#they didnt get notes or anyting

[thechildisgone]

i used to post pll edits/icons on tumblr in 2010/2011 adsjklg

[thelastspeecher]

hi well maybe some prompts for baby ford umm

1 acting like a real toddler back when he was 4 with his foster family. he didnt want a bath and cried and screamed until he passed out with a sippy cup of milk

2 baby ford wanting to spend time with stan and not knowing what to say so he just asks him to tell him a story -could be fluff or angst where stan tells him about his 'dad'

3 the moment where stan realizes ford is his 'nephew' n ford is eh why not xd

4 and the moment where he says the truth

sorry if its too much xdq

I went with option #3. Hope you like it!

———————————————————————————————————–

              Like usual, Stanford Payne was sitting by himself at lunch, silently eating the sandwich his foster parents had packed him.  Stan couldn’t help but wonder why the kid always had a bag lunch, rather than get the cafeteria food.

              Sure, school food can be questionable sometimes, but this is a fancy private school.  Sometimes the stuff they serve here is better than the food my mom made when I was a kid.  Stan also wondered why the kid refused to sit with the other children during lunch.  In general, he seemed to be a loner.  Stan walked over to Stanford and sat down next to him.  Stanford looked at him, eyes big behind his thick, square-rimmed glasses.  The expression was so familiar, it made Stan’s heart ache.

              “Hey, Stan,” Stan said cheerfully.  Stanford looked at his sandwich.

              “Hi,” he mumbled.

              “I, uh, I had a coupla questions for you,” Stan said.  Stanford frowned at his sandwich, which Stan silently noted had the crusts cut off.

              “…Okay.”

              All right, Stan.  You got Shermie all suspicious asking him questions about Ford last night.  Gotta make sure it wasn’t a waste.  Stan quickly glanced around to make sure none of the other teachers supervising lunch were giving him odd looks for talking to Stanford.  All clear.  Time to get some answers.

              “So, I heard you’re from Oregon.  Is that right?” Stan asked.  Stanford set his sandwich down and began to pick at it morosely.

              “That’s where they found me,” he said quietly.

              Weird phrasing.  But he’s a weird kid.  I’ll just ignore it for now.

              “Where in Oregon?”

              “Gravity Falls.”

              That’s where Shermie said Ford was doing research.

              “What were you doing there?” Stan asked.  Immediately, he realized how poorly he had phrased the question.  He opened his mouth to try again, but before he could say anything, Stanford answered him.

              “Research.”

              “What kind of research?” Stan asked.  Stanford promptly turned his head to frown at him.

              “Scientific research,” Stanford said, like it was obvious.

              “Your mom and dad did scientific research in Gravity Falls?” Stan said.  “You must have pretty smart parents.”  Stanford paused.  His gaze roamed across Stan’s face.  After a moment, his brown eyes, already large, widened further.

              “…Yes,” Stanford replied.  “My, uh, my dad, specifically.”  Stan’s heartrate picked up.  “My dad, he was why we were there.  But, um, no- no mom.”

              “Your dad did the research?”

              “Yeah.  In the woods.”

              “What’s his name?” Stan prompted.  He winced.

              The kid’s five and hasn’t seen his dad since he was four.  He might not remember.

              “Same as mine,” Stanford said.  He looked back at his sandwich.  “Well.  First name.  Our last names are different.”

              “Why?” Stan asked curiously.  Stanford shrugged.  “You don’t know?”  Stanford shook his head.  “That’s okay.  So, your dad’s name is Stanford?”  Stanford nodded.

              “But- but people called him Ford.  I think.”

              “Do you remember his last name?” Stan asked.  After a moment, Stanford shook his head again.

              “No.  It sounded sort of like mine, though.”

              “Can you tell me anything else about him?”

              “Um.”  Stanford took a deep breath.  He placed his six-fingered hands on the table.  Once more, the sight made Stan’s heart hurt.  The moment he saw Stanford, he’d wondered why there was a kid who looked just like his twin in kindergarten.  But when he saw the twelve fingers, that was when the gears started turning in his mind.  “People say I look like him.”

              “Why?”

              “Because we just do,” Stanford mumbled.  “And- and he’s got, um-”

              “Extra fingers?” Stan asked.  Stanford nodded.  “It’s kinda cool.”  Stanford looked at Stan doubtfully.  “Being different from everyone else isn’t a bad thing, Stan.  It’s good.  It means you’re special.”

              “…I guess.”

              “If anyone tries to mess with you ‘cause of those extra fingers, come tell me right away.  I’ll handle it.”  Stan ruffled Stanford’s hair.  His fingers promptly got caught in the boy’s thick, brown curls, only further cementing his theory.

              That happened all the time when Ford and I were kids.

              “I’ve got experience handling meanies who don’t appreciate when someone is special,” Stan said firmly.  A small smile appeared on Stanford’s face.  Someone cleared their throat.  Stan looked over.  One of the other teachers supervising lunch, Mrs. Fields, was scowling at him.

              Time’s up.  Stan smiled at Stanford.

              “I’ll see you in gym, okay?” he said.

              “Okay, Mr. Pines,” Stanford said with a nod.  Stan got up and walked over to Mrs. Fields.

              “What is it, Lorraine?” he hissed.  Mrs. Fields crossed her arms.

              “I get that you’re concerned about Stan Payne.  It makes sense.  The poor thing’s been through a lot.  But you can’t slack off just to make sure one child is happy.”

              “I was just checking on him,” Stan snapped, still speaking in an undertone.  “He always sits alone and eats his sandwich.  I wanted to make sure he wasn’t dealing with bullies or something.”  The lie came easily.  Even though that wasn’t the true reason he wanted to talk to Stanford, it was something he’d worried about.

              “Bullies, in this school?” Mrs. Fields asked, sounding scandalized.  Stan glowered.

              “It’s more likely than you think.  Smart upper-class kids can be just as mean, if not meaner, than dumb lower-class kids.  I should know.  I was a dumb lower-class kid.  With Stan’s background, he might not want to tell people he’s being messed with.”

              “Hmph.”  Mrs. Fields looked away, her lips pursed into a thin, straight line.  “Fair enough.  But still, you can’t forgo your responsibilities in the future.”

              “Yeah, yeah, yeah,” Stan said, waving a hand airily.  “I’ll go back to my post or whatever.  Just get off my back.”  Stan walked back to his spot near the doors to the cafeteria.  He glanced around, making sure none of the kids were goofing off, then focused on Stanford again.  Stanford had finished his sandwich and was slowly eating his baby carrots.

              There’s no way this kid isn’t Ford’s son.  Not with everything he told me.  He shouldn’t be with his foster family.  He should be with real family.  Like me or Shermie.  Stan sighed.  But how can I get him out of his foster home?  He glanced down at his hands.  His wedding ring glinted slightly in the fluorescent lights.  Maybe Angie would have an idea.  I’ll need to convince her first, though.  Stan grimaced.  And I’ll need to tell her about Ford.  She’s gonna be pissed I kept something so big from her.  Dammit, I knew not telling her about my twin was gonna come back to bite me in the ass.  Nothing I can do about it now, though.

              “Hey!” a child’s voice shouted.  Stan’s head whipped up.  A boy at a nearby table had thrown one of the meatballs from his meal at a different boy.  Stan headed over to resolve the situation before it turned into a full-blown food fight.

              Back to work.

[dwarfsized]

tagged by the beautiful and amazing @aevallare thank you!!

1) How many works do you have on AO3?

9!

2) What’s your total AO3 word count?

