#they are ~trying to figure things out~ while lucy remembers their whole romantic relationship and tim remembers none of it

[russellshaws]

Chenford + when did you fall for me?

"When did you fall for me?" He asks the question softly, knowing she'll hear it over the crackling of the fire and the intensity of her thoughts. It's quiet, almost like he doesn't want to ask, but he knows she'll hear his tone and know it's genuine.

She knows him in that way.

He hopes that for the most part, he knows her in that way, too.

Tim watches as Lucy chews on her lower lip in thought, his teeth pressing lightly into the skin of his own lip.

Something about the combination of the cool air, the wine she'd poured in his glass, and the way she's been smiling at him tonight have him buzzing beneath the surface – enough that he'd wanted to ask her this, enough that he wanted to hear the answer. They've been skirting around the reality of it: when did you realize we were oh-so-much-more, he assumes because she thinks it will derail them entirely, but more likely because...well, he's never actually asked.

It's been hard to wrap his mind around the idea that they're in this incredibly serious relationship when he doesn't remember any of it – and harder still to try and convince himself they shouldn't be. He knows what Lucy thinks: she thinks he doesn't understand, could never feel the way she feels, hasn't let himself drift into that mindset.

What he really feels is a hell of a lot more complicated, though. He gets it entirely, if not more because she's been actively loving him through this. He doesn't remember their relationship at all, and she's doing the work for both of them.

How could he not be hopelessly in love with her?

That's where it gets complicated, though – because he loves her for her, but he loves her for him, too. He needs to untangle that before he can let himself anywhere near her, truly – because she deserves a selfless love. She deserves someone who puts in the effort for her, who doesn't just love her because she loves them harder.

She lets out a soft laugh and pulls him back, raising her brow. "It's a bad answer," she offers, and Tim tips his head to the side, narrowing his eyes at her. "What? It is."

"Lay it on me," he shrugs, taking a slow sip of his wine. "I'm sure it's not that bad."

"It's a non-answer," she takes a sip from her glass, holding his gaze as she pulls it away from her mouth. "It wasn't one moment. I fell for you in a million little moments – hearing you call me Lucy after you handed me my final evaluation, offering me a ratty old pair of sweatpants when I stayed at your place after Jackson died," she offers him a sad, solemn smile. "Letting me talk my way into being your aide, inviting me to tear down your childhood home with your sister – god, even," she presses her hand to her face for a moment and he leans in closer, just wanting to be near her. "Even you calling me fucking goat whisperer in front of a date had me swooning. You don't even realize you're doing it, too – which is even more annoying. You just exist as this...wonderfully irritating version of yourself that I can't help but be ass over feet in love with."

Tim swallows, keeping his eyes focused on her. "If you had to pick one," he breathes, grinning as she rolls her eyes at him, visibly annoyed. "What? You said I was irritating, didn't you?"

Lucy bites on the rim of her wine glass, taking a sip and then setting it down. "Just one moment?" He nods, pressing his lips together. She sighs, tapping her fingers against her chin and then dropping them, humming over at him. "I think I really knew the first time you hugged me. That's cheesy and it's not really true, but I...we'd never," she pushes her hair off her face with a one-handed sweep and he wants to slide his hand over her cheek, bring her close, feel her breath on his skin. "We'd never touched like that before, and I didn't want you to let go. You...I stayed at your place," she has that expression she gets when she feels like she needs to fill in the gaps for him, and he nods slowly, hoping she'll breathe and calm down. "You invited me over after Jackson died, said I shouldn't be alone. You hugged me and I," she lets out a soft, hiccuping laugh, "I don't know, I didn't want you to stop. I didn't know what I was feeling then, but I know it now. You were keeping me still. You were grounding me," she shrugs. "Turns out, that's what we do for each other."

He lets out a slow, steady breath. "You knew you loved me, then?"

She hums in thought. "No," she laughs. "When I think about it now, I loved you something fierce, then. In the moment? I'd never been more confused about what I was feeling in my life. You were warm, and steady, and I could follow your heartbeat. You confused the absolute shit out me, but...somehow, a little less than everything else did," she smiles over at him softly. "So, everything you do now...just, unnamed."

Tim takes a sip from his glass, reaching over and grabbing her hand. He laces their fingers and squeezes them gently. "So what you're telling me is that we're on the same page," he murmurs, after setting his wine down. "Confused, but intrigued. Enamored, for some reason."

She raises her brows at him. "You're enamored with me, huh?"

He lets out a low, rough laugh. "I've been enamored with you for a long time I remember that much."

He's pretty sure Lucy's smile is enough to keep him asking her questions all night long.

[chaosqueery]

Now that I have my thoughts together a little more, I figured I should write out how I feel about the ships this last season of Love, Victor.

-I am on the fence about the whole Benji/Victor/Rahim thing. I think a big reason is because of how disappointed I was with Benji a lot of the time this season. I loved him last season and his and Victor's chemistry is fire. I just wanted to be happy to ship them. It wasn't like he was terrible the whole time. At least when he screwed up he was good at either talking it through or making it up to him (dance still kills me). But it seemed like that wore off and he didn't have the patience to try anymore. I still have hope that that will change. I want it to be his house because I think there is still enough good there to try and save if they can (which very well might end up that maybe they are better off apart). I want to give it another season before he tries a relationship with someone else. And I do like Victor and Rahim too. While I don't feel the chemistry as much (it's still there! Definitely felt it during their karaoke number) that could still grow. What's important is that they feel safe talking about the stuff that Benji doesn't understand. I might feel differently if Benji made more of an effort to try and understand, but he didn't. Really, if he's at Rahim's door, I am just a little scared Rahim is going to wind up with his heart more broken down the line because I don't believe the writers are done exploring Victor/Benji. At least if Victor chooses Benji now Rahim isn't as invested. Then their relationship has the chance to develop more outside of coupledom and if Victor and Benji don't work out, maybe they could try again. I don't know. I am still wrapping my head around everything that happened.

-I am so glad that Mia has Andrew. You see the way he looks at her and his love is so genuine and unwavering. Gosh, does she ever need that. What her father did? How could he do that to her? Seriously, I was livid. She was finally willing to fight for her happiness and she was completely screwed over. Now that she is going to see her mother, I was glad to see that Andrew is going to be there to support her. They make each other stronger. Mia is starting to prioritize her needs and Andrew is becoming more thoughtful. Out of all the relationships on the show, they've grown together the most. I even had a hard time liking Andrew in the beginning of the series, but he grew up. My favorite part about that is while Mia inspired that in him, she didn't need to hold his hand to get him to do the right thing. He could do it on his own.

-I was so relieved that Felix finally realized the Anglerfish story is not romantic. I remember hearing him talk about it last season, and the fact that he was relating his feelings for Lake was so concerning. Seriously man, is it really your goal to become a dead appendage? I know Lake was trying and she did what she did because she doesn't want to see him hurt, but he can't follow her lead in a situation like this. She took away the little control he had over what happened to him and his mother. While getting her help was the right thing, Lake should have talked to him more, convinced him to take the steps he needed to instead of taking them herself.

-Now that leads me to express how much I love Felix and Pilar. I was so surprised this season. While I expected to get some pining Pilar, I thought it would take Felix longer to realize his own feelings. I can't remember when it happened, but I know I started shipping it before they even had that first coffee hangout. I was fully prepared for it to either never happen, or for it to take years. But then he took that Swedish Fish out of his pocket and walked away from Lake and I was floored. Then he expressed he could see himself spending the rest of his life with her and I was dead. They are just... so lovely. Their connection is effortless. All they need to do is spend time together and all the crap they have to deal with in their life falls away. They can focus on the moment and be happy. Pilar started smiling more and seemed to accept Atlanta as home the moment her feelings for him blossomed. Felix doesn't have to sacrifice his own happiness to make sure she's okay. And they see each other, effortlessly. Felix can see how kind she really is despite her anger at the world and Pilar can see that he is worthy of her feelings without him having to do back flips to prove it.

-I love how Lake and Lucy barely get within a foot of each other all season, but the last episode where they share a couple of fairly short scenes, the chemistry hits you like a ton of bricks. My jaw dropped and I was very happy. While I definitely didn't want Felix to choose Lake, I would have felt bad for her if she were left completely alone. But then they teased her and Lucy, who is awesome btw, and I can't wait to see how that is explored.

- As for Isabel and Armando, I don't have a super strong opinion about them, but I am ultimately cool with how it ended up. I am glad that Armando wouldn't go forward with getting back together with her until she could learn to accept Victor. I was so proud of him for that. While it was hard to watch Isabel to struggle with her acceptance, at least she finally got there. There are plenty of parents who would never even try. Anyway, I am happy to see how things go with them next season and how it affects the family.

[dirtycccat]

the demon bros+ undateables showing their love

thought about this for 5 min then had to write it out so enjoy

lucifer

first off you notice he treats you differently

and by differently i mean like you’re his favorite child  sibling

you get away with anything??? and he’s softer with you than with the others (which is canon)

then you see that?? he keeps buying you stuff you said you wanted when he was present

and you’re ofc impressed

but you’re more impressed by how open he’s around you

he’ll leave most of his walls down around  you

which means you’ll get to experience unfiltered lucifer

he’ll laugh around you more, make dumb dad jokes, nap with his head in your lap, complain drunkenly about his work and bros, give you sloppy cheeks and forehead kisses

you find it rly cute though

if you’re in the human world he’ll 100% take this chance to send you beautifully written letters asking you how you are and leaving some verses that reminded him of you on the back like a 19th century vampire

“dear mc, how is your life? mine is filled with woe and unease since i do not  have the light of my life around anymore...anyway here’s a poem about being horny and alone by a 18th century romantic author hope to see you soon, xoxo lucifer”

you try to respond in the same way and send him memes on the back instead of  poetry (or real poetry depends on your mood)

mammon

protective of you 100% will throw hands with anyone that even glances weirdly your way

but also wants to show you off? like look at this human!!! this is MY human!!!

gives you random thoughtful gifts that reminded him of you

wants to be around you 24/7 so he invites you to all the events that he thinks you’ll like

you wanna party? perfect. you wanna go on a weird ghost stories tour around the city? cool. you wanna waltz in one of those old people parties? he’s already reserved two tickets. you just wanna lay around and nap? he’s already on your lap.

it doesn’t matter if you’re in a romantic relationship or not this man WILL serenade you outside your window

rapunzel style with an acoustic guitar or with a boombox like a rebel 80s kid

anyway here’s toxic by britney spears babe this is for YOU

levi

considers you his bff ofc

but also at first he’s still really awkward around you and doesn’t really know what to do for you and feels bad thinking only you do things for him

until you reassure him you enjoy just being around him so it’s fine

he blushes and starts inviting you more to his room to game/ watch stuff

at some point he starts buying two tickets to all concerts he goes to and invites you along

but also? he asks you what you’re into and starts marathoning your favorite animes/ movies/ series so he can talk with you abt them

you feel really moved that he’d do that for you???  like??? bruh...

your relationship is basically friends respecting each other and wanting to know each other the best through their passions even if it means getting into some weird shit

it’s rly wholesome tho

if you’re romantically involved he’ll totally do roleplay as your favourite character and you do the same for him and it’s really cute

also imagine: artistic collabs. you make fanart together??? you can program games together???? you do cosplay together??? the possibilities...

satan

he’ll hate to be compared to his dad brother but he does show how much he trusts you by showing his unguarded side too

when he first talked about lucifer without the filter of his nice guy persona you were pretty shocked

like he was really going at it

but then you realize? he’s just like that when he’s comfortable

and it’s not all mean spirited, he just has,,, a strong personality and a lot of opinions about stuff (which you sometimes share with him)

but you also found out it’s really fun to gossip with satan

since he knows all the juicy gossip from his multitude of ties (he’s sharing the title of gossip queen with asmo that’s why they get along so well tbh)

also if you even find a teacher you hate he’ll tell you all their embarrassing moments to make you feel better

he also recommends you books and poems and sends you quotes that made him think about you

so you sure as heck don’t need to buy books while you’re in the devildom bc he’ll buy you an entire library 

asmo

compliments you without comparing you to himself which is the highest compliment he can give

like mammon he’s more into the showing everyone his favorite human around while also protecting them

he’ll take you to his parties and gatherings as a guest of honor, he’ll make you meet all kinds of people and open up opportunities for you

he’ll be the one that pampers you

you’d think lucifer is the sugar daddy of the family but nope it’s asmo

he’ll buy you cute clothes, shoes, beauty products everything that he saw and imagined would look bomb on you

if you’re not into clothes he’ll buy you art supplies, books, anything you want but he’ll still probably  buy you at least some clothes he thinks are cute

if you’re romantically involved,,,, he’ll buy other toys for you as well which you can try together wink wink

beel

cooks for you

no questions asked when it’s his turn to cook he’ll think about what YOU would like to eat first before making something

which is??? really touching coming from beel

and also means sometimes he’ll make the same dish three weeks in a row and annoy the others while you just get excited bc ??? you get to eat your favourite dish??? again and again???? 

thank you beel you truly know how to touch someone’s insides

also opens up to you and talks to you about his fears and thoughts

expect to get 4 am msgs from beel if he had a nightmare

which would end up in you coming to cuddle him (and belphie also joins sometimes)

which tbh is that even a thing you can complain about?

belphie

is more baby less murder when you’re around

naps on your lap, naps on your shoulder, naps with you anywhere

but also let’s you nap on HIM

besides being soft around you he actually opens up to you too

and talks to you about his traumas and issues

which he has in common with his twin what can you do

so you have weekly cuddle parties with him and beel where you talk about shit and actually make them resolve their issues instead of just,,, ignoring them

also if you’re into each other you probably tease each other and flirt really shamelessly in public while the others cringe and or blush at your language

are you a cowboy? because i want you to ride me all night 

simeon

writes you fancy letters with poetry like lucifer, but his ink is scented and  his envelopes contain pressed flowers more often than not

if you’re together you even do letter sexting if you’re into it

creates characters based on you in his stories (which you don’t believe even if levi points out you that the two of you are kinda similar)

asks you to spend more and more time with him and luke

invites you to picnics, reads to you while your head is in his lap, cooks you snacks

if you’re a theatre kid too,,, you do musical love confessions too,,, sometimes by just reciting the lyrics of really popular musical theatre songs in a death panned voice

cough a heart full of love from les mis but read like poetry through the fence of the house of lamentation cough

asks you cryptic shit hannibal style like “tell me mc what does it mean to want to be consumed whole by another? is it a desire to become something bigger than yourself or is it related to our need to become one with our loved one like some cultures pointed out before?”

you’re either really into his cryptid talk or just roll your eyes and smooch him

diavolo

invites you around to his castle all the time

sometimes he even pulls some weird shenanigans just to make you spend more time with him

expect tea parties with him luci and barbatos in no particular combination

gives you compliments 24/7  even in public

remember how he treats lucifer? he’s that for you too but he’s learned from the lucifer experience to focus on complimenting you as a person more than how you look

if you’re into pda he’ll touch you all the time

if you ever wanted a gomez - morticia romance, here’s your goth big titty himbo that’s way too full of love

if you’re lovers expect to be pampered, i feel like? he doesn’t buy a lot of gifts and such because he’s probably tired of material things but he will make time in his busy schedule for you and spend a lot of time with you

which means more to him than gifts

(we will buy you anything you ask though)

barbatos

actually talks with you about stuff outside rad, the demon bros and diavolo

also invites you to alone time tea or wine time

where you drink and gossip

if satan and asmo are the crowned queens of gossip barbatos is the king of gossip but he doesn’t share his knowledge to most people so nobody knows what he knows

but he knows,,,, a lot

and not only that he knows a lot about people nowadays,,, but imagine the things he knows about like historical figures and such,,, 

so prepare for story time with barbatos where he  talks about how oscar wilde was almost summoned by drunk inccubi during a party once, or how  diavolo cried when he was a kid because he sent a letter to caravaggio asking him to paint his portrait and he said no

also if you get drunk together expect really energetic talkative barbatos destroying DESTROYING everyone (except diavolo ofc)

“lucifer please i once saw you crying because you thought diavolo was ignoring you when you actually forgot to press the send button to your messages ”

if you’re romantically involved diavolo will always be first in his hear but that just means you’ll have to invite diavolo along on your dates which  just means you’ve got a new lover and a new bff

solomon 

he invites you on all kinds of wacky adventures

you  visit witches, go to weird magical forest parties or orgies if you want, you go travelling the mountains for rare herbs

it’s like you’re faust and he’s mephisto  haha the irony and he’s showing you another side of the world you never knew 

ofc the others know about all this but??? they thought it’s normal and didn’t even consider you know nothing about it

but solomon knows what it was like to be just a human

and since he likes you he empathizes with your situation

he also make you meet all kinds of people

since he has 72 contracts and hundreds of years of doing wack stuff he must know some interesting people

and now his friends are your friends 

i feel like romantic solomon would be just him?? but less shady with you especially since now you understand him better 

but also he’ll probably bring you weird shit from his alone expeditions

did you ever want the tears of a mermaid? a carnivorous plant that feeds on emotions? a crying portrait? no? well too bad because now you have a room full of weird items

...that you love and treasure thank you very much

[mochegato]

Hope on Board

Chapter 19 – Let the Rain Fall Down

Chapter 1     Chapter 18

“What do you think?  Looks good right?”  Dick passed a critical eye over the scene in front of him.  “Right,” he confirmed without waiting for a response.  Dick had gotten Marinette’s favorite flowers and had Alfred cook some of her favorite foods, because he wanted it to be special, not take out, and Lord knows, if he tried to cook it would be a disaster.  He’d brought out all the fluffiest blankets and pillows for them to snuggle under after dinner.

“Mrow?” Kismet looked up at him questioningly.  

Dick picked her up to scratch behind her ears.  “I know right?  Do you think she’ll like it?”  Kismet purred and head-butted his chin.  “It has to be perfect.  She deserves perfect.  She’s been working so hard lately, she deserves a break.” He let out a deep breath, checking everything for at least the tenth time.  Tim said she had left about twenty minutes ago so she should be home any minute.

He looked at the flowers again.  Should he put one between his teeth?  That’s romantic isn’t it?  They do that in movies.  He couldn’t think of any at that particular moment, but he was positive he had seen it. Okay, so which one should he choose if he was going to choose one?  He started heading to the flowers and stopped midstride.  The door handle was jiggling.  He stood straight up, then decided leaning against the back of the couch would be sexier.  

He put his hand out to catch himself and leaned, keeping his eyes focused on the door, causing him to miss the back of the couch and stumble, almost face planting into the couch.  He recovered quickly and decided to spare a glance to the position of the couch before leaning against it this time.  He plastered a sexy grin on his face pretending like he hadn’t just almost fell while trying to look cool.

Marinette entered the apartment without looking up. She shook her rain coat a bit out in the hallway to get rid of some rain before she hung it up.  Kismet ran up to greet her, having started moving when the doorknob jiggled, but as soon as she got close to Marinette and the scattering of rain drops, she tried to stop, only sliding a little bit from her momentum. She quickly scooted backward with a scrunched up face, horribly offended by the water.

Marinette let out a light airy laugh at the expression. Dick chuckled too, catching Marinette’s attention.  She looked up, finally noticing the scene he had set.  Her eyes lit up, flitting from each piece Dick had set up.  She grinned at Dick and made her way over to hug him. She wrapped her arms around his waist and rested her chin on his chest so she could give him a lovesick smile. “Hey Bluebird.  What’s going on?”

Dick wove his arms around her as well and gave her his best innocent expression.  “I don’t know what you mean.”

“Uh huh.  So you’ll be fine with me going out with friends tonight?  In fact, I’m actually running late.” She started to pull away from him.

He grunted playfully and pulled her back to his arms. “Oh no, it looks like you’re trapped. Must be a problem with gravity today. Guess you’ll have to cancel.”

Marinette giggled.  “Oh no.  What will we do?”

“Guess we’ll have to stay in,” Dick shrugged.  “What a coincidence we have a full dinner and extremely comfy blankets available.”

Marinette hummed at him.  “It’s almost like someone planned it.”  She raised an eyebrow at him.

Dick nodded thoughtfully.  “Almost.  We must just be really lucky.”

Marinette shook her head with a smile.  “You’re ridiculous.  What is all this?”

“I wanted to spoil you tonight.  I thought you deserved it,” he said sweetly.

Marinette quirked her head at him, brows furrowed in confusion.  “I do? What did I do?”

“Hmm.  If you really need a reason, we can go with you grew four tiny lungs today.  But in reality, I just thought everything about you was so amazing, you deserved to be pampered,” He answered quietly.

Marinette blushed and buried her head in his chest. “Dick…”

“Or,” he interrupted before she could say something deprecatory about herself.  He licked his suddenly dry lips slowly preparing to say what this whole night was about.  Dick brushed her bangs out of her eyes and gently rubbed his thumb on her cheek. His heart was thundering as he prepared to say the words he had realized himself a few days ago.  He gazed into her eyes, his complete affection for her pouring out.  “Or, just because… I love you.”

Marinette’s eyes widened in surprise and her breath hitched.  He said he loved her.  He loved her! An effervescent smile spread across her face.  He loved her. “Dick, I…”

“Mother fu…” Dick yelled out as his phone chimed in a cosmically epic demonstration of bad timing.  He grabbed his phone out of his pocket.  “Somebody better be dying…”  He paused listening to the voice on the opposite side of the line.  “Are you sure?”  An excited smile started to appear.  “Yeah, I’ll be right there.”  He hung up and tucked the phone in his pocket.  This was exactly what they needed.  This could be the key.  This could lead to stopping the Court of Owls latest plan and once their big plot was dismantled, he could finally be confident Marinette and the babies would be safe, well as safe as anyone could be in Gotham, but significantly safer anyway.

He grabbed Marinette by her arms and gave her a quick, excited kiss.  “This is it! This could be exactly what we needed!” He was bouncing on his toes from excitement.  He could not wait for this all to be over and he could finally, finally focus entirely on Marinette, Lucy, and Robert.  “I should be back in one, maybe two days.”  He kissed her cheek and just barely remembered to grab an umbrella as he ran out the door.

<><><><><> 

Patrol was miserable.  It always was when it rained.  She did not get paid enough for this.  She didn’t get paid at all so really this was her own fault.  She should know better.  She sighed as she swung from building to building, trying to find respite under awnings and ledges.  Completely ineffectual things.  Why did she even bother?  It wasn’t going to be any warmer or less miserable under there at this point.  She was soaked and this was stupid.  She was going back to the Cave.  She just wanted to swing by Dick and Marinette’s apartment quickly before she went back.  She was sure Marinette was okay but with Dick leaving suddenly, she just wanted to check on her.

Stephanie settled on the roof and prepared to swing by the windows to check it out when she caught sight of someone standing outside the building.  Sucker, she chuckled to herself.  At least she wasn’t the only stupid one out tonight.  She watched as a car pulled up to the sidewalk and a familiar blonde jumped out to greet the person.  The figure almost collapsed in his arms.  Fuck! That must be Marinette.  What was going on?

Stephanie swung down to the alleyway a few feet away from Marinette and Adrien.  She slid a camera around the corner to see what was going on, the sensitive microphone picking up on their conversation for her.

“What happened?  I thought things were going well,” Adrien asked into her hair.

Marinette shook her head and continued to cry for a few more minutes.  “He… he said I love you.”

Adrien gave her a strange look.  “That’s good isn’t it?  He loves you.  You love him. Celebration time.  Practice making more babies.”

Marinette whimpered and fell further into his arms. “But then he ran away.  He said it and before I could even react, he ran away. He got a call and got so excited. Like that was the most amazing thing that happened to him tonight.  Seconds after saying he loved me for the first time.  And then he just ran away like it was nothing… at least nothing important.”  She sniffled and wiped her eyes, her cheeks immediately getting wetted again by the rain. “I just… I can’t tell.  I can never tell where I am with him.”

Adrien sighed and rubbed her back.  “Maybe it was something big?”

“Bigger than me anyway,” she answered miserably.  “He didn’t even wait for me to respond.”

“You need to talk to him about it,” Adrien said softly

“I have!  He promised he would focus on us.  He promised he would make us a priority, that he wouldn’t just cut out anymore.  I mean, I understand having to leave.  I do. I understand he has to work.  It sucks but it’s work and we have it better than a lot of people, but… does he have to act so excited to leave?” She asked desperately.

“Are you sure you aren’t clinging to something that isn’t right because of the twins?” Adrien asked carefully.

“No!  I mean they’re a driving force, but I love him.  He’s so sweet and thoughtful and funny.  He gets so excited about the littlest things and wants to share them with me.  He’s so supportive.  He thinks about me and considers what I want.” Marinette protested.  He was.  He was all those things.  Adrien just didn’t understand.

“Does he though?” he kept his tone non-confrontational. He needed her to consider his words, and not just get defensive.

“Yes!” She paused.  “No… I don’t know.  I just… I don’t know.  It’s like… when we’re together, it’s amazing.  It’s magical.  We connect so well.  But then he leaves and even when he’s home, if he’s working on work, it’s all he sees. I don’t… I think sometimes maybe I’m the only one feeling like that, but it looks like he is too.  Tonight he put so much effort into making the apartment look so romantic.  I don’t know. It’s wrong, but I don’t know how or why and I’m trying to fix it, but I don’t know what the problem is so I don’t know how to fix it.  And he won’t talk to me about it.”

“Oh, Bugaboo.” He hugged her tighter.  “You can’t fix everything.  There’s no Miraculous Cure for relationships.  If he isn’t willing to make you and the twins a priority, there is nothing you can do to change that.  You just need to decide if that is something you are willing to live with.  Is it something you’re willing to let your children live with.”  He waited a few minutes to let his words set in.  

Tonight had been as surprising as expected.  He had been waiting for it to happen.  Dick had been blowing Marinette off for weeks. But he had been hoping he had been wrong.  And as much as he wanted to go punch some sense into Dick and keep Marinette and the twins far, far away from him, it had to be Marinette’s decision.  “Come on, let’s go back to my place.  We can get pizza and watch bad movies.  A night or two away from the situation might make things clearer.”   Marinette nodded and let him guide her into his car.

Stephanie cursed and considered what to do with the information.  She knew why Dick had left.  She understood his excitement, but Marinette didn’t.  And the dumbass had decided he would not tell his extremely stressed, hormonal girlfriend about it, especially while there was the possibility of her going into early labor if she had too much stress.  Fucking Hell.  She did not get paid enough for this shit.

Okay, so if the dumbass wasn’t going to continue to be a dumbass the rest of them were going to have to pull up the slack.  She pushed her com to activate it.  “Black Bat, Oracle, Hood, we have some talking to do back at the Cave.  Oracle, can you call Red Robin?”  She wouldn’t tell them everything, she didn’t want Dick dead, but she could certainly get a better support network started.

<><><><><> 

He sped through the rain-slicked city streets, weaving between cars and trucks.  He just wanted to get home and it was a home now.  It wasn’t an escape from family, it was his family.  It felt warm and welcoming, relaxing and inviting.  All because of Marinette.  Moving in together was one of the best decisions he had ever made.  They may have moved extremely quickly, but it had worked out beautifully.  He got to fall asleep to Marinette’s even breathing and wake up to her beautiful, bright eyes.

He couldn’t wait to finally see and hold Marinette again. His arms felt too light without her in them.  He parked haphazardly in the closest spot he thought he could find and barely remembered to take his keys out before running toward their apartment.

He had been gone longer than he expected, by about a day and a half, and his whole body felt like there was an underlying electricity pulsing through his veins to finish where they left off.  They finally told each other they loved each other! They loved each other and lived together and were about to have a family together and he was closing in on the Court of Owls plan.  His latest trip was exactly what they needed.  It had broken everything open.  Everything in his life was coming together better than he ever thought it could, far better than he deserved.

He fumbled with the keys to get the door open as quickly as possible.  His fingers weren’t working correctly anymore and for a reason completely unrelated to the massive bruise that was forming on his shoulder and back.  His excited smile faltered when he entered the quiet, dark apartment.  “Marinette?” It was Saturday.  She would normally be home, but the apartment was empty. None of the normal warmth and laughter, no lingering scent from cookies.  She wasn’t there.  And without her there, their home felt like nothing more than a cold room, one he didn’t want to be in anymore.

He looked over to the calendar on the refrigerator. She couldn’t have a doctor’s appointment on Saturday… Damn it!  Baby and Infant CPR classes.  They’d signed up for them a while ago.  He already knew how to give CPR to babies and infants, but it was for Marinette and something for their babies, so they wanted to do it together.  He kicked the cabinets.  Yet another missed event.  Spectacular. He checked the time and grabbed the car keys.  If he pushed it, he could make it there as she was leaving the class and take her out for lunch.  He gave Kismet a scratch and ran out the door again.

Chapter 20

Tags:

@dickinette-february @demonicbusiness @ichigorose @iloontjeboontje @ladybug-182 @toodaloo-kangaroo @dast218 @golden-promises @trippingovermyfeet @emimar7 @laurcad123 @lady-bee-fechin @thewitchwhowaited

[animezing-fandoms]

Father Material

Masterlist

Warnings: None.

Relationships: Nalu, background Gajevy and Albas

Summary: After seeing how good Natsu is with Asuka, Lucy thinks about how good he would be with other kids, possibly theirs. 

A/N: I’ve always thought about writing a one-shot about Lucy thinking about having kids with Natsu after seeing how good he is with Asuka and now this adorable cover for the new 100YQ chapter has given me an excuse to write it! 

-------------

“I am the fierce fire dragon!” Natsu growls and stomps his feet. “I shall destroy this guild hall and there is no wizard alive who can stop me! Mwahaha!” 

“Think again fire dragon!” Asuka says “You’ll never destroy this guild! I’ll defeat you!” 

Natsu leans over to look at her on the ground, kneeling and pointing her toy gun at him. 

“You think you can defeat us!” Happy taunts. “My Master is the fiercest dragon in all the land, no wizard has ever slain him before, what makes you think you can?” 

“Because I’m the best shooter in my guild! I can shoot anything!” Asuka says proudly. 

Natsu laughs evilly and Alzack and Bisca who were sitting at the bar, watching Natsu play with their daughter, laugh at the sight of the wizard and his cat in their dragon costumes while their daughter pretends to shoot them with her toy gun. 

Lucy had been on her way to the guild library to do some reading with Levy but when she saw Natsu and Happy in dragon costumes she had to know what ridiculous antics they were up to. She expected to see them doing something stupid and roll her eyes while debating why she hung around those idiots so much but instead she felt a warmth that started in her chest and made it’s way up to her cheeks when she saw Asuka pointing her toy gun at him and realized that he was playing with her. 

She had felt like this before. There was a time about two years ago when Alzack and Bisca had gone on a job and left Natsu to babysit Asuka. Lucy had initially tagged along with him to help out of fear for the girl’s safety but she quickly realized that Natsu was actually pretty good with children, and she had now idea how attractive that was.

She couldn’t explain why, but something about seeing Natsu play with Asuka made her feel all warm inside and caused her mind to wander to outlandish thoughts of him being like that with a child that they would create together. 

“Pow! Pow!” Asuka shouts and shoots Natsu and Happy in the chest with her toy gun. 

“Oh no!” They both shout and pretend that it really hurt. 

“I’m afraid we’ve been bested my apprentice! This gunslinging wizard is just too powerful!” Natsu shouts. 

“Oh Master, I will avenge you in the afterlife! Ahhh!” He shouts as Natsu falls backwards and they both land on the floor. 

Asuka laughs and jumps on top of them. 

“Look mommy and daddy I killed the dragons!” She cheers. 

“You sure did pumpkin.” Bisca says. 

“Yep, you’re a great shooter just like your mom and I.” Alzack says and wraps his arm around Bisca’s waist. 

Lucy watches Natsu hold Asuka on his chest and lift her up with his arms over his head and she laughs and kicks her legs and waves her arms. 

“Make me fly Natsu! Make me fly!” Asuka shouts. 

“Sure thing kiddo!” Natsu shouts. 

Lucy watches as Natsu runs around the guild hall holding Asuka over his head. 

“Whee!” She shouts. 

Lucy smiles and giggles as she watches. She held her book in one hand and her other was resting over her lower-stomach. She blushes when she realizes that and removes her hand before moving to go downstairs to Levy. What was getting into her? Hopefully no one saw her staring at Natsu and holding her womb like she was yearning to bear his children. 

----------

“Asuka, come get your lunch!” Bisca calls to her from the bar. 

“Oh yay! I’m so hungry!” Asuka says. 

Natsu sets her down and she runs over to her parents. 

“Hey Natsu why don’t you come take a seat, you must be tired after chasing that rugrat around.” Gajeel says.

“Me tired?” Natsu asks. “No way man, I’ve still got tons of energy! Little Asuka would have to play with me for a whole week straight before I got tired.” Natsu laughs.

“Then no wonder bunny girl was looking at you like that, gihee.” Gajeel laughs.

“Huh, Lucy was watching me?” Natsu asks. “And was she looking at me funny?” 

“She was looking at you the same way Levy looks at me sometimes, like she wants to have your babies.” Gajeel says. 

Natsu looks shocked. 

“Wait does this mean Lucy’s having my baby?!” Natsu shouts and Gajeel spits out his drink.

“I don’t know, you tell me! How the heck would I know if you two have been fooling around or not?” Gajeel shouts at him. 

“But I have been fooling around with her!” Natsu shouts back. 

Everyone in the guild hall collectively gasps and they all stare at Natsu in shock, not expecting that answer from him. 

“I pull pranks on her all of the time! Is that what you mean? Is that how you gave Levy your babies?” Natsu asks. 

Everyone groans and bangs their heads against something. 

“What? No that’s not how it happens you idiot!” Gajeel exclaims then turns to some of the older guild members who were sitting at a table together. “How the hell did Salamander grow up around a bunch of perverts like you and never learn where babies come from?!” Gajeel exclaims. 

“It wasn’t our fault. We tried to teach him along with the other kids once they hit puberty.” Macao says. 

“But Natsu just wouldn’t pay attention to what we were saying and kept trying to fight either one of us or Gray.” Gildarts explains. 

“So Makarov told us that we should just give up on trying to teach him ourselves and that he’d either figure it out on his own or he’d come to us for advice once he falls in love with someone and wants to know what to do.”  Wakaba says. 

“Well that explains a lot then.” Gajeel says before looking back at confused Natsu. 

“So Lucy’s not pregnant with my kid then?” He asks. 

“Nope. Definitely not, and probably not for a long time.” Gajeel says and sits back down. 

“Then why was she looking at me the way Levy looks at you?” Natsu asks. 

“She wasn’t looking at you the way she was because she’s already having your kids, she was looking at you like she could imagine having your kids, and having you take care of them. When guys do stuff like play with kids like how you were playing with Asuka and making her happy and giggly and stuff is attractive to girls. It shows them that you’d be a good father if you were to have kids with them.” Gajeel explains. 

“So Lucy was looking at me like she wants to have kids with me because of how I was playing with Asuka?” Natsu asks. 

“Yep. She thinks you’re good father material Salamander. If she wasn’t already in love with you, she’s probably falling even harder for you now, gihee.” Gajeel says and laughs before taking another sip of his ale. 

Happy flew over to where Carla was sitting. 

“So Carla, do you think I’m good father material too?” Happy asks. 

“Well I will admit you are rather good with children, but you and Natsu still need a lot of work on the romantic aspect of having a lifetime relationship with someone you want to have a family with.” Carla says.

----------

“Oh there you are Lu, what took you so long?” Levy asks as Lucy walks into the library. 

“Sorry I’m late Levy, I just got a little distracted upstairs.” Lucy says and rubs the back of her head. 

“What was going on? I thought I heard some sort of commotion going on up there, did Natsu start another fight?” Levy asks. 

“No, actually he made one up. He and Happy dressed up like dragons for Asuka to pretend to fight them. Then after they were done, he picked her up and ran around the guild hall with her while she pretended to fly. It was...really cute.” Lucy says. 

Levy smirks as Lucy recounts what happened upstairs, noticing the way she was blushing, holding her hand over her stomach, and how her gaze kept shifting from the table to Levy’s baby bump. 

“Wow, looks like you think Natsu’s good father material for you.” Levy says and Lucy shrieks in embarrassment and her face turns red. 

“What no! I don’t! I mean...I do think he would make a good father but that doesn’t mean I’d want to be the one to have kids with him or anything like that.”  Lucy nervously rambles. “I mean, sure he’s good with kids but as far as I know, I don’t even thinks he knows where they come from and it’s not like he’s even into romance anyway.” 

“That’s true, but that hasn’t stopped you from falling for him, has it Lu?” Levy asks and comes over to her blushing friend. “Sure it might seem hopeless right now but a girl can dream. I remember I used to think that there was no way Gajeel would ever fall in love with me and now here I am pregnant with his kids.” Lucy smiles as Levy brings her hand to her bump. “So have a little faith in Natsu, I’m sure one day he’ll be busting down your door asking you to start a family.” 

Lucy and Levy smiled until they heard the door burst open and turned to find Natsu in his dragon suit in the doorway. 

“Hey Lucy do you wanna have my baby?” He asks. 

Levy gasps and covers her mouth in surprise and Lucy screams in embarrassment and shock.

“Natsu what the hell!” Lucy shouts and whacks him in the face with the book she was holding. “You can’t just come running in here and ask a girl that question! Why in the world would you even ask me that you idiot!” 

“Because Gajeel said you wanted to have kids with me!” Natsu exclaims.

“He said what! Where would he get that crazy idea from!” Lucy shouts. 

“Because of the way you were looking at me when I was playing with Asuka. Gajeel said the way you were looking at me means you think I’m good father material.” Natsu explains. 

“Oh...” Lucy says and puts the book down. 

“Was Gajeel lying or something? If you want me too I’ll go beat him up.” Natsu offers.

“No you don’t have to do that.” Lucy laughs. “He wasn’t lying.” 

Levy quietly slips out of the library to leave the two of them alone to talk. 

“You’re really good with Asuka Natsu. She has so much fun playing with you and you look like you have a lot of fun playing with her, so sometimes it makes me think about how you’d be with other kids, and maybe your own kids in the future and how lucky they’d be to have you as a father.” Lucy says and blushes before Natsu slides his hands around her waist. 

“They’d be even luckier if they had you as a mother.” Natsu says and Lucy gasps and her eyes sparkle. “I may be good at playing with kids but as far as taking care of them and making them I haven’t got a clue. But you’re really good at taking care of people Lucy, heck me and Happy would be living in a messy house and living off of fish and only bathing once a week if it weren’t for you cleaning up our place, keeping us fed and nagging us to bathe more often.”  Lucy laughs. “You taught us how to take care of ourselves Lucy, I’m a better person now because of you and I couldn’t think of anyone else I’d want to have kids with. So do you wanna have kids with me like Levy and Gajeel?” 

“Natsu I’d love to but I don’t think we’re anywhere near ready to have kids yet. There’s a lot more you have to do with someone first before you start a family with them.” Lucy explains. 

“Like what?” Natsu asks. 

They hear the door open behind them and Natsu looks down and sees Asuka holding her toy gun and pointing it at him.

“Oh no! The Fire Dragon has captured a princess! Don’t worry I’ll save you!” Asuka says. 

Lucy laughs when she realizes that Asuka was referring to her as the princess and she holds onto Natsu’s shoulders as he lifts her bridal style up into his arms and laughs evilly. 

“Oh no! Please save me from the terrifying dragon gunslinging wizard!” Lucy shouts. 

“No way! You’ll never take her from me, she’s mine!” Natsu shouts. 

“Wait that’s it! I forgot the Fire Dragon is actually a cursed prince. The princess is the only one who can turn him back with true love’s kiss!” Asuka says. 

Natsu looks surprised and confused as he debates on whether he should play along or not because he doesn’t want to make Lucy uncomfortable but then he feels her lips against his cheek and blushes.

“Let’s start there.” She whispers to him as she unzips the dragon suit and Natsu steps out of it. 

“Yay I broke the curse!” Asuka cheers and runs over to Lucy and she hugs her. 

Natsu kneels down on the ground next to them and wraps them both in his arms before kissing Lucy’s cheek. 

“Okay, we’ll start there.” He tells Lucy before looking down at the adorable girl in her arms and both of them wonder if one day they’ll have their own little girl to hold just like this. 

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A/N: Please comment if you enjoyed! 

[jay-and-dean]

Same 3/4 Same names

By Roonyxx and Jay-and-dean

Pairings : AU Dean x reader, Dean x reader

Summary : Two Deans… What could go wrong ?

Serie Warnings : Smut, Angst, hurt (and jealous) Dean, hurt AU Dean, hurt reader… hurt everyone. Swearing, Alcohol. (15.13 kinda spoilers ?)

Wordcount : 3.3k

Note : This is a collaboration beetween both of us. We can’t both edit the same post, so we decided we would post 1 chapter/2 each. So if you want to read chapter 4, it will be edited on @roonyxx​ ‘s blog… TOMORROW.

We both worked as much on this story and it’s the result of both our brains but also both our hearts.

Please, if you want to show love for this story, don’t forget we were together in this.

Part 1 : Same eyes

Part 2 : Different hearts

Roonyxx Masterlist

Jay’s Masterlist

_________________________________

3. Same names

           Y/n was curled up on one of Dean’s comfy armchairs, holding her knees against herself, warming her hands around her cup of coffee. And she was just doing nothing. 

           At least she looked like she was doing nothing, because in her head, she was listing her faults. One by one, hurting herself with everything she could have done better, differently or not have done at all.  

           She had spent nights crying over the man she loved, as he was out with some girl named Lucy or Vicky or anything, was it that bad to finally find some comfort in a man’s arms ?

           Yes it was. Because that was not any man she slept with. 

           And as using her best friend’s double to satisfy her needs was not enough, she had hurt another Dean too. She could remember his face clearly, his voice when he said he loved her, and she was starting to understand why he knew her body even better than she did herself. How he kissed her and touched her… And thinking he knew everything about her made her shiver. 

“Can I come in ?” Dean’s voice echoed softly and she jumped a little.

She was so far in her thoughts that it took a second for her to come back and turn her tired eyes on him. 

His tall shape in the door frame was one of the thing she always loved the most, seeing him come to her, to say goodnight, to ask her if the researches were giving something, to offer something to eat… Whatever the reason was, everytime he appeared at the door like this, it was like the sun was coming through the clouds.

She was far from knowing how nervous it always made him. After all these years, he was still wondering if he would bother her, if she needed space or to be alone for a while ; if she was tired of the boorish men she lived with sometimes. He had never had a woman at home before (Lisa was different, it was her house, it was her life, and the whole situation couldn’t be compared), and a woman he loved like that...

He was wrong. He was wrong each time he thought she would rather him not showing up, he was wrong each time he persuaded himself that she was better without him… But he didn’t know she was just waiting for him most of the time, and so he was nervous.

That precise moment was way worse though. He was terrified. 

Terrified of his own feelings, of what he would find on her, a new hickey, a scratch mark… Because everything that reminded him that his other him had had her was like a stab in the guts. And he will see the mark of his elbow on her face. Hurting her was his worst nightmare. He was also terrified of what she was going to say; of what he was thinking so loud but never wanted to let it slip.

Don’t push her away, his alternate version had said. Do not let our own self wallowing bullshit stop from being with her. But Dean didn’t think of this as self wallowing, just truth, he wasn’t ready to understand how much she needed him yet. So he kept thinking he needed to be a better friend to her, apologize for his drunk behavior and hitting her accidentally. But not once he came close to convincing himself he should try to change their relationship to something romantic.  

He was damaged and all, dangerous and cursed. That’s how Dean Winchester pictured himself.

“This room is yours” she shrugged. “I can leave if you want.”

“Leave ? No !” he shook his head, coming in hesitantly. “I wanted to apologize.”

“Dean…” she started, not feeling like she deserved any apology.

But he came closer, sat on the edge of the other chair, turned to her, and didn’t let her speak.

“No, really. I… I acted like a dick” he looked down at his open palms. “I drank too much and… my behavior was…” he rubbed his face. “I was really rude and… hurtful. And I punched you.”

“You didn’t punch me, I came too close to your elbow” she smiled softly, trying to ease his obvious guilt. 

“No” he grunted. “I was being violent and I was drunk… There’s no excuse for that.” 

She tightened her grip around her coffee mug, what was her excuse ?

“You were hurt” she stated, hoping he would somehow explain why he was that hurt. 

“Yeah well, no reason to make you go through all this.”

The second he said he was indeed hurt, her heart sank a little lower in her belly. She knew it, just, hearing him admit she had caused him pain was barely bearable to her. 

           She bit her cheek and nodded, not finding her next words.

“I… I shouldn’t have talked to you like this, drank like an idiot and leave you and Sam with strangers” he continued. “And I shouldn’t have fought with him… especially if… you like him.”

“Like him ?” she half strangled on her coffee sip. “Dean… I think you misunderstood. We…”

The word we felt like a stab in Dean’s chest but he didn’t move a muscle, patiently waiting for her to break his heart.  

“We had both our reasons to… get intimate” she said with shame. “But that was one time, I’m not the woman he wants, and I don’t want more with him.”

“Sam is making them IDs and a giving them a credit card. They will leave, are you… disappointed ?” he dared asking though his teeth.

“No” she said sincerely, but the pain she felt for him since she knew his loss gave a sad tone to her answer. “I…” she started, her breath short in her lungs crushed with shame and guilt. “I would have gone crazy if you… or Sam… had slept with someone looking exactly like me. It’s your body. It’s…” she swallowed the tears, looking in the bottom of her mug. “It’s your intimacy.”

He sighed. She was right, he hates that, but not for the intimacy reasons... At least it was really not what was hurting that much. 

“It’s not that” he mumbled sincerely.

But when she lifted her wet eyes on him to encourage him to say more, he became silent again and she knew she could wait a lifetime, he would just not say another word about that.

“I’m so confused” she admitted. 

“I’m sorry.”

“Do you know… His girlfriend…” she started and he moved a little on his seat.

“That he was engaged to… the you from his world ? Yeah… Sam told me.”

“I’m so selfish” she slightly whined, playing with her mug. “He was so hurt Dean… If you had seen his eyes, he’s broken and…”

“And I punched him in the face…” he whispered, feeling actually bad for hurting the other him for the first time. “He… He talked a little to me. He is really…” 

He couldn’t finish his sentence. In love ? That was too painful to say. 

“I get why he did it…” he sighed. “It was kinda selfish of him, but why would you call yourself selfish ?”

She looked down, she couldn’t just tell him she had jumped on his double because she couldn’t resist an occasion to feel him, his lips on hers, his hands on her skin... to fulfil her deepest desires.

“He had… Something I wanted” she looked down, that sounded even worse.

“Oh ?“ he raised his eyebrows, having no idea what she was talking about.

Maybe she had a physical need, a kinky desire ? Maybe she just needed tenderness or to feel desired and beautiful… Dean couldn’t deny that his alternate him was good at making her feel special.

“But it wasn’t… real” she sighed. 

Of course it was very real, but the fleeting illusion of having her Dean was not. Because love is not about having and the body is just a part of it anyway ; the other Dean looked like him, but he never lived what Dean lived, what made him, and they didn’t have that history she had with the man looking at her. They never sneaked out of the motel room to the pool at night together, he never cried the loss of his father in her arms after he had to crush that damn pearl.... But as he couldn’t know all those thoughts in her mind, he grew more confused.

“Dean I…” she caught his attention, tears fighting her voice. “I’m really sorry I… feel like crap.”

I feel like crap. That was the kind of things you only said to your closest friends, because it was different from I screwed up or I regret. I feel like crap, was either a confession of self-hate or a call for help. 

Y/n and Dean had a relationship where this thing could be said, he already did, and now was her turn…

“You know, I really over reacted, Y/n, please don’t feel bad because I can’t handle some... things in me” he avoided the word feeling, but put a hand on her knee. 

“It’s not you, Dean, really. I c-can’t get rid of the idea that I abused your intimacy…”

He frowned. Intimacy was a complicated concept for him. Since possession and Hell, since Michael, the integrity of his body -a body that had been cut, burned, shattered, boiled, skinned, stabbed… a body that had been used to kill, torture, threaten…- had never really been respected, and the fact that, without even touching him, she felt that bad for that, made him love her more.

She had always been the only one trying to figure out how he could live the horrors going on, how he could feel, asking the right questions, even if he rarely answered them…

“You abused nothing” he cut her. “That’s how messed up our world is, if I had a twin brother, this idea wouldn’t even come to your mind.”

That was different because in her head she knew that she had undressed the other Dean to see him.

“I shouldn’t have asked him to kiss me” she continued and Dean’s stomach contracted. “If I had knew what it meant for him, how painful…”

“He’s a grown up” Dean stated. “He makes his own choices, and to be honest, I still think he kinda used you.”

“No Dean…” she sighed.

She had understood the other Dean. Paradoxically, it was in their own selfish use of one another that they had found each other, and a bond made of respect and empathy had grown between them. But she couldn’t explain that… To anyone.

           Sam appeared at the door with a sigh. His eyes laid on Dean’s hand on her thigh and it warmed him.

“Everything is ready” he stated and stayed in the door frame for a second, waiting for an answer.

As Y/n didn’t talk, her eyes back on her coffee mug, Dean gave his brother one of these looks that meant a lot of things. This one was saying “It’s complicated but, we will be here in a moment, just give her a minute.” Sam, of course, understood what his brother told him without a word and left.

“I think we should say goodbye” Dean murmured with a heartache, still hating that she looked so sad when it came to his other self.

His hand on her thigh gave a little squeeze and she dared touching his hand for a second, her index finger gently rubbing a freckle here.

“Yes” she just stated.

           She got up, still clinging to the cup in her hands like it could hold her back. Dean followed her silently as she walked to the library, he could see she was a little tense.

           The Sams and alternate universe Dean were in the war room, bags on the table, standing a little awkwardly. Y/n looked at them, their tall frames and charisma invading the room. Sam and his double were facing each other and even Dean looked small next to those giant men. And Dean wasn’t a short man, far from it. 

           They were talking about Hunter Corp, alternate universe John Winchester’s operation. Sam seemed to want to know everything about it, and until the last minute with them, he would keep asking questions about how people dealt with knowing the truth, how financers worked, how hunting was organized. He needed to know if such an operation was making a true difference. But in the end, Y/n thought, their world had disappeared and not this one. 

She didn’t dare walking to that other Dean right away, staying a few feet away.

           His hair were back to being brushed flat on his head, giving him a cute nice-guy look, he was wearing his white shirt and sand coat again, those bracelets she really liked at his wrist. And when he saw her, a soft smile appeared on his face. 

           This little move of his lips was a sign of their new complicity, it was sincerely friendly, and in the same time filled by the emotions of seeing the face of the woman he loved, and that’s how she understood it. 

But her Dean didn’t, a burning jealousy still squeezing his heart. He reached to her from behind and flattened his palm on her lower back softly, just to remind her he was still here.

           She turned to him for a second, searching his green eyes, and noticing that scar on his chin that the other, fancier Dean didn’t have. She loved this scar, she loved every scars on his body and on his heart, even if she would give her life for him to get more.  

“Thank you” she told him earning a light smile.

She was thanking him for being him, and he thought she did for supporting him.

Then she walked to the other men in the room, letting her fingers graze the familiar map-table.

“It was a pleasure meeting another Y/n, a really nice one” said man-bun Sam with an unreadable look. 

Y/n couldn’t help but glimpse at Sam, her own regular friend Sam before she answered, like it could help her keeping her mind clear. And, as usual, it did. The smart compassionate light in his hazel pupils eased her still half-panicked half-confused brain and she could answer.

“It was really nice meeting you too. Where are you going ?”

“Brazil” alternate Sam nodded. “But we still have to find a way to fix our world, and without our trained hunters and equipment, if it is even possible.”

“I really hope it is” she bit her lip, doubting it was like everyone did, but wasn’t it the essence of a Winchester to try the impossible ?

“Did Sam gave you phones ?” she asked and her friend nodded. “If you need me to help with research or anything…”

Both tall hazel eyed hunter looked down for a second in a creepily synchronized expression of light embarrassment. 

“I think…” Man-bun Sam said with that smile that only he mastered, that very polite and soft, but also very slightly irritated smile of his. “I think it’s better if we don’t stay too much in touch, Y/n, Sam...” he posed, evidently disturbed by the use of his own name. “Gave us names and tips, we will do just fine. My… brother needs to move on.” He ended a little lower.

She bit the inside of her cheek and sighed.

“Of course” she stated with all the dignity she could find in herself, even if she felt accused, unable to distinguish her own feeling of guilt from what the man was actually insinuating.

But his next words warmed her heart a little. 

“Thank you for being so understanding. You really are, in any universe, someone noble despite what dad used to claim.”

For a second, there was a hesitation, alternate universe Sam moved his arms, like he wanted to hug her, just like Sam always did, and like this Sam probably used to do. He had lost her too, and if she was this important to Dean… she must have been really important to his brother too.

But he didn’t hug her, and just put a hand on her arm kindly.

His brother, however, he hugged her the second she walked to him, wrapping his suede covered arms around her.

“You stay cautious, Love” he said letting go when his double’s eyes darken. “Especially with demons…” 

“I know…” she said sadly. “I will.”

“Y/n…” he let out in a sigh, taking a few steps back, taking her with him.

He didn’t took her to another room, and she would probably not have followed him anyway, but just a few feet away, so that his whispers wouldn’t be heard if he kept them low. 

“Did you talk to him ?” he murmured, searching her face.

“I… Listen…” she tried but he let out a sigh.

“You listen, his feelings seem to be an issue for him, at least talking about it, even to himself” he whispered, getting a little closer to be discreet. “But you have to talk to him, believe me.”

“Dean…” saying that, she looked back to see the man they were talking about. “You and your Y/n, it’s not Dean and me, he doesn’t…”

“He doesn’t what ?” he cut her, shaking his head a little in disapproval. “You… You’re a lot like him actually.”

She lifted her eyes to dive in his, her face stern, she didn’t know what that meant, but be like the man she admired the most could only be a good thing.

“He needs you” he insisted a little louder and she hushed him.

“He doesn’t, you don’t know him.”

“Don’t I ?” asked.

This question was confusing, who did understand Dean better ? Someone who knew everything he had been through, or someone that didn’t but was… She frowned and cleared her throat. She needed to change the subject. Make things right as much as she could, forget about all this to get back to be the best friend possible.

“I’m sorry” she stated. “I feel like I have made things a lot worse, salt on the wound.”

“You didn’t. You’re not allowed to feel bad about it, okay ?” he took her hand, not noticing that this world Dean was looking at them, clenching his jaw, frustrated that he couldn’t hear them. “You gave me closure and I am just grateful. I will be okay…”

She smiled weakly at him and nodded. 

“Dean” his brother rushed him a little, already holding his bag. 

“Yes…”

She turned and gave the men waiting a shy smile, ready to join them, but he walked in front of her, looked at her in the eyes and bent to hug her once more, not letting go so quickly this time. As she hugged back, she looked above his shoulder to Dean watching them.

“Y/n and I were not just engaged” he murmured in her ears, making her shiver. She kept her eyes on the man she loved, he was staring back with his hands in his pockets. “We were… are soulmates. It’s not a way of speaking, Fate told us, Cupid confirmed.” 

Her pupils dilated and Dean noticed it. 

The man holding her finally let go.

“Goodbye Y/n” he smiled and reached her face to wipe a tear she hadn’t even noticed.

“Goodbye Dean.”

           And he left, they left. Escorted by her Dean, they took the metal stairs as she stayed frozen playing his words again and again in her head.

Part 4 will be edited (tomorrow) in @roonyxx​‘s blog

________________________

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Roonyxx will put her tags in the reblog

[multi-fandom-imagine]

For the Assassin’s Creed ask meme... all of them 😂

I’m joking, of course. Do the ones you want to, I’m looking forward to seeing who is your favourite assassin 😉

A/n:....I’m gonna do it! Also all the video’s below are from my game play.

Favorite Historical Assassin:

100% Leonardo! I just love him so much and the relationship he shares with Ezio plus He is just so damn adorable.

annd Alcibiades....I romanced his ass so hard with Alexios.

Favorite Game:

I would say my favorite game would be between the second Assassin’s Creed { Ezio’s first game } Black Flag and Assassin's Creed III. 

Favorite DLC:

The Ripper DLC in Syndicate...100%. I loovve seeing a older Jacob and Evie and it’s awesome how the Incorporated Jack into the Assassin’s timeline. Though the whole Alexios going up against the Greek God’s was fun too.

Favorite Weapon:

The Hidden Blade, I love how each Assassin has their own blade.If I had to pick a favorite blade then I would go for Connor’s { His Pivot Blade is awesome}, Ezio’s and Jacob’s.

Favorite Supporting Character:

Adéwalé...man I just love this character, him and Edward had the best friendship, though I would also have to say James Kidd man both of their deaths broke me. 

Favorite Villain

Haytham Kenway and Crawford Starrick, I reaaally love these two. Hard not to like Haytham when you play as the man for half the game and Crawford is just amazing.

Least Favorite Game:

I’m sorry...but I would have to say Unity....I couldn’t even finish the game because of all the bugs. I did play the game on my Xbox360 so I may have to buy it for my PS4 to see if anything has change.

Least Favorite Protagonist:

Right now I would have to say Eivor...I mean I haven’t played AC: Vahalla much though I just think he is a bore.

Favorite Mission/Sequence:

I really love Assassin’s Creed III and all the mission’s in that game are really good{ dont know why that game gets so much hate }. Though the missions I enjoyed the most was the Battle Of Bunker hill and the whole Boston Tea Party Scene. I love how Connor just look’s at his father as he drops the tea into the Boston Harbor.

Odyssey  and Syndicate had a lot of really good Mission's two 

Best Quote:

“I see what you're saying Evie. We need The Rooks!”  

“You're not starting a gang called The Rooks!”

Favorite Plot Twist:

OKay....100% when Desmond kills Lucy....I just remember trying to stop it but once it was done...I just placed my Xbox controller down and walked off.

Favorite Modern-Day Assassin:

Shaun Hasting’s look at him...look at my boy! I just love him soo much.

Most Underrated Game:

Assassin’s Creed: III- Man I don’t get why this game get’s so much hate. 

Most Underrated Character:

Arno & Connor.

While I did not enjoy Assassin's Creed: Unity, Arno was still a great character.

Also Connor is just adorable....just look at these two amazing boy’s.

A game you think Ubisoft should remaster:

I’d like to see the original game get a remaster, it was the first so I think it deserves it the most.

Thoughts on the Movie:

We don’t talk about the movie.

F(uck), M(arry), or K(ill) with three AC Characters:

Fuck: Alexios

Marry: Ezio

Kill: Shay

Favorite Historical Setting:

While all the historical settings are amazing I would have to go with Odyssey or Origins.

The Greek and Egyptian gods are my favorite things 

Coolest Piece of Eden:

I’d have to say I’m stuck between the Apples of Eden,Spear of Leonidas and the Shrouds of Eden.

Favorite Historical Figure Cameo:

.

Syndicate had a lot of good ones like

Charles Darwin. Charles Dickens.

Favorite Female Character:

Evie! I love her so much

Scene that made you cry:

Achilles and Kidd’s death made me tear up but I think it was Phoibe’s death that really got me.

She was such a sweet girl and it was adorable by how much she looked up to Alexios and she was really part of his family. It’s heartbreaking, you can hear it in his voice by how much it broke the man and it stay’s with him through out the whole game.

It’s even worse when you see her in the DLC and Alexios has to send her away to the ‘heavens’ so she can be safe and happy.

The death Scene-

The Good bye scene from the DLC

Scene that made you laugh:

This mission...below { part of my AC: Odyssey playthrough }

Favorite Templar:

Haytham...I god damn love this man.

Favorite romantic relationship:

Alexios x Alkibiades

Favorite friendship:

Leonard and Ezio defiantly have the best friendship though I also love the relationship between Edward and his crew.

How many games have you played?  Which ones?:

Assassin’s Creed. Assassin’s Creed II. Assassin’s Creed Brotherhood. Assassin’s Creed III. {DLC included} Assassin’s Creed IV- Black Flag. Assassin’s Creed Unity. Assassin’s Creed Syndicate. { DLC included} Assassin’s Creed Rouge. Assassin’s Creed Origins {DLC -still playing } Assassin’s Creed Odyssey { DLC- Still playing.} Assassin’ Creed Valhalla { Currently Playing }.

[demivampirew]

Keep Calm and go to London chapter 17

Synopsis: This is the story of (y/n), a successful actress,  musician, musical producer and songwriter. After battling depression and  breaking up a long relationship, she seeks for a change of air,  escaping LA for a while going to visit some friends in London and there  she meets Henry. -Disclaimer: some chapters are mostly smut.

Previous Chapters:

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5 (smut)

Chapter 6

Chapter 7 (smut)

Chapter 8 (smut/roleplay)

Chapter 9

Chapter 10

Chapter 11

Chapter 12 (smut)

Chapter 13

Chapter 14 (smut)

Chapter 15

Chapter 16 (smut/ s&m)

Triggers:   Crying; talking about depression, low self-steem and body image issues; talking about toxic relationships.

Tag list:  Here’s the incredible people who showed me support (thank  you    so  much for that) and people who asked me to tag them too  ☺️   (I    think  I will write a few chapters of this story, if you want me to  tag     you, tell me ☺️   ) @cavillanche @mary-ann84 @henry-owns-these-tatas @yespolkadotkitty @dancingwendigo   constip8merm8     penwieldingdreamer iloveyouyen  littlefreya  wondersofdreaming    alyxkbrl solariumss  sweetybuzz25 @thethirstyarchive @agniavateira   @honeyloverogers @hell1129-blog   @lunedelorient​  @michelle-1185​  

Henry was playing games while you played with Kal, making the little bear follow you around the house. It surprise you the amound of energy that the puppy had. While running, you got caught in the the door knob of one bedroom and ripped the t-shirt you were wearing, living a little hole in it. You cursed because that was one of your boyfriend's t-shirts. You were in trouble, for sure. You put your best sad kitty face and went to Henry to tell him about the t-shirt. He was sitting on the couch with his laptop and closed it after you sat next to him, pointing out that you have something to confess. He put his whole attention on you as you showed him his peace of clothing and apologized, assuring him that you'd tried to fix it. He looked at you with a cute smile and told you that was ok. He was not mad at you at all, "it's just a t-shirt" he said and gave you a kiss on the cheeks to make you feel better and proved to you that he wasn't angry at all. You hugged him and kissed him. He was the best. - I'm still sorry, though. I know you love this t-shirt.- you apologized once again. - It's kind of special.- he admitted. - Where did you bought it? I can replace it, I'll buy you the exact same one if I find it. - I didn't bought it; it was a gift. - From Charlie? Maybe I could send him a direct message in Instagram and ask him where he bought it. I will ask you his phone number, but we haven't officially met yet so he might find it weird if I text him. - No, it wasn't Charlie.- he answered and then took a deep breath before speaking again.- An ex-girlfriend gave it to me for a birthday. - Oh, I see.- you replied and went silent for a moment. - Was it Lucy? You questioned curiously. He raise an eyebrow and looked at you. - No, not her. - he said with a suspious tone. - Tara, Gina? -you asked again. -Sorry, I'm really curious - you said smiling - Tara. - he informed you - Wait, how do you know my exs's names? I never said her names to you? - he pointed out and you blushed of embarresment. "shit" you thought. - Have you been googling me by any chance? - I had to make sure you were not a serial killer - you joked, making an "ops" face. - I'm curious. I wanted to know how were the girls that you dated before me. - That's ok. I must admit that I googled you as well. - And what did you found out about me? - you were dying to know - That you have more money than me; that you're on the top 20 of Forbes lists of most influencial people; that people adore you on the internet. Basically, that you're ten times more amazing that I thought. Oh, I also found out that you have a college degree from Harvard. - Yep. While it cost me a lot. I practically did not sleep for like 5 years - you joked. It was kind of true, though. - Did you not expected you girlfriend to be the kind of person who goes to college? - I didn't imagine that giving all the work that you've done in your long career you'd had found to study for a degree. - he explained - I'm awesome - you said proudly - Giving my impressive career and my high grades in highschool, I was accepted at Harvard. I had to arrenge a few things to make the time, but I reached my goal. So, now you're in front of a Master of Arts and Doctor of Philosophy. - My baby is smart, damn! - he replied proudly. You gave him the brightest smile. - I found out that you were enganged once.- you continue the topic discused before. - Yes. It didn't work out, though. - Yes, I figured that out. Otherwise, it'd be an interesting situation the one that we're in right now. - Yes, it'd be for sure- he admited while laughing for your comment. - Do you missed them? - you questioned. He gave you a look, trying to see what you expected of him by those weird questions. - Come on, I know that you have a past. I have one too. I won't judge you. I just want to know how you feel about them. Do you still care for them? - Yes. - he admited.- But I don't do it in a romantic way. They were people important to me. Now they're part of my past, but I still want them to be happy. Sometimes I missed them a bit, more nostalgia for the good memories than anything, but I wouldn't go back with any of them, especially since I've met you. Now, I only have eyes for you. - he assured you, kissing your hand. - I understand.- you say smiling.- I still miss Jared sometimes. Like you said, I don't want to be with him at all and I only have eyes for you, but he was a great part of my life. He was the first man I've been with and, until you showed up in my life, he was the only one. - you confessed. You've talked before about having intimacy with few men, but never actually told him that was actually only one man before him. He looked at you surprise. - You are telling me that you only been intimate with two men and I'm one of them? -he asked you, speechless. - Yes. Before Jared I was afraid of being intimate with someone because I've always had body image issues. I didn't felt comfortable with my body and didn't want anybody to see me naked. When I started to date him, I wasn't ready to sleep with him and he respected that. He actually waited a whole year for me to finally be ready to have sex. I think that was another reason why even though it was clear he was not a good boyfriend, I stood with him. I always remembered that he promised to be patient and wait and not force me and he kept his word. After our first breakup, I was in that angry stage of "I hate all men", then soon enough I went to the "I don't hate men, but I don't have time to date either" I concentrated in study and work. Then, when I got back together with him, at first we'd had sex all the time, because despite the fact that I took care of my own pleasure during my time alone, I enjoyed to be intimate with another person that I cared about. But soon enough, things started to go South for us, and we barely had sex or was boring sex and I did most of the work. On one occasion, after a month of not doing it because he was working in his latest album, I put on a sexy lingerie and try to seduce him and he completely ignored me, like I wasn't even there. That broke me. By that point, I was already having body issues again, but that finally got to me and, until I met you, never again felt confident with my body or felt sexy. Knowing that a man like you was interested on me, made me feel great and then my confident side came back to me. - you explain, smiling at him. He kissed your hand again. - You know, I used to like him. I've met him twice and seemed like a nice guy. Now, I kind of want to punch him for hurting you. - He didn't do it un purpose, though. I know, so typical of me to deffend him, but that's true. I've known him for a long time. We were friends before and went through difficult times together until one day our friendship turned into something else. But now, I think those hard times we went through and that we've been surporting each other is the reason why he wanted to be with me. Why everytime we fought and I said that I was leaving he'd beg me to stay... because he knew that not matter what, he could count on me to be there for him. He clearly lost all the love and desire that he once felt for me, on the last period of our relationship I was just his support system; the one person he could count to help him when he need it. He's not a bad guy, but he was selfish. He concentrated on his needs and did not think on what I need it or what was the best for me. When I was diagnosed with major depression last year and was on those periods in which I would cry for entire days, for the first time in our entire relationship, he cancel a few plans to stay with me and hold me while I cried. But he didn't do it for love, no; he did it because he felt guilty. At that moment, he realized that he probably should have let me go, but he couldn't do that. As much as he'd love to have his single life back, he wanted me to be there for him, but he also knew that as soon as I walked out of the door, he would never see me again. So he kept me, unhappy and miserable until I finally realized myself from that toxic life I was living. - you finished and looked at your boyfriend's eyes. Henry was stroking your face and your hair. He looked worried and sad for hearing all you went through. - Your ex girlfriends were lucky. - you told him smiling - They had you. - I'm not perfect. I made mistakes as well, but I always try to look after their needs as well as mine. - That sounds like perfect to me. Perfection is not about not making mistakes, but recognize that you make them and try to correct them. Is not bad to look after your needs, we all need that, it's part of loving yourself, but, in a relationship, you have to care for your partner's needs as well. So yeah, you're the perfect boyfriend.- you assured him and he smiled. - I've seen photos of them and I must admit they're pretty, at least base on looks. The blonde one, Tara, if it wasn't weird, I'd totally high-five you for getting that chick. Even I must admit that she's hot. Although, I'm hotter than her.- you smile devilishly. - One houndred percent, baby. - he agreed. - They must have been really special to you. All of them. I saw the pictures. You'd take them with you to premieres and be by their sides, looking at them with proud. You'd post pictures or videos of them, and even if you're not longer together, you never deleted those things. That proved that they were special to you. I'm really jealous of them. - you admited - Not jealous because they were with you, like I said before, I know you have your past and that's ok, the important is that you're mine now. I'm jealous because I would have loved to be with someone that did those things for me. I'd had been great if my ex took me with him to an event or came with me to one of my premieres or award shows. Or took my hand in public. When I won my last two Oscars, he was there, but he didn't sat with me. I had to hug a friend to celebrate the fact that I won. You didn't get mad at them and ignored them for suggesting going out and getting caught by paparazzi. You would not tell them that you could spend time with them or have sex due to the lack of time and the hang out with your friends and former lovers instead. Why I could not have their luck once? Just once I'd love to know how it feels to be with someone who would proudly walk with me, go out with me or take me to places, happy to know that I'm by his side. Just one time I'd like to know who it feels not to be scared that your partner is going to be mad if someone for being seen together or acted as if he'd ashame and embarrased if people knew we're together, as if he could do so much better than you... just once I'd like to know how that feels. - you said and could not stop the tears. The tears covered your eyes and cheeks. The lump in your throat hurt badly. Henry grabbed your shoulders and pulled you closer, making you rest your head on his chest as he stroked your face and hair. He knew that you needed to let go of your tears in order to feel better. He promesed you would heal. He'd make sure that your future is bright and full of smiles instead of tears.

[toloveawarlord]

A Rambling about Obey Me and some of the discourse going around:

I’ve finally had a chance to sit down and think hard on the whole Lucifer didn’t listen to the MC say no in the newest event.

First of all, this post likely won’t be spoiler free so read at your own risk. I’m not going to censor myself for those who haven’t played up through Lesson 20 but most of the things I hit on is common knowledge anyways. 

Secondly, I do not condone what they implied that Lucifer did. Consent is important, that’s not the point of this post. I’m not saying it’s okay to do so. This is simply the context of the game and my own viewing of it from a writer’s standpoint.

I put it under a cut because this is a long post.

Okay, now that we have all the disclaimers and stuff out of the way, let’s move into my own thoughts.

Firstly, this was meant to be dream sequence. I know a lot of people gripe about it doesn’t matter that it was dream, but if it’s supposed to be mc’s dream, then likely this particular mc was probably meant to be paired with Lucifer, they just gave options for those who aren’t Luci stans to get more people to play. But was a dream, and likely meant to represent an mc that wants Lucifer.

Was it a good writing choice to add in a choice to say and then do it anyways? Probably not, because this kind of thing always gets backlash from the community (i.e. Arthur in Ikevamp). But they did it, and it wasn’t explicit, nor did it actually say that Lucifer actually went through with it, again, because it was a dream and it ended at that particular point. You can argue that it shouldn’t have been implied, but you can also argue that it didn’t happen because it was simply an implication. The point that is made though, is that Lucifer didn’t respond in a “Okay, I’ll stop” manner. As far as him being a character and a demon, that response would be really strange, to me. Is it right? No, no one should force themselves on anyone. Is it a normal response for a demon who is the avatar of pride and thinks humans are lowly creatures? Yeah, kind of.

Secondly, this game is dark as hell. A lot of people don’t want to see it that way, because it’s an otome game and otome’s are typically solely focused on the romance aspect. Obey Me is riddled with violence, sexual tones (i.e. Asmo outright tells MC that the bar they are at is has sex rooms and can even be bought out for an orgy, and he has participated in those), and the main boys are even avatars of sin. It’s not an otome with a sprinkle of angst and sadness for backstory and character development. It’s a dark and twisted world where you can romance demons.

Speaking of demons, that’s my next point. The boys are demons. They have been around for millenniums, and demons are not known to have morals and live by our human standards of what is right and wrong. (again, see above, I don’t believe what Luci was implied to do was right.) But honestly, you cannot expect demons to have the same moral code that us humans do. It wouldn’t make sense and to be honest, it’s part of the appeal of the game.

Part of the underlying themes and tones of this game is that romancing a demon is taboo. It’s not going to entail the same trials and character problems that other otome suitors deal with. These aren’t boys. These are demons, powerful demons with their owns sins and they also believe that they are above humans. So, being above humans, of course Lucifer doesn’t really care if you say or not. He’s a demon and he is used to getting his way. He’s also the avatar of pride so he can’t fathom why you wouldn’t choose to be with him. (Again. I do not think it’s right for Lucifer to force himself on anyone.) From a writing standpoint, that was a perfectly acceptable thing for Lucifer to say, because of who he is as a character and a species. (But that doesn’t make it okay. I never said it was okay. I said it was normal for him as a character. I do not condone forcing anyone.)

Was it necessary for the story? That’s a little more difficult to define. I understand that this can be triggering material for some, and you are perfectly valid to say you didn’t like it and it was wrong. I don’t personally think that they made a huge mistake and should be reprimanded for it. It’s a story with dark themes and violence so it’s reasonable to assume that things like this are going to occur. They are demons with a very skewed sense of morals. But I totally get that there are people out there who don’t like reading that kind of triggering content.

I think a good middle ground would be to add some kind of warning to events or chapters. I don’t know how they would implement something like that, but it might be a more peaceful solution instead of going to the creators and telling them that they are wrong to add that content. Because, let’s be honest, not everyone is bothered by that kind of thing and creators can’t always cater to everything that might be a trigger to someone. For some, that kind of content is wanted and there aren’t any otomes that I’m aware of that has the option to explore those darker kinks. (Please don’t bring up Princess of the Moon Ultimate. That game is not what I mean.)

Obey Me really teeters on the edge of being too adult for minors, but there is plenty of content in the games that are okay for a younger audience. No matter what anyone says, the younger kids are not going to stop playing just because a stranger on the internet told them to. It’s not going to happen, so really, it’s only stirring up drama. I will say that minors should stay away from explicitly adult content created by us adults, mostly because of legal reasons, but again, I don’t think it’s going to stop anyone from doing it if they want to. Just know, that as adults, it’s really uncomfortable to think of minors engaging in explicit content. You are still children, whether you think so or not, but you’re going to play the game regardless (I know because back in my day, I did too). I think the middle ground for this is for minors not to engage with adults in any explicit or sexual themed content or talk. That’s about the most we can ask. Telling them not to play the game isn’t solving anything. (Please don’t come at me with this drama. I don’t want to hear about why they shouldn’t play or why they should be allowed, I don’t care about it.)

This kind of rounds me up to a big final point. I got off track with the content thing but back to the demons and their morals.

This why Obey Me is such an interesting story to me. The point of the whole game (so far) is that YOU are the one controlling the demons with the pacts. It takes a while for Lucifer and Belphie, but in the end, you get a pact with all of them. This really eliminates a lot of the dangers with the brothers. They obey you now. So, in the main story game (after lesson 20), if that Lucifer scene had happened (remember, it’s a dream), if you had chosen the NO option, then he would have no choice but to listen to you. Because the pact allows you to control them (we see this time and time again with MC telling Mammon to do things or stop doing things).

Which opens up the opportunity for you as the mc to teach them. I know this isn’t a prominent part of the game (it’s still real early to tell what’s going to happen) but now that you have them under a pact, you have the opportunity to reign in their sins and teach them to be decent demons. And honestly, it’s really one of the only ways that they could have handled the demons and a human in a romantic relationship. There is no such thing as a morally righteous demon. That would be angels (hello simeon). It’s going to be very interesting to see how having a specific suitor under a pact will effectively even the playing fields in a romantic relationship.

Take Asmo for example, as the Avatar of Lust. Before the pact, the scales of power were completely in Asmo’s hands. As a human, you literally couldn’t do anything to stop him from doing anything (hence the fact that Belphie literally kills mc, and there has been very dangerous situations). He’s a demon with enormous powers and the mc is a lowly human. And honestly, with Asmo being a narcissist, he probably wouldn’t understand why you wouldn’t want him. He’s Asmodeus. He’s wanted by everyone.

BUT

With the power of the pact, the scales of power in the relationship tip into the MC’s favor. Will this stop them from trying? Not at all, but now MC has the power to make them stop. And that’s really the only way that a relationship could happen. The power difference is simply too great for a human to date a demon without that added layer of control in MC’s hands.

I know that this is an otome game, and it’s supposed to be about romancing them and all that, but the story is riddled with dark tones and themes and it will most likely have more triggering material. I think that’s something that everyone is going to have to accept in this game. It’s not a lighthearted romance with angst and sex. It’s definitely not as dark as like Diabolik Lovers, but like vampires, demons have a whole added layer of twisted and taboo subjects that are going to play a large role in the game.

And I think that’s part of the point. This game is not going to be like Cybird’s games. It’s not going to be like MLQC. Personally, I like the idea of a darker game with wiggle for more adult oriented themes and content that we miss out on in the other games (i.e. I would have loved to seen a part of Edgar’s route where Claudius orders him to kill MC and he struggles with doing it or not and maybe even harming her in the process of figuring it out. Because, Edgar is kind of brainwashed by Claudius and it tracks for his character. But its romance otome, so of course, they weren’t going to take it that far.). Exploring the darker sides of romance, allowing for more raw and twisted concepts.

All in all, if you want a happy go lucky, suitors with cute romance and just a bit of angst and sex, this is not the game for you.

I also don’t think that going after the creators and saying that they shouldn’t put out darker content and having Lucifer do what he did in that event was right. This game is going to have uncomfortable topics and ugly moments. They are demons and this is devildom (see also: hell). Warnings would be great, I think finding a balance is good, but the creators are making this content for a broad audience. Not everyone is going to be happy. You can either take it with a grain of salt, and continue playing. Or you can not play it because you don’t like some of the content. The content creators don’t owe us anything. The whole “well this is for a western audience” is mute. There is likely going to be other triggering content because of the nature of the game. You can’t expect a dark otome to not have that, just because it triggers you. Warnings, yes, I think that that would help, let people know what they might be getting into in an event or chapter, but catering to the needs to every single player of a game is not going to happen, and it could cause the game to be shut down. This game is more adult oriented so it’s going to have more adult content that might not sit right with you.

I’m gonna end this by saying: Obey Me is an amazing game, and it has quite dark content in places. That’s the whole point of the game. It’s not a standard romance otome and trying to change it to be one is not okay. That doesn’t mean that your feelings toward it aren’t valid. It simply means that we cannot expect the same content as other otome games when it involves darker content. I don’t really want a watered down version of this game where they ignore the dangers of demons for the sake of romance.

I am gonna repeat a few things: I do not condone Lucifer’s actions, that’s not what I’m about. No one should force themselves on you. And this is filled with my opinions, yours can differ, but I’m not looking for anyone to come tell me why I’m wrong. This is just a few points of why I personally think that the game is doing just fine and doesn’t need to change.

[curioussubjects]

come be a season 12 truther, baby, with me

In honor of tonight’s Berens/Glynn episode (!!!!), I’d like to take y’all on a magical journey in which I share why I think Dean and Cas got together in season 12. 

Keep in mind that this post takes for granted that Dean and Cas are in love with each other and that their relationship has been increasingly coded as romantic with each passing season. Consequently, what this post does is point out some key moments in their relationship and argue why they don't get together before 12. I'll also go briefly over 13 and 14 for reasons I'll explain later in the post. First, though, let me go over seasons 4 through 11, with some pit stops along the way:

Seasons 4 & 5: this isn’t the destiel you are looking for. the ust is delicious, yes, and i, too, got sucked in posthaste immediately groped by an angel lj community style. At this point Cas is still too alien for anything beyond the development we see on screen happen. HOWEVER, season 5 is the first time we get to see Cas being human (The End) and Cas being less connected to heaven and how that affects his behavior. This will matter. 

Seasons 6 & 7: the pining omg the pining. The notable things I want to point out with these seasons is a. this is the beginning of Cas doing things to spare Dean and it not ending well (Cas dies #1, soulless!Sam); b. Dean is v. sad; and c. we also start noticing the emotional toll of Cas’s divided loyalties and how human he has actually become since s4. Hurty feels all around.  

Season 8: purgaytory babes aw yeah! Still lots of terrible awful pining. This is a turning point with the addition of the bunker as tfw hq: we have a home in play now, a static emotional center. Cas is still off doing his own thing, Dean still wishes Cas would just let him (+ Sam) help out. Cas going off on his own leads to disaster #2 (Angels fall, Cas loses his Grace). For all deliciously angsty get together purgatory fics and spec, there’s too much of a gap between Dean and Cas on Cas’s part due to his guilt over betraying the Winchesters in s6 & slaughtering angels & leviathan. On the other hand, we do see Dean being more emotionally open, but to no avail. Bad timing. This is a trend. [oop also worth noting we get Dean being kinda done with the one night stand thing because always with the adios and ahem also hint hint Cas refusing to stay put]

Seasons 9 & 10: aka Dean and Cas make bad decisions, but mostly Dean. The biggest turning point here is Cas being human for an extended period of time. There is still plenty of spec over the effects of being human on Cas’s Grace and his Soul. What we can say for sure, though, is that Cas is much more human once he becomes an angel again. In contrast to s8, s9 sees Cas being vulnerable and Dean pushing him away (first because of Gadreel, which he didn’t want to do really and that’s even sadder kdjfgksdfj & later because he was pushing everyone away due to the mark).  

9.06 Heaven Can’t Wait: there’s been so much amazing fic and spec about this episode with its fanfiction gap, but I can’t see a deancas get together here, folks. I know, it’s terrible. The lying from Dean and the hurt from Cas, imo, make the distance between them quite insurmountable at this point. While the episode is amazing (Bobo’s debut, too! So ♥) and has some notorious subtext throughout, I just can’t see the character bridging that gap into anything physical, much less emotional. Nevertheless, this episode does show perhaps the first intentional romantic tableaux with Dean and Cas, and that’s not nothing. 

10.16 Paint it Black: from the point Dean gets the mark of cain until the end of season 10, anything between him and Cas is quite impossible. But one of the reasons I’m bringing up this episode in particular is because of the confession scene. For one, it’s a rare bit of emotional honesty from Dean and for two, it tells me that while he and Cas may be well aware of the thing between them, it’s still uncharted waters. Makes sense, too, there’s been A LOT going on since s6.  Anyway, he’s the full confession, so we can put a pin on it:

You know, the life I live, the work I do…I pretty much just figured that that was all there was to me, you know? Tear around and jam the key in the ignition and haul ass until I ran out of gas. I guess I just thought sooner or later, I’d go out the same way that I live – pedal to the metal, and that would be it. [...]  Now, um… recent events, uh… make me think I might be closer to that than I really thought. And…I don’t know. I mean, you know, there’s – there’s things, there’s…people, feelings that I-I-I want to experience differently than I have before, or maybe even for the first time. [...]  Yeah, I’m just starting to think that… maybe there’s more to it all than I thought.

Do you ever see a character having an epiphany and find yourself wanting to cry because this is it right here. Dean is just blatantly admitting he wants more, which all culminates in season 11, so...

Season 11: The pining is still here, but it’s worse now since it’s the whole plot? It’s been *checks calendar* 5 years of this. How are any of us still kicking I don’t know. Your slow burns could never. Cool worth noting points: Cas says yes to Luci (bad decision #2.5, lots of mitigating effects_I don’t actually hold it against him that much but Dean is another story & not entirely rational at this point); for the first time since the early days, Dean and Cas are on equal grounds: they’ve both fucked up a lot and have hurt each other. The issues this season are outside their dynamic. Amara and Lucifer here serve as externalizing forces for Dean and Cas’s problems and by the end of the season we’re getting a clean slate. We’re also getting a new showrunner, so. No wonder. What this season does that is also super important is that it sets up the stage for the possibility of an actual relationship between Dean and Cas, something that has, up until this point, been pretty much impossible. 

11.04 Baby: Y’all know what I’m about to quote here, right? The convo between Dean and Sam about having something with someone who understands the life. Here we still have Dean reverting to the idea that it’s impossible, which is a direct contrast to the openness in 10.16. It’s understandable, though, considering there’s been little reason to think anything like that would be possible (see all the mess and poor timing from seasons past). The quote in question, though, marks a continuing development in on of the things Dean is struggling with this season:

DEAN: Piper? That's awesome. Heather. One-night wonders, man. Shoot, we're lucky we still get that at all.  SAM: Really? You don't . . . Ever want something more? DEAN: I'm sorry, have you met us? We're batting a whopping zero in domestic life, man. Goose eggs. SAM: You don't ever think about something? Not marriage or whatever. But . . . Something? You know, with a hunter? Somebody who understands the life?

Compare this exchange with what we get from 11.11 and 11.19:

11.11 Into the Mystic: I’m bringing this episode as a crossreference to 10.16 and to show again that for all the closeness between Dean and Cas there’s still a marked distance they haven’t yet bridged. Thanks Mildred for the delicious exposition:

Darlin'...If there's one thing I've learned in all my years on the road, it's when somebody's pining for somebody else. [...]  Oh, don't try and hide it now. Follow your heart. Remember?

11.19 The Chitters: Continuing our trek regarding Dean wanting certain things we have this gift of an episode with Jesse and Cesar, and this exchange:

Dean: [with realization] Oh, so … [points back and forth to Jesse and Cesar] Cesar: Yeah. Dean: Okay, that’s… Cesar puts his beer bottle on the table and looks at Dean, while Jesse is being silent. Dean: What’s it like, settling down with a hunter? Cesar: Smelly, dirty. [turns to Jesse] Twice the worrying about getting ganked.

I’d like to point out, too that the fear of getting ganked is thematic when it comes to the tension between Dean and Cas. More on this when we hit s13. 

Alright, now having said that, let’s take a look at season 12. Bear in mind, this is the official start of Dabb’s era, even if he kinda began taking over in 11, and the change in vibes is obvious. In fact, 12 jumped out at me as a turning point in retrospect, after getting smacked by the domesticity of 13 and 14. Under the cut because I can’t shut up, and things are long enough as is. 

Season 12:  Finally, the promise land, y’all. So, what s11 was for Dean in terms of setting up the relationship stage, s12 was for Cas. In its initial beats, any way. Important to keep in mind that until the Kelly debacle, this was the longest Cas has been around the bunker. Things seem remarkably chill. Of course, we’ll notice that there’s still a lot of baggage hanging around because despite Dean and Cas being in a more stable place, they haven’t actually dealt with their interpersonal problems. I didn’t single out directly this episode, but do keep in mind Cas’s declaration in 12.09 First Blood as far as how much the Winchesters matter to Cas & how we also see Dean and Cas be particularly singled out with them seating together in the backseat of the Impala. 

12.10 Lily Sunder Has Some Regrets: This episode, oh my god, the goodness. In the wake of 12.09 we have Dean and Cas in a tiff because Cas mistake #3 (killing Billie and “cosmic consequences”), this is a pattern. Twice the worry of getting ganked, etc etc. But where this episode really shines is through the contrast between Ishim’s obsession with Lily and Cas & Dean’s mutual affection for each other. Ishim sees no difference here and, to him, Cas’s feelings for Dean are a human weakness. Returning to my point about human!Cas, this episode underscores that Cas’s increasing humanity is what puts him in the place where he can want what Dean wants instead of either being too alien to get it (see s4 & 5) or unable to experience it properly (Ishim). 

12.12 Stuck in the Middle (With You): Cas’s trajectory culminates here with the whole I love you (@ Dean), I love all of you (@ Winchesters). Let’s note too that Cas is dying here, in a way that is much more human than going up in light. This declaration of different types of love is entirely human. It’s also a definitive step wrt to Cas and Dean’s relationship because of what happens in 12.19. This. is. it.

Offscreen happenings: Mixtape, how Cas knows the Colt is under Dean’s pillow. This is hella suspicious. 

12.19 The Future: This episode changes everything, y’all (bobo and meredith, folks, bobo and meredith ksjdhfakjshlfksd). Consider watching this episode again and pay attention to some weird things: 1. Dean’s reaction to Cas going awol. Compare it to Sam’s, who is like whoa Dean chill. Now, thought experiment, imagine something happened between Dean and Cas, and then just radio silence from Cas. Imagine how Dean would react with getting ghosted by Cas specifically after something happened between them.  2. Cas comes back to the bunker with the specific goal of stealing the Colt, which he already knew was under Dean’s pillow -- something Sam didn’t even know.  3. “He came into my room and he played me.” So, this quote right there, makes it seem like some seduction for personal gain, right? But Cas clearly knew where the Colt was already, which means something happened before  Cas came back to the bunker. Cas played Dean in seeming to have reconsidered not working with Sam and Dean wrt Kelly. This is still a point of drama, but it leads somewhere else (see s13 & s15). 4. WHEN DID DEAN GIVE CAS THAT MIXTAPE OMG 5. Dean and Cas’s brief convo in Dean’s room is clearly Dean just wanting Cas to stay, so they can work (and be) together -- because they’re better that way. Which, yeah, truth. 

Sequence of events: Cas tells Dean he loves him -- Dean is clearly shook by it -- Dean gives Cas a mixtape (romantic gesture, often a declaration of feelings; in true Dean speak too lolsobs) -- Cas somehow knows the Colt is under Dean’s pillow -- ???? -- Cas goes awol -- Dean acts like he got ghosted by his partner.

Like. Y’all realize they probably had some emotionally constipated getting together moment, right? Something that Dean clearly initially thought meant things were gonna change, now. Something that Cas couldn’t allow to happen until he could give Dean a win. Y’all are seeing this, yeah? I’m not saying they slept together and were full of feelings, except that’s kind of what I’m saying. But ymmv, there are other possibilities beyond sex. The full of feelings isn’t up for debate, though, even if the whole thing is informed by ridiculous amounts of miscommunication. 

Ok, maybe the narrative is still too subtle (?????), but as I said before, looking at 12 with the knowledge of 13 and 14 does offer a new perspective because of the difference in dynamic between Dean and Cas. I know lots of people look at 14, mainly, as having dialed back on the destiel side of things, but I always thought that was a strange take. Largely because they’re so domestic and their dynamic, ie, the lack of tension, reads like an established relationship. It’s a different kind of beast than we have been used to so far, so it does look alien on screen, especially since we “skipped” the conventional getting together cue that would let us change gears. Let’s take a look at 13 and 14, then.

Season 13: Ah, yes, the season of shit gets domestic. The pining? Gone? What? Deancas now reading like an established couple? It’s more likely than you think.

13.1-13.5: Dean’s grief mini-arc. Dude’s acting like a widower. We all know this. I want to gesture towards the reunion moment though with “it’s never too late to start all over again.” To. Start. All. Over. Again. I’m just saying. 

13.6 Tombstone: hi this episode is pure love and Dean is so happy his sweetheart is back from the dead? He’s even ok being Jack’s third dad now? What a time to be alive. Also? apparently Dean and Cas were just having movie night together? Dates? Mutual Pining dates prior to shit going to hell in 12? Do you ever cry? What else are they getting up to offscreen? What else will they get up to off screen? MUCH TO THINK ABOUT. 

Season 14: MORE DOMESTICITY. With some pining because Michael. But...heart eyes when Dean comes back? Watch that scene again with Dean going off to shower. Suspicious. But then shit hits the fan and we’re all sad again. boo. 

14.15 Peace of Mind: Look me in the eye and tell me Dean and Cas talking in the kitchen about Jack doesn’t read like husbands talking about their child. Look me in the eye and tell me Cas just texting Dean to gossip about Sam isn’t coupley asf. 

14.18-14.20: Ah, yes, the divorce arc. Awful. Terrible. The culmination of Dean’s problem in all this: he lashes out, he pushes Cas away, his anger is alienating. Cue all of us suffering. But while Dean is clearly in the wrong in how the deals with his feelings, let’s not pretend some of his anger doesn’t come from a long established issue between him and Cas, which had its last traumatic turn when Cas died in s12. Dean isn’t being rational here; he saw Cas doing something on his own, and he saw that his mother is dead. What else could happen? Why won’t Cas just trust they can work as a team? Divorce arc was entirely too literal. 

But what about what we’re building up in 15? That seems like it could be a getting together plot, too, right? Well, yeah. It could very well be. But I’d argue the tension we’re seeing isn’t a will they or won’t they because they already have. The tension is instead will they or won’t they use their words to talk about the baggage that has kept them from truly being confident about their relationship. There’s a crucial step in their togetherness that they’re still missing, which is also the bedrock of the divorce arc that spanned TWELVE FRIGGIN’ EPISODES. Y’all. Y’all that’s half a season. And we’re not even entirely done with it yet because Dean was cut short in purgatory, and they haven’t dealt with Cas’s side of blame in this mess yet either -- that Cas keeps going off on his own and getting hurt (and getting other people hurt), and Dean has to deal with the fallout. The deep emotional understanding, the truly being on the same page is what we’re on the edge of our seats for. And, you know, that’s a whole lot more exciting than witnessing their for realsies first kiss. I’m also confident Dabb & co will deliver the conclusion to this emotional arc and it will be a whole mess of feelings on all our parts. 

For the moment, though, it’s looking a lot like Dean and Cas had a rocky start to their ~involvement, then DEATH, then they got together feat. sweet sweet domestic fluff, then DIVORCE. So, yeah. Season 12, guys; it’s where it’s at. 

As for the more performative aspect of Dean and Cas’s relationship…that’s a whole other thing and all I can say is they got the green light for something, but I don’t know what it is and it’s driving me bananas, but it’s definitely something and we can talk about that, too. Place your bets, etc.  I’m clowning on the “I love you” pay off because it’s a glaring missing piece in this whole story. See also: holding hands? Carving Cas’s initials on the table? Saileen endgame parallels? All supported by the narrative. Like a lot. So. *finger guns*

[starshineandbooks]

Of ghosts and sons

Based almost entirley off of @lovelylogans‘s Gilmore girls AU - AO3 Tumblr

Read THIS on Ao3

Summary: Remus reflects back on his thoughts of his still living loved ones’ lives. Watching his teenager grow into a married man with a kid. 

        Also known as: An excuse to write soft dad! Remus and Son! Roman, and explore how a dead Remus feels about his son marrying an academically smart moron.

Word count: 2596

Pairing: Romantic Moxiety, Romantic Logince, familial lampr

Warnings: Dead character (Remus is a ghost kinda?), mild cursing, a few suggestive lines, Remus being Remus, weird food, sympathtic! Remus

Remus figured he achieved a pretty great death. Oh, sure, he misses things, but now he can float around behind people and be himself with free of judgement, which is, nice. Oddly nice. Don’t get him wrong, he’d had friends, ut, even Virgil and Isidora had been a little weirded out every once in a while.

And, he’s watched Virgil and Isidora, of course he did. They mattered to him. 

Remus is proud of Virgil, finding a good guy, even if he wasn’t a guy Remus would have chosen, to settle down with. Virgil and Patton, Remus think they’re a good match. He’d have loved to make Patton squirm though. Nothing personal, he liked to make everyone squirm. It was fun!

Patton is also fairly interesting, at first Remus just watched him after earth because he was a scandal. Patton, trans, sixteen year old run away, with a baby. Pretty interesting.

Then, Remus got invested. Oops.

Patton was kind, and  a good person. Remus could respect him. Remus isn't so sure that he and Patton would have been friends, but Remus had to admit, Patton was respectable.

Patton Sanders, the kid stood up for himself and his child. Patton befriended Virgil, which is hard enough, then made Virgil love him, which is even harder. Then Virgil fell for Patton romantically, which is a task to make happen. 

Patton raised a smart, ambitious kid. Logan. Remus is fond of Logan, but don’t tell anyone. Of course, Logan is also basically Virgil’s kid, which basically makes Remus Logan’s roundabout uncle in a weird way. 

Logan is smart, wickedly so in fact. The kid goes to Chilton, and is very ambitious. In a cutthroat manner almost. Yet, Logan is genuinely kind, and cares for Remus’ own child.

That’s another thing. Remus has a kid. A biological child he never met.

Isidora had been someone Remus genuinely loved. Not romantically, but he had loved her more than anything else, except maybe Virgil. But that was a different kind of love. 

Isidora, the five foot two latina had been a spitfire of a dancer when Remus knew her. Not much had changed, except, she had Roman not long after Remus died.

And Virgil, bless the man, had fought to be in Roman’s life.

Roman was a lot like his mom, loyal, kind, courageous. Roman was taller than his mother, but just as graceful.

Roman, Remus’ baby, shut up that’s Remus’ baby. His spawn. He’s allowed to be a little sappy.

Roman had grown from an over excited six year old kissing his best-friend-and-first-crush’s skinned knee better into a kind, loyal, selfless teenager who’s a dancer just like his mother.

Remus isn’t stupid. Crazy, inconsiderate, and crass? Sure. But Remus is not and has never been stupid.

He knows that Roman probably is better off for not having him around.

Remus is loud, disruptive, rude, disgusting, and generally the opposite of what is ‘socially acceptable’. Remus even revels in this fact.

But, It’s not always an easy life to lead. And Remus does want Roman to have an easy life where he knows how good he is.

But, on the other hand, he watched Roman struggle with a dad sized cut out hole in his life.

Remus had become something of a myth in Sideshire. Remus, the horror story author recluse, Isidora Prince’s best friend, Roman’s dad, died in a mysterious car crash.

No one really tells Roman much about Remus. So, Roman had a bit of doubt, which is natural.

And Remus is so incredibly proud of Roman. For everything.

Roman had graduated highschool with a solid three point four grade point average. The kid had started college on time and was happy. Roman worked as a dance instructor in the town he attends college in, teaching kids to dance. 

Roman ended up with a supportive boyfriend, Logan. And the two are a good couple, built off of friendship, love, trust, and respect. The stuff of fairytales, even if they do argue a little more than they’d admit.

Remus has learned he can in fact visit dreams, and talk to people that way, he’s had some conversations with Virgil and Isidora that way.

But, Remus thinks it might be time to visit his son. Especially since Virgil and Patton are finally engaged and Roman is thinking about proposing to Logan.

So, that’s how Remus finds himself sitting in Lucy’s diner opposite of his son and his son’s boyfriend. Apparently this is a shared dream between the couple. Works just as well, Remus supposes.

After all, Remus is fairly fond of Logan too.

“Excuse me,” Logan says looking up from his book and where his head had been resting on Roman’s shoulder, “Do we know you? You look very familiar, I regret to say I can not place you however.”

Remus grins wickedly, “You wouldn't I’m a ghost! My corpse is rotting six feet under you twerp!”

Roman looks up, startled, “D-dad?”

Logan tilts his head, “Oh, that makes more sense. Hello Remus. Virgil speaks fondly of you.”

“Dad,” Roman whispers again, grabbing Logan’s arm, “Logan, that’s my dad.”

“I know, I can see dear.” Logan says in an exasperated yet fond voice.

“Hello Roman, you really do have a lot of your mother in you. Izzydory, how is she?”

“Izzy- Mama’s okay, she- she misses you. I miss you- uh- Can I miss you? I never met you.”

“You can miss the idea of someone,” Logan chimes, “And you know very well what Virgil would say about dismissing feelings.”

“Yeah,” Roman nods, “I do.”

Remus hums, turning to Lucy when she comes to take his order, “Can I get a bacon shake with Sardines and coffee grounds?”

Lucy just nods and walks off.

“That’s-” Roman chokes, “That’s gross dad.”

Remus laughs delightedly, “That’s the point!”

“He does things for amusement, not because it is logical.”

“There’s no rhyme or reason to what I do kid, I just do a skiddly boo.” Remus smiles, “So, what’s life like for you in the Bronx kid?”

Roman just stares blankly at his father, “This can't be real, I’ve gotta be dreaming, Lo, darling, I’m dreaming right?”

Logan just sighs, “I had assumed I was, I don’t know Roman, one of us is for sure.”

“You both are, it’s a shared dream,” Remus nods sagely, “You guys could get up to some steamy things since you can share dreams-”

“And as Virgil would say, stop it, fam.” Logan drawls unsure, then signs, shaking his head, “Also, what in the world is that supposed to mean?”

“Oh, I just meant you two could use the dreams to have dream sex-”

“Please stop,” Logan groans, putting his face in his hands and making a distressed sound, “Why are you like this? That is your son.”

“I know!” Remus cheers, “So, Roman, any questions?”

Roman stares at Remus, “I- I had so many, but- I can’t remember them now.”

Logan turns and whispers something to Roman.

Roman nods, “That’s right, thanks specs!”

“What’s right kid?” Remus asks.

“Oh, I’ve just always wondered, am I- Am I doing the right thing? I mean, if you’re really Remus, you’ve not seen me my whole life, like, yeah i”m your kid but, I’m not raised by you. Did- Did I do okay? Have I made you proud at least?”

Logan looks rather upset from the question, Remus notes. If the dead man had to guess, he’d say it’s because Logan doesn't like that Roman doubts himself.

And Remus doesn't like it either.

No, he is not being sentimental, shut the hell your mouth.

Remus tilts his head, “I’ve been watching you Roman. You to Logan, but Ro, kid, mijo, you’ve done well.”

Roman’s face is almost comical to Remus, wide eyes, mouth quirked up, eyebrows drawn up. A twinge of relief in the breath Roman lets out. Remus thinks he looks like an overly excited puppy. But that’s Remus’ over excited puppy.

Logan smiles gently, hidden almost. Remus does think it’s interesting how similar Logan is to Virgil.

“Really?” Roman breathes out, sounding even more like an overly excited puppy.

“I very much doubt him to be lying Roman, your mother has never put up with liars before, I doubt she would have in the father of her child.” Logan says simply, well, simply for the eighteen year old genius.

“Really, kid. You graduated with a good GPA, you got out of Sideshire, you’re a dancer just like your mother, you’re brave, and just, and kind, but don’t tell anyone I said any of this sappyniess. And kid, Roman, you’re doing good.”

“Thank you,” Roman says softly.

“You should not thank him Ro,” Logan scoffs, “He said the truth, it’s not like he offered to walk you down the aisle at your wedding.”

“Our wedding,” Roman says quickly, “My wedding will be ours.”

Logan blinks, flushing steadily, “Uh-”

“Hopefully!” Roman chimes, “I mean to hopefully!”

“God you’re obnoxiously cute, you know that?” Remus rolls hie eyes, “I’m sure you’ll both be married forever to each other and have some sappy loving relationship.”

“Thanks? I think.” Logan sighs, shaking his head.

“Hey, dad?” Roman starts, “Uh, got any life advice?”

“Save time by putting toothpaste in your food, use bottle caps as orange holders, get a toilet seat and use it to put your plate on when you eat! And, don’t try to fight with Izzy unless whatever you're fighting about really matters, because she is a stubborn woman and you’ll be tired by the end of the argument, and probably have lost.”

“Uh-”

“The bit about your mom sounds accurate, but she’s nice and might listen?” Logan sighs, shaking his head.

“How do you use a toilet seat- never mind I don’t want to know.”

Lucy comes back, setting Remus’ abomination of a milk shake down.

Remus thanks her, turning his head to look at Roman.

“God, you really got your mama’s pretty, you know that? I mean, you look like me some, but god.”

“I- You thought mama was pretty?” Roman blinks, “I’d always thought you were gay, they always said-”

“Kid, I’m gay, not blind.” Remus chuckles, “But yeah, your mom’s pretty kid.”

“Yeah,” Roman sighs, she is.”

“You’re about to wake up because of an alarm you set because you, my friend, have an early shift today. I’m proud of you kid, you’re doing good. I’ll talk to you again, later. Okay?”

“Dad?” Roman blinks, “Are you really here?”

“I’m dead, but yeah, I’m here.”

“Thanks dad.”

“I love you kid,” Remus sighs, “Good luck on your test tomorrow!”

Roman blinks startled but fades from the dream, leaving just Logan.

Logan looks at Remus and snorts darkly, “This isn't at all awkward, you know, my boyfriend’s dead dad in Lucy’s diner. Not to mention that you’re Virgil’s best friend.”

“Yeah, probably word that I’m your uncle and your boyfriend’s dad,” Remus snorts, “But I like weird.”

“Uh, uncle?!”

“Yeah, you’re basically Virgil’s kid, meaning that since I’m basically his brother, that I’m basically your uncle!” Remus cackles, “I thought you were the smart one!”

“It depends on the kind of intelligence,” Logan sighs, “I’ll admit I lack some of the more, say, social knowledge. But, I have dad and Roman at least.”

“Yeah, well, you're a good kid to Logan.”

“Thanks.”

“Be good to my baby Logan,” Remus says darkly, “Be good to my baby or I’ll figure out how to ruin your entire life.”

Logan looks up to Remus, “If I were to be bad to Roman, I’d have ruined my life myself. Because, he is my everything, as stupid and sappy as that sounds.”

Remus nods, “Good. You’ll make it through you know you two will make it out together.”

“Good.” Logan hums, tilting his head, “You're an asshole though. You really hurt a lot of the people we both care for.”

“Ballsy,” Remus smirks, “Calling the dead father of your boyfriend that. I knew I liked you!”

“Very few people seem to,” Logan shrugs, “But the whole dying and destroying Ms. Prince and Virgil and leaving Roman to be in the dark is really my only complaint against you.”

“Y’know, I did regret not being able to be there for them, but Roman especially. He’s my baby Logan, I know you don’t have kids, but, there’s just something about them.”

“So I’ve been told.”

“Yeah, well, I should go.”

“Probably so. And Remus?”

“Yeah?”

“If you really can talk to people through dreams, don’t leave Roman alone, he’d like you to talk to him. And, maybe talk to Virgil and Ms.Prince some too.”

“Of course. Later dork. Dork means- You’re gone.”

Remus shakes his head as the dream dissolves around him, a bitter laugh leaving him.

Remus made sure to speak to his loved ones every so often, the first time he visited Isidora after Logan had told him too it had been ten years and she had cried a little when she woke up.

Virgil had insulted Remus the whole dream that Remus had visited the emo music loving man.

Remus watches Virgil and Patton’s wedding, glad to watch the entire thing and see his best friend happy. Remus notices that Roman is the best man for Virgil, but only because Logan was Patton’s best man. The younger couple gave a nice speech that called attention to the fact that this wedding has been a long time in the works.

Virgil and Patton’s first dance is sweet and too sappy for Remus’ taste but okay.

Remus nearly screams when Roman and Logan get engaged, because, like the dorks they are, they propose at the same time.

Logan and Roman got reneged on their fifth anniversary, in the gazebo, under the stars. Remus had proposed first, because this was his plan. But Roman pulled out his own ring and asked Logan.

Because the two are entirely too cute.

Remus gloated to them next time he spoke to them both, he called it after all.

Roman and Logan’s wedding is a year and a half later, over the summer between their junior and senior years in college. 

It’s a bigger affair than Virgil and Patton’s had been, but not the largest wedding.

The whole town came, along with Logan’s grandparents, and a few friends from the boys’ own colleges.

Roman and Logan had stared at each other sappily the whole vow giving, making stupid cow eyes.

But, Remus creamed the loudest cheer out of anyone at that wedding when the two kissed and sealed the deal. He caught Isidora and Virgil looking around, then sharing a glance and a bitter laugh, a mutter of Remus’ name.

Roman and Logan’s first dance, per Roman’s selection, was a stupidly sappy song, for a pair of stupidly sappy new husbands. Husbands, God, Roman was married now. To his highschool sweetheart no less, his small town highschool sweetheart.

Remus would say something arguably rude about the whole sappy ordeal, if it wasn’t Roman’s wedding.

A few years down the line, after Logan and Roman graduate, they buy a house in Sideshire, adopting a kid. And oh, Remus has a grandchild now.

Virgil and Patton went to family dinners on Fridays with Emilie and Richard Sanders, Logan and Roman going as well. And somehow, Remus is glad that his saps have each other.

As much as Remus misses his friends and his family, as much as he wishes he could be there for them in the flesh, he’s proud of them no matter what. Even if they are stupidly sappy.

But, Remus looks forward to reuniting with Isidora and Virgil, and officially meeting the rest. One day, but hopefully, not soon.

[jgroffdaily]

[This article appears in the September 16, 2019, issue of New York Magazine.]

Within minutes of my meeting Jonathan Groff, he asks if I would like a slice of cherry pie, and then, only a short time later, if I would like to be eaten by a giant plant. The first I readily accept because Groff and the rest of the cast of Little Shop of Horrors have thoroughly analyzed the desserts they picked up for a bus ride down from New York to the suburban Philadelphia puppet studio where they’re rehearsing for the day, and they’ve all concluded it’s the best option. The idea of being eaten by a plant seems a little less palatable, considering the contortions involved in entering the hippopotamus-esque maw of the man-eating Audrey II, which is operated by several puppeteers, and because I’m not sure if Groff is making a serious offer. I learn quickly that he is always offering you things, and those offers are always serious.

The puppet in question represents the largest form of Audrey II, a sassy carnivorous horticultural oddity that convinces Seymour, an awkward flower-shop assistant, to commit murder in the pursuit of fame, fortune, and a suburban life with the original Audrey, a human who works with him. The day I visit, Groff, playing the misfit Seymour (despite good looks that actor Christian Borle, who plays the maniacal dentist, Orin, describes as “scrumptious”), and his castmates are climbing inside Audrey II one by one, figuring out how each of them will die. Wearing a hat from Beyoncé and Jay-Z’s “On the Run II” tour, Groff jumps inside wielding a floppy machete, which is so un-aerodynamic it keeps getting stuck in Audrey II’s lips. Groff suggests a real machete prop would be sturdier, and they try substituting an umbrella, which flies out more cleanly. Michael Mayer, the director, says with satisfaction, “It’s a belch!”

Staging this revival of Little Shop is “illegal fun,” as Groff puts it. The original ran from 1982 to 1987 but never transferred to Broadway, at the insistence of writer-lyricist Howard Ashman, who wanted to preserve the show’s off-kilter spirit in a smaller space. Ashman and composer Alan Menken would go on to fill the Disney Renaissance — which consisted of films like The Little Mermaid and Beauty and the Beast — with the Marie’s Crisis–ready melodies and queer subversions you can already hear in Little Shop (Ashman died of aids-related complications in 1991). Despite a Broadway staging that kicked off in 2003, this version is staying put at the Westside Theatre Off Broadway in hopes of preserving the quirky spirit of the original. There’s a lot of laughter in rehearsal as well as dress codes like a “kimono Wednesday,” which Mayer enforces by handing me a spare kimono when I drop in that day.

I can’t imagine anyone who is consistently involved in or adjacent to homicide having a better time. In addition to playing a murderously nice guy in Little Shop, Groff stars in Netflix’s David Fincher–produced drama Mindhunter, playing an FBI agent who interviews serial killers; the show is based on the real work of John Douglas, who was one of the first criminal profilers. Considering he’s no big fan of true crime, Groff is somewhat confused about how he became a poster boy for gore and mutilation, though he’s enjoying the texts from friends who point out that even when he does musical comedy, there’s a dark edge involved. A few days after we meet in Philadelphia, we’re talking over breakfast at the cozy Grey Dog in Chelsea, where he insists on paying for everything, picking up all the water and utensils, and getting up from the table to refill my coffee cup when it’s empty.

Groff signed up to star in Little Shop this spring after careful consideration, by which I mean he got the offer and then listened to the original cast recording on repeat for a whole weekend. He’d never played Seymour before, unlike the majority of white male theater actors, but he had positive memories of seeing the first performance of the 2003 Broadway version just after high school, when he was rehearsing the role of Rolf in a non-Equity tour of The Sound of Music. “I wanted to make sure that I’m bleeding for it eight times a week,” he says, which is his measure for doing musicals; he wants to make sure he won’t get bored with the material. Even now, when I assume he might want a break from it during rehearsals, Groff still has the album on repeat. “I never went to college, and I’m not educated, really, so I couldn’t say, like, intellectually why that is,” he says. “When I listened to it, it shot through my heart.”

There’s a clue, however, in the way he remembers obsessing over the film version of the show as a seventh-grader, standing in his kitchen with the song “Skid Row” on repeat — specifically when Seymour sings, “Someone show me a way to get outta here.” It was an appealing message to a closeted kid whom Groff describes as just “a sweaty, uncomfortable person with a secret that was so deep-rooted I wasn’t even flirting with the idea of being myself.” With a little distance from that version of himself (the child of a phys-ed teacher and a horse trainer, growing up in Lancaster, Pennsylvania, and occasionally having to clean stables on the weekends), Groff recalls the kinds of tells that seem obvious in retrospect, like, say, listening to “Skid Row” on repeat. Or developing an obsession with I Love Lucy, which he still watches before going to bed. Or dancing along to the Donna Reed’s Dinner Party album when his parents weren’t home. There’s a similar longing in Little Shop, which has the queerest kind of perspective on its central couple, as Audrey and Seymour imagine an unreachable, heteronormative life away from skid row and where she looks “like Donna Reed.”

If there’s a murderous kinship between Little Shop and Mindhunter, it extends to the shows’ shared skepticism about that white-picket-fence-style normalcy. Holden, Groff’s profiler character, is a cardboard cutout of a man with a girlfriend who introduces him to 1970s-style sexual liberation, but he is ultimately more fascinated with the deviancy of the killers he’s interviewing. To play him, Groff shuts down his charisma, amassing such emptiness between his angular jaw and his eyebrows that you wonder if he’ll slip into deviancy himself. It’s a performance of square, even sinister straightness that feels close to the best-little-boy performances of closeted queer men, though what seems to thrill Holden most in the show are his interviews with killers. “Sexuality is so complicated, and the people I’ve ended up working with who have cast me in straight parts are interested in looking at things in a complicated way,” Groff says, noting that he feels the argument about whether gay actors can play straight, or vice versa, has gotten “sillier” as time goes on. “Being out and gay and being myself, it allowed me to find people that weren’t closed-minded.”

Groff came out when he was 23, without directly consulting his agent, after he’d become an idol to the nation’s theater teens of Facebook by starring as the sexy, rebellious, tousle-haired Melchior in Spring Awakening. “I was so compartmentalized,” he says, “singing about sex but then not talking about it.” He remains thankful for the way Mayer, who also directed that show, choreographed the explicit sex between himself and Lea Michele’s Wendla clinically, without asking them about their own experiences. He hadn’t spent too much time worrying about the aftereffects of coming out on his career, which were more limiting in 2009 than they are now. “I did think I might not be seen as a romantic lead, but ultimately I was okay with that,” he says, explaining that he was in love at the time and didn’t want to hide it. “At 23, I’d rather just have a real romantic relationship than pretend to have one with a girl.”

Several years after coming out, Groff booked a leading role in HBO’s Looking, a comedy-drama about gay men in San Francisco, which he calls one of the most fulfilling roles he’s had. The series ran for two seasons and got a wrap-up movie but never quite found a viewership, even among queer audiences, instead receiving, as he puts it, “a total mixed bag of very extreme reactions.” Some of that was because people just didn’t like the show — which was often slower, more interior, and whiter and fitter than people may have wanted — and some of it was because it was “carrying a lot of weight; there wasn’t a lot of specifically gay content on a major cable network.” To Groff, making the show opened him up to the possibility of using material from his own experience in his work. Among the cast and crew, “we would talk about stories about PrEP and uncut dicks and monogamy,” he recalls, among “so many stories about anal douching,” and those anecdotes would make their way into the scripts. He was used to a sort of “closeted training of the mind” to abstract himself from his own experience. Looking taught him he could use it.

Recently, Groff has developed an ability to end up near the center of cultural sensations. He stepped in for Brian d’Arcy James as Hamilton’s fey Britpop version of King George III midway through the show’s Off Broadway run. It was a somewhat ideal gig, given that he was onstage for only about nine minutes a night, performed crowd-pleasing kiss-off songs, met Beyoncé, earned a Tony nomination, and got a lot of reading done backstage. This fall, he’s in Disney’s sequel to Frozen, where he returns to play Princess Anna’s rugged (at a Disney-appropriate level) love interest, Kristoff. In the first movie, while Idina Menzel’s Elsa got the vocal-cord shattering “Let It Go,” Groff sang only a few lines of melody between Kristoff and his reindeer, Sven. This time around, he’s putting his Broadway training to use with a full-length solo. It’s the second one he recorded for the movie, since the writers had one idea for a Kristoff piece (“a jam”) but then canned that song while promising Groff they’d write something different, which he didn’t quite believe. “Then they fucking wrote that other song,” he says, characteristically effusive. “I was like, Wow, and the animation of the song is so brilliant.”

As personable as Groff is and as successful as he has become — and as beloved, especially among theater fans and people like my mother — there’s a point at which he maintains a certain distance, in what feels like a way to stem his own impulses. He doesn’t use any social media, though he did consider it when Looking was struggling, before he realized “I’d have to be good at it and want to do it, and I don’t.” He has never thrown himself a birthday party, because the impulse to make sure everyone’s having a good time would stress him out too much. In behavior that reminds me of both a secret agent and Kim Kardashian, he regularly goes through and deletes all his texts after responding to each of them. “I want to make sure I get back to everyone,” he says, holding his iPhone up in front of me to reveal the remarkably few surviving messages.

Before Groff gets up to leave breakfast and travel to rehearsal by way of the single-speed bicycle he rides around Manhattan, we end up talking about the larger trajectory of his career. Considering that he’s scaling down for a revival run of a musical Off Broadway, was he ever the kind of actor who thought of his work as building up to something? A big film? A franchise? “I think I gave that up when I came out of the closet,” he says. “I gave up the idea that there was an end goal or ideal or some kind of dream to work toward.” An image appears in my mind of the life Audrey sings about in Little Shop, a place that’s comfortable, traditional, and expected, somewhere that’s green. “When I moved to New York, what I wanted was to be on Broadway. That happened and then I came out, and it’s sort of been anybody’s guess since then,” Groff says. “I like when something makes me cry or I can’t stop listening to it. Okay, I want to do that.”

Little Shop of Horrors is in previews and opens October 17 at Westside Theatre Upstairs. Buy tickets here.

[amazildoessomethingstupid]

Character Re-imagined: Sandy

Well kids, we’re still doing our time for artist hiatus crimes so let’s move on to the next chapter! Chapter 100: High Expectatio-

OH FUCK RIGHT, I’M SO SORRY I DID NOT FORGET ABOUT YOU SANDY!  I SWEAR!

Okay, for those who haven’t dug too into this rant series.  A while back, I did a half-rant on the chapter Model Girlfriend, which of course was the chapter where Sandy came back to Roseville for a day.  I ended up not really finishing it because I found most of the talking points that I’d use, and the complaints I had with the chapter, weren’t necessarily with the chapter itself as much as it was with the characterization of Sandy.  And my problem with the characterization was more to do with how I wrote Sandy in comparison to how the canon wrote her.  And simply saying that my problem with a character was that she wasn’t how I wrote her just isn’t a fair critique by any measure.  And no matter what people may think about the rants, the one thing I don’t want the rants to be perceived as, is unfair.  

So I decided that I would do something similar to what I had done before, which was a Character Revisited which was for Paulo.  Where I talked about Paulo’s characterization before Boy Toy and how much of a difference was done to his personality, and demeanor in the recent chapters specifically Table for One (Actually, is it still technically “recent” if these chapters are 3 years old? Man this shit is long).  Anyway, I wanted to something similar for Sandy but be more of a Character Reimagined, talking about what I ended up having to do with the character and how I wrote them for January and False Idol.  It was SUPPOSED to be after the Pit Stop but I kind of forgot about it, and uhh…

I got distracted.  But nonetheless, we’re here now so let’s dive right into it.  This is Sandy Re-imagined.

So if we’re going to talk about my Sandy, and her development as a character we of course have to start with January, and January’s take on Just Beautiful.  And if you don’t know what January is, I’m not going to get too into it but it’s essentially my fancomic which is a faithful (as possible…) alternate take of the whole January arc, following the timeline from December to Happy Hour. And at its rough and rebellious beginnings, it was very run and gun in terms of writing.  I didn’t care as much about building characters outside of setting scenes, and focusing on Lucy and Susan…until…

I had to do Just Beautiful. A chapter that I hated, featuring a character that I hated, that was centered around a ship I didn’t care about, and had little effect on what was happening in the story aside from just making Mike remorseful, because of…

Yeeeah back then, I figured out that Sandy is more of a plot device, than an actual character (an opinion that still holds water today, and I swear to god I will get to that chapter). So I really did not care about her, or give her character any thought until I had to do this segment for January. Because, I cornered myself to do the chapter and realized something… “Hey, fuckface!  You’re a writer!  You don’t think this is interesting or fun?  Then just make it interesting and fun for you!” Sandy is such a blank slate of a character that I could kind of do anything I wanted for her outside of what’s established, and since there wasn’t much established it meant I had to…

Get creative! The first part of writing Sandy was tackling the issues I had with her character in comic, specifically how little we know of her personality, how she interacts not only with Mike, but with people outside of her relationship.  How does she take to adversity, how does she tackles problems, what problems does she face, how do they conflict with her relationship, and how does her relationship clash with that? And in January I couldn’t really dive too deep into that, especially because the story isn’t about her; it’s about Lucy.  But I wanted to at least give something, or hint at that with her little scene just to show that there is at least something there.  But more importantly, I wanted to establish one very key feature about Sandy. Something that I felt the comic left out, and it seems will never come true.

Sandy feels the distance too.  If you look at the scene in January, this is the one bit of dialogue (except on bit at the end) between Mike and Sandy that isn’t directly from the canon to stick to the canon.  And It is the main part of Sandy that I keep at her core because it is one of the one things we knew about Sandy which is that she loves Mike (aaaaand then Model Girlfriend came along and threw a wrench into that…) but at least for me this is what makes up Sandy.  And since we’re talking about Sandy as a character I am going to spoil False Idol quite a bit, because False Idol is essentially a story about finding out about Sandy.  Who she is, what her life is like, and how Mike plays into that.  But one of the main things about Sandy, that I changed about her is brought up in this one bit in January.

Sandy doesn’t tell anyone about Mike.  The more I thought about how little we know about Sandy as a person, the more I thought about how little Mike knows about Sandy as a person.  Which helped to expand her character more as a person.  Looking at Model Girlfriend the whole idea of “Mike really doesn’t know Sandy as a person” was realized…but taken to a more bitter end. Whereas I still held onto the idea of Sandy really loving Mike, but she doesn’t share that with anyone.  She keeps her romantic life separated from her co-workers and classmates, which is also touched on in False Idol.

And more importantly, it goes both ways.  In this way, there’s a lot more intrigue and options in Sandy’s character.  Why is she keeping Mike a secret?  Why did Sam have to steal Sandy’s phone to find this out? Is she ashamed of people knowing Mike’s her boyfriend or is there something more?  And Why haven’t we heard anything about these guys?  And the answer is something I won’t tell you, because that’d be too much of a spoiler, but what I will say is, that at her core the main statement I want to define Sandy is this: Sandy loves Mike.  She loves him as much as Mike loves her. BUT when creating a character, and understanding a character there is one big factor to consider which I found the most fun in writing Sandy and what elevated her into a character that I found myself very engrossed in as a writer.  To the point where even after 3 years I am still dedicated to writing her story in False Idol!  And the one thing to always remember is that no matter what as strong, complex, or emotional your character is.  They are only as interesting as the environment you put them in.  That’s why if you look at the Just Beautiful scene in January, the first time we see Sandy say anything, before she sees Mike; the first interaction we see to give us an idea of how she is outside of Mike is her talking to her best friend.

Sam!  Who has grown on me like an aggressive tumor, and will probably be the death of me.  The big part about writing Sandy and trying to make this character more interesting was building the environment around her.  Brainstorming ideas, and thinking about what her life is like outside of Mike. There is a joke song I wish to make someday parodying Avenue Q and BCB, called There is Life Outside of Your Plot Line, and that’s basically what I wanted to explore with Sandy.  Specifically her and the models.  It’d be easy to assume that the modeling business is cutthroat, and her coworkers are bitchy people, and it’s so taxing, and she hates it, and all that jazz.  But I wanted to take it in a different direction where her work environment isn’t actually that bad.  Her co-workers are nice and down to earth people, with their own personalities and viewpoints.  The first model to get expanded on like this of course being Sam, and her dynamic with Sandy.  This is where of course False Idol comes in and brings out that world more. To give us a better understanding of the kind of people that Sandy hangs around with. But in order to flesh that out I’d need more than Sam which is why in False Idol!

We get a slew of new characters!  In order: Charlie Hartman, Daniel “Dan” Mercado, Samantha “Sam” Cartwright, Ashley “Ash” Clements, Alice McCarthy, and Jason “Jay” Cartwright.  Oh and sadly I couldn’t fit him in here, but I would be doing my man a disservice by not mentioning him,

Tyrone the lovable meathead beefcake!  The only one who I didn’t make a last name for.  Because he doesn’t need it.  He’s just Tyrone.  Although I can only take half-credit for him, because he’s more of a shared joke between me and a friend that we both had a lot of fun working on.  All of these characters help to build the setting and world that Sandy lives in, with their own different personalities.  Sam being a spunky, rebellious, and surprisingly mature scamp; Alice being a very prideful, conceited, yet down to earth, and caring person; Ash being a grounded soft, cute, but hardened and smart girl.  All of the characters help to give us an idea of not only Sandy, but an idea of what she deals with and the people she associates with.  And one important thing about these characters, is the fact that I deliberately wrote it to where not one of these characters were assholes.  I didn’t want to fall into the trapping of having Sandy’s life outside of Mike be some like horrible mean world and Mike’s her only escape, or make it where “Oh little did we know that Sandy’s suffering from this one HORRIBLE MESSED UP THING! SO NOW YOU HAVE TO FEEL BAD FOR HER AND SYMPATHIZE WITH HER OR ELSE YOU’RE AN ASSHOLE!” No, I wanted Sandy to have a fairly average life.  So if you were thinking False Idol was gonna do some fucked up heel-turn like “OH BOY, LITTLE DID YOU KNOW THAT SANDY IS ACTUALLY A DRUG ADDICT AND WHORED HERSELF OUT TO GET THE JOB!” I’m sorry that’s not happening…Actually, fuck you I’m not sorry because that’s fucked up I’m not going there.  AND I SWEAR TO GOD IF TAESHI DOES SOMETHING LIKE THAT WHERE IT TURNS OUT OH NO, SANDY HAD SOME FUCKED UP SHIT GOING ON WE DIDN’T KNOW ABOUT AND NOW WE ARE FORCED TO FEEL SAD!  I am going to be fucking fuming mad.

The main thing I wanted to do when writing Sandy, given how little we know about her and the setting she is in.  Is to show this setting she’s in and give us an idea of what her life was like.  I wrote Sandy and False Idol, in a way where you can look at her and the characters that surround her and feel like there was another comic going on at the same time.  And we’re just coming in after they’ve gone through their own different mini story arcs and this is some big moment in their story too.  I mean imagine if Mike suddenly went missing, running away from home and then Sandy comes to Roseville to get answers.  And then she learns more about everyone, and all the stuff Mike’s been through…

Actually that’d be pretty damn cool honestly.  Damn. Taeshi should steal that.  That would be fucking awesome and turn this ship around quick…sigh…if only.  Anyway, what I’m trying to say here is this.

Sandy is a character that I hated.  She was a character that I did not care about at all, and didn’t think anything of.  I saw her in the comic as a plot device and nothing more.  But with creative thinking, care, and love for the comic I reinvented her to be more than that.  To be a good character in her own right.  With her own message, with her own story to tell.  And I believe she has the potential to be just that.  To be more than what she is.  I didn’t want her to be a lie, or a complete fake of what Mike thought she was.  I wanted her to be nice, caring, wholesome, naïve, mature, a little selfish, sneaky, clever, but full of love and surrounded by love and support.   She loves her friends, she loves Mike, she loves her job.

And to see her in canon I just…

I feel disappointed to see her as nothing but a plot device to stab the reader in the gut with and make them feel bad.  I wish she was more.  More than an enigma, more than a bitch, more than another person to make Mike feel bad. Sandy could’ve been better.  She could’ve been so much better.  And I just wish Taeshi did better.  

As someone I looked up to, as someone who inspired me… I wish she’d be better than me.  

[constantlyirksome]

With Lucifer’s Fourth Season, The Devils in the Lack of Detail, (Spoiler Review.)

As a diehard DeckerStar fan, the end of Lucifer season three was as devastating to me as anybody, and the thought of never knowing if Chloe would ever accept Lucifer with his devil face hounded me. Did she run away in fear? Did she go in for a make-out on his crispy face? When the news hit that Lucifer was coming to Netflix I like all the other fans let out a sigh of relief. After episode one, I immediately take that relieved sigh back!

Spoil

The opening, Lucifer doing Radiohead’s Creep, alone in his nightclub every night for months, getting more and more disheveled with time was a brilliant way to lay out Lucifers angst on the table, along with some context on how long Chloe fled the country from, which is what she did. Now as an avid fan and a shipper this might seem like madness, but Linda went practically catatonic when she saw the Devil Face, Chloe earned some thinking time, she had the devils tongue in her mouth that’s cause for retrospection. We got no solid relief the whole episode as she avoided Luci’s prodding gaze and questions, insisting she was fine. But she wasn’t, and the end of episode’s twist, that she was plotting Lucifer’s descent back to hell with a priest hit like a semi-trailer to the stomach.

How dare she! I cried, but again, context is important, she had just figured out she knew the devil, she has a kid she needs to protect but it was still a dick move. After this, however not a lot interesting happens for a while. Now arguably on a streaming platform where people are likely to devour the whole season in a weekend, which I did, so not every episode needs a huge climax like a regular weekly serial. However, the points between this betrayal, Lucifer finding out and swiftly dealing with the problem, and the arrival of Eve are muddied. The murder of the week format has lost some of its charms, even with zany crimes and scenes, like the set of a survivor type reality show, do little to jazz up some very uninteresting murders. I found throughout the ten episodes I was able to follow and enjoy maybe three of the cases, the other’s were either convoluted or very dull. The nudist colony murder was a very good opportunity to get a close look on the peach fuzz on Tom Eliss’ butt. The cases that bring Lucifer’s fall (second fall) from grace, where he begins to punish and beat the murderers he catches for a while serve only as plot devices and little else.

So ultimately there was very little connecting the major plot points, the priest goes to jail randomly, Eve shows up with little investigation into how she escaped heaven, Lucifer is into two women, then the priest shows back up but he’s a demon now.

Now a lot of these individual pieces of narrative worked on their own. Lucifer’s obsession with self hatred and punishment, visually represented by his ever-changing devil form, was thematically sound, torn between the man he was in the garden of Eden, to who he is now solving crimes.

All of this comes to a head when he comes to the cheery realization, “I hate myself!” He’s skirted around his self-hatred, his guilt and resentment as his identity is wrapped up in everyone else’s sins, with Linda in therapy and it’s an incredibly interesting plot line to tug at, that Tom Ellis has risen to really well. What could be considered over the top at the shows conception now works in his favor.

The two women in his life, Chloe and Eve, basically revolve around him and do little else which is a shame, because they are both incredible women. Chloe’s character has been built up in the past, a strong intelligent single mother with some compelling backstory. She prided herself on her ability to rationalize, to do the right thing, but her story is so woven into Lucifer’s now that their romantic intentions are clearer now. She spends a lot of time being a badass, solving crime but she also spends a lot of time crying about Lucifer, the literal devil.

Eve is similarly linked to Luci in totally different ways. She is a thrilling character, imbued with the personality and backstory of the first sinner, but also the first human woman, filled with compassion, spirit, and curiosity. Actress Inbar Lavi brings so much zeal and childlike innocence it’s impossible not to love her. She does bring out the worst in Lucifer, loving him as the tempter from the garden, strong and unyielding in his punishment of evil. So despite her bubbly innocence her biggest character developments either revolve around pleasing and keeping Lucifer in her life, or trying to rebel against her husband, Adam. I truly hope, if there is a season five, she comes back; maybe we can get some more backstory or footage from Eden.

All the other supporting players actually had a lot to do, and a lot of growing to do as well. Barring Dan. I don’t remember fully why he is so salty, it’s linked to Charlotte’s death in season three, but he does nothing but mope. Ella, also affected heavily by Charlotte’s passing, questions her faith, but there is no evidence of that journey, no real work is done before she moves back to her faith, apart from a totally random, gratuitous tonsil hockey session with Dan. Seriously where did that come from, and why the creators thought it was necessary.

Linda, Mazikeen and Amenadiel had the most complete, satisfying arcs throughout the season’s length. Linda becomes pregnant with Amenadiel’s baby, which is a fascinating turn of events. What will the baby be like? Would it have wings, or be celestial, or have laser vision. It also begs the question, if Amenadiel could impregnate a woman on his first try, how is there not a little baby Lucifer anti-Christ running around? Their struggle in coming to grips with what it will mean to be parents. Amenadiel's newfound love and respect for humanity has him excited to raise a baby away from heaven. Leading to one of the most impressive pieces of plot, when he tries out being a father figure to a young black man who’s had a rough relationship with the law. He learns both how hard it is being there for a son, but also about real-world politics, in this case police brutality against black people in America. It was a surprisingly insightful moment for a typically camp show. Would it be better to raise their son, Charlie, on earth, or in the silver city?

Side note, Lucifer and Amenadiel's sister coming down to steal the baby when the plan was to raise him on Earth, only to give up after moderate resistance, was another wasted opportunity, though it did plant the seed in Amenadiel's head to take the baby.

Mazikeen slowly becomes more human this season (ironic considering her initial stance on Lucifer hanging out with Chloe), through her friendship with Linda (the best relationship/dynamic on the show next to Maze/Trixie) and her job as a bounty hunter. With Lucifer Linda and Trixie, she built a sort of pseudo-family, but she still lacked a romantic connection, which has her unfulfilled apparently. I didn’t like this either. Her last minute fling with Eve wasn’t thought out, and it was just a ploy by Eve to win back a man who didn’t care so it sort of felt like a big screw you to Maze, who like a lot of the others had little else to do this year.

Although Lucifer’s character arc was tight, was a step towards real growth, and a realistic way to delay gratification for his and Chloe’s relationship it came at the expense of any larger story arc or side plots for some of the other characters who deserved a little more after coming back from cancelation.  The end shots, Lucifer sitting on a madly impractical throne does lead to the exciting possibility of exploring more of hell, and baby Charlie brings with him the opportunity to explore the silver city. However, after being canceled once already having as big a cliffhanger as last season seems risky, and if the show doesn’t get a season five fans might go mad thinking about it, even if the fourth season was a little messy.

[fallen029]

Birthday Mayhem

It felt like a typical day, honestly, for most of the guild members at Fairy Tail. In fact, it actually was. There was the typical drama in the hall of so and so arguing with whoever about this or that, but Mira was still there, serving drinks, Kinana tacking up jobs, and Makarov, in his old age, was seated atop the bar as usual, staff in one hand and eyes closed in deep meditation (or sleep; probably sleep). People were milling about the busy hall and things were just...peaceful.

Fairy Tail was, for the first time in a long while, at rest.

Happy, the typically most at ease whether times were stressful or not, did not feel this peace that day. No. Instead, he was wracked with nerves.

"What's wrong?" Lucy yawned a bit as, being such an early hour, she'd come around the hall for some breakfast before taking a solo job (she was really strapped for cash; she didn't have time for Natsu's typical shenanigans that went along with going on one with him). She'd just been served by Mirajane and was about to take a bite of her toast when, suddenly, a blue ball of fur crashed onto the table. She hardly batted an eye at the Exceed though. He, too, was known for his antics. "Happy?"

He took a deep breath in, the feline did, before looking quickly around, as if trying to place someone. Apparently satisfied, he then looked at the celestial mage and informed her, "It's Lisanna's birthday."

"Oh, is it?" She smiled then, Lucy did. Or, well, she was, and in fact was in the middle of replying how nice that was, when Happy reached with his furry pawn to grab one of her sausage links. Quickly dragging the plate away from him, she remarked in annoyance, "What's that gotta do with you shoving your gross paws in my food, cat?"

Defeated (in that portion of things, at least), Happy frowned just as heavily at her. "Lucy, don't you understand?"

"Understand what?"

"It's Lisanna's birthday," he reiterated once more. "Don't you know what that means?"

"Mmmm...that she was born on this day?"

"That she's gonna expect Natsu to know!" The cat shook his head some. "But there's no way he will. Natsu never remembers anything! When I asked him what he was gonna do today, he didn't even mention having plans!"

"Then… Why didn't you just remind him?" Lucy was having a very hard time understanding exactly what the problem with all of this was, honestly. Well, not completely. Sure, it would suck for Lisanna if Natsu didn't remember her boyfriend, but at the same time, with such a simple solution… These were the exact shenanigans she was hoping to avoid that day. "Then he would know and-"

"It won't be the same, Lucy," Happy insisted, exasperated it seemed with the blonde. "If he remembers on his own it'll be so romantic and sweet and-"

"Well, maybe he will."

"But what if he doesn't?"

"Then you should remind him."

"But then it won't be-"

"Happy," she complained a bit, "I had something I wanted to do today. Is this really that big of a deal?"

"It's a huge deal!" He might have even yelled at her, just slightly. Lucy blinked as the cat, considering his tone, sighed some and said, "I just really don't want Natsu and Lisanna to break up."

"Why would they break up? Over this? Especially if you could just tell-"

"Lucy, I know that you have no understanding of relationships like me and Natsu do-"

"Natsu is in a relationship. You're stalking another Exceed who has more than made it clear she's not into you."

"-but this is serious." And the cat didn't sound like he was purposely being over dramatic. He truly was feeling these things. "This is the first birthday that Lisanna is gonna have since her and Natsu got together, like really together, and I just want it to be special for her."

Sighing some, Lucy reached over to pat him on his head. "You're really worked up about all this, huh?"

"Imagine if you were actually attractive to a guy and he forgot your birthday-"

"You're pushing it, fur ball."

"I'd always remember Carla's birthday," he assured Lucy. "If she ever told it to me."

"Well," Lucy sighed slightly as, after a glance over at the request board where, no doubt, there was the perfect job, just waiting for her. "I guess I could stick around and help you figure this all out."

"You mean it?"

Nodding, she said, "But what do you want to do, Hap? If you don't wanna just tell him-"

"We can't."

"Then-"

"What are you losers being so loud about?"

And they were joined at the table then by Gray, who set down with a mug of beer. Lucy made a bit of a face at his typical state of undress, but Happy only eyed who sat down beside him, practically in his lap.

"Juvia," the feline remarked. "You're the exact person to help. And you two, Gray. You both know a lot about relationships."

"Yes," the water mage remarked. "We do."

"We might," Gray complained around his ale, "but definitely varying amount. Separate, varying amounts."

"Lucy here," the Exceed remarked, jerking a thumb towards the woman on the other side of the table, "isn't very knowledgeable in the ways of love. Not like the two of you."

"I wish I'd just gotten my job," Lucy sighed, once more glancing over at the request board. I could be on a train right now, away from stupid cats who are destined to be forever alone-"

"What would you do, Juvia?" Happy asked. "If Gray forgot my birthday?"

"You can't forget," the ice mage replied, "what you don't know."

Juvia considered the question for far longer though. Eventually, she said, "I would be crushed, I would imagine."

"And you wouldn't want that to happen to one of your friends, would you?" the feline kept up.

Suddenly, the blue haired woman's eyes grew darker before, with accusation in her gaze, she glanced between Gray and Lucy.

"My Gray darling should forget every other woman's birthday," she remarked simply. "If this is your idea of trying to stake a claim, Lucy, then-"

"It's not my birthday," she complained with a frown. "And I don't expect Gray to remember it."

"Do you expect Natsu to remember it?" Happy questioned then, glancing at her once more.

"I mean, if he doesn't even remember his girlfriend's, then-"

"Is that what this is about then?" Just like that, Juvia's eyes weren't so clouded and her tone wasn't so harsh. "Oh, poor Lisanna. To have such a forgetful boyfriend. Luckily, Gray would never forget such an important date."

"Again I reiterate," Gray remarked, "you can't remember what you never knew. And hey, Happy, what's up with all the questions, huh? It's Lisanna's birthday today, right? That's what you said? Then just go tell flame breath that it's his girl's birthday and problem's solved, right?"

"You would think," Lucy sighed. "But Happy thinks-"

"It would just be more romantic," the Exceed once more said, this time to the ice mage and the woman still seemingly stuck to his side. "Don't you think?"

"Yes," Juvia agreed.

"I really don't give a shit," Gray replied. "I mean, wouldn't it be more romantic for him to be reminded, Happy, then him completely forget?"

"That's why we have to make sure he doesn't completely forget." He balled up a fist and pumped it a bit. "We're Natsu's closest friends. And Lisanna's too, kind of. Some of us. Maybe. At the very least, we all love them both a bunch, right? So we have to make sure that this goes right for them."

"But how?" Gray complained as Lucy nodded in agreement at the question.

"I think," came a voice approaching the table, "that I can be of much assistance."

And she was there then, finally, as always, to save the others from their definite inabilities to accomplish a job. Erza Scarlet. Titania Erza. Savior of all.

Also, she'd just returned, victorious once more from a difficult job where, following it, she had her praises sang to her for an entire day as the tiny village insisted on her staying to celebrate her banishing the monster from their daily lives. Which meant that she was even more full of herself than usual.

"Really?" Happy asked the redhead. "You'll help?"

"Of course," she said with a nod of her head. "As soon as you tell me what it is that's wrong."

"You mean," Gray complained, "that you didn't even know? But you came over here and insisted that you could help-"

"Is that a problem?" Erza raised an eyebrow and, suddenly, Gray found it much more interesting to stare down into his beer as he only mumbled out an excuse of some sort.

"Natsu doesn't remember Lisanna's birthday," Happy began to tell the woman.

"And," Lucy took over, "the cat seems to think that if we just remind him-"

"Then it wouldn't be romantic," Erza finished and they all stared in shock, but she only had her stoic face on. "Yes, that would be a terribly unromantic thing. What if Lisanna found out then? Hmm? That we just told him? How would she feel? As someone who knows the way of the human heart very well-"

"You do?" Lucy asked. When she got that eyebrow raise from the woman, she was quick to change her timbre. "You do."

"I do," Erza agreed. She was tired of being questioned.

"I think you girls are blowing this out of proportion anyways," Gray griped (though not at Erza). "So he either forgets or he remembers. Lisanna puts up with all his other shit. Will she really be that shocked? Or hurt? And is remembering a date that 'romantic' or whatever anyways? Natsu's a dumbass. His girlfriend knows that."

"Men naturally do not understand the ways of women," Erza asserted. She should know. She was a (self-proclaimed) expert in the ways of love. Yes. "Therefore your opinion is invalid, Gray."

"Happy's a...well, a male, at least," the ice mage complained. "Why is his opinion counted? It's the whole reason we're all even having this conversation!"

"I think, my love," Juvia told him softly, "it is simply because he agrees with her."

Erza gave no glares for that. It was the truth.

"I have devised a plan," she decided then, Erza did, as she still stood before the table in all her armored glory.

"Already?" Lucy voiced her uncertainty.

"Yes." Nodding, the swordswoman said, "It is quite simple, really. The problem is he does not remember and we cannot directly inform him of the day. Well, then we must give him subtle hints."

"Well, duh," Gray remarked. When he, once more, got a glare, he was quick to add, "I just mean, obviously that's what we're gonna do. But Natsu's super dense. He's an idiot."

No one at the table balked at this. Not even Happy or Lucy. They all were in agreement on that.

"Yes, well," Erza kept up, still thinking. She was good at that. Thinking. She was good at most things. "We could...come up with a safety net."

"I dunno," Happy sighed at the thought. "Crafting a big net seems like a lot of work in such short time. And what would be the pay off?"

"I don't think," Lucy said with a look, "that's what she meant, Hap. And I also think you knew that."

Of course.

"Which is?" Juvia asked then, looking at Erza quizzically. While she wasn't the biggest fan of Natsu (which stemmed from her beloved not being one either) she did somewhat like Lisanna. While she was still getting acclimated to the guild, the other woman had returned to it and all it's new quirks, which meant they got accustomed to the place together. She found the youngest Strauss to be quite approachable and fun.

"It's quite simple," she explained. "While some of us spend the day attempting to put the idea back in his head, the rest of us should take to preparing a nice date that, as a last resort, we will lead them on. We'll spare no expense."

"I'm broke," Lucy pointed out. "In fact, I was just about headed on a job-"

"I have a fish head in my knapsack," Happy offered up, patting at his back.

"Yeah, I'm not giving anything to this either," Gray added to which, with a bit of a nod, Juvia had to agree.

"More than our time," the water mage offered.

Erza huffed a bit before remarking, "Then I will spare no expense as, more than likely I fear that this is the direction in which this whole thing shall go. If that does turn out to be the case, the ones who are going to go about hinting him will lead him back to he and Happy's home where, outside of it, the others will have set up a nice dinner and have purchased a cake."

"Their house?" Lucy asked with a bit of a frown. "Are you sure?"

"Your apartment then, will do nicely," Erza decided.

"My what now?"

"Yeah!" Happy was energized at the thought. "They can stay over at your apartment, Lucy, like a nice hotel or something. And you can bunk with me, back at the house."

"I hardly call where you live a house."

"Then I rescind my invitation." Happy frowned. "And to think I was going to share my fish head with you."

"I don't want your stupid fish head anyways, you dumb-"

"The park," Gray spoke up then. "We can set them a nice picnic up in the park."

"Yes," Erza agreed. "That will do."

"Since Lucy is too stuck up to stay over at me and Natsu's house-"

"I highly doubt the two of them wanna bunk at my place for the night anyways, cat."

"So who wishes then," the swordswoman went on, "wishes to do which job?"

"Well, I'm definitely not spending all day hanging around flame breath, trying to convince him to remember his girlfriend," Gray said with a bit of a snort. "I'll help out with the getting stuff together, because I do like Lisanna, but Natsu-"

"That makes sense," Erza cut him off with a nod. "And I will, of course, go to Natsu and-"

"Uh, Erza?" Lucy had her turn at interrupting then. "Not to...disway you, but are you sure that you're really the person for the job? To give subtle hints at something? Subtle is not exactly your strong suit."

"You do not think so?" the other woman asked.

"No, I don't. I mean, if you wanna give it a try-"

"And you're the one 'sparing no expense'," Gray pointed out. "Remember?"

"Ah. Yes." She sighed. She really did like the idea of it, attempting to convince the slayer of the importance of the date. It felt almost like a game, truly, and she was nothing if not someone with a deep competitive drive. "I suppose I could be a part of the preparations instead."

Juvia sensed something and, glancing back and forth between Erza and Gray, she remarked, "The two of you? Partnered together? I must be included in the preparations as well!"

"Why are you yelling?" Lucy griped a bit as she pressed a hand to her head. "And let's see, I guess that leaves me and-"

"Me." Happy looked to her. "You and me. We have to remind Natsu of Lisanna's birthday."

"Do I have to be stuck with the cat?" It was simple, it seemed, for the celestial mage to find something new to complain about. "I mean, come on."

"Like you'll be much help." Happy even sighed. "But I guess you'll have to do."

"I could always leave on a job and let you do it on your own, you know. You're the one that asked me for help, Happy." Finally, now that her food was cold, she didn't put up much of a fight as he took a sausage link for himself. "Don't forget it."

The teams separated then, with Juvia using all her resources now to mostly keep an eye on Erza (the woman was sneaky for sure), while Gray and Erza spoke between themselves over just what sorta things they should purchase for the date. Happy and Lucy, on the other hand, headed in the opposite direction.

"The first thing we have to do," Happy said as he fluttered along above Lucy's head, "is find Natsu."

"Well, where did you last see him? At you guys' house? Do you think he's still there?"

"I dunno," the Exceed said. "But I bet he's somewhere close by."

"Maybe," Lucy hummed a bit, "he's planning he and Lisanna's day and we don't even have anything to worry about."

This, of course, was not the case.

They actually ran into the slayer on his way to the guildhall. He seemed quite pleased to seem them both.

"Hey, Hap, Lucy, I was just looking for you," he remarked as they approached one another on the street. "What are you two doing?"

"Looking for you," Lucy offered up, grinning widely just from the sight of him. "Natsu. On this day. Such a great day, don't you think?"

"Well," he huffed a bit. "It's not raining, at least."

"Ha, Natsu, you're so funny." And Happy practically dive bombed into his chest, forcing the slayer to catch him.

"Hey, little buddy, what's the big idea!"

"I just wanted to hug you, Natsu, that's all," the Exceed laughed as he was, promptly, dropped to the ground by the slayer. "To show you that I care about you. On today. On a day like today."

"It is," Lucy agreed, "a pretty important day."

"All because it ain't raining?" Natsu frowned at the two of them. "And anyhow, I was looking for ya because-"

"Because of the nice day it is today?" Lucy asked.

"And how much you care? Not necessarily about us, I guess," Happy kept up, "but about the people in your life? Who are important to you? Because-"

"What are you two talking about? And hey, what were you doing together anyways?" This time, his eyes were a bit suspicious. "You're not plannin' somethin', are ya?"

"Who? Us?" Lucy tried hard not to look like this was absolutely what she was doing. "No way. Are you crazy?"

"Yeah," Happy agreed from the ground. "What do I look like? Sneaking behind your back to do something with Lucy? I would think you know me better than that, Natsu, but I guess not."

He sighed some, the pink haired man did, before nodding his head. "I guess that's right. What could you two be planning against me anyways?"

No doubt something for his own good.

Always.

"Anyways," Lucy said slowly as, turning, she easily fell in step with the slayer as he began his trek once more. "Where were you headed?"

"Just the hall," he said simply. "I wanted to see if that bastard Gray was around. I-"

"Gray?" Happy tried hard not to be disappointed. "Why would you be bothering with Gray today?"

"That sneaking bastard owes me-"

"Who cares about that?" Lucy asked. "Or about him at all?"

This was usually the right idea for Natsu, but at the moment the insinuation just wasn't cutting it for him. Not when he needed to collect from the man immediately.

"I do," Natsu complained. "I have to find him. Do either of you know where he is?"

They looked to one another then, Happy and Lucy did. They both knew that they couldn't lead Natsu to Gray because there was a possibility that, spying him in the shopping district picking up a cake and such with Erza, that he would become suspicious of their plans and, thus, not be duped either into remembering or showing up at the park without being outright told, but rather being blatantly shown the situation at hand and, wow, when Lucy really thought it out, why didn't they just do that?

"We'll take you to him," Happy said suddenly and for a second, Lucy though they'd come to the same conclusion. "Right this way."

Until the Exceed headed in the opposite direction of where Gray certainly was and, ugh, Lucy was starting to resign to the fact that she was not going to be going out on a job that day.

"Happy," she complained a bit as Natsu, though he was supposed to be the one being led began to take the lead, and the Exceed fluttered close to her. "Where exactly where are we going to take him?"

"Anywhere," the blue cat explained, "that Gray, Erza, and Juvia are not. Hopefully to Lisanna. After he's remembered, of course."

"Of course," Lucy sighed, following along.

They would not find Lisanna, however, as at that moment she'd just arrived at the guildhall, where Natsu had instructed her to meet him that afternoon. She was slightly disappointed to not find him there, but also understanding to his typical forgetfulness, and went straight over to her sister to question where he'd mistakenly gone out on a job that day.

"No," Mira giggled. "He hasn't even been in yet. And did you get the card I left you? On the kitchen table?"

"Mmmhmm!" Lisanna was just as giggly. "'Thanks, sis. It was really thoughtful."

"Well, we normally go out to dinner," the barmaid sighed a bit. "But I'm sure you and Natsu have something going on tonight instead-"

"We can go to dinner tomorrow night. If you're off."

"I can get off," she assured her, but just as quickly, someone was calling out to Mira, needing a refill and, well, duty called and all.

"Oh, Lisanna," Mira called as she headed away. "I almost forgot. Someone did want to see you."

"They did?"

"Uh-huh. Erza for some reason. In the park. She said for you not to arrive until midday though."

Lisanna sighed some, but agreed. Besides, she should be meeting Natsu soon; surely he'd not mind taking a detour there.

At the moment, he wouldn't have minded at all, if he knew that that was the exact location that Gray was. He was griping too, at Happy and Lucy, convinced now that this was just all some sort of big game to them. And, well, he was kinda right at least.

"I really need to find him, guys, so if you don't know where he is-"

"Just a little further," Happy kept up. "And hey, it must be awful important for you to find him. Is there anything else important that you have to do today? Do you think?"

"What are you talking about? Just take me to Gray!"

"Happy," Lucy tried, growing weary of the game they very much so were playing. "Maybe-"

"Just," the cat continued on, "a little further. And why do you want Gray anyways? What could he possibly owe you? On such a nice day? Huh? That's more important than-"

"I've been trying to tell you-" And Natsu stopped so suddenly that Lucy, who was following closely behind him, crashed into him rather roughly.

"Natsu," she complained, rubbing at her head. "What-"

"Wait a minute." He glared up at the sky then where Happy, realizing the others had stopped, was turning to face them in the air. "You guys in on it. Aren't you?"

"In on what?" Happy asked.

"You were looking all suspicious and were together and you guys never hang out together without me!"

"Well, some of us take jobs more frequently than two of us here," Lucy remarked. "So they don't have near the same amount of time to just hang about-"

"Plus it's Lucy," Happy agreed. "Who wants to be alone with her?"

"You know what, cat, I-"

"You're in cahoots! With Gray! Of all people!" Natsu huffed at the pair of them. "I can't believe you. Don't you know how important it is that I find him?"

Happy, exasperated as well (by this point, they'd spent a good chunk of the day going around in circles, searching fruitlessly for Gray while also constantly dropping hints; there was only so much a little cat could take), hurled his own accusation Natsu's way.

"Do you?" he questioned. "Huh? Natsu? How could you not? I thought that you loved Lisanna, but-"

"Of course I love Lisanna!" Natsu found offense in that. "Why do you think I've spent the whole day chasing Gray's ugly mug around town!"

"Surely," Lucy questioned slowly, "for some other reason? Because, I mean, I can't see one."

"Do you know," Happy griped with a heavy frown at his very best friend, "what today is, Natsu?"

At the exact moment Lucy and Happy were waiting for an answer, Erza was finishing up with the touches on her wonderful picnic while Juvia fantasied the idea of her and Gray just totally ditching the whole plan they had in place and, have their own date.

He was not receptive to this idea and Erza was too lost in her own world, marveling over her excellence at helping her friends once more to notice. Not to mention, the cake she'd picked up at the bakery was exceptionally exquisite, and though she had one back at the bakery she planned to swing by and pick up after all this, well, it was hard not to just open the box and at least take a whiff of it's excellence.

Still, in comparison to Lucy and Happy, the trio was far more successful in their portion of the plan. Honestly, no one would have expected anything less. And, when Lisanna arrived in the park, Erza was more than ready to greet her.

"Hi, Erza," she grinned easily, if not a bit uncertain. "And...Gray. Juvia."

It wasn't that Lisanna did not wish to spend her birthday with the three of them...it's just that...well, actually it was that. Erza was far closer to being her sister's friend than hers and while Juvia was alright, Gray, again, was not someone Lisanna considered too close. She figured it was something unrelated to her birthday, honestly, that they needed, and while she was always one to help her guild mates, she did really wanna get back to the hall as quickly as possible.

"Lisanna," Erza greeted easily as Gray gave a bit of a nod and Juvia actually wished her a happy birthday.

"Are you guys… On a date?" Lisanna took note of the blanket spread on the grass, the picnic basket, and the three of them standing before it. "The...three of you? I mean, there's nothing wrong with that, I just-"

"Share my darling?" Juvia, quite easily, turned on the youngest Strauss member. "I could never!"

As Erza frowned at the implication (surely she could do better than Gray and Juvia, if she were on the market in such a way…) and even sighed a bit. Much like her boyfriend, clearly, Lisanna was not the best at reading a situation.

"No," she said simply. "We are not."

"Oh." Lisanna didn't know why she let out such a sound of relief, but she did. The idea of someone else for Juvia to possibly be possessive over was downright terrifying. Err, actually yes, that was the exact reason for her relief. "Well… I'm sorry, but I was wanting to meet Natsu today at the guildhall and he's a little late, but I should really get back in case-"

"That's exactly why we've invited you here," Erza was quick to say. "Or, well, Natsu has. Yes. He wished for us to set up this...date, of sorts, for your birthday."

"Really?" Lisanna seemed skeptical. "That wasn't really what we had plan-"

"Hey!"

And there he was, the man himself, with the loud screech from across the park as he came running over at full blast, Happy and Lucy, of course, tailing behind.

"Gray!" Once more, Natsu hollered as he smash smack into the ice make wizard, tackling him to the ground. "You big phony!"

"What the heck, Natsu? You idiot, get off-"

"You owe me-"

"I don't owe you shit!"

"What," Erza complained as she rushed to grab the cake box before the two buffoons rolled over on it (and just because she needed that whiff before she handed it off to Natsu and Lisanna), "is going on? You two, stop this at once!"

"You guys don't understand." Lucy was there, finally, out of breath and panting. "Natsu...didn't forget...anything!"

"Lisanna!" Happy took to crashing against her, but she was much more receptive towards it than Natsu had been much earlier in the day. "Happy birthday!"

She giggled, the youngest Strauss did, though she was still a bit confused. "Thank you, Happy, but what-"

"I brought you a fish! Well, only if you want it-"

"I mean, if you don't wanna give it to me-"

"Thanks, you're so understanding."

Lucy took the time out to make a face over at the feline before, once more, addressing the others.

"Natsu remembered Lisanna's birthday," she was quick to say. "In fact, he was going to meet up with her after speaking with Gray. Apparently, he owes him-"

"That?" And finally, Gray managed to shove the pink haired man off him. "That's what you want?"

"Yeah! I need it! So hand it over!"

"What," Erza griped, "are you two talking about?"

Gray groaned too as, reaching into the pocket of his jeans, he easily produced a tiny orb which, at the sight, Lisanna squeezed the life out of Happy in her excitement.

"Oh gosh, Natsu, honestly?" she questioned as Happy wondered if he'd ever taste oxygen again.

"Honestly," he said as, reaching over, he easily snatched the little blue orb from the ice makers hand before popping up. "Here you guy, Lis."

She rewarded him with another giggle and a kiss.

"What," Juvia also griped, though hers was rooted in something much darker (it could be construed, after all, in a distorted set of events, that Gray was the one presenting the youngest Strauss with something, "is it?"

"It's a defunt lacrima," Gray remarked. "It was offered on the job I was gonna go on and Natsu told me that I could keep the cash reward and he'd pay me some extra. But I don't-"

"It's the perfect size," Natsu remarked. "I could tell it would be, based off the description on the job. I was gonna take it, but then Lucy and Happy wanted to go on a different one, and Gray was gonna go anyways, so-"

"Perfect size for what?" Lucy asked, apparently not privy to that.

"To replace the one he broke." And Lisanna was staring at the tiny crystal like ball, rolling it around in her palm. "I had one, a special one, from when we were kids. It was attached to a necklace. We got it as a reward on the first job we took together. But he broke it a couple of months ago when-"

"You're the one that left it on the floor," he griped. "So I stepped on it, so what? What difference-"

"I didn't leave it on the floor. You and Happy raided my room when you were board and must have-"

"Oh," Lucy sighed. "I'm so glad to hear they do that to other people as well."

"Then..." Juvia looked between them all. "What was this all about? Any of it? We did all of this for...nothing? Because Natsu was going to go to Gray and get the lacrima and then meet with Lisanna. So why did we go through all of this extra stuff if-"

"Happy," Erza began softly as her dark gaze, finally, after a long day, found its way to him. "You are the cause for ruining everyone's day."

"Me?" He huffed a bit as, finally, Lisanna had released him to the ground. "I didn't do anything! Natsu's the one that said he didn't remember Lisanna's birthday."

"When did I say that?" the slayer asked with a frown.

"This morning! You said you didn't have any plans!"

"I said," Natsu complained, "that I didn't have any plans with you."

"Yeah, but...but… Lucy's the one-"

"Na-ah, cat." She even shook her head. "This is all on you."

"Wait, so what were you guys all doing then?" Lisanna finally glanced around herself. "They said you wanted to meet here, Natsu? Was it just to get this? Because I thought that we were going to go out to dinner. I mean, this is nice, but-"

"I don't what they're all doing." Natsu easily took the woman's arm. "And yeah, we were, after we spent the day-"

"Down by the river. I know," she agreed. "But you didn't show up at the hall-"

"Happy and Luce were leading me on a wild goose chase."

"Again," Lucy intervened, "I reiterate, that's all on Happy here."

The cat frowned then, down at the ground, before whispering, "I just wanted you guys to have the best birthday date ever. That's all."

"And we're going to," Natsu assured him as Lisanna only smiled down at him.

"Yeah, Happy," she agreed. "And thank you so much for caring. An awful lot, at that."

"You have no idea," Lucy complained, still put out by the whole thing.

"Well," Erza was hurrying things along then. "If the pair of you have other plans, I suppose you should be getting on with them, hmm?"

They did then, after thanking everyone once more, and then the five of them were left, the day nearly all but wasted, with a picnic that none of them wanted to share with the other, more annoyed than anything else.

"Hey!" Suddenly, Gray was more agitated than the others. "That slimeball never paid me!"

"Another time." Juvia was quick to pounce on the idea that had been rattling around in her head the entire time. "We wouldn't want to let this feast go to waste, would be?"

"Aye, sir," Happy agreed as, suddenly, he was right out of his funk.

"A feast," the water mage corrected with a glare, "for two."

"And of which I think Erza owns," Lucy pointed out.

"Hmm?" At the sound of her name, the swordswoman looked up. "Oh, yes, the food, right. Well… It shouldn't go to waste. Have at it, everyone!"

"N-No," Juvia tried. "I meant- Happy, shouldn't you be off doing something else?"

"Well, Natsu and Lisanna are on a date and Lucy's here stuffing her face, so where else would I be?" the Exceed asked.

"Uh, you're the only one stuffing their face, cat," Lucy pointed out as she only stood by, her arms still crossed. "And I hope you know that I needed to do something today, but instead of doing it, I led Natsu all over the city for what? Exactly? For you to insult me all day?"

"The reward is not always monetary or even measurable in any way outside of the consciousness of a job well done. Not to mention assisting a comrade," Erza informed her. Them all really. "Which we have all done today."

"How?" Gray asked from his spot on the ground where he still hadn't gotten up, though this was more due to the fact that Juvia was literally holding him there then, having drug him over to the blanket, insistent that she and him at least sit together and pretend as if they were going to enjoy some of the food Happy was quickly working through. "Huh?'

"Perhaps it wasn't Natsu and Lisanna we helped at all," Titania explained. "But, rather, their precious little cat."

For some reason, it was only glares that the others had for him though.

"Apparently," the ice mage complained as, with that nugget of wisdom, the swordswoman made off with the cake and left them behind. "Another reward for a job well done is cake."

Silly, Gray. For Erza, it was always cake.

Still, Lucy only sighed some before asking, "You had a good day though, huh, Happy?"

From around a turkey leg he'd found in the picnic basket, he nodded his head up at the celestial mage. Not only had Natsu and Lisanna, apparently, had plans all along, but Natsu also did something super sweet for her! They were probably going to have the best date ever, also. Because they loved each other. What was better than that?

"Yep," the Exceed said with a grin. "Plus, we got to hang out all day together. What could be better than that? Me and you, paling around the town."

"Uh, you just told Natsu earlier that you would never hang out with me."

"Jeez, Lucy, sensitive much? Can't take a joke?" The cat tsked. "Must by why you'll never get a man."

"I'm not sensitive, cat! And I don't see you sharing this picnic with anyone either!"

"Other than unfortunately," Juvia sighed as, reluctantly, she released Gray so he too could raid the basket, "the two of us."

[justanoutlawfic]

The Forgotten One: Chapt. 1 [The Coronation]

Summary: When Roland crashes Regina's coronation, it leads to a huge rift in the Mills Family. Robin is determined to get her newly found brother to her wedding, while Regina wants to make up for her mistakes.

PLEASE READ THIS AUTHOR'S NOTE! I know it's long, but it'll help you decide if this is a fic for you or not.

This whole thing was prompted by @queen-of-the-merry-men, who also helped me with some of the dialogue. It's going to be multiple chapters, but not sure how long quite yet.

I want to preface this with some warnings. This is post-series finale. Literally takes place after Regina's final line. This will discuss Robin's rape, but not in detail. I love Regina, she is my favorite character and if you know me, you know this. Zelena began to grow on me in S7. That being said...there will be times in this fic (starting off in this chapter), that their past actions are called into question and are called out on not being the best. This is especially true for Zelena. This isn't a bashing fic of her, but it says basic truths about what she's done. Same with Regina. If that's a problem, then I wouldn't recommend this fic to you because I don't want to see hate comments about Roland or Robin doing that.

This verse is also going to be pretty much family relationships only, mainly Regina/Roland, Roland/Robin, Regina/Robin, Regina/Zelena and Robin/Zelena. The only romantic ships will be background, canon ones such as Robin/Alice and Henry/Ella. If romance is more your speed, I have other fics for that. Of course, past Outlaw Queen will be mentioned and Dark Outlaw Queen is discussed a bit as well. Robin Sr. will be discussed in a positive light, so, if that bothers you, this isn't your fic. Overall, this is a story of the Hood-Mills family healing.

That being said, if you're still with me, sit back, relax and enjoy...

Also on AO3

“In the end, we can get past it all with hope.”

 Regina smiled as the crowd cheered, looking around at all of them. Snow and David still stood proudly behind her, her sons, Emma, Ella, Lucy, Hope and Hook on one side of the front row with Zelena, Alice, Robin and Nook on the other. She had once told Henry that one day he’d have more family than he knew what to do with, but it turned out that applied to her too. She never imagined she’d be crowned the Good Queen, let alone be overwhelmingly voted as one.

 The cheers and applause died down, but it was followed by a slow, near sarcastic clap. She tilted her head and tried to figure out where it was coming from. A man that looked to be in his mid to late 20s appeared from the crowd. He had longer brown hair and some thick facial hair. It took her a minute to realize who it was, until she saw the dimples. He wasn’t smiling, but they were still evident.

 “Roland,” she whispered.

“I’m surprised you recognize me, Regina,” he said. His voice had dropped over the past couple of decades, which surprised her more than it should’ve. “I see that you’re now the queen of the people. You saved the day once again.”

“I didn’t know you were coming. You look so grown up.” She stepped down from the platform once more and held her dress as she walked closer to him. Regina was close to hugging him, when she realized that he reeked of whiskey. “You’re drunk.”

“Astute observation.”

 Roland pushed past her and looked over at the right side of the room. Robin stood there, looking shocked. Regina realized that the two siblings hadn’t seen each other since the day Zelena and David helped the Merry Men back to Sherwood Forest.

 “My baby sister,” he slurred. “You’ve gotten a lot bigger since I last saw you.”

“You’re Roland,” Robin said, softly. Alice squeezed her hand, smiling a bit at the unconventional reunion.

“I’m surprised you know who I am. I thought everyone had forgotten about me.”

“This is hardly the place,” Zelena cut in, giving him a harsh look. “This is Regina’s big day.”

“Oh, so now you care about Regina?” Roland asked. “Because it sure didn’t seem that way when I was a kid. You disguised yourself as my mom, to hurt her and my father. Heck, if you hadn’t done that then your daughter wouldn’t even exist.”

 Zelena’s eyes widened and Robin gasped, looking over at her mom. Regina suddenly felt as though the castle walls were crowding in around her. She and Zelena had made a decision a long time ago. They would never tell Robin how she was conceived. It wasn’t to protect Zelena, but more so, so Robin could never be hurt by it. To make things less awkward, Robin never knew that her aunt and father had ever been in love. Over 20 years of secrets were suddenly spilling out within minutes, from a clearly very hurt man.

 “Is this true?” Robin asked her mother.

“Sweetheart…”

“I asked you if it was true!”

“Everyone, maybe we should stop this,” Snow stepped in, ever the diplomat. “We can start the reception and you all can step outside…”

“Snow White, always trying to take control of things,” Roland interrupted. “You couldn’t even take control of the town. I remember when you were mayor while Regina pouted over my father. You could barely hold it together.”

“Leave her alone,” Henry said, moving from beside his wife to stand by his mom. “You’re hurt and upset, but you have no right to do this. You’re clearly hurt over Mom and Zelena, but they don’t deserve this.”

“Don’t you get it, Henry?” He looked between the two sisters. “This is exactly what they deserve.” He turned to face the crowd. “Yes, you have your Good Queen. She protected everyone, except the one person she promised to.” Roland let out a bitter laugh. “I suppose she never really changed.”

 Roland’s eyes locked on Regina’s which were filled with tears once more. This time, however, they weren’t ones of joy. She reached out to cup his cheek, but he pulled away from her.

 “Your family ruined my life,” he said. “I just thought it was time you knew it.”

 He pushed past Regina, purposefully bumping her shoulder as he did. The heavy oak doors slammed shut behind him. The silence didn’t last long and soon, everyone was talking at once. Ry was asking Emma about what all of that was about. Snow and David were trying to talk to Regina, but she wasn’t saying a word, she was just staring at the doors. Henry told both of them to give her some space, that she didn’t need coddling right at that moment and Ella was trying to round up Lucy and the other kids to lead them out. Some murmured about how grown Roland had gotten, while others admitted they had long forgotten all about him.

 The biggest blowout was happening between Zelena and Robin. The younger Mills woman kept throwing her arms up in the air, as she demanded answers from her mother. Zelena looked like she was on the verge of tears herself. Alice had a hand on her fiancé’s back, while Killian had taken several steps away from Zelena, clearly remembering his own trauma surrounding his rape.

 “Is what he said true?” Robin demanded. “Just answer the damn question, Mother!”

“I…I was a different person back then,” Zelena stammered.

“That’s not what I asked. Is it true? Did you rape my father?”

“I wouldn’t call it rape…”

“Let’s look at it this way. When he slept with you, did he think you were Marian?”

Zelena bit down on her lip. “Yes.”

“Then that’s rape! I can’t believe this!”

“I never wanted you to know…”

“I can imagine why. You didn’t want to admit to what you had done!”

“That’s not it.”

“Yes it is. God.” Robin turned to her aunt, who hadn’t said a word during this entire thing. “I’m sorry Aunt Regina, but I have to go.”

 She stormed out the exit, Alice chasing out after her. Killian spared Zelena one last look of disