#they can also call me like every other delivery service does

[crimsonkenjii-writes]

I am upset at ups! I knew this would happen AUGH!! They failed to deliver my Giyuu cardigan so now I might have to go pick it up tomorrow at a ups store :/ NNOOO IT WAS SO PERFECT TOO!! FOR VALENTINES!!! Why does ups struggle so much with delivering my packages????

[waterloggedsoliloquy]

mutual 1: sorry the update for my webcomic this week is a bit late! i really had to rush it so it prolly looks really sloppy lol [some of the most sophisticated comic art ive ever seen]

mutual 2: call me uterine lining the way astarions cervix got me bleeding profusely

mutual 3: do you think nanowrimo will give me a posthumous pity publishing deal if i mention it in my suicide note

mutual 4: okay fine i finally started revolutionary girl utena

mutual 5: does columbo know the service he did for butch lesbians. for all of us

mutual 6: wish you were here [blurry picture set of conifer woods in early autumn evening, taken as if frantically running down a winding trail]

mutual 4: im pretty hardy i dont need the trigger list but thanks for looking out for me guys

mutual 7: good morning lovelies another day the wizard tried to best me and another day i successfully locked him in the spare bathroom lol hope u like drinking shampoo fucker

mutual 8: here is a zip of every yuri manga scan i have and here is a backup in case i get dcma'd. the himejoshi lifestyle will never die

mutual 9: i wish i could go back in time to the shinzo abe assassination and ask to hold the doohickey

mutual 10: here's my essay on how wanting to be loved is the same as wanting to be eaten. three paragraphs in you'll find out that this is 100% tied to an obscure beauty and the beast manga i've been reading lately and how much i want to fuck the beast

mutual 4: oh thats why there was the trigger list.

mutual 11: YOU CAN'T LOCK ME IN THIS BATHROOM FOREVER

mutual 12: why do i have to defend my thesis to people i dont even respect. im not dickriding you just give me the degree

mutual 13: its just me and this scab ive picked into my scalp against the world

mutual 14: my little dragon got glazed and is ready to go into the kiln! everyone wish him good luck!

mutual 3: nvm i am a beautiful genius. perhaps the most beautiful genius of all

mutual 15: i think we should give david lynch rpgmaker and whatever happens happens

mutual 16: kpeyboaatrds brpokem gpuys

mutual 17: also heres my work in progress glossary of mixtec words! i still have a long way to go but i love being able to preserve my roots even in this small way

mutual 4: i just finished the black rose arc. question: what

mutual 18: i need emet-selch to be my wife

mutual 19: i need glados to be my husband

mutual 20: visited the ocean today!!! <3 beach pics!!! there is a darkness growing within me

mutual 21: the forms for my legal name change came in. pls vote in this poll of what my middle name should be: Dill Pickle (Dickle for short), Optimus Prime, Tumblr User Gorgonicteratologist, Smeve

mutual 22: just finished my 100th book of the year! this weeks read was the uses of enchantment by the psychologist bruno bettelheim,

mutual 23: reeses penis butter cups lol

mutual 4: i need to hunt akio for sport

mutual 24: oouugghhrgh. hot. dog.

mutual 25: your favorite character or fictional other would want you to brush your teeth and wash your face so you're well rested and wake up feeling refreshed! make them proud!

mutual 26: being a delivery driver isnt the worst job ive ever had but i do keep wondering what itd be like to drive off into the wild blue yonder one day and not come back

mutual 27: weird dog? [phone picture of critically endangered stork]

mutual 28: i think the two phone line polls in front of my house are having a lovers tryst. no way to prove it tho

mutual 4: WHAT

mutual 29: while you bitches are balduring your gates or finalling those fantasies im doing what a REAL gamer does. playing a b tier rpg that came out in 2004 for the 18th time

mutual 30: ^ real. hamtaro ham ham heartbreak is a masterpiece of interactive art. im not even going to call it a video game at this point

mutual 4: THAT'S HOW IT ENDS?! ANTHY?

mutual 31: can you help me pick which drawing looks better: 34% overlay or 36% soft light?

mutual 32: new video essay out. its called disability in video game narratives: final fantasy 14's most reliable fault. i churned the script out over an all-nighter and my mic crapped out halfway through but by god i did it

mutual 33: my new zine bundle is out! if you buy it you also get a discount on all my game jam games! i really cant wait for you to play them!

mutual 4: yall should watch revolutionary girl utena

[alexa-fika]

Delivery for One (Crocodile x gn!pigeon!Reader)

A/N: This could be read as either romantic or platonic more like just not romantic lmao they’re not buddy buddy here. Also I sweat it’s not me it’s the roulette that keeps giving me winged animals.

Pt 2, Pt 3

Doflamingo

Dividers by @/Saradika

Crocodile sighs taking a long drag of his cigar, taping it on the ashtray, eyes glancing upward at the sound of the door opening

“Reader, what took you so long?”

“It wasn’t that long.” they roll their eyes

“Come here and sit.”

Crocodile gestures for Reader to sit in the chair across from him

“You have quite a few deliveries to do this time.”

They raise a brow at him

“You do know I don’t technically work for you, right? Cross guild just happens to be the place that requests deliveries and receives deliveries the most these days.”

Crocodile’s eyes narrow down at Reader sharply

“I am aware of that. Yet you keep coming back. Therefore, you are my associate.”

They scoff

“If it worked like that, every single pirate ship and marine fleet would be my ‘associate’” they said air quoting the words

“I ain't one of your little assassins.”

Crocodile leans back into his chair, folding his arms over his body

“But they do not call for you often, do they? They have no need for you. However, I do. Therefore, I have the right and power to declare you my associate.”

He takes another drag out of his cigar

“Besides, You have become dependent on us. Our connections. This has made you an associate in everything but name.

“Slow down there; first of all, you have no power to declare me anything; I don’t work for you; second, I don’t depend on you or the guild for anything; I have my own connections,” they said, ruffling their feathers, annoyed

“I do have the power to declare you an associate. I do not need your approval. And I can assure you, you do depend on me.”

Crocodile stares them down

“You know that without me and the guild, you wouldn’t be getting nearly as many orders to deliver.” He says looking down at his papers

“And another thing, Reader, Be careful with that attitude of yours.”

“That's golden, seeing as you’re the one asking for my services.”

Crocodile clenches his teeth in a tight smile

“Reader.” he starts a warning undertone in his voice

“Hold you’re tongue so we can finish this meeting, or I’ll pulverize it, and your wings will be next” he says glancing at them

They wince at his tone, sighing

“So violent…”

Crocodile’s voice drops to a murmur

“So disrespectful.”

He shifts on his seat, tapping the ashtray

“I am aware of your abilities. The guild has benefited from your ability to find your way like no other, speed and capability to avoid storms, but I am not above teaching you a lesson if you step out of line.”

They scoff

“And what makes you think I would do any deliveries for you or for you if you were to do any harm to me?”

“We both know you need the profit. I’m the one who arranges the routes, determines the price, and who you are delivering for. Without me, you’re nothing but a pigeon carrying letters in the wind.” He casually tells her without missing a beat

“No other locations are as organized as ours. They don’t have the influence or connections that we do. Nor does any other delivery spot have better profit than ours does,” he says, glaring at them

“You’re out of your league, little pigeon. Do not try me. Our connections can easily override and block your connection.”

“Not the entire world is connected to you, Crocodile; I can easily find people out of your reach or against you.”

Crocodile’s smile sharpens

“And can you do that without those precious wings of yours?”

They narrow their eyes at him

“What are you talking about?”

Crocodile grins wickedly

“I’m talking about your abilities. You take them for granted, little pigeon. What about your precious’ connections and places out of my reach’ if I were to destroy your beautiful little wings.” Crocodile pauses, puffing out another cloud of smoke.

“Would you be able to fly then?~”

They grit their teeth

“And you think I would just sit nice and still for you as you do that?”

“A pigeon with no wings cannot fly; therefore, they are easy to hunt and catch. And in that case, I would have a new pet. Which would put a new dynamic to this”

“You’re a work of art, aren’t you? You think I would simply let you do as you want with my wings, with me?”

He sighs, tapping the cigar one last time and leaving it on the ashtray as his body disentegrates

They still, as the man before them, suddenly disappears only to find themselves having to pull their head back to avoid the hooked arm that now enveloped them, the hook dangerously close to their neck; Crocodile situated right behind them, his hand placed right on their wings.

“I don’t like repeating myself. Do not try me, little pigeon, or do you prefer to see those wings of yours turn into dust right here?”

They remain quiet until an agonizing feeling starts growing on their wings as he begins to activate his devil fruit

“Well? Did my choice of words scare you? What a shame.” He drawls

“Now enough chit-chat, Sit down, shut up, and listen. You know how I work. Are your ears listening to my words now, or do your wings need some dusting?”

