#they dont make me quite as deranged as some people

[weatheredcopper]

desertduo for shipping bingo?

they're sooo

[wannaeatramyeon]

not a request, i just have no friends that like lookism who i can rant about this to.

my brain cannot stop thinking about gun and goo with a s/o that is very feminine but in the way that a porcelain doll is feminine. like pretty and delicate but with an underlying creepiness in an uncanny valley way.

like holds gun and goos hand while walking down the street and part of the people walking past are scared of gun and goo but then they look at her and are like "😰" because there is something so off about her.

gun and goo going inside a store and getting something because they know that any man who tries anything will see that creepy doll-like stare and immediately walk away.

i dont know, theres just something about femininity of porcelain dolls that goes so well with gun and goo in my brain and i just needed to tell someone about this worm in my brain.

thank you for reading my rant, its greatly appreciated, my mind needed to put this SOMEWHERE.

Me about to say of course anyone ending up with Gun and/or Goo would be deranged. As a fandom we breeze over what horrific monsters they are then... this happened. Some things just write itself almost instantly. Thank you for sharing your thoughts with me anon!!

Gun Park x Reader x Goo Kim: Soulless

F reader. A strange throupling. If you want horny, this is not it.

Crystal isn't sure if it is a stroke of genius or temporary lapse of sanity from her father to pair Gun Park and Goo Kim together.

Like oil and water; if the oil and the water was both highly toxic and would guarantee a painful death.

Nevertheless, it got the job done.

Yet when you were introduced, an odd addition and forming a throuple, Crystal worked hard to not show the confusion on her face.

True, her hyungs are very handsome in their own right and it would make sense they match up with someone equally beautiful.

But your doll-like, 'look you the wrong way and you may shatter' appearance seemed completely at odds with Gun and Goo.

And then she shook your hand, looked into your eyes and it all clicked.

Quite simply, there was nothing there. Vacant, soulless.

A void not dissimilar to Gun Park.

The polite 'hello' and stretched smile also reminiscent of Goo Kim.

Beneath your pretty layers, your pink and your frills are further hints of your true nature. Faint markings around your collarbone, dried blood below your manicure, dust and dirt marring your footsteps.

As Gun and Goo debriefed Crystal on HNH comings and goings, you simply sat there. One hand around Gun's arm and head resting on Goo's shoulder.

Staring and quiet. Expression unreadable. Just... existing.

You laughed when you were supposed to, added to the conversation when you should.

As if waiting for your cue. Even your blinks seem scripted.

Finally, when Crystal departs, she locks eyes with you for the last time.

A sense of drowning overwhelms her. Like she is treading water over an abyss, waiting for whatever is lurking to engulf her whole.

Feeling as if she would fall into your darkness forever, she couldn't repress the shiver down her spine.

[minquiec]

My 5k word essay on why I like bringing pain and suffering to the two idiots I love dearly (A thesis)

[alternative title being: me ranting abt jipunk for 2 hours straight im kiddingg]

So like

At this point I'm pretty sure most people can tell I enjoy pulling angst out of nowhere for absolutely NO reason necessary other than pain heeheehaahaa well it ain't gonna stop 😁 CAUSE TRUST THAT I will make sure every au I ever make of these two end in numbingly tragic angst one way or the other 🦅 jkjk they won't all be that bad it'll just have varying degrees of sadness

Anyways

I actually do have a reason for never giving them a happy (canonical or implied) happy ending ☝️ the thing abt me is every detail or like choice I make in character design/relationship/etc is that it's always intentional (most of the time) like there's always some kind of corny reason behind it bc I'm jwndkwjd insane and just think too hard abt two characters that don't even exist.

So like so like

I am an absolute loser for tropes like 'in another life' or 'in every life' or just anything among those lines. Like genuinely it does smth irreparable to my brain it's not even funny.

And basically the thought process for jipunk was like they're LITERALLY from different universes which quite literally means they can't end up together bc it's just not possible. But tbh the whole multiverse logic and how it works is up to interpretation cause y'know it's just a movie but personally I see it as smth pretty impossible for lore sake and stuff HAHSHA

So because the 'original' jipunk (atsv versions) can't end up together, I decided to go and think

"HMM."

"WHAT IF THEY ARE THE EPITOME OF 'ill find you in every universe" BUT EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM END IN THE SAME WAY (never ending up tgt)"

Cause for the different au's each of them is technically a different reincarnate in different worlds with different lives.

And like going back to when I said varying levels of sadness: what I meant was in some aus they'll be literally universes apart (which in itself is already sad asf) but in other aus they could live in the same world but their lives are like perpendicular lines because they'll meet and then never cross paths again (BECAUSE this is what their fate is supposed to be if we base it off their atsv counter parts: they were never meant to be bc they're from different universes)

BUT DONT KILL ME YET BC

technically

teccchnicaalllllyyy

In the long run they do have a happy ending

(longass run bru)

So there isn't a proper timeline for which universes 'happen first' bc that just doesn't make sense but

The modern au where it has the convenience store

Is their happy ending

Endgame au fr

Cause if you think abt it right (this is a headcanon), hb isn't the type of person to fall in love based on looks.

Yet in the modern au he ends up crushing on a silly little employee of the convenience store he goes to.

And like it's just this pull he can't understand for the life of him??? Cause it feels so shallow to him to like someone bc he thinks their pretty

Little does he know

So after they get tgt in the modern au, I'm thinking of this one moment where he kind of figures it out/sort of/not really but he is just like

"idk what it is but it feels like I've spent lifetimes with you"

BECAUSE YOU HAAAAAAVE@)$()2(# AAAAAAUEGEGHHEGEG JM SOBBING

HE SAYS IT BC HE REALIZES HIS SOUL IS JUST SO COMFORTABLE WITH HER PRESENCE ALMOST LIKE ITS GOTTEN USED TO IT SINCE A LONG LONG TIME AGO

And I realized just now but omfg the comic I made where he drunk confess and goes 'I liked you first'

HES LITERALLY BEEN LIKING HER FIRST IN THEIR FIRST LIFE (ATSV) IM GOING TO FUCKIGNNEF THROIWN UP

Soulmates idc idc IDCCCC

Took the quote I love you in every lifetime and RAAAAANNNN WITH IT

I enjoy tragic love stories tm

This isn't delusion anymore this is derangement

They r so dear to me

They are my kdramas, they are my bridgerton, they are my therapy this is how I cope.

[mono-red-menace]

i spent quite a while online trying to prove i was a good tranny. like trying to prove that i was worthy of existence out of a fear that i would be targeted. yk? i've been a person with intrusive thoughts for a long time and i would often see my thoughts as my "true colours" even though i didn't want them. anything over than fighting them full-on was an admission of my true horrid nature.

this was exacerbated by my attempts to get therapy yk. like coming out as trans and being told to my face, through gritted teeth, that it's "fine" if i'm trans. i'm "not going to hurt someone. yet. especially not children." from someone who was supposed to help me. to make me feel better. to make me less scared. outright telling me that i'm a paedophile literally just for being trans. a teenager.

or any attempt to get help with my intrusive thoughts, "i'm thinking these awful things and i don't want them. they scare me and they won't stop," to therapists, and met with obvious disgust and contempt. like because i'm thinking these things, because they jump into my brain, even though they scare me, depress me, make me want to tear my skin off, they're an example of the "real me." it's nothing wrong with my brain, obviously, to them. it's a perversion. i'm not someone who is deeply hurt and scared. i'm disgusting to them.

the thoughts were like. made worse by it too. yk. asking for like. help. like "surely these thoughts don't make me wrong, right? surely it's just a brain thing, surely i'm good, i'm not bad?" and it being met with "you're a disgusting person. you're a pervert. you're going to hurt children. you're violent and deranged." really doesn't make the thoughts better. you know.

they got worse.

much more violent, much more sexual, much more often. constant thoughts of how i could ruin people in so many ways. and i'm the only one experiencing them. no one even knows what im thinking. and i'm so distressed. they're proof that i'm secretly a horrible person. i have to prove that i'm not. i can't let the thoughts win. i don't want them to win.

so like i wanted to like. really prove that it was wrong and that i wasn't bad and that i was a good tranny and i'm a normal person and i don't constantly get bombarded with horrible, disgusting thoughts. i wanted to prove that i was good. even though I believed my thoughts were proof of how horrible and wrong i was. how much i deserved to be locked up. so i also felt a guilt about it. you know. like not only am i horrid and deranged, but i'm also pretending i'm not. and for what? why would i? i obviously had some ulterior motive if i was doing it. i didn't even know what it was. but i could guess. there were so many reasons why i could be pretending to be good.

anyway. the intrusive thoughts have been getting better now that i'm in a caring environment. and a bit less now that i'm not around people as much. i still get the intrusions of killing this person/animal, of sexually assaulting this person/animal. but they're a lot less common. and now I know that an intrusive thought isn't something that proves i'm wrong. or bad. it's something that proves i'm hurt.

i don't want to do that stuff. i'm scared of doing that stuff. it terrifies me, and i obsess over it because it terrifies me. you know? so in my getting better with dealing with it and getting better with accepting that it's not what i want, I've been getting better at not feeling the overwhelming urge to prove that i'm actually good. you know?

idk i just. dont talk about this because it makes me feel like people will think im a bad person. i dont want people to think i'm. a bad person. i want to prove that i'm good. i want to prove that the thoughts aren't me.

talk about intrusive thoughts online, actual talk about actual intrusive thoughts, has been really helpful to me. i've been internalising the ideas in them. countering what was thrown at me with the new knowledge of what intrusive thoughts are. and in accepting the thoughts are evidence of pain, not inherent badness, they've lessened.

anyways. it's funny how often the help i need to get over deep-seated issues in my brain comes from a source outside of therapy. and many of the things that Made Me Worse came Directly From Therapists. guess that's what it's like being a trans woman growing up im a conservative state. lmao.

[besavedbyaperfectkiss]

Literally who is bullying her. Answer quickly. Your friend is deranged and a bully herself hence her “fuck you” and “you’re on a watchlist” posts

FIRST OF ALL PLEASE DONT CURSE AT ME (joke because she has never even said that to anyone so?????)

Now for more civilization, I will not be name dropping that is an extremely rude thing to do and something that those people have already done.

She has be getting A RIDICULOUS AMOUNT of anon hate so I can’t even put those bullies on blast either.

Also I didn’t have to answer this so be thankful that I did and did politely. My friend is actually not deranged and all of this was very much taken too far by many people. I know her boyfriend very well. He is connected and I think it’s very funny that all of you believe it’s some weird elaborate lie being told here when people are coming up with lies about Taylor themselves. Now, as far as the watchlist goes, it does exist and is extremely hard to get on as far as I have been told. But with the way you just spoke to me…..I’m sure that’s easy.

The list was also mainly for people who were speaking on her breakup badly (like unremarkably badly) as well as her personal/sex life. (Extremely intrusive) all of these things had to be Constant.

I don’t even know all the rules but from what I do know it’s Hard and a nice person was trying to warn EVERYONE not just this one big blog you love so much.

Again, you can be led to believe whatever narrative you want but trying to make someone who is genuinely kind and was quite literally trying to make sure you guys knew about all of this the villain is a level of insanity I can’t even reach. You should definitely try to think some more on it and I’m saying this nicely because I don’t think you’re a terrible person unlike how you believe someone you have never met is.

Have a great day/night!!

[chiosblog]

A bit of a long post ahead

I dont know if any of you'd like to give it a read or not lol but i needed to write down some stuff today

I know this day is like any other but to me its quite a big anniversary even tho I won't throw a big party (i mean i wish) or anything.

I'm aware I come off as annoying as fuck when i keep talking and talking about my obsessions but this one is just so so special to me, i dont know if it get across just how much lol.

I wont go into a deep dive cause that would be a 'not so entertaining' read lol (you know 'struggling with being a loner' and all that stuff) but this online space I have here is the most precious I've ever been in. I think at this point even the wall know I've been in many fandoms but never I've found one that became somewhat of a family to me, one I'm so proud and happy to be a part of.

(Sorry for the long post but thinking about what this silly 80s show have done for me make me emotional lol💛)

That may be the cheesiest thing ever (and I seem deranged most times i know) but finding people I can really vibe with it's something I never took for granted so I'm grateful I finally found my special ones. I haven't been in this fandom as long as many others but the people I've met thanks to these 4 veteran idiots made my life take a drastic turn for the better and for whatever it will last thank you for sticking with me, this means literally the world to me❤❤❤

Can someone explain to me why I'm all of a sudden obsessing (again) over a gay crack ship from a 80's tv show with zero fandom and barely any content at all?

Why I have to do this to myself...

[iwanttofuckereh69]

Talk more about draken x kakucho

I mean yes, sure, definitely 😳 I will gladly spread my KakuKen (KenKaku? Drakucho???) propaganda. My significant-deranged-person (@hornyimpulsivity) and I wrote over 1500 pages about them cuties so trust me, i can talk about them A LOT

Dunno what you wanted to hear so i decided to just tell you how it came to be in the first place since people often are confused. Let me know if you would like me to write some headcanons about them or whatever SORRY IF IT SOUNDS LIKE AO3 SUMMARY I DONT KNOW HOW ELSE TO EXPLAIN THIS SHIT

Funny enough, it started as a Draken x Mikey fanfiction. It just… I don’t know. It happened. It wasn’t planned AT ALL because come on, it’s so random. But trust me, the more you think about it, it kinda makes sense, at least in my head 🥴

Draken and Kaku never really interacted in canon, but i feel like they have a lot in common. And I feel like it’s especially evident in the Bonten timeline. They are both loyal and they both have a deep sense of righteousness. And it’s kind of ironic they ended up in such a place. In whatever this is that we're writing Draken joined Bonten in hopes to save Mikey s o m e h o w. Instead he finds himself trapped in this world he doesn’t belong to. And it’s quite the same with Kakucho tbh. He isn’t a cold-blooded criminal after all. He follows orders he is given, but that doesn’t mean it is easy for him. He is lost after Izana’s death. And that’s another thing they share. They both deeply love unattainable people. Draken undoubtedly loves Mikey, despite Manjiro’s efforts to push him away. And Kakucho loved Izana. They both have been hurt by those people but they still stood by their sides. That similar experience makes it easier for them to empathize with one another and understand one another on a deeper level. And it just works in those specific circumstances they happen to find each other in. At least that's the case in that horrifically long piece of writing we've produced.