63,696

3) What fandoms do you write for?

it's all bg3 right now, but I've also written for critical role and the arcana (visual novel)

4) What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

1 - that's the kind of love ive been dreaming of (bg3, astarion/f!tav)

2- ain't it warming you (the world goin' up in flames) (critical role, jester/caleb)

3- Liebe ist Fürsorge (critical role, jester/caleb)

4- Fighting the Hurricane (critical role, jester/caleb)

5 - true colors shine in darkness and in secrecy (bg3, astarion/f!tav)

5) Do you respond to comments?

yes! i try to do the "comment when you upload the next chapter" thing but sometimes its been a while since the last chapter and i get embarrassed and just respond to everything in one big rush

6) What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

where i left Fighting the Hurricane probably combined with the (checks notes) 1+ year long update hiatus, i am coming back for you baby i promise. i have plans for it. i just. god. so much happened to me right as i was working on it.

7) What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

All of my fic ends happy (this will not always be the case, eventual AA!AU will be. well. i shan't say.) BUT, and this might just be because its my most recent finished work, i think new steps might end off on the most hopeful note.

8) Do you get hate on fics?

this has never happened to me and id love to keep it that way lmao

9) Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

yes :) the only real posted smut ive got rn is that's the kind of love ive been dreaming of, but i have other smut in the works

10) Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

Fighting the Hurricane doesn't count, really, but that's the closest we've got: its a Critical Role/Pacific Rim fusion.

11) Have you ever had a fic stolen?

not that i'm aware of

12) Have you ever had a fic translated?

nope!

13) Have you ever co-written a fic before?

i have nooooot, but i am not sure that the way that i write (terrible first draft and then editing for 1000 years) is very friendly to co-writing. I'm not against the idea at all though, its just. you know. i wouldn't want to torture a friend with the everything about me. maybe someday though!!

14) What’s your all time favorite ship?

in this house we multiship, peace and love. :) though honestly i made a joke once about retiring kira as an oc after bg3 bc of everything im putting her through after becoming so enamored with kirastarion so maybe that? sorry blorbo from my brain, enjoy the conciliation prize of elf dick.

15) What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

stares guiltily at Fighting the Hurricane ch 2, languishing on my wip pile. listen, i still fully intend to finish that story. i was doing cool stuff in there. the only problem is that my brain exploded while i was writing ch 1, and this wasnt supposed to be more than 2k words but i am myself, and i didnt use outlines then, so my notes are a mess.

also i cannot possibly underline enough the bit where my brain exploded. this is an exaggeration only in that none of it came out of my head, but i was Not Myself for a Long Time.

16) What are your writing strengths?

i think my internal monologue bangs. this is because i agonize over it.

17) What are your writing weaknesses?

moving characters around in the space is like pulling teeth and i feel like a solid 30% of my editing is focused on that. getting someone from point a to point b elegantly and without it feeling like "astarion got up. he moved his feet. he sat down. he looked out the window" makes me feel like walking into the sea

18) Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I like it when it makes sense! Why does this character use another language? Does the reader need to know what they're saying? Is the POV character unfamiliar with the language? Does the reader learn anything from this? If you don't have good answers, why do it?

I find tieflings really neat, and bg3 does the typical dnd thing of "tieflings are looked down on," without, like, doing much with tiefling culture. So Ive had Kira use Infernal as a shortcut to create familiarity with other tieflings, and use it to have private conversations bc why would anyone but tieflings and people living in The Hells know that language--this solves some problems for her! And it creates others.

19) First fandom you wrote for?

Naruto...... once upon a time i wrote shikamaru/sakura fic. i was going to make a joke about that being my actual first longfic but i just checked and it literally isnt, i worked on it for a year and if you dont count the in-text authors notes (it was a different time) the whole thing is shorter than true colors chapter 4.

can you imagine me, now, updating something for a year and it being less than 11k. lol. lmao, even.

20) Favorite fic you’ve written?

eldath's mercy is my darling right now who also scares me to death. update coming soon (this week? i hope?)

i will tag @simon-says-nothing and @raccooncrimes and @septemberskye and YOUUUU reading this if you want to do it, tag me if you do!!

[crispin-kreme]

Hellooo! Can I req for Riddle, Azul, Leona, and Malleus catching their s/o dancing in her room because they asked them out for the prom?

You can do this when you have the time! I know how school can be boring~ 😅 Best of luck!!! 💜

twst boys reacting to their s/o dancing in their room because they got asked for prom

pairings: riddle x gn! reader, leona x gn! reader, azul x gn! reader, malleus x gn! reader

warnings: grammatical errors

notes: this took long so i appreicate your patience <3 i hope you enjoy! this also might be bullshitted bcs im sleepy asf

RIDDLE ROSEHEARTS

you were squealing sm

after riddle has asked you for prom- he suddenly heard screaming from your room once he exited

“y/n, are yo–” gets cut off seeing you dancing

you suddenly stopped as you got caught by him

riddle was just like “were you dancing🧍”

you had to admit that you were just pumped up when he asked you for prom

“of course i would ask you out, you’re my partner after all.”

LEONA KINGSCHOLAR

he heard screaming from your room-

he was basically visiting your dorm just to tell you more details abt prom and all

leona just asked you out earlier at lunch

so when you got to your dorm you were jumping and dancing around

“were you… dancing?” he blurts out making you stop. you just give out an embarrassed smile and chuckle

he laughs “i didn’t know my herbivore would be so happy when i ask them out.”

AZUL ASHENGROTTO

azul had forgotten something in your room after he had asked you out for prom

well- you thought he left so you were just dancing around your room

you were very much happy 🕺

“hey, y/n. have you seen–” azul gets cut off as he sees you dancing

you stopped and you were so embarrassed

“YOU DIDNT SEE ANYTING I SWEAR” you exclaimed

he knew you were acting like this bcs he asked you out

so he gives you a smirk instead ;))

MALLEUS DRACONIA

you were very happy malleus asked you out for prom

ofc it did take malleus a lot of courage to ask his s/o out

anyways- as he was bringing some food to your room right after he asked you out

he saw you dancing—

“here’s so–” he gets cut off to your dancing

he lets out a laugh making you stop. “were you just dancing?” he asks and eventually you said yes

he figured out this was bcs of him asking you out so he gives you a kiss on your embarrased expression

[24-guy]

I spent 2 hours on writing notes from the prison podcast stream.

Now I don’t know what to do with them, so I’m putting them here. 

No need to read them, there is just some interesting stuff I noticed, things like tones and how many times somethings are brought up. 

if you do, though, I apologize  for spelling errors. 

start stream

techno "did the calculations" on how long it would take to mine obsidian with the amount of mining fatigue they had. we knoe this is true.

dream has been writing, it is the only thing hes been able to do with the limited items he has. its his "diary"

techno teases over fanfics on wattpad

"the only thing ive written is my diary" do the revive books not count, then? or what is in the revive books that isnt writing?

techno focuses on that nobody is watching - dream doesnt comment on it - dream doesnt know about the voices?

techno is supposed to break dream out, but he hasnt got many ideas "ill get to it later"

techno enjoys prison - sees it as a vacation

techno has an optimistic outlook.

