#they deserve trash reality tv in fact

[izzystizzys]

When the 212th collaborates with the 501st, chaos is sure to follow in their footsteps. This has been largely true of every engagement since the start of the war, in Cody’s experience. Had he even an ounce more of a rebellious streak, he might question why and whether the success rate is worth the feral instinct for mayhem his battalion and Rex’ awaken in each other - as it is, he simply fills out the after action reports and then screams into his pillow, which is hard as durasteel and doesn’t warrant the name.

Or, on some days, he steps into the training rooms to work off some nervous jitters only for his foot to catch on someone’s armoured shoulder and faceplant straight into what looks like the entirety of both battalions piled together in a massive cuddle pile.

“What”, he manages between gritted teeth, heaving himself up with one hand supported on Crys’ arm and the other planted in places that make Boil jackknife up with a strangled yelp, “the kriff is this?!”

“We’re watching the Corrie Reality Special, sir”, his own voice calls from somewhere across the room. “The 91st is passing by, so we have satellite access to the Coruscant Broadcast network for a few hours, and we couldn’t settle on a specific show -“

“- so we decided to watch them all”, Rex finishes, sheepishly, where he’s fought his way through wiggling piles, hoots and badly imitated monkey lizard noises. The thought that he shares DNA with these degenerates is enough to drive Cody to the brink of a nervous breakdown some days. “Spopcorn?”

Ah. The Corrie Reality Circuit. When Cody first heard of it, he’d thought it was a prank. Then, they were deployed to the middle of bumkriff nowhere on the edges of Midrim space edging on Outer Rim, with a connection so spotty even classified military intel only got through about half the time, and the whole idea got shelved in favour of clankers and keeping his General’s lightsaber in his General’s hand where it belonged.

Now, a gaudy, glittery monstrosity of a logo announcing a Coruscant Rotational special appears on a rigged up screen, which means one of two things: either Fox is pulling the Galaxy’s greatest long con on all of them, or he’s been murdered and replaced with an evil clone (ha!), because there are no circumstances in which he would agree to star on Coruscant Reality TV.

Cody tilts his head consideringly. Rex smiles at him sheepishly. Tilts the spopcorn bowl at him, invitingly.

“Oh, dank farrik, sit your shebs down!”, someone (Fives, probably) yells out, fed-up…ly.

Cody sits his shebs down.

“Good morning and welcome all of Coruscant to the Great Coruscant Rotational Special: Our Boys in Red Edition!”, a bright red Twi’leki man announces on the screen amidst cheerful jizz music and loud hooting from the training room. “My name is Braham Horton, and I will be your exalted host for this fine, fine late night cycle!”

“And now, gentlebeings of the metropolis, I present to you the images that have driven us all to laughter, joy, and even tears at times over these past few weeks - whodathunkit, that the CSF media project would enthrall a whole Galaxy of viewers and cause the largest recorded peaceful civil protest of all time?!”

“The sorry what now”, says Cody, suddenly thinking back to the urgent meeting General Kenobi was currently in with Generals Windu and Yoda - passing by on the Venator in orbit. “Uhm”, says Rex. Braham Horton, unfazed by the commotion he’s causing lightyears away, chatters on.

“- many hours, so we’ve compiled an introductory little best-of for you, exalted viewers! And what better best of to start off on than the hottest entry of the most explosive bombshell into the villa - please give it up for Commander Thorn and how he stole all of our hearts on Love Island!”

A garish, club-tech jingle Cody has so far only heard buzz through the walls of establishments that generally didn’t allow clones thrums through the training room, followed by what can only be described as the sort of noises spiced up banthas might make. Thorn appears on screen, more oiled up and half-naked than Cody remembers, though just as bleach-blond, hair slightly longer than regulation and smile blindingly perfect.

“I’m Commander Thorn, baseline twenty-four years humanoid - during daytime I might be the scourge of Coruscant’s criminal underworld, but at night I don’t mind playing good cop for you!” He punctuates it woth a sleazy wink and fingerblasters that have Rex honest-to-god gagging, and Cody seeing his life flash before his eyes. If Alpha-17 finds out about this…

Suddenly, Thorn’s smile drops in favour of what might almost be called a scowl on even his handsome face, and the music cuts out. “There, got your soundbyte. Can I go back now? I’m supposed to be on shift.” Indistinct, off-screen chatter and a captioned oopsie… appear in a shower of glitter. Thorn’s face does something complicated. “For HOW MANY MONTHS?!”

Cut to a montage of what Cody can only describe as beaches, oil and abs galore, Braham Horton narrates and extremely close-up shot of what Cody tries very hard not to identify as Thorn’s crotch. His own crotch, in a way. Oh no, that’s weird, stop that train of thought immediately-

“Although our favourite bombshell’s entry into the villa wasn’t without its hitches and hurdles-“, emphasized by a zoom-in on Thorn’s form in a speedo huddled away from a partying crowd of softcore-kriffing contestants on a yacht, “- as well as all know, he would soon find his place in the villa - or places, rather!”

Two crying humanoid women appear on screen, with eyeliner smudges down to their knees. A hoot goes through the room. Cody watches with a sense of impeding doom. “You slept with her after I chose to match up with you instead of Chad?! How could you!”

Thorn, still oiled up with both blasters out for the world to see, winces. “I didn’t me-“

A hysterical gasp, a camera swerve. Three more people stand by the doorway, all clutching their chests with wide eyes. A broad, green Twi’leki man raises a finger to point accusingly. “You were sleeping with them too?! I thought I was the only one!”

“Dear Force”, Cody murmurs, unable to look away from the building speeder wreck on screen. Braham Horton laughs good-naturedly at his misery. “Ah, good times! And who could forget the all-out brawl of the following matching night, where a record number of every single other contestant attempted to physically fight the others for the right to match up with Commander Thorn! Including a somehow returned Chad, who nearly won thanks to the element of surprise. I wish we could show the footage, but then we’d have to slap several warnings on it and probably still get taken off the air.”

“I didn’t know Corries kriffed like that!”, someone (Fives, let’s be honest, it was definitely Fives) calls out into the room, receiving snickers and a well-aimed pillow to the throat for his trouble. He goes down with a choking scream.

“Someone who was less impressed by the hot’n bothered beach weather was Commander Thire, who found himself Less than Impressed by his co-contestants inability to keep it in their pants on Too Hot To Handle!”

Thire’s face, identical to Thorn’s in every way except the ones that matter, appears on screen. His black hair is cut in a cropped mohawk, arms folded over a button-up he’s carefully pieced together with… safety pins? Where are the buttons on it?

“These people are pathological and pathetic and I will spend not a second longer on this farce of an attempt at ‘entertainment show’”, says Thire, air-quotes so sharp they could cut stone. His scowl might be permanently etched into his face, Cody can’t tell. “Unlike literally everyone else, I have an actual job to do. Now move.”

A brief pause, in which cheerful jizz music plays over what is obviously a producer begging off-camera, followed by an eyeroll so hard it hurts Cody’s brain to watch. Thire throws his hands into the air in defeat, marching off into the sea behind him still fully clothed.

“When they didn’t find him until the last episode, I’ll admit, I thought he’d died too!”, Braham Horton cuts in cheerfully. “But would you look at his little lonely island lair - now that’s a fulfilled man, and too many coconuts for my taste! We’ve had to blur his hands out as he discovered the cameras just moments before these holos were taken, unfortunately. And, dear viewer, who could forget this exit-interview for the ages!”

A considerably more clothed Thire appears on screen, eyeing a microphone like he’s about to use it to stab out his own eyes. The reporter clears their throat in audible anxiety. “C-commander, how would you describe your reality experience in one word?”

“Demeaning”, says Thire, blandly.

Silence.

“Um, o-okay”, squeaks the reporter.

“Would you like some more words?”, asks a dead-eyed Thire.

“No, um, I think - I think we’re alright.”

“Because I have many words. Mostly for whoever the *bleep* thought this was a *bleep* good idea, and *bleeeeeeee-*”

“We’ve had to censor most of the Commander’s on-screen appearance, dear viewer, for your sensibilities”, says Braham Horton, eternally and painfully cheerful. “And speaking of sensibilities, who could forget Commander Stone honouring his name in several challenges on ‘I’m A Holostar - Get Me Out Of Here!’”

Soulful violin music fills the gym, overlaid with images of a bald vod Cody surmises must be Stone. Stone stares stonily into the void, glass of bright green something raised to his lips and already half-empty.

“Memorably, he downed a pint of acklay urine within seconds-“

Horrified screams are followed by an image of Stone chewing, yet another thousand-klick stare.

“- or when he ate Tauntaun anus -“

Rex doubles over gagging, and Cody slowly puts his handful of Spopcorn back down.

“- of course the ten minute worm-bath challenge cannot go unmentioned -“

“FORCE PLEASE NO!”, screams someone (Echo) tearfully. Commander Stone, buried to the chin in wiggling orange worms, looks less impressed.

“ - and who could forget his encounter with a horde of ginntho spiders and nests of vexis snakes!”

A remote goes sailing past the screen, missing by a mile, as images of Stone with his whole arm stuck in various boxes fly past. Someone is retching. It might be Cody.

“We would show the infamous butchery challenge wherein the Commander found himself drenched in nexu guts and sandworm brains, but once again, this is family friendly programming and we are not allowed. Nevertheless, a win well-deserved. And now, please welcome the one, the only, the awe-inspiring, the unbelievable: Marshall Commander Fox!”

Another Force-awful jingle, big, blocky letters, and Cody chokes on his own spit when Fox’s scowling face appears on screen. He’s thinner, greyer and angrier than the last time they saw eachother in person. Only the last one is really a surprise.

“I am neither naked nor afraid”, says Fox, arms crossed firmly, foot tapping impatiently on the ground. “I am, however, quickly losing my patience. Explain to me again the point of spending my valuable time undressing in the middle of bum-*bleep* nowhere on the Midrim instead of doing my job as the head of planetary security in the middle of a Galaxy-wide war?”

Several beats of silence follow. Fox grows less impressed with each. Cody knows that look well. Usually, it precedes handcuffs and a cold sonic blast to the face.

“Um… you signed a contract?”, says a producer’s voice uncertainly off-screen. Fox barks out a harsh laugh. “I’m legally classified as military property, my signature holds less weight than if I’d had one of the Guard’s massiffs shit on that contract for me.”

“Ouch!”, calls Crys.

“Gettim!”, adds Longshot.

“But… don’t you sign off military documents all the time for the Senate?”, sputters the producer.

Fox smiles with far to many teeth. It’s also a look Cody knows far too well, and even lightyears away it has a shudder going down his spine.

“Really makes you think about the technicalities of that definitely-not-slave-army, doesn’t it?”, he says, dryly.

“Although considerably less naked and afraid than all other contestants, Commander Fox left us with many memorable moments - such as when he saved the entire crew from an angry Acklay!”

Most of the next holovid is blurred out, though Cody can (unfortunately) guess at the why and how. So can most everyone else, judging by the collective groan.

“Down, boy”, says Fox, flatly, to a hissing Acklay twice his size. It rears its fanged head, and a shudder goes through the room. Fox simply crosses his arms and nails the beast with an unimpressed look. “You are making a fool of both of us. Cut it out.”

Chastised, the Acklay blinks at him, slowly lowering itself back down with a confused hiss.

“No kriffing wonder all the Corrie shinies are such hardasses”, mutters Rex, whom Cody is hard pressed to agree with. “I came from a tube and that look gave me daddy issues.”

“Yes, dear viewer, who could forget these heart-warming moments of good, quality television!”, sighs Braham Horton, dreamily. “Not Coruscant anytime soon, that’s for sure! We are now entering the twentieth rotation of the sit-in protest of a petition to allow the Commanders of the Coruscant Guard to compete on Dancing With The Planets, Coruscant Rotational’s epic dance competition!”

“Dear bum-kriffing Force”, whispers Rex, wide-eyed and awe-struck. “Does Fox know about this?!”

Cody, who’s already dialing the kriffer’s comm-code, wipes a singular tear from his eye. “Not a clue, but kriff, am I going to enjoy telling him.”

[us-the-voices-and-more-voices-2]

us the voices recommends! shows, and movies! part 1

Larva 11/10

this show is genuinely amazing, I literally have cried multiple times it's genuinely the best show in the whole "potty humour, screaming" genre, literally if you can get past the kinda obnoxious screaming you will be treated with a wonderful show that has so much love put into it.

(most media critics are snobs, this show is awesome. embrace the silly and the cringe.)

Upload (2020) 10/10

black mirror if it was funny and wasn't anti-technology, best take on cyberpunk I've seen in a long time. if you liked black mirror but hated the doomer parts and the trash writing of some of the later seasons and episodes you will adore upload!

(I actually hate black mirror, like it's all short stories at the end of the day and I like some of them so much and others can go in a hole and die genuinely. it's the most mixed bag of a show I've ever seen, because it just kinda is such a doomer show like make up your mind on what it is!!! 4.7/10 overall and 11/10 for select short stories.)

dinosaur king (dubbed) 10/10

if you like "Pokemon" and "Digimon" you will fucking love dinosaur king, it has (for the time) accurate dinosaur facts. the VA's for jessie and James! and I think ash? appear, and it's a all round fun show! lots of dinosaurs and crying to be had!

squid girl (dubbed/subbed) 10/10

if you like anime girl, fish out of water, slice of life, funny shows you will love squid girl! many many squid puns, and general tomfoolery.

Siren: Survive the Island 11/10

a south Korean reality game show, where a bunch of women from different jobs and backgrounds compete to be the last one standing.

it's genuinely the coolest, edge of your seat show I've watched in a long time!

Physical 100 10/10

a reality game show where the top 100 south Korean sports people? compete against each other to win, it's fucking crazy and awesome and I can't believe it's a show.

Star Trek: lower decks 11/10

if you in any shape or form liked Star Trek you will fucking love lower decks! it's a love letter to Star Trek in all ways, it's extremely funny and a fresh take on the Star Trek formula!

(if you think the first ep is a bit meh, stick through it! it gets so much better)

sword art online: abridged 12/10

I have only ever watched, "sword art online: alicization" and so that was my intro to the sword art online series. but after watching the "something witty's" sword art online: abridged I can never go back. it is extremely well written, the characterisation is impeccable, it has the most realistic feel of if a whole bunch of people actually got trapped in a VR game, and is such an amazing version of the show you will wonder why you hadn't heard of it before!

the Red turtle 11/10

if you like beautiful animation, sadness, and to get your brain chemistry changed. you should check out the red turtle! it's a joint production with studio gibbli, and is so visually stunning and mesmerising you will just sob.

this movie is so amazing, and you will adore the hell out of it.

Megamind 11/10

Dreamworks cult classic film, a family movie that breaks down the superhero genre and reinvents it into a tale of redemption, grief, and rejecting what people think of you. one of the best family movies of the 2010s.

bolt 11/10

if Disney wasn't cowards we would have more of these cult classic early to late 2000s 3D movies, but they hate fun.

if you took everything anti-hollywood and a solid critic on the state of cinema and tv and threw in some animals, chucked it in a pot.

you would have this amazing film! genuinely one of the best Disney movies ever, and the fact people don't talk about it more is saddening.

treasure planet 11/10

one of the last 2D Disney movies, it bombed bad in the cinemas but it is an amazing film that deserves love.

the score is amazing, the characters are so weird and wonderful, and it evokes insane feelings.

chicken little 10/10

if you like kinda campy goofy movies about autism coded characters and sci-fi, and also animals you will adore chicken little, it's one of the weirder 2010s Disney movies. lots of fun and a good family movie.

that's all! see you next instalment!

[wearywinchester]

Safe

Dean Winchester x Reader

Summary: When a hunt goes south and you wind up taken, Dean is always there to find you.

