#they crisscross the whole screen lol

[six-demon-bag]

after like five years of no damage, my screen protector is spiderwebbed with cracks suddenly bc i held my phone in my teeth

[vritest]

3 words

fezco x fem!reader

warning: NOT EDITED, drug use, euphoria drama idk? this kinda follows the plot but it’s very much different and i kinda added my own twist so enjoy! lol

…

it was a summer night. hot, humid, quiet. the only think that could be heard of was the slight breeze coming from your open window of your little room, as you sat in your bed. crisscrossed, holding your phone as if you were waiting for a text to come in. from maddy or cassie. you hadn’t heard from them ever since the whole nate situation. you also haven’t heard from bb, or kat. it seemed as if your only friends that you thought would have your whole back, just left you in the dust. you were left overthinking every second now. maybe it was your fault. even if you hadn’t done anything. you knew rue was the one that confronted cassie about it infront of maddy, but still you felt that weird sense of guilt you just seemed to consume like a normal thing.

truth was, your mental health had been recked. your whole friend group had been destroyed basically. now you really had nobody. that you trusted at least. you sat on your bed for a few more minutes reminiscing and thinking replaying happy memories with your friends you missed so much. you sighed looking up at your ceiling, inhaling the summer humid air and exhaling, and with repeating like a pattern. it wasn’t long until a boring sensation filled your body, which made you suddenly have the most craziest idea ever.

you wanted to get high. truth is, you didn’t get high everyday. perhaps when it was at a party and the music was blasting to your ears with the smell of sweat and dancing body’s making you wanting to try the drug, just for the sake to not feel anything even if it was just for a second. you liked it. of course not the extent that you were a drug addict, it was simply just a pleasurable thing to expirence for you.

you looked down at your phone, still in your hand. the screen turning on slowly the lock screen showing, you, kat, bb, maddy and cassie holding up the middle finger. you guys were posing on maddys bed your tounges out, you guys were happy. you were happy.

you only let out a sad smile, unlocking your phone and pressing messages. you scrolled through your contacts, occasionally passing by their names ones again, it was like you couldn’t escape it. but then there it was. rues name. ‘rue rue’.

“fuck it” you muttered. you hesitantly pressed the call button near rues name. putting your phone close to your ear biting your lip as the ring of the phone buzzed through the screen. until it suddenly stopped.

“hello?” a voice said, from the other end.

you sighed in relief.

“hey rue, i know it’s probably not the best time but um you know a few people that sell, right? i’m just feeling really fucking down right now and i need something to get my mind of everything”

you said letting everything out. you chuckled sarcastically, as you could hear rues slow breathing through the other end of the line, tapping on your phone as you waited for her to answer your question.

“yeah no i totally get it” she stopped

“i know a guy.”

…

rue had told you were this, “guy” was. apparently his name was fezco. you kinda didn’t believe someone would ever be named that. i mean sure it was a bad ass me but, it seemed a little too good to be true. at least that’s what you thought, until you stepped in to the little liquor store. a guy, who you assumed was fezco, sitting in the counter smoking a blunt calmly. his eyes slightly closing but then opening as he saw your figure walk, towards him. you placed your hands behind your back and coughed awkwardly quickly gaining his attention.

fezco grabbed his blunt, turning the other way around and placing it onto his ashtray. quirking at eyebrow up as he definitely recognized your face quickly. he’s definitely seen you before, he didn’t know why out of all people your face was so familiar, maybe it was your eyes of lips, but something was definitely a highlight to him. you were also extremely, pretty.

“hi, a friend told me you sell, just wondering how much for some pre rolls” you blurted. fezco wasn’t suprised that you came for drugs, you were just another costumer, right? that’s what he tried to convince himself at least. he didn’t know why he expected so much from you. sure you looked like an angel, a halo on top of your head and those dimples of yours standing out, but still he was suprised that’s all you said.

“for sure, gimme a minute” he muttered. getting up from the counter, starting to walk near what seemed like a little room near the refrigerators with beverages. you looked around a while. by now it seemed like fezco was whipped for you, and there was no denying that you hadnt ignored him either. you were nervous once you face his face. his gold chain dangling on his neck and his colorful polo shirt fitting his figure so nicely.

he walked out the room, as you watched him and noticed the blunts on his hand. you and him exchanged blunts and money. paying him 40 dollars which was the average price you’d pay for pre rolls.

there was a light awkward silence in between you two. as you still were in his store, lighting up the blunt there with your pink lighter. inhaling the smoke and coughing as you exhaled. fezco chuckled a bit, as he clearly noticed you didn’t smoke often, for sure, he thought.

“you don’t smoke a lot, ain’t you?” he asked. his voice deep and raspy yet suddenly bringing comfort. you chuckled awkwardly proving his theory right.

“i guess i just do it when i have a lot on my mind” you muttered softly. he bummed in understanding, but wanting to know more. you both exhaled and inhaled at the same time, the smell of weed spreading through the tiny store.

“so life’s been tuff, i’m guessin?” he asked. you nodded.

“you could say that, or you could say my friends definitely hate me”

he eyebrows furrowed.

“those ain’t real friends then” he stated. you pouted, letting out a cloud of smoke again. squinting to look at him, his blue eyes staring right at your c/e. you shrugged, brushing it off, but you knew he had a point kinda.

“i don’t know. maddy and cass are like so close to me i just can’t let them go” you said. fez eyes widened at the names. he put the puzzle pieces together, how had he not noticed? you were the girl that was always dancing with maddy, cassie kat and bb. he was snapped back to reality once there was that, silence, again.

“oh so you friends with them?” he asked.

“i don’t really know where we stand. you made a good point”

he let out a teasing grin. you smiled back leaning against the counter which he was sitting in. letting the breeze let your hair wave. fez admiring your eyes and how shiny they look, even if you were starting to squint them because of the weed hitting you already. he didn’t know why you even bothered to stay and talk to him. especially someone that would hang out with those types of people.

you never had someone that bothered to listen as well. half the time it was brushed off by your friends boys drama or whatever the fuck. you were never really payed attention, but you were to blindsided and didn’t see the truth. fezco made you come to realization. you admired him for that. even if it was just a simple conversation. no strings attached.

you looked down at your blunt. it was already small. which meant your smoke sesh was done, you were satisfied. surprisingly, you didn’t think the weed was the thing that satisfied you the most. it was definitely fez’s company, at least now you knew you you could come to when you needed to let it out, even if you two weren’t close.

“i gotta go, my moms gonna beat my ass if i’m not home by the time she told me to”

he chuckled.

“shitttt, you gon leave me like that?”

you laughed. letting out a genuine smile. which fez felt like he absolutely folded, your smile seeming like a rey of sunshine.

“thanks for letting me talk to you though” you stopped. “i enjoyed it”

“whenever you need me, you know where to find me”

your cheeks flushed red. screaming in the inside. walking backwards to leave and waving goodbye to him. your reaction automatically telling fez, you would definitely be coming more often.

…

after the cute little conversation between the two, you did what fez told you. you knew where to find him, and so you did.

every day you would come over to his liquor store. not for weed, more for fezco. just for him. every conversation you had with him was like a breath of fresh air in between all the fire that was surrounding your life. whether it be your parents divorce, or your friend drama thingy, he was there every step of it to make sure you weren’t alone. you did the exact same thing to.

“i’m planning to go to college, after senior year. maybe ucla, berkeley i don’t know. i just wanna make my parents proud” you told him. leaning against the counter. he looked at you with a fond expression, admiring your desire to go to college.

“you a smart girl. if non of them accept you, imma have to send a full ass essay explaining to them what they missed out on”

you giggled at his caring tone.

you both continued talking about, school , college other shit like that. you expressed your passion on starting your own business, definitely modeling or something. for high fashion brands. fez talked to you about why he had dropped out, you obviously understood and felt bad for him as he described his life. it seemed as if he never had a childhood, it had been taken away from him because of all the drug stuff. that’s why fez told you if he wasn’t able to go to college, you definitely could for him.

giggled and smiles were shared a bit more. ash peeked through the refrigerator, his eyes squinting and eyebrows furrowing seeing you definitely over heels for his brother. then after a few more long minutes you smiled again. genuine and fez returning that smile with a flirty grin. inside ash wanted to vomit, but he was curious of the girl he had been watching for the last weeks.

fezco walked inside the room again, sighing. ash followed his figure as he went to sit down on the chair next to ash.

