#they don't look it at ALL in that picture though

[romanticinlove]

Your number 1 fan

Summary: During a media interview, Jude is asked about his relationship with you. When it seems like the interviewer is implying something else, Jude has no problem coming to your defense.

word count: 1.4K

a/n: Thank you guys so much for the support! I hope you guys like this one!

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After a game with England, where they won, Jude and some of the other players began to prepare for the post-game interviews. During the game, Jude was able to score a goal and also assist with another. He felt quite proud of his performance and as soon as the final whistle blew, all he could think about was you watching the game. He had hoped that you would've been proud of his performance and how he would call you after he was all done and back in his room. You stayed back in your apartment in Spain while he was completing his duties with the national team.

The two of you had begun dating about a year ago and your relationship went public then too. You weren't particularly famous or anything. You had met Jude one day when your little brother recognized him at a shop. When he got a picture with the footballer, Jude took the opportunity to ask for your phone number. It was honestly out of a movie and you could not believe that this was happening to you. Around this time, there were plenty of dating rumors between Jude and some models going around the internet. You looked at these models are you felt as if though maybe that's who Jude should've been with. He never gave you a reason to feel like he didn't love you. In fact he would probably reassure you about his feelings 100 times a day. Through his words and his actions, all of those insecurities about yourself were put on a pause and you enjoyed your relationship with Jude. People did still try to compare you to other models and how you weren't the traditional wag, but you tried to ignore them and focus of the people who were nice to you and encouraging.

When Jude walked towards the various interviewers, a man who was with ESPN, called Jude over. He walked towards the man and began to set himself up for the interview. He grabbed the mic and smiled as the man.

"Hello Jude I am Manuel Fernandez, with ESPN" The man introduced himself "Tonight you played a very good game, scoring a goal and securing another one through an assist, how doing you feel after a performance like that?"

Jude thought for a second before giving a response. "Well you know it's always a great feeling when you are able to not only win, but also contribute to that win. I think that it's also easy to be able to do something like that when there are so many connections between the team. When you have that type of chemistry on the pitch, it's almost expected that something like this'll happen."

"yes yes, you and the team were certainly connecting with your passes like no other today it was truly something fantastic to watch. Right now, you are the talk of the town, one of the young talents who just has so much to offer, what do you think of the people who are comparing you to other players such as Zidane?"

"Well you know it's always such a special thing to be compared to a player who was so successful in the game and who just had so much to offer. I really do appreciate the people who support me and continue to motivate me. I don't think I quite deserve a comparison such as that one just yet, I think I still have quite a bit of work to do before I can even join a conversation like that. But I am putting the work in not for the comparisons and so that people can talk about me, but for the betterment of myself and to give my team someone who they can rely on while we're playing" Jude smiled and looked over to one of the team mangers who was signaling to end the interview so they could move on. Jude looked back at the interviewer so that he could ask his final question.

"Well those comparisons are coming your way regardless" the interviewer began to laugh before speaking up again "and finally Jude, how will you go out and celebrate a win like this?"

Jude immediately thought of you and got excited because he could mention you in the interview. "Well actually, I am planning on just heading back to my room and calling my girlfriend, who is actually waiting for me back in Spain." Jude was proud oh respond and wanted to leave it at that but the interviewer spoke again.

"Jude you are so young, have you ever thought of going out and experimenting a little. I know that a young handsome lad like yourself could walk down the street and plenty or more beautiful girl would throw themselves at you." The interviewer said this a joking tone, but Jude didn't laugh, He kept a straight face while looking at the man.

"and what does that mean?" Jude was a little angry at the question and did not want to let it go.

"I just mean she is not someone that you should be with, you should be with someone like a model you shouldn't settle for less, at least not her" The man laughed again, and Jude had had enough.

"Listen here you prick, my girlfriend, y/n and I, are very happy together. neither one of our lives is your business, she is beautiful and the only thing I have settled for, is doing an interview with someone like you. Don't ever try to talk about me or her again. You are disgusting and I doubt that you are proud of yourself for asking such a shit question" Jude dropped the mic and immediately left the interview.

When Jude walked into the lock room to change, some of the players noticed that Jude had an angry face on and Trent went over to talk to him.

"alright then, what's got you upset?" The Scouse player asked while sitting next to Judes locker.

"Some dickhead tried to belittle y/n and our relationship during an interview. He's a lowlife" Jude huffed while chasing out of his uniform.

"C'mon man, don't let people like that get you worked up, everyone knows that what you and y/n have is something special, you deserve the best and you have her. People only talk like that when they have nothing else going on in their lives" Trent tried to calm Jude down. It was true. Everyone who was around you guys In your lives loved you two together, and understood that you two were happy, regardless of your career or how you met.

Later than evening, Jude finally got back to his room and gave you a call.

'Hey baby, what're you doing right now" Jude asked you when you answered the phone

"Hello my love, right now I am just tidying up this living room a little bit, I have been neglecting it for a while. But how was your game! I saw that you guys won, congratulations" You spoke through the phone. During times when Jude was away, Hearing your voice was very important to him. He missed you like crazy and this was closet you two could be.

"Well it was good, I did get fouled though and now my knee is hurting a bit since I went down, I might have to go see the trainer tomorrow morning"

"hmm maybe instead of arguing with that guy during your interview, you could've gone and got it checked out" You joked with him. He had forgotten all about that and it hadn't occurred to him hat you might've seen the whole thing go down.

"so you did see that" Jude stated while lying in his bed.

"I did, that guy was an idiot. Why would he ask you something like that in the first place? Obviously I am the best thing that has and will ever happen in your life" You said in a joking tone and begun to laugh

"You can say it as a joke, but it's the truth. You are the best thing that has happened to me. I know people talk all the time, but there is no one I would rather be with. I love you more than anything" Jude said over the phone. You smiled on the other line truly wondering how you got so lucky to be with this man.

" I love you too Jude, more than anything"

"Besides, at least I'd have a girlfriend. I'd be surprised if anyone would even be with a man who looked like him" Jude said with an attitude.

"Oh my goodness, you cannot Jude say that about someone" You laughed out

"it's the truth"

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[baekgufiles]

enha as your bf !

just an assortment of little actions i think they would do if being in a relationship g: fluff p: g.neutral s/o x enha wc: 0.45k

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── LEE HEESEUNG: letting you win at games. don't get me wrong, heeseung can get really, really competitive. but i think he's the type to purposefully commit some "mistakes" to avoid having to deal witha grumpy s/o. "saw that? i just beated your ass. you're not so good anymore, hm?" "you surely did, love"

── PARK JONGSEONG: remember details. i'm so sure this boy would be the sweetest, most carying bf to ever exist. he might even remember things about you you don't even recall yourself "love, what do you think about this one?" "you can't get that ice cream, we boguht it before. you didn't like that it tasted like coffee" "we did?!"

continue under the cut ^^

── SIM JAEYUN: spoil you. honestly i can see pretty much any of them doing this, but with jake it would go to another extreme. i mean, not really a surprise when he has offered to buy designer pieces for engene before. you can only imagine how wild would he take the treats in a couple "babe, i got you a little someth-" "don't you even dare to finish that sentence."

── PARK SUNGHOON: taking pics of you. we all know hoonie loves taking photos, but when i tell you he would have a whole collection! like we are talking albums full of instants, his gallery blowing up and even a freaking hard drive 'cause he would never be able to bring himself to delate a picture of you. "park sunghoon, delete that right now! i look like shit!" "you literally look adorable, i might even have it printed!"

── KIM SUNOO: surprise you. i feel like he would came up with new different things to do on dates every other day, and obviously you would never get tired of him rambling about that new place he wants to try for dinner or that one spot a friend has recommended to him because it’s amazing view “are you all ready now? remember to pack a bathing suit” “what do you mean bathing suit, it’s freaking snowing outside!”

── YANG JUNGWON: cook for you. or well, as least tried. he would be the type to try to express love through little actions, even though it's not of his strongest abilities "how did you even managed to burned down the microwave?" "jay-hyung told me to heat up the sauce" "...baby, you're supposed to pour the sauce out of the can first"

── NISHIMURA RIKI: take care of you. he would get worried sick at the minimum sign of discomfort on your face. however it was the reason, the flu, anxiety creeping in or even the slightest bit of motion sickness he would make sure to help you in any way posible “are you okay?” “the coffee is just too hot. is not that deep, baby”

@ baekgufiles masterlist

[thirstywoso]

Five years down, forever to go // Jessie Fleming x Reader 18+

Synopsis: You and Jessie may be celebrating your fifth anniversary but that doesn't mean the raw attraction has gone

A/N: Please enjoy this as much as I enjoyed writing it

Warnings: 18+ mdni Smut, just pure smut. Light/minimal choking, fingering r receiving and giving, strap on use r receiving, oral r receiving and giving, marking, praise kink, minimal/barely mentioned/implied alcohol usage, implied squirting, finger sucking, semi public, aftercare, I think that's it?

W/C: 3.6k

Five years, five years yourself and Jessie had been together you thought to yourself as you fixed your hair in the hallway mirror waiting for Jessie to appear from your room. You heard a small cough and turned to see a suited up Jessie stood in the door way. Your breath caught in your throat at the sight of her, five years and she still flawed you every time you saw her.

Jessie was wearing black pants, a matching long sleeve shirt that was unbuttoned down to the middle of her chest paired with some white air forces. Her hair was slicked back and she had the biggest grin on her face as she took you all in.

"Are you sure you're still hungry enough to go out?" You laughed turning back towards your own reflection

"Mhmm, why?" Jessie looked at you puzzled

"Because you practically just ate me with your eyes Jess!" You smirk at her through the mirror

"Can you blame me, you look gorgeous tonight babe"

"I could say the same about you but it wouldn't do how good you look justice"

After a few minutes of you both just staring at each other Jessie made a move to get the car keys from the bowl by the door. Making her way to the car she opened the door for you, like she still did after all these years having never once let you open it for yourself.

You got in and drove in relatively comfortable silence, occasionally one of you would steal a glance at the other a few times making eye contact and quickly looking away. You felt like a giddy school girl with a crush on the cutest girl in class.

Once you got to the restaurant you were seated in the usual dimly lit booth in the corner, the same table you sat at the last five years you had been here. It had become tradition that you'd repeat your first date every year sitting at the exact same table, ordering the exact same drinks and the exact same food.

Before long though you found yourself unable to concentrate on the conversation that Jessie was having with you.

"So do you want to go?" Jessie asked picking your hand up from the table

"Huh?"

"I said would you want to go?"

"Go where?" You questioned your eyebrows furrowed together.

"Y/n were you not listening to me? I said it's Niamh's 25th soon and she asked if I'd fly back to London for her party with you. Would you want to go?"

"Oh sorry.. yeah I'd like that" you said after thinking for a second, it wasn't a difficult choice a trip back to England to see one of your good friends with the love of your life. It was practically a no brainer.

Yet within seconds you were distracted again

"Baby what's wrong? You've hardly listened to a word I've said" Jessie stoked her thumb along the back of your hand concerned.

"Nothing Jess"

"It's definitely not nothing, you've been zoning out all evening"

"You're right, I'm so sorry I know tonight is supposed to be special but I just can't help but picture that outfit on our bedroom floor Jessie and it's doing things to me"

Jessie giggled as you kicked her leg under the table

"It's not funny" you whined

"It is too, but you'll have to wait. Let's get through dinner and then we can head home?"

"I'll try" is all you could mutter

A few minutes later and you were trying so hard to keep conversation with Jessie without your thoughts wondering when you felt Jessie's foot grazing along the inside of your thigh under the table.

"Jess don't"

"Don't what baby? I'm not sure I know what you're talking about"

Which earned her a glare from you, that didn't stop the way her foot which was now shoeless making its way up and down your thigh.

Slowly getting closer to where you wanted her most and the inner turmoil you were having debating between grabbing her foot and stopping her or rocking yourself into her was causing sweat to bead along your forehead.

"You've got five seconds to stop before I pull you into that bathroom Jessie" you warned her

"Well you better get ready because I'm not stopping" Jessie tried to call your bluff.

Within seconds you were grabbing her hand and dragging her down the hallway to the bathroom, shoving her into a stall and locking the door behind you.

Your lips found hers in a passionate kiss before she'd even had chance to fully back into the cubicle, cupping her face and tangling your free hand in the curls on the back of her neck you trapped her body against the wall with your own. Deepening the kiss by swiping your tongue against her lower lip begging for entry.

Jessie moaned into your mouth allowing your tongue to slip in and roam around tasting the beer she had been drinking, her legs subconsciously spread and your knee found the place she needed you most.

