#they don’t have the courage ignorance or audacity to act in such a way irl

[mxtxfanatic]

I need to vent and for someone to tell me if I'm crazy 😭 This might just be a generalization born from my interactions with some Jiang Cheng fans and knowing a few in real life BUT. Why does it feel like every single one of them just had this one more talented or naturally-good-at-something childhood friend that they envied or were resentful of. And now they are just projecting with their whole chest onto the biggest Less Talented Friend posterchild they could find.

I just read a post that said something like *All of you Jiang Cheng haters never had to grow up with someone constantly upstaging you and shoving it in your face and it shows* and my mind just OPENED!!! My IRL friend was the same way I used to constantly downplay everything I achieved so she wouldn't be insecure.

Did I just stumble upon something or am I projecting even harder than I think they are

I think you’re right about it being projection, but I think its projection independent of a lived experience. Like yeah, some of them probably had experiences of being “shown up” by someone they couldn’t immediately excise from their life, but I think the greater draw to their desire to protect Jiang Cheng from critique is that Jiang Cheng is the absolute shithead they wish they could be, and if people do not like Jiang Cheng—if the readers think he is an asshole, his author thinks he is a pathetic version of Xue Yang, and his fictional peers think he is an unpleasant agemate to avoid—then it ruins their fantasies of being able to act a complete ass to people around them while facing zero consequences. No, not just facing zero consequences, being praised as brave for lashing out at the people around him, friend and foe, alike. That’s what they want.

[vaxir]

Argent Dawn hatred

Y’know, the reason some of Argent Dawn hates me is because...

I don’t give in to their bullshit. I stick up for myself, not allowing them to get me down. I’ve never let them get a hold of me and I’ve never backed down. And that really pisses some people off. 

They expect you to feel bad about yourself and inevitably leave the server after they harass you in public on the forums and in-game and shit talk you in their own discord. All because they chose to dislike you. 

And why do they dislike me, what started it all?

I started on AD in 2010, January. I didn’t know the lore so made lots of mistakes. I was a San’layn RPing in Stormwind. THAT was where I got my first hate. Why? Because I was a newbie to the game and lore. That somehow was deserving of hate, and I would get whispers of abuse and hate frequently. Instead of trying to help me, I would get simple, misplaced hate. Of course, I just ignored them and continued on my way, being ‘badrp’. So they got angry and I got more hate because I wasn’t changing to suit their elitism. Instead, I was having fun with my friends and breaking the lore.

That, to them, was worth abuse.

Eventually, through self discovery, I learned more on the lore and adapted over time to become lore friendly and left Stormwind at the end of 2010. Over time, Vaxir grew in size and bulk and her looks changed - which progressed over eight years mind you. So all in all I was playing a behemoth hyped up on blood magic and blight. She was muscular, heavy set and ugly. And powerful. But without revealing her history, nobody knew HOW she got this way.

That, to them, was also worth abuse. Because they couldn’t work out her history, so it must be ‘badrp’, and ‘badrp’ means you can hate someone. That and the damage from my ‘badrp’ and standing up for myself had already gotten me a bad name.

I was invited to the ‘LFRP’ channel once. Curious, I accepted the invitation, only to be met with hatred and abuse for my ‘badrp’. So I just left, bewildered why anybody would do that.

Before I continue, I must say that I am an adult. I do adult things in life and enjoy adult themes. This does not mean, however, I bring it into Warcraft’s game itself.

This landed me with more hatred.

I commissioned a ‘non-canon’ picture of Vaxir sporting a dick. Why? Because I found the idea amusing. I had debated for a while what gender she was - MtF or just female, and stuck with fully female. But the idea never left my mind and so I commissioned a ‘what if’ picture. This was quickly discovered by AD and shared around the game and forums.

Which pissed me off, not because I was being ‘shamed’, but because they were subjecting possible minors to pornography I purposely kept away from prying eyes. Yes, you had to literally search my name on 18+ sites to find this art, meaning this people were genuinely stalking me by now in some sense. They were keeping tabs on me because of their dislike for me, then sharing any ‘dirt’ they could find, to then put it on the forums for children to see. I ignored it for the main part, tried to explain it isn’t ‘canon’, but they had made up their minds. 

This landed me with full time in-game and out of game stalkers. Because I had started as a newbie and did ‘badrp’.

Yes, I was legitimately being stalked online. 

Some time during all this I converted my OOC guild into an IC one and named it Bane. I invited my friends and we role played freely in Duskwood, just having fun. The previously mentioned image surfaced and then the stalking began, mere months after Bane was formed (or maybe longer, I’m not sure on the exact time).

One person joined who seemed promising and I allowed them to be an officer. Unknown to me, he was heavily into ERP and was inviting people to the guild to ERP with, inevitably creating a ring of ERPers inside Bane. Right under my nose. Without me knowing. It went on for a while.

Rickarla eventually joined the guild and we picked up on this ERP circle and had the members either leave or be kicked. But the damage was done. People had cottoned on to these ERPers - without telling me - and branded Bane an ERP guild. Coupled with my non-canon art, all they could speak about was that we must all be ERPers. 

We made a rule - no ERP. If you’re discovered, we kick you. But that didn’t stop ERPers joining and over time we just had to find out and kick them. For example we had two male Worgen in the guild who were caught in cat form in the middle of a field... ERPing. Prior to this they seemed like fine people, but of course, they turned out to be public ERPers. So they were kicked on the spot.  

Still, I received daily abuse, accusations of being a ‘futa’, had people trashing me on the forums, you get the idea. And I was being constantly stalked. People would stealth around me to spy on my RP, following me everywhere I went in hopes of ‘catching me in the act’. How did I know? I’d catch people out in stealth as I moved, and I would use TRP3′s tracker to see who was around me.

It has to be said, there are only two screenshots of me doing ‘bad’ things - One is a screenshot of me biting into someone’s arm and ripping the flesh off which is on tinypic.com. The other is of Rickarla and I torturing someone in Karazhan catacombs (also laying proof to the stalking thing - it was so far out of the way they had deliberately followed us), which people are desperately trying to claim was ERP (if it was, why didn’t the stalker screenshot the text?). 

So essentially, people were desperately clutching at straws to try and put me down and most likely chase me off the server as they have various other people. But I continued playing, ignoring them, doing what I wanted to. They weren’t worth my time of day.

Rickarla was a growing artist, advertising her art in all possible places, and landing many, many commissions. She will not draw very few things, and so will draw... nearly anything. This got people riled up. They claimed that because she draws sexual artwork for people then she must engage in it too. We tried to explain it’s her full time job to draw for people, but they were having none of it.

This got Bane a lot of hatred. It got us both a lot of hatred, myself mainly, because I refused to ignore the slander and spoke back.

Over time I had to take a break from the game due to IRL issues and left the guild in the officers’ hands. Bane grew... but also attracted some unsavory people. They would attack people on sight for instance, and a few were... into the sexual side of things. Though nothing was actually screenshotted, I was being told rather often that a few members were ‘futas’ and so forth, commissioning sexual artwork.

My response? I don’t care - I still don’t, as long as they didn’t bring it into the game. As for the attacking, I would sort it out when I came back from my hiatus.

Either way, I came back, but still the damage was done. 

The abuse only grew from certain people and eventually Rickarla left the guild for personal reasons and I closed it as I couldn’t run it. It was just time for the guild to die, but the stalkers still stalked, the others still spouted abuse where possible. I didn’t argue back, more either ignored it or replied to the best of my ability to try and sort out the issue. But these people weren’t interested in resolving anything.

They just wanted to put others down, and still do to this day.

Over time these people seemed to give up as they found no dirt on me other than my adult taste in art, landing themselves forum bans for exposing children to pornography (and so well deserved that is).

Lots of people decided to speak to me and I made a lot more friends than enemies and was more accepted into the community as more people spoke to me to ask my side of the story, or saw the stupidity of these ‘haters’. Yes, some people had the decency and courage to approach me to ask me my side, and I explained things to the best of my ability. 

So time passed. I continued doing my thing, they did theirs - with less abuse, mind you, but it was still there if less hate filled. It all seemed to be getting better as more people accepted me and less hate was present.

Somewhere between a year to two years ago, one of the main hostile people came to the Alliance side and I decided to approach him. I asked why he hated me so much and he said because I ‘break the TOS by ERPing’.

I have done ERP with my ex in private, but this guy presumed I did it on all my characters all the time. 

I explained it wasn’t the case, that I am an adult that did a few things with my partner at the time, in private, but he wasn’t having it. I asked again, really, why he hated me - I knew for a moment his hatred wasn’t based on the TOS at all because hating someone over breaking the TOS is a lousy excuse at best. He had the audacity to say I started it (that I started hate against him) and then ignored me and proceeded to spread it around I had tried to ‘arse-lick’ him.

So I just decided to ignore that instance. It seemed trying to resolve the issue didn’t work because this guy was too stuck on hating me for no reason.

Note: I have always admitted that I have done ERP on a few occasions with my ex, but never on Vaxir. She is an asexual virgin for crying out loud.

Discord became a thing and this guy made a server for people on AD to join. I joined, all seemed fine. But things started to turn odd when I realised I couldn’t speak without being sent abuse or being sent to the ‘trash’ channel for answering people’s questions. One instance was that someone asked if cat ears are ‘furry’, so I was explaining that they could be if desired, but the term is kemonomimi. The channel owner, with a strange hatred for furries, decided I was ‘breaking the rules’ or whatever excuse it was, and sent me to the trash so I couldn’t talk to anyone.

So the abuse was back.

Eventually I was kicked for ‘being an ERP sympathizer’ when I had explained I don’t care, simply, what people do between two consenting adults in private. But this guy decided, after pretty much harassing me with his friends for weeks in the discord, enough was enough, and removed me (with luck).

This brings us to this day.

I am hated because these people decided my role play was ‘bad’. I am hated for literally baseless rumors. I am hated for being an adult. I am hated for keeping myself to myself. I am hated for keeping my adult art out of the game where it belongs. I am hated for sticking up for myself in the face of public abuse. I am hated for admitting I have, like most people, tried ERP. I am hated for being me.

And that is why I’m hated. Because they want me to be ‘bad’ and ‘wrong’, but in reality they’re the bad ones. Because I did ‘bad rp’. Because I’m a free adult. Because I won’t let them get me down.

I wrote this in hopes people will read it and understand I’m unnecessarily hated and perhaps clear their minds of any dislike against me for wrong reasons.