#they hate mal btw
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descendantofthesparrow · 10 months ago
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No I Don't plan on watching it.
Yet
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jessmalia · 7 months ago
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MAL'S TOP SEVEN VILLAINS: #1. Katherine Pierce (The Vampire Diaries) "Oh, honey, you really need to take a crash course in Villain 101. Luckily for you, I have an honorary doctorate."
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lord-malevolence · 2 months ago
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mistermalaprop · 2 months ago
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my co-teacher and I getting into an argument literally two minutes after seeing one another (jazz is my boss who was awkwardly standing there)
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nami-moittli · 4 months ago
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Motherfucking bitch won’t come home
Going to draw him dead for this offense
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boycritter · 7 months ago
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im a senior in high school and im Normal about it. dont look at my blog.
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malevolentsilly · 11 months ago
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hate anons are so funny like what possessed you to just go into a strangers ask box like "kill yourself you waste of space" bro you sound like the people our teachers warned us about when we were 7
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miabrown007 · 1 year ago
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mal in the grishaverse is to alina what jacob in twilight has been to bella. in this essay i'll...
#okay so in twilight jacob is like bella it's unnatural that edward is alive he should have been dead long ago. and if he was and he didn't#meddle with natura and the timeline i would be the one for you in our timeline. but he's here because he's extra special and that makes me#obsolete. because like alina and mal matched until they were both common and not special but now alina is a summoner and#she's the specialest of special girls and mal is throwing a tempter tantrum over that right#and they are like. they should be best friends and nothing more.#anyway that was point A#I'm over not one not two but three glasses of wine but even like this I know that one point justification belongs in my friends DMs not#an essay so let me present point B#so he's like the firebird right (he just circled her hand where the last amplifier would go and they felt weird#incredible foreshadowing btw) so like he belongs to her but only part of her belongs to him and that's very jacob vibes with all the#renesmee business. and also mal is just. so desperate to define himself by what he is to alina like he expects the answer to his own#identity crisis that is the consequence of his own actions (deserting literally no one asked that of him) from her#like the only way he thinks about defining himself is in relation to her . and like yeah ig they are teenagers and 'in love' or whatever#(they have zero chemistry while the darkling and nikolai are constantly standing next to alina and it works but ig I digress)#so i'm just constantly being told and they are in love and want a simple life (and that's the very thing that made me side with Gale instead#of Peeta back when so I'm probably primed to not want that for characters) but idk I just don't see it that they'd make such a good pair#anyway I guess this is a Mal hate post and I'm dragging the moder YA lit's each and every love interest into this 'analysis'#blueberry wine is excellent by the way would recommend#miaing
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princessrazzledazzle · 3 months ago
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My Random Twisted Wonderland Headcanons
Riddle: Doesn’t only love strawberries because of the taste, but also because they’re sorta shaped like little red hearts and it reminds him of love. The love his parents never gave him, but he dreams of all the time, the love of his close friends, and romantic love. He’s secretly a hopeless romantic.
Trey: The reason he has glasses is because he used to stare into the light thing they have above you on the dentist chair on purpose.
Cater: Was into animation memes and musicals at one point. Still watches them from time to time, especially if ones trending.
Ace: Loves car racing games, whether it be a random free mobile game, arcade game, even on roblox. Used to want to be a race car driver when grew up.
Deuce: Would eat autozone seafood boil, then get collared by Riddle for one, being stupid enough to consume food from autozone of all places, and two, stinking up the entire dorm for 3 hours straight.
Leona: Likes being scratched behind the ears when he’s feeling sad or sleepy, only Ruggie knows about this though as one time he did it just to tease him when they were younger, and REFUSES to let Leona live it down. Leona lets Ruggie scratch his ears in exchange for never telling another soul about it.
Ruggie: Once stole and drank an entire can of whip cream in one sitting and got really sick to the point he was throwing up for days. He vows to do it again someday.
Jack: Secretly loves plushies and would openly collect them if wasn’t so invested in being a “tough guy”. He has a few as gifts from his family members and he cherishes them, he even sleeps with them sometimes.
Azul: Had a itty bitty crush on Ariel when he was little, he used to read picture books of the benevolent Sea Witch just to look at the illustrations of Ariel.
Jade: Likes to debone animals for fun, whether it’s a land animal, sea animal, big, or small, he’s gonna catch it and he WILL debone it. He’s slightly ashamed of this hobby however.
Floyd: Slightly jealous of Jade because he’s seen as the “sane” twin, and even though most people avoid both of them like the plague, he can tell they feel more at ease with Jade and it makes him sad. He tries to control himself and act “normal” every once in a while, but he can’t help but to be a weirdo, he doesn’t know how to mask himself like his twin does.
Kalim: Had a pet viper that he found in his back yard one day and decided to keep because it reminded him of Jamil. He would even dress it up to look like Jamil and everything and swore it could talk, claiming it sounded just like Jamil. The snake ran away btw.
Jamil: Hates most cartoons because Kalim used to and still does force him to binge watch them with him. When they were little, Kalim used to cry if he didn’t, so now he has slight ptsd.
Vil: Accidentally gave himself a weak stomach due to his strict diet of only healthy stuff, and can barely eat a ice cream cone or a cheeseburger without getting bad stomach aches.
Rook: Was one of those people that had two costumes for halloween so they could go around the neighborhood twice and get more candy. He went as Neige first then Vil every year till he got enrolled in Night Raven.
Epel: Collects horse figures, not mlp just regular horses, He keeps them in a box where no one can find them because they’re “unmanly”. He doesn’t really play with the horses, but he does have names and personalities for them.
Idia: Likes magical girl animes, but too afraid to admit it to anyone, even online. He knows that if he does he’ll get called a gooner, he kinda is and he doesn’t need even more people thinking that about him as half of NRC already does. He genuinely likes those animes and loves all the cool weapons and transformation scenes, though he finds them a little repetitive.
Ortho: Is really into pokémon because he wanted to watch anime just like his big brother as something to bond over. Occasionally he’ll beg Idia to somehow install pokémon go into his programming, Idia always says no.
Malleus: Likes having his horns petted and wishes he could have them pet more often. The only people who would were his mother, grandmother, Silver when he was little, and Lilia. Lilia is the only one who still pets him from time to time, mostly when he’s had a bad day or falling asleep.