They become each other’s grounding in harsh reality of Bonten. It started out by them just trying desperately to find a little bit of peace in that whole madness. And yeah, at first it’s just physical, but with time they start to develop the feels. It’s messy and complicated and angsty and they just can’t communicate and end up hurting one another nhjuvnghikujehiueigkvinh

I don’t know it was a happy little accident and i just grew to love them so much <3333 I wish more people would see the potential lol

(full piece somewhere in my profile)

[pivsketch]

sketches of chip chadwick from earlier this year-- thats all four of them, now. i did not do as many preliminary sketches of him like samson, taggart, or basil because i had trouble deciding on what hair to give him, so i decided to just make it up as i went along. as a result theres not a lot of unposted stuff, most of the drawings of him are just whats already in my tagcen tag. whatever, hes shaped like a buff triangle. and i still dont know how to draw his hair

like the other three of the tagcen crew, infodump under the readmore

fun facts™ about Chip!!

His legal name is Chase Chadwick. Unlike Basil, Taggart, or Samson he doesn't particularly care enough to hide it but ironically enough most people just think thats a fake name anyway.

He used to just wrestle under just his actual first name Chase, but changed it to Chip Chadwick in response to Afterburner saying he had a chip on his shoulder. Unfortunately Afterburner quit and disappeared from the scene before he saw this, but Chip kept it regardless.

He has a sister named Sasha Chadwick. She is a regional manager for a major grocery store chain and their parents generally consider this to be more successful than Chip being a wrestler, although they've been coming around to it in recent years. Chip has got a whole complex about being the lesser of the two-- He's lived in her shadow his whole life and its made him mildly deranged.

Chip graduated university with a major in physics and a minor in economics. He was also in a fraternity, and was taking wrestling classes (to… Relax? Blow off steam??) while in the process of getting his degree. Deranged overachiever.

Hes been passionate about wrestling since forever, but didn't think it was a viable career choice especially compared to Sasha "im getting a college degree in management" Chadwick, which is why he also went to college but for the comparatively more sciencey and important Physics major*. He also got a minor in economics, in order to segue into some sort of career in the financial sector. He ended up taking wrestling classes on the side to fulfill the need/desire to be showy and physical. college nerdjock…

Despite all this, he always took it extremely personally when Afterburner (Basil) said he was not good at wrestling lol. Burner (and Taggart) had all the free time in the world to tumble around and train. Between getting his degree and (after he graduated) his intern-job, Chip did not have all the free time in the world. But he never brought this up because that'd just be making excuses (and shouldn't he be the best at everything he did?)

After Chip lost to Afterburner (for the nth time…) Burner said something so scathing to him, Chip straight up quit his job in order to train and commit to wrestling full-time. He returned extremely buff and good at wrestling. Unfortunately Afterburner quit and disappeared from the scene before he saw this, but Chip kept going regardless…

He's pretty successful for how early on he is in his career, with some big wins under his belt (he beat samson! well... after he had already lost the championship he was holding, but still), but he still isn't satisfied.

---

anyway thats it! i may have secretly made chip a poor little meow meow. i can't help it it is in my nature as a creator or whatever to give all my characters a certain amount of pathetic quality and also problems. but dont be fooled and dont pity him. trust me he sucks and is mean and rude. i just dont draw it enough. look

wow!

*for a long while i couldnt decide on what he should've majored in. it needed to be something impressively technical (so, STEM) but mostly bookish/nonphysical/abstracted/very involved with equations (which is why he'd want/need to do an extracurricular tangible and physical activity, like wrestling), and also something immediately prestigious and capitalistic with a clear career path because hes doing this to rival his sister (which rules out stuff like "lawyer" and anything that goes into straight academia). it would ideally be something business/finance adjacent so basil would be drawn to finding chip's behaviors familiar/relatable but not literally business or finance because that'd too relatable to basil which would make him nope the fuck out. i didnt think him being a CS major would fit for the type of Guy i was trying to manifest, and neither would biology/chemistry/medicine. i wanted him to be some sort of math major but i couldnt figure out valid non-academia pathways for that. i initially didnt want to make him major in physics because of (ahem) comparisons to certain crowbar-wielding scientists, but then i learned that there was a common track of physics -> finance data equation career so i reconsidered. i think it ends up fitting. another important element is that chip had a very specific career path in mind here when he went to university and got his degree (and a minor too! jeez) but because he was fueled not by passion but by spite, it was very easy/quick for him to drop everything to do wrestling instead. this is something that would also repeat itself again when it came to the tagcen tournament, as he had this very specific plan with samson (win tagcen tournament -> get into the invitational continental tag team tournament -> win big tag team gold) which he would stray from to chase after basil... again... for the second time. chip's endless stubborn obsession with basil is like, the main catalyst for the conflict in the TAGCEN story, so. the more things that reinforce that concept the better. anyway thanks for reading my ted talk about my thought process on characterizing my antagonist. ive done this to varying degrees with basil and taggart and samson too but chip is the only one im the least embarrassed about publicly pontificating about

[3liza]

hey im not gonna spread your weird social media-mediated brain infection on my blog, instead here are some cool studies to look at about how the "beautiful people have an easier life, every day, all the time" is a simplistic view, and is also patriarchal as fuck. more recent studies on "beauty privilege" are finding that the issue is complex, and that perceived beauty acts as a negative pressure in some/many social situations. i have always wondered why my experiences varied so much from the apparent wonderland the pop-science concept of "beauty privilege" paints, and more recent studies (often designed by women this time, imagine) are getting into the complexity there.

you personally may want to think about not reading my social media accounts if they are making you feel and act like this. i think i am not going to interact with you anymore if i can help it because i feel bad about what it is doing to you. anyway.

the short version is that beauty is beneficial in heterosexual social situations when dealing with the opposite sex, but detrimental when dealing with the same sex. this aspect of the research is usually ignored because who needs nuance in their pop psychology, right? not this guy (pointing 2 self)

very simply put, a beautiful woman can flirt her way out of a ticket from a heterosexual male cop. if she tries it on a person who doesnt consider her a potential romantic partner, there may be (and apparenly often are) negative consequences.

similarly in my own life i find that 99% of the apparent opportunities i'd been given for being young and fuckable were predicated on me actually fucking* the person who "offered" them, and most of them turned out to be fake/insincere opportunities anyway. tumblr refers to this as "grooming" when applied to child subjects (which i was, for much of it) but the behavior persists into the target's adulthood, middle age, and even old age if certain conditions are met. i can't find any studies on this because you can't put a Sleazy Guy in a lab setting and ask him "hey were you actually going to hire this woman on hte up-and-up, or were you going to 'hire' her and then spend 16 months making increasingly deranged sexual harassment attempts before reporting her to HR for made-up reasons and then finally firing her or hamstringing her career? just wondering".

i always think about that episode of Always Sunny where Mac goes nuts because every kid in his class was molested by the gym teacher and he imagines this to be some sort of privilege, even though charlie was one of the victims and is clearly devastated by it. thats what this conversation feels like every time it gets to the level of anons making fake tumblr accounts to KEEP pestering me about this stuff. remember that thing i said earlier about blood in the water, and how i dont post about bad shit that happened to me because it attracts the wrong kind of attention??? hehuehueheuheuhuehriuhgfidsrhru

actually thats a whole other realm of study: why victims of sexual assault and abuse are often re-victimized. until recently it was assumed that the victims were making bad decisions in who to trust, and this is sooorrrrtt of true, but doesn't tell the whole story. i read a study once that i am trying to find and will post later if i find it, that took video of adult women study subjects (who had agreed to be filmed) walking normally just down the street publically, and showed this video to male test subjects. if im remembering the study correctly, which i may not be, the male subjects who scored higher on psychopathy indices were better able to indentify the women in the test footage who had been sexually assaulted at some point in their former lives.

something to think about is a lot of "attractive" qualities (including proccupation with physical appearance leading to altering that appearance to be more beautiful), especially in the manic pixie archetype, are very strongly represented in trauma victims, especially sexual assault survivors (as is the opposite, intentionally trying to be "unattractive" to avoid further victimization). this includes "seductiveness", one of the adjectives used to diagnose child sexual abuse victims before the verbiage in the literature got cleaned up. obviouly a child cant be "seductive" and thats pretty offensive and fucked up to say. what they meant is that the childs behavior has been altered by trauma to become sexualized to appease attackers. this is part of the "fawn" sector of emergency responses in humans (along with fight, flight, and freeze).

so when we talk so cavalierly of "beauty" and "attractive people" vs "unattractive people" we are simplifying an issue that is so complex it is difficult even to think about. this complexity makes me go "hmm" every time theres a study on it, much less a popular belief. a lot of it sort of doesnt square with easily-observable phenomena: if physical beauty is so correlated to success, why are the 1% of wealthy people, politicians, actual power-holders, hell even the CEOs of normal companies, very very rarely what you would consider physically beautiful, even when they havent aged out of what the culture thinks is the maximum span of time someone can be "hot"? some of this is just personal preference, and it's real hard to study any of this because of how complex that issue becomes. but where are all these hot successful people i keep hearing about? are they all trophy spouses and retired from the public eye? you can definitely cherrypick examples of "influencers" etc but thats an extremely narrow line of work, and not representative.

anyway! lot of the "do beautiful people get more stuff" research is from quite a while ago, wasnt designed well, and was based on a work and social culture that was quite a bit different than it is now. but even older studies document this effect. ive spent like many minutes typing about this stupid bullshit so im bored and annoyed now and i dont want to type about it anymore

1. Effects of Self-Esteem Threat on Physical Attractiveness Stereotypes

2. Does being attractive always help? positive and negative effects of attractiveness on social decision making (cant find the sci-hub version, alas, but documents a negative effect we're actually seeing an anecdotal example of in my inbox rn)

3. Is beauty a gift or a curse? The influence of an offender’s physical attractiveness on forgiveness

* often it wasnt even just a sex thing. it's very very often a romance/relationship that is desired by the perpetrator. it's a misapprehension of the public that sexual harassment/grooming is "just about sex" or even less accurately "just about power", it isnt

[yanderemommabean]

Ok here me out on this au idea

You’re a brand new hero, and you just so happen to have a passion for video games. You meet this socially awkward, kind of childish guy on one but hes pretty good so you play with him for a while. You and him end up being pretty good friends and eventually you admit you’re a hero, and he completely dotes on you over it, but eventually his questions and comments get a little strange. Like it eventually turns into the “Don’t you ever just wanna go apeshit?” meme.

Within the next few weeks you’re called into what’s basically a LoV vs Heros battle. Right as you’ve beaten some minor villians, you see shigaraki coming towards you. Of course you launch yourself at him, screaming at him about what a terrible, cruel man he is. As you’re fighting you realize he’s only dodging you, and then he starts revealing very personal things about you only a few people know.

“Come on now, aren’t you my player two? Don’t act so surprised, you KNOW i know all about you!”

Before you can realize who he really is too you and what’s happening, he pulls you through a portal

-🌩 anon

(Sorry for any misspellings or if this is cringey! English isnt my first language)

You’re the tear in his otherwise impenetrable armor. The one weakness he was ok with having, filling his every thought no matter how mundane and typical.

Everyday he plays online, it’s his getaway from the reality he’s forced into, and after meeting you it’s just become that much more of a necessity. He had a small interest in the beginning, seeing how you handled yourself and the missions thrown your way. Good tactics, some of them he even took notes on mentally so he could be better in the future.

Soon he learns your name, and with the help of persuasion he learned you were a hero and lived nearby. He admired that you were wanting to change the world, but you were on the wrong team. Not to worry, he’ll get that cute little mind of yours to think deeper on the whole hero society as a whole.

“So...did you become one for the paychecks?” He asks while munching on candy, letting the silence sink in as you think for a moment. The seeds of mistrust being planted always make beautiful music to him.

When you don’t answer, he begins asking more questions, casually shooting at enemies on screen “Ever wonder why they never save those who need them the most? I mean think of all the kids who have lost families because Heros were too lazy. Not to mention the property damage!”.

You snort into the mic and shake your head “The villains do their fair share of that too ya know? But no I just want to help people. Uhm- SHIT-“ you hiss trying to avoid being absolutely murdered by some asshole who tried to sneak up on you “God damn it! Fucker got me!”.

You hear laughing in your headphones and knew shigaraki was enjoying your gamer rage. Asshole. “Very funny. Distraction as a means to get me killed? Cold blooded dude”.

Shigaraki only hummed in acknowledgment, smirk on his face as he continues to move the joysticks and watch the map. “You should look deeper into the hero’s you want to be like. Some truths aren’t as on the surface as you’d like them to be”.

As the hours tick by, you allow his words to sit in the back of your mind, not paying much attention to them until you head to bed. Your body comfortable and letting your muscles relax, but your brain refuses to let his questions leave. Maybe he had a point, that some heros were less than savory, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be one.

Those thoughts haunt you for the days coming, and while on patrol you find yourself thinking back to them while fighting villains. Heroes surely have more morals than what Shigaraki thinks, right? They save people! It’s their job!

You were caught off guard, a punch landing right on your jaw, knocking you to the ground and on your back. Looking up, you see two men cackling down at you. One with red piercing eyes, dismembered hands covering his face as his bluish-white hair hangs low on his shoudlers. The man beside him, covered in staples and burns, blue eyes that steal the breath from you with how intensely they stared into you.

They both looked deranged and manic, as if they were about to burn down the world. Really, for all you knew, they were. Considering one of their quirks was combustion and the others was decay.

You rub your jaw and stand back up, wobbling a bit as both men just watch with unsettling smirks. “My my my, this is quite different from your typical fighting style” The man with hands all over him stated smugly. He scratched at his neck, gleefully watching your confused expression as you demand he explained what he meant.

“Oh surely you know what I mean. Usually you use much better strategy! Not just rush in and button mash like a noob” he causally gestures, stepping closer to you while the other man crossed his arms over his chest with a bit of an annoyed look. “You gonna play the theatrics or can we get what we came for and leave?” He snipped, seemingly jealous with his tone.

You yank away as a hand reached to grab you, your eyes wide as you try to piece together what he was talking about. He chuckled and roughly yanked you by your wrist, pressing you to his chest “My player two. So clueless without me, so lost on how the world really works. Dont worry, I’m here now. I’ll show you how things really work”.

You writhe and begin fighting his death grip, panic filling your mind as you realize who this was. “T-Tomura?! “ you gawked, feeling dumb and confused as to why any of this was happening and how to get out of this without getting killed. His other arm wraps around your waist, pressing your body snugly into his hold as he inhaled your scent, groaning as he savored the aroma.

“Don’t fight it. It’s a losing battle and you know it” his venomous voice whispered, a black hole surrounding you both and swallowing you whole. Within a blink you found yourself in an entirely new environment, dread filling your stomach as he begins to remove the hand covering his face, showing his true expression. Shigaraki licks his chapped lips and roams his eyes over your body, a soft laugh leaving him as you only stare like a deer caught in headlights.

