#they both think they're the brains of the outfit and it's glorious

[liquidisedfrogs]

EUROVISION ABSOLUTE FUCKING BRAIN DUMP

Tonight, the night where... some... of Europe comes together and sings in an ..... something way, is the night I am willing to barf my brain out onto a page and commentate on the entire thing start to finish. THIS IS JUST MY OPINION!! Strap in motherfuckers....

We started the evening with the performance of last year's winner Ukraine (MWAH) starring Kate Middleton for some reason and Sam Ryder stood on top of some building in Liverpool. I had totally forgotten how earwormy that song was. I literally can't get it out of my head even now. We saw the countries come out onto stage to a very random compilation it seemed. I think Australia stole Germany's flag though.

PERFORMANCE 1 : ALBANIA- WHO THE HELL IS EDGAR? - TEYA & SALENA I'm not lying here when I say I LOVED this song. I loved how it took so much inspiration from Michael Jackson in the dance moves. The girl with the black hair was mind-blowing. Like, she was unbelievably gorgeous. I'm not saying the other one wasn't- they were both incredible. I loved how much colour and enthusiasm they seemed to have. IT WAS SO RANDOM AND I FREAKING LOVED IT. Rank no.5

PERFORMANCE 2 : PORTUGAL- AI CORAÇÃO- MIMICAT The dress. Oh my god that dress was DIVINE. I loved how like bright it was to be honest. It was just so dramatic and it felt like it had a lot of variety. I don't really know why it just really appealed to me. Her voice is DIVINE too. Rank no.6

PERFORMANCE 3 : SWITZERLAND- WATERGUN- REMO FORRER I'm not lying when I say that this song brought a tear to my eye. It was so moving but god, that guy needed to put a few more clothes on. I really liked it. Remo Forrer can sing so beatifully and yet I didn't know who he was before tonight. That low note made my jaw drop. Powerful. All I can say really. The guy also reminded me of Noah Schnapp for some goddamn insane reason. Rank no.7

PERFORMANCE 4 : POLAND- SOLO- BLANKA I had to rewatch it cause it was kind of forgettable. Felt like it had been done so much before. I don't mean any hate by this but I just didn't like it. I wasn't as WOW as other songs have been. It gave me the vibe of the Stuck In The Middle theme mixed with Despacito. It just didn't feel if you know what I mean. Rank no.23

PERFORMANCE 5 : SERBIA- SAMO MI SE SPAVA- LUKE BLACK Perfection. It was so.... I don't have words for it. It was just fantastic. It showed so much talent and I loved the Graham Norton description of the nerdiness and that definitely came across so incredibly in the performance. It was just like smoke sweat and tears. I LOVED THE VIDEO GAME BIT. It's a great song, it's a wonderful performance. It's the best. Also, take a moment to consider how fit the guy was. This was no doubt the best act in my opinion but I know not many people have the same opinions as me so I'm accepting the fact that he's probably not gonna win. Rank no.1

PERFORMANCE 6 : FRANCE- LA ZARRA- Évidement It had such a french vibe to it for some reason. It's stuck in my head. I really enjoyed it to be honest. The outfit was genuinely on point and the vocals were stunning. The chorus kinda gave me Dua Lipa vibes but there's nothing wrong with that is there. The lyrics were kinda dramatic. Overall, I ate it up. Freaking glorious song there was just a lot of good competition. Rank no.10

PERFORMANCE 7 : CYPRUS- BREAK A BROKEN HEART- ANDREW LAMBROU Not memorable. It was quite sad. He's got a good voice, there were just better songs to be honest. It was quite repetetitive. I didn't enjoy it particularly it was just there. A few more layers would be nice. He sung quite high and it wasn't necessarilly appealing. THE FIRE THO. That arena must have been so hot. His voice at the end was beautiful, fight me. Rank no.16

PERFORMANCE 8 : SPAIN- EAEA- BLANCA PALOMA The bit at the beginning with the vocalisations (I think that's what they're called) was incredible. It gave off quite a middle eastern movie vibe which I wasn't expecting from Spain. Her top genuinely looked like it had been melted by heat which made me laugh. It gave off a Satanic ritual vibe. I liked the song but the electronic parts really didn't fit her talented and gorgeous voice. Rank no.22

PERFORMANCE 9 : SWEDEN- TATTOO- LOREEN I loved the vibes she gave off espescially in the introduction bit to the song, she looked like a batty pintrest witch which is a look I adore. Her hair was just stunning but for some reason it didn't look real, I don't know. THE NAILS!! God, they were so long. Her whole set was just tattooine(hmm maybe she thought about that) to me. It gave Wrecking Ball by Miley Cyrus. I really liked it. The whole song was so nice. There's not really any other way to say it than that. I really liked it though. I'm happy it was her that won. Rank no.12

PERFORMANCE 10 : ALBANIA- DUJE- ALBINA & FAMILJA KELMENDI I really looked forward to this one because it was a family quite like me and my siblings but I felt quite sorry because only one of the girls really got to sing in it. You could tell who was the favourite child. I loved the sister's outfits and the bit where it basically turned into the parents' love song was great. It was a good performance but it wasn't anything special. Rank no.15

10 down, 16 to go!

PERFORMANCE 11 : ITALY- DUE VITA- MARCO MENGONI I liked the top, make me one. He has a gorgeous voice. It was quite moving in some ways but I did get distracted by the trampoline guys in the back. I LOVED THEM. The lyrics were a bit random, I had it on translating subtitles. It was okay, I didn't think it was anything special though. It was a sway with your arms in the air type of song. He's such a good singer, I swear, I just didn't love the song. Rank no.19

PERFORMANCE 12 : ESTONIA- BRIDGES- ALIKA It was a magical song. I really enjoyed how it gave off fairy Elsa vibes for some reason. I don't really have many words it was just lovely. She has such an incredible voice. I loved her outfit as well it was fabulous. It was just a gorgeous song, I really liked it. She has such a powerful voice. It was divine. Rank no.8

PERFORMANCE 13 : FINLAND- CHA CHA CHA- KÄÄRIJÄ If you're here for a specific song, it's probably gonna be this one. The hulk forgets to put on his chestpiece and he's on the stage at Eurovision singing a heavy-metal-techno-pop number. I still can't understand what the fuck this song was about. It's really confusing but it's a bop. I'm just blasting out CHA CHA CHA CHA CHA CHA CHA in my brain the whole time. I really liked it. It was a proper random Eurovision song and I LIVE for em. The guy's got a good voice on him though, the prolonged shouting must have been hard. Rank no.9

PERFORMANCE 14 : CZECHIA- MY SISTER'S CROWN- VESNA It gave ballet recital gone wrong for me. It sounded a bit too like the winning song from last year for my liking but it was incredible with the harmonies. I didn't really get the hair message. They were doing feminism stuff but sticking directly to the gender roles traditionally set which I didn't understand. It was powerful and I did like it. Rank no.18

PERFORMANCE 15 : AUSTRALIA- PROMISE- VOYAGER I love watching forty odd year olds dance around on stage like they're twenty one. It felt like someone had gone through my playlist, taken the best bits from each song and melted them into a pot together. It is an anthem and I adore that. I loved the woman on guitar. She was so good. I loved the vibes it sounded like it could be in a video game and honest to god it was one of my favourites of the night. Rank no.3

PERFORMANCE 16 : BELGIUM- BECAUSE OF YOU- GUSTAPH The Boy George vibes were real. His outfit gave rich man goes on safari but there's been an incident with a red sock. It was a BOP like literally. I just wanted to do the macerena the whole time. The start bit reminded me of a musical I can't remember the name of. It was kind of repetetive which I didn't like. It was okay to be honest. Shoutout to the guy who was willing to be a furry stripper for this. Rank no.17

PERFORMANCE 17 : ARMENIA- FUTURE LOVER- BRUNETTE The singer gave me Ariana Grande vibes. It was average. It was a bit like an I'm not like other girls. She has a lovely voice but it did get quite lost in the other countries amazingnesses. It didn't really stick in my head so I had to rewatch the full thing whereas with most of the others I either don't have to watch it or I only need a memory jog. The getup was stunning. The boots should have had black laces though, it would've fit do much better. She's incredibly talented but there were better songs. Rank no.21

PERFORMANCE 18 : MOLDOVA- SOARELE ŞI LUNA- PASHA PARFENI Welcome to the stage... satanic yoga teacher. I liked it. It was so European. It was a great watch. It reminded me of the Mandolorian theme which is a massive compliment in my book. The horny women were great. (They had horns in their hair.) It was very Eurovision esque and I really liked it. It was quite funny and my little brother voted for it. Great song. Rank no.13

PERFORMANCE 19 : UKRAINE- HEART OF STEEL- TVORCHI After last year, I had very high hopes for Ukraine. I enjoyed it. I really liked all the staging it was stunning but it didn't stand out to me very much. The phantom of the opera guy got the night off though! It was a great song. It would be great at a festival, I can see it now. I don't have a ton to say about it. It was good but not mind-blowing. Rank no.14

PERFORMANCE 20 : NORWAY- QUEEN OF THE KINGS- ALESSANDRA This whole song makes make me want to yell with happiness. It just like scratches my brain for some reason. It was the only song this year that I had heard before and even though I had, it did not disappoint. I swear it was a whole vibe. Her outfit was literally straight from SIX, bite me. I loved it. I loved every second of it but there were better songs. The high note showed talent. I mean, I can do it but, but it still shows years of effort and training. Rank no.11

Only 6 left!

PERFORMANCE 21 : GERMANY- BLOOD & GLITTER- LORD OF THE LOST HUGE SLAY. I loved it. In my honest opinion, I would've loved it to be in German but I do speak German so it wouldn't be that hard to understand. They really reminded me of Ghost with the whole red satan type vibe and the song itself. The makeup was FINE! I mean that in an attractive way. The start was so INCREDIBLE. He looked and sounded quite like Bowie and if you know me, you know I love Bowie. The heavy metal singing was on point. I'm suprised that they came last because they were pretty much tied with Serbia in my book I decided the ranks at like 1 am and my 1 am thoughts are always the best. Rank no.2

PERFORMANCE 22 : LITHUANIA- STAY- MONIKA LINKYTÉ The start made me think of the Lion King- just getting that off my chest before I dive into this one. It was lovely, it was beautiful but that's not really the winning characteristics. It was incredible. It gave off the sort of 2014 'Fight Song' vibe which I feel has been done so much already. I want to be able to mark this one higher but I feel I can't because of how high rated the other songs are. Rank no.20

PERFORMANCE 23 : ISRAEL- UNICORN- NOA KIREL Before I say anything, this is just me putting my opinions out there to get them off my head. I really didn't like this song. It was weird and it wasn't a song that I enjoyed watching. It's started off okay with a slight Melanie Martinez vibe but honestly shit hit the fan pretty quickly. It turned into a feminine anthem and, to me, all those songs sound the same. The worst bit was the bit where she said watch me dance and stripped off and basically became a stripper in her dance moves. There were children watching. You can't do that. Rank no.26

PERFORMANCE 24 : SLOVENIA- CARPE DIEM- JOKER OUT This was one of my favourite songs of the night. I adored the whole performance. It was like a step back into the past when Eurovision wasn't as big of an event and they didn't have all the feathers and glitter. It felt quite wholesome to me for an unknown reason. Personally, I don't think it was Eurovision standard. It was a lot more indie than all the other songs and it popped out of the page because of that. It had a very different view and appearance to the viewers. I have listened to this song about five times this morning I like it so much. Special mention to the guitarist because you look fantabulous. Like, you're so good-looking I can't understand wether it's gender envy or attraction. I loved the fits by the way. Rank no.4

PERFORMANCE 25 : CROATIA- MAMA ŠČ- Let 3 This performance made me really uncomfortable. They looked like a rip off of the YMCA and the song wasn't that good to be honest. It was just a bunch of people's grandads singing a dumb army style song and then stripping off. It wasn't enjoyable, it was very mildly funny and I just really didn't like it. It wasn't as bad as Israel or the UK though. Rank no.24

PERFORMANCE 26 : UK- I WROTE A SONG- MAE MULLER It was really just a mid song. She doesn't have the nicest voice and the song choice emphasised that. It was really repetetive and definately deserved the ranking it got. I do feel sorry for Mae though, she must have tried so hard. The staging wasn't that appealing and her outfit didn't fit the set. I would probably rate it 5/10 if I was doing that but I'm not. There was a lot of good competition and it simply wasn't as good. Rank no.25

AND THAT'S A WRAP MY DUDES!!

I think Tattoo winning was a great descision. It isn't one I would've made but it really stood out. I do think Germany deserved a lot more than it was given and I feel extremely sorry for Spain who only got 5 points for the public because that must've hurt.

Shoutout to Sam Ryder with his really nice song at the end, I though it was great. Also, they managed to get ROGER TAYLOR for it. FREAKING ROGER TAYLOR!!!

Have a nice day/night reader and I hope you return next year for another unnecessarily long Eurovision rant.

[capybaraonabicycle]

Let me tell you why you should vote for Doctor/River!

(I'm going to talk about all Doctor incarnations here, but it's true, we mostly saw her fighting (together) with 11.)

They start off (in a way) fighting each other, or rather Melody/River trying to kill the Doctor. Which - while I don't really like that episode - makes for a rather fun and flirty back and forth scene.

Because you see, the Doctor already knows River very well here, and hence is convinced she can't beat him. His arrogance in this scene is incredible - even though I suppose he's using it as a defence mechanism. I mean, your significant other trying to kill you because YOU being you destroyed her life and then you messed up saving her on top is a rather difficult situation to handle. Part of him was definitely wishing she succeeded, too.

But he underestimates how clever she is - also he's just too damn smitten to notice - and how thoroughly she has studied him and prepared for this moment. And that becomes his downfall.

So she kills him but saves him, goes on to study archeology, kills him AGAIN, goes to jail (yeah, she is one of the punching bags of the series, don't ask). And then they finally get to fight together.

The most obvious example is when they take on the Silence together to save Amy. See, the Doctor does not really use weapons. They do a couple of times in the series, so we can assume they are a decent to excellent physical fighter (prob depending on the regeneration), but most of the time they use wit and manipulation.

And River is amazing with her brain, too, as we saw in the last scene already, but, well, as they say here themselves: unlike the Doctor she doesn't mind shooting people.

So here we can watch them work beautifully in tandem, saving the day and going on an absolute killing spree together, both in their own way:

Bickering inclusive as you can see. There's also quite some flirting which is incredibly sensual, how is this a kids show?, which unfortunately got cut from the excerpt above. So, I added a compilation of Doctorriver flirting at gunpoint for you:

Please keep in mind that - from the Doctor's perspective - in the Silence scene the two of them haven't kissed yet. Which River does not suspect, I mean, obviously.

And then, quite some years later, we see a later incarnation of the Doctor crashing a space ship together with his wife. And simultaneously beating a giant robot.

Here, they split up (after the inevitable flirting) and this time, the Doctor does the fighting and River the driving. I really like it in comparison to the other scenes. You can tell that they have grown older together, they know each other better and work more easily together. There's still some bickering but not about the fight, they know what they are doing. Still, they start working against each other at some point because they're idiots in love, but anyway, I think there's some visible progress here

Lastly, there is unfortunately no episode where they meet, but can you imagine watching River and the fugitive Doctor fighting together? The extreme levels of badass that would be?

I mean the fugitive Doctor is the incarnation whose first instinct after getting her memories back was to go search for her friend's gun (and another outfit) :

[ID: screenshot from the episode fugitive of the judoon showing the fugitive Doctor with Gat's gun. end ID]

Her and River would be glorious together.

Anyway, I'd kill to see River together with either of these two:

[ID: the 13th and the fugitive Doctor side by side. end ID]

fighting or not. But it usually boils down to either fighting or running away from some alien or other when travelling with the Doctor.

Also, let me just add a calmer scene without fighting, because we mostly see them under stress but they are so beautiful, too, whenever they get to breathe. It's the first night/last night minisodes, which I think give you a good little peek into the facets of their relationship:

Please vote for Doctorriver!

Battle Couple Battle Round 1!

Doctorriver (Doctor Who) VS Gokaiger OT6 (Kaizoku Sentai Gokaiger)

[albatrossisland]

I posted 1,637 times in 2022

114 posts created (7%)

1,523 posts reblogged (93%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@it-may-be-dull-but-im-determined

@scoundrels-in-love

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I tagged 688 of my posts in 2022

#science fiction - 46 posts

#tiktok - 42 posts

#gorgeous - 40 posts

#the ghosts of mars - 32 posts

#original writing - 26 posts

#cats - 24 posts

#brienne of tarth - 21 posts

#the wars at home - 18 posts

#ask games - 16 posts

#dracula daily - 15 posts

Longest Tag: 124 characters

#likewise i had a friend who rushed her wedding her because she wanted her parents to have zero say in life decisions for her

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

So cute, and so cold

11 notes - Posted November 21, 2022

#4

Found this photo in an album, and trying to figure out who this is.

I think figuring out the time period could help. Anyone good with history of fashion that could narrow the time period by her outfit?

11 notes - Posted January 9, 2022

#3

One happy boy 🥰🥰🥰

25 notes - Posted November 24, 2022

#2

Fic exchange recommendations!

Yes, it’s that glorious time of year again, were writers of all kind gather and share in our love of Brienne of Tarth and Jaime Lannister in the @jaime-brienne-fic-exchange!

From this year’s batch of excellent fics, here are my recommendations (definitely check out the whole collection, there is so much talent gathered here):

breath and bone - My gift fic! Brienne comes back to the Island to be with her dying grandmother, and it's so soft and tender, and the imagery is so good. A WIP, and I'm eagerly waiting for more.

Valiant - Dog fic! An animal POV that really works, cute and angsty and so good!

now you're out on the bottomless sea - a missing scene canon story, and I tell ya, hits right in the feels.

Don't Go Stag - A play on 'Shop Around the Corner' (or if you prefer 'You've Got Mail), it's sweet and charming and so well done.

Finest, Furthest, Most Unknown Edge - Bring on the sci-fi! Brienne is escorting the Stark girls home, when her ship crashes on a planet and they're separated. It's so good and I'm kinda mad I didn't write it.

longed for as the sunwarmed earth - After trekking south, Jaime is exiled to an unknown island, and left with his thoughts. Glorious.

I'm Betting Everything I've Got On You - The horse AU! JB are set up in an arranged marriage (!) on a ranch (!!) and it's the best kind of slow burn.

pillow talk - JB talk about their lives and their feelings and they kiss, and it's so, so good.

and then, love - A very soft and lovely story about the months-long Long Night, and the baby that gives Jaime and Brienne a reason to keep fighting.

Stolen Kisses - Brienne as a kitchen wench. Sounds silly, and it's definitely fluff, but the real story is duty and love and all that stuff. It's beautiful.

you come back with gravity - JB grow up together and fall in love, and it's a moving journey for both of them.

Plant Your Hope - A five-times fic about them kissing and growing as a couple, it's also a show canon divergence, and don't let that scare you off, it's beautiful.

WIPs

Mend - Brienne is someone who can fix anything, and Jaime arrives broken at her shop. Off to a great start, and can't wait to read more.

you who know what love is - Gah, the fic that is eating my brain. It's a regency fic, and I love it so much, just two chapters left.

Haven’t finished a lot of them, so there will be a part two!

96 notes - Posted August 10, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

1,362 notes - Posted August 14, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[jzixuans]

lmao prepare for two days' worth of gn post

(and once again big thanks to dani for recording yesterday's)

good happy things (x2):

i woke up early yesterday cause i'm tryna to get readjusted for the big ol s word

went to the mall n got a cute new outfit! it's like a crop top with blue stripes n it's Big Sweater Energy

my brother let me hug him!!! that quite literally never happens but he's very huggable 11/10 would hug again

i had starbucks twice yesterday, a tea in the morning, and my birthday reward aka a matcha frap, which wasn't that bad bc i got it lactose free so can i get a wahoo

got a new notebook it's gonna be my Bullshit Notebook™️ pt3

bonding with my brother !! he doesn't normally ask me questions about school so it was nice to feel smart n knowledgeable and have him ask me instead of other people

blink's Usual Dicking Around At The Apple Store aka playing on the ipads and drawing with procreate. did a mountain scene in a nice blue-green that i'm gonna see if i can recreate on procreate

all the birthday wishes!!!!!!!!!!!!! y'all i woke up to so many messages on instagram it was great

this (#7D86E5) rlly rlly nice purple

pad thai for lunch and then noodles again for dinner bc y'all know i love my noodles

and my spice tolerance is usually p high but that soup was SPICY but also Hella Good so like yeah totally worth it

cheap grocery store bubble tea but y'know Bubble Tea Is Bubble Tea and it's not a celebration if blink doesn't ask for bubble tea

my parents got me a new charm for my necklace, it's an angel wing n it's SO pretty

my brother got me the new adventure zone graphic novel and y'all this is gonna be the push for me to finally get into taz

getting to infodump about my love of (1) queen sarai of katolis

jensen absolutely murdered me w his birthday message i love him he's so good

vc with dani's darlings

extra point for vc bc dani and birk's company sparks so much joy

the birthday fic dani wrote for me!!

and extra point on that bc dani put logan dressed up as the little prince delivering a line that the rose said to him while parting but she made it a line that brought them together and y'all each time i think about that i get Tears in my eyes

the birthday fic lia wrote for me!!

lia killed me with sleep drunk virgil and y'all that fic is Absolute Gold 10/10 stupid dumbass gay fluff

elena made me cry over brotherly prinxiety and they're so GOOD and i'm EMO ABOUT IT

love and other fairytales

happy cat!!!!!

this one this cat

birk doing the dishes for an hour and a half is absolutely hilarious ilu birk never change

ikimaru and elentori BOTH posted on my birthday i am #blessed

dani appreciation for notating this gn post!!

and then today i woke up n it was real nice n sunny

twas a nice lil lazy day to just lounge around

binge like five eps of she ra and baled my eyes out

scorpia and entrapta have special places in my heart

so does bow

made a real crunchy she ra au on vc w dallas, birk, and jack

god lia's so good at sniping me i love her words and her brain and her passion for others

finally got my birthday shaved ice!!! topped it w tapioca, grassy jelly, lychee jelly, and pudding and it was freezing but it was SO GOOD

cats i love cats i'm wearing pajamas with christmas cats on them right now

so my logan necklace is finally shipping that's great i'm excited

started up a conversation with a friend from school that i haven't talked to all summer but it was great it flowed super easy and that's always the best feeling

actually scratch that i sat down in the chair at the restaurant today and the back support on that thing was GLORIOUS. now that's the best feeling

[starshineskyandthepowerofrock]

Rebuilt

Part 14 of Starshine, Sky, and the Power of Rock.

I'd tell you all about how betrayed I feel right now but I'm a little busy figuring out how to keep twelve inches of pure oak from ripping through my rib cage.

My first response I admit is a little stupid. I grab his wrist and try to push against him to move the stake away from me. The stake is frozen in place from our fighting forces. I can tell he's holding back because there's no way I'm matching him in upper body strength.

He holds me tighter against him, his other hand over my mouth after I try to scream. He's almost cradling me, in a morbid way. I'm kicking and struggling as hard as I can but it's no use.

"This could've been so much easier, kid," Boris whispers right into my ear. "Why do you have to fight?"

My guts churn. I can't let it end like this. After everything he's done he doesn't get to have this. When I die it's not gonna be by him. But it's a little hard to keep telling myself that when he's got his murder weapon inches from my heart. My arm muscles burn and shake. They're starting to give. On instinct I try to back away but all that's there to back into is him.

"I was trying so hard to make sure the last thing I said to you was perfect," he mutters against my ear. The chills send a fresh wave of muffled screams out my mouth and into his hand. "You're making this worse for both of us, you know that?"

I try to make the smallest change in my elbows to get some sort of leverage but I'm not quick enough and now my arms are bent and the stake just got way closer. And closer... And closer...

A magical blast knocks us over and the stake out of his hand. A second later I recognize it as the distinct, deep sound of a bass guitar.

There's Gossamer, decked out in green and black, holding her bass in a fighting stance.

"Gossamer?" I say.

She starts playing furiously, keeping Boris off my back. "Your Soul Player! Turn on your Soul Player!"

Oh, right! My finger finds the power button on the CD player on my hip. There's a flash of pastel rainbow and suddenly I'm in a different outfit that I'm too busy to pay attention to. What's important is the headset cushioned around my ears and the guitar in my hands. I can say the same for Boris. I guess we decided to transform at the same time.

Alright, Boris. Let's see what tricks you taught me.

I'm not sure what song Gossamer's playing but I figure pretty quick what sounds good with it and my hands are winging it before my brain can tell them what to do. Boris responds in kind, but now that I'm playing I'm not scared of anything much less some jerk that lures a girl a decade younger than him through the forest just to cry into her shirt and try to kill her when she doesn't give him what he wants.

Even though it's two against one, Boris has still got years on us and it's showing. But even if my boots are sliding back from the force of his music, I'm still keeping them on the ground. He's trying to push me into rhythm guitar with all those fancy riffs but I can get fancier.

I just barely notice what I think are the shapes of other kids coming into my peripheral, no doubt wanting to see where all the noise is coming from. I see the panic in Boris's eyes when he realizes these kids are armed, too. One super experienced guy may do good against two kids but not this many.

He slips up. Here's my chance.

I go for a guitar solo. My fingers dance on the strings so hard and fast I wouldn't be surprised if they started a fire. For a couple glorious seconds I forget what's even happening. Why I'm playing. All that matters is that I am.

By the time I play my last note, Boris has scrambled off and kids are cheering all around me. At least, I hear cheers. I think. I mostly just see colorful moving blobs right now. With my last shred of consciousness I turn off my Soul Player. The guitar and outfit, whatever they looked like, poof away.

Then I'm on the ground.

Then I'm out.

💙💙💙

It's nice to not have to dream for once.

Instead I wake up from blissful blackness to Star, Crescent, and Pearl all looking down at me.

"She's waking up!" Crescent says. A lady hushes her.

I try getting up but Star places a hand on my shoulder. "Hold on, Sky," she says, quiet. "Take it easy, please." She's worried sick.

I lay back down on what I realize is a pillow. I'm on a cot. I turn my head to the side and it turns out I'm in a nurse's office. I guess we made it back to the palace.

The nurse looks up from a book on vampire physiology and comes over to hand me a big to-go cup. "Drink this slowly," she says.

I do, and find out it's full of blood.

"I made sure it came from Guillotine," Star says. "He seemed eager to help. He took the needle like a champ."

I manage a little smile. "That's my boy."

I sip in silence for a bit. Pearl is awkwardly looking around the room. Crescent is staring at the cup, still not used to the blood-drinking thing. Star stares right at me like a mom making sure her kid drinks all his milk.

I get full before the cup is empty. I set it aside.

"So," I say.

"So..." Star says.

"How long was I out?" I ask.

"Like, the whole day. It's almost sunset."

I nod my understanding, not sure what to say next. I can't say I'm surprised that I fainted after all that, especially with so little blood in my system... wait...

"What happened, exactly?" I ask. "I know it was big but I'm a little fuzzy on the details."

Even Pearl looks shocked.

"You don't remember?" Star asks. "You beat a grown man in a guitar battle!"

"Beat?" Crescent chimes in. "You were shredding like your life depended on it!"

"Well, it did..." I say, memories starting to come back. Why were we fighting, though?

"Didn't you hear yourself? I've never heard someone your level play like that!" Star exclaims. "Sky, this is huge! Half the First Years saw it happen and they've been telling the rest of the school all day!"

"They what?"

"So many kids have questions for you, it's insane!"

"They what?" I start scooting backwards. All I remember from the battle is the worst feeling I've ever had. What happened?

"And Gossamer was helping, too!" Crescent says.

"Yeah, how did you get Gossamer to like you?" Star asks.

"Gossamer... she..." I mutter. She was the one to start it, right? I was in trouble and saved me and we fought...

We fought Boris.

Suddenly it's all crystal clear. Every horrible sight, sound, and smell rush back with so much force that I puke dark red all over the floor next to me. The nurse grabs the cup before my vomit hits it. Crescent and Pearl back away, naturally. Star yelps and scampers to the farthest corner of the room as if it's coming to get her. Sometimes I forget she's a princess.

Digested s'mores and horse blood bubble on the floor beneath me. Stomach acid burns my throat. My lungs practically force coughs from my body. It goes without saying I don't like any of this but if it distracts me from the feelings I'd almost let come back then I'll focus on the disgusting show like my life depends on it.

The nurse shoos the girls out and calls a janitor to help clean the mess. I hear her mutter about something something facilities something something not for vampires but I don't really care right now.

I don't even need to breathe and this room is somehow suffocating. I tell the nurse I have to leave. That I need to be alone right now. Not until I drink more blood, she says and hands me back the cup. I almost drop it, I'm shaking so bad. I say I can't drink with vomit right next to me. It's a lie but it gets me out of there.

It's when I'm in the hallway that I realize I have no idea how to get to the dorms from here. Whatever, all I need is privacy right now and this hallway is deserted.

I lean my back on the cool, polished wall and sink to the floor. I put the cup right next to me, not even considering trying to stomach something right now. I close my eyes.

The sheer terror of almost dying. The soul-crushing sense of betrayal. The hate for a guy that thinks he can treat people this way. The bewilderment from not knowing how to reconcile that hate with the love for a guy that turned out to not be real.

All of these feelings had crashed into me the exact moment I saw that stake but my defense mechanism forced me to ignore them until I was safe. Well, now I'm safe. So now all those feelings can come out and tear me to shreds.

As I sit there, huddled up in fetal against the wall, sobbing and sobbing into my knees where I pray no one will find me, the feelings are slowly replaced with something that's somehow much more dreadful: a deep, dark, black hole that's been ripped into my chest. I'm not 100% on what had been there before but now that it's gone I'm frozen.

Only because I desperately want to stop crying before someone finds me, I fall into this hole to try to see what it once held. I search and search until my tears are no longer of pain but of confusion. The worst kind of confusion, the kind where I don't even know what questions I'm asking let alone the answers to them.

I fight my way through a hurricane of thoughts, most of them barely formed, trying to reach the one that'll make this stop.

Belong. Make. Hate him. Love. Soulless. Destroy. Tear down. Tear it down. Tear him down. Tear me down. He tore me down. He made me. He tore me down.

He made me then he tore me down.

Well, it's an answer but it doesn't make me stop crying. If anything, I'm crying harder now.

What would've happened if I'd just given him what he wanted? What if I'd went with him? Maybe then we could forget about this mess. It'd be like nothing ever happened. I'd be surrounded by other monsters that I still wouldn't look like but at least they wouldn't care about my fangs or the fact that I'm undead. And if he told me he loved me maybe he'd mean it.

The thought disgusts me as soon as it forms. This is why I hate crying, it screws with my head. Makes me think awful things. Obviously I'd never go back with him no matter how many fake tears and "I love you"s he dropped at my feet. Because fake tears and "I love you"s don't wash all that blood off your hands.

Oh yeah. That's right. The thing that started this whole mess in the first place.

One of us is okay with killing people and the other isn't.

It's so stupidly obvious it gets me to finally stop crying. As I clutch my chest, impatiently waiting for my breath to still, the clarity floods me with a warmth my dead body isn't used to. Of course. Of course!

All these years I was convinced Boris and I were one and the same. I was just the younger, girl version of him. Looking back I don't think I can tell how much of that naturally came from us hanging out and how much of that was intentional on his part. Either way we'd both assumed we were way more alike than we ended up being. But the point where we diverge is so huge I could never, never let him decide who I am.

My hand slips down to the heart pendant again. I clutch the sparkling heart to my non-beating one. My chest is still. I'm not afraid anymore. My eyes sting in a good way. Like, the way you get it when a good cry gives you beautiful, beautiful clarity.

I'll admit, Boris did help build me. Then he tore me down. But I'm building myself back up all on my own. And this time, the foundation won't be cracked because I don't have him helping me. All I need is myself. And maybe a few others, but I'm not letting them take control.

💙💙💙

I do end up drinking the blood as promised. I can't say I did it slowly but you can't blame a hungry vampire for guzzling blood when it's right in front of her, can you? Jeez, I sound like Gossamer.

Gossamer.

Holy crap, so much was going on I barely registered Gossamer saving my life!

The thought stays at the forefront of my mind through me telling the nurse I feel a lot better and asking for the directions to the First Year dormitory. I try to chew it over on the walk there but still don't know what to make of it by the time I step into the girls' common room.

It would seem I'd also forgotten about all the kids that saw the battle.

"You were amazing!"

"How'd you get the guitar to make some of those sounds?"

"Did you write that?"

"Is that what the Band of Darkness taught you before you turned?"

The last question has me staring in very deep confusion. Star, who's been trying to keep the girls from swarming me, tenses up and turns to me.

"How did..." I start.

"Gossamer told us everything she saw," Star says, a bit sheepish.

"Where is she?" I ask.

"She's in you guys' room right now, but-"

"Thanks," I say. Then I leave.

💙💙💙

I find Gossamer on her bed as I'd expected. I hadn't expected all her sisters sitting there too. Their heads snap in my direction as soon as I open the door to our bedroom. The quadruplets are identical in every way, including the glare each one sends me. Gossamer gives me a glare of her own, but there's something off about it.

Judging from the way she'd aired out my dirty laundry like that back there, I can assume anything I say to her will end up being said to her sisters anyway. So I have no reason to care whether or not they hear what I have to say to her.

"How much did you see and how much did you tell?" I ask her.

Summer, of course, speaks up as soon as Gossamer tries to say anything. "Why? You worried about your little secret getting out, monster? Well guess what! Everyone knows you came here from the Band of Darkness."

"Yeah. I left them."

"Left. Came from. Same thing, don't you think? Who's to say the little fight you had with that werewolf guy wasn't a ruse just to get us to trust you?" Summer says, standing to remind me that she's taller than me. It's not that impressive, seeing as she's wearing heels.

"I bet he's really her boyfriend," one of the others (I can't tell them apart) says, making them giggle.

I'm shocked, not from what she said but from how my body doesn't kick into fight-or-flight at his mention. All I feel the need to say is, "He's ten years older than me."

They only giggle more. "Figures she'd have daddy issues with that fashion sense," another says.

"The hell does that even mean?" I ask. I'm not really anything other than annoyed that I can't have a real conversation. I guess there is a downside to talking to Gossamer when her sisters are around.

Gossamer finally pipes up, but it's not anything of substance. "Doesn't that imply that her father was ten years old when she was born?"

Summer grimaces. "Ew. What?"

Gossamer shrinks back but doesn't stop herself. "Aspen is accusing her of having daddy issues, implying she's attracted to men the same age as her father. But the werewolf is only ten years older than her so how could she-"

"Do you guys have a point or can I make mine?" I interrupt. I realize I've raised my voice at them. It feels good. Summer isn't able to hide away her shock fast enough for me to see it. I'll relish in that memory later. For now I ask Gossamer, "So what was it? Did you follow me?"

"I-"

"She did," Summer says. "She was suspicious the moment she saw you getting up and she followed you all the way to your little meetup with your boyfriend. She saw the whole thing."

"And then you saved me," I say to Gossamer.

"She-" Summer cuts herself off. The sisters all turn to Gossamer.

"Gossamer was the first one to start playing. If it wasn't for her, my 'boyfriend' would have driven a stake through my heart and I wouldn't be here."

Silence.

"Well," Gossamer says. "Who are you to say that's what happened?"

I scoff. "I saw you! Your bass playing is what knocked him off of me! You think I could do that with these uncooked pasta arms?"

Gossamer shrugs. "I really don't know why you're twisting the situation, vampire," she says. "If you thought my goal was to 'save' you then you're sorely mistaken."

"Oh, really?" I say. I can't believe what I'm hearing. "Then what were you doing when we were playing against him, side-by-side?"

"I can't say what your intentions were but all I was doing was fighting a monster the way I was taught to. Whether you came out alive or dead was no concern to me."

Of all the things said in this stupid conversation, that's the first one that really deflates me. "No way," I say, quiet.

Gossamer gets up off her bed, all grace. "Way," she says, walking up to me. She grabs my forehead and inspects it. "But I can't be surprised at your confusion. After all, your brain is entirely composed of dead cells. It's a wonder how you even form thoughts to begin with."

"It's what makes vampires so creepy," one of her sisters says. The others nod in agreement.

"Let's go, girls," Summer says, breezing past me. "I can't stand being around dead bodies too long."

Her clones shuffle out behind her. I grab Gossamer by the arm before she leaves.

"Why?" I all I ask.

Gossamer blinks, twirling a green curl around her finger. "I don't know what you're talking about." Then she catches up with her sisters.

💙💙💙

When they're finally gone I take the best bath of my life, put on my comfiest pajamas, and climb in my casket to listen to rock the rest of the evening. I even listen to the songs we made together. None of it hurts, because it's not him. He doesn't define what it means to me. He doesn't define me.

I define me.

[werejusttouchingeachother]

Okay I spoke too soon the last time cause I drowned in another exam that my sleep deprived brain had thought wasn't thaaaat bad for some reason (it was vvvvv bad) but!!!! I've had the entire album on repeat 17+ times now so let's go:

Disclaimer: this will probably be long + memorable lyrics in italics

OBSESSION :

The absolute way this entire track slaps--vocals, raps, adlibs, lyrics, choreo, outfit, the concept! EXO literally redefined dark concept like no other kpop group has done before and I won't go too into it because the MV as a whole is too brilliant to not be analysed by itself so I'll get into details then

TROUBLE :

Kai's "cool hago, mareun smooth hage" adds three years to my lifespan every single time I hear it, first off • The verses' slow beat building to the chorus' timed pace with that "trouble oooooh" is iust glorious, and the entire "good feels bad, bad feels good, wrong feels right, right feels wrong" is so addicting, it stays in your head on repeat • Kai's "Baby you're my goddess" is the single greatest goddess line ever sung after "Neon areumdawa neoneun goddess" (c. Monster) • Kim Jongdae's bridge, sweet lORD UGH

JEKYLL :

Okay this. Is my favourite track on the entire album so imma go off • Baek's smooth intro slowly transitioning into Jongdae's and then Chanyeol's smooth as fuck vocals before Jongin's and then. Then. The build to the pre-chorus with Baek's tone going slightly ominous "its do or die for me" followed by Dae's soft "its coming. Get ready." • After the creepy "warning", Them! All! Singing! Like! This! • Baek's moan • Dae's almost pleading as he asks "why are you pushing me away" • Again! This! As! They! Vehemently! Sing! "I'm! In! Control! Of! You!" • The way they've captured the whole concept of Jekyll, fighting with an alterego inside of you, with the slow build-up to the creepy, ominous prechorus that transitions into the chorus which is like a struggle as they try to quieten and plead with each other with the vehement yelling followed by the soft creepy pleas, its like the voices in your head that trying to overpower each other to be heard, its so perfect • Kai's "oh my my" • Baek's adlibs at Dae's and Junmyeon's part in the second verse • I love that Dae does both the "its coming, get ready" parts cause his voice just flows so perfectly and gives the exact vibe • the "oohs" in the choruses that everyone's dubbing as moans and I can't get over them cause they're equal parts-creepy, equal parts-sexy, you know the ones I'm talking about

GROOVE :

Okay tHIS ONE. this one stays in your head, I had it stuck in my head throughout the exam, the way I had to struggle to not hum out loud • Baek's voice fits this song soooo perfectly, the smooth sultry beginning and Dae's honey vocals' "tell me you'll stay" with the "oh, oh ohhh" at the back is just sooo lulling • the way the beat just pICKS UP • the entire chorus, the way they almost sing it in one breath and Baek's "I just wanna make you grooooove, babe", it shone so much for me throughout this song, his voice is so perfect for this kinda subtly-flirty and sexy vibe • SeChan's entire fucking part made my jaw drop at the way the beat changed and their rap-off just so smoothly transitioned and came through • this music. The flute. The tune right after Yeol's "urin pajjeodeureo kkuuuume" will stay in your head on loop, istg • the way all three members drag out and sing the "kkuuuume" right at the end of the chorus • special shoutout to my man Baek's "grooooove, babe" *falls dead*

YA YA YA :

Okay the second this song starts and the "you're the ooooooone" plays, all I can think of is how Kyungsoo would have made this song his bitch • the entire summer bop vibe this song has, it sounds like something you'd wake up to on a late Sunday afternoon, the retro vibes literally made me recall waking up in time for lunch to the radio blaring songs like these as a kid • who tf does retro vibe like EXO, literally who • that song that'll make you just bop your head along and then before you realise it, you're singing aloud "do you love me, do you love me not" and yelling "YA YA YA" cause those are the lines that do you in • still mad that Kyungsoo isn't part of this, I can just imagine how happy and passionate he'd have been performing this live ugh • I absolutely LOVE the way both ChenBaek sing "paboro mandeureoseo" it sounds soooo good • "baby give me some, cause imma give you some" looplooplooploOP • I love that they started and ended the song in the same way with the "you're the ooooone"

BABY YOU ARE :

This is one of the most summery songs I've heard of theirs in a long time and completely took me off guard cause I expected a ballad from the name or anything but tHIS • beach vibes, sunroof of the car down while you stay up, arms raised as the wind whips the hair in your face • the kinda song that you picture them singing with flirty lil smiles while you grin really hard until your cheeks hurt • Jongin shines so so much on this song, I dont think people give him enough credit for his vocals like yes, he ain't the vocal line but his voice is exactly the way he dances--honey-like and sultry beneath a fierce demeanour, his voice is husky and deep but there's a smoothness that flows when he sings summer romance bops like these in which it just shines gloriously (and this entire album has so much more of his clear vocals and it sounds so so heavenly that I'm actually falling for it bAEK CATCH ME)

NON-STOP :

HEY! A LIL BIT OF LOVE! MY LOVE NON STOP! The way the piano caught me off guard at the beginning right as it becomes -> beach! summer! sunny! I saw a lot of tweets talking about how they found this placement of the tracks in the album kinda off because of the positive vibe as compared to the rest and the fact that they're consecutively placed but I actually appreciate that cause it kinda fits well right after Baby You Are, the mood is more perky and uplifted + BYA sets the mood for this one • also if BYA is flirty smiles and setting off fluttering butterflies in your stomach, this one is just your heart pounding and your head banging as you yell the chorus as loud as you can • like, can you imagine the fanchants? "KKABEULKA! KKABEULKA!" "HEY! A LIL BIT OF LOVE! MY LOVE NONSTOP!" brooo the hype i can't even imagine without getting excited • the retro vibes again + summer + refreshing + its just so fuCKING FUN I DONT GET HOW PEOPLE ARE VOTING THIS AS A SKIP SHSNWJ

DAY AFTER DAY :

Kim Junmyeon's "geure bicheon nawaaaaaa" the lilt in his voice at the nawa the fUCKING LILT, MAN, CAN SOMEONE SAY HONEY • Baek's vocals and the adlibs and Jongdae's all of them blending together in a perfect honeyed harmony with Jongin at the end • Chanyeol. Fucking Chanyeol's singing voice has me weak • this song is like chilly evenings, watching the rain while "oneul doo" fills the room and makes you feel warm in all their vocals and the soothing music

BUTTERFLY EFFECT :

okay the intro had me already • I expected a very quick-paced fast beat song cause LDN like Monster but this was such a pleasant surprise • The chorus is soooo... idk how to explain it but it makes me feel really warm, like I can feel the song rushing through my veins and just exploding from within, the "you're saving my liiiiiife" with the "oh oh oh yeah yeah" in the back and "sara jijima" makes me feel so warm + "angel in my life" gets me grinning too, the warmth in their voices when they sing it, it honestly does bring butterflies • this is the kinda song you play during a long ride in the car late at night when you're on the highway and the kind that isn't toooo loud neither tooo soft but just the right vibe for a night drive • also @starlight-linguist pointed out that Obsession ends with "negeseo sarajyeo" which means get away from me while Butterfly Effect's last line is "sarajiji ma" (don't leave me) and that's just so fucking incredible and clever and brilliant • "angel angel angel" tell me you don't feel like blasting this as loud as possible in the car after hearing that, I dare you

OBSESSION isn't just one of the greatest albums of the year, its one of the greatest of all time and of all of EXO's discography, the versatility in all the tracks is surreal, they took this concept and went to fucking town with it -> the beats, the lyrics, the vocals, SeChan's raps, Jongin's honey vocals, Junmyeon's vocal range, Jongdae's literal versatility with every single fucking track and vibe, Baekhyun's adlibs and destroying every song as per usual, all of it is just the most incredible thing I've heard all year and I mean this in an as unbiased manner as possible but if you aren't listening to EXO, you're seriously missing out

In conclusion or TL;DR:

Stan EXO, stream Obsession

the end.

I'm finally listening to the entire obsession album without a terrifying exam breathing down my neck, today's a great day 🤤