#they didnt grate on me and they were just as obvious

[hopeheartfilia]

okay i got yo the amv in the hbomber video. what the fuck. and a wiki? right after? my guy my dude

i think ive seen this specific video that comments on the queer theming of korra and i do believe that is about where i stopped trying because even while cooking i got that he was saying bullshit

which is mostly due to me having opinions about the queer themes in korra but like damn weve finally hit the one video of his i almost managed to watch

[jaeminvore]

BLUR. | N.JM (M)

SYNOPSIS: Waking up to the sunlight blazing onto your face and hungover was one thing. Waking up to the sunlight blazing onto your face, hungover and in a bed that wasn’t your own in nothing but a pair of sweatpants that were obviously not yours, was another and a punishment specifically made for you—your own personal hell.

CONTENT WARNINGS: MINORS DO NOT INTERACT. dub-con, Jaemin’s a freak and a little fucked in the head, afab!reader, (ex)boyfriend’s best friend, sex under the influence of alcohol, protected sex (wrap it before you tap it!), sex-tapes, nudes (but make it artsy), face/throat-fucking, dirty-talk, mild possessiveness, mild obsession, smidge of fluff surprisingly, voyeurism and exhibitionism (kinda?), open-ended.

WORD COUNT: 7.5K

note: first of all, happy birthday to one of my favorite leos, Jaemin 💖 idk how many times i’ve looped the song but i think it was enough for me to come up with a fic inspired by it 💀 originally, this was supposed to be posted sooner but hey! Better late than never! Heed the warnings i beg if you don’t like the sound of this then please, you are absolutely free to click off! Other than that, please enjoy the filth ~

“You’re every single thing that I deserve. Maybe that’s too boring. ‘Cause I might say some thing you’ve never heard. Like I did last night, what a blur.” — Blur by Lolo Zouaï

You

hyuck

oh my fucking god HYUCK

WAKE UP

haechan

ugh woman WHA T

You

HELP

haechan

?? are you dying

wait where did you even go last night?

i didnt see u anywhere after like

well i dont remember

You

home

haechan

.

ok how tf am i gonna help with that

You

but its not MY home

and im pretty sure i slept with whoever took me here

haechan

😟

i’ll be at ur place

“Jesus—the guy try to eat you or something?”

You winced, covering the marks left by whoever fucking psycho thought they were a vampire.

Seriously, was all that really necessary? Leaving obvious bite marks and bruises to the point it looked like an animal attempted to maul you beyond recognition? Anyone with a functioning brain would obviously veto that idea in a heartbeat. Anyone with a modicum of chivalry could have stopped themselves from making your neck look like it did.

You were a contributing member to society and the thought of facing endless questions about your otherwise wild night out, at work of all places, was mortifying enough as it is. You had places to be. You had people to meet. 

One of those ‘people you had to meet’ happened to be Donghyuck. A constant presence in your day-to-day life and was essentially your best friend. Your ride or die. There should be some bias for one another when it comes to this friendship built from finding each other in bathrooms of college parties with either one’s head stuck in the toilet bowl.

You’ve literally seen each other at your worst, but Donghyuck was a Gemini first through and through. You weren’t one to succumb to the belief of stereotypes, yet Donghyuck proudly wore being two-faced like a badge of honor. He was your best friend, but he was also your worst enemy and never would he miss the opportunity in making you squirm underneath the palpable judgment swimming side-by-side with the curiosity alight in his eyes.

“Does it look that bad?” you asked quietly, just as curious, but leaning more towards your own reassurance.

The loud, grating laughter he let spill past his lips was enough to tell you that, yeah, it’s pretty gnarly and the likelihood of you getting some weird looks was at a moderate high.

“All I’m saying is—” he said then cleared his throat, “—is you’re gonna have to like, use half a tube of your best concealer.” he jeered, taking his time to assess the damage with an amused twitch of his lips before picking up the remote.

Case in point.

Although Donghyuck spoke the truth and nothing but the truth, that didn’t stop you from flicking his ear in retaliation as the last thing you wanted to ruin your mood was Donghyuck’s super helpful (read: useless) input. As if he was any better. You couldn’t count the number of times he found himself in ‘sticky’ situations that even the most promiscuous of people would cover their mouths, scandalized at the many many recounts of (questionable) conquests of getting his dick wet as many times as he could.

(That’s not to say you were completely innocent. Your sexual appetite was at a healthy mid to high. Donghyuck was just shameless. You, on the other hand, were not).

The wounded noise from Donghyuck went ignored as you stood up, stretched your arms up high and headed to the kitchen to get something into your empty stomach.

Waking up to the sunlight blazing onto your face and hungover was one thing.

Waking up to the sunlight blazing onto your face, hungover and in a bed that wasn’t your own in nothing but a pair of sweatpants that were obviously not yours, was another and a punishment specifically made for you—your own personal hell. A thing to note was the sweatpants were from a brand that you haven’t even heard of. Ever. Either this guy’s a fashion snob, or he’s filthy fucking rich, though something in you persisted that he was probably the latter.

No. Scratch that. It’s a hundred percent the latter.

You’ve been here before. Sober during those very few times, to be frank, and you desperately wished that you didn’t know who lived in this pretentiously decorated bachelor’s pad.

You thought waking up in a stranger’s bed was bad? Try waking up in your ex-boyfriend’s best friend’s bed with no recollection of what happened last night. Trying to remember was proven useless when the memories were all but blurry, flashing images you couldn’t for the life of you sharpen with the power of your mind—that was still recovering from the hangover—alone.

It really wasn’t the best morning. It was arguably one of the worst.

Seeing one of his cats perched on top of the highest point of the cat tower in the far corner of the bedroom was already a bad omen in and of itself, slanted eyes locked on your every move and she (you had a faint idea that this was one of his girls) even followed you to the bathroom! Which, okay, wasn’t that awful considering she hadn’t meowed or hissed at you in warning (yet).

All the cat did was hop onto the marble counter of Jaemin’s bathroom, sat back primly and watched you get rid of the accumulated grime on your face before going crazy with the array of skincare the man had out in the open. It was really his fault for leaving you unattended.

Speaking of Jaemin, he was nowhere to be found.

There were no signs of him even as you padded into the wide expanse of the living area. No signs of life in the kitchen either aside from the two other cats Jaemin had in his care and strangely enough, they too didn’t seem to be alarmed by your presence. You’ve only been here a few times with your then boyfriend, Jeno. Played with them a little too. Maybe the cats had sharper memories than you gave them credit for.

All of that aside, Jaemin’s absence was a huge relief on your part. Being drunk five margaritas in around him was embarrassing though still salvageable by a brief but genuine apology. Conversing with him was rare, sure, but the few conversations with him were adequate for you to lump him with one of the good ones.

Yet.

Yet.

This—being in your ex-boyfriend’s best friend’s fucking apartment of all places—felt like there was more to what you initially thought could have happened that made you stay the night.

It’s been so long since you’ve last seen your ex, much less Jaemin, as he wasn’t exactly one to go out as often, but your alcohol-addled brain had momentarily lost its grasp on the supposed built-in survival instinct that you let yourself get whisked away by him. 

Possibly let him have his way with you (in your drunken haze) as you thought back to the mild soreness in between your legs.

Whatever the possibilities were, you had no luxury to narrow them down right now. Not when you had bigger problems.

You had to get out of here. Fast.

“Holy shit.”

Was what you heard the very second the grilled cheese and bacon sandwich you planned on sharing was placed on the plate.

At first, you didn’t think much of Donghyuck’s exclamation. Dramatics were his thing and you were used to being subjected to them so often that you barely blinked when Donghyuck followed it up with a sharp gasp. You were just about to write it off as ‘none of your business’—unlike Donghyuck who made sure to make his business everyone else’s—when what he said next made you pause.

“Y/N, you have got to see this.”

Now adding you to the mix got your attention. Picking up the urgent yet intrigued intonation from Donghyuck’s demand was enough to put brunch on the back burner as you rushed back to the small living area. The TV was put on mute. It was the first detail you noticed before pinning your gaze onto your best friend still on the couch and you immediately knew something was wrong with the way his shoulders almost touched his ears from sitting too stiffly.

Donghyuck had your phone in his hand when you sat down beside him which wasn't exactly new to you. He somehow figured out your pass-code (“it was your birth date,” Donghyuck clarified. “It wasn’t that hard to figure out. What do you have against Face ID anyway?”) and you couldn’t find the energy to change it. It wasn't like you had anything to hide. You lived a pretty uneventful life, completely juxtaposing with whatever he had going on at his end, so you didn’t really mind the nosiness.

One look at his face, however, made you reconsider the leniency towards your privacy.

Donghyuck had this innate talent of pissing off people by his many facial expressions alone. He looked like the cat that ate the canary; probably planning on swallowing it down with cream to egg you on further and you just know whatever he had to say—or show in this case—was bound to raise your blood pressure to new heights.

“What,” it was meant to be a question, and the annoyance that managed to creep into the mono-syllable was amusing enough to Donghyuck that the annoying grin grew into almost splitting his face in half.

You rolled your eyes so hard that you wondered why you weren’t stuck staring at your brain from how often you did this at his expense. “Seriously, what?”

Donghyuck silently handed your phone over, still looking like the devil’s incarnate that it was almost an eerie resemblance, yet you still humored him.