“Oh I’m going to have so much fun showing you how good evil can feel”.

-Mommabean (tsk this needs work I know I know but I hope you enjoy! Comment, like or reblog if you want! )

[twink-frank]

hi i’ve noticed the pencey prep gay conversation going on over on @awsugar and i have spent lots of time dissecting pencey prep lyrics and subjecting nathan @faggot-frank to my deranged ramblings so Here is my pencey prep super ultra mega gay lyrical analysis masterpost. it’s very long so its all under the cut but i will include a TL;DR for those who dont wanna read paragraphs of my deranged ramblings: Pencey prep uses lots of themes of: heartbreak, forbidden love, keeping love a secret, and toxic relationships. which none of that is gay on its own but combined with them almost never using gender indicators in their songs and the “nail in the coffin song” of 8th grade it ends up being a very Fruity Album.

I will be going through heart break in stereo in order and pointing out which lyrics and elements of certain songs jump out to me as Super Mega Gay and then summarizing my conclusions at the end <3

1 ) PS Don't Write

PS don't write is about leaving a toxic relationship, it has notes of moving on and leaving someone behind. "packed up all my shit / stole back all my tapes / left your spare key under the mat / this is not a joke / you'd better learn to take a hint / 'cause i'm not coming back / maybe you'll understand / when you're waking up alone / in a cold and empty bed." it has no gender indicators or pronouns which is the case in a lot of pencey prep songs, and something i'll bring up quite a bit. it also has general "coming of age" themes, something common in lots of pencey prep songs. which Yeah apply to straight people to but read in this context combined with future evidence can be pretty Fuckin Gay. "somewhere along the line / i found a hidden strength / i didn't know i had / standing on my own / cutting all the strings / that you used to control / surprise surprise / i am long gone / if you thought you could hold me down / by holding me up / you were wrong / you don't call the shots anymore." not to say only gay people can find inner strength and the room to love themselves but combined with other context it is a really poignant message about accepting yourself for who you are.

2) Yesterday

Yesterday is very repetitive and has a lot less to analyze, but the constant themes of wanting to "run away" strike me as very Fruity. once again, not saying gay people are the only people who can want to run away or escape from something But Combined With Other Context. and once again a song with no gender indicators, doesnt specify who the speaker is running away with or what they are running away from. just that they want to Leave. "i wanna run with you / i don't care what we do / gotta get out of this place / because it feels like yesterday." also saying "it feels like yesterday" could mean that the town feels backwards or old timey in its beliefs, implying homophobia. how the speaker wants to run away from an old fashioned town.

3) Don Quixote

i'm going to bring up the cultural significance of this title and literary reference first. Don Quixote is a classical novel by Cervantes which is about a crazy dude who thinks he's a knight, and goes on weird adventures with his best friend. It's typically used as a symbol of following your dreams and breaking free from what people expect of you. In the context of the song its used as a symbol of following your dreams with Someone. once again this someone is given no gender indicators. "you say it's not worth it / been burned too many times / if your spine's receding / you can borrow some of mine / don't go and quit right now / cause i'd follow you through hell." "you say so many things / and not a word of it was true / if you're still in that state of mind / i'd still vacation inside of you / cause i think you're worth every minute / and every dime that i spend / i'd spend all my time fighting dragons / just to keep you alive and talking." it's about wanting to spend time with someone, wanting to be with them no matter what. and its also about how this person feels unreachable, like being with them would be a fairytail but the speaker Still Reaches for it. "your imaginations running wild / round your deceptive heart / this is my crusade / and you're the unreachable star / but i'm reaching." talking about this person being unreachable and unattainble. which isnt gay By Itself  but again combined with the other context. FRUIT BEHAVIOR.

4) 10 Rings

another breakup song once again with no gender indicators, are you guys sensing a theme here? anyways this song is about someone cutting you off and then coming back suddenly wanting to talk again after breaking your heart. it has a sense of forbidden love, like this person Told the speaker they cant be together for Whatever Reason ;] and is now trying to come back and repair their mistake when the speaker is already hurt and reeling. "learn to live with decisions you make / i learned things from the break i can't forget / catch you doing drive-bys at 1 AM / it must kill you to know we can't be friends." "end of the summer you cut me off / i cut you out all the pictures i have." which this Isnt Gay By Itself. but bringing that phrase back with other context this is such a uniquely gay experience. being in love with someone and they cut you off Because theyre weirded out by that and then they try to come back, convince you it meant nothing.

5) The Secret Goldfish

my FAVORITE pencey song. this one has a lot. it's another breakup song about heartbreak and loss and im not even gonna dwell on the no gender indicators because yall see the theme now. it has themes of heartbreak and losing someone who is very close to you and having to let go of them and having to accept that this person cant be yours and you cant be with them. "land of the lost / i found myself in nothing / this time, promises broken find me / clutching to you for something / something that you're not / believing in what you say / it makes me lie awake at night / the truth, the truth is not what scares me / it's why you have to lie / all the time." here we see these themes of having to let someone go because they just Aren't The Same as you. "clutching to you for something / something that you're not." maybe like chasing after a straight boy and getting rejected? also the repetition of "heartbreak is forever" when you're young and gay losing that first person you felt some kind of love and attraction to can feel like the end of the world and can be a huge deal because of the lack of representation and guidance young gays get. and the themes of nothing lasting forever, the fact that gay people never get promised eternal love the same way straight people do.

6) 8th Grade

this song is the nail in penceys fucking coffin honestly. the rest of these songs have a lot of plausible deniability, just vague enough to maybe Not Be Gay. but framed in the context of 8th grade they all start to get a lil fruity. Im just gonna go through lyric by lyric for this one. "caught staring again / like a deer in the headlights / when you can't move fast enough / i take a hit for the team / pretty girl is blushing / i can't tell if she's disgusted / laughter starts to swell / someone gets the joke." this kid was staring at some cute boy ass and got caught and everyone is laughing at him for being gay. the "pretty girl" here is what most people think he's staring at but with the rest of the song it's obvious she's not the one he's looking at. "bells ring, i make my escape / helps a little, but doesn't save / beat downs a common thing / with us every day / maybe im just strange / cause i dont change schools / so maybe i like the abuse / or maybe i just like you." literally This is the nail in penceys fucking coffin. "maybe i like the abuse or maybe i just like you." this kid purposefully takes beatings from his bully who is Obviously male if you take into context the next verse. because he Likes Him. "maybe im just strange / cause i dont change schools" literally willingly taking beatings from his bully bc he has a crush. "another confrontation / you've got something to prove / your girl can't tell how tough you are / when you beat me up in the boys room." this just confirms that the subject of the song is a boy, and a tough macho boy with something to prove. maybe also hiding his own internalized homophobia through bullying? "well i made a big mistake / but i can't help who i like / this may not cost my life / but i am branded forever lame." LITERALLY ITS RIGHT IN YOUR FACE. "can't help who i like" "branded forever lame" do i even need to fucking explain this oh my god. he got outed as gay, he Can't Help Who He Likes and is now branded forever as "the gay kid." the rest of the song is general "im gonna get back at my bully" stuff but literally THIS. THIS is the song that brands all penceys other very vague songs as 100% verified super mega ultra gay.

7) 19

this song has a lot less, and is more about internal struggle than anything. but it is the only song with a "she" pronoun in it. but there is one thing i wanna mention. "I scream out loud / but no one hears a sound / i take my life with lack of sleep / i believe the things i feel / the things i see are fooling only me." this song is about not believing what the world shows you, believing what you think is true in your heart and what You feel. not what anyone else tells you. which is a gay experience. believing in yourself and your heart and your feelings, believing theyre right and theyre true and valid. Also this song has a significance in coming right after 8th grade on the album, going from being 13 to 19, from being unsure in your feelings and angry about the people who dont like you to lost and hopeless but somewhat grounded in yourself.

8) Trying To Escape The Inevitable

this song is about an abusive and toxic relationship, knowing you Need to escape it but being so infatuated with the person you literally cant. “i have this reoccurring dream / you make it hard for me to breathe / i gave you everything i could / i gave up everything i owned / and when you smile it’s not for me / you offer little sympathy / your grasp so far exceeds your reach / i wake up, this is not a dream.” “i have this reoccuring dream / where you admit that you’re not happy / i know that you will never leave / you’re here just to torment me.” which like again this isnt an exclusively gay experience but it is very interesting when framed that way. in that gay people are way more likely to throw themselves into abusive and toxic relationships because they dont feel like they can get anybody else. the repetition of “i know i should run” makes it seem like the speaker Knows he should get out but he just Cant because what if he never finds love again? and the little reprise in the middle “i have a new dream / and everything is perfect / the sky is pink, yellow, green, blue, and orange / and all the past has been forgotten / and we fell in love / and we fell in love / and we fell in love / and i fell into your trap.” implying that even if he escapes, even in his dreams he still falls for this person because he feels like he cant have anything else.

9) Lloyd Dobbler

another love song about wanting to have someone but not being able to because of Unspecified Forbidden Reasons. “why are you so far away / even when you’re standing next to me? / your eyes give you away / telling secrets your mouht don’t feel like talking.” falling in love with someone, maybe sensing that they like you too. that they Are Like You and that they have a Secret they dont want to vocalize. do i even need to explain it at this point? and in the chorus “That I’ll be your lloyd dobbler / with a boom box out in the street / and i’ll be there if you need someone / even if he isn’t me.” saying you’ll be there for someone even if that person isn’t you, also the use of Pronouns which is big for pencey prep. which yes the use of “even if he isnt me” could imply a straight girl ooorrr....Fruit Behavior. also this line “There’s a norman rockewll painting / of two kids sitting on a bench / it reminds me of all the stupid things / i’d like for us to share, but i dont care.” normal rockwell is a painter that paints traditionally “american” scenes. like the american ideal, that maybe he wants with this person. but he knows he cant have, but its stupid and domestic and he wants it but he Cant Have It because of FRUIT BEHAVIOR.

10) Florida Plates

another of my favorite pencey songs, and this one brings back those tragic “love but we cant have it” themes, except with a more somber tone. instead of being angry or resentful or spiteful in the face of adversity. its an Acceptance, of what they had and how good it was and how it just Cant Last. “kiss a mouth to open eyes / stall one last moment before goodbye / drive in different cars in different directions / never write all the letters full of good words, better intentions / it’s for the best although we don’t know it / paper words will cheapen the moments we shared / it’s better if i say nothing at all.” it’s about knowing you have to leave someone, even if having them in the moment is great they Can’t Stay and you can’t even talk or write about the moments you had. which do i even need to explain it at this point? forbidden love, not being able to have each other, not even being able to Talk about it. its a secret, and painful one but its beautiful while you have it. Conclusion alright!!! thank you so so much if you read all the way through that i Know it was long i Know it was a lot of repetition but i wanted to make my point. pencey prep has very big gay themes in their music. with forbidden love, letting go, heartbreak, keeping secrets, toxic realtionships. which none of it is gay on its own but in the context of: almost none of the songs having clear gender indicators and always speaking really vaguely about the subject and Eight Grade the “nail in the coffin song” you can see my point thank you and goodnight.

[merlin55]

hello my 3 followers and welcome to my deranged rant about episode 3 of the loki show in which i will nitpick every single inconsistency and try to prove that loki had some big fucking scheme going on in this episode because i cant accept the fact that this show i like might just have a badly written episode

spoilers ahead obviously

we specifically see loki researching apocalypses in the previous episode. now to be fair he was supposed to be researching EARTH apocalypses but when has he ever followed directions. how very convenient (well, inconvenient i guess) that not only does he “accidentally” teleport himself and sylvie into an apocalypse, but one that sylvie describes as “one of the worst” with “no survivors.” 

my GENIUS big-brained friend pointed out that loki and sylvie had a whole conversation about not sleeping in front of people they can’t trust and then. SHE FELL ASLEEP IN FRONT OF HIM??? so its entirely possible that this is where the real fuckery begins

so she wakes up to see that loki is super drunk, but hes also like. changed clothes? and he didn’t change clothes into his usual loki outfit he changed back into the jacket with a big fucking orange variant written on the back of it. WHY would he do that unless he was purposefully trying to attract attention? like what reason did he have to change from his guard clothes. i get that he was supposed to be drunk but it seems super out of character for him? usually whenever he’s acting crazy its to prove a point (pompeii) or he’s trying to manipulate someone. ALSO his whole conversation with her about love and daggers seemed really weird, like why are you even having this conversation unless youre trying to get her to open up and reveal some info or plan? 

AND THEN. the fucking guard asks for his ticket. and instead of like. CONJURING THE ILLUSION OF ANYTHING REMOTELY TICKET-LIKE. He just conjures some fireworks??? like hewwo?? you just showed you can conjure shit so why not conjure a ticket??? and also that scene where he throws the dagger but it misses and she says “terrible aim” does he really have terrible aim or is he purposefully throwing the fight so he cant pretend like the tempad was fucked up.

oh yeah and the TEMPAD. HOW did the tempad get fucked up i thought he was hiding it using his magic its not like it was in his goddamn POCKET right?? like he was able to keep the tesseract intact in that scene with thanos so THAT doesn’t make much sense. also the fact that sylvie is quite understandably upset about their only form of transportation off this planet being destroyed and he just doesnt seem to care. like yeah hes the god of mischief but youd think he has SOME kind of self preservation instinct.

AND. THAT FUCKING SCENE. wehre he like. reverses the building or whatever??? where the fuck did he pull THAT power from? his ass? kind of seems like a power that he could’ve used MANY other times in the episode to save them. some people are saying he was using the time stone UM. that ALSO couldve been useful plenty of times before if he were actually trying to get them to safety.

it kind of seems to me like hes pretending the tempad is broken so that sylvie thinks shes well and truly fucked and then shes more likely to just reveal all her plans and info to him. cause he keeps repeating over and over again about how nothing matters when its the end of the world so maybe hes hoping shell just tell him everything if she thinks theyre going to die. also i just dont see another way out of this situation unless its a scheme like. tempad broken. ark fucked. and theyre in an apocalypse the tva cant track them.

and my FINAL piece of evidence is that in the description of the episode they talk about how lokis plan is different from sylvies but then in the episode he doesnt seem to actually HAVE a plan he just kind of bumbles around like a fool unless. acting like a fool actually WAS his plan.

in conclusion yes i am deranged and this is all probably going to be disproven in the next episode

[theuniversitychallengereview]

UC 50.33 - Durham vs Imperial

I’m going to start this post of with a shout-out. Usually I save the advertisement and self-promotion for the end, and the start is like hotel bedisde tables used to be before the ubiquity of the one-charge-a-day smartphone - completely free of plugs (I’m workshopping a stand-up routine about this. *Michael McIntyre voice* “D’you remember when hotel rooms had no sockets for charging your phone. You’d be checking Twitter while falling asleep but you’d be dangling face-first out the bed like a deranged sloth. Very difficult to get to sleep at a 45 degree angle in the wrong direction”).