“They are” they sneer

“That’s more like it,” Crocodile scoffs, releasing them

They glare at him as they stumble as they suddenly let go

“What a gentleman,” they grumble

Crocodile chuckles

“What a pain in the ass.”

“But I gotta admit, you’re the quickest, cleverest, and most reliable delivery person in the business.”

“And yet you threatened your best carrier like that?”

“And yet you talk back at the person in charge of your jobs like that?”

Crocodile said sharply

“I don’t work for you,” they mutter

“But yet you still do my jobs,” Crocodile says, leaning back in his chair again and taking another drag of his cigar.

“If you leave, I take your wings; we already established this.”

They groan

“What an ass.”

Crocodile chuckles

“You have a foul mouth, pigeon. Will you take the delivery or lose your wings?”

“Just tell me where you want it to go.”

What we think? I feel like it’s missing something but im not sure what, I still think I COOKED, but I missed something, a garnish if you will.

Taglist:

@imaginarydreams

@amethystviolin

[maigo-san]

What are your zolu hcs?

this is inspired by a scene from the anime during Luffy's flashback post Marineford. It's the way Luffy doesn't cross Zoro's boundaries. At first, Luffy sees a lot of himself in Zoro and that's why he finds that Zoro can take the way he treated him (i.e. the manhandling, flinging around, teasing him relentlessly) and he was right to some degree, Zoro seems to tolerate pain despite not made out of gum so he does sometimes still yanked Zoro when he ran in the wrong direction and stuff like that. Zoro also does the same thing as him, pinching him, bonking foreheads, using his full power to fight Luffy, scolding or teasing Luffy back. But Luffy realizes that Zoro is an immovable force when it comes to things like sleeping or training and he stops bothering him. Sometimes he still asks Zoro to play with him as a way to share his excitement but he doesn't disturb him or poke him or steal his stuff anymore and just tap on Zoro's shoulder or his weight. Luffy doesn't even need to say anything because Zoro already knows what he wants and he also knows that his "clingy" captain likes to do this just for the sake of seeking Zoro. Sorry, it's such a small gesture but I will die on this hill because Luffy cares for Zoro as much as Zoro does for him

they call each other aibous/partners LOL either in the final saga or post-canon or when they get together. Had this idea after a Sabaody arc rewatch and saw RayRoger call each other that. Also why I find a lot of parallels between ZL and KidKiller. I find it even more fitting than right-hand man or vice-captain (but he could be all of them)

Zoro has a weird way with PDA. He doesn't do that much because he gets embarrassed by it. But he can't keep himself away from Luffy's personal space. Probably because Luffy does the same. He likes to sniff him discreetly; swing his leg on top of Luffy, acting like he was just nonchalantly chugging his beer; randomly pin Luffy down with his whole weight and falling asleep on top of him while Luffy looks so confused at first; press a palm on the back of Luffy's neck and pulling him to press their foreheads together while staring intensely into Luffy's eyes; neither of them saying anything until Nami told them to get a room; Zoro likes to bite Luffy, on his shoulder blades or his cheeks, due to cuteness aggression. He is actually the one who started it before Luffy developed a habit of biting him.

In modern AU, I really like to HC kindergarten/daycare/preschool teacher Luffy. His jobs can be pretty diverse, ranging from errand boy, to sex worker, to sumo wrestler, to boxer or MMA, to child care, to delivery service, pet sitter, warehouse operator, oil rig worker, beetle expert/scientist, and (a moot suggested) animal whisperer. Did he get a degree? maybe. Did it take him multiple tries to get a degree? could be. Did Sabo or Nami hook him up with a fake certificate? also possible. He might not even need them, this and that offered him after he helped them or something. While Zoro for me is usually pretty straightforward. A kendo athlete or teacher, anything by Luffy's side, bounty hunter or a hitman, or he gets paid to do the math equations in his classmates' assignments. At one point he was offered a data analysis or statistics job where he didn't last for a week because he got bored, had a bad attitude, and was often late due to getting lost

I have so many zl hcs I have not made any fanwork of, but these are the ones I thought abt at the top of my head so I hope you enjoyed it. Let me know what you think.

Bonus mature one to make this five hcs in total

Luffy bottoms, Zoro tops. Sometimes, Zoro is more of a side or touch-me-not, so they would use toys, hands, or tongues. Luffy looooves Zoro's mouth, almost more than getting dicked down. They either have quickies almost every day or they can go months without having sex so they don't have it planned out and they don't really experiment. One or both of them will just ask the other if they're horny or not, if they want to let off steam or not and just go at it. Zoro finds more pleasure in Luffy's reactions and looks than his own while in return, Luffy lets him in his most vulnerable state and gives him all his unbridled attention. Oftentimes, Zoro does it because he misses Luffy.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for not letting my brother (25M) use my mom car.

Sorry, not an english speaker so maybe weird grammar.

I (29F) honestly thing i might be TA here but let me kinda justify myself.

My brother wanted to use my mother's car for delivery (think Uberfood) and I vehemently disagree as it is the only car in the household.

For context, my brother has a history of, let say, fucking up. But the biggest fuck up is when he crashed my mom's friend car which I cited as protest. It is also the reason why we're in debt and why there's only one car.

So, our car had to go into service, so we didnt have any transportation to go to work. So my mom friend generously loaned her second car for the week. My brother was back from his overseas work and were staying with us.

He persuaded my mom to let him use the car for the evening and my mom agreed as long as he come back that night. The next day rolled around and he isnt back, and I have to go to work. So we called him multiple times before he finally picked up and assured us he's coming back. 30 min later, another call.

He got in to an accident.

He had broke his nose and bruised his chest and arm, but he's fine. That's the good news.

Bad news he rammed into another car, wrecking both in the process. The other car driver was also fine, minor bruises and all that.

Alright fine, the insurance will cover 85% of it, its not the worst thing.

Worst news, my brother doesnt have his license.

Like i said, he's been working overseas and only comes back for two weeks leave every three months or so. The license renewal is every two years. He has had plenty of times to renew his license. Worst he had lied he had renewed his license. It was only after the other driver called the police did he admitted that he didnt renew his license.

So now, no insurance. We're now in 50k in debt.

I say we because my mom had to take out a loan to pay for his car wreck and because it ended up not being enough, I also end up taking out a loan. He couldnt do it because he has a criminal record so we had to. Also had to sell our car for a cheaper one because the loan bleed us dry

He promised he would pay us back for the loan as soon as he starts working again.

Less than six months later, he lost his job because it was a scamming scheme company.

Now he is back and he wants to start doing deliveries and I am not having it. I told him that he needs to look for a job that doesnt require him using the car as he has a motorcycle he can use. And he keeps bringing up the fact that using the car means he can get more deliveries done as it is more comfortable which means more income, and the fact that I cant even drive myself, so i shouldnt have an opinion.

(I cant drive due to physical disability. Its mild but my mom does have to drive me to work.)

So, AITA for not letting my brother use my mom car?

What are these acronyms?

[idyllcy]

from one admirer to another : christmas

pairing: leon kennedy x reader || masterpost: from one admirer to another

synopsis: from one admirer to another, an online penpal service, allows for two people with common interests to write to each other without ever revealing their actual address! Luckily for both you and Leon, you get matched up! What do eggs and Christmas even have in common anyway? sure hope it's that modeling business and NOT that Ada Wong addiction.

Dearest Leon,

I wondered long and hard while writing this letter regarding what I should write back to you. You're quite a romantic, you know? You call me someone who views life with rose-tinted glasses, yet you send me flowers once every other week through delivery and call me every night that you can. In fact, it's gotten to a point that Ada had come back to the flowers for a quick visit and physically recoiled at the flowers. I do a pretty good job keeping them alive, so I've attached a polaroid of every flower that's still alive. (I also have one of Sesame Bun)

I wonder what it was about you that drew me in too. I find myself thinking of you more and more these days, rereading your letters to me and the absolute embarrassing gushing over me you had done, and I think back to when we kissed on New Years last year. You're a great kisser, you know that? I miss that about you a lot. I should've kissed you goodbye when you moved.

That makes it sound a little like I only love you because you're a good kisser, huh? Oh, right. I love you. I had a three-hour-long dramatic monologue in my apartment around all of the furniture while holding Sesame to my face, scoffing at myself over the fact that I would ever entertain such thoughts. But, the more I talked, the more I realized that maybe I do love you. Wow, what a change in roles, huh?

Your manager said what? That's absurd to me. You must really love me, huh? Well, I'll play into the image of you being in love by being just as in love, alright? Not that I'll need to play the role all that much once we start dating. (Is that presumptuous of me? I have agreed to date you, right?)