Lilia: Really into those mlg memes, the doritos and mountain dew shit, and will randomly yell “OOH BABY A TRIPLE” or “MOM GET THE CAMERA” to spook people. He thinks it’s hilarious.
Silver: A really good singer, but only Lilia, Malleus, and Sebek know because they caught him a few times on accident. Silver is incredibly embarrassed of it and made them swear to never tell anyone else.
Sebek: Has a secret passion for art, he’s not very good at it and most of his drawings look pretty goofy as if a first grader drew them, but he’s proud of them, Despite that, he never let anyone go near his sketchbook, especially his liege, claiming it’s just a book about how great Malleus is.
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jessmalia · 8 months ago
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If you told 12–17 year old me who was steadfastly up on her contrarian high horse against Game of Thrones that in the future she'd be blogging this obsessively about a GOT spinoff she would've murdered you
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very-super-silly · 4 days ago
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GUESS WHO JUST GOT BACK FROM WATCHING THNDERBOLTS!!!!!!!!! HOLY SHIT!!!!!! I HAVE SO MANY THOUGHTS
(spoilers ahead)
i love bob. he deserves the world. my bipolar son
yelena is such a depressed queen i love her 😭💔 shes so me core (sad)
btw everyone is depressed 🔥🔥🔥 i lowkey only get into media where everyone is depressed im not even joking is this a problem
I HATE JOHN WALKER. STILL. WHAT A FUCKING FUCK. I HATE HIM. NOT ONLY DID HE DISRESPECT MY QUEENS. BUT HE IS AN ASSHOLE!!!!!!! HIS EX WIFE TOTALLY DESERVED BETTER IT IS A GOOD THING SHE DIVORCED HIM
bucky sick entrance #3 (catfa, caatws, and now, thunderbolts) it was so fucking sick when he like fucking grabbed their wench then slammed it into the geound and fucking flipped their car????RAFGGHGN i crashed out
for a second i thought we had a winter soldier comeback it was so good (ragshfhr i wonder what bucky was telling sam abt this whole thing i js KNOW sam clowned him for the dramatic entrance)
OH SHIT WAIT THO AINT NO WAY THEYRE MAKING BEEF BETWEEN BUCKY AND SAM???? THE END CREDITS, SAM IS SUING THE THUNDERBOLTS BC THEYRE THE “new avengers” THIS BETTER BE THE CALM BEFORE THE STORM BECAUSE IF THEY BREAK UP MY BFS IM SUING MARVEL STUDIOS (theyre haters)
(more under the cut)
i really appreciated the “less action” climax if you will for the more emotionally impactful one, because holy shit. i cried so hard.
i also cried when yelena and her dad confronted each other 😭😭💔 i love them fheivndifnekdneifhejwks
and btw bucky just like?? relived all his trauma in the fucking “shame rooms” or whatever was happening when the poeple got shadowed??? thays crazy 😭
i really appreciated the dark humor ay the beginning too, really my type of movie (this is one of my all time favorite marvel movies now)
augh i mean i know this is like. the whole basis of the movie. but i really loved how they are all bad, depressed, fucked up people, but they still get to become the new avengers like <3 my heart bruh. i love them all (except john walker)
ALSO?????? NOT VALENTINA BUYING STARK TOWER IM CRASHING OUT 💥💥💥
RAGHHHH YK WHAT ELSE????? FANTASTIC FOUR FUCKING COMING TO THE MARVEL UNIVERSE WIFNUEKDNFHRUDDJD “INTER DIMENSIONAL SPACECRAFT” AAAAAAAHH YIPPEEE YIPPPEEE
btw bob and yelena <3 i love them. SO MUCH.
OH SHIT ALSO THAT PERSON WHO JUST FUCKING DIED AT THE VERY BEGINNING?? THE PERSON FROM THE RED ROOM/BLACK WIDOW??? OH MY GOD???? GHOST JUST LIKE SHOT HER. AND THAT WAS IT. SHE WAS THERE FOR LIKE. 1 SECOND? I FEEL SO BAD FOR YELENA THAT MUSTVE STUNG LIKE SHIT
btw valentinas subordinate mal was so silly i love her morally greyness (shes also fine af) i want her and kate bishop to meet, i think theyd get along great
did not live up to my sambucky expectations bc of the end credit and no sam mention 😔 but thats fine ig cus being delusional is fun or whatever (they will get back together. i am speaking it into existence.)
i love robert. bob. i love him x2
i absolutely ADOREEE how they touched on mental illness. thats what this whole movie was about. depression, bipolar/ or multiple personality disorder, and how you should connect with people, theyll help you, youre not alone, its not your fault, etc. absolutely amazing. i cried it was so. it was like so representational, relatable, just amazing and comforting. maybe mot everything was exactly right but like. i really felt the impact and message and it really felt like id been seen idk.
buckys “yeah.. this is such a worrying thing… we're getting right on it.. worrying circumstances… yeah… uhh and yeah despite the worrying situation were handling it”
bucky def going to go rouge. buddy still hates the government ❤️
BTW THEYRE THE NEW AVENGERS NOW THE WAY I GASPED I THOUGHT VALENTINA WAS JOKING OR LIKE SLANDERING THEM BUT NO. FR. HOLY SHIT. THE NEW AVENGERS. IM CRASHING OUT.
yelena crash out. well deserved. “no, its not your turn walker, because you know youre a piece of shit, and tour family knows it too!” EAT HIM UP also “EAT SHIT VALENTINA” icon ily yelena
walker almost pulling his gun on val and bucky cautioning him was so impactful like. not again walker.
