’s like I’m hollow inside and it hurts, not just emotionally I physically get sick all the time, dad brought me to the doctors and they say nothing is medically wrong” Sam placed the drink on the table infront of me and sat next to Emily on the couch across from me

“When did this all start?” He asked

“The day Paul left me, I know it sounds crazy but…….its likes a piece of me died when he stopped coming around” they looked at eachother with knowing looks

“You’re not crazy”

“Then what? Do you know what’s wrong with me?” I ask almost pleading

“I might, how about you and Emily catch up and rest, I’ll be back soon” and with that he left leaving me confused

The sun started setting and I didn’t want to bother Emily more that needed

“I think I’m gonna head home, thanks for having me today” I said pulling on my coat at the door

“Do you want me to call Charlie it’s a long walk hun”

“Oh no I’m…..I need some air I’ll be fine”

“Okay but be safe and call me when you get home so I know everything okay?”

“Okay Em” I faked a smile and left feeling the cool breeze hit me, but I lied theres no going home this time, I’m going to where I last had him, the cliffs

The walk was long and cold but when I finally made it the moon was shining bright over head, dropping to my knees I cried and cried until there was no more tears left

What was the point anymore he’s never coming back so this pain will never go away I feel like I’m fading away anyways

Standing up I neared the cliff edge the sea breeze blowing up from far below

“Maybe in another life I’ll find you Paul” then a quick breeze whooshed past my body opening my eyes I wasn’t at the cliff anymore but in the deep forest

Emmett Cullen right infront of me, confused and upset I step away crossing my arms over my chest

“Emmett why would you stop me, what’re you even doing here” I sigh wanting to just scream

“What the hell were you thinking, why would you try to kill yourself what about Bella what about Charlie?”

“It hurts so much Emmett can you just make it go away, I wanna be okay again”

“This isn’t suppose to happen to you, you’re suppose to be Bella’s sweet shy sister” he sighs pulling me into a tight cold hug, nothing like how it felt with Paul

“Not anymore Em”

“Do you wanna come over I can make you anything you want and I can make a cozy spot for you infront of the fire place”

“Oh I couldn’t impose like that”

“If Bella’s family now so are you” before I could agree a growl rumbled through the trees

Turning a grey wolf the size of a mini van emerged from the trees its eyes piercing at Emmett

“Emmett what do we do?” I ask scared gripping his arm

“Calm down you’ll be okay just trust me okay”

“O…okay” and the next second he was gone in the blink of an eye

He left me, I turn back to the wolf that no longer growled but was whining, getting closer it laid down infront of me nudging my leg with its snout, suddenly the fear dissapeared

I lean down and cautiously rubbed my hand through its soft fur hearing it grumble, sitting in front of it it moved forward laying its head across my lap completely covering it

“You’re quite beautiful, like a gentle giant” rubbing its fur helped sooth me bringing me back to reality of what I almost did tonight

“I can’t believe I almost ended it all tonight, he’ll come back to me soon right? I’ll be happy again someday won’t I?”

I licked at my hand whining

“He promised he wouldn’t leave me, he always said he’d protect me and he always made me happy I don’t know what to do without him”

The wolf got up motioning to get on it back and for some reason I didn’t think twice about it, hopping on I held onto its next as it made its way down the path back the way I came

Right back to Emily’s house

More parts coming soon!!

Taglist: @lilredcamaro14 @cvmtitss @larissa01-blog2

[ox1-lovesick]

YEONJUN'S DEAD OH MY GOD

[jvzebel-x]

🦋

so i had a pretty interesting conversation with someone from a support group that i'm in, &i'm not entirely sure why this topic is following me around this week, lol, but it feels like something that should need further inspecting because of it, but like... i don't see the point in that, lol, &i suppose what i've actually been reflecting on has been the why of that, lol.

like, support groups for things like cancer are often fraught with conversations about forgiveness because people are looking for peace. whether it be because they don't have the time left to want to feel anything else or because they have changed their whole world around since becoming sick, or even just that sickness&the subsequent impact on their life has given them new perspective on some of the things that used to matter a ton but now seem trivial in the scheme of things. no matter what, forgiveness is often a topic that comes up, &i rarely ever participate because none of those things have happened for me&i have no real interest in pursuing them, lol.

so anyway i had a conversation about forgiveness&while i understand what my acquaintance was trying to do, all it really did was compound my feelings into clear, communicable thoughts, lol.

like, i understand the whole, "forgiveness is for you" thing, but also don't agree with it, lol. forgiveness is always a whole thing-- i have rarely ever seen or heard stories where forgiveness did not involve some form of emotionally harrowing episode or otherwise followup work to prove that forgiveness has in fact been given, lol. that fact alone is enough to let me know that forgiveness isn't actually gauged by the one who does the forgiving, it's gauged by a combination of personal feelings&social expectations-- that's why my saying, "I don't think about anyone who I've ever cut out of my life for hurting me" is always met with, "BUT FORGIVENESS--"

why, exactly, is my not thinking about them not forgiveness? who said i didn't forgive them by banishing them from my thoughts? supposedly forgiveness is for me because it'll make me feel good to let go of the anger or whatever. but not if letting go of that anger has exactly nothing to do with how the opposing party feels or is doing? okay.

like, yes, when i think of these people&the scenarios that accompany them, my blood boils-- but my blood boils when i think of literally anyone who has ever wronged me, lol. intrusive (typically violent) thoughts&obsessive thought cycles are two things no amount of medication or meditation has been able to curb in the slightest, lol; all i can really do is breath deep&wait for the moments to pass or at least calm down. if all i can really expect out of my processing&letting go of things is getting to a point where someone who used to mean the world to me (&subsequently demolised my world) only comes up in my thought patterns as much as the bitch whose name i never learned who got TOO comfortable with assuming i was too stupid to understand her insults, then that's what i'm considering a win, lol. there is nothing for me down the path of working through my feelings with some asshole i want nothing to do with ever again, lol. the goal is to forget they&the feelings they induced ever existed, lmao, &it's one i don't even have to work at-- it happens naturally, lmao, it's a side effect of thinking about the same shit so much against my will that i process everything i need to without having to specifically focus on it. numbness to the situation is an eventual given, otherwise i will literally lose my mind, lmao.

&like. i would never expect or want a second chance from or with any of these people, lol. i expect that both parties here are equally happy to have the other the fuck out their life, lmao. if that isn't the case&someone wants my forgiveness because they miss me... what do i get out of that? what could someone i want nothing more than to have scrubbed from my fucking brain possibly have to offer me in exchange for a return to their life???

&, probably more importantly, what else could they expect from telling me they miss me except to have me laugh all the way in their face, because if they miss me&i can't think of a single memory good enough to counterbalance the bullshit despite obsessively having thought of every detail of things between us for however the fuck long it's been, what exactly does that say about our relationship, LMAO.

[reignpage]

Basketball captain!Toji

27th March: he's sweet, really

warning: 18+ mdni, exhibitionism, voyeurism, size kink, rough sex, spanking, name-calling, car sex, possessiveness

basketball captain!toji is the world’s biggest dickhead. it is a fact, one not even he can deny. but he is also your boyfriend. this came as a shock to your friend group and in all honesty you’re still surprised yourself. 

basketball captaintoji is abrasive, calls you ‘woman’ when you’re arguing, or ‘ma’ when he’s buttering you up, you explain to your friends who don’t seem to understand why you like that. and you get it, toji doesn’t treat you like a precious girlfriend, you’ve seen your friends’ boyfriends; they’re sweet, cute, and so kind. you’ve watched romcoms, boyfriends are supposed to gift you flowers and whisper sweet nothings in your ear. 

you don’t bother explaining that basketball captain!toji expresses his love in a different way, that the harsh smacks he lands on your ass is his way of saying he sees you and when his only reply to your long rants are grunts it fills your heart with warmth because the fact that he’s replying at all, humouring you, shows just how obsessed he is. 

and it isn’t like basketball captain!toji doesn’t have cute nicknames for you — when he’s bullying his fat cock into your fluttering pussy he calls you his ‘little slut’ or a ‘pathetic cock-sleeve’. it may not make butterflies appear in your stomach but it does make your eyes roll back and your pussy clench. 

basketball captain!toji doesn’t take you out on dates to fancy restaurants, he doesn’t do walks in parks or wear matching outfits, though you’ve never actually asked him so there’s a possibility he could say yes. maybe in the future. your boyfriend does, however, drive you out to cliff edges and makes you ride him till you’re a shaking mess in the front seat and when you tap out, legs quivering in protest, he drags you to the back and jackhammers into you as punishment.

he loves it when you come to his games wearing his jersey, cheering him loudly. he dedicates every shot to you with a wink and smirks at your elation and laughs at his single teammates for not having a woman to cheer them on, says he isn’t willing to share either. basketball captain!toji may not express it clearly but his heart swells when you smile so brightly at him from the sidelines, and speaking of swelling, seeing his name and number on your body, making it abundantly clear you’re his makes his dick harder than it should be during a match. 

basketball captain!toji may never confess he appreciates your attendance but he does show it when he fucks you in the showers after the game. at this point you already know better than to even think about taking off his jersey. no, he wants to fuck you with it on, panties shoved to the side so he can bury himself to the hilt, clutching the fat of your ass whilst he holds you up against the cold tiles, swallowing your moans. 

pattering of feet interrupts you two, heads swivelling to the pink haired man who turns on a shower right next to you, dick swinging and balls hanging. he has a smirk on his face as he eyes you both before rolling his eyes and continuing with his post game routine. 

“oh, please, don’t stop on my account.”

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

Follow You Anywhere 12

No tag lists. Do not send asks or DMs about updates. Review my pinned post for guidelines, masterlist, etc.

Warnings: this fic will include dark content such as dubcon/noncon, obsession, controlling behavoiour, and other possible triggers. My warnings are not exhaustive, enter at your own risk.

This is a dark!fic and explicit. 18+ only. Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.

Summary: You’re online existence threatens to leak into your real life.

Characters: Captain Syverson

Note: yuhhhhhh.

As per usual, I humbly request your thoughts! Reblogs are always appreciated and welcomed, not only do I see them easier but it lets other people see my work. I will do my best to answer all I can. I’m trying to get better at keeping up so thanks everyone for staying with me <3

Your feedback will help in this and future works (and WiPs, I haven’t forgotten those!) Asking for more or putting ‘part 2?’ is not feedback.

Love you all. You are appreciated and your are worthy. Treat yourself with care. 💖

Gulls flap across the cornflower sky. Thin wisps of cloud crest beneath the gemlike sun, shining at you with a blinding gleam. You shield your eyes with your hands as Sy steers along the crooked backroad around the cliffs the face the coast.

Aika pokes her head out between the seats as she sits in the back. She is your only comfort on the long journey to a beach you’ve never been before. 

You don’t ask where you’re going. You wouldn’t know the difference, you only know that most people head to West Cove. You jostle with the truck. The sun reaches its apex. It’s a bit late to just be getting to the beach then. 

Yet, he doesn’t stop. He keeps driving. Around the rocky crags and cliffside, on and on, through the scatter of trees, and past that. You can still see the water but the clock ticks on. 

You sit up, more rigid than ever. You haven’t been able to relax but you’re on edge as you realise how far you’ve gone. How long he’s been at the wheel. 

“Everything okay, sweetie?” He asks. 

“Y-yeah. Um... does Aika need to go?” 

“She’ll let us know, don’t ya worry,” he chuckles. “Pretty, ain’t it? The water?” 

You peer around him as the water now stands at his shoulder. 

“Shouldn’t we be going towards the coast?” You ask. 

“We’ll get there, sweetie,” he assures you. “Just a little further. Didn’t I mention I got a surprise?” 

“Erm, no. A surprise?” 

“Don’t wanna spoil it,” he smiles and runs his hand over his beard.  

You shrink down and go silent. You don’t want to push him. You can’t help but hear the echo of his booming voice and the crack of plaster around his head. No, you won’t do that again. 

You come in sight of a house. The siding is beaten wood, the blue paint chipping away, and there’s a crooked shed around one side. The pillars of the porch are dusted with dirt and the old windows boarded up. A tickle creeps up your spine as Sy steers toward it. 

“Surprise,” he blusters excitedly. 

“Surprise?” You squeak and stare at the house. 

“It’s a beach house,” he proclaims proudly. You don’t have the heart or the courage to extinguish his excitement. Does he not see how decrepit it is? 

“A beach house?” 

“Oh yeah,” he shuts off the engine. “Just us.” 

“Wow,” you breathe. 

He laughs so loud it makes you flinch. He slaps his hand down on your thigh and squeezes, “don’t be so nervous. We’re gonna get it all cleaned up. Won’t take much.” 

“Mhm,” you hum as you look down at his large hand. You gulp and he lets you go. 

He gets out and you look at Aika. Her wet nose touches your cheek. Sy whistles and she hops between the seats and follows him out the open door. You climb out on your side and peer up at the house in dread. 

“Sy, it’s... it’s gonna be dark in a few hours though.” 

“Well, we won’t be driving back now,” he scoffs. “We’re gon’ be here a while. Just you and me. Like a honeymoon or such.” 

Your heart sinks. This man took over your life barely two days ago and he’s talking like you’re married. Worse, you let him bring you out to who knows where. Why hadn’t you been paying attention? 

“I’ll just get it opened up and air it out,” he says as he marches up to the porch. 

You watch him. Stunned. You really can’t believe this. It can’t be real. You scratch your scalp as panic razes through your skin. Aika sits on the steps and you turn back to the truck. You don’t understand... 

You go around the bed of the truck. It’s covered. And locked. You can’t pull it open. 

You hear him stomping before he appears. You quickly move away from the truck and pretend that you’re admiring the wooden bench amid the patchy grass. He calls your name and you turn to him, swallowing your fear down deep. 

“Wanna come see? Got a flashlight.” 

He wiggles the yellow plastic and clicks the button. He hits it to make it turn on. You blow out a breath and nod. You go to him, choked of your voice. 

He waves you ahead of him. You enter as he shines the flashlight around you. There’s furniture draped in sheets and an old cross stitch hung over a chest of drawers. There’s a fire stove that could be a century old and a carpet with fraying edges. You don’t know if this place is forgotten or condemned. 

“Get the boards down, get the dust out, and it’s perfect. Isn’t it?” He purrs as he comes up and puts his arm across your shoulders. 

You wince and nod. He guides you along as he aims the light into the kitchen and the stove that looks right out of a mid-century advert, well maybe if it got a fresh coat of paint. He squeezes you closer and stops. 

“You alright, sweetie? You quiet?” 

“Yes,” you sniff, “y-yeah. Like you said. It’s a surprise.” 

“Now I know you wee probably looking forward to the beach today but we’ll get this place nice and cleaned up and have a good fire. I brought stuff for smores. Heh, another surprise. Then tomorrow, we’ll have the whole day in the sun.” He waves the flashlight around, “you know, it’s not ten minutes walk to the shore. I know a shortcut.” 

“That’s... great,” you eke out. How does he know this place? 

“I’ll get the windows open. How about you pull them sheets off the furniture?” He suggests. 

“Okay,” you agree softly. 

You turn and go back down the hall. Aika watches through the door. You’re trapped here with this mad man and his trained dog. There’s no way out, even if you did know where you are. 

All you can do is distract yourself for as long as you can. Take your time, stay busy. It’s once you have nothing to do that he’ll be able to do anything he wants. 

You work at uncovering all the furniture. Then you find a cloth to dust the surface. Sy tosses the boards from the windows in the yard and you take the straw broom form the corner to sweep the floor. The sky ripples as the sun sets and you work in the dimming haze. 

Sy lights an old lantern, struggling to catch the wick. He leaves it with you as he takes the flashlight. He mutters something and continues into the shadows the hallway. There’s a clatter and Aika taps through the open door with breeze. She stops as her snout points after her owner. 

Thump, thump, thump, thump... the noise whittles off and you look down as you hear noise beneath you. There’s a basement? You wait as Aika keeps vigil, unmoving. You scratch the floor with the bristles as you try to get up as much dirt as you can. 

There’s a crackle and some more creaking. Sy thunders back up the stairs and you look up as he searches the wall. He twists a switch and shuts off the flashlight. The tinted bulbs on the wall light up.  

“Found the generator,” he says. “Look at you. Looks good in here.” 

“Um, yeah,” you continue to brush the floorboards. 

“Should I make up the bed?” He asks coyly. 

You put your head down as you move with the broom, “well, I am getting tired.” 

“Tired...” he mutters. “Mm, sure, but we’re still gonna have a fire, huh? It’s a nice night.” 

You nod, “if that’s what you want.” 

He sighs, “hm, I’ll... I’ll go fix up the bed then.” 

You know he’s disappointed. You’re trying to play along but you’re terrified. As the crickets buzz louder and you hear the forest cracking and swaying, the desolation sets in. Your hopelessness cannot be staved off much longer. 

Mistake after mistake, you can’t help but blame yourself for this. He might be the villain, but you set yourself up. You started that Instagram, you didn’t pay enough attention to security, you spoke to him at the grocery store, and you let him take you home. You let him invade your life and when you finally tried to get him out, it was already too late. 

It is too late. 

You still the broom and squeeze it. You stare at the window. You're lost. Entirely. 

He comes back out and you flinch. You try to shake off your despair. It clings but you make yourself smile. You lean the broom against the wall. 

“Can I help?” You ask. 

“Help, er, sure.” He accepts, “I got some fresh stuff in the truck.” 

He ushers you ahead of him. You go outside and he’s close behind. The keys jangle as he comes up next to you and you walk with him to the bed of the truck. He unlocks it and you nearly collapse. He drags out a large plastic bin. What is all this? It’s like he’s moving... 

How long has he been planning this? 

You step back and blink. You’re woozy with horror. All this stuff, you don’t think he’s planning on leaving. 

“Ah, this one,” he drags out another container. “Got the sheets in there.” 

He lifts the big blue bin and you take another step back. You shake your head as you stagger around dumbly. He doesn’t notice as he hauls the container in his arms toward the porch. 

“Be a sweetie and get the door,” he says. 

“No,” you wisp and clear your throat. “No,” you say loud as you stumble back. “No, no!” 

You shake your head as he turns to you, his face contorted in confusion. You spin and nearly trip over your own feet. You burst into a sprint. You’re not thinking. It’s purely your body moving on fear alone. 

You pump your arms and lift your knees, heading for the spatter of trees. They aren’t thick enough to hide you completely but you might be able to weave around fast enough to lose him. And then... 

Then... 

You don’t know. All you know is that you have to keep going. You can hear him. His footsteps crush through the twigs as he hollers, “Aika.” 

He whistles as you puff shallowly through the pain in your chest. Go, go, go. It isn’t fair. It’s two against one. 

You get past the first few trees as you hear his next order but don’t understand it. It’s in that other language. You’re hit from behind, a toppling force that sends you onto your stomach. You land painfully in the dirt as Aika stands on your back and growls in your ear. 

“Aika, please. You’re a good girl,” you plead, “Aika, off! Aika--” 

“She don’t know English,” Sy snarls as stomps up behind you and kicks your foot.  

You whimper and drop your head down. Your stomach, knees, arms, hands, legs, even your cheeks are scraped from your fall to earth. And fall you did. Back to reality. 

“Please,” you snivel. “Please, Sy. Take me home. I’m scared.” 

He sighs and snaps his fingers. Aika quiets and hops off of you. She turns as she stands by your head and Sy approaches you from behind. He pulls you up and turns you to face him. 

“You are home, sweetie,” he grits through his teeth. 

You pout and shake your head, “no, Sy. Why? Why are you doing this to me?” 

“Doing what?” His forehead wrinkles and his eyes dull. “I’m takin’ care of ya. What do ya mean?” 

“But... we can’t stay out here.” 

“Why not?” 

You stare up into his eyes. They’re empty. Like before. Like when he went rabid. You squirm and grab at his thick fingers. 

“Because,” you exclaim. “I don’t know you.” 

He winces and blinks. His throat bobs as his head tilts back and forth. He squeezes your shoulders and huffs, “no, no, you know me.” 

“I don’t,” you whine. “I don’t know you.” 

“You do. You do.” He insists. “You spoke to me. You smiled at me. Every night.” 

Your lip quivers and your tears overflow, “Sy,” you sniffle, “Sy, you... you... you’re not a bad guy, you’re just confused. Please, I know you don’t want to hurt me so take me home.” 

He closes his eyes and sucks in through his nose. His chest rumbles and he his breath out slow. His lashes lift. His pupils swallow up his irises. You shiver at the pools of black. 

“Captain,” he snarls. “I am your Captain.” 

[blakeswritingimagines]

Dear Y/N

My dearest darling,

my heart flutters at the very thought of you. You are like a drug that has taken over my mind, body, and soul. I cannot stand to be apart from you, even for a moment. The very thought of you with someone else makes me want to vomit. You are mine, and mine alone. If I cannot have you, then no one can. I dream about you day and night, my darling. You are the last thing on my mind when I sleep, and you are the first thing I think of in the morning. The mere thought of you makes my heart skip a beat. I can't go a moment without thinking about you, and I dream of holding you in my arms forever.

Your smile is like the sun, my darling, and your laugh is like music to my ears. I would do anything, and I mean anything, to make you mine. I would kill for you, I would die for you, and I would sacrifice everything and everyone for you. I know I may seem obsessive, but I just can't help it. You are everything to me. You are like a drug to me, my love. I'm completely addicted to you. You have consumed my mind and body, and I'm powerless to resist you. I can't help but think about you all the time, everywhere I go. The thought of you with someone else drives me absolutely insane. I would do anything to keep you all to myself. You're mine. Your scent is intoxicating and addictive. I find myself wanting to be closer to you always just so I can smell the sweet perfume that I know belongs to you. I want to hold you close and bury my face in your hair, just to feel the way your body feels against mine.

I watch over you at all times, my precious darling. I know where you are at all times, and I keep a watchful eye on you. I would do anything for you, to keep you happy and safe. I would kill for you, my love. If anyone threatens your safety, just say the word and I will destroy them. My feelings for you are beyond intense. Every fiber of my being aches to be with you. I want to touch you, hold you, and make you mine. Your body is like a work of art, and I would do anything to possess you. I want to feel your skin against mine, and I want to know every inch of your body. I am obsessed with every little thing about you. I love the way you look, and the way you talk. I can tell when you're feeling even the slightest bit of sadness, and I want to fix it. I want to take all of your pain away. You are my everything. You are the air I breathe, the food I eat. You are my world, my darling.

I can't stand the thought of you with any other man. The very idea of it makes my blood boil. You are mine and mine alone, my darling. If anyone tries to take you away from me, I will not hesitate to put them six feet underground. I don't care who it is, no one will keep us apart. You are my obsession, my love, my everything. And I will stop at nothing to keep you by my side. I know everything about you, my darling. I know your fears, your desires, your dreams. I know every curve and freckle on your body. I know your favorite food, the music you listen to, the movies you watch. I know everything about you, and I love every part of what makes you who you are. I'm hopelessly obsessed with you, and I'd be lost without you. I think about what it would be like to spend the rest of my life with you. I picture us in a cozy apartment together, waking up next to you in bed every morning. I imagine us going on dates, watching movies, and cooking together. I imagine us growing old together, with grey hair and all, but every bit as in love as the first day we met. I can't imagine a life without you, my love, because you are my world.

I would give up everything for you, my love. My friends, my family, my life. You are the only thing that matters to me. If you were to ask me to jump off a cliff, I would do it without question, just to please you. You are the center of my universe, the sun that my world revolves around. I would do anything to make you happy, to see your beautiful smile. I'm always thinking about you, my love. My mind is constantly consumed by you, and there's nothing I can do to change it. I dream about our future together, how we'll live, where we'll go, when we'll get married. When I close my eyes, I see your face, your smile, your eyes. I hear your laugh, and I imagine myself holding you in my arms. You consume my every thought, my darling. I know it's unhealthy, my love, but I can't help myself. I'm addicted to you. Just the sound of your voice makes me shiver, and the sight of your face causes me to lose my breath. I ache to touch you, to hold you, to feel your skin against mine. You drive me absolutely insane, darling. And I love it.

I fantasize about you all the time, darling. I imagine what it would be like to be with you, to hold you in my arms, to feel your touch against my body. Just the thought of it drives me insane, and I ache with desire for you. My heart skips a beat just thinking about it. You are the only thing that matters in my world, darling. Everyone and everything else is meaningless without you. I am completely and utterly at your mercy, and I wouldn't want it any other way. I am completely and utterly devoted to you, and I'll do anything to make you happy. My entire purpose is to make you smile, to make you laugh, to make you feel loved. You are my world, my darling. I long for your touch, darling. I crave the feel of your skin, your hair, your lips. I long to feel your body against mine, to run my fingers through your hair, to kiss you until we're both dizzy. I dream about holding you in my arms, feeling your heart beat against mine. The sheer thought of you drives me insane, my love.

I can't concentrate on anything else, darling. You fill my thoughts, my dreams, my every moment. I find myself constantly checking my phone for your messages, and my heart leaps when I see your name pop up. I long for your attention, my love. Without you, I'm lost. You are my anchor, my guiding light, my everything. I need you, darling. I need to hear your voice, to hear you say my name. I need to see your smile, to feel your touch. I need you, as much as I need air to breathe, food to eat, and water to drink. I'm addicted to you, my darling. I need you like a drug, like a lifeline. Without you, I'm nothing. You are my reason for being, my purpose in life. Nothing else matters but you. You are my world, my darling. You are all I think about, all I dream about. I can't eat, I can't sleep, I can't concentrate on anything except you. I'm completely and utterly obsessed with you, my love. I can't get you out of my head, no matter how hard I try. You consume me, and I love it. I'm hopelessly devoted to you, my darling, and I'll do anything to make you happy.

In conclusion, my dearest darling, I am completely and utterly smitten by you. You are everything to me. I live for you, I breathe for you, I dream about you. You are my world, my purpose, my everything. Without you, I am lost. I am yours, body and soul. I love you more than words can say, and I hope that one day you'll feel the same for me.

Yours eternally, your devoted Jason.

[bebebelll]

does anyone know her dad? | dn3 x reader (part 3)

paring: daniel ricciardo x toto's daughter!reader, daniel ricciardo x wolff & shcumacher!reader warning: nothing (google translated german because i studied that language for 2 years and dont know a single word anymore) notes: part 1, part 2 and part 4 are recommended reading

ynquads god i love what the us grand prixs do to this man. there's something in the air and the cowboy hats are hot. i truly feel really blessed to have met you, to spend my life with you, to have been by your side and to have had you by mine. i just really love you ❤️❤️❤️

liked by danielricciardo, susie_wolff and 1 184 537 others

username haha jumping off a building now bye

danielricciardo you really love me ❤️

ynquads i really really love you danielricciardo really really really? ynquads really really really really danielricciardo wanna sneak out and go makeout? ynquads YEAH alex_albon no please dont we're on the same plane the restroom is small the walls are thin

maxverstappen1 gross

username sobbing screaming throwing up (fuck i am jealous)

danielricciardo i am so obsessed with you baby

ynquads i fucking adore you

f1wagsupdate as we all know that the figure skater and danny ric's girlfriend yn shcumacher is the child of toto wolff and michael shcumacher's sister, we decided to go on a deep dive. these are really the only photos we could find from facebook. we could only find this one photo of katarina shcumacher and not a single one her and toto together. but isn't toto just adorable with baby yn? and enjoy baby yn and max verstappen looking super cool!

liked by 46 956

username MAX VERSTAPPEN

username how is mick not using that last photo every year on their birthdays like i would print a pic like that of my siblings and put them up around school hallways and on the fridge

ynquads do not worry, auntie sophie and vic show that photo around every christmas

username ooh its too bad theres no photos of them together

username same bro i cant stop imagining some summer love ynquads they met a bar in berlin and got so fucking drunk that its a miracle they didn't get alcohol poisoning. i am so truly so really serious when i say that i'd be surprised if they even exchanged names before i was already cooking in my mom's stomach username what the fuck you saying ynquads i've seen an old homevideo about the morning after. i talk about it in therapy every week

username i love how yn is just lurking around every post about her and her parents

yt video: YN SHCUMACHER ATTENDS COTA - BRUNDLE GRIDWALK

comments:

username love the passive aggressive attitude to every camera she saw

username truly a lovely experience. yn kissed daniel before the race. she kissed max's cheek when he won and said something scandalous in german/dutch based on everyone's faces. i also saw a video of her laughing on the ground when lewis dsq was announced

username WHAT THE FUCK ARE THEY SAYING IS THAT GERMAN

username yn: they are filming you, dad. you are very popular. toto: dont give them too much attention. you had a long flight. you just go and take a nap before the race. brundle and toto talk yn: well see how intact our relationship is after the race username intact 😂😂 lord that really is torger's kid

danielricciardo this woman is the single reason ive survived some darker times. she's so beautiful, lovely and sweet. elegant on and off the ice ❤️❤️the day i do not gush and drool about her is the day i'm dead. so in love

liked by ynquads and 2 487 577 others

username why am i crying

username cant come to the phone right now busy driving through concrete walls and off a cliff

ynquads i am THE luckiest girl ❤️❤️❤️

danielricciardo if youre lucky then ive been blessed by god ynquads dont you dare i win this danielricciardo youre not the one who was just on their knees i win ynquads come here and ill wrestle you danielricciardo only if you kiss the booboos better after

username am i the only one getting real suspicious about these "i love you much" post that they've been putting out for the entire month??? like what you doing all this for

username EXACTLY username they've been together for like four or five years too sooooo you know what people do around that timestamp 🤭🤭🤭

username just what the hell is that comment about being on their knees daniel

ynquads instagram story

danielricciardo funny thing about vegas

liked by ynquads, lewishamilton, maxverstappen1 and 3 483 573 others

username BITCH WHAT

susie_wolff if you got married in a las vegas chappel, you are grounded till your 80th birthday yn - toto wolff

ynquads i didn't actually expect to love being engage this much

danielricciardo whats got you excited about this then? ynquads the fact that im gonna get to marry YOU maxverstappen1 stop being gross maxverstappen1 i already suffered through watching the proposal

username love this i want to snort this i want to inject this into my blood but did you get engaged and then eat junkfood while watching princess diaries 2

ynquads don't tell anyone 🤫 danielricciardo really dont tell anyone that amount of junkfood was not in the diet plan

@topguncultleader @eternalharry

[kucikitty]

---✿❀Desperate Bangchan❀✿---

Photos not mine, I only edit them;

•| ⊱✿⊰ |• Pairing; Sub!Bangchan x Dom!GN!Reader

•| ⊱✿⊰ |• Warnings; smut, dirty talk, pet names, submissive bangchan, dominant reader, needy, swear words, slight oral - m!receiving (Just the tip lol)

•| ⊱✿⊰ |• Word Count; 1226

•| ⊱✿⊰ |• Author's Note; Hope you all enjoy! Just a quick little drabble I put together this morning~

!! •| ⊱✿⊰ |• !! My blog is 18+!! MINORS DO NOT INTERACT. AGE IN BIO OR PINNED! MINORS WILL BE BLOCKED!! Thank you~

----------------------------------•| ⊱✿⊰ |•----------------------------------

Bangchan is kneeled in front of you, ready and obedient for whatever you decide to do with him next. You reach out and your thumb dances across his bottom lip. The static buzzing with every touch you give him. He’s obsessed with you, he craves you. Always. You leave him wanting more every time. You go to pull your hand back but he’s quick. His fingers wrap around your wrist holding you in place, your thumb still resting on his plush pillowy lips. He kisses the tip slowly, sensually, dragging your thumb down. His bottom lip drags with it then flicks back into place. He blinks up at you, his doe eyes stare at yours with need. He holds your eyes in his as he wraps his lips around your thumb. The suction is light but it gets needier with every second that goes by. He wishes it was your clit instead but beggars can’t be choosers. He’ll take anything you give him, as long as he’s able to have anything of you he’s satisfied. 

You’re mesmerized. The pure ecstasy on his face over something so minimal is slowly driving you insane. You knew he was pussy whipped but you didn’t realize it was this bad. Truth be told it turned you on so much more. How far was he willing to go to be with you? Would he do anything you asked? A simple yes, he would. He’d walk to the ends of the earth, jump off a cliff, grovel on his knees if you asked him to. 

Whilst his tongue danced around your thumb you brought your free hand up and combed your fingers through the bangs laid on his forehead. The sensation caused him to purr, a low groan rumbling in his throat. His eyes held yours with desperation, he wanted more but he didn’t want to be selfish. It’s your pleasure before his, always. Although he couldn’t help the slight thrusts into the crowded air, he needed relief, bad. And you were right there to give it to him. 

You could see the strain on his face, it was devilish to witness. You almost wanted to leave him here, carnal for more. But with the way he was acting you didn’t know if you could. Because truth be told you were just as turned on as he is. There’s nothing more satisfying than having a man like him at your beck and call. You’re gonna have fun with this one, it was an opportunity you refused to pass up. 

You pulled back your thumb that was still in between his beautiful lips, his hold on your wrist getting tighter. He didn’t want to let go yet, it’s too soon. But with the sharp look you gave him he accepted defeat, he didn’t want to disappoint you. Especially when he was so close to having you, it’d ruin him. 

You smiled softly at his disheveled state. His messy hair, blown eyes and wet lips pulled apart and panting. 

“Such a good puppy for me, yeah?” You whisper. 

His eyes lit up at the pet name, he’d like whatever you decided to call him but there was something about the word puppy that drove him wild. The slew of bangs on his forehead bounced up and down when he nodded in response. Any praise from you was better than anything on this planet, he was determined to receive more. To be a good boy for you. 

You leaned down to his kneeled form, your face hovering above his, lips inches away. Just a little more and your lips would meet. The urge he must resist to lean forward and push his lips into yours was the hardest thing he’s had to do in a while. 

You smirk at his desperation, god he was so delicious, “Since you’re such a good puppy how ‘bout you sit on the edge of the bed for me, hm?” 

He didn’t have to be told twice, tripping over his feet as he stood up, he stumbled to the edge of the bed and sat obediently. His fingers splayed across the sheets, rubbing against the fabric, his nerves are on fire. 

You stand straight up once again, a smirk dances across your lips at his eagerness. Slowly making your way to him, you let your hips sway with every step. Your hard stare has him trapped, like Medusa has laid her cold eyes on him and turned him into stone, he was still. When you reach him you extend your hand out, he grabs it softly and kisses the back of it. You smile at his quick obedience. 

Suddenly you drop to your knees in front of him and push his thighs apart. You make your way in between his spread out form, your nails digging into his jeans as you squeeze his thick thighs. He stops breathing, stunned at your sudden decision. You’re in between his legs and he has no idea how to breathe. 

“Ah-“ A whimper escapes his lips when you lean down and press a kiss to his bulge. 

He’s so hard it hurts, his fingers dig into the sheets more, he wants it bad. You gleam at his sounds, you need to draw more out and you need it now. 

You nuzzle your face into his bulge, the rough fabric of his jeans scratching at your face but that’s the least of your concern. When you look up at him his head is thrown back. Hot harsh breaths coming out from his mouth, he doesn’t know how much longer he can last. Even with you just looking at him he can blow his load, you were addicting. 

Your slight giggle grabs his attention and he whips his head back down to look at you, although he wishes he hadn’t. Your chin is resting on his painfully hard bulge and your eyes full of sin, teasing him. And he wouldn’t have it any other way. 

You squeeze at his thighs again, “Since you’ve been such a good puppy I think I should reward you.” You lift your head up and make quick work at his belt, “I’m gonna shove your cock so far down my throat, the only thing you’re gonna think of is me.” 

You slide the belt out of the hoops and start unbuttoning his jeans, “The only name you’re gonna chant is mine.” His hips lift as you pull down his pants along with his underwear, his cock springs free, “I’m going to consume your entire being and you’re gonna love every second of it.” 

His bottom lip quivers when you wrap your hand around the base of his cock, “You already consume me, every day.” His voice shakes. 

You give his tip a soft kiss and he almost busts right then and there, “Is that so?” You ask. 

His bottom lip is pulled between his teeth, almost drawing blood. His breath is uneven, “Y-yes. No one else can make me feel like you do.” 

You wrap your lips around his tip and suck harshly, he cries out. The electrifying sensation only lasts a couple of seconds before you pull back, enjoying every second of his disheveled state. 

“Mm you got that right.” You moan out, “Now puppy, let me show you exactly why no one else can do what I can do.” 

----------------------------------•| ⊱✿⊰ |•----------------------------------

© 2024 KUCIKITTY. DO NOT COPY, REPUBLISH OR TRANSLATE MY WORK ANYWHERE

[badass-queer-couples-battle]

Gay wrongs tournament, round 2.5 of the major bracket

Propaganda:

For Eddie Brock and Venom:

I'm pretty sure its Canon in the comics and like, Canon adjacent in the 2nd movie??? Idk I just watched the first one sooo, anyways, this isn't propaganda i just couldn't remember if you said they needed to be Canon so I put what I rembered about that here, idk I'm proboboly just gonna send the propaganda in the ask box at a later date 

They eat people:) venom is an alien symbiote and Eddie is the host and they have melded together into one being. They care for and protect each other and are so intimately intwined they are only ever separated by force. Also they’re both absolute disasters and they periodically bite and eat the heads off their enemies. 

They eat people <3 

For Will and Hannibal:

Ive previously only heard the term "murder husbands" refer to hannigram so it feels flitting. The whole series culminated with a murder they did together bathing in blood. 

The show and ship that coined murder husbands. It’s in the text in s3 from a journalist side character. They do Many murders either together or as a message to each other. Usually this involves turning the dead body into an art piece. The show ends with them killing a guy together in a slo mo scene backed by porno music.

They're both batshit and manipulative.

ALRIGHT so they're not canonically together but it is HEAVILY implied and they have some sort of fucked up psychosexual obsession with each other. in the later parts of the show they start committing murder and cannibalism together and they're soooo unhinged but it's awesome

kill people for each other. maim each other. kill people together. most batshit insane metaphors. send each other to jail. ruin everyone’s lives. someone can probably say this better than me but these gay people are insane

Literally THE murder husbands. They kill for each other. They've tried to kill each other. They're canon in all but name, like the homoeroticism between these two is the driving force of the show.

one time hannibal folded a guy into an origami human heart

They are in love and they kill and eat people. They are called Murder Husbands in canon.

The original murder husbands (literally, that's not just their ship name, they get called that in canon)

The show begins with Will working for the FBI and trying to catch Hannibal, but because Hannibal is so intrigued by the way Will is able to see the world and the motives behind the killings so easily, it becomes a game of Hannibal isolating Will even more from the people around and seducing him to try and kill. By the time Will starts embracing the side of him that Hannibal sees, he starts oulling back and trying to distance himself so that when the time comes for Will to fully embrace himself and Hannibal, no one really suspects what they have planned. 

hannibal literally does murder as courtship and it works bc will is also a fucked up little guy

I'm actually quite offended they aren't included by default (joke). They are THE murder husbands!!!!!! (mod note: they should have been, but I wanted to see how many submissions they'd get. They got 19, making them a little more than 6% of total submission count).

do i have to say it. they literally get called murder husbands IN THE SHOW

There are 3201 works for Hannibal on ao3 tagged Murder Husbands. They are the ogs, they are the pioneers we owe it all to them.

THEE murder couple. You know it. I know it. They commit crimes at each other as courting and then commit crimes together and then fall off a cliff to wash up somewhere and live on to serve cunt. Get referred to as 'murder husbands' in canon. What more do you need

Hannigram were literally called Murder Husbands in canon, they are the og, they are THE blueprint. They were gay as hell and comitted so much murder so many crimes. THEY RAN OFF TO EUROPE TOGETHER.

[wellmetmat]

There's a post from a couple of years ago which I was reminded of and wanted to add to today, about nobody wanting to take the supplicant role in courtship, but it's unrebloggable due to some constraint the OP put on it, so I'll just quote my bit:

Being attracted to someone is distressing. I think the largest part of it is hunger to know someone (?); but when you can’t get to know them well, it ends up a stunted obsession: all that drive-to-know - enough to build a deep, detailed model of another personality - chewing over scraps of phrases and trivial actions, until you’re snappishly bored with your own mind. Your skin feels hungry and there’s nothing you can do about it: “touch starvation” is a phrase that comes to mind. The person’s absence and their presence both hurt: absence obviously, presence because once you’re there you find that there’s still distance, you still miss them. It’s rather like homesickness. Courting someone is wretched. It’s frightening and humiliating and full of agonising waiting periods and jarring mood switchbacks. It feels something like being dragged along on a fishhook, with the line attached to another person’s little finger. Liking someone more than they like you is a position of low power. The incentives are to be servile. You have nothing to bargain with: whatever they decide, you agree to with a smile. You always try to sound happy, because that’s what’s most appealing. You give up on areas of confusion instead of trying to understand, because asking questions annoys people and any annoying act pushes you closer to the cliff-edge of losing them. Any small disagreement feels like a large risk, so you distort your own opinions a bit. You can’t be spontaneous; your inner voice is always tallying accounts: how many days since the last message, too few, you mustn’t bother them yet / how many days since you came up with something interesting, too many, they may forget; don’t intrude so much, but simultaneously what have you done for them lately, how can you provide value to justify remaining in their life. It seems bad that we’re like this. I don’t imagine humans are especially badly formed or anything, it’s probably just as subjectively rotten for every animal that does courtship displays. But if anyone eventually makes robots with emotion-like motivational systems, they shouldn’t include anything like attraction. It’s so silly.

I feel like resurrecting this today to celebrate being out of it. In the last two weeks, somebody has given me the double gifts of liking me and of having the generosity to say so, and show so. All I want to do is be glad and be grateful, and try never to cause this person to experience anything described above.

But I stand by the description, it is a correct description, and we are so badly made it is infuriating. @nohoperadio's good post on the tragic stupidity of pain incidentally also works as a discourse on eros: if there'd been any intelligence involved in the design process, distress signals would come with an off-switch! (Hence my blog tagline.) But instead, evolution is a pitiless idiot, love is humiliation, nonviable attachments take years to starve to death, and there is no moral of the story. Absurd. A baboon could design a better emotional constitution.

Delightfully, this week ACX introduced David Pearce ("For centuries, philosophers have praised suffering as a necessary part of the human condition. For decades, David Pearce has told those other philosophers that they are bad and wrong"), who is doing his best to make a better emotional constitution available, and I approve of such a project so highly that it's been necessary to stack new levels of approval above my previous maximum to encompass how right he is. It's really exciting that any intelligent and active person considers progress of this sort possible and is working on it.

[mrs-elsie-barnes]

How Like A Winter Your Absence Has Been, What Freezings Have I Felt | Loki x Asgardian!Reader

Learning that Asgard has been destroyed you follow the Asgardians to Midgard, crash landing in a Norweigian forest. When Loki is sent to collect you old hurts are raised, new hurts are healed and an understanding is found.

Warnings: soppy snow based shinanigans, sort of friends to lovers with an enemies to lovers vibe, hurt/comfort, reader is hurt and needs stitches. Kissinngggg.

Loki calls reader 'Vennen' which is a term of endearment, between friends and lovers, but can be seen as patronising in the wrong tone or context.

Divider by @firefly-graphics

Masterlist | Loki Masterlist

The sullen silence filling the cabin of the car weighed heavy on Loki’s shoulders. It’d been years since you’d seen each other, before Ragnarok, before Odin had left Asgard. Years. And yet the familiar awkwardness of your presence still ate at him. 

In the passenger seat you fidgeted. Frustrated that your return had ended like this, helpless in a Norwegian forest you’d never visited, returning to a home you’d never seen. News had travelled slowly across the galaxies, but as soon as you’d heard that Asgard had fallen you’d been trying to return. Your ship had fought you all the way, trying to set a course to a world that existed only as errant space dust and you’d floated there, fighting off the creatures that crawled among its ruins, until you’d received word of a new settlement, here on Midgard. 

It hadn’t surprised you, both brothers had always been obsessed with the place and, driving through the night, flashes of snow carved out of the darkness by the moon, you could understand why. Norway was a beautiful land. 

“So, you still can’t pilot your ship.” Loki’s voice cut through the silence and you huffed in response. 

“I’m not the one who blew up a planet. It’s not built for landing in Midgard’s atmosphere, how was I to know it’d start burning up.” You looked out of the window, how dare he make jokes about Ragnarok, how dare he. 

“I doubt the builders will be able to salvage it.” 

“I don’t care, leave me alone.” 

It was Loki’s turn to huff out a laugh, “you intend to walk back to New Asgard, vennen? Be our guest, I care not.” 

He slowed down as the endless skies opened and a new flurry of snow swirled around the car. 

If he could’ve chosen a way to spend a cold, snowy night before Solstice Loki would’ve chosen reading by the fire or drinking with Val and Thor. Maybe even an evening’s walk on the cliffs. He certainly would not have taken Thor’s Avenger’s issue Land Rover to trawl through miles of empty forest, but looking for you, that was a task that he had felt was his and his alone. So why was spending this much time alone together, in a confined space, when you hadn’t seen each other for eons, making his skin feel tight. 

“Then why did you come?” 

“Because despite Thor’s abdication I still owe a duty to my people, I would never leave an Asgardian stranded.” He kept his eyes on the road ahead, he knew if he turned you’d be looking at him with those beautiful eyes, studying him in that way that always made him nervous, and his eyes twinkled at the thought of you rattled. “Besides, I couldn’t resist the opportunity to tease you mercilessly while you have no escape.” He chuckled, but stopped abruptly when you made a noncommittal noise in return and turned back to your window, sliding a hand into your jacket. . 

The car jostled again, wheels catching in the patchy road. You’d been able to land your ship well enough outside of New Asgard to not hurt anyone, somewhere in the vastness of the forest, but it had been a bumpy landing after a harrowing few weeks free falling through the devastation of your home. You were in no mood for teasing, even if you had missed that glint in Loki’s eye, the way his smile twitched at the corners of his mouth. It had been too long to dwell on that now, you were here to settle with the rest of your people and that was the extent of it. It was nothing to do with Loki at all. 

Another noise escaped your lips as the road took a sharp turn and this time Loki noticed, turning his head slightly, you refused to think about the way the upturned collar of his coat emphasised the sharpness of his cheekbones. Why would you care about such a thing anyway?

“Are you injured, vennen?” 

“No.” 

“Are you certain, you made a noise?” 

“Do you not think me capable of assessing my own bodily needs?” You snapped, digging your fingernails into your palms in an effort to stave off the groaning pain in your side. 

“As you wish.” He sighed, holding a hand up as if in surrender and turning his eyes back to the road, now turning this way and that as it made its way back down the mountainside. At each turn the wheels of the car span in the mud and snow caked along the side of the road, and each time you stifled your pain. 

The road evened out again and Loki put his foot down, slush and snow spraying up the sides of the 4 x 4 as he sped through the night. 

“Careful, Loki, we’ll -” your warning was cut short, the back two wheels fishtailed, dragging the car across the road in a wide circle before coming to a stop. Loki hit the steering wheel with the palm of his hand. 

“By the norns, this infernal fucking machine!” He griped.  

“I told you to - “

“Yes, yes.” He lowered his forehead to the wheel and took a deep breath. “Let me inspect it.” 

He opened the door, bracing against the gust of wind whipping up the open path the road made through the otherwise dense forest. The door closed with such finality that for a moment you were alone again, suspended in the debris of a former life and wishing for home. You couldn’t take the silence and, though your skin stretched painfully around your injuries, you opened your door too. 

Loki ran his fingers through his hair, leaving the long dark waves spiked and tangled to be played with by the wind. There was a huge patch of ice in the middle of the road leading back up the mountain. He placed one hand on the back window to steady himself, his mind reeling, he could’ve hurt you. In his haste to get back to the village he could’ve hurt you. 

The slamming of the door echoed through the trees and he looked up to see you shivering in the snow. You were dressed for space, not for Norway, fitted leather leggings and tunic hugging every familiar curve of your body, he only had to glance at you to remember the feel of you when you’d last sparred in Asgard, your waist corseted beneath his palms, the beat of your heart so close to his, your breath, ghosting over his lips before you’d pulled away abruptly and left him lying there in the dirt. 

Your only sensible clothes were your boots, heavy and solid, and your jacket, padded and warm against the cold of your spaceship, but not the biting ice of a Norwegian winter. 

Loki looked away, the car wasn’t buried in the snow or stuck in the mud, it would be fine with a shove. But when he looked up you had gone, your footprints leading to the edge of the forest. 

He followed, concerned, despite your warrior training. Loki breathed a sigh of relief when he saw you brushing snow from the needles of a fir tree, pressing the flakes into a small ball. His mouth lifted at the corner, so it was going to be snowballs, he could play that game. Loki’s magic shimmered as he gathered snow into a perfectly formed sedir built snowball, but paused. Instead of turning and throwing it, as he expected, you lifted the ice to your face, wincing. His hand opened and the snowball fell to the permafrost with a dull thud. 

“Loki,” you looked surprised, dropping your ice as well and wiping your face with the sleeve of your jacket. 

“What happened to your face? Why are you icing it?”

“Nothing, it’s nothing. Can we leave? Is this thing broken? The carar?” You eyed it warily and it occurred to Loki that despite all your time travelling in space, you’d never actually been to Midgard. “It doesn’t appear to be very sturdy considering the conditions.”

“The car,” he smiled, “is fine. Your chariot awaits, my lady.” He opened the door and you allowed him to help you back into the passenger seat, if only to hide your other injuries. 

Loki kicked the snow from the tires and used a gust of magic to blow the snow from the solid mud beneath before returning to the car. 

“I have become accustomed to the ways of this planet over many years and I forget that for you, this is your first visit.” he said, quietly, as soon as the road evened out again,

Loki never took his eyes from the road, but you saw the subtle twitch in his jaw, knew the movement all too well, he couldn’t say sorry, but he would admit his faults in his own way and hope that you forgave him. 

“Everything is new here.” You answered, quietly, an acceptance of his statement, no acknowledgement of his apology. 

The next bend was more gentle and Loki took the angle slowly, but you still hissed, biting your lip to hide the pain. 

“You have hurt yourself.”

“It’s nothing.” 

“If it were nothing, you would be silent.” Loki raised an eyebrow, peering ahead into the dark night and spotting a gravelled area away from the road with a picnic bench, bin and parking space.

 He’d spotted it on the way out too, there’d been a few cars parked there with their headlights on, a group of friends in huge coats and hats sharing a flask of something steaming hot and toasting each other. Now, in the darkness, there was none of the warmth of their gathering left, but at least there was a quiet. 

Loki put his arm over the back of your seat, his palm flat on the wheel as he reversed the Land Rover into the middle space, and you pressed your knees together at the memory of his hands on the tiller of the flying faerings as you raced them between the pillars of the bridges on Asgard. He had the same easy grace, his fingers dancing on the metal as they did over the leather of the wheel. You squeezed harder, ignoring that same building of fire and need you’d experience then as well. This was nothing, there was nothing, between the two of you. He had been sent as a courtesy, you had arrived because you had nowhere else to go. 

“Let me look.” He ordered, removing his seat belt and pushing his seat back so he could turn to face you properly. 

“No, it’s under my shirt.” You protested, pressing your hand harder into your rib. “Besides, it’s probably just broken. I’ll bandage it when you take me to my lodgings.” 

“Move your hand.” His voice had dropped slightly, more akin to the Princely demands you were used to him making, his eyes were dark, the sharp angle of his cheekbones picked out by the harsh interior light. 

“You can’t order me about, Loki, you’re not in charge here.” 

“I am still concerned, please, let me see.” Those dark eyes softened, and he reached his hand out to pull your jacket away from your body. Between your fingers the soft brown and bronze of your tunic had turned maroon, the bloom of blood soaking through like watercolour. “You’re bleeding.” His eyes roved from the poppy shaped stain emerging from beneath your fingers to your face. “You’re bleeding and you kept this from me.” 

“It’s nothing, I’ll fix it later.” 

“It’s not nothing, please let me help you.” He tugged on your sticky fingers, the residue of your blood staining his own long digits and for a moment you allowed his hand to hold your own and then - 

“I don’t need your help,” you snatched it back. 

“Please, let me -” 

“No.” 

“I can fix it for you, I can help.” 

“I don’t need your help, Loki. I don’t - I don’t need it, I learned to live without you.” You stormed, tugging your coat back around you to hide the evidence of your injury. Even facing the window you could see his stunned face behind you, reflected in the darkness beyond. 

“You learned to live without me?” Loki sighed, his shoulders sagging under the weight of your words. “Vennen -” 

“Don’t call me that, don’t call me that when you know we are not friends, I am nothing to you and -” 

Loki reached across the centre console of the car to touch your shoulder but you flinched, eyes staring out at the road again, unable to look at Loki or his reflection. 

“How can you say that?” Loki withdrew again, brows furrowed, “how could you think you are nothing to me?” 

“Where were you?” You rounded on him, “where were you that was so much more amusing than being with us, I thought you dead and gone, I thought you buried on some fearful planet far from Valhalla for all eternity, I thought I would never see you again in this life or the next and - and - and you have the audacity to collect me like some lost thing on this planet and expect me to fall in step beside you as always, well. No more. No more, Loki. I don’t need you. Take me to see the King and leave me there as you always do.” Tears spilled over your cheeks, dropping in heavy splashes on your hands as you bent to hide your angry sobbing. But the movement only caused further pain, blood spilling from under your tunic onto your lap.

In a moment Loki was by your side, the car door open and his arms wrapped around you, holding you close to his chest as he carried you to the back of the vehicle. He set you down gently, opening the door at the back and sitting you on the open ledge. 

“I must tend to this wound now, before it gets worse. They don’t have the same technology here yet, our doctors -” he paused, swallowing down the guilt that he couldn’t have saved more of his people during Ragnarok and quashed the feeling for another day, “we are short on doctors, should something happen to the wound -” he trailed off, opening a small green box that had been hooked onto the door. 

He warred with himself, fighting down the urge to defend all that he’d done, the pain it had caused him to leave his friends and family for so long. 

“Fine.” You conceded and pulled your tunic up as high as you could, revealing the large gash in your side. Norns, it was worse than you’d thought, curving around your side, over a rib or two and down towards the top of your trousers. 

Loki’s touch was gentle as he mopped up the blood, wringing the cloth clean with his magic until he could see each side of the cut clearly. Every touch made goosebumps erupt on your skin, the tingle of his magic mixing with the softness of his touch, the warmth of his fingers.

 “What happened to you?” 

“I told you, my ship is supposed to stay in space, it’s not supposed to enter the atmosphere.” 

It had begun burning up on entry, flames licking up the sides of the small craft and you’d squeezed your eyes shut, bracing against the inevitable fall. You didn’t remember the landing, only waking up with your own blood on your hands, shards of metal surrounding you and feeling colder than you ever had before. 

“We should have sent someone to meet you,  I - I apologise.” Loki kept his eyes cast down, long fingers fiddling with a needle and thread. 

“Yes, you should have.” You looked down at him, crouched by your legs in the snow, the ice no doubt biting through his leathers already and he looked up, eyes wide and wet with unhushed tears. 

“I am, truly, sorry, for what I made you go through. Please, will you forgive me?” He set the now threaded needle down on its sterile tray and placed his hands on your thighs instead, his hands were cold now, but a wave of warm sedir washed over you, brushing away the shivers wracking your body. 

“Maybe, Loki -” 

“I know, I have a lot of apologising to do, I don’t deserve your forgiveness-” 

But he was considering it, it was the first time you’d ever heard the words uttered from him, and it made your heart yearn for the safe harbour of his friendship again, even if you knew better than to believe the storms were over. 

“It’s not that, it just, it still hurts, I want to forgive you, but it still hurts.” 

A frozen tear held steady in the corner of his eye, but he nodded in understanding. 

“Can you at least forgive me the pain this will cause,” he tipped his head towards the needle, “I can numb you as much as possible, but I have no doubt it will sting.” With a flourish he produced a cut glass with a healthy measure of whisky inside, “drink this first.” 

You downed the burning amber in one gulp, allowing it to warm you deeply and nodded. Loki stood, that familiar glimmer of gold and green drying his wet legs and knees, removing the snow that clung to his coat. 

“Lay back,” he removed his coat and folded it, placing it under your head as he helped you lean into the boot of the car. Prone and cold with your tunic shucked up to your armpits you felt ridiculous and exposed, but there was no teasing when Loki asked if you were happy for him to start. 

The first stitch was the most painful, but his cold fingers made your skin numb as he worked quickly and steadily until the aching pain was at least unaccompanied by the hot seeping of your blood through your fingers. 

Loki stood back, surveying his work in the cold white light from the tiny bulb in the car’s interior, and brushed his damp hair back from his face. “Does that feel better?” 

“Yes, thank you.” Swiftly you pulled your tunic down, and shuffled to sit on the ledge of the boot again, feet hanging off the edge. 

Loki left you like that, pacing away from the car and surveying the road ahead. The snowfall had increased since you stopped and the drifts were now encroaching further into the already narrow track. It would be a treacherous trip back down the rest of the mountain. 

“I think we should camp here tonight.” He said, steadily, though his heart beat wildly beneath his sweater. 

“Loki, it’s freezing cold, below freezing.”

“It’s one of my brother’s friends’ cars.” Loki said, flippantly, as if that explained anything at all instead of raising a hundred new questions. 

You raised your eyebrows, waiting for him to elaborate. 

“It has - things - inside. He spent some time with the Avengers? You must have heard of them, terribly annoying, but I must say their accessories are very helpful.” He stared at you waiting for you to understand. 

“You and Thor and your little Midgardians,” you laughed, “I have no idea what you’re talking about, but let's see these accessories that will keep us warm in a car in the snow.” 

Loki stretched out his hand, helping you get your feet back on the ground. You felt dizzy after your stitches and the no doubt centuries old whisky Loki had conjured for you, but he held your arm politely while he walked you over to a picnic bench. 

“Settle here and all will be revealed.” 

He allowed himself a smile and, unbidden, you smiled too. It was hard to remain angry when this was all you’d wanted for so long, this adventure into the unknown was exactly what you’d been missing. 

Loki ruffled his hair again in thought before pushing the long, icy strands away from his face. He examined the car, then pushed the rear seats down flat. With a hum they fell forwards, creating a wide flat platform. He pulled at another lever and the carpeted floor flipped over, revealing a padded mattress beneath. 

You laughed in shock, what funny contraptions these Midgardians had. Loki allowed his smile to linger, listening to the tinkle of your laugh in the quiet woodland, it echoed and returned to you both ten fold until you were both laughing. He pulled again and a second mattress appeared so that the entire back of the car was now a bed. 

He shut the door to conserve the heat inside and used the step at the side of the car to reach into the roof box, pulling out a metal box. 

“That’s quite the trick, Loki.” You conceded, still smiling at the simple joy of it. To hide a bed inside a vehicle, you couldn’t help another giggle. 

“Well, it comes in very handy when I find myself stranded in the wilderness,” he winked, opening the tin box and extracting an odd metal item, cups, a small pan and what looked like powdered food. 

“What’s that?” You wrinkled your nose as he flicked something on the side, pumping a few times and then allowing a spark of magic to dance across the circular top. Fire erupted from between the spokes of the circle and you jumped backwards in shock before bursting out into another uncontrollable laugh. “Loki! What is that?!” 

“It’s a camping stove, I thought we could make hot chocolates.” He looked over shyly now, a peace offering. 

“That doesn’t look like chocolate,” you picked up one of the brown packets, on the front was a picture of a steaming mug, but inside was definitely powder and not solid chocolate. 

“It’s a sort of powdered drink, I need to get some water.” 

“Not cream?” 

“That would spoil the fun, would it not?” He grinned, pouring water into the pan from his canteen. 

As he worked you wound your jacket tighter around yourself, wondering if your nose was frozen or if it was normal to not be able to feel it. After a few minutes he lifted the pan from the odd round fire and poured the contents into the enamel mugs, handing one to you. 

Warily you sniffed it and then took a tentative sip, it was fine, you supposed, “it tastes nicer with cream.” 

Loki’s smile turned indulgent and, in a swirl of green, a silver bowl appeared settled in the snow atop the picnic bench, laden with heavy, whipped cream. Delighted you spooned out a generous helping and stirred it into your drink. Sipping it slowly before turning your eyes back to Loki. 

He looked resplendent in the moonlight, snow glittering over his night black clothes, the sweater only accentuating his broad shoulders and lean waist. You longed to wrap your arms around him and press yourself into his embrace, to feel as close as you once had. Everything felt different now, you had spent so much time apart that the idle games of your shared youth were just a distant memory. 

“We should get back in the car.” He announced. Now that he’d accomplished all the practical tasks that he could think of to help you, he found himself lost for words. Your admission that he had left you, failed you, somehow was a deep and painful wound. He hadn’t intended to leave and never return, he had always meant to stay and yet some force always dragged him away. It had even dragged him here. Loki had been distraught when he realised you were not on the transport out of Asgard, only reassured by Valkyrie’s insistence that you were safe, travelling. 

“I’m going to put my boots by the seats, so we don’t get snow in the beds.” 

Loki didn’t look around as you made your way slowly back to the car, politely angling his head away so that he didn’t see you slide out of your wet clothes either.

“You can enter.” You called, now wrapped in the thick sleeping bag that lined the mattresses. 

Loki opted for magic to create his own privacy, his black sweater and jeans vanishing in favour of black sweat pants and a long green t-shirt. You smiled again, so Midgardian, he looked nothing  like the swaggering prince you knew, always bedecked in silk and sumptuous fabrics. He looked, normal. 

“Do I have chocolate on my face?” He asked, climbing into his own sleeping bag.

“No, it’s nothing.” You sighed and, with a flicker, the cabin light went out plunging you into darkness. 

In the vastness of the night, cold fingers sought your own, the fingertips pressing into your palm. 

“I truly did not mean to leave Asgard for so long.” Loki whispered, “it was a fate not of my own making.” 

You sighed, rolling onto your back and away from his hand. “I believe you.” Focussing on your tired limbs you attempted to sleep, closing your eyes and exchanging one darkness for another. But sleep refused to take you, dangling you on the precipice of unconsciousness, only to remind you of all that you had lost, before you could plunge into oblivion. You woke again, your heart in your throat, your stomach in knots, and Loki lay beside you. 

His features were relaxed, his breathing even, the lines of his cheekbones looked softer, somehow, now that his lips were partially open. The temperature must have cooled, for each breath was like a will-o-the-wisp, dancing from between his plush lips and fogging the windows. How you wished you could join him in sleep again, you couldn’t remember when your dreams had taken you, but the moon had moved around the car so sleep must have found you somehow. 

Betrayed by your own hands you reached out for him, touching his arm with a single finger, just to make sure he was still there. 

“If you are cold, vennen, you have only to say.” His voice startled you, your hand jumping back as if burnt. 

“I - I didn't mean to.”

Eyes still closed, lashes brushing his cheeks, he held his hand out and you took it. Snow had covered the little glass window in the roof of the car, so you could no longer see the stars. All was gone, yet Loki lay here with you, his fingers laced with your own. 

“I did not wish to cause you pain, truly, it was not your doing nor did you deserve to suffer because of it.” 

“I know, Loki.” 

“Will you let me make it better for you?” 

You turned to meet his ice blue eyes, still sparkling, filmed with tears he was too scared to shed. 

“There is nothing to be done to bring Asgard back.” 

“I am aware,” he smiled, “but I wish to heal you nevertheless.” 

“You have stitched me, that is all that can be done.” 

“Vennen,” you looked at him again, his face serious, “let me heal this between us.” 

You stared back, confused, and then his free hand reached out and cupped your bruised cheek and that was all you saw before his lips were on yours. 

Loki tasted like expensive whisky and dark chocolate, his lips like velvet, warm and soft as they brushed against your own. You fit together so perfectly that you couldn't help but roll closer, pressing a hand to his chest and feeling the warmth of his heart beat beneath. 

But then the stitches over your ribs pulled, your hiss of pain swallowed by Loki's protective kiss. With gentle hands he rolled your back, hovering over you and blotting out the darkness with his smile. 

“If you hurt yourself more, I shall have to continue to heal you.” His lips skated over yours, so tantalisingly close. 

“Then I suppose I’ll need to crash my ship again,” you smiled up at him, your Loki, and for the first time since you’d landed you didn’t feel the pain or the cold or the fear of a new place. Only Loki’s lips on yours and the knowledge that he would never leave you again. 

The title is from Shakespeare's Sonnet 97:

How like a winter hath my absence been From thee, the pleasure of the fleeting year! What freezings have I felt, what dark days seen! What old December’s bareness every where! And yet this time removed was summer’s time, The teeming autumn, big with rich increase, Bearing the wanton burden of the prime, Like widow’d wombs after their lords’ decease: Yet this abundant issue seem’d to me But hope of orphans and unfather’d fruit; For summer and his pleasures wait on thee, And, thou away, the very birds are mute; Or, if they sing, ’tis with so dull a cheer That leaves look pale, dreading the winter’s near.

[prettypinkporkchop]

🙏thank you once again for feeding my Leah obsession, if I could tip I would

Could we get a Leah x reader where r is Bella’s sister, completely different from each other considering r favored the shifters over the Cullens (cause of Leah). Any angst / drama / fluff could be up to you

Leah is Bae. Thank you for being a fan I love you

In this story: New moon and eclipse era. You are older than Bella. Leah and Seth have already shifted in new moon. You are already with Leah and know everything.

You grab your jacket off of the couch as Bella, your younger sister, takes your wrist and drags you to the front door. "Come on! Y/n, you have to trust me." She says.

You're so confused but also concerned, considering you know this is a mental breakdown from Edward's absence. "Bella, he's gone!" You try to get your wrist out of her grip.

"You have to see this." She ends up dragging you into her truck. You're not sure what to expect. You're not sure what is happening. All you know is, this is some Hugh school drama and your sister is taking it too far.

She drives out toward La Push.

"Bella, can you just accept what is happening? Okay! He is gone. Fucking, thankfully! He's not coming back. You can't love a vampire! Where are we going?!" You have your hand on the dashboard as she speeds down the reservation. You're trying to reason with her.

"We are going to the cliff. Please, just trust me." She smiles.

"Bella, we can't jump that! We aren't wolves! You're going to die!"

She keeps speeding down the road. All you can do is keep her from jumping the cliff.

You both make it there and climb through the woods to get to the top of the cliff. You look down and see waves crashing, and the wind is going through your hair. You quickly turn to Bella, who is mumbling to herself.

"What are you doing?" You ask, panicked.

She continues to stare off. You take this time to sneak a text, Leah. She begins to take off her jacket and bracelets. This scares you, making you drop your phone on the ground. She's still mumbling, and then she moves closer to the cliff.

"Bella!" You grab her waist and try to pull her back. Her small body weight was still too heavy for your weak self. You fall with her.

"Y/n? Babe?" You open your eyes and see a soaked Leah hovering over you.

You're so cold, and your ribs hurt. You cough and lift your head to turn over to see Bella coughing up water with Jacob hovering over her. You sigh and then lay your head back down, looking up at the beautiful woman above you. Leah's lips turn into a soft smile as she tucks your hair behind your ear.

"Y/n, I'm sorry." Bella croaks.

Leah's head turns, and she growls at her. "Bella, I have been kind to you. You have officially done it."

You don't even try to stop her. You don't want her to. Bella is so selfish, and you are so different. You're more upbeat, social, and you're too kind.

You groan and sit up, rubbing your neck. "Leah, can we go to your house?" You ask.

Leah lifts you up and carries you to her house and takes you into her bedroom. Your back is greeted by the soft bed.

"I'm wet." You sit up and look at Leah as she walks to her dresser.

"I know, baby." She takes out some clothes and then turns to face you. "Want to take a bath?" She touches your cheek.

You smile and nod, closing your eyes. "Join me?"

"I sure will." She presses her lips to yours.

You kiss her back and then stand up, not breaking away. She tucks the shirt under her arm and grabs onto your waist. You finally pull away because of the wet clothes.

"I'm uncomfortable in these wet jeans." You giggle.

She peppers kisses all over your face. "Let's fix that."

----

"What do I wear?" Bella asks from your bedroom door.

You turn from facing your mirror and look at her. "It's a bonfire." You chuckle and shake your head. You're wearing the most casual outfit, and you observe it in the mirror.

You're lowkey pissed about how Bella is during this whole battle. Of course, she's the reason for this shit. Now, your girlfriend is involved. She's so leading Jake on, making him think he has any chance. It's ridiculous! It's mean. Plus, Edward's ugly. But you try to tell Jake to leave it alone because he hasn't imprinted on her.

"Well, I'm also an outsider. I don't feel... the most comfortable." She shifts her feet.

"Then don't go." You shrug and grab your keys and phone from the bed.

"I'm going! I'll just throw something on." She huffs.

In the car on the way there, you're playing your music. You don't have it up too loud because Bella hates music. Weirdo.

"Does Leah still hate me?" Bella finally speaks.

"Yes. Rightfully so." You reply.

"I don't care. I love Edward." Bella shakes her head.

"Then why ask? It's not about your cold boyfriend anymore. It's everything else."

She doesn't reply. You just keep driving.

--- a few hours later---

All night, Leah was teasing you, putting her hands all over you and whispering things in your ear. She's really pushing your limit, making it too hard to hold back from taking her.

Thankfully, Jacob left with Bella. Leah is driving your car to her house. Her hand is on your thigh, her thumb rubbing over your pants. You get enough and lean over, attacking her neck with bites and kisses.

She hisses in pleasure and makes a few noises. "Baby, I'm driving. Just a minute." She chuckles.

Your hand grabs onto hers that's on your thigh. You slowly move her hand up to where you want her most.

She makes a sharp turn into the woods and you realize that she's about to fuck you in your car in the woods. That's a first.

----

You're sitting in the living room with your dad and Alice. Alice is telling Charlie that her and Bella are having a sleepover. You know the truth. Alice keeps side eyeing you. You have your arms crossed and aren't making any rude faces or anything. You know you're just a human. She could hurt you so easily.

"Y/n? Do you want to come with us?" Alice asks with a smile. You realize she's doing this on purpose to fuck with Leah, even fucking though the wolves and vamps are helping each other at the moment.

"Uh, no I'm good!" You smile and wave off, kindly.

"Come on! It'll be fun! You and your sister need more time together. She's about to go off to college, you know." Your dad softly nudges you.

"Nah." You giggle.

He nods his head and looks at Alice. "She's too old for sleepovers now." He laughs.

She laughs loudly and looks at you. Okay, you get it, she's old.

---- after the whole battle ---

"Would you want a wedding?" You run your fingers over her arm that's over your naked body. Her bed beneath you both, and some music playing.

She lifts her face up from your neck. "Yeah, I do want a wedding."

You smile and study her eyes that you can barely see from the shine of the moon in her window.

"Is it because of Bella?" Leah asks.

"I don't care about them. I don't even want to go to their wedding. I want you and me. Us." You roll over so you're on top of her body. Your head rests on her collarbone.

"I love you, y/n. I always have and always will." She runs her fingers through your hair.

"I love you, too, Leah. I expect to be a clearwater when I wake up." You laugh.

She laughs as well and gently slaps your ass. "You got it."

[brooklyncircus]

"Until you..." part. 3.

Hiromi Higuruma x reader.

Until you arrived, Hiromi Higuruma had never waited with so much nervous anticipation for the day to end. All with the purpose of being able to wake up the next morning, catch that same train at the same time, and see if fate was kind enough to let him see you again.

He knew he was being a bit (or very) obsessive about this, but he didn’t care. He’d already accepted that your existence, your presence, intrigued him.

A great deal, to be exact.

As he worked, between sighs, litres of black coffee, and the incessant ticking of that damn clock driving him mad, he couldn’t help but think of you.

Hiromi found himself asking basic questions like, 'What might her name be? How old could she be? Why would she want to go to the city library... is she a university student or just fond of reading? If so, what books might be her favourites? Which university does she attend?'

And above all… 'Why hadn’t I seen her before?'

Though he knew it wouldn’t have changed much, he couldn’t help but mentally kick himself every time the image of your lovely face, your lovely smile, or your lovely eyes distracted him from his work and shattered his pretence of peace.

The truth was, Hiromi was conflicted. Part of him—the logical, rational, intelligent, serious part, and specifically, the not stupid part—already felt like an obsessive maniac. His mind tended to exaggerate things and his feelings in an unhealthy way, just to feel guilty and have a 'valid' excuse to do nothing about what he was feeling. To prolong his self-punishment, he even forced himself to recall all those cases of obsessive men who kidnapped the women they were fixated on and…

Well, he knew he had to stop thinking like that because he would rather die than go to that twisted, sick extreme.

The other part of him (the emotional, sentimental, impulsive, idiotic, and very, very foolish part) kept telling him that nothing bad would happen. That he should keep the faith, that everything would be fine. To let things flow naturally, that it was simply a crush on a stranger…

'Crush,' he repeated to himself, pondering. It sounded like 'crash', like the sound he could make driving a car at full speed off a cliff to end his own life. Which, at that very moment, sounded like an excellent plan.

Back to the previous matter, the foolish part of him urged him to just say, 'To hell with everything and everyone.' To let things continue if they were meant to.

And as reckless as it might seem (to him, of course), Hiromi decided to say to hell with it.

Because yes, he was interested in you. Very much. Was there anything wrong with that?

And until you arrived, Hiromi Higuruma had never waited with so much nervous anticipation for the day to end. All with the purpose of being able to wake up the next morning, catch that same train at the same time, and see if fate was kind enough to let him see you again.

[master-of-junk]

Familiar (Gojo x reader)

____________________________

“(Y/n)! You’re always such a buzzkill!” Your unamused eyes found Gojo smiling at you standing a few feet away from you. You huffed “What? Because I won’t let you take the kids out for ice cream?” Gojo’s bright smile never waved- but it did widen “No- because you still won’t get close with them- Us! We’re all a team.” You turned your head back towards the forest floor. You were both currently hiding up in the trees to avoid being seen by the students.

You and Gojo were both instructors at jujitsu tech. You had come along sometime after geto had passed away. You knew vaguely of the situation but at shoko’s advice, you didn’t ask too much to Gojo. You could easily tell how Gojo was affected by the mere mention of his late friend. This caused you to be a little more lenient with the man. Instead of your usually cold and serious expression you were more lazy and relaxed around Gojo and even entertained conversation with him.

To your knowledge Gojo was just a traumatized playboy. As you got to know Gojo, you actually didn’t mind him all too much and you somewhat enjoyed getting a rise out of him “That’s because I’m not apart of your team. I’m just helping out- like yaga said to.” Gojo couldn’t help but pout slightly at your words.

Gojo, on the other hand, was borderline obsessed with you. At first he thought it was because of that tired yet relaxed look you usually had about you. Serious but somehow inviting. You were intimidating yet not overwhelming. You reminded him of geto before he got to know geto.

Then he spoke to you and it got worse. You were forward and blunt, almost rude- but you were funny. What’s more is you had never even batted an eyelash towards him, whether it would have been out of curiosity, attraction, or anything else. You treated him just like anyone else.

However, the nail in the coffin for Saturo, was your cursed technique. He felt like it was almost a cruel joke when he saw you use it for the first time. Your cursed technique was absorption. Although your abilities weren’t the exact same of geto’s, they were similar enough to drive Gojo off a cliff. Initially, Gojo lied to himself all day long that he just saw geto in you and that’s why you two got along so well and why he felt so comfortable around you.

He crossed his arms getting a little too comfortable with you “You’re never gonna surpass someone like me if you isolate yourself so much, (Y/n).” His tone slightly taunting but truthful. You turned your head huffing “Bold of you to assume I couldn’t beat you now.” Gojo was a bit surprised at your words.

There was that forwardness he found so alluring, for some reason, Yet he tilted his head down at you. His grin telling you all you needed to know before he spoke “Oh? You think so? That’s pretty bold even for you- I’m a bit surprised!” He snickered at you making you huff and stand up “Alright-“ he watched you stretch, an unfamiliar glean on your lazy expression “Come on then. Let’s fight saturo.”

Gojo’s smile vanished in an instant. The last time this happened- he had to stop himself from thinking of geto again- ‘Let’s fight saturo!’. A small part of him did feel bad for making such a connection between the two of you, as the idea of both of you and geto existing in his mind at the same time bothered him for reasons he couldn’t exactly pin point.

You saw Gojo looking at you thoughtfully through his blindfold. You wondered silently why he was suddenly so quiet but decided to taunt him as you shoved your hands into your pockets “Come on- you scared?? I’d be the best at the school if I beat you, right?”

Your words brought him back as he huffed “As if you could ever beat me!” He hiked a thumb at himself as a hand went to his hip “There’s a reason I’m the best! The strongest.” He reaffirmed. A lazy smirk etched into your face as you shrugged out “Then fight me.” He looked at you slightly troubled again but said honestly “I wouldn’t want to hurt you-“ you rolled your eyes pulling your weapon “Alright- since you think I’m so weak- I’ll make the first move.” In an instant you appeared behind him swinging your blade towards his throat. Just as you assumed, he dodged it using the six eyes and his cursed technique in tandem. That gravity trick of his was annoying. You huffed standing “You gonna be serious now? I was moving slow on purpose.” Gojo stood across you…

He was tempted… the last person who was strong enough to fight him and hold their own was of course geto. His mind buzzed slightly as it dared him to see how far he could push you. His grin widen as he tugged a part of his blindfold down “Since your so pushy-“

In an instant the both of you were fighting. It started innocent. With small, experimental attacks as Gojo tried to restrain himself slightly against you, but as you pushed him more then he thought you would, his grasp started to slip. He impulsively started fighting you without worry if you’d dodge or not. It was only when Yuji called out at the edge of a crater you two had formed when the full brunt of Gojo’s force came down on you and you held your ground against him, that the fighting stopped. Once Yuji had broken up your fight, you surveyed the damage panting and huffed “We’ll call it a draw for now.” And briskly walked past Gojo, hitting his chest slightly “Better be careful, I’ll get you next time Gojo.” You flashed a small mischievous grin at him.

Gojo merely stood there for a moment watching your back as you walked away, calling at Yuji and Nobara about magumi. Little did you know…

you already got him.

[fountainpenguin]

Liveblogging Grian's Session 3 Secret Life POV:

slkdjfsldkfjslkdjfslksdjf-

Grian, who is now soulbound to Joel, rushes over and pines for him in a needy way. Joel brushes him off because "One second, I'm bonding." Grian: "I might need you to un-bond. Joel..."

Joel really did take one look at Grian's task and immediately throw himself off a cliff so Grian took damage.

Grian adopts the role of Joel's bodyguard.

Joel runs to his wife who calls Grian creepy. Joel and Lizzie start fighting and Grian just stands there like "... Aren't you married?"

Scar asks Joel to undress in front of him and Grian screeches.

This all happens within 5 minutes.

Grian: "I'll be a good friend and just shut up."

Joel left Grian to his own devices and he immediately went home and burned down his staircase base.

Me, still playing the video while typing this liveblog: "Lol, I know this isn't the vibe, but you could spin this around and interpret it like he's lonely and wants to move in with Joel." Grian, immediately: "My house is on fire, Joel! Now I can move in with you! <3"

sldkfj the irony of Grian saying "I don't want to be friends with Tim; I did that last time" (Bad Boys in Limited Life) while hanging out with Joel, the other Bad Boy.

Joel: "I might just re-roll for a hard task. For one thing, if I fail and lose 10 hearts, then you lose them too-" Grian: "WHAAAAT???"

Joel chilling and watching Grian fight a zombie: "Protect me Grian."

Jimmy: "He seems to be following Joel around a lot." Grian, dying inside: "We're not that close."

sdkjflh Grian mocking Mumbo like "How can you be so into cars and not know how to drive a camel? It's only a few letters' difference!"

I love Grian and Mumbo crawling and Grian turns around and kicks Mumbo in the face like "Can you feel the Feather Falling IV on those babies?"

I've only seen Tango's and half of Grian's POVs so far, but I'm guessing Mumbo's task isn't necessarily to kill the camel, but to prevent Scar from riding the camel? That's hilarious. Can't argue with the logic that Scar cannot ride a dead camel.

Obsessed with Joel and Grian standing under the cherry tree as the blossoms fall around them and Grian's like "My best friend!" and Joel just leans in and says "I demand your heart."

Grian: "... Maybe we should go somewhere more private for that? Your wife is right there." sldkfj

I appreciate Joel towering up while Grian starts screaming that the Yellows are coming and he needs to keep going higher, all while Martyn is trying to scramble up to him. I presume the rule is that if you're calling someone out on their task, you have to do it face to face, so you can avoid this by running away? That's hilarious.

Joel looks so comfy in his hoodie skin. Good for him.

Grian, chasing endermen and trying to hit them with boats: "Not even this enderman wants to be my friend!!"

Grian: "I have an idea. If I want friends, I have to make my base friend-shaped."

Cracking up at everyone in the courthouse getting jumpscared by the dramatic music sting. Grian cackling and clapping down one hand like "I lay down the rules in this server!"

I feel like we can definitely run with Scar watching Mumbo face the Secretkeeper, which puffs out its little red dust clouds, and muttering to Grian: "I just had a vision of Mumbo's eyes turning red for a second." </3

sldkjf Scott's task being to get people to say "Love you" back to him. He starts listing off people who said it back, then says "Pearl didn't say it back." The divorce quartet drama continues.

Grian: "I've got Feather Falling IV! Watch this!" /takes fall damage.

Wheezing at Grian watching BigB run off like "I don't know game BigB's playing, but it's not Secret Life."

Session 3 Grian POV <3

[verdemoun]

How did the various characters in the gang react to the moon landing? To the idea that man managed to go to the Moon? 🧑‍🚀🌌🚀🌕

one of the few things hosea will readily agree with dutch about in modern era is that the moon landing was a hoax. they are old men they cannot wrap their minds around the concept of humanity reaching the moon and there being so many conspiracies made it each for them to deny it

lenny and hosea get into full screaming arguments over this on the regular, because they get along and think so alike and that is his father figure, but lenny is obsessed with astronomy to the point he wants to get a timeline of the history of space travel as a tattoo. hosea not believing in the moon landing drives him up the wall

arthur tries not pick sides because both arguments make sense to him (he is a moon landing actually happened truther because the conspiracies just don't make sense to him) but sometimes it's almost tragic 'but hosea and dutch said-' 'arthur if hosea and dutch told you to jump off a cliff- bad example'

one of the more wholesome moments was mary-beth lived to see the moon landing and as a romance writer was interviewed about it.

the gang watch a grainy video on youtube of a very old mary-beth smoking with a cigarette holder being interviewed by someone going 'pssh, the moon landing? people have been going to the moon for decades well i remember a dear friend of mine went in-... oh that bastard!!'

arthur gets a chuckle because it took marybeth 70 years to realise he was joking, poor gullible girl she was. also it's oddly self-assuring to know 'yes i am not insane i am actually an outlaw from the 19th century in the 21st century' (imposter syndrome constant) and mary-beth still remembers positive memories. she held onto good times and passing conversations and it's a fuzzy warm feeling knowing that

kieran is happy to sit through lenny hyperfixated watching the moon landing because he imagines mary-beth watching it with him, knowing she got to see the same thing happen but in real time