#they do quite a bit of literal colliding
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thisbluespirit · 7 months ago
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Suzanna Hamilton and Jeremy Northam as Matty Firman and Colin Beale in Wish Me Luck 1.3 (LWT 1988).
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auggieblogs · 2 months ago
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nsfw | mdni | lando norris x fem! driver reader | smut with a bit of plot.
Author’s note: Hiiii, everyone!!! I hope you all are doing good. I am sorry for being mia, I actually started university recently (it’s insane). Needless to say I have a lot on my plate right now, and writing isn’t the first thing on my agenda but I felt weirdly inspired yesterday (i am clearly ovulating). Anyways I hope you like it, happy reading<3
ALSO AGAIN, MDNI!!!! THIS CONTENT IS NOT SUITABLE FOR ALL AUDIENCES.
―୨୧⋆ ˚masterlist
You marched down the paddock, ignoring the piercing stares and whispers. Your heart was still racing, not just from the adrenaline of the crash but from the rage boiling inside you. The Baku Grand Prix had gone sideways fast, quite literally, and it was all Lando Norris's fault. Or, at least that's what you convinced yourself to believe.
Two laps in, you collided with him in one of the most reckless incidents of your career, sending both cars spinning out of the race. It wasn't just the crash that infuriated you-it was that smug, arrogant look you knew he'd wear afterward, refusing to accept his share of the blame.
As you stormed up to his driver’s room, you didn't even bother knocking, shoving the door open, fully prepared to let loose. But whatever words you had prepared immediately got stuck in your throat.
Lando was standing there, almost completely naked, wearing nothing but a pair of boxers. His chest glistened with sweat from the heat of the race, and his hair, a little longer now with a baby mullet sticking out, was damp and tousled. Your eyes raked over him, heart pounding. His body was lean, muscles tense and glistening under the fluorescent lights. His face was a mix of amusement and heat as he noticed your reaction.
Lando raised an eyebrow, a slow smirk forming on his lips as he noticed your staring. "Like what you see?" His voice was smug, teasing.
You blinked, quickly snapping yourself back to reality. No way you were letting him get to you like this, not when you were still so pissed.
"That was a shitty move, Norris," you spat, trying to focus on your anger instead of the fact that he was practically naked in front of you.
Lando's eyes flicked down your body, scanning you slowly, deliberately, making you feel hot under his gaze. He leaned back against the wall casually, arms crossed, his expression smug. "You rammed into me,” he said, not even trying to hide his amusement.
Your fists clenched, and you took a step closer, your rage bubbling over again. "That was you! You cut me off and ruined my race!" you nearly shouted, your voice rising with each word.
Lando shrugged, utterly nonchalant. "Or maybe you just couldn't handle the pressure." He sat down casually on the couch, his legs spread wide as he leaned back, watching you with that infuriatingly smug look on his face. "Maybe you just hate that you'll never beat me."
His words hit you like a slap to the face, but you didn't back down. You stepped closer, fists clenched at your sides.
"You're a prick, Norris. You think you're better than everyone else—"
Before you could finish your sentence, Lando grabbed your wrist and yanked you down, pulling you onto his lap so you were straddling him. The sudden movement made your breath hitch, your hands instinctively going to his shoulders for balance as you sat on top of him, your faces now inches apart.
"You keep running your mouth,” he murmured, his voice a low, “and I swear to God, I'll fuck you so hard you'll forget how to speak."
Your pulse spiked, your entire body buzzing with a mix of shock and arousal. The heat of him against you, the feel of his hands on your hips, sent a thrill through you that had you struggling to catch your breath. But you weren't backing down. Not with Lando. Never.
"Is that a threat or a promise?" you shot back, though your voice came out breathless, betraying how badly you wanted him.
Lando's eyes flashed with something dark and before you could react, his lips crashed into yours. The kiss was rough, desperate, all teeth and tongue. His hands were everywhere- gripping your waist, sliding up your back, pulling at the zipper of your race suit until it fell away, exposing your bare skin to the cool air of the room.
He groaned as he peeled the suit off your shoulders, his eyes devouring the sight of your breasts as they spilled free. Without hesitation, his hands cupped them, squeezing roughly as his mouth moved down to your neck, sucking and biting at the sensitive skin.
"Fuck, you've got perfect tits," Lando muttered, his voice thick with lust. He leaned forward, capturing one of your nipples in his mouth, sucking hard as his other hand kneaded the soft flesh of your other breast.
You gasped, your back arching as waves of pleasure shot through you. His tongue swirled around your nipple, teasing it until it hardened in his mouth, sending shivers down your spine. His free hand pinched and rolled your other nipple between his fingers, drawing moans from your lips that you couldn't suppress.
"You always walk around in that tight suit,” he growled against your skin, his breath hot as he moved from one breast to the other, giving it the same attention. “Do you know how hard it is to focus when I know these are underneath?"
You bit your lip, trying to hold back the moans threatening to escape as his hands and mouth drove you wild. But you couldn't resist anymore. The heat between your legs was unbearable, and you needed him-now.
"Lando, please,” you whimpered, grinding down against him, feeling his erection straining against his boxers. The friction sent sparks of pleasure through you, but it wasn't enough. You needed more.
He smirked up at you, his hands sliding down to your hips, his fingers finding your clit, rubbing slow, torturous circles that made your breath hitch in your throat. You moaned, your head falling back against the couch as your body trembled under his touch.
"Fuck, you're soaked for me," he whispered, his lips brushing against your ear. "Is this what you wanted? All that fighting, all that tension—was it just an excuse to get fucked?"
You didn't answer, too lost in the overwhelming sensation of his fingers moving inside you, curling just right, hitting all the spots that made you see stars.
"I asked you a question,” Lando growled, his other hand coming up to grip your throat lightly, forcing your eyes to meet his. “Is this what you wanted?"
You nodded, barely able to form words. "Yes," you breathed. “God, yes."
A smug smile tugged at the corner of his lips, and without a warning her tore your panties down. He plunged into you. Filling you completely.
You cried out, your hands gripping his back as he set a punishing pace, each thrust deeper than the last. The room filled with the sound of your moans and the slap of skin against skin as he fucked you relentlessly.
His hands gripped your hips tightly, holding you in place as he drove into you over and over again. “You feel so fucking good,” he groaned, his voice rough as he leaned down, capturing your nipple in his mouth again, sucking and biting as he pounded into you.
The sensation was overwhelming, pleasure building inside you with every thrust, every touch. You were close-so close-and Lando could feel it. His hand slipped between your legs, his fingers rubbing tight circles on your clit, pushing you closer to the edge.
"Come for me," he growled against your skin, his pace never faltering. "I want to feel you come all over my cock."
That was all it took. With a loud moan, your body tensed, and the orgasm crashed over you like a wave. Your walls clenched around him, and Lando groaned, his thrusts becoming erratic as he followed you over the edge, spilling inside you with one final, deep thrust.
For a moment, neither of you moved, both of you catching your breath as you lay tangled together on the couch, bodies still trembling from the intensity of it all.
Lando shifted, rolling onto his back beside you, his chest heaving as he looked over at you with a satisfied smirk. “Still think it was my fault?" he asked, his voice teasing.
You gave him a tired smile, your body still buzzing with aftershocks of pleasure. "Maybe we both lost this one,” you muttered, your hand lazily tracing patterns on his chest.
He chuckled, pulling you close. "Guess we'll just have to settle it off the track more often."
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kurikive · 4 months ago
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sticky | kim minji
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things between you and minji are... sticky this summer.
— childhood friends to lovers, summer trip, soccer player!reader, slowish burn, lowkey bromance, futchish READER 💜
contains : cursing, kinda slight makeoutism, a lot of bro and dude, just a little bit of angst but i promise its literally nothing, NOT proofread at all i am tireeeddd
wc: 13.7k words
inspired by : Sticky — KISS OF LIFE
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You're not really sure how you got here.
You’re watching the sunset at the beach with Kim Minji, your hand in between hers and the sand below you, your face two inches from her own, your lips two seconds away from colliding.
Actually, let's rewind.
It’s summer! It's been 3 long years of being away in Seoul. A soccer scholarship was always great, and you were having a fantastic time with your teammates and classmates, but you were completely burnt out after these exhausting last 6 months.
Korea University Anam Tigers proudly win 3rd place in the U-League for the first half of the season. 5 wins, 2 draws, 3 losses. Not too bad. You did better last year, but you're sure you'll recover and bounce back during the second half. Or maybe it was the alcohol and smell of grilled beef that was making you emotional.
After you finalize your amazing speech with a broken voice and a tear threatening to leave your eye, you realize you're actually quite drunk. The applause of your teammates startles you, and they may be mocking your sentimental state with their laughs and ‘aww’s and teasing pushes, but they cheer you on anyway.
“Han Y/N!” One of your teammates, Hsu Nientsu, also pretty tipsy, nudges your left arm as you sit back down, “Don't get so sensitive with us now!”
“Our Y/Nie gets emotional when drunk, huh?” Central striker Ahn Yujin, leader of the team, pinches one of your red cheeks from across the table, action to which you groan at.
“I just…” You sigh, drowsy and teary eyes block your vision yet you can still tell all your teammates are looking at you. “I really love our team and want us to do our best…” You make a mental note to never get drunk with your team again when they coo at you for a second time.
“Well then,” Oh Haewon starts pouring you another shot (she usually would make you pour it yourself, but your flimsy arms and hung head bring out the instinct to take care of you instead), “Let's climb up the leaderboard for Leftie!” She declares as she leaves the small glass of soju on your side of the table.
You hate the nickname. Nientsu came up with it the first year of your scholarship because when you were supposed to be in central midfield you spent most of your time on the left side of the field, for some reason. Her broken Korean and teasing nature muttered the name in an attempt to mock you and everyone started repeating after. You can't complain much about it. It stuck too well.
You take the shot and grimace at the bitter taste of alcohol. You're still not used to it even after countless team dinners.
Won Haneul, your roommate, best friend and goalkeeper, laughs at your expression. The other girls have already picked up their own conversation, yet she seems very entertained at your drunken state, “Unnie, are you sure you don't want to go?” You've told her multiple times to drop the formalities, it's a one year difference; she keeps refusing.
You look to your right and you (hardly) see her looking at you worried, but still smiling. It takes a couple seconds for you to process her words. “I… I think I should go.” You slur, you're sure you'll die if you take another shot.
Haneul nods, understanding as always. “Guys, I think me and Y/N unnie are gonna head back now!” You hear your teammates complain and whine but you can't make out anything they're saying.
“I'm too drunk!” You try your best to scold them, “And I have my last class tomorrow…”
A soccer scholarship didn't mean you were just in Seoul to play soccer and get drunk with your friends. You also had to study and attend classes, like everyone else. Maybe you would've had it easier if you had chosen Physical Education as your major. But no, you had chosen Media and Communication for some reason.
At least it was the last class before break.
“Go then! Quick! Get away!” You hear Jung Sunhye drunkenly shoo you two away. It makes you giggle. You wave goodbye to your teammates with your frail arms, it makes you look like a car rental inflatable. You hear a chorus of ‘sleep well’s and ‘Bye Y/N’s.
Haneul holds you as you walk out of the BBQ place, and then a cold wave of air hits you right when you realize you have to go up the hill to get to your dorm. You don't know if the chill you get in your spine is from the cool late night air or the dread of borderline hiking while drunk.
“Haneul, I'm sorry.” You don't even want to look at her in fear of getting dizzy. You're only a few steps up the hill but you're already breathing a little heavy. However, your apologetic expression is enough for her to understand your feelings.
“It's okay, unnie!” She's such a joy to have around not only as a teammate but as a friend. You hope her kindness never leads her to getting taken advantage of. You and the other girls would ruin the life of whoever could even dare.
“I'm really grateful for you, y’know?” You probably shouldn't talk while you're rapidly growing out of breath, but you're already sentimental.
“I'm flattered.” She says with a light laugh while pushing you from behind, making it easier for you to walk upwards.
“Are you going back to Suwon this summer?” You ask after a while of more heavy steps. Haneul had also gotten a scholarship and moved from Suwon to Seoul, therefore getting to be roommates with you.
“Mhm! Gonna go see my parents.” Her voice turns a little softer and you notice even when you're mostly out of your conscious mind. “What about you, unnie? Are you gonna stay here?”
It's been three years since you left your hometown and replaced the ocean with the river. Three years since you left your friends behind. Three years since leaving your mom and dad.
Of course you missed them. How could you not? It's not like you were avoiding them, the last summers were just filled to the brim with practice and studying and everything got tangled and you didn't even leave time for yourself.
That's over, though. You can already see yourself on the shore.
And then you're at the bus terminal. Hands shaky and heavy steps, just like the ones you took walking up the hill of your dorm building. You carry your backpack at your front and hold your gym bag on your left hand. You wait in line to step inside your bus and you think you're ready to fall asleep for the whole ride.
But once you're settled in your seat, your thoughts leave you restless.
There's a fear in the back of your mind that your friends will treat you differently when you arrive.
You've been gone for 3 years, and you talk slightly less now. But the group chat is still active, and you talk with them when you're allowed the time to. It's not like you've gone completely radio silent and disappeared from their lives.
It's just scary to be back.
But the scariest thing by far is the fear of being proven wrong. The fear of still liking her.
See, ever since you were a kid running around with a ball between your feet, you've had a crush on Kim Minji.
Neighborhood pretty girl. Class president in elementary, middle and high school. Best grades in your year. The most crushable girl ever.
You remember the first day you met her. You actually think about it a lot.
You were 7, playing soccer with your friend Gyuvin on the beach at sunset hours. There was no real goal to kick the ball towards, you were just trying to steal the ball from each other and keep it as long as possible. But then Gyuvin gets a little too close to taking the ball, and in panic you pass it to your right. 
But there's no one to your right. And you realize you've just kicked it towards three girls about your same age building a sandcastle.
You see the ball roll away further and further away from you and Gyuvin, and closer and closer to the castle, and the girls don't seem to notice.
You don't know why you're frozen. You could've stopped the ball by now if you had run after it. Gyuvin notices your lack of movement and becomes the one who shouts instead, “BALL!”
It seems to wake both the girls and you up from your daze, and suddenly you're running as fast as you can to catch the ball before it collides with the sand clump. And you manage to catch it.
You had thrown yourself into the sand, and the ball gets stopped by your arms. But your head crashes into the sandcastle instead. It doesn't collapse completely, and it didn't hurt that much, but it suddenly knocked you out for a few seconds.
You hear Gyuvin’s voice behind you when your mind is back in its place. “We're really sorry! We'll help you patch it back up!” You shake of the sand from your head when you sit back up, and you can finally take a good look at the three girls.
They looked pissed.
The smallest of the girls speaks, “I guess you can help. You're lucky it didn't fall on your head.” She points at you and you feel guilt engulf your cheeks with its warmth.
“Great!” Your friend helps you shake off some of the remaining sand off of your head, “Let's get to work, Y/N!”
You're confused at his enthusiasm, you were just playing soccer with him a few seconds ago and now he wants to build a sandcastle with some girls you just met? “But… we were-”
Gyuvin cuts you off, “It's the least we can do. We almost destroyed it.” It makes sense, but you're still a little reluctant. You grab a shovel anyways.
Your friend is already introducing himself when you start digging a hole into the sand, “I'm Kim Gyuvin! What are your names?”
The short girl with short hair that spoke to you before is the first one to answer, “I'm Hanni Pham! I'm from Australia but we moved here a year ago.”
“Your parents like fish, huh?” The boy's joke makes Hanni's mouth open wide and her eyes dilate a good amount.
“How did you know?!”
“I'm Seol Yoona.” Says a girl with a voice so quiet you have to ask Gyuvin what her name was right after she said it, “What did she say?”
“Seol Yoona.” He repeats, and you get back to digging with a nod, not before you give an apologetic smile to the girl.
The last girl introduces herself, “I'm Kim Minji.” You notice three things about her. Her voice is deeper than the other two girls, her eyebrows are really pretty, and she's wearing a blue clip on her hair.
All three of the girls are pretty, but if Gyuvin asks you later who you thought was the prettiest you are sure you'll say Minji.
Said girl notices you've been doing nothing but dig since you started introducing yourselves. “What's the hole for?” She says.
“I'm gonna put water in it to make wet sand. It's going to make it easier to build and harder to collapse.” And right after you say that you stand up, bucket in hand, ready to go and fetch water from the shining ocean behind you.
But just as you're about to go, the girl with the pretty eyebrows calls out again, “What's your name? You never told us.” Right.
“Han Y/N.” You tell her with a smile.
“Han Y/N.” She repeats your name back to you, like you're not supposed to know it already. It sounds pretty coming from her. 
The sunset glow crashes in the sea and bounces back into the eyes of the girl. You see them glisten as she looks into yours. Your heart starts beating as fast as it was when you were running around earlier.
“Don’t ever play soccer near my sandcastles.”
You look like an idiot, laughing by yourself in your seat. It's already night when you feel the bus stop in its tracks. You realize it's slightly warmer than when you departed, even at these hours of the night.
You're here. And you're not laughing anymore.
Everything you dread is getting closer by the second, and you don't want to face it.
It's been three years since the last time you saw your friends, since you saw Minji. Three years of only speaking to her in the group chat. Three years of believing you've gotten over her when in reality you were just getting distracted.
Because if you had truly moved on you wouldn't be worrying about moving on.
You step out of your bus and smell the scent of the ocean. Your worries fade away for the rest of the night. You'll worry about that tomorrow.
You're home.
It’s around 10:30 P.M. Knowing your parents they wouldn’t be asleep right now. They’re probably watching replays of soccer matches or some strange animal documentary. Even after three years you can tread lightly towards your home. Not much has changed.
The street lights are dim, and the wooden floor boards of the port are not much louder than the last time they squeaked beneath your feet. You take a picture of the moon watching over the dancing waves, then keep walking.
You wish you don’t run into any of your friends on the way to your house. It’s not like you don’t want to see them, but it’s late, and you couldn’t catch even a wink of sleep the whole ride. You just want to see your parents and sleep in between the warmth of their bodies like you did when you were just a kid. You chuckle at the memory.
You step into your neighborhood. Most of the lights are turned off, but you can hear a couple of things as you walk deeper into the block. Crickets, waves, and a couple different TV stations. 
You get closer to the neighboring house from yours. Gyuvin’s house. The lights in the first floor are off, but there’s a dim light coming from the window of the bedroom facing the street. It (probably still) belonged to Gyuvin himself. You don’t really know what he’s doing at this hour of the night, but you won’t bother him right now, even when you get the urge to text him something like ‘look out ur window’.
You hear the voice of a commentator from outside the door of your house. They were watching replays. Knew it. You think about what to do next. It’ll be too loud if you ring the doorbell, Gyuvin might notice you’re here and come around to investigate, And then you get a sudden, bright idea.
You set your gym bag on the ground and start typing your mom’s number to call her, clicking on her contact when it shows up. You take a big breath and wait for her to answer, it doesn’t take her long.
“Hello, baby! What’s going on?” There’s a twinge of worry in her voice but she always answers so happily when you call her. You chuckle deviously, mischief is about to begin.
“Hi mama! I sent you guys a surprise, I’m calling to make sure if the package arrived safely. Sorry about the time, by the way.” You try to mask the smile appearing on your lips as you talk.
“A package?” She seems confused, “I.. We didn’t get anything.” She sounds a little more concerned.
“Really? Can you check the door? Maybe it came late.”
“I don’t think it’d come this late, darling.”
“Just check, ma. Please.” You hang up. You feel a little sorry for leaving your mother bothered and confused, but you try to telepathically tell her it’ll be worth it.
Your heartbeat starts picking up its pace when you hear the door unlock. You put your phone in your pocket and pick your bag up again.
 When the door opens, the first thing you notice is your mom’s disheveled hair, probably from laying on the couch and watching TV. The second thing you notice is that her eyes immediately fall on the doorstep, and she frowns when she finds nothing. The third thing you notice is that, even before she realizes you’re there, she’s already taking out her phone to call you again, but she sees a pair of shoes in front of her before she gets around to doing that.
Her eyes travel from your old sneakers to the top of your head, and then they fall back at your face. Her jaw drops and her eyes look like they hold the moonlight in them when she realizes it’s actually you.
“Y/Nie…” She’s a little breathless when she says your name, and you laugh at the sound of rustling behind her. Your dad probably heard her.
“Hello!” You simply greet. Your father appears shortly behind your mother and you send a wave at him when you see he’s making the exact same expression as her. “Am I going to be outside all night? That’s how you greet your daughter?”
Your mother throws herself at you with a hearty laugh, it makes you happy too. “When did you get here?!” She asks, a little too loud for your liking, but you won’t complain. You pull away to greet your dad, who was frozen on the doorframe.
“Just now, actually.” Your father is in shock, but he does his best to hug you back, and the hug gets tighter when he finally understands it’s really his daughter. You giggle a little at his lack of words, then tap his back a little rougher when you start struggling to breathe, “Hey! Not so tight!”
He lets go and you hear him laugh more calmly now. “Let’s go in. Gyuvin doesn’t know I’m here yet and I want to surprise him tomorrow.” Your mom closes the door behind you, and then hits you on the back, quite roughly for your taste.
“How dare you not tell us you were coming?!” She rubs the same spot where she hit you when she hears you hiss at the pain, “It was a surprise!” You argue.
“Did you have dinner?” Your dad asks already in the kitchen, and your stomach growls even before you can respond. You giggle shyly at the noise, “I’ll take that as a no.” He says, “Go sit with your mom and watch TV with her. I’ll heat up something.”
“Oh, we’re not watching anything. You’re gonna tell me everything you’ve been doing.” Your mother taps the seat beside her on the couch, which you gladly take. “How was the season?”
You’re so happy to be back.
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You wake up with the sunrise.
You fully expected to open your eyes and be hugging your mom while your dad was already up in the kitchen. And that did happen, except you wake up with your back sore from falling asleep on the couch. Your dad is in the kitchen, making breakfast for you three.
You rub your eyes and yawn. It wasn’t that late, you woke up pretty early actually. 8:27 A.M. Maybe it’s because your body is used to waking up early. Your dad looks back at you and laughs at your messy hair, smiles brighter when he sees one of your mom’s arms sticking out of the couch. “Rise and shine!” He says brightly.
“Morning…” The sound of your croaky voice seems to wake up your mom, as she’s already rubbing her face.
“Smells good.” She says in the same tone as you. “Is it almost done?”
“I just finished. Come take a seat.” Your dad turns off the gas from the stove. The scent of kimchi jjigae fills your home, and it makes you feel a lot more energized even before having a taste of it.
You run your hand through your hair to try and make it more presentable. Your mother goes up to your dad to ask for a taste, he waits for her approval. You start setting the cutlery and it makes you think of the mornings before school, but rather than getting sentimental, you enjoy the moment with a smile.
“Y/Nie, do you want apple juice?” Your mom asks with the fridge open, you just nod as you sit down.
When the three of you sit down to finally eat, you start to realize how much you actually missed this. You spent your mornings in Seoul either eating a quick and not-really-filling meal, or eating an energy bar and a vending machine kimbap with your teammates before practice. You don’t remember the last time you had a hearty breakfast.
The sound of laughter and birds chirping combined with the smell of a home cooked meal and the warmth of a seaside morning couldn’t compare to any of the emotions that crossed your heart whenever you won a match. 
Your mom and dad gossip to you about your neighbors and everything you missed while you were away.
You don’t find it hard to believe when they tell you that the weird old man that used to drink his nights away at the port got arrested. One of your neighbors' sons dropped out of college to be a model, Kim Sunoo apparently. Good for him, you always thought he had a pretty face.
Supposedly, Minji keeps her title as the number 1 student even in college. You’re not surprised, but you do feel full all of a sudden. There’s just a little bit of stew left when you groan, “Ah… I’m full…”
Your mom raises an eyebrow, “Already?” She looks at your bowl and laughs, “Nevermind, you finished pretty fast.”
“Do you eat well in Seoul?” Your dad asks. You feel a little flustered at the question and stutter when you answer, “I mean… not in the morning, but I eat pretty healthily the rest of the day. Me and Haneul prepare meals when we have afternoon practice. I’d say we’re pretty good cooks.”
Your parents laugh, “I guess we’ll put you to the test one day.” Your mom nudges you, “And it’s ‘Haneul and I’, by the way.”
The correction makes your eyes roll as you stand up to wash your dishes, “Yeah, yeah, grammar queen. I’m gonna go take a shower and go to Gyuvin’s to surprise him, ‘kay?”
“Aye aye, captain!” Either your parents planned to do the same move and say the same thing at the same time beforehand, or they’re literal soulmates.
You get out of the shower and choose a simple outfit- some baggy, ripped jeans and a graphic tee that you found in your closet (you asked your mom if it was clean enough for you to wear, considering the closet looked a little dusty; she said it was fine). The shirt felt a little tight around the arms and it was quite smaller than you expected, but it wasn’t uncomfortable at all. If anything it made the outfit more interesting.
So you stand outside your friend's house, with nothing in your hands but a smile on your face. You’re not really sure if it’ll be him or his mom answering the door, but you hope either of them will be happy to see you.
You ring the doorbell, and immediately hear footsteps get closer from inside. You don’t know if your heart is going to race everytime this happens, but you just hope you get used to the feeling. The door opens and you're met with a familiar face, Ms. Kim, Gyuvin’s mom, dressed up and ready to go to work. It’s summer, though?
“Y/Nie?” She looks delighted to see you, and yet quite surprised. “You came back!”
You give her a bright smile after you bow in respect, “Good morning, Ms. Kim! How have you been?” 
She steps back in a manner to invite you inside, “Oh, I’ve been well, dear. Gyuvin told me you weren’t able to visit these past years. We all missed you very much.” Her words surprise you, and you feel a little guilt squeezing your heart for two seconds.
“I’m glad to hear that, Ms.” She walks around the kitchen, packing what seems to be a lunchbox into her bag, yet still giving you her full attention. “Are you heading to work?” You ask curiously.
“Oh, yeah.” She looks a little agitated, “They don’t give me breaks, baby. I work for the news now!”
“Oh! How has that been going?”
She stops in her tracks, “Honestly, quite great.” She says, and you both laugh together. “Does Gyuvin know you’re here? I imagine he’s who you came to see.”
“He doesn’t.” The woman looks quite surprised. “I wanted to surprise him. I arrived just yesterday.”
“Oh honey, you’re gonna give him a heart attack.” She laughs and you chuckle, “I hope not!” You say,
“He’s in his room. He’s probably still asleep, but he’ll wake up if you knock hard enough. Make sure he doesn’t think you’re me, then he won’t get up.” The woman unlocks the door, coat hanging from her arm and bag over her shoulder, when she sees you nod. “I heard you won third place this half, right?”
“That’s right, ma’am.” You proudly say.
“Go Tigers!” Is the last thing she says before she walks out of the door. What a charming woman. You smile at yourself before walking up the stairs to your friend’s room.
Knock knock. No answer.
Knock knock knock. A groan.
KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK. A louder groan.
“Kim Gyuvin, I will bust your door down.” You yell, “You think my legs haven’t gotten stronger?”
Fast stomps and the sound of a clutter of objects falling on the ground startle you slightly. The door opens so roughly you wonder if Gyuvin himself has also gotten stronger.
“Y/N?!”
“What fell on the ground?” You chuckle. He hugs you, possibly tighter than your dad. You didn’t quite expect it, but you welcome it anyway.
He pulls away like he’s checking if you’re not a hologram. You laugh the hardest when he pokes your cheek. He looks relieved, then mad. “Why didn’t you tell me you were coming?! When did you get here?!”
“I got here yesterday. You were still awake, I think. But I wanted to greet you properly, and I was really tired last night.” You explain with a little bit of remorse.
“Dude!” He hugs you once again, “Bro, I can’t believe you're back!” You hug him just as tightly. “I’m really happy I’m here.”
He pushes you lightly with a smirk, “Don’t get sappy on me.” He teases, “Congrats on third place, tiger.” You cringe at the nickname and push him back.
“Eww!” You both laugh, and you notice the bundle of things he has on the floor of his room, “You dropped all that?”
Gyuvin looks back, and pushes you out of his room, closing the door in shame. Unbelievable.
You hear him pick up the things and put them back in place, until he finally opens the door again. You’re right where he left you. “Get dressed. Your mom made you breakfast.”