go with the flow

dream sees harming himself as exhillerating techno disaprooves

dream tells techno quackity has been torturing him everyday. techno is only surprised by the every day part

dream mentions the revive book techno remembers being told about that asks "yeah you can bring people back from the dead. yeah so how do you do that" - curious tone, seems genuinely interested for innocent meanings dream responds " i have.. the knowledge and then i get a book and then i burn it" - hesitant at first, then vague but seemingly honest reponse

techno asks what the knowledge is, incantation/password/expelliarmus dream says "something like that" slowly, then quickly says he doesnt know and that he "doesnt know how schlatt had it" - going away from the topic original book - there are more than one it is a book is what youre saying - t well... i mean, it was a book that i memorised and that now i can recreate - d techno tries again to get the knowledge he wants to revive people dream doesnt want to tell techno because he wouldnt be the only one who knew techno tries to bargain saying that if dream died, techno coulld bring him bacl dream knows they wont kill him because he can revive people

dream says no, techno says "you forgot how to write it down didnt you dream says he didnt, that he did it recently, techno repeats again that dream forgot brings up wattpad again. dream says he wrote it down for tommy. he doesnt mention wilbur to techno. bring up the homeless situaation prison is dreams house cell is boiling apparently makes a joke about cali rent prices

nobody visited the cell "we stopped anarcy" "when we get out of here" no though ahead going into this situation (techno) "just as far as i need to" dream doesnt know what techno means by stream schedule, techno jokes about dream's lack of schedual techno usually trains always looking for new combat, reasearching constant arms race no idea when a government will arise or opressing people is always prepared has a good amount of gear he also plays golf somewhere offers a game with dream no way to describe it somewhere farther than his house

dream asks about tommy techno hasnt seen him canonically, only knows he stole acouple months ago - as far as he tells dream

dream asks about carl carl is doing well

dream asks about the family its doing good, apparently, new foxes, got steve who will break him out dream writes about steve "i will write evrrything down because its hard to remember" another fanfic joke

dream asks whos feeding them they feed themselves its probably fine

milld break for 4 wall break

gist or jist

prison podcast offers, agrees that is all this is

technical difficulties

podcast bros

eating potato

dream offers his thoughts on what would happen of he tried to revive somebody who is alive two technoblades human meat sheild

dream wants to try no death first what could go wrong nothing else to do

techno house is man vs nature conflict floor has ants floof brings ants spilled pet food dream has a revivebook techno tries to read it first hit with book a small wait throw into lava DreamXD joins broke the table fixed table a god dream "cloned himsef" god looks exactly like dream feels like a question to ask earlier dream summoned dreamxd ask for wish ask for bell dream gets mad because no escape dreamxd leaves sellout timer goes off techno makes money as dream questions his life dream sits in corner hole techno aims to be annoying we count channel members for a bit

dream and techno friend bonding time?

summons dreamxd for reviving nobody dream writes this in his diary as techno rings bell tries again, it doesnt work creative mode is a known thing by mortals they know how deadly it is

warden on vacation

techno hasnt written anything he has at least 4 books in his inventory, going from the top 2nd space to the top 5th space. the fourth book is called information and is signed by dream. dream throws a potato in the lava techno asks for the revive book again, this time to see of dreamxd will come back because it is a different person summoning him dream says no

techno needs a bell to sell out for the *brand*, ritual and tradition dream put the bell in church prime no twitch primes for dream - hes a heratic (no contract) dream makes no profit dream has lots of raw potatos for 5-6 months

techno asks if dream has any friends dream says not really, they turned against him techno knows the feeling being betrayed by closest friend happens every tuesday for techno

dream mentions being visited by a few people techno asks if any tried not to torture or kill him dream says yeah like he wasnt expecting the question/(as techno put it) "he hesitated"

sapnap - didnt torture or kill him - but he said if dream got out of there, then he would - techno says hes gotta raise his standards

bad - was the best - treated dream the best - techno says hes a cult leader - dream is surprised so techno tells him about the egg - techno wasnt clear - bad hasnt viseted since 4-5 months ago - techno says even he has friends - egg was attacked - big crossover episode not clear what is going on

techno - last time they saw each other was dooms day - been a while - lot has happened - techno doesnt now whats going on currently on the server - he knows nothing - "people" tell him who died and who came back

tubbo - asks about tubbo - tubbo is chillng - snowchester named - commune - a little sus - dictator - no rushing to conclusions - tubbo has nukes - big crater - a hoby - could be meteor

ranboo - asks about ranboo - ranboo is also chilling - brings up tubo's nukes now

dream points out that techno said he didnt know anyting and then said about a new place, nukes, and a lot more dream doesnt know anything - less than techno

ranboo (again) - dream says he used to visit a while ago and then stopped coming - techno asks "ranboo used to visit?" - ranboo visited "a bit" - probably visited the most - sapnap visited - tommy visited a couple of times - bad visited - and quackity - quackity visited the most, only because hes visited daily

more potatos pog potatos

ranboo (x3) - techno asks how dream knows ranboo - "um... its just a.. long story" - techno replies sarcastically about how they dont have any time to go through it, theyre so busy with the bell - dream "i dont know him very well. he just visited a few times and that was it." - techno just repeats alright, its either bored or thinking - dream "and then i havent seen him since then so thats why i was wondering where hes been, if hes been around" - techno " ah... im not sure. i havent been around fpr like the past couple of months, honestly."

techno went on  atraining montage, played golf

dream asks about the plan to get out mining fatigue 3 doesnt mean they cant break blocks, its just approximately 370 times longer breaking obsidian takes a bit over 4 minutes math = obsidian block gone in 25.7 hours. an alarm break in the right spot break block in toilet elder guardian below the cell techno can take him if techno somehow dies dream brings him back could be out in 2 weeks havent been visited for 2 weeks nothing to lose dream has to break obsidian techno wants to end stream techno came up with idea so dream has to do it dream starts bell ringing for cheerng him on techno sounds happy that dream is doing it voices are mentioned - theyre laughing techno has perfect track of time techno is gonna annoy dream the entire time techno is a lookout there are only 4 books we only see the 4th name floof interrupts momentarily tommy killed a cat because dream liked it 300 dogs in the cell joke

channel member bell dream regrets his life again techo's plan? bell was a better investment dream has 10 bells in e chest techno doesnt techno wanted to go for more so techno could ring bell again

end of stream

[tac-confessions]

K lemme clear some stuff up since some of you cant read, and yes im gunna be aggressive as hell in this because none of you listen

First few things, i am not suicidal, i did not say i was going to off myself, i do not know who that anon was but because of everyone saying that anon was me, that anon is not getting the help they deserve from you people so maybe instead of looking for another petty reason to justify your actions against me, think for a second how ignorant your actions are to someone who is legitimately struggling with life right now. How do you think that anon feels? To have posted that as an attempt to seek help or something or to vent, and then see everyone going “omg vlixxie did this to guilt trip deku!!1!” Yeah, please use your brains thank you

To clarify, what i said was that i have struggled with suicidal thoughts and tendancies in the past, im getting help and im getting better, but i still struggle with heavy depression, i did not intend for this to be a guit trip, i realized how aggressive i was towards deku and i attempted to explain why i got so angry at them, receiving vivid violence threats like that really can trigger memories of when i was struggling with life, it can trigger a lot of dissociation and anger and hard shit to deal with, please do not take my words out of context if your going to go off on me for that, no one likes a hypocrite

K second thing, can you FUCK OFF with the ableist autism comments what the actual fuck is wrong with you anons. Seriously? You think people are defending me because im uwu autistic cant do shit? Yeah i have autism, yeah its a disorder thats hard af to deal with, but you know what? I fucking deal with it because life doesnt go soft on you because yoy have more trouble navigating it. I know how to control myself, i know how to form words, i can function as a human being and implying that i cant and that thats the only reason people are defending me is sickening and dehumanizing. Stop minimalizing me and the autistic community as a fucking whole just because you want reasons for me to be at fault

Next point, the slurs, oh the slurs, deku used the R slur against me. Deku did not know i was autistic, i did not ever expect them to have known that as i didnt tell them so i’d appreciate it if you dropped that whole “how could deku know!!” Im not mad because deku used a specific slur against autistic people against me. Im mad because deku used a slur as an insult. As i have been informed, deku also has some kind of disorder, but thats none of my business so i wont ask. The point is, deku has a disorder so in technicality he is likely eligable to reclaim the R slur. The issue with how deku used the slur was they used it as an insult, thats not how reclaiming works, reclaiming a slur is a process used by the minority to slowly take the edge away, to take away its power, so it cant be used against them anymore. When you “reclaim” a slur by using it as an insult, your giving it more power, your using it to descriminate, your doing literally the oposite of reclaiming. So dont come at me with the “deku can use the slur” because while thats true, using a slur to belittle or insult someone takes away any rights you might have and makes you just as discriminatory as anyone else using a slur as an insult

