#they get angry of course

[zerosocialskillz]

Y’know all of this made me think of a version of Inanimate Insanity but it’s actually a killing game like Danganronpa instead of a reality show

Like if MePhone4 watched Danganronpa and tried to host one himself and shit. Complete with pretending to be a despair-loving freak and all of that jazz

[lizbethborden]

There really is no female Jeremy Allen White. He is an objectively weird looking man who is now considered a heartthrob and is playing Springsteen in a new biopic--that's a romantic hero role if ever there was one. I'm not saying that's bad or wrong but I am saying no woman who naturally looks as wonky as he does would have success like him. Like he is actually UGLIER than young Bruce was.

They UGLIFIED Bruce Springsteen by casting him.

Meanwhile, women in human reality like Ruth Bader Ginsburg and Gilda Radner, who HAD strong, distinct features like his, are being played by these people in fictionalized versions of their lives:

The fact that this is how history is choosing to remember these women is insane and bizarre. Truly, you cannot exist as a woman in public eye or public memory unless you are ornamental. Worse than ornamental, you must be generically ornamental, made on an assembly line, as female beauty often is now via plastic surgery.

I feel that this kind of commentary is not being made because it's politically suspect to talk about women's looks--and don't get me wrong, I understand what's at stake in terms of not just human emotion, but falling into misogynist traps. But we MUST recognize that this is a problem. It's one thing for fictional women with no basis in reality to be cookie cutter--not a good thing, but certainly a different thing. But for real women who actually existed to have their simple, natural, human characteristics erased and replaced with flavor of the month plastic surgeried generic Hollywood Female nonsense is disrespectful in the extreme. (Especially because Gilda Radner and RBG were Jewish and their Jewish features would have deeply impacted their lives.)

[somerandomcockroach]

[inkskinned]

it mattered because when my brother asked me what if this is the happiest you'll ever be? the best you'll ever get? the thing i felt was fear, not peace. everybody thought you were so perfect for me. even i thought you were "helping me grow". i had to challenge every internal clock. make myself more thoughtful, more kind, more beautiful.

i told my therapist it was good because i like the changes i made and there's something so strong about saying i did that. the problem is that i can like the difference all i want, but i changed for you. something akin to getting your name tattooed, all my progress is stamped with fuck you.

it was the happiest i'd ever been and also the best i'd ever gotten. i would still get in the car and think what the fuck just happened.

[butchsaint]

i love gideon the ninth because i think readers will naturally take what a narrator says at face value, because that is what we are conditioned to do. but gideon says so many blatantly incorrect things confidently because she doesn’t know better, or is outright lying, and it makes for SUCH an interesting reading experience.

[leverage-ot3]

I’ve talked about this before but imagine what it’s like for someone in a country/place where eliot is Top Most Wanted and then your tech guy finds a breakout star baseball player on their visual scanner that looks EXACTLY like spencer. but…there’s no way that’s him, right???

and then the next year it happens again but this time it’s some one hit wonder country singer kenneth crane that has like 78 tween-run fangirl blogs dedicated to him. you see a grainy video of him being chased by a horde of screaming teenage girls and ??? no way Eliot Last Thing You’ll Ever See Spencer is a country singer star just. signing pictures of his face right…?

a few months later your intern shows you footage of an eliot lookalike who is in san lorenzo talking about how there is dog fighting in the presidential palace and you just. sigh. because of course. a scant few days later the political geography of the country changes drastically and damien moreau is imprisoned. …interesting

and then a year of silence goes by. he still shows up as blips on the radar but he must have a good hacker working for him because his tracks on the internet are expertly erased.

every time you ask through interagency channels some random interpol guy talks in (condescending?) riddles at you and it also somehow feels like he’s threatening you

and then your friend who recently got into foreign hockey teams sends you a dropyourgloves video of someone called jacques the bear. you immediately get a headache (and watch some more videos because even you can admit this guy is a good hockey player)

and you know he’s a Bad Guy but it’s been admittedly a bit entertaining seeing what claim to fame he will come upon next. and his most recent actions over the few years make you wonder.

a few months later your phone pings because multiple heads of state evacuated from DC. the reason? eliot spencer was in town. you hear two days later a bioterrorist was taken down by… the report was redacted. your hacker tells you spencer and two teammates were behind the successful operation. which, huh.

not even a full year later it is released that spencer is dead and… you don’t know how to feel.