I admire you very much, you know? I find it incredible that you had started in law enforcement and now you're in the modeling industry as a supermodel. I know you think it was a little coward-like of you to escape the corruption rather than fight it head on, but you're flourishing no matter where you go. I find it amazing that you're so smart and think so fast. I really admire that, you know?

So, having said all that. Yes, I will go out with you. Please treat me well, Leon.

Hope this letter finds you before me, your admirer ᰔ

Leon blinks at the boxes piled outside of the apartment next to his, raising a brow as he steps into the elevator to go down to grab mail, humming. A neighbor. How fun.

Maybe he should go over and introduce himself after they settle in? Maybe he'll meet the neighbor after everything is settled down. It's a nice little apartment complex, so it would take a bit. If he remembers right, next door was the loft. Must be someone who likes climbing up and down, then.

Your letter sits in his hand comfortably as he cuts it open, careful not to accidentally damage the contents of it. A flurry of polaroids are pulled out by him, his flower deliveries visible one after the other, and a final one of Sesame Bun.

The boxes in the background of the images catch his eye, and he raises a brow. You're moving? Packing up? Sunshine barks for his daily walk, and Leon pulls out the letter, ruffling the dog's fur as he does a quick read.

"Hm?"

Sunshine barks at the door, and Leon puts the letter down, faint smell of your perfume on the tips of his fingers as he reaches for the door, blinking slowly at the bouquet that greets him instead.

"Hello?"

"Delivery from... an admirer?" You peek from behind the bouquet, and Leon gasps, reaching behind the flowers to engulf you in his arms, engulfing you in himself as you laugh, cheeks warm as Leon squeezes you, pulling back slightly to stare at you, hands flying to your face to map out your features, eyes gleaming as he smiles at you.

"Hi." He breathes.

"Hi." You grin. "Delivery for... Leon?"

"I missed you."

"I missed you too." You hum. Can I have a kiss?"

You reach up for Leon's face, and he obliges, lips pressed to yours sweetly as he squeezes you, lashes fluttering you let the flowers fall to the ground to wrap both your arms around his neck.

Leon only pulls away when he's sure he's going to pass out.

"So? What are you doing here in the big city?"

"The flowers are a housewarming gift. You owe me one now." You grin, keys on your finger as Leon blinks.

"Oh, Oh. We're neighbors?"

"Come over sometime?"

"Anytime." He picks you up, spinning you as he presses his forehead to yours.

prev letter : masterlist : epilogue

[oonajaeadira]

In honor of Catfish Day, may I ask a question? What is Frankie's best line of dialogue in TF? (also every time i consider deep and evocative world-building, i think about your stories and wanted you to know)

My Megan, my Cheese. You are a lovely soul, did you know???

I will admit that I've only watched Triple Frontier the once, but of course "We gotta fly over the fuckin' Andes, man!" is iconic.

This movie was what I VERY LOVINGLY call "Bro Fare" and is full of boys-being-boys, full of drugs and violence and military and bad decisions. And while I applaud the fact that it kept me gripping the back of the couch in a half escape, afraid for all of them and what could go wrong next, it wasn't really my kind of movie.

And now I'm gonna say something that may raise some hackles around here....other than Pedro and Oscar, I don't really remember the other characters. I know a lot of folks like Garrett or don't like Ben or whatever, but at the end of the day, I felt like the other three dudes were just playing your run of the mill military dudes.

But Oscar's Santi had a LOT of subtext. He was fighting against blaming himself for anything that happened because he called them all there and he didn't want to drown in it before they were out. There was a morally grey center to all of them, but I really feel like Oscar did an amazing job holding down the one that was the furthest from the light even if he was also trying desperately to protect them all. (Come after me if you want to say Tom was the worst, but that guy was just a damaged idiot. He's almost not even on the same scale.)

And on the flip side, I was amazed at the choices Pedro made to play the opposite end of the scale. You give a man a role like this, most of them are gonna play the military bro. These boys have seen service and it's easy to just play that stereotype (which, sorry, is what I felt the other three kinda did.) But Frankie is almost too soft of a heart to be there. His personality doesn't scream military in the Hollywood sense...because Pedro made a conscious choice not to play it. Any chance he could have swung into macho, he went the opposite direction, and listening to his lines and imagining how they are, flat on the page in a script, that role could have easily become that. He actually read his lines and found a different Frankie under them, chose to play someone who made bad choices and regretted them because he'd hurt people he loved with those choices. He isn't the loudest of the bunch, he's more a wallflower in the group because he's there to support, not be supported by them. And when Pedro asked himself, why does this man say yes to this with so much on the line? His answer was obviously love. He loves his brothers. He's at the fight not because he loves the fight but because he loves his friend. He hates saying no to Santi when he's asked to go because he doesn't want to disappoint his friend and you can see it in how he pussyfoots around his (very valid and nothing to be ashamed about) excuse. He ultimately says yes out of love and loyalty even if it hurts himself, even if it turns him back into the monster he wish he never was and Pedro made that choice to make it make sense to himself. And then he played THAT guy.

I love Pedro just as much as the rest of you, but I make a living in the theater and beyond his looks and his killer personality, I respect Pedro's acting chops and his choices and his deliveries so very very very much. I'm wowed by him on a nerrrrrrdily technical level. It's what drew me to him in the first place--when Din took off his helmet and told Grogu it would be alright and barely held it together, when this big tough warrior showed his face and that actor was not afraid to show that emotions in no way weakened his strength and could exist in a warrior in harmony, I was like WHAT IS THIS FRESH CHOICE WHO IS THIS FUCKING AMAZING ACTOR AND WHAT ELSE OF HIS SHIT DO I NEED TO WATCH NOW.

And now I can't unsee it. I love falling in love with his characters because they are so multi-dimensional, so nuanced, so real because he does the work and makes good choices. Every time a new role shows up, I'm a true Gemini: one half of my brain is squealing like a little girl because dur dur pretty Pedro boy and the other half is squealing like a little girl because OH MY GOD THAT'S A FKN AMAZING READ WHERE DID THAT CHOICE COME FROM.

He's amazing. And what makes Frankie amazing to me is all the easy choices he turned away from and yet made the harder ones look like childsplay.

[cityzenshark]

Out of curiousity, what were your thoughts on Rescue Bots? I can’t speak for RBA, but I feel like Rescue Bots has been better written and more consistent in writing/characterisation than most TF shows. Earthspark seemed to he going in the right direction but fell flat comparison/tried to do much too quickly/zigzag between ‘made for kids’ and ‘dark and gritty’

I can't say much about Rescue Bots either because I don't watch it. However, judging from some snippets I've seen and this fanfic series (I highly recommend it if you want a Dreadwing lives!AU), RB handled itself much better than Earthspark because they know the limits of their premise. ES doesn't seem to properly explore their own premise, forces 'mature' themes into its story until it strays from its main theme.

Long elaborations ahead. I didn't expect to type this much...

Like most existing shows, the Rescue Bots are a group of Cybertronians who landed on Earth. What differentiates them from the usual premise is that they're a neutral party. The story is set on an isolated island and community, naturally sparing it from the grittiness of TF Prime. If 'fitting in' was a recurring theme at one point, I doubt they have much to worry about because locals of the island know Cybertronians as helpful aliens doing their service, not murder machines who hate humanity and Earth. The war was kept well hidden from humanity, too.

ES has a great premise already. A new subspecies of Transformers born on Earth and into a recently post-war era gets adopted by a human family.

However I hardly see anything about family bonding, let alone proper family dynamics. It's like the writers had this one dimensional view of how a good family works and tries to pass it of as relatable.

Sometimes it also had this odd feeling of "You must do [insert serious subject] like this and only like this. Shame on you if you do it other ways." It's as if they don't allow the audience to decide for themselves and it'll give off the wrong impression. Kids who do catch it will likely get annoyed.

Judging from ES's premise, I thought the main goal of the story was the Terrans finding their place on Earth as a new native race; the main obstacle being the aftereffects of war with Cybertronians disrupting the Terrans understandings about themselves meanwhile Mandroid represents humanity's scars caused by Cybertronians. It sounds mature enough for kids to understand, like "Avatar" cartoons and "His Dark Materials" books.

Except the show doesn't make an effort for their mature topics to feel serious. They plopped them out of the blue, resolved it in a weird way or forgotten about it, and called it a day. There's no eventuality or continuations. It's forgetful. "Power of Family" later changed to "Power of the Chosen Ones". Every member of the family agrees to everything each other does with no real trouble. So much for "finding what it means to be family", huh?