Requested by @randomwriter1021: “Could you do a dean x reader where they are on a hunt and the reader gets kidnapped/ tortured and Dean saves her and it all ends in some fluff? I know it's kind of overused but I love it so much. (You are such a great writer and I love all you work)”

Word Count: 1.7k

Warnings: implied torture, injuries, blood, angst, guilt, fluff

There were a number of things Dean feared in his lifetime, a handful at that. They didn’t revolve around his own safety, they didn’t revolve around the materialistic things he’s got in his live. He didn’t hold himself in that high of a regard. His greatest fears revolve around the family he’s got left, the friends and loved ones he’s got left.

His greatest fears revolved around you.

When you’d gone missing on that hunt, one he didn’t even want you on in the first place, he felt as though his heart had fallen to his stomach. If it weren’t for the way it’d been hammering in his chest like it’d never had been before, if it weren’t for that grounding him to reality, he just might have lost his mind.

He went through a flurry of emotions within seconds it felt like— rage, devastation, fear, more anger. He nearly tore up the motel room in initial fury at the thought of you being alone somewhere, some grimy demon in your presence. The thought of them laying so much as a finger on you had him seeing redder than red and if Sam hadn’t brought him out of it he’d have trashed the place in a blind rage.

He was angry. Angry at himself for not arguing with you just a little bit more on staying back this time. For not sweet talking you out of it like he knew he could. He was angry at the fact that he’d let himself get so close to you, because if he hadn’t, you’d be safe. But he knew he couldn’t do that, he couldn’t put a mile between himself and you even if he tried.

You were his weakness and this is what the end result was.

That’s when the guilt flooded in, hard and fast. The very same anger that sat heavy behind the fact that he’d let his walls down and let you in had simmered there. He felt that if it wasn’t for him, you’d have a happier life, you were better off. He felt guilty, guilty and angry that he was the poster child for hunting. That just about every monster out there, yet to be killed, had his name in their mouth. Every demon knew Dean Winchester, every demon had a desired interest in Dean Winchester, stopping at absolutely nothing to track him down.

He hated that he was some novelty that every monster out there, from bad to worse, had known of him.

Maybe that’s why he fought his feelings as hard as he did. He knew that’s why. That’s why he bickered on every little thing with you since the two of you were just twenty and figuring out the true reality of the hunting world. That’s why he strived to get on your nerves just as much as you got on his. He thought maybe, just maybe if he used enough wit and sarcasm in his every word that it’d keep that barrier he fought so hard to keep from crumbling. It was a valiant attempt, but it was one that he knew was failing him.

It failed, and this is what was to come of it.

The time that had gone by was agonizing, every possibility of every fate you’d had flashing through his mind in an excruciating loop. He drove around for hours in search of abandoned buildings, leaving Sam to research possible leads in that town he’s come to hate. He wanted to leave and never come back but he wouldn’t do it until he found you. Sam couldn’t talk him into helping out with research, he knew to stop asking after the first try.

And it’s that very guilt that floods him harder than the first time when he finally finds you.

That demon was dead and gone without so much as another word out of its mouth once he knew he’s got the right house, and he was strong-willed and angry as he barreled through that house.

The moment he lays eyes on you, that feeling in his chest, the anger boils over and sears him from the inside out as he sees you slumped in that chair looking absolutely miserable. He feels he doesn’t deserve to be the reason your eyes light up in that moment. He feels he doesn’t deserve to be the cause of your relief, because if it weren’t for him, you wouldn’t be there.

The guilt is incessant, ripping him to shreds at the sight of the scarlet smearing across your cheek, a track of it having run down your forehead in a singular drip. It gnaws and preys on him at the tears in your sleeves and the scuffs in your boots, all too telling of the way you’d struggled and fought with all the venom in the world like you always did.

When he felt guilt, you felt relief.

“Dean!” You said, trying to make sense of whether or not this was reality or some sort of dream the past two days had conjured up.

He crossed the room in a matter of a few strides, quick to rid you of the rope around your wrists and ankles. You were sore, boy you were sore, having been stuck in that chair for the better part of 48 hours. You saw the worry in his eyes and the guilt filling his every move as his hand settled on your face, calloused and warm as his gaze bounced across every inch of your face as if to assure himself it was really you, that you were really there. He was awed, in a moment he’d gotten lost in as his thumb swiped over your cheek, a moment he’d been pulled from at the feeling of your arms tight around him.

“I got you, sweetheart,” he said, huffing out a sigh of relief, the weight pressing heavy on his chest having lightened up now that he knew for a fact you were okay. “I got you.”

That very feeling still ran deep, sitting heavy in his heart as he’d settled down in that motel room with you later that night. You were freshly showered, not without Dean fussing over you on the other side of the curtain, insisting on sitting on the toilet seat with a frown and crossed arms because he’ll be damned if his lets you out of his sight. Not now, at least not for a little while.

All your wounds had been tended to with the utmost of gentle care, his jaw tenser than ever as he worked with feather light touches, too afraid to cause any more pain. There were fewer than you thought and more than he’d like, something even so much as a scratch having the anger and upset bubble in his stomach.

Even after that, you still couldn’t hate him, you never would, you couldn’t hate him the way he felt he deserved.

“De, you gotta stop frowning now. For me,” you say, lifting your head from his chest to see he was in fact frowning.

He looked down at you, tired green eyes softening once he meets your gaze. “‘M not frowning.”

Your lips purse and the softest of smiles tugs at the corner of his mouth, and it’s then that you sit up a little bit more. You pretend the action doesn’t hurt as much as it does, you pretend for his sake just so you can lean up and press a kiss to his cheek. One that melts away some of that guilt and anguish that surrounded his heart. A kiss that turned to two, two turning to another as he turned his head to look at you with all the love in the world.

His sigh is soft, breath fanning warmly against your lips in a silent show of the emotions he’d felt in that very moment. His forehead pressed to yours in that moment, your nose bumping his as his eyes fluttered closed.

He knows. He knows there’s no way you could hate him even when he feels he deserves it most. He knows you’ll love him just the same as you did last week, just the same as you did when you’d first said it ten years ago. He knows you’ll love him tomorrow and the days coming after that and he can’t quite grasp how you would, but he knows.

You kiss him softly, sweetly, one that makes him melt just a little bit more as the tension in his posture loosens just a bit. That same tension in his jaw lessening when your hand settles on his cheek. It’s your laugh that has him curious, soft and sweet as he pulls back to look at you.

“What?” He says, swallowing as his own curiosity trickles in.

“You looked awfully heroic today, De, if I say so myself,” you start, “a handsome one at that.”

He chuckles softly, half humorous and half bittersweet at your words. “Sweetheart, I ain’t a hero. Hell, I’m not even the sidekick.”

“You’re my hero, Dean. Always have been,” you say, dipping back down to lay on his chest.

His smile is soft as it sits pretty on his lips, his hand running over your head and smoothing down your cheek, thumb rubbing back and forth over your skin and a pattern of comfort that puts you at ease. He refused to make you privy to just how he’d been feeling inside, even though you already knew. But he refused, because this wasn’t about him. It was about you and he didn’t want that on your shoulders.

But he was content in that moment, some chick flick on the motel tv as you tucked yourself against him. For the first time in the last two day you felt safe, the worry in his mind dissolving for now. He wouldn’t let you out of his sight, not for a little while, but this was a moment to rival all others.

He dips down and presses a kiss to your forehead, a silent I love you, the softness of his smile and the roughness of the beginnings of his stubble pressing into your skin. He was your hero, he couldn’t believe he was your hero. He’ll take it, the mere thought of it sitting contently in the forefront of his mind as the tips of his fingers smooth over your skin in a comforting loop.

You were safe.

—

Tags: @flamencodiva @stixnstripesworld @dean-is-sams-apple-pie @elegantbutedgy @humanmistakes @agalliasi @lanea-1 @campingmonkey @deandaydreaming

[shinazugawaswife]

If You Love Him - Harry Styles

This is based on the song If You Love Her by Forest Blakk

This song breaks my heart every time I listen to it, and I just thought of this idea. It honestly made me so sad to write and I really got in my feels, so I’m sorry beforehand if it’s too sad, but I’m actually really proud of it so I hope you enjoy<3 (Olivia Wilde appears in this, and it’s in no way meant negatively towards her) 

Summary: you have a hard time living without Harry, and when you find out he’s seeing someone else it breaks your heart and you write a song to his new lover

Warnings: none, it’s just sad:’(

Not my gif, so creds to the owner

You sat in front of the piano, fingers brushing the keys, just barely touching them. You've been crying all day it felt like, and now you just felt numb. You were absolutely drained of all your energy and you felt like you could fall asleep on the spot, but every time you tried closing your eyes, old memories flooded your brain a thousand miles per hour and prevented sleep from taking you with it.

You missed him, fuck you missed him so much. It was so hard just breathing without him and it felt like climbing a mountain just getting through one day without Harry beside you. You barely slept, just the thought of waking up and not seeing him in bed next to you, was enough to start a waterfall of tears streaming down your face. Every day you were in physical pain too, your stomach was in knots, your head was pounding from all the crying and your body had gotten so used to just laying in bed that your muscles had started hurting too from lack of use.

Every day was a hell to go through, but today had been the worst without a doubt. Nothing could ever compare to the feeling you'd felt when you’d checked Twitter that morning and saw rumors that Harry had found someone new. It had been all over the internet after a picture had been caught of him and someone else from the night before. Even though your brain had begged you to stop looking at the pictures and just turn off your phone, you'd spent the entire morning reading articles and fan theories. Eventually, it had hurt more than you could bear and you'd put down your phone and spent the rest of the day soaking your pillow from your unstoppable fountain of tears.

Now it was some time in the middle of the night, maybe around 3 a.m? You honestly didn't know. You hadn't touched your phone since you'd tossed it away earlier and you hadn't moved from your bed until an hour ago when you'd made your way to the piano in your living room.

One time what felt like an eternity ago, Harry had found you absolutely devasted after you thought a heavy argument with one of your close friends had led to the end of your friendship, and he'd told you: "some times emotions are easier to feel if you express them through music" and he'd made you sit down on the same piano bench you were sitting on now, listening while you wrote a song about every emotion that you'd felt. You remembered how he'd been right, that the feelings had actually been more bearable after you'd sang the words. Maybe it would work that way this time too? Honestly, at this point, you were willing to try anything to minimize the painful aching in your chest.

You'd just been staring at the piano in front of you for the last hour though, no words coming to mind that could express exactly what you were feeling. You kept thinking of Harry with this new person: was he with her right now, lying next to her in bed? Were they cuddling? Did he pull her tight to his chest while his head rested atop of hers as he'd always done with you? Were they having deep pillow talks till far into the night, like the two of you used to? Did he touch her the way he'd touched you? Did her entire body ignite whenever he kissed her, as yours had always done?

You knew who she was, Olivia Wilde, the director of the movie Harry had worked so hard on the last couple of months. You remembered the day he'd come home, so excited that he'd gotten the role in the movie, and you'd been equally as excited for him and so fucking proud. Not once had you imagined that you'd be sitting here now, while Harry was starting a new relationship with her. Was she treating him right? You fucking hoped so. Even though you wanted to hate her with your entire being, you couldn't seem to be mad at her. Maybe she was giving him what you couldn't, maybe he was happier with her. God, he deserved to be so happy.

Suddenly a thought formed in your head and the fingers that had only been lightly touching the piano keys now pressed down to make the instrument play out a soft melody.

Take it If he gives you his heart Don't you break it

Your voice was weak as it escaped from your lips. You hadn't spoken to a lot of people the past couple of weeks, having barely used your voice and you couldn't even remember the last time you'd been singing. Losing Harry had made you shy away from your passion for music and writing, too many memories.

Let your arms be a place He feels safe in He's the best thing that you'll ever have

You kept going as the words formed in your head, directing the song to Harry's new lover. Even though it brought you so much pain to see Harry with someone else, you were willing to let him go if she was for him what he needed. All you wanted was for him to be happy and complete, you wanted him to have the world and you'd never been able to give him that.

Memories started appearing in your head like flashbacks behind your closed eyelids. Memories that you and Harry had shared, memories that made you smile slightly even though it shattered your heart to know that you would never share moments like them with him again. While being with Harry, you were the happiest you'd ever been and maybe you were never gonna feel that again, but it was okay as long as he was happy.

He always has trouble Falling asleep And he likes to cuddle While under the sheets

You'd spent many long nights next to Harry in bed, running your fingers through his hair and speaking softly to help him find sleep when it had been so hard for him. He'd always told you how there was no feeling that could compare to being curled up to you in bed, holding you so close to him that you could hear his heartbeat. The most peaceful moments you'd ever experienced with him were these intimate moments where you never wanted to move out of his embrace, praying that you could just stay in his arms forever.

Reality hit you now, that those moments were long gone, but you just wished with all your heart that she would hug him just the way he loved it and that she would be there for him during those sleepless nights he had when adrenaline wouldn't stop running through his body after working too much, or whenever a storm of thoughts in his head was keeping him awake.

He loves Pop songs And dancing, and bad trash TV

Harry's taste in music had always been something else. It was so wide, almost every genre of music was presented on his playlist, but you remembered you'd been surprised when you found all the cliche pop songs on there. You knew, of course, that Harry had spent five years in a boyband, singing pop songs, but to you, he just hadn't seemed like the type to listen to Ariana Grande and Katy Perry, but you'd been so wrong.

You couldn't count how many romcoms and shitty reality shows you'd watched with Harry during your time together. He'd always found them very enjoyable, and you would be lying if you didn't enjoy the times you'd been cuddled up to him on the couch while watching Love Island and discussing all the people you voted for and all the people you absolutely couldn't stand with each other.

He loves love notes and babies And likes giving gifts

A single tear escaped your eye and ran down your cheeks at the thought of all the love notes Harry had given you in the past. After you'd started dating, you'd worn his clothes so much, just because it smelled like him. His hoddies, shirts, sweatpants, jackets, you'd stolen it all from him, you're excuse being that it was more comfortable than your own clothes. Harry had never minded though, in fact, he'd always loved to see you walk into the kitchen in his shirt in the mornings or walk out of the house in a pair of his sweatpants paired with something like a white tank top.

At some point, he started putting little notes in the pockets of his hoddies or pants, knowing you'd put the items on the next day and find the sweet notes he hid. It was just small things like I love you or have a great day, love or excited to see you tonight, but they had always melted your heart, making you love him just that more.

Has a hard time accepting A good compliment

Harry had always showered you with compliments, every chance he got, always making you smile. You'd always made sure to tell Harry what an amazing person he was and how talented he was, how beautiful his music was and how absolutely gorgeous he looked, and every single time a sweet comment like that had left your mouth, Harry had blushed slightly while looking down at his feet. He would start making excuses, saying that it was nothing special every time you were amazed by a new song he'd written, and telling you he didn't know what you were talking about every time you'd told him how good he looked.

Knowing that he'd never been good at receiving compliments, you'd made sure to attack him with them all the time, and even though he never admitted it, you knew he thought about your words with a lot of consideration, eventually, you hoped, he started believing them.

You just wanted her to keep telling him those sweet things every day because he needed to hear them.

He loves his whole family And all of his friends

You thought of Harry's family and how he'd been so proud when he'd introduced you to them for the first time. He always put his family above everyone and though he didn't see them as much as he wanted to, he made sure that they never questioned how much they meant to him.

You'd admired the relationship he had with his family, especially his mother and sister, you could just tell how much he adored them. You'd never really had a home with that kind of love. You were an only child, so no siblings, and your mother had passed away while you were still young, leading your father into years of alcoholism and depression.

You'd never felt safe and loved until you met Harry, he was your family. That was probably the hardest part for you to let go of, the feeling of safety you'd had whenever you were wrapped in his arms or from simply being in the same room as him.