[daisybell-on-a-carousel]

"Jason was the happy robin" this, "jason was the angry robin" that. Let's all be fully honest here Jason was the lonely robin

[mllenugget]

I felt like making up "angwy uwu" designs for Phil and Bad cuz yknow the whole angel demon thing, with no real intent to create context for them, but by the time I finished them we had the Election Diner code incident and the kidnapping of Dapper which made me go [blinking white guy meme]

I gotta give huge props to OngakuK for giving me inspo on some aspects 'Cause designing godlike figures with tons of ornements and symbolism is her shit, so I sent her my first drafts and asked for feedback and she gave me really cool ideas

And here's some bonus mid-shapeshifting doodles

My og designs for them are much tamer : Phil has got far less pairs of wings and 20 eyes less & Bad has got far less teeth and one single lower jaw

[marisatomay]

“you don’t owe anyone anything” actually you owe everyone everything!!! you OWE your table server and your coworkers and the elderly person you pass on the street and the dog on its walk and the child toddling along in the park and the driver trying to merge next to you and the pregnant person standing on public transport KINDNESS in return for theirs!! the connections we build are what give life meaning!!!

[ellie-shy]

I get it. I understand Lucanis now. I understand him. So. Much.

I just finished his quest Inner Demons and locked into his romance. And I cried. I legit cried while doing his personal quest. Because I felt it. It felt so personal, to Lucanis, and to myself.

I'm gonna pour my heart out under the cut because Lucanis has just ranked up so high into one of my favourite fictional characters ever. And that means a lot to me.

When I played my first playthrough (and of course avoiding spoilers) I saved Minrathous. And I was devasted to see how Treviso looked in the aftermath. Then, Lucanis was hardened. I know that there will be consequences with Luc's arc but I was not sure what it will be. So, after finishing the other companions' personal quest and getting the Hero of Veilguard for everyone... except Lucanis. I really thought after defeating Illario I would get the Hero status with him, but nooooo. Only after finishing the main quest, I got it. But, I felt something was... missing. Something was missing with Luc's arc, but I couldn't put my finger on it. Thus, I finished my first playthrough.

Understandable, I did hardened Lucanis. But it got me so curious... what was it that's missing in Lucanis's personal questline?

Then I made my dear dwarven Grey Warden warrior Rook : Juliet Thorne, to romance him.

And I finally got to the Inner Demons quest, a quest that I never done before (and also tried so hard to avoid spoilers before doing it 😂).

Hold my hand while I confess this. I cried. I really cried when doing Inner Demons. This is what I was missing in my first playthrough?? Helping Lucanis escaped from his inner prison???

Inner Demons felt so personal. Like deeply personal. My Rook is actively involving herself into Lucanis's deep and personal thoughts. And you know what made me cry even more? This quest felt personal to me too.

I also understand Spite now!!! Why he wants OUT!! He didn't just want to go out in the world through Lucanis, he can't even go out of the Ossuary that Lucanis has made for himself, his own turmoil and guilt 😭😭😭😭😭😭

I get it now 😭 Oh God do I get it now (still crying btw).

Spite wanted to go out and it knows that they aren't in the Ossuary anymore, but why does Spite keep seeing the Ossuary? That is what made Spite so frustrated! Until Spite was desperate enough to ask for Rook's help because Spite knows, Rook "opens doors, never closing them" 😭 Spite knows the only way to get through Lucanis, is through Rook.

Lucanis, has made a giant wall to protect himself from everyone. Including Spite. He self-isolates, to the point of pushing Rook away. But he didn't mean it. Lucanis has a heart of gold. He is kind, he remembers my Rook's chocolate drink, he cooks for everyone, he considers Emmrich's vegetarian preferences, he buys things for the team, he isolates himself in the pantry because he doesn't want to cause trouble to anyone. He is a selfless bastard that's willing to sacrifice his happiness and comfort for everyone around him. Why? Because he thinks he doesn't deserve it. 😭 This mindset has developed after years of trauma. Years of training and torture... so he can be perfect. If he can't be perfect (which is the very high standard and expectation that he has set for himself), then he can never have happiness. At least that's what he thought. And I get it, because I have this trauma too.