But this plug is something a little bit different, and as such it gets top billing. I have mentioned the game #UniversityChallenge Klaxon on here before, along with the sister podcast ‘Enjoyably Futile’. Well, reader, you’ve got yourselves a crossover episode.

Andy Keegan, host of both the game and podcast, was nice enough to have me on last week and we discussed the past few episodes of The Challenge, along with my historic forays into the world of TV quizzing. If you have a strange sense of what I sound like and don’t want that spoiled then probably avoid, but otherwise, give it a listen! I had a blast recording it and hopefully at least some of that transfers itself into the audio experience. 

Here’s a link to the episode and you can follow Andy @andykeegan or @enjoyablyfutile over on Twitter. 

Anyway, thus ends the plug, and we can move onto tonight’s episode. Here’s your first starter for ten...

Both of these teams have won and lost a quarter-final match already, so the victors of this contest will make it through to the semis to join Warwick and Balliol. Durham are looking to make it to that stage for the third time in a row while Imperial are hoping that they can do what no one has done since 2013 and retain the title that their erstwhile colleagues won so impressively last year. 

The Imperial captain has arguably been the best player of the restarted series, coming back after lockdown had delayed the second round of recordings with greatly improved knowledge and buzzer speed. Four impressive performances culminated in him running riot against King’s last time out.

Cryptically, he posted a tweet before the match saying that ‘people who think that I'm carrying the Imperial team are either going to look very smart or very dumb next week...’. This echoes a tweet made by Brandon last year before the final, in which his teammates had crushed it on their way to victory. One thinks it would be a dick-move to copy this tweet if he means the opposite to his fellow Imperialites.

Durham, meanwhile, have blown a bit hot and cold in the quarter finals, with a solid win over Strathclyde followed by a limp loss to Balliol. However, last week I said I thought Strathclyde had no chance against Birkbeck and look how that turned out, so I don’t think I’m going to try and call this one either way. There have been plenty of tight matches this series, that could have gone either way, and I think this might be one of them

Off we go, and both sides miss Iris Murdoch’s definition of Love. Kohn, wearing an excellent wasitcoat, gets us back on track with the second starter, and Imperial grab a couple of bonuses to open up a twenty point lead. This is quickly halved as Wilkening gets Durham into the game. A fun bonus set on the monarchs who were reigning in the years of various ratios from the field of sub-atomic physics. 

A neg from Kohn then allowed Wilkening in to pick up his second, and now Durham had the lead. A guess of Kant from Regan extended this next time around, but they could only manage a single bonus again.

Wong stopped the mini-rot for Imperial with the first picture starter, and Rahman grins as he pronounces Uranus on the next ten-pointer, having beaten Kohn to the buzzer. They struggle on the bonuses, and at this point have answered the same number of starters as they have bonus questions correctly. This changes quickly, as they grabbed a full set off the back of another Wong buzz. They have the lead now.

Marrow takes her first of the evening, meaning that all of Imperial’s four players have answered at least one starter question correctly. Kohn’s prophecy is coming true. Marrow beams her face off (like Rey when she realises she’s on the Millennium Falcon with Han Solo in The Force Awakens. A very specific reference I know, but there are definite Daisy Ridley vibes) when she gives her answer, starch, which is delightful to watch. I dont know if she’s so happy simply because she got the answer right, or if she’s laughing at the irony of her, Marrow, a non-starchy vegetable, giving starch as an answer. Based on the smile she has when giving Buttercup correctly later on, I think its the former.

The music round goes the way Imperial as well, and they appear to be taking control of the game. Kohn gives Faure for one of the bonuses so quickly that Paxman just stops and admires his gumption for a few seconds, grinning. He jumps the gun on the second picture starter though, buzzing in before, it seems, he’s decided on an answer. The one he gives is wrong, and Durham pick it up. They manage to close the gap to 40 points.

A physics starter is then left dangling for quite a while. Marrow, Rahman and Parkinson all study the subject, and it is Rahman who manages to dredge the required knowledge up the quickest. Had Parkinson managed to get this, Durham may have had a chance, but Imperial run away with it once again.

Kohn starts firing out the answers to the bonus questions so rapidly that the show almost becomes the opposite of that Two Ronnies Mastermind sketch where they answer the previous question, and when the gong comes they have managed to double their opponents’ score.

Final Score: Durham 100 - 200 Imperial

A close match at the start, which threatened to be so again towards the end, but a blitz from Imperial resulted in their second dominant win in a row.

Commiserations to Durham, who certainly played their part today. And Kohn was right, his teammates did help him out, but my jove he didn’t half help them too.

Now for the end-of-blog plugs. If you liked reading this then I have a Patreon where you can get Retro Reviews of the 2015/16 series. I’ve actually got the next post locked and loaded for release this week, along with a review of a book written by our very own Jeremy Paxman. You can sign up for as little as £1/month.

https://www.patreon.com/user?u=16447756&fan_landing=true

And while we’re at it, I may as well plug my appearance on the Enjoyably Futile Podcast a second time. You can listen to that here. 

Phew, its like an extension cable with too small an amperage in here - overloaded with plugs...

Thanks for reading, I’ll see you next time.

[liveonmtv]

cash machine || kth

pairing: kim taehyung/f!reader genre: fluff & humor. crack actually. crack cocaine. word count: 11.1k warnings: strong language, drinking, an unwated kiss (not from tae), unsanitary jokes (i’m immature), implied sex, vomiting extra: (fr)enemies to lovers, road trip au, rich kids au but it’s barely there also they’re on summer vacation, also this story takes place in the usa JUST to drag the trip out tbh

summary: Jungkook and Seokjin get a little problematic, you have anger issues and Taehyung is under the impression that he killed a man. Also, did you mention that you’re on your way to your unfunny cousin’s wedding? Go on a road trip from Missouri to Las Vegas and you’ll be in for a hilarious yet scary experience! 

a/n: hi! i’m just starting this account out, so reblogging would mean a lot to me. i’m a novice to writing, so criticism is welcome as long as you’re not rude about it. have fun reading (i hope)! i also have a jungkook fic planned next (:

song

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Jungkook has that look in his face, the one he makes where the person sitting opposite of him is about as depraved as he is. He’s given it to you while you were explaining to him how to scam desperate men under the preface of a faux premium Snapchat and he’s given it to Jimin when they were finishing their high school careers and decided to release grasshoppers in the principal’s office. 

However, if there’s one person that’s about as fucked up in the head as he is, it’s Seokjin. The man also suffers from SMSTS as well (Serious Misconception of Sexual Tension Syndrome, and yes, that’s quite a lot of s’s), which doesn’t hurt given the current affairs. 

While Jungkook is aware that Jimin and Hoseok are always up for a bit of mischief, he has ruled them both out as incompetents and moved on to the real deal. Jimin has these rare moments of sanity and Hoseok, as your most loyal little bitchboy, would probably tattle the situation with made-up details to you before the plan is even set in action. 

So, Seokjin it is. 

The story begins in a faraway land before Jungkook knew about the tragic facets of your family’s relationships. Though his friend group is on good terms with your siblings and your other close relatives are aware of their existence and somehow only have good things to say about them, he never thought they’d be invited to your cousin’s wedding. To be fair, you had to do some serious persuasion for your family to allow you to invite six more people to somebody else’s wedding so there’s that factor contributing, but still, the offer is out of the blue.

Somewhere along the way, you went on a tangent about how much you hate your cousin and how your aunt doesn’t have eyebrows and how bothersome it is to look at her face. Your horror stories were mostly you just being your usual dramatic self, but they also revealed that the [L/n]s aren’t what they appear to be. 

You begged and begged for them to accept the invitations, and though Namjoon and Yoongi, unfortunately, couldn’t make it, the others agreed. 

Then arose the problem of the sixth spot that couldn’t be filled. You would’ve just let it be but your parents insisted that if you’re going to ask for something, you should fulfill it until the end. It was Namjoon you’d asked to come first, but he was busy with visiting family back in Seoul, and Yoongi then declared that he didn’t feel like humoring you this once. And that was the exact moment Jungkook decided to strike.

“You want to play matchmaker?” Jin asks. And though he looks almost skeptical, his tone is definitely an excited one. “With [Y/n] and Tae, of all people?” 

“Well yes, think about it logically,” he explains as he is about to say something completely illogical. “She has that sixth spot to fill, she has no other friends and they’re perfect for each other. All the other shit we’re gonna pull is just for fun, though.”  

Jin laughs an evil laugh, always one to be up for evil schemes. Just another evil day in the evil life of Kim Seokjin. “Well, [Y/n] is Tae’s perfect mean girl. And that girl needs either therapy or to get laid, but like, same.” 

“See? You get me.”

“To be fair, I think that goes for all of us. No offense.” 

“None taken,” Jungkook agrees. “Anyways, I was thinking of a… road trip.” 

“Well you didn’t have to be so dramatic about it, this isn’t The Godfather. Though I do feel like I’ve definitely got a bit of Michael Corleone in me.” 

Jungkook shrugs his shoulders nonchalantly at the other fiend’s remark. “You can pray to god all you want. Here in these streets, the only thing we believe in is El Chapo.” 

“I— Okay…” 

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[11:05] LeBruh James: wtf is wrong with u

[11:05] LeBruh James: get help seriously

[11:06] jk the slump god: all i said was that u should invite taehyung as the 6th person to ur cussin’s wedding 

[11:06] jk the slump god: overreacting arent we 

[11:10] LeBruh James: what the hell is a cussin bitch im gonna kill u

[11:13] jk the slump god: not like u have anyone else to invite tho 

[11:13] jk the slump god: hes not that bad ur just being urself

[11:14] LeBruh James: ur literally Not helping ur case rn

[09:45] LeBruh James: none of the girls want to gooooo

[09:45] LeBruh James: fine if it has to be taehyung ig ill live w it

[10:30] jk the slump god: great he already said yes

[10:30] jk the slump god: btw we’re gonna go in las vegas at the end of a road trip u in?

[10:33] LeBruh James: HE SAID YES BEFORE I EVEN INVITED HIM…

[10:33] LeBruh James: EYE. OK.

[10:33] LeBruh James: on one hand i kind of dont want to see any of u but if ur all gone i wont have anything to do b4 the wedding so i guess im in by proxy

[10:34] jk the slump god: lovely doing business with u y/n-chan

[10:36] LeBruh James: call me y/n-chan again and I Will Put ur Dick-Chan in a Freezer-sama and then Cut-san it off

[10:39] jk the slump god: i dont think ur using the honorifics correctly tbh..

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“I don’t see how this is a good idea,” you state with a dramatic pout while looking out of the window. Your expression is solemn. 

Taehyung kind of can’t believe that you’re throwing a tantrum just because you had to sit next to him in the three-row SUV, but on the other hand, he’s kind of into it. You’re more appalled by the fact that he’s not as disgusting up close as you’d imagined him to be. Well granted, you’re being immature, but it’s your shtick so they take it with a grain of salt.

“Why’s that?” Jungkook asks obtusely. He ruined your life the moment he started calling you [Y/n]-chan and he has that bad case of crazy eyes he gets sometimes when you look at his reflection in the mirror going on right now. You’d be more understanding of his condition, hadn’t your trip started barely five minutes ago. 

“What do you mean why is that? We’re all unstable backstabbing lunatics, do you think we can survive together for six whole days?! Stranded or even in a hotel? And then the ride back to Springfield?”

“Hotel? You’re funny. It’s always been my dream to sleep in a motel,” Jin pipes up. 

“Seriously? No limo, now this.”

“Hotel, motel, holiday inn,” Hoseok starts singing. Perhaps if it was queen Britney, it would’ve curbed your temper but fate doesn’t seem to be that kind. 

“Hotel, motel, holiday inn! Hotel, motel, holiday inn! Hotel, motel, holiday inn!” 

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“So we’re not going to visit the Grand Canyon?” 

“It’s in Nevada,” Jimin explains. “We don’t have any business there except for going to the wedding. I’d be more down to do it if I wasn’t afraid that one of us, meaning [Y/n], would push one of the others, meaning you, in the gutter.” 

“Just a little visit?” Taehyung is talented at only hearing what he wants to hear. However, that doesn’t make the conversation any more productive.

“Well not to be the acrophobic buzzkill, but why are you so adamant about visiting the Grand Canyon?” This is the first time you’ve directly addressed Taehyung since the beginning of these mind-numbing two hours. Jin, hands still on the wheel, dares to take a peek at Jungkook and smile an asshole-type smile before almost accidentally crashing into a pole. 

“Watch the road!” Hoseok cries out. Everyone else either refuses to acknowledge what just occurred or decides to spare themselves from doing so.

“Jin says that he always wanted to sleep in a motel. I have another dream.” 

“To visit the Grand Canyon?”

“Not exactly. I want to take a shit in there and see if I can hear it splatter. Think that’s possible?”

“Maybe if you angle your butthole the right way—” Jimin’s explanation is cut short.

“Oh my god, you are disgusting. Shut up. I don’t want to hear it.”  

“What did I tell you about El Chapo, [N/n]?” 

“What about El Chapo?”

“Holy shit, I think I’m confusing conversations,” Jungkook admits. Jin offers no more than an eye-roll.

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Tulsa is a dump, really. Unfortunate that you had to make a stop here but also you’re satisfied because your right asscheek feels numb right now. Might have to take Kelly for a walk, though.  

Taehyung stumbles out of the vehicle after you and all six of you seize each other fleetingly before making your way towards the gas station, a tense sort of silence following. You’re first to speak up. “Y’know, I’ve been listening to your voices for so long now that I don’t wanna look at your faces.” 

“This tbh,” Hoseok agrees with your most profound sentiments as per the usual. He’s quick to match your pace, trailing after you like a lost puppy, successfully getting Taehyung out of his way. He puts his arm around your shoulders casually and you give him that sardonic smile that’s only really reserved for him.

“Don’t say tee-bee-aytch out loud. I get humiliation by proxy.” 

Jungkook makes an exaggerated gagging sound before nudging Taehyung subtly enough that Jin is the only one who sees the interaction. Though the eldest had agreed with his deranged idea, there’s one thing that Kook knows that Jin hasn’t come to find out. 