He was such a giving person, never asking for much. He had a lot of friends and they all adored him, how could they not? He had this ability to make you feel so special and he was such a good listener too, giving you all his attention whenever you told him something, not letting anything distract him.

So if you're the one he lets in Take it If he gives you his heart Don't you break it Let your arms be a place He feels safe in He's the best thing that you'll ever have He'll love you If you love him

You sang, and god, the words hurt. It felt like your chest was being pried open and your heart ripped out and shredded into pieces. You had to mov eon though, for your own good. You never wanted to forget Harry, he would always have a piece of you, but this grieve that you were feeling had to decrease, you could barely live a life when it hurt so bad.

If Olivia was the one for Harry, then so be it, if she made him happy you couldn't argue. Obviously you hadn't made him as happy as he'd made you, but you hadn't realized that until he'd walked out the door and it was too late. He had let go of you and now it was time for you to do the same, you just wanted, no needed her to treat him right.

On days when It feels like the whole World might cave in Stand side by side And you'll make it He's the best thing that you'll ever have He'll love you If you love him like that

You always thought that Harry and you could get through anything, and your relationship had been put to a lot of tests throughout your time together but never had you thought that one of these obstacles would actually get the better of you.

You remembered that day so clearly. The day your whole world fell apart slowly with every step Harry took towards your front door, and it all crashed down on you when he sat down in his car and drove away without even one last glance in your direction. You hadn't talked to him after that, but still, he remained the single thing on your mind 24/7. It hurt you how quickly he had moved on, but you couldn't be mad because you felt at blame for your relationship ending in the first place.

Harry had always said that as long as you stood together, then absolutely nothing could come in the way of you two, and the only time you hadn't been side by side, that's when you fell apart. You'd always appreciated him so much, sometimes you'd thought it was impossible to care so much for another human as you cared about Harry.

Your hands started shaking a bit and you could feel the tears slowly appearing in the corner of your eyes. You would never stop caring about Harry, he had such an impact on your life, what were you supposed to do without him? God, would this pain ever stop? As you started the second verse, the tears escaped your eyes and silently ran down your cheeks.

Kiss him with passion As much as you can

You missed kissing Harry. Just his touch had been such an essential part of your day and now that you didn't get to feel that, you needed it more than anything. When you thought of it, it was as if you could still feel his lips on yours, kissing you softly.

You'd kissed a number of guys before you met Harry and you'd thought all of them had been fairly good, but that was until you kissed Harry. You'd shared your first kiss one day while you'd been chilling at Harry's and he just couldn't stop himself as you'd stood in his kitchen and looked so beautiful. You knew Harry had experience, but you remember being completely taken aback by how comfortable the kiss was. It wasn't too wet, but not entirely without his tongue roaming your mouth either. He'd grabbed your waist while your arms snaked their way around his neck, and he'd tasted good after the smoothies he'd made for the two of you earlier that day. You hadn't been able to get enough and he had seemed to have the same problem because you'd barely taken your hands off each other for the rest of the night.

Harry was a very affectionate person and he’d loved holding you, kissing you, just touching you in general. It had made you feel so loved and now where that feeling had belonged in your chest, was just emptiness. You were certain no one could ever make you feel the way Harry had, he could make your entire body feel like it was on fire just by holding your hand.

Run your hands through his hair Whenever he's sad

It wasn't often Harry had been sad in front of you, let alone cried, but it had happened a couple of times, and many times he'd come home and you'd been able to see that something was wrong, but he would deny it. It wasn't because he’d been embarrassed to be sad in front of you, but he’d often pushed it away because he didn't want to burden you. You knew him well though and you could tell the second he would walk in the door, that something was wrong. If he didn't want to talk about it, mostly you'd just put a romcom on the television and pulled him into your arms while you'd cuddled on the sofa, gently running your fingers through his soft curls. You would do anything to brush your fingers through his hair right now...

And when he doesn't notice How amazing he is Tell him over and over

So he never forgets

On the outside, Harry had always made a great effort to appear confident and independent, but when you'd managed to get to know him behind that exterior, you'd discovered that he had a bunch of his own insecurities. He always questioned if his music was good enough, if his performances were good enough, if he was a good idol, if he deserved everything he had, if he was good enough.

Once you'd found out he felt this way a lot of the time, you'd always made sure to tell him how absolutely extraordinary you thought he was. You hoped that she would tell him too, help him build a better image of himself in his head.

You managed to get through the chorus again before your feelings became too overwhelming and you had to stop. Your fingers halted on the piano while your tears had become slightly more uncontrollable.

You couldn't help but think that you were pathetic for sitting here when Harry had clearly moved on with someone else. You'd realized how much your joy had depended on him, but you had to be able to live a life without him. How could you move on when Harry had completed you though?

It was cliche, but you felt like you were missing a part of you and without Harry, you would never be able to get it back. It was like he'd been too good for you, so he had been taken away from you. You had always known you didn't deserve him, but you'd tried your very hardest to be worthy of his love, but you weren't and now someone was making you pay for those years where you'd been granted his affection without actually deserving it.

What were you supposed to do? How the fuck were you supposed to live a life when your source of happiness had been taken away from you?

With tears still in your eyes and your body shaking, you removed yourself from the piano and went back to bed, hoping that maybe tomorrow would be the day he would come knocking at your door, because moving on from him clearly wasn’t an option...

——————————————————————————

A/n: I've got a bunch of requests that's been sitting in my inbox for so long and I'm sorry I haven't gotten around to them. A bunch of them are with JJ and I just haven't been in the mood to write for him lately, I've just kinda been diving deeper and deeper into my Harry obsession (when am I not), but I'll get around to them at some point. Again I'm really sorry, school is just really stressing me out too, so I haven't been writing much at all, please don't stop requesting though<3

[spencers-dria]

Hi could you do Spencer Reid x reader spencer accidentally says something mean about reader and they hear but later spencer shows reader how much he loves them. Or same thing but there in an argument and spencer yells something like “ can you once shut up for once. But at the end he shows reader he loves them. Please and thank you and sorry this is so long.

Ps love love your work. ❤️❤️

🎉150 follower celebration Day 1!

Okay so this is my first Request I received for my 150th follower celebration from...coincidentally, my 150th follower! Thanks so much for this request. I hope I did it justice. I liked writing a little sassy Spencer!

Particularly Loquacious

Spencer x Reader

Angst and Fluff

Spencer had a habit of talking, a lot. Not just like any chatty person, but like someone who really didn’t know when to stop talking. He had been called out on this so many times it sort of fell on deaf ears after a while. He learned to tune it out and go about his business as normal. What he wasn’t used to was someone rivaling his ability to take over the conversation. He didn’t even realize what it was like for everyone else, until they came along.

They loved to talk to everyone and anyone. The problem for him was, people seemed to enjoy their company, their chatting. It usually ended up on topics he had little to no input on, and he really wasn’t used to this. Intentionally or not, Spencer had a habit for being able to steer the conversation into familiar territory. He genuinely enjoyed sharing his facts and knowledge with his friends, his teammates. But not them.

They liked to talk about the latest pop music or new movies, what was going on with celebrities, and other things that Spencer knew absolutely nothing of. He was quite used to people speaking on issues of which he had no interest, but he also didn’t mind being left out in those instances. But not with them.

Spencer wanted so very badly to join in and talk with them, to get to know them better. They seemed so very different from him in every way. He grew increasingly frustrated with himself, with his lack of social skills and pop culture knowledge. He tried his best, he really did. Magazines, trash tv, he made it minutes before giving up on any of his quests to impress them. It was this very frustration that was growing in him as he listened in on a conversation about some reality TV show he had heard them mention many times before.

They were sitting in a breakroom at the police station near the latest case. He watched as they snacked on their lunch while continuing their conversation with Derek and Emily.

“Well who do you think should have gone home?” Emily asked.

“Not her. Literally anyone but her! I mean, I figured surely she’d make it to the top three! But this is what happens when you let people vote instead of trusting the judges like every other season.”

“Will you shut up already!?”

Spencer regretted it the moment it left his mouth, even before Derek and Emily turned to look at him with shock and a bit of anger. But not them.

They looked at him with hurt as tears filled their eyes to the brim.

A quick “I’m sorry” being whispered before they rushed out of the room, wiping their cheeks as they went. Spencer couldn’t remember the last time he felt like such a jerk. He doesn’t yell at people, hardly ever. With that said there’s a great many people he feels deserved it, though he’s held back. But not them.

They did nothing wrong. The dam holding back months of frustration just happened to break right in front of them. The only reason it ever existed was because of his desire to know them more. And now he had probably ruined any chance of that ever happening.

Spencer searched until he found them tucked away in a back hallway, sitting on the ground, crying silently into their knees. He wanted to hug them, tell them how much he cares, but he holds back. He’s probably the last person they want touching them. He slides down to sit next to them, staring ahead at the wall as he finds the courage to speak.

“I’m so sorry- that wasn’t- I shouldn’t have yelled. It wasn’t about you well- actually it was but it's not what you think. I actually really love how much you talk I- I know it doesn’t seem like it. You probably think that I am the world’s biggest jackass, which would be an astute and accurate assessment. And I completely understand if you don’t want to give me any of your time but I just-”

He’s cut short, just before spiraling into a storm of anxiety and self-deprecation, but the light touch of their hand over his. He looks up to see them looking at him not with hatred, annoyance, or even hurt, but with kindness and understanding. His heart swells at the feeling of their touch for the very first time.

“Slow down, Spence. It’s okay. Take a few deep breaths, then tell me what you’re thinking.”

Spencer closes his eyes, following their instructions as he feels his rapid heart rate slow to a steady beat. When he opens his eyes, they are waiting patiently.

“I just- I uh care about you- a lot. I never know how to talk to you or what to talk to you about. I don’t know about any of that stuff you talk about with the rest of the team. I’m not up to date on the latest trends and topics in popular culture. And I know you could give a rat’s ass that Koala’s have the same fingerprints as humans or how many constellations are in the night sky. But that’s all I have to offer so I got- I got frustrated. With myself, not with you, please understand that. You did nothing wrong. I love listening to you speak your voice it’s- well it’s kinda calming ironically, considering my outburst.”

Spencer lets out a small snicker at the irony as he catches his breath, looking over to gauge their reaction.

For a moment they look as though they are lost in thought before a smile spreads over their lips, just before a small giggle escapes.

“That’s what that was about. You just wanna talk to me? I was wondering why you never joined in! Spencer I’m so sorry if I made you feel like you couldn’t talk to me.” They squeezed his hand, rubbing soft circles on the back of it with their thumb. Spencer thought his heart might leap out of his chest.

“Really?”

“Yes really! I love listening to you talk as well. You’re smart, interesting, funny. I’ve wanted to get to know you since I started. So yes, you’re a bit of a jackass, but only for making assumptions and not just talking to me about this in the first place.”

Spencer can’t help but hold back his grin as butterflies erupt in his stomach.

“I promise it won’t happen anymore. I’ll talk to you as much as you’d like. But for the record, I’m known for not being able to shut up.”

“Well you’ve been too quiet around me for months. A Spencer Reid that keeps on talking, I don’t see me ever tiring of that. Oh and one last thing before we go back-” They stand, offering him a hand to pull him up.

“How many?”

“Hmm?” He looks over at them, puzzled, as they make their way back to the breakroom.

“How many constellations in the sky?”

“Eighty-eight officially.”

“Will you show me?”

[writings-of-a-british-fangirl]

DAY 21: HOME SICK [BUCKY BARNES X READER]

february writing prompt masterlist // february prompt challenge list

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader Prompt: Homesick   Warnings: Like one swear word

A/N: Sorry this is late! All caught up now though!

You hadn't had many conversations with Bucky, you had to admit, but you did know you liked him. He was kind in the quietest of ways and he never made you feel uncomfortable. You supposed he was use to people being uncomfortable around him due to his past, however you did your best not to judge him. It wasn't his fault. Bucky had been taken and brainwashed: his actions weren't his own. That's why you tried to act around him with a softness that you were sure he wasn't use to.

         Most times when you saw him, you would both share each other's company and make nothing more than light conversations. You'd usually have some trash TV on and occasionally you'd share food with him. Every now and then you'd laugh at how dumb the reality TV stars were with Bucky, and then a comfortable silence would kick in.

         "I bet watching this shit is so different from the 40s," you laugh, before realising how insensitive it sounded, "I- Sorry, I know you don't talk about it a lot, which is fine of course, so I- I... You know what just forget I said anything."

         Bucky pauses for a moment, and you think he's going to get up and leave or simply ignore you, but then he takes a deep breath and begins to talk.

         "It is different," Bucky admits, "I... I do like some of the things that have been built since the 40s... But I miss it, sometimes. The simplicity of it all... I remember... I remember one time, it was just me and Steve as usual, and we managed to go round a neighbours that had a TV and we watched Disney cartoons for hours. It was nice... Things were far from perfect then, I know, but I do miss some of it."

          "I'm sorry to hear that. What happened to you... It wasn't fair. You didn't deserve that, no one does," you say, almost whispering, "I... It must be tough, being homesick like that."

          "You don't have to apologise," Bucky almost laughs, "It's not your fault."

          "I know," you smile back at him, "I wish I could make it better, though. Actually... I do have one idea."

          Bucky looks confused for a second as you go onto your phone and begin furiously typing; you scroll for a few minutes before smiling triumphantly and then you pause the reality TV you were watching. You press something on your phone and the screen on the TV goes blank for a second before Bucky recognises a cartoon being played on the TV. He smiles.

           "These were some released in the 40s," you explain before sitting closer to Bucky, and showing him your phone screen, "Though you can look through some more if you don't remember those ones."

           He can't help but feel a little emotional at your act of kindness. Bucky knows he isn't always the best company but he enjoys yours more than anyone else's because you treat him so normally. The fact you're doing so much to help him, especially since you're being so thoughtful, make him like you all that bit more. For a while Sam had been teasing him about how infatuated he was with you; he hated to admit Sam was right, but he did feel himself falling for you.

           Bucky hadn't felt this way in literal decades, and part of it scared him... But, another part wanted him to jump head first. You deserved someone who loved you unconditionally, and maybe one day he could be that for you. Until then, Bucky would enjoy your company.

           "That one looks familiar," Bucky says, pointing at one of the videos.

           Your smile was radiant, "That one is it!"

           You play the cartoon, and remain sitting close to him, just happy to be in his company..

[ffakc]

Ice Cream - a Jeffrey Dean Morgan fanfiction

@negans-attagirl @iluvneganandjamie @happysgal

I heave a heavy sigh and crash into the couch. I saw Jeff’s truck in the driveway, but I didn’t see him. He must be out in the pasture. I bury my head into my hands and scream.

“Baby?” Jeff comes out of the bathroom and wipes his face with a rag. “Baby, tell me. What’s wrong?” I pop a few ibuprofen and kiss my husband. He sits next to me and pulls me against him.

“This job will be the death of me, I swear. I hate being the go to person for everything.” I hold up my thumb and forefinger, “I’m THIS close to quitting.” Tears welled up in my eyes and I bury my face in Jeff’s neck.

“Baby girl, shh. It’s okay, Daddy’s

here. I love you,” Jeff hushes me softly as if he’s rocking a baby. “Where’s your phone?” Jeff kisses my forehead and reaches for my bag. “Daddy’s heart hurts seeing you like this.”

“What are you doing?” I gasp. Jeff pulls up my boss’ number. “Jeffr-!” I stare at him as the phone rings.

“You’re not calling in for tomorrow, are you?” my boss answers with her signature fake laugh.

“Hey, it’s Jeff. Jeff Morgan.”

“Umm. Yeah! Hi there!” my boss chuckles nervously.

“My wife quits. Do you have any idea how helpless a husband feels when his wife comes home crying because she’s sick of being taken advantage of? She does so damn much for you and you straight up laugh in her face when she asks for a raise. Ridiculous, absolutely ridiculous.”