This is why he punished himself so much. He was rescued by Rook and lived, but has a demon inside him. His city is saved, but at the cost of Neve's city. He made a god bleed, but didn't kill the god as per the contract. He killed Zara, his abuser, but he was devastated that Illario, his family, was involved. Every single time, everytime Lucanis thought he had a moment of victory/happiness, it will be at the cost of another he cared for. And he punished himself again, and again. Trying so hard to solve his own problems without involving anyone, and never asking for help. And that's why he pushed Rook away, he can't lose another person he cared for. Because he is such a selfless man!

I felt this, his trauma, fear and anxiety, I can relate with Lucanis. This feeling will eat you from the inside. It will make you develop a sense of self-hate, low self-esteem, not being satisfied with everything you have done and etc etc. It will drown you, literally, within your own spiral of self-hate. I cried while playing the Inner Demons quest, because it felt so personal to me too, as if I'm drowning again. But visualizing it with Lucanis this time. And hey, the Ossuary is an underwater prison. Lucanis is drowning.

And it's hard, you know. Because you will feel like no one is gonna help you other than yourself. Yet, you can't even save yourself. Lucanis couldn't save himself.

Until Rook.

The way that Lucanis just kept pushing her away, but my Rook just kept breaking down every single wall he built. Reassuring him, acknowledging him, supporting him, validating him, every step of the way. Rook didn't give up on him. Rook cares for him, so deeply. And nothing can stop her from reaching to Lucanis. Lucanis was so scared to lose Rook, or something would happen -- but Rook knows, it's gonna be okay.

I cried again because... to have someone like Rook, who willingly bring down every wall you make, carefully guiding you out of the place that's drowning you... that's special. That's very special. Rook is so special to Lucanis. Whether he was romanced or not, Rook is special. I was so happy for Lucanis, he has found someone, that will bring down his walls, that rescued him from drowning, that reassures him that he is enough. Because he is enough. And he will be okay.

This quest is so personal to me. Lucanis is a fictional character that resonates with me, so deeply. I understand him better now, because I see myself in Lucanis, and the experience he has been through are so similar with mine irl (minus being possessed ofc haha). It felt so validating, knowing that I am not alone. But don't worry about me, I'm in my own healing journey too <3 The moment I bawled my eyes out was when reading his thoughts fragments. My actual thoughts that time was "why does these thoughts sound so much like mine?".

Now I finally understand what was missing in my 1st playthrough. Knowing Lucanis, he built a wall to Rook, because he just lost his city. He has to put his guard up to Rook because he knows, no one will save him. Eventhough, in the end, he does trusts Rook, but not enough to bring his walls down. And that's valid, because I would do the same.

This is what makes his romance so meaningful and deep. He is vulnerable to a romanced Rook. He trusts Rook wholeheartedly. Literally, placing his heart on his hands and presenting it to them. Rook freed him from his inner demon (which was actually, himself), and guess what happens next? Lucanis would literally worship the ground Rook walks on. Let me tell you something, to achieve this level of trust in a relationship with someone like Lucanis, is otherworldly. I can't explain how meaningful Rook is to Lucanis. Perhaps even Rook wouldn't know how important they are to Lucanis. Only Lucanis knows how much Rook means to him. And me, the player.

Lucanis is a man that's going to treat you right. He would cook for you, he would take care of you, he would waste his time with you, he would do anything you ask. He would live for you, he would die for you, he would kill any gods you ask to keep you safe. His words and actions carry weight. Lucanis is indeed a passionate man, but his passion is only for the person that deserves it... a romanced Rook.

This is such an emotional post, but I just want to express how this short 'outing' quest means a lot to me. I won't go into detail on how much similarities I have with him. Just let me say this, I see myself in Lucanis Dellamorte, and I'm happy that I'm not alone going through the journey of healing my inner self.

Let me be hopeful, that one day, I will find my own Rook <3

[paunchsalazar]

some Dragon Age II scribbles

[deliciousindelusion]

Sorry if coloring is messy, I was feeling lazy.

LMAO Pattadol doesn’t understand what went wrong in her ‘totally foolproof romance’ plan. Mithrun just took the L like a champ though. Thistle had a good day after that.

[alasarys]

... they might be in my bedroom

[opheliasam]

The thing is that the ways in which dean and sam need each other are both compatible and parallel in their nature.

Dean needs sam to stay with him (let him take care of him look after him and be with him) and sam despite all his need for autonomy and freedom which he does desire of course (he needs dean to respect his choices and see him) also needs dean to need him—choose him. It’s always been that way—something we see from the very pilot itself. He goes with dean in the pilot after dean admits that he doesn’t want to do it without sam even if he is capable for it.