You tugged lightly at the nape of her neck causing her to groan as her hips lifted looking for the pressure she so badly needed.

You pulled away slightly, lips puffy and red as you looked into her eyes

"You're so fucking gorgeous Jess, you don't understand how bad I need you"

Before Jessie could respond you found the button on her pants looking back up at her and receiving a nod you undone the button your fingers finding their way into her soaked underwear.

"Fuck Jess"

"Shut up y/n/n, it's your fau.." Jessie tried to blame you

but instead of you being the one to shut up it was Jessie as soon as your fingers glided across her slick finding her bundle of nerves. You applied some light pressure earning some whimpers and mumbles from the girl you had in front of you.

You kissed her again swallowing her moans as one hand continued to scratch at the back of her neck the other tracing her folds before slipping a singular digit into her wet heat. Jessie tilted her head back and gave you that look.

Which you knew meant only one thing, she needed more. It didn't take much encouragement before you added a second finger and then a third pumping rhythmically into Jessie as she bit down on your lip grunting as you curled into her.

That's when you heard muffled voices coming towards the bathroom door and stepping inside. The air in the cubicle was stifling and you attempted to move earning a small moan from Jessie. To which you quickly removed your fingers from inside of her to cover her mouth, at the sudden movement your knee brushed against her core causing your fingers to push more tightly against her lips.

After what felt like an eternity you heard footsteps leave the bathroom and you looked back at a panting Jessie who stared back at you, eyes dilated as she opened her mouth and gently took the fingers still covering her into her mouth sucking off her own arousal.

She hummed and hollowed her cheeks as she sucked and swirled her tongue around your digits before releasing them with a pop. A sudden rush of wetness surging to your aching core.

You grabbed Jessie and kissed her almost intoxicating yourself from the taste of herself on her lips. Groaning your fingers found their way back into Jessie's waistband taking mere seconds to find exactly what you were looking for again.

Jessie's pussy swallowed your fingers with ease as you used your hips for leverage and slowly rocked into her. Jessie slammed her head back against the wall riding your fingers as you thrust harder into her your free hand gently squeezing the base of her neck.

Your lips finding their way to where her jaw meets her neck. Gently sucking and soothing the same spot with your tongue, you squeeze a little harder and thrust your fingers deeper than before.

Jessie struggling to keep on her own two feet as you used your own body to pin her up, legs weak you were keeping her from falling to her knees.

After establishing her as your own with the bright red marks along Jessie's neck which would definitely land you in the bad books tomorrow morning when she had to go to training looking like she had been attacked by a vampire. You released her neck after one extra squeeze and whispered in her ear "I'm going to fuck out every last orgasm you have in you tonight"

Jessie closed her eyes and whimpered

"I'm going to make sure everyone knows you're my good girl Jessie, you'll be screaming my name by the end of the night because that's the only word you'll remember" you husked into Jessie's ear your breath gently tickling her skin goosebumps decorating her body.

"Fuck y/n I'm going to cum"

"Not yet baby" you say with a smirk your fingers speeding up.

"Please, I can't hold back much longer y/n/n I need to cum" she looks at you pleading.

Just as her legs start shaking you remove your fingers shoving them into your own mouth and groaning at the taste eyes rolling back.

"Get yourself dressed we are going" you demanded

You walked back to your table and paid for you meal waiting for Jessie to return after freshening herself up.

As soon as you got back home you had Jessie up on the kitchen counter stood between her legs. Lifting her shirt over head and removing her bra before doing the same to yourself. All items of clothing discarded recklessly on the floor.

Your hands came to Jessie's waste slowly stroking up and down before meeting her waste band for the second time that night. Again you looked at her and she nodded. You removed them along with her panties leaving them strewn on the floor with your other garments.

Once naked on the counter in front of you, your eyes raked over her perfect body taking in every curve and every freckle until your eyes became glued to her glistening core. You licked your lips subconsciously which earned a giggle from Jessie.

Which was unwise on her part because you dropped to your knees and grabbed her hips scooting her to the edge before diving into her. Licking broad stripes across her centre to her hooded clit circling it before adventuring back across her folds and dipping into her clenching hole. Tasting her nectar right from the source.

"Fuck" you mumble into her, which earns a smirk from Jessie.

"You taste so fucking good baby, my perfect girl"

Jessie's hips arched off of the counter and bucked into your mouth. Your arm resting over her hips subtly pushing her back down onto the counter.

It wasn't long before you felt her excitement dripping down your chin, you smiled into her as your fingers rubbed loose circles around her clit.

Her hands finding their way into your hair tugging gently at every slight jolt of electricity you sparked inside her.

You worked Jessie back up close to her peak just like before and it didn't take long for her to start begging.

"Please let me cum this time, please baby, I'll do anything for you I just need to cum on that pretty tongue"

You knew this time you couldn't deny her request and were relentless, lips attaching to her clit sucking rhythmically as your fingers entered her once again. Curling deep inside her hitting the spot that made her legs shake.

Within seconds Jessie's hips began stuttering following your mouth and fingers. Head snapping back and white heat filling from the depths of her stomach before flickering across the back of her eyelids. Wet heat gushing from her as you lapped at her. Her toes curling shuddering as she came down.

You gently picked her up from the counter carrying her to your bed placing her down against the pillows. It didn't take long before Jessie got her breath back and recovered from her mind blowing orgasm.

"Take your pants off"

Jessie gave you a look that you knew you were not to mess with and did as you were told

"That's a good girl"

You smiled at her abashedly

"Come here" she motioned to you as she laid back against the pillows. You looked at her confused when it clicked. You kneeled on the bed kissing your way up her body, across her navel and the swell of her breasts along the marks you'd made at the restaurant before placing a quick peck on her lips.

You straddled her chest and her hands guided your hips so you were hovering above her face. Jessie gently lowered you down on to her lips.

Her pretty pink tongue poking out slightly to flick along your clit, you were absolutely soaked at this point. Feeling yourself drip down her tongue your face flushed red with embarrassment.

"You're so hot like this" Jessie praised into your centre, spurring you on.

You ground down harder on Jessie's face as her tongue lapped around your entrance sliding into you as she gripped your hips rocking you back and forth.

Her nose gently bumping against your bud of nerves making you feel so alive like your skin was on fire.

Your head thrown back in pleasure as her fingernails dug into your thighs, the only thing you could focus on was the immense desire that you felt.

"That's my baby, ridding my face like a good girl" Jessie groaned out as your hips fell out of rhythm.

You were embarrassed but her actions and words soon had you cumming down Jessie's throat. You squeezed her hand still entwined with yours before falling next to her on the bed.

Your head rested against her chest as you gently traced shapes along the valley of her breasts. You were deep in thought before Jessie looked down at you.

"Can I fuck you with the strap?"

Your pussy stirred at her words and you nodded your head eagerly.

Jessie jumped up grabbing your strap from the draw, placing it around her hips and securing it making her way back over to you, the mattress sinking under her weight.

You sat perched up on your elbows watching as she got closer.

She kissed you gently pushing you back before mindlessly playing with your throbbing pussy. After awhile of tasting you she brought her hand up to her mouth spitting on her fingers before returning to your opening.

Jessie slowly enter her fingers scissoring them stretching you open, getting you ready. It was then she began stroking the tip of her strap where you needed her. Jessie kissed you gently lacing your fingers together as she pushed in slowly.

With each inch Jessie studied your face to see if there was any discomfort before she bottomed out in you her hips flush with yours. The end of the strap bumping against her own clit.

You squeezed her hand showing her you needed a minute before you allowed her to continue.

Jessie was gentle with you as if you were made of glass. When she was content that you were ready to begin again she slowly slid in and out of you before you groaned in frustration.

"Please Jess, I need more"

With that Jessie's hips snapped into action and she pulled out almost all the way before slamming back inside of you, earning an ear piercing moan that your neighbours definitely heard.

This was all Jessie needed to hear before she flipped you onto your front grabbing your hips and fucking you senseless. Grabbing your hair she pulled you up so you were on all fours your back arched as she ravaged you.

Pulling harder your back pressed flush against her front as she rutted into you over and over again until your vision became blurry.

One of her hands momentarily leaving your waist before a loud crack rang out around the room as her hand landed on your ass.

Satisfied with your reaction she repeated the movement on the other side until your other cheek had an identical hand print.

Listening to you moan and pant mixed with the pleasure the end of the strap gave her made her legs burn, biting your shoulder, closing her eyes and gently urging herself to continue. Her hips smashed into yours with precision, the wet sound of you taking her deeper filling your ears along with how breathy she was.

"I'm so fucking close Jess"

"Fuck"

"Please don't stop"

"Oh godddd Jesss"

You could stop whining as she claimed you.

Flipping you over onto your back again Jessie hunched over you sucking down on your left peak catching the other between her forefinger and thumb tweaking it before releasing your breast with a pop. Bringing you ever closer to the edge before swapping and paying the same attention to your now stiffening right peak.

The cold air meeting the saliva left on your nipples sending a spark between your legs.

"I want to see your face as you cum"

Jessie leaned down capturing your lips, pounding into you as your nails scratched down her back drawing blood and you screamed out. Jessie watched as she ripped another orgasm from deep inside of you. Eyes rolling back mouth hanging open as an ungodly amount of curses spilled from your mouth.

Jessie continued pounding into you as she chased her own orgasm, causing you to become oversensitive. Breathless you couldn't express yourself to Jessie as she too found paradise and fell against you pushing deep inside. As you came down you begged Jessie not to move so that you could regain the feelings in your legs and not become even more sensitive.

After sometime Jessie asked if she could remove herself and you allowed her to. Apologising she threw the strap to the floor before kissing your temple and curling into your side.

Jessie stroked your warm and sweat damp skin as you regained your breath, slowly your panting stopped and you began to reach your regular heart rate.

After a few minutes Jessie removed herself much to your protest.

"Where are you going?"

"I'll be back shortly, just one second"

"One"

"That's more than a second!"

Jessie came back in with a warm wash cloth and washed you gently between the legs before handing you a bottle of water.

"And you said you'd rip every orgasm from me but here we are" Jessie shrugged

Void of much energy you just rolled your eyes at her.

"You want me to go make a snack?" She asked sweetly as if she hadn't just fucked you into another world.

"I'm good but I could do with a shower" you counter

Within seconds she'd swept you off your feet and had you in the shower.

Her hands gently massaging your scalp with your favourite coconut shampoo, nails digging in and your eyes closing with pleasure. Although different from the sexual pleasure moments ago the new action made your heart swell with so much love.

She then lathered your body in soap, running her hands along your curves, the soft flesh of your inner thigh and to the valley of your breasts where you now saw purple bruises forming from the way Jessie had gone to town on them not to long ago.

Once fully lathered and clean she began to rinse the suds from your body, kissing each part as it became clean, first your shoulders, your stomach, your arms, down your legs before a quick kiss to your bikini line and a peck on your lips.

"What did I do to deserve you?" You ask her

"The real question is what did I do to deserve you?" She retorts

After you got out of the shower Jessie dried you off bringing you back into the bedroom handing you a pair of her Canada shorts and her UCLA hoodie before she tucked you in bed grabbing you some hot coco.

Slipping into the bed with you after cleaning up your clothes from the floor and you had finished off your mug of liquid heaven (that was unfortunately not Jessie's) you placed the empty vessel on your nightstand

Turning back over you snuggled into Jessie's side as she read her book, stroking your hair tearing eyes away from her book to smile down at you before reading again.

"What are you reading? Do you think you could read it to me?" You ask her

"It's just a book about photography and how to take the best shot" Jessie tells you

"Sooo I just love listening to you"

"Baby you won't like it"

"I like anything if it's your voice reading it" which was the truth, you found her voice soothing.

She was never one to deny you so you lay there listening to Jessie's soft voice talk to you about aperture and the importance of picking the correct lenses and the rhythmic beat of her heart as you slowly doze off on her.

The last thought you had 'five years down, forever to go'

[inmyloveworld]

through the storm (jake "hangman" seresin x reader

word count: ~0.7k

synposis: hangman's partner has gone mia, and he's prepared to tally whatever's weighing them down.

warnings: vague allusions to depression?

a/n: this is very barely proofread or edited. i haven't had any writing inspo and lost the singular request i got months ago, but i've also been going THROUGH IT. so this is yet another result of my self-indulgence (where hangman is taking the reins!) enjoy :D

Grey skies weren't common in California. The bright sunlight always broke between the clouds cresting overhead. Today, though, the thicket of white above turned the world monochromatic. Jake sighed as he drove, knowing it would only hinder his efforts.