“Jeff, I-“

“I don’t want to hear it! She’s wanted to tell you exactly this for so long! I can’t remember a single time my wife didn’t come through for you!” my husband was livid.

“I’ve never had a husband call for his wife before. This is new one,” Belinda retorts.

“You’re lucky I don’t rip you a new one! You can mess with me all you want, but mess with my wife? I don’t tolerate that. She’s done! Do you hear me? DONE!” Jeff raised his voice.

“Jeffrey!” I whisper through gritted teeth. Jeff was saying to my boss what I only dreamed of telling that manipulative woman. Everyone always asked why I still have my day job despite being with a famous actor, and I get it. Except for the fact I didn’t want Jeff to think that’s why I was with him. He always tells me, “I’ve got this,” but I don’t want him to feel like he has to support me.

“Well, okay then! Tell your wife it’s been a pleasure!”

“Will do,” Jeff handed me the phone, “That felt good.”

“I want to smack you and kiss you all at the same time!” I laugh and hug him close. “You said everything I wanted to say today.” Jeff chuckles and pets my hair, kissing the top of my head.

“They don’t deserve someone like you. Hell, remember when you asked for the week of our honeymoon off and she had a fit? That’s what tipped me off that she was a terrible person.”

“For fucking real,” I roll my eyes and wipe my tears away. “Thank you for telling her off. She needed to hear that. I feel like we should celebrate or something!”

“Well, I did just buy some ice cream while grocery shopping!”

“That sounds so good right now.”

Jeff gets up and walks to the kitchen and I go to the bedroom to change out of my work clothes for the last time. He scoops two heaping bowls of s’mores ice cream. I wrap my arms around his waist and kiss his shoulders.

“This’ll be our dinner,” I tease.

“Fine by me. I had a big lunch with Bubba,” Jeff smiles, referencing his best friend Norman. We settle into the couch and Jeff turns on one of my favorite medical shows. “Trash reality TV makes everything better! Holy smokes, look at that guy’s legs!” Jeff fake gags.

“Would you judge me if I said I’ve seen this episode? I hate myself,” I joke.

“You’re fucking disgusting,” Jeff bursts out laughing.

“You should know me by now! This is the one guy who’s always screaming any time the paramedics put a hand on him. God, I am gross, huh?” Jeff playfully rolls his eyes and stirs the ice cream in his dish.

“Yeah you are,” Jeff laughs. “Call me a horn-dog, but all I can think about is wanting to lick this ice cream off your body,” Jeff gives me a seductive glare.

“You’re so bad.”

“You love it. Come here, honey.” I set my bowl on the coffee table and climb on my silver fox’s lap. He pulls at my loose fitting v neck and spoons the cold liquid onto me. The cold sensation is quickly overtaken by his warm tongue and soft lips. I tug his hair.

“Daddy loves his sweet girl more than anything,” Jeff plants deep kisses in my chest. “Daddy loves making his baby feel so damn good. Daddy wants to make his little princess make a mess on the couch with his fingers.” I whimper with delight. “Daddy loves watching you squirm, baby doll.”

“Please,” I beg and rock against Jeff’s thigh, soaking through my underwear.

“Look at you, doll. You want it bad, don’t you? Maybe I don’t want to give it to you yet,” Jeff licks more ice cream off my neck. His grip on my leg and hot, wet mouth is intoxicating.

“I can hardly stand it, babe,” I whisper against his lips as he pulls me into a kiss.

“I’m going to devour that kitty. Slip those panties off, sweetheart.” I climb off my husband’s lap and do as I’m told. Jeff gets down off the couch and rests his knees on a pillow. He spreads my thighs open. “Look at this,” Jeff clicks his tongue. “My baby girl’s absolutely drenched. Oh my,” Jeff buries his face between my thighs and allows his tongue to work its magic “Do I make your pussy ache, darlin’?” I nod and whimper. “Do you rub your little pussy when Daddy’s away and moan his name when you cum?” I nod, hardly able to catch my breath.

“All the time,” I whine.

“That’s what I like to hear,” Jeff purrs, curling his fingers, “I want to fuck you so god damn bad.” We change positions, so he’s aligned with my entrance and sinks in. I crave this fullness whenever he’s away. No amount of toys compare to my Daddy’s big cock. Jeff thrusts slow and deep, moaning with each movement of his hips. “Oh darlin’, you’re so warm and wet. God, I just love the shit out of you, baby.”

“I love you, Jeffrey. Oh god! Fuck me harder,” I whine. Jeff quickens his pace, pulling my hair back as he kisses my neck. Slick, slapping sounds fill the air as Jeff groans. “You look so beautiful when you fuck me, Daddy,” I moan. Jeff smirks and raises an eyebrow.

“I love when you stroke my eg- oh shit! Baby, I’m going to- oh my god. Jesus Christ, sweetheart!” Jeff’s eyes flutter as he spills out inside me. I pant heavily as Jeff collapses onto my chest, pulling out gently. I stroke his hair and kiss his forehead. “That was incredible.”

“You know exactly how to make me feel good, my gorgeous husband.”

“I have my ways,” Jeff smirks, planting sweet kisses on my lips. Despite being married for a year, Jeff’s kisses give me butterflies like nothing else. “I love you, sweet girl.”

“I love you too, Daddy.”

[delvine]

dabi with a youtube channel

a/n : somehow someway some demon just whispered in my ear 'yo what if dabi was a youtuber??' and here we are. gosh, i forgot how fun headcanons are, so enjoy!! warnings : mild cussing, one mild manga spoiler, that's about it

god this little shit

this man will shamelessly make youtube videos

he uploaded that video and was like: ‘making all that was kinda fun. let’s do that again, bruh’

and he honestly doesn’t give a fuck. like, yes he's a wanted criminal and what about it???

this dude's main theme for his channel according to him is commentary and critic videos

but he can barely keep up with his theme cause he just films and uploads with everything really

his channel's pattern is normally one 30 minute critic video about how the hero society sucks and deserves to burn. then just one insanely chaotic vlog with the LOV, one video where he ranks every 7/11 noodle soup and ramen. and then another 30 minute video, but about how mental any trash reality tv show is and then back to square one

i think his type of commentary is close to tom harlock, cody ko & noel miller

almost every single video of his is demonetized because...yknow? he's on some villain shit

but if it weren't for that fact, this man would make so much bank ong

almost every teenager and adolescent watches him as a guilty pleasure

if you're in a relationship with dabi as a youtuber, you really have to just ask once and you'll make a video with him one day and he just sorta knows that you’ll probably make a few more appearances on his channel

if you made at least two people laugh whether in real life or online, congratulations, you're funnier than dabi

he doesn't mind either way though, cause you’re both a lot funnier together

like you guys just make each other laugh and build up the jokes you make

the dynamic between you two while filming a video is a beautiful combination of that's cringe: you and couple's cringe: tattoo show

i can just imagine you guys watching and joking anything by tlc (extreme cheapskates, my strange addiction, etc) and truly (extreme love, love don't judge, etc)

sometimes you just come across some shit while you're scrolling through the seventh circle of hell- i mean scrolling through twitter

then you just show him like 'look at this shit' and one out of ten times, he straight up pulls out the camera cause he knows it's gonna be weird as fuck

dabi's editing skills tho

just *chef's kiss* so good

subscribers and views are a good amount. like around the 500k to 800k

dabi has no other public social media though

that's not cause of shame, it's more because of...common sense

every app is private, but somehow so many people found it and requested to follow

in the early days of his channel when a few people would request, he'd simply decline, but now he just leaves it be

in conclusion, i want to make a youtuber!lov au now

© delvine , all rights reserved

[angelicmichael]

hi! could i request some dad!jim finding out you’re pregnant (but it’s very unplanned and you both are like very young adults who are definitely not ready for something like this) but he’s very excited nonetheless? thanks! <333

A/N: hello!! Thank u for requesting this 🥺💖 hope u like it!! I tried to make it pretty fluffy but ofc theres a little angst hehe. This is basically already a given but just in case - Jim is 18+ in this.

Warnings: angst revolving around being pregnant and just.. general mentions of everything that has to do w being pregnant LOL, bit of Jim being insecure for 2 like seconds, lots of fluff

As much as you would like to claim that it was a typical Friday night; to your absolute dismay you found it was proving to be quite the opposite. Instead of enjoying the night and going out with your boyfriend like you had previously planned to do - you were curled up on your bed.. in tears.

You told yourself earlier today that by now you would've pulled your shit together; atleast enough to go see Jim at the bowling alley like you had planned but.. of course, that didn't happen. Things never seemed to go according to plan as of lately.

You currently stayed buried under far too many blankets on your bed.. not bothering to watch TV or go on your phone (going on your phone would only force you to see all of the missed messages and calls you had gotten from Jim) so - you settled on listening to the stormy weather outside your window instead. Rain battering against your glass window helped distract you from your current unwanted, rational thoughts but.. it was soothing and distracting atleast. It helped you take your mind off of the problem you were currently dealing with.. which, had to do with your current state of being.

The past couple of days you had felt odd.. to say the least. At first you merely thought you were coming down with the flu; you had all of the symptoms. Like nausea, aches and pains.. but there was also some inconsistencies that started to make you question whether it was really the flu, because you didnt have a high temperature.. And thats when you conveniently missed your period.

You knew you didn't have the fucking flu.

A pregnancy test sat on your nightstand; the box it came in was discarded on the floor amongst other.. various trash. You had taken the test hours ago; and you were right about your suspicions of your illness not being the flu. The two pink lines on the pregnancy test confirmed your previous thoughts.. and that's what prompted your episode of you staying in your bed all day.

Your first instinct was to call Jim but.. you knew you couldn't do that. There was no fucking way you were ready to let him in on what was happening. You knew that you two were both completely unprepared to be parents; for multiple reasons. You were both extremely young, neither of you had super steady jobs and.. it just wasnt the right time. That's what you kept telling yourself anyway. The more you denied what was probably going to become your reality made you feel more in control and safe than how you currently felt.

However; you still were yearning to call Jim and to tell him to come over but you also didn't want to let him in on the fact that anything was wrong. He had more than enough on his plate as it was with his chaotic family (and even calling them chaotic was a nice way of putting it).. you knew that Jim didn't deserve to deal with how you were acting right now but; you were selfish. Even though you knew Jim would be better off not knowing, you still wanted nothing more than for him to hold you and tell you everything was going to be okay.. even if it was a lie.

Your train of thought was suddenly interrupted once you heard the front door of your house unlock and click open. You immediately jolted up in your bed and pushed your blankets off of you. Attempting to smooth out your clothes as fast as possible; immediately knowing that it had to be Jim Mason. After all, only one person had a key to your house besides you..

You heard his footsteps start to grow gradually louder as he approached your room.

"(Y/n)?" Jim's voice was loud and high pitched as he called out to you.

It startled you a bit to hear how concerned he sounded, but you quickly bounced out of bed and flew to the door - opening it quickly just to find Jim a foot away.

"Jim," you breathed out with relief.

You rushed over to him and greeted him with a harsh hug. Completely disregarding how startled he looked, and instead relishing in how truly happy you felt he was finally here.. but you knew that the complications of him being in your room with you now also meant he would know of your situation in no time at all. You knew there was absolutely no way you could hide it now.. fuck.

You felt one of his hands rub up and down your back - loosely following the curvature of your spine in a soothing way. You let yourself exhale a few shaky breaths; letting the anxiety leave you with every exhale as you tried to fully relax - knowing damn well that Jim was probably going to ask you for a explanation soon. You hesitated before breaking free from his arms to speak.

"How did you know to come?" You asked; your words spoken quietly and delicately.

You and Jim locked eyes as he stared at you - his blue eyes were swarmed with confusion. He looked at you as if he didn't know the answer to the question you had just asked; almost like you had spoken in a different language entirely.

"W-what do you mean? Of course I came.. we had a date tonight and I got worried when you no showed. Is everything okay?" he stumbled on his words; alluding to the fact that he felt uncertain in himself.

You felt your stomach drop as you heard his words. Oh fuck, your date. You and Jim's date was something you had totally forgotten about after seeing your test results.. you instantly felt horrible. The feelings of guilt, anxiety and fear that started to creep into your system was too overwhelming and too much to handle all at once. You took a few steps back from him; partially retreating back into your room.. hoping he wasnt here to solely yell at you or make you feel even guiltier than you already felt. 

"Holy shit. I totally forgot, Jim. I'm so sorry," you admitted; your voice cracking.

You were aware of how your words sounded like a pathetic excuse but.. you were hoping that Jim knew you better than to think that lowly of you. You wanted to say more to help your case but you knew you couldn't.. how could you even explain this situation to him without fully explaining?

Jim slowly approached you, only just to brush past your shoulder and go into your room. He stood close to the center, turning around and seemingly examining the objects and state of your room whilst you continued to stay underneath the doorframe. Watching him in horror as every sense of yours heightened with fear of what he was really doing or thinking.. praying he wouldn't see the pregnancy test you left stupidly on your nightstand.

Your chest was aching now with the unbearable amount of anxiety your heart was infected with. Sweat was starting to grow on your skin; everything nearly moving in slow motion as you watched Jim move to look at your nightstand and then-

"Your room is a mess," he says with a chuckle.

He turns to make eye contact with you for a split second before going over to your bed. Pushing your blankets off to the side  before sitting on the edge, and patting a spot off to his left - urging you to join him.

A soft laugh finds it's way to your lips as you exhale with glee and relief.. but you still try your best to act casual and nonchalant for the time being. You walk over and sit next to him, a bit closer than you had originally intended too but Jim automatically wraps an arm around your shoulders. Coercing your body to melt right next into his.

"I miss our date, and act like the worst fucking girlfriend in the world and all you have to say is that my room is a mess?" you said with a laugh.

Jim is quiet at first, but the newfound silence isn't awkward. However, before you can avert your gaze somewhere else - he puts a finger under your chin so that you're forced to make eye contact with him.

"Dont ever say that about yourself when you know that's not true. I would never think something like that about you."

The pain that lived in your heart so vividly only moments before, struck once more. It was clear as day that he was hurt, but it wasnt by your actions. It was your words that did the damage instead.

"I'm sorry, I just.. I'm not feeling the most like myself right now," you tried your best to not clench your jaw as you spoke.

You figured that from this point forward you were going to have to chose your words very carefully.. but you also knew that Jim deserved the truth.

You started to get restless with anxiety, even with Jim's arm still around you (which had now dropped south to your waist). You gaze fell down to your hands.. the urge to just stand up and escape this inevitable conversation that you knew was going to happen was stronger than ever; but you knew that if you were going to be honest with Jim - you had to start now. It was now or never. Jim seemed to notice that you had more to say because he stayed silent, watching you as you sat with your mouth ajar - trying to find the right words.

"I'm not sorry for just missing the date earlier.. There's something else," you sorely admit.

You felt sick with anxiety as you felt Jim's arm pull away from you.

"Something else?" He spoke timidly.

He stood up; taking a few steps backwards away from you as his brows furrowed and his jaw clenched. You knew you would have to speak fast before anger completely took over him.

"Yes but.. it's not what you think," you stood up and walked over to him.

You took his hands into yours.. pretending to try to not notice how he slightly recoiled from your touch - his hands limp as you held them.

"I've been feeling really different lately.. I've been sick.. and i know it's not the flu or the cold, Jim."

As soon as your words left your mouth - it was almost as if Jim knew exactly what you meant. It was nearly impossible to try to not laugh at his reaction - seeing how his entire demeanor changed so fast. You felt his grip start to tighten on your hands. His blue eyes suddenly held so much emotion and pure joy in them.. His happiness was so infectious that you couldn't help but to smile too.

"Wait.. Your-"

"Yeah. I'm pregnant," you spoke with a giggle.

Jim fully smiled this time and let out a loud, full laugh.