BUCKY ON A MOTORCYCLE BTW!!!!!
john said “on your left” ☹️
bucky seemed really distraught btw, at the end credits, when sam was being portrayed as a “bad guy” (i will excuse everything sam wilson has ever done “wrong”. except he has never done anything wrong. ever. my boy) and yeah hehe maybe this is just some sambucky angst
we saw more of the red room too ☹️💔 like damn
ALSO IT LOOKS LIKE THE NEW AVENGERS ARE INHABITING THE STARK TOWER. HOLY SHIT
”you said you wanted to be goalie so that you could be the person everyone could rely on if they messed up” yelena
”i just look at my phone, thinking about everything that makes me a bad person, go to work, drink alcohol, come home and then sit on my phone and think more about how im a bad person.” yelena being relatable fr
also bob not remembering anything thay happened in the dreamscape place?? i hope he remembered. i think he did
”we're going to stick together from now on” yelena and bob <3
ALSO LMAO WHEN HE WAS DANCING IN A CHICKEN COSTUME HITTING PEOPLE WITH THE SIGN 😭😭 “i was on meth” BOB NO
red guardian being silly he really does try to be a good father snd like a supportive person
bucky and alexi going to beat valentinas ass was so funny but they got played fr 😔🙏
sighhh i think these are all my notes for now. i fucking love this movie!!!!!!!!!! so much!!!!!!!! argh!!!!!!!!!!!
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alais-bladesoflight · 4 months ago
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I dont care people's hate towards Aerin. I love Aerin and since childhood all people literally abused him. Even Mal had his sister and mom (for a while) ... He met Shadow Court at very young age like he was an abused lonely kid with weakest mind. It was easier to give in shadow. When he met Mc it was already too late. He didnt know them for a long time or something. It is painful to see his scenes. Thats why my Mc romancing him and give him love. It would be different for him...
Btw before people commenting sh*t Nia has every right to not forgive him and she suffered bec of this. I'll never ever think Nia being close to be whiny or sh*t.
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duncan-rohanne · 4 months ago
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alright, i've been back for like 2 hours, i'm ready to make some enemies....
i was choosing peace, scrolling through the nosferatu and thomas hutter tags and lo and behold, the "he loves her but he doesn't understand her," discourse is back and let me tell you:
it's not new, ok. you didn't just discover anything groundbreaking.
if there is a "love triangle" between a heroine, her golden retriever boyfriend/husband and a villain, it always ends up here.
from darklina(/mal), reylo (/finn), delena (/stefan), phantom/christine (/raoul), dramione (/ron), spike/buffy (/angel), addie/luc (/henry) and of course dracula/mina (/jonathan) and i could keep going but you get my point.
listen, listen, i get it, we all get it, you have english literature degree, you like gothic horror and you think enemies to lovers is the coolest concept since death and the maiden.
i don't have anything against those ships (i mean, i do, the fandoms are worst), people like their villains, i love my villains, villains are awesome, they are fun way to explore the darker side of things and a great way for the heroine to find her own voice and power, great, especially when we make it sexy, however...
have you maybe considered, that them having a guy by their side, that tells them that murder, abuse, world domination and death aren't great, is maybe a good thing? like, yeah, maybe he doesn't get it but he is doing his best to understand and still cares for her and tries to protect her.
yeah, dark is sexy, even when it's a rotting corpse, i agree, but maybe the character trying to pull away from it and not grasping it, is not inherently pathetic and not deserving to be a love interest.
(btw, i'm aware this is a layered topic and there is nuance here, even with the ships i listed but the phase "he doesn't understand her" is really something that gets on my nerves for years, a decade at this point, i can literally go back to my teen wolf days.)
tldr: create a new line when hating the golden retriever boyfriend. thank you.
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m-7905 · 3 months ago
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I gave in (saw hot badass women on my dash and comments on the new tatort dresden) and watched the new tatort dresden... and the first Leo und Karin episode, and the second... 4.5 h well spent i think ahaha
So here are my general thoughts
- Schnabel is fucking insufferable like Idk if he's actually this insufferable or if I just hate old white men
- der alte winkler ist ja mal mega unsympathetisch und scheint n arsch zu sein
- Karin is a badass but therapy könnte durchaus hilfreich sein
-Leo's eyes are mesmerising and she's gorgeous I did smell the mild daddy issues von dem ersten Gespräch in dem creepy ass Haus an tho
Wie Leo Karin von Anfang an anstarrt tho... und dieser long ass arm grab in der asservatenkammer beim ersten Gespräch nachdem karin wieder da ist...
Naja general thoughts reichen nicht also meinungen zu den einzelnen:
Herz der Dunkelheit, ich verstehe warum alle so mad über den exit sind, wdym sie spricht das nur auf ne mailbox... die teenagers auch ganz wild und auf jeden Fall auch interessante queer rep like okay cute but wdym die haben/hatten da fast alle was miteinander... naja i did not care about the Paul dude at all he was annoying...
Das Nest war auch echt creepy ngl ich war noch nie so creeped out bei nem Tatort wie bei der opening sequence... und dann die ganze angst danach? Solid tatort would recommend
Nemesis boah die armen Kinder Jesus diese Mutter braucht definitiv mehr als nur ein paar therapieblstunden... Leo die anfängt ihren Ach so tollen Vater zu hinterfragen und seinen anruf am ende nicht annimmt gave me a lot
Und da ich seit ich angefangen habe das zu schreiben auch noch den dritten angefangen und beendet habe
Die Zeit ist gekommen once again die armen kids ey... naja aber Leo und Karin sind ja mal n wirklich gutes team geworden. Der Typ ist ja mal wirklich irrational and his wife auch aber Anna sieht wenigstens gut aus dabei (she has a very cute face and hairstyle) intresting case auf jeden Fall...
Well ich hab jetzt auf jeden Fall ein viertes Tatort Team gefunden das ich neben Saarbrücken, Münster und Weimar mag (ich trauer btw immernoch weimar nach bc well Nora tschirner)
6 stunden am Stück Tatort Dresden zu gucken stand definitiv nicht auf meiner Bingokarte but here we are at 3.45 am on February 6th...
Goodnight goodnight I will sleep tight now...
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descenderintofantasy · 4 months ago
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another reason glassheart won't happen: As much as I love Red, do the shippers realize she’s the reason Chloe's mom was going to be beheaded? This isn't some mistake like Mal closing the barrier because she was scared(which she gets a lot of hate for in the fandom) this is someone's LIFE. I don't mean to call out the shippers, I’ve had my fair share of enemies to lovers shipping so ship and let ship but just something that randomly popped into my head...
Happy new year btw! -tb
....Your ABSOLUTELY RIGHT! *I* didn't even think of that until you said it. But as you say, are shippers expecting Chloe to just NOT CARE that Red was part of the reason that her mother DIED?
I mean yes they might argue that becuse they erased the timeline. It never happened, and it wasn't really Red's fault/she didn't really want it to happen.
But still, that is a BIG thing to forgive, especially to the person you're going to develop romantic feelings for. It would literally hang over their relationship. One day, that fact WOULD get brought up in a fight. Chloe will never be able to truly forget/forgive Red for it.
Even with 'enemies to lovers' thinking Glassheart would just NOT WORK. They would break up eventually if they did date. Becuse the fact that Red was partly responsible for her partner's mother's death, would always be under the surface.
Happy new year, and thanks for the ask! :D
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sophiuhhsthots · 2 days ago
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LOVE NOTE : three states away
WORD COUNT : 6027
────────── ୨ৎ ──────────
dean’s phone lights up. it’s mal, it’s always mal. she’s home at bobby’s, while he and sam are in nebraska for something with their dad. she decided not to go, obviously, being that she hates john winchester more than anyone else on the planet.
dean squints at the screen, bleary-eyed and half-drunk from whatever bottom-shelf crap he and sam split in the motel room earlier. sam’s already passed out on the other bed, one arm flung dramatically over his face like he’s in a damn tragedy. the TV’s still on, flickering blue over everything, and the light from his phone cuts through it all like it knows who it’s from.
[1:49AM — my girl]
  hey  
need bicep pics or i’ll die
he huffs a laugh under his breath, swipes a hand over his mouth. he can hear her in the texts — hear it like her voice is curling around the syllables, syrup-slow and full of that particular bratty demand she’s perfected since they were seventeen.
he types back, thumbs heavy, lazy.
[1:50AM — chew toy]
  that a medical emergency?
  gonna need a formal diagnosis, babe
but he’s already rolling out of bed, standing in the motel’s yellow bathroom light, angling his phone with the expertise of a man who’s done this before. he flexes, bicep taut, teeth sinking into his bottom lip in a way he knows drives her insane.
click.
another from the front.
another with his shirt pushed up, hint of abs, just to be cruel.
he sends all three without a caption. lets the silence linger.
and then, just to twist the knife:
[1:53AM — chew toy]
  you miss me or just the arms?
  be honest
he knows she’ll lie. she always does. and he’ll love every damn word of it.
[1:53 AM - my girl]
awooga
just licked my phone btw
she knows he’s smirking proudly right now. so, she decides to humble him a bit.
[1:54 AM - my girl]
mostly ur arms but ig you’re not so bad.
dean’s grin kicks in before he even finishes reading — one of those low, private, deeply entertained ones that makes his shoulders drop and his stomach twist. he leans against the chipped sink like it’s holding him up, phone warm in his hand, heart warmer.
[1:55 AM — chew toy]
  “mostly my arms” huh
  real sweet talker you are
  you try that hard with everyone or am i just lucky
he doesn’t wait for her to respond before tossing in another — his favorite kind of bait:
[1:56 AM — chew toy]
  bet if i was there you’d be bitin ‘em
  all whiny and pretty and sayin you don’t miss me
  with my hand down your shorts
he stares at it for a beat, considering, then shrugs and hits send. the motel hums quietly around him, and sam snores like a dying tractor.
[1:56 AM — chew toy]
{attachment : 1 image}
he sends another picture — his hand curled lazily around the back of his neck, bicep flexed, a smirk barely tugging at the corner of his mouth. no caption this time.
[1:57 AM - my girl]
holy fucken shit ur gorg. it’s criminal.
she crawls into his bed, clicking off the bedside lamp.
[1:58 AM - my girl]
i hate you but you’re so damn right i would
also i’m sleeping in ur bed btw
was too lazy to put my sheets on after i washed them
might leave you a lil somethin’
and yes you are lucky it’s because of the gun show that’s the only reason i like you
dean’s hand rakes through his hair, that slow, stunned kind of movement that says goddamn, like she’s under his skin even from three states away. he reads her messages over and over — especially the last one — until his lip’s caught between his teeth and he’s fighting off a groan that would definitely wake sam.
[2:01 AM — chew toy]
  what kinda somethin
  you talkin like… a rock?
  or more like somethin that smells like you and makes me hard?
he paces the motel bathroom, running too hot now, thumbs hovering, not quite done.
[2:02 AM — chew toy]
  cuz if it’s the second one
  i’m gonna start drivin right now
  nebraska to south dakota, no stops, no mercy
he pauses again. then, because he knows her:
[2:03 AM — chew toy]
  also
  don’t get drool on my pillow
  you sleep like a corpse but worse
a really fuckjn hot corpse but still
he pictures her there, curled in his sheets, probably naked just to spite him. smug and bratty and buried in his scent like it’s a comfort she won’t admit to.
[2:04 AM — my girl]
you bitch
also *fuckin
and i do not drool.
i sleep like an angel thank you very much
dean practically chokes on a laugh, biting his knuckle to keep quiet, eyes glinting with the kind of amusement that only she ever drags out of him at two am motel bathrooms, surrounded by mildew and bad decisions. he sinks to the toilet lid, elbows on knees, phone lighting up his face like a ghost.
[2:06 AM — chew toy]
  an angel huh
  funny, cuz i’ve heard the noises you make in your sleep
  like a lil gremlin tryin to possess my mattress
he’s smiling wide now, loose and boyish, totally gone for her in the way that makes him reckless.
[2:07 AM — chew toy]
  but yeah sure
  a real angel
  especially when you’re stealin all the covers and trapping me like a goddamn bear trap
he tacks on a picture — him in bed now, one arm thrown behind his head, sheets low on his hips, still shirtless, that same cocky tilt to his smirk like he knows she’s clutching her phone with fire in her veins.
[2:08 AM — chew toy]
  goodnight, brat
  sweet dreams in my bed
[2:09 — my girl]
nooo don’t go to bed it’s so early you geriatric freak
stay up
i wanna flirt with you
dean’s head tips back with a groan, grinning like he’s been sucker punched by cupid himself and he likes the bruises. phone clutched to his chest for a second like she might hear the laugh that bubbles up in him — low, hoarse, warm as summer asphalt under his ribs.
[2:10 AM — chew toy]
  geriatric freak???
  i’m twenty-one you toddler
  but go on i guess
  flirt away
  i’m all ears n biceps
{attachment : 1 image}
he shifts in bed, the mattress creaking beneath him, and takes another photo — this time it’s blurry on purpose, just his hand tugging the waistband of his boxers low enough to make her ache.
[2:11 AM — chew toy]
  c’mon, angel
  say something filthy
  make the old man blush
[2:13 AM — my girl]
holy gilf
gAWDAMN
{attachment : 1 image}
dean freezes the second that little attachment bubble pops up — thumb hovering, heart pounding like he just got shot at. because he knows her. and if she sent a photo after calling him a gilf, it’s not of her face.
he opens it, and groans. out loud. no warning.
it’s her. in his shirt, all soft and rumpled and riding high on her thighs, legs bare, one of them bent just enough to show the curve of something sinful. her hair’s a mess and her lips are pink and her eyes — god, her eyes — half-lidded and smug and sweet all at once. like she knows exactly what she’s doing to him and lives for it.
[2:15 AM — chew toy]
  you’re trying to kill me
  and honestly
  not a bad way to go
he stares at the photo again, thumb brushing the screen. he wants to bite her. wants her in his lap, on his tongue, clawing at his shoulders and laughing into his mouth.
[2:16 AM — chew toy]
  i’d wreck you right now if i could
  you wouldn’t sleep for a week
  all because you called me a gilf
  you deserve it
[2:17 AM — my girl]
don’t hate me it turns me on
she smirks in his dark bedroom, her mind never ceasing on ideas of just how to torment him.
[2:19 AM — my girl]
whoops there go my panties
gosh darn things just flew right off
dean’s got a fist in his own hair now, eyes half-lidded, pupils blown, sitting in a dim motel room like he’s been hexed. and maybe he has. maybe her voice lives in his bloodstream now, tangled with the way she laughs, the way she teases, the way she ruins him with nothing but a few shitty texts and a photo he’s gonna be thinking about for years.
he drags his teeth across his bottom lip and types:
[2:20 AM — chew toy]
  panties didn’t stand a chance
  poor little things
  bet they were cute too
  lace? cotton? little bow on the front?
  doesn’t matter
  i’d have em in my pocket right now. or maybe wrapped around my dick
he pauses. closes his eyes. inhales slow.
[2:21 AM — chew toy]
  you really want me to lose my mind tonight, huh
  say the word and i’ll fuck my hand stupid thinking about that picture
  bout how warm you’d be under me
  bout how you’d cry for it
[2:22 AM — my girl]
the word
he exhales hard, like she just punched the air right out of him — palms sweaty, throat dry, cock already aching where it presses against the waistband of his boxers. god, she’s evil. nineteen and bratty and sinful and his.
he doesn’t even reply, not with words. not at first.
instead, he finds the voice memo button and hits record. voice low, half-wrecked already:
[2:24 AM — chew toy]
{attachment : voice memo — 0:43}
“you want this, baby? yeah, you do. all that attitude, all that mouth — bet it’d get real soft if i was there, huh? you’d be breathin my name so sweet, so filthy, pullin at my arms like they’re the only thing keepin you grounded. i’d have you cryin in that damn bed you’re stealin from me. you’d be beggin, i know you would. wouldn’t stop ‘til i gave it to you.”
he ends it with a breath — sharp, unsteady.
[2:24 AM — chew toy]
  go on then
  ruin me right back
[2:25 — my girl]
{attachment : 3 images}
[incoming call — my girl]
accept?
he accepts with a swipe, fingers trembling just slightly, phone pressed to his ear like it’s a lifeline. there’s a beat of silence — thick, charged, the kind that prickles up the back of his neck — and then she’s there, her voice all honeyed static and bedroom hush.
“hi,” she says, soft and smug, and it’s the sexiest fucking thing he’s ever heard.
he sinks further into the motel mattress, free hand gripping the sheets like she’s underneath him already. “jesus christ, mal.”
she giggles. giggles. like she hasn’t been wrecking him from three states away with nothing but texts and one wicked photo. “you sound a little outta breath, old man.”
“you send that and expect me to be fine?” he rasps. “you’ve got a mean streak.”
“i’m sweet,” she purrs. “you said so yourself. your lil angel.”
“you’re a demon in thigh-high socks.”
“wrong. your demon in thigh-high socks.”
his groan is immediate, wrecked and low and involuntary. he lets the phone fall to his chest for a second, like he can’t breathe with her voice so close, then brings it back. “you touchin’ yourself, sweetheart?”
a pause. breath hitching through the speaker. “…yeah.”
he could die. right now. happy, hard, haunted.
“yeah?” he murmurs, palm dragging down over his stomach. “how’s it feel?”
“not the same,” she whispers. “miss your hands. your mouth. it pisses me off that you’re better than me at it. and your fuckin’ voice — jesus, dean, you sound like sex.”
“you’re the one makin’ me sound like this,” he breathes. “you sittin there in my shirt, in my bed, touchin that sweet pussy and callin me names.”
she moans, sharp and desperate, and it goes straight to his spine.
“say it again,” she pants.
“say what?”
“that it’s yours. that i’m yours.”
he groans again, hand gripping his cock now, slow and firm. “you’re mine. mine, mal. fuckin’ branded.” his breath stutters, lips parted against the speaker. “nobody else gets you like this. nobody else gets this mouth.”
“dean—”
“say my name again,” he growls.
“dean,” she gasps.
he’s close, too close, the sound of her falling apart spilling over the line like gasoline on fire. his name in her voice is a fucking prayer, a confession.
“i’m gonna come thinkin about you,” he chokes. “bout those pictures. bout you leavin me somethin sweet on my sheets.”
“do it,” she cries. “do it for me, baby—please—”
he does. with her name in his mouth and her voice in his ears and a photo burned into his memory that he’ll never recover from.
they both go quiet. not awkward. not tense. just quiet, breathless, like the storm just passed and left them in the stillness of something sacred.
after a beat, she hums, satisfied and sleepy. “you still there?”
“barely,” he mumbles, boneless and blissed out.
she laughs, and it’s soft this time. tender.
“told you i’d leave you somethin’.”
“gonna frame that photo,” he says. “put it over my grave.”
“you’re so dramatic.”
“you’re so hot.”
they lie there, hundreds of miles apart, hearts beating like they’re in the same bed.
“love you,” she murmurs. unprompted. small and sure.
his breath catches.
“love you,” he echoes. “always.”
and she falls asleep to the sound of his breathing, steady on the line.
he stays up a bit longer, just thinking of her — naked, snuggled in his bed, that post-orgasmic glow she always seems to don.
the motel room hums in that way only cheap places do — air conditioner buzzing, fridge kicking on with a rattle, the static hush of late-night television still playing to no one. sam mutters in his sleep, rolls over, but dean doesn’t notice. not really. not when his mind’s a thousand miles away, soft-focused on the picture she painted with nothing but her voice and a sin-slick smile.
he can see it like it’s projected on the back of his eyelids — her, tangled in his sheets, all bare limbs and flushed cheeks and that sweet, smug little grin that only shows up after she’s come apart for him. her hair a mess on his pillow, skin still dewy with heat, chest rising slow beneath the fabric of his shirt. his shirt. she always steals it like it’s owed to her, like she belongs in it more than he ever did.
he presses his phone to his chest, feels the thrum of her still there — like she never stopped talking, like her voice is stitched into the lining of his ribs. he swears he can smell her, that warm mix of perfume and sweat and something that’s just her, something wild and unmistakable. makes his throat tight. makes his hands twitch, like they’re reaching for the slope of her hip in the dark.
he’d give anything to be in that bed with her now. to press his lips to her bare shoulder, pull her close, bury himself in the silence that only she makes feel like home. he aches with it. not just the want, not just the heat — but the closeness. the herness of her. loud and soft and maddening in equal measure.
he sighs. rubs a hand over his face. doesn’t even bother to hide the smile that creeps in — slow, private, helpless.
“brat,” he mutters, under his breath, fond as hell.
then he turns off the light and lets the darkness take him, her name the last thing curled against his tongue.
dean’s eyes crack open slow, groggy and thick-lidded, one arm flung over his face like a mirror of how sam looked hours ago. his phone buzzes against his chest where it must’ve slipped down sometime in the night, screen lighting up with her name, and god — just like that, he’s wide awake.
he blinks once. twice. lets the message soak in.
[9:27 AM — my girl]
  shit sorry didn’t hang up i swear my phone died
he huffs a laugh, throat dry and voice rough with sleep. phone still warm from being held all night, like it remembers her too. he reads the text again, already grinning, already imagining the mess she probably is — bare legs kicked over his sheets, panic-typing with those frantic thumbs of hers like she just woke up and realized she’d accidentally left a window open into her soul.
he types back, quick and teasing, still smiling like an idiot in yesterday’s boxers:
[9:29 AM — chew toy]
  uh huh
  so what you’re tellin me is i got to fall asleep to the sound of your breathing
  like some lovesick teen in a coming-of-age movie
he rubs at his eyes with the heel of his hand, biting back the flutter in his chest that her name always kicks up. then, after a second,
[9:30 AM — chew toy]
  also
  you snored
  like, a lot
  like a lil gremlin trapped in my phone
she doesn’t snore, but he never stops teasing her about it. he hits send with a quiet snort and waits, already knowing she’ll have something ridiculous to say. already loving her more than he knows what to do with.
[9:31 AM — my girl]
tsk tsk
all you do is lie
and liars don’t deserve this but you get it anyway because i’m feeling charitable
{attachment : 1 image}
it’s her, cuddled in his sheets, the black comforter pulled up right under her chin. mr. bunny in hand, a sleepy little smile playing on her lips, and little wrinkles on her cheek from where she laid in one place for too long.
he stares.
like, really stares — everything in him going still and reverent, like she just sent him a damn masterpiece. his girl, curled up in his bed, wrapped in his sheets, clutching that stupid little bunny she’s had since she was a kid, and somehow she’s still the sexiest thing he’s ever seen. that tiny, smug, sleepy smile wrecks him. the sheet-pressed wrinkles on her cheek make his heart seize up in his chest.
he exhales slow. presses his knuckles to his mouth. god, he’s so fucking gone for her.
[9:34 AM — chew toy]
  oh my god
  you’re not even real
he swipes a hand down his face, groaning out loud.
[9:35 AM — chew toy]
  look at you
  all smug and cozy and domestic
  how the hell am i supposed to fight monsters and be normal after this huh
  you’re out here makin me wanna build a damn picket fence
he pauses, then tacks on:
[9:36 AM — chew toy]
  mr. bunny made it into the pic too??
  unbelievable
  no one’s ever looked that cute and been that evil at the same time
and just because he can’t help himself, just because she’s got his heart squeezed in her little fist:
[9:37 AM — chew toy]
  love you, you know
  even when you steal my bed and send me photos that make me ache in places i didn’t know had nerve endings
he doesn’t send a picture back. not yet. he just stares at hers for another full minute, grinning like a dumbass, feeling warm and ruined and home.
[9:38 AM — my girl]
mommy n baby miss you daddy <3
his head drops back against the crappy motel pillows with a groan so full-bodied it rattles out of his soul. this fucking girl.
he fists the sheet near his hip, laughter bubbling low in his chest, somewhere between unhinged and head-over-heels. she’s insane. she’s insane. and he loves her more than anything on god’s green, godforsaken earth.
[9:39 AM — chew toy]
  oh fuck no
  i just got a cavity from that text
  you tryna give me heart palpitations AND a boner before breakfast?
   also fuck, that’s so not fair
he lifts his phone, snaps a selfie — messy hair, pillow crease on his cheek, lashes still heavy from sleep. the kind of photo he wouldn’t send anyone else. the kind of photo that says i’m yours, even when i look like this.