“Wait, help me pick an outfit!” You’ve been here for less than a day and he’s already being annoying. Like always.
“Bro, I’m wearing a shirt that’s too small for me, I am not the one to ask for fashion help.”
“That’s your fault for getting swole!” You hear him yell while you go down the stairs. Maybe nothing's really changed.
You’re back at the kitchen. You look at the lonely plate at the table, it doesn’t look very appetizing. It’s not like it’s a bad meal, it’s an omelet and toast, but when you touch it it’s abnormally cold. Fuck you Gyuvin. He was probably supposed to wake up a while ago.
You take the plate and place it in the microwave, one minute should be fine. You open the fridge and snoop around to see if they still- yup, they still have a box of the triangle juice boxes you and Gyuvin always shared at school. Apple was your favorite. You’re sure he or his mom won’t mind you taking one while you wait for the food to heat up.
You take the little plastic straw attached to the juice box and stab it into the designated hole. Just as you close the fridge, you hear the shutter sound effect from a phone. You turn around and see Gyuvin already dressed up and smiling at his phone.
“Did you take a picture of me?” You ask. The microwave beeps, “That’s your food.”
“Check the group chat.” He says as he walks past you to the microwave. You take out your phone and rest your elbows on the counter when you open up the group chat. Gyuvin named it “Beach boys”, even when he himself was the only male.
You’re immediately met with a picture of you from your side, stabbing a hole into your apple juice box. You looked at yourself in the mirror this morning, but you only realize how tight the sleeves of your shirt look when you stare at the photo. “Damn…” You mutter
“Ow! Ow! Hot!” Gyuvin yelps as he walks beside you, plate in his hands. He sits down at the table while you scroll back up to check the other messages.
gyuv | 9:44 A.M.
guys Y/N got so swole its actually insane
sully | 9:44 A.M.
Well yeah shes an athlete what were u expecting
henny | 9:44 A.M.
did she post something on ig?
where is this coming from
minj | 9:44 A.M.
Good morning first of all
gyuv | 9:45 A.M.
yeah but ud expect her legs to get bigger or her thighs idk
tell me why this absolute gremlin has bigger biceps than me
i feel threatened
this feels like a bro code violation
henny | 9:45 A.M.
this feels more like you just being insecure
i checked her ig and theres nothing?
sully | 9:45 A.M.
Vin are you hallucinating be honest
minj | 9:45 A.M.
Why gremlin
If anything the gremlin is hanni
henny | 9:45 A.M.
literally so out of pocket
what compelled you to say that
gyuv | 9:46 A.M. 
[1 attachment]
henny | 9:46 A.M.
Gyuvin is that ur fuckign house
is that han Y/N in your fucking house.
minj | 9:46 A.M.
What the hell
You | 9:46 A.M.
hi guys!
henny | 9:47 A.M.
Han Y/N are you in gyuvins fucking house
You | 9:47 A.M.
possibly
gyuv | 9:47 A.M.
[1 attachment]
guys im shaking theres a uleague third place winner in my kitchen
im so honored
sully | 9:47 A.M.
Omg she did get swole
Hiii Y/N
gyuv | 9:47 A.M.
RIGHT
IM SAYING LIKE
U DONT EVEM USE UR ARMS IN SOCCER
henny | 9:47 A.M.
Y/N when the FUCK did u get here
im gonna start vrying omg
You | 9:48 A.M.
i got here yesterday at night
i wanted to surprise u guys but ig gyuvin got too excited
pham hanni DO NOT CRY
hi sullyyy !!
henny | 9:48 A.M.
ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS
You | 9:48 A.M.
stop cursing so much omg
minj | 9:48 A.M.
This is actually crazy
How could you say nothing to us
I feel lowkey betrayed Han Y/N
You | 9:48 A.M.
IM SORRY???
so surprises are the worst thing in the world now huh
gyuvs mom was so much happier to see me than you guys fr
going back to seoul
it seems im not welcome
henny | 9:48 A.M.
Y/N actually stop playing rn
where do we meet
You | 9:49 A.M
me and gyuv will pick u guys up
were going to the soccer field
but i got money from the scholarship so we can buy stuff on the way
gyuv | 9:49 A.M.
guys just to be clear i had literally no idea she was here
she showed up at my house 20 mins ago
sully | 9:49 A.M.
Omg we can go to that antique shop thats close to our high school
henny | 9:50
literally how r u so calm abt this
minj | 9:50 A.M.
Maybe ur just abnormal
You cackle loudly at Minji's last text.
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When you arrive at Yoona's house, she's already waiting for you two on her porch. She looks a little taller than when you last saw her. Her eyes light up when she sees you arrive.
“Y/N!” She runs up to you and hugs you so tightly your breath falls a little short. What's with everyone and suffocating you lately? “I missed you so much!”
“I missed you too, Sully!” You smile at her when you pull back, and the first thing she does is poke your arm. Her jaw drops in awe at the toughness of the muscle and it makes you laugh.
Gyuvin comes up behind you both with his arms open and a silly smirk, “Where my hug at?” It's quite awful. Yoona gags and sends him a distasteful look, which quickly shuts him down
You missed this. And it’s like this - full of banter and laughs - the whole way to Hanni’s house, the three of you take turns at making fun of each other, with the brief recurring tease at your job as an athlete.
Your friends like to brag about you being a college athlete, and a good one at that, but they certainly enjoyed sitting you up on a pedestal as a joke. They talked about you like you were the main star of the national team when in reality most people had little to no idea who you were even on campus, with the exception of the Yujin fans who tried using you to get close to her.
“Y/N, I promise you, when you make it on the national team, there’s gonna be a ton of fan accounts for you.” You’re in the middle of pushing Gyuvin away and blushing at his comment, about to contradict him when you hear a voice calling you.
“Han Y/N!” You don’t even realize you were already at Hanni’s house when you look towards the sound and two girls are waiting for you at the steps of a big house.
The first thing you notice is Hanni’s hair. She cut it, a fuckass (affectionately) bob that looked exactly like the one she wore the first time you ever met her.
The second thing you notice is that Minji is right beside her, already smiling at you. She stands up from the steps she and Hanni were sitting on and shakes off the dust from her pants. She wears a simple white graphic shirt and oversized blue jeans, beige puffer jacket hanging off her arms, and she looks so much taller than how she did when she was 16.
(That’s weird, shouldn’t she have stopped growing by then?)
The third thing you notice is your heartbeat suddenly racing when her eyes and yours meet for the first time in three years.
It beats at the same pace it did when the afternoon sun hit her face when you were 7. It beats at the same pace it did when you stared at her sitting by the window in middle school. It beats at the same pace it did when she sat beside you on the bus and fell asleep with her head on your shoulder.
Nothing has changed. Nothing at all.
It hits you like a bullet through your chest, but you try your best to ignore it as Hanni runs towards you. 
“You asshole!” She yells with a smile on her face, and it contaminates your lips when she hugs you. She doesn’t hug you as tightly, but it’s longer than you expected. When she finally pulls away from you you touch the short strands of hair that cover her ears.
“What happened here?” You ask, watching in awe at the striking change.
“I kind of had an existential crisis last night.” She responds shyly while caressing her trimmed locks. “Minji helped me make it look better. It did not look good when I did it. They didn’t know either!” She points at the two behind you, both of them with their jaws hanging when you look back.
“Dude, you literally look seven again.” You say. You don’t mean it in a teasing way, she genuinely looks younger, but you reconsider telling her that when she hits you in the arm. Hanni widens her eyes at the unexpected roughness, “What the hell… you did get swole.”
“Can we stop talking about that?” The topic of your arms is starting to tire you, but it’s mostly embarrassing, so you groan at the mention.
You hear Minji laugh when Hanni goes up to the other two and they immediately start touching her new hair. It makes you laugh too, but you gasp a little when you feel a hand touch your shoulder.
“Hey.” She says, her god-damned pretty eyes look at you so sweetly, and her voice is so soft, and-
“Hey!” You say before thoughts about her take up your brain and you awkwardly freeze.
She smiles right before she hugs you, and it’s surprisingly warm, but you’re sure most of it comes from your own blood rushing everywhere inside you.
Everything about her is gentle, her eyes, her voice, her embrace. It’s a complete one-eighty in contrast to the tightness of everyone else who’s put their arms around you for the past two days.
“I missed you.” She says so delicately, almost quiet, even if she says it right next to your ear. And you’re about to melt, and she has no idea, so you hug her back, a little less soft than how she does, and say “I missed you too.”
It comes out a lot more calmly than you expect it, and you internally praise yourself for not making a fool out of yourself. It’s not like you want to pull away, but you might start sweating if you don’t.
You take your arms off her back and her warmth suddenly fades away. When she looks at your face again, there’s a small grin painting her lips, “Congrats on the win.” She pokes at your shoulder and you laugh at the gesture.
“It’s only third place. I want first.”
“Oh wow!” Her amused smile makes you dizzy, “Didn’t know you were so ambitious.”
“People change, I guess.” You giggle with her. But you haven’t really changed at all.
“Well, you better get first place, tiger.” She teases and you groan even louder at the nickname as you get away from her to join your friends. Maybe getting over Minji won’t be so hard.
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Getting over Minji is going to be fucking impossible. Matter of fact, you're sure it’s never gonna happen. You’re going to be 45 and still think about her, and it’s going to slowly kill you.
You stare as she holds a little cow plush in her hands, inspecting it carefully. Her round eyes shine just like the glossy buttons of the doll. You think of a believable excuse before you take your phone out of your pocket and open the camera app.
You zoom in and despise how your fingers tremble before you snap a photo of the girl, unbeknownst to her.
Gyuvin comes up behind you, his voice is quiet yet it still startles you, “What’s the pic for?”
You look at him with widened eyes and bring your hand to your chest. “Just… memories.” Truth lies within your (not quite) excuse. “I want to look back on things like this when I go back to Seoul.”
The boy narrows his eyes at you and smirks, “So sappy.” He teases, so you zoom out the camera to 0.5 and take a bad close up of his face, “Hey!” He laughs.
You get away and put your phone back in your pocket to look at more of the items in the store. Many things catch your eye, small, shiny, weird, big, you could buy it all if you had the money to.
You walk around the shop, your eyes examine all the items on the old wooden tables and your fingers lightly brush on some of the more eye-catching trinkets. You stare at the little ceramic figurines of dogs and cats and other animals and mentally consider buying the little calico cat on the far left.
There are some cute keychains with little black and white designs as you pass by. You add them to your roster too. Hanni’s voice catches your attention from a few steps away.
“Y/N! What do you think of this cardigan?” She’s in the clothing section of the store, sporting a vintage cream colored wool cardigan with little brown stripes on the sides of the sleeves. It’s a little big on her, but oversized is trendy so it’s fine.
“It’s cute!” Your eyes glance towards some of the clothes behind her, “I like that one better though.” You point at the blue-gray checkered sweater behind her and she frowns in confusion when she looks at it, “Y/N, that’s so ugly.” Guess you don’t have an eye for fashion.
“Oh well…” You sigh and keep looking for more artifacts.
As you walk around, you accidentally bump the top of your head on some of the ornaments that hang on the ceiling, the sound of multiple wind chimes emerge a little before your quiet “Ow!”, which grabs the attention of Yoona and Gyuvin.
“You okay?” The girl asks in concern, but you can hear her hold back a laugh between her teeth. Gyuvin isn’t so subtle, his laughs resonating on the walls of the shop.
“Yeah, I’m fine.” You assure Yoona as you rub your forehead with your eyes closed, turned away in embarrassment. When your eyes open again, they land on an item that makes you freeze a little.
A small, pale blue hair clip. It looked oddly similar, if not exactly the same as the one Minji wore on the first day you met. The clip she lost on that same day while the five of you swam in the ocean together.
You remember her being so upset when she realized it wasn’t there anymore, so much she cried silently on the way back to your respective houses. She was over the sadness of losing it in less than a week, but it stuck with you after Hanni told you in a whisper that it was the first time she ever saw Minji cry.
You immediately take the clip in your hands, the first item you’re certain you will buy. Actually, you buy it in that same instant. Thankfully, none of your friends seem to notice your quiet purchase, too engrossed in their own item search.
The five of you spend around 40 minutes in total in that damn shop, and you could kind of tell the owner was getting sick of Gyuvin’s constant questions on how he acquired the items. “They’re mostly donations or things I find on trips. I don’t know anything else.” He says.
In the end, you bought a few more things apart from the hair clip. You did end up buying the little calico cat figurine, a silver necklace with a spiral pendant, a pack of stamps with really cool designs, and a love letter.
There was a cardboard box sitting on a chair in one corner of the shop with a sign that said “Old Love Letters, ₩300 Each”, and not only is it something you’ve never seen anyone sell before, but it’s also cheap. How could you not buy a chance to snoop around in unknown people’s love lives? 
You put your stuff in the little tote bag Yoona had bought for you. She said the design made her think of you (it had three monochrome fish painted over it).
Now you’re making your way towards the nearest soccer field. You used to play there all the time with Gyuvin, sometimes the other girls joined, or some of the other kids in the neighborhood.
The five of you walked with you right in the middle, like you were the center of a K-pop group. It definitely made you stand out to the locals of the neighborhoods you passed through, and some of them even recognized you and went as far as to congratulate you.
Did your parents tell the entire town about your rank in the league?
“It’s like I’m walking with a celebrity.” Hanni voices just as you get back from shaking hands with one of the old men of the neighborhood. As much as you enjoy the praise and congratulations, it’s a little embarrassing to acknowledge you’re gaining a lot more fame within this town. You imagine this is how famous soccer players feel everytime they go out in public.
“Microcelebrity.” You clarify, “Aren’t you an influencer?” You recall Hanni spamming the group chat one time in the first year of high school because one of her Instagram posts had gone viral. After a while of her videos getting more and more views, she started gaining a small following and could be considered a daily-life influencer.
“Yeah, but most of my followers aren’t from here so I don’t get recognized everytime I go out.”
“To be fair, this is the first time this has happened to me. My parents probably told the whole town about this.”
“Oh, they sure did. Even my mom found out.” Minji states, to your surprise. Minji’s mother was well known for not liking any sports at all, and it’s not that she hated them, she just wasn’t interested. She didn’t even know who Messi or Ronaldo were.
“Wow… I knew they liked to gossip, but that’s… crazy.” You scratch your nape shyly. Your parents are known for finding out everything, but you didn’t know they also told everything they knew.
“She didn’t really know what anything meant but she was very happy for you.” She says with a smile.
Oh! There’s a strange giddy feeling that shows up as a smile on your face you can’t hold back. You’re not really sure what to say, but you don’t even have to worry about it, because before you realize you’re already at the field, and when the boys that are playing there take notice of your presence, all you can hear is screams.
Sounds of “Y/N Noona!”, “No way it’s Y/N!”, “You’re back?!” get closer as the match pauses and they start running towards you. Most of them are your high school classmates, some are your younger neighbors or underclassmen you played with during recess.
You get closer and they bombard you with hugs and questions, with countless reminders of how much they missed you. One of them complains about you not answering his texts, and another boy defends you by excusing your forgetfulness on being busy.
“Okay, okay. I’ll make it up to you with a match, okay?”
You end up playing for two hours straight, the first half with your friends as a team, but after a while it seemed like the only one with energy left was you. Not even Gyuvin could keep up your pace.
“No wonder she’s an athlete.” Hanni says, fanning herself under the shadow of a tree that trespassed the field enclosure. Your friends were all sitting down on the ground, watching attentively at the match you played against the boys while chatting.
It was 5v1 and you were winning 4-2.
Minji watched carefully at the way you carried yourself on the field, so graceful and yet not passive at all, a different perspective compared to how you usually are.
There's a little bit of sweat that glistens on your forehead, and after playing for such a long time you only now start to look slightly tired. “I pray everyday she makes it to the national team and gets rich.” Gyuvin says.
“Same.” Hanni answers, laying down on a blanket over the warm grass and resting her head on her bag and it makes Yoona laugh when she grumbles at the discomfort of feeling all the crystals she bought on the back of her head.
The boys score another goal at you, so you decide to get serious and start playing like you would at a normal university match. Minji stares when you run faster and slide through the opponents so easily. She kind of wonders if she could calculate your speed mentally.
Field length = 55 meters, Penalty area length = 9 meters
You were around 9.2 meters from the halfway line and traveled around 18 meters in a straight line, Minji counts 4 seconds.
18/4 = 5 m/s, 1 m/s = 3.6 km/h, 5 * 3.6 = 18 km/h
Han Y/N’s speed in that one moment was 18 km/h.
The average maximum sprint speed of La Liga athletes was 30 km/h, according to an NLM article (don’t ask Minji how she knows that; she isn’t even studying medicine).
Suddenly Minji feels the need to see you play an actual serious match.
“I don’t think you need to pray.” She says with a smirk, standing up from the ground and wiping away the bristles of grass stuck to her jeans. “She has it in the bag.”
The others notice her taking out her wallet from her pocket, “Can you buy me a Fanta?” Gyuvin makes puppy eyes at Minji, even while knowing they never work on her, or anyone for that matter.
She gives him nothing but a wave and walks away, “She’s not getting you shit, dude.” Hanni kicks Gyuvin in the back with the tip of her foot and Yoona laughs at the scene.
The grocery store is not far away at all, only a block from the field, and Minji treads lightly with her mind made up on what to buy. A bag of chips and two glasses of apple juice, and maybe a strawberry lollipop for Hanni, NOT cherry, she notes.
The owner is an older lady who used to babysit Minji’s mom. She’s seen her countless times in her life so it’s easy for her to greet her brightly. “It’s been so long, Minji!” The woman greets her, her aged features morphing into a kind smile.
It’s true, it has been a long time. She doesn’t really come here that often anymore unless she’s taking a walk out of boredom or walking the neighbors dog when she’s out of town. She used to come here all the time when you all went to play soccer, but the matches got less and less frequent after you left, mostly because the only one who actually wanted to play was Gyuvin.
Minji makes her way to the drink section of the store and lights up when she sees the chilled glasses of apple juice right where she remembers them being. She was honestly surprised you hadn’t brought a water bottle with you when you left, and maybe just water would be healthier and hydrate you better, but she’d rather make you happier with your favorite drink.
(You would’ve been happy enough even if she just brought you water.)
The glass is cold when it reaches her hand, a nice contrast from the heat of the afternoon sun. She was starting to get a little hungry so maybe instead of chips she’d get a sandwich. Maybe she’ll get two.
She excuses herself in her mind, she’s not excluding her other friends! It’s just… this day is about you, of course her focus would be you. And maybe tomorrow. And maybe the whole time you’re here. She laughs at herself while walking up to the counter. She meant it when she told you she missed you.
“That would be ₩4,200 but I’ll give to you for ₩4,000 because I missed you.” The woman beams her a warm smile and Minji can’t help but return it. She hands her 4,200 won anyways and is out the door before the woman can complain. “Bye, Mrs. Do!”
Minji walks back with a smile on her face, the wind hits and blows her hair back. Some leaves and dust get blown her way too but she doesn’t have to squint her eyes because they already do that when she smiles. 
The sun isn’t as bright and the rays don’t burn her skin anymore. She hears louds screams just as she’s getting closer to the field, and when she looks through the gaps of the metal enclosure she sees Gyuvin running up to hug you while the boys you were playing with fall to the ground in defeat.
She missed your win. Minji puckers up her bottom lip and sighs, shoulders shrugging helplessly.
You hadn’t even realized she had left until you see her enter the field again, so you send her a light smile she almost doesn’t catch. She looks back to the other girls and when her eyes meet Hanni laying on the grass she realizes she forgot her strawberry lollipop. Oh well.
She sits down next to Yoona and takes her sandwich out of her bag.
“What’d you buy?”
“Just stuff. Nothing for Gyuvin.”
Yoona laughs at the comment. “The apple juice is for Y/N, right?” Minji nods as she looks at you tap the boys on the back to cheer them up, “You can have the other one if you want.”
Minji was just about to open the packaging of her sandwich when she sees you and Gyuvin walk towards her. She quickly stops her actions and takes the other cold glass from the plastic bag, struggles a little to open the lid, and just as you take your last step she holds the cold apple juice to your face, or the closest to it her arm could reach.
You’re a little taken aback, but luckily you don’t blush at her act. Instead you just smile at her, mirroring Minji’s own kind smile and take the glass from her hand. “Thanks.” You say before you take a sip.
Both of your hearts feel full, yours at the flavor of apple that fills your tastebuds and calms the thirst of running for hours, and hers at the fact she made you even just a little happy with such a small action.
You gulp down probably half the glass down and end it with a “Ah~” that makes your friends laugh. “You still do that?” Hanni sits up and rests her hands behind her on the grass.
“What do you mean?”
“You’ve done that since you were a kid.” Minji says and your eyebrows raise,”Really?” All your friends nod.
“I never noticed.”
Minji goes back to her sandwich as you and Gyuvin sit down in front of the other three. You’re tired now, but you don’t wanna lay on the grass because you say it makes you itch, so you try resting your body weight on Gyuvin, to which he adamantly pushes you away, “You’re heavy, Y/N!”
“What the hell, bro. I’m literally not?” You pout at him to try and get him to surrender but he just pushes you away harder every time you try to lay your back against him.
“Go lay on Minji or something, not me.” He says as he pushes you for the last time, you hear Hanni laugh.
You look at Minji and she’s already putting away the plastic bag she had on her lap. Oh, okay, yeah, no biggie. No problem at all.
You do a great impression of acting normal and move to sit next to her. “The shadow is better on this side anyways.” You fake whine at the boy as Minji grabs your shoulder and guides you to rest your back on top of her legs.
You turn your body so that you face her and hope she can’t tell your heart starts beating faster when you notice she’s already looking down at you. It’s a beautiful scene.
Minji’s face, the green leaves of the trees behind her and the sun peeking through the gaps, the wind blowing her hair a little to the side, the way her eyes smile at the same time she does. “Hey.”
“Hey.” You answer.
Everything about this is normal! You have to close your eyes so you believe it, and you start to after a few seconds. Everything about this is normal. It feels so normal and you love it.
It’s soothing. The wind caresses your face and you lose focus on the conversation your friends were having beside you.
And then Minji starts running her fingers through your hair and you lose focus on anything that’s not her.
Your heartbeat picks up for a few seconds and then it doesn’t. And then it’s all calm again. Your eyes are closed but your mind pictures Minji so vividly, smiling at you sweetly while her eyes. Her loving eyes.
God, you hope you’re not blushing, because you can already feel yourself getting warm all over. Thankfully, the gentle breeze is there to save you when you need it.
 And then there’s a moment where everything, the breeze, Minji’s hands caressing you, and the sound of playful conversation, all merge at the perfect moment and you experience a calm that feels heavenly. Almost divine, and it sends you into instant slumber.
You don’t really remember every detail of what you dream of, you just remember it being about Minji, Seoul and snow. Either way, you know it had something to do with her confessing her feelings to you after you win nationals. You remember that you froze after she kissed you, then called your name after she saw you not move.
“Y/N! Y/N!” You hear your name being called out, then your body being shaked roughly. “Y/N!” You hear loudly before you wake yourself up.
“Sorry!” You don’t know what you’re apologizing for until your body jerks away and your forehead almost hits Minji’s. “Oh, sorry.”
“You fell asleep.” She states the obvious with a giggle.
“No shit, queen.” You hear Hanni laugh loudly at your response. “How long was I out for?”
“It’s 5:25.” Yoona says behind you, only then you realize they were already packing up and it was time to go. Where? You have no idea.
“Shit. Sorry guys.” You sit back up and stretch your muscles before you can stand properly.
“My legs fell asleep, you know?” Minji announces, and when you look back at her she has a teasing smirk on her face.
“Yeah, well, maybe blame Gyuv for that.” You answer sassily, but you can’t help but feel a little guilty.
Said male goes to grab the tote bag Yoona got you and the half finished apple juice you left behind and holds the bag it to your face while you’re still stretching, “Hurry up, girl. We gotta go to the beach before sunset.” He throws the bag at you and you catch it just in time.
“Careful! I have a cat in there!”
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You arrive at the beach at exactly 6:00 P.M. and as soon as you get to the sand Gyuvin is already taking his shoes and shirt off. You look at everyone, confused on the plan you never actually listened to.
“We were going to swim?”
“Do you not want to?” Hanni asks.
“I don’t know…” You look at your friends with a sorry expression. You were already worn out from the whole match, and even after you slept a whole two hours on Minji’s lap, you still felt a little tired. “I’m kinda drained guys.”
“Bro… How could you?” Minji looks at you like she’s so betrayed and you laugh at her annoying little face that’s also so pretty and cute and annoying
“Bro… I’m sorry.” You play along. Calling the love of your life “bro” is crazy.
Okay, “love of your life” is an exaggeration (it’s literally not, in every sense of the word literally).
“I’ll watch your bags and take pics!” You tried bargaining, and they look at you like you’re crazy. “Guys, please, we can come swim tomorrow. The beach is not going anywhere considering we literally live beside it.”
Then Yoona gets real close to you and whispers, “You’ll pay for this.” then takes off her shoes.
“What the hell, man.”
Gyuvin and Yoona are already running at the sea and splashing each other, they don’t actually care about you not joining. Hanni hands you her bag with a strange force and you don’t know where it came from, “Take care of my babies.” She says.
“Your… babies?”
“My crystals.”
“Oh, right. I will.”
Minji walks up to you when Hanni walks away and hands you her jacket and another bag, this time plastic, “There’s one sandwich left in there. I told Gyubin not to eat it and I didn’t think he was going to listen but he did, surprisingly.” She tells you with a smile.
“Thanks. Very thoughtful of you man.” Alright, pack it up.
Minji sends you one last smile before she leaves and your heart beats when her eyes squint too. You watch her disappear into the waves and smile. You take out your phone and take a picture of your friends all swimming and playing in the water, their silhouettes clashing with the sun that was just about to set. It’s so pretty you make it your lock screen immediately.
You take out a blanket from Hanni’s bag, the same one she was laying on in the soccer field, and spread it on the ground to sit down. You take off your sneakers before they get filled with sand and take comfort in the warmth of the sand beneath you.
You stare at your friends for a bit, a beautiful picture presented just for you. You’re so happy to be back. Your stomach lets out a loud grumble before you even get to tear up. What a way to ruin the mood.
You take the bag Minji gave you and take out the sandwich. Ham, bacon, cheese, lettuce- oh, who cares. You take a bite out of it and it tastes like home. She definitely bought it from Mrs. Do.
It eases your hunger quite well. You hear the waves crash and Minji’s laugh from far away and, what a beautiful sound. What a beautiful person. You think of Minji and think of beautiful, not just from her appearance but her soul. What a beautiful soul.
You take your last bite and your stomach feels full, but you feel a little empty and can’t pinpoint what it is. You feel like you’re forgetting something. You reach for your new bag and search for whatever it seems you're forgetting.
Oh, right, the letter. Suddenly you feel excited.
The sun starts just in time. What a way to set the mood. You take out the white envelope and notice it still has some scent remaining. It kinda smells like something Minji used to wear, jasmine and liquorice. You didn’t smell it on her today, though.
You notice the envelope doesn’t have a sender or recipient name anywhere on it, nowhere at all. Maybe they didn’t plan to send it, or they changed the envelope at the shop. Eager to know more, you rip the envelope, careful not to damage the letter itself.
You take it out and take a deep breath to prepare yourself. You’re probably a little more excited than you should be, but whatever. You’re excited to intrude on a stranger's possibly failed love confession.
Except when you unfold the page, it’s not from a stranger.
You panic and fold the letter closed just as fast as you had opened it. You must have misread, right?
You open it again and the top says “Kim Minji, 23rd of June, 2021” like it’s a diary.
It must be another Kim Minji. There are hundreds of thousands in South Korea. It could be anyone. Anyone at all. So you keep reading in hopes it’s someone who’s not the girl swimming in the sea just a few meters away from you.
Dear Y/N,
It’s not a stranger. It’s Kim Minji. Your Kim Minji. You’re reading an old love letter from Kim Minji. You bought a love letter from Kim Minji for 300 won.
Wait, why is it addressed to you?
Now, you’re more confused than shocked. Now, you have to find out. You were going to put it down and not read it to not intrude and break your own heart, but now you have to find out why on Earth the first two words are Dear Y/N written in Kim Minji’s handwriting. So you keep reading.