TLDR; Rescue Bots had better writing because the story explored the entirety of its limited premise meanwhile EarthSpark has potentials with its premise but their lack of logic, exploration and respect to their own lore and main cast messes up the story delivery and message, especially regarding topics that resonate in real life.

Edit: Most importantly, RB treats their main characters as main characters. A non-viewer like me can distinguish who's who. The police car, the helicopter, the firetruck who looks done with everything, the chief and his son. ES kept discarding the Terrans & Maltos that viewers care more about side characters who already had their limelight elsewhere. I'm neutral about the Terrans because of how they appear as arrogant and obnoxious newbies, not overconfident and naive youngsters.

[schafpudel]

Epidemiology of the Raven's Blood

Part 0: Prologue

Realistically, the blood does things because it's convenient to the plot of the anime, and no deeper thought needs to be put in than that. However, while it does explain inconsistencies in its writing, it's boring and not fun to my pattern-seeking brain. I like to piece together coherent internal logic to stuff in fiction, even if I know the authors themselves didn't think that hard about it. It's fun to me!

At the same time, Princess Tutu's meta-fictional conceit does give us some wiggle room to borrow the Doylist understanding and smuggle it back into a Watsonian explanation. So...

In-universe, I think, the purpose of the Raven’s Blood can be understood as a plot device to easily convert a separate “character” and their body into a narrative extension of the Raven; that this is why Drosselmeyer would write it into the logic of his story. Bored of a character you introduced previously and want to heighten the stakes? They're a toadie of the Raven now. And when we go a level down in fictionality...

To the Raven, other living things exist to be exploited. The only use you can have, beyond being a meal, is being a pawn who can get it what it wants – and what it wants is to consume. Like some ancient castle-bound vampire or wicked dragon, its power and intelligence are ultimately in service of a simple predatory desire. If you are neither edible nor manipulable, you are simply a nuisance.

Diseases and parasites will manipulate pain and pleasure, fear and love, the body and the brain. But while a real disease or parasite’s goal in psychological and physiological manipulation is to reproduce, to turn the infected into a means by which to spread itself to new hosts... the Raven's curse is uninterested in this. What matters, to the Raven, is that the cursed becomes a minion and a pawn, who can bring its prey closer to its own mouth.

Part 1: Lay All Your Love On Me

Part 2: Serving Your Heart On A Platter

I’m sure you’ve heard of a sickness that feeds predators their prey. Toxoplasmosis, for example makes male rats as horny and lovesick over the smell of cat urine as they are at the scent of female rats, switching the pathways of fear and desire, to lure them into being devoured. The pathways between the two run parallel, you see. For the infected, every cat becomes a succubus, a siren, a beautiful creature calling its prey to their willing doom. And, if the parasite gets what it wants, this is how the rat dies.

       Why am I talking about this? Because Mytho starts talking about feeding himself to birds literally the day that his symptoms start presenting, in episode 14.

It’s true he’s saying this while antagonizing Fakir, so one could also brush it off as him just Saying Shit to make his roommate as uncomfortable as possible. But also – we know what the Raven wants, in the end.

For most of season 2, however, Raven!Mytho doesn’t continue to talk about feeding himself to crows. He’s mostly focused on seducing sacrifices, manipulating public opinion, having meltdowns about not being loved enough, and being petty to Fakir and Kraehe. His sense of self-preservation (in as much as Mytho has ever had one, cough) seems genuinely intact for episodes 15 through 21. If Mytho is feeling weirdly giggly about getting eaten during that timespan, he’s doing an awfully good job of hiding it.

And then Mytho starts molting into a crow monster at the end of episode 21, and the rat toxoplasmosis symptoms kicks back in.

(We're not told what he's smiling about here in episode 22, but the next episode, episode 23, makes it obvious:)

This does seem likely to be a Mytho-specific symptom; Rue shows no sign of this. The Raven has been particularly invested in eating Mytho’s heart for a long time, after all; Mytho’s job as the Raven’s doordash delivery guy was always going to be temporary even if he hadn’t beeninterrupted every time. It’s entirely possible that other people could end up with this “symptom” too, but we never see it.

The fact that Raven!Mytho proceeds to acts so strangely cuddly after telling Kraehe she’s an ugly fuck (but also that he needs her love) feels somehow related to this enthusiasm for getting eaten by crows. His voice delivery in the Japanese audio for the heart/lips/blood line sounds…  …I hate to say this.

It sounds like he thinks a crow girl ripping out his heart and touching it onto her mouth is really hot.

(Yea, of course she's shaped like an uggo human (and he's in the process of moulting into a majestic raven and he's sosososo excited for that) - but hey, she's technically a crow as far as he knows, and she has black feathers....)

(And while regular!Mytho seems negative to neutral about that in season 1, Raven!Mytho only ever complimented Kraehe for having crow-like qualities.)

Anyways! In Mytho's final state under the Raven's Blood, he immediately obeys the Raven's orders to be devoured, completely ignoring Rue and Tutu's pleas.

...You know, until the Fairytale Confession of Love, because this is a magical curse and it is a fairytale.

Part 3 and Part 4 are not ready yet but are in the works. See you soon.

[688199]

marinette is FAR from being a “normal girl, with a normal life” (general criticism, and analysis of the location concept art)

pardon any mistakes, this is a rant post lmaoo

first and foremost, she is the daughter of paris’s most popular bakery. everyone knows it. and it's not loved the same way a long time neighbourhood bakery is loved. sleek high class interior design, like i bet a simple croissant costs 4 euros or smth.

now how about the earlier bakery design?

cluttered, lots of bread stacked everywhere, but it coneys well their love for baking. wonder why those "run down eating places" are always the one that have the greatest tasting food? it's because their heart is in cooking the meal. tbh, reminds me of the bakery in kikis delivery service actually. and why does these two bakeries feel so much nicer despite being so simple looking? because you can feel the hardwork (oh and the brown is a true vibe). full offence but the neatness of the current bakery feels like its a corporate business.

two, while she goes to a public school, it’s like the kids of all the most rich and famous citizens of paris are gathered there. adrien, model and son of renowned fashion designer. chloe, daughter of the mayor. juleka, daughter of famous rock star, alix, daughter of historian at louvre. mylene, daughter of a leading mine performer that had his posters plastered everywhere. that’s like just some of i remember. definitely not normal. unfortunately no concept art of the school. but knowing that the PV did reference marinette's bedroom, im going to assume the school design existed as a brief sketch.

this seems like a classy, rich college, same like the current one. but the design is better, imo, looks more school-ish. and third, it’s so clear that marinette is super rich. like man what the hell that room is thrice the size of mine. yet it lacks so much personality. what does this tell us about her? she likes pink. i seriously cannot find anything here that stands out to me.

this is why i much prefer the concept art locations. at least they look sort of middle class. it also gives marinette a “cozy” vibe, and someone who makes the best out of a given situation.

marinette is given the attic room. lots of beams, not very well furnished. yet she takes advantage of a seemingly bad room by using the beams to place boxes and toys. she also uses cloth to decorate the place, showing her appreciation of cloth design. it’s small, but has character, compared to marinette’s pink spacious room that’s a mess to look at.

furthermore the rooftop clearly isn’t meant to be used like that. but she adds little features to it, such as a simplistic bird house, wood planks to allow an even surface to place stuff/ sit, and a tent tied down by random pink strings and ribbons. it shows how she’s adaptable, creative and caring (bird house). plus it alludes to a sense of defiance and her “wanting to take a break”.

on the other hand, the current (it’s not even called a rooftop it’s called a balcony) is in big open space, smack right in front of the eifel tower, nicely floored with a proper fence and proper table for teapot. nothing here is "make shift" like the previous design. even if marinette did spend time making this place nice, how can we tell? there's nothing that hints to us that she worked on it. it doesn’t convey anything about marinette to us anymore, other than: “oh holy shit she's pretty rich”.

even this even earlier design is simple, but still says more about marinette than the current balcony. she carried her teapot all the way up there even though it's insanely difficult to. this tells us she's willing to put extra effort into things.

you could say im looking too deep into things. but i really am not. people fail to understand that even art, animation and film, every little detail, no matter how small, is important and should tell us the personality of the character.

with all the choices made in the series, how could you convince anyone that marinette is supposed to be normal? the whole concept of marinette and ladybug is that she looks average on the surface, but is capable of being a superhero due to all these favourable character traits of hers that tend to be overlooked. marinette dupain cheng? writers can't even make her look average for gods sake. from her appearance (stereotypically good-looking instead of charmingly cute, there's a difference), and her life in general (blessed with all the chances in the world that basically spoon feeds her her dream).

its exactly like those famous hollywood stars saying how much they suffered before they could succeed. except they were rich from the start with famous parents.

[alltheoutsinfreeeee]

"Jo, how're you doing?"