He pulled into the quaint cul-de-sac and parked. One hand swept up the few bags cluttering the passenger seat floor while the other fumbled for his keys and phone. A last ditch effort was made to check his notifications, another soft sigh leaving him as only your picture filled the screen.

Jake swiftly exited his truck. His feet felt light as air trailing the way to your front door. The key you'd given him lifted to unlock it, and was promptly tossed onto the small console table.

"Babe?" he tried calling. The warm timbre of his voice rumbled down the hallway. It muffled against your shut bedroom door, not creaked open as it normally was.

The aviator stopped off in the kitchen to settle the bags and refrigerate the few items that needed it. His heavy footsteps groaned into the hardwood floors, continuing to alert you of his presence. You did nothing to warn him of your own. Jake's frown grew in further realization.

He lifted a wavering hand to the doorknob. Privacy was a value of yours, he knew; part of the reason you had insisted to keep your own place until your rental agreement was to expire. But he also knew when that same valued privacy was a cover for your hyper-independence.

Jake settled on one last warning call, a soft rapping of his knuckles against the wood. "Babe, I'm coming in now."

A thought froze him: he had no idea what he was walking into. He had seen his partner in all kinds of vocal states, overexcitement and fury and even deep despair. The sudden quiet terrified him. How could he soothe a numbness, a void?

He would have to learn on the fly, as it was. No way in hell was he going to let you down now.

Another breath and Jake crossed the threshold of your room. Fern eyes flitted over the dark space to observe its state. The curtains were drawn closed, blocking out the little amount of light the clouds permitted. Everything was in its right place and tidied away, as if you'd spent hours decluttering to try and do the same with your mind.

The only thing in disarray was your queen bed, where you laid in a comforter strewn lump in the center of the mattress. Your breaths were silent, yet rose the bedding up enough to settle the worst of Jake's fears. He shut the door behind him as to not shock you any more than he intended to. Every step he took toward you was careful, still uncertain whether you were aware of him.

Sinking down onto the bed was a gamble Jake took hesitantly. Your face was still hidden beneath the blue fabric, your hair fanning out in messy strands. "Darlin'?" His voice was barely above a hum, but it was enough. You slowly peeked your eyes above the comforter to meet his. Jake greeted you with an award-winning smile, one that always turned your insides to putty. "I've been looking all over for you, darlin'. Really know how to run your cowboy ragged."

Tears lined your eyes at his words, guilt flooding you. "I'm sorry," you croaked. Jake's face immediately fell.

He leaned down to lay at your side, facing you and reaching up to cup your cheeks. "No, no, baby; don't you apologize, okay?" It ached his heart to see you feeling so small. Your vibrancy changed the colors of his life for the better. At present, they were all muddled and shirked away from your own view. Even if Jake couldn't bring those hues back to you himself, he would do everything he could for you while you awaited their return.

Jake thumbed away the few tears that started to roll down your cheeks. "C'mere," he cooed with an arm outstretched. You shuffled towards him in your mess of blankets for him to slide beneath. One arm snaked around your torso, drowning in one of his old tees, while the other cradled your head to his chest.

"There we are," he hummed as your bodies settled into one another. Jake pressed a kiss to your forehead as he felt the damp spots soak into his shirt. "I've got ya now, darlin'. I'll always hold you through the storms." After all, they were much easier to weather together than alone.

🏷️: @avengersfan25, @roosterforme

[coff33andb00ks]

Rule Breaker

max Verstappen x single mom!reader (with logan sargeant)

{masterlist}{prev} {next}

warnings: cursing, minimally proofread, disgusting amount of fluff Summary: Max has it all...right? Besides, he's too busy collecting trophies and completing side quests for anything else. Until... You moved across a whole ass ocean to start over, uprooting you and your son's lives to become social media admin for cars that drive in circles. word count: 4153 auth.note: logan girlies rise up, new banner, also broke this into two parts for reasons, this is a poly fic now and I need to update the summary too don't I spotify: i made a playlist

Kevin sighed heavily, his breath fogging the window. Wiping it away with his hand, he kept staring outside. As though by sheer willpower he could change the weather. "It's rained all day."

Max chuckled, swirling his coffee in his cup. "I know, maate. But it's getting better now, yeah?"

The boy shrugged, turning and jumping down from the sofa. Max knew he had to be bored. There were only so many races and demolition derbies he could put together with the few toy cars he'd brought. The tablet he sometimes played on was charging, and they'd already watched two movies since that morning.

Sighing, Max finished his coffee in one gulp and set his cup down. "Right, come on."

Kevn looked confused, even when Max shrugged on his coat and reached for Kevin's boots. "Where we going?"

"Anywhere but here." Max grinned as the boy rushed to him, nearly falling over as he tried to shove one of his feet into a boot. "We'll go out in the rain, yeah?" he suggested, helping him get his boots on then his raincoat. "It's just a little water."

"Can we splash?" Kevin asked hopefully as he skipped to the stairs.

"Wouldn't be a walk in the rain without a splash," Max promised, picking him up and carrying him until they were outside. Kevin immediately pushed the hood of his coat back, closing his eyes and giggling as the rain landed on his face.

He made sure to get plenty of pictures for y/n of Kevin riding his scooter along the asphalt, and of him trying to jump hard enough to make the puddle water splash above his head. And then he had to do it himself, the boy's childish glee contagious to the point his side ached from laughing. The rain let up and Max knew he had to be ready to go back inside but no, it was time to hunt for wildlife. His shoes squished with water at each step as he held onto Kevin's hand, letting the boy lead him to where they'd spotted groundhogs earlier in the day.

"What if they drowned?" Kevin asked worriedly a few moments later, wringing his small hands and looking down into the flooded hole at the base of the barrier.

"I'm sure they didn't, mate. They're smart, yeah?" Max squatted down, looking at the hole. "They know how to get away from the rain."

"They're on the other side of the wall," a voice said behind them.

Max wanted to be annoyed at the interruption. But Kevin's face lit up at the sound of Logan's voice, and within seconds he was trying to scale the wall.

"I'm too small." Kevin's voice was mournful and accompanied by a world-weary sigh.

"C'mon, I'll hold you up." Logan extended his hands, giving Max a quick nod as he lifted Kevin.

Straightening, Max moved over to peer over the wall, seeing one of the groundhogs creeping away. "See, little mate? They're fine."

Kevin looked and sounded relieved, waving at the animal though it didn't seem to care. "I like animals, Mister Logan."

"Country kid. There's a bunch of geese over on the lake, you wanna go see?" Logan asked.

And he had to tag along. He couldn't just push Kevin into Logan's care, even if the guy was seeing the boy's mom. Kevin chattered nonstop about animals, telling a garbled tale about a goose that had chased him in the park. Squeezing past the turnstile, he waved at the security to indicate the child was with him. Not that he needed to worry, since Kevin already knew the person by name.

"Wow," Kevin breathed in awe as they stepped onto the temporary platform and he saw the dozens of geese gliding over the water.

He looked on as Logan affectionately pushed Kevin's damp hair back from his face, keeping a firm grip on his hand when he walked to the very edge to look down into the water. The breeze sent a chill through him and he worried that Kevin might be cold, too, but didn't want to ruin his fun. Just a few more minutes. It was almost the time y/n had said she'd be done.

"You're good with him," he said to Logan once they were on their way back. He kept his eyes on Kevin, who had gotten back on his scooter and was just ahead, steering so he splashed anyone he passed. But he felt Logan look at him in surprise.

"You think so?" Logan asked.

Max nodded. "He can be a handful, yeah?"

"Yeah, but… He's a good kid." The smile was evident in his voice. "You… You ever think about having kids?"

Only if they looked like… He sighed, nodding. "Sometimes. You?"

"Not really." Logan cleared his throat. "Not until recently."

And now it was time to change the subject. Because—

"You're close with y/n." It wasn't a question.

His stomach twisted. "She's my coworker. An important member of the team."

"Well, yeah, but… You don't watch Checo's kids when they're at the track."

Fucking Americans and their need to point out the obvious. "Okay, so I'm close. I guess I'd consider her a friend." That hurt to say and he didn't want to investigate why. "Why?"

"Maybe you don't know, if you're only – Do you know why she's shy about a relationship?"

Fuck.

"I mean, we've gone out a few times, but." Logan sighed. "I just thought you might know. You're closer to her than anyone else."

"I don't know," Max said, trying his best to not sound annoyed. Watching Kevin, he slowed when the boy stopped to show his scooter off to Oscar. He spotted a Red Bull shirt up ahead and knew it was y/n, was certain when Kevin squealed and took off towards her, leaving Oscar holding his scooter. Stopping, he turned to Logan. "I don't know why, but I think it's because she's a single mom. His dad's not around at all, that's all I know."

Logan nodded. "Thanks, mate."

Max wrinkled his nose. "You've been around Alex and Oscar too much. It sounds weird when you say mate."

"I can't help it," he laughed. "Not enough Americans around here."

"There's a couple," Max said, nodding towards Kevin and y/n, who were slowly heading back towards them. And though it hurt, the words formed in his mouth. And though he didn't want to say them, they came out. "She likes you. Little mate likes you. I think… If you don't push her, it'll work out like it's supposed to."

"Really?" Logan looked over at her, and Max felt the usual bitterness in his chest when he smiled. "Thanks, Max."

It wasn't fair. Max knew that was something that only would be acceptable if Kevin were to say it, because only a three year old could make that statement and not be looked at with disdain. So he kept it to himself, swallowing down the jealousy as Logan moved first, taking up the boy's scooter and meeting y/n and Kevin. He felt unnecessary and wondered why he moved to join them when he could be heading to the motorhome to change his shoes and get ready to go back to the hotel for the night.

She reached out, smiling as she squeezed his arm. "Thanks so much for keeping an eye on him. I can tell he had an amazing time."

Suddenly he didn't feel useless. "We both did, but he was going stir crazy."

"I'm glad you took him out." She looked him up and down while Kevin jumped in a nearby puddle, encouraging Logan to join in. "Did he splash you?"

He looked down and saw the water and bits of mud splashed up his legs. "Ah, a little bit. Then I had to do it myself."

"You did?" she giggled, squeezing his arm again and letting go. "Oh I wish I could have seen that."

"I'll send you the video," he sighed as her hand slid down his arm.

"Mama, gotta pee."

"C'mon, kleine maat." Max reached for him, waving off her insistence that she could do it. "I've got to change anyway. I'll take care of it while you get your stuff packed."

"Thank you, Max," she said softly. "I just need to check in with the other admins about tomorrow then I'll be up."

He nodded, settling Kevin on his hip. The boy wrapped his arms around his neck, head resting on his shoulder as he was carried off. "Toilet then we'll get dry yeah? And—"

"Grote maat?"

"Yeah?"

Kevin sighed and Max wondered if he was just tired. It had been a long day and as far as he knew the boy hadn't had more than a thirty minute nap just after lunch. Or maybe he wasn't sure how to say whatever it was he wanted to say. "Nothin'," he finally mumbled.

"It's something," Max said gently, catching the closing door with one foot and pushing it open so he could enter the motorhome.

"I don't have a daddy," Kevin blurted once they were upstairs and Max was setting him down.

Max blinked, freezing for a few seconds. "Hasn't your mum talked to you about that?"

"No… Yeah. She said…" His face screwed up in thought.

And Max remembered he had to use the toilet. Guiding him into the bathroom, he turned his back to give him privacy, using the time to take off his coat and sodden shoes.

"Laura has a daddy," Kevin announced once he'd flushed.

It took him a couple seconds to remember who Laura was. "Yes… Her dad has the same name as you."

"But he's not my daddy."

"No, he's not," Max sighed. Picking up the discarded raincoat, he threw it over his shoulder and held the boy up at the sink so he could wash his hands. "What did your mum say?"

Kevin drew in a deep breath. "Not everybody gets a mama or a daddy. Some people get both." He shook the water from his hands and stretched to get a paper towel, his expression far too serious for one so young. "I love mama."

Max swallowed the unbidden lump of emotion in his throat. "I know you do, kleine maat. She loves you too."

"Mister Logan likes her."

Max inhaled slowly and let it out even slower. "Yeah, I guess so," he said, setting Kevin down and ushering him from the bathroom. "But that—"

"Do you think he'd be my daddy?"

"I don't—"

"You like mama."

Oh no. No. He had to put a stop to this. "I—"

There was a gentle knock on the door and Max would have gladly kissed whoever was on the other side. "We'll talk later, yeah?" he promised in a rush, moving to wrench open the door and more relieved to see y/n than he should have been.

"Hey," she said, slipping past him. "Alright, doodle bug, let's get ready to go, okay?"