"You're pregnant?? Why didn't you tell me?"

He let go of your hands and enveloped you into a tight hug. You wrapped your arms around him without any hesitation; so happy that he was taking this news greatly but.. you still couldn't help but to feel sort of unsettled  still about how unprepared you two truly were.

You broke away from the hug; and took a step back. Nervously holding your hands together as you spoke.

"I mean.. we're so young, Jim. I wasnt sure this was something you even wanted, or that you would be ready for."

"Is this something that you want? And I mean in regards to us. This is a big deal and this would mean that-" Jim's voice started to shake as he spoke.

You almost could feel his insecurity seeping through his words. You knew exactly what he was getting at - this meant that you two would essentially be settling down. Previously in your life; the idea of settling down so early fucking terrified you but.. with Jim, you would be willing to do anything. As long as he was by your side, you weren't scared and you knew you had no reason to be. Everything happened for a reason and after all.. maybe this was the perfect time for this to happen. You and Jim had been through so much thus far - you knew you both deserved to have some stability and to have something that was genuinely good for once. Although the exact details of how you would make it work were still murky; living out the rest of your life in domestic bliss really didn't seem like the worst option at the moment.. If anything, it was starting to look like the best.

You put one finger up to his lips to shush him - looking at his light blue eyes before muttering, "shut up and kiss me, Jim Mason. Of course I want you."

Your finger fell off from his lips; and your hands gently moved to his face. Before your lips had even met- you felt his hands at your back. Pulling you in closer.. closer.. and closer until the distance between you two had completely dissipated. Your lips moved together at first in a tortuously, agonizingly slow manner. It was soft and tender; yet needy. As much as you wanted things to escalate and pick up -  you thrived in the delicious slow burn that Jim was putting you through.

All fear and anxiety you had previously felt completely melted away and was replaced with utter euphoria. Every fiber of your being felt as if it was on fire; you felt like you were glowing. Your senses being completely occupied with Jim only made your feelings of contentment grow. The smell of Jim (a mixed combination of the ocean, bonfire and cigarette smoke), the taste of Jim (which tasted faintly of energy drinks along with a bit of saltiness that was reminiscent of the ocean) made you feel like you were in heaven.  The one and only coherent thought that ran through your mind was: Jim, Jim, Jim.

Your hands moved from his soft, burning cheeks to his hair, while you let your other hand drop down to his back near his shoulders. Your fingers ran through his hair; pulling a bit on a few random strands when you felt his teeth sink into your bottom lip gently.. You heard a groan expel from his throat in response to this; which only made you smile into the kiss - and then giggle which of course; unfortunately ended you and Jim's kissing escapade. You two didn't fully pull apart from eachother though. Jim took a step or two back but he chose to hold onto your hands.. refusing to let you completely escape his embrace.

"I would be lying if I were to say I wasnt nervous, you know," he said.

You hesitated for a second before swiftly leaning in and kissing the side of his mouth - choosing to stay a little closer in proximity this time when you parted. If it wasnt for him bringing it up - you would've completely forgot the conversation you two were having prior to the kiss. Your hand resided on the side of his face as you looked into his eyes.

"Its okay. I'm nervous too but.. were in this together. Me and you," you stated with a reassuring smile which Jim only mirrored. 

"That's all I need," Jim replied softly.

You knew in that exact moment that you had absolutely no reason to dwell or worry about the future when you had someone like Jim to rely on. Even with the future being as uncertain as it currently was; having Jim's love was really all you needed.

Jim insisted to stay over for the night; even though you tried your best to assure him you'd be fine - he didn't believe you.. and your kind of glad he didn't. You quickly realized that trying to make solid plans for the future would be for another day; for when every time you tried to speak - Jim shut you up with a kiss but you weren't complaining.. how could you, when this is what you wanted so badly? The comfort of knowing you would have Jim forever by your side was enough to let you fully relax and melt into the moment with him.. and let the future become something that you could have dreams about later.

Taglist: @michaellangdonstanaccount @langdonsexual @jimmason @blakescoven @dark-mei-rose @9layerdevilfoodcake @prophecy-is-inevitable @matildaofoz @beautyiswithinchaos @frenchlangdon @instincts-baby @melodylangdon @littledemondani @langdons-pinkyring

Let me know if u would like to be added to the taglist :)

[bourbon-ontherocks]

(Previously, on Season 4 (re)watch...)

Long time no see, huh? I'm back from my own personal hiatus! Let's get smurfed y'all!

Dean's fluffy robe is literally the first character that appeared on screen I'm so happy!

Is junkfood for breakfast and waking up your brood pretending that you're Hannibal Lecter this show's idea of good parenting??? Does anybody have kids on this show???

I seriously can't wrap my head over the fact that they couldn't bother to give Rio fake scars but they consistently went on with the blackeye. It's just...

The way Beth and Rio are exasperating and exasperated with each other is objectively hilarious and stinks of offscreen fucking tbh.

Oh wait, Kenny's alive and doing games but he's just... no longer living in Detroit anymore????

Wait wait wait, hold on. The Paper Porcupine is within range???? While after biking three blocks it wasn't??? Do they live in the PP??? That would actually explain so much. Also, we as a fandom deserve more Rio x Dean scenes

You know what I think I liked it better when Annie was pining after Dr. Cohen. Chris/Kevin is the most forgettable character in this entire show. Also why does everyone on that show have a weird relationship with whipped cream?

Honestly, Beth has been so terrible at every job we've seen her doing for four seasons, I'm just extremely satisfied that she eventually gets fired by Dorothy, like, finally someone on this show has a faint idea of how real life works lol

OMG they're watching Love is Blind!!! Finally some trash TV that I actually know... I was very invested in the Amber x Barnett x Jessica storyline btw. Also in terms of advertising, it's quite interesting that they switched from NBC reality shows to a Netflix one this season.

Beth realizing that she owes Stan an apology but being so entitled she actually manages to make a non-apology for it is actually one of the most in-character things she's ever done. And it also reminds me Ruby's "I'm sorry" speech to sizzling-plate-prick in season 2, and not in a good way.

THE. SKINCARE/MRA/KEY JANGLERS. CULT

Honestly the best part of this episode is these random men who kneel in front of each other and grab/stroke their thighs in a very pre-blowjob fashion...

Dean pulled solid numbers this week? WHO did he sell this crap to? Like, the Bolands barely have any friends, he doesn't benefit Beth's PTA network, and who would buy skincare products from a stranger with an ankle monitor? I have SO MANY questions

The way the skincare cult leader is totally hitting on Dean just fills me with joy. Dean x being gay when???

Bleugh, Kevin blackmailing Annie into staying just made him the worst love interest this show's ever given her, and there's competition

While I saw it coming right from the start that the moving guys were saying the press couldn't fit the doorframe, I can't help thinking that it's actually miraculous that Beth is still alive and free since it apparently takes her 30 seconds to start explaining her criming to everyone. Like... wtf?

I find it very intriguing that season 1 insisted on Beth's gained independance by learning how to make the DVR work without Dean's help and generally being like "I don't need a man to do my handywork" (no pun intended) while we're witnessing the exact opposite here. Our girl couldn't pick a screwdriver herself to dismount the press, no, it has to involve freaking Dean...

This whole "let's crime happily" with the girls + Dean instead of Rio feels extremely odd tbh. Especially Dean staring at Beth making pulp, it feels like a disgusting parallel with 3.04

But also I LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE Dean's realization that Beth gets off on crime and him calling her out about this and no longer holding Rio accountable for Beth's nature.

"All this time I thought he was the problem. He's just the excuse"

Pardon me while I pass out, I don't know which ship Dean's the captain of now, but I love that bit

Annie's sarcastic "Really sucks to be you this week" is absolutely hilarious

No but seriously, everybody in this family confesses crime without even being asked to...

Every instant of this thighs ritual/keys ceremony was just priceless

Oooooh, I really like how Beth's "I can't promise you I won't miss crime but at least I'll try" is kinda foreshadowing of her eventual decision to stay in Detroit and keep criming

"Just business" she said, making sure her tits were in full display

Bonus 1: Smurf!Dean getting his MRA initiation

Bonus 2: this episode's bingo card. WE WERE SO CLOSE

[mulderist]

Five Times Mulder Got Scully Coffee, And One Time He Didn’t

MSR || 2k words || @today-in-fic

A/N: I wrote this on the fly based on a post about types of intimacy including knowing your partner’s coffee order.

1 “we leave for the very plausible state of Oregon at 8 a.m.”

It was her first assignment with Spooky Mulder; a crisp Wednesday morning in September. From the backseat she checked her boarding pass once more while the taxi arrived at Dulles International. The red-orange sunrise broke through the distinct wing-like architecture of the main terminal building. The driver idled then popped the trunk and hoisted out her carry-on letting the wheels click to the pavement. She knew she over packed. She thanked him and adjusted the strap on her leather satchel as the cab pulled into the congested river of departure drop-offs. 

The sliding doors opened with a breeze of recirculated air and she paused to let a cluster of businessmen pass by. She scanned the corridor and saw Mulder hovering near the escalators, a duffle bag at his feet. He was wearing a smart light blue shirt with a striped tie. She grinned at the fact that his dark grey suit jacket didn’t fully match his lighter dress pants. On her approach she noticed a particular boyish charm to the curl of his hair. He caught her eye and gave a wave. She quickly smiled and shifted her shoulder bag once again while she pulled her carry-on behind her.

“Good morning sunshine,” he stated while balancing two cups in a flimsy caddy, “I hope you don’t mind but I grabbed some coffee.”

“Thank you, Mulder.” She was genuinely surprised. He set the caddy down on the lid of the square trash can and pulled out a cup, handing it to her.

“How do you take it?”

“Uh, just cream and sugar.” Mulder fished around in the middle of the caddy and found her accoutrements. She slowly removed the lid and doctored up her drink. 

“Not too early for you is it?” He asked after taking a sip from his cup.

“Reminds me of residency,” she said, shaking her head with a smile and pouring a splash of cream. “The line between late night and early morning was pretty hard to differentiate at times.”

“I find it’s when I’m my most productive. However the T.V. choices leave a lot to be desired,” he said with a shrug, reaching down for his well-travelled duffle bag. He unzipped it and pulled out a folder.

“Is this my debriefing?” Scully asked.

“A little light reading for the flight,” Mulder replied, watching her tuck the documents in the pocket of her shoulder bag. “C’mon, looks like we’re at the C gates.” She followed him down the corridor and to the entrance of the shuttles.    

2 “I’ve heard the truth, Mulder. Now what I want are the answers.”

He offered to drive her home. She was exhausted but insisted she was fine. He squeezed her hand when she left to go find her car in the hospital parking deck. 

Restlessness had set in when he arrived at home. Eyes darted to his cell phone on the desk, making sure he hadn’t missed a call. She’d call if she needed to. He shuffled through a stack of files he took from the office, looking for a particular case that matched a tip from Frohike. He flipped it open and returned to the computer keyboard, adding to the paragraph he was working on. The TV droned on in the background, coffee finished its brew cycle in the tiny kitchen. 

Three taps on the door. He turned down the TV and listened then heard three more. He walked across the room and peered into the peephole then quickly flipped the lock and opened the door 

“Hi,” she began, “I’m sorry I didn’t call.” She sucked her lower lip. “I couldn’t sleep.”

“Come in,” he said stepping aside. She exhaled and slowly entered his apartment, brushing a wave of hair behind her ear. He quickly stacked his work and moved the pillows on the couch. She took a seat, fingers knitted tightly together in her lap. Her eyes closed as she climatized to his space. He gave her a minute and stepped into the kitchen. When returned she had pulled her hand away from her face, gracefully dabbing at her eye with her knuckle. He set two mugs down on the table and joined her. 

“If you want to talk..”

“I don’t,” she said curtly, not intending to sound that short with him. “Not..not yet.” Her anger was still fresh. She was a raw nerve. He pressed his lips together and was patient. He had all the time in the world for her. Another slow exhale to steady herself and she reached for a mug. Cream and sugar. Warmth from the ceramic radiated against her hand; she felt another wave ready to break. He saw the downturn and gently took the mug from her, placing it next to his. She fought so hard but reluctantly crumbled. He embraced her; a shelter from the storm.

3 “Oh I don’t know Mulder, some things are better left unexplained.”

“So tell me more about this talking doll you found,” Mulder stated. Scully swallowed her bite of food and blinked at him.

“I never said it was a talking doll, Mulder. And besides, that was weeks ago, why are you still hung up on it?” He tossed the brown end of a french fry back into the bag and licked the salt from his thumb. 

“Color me jealous.” 

She stuffed a napkin in the empty fry container and added it to the trash on the table.

“Please tell me this hasn’t kept you up at night.”

“Not more so than usual,” he said with a shrug collecting their fast food wrappers. They left the outdoor seating area and started to walk down E Street. The lunch dates were a little more frequent than before. Her remission and recovery brought them closer together. Scully didn’t want to assume he missed her when she took a well-deserved weekend to herself but Mulder was shit at hiding how clingy he could be. It was all part of the process. He tapped the back of her arm and pointed at a coffee shop window. She agreed and he held the door. The wonderful aroma of roasted beans and steamed milk hit her senses. She peeked at the bakery case as he went to place their order. Mulder soon presented her with a cafe au lait and a wink. Her lips pursed as she blew on it. His gaze shifted to the perfect “o” of her mouth complimented by a subtle glossy lip tint. He then proceeded to burn his tongue as he eagerly went to drink his Sumatra roast, snapping him back to reality.

4 “Get over here, Scully”

The lights in the office were dim. He had set-up the slideshow reel to provide visual aid to a fairly vague case detail. However the only detail he was concerned with at the moment was the taste of her lips. A hint of honey from her lip balm, the whisper of milky coffee. Their cups grew cold and lonely sitting on his desk while they turned up the heat hiding amongst the shadows. 

She was needy and pulled no punches. Hand rested firmly against his cheek as tongues danced and twisted. His stubble coarse against her fingertips. Last night at the ball field had ignited a spark. Remembering the feeling of his hands on her hips, cheek to cheek in the cool night air. His weight against her with each swing of the bat. He held her close once again; entwined together in a dark corner of the basement office.

“Remind me to bore you with slideshows more often,” he said, catching his breath. A warm smile crossed his face as he admired her. 

“Shut up, Mulder,” she said before kissing him once again.  

     5 “What if there was only one choice and all the other ones were wrong?”

Three weeks had passed. Scully discovered she was leaving small items behind; a toothbrush, a sweatshirt, a travel sized hairbrush. Evening was still the preferred time of day. Dinner, maybe a beer or a glass of wine followed by ignoring the T.V. Mulder knew just the right amount of pressure to put on the tired muscles of her neck. A rush of circulation flowed through her. She leaned back against his chest and his hands wandered followed by his lips. She loved how he tenderly nipped at her earlobe, He was hard against her lower back and she worked her advantage between his legs. Clothes were shed like new skin. He was swift to carry her from the couch into more comfortable surroundings. 

The linens held her scent, the walls held their cries. Deep and passionate. Primal. Two become one. He broke first and she was quick to chase him down. Chest heaving, muscles aching in the best way. They lay together as heart rates slowed. He traced her jawline, a thumb laid claim to her full lower lip. Lust-laden eyes blinked heavily. She decided to stay. Naked, satisfied, and loved.

Morning arrived with a deep yellow glow. She slowly shook off her slumber and reached beside her, feeling an empty bed. Her ear perked up listening for the shower but heard nothing. She slid to his side of the bed and glanced at the clock. Two hours before work. Her hand clutched the bedclothes to her chest and she heard keys hit the wood table in the other room. Mulder nudged the bedroom door open. Scully smiled and ran a hand through her hair, sitting upright. 

“Morning,” she said. He approached and kissed the top of her head. 

“I got us some coffee. Cream and sugar, of course.”