I'm glad you asked, person I made up to use as an excuse to rant!

Remember when I asked if anyone knew where I could still find some 3DS covers? I ordered one! One I really liked even! Shipping and import are fine, and soon I get the tracking number. Everything's fine.

Few days later tracking says my package has arrived at the inward office, is in customs, and soon off to continue its delivery journey. Everything's fine.

Two days later tracking says it's back in customs at the same inward office, and for several days nothing changes. I get nervous.

I decide to call the office via the number they show on their website. An automated response greets me: "This line is unmanned, please call [Other Number]."

I call Other Number. Another automated line greets me. "Are you calling for tracking?" Yes. "Are you the sender?" No. "Please speak the tracking number." [Tracking Number]. "Please speak the zipcode of the recipient." [Zipcode]. "We cannot give you tracking information at this time. Please call back during office hours."

THEN WHY MAKE ME GO THROUGH THE WHOLE PROCESS IF I CAN'T GET ANY INFORMATION CURRENTLY ANYWAY--

It's fine, this is fine. I get an idea and check the tracking number via the national tracking service instead of the one I got linked with my order. "Expected arrival September 4th."

Okay. I will give it until then and if it doesn't arrive on that day, I will call every number I can find until I get someone who can actually tell me ANYTHING about my package's status.

It does arrive on September 4th! I still need to pay customs (16,44€) to receive it but that's fine, I expected that. At least it's here. The stress from not knowing is over.

I get my 3DS and my screwdriver, and unpack the cover.

I unscrew my 3DS' back cover and one of its screws snaps off. That's fine, the cover has its own. I put the new cover onto the handheld and get ready to screw it on.

...

It sure is a cover for the New 3DS. But I have a New 3DS XL. I silently turn to my brother and hand him the cover instead. I can't use it but he does have a base New 3DS. I didn't check when I ordered the cover, this is on me. My mood drops but what happened has happened, nothing I can do about it anymore.

I go to screw the old cover back on, one screw is better than none. I notice the other screw is now also gone. With a heavy sigh I click the cover in place and hope it will hold.

Hoping to distract myself with absolutely anything I decide to read the receipt I received for the payment of customs. It says 10,44€.

The whole order, including customs, cost me 70+€. And 6€ of those the postman took for themselves. And I can't even use the cover. I spent 70+€ for effectively nothing.

So that's how my day is going! Hope you guys are doing better!

[heyitsjooooanne]

265

One room.

Two hundred and sixty-five packages.

A young man decides that he's had enough…

Author's Note: Inspired by a Korean musician with questionable behavior concerning his package deliveries.

= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =  =  =

My friend Holden liked to collect packages.

Actually wait, no.

I'm sorry.

He liked to hoard packages.

Ah.

See?

That’s much better.

But back to what I was saying.

This dumbass liked to hoard his own packages.

Let me show you what I mean.

It was a cold, January day, the birds were migrating, couples were cuddling, casseroles were baking, and—

Okay, I'll just cut the bullshit and get right to it.

See, Holden and I (my name is irrelevant), were part of a small group of rich online influencers.

Now, don't go throwing that rotten fruit at us just yet.

Yes, we posted videos on social media, but we treated the gig like actual jobs, which they were.

 And not to brag, but those videos gave us both a hefty sum of money.

Read: I am currently a millionaire at the time of writing this.

Anyway, Holden and I lived together as platonic roommates while we both did god-knows-what outside of the apartment we lived in. Which was fine by me.

So fast-forward to sometime in early 2017 when we were both 24.

It was damn cold, our heater was broken, and there I was, minding my own business (I was playing a video game in my bedroom) when this stupid son of a bitch walked in and said...

"Here's your birthday gift."

One: My birthday was in November.

Two: He bought that birthday gift for me the previous year for the previous year's birthday!

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

“You’re kidding, right?”

“What?”

And if you're wondering how that could've happened, I'll tell you how.

He hoarded packages and never opened them, so naturally when he ordered something for me online, he tossed it aside and never bothered opening it.

Sigh.

Yes, I needed to actually write that out.

And that was just the tip of the iceberg.

Two years later, I had finally gotten enough money for my own place, so I moved into another room a few floors down from our old room, which was now Holden’s.

But I would occasionally go over to his room to hang out and film videos for our individual channels.

There was a time when I had to watch my two-year-old nephew (read: his cat) for a few days while he was visiting his family.

The problem?

I was bored out of my mind.

Because I had already used up all of my data.

And it wouldn’t be renewed until the next day due to a “system error.”

Also, the WiFi didn’t work.

Now, I love Coco.

He’s like a real-life version of the cat from “Kiki’s Delivery Service.’

But all he does is sleep, cuddle, and look absolutely adorable.

Great for relaxing, but not so great when you’re itching to do something.

So I decided to count all the unopened packages in Holden’s "delivery room."

He called it that, not me.

Ignoring his poor taste in naming rooms, I counted every single package in that room, and it all led to just one number.

265.

He ordered two hundred and sixty-five damn things, and he didn't open a single one of them, other than him randomly finding a package and going "oh! I forgot I ordered this for you ‘X’ number of years ago."

In case, you’re wondering, yes, Coco is still alive to this day.

I know.

It’s a shock to me that someone like him could keep a living creature alive for that long too.

But don't worry.

This ended up biting him in the ass later on.

Because remember when I said he and I were part of a group of rich online influencers?

Well...

Actually, it hasn't been that long, so this is still a sore spot for me to think about.

But I'll push through it.

.

.

.

.

Jesus, how many "birthing" references can I make in a single post?

Meh.

I'll just get on with it.

So this group was made up of ten people, myself and Holden included.

Seven guys and three girls.

And we were all super close with each other.

I'd even go so far as to say we were all friends.

In 2020, one person from our group got sick.

Her name was Emily.

We had dated a few years before then, but we eventually broke up because we each wanted different things.

She wanted kids.

I didn’t.

But we ended up being pretty good friends after our breakup.

Anyway, I probably don't have to tell you what she got.

The point is, she got it.

My last image of Emily was her laughing at a stupid joke that her boyfriend made as they both got into an Uber to go back to their hotel.

We had all been partying at a club that night.

#richpeoplethingsssss

And then six weeks later, I received a call from her boyfriend telling me that she had died.

Shot down like a fly.

Just like that.

After that, they all started falling down like dominoes.

One after another.

Trust me when I say that a virtual funeral is not any better than a real one.

And when you're forced to "attend" nine of them (a relative of mine also died) in the span of a year, it really does something to you.

"Forced" might not be the right word to use here since I attended them all voluntarily, but...

Now, you can believe in whatever conspiracy you want, but the point is that people we knew died.

And if you're wondering why Holden and I didn't get sick...

Honestly, this is a little embarrassing to write down, but...

Holden and I got a great opportunity to try out this new game before things got crazy, and...

We spent two weeks in our own rooms playing it.

Then we had to stay in quarantine.

Then we had to wear masks everywhere.

Combine that with the fear mongering news anchors, my hypochondria, and you've got two dudes ready to wear hazmat suits outside.

Or at least, I was.

I didn't though.

(I couldn't find a legit one online.)

It's easy for me to laugh at the ridiculousness of this now, but at the time, it was a Hellscape.

Finally, in 2022, I just snapped.

I don't know what it was.

Could it have been that it was May 14th and that was the day that Emily had died two years earlier?

Maybe.

All I remember is going into Holden's “delivery room” because a damn fly had flown in there and I was trying to kill it.

I swatted with the fly swatter and missed, which caused a package on top of a pile (yes, he had piles) to drop down to my feet.

I picked it up and shook it, and it sounded like a bag of chips.

I was already angry with the fly for getting in through the vent, so I was already pissed off by this point.

So, not caring that I was committing a literal crime, I opened the package in frustration.

It was a bag of cookies made exclusively in Japan.

A favorite of one of the friends who had passed away in 2020.

His name was Kareem.

After that, I just saw red.

I'd realized then that I'd had enough of Holden and his complacent bullshit.

I barged into his bedroom without knocking and threw the bag of cookies in his face.

I think he was live streaming.

Maybe a game or something.

After that, it was a blur of us yelling at each other and Holden getting upset at me for interrupting his stream and opening up one of his packages.

No, shit, dude. Someone had to.

After it was over, I rushed back to my own room, fuming.

The next day, I invited my boyfriend (#birepresent!) to stay at my place for a while.

Holden would eventually knock on my door a week later.

I was still angry, so I told my boyfriend to ignore him.

The next morning, my boyfriend told me he had to go out and do something, so I stayed in my  room alone.

But the fight between Holden and I kept nagging at me.

I knew I couldn’t let that be our last interaction with each other.

So I went over to his room.

I knocked, but there was no answer.

Feeling a sense of urgency, I put in the pin number for his door lock and in an unsurprising twist, it worked.

It was his birthday.

>_<

After I was in, I immediately went over to the "delivery room” and found Holden sitting cross-legged on the floor gliding a sharp kitchen knife across the taped end of a package that was actually a box.

I looked to my left and saw several packages opened up with their contents discarded in a pile next to them.

It was so surreal, I couldn't believe my eyes.

Was my friend Holden actually opening these packages????

I bit my tongue to avoid saying something snarky and settled on...

"Need some help?"

We spent the rest of the day opening the packages.

We even shed a few tears because it seemed like every package was an old gift that Holden had forgotten to give to one of our dearly departed friends.

Finally, at around 11:45 PM (I had my phone with me), we finished opening up every single package that he had neglected over the years.

It was like a huge weight lifted off of my shoulders.

And even though he didn't say it, I could tell that Holden was relieved too.

The next morning, while we were both enjoying a bowl of oatmeal at his dining table, I asked him why he had taken so long to open the packages.

"Don't tell me you really forgot."

"Well it's just that..."

He sighed.

Then he ate another spoonful of oatmeal.

"You're gonna give me shit for saying it."

"We've been friends for over ten years. I've already seen your shit. Literally."

A tiny laugh from him.

"Come on, man. Now's not the time to be a passive shithead."

"Alright. Fine."

He put his spoon back in his bowl.

"I was thinking about it last night, and I realized that the reason I never gave our friends their gifts was because... I never appreciated the time I had with them. I mean, getting opportunities to travel to other countries. Speaking at Cons all the time. I don't know..."

He looked down at his bowl.

"I guess I always assumed that since we were rich that there would always be enough time. Like we could buy more time if we needed to."

"That's stupid."

"I know. But it's what I thought."

I leaned back in my chair.

"So what do you want to do now?"

Holden leaned forward.

"Maybe I should send all the packages for our friends who have passed on to their families?"

"That could work."

Holden and I spent the next couple of days calling everyone, but no one wanted the gifts. They were all items that could be ordered in the exact same way online, so there was nothing really special about them.

Nothing personalized or unique.

Three days later, by sheer luck, I overheard these college students talking about a donation drive on their campus.

I immediately ran home (well, I ran to the subway) and told Holden all about it.

He agreed to it.

I really should've recorded the looks on the students' faces when they saw Holden dropping a big-ass box of miscellaneous shit into their donation box.

And that wasn't even half of it!

The school didn't want anyone else to miss out on an opportunity to donate something, so they cut him off at about twenty items.

But that was just the beginning.

A professor told us the phone numbers of places where Holden and I could donate his box of thingsTM, and we spent the rest of the day going to every single one of them until finally we were down to a box of thirteen items.

Unfortunately, we had already gone to all the donation centers in the city.

Not knowing what to do next, we decided to call Uber again and head back home.

The next morning (take a shot of water every time I say this), I was scrolling through social media when I saw a clip of someone announcing a giveaway that they were hosting.

And it hit me.

Like, literally hit me because Holden accidentally bumped into me while trying to get to the kitchen to make breakfast for himself.

"Sorry, dude."

"You should host a giveaway on your channel!" I blurted without thinking.

Holden turned around quickly.

"Huh?"

I got up from my seat at the dining room table.

"A giveaway! That's how we're gonna get rid of those thirteen items."

Holden crossed his arms and raised one eyebrow.

"Really?"

"Yeah. Got any ideas?"

"Hmm..."

Two weeks later, I went with Holden to the post office and watched him hand a box that contained a really fancy black jacket worth eight hundred dollars that was going to a very lucky winner in Oregon, to an employee behind the desk.

And that was that.

Two hundred and sixty five packages, finally gone.

I glanced over at Holden and noticed that his eyes were getting shiny.

But I didn't say anything.

Instead, I put an arm around his shoulder reassuringly.

= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =  =  =

Author's Note: I actually think this would make a very good short film. Maybe something for the holiday season or whatever. Also, 265 is supposed to be Seventeen’s debut date scrambled up (May 26th, 526 = 265).

[idontevenknowwhatislife]

i don't read flower shop au's because i'm pretty sure people don't actually know what working in one is like. even then, i'm writing a flower shop au right now from the perspective of the florist, and i've been consuming any info about flower shop happenings like a starved man at a buffet. can you expand more on the crazy shit you've been through as a florist and/or what you and other employees do on a typical workday? tysm

I am. So happy. To be asked this question. Yes, yes I absolutely can expand.

SO the happenings of a flower shop are different based on the volume of people it serves, so just a disclaimer I can only speak to my own experience, which is mostly in large, high volume city areas. I am also located in the USA so this is all US based.

Here’s some important things to know:

In a full service shop (one that does every day flowers and event flowers) anyone who does event work has special training for it that other employees might not have. This is because while mistakes happen everywhere, it is extra important to be careful with large and expensive orders that can’t be rescheduled or remade. It also involves a lot of coordination with the client and any other businesses they’re working with, which is its own beast.

Wire-out services are a thing. This is when people order flowers from you that have to go somewhere really far away, so you take the order and then push it off onto another florist. They are an absolute bitch and a half and (in my and many others opinions) have no place in the digital age where you can just call or order online from a florist in the delivery area. The issue with them is that there’s no way to guarantee that your customer is going to get what they want from a florist half way across the country, and there is an extreme lack of accountability there. Because now if that other florist fucks up, it’s still your problem to deal with.

Always verify funeral orders (time, address, etc.) against an obituary. You’d be shocked how many people get it wrong.

In most shops, flowers are bought either from wholesalers or growers. Regardless, they come in at least twice a week, sometimes more.

It is a common misconception that roses are expensive flowers. They are actually very affordable (about $2.00/stem where I’m located) compared to tropicals, peonies, and anything out of season

We do get material shortages, especially when a particular crop gets a new growing season. It can happen with anything, but is especially common with greenery and bulb plants, which are more likely to be field grown (where the weather can cause problems). Many others are grown in greenhouses, which are much more stable

The busiest seasons are the days leading up to Mothers Day and Valentines Day (we’re talking 10-12 hour shifts even in the most well managed fully staffed shops). December and anything with local school dances are also notable

Flower coolers are specialized refrigerators that are between 33-35°F, and have a relative humidity of at least 80%. Anything colder and you’re looking at freeze damage, anything warmer and your flowers open up too fast. This temp/humidity works because it basically slows down/pauses the flower life cycle

Lots of shops also sell little trinkets or giftware. Some sell plants instead, or a combination. Either way, most are not 100% flower, more like 80%

Everyone smokes weed here

Customers to worry about

LOTS of people come in thinking that they know how flowers work. They do not. Many of those people really like asking me to make “fresh” versions of the premade arrangements already in my cooler, not knowing that any extra flowers I have are probably older than the arrangements themselves.

There are lots of people who come in and are either retired florists or had some minuscule experience in a shop growing up. They think they know everything. They are wrong. Floristry has very distinct trends that are important for shops to catch up on and adjust to from time to time. Someone who designed a fashion show in 2005 would struggle now. Someone who last worked in a flower shop in 2005 would struggle just the same.

In weddings, 9 times out of 10 the mother is far worse than the bride

There’s always that one customer that comes in for peonies in August (their season ends the first week of July) or some other thing like that who just. Cannot fathom that flowers are seasonal.

In my shop specifically, first shift gets in a 6:30am. We don’t open that early, we just need to unpack the flower shipment that came in the night before and process it (rehydrating, proper water levels, preservative, etc.). There’s always that one customer who thinks they can come and shop just because the lights are on. No.

Many hospitals and funeral homes have accounts with us. This is fine, but the danger of doing close business with someone for so long is that they can start to get bold/demanding. We have a funeral home right now that keeps ordering casket sprays for the same day. This is very difficult in a high volume shop, because they are large and sometimes difficult to make. Big stressor for everyone involved

People like to share their whole life story at the register. That’s true of a lot of retail work, but it’s extra true when they’re buying flowers to give to the woman who stopped them from committing suicide (real interaction I had this summer)

Prom moms are some of the worst people. Imagine the worst Karen you’ve ever met, except this one thinks you can change nature for her.

I once had a man come in and ask me to make a huge arrangement for him that very second, because he wanted to save his marriage. He was going to sign divorce papers THAT DAY

Important vocabulary

A bouquet is wrapped in ribbon, paper, plastic, or another material. No vase or container

An arrangement is in a vase or container of some sort (or are otherwise held by something)

All of these are designs

Generally, flowers will be designed either loose in water (like you’ll see in a glass vase) or in a special type of foam, called floral foam or Oasis (brand name). Typically, we just call it foam, though some use Oasis (regardless of the brand. Like Kleenex for tissues). A full block of foam holds up to 2 liters of water

Flowers that go on caskets are called couch or casket sprays. The most common form is a “half couch” which covers half of the casket lid

Corsages can be for the wrist or pinned to the shoulder and are generally associated with women

Boutonnières are pinned to the left lapel of a jacket (or left side of a shirt) and are generally associated with men

Both of the above are sprayed with anti-transpiration spray (often called Crowning Glory, brand name again) to keep them from losing water

And just like any job that deals with the general public, we are tired all the time, but we really like to have fun.

This definitely covers the basics and some of my own personal experiences, but I’ve been doing this long enough to have a lot more to say if you ever have any specific questions. I also have a special POV as I have a degree in this field, which is not very common in the US, so I have some extra in depth knowledge to share if you are interested.

[mabinogifantasylife]

For the writing meme

F, I, N, V ✨

omg cenn! 😭😭😭 I’m still gagged that you read my mess

F. What stories are you planning for the future?

I have a folder in my notes app dedicated to rough outlines and right now I have *maybe* 7 WIPs in there. One of them is is called 'BB's Delivery Service' which is a semicrack fic about Balor as a maid and — yeah I know, I know. Classic Maid gacha a did number on me.

Also Loiscneach!!!!!!!

YES I have Talvmillet WIPs, BUT those are gonna have to marinate for a while until I know what I want out of them. That dynamic is more involved than Vaynemillet which is always a combination of 1.) arguing 2.) fighting and 3.) fucking to me

I. What’s your favorite work you did this year? Why?

It would have to be Pleasure in the Glare. Believe it or not, I was initially disinterested in Vayne because G22 came on the heels of G21 especially considering how long the wait was between G20 -> G21. I took the finale personally 😭 I knew Vayne was no good from the jump so I spent my first play through of G22 + 23 wondering what the hell he wanted. Then I got to G24 and that was where I was pushed over into BeimHive territory. Finally realized the guy just wanted some ass then die; that earned my respect. IDC how many times I say this but Dissonance in the Void is Vaynemillet gospel. Writing about fighting and fucking is so much fun!

N. Anything you were planning to write that never got written?

I feel like anything I really wanna write will come out in its own time, but this is never gonna see the light of day.

V. Which story was the most viscerally pleasing to write? Tell us your narrative kinks. 

Okay right now it's a tie between Pleasure in the Glare and Sweet Honey Sin. I like porn with plot; I could never dish it out raw like that. I have an entire Twitter circles (RIP) thread dedicated to the making of Sweet Honey Sin. For my followers - if you're nosey and not weird I've moved to a private Twitter for quote-tweeting nasty mabi fanart and talking about whatever I'm currently working on + snippets. Anyone can DM if interested.

As for narrative kinks per se, the only one I can think of is that I will always mention or reference “honey” or “gold” at least once in a fic in relation to my millet or something she’s doing. One day I might talk about her in depth, but honestly, I’m not the type to sit down and say “oh Adah likes such and such and only does this and that”. I’m her PR manager, not her biographer, if that makes sense. I’m learning more about my own OC with every story 🌸

On a broader level, if you've been following me for all these years (sorry), then you might have seen my various 'The Signs As' posts for whatever hot new characters are around. Towards the end of 2022 when I started writing, I began thinking seriously about character sun signs and now that I have more free time for other hobbies, I've gotten *really* into drafting natal charts for whatever characters I'm writing about. It helps SO much with characterization. It gives me a framework for their personalities from which I can cook up whatever behavioral nuances I want without making them feel OOC to the reader.

Thank you for the ask!

[thessalian]

Thess vs Ticket Issues

Anyone who thinks that nerds are childish and somehow lacking in adulthood because of their hobbies and interests really needs to watch us arrange a convention sometime. I'm not even talking about the money required to go to a convention. I'm talking logistics. Travel time, organisation of activities for every given day, sorting the souvenir budget. And that's just if everything goes right.

See, my mother booked a physical ticket when she bought me my weekend priority entry to MCM Comic Con this year, and it arrived on Friday. My stepfather brought it Sunday when he finished programming the new heaters (well, one of the new heaters; today's the other one, fixing a hole he made in a wall, and sorting out the boiler ... theoretically, anyway). The first thing I thought was, "Ooh, pretty". The second thing I thought was, "...wait, why does this only say Sunday Priority instead of Weekend Priority?" I mean, the envelope was opened, and Mum and David had already had a look, but they don't understand how any of this works, and anyway probably stopped looking particularly closely when they saw MCM on the flier inside and knew it was technically mine. So they obviously didn't catch it. I, however, did, and it's my ticket, so I was going to have to sort something out.

At first I thought, "Well, maybe it's only the physical ticket that says the wrong thing and the QR code is fine" ... but I was deluding myself because the card is honestly more like a gift card you can get for various shops than anything else, and that probably means that there's just a batch of tickets with QR codes on them for specific days pre-printed and sent out as appropriate, and I just got the wrong one. However, I did want to confirm, so I downloaded the app for the convention (entire conventions have apps now, which I'm sure is helpful but still will not stop being weird) and begin the process of activating my ticket, just to see what happens. I eventually get the text boxes for confirming individual day tickets and weekend tickets. Try my confirmation code in the Weekend Priority Ticket box ... before I even hit submit, it's telling me that the code is invalid. Put the confirmation code for Sunday in? No such message. So they sent me the wrong ticket. Well, fuck.

First thing I did was check to see if that had happened to anyone else. If it has, it isn't a huge deal on the places people complain about such (like, for instance, Reddit), at least not even under the best search terms my black belt in Google-fu could generate. Now, there was the option to email the con runners, but ... well ... much as I hate and despise it, sometimes you just have to talk to a human being for some peace of mind. So I called the line for queries.

Surprisingly, I got an actual person on the line right away. A person in a really shitty wireless headset who I could only partly understand, but an actual person. So I explained the issue, gave him the QR code on the physical ticket and the confirmation ID on the confirmation email my mother forwarded to me, and now all I have to do is go to the query desk with my confirmation ID on my phone and it'll all get sorted. And I had to go to the query desk anyway for an accessibility lanyard, so that's okay. I mean, I'm going to bring my physical ticket just in case they want to see it, but that's only because decades as a secretary has taught me to cover your ass and have all even potentially relevant documents to hand when you're dealing with an issue. Better overprepared than having to fumble for things.

So that's my spark of adrenaline for the day - I actually had to ring customer service and sort out a problem. Because seriously, Marion's coming for the whole weekend and my autographs are booked for Saturday, so going only on Sunday is not an option, even if my mother hadn't spent just over £100 for the ticket, the delivery of physical ticket that they screwed up anyway, and a souvenir pin badge that I also have to pick up at the query desk. Or at least a query desk.

Anyway, look, I adulted my ass off to sort out the mess the people sending tickets made of my con information. Nobody gets to tell me that going to a comic convention makes me less than adult.

[meadowmines]

OC-Tober/Tojoctober Makeup Day: WOE. ETSUKO BE UPON YE.

[In which Aoyagi gets obaterrorized]

The day starts off like any other. Aoyagi gets up, showers, dresses, heads to the cafe to feed and brush the cats and get the day's menu sorted, the usual. The barista and the line cook show up around ten, and Aoyagi leaves them to handle the place while he nips out to run a couple of errands.

He's coming back from his annual appointment with The Machine What Blows In Your Eye when his cell rings. It's the line cook. The delivery guy just came, he says, and the dude forgot to bring the milk.

Shit.

The line cook goes on to say he's already called the supplier (good for him) and bent the right ears in just the right polite and professional but pissy tone (also good for him) and the delivery guy will be back with their milk later that day. Unfortunately, he won't make it back out until after lunch rush. And they might have enough milk to make it through said lunch rush. He puts way more emphasis than Aoyagi likes on might. So Aoyagi makes a mental note to have a little come-to-Jesus talk with their supplier later on because this isn't the first time this has happened, and he ducks into the nearest Poppo to grab a bottle of milk to stretch that might into will.

At least, that's what he means to do.

The nearest Poppo has a single bottle of milk left. Well, it's a bottle more than they have, Aoyagi thinks, and he reaches out to take it out of the case. His hand closes on thin air. His bottle of milk, he realizes with horror, is on its way to the register in someone else's hand. Someone in a cheetah print sweatshirt, with a perfectly coiffed head of outlandishly blue hair.

---

Aoyagi has been living in Sotenbori for about three years now. Long enough that he's heard horror stories about Osaka grannies in general. Hell, he has to use his best customer service smile and voice on them at the cafe now and then. But he's never seen this particular one. He doesn't know how he hasn't seen this particular one, because between the ridiculous cheetah-print sweatshirt and the perfectly coiffed head of outlandishly blue hair, the lady would have to stick out like a sore thumb anywhere she went.

But none of that matters right now, because this old lady has just taken his precious bottle of milk right out from under his hand. He runs up to the register but it's too late. She's already paid and she's out the door.

"Ah, shit--" Aoyagi gives chase and how the hell does a little old lady move that fast!? "Ma'am? Excuse me, ma'am?" He zips out in front of her and meets the steely gaze of the kind of Osaka granny other Osaka grannies check under their beds for every night. "Listen, I'm really sorry but I really need that milk!"

"Well," the old lady says, utterly unimpressed. "Too bad for you, sonny. I might need it for my secret recipe. Did ya think about that? No ya didn't."

"Look, I'll pay ya for it! I'll pay ya double! I just need one bottle to get my cafe through lunch!"

"Huh." The old lady looks him up and down. And up. And down. And up. And down. "Yer a growin' boy. Least, I hope yer still growin'. Better drink yer milk. If you can find any." And with that, she turns on her heels and leaves Aoyagi with his jaw on the ground.

What the hell just happened!? "Buh," Aoyagi says, and the guy manning a nearby oden stall just cracks the fuck up.

"Don't even try with her," the guy snickers. "Trust me. Ya fuck around with that one, ya find out real quick."

---

He tries the other Poppo. The same thing happens. They have one bottle of milk. The old battleaxe snatches it right out from under his hand.

He tries the M Store. The same thing happens again.

He tries that shady bodega that turned out to be a triad front (but which still stocks a lot of great stuff) and finds several members of the local arm of the actual damn Chinese mafia shaking and crying under the counter about the devil lady that just cleaned them out of milk.

Shit. Lunch rush is coming up quick and that might is still hanging over Aoyagi's head like the Sword of Damocles and... wait, hold up, does Donki have milk? They've got all kinds of other drinks and shit, they've gotta have milk, right?

Donki has one bottle of milk. One. Just one. Aoyagi looks left. He looks right. He sees no cheetah print or blue hair. He reaches out a hand--

--and grabs nothing. And there she goes, milk in hand, making a beeline for the register.

"Oh no ya don't!" Aoyagi snaps. He scoots up in front of her, slaps his money on the counter, and points at the milk in the old bag's hand. "I'm buyin' that milk!" he hollers at the cashier, who is not getting paid enough for any of this shit.

"Well!" the old lady chirps. "Ain't that sweet of ya?" And with the smuggest shit-eating grin on her face, she slaps one of those candies that little old lady purses seem to spawn infinite quantities of into Aoyagi's hand and leaves. With the milk.

"...I did not think that through," Aoyagi sighs to nobody in particular as he trudges out the door, head hanging. Well, shit. All that legwork and he's got nothing to show for it except granny candy. He's just going to have to tell the staff to stretch the milk they've got as far as they--

"Get your hands off my milk, you hooligan!"

...the hell? What's all this commotion?

"Sorry, granny." The big yakuza grabbing for the old lady's bottle of milk does not look or sound sorry and neither do his two goons. Aoyagi can't get a good look at their crests, but they're definitely not Kijin men. "Boss wants milk for his coffee, and someone's been runnin' around town buyin' up every drop of the shit. We're takin' yours."

Aoyagi's first impulse is to say you know what, I don't see shit and turn around and walk away from this. But then the old lady tries to grab her milk back, and there's a horrifying smack and the old lady is on the ground surrounded by laughing yakuza and--

Oh HELL no. "Hey!" Aoyagi roars. "The old lady's a menace but there's a goddamn line! Come on over here n' try that with someone that can hit ya back!"

And bless their hearts, they try it.

There are three classes of living beings you just do not hit where Hiroshi Aoyagi can see you do it, if you want to live a long and happy life:

Animals

Kids

Women

And it's like he said. This old bat is the Devil incarnate but dammit, she still falls into that third category and fueled by righteous fury, Aoyagi dispenses the kind of mayhem that leaves three whole yakuza running for the hills and sobbing for their mommies the whole way.

When the dust settles, he picks up the abandoned and somehow still intact bottle of milk and hands it to the old lady. "Here," he says. "Now I feel bad about this. Go on, take it."

...why is she looking at him like that?

"I gotta ask ya, though... what the hell kinda 'secret recipe' do ya need every drop of milk in town for?"

"Ya take a whole buncha milk." The old lady slinks up to his side. Yes. Slinks. "Add a cup of honey and a quarter cup of almond oil. And ya pour all that into a nice hot bath with some rose petals on top. Keeps yer skin all soft n' supple. Wanna feel?"

"No," Aoyagi stammers, trying to back away.

"And since you're such a sweet young man..." She wraps both her arms around one of his. "You can even join me in the tub."

Look. When asked point-blank, Aoyagi will generally describe his sexual orientation as "just browsing, thanks." He likes looking at pretty girls and hot guys. Sometimes he even does something about that. But for a lot of reasons, some of which are equipment issues and some of which are it just be like that issues, he rarely if ever wishes to do anything about that with another living human person. But even if he were the horniest horndog to have ever horned upon this Earth, that would not change what Aoyagi does next.

What he does next is, he runs like hell.

That could be the end of it. That should be the end of it. But no. Oh no. She's chasing him. She's gaining on him, even.

Aoyagi fumbles his cell out of his pocket and speed-dials and doesn't even wait to be greeted. "Sir! Ya gotta help me!" he shrieks into the phone.

"Amano-kun?" Oh thank fuckin' God. "What's happened? Are you in danger?"

"Oba," Aoyagi wheezes into the phone. "Obatarian. Blue hair. Cheetah sweatshirt."

The line goes silent.

"Oh," Nishitani-the-younger finally says in a tone Aoyagi does not like. "Oh no."

"Sir!?"

"I..." Another awkward pause, during which Aoyagi ducks down an alley and pulls a stack of beer crates down in the hopes of blocking the old bat's pursuit. It doesn't even slow her down. Obatarian, hell! She's the goddamn Obaterminator! "Forgive me, Amano-kun," Nishitani-the-younger says in that same weird tone, "but you're on your own with that one." And he hangs the fuck up.

"Sir!? Sir!? Ah, shit--" And too late, Aoyagi realizes he should have been paying more attention to his route and less to his phone conversation, because he's just turned down a dead end alley and the old lady has him trapped. "W-wait!" he wails, hands outstretched and pleading. The obatarian does not appear inclined to show mercy. She just keeps slinking inexorably down the alley, undressing Aoyagi with her eyes every step of the way. "I-I don't--it ain't you, it's me, honest--"

"Amano!"

"Wh--" Aoyagi never thought he'd be this glad to see Nishitani-the-elder, but how the hell did he even... "Ojisan, what the hell--"

"I saw the whole thing." The old man slides in between Aoyagi and the advancing blue-haired menace. "This one's way outta yer league. I'll hold her off, you save yerself!"

"No!" Aoyagi wails. "Ojisan, I ain't leavin' ya to--what the hell am I gonna tell the boss?"

The old man glances back over his shoulder and shoots Aoyagi one of those grins that hints at the hellraiser he used to be. "You tell Yu-chan I went out exactly the way I oughta! Run, Amano!"

"I--aw, hell--" He's right. The old man is right and Aoyagi knows it. Knowing it doesn't make it any easier to watch her launch herself right at the old man like an estrogen-guided missile and... oh God, he can't watch this. So instead, he honors the old man's possibly final coherent wish and runs like hell.

---

"Over there!" Aoyagi yells some time later, with Nishitani-the-younger in tow. "He's--aw shit. Ojisan? Are ya dead!?"

"Dear God." Nishitani-the-younger skids to his knees next to the old man, who is flat on his back on the pavement. "The absolute monster..." He gets an arm under the old man's shoulders and hauls him halfway upright. It occurs to Aoyagi that this is the closest thing to panic he's ever seen on the guy. "Oyasan. Say something. Please!"

The old man says nothing at first, just stares into space. His hair is a mess. His tie is loose and a few of his shirt buttons are undone. His shirttail is halfway yanked out of his pants. His face is covered in thin, wrinkly lipstick prints.

"I got the weirdest boner right now," he finally says.

Nishitani-the-younger deflates. "He'll live," he says in the deadest pan imaginable.

They help the old man to his feet. He's a little wobbly and doesn't seem quite all there mentally. Which... is pretty much how he always is these days, so that's great.

"Hey, Amano," the old man says while they're helping him through the alley.

"Yeah?"

"Ya happen to get her number?"

"I've changed my mind," Nishitani-the-younger says. "Please stop saying things."