"I'm just gonna… Change," Max said, still numb from Kevin's assertion. Grabbing a clean set of clothes from his suitcase, he carried them into the bathroom and closed the door with a sigh.

Maybe spending so much time with the kid was a bad idea. Obviously he thought that time together equaled a father figure, and since that would never happen, he should pull back. Let her be happy with Logan. Or not. Whichever path she chose wouldn't include him, so there was no need for him to continue to stick around.

He could hear them talking softly, wondered what Kevin was telling her about his afternoon. Wondered what her reaction would be to her son suddenly wanting a father. He had probably brought it up before, so she would just deflect or give him her usual answer, and—

"Max? Have you got his raincoat?"

He blinked, saw the bright blue coat he'd tossed over the sink. "Yeah, sorry. A couple of his cars are in here, too. Just a minute."

"No rush, I'm making him change into dry clothes." Her voice faded as she walked away from the door.

When he came out a few moments later, Kevin was pouting as she worked a comb through his hair. Wordlessly he draped the raincoat over the back of the chair and dropped the cars into Kevin's bag then made sure to give the boy a quick smile while smoothing his own hair.

"Want Mister Max to fix it," Kevin said suddenly and Max grunted in surprise when the boy suddenly bolted towards him.

Y/n shrugged, tossing the comb to him. Sitting back on her heels, she rolled her shoulders then bent to make sure none of Kevin's toys were hiding under the couch.

Kneeling down, Max shared a smile with Kevin and began to gently work the comb through his unruly curls. "Your mum has more experience with this than me," he whispered.

"But she's tired. Work," Kevin whispered back.

He almost laughed, wondering what Kevin considered his own work that day. "Do you know what she does?"

Kevin shrugged. "It's on her phone. Pictures and movies for the online people."

"Bit more than that, but yeah. And she's very good at it," Max promised, focusing on guiding the curls back from the boy's face.

"Can you do it? Or do you just drive?"

So that was what he did. Just drove. "No, I can't do what she does." He felt her watching them and looked over at her. "She's the only one who can do it."

"What are you two talking about?" she asked.

"Taxes!" Kevin answered with a giggle.

Max grinned, shaking his head as he finished combing his hair. Aware of her disbelieving look, he shrugged. "You heard him, we're talking about taxes."

"What about taxes?" She narrowed her eyes.

"They suck," Kevin said with all the certainty only a child could produce.

Max tipped his head. "Exactly."

She snorted, taking the comb and slipping it into her bag. "You're lying but whatever. Let's get your—" She stopped, because Max was already helping Kevin with his raincoat.

"Keep your hood up outside, yeah? You don't want cold ears." Max sat down fully, stretching to get a dry pair of shoes from his suitcase. "Do you need a ride back to the hotel?"

"I was just gonna Uber," she said, zipping up the bag of Kevin's things. "Gotta stop and get some dinner, so—"

"Y/n."

"Hm?" She looked at him as he stood. And sighed. "Okay."

"Okay?"

She nodded. "Okay."

Okay. He cleared his throat and grabbed his jacket. "Unless you and Logan…"

"No." She looked on while he moved to help Kevin with his rain boots. "He's… Got stuff on his mind."

"The car?" Max guessed, seeing her nod. "I don't blame him. It's fucking shit."

"Max!"

"It is," he said with a shrug. "He'd have better luck with a bicycle."

"That might be true, but—"

"He's good," Max told her. "It's not him, it's the team and the cars. They brought him up too soon and when he wasn't immediately amazing they lost faith in him. You can't earn points if the team is constantly shitting on you."

"Max," she hissed.

And he felt himself blush. "Sorry," he mumbled to Kevin.

"Mama says it too," the boy told him.

"The point is—"

"Vowles is stupid, that's what the point is. Instead of supporting his driver he's telling the world he's looking for someone new. He favors Alex, gives him the better car, and leaves Logan to struggle." Max straightened and sighed. "Logan's not perfect on the track, y/n, but he would be improving if his team believed in him and helped him learn."

"I know," she whispered sadly. "He's—" She pressed her lips together. "Are we even supposed to talk about it?"

They probably weren't, but he didn't care. "Doesn't matter. He's what?"

"He's worried about next year. He loves this," she said. "It's what he's worked so hard to get to, and now it's slipping away."

And Max knew she was falling for the American. She, who'd known the man for barely a month, showed more concern for him than the so-called team he drove for. He wondered if Logan had any idea. "I'm sorry," he said softly. When she looked at him doubtfully, he sighed. "I really am, y/n. But we've got more than half the season to go. Don't give up hope, yeah?"

"I'll do my best," she murmured. "I'm sorry, I just—"

"Worry," he finished with a nod. "I know. C'mon, let's go, yeah? Get him some dinner before he falls asleep."

"Not sleepy," Kevin said, ruining the announcement by yawning.

"We were talking about you," Max murmured once they were in the back seat of the car and on their way from the track.

"What?" The fading daylight was just enough for him to see her look over at him.

"Taxes."

"Oh." She chuckled, shifting Kevin in her lap as he leaned against her. "That's what I always tell him when me and Ellie are talking about something I don't want him to know."

"Good idea." He looked down at his phone, replying to the messages he'd been ignoring from his father. "Did you know I just drive?"

"Yeah, you should really start doing Uber," she teased.

He snorted. "Sixty or seventy laps, three hundred kilometers an hour. Practically a Sunday drive in the country."

"Well… Isn't it usually?"

"You're not funny," he muttered, ignoring his fathers lengthy questions about strategy and stats for the weekend and opening his messages with Christian.

"I'm hilarious. You just have no sense of humor."

"The groundhogs at the track are funnier than you – Ay!" he laughed when she shoved his shoulder.

"You're such an ass, Max."

"Y/n," he gasped in mock shock, pointedly looking at Kevin.

Kevin, who was almost asleep.

"Fine, you're such a butt, Max," she corrected.

To his delight, they playfully bickered all the way to the restaurant she'd ordered their dinner from. And from there all the way to the hotel. It was fun and playful, and kept Kevin from falling asleep, and he reveled in making her laugh so hard as they climbed out of the car at the hotel, turning to get Kevin. Max waved her off, holding the boy and pausing to greet some of the fans waiting, ignoring their questions about who Kevin was. He had a sinking feeling that the photos – and movies, as Kevin called them – would be plastered online before he reached the elevator and wondered if he should have let her carry her son inside. But she had to know it would happen, and he could only hope the fans online would be polite.

"Thanks, Max," she said when he carried Max into her hotel room. He opened his mouth to say she was welcome, but she continued, "I don't mean just this. You've done more than anyone would have expected you to for me the past couple days."

While she spoke she unpacked her and Kevin's food, and Max instinctively moved to help Kevin out of his boots and jacket, sending him to the bathroom to wash his hands. "I really don't mind."

"You sure?" she asked, looking up from her phone.

"I like—" he stopped when there was a knock on the open door.

Apparently Logan didn't have too much stuff on his mind. Exchanging a nod in greeting, Max looked away, his lightened mood dimming as y/n spoke to him, insisting he come in and eat, she'd gotten an extra burger. Despite Logan's assertion that he was fine, she had him seated at the small table in no time and Max wondered how it felt, to be fussed over so affectionately. Kevin, even though he was tired, greeted the man with exuberance, and at least he knew what that was like, and wondered if he looked that happy when the boy climbed into his lap.

"I should get going," he said, feeling like a third wheel. Like he was intruding on a private moment.

She looked ready to say he didn't have to, but nodded. "Okay. Thanks again, Max."

"Anytime," he promised.

"How do I look?"

"Amazing."

Y/n huffed. "You didn't look!"

"Sorry!" Ellie turned from the counter and her eyes widened. "Holy shit."

"Too much?" she fretted, tugging at the hem of the black dress. She would swear it had been a few inches longer in the shop.

"What's the end goal for tonight?" her friend asked.

"Dinner?" she answered slowly.

"And what else?"

She sighed. "It's just dinner, El."

Ellie leaned to make sure Kevin wasn't coming into the kitchen and lowered her voice. "Have you slept with him yet?"

"Ellie."

"I'll take that as a no." Ellie nodded. "Then it's perfect."

"What does that mean—"

"He's tall, so put on your highest heels. And since your tits are out and we're not in Carolina, grab my shawl. That blue one, it looks great with your eyes."

"My tits are not out."

"Please, one good sneeze and you'll be flashing him." Ellie smiled knowingly. "It's okay to want to have sex, you know."

Y/n huffed again, reaching to run her hands through her hair but stopping when she remembered how long she'd worked on the simple updo. So she settled for an annoyed gesture. "I know that. I just – He – I'm – El, it's been four years. And last time—"

"Not every guy is a Josh," Ellie said gently. "Give yourself some credit, babes. You were young and a little dumb, and now you're older and wiser."

"I know," she sighed.

"You worry too much. You like Logan, he likes you. He and Kevin like each other. You've been seeing him for over a month now."

Nodding, y/n opened her mouth. But her best friend kept talking.

"He's a good guy. Stop holding him at arm's length."

"But what if—"

"What if you let yourself have a little fun for the first time since you got pregnant with Kev? What if you put yourself first even if it's just for one night? What if you have the best night that makes the four hours of getting ready worth it? What if—"

"Okay, okay, okay! Point made," she said with a groan. "It was three hours."

"You really hate admitting when I'm right." Ellie crossed the small kitchen and hugged her. "You look great, sweetie. He'll drool even more than he already does when he sees you."

"Ew…"

"Fine." Ellie squeezed her tight. "No woman has ever looked more gorgeous than you look tonight, and no woman ever will. Traffic will stop, heads will turn, and everyone who sees you will wish they could be graced with one of your smiles."

"That's better." She laughed softly, hugging her friend back. "Okay, he should be here soon, I've got to get my shoes."

"And the shawl."

And the shawl. By the time she found it in Ellie's closet she was nervous, palms sweating as she fixed it around her shoulders and checked and rechecked and then triple-checked her appearance in the full length mirror. He was there, she could hear him talking to Kevin and she took several calming breaths, jumping when Ellie entered her bedroom.

"Here," her friend said, reaching to slip something into her purse.

"What—"

"Just in case. He is from Florida."

Y/n looked at what she'd dropped inside and slapped her friend's arm. "Ellie."

"Come on, before Kevin gets him to watch Cars again."

Sighing, she nodded and closed her purse after making sure she had everything. Logan was on the sofa with Kevin and her breath caught a little, both at how patiently he was listening to her son 'read' his book and at how handsome he was. She was so used to seeing him dressed casually so each time he wore something other than jeans and a hoodie it was a pleasant surprise.

"You look gorgeous," he said when they were outside. He'd said great upstairs and she still felt the surge of feminine adrenaline over how he'd stared for a full ten seconds before speaking.

"Thank you." His palm burned the small of her back as he guided her to the waiting car, and when he opened the door for her he sighed her name. She wondered if it was a good thing to start a date with a kiss and decided that it was. Because it made her feel gorgeous. Great. Beautiful.

Wanted.

Driving to the restaurant, his hand strayed to her knee and she covered it with hers, meeting his eyes when he stopped the car.

"Are we still figuring it out?" he asked softly, turning his hand and lacing their fingers together.

"I think we already have," she answered, swallowing when his hand squeezed.

Wondering why it wasn't as scary as she'd thought it would be.

Taglist:

@leodette | @trisharee | @littlegrapejuice | @lilypat | @manicpixiemom | @spookystitchery | @halleest | @lyannesworld | @llando4norris | @kravitzwhore | @younxii | @silentreader128 | @samantha-chicago | @mrsbrxkkxr | @cmleitora | @jasons-little-princess | @toldyouitwasamelodrama | @aundercover | @kiwi43-81 | @awritingtree | @voidsfics | @misartymis | @goldenchemistry |

[archangeldyke-all]

No bc I keep thinking of modern Sev trying to get into the dating game because she wants to settle down and she gets on a dating app because Jinx had mentioned in a conversation with Silco and she ends up matching with reader,,, ahh it’s stuck in my brain

i changed this just a bit to make jinx even more of a shithead hehehe i hope u love it

men and minors dni

"aunt sevy." sevika rolls her eyes at the nickname she hates, and looks up from her book at jinx.

the girl's ten years old now, old enough to know just the right buttons to push to annoy sevika. and sevika's stuck on babysitting duty, because she's an idiot and agreed to be the shithead's godmother when jinx was still a harmless, quiet baby.

"what?" she grunts.

"why don't you have a wife?" jinx asks.

sevika groans. "did your dad put you up to this?" she asks. silco's been bothering her about the same thing lately.