My triggers, so as i gave mentioned in this and as i have mentioned in notes and past posts, violence indicators and threats in general are pretty triggering for me, i dont know why ya’ll started saying “how could deku know??” Because i never said i expected them to know, newsflash, i really dont. Im not open about most of my triggers because most are centered around trauma or are embarrassing to talk about, ya’ll think i wanna be out here talking about how i used to wanna off myself? Ya’ll think im enjoying that? Nah not one bit i’d rather shut my damn mouth on that but it’d just give you people yet another reason to come at me so here we are. Deku did not know those two things would especially set me off, but the fact of the matter is that deku used a slur against me, and deku threatened me. Wether those two things are triggers for me or not they’re disgusting behavior and sick. The reason i brought up the triggers was like i said earlier, to try and explain why i got so aggressive at deku in addition to the original nature of the threats and insults

I legitimately dont know what “evidence” ya’ll have against me but your claiming you got screenshots of me doing/saying something that apparently warrants you to attack me, before ya’ll start sending those screens out like u claim your gunna do, maybe you should dm me and ask for my side, instead of furthering the one sided nature of this shitshow. I do have beef with endo rn, i have had beef with endo for a while now, but i kept it all in private, i didnt say anyting, i vented to my friends a few times because it was stressful as fuck and it was eating me up inside, i gave them screenshots when they asked but i literally never took this public. So before you try to attack me for “publicly” shaming endo, maybe consider that you are literally the people who made this a public affair and literally publicly shamed *me* for nothing

You had no reason to make this public, you had no reason to attack me, you’re grasping at straws trying to find a way to justify your actions, your trying to use me as a scape goat to take the blame off you, but you know what? I own up to my actions, i apologize when necessary, i genuinely want to better myself when i fuck up. And i dont use my mental health or my disorders as a sheild, i explain them when it’s necessary to the situation so dont twist that against me because it’ll only make you more of an asshole

Finally, people arent defending me because i have autism, people arent defending me because im “helpless” people are not defending me because i cant control myself or for any reason your describing, people are defending me because someone blatantly publicly threatened me with no basis and continued to harrass me and bully me into submission. To keep saying people are defending me because i have autism is not only offensive to me as a person with autism, its offensive to the whole ass community, we can take care of ourselves, just because we’re different doesnt mean you can pick our strengths and weaknesses apart and force an identity upon us

So before you make another post trying to further pin everything on me and make more shitty comments against me to justify yourself, consider that maybe you actually fucked up

And for the record, you keep saying i fucked up and im deflecting and i got called out, no one has told me how i fucked up, no one has told me why i apparently deserve this, so how the fuck do you expect me to apologize for actions i did that you wont tell me about. I cant apologize for things i didnt know offended or hurt you, not unless you downright tell me that it hurt you, im not a mind reader, and publicly shaming me isnt going to change that

Thank you.

[dreamychick]

Shit noticed on this go around in Goblet of Fire when I re read it as an adult.

Harry wore them but was not as excited for those socks Dobby made as he should have been. They sounded awesome. He made them by hand and was something he knew you loved Harry. Be more grateful.

We've said it before but. Fred and Angelina really go to the Ball together. Only for her to get married to George after Fred dies in the end. So. This moment means nothing.

All of the Champions either are or take a Quidditch player to the Ball.

Harry

Cedric

Krum

And Fleur takes the Ravenclaw Captain. What the hell is up with that? Jocks united? Only Quidditch stars can go as champions? Jesus.

What are the fucking odds that Harry actually saw Rita skeeter bug and just didnt know it at the time? Like he actually was right next to her. In the WHOLE garden. She was just. Right there huh.

When they go off to Hogsmead before Ludo offers to help him with the egg they see Krum dive into the lake, he probably had the clue figured out at that point. That's why he was going in. To practice swimming in the lake itself right?

When Harry takes a bath to figure out the egg there is a Mermaid portrait in the room. There is a portrait in the bathroom. Portraits are alive. They can speak to you. This sentient mermaid can watch underage children bathe and that makes me uncomfortable thinking what other kinds of paintings are in other bathrooms.

Myrtle helps harry alot with his egg clue and hes pretty rude to her. I mean shes a bit of a pervert sure. But she does close her eyes when he goes in and out so shes not looking at anything she shouldnt. But when she just asks for him to visit he completly blows her off. Like what an ass.

After he gets stuck in the trick stair and almost gets caught the not Mad eye tells him he should be an Auror. He says "Interesting idea....he'd like to check how scarred the rest of them were before he chose it as a career."

And then he just.....chooses it as a career? Really?

Snape reads a whole gossip collum about a student out loud to the class just to humiliate him. And then moves him to sit in front of him to quietly intimidate him so noone else can hear him. Teacher of the fuckin year.

Sirius loves Harry so much he lives off rats to survive just to be near him just in case hes needed. Thats fucking love bitch.

Teenagers are bitches they really sent Hermione hate mail because of an article that she was being a two-timer on Harry. I'm not saying it's not realistic I'm just saying the teenagers are bitches.

Nifflers are fluffy black creatures with long snouts thank you for that description once again and for confirming that what I said all along was true. In what universe is that platypus looking thing a niffler? He is very cute but he's not a niffler.

Nothing electrical Works no computers nothing with electricity they say so does that mean that I wouldn't have a phone or an iPod or anyting? How the hell do I listen to my music when I'm studying do I have to learn how to Magic my iPod to work without electricity? Cuz that's going to be the first goddamn spell I learn.

We know how protective Mrs. Weasley is of harry because she thinks of him as another son but is she really the type to listen to gossip from someone like Rita Skeeter? Like she sent hermione an Easter basket basically out of spite of a tiny little Easter egg because she thought that Hermione was cheating on Harry like come on now Mrs. Weasley is like the nicest person ever she wouldn't do that. That just seems super out of character

I just realized again that when Krum takes Harry aside to ask if he and Hermione are together, Harry says he feels he and the 18 year old Proffessional Quidditch player are equals.

Krum is 18 years old. Hermione is 14. Im......not ok with that. Its only a 4 year age difference and theyre not doing anything like, sexual. But even so. Im still super not alright with that when you put it like that. Him being a student doesnt change the fact that hes a whole almost grown man and shes still just a child. Yikes. And this from someone who likes Krum.

When they're going to send their letter they meet up with Fred and George who are off to Blackmail or considering blackmail and George tells Ron that he's traveling down the road to become a prefect and Ron gets so offended and says that he's not and I just think that it's so funny because he ends up becoming one and that literally is all of the boys in the family became a prefect except for the twins

When Harry falls into the pensive you hear that Snape was a Voldemort supporter but he turned spy before Voldemort's downfall at Great personal risk. Wasn't the only reason he turned spy literally because he found out that Harry Potter's family was being targeted? So Snape was willingly a Death Eater like he made the choice to become a Death Eater that's not just oh I was a bullied kid you should feel bad for me this is like you're legitimately a Death Eater. Like my bro Death Eaters kill people and they torture them and they do a lot of not nice things. You can't use being bullied as an excuse for everything so you willingly became a Death Eater that was your choice and yes Dumbledore gave you a second chance that does not negate the fact that you made that choice in the first place and that you were a terrible person. And what are you doing with your second chance? You're still being a terrible person. You're not killing people, but you're psychologically torturing teenagers so.....

They saw Draco talking into his hands out the window. And isnt it convenient they always happen to be lopking out windows at exactly the right time to catch the things they need to catch?

Fleur is in love with Bill at first sight, and even oblivious Harry picked up on that. And yet another age gap. 5 years this time. Sigh. At least this one is graduating in a month. I guess thats better. (I do like them together. I honestly think they do have a cute love. But when you notice a pattern it starts being weird. Cuz then its tonks and Remus and that age gap is waaay more. Like the gaps just grow and Im just not cool with it.)