“youre fucking wipped dude, it’s gross” ash said which made fez look up at his brother acting dumb. ash scoffed.

“don’t act like you don’t know what the fuck i’m talking about. you were obviously flirting with that girl” he pointed out.

“nah man i wasn’t flirting. y/ns just nice and we was.. talkin that’s it”

ash just snorted. making fezco grab a joint on the little table and lighting it up. pulling it up to his lips while he started to randomly think about, you. he wasn’t quite sure where you both were at this point in your guy’s relationship. it definitely wasn’t a just friends thing that’s for sure. it was more than that at least he felt it was. you also had that feeling too, the both of you oblivious of each others feelings leaving ash to just watch as the two fell more in love every day.

…

the days passed. you still hadn’t heard from your friends. which for some reason, started to be the last thing on to it mind. normally that’s all you’d be thinking about, stressing over to be specific, but everything’s changed. by changed, it meant the momment fezco came in to your life, and you came in to fezs.

it suprised rue when you told her about fez. basically how wipped you were for him. the tone in voice you used when you talked about him was definitely a huge clue. you’d been talking to rue more often, wether it be about fez or just random shit on your mind. you’d also been hanging out with her and fez at the store a lot often, maybe just to fuck around for a while, smoke or simply just having fezcos presence there.

you knocked on fezs front door. the rain hitting you as you tried to hold on to your sobs hoping it wouldn’t make it obvious that you were feeling like shit. your parents had had a crazy fight that night. with them both yelling at eachother, but then something that never happened, happened. they started getting violent. you didn’t know what to do at that momment. all you wanted to do was run. probably escape from everything. you didn’t think weed could help you this time.

the door cracked open. fezcos eyes meeting your sad ones as you stared down, your hair covering your face as you pulled fez into a hug you so needed right now, crying into his shoulder.

“woah woah woah” he said. you sniffed in response, looking up at him, mascara on your cheeks and your makeup smeared across your face, messy.

“is it fine if i stay here for a while?” you asked.

“of course.”

…

when you first moved in with fez it was definitely unexpected. especially for ash who was still doubting you were good enough for his brother. you could definitely tell every time he would test you. you found it cute, the way he did everything to make sure his brother was making the right choice.

he didn’t like you at first. thought you were some junkie. that wasn’t the case at all though. you were really fucking smart. probably spending most of your time just reading and writing essays and poems, in the notebook you’d had since middle school occasionally using it as a diary to let everything out.

he noticed how much you loved to take care of people, wether that be comforting fez when he came back from a really tuff day, or ash when he was feeling like shit or just really needed someone he was only 14 after all. you were pretty much always there. and eventually he understood why his brother had fallen in love with this girl.

you and fezco were both in bed. he smoked his weed as you had a book in your hands, your hair up and your glasses on concentrating on every word on the book reading it, as a cloud of smoke appeared next to you, looking over at fez who pointed the blunt your detection offering it to you, you accepted as you took it in and closed your book.

“you ever think about the life you’d have after college or some shit?” fez asked, you furrowed your eyebrows thinking about his random question wisely. you sighed.

“probably live in the city, i like the skyline. it makes me happy you know? especially the lights at night, it’s really beautiful. once my parents took me to la at night, with the palm trees and everything it was amazing” you said. even though fez had a completely different, it didn’t matter. i’m every form of way he could possibly live his life, the picture in his mind always contained you in it, there’s not a single one that doesn’t have your comforting smile on it.

“you?”

“live in a fucking farm for sure with them cows and sheep , you feel me?”

you chuckled, receiving an unexpected response.

“we’d live separately then, that would definitely suck. cant really go a day without seeing you to be honest” you said. fez looked down at you, as you made contact with him. your eyes basically shining as hard as when you first saw him at the liquor store, smoking his blunt like he was right now. it took fezco a momment to let what you said sink in.

“whatchu mean by that?”

“that i love you too much to leave you”

you finally said it. the 3 letter word that for some reason had been so hard to let out of your mouth. you looked away kinda embarrassed hoping you didn’t make it awkward all the sudden. you only could hope that tus wouldn’t ruin your relationship. you’d gotten so far, you weren’t about to mess this friendship up.

“shit, sorry that was-“

“i love you too”

…

that night everything changed. it was time you and fez stepped out of the friendzone taking a huge step forward in your relationship. you two became inseparable, literallly. your physical affection was something you two became more comfortable with.

ash noticing everything.

occasionally throwing sarcastic commentaries like “don’t fuck on the couch, jesus” or “ew” whoever you’d kiss or whatever the matter may be. but deep down ash was internally cheering being basically both of your guys number one fan, so much so he could basically start a fan account everything.

months passed quicker than usual. you started school, which meant you had to see THEM again. sure you weren’t really happy, because then everything would come back to you but at least you knew you had fez and ash on your side, your family.

every month seemed to be like it was in 2x speed. you’d been doing well in class, doing your homework on time thanks to fez laying down in your bed smoking while you rehearsed your college essay to him for the 100th time still not convinced if it felt right, but he was always telling you to not stress out that much.

“some colleges will be smart enough to accept you, others will have missing fucking braincells” he said.

you’d submitted your essay and now all you could do was wait and worry.

the school year continued to go on. you still only talked to rue, fez picked you up from school now, and you still avoided maddy and cassie. they seemed to avoid eachother as well. that was until one day after school.

you walked to the back at the school, looking for fezs car before walking to the parking lot. until you heard a voice yell your name.

“y/n! wait! please!”

you looked back to see maddy running towards you. she embraced you to a hug. your eyes widening and tightening her grip on to you. you chuckled a bit.

“i’m so so sorry, i was being a total fucking cunt” she said. you hugged her back finally. it was nice to finally have one of your childhood best friend back again. you’d waited all summer and half the year of her and finally she was back and she definitely looked healthier, you pulled away.

“you’re fine maddy, don’t be sorry. i should’ve put in the effort to make sure you were okay as well”

she shook her head disagreeing. you turned back at saw fezcos car, maddy looked at you and then at fezco, widening her mouth as she got an idea of what was going on. you hadn’t told her about fezco.

“bitch…are you hooking up with fezco?!” she squeeled. pulling you into a hug again. you laughed at her excited tone in voice remembering how much maddy had hoped for you to get a boyfriend. she’d always talk to you about how much you needed to be in a romantic relationship.

“we’re dating” you chuckled. “and i have to go but text me so we can make plans alright? love you!” you said, starting to walk away.

“you better, we have a lot of shit to catch up on!” she yelled, you turned back at nodded laughing. it was good to finally be back.

…

you were happy again.

you started hanging out more with maddy, catching up on all the shit like she said. you also still talked to rue, not as much as you used to but definitely still consistent enough to consider her still as a friend.

fezco on the other hand, had taken you to a million dates already. wether it be the beach, a restaurant, the mall, anywhere you wanted to go hell take you and he will make sure you enjoy the fuck out of it. and you did.

you two had fallen so in love with eachother. something you’d always been afraid of because of your view of love shown by your parents and how sometimes in can really cause to hurt eachother it really sucked.

it was already march. which meant the acceptance letters would be coming in, some not luckiers than others. you’d been waiting for a few weeks now, for the email to come in to your computer. you’d find yourself sitting infront of the computer for hours simply just waiting.

“don’t worry about it ma, i’m sure one of them will accept you”

fezco would say, ash would agree, but he didn’t really want you to leave. so didn’t fez he much rather you stay with them until the day he fucking dies but you had a life to live, placed to head, money to earn, too much would be waisted if you’d just stick with him, he thought.

finally after weeks, the notification on your email app rang, quickly you opened it. the first think on the email saying.

“Congratulations Y/N!”

“no fucking way.” you said, slapping your mouth with your hands. you yelled as fez and ash came in to your room, hugging you as tears strolled down your cheeks, this time much for a much different reason than the time you showed up at fezs for the first time.

it was the momment you’d been prepared for. you’d waited your whole life for this momment. and for some reason you couldn’t help but want to stay. but you knew you wanted to continue striking for your dreams maybe become a model, poet or writer wherever destiny takes you is where you believe you would succeed.

it took fez a while and ash to realize that they wouldn’t see you for a while. it was hard for both of them to leave you at the front of the university, after a 4 hour drive. there tired faces, leaving your suitcases at the front of the dorms. you just stood there for a minute, and then hugged them both tightly.