"no." she says. "'m jus' wonderin'. when we have birthday parties and stuff, all the adults bring their boyfriends and girlfriends and wives. but you never do. why not?" jinx asks.

sevika tries her best not to kick jinx's shin. she manages, but not without flicking the kid's forehead.

the truth is that sevika's been asking herself the same thing lately. but she's realized that after so many years of emotionless hook-ups, she's got no idea how a relationship would even fucking work, and she's decided it's easier for everyone if she just... doesn't try.

"mind your own buisness." sevika grunts eventually. jinx studies her with those frighteningly inquisitive eyes of hers, before she smirks, turns on her heel, and runs to her room.

sevika's too relieved by jinx's disappearance that she doesn't even consider that the girl could be up to something.

three days later, sevika gets a call from silco at five in the morning.

"do you know what fucking time it is?" she groans into the receiver as she rubs her sleepy eyes.

"i'm sorry."

"what's so fuckin' important that you couldn't wait to tell me at work?" sevika asks.

silco's responding sigh is long enough for sevika's stomach to sink. "you should dress nice today. a suit, maybe, or at least nice slacks and a button up."

"why? do we have a meeting?"

"no." silco says. sevika waits for him to elaborate, but he doesn't. she huffs.

"silco what the fuck is going on?" she asks.

"you have a date tonight."

it's silent for a few moments. sevika tries to remember if she'd drunkinly given out her number to someone, or if silco asked her to butter up a client. she draws a blank. "...i do?" she asks.

silco sighs again. "jinx got the idea in her head that you need a wife, so she made you a dating profile."

"what?!"

"she's been cat fishing some poor person as you, and she's scheduled a date for the two of you tonight at seven."

"she what!?" sevika screams. her neighbor pounds on the wall that they share. sevika pounds right back. "silco, there is no way in hell i'm going on a date jinx set up for me."

"yes, i figured you'd say that." silco sighs. sevika's phone buzzes. "check your messages."

sevika pulls her phone away from her face and checks the new text sent from silco.

she gulps when your picture pops onto her screen.

you're... everything. if sevika was asked to describe her type, she'd have described you to a tee.

silco starts talking on the other line, and sevika blinks down at your picture one last time before pulling it back up to her face.

"fine." sevika grunts. she can hear silco's smile, and she huffs. "shut the fuck up. which suit should i wear?"

silco cackles on the other line.

sevika almost passes out when she meets you in person. you're stunning, and she's nervous, and she knows absolutely nothing about you even though it seems like jinx has told you everything about her.

it's only when you've ordered your dinner and are chatting over bread that sevika finally confesses.

"i have to tell you something." she mutters.

you pause mid-chew, your lame story about a fat squirrel you'd seen earlier today entirely forgotten at the sight of your gorgeous date's grimace. "don't tell me you're straight." you groan.

sevika cackles, and you relax a bit into your seat, smiling as you watch her catch her breath. "no!" she laughs. "god, no." she wipes her eyes. "i am very gay. and i find you..." she trails off, her eyes darting down to your lips for just a flash, before she blinks and shakes her head. "very attractive." she says.

you gulp, ignoring your sudden arousal. "so... what's the problem?" you ask.

sevika sighs and looks down at her hands. "you've been catfished."

you frown. "uh..." you study the woman in front of you. "you are sevika right? i mean... you look just like your pictures..."

sevika chuckles and shakes her head. "yes, that's me in those pictures. but you haven't been talking to me all week."

"so..." you're beyond confused. "who have i been talking to?" you ask.

sevika cringes. "my fucking shithead niece." she says.

relief floods your body. this isn't a scam or a fucked up prank-- it's a real date with a beautiful woman who's looking at you like she's expecting you to throw your glass of wine in her face.

instead, you burst into laughter. "you sound awfully fond of her."

sevika's stiff posture relaxes, and she huffs her own laugh. "she was cute before she could talk." she says, shrugging. you laugh even harder, reaching across the table to take sevika's hand and squeeze it as you try to compose yourself. "but now she's old enough to ask me why i'm still single and work a smartphone..."

"well, that explains why you had so many typos in your texts."

"oh, god." sevika groans.

"you misspelled 'restaurant' like five times."

"it's a hard word." she chuckles.

you pull the gorgeous woman's hand up to kiss her knuckles, and watch in fascination as all her worry and embarrassment melts away. "so." you say.

"so." sevika repeats.

"if you'd like to leave i understand, i won't be offended. i'm not sure i'd be into the dates my little cousins would pick out for me."

"no!" sevika shouts. she cringes as half the restaurant turns to look at her. you giggle. "no, that's not-- i really want to be here. i just-- i just wanted you to know that you weren't talking to me... you were talking to a ten year old."

it's quiet for a minute as you try to wrap your mind around the situation. so you'll have to re-introduce yourself to the woman in front of you-- that's fine. you're looking forward to getting to know her, and it seems like she wants to get to know you too.

you take a sip of your wine, then giggle when a thought occurs to you. "god, i'm so fucking glad i didn't try sexting with you." you say.

sevika bursts into surprised laughter, and she has to pinch herself to keep from launching over the table and kissing you.

(jinx never lets sevika live down the fact that she married the first person she picked out for her aunt.)

(jinx also officiates your wedding.)

taglist!

@fyeahnix @lavendersgirl @half-of-a-gay @thesevi0lentdelights @sexysapphicshopowner

@shimtarofstupidity @chuucanchuucan @badbye666 @femme-historian @lia-winther

@ellsss @sevikaspillowprincess @emiliabby @sevikasbeloved @hellorai

@glass-apothecary @macaroni676 @artinvain @realgreeniebeanie @k3n-dyll

@sevsdollette @ellieslob

[queenpiranhadon]

Hi!! this is my first time asking for a request and I really like your stories and such so could you do Bakugou getting hit by a genderbent quirk and reader has to help him while the quirk wore off?? I hope this maked sense!!

A/N: Where…have you been all my life anon 😭 I'm so honored to be your first request!! You didn’t specify if you wanted x reader or not but wtv we’re doing this anyway >:) Here's the masterlist!

Warning(s): Talk about female anatomy, reader thinks Bakugou is hot as a female (you can interpret that as you wish), Bakugou wears reader’s clothes, AFAB!reader- we're still gonna use he/him pronouns, you two live together, this is REALLY short I'm sorry 😣

Pairing(s): Bakugou Katsuki x Reader

•────•°•❀•°•──── "ʙᴏʏ"ꜰʀɪᴇɴᴅ ────•°•☁︎•°•────•

› I'm gonna do this in a different format because I'm not totally used to the concept of genderbent characters x reader and I don't wanna ruin it with bad writing 😭

› Mk so this is gonna take place when they're older because I feel like reader wouldn't really be tasked with helping him while they're both in high school still.

› But like he'd be furious and super confused because the great Bakugou Katsuki is now a girl.

› Obviously he'd still be super buff and intimidating but I think it would be hilarious if he got significantly shorter after the gender change.

› Like he went from 6'4 5'5 or smthn 😭 poor guy.

› You can bet his normal hero doesn't fit him anymore, so the moment he rushes to your shared home, he doesn't really let you react, and just kinda barges into your room and wears your clothes.

› When he exits, he's red faced, wearing your favorite hoodie and some sweatpants that you have on hand- he's wearing his own boxers underneath but is probably wearing your bra 👀 - you're not sure whether you find it hot or weird.

› And let's make one thing clear- this man's tits are huge- even before he was hit by the quirk they were larger than the average female. You tell him yourself, and can't help but tease him a little - though you stop there because he looks like he's about to combust.

› You don't really mind that fact that your boyfriend is well...not a boy- he's still Katsuki after all, and he's still the same person he was before.

› Though you definitely took some pictures when he fell asleep on your shared bed.

[coolprettyleo]

truth, dare, spin bottle - jack hughes

wc: 2.1k

tw: parties, slight angst, falling, drinking alc, cringe games, hs friends

jack hughes x oc

so highschool au

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

jack watched as marley sat at the corner of the rink fiddling with her camera. it had been two weeks since she started working with the usantdp boys and he was making no progress in the plan of how to get the girl.

he had only managed to awkwardly flirt with her while she stared at him clueless. he was pretty sure she didn't even realize he was flirting.

"you like taking pictures?" he asked the girl as she nodded.

"yeah, it's pretty cool" she mumbled

"you going to the party on friday?" he asked, trying to desperately hold a conversation with the girl.

the thing about marley, though, is that she's never been romantically involved with anyone, ever. so anytime a guy tried to flirt with the girl she would shut down.

"i don't like parties," she said

"have you ever even been to a party?" he asked teasingly as she blushed embarrassed

"i never have time. plus i have a football game that day-"

"it's going to be after, obviously,"

"sorry i rather sleep, to be honest," she said a bit dryly coming across as a bit bitchy but that only made jack want to pursue the girl ten times more,

"well think about it, i'll be there" he said with a charming smile before walking away.

leaving the girl to sit with her own thoughts. she had never been interested in attending any party that consisted of drunk teenagers, but something was screaming at her to go, and she wondered if it had anything to do with the blue-eyed hockey player.

___

marley and her friends sat around the lunch table on friday as brady talked about driving arrangements. usually, the girl would sit quietly and eat her lunch at times like these; her friends knew the girl wouldn't go, but she had considered going.

"where is it at?" she asked curiosuly as her whole table shut up.

"by lowes. why? do you want to go?" oliver said excitedly.

"oh my gosh. it's happening," as her best friends squealed.

"i have a shirt that will make your boobs look awesome"

"i'll bring you some seltzers"

"please let me curl your hair"

"you can come in our car"

her friends let out excitdly. they had been begging the girl to go to a party since they started, and she always shut down any ideas, so when planning to go out, they knew not to ask the girl. so today was a big day for the friend group. their baby was finally growing up in their eyes.

"GUYS!" she raised her voice at her overly excited friends

"i was just wondering," she said as she put a fry in her mouth as they all eyed her suspiciously.

"you never just wonder," oliver pressed.

"one of the hockey guys told me to go-" she said before being cut off by squeals and the guys letting out 'no ways' and snickers. all surprised in their goody tissues friend.

"that makes a lot more sense now," her friend jackie said.

"which one" mary nosily asked looking behind them at the table where the hockey players sat.

"don't make it obvious," she groaned at her friends, who all turned.

"we just need to make sure he's good for you marls" brady told the girl as they let out snickers.

"if I tell you guys, you can't say anything or even look their way," she said as they all put up pinkies.

"I think his name is jack," she said as the girls squealed and the guy's eyes went wide.

"dude your set for life if you get with him"

"he's cute!!"

"he's projected to go number one"

"you have to go tonight"

her friends all flooded her with thoughts she hadn't even thought about. he wasn't inviting her to get with her, right?

"It's not like that. he was just being nice." she calmed her friends down as they all looked at her like she had three heads.

"oh sweet innocent marls, you have so much to learn" marnie said wrapping her arms around marley as the friend group snickered and nodded at the girl.

___

marley walked out of the football game with no intentions of going to that party.

"marley!" she heard and turned to see brady jogging up to her with oliver and garrett in tow.

"we're meeting the girls at jackies to pregame, you're coming with us," garret said

"hell no. my leg hurts so bad, I landed from my toe touch awkwardly," she complained as they rolled their eyes.

"i don't care. you're going tonight." oliver smirked as he gave the guys the go. garret reached for her cheer bag before oliver threw the girl over his shoulder. brady with keys in hand.

"guys don't be annoying" she squealed

"if you don't have fun tonight, we'll never make you go to a party again," brady said as she groaned.

"at least make sure my ass isnt out" she said feeling inscure knowing there was people most likely watching them.

she felt oliver flip her skirt down and hold it as they walked to the car, not knowing the certain boys that were watching.

"are they a thing?" cole asked as jack watched like a kicked puppy

"i didn't think so," he said as trevor patted his back

"that would explain why she wasn't really flirting back with you," he said as jack slightly glared.

"let's just go," he said before driving away.

___

marley walked into the party a bit tipsy. she was already two drinks in with a seltzer in hand as she looked around. it was a shock for the girl to see people she thought she knew making out, hitting vapes, and feeling up on each other at every corner.

she followed her friends deeper into the party as her eyes roamed the party, hoping to find the hockey player who had told her to go. she soon found him surrounded by his friends with a beer in hand, looking as handsome as ever.

instead of going up to him and making her presence known like she thought she would, she hid behind oliver.

"what are you doing?" he laughed at the girl as he followed her line of sight; he truly did see her as a younger sister, and the fact she was so nervous about a boy was so funny to him.

"I'm feeling insecure about being here," she told the boy as he frowned.

"you shouldn't, you're one of the hottest girls in school it's no surprise he has a thing for you," he said as she looked at him odd

"how do you know he has a thing for me?" she pressed as oliver threw his head back and laughed.

"I'm a guy, marls," he said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. she rolled her eyes and took another sip as she went to dance with the girls.

meanwhile, jack was watching the two with a glare,

"do you want me to ask garret if there a thing?" alex asked as he followed his gaze to marley. he was friends with the lacrosse player and he knew he would tell him if he asked.

"i don't think they are" cole said before jack could even respond.

"it's fine guys-"

he was cut off when the guy in question came to dab alex up, going around the group to be polite.

"hey, question, which of the girls in your group is single," he said as he looked at the dancing girls.

"aside from marnie, all of them. except I know jackies seeing one of the football players"

"oh," alex said as jack allowed himself to relax again

"why do you ask?" he said

"thought they were cute," alex tried to to play it off. jack could have sworn he saw garret look at him.

"we're getting bored; we were planning to play spin the bottle upstairs in a bit; you should bring the girls," alex said nonchalantly.

"I'll let them know," garret said before walking off.

___

the upstairs bedroom reeked with beer as marley stood in the corner. when garret asked if they'd be down to play games with the hockey players, her friends were quick to jump at the opportunity.

"whoever the bottle lands on, you have to choose between truth or dare," trevor said, putting the bottle in the middle and spinning it, for it to land on mary.

"truth," she said

"who was your first kiss" trevor smirked.

"austin logan" she said. marley blushed because if she got that question, she would have to voice the fact she's never kissed anyone.

mary spinned the bottle for it to land on the one and only, jack hughes. the girl looked at marley and smirked. as jack mumbled 'truth'.

"whose the hottest girl in this room," she asked the boy who only smirked while looking at marley

"marley love" he said without skipping a beat holding eye contact with the girl as the boys clapped him on the back and let out 'whoops'. the girl blushed crimson red not knowing how to react.

"i'm gonna go refill my drink," she mumbled to her friends before basically speeding out of the room.

leaving everyone to stare at each other. jack felt horrible after seeing the embarrassed look on her face, so when marnie stood up to chase after her, he told her he had it and went after the girl.

"marley!" he said over the music as the girl turned around.

"oh hi jack" she said a bit chirpy

"I'm sorry if I embarrassed you. I do really think you're the hottest girl," he explained as she kept a straight face

"thanks, you are too- well not the hottest girl; but like your cute too not that you arent hot, because you are. but I'm not calling you a girl or anything" she finished with a gulp as he smiled down at the girl. she was tipsy and he could clearly see that.

"yeah?" he said hoping she'd keep rambling. he loved her voice and could listen to it for hours.

"mmhm," she said, looking at his lips, an act that didn't get noticed by jack.

"you wanna go back? or we could go somewhere quieter-" he said hoping this was his moment to make progress.

"actually, if you're not drinking, you think you could take me home?" she asked, feeling like going home.

"completely sober, yeah," he said, flashing the girl his keys as she smiled and went to bid her friends goodbye.

___

the two entered jack's car with an uncomfortable silence.

"so how was your first party," he asked the girl as he drove.

"everything I thought it would be, to be honest," she said as he smiled.

"i'm glad you had fun-"

"oh my gosh! can we stop for tacos!" she said as he drove by a whole bunch of taco trucks.

"you have a curfew?" he asked a bit skeptically, knowing the girl wouldn't normally be out this late.

"no, my grandmas asleep. I should be fine," she said as jack pulled over and wondered why she lived with her grandma. he just wanted to know her.

"don't open the door," he said as he saw her reach for the door

"what?" she giggled at the boy as he ran around the car and opened the door for her.

"I'm being a gentleman," he said smugly.

"someone has a crush," she sang as he rolled his eyes.

"as if i haven't made that obvious" he sassily told the girl as she laughed

"well, i never knew! you're not as good a flirter as you think you are" she told him as he gasped

"I mean, you're here," he quipped back as she let out another laugh. Jack felt a rush of adrenaline, knowing he had caused that.

"I- you have a point," she said, accepting her defeat.

the girl ordered, and as she reached to pull out her card, jack was already handing the cashier his card.

"jack-"

"it's on me" he said as he smiled.

"i feel bad, i made you drive me and now you're buying me food-"

"you can repay me with a date," he told the girl as her eyebrows raised.

"you're serious," she said, looking for any form of jokiness, and all she saw was a hopeful look.

"why you barely even know me"

"I want to know you," he said, and the girl could squeal. He knew all the perfect things to say, and she was finally getting why all these girls would jump headfirst into a guy.

she smiled at the boy before outstretching her hand,

"deal"

[moonreader1010]

Pac- how can you be the b*tch that never loses<3

(the pictures do not belong to me. All rights go to the original owner)

Pile 1. Pile 2.

Pile 3 ^

Pile 1:

Go tell your friends about it (about it)

Go tell 'em what you know, what you seen

How I roll, how I get it on the low (oh)

You have a really bright aura. You should really use it. it will take you to great heights. You have this ability to shed enlightenment over literally anyone. That's your superpower. Your connections are very important. You should work on your tolerance. Try to not get so involved in matters that don't concern you. Be helpful but to an extent. I see you giving A LOT to other people. But please look after yourself first. You are sensitive to certain things. Use this ability. Don't let it use you. Okay?. You need to learn how to balance your pride and when to compromise. I see you leaning toward one side more but bby different situations need to be dealt with differently. Yes balance. Another card is also pointing towards balance. Learn balancing things and you will be unstoppable.

There has been some loss. There is some anger too. And bby it is only contributing towards emotional instability. Don't let it control you. You are made for greater things. You might have felt left out a lot in your life but that's because people don't know what to do with you and your amazing self. You are different. And that's such a good thing no? Why don't you let yourself accept it. You won't fit in and that's because you simply are just better than them. Use it!!!!!!

Your brain is AMAZING. Your Ideas are amazing. You can play with emotions!!!!!! Girlllll!!! You really need to go out there and get it. Period.

Additional- Libra, high achiever, materialistic, 3, 1, affinity, triumph.

Song for you - tell your friends by the Weeknd

Pile 2: a bit 18+

You gotta be a star to jump over the moon so when you touch on me

You're a shooting star (a star), oh yeah (a star)

You know you got somethin' for the world to see and there I go

Still wondering who you are (a star, a star, yeah)

Your friendships are very important. Your communication has so much potential to make you a winner. Why don't you use it? You might love solitude and your own company but bby you gotta get out to play. And to win. Sympathy seems to be something that you know how to use. You have it in you. Again, friendship and community has been highlighted. There is a gift that you have inherited from your ancestors. You also seem to have a power in creating suspense and mystery and it's really attractive. You should use it more. Oohhh I see that you are quite feisty. You are not someone who just simply agrees to anything. You oppose it. You make things interesting. Yum. Are you possessive? Because people really admire it in you. In a sexy way. There is this arrogance that even though is conventionally bad but your arrogance is different. It makes things interesting almost. You give people ecstasy. This euphoric feeling. Very feminine energy from this pile.

Additional - cat, business, money.

Song for you - star by Megan thee stallion (feat. Lucky Daye)

Pile 3-

You came along when I needed a savior

Someone to pull me through somehow

I've been torn apart so many times

I've been hurt so many times before

So I'm counting on you now

Somebody already broke my heart

Straight up I'll tell you that i got very slippery energy. Very teasing. I also had this sudden moment where I got really angry. I feel like this pile is very "good girl gone bad" types. Past wounds. You have been hurt. A LOT. There was an earlier version of you that has been killed. You are an entirely new person. I'm getting very "don't touch or I'll break your hand" energy. Ummm. Baddie. Haha. Anyway, there has been a lot of stress, overworking or like some overwhelming experience. Too much to handle. Or maybe that's what people made you feel, that you are too much to handle or very high maintenance. But what do they know. They didn't deserve you (i suddenly felt like I had to tell you this). So true. They definitely don't deserve you. Maternal trauma. I'm so sorry bby. Heavy theme of transformation. Keep your good fait up bby. Do something for your soul and watch how you win. You have been oppressed a lot and it's time to break free. Don't hide. Despite all this, there is an innocence to you and it drives people crazy. Girlllllll. I got goosebumps. Please invest in yourself. Omg are you seriously okay bby? I'm so sorry. But it's over now. Get up and make sure nobody ever thinks about hurting you ever again. Don't suppress your memories bby. Feel them and let them transform you. Girl you are going to win.

Additional - heart, tears, fox, red, 8th house, scorpio.

Song for you - somebody already broke my heart by sade (this song is like a dedication from you to yourself)

[judgementdayslittle]

Little reader's reaction to Mami and Papi ignoring her in favour of little Dom. Plus Mami and Papi realize that they've been neglecting little reader.

Oooh now, I love writing fluff, but this...This is my jam and butter. I am a SUCKER for hurt/comfort. So I will gladly write this one!

-Now Mami and Papi wuold never ignore you on purpose, and they're usually very good at giving you and Dom equal amounts of attention and care.

-But one day, Dom was not only sick, but in a VERY little headspace. A sick toddler was one thing, but a sick infant? That meant all hands on deck.

-Now they didn't neglect your basic needs. In the morning, Mami would sit you at the table with some toast and juice before quickly going to attent to Dom. Usually at least one of your caregivers would sit at the table with you and talk about what you wanted to do today.

-But instead, you quietly ate your breakfast. Hoping things would get better through out the day.

-Sadly things didn't get much better though. You were left to play all by yourself, which was so boring!

-When you tried to go to Dom's room to get them, they would quickly hurry you out of there. Their excuse being "We don't want you to get sick too honey."

-When you saw them outside of his room, you would try to get their attention then as well. When Papi was going to make a bottle for Dom, you tugged on his shirt.

-His reply being "Sorry cariño, can't play right now. I need to get Dom his bottle." He said, right before you can hear Dom's cries from upstairs.

-You were starting to lose hope, but then you had an idea! They would always praise you when you drew something for them, and they would always hang it on the fridge. Sometimes afterwards, they would all color with you!

-So you got to work. Trying to make the bestest picture ever with your crayons!

-Once you were all done, you hurriedly went upstairs to show them. Though you knew they would just shoo you away if you went into Dom's room. So you sat right outside, waiting for them.

-A half an hour later, Mami came out! You showed her your picture, expecting praise and cuddles and kisses!

-But instead you got a tired "That's great sweetheart. Excuse me, I have to get DomDom more medicine." She said before she rushed past you.

-At that point, you felt so sad and confused. Why were Mami and Papi ignoring you? Both you and Dom have been sick before, and they weren't like this back then!

-You were starting to think you did something bad. And now Mami and Papi were mad at you...

-So you sadly made your way to the time out corner. Sitting their with tears slowly falling down your face.

-A while later, Dom finally fell asleep. Giving Rhea and Damian some time to themselves. They decided to go downstairs to make a late lunch.

-They looked around for you to see what you wanted to eat, but they weren't expecting to find you sitting in the corner.

-Worried, Rhea spoke up first. "What are you doing over there sweetheart?" Rhea asked, grabbing you gently to turn you around. Once you faced her, she saw your tears and red puffy eyes.

-"Oh honey, what's wrong? Did something happen?" She asked in a soft, worried tone. Damian coming up to the two of you to help with the situation.

-"Mami Papi no love me no more..." You cry, making your caregivers hearts break.

-"That's not true baby! We love you so much! Why would you-"

-Then it hit them like a ton of bricks. How they haven't been paying much attention to you for the past few days. How they left you feeling all alone. And no matter how much you tried to reach out to them, they always brushed you off.

-They felt so incredibly bad about ignoring you. Rhea scoops you up in her arms and rocks you. Papi hugs you from the other side.

-"We are so sorry cariño." Papi said, "We were so worried about Dom, we didn't notice that you were hurting as well..."

-Mami continued, "We love you so much sweetheart, and we'll never stop loving you. Mami and Papi messed up big time. Can you forgive us?"

-Of course you do forgive them, you love them after all! You give them a biiiiiiiiig hug back!

-While Dom is sleeping, the three of you spend time together. Eating lunch at the table, playing with toys, and watching cartoons.

-When Dom does eventually get up, you feel scared that they might leave you alone again.

-But instead, Papi gets up and ruffles your hair. "I'm gonna go take care of Dom for a bit. But Mami's gonna stay right here with you so you're not lonely. Alright?" He said.

-You grin, happy that someone was going to stay here and keep you company.

-Mami ruffles your hair as well, "I think it's high time we have some Mami-Baby time today. And later on, you can have Papi-Baby time while I take care of Dom."

-You were happy with that arrangement. Papi gave you a kiss on the head before heading up to take care of Dom.

-After all that happened, you had never felt so loved!

[nattikay]

a few people have mistaken Neynari for albino (she's actually leucistic) so here's a quick doodle of her with an actually albino Na'vi!

autistic infodumping about albinism vs. leucism under the cut (lots of cool animal pictures)

Albinism is a genetic condition that prevents the production of pigment, specifically melanin...which for mammals would be all pigment since mammals only produce melanins, but some types of reptiles, birds, etc. also have other types of pigments that are unaffected by albinism, which is why you can get, for example, an albino ball python that still has bright yellow markings. That's a tangent though, and yes I know that being aliens and all Na'vi skin is colored by "cyanin" not melanin but for simplicity's sake let's assume that the Pandoran equivalent to albinism affects cyanin the same as melanin in Earthen species, and since the Na'vi are clearly a mammalian equivalent let's assume that they don't have fancy extra types of pigment.

This lack of pigment production means that albino individuals end up with white hair/fur/feathers/scales and pinkish skin (it's unpigmented but will still appear pinkish instead of pure white because there's still red blood/muscle/etc. underneath. So, no, an albino Na'vi probably would not actually look like all those AI-generated "snow Na'vi" images floating around 😅)

It can also makes the eyes appear red or pink because without pigment in the way you can see the red of the blood vessels behind them. That said, depending on the opacity of the structures inside the eyes, this won't always be the case; if they are opaque enough you won't be able to see those blood vessels and the eyes will appear a pale gray or bluish.

Speaking of eyes, it turns out that the presence of melanin is actually pretty important in ocular development, so albino individuals often have impaired vision.

.

Leucism, on the other hand, is an umbrella term that covers a range of conditions that cause partial lack of pigment in some way, shape, or form (as opposed to the total lack seen in albinism). Leucistic phenotypes can be quite varied depending on what's causing the pigment malfunction.

Some leucistic conditions cause a lack of pigment in hair/fur/feathers but not skin or eyes. This results in a white coat that is often mistaken for albino. The main way to distinguish this type of leucism from true albinism is to look at the eyes (and sometimes skin, like on the nose or pads). Leucistic conditions do not affect the eyes, so if the animal has a standard eye color for its species, it's leucistic, not albino. If it has red/pink or unusually pale grayish eyes along with pinkish skin, it's albino.

.

Another leucism condition causes uneven distribution of pigment-producing cells, giving the individual normal coloration interspersed with unpigmented splotches. This condition is also known as piebald and can produce some really stunning patterns!

.

Yet other leucism conditions reduce pigment production, but do not completely halt it. In other words, these individuals do produce pigments in all their integuments, just not as much as their standard-colored counterparts...so they retain most of their natural markings/patterning, but with a pale "washed-out" appearance (this is the type Neynari has!)

...so yeah, now you know :)

[menlove]

bought the coolest jacket I'll ever own for $6 the other day

[ivesambrose]

PAC: WHEN DOES IT STOP HURTING

1. 2. 3.

For anyone who needs it 🤍

To Book a personal reading with me DM or email me at ivesambrose@gmail.com

Paid Services

Masterpost

Thank you for the tip 🌟

Picture 1

You try to light a spark in everyone's life. Especially when they have lost faith.

oh you want to to light the way so bad. To offer something from a place of love and care. You've been doing this as long as you can remember despite the number of times the flame has been blown out. Sometimes you worry you're running out of the wick to ignite anymore. It still ails you, not feeling at home, not feeling belonged and not having your consideration matched.

It's made you bitter, it's made you value your wins and your emotions a lot less. It's made you unable to picture a life where you get a happier ending.

Does the pain go? Yes, eventually.

you might end up leaving a place physically. You might end up throwing something old away.

One day you'll wake up post purging and the hurt would've gone away and you can start again.

for those who do better with timings, life starts looking up by middle of October.

Picture 2

You feel like a child trapped in a grown person's body.

There's so much grief and not enough understanding why you are unable to process or regulate your emotions the way you should. Things happen so fast, come at you so quick and you have to carry on despite of it.

It still hurts you to not know what lies ahead. To feel directionless and often alone. The thought of letting someone be there for you or love you also feels so jarring. A lot of you haven't received healthy or a calm love growing up or from your previous relationships. You do realize that you can't remain stuck in certain patterns so most of you have broken them but feel as though there's no one to count on but thyself.

Does this pain ease? Inevitably.

It will be put to rest. Just gone one day and you'll be left with something tangible, reliable and true that grows over time. Just be sure to nurture it.

for those who do better with timings, life starts looking up from July.

Picture 3

its like you had everything at one point growing up, all you needed was the right assurance the proper guidance for what you wanted to do. But it's as though it was snatched away from you and you had to fend for yourself. Do everything by yourself. Especially when it came to your career, dreams and finances. It wasn't fair. It'll never be.

It hurts you so much to remain where you are, be it in a place or simply inside your head. You had to walk away from things you've wanted and you continue to carry your remains. There's so much anguish you don't even know where to pour it to. You're tired. You do want to make it out alive. Not survive, but live.

you will one day, banish this hurt away. It has overstayed.

A lot of you will glow up, bloom immensely especially in terms of their career and finances. You'll have more than enough and you'll be able to be what you've wanted to become.

for those who do better with timings, life starts looking up from middle of August.

[matchadobo]

Omg i love your "cuddles" 🥰🥰🥰😍😍❤️🤩. Would you do a second maybe nsfw part? 🙏🙏🙏😋

KIDD & KILLER; cuddles pt. 2

part 1

wc: 1448 warning/s: 🔞, afab reader, 3some, polyamory

it was not long before the cuddles became a regular thing. you'd always end up crawling on kidd's bed, your perfume had already rubbed on his sheets. kidd will be on your right and killer will be on your left. a unanimous position that the three of you had agreed on without talking about it.

what comes to mind about 'not talking about it' is the thing you three have going on. everyone notices the officially unofficial relationship between the three of you. it's honestly suffocating to see you three tiptoeing towards each other.

everyday on the ship, it's you three who are always beside one another. on the dinner table, you sit next to each other and no one else in the ship even thinks about changing that. when in groups, they always pick dibs on you.

nobody hits you up because they know who they're gonna piss off and they're immediately going to be thrown off the ship if they even attempt to. same goes with them. ever since you came into the picture and they've laid dibs on you ,those who have even a shred of attraction to the captain and his first mate dissipated.

they envy you really, sleeping with the captain and his right hand man. be it nothing happened between the three of you. but something deep inside you hopes that something really does happen. you're too scared to break the thing you three got going on to even bring that up.

"you been quiet, name. it's scarin' me." kidd cleared his throat, his flesh arm cushioning thr back of his head. your arm was lousily slung over the surface of his torso while killer embraced you firmly by your waist, his chin nestled on your shoulder as he was deep asleep with parted lips and little snores.

you flinched a little, eyes trailing from the small window that let a wee bit of moonlight in and illuminated kidd's bright amber eyes staring at his ceiling. "nothing, just trying to sleep. why are you still awake?"

he heaved a deep breath before answering. "a thought been buggin' the shit outta me, you know?"

you furrowed your brows a little, it's so rare kidd opens up about something. "want to talk about it?" you snuggled closer but didn't move so haphazardly so as to not jolt killer awake, he's a light sleeper after all.

"bout time really. though kil's knocked the fuck out." he nodded to killer. further confusing you more.

"hey he's been working hard all day, let him. besides, can you not tell me without him?" you looked up at him expectantly, but he kept his eyes glued to the ceiling.

"'s about us. the three of us." he finally looked at you.

the mellow roar of the evening tide evidently disturbed the silence that pooled in the room. you returned his gaze but you held hesitation in yours while his had an earnest intent.

"i'm listening. go on." you broke eye contact, eyes trailing down to the steady heaving of kidd's chest.

"don't play clueless with me, aye? surely it crossed your mind." a little chuckle coated his speech. "thought about what it'd be if we three fucked or somethin'."

your spit got caught in your throat and you started coughing vehemently, waking killer up in the process who immediately rubbed your back to ease your plight while still half asleep. kidd couldn't contain his laughter he had to sit up.

"what... what did you do kidd? why is name coughing so bad?" killer rubbed his eye with his other hand to see better while the other rubbed on your back. he looked to the side to see kidd laughing hysterically with a hand on his stomach.

"bonnie's all flustered, it's the cutest thing." kidd started, wiping a tear by the corner of his eye.

"shut up! look, because of your dumbass killer's awake." you buried your face in your hands, all the blood rushing to your cheeks.

"me? baby, who's the one who coughed 'er heart out?" he teased, tone mocking as he poked fun at you.

"are you even serious or are you just playing with me?" you looked over to kidd once you had composed yourself, irritated as you approach him.

"oh, bonnie. i'm down if you're down, killer's too. we're just waitin' for your go signal." he tapped the bottom of your chin with his index.

"i-i... haven't tried doing it with two guys." you suddenly grow shy, you rubbed on your shoulders as you looked down on your blanketed thighs.

killer, who immediately picked up on the situation, reached over to ruffle your hair. "that's fine, dove. it doesn't matter." his fingers trailed down to massaging the side of your neck gently, reveling in the display of skin and the softness of it. "besides, if you need that reassurance, i really do want to do it with you, hm? " he placed a soft peck on your shoulder, his kiss on your bare skin raised your goosebumps from head to toe.

"what he said." kidd stretched before leaning on the headboard with an arm behind his head. "woulda love to see you naked, though. scratches an itch in my brain."

with their statements, you almost felt like smoke is coming out of you from the increase of heat in your system. your breathing was uneven, you could hear your heart just begging to calm down, and your cheeks felt hotter than the planet near the damn sun. it was all too much for you.

next thing you know, kidd's head was buried deep in your cunt and you were almost breaking your neck from making out with killer from behind. you were between killer's legs while kidd was between yours. killer massaged your mounds from under your shirt while he sucked on your lips. his cock growing hard on your back. it honestly surprised you to see him acting like this.

kidd was busy dragging his tongue feverishly across your folds, his hand pried your legs open as they shiver through the sheer force of his tongue. his nails were digging by the flesh of your thighs as he watched you melt before killer's frame.

after a long while of kidd getting drunk on your cunt, his lips moved back to your stomach up to space that separates your breasts towards your neck and to your lips. catching your lips from killer's. as the redhead got busy with kissing you, you felt his damp length brushing up by your stomach in much need of friction from you.

killer helped you off your shirt and unhooked your bra, his large hands didn't leave your breasts as he played with it from behind. he left trails of dark hickeys on the juncture of your neck and shoulder while pinching the bundle of nerves in the middle of your mounds.

as requested by your captain, you worked yourself up in giving him a handjob while melting in killer's stimulation. kidd had your lips captured by his, swallowing up your moans as he fucked himself on your fist.

you started working up a sweat, beads of them pooling by your forehead. positioned by kidd's lap as he filled you up while you choke on killer's length. your ass slamming by the surface of his toned abdomen as he placed his arm at the back of his head to enjoy the view of the two of you. killer got a firm grip on your locks as he guided your mouth to his sweet spots, throwing his head back as you gobble him whole. kidd relished the view from your behind as you struggle to cater to two of them while being cock drunk.

it wasn't long before they came on you, pumping their lengths over your heaving, sweating body.

"you know i'm a man of no self control but hell, wouldn't wanna get ya pregnant, aye?" kidd grunted, panting as he squeezed the last drop of his seed.

"don't even try. fuck you, kidd." you squirmed under them as the throbbing in your lower half hit you like a truck, curling into a fetal position.

"oh you already did." kidd gave your ass a little slap before lying down the same position as you three usually do.