I was gonna wait to post this til I finished rereading. But. I stopped rereading and started other things and Im not going back for a while and ky notes are taking up space on my phone. And my phone is old. So here it is.

I still love Harry Potter. But when you reread it as an adult you do start to see things you never saw before.

[arthurflecksgirl]

Hi there. First of all, I love your writing! I really need Arthur right now. I'm in the ER. Forgive the gross details but I have severe pain and swelling in my right breast along with a rash. I'm 38 years old. My mother was diagnosed with breast cancer at 43. I'm scared to death. Unfortunately, with the COVID situation, no one can go back with patients. I'm sitting here all alone. Can you write something where Arthur comforts me through the pain and takes care of me afterwards. Really fluffy. 🥰

I am so sorry to hear about what you have to go through!!! I'm sending you love and strengh! 💗 Writing this for you would be an honor.

Do you want Arthur to stay at the hospital with you,too????

Thank you for the nice words and that you trust my writing enough to send me this request.

Stay strong! 💗

UPDATE

I just finished it and I really, really hope its comforting and I really hope it is what you wished for, <3 If not let me know and I will write another one.

I hope you are doing okay!!! <3

Sending love , strengh and a lot of kisses from Arthur <3

It was quiet. Way too quiet inside these four walls of white. The sterile look of the hospital room was starting to make you feel isolated. Isolated from the world outside your window, from yourself. From life. It felt like life was what kept going on ouside, while you were here, waiting for the doctors to tell you what the swelling in your right breast could mean. You never felt so alone in your whole life.The loneliness kept creeping in on you and the only one who yould take it away was him. You checked the clock. Not long until he will be here. Thank god.  You couldnt take it any longer without having him by your side. Your hand reached down your purse as you pulled out a little note that he wrote you the last time he visited: "You are the strongest person I have ever known. I can taste the bravery within you with every kiss. I´m all yours - Arthur" You read it again and again, your eyes watering from love. Arthur was truly the most caring, loving person you ever met. Just simply holding his hand filled you with new energy to make it another day. Arthur thought this was ironic, because he saw himself as someone broken.  You kept telling him that the sun was still shining in its brightest light between the cracks. "You`re not broken" you used to tell him "You are open where life left its cracks. open to receive the love you deserve". He was your anchor and you were his. Two people having each others backs, no matter what. No matter what life served you. You faced it together. Hand in hand, ready to heal each others wounds with the unconditional love you held within. There was nothing in the world you couldn`t face with him on your side. You put the note beside the small table beside your hospital bed and turned on the tv.  Some comedy shows aired . You knew that Arthur would love them and watch them all day with you, while cuddeling up on theYou couch. You missed his couch. The old one with the worn out  blankets and  cushions which smelled like his hair. You missed sharing a blanket with him, feeling the heat of his body warming up your heart. You just  coudnt wat to get home to apartment 8J again and fall asleep in his protective arms. You knew that Arthur was more than hurt about the whole situation,too. You were the person who  helped him getting better when his depression hit worst.  To him it was just as hard to be home alone as it was for you to stay at the hospital. You knew he suffered from insomnia when he was alone. All you wanted was the two of you being together again as soon as possible. You switched through the channels and stopped at a show you knew Arthur would like, knowing knew exactly which jokes would be the ones which make him laugh the hardest. You smiled. Some day he will be on tv when you turn it on. It was obvious. Arthur was a great comedian. His humor was just very special, so some people wouldnt get it. Bu in your opinion that was the whole point. To have your own, original kinda humor. It`s the only way to be remembered by the audience. Arthur knew that you belived in him and it meant the world. Your heart made a little jump as the door opened. "Hey Y/N, my love. I`m here." his presence already filled the room as his foot crossed the doorway in a way only dancers did. There was something so special about his aura. The energy radiating  around him always made you feel like home. Even here. Home was where he was. "Hi Arthur! I´m so glad you`re here. I missed you like crazy." You took a deep breath. There was nothing like him caring for you. He put the big, brown paper bag on the floor and hugged you carefully so your chest wouldn`t hurt. "Same. If only you knew how much I have missed you at night."  his brown curls fell tickelish onto your neck. You could smell his shampoo. Finally a familiar scent around here. You tried to breathe it in as deep as possible as your hand stroke the back of his head. "How are you feeing, darling?" he asked as your embrace loosened. "Not so good" you admitted "There is still pain in my chest and I`m just scared. But I feel better now that you are here". Arthur glanced at you with his worried puppy eyes while he took you hand "I`m so sorry you have to go through this. i wish I could take the pain away from you. I would carry it for you.  All of it. You know that right?" You tried to fight the tears coming. he was just too good to be true "I know, Artie. " "But you`re not alone in this" he sqeezed your hand three times, which was your subtile meaning for "I love you". "I am right here. And I won`t leave your side. Ever. We will get through this together. If there is anyting you need...." You sqeezed back "The only thing I need  right now is you. " Arthur smiled "Hey, I got a little surprise for you. " You felt yourself smiling from ear to ear "What is it?" "Its in my bag" Arthur bend over to get his ukulele "I...um.....well..." he seemed kinda nervous as he ran his fingers through his hair. "I was awake all night so I wrote you a song". "Arthur oh my god, are you serious?" you coudnt belive how cute he was. His facial features so innocent for a man at his age. "Yeah.. I dont know if it´s good enough. I mea I wanted it to be perfect but sometimes I am not as good with words. I mean they dont come out the same way they sound like in my head but...." "Oh Artie, I am sure it´s perfect. Thats so sweet of you. I`m speechless." He nodded, his eyebrow lifted for a second "Well...I really really hope you like it. But I`m pretty nervous about that. " You watched him putting his finers to the strings "I think I have never heard you sing before." He chuckled "I know....Thats why I´m nervous. I usually only sing to myself". His confession made you feel all warm and fuzzy inside. For a moment you even forgot about the pain. Arthur closed his eyes as he started to sing : "At night When my demons fight I imagin your hand Us walking barefoot through the sand Weightless   And I understand What it feels like to be loved"

His soft voice hit you right in the feels. There was so much going on between the lines. The details of his beautiful face while he kept his eyes closed. The wrikles beneath his eyes. His thin lips moving. Eyebrows twitching. You couldnt stop watching his gentle fingers playing the ukulele.  You knew that this was personal. Arthur was dreaming about going to California since his childhood. He yearned about it in his diary.

"A breeze is  blowing through your hair Just know I will be there When darkness is closing in Through all the fight We carry light within...."

Arthurs voice cracked. He shook his head "I´m sorry.... I...I`m just getting so emotional over this..." "Arthur! That was so beautiful" you reached for his hand and he grabbed yours immediately. "You`re singing voice....it`s so soft and soothing. It really calms the storms." Arthur hugged the ukulele with his free hand "Aww, thank you for saying that. This means a lot to me. I really wanted to create something special for you..." "You did, Arthur. It was wonderful. For a moment I even forgot about everything else". He put his instrument beside,sat down next to you and leaned in to kiss you on the cheek. "Never forget how much I love you Y/N." You took his hand and within seconds your fingers enterwined "i`m so scared, Arthur. I`m scared of my life." Arthur put your hands upon his lips to kiss them gently "I know sweetheart" he breathed into the spaces between your knuckles "What did the doctors say?" "I can go home soon but I have to come back for more tests". Arthurs warm breath filled the space between your palms and his "And I will be on your side. You`re my treasure, my whole world. I will not let anything happen to you, okay? Everything is going to be okay". You looked into his green eyes which pierced you with the intensivity of an unknown world. You trusted him more than anyone else. If Arthur told you that it`s going to be okay, you just knew he must be right. And even if you had to fight hard before its going to be okay. In the end it will be. "Can you just hold me in your arms?" you asked him silently. Arthur didnt hesitate to sit down on your bed and leaned towards you, so he could wrap his arm around your shoulders. "You feel like home, Arthur". He kissed you softly on the forehead. There was no better playce in the world as in his arms. No matter if this all took place in a hospital room. Right now it was home. "Remember when I thought I coudlnt find the strengh to fight anymore?" You nodded. Arthur reached this point many times in my life. His reasons might differ from yours, but still he knew what it meant to suffer, to feel all alone, to be afraid of not being strong enough. He knew too well. "There is so much more strengh inside of us than we think about ourselfs. You tought me that Y/N." A smile crossed your lips "I remember" "And when all of this is over" Arthur pointed at the ukulele "We`re gonna go to the beach, making music together, writing songs about how we made it through this. We`re gonna lie under the palm trees and be excited about how blue the sky is. That kinda blue you would never see out here in Gotham. I`ll collect you the most beautiful seashells I can find and at night I will sing you lullabies until you fall asleep. How does that sound to you?" Your eyes focused his red ukulele. Red was his favourite color. "That sounds wonderful, darling. I just wish this could be true". "It will be" he said. "I never thought I would find someone to see the real me. To love me. And it happened. Good things do happen Y/N. We will go to California and do all those things together. And all of this" he pointed at the room you were in "....will be a faded memorie of something we faced together. Nothing more." he pulled you closer and kissed your lips. The taste of coffee lingering on his lips. Somehow despite all that fear that was inside of you, everything he said made sense. If you thought of the future, this right now would only be a memory. A story you could tell  others to help them having faith  that everything is going to be okay. "I`m already saving money" he sounded excited about what he was going to tell you "You know...I wanted it to be a surprise but I guess I will already tell you now. I just know it will cheer you up." The wrinkles beneath his eyes showed as he smiled at you. "I just got a new job!" "What? Arthur? Where? Thats great. How?" He wiped one of his stubborn curls out of his face "Remember when I was at the little boys birthday four weeks ago? The one with the father who works for a tv show?" "Sure, yeah I remember". "His dad saw me as Carnival and he really liked what I was doing. He invited me to work for them. They will hire me for a couple of weeks and if everything is going rightthey will accept me in their team. Can you belive this? Me working for a tv show!" "I´m so happy to hear that. Thats your dream, Arthur". He kissed the back of your hand "My dream is you to feel better again, honey. You to be healthy and happy". He looked up to the small tv screen playing comedy shows "But it will allow us to go to California! All you have to do is to get better, okay?" "I will, Artie. I promise to try my best" Arthur stroke your hair "I know" he whispered "You always do". He reached down to his brown paper back again and puled out a bag of goodies "Look what I made for you. Another night of insomnia. So I wanted to make the best out of it." He handed you the small bag for you to take a look. "Just reach down and pull one out" he chuckled. Your fingers searched for the goodies and you couldnt help but giggle as you saw what he did. Little gingerbread men that looked like clowns. "Artie. Ohhhhhh.....I don`t even know what to say. You made them all by yourself? What other talents have you been hiding from me?" Arthur shrugged "I found this old receipe that used to hang on my kitchen wall. I havent baked one in ages. Look, he has a little hat!" "And a little flower thing" Arthur nodded "So you like it?" "Arthur. I dont like it. I love it. You`re just the sweetest. I can`t belive how luckyI am...." your eyes started watering. "Oh no, Y/N. Don`t cry! Please!" "Those are happy tears" "Oh...I see" to Arthur happy tears were a mistery. His laughing condition was kinda the opposite to it. A painful laughter that had nothing to do with feeling happy at all. He never experienced something like happy tears in his whole life. So seeing you crying while telling him you felt good was something he tried to understand. You took a bite from the gingerbread clown "They look so cute, I feel bad eating them". Arthur couldnt help but giggle again "Oh, I can make tons of these when we get back home. " "Thank you, Arthur. They are delicious. I feel so much better since you arrived. I wish you could stay for the night. Another night without you is going to be aweful. I just wanna go home." "Should I talk to the doctors and ask them if we could get you home for the night?" "They said I could go home for a short amount of time tomorrow. So it`s one more lonely night". Arthur fed you another small gingerbread clown "I`m with you in my thoughts, you know that rIght? I`m gonna bake you more of these little buddies. And when you get back home we will eat a whole bowl of them together." "Sounds like you have no more trouble eating?" "It got better " he nodded. "I am so happy to hear that, Arthur". "Another thing I thought would never chance. I remember a time when I wasnt even able to eat one bite without getting sick." "Yeah you put on some weight. I love to see it". "You better come home soon or i´ll bake and eat so much cake by myself , I will not fit into my suit anymore until you`re back." he joked. Arthur put his forehead against yours and kissed the tip of your nose. You both chuckled as the door opened. It was the doctor. His face lighted up as he saw you laughing "Oh Ms. Y/N. I`m glad to see you smile." Arthur turned around "She is feeling a lot better now". "Is that true Ms. Y/N?" "Yes doctor!" "See, we checked the tests we have done so far and  it´s possible for you to go home over night. Please be back two days from now for more tests, okay?" "Really`?" The doctor nodded "Two days will be fine". Arthur fell back into your arms with tears in his eyes. Thats when you noticed. Happy tears. "Arthur! You are crying happy tears!" He wiped the tear from his cheek " I guess so. I had no idea that they feel so good! I`m gonna take you home with me. We will be able to sleep in our own bed tonight." You thanked the doctor as Arthur started to pack your stuff. He didnt even knew he was capeable to produce happy tears. This felt like a miracle to him. Half an hour later you left the hospital together and took the next bus to go home. You couldnt wait to enter apartment 8J, to breathe in the familiar smell, to fall on the couch and doze away within the comfort of Arthurs arms. As Arthur put the keys into the lock and opened the door it was just as you imagined. The welcoming atmosphere of home. "I`m so glad to be back" "I can imagin" he said "Sometimes I felt this way, after I came back from Arkham" he looked down "Other times I didnt. Depending on what was going on with my mum. Sit down baby, I will make you a hot cup of tea. You sat down on the couch, watching Arthur disappear in the kitchen, bowling some water. Funny, how special it can feel to just sit on the couch and feel the familiar fabric on your skin. You turned on the tv "Darling, Charlie Chaplin is on. Do you wnat to watch it?" "Sure" he came back with the tea and handed it to you "Careful, its still very hot". He headed to the bedroom to take your fave blanket and wrapped you up in it. "I wrapped myself up in this last night, because I missed you so damn much and it smells just like you.  I finally fell asleep after I baked for hours..  Don`t go to the kitchen. It`s still a mess." He looked worried but happy at the same time. Happy that you finally sat on the couch again. "Let me know what else I can do" "Just come here" you lifted the blanket for him to crawl under. You felt Arthurs tiney body coming closer as you took your first sip of tea. "Arthur, can I rest my head in your lap?" "Sure, darling" he lay down on the couch and waited for you to get in the right position. Changing the position once again caused you pain. Arthur realized and started to caress the hurting parts of your boody in small, careful circles. "Oh baby, it hurts me to see you in pain. Just tell me  how you want to be touched, okay?" "Thats just perfect, Artie" you whispered back, feeling his gentle hand moving up and down, like he was about to heal you from within. "i wish I could ment the pain" he muttered. "Oh, you already do. Belive me. That was all I needed while being at the hospital. Your hands on my hurting body. I can only relax when you`re near."

Your head rested peacefully in his lap while he stroke your hair and leaned towards you to place a kiss onto your forehead before he pulled up the blanket so it covered both of your bodies. Watching Chaplin together felt just as magical as it did at your first date together. You both laughed at the same jokes. He truly spoke the same language as you. Just as Arthur`s  life , yours had it´s ups and downs. Sometimes it seemed like you were all alone, facing an invisible shadow. But that was just something your mind was trying to tell you. The truth was that there was always someone who felt the same. Who fought the same fight. There was always hope. And love. You let your hand slit under his shirt and caressed his skin "Mhhhh...you feel so good. I missed this so much". "Me too" he whispered "All of this will make us only stronger in the end. And we`ll grow closer together. Like we always do". Arthurs soothing voice started to humm into your ear. The pain in your chest was still there but it didnt had control over your mind anymore. It was Arthur. He was holding your whole universe together. And you knew. You just knew. Everything was going to be okay.

[flower-of-the-desert]

2x02 vs 2x20

This has been sitting in my drafts for some time because I wasnt sure if I wanted to post it or not but the recent asks I got made me think might as well. This post explores only one example of the way Alec’s relationships with Magnus and Jace are written and portrayed but that example speaks for the whole of those relationships so I think it’s a good way to show my issues with both ships in general and why I feel there is an imbalance in M@lec in a way that does a disservice to Magnus and thus I, as a Magnus fan first and foremost, am not happy with his relationship with Alec.

Note: I’ve tagged this clearly as anti-M@lec and Jalec only so if it appears in the M@lec tag it’s because tumblr is being stupid again and not because I’ve done it on purpose. So dont bother coming into my ask box telling me what a terrible human being I am for tagging it M@lec. Because I havent.

I’ve started catching up on the episodes of s02 I missed and I just got to Alec’s I cant live without him line from 2x02 and the parallel between that and the scene at the end of the season jumped right out and I’ve been thinking about it.

I mentioned this in my post after the episode but when Alec told Magnus he couldnt live without him, I was... confused for the most part. Like it’s such a romantic deeply emotional line that should invoke at least some kind of emotional responce in the viewer but for me there was nothing of the kind. Why? Because I dont believe it’s true. I dont believe Alec cant live without Magnus because I havent been shown this in the time they’ve been apart. What I have seen is Alec acting like an entitled arrogant ass who continued to ask favours of Magnus without so much as a guilty look only to then turned around and not subtly at all push him away when there was nothing Magnus could do for him. What I have seen is Alec apologizing like a little kid who was forced to say sorry even though he didnt know why he should and didnt feel bad at all. What I have seen is Alec going about his business like nothing too out of the ordinary is going on and looking mildly annoyed at most that his pet warlock/booty call is refusing him now. I did not, in fact, see a man who couldnt live without the love of his life.

And ok, maybe someone will tell me that’s just how Alec is. He doesnt show all his emotions, doesnt get all weepy and sad, he’s the boss, he has to keep it together, etc. Which cool, ok. That could have been an answer enough (although on the other hand, I dont care how reserve a guy is, there are times when he should show some emotion if the show expects me to believe him when he says stuff like this later on) if we didnt have the exact same situation with Jace and Alec’s completely different reaction to losing him instead of Magnus. Which brings me to 2x02.

When Alec said I cant live without Jace, I didnt stop. I didnt question it. I wasnt confused where it was coming from because I had just spent two episode watching Alec going completely out of his mind over Jace. I saw Alec snap and yell and get angry at pretty much everyone whom he percieved as standing between him and Jace - Magnus, Lydia, Izzy, his mom, Clary. Even the closest people to him, his family, werent excluded from his temper. I saw him trying to take control of the whole Institute just so he’d be the first to know any new info about Jace. I saw him standing up to his mother, to the new head of the Institute, to the direct orders of the Clave to defend Jace. I saw him being willing and demanding to undergo dangerous painful procedures with life-threatening consequences in order to find Jace. So when he said I cant live without him? I believed it. Because I saw the evidence of it. The same way I believed Magnus saying he couldnt do anything without thinking of Alec - because again, I saw that. The show took the time to show me all of that.

All of this tells me that Alec is completely capable of having and expressing strong deep emoitons about people he cares enough about. It just seems that Magnus isnt one of them. Because when it comes to Alec’s end of things in their relationship? Apparently I’m just supposed to take him up on his word as there isnt much of anything else to show me how he feels. Or doesnt feel, as the case may be.

In conclusion: this parallel does no favours to M@lec and if anyting it once again shows the difference between Alec’s feelings for Jace/his family vs his feelings for Magnus. And lemme tell you, Magnus does not come out the winner of that comparison. Not even close. And that is my issue with this relationship - the fact that I cant honestly believe Alec loves Magnus as much as Magnus loves Alec and that pisses me off the most because Magnus deserves so much more than what Alec seems willing to give him.

And this is why I find Jalec way more believable (in the sense that I can believe Alec loves Jace) and “properly” written (again in the sense of words being proven by actions and not like objective writing quality or whatever) - because the show actually shows me Alec being in love with Jace while not really doing the same towards Magnus.

[izloveshorses]

Here's everything I love about the Anastasia Musical (Part One)

So!! I've finally collected my thoughts and was able to list out everything I love about this musical (this was supposed to be limited to like 5 songs but I couldn't pick just a handful bc they're ALL SO GOOD). Keep in mind, I haven't seen it live yet, just listened to the album and watched that First Look preview hundreds of times. Pleeease don't mention any spoilers or anything bc I really wanna go see it for myself some day! Warning: long post lol

The first few notes of Prologue: Once Upon a December gave me chills omg

I love how they really touched on just how much Communism affected everybody. Life was pretty crappy for everyone and it's important that it's discussed. Like, the exchange between Anya and Gleb ("I can't lose this job...") really highlights to me that they were all hungry, desperate for work, etc. and it not many people had any hopes for a better future...

"The skies are grey, the walls have ears and he who argues disappears!"

"We're good and loyal comrades and our favorite color's red!"

"Two cans of beans, comrade?" "... doNE"

The collective "SHHH!!"

DONT!! GET ME STARTED!! ON IN MY DREAMS!!!

Christy's voiCE I CANT

When I was first listening to this I was like "ohhh boy... I'm already crying on the 3rd song.... this is gonna be an emotional ride"

"Call the child anYA"

"Is it Pariiiiis? Paris..."

"And I HEAR A VOICE WHISPER 'I'LL MEET YOU RIGHT THERE' IN PARIIIIIIIS. Paris..."

"You don't know what it's like not to know who you are"

"But I still have this faith in the truth of my dreammmms"

"AND MYYY DREEAMS. SEEEEM TO SAAAAY. DONT BE AFRAID TO GO ON. DONT GIVE UP HOPE COME WHAT MAYYYYY"

"I know it all will come baaaaack ONE DAAAAAAAAYYYYYYY!!!!"

Anya/Christyyyyy you're breaking my heart stop it just started

Honestly the whole song is beautiful

All of Learn to Do It is great too bc wow that's a mood changer from the last song lol

"How do you become the person you've forgotten you ever were?"

"Am I floating?" "Like a sinking boat"

"I never cared for stroganoff!"

"I don't like being contradicted." "That makes two of us!"

"I've hAD it!! And I hATE YOU BOTH!"... "Don't forGET I don't remember anything! Get OUT and let me be!"

She takes a big breath before she lists everything she learned lol

Ramin's so talented what the heck

"I heard the shots.... I heard the screams... but it's the silence after I remember most."

"A revolution is a siiiimple thiiiiiiiiiing" my guy, my dude, my man,, no.... that is false,,,

DEREK'S VOICE!!!!! MY PETERSBURG IS ICONIC

"Funny when a city is all you know, how even when you hate it something in you loves it sooooo!!"

"There's a boy, growing up, all I've been, all I'll be..."

"Funny how a BOY CAN GROOOOWWWW! Funny how a city tells you when it's time to goooo!"

"But tonight, there's a sky and quite a viewww... welcome tooooooooooo..... My PetersBUUURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRG!!!"