You soon found that there was no humor in this situation.

All the budding annoyance had come to a screeching halt the moment your phone found its rightful home in your grasp.

From your abysmal screen-time, you should be used to its lightness, yet the device felt heavier than it should. It was like having the weight of the world in your palms and what’s worse, you could feel your blood running cold in real time as you peered down at the small screen leering right back at you, taunting you.

What greeted you was the opened camera roll that somehow accumulated pictures upon pictures of you stripped down to your most promiscuous state of undress. The sight was daunting to say the least that some crazed part of you thought your phone had become sentient; goading you with each flick of your thumb to scroll through them, further stripping you of your modesty. As if it was a digital flip book of yourself, illustrating you and one of you rare conquests of hunting down warm body to fuck around with.

The sheer amount of them was almost laughable, just imagining the person on the other side of the lens doing their absolute damnedest in making sure no small detail was out of place; that you came out debauched, yet still gorgeous enough to overlook the depravity of their nature.

You weren’t sure if this could be compared to nudes. Not when there were some traces of artistry behind each photo that if you were less than sane, you would have your thanks at the ready for making the vision—whatever it was—come alive with an iPhone camera.

There was a joke begging to be voiced out somewhere. A joke your best friend would immensely appreciate knowing it was centered around you and your bad decisions, however, that thought was quickly forgotten when something else caught your eye.

A video. Videos, you’ve come to find out as you scrolled further. Almost never ending with the amount that it was overwhelming compared to that of the photos lacking depth and movement.

The state of the thumbnails didn’t help ease the heavy feeling in your gut either.

Each and every single one of them could very well belong on the number of porn platforms you were vaguely aware of. They left nothing to the imagination where you could just tell what obscenities you—namely drunk you—were up to despite having no recollection of this ever happening. Just how much alcohol did you let in your system that you blacked out the entire night? This was one of the many mysteries that will continue to haunt you unless you get some clarity soon.

It would be a lie if you said you weren’t the least bit curious of your own drunken thought process (you were still processing what you were seeing, actually) and it was obvious your best friend was just as curious, impatiently so that he snatched your phone back, chose one form the myriad of video clips and pressed play, all under a second or two.

“Dude, what the fuck?” Donghyuck earned an elbow to his side for his haste, but all he did was shush you and moved the phone closer for a better view. As if an almost seven-inch screen could grant a cinematic experience, but you’ll take what you could get.

“There you go.”

And there you go, body locking up the moment the awfully familiar, deep and roughened voice came out of the phone’s speakers.

A simple sentence spoken with a cadence so sluggish that you had to fight hard to remind yourself that he didn’t always sound like he was forcing you to unravel with his words alone. Jaemin just had this peculiar habit of putting half the effort into enunciating his words almost to the point where he sounded lazy and you assumed it was the alcohol that made this habit of his more pronounced than ever.

The alcohol turned him into someone, hell, some otherworldly being that the more you heard him speak, the likelihood of a blood vessel popping due to how wound up you’ve progressively become was at a high. It was downright ridiculous how instantaneous the effect was, and what followed would soon have you internally begging to be smite by God himself.

“It took you three tries to swallow me down without gagging.” Though you couldn’t see him, there was, no doubt, a smile on his face, listening to his delivery alone. All sharp and condescending that you couldn’t help but wince at the immediate reboot of your brain where you could vividly imagine the scrape of his teeth along your throat—specifically the places bruised with the indents; marks of his canines being the most prominent.

At least you got to confirm just who the ‘wild animal’ was behind the damage to your neck, yet you still couldn’t map the exact thought process justifying Jaemin’s carelessness.

“You’re that eager to please, aren’t you?”

Jaemin sounded like he was demanding an immediate answer, but there was just one problem.

He wasn’t going to get anything from you. How can he when his cock restricted you from talking? The most he was going to get was a series of garbled noises, just like the wet squelches from fucking into your mouth.

“Of course you are. I can see why Jeno kept you around for as long as he could.” Jaemin chuckled, moving his hand from where it previously rested on top of your head to cup your jaw. “Feeling full, huh?” and you could hear how smug he was, laughing quietly when all you could do was whine when his fingers tightened their grip on your bulging cheeks, no doubt wanting the wet heat of your mouth to squeeze around his dick tighter, or feel how imposing his size was for the sake of his ego.

“I could barely fit in your mouth a moment ago,” the groan he let out was deep from within his chest, guttural as if he was fighting to keep himself controlled while bullying himself deeper into your willing (?) throat until you gagged around his girth, shaky hands scrambling to find purchase on his thighs as if to keep yourself grounded. “Now here you are, taking it like it’s nothing. Like you were made for this. All you needed was a little push, didn’t you, baby?”

It took real talent to come off as an asshole through voice alone, and Jaemin was nothing short of talented. He really did fit the narrative. It’s always the ones with the (admittedly) pretty faces that have something to hide under the false pretense of pleasantry, and it just so happened that the ‘thing’ Jaemin wanted to keep under wraps was how much of a scheming freak he actually was.

Back then, you were just part of the majority who was ignorant to what lies underneath. Now here you are, experiencing Jaemin’s depraved fantasies first hand.

You should have known. The signs were quite literally there with the way he looked at you all night before you were consumed by the effects of alcohol. Even in the sea of people crowding the club, you‘ve managed to catch the intensity swirling in the darkness of his eyes stuck on you no matter where you ended up.

Jaemin was there. In the corners. In the shadows. Jaemin was everywhere. Watching and waiting to strike.

That thought alone should have been enough to unsettle you right to your very core, yet all it did was raise questions. Tons of them, considering this had been going on before you even got together with your then boyfriend, Jeno. You had thought that perhaps Jaemin had harbored some type of protectiveness over you seeing you got to know him first, but your prior naivety didn’t let you think much on it further. Not when you were swept up by the sweeter than sweet smiles and soon entranced by a pair of eyes that put the winking moon to shame.

Nevertheless Jaemin still kept a watchful eye, bid his time carefully and now that his best friend was out of the picture, perhaps it was the perfect time to strike.

And that he did, leaving the photos and videos behind in his wake.

“Jaemin?” Donghyuck hissed, completely ignoring the obscene noises blasting from your phone on full volume because apparently he wasn’t immersed enough with it half-way up. Where your apartment provided decent acoustics to amplify the sound. “Jaemin Na? Your ex's best friend? That Jaemin?”

You held your face in shame and groaned, trying to make it seem like you weren’t the least bit affected by Jaemin’s own mix of pleasured sounds going hand-in-hand with your muffled desperation. “Say ‘Jaemin’ one more time and I’ll punch you in the throat.” Your face was hot to the touch and you didn’t want to know just what you looked like to Donghyuck.

The memory of last night was faint, yes, but it did overwhelm you all the same to the point where you were starting to tear up from sheer embarrassment.

Donghyuck, ever so keen, caught the sign of distress and composed himself. “You were with Jaemin last night?” He asked, whispering.

“Oh, I don’t know,” you answered, sarcasm weighing heavily on each syllable as you aimed your grimace towards the video still playing (seriously, how long was it?). “Is that just my face deep-faked onto some poor random girl? You tell me.”

His pleased expression twisted at the snark, lips parting to refute you with the same vitriol until a rather loud, impossibly hard to ignore moan tore through the impending tension.

Both of you looked down just in time for Jaemin to pull out of your abused mouth with a wet, disgusting sound and lord, not only did he have an impressive size, his dick was pretty too. Pretty in a way it shouldn’t be, but it’s like Jaemin was solely born to go against what one should expect in men and their anatomy, which wasn’t much to begin with, let’s be real. Guess the universe did have its favorites and what misfortune it was that it had to be you stuck with one of them. Literally.

It was like a sick punishment pushed onto you, being faced with the harsh truth of Jaemin having his reasons backed up and giving him free reign to act and talk like he was the shit. His hands were just as big as everything about him from his stature to his personality. Made it seem like his cock was nothing to gawk at until you—you in the video—shuffled closer, having it stand ramrod straight right in front of your face.

As if the Jaemin in the video heard you, he laughed as he brought the camera closer to his cock and your face in tandem. You could tell he was getting close, the labored breaths and jostling of the footage were obvious signs amidst the borderline frantic strokes.

“Open up, sweetheart,” he grunted, tapping your puffy lips with his cockhead. “and stick your tongue out for me, will you—yeah. That’s good. Perfect. You’re perfect—fuck!” 

Thick ropes of pearly white painted your face as Jaemin let out a loud, drawn-out moan, forcing more out with rough strokes and most of it shooting into your awaiting mouth. You kept your eyes open for the entirety of it in spite of the obscene amount of cum dripping from your cheeks, nose and even an eyebrow. In fact, there was so much of it that even Donghyuck voiced his own astonishment right when you swallowed, only to pry your lips open once more and leave Jaemin to milk himself until the very last drop, not letting any of it go to waste.

It seemed you did good with the forethought, Jaemin making his appreciation known with a soft coo as if he wasn’t spouting filth while you were literally gagging for it.

God, you looked absolutely destroyed.

And eerily enough, sex-tape!Jaemin finished off the thought with a breathy, “you’ve never looked better.”