Dear Y/N, I hope this finds you well. If you’re reading this, I gave this to you on the 24th or maybe even earlier on a strike of confidence. I hope you’re not keeping yourself up to read this at midnight. I wanted to tell you something I’ve been keeping for a long time before you leave for Seoul. Maybe it’s a selfish thing to do, and it won’t keep you from departing, but I think it would be worse to tell you this through text and I can’t bring myself to say it to your face.
I have feelings for you. Real romantic feelings. I like you a lot.
I like possibly everything about you and it’s killing me that I’m so scared and unable to tell you. I don’t even know what I’m so afraid of, really. Probably rejection, but even if you did like me back I still have to live without you for four years. My wish of you coming to visit me will probably depend on how harsh your rejection is, but I’d still like to see you back regardless.
When you first told us you got that scholarship for Korea University, I was so happy and proud of you. In a perfect world I would have kissed you and told you how happy I was for you and maybe even gone with you. But it’s not a perfect world and I just told you “Congratulations!” and you’re leaving tomorrow, without me. 
I’m not one to take pictures, if anything that’s you, but right now I wish I had an album full of photos of you, of us, because I don’t know how I’ll make it without seeing you everyday. I think I won’t, actually. I hope you consider letting me borrow the photo album full of the countless pictures you take, even if they’re not of you they might fill the void you leave in my heart.
Anything from you will suffice, I think, but just your memory is not enough.
I kinda wish you could stay, but I also know you’re going to do your best over there and I hope you fulfill your dream of being a professional player. When you said you were going to choose to study mass communication I thought “that must mean she’s going to communicate with us a lot!” I hope it does. I hope you don’t miss us too much, but I do hope you miss me a little bit more.
I’ve never written a love letter before, if you could even call this that, so excuse me if this is not a good one, I’m sorry. I should probably state what I like most about you, but I don’t even know where to begin.
I love the way you’re driven to do your best even at the smallest of things. When we first met, you built us the best sand castle I had ever seen in my short life of seven years. The sandcastle was still standing when we went to visit it the next day.
You do your best at school, even when it gets hard for you, and I love that you’re not afraid to ask for help when you really need it. I kind of envy that if I’m honest. I hope you become the best student in your major.
I remember the time we babysat Ms.Yoon’s daughter and you were the only one who knew how to change her diapers and at what time to feed her. I also love how good you are with kids and sometimes it makes me think of very inappropriate thoughts of building a family together, but I won’t get into that because I don’t want to be weirder than I’m already being right now.
I love the way you always try your best to make me smile when I’m upset or stressed and even just the thought of you going out of your way to care is enough for my heart to melt. When I got sick in middle school while my mom was out of town you came to my house every day and made me chicken soup. I think that was the day I started thinking of you as more than just a friend.
I love the way you look when you put your hair up in a ponytail. I used to stare at you the entire time we watched you play during recess in middle school.
I love the way you’re clumsy and you’re never embarrassed about it. You always get up when you fall and you don’t pretend it doesn’t hurt when you scrape your knees. And I love the way you still try to smile when I’m patching up your wounds.
I love the way you always want the best for us and encourage us to be ambitious. I wouldn’t be on top of my class if it weren’t for you.
I love the way you like cats and they like you back. They always hiss at me unless you’re around. Maybe it’s a sign that we should be together all the time.  
I love the way you say Ah~ when you finish drinking water after playing soccer.
I love (you) the way you love apple juice. I hope you feel the same. – Kim Minji
P.s. if you don’t i also understand and you’re free to do whatever you want with this letter.
You have no idea at what point you started to tear up, but you only realize when a tear falls from your eye into the paper and blurs the ink in the last “Minji”. 
You don’t even process anything around you at that point. All you can think about is that Minji liked you 3 years ago and never told you and now you don’t even know if she still likes you.
No matter how much you think about it, you would’ve absolutely given her your photo album, if only the letter had actually gotten to you when it was supposed to.
“I saw you open the letter from over there, I came here to be nosy.” You can’t tell anything she says because you’re so entranced but you can tell it’s Minji’s voice. You freeze when she sits beside you.
“Is it any good?” She asks before realizing you’re completely paralyzed. “Hey, are you crying?” She touches your shoulder in concern, and it wakes you up a little bit, but the only thing you can do is hand her the letter.
She stares at you for a few seconds before she finally takes the page and mutters, “Oh.”
You don’t really want to look at her, and you don’t know what comes over you that makes you turn your head anyways. The red sun rays hit her face in a way that makes her tan skin glow. Her hair is damp and her shirt is stuck to her body but you don’t dare to look.
She’s clearly just as shocked as you are to see the object in her hands. And she still looks so beautiful. “Y/N, I-” You wipe your tears and sniff before she turns and see them in your eyes.
“Was this the one you bought?” You nod, and she looks back at it with her mouth hung low. “I… was wondering where this went. I thought I lost it.”
“You didn’t send it? At all?” Minji shakes her head. Wow, this is so great. “Why didn’t you?”
“I was supposed to give it to you before you left. I was hoping it would make you stay, but then I thought I was being too selfish and… just didn’t.” There’s clearly some regret still left in her face and the wind starts to blow. You hand her the jacket you put down next to your friends’ bags. “Thanks.” She says as she puts it on. You turn away to look at the sunset and gather your thoughts.
There’s no expression on your face for Minji to read, and for some reason she starts getting worried. “Y/N… I- It’s been three years, you don’t have to worry about-”
“Do you still?” You ask while looking away at the sea.
Minji stays quiet.
“Do you?”
She still keeps quiet. You turn to face her.
“Please tell me the truth, Minji.”
There’s something about how the sun makes your eyes glow and how you say her name that sabotages Minji at not giving in.
“Yes.” She speaks out with a sigh, “I do. I still do.”
You don’t know if your heart is beating faster or slower, but you feel it beat stronger. You turn away to get your bag, Minji just watches, her eyebrows slightly furrowed in distress and curiosity. The only thing she wants right now is to know how you feel.
You reach inside your bag for something, and Minji can’t really tell what it is when you take it out.
Finally, you extend the pale blue hair clip in your hand, “I have liked you since we were seven, Minji.” The girl looks at the clip then at you, her round eyes widened in disbelief.
“Are you serious?”
You hold your hand closer to her, urging her to take the gift before you sniff once again, “I saw this and thought of you. It looks like the one you had when we first met, that’s the day I started liking you. I haven’t stopped since.”
Minji takes the clip from your hands and feels herself tear up, says nothing, stares at it, then stares at you.
“We’ve known each other for thirteen years and I’ve loved you for thirteen of them.”
“I had no idea.”
“We had no idea.”
“We knew nothing about everything.” It’s now Minji’s turn to sniffle but still smiles as she wipes away the tears that threaten to fall from her eyes.
“How could you never say anything? Thirteen years, Y/N.” Minji complains while caressing the blue clip in her hands like it’s a precious stone. “Thirteen.”
“I got distracted with soccer.” Minji laughs with you and pushes you away by the shoulder. “Every goal I’ve ever made has been for you, though,”
“That’s so cheesy.” Minji giggles to herself as she pops the clip open and places it on her hair, it snaps shut with a ‘click’. “What do you think?” She says, turning to you. She tries to ignore your eyes and how sweetly they look at her.
“I think I love you more than I love apple juice.”
That’s the last thing you say before Minji smiles and gets shy, she looks away but her hand searches for yours and you help her by placing yours over hers. She fights back by taking it back and placing hers on top of yours. It makes you laugh.
The sound of your laugh takes her attention and now she stares directly at you, a smile on her own face. Her cheeks now take a reddish color, and her eyes shine like the reflection of the sunlight on the water. It feels like a deja vu.
You think you could stare at Minji’s face all day and not complain. You think maybe she thinks so too with how intensely she’s looking at you.
You raise your eyebrow when her eyes trail down from your eyes to your lips, and she seems to notice when your lips form a smirk. “What?” She giggles at herself, her already red cheeks turn an even darker shade.
“I saw that.”
“Weren’t we about to?”
“So straightforward, You should’ve been like that when sending that letter.”
“Oh my god, shut up.”
Is the last thing she says before she leans forward, she hesitates a little bit and her eyes go from your lips to your eyes, a shine of expectancy as if asking for permission, even when she already has it.
She’s about to close the gap when the both of you hear a chorus of gasps from the sea. It takes your attention. Hanni, Gyuvin and Yoona are all pushing each other giggling and gasping, hands on their mouths. You hear a faint “It’s finally happening.”, You can’t tell who it’s from though.
Minji is visibly annoyed, yells “Look away!” and it bounces in the waves. It’s actually insane how dumb she looks, red cheeks, furrowed eyebrows, pouty, perfect lips. It takes you everything to control yourself and even then you still can’t help grabbing her face gently and turning it towards you to finally, once and for all, kiss her.
You don’t really care if your friends actually turned away or not, because you can’t really tell with how glorious it feels to kiss Minji. It almost feels holy. You feel like you died and went to heaven in five minutes.
It’s a new feeling, a new experience, and it feels so familiar at the same time. Like flowing with the waves, like dancing with the wind, like drowning in apple juice, drowning in love.
Your lips dance like that for a while. At one point Minji’s hand goes up to your face and it’s such a warm feeling it makes you smile into the kiss. You start running out of breath and you don’t even notice. You could die happily if it meant dying with Minji’s lips on yours.
But then your stupid survival instincts kick in and it’s such a shame you have to pull away.
Both of your breaths are heavy and you burst out in laughter at the same time when your eyes meet. When your laughs die down your eyes fall on the pale blue clip that adorned Minji’s head. “You look so cute.”
“Says you.”
And then you hear cheering from the beach again. “Finally!” Hanni yells. You watch in astonishment, “Did she know?” You ask Minji while the both of you watch the three of your friends jump up and down in the water.
“I have no idea. I didn’t tell her. She might’ve noticed.” The cogs start to turn in your brains.
“They all did.” You and Minji say at the same time, then laugh at the same time. What a friendship of thirteen years does to you. And when you see Gyuvin and Hanni get up from the water and get closer to you, you realize you’re about to be ambushed.
“Oh, hell no.” You mumble right before you stand up and grab your bag. Minji just looks at you confused, “Come on, get up. They’re wet.” But Minji doesn’t seem to cooperate.
“Dude!” You grab her hand and pull her up as you run away as far as possible from your friends. You don’t even realize where you’re going, but laughing with Minji while running on the sand at sunset feels heavenly.
You look back and Minji struggles to keep up. Gyuvin and Hanni don’t look anywhere close and they probably decided to just let the both of you go, so you stop running.”
“We…” Minji rests her hands on her knees as she catches her breath, “We didn’t have to run that much. I’m not the soccer player here.”
You send her an apologetic smile, “Sorry…” 
Minji now can stand up and breathe stably. She looks back and there’s no one behind. “So, where do we go now?”
“Home. You need to get changed or else you’re gonna get sick.” You walk towards her to touch her shirt, “It’s still damp.”
“Isn’t your house nearby?” She asks, “I live further away, and it’ll be night by the time we get to my house.”
You squint your eyes at her, “My clothes won’t fit on you, they barely fit on me.” You flex your bicep and the sleeve gets so tight it’s going to cut your blood flow if you keep it like that. “And I haven’t seen your mom yet.”
“And I want to have dinner with your parents.” She confesses. “My first official meeting with them as your girlfriend.” You never actually established that but it’s not like you’re going to refuse the offer.
“You’re actually so annoying, bro.”
“Says you, bro.”
“I’m your girlfriend, bro.”
“No shit, bro.” Minji holds her hand out for you to take it, and you gladly do. You start walking in silence for a little bit.
“Also, my mom won’t let us make out at my house.”
“Okay, that’s enough, bro.” You take your hand back and walk faster to get away from Minji. She immediately sprints to catch up and stick to you.
“I was kidding!” She tries to grab your hand but you refuse it and take it back. “Hey! Hold my hand!”
You look at her and wouldn’t you know, she’s making puppy eyes at you. It makes you give in, it never fails. “You’re so sticky.”
“You wanna know something?” She says as you start walking together again.
“What?”
“When you kissed me it tasted like apple juice.”
end.
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🗒️ probably one of my favorite things i've written i giggled a lot and had fun writing this.. there's probably lots of mistakes here and there but i beg u pls ignore it bc im dizzy i can't look at words anymore. Minecraft coming soon! love u guys 🫂
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eevees-hobbies · 6 months ago
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Milking the Serpent Hashira - NSFW
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Synopsis: Sometimes you just want to throw that ass back on a nice, thick dick.
Content Warning: Female ReaderXObanai Iguro. Straight smut. Minors Do Not Interact.
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Turquoise and poppy-colored eyes look down in utter disbelief as you, his sweet, innocent girl, throw your sopping wet pussy back on his dick. Your ass jiggles with each bounce as you desperately grip the bedsheets, begging him with each cry that you want—NEED— him to be deeper inside your achingly hungry hole. 
“O-Obanai, please! Fucking breed me!”
Your bounces are practically feral. Thunderously loud and wet smacks reverberate throughout the room and, more than likely, outside, but that is of no concern to either of you. Your bounces are so wild that when you throw yourself back and forth, pussy clenching from base to tip, Obanai can’t help but gasp at the cool air that licks at his cum-slicked dick—until your ass pushes back against his crotch again and the welcome and familiar warmth of your cunt makes him feel lightheaded.
And when you miscalculate a bounce—his dick slipping out of you with an audible whine from you both—you reach under your belly, grip his thick cock and guide it ever so slowly back into your mushy folds, earning a hissed, “good girl” from the Serpent Hashira as he pushes so deep inside of you that you see stars.
He places his hands on your ass, his grip creating dimples where his fingerprints press, digging one heel into the mattress for leverage and pistons into you, his pace strong and a bit aggressive, the smacking sounds turning into loud thuds as your body collides. 
Your core begins to tighten, signaling that sweet, powerful release you were desperately chasing as you press your mouth into the bed, calling out to any god that will hear you.
“Don’t you dare stifle your moans.” He wraps a firm hand around your throat and pulls your body towards him so your back is pressed firmly against his sweat-drenched chest. You can’t help but think about his hands wrapped around your throat, those same hands used to slay thousands of demons, those hands that would end the life of anyone who dared to look at you the wrong way, those hands that are rough, calloused and veiny gripping you firmly around your throat to remind you who you belong to. It’s enough to send you over the edge.
Your body quivers, eyes rolling toward the ceiling as your pussy clamps down around his dick in an attempt to take what you have earned and been begging for.
He grunts in your ear in return, losing control of his ability to last any longer as you quite literally milk him for every drop of his cum. His thrusts are still harsh but gradually slowing as his orgasm grips him. His softening cock slips out of you and releases the oozing cum that is now traveling down the back of your thighs. He pushes you forward gently so that your ass is once again in the air and pries open your pulsing and still-sensitive pussy, to admire his work.
“That what you wanted, my pretty girl?” 
No. You assure him that this is what you NEEDED.
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moonlight-records · 6 months ago
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slip (stream) into my heart | CL16 (sm au!)
pairing: charles leclerc x streamer!reader
summary: a certain ferrari driver has taken a liking to a certain streamer and sees his chance to finally start chatting with them
warnings: fluff!
fc: none
a/n: an apology for disappearing! life got hectic but im back! im gonna start cranking writings out! this is my first attempt at a smau via instagram, a bit short! texts and twitter coming in part 2
edit: yeah changed the title very slightly NOBODY PANIC
current stream | future stream
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yourusername
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liked by yourbffusername and 2,539 others
yoursername twitchcon you'll always be famous to me. thank you to everyone who pulled up to the meet and greet! you guys are so sweet 🥹 i have a lot of decorating to do
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user29 IM SO UPSET I DIDN'T GET TO GO NOOOOO
user4 it was such an honor meeting you!!
user30 literally such a sweetie irl! also your panel was so fun and thank you for the tips to baby streamers!
yourusername of course! im glad you had a great time!
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yourusername
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liked by charles_leclerc, yourbffusername, and 1,305 more
yourusername being a ferrari fan is NOT for the weak 🙅‍♀️ this weekend been stressin me out rn 😔 everyone manifest a charles podium with me 🙏
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user5 THEY'RE A FERRARI FAN SEND ALL THE PRAYERS
user30 god gives his toughest battles to his silliest gremlins fr yourusername liked this comment user5 FR user10 manifesting ferrari cooks this race
user29 i dont know anything but the circle will be started STAT
user23 YOU HEARD THE GREMLIN, PRAYER CIRCLE!
user43 PRAYER CIRCLE COMING RIGHT UP
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yourusername posted on their stories
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responses after the race
↳ charles_leclerc i didn't know you were such a fan of me it's a quite the honor
yourusername i am actually and i should be the one honored, you responded to me 🫣 charles_leclerc ma princesse, please you flatter me too much. hopefully i didn't disappoint you with only getting third yourusername you made it to the podium, so that's good enough for me 😘 charles_leclerc good 😊
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yourusername
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liked by charles_leclerc, yourbffusername, and 1,000 others
yourusername movie night!
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user10 HOWL'S MOVIE CASTLE!!!
user14 next movie for movie night! please!!
charles_leclerc howl's moving castle is my favorite movie
yourusername oh? favorite character, go charles_leclerc howl, obviously yourusername well, sophie's my favorite...so 🫣 charles_leclerc oh?
user5 OH?
user30 WHAT'S THIS?
user24 who's this charles leclerc guy? 👀
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yourusername 📍Monte Carlo, Monaco
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liked by charles_leclerc, arthur_leclerc, and 1,402 others
yourusername had to flex on the hoes before watching barbie 😤 reminder no stream this weekend but stay tuned for some goodies! 🤭
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user40 GET THEM HOES 💪💪
user30 MONTE CARLO MONACO???
user5 GREMLIN IS IN THE HEART OF CIRCUIT DE MONACO?! DURING MONACO GP?! user30 YEEEP user84 are they going to the monaco gp?! user30 OMG OMG OMG AND BOTH CHALRES AND ARTHUR LIKED THE POST!!!! user5 WORLD'S COLLIDING?! DO WE GATE KEEP? WE SHOULD GATE KEEP RIGHT!!!
charles_leclerc welcome to monaco!
yourusername thank you 😊 user5 OH MY GOOOOOD user30 WHAT IS HAPPENING?
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yourusername 📍Monte Carlo, Monaco
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liked by charles_leclerc, carlossainz55, and 2,405 others
yourusername "money money money, must be funny, in a rich man's world" 💵🍾 monaco gp, im here ❤️
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i-hate-accidents · 7 months ago
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i hate accidents: the beginning
femme!reader x benedict bridgerton, femme!reader & the bridgerton family, femme!reader & penelope featherington
summary:  the adventures of a working class femme who befriends a fellow writer, a boisterous family, and a bewitching second eldest son
sections:  I. the beginning / II. the between / III. the ball
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y/n:  bipoc, she/her, afab, nonbinary femme, queer, working class, of immigrant parents
content warnings:  classism, mentions of financial survival, microaggressive sexism, microaggressive gender assumption, positive/supportive families, allusions to alcohol abuse in [I.viii]
word count:  13.9k (of 38.8k)
story context:  everything in s1 and s2 of the tv series is canon for this story except for the s2 epilogue with the bridgertons.  this story takes place leading up to and into the 1815 season. 
additional notes:  this story is incomplete. scenes that are not written are described in chevrons <> with third person pov or are delineated by isolated ellipses. additionally, the author has only watched s2!  she has not watched any of s1 aside from clips, and they have not read the books aside from quotes used in edits.  they have not yet watched queen charlotte.  the author kinda knows the gist of an offer from a gentleman; they are familiar with sophie beckett (and are excited to meet her/them in the tv series!).
author’s note:  this is the first time the author has written fanfic in 13-15 years.  :)  it is her hope that they have made some progress since her pre/teens.  additionally, this fanfic has been written, on and off, over the course of two years.  the author sincerely hopes you find some sort of joy in it, especially the readers who maybe hope to see themself a little more specifically in the world we so love.
reading tip: whilst the author is proud of it, she understands the intro to the first section is long. if you wish to get more straight to y/n and benedict's story, the author suggests jumping to [I.ii]. they won't be offended that you did heh.
𝄆 ⚘ ✸ I.i ✸ ⚘ 𝄇
you do not know how you got here.
well, that is not true; you quite literally walked from the markets and followed the directions that penelope had given you, but you did not think those directions would lead you here.
this is a mistake.  i must have taken a wrong turn, gone up instead of down, made a left when i should’ve taken a right. 
or perhaps this is a dream?  yes!  that has to be it!  a dream!  i must have lulled off and dreamt myself here, for whatever reason.  once i close my eyes and open them again, surely i will be at home, or the markets, or the workshop even.  surely!  
so, you close your eyes shut.
you had been walking about the markets on your non-work day, some weeks ago, browsing the wares you wouldn’t (and couldn’t) buy, eavesdropping on any conversation of intrigue, observing the bustle of the crowd going about their day, mindlessly thinking of the next thing to write, daydreaming—when you had collided with someone.  they had let out a squeak, their materials flying out of their hands, as you had fallen on your back, thankfully not hitting your head.  in your periphery, you had seen how the person had crawled to your side and looked at you with urgency and concern.
“i am so sorry!”  their voice was pretty.  sweet and lovely.  you lifted yourself up a bit to see the person you had collided with.  they were also pretty— beautiful, red-haired, and hooded in blue.  
their eyes widened.
“er, i meant,” they spoke again, but this time with an— irish accent?  their voice was still sweet and lovely but very distinctly irish and distinctly different from their voice mere moments before. “are you hurt?”
“i am all right, thank you.”
“very well,” they said, still in their irish accent, “then i must be going—”  and they shot themself up and turned, you assumed, to run away.
“wait!  you’re a writer, yes?”
as you had hoped, the person in blue froze.  they slowly turned to you again, apprehension and intrigue in their eyes.
“how do you know?”  their voice was mangled between their two accents.
“unless you pluck birds for fun,” you stated as you collected the scattered materials they had dropped in the collision, “these are quills.”
you stood up, approached them, and held out their quills to take, offering a smile.  the stranger took the quills and put them in their bag.  they returned their eyes to you and returned your smile.
“thank you,” they responded in their english accent.
“i know how precious those are, so i am very glad to see they won’t go to waste.  well, they wouldn’t have gone to waste either way; i would’ve taken them if you hadn’t turned around.”
that caused the person in blue to laugh.
“i assume you are a writer?” they inquired.
you don’t know what had overcome you; you don’t know why you had been so trusting of this stranger, especially with something such as your writing, but you had been. you reached for your then most recent, folded up quarto, kept between your bosom and your blouse, and offered it to the stranger to read.  they took it, shifted their eyes from line to line, turned it to read the crossed lines, and then looked up at you, beaming.
“this is brilliant!— oh, forgive me; i did not even ask for your name.”
“y/n,” you extended your hand.  “and you?”
the stranger seemed to stiffen but quickly relaxed themself, taking your hand in theirs and shaking them.  they beamed still, but something of their smile had grown quietly mischievous.
“can you keep a secret?”
when you open your eyes, you huff out a breath in a poor attempt to assuage yourself from the reality of your situation:  you are not dreaming.  here you are—you—at grosvenor square.  
you knew of your friend’s circumstances as she had shared it:  she is a noble lady, a third sister of the featherington family, who has been writing scandal sheets of high society’s romps and happenings since her ‘debut,’ as she had put it (you hadn’t understood how she had used that word and became further confused upon her explanation of it), under a pseudonym called lady whistledown.  penelope has been kind enough to let you read her sheets, and you find it ridiculous what these high society persons do for their lives and utterly brilliant with what wit, snark, and compassion even penelope commentates on that world.  
but you did not ever, ever think that she would bring you to it, let alone into it.  when penelope had said that you were to meet her most beloved friend, you had thought it would be in an obscure alley or a room hidden behind a bookcase in an unassuming shop—not the literal neighborhood in which she, and presumably her friend, lives!  by your posture, by your clothes, by your very existence, it is blatant how much you do not belong here.
i should run.  i am going to run.
and so you turn and start—
“y/n!”
—when you hear the sweet voice of your friend.  you scrunch your eyes closed, inhaling and exhaling through your nose, and turn around and see penelope in a picturesque green dress, lifting up her skirt with gloved hands, scurrying down the pavement of her neighborhood towards you, beaming.  despite the anxiety that rages within you at this very moment, your heart swells upon seeing your friend in such enthusiastic spirits, and you smile despite yourself.
“good day, pen.”
she takes hold of your bare hands in her gloved ones and gives them a squeeze.  perhaps she can discern your nerves because you start to feel yourself calm ever so slightly by her gesture.
“i am so glad you are here,” she says.
“i am—— glad to see you,” you then lower your voice.  you do not know why; it is not as if your lowered voice will help conceal your existence in this place.  “are you certain i am permitted to be here?”
letting go of your hands, penelope swats at the question.
“the bridgertons and i care not about such things.”
“the— bridgertons?” 
“yes!” she turns and gestures to the grand brick house with wisterias.  “it is at their home, after all, in which we will be spending our time together.”
your jaw drops.
“we are staying inside the house?  not simply meeting outside the house?”
this is not a dream.  this is a nightmare.
penelope returns her eyes to yours, and it startles you with what tenderness she gazes at you.
“i understand that you are fearful, y/n.  i had presumed you would not have come if you had known we would be here.  but i would not have led you to bridgerton house if i did not think you would be safe here.  the bridgertons are the most inviting, kindly family of the ton— of high society,” she amends upon seeing your confusion at the word ‘ton.’  their name for their world, it seems.  “eloise has assured me that we shall be in her bedchamber for the entirety of our time together.  and if you wish to leave, for any reason, at any point, i shall accompany you, and we shall leave together.”
with closed eyes you heave a sigh through your nose.  you flutter your eyes open and offer penelope a weak, but sincere, smile.
“very well.”
penelope squeaks in excitement, taking hold of your hand once more, giving it another squeeze of encouragement, and leads you towards this bridgerton house as she so called it.  she raps at the stately door thrice with great eagerness, seeming to knock in perfect tandem with your beating-too-quickly heart.
an elderly man opens the door, about to greet penelope and her guest, when a young femme shoves herself through the opening.
“thank you, giles!” she calls out as if the man is across the road and then looks at you, ferocity in her eyes.  it ought to unnerve you, the whirlwind force of this stranger, but it doesn’t.  you just return her gaze with a large, albeit a bit bemused, smile.
“penelope has shared so much about you,” the stranger states and takes hold of your hand.  “let us get inside!” and yanks you into the house.  she turns, looking straight ahead, and barrels forward, pulling you with her.
as the fiery femme seems to soliloquize excitedly to herself, you look back at penelope who merely wears an amused smile at her friend’s antics as she follows behind.
“oh!” the femme exclaims suddenly.  she halts you both and sharply turns to you, still gripping your hand, grinning.  “my name is eloise.  eloise bridgerton.”
“y/n y/l/n.”
“excellent.  now!  with introductions all sorted—”
and she turns and barrels you both right, rather than heading straight ahead to the grand staircase as you had presumed she would.
“eloise—” eloise’s fervency had provided a reprieve to your anxiety, but the confusion in penelope’s voice puts you back ill at ease, “where are you—”
“it’ll take just a moment, worry not, pen!”
eloise leads you down a hall, noises and voices of all sorts coming from an entrance to a room, growing louder and louder as you approach until they reach the peaks of their volume as eloise halts you both once more, to your mortification, at the entrance of that very room.
“family, penelope, y/n, and i shall be in my bedchamber.  we have much to discuss.  please do not bother us,” eloise proudly announces to the entirety of the room.
silence falls.  all eyes—and there are many eyes—are on you.
oh, my god.
you turn to penelope.  her overall manner is calm and composed, but you can see the disquiet in her eyes.  she peers into you, the apologetic look conveying, i did not know this would happen.
you turn back to the family.  
a lady.  a lady of older age.  two gentlemen with a difference in age.  a boy.  a girl, the youngest amongst them.  
how is it with a house this massive in the middle of the city that the entire family is present in this one room?  well, the room is the size of the two floors of your home combined, if not larger, so in that sense it is sound—but your question still stands.
this has to be the entire family.  surely.  there are so many of them.  this has to be the entire family.  yes?
“no talking, no music playing, no fighting?” inquires a droll voice walking into the room, “has someone—” 
you turn your head to follow the source of the voice and make contact with dumbfounded ocean eyes.   
butterflies flutter in your stomach.
oh.
shit.
“y/n, this is my second eldest brother, benedict bridgerton,” eloise states.  “benedict, this is my friend, y/n y/l/n.  do not bother us once we are in my bedchamber.”
he stares and blinks at you but then assumes a gentlemanly posture and bows his head.
“it is a pleasure to make your acquaintance, miss y/l/n.”
without any forethought you start to extend a hand to benedict until you hear penelope give a slight cough only you, she, eloise, and he can hear.  receiving the hint, you retract your hand and pretend to swat at your skirt.
“err— yes.  likewise.” 
another cough. 
“mis, ter?— brid… ger?—ton,” you articulate with complete and utter uncertainty of how this world’s introductions function.
he cocks his head and furrows his eyebrows at you, something like amusement playing at his features.  he wears a lopsided smile that he is barely attempting to conceal.  his expression should be infuriating.  and it is.  but, it is... charming, too.  and welcomed.
you have never felt more embarrassed or more pleased in your life.
shit.
“before the three of you retreat to eloise’s bedchamber,” declares an authoritative voice, breaking your reverie.  you turn away from ocean eyes and see the lady of the room approaching you.  much to your surprise, she smiles.  to an even greater surprise, her smile seems sincere.  “i must insist that i introduce myself and the rest of the family to our guest.  
“i am viscountess kathani sharma bridgerton, the lady of this house,” she curtsies with perfect elegance.  “it is a delight to welcome you to our home, miss y/l/n.”
“thank you for having me— lady bridgerton.  and you may call me ‘y/n.’  you need not use such, uh, formalities with me.”
“very well; then you may call me ‘kate.’”
you furrow your eyebrows.  she had introduced herself as ‘kathani’ but now asks you to call her ‘kate.’  it makes you think of mama and papa; they shared with you once how they had chosen to go by different names upon emigrating to england.  when you had asked why, they simply replied that it would be easier for others in this country to address them.  
“may i call you ‘kathani’ instead?”
surprise flashes over the dignified demeanor of the viscountess.  she regards you with softness in her eyes.
“yes.  yes, you may.”
resuming her full composure, kathani guides you to the eldest of the gentlemen and introduces him as her husband, viscount anthony bridgerton, the lord of the house.  he offers you a small smile with a bow of his head and greets you ‘good day.’  you try not to wince at his decorous use of ‘miss’ with your first name, but you suppose it is merely in these people’s natures.  
kathani continues and leads you to the lady of older age, introducing her as dowager viscountess violet bridgerton.  she dips into a lovely curtsy and, on her rise, gazes upon you with a gentle smile.  you feel compelled to respond in kind, but it would certainly not be as graceful as hers, and worse, she may interpret your slovenly attempt as a lark.  so, you refrain.  
the viscountess next introduces you to mister colin bridgerton (you summon all your self-restraint to keep your countenance neutral—this is the boy who hurt penelope); then to mister gregory bridgerton (he bows so ceremoniously towards you, you cannot help but be endeared by his resolve); and lastly to miss hyacinth bridgerton.
“why are you dressed like that?” she inquires.
“hyacinth!” the dowager viscountess reprimands.  she must be her mother.  she sounds like a mother.  it reminds you of how your mama reprimanded you and your siblings as little ones; the memory and the exchange make you hold back a laugh.
“what!  what did i say wrong?”
you ought to feel self-conscious, your lower standing brought into further display to everyone in the room, but you detect neither malice nor judgment in the young girl’s voice.  just genuine curiosity.  so, you smile.
“my family and i have different means to clothes, amongst other things.  i wear these when i work or go about my day.  though,” you regard your attire and then— hyacinth?, feeling the glimmer in your eye, “it makes for running around and playing make-believe quite easy.”
“make-believe!  gregory, do you hear that!  miss!— miss—“ she turns to you with a cocked head.  
“y/n.”
her eyes shine once again.
“miss y/n plays make-believe!  we must play!” hyacinth latches onto your hand and, with remarkable strength for a child who cannot be older than two and ten, pulls and drags you towards the entrance of the room.  “come along, gregory!  wouldn’t want to be the last one there!”
“no fair!  you cheated!” the second youngest shouts back, dropping all previous ceremonies, and scrambles towards the entrance.
“hyacinth!  y/n is not your playmate!  she is here with me and penelope!”
“plans do change, dear sister,” hyacinth retorts.  eloise’s jaw drops, and the rest of the family bursts into laughter.  the entire exchange warms your heart.  in so many ways, they are so proper, so wealthy, and yet they are not all so different from your own family.  they seem to really care for one another.
“when did you get so smug!” eloise shoots back.
“small wonder where she could’ve learned that from,” you hear colin, the traitor, murmur.  turning your head, you see him give amused, pointed looks to eloise and kathani.  the latter grins wickedly, and her husband beams at her with pride. 
“there are only so many hours in a day!” hyacinth complains.  you face her once more, still holding her hand.
“what about this?  i will play with you and your brother for an hour, and then i will be with your sister and penelope for my remaining time here.  i want to honor the wishes of each of my new friends.”
hyacinth considers this with much theatricality to her expression.  she then grins.
“that is an excellent plan,” she remarks, looking to eloise for her thoughts.  you follow her line of sight.  eloise rolls her eyes and sighs, but a smile rests on her lips.
“very well, then.”
feeling peace restored, you smile in return and, in doing so, in your periphery, catch the ocean eyes of the second eldest brother.  benedict.  he is looking at you.  why is that?  you feel your cheeks flush and the tips of your ears heat.  his gaze is somehow gentle and intense and indecipherable all at once, and the flutterings in the pit of your stomach grow, and intensify, and start to overwhelm you—
when you are tugged back to reality with a tug forward.
< hyacinth leads y/n through the house to the gardens with gregory by her side.  y/n is both uneasy and in awe of the things she sees.  eventually, they arrive in the gardens.  y/n notices two swings hanging off of a large branch of an old tree and is utterly endeared by the sight; it confirms what she has been thinking:  though the bridgertons are wealthy, they are warm and welcoming.
< just as hyacinth declares that she has found a suitable spot for make-believe, two male voices ask if they may join.  hyacinth, gregory, and y/n turn and see benedict and colin approaching.  colin shares that though y/n seems lovely, it would be unwise of the family to leave the two youngest with a stranger; though y/n agrees with his family’s caution, she refrains from wanting to strangle the person who hurt her friend.
< gregory whines and asks if they can begin before eloise complains.  hyacinth agrees and says that they need to assign characters.  y/n suggests that hyacinth should be a sorceress and gregory should be a knight; these proposals delight the youngest bridgertons.  y/n volunteers herself as the villain and decides to be a banshee; she turns to the elder bridgertons and asks what they wish to be. 
< before they have a chance to respond, hyacinth proposes that benedict should be the princess who has been captured.  benedict indignantly asks why, and hyacinth simply states because he is the most sensitive of the family.  sensing how the sibling argument is about to evolve, y/n intervenes and suggests that, like a sensitive princess, perhaps benedict is merely in tuned with his emotions, even amidst adversity; it is, in its own way, a compliment.  benedict’s eyes become indecipherable upon the comment, but he wears a small sincere smile.  gregory then proposes that colin is y/n’s changeling henchman. 
< make-believe ensues, and it is very sweet and very silly.  eventually, gregory is called in for latin tutoring and thanks y/n for the fun with a deep bow; hyacinth is called in for pianoforte lessons. >
hyacinth launches herself at you with a hug.  pulling back from the embrace, she beams.
“we must continue when you return next!”
before you can even start to reply, she turns and skips off towards the house.  you hear how gregory makes a comment about coming in first, and suddenly the youngest bridgertons are in a race against one another, shouting taunts and insults.  you can’t help but smile.
“they seem to quite like you.”
your smile falls.  you turn and face towards the two elder bridgertons, the traitor being the one to have spoken.
“colin bridgerton,” you begin, “yes?”
he smiles and nods.  you surge forward and shove your finger into his face, his smile now wiped.
“if you ever hurt penelope again, i shall make certain that it is the last time you ever do.  do i make myself clear?”
when he does not respond, you repeat yourself, and he slowly then quickly nods.  satisfied, you turn towards ocean eyes and point your finger at him.
“and you look after him.” 
“what did i do?”   
“be a proper elder brother and serve as an example for your misguided sibling.  understood?”  
“i— yes.  of course.  understood.” 
you smile again.
“wonderful.  i am glad we three are in agreement.  it was good speaking with you, gentlemen.  good day.” 
you turn away and start to walk towards the house.
“i quite like her too,”  and you hear the restored smile in the third bridgerton’s voice.  “what about you, brother?”
you hasten your steps towards the house.  though mere moments before you had felt emboldened and brave, you fear hearing benedict’s response.  you do not why.
< eloise, penelope, and y/n extensively discuss literature and writing; upon talking about women writers, y/n shares how she does not fully see herself as just a woman. >
“so, what are you?”
you wince.  you have kept good on your promise and joined eloise and penelope in the former’s bedchamber, but you are swiftly wishing you had been able to stay with hyacinth, gregory, colin even, and benedict.  you had attempted to explain an aspect of yourself to eloise but not to very much fruit, it seems.  you want to hide and escape and run from this place—
“eloise.”
—when penelope comes to your defense.  
“what?  what is it?”
“perhaps you could have phrased your question with more tact and thoughtfulness.”
eloise looks between the two of you, concern flooding her eyes.
“did i— did i not?”
penelope turns to you.
“are you comfortable to answer?”
“i would prefer that i didn’t.”
you hope that your eyes are sufficient enough to convey the immensity of gratitude that you feel towards penelope in this very moment.
“y/n,” begins eloise, “i did not realize—”
“and what are you three gossiping about?”
you jump, penelope squeaks, and eloise growls a noise of exasperation.  turning towards the voice in the doorway, you are visited, once again, by the third and second bridgerton siblings.
“and what makes you think we are gossiping?” demands eloise, “because we are w— people?”
you feel the corners of your mouth tug upward.  at least she is trying.  wanting to keep the attention on benedict and colin rather than yourself, however, and with genuine curiosity, you cock your head at the two gentlemen.
“do you two always come in a pair?”
“not always,” replies benedict.  and he smiles at you, “today is merely a special occasion.”
stupid butterflies.
“speaking of such,” colin proceeds.  “kate has requested that the three of you join the family in the drawing room.”
< the five of them make their way to the drawing room.  kate shares that, on behalf of the family, she would like to invite both y/n and penelope to dinner.  though at first honored to have been invited, upon hearing “dinner,” y/n realizes how late it has become and looks out the window:  the sun is halfway set.  she apologizes and says that she cannot stay because she resumes work the next day.  her latter statement renders some of the people in the room confused, but kathani states how she understands and that y/n is welcomed to join dinner whenever she visits.  
< seeing how confused y/n is, anthony shares that y/n is welcomed to visit their home whenever she is able and whenever she would like, and the rest of the family pipes in with how delighted they would be if she does.  not knowing how she deserved such kindness from people who were mere strangers at the start of the day, y/n thanks the bridgertons and says that she would love to.  penelope chooses to stay for dinner and says that she will see y/n next week.  y/n affirms that she, and the bridgertons, will.
< kathani and benedict offer to escort y/n to the entrance.  y/n walks down the steps and passes the gate but, before she goes, takes one last look at number five until next week and sees benedict still in the doorway.  y/n notices, but reprimands herself for perhaps imagining it, that his smile grows when his eyes lock with hers.  with flutterings in her stomach, y/n offers a wave.  he gives a small wave back.  she turns and goes, smiling all the way home. >
𝄆 ⚘ ✸ I.ii ✸ ⚘ 𝄇
“benedict has been making more appearances as of late,” penelope remarks.
the three of you all look up—you and pen from your writing, eloise from her reading—to see benedict entering through the doors and heading towards the other side of the drawing room.  he looks over at you— at you all and offers a smile before he plops himself down onto a chaise and begins to draw.
“yes, it is strange,” eloise considers to the two of you.  “for so long he had been moping about, locked away in his bedchamber aside from mealtime or the occasional visit to the drawing room.  he’s even picked up his charcoal again.”
“again?” you inquire, averting your gaze from the artist to your friend.  “had he stopped prior?”
“he had entirely put it down after—” eloise sighs.  whatever memory she has recounted, it does not seem to be a pleasant one.  you look to penelope; you sense that she shares a similar sentiment by the sad look in her eyes.  you are curious but you choose not to press.  
“it has been quite some time since he’s last drawn.  but now, whenever i see him, whether in his bedchamber or the billiards room or some other room in the house, he’s drawing.  he frequently arrives to mealtime with charcoal stained fingers—much to the chagrin of mama and anthony.”
you all laugh.  benedict looks up at you three, and from here you can tell he wears a curious expression, no doubt wondering what you are laughing about.  when he exaggeratedly arches an eyebrow, eloise just makes a face at him.  benedict rolls his eyes, smiling, and for the briefest moment, you feel as though he is looking at you.  but you’ve always had an active imagination.  when you blink, he has returned to his drawing, a smile still on his lips.
“i wonder what has changed?” eloise softly says, still looking at benedict.  for all her fire and spirit, you see how deeply she cares for her second eldest brother.
“perhaps he has found a muse,” penelope poses rather than queries.  you shift your gaze from eloise to penelope, and you’re curious about her expression.  she seems... delighted?  benedict finding his passion for art again does sound delightful; you know firsthand how difficult it is to pick yourself up from a slump.  but that’s not what she seems delighted by.  she just looks at you.  with a soft smile.  why?  what does benedict have anything to do with you?
you feel your cheeks and the tips of your ears flood with warmth.  you don’t know why, but penelope’s expression unnerves you, in a pleasant sensational way.
you clear your throat.
“i am happy for him,” you say, returning to your quill and folded quarto, haphazardly writing down whatever words come to your mind.  
ocean.  charcoal.  smile.  flutters.
shit.
it is not until what feels like an uncharacteristically long moment later that you hear penelope resume her writing and eloise resume her reading.  you try not to imagine what they could have silently exchanged with your gaze averted.
𝄆 ⚘ ✸ I.iii ✸ ⚘ 𝄇
you suck in a sharp breath and shoot out of your seat.
“you do not!” you shriek, hastening towards kathani, eloise, and the stack of books they have just settled onto the table.  you had arrived early to the bridgertons’ home, at the invitation of kathani, so early that the rest of the family seems not yet to be awake.  
(which is strange, you find, as it is nearing 8 o’clock.  most mornings, at this time, you are already well into the bustle of work.)  
kathani had prefaced, rather enigmatically, that she and eloise had a surprise they wished to share with you.  you had your suspicions as to what it could be related to, and with each passing moment, you are suspecting, very excitingly!, that you are very correct. 
“indeed, we do,” kathani grins and gestures to the stacks.  
taking no hesitation to the offer, you grab from the top of a stack and open to the title page.
the dramatic works of william shakespeare.  vol. 2:  a midsummer night’s dream / the merry wives of windsor / much ado about nothing.
you shriek again, this time accompanied with hops of excitement, flipping to the final third of the book.
“much ado!  this is the one i’ve read!” 
dorothea, a fruit seller, had offered a copy of it to you (at a lowered price, she had emphasized) when she had learned of your liking to stories.  she grandly stated that she had started to write down the dialogue during low-attendance performances at the theater and then brought her handiwork to be typed and printed at a not-to-be-named press.  but if the pages’ handwritten annotations alluded to anything, you suspected that she had managed to purloin a performer’s copy of the script.  you felt a bit of pity for the poor performer who misplaced it, but you respected, and still respect!, dorothea’s moonlighting. 
you shoot your head up from the book and are greeted by the grins of your two friends.  “which one has romeo and juliet?”
this past autumn you had overheard several candlemakers at the markets animatedly discussing the ‘incandescent’ portrayal of the titular character by an actress from ireland.  a performance, described as ‘incandescent’ by candlemakers!  embodied by a storyteller who has emigrated here!  hearing all those wondrous things made you insatiably curious to one day read the text that made such wondrous things happen.
“i believe,” eloise says, pulling the second from the bottom of a stack, “it is this one.”
you twitch your fingers; you have to refrain yourself from snatching the book from your friend’s hand.  when it is in yours, you open to the title page and feel your eyes, along with your smile, widen.
“it is, it is!  oh, this is extraordinary!”  you flip furiously to your desired page and, once you find it, start to read,  
prologue.  two households—
—when you hear kathani say, “we had thought of starting with that one.”
that makes you rip your eyes away from the words and look up at the two ladies.
“‘starting with’?”
“when eloise, penelope, and i learned of your eagerness to read shakespeare,” elaborates kathani.  her saying that makes you flush; you had not realized with what apparent enthusiasm you had spoken of the poet.  “the three of us had discussed that the four of us could read his plays together.  if you would like, of course.”
your jaw drops.  you cannot help the squeal that emits from your mouth.  hopping once again in your excitement, you throw yourself at your friends and wrap your arms around them both.
“if i would like!  i would be delighted!”
you pull back from your hug with the two ladies and are greeted by gleaming eyes and wide grins.  you feel how your expression matches theirs.  it has only been a little over a month of your friendship with eloise and kathani, and the rest of the bridgertons at number five, but they each have somehow found a way to carve themselves out in your heart.  and if this most recent kindness by eloise and kathani indicates anything, perhaps you have found a way to carve yourself out in each of theirs.
(and you promptly ignore the thought of what that could possibly mean for ocean eyes and charcoal-stained hands, flutterings within you be damned.)
“how shall we allocate the book?” you say aloud out of genuine inquiry and a deep desire to revert your heart, mind elsewhere.  “shall we read passages aloud and then pass it on to the next reader?”
< eloise makes a remark that indicates her confusion at y/n’s question.  kathani, who is more privy to the situation, shares how she has her own copy as do eloise and penelope.  the stack that they’ve brought is an extra set that the bridgerton house has that y/n can use.  this perplexes y/n.  she cannot understand how a household can have multiple copies of a book, let alone copies of a whole anthology of many books.  before y/n can doom-spiral into thinking, penelope arrives at the entrance of the drawing room.  reading of romeo and juliet commences.  
< just as y/n finishes reading the scene in which romeo and juliet meet for the first time at the capulet ball and then kiss, y/n notices in her periphery benedict approaching the four.  kathani remarks how unusually early he is to be awake and ready for the day; y/n notes to herself how there seems to be some sort of mischief in the viscountess’s smile. >
𝄆 ⚘ ✸ I.iv ✸ ⚘ 𝄇
“i shall be y/n’s teacher,” the viscount declares.
“you were adamant on her not fencing, and now you are insistent on being her teacher?”
“it would be hardly appropriate, colin, for two young unmarried men to be in such close proximity to a young unmarried lady, as proximity of teacher and student in fencing would require.”
“are you always this— antiquated?”  you inquire.
that earns a snort from kathani.  anthony, looking betrayed, turns to his wife; she merely shrugs in reply, mirth shining in her eyes.  he turns back to you, eyebrows deeply furrowed and mouth fully frowning.
“and what do you insinuate by that!”
“are you so distrustful of your own brothers, the ones for whom you have served, and still serve, as a model, that you think they would take advantage of me in such a situation—”
you sense how the eldest bridgerton is about to retaliate and arch a severe eyebrow at him in response; you refuse to be interrupted.
“or are you so unbelieving in persons of feminine dispositions that you think i shall be compromised by the mere closeness of a body different from my own sex?”
there is a silence, and though you cannot see them as you stare down the viscount, you can feel how the others exchange delighted glances with one another and hold back their laughter.
“you have two choices, my lord,” you offer.
“neither of them are suitable!  and do not call me ‘my lord’!”
“is that not the proper way to address you?”
“it is, but you—!” he huffs out air through his nostrils, like an indignant dragon in a fairytale; it is a very silly, very amusing sight.  “we have not even begun the lesson and you are already the most exasperating student i’ve ever had!”
you turn to colin and benedict, grinning.
“you two must have been saints then.”
“would you expect any less?” colin grins back.
your wide smile remains intact until your eyes fall on the expression of benedict.  you are entirely uncertain of what emotion he could be possibly feeling until he seems to realize where he is, and how you are looking at him, and breaks out into a brilliant smile with matching brilliant ocean eyes.  you quickly snap your head away from him, ignoring the fluttering of butterflies summoned within you upon the shift in benedict’s expression, and turn to anthony.
“shall we begin, then?”
it turns out that you are quite the quick learner when it comes to fencing.  after putting on a fencing vest that had previously belonged to benedict—
“because you are the shortest of the three of us, brother,” remarked colin after the second son inquired why it had to be his former vest that you were to wear.  benedict scrunched his nose and eyebrows in displeasure.  (perhaps you should have taken offense to his opposition, but it was truly of no personal consequence to you and the reaction it created in him was truly adorable.)
“i am not!”
“you are, indeed,” anthony deadpanned.
“prove it!”
and the three eldest sons of the esteemed bridgerton family stood next to one another, comparing their heights.  you turned to kathani, eloise, and penelope.
“are they always like this?”
“idiotic?” eloise deadpanned, sounding remarkably like her eldest brother.
“indeed, they are,” grinned kathani.
—over your blouse, you are immediately put to lessons.  anthony explains the basic concepts of fencing and then demonstrates elementary strikes and parries, occasionally adjusting your stances to the proper forms.  noting how quickly you took to the lessons, he calls for a match between the two of you to observe how you would apply your skills in combat.
“you are retaining information exceptionally well, as well as executing the techniques rather impressively,” states your teacher as you deflect his strike.  you try to hide your gladness in his praise as you smirk and push his blade away with the terzo of yours.
“ah, so my sex is not a detriment to my abilities; that is good to know.”
you hear snickers and snorts from around you.
“i said nothing of the sort!”
“did you think it?”
your opponent frowns further, slightly turning his head away from you to steal a glance at his wife.  he turns back to you.
“i did,” he admits defeatedly.
“it takes a true man of honor to rise up to his folly,” you remark honestly, as you strike anthony’s arm with the tip of your sabre.  loud cheers burst from the onlookers and an aghast but proud look emerges on the countenance of your teacher; you grin, “and a fool to leave his defenses so easily open.”
impressed by your display of sport, and seemingly overcoming his antiquation, at least for the moment, anthony decides that you will match against colin and then benedict.
“how are you to improve if you are to face the same opponent?” claims your teacher with his usual air of annoyance, but you detect his pride in your accomplishment.
it is also decided that the matches will end when one scores a point.
and so, you face colin.  it is easy to keep pace with him, not due to lack of skill on his part but complete and utter determination on yours.  you tried to convince yourself, in the beginning of your match, that the remnants of your anger towards the third bridgerton brother, and how he treated your friend, did not fuel your determination to score the point— but it did and does.  and successfully so, as you strike colin in his left shoulder.  perhaps you do it with too much force as the strike reels him off balance (and perhaps you are delighted that it has done so), but he quickly resumes composure and flashes you a grin.
“i see more and more everyday why you and pen are friends.”
that softens your heart.  you should be dubious of his charming remark, but you aren’t; it is too sincere, as is he, and you begin to see, even if minutely, why penelope cares for him.
“she has good taste in the company she keeps, i’m learning.”
that makes him laugh, as it does the others, and you look over and see how pen’s countenance shines with joy.  that is enough to put your anger towards colin at ease, and turning towards your defeated foe once more, you return his smile and bow your head.  bowing his head in kind, colin leaves, and in his place arrives your next and final opponent; he is smiling like a boy.  
“best for last?” he remarks as he prepares his starting position.  you roll your eyes, ignoring the warmth that starts to fill the center of your chest.
“this shall determine that,” and settled in your starting position, you and benedict begin your duel.
you have observed something of the eldest bridgerton brothers in your matches against them.  anthony struck like fire, bombastic and ferocious.  colin stood his ground like earth, his guards resolute.  and benedict— 
benedict moves like water.  free.  fluid.
as if he is dancing while dueling.
both you and he have reached a stalemate.  you have managed to parry every one of his strikes, and he has managed to deflect every one of yours.  you can feel how those watching are holding their breaths, waiting for someone to land the point.  
you try not to startle when you hear benedict’s voice as you guard against his strike.
“it takes quite an astonishing person to earn the praise of anthony bridgerton.”
“are you so surprised that i am such a person?”
“quite the opposite, y/n,” he catches one of your strikes and grins at you.  “i think you are entirely perfect in that regard.”
you roll your eyes once again but cannot help the blush that you feel spread across your cheeks as you push back his sabre with yours.  
“do you honestly think charm will win you the point?”
“do you find me charming?” you ignore the heat that creeps up your neck and the voice in your head that has already answered his question far too quickly for your liking.  “no, i do not think so lowly of such a formidable foe.”
and he winks at you.
and somehow, without you realizing how you got there, benedict strikes the center of your chest.
“but a little distraction does help.”
his point earns a round of groans and bleats from the crowd.  instead of looking offended, benedict just laughs and approaches you, gloved hand outstretched, a boyish smile once again on his face.  despite your loss, you cannot help but smile too.  you place your gloved hand in his. 
“it was a pleasure to duel with you.”
“yes.  likewise.”
perhaps you imagine it, but you feel his thumb swipe against the side of your hand.  it is featherlight, hardly felt with both your and his hands gloved, but felt nevertheless.  before you can process the sensation any further, he lets go of your hand.  with another smile, he bows his head at you as the crowd of people approach you both, penelope raving about your matches, eloise expressing her wish to fence now, anthony already commenting on what you could do better in your next match.
and without you realizing it, you gently swipe against the side of your gloved hand.
𝄆 ⚘ ✸ I.v ✸ ⚘ 𝄇
"mama?  papa?"
it is a rare occasion when you, mama, papa, and your sibling eat together, and an even rarer occasion to do so for a second meal, but this night was such a night.  the three of them halt their conversation and look over to you.
"how did you know you were in love with one another?"
there is a small silence, but then, without looking at one another, they smile in tandem.
"it was at first sight, really, for me,” your papa says as he offers his hand to mama.  “as trite as that sounds."
mama takes his hand into hers.
"i as well."
"when i looked into your mama’s eyes, i knew that something was different.  that my life had changed."
"for the better, dearest?"
papa laughs heartily.
"no, actually.  it has been misery ever since."
you and your family laugh as mama playfully slaps at papa’s hand.  it warms your soul every time they do this, when they tease one another and are light because of the other.   it makes you believe in love each time.  
mama and papa lace their fingers together again, smiling, still gazing at one another.  as if it is just the two of them in their own world.  mama, turning her smile from papa to you, speaks again.
"the flutterings in my stomach wouldn’t quiet, and they only intensified as we approached closer to one another that day and grew closer to one another with time."
she looks nostalgic until something mischievous quickly overcedes her countenance.
"why do you ask, my dear?  has someone captured your eye?"
"or, better yet, your heart?" papa tags along.
ocean eyes and charcoal-stained hands flash by in your mind.
"no!" you say too hastily.  "no, of course not.  it’s— for one of my writings, is all."
you repeatedly poke at your bit of boiled chicken to avoid any further inquisition from your parents’ gazes.
sat by your window, you stare up at the night sky when the voice of your sibling infiltrates your dreaming.
“it’s one of the brothers, isn’t it?”
you whip your head over to them.  they don’t even look at you; they are preparing for bed.
“pardon me?” 
“is it the artist brother?”
“what!”
fluffing their pillow, they smile.
“so i am correct.”
“i didn’t even say anything!”
“that is not true.  you said ‘what.’”
“that reveals nothing!”
pleased with the setting of their bed, they ruin their work by plopping their bottom onto it as they finally face you in what you realize now is a confrontation.
“of course it doesn’t, the word on its own.  your reaction, however?  could not be more transparent of your feelings.”
“i have no feelings!”
“is that why you asked mama and papa about being in love?  because you have no feelings and you need to be told what they are?”
“i!—— i am going to bed!” you lift yourself up from your seat at the window sill, turning away from the peace of the night sky, and crash onto your bed.  you lay on your side, faced towards the wall, refusing to make eye contact with your sibling.  you lift up your sheet with too much force and lay it over your body and head.  “good!  night!”
after some silence, you hear the creak of your sibling’s bed and, a moment later, feel a featherlight touch on your upper arm.  you give it a thought, and perhaps against your better judgment, you lift off your sheet, turn, and are greeted by the gentlest of expressions from your sibling.
“i think it is wonderful, y/n.  whoever it is, they are very blessed to have your affections.”
your heart swells.  you love your sibling.
“how did you know it was the artist brother?”  
“so i am correct!”  they smile with a shrug.  “i deduced based on how much you’ve been writing about paint and charcoal as of late.”
you almost shoot upright from your bed.
“you’ve been reading my writing?”
“well, if they weren’t to be read, why do you leave them spread out on the table?”
“because there is no other place to store them!”
“and how good that is, or else i wouldn’t be able to read your fantastical stories or have been able to discover who your beloved is.”
“you are impossible!”
they kneel next to your bed and place their head on your shoulder.
“i love you too.”
you exhale the last of your frustrations, adjusting yourself a bit so that your sibling can rest their head more comfortably.  without realizing, you stroke their hair, just as you always have.
“i quite like the story about the mushroom family,” they state after some time. “i’m happy that the middle mushroom child befriends the peony and then the hyacinths.  i am happy they are happy.”
you feel your eyes start to drift.
“his name is benedict, by the way.”
you hear your sibling’s need for sleep in their reply.
“that’s a lovely name.”
“he is,” you murmur as the peace of the night falls over you.
𝄆 ⚘ ✸ I.vi ✸ ⚘ 𝄇
“good day!— robert?”
“good day, y/n!” and robert holds the door of bridgerton house open for you to pass.
“pardon the confusion in my greetings—”
“no offense taken on my part!” the late adolescence beams.  you grin back.  with how utterly enthusiastic robert is all the time, one would think it is part of some ruse.  but it is not; he is just that genuinely delighted by life, you’ve observed.
“i am grateful.  i had expected to be greeted by giles, is all.”
robert frowns.  you feel the corners of your mouth tug downward in response, concern starting to swell your heart.
“he is ill at the moment.”
“ill!  with what?”
“i know not.  i had admitted the doctor perhaps not even a quarter of an hour ago.  but worry not too much, y/n!  from what the viscountess has shared with the servants earlier this day, giles shall make a quick recovery.  and lady bridgerton has yet to be wrong in anything!”
relief floods your body.  giles is of elderly age, so it calms you to hear that his ailment seems not to be too severe.  and you can’t help but smile not only by robert’s sunny temperament but also by his rightful faith in kathani.
“that is all good to hear.”
“shall i announce you to the drawing room?”
“oh god no.  i am quite all right, but thank you.”
“understood!  then i must pardon myself; i must retrieve miss bridgerton and miss featherington.”
“‘retrieve’?  are they not in the drawing room?”
“i was informed by dowager lady bridgerton, who was accompanied by miss bridgerton and miss featherington themselves at the time, that they would be in the gardens until your arrival and to retrieve the young misses upon your arrival.”
“i see.  well, i shall be in the drawing room then.  thank you again, robert.”
“it is my pleasure, y/n!” he beams once more and takes off to complete his task.
how odd, you think to yourself.  this day seems rather unusual to the ones you’ve had thus far at bridgerton home.  and it is hardly even noon!  you become lost in your thoughts as you approach the entrance to the drawing room—
when you are greeted by benedict, and benedict alone, lounging with his legs thrown over the arm of a chair, staring sternly at the page he draws on.
“oh,” is all you say.
benedict snaps his focus from his book to you, his countenance transforming from deep concentration to frustration to genuine surprise in a mere moment.  he scrambles up from his seat, book in one hand and charcoal in the other, posture now proper, and he bows his head.  
“miss y/l/n.”
never before have you been alone in a room with a man.  a gentleman.  a gentleman with a handsome face, charcoal-stained hands, and beautiful ocean eyes.
you roll your eyes.
“blimey, it is just me.  there is no need to bow.  and why are you calling me miss y/l/n?”
benedict smiles.
“all right.  y/n.”
shit.
perhaps that was a mistake.
“where has your family gone?” you inquire as you go to sit in the chair parallel to his, ignoring the flutterings within your stomach.  “it is uncommon to enter the drawing room of bridgerton house and not be greeted by talking, or music playing, or fighting.”
smiling, benedict falls back into his seat and resumes his drawing.
“hyacinth is with her reading tutor; gregory is with his fencing instructor; colin is eating some sort of pastry, i am certain, in town; anthony and kate are likely— preoccupied—”
you snort; benedict’s smile grows broader as he smudges charcoal with his thumb, a small furrow in his eyebrows now forming.
“and mother has managed to rope eloise into learning about the flowers of the gardens, and eloise, being eloise, has roped penelope into doing the same.”
“and what of you?”
“and what of me?”
“why have you chosen the drawing room as your whereabouts?”
benedict cocks his head towards his drawing.
“it’s in the name of the room, is it not?”
“ah, a man of wit, i see.”
“i am a man of many attributes, y/n.”
ignore the butterflies.
“such as?”
“what attributes would win your favor?”
“so that you may lie to me and say you possess them?”
“of course not; the list is merely too long and i shan’t bore you with a soliloquy.”
“so, a man of thoughtfulness.”
“oh yes, a myriad of thoughts.”  
“name one.”
“how much i am enjoying our conversation.”
and benedict shifts his ocean eyes from his drawing to you, a smile on his lips.  he is being playful, but you detect no deceit in his expression.  it infuriates you, really.  how charming he is.  how endearing.  how sincere.  
you return his smile.
“as am i, benedict.”
you sit in comfortable silence a moment more until benedict breaks the gaze, returning his oceans eyes and smile back to his drawing.  his smile, however, does not last for very long.
“this sketch, on the contrary—”
and he rips out the paper from his book, crumples it in his hand, and throws it onto the carpet of the floor, giving his deed not another moment’s notice.  he puts his charcoal to a new page in the moment next.
your smile falls.
“do you know how much paper costs?” you demand.
benedict looks back up at you with scrunched eyebrows and a smile having returned to his lips.  he tilts his head.
“why?  should i?”  he inquires.  nonchalantly.  delight in his ocean eyes.
as if you are making a jest.
as if this is amusing.  as if this is nothing.
it reminds you of a recent memory.
eloise had generously given you sheets of paper.  hitting a stride in your writing and wanting to continue, you had asked, after much internal deliberation, if you could have a ripped half of a quarto upon running out of all negative space on your current one.
“have a foolscap.  have a whole lot of them, actually,” she said easily, taking a good chunk of her stack and handing it off to you.
“eloise, are you certain?”
“of course.  it is just paper, after all.”
“right.  yes— of course.  thank you.”
eloise hummed affirmatively in response, returning to her passage, as you stared at the small stack of foolscap in your hand.  that amount of paper would have been eight months’ wage, perhaps even more.  
a gentle touch of a hand on yours brought you out of your clouding thoughts.  you looked over and saw penelope looking at you softly.  understanding her unspoken thoughts, you held her hand and gave it a squeeze.
thank you, you mouthed.
"i must be going,” you say aloud.  “goodbye, mr. bridgerton.”
you stand, turn, and quickly exit the drawing room. 
“y/n.  y/n!”
you hear him scuffling up from his lounge and start to follow you.  you hasten your steps towards the entrance.  
moments before you can open the doors of bridgerton house to the respite of the outside world, you feel benedict take hold of your wrist, stopping you in your steps, and it infuriates you how gently he does it.  how you can pull away from his touch if you want to, how you can just go if you choose to.  but you do not.
it infuriates you how much you want him to hold you.
you turn to face him.
“please— wait,” he breathes.  “what did i do wrong?  what have i done to upset you?”
you look at him incredulously.  then it dawns on you.
“please.  tell me,” benedict practically begs.  with such softness in his voice.
it infuriates you.
“i know money is of no concern to you, or your family, or fair ladies and pretty gentlemen.  but it is for the rest of us.  for the rest of us who have to work to keep the ones we love fed, clothed, warmed, sheltered.  that is a fact with which i have been concerned since the very moment i could think for myself.  and for you—of the male sex, of pale skin, of inherited riches—it is something to discard onto the carpet of one of your family’s many houses.  the paper you threw to the ground would have paid for a month’s worth of warmth for the entirety of my family’s home.  and you ask me what you have done to upset me?”
he says nothing.  he just looks at you, damned ocean eyes and all.  gentle.�� attentive.  like he could care; like he does care.
you feel your nostrils flaring, your blood pounding in every vein of your body.  you finally rip your wrist away from his loose hold, already missing his touch.
“i shall take my leave.  please give my regards as well as my apologies to eloise and penelope.  goodbye, benedict.”
you turn away from him, yank the door open by its handle, and step outside, walking composedly at first, then quickly, then sprinting, then running.  to be as far away from number five of grosvenor square as you possibly can be.  to be far away from crumpled up paper, charcoal-stained hands, gentle touches, and ocean eyes.  
you rub your wrists against your eyes.
stupid bloody tears.
stupid fucking heart.
why am i so afflicted by this?  why am i crying?  why do i hurt?
because i love—
no.
you cannot fall for him.  he is someone you cannot have, cannot want, cannot— cannot…
it cannot happen, the two of you.
and most likely of all, you are not someone he wants.  not someone who he would love.  not the way you—
you are a fool for getting this far.  but these feelings, they will pass.  somehow.   you will forget them.  you will forget him.  this is not the fairytales you read, not the fairytales you write.  daydreams, hopes, love for a gentleman— there is a reason you are a writer.
you write the things you can never have, the things that will never happen.
you and benedict will never happen.
this is the prayer you tell yourself that evening before sleep takes you.  you pretend not to be affected by the tears that afflict you as you do so.
𝄆 ⚘ ✸ I.vii ✸ ⚘ 𝄇
< y/n does not go to number five the next week on her non-work day as she had grown accustomed to.  she had tried to write at her table in her home to preoccupy herself, but her teardrops were ruining what she had already written.  she considers going to work to distract herself, but y/n knows her unexpected presence would be a detriment to her fellow workers’ established flow of day.  she decides to go to the markets to try and get fresh air and a change of scenery and to do anything to interrupt her spiral of thoughts and emotions.
< while at the markets, y/n hears her name called and turns to see penelope in her blue cloak.  y/n asks what penelope is doing here, and penelope gently replies that she can ask y/n the same thing.  she shares with y/n how, the week prior, after she received news that y/n had left bridgerton house, she left to find y/n in the markets and at her workplace but to no avail.  
< their conversation continues.  penelope shares how y/n was missed last week; by her, by the family, by benedict.  y/n tries to dismiss her words and how the past few months have been a mistake and that she shouldn’t be there with pen or the bridgertons, that she’s not meant to be in their world.
< with patience and empathy and grace, penelope gently encourages y/n to return to bridgerton house next week, and y/n, though her heart aching and reluctant, agrees because she misses them. >
𝄆 ⚘ ✸ I.viii ✸ ⚘ 𝄇
you sigh deeply.
have courage, y/n.
and you rap your knuckles twice against the stately door of number five.  a moment later, the door opens, and you are greeted by a beloved grin.
“miss y/n!  i have not seen you in weeks!”
you cannot help but smile back.
“good day, giles.”
“oh, where are my manners!” and the elderly doorman bows at you.  you huff out a laugh, feeling how your face contorts with distaste. 
“blimey, please don’t.  i am not a lady, giles.”
“you could’ve fooled me, miss y/n.”
you shoot him a severe look; he merely continues to grin.
“you know of my feelings towards being called ‘miss.’”
“i am getting older; my memory frequently fails me, miss y/n.”
“and yet you’ve recalled how we haven’t seen each other in two weeks.”
“three.”
you grin.
“precisely.”
“well, it was quite the surprise when I fell ill the following week!” then giles frowns.  “and it was an even greater surprise to have not seen you when i had returned the week following that.”
you look at the ground, unable to face the inquisition in his sad, kindly look, but when you bring your head back up, you manage a smile.
“it is no matter.  i am here now.  that is most important, yes?”
the elderly man smiles.
“yes, i suppose you are right, y/n,” and he holds the door open for you to pass.  
“aside from bouts with ailment, how have you been, giles?”
“still standing upright, still opening and closing doors,” he beams without a bit of sarcasm.  “and what of you?  how have you been?”
“i’ve been—— well.  and the family?” you say quickly, wanting to move the conversation away from you and your feelings.
“the same as is to be expected.  though—” 
concern starts to swell in your heart.  what has happened in the fortnight you have not been present?
“mister benedict has been absolutely despondent.”
“oh,” is all you say.  giles’ gentle joviality transforms into solemnity, and it makes your heart ache even further.
“on the rare occasions i do see him now, he is leaving for the gentleman’s club in the bright light of day and coming home at an ungodly hour, drunk as a wheelbarrow, wreaking of what smells like every available spirit in london.  he had stopped dipping rather deep sometime ago, much to my relief, so it was an utter shock to return to my station and to see him back on the cut, and deeply at that,” the elderly man sighs.  “i wonder what has happened for him to be so…” he unexpectedly turns to you, his countenance sanguine, “do you happen to know?”
you swallow as you ignore the sensation pooling in the pit of your stomach.
“no, i— i do not.”
“i see.  well, whatever it might be, it is clear how much it deeply afflicts him,” and giles offers you a small, sad smile.  “you know mister benedict; he has always been the most sensitive of the family.”
i do.  
i do know benedict.
you clear your throat.
“do you happen to know where eloise and penelope are at this moment?”
giles cocks his head at you but is kind enough (you thank the heavens) not to press your change of topic.
“the last i had seen them, they had spoken of viewing the art gallery.  do you know the way?”
“i am unfamiliar.”
he smiles again, and it makes you smile in return.
“then i am most glad to escort you there.”
giles opens the doors to the gallery, and ahead, in front of a portrait, you see the turnings of penelope, eloise, and—
“y/n,” he utters.
“benedict,” you breathe.
and he looks just as surprised as you are.  
you look to giles, his eyes wide and mouth agape, and then to eloise and penelope.  upon seeing their expressions, you feel your eyes narrow.
“ah, penelope!” shouts eloise.  everyone else turns to stare at her.  “with y/n’s arrival, i must change out of my, my art gallery viewing dress!  and— and, into my... drawing room!  sitting— dress...”
eloise scrunches her entire face in displeasure, confused by her own poorly concocted excuse.  that does nothing to deter her, however, from clamping onto penelope’s wrist and barreling forward towards the doors of the gallery.
“come along, pen!” she calls out to the friend she is pulling right behind her.  as they pass you, eloise gives you a strange and strained smile bearing all teeth, and penelope offers apologetic eyes and an encouraging smile.
giles looks to you, to benedict, and to the two escaping ladies.  mouth still agape, all he manages is,
“i suppose— i shall see to that— miss bridgerton and miss featherington arrive to miss bridgerton’s bedchamber... safe—ly…?”
he mouths, i’m sorry!, at you before quickly bowing his head at benedict, fleeing the scene with remarkable speed for an elderly man who has recently recovered from illness, and leaving you at the entrance of the art gallery.
closing your eyes, you deeply inhale through your nostrils as you place your hand to the space between your eye and your temple.  on your exhale, you wipe your hand hard against the side of your face and open your eyes, whipping your head to look at the second eldest bridgerton brother.  it seems that he has been staring at you this entire time, stupid (stunning) ocean eyes and all.
“would you like to paint a picture?” you snark.  “you are the artist in the room, and it would certainly last longer.  or perhaps you have run out of paper?”
he does not respond, indecipherable expression unchanging, and it unnerves you how guilty you feel at goading him, at taunting him, and he merely takes it.  you sigh again and cross the gallery to where he stands.  resisting the urge to look at him again, as you feel his gaze still on you, you instead look at the painting ahead of you.
it is a portrait of a gentleman.  with dark chestnut hair and mutton chops.  he wears a blue jacket, a darker blue vest, a cream cravat, green breeches, and brown boots.  a watch on a ribbon hangs from his vest; it looks familiar.  he looks familiar.  a benevolent smile rests on his lips.
you look at the plaque at the bottom of the gilded frame.
edmund bridgerton, the 8th viscount bridgerton.
you look back up at the painting, captured by a particular feature.
“you have his eyes.”
“his are gray; mine are blue.”
you roll your eyes but smile despite yourself.  (you try to ignore the flutterings that bloom upon hearing his voice again.)
“yes, but that’s not what i was referring to.  they peer into you— not with scrutiny, nor judgment, but with kindness, curiosity, compassion.  an eagerness to learn about you.  pools of welcoming.  cool tones that radiate warmth.”
you cough, ripping your eyes away from the portrait to inspect the scuffs of your boots.  you feel embarrassment spread throughout your entire body as heat creeps up your neck.
“the painter is excellent at their craft.  it is as if i know him, your father.”
silence falls in the expansive gallery, the calm and kind eyes of viscount bridgerton looking down upon you and his second eldest.
“i’ve missed you.”
you snap your head up to look at benedict, your eyes making contact with his ocean ones.  welcoming and warm.  honest and... hopeful?
i’ve missed you, too.
“benedict, it has only been a fortnight since we saw each other last,” you respond aloud, your voice coming out so much softer than you had intended.  you offer him a small smile, an olive branch of sorts.  something of relief starts to fill his ocean eyes, but his demeanor does not change.
“i behaved arrogantly, and you did not deserve to be the recipient of such behavior.  no one does, and i am so— i am so sorry, y/n.”
and you know he is.  you resist the urge to touch his cheek, to comfort him with your caress, to selfishly have your skin touch his.  instead, you look on at him.
“i do not ask you to grant me your forgiveness; i know i am unworthy of it.  i just— i just wanted you to know how i felt, and feel still.  and how i shall work on myself to be better, to do better.”
the butterflies in your stomach flutter maddeningly.  you emit an exhale from your nostrils.  the urge to touch him intensifies, and you feel yourself flex your hand to let go of the sensation.  you huff out another breath, and smile brightly, sincerely, at benedict.
“well,” you begin, “with our friendship renewed, care to show me what other paintings you love in this gallery?”
benedict’s ocean eyes beam with relief and joy, a brilliant smile lighting up his face, and it takes all your self-control not to drop all discretion and wrap your arms around him in a crushing embrace.
“i would love nothing more, y/n,” he declares.
you try not to flutter your eyes closed at the words ‘i,’ ‘love,’ and your name in the same breath from benedict’s lips.  at the pleasantness and home you feel in them.  you smile on.
“where shall we begin, then?”
you and benedict walk together as he approaches a miniature in a wooden frame ornately carved with floral motifs.  he admits that he has not the slightest clue which bridgerton ancestor this is, and that makes you snort.  grinning, he points out how adeptly the artist portrayed the translucency and fluidity of the lady’s veil and how particularly impressive it must have been to accomplish such effects in paints during the early 1600s, if the remnant dating of the artist’s signature is correct.  you remark how particularly impressive it is that a painting has endured two hundred years of existence, details still intact, and benedict responds simply that rich people have a way.  that makes you snort again, and that makes benedict grin again.
he then leads you to a portrait of kathani and anthony, the viscountess sat in a chair with the viscount stood behind.  you marvel at the painting—how much it looks like them, how much it captures kathani’s confidence, how much it captures anthony’s conviction, how much it captures their love.  excitement coloring his voice, benedict imparts to you how he was given the opportunity to observe and assist the painter on the days the latter was commissioned to portray the viscountess and the viscount.  he also shares with you how impossibly difficult they were as models, always giggling and kissing and looking away from the painter and talking to one another, being overall sickeningly saccharine.  you chortle and share with him how that does not surprise you in the least bit.  despite his annoyance upon recalling the memory, an incredibly fond smile rests on benedict’s lips.  turning from his lips back to the painting, you remark how in love they are, and he remarks that, indeed, they very much are—and turns his fond smile from the painting to you.
coughing, you walk over and ask about the landscape of an enormous building.  benedict names it as aubrey hall, the ancestral home of the bridgertons.  you recall how you had heard of it early on in your friendship with the bridgertons; you had been unable to see them one week as they were preparing for kathani’s first ball as viscountess at the home.  you also recall how the usually collected and confident kathani was anxious and uncertain during that time.  benedict, beaming with pride, says how, of course, she absolutely excelled and how all of the ton—he rolls his eyes then and you guffaw—enjoyed themselves at the event.  while kathani had done an unsurprisingly resplendent job, the ball was not very entertaining to benedict.  he much more enjoyed the annual bridgerton game of pall mall leading up to the event.  after announcing how kathani had won—much to the contradictory disappointment and delight of her husband—and answering your questions about what sounds, to you, like a very silly, very fun game, benedict suggests that you join them next year.  you laugh, finding it impossible to imagine yourself at a home such as aubrey hall, particularly for the entirety of three days, but your heart swells at the invitation and the sincerity in his voice, and you say aloud how you would love nothing more.
your spontaneous tour eventually comes to an end, and the two of you make your way towards the entrance, still discussing the various art you had seen.  as you and benedict walk out of the gallery, a thought crosses your mind.
“none of your work is on display.”
you notice how benedict stiffens.  you feel your smile tug into a frown.
“ah, yes.  i do not think my work is— up to snuff— with the work on display here.”
“horse shit.”
benedict’s jaw drops, his face aghast and regaled in reaction to what you assume is your choice of language.  you merely shrug.
“you have not even seen my work!”
“i do not need to see your work when i can already see how harsh you are being.”
he scoffs, and it aggravates you.
“fine— i will show you, then, and prove to you my point.”
“fine, then!  show me, and i will prove to you my point!”
“you are full of horse shit!”
you and benedict are in his bedchamber, where all his works are hidden away.  he has shown you canvas after canvas, sketch after sketch, charcoal drawing after charcoal drawing, his palette of color ideas— and he still has the audacity to say that his work is not “up to snuff” for the bridgerton gallery.
benedict looks aghast again, perhaps by your language, perhaps by what you are (very rightly, very correctly) insisting.  he shakes the canvas that he holds in his hand in your face.
“look at the proportions, y/n!  they are entirely off!”
you roll your eyes, swatting his arm away, and begin to rummage through his other work.  you pull a sheet and hold it up to benedict’s face.
“look at this sketch, then look at the canvas.  there is a very clear, marked improvement, and with only a—” you look at the dates at the bottom right corners for confirmation, “—a difference of two days!”
“what does ‘improvement’ mean if the improvement is not even good!”
“it is good!  and!  improvement is everything, benedict!  it is progress!”
“what—”
you and benedict jump back from one another by the sudden new voice.  you had not realized how close the two of you were as you were shouting at one another, how close your faces were to one another, how close your lips were to—
a blazing heat creeps up your neck, at the tip of your ears, and across your cheeks as you turn from benedict’s flustered face to the scowl of the eldest bridgerton sibling in the doorway.
“—are the two of you doing?”
“brother!  i— i was merely showing y/n my work.”
you vigorously nod your head.  anthony’s glare remains unaffected.
“alone?  together?  in your bedchamber?”
your heart almost leaps out of your chest, your eyes about to bulge out of their sockets as you look around the room, suddenly aware of where you are.  you are in benedict’s bedchamber.  alone.  together.
“i—” you start, very pathetically.  “i——  we—”
anthony curtly bows his head at you.
“y/n, i would like to have a word with my brother.  in private.  please.”
“of— of course, right— of course!”
you hastily put the sketch on a nearby table and walk towards the door, pass anthony as he steps in, and are about to run down the hall and away from the scene when—
you turn and steal a glance at benedict, mustering up all the apologies you can convey through your eyes.  despite the peril of his current predicament, his ocean eyes soften immediately, and a thousand butterflies erupt in your stomach and flutter around viciously.  he offers you a slight smile, one that is sincere and unregretful.  you offer one back, just as sincere, just as unregretful, before anthony gives you another bow of his head and closes the door.
“are you pleased by the results of your consorted trickery?” you state blandly upon seeing the young ladies that you thought were your friends sitting in the drawing room.
eloise looks up from her pamphlet, beaming at you, as penelope wears a wide and proud smile.  well, at least they have answered your question.
“trickery?” eloise feigns.  you roll your eyes; their expressions answer honestly, but their words continue their game.  “i have no idea what you are referring to.  pen and i were merely keen on viewing the art gallery today, and i thought, my blue-deviled of an elder brother ought to stop moping about; what better to get him to leave his bedchamber than by way of his favorite topic?”
“and his other favorite topic,” penelope adds.  eloise chortles, and you feel the tips of your ears heat.
“what is that supposed to mean!”
eloise waves a dismissive hand at you.
“benedict knew nothing of your arrival, as i am sure you deduced by his surprise,” but the second eldest daughter grins wickedly.  “though, from the sheer amount of time you have spent together thus far today, i am also sure the surprise was very welcomed, indeed.”
“by both parties, it seems.”
you promptly ignore the flush you feel on the apples of your cheeks.  your friends are lucifer incarnate split into two.
“well, then you must be delighted to know that your shared plot has led to punitive action against him.”
that surprises them.  (good.  you are relieved to finally have some sort of an upperhand in this conversation.)
“‘punitive action’?  by whom?  for what?”
“by—”
the three of you hear a set of footsteps.  you look to where the sounds are heard and see the two eldest bridgerton siblings enter the drawing room, the elder approaching you with conviction and the younger trailing behind him like a pet that has just been reprimanded.  the sight would make you laugh, if you weren’t the one to have instigated the current conflict between the two brothers.
anthony stands before you, posture perfect and chin held up high.
“y/n, thank you for your patience.  please allow me to apologize most ardently on behalf of my brother for his complete and utter lack of propriety.  it will not happen again as i shall be more vigilant in tracking his every deed.  i do hope this incident of my brother’s disrespect does not taint the beloved friendship between you and our family.” 
and he deeply bows his head at you.
your jaw drops.  benedict shuts his eyes tight and scrunches his face.  penelope bops her gaze amongst the three of you.  and eloise just howls, causing anthony to break the gravitas of his decorum and shoot a glare at her.
“it is no laughing matter, eloise!”
“it is harmless fun, brother!  a pursuit of intellect exchanged between two creatives, who also happened to be by themselves.  i have never heard of a baby being conceived from sharing some art.”
“ELOISE BRIDGERTON!”
you have now entirely hidden your face behind your hands; no one needs to witness the deep crimson that you are certain is spreading very rapidly across your countenance.  an absurd hope also blooms in you that if you cannot see the others, then the others cannot see you.
“what ever is the matter in here?” 
your eyes shoot open upon hearing the much needed voice of reason.  removing your hands from your face, you see kathani enter the drawing room, a confused expression worn on her face.  
“my dearest,” anthony begins, “i have offered my deepest apologies to y/n for benedict’s disgrace.”
“disgrace,” scoffs eloise, crossing her arms.
“disgrace!” reiterates anthony with increased fervor.  kathani’s confusion does not lighten.  she looks to benedict, whose eyes are scrunched closed again (his nose looks adorable this way), and then to you.
“are you all right, y/n?” she inquires gently.
“i—” you had intended to say, am well, but that would be a lie.  you are utterly mortified.  so, instead, you state the truth.
“benedict has been a gentleman.  he has treated me with the utmost respect, and when he has done wrong by me— which!  which has nothing to do with our being in his bedchamber!—  he—” you steady your voice, determined to say this right, as you know and feel it with and in your heart, “he has corrected himself and bettered his words and thoughts and deeds.”
“you hear that, brother?  no harm has been done.”
“eloise, you were not even there!”
“i believe what eloise means, anbe, is that you are being dramatic.”
“dramat— they were in his bedchamber, kathani!  together!  alone!”
kathani rolls her eyes, her attempt at diplomacy entirely gone.
“speak louder, anthony; just a bit more and the entire country shall hear you.”
the viscount pouts grumpily at his beloved, emitting a huff of air through his nostrils.  
“you must trust y/n by her word,” the viscountess states.
“or do you not trust someone of feminine disposition to speak for herself?” eloise inquires.
“pen!” 
you all snap your gazes to the entrance of the drawing room and see colin making his way to your friend in blue, followed by—
“y/n!” shouts gregory and hyacinth as they run towards you.
“y/n, penelope!” remarks violet and approaches you both.  “how delightful it is to see you!  you—” she says, reaching out for your hand, gently taking it in hers, and smiling kindly at you, “—in particular.  it has been a moment, y/n.” 
it melts your heart, really.  the sincerity of affection that flows so easily from violet bridgerton.  you recall the kind eyes and benevolent smile of her late husband.  it is no wonder you so easily fell in love with this family; true, real love is woven into the very fabrics of each of their beings.
you look at them.  hyacinth and gregory cling onto your slides, holding you tight.  kathani and anthony are engrossed in debate, affection in their eyes despite the heat in their words.  colin and penelope speak with and blush around one another as eloise, unknowingly (and, in your opinion, frustratingly, endearingly), butts into their conversation.  and benedict.  who, with the gaze of the entire room no longer on his so-called indiscretion, is looking at you.  softly.  with those damned, wondrous, bewitching ocean eyes.  a smile on his lips that makes the flutterings in your stomach unbearingly, wonderfully unyielding.
you truly, really love this family.  
you love the bridgertons.
“though,” the dowager viscountess starts.  
shaking yourself out of your thoughts, you see how violet looks at the others in the room as half of them now pointedly avoid eye contact with the matriarch and the other half share a similar sentiment to her.
“is everything all right?” she turns to you, peering curiously into your eyes.  “has something happened?”
you cannot help the laugh that bubbles out of you.  violet seems taken aback by your reaction, as are the others in your periphery, but her eyes, as well as theirs, shine on.
“i think,” you say, smiling, “it is just another day with the bridgertons.”
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slaytheusurper · 1 month ago
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⭑ Separate Worlds, Chapter One ⭑
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Series Masterlist
Pairing: Michael Gavey x Popular!rich!reader
A/N: It took a while as I wanted to write some chapters ahead but the first part of my first longer fanfiction is here! Please give me feedback I need to know if it's any good :)
Summary: Living two completely separate lives you and Michael had never really crossed paths and you’ve never really looked at him before. But when your worlds collide, affections arise.
Word count: 1.8k
Wednesday, October 12th 2006
The sound of rain hitting your thin single paned window woke you from your usual noon nap. Waking up with a groan, you checked your watch. A beautiful watch from Cartier, one you’ve always wanted. Another gift from your beloved father, who would rather send you gifts to apologise than actually say the words. He would once again miss your birthday, this year he would fly to Turkey, for a 'very important business trip'. 
You didn’t even care where the fucker would run away to this time, he’d do anything to get away from your mum, and from your family. Anytime you would meet someone and tell them your name they’d immediately perk up, your family was quite an old one and when the first cars were invented your ancestor was there, right with Benz himself. In current day your father ran the family company, manufacturing and transporting cars all over the world, and soon your brother would join him.
You never had much of a thing for cars, but luckily for you your older brother did. He wasn’t going to be there either though. He was accepted into Harvard, and was currently studying abroad in America. A loud knock fully awakened you and you rose from your bed, you were so tired you didn’t even change into comfier clothes, you just napped in your cute fall outfit of the day instead. 
Opening the door, Farleigh almost immediately bursted into your room. He seemed angry, but he usually was. You met him in your first year, of course upon hearing your name called on in a lecture, he partnered up with you after class. So your first project was with him, he was nice enough but sometimes he could be really annoying and above himself. 
You took a deep breath as Farleigh made himself comfortable in your bed, you did not have the energy to tell him to sit on the couch instead so you silently joined him, waiting for him to start his rant. “So? What happened?” You asked, since he was still moping on your bed in silence. “That fucking rat Oliver! He lends his bike to Felix ONCE and now they’re besties! He is literally a dirt poor cunt that has no personality or anything interesting about him!” 
Great so that’s what this was going to be. “Christ Far, what did he do?” You had to hold back a chuckle, you felt bad for him but when Farleigh was mad he made this really funny face. “Don’t fucking laugh! It’s not funny! You know how Felix and I were going to go to that new coffee place that just opened, and you and Eloise were going to join us after your maths class? Well fuck that apparently! Because Felix just messaged me that Oliver and him are doing an assignment together and he had to cancel!”
“Don’t get me wrong Far, that really sucks but if it’s for school I don’t really-” He cut you off before you could even explain yourself. “The fucking assignment is not until next monday! It’s wednesday for fucks sake!” You so did not have energy for this. “Okay Far, please calm down, if you do think that Oliver is doing it on purpose the last thing you want is to give him the satisfaction of pissing you off. Just stay calm about this and we’ll ask if Maisie is free this afternoon to join us.” 
Farleigh seemed to cool off and now instead looked a bit embarrassed. “Yeah, yeah you’re right. Sorry for barging in like this, didn’t mean to wake you. I’ll message Maisie then, grab a coffee with me? As an apology for waking you up?” You gave him a smile and nodded. “Let’s drink it in the library, it’ll be so cosy with the rain and I need to finish some homework really quick before maths today. Should I message Eloise if she wants in?”
“Yeah sounds good, put on your shoes and let's go!” Farleigh was all back to his normal energised self again and you did as he said. Eloise replied that she would join you later. You and Farleigh jogged to the library, him with your coffee’s and you trying to hold the umbrella over both of your heads. Both of you couldn’t help but giggle as Farleigh almost spilled the coffee at the entrance, while you shook off the umbrella. 
You both strolled in and walked over to a free table in the back, with a big beautiful window that showed the autumn weather outside. Farleigh slid over your iced coffee to you while he drank his hot cappuccino with way too much sugar. Farleigh grabbed his laptop to work on some essay he had due tonight and you grabbed your maths homework. After about thirty minutes of work, you both couldn’t help but talk about Eloise’s new boyfriend. 
A loud snort accidently left your lips when Farleigh imitated the poor boy's smile, which was all teeth and kind of creepy, when you flinched at the sight of a guy peering at the two of you behind a bookshelf. Farleigh’s brow furrowed and he turned to see what you were looking at behind him. Once he saw the guy he turned back to you and mouthed ‘what the fuck?’ which made you laugh again.
This seemed to be the final straw for the guy and he walked over. “Could the two of you shut up. You do realise that this is a library? People are trying to actually study.” The guy sneered. You looked at him with wide eyes, where had you seen him before? He didn’t seem like the guy to take literature…also not any of your other classes- oh… Maths. You definitely saw him there. 
You’ve never really looked at him before. He was quite handsome if you took away the classes, khaki pants, tucked in blouse and the keys hanging from his belt, not bad. Farleigh spoke up before you could apologise. “Aren't you the guy who screamed at Oliver during O week?” He looked at the guy with an expression you knew all too well, he was about to rip this guy a new one. And of course the poor guy’s face goes red as a tomato. 
You felt bad and gave Farleigh a look, anything to stop this awful moment. Luckily Farleigh gave it a rest and the guy opened his mouth to say something, but stopped himself. He walked away instead. “What the actual fuck was that.” You laughed, the whole interaction was absurd. “I have no idea- Oh, El just messaged me. She is… on her way and will be here soon.” Farleigh read as he scanned his eyes over his phone. 
“Good, but don’t make that face again in front of her. It’ll only start something between the two of you." Then your eyes noticed something, the guy from just now, sitting all alone, fervently writing down notes. Hm, kind of sad. Only five minutes later did Eloise stumble into the library, dripping wet, with her books under her coat. “Fuck me, that rain is just getting worse.” She said a little loudly as she dropped her books on the table. Earning a look from that guy from before.
“You don’t have an umbrella?” Farleigh chuckled. “No I don’t, who remembers to bring an umbrella to uni?” She scoffed. You raised your brows and smiled at Farleigh. He laughed and Eloise sat down, copying some of your already finished homework. “Hurry up, we only have ten minutes until maths start.” 
“Yeah yeah I’ll be quick. I can easily do this in five and then we be there ‘bout three minutes before, that’s plenty of time.” You rolled your eyes and watched as Eloise hurriedly scrabbled on the paper. When she was done, Farleigh went back to his dorm to watch a movie, while you and Eloise headed the other way to maths, laughing when she saw you open the umbrella for the two of you. 
Eloise always preferred to sit in the back, so that’s where you went. Felix and Oliver were already there. To be honest you didn’t know if you liked Oliver just yet, he hadn’t been around for long but you just got weird vibes from him. But if Felix liked you that’s all it takes to ‘get in’. You hadn’t realised when you were walking in front of Eloise that you would be seated right next to Felix. 
You didn’t mind him, but he had this sort of weird thing with girls. As if he needed to prove to himself that he could get anyone, except for you. You had no interest in him, you were more the type to have a friendship and deep connection with someone rather than hooking up. But that was exactly what Felix was, a quick fuck. You gave him an awkward smile when he grinned at you, and a small nod from Oliver. 
Time for small talk was impossible as your professor already cleared his throat, silencing the hall. But for some reason your eyes were scanning the room. That kind of looked like- oh, nope not him. He kind of looks similar- also not him, oh, there he is. All the way to the bottom left. You instantly recognised that nose, that jaw, his soft blonde hair and beautiful blue eyes- okay, that was a lot. You had no idea what overcame you but you would definitely be thinking about him later, when you were alone. And it was the daydreams of him that got you through the boring lecture.
Thursday, October 13th 2006
‘Saying what you gon’ do to me’ ‘But I ain’t seen nothing’ ‘Typical ain’t hardly the type I fall for’ ‘I like when the physical-’ You were so engrossed in the song coming from your headphones that you bumped into someone. Oh god- it was him. “Oh my god, I’m so sorry!” You said as you ripped your headphones out of your ears. “Whatever.” He mumbled, about to just step around you and move along into the building but you stopped him, grabbing his arm. Which made him turn around and look at you surprised. 
“I’m so sorry about yesterday, I wanted to apologise then, but Farleigh can be so rude.” You smiled. He didn’t respond but looked at your hand on his arm instead, which you then quickly let go. “Uhm, what’s your name?” His mouth was slightly opened as he stumbled out, “M-Michael Gavey.” He stuck out his hand and you shook it as you told him your name. “Nice to meet you Michael, and again so sorry about yesterday.” He only nodded and then walked away. You subconsciously smiled and put your headphones back in, heading to your next lecture of the day.
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targaryenluvs · 1 year ago
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- NOT YOURS
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pairing: prowler!miles morales x reader, miles morales x reader
summary - miles seemingly can’t let you go, but you know your miles needs to get home. maybe if you play along you’ll be able to get back home. PART TWO!!! part 1 here
word count: 1,305 words
warnings - not much really, profanity, lil bit of violence and non-con touchy touch
notes - well i didnt expect to do a part two lmao but holy shit you lot r crazy thank u for the love - sorry if this isn’t at anyone’s standards but yeaaahh here you go 🤍
TAGLIST: @pifuyue @afternoon-evening @myspacewhore1comz @ashleebooksblog @sophiaj650 @colossaltitannnn @the-rogue-robin @zaddyskye69 @loonalockley
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he’s not moving.
you’d been trying to shake your miles awake ever since the other miles left the room but to no avail.
“miles please, i don’t know how long we have. you have to work with me here.” you whispered as you shook his shoulders again. he was icy to the touch, the hard floor did not help.
you didn’t know where he was but you prayed he wouldn’t come back any time soon, as unlikely it was for him not to return.
he was crazy, indefinitely.
how the hell can someone be so delusional to think that their girlfriend who passed away, infront of them, whom they buried in the ground over a year ago, is back and with them in the flesh? you had no clue, but all you cared about right now was getting miles up and awake.
you’d managed to get rid of the chains after what felt like an eternal tug of war and you were sure he’d wake with countless bruises.
“fuck it.” you sighed as you raised your fist as it is collided with his chest. you couldn’t hit his face, he was to pretty for that.
miles was struggling.
he was dreaming. he knew that.
but for some reason he felt much more comfortable with staying in his dream then facing whatever was happening around his body at the time. maybe he was already dead. this other miles killed him, took his girlfriend, his y/n.
the one who he had loved since they were kids and he was too stubborn to get off the swings since he thought he should have extra time after being away visiting relatives.
the one who was also as stubborn as he was and decided that getting a plastic shovel from the sandpit and digging it into his sides was a more effective way of getting him off rather than asking politely or asking a teacher for aid.
the one who helped him up afterwards and apologised before running to the swings and hopping on.
the one who he saw everyday afterwards, the one who sat in his spot and made friends with his. the one who he knew he should’ve been mad at but he couldn’t help but admire.
her cute pigtails, her cute dresses and smile.
the one he grew up with, his first true friend, his first crush, his first kiss, his first girlfriend.
the one who helped him through his uncles passing and to come to terms with his new abilities. the one who always gave him the strength to get back up and fight.
he couldn’t stay here.
his father was waiting for his help whether he knew it or not and his other half was waiting for him to get back up.
get up.
Get Up.
GET UP
“get up! oh my god is one punch not enough idiot?” y/n whisper-yelled in his face as his eyes shot open.
you’d never felt more relieved at seeing miles’s wide eyes. “shit are you okay? i didn’t punch you too hard right?” you interrogated him as you looked over his face with concern.
“no, no i’m okay. are you? shit i should’ve gotten up earlier i’m so sorry. he didn’t hurt you did he? i’m so sorry, so sorry i-“ you cut off his rambling with a kiss.
as you pulled back you couldn’t help but smile, he was quite literally knocked out cold and the first thing he asked was if you were okay. “i’m fine miles. i’m okay, just breathe okay? you need to have your head on straight if we’re to get the fuck outta here okay?” you murmured as you nestled your face in his neck.
“come on up, we need to get out of here before that psycho comes b-“ you were cut off as you felt something buzz in your jacket.
you saw miles’s bewildered expression as you slowly reached for it, “i swear to god if this is a bomb.” miles whispered as you groaned, “seriously?”
as your hand grazed the object your eyes lit up as you recognised it. you pulled out one of the watches you’d managed to acquire through violent methods at HQ.
“yes! oh my god you are incredible you know that?” miles grinned as he asked for it. “i totally forgot i had it, god thank you!” you joked as you clasped your hands together whilst looking upwards.
“earth 1610, i know that much.” you smiled as he worked through it.
the two of you were so engrossed within the find of the watch you forgot to focus on the door behind you two as it slowly opened. miles’s head shot up as his senses went off. he shoved the watch into your jacket as the two of you turned around.
“see you got out of the chains.” miles spoke as he walked in slowly. miles stood infront of you swiftly, fighting stance slowly crawling through as his fists balled.
“and what about it? you needa move aside. no one has to get hurt.” miles threatened as he slowly walked backwards.
other miles looked at you before smirking. “i ain’t goin nowhere. neither is she.” he pointed your way as you couldn’t help but frown.
why couldn’t he let you go?
why wouldn’t he let you go?
“i’m not staying here miles. i’m going home, you need to let her go. i’m not her.” you spoke up as you lowered miles’s extended arm in-front of you to talk to him clearly.
“i can’t let you leave ma, ion want to, and ion have to. he ain’t gonna stop me.” miles grinned as his mask came forwards to cover his face, his claws on too as he rushed forwards at miles.
“run!”
and you were off.
you couldn’t think about anything else. you couldn’t look backwards it would slow you down. you decided to run upwards, hoping that your miles would fight the prowler off long enough to make it up to you on the roof.
you pulled out the watch and jammed numbers in as you continued upwards.
how many fucking levels were there?
you saw the door come into view just as you pressed enter. you slammed through the door to see the portal open.
your chance was here.
you looked back to the door, willing him to come.
you saw a flash of black and red and the door slammed in-front of you just as you moved forwards to try and find him. and it scared the shit out of you and resulted in something slipping from your pocket.
miles hugged you straight away. “you okay mi vida?” you hugged him tightly and kissed him. “yes, yes i’m okay, you? he didn’t hurt you did he?” miles shook his head as he looked towards the portal home.
“come on let’s go before he decides he wants a round two.” you said as you grabbed his hand and jogged towards the portal just as he barrelled through.
the two of you flew through as the portal closed on miles.
“shit! fuck!” he yelled as he stood in-front of where you’d left just seconds ago. he was too slow. too fucking slow again. he let you slip through his hands once and vowed it would never happen again the second he saw you and you were taken from him again.
after spending so long working, training to be the best version of himself to keep the person and people he loved safe.
as he sat down his eye was caught by something glimmering in the moonlight. as he picked it up he couldn’t believe it.
a watch. the one he saw you shove into your jacket. the one which most likely controlled the portal. the one which had the multiverse contained within.
the luminescent letters spelling out,
EARTH 1610
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futureplayboibunnie · 1 year ago
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Spiderman Kiss
Miguel O’Hara x fem! black cat! reader
- i wanted to write a little fluffy, very flirty upside down romantic rainy spiderman kiss w miguel just because. black cat is in almost every spiderman story and i really wanted to include that for this one cause she’s a badass. just a cute little blurb to get me out out of my writing slump, i was thinking of making a part 2 cause lawd it’s steamy. (yeah i did make a part 2 im just too lazy to link it😔)
warnings: there is some dirty stuff, lil bit filthy but just a lil bit (i’m the worst) streamy sloppy makeout but overall just some romance for y’all.
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You were walking on the damp, cold streets of New York, the soft pitter-patter of rain colliding with your umbrella as your sad eyes were glassy, street lamp lit. The neon buzzing and humming a little in the air as the dark clouds rolled over your head, promising heavier rain in the next few hours. Your boots were fitting for the autumn chill, your little black dress and a mid-length trenchcoat made you look like a detective from a shitty 50s novel, but it was fitting. It felt…romantic. As you walked down the street you caught yourself smiling at nothing. Well, not 'nothing' per se.
Spiderman.
Miguel O'Hara.
The self-appointed leader of the infamous Spider Society, aptly remembered as the Spider with the stick up his ass and a temper akin to that of a raging bull being flagged down by a red tarp. He had been on your coattails for months now. The Black Cat. The thief. One wrong-manicured finger or one slip of that vulgar tongue could end in you being an anomaly, which is a bigger problem than just a petty thief. Miguel wasn't from your universe but he had been watching you from afar...just to keep a watchful eye on you, making sure you were behaving yourself-which was never the case. What was jarring though is that he never stepped in on you making your own mess, he just surveilled you. You never seemed to notice and even if you did, you wouldn't care or give him the time of day.
Miguel watched you stroll confidently as the rain hit his broad shoulders, he had never seen you so casual. He cocked his head to the side to survey you from the rooftop you weren't far away from. You didn't fear the elements, the elements fear you. You boasted a certain naturality, your eyes glassy and the bridge of your nose pinched a pretty pink. Huh, cute. He dismissed the thought as quickly as it came, his eyes narrowed as your hair bounced with each step, lips parting in the process as the cold chilly air started to get to you. See, Black Cat was this force of nature, mysterious, sexed up, a siren seducing her prey into a strangle. Black Cat always gets what she wants, those silk lips ready to bite and those eyes ready to roll back like second nature. Miguel wanted to turn a blind eye to you acting in such a way but he couldn't help but admire your tactics: men would quite literally throw themselves at you, they would beg at your feet, they would lick the ground you'd walk on, they would be desperate for mercy and you didn't even have to touch them to do it. It was something that you just had the ability to do.
But now, here you are. Without the mask. Without the suit. Beaming against the damp night, giving him the opportunity for him to see who you really are when you're not being someone else. Showing the real you when no one else was looking. Miguel had a problem with admitting things. He could never admit when he was wrong, he could never admit the thoughts that buzzed his brain awake at night because no one would understand. You were dangerous, you were a threat. Then why did he want you? Why were you his calling? Why did he catch himself thinking of you?
Miguel was agitated because of it, acting out in the shadows, being more aggressive and hot-headed than usual. He had to do something about it.
Miguel swung to the alley that you were just about to walk past, hanging upside down from the metal fire exit. Thank God for his adhesive feet. Your boots clacked as you walked past the opening. Something blue and red flashed against the corner of your eye and you stopped in your tracks, the breath almost leaving your lungs dry. You couldn't believe it. You scoffed, a smile tugging your lips upwards as your tongue licked at your back teeth.
‘’Late night?’’ Miguel questioned in that low voice of his, you turned your head to face him squinting your eyes slightly. ‘’Couldn't risk getting your hair wet, could you?’’He insulted but there was a playful tone in his voice. Fuck you. You make him playful. He's always fucking serious- the weight of the multiverse rested on his broad shoulders, and here you are not doing anything and he was already letting go. He really needed to check himself.
‘’Take off the mask, couldn't risk getting your hair wet, could you?’’ You walked towards him as he dangled upside down, his massive reached for the flexible fabric of the mask and pulled it off of his insanely structured face.
Lord above, even upside down he looked fucking delicious, his bone structure and dark eyes made an ache form inside of you. A few strands of his raven locks stuck to his forehead due to the rain. He looked dreamy, you couldn't fucking lie about that. You had eyes, after all, you weren't blind.
‘’I think we know each other enough to not be bound by masks.’’ You added completely serious but a smirk played on his lips and his gaze softened just a little but enough for you to notice.
‘’Mask or no mask...’’ Miguel trailed off, unsure of how to finish his sentence.
‘’What are you doing here, Miguel?’’ Your voice was above a whisper as your gaze fell to his lips. This was coming from a case of genuine and undying curiosity- Miguel always has so much to deal with. What made you worth the precious minutes of his day? Well other than being a criminal, today wasn't one of those days though. ‘’You want me to prove to you I can get my hair wet?’’ You closed your umbrella and the droplets of rain started to dampen your hair and slide through the strands.
He couldn't give you an answer, he just cocked his head and looked at you. Fuck, you were beautiful. It was almost scary. You raised your eyebrow at his silence, his face went hard like his thoughts were racing a million miles per hour. And they were, relentlessly. A few burrowed thoughts pierced through the front of his mind.
Miguel let himself be selfish and he let himself wander when it comes to you. He wanted to fuck you, any red-blooded man would. He didn't want you to do all the work though like you usually would expect, he wanted to worship your body and praise you. He wanted to paw at you like an animal. Hold your hips down as he kissed and bit down your thighs, eat at you, devour you, spending hours at a time just tasting you to make you feel good.
Though he did want to take you over his knee for so blatantly misbehaving. Oh, but he did find it impossibly cute though when you were trying to act all smart defying his orders- you'd end up on his knees, ass up face down. Whimpering and on the verge of tears as he had to spank and fuck the disrespect out of you. The dirty thoughts so obviously transferred onto his face, his eyes darkened instinctively as he glared at your lips, he was worried his fangs would pop out unprovoked. The sexual tension between you two was astronomical and difficult to ignore. He didn't want to ignore it anymore, it was affecting him in so many different ways.
‘’You're a million miles away.’’ You bit your lip, eyes going heavy as your perfectly manicured hand tangled in his hair. Fuck, your touch was like magic.
‘’Stop biting your lip. I need to do that instead.’’ Miguel whispered. Your mouth popped open slightly at his words but you definitely knew this was the PG clean version of what was actually going on in his head.
‘’I'm afraid you'll tear them right off.’’ You flirted back, the proximity between you closing with every second.
‘’No, you're not.’’ Miguel's eyebrows furrowed as if he could read your mind. You swallowed the lump in your throat as his response started to shimmy and have an effect all over your body, your eyes widened and you wet your lips with your tongue. A daring invitation.
Miguel closed the gap between you, the rain sliding across his face as he leaned in to capture your lips with his. You expected his kiss to be mean and filled with anger, he was half expecting you to grab his lips and cut them off with a pocket knife for being so callous but no. It was soft. Sensual. Romantic. It felt...meaningful.
You moaned a little and he took it as an opportunity to open your mouth wider to slip his tongue in. It was slow. Messy. Wet. Tongues gliding against tongues, he even nibbled at your lips with his fangs. The strings of saliva kept pulling you back together like an invisible string. It felt so wrong but so good. It was a sloppy kiss turned makeout session, you swear your heart was burrowed inside of your throat as the butterflies in your tummy were starting to turn into hummingbirds. That ache he was making you feel was unmatched. Damn, that's surprising.
‘’Ah.’’ You moaned softly against his lips, finally detaching yourself even though it pained you to do so. Those soft noises shot down all the way to his cock. What was he, a fucking horny teenager? He wanted to hear you moan into his ear. You smiled as you pulled back from his mouth, your tongue darted out and flicked against his lightly protruding fangs, and licked it all the way to his bottom lip. Jesus Christ, you were fucking toying with him. It was like a cat and mouse game with you but in this case, it was cat and spider. You lifted your head to stare into the dark abyss of his eyes and to your surprise they were gleaming. You ruffled your hand into his damp hair messing it up for him as to further prove your point.
‘’I usually hate spiders. Cats eat spiders.’’ You mused.
‘’Do you now?’’ He teased back. ‘’It seems like you don't hate them enough.’’
‘’I like that you've been watching me, Miguel.’’ You exposed that you knew what he's been doing, the man is 6'9 he's not good at hiding things.
‘’Needed to make sure that you've been behaving.’’ He said huskily and it made your knees buckle a little.
"You already know that I haven't been."
"I should punish you.’’ He scolded coldly, he was being deadly serious and you fucking loved it
‘’Swing by my universe whenever bug boy.’’ You pressed a soft kiss to his lips and he was salivating yet again. And bug boy? That's just unforgivable. ‘’Call me.’’ You smirked playfully, giving into your teenage fantasy of a boy falling head over heels for you, wrapping the telephone cord around your finger and twisting it whilst whispering sweet nothings across the line. But you were both far too dangerous to have anything normal.
‘’Maybe I will.’’ He replied in a rich low tone that made your insides melt, he said it like it was a promise.
You shuffled his hair one last time before your eyes fell on his, eyebrows wilting as an expression of sad tenderness. ‘’Goodbye, Miguel.’’ You breathed as if it was the final moment you’d share with him, finally taking the necessary steps back to successfully be back on the main pavement. You opened up your umbrella and then you were gone, Miguel sighed.
‘’Parting is such sweet sorrow.'’
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halfwayhearted · 3 months ago
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Elle Greenway x F!reader and Elle was too scared to ask her out bc she didn’t know what way readers swung and then reader makes a comment about being like gay or something or smnth about woman. idk how to phrase that. and Elle finally is like omg and asks her out. Lmk.
(You) On My Arm — Elle Greenaway.
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Pairing: Elle Greenaway x Fem!Reader
Summary: She isn’t entirely sure if you’re into girls in that way, but when a particular question prompts you to reveal your orientation, she feels a subtle yet undeniable pang of satisfaction. She decides then to seize her moment.
Word Count: 580+
Disclaimer/s — Small mention of murder (😭), Derek and his nicknames, no use of Y/N, the dinner being Season One, Episode Seventeen! :3
A/N: I LOVED THIS REQUEST BAAAAAAD…
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Fiddling with the chopsticks in your hand, you continued to zone out while your team delved into discussions about other cases, the current case you were working on, and well—
“So, Elle,” the BAU unit chief inquired with a light, playful tone, “Are you seeing anyone?”
The girl in question let out a nervous laugh, her eyes inadvertently flickering towards you. Upon realizing that you hadn’t noticed, she allowed her shoulders to slump in visible relief.
Derek let out a dramatic sigh from beside you, shaking his head. “We already know what she’ll say. What about you? We don’t know much about you yet. Enlighten us,” he remarked, gently nudging you with his arm, ultimately snapping you out of your thoughts.
Clearing your throat, you said, “Hm, what?”
“Tell us about yourself,” he repeated. “Talk about your love life—get interesting with it.”
“Get interesting with it?” You echoed with a laugh, setting your chopsticks down onto your plate. You hummed, pondering where to begin. “Huh, I’m not really sure. I didn’t date much as a teenager, and that hasn’t really changed now.”
The Morgan man frowned, “So, nobody? Ever?”
You clicked your tongue. “Hey, I didn’t say that, now did I?”
“Oh, okay, player. Let us have it.”
“I once had a boyfriend, and that relationship lasted about four months,” you began, leaning back in your seat with a sigh. “It didn’t really work out—he was gross and, well, just gross. I did have a girlfriend for about a year and a half.”
Elle’s eyebrows shot up in surprise at that. A girlfriend? For a whole year and a half?
“A year and a half?” She responded, doing her absolute best to keep her voice from sounding overly ecstatic. “What happened?”
Meeting her gaze, you felt your face flush as you shrugged, “We were on different wavelengths.”
Different wavelengths. Right, got it.
The conversation wandered through countless topics after that, so when you got up to use the restroom, no one paid you much mind. However, as soon as you stepped out, you nearly collided with Elle, who swiftly placed her hands on both your elbows, apologizing profusely.
Though, you only focused on one thing.
Her hands on you.
“It’s fine,” you assure her, stepping aside to give her room to enter. But when she remains rooted to her spot, you furrow your eyebrows and softly spoke, “Elle, are you okay?”
“Will you go out with me?” She blurted out, her tone unwavering and her head tilted in a way that quite literally left you breathless.
