#they asked if we ever see them again in classic who and the heartbreak of their face when i told them no

[boywhoswaiting]

Sibling just finished evil of the daleks and literally all they cared about was Alpha, Beta and Omega

[variousqueerthings]

on aroace queerplatonic doctordonna

@foxfables just answering you here, since it's easier for me than on the replies, cos wooord count:

1. a fair amount of espeeecially aroace fans of the show have talked a lot about how we read the doctor as aroace and a lot of the pain that comes with Companions is their often moving on specifically for alloromantic and allosexual reasons (whether or not they were looking for that from the doctor, lots of examples in classic!who of companions having not-at-all that kind of dynamic with the doctor, and leaving for a romantic relationship) and how that especially comes to the fore with ten's doctor -- and we relate to that pain

2. the doctor's and donna's relationship was specifically deliberately created to be a platonic relationship, going so far as to spell it out in their first adventure together in s4 and then making fun of the idea that they could ever be read as alloromantic in any way

3. "despite" this explicit non-romantic and non-sexual framing, their story was one of deep abiding love and partnership, with the doctor occupying a similar -- if not even moreso -- position in the noble family as they had done with the tylers or the ponds, where they were deeply embedded not just in donna on her own when she was out travelling, but in her family affairs. that's the "queer" of the platonic part -- they're not just good friends who meet up sometimes but have other relationships that are higher up the hierarchy for being romantic, they build their life around each other (clarifying queerplatonic partnerships can and do also exist when one or more people within them have romantic relationships, but the point is the hierarchy -- which we see when shaun arrives too)

4. and it all culminated in a massive heartbreak for the both of them, where they couldn't be together anymore, despite both of them desperately wanting that -- donna didn't leave the doctor, the doctor didn't leave her to a life that was "better" suited to her (which the doctor sometimes has made decisions about against their companion's wishes). it was a tragic queerplatonic story, and one in which the doctor ended up dying/regenerating alone after making sure that everyone else was fine (notably, this "fine" included romantic relationships in almost every scene of that montage -- sarah-jane is an outlier)

5. this story then, was asking the question over and over: why this face? why does the universe/the tardis always bring me back to you? what is this mysterious force that's making us fated to meet this way? and for awhile neither the doctor nor donna can answer that -- the doctor constantly talks about bringing donna home to her family, her life, because the doctor is used to eventually having to go off alone, and by now donna is married and has a kid. how could there possibly be space for the doctor in that? and of course donna wouldn't be able to travel again. it's as incompatible as it always was

6. and then the story answers that question by going: donna is the doctor's family. this face came back to be with donna again. they're not romantic, but they are partners, donna's daughter, donna's husband, donna's mother, donna's grandfather, are all the doctor's family too

7. the doctor didn't need to promise a romantic/sexual relationship that they couldn't actually offer, didn't have to become someone else, didn't have to twist into a shape they couldn't, they just had to let themself stop running long enough to understand that this is the love they deserve to have

that's the power of the doctordonna in the end. this is what this doctor ends up living for, not grand battles and great destinies. just loving your best friend and being loved in return. that is the final thesis of this entire era of doctor who, and it's very aroace queerplatonic in theme

[sgiandubh]

What happened with Barbour ?

Dear Barbour Anon,

My favorite kind of Anon, even if I know the question has recently been asked again and not in this corner. Never mind, I think it's time to talk about it, too.

I bought my first Barbour (entry-level, so olive) Bedale wax jacket 25 years ago, from their (long gone, now) shop on Boulevard Raspail, in Paris. It was a mandatory clothing item to own if you wanted to properly mingle with the law school crowd (it still is) and it ended up being one of my most prized possessions, possibly a part of me. I still have it somewhere, back home. Two more followed, along with a fetishist array of shirts, scarves, beanies and even one of those sturdy crossbody bags you can fit half a house in. So you can imagine my absolute thrill when I found out, very very late, that S had had a rather substantial collaboration with them, from 2016 and until 2019.

I am very bad with timelines, as you probably know and possibly even cackle about, but still: S was appointed as the company's first ever Global Brand Ambassador on July 16, 2016. His mission statement was very precisely defined by the brand and for some reason we'll analyze a bit later, this is important:

(Source, heh: https://www.astonbourne.co.uk/is-barbour-a-luxury-brand-unraveling-the-mystique-of-classic-outerwear/).

A shirt and vest signature collection followed in 2017 and 2018, with the contract being renewed. Advertisement was absolutely gorgeous and designed to shape a very positive image, both for S and the brand. Last autumn's SS Gin promo retained some of that irresistible aesthetic DNA and I discussed it at length.

See for yourself, Anon. The fandom endlessly discussed the first long clip (with the chocolate labrador), but I have no idea if these two have been seen, let alone debated. If they did, let that be my nostalgic mistake.

Spring/Summer 2018:

Fall 2018:

And then disaster stroke, with S's trip to Ha-wa-wee 1.0, in the spring of 2019. A short reel, featuring a rather agglomerated boat trip, was posted on socials. Unfortunately for S, it also featured an allegedly horrifying scene involving the 'traditional' bludgeoning to death of a tuna fish. Emotions ensued and as it often happens here, they spun out of control. Many people, including some of the most vocal S haters, tagged Barbour in their diatribes, filled with environmentalist indignation. They suggested this guy (who did not participate to the savagery and I would be even unsure he realized what was going on) was, by no reasonable means, a proper 'embodiment of the brand's identity, values and aspirations' (remember that mission statement?).

Tone deaf as ever in the midst of a serious PR crisis, S put friendship above anything else, and publicly praised the boat's owner, calling him 'the heart and soul of the island', if I remember well. I still would like to think he has no idea what the hell exactly happened. And then, when somebody finally (August 2019) asked Barbour on Insta about their collaboration with S, they got this politely dry, but clear answer:

"We don't have any plans for a collaboration with SH in the near future" means, in my book and to my understanding, "we are never going to work with this guy again". Truly, some people in here who dare to give morality lessons to others, should be proud of themselves: they did it knowingly and in a very organized way, using multiple sock accounts, to give the impression of a collective retching reflex. To cut the story short, the dread of any ad campaign on this planet.

The effort was genuine. The result of that collaboration was very good. Take, for example, this somewhat heartbreaking customer review by an American guy who has no idea who SRH is and who bought one of those jackets from a Barbour factory warehouse, in 2021, with a hefty rebate (70% off). Clearly something Barbour wanted to get rid of at all costs - what a pity and really what a SHAME on all those hypocrites who will never admit to a public assassination by the book:

This time, I am absolutely not sorry for the length, Anon. This is something that still makes me boil. Unfairness and cheap nastiness simply disgust me.

(Thank you, sweetheart, for the screenshot, always. You know who you are 😘😘😘).

[tragicbeauty1991]

So I know I’m extremely late to the party, but I FINALLY got around to watching Wish now that it’s up on Disney+ and…I genuinely don’t understand why it got so much hate?? Sure, maybe it wasn’t on par with things like The Lion King or Frozen in terms of the lasting effect it’ll have on pop culture but it was still a good, fun film with original characters and plot and catchy songs. While I can see where some of the complaints are coming from, I feel like ultimately most of them blow the issues out of proportion. As for my personal thoughts on the film…

- The songs were good overall. Maybe not as memorable as some of my favorite ‘90s Disney jams, but topping Phil Collins and Elton John is admittedly hard to do. Ariana DeBose and Chris Pine were great, though. I honestly had no idea Chris Pine could sing so well. “At All Costs” was by far my favorite song of the entire film. I would have loved to see it as a love duet rather than singing to the wishes but regardless, it’s beautiful. “This is the Thanks I Get” got a lot of flak, but honestly, I thought it was catchy and fun—rather reminiscent of Gaston’s pub song about himself.

- Speaking of Magnifico… More backstory, please! I would love for a sequel to do what they did with Frozen and explain all the things that were not fully developed in the first film. I want to know details on what happened to Magnifico’s family… But man, oh man… Was I EVER happy to get a “real villain” again with more of a classic Disney feel—dramatic, over the top, a little unhinged…and just FUN. I think the reason so many people seem to be having a problem with him is that they don’t quite know how to categorize him, though, before his ultimate downward spiral after being possessed by the book. (I think after that point, no one would argue about him being a villain.) But before…while he’s definitely narcissistic and has a temper…he’s not straight-up evil. There’s a big difference in being a bit of a jerk and being someone who makes you legitimately fear for your life. In fact, we have several heroic characters in the Disney canon who at least start out their story in a similar vein. Prince Naveen, Peter Pan, and Emperor Kuzco, for example, are all full of themselves and entitled…but they ultimately choose to do the right thing when it comes down to people they care about. That is to say, Magnifico’s less than ideal character traits we see early on in the film shouldn’t automatically qualify him as a villain. He could frankly go either way. And then when he does “go dark” it’s ONE stupid decision on his part (going for the book) that ruins any chance he had of being like the aforementioned characters. Personally, I like the complexity…and the tragedy of what it means for Queen Amaya. Which reminds me…

- Yes, a villain power couple would have been fun. But honestly, I think I like this better. Partly because of the angst potential here. For all his faults, Amaya DOES genuinely love him, and watching him slowly lose his mind and himself to the power-hungry monster he becomes has to be absolutely heartbreaking for her. Also…maybe it’s just because I identify with Amaya here. I have been in a bad relationship where I did truly love the other person and thought they loved me…but ultimately, they seemed to love themselves more. And I made excuse after excuse for his behavior for a long time because I couldn’t see what he was doing to me…didn’t want to see it…because I loved him. People say Amaya had to have known sooner that something rotten was going on but I don’t know that she ever allowed herself to think anything other than the best of him. Amaya has a good heart…and sometimes those people see the best in others even when it isn’t there. What I really would have loved is to have Amaya and Magnifico sing a short reprise of “At All Costs” in which Amaya is asking, “Really? You’ll hoard all these wishes for your own selfish reasons even at the cost of losing your people’s love? Of losing me?” And Magnifico is just…stoically resolute. That would have hurt but it would have been so good!

- Similarly, I don’t get the complaint about Star. I wouldn’t mind seeing Star Boy like he was in the concept art and having a romance with Asha. But also…Star is ADORABLE, okay?? He may not speak but he has so much personality. Makes me think of like…Pascal in Tangled or even Tinkerbell.

- I know a lot of people complained about there being too many references to other Disney films but this just seems like a silly argument to me. Disney has always liked to leave little Easter eggs in their films and have some fun with crossovers. I am thinking of the Genie imitating Pinocchio and pulling Sebastian out of nowhere in Aladdin. Hidden characters in the background of other films like Flynn and Rapunzel showing up in Arendelle. Hidden Mickeys. And of course shows that were all about a Disney multi-verse that sort of pokes fun at itself like Once Upon a Time, House of Mouse, and even Ralph Breaks the Internet. With this being a special anniversary film, of course we ought to expect more nods to other films and Disney animation history. I thought it was cute. Especially Magnifico’s jab at Asha’s little moving drawing. (“Is that a talent?”) Made me literally laugh out loud.

- I think the one complaint I do agree with at least in part is the, “But Magnifico was right, though??” Some dreams shouldn’t come true. Especially if it’s a wish you’re making when you’re 18. There are definitely things I wished for at 18 that I am glad I did not get in hindsight. Sometimes what we wish for isn’t what’s best for us or others. And while Asha’s wishes are selfless and for others…she seems to assume that everyone else will also have equally harmless, selfless wishes. It’s sweet but perhaps a bit naive. Also…Asha has good intentions but it is rather funny and frustrating as the adult to watch this teenager come in and try to upset the whole system thinking she knows better than the person who has been running the kingdom for years. That said… Asha isn’t totally wrong either. The wishes do ultimately belong to the people who made them and it’s better even if it’s painful to have a dream in your heart than to be lacking purpose. It may be easier to forget the wishes entirely but certainly not healthier. Ironically, if only these two could have worked together, they actually would have made a great team.

Overall, I liked the film. And I think if I was still a child myself, I would have enjoyed it even more.

[sunrisemill]

✮From the start✮ Finale

Chris and y/n have always been inseparable, they’ve always relied on each other but what happens when one of them falls?

Pt.1 Pt.2 Pt.3 Pt.4

(one year later)

“Hey, Chris.” I call out from the living room. I hear him shuffling in the kitchen before he walks into the room with two bowls of popcorn and a wide grin on his face. “Yeah, baby?” I’ll never get used to that name, I used to think people who used pet names were absolute weirdos, that was until I started dating Chris…Now I’m that weirdo. “Is it my turn to choose the movie tonight?” I tilt my head as I move over on the couch to make room for him. “Yeah, it is. You took away my privilege to choose after I made you watch the exorcist, remember?”

He has a cocky smirk on his face as he plops down on the couch, he makes a little grunt as he does and instantly shoots me a look. “Don't start.” I bite back a grin and turn to face the TV. “What? I didn't say anything…”  “You don't have to. I can tell from that look alone.” I try so hard, I really do. It's like second nature to call him a grandpa. I’ve been praying that this is the year he’ll let me dress him up as a grandpa for Halloween. “So, what’re we watching?” He asks, shovelling a pile of popcorn into his mouth in the process. Now…any sane person would say that's disgusting, but I’ve learnt throughout the years that im far from sane. “Oh, I was just thinking of watching an absolute classic.” I say as I click on the movie, the poster flashes on the screen and the title pops up, 13 going on 30. “Oh my god.” he groans and I giggle in response. “Maybe next time don't put on the exorcist.”

~~~~

It's now gotten to my favourite part of the movie, the wedding scene. Ever since I was a little girl I would watch this part over and over again to feel something. It was a heartbreaking moment for 10-year-old me, the way Matt kept her dreamhouse after all those years apart always brought a tear to my eye.

I can feel my emotions slowly building up when I hear sniffling above me. My eyebrows furrow with confusion as I lift my head from Chris’ chest and im met with the sight of a teary-eyed Chris. “Oh my god…are you crying?” I can’t help but feel a sense of protectiveness over him in this moment, seeing him like this over a movie is so sweet…pure almost. “Shut up.” He grumbles like a little boy as he sniffles again, bringing a hand up to wipe the tears out of his eyes. I smile softly, I reach out and pull him close to my chest. “It’s okay, baby. Don't be embarrassed.” I whisper into his ear and I feel him slowly relax into my touch.

“ It’s just so sweet that he’s always loved her, from the very start. But they had one fight and it ruined everything for them. It makes me wonder…what would've happened if we ended up like that. I don't wanna marry some chick named Wendy when I know that you love me, you know?” He looks up at me with watery eyes and my heart breaks. “I don't want you to marry some chick named Wendy either. He chuckles.

I watch as his expression changes, a more loving look is plastered on his face, He brings a hand up to gently cup my cheek. The tenderness of his touch sends a swarm of butterflies throughout my stomach “I love you so much Y/n, never forget that.” Before I could even reply he leans forward and presses his lips against mine. The way he treats me in situations like this always makes me weak in the knees, he handles me like im some delicate flower in the palm of his hand. As he pulls away, I take in a deep breath and reply.

“I love you too, Chris…I’ve loved you from the start.”

THE END.

(A/n: AHHHH OMG ITS DONE!!! I just want to thank everyone who read it and actually liked it, this was the first story I’ve ever written so it’s my baby now 👩‍🍼👶 call me a mother I guess)

Tags: @guccifrog @junnniiieee07

[mooseyspooky]

Why do you think Morrissey has been acting like this lately? Is it because Marr turn down a reunion? I don't think he only wanted the reunion for the money. I also feel like Morrissey feels irrelevant and forgotten and thought that maybe a reunion might give a new life to his career

Darren asked me about this yesterday, and I wrote a whole essay about it. I think just copying it here will be a good answer to this.

Darren: How are we feeling about the moz and Johnny news

Me: Pretty indifferent. Same shit another day. I mean they survived the court case and banged all the way through the early to mid 2000s to 2009

Moz having a tantrum is nothing new

I was very sad to hear Johnny said no to a reunion

But it's not like I don't get it

Andy passed last year

Johnny wanted Moz back in 2008 and Moz ghosted him after promising he was totally on board

Moz didn't show up for the 2006 fundraiser concert for Andy's dad's cancer

Which is pretty ruthless

Moz clearly hasnt opened a single email Johnny sent him since 2018 when Johnny filed the trademark and tried to get him to cosign

Which is insane because Johnny did it specifically to stop Mike Joyce (the Classically Smiths venture that he tried roping Andy into, though Andy backed out at the last minute. Some say because of his cancer, but I'm sure Johnny being so pissed off about it he got lawyers involved was also a part of it)

Which is literally something Moz should be gagging to do at all times 24/7

And meanwhile nothing

And then Johnny continued to try, even sending the paperwork again this year in January and nothing

So i mean why would Johnny want a reunion

Moz wants it to happen a year after Andy is buried, it's too late

Does it hurt I don't get to see them together on stage ever, yes, but I'm not like

Demented

If I was Johnny I'd be so fucking tired

Like beyond exhausted

Sharing a stage with him?

Putting up with him on tour?

Moz canceled over 50% of shows last year

No explanation, sometimes on the _day of_

Just wouldn't do them

I mean Johnny won't cancel a show if his grandma dies

Moz just

Cancels cause it's a slightly breezy day out and that offends him

Yes I love Moz, I am his ride or die, I will go to my grave obsessed with him and everything about him

But I am aware and understanding he is extremely fickle and can be very stupid

This is all happened, literally all of it, cause Johnny made very light fun of him on Twitter

Like barely a joke

Johnny saw some popular girl on Twitter who is a super fan

Saw she mentioned a reunion

Didn't tag him

And Johnny posted a picture of a far right dude in England that Moz protested the treatment of in prison one time like- i don't know. 7 years ago

They put the guy in a prison where he was at high risk, and Moz made a slight offhanded comment saying it was cruel

So now here we are, with Johnny posting a picture of a guy

To a Smiths super fan

Who didn't tag him

Who mentioned a reunion

Because she saw Oasis get back together

And Moz got _so upset_

He decided to throw an absolute shit fit

And now Johnny has to be like literally can you calm down

And in some ways I understand both sides

Moz just

His sort of...recurring thing

Is that he really really hates when Johnny won't stick up for him

Or when Johnny is quiet when people are dog piling on him

Johnny did that a lot in the 90s

During the NME smear campaign, for instance, and the court case

And it really broke Moz up

Like, and I can imagine it did hurt

To be so close and so in love and meanwhile Johnny won't do anything. Just sit there and refuse to say anything

That's probably heartbreaking

Especially with Moz being so. Like. Blindly in belief that Johnny is forever innocent, forever perfect ("the always innocent young cabin boy")

There is no flaw

But Johnny is a human being, too, who has a lot going on

And to then see Johnny, here in 2024, once again. After 30 years not stand up for him

But instead making teasing posts on Twitter

Even if they're not cruel

I could see it causing Moz to have a meltdown

Should he be? At 65? No. He should be over it

But he's not

He still wants Johnny to love him, to defend him

And so yes he did have a total split from sanity for a bit but at the end of the day. I think the underlining thing is is that it stems from Moz being so deeply infatuated with his first love that he can't stand even the slightest notion Johnny isn't still as infatuated with him

Johnny was able to move on, to continue to keep his marriage, he was able to maintain friendships and have a lot of normal stuff that Moz couldn't because autism

Undiagnosed unrecognized autism but all the same

Moz is still, in his mind, deeply entrenched in the belief that Johnny is perfect and slight diversions from that cause major malfunctions

Moz clearly doesn't give a shit about the trademark thing. He's ignored it since 2018. Moz has talked about loathing albums being repackaged (Paint a Vulgar Picture), so clearly the greatest hits thing doesn't really bother him

Moz wanting a reunion, sure. Okay. Maybe that stung but my god he had to expect it

So what does Moz care about?

Johnny

That's it. Period.

He wants Johnny to love him and be obsessed with him forever, and that's the long and the short of it so.

[13thdoctorposts]

What are your fave episodes of Thirteen's era?

This is the hardest question I’ve ever been asked.

The woman who fell to earth will always have a huge soft spot with me because it was the beginning of something that became so magical.

I think Rosa, Demons of the Punjab and Witchfinders were probably the strongest episodes of Series 11 for me. And I’m also a Kerblam fan. lol

With series 12 I loved the Doctors and Masters Arc so Spyfall and AotC/TTC but my most rewatched are probably NTNoT, Praxeus and HoVD,

I adore all of Flux and see it as a single story, but I adore 13 in WoS and Yaz in SotF the most though out that story.

I also love that we have like a Dalek trilogy with the New Year specials and often find myself returning to them.

I’m a big fan of LotSD I think it’s an enjoyable story, Dan is hilarious, the guess cast especially Madame Cheng are great. Flirty 13 is my favourite 13 and the heartfelt and heartbreak of Thasmin make it an absolute favourite.

Power of the Doctor is the best regeneration episode of NuWho (maybe all who but I haven’t seen classic who) it’s just a fun ride with Yaz at her peak and such a heart breaking conclusion.

If there was only one part of 13s era I could ever watch again it would be Flux it’s what I gravitate to most when I want to rewatch. However if you said you can only pick 3 it would be The woman who fell to earth, Eve of the Daleks and Legend of the sea devils. If it could only be 1, this is probably controversial but it would be Legend of the Sea Devils. lol

Anyway that was probably a way longer answer then you wanted or needed 😂

[evilwickedme]

1-5 about Jason/Red Hood

1. Why do you like or dislike this character?

It's 4:58 am as I start answering this ask and I might descend into delirium as I write this but. Firstly we have to get this out of the way yes I have a crush on him okay moving on. I've said this before but like. He was reintroduced as a batman villain. Maybe the most tragic batman villain? Maybe one of the most tragic comic book villains ever? Cause even as he manages to outsmart batman - I meant to say this earlier, actually, I think it's so cool that he outsmarted batman this is never brought up again but like HE WON if it weren't for the human element of actually getting Bruce to let him kill the joker. But okay back to the sentence - he still refers to Bruce as his family. Again and again it's made clear that that was his dad, goddammit, and the tragedy of it is so heartbreaking. One of the only moments I truly loved in RHATO 2011 is when Jason gives up his happiest memory - Bruce staying home from patrol with him when he was sick during his robin days. For one what a sweet fucking moment. Secondly it further shows the tragedy of it all - he was happy, and that happiness itself is part of the reason it all hurts so much. And yeah I get it in a lot of ways. And again I also just think he's cool and kicks ass but like the themes. THE THEMES

2. Favorite canon thing about this character?

That he's a book nerd who loved going to school

3. Least favorite canon thing about this character?

Mmmmm most of the writing is bad yeah. Makes it hard to choose. Also the fact that like so much is dubiously canon? Idk I'm just gonna say the fact that they gave him to Scott Lobdell for so long

Edit: OBVIOUSLY I should've written here the idea that he was the violent robin

4. If you could put this character in any other media, be it a book, a movie, anything, what would you put them in?

Well he's already in comics, animated movies, and live action tv shows so. I guess a book is all I have left? Or a really good live action movie which seems unlikely

5. What's the first song that comes to mind when you think about them?

OH MY GOD I LOVE THIS QUESTION it's my tears ricochet by Taylor Swift herself like. Okay oh my God prepare yourselves

We gather here, we line up Weepin' in a sunlit room, and If I'm on fire, you'll be made of ashes too Even on my worst day, did I deserve, babe All the hell you gave me? 'Cause I loved you, I swear I loved you 'Til my dying day

So this first verse describes a funeral (the song is from the pov of a ghost) and like. Jason dies in an explosion so the fire thing makes complete sense. And I read the song as Jason talking NOW so he's like, even though I disappointed you and died needlessly, did I deserve the treatment I've received since? A batarang to the throat, being beaten half to death, the distrust and cruelty? Cause you were my dad till the moment I died (and I still want you to be I still want you to be I still want you to be)

I didn't have it in myself to go with grace And you're the hero flying around, saving face And if I'm dead to you, why are you at the wake? Cursing my name, wishing I stayed Look at how my tears ricochet

So the prechorus and chorus really hammer home the point of the song which is I'm right here, why can't you see me? But then this first prechorus has the bonus of also referring to the person the pov character is talking to as a hero flying around, evoking the classic image of a superhero. Bruce if you love me, why won't you look at me and see I'm here. Bruce if you loved me, how could you build that shrine to a kid that never was.

We gather stones, never knowing what they'll mean Some to throw, some to make a diamond ring You know I didn't want to have to haunt you But what a ghostly scene You wear the same jewels that I gave you As you bury me

I don't have as much to say about this verse but I do think the imagery of throwing stones sort of inherently invokes glass houses, and I do think that matches Jason's pov. Also: as you bury me - literally and figuratively. You left me in the past and moved on. Never mind that he didn't actually, that's how it feels.

I didn't have it in myself to go with grace 'Cause when I'd fight, you used to tell me I was brave And if I'm dead to you, why are you at the wake? Cursing my name, wishing I stayed Look at how my tears ricochet

CAUSE WHEN I'D FIGHT YOU USED TO TELL ME I WAS BRAVE!!!!!!!

And I can go anywhere I want Anywhere I want, just not home And you can aim for my heart, go for blood But you would still miss me in your bones And I still talk to you (when I'm screaming at the sky) And when you can't sleep at night (you hear my stolen lullabies)

I literally named one of my fics, one that's about the days after Jason's death, stolen lullabies, because. Ffs. He was just a kid. HE WAS JUST A KID. And you can aim for my heart go for blood hurts so much more if you're thinking about the batarang not just physically (also physically) but also symbolically what it meant. I choose the joker over you, Jason. Maybe that isn't what it meant to Bruce, but it is definitely what it meant to Jason. Anywhere I want just not home... "Cause he took me away from you".........

I didn't have it in myself to go with grace And so the battleships will sink beneath the waves You had to kill me, but it killed you just the same Cursing my name, wishing I stayed You turned into your worst fears And you're tossing out blame, drunk on this pain Crossing out the good years And you're cursing my name, wishing I stayed Look at how my tears ricochet

The battleships..... All they do is argue and clash and mourn the relationship they used to have. "You had to kill me but it killed you just the same" are we talking about the way Bruce buried his son and it killed him? Are we talking about the betrayal of his morals at the end of UTRH? and then also YOU TURNED INTO YOUR WORST FEARS!!!! Bruce sunk into his grief and will NEVER be the same. Crossing out the good years..... A little meta but this is where I think about how DC has been trying to rewrite Jason's robin run as him being "the violent one" when in fact he was the biggest goddamn nerd. Like the tragedy of it all ...

Look at how my tears ricochet. Look at how my grief turns to violence. Look at what's left of us

I am so normal about this. Okay it's 5:23 I think it's time for me to go to bed

[formulaocean]

hi! sorry if it's a bit of a random question but i wanted to ask, what are your thoughts on The Song of Achilles by Madeline Miller, if you've read it?

Ah okay I have contrasting thoughts because it really is beautiful and has some quotes that I still think about years later, but I read it when I was also reading the Iliad and studying bits of it in Greek and some doesn’t gel for me!

So I like it but it also annoys me if that makes sense?

If you take it as a young adult love story, and one of the first of both the lgbt and retelling genres at that, it’s very very good but you’ve just got to accept it’s not similar from a classics pov. In all fairness it’s not a retelling of the Iliad but a love story with a younger target audience so maybe that’s on me 😅

The whatever our souls are made of quote kills me. The what has hector ever done to me foreshadowing finishes me off. Name one hero who was happy? Dead again. Them meeting in the afterlife after their ashes combine? Revives me just to kill me once more.

Her writing is so lyrical and although I think I prefer Circe in general, she really did write a beautiful book. It’s elegiac and mythological, heartbreaking and putting you right in a historical mindset with all her descriptions that are so vivid. Everyone knew the ending but she brought us along on such a way that we wished we didn’t. I’m quite hyped for her Persephone when it comes out!

This specific retelling so needed to be done because all the signs were there in the Iliad. In Ancient Greek art and texts it almost universally depicted them as lovers and it’s not seeing things- they are written as quite queer in the Iliad with Achilles having this beautiful description as a widow while mourning. The first time I watched Troy (not even going into the ending) I was horrified by them being cousins 😭

By making Patroclus “simpler” and in a role similar to Greek women as a homemaker and healer at the time, you get to gloss over the broader implications of the war and see Achilles with such a lovely fondness. Where so many other descriptions of him are so harsh and brutal that tender love really is the heart of the book and a refreshing take on him- I feel people forget he moodily strums on a lyre as well as fights. I do wish we had more of a richer world building though because there’s so much going on!

At the same time- that’s not Patroclus. Even as a kid he gave Achilles “wiser council” and he was just as tough too, second in fighting to Achilles amongst the Myrmidins and just as hungry for war. He’s described as being powerfully built, modest, wise, and before he’s struck down by Apollo, causing Hector to kill him, his aristeia had him single handedly slaying upwards of 50 people. It’s why Achilles trusts him with his armour.

I kind of wish we had Patroclus at least learn to fight in the book, or had him be tougher. Of course there are different types of strength but I don’t see why we couldn’t have Achilles appear softer through Patroclus’s eyes while keeping him in character, two scary people can still be gentle with each other! And as this is mainly a sports-semi-rpf tiny blog I will say we were robbed of jock for jock energy- give me flashbacks to them fighting together!

There’s also a complete glossing over of the female characters being slaves and here having a “brotherly” relationship where it is…not that. And I do think it’s a little bit of a tired trope that one man in a queer relationship has to take the more effeminate role but it was 2012 and aimed at young adults so I can’t blame it too much for either!

Thetis is brilliantly done though. Completely compelling as a terrifying ancient goddess who knows her son is doomed to die. Really reminds me of her in Catullus 64 which is about her wedding to Peleus and very foreshadowing heavy. And Odysseus too- love to hate that sneaky bastard.

Sorry for rambling anon 😭 I really hope you liked the book ❤️

[a-cloud-for-dreams]

Hii 🥰

I saw this picture and thought it might inspire a fic or an edit (no pressure 🥰)

omg this cake looks so good!!! i am literally obsessed ty!!! this may be angstier than i thought but:

Once A Shattered Heart

Book: Open Heart (Post Book 3)                     

Pairing/Characters:  Bryce Lahela x F!MC (Chandini Ramakrishnan), feat. Aishwarya Pillai (F!OC)

Rating: Teen     

Warnings: Childhood trauma/Insecurities                 

Category:  Angsty Fuff                

Words: 1.7k

Summary: As Chandini and Bryce work on planning their wedding, he helps her deal with a heartbreak that never healed

A/N:  lol i don't know what came over me idc how tired i am i love angst <333 also a lot of Tamil people have their last names as their father's first names just a random note in case anyone was curious

Of all the things Chandini went through, it was a surprise to find that wedding planning would be so excruciating. Why on earth were there so many things to look through? Venues, guests, catering, and organizing between a Hindu wedding or a classical reception. Not to mention her phone's incessant buzzing. She sighed as she planted her face into one of the couch pillows.

She felt a strong urge to nap after such a day. She would have collapsed on their couch earlier if it wasn't for Bryce helping her. He currently sat at the island calling Keiki and asking her opinion on the table settings.

"Ugh, I don't know Keiks, that's why I'm asking you! I'm 100% sure she would prefer the NAVY blue tablecloth"

She chuckled to herself, keeping her gaze on her fiance. Her charming, hilarious, supportive husband who she still felt like she didn't deserve. He cut the phone call and walked towards Chandini, planting an eager kiss on her forehead. A giggle slipped before she could control herself.

"You're so adorable, you know that?"

"How dare you insinuate I am anything less than bold or intimidating," she retorted before taking his arms and placing them around her cold shoulders.

"Whoa, Nini you're freezing!" he said. Chandini rolled her eyes. "Are you sure you don't have a fever or something? I don't think we can move our wedding to a hospital on short notice."

"I'm always cold. Besides all the sweaters are in the wash because someone keeps stealing them."

"Okay, that was only one time-"

Her phone rang, for what felt like the tenth time that day. Who could it be? She craned her neck to see the lock screen on her phone and saw one person she would never want to see in her life ever again. 

"I...have to go Bryce. After all the work we just did I believe I deserve a nap." She left his arms and he was able to see the woman who kept calling her. 

Oh for God's sake. 

He played the voicemail she sent and physically restrained himself from throwing a pillow across the room. 

"Chandini. I know you are purposefully ignoring my messages and frankly, it's just disrespectful. I'm sure none of your other friends do this to their mothers. I need to speak with you immediately after I meet with one of my clients."

~~~~~~~~

There are moments in Bryce's life where he regrets everything he does during intense moments.  This was not going to be one of them. 

He rang the doorbell to Chandini's mother's condo that she coincidently bought a month after she announced their engagement. He scoffed when she tried to argue she wanted to have more real estate in the Boston area. The woman answered shortly after the first ring and gasped in surprise when she saw her future son-in-law in front of him. 

"Miss Pillai." 

Sometimes, he forgot how similar Chandini was to her mother. From the thick wavy hair cascading off her shoulders to her prominent facial features, not to mention her intelligence. It wasn’t a surprise. Banerji was a brilliant doctor on her mother’s side and that family genius must have passed on somehow because there was something about the woman in front of him that exuded a feeling of superiority. She knew she was better but unlike Chandini, she wouldn’t feel guilty tearing other people down to bring her up. 

She laughed deeply. "Please, Bryce. If we are to be family I insist you call me Aishwarya.” 

He squirmed before continuing, eager to leave back to Chandini as soon as possible to make her a bowl of soup for her potential cold.  "Okay, fine. Aishwarya, you need to leave Chandini alone."

Her facial expressions tightened with anger and stared deeply into his. “Excuse me?”

"She doesn't want you there, and you need to get off her back."

“I can’t believe this,” she muttered, delicately bracing her head with a hand, something Chandini did all the time whenever she was in distress. 

"For the record, she doesn't want Mr. Ramakrishnan there either. Or Ramakrishnan? I guess that's his first name, right?"

She ignored his somewhat rhetorical question and muttered something under her breath. "After so many years she's still being this dramatic."

His blood started to boil against his wish. "Excuse me?" he asked, repeating her tone. 

"I believe your hearing is working just fine, Doctor Lahela. She's so dramatic. She has the audacity to leave and go against her mother’s wishes not even thinking of apologizing. Even you forgave your mother. What is her excuse?"

He balled his hand into a fist at his side. “It’s not an ‘excuse’ to not want to talk to a parent who took her anger out on her daughter because of her cheating father. God, how do you not understand how messed up that is?!”

She wasn’t startled at his exclamatory tone, almost as if she was prepared to make him mad. “I did no such thing! I don’t care for what her cowardly father did. I know for a fact that I raised a poignant, hardworking, and successful young woman or she wouldn’t be where she is today!”

Bryce stepped closer to her and laughed scornfully. “You’re the reason where she is today?! In a career, you didn’t want her to pursue?”

“Don’t speak on things you don’t understand, Doctor Lahela. I admit she would have been a better lawyer but I can admit I am proud that she is a well-known doctor. You would have never met her if it wasn’t for me. It’s simply pointless to deny my role-”

“In what? Making your daughter feel like she doesn’t deserve to be loved? For making her feel like she has to do everything all on her own or she’s a burden?” his hand started shaking, and it took him so much of his willpower to not tremble with emotion.

“It’s not my fault she thinks of herself that way. I don’t know what she did with her father but I know for a fact I gave her all the tools she needed to succeed,” she threw her hands in anger. 

"That doesn't mean she's happy!" he yelled. He took in a deep breath before proceeding. "When I started talking to her for the first time about her family, she never said anything. She always seemed closed off and she never told anyone anything. Do you know what that does to a person? Shoving your emotions so low to the point where you feel weak for being human?"

“I-uh”

“Speechless huh? Not something you see every day in a lawyer,” he jests. She glowered at him, and Bryce could have sworn he saw tears forming in her eyes.

"You don't know my life, Dr. Lahela, and you never will. I have made sacrifices for her-"

"That doesn't mean you didn't make mistakes!" his voice started rising again. "You need to accept that she's not ready to see you right now. Even after helping her in the Martinez trial. Even when she was almost on her deathbed."

He was almost out the door before she spoke again.

"I don't think we'll be getting along as much as I thought, Bryce."

He scoffed. "If it means being on Chandini's side, I'm alright with that..."

The slam of the door sent a ripple of pain through Aishwarya. Was it guilt? Anger? Shame? A text from Chandini popped up on her screen. 

I am tired of arguing with you and Appa. I’m not changing my mind. Please stop texting me.

Aishwarya cradled her face in her hands. She cut a gaping wound in their relationship from the day she was born and now she would bleed the consequences.

~~~~

He made it back to their house and sighed happily when he saw Chandini, making a large pot of soup with baked bread. She heard his footsteps and turned around eagerly. "Bryce, you're home!"

He raised an eyebrow. "You're excited. Did you think I would get lost?"

She laughed. "No, I found a cake you would like!" Chandii swiped through messages on her phone Sienna sent her. "She sent me a few pictures from the first bakery we went to together to pick up Rafael's birthday cake, remember? And look at this!"

A glazed marble cake with intentional cuts seeping with candy jewels and a heart-shaped jeweled decoration dominated his vision. He fell in love. "This is perfect!"

She squealed, unexpected for someone like her. "I know! Sienna really did a good job finding a cake, though I should probably request a navy blue color instead..."

Bryce wrapped his arms around Chandini as she was talking, desperate to hold onto this moment forever. "You're amazing, you know that, right? I'm so excited to wake up and spend the rest of my life with you." He kissed her nose softly.

She smiled, sniffling to hide any unwarranted tears. "Well, at least I'm glad I'm marrying someone with excellent taste."

Perma Tags: @peonierose, @jamespotterthefirst, @choicesficwriterscreations

[battyaboutbooksreviews]

[ Insta ]

🦇 When the World Tips Over Book Review 🦇

Rating: ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

❓ #QOTD What's your favorite book about siblings (if you don't have one, you NEED to pick up a book by Jandy Nelson)? 🦇 Years ago, the Fall kids’ father mysteriously disappeared, cracking the family into pieces. Dizzy sees spirits, Miles hides the truth of himself behind the guise of perfectionism, and Wynton is on the brink of fame or self-destruction. When an enigmatic rainbow-haired girl shows up, she tips the Falls’ world over. She might be an angel. Or a saint. Or an ordinary girl. Somehow, she is vital to each of them. But before anyone can figure out who she is, catastrophe strikes, leaving the Falls more broken than ever. And more desperate to be whole. With road trips, rivalries, family curses, love stories within love stories within love stories, and sorrows and joys passed from generation to generation, this is the intricate, luminous tale of a family’s complicated past and present. And only in telling their stories can they hope to rewrite their futures.

💜 Jandy Nelson has done it again, weaving magic into every word while creating an intricate, profound, heart-claiming story of family and love. Each of the Falls siblings is so well-developed, so vivid that the heart-aching loss for their father cries off the page, their passions bleeding color into every chapter. And yet, you can't fully know Dizzy, Miles, or Wynton without seeing them from their siblings' point of view--proving that sometimes, those we love know us better than we know ourselves. This story is told in a seamless blend of present and past, family histories & different perspectives overlapping. I fell in love with each character perhaps in the way they loved one another--Cassidy most of all, whose storytelling is captivating, enthralling, dizzying all at once. The word choice is flawlessly executed, giving each character a heartbeat, every heartbreak leaving fissures in their wake. It was beyond worth waiting a decade for another Jandy Nelson book; a story that has bled so much color into my world as a reminder of what well-written prose and character development can be when a passionate writer is at the helm. Despite this story's generational trauma, the love and joy found between the characters, the LOVE built between moments of pain, transcends all else. It tips over.

💙 There are a few trigger warnings you should be aware of before diving into this tender tale: abandonment, addiction/alcoholism, car accident, death, grief, homophobia, infidelity, mental illness, physical abuse, rape/sexual assault.

🦇 If you read one book I've recommended this year, let it be this one. Let Dizzy, Miles, Wynton, and their angel into your heart. This is not a YA book; it's a would-be classic that transcends time and genre. Recommended for fans of Rainbow Rowell, Casey McQuiston, and Becky Albertalli.

✨ The Vibes ✨ 🎻 Siblings/Family Secrets 🌈 Multiple POVs / Timelines 🍇 Rivalries 🥧 Magical Realism 🪽 Family Curse 🍇 Queer MMC 🌈 Poetic Prose 🎻 Mental Health Rep

🦇 Major thanks to the author @jandy.nelson and publisher @randomhouse @penguinteen for providing an ARC of this book via Netgalley. 🥰 This does not affect my opinion regarding the book. #WhentheWorldTipsOver

💬 Quotes ❝ Their eternity was only each other. ❞ ❝ Her mother...once told Dizzy that it used to be believed a white truffle was made when lightning hit and entered an ordinary mushroom. That’s how Dizzy thought of Wynton— unlike the rest of the ordinary mushrooms like her, he had lightning inside him. ❞ ❝ Deep garnet color, hints of cherries, roses, has you talking to the moon and the moon talking right back, pairs well with heartbreak, makes you feel so in love you might ask strangers to marry. ❞ ❝ He decided this would have to be the one slow dance in the history of humankind that never ended. No matter if asteroids careened down, wars broke out, earthquakes toppled cities, the two of them would still, in a thousand years, be here by this river, in starlight, under the redwood trees, swaying together, more one than two, because he suddenly somehow knew deep in his heart that this girl was the kingdom, and for once in his stupid screwed-up life, he was the one who had the keys. ❞ ❝ And now she’s saying someone named Felix, who drove with her down to Paradise Springs, had called her Scheherazade, the Persian queen in A Thousand and One Nights who saved her own life by telling stories. She says she plans on keeping you alive in the same way— by telling you her story. You hope that means her story is a long one and she’ll stay by your side forever. ❞ ❝ She also writes in a journal. When I ask her what she’s writing, she says she’s trying to crash into infinity with words. ❞ ❝ I never want her to know that a life is an abandoned unfinished story. ❞ ❝ There’s an invisible artery joining the hearts of mothers and daughters through which pain is transferred from one generation to the next. ❞ ❝ She didn’t know what people were supposed to do with the leftover love that no one wanted anymore. ❞ ❝ A real love story is not falling in love once, but again and again through all sorts of incarnations. Theirs was a real love story. ❞ ❝ He was the guy full of voltage and fury, who blew the lids off jars, who walked into a room and electrocuted all present. ❞ ❝ Who knew one kiss could turn someone into a brand-new person? ❞ ❝ I do believe now that when the world tips over, joy spills out with all the sorrow. But you have to look for it. ❞

[maspaz]

🧡💛💚🩵💙 for Bruno AAAND 🧡💚🩵 for Ballister :] - @prismaticuniverses

EEEEE RIS!!!!! I LOVE YOU RIS!!

Bruno:

🧡 how do they become friends? do they ask up front or is it a gradual realization?

we're friends immediately by virtue of me lending him a horse

as all good friendships start /j

💛 what are their favorite activities to do together? or what do they usually do when they spend time together?

i've been thinking of us dancing a lot recently... he just likes being around me as i do my little tasks tho. errands and cooking. he pretends he likes my food more than julieta's until i have her dinner for the first time and im like "bruno why would you ever eat dinner with me when this goddess is here" and he has no answer sdjkfghsdjk

💚 do they both realize they have a crush early on, or does it take them forever to realize?

yes,,, bruno is bullied by his family about it at first and he has no choice but to recognize im a handsome lady and so gets flustered around me.

meanwhile i was struck with feelings for him by virtue of when meeting him, he shouted "YOU HAVE HORSES! HORSES! i need a horse." and im like "oh. hello :) these horses belong to my family so i can't just - " "my sobrina is missing, please please please - " he doesn't need to beg, i'm already giving him the reigns

GOD i need to write ff

🩵 do they both act different once they realize they’re falling for the other? maybe stuttering or fidgeting or daydreaming more often?

*adds that to my canon*

💙 do they pine and yearn for each other quietly, or can they not stop talking about the other to their friends/family?

definitely the second one. it's just brunos luck that when people stop bullying him about his crush that he starts talking to anyone who will listen about me and our dates

Ballister:

🧡 how do they become friends? do they ask up front or is it a gradual realization?

answered previously, i dont think i can repeat it well enough buuuut

bal and i met while he was still dating ambro, and we hit it off (to no ones discomfort!) and exchange social medias. i think we probably bond over our love for classic rock, i mention offhandedly that i'm part of a cover band and he's like "that's awesome!" and i'm like "it's not!" because i'm only in it to hit things with sticks (but i dont tell him that (probably))

he and ambro break up (first love heartbreak) and he sees me singing at some restaurant (the band broke up and i was left with no creative outlets, or a job but the owner knows my dad and i get in that way)

we only start talking after he takes a pic of me on stage and sends it to me asking 'this you?' and i reply 'how dare you remind me i'm being watched /j' and we keep texting until late at night for a few weeks

💚 do they both realize they have a crush early on, or does it take them forever to realize?

nim calls me his boyfriend as a joke and the idea gets stuck in his head... he's up late at night thinking "oh fuck, here we go again" when he realizes he Wants me to be his boyfriend

meanwhile im working my shifts while thinking of texting him at all times, bored and wishing i was with him instead because he's funny, and cute, and oh no

🩵 do they both act different once they realize they’re falling for the other? maybe stuttering or fidgeting or daydreaming more often?

oh yeah. lots of stuttering and trying to avoid eye contact. nim gets it immediately and has to constantly hurry us along when we're alone together

[randommusingsstuff]

Why Ben and Devi are Endgame (Meta)

At the heart of every rom-com, it always comes down to this: what does the protagonist truly want? 

Why Devi and Paxton Don’t Work

In the season 2 finale, Devi triumphantly says “So, I guess I'm Paxton Hall-Yoshida’s girlfriend now”. She got what she thought she wanted at the start of her journey, only it’s not what she wants anymore. 

Although Devi cares for Paxton, she views him as a status symbol. Paxton, for all his growth, still sees himself as cooler than her. And no, he was not just embarrassed because she cheated on him. Before he knew she was cheating, he invited his friends on their first date and refused to call her his girlfriend. In the finale, it once again takes someone else to point out that he shouldn’t blow her off. As Devi and Paxton walk into the dance, he gives his friends a sheepish look while they judge him. Not only does he still have lingering feelings of embarrassment, his friends’ reactions suggest turbulence ahead for their relationship. 

There is also a lack of communication between Paxton and Devi. They have a magical kiss by the window, and makeout sessions afterwards, but they don't actually talk about their relationship in that elapsed time. Devi makes the assumption that they are together and Paxton doesn’t articulate what he wants until it is forced out of him. 

What can we conclude from this? Paxton is a great character, but he is not the one for Devi. They have differing interests and goals, a lack of communication and they do not see each other for their true worth. 

Can the writers surmount all of these issues to give them an endgame? Yes, but it would require fundamentally changing who Devi and Paxton are. 

Why Devi and Ben Work

In episode 1 of season 2, Devi wants to pick Ben but her friends talk her out of it. This is crucial to understanding why they belong together: her gut instinct has already revealed the truth. She had both guys vying for her and she wanted Ben. Just by this one fact alone, we can infer that Devi’s relationship with Ben was more meaningful to her than her pursuit of Paxton in season 1.

When it’s revealed that Devi is two-timing the boys, Paxton is hurt but Ben is devastated. Paxton likes her, but Ben connected with her on a deeper emotional level. Devi follows Paxton out of the party, which is understandable because he is the one walking away. Again, this is cleverly hinting at their communication styles. Paxton wants to avoid the situation and Ben wants to talk about it. From Ben’s perspective, Paxton is the guy she has wanted for so long and he is the second choice. 

Throughout the season, Ben never considers the fact that Devi could want him over Paxton, which is equal parts sad and infuriating. Her therapist asks what she wants more than anything and she says Ben. In context, it’s a comical line, but it’s also Devi revealing her truth. Like she does at the beginning of the season, she makes a choice and it’s Ben. She pursues Ben romantically before Paxton even though Paxton is the one more willing to forgive her. 

It takes Ben longer to forgive her, and yet he is still there for her when she needs help. The little things he does like give her advice about Aneesa and make her feel better about Paxton’s rejection all show Devi’s ability to be vulnerable with Ben. 

As an aside, they had the opportunity to show Devi being vulnerable with Paxon but didn’t take it. In episode 8 of season 2, Paxton sees Devi crying and she reveals that she got into a really bad fight with Eleanor. I was thinking: here it is, here is the moment that Paxton finally helps Devi with her problems... but no. His response is “seems like you’re in a fight with lots of people” and the conversation quickly shifts to her apologizing and helping him yet again. Devi is able to open up to Ben and be supported by him in a way that she can’t with Paxton.

Before I talk about the finale, which is arguably the biggest point in Ben and Devi’s favour, I want to look at the season overall. The entire story arc is Ben and Devi wanting to be together but constantly running into roadblocks in the form of Eleanor/Fabiola, Paxton and Aneesa. It was so alarmingly obvious they belonged together after season 1, that the writers had to find ways to forcibly separate them for the time being. It’s important for Ben and Devi’s relationship that she dates Paxton first. If she had been allowed to go for Ben, they would have had to explore Devi wondering what she missed out on. When Devi and Ben do get their happy ending, it will be because Devi has realized that Paxton is not the person for her. 

In the finale of season 2, we get 3 crucial scenes from Devi and Ben. The first is the bathroom scene which reaffirms Devi’s ability to be vulnerable with Ben and his ability to support her (something she doesn’t have with Paxton). The second is their tension-filled scene at the dance where they longingly stare at each other. This directly contrasts the scene in episode 8, where Devi tries to reframe her mindset and stop seeing Ben as someone she is attracted to. Here, it becomes apparent that she is unable to stop thinking about him in a romantic way despite actively trying. 

The third scene is basically Eleanor saying “you dummy, she wanted to choose you!”. The writers intentionally reference the pros-cons scene from episode 1, re-affirming that Devi wants Ben. The only reason they are not together is because he is not an option. 

Then we get the line “it wasn’t always him”. Many Devi and Paxton fans believe her choice was Ben, but he took too long and now it’s too late. But when has it ever been too late for a main love interest in a rom-com? Mindy Kaling is a rom-com savant, and she knows as well as I do that it’s only ever “too late” for douchey guys who do not acknowledge the self-worth of the heroine. That’s not Ben though, he has always seen Devi for who she is. 

The heartbreak on Ben’s face is infinitely worse than Paxton’s voicemail at the end of season 1, although these scenes are meant to parallel each other. Devi and Paxton are two people who like each other but do not work as a long-term relationship. Ben and Devi are two people who work as a long-term relationship but never acknowledge their feelings for each other at the right time. It’s a tragedy just waiting to be rectified in season 3.

Season 3 Predictions

Now that I've given my analysis on why Devi and Ben are meant to be, here are some predictions I have on the Devi-Ben-Paxton love triangle for season 3.

Fabiola/Eleanor will be the ones to help Devi act on her true feelings for Ben. This one is a no-brainer for me. After sabotaging their chance to be happy in the first place, Fabiola and Eleanor will decide that they want their friend to be happy and set things right. It will also parallel Ben mending their friendship in season 1.

Paxton and Devi will have some sweet moments in the first half of the season, but not without their issues. The lack of communication and their respective status (the way they view each other) will cause them to fight. They will break-up mid-season, but the ending will leave hope for reconciliation.

On that note, I do not think they will kill the love triangle. Even though we will likely see Devi confessing her feelings for Ben and saying that she wanted to choose him all along, this is still a TV show. Contentious love triangles = buzz and money.

Ben and Aneesa will break up by mid-season, but probably earlier. Ben will find it hard to be in a relationship with Aneesa as he grapples with his feelings for Devi.

Ben will be a pillar of support to Devi as she navigates how to be a girlfriend. It’s the classic trope of the guy helping the girl win over the man of her dreams, only to realize that the person she wants is right in front of her.

 Devi and Ben’s friendship and lingering feelings will culminate in an epic finale confession and kiss. Everything that they were unable to say to each other last season will be spoken aloud in season 3.

Ben and Devi are soulmates, drawn to each other and unable to avoid their feelings. I can’t wait for them to take over my life again next year.

[shipsandlattes]

So I know everyone has already dissected this scene to its core, but it’s taken me a good 48 hours to digest this and I just needed to get it out.

I’m an aspiring actor, I’ve been training for a long time, with a lot of amazing teachers. I’ve watched a lot of shows and shipped a lot of couples. Some of them beautiful and canon, others, well, let’s just say waiting 22 years and counting for acknowledgement, closure, anything, it’s a damn challenge. I’ve seen a hell of a lot of will-they-wont-they’s, baiting, purposeful ignorance, deliberate fake outs, zero explanations, storylines that basically caused canon disintegration, the works.

In saying that, Dean and Cas were right up there on the list with the other “impossibles” because honestly, I didn’t think the writers would have the guts to do it, but I am so f*cking proud they did. It’s safe to say I’ve watched the scene a good hundred+ times already. 

I’ve seen a lot of “controversy” around Dean’s reaction/Jensen’s acting choices and whether or not Dean reciprocates Cas’ feelings, and obviously, I needed to add my own views to the mix.

Just work with me for a minute here.

Dean Winchester is an emotionally repressed trainwreck, and ironically enough, the one that is so full of emotion it hurts to watch. When Cas first starts his speech, he’s confused, really confused because why on earth would Cas start off on a rant now? Billie’s waiting to kill them, he just said he knew something that was more powerful than she was, something that could save them. That’s where he thought this speech was going.

The confusion turns to realisation that it’s a goodbye when Cas starts telling him how incredible he is, how his entire essence is love. Go back and watch the scene again, when Cas says “you’re the most caring man on Earth”, you physically see Dean look down, his eyes searching, he’s actively trying to make sense of what’s happening, he knows what’s coming and you can see him coming to terms with the shock of the words being said to him. He then looks directly at Cas. That look, that was pure shock.

Also, notice how he doesn’t stop Cas from talking? He doesn’t interject, make a joke, doesn’t talk about how there is no time for this now, they’ve got to at least try and stop Billie. He. says. nothing. He listens, he listens like I’ve never seen Dean listen before. Because it’s sinking in now.

When Cas really starts crying, when he says “you changed me, Dean”, you can actually see the pain in Dean’s eyes. He’s no longer in control of his emotions, he’s crying too. He’s never seen Cas like this, so raw, and vulnerable and human. This is the hardest, most emotional conversation they’ve both ever had. They are talking about the one thing that everybody knows, but is never addressed. When it wasn’t talked about, they could deny it, live in the lie. Once it’s said aloud, it’s real and they can’t turn back.

This above series of interactions is the part that kills me the most. The moment Cas says “because it is”, that’s the exact moment of realisation. Look at that last GIF, really look. He’s just worked it out, that he is Cas’ true happiness. He knows what’s coming before Cas even says it. Go back and watch the scene again, they pulled that off so well, the way the music swells at this exact moment. Jensen is giving us everything here, you can see what’s happening in his head - he is Cas’ happiness. He is the one thing on Earth Cas wants and thinks he can’t have. He is the reason Cas is about to die. He knows what Cas is about to say and he’s not sure he’s ready to hear it, not now, not like this. It’s almost a silent plea not to say it, because he knows. Of course he knows. It’s like he can’t quite believe Cas is really, after all this time, finally going to say it.

And because obviously Jensen decided that that wasn’t enough to break us, the loaded reaction when Cas says “I love you” has me nothing but convinced that it’s reciprocated. Because Dean knows. He’s always known. Those tears, that head tilt, that gulp. He’s so genuinely confused that they’re really having this conversation. It’s like he can’t quite believe that this is the reality before him because he’s been living in that denial, in that self-loathing and unlovable layer he believes to be true. He’s been under the ‘what if... but it could never be’ umbrella for so long. 

What also makes this real is that there isn’t anyone else around this time. When “I love you’s” have been said before, they have always been able to deflect it, with other people or other words. Now it’s just the two of them. No deflecting, no running away. Dean is forced to hear it, to absorb it, to realise it’s for nobody else but him.

Now, I don’t know if you guys felt this, but when Dean says “Don’t do this, Cas”, he wasn’t just referring to Cas sacrificing himself to the Empty, he’s telling Cas that he can’t just say this, not now, knowing he’s going to die, knowing that Dean won’t get a chance to think, to process, to say what he needs too. I keep staring at that GIF above, Dean is breaking down, I’m almost convinced that Jensen was using an “I love you too, please just stop this” inner monologue for this bit. Look at the way he’s looking at Cas before he realises the Empty has started materialising and turns around. That’s a look of pure heartbreak. Trust me when I tell you, it’s really hard to keep those inner thoughts inside if you’re so in the moment - actually, don’t just take my word for it, read any acting book, ask any actor, it’s so hard to keep that in and sometimes you don’t, and sometimes you do - it’s in both the resistance and the letting go that the gold happens. This my friends, is gold. 

Did anyone else hear “Cas, I-”, well, regardless of whether or not it was an “I” or a very sharp breath, the outcome is the same. Dean’s gone into immediate panic mode. The Empty at one end and Billie at the other, and all poor Dean wants to do is gather his thoughts on not what to say but how to say it. I don’t think he comprehended just how little time he had, he was so focused on what was being said that the reality of the situation caught him completely off guard.

Also, I know this post was about dissecting Dean’s reaction, but can we sidebar a minute to talk about Cas as he pushes Dean out of the way? He’s sobbing, he’s fully crying. That hit me really hard, I’ve never seen Cas cry like that, I’ve never seen Misha get to play that level of emotion before and it was the most heartbreaking thing to watch since The Doctor and Rose and Buffy and Spike, to which by the way, I find many parallels between those couples and this scene.

Speaking of crying, that brings me to this: Dean slumped on the floor, ignoring a call from Sam, sobbing his heart out knowing he’s lost everything. Dean-I’m-emotionally-unavailable-Winchester is sobbing. Maybe I’m wrong, but I don’t recall ever seeing Dean cry like this before either, the sobbing was so evident and piercing in that silence. The look around the room, the burying of his head in his hands, that is a classic writers romantic love trope if I’ve ever seen it, they really pulled out all the stops with this one.

So, to summarise, I think Jensen’s choices and Dean’s reactions were absolutely and utterly perfect. They both did it so well that it didn’t break from character that these two emotionally distant and repressed men are in love and finally voicing it. Jensen barely said two words and still managed to cause mass coronary’s across the fandom. That my friends is what you call a brilliant actor. I bow down to the talents of these two amazing human beings.

Before I leave this novel, I have to say there are now a few things I’m going to need from the powers that be to not screw this up, help me manifest this:

1. Dean gets to reciprocate his feelings to Cas in person. So, I’m gonna need Cas back and a very emotional Dean.

2. Dean to be actively dealing with heartbreak in the next episode (unless they decided to bring Cas back that soon, which I wouldn’t put past them at this point).

3. Sam to confront Dean about his feelings for Cas, because out of everyone, he’d be the one to hit Dean with the truth of his fears. Sam knows. Sam is supportive. Sam sees it all.

4. I’m gonna need some physical affection, cause after 12 years of nonsense, we damn well deserve it. A hug, and not just any old reunion hug, a proper, this is different now hug. A kiss because hello, in love out loud now. Forehead touching, handholding, really gonna need the works here.

5. A happy ending for the two of them, one way or another. We’ve never had one, it’s time.

Okay, have at it now, let’s speak these into existence please.

Note: GIFs are not mine, I did not make them, credit to owners who I’m not sure of, but they’re beautiful, thanks for making them. EDIT: I’ve just been informed that these gorgeous gifs belong to @michaeldean​ and @inacatastrophicmind​! 

[jeongwife]

ok ok, bad boy shua but as the sweetest boyfriend to ever boyfriend 😭😭😭 pls elaborate if there are any thoughts being thunk 😭🧎‍♀️🤡

IM SO SADDDDDDD. fitting that two minus one plays as i write this </3

he’s literally the stereotypical tsundere, stand-offish kind of guy. so when you two get partnered to work on a group project together, you’re a bit tentative about it because man that guy is bad news. the numerous rumours you had heard about his affiliations with the bad part of town. and when he shows up to your place with a motorcycle and adorned in black leather, your nerves are going haywire. on the one hand, you find him so attractive but on the other hand you shouldn’t be falling for the bad boy on campus. and you thought it would all end up being a disaster fire, but as you work on your project together over the next couple of weeks and get to know each other — like how he plays guitar in a band with his friends and they perform gifs at the university bar every friday, or how he’s picked up tufting as stress relief from school. and in every way, he’s just more and more endearing to you than ever before.

he tells you the story of how he got his eyebrow piercing — one of his friends, a law student, jeonghan (who is also coincidentally in his band) ended up tricking him into getting it and initially he was annoyed but he thought he looked a lot more attractive with it (you rolled your eyes at this but… he wasn’t wrong). and as he revealed more about himself, you found yourself falling for him more. once your assignment was handed in, you had decided to surprise him at one of his gigs. his passion for singing really shone on stage, and he sung like he’d gone through twenty heartbreaks in one song </3 and when you rush to him, breathless as he steps away from the stage, grabbing the lapels on his leather jacket to press a kiss to his lips, you feel fireworks awaken in your stomach (as cliche as it sounds). he’d be so chivalrous about the whole ordeal, insisting to take you out on a classic dinner and movie date and walking you to your door with a little twist by him picking you up on his motorcycle. and waiting to kiss you again on your third date before asking you to be his girlfriend.

and when you’re his girlfriend, he’s 100% down bad for you. you know that bead necklace you noticed him wearing when you were cuddling in bed? he made it himself and is more than likely going to have one ready for you the next time you see each other. he’d be so, so, so caring and so sweet. when you’re sick and don’t want to go out, he’d be sure to grab any notes from lectures you miss from your friends (no matter how intimidating he may seem to them 😭), would make you the most comforting soup and cuddle you to sleep (despite how much you refuse him). when you have exams and decide to stress bake at 3am, he’s already up and joining you, cueing the dancing around the kitchen as your cookies bake. he’d also make sure you try and sleep because you need it <3 just his domestic side would show so much when you’re in a relationship with him and that contrasted with his bad boy appearance makes me want to cry </3

— admin ryu (brainrot 😭😭😭)

…

bonus:

“what?” you looked skeptically at your boyfriend, who averted his gaze on you as soon as you set eyes on him.

“nothing.” he shook his head sheepishly.

the two of you had found yourselves situated on a picnic blanket, stargazing at 3am, 3km away from your campus, as a way to distract yourself from your upcoming exams. joshua had suggested it, of course, after you had a breakdown over your oven… breaking down from overuse.

“doesn’t sound like nothing.” you raised an eyebrow.

he sighed,

“if you really want to know… i keep thinking, even as we look at the stars, that i could be shown a dozen of them and none of them could compare to you.”

you felt your cheeks heating up as you lightly slapped his shoulder,

“you’re so cringey, you know that? oh, who would’ve known that the bad boy had a poetic streak.”

“yeah but you love it.” he smirked.

“correction— i love you.” you rolled your eyes.

he smiled, bringing you closer to him so that your back was against his chest,

“i love you too. and you can’t complain about me being cringey because you’re equally as cringey.”

[shessolovely-ao3]

Can we ask you what your opinions are on some MO fics? Kinda like a review

ooh yes! Sorry you asked me this like 2 months ago but I was in europe for a class and i didn't have time to pick through the ao3 page, but now I do! This isn't like a "top 5" list or anything, this is just listed in a non-consecutive way!

thorns (the blood that jesus spilt)

idk about you, but i love going to the very last page of a fandom tag. it's interesting to see what was written at the time of a show or movie or book's release, and MO is no exception. This one is an interesting, if not heartbreaking, take on what could have happened during "Nature" if Clay had accidentally aimed a little higher.

It's in Clay's POV and it's written beautifully, perfectly encapsulating his feelings of shame and self hatred, especially since he's watching the one good thing he's ever created bleed to death on the forest floor.

death is a door that love walks through

god, another amazing one. this is partially what inspired me to write my clay death fic. this focuses more on joe and his relationship with his father when he's nineteen. his father's dead, and he's not ready, and this is another fic that perfectly encapsulates what it's like to deal with an unexpected death - it shows how joe deals with the mess around him, and every time I read it i get sucked in all over again. reading joe's relationship with his mother, with daniel stopframe, orel, posie, everyone really, is so fascinating.

a pet sematary inside of your heart.

another classic. orel/christina centered, and in this they're teenagers still dealing with their parents and all they do (or don't) do. this has a more debated art posabule headcanon, and when i first wrote my MO fic in 2019 this is what i read before writing it.

it's short and sweet, and ends on a bittersweet note in typical MO fashion.

in the night the snow starts falling.

this one is much sweeter and lighter than the last one, i promise!! this fic focuses more on Christina and how she tries to get a Christmas present to Orel on Christmas Eve. it's the cutest damn thing ever and it has a permanent place in my ao3 bookmarks.

(i take my bookmarks very seriously. only if i love love LOVE a fic does it get there, and half of these are on my bookmarks page so you know that i adore what i'm putting on this list)

sing for the damage we've done

This is a look into future Christmas Eves with the Puppingtons and Orel + Christina. It's an interesting look at how Orel and Clay deal with each other and how their relationship (or lack of one) progresses over time. I like reading things like this because I know that everyone has a different opinion on what aged up!orel would be like when it comes to dealing with his trauma and dealing with his parents and this one's no exception! definitely one of my favorites.

Better

okay, remember how i said this isn't a top five list? lies bitch, lies. the author for this was anonymous but whoever they are, may god bless them in every way possible because holy fuck this is the best goddamn thing. i typically hate clay redemption fics because I don't see redemption in clay's character arc whatsoever - since i don't believe he can be saved - but i will always always always make an exception for this fic.

i love it. i love it so much i recommend it to anyone who asks. it's such a good and realistic take on what clay's redemption would look like and it doesn't shy away from the fact that everyone in town would be hella suspicious of him. it's so good if you ignore every other fic on this list fine idc but read this one

aaaand ofc i love the fics that @rosesandoleander puts out since they're always beautifully written and thought through.

anyways that is my list!! I'm sure there's one or two im forgetting but I can always get to that later lol let me know if there's anything else!!