Taehyung has an ongoing problem or maybe he’s a masochist. He’s always been one to internally get attached to these girls who’d never give him the time of day, who can’t stand him at all. The tragedy-comedy that is his best friend’s love life started on a rainy day in second grade when a girl by the name of Seulbi punched him in the face and he was hooked on her for three years after. 

After the infamous Seulbi, came Yeonji from the cheerleading club who blew off his invite to his first-ever party when they were fifteen. She’d called him a loser to his face and he was smitten with her for a while, too. 

And then, you appeared in his life seemingly out of nowhere. Hoseok’s catty best friend with a tongue sharper than her stilettos and lipstick that goes perfectly with her skin tone. 

Of course, he was aware of your existence prior to that accident he calls his first conversation with you—be it from the exciting yet flat-out brain dead antics Hoseok would describe you’d gotten caught up in at the time or from the sound of your heels sinking into the floor promptly before you entered math class.  You were always late but claimed that the teacher should be grateful because you cut in line to arrive at school earlier. You always had one of those shitty overrated pumpkin spice lattes in your manicured hands. 

Simply put, Taehyung likes you. Though after your disastrous first meeting during which, blunt-natured and seemingly lacking a sense of self-preservation, he called you a stuck up moron and you threatened to make an attempt at his life. With your bullheaded nature, things never did solve themselves after that one instance.

It’s not something that he’s expressed outwardly, but Jungkook knows him better than he knows the back of his hand. Unfortunately, he knows you too, even if not as well and he knows how you can’t get a boyfriend because you either scare them away or you find out they’re only after a quick fuck and some money. 

Regardless, Jungkook writes off his inner ramblings as irrelevant before turning to Jin in what could be described as a conspirative manner. While clumsily handing the cashier gas money, he whispers something in the other man’s ear and Jin’s eyes literally twinkle like he’s in a low-budget porno. 

He nods, furiously so, and the cashier simply stares at them like they’re two idiots that somehow merged into one. It’s not a pretty sight. 

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“What? We’re sleeping out here?” Your whining is to be expected by now. Had any of your friends written an actual, physical, list of all the things you’ve complained about so far, it’d probably fill a notebook. Thankfully enough, said list remained as a mental compilation of your not-so-epic moments. “What about the motel?” 

“Oh, so now you want a motel?” Jin quips back with a smirk. “They always come ‘round.” 

Despite his boasting and apparent eagerness to go to a motel, that doesn’t change the fact that you all find yourselves in a campsite. You’re not an outdoor person save for going to parties or on a shopping spree with Hoseok. And well, your surroundings are a bit too green right now.

Taehyung is the next person to speak up, with a tense posture and his arms crossed over his chest, almost defiantly so. “Honestly, if you don’t want to be here, I don’t understand why you keep coming to these things.”

“Well, I don’t understand why I had to invite your dumb ass here either. I guess the inner machinations of my mind are an enigma.” 

“Yeah, I thought Namjoon or Yoongi would be more fitting for your taste of guest,” he says, outright taunting you now, as if to remind you of your failed love rendezvous with your now close friends. 

“Well yeah, but they both denied, so I had to invite you.” 

“Ah,” he gives a slight sigh and you dismiss the sadness you register in his voice as something deserved for annoying you, “that does make more sense. Lucky me, I guess.”

“Awkies,” Jungkook announces as if it’s something that needs to be announced. Hoseok simply shrugs, and though you’re definitely not looking forward to sleeping out in the woods, he seems excited to try something new. 

There’s something hilarious about seeing a bunch of upper-class kids trying to set up tents and start a fire. You’ve converted to the cavemen with Hoseok, seemingly unaware that engaging in a one-sided debate with a bundle of sticks won’t make them randomly engulf in flames while Hoseok is trying out a trick he saw in the movies.

Honestly, it’s enough of a miracle that you actually went out in the woods and helped without tripping your silly ass and getting lost among the catacombs. Granted, Hoseok would’ve been compassionate enough to look for you had you gotten lost, but you probably wouldn’t get over the trauma of being covered in mud. 

Taehyung notices you both struggling. Part of him wants to make amends with you and a bigger part of him wants to leave Jimin to scramble on his own. Not that he’s sadistic or anything, he just likes seeing others suffer sometimes for entertainment purposes. 

Anyways. 

He approaches casually, like the kind of casual where you can tell that the person has an ulterior motive that they don’t want to reveal. Hoseok appears happy to see him, like he’s a savior on a white horse, while you don’t acknowledge him that much except for a sharp question regarding what he wants. 

He greets the older boy with one of these grins you won’t admit you enjoy looking at before roaming through the pockets of his jacket. Now that you’ve noticed him wearing one, you come to the sudden realization that it is getting quite breezy. 

Taehyung has the habit of scrunching his nose when he’s looking for something and then unconsciously smile broadly after succeeding in finding it. You don’t like that you’re aware of that and you especially don’t like that you can pinpoint the repetitive action.

It appears that Taehyung was looking for a lighter, of all things. 

“I thought you quit smoking?” You simply give him an incredulous look. 

He doesn’t grace you with an answer. Though he doesn’t reek of the putrid smell, you’re still hoping that the answer to that question is yes. Instead of soothing your curiosity, however, he uses the lighter to ignite a spark in the firewood and you guess that it’ll have to do.

“Well, that was quite pathetic,” you comment unhelpfully. 

“Better than Hobi’s attempts and uh, whatever the fuck you were doing.” 

Hoseok is enthusiastic to announce that the bonfire’s ready. You watch the clumsily prepped three tents in disinterest, not bothering to defend your attempt at enchantment to him. “Hoseokie, you’re gonna share a tent with me right?” 

“Hoseokie,” Jin repeats, but in good fun, “I thought you were gonna crash with me tonight?”

You roll your eyes before redirecting your gaze towards Jimin and Jungkook. By the guilty smile Jungkook gives you, you can tell he doesn’t plan on letting Jimin out of his clown clutches. You narrow your expression and jut your lip out disapprovingly. 

“Well, Mr. Handsome,” Jin interrupts whatever you have to say with a thank you, “since you and Kook have been jointed by the assholes since we got here, I don’t see what the problem is.” 

“I think you’re just saying that because you don’t wanna sleep with Tae,” Hoseok comments obliviously. 

“What he said. Also, these crackwhores are planning something, and I’m going to find out what.”

“Well, you’re in tough luck because Hoseok promised,” Jin argues, emphasizing the word promise. He has a shit-eating grin on his face and he’s not even denying your accusation. 

Taehyung coughs once. The second time is overkill and sounds even faker than the first one. “Sorry, but if [Y/n] isn’t comfortable sharing the tent with me, it doesn’t really matter what Hoseok promised.” 

You gape at him. This is probably the first intelligent thing that you’ve heard come out of his mouth. You almost reconsider your treatment of him after that, but then you remember that a guy being half-decent isn’t something you’re supposed to celebrate. You suppose that even he looks like a saint compared to some of your exes.

Everyone notices the conflict on your face but doesn’t say anything about it. Jin admits that Taehyung’s right with a wail yet the tension doesn’t dissolve, somehow. You excuse yourself by declaring that you’re going to get the blankets out of the SUV. 

“Damn, that bad huh?” Jungkook laughs. It’s the hyena laugh that kind of doesn’t suit his face but also the one he does when he’s having fun for no good reason. 

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“I heard in the girls’ bathroom once that this girl went on a diet where she only eats bananas for three months. Like, five a day,” you explain while you munch on your banana in front of the bonfire. Needless to say, you’ve come out to be severely underprepared in terms of food on your first day. 

“That sounds like a strategy to make yourself unhinged,” Hoseok retorts. He believes your story but he’s skeptical about that banana business. “I’d never do that.” 

“Me neither. Diets are stupid, anyway, can’t a bitch eat?” 

Jungkook reaches over and high-fives you, looking at you like you’ve just invented air or some shit. “Amen to that sister.” 

“By the way, what’s the plan for tomorrow?” Jimin is the one to speak up this time. 

“I have quite the plan for you, alright,” Jin laughs. His next statement, however, is the embodiment of his immature nature. “But that banana talk had me all distracted.”

Everyone collectively groans. You’re not really sure if what he said would classify as a dad joke at this point; you’re now entering single-and-desperate-dad joke territory. Can’t say that you’d enjoy it coming from someone else, but Jin is Jin.

“Anyways,” he dismisses his previous remark with an easy-going smile and a wave of his hand in thin air, “we’re going to a breakfast place first thing in the morning. By foot.” 

His grin is mischievous. You think this is the worst idea he’s had yet and no one else present seems attracted by the prospect of it either, so you vocally oppose him with a raised brow. “Don’t you realize how likely it is we’ll get lost?” 

“Yeah, I also don’t wanna walk too much.” Hoseok’s always one to back you up.

“Technology doesn’t lie, [Y/n].”

“If technology doesn’t lie how come I had a D on my maths test in junior year when I used Photomath?” 

Hoseok agrees, remembering the incident. That day was truly one of sorrow. 

“Technology only lies if you’re gullible enough,” Jin now changes the narrative. 

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You sneak out of your and Hoseok’s tent with a brief explanation thrown over your shoulder. Something about getting your make-up wipes from the trunk. Hoseok mutters inspiring words of advice—be careful, it’s dark and who knows what animal puke is on the ground—and you stumble your way to the SUV. 

Shoving the keys in the hole proves to be a difficult task, however. You aimlessly jut it in, hoping to hit the correct place by some sort of miracle. This is the moment that you realize that your eyes aren’t so good at adapting to the darkness. 

“Hey, what’re you doing?”

You jump up out of pure reflex. Startled, you whip around with a bemused look on your face. You’re gonna get wrinkles, damn it. 

“Woah, girl jumps in heels,” Taehyung comments dryly. 

“Don’t sneak up on me, you idiot cokehead,” you retort. You’re not sure why you said that. He’s not a cokehead. 

“No, but seriously, what’re you doing?” 

“I’m trying to look for my make-up wipes.” 

Taehyung takes the keys from you. Without half as much fumbling as you’d done previously, he opens the trunk and you proceed with looking through your purse, only to come to the conclusion that you’ve forgotten your make-up lines somewhere. There’s now a new resolve, clear as day in your twisted mind—you have to find the supermarket you passed by on your way here and buy new ones.

“Did you find them?”

“No.” You scoff. An angry thaw and the trunk is now closed. “I’m going to buy some.” 

“Woah, calm down tiger. Can’t you just sleep with it?” 

“No! Do you know how bad that is for your skin?” 

“Well, we could find a river and you could wipe your face with the dirty water.” 

You give him a blank stare, barely suppressing a small giggle. “Do you understand how ridiculous you’re being?” 

“I’m being ridiculous?”

Silence.

“...You’re not planning to go off in the woods during the dawn of asscrack, right?” 

“The what? Yeah.”

Taehyung looks towards your tent only to see that the light is completely shut down. Hoseok must be asleep already. “I’ll go with you.” 

You roll your eyes. “Do whatever you want.” 

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“So, why do you hate your cousin so much?” Taehyung asks abruptly from behind you. 

Most of your walk has been a silent one, so far, except for an occasional grumble from you and an absentminded one-liner from him. There’s also the sound of sticks crumbling under your high-heels that’s slightly irritating. 

“Because she’s unfunny,” you reply seriously.

“You have issues.” This is probably the least significant reason someone has ever hated somebody else for, in the entire history of hatred. Strangely enough, however, Taehyung can’t help finding it endearing how outlandish you can be.

“I’m sorry, I must have Alzheimer’s because I don’t remember asking,” you snap with a roll of your eyes. 

“You know, I have a dog,” he begins dramatically. “And sometimes he shits on the carpet and one time he puked on me, but I still love him very much. He’s gang, you feel?” 

“I don’t see how that helps with my family situation.”

“I never said it’s supposed to help, I just wanted to talk about myself.” He snickers. You’re getting the most violent of urges. 

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Leering over the thin metal fence that looms over an otherwise mundane hill gives you an idea. Down the admittedly high hill, the supermarket is obnoxiously lit up. However, the hideous sight doesn’t deter you—this is what your nirvana looks like in the given moment.

With one bold move, you lift your leg up the fence and Taehyung considers you, your motives and perhaps even your life until now. “What are you doing?” 

“It’ll be faster if I go down the hill.” 

“You’re gonna break your ankles in these shoes,” he rebuts, his voice a tilted monotone. “Also, I can see your underwear like this.” 

“Perveeeeert.” This is your final taunt before you do make it over the short fence and onto the other side. Examining the hill from up close—but not before you roll your miniskirt down—you come to two conclusions. The first one is that it’s quite steep and the second one comes when you’re one step down, that maybe, just maybe, you’re a bit deranged.

With your back turned to him, you don’t get to see Taehyung experiencing the five stages of grief. There’s obvious conflict on his face and to be precise, his current dilemma is between worry for you and a lack of power to stop you. Perhaps had you turned around, you’d find the sight entertaining.

His movements are leisurely once he does get in motion. Taehyung’s plan is to simply help you up now that he noticed that you’re hesitating to go further than you’ve already gone. 

His voice cutting through the night’s silence startles you. “Hey, you really shouldn’t do this.” 

You stumble. 

As tragic as that is, there’s something else to placate you; you’ve never seen Taehyung move so fast. Not even during the blip test in high school. The rest of his actions are less endearing—he throws you over his shoulder carelessly, stumbles onto the sidewalk and drops you like it’s hot. And then your legs are a bit wobbly, but you pretend they aren’t. 

The unnerving silence remains all the way to the supermarket, then back to the campsite and even when Taehyung’s awkwardly using his phone as a flashlight in your face while you remove your make-up. There’s nothing to say, except maybe if he were to ask you a question that’s not to your liking.

(He’s not that bad.)

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Jin is in a hurry, but you’re not sure what for. It’s been practically less than a day since you started this road trip, but it feels longer. You’re conflicted about how to feel regarding that, but even so, Jimin and Hoseok’s enthusiasm is hard to ignore. 

The feline smile on your face drops the moment Jungkook basically drags you out of your tent, bare-faced and severely underdressed. Well, to be honest, you blend in with them just fine, but in your head, you’re severely underdressed. Something more boujee is usually your style, but you realize your predicament won’t magically change the longer you’re walking in what feels like the middle of nowhere. 

Tusla is gross, yes, but maybe Oklahoma is just gross in general. 

When you’re unhappy, you don’t get shy about it—honesty is the best policy, after all. So you’re going on one of those annoying tangents you like to go on like it’s second nature to you. Maybe it is. 

Taehyung drones out whatever it is you’re saying the moment you start talking about a pimple in your nostril that has hair growing out of it. He’s not particularly grossed out by this revelation, rather, he doesn’t like listening to you go on and on about everything you don’t like about yourself. 