All you could do was stand there, because had she really asked what she just asked?
You had almost forgotten that you were standing in front of a literal bathroom. Not exactly your ideal scenery, but you understood the reason as to why. “Like—a date?” You asked, feeling a bit stupid. What else could it be? Of course, a date.
“Yes,” she replied rather quickly, “A date.”
A date with her. Nodding your head, you let a smile form on your face as you bit your lip before replying, “Yes, I’d love to.”
Just as you were about to relish in the moment of going out with her, Spencer suddenly peeked his head around the corner, startling the both of you. “Hey, guys. Oh, sorry—we, uh, we just got called in. He killed a cop-killer. C’mon.”
“Okay,” you both replied in unison, exchanging another smile before walking out, side by side.
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Likes, reblogs, and comments are always appreciated ^_^.
DT(s) — @pedrilcvr ! ౨ৎ (thank you for helping! 🫦)
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dangerpronebuddie · 6 months ago
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The basketball scene foreshadows the love triangle and it's conclusion.
Buck, first of all, doesn't want to go with Eddie- despite him always offering- but goes when Eddie’s attention is seemingly all on Tommy. Deeper meaning: He didn't know he wanted Eddie until someone else had a chance.
He bumps into Tommy first, quite by accident. Tommy doesn't even flinch. He is unbending and unwavering. Buck stumbles into another relationship, with Tommy, who doesn't yield to anything regarding Buck at all.
Then he faces Eddie, who literally says “you ain't getting past me,” before Buck makes it his mission to hit him. And, unlike his bump into Tommy, Buck shoving Eddie was deliberate. He planned it, you could see it in his face, and besides that a foul like that in the game isn't usually an accident anyway (from what I've been told. I'm no sports expert).
And, unlike Tommy, who didn't budge at all, Eddie completely toppled. He completely folded to Buck where Tommy stood firm. Kinda like how Tommy didn't follow Buck's request for the bachelor party theme and Eddie supported Buck? (And literally any other piece of either relationship, that's just the most obvious example).
(There's something to be said about Buck freezing when he realizes what he did though that I haven't figured out yet).
So the plan after Tommy is really interesting. Oliver said Buck would get a love interest he had to work for. (Something something you don't find it, you make it). Since the game already foreshadowed the beginning of BT, it's likely it foreshadowed the beginning of buddie too.
So. Buck will get his feelings realization first and actually pursue Eddie, rather than waiting for Eddie to make a move. Not only will this realization be “I have a crush on Eddie” it will be “I'm in love with Eddie” because of the “you ain't getting past me” line. Once Buck realizes it's Eddie, it's Eddie. That's it for him. It'll take work though, Buck has to grow past the hamster wheel, Eddie has to grieve Shannon, but once they realize what they want- who they want- that's it.
And since Eddie takes off down the court first, he's going to get a realization too, and understand it a lot sooner and a lot more than Buck. But Buck catches up to him, and when they do collide, Eddie's not going to fight it. Buck will confess, and Eddie won't deny it one bit.
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ssparksflyy · 7 days ago
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jason grace dating hcs ִֶָ ࣪ ִֶָ♱་༘࿐
pairing jason grace x child of mors hcs warning slight mentions of death i guess but thats kind of a given an based off this request !! hope u enjoy
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nothing has ever quite been able to top the wave emotions that hit jason when he saw you for the first time
some call it love at first sight i call it love at first sight
like just imagine little jason stopping mid tracks eyes wide and jaw open
you thought it was weird
cause it’s your first day at this random camp, you just found out(and are still processing) that your dad is a roman god ???
as if that wasnt weird enough now theres this tiny white boy staring right at you
so of course you hit em with that "whatcha lookin at punk 🤬🤬🤬" cause your so #hardcore #punk #rock #rebel
no im kidding you just give him a nasty ass look and hes runs away
very short interaction but its one he wont forget
i wanna say youre like eight when you get to camp just for lore reasons
it actually takes a hot second for you to get claimed, im talking like two maybe three years
yeah your dads not the best
but as soon as you do, all your friends DITCH YOU ??
except for
youll never guess who
jason !!
in the time where you were unclaimed, you and jason slowly got close but with him now being one of the only people you hung out with, you got even closer
somewhere along the way, reyna joined your little group and you instantly got close with her as well
(shes out here collecting her creepy kids)
you didnt really have a movie-like friendship with her, but you had a lot of respect for each other and trusted each other deeply
leading to the sharing of private stories and secrets, aka making her the first person to know about *drum roll please* your crush on jason !!! yayyyyy
turns out you didnt even have to tell her that cause she literally just said "oh yea i already knew that"
and you were like ?? okay
just cause you were aware of your feelings (and jason was aware of his) does not mean that you did anything about itttt
reyna spent YEARS watching you two awkwardly interact, both way too afraid to even insinuate any romantic feelings
aka : you thought he wouldnt like you cause ur weird + he thought you only saw him as a friend and didnt share the feelings
only when this boy gets snatched outta nowhere do your feeling really hit you like a double decker bus
waves of really anxious feelings begin coming in more often as time goes on and less people begin to care about his disappearance
butcha never give up and thats what matters !!
reyna's there by your side the entire time, comforting when u need it ♡
then like this one guy shows up i dont remember his name i think hes like the son of neptune or something like that
anyway he goes on a quest or something ?? dont really remember why he's relevant
you do become friends though so theres that
but like best part about him is that the search party that came to find him had jason with them !!!
your heart must've stopped when you saw him cause you were frozen in shock until reyna gave you a shove and suddenly you were racing towards this boy, and he was also coming at you
you collided somewhere in the middle, embracing each other tightly
and you ALMOST
key word almost
kissed him
but not yet !!
lets be honest, nobody wants lore and ive got homework due in a bit so to put it short: after you awkwardly peel yourself off of jason, you end up joining the seven and their quest to stop motha nature! the first few days are a little awkward with the others (mainly cause you've never been much of a people person) but spend so much time with jason !
you swap stories about his time away from camp and gets you a little closer to the friends he met on the way- particularly leo and piper
they soon connect with you, eager to learn more about you after the stories theyve heard from jason and you end that day walking into your room super giddy
just as you were getting into bed however, GUESS WHO WALKS IN
JASON.
"veronica what are you doing in my room??"
he plops down on your bed and makes a little small talk, watching you through the mirror atop the desk you were sitting at
the room gets quiet once you finish and walk over to the bed, the white noise of the ship's engine running being the only thing you hear
as you sit down next to him on your bed, you turn to face him with a soft smile
he returns the smile and starts fidgeting with his hands as he tries to find the words for what hes about to say
omg is he about to say what i think he is ?!?11/1
yea
he starts off his ramble talking about the first time he saw you, how much fun he had growing up with you, then went onto how lost he felt without you and eventually tied it up with a lovey dovey gush about how youve changed his life forever
youd think the guy is proposing
but he’s actually just confessing his feelings for you!!! how cute
you're left a little shocked cause what!! what do you mean jason grace likes you!!!
pretty sure you know what happens next and soon enough your walking around with your finger interlocked and receiving pecks on your nose like its nobody's business
once you actually start dating, the shift from friends to lovers isnt too drastic
cause you already spend so much time together and know everything about each other, it's just now you dont have to hold back the urge to kiss and hug him at every breathing moment
the honeymoon phase is crazyyyyyy
like yall cant get off each other
once you ease out of it, you're still super affectionate with each other, just now its not super shocking that you're dating your best friend and have instead adapted to it
as semi mentioned before, jason looves holding your hand whenever you're together and adores pecking the tip of your nose, forehead, and cheeks
jason is so excited to show you camp half blood and show you his favorite spots when you agree to visiting
you end up really enjoying the camp and have an amazing time swimming in the lake, taking nature walks in the forest, and ending the night cuddled up in cabin one together
but nothing can beat your sleepovers, coffee shop dates, university lecture sit-ins, and afternoon strolls that you have at camp jupiter
its truly your home and you wouldn't choose to live your life with jason anywhere else in the world
things don't really change friends wise
though you do get closer with some people in your classes
pretty soon you're living the dream; a small(ish) circle of friends you know you can trust, two homes, a supportive best friend, and your dream guy right by your side everyday
his favorite way to spend weekends with you is by watching popular movies and ranking them based on the toll the have on his life
#1 on his list? dead poets society
(guys i have not recovered. its been a WEEK AND I HAVENT MOVED ON I DONT THINK I EVER WILL)
he literally has 'carpe diem' scribbled on a lined piece of paper right next to his bed
you are yet to miss a movie night together
you always end up having them, one way or another
honestly, your parents don't have much effect on your life
other than the fact you're into darker things and have been your whole life, your dad and his image haven't had much of an effect on your life
he doesn't acknowledge you and truth be told, you're glad he doesnt
not to forget romans view it as bad luck, so having brunch with death every sunday isn't too appealing to you
you really dont mind it, and jason doesn't mind jupiter too much either
he simply kind of lives his life without really thinking about him, he's happy without him having a role in his life anyway
yknow why?
cause he has you!!! duhhhh
you end up living your life all happy together and its great ‹𝟹
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matty-bear · 5 months ago
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II. New Tattooist, New Romantic Tension 
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type: request !
pairing: idk ! LOL (nothing romantic is gonna happen srry guys 💔)
warnings: SFW, fluff
summary: in desperate need for another tattoo, nick texts mez and asks for an appointment. unfortunately for him, she’s not gonna be available for quite a while. to save the boy's despair and cure his needs, Mez suggests Nick to go to you. it took a bit of convincing, but the oldest triplet ends up in the shop with you. who knew that the blooming friendship between the two of you would cause some issues regarding nick’s younger brothers to form ?  
notes: More of a filler chapter srry guys 😖 nothing very exciting happening rn. promise next chapter will be better ! ^^ anywho, hope u enjoy ! happy reading <3 
WC: 3.7K
PT1
'•.¸♡ ♡¸.•''•.¸♡ ♡¸.•''•.¸♡ ♡¸.•''•.¸♡ ♡¸.•''•.¸♡ ♡¸.•'
The soft, consistent buzzing sound of the tattoo gun held in your hand collides with the sound of Billie Eilish playing on the speaker behind you. Somehow, the buzzing didn’t clash too much with the music playing, in fact it added another blanket of comfort and easiness to the current tattoo session. 
As you find yourself softly singing along to L’amoure De Ma Vie under your breath, Nick’s voice cutting through the comfortable silence causes you to lift your head up slightly. 
“So.” The brunette starts, his gaze shifting from the poster on the wall across from him to you. “How long have you been doing tattoos?” 
“Well… it’s my this day here but-“ You begin to say, only to be cut off by Nick gasping halfway through your sentence. 
The boy abruptly lifts his head up from the head cushion he’s resting on, his eyes mimicking those of a deer caught in headlights as he stares at you wide-eyed. “WHAT? GIRL…” The male exclaims, the tone of voice going up a few octaves. 
“You didn’t let me finish.” You say with a soft laugh as you lift the tattoo gun off Nick’s calf. You take a moment to get more ink in your device before continuing, “I’ve been doing tattoos for about five years but it’s only my third day working here in the shop.” 
A loud and long ‘ah’ sounds from Nick as he lays his head back down on the small cushion attached to the recliner. Soon after, soft laughter bubbles up his throat and the brunette finds himself clamping a hand over his mouth to muffle the sound. 
Curious at the male's sudden outburst, you turn your head to face him, a small giggle of your own slipping from your lips as you take a moment to look at him. “What are you laughing at?” You ask with a laugh. 
Nick allows more laughter to rack through his body for a moment more before he removes his hand from his mouth and replies, “I was so scared.” The male manages to say through choked laughter. “I deadass thought I was gonna get scammed or some shit.” 
“Seriously? How would I scam you? You literally saw my Instagram yourself.” At this point, the tattoo gun in your hand has been momentarily forgotten, the buzzing emitting from it falling on deaf ears and your focus staying solely on the current rather silly conversation at hand. 
“I have no idea.” You join Nick in the laughing fit for a little while longer before you remember why the boy was with you in the shop in the first place. 
Quickly, you immediately shift back into professional mode and take a moment to examine the tattoo, which is very close to being finished, on the brunette's lower leg. With a few wipes to clean off the ink residue sliding off the male’s freshly shaven skin, you get back to work. 
Nick, noticing the sudden switch up in your demeanor, quickly clamps his mouth shut and forces the remaining giggles threatening to escape his lips down his throat. It only took a few deep breaths from the male for him to fully calm down and sink into the wrapped recliner seat, his brain momentarily shutting off as it takes in the soft beats of Billie Eilish. 
~~~~~
 “And….” You sing softly as you gently drag a ink-filled paper towel across Nick’s final tattoo. With a wide, proud smile, you sit up right and stare down at the male's leg for a moment before exclaiming, “We’re done!” 
“Really?” Nick beams, his eyes widening in excitement as he hurriedly attempts to sit up. Seeing how the boy struggles to do so, presumably due to his arms which fell asleep from being immobile for so long, you quickly rush over to where his upper body is.
Slipping your arm behind the brunette’s back and setting your free hand on his bicep, you assist him into a sitting position. Once Nick is comfortably sitting up, he bids you a small ‘thank you’ and stretches his arms out before him.
A small yawn racks through his body for a moment before he quickly bends his leg upwards, his eyes scanning his calf for the new tattoos. When his eyes finally lands on one of them, an excited gasp escapes his lips, followed by his jaw dropping slightly in pure awe. 
“HOLYFUCKTHATSSOCLEAN!” The male exclaims, his words quickly slurring together due to his excitement. “Fuck, where are the other two hold on.” 
A small giggle manages to escape your lips as you turn on your heels to walk over to a cabinet across the room. The moment you open one of the doors, Nick gasping in astonishment yet again sounds through your ears, drawing a soft laugh from you. After scanning the contents stacking the few shelves in the cabinet, you quickly slip a bottle of soap and a clear container off their shelves. 
Once you shut the door gently with a soft thud, you turn back around and approach the recliner where Nick is still sitting. You take a seat back on your chair next to the brunette and use your free hand to pull your rolling tray closer to you. 
You gently set down the container on the cold metal and set the bottle in between your index and middle fingers down on your lap to grab the roll of paper towels with both your hands. You rip a few off the roll rather quickly and set it back down on the tray to pick up the two items you had moments before. 
“Considering how many tattoos you have, I'm guessing you know about the aftercare and such, right?” You ask, batting an eye at the brunette as you flick open the small latch on the clear container. 
“Oh, for sure! I need to not pick at it, no matter how itchy it gets, and keep it cleaned and moisturized until it fully heals.” Nick explains with a firm nod of his head. 
“Good, good.” You mumble as you slip a few adhesive medical-grade sheets out of the container. As you set the small box back on the tray, Nick’s eyebrows furrow in confusion and interest as you begin to flick your pointer finger around the edge of one of the sheets. 
“What’s that?” At the male's question, you momentarily stop your actions and lift your head to lock eyes with him. Now it’s your turn for your eyebrows to furrow in slight confusion. With your head tilted to the side, you ask, “You don’t know what these are?” 
Hesitantly, Nick shakes his head softly. “I’m guessing it’s another wrap of some sort.” 
“Well you’re not very far off.” You take a quick moment to fix your focus back on finding the opening of the sheet before you continue, “It’s clear adhesive medical-grade sheets. They’re a lot better than regular plastic wrap in my opinion since they trap moisture a lot better and prevent little to no bacteria from coming into contact with your tattoo.” 
A hum of understanding sounds from Nick as he gently nods his head. “I'm used to the plastic wrap since Mez usually uses it but I'm very intrigued with these sheets.” 
“Mez likes keeping it old school sometimes. I think she’ll start to use these soon though. Most people in the shop have started to use them.” Nick hums yet again and grows silent to allow you to focus on removing the adhesive sheet from the packaging. 
Once you successfully have it removed, you gently set the sheet back down on the plastic before reaching over to your tray to pick up a single paper towel and the bottle from earlier. You easily flick the cap open with your pointer finger and pour some of the liquid on the thin paper. After shutting it and setting it back down on the tray, you gently grasp Nick’s ankle to draw his leg closer to you. As you move the male’s limb over, the boy quickly scoots over with a sheepish smile. 
Setting down your palm on Nick’s shin, you locate the first tattoo and give it a few wipes to clean the area from any leftover ink or blood. Once that is done, you quickly pick up the adhesive sheet and place it directly over the tattoo. You give the area a few taps to make sure it’s secure before sitting up straight, a small smile immediately gracing your lips as you scan the patched area. 
“Alright, first tattoo is successfully covered! Two more to go.” You state, your smile not faltering as you glance over at Nick. 
“That was it? It usually takes Mez a little bit longer to get it wrapped.” Nick asks, his mouth shaping into a small oval. As the male sits up and leans forwards to examine the covered tat with a surprised expression, you reply, “Well, i’m not covering your entire leg; just the tattoo and some of the skin around it. I’m telling you, this shit is amazing.” 
“It really is.” Nick mumbles as he extends a hand down to graze a finger over the adhesive. You can’t help but giggle softly at the male’s curiosity as you quickly prep your items to cover his next tattoo. The wrapping process didn’t take more than 20 minutes and Nick simply sat back and silently watched as you got to work on cleaning and covering his tattoos. 
Just as you finished placing the last adhesive sheet on Nick’s final tattoo, Lunch by Billie Eilish began to play. The moment the beginning beats of the song spilled from the speaker behind you, a small gasp escaped you as you sat back up. 
“What? What’s wrong?” Nick asks, a look of worry immediately flashing across his face as he hurriedly sits upright. 
“Nothing, nothing.” You quickly reassure the brunette with a small wave of the hand. “I just love this song.” 
“Oh my God…” A laugh of disbelief escapes Nick's lips as he lays back down with a soft thud. “Fucking gave me heart attack.” 
“My bad.” A small giggle manages to slip from you as you send the male a small, apologetic smile. “Anyways, I believe we’re done now. You’re free to go.” 
“Wait, I kinda don’t wanna leave.” Nick mumbles as he brings a hand up to his nape to gently caress the skin there. 
“How come?” You ask the boy as you begin to pry your black gloves off your hands. 
“I had so much fun and you’re so sweet and nice.” At the sound of Nick's voice cracking slightly, you quickly pick your head up and look at him. Immediately, you’re met with the brunette frowning and growing teary eyed. 
“Awh, Nick. Don’t cry!” You quickly wheel yourself over to the male and wrap your arms around his shoulders to bring him into a hug. 
“I’m sorry I really don’t mean to, I promise. I tend to get a little emotional when I'm met with nice people.” Nick mumbles an apology as he sets his chin on your shoulder, a soft sniffle escaping him. 
“Hey, you don’t need to apologize. You’re good, promise. You can cry however much you want. I’m honestly really touched that you think I'm this sweet.” 
“You really are. I swear if we don’t become best friends I'm gonna go insane.”
A soft chuckle escapes your lips as you rub comforting circles on Nick’s clothed back. “I don’t think you have to worry about us becoming best friends. Aren’t we friends already?” 
Nick pulls away from your embrace and takes a moment to wipe his eyes with the sleeve of his zip up before asking, “Are we?” 
“Of course we are! You’re literally the best and sweetest client I've ever had. Not to mention how you have the best music taste. I kid you not when I play my Melanie playlist during a session, the majority of my clients will ask me to change the music. Do you know how many times I've had to sit in this room for hours listening to country music?” 
“Oh my…” Nick mumbles, a look of both horror and fear spreading across his features. The boy lets out a soft laugh before he says, “I swear if I had to listen to only country music during a tattoo session, I’d pass away in the chair.” 
“I almost did for a few sessions.” You say with a small laugh. “I’m down for listening to any genre of music but country is definitely where I cross the line.” 
“Oh, same here.” Nick agrees with a soft head nod. The brunette goes to open his mouth to add onto the conversation but is quickly cut off by a phone ringing. As you unwillingly flinch at the loud sound piercing your eardrums, Nick quickly digs his hand in the pocket of his pants. After a few seconds, the male pulls the device out and softly taps the screen to turn it on. 
When it lights up, his eyes immediately skim over the notifications filling his home screen. Upon reading a certain message, a small frown begins to form on Nick’s lips. At the sight of the sudden switch in the brunette’s mood, your eyebrows furrow, followed by your head tilting to the side slightly. 
“Everything alright?” You ask the male. After a moment of hesitation, you gently set a hand on Nick’s clothed shoulder, your pointer finger subconsciously caressing the soft fabric of his zip up. 
You manage to catch the male take a quick glance up at you before his eyes shift back down to his device. “Umm…” Nick hums, his voice barely above a whisper as he unlocks his phone and opens up his messages. After opening up a chat, the boy continues, “My brother is telling me to hurry up. Kids apparently starving to death in the car.” 
A soft chuckle slips through your lips as Nick sighs softly and begins typing out a response to the message sent from his brother. 
“Is he waiting outside or something?” You ask. 
“Yeah. Both my brothers are.” Nick replies with a small head nod. “I told them they could leave and pick me up when I'm done.” The boy grumbles under his breath, slight irritation present in his tone. After hitting the send button, the brunette finally lifts his head to look up at you. After heavily exhaling through his nose, the boy continues, “I’m afraid I have to go now.” 
At the sight of Nick’s frown depending, you bring the boy into another quick hug. “Hey, don’t sweat it. Come visit me sometime. The door is always open!” You reassure the boy as you rub comforting circles on his back once more. 
“But you’re so sweet and nice, I wanna stay.” Nick mumbles sadly. 
“I would definitely let you stay a bit longer but I don’t wanna get on your brothers’ bad sides. Also, I do think I have another appointment in 30 minutes and I need to start prepping for that.” 
With a loud, dramatic groan from Nick, the boy pulls away from your embrace. The small frown on his lips stays etched onto his face as he slowly slips off the wrapped recliner. “I suppose I'll go then.” Nick mumbles with a sigh, his shoulders dropping dramatically as he does so. “Thanks for the tats. I really appreciate it. You fucking did amazing.” 
“Of course! Also thanks, Nick. That means a lot.” You say with a small smile. “I'll see you soon hopefully?” 
“Most definitely. You’ll be seeing more of my ass in this shop. You’re never gonna get rid of me.” 
A small chuckle escapes your lips as you gently shake your head. After ensuring that he has all his belongings, Nick shuffles over to you and wraps his arms around your shoulders to pull you into yet another hug. You quickly reciprocate the affection by wrapping your arms loosely around his middle. 
After a moment, the boy pulls away and bids you a small ‘goodbye’ and another ‘thank you’ before exiting your room. After ensuring that the door is closed correctly, Nick spins around on his heels and begins his short walk to the front of the shop. Just as he approaches the front door, a familiar voice cusses him to momentarily stop in his tracks. 
“See you, Nick.” 
With a quick turn of the head, Nick locks eyes with the male, who he recently learned is named Mike thanks to you, who’s standing behind the front desk. The raven haired male has his head propped up on the palm of his left hand as the other is lazily draped on the wooden furniture in front of him. 
A small, sluggish smile decorates his features as he keeps intense eye contact with the brunette in front of him. Speaking of the boy, Nick stays frozen in his spot for a moment longer, his mind desperately searching for a decent response. After what felt like an eternity of staring at Mike, (which was really about six seconds) Nick finally opens his mouth to voice a response. 
“See you. Have a nice day.” 
With that, Nick rips his gaze away from the tattooed male and pushes the door open to rush out of the shop. As Nick seemingly bolts down the sidewalk, he nearly misses the van which is parked not far from the shop. Matt, noticing that his older brother has passed the car, quickly sets his hand on the car horn and pushes the area a few times. At the sound of the honking, Nick jumps and quickly turns around, his eyes wide in slight fear and his heart beating loudly in his ears. 
At the sight of the brunette staring at him and not moving a muscle, Matt sighs heavily and rolls down his window to stick his head out. “Get in the car you idiot!” The boy shouts before he plops back down on his seat. 
“Yeah, Big Yellow! Get in the car!” Chris exclaims, also rolling his window down slightly to poke his head out of the car. 
“I’m not even blonde anymore!” Nick shouts back, throwing his arms in the air in slight irritation. The brunette can faintly make out Chris giggling as he gets back in his seat and rolls his window back up. Nick huffs before his legs begin to bring him over to the van. 
Upon arriving at the side door, the boy pushes the button on the handle and waits for the door to slide open before he hops inside. He quickly pulls the lever on the door down to shut it before seating himself down on the seat, a heavy exhale escaping him as he feels the cold air conditioning inside the car nip at his nose. 
“Sooo,” Chris sings as he turns around in his seat to look back at the older, a wide smile clear as day on his face. “How’d it go? Was y/n nice?” 
“God, she was so fucking nice. I kid you not, I thought I was conversing with a literal angel. Not to mention how fucking pretty she is, holy fuck. The session went so smoothly I've never felt so comfortable and content with someone during a tattoo session.” Nick gushes, a bright smile immediately decorating his features as he sits at the edge of his seat, excitement radiating off him. 
“That’s great, Nick. I’m glad she was nice. Did you cry in front of her because of it?” Matt asks teasingly as his eyes shift up to the rear view mirror. 
Nick’s excited expression immediately falls at Matt’s question, his eyes quickly narrowing as he sends a glare to the younger boy through the mentioned overhead mirror. “No.” The boy replies flatly. 
“You’re a fucking liar. I know you cried in there.” 
“OKAY maybe I did. Leave me alone. She was too sweet and you know how emotional I get when I meet such kind people.”  At the sight of Nick turning his head towards the window with a small pout, Matt laughs softly and looks down, a single hand coming up to his face to rub his eyes. 
“Awh, Nick.” Chris chuckles. 
“I don't wanna hear it. Can we go now? I’m hungry.” Nick asks as he crosses his arms over his chest, his gaze staying fixated on the tattoo shop down the street. 
“We’re not gonna get a tattoo reveal?” Matt questions, a fake hurtful expression spreading across his face as he reaches for the gear shift.  
“I’ll show you guys when we get home. I don’t feel like tossing my leg on the center console like it’s a piece of raw meat and risk pulling something. I already walk fucking crooked as hell, I don’t wanna lose a leg and fuck up my walking even more.” 
Both Matt and Chris immediately dissolve into hysterical laughter at the older’s statement. The younger of the two bends forwards, loud laughter spewing from his lips like honey. Matt on the other hand bends his head down and rubs his eyes with both his hands, his mouth slightly wide as softer laughter falls from his lips. 
“He said raw meat.” Chris says through laughter, tilting his head to look over at Matt. 
“Fucking kid.” Matt giggles. 
“It’s literally not that funny. I seriously don’t understand how I can make you guys laugh that hard.” Nick says, confusion taking over his features as he finally turns his head to send judgemental looks to his two younger brothers. 
“You’re just a funny guy, Nick.” Chris says as he finally sits up right, a few giggles still escaping his lips as he wipes away the fake tears at his eyes. Nick raises an eyebrow at the male and shakes his head with a soft sigh before leaning back against his chair. 
“I think the correct term is silly, Chris.” Matt corrects the younger as he drops one of his hands from his face. 
“Matt…” Nick mumbles in pure disbelief as he pinches the bridge of his nose. “Don’t. Just don’t.” 
As Matt raises his hands up in surrender, Chris laughs softly and lands a few hits to his shoulder. 
“That’s fucking terrible.” Chris laughs, his eyes squinting as he doubles over in laughter yet again. A proud smile spreads across Matt’s lips as he pulls the gear shift down to reverse. As the male proceeds to pull out of the parking spot, the car fills with comfortable silence, occasional giggles coming from Chris as he scrolls through his Instagram feed. 
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sleepy-steve · 4 months ago
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@steddieangstyaugust 05/08 // ‘Please Please Please, Let Me Get What I Want’ by The Smiths
wc: 2.2k // rating: M // cw: language, negative self talk // tags: YEARNING, post-s4 but vecna dies, eddie has some self-esteem issues, mild references to sexual content
divider credits @steddiecameraroll-graphics
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Eddie isn’t sure when it started. When this… obsession took over his life. When he suddenly couldn’t think of anything but Steve Harrington.
It could have been when they started hanging out every day, the threat of otherworldly horrors gone and the Big Evil defeated. When they realised that while they don’t necessarily have much in common, they both care to learn about what the other likes.