Inky tear-tracks of your mascara marred what was once the smoothed canvas of your face. You took much care in making sure your makeup was almost flawless and it was a shame that Jaemin thought the complete opposite and decided that smearing your lipstick along your mouth with a gross mix of your spit, tears and his cum was much more entertaining—as if this was all just a sick game to him; a game of how long would it take to strip you off of your dignity by making a mess out of you. Twice.

“Fuck. You look…” Jaemin trailed off as he held you by the jaw, damp skin easily caving underneath his fingertips to keep you in place and took his time to admire his masterpiece. It was deceptively tender, the way he went about tilting your head from side-to-side that just as you thought this was where the humiliation ended, realizing the extent of what you had done last night, the debauched version of you decided to speak.

“How—how do I look?” You slurred. Round, glazed up eyes peering up in earnest and that was all it took for Jaemin to let your phone tumble from his grasp in favor of hauling you up. The footage was all sorts of skewed, but by some odd law of physics involved, it made sure to show how Jaemin went in for a kiss that was all sorts of messy and heated, not minding the fact that he could taste himself with every push of your tongue against his.

He pulled back just for a moment, letting out a breathy chuckle and the last thing you heard before the video saw its end was a hoarse, “beautiful. Gorgeous. Unreal. Mine,” before it stopped and jumped back to show its thumbnail.

You let the both of you marinate in the silence that followed afterwards, with you gathering your wits as your worst half gently placed your phone down onto the coffee table.

“Oh my god.” you settled on saying, completely mortified.

“Oh my god.” Donghyuck repeated, sounding all too gleeful.

It almost looked like Donghyuck was impressed with what happened in the past five minutes when you slowly turned to face each other. “Wow,” he drawled, immediately raising your hackles at the god-awful sight of his self-righteous smirk. “and I thought I was the slut between us two.”

“Oh, you still are,” you bit back, not letting him get the upper-hand. “Three people in one night? I’m surprised your dick’s still attached to you.” or that he didn’t contract an STD for that matter, but small miracles could be given to anyone, you supposed. Even to a menace.

“You know what they say, the ‘s’ in slut stands for ‘safe’!”

“Literally no one has said that.”

“I literally just did.”

You dead-panned. “Get out.”

“You’re so boring,” he whined, getting up to head to the kitchen to probably gobble up the grilled sandwich you had made. “Well,” the muffled continuation said just as much. “maybe not since you fucked your ex-boyfriend’s best friend. Who would have thought you’d let Jaemin hit?”

You whirled around to glower at him, half for eating what was yours and half at his disguised jeering. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Y/N, I’m a dude,” he said slowly, like you were stupid. Maybe you were. “We can tell when a guy is interested.”

“You think Jaemin’s into me?”

Donghyuck’s initial reaction was to arch an eyebrow as he paused mid-chew, again, as if he could not believe you were this slow on the up-take. It was starting to piss you off, honestly, that he knew something you didn’t and was just waiting for you to piece everything together.

“You couldn’t tell?” He only gets an unimpressed stare to get on with it which he shrugged at. “Nevermind, you were too busy making googoo eyes at Jeno to pay attention. That worked at least, ‘cause soon enough, you were hanging off of his arm.”

You huffed, conceding with a roll of your eyes. “Fine. You got me there.”

Donghyuck scoffed, “‘course I do. Seriously though, we thought that you’d end up with Jaemin. He’s usually straight-forward with things like this, but since Jeno was there… well, y’know, bro-code or whatever the fuck.” He took a generous bite from the sandwich before placing it back down on the plate and dusting his hands from the crumbs. “Thing is though, he never really stopped looking at you? I’m sure you know how shameless he is with staring.”

Knew? You’ve caught him staring a handful times in the past and his shamelessness knew no bounds either. Not once did Jaemin appear remotely embarrassed meeting your eyes as he would smile each time, hold the eye contact for longer than what you would deem appropriate before moving his eyes elsewhere, and you knew that in no time, his gaze would be burning holes into your back again.

You’ve grown used to it anyway. It was strange, yes, but Jaemin never really did anything beyond what could make you uncomfortable. Even Jeno laughed it off when it was casually brought up during your past conversations, not really bothered by his best friend’s odd quirk.

“I can’t blame him,” you remembered him saying. “You’re really beautiful. I’d probably consider looking at you as one of my favorite past-times.” and safe to say, you did appreciate the comment, and Jeno definitely appreciated the soul-sucking blowjob you gave him if the strings of praises tangled with the ‘I love you’s’ were anything to go by.

None of that was relayed to Donghyuck though. Your knowledge on the matter wasn’t his business, nor did you think it was that of a big deal. So what if your ex-boyfriend’s best friend liked to keep his eyes on you? That didn’t mean anything. Just like what happened last night didn’t mean anything. It didn't have to mean anything.

It was a one-time thing and you were certain that it’ll take the Earth’s revolution around the sun to see him again. Perhaps never, if you played your cards right.

And watching your own sex-tape (accidental, or not) with Donghyuck won’t happen ever again when you made the mistake of trailing your eyes downwards.

You were very far from impressed, scowling at him. “I can see your dick through your pants, Hyuck. You’re gross.”

He at least had the decency to appear sheepish from you pointing out his body’s reaction. “Oh don’t like you weren’t the least bit turned on from that too.”

You flipped him off with both hands, face burning. 

Donghyuck cackled and then waved you over to finish half of the sandwich.

Clearly, there was something in you that refused to see the bigger picture.

You couldn’t help it. You weren’t exactly one to get swept up in the assumptions made by you or the other people in your life that had their rare times of indulging the delusions that came hand-in-hand with them. And that’s all they were. Harmless assumptions and delusions that would be forgotten by the end of the day. Sooner, if you could help it.

So why were you sitting in the middle of your bed, obsessively scrolling through the videos taken from last night?

Perhaps you could blame it all on the insatiable curiosity that never really left even as Donghyuck said his farewell an hour or so ago.

Jaemin’s motive for filming last night’s drunken rendezvous was still—is still—no doubt, a mystery. Starting from why did he use your phone? It would have made much more sense if he used his. There was the possibility that it might have been his phone and had the forethought of airdropping everything to you for reasons unknown, but with a quick check of the details, nope. It was yours. Jaemin’s phone model was the newest one on the market, while yours was at least two years due for an upgrade, pretty much debunking your theory.

Which landed you in this position, looking through your camera roll for any hints that could shed light on his possible motives. Anyone who would find themselves in this dilemma had every reason to be angry. It was normal to feel outraged going through what you did last night and you could only pray to whatever higher being was up there that no one else knew what went on and if Jaemin had his own duplicates.

But—well. Anger was far from what fueled all this. Confusion more like and it only grew when you skimmed through the videos until one caught your eye.

This time, it was you holding the phone, your grasp being significantly shakier, but Jaemin didn’t mind. Not when he was rather preoccupied with his head stuck in between your quivering thighs, eating you out to his heart’s content. No, really. It was like he made it his life’s mission to give you the best head of your life with the way you were letting out a cacophony of pleasured sounds to which Jaemin looked particularly proud off, evident with the way he was leering at you through the screen.

Jaemin had always come off as intimidating with his looks alone; a soft but angular face with strong eyebrows framing the dark pits of his eyes and a smile full of perfect white teeth so wicked it could even put the devil to shame if he tried harder. It was common to be put-off by his intensity at first. He had always sought out to give off a strong impression, but it wouldn’t be long before he opened up, gracing everyone with the sweet side of him.

And sweet he was, with the way he was looking at you with the mess of saliva and your wetness coating his lips and chin. Even the tip of nose was dripping of it, yet you thought he was absolutely breathtaking that the dazzling smile did nothing but make him so much more.

They say that eyes are the window to the soul. That you can guess what was going through someone’s head if you dare peer into them longer. It was purely for the sake of uncovering answers on your part, but you weren’t sure if that was what you were searching for anymore.

He was doing unspeakable things to you, yes. That much was apparent with his mindless slurping and the pleased moans reverberating when you so much as tugged at his hair, or squeezed his head with your thighs. It’s like he was getting off from you getting off and it was all sorts of filthy when a dollop of his spit caught onto your clit just for the sake of it.

But his eyes were telling the complete opposite of his ministrations. Dark as they were, they held something soft in them. Gentle. Tender—dare you say it, enamored. Completely taken by how you were blatantly using him, rutting against that sinful tongue while simultaneously fucking yourself onto his thick fingers as he did the absolute most to match the desperate pace you were setting to chase your release.

The soft spoken praises fell so easily from his mouth. Slickened lips covering your inner thighs with kisses and gentle, teasing nips as he spoke sweet-nothings that were no less still filthy, yet his eyes still remained the same. Darkened even more with his blown out pupils, but the softness remained swimming in those endless pits of coffee brown sweeter than its bitter aftertaste; warm when Jaemin graced you with a lipped smile.

Even as Jaemin had you face down and ass up, the warm glow in his gaze stayed. Hips slammed into you with reckless abandon that with each push, you hiked higher and higher up his sheets that you had to hold onto his headboard to keep yourself in place. You assumed the phone was placed somewhere on his end table for the clear view, or else you wouldn’t be able to see the warmth light up his face too.

It’s truly a wonder how you were able to witness how easy his emotions took over his features. More so when he took it upon himself to manhandle you on your back, then did you see how easily Jaemin shed that hardass exterior of his.