“ i love you guys” you said.

“imma miss you a lot surprisingly” ash said. fez sucked his teeth elbowing his brother making ash scoff and you giggle as you held to fez a bit longer not wanting to let go.

“i want you coming back with that doctorates degree or whatever the fuck” fezco said. you chuckled nodding and sniffing. finally exchanging your final goodbyes and i love yous.

this would be the new chapter of your life, a blank page ready for it to be filled with memories.

.

.

.

[shanitani]

CHAPTER 3: BAD B*TCHES

table of contents

👩🏽‍💻: lol did y’all miss me? im still on hiatus for maybe a good two weeks until summer srry<\3. but to make up for it I made this chapter hella long.

“Damn their water pressure is good.” You mumbled softly, turning off the faucet. The boy had a cleaner bathroom than you had expected, in comparison to the ones in America - he was almost cleaner than yourself. You wiped the fog from the glass admiring your damp face for a moment, fully indulging in the fact that you were really in Japan.  

You slipped on your pajamas, the bottoms hugged at the figure well and unfortunately so did the tank top Mitsuki put out for you. You had no problem wearing it around by yourself, but you had to take into account there was a boy you had never met before living there as well. It didn’t help that Midnight never gave you any descriptions about the boy as well, so it was obvious how high alert you were.

You grabbed your belongings, turning the music down to a soft hum in volume before turning off the bathroom light. The cold air hit your damp warm one before clearing your vision to see the teenage boy you had been wondering about the day you got your acceptance email. You both stared in awe, you took in his muscular arms due to training, the light ruffle of his blonde hair, his mouth fixated in a frown, and his piercing red eyes.

It wasn’t as if he wasn’t looking at you either, your skin glistening under harsh light, your hair lightly tied back with a hair tie, the familiar smell he smelt minutes before now more concentrated and easier to name. He dared not to look at your figure-hugging the waistband of the pajamas, trying to rip his glare away fast enough. He grunts, beginning the doorknob, “You better have had left my bathroom the way you saw it.”

You frowned furring your brows, “Duh I did. And hello to you too.” you scoffed looking down at your phone in an attempt to make the situation less awkward. The blonde boy let out a groaned out “hey” before opening his door, and closing it in the same breath. “Rude ass,” you mumbled under your breath before heading downstairs back to your room. 

“You met him?? TELL ME WHAT HAPPENED” Imani squealed putting her elbows on her crisscrossed legs looking in awe behind the screen. You smiled at her eagerness to know the boy, though you didn’t think he was all that. “Well he’s pretty muscular, um tall, he’s blonde and rude as fuck.” You rolled your eyes at your last sentence as you simultaneously put your belongings in your new backpack for tomorrow.

“Okayyy he could work! You gotta fierce Lil attitude too so it’ll work out fine.” Imani flashed you a smirk - knowing you couldn’t hit her from Japan. “Oh shut up Mani! you know if I was there I’d slap your ass right now.” you pointed your middle finger towards the camera, giving her a nice view of your white acrylic nails. “Exactly why ima act out now rather than next year.” She huffed, turning off her led lights looking back at her best friend. “I’m gonna miss you tomorrow, school’s gonna be so boring.” You whined thinking about the worst scenario known to come. If they were anything like Bakugo, well you were going to be entirely fucked. “I will too. But stop making me sad about it! We gone see each other soon.” Mani kissed the phone foreshadowing a kiss to your cheek, you smiled doing the same motions as her before ending the call and rolling over to fall asleep.

“I better like these people, Nah they better like me....” you shut your eyes, anxious for your first day to start.

The next day came, as Mitsuki dropped you and Bakugou off. You expected him to at the least show you to where you needed to be - but instead he slung his backpack to the side , not giving you a glimpse of attention your way. “One day im gone beat his ass up.” you took a breathe trying to find the dorm rooms, only to be met with a man right in front of you.

“Hi, [L/N] nice to finally meet you.” The tired-looking man shook your hand motioning you into the dorms. “As you know we enroll all students into the dorms for their safety because of accidents that have happened in previous years.” you nodded looking at the huge building with high ceilings and pillars inside. The man showed you around to the necessities like the gym, commons room, the classrooms, and finally to your dorm room. “I forgot to mention, but you probably know me. I’m Aizawa, and I’ll be teaching you along with class 1A. Today we just want you to prepare your dorm room so you can sleep easy tomorrow - I won’t lie to you, it won’t be easy.” he shrugged giving you the keys to your dorm.

You thanked the man before opening the room, as said in the description - the rest of your belongings were stacked to the side of your room along with your mattress to the right of it and a desk to the left. “Might as well put on music.” you thought to yourself, scrolling through the millions of playlists before finally reaching the one you wanted. 

“Yeah, this will take a while.”

Putting on the comforter of the bed, and adding the last of your pictures on the wall; you flopped onto your bed feeling a slight headache arrive. You groaned wiping your forehead, looking out the window to see the sun almost come to a set. “How long do these children work? Seems like their school hours are a whole part-time job.” before you could laugh at your inner joke, you heard the loud door creak open before the kids voiced roamed the hallways.

You shifted uncomfortably on your bed, knowing that they knew you arrived. It wasn’t like you didn’t want to meet them. You just didn’t want to do the same cycle of meeting new friends again - it was a hassle and you were fine with the ones you had in America. You took a deep breath trying to regain your thoughts, “They won’t even know I’m here. It’s alright.” you repeated to yourself trying to make the anxiety slowly creep up disappear. 

“Yeah she’s here now stop asking me about her, you wanna talk to her go right there.” you heard the familiar huffed voice described as Bakugous. You could tell he pointed towards your dorm the way a teenage girl laughed, hearing the footsteps come closer and closer towards your room. “Shit.” you jumped off the bed, fixing your hair making sure to make a good impression no matter who it may be. That’s when the footsteps stopped, and a light knock was met at your door.

you opened the door to a girl squealing, “Hi!” a curly haired girl engulfed you into a hug making you step back giggling at her eagerness, “Hey! your hair smells nice.” you hugged her back, finally stepping back to get a look of her. Her hair was the same color as her skin - pink, that you could only assume was the cause of her quirk. However, she did have black features that made you believe she was Blasian. 

“Mina stop harassing the new girl! it’s only her first day. Hello I’m Momo!” A black haired girl came waving her hand at you, she looked beautiful - you were almost intimidated by her stunning features feeling a tad insecure once side by side. 

“Oh no worries!” you giggled sitting on the edge of your bed motioning for them to come in more. “How’s your first day been?” Mina sat at the other edge of your bed looking at you with huge eyes, “Honestly, kind of boring. also confusing since this place is huge. Way bigger than the schools in America” you motioned towards out your door foreshadowing the commons room.

“America? that’s where you’re from?” Momo chimed in walking towards your desk chair to sit down. You nodded, “Mhm, California.” Mina gasped - “California! You’re so lucky!” you laughed at her bubbly attitude that was a bit similar to your bestfriends at home. “Trust me you wouldn’t want to be there, I’m here for a reason aren’t I” you smirked nudging her shoulder slightly.

“ Wow, How long will you be staying?” “One year.” you shrugged looking off in your dorm window. “Well I hope you love it here, hopefully become a pro.” Momo smiled at you genuinely, and you couldn’t help but fall in love with her persona. Before you could speak again you heard a knock on your door and small murmurs behind your door, Momo opened the door slightly, only hearing a faint “Yall better not embarrass me. I’m serious” before she opened the door all the way to the boys.

“Shut the hell up Momo.” one yellow haired boy lightheartedly says before leaning on your wall and catching your eyes. “Hey! I’m sero and this is Denki. Nice to meet you.” Sero extended his hand to yours to shake, “Wassup Sero, Hi Denki.” you smiled at the other boy.

“Damn, so this is why Bakugo didn’t want to show you off huh.” Denki came closer to you, taking in your features. “Or he just don’t like me” you scoffed thinking about his arrogant characteristics from Sunday. “Well that’s good, less people to compete against.” Denki sat next to you on the edge of your bed fully focused onto you. You smiled taking observations to his flirtatious personality.

No matter Denki giving you his full and undivided attention, Sero caught your eye the moment he walked in the door. You looked Sero up and down, his outfit caught your full attention. He wore the UA uniform required yet paired with grey Jordans and a silver chain dangling from his neck, it was no understatement that he was a very attractive boy. “Why you standing there all quiet, Sero? you obviously came up here for something.” you jokingly stated - trying to start some conversation with the boy.

“Tried to see if you were really what all the hype was about.” He shrugged coming up near you to overpower your figure, your heart raced as he looked down upon you smirking, he knows he fine chile. “They were definitely right.” He smirked looking at you with low eyes.

“Y’all are the most flirtatious boys I know. Swear I can’t take yall no where.” Momo grabbed the two boys by their collard shirts making them groan in displeasure earning a laugh from you - only to make them groan in embarrassement. 

“Bye boys.” you wave them off as Momo literally kicked them out your dorm, before closing it in front of them. “I like you” you pointed to her, making her eyes widen, while her cheeks grew into a blush before smiling. “Now how did you make a better impression than me and I came here first.” Mina flopped onto your bed frowning. “Don’t worry girl I like you too.” you slapped her thigh in a friendly manner.

“Alright you two enough talking, get back to your dorms. You all have a long day tomorrow.” Aizawa yelled through the door with his usual tired voice before shuffling off to his room closing the door. “Guess I’ll see you tommorow [Y/N]!” Mina skipped off towards your door “Yes! see you tomorrow” Momo opened the door looking back once more “Bye boo’s!” you called out before the closed your door.

You turned on your led lights in substitute for the harsh lighting in your dorm, shuffling off into your bed. you looked off onto your wall looking at the pictures you stuck to them, “Damn, I miss you Imani” your hand grazed upon the picture of you and Imani sticking up the middle finger to a flashing camera with your phones in one hand and a red cup in the other - a party you both went to knowing damn well you weren’t supposed to be there.

You turned towards the other way of your bed shutting your eyes - anticipating for the long day ahead of you, and meeting the rest of your class tomorrow morning.

👩🏽‍💻: y’all fw y/n being bisexual orrr? or do y’all want scandals? tell me now😁

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[ultrakeystotheheartblog]

Popstar Pipes (Dick Grayson x Reader)

Request: “Can you do an imagine with Dick from Young Justice singing Jesse McCartney songs?” - @nyntendoh44

Song: Better With You (Acoustic Version) - Jesse McCartney

A/N: A long one again, I hope you all enjoy! :) I apologize if there’s any grammar mistakes or if Dick seems out of character in any away (it’s been such a long time since I’ve watched Young Justice. I definitely need to re-watch before the new season starts lol). Also, the next imagine I’ll be working on will be a Starfire x Fem!Reader. Look for it soon!

Warning: swearing, and cheesy-cheesiness 

*********************************************************************************

Thirteen texts.

In counting.

And still nothing back.

You stare dejectedly at the open messenger of your phone, anxiously swinging one of your legs and tapping the toe of your boot against the sturdy oak siding of the bar. The wood is scuffed and aged, just like most of the furniture pieces and features that make this place feel kind of homey and lived-in and real. Like a little slice of domestic bliss that’s hard to find in the fast-pace of the outside world, a comforting haven dressed up as a small, semi popular bar near the centre of the city. 

There’s a cute juke box in the far right corner of the bar area, with peeling red paint and a minorly cracked plastic casing. A large, scratched up pool table in the far left that no one really seems to gravitate towards anymore—if the layer of dust settled in the green bed cloth is any indication. And a cluster of worn round tables and wicker chairs bordering the small raised platform at the very back. 

The platform itself lies beneath a row of remote controlled spotlights that flood the stage in hot, bright beams, bolted along one of the many heavy beams crisscrossing in a grid along the ceiling. The stage is tiled with flashing squares of multi-coloured lights that are reminiscent of a disco dance floor. An upgraded DJ booth sits just beyond it, and is evidently what most of the money seems to have gone towards. And for good reason you guess, as this place saw a lot of business for their involvement with anything music—be it local bands or starving singers, or more recently (and maybe hilariously) the open mic karaoke nights. 

It’s a nice place—rare in the city you live in—with an even rarer handful of pleasant staff and a good vibe that usually attracts good, friendly people. It’s probably why you and your friends like to come here so often to de-stress. Though right about now you think the warm environment is lost on you for the night, because you do not feel one bit de-stressed.

You’re one of the few people sitting there at the bar (the rest of the patrons already crowded in the seating area around the stage), perched on a cushioned, yellow bar stool with thin metal legs that creaked with any amount of shifting weight. It’s cooler there and quieter, a sweet couple sitting to your far left at the end of the bar. They’re swapping stories about their days, hands intertwined over the top of the bar, and there’s a much older man in his early 40’s just down a couple of seats from you. 

He’s unshaven and blinking rapidly through bloodshot eyes, already on his sixth drink of the night. He’s also clad in a stylish blue business suit that’s crumpled like he’s slept in it for days, obviously here to drown his sorrows in alcohol. Well, suit guy, look at you go.

You think you can surely understand him on a spiritual level.

On that note you frown and lock your phone, placing it face down before turning back to your own drink. You squeeze the cool glass between your fingers and take a rather large gulp from its contents. It’s still only your first one, so the burn as it hits the back of your throat is not numbed in any way by a drunken haze, and is still sort of painful when you swallow. But it’s good enough to take your mind off your own problems for a minute.

You peek at the couple again when the no-nonsense, heavily tattooed bartender passes in front of you to refill their drinks (taking a moment to throw you a sympathetic smile and playful wink over his shoulder on the way—thanks Joey, you’re kind of best friend material), feeling bored and sad enough to continue in your people watching. Both women are dressed in matching red and black motorcycle jackets that reminded you of something straight out from Grease, the emblem of a team or group (maybe a gang? There were a lot of those still operating in Blüdhaven lately, regardless of a certain bird’s frequent visits) stitched in white across their backs. God, you wish that were you.

And by that, you meant enjoying those cheesy, delicious nachos sitting between them. Because it seems that your ‘date’ for tonight—this definitely isn't a date though, just two friends hanging out after a stress-filled week of work that literally (metaphorically) burned out a piece of your deadening soul, just two pals out for a casual drink in a casual bar with a causal amount of anxiety (okay, an abnormal amount of anxiety because you were having some really weird, certain feelings about this friend lately, but that was nothing to really worry about, right?). Besides it’s not like anything is going to happen tonight…because he isn’t even here to see you potentially embarrass yourself like the walking disaster you are—has decided that 8:00pm was more like a suggestion, than the actual meeting time you’d both put effort into setting up like responsible adults (ha! what a fucking lie). And here you were at 8:45pm, planning the best way to throttle one of your best friends in this whole stupid world with only your bare hands.

You seemed to be resorting to that plan a lot today, but that’s just because people suck and you want to live like a hermit in your bedroom until you get old and wrinkly and eventually die covered in something both tasty and respectable—like chocolate. Was that a little too weird? Probably. Are you going to take back any of what you just conjured up in a moment of frustrated self-reflection? Nope, you decide that you’re committed to that vision, as long as you don’t have to deal with how shitty the world was becoming anymore. Or staying…it’s been pretty shitty for a while. And does that make you a coward? You don’t like to answer that question. 

But you can’t help but admit that part of you is worried too. Worried if he got sucked into dealing with more vigilante stuff, or team stuff, or bleeding out in an alley somewhere alone stuff, and just lost track of time. All three have happened before. You tap the screen of your phone again and sigh in defeat when you see there are still no messages from him.

And then you very nearly lose what’s left of your crap when two hands clap over your eyes from behind and eclipse you into semi darkness. You tense, spine locked straight as you shoot up in your seat and are unceremoniously ripped from your depressing musings, gripping the edge of the bar so hard it hurts your knuckles. You have to learn how to be more aware of your surroundings, because holy shit you can only take so many heart attacks during your young life. 

There are lips at your ear, minty fresh breath soft against your skin as the person chuckles, the sound comforting and warm and familiar in a way that has no issue bringing peace to the drowning, dark places in your mind. And as damningly cliché as it can get, the world just seems to fall away into the background—the sounds of clinking drinks, the clunk of cheap shot glasses striking wooden tables, crappy pop music, boisterous, annoying loud-talking and off-key singing from the group of bachelors partying it up on that open mic, and the laughing couple still sharing that damn plate of nachos they’d ordered over an hour ago, all becoming this muffled sort of white noise in your ears.