“And I couldn’t put on that necklace you got me for my birthday,” you complain before linking your arms with Hoseok’s and feigning a sniff.

“That is pretty horrible,” he hums in agreement. “I think I have a rash on my thigh.” 

“See, if Jungkook wasn’t being horrible I could probably get some kinda product to smear on it.”

Taehyung feigns a loud yawn. Tagging along with you and Hoseok isn’t as tiring as he’d like to make it out to be. 

“What’re you yawning so blatantly for? I hate being interrupted.” You roll your eyes cockily. 

“Sorry, I almost fell asleep during this uninteresting speech of yours.”

You fume again and Hoseok reassures you with something along the lines of don’t worry, [Y/n], it’s very interesting. Then, silence follows. It always seems to end up like this between the two of you. 

“Well, if it helps,” Taehyung starts, tone breezy, “you’re still beautiful.” 

You feel your face heat up. Sure, boys have given you plenty of compliments before—you’re no stranger to it—hot, sexy and maybe pretty on a good day. But beautiful? Especially without any make-up on? This is definitely something new. 

Hoseok smiles. “Yeah, he’s right.” 

You don’t want to admit just how flattered you really are. “Of course I am.”

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You take the first thing you find to your liking once you reach the breakfast place. Actually, it’s more brunch than it is breakfast, but all that walking is making you starve so you don’t feel particularly inclined to be hung up on semantics. 

“It’s on me.” Jungkook sweeps in smoothly, giving you a flashy smile. 

“Fuck off. I’m still mad at you.”

“You might be, but not for long,” he argues with an obnoxious grin on his face. “They call it… The Kook Effect.” 

You shake your head. “I’m pretty sure you just made that up.”

“Yeah? Remember when you won a bet against Jimin and he had to call you Supreme Majesty in freshman year? And then you pretended that he did it out of his own volition.” 

“Oh, I’m not taking this from you and your dead trim.”

“My trim is fine, thanks.”

“Dead trim!” you repeat, almost frantic. You’re so caught up with Jungkook’s dead trim that you don’t notice that Taehyung is giving you a cheesy smile as he buys you your food. He looks like the greasiest gentleman alive when he hands it to you. 

“And what’s that about?”

“In junior year, at summer camp, they took away our phones because someone recorded the instructor jerking off. And then like, blackmailed him.” 

You quirk an eyebrow up at this, unsure what he’s hinting at. “Right.”

“Right. And then they took all of our phones for a month and you started crying about how your life is a living nightmare.” 

“Right…” you trail off, suddenly embarrassed as if that hadn’t happened a whole two years ago. But like, it totally was a big deal! “The no phone rule was the worst. Even worse than the public bathroom rule.”

“I did it. I’m making it up to you,” he explains. 

You feel your mouth twitch into a small smile, one that he hasn’t quite seen on you before. “I forgive you this once, then.” 

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“We’re going to a hotel after sightseeing,” Jin explains. It’s like he’s got everything figured out all by himself and perhaps with the help of Jungkook’s annoying personality. “I arranged the rooms and everything while you were eating.” 

“Quite epic,” Jimin comments absentmindedly. “Wait, rooms? Like, you mean who’s rooming with who?” 

“Yeah, I finished the registration.” He stares directly at you and then Taehyung. “You could switch if you wanted to, it doesn’t really matter.”

You give him a light glare, already having a brief idea of what he’s done, but don’t comment any further. With a sense of deja vu, you speak up again. “What about the motel?” 

“I wasn’t sure if we’re going to be passing by one today, so I thought hey! Better safe than sorry.” 

Everyone nods in half-agreement until Jin speaks up again. “Plus, you guys reek. You should shower. Couldn’t be me.”

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Predictably, Jin did set you and Taehyung up. You can’t tell what kind of game he and Jungkook are playing, however, the poor boy isn’t half as insufferable in your eyes ever since this road trip began, so maybe you should thank them. Still, you don’t trust them—their minds are as twisted as yours.

As the two of you are dragging your luggage towards your shared room, Taehyung reminds you that you’re free to tell him if you don’t want to sleep with him. “I could go to Jungkook’s room or something.”

You find the idea of being alone more unfavorable than you thought you would. Perhaps your high-school, drastically more histrionic, self would’ve found anything more pleasant than sharing a room with Taehyung. You’re a (slightly) changed person now, though. Or at least you’d like to believe you are.

“Let’s put it like this. I hate a lot of things.”

“You don’t need to tell me that, I already know,” he interrupts with a crude giggle. 

“But you’re not one of them,” you admit. 

There’s also the fact that the two of you are blatantly ignoring that you could switch with Jin and sleep with Hoseok instead.

No more words are spoken between the two of you that day. New Mexico isn’t half as bad as Oklahoma was. 

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You wake up before Taehyung does, punctually so. Rolling out of bed, you partly don’t care whether you wake him but at the same time, you try to avoid making too much noise before slipping into the bathroom. Though you’re definitely one to value your beauty sleep, yesterday’s incident left you paranoid over whether Jungkook or Jin would catch you unprepared. 

You go through your routine calmly and by the time Taehyung goes in the bathroom to take a piss, you’re ready to start doing your make-up. You stare at the foundation in your hand but before you can apply it, you hesitate. 

Do I need make-up to be desirable?

Of course, you’re aware that not all women who use make-up are insecure, or that it’s always necessarily toxic for your self-esteem. And you thought that was the case with you as well, but your doubts suggest otherwise. Swiftly, you put all of your stuff away, stick with your trusty lipstick and nothing else. 

“Morning,” he says, groggy still. 

“Morning.” You look over to him from the corner of your eye and he looks kind of dazed. “Jin says we’re staying here until tomorrow morning.” 

“Cool. Hotel’s nice. The scenery too.” 

“I guess.” 

There’s something cripplingly awkward when the two of you aren’t hurling insults at each other, you realize. 

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You’re off somewhere with Hoseok and Jin when Taehyung is hanging out with Jimin and Jungkook. Turns out their room has a nice balcony, and with the others out of the picture, there’s some kind of buzzed chatter about incoherent topics swirling around. 

Jungkook suddenly decides that it’s a good idea to start talking about his sexcapades. Maybe it’s the alcohol or maybe his mind’s slipping. Jimin kind of wants to admit how much he doesn’t care what his friend does outside of watching anime and playing video games, but there’s also a part of him that’s morbidly intrigued by Jungkook’s words. Like a dark spell or something. 

“I wanted to hit it off with [Y/n] in high school,” he admits bluntly.

The other two stare at him.

“Oh really? What made you change your mind?” Jimin asks, now more awake than ever. 

“Dunno. Like, she’s more like, the bitchy rival in rom-coms, not the protagonist. I liked her, but I didn’t think I could handle her,” he admits.

“Once we were clubbing and this guy was messing with me and I complained to her about it,” Jimin begins, leaning into his chair with a fond smile on his face, “and she was all like, I’ll show him. And I was like, what? And she was like, I’ll show him who he’s dealing with. And then I was like, okay, maybe don’t show him that much.” 

The three of them chuckle. Taehyung talks for the first time in a while. “Nah, I agree.”

“You dig it though, right?” 

Jimin gives him a knowing look right after Jungkook shoots his question with a drunken smile. He guesses that since Hoseok isn’t here, he can finally admit it. 

“Yeah. Yeah, I do. But I can’t get things right with her.” 

“What do you mean?”

“It’s like, we’re either fighting or it’s really awkward.” 

“You’re on your own.” Jimin dismisses him with a wave of his hand. “I don’t think she hates you that much. It’s always Taehyung this, Taehyung that.” 

“True,” Jungkook agrees. “Like yes, maybe she’s complaining about you half the time and I know she loves gossiping but I’ve never heard her talk about someone else that much. Except maybe Yoongi. What I’m sayin’ is, you should give it a shot.”

“Why do you guys even fight so much?” Jimin laughs. “Whenever it happens, I like, forget what even happened to lead up to that.” 

“Well, you know me. I’m always too honest for my own good and when I hit her with some snark she starts getting all defensive. I just...” He sounds defeated by the time he’s finished with his explanation. Taehyung’s shoulders visibly slump and his frame slides down the uncomfortable chair. “I just want to get along with her.” 

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The fourth day is the first time you actually aren’t sure where you are. Save for supposedly being close to Nevada by now, you tuned out the rest of Jin’s explanation despite your previous attempts at keeping up with your location. 

Regardless, what’s important is living in the present. And the present for you right now is walking down a nameless street, in a mess of other tourists, with your pants uncomfortably sticking to your ass with sweat. In short, you feel gross. 

Taehyung doesn’t seem to be having the same problem, while you can’t even fake being unfazed. You envy him just the tiniest bit. 

A trashy souvenir shop seems to catch Taehyung’s attention. In the scorching heat and sand-yellow scenery of this town, however, even that seems more appealing. So when he urges you to go with him, you find yourself reluctantly agreeing. 

When you step in, the air conditioning of the otherwise homey shop welcomes you like taking a breather during an overcrowded party. You let an unconscious smile take over your face when you greet the cashier. She’s cute and her adorableness factor only spikes up when she practically beams at the sight of customers. 

“Hi! Please, feel free to look around.” 

“We will,” Taehyung answers offhandedly. Her gaze lingers on him. 

Most of the things don’t interest you. Actually, they’re hideous if you had to be completely honest. He doesn’t seem that enamored by them either, but you can tell he finds more redeeming qualities about them than you do. 

Your eyes almost bulge out of your face when you see the most live-laugh-love-esque decoration to exist. Like something your mom would laugh-react to on Facebook. 

The offender is no more than three inches tall and wide, a ceramic plate with a cartoony burger portrayed on it. It’s holding a flag that says two simple words: “Nice Buns!” 

You can’t tell if it’s the radioactivity of Jungkook’s cooking from earlier or if this thing is what’s making you nauseous. However, food-poisoning or not, you’re quite disgusted by what you’ve just seen. “Oh my god, the caucasity.” 

“Aw, you don’t like it?” Taehyung says with a mocking pout. “I think it’s cute.” 

“What’s wrong with you? It’s corny.”

“No, it isn’t. It might’ve been if it was a corn-dog, though.” 

You heaved an over-dramatic sigh. “You’re saying words that have no positive impact on my life.”

“I think I’ll buy it,” he declares, before checking the price and realizing he hasn’t brought enough money with himself. 

You shake your head. “I’m not gonna be an accomplice to… that.” 

“Well, of course not. This is your Valentine’s present.”

“Go to hell. As if I’d be your Valentine in the first place,” you reply sardonically before pushing him out of the way.  

Taehyung realizes something at that moment. Even outside your evident disinterest in him and his affairs, the two of you are completely incompatible. You, too quick to judge and be offended and him, too quickly to say the first thing on his mind, obviously don’t mesh smoothly. 

Neither of the boyfriends you’ve had that he’s spoken to is anything like him, either. If Namjoon and Yoongi have one thing in common, it’s that they’re both calm, collected and have a good head screwed securely on top of their shoulders. He’s not like that.

Even so, that revelation only makes the concept of being with you more alluring. 

Kim Taehyung is an idiot. But more importantly, with one glance towards the admittedly good-looking cashier making googly eyes at him, Kim Taehyung makes a decision.

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While you’re taking a shit in a nearby cafeteria, you receive a text from Taehyung. This is shocking by itself since despite the two of you having each others’ numbers, you never really text. 

[15:30] pain in the neck: im going on a date w/ the cashier

[15:30] pain in the neck: feel free to leave

[15:45] Princess Complex: i’m just gonna hang with jungkook thank god

Why is your stomach sinking?

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Once you meet up with Jungkook, you explain the situation briefly. He quickly looks you over, confusion evident on his face. “What? On a date?”

“Yeah, he just kinda left me in the toilet,” you confirm with a shrug. “Anyways, where do you wanna go?” 

It’s not like Jungkook is an oblivious idiot with the emotional capacity of your aunt’s mutated sixth toe, even if he may appear to be. But you never thought he’d call you out the moment your overly confident facade starts slipping. His gaze softens. “Are you sure you’re okay with that?” 

He isn’t examining you when he asks. No, he appears to be looking off, somewhere behind you. However, you remain ignorant to that fact. 

“Yes! Why would I care? I’d rather drink toilet water for ten years straight than spend any more time with that moron,” you snap, too worked up for someone who supposedly doesn’t care. 

“Is that how you really feel about Taehyung?”

“Yes! Yes, oh my god, let it go.”

Jungkook makes one more helpless expression, shrugs lightly, and you fail to realize that neither of those gestures is directed at you. “Let’s go to the arcade.”

“I’m not really into video games,” you lie as you run your hand through your hair, “but fine.”

“Hell yeah.”

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When Taehyung goes back to your room in the trashy motel, notably late during the night for a mere first date, the atmosphere is tense. There’s a crease in your brows when you unlock the door and obvious bite marks over your bare lips. He stumbles ahead to enter, but you continue blocking his path with your arms frigidly crossed over your chest.

“You’re late.” 

“And what’s it to you?” He’s never spoken to you so harshly. There are moments where his words bite, but never does he say them with an expression and tone that are so frosty.

“Nothing in particular.” You move out of his way, finally, and he enters. You briefly wonder if he’s had alcohol before you start talking again. “I’ve been stuck in this room for like, an hour because the keys are in me. Waiting for you...”

“Poor you.”

“Excuse me?”

“I heard what you said about me to Jungkook. You know, I’m starting to understand why you scared away all your exes.”

Warth washes over you in waves for a millisecond before it disperses into nothingness, a cold numbness that makes your back shiver. Your gaze on him is empty yet livid at the same time and he cowers under it. You’re not sure if the guilt on his face is a flicker of your imagination or if it’s genuine, but you hope it’s the latter. 

It’s never his words that are a big deal to you. It’s the way he speaks every syllable, so earnestly with truth laced in every letter, that makes you go off the hook. Because deep down, you’re aware that he doesn’t mean to be malicious or to offend, it’s merely him telling his truth.

You grab a few things impulsively with a mundane declaration, before storming off god knows where. “I’m not sleeping here tonight.”

When the door clicks behind your frame, Taehyung backs down and sprawls out across the bed. Truthfully, he regretted his words before he even opened his mouth. But he was so angry, be it with you or with himself.

It just seemed so unfair that you could blow him away time after time and yet, on his date the only thing on his mind was you. The mediocre make-out session and him awkwardly leaving out of nowhere didn’t help, either. And then you had to be so perfect, waiting for him instead of locking his ass out like he thought you would.

It isn’t the girl’s fault she’s raised to be as sweet as sugar while you’re more like citrus. He’s always had a knack for lemons, anyway.