[9:40 AM — chew toy]
  daddy misses you too
  he’s hard already
  needs his girl
  you’re lucky i’m not there
  i’d have you moanin ‘daddy’ like it’s your full time job
  make you say it until your voice goes hoarse and your legs won’t close
a beat. then, because he can’t resist:
[9:41 AM — chew toy]
  kiss mommy for me
  tell her daddy’s on his way home soon
and he’s bringing a belt
he tosses the phone onto the mattress beside him and scrubs his hands down his face, caught somewhere between laughter and a full-blown meltdown.
then he lets out the softest fucking sound — somewhere between a chuckle and a sigh, all affection, no defense. mommy n baby. she’s insane. she’s his. and god, if he doesn’t miss her so bad it feels like a bruise under his ribs.
he collapses back onto the motel bed, one arm flung across his eyes, phone held to his chest like it’s the only thing tethering him to her.
[9:43 AM — my girl]
dean winchester do not say such things in front of such impressionable young rabbits
dean practically howls, pressing his fist to his mouth to muffle the sound so he doesn’t wake sam, who’s still dead to the world across the room like a goddamn log.
he grabs the phone again, eyes watering from how hard he’s laughing, that warm ache spreading through his chest like sunlight spilling under a door.
[9:43 AM — chew toy]
  mr. bunny’s been through worse
  you think he didn’t see the way you rode me the other day?
  poor bastard was a foot away from the action
  traumatized. spiritually ruined.
  he deserves hazard pay
[9:44 AM — my girl]
being cucked by a stuffed bunny is wild in retrospect
he can’t stop grinning, thumbs still flying. this is how it always is — fire and filth and affection all tangled up in each other, impossible to separate.
[9:44 AM — chew toy]
  i’ll make it up to him
  bring him a tiny whiskey bottle or somethin
  some bunnycigarettes
  a lil therapy
[9:45 AM — my girl]
he says to just bring your ass back here yesterday because he wants siblings
dean chokes — literally chokes — on absolutely nothing, just air and implication and the sheer nerve of her. he drops his phone on his chest, staring at the ceiling like it might offer divine intervention or maybe just a moment of composure. it doesn’t. not when his entire body is tensing with laughter and something warmer, deeper, heavier that curls in his gut like a promise.
he picks the phone back up, still grinning like the absolute menace she’s made him into.
[9:46 AM — chew toy]
  mr. bunny is not allowed to talk like that
  he’s supposed to be an innocent bystander
  not my fluffy little pimp
mal snorts, rolling her eyes at his humor.
[9:47 AM — chew toy]
  …also what kinda siblings we talkin here?
  like, soft, stuffed cotton ones
  or the kind that take 9 months
his smirk turns lazy, dangerous, all teeth and heat and affection he’d never admit out loud.
[9:48 AM — chew toy]
  ’cause if it’s the second kind
  might wanna warn the neighbors
  gonna get real loud around here when daddy gets home
[9:49 AM — my girl]
you gonna cuff me for the noise complaint, officer?
dean makes a sound halfway between a groan and a laugh, because goddamn. she’s too quick with it — sweet little menace wrapped in sleepy sheets and filth, and he loves her for it. he drags a hand down his face, already picturing it: her in cuffs, that grin, that look she gets when she’s just begging to be ruined.
[9:50 AM — chew toy]
  ma’am, i’m afraid you are the noise complaint
  and yeah, i am gonna cuff you
  strictly for the safety of the public
  and also to see how long you can beg before i give you anything at all
  gonna toss my badge on the nightstand
  read you your rights with my hand down your panties
  like “ma’am, you have the right to get railed”
he pauses, breathing out a laugh, fingers dancing over the screen.
[9:52 AM — chew toy]
  no trial. no bail.
  life sentence in my lap.
she snickers, rolling onto her front as she types.
[9:53 AM — my girl]
my my. whatever shall i do? what a shame this is.
is there anything i can do, officer?? *bats lashes*
dean stares at the screen, one eyebrow cocked, lip curling slow like a wolf with blood in his teeth. he can see it — her on her stomach, kicking her feet behind her, batting those lashes like she’s not the devil in disguise. she knows what she’s doing. and he’s already a goner.
[9:54 AM — chew toy]
  hmm. well, that depends, miss
  you willing to cooperate with the investigation?
  might go easy on you if you confess to being the sexiest damn girl alive
  though i gotta warn you
  the punishment for that is pretty severe
  might have to handcuff you to the headboard
  run a full… thorough body search
he leans back against the headboard, grinning like a sinner in church.
[9:56 AM — chew toy]
  and if you ask real nice
  maybe i’ll let you kiss my badge before i ruin you
[9:57 AM — my girl]
it’s a good thing i’m a law-abiding citizen, sir.
i just can’t go to jail! i look terrible in orange :(
dean huffs a laugh, low and throaty, thumb already flying across the screen. she’s so damn good at this — playing it up all sweet and fake-innocent, knowing full well she’s the one with the devil on her shoulder and him wrapped around her pinky finger.
[9:58 AM — chew toy]
  oh sweetheart
  you think you’re not already in trouble?
  orange might not be your color
  but i bet you’d look real cute in cuffs and nothing else
  you keep talkin like that and i will show up at bobby’s
  badge, cuffs, the whole damn uniform
  gonna kick down your door and say i got a warrant for your arrest
  on multiple counts of bein too fuckin pretty
he’s smirking now, biting his bottom lip, imagining the look on her face — those wide, faux-innocent eyes, the gasp, the pout.
[10:00 AM — chew toy]
  and the sentence, miss?
  you, me, and 40 years of hard fucking labor
[10:01 AM — my girl]
only forty?
he groans under his breath, tossing his head back against the motel headboard with a grin that’s equal parts reverent and wrecked. god, she kills him. every damn time.
[10:02 AM — chew toy]
  sweetheart
  i was tryin to be generous
  but if you’re askin for life without parole…
he pauses. thumbs still. smile curling slow and devilish.
[10:03 AM — chew toy]
  guess i’ll just have to make sure you never walk straight again
  start servin your sentence tonight
  i’m comin to get you.
  gonna cuff you to the headboard and read you your rights
  real slow. real thorough.
  right to remain gagged
  anything you moan can and will be used against you in the bedroom of law
[10:05 AM — my girl]
bring bunny some earplugs
[10:06 AM — chew toy]
  he’s gettin a tiny lil blindfold too.
  poor guy doesn’t need to see what daddy’s about to do to mommy.
her fingers twitch around the phone, teeth digging into her bottom lip like she might bite down hard enough to draw blood. cheeks flushed, legs tangled in the sheets, she kicks them once out of sheer, girlish delight.