It could have started before that, when Steve continually showed up to help him through his physical therapy, never wavering in his kindness despite how many times Eddie snapped in frustration or lashed out at him. Steve always took it in stride, but never patronised him. Or was it even before that? When Steve showed up everyday to his bedside in the hospital, at first appearing to just be chauffeuring Dustin, but then visiting on his own. Spending hours talking with him or letting the silence settle between them, filling the hours where Wayne couldn’t be there.
Shit, if Eddie really thought about it, it went further back than that too. Before Steve carried him out of hell and quite literally saved his life—though that alone was enough to make a guy swoon—and before the moment Eddie flirted with him in the RV (and really, what was he thinking with that?) and even before their little heart to heart in the aforementioned hell after the first bat attack.
No, if Eddie was honest with himself, it all went back to Steve’s surprise appearance in the boathouse, shoved up against the wall with a shard of glass pressed to his neck and fear in his eyes. Eddie remembers feeling Steve tremble as Eddie held tight to his jacket, watching as he swallowed, skin of his throat pressing against the glass. Eddie’s own hands shook around the broken bottle, from exertion and fear, and god help him he was not going down without a fight in that moment. Their all too literal colliding of worlds was not something he could have been prepared for, nevermind the fact that Eddie almost killed him. But it was that brief moment, so miniscule, right before Eddie let him go, that he realised Steve really wouldn’t hurt him. Despite being held up and almost having his throat slashed, Steve had dropped the oar.
It was the first hint he got that all those things Dustin had said about Steve were actually true. That all the ideas he’d previously had about Steve Harrington were undeniably false. And Eddie only continued to be proven wrong by the sheer magnitude of Steve’s kindness, his patience, his unending love for his friends. Which now, by some miracle, Eddie was a part of.
It had grown. Out of something that should have just been a trauma-bond that then dissolved once they were quote-unquote healed and realised they actually had nothing in common besides the shared experience of almost dying in an otherworldly dimension. It had grown into something much more than that, something that Eddie never really had before. He’d had friends before, sure, his little sheepies and his band mates, but nothing quite like this. It was both his fault and also not. When he arrived in middle school and was immediately bullied for daring to be a little bit different—despite the differences having more to do with his class status than anything he had truly picked at that time—the walls came up. People could get somewhat close to him, but ultimately Eddie decided just how much he would give to people, and arms length was always safest. They wouldn’t be able to hurt him at arms length.
And yet. Steve Harrington had somehow wormed himself past the walls, beyond the arms length barrier, and settled himself neatly within Eddie’s rib cage. Not only that, Steve brought along the rest of his little group, a family that knocked down Eddie’s walls and forged a space just for him. It went beyond the trauma bond. It had grown into something that almost felt like Steve cared about him. Actually, that wasn’t fair. Steve absolutely did care about Eddie. He’d shown it time and time again. Shown up and held tight and given his time and space and love, being the kind of best friend Eddie only dreamed of having.
And here he was, greedy. Desperately craving more. More of the connection, more of the love —platonic though it is—more of which he has already been given. Arguably he’s received far more than he ever thought he deserved (despite what his new friends might say). But Eddie can’t help it.
He wants. He craves.
He fucking aches for it.
It grips him in a chokehold, this desperation with which he begs to receive more. To have more. To be more. It wasn’t enough to have Steve’s friendship, Eddie wanted his whole heart. His whole soul, even. Every tiny speck of stardust that came together to create him, Eddie wanted it in his possession. Wanted it all to himself, to hoard like a dragon’s greatest treasure. To lock this man away and keep him safe and shower him with love and devotion every day for the rest of his life. He longed for it to the point of feeling more animal than man, a slave to his own desires. Helpless against his own hunger for a connection that would run bone deep between them, etched into his skull, woven into his blood. Eddie burned to fucking consume Steve Harrington and be consumed by him. To have their souls merge together in a supernova and, and, and…
And nothing. Because it would never happen. Not for Eddie, not the way that he wants it to. He reminds himself constantly that he should just be grateful to have the friendship, to cherish it for the special thing that it is. That guys like Steve Harrington didn’t want guys like Eddie Munson, at least not in that way. Not in the way Eddie wanted, because Eddie never got what he wanted.
Well, not never. But rarely. When he goes down this spiral, he struggles to remember times he has actually gotten what he wanted. In love, in romance? Never. Kisses—too fast, too hard, too scared—shared with boys who met him behind the bleachers and didn’t know what they wanted. Or rather, did know but wished they didn’t. Those that ended in the boys running away, or worse, threatening to hit him—to kill him—if Eddie dared to speak about what happened. Not that anyone would believe a jock would ever turn to Eddie The Freak Munson, even as an experiment. That’s all he ever was when he was younger, an experiment. It was all he thought he deserved, at least until he got a bit older and was able to venture out of Hawkins. Then came other stuff. Quick, filthy hookups in club bathrooms and dark alleyways in Indy. A stranger’s tongue in his mouth and their hands in each other’s pants and maybe their mouths on each other and the flash of a smile before leaving and he’d never see them again. It was fine. He got what he set out for in those moments, but nothing more. He never felt like he was owed more, never felt worthy of more, so why would anyone give him that? At least they didn’t end in threats of violence. At least he felt desired, somewhat. But, if given the chance, he’d trade all those experiences for one night of feeling like he was the prize, like he was the one worth fighting for, like someone wanted his heart.
And the craziest part was… sometimes he did feel that way. Sometimes Steve made him feel that way. Like Eddie was the most special person on the planet. Like no one else could draw his attention away. Like they were the only two people in the world. Like Steve could actually…
No. It wasn’t like that. Eddie had to remind himself endlessly. It wasn’t like that. This love wasn’t reserved just for Eddie, who watched Steve share it with all of them. When he picked up Dustin to take him wherever he wanted to go, despite the squabbling they shared. The way he and Robin seemed to read each other's minds, attached at the hip whenever possible. How he helped Max after she got out of the hospital, ready to drop everything at a second’s notice if she needed him. Spending afternoons training basketball with Lucas, giving him all of his tips and shining with pride at his skills.
Still… there was something. Something in the way Steve’s eyes lit up whenever Eddie arrived. Something in the way he was almost always too close, fingers brushing as beers were passed, arms and legs pressed against each other during movie nights, arms held tight when nightmares returned, and one glorious evening of warm cuddling and dreamless sleep after sharing a joint. Eddie lived in those moments, let them play on an endless loop in his mind, reading deep into each tiny interaction. Thinking about every smile sent his way and was it any different from the smiles anyone else got? God, he wanted to believe Steve had a special one just for him. One that was a little bit softer and sweeter and shyer.
The idea is nice, but it’s washed away by the cold reality of the fact that it would never happen. Even if, by some miracle, Steve was anything other than straight, why would he want Eddie? He could have anyone he wanted. And Eddie wouldn’t get what he wanted because that’s just how life was for him. Though he may beg and plead with invisible entities for it, though he might crave and ache to the point of feeling feral with it, though he might promise—swear on his life—to himself and anyone up there listening that he’d treat Steve so well if given the chance, Eddie knew it just wasn’t on the cards. The sooner he accepted that the better.
His resolve in place—forget about it, or at least bury it until it could be forgotten—Eddie makes his way up the driveway to the Harrington house. He wouldn’t think about it for the entirety of movie night. He absolutely would not.
“Hey, man!” Steve answers the door with a perfect smile and joy in his eyes. Eddie’s resolve wobbles. “Just in time.”
Eddie takes a moment to steel himself, firmly reminding himself of his goal, as he follows Steve into the house. And it lasts for all of two minutes before he’s pulled down onto the sofa, thigh pressed against Steve’s. Was there truly any reason for Eddie to be tortured this way? He tries to remember that Robin is on the other side of Steve, and that there’s limited room on the sofa but fucking hell… Their shoulders brush, the soft grazes through layers of fabric sending Eddie’s mind spinning, until Steve places his arm around behind Eddie on the sofa-back, not quite touching but close enough to feel the heat of his skin. And god, this is so much worse. The desire to lean in and cuddle him, just nestle right in and have Steve’s arm around him, drives him crazy. The idea that they could… that this could be normal for them, domestic even. It went beyond the physical, Eddie wanted to take care of him. To show him the love Steve had so willingly given to him, and give it back ten-fold, hundred-fold. To create a life with him. To be proud of him and show him off and love him endlessly. To go to the ends of the earth to grant Steve his every wish, if he could just have one chance, he was begging—
Get it together! Eddie’s internal voice hisses at him, and he tries to shove all his thoughts back down into a vault, feeling a bit like trying to get water back into a broken hydrant. He does his best, managing to get it back down to a simmer, rather than a rapid boil.
Steve shifts slightly, suddenly a bit closer. It all comes rushing back. The warmth where their thighs are touching becomes burning hot and all the aching, craving, yearning, wanting that Eddie tried to shove down and out of his mind is suddenly front and centre and focused on the way Steve laughs and those glorious moles dotting down his neck. He feels insane with longing, desperate to press his lips to those moles, as if that could ever convey the depth of his feelings for the man beside him. Overcome with the need to drag his fingers through that beautiful hair and maybe even pull on it a little, just to see what kind of noise Steve makes, Eddie hears the tiny voice in his mind telling him off for staring. He just can’t seem to drag his eyes away. Steve throws his head back with a laugh, exposing his throat, and Eddie might as well perish right then and there, distraught with how much he wants to bite it. To just sink his teeth into the skin and feel Steve’s pulse beneath with his tongue. To leave bites and bruises all over his body, everywhere Eddie thinks is beautiful…
Before he can summon enough shame to look away, Steve catches his eye, and just grins, eyes lit up with that same brightness he always seems to have when looking at him.
Eddie’s a fucking goner.
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amica-aenigmata-naboo · 10 months ago
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May I?
Astarion x Y/N - drabble - 1.4K WC
Masterlist
Warnings: fluff, illusion to trauma, Cazador mention, soft Astarion, suggested smut, so sweet you will literally get a cavity
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“I don’t know how else to be with someone… no matter how much I’d like to be.”
You had never heard someone sound so sad, conflicted, and scared. But all you could do was smile gently at him. “May I hold your hand?” you asked him.
His eyes widened ever so slightly, nobody had ever asked before they touched him. He nodded at you.
“I like you Astarion, I don’t have to have sex with you to know that. I also know what it is to be afraid of touch, to be violated. We never have to do anything you aren’t comfortable with.” you squeezed his hand gently to emphasize your point as you looked into his eyes.
He pondered for a moment, “I… I’d like that. You’re full of surprises aren’t you?” 
You laughed slightly before pulling him towards the campfire to join your friends. 
------------------------------------
Astarion splashed water at you while you attempted to chase him. Both of you standing in the lake up to your hips. You laughed and giggled like you were having the best time of your life. The sky was orange with pink clouds, making the blue water look tinged with gold. You had never seen Astarion smile so much. The two of you continued splashing around for what felt like hours before you stilled. You held your arm up as the sun slipped behind the horizon. 
You watched as the light and warmth slipped away from your fingers. “Goodbye friend, see you tomorrow.” you whispered.
Astarion looked at you quizzically, not understanding your strange little ritual. 
Your eyes met his and your face instantly felt hot, embarrassed he had seen such a private moment. “I was a rather lonely child. But the sun, my constant companion, came back every day just to greet me.” you explained to him as you ghosted your fingers over the lake's surface making ripples dance across its glassy surface. 
Astarion smiled, “Quite the opposite for me. All those years, the moon was my only companion. I took comfort in her ethereal glow.” Astarion copied your movements, your ripples colliding with his.  “Do you think you could ever be without the sun?” he asked, his rounding with a hint of worry. 
“The sun will always rise again for me no matter how long I am away. What about you? Think you could survive without the moon?” you answered.
“She hasn’t failed me yet.” he said cheekily. He leaned forward a bit, his hand twitching towards yours. 
You opened your hand to him but kept it distant, giving him the choice to come to you or not. He gently slid his cold fingers between yours. You smiled at each other, listening to the rustle of the leaves and the water lapping against you. You watched the moon for a bit, talking about the stars and whatever else interested you both.
And before you knew it, your old friend was making its way back into the sky. 
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You stood over the fire, waiting for the small pot of water to boil so you could make yourself some tea before turning in for the night. You yawned; everyone else was asleep but the sweet dream world eluded you. You heard steps behind you, instantly knowing it was Astarion by how light they were.
“Can’t sleep?” he asked quietly.
You hummed in response as you turned to him. “May I hug you?” you asked him.
He smiled, “Of course darling.” he opened his arms to you.
You instantly slipped into his embrace, sighing with happiness. His broad chest was cold but inviting. You nuzzled into him feeling sleepy already. You heard the water boiling and pulled away from his embrace. You made a cup of tea for both you and him; two sugars and a little milk, just the way he liked. 
Astarion gently pulled you back into his chest as you both sipped your tea. You drank it quickly, the warmth from the tea lulling you to sleep. You dozed off, turning on your side and shuffling closer to Astarion. 
You were curled up against him, like a cat, he thought to himself. He smiled down at you, watching your chest rise and fall with shallow breaths. He gently pushed your hair out of the way, “Gods I love you.” he mumbled. He stayed like that the whole night, reveling in your soft touch. 
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Astarion pulled you into his favorite jewelry shop in all of Baldur’s Gate, The Glitter Gala. He excitedly looked at all the pieces in the cases. His eyes focused on a ruby pendant with an onyx chain. He quickly moved on, you noticed he never bought anything for himself despite having quite a bit of gold between the two of you. You cursed Cazador in moments like these, knowing that Astarion didn’t buy anything because he knew he wouldn’t be allowed to keep it when he was a slave. You broke away from him momentarily and quickly bought the pendant so he wouldn’t see. You excitedly clenched your pocket every now and then, just wanting to know you had the pendant. 
Later, when you sat in his tent listening to him read you laid your head on his lap. He absent mindedly played with your locks, both of you finding it comforting.
“Close your eyes and give me your hand.” you said.
He eyed you suspiciously, cautiously holding his hand out and covering his eyes with the other. 
“No peeking!” you giggled when you saw him look between his fingers. 
He closed his eyes for good, feeling something cold and smooth in his palm. 
“Ok, open your eyes!” you said excitedly, sitting up.
Astarion gazed at the very same pendant he looked at earlier but denied himself. He rubbed his thumb over the smooth ruby before he looked at you. His eyes were misty and you could see he was holding back tears. 
“I don’t remember the last time somebody got me a gift,” he whispered. 
Your eyes softened and you shuffled closer to him. He pulled you into a hug and as you leaned back, he tilted your chin up and kissed you softly. You pulled back, smiling as you clasped the pendant around his neck. 
You ran your thumb over the ruby, “I enchanted it… your armor is twice as strong as long as you wear this.” 
Astarion quickly wiped the tears from his eyes before he cradled your face, “Thank you little love, this is… absolutely wonderful.”
“May I kiss you again?” you asked politely.
“Please…” he said under his breath.
You hooked your finger under the onyx chain, gently pulling him towards you before your lips met again in a sweet kiss. 
------------------------------------
Astarion laid on the ground after Orin kicked him in the chest, he saw her raise her sword and prepared to feel the sting of the blade. When nothing came down, he opened his eyes. He saw you rush her, tackling her to the ground. He stayed on the ground, watching in awe as you pinned her beneath you.
“Nobody touches him.” you growled in her face before swiftly slitting her throat. 
Astarion scrambled over to you, helping you up. Blood dripped off your face, you kept your eyes on Orin, rage still seething within you. 
“You’re alright darling, I’ve got you.” Astarion said, “Are we done here?” he asked the others. They nodded to him, Karlach beginning to search Orin’s corpse for anything useful. Astarion nodded before opening the sigil, taking you both back to camp.
You took a bath, Astarion waited for you outside. You noticed him smiling at you as you brushed your hair. “What?” you said, turning to look at him.
“When you killed Orin, I’ve never seen you look so…” he started.
“Deranged?” you asked, a tinge of fear in your voice. Today was easily your most savage moment, something took over you when she dared to touch Astarion.
“Attractive,” he said with a smirk, “Honestly my sweet, I would have taken you then and there if I could have.” 
Your mouth parted slightly, you felt a familiar heat pool between your legs. 
His hands gently parted your legs as he kneeled before you while you sat at your vanity. “May I?” he said as he looked between your eyes and your crotch with what you could only describe as animalistic hunger. 
You nodded, throwing your head back as he dove in like a man starved.
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Naboo's Note:
Hello!!! Hope everyone likes this, I am working overnight for the next few days so I will try to pump out a new fic or two because what the fuck else do I have to do during this time lol. I hope ya'll are doing well. As always, thank you for the likes, comments, reblogs, and requests. XOXOXOXOXOXO!!!
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obsessedwithceleste · 8 months ago
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Deflections
Mattheo Riddle x reader
Interlocked pt 2
Summary: deflect (verb) to cause (someone) to deviate from an intended purpose.
word count: 2.5k
©️ obsessedwithceleste. This work belongs to me and should not be reposted or copied in any way or form.
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Getting close to Mattheo was significantly easier than you had initially anticipated.
Upon your return to Hogwarts you had hesitantly agreed to Professor Dumbledore’s plan with the stipulation that if the old wizard even suspected that you or Mattheo were ever in serious danger- the plan would be called off immediately, and measures would be taken to ensure everyone's safety.
The old man had seemed surprised when you included the boy’s well being as well as your own in your set of conditions, but hadn’t pushed the issue.
You had worried of course, that you might not even be able to get the plan off the ground. How was one supposed to magically appear in someone’s life? You hadn’t found any spells to help you in that particular area. Fortunately for you however, Dumbledore seemed to have pulled some strings as you were currently sat next to the curly haired boy in your assigned seat while you waited for your next class to begin.
You debated trying to start up conversation with the boy, but really what were you supposed to say? Hey, how’s dear ole dad? No. Got any deep, dark secrets you’d like to share with the class? Obviously not.
Lucky for you, Harry chose that exact moment to burst through the doors, muttering something anxiously to Hermione who honestly just looked exasperated.
“Harry please, just drop it for now,” she sighs, stopping and shaking her head at the boy.
“Mione it’s important!” Harry protests, shooting a nervous glance at Draco, and then the boy next to you.
You watch as Mattheo glares at the dark haired boy, a snarl forming on his lips as Harry continues to give him suspicious glances.
“Oh come off it Harry, just sit down, class is supposed to start soon anyway,” you speak up, hoping prevent any spats this early into the school year.
Hermione gives you a look of gratitude before steering Harry off into the direction of their own seats on the opposite side of the classroom.
“You ladies sure do have boy wonder on a tight leash,” Mattheo says after a moment once Harry is out of earshot.
You let out a surprised snort, looking at the boy next to you.
“That boy is a menace. And I’m not even that friendly with them. It’s a wonder Hermione is able to keep him and Ron alive half the time,” you reply cheekily.
Mattheo let’s put a laugh and you’re surprised by how genuinely happy the boy could sound. You had supposed happy moments were few and far between for him.
“So are you friends with them then?” He asks
“Friendly is the word I’d use for it,” you tell him. “More so with Hermione than the boys. She’s the one who invited me to join the DA last year. Probably wouldn’t have gotten involved otherwise.”
You watch as Mattheo tilts his head in consideration, fingers tapping rapidly against the desk.
“Wish us Slytherins had been invited. We hated Umbridge just as much as everyone else,” he says with a scowl. “Except maybe Draco, but man will use any excuse he can get to go on a power trip.”
You laugh softly at the last bit, but can’t help the guilt that rises up in you at the truth behind the boy’s words. It was true, every other house had been included in the DA, yet no one had bothered to acknowledge the distinct lack of green robes amongst them.
Before you can reply, Snape glides dramatically into the class room, eyes lingering momentarily on you and Mattheo before he moved on to the front of the room. It seemed he’d finally convinced the headmaster to give him the post for Defense Against the Dark Arts.
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The next time you run into Mattheo is quite literal as you collide with the boy as you’re both browsing the never ending shelves of the Hogwarts library.
You were lost in your own little world, eyes scanning the worn down spines of the texts in a determined search. You didn’t even see him coming.
It only takes a split second to feel the weight hit you, the air escaping your lungs for a moment as the books in your arms thud to the ground.
“Shit, sorry bout that,” a deep voice mumbles, scrambling to grab at the books littering the floor.
As soon as you regain focus on the situation, you’re surprised to find the one and only Mattheo Riddle on the floor next to you. You hadn’t realized he was one to lurk about the library.
“It’s alright. We really should do this on purpose sometime,” you laugh as the boy sheepishly helps you pick your scattered books up off the floor.
The boy beside you freezes, looking at you with a shocked expression as the words leave your mouth.
“You want to be around me? On purpose?” He asks in a sort of disbelief as he eyes you warily.
You feel your heart clench at the earnestness with which the boy speaks. Clearly there were layers to this boy that others simply hadn’t cared to uncover. There were so many expectations that you had of the boy, but thus far, he'd crushed every one of them. He just seemed. Human. And yet not even the professors at the school cared to find out if this boy really was like his father. He was simply cast to the side, ever suspicious and conniving. Being the son of one of the most feared wizards in Britain, it probably came with the territory. But it felt absolutely cruel to be manipulating someone who really had no say in this upcoming war.
You had always thought that Dumbledore was the leader of the light. The epitome of goodness and moral strength, but looking at the curly haired boy in front of you made you wonder. Why were children doing the adult’s heavy lifting?
“Well sure. You were great in class the other day, and we don’t choose our family. We find it.” You reply, a tight lipped smile stretching across your face.
Mattheo was fucking stressed. The moment he had stepped foot back at Hogwarts with Lorenzo and Draco, it was like a mountain had been lifted off of his shoulders, only for a mansion to be dropped back on top of him.
Sure while they were at school they were technically out of his father’s reach. But the tasks he had assigned each of them? They loomed over the boys like a puppet master towered over his wobbling little marionettes.
The only one the boys could really focus on at the moment was Enzo’s task. To repair a broken vanishing cabinet. None of them wanted to think about Draco’s task. Mattheo shuddered at the thought. And then of course there was his.
It had been easy enough to find a target. Snape had practically handed him the perfect victim on a silver platter, seating him next to one of Potter’s friends in DADA. Maybe it was the flaring teenage defiance in him. Or the fact that the girl had turned out to be rather fit and witty, but the idea of seducing the girl at the demand of his father absolutely repulsed Mattheo.
His whole situation was fucked really. He could feel the burning in his forearm even now as his eyes scanned the library shelves. He hadn’t wanted any of this. None of them had. Draco may have been proud to hear his father’s mark at one point, but he knew better now. They all did. And they were suffering for it.
There wasn't a single day that the boy's didn't feel as though they were suffocating under the weight of it all. And then to make matters worse, they had dear Saint Potter up their arses, sniffing about where he had no business.
All these thoughts swirled through Mattheo’s thoughts as he haphazardly searched the library shelves for any and all books pertaining to repair spells, hoping to find something- anything that would aid Lorenzo.
Just as he’s turning into the next row of books, he runs straight into another student, jolting them forward as books fly out of their arms.
“Shit, sorry bout that,” he mutters, bending down to collect some of the fallen books.
When his eyes travel up again, he finds himself staring into the warm eyes of the very girl he’d been thinking of moments before. He must’ve bloody manifested her or something.
Your words echo softly in his head, the only thing really registering being the fact that you had asked to spend time with him.
Maybe in another life Mattheo would've been popular with the ladies of Hogwarts. He was attractive. He knew that. But no one wanted to associate with the likes of him when his father was looming about. Up to this point, students had been avoiding him like the bubonic plague. Mattheo couldn’t help but admire your confidence and the ease with which you conducted yourself around him as he stared at you with shock.
Under normal circumstances he would be attracted to you. Fuck. Under these circumstances he was bloody attracted to you.
“You want to be around me? On purpose?” He blurts out, immediately cursing his own idiocy.
“Well sure. You were great in class the other day, and we don’t choose our family. We find it.”
Yeah. He was done for. It feels like a warm, fuzzy blur as Mattheo agrees to meet there in the library the following night to study. And the world seems to move in slow motion as he makes his way back to his dorm as if in a trance.
“Find anything useful?” Lorenzo asks as soon as Mattheo steps through the door. He looks more ragged than normal. Hair askew and dark blue forming under his eyes. His usually go-lucky grin is subdued.
Mattheo shakes his head, slumping onto his bed.
“Think I might’ve accidentally begun my own task,” he grumbles, burying his head in his pillow. Maybe he should just suffocate himself now.
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Glass shatters, glittering fragments scattering about the floor as Mattheo lets out a frustrated roar.
Lorenzo looks tiredly at his friend and then at the vase, previously in his friend’s hands, and now littering the floor with disinterest. It had been months of working endlessly on the blasted cabinet with little to no progress made. These bursts of outrage from Mattheo were nothing new.
“I’ll kill him myself! Fuck him. Fuck this. Fuck!” The curly haired boy raged, knocking another vase off of one of the random tables crammed into the wretched place.
“Let’s just call it a night,” Draco intervenes before Mattheo could cause any more damage to their surroundings.
The boy was seething, chest rising and falling rapidly.
���Go work on your own task hmm? That always calms you down,” Enzo adds, a sly smile forming on his tired face.
No matter how stressed the boys were, they always had the energy to tease him, Mattheo thought dryly to himself. He could feel his fists clenched tightly, still shaking as he focused on reigning himself back in.
“We reconvene tomorrow night. Snape got me a pass for the restricted section. I’ll take a look and report back,” Draco decides, the three of them making their way out of the room of hidden things.
Mattheo had calmed down significantly, but was still silently fuming as he spotted you in your usual spot next to the fireplace in the library.
He was mad at the world really. Mad that he was cursed with an evil thing to call a father. Mad that that thing was threatening his friends. Mad that there was nothing he could do about it. Mad that no one with any real power was doing anything about it. And mad that he was supposed to be manipulating the beautiful girl in front of him.
“Someone looks like they’ve had a rough night. Did Enzo set your bed on fire again?” You ask, looking up and noticing the rather mesmerizing boy hovering in front of you.
It had been months since the two of you had first started meeting in the library and it had been terribly awkward at first to be honest. The boy seemingly had locked up every single defining trait about him and surrounded himself with wall after wall.
It had taken time, but slowly and surely, the boy had begun to let you in. He was weary of course. Anyone would be in his position you supposed. But it was surprising how easily the two of you seemed to fit together.
Mattheo hums roughly as he plops down beside you, arm wrapping securely around you as you turn to face the boy.
“Just. Stuff with my father. You know how it always is,” he sighs, running a hand through his wild, curly hair.
You didn’t really. If there was one thing that Mattheo was always closed off about, it was his father. Not that you could blame him of course. He was actually rather open about his own life once you had gotten to know him a bit. Not hesitating to share with you the many escapades of him and his fellow Slytherins. But as soon as his father was mentioned, he snapped right back shut.
“Hmm, tell me about it?” You ask carefully, turning to face the boy fully as your hand traces the back of his.
You’re close enough to see the faint line of the scar that marred the boy’s pretty face, and how his eyes seemed to darken as his whole body tensed.
You let your thumb rub the soft skin of his wrist gently, resting your head in his shoulder as you wait patiently for the boy to speak.
Something else you’d gotten good at was calming the boy down when his anger flared up. Your silent support seeming to sooth whatever was raging beneath the surface.
You were trying to pick the boy’s brain. You knew that. And it felt grimy. Sickening really. It had taken weeks for the boy beside you to really trust you, and how did you repay him? By whispering in Dumbledore’s ear.
Mattheo lets out a deep sigh, resting his head on yours.
“My father.” He begins slowly, voice barely above a shakey whisper, “he assigned us tasks. Me, and Draco, and Enzo.”
You remain quiet as the weight of his words take hold. Harry had been going on all year about how he was sure the Slytherin boys were working for Voldemort. How could they not be with his very son leading them? But to hear it from Mattheo himself made the situation all the more real.
You wait a moment as the silence stretches on, and when the boy doesn’t elaborate further, you grasp onto the boy’s hand, giving it a tight squeeze.
“You’re not running away in horror.” Mattheo murmurs, eyes focused on the floor in front of him.
“You’ll have to try harder than that to get rid of me.”
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The office of the headmaster was all too familiar at this point. The eyes of the portraits gazing upon the familiar visitor with disinterest.
Your stomach was in knots as the old man before you gazes at you steadily.
“Harry was right. They are working for Voldemort. Mattheo, Draco, and Lorenzo. He assigned them all tasks, but he wouldn’t say what.”
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