The fact that you spent the rest of the day with Jungkook only aggravates him further, the younger’s words repeating in his head. I tried to hit it off with [Y/n] in high school, or whatever it was that he said exactly. All of this is his own fault, anyway—if he hadn’t been so temperamental, you would’ve stayed with him for the rest of the day.

Taehyung stares at the cheap lights hanging on the ceiling until his eyes hurt that night.

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Half-way through your trek to Hoseok’s room, you crumble. A sob escapes your throat and then another one. After these two instances, your tears don’t cease. 

At first, Jimin is excited to see you at their door but his smile slips the moment he realizes what a bad state you’re in. You’re practically making whale noises while desperately searching for Hoseok. 

“I’ll give you two a moment.” He gives you one final look-over and leaves with a not-so-threatening threat. “Or maybe thirty. You better be smiling and singing Toxic by the time I’m back, [Y/n].”

Hoseok rushes to hug you. “God, girl, what’s wrong?”

“I like Taehyung.” 

“Is that it? You’re a strong girl, y’know, I never pictured you crying over some pretty boy.” 

“No. I’m crying because I’ve liked him all this fucking time and I tried to run away from him because I’m scared. And he said the most horrible thing to me,” you explain as you bury yourself deeper into his embrace. “That’s why I’m crying.”

“I hope he isn’t allergic to hands, because he’s about to catch them. Actually, I hope he is allergic.” Hoseok isn’t one to ask about details. He lets you get it out of your system, makes a few promises (most often of violence) and then allows you to elaborate if you wish to do so.

You laugh, but it turns into choking considering how much snot you have running down your face by now. “He said that he understands why my exes run away from me. I mean, I— I said something rude about him first, but Jungkook was backing me into a corner and I didn’t know he would even find out about it, I just—”

“Forget about him, forget about Jungkook, everyone. Tonight is for Britney,” Hoseok commands more than he asks you.

You smile sadly at him before uselessly wiping your tears away and giggling like you’re on the brink of losing your mind. Perhaps you are.

“My 45-carat booger. Hey, let’s make Jimin do the chicken dance,” Hoseok starts off like he’s coddling you in his strange way of doing so, but then quickly turns diabolical. He throws some tissues at you and you accept them. If there’s one thing you’re truly grateful for, it’d be your best friend.

You nod, suddenly more excited than you should be. Hoseok’s right—you don’t need some pretty boy when queen Britney is watching over you.

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The next day, you’re wearing a full-face of make-up, and Taehyung notices it. Hoseok’s driving and you’re in the passenger seat, talking about some nonsense as usually do. The atmosphere is light, with Jimin and Jungkook occasionally joining in your conversation and Jin sleeping with his forehead pressed against the window.

Truth to be told, Taehyung feels like a zombie right now. Pretending that your scuffle with him meant nothing to you only convinces him further how little you care about anything that has to do with him.

“I think we’ll be in Las Vegas soon,” Hoseok announces cheerily.

On one hand, you’re happy to finally be seeing the end of this road trip. Though you’ve technically just been relaxing, you wanted to be done with your cousin’s dumb wedding and go back to spending an average amount of time with your friends. You want to forget how flippant things are between you and Taehyung, your quote-unquote friendship dictated by mood swings rather than actual feelings.

“Fuck yeah! I wanna get drunk in Vegas,” you say with a smirk. “It’s on my bucket list.”

“Really?” 

“Yeah.”

“You want to get drunk everywhere,” Jungkook corrects with a laugh. You can’t help agreeing with him. “And Jin will probably stay in the hotel and play Candy Crush or something.”

“Ew, ew, ew, a fucking millenial,” you exclaim in mock disgust.

“Jin can be a beast if he wants to. Remember when he twerked in front of the whole school on Taehyung’s birthday party?”

“Shit was wild, man.”

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No one except you, Hoseok and Taehyung himself is aware of what transpired yesterday. So Jungkook and Jin are still stubbornly placing the two of you together, yet you’re too powerless to fight it.

The hotel is a fancy one, courtesy of your annoying cousin. She’s been texting you and you sent a short message back to inform her you’ve arrived, but you haven't bothered to deal with her provocations any further. 

After dumping his luggage near his bed, Taehyung was straight out of the room and you started getting ready. And that was that. 

You feel more like yourself when you find the wine hidden in the fridge, a free present from the hotel. Or maybe your cousin’s way of making peace. Ha, as if that’d happen. 

When Taehyung comes back to get dressed, you’re already tipsy and acting like a fool.

“Drinking already?” There are many things that Taehyung wants to say to you. An apology he’s too sober to say and a confession you’re too drunk to hear, to begin with. 

“It’s pre-game,” you explain dizzily. “You know. I never told you why I hate my cousin so much. She used to bully me and she stole my first boyfriend from me. And we never got past it.”

With your trademark look, high-heels, acrylics, a fancy yet revealing dress along with whatever else you consider fashionable at the moment, Taehyung feels familiarity staring at your lopsided smirk. Though he’s gotten glimpses of other sides of you during these past few days, like how you like cuddling during the night, this is the epitome of who you are.

“Yeah,” he replies agreeably, though you’re not sure what for.

“Well, I don’t know about you, but Hoseok is waiting for me. So, this is bye-bye.” 

“See you there.”

“Probably not.” You snicker. Taehyung can tell that you’re still upset with him.

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You’re so wasted that the things happening around you aren’t really making sense anymore. While you and Hoseok were drinking together for a while, at one point Jungkook whisked him away, then there’s a blank in your memory and now you’re here. Alone. And you’ve lost count of how many drinks you’ve had. 

A man, that’s definitely a few years older than you, finally approaches you after observing you from afar. He says some sort of sleazy line—you’re not sure what it is, you’re not really listening—and offers you a drink. 

You consider him. He’s not your type at all and that pornstache isn’t helping his case but, when you look at Taehyung and see him talking and having fun while you’re being an alcoholic by your lonesome and moping about him, you quickly accept his offer. Pornstache or not. 

“Pick anything you’d like, kitten,” he purrs, in an attempt at being seductive. 

“Well first off I’m not a furry so don’t call me that,” you snap with a self-assured grin. And then you start listing off the most expensive drinks on the menu. 

This man is so enamored by you that he buys you all of them. You’re three steps closer to alcohol poisoning when you clumsily stumble onto the dance floor along with him, running your hand over his jaw in what you believe to be a sensual manner. He seems to dig it, but from an outsider’s perspective the two of you look like junkies trying to get off. 

Your experience in the club is romanticized. The dim lights are reminiscent to those few times you’ve gone to a rave and it reeks of alcohol, overpriced perfumes and sweat. You and your nameless pathetic fan mingle with the grinding crowd and begin imitating them. 

As the poet Lady Gaga once said, “redlight pornographic dance fight”. 

The act itself is indifferent to you. From across the room, Taehyung locks eyes with you and you’re not really sure why but you feel this sudden need to provoke him, even when you know he most likely wouldn’t care. You sloppily kiss your suitor’s cheek while looking at him intensely from across the room. A red trail from your wet lips makes its way down his face.

For the sake of pettiness, you might’ve gone further—I mean, you were already playing some weird game of tug-and-war but with clothes—but you don’t want to know the feeling of this guy’s lips against yours. He finds the mostly innocent action as an invitation, though, and abruptly halts your staring contest with Taehyung by forcing you into a greedy kiss.

Pushing him away, you give him a pointed stare and rejection is clear on his face. “Excuse me…” 

He’s a terrible kisser. 

Pushing through everyone that’s in your way, you make your escape through the first door you find. In your intoxicated parade, you fail to make sense of the words ‘CLOSED’ that are so blatantly taped over the entrance. So, you find yourself in front of a swimming pool. 

The cold breeze outside prickles at your skin unpleasantly, and a quick look around tells you that there’s no one around to put this in their cringe compilation. Apparently more disgusted than you’d initially thought, you puke your guts out in front of the pool. Now light-headed and somehow empty, you stare at your vomit and take a deep breath. 

“Hey, why’d you run away?” Your suitor from earlier appears to have followed you outside. You stare at your feet—doesn’t he understand that you wanted to get away from him?

“You’re a bad kisser,” you say bluntly after getting over your little trance. 

“Give me a chance to change your mind then,” he offers smugly, taking menacing steps towards you. You move away instinctively before you’re quickly backed into a wall, with his two hands trapping you in between. 

Your eyes widen with fear and you sink into yourself. If you had anything else to puke out, you’re sure you would’ve done so at this point. “I have sharp nails and I’m not afraid to use them.”

“Oh, she bites-”

The events that play out next happen so slowly, you’re not sure why you’re surprised. Taehyung appears, and you do see him in your peripheral vision, stares for a bit before knocking the guy out with a punch to his temple. He falls unconscious on the ground.

“Oh god, did I kill him?” he asks, a vacant look on his face. He imagined his first kill to be more thrilling, but on second thought, he’s not sure why he was thinking about that without being under the influence of substances in the first place. 

“I’d be happy if he’s dead, if that helps,” you comment dryly. 

“Do we dump the body in the pool or what?”

The two of you are drunk enough to consider it. Your mind is blank for a bit, before you finally speak up. “I’m trying to think of what I saw on How To Get Away With Murder, but it’s not coming to me. But like, on Blacklisted, there was this guy who like, made the corpses turn to gas or something!”

“You watch too much TV. Also, I’m pretty sure it’s called The Blacklist.”

“Whatever. Do you know how to do that?”

“No.”

“Hey, what’s going on here?” A new voice cuts in.

“You better come up with something convincing or we’ll have to kill him too,” you urge.

“Did you say something?”

“No.”

“Umm, awkward believe it yeah,” Taehyung begins, a strong start. “This guy slipped on her puke and hit his head. And he has a concussion now.”

“Man, that sucks,” the guy says. You’re relieved that he’s as trashed as he is, otherwise the situation would’ve went really badly, considering how Taehyung straight-up lied to his face. “I’ll go call someone over ‘ere.”

Once he’s out of sight, the two of you stare at each other and decide to flee the country. But then change the plan with the more economically-efficient idea to simply leave the club. 

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“Why were you with that guy anyway?” Taehyung asks. Frankly put, neither of you know where you’re going, but you’re boldly leading him through the artificially-lit streets of Las Vegas as if you’re born there. Where you end up is a concern your sober selves of tomorrow should worry about.

“I wanted to make you jealous,” you reply, bold, like everything you do when you’re drunk is. 

“...I don’t get it.”

“You pissed me off so much yesterday. And you made me jealous when you went out with that cashier. But also, you killed a guy for me, so I guess I’m not mad at you anymore.” 

“Well aren’t you high-maintenance,” he retorts sarcastically, gaining what feels like a confidence spurt because of your sudden confession. “You don’t have anything to be jealous of, anyway. The only thing I had on my mind during that stupid fucking date was you.”

You freeze up. You thought that your own attitude was what made any possibility of him returning your feelings seem laughable. Even if it’s drunk blabber, alcohol is an honesty elixir, at least in your case. “Kiss me?” 

He doesn’t need to be told twice, attacking your lips so eagerly you’d consider it funny if you were in a right state of mind. Still, your reciprocation is just as hungry, so maybe you don’t have any room to laugh. He is indulging you, after all.

The wipeout that happened at the club happens again and you’re left to wonder how things escalated. From teeth clashing against each other in pure excitement, you’re left hovering over Taehyung’s form and straddling him unsteadily.

He reaches under your already high dress and the glimpse of your panties seems to excite him. “You have no idea how much I’ve thought about this,” he admits breezily. 

You smile, a teasing one, adjusting yourself better. “You don’t need to be so dramatic about it, it’s just underwear.” 

“Dramatic is how many times I’ve jerked off after we went to the supermarket and you flashed me.”

“Ewwww, we shared a bed like three times, freak,” you scold and he pouts when you distance yourself from him. 

“I was just trying to be funny!”

“Not funny. Didn’t laugh. It’s better when you don’t talk,” you instruct before leaning down again to kiss him. At least he’s having fun with groping whatever he can get his hands on. 

“You’re so annoying it turns me on. Always whining, it drives me nuts how much I really like you.”

You snicker. “Well, I sure am feelin’ the love here.”

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When you wake up, you register three things. Four, actually. First—your left shoe is missing. Second— Taehyung is knocked out cold next to you. Third—you don’t know where you are, except for the fact that there’s a garbage bin next to you. Fourth—your head is throbbing with pain and you’re so sore you’re not sure if you can walk. Needless to say, you had the wild night in Vegas you wished for in your bucket list, and you only half-regret it.

You see your shoe discarded near you and nudge it with your toe for a bit before finally gathering enough power to sit up and put it on. Or so you think, because the moment you’re propped in a standing position, you vomit like you did yesterday. 

Speaking of yesterday, the only thing you remember is that you and Taehyung were convinced that he’s now a murderer on the run, confessing your feelings for each other in an anti-climactic manner and then having like seven rounds of public sex. 

With a recap of yesterday’s events, you digress and put your shoe on before reaching in your purse. Surprisingly, you haven’t been robbed. Fishing your phone out, you come to the conclusion that you’ve been knocked out cold for way too long. 

Hoseok has generously spammed you with seventy texts, but you don’t bother to read them, already assuming that the gist is something about where the fuck you and Taehyung are. Instead, you call him immediately. 

“Hi,” you greet casually.

“[Y/n]! Where the fuck are you and Tae? We were so worried. Jin almost declared you two missing. But on the positive side, Jungkook didn’t care because he got food poisoning yesterday at the club.”

“I don’t know where we are, but he’s with me.”

“What do you mean?!”

“I’ll send you my location. I don’t have money for Uber, love you, kisses and hickeys,” you say in one breathe before hanging up quickly and doing what you said you’d do. 

At first, you thought this road trip was an opportunity for you to grow and mature. However, after yesterday’s shenanigans, you’re almost convinced your sociopathic tendencies are now higher by 5%. 

You start shaking Taehyung until he wakes up and swats your arms away. Now upon closer inspection, while you’re aware that you look bad right now, he’s not looking too hot either. The lipstick marks you had left on his face make it look like you’ve either slobbered all over him or that he’s a vampire, you’re not sure. And you’ve bitten him so much somebody could think he got attacked by a racoon judging solely on those bruises.

You quickly explain the situation to him as you’re fixing up your bra and top. Considering the fact that you were bordering on nip-slip territory, that was your priority. Smoothing your dress is easy enough, but your pantyhose is mysteriously ripped in some incriminating places.

He reaches out, rips out the fake eyelash that was pathetically hanging off the corner of your eye and throws it away. You take care of the other one, wipe off your ruined make-up and then wipe off the lipstick on his face. 