[10:07 AM — my girl]
  you’re gonna scar him for life
  he’s just a baby
  but i guess it is a good lesson in what happens
  when you misbehave
she tosses the phone aside for a moment, flopping onto her back, grinning so hard it hurts her jaw. when she grabs it again, she’s already laughing.
[10:09 AM — my girl]
  think you’re man enough to handle me and bunny at the same time, officer winchester?
[10:10 AM — chew toy]
don’t fear, ma’am, i was trained for this.
she lets out a delighted gasp, dramatic as ever, clutching the phone like it might run away from her. she reads it once, then again, then a third time, giggling into her pillow like a teenager with a summer crush and a secret too big to carry.
[10:11 AM — my girl]
  a real hero…
  putting in the work to protect and serve
sucking you off is included in community service right?
  that’s the law, i read it in one of sam’s stanford books
  hope you got the cuffs polished, officer.
[10:13 AM — chew toy]
of course, ma’am. my fuzziest handcuffs, just for you
her toes curl. the smirk on her face turns smug, satisfied, kittenish. she stretches out across his bed like a cat in a sunbeam, the phone cradled in one hand, the other tangled lazily in her hair.
[10:14 AM — my girl]
  fuzzy? mm. such a gentleman.
but she prefer when you hold her down yourself
  til she’s all sweet and sorry and saying please
{attachment : 1 image}
she grins wickedly and snaps another picture — a close-up this time, of her mouth parted just slightly, a little trail of her fingertip pressed to her bottom lip. the caption: “you gonna teach me a lesson, officer?”
[10:16 AM — chew toy]
fuck you’re so mean. makin me hard at ten in the fucken morning. sam’s five feet away, baby
her laughter is silent and devious, muffled into the pillow she half-buries her face in. she knows exactly what she’s doing, knows he’s squirming in his seat or pacing the motel room like a caged animal, knows sam’s somewhere nearby probably side-eyeing him without a clue.
[10:17 AM — my girl]
  poor baby. all stiff n twitchy and nowhere to go.
  maybe if you’re good i’ll send you a video.
  real quiet. real slow.
  you can sneak off to the bathroom like a little perv and think about how you left me all alone.
[10:19 AM — chew toy]
don’t bully me i’ll cum :(
she snorts, kicks her feet up like she’s sixteen again, wicked grin twisting her mouth as she clutches mr. bunny in her arm, all venomous and saccharine.
[10:20 AM — my girl]
  you’re so fragile.
baby’s gonna make a mess in his jeans before breakfast?
  should i tell you’re a good boy?
  rub your back?
  tell you what a strong man you are for not nutting the second i texted you?
[10:22 AM — chew toy]
fuck you
his phone vibrates in his hand and he groans — sharp, low, bitten off at the end like it physically hurts. he’s already slouched deeper into the passenger seat, legs spread and jacket bunched around his hips, like somehow that’ll hide the way he’s squirming.
sam doesn’t look up, just mutters, “you good?”
“yeah,” dean grits out. “great. awesome.”
he opens the message.
mal snickers, sinking her teeth into her bottom lip and slipping a hand under the covers.
[10:24 AM — my girl]
yes sir. wanna see?
he reads it and immediately chokes on his coffee — actually coughs, loud enough for sam to glance over with suspicion in his eyes. dean waves him off, muttering some bullshit about “wrong pipe” as he fumbles for his phone under the table, pupils already blown wide, mouth slack.
[10:24 AM — chew toy]
  you’re fucken evil
  yes
  show me what i’m missing, baby
  show daddy what’s got his girl squirming in his sheets
  bet you’re already wet just thinking about me
  cmon. be good. lemme see
[10:26 AM — my girl]
dripping.
{attachment : 1 image}
she chuckles softly, her fingers coming back glistening, arousal stringing between the tips of her lithe middle and ring fingers. she snaps the photo, sending it off.
[10:27 AM — chew toy]
  fuck
  god, baby, you know exactly what i need to see
  you’re killin’ me
he takes a shaky breath, trying not to get too caught up in the heat of it, but it’s impossible. the image she sent has him on edge, barely able to focus on anything other than the burn in his gut. sam’s talking about some random thing, but dean’s too far gone to care, his thumb hovering over his phone, mind only on her.
[10:28 AM — chew toy]
  if you keep this up, i swear to god, i’m gonna lose my shit.
  fuck
i need to touch you so bad
[10:29 AM — my girl]
already on it, drive safe xo
[10:30 AM — chew toy]
  goddamn, i love you.
  i’ll be there as fast as i can.
[10:31 AM — my girl]
love you more xx
the words are barely out before he’s already pushing everything aside — his mind, his focus, all of it narrowing on the single thought of getting home to her. the road ahead might be long, but his impatience burns brighter than the headlights. he knows exactly what he’s coming back for.
he doesn’t even get one foot over the threshold before she’s on him.
the door swings open fast and wide, and then she’s there in a flurry of motion and bare legs, oversized tee riding up just enough to make him forget how to breathe. no warning. no hello. just the soft thud of her feet and then she’s airborne, flinging herself into his arms like she’d die if she didn’t.
and he’s ready — always ready when it comes to her. catches her with one arm like it’s muscle memory, like his body knew before his brain did. his bag slips off his shoulder and hits the floor with a heavy thunk but he barely hears it. all he hears is the way she giggles as her legs wrap around his waist, her arms latching around his neck.
and then she’s kissing him — attacking him with kisses, really. quick and messy and everywhere. cheeks, jaw, the corner of his mouth, nose, eyelids. she’s giggling breathlessly against his skin, whispering something like “mine, mine, mine” between kisses, and he’s just standing there with one arm hooked under her thighs and the other cupping the back of her head, dazed and so fucking in love he doesn’t know what to do with himself.
“hi,” she murmurs eventually, grinning against his lips, eyes gleaming like sunlight on bourbon.
he huffs out a laugh. “jesus, sweetheart—can i breathe first?”
“nope,” she says, and kisses him again, like she’s trying to make up for every second he was gone.
and he lets her. of course he does.
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