"don't tease her too much now, kidd. she's spent, hm? i think it's best if we all get some rest, yeah?" killer lied down on your opposite side, hooking his arm under your head to cushion it as he pulled you closer to his embrace just so he could plant a kiss on your forehead. "bunny's done so well after all, didn't she?"

omg?? this was my first time making a 3some smut so if this was all over the place don't eat me 😓

hello anon!🌷 i was really hesitant to make this bc it's a 3some and i haven't done anything of the sort which exceeds fluff. but that doesn't mean i don't want to, ok? it's just uncharted waters, that's why this is short. i still hope i delivered?? 🫶 plus, i did this as afab/fem reader bc i can't make smut for gn readers 😭

[rieamena]

i dont care what ANYBODY SAY and if its self-indulgent but I KNOW that INO TAKUMA LOVES BLACK GIRLS i can feel it in my soul

contains: ino having a major crush on you, non-sorcerer au, black!fem!reader working at a cafe, nanami & ino are more friends than mentor/mentee

wc: 1.2k

ino who is star struck when he walks into the cafe that he was meant to meet nanami at for lunch and sees you. your bright smile as you tend to a customer lights up the cafe, going beautifully with your skin. the way you move with grace and confidence behind the counter captivates him, making it impossible for him to look away. he’s completely entranced by the warmth you give in your interactions with everyone. he finds a suitable table and sets down his things, his eyes never leaving you. you finish up with your current customer and consider walking over to take his order but hesitate, noticing that he must be waiting for someone.

ino who's eyes accidentally meet yours and he starts freaking out. texts nearly every group chat he's in, frantically typing, "GUYS WHAT DO I DO!!! OUR EYES JUST MET..... GUYS??? HELLO???" his phone lights up with multiple teasing and encouraging notifications, but none seem to be helpful in the moment.

ino who musters up the courage to walk up to the counter and order a few things from the menu hanging above your head. he lies and says he's not sure what to get, asking for your input instead. "i recommend the vanilla strawberry trifle cake with our signature iced honey lemon tea!" you pointed to the cake in the display next to you. ino hums in approval, "i'll get that then!" you entered his order into the screen before you, looking up when you heard your name. "y/n? is that right?" ino tilted his head, eyes on your name tag. "yeah...!" you beamed before collecting yourself, signaling to the card reader at the edge of the counter. "it's pretty, just like you."

ino who immediately taps his card and runs away to his table, silently begging for nanami to come quicker, his heart dropping when he sees nanami's "i'm going to be late." text. his head goes straight into his hands, unbelievably embarrassed. you watch him retreat, a soft smile on your face and turn to start preparing his order.

ino who sulks for 30 seconds before realizing that this is the perfect opportunity to get to know you a bit more. he sends a picture of the menu to his colleague and within seconds got a reply. "i'll have a croissant with black coffee, thanks. be there in 15." taking a deep sigh, ino walked back to the counter, playing with his hands. feeling someone's presence, you yelled out "sorry! i'll be right- oh its you!" walking over to where he was, you continued speaking, "is everything okay? wanna change your order?" ino shook his head and signaled behind him, "no no! i'm ordering for my friend." friend?, you thought, eyes looking past him and at the table he claimed. "but there's no one there?" you looked up into his eyes and ino could've sworn his heart skipped a beat. looking back, as if he expected nanami to randomly appear, he laughed, "yeah, you're right. he's running a bit late, though it would be better to just not come at all." "why's that?" you continued preparing his order, pouring ice into a glass. "well our lunch break ends soon..." ino pauses, checking the time, "in like 20 minutes or so."

ino who tries his best not to laugh as you whip your head around to look at him. "20 minutes?!?! oh my god..." you finished making his tea and quickly moved over to the display to cut him a generous piece of the cake he ordered. slice of cake and glass of tea in hand, you walked back to the man, placing it in front of him. "here ya go... sorry about that. what would your friend like?" the man's gaze was directed slightly above your eyes. "your hair... it got out of place..." shuffling to find the nearest reflective surface, the man continued to speak "wait...! i got you. don't worry!" he pulled out his phone, opening the front camera and turning it towards you. peering into the device slightly, you fix your sections and the decorative scarf on your head. "thank you for that....." your voice trailed off at the end, needing something to complete your thought. ino took a few seconds but ultimately understood with a big smile on his lips. "ino."

ino who finds it hard to not self-destruct when he hears his name on your lips. "thank you for that ino, and for that compliment from before too." he chokes on his breath, violently coughing afterwards. "yeah...! uh, no problem! just calling it how it is..." he laughed awkwardly, rubbing the back of his neck. "if it helps, i think you're pretty cute yourself!"

ino who finds himself coming back to the cafe every day. never forgetting to order something extra for his friend. "let me guess, a black coffee and croissant for nanami?" ino softly laughs and nods, and you give him the pastry and drink that you prepared ahead of time. "yeah but im off today. i'll just be dropping it off at the office." "wait..., you're here on your off day? isn't your job super stressful? why dont you relax at home?" "being able to see you is relaxing. how could i miss a day of conversation with the prettiest girl in the world?" you stared at him, feeling heat rise to your face. "do i look good?" "good?" ino questioned. "baby, you're stunning." he pouted, thinking that you might be feeling insecure in the moment. smiling and letting out a sigh, you corrected yourself, "no i mean, does my hair look okay? my clothes look straight?" you gave him a quick 360 as you smoothened out your work uniform. ino silently ohhed as he searched your form for any imperfections. "nope! nothing out of place." "thanks, wanted to make sure before i do this." ino stayed silent and you took that as an okay to continue. "okay... i can do this... uh ino, can i... have your number?" you stared at his expressionless face before burying your head in your hands.

ino who thinks something is up when you give him that request. "y/n, did you read my mind last night?" "what?" your eyes met his and they widened when you found ino already looking at you. "last night, i told myself that i was finally going to ask you out but here you are beating me to it!" you let go of a breath you didn't know you were holding and giggled. "well, since i beat you to it." you unlocked your phone and created a new contact, handing it over to ino. he briefly poses for the contact photo and saves his number in your phone. giving your phone back, he speaks. "on one condition." "which is...?" you put your phone back into your apron pocket, smiling coyly. "i get to take you on a date?" ino's tone was soft, unsure if his advance was going to land the way he wanted. "of course you can."

ino who turns away from you and begins celebrating as if he's invisible. he does multiple yes! motions before abruptly stopping, collecting himself, and turning back to you. "so uh, your shift ends in 30, right?" ino glanced at the clock, his forearms resting on the counter, bending over slightly. looking at the small digital clock on your right, you nodded. "i'll wait for you then."

first jjk post hello???!!! first post in a year hello?!?!? this is my first time writing in sooooo long i swear but i feel that i really needed that break and i think i got better (i hope i got better) as usual if you liked this let me know! likes, comments, + reblogs are ALWAYS appreciated. love yall <3

[poppy-metal]

the reader dbf patrick stepdaddy art is DIABOLICAL and i need it RIGHT NOW actually. crying on patricks cock for the first time while art watches like, "im sorry, daddy, 'm sorry, just wanted it so bad, so so badly, you understand, right, you get it?" and the funny thing is, he totally does, because its patrick, yes, he gets it, more than anything he gets it, but this is wrong, isn't it? this is wrong and fucked up and evil, but you're reaching for his belt with wide, wet eyes, begging, "can make it up to you, daddy, can make you feel real good, please, 'm sorry, let me show you how sorry i am" and his resolve just has to crumple.

(obviously there has to be about six million years of YEARNING in between but you know. the horny.)

-kit ♡♡♡

@gamesetart ur sick for enabling me. i slowed things down a little bc i was cooking but the outcome will probably eventually be this. LMAO

under a cut because like patrick, this is sending me straight to hell i fear.

skipping ahead a million years just to fuck stepdad!art who also happens to be patricks ex who hes never gotten over and has been friends with this whole time - maybe its his fault actually, that you fall in love with patrick at the tender age of 14 - because art loves him so much. hes around so much. like father like daughter, right? he might not be your dad by blood but he is in every other way that counts - he has full custody - your mom been out of the picture for awhile now. its almost like having two dad, growing up. you think art and patrick are closer than any two men you've seen before. but they date other women so you don't think much of it - you want art to be happy again. you dont blame him for leaving your mother, you're just happy he took you with him.

anyway - falling for patrick is inevitable - it burns inside you like a wildfire you have no chance of stopping, so you dont try.

and patrick..... maybe he's given up hope on art after all these years. they'd had something brief and tangible in college - but it'd fizzled out - art had pretended it didn't happen. and patrick loved art too much to press the issue. he'd been content to live forever being arts best friend and nursing a flame for him that would never be returned.

and then you'd come along - it'd been hell watching art get married - he never liked that bitch, anyway, for more reasons than sharing arts bed. she treated her kid like dirt. art even worse. it got to a point where the only reason art was staying around was for you - he couldn't leave you. you were just a kid. and art had only been with you for three years but it was enough. enough for him to love you. enough for him to martyr himself for you and stay in an unhappy marriage if it meant he could play the role of daddy for you.

it may have been him who planted the seed. he'd met you a few times by that point, but he remembers a pool party where you'd been sucking on a lollipop as you watched art work the grill - your mother somewhere inside - you were twelve then - old enough to have some brain cells, patrick figured.

"he'd make a good dad, dont you think?" he'd nudged you. "i mean look at him - already rocking the dad stance with a fucking polo to match. he'll be telling us it looks like a storms rollin' in any second now."

and you'd popped the lolly out of your mouth and showed him your teeth with your smile.

a raised brow. "really? does he know that? does your mother?"

"he already is my dad, though."

you'd frowned. stuck the lolly back in your mouth. he could tell he'd given your brain alot to think about that.

it was only a year later that the divore was finalized. and art was granted full custody of you as his daughter - full guardianship. patrick got him the hell out of that town shortly thereafter.

and that was it, really. that was the plan. just to live in peace. he didn't expect to grow so attached to you. to enjoy watching you grow up. to enjoy being there for your important milestones. he saw a bit of himself in you, too, that wild precociousness. that want to run free. saw how it fucking terrified art, who wanted nothing but the best for you after the life you'd had. always the hero.

so yeah, when you'd started your rebellious teen phase he'd helped you hide it. picked you up from parties when you couldn't drive home instead of calling your dad. because he didn't want to see art unhappy. he didn't want to see art look at you and see the patrick in you and hate it. he couldn't.

he didn't know you'd fall in love with him. he didn't.

and when he realized you had, he'd pushed you away. he had.

but the thing is - as much as you had patrick in you - you had art as well. your inherent kindness. your sweet open face. your determination and dedication. he saw it and then he couldn't unsee it. and as long as he'd held onto his love for art he was tired. he was fucking tired of being unloved and unwanted and here you were - a tether to art - his beautiful babygirl - and you were throwing yourself at him. loving him. wanting him. so fucking beautiful and innocent - just like art had been, all those years ago.

couldn't fault him for caving. he'd faught it, but patricks not a good man. and hes a stray dog at the end of the day, dirty and hungry and begging for scraps.

he fucking devoured you. took from you. took your virginity - just like he did your fathers - broke it on his cock and tried not to feel sick that the symbolic way your blood drenched his cock connected you and him and art in a way that was as holy and it was perverted. he fucked you and he fucked you and he fucked you. he had you whenever and wherever he wanted and he didn't allow himself to think about the consequences of it - because he was fucking greedy for it - you took everything he was and you bit into it and you bounced on his dick like he was a fucking god and he found himself falling in love all over again.

he'd find a way to tell art and make it right. he would.

but then there'd been that night when art asked him out for drinks and patrick would tell something was wrong. he'd been distant from art lately, if he was being honest, consumed completely by you. the only reason he was free was because you were at a friends.

when art had confessed he felt you pulling away the guilt had set in... because art looked so sad. so pathetic and lonely and patrick had never wanted this for art. his heart pitched and dropped in his chest and he couldn't tell art about you - not now -

and then art had looked at him and said "you know she reminds me of you -" and patricks lips had parted. the alcohol in his system warmed his blood, but so did the heavy weight of arts eyes on him. it was a look patrick hadn't seen in years. decades even.

It was how you looked at him.

hungry.

that's all patrick thought as art drew closer and closer to him. fuck, when art placed a hand on his thigh. fuck, when his cock twitched. fuck, when art said he missed those days back in college. fuck, when art leaned in and patrick didn't pull away.

fuck.

fuck again, when he came to and they were back at arts apartment - fuck when they passed your room and thank fuck you weren't home, thank fuck - fuck fuck fuck when art got on his knees and stroked patricks cock and patrick thought his first clear thought of the night -

fuck fuck and fuck again because he lost his mind a little when arts lips touched his. went a little dizzy with it.

fuck fuck fuck - because arts sinful pink mouth descended around him and he fucking moaned around it and in some twisted dark corner of patricks seedy mind he thought art must taste you on him - must know its you hes tasting and thats why he throats him deeper like a fucking whore.

i fucked her this morning. he's about to suck his daughter's pussy off my dick and he doesn't even fucking know -

patrick knows hes going to hell.

he knows it because he uses the same fingers he'd had inside your cunt to spread your dads ass open for the same dick he'd plunged into you - he knows hes going to hell because when he slides inside and art moans he thinks he sounds just as pretty as you do - they take me so fucking well - made for me - fucking made for me

and when he pulls out to come down and swallow arts cock down his own throat he moans when he thinks about kissing you later tonight with your fathers spunk on his tongue -

hes going to hell.