It affects sam profoundly when dean gets close to other people—especially men because it threatens the idea that dean could need people other than him (even the mere desire to want for others apart from him is distasteful even if he doesn’t want it to be—he just can’t help it, it’s the way they are.) Of course dean has never needed for anything more than sam, that sam and just sam has always been more than enough but sam needs that from him, constantly and actively.

In Sacrifice (8x23), when he reveals that the fact that dean chose to turn to people (an angel, a vampire) apart from him was unbearable to him was just so.. much. And it’s interesting because we know that sam too is friends with cas, has never been shown to consider him a rival in any sense (but just the mere possibility of sam and just sam not being enough for dean is devastating for him.) He doesn’t harbour any resentment or competition towards cas, it’s just that he needs to be the choice over everything else from dean. He needs it because he chose that too, even when he had a chance to get out—multiple times over. And yes, the circumstances shaping his choices are often not ideal, are sometimes not even entirely choices but he always stays because of the knowledge that dean will always choose him.

The conflict then is often caused by doubt—dean, deeply insecure about sam’s loyalty. For him, it’s a given—that sam will always be first, has always and forever been above everything else but he expects sam to know it too. Despite everything he puts on him and says to him, despite the fights and the anger and the mistrust. None of that will ever change this one fundamental thing.

But Sam doesn’t (!!) Maybe at one time he did, before the demon blood and the soullessness and the countless countless ways he thinks he fucked up but somewhere along the line it became clear to Sam that he could not trust it to always be Dean’s first choice, can’t know it for sure.

Doubt again, Sam—unable to know if Dean will always choose him over all else and Dean unable to verbalise that enough because of said insecurity (the fear that he needs sam more than sam needs him) and unable to understand why Sam would feel this way because he expects him to already know that Sam will always be above all else, at the end of the day despite whatever happens because that is who Dean is.

[bluebugjay]

so why was Charles so adamant that Brad and Hunter were 'just best mates' ? like why did he come in so quick to say so? Richie couldn't even hear him so he was only defending them to Edwin and Crystal and it really has nothing to do with Charles wanting them to be 'good guys.' It was pretty clear Richie was just lying or joking because they'd literally spoken to Brad and Hunter and knew they thought they'd been murdered so I doubt Crystal or Edwin were believing the whole gay suicide pact thing, and yet Charles swoops in immediately like, no no they're just best mates!! And he specifically says 'best mates' rather than friends or best friends, when 'best mates' is what we've all come to associate with Charles and Edwin.

Everything else he defends Brad and Hunter for lines up with him wanting them to be good guys but this one things sticks out, unless he thinks being gay stops them from being good guys. Obviously Charles has no issue with people being gay, he accepts Edwin immediately, but he's projecting onto Brad and Hunter, he wants them to be good so he can prove he can also be good so it's much more personal if they turned out to be gay (again I don't think any other character was believing Richie's story, only Charles seemed bothered enough to debunk it) it's kind of giving the impression that Charles is actively avoiding thinking about his own sexuality or even the possibility of it. He shuts the joke down immediately, even though considering Edwin's journey this season, it seems more like a statement he'd have an opinion on. Basically Charles sees himself in these boys and all of a sudden their sexuality is questioned, making Charles think even a millisecond about his own, and whether that would stop him being able to relate to them and he just immediately shuts it down.

And if Charles gets his idea of good from what his Dad expected of him yet also wanting to be the furthest thing from his Dad, he probably has a really foggy idea of what 'good' even looks like. It's likely he can see how being queer isn't bad and accept it immediately in others but possibly struggle more with questioning his own sexuality. He's so quick to accept and forgive others yet holds himself to impossible standard of moral goodness he couldn't possibly wish to achieve. And if he's grown up in a homophobic environment which is very likely considering, he's probably got a very confusing idea in his mind about whether he could balance being good and being queer.

[beaft]

the most fucked up thing about the insanely long waiting times for UK gender clinics is that the ultimate TERF bugaboo is the scary trans woman who has made "no effort" to medically transition. that's the argument they jump to every time - the "why should we treat this man like a woman when all he's done is put on a dress?" - and it's patently absurd because like, what the fuck do you expect her to do? become a shapeshifter? get a back-alley boob job? magic up the funds for private healthcare out of nowhere? it's so moronic