Your head hurts so much that you don’t know what to say to break the silence. Though you also don’t doubt that he’s in the position, and so, for the first time it doesn’t feel awkward between the two of you. 

“Hey, [Y/n], are we like… dating now?”

“I think so? You can be my date to the wedding if you want.” 

A dopey smile takes over his face. You realize you’ve made someone this happy before with merely being yourself. It fills you with a kind of warmth you’ve never felt before.

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“Your cousin won’t stop calling you,” Taehyung emphasizes as you’re pointedly ignoring your ringtone while you get ready. Considering the atrocious state both of you came back in, the process taking longer than usual shouldn’t be a surprise. Especially since you had to take turns for the shower.

Also the part where the two of you got into a fight over who should go in first—your thesis being arguably stronger once you mentioned the mud ingrained in the left sole of your feet—only slowed you down further.

“I know right? Can’t this pregnant moron get a life.”

“No, I think she’s calling you because we’re late to the wedding,” he elaborates. “You should pick up.”

“But I hate her!”

“You can roast her at the wedding and I’ll hype you up if you do what I ask.”

“Oh my god, promise?” 

“Promise.”

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“Look who finally showed up,” your cousin greets you with a tight smile. You can only return the sentiment as Taehyung dumbly trails behind you. 

Well, as much as you don’t like your cousin, the wedding is certainly nice. With a light atmosphere and a fancy ceremony, he can’t pretend he hates it—that much is certain. Though he can also tell that it’s a lot of money wasted on food that doesn’t look appetizing in the slightest the more he examines the buffet.

“I see you’re not wearing the dress I shipped to you. Is it too tight, perhaps?” She’s smiling fakely and sweetly as she waits for your answer to her provocation. Of course it’s too tight; what else could it be when she picked it two sizes smaller than what you usually wear. And she did it on purpose too.

Despite the rather mundane conversation happening, the tension is thick.

“I’m going to be quick. You look like a greasy manatee.” You give her your own uptight smile before strutting away, cueing Taehyung to follow after you.

“Pregnancy-shameeeeed,” he yells out as he offers her finger guns and speed-walks in your direction. 

Once he’s caught up with you, he speaks up again. “I know you could’ve been more brutal than that.”

“Oh please, I’m sophisticated, I’d never engage in some barbaric behavior.”

You both burst out laughing at your blatant lie. 

▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃

“Do you think they’re dating now?” Jin asks, looking at the two of you as you dance and joke around. Though he imagines that you could only be having a deranged conversation, one that isn’t as sweet and lovey-dovey as it might look from an outsider’s perspective, it’s still quite disgusting how smitten Taehyung looks with you. 

“I don’t care,” Jungkook answers. Him saying he doesn’t care is a metaphor for how much he doesn’t care about anything after his food poisoning.

Jimin rolls his eyes. “Oh definitely. I saw them making out near a garbage dumpster when we were driving back to the hotel.”

Seokjin chokes.

[fangirlxwritesx67]

Not Scared (Dean x reader- request)

Tags: fluff, kidnapping, platonic

A/N This was an ask for @werewolfbarbie Their prompt was "Reader gets kidnapped by deranged hunters and Dean has to go on a solo mission to find her. Focus on the friendship." CAN you believe I wrote 2k words without a single smut?

You woke up with a start and opened your eyes. The room you were in was pitch dark and you were lying on a bed tied down with your wrists locked together. Your first instinct was to scream for help. Then you stopped. That's not what Dean would do. You had no idea where you were or who might hear you, friendly or unfriendly and so you waited. You had a throbbing headache that made it difficult to think but gradually you cast your mind back over how you could have possibly gotten into this situation.

You had been hunting with the Winchesters for several months now. It had started when they solved a case on campus at your college, a monster who was preying on the basketball team. One of the young men that had been killed was your roommate's boyfriend. You were there with her when the Winchesters told her the truth about what was going on. You and your roommate stayed with them while they gave the body a hunter's funeral, burning it to prevent anything else from happening. Sam comforted you're crying roommate while you and Dean kept watch.

You were impressed by his stoic compassion as well as his hunting skills, and when he left town you exchange numbers. For a little while you texted back and forth until one day your phone rang.

"Hey," said Dean, "want to go hunting?" Turns out there was a case in your hometown and the Winchesters were hoping that someone with local knowledge could help them out. You joined them on that case and never looked back. Most recently you had been tracking a case of -well at first you thought they were monsters, but the scenes kept turning up signs that hunters had already been there - rock salt, Devil's traps painted on the wall. You couldn't quite figure out what was going on but they always seemed to stay one step ahead of you. Dean, Sam and you had checked into a crummy motel in this crummy little town last night; the boys taking one room and you taking another. Before bed, you slipped out of your room go to the vending machine for a soda. No sooner had you pressed the button then strong hands grabbed you from behind.

"Help," you screamed, just once before a hand slapped over your mouth and you felt a knife at your throat.

"Scream again," said a voice in your ear, "and I'll cut your throat and leave you for those pretty little Winchester boys to find." Then your world went black.

So that's where you were. Kidnapped and tied up by, well, whoever it was that you had been tracking- monsters, hunters, both? Carefully, so as not to upset your pounding head, you turned and looked around the room. The only thing you could see was a tiny sliver of light under the door. You flexed your arms and legs, testing the strength of the bindings. It seems like you were strapped down with wide canvas straps across your hips, chest and feet while your hands were bound together with a piece of rope. You reached as far as you could but couldn't find any hope of freeing yourself. Just then the door opened and you started. A man flicked on a little lamp, and the golden light sent bolts of pain thru your head.

"I thought you were awake," he said. As he drew closer, you could see he was about the same age as the Winchesters. He looked rugged and strong, but an ugly sneer twisted his face. "I'm surprised I didn't hear you screaming."

"I'm not screaming because I'm not scared," you said, even though you were terrified.

"Not scared?" He asked with an evil chuckle. "I've kidnapped you and tied you to a bed in a dark room. How are you not scared?!"

"Dean will come for me," you told him, setting your chin defiantly.

"Yes he will, and that's exactly what we're counting on- Dean Winchester will come for his pretty little toy and then I will have my revenge."

"So this is what this is all about," the pieces started to come together in your head. "All of these killings- it's just been a way to get Dean Winchester's attention?"

The man clenched his fists angrily. "Dean Winchester got my brother killed in a hunt years ago. And damned if I won't have my revenge."

"How do you know it will work?" "Dean Winchester is the best in the business. Trust me, every hunter follows his methods. It was pretty easy to get him interested in monster killings and then I just waited for the right opportunity to snatch you up." "That's a lot of innocent people you killed to get back at one man," you said.

"My brother was innocent too, and because of Dean he's dead." The man turned on his heels and left, slamming the door behind him.

A few minutes later, an older man came in with a plate of food that he set on the floor. He told you he would free your hands and chest so you could eat, as long as you didnt attack him. Seeing as you had little choice, you agreed. Right now you didn't have any strategy for escape. You figured you would find out as much as you could and then before you made your move. And hope that Dean got here soon.

"So is it just you and the angry guy? You asked as you ate. This hunter scoffed.

"He has plenty of reason to be angry and it's none of your business how many of us there are." Still you knew from that answered that it was at least more than two hunters. Your odds weren't great. But then again what had he said? Dean Winchester was the best hunter in the business.

It was hard to tell exactly how long you had been there, especially since you didn't know how long you had been blacked out. You guessed it hadn't been more than a day. But it was hard to say. Eventually the older hunter came back to take your plate. You hated to have to say it but you really really really needed to use the bathroom

"I have to ask," he said. Eventually he came back. "You can go, he said but I'm going to keep your hands tied together in front of you and dont look around or try anything." When he led out out, you blinked in the early evening light. Your instincts had been good about the day. Even with your head down, you could make out enough to see that there were several more people in this hunters pack. When you got back to the room, he commanded you to lay down on the bed and tied you back up.

"I'm not scared," you said "just please leave the light on." He paused then nodded before he shut the door. For one thing you didn't want to be stuck in the dark again. But you also hoped that when Dean came for you, he would see the light under the door and know where to find you.

For what felt like hours, you lay away, unable to do anything but stare at the ceiling. You couldn't get comfortable, of course, and deep down inside, you had to admit that you were scared. What if Dean never found you? What if these hunters grew cruel? What if Dean did make it to you, but was hurt- or worse?? You would have to live knowing that it was your fault.

You couldn't think about Dean, tho, without amazing memories flooding in- all the crazy adventures of the hunters life you shared. He was fiercly protective of his family, but funny and even goofy when he felt safe. And he loved to cook as much as he loved to eat. He was a wonderful man to fight, work and live alongside. Of course, alone in the dark, you did have to admit that you wondered if there would ever be more between you. For everything else, Dean was gorgeous- tall and ripped, with a handsome face. More than once you had wondered what it would be like to feel his pouty lips on yours. Lulled by good memories and sweet dreams, you must have drifted off.

You started awake to the sounds of fighting. Your heart lept with hope and fear. Had Dean come for you? Were things about to get worse- or would you be rescued? You couldn't tell. Finally you decided to take a risk.

"Dean," you shouted, "Dean!"

You heard him shout your name in response and you called back to him.

"I'm here for you; hang on," his voice was deep and he was breathing hard as he fought.

Dean was here! He had found you! But how many men did he have to fight through to get to you?? From the sounds of the fighting, it was several. Suddenly there was a loud crack then silence. You held your breath.

The door creaked open and the soft lamplight illuminated Dean's strong jaw and high cheekbones.

"Dean!" you cried. For just a moment, he sagged against the doorframe with relief, and your name crossed his lips with a sighn. With two long bow-legged strides, he crossed the room to you. His knife made short work of your captivity, and then you were in his arms. You leaned into the comfort of his embrace.

After a moment, Dean gathered himself. "Are you hurt?" He began to pat you down in a methodical way, checking for injury. You shook your head.

"No Dean, they just wanted to use me as bait for you. I'm not hurt at all. I'm just-" suddenly you felt tears in your eyes- "just scared."

"Hey you" said Dean, using one hand to press your forehead to his, "didn't you know I'd come to rescue you?"

You nodded, time seemed to slow in the golden lamplight, just you and Dean in each others arms. For a moment, all you needed was the warm of his body against yours and the comfort of his presence.

After a moment, Dean stood up and held out one hand. Throwing his leather jacket over your shoulders, he warned you not to look as he led you out of the room and eventually, outside.

Once you were in the Impala and headed down the road, you felt some of your tension slide away. The relief brought tears to your eyes again. You had known Dean would come for you.

"Hey," Dean said putting one big hand on your knee, "None of that now. You're okay, and that's what matters. No matter how many deranged hunters I have to fight through, I'll always find you. You know that, right?"

You nodded, wiping away the tears hard. Dean reached for the radio and turned it up. Led Zeppelin, his favorite. He began to sing along, first in that goofy way that never failed to make you giggle. Then his voice grew deeper as he began to really sing, belting out the words in a way you had never heard before.

You reached for Dean's hand. He took it and your fingers laced together on the leather seat of the Impala. You leaned your head back and smiled, in spite of everything. You were with Dean, and you were headed home.

[77uchiha77]

I Want You Back - Damian Wayne Headcanons

Request: Black/Brown!reader hc on Damian being the reader's first love and they break up because Damian's mom intervened and said he would hurt her if they don't split. then the reader tries to make him jealous at school and they end up back together

Warning/note: intended for black/brown!readers :)

This has been sitting in my drafts for a whilleeeee but here you go love! :D

 It was paradise

Truly you felt safe and at home in Damian's arm

Together since the age of 14 to now, you both were always two peas in a pod.

Though you both were only 17, everyone could see that your love was deeper than some infatuation.

 Though busy with his duo life, Damian always found time to be with you

To say you just love him was an understatement

 You were in love with him.

 And he was your first love.

You were at a cafe when Talia confronted you.

Damian only told you about his sometimes deranged mother when you accidentally found a picture of them both

saying just to “stay clear of her.”

"Stay away from my son." You only furrowed your eyebrows as you stared at this woman

 "And you are?" You knew who she was and quite frankly you were a bit scared.

 "You know who I am. You seem like a smart girl. I suggest you do as I say and maybe- just maybe, you won’t get harmed. "

You only nodded looking at the now cold tea sitting in front of you, un-stirred.

Calling Damian, you told him you couldn't be together. He questioned why, and pleaded. Asking if you were saying this against your will and you only responded with

 "Damian, it's for the best."

 Speeding forward it's been 2 weeks and quite frankly, seeing you happy and carefree at school angered him.

as if your 4 year relationship was just some summer love.

He was in love and you just broke his heart.

many people noticed the shift in Damian’s behavior.

Teachers, the janitor, Bruce,

EVERYONE

Now that girls at school knew Damian was available again they flew to his feet

You only watched from a far, jealously spiking.

 From your point of view, it look liked Damian was enjoying the attention but it was the exact opposite.

Damian clenched his jaw at every pathetic attempt at wowing him

You decided if it was so easy for him to get over you, you might as well do the same.

 Damian was a looker. But so were you.

Before you and Damian were together, everyone wanted to be in the perimeter of you

You were the golden girl of Gotham academy.

 Charms like no other, intelligence unbeatable and beauty Damian and others drooled about.

ravishing brown skin

 and the prettiest smile

Eyes glossy like no other

and ugh your wittiness

Damian could go on.

 But enough about you, on to the revenge.

 It was lunch and Damian happened to be sitting near you.

 Making sure Damian was in sight, you flirted with Gotham Academy's star quarterback

But in between your flirtatious looks, he cut you off.

"Hey, no offense, you're hot and all but I don’t want my ass kicked by Damian and the way he’s staring at me is definitely suggesting that."

You glared at him, stomping over to his table.

"What's your problem!?"

 "My problem? If I'm not mistaken, you are the one that broke up with me, out of no where." Damian said stoically

" okay but I had a decent reason behind that."

"What can possibly make-"

" It was to keep you safe."

 Damian looked at you like you grew two heads, a small smile now on his lips.

"From who?"

 "Talia." This was enough to turn his smile into a frown. Damian wasn't scared of her,no. Damian was confused as to why Talia would do such a thing.

Confessing, you told him everything that happened from the day she approached to now.

 "I'll handle that. But are we back together? I am perfectly adequate in protecting you from any and every danger."

 "Damian you are only a high school student, son of Bruce Wayne. You're talking as if you have superpowers or something."

 Damian unfazed look, brought attention to your statement.

From that conversation led to a whole other discussion. One that wasn't said in public.

That day you took in ALOT information, 

Damian finally confessing about his duo life 

but no matter the identity, no matter the mask, Damian was always gonna be your Damian. Your first and last love.