That didn’t mean he had let up though, oh no. He was still rough with his treatment as you watched his hand come down onto your thigh with a loud smack before pushing at the back of your knees and until your thighs were pressed against your chest to fuck you deeper, harder, now that he raised one leg to get more leverage.

Jaemin graced you with a cruel smirk when you cried out from a pointed jerk of his hips. “Imagine how fucking pissed I was when Jeno snatched you up before I did.” That was news to you and it was more shocking that the man admitted it himself just as you were about to piece things together. “I saw you first. I befriended you first—fuck, I thought I made it obvious that I wanted you.” You could only let out a helpless mewl when he slowed down to scowl at you. “We’re friends, right?”

When you didn’t answer right away, a hand wrapped tightly around your throat. “Answer me, sweetheart. While I’m still nice enough to give you what you want.”

“Yes,” you sobbed, holding onto his wrist and you were exactly sure if drunk you wanted to keep it there or not. “We’re friends.”

Jaemin smiled something mean, “then how come I was the last to know that you chose Jeno over me?”

“I didn’t know—“

“You didn’t know? I’ve—” he cuts himself off with an incredulous laugh. “Right, how silly of me. You were too busy giving Jeno your attention.” Jaemin leaned in closer. “Maybe I should send this to him,” he mused, gesturing towards the phone with his head. “How’s that sound?” And humiliate yourself even further? You would rather die a painless death.

“No! Please no!” You could see yourself struggle, yet Jaemin with his sheer size and strength had no problem in keeping you pinned down.

“Why not? It’s not like you’re together or anything. Will it be that humiliating for you? There’s no reason to be, not when you're this gorgeous. Nothing wrong with being a slut either.”

“I’m—I’m not.”

“Oh yes you are, baby. You let me fuck you, didn’t you? Your ex’s best friend? Showing him all this could make him realize why he wasn’t able to keep you. Jeno didn’t know what you wanted. He didn’t know what you needed either. Me? I could give you both and more.” He sounded so sure about it. Looked sure about it too as he picked up the pace and settled on a brutal rhythm, punching more moans out of you. “All you have to do is just ask for it.”

“You’re fuh—fu—cking crazy,” was all you could say. It seemed you were starting to get light headed with how Jaemin still had a tight grip around your neck. Like a necklace choker that won't ever come off.

“I know I am, sweetheart, but don’t worry. I wasn't being serious. I’d kill anyone who sees you like this,” It was a threat and a promise all molded into one and hearing that strangely made your heart skip a beat. His face was drawn into something serious and darkened when he said, “Jeno included. He had his chance and he fucked all that to hell, but me? I’m not making the same mistake.”

The footage kept on rolling after Jaemin spilled into the condom, just a few seconds after you knocked out-cold from what seemed to be the most intense orgasm you’ve ever had—not that you could remember—in your life. Kept on rolling as he kissed your forehead before getting up to cleanup in the en suite. And rolled, and rolled, and rolled.

You were fully convinced that your one-night stand completely forgot the existence of your phone recording the post-sex ritual happening right before your eyes. It was kind of funny though, like watching a risqué vlog illustrating the proper etiquette when it came to aftercare.

Jaemin did just that, with the same balmy look in his eyes and the inherent tenderness in his actions as he took care of you even in your slumbering state.

He could have done better with dressing you up though, but you could understand that the exhaustion probably crept up at him when he didn’t even question the sweatpants he swiped up from the laundry hamper. Still, he tucked you in and gently kissed your cheek before shuffling over and picking up your phone, only to switch to the front camera, smile and blow a kiss.

With a huff, you fell back onto your bed, ruminating what Jaemin left behind and burning in shame and something else that you wouldn’t want to acknowledge.

It was some sort of confession, wasn’t it? Unconventional definitely, but the idea was there, glaring at you in minute-long clips and you couldn’t really think of your next move. Jaemin was still an enigma for sure and calling him didn’t sound like a good idea. At least at the moment it didn’t. You really had no clue if you should simply wait for him to reach out himself, but that's besides the point.

What you did know was that some part of you thought it was a shame that last night’s memory was still quite the blur. You couldn’t recall how Jaemin made you feel with his touch and you weren’t sure if gratitude should be even considered for him leaving you of last night’s evidence.

This was all too much. Jaemin was too much and you couldn’t think much now when you have plans coming up soon.

And if you came on your fingers twice from simply looking at the unmistaken adoration lifting Jaemin’s face as he had his way with you, then that was between you and God alone.

“Couldn’t we do this some other time?”

Donghyuck clicked his tongue as he pulled out a chair for you. “You know how Giselle is and to be fair, she’s been begging for us to meet up. She mentioned she’s bringing someone with her too.”

“That’s fine.” Probably one of your acquaintances. “But she couldn’t choose another day where I don’t feel and look like shit?”

“Relax. No one in here knows that you’ve been fucked six ways ‘til Sunday last night.”

He said it like he was talking about the weather, all the while scanning the menu nonchalantly as you prayed that no one else heard him. Donghyuck was right though. You did make sure to hide all evidence (mainly the marks on your neck), and the slight limp in your steps and it was such a relief on your part that you haven’t received any odd looks as of yet. If you were to get some concerning looks, it would be because of how fidgety you were. As if you were just waiting for Jaemin to come out and strike. Ugh, perhaps your body did remember some of last night.

“You’re fine, Y/N,” Donghyuck reassured, patting your thigh gently. “What are you gonna get? I’m thinking of steak. We could share each other’s food or something too.”

“Yeah, sounds nice—“

“Y/N! Girl, it’s been so long!”

Both you and Donghyuck looked up just in time to see Giselle quickly making her way over to where you both sat with a dazzling smile.

“Gigi, hi!”

The man beside you rolled his eyes as you rose up and kissed Giselle on the cheek, “I’m here too, y’know.”

She laughed and sat on the seat right across from him. “Yes, yes, hello to you too, Hyuck.” Giselle looked as if she came alone, noticing that no one was trailing behind her.

“I thought you were with someone?” you asked, handing over the menu to her.

She thanked you with a quick smile and got to scanning it. “He’s still parking his car. He insisted I go in first.”

He?

“He?” trust your best friend to voice out exactly what you were thinking. “Who’s he?” You couldn’t remember the last time she brought someone for you to meet. Usually, this was her way of checking whether the person would be worth her time. As all close friends would do. You did the same with Jeno and what a shame you guys didn’t even last that long.

“Some guy I met recently,” Giselle hummed. “He’s nice, I promise.”

The conversation flowed smoothly after that and you decided to order for everybody after Giselle mentioned that her ‘friend’ would most likely get the same thing as Donghyuck. You really couldn’t follow along much—still reeling from everything, really—but it seemed to be a heated discussion from how worked up Donghyuck was slowly becoming at each of Giselle’s rebuttals.

Your attention moved to your phone at that point, looking through your socials while simultaneously reading through the work emails you might have missed.

“Took you long enough, Jaemin.”

You froze.

Jaemin?

From that second, you concluded that you were just hearing things. Maybe you misheard Giselle and that it was some guy that had a similar sounding name to him. He wasn’t the only guy with a given name starting with ‘Jae’, right? Jaemin wasn’t the only Jaemin in the world either.

However, the universe might as well bring your nightmares to life because looking up from your phone, the same Jaemin Na was there. Sitting across from you a polite tilt of his lips.

Though as he looked down, taking a gander at your phone with shining eyes before meeting your gaze head on, the smile grew sharper, sinister and you dread whatever was coming next.

“Guys, this is Jaemin. Jaemin, Donghyuck and Y/N.”

“Oh, we’ve met.” Jaemin leaned forward, resting his cheek on his palm while you swallowed thickly. “It’s nice to see you again, sweetheart.”

“Well,” Donghyuck started, breaking the silence. “It could have gone worse.”

“What’s worse than meeting your one-night stand the very next day?”

“Jaemin telling everyone that he slept with you?”

“You’re useless, actually,” you dead-panned, plopping heavily onto your couch. “Seriously, that was probably the most embarrassing dinner ever. Poor Giselle probably thought that I didn’t want to see her.” Your hands flew to your face to hide, moaning in despair.

To be fair, it wasn’t entirely the worst situation you’ve been in. At least Jaemin was cordial enough to act normal aside from the fact that he still tried to burn holes into your profile when you focused on either Donghyuck or Giselle as you talked over the food. Jaemin didn’t say much either, and spoke when spoken to, yet his presence was so domineering that even pretending that he didn't exist was rather difficult that you just settled on acknowledging him out of politeness.

Never mind the fact that he looked like he wanted to eat you up and swallow you whole right then and there. Then again, that’s how he looked most of the time so it brought comfort that there was a fifty-fifty chance that you were wrong.

Donghyuck gave you a sympathetic pat on the head, “don’t worry about it. You can say sorry to her and she’ll be fine, and it’s not like you’ll be seeing Jaemin any time soon.”

At that moment, your phone chimed and with the whole dinner fiasco, you immediately assumed it was probably Giselle checking up on you. You did act a little weird for everyone’s tastes and you were kind of waiting for her to bring it up so you could explain yourself and express your deepest apologies for acting out-of-character.

See, it wasn't Giselle and you cursed Donghyuck in your head for jinxing it.

Donghyuck took one good look at your face, the corner of his lips tilting downwards in concern. “What'd Giselle say?” 

You shook your head and handed it over to him.

“Oh my god.”

Jaemin Na

hey

can i come over?

:)

Shit.

note: this is dedicated to Aria for being just as insane as me when it comes to Jaemin 🫡

TAGLIST: @jaylaxies @celeste-hoon @en-myworld

[isadollie]

hi hi!! i saw your request for some drabbles!! so when you have the time i would like to request something sweet with gojo(or toji) and possibly what you think his love language would be and how he expresses it!

happy writing and have a good day/night! <3

love language w/ gojo & toji

a/n: hi hi hi!! tysm for this request, i know it's late lol, but i didnt really have a chance to get to it before! anyway, i hope you like it:)

gojo satoru — words of affirmation & gift giving.

★ my first thought was: this man is all of the love languages combined

★ but it's probably just bc i'm a gojo girl at heart 😔 anyway

★ as his top2 love languages i chose words of affirmation and gift giving

★ the gift giving part is a bit obvious i think

★ that man has money, a lot of money

★ and he would love to use it to spoil you for sure

★ all it takes is for you to look at something in the store, an hour later you already have it

★ he says it's nothing, he would buy you anything you'd ask

★ and he doesn't expect anything in return, he just likes to see you happy

★ as of words of affirmation, i think he's both about giving it and receiving it

★ he's the strongest, people love him, bla bla bla. but all he needs is for you to hold him and tell him he's doing his best and that you appreciate him for it

★ especially if he's had a rough day, just you saying that you want to help him, and that you're there for him, it already makes him feel better

"i got you something" was the first thing satoru said when he got back home. he smiled when he found you sitting on the couch. he grinned and walked closer to you.

you raised an eyebrow curiously when he gave you an envelope. "open it. but wait, hold me when you do" he chuckled as he said that, immediately making himself comfortable in your arms, as usual.

you carefully opened his gift, your eyes going wide. "no way..."

satoru giggled. "you wanted to go to that concert, no? so there you have it"

"front row too? 'toru, you're crazy-"

"nah ah." he pressed his face in the crook of your neck. "tell me again that i'm great, amazing, and how much you love me. c'mon, don't make me wait."

toji fushiguro - acts of service & physical touch

★ okay, hear me out

★ i think he's big on physical touch in general, both receiving and giving

★ when in public, he's not afraid to show affection at all

★ his arm is always around your shoulders or waist

★ he'd kiss you a lot too

★ and if anyone gets annoyed by seeing it? he'll only do it more often

★ he also likes when you hug him, stroke his hair, or especially when your hand touches his biceps

★ but about the acts of service

★ i think he's more about giving it

★ mostly because he's not good with his words

★ so instead, he just shows you with his actions that he cares (or that he's sorry after a fight)

you had to stay late at work that day, which, let's be honest, is never a pleasant thing. you texted toji beforehand, letting him know you'll get home later that night. you also made sure to text him all about how annoyed you are, and how your boss is stupid.

then, when you finally got home, your mood wasn't any better. the traffic was terrible, even though it was practically night by now. you opened the door to your shared house, and suddenly your annoyance left.

toji stood by the door and greeted you with a hug. he took your jacket and shoes off. the dinner was ready; your favourite dish was already on the table. the whole house was clean, your comfiest pajamas warm and ready for you to change in. toji even placed on the table everything needed for you to wash your makeup off and do your usual skincare routine. soft music played in the background, and your favourite movie on tv was waiting to be watched.

even though you were grateful for what he did, toji just shrugged it off, saying it's nothing.

[ladyliftzz]

PT 2 CAUGHT AT SE PĦÓRǍ STORYTIME

Key: @rawrkitties @moonyevenings ima js call them kitty and lunar for privacy

context if u didnt see pt 1: this was a while back for a haul i haven’t posted cuz i’m lazy but i went lifting with my friends, beeped in <3urlïngt0n and we left that whole area and went to a far away se4a instead. At this huge se pħôrä we just kept grabbing stuff 😭

before coming in I was like i think i should honestly just wait outside cuz im carrying huge bags of items we took.. like really heavy huge stuff from other stores and i look sus 😥 but kitty was like no girl ur fine 💁‍♀️

Lunar is obsessed with her s0l de j4n3iro 59 so she wanted that and I think kitty wanted the orange one

when we got to the s0l de j4n3ir0 section, kitty put a perfume or something in her bag not discreetly at all, and i was like uh oh was that obvious😟 and she was like yea but idrc 😛cuz we were already on a lifting spree so we were busy giggling and not caring.

An SA came asking me for help and i for some reason said yea id like to see colognes, and i grabbed a fragrance and walked back to where my friends were and shoved it in my pocket being very obvious 😀

I didnt even notice it but once we got around the gucci section, this LP walks from out of nowhere and says he needs that s0l in a basket or he’s going to call the cops 🧌.. He also wanted the fragrance I took and he said “the brown thing” so im assuming he caught me on camera.

I was like sir what brown thing 😗 and he was like you know what i mean 😡 so i was just like yea ok 😔 and put it in the basket

Kitty followed suit and put a whole ass s0l gift box in the basket and the man looked a little shocked and he was like i meant the other s0l de j4n3iro item (a spray i think)🤨 so she put that one in too

we were gonna browse the gucci makeup but the man looked at us like are you deadass so we just left the store 🤒

we met up with lunar later and she was more scared than me and kitty were 😭like we didnt care

Im grateful he didnt ask to see what else we had because trust we took a lot.. but yea i need tips for future reference

[system-architect]

ok here's my collected JW thoughts in general. obviously this is spoilers

OK.................................... so i think anet is Back. its not quite "we are SO back" levels but it COULD be "we are SO back" levels depending on what they do in the next installment

they did good, though, and i think the most obvious jump in quality is actually in the maps themselves. they feel so much better than soto maps just to run around in and explore. theres a LOT more detail and they actually feel pretty intriguing and immersive with a lot of fun easter eggs and surprises!

the story didnt always hit for me but it was still overall Better than soto. the first instance alone grabbed me more than all of soto had tbh. the bears don't personally interest me but the mursaat do, and we're getting somewhere with all the bloodstone and titan stuff

i DO enjoy the angle of the commander starting to go kind of lie-lie man acting in personal interests. isgarren is a bitch but we can also be rude to waiting sorrow for no reason oops sorry nice again haha oh man how'd this bear teleport here that's craaazy.. there were points at which i actively lost track of who we had lied to about what and when, and while the confusion grated me a bit it was also funny in a way? like yeah if i was the commander i'd lose track of this shit too right

the commander doesn't have much of a personality technically, beyond "person who does good(TM) things", and what we make of our canon commander's personality is mostly just our own notions and conceptions and interpretations being placed on them, BUT that said it felt like the story did take the commander in some interesting directions for me.

i felt like i got the sense that the commander really is sort of a "free agent" now, which is fun. when you've already killed all the dragons and your life's purpose is TECHNICALLLLYYY over but you're still around and you're still many things to many people, what do you do with your life? this, apparently.

i like us being kind of a mirror of isgarren in the sense that the comm is an ultra powerful guy, with a lot of worldly+scholarly experience at this point, who a lot of other very powerful figures respect and Need, but that not everyone necessarily Likes. yeah this is our free-range deployable killing machine politician who's kind of strange interpersonally.

my favorite instance in the whole story was the one with the bloodstone ghosts btw. i thought they did a really good job imbuing each with a fair amount of personality and showcasing a wide array of perspectives on what happened in gavril-- a thing which i was prepared to not be particularly interested in tbh, and yet...

ALSO, the voice actor for the gavril citizen ghost was SUPER good! i'm pretty sure they were a new VA but i'd really love to hear more voicework from them. in general i felt a lot of the VA work in this xpac banged-- it feels like they got a decent amount of new/fresh talent?? it's been nice, i hadn't realized how stale the world was starting to feel only hearing the same 3-5 voices constantly (no shade towards the longer-standing VAs who DO do a good job, i just wished for more variety)

REALLY liking the amount of unique voice lines and racial dialogue also

features wise its also been pretty good! i like the repeat renown heart thing plus the return of the hearts. as a revenant with a condi set i cant say ive got any issues with the spears LOL. and warclaw is super fun once you get the hang of it-- i like that it has a learning curve and some nuance like most older mounts do, as opposed to skyscale's fairly 'flat' mobility. have NOT really tried out decorating my homestead yet and ive heard mixed opinions on it, so we'll see how i feel there!

[mako-neexu]

smth smth rambles that are entirely my opinion and i could be wrong (so dont attack me) you know this chapter made guda, fuijmaru ritsuka with already Many Issues worse is because of "mash" or rather kyrie's death but ultimately comes back to mash...that dantes did for them.

we even see a while back how guda was already shaken by not knowing whether mash is safe during lb6 after that fog like their priority is mash. mash.

they were already frantic as soon as they remembered mash almost questioning everyone about her whereabouts and immediately got reckless just trying to reach her at norwich. and when only when they were together did the "narrator" emphasize on the sheer relief guda felt like-- wow the obvious signs in OC chapter 2 makes you realize furthermore that guda's sanity hangs on a thin thread named 'mash' asdfgh

yes guda loves mash!! yes they care about her!!! but look and read at how guda tells absolutely nothing to mash- and that applied the same to kyrie!