I know that Once Upon a December is exactly the same as the movie but Christy's voice is so gorgeous so I need to talk about it

"Accross my meeemoryyyyyyyy...."

THE ENSEMBLE!!!! HOLY CRAP!! THEIR HARMONIZING IS SO HAUNTINGLY BEAUTIFUL IT LITERALLY SOUNDS LIKE GHOSTS DANCING WOW IT GIVES ME CHILLS

The piano rising in a crescendo

"FAARRRR AWAY! LOOONG AGOOOO! GLOWING DIM AS AN EMBER!"

Christy's voice at the end my lord

The whole orchestra in this song is amazing

OKAY SO. STAY, I PRAY YOU. IS VERY UNDERRATED. LIKE. WHEN I FIRST LISTENED TO IT I WAS JUST SITTING ON MY COUCH WITH TEARS ROLLING DOWN MY CHEEKS AND WAS LIKE "why.... am I crying... about crossing the russian border.... when I'm not even Russian.... what the heck...."

And!!! It emphasizes the fact that this is communist Russia. You don't leave!!

Constantine's voice here is so haunting and The strings are lovelyyyyyy

This is like that one song from Sound of Music when they cross the mountains lol

THE ENSEMBLE AGAIN....

Christy's and Derek's harmonizing is b e a u t i f u l

"How to go wheRE IIIIII HAve never gone befoooorrre..."

"Let me have a moment, let me say goodbyyyyyye...."

My absolute favorite part is how it slowly fades from the entire cast singing and repeating "iiiii'lll bless my homeland...." to just the trio, to dmitry and Anya, and finally until it's just Anya left.... "iiii'lll bless my homeland... tillllll I diiiiieeee..." It's so chillingly beautiful I'm never gonna get used to that

We'll Go From There is so pure and happy!

"Some women say I look distinguished this way"

"Meet the royal. Mess!"

"Why did I say? yes?"

Again, Derek and Christy's harmonizing is amazing how--

"Getagripandtakeadeepbreath and soon we'll know what's what"

"Oh what a lovely ride! And what a lovely dayyyyy! For a totally illegal geeeeetawayyyyy!"

"From theeeeeEEeeeeeeEEeeeeerrreeeee! We'll go from there!!" Bum

Ramin is baaaack with more angst and beautiful vocals in Still!

"A son becomes a man! At his faaaaather's knee..."

"--to FULLFIIIIILLLLLLLLL"

"But then you see her eyes, and something in them tells you that she ABSOLUTELY LIES"

I KNOW THEY DIDNT CHANGE ANYTHING FROM JOURNEY TO THE PAST BUT IT MUST BE DISCUSSED

It's so empowering I'm PUMPED like every time I hear it I have to get up and run around like I'm the one performing or making a music video

"Peo.ple always say, Life is full of choices, but no one ever mentions. fear..."

"Home. Love. Faaaamily. There was once a time I must have had them tooooo... Hoooooome, loooooove, faaaamily! I will never be complete until I find youuuuuu!" (Brb crying)

THE ENTIRE LAST STANZA. EXCUSE ME WHILE I KEEP SCREAMING ABOUT THIS.

Christy's voice in "THINGS MY HEART STILL NEEDS TO KNOOOOOW!"

"YES!!! LET THIS BE A SIIIIIGN!! LET THIS ROOOAD BE MINE!! LET IT LEEEAD ME TO MY PAAAAAAAAAAAST!!! AAAND BRING ME HOOOOME!! aaaaAAAAAT LAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAST!!!!!"

AKFKFINGSG SF,F SHES SO TALENTED THAT LAST NOTE OMG

I'm always out of breath when this song is over lol

Paris Holds the Key always pumps me up omg

"Everything is is avant-garde, or chic!"

Dmitry's part tho...

"There's hope in the aaaair!"

The one and only thing I'm kinda bummed about is that they didn't include that one part from the original where everyone is singing in the final chorus and then it's just dmitry singing "toooo... Herrrr...." and then the ensemble finishes it off. Idk it's so heartbreaking but that's probably my favorite part from the original song and I'm kinda sad they cut that bit (but it's ok bc DEREK)

Crossing A Bridge is VERY underrated too omg

The orchestral part is beautiful and again CHRISTY'S VOICE

"Halfway between where I've been, and where I'm goiiing..."

"Me on the left bank, you on the riiiight!" And then Her voice at "every light is like a promise.."

I love how the middle it's kinda loud and emotional but it ends really soft and quiet

Watching Christy's "Royal Misfits" vlog made me love Mary Beth Peil bc she kinda reminds me of my Nanna, so Close the Door broke my heart a little

I love the mood of Land of Yesterday bc they're complaining that they're no longer rich lol and Lily's like "well we're not dead now!" And my favorite: "RUSSIAAAAAA!!!"

IN A CROWD!!! OF THOUSANDS!!!! I SOB EVERY TIME I LISTEN TO IT. The chemistry btwn Christy and Derek is magical (I mean I haven't seen them but) I can hear them smiling and their harmonizing is just... good lord. And the tension is so real

"You're making me feel I was there too." "Maybe you were, make it part of your story"

I love that you can hear the shift in Christy's voice from playful and humorous to a dawning, frightening realization ("and I tried not to smile, but I smiiiiled... and then... heeeee bowwwwed...!!!!!" "Um, I didn't tell you that" "You didn't have to!! I remember!!!!" And then a heavy pause)

"With the sun in my eyes you were gone... but I knew, even then, in a crowd of thousands... I'll find you... aaaagaaaaain....." AIGFHGKVNID THEY FOUND EACH OTHER EXCUSE ME WHILE I GO CRY

"Your highness..." !???!???? WHAT THE HECK IS HAPPENING TO MY HEART

Meant to Be is beautiful (especially the orchestra) but I'm gonna skip to QUARTET AT THE BALLET. BC HONESTLY ITS ONE OF MY FAVORITES. The striiiings....

"My past and my future so neeeeear..." and then Dmitry breaking my heart again with "next to me this frightened girl, holding tight as the dancers whirl"

The whole part where Dmitry and Gleb are singing together omgggg "ITS FATE!! THAT BROUGHT US HEEEEERE"

And don't! Get me started on the part where they're all singing together it's so intENSE it's honestly one of my favorite parts from the whole musical. And!! DMITRY'S PART OMG HE REPRISES JOURNEY TO THE PAST "hooome, looove, faaaamily.... she will have all of it!! I will help her..." AKFJOND HE KEEPS BREAKING MY HEART HE LOVES HER SO MUCH #OTP

"Find a wayyyyy.... ANASAAAAAAASIAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!"

Again Dmitry just loves her... Everything to Win messes with my heart. "I didn't know, she mattered to meee... but now I can see, she doooeees..." (and later Anya says the same thing omg what kind of romantic crap is this, "conman and princess get their wish and fairytales come truuuue!" *clenches fist*) and "with everything to win, the only thing I lose... is youuuuuu..." :(

I love how Gleb interrupts Anya's pining for dramaaaaaaa. "If you really are Anastasia do you think history wants you to have lived??" "YES, why don't you!?"

"All but one. Finish it, I am my father's daughter." "AND I AM MY FATHER'S SON!" ( I can actually hear Anya standing with her chin held high staring at him straight in the eyes, a challenge, a dare) and a gun clicks and omg my heart started racing

"Look at their faces in mine, hear their screams, see their BLOOD." ... "Do it! Do it and I will be with my parents and my brothers and sisters in that cellar in Yekaterinburg all over again!!" GOOD LORD ITS SO INTENSE

"WE HAVE A PAST TO BURYYY AAAANYAAAAAAAA!!!!"... "A reVOLUTION IS A SIMPLE THING!!"

The ending is absolutely perfect... "she was a dream. A beautiful dream." And then "the case is closed. But still...." and the ENSEMBLE COMES BACK. They didn't have to go so hard, man