You can only focus on the feel of his hands, roughened and calloused from his work as a hero, but you can feel the strength in them too. A strength that always makes you feel protected and insanely wired in the best possible way, a heat pooling into your abdomen that you can never quite discern as one thing or another. All you know is that it makes you truly alive. And maybe a bit annoyed, especially when the owner of said hands is almost an hour late. 

Prickling irritation makes your chest grow tight, and you take a steadying breath in, immediately inhaling the muddled scent of his sharp cologne and a clean, citrusy body wash that makes you feel blissfully dizzy. But only for a moment.

"Guess who?" He whispers with a ridiculous amount of charm seeping into his voice (looks like someone knows they’re in trouble and is now trying to get on your good side), the front of his body pressed up against your back. So close, that if you weren’t just a little ticked, you’d have probably leant back against his chest to seek out some semblance of comfort—like you always do when around him—especially when thinking about what you’d had to go through during your work week. So, you settle for being a little petty instead. 

The night is still young after all. 

You reach up to touch the back of his hands, slouching back down in your seat a little. "Hmm let me see—sweaty, calloused hands and the smooth timbre of a teen popstar. It could only be my dork of a birdbrain."

He snorts in laughter and his arms drop like dead weight to his sides, moving to your left side to lean against the bar. His eyebrow lifts in amusement as he stares at you. "Ouch. Just going straight for the throat tonight, huh?"

You blink at the sudden return of light filling your vision, sliding around on the bar stool to face him with a pointed, narrow-eyed gaze. “Would you rather me go for something else?”  

Dick Grayson ever rarely, and so outwardly, reacts when it comes to threats of his own well being (though if it were ever turned on the people he cares about…than that’s a whole other room you don’t want to spend time unpacking right now)—a testament to his time raised and trained by the scarily stoic, and maybe slightly emotionally constipated, father figure (THE freaking Batman you’d come to learn recently, and kind of wished you hadn’t, because that’s super intimidating) and then his time spent as a highly-skilled vigilante hero—and this time was definitely no different. 

But you’d gotten good at reading him over the years without much to go on, almost just as well as he can read you, because you can see the flicker of something akin to concern in his gaze—but for you or his situation, well, it’s kind of hard to truly distinguish with how fast it comes and then melts away into uncertainty—and then he’s slowly moving to cover his crotch with a one hand. He never breaks eye contact with you, awkwardly clearing his throat in a way that tells you he’s now a little nervous.

“Not that I don’t appreciate our playful banter, but that one, uh, seemed a little hostile.” He observes with a furrowed brow. You choke back another mouthful of your drink, eyes shifting to admire the high, open shelved liquor cabinets that line the wall behind the bar. The shiny different colors of glass and alcohol give you something else to focus on for the moment, while you steel yourself for the night ahead.

Or maybe you should just head home.

“Did it?” You ask casually, unable to keep the bitter edge out of your tone. You can feel Dick’s burning eyes on you, and know that he’s already analyzing your emotional state with his well-versed detective skills.

“What’s up, (Y/N/N)?” He begins quietly, “You know you can talk to me about anything.”

The concern is back in that searching gaze of his when you turn to look at him, his eyes so honestly earnest and deeply worried and beautifully blue as he leans towards you—goddamnit how can a person even have eyes like that, it’s unfair—that you not only lose your breath for a second, but the entirety of your precariously constructed iron will. So, now it’s also unfair how fast you find yourself forgiving him for his appalling tardiness, just leaving you happy that he’s finally here now.

The things you go through for this man.

You sigh and deflate, leaning the rest of the way into him to press your check against his shoulder. The fabric of his dark blue jacket is smooth and cool against your skin.

"I know, Dick, I--It’s just…been one of those days. I’m sorry."

Dick drops his chin to the top of your head, releasing a shuddering breath that tells you he’s just as exhausted as you are. "I know what you mean. But I'll have you know that I was just trying to be adorable."

"You don't have to try." You say with a laugh, almost tipping right off the bar stool when he abruptly pulls back from your body to flash you a cheeky grin. You roll your eyes at him, "I mean you don't have to try so hard around me.”

“Oh?”

Dick reaches behind you for your drink. He brings it up to his lips, watching you over the rim as he takes a long sip. You poke his chest with a teasing smile, coyly arching a brow in challenge.

“No matter what you do or say for the rest of your life, I'm always going to see that tiny 13 year old boy who not once, but twice, answered the door to the manor half asleep, humming some old ABBA song, and wearing nothing but those majestic little black and blue Batman ‘undies. You know…the ones with the glittery gold bat signals on the butt?"

Dick definitely remembers.

He sputters instantly, a clear, resounding yes, choking on the burning liquid with a grimace. His reaction makes you laugh harder than ever before (yeah, you’re definitely not going home yet, you kind of really needed this). Dick swallows a desirable amount of air into his lungs in one gasping breath, quickly depositing your drink back onto the bar. He playfully narrows his eyes at you, reaching out to firmly clamp his hand over your mouth when you go to say something else. You’re sure he can feel the undeniable way your lips curl into a triumphant smirk underneath the skin of his palm.

“You said you’d never bring that up ever again.”

You reach up to grip his wrist, drawing the offending hand away from your mouth so you can speak. “I lied.” You counter, humming in amusement as you recall the hilarious image of a very mortified boy wonder making a dash for the manor’s grand staircase—bat signals sparkling under the lights of the hall. Ah, the memories. 

“By the way, do you still have those?”

“No.”

“Shame.”

Dick straightens, sets his hands on his hips, and smirks, staring down at you thoughtfully. His eyes dart to look out over the crowd still gathered around the stage, and then at the people lingering closer to the bar, gears turning behind his gaze when he catches sight of Joey rinsing out empty beer glasses at the bar’s sink. "Hmmm I guess I'll have to try harder then." He says a little too casually for your liking.

And with that you suddenly feel something horrible creeping up over the horizon, the changing winds of which it wrought bringing a chill so foreboding in its wake. Meaning he was irrefutably planning…well, something, and you were screwed (trapped by social convention and the sacred promises of ride-and-die friendship law to participate in whatever it was, curse it all). But there was also no way you were letting that smug face win tonight without some sort of fight. So you simply stare him down as well.

"Do your worst, Fingerstripes." 

"I will."

You scoff and pick up your nearly-empty glass again, "Then I'm really going to need to finish this drink first."

"Nope." He merely says, plucking the glass right back out of your hands despite your protests, and then he’s moving it to sit behind him—despairingly far from your reach. You pout at him like the sophisticated young adult you are.

"No?" You question unhappily.

"We're going to do something else first."

He lifts his hand to get Joey’s attention, the bartender sauntering over within a moment to warmly greet another one of his favourite regulars. Dick claps both hands over your ears then and leans in over the bar top to speak quietly to him, ignoring the way you squirm and curl your fingers under his palms to try and wrench them away from your head. But his hold is strong and your attempts are fruitless. Joey only nods once Dick finally finishes and releases your head, grinning at you mischievously from behind the bar.

You eye the both of them suspiciously, "I don't like that look in your eyes, Grayson."

Dick’s smile is nothing but charming as he pulls you to your feet, “It’ll be good, I promise. Besides…you need to loosen up.”

“I am loose—wow that came out wrong.” You wince, already knowing Dick’s mind went straight to the worst place imaginable with that little slip up, especially when you hear him snort in laughter. What a dirty boy.  “Hey! Don’t you dare start laughing at me, you asshole, I didn’t mean—stop it. Dick!” You whine, and your friend only laughs louder.

“Was that a Freudian slip?”

“You’re a Freudian slip!”  You retort without any real malice, shoving at his shoulder in embarrassment. “Ugh, that’s it, I’m out. I’m still too sober for this.”

His sets his hands on your shoulders when you go to turn away, keeping you still and somehow managing to sooth you considerably, thumbs rubbing gentle, tiny circles into the dips between your collarbones. “My point remains. You’re stressed. I’m stressed. We can release that stress together.”

You squint at him in disbelief, “For the sake of our fucking friendship, I am maintaining that I heard absolutely nothing come out of your mouth within the last 10 seconds.” You pause, smirking and tilting your head in mock curiosity. “But I do have to know one very important thing before we move on with our lives....did Wally teach you that line?”    

He rolls his eyes, and doesn’t answer the question. 

Oh my god, Dick. 

“Come on, get traught and follow me.” He practically sings. And now that should have been your first clue. He takes your hand and starts dragging you through the crowd around the stage, circling around tables and weaving in between groups of people in such a roundabout path, that it throws you off any possible trail of where he might be leading you.

“Where are we going?”

“Need to know basis.”

“I need to know.”

“Just wait a second.”  

And then you realize exactly what he’s planned when you both tumble out of the crowd and come face to face with a nightmare just waiting to happen. You stare at the now empty, mocking stage with wide eyes, gaze zeroing in on the lone mic stand. The silver metal glints under a circle of white light and you yank your hand free from Dick’s grip in a bout of panic. Fucking NO.

“Dick—”

“It’ll be good, I promise.”

You might just stomp your foot a little, “No, absolutely not, there is no way in demon-shitting hell I am getting up on that stage. You’ll have to drag me kicking and screaming.” You threaten seriously, taking a few steps back.

“Oh, come on, it’s not going to be that ba—”

“I’d rather die.”

Dick sighs, running a hand through his hair. He reaches out to take your hand again—his touch never failing to calm you—and squeezes it in reassurance. And then he’s drawing you back towards him, his smile soft and kind and all sorts of crazy attractive. You let him throw his arm around your shoulders, and he leans in to mutter. “Dramatics aside, how about we make a deal.”

It’s a trap and you know it. But the fondness and playful determination in his eyes intrigues you enough to throw caution to the wind.

“What kind of deal?” You ask slowly, brows furrowed as you gauge his expression.

Dick gestures to the stage with a flourish of his hand, “I get up there first, and, uh, hmm—averagely bring the house down with my sweet, teen popstar voice—” You heave an exasperated sigh at that, and Dick begins to guide you towards an open seat near the front, continuing his proposal eagerly. “—and then you go up there and smoke me.”

“You know I’m not a very good singer, Dick.” You remind him, refusing to sit just yet as you maul over his words. He waves away your worries, increasing pressure on your shoulders until your lowering your body into the heavy wicker chair.

“That doesn’t matter. You’ll still be amazing, and more importantly it’ll be fun. Now, sit.”

“I’m not a dog.” You scoff, glaring up at him as you slump back and cross your arms.

“Oh, I know, you definitely don’t have to tell me that. I’ve already decided a long time ago that you’re more like a whining, middle school child.”

“Says the edgy, bird-themed child.”

Dick leans down awful close, hands gripping the arms of the chair so that you’re caged in and can’t make any last minute escapes. “I love how you get me.” He quips in answer.

“I’m going to regret this.” You groan, a hand pressed to your forehead in frustration. Damn him and his damn smile. “Fine, go, get on with it.” You relent.

“You’re going to love it.”

“And you’re going to have to convince me.”

“Challenge accepted.” He declares smugly.

With that, Dick shrugs out of his jacket to uncover the plain gray tee underneath, the hem of which is smoothly tucked into his jeans. He tosses it to you as he turns and bounces up the three steps to get onto the stage, striding towards the mic with purpose. You grumble as your bunch the jacket in your lap, fingers tangling in the fabric to ground yourself from the creeping nervousness you feel. 

He slips the mic from the stand and steps a few feet to the edge of the platform, a single spotlight following him as he brings the mic up to his mouth. His voice resonates through the room, strong and enthusiastic. He’s ready to put on a show, and you’re just about ready to sink into the floor and disappear from this situation altogether.

“Hello, everyone! I think I’m going to—” He gestures to someone at the back of the crowd (you have a sneaking suspicion that Joey is now playing his part in all of this and—yeah, there he was, tapping away at the tiny square remote clenched in his fist as he makes a beeline towards the DJ booth and the young goth-inspired girl seated behind it) and the main lights in the bar immediately dim. 

Dick’s surely gotten everyone’s attention now. 

People quiet as they turn to watch him, and he sweeps his gaze across them as though deciding on how to properly entertain. “—slow it down a little now if you don’t mind,” Dick continues unhurriedly. “I have to admit...I don’t usually do this kind of thing very often, but as it turns out, I was double-dog dared to get up here—” (what a little shit) “—and sing a song for you all tonight. And I’m never one to back down from a challenge. That being said, I’d like to dedicate this little number to someone special—right here in this very audience. (Y/N)? Can you see me? No? That was a no, folks. Can I get a light down there? Yes—a little, yes! Right there. Perfect, perfect. Can you see me now?”

You blink quickly in the sudden harsh light washing down upon you, a second spotlight now trained on you intently. You glare up at him, “Unfortunately.”

There are laughs from the people around you, and Dick—all show-business now—sends you a teasing wink. “And you tell me to stop flirting.”

You try and glare harder at him, but you don’t think its working. He seems to understand all the same though, throwing up a hand in mock defense. “Okay, okay, I’m going.”

The pretty guitar of an acoustic song fills the silence right on cue.

And then he opens his mouth to sing.

I know it's ugly turning on the news There's people fighting over point of view Sometimes it's like there's nothing left to lose And I don't know what to do But I know it's better with you

Dick moves to sit on the top step of the stage as he continues, refusing to break eye contact with you for even a second. And, huh, you’re not sure why your heart is trying to escape from your chest all of sudden.

I was a wreck when you came along When there was nothing left You showed me the best I'm still a mess but you hold on Don't know just why you do But I know I'm better with you

But I know I'm better with you But I know I'm better with you But I know I'm better with you

Okay, you were not expecting to feel this way—dizzy and confused and slightly embarrassed—or for him to stare at you as intently as the spotlight on you both. But you find yourself liking it regardless of your feelings on the situation—just entirely awed at the talent of your friend. You knew he could sing, sure, but damn, it never fails to surprise you.

And make you smile.

For every laugh there is a silent cry For every day there is a darker night Sometimes this life doesn't treat us right And I don't know what to do But I know it's better with you

He rises to his feet with something like fire in his eyes, drawn with an invisible string down the remaining steps and short distance to where you sit, and you wonder why this all seems so personal all of a sudden—like he’s earnestly trying to say something and nothing all at once. You follow his movement with a confused tilt of your head.

I was a wreck when you came along When there was nothing left You showed me the best I'm still a mess but you hold on Don't know just why you do But I know I'm better with you

But I know I'm better with you But I know I'm better with you But I know I'm better with you

There’s a brief interlude in the song, guitar ringing pleasantly in your ears.

It’s just as Dick reaches you—but he doesn’t stop moving—climbing up onto the table you’re closest to with a grace that you’ve only seen in action a handful times. The people around it scatter much to your amusement, pushing their chairs back to give him more room, and he lowers himself to sit at the edge facing you, legs hanging off to freely swing. What a dramatic dork, you think fondly.  He hunches over to take one arm of your chair, tugging you around to better see him and then closer still to where he’s now perched. The spotlights follow you both closely, various gasps from the crowd making your face burn hot.

Wherever you are, it's never as dark Whenever I start slipping, you make all the difference Been there from the start, no matter how hard Whatever piece is missing, you know how to fix it

I was a wreck when you came along When there was nothing left You showed me the best I'm still a mess but you hold on Don't know just why you do But I know I'm better with you

But I know I'm better with you But I know I'm better with you But I know I'm better with you

The music finishes and fades out into another moment of silence, the bar eerily quiet as people watch on in anticipation for…something to happen. But nothing does. Well, besides you staring at him, too afraid to say anything and break the spell that’s shrouded the two of you in a peaceful sort of daze. For that moment, you think you can see it—a dance of muddled emotions in his expression that tells you he feels it to, that ever present connection that runs deep in your bones, and now he’s trying to make sense of it. Just like you’ve been attempting to do for days. 

And then the corners of his lips lift up into that beautiful, kind smile that squeezes your heart, any knots of tenseness in the atmosphere unwinding into the familiar reality of the bar, and he’s pulling the mic away from his mouth with a grin so boyish and blissful it makes your toes curl in your boots. Okay, so, evidently those ‘certain’ feelings you’d been hesitantly circling around for weeks like a frightened, wild animal are still as strong as ever. And you can’t help but hope that this soft, new affectionate glint in his eyes reveals a hidden truth—that this particular moment means something more to him too. 

The main bar lights get brighter again, the spotlights sliding back to train on the stage instead of on the pair of you. He leans towards you from his spot on the table, so only you can hear what he says next through the light applause that picks up around the room—once people realize that the show is indeed over.

“So, was I able to convince you?” He questions still smiling, swinging his legs on either side of you as he waits expectantly for your answer. You take a deep breath, slipping right back into easy banter when you crack a smile of your own.

“You’ve intrigued me.”

Dick nods with a chuckle that envelopes you in warmth, tapping the mic gently against your nose. “Mmmm good—because now it’s your turn.”

You freeze.

“Ah, crap.”

[evenstevensranked]

#37: Season 2, Episode 11 - “Wild Child”

Louis jeopardizes Eileen's campaign for Secretary of State by being a general lunatic on television and must deal with the repercussions of his actions. Elsewhere, Nelson wants to learn how to fight and goes to Donnie for help.

This one opens with the most bizarre shots of Louis "riding a bike" in front of an obvious green screen. It's actually pretty great. Again, it's one of those moments like the fake dummy, or the surfing green screen. You automatically know that it's not meant to be taken seriously. I mean, if Louis meditating on the bike crisscross applesauce isn't an indication that the scene is not intended to be realistic, then I don't know what is. Shia’s genuine laughter at the absurdity of the whole thing is also great.

He’s thinking “what is my life”

The scene is used in contrast to the rest of the Stevens family meeting with Eileen’s new image consultant for her Secretary of State campaign. They’re clearly concerned about Louis’ whereabouts and that he’s missing out on some important information. Steve is all “I can’t believe he’s not here yet” and Ren sarcastically says “Yeah, you know.. It’s not like him. He’s usually so considerate” — which hard cuts to Louis screaming “OUTTA MUH WAY!!!” as he zooms past pedestrians with zero regard. Incredible. He even steals a corndog away from the stoner extra Lefkwitz. I’ll never understand Disney’s obsession with corndogs. I feel like they talk about them so much.

Louis shows up late to the meeting with vegetables growing out of his hair, claiming it’s his science fair project. He also says it could be Eileen’s platform: “End world hunger,” which is a great visual. Imagine if we all walked around with food growing out of our heads. The consultant says “Please, tell me this is the wacky next-door neighbor” and in that moment I so wish that Louis was for the family’s sake. He would be the wacky next-door neighbor if this show was about anyone else on their block. This is definitely a sign of Louis becoming more and more outlandish, though. Growing a farm on his head...... like… come on. One thing I’d like to point out is that Christy always makes the actual best facial expressions when reacting to Louis’ craziness. 

Meme central right there.

This whole scene has a lot of those unflattering close up shots that we saw in Surf’s Up. Both episodes were directed by Paul Hoen. I seriously wonder why he apparently likes those angles so much. It definitely adds to the quirky vibe of the show, but still, I’m not entirely sure it fits. It’s a little distracting to me, almost overkill.

Fast forward to the next day. Eileen is officially announcing her candidacy on the Sacramento Morning News with none other than reporter Cynthia Mills. The image consultant dresses them in the most ridiculous “All American” getups and I have no idea how this guy possibly has a career in image consulting.

Is this Even Stevens or Leave It To Beaver? (Steve holding that spatula gets me every time.)

Of course, Louis is missing yet again. This time he has yet to make an appearance because he hates the outfit he has to wear. It is… pretty cringy considering the character of Louis Stevens. This is definitely something he’d never wear in a million years.

Did Eileen make him clean his room just in case? lol Because it looks immaculate in comparison to the tornado of clothes and junk we usually see.

Donnie literally has to carry him downstairs and Louis shouts “PUT ME DOWN, CRAB GOOSE!” which I’m assuming is an ad-lib. Where does Shia come up with this stuff?! Honestly! God bless him. Cynthia asks him “Is something wrong, little guy?” and all hell breaks loose. This is probably one of Louis’ greatest meltdowns, though. It really made me want to rank this episode way higher. It's absolutely insane! But as great as it is, you kinda get annoyed at the fact he can't even control himself long enough to not embarrass his mother on television like that. He legit destroys the living room and breaks Cynthia’s baby toe. But lines like "I am not a little guy, and these are not my pants" and "I'M NOT SHORTY PANTS KID" make it all worth it. It’s another scene that I just have to embed.

Larry Beale gives Ren a hard time about the fiasco at school later. He actually throws some solid shade by saying “What a circus! What is your mom running for? The ring master? ‘Cause I just wanted to know.” But, Nelson decides to step up and say “Hey, Snarky! For a guy with a tiny brain, you got a big mouth.” He proceeds to get stuffed in a locker. This is what motivates him to learn how to fight. But, we’ll get to that later.

Ren knows that some drama is about to go down.

Eileen, Steve and Donnie are at home watching the news report in horror. Cynthia brought Eileen’s opponent on for an interview and of course they seem like saints in comparison to Eileen’s segment — which basically should’ve started off with “Hi. I’m Louis Stevens, welcome to Jackass!” They desperately change the channel, only to find that the story has been picked up by literally every major news outlet. My personal favorite report:

“The Crazy Child” lol. 

Louis comes downstairs and seemingly has no idea why they could possibly be upset with him. Eileen starts to feel like everything is her fault since she’s the one who hired the consultant. And Louis just… AGREES WITH HER! He puts it all on her shoulders and takes no responsibility. “Ma, you’re a good kid. You are. You messed up, but it happens… right?” Eileen puts him in his place and explains how much damage control she has to do because of him. This scene makes me so mad. Ugh. Louuuuisssss. He tries to reassure her, saying it’s yesterday’s news. When suddenly Cynthia and a news crew bust through their kitchen window hoping for “The Wild Child” to go berserk again.

Now Louis finally starts to show genuine remorse, which is always nice and adds that endearing quality to the character. He confides in Ren letting her know that he wants to be the kind of kid who makes his parents proud. I love this. Louis decides he wants to win the science fair to specifically impress Eileen. Ren encourages him by saying she knows him better than anyone and if he sets his mind to something, he’ll do a great job. This is so true.

We see Louis working on his new, elaborate project for the science fair — The “Eco-Bot 3000.” He’s not exactly sure what it does yet, though. Ren is impressed and tells Eileen that he’s been working day in and day out on the project and that she should really go to the fair. The only issue is that Eileen scheduled her damage control press conference for the same day.

So, yeah. Nelson wants to learn how to fight and enlists Donnie’s help. Donnie knows the kid doesn’t stand a chance, so he teaches him some bogus ancient pinky finger trick he dubs “Ka-Ting.” That poking someone in a certain spot will reduce them to a pile of jelly on the floor. Okay. Nelson falls for it though and thinks he’s suddenly become some sort of blackbelt. He starts intimidating kids at school with his pinkies. How embarrassing. Let’s just wrap this subplot up now, shall we? Ren finds out about what Donnie did, so she tricks Nelson into thinking he’s too powerful and needs to put his pinkies away for good. He falls for that, as well. What a gullible guy. The end, lol. It’s an underwhelming subplot and feels like a total waste of time. 

One of the craziest things ever happens at Eileen’s press conference. Cynthia asks her "Is there any truth to the rumor you have sent him off to a desert work camp?" Holy crap. Did the writers just predict the freaking future?!

I wonder if Shia was already confirmed for Holes and they wrote that in as a little joke?! This episode aired in 2001. The movie was released in early 2003, so it obviously must’ve filmed in 2002. It’s a possibility! Suddenly the entire movie has become a spin-off/Even Stevens AU fanfiction of Louis being sent off to camp for terrible behavior. Let’s be real, though… He WOULD become the leader of the D-Tent pack. Holes will forever be a Louis Stevens at Camp Greenlake story now. Well.. minus the whole “no-good-dirty-rotten-pig stealin’-great great grandfather” mumbo jumbo. And the fact that his name is Stanley Yelnats. Annnnd has a completely different life story. Just forget that. Anyway, I just thought this bit was borderline eerie!! haha. It’s too coincidental. 

Cut to the science fair. The "Eco-Bot 3000” ended up being an automatic recycling machine and can/bottle crusher. HE'S SO TALENTED!!! I swear to god. If there was ever an Even Stevens reboot, Louis needs to have a job in engineering and do stand up comedy on the side or something. Wow.

Eileen ditches the press conference to be a good mother and support Louis at the fair. Everything is great and amazing and he wins first place! Until he demonstrates how it works to Cynthia Mills and the news crew and accidentally has it crush a full carton of milk — which explodes everywhere and the system runs haywire. There was a crap ton of milk in there. How did he not feel that when he lifted the carton??? He’s smart enough to create this machine from scratch but too dumb to realize the carton is full of milk?! Logic. The Eco-Bot pretty much becomes an extension of Louis’ personality we saw earlier, and terrorizes the fair. And… that’s it.  

Look how proud he was, though… :(

This one doesn't have much of a definitive ending. Or maybe it does, but it's just not very satisfying because Louis still basically loses in the end. The thing he worked so hard on ultimately goes wrong for him… on live TV… again. I don't like that. It always leaves me feeling upset and a little empty, tbh. But a memorable moment like the Shorty Pants freakout, and seeing Louis genuinely want to be a better kid redeem it for me. I couldn’t care less about this Nelson subplot, though.

Thanks for reading! And side note: Today is actually Shia’s 31st birthday!! Aww. Time flies. Go wish the king himself a good one.

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[shikungigi]

(Do people still say manenos?)

I was thinking of what to write today then I remembered I should have written about being on a train for the first time in my life. Okay, fine, I have been on the miniature train. The tiny train that remained the biggest reason I looked forward to Show every year as a kid. And if you understand what I meant by Show, you will likely relate, so I will not explain. After I grew up and read about the Kenya-Uganda railway and how it paved way for most of Kenyan “civilization” as we know it today, I wanted to get on the Lunatic Express. That never happened (clearly) and my chance to experience that part of history passed on just like that. So much for procrastination.

I have been procrastinating the SGR ride too, since last year. I never had an actual reason to get onboard and hit Mombasa. First of all, my idea of fun is very far away from coastal temperatures. When most people I know enjoy the beach and swimming. I don’t. It has been a running joke for years now, at work. How, when everyone was swimming I was seated in my coat. (LOL, of course the storyteller exaggerates that part. The very reason I hate coastal weather is the heat and sticky humidity, so why would I be in a coat?) Anywho, the chance to get on the SGR train presented itself last week and without thinking twice, I jumped on it, motivated by the novelty of it all, not procrastinating again and the fact that it was just going to be a weekend thing. In and out before I could catch a headache from the heat.

So this is what happens when you get to the station or terminus, which they call the Nairobi Terminus even though it is miles away from the capital: You literally feel like you are at the airport. So maybe they should just call it a rail port. I believe a ton went into building these big terminals and it is immediately evident from a distance. Oh and btw, we call it the SGR I think because we Kenyans love short and snappy names for everything, but I was trying to explain this to an American and she was like, oh you mean the Madaraka Express? And I was like, eeeerrrr, oh yeah… no one calls it that here though. I could hardly even remember that is what it was dubbed last year. Different strokes.

The Nairobi Terminus is designed in the shape of two trains moving towards each other, apparently with a load between them both. Lol. Makes no sense but very beautiful either way. The first stop before getting into the terminus is a tent, where you place all your belongings on a platform and step away, and then the police walk their dogs by them to sniff out any illegal stuff. After the sniffing, you pass through the machine check. I mean, I have never even seen sniffer dogs at JKIA!

Front – Taken last year

In the bowels

Back

After this point, you can take pictures at the beautiful front then walk into the terminus for ticket checking, making sure you have both your ticket and national ID. There is additional drama that is attached to ticket booking btw. I was going in a group, so I did not experience the actual drama since this work was done for most of us by the leaders, but I heard the horror stories. Apparently tickets get booked like hot cake online. If you make a mistake and tarry, you miss a spot within a few hours. A member of the group even got a ticket indicating the wrong date of travel and had to get this changed last minute. At this first ticket check, they are not super keen on the dates and all. Once you are through another machine check and into the building, you go up a flight of stairs (or escalator) to the expansive waiting area. Again, like an airport, people get here hours earlier, because this train does not wait for Kenyan timers.

The waiting bay just in front of the boarding gates

So after chilling for forever, just chatting, the gates to board the train were opened at 2pm. This train had just arrived from Mombasa at around 1. The first folks to board are the first class peeps who pay a whole 2,300 Kenya Shillings extra for that extra space and comfort. Us KSh 700 folks board shortly after. This is the point your ticket is scanned for you to gain entry into the final stage. And this is also the point you are finally singled out if your ticket has a problem. Once you are through, you walk across the length of the terminus to the flight of steps that lead you down to your coach. The SGR staff are everywhere, directing passengers to the correct coaches.

Mind the gap and enter the train. The first thing that hits you is the air-conditioning. Even locating the seat numbers is very much plane-like. The difference is you are walking through a much wider space and the seats are much more and arranged differently. One side sits four people facing each other and the other has six people, with just a tiny “table” jutting out from the side. There are luggage racks overhead and strip curtains for the windows. You are obviously supposed to sit on the seat allocated on your ticket, but if you can make arrangements with someone else to switch, well and good.

At exactly 2.30PM, the train started moving, gradually picking up speed. This train’s speed indicator was not working correctly on the screen, from what I gathered, but if the the one from the trip back was anything to go by, we were going at about 110km/hr. The trip is mostly noiseless. You don’t even realize you are moving that fast until you look at the ground just below the train. It is quite smooth the ride. So smooth, some clown in our group convinced one girl that the train had no wheels and it was just sliding on the rails. And she actually believed it. LOL. Pretty soon, you are past Athi River station, gliding through vast savannah and sometimes crisscrossing the old railway. At other points, you are parallel Mombasa road. If you pay attention to the road for long enough, you will spot a random SUV trying to beat the train. But that effort is always thwarted by any of the many trucks trudging through the road.

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This railway passes through 7 stations and 23 substations (I read, didn’t count myself. Relax.). I only managed to spot five I think. The 7: Athi River. Emali. Kibwezi. Mtito Andei. Voi. Miaseny. Mariakani. If you are really bored and peer into the wild around Tsavo, you will see some elephants. At around Voi, I think, we whizzed past the other train headed to Nairobi. At first, I thought it was moving, but that would make no sense, as my seat mate explained. It has to stop and let the other pass before it proceeds to its final destination. At every station we passed, there was staff standing by, I don’t know for what purpose. 😀 We also went over many elaborate bridges but I was stupid enough not to realize this until I read about it.

In the train, the train staff will push through trolleys with food, but this food is nowhere near free. BRING YOUR OWN FOOD, BRETHREN. Either already in your tummy or for consumption along the way. The toilets are great, but they block sometimes. They are designed pretty much like plane ones. And just like on the airborne ones, you will always find a rando who will not close the door shut to turn the light red and you will catch them off-guard seated on the toilet. And then they will act offended when they are the ones who did not utilize the lock as clearly instructed. SMH. The coach also has power sockets at one end, but that’s not super helpful if you are sitting near them. So you either go stand there and charge your phone or forget about your phone altogether until you have reached your destination. (I need a new phone!!! Where art thou, Sony XZ2?!) You will also be advised to not move from coach to coach, but please, you will move, especially if you know people in other coaches. If you do not move, you will not be super comfortable, unless you are in the 3000 shillings crowd.

We got to Mombasa at 7.15PM, so that’s like not 4 hours flat, more like 5. Like I said, you get used to the speed that you cannot automatically detect if the train has just slowed down, or has actually stopped, unless you look at the ground by it. This terminus has a huge tower jutting into the air above. It is designed to represent ripples and waves. Does not makes sense to me either but who cares, it’s awesome. However, it only hits you how much more tinier than the Nairobi one it is on the trip back home, because you will not find a place to sit even when you are pretty early. And there will be queues in the only washrooms in this terminus. he You have plenty of time to study the place and just think about what you could do with all the idle land lying around the terminus. Buroti maguta maguta.

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The trip from Mombasa started at 3.15pm and ended at 8.20pm. Again 5 hours. Let me stop there for now.

(I started writing this two weeks ago, when the ticket price was not hiked to Ksh 1000.)

SGR Manenos (Do people still say manenos?) I was thinking of what to write today then I remembered I should have written about being on a train for the first time in my life.