(more below)

kyrie wanted to know and ask her senpai about the situation like we see her really wanting it but ultimately backtracking in the end because she trusts guda and she's even supportive. and guda was grateful/relieved that she stays innocent about the weird things going on in their tokyo.

they do compromise at one point that if kyrie really demands on explanations, guda would tell her but...

guda doesnt tell her anything, (kyrie believes in her senpai so even when faced with death, kyrie didnt break under pressure) keeps her in the dark so no one comes after her. for her to be ultimately safe. so she remains...innocent, normal who stands alongside "mama" and "little sister" as they arent involved in the first place about whats been happening. and guda wants to keep it that way for their family. not a real family, but a family nonetheless that cared about guda. an epitome of normal- which mash kyrielight has attained.

and now you see guda, who, upon waking up asks mash kyrielight if she was okay. if she was alright. guda doesnt stop their questions until mash answered. and so mash answered.

"I'm okay, Senpai. My vital signs are normal... so I'm completely okay."

all the while guda had just dismissed being in pain literally one minute ago and just hugged her tight. they "save mash the trouble" to tell her about the pains they went through in the singularity so as not to burden mash. so they stuff their pain inside the corner of their heart again, completely satisfied with mash's safety and disregarding their own health. (you also see in section 23 that theyre cherishing the normal and small moments with mash.)

mash is normal. mash looks pure to guda, her heart filled with "color" in comparison to guda whose heart has become "transparent". an inverse character development which will ultimately destroy them both.

for mash, who sees her Senpai as strong and unwavering, the image of kindness and strength when they held her hand during part 1 crushed by a coffin which she continues to believe them to be that way until now.

for guda, who sees mash as someone who's become normal. one last remnant that reminds them of a past life lost, mash with that purity and normalcy becoming an ideal to protect (as if she was glass) because they no longer have their own. (and mash is also literally the only one left close to guda, who remembers all the events of part 1. which... adds more to how losing mash would break guda even further.)

(also we see guda say 'tadaima' coming home to an empty house, the loss of kyrie and their family still in mind, and a little later, the Avenger mindset comes back and settles in as they're plagued by bloodlust. then when guda comes back to mash, their home, mash is their home. do you realize that? do you realize what im saying? mash says: "welcome home, senpai." and that was enough for guda. that eased everything in guda's tumultuous heart.)

i remembered guda avoiding on telling "mom" that they and kyrie were near the "gas leak site" / britoalter's battleground so like.....of course their lying to medical staff about getting back to the battlefield would carry over here.

deliberately making sure the "normal" components of their fake high school life remain untainted is what we see guda do. they shouldered everything, terrifying as it is, just to protect them but ended up inevitably losing them in the process.

there's also that contrast in seeing a dead body between kyrie and guda. kyrie still stood strong against dantes and remained rational and calm while telling "ojisama" that this wasnt good for guda. meanwhile guda, while still able to think about calling the ambulance after seeing the da vincis absolutely lost their mind when it came to kyrie which their mind thought of mash- and i think guda thought of both as 'one' person so they went absolutely insane right then and there

during the conversation with amatsuka, thats the part where guda became finally stable. because its implied guda's mental state really broke at kyrie's death which their mind automatically thought it to be "=mash is dead". but ukelele-senpai saved the day by reminding guda where they are, if mash and kyrie were the same person, and helping guda calm down and think of seeing that blue sky with mash during the part 1 epilogue.

and augh guda you shit!!! you need therapy!! dont put mash in a pedestal!! dont treat her as if she's fragile!! dont treat her like porcelain meant to be protected while you take on everything for the sake of keeping mash safe because she is the only remnant of your past left, because she is the only "normal" person you have left!!! guda you need to understand that if ever mash gets hurt someday or dies and its out of your control, you need to understand that it wont be your fault!! you need to understand that because someday you will part ways with her as well and you need to be able to be ready to lose again. if you lose mash once and for all, what will you do!?!?!? this is not healthy guda!! gudaaa you hear me!!?? gudaaaaaaa

[whoatherebigguy]

[UNDER CONSTRUCTION AT THE MOMENT!]

Askbox is open! I'll try my best to do requests but i can't promise anything. Feel free to ask about any of my goofy universes!! Give me at least 3 days for requests please!! And be as specific as u can in terms of characters and vibes! <heads up: i probably wont answer asks that don't directly relate to giant monsters, or if I i can't understand what they are about>

about me/this blog: this blog is Godzilla and Gamera centric and I'll mainly be posting art for my mini continuities, most of which i dont take very seriously. I’ve got 3 main continuities, one is a goofy combined universe that takes place after defeating the Big Bad, its mostly silliness and drama at the monster brunch club. The second is a Gamera Universe I’m chipping away at, it spun off of the 1st one but developed its own self contained story arc. I’ve named it Cyclogenesis and I think it’s my favourite to work on. The third and final continuity you'll see me posting about is a comic based on Gamera Vs. Zigra called Rapid Ascent . If all goes well, it should be released later this year!

Primary Tags:

[whoa!kaiju] - main tag for art featuring my own designs

[G: Rapid Ascent] - everything relating to my fan comic based on Gamera vs. Zigra

[G:cyclogenesis] - for my Gamera continuity that uses my own designs

[whoa!kaiju attacks] - fanart of other people's kaiju designs

[whoa!awe] - for shitposting about the giant monsters living like washed up 30 somethings. aka: 'adventures with emoguirus'

[heads up: i sometimes use my own silly tags for my versions of characters i draw a lot, just so i dont end up spamming their main tag lol]

-> Since a few people have asked: I do not have a Twitter or Instagram, but you can find me on Bluesky!

Other Tags, More About and a BYF Below:

Other Tags:

[whoa!askbox] - responses to asks, usually with drawings

[words of whoa] - random text posts, no art

[list of chr specific tags here]

about me [giant monster related]: The first godzilla movies i saw were millennium and my designs/art's general vibe reflects that i think[?]. I used to rent all the films i could find at blockbuster video[RIP]. I got back into big monsters after seeing KotM and i think the monsterverse is p cool, if not a little grating. I like the showa and millennium eras the best, but the poster art for the entire heisei era is fire. My fav Godzilla monsters are Megalon[shocking, i know], Gigan, Rodan, and Kiryu, but Mothra is always appreciated. <3 Final Wars is good in a bad way. Minilla exists but i dont hate them and its weird how much hate he gets.

I have a faint memory of seeing the heisei gamera films as a kid, but it didnt click at the time. now, however, i am a very big turtle enjoyer. Fav Gamera guys are: Zigra, Gamera, Gyaos and Viras. long live that dumbass tuna can and his stupid skittles bowl ship., im actually obsessed with him. please watch the Gamera movies, im so alone here

about me [personal?]: im an adult and im mostly gay [if that wasn't obvious]. It’s no longer hypothetical because I charmed someone using my cringe-fail swag. i dont have a strong preference for any pronouns, but he/him is my default. im not american, but im pretty close so that doesn't really matter. uhhhh. i also really like space and sailboats.

byf basics: i dont plan on posting anything nsfw, but do use swears frequently and will probably make gay jokes. idk if thats a thing ppl avoid or not but eh. there is a zero tolerance for intolerance policy on this blog. everybody deserves food and shelter. colonialism in all its forms was and is horrific. also, we love and respect trans ppl here, transfem's selfies aren't "mature content". if any of the above statements offends you, go outside and reflect on ur life a bit.

godzilla as a franchise started as a partially metaphor for nuclear war and mass destruction + i think we should all be of the opinion that bombing people is bad.

some important links you should click before u scroll:

PCRF

ANERA

UNRWA

[pinkmoondoll9shihtzu]

Ok i just remembered this freaky story out of nowhere. My mind totally blocked this out for so long im not sure why it just came up. basically this is the first time i ever saw true magic at work , magic of the darker variety..

basically one time in 2016 i was dating this girl who worked at the same place as me. Our boss was SOOOO cruel to me, she was mean to everyone but it was really obvious she picked on me specifically, and it only amplified as time went on. i really felt she hated me and put up with so much torment. it made my gf so mad, but there wasnt rly anythign we could do because we liked out jobs other than that one thing & we didnt want to quit

So one day she approached me all excited, she was like, "OMG *bosses name* left her hairbrush in the bathroom and i stole a bunch of her hair so i can put a binding spell on her , then she'll stop bullying you :D"

i was genuinely freaked out, i was like Um, idt you should do that, it rubbed me the wrong way. But she was a headstrong person so nevertheless she texted me later saying she did the spell.

Next day i go into work and i kid you not, i kid you fucking not, my boss was acting like a DIFFERENT FUCKING PERSON. brand fucking new. She literally was sitting there with a coffee waiting for me !! Saying some shit like "i dunno, i'm just feeling really grateful for you today *^_^*" And for the rest of the time i worked there she straight up never bothered me again, she praised everything i did, i became like her number 1 angel star. it was undeniable that something major had changed about her.

idk if it was like, karmic consequences of the spell but my relationship with the girl who casted it went soooo sour really quickly after that. within a few months we were not even on speaking terms anymore and ignored each other at work lol. Still, that was like, a crazy experience of magic that shook me up. it was so surreal, the difference in my bosses behavior was so severe and so IMMEDIATE..

I definitely dont condone that kind of work, even if she meant well and just wanted to help me, messing with people's free will is never it for me :x especially stealing the hair, i think on a subconscious level i could never trust that girl after that. Like that is just straight up conniving. Be careful with your hairbrushes and nail clippings around witchy people you guys X_X

thats my story! ive never known anyone who's been that serious about magic since then so it's the only story i have.