“You’re too good to me,” she said before realizing it. There was always so much unspoken between them. Affection was a given but rarely vocalized; arousal and desire usually won out. They operated well without words. She blushed and swung her legs over the edge of the bed tucking the sheet closer. 

“Hey. I wouldn’t have it any other way,” he said. 

6 “We will find him -- I have to.”

She needed an out. It was too much too fast and the fuel from her anger was on fumes. Scully dried her hands on the edge of her jacket and stormed down the corridor towards the elevator. That might have been the first time she actually threw a drink at someone. A bit dramatic but she would deal with that later, right now she needed to leave. 

   Her cell phone chirped and she promptly ignored it. The car shuddered as it idled in the parking deck, her head lay back against the headrest, a hand on her belly. She fought against an angry sob. The caller was persistent. She tried to collect herself. Another series of rings and she finally answered.

“Agent Scully? It’s Skinner.”

“Sir?”

“Where are you right now?”

“I’m on my way home. Is something the matter?” she questioned.

“You tell me,” Skinner replied with concern. She closed her eyes and slowly caressed her belly once again. He was the only one she could trust right now. He was trying to be a friend. She exhaled and asked if he could meet her in Georgetown.

Scully sat down at a familiar cafe with small outdoor tables nervously fidgeting with her phone. She didn’t want to deal with the questions, she just wanted to find him. She wanted to talk to him about what was going on and they could figure things out together. She needed to find him. Her attention shifted as a couple walked past with a friendly golden retriever. The animal bumped its nose into her leg then happily licked her hand before it’s owners chuckled and led him back down the sidewalk.

Skinner arrived and set down two cups of coffee along with a handful of sugar packets.

“I got you decaf.” he said sincerely as he took a seat, “hope that’s alright.”

“That’s fine. Thanks,” she said, reaching for the cup then removing the lid and adding half a sugar packet. Her heart ached and she was sure Skinner could see it. He was quiet, not wanting to overstep his boundaries.

“I uh, I just want you to know that I’m your ally in all of this. And if you need to talk…” he trailed off when he saw the change in her expression. She pressed her lips together.

“That means a lot, sir. Thank you.” She brushed away an errant tear and swallowed hard. They had much to discuss.

[liliesoftherain]

Hiya hun! Wondering if I could get Izuku x single mom! Reader with twin sons? Please and thank you!

A/N: It’s 5am and the ending feels rushed but I wanted to get this out so I hope you enjoy!! Thanks again for the request hun(:

Title: It’s Deku!

Pairing: Izuku Midoriya x Reader

Izuku Midoriya!:

You sighed as you finished bringing in the last of the boxes from the moving truck you rented, happy at the fact you could take a break before you started the rest of your busy day. You stared up at your new place, a nice and small little place you were to call home for now on. Just big enough for you and your boys, and speaking of the rascals,

“Alright my little stars, are you hungry?” You called out to the twins who were playing in the living room, the only other thing occupying it being the boxes you had just set there for the time being. The boys looked up at you with a grin, nodding excitedly while standing and running to each hug one of your legs.

“Yeah momma can we have pizza?”

“Yea pizza pizza!” 

They were shaking you, and with the both of them doing it they almost succeeded in making you fall over.

“Woah calm down guys, of course we can. We have to go out anyways since we don’t have food in the fridge, I’ll have to stop by the store too and pick some stuff up, and get everything unpacked..” You rubbed your temple with one hand, trying to calm the raging headache that was forming. 

The boys stopped listening after you said okay, cheering as the let go of your legs.

Both boys were the carbon copy of you, and you couldn’t have been more grateful for it, seeing as how you would have hated to have a reminder of their father every single day. The man just wasn’t someone worth remembering, why would you want to after he abandoned you and they boys? 

They deserved better than a man who didn’t want them. 

Kosuke was a lot more outgoing than his brother, and being the eldest it only made sense. He was into superheroes and action, yelling about how he was ready for his quirk to manifest so he could train and be just like his favorite hero. 

Isao was a bit more reserved and nervous in situations, but always following his big brother around with no hesitation. You are often reminded of your own childhood adventures, and you felt a sad sense of nostalgia when you realized your boys acted like your two childhood best friends. 

Izuku always used to follow Katsuki around. 

You wondered about them constantly, hoping they were alright with all the hero work they were in, Izuku especially. You two had been so close, and had lost contact when you moved away 7 years ago, leaving right after his graduation. You always kept up with his achievements on tv, cheering him on from the sidelines, but that still didn’t stop the hurt that crept in at the thought of leaving him. You never stopped feeling terrible about it, but you just couldn’t stay, you had always wanted to leave this place. 

Oh the irony of now returning to your hometown.

“Well let’s go momma we’re hungry!”

“Yeahh!”

“Okay guys, let’s go then!”

“Yay!” They shouted at the same time, running towards the front door to get their shoes on. 

You made sure they had a light jacket on as well, even if it wasn’t cold yet, you didn’t want to risk anyone getting sick. Holding both of their hands, you all decided to walk to the mall. It wasn’t that bad of a walk, the mall not being too far away from your new place. It was a bit weird being home, but it made your heart swell with happiness to see your three-year-olds taking in the sights with wide eyes. Laughing and playing on the sidewalk as they let go of your hand, choosing to be a few steps ahead of you instead. 

When you reached the mall, you made sure to hold onto them tight as you tried to navigate the place by memory. It seemed as if it hadn’t changed much, the same old shops and food courts, maybe only one or two new stores were open. You guided the kids up the escalator, and walked to your old favorite pizza place before placing your order. 

You all sat at a table and began to eat, letting the kids laugh and have their fun while you took time to relax your aching body. It was hard some days, having to do this all alone, but the bright smiles on their faces made it worth it. You’d wouldn’t trade your boys for the world.

“Momma, when do we get to go to school?” Isao asked you, chewing and talking at the same time. 

You tsk’d at him, wiping his mouth with a napkin before responding.

“You boys are almost four-”

“We get to go to school AND get our quirks when we’re four, right momma!?” Kosuke puffed out his chest and smacked it, a mouth full of food just like his brother.

“You rowdy kids, chew with your mouth closed! But yes, when your four all of that is going to happen.”

“So we’re going to get your quirk right momma?” Isao asked, while his brother just rolled his eyes at him.

“Well duh, of course we’re getting momma’s quirk dummy.”

“Be nice Kosuke,” You warned, “but you might get my quirk. It may not be exactly like mine, but it’s possible.”

“I want your par-lal-eses quirk!” Kosuke put his hand on Isao, who played along and went stiff and only moved with the tiny giggles coming from his mouth.

“Paralysis yes, I need it when I have you two running around so much.” You ruffled both of their heads before telling them to finish their food, that way they could get back and start unpacking. 

They listened for the most part, eating and playing superheroes at the same time. Your mind began to drift back to your teen years, how you’d come with your friends to this very mall and have a blast. You missed the old days sometimes, and wondered how it would have been if you hadn’t left, but if you didn’t, you wouldn’t have your sons.

“We’re done!” They spoke in sync, smiling as they put their plates together with good table manners. 

You smiled, grabbing the rest of the trash as you stood to throw it away. 

“Stay here my stars, I’ll be back.” You held all the trash in your arms and walked to the waste container on the other side of the room. 

You made sure to throw all the trash in the proper bins before setting the trays on top of the island. You grabbed a few napkins and wiped your hands, making a mental note to take the kids to the restroom to wash up before going home. You threw the used napkins away before turning around, walking back to your seat. You glanced up find the booth you were sitting in, only to pause with wide eyes of an empty table. You tried not to panic, rushing back over to see if they were hiding from you underneath, but when you looked under they weren’t there. 

Your heart was thumping wildly, snapping your head from side to side, trying to catch a glimpse of your boys. You couldn’t see them in the large crowd, and panic flooded your senses. 

“Kosuke!? Isao!!” You called out, your breathing picking up as you ran to find them.

Kosuke was bored, even though you had only been gone for two seconds, and got up from his seat.

“Kosu-nii, you should wait for momma before you get up.” Isao warned, swinging his legs as he patiently waited while watching you walk towards the trash can.

“I am waiting dummy, I’m not going anywhere-” He stopped, squinting at the crowd of people before tugging on his brothers sleeve.

“Hey Isao, doesn’t that look a lot like the top 5 hero..”

“Deku!?” 

Both boys looked at each other before rushing off, trying to catch up to their favorite hero while they still had him in their sights.

Izuku pulled his hat down farther down as he heard excited whispers, heading down the escalator to get away from the girls who were eyeing him like candy. He loved his fans, but it was his first day off in two weeks and he really just needed to get a couple of training shirts and get back to home. He just got back from a mission and he really needed a nap to replenish his strength. The Hero Public Safety Commission was getting ready to lay out the new rankings, and talk of him moving up to fourth were being tossed around, but he wasn’t sure. So he had been working more, trying to make that become a reality. 

He walked off the escalator, walking towards one of the clothing shops he had come here for and went inside. It was a larger store, and he felt better at the privacy he got inside of it, looking for more shirts in peace. However, that didn’t last for long when he felt something crash into both of his legs. 

“Ow-why did you make me run into him dummy?”

“You’re the one who made me run into him, Kosu-nii!”

Deku looked back and saw two kids on the floor, two boys who looked super alike. Their faces had caused a brief flash of your memory pass through his mind before he shook that thought away. He hadn’t seen you in years, no need to think of the painful past at a time like this.

“You kiddos okay?” He smiled, bending down to help them up.

They snapped their gaze to the man, eyes open wide and mouths on the ground. 

Izuku easily lifted them, staying crouched down to remain eye level, an easy grin on his face to help calm them down if they were upset.

“Wow..” Isao breathed out.

“It’s really you!” Kosuke finished, a grin taking over his face as he hugged the man.

Izuku almost fell back at the body as the boy flung himself into his chest, but quickly adjusted the body weight and put his right hand on the boys back.

“Kosu-nii you can’t just hug Deku like that out of nowhere!” The other boy huffed, arms crossing.

Izuku noticed he looked a little jealous and so he lifted his left arm up and smiled at him. 

“Did you want a hug too?” 

Isao didn’t need to be told twice, he quickly threw himself into Izuku’s arms as well, and this time Deku was prepared for it. 

They both pulled away, and Izuku swears there were stars in their eyes, and he held back a chuckle at how cute they were. He remembers the days where he’d look at All Might’s videos in the same fashion, they seemed to be around that age as well. 

Speaking of a younger age, Izuku glanced around and saw no one who could have been their parents in the store. Since the only other people where the workers and an elderly lady looking at blankets on the other side of the store, not paying attention to them at all.

“Wow! You’re my favoritist hero ever, Deku! Smash!” Kosuke punched the air, imitating Deku’s catchphrase.

Izuku had to hold back another laugh.

“Mine too! We always heard stories from our momma how you’re just the bestest ever!” Isao spoke, a shy smile on his face at being so close to his hero.

“You’re momma’s favoritist hero too!”

“Yeah momma always says you’re the coolest hero.”

“Well, as much as momma loves you, I’m your number one fan! I’m Kosuke!” He grinned, hands on his hips as he puffed his chest out.

“I’m Isao!”

“Well hello Isao, Kosuke, it’s good to meet you. But where’s your mom hm? Is she around here? Or your dad?” Izuku glanced out the shop windows, but didn’t see anyone waiting.

“Oh no, we left her upstairs huh. She’s going to be mad.”  Isao pouted, knuckles rubbing together in a nervous manner.

“Yea, it’s just our momma, we don’t have a dad.”

Izuku knew the feeling, his mother the only parent in his life as well. 

“Well, let’s get you back up to her okay? She must be worried!”  Deku grinned, lifting both boys in the air as they squealed in laughter.

Izuku felt his heart swell, enjoying the laughter and excited questions both boys were asking him. It was easy to pretend as he held the boys in his arms, pretend that they could be kids of his own. He was only 25 but he felt lonely, longing for a family. 

Although he knew it’d be hard, with all of his ambitions it’d be better to be single. At one point, he thought he would have someone to spend his time with, but you had left before he could make your friendship into anything more, and he learned to live with the fact that you weren’t coming back. 

As much as it pained him to do so.

“Deku, I wanna be a hero just like you,” Kosuke grinned,”But I’ll have my momma’s quirk, and one day I’ll beat you!”

“Kosu-nii you can’t beat Deku!” 

Izuku did let out a laugh this time, which caused the older boy to pout.

“You don’t believe me!? My birthday is soon, and as soon as I get my quirk I wanna fight you!” 

“Oh? Think you can take me on little man?” Izuku said, a teasing grin on his face.

“I know it! I’ll make it where you can’t move!”

“But Kosu-nii, don’t you remember the video?”

“The video?” Izuku asked.

“Yeah, the one where you had to do a bunch of stuff at school, momma said you were a, uhm…”

“He was a first year dummy! Momma showed us how you got out of that guys hold, you were like, BOOM with your fingers, and he was all AHH.” The kids were now making sound effects, telling him all about his first years U.A. Sports Festival. He felt flattered, the kids knowing so much.

He humored them, but as soon as he reached the top floor he kept a lookout.

“Hey little heroes, tell me, do you see your mom anywhere?” 

The boys looked around, trying to see if they could spot her.

“Nope.” Both boys said at the same time, and Izuku only hummed in response. 

He walked around for a little longer, before he decided he’d make a call on the malls intercom system.

“Alright boys-” He felt a jab in between his shoulder blades and his body went numb instantly.

He panicked as his grip around the boys went slack and he tried to hold onto them as he fell, but he couldn’t no matter how hard he tried. However the boys were scooped from his arms as he crumbled to the ground, unable to speak or move. He hasn’t experienced this type of total body shutdown since-

“Oh my babies are you alright!? What the hell were you doing with my kids you bastard.”

“Momma! That’s Deku!”

“Don’t be mad at him, we followed him to the store-”

“I-Izuku?”

You were looking down at him in shock, immediately setting your boys down to un-paralyze him. You didn’t realize since you were looking at him from behind, all you saw was a man holding your babies and you struck, trying to make sure they were okay.

Izuku felt like needles were pricking his skin as you touched him to release your quirk. He groaned while sitting up, coming face to face with you as you were crouched down.

“(y-y/n).. It’s really you, I-” He looked back to the boys and saw how similar they really looked to you.

“I’m so sorry Izuku I didn’t know that was you!” You apologized repeatedly, helping him stand up.

He held onto your arms before looking back at the boys, slowly letting you go. They were staring up at him, one with a smug look and the other with a look of worry.

“See, when I get momma’s quirk, I can totally kick your butt.” Kosuke boasted, and you shushed him.

“How impolite, you can’t tell people that Kosuke.” 

“If you get your mom’s quirk little man, then you will most definitely beat me.” Izuku said with a smile while he stared at you. 

Your cheeks lit up at the praise, and you took a long hard look at the boy, no man, you once knew. He was so different, and you wanted to hug him so bad.

“I missed you,” You threw your arms around him, and he hugged you back too.

His arms tightened around your waist as he buried his face into your neck. His heart thumping wildly at the notion of you in his arms.

“We got to hug him first momma.”

“Yea we did it first!”

The twins stuck their tongues out at you and Izuku let out a laugh, releasing you slowly, finding it difficult to leave your embrace.

“They’re right, they did get hugs from me first.” He teased, and you rolled your eyes in response.

“Thank you, for finding them.”

“Oh it was no problem-”

“As for you brats,” You spoke down to the boys with a stern look on your face, “What have I told you about running off? You know that’s not safe at all, I was so worried.”

“Awh but momma, we saw Deku!” 

“Yea, we had to say hi!”

“No kiddos she’s right,” Izuku crouched down to be eye level with them again, “It’s not very heroic to make you mom worried like that. Or run off when you’re not supposed to, I think you need to tell her you’re sorry.”

Both boys frowned, light tears coming to their eyes.

“We’re sorry momma.” Both boys mumbled.

You just hugged them tight, giving them a kiss on the head.

“It’s alright my stars, I’m not mad. I’m glad you’re okay. But you’re never allowed to do that again, got it?”

“Yes.”

“Good, now tell Deku thank you.” 

The boys did just that, and Izuku ruffled their hair before giving a thumbs up.

“You’re welcome!” You held back a laugh at how dorky it was, thinking back to All Might and his rambunctious ways. You smiled though, enjoying the moment. When Izuku looked up into your eyes, you felt your heart skip a beat. His eyes remained the same ones you remembered; loving, honest, full of hope and pride. 

“Well, thank you again Izuku, I’m sorry about everything. But we have to get going.”

You ignored the boys’ pouts and protests, choosing to bow your head slightly before walking away, throwing one last glance over your shoulder before giving a sad smile.

Izuku’s heart picked up the pace at the thought of you leaving again, so he caught up to and rubbed the back of his neck with a sheepish grin.

“I might as well accompany you, if you don’t mind.”

“I’d love that.”

Izuku walked you all the way back to your house, playing with and holding the kids the entire time, as they took more of his attention than you did. He didn’t mind, really enjoying how sweet they were. 

“This is us.” You stopped in front of your place, telling the kids to say goodbye. 

They were frowning harder than before, unwillingly saying their goodbyes.

“Are we ever going to see you again Deku?” Isao asked, lip pulled in a pout. 

Izuku glanced up at you before looking back down at the boy with a smile.

“Of course kiddo!”

They smiled and ran inside after you unlocked the door for them, and you turned to face the man who walked you home.

“So you’re back.” Izuku stated, and you bite your lip as you looked down.

“Yeah, back here now. I guess I couldn’t stay away.”

“Well, I’m glad then. I really missed you.” He said with a sad smile.

“I missed you too, really. I shouldn’t have waited so long to come back.”

Izuku wasn’t sure how to respond to that, knowing if he did say anything he’d be asking why you hadn’t come back sooner, so he changed the subject.

“They’re both good, cute kids. Look just like you.”

“It’s better that way.”

“How come?”

“Their uh, their dad wasn’t the best guy. Didn’t want them, and I did. Wasn’t going to,” You looked behind you to make sure they weren’t listening, lowering your voice all the same, “I was not going to get rid of my babies. And if he thinks that’s a mistake, that’s his loss.” 

“He doesn’t deserve those boys then.” Izuku agreed, and you smiled sadly at him, God how you missed him.

“Izuk-”

“(y/n) wait, I want to say something.”

“Okay, what is it?”

“Uhm, whenever you’re not busy, I’d really like for us to catch up for real. When you have the time of course. Even if you have to bring the boys I, I like their company. They’re pretty funny you know.” He laughed, shoving his hands in his pockets.

“I want nothing more.”

“Good, then it’s a date.” He blushed, looking off to the side as he fixed his hat.

You laughed, pushing his hat down over his face and listening to his whine as you did.

“A date sounds amazing, Izuku.” 

[sideblogformindtrash]

CW: Dehumanization; It as a pronoun; Self-hatred; Loss of memory; ptsd; self-harm; sleep-deprivation, kidnapping;

He isn’t at the forest. Orfeu is sure at this point. Every color twists and turns into fading shades that he can barely describe… the word opens itself to him, revealing strange pathways in weird geometry that he has no time to follow right now. It seems that the more distressed he is, the more his reality crumbles.

He burns the last cigarette on the pack… He has been smoking like mad since the day Blue was gone. It helps a little bit, but now all he can feel is the taste of the smoke. If he keeps smoking like this, he will have trouble breathing soon. But for now, it keeps him from crying.

He hasn’t slept either, and for once, he is glad. He can still keep going, despite the exhaustion. He is used to it. He can still push through and keep looking for Blue...

…Orfeu stops for a second, closing his eyes and feeling the breeze, blowing away the smoke. All he ever wanted was a family… and just when it seemed he could have one, that he could do something good… He promised to keep them safe and he failed yet again.

Maybe they were right after all. Maybe he was just a demon destined to bring misfortune into all around him. Maybe he deserved to be alone… But demon or not, he wouldn’t stop.

He put out the cigarette and stormed out of the forest, into the city, just as the sun started to rise. He had an idea.

 …Later that afternoon Blue curled up next to Alyssa’s feet. It didn’t want to, it really didn’t…. But it was so scared and alone and its chest hurt so much and it, it wanted its home back. And she was the only one there, the only person that could offer any comfort. It had spent the day covering Bonnie in tears, head against the wall, refusing to move or talk to her despite the frequent attempts.

But it couldn’t anymore and it hated that. Hated that so, so much. It felt like betraying Master and Haru, accepting care from a stranger that had taken it from them. But it couldn’t stand the way its chest was tight, the way its head pounded from crying so much and the growing hunger. It accepted more food and curled up next to her, fully wrapped on the blanket.

She offered it some popcorn… And it took. It was hungry. It rejected the food she gave it for lunch and for dinner, and, and it wasn’t sure why she was still offering, it, it should be punished for rejecting. It should be left to starve.

But it got the popcorn and she smiled, putting something on the tv.

“…You know, this reminds me of our movie nights” she smiled “…You always picked some weird trash movies… But it was always fun…”

…Blue pushed the popcorn on its mouth and licked the salt off its hands, wrapping itself further in the blanket, Bonnie on its lap. It couldn’t pay much attention to the movie. It tried to pick on some parts, but its head hurt if it tried too much, its thoughts wondering far.

Blue tried to… tried to think. The woman kept, kept insisting that it, it was someone she had met before. She kept bringing up memories, and little facts and stories and photos and things, and, and, it was all confusing for Blue. It, it wanted her to stop, to just be quiet… Because the more she talked… The more familiar everything seemed, and Blue didn’t knew who she was or what she wanted or what was happening but, but for some reason Blue knew that she had changed her curtains because they used to be yellow and now they weren’t and just that little detail was making It very very nervous.  

So the curtains were yellow and the coffee-table was moved and she had changed the TV for a bigger one and the plants were on the wrong places but Blue didn’t knew that it shouldn’t know that it didn’t want to think about it because it hurt and it was scary and it was bad bad bad bad and it it it it was just a d-d-dumb dog that should know nothing about anything but it knew that she changed the curtains and it didn’t even knew her or this place but but the rug was the same and it had a tiny stain because Blue had dropped wine on it a few years back and it iit it, how could it have dropped wine on someone’s carpet it was Never never never there and it it was bad an head hurt hurt hurt it just wanted it to stop why wouldn’t it stop this was so painful so bad it didn’t like the curtains an-

It screamed and clawed at its arm, Alyssa had jumped from the sofa and was in front of it now, trying to prevent Blue from ripping chunks of its hair. It kept screaming, not like the night before. Just. Screaming. It wanted it to stop.

“Blue? Blue??” The woman pulled it into a hug. Doing this she was also keeping his arms down, preventing it from trying to hurt itself but it kept screaming “Blue? …Cecil? Please, what are you feeling? Are you hurt? Please talk to me?”

…It broke into a sob, letting its head fall over her shoulder. She let it cry, petting its back to comfort it.

“Shhh, shh it’s okay, it’s okay…”

“…It… It doesn’t like the curtains…” it whimpered, and she looked at it funny.

“…I changed them…” She said softly, her eyebrows lifted.

“It, it knows” Blue shook its head “It shouldn’t…”

“No. This is good. I promise”

“It, it hurts. B-b-blue wants to go home” it looked pleadingly at her. It didn’t want to be here. It wasn’t supposed to be here.

“…Dear… maybe you should go to sleep. You must be tired... Would you like something to help with it?”

…Blue shakes its head. It doesn’t want anything. It pushes away from her and back into the corner it should never have left. It lightly hits its head on the wall. Doesn’t want to look around, doesn’t want to see that place… The woman places the blanket around its shoulder.

“…Wouldn’t you like to sleep on the sofa?  Please? Cecil?” She tries. Blue does not respond, hugging Bonnie and hitting its head again and again, until she forces it to stop “No. No more hitting your head. Alright? I’ll stay with you until you-“

“No” Blue shouts, pulling the blanket all over its head “P-p-please just, just leave Blue alone. Please.”

“…Alright… If you need anything…”

It whimpered loudly, curling up against the wall. She stepped back but she was still around, keeping an eye on Blue. It hated here, it hated the curtains, it wanted to go home.

  …It was getting late. He had spent the entire day getting acess and then digging into files… And he did end up figuring out some interesting stuff at least.

Blue had suffered a kidnapping attempt on the past. One person had been arrested.

The same people were also involved on a lawsuit with the pet company that trained Blue in regards to the legality of his ‘pet’ status… and although the contents of the lawsuit weren’t public… It was fucking odd that they had done it and later attempted a kidnapping.

What sealed the deal was the fact that when he found a photo… He recognized them. They were the same people who had attempted to take Blue before, at the store. Back then, he thought it was just a casual theft, someone who saw the two alone and figured it would be a good opportunity…

But no. This was way deeper than he had thought. Of course he couldn’t be sure that they were involved, but he would be willing to bet on it.

Last time… They had tried to take him off the country… And that terrified him. If they were going to try that again, he had to be fast and intercept them as soon as possible. If they were to move him out he wasn’t sure how he would follow…  He shook his head. He didn’t want to think about it. All he knew is he had to be fast, as he tried to figure out where this people lived.

He would not let Blue become one of his ghosts. He would save him. He would. Not. Stop.

@whumpropaganda @whumpzone @oofthatsgottahurt @lave-whump @lightdrinker @fanmanga1357-blog 

[i-donot-forget]

4 Days

My Candy Love - Love Life

Eric - Candy/Sucrette - Nathaniel

Words 2373

Spoilers Ep 12 - 13

So I was thinking about the days between the kiss with Eric and our date four days later, but from his perspective.

I don't speak english very well, so this is like 90% google translate

DAY 0

I ran away like a coward after what I had done, what was I thinking? How did I let it happen? But they weren't my imaginations, she reciprocated, right? The more I tried to remember the details of that slip, my mind could only think of one thing, her and the softness of her lips, steal her breath, her glassy eyes and flushed cheeks despite my misdeed, I couldn't help but smile because the reality was more delicious than anything I had imagined. 

The loneliness of my apartment took me out of my reverie, now I had to deal with the consequences of my actions, the only question was when? surely as soon as she got home she would tell him how I took advantage of the situation, maybe Nathaniel was on his way here right now to beat me up, which I deserve anyway ...

I still felt the light touch of her perfume on me and it was driving me crazy, I went to take a cold shower with the horrible sensation of hearing a knock on the door, a product of my tormented imagination. I could not think and I had no one to talk to, I was going around the place like a caged lion, I looked at the clock again helpless when I saw that even time was making fun of me, I changed with the idea that there was only one thing that could distract me now, go for a run. I was going fast, lost in my thoughts with the uncomfortable feeling that I was being followed, stopped at a traffic light I was left blank when I saw a blond guy in a white jacket on the other side of the sidewalk, I knew it was not him and even so I could not take my eyes off him until I was 100% sure, I trotted past him receiving the smoke from his cigar fully on my face, By the time I got to the other side of the street, I needed a cigarette more than I needed oxygen. 7 years in the trash, I thought as I ripped off the plastic and opened the box, that first puff was the only thing that managed to calm me down a bit and before I knew it I was on the second.

I walked home calmer or the fact that my head was spinning absorbed some of my attention but when I closed the door the adrenaline and excitement had passed, now I was on the floor, I saw the time and resigned that tonight I could not sleep I dropped into the chair in front of the table that was overflowing with reports, I opened the laptop and gave myself to the escape who had rescued me from Melissa for the last year and there I could see an e-mail from Ben that I should have checked that afternoon if I wouldn't have been in such a rush to get to a certain cafe at 8pm.

DAY 1

By the time the sun rose I could no longer bear the thought of not knowing what to expect, so I called Nathaniel against my logic and common sense, put the phone on speakerphone, and put it on the table as I clung to the wood tightly. Each ringtone fed my paranoia. I expected the worst, screams, insults, threats, at the very least, and then he answered, I stammered incoherencies until I realized that he didn't know, she hadn't told him… yet. I told him about the information Ben had sent me feeling slightly relieved, I hung up the phone calmer but not better, this secret was a time bomb and I felt like garbage. 

I froze as I tightened the doorknob, because by inertia my feet would take me straight to the Cozy Bear, like every morning before work and every afternoon at closing time, but I couldn't go back there like nothing else, I was a criminal returning to the scene of the crime simply couldn't break into her space after what had happened, not without her authorization. I walked towards the station in the company of a cigarette and for some reason I could not remember when was the last time I had done this, I was tense, distracted, I could not concentrate even on the simplest idea my mind was restless and I simply could not ignore the why, I would have to look at his face and act like every day, I had to be convincing and it felt horrible. I hesitated before entering and after crossing the entrance I stopped for a few seconds to look inside, searching quickly, I took a deep breath out of inertia thinking I still had a few minutes left.

- I am glad I am not the only one who is affected by the investigation . -

A friendly slap on my shoulder caused me an exaggerated start but Nathaniel passed by directly to the Chief's office, I saw how he stopped at the threshold, looked at me and gestured for me to enter. I explained the progress in the investigation with few details until our superior resumed the meeting, luckily without a field operation on the agenda I could keep my distance without raising suspicions. The day was eternal and tortuous but it was already after 10 o'clock at night when I went to vent to the gym, 3 hours later I was at home, another night awake.

DAY 2

-  It is the second day you arrive smelling of cigarettes instead of coffee. I believed that with age your habits would improve, not worsen. Is the wisdom of old age a myth? -

Nathaniel joked as the sound of his fists on the punching bag filled the air, I set the dumbbell I was lifting on the ground before giving him a look.

- Yes, yes, I want to see in what condition you will be when you are my age, young man. -

- But seriously, two days without coffee? That's a record, the Cozy Bear will go broke without you. -

- Yes, well I'm changing the coffee for the gym. With the whole move in I realized that I am not in such good shape. -

- Have you already adapted to your new apartment? -

- I finally have a bedside lamp so even though I don't have a TV, or real china, I was able to finish the last book you recommended. -

- Great. Did you start something new? -

- Yes, in fact I'm already halfway there... it's something different, more suspense with some science fiction. -

- Boring… -

- Whatever you say... to tell the truth... I had discussed it with... Candy. -

- Oh yeah? -

- Yes, now that I think about it... she asked me for the reference, I saved an article from the internet with several titles of the same style. -

- Would you send it to her? will you do me a favor. -

- Sure, mmmh I don't have her number. -

- My phone is in my jacket, the pass is 4444. -

- Don't you know her number by heart? -

- Mmmm no. -

Upon unlocking the screen, the background photo was like a kick in the stomach, it was her with a beaming smile, which I did not remember ever seeing, I imagine that smile is only for him. I looked for the contact, "Honey" of course ... I sent it and put the phone quickly as if it burned in my hands.

I avoided the excused lunch with an imaginary date with a divorce lawyer, I drove through the city with no clear destination, away from those streets where by any chance of life I could come across her, I parked at a gas station when it became apparent that no matter how long I was behind the wheel I would not find the right words and finally I called her, dial tone and after a few minutes, mailbox. Come on again, she must be tending the cafe after all. Second try, back to the mailbox, this is more difficult than I thought. What if she doesn't want to answer me? No, how could she know it's me, maybe she has my number. But what nonsense are you saying? Of course she doesn't have your number, let's go once again the third time's the charm. And I was defeated, after the third attempt I did not have the courage to call again and the uncertainty began to fill my head, I drove back to the station with a thousand ideas going through my head and in all of them I am the villain.

I was collapsed on the desk in my office after the afternoon meeting when the phone rang, seeing her name on the screen made my heart race, I closed the blind on the door window and I hesitated for a moment before locking with key.

- Hello, Candy? Thanks for calling me back. I think we should talk ... -

- Eric? I don’t remember giving you my number. -

Yes ... I simply continue to deceive Nath to calm this uncertainty that is killing me, I continued to accumulate crimes and although I believed that I was prepared to face the consequences, I was surprised at myself, at what I was willing to do to find out. 

- Ahem... I asked Nath for it. I told him I wanted to share the name of the book we had talked about with you but… we both know that’s not the reason. I wanted for us to talk... about what happened between us, the other night. -

- And ... You couldn't have just stopped by? On the phone, it's a bit ... -

- I agree! But I wasn't sure that you wanted to see me. Well, anyway… -

- Okay, well, you know where to find me, right? I don't close before 8, if you haven’t forgotten… -

- Well ... I'm busy today... And tomorrow. I thought…… Maybe we can get a drink together in two days? I promise, it won't take long. -

- Uh… Okey, see you after tomorrow, then! -

When she hung up I felt that the world was turning again, that everything had stopped just with her voice, in the middle of all this a part of me was glad to hear her again. Little by little the plea that had almost stuttered became clearer,she could still hate me, disown me and want me as far as possible from her life. Maybe that was what I deserved, maybe that was for the best.

That night I slept fitfully waking up with a start until dawn, a single nightmare repeated itself in a loop, she laughing in my face for having been so stupid as to believe that there was something between us, that I was mistaken her sympathy for interest and I don't know how I could even dream of her leaving him for… for someone like me.

DAY 3

Jogging accompanied by the morning dew helped me wake up after not resting, somehow a choppy night's sleep was more harmful than a sleepless night, this lack was beginning to take its toll and it was already more than evident in my face that I was not having a good day. Today I would have a little field operation, nothing more to watch in case I saw anything suspicious, although I definitely couldn't see anything if I could barely keep my eyes open.

I hadn't been able to escape lunch today and Nath had already been staring at me for a couple of minutes.

- Everything is fine? -

Hearing that question aloud I hesitated, as if I was no longer physically capable of following this lie, I thought of confessing everything to him, not just the kiss, but this forbidden feeling that I had allowed myself to cultivate, how traitorous and scoundrel I was, but then I thought about her, and how I couldn't take away from her what belonged to her by right, if someone had to be the great antagonist it was me, the only one who would have to pay for deception and lies.

- Yes ... Although I think my attempt to give up coffee for something healthier is ironically killing me, I think I'll go back to my old habits. -

- Take care Eric, I still need you around for a while, someone has to stick up for this department. -

Who would say that words could cause physical pain felt like his words were digging into my back and blocking my throat. I could only smile. Sitting alone in an incognito vehicle my mind was blank, no, not blank really an idea had been fixed in my head as a clue that appears after rereading for the tenth time ... I could not, I simply could not do that to Nath, this had all been a huge mistake, a confusing and totally out of place situation, and it had to end as soon as possible. 

That night I couldn't sleep either, I spent the hours thinking about her, saying goodbye in some way to the moments that I had collected in my memory, I had kept this absurd fantasy for too long and I couldn't continue lying to myself.

DAY 4

This morning I was calm, despite being the day of our meeting, but perhaps it was not tranquility but resignation, today the suspense ended, this story that should never have existed ended.

The hours passed quickly because I had already made a decision, if I wanted to end this forever there should be no doubt, I had to tell her absolutely everything, so when she rejects me and denies each and every one of my hopes, I could turn off that light that still wants to see her, that not even the fact that she is with someone else has been able to extinguish, it must be her and it must be brutal.

I was surprised at how quickly the orange glow of the evening began to creep in through my office window, it seemed that after all I did not really want to go to my “date”. My discouragement was turning into nervousness with each step I took, by the time I realized I was outside the cafe.

And then I saw you through the window and I smiled without being able to contain myself because only when I saw you did I realize that I missed you and that I had not liked spending so many days without seeing you and that everything even seemed a little brighter... 

Oh… Shit, I'm really screwed...

[alphinias]

103/117/25 for jiara cause I'm obsessed with them

“She’s my daughter, I can read her diary” / “She’s six, how can she scare you?” / “Aren’t you supposed to be the adult here?”

Ace Grubs was a twig of a boy with more attitude than bones in his body. JJ caught saw him pulling worms out of the ground and stabbing them through his fishhooks like he’d come out of the womb doing it, and he laughed at all of JJ’s fart jokes.

Normally, he got a kick out of the boy who came to play while his dad worked next to JJ in the shop. In fact, he reminded JJ a lot of himself. A little kid from a rougher side of town just out to have a good time, but thankfully one that came with a loving mother attached. He liked the little guy.

That is until Marley, his fucking six-year-old daughter, the light of his life, came waltzing into the living room. There was a gap-toothed grin stretched across her face and a shiny starfish clip in her hair. 

Now, this JJ wouldn’t have noticed much about. It was a starfish. Marley liked the ocean, was on the fast track to a savior complex the size of her mom’s, which made JJ’s insides stupidly warm. He liked the thought that she was taking after Kiara.

Kiara’s brows shot up from where she was bagging up her freshly cut brownies. “Sweetie. You like that clip now?” There was a hand on her hip, and JJ got the impression that he’d definitely zoned out during a fight about this at some point.

“Mhm. It makes my hair look pretty.”

“You look positively beautiful,” JJ cooed from the couch.

But then Marley’s grin widened, flashing a dimple that matched his own, and she said, “I think Ace likes when I look pretty,” and the smile fell right off of JJ’s face.

“He what?” he practically growled.

Kiara tossed him an eye roll over Marley’s head, but no further comment was made, because a loud knocking echoed from the door. “That’s Emily,” she said, tan hand looping around Marley’s elbow.

There was a conversation at the door, as per usual when Marley had a play date with one of her friends. Normally, JJ would’ve been more than thrilled to see her going to fish off the dock with her friends, that she was growing up to enjoy the same hobbies he did, but suddenly the thought of her fishing with Ace Grubs and his mom was horrible. He didn’t like it at all. In fact, he hated it.

Kiara seemed to find no problem with it. She waltzed back into the living room, her rapidly growing belly on full display when she turned around. There was some sort of pregnancy yoga routine she turned on to follow on TV, which normally would’ve given JJ ample opportunity to ogle her legs and ass from the couch.

He couldn’t even do that. 

His thumb tapped against his knee, and he wondered whether or not Ace Grubs had complimented Marley’s starfish clip before. He’d been chasing girls on the playground at Ace’s age, but the memory was significantly less amusing the more he dwelled on it.

“What time is Marley coming home?” he demanded, a little while later.

Kiara was in some type of forward position. She made a face at him from between her ankles. “Uh, six? What did you do, take a trip to Mars while I talked to Emily?”

“Didn’t hear,” he grumbled, and he heard Kiara let out a little laugh under her breath. He glared at her back.

There was a more useful way he could occupy his time. He may as well get his arsenal ready.

He wandered over to the kitchen table, one of his favorite places. A few of Marley’s things were strewn about it, including Marley’s favorite little dolphin notebook. He cast a glance at Kiara; her attention was totally on the way too flexible woman on the television, so he thumbed through the book.

The contents were unintelligible, for the most part. There were a few times Marley had practiced writing her name, and several drawings of what might have been fish. One of two blobs holding hands caught his eye. A whoosh of dread crashed into him, until he realized the drawing wasn’t in fact Marley holding hands with Ace, but one of himself and Kiara with a smaller blob between them.

A lump formed in his throat as he stared at it. The reality he was living still caught him off guard, at times.

“JJ Maybank. Is that Marley’s diary?”

JJ jumped at the sound of Kiara’s voice. She was staring at him from across the table, half glaring, half amused. “Shit! No.”

“JJ,” she urged.

JJ threw up his hands, not bothering to hide the book that flopped in his grip at the movement. “She’s my daughter. I can read her diary, thank you very much.”

“Sounds like a fast track to invasion of privacy and lack of parental child trust to me.” Kiara didn’t sound impressed. She inched her way around the table towards him.

“This is… Not that,” he said, lamely. He cleared his throat, trying and failing to look stern.

Kiara had reached his side at the table now. She leaned over his shoulder, one hand propped against it to see what he’d been looking at. He couldn’t help but breath in deeply at her proximity; no matter how many times he smelled it, her coconut scent never failed to loosen the tension in his back.

“Wanna tell me what’s going on? You’re buzzing out a little,” she said.

JJ shrugged. He wasn’t totally sure how to find the words to explain what he was feeling, or if he even really knew it, himself. “I dunno. She just… Scares me, I guess.”

He could feel Kiara’s eyes boring into the side of his face. She nudged further into him, trying to make things more playful. “Scares you? Babe. She’s six. How can she scare you?”

“Did you not hear what she said about that little Ace kid?” he finally exploded. “Sounds like a little punk.”

She cocked a brow at him. “Why? Because he has good taste?”

“No, but if he lays a finger on Marley—“

“JJ,” Kiara accused. “Aren’t you supposed to be the adult here?”

“No,” he said automatically.

“Babe,” Kiara said, softly. Her fingers drifted to the nape of his neck, twisting in his hair there, just the way that lulled him back to sleep when he woke up with a particularly terrible nightmare. “Marley’s gonna have boyfriends.”

“Or girlfriends,” he supplied helpfully. Kiara’s smile grew.

“Or girlfriends. Point is, we have to trust her. Things would’ve been a lot easier with my parents if they had just trusted me.”

JJ brushed a kiss across her forehead. It was still hard for him to believe it, sometimes, that Kiara had chosen him. Him, nothing but trash that needed to be brushed off the street to most (And sometimes even to himself. He was working on that part, though).

But if Kiara hadn’t taken a chance on him… Not only on their relationship, but on just giving him the time of day, on being his friend, he sometimes wasn’t sure where he would be. He was sure he wouldn’t like it.

He breathed a sigh into her hair, and she sunk into him. “Maybe. I’ll try.”

“Mhm.” She slid her lips across his chin. He couldn’t tell if it was another bought of pregnancy hormones, or if she was just being comforting. It was hard to tell these days.

“Can I at least sit on the porch like, cleaning some fish hooks when they come to pick her up? Because I think they deserve it.”

She snorted. Pressed against him with another kiss, a few inches lower this time. “Absolutely not.”

[paramedictk-archive]

it’s hard to put into words how much skam france has disappointed me this year but s6 is finally over and i felt like i needed to kind of... say goodbye to this shitshow and get a few things off my chest.

s3 will always hold a special place in my heart, it came into my life when i really needed it and honestly, it was their only genuinely good season from start to finish. i will always be grateful for s3 and for eliott and lucas and for all those little moments we got to see with the grew in that season as well as in s4 and s5, when they actually acted like teenagers, when they were there for each other, when actions had consequences, when subplots weren’t abandoned just after 2 clips and when they used this show to educate teenagers and give them hope... those very few moments that actually made me feel like i was watching a skam remake.

it’s hard to make peace with the fact that this remake gave us so many good moments but also managed to completely ruin this entire experience for most of us this year. i think if skam france was genuinely, consistently trash from s1 to s6 i wouldn’t be half as angry as i am right now. but truth is, it wasn’t all bad. that’s the worst thing. we’ve seen they can do better, they just chose to be lazy and use the popularity s3 gave them to churn out mediocre and half assed plots time and time again because they knew they had devoted fans who would defend them no matter what.

when s3 was airing i actually felt like they listened to us sometimes and cared about us but something changed after s4. it no longer mattered what we wanted to see or what we thought about a scene, we were simply told what we should be feeling. and that’s a huge red flag. i don’t have to be a scriptwriter or a director to know that good storytelling isn’t about throwing excuses and explanations (and then damage control pictures) at your audience. it’s about them engaging with the content you put out and bringing their own perspective to it. otherwise, what’s the point?

and you know, this isn’t even about what’s ooc and what isn’t. it’s about the people who were supposed to finally get their representation but instead ended up being too triggered by the show to continue watching it. it’s about muslim, deaf/hoh people, people dealing with addictions or self harm or eating disorders speaking out only to be silenced by david and his fans just because their opinions weren’t always supportive and positive. it’s about us saying that they should have never used sexual or domestic abuse for shock value and then being told to shut up because a few pacifists in this fandom seem to think we’re ruining the show for them this way. it’s about david and niels flat out lying to us and promising so many things in order to get us to watch s6. it’s about being disrespected by the creators of your favourite tv show so badly that you end up having to distance yourself from it and the fandom. you obviously can’t please everyone, but the least you can do is listen to the people whose stories you’re trying to tell.

i obviously can’t tell any of this to david even though i wish i could. not because i want to rub it in or prove that i’m right, i just simply want him to know how much his childishness hurt the very people who once fought so hard to get his show renewed for him. i can’t tell him any of this because he would never read my messages since i’m not one of his certified bootlickers singing his praises all the time. because he blocked one of my insta accounts last week for a comment i posted under one of his pictures during s5. because that’s the kind of person he is. someone who would rather hide and ignore constructive criticism and let his little fans fight his battles for him. someone who stayed quiet for weeks while said fans kept sending death threats to people. and yes, you could say he’s not responsible for other people’s actions and that’s true in a way. but when you create such an unhealthy and hostile environment within your own fandom by playing favourites and silencing anyone who has a different opinion than what is considered acceptable, you do encourage that kind of behaviour.

despite all this, i still stayed and tried to put up with all the bad writing because i cared about the grew that much, maybe even more than niels himself, it seems. i don’t have a reason to stay now. the concept of having female showrunners sounds good, sure, but i know francestvslash and i know skam france. it’s the good old bait-and-switch. during the last two seasons, they kept baiting marginalized communities to earn woke points but a season that was supposed to be about arthur’s deafness entirely got turned into some cheating fest and lola’s season was pure misery porn with wlw rep thrown in there as bait. 

david and niels leaving won’t solve this problem. francetvslash needs a reality check too. they used us to renew the show and then turned around and called us obsessive. they blocked my comments under the live because i asked them why wasn’t the sexual assault plot mentioned again. they joked about addictions. they don’t care, okay? not about us, not about giving people representation. the only thing they care about is money. so them suddenly hiring female directors and writers after they saw us complaining about the way this show treats women? bait. the same kind of bait niels and david used when they tried to throw all kinds of rep in s6 because they knew lgbt people want to see themselves represented so badly that they would watch it no matter what. i would love to be proven wrong, obviously. i want to believe the new showrunners have nothing but good intentions but their hands will obviously be tied by francetvslash to some extent. and i’m done being used by them and then being forced to settle for the bare minimum.

all in all, both s5 and s6 fell flat and were extremely disappointing. skamfr under david and niels will always remain a one hit wonder, nothing else. it’s a good thing they are leaving now because at least characters like max or sekou have the chance to be treated with respect by the new writers and directors. and i’m happy for all of you who decided to stay... i wish you guys the best. i honestly hope you guys will get the stories and the representation you’re looking for. i really do. i want to be proven wrong about francetvslash and the showrunners... but i don’t have the energy to dedicate so much of my life to this show again, not after them breaking my heart so many times. 

and i guess i’m a petty person. the grew deserved great stories too, not just lamif. arthur deserved a great season, deaf/hoh people deserved to see themselves represented, instead they were forced to watch niels disrespect noée and camille and then act like they never existed in s6. and after everything wlw have done for this show, we deserved a great season too, not to be baited like this. maya was in 18 clips out of 83 (!!!!). if niels and david didn’t want to give the grew a chance to have a good send-off, then i’m not giving this show a chance again. why would i?

anyway. i’ll stick to rewatching s3 every now and again. and i will miss the way the grew made me feel. thanks for all the good memories and let’s hope we’ll forget the bad ones soon. this is what we’ve come to.

alt er love and all that crap i guess.