[the-s1lly-corner]

Eyeless Jack with girly Reader who is very cheerful and cute. A reader is somehow childish and playful. 💕

Eyeless Jack x cheerful!girly!childish!reader !

ooooo this ones going to be interesting because of one of the readers descriptors evils laughs ehehehehehe also i lied about writing stuff until i figure out what to draw tonight; my hands feel weird. like you know how when you go a while without writing or drawing and when you start your hands feel funky? theyve been feeling like that for weeks, despite me not taking considerably long breaks between doing... art and writing.. you know? weird stuff idk what the problem is there

i think it really depends on what kind of childish we're talking about... because if we're talking about like, happy and innocent childishness jack is more tolerant, but if you're... like impulsive or all over the place and even emotionally immature then it might be a deal breaker for jack; hes already got enough going on and if he didnt he doesnt mesh well with characters like that you know?

easily irritable, this one

otherwise, i think he would try to love you as best as he can given everything going on with him

not much opinion on your style and clothing choices, its all ultimately your choice

sometimes gives you flowers and makes crowns for you, snowballs into him making you multiple because there isnt much for him to do in the woods asides from making sure his traps are in working order and that no strangers are getting too close to his place

in a way he kind of envies your cheerfulness, maybe its because jack himself is more gloomy and self hating, but sometimes he wishes he would be a hopeful as you... though on his worse days i think sometimes it might make him feel worse than he usually does or again, irritate him if you're high energy as well as cheerful

again, easily irritable

but i dont think he would take it out on you

no, actually i think he would excuse himself to go clear his head instead of snapping at you or pushing you away indefinitely. hes not the best at communicating but hes getting better with you around hyping him up

i think if you were to get your clothes dirty at his place (which is likely because he lives in an old run down cabin in the woods) he tries to clean the stain out of your clothing... has probably a few cleaning supplies or random things known for getting tough stains out (ex. vinegar, white wine, hydrogen peroxide, ect) though a lot of the stuff he has is mostly used for blood stains

for... obvious reasons

though if your clothing gets torn dont expect him to be able to sew it together, he is not a good.... sewing.. person??

if anything YOU probably had to patch up his clothes when you guys first started dating

a sentiment that hes still grateful for because he doesnt exactly have the means to go to the store to get new clothing + be honest, how many grey people with eye sockets that drip tar just. walk into a clothing store

in short ultimately he tries his best and even tries to do things for you but sometimes your energy can leave him overstimulated so sometimes he needs to take a step back to decompress

[rabit333n]

awkward ||

matt sturniolo🫶

CW - none i dont think ??? kissing i guess. its mostly just fluff (i think im using that word right?). it might be corny.

this is my first time publishing any of my writing !!!!! PLEASE be nice to me. :)

summary - matts been your best friend since middle school. when on a drive late one night something accidental turns into the both of you kissing. reader is the pink text, matt is the blue text. :3

based off this song !

you and matt had been best friends for as long as you remembered -- well, as long as things actually started to matter to you. you moved to matts school in the 7th grade, you were thirteen years old at the time.

it was a fresh start, something new, you had gone to the same place your entire life, so to say you were anxious on your first day was an understatement.

in your first period, you got sat next to a quiet boy. at the time, you were grateful he wasnt immature and disrespectful like most of the boys your age you had met.

you tried your hardest to mind your business and focus on the review from what they were taught the previous year, but your nervs and your lack of understanding got in the way.

after about 5 minutes of visible frustration, the boy beside you took notice of your expression and offered to help

-- "hi, i dont mean to bother you, but i noticed you seem a bit confused ? do you mind if i help you?"

your cheeks flush a light pink out of embarassment, not realizing how obvious it was that you had no idea what you were doing.

-- "yeah, actually, if you want to.. they didnt cover this at my old school so i just.."

you shrug awkwardly and lean back a bit as he reassures you and begins explaining.

-- "dont feel bad though, none of this will matter when we get out of school, yaknow?"

his eyes shift from the paper on the table in front of you both onto your eyes

-- "im matt, by the way."

he mentions his name before quickly leaning away from you, he hadnt realized how close he got to you when explaining.

you nod and smile softly, happy to have had a nice interaction with someone -- specifically a boy, not in a romantic way, really just in the sense that its rare to find a boy your age whos atleast a little bit emotionally mature.

-- "im y/n. thanks for the help, by the way, i really needed it. i had no idea what i was doing"

you mutter with a slight nervous giggle. you and matt soon became close friends, talking everyday in and out of class. he introduced you to his triplet brothers, and his friendgroup. while you didnt fit in with his friends as much as you'd like to, you were grateful you had people to talk to. since then, as the dynamic between you both grew, you became inseperable.

☆☆☆☆

its been 7 years since then, and you and matt are the closest youve ever been. matt knows you better than you know yourself. you cant hide from him the way you hide from yourself.

you currently, though, were on a drive with him. your favorite thing to do was to go on long drives and find some random parking lot to sit in with the windows down, listening to music, talking about random shit, learning about the very few things you both dont already know about the other. you sat in the parking lot of a convience store you didnt care to remember the name of, windows all the way down with the wind gently blowing through your hair.

you always got the aux cord when you rode with matt, he knows how important music is to you. even if he doesnt particularly like the music youre playing, he puts up with it because he enjoys seeing you get excited over certain songs.

"Use Once & Destroy" by Hole played softly through the speakers. matt had turned the radio down so it was easier for you both to focus on each other.

you had the visor down while you looked at your makeup in the mirror, wiping away the smudged eyeliner that had condensed beneath your lower lashes throughout the day.

-- "god, i fucking hate when my makeup does this.."

you mumble to yourself once theres a moment of silence between the two of you.

-- "it makes me look disheveled."

you complain quietly as you flip the visor back up, giving up on your goal of getting rid of the black residue underneath your waterline.

-- "i think you look pretty. i dunno, i dont think you look messy.. it makes you look real, it makes you look like you."

matt says sweetly as he studies you fixing your makeup, seemingly mesmerized by your dedication. you smile softly and tuck your hair behind your ears.

-- "thank you, matti."

you say sweetly to him, studying the look on his face. he turns away for a second as you lean over the center console, expecting to give him a peck on the cheek (..which, is something thats been accustomary in your friendship, its supposedly platonic)

until he turns his head back to face you, your lips landing onto his. you pull back quickly, your eyes growing as you cover your mouth.

his reaction similar to yours, his eyes growing before he starts profusely apologizing.

your cheeks heat up as your mind races, sifting through every thought youve had of moments like this before.

you knew you shouldnt think about your best friend in that position, but you couldnt help it. he was obviously very attractive, and you have always had some romantic feelings for him, whether you admitted it to yourself or not.

matt goes quiet, the awkward silence filling the space small space between you. both of your faces flushed red, studying each other subtly.

usually youd both brush off an interaction like this, but it was different this time. something about the situation maybe, or the subconcious emotions that created tension around you both.

-- "can i kiss you?"

he asks softly after a period of uncomfortable silence that slowly shaped itself into comfort, the way it always does with the two of you.

you nod slightly, the question adding to the absurdity of the moment.

as he leans forward, you mirror his motions until he places one hand on your jaw and the other on the back of your neck, gently intertwining fingers with your hair.

your lips lock and you place your hand on his forearm, the other on his shoulder as the two of you hold the kiss for about 3 seconds before pulling away.

you both stayed in the same position as you smiled widely, your cheeks pink while your eyes shifted away from his, flustered and happy that things werent weird like you thought they might be.

matt brushes your hair out of your face as a smile creeps onto his mouth when he sees the expression on your face.

-- "youre so fuckin beautiful, y/n."

[nanis4thewin]

Oky but like 🤭🤭 quackity being a sugar daddy to his future s/o that he fell in love with

(JEJEJ BRO WHO NEEDS A SUGAR BABY FR 🤧🤧⁉️⁉️)

first before u guys started dating- he would by everything for u. like if u were out and maybe u guys were at starbucks he would be like “hey, i wanna pay for u” and ur like “no no no! its fine i can do it no worries-“ and as u were rambling alex was probly already paying for chu 🤭🤭🫶🏻🫶🏻

it was pretty obvious that u were alex favorite. like if u guys were hanging in a group and u guys went to a restaunt, alex would whisper to u and be like “hey im paying for u” and ur like “what? no its fine-“ and alex is like “lemme pay 😑😑” and just trying to play cool

MAYBE NOT U , BUT ME- im broke- so the way i show love is making small things for my friends. playlists, jewlry i make, art, or words. or affection. so if u did that for quackity and made him like a painting for him he would be like “what why r u giving me this?” and then u explain due to him paying a lot for ur things and u didnt know how to repay him so u made him something more home made :). and when he heard that he had that side smirk he does and he’s like “u didnt have to- i dont mind paying. but thank u” and just starring at u with hearts in his eyes

WHEN U GUYS WERE DATING- spoil spoil spoil. buys u dresses,purses, shoes, takes u out. i remember alex mentioning saying that he didnt grow up with being the most rich. so if u were one of those people who stayed with him even when he wasnt that wealthy- he would be so grateful. helping u out with stuff and if u guys share an apartment and share rent and u dont get ur side in on time he would be like “no no no dont worry, its ok baby” and just u know 😽

[pechebeche]

i finished survive!! might as well do a retrospective. spoilers throughout

some things i thought they did very well:

wrathful ending. oh my god it ruled

and on a similar note, aoi's character in particular was very thoroughly explored and well executed. miu was also a high point.

i mean, the core concept itself of "digimon but its survival horror" is pretty fuckin sick. moments like shuuji's death really called back to the coolness of that core premise. honestly, i wish there'd been MORE like that.

for better or worse, each of the kids definitely got their moments to shine and relatively equal screentime!

kinda rules that 3 of the 4 holy beast digimon went to the girls. really made up for the male-leaning cast numbers.

some things im neutral about:

the combat was...fine. it was Fine. it was grating and annoying at times, but very satisfying at others. turning on 3x speed and turning off attack animations made the grind more bearable, but it was still definitely a grind. about what youd expect from digimons first attempt at grid-based combat

kaitos arc struck me as just kind of told not shown. kaito's desire for power is the same in both his bad and good ends; the evolution only changed because piedmon got involved. it feels like he didnt get to grow as much as the other chars, which is disappointing, because he had lots of potential.

truthful ending was also just kind of Fine tbh. felt almost rushed towards the end.

does suffer from Digimon Dub Syndrome. mileage varies on whether thats a good thing

some things i thought they did poorly:

WOW that final boss SUCKED

i hated that theres only a single big decision that decides the ending. i wanted pathways that branch along the way like a true visual novel.

the fact that instead of writing how shuuji and ryo's arcs were altered by their friendship with takuma, they both just 'snapped out of it' vis a vis Being Assholes so that the plot could move on...was SO lame

extremely predictable in many ways. you could tell who was going to die next and about how it would happen. several character arcs were obvious from the moment the character was introduced. characters had realizations of the same thing happened sometimes three or four times within a single playthrough, including where the plot didnt make Sense unless theyd realized it earlier. just all around poor situation plotting.

ultimately, while wrathful pulls me up from being truly neutral about the game, i think id only recommend it on sale.

[borzoilover69]

(tampers with the gas) dirkjake for the shipping bingo

as you can see my thoughts on them are varied and i can write entire essays. a gas leak made my obsession with them hit an entire level i didnt know was possible. They're everything and nothing to me and i dislike most of fanon abt it and i hate this ship but also i have never cared this much about a ship in general for the doors it could open into messy straight relationship type bullshit with they give me the mic. I find myself often looking thru the tag just to see what people say on it because either theyre completely annoying and wrong or relatively right it really depends.

WARNING: THE FOLLOWING SECTION CONTAINS EXTENSIVE RAMBLING ON A TOPIC NOT MANY PEOPLE ARE INTERESTED IN:

i will both simultaneously defend this ship with my fucking life but also i will take any chance to shoot those two fuckers dead i genuinely wish jake english and dirk strider ill they are teens with attachment issues and i think the demonisation of it w/o looking at it as just a relationship that sort of is messy sucks and i think fanon should leave them the fuck alone. if given the chance i would kill both of them simply so i wouldnt have to see them at all but also i wish there were more meta writers for dirkjake bcus i find it so hard to find people that extrapolate at length abt it because its so wild to me the guilt and the feelings and the way they tear and grate at each other is so interesting to me.

every relationship is worse with them anyone that gets caught in the crossfires and tries to sort it out is basically doomed because whats probably going to happen is that dirk and jake are going to gang up to either a.) try to use the person as a weapon against the other or gang up to hurt this mfer theyre essentially doomed but in like a way that everyone is partying and those two are stuck together with awkward air.

im. not going to check over this ramble im just going to keep going. i have so much shit to say.

i hate the villainisation of dirk i hate the villainisation of jake they both suck in the way that teens and most young adults will theyre both at fault i hate the "jake never felt anything towards dirk because hes aro" yes he fucking did aro people can still feel levels of attraction and its very fucking obvious how tied up in each other they are and there are like a million and one reasons i could name it if you gave me a day and 15 pages of text.

i hope they both kill each other the idea of them being happy together is endearing but i dont want that for them most times unless im feeling especially sappy the fandom sort of ruined dirkjake for me heres my big old fuckyou to OD anyways heres a few song lyrics that make me think of them

They would literally be the subject of so much fucking talk in publications because theyre never over not even close theyre stuck together theyre going to be doing this dance for fucking years and either end up as the strangest but happiest freaks in some janked up mansion with a million different things that the normal person would think is fucking weird and strange and unnerving but which they think is completely normal or theyre just going to end up killing each other and nobody is going to be safe in the crossfire theyre going to key each others cars and send pipe bombs and poke at every single hole and flaw in the others facade blah blah blah.

people who just focus on the good parts of dirk and jake dont get it people who focus on the flaws only dont get it i think there should be more discussion but also the idea of being exposed to someone who doesnt get it is hell for me ive read their pesterlogs like so many fucking times and ive written extensively abt their selves and what flaws they have and i could prolly kick the shit out of them anyways mic drop im done.

[dogpixie]

sorry annoying post but its so crazy that mike and i created a baby together... like i love him so much and things were alrdy so awesome between us and now wer doing this super crazy special thing together and i feel sooo grateful i get to do it w him. and we didnt even mean to lol but then it became so obvious that it was the perfect next step in our lives together. i didnt think i cud love him more but i do hes just so cool n legit th most thoughtful & understanding person ive ever met. hes been soooo extra nice and accomodating to me while pregnant i rly am so so lucky...

[squidbian-ink]

OCtober Day #6 - Past

This weeks prompts are going to mostly be written prompts for me. I'm not particularly skilled with words but I still wanted to participate!

I took this prompt a bit differently and decided to talk more about where my OCs came from and why, rather than the OCs themselves. It was a good exercise in self reflection. I don't except anyone to read it, but its fairly short if you feel like it :)

Like a lot of undiagnosed autistic girls, I was a mimic. Everything about my personality, even the way I talked, was copied from somewhere else.

I liked pretending to be into fashion and boys and barbies, because thats what I saw other girls doing (and holy shit was I desperate to be friends with them). I liked 'writing stories' that were more or less recaps of books I'd already read with the serial numbers filed off. I used fancy words and metaphors I'd heard but didn't actually understand so that the adults would tell me I was 'smart'.

I was so good at mimicry that it prevented me from becoming my own person for a really long time.

My perchant for copying naturally extended to the 'art' I'd create. I mentioned Gummy in a previous post, and that in her first iteration, Gummy had panda ears. Well- fun fact- this is because when I was 12, my older cousin showed me a song some furry artist had made about a NSFW dating sim. That artist's OC was a busty panda, so I straight up copied her.

Also, Gummy was named after the vocaloid Gumi, but specifically the way I used to mispronounce her name as Gummy. I thought my OC being named Gummy like the Gummy bear song was funny, because I was 13 and that was a meme at the time. Also, Gummy was originally a god-like being, because I was reading Noragami at the time and I was obsessed with Yato and Hiyori's dynamic (with Gummy being Yato, and Kendall Hiyori). I didnt have anything original to say about it. I wasn't doing a take. I just gender swapped them, really.

I had these characters but was never able to come up with a story that 'stuck'. What ended up happening, usually, was that the genre they were in would change depending on what media I was into at the time. For eg, Gummy became a gang criminal with psychic powers when I was watching Mob Psycho and Banana Fish.

I'm sure my mimicry was obvious to others at the time, but it wasn't to me. I truly thought I was being original and cool.

I don't think its bad to copy things in art, especially when you're a kid who's still learning. But I also think that, if you want to make something really good, you should at least have an opinion on what you're copying.

I've realised recently that I haven't had my own opinions for most of my life- just copied thoughts and mimicry, like my OCs, like my personality, like my various attempts at identity. In terms of my work, I think this has long been one of the many things holding me back.

I'm grateful to be 25 now. I hope by reflecting on where my OCs came from, I can chart a path to a version where I finally have something of my own to say.

[rubyted]

dirt and i went white water rafting yesterday down the kennebec river and it was really fun and beautiful and we had a guide who's like a tangential friend of his so we got to go for free on a private trip rather than like in a formal group through the company. like the guide's friends and girlfriend came too and it was so fascinating because i never spend time around serious smokers and stoners anymore and it's like... mind blowing how much money, energy, planning is put into maintaining a nicotine/weed high. like we were white water rafting! and they were constantly passing around cigarettes that they packed in the dry bag's first aid kit, they brought beers which fell into the river when we went over waves and rocks, they all had obvious anxiety when the lighter didnt' work (because it got wet. because we were white water rafting)..... i enjoyed all of them and the guide was incredible at his job, describing all the curves of the river to us with a cigarette hanging out his mouth the whole time. i trusted him with my life and it's so obvious how in love with the kennebec he is. but dang i felt so grateful to just have my feet up with dirt leaning on me and us looking at kingfishers and eagles quietly as we listened to everyone tell war stories about all the drugs they'd done, why they prefer tequila over mezcal, how they all wish they could take cigarettes in the water when they swam, and dirt and i looked at each other grinning and were both so grateful to be sober and to not need anything, to have left everything in the car and just have our bodies and that was enough. i don't think i'm better than them. it was just surreal and i'm just so grateful for my sobriety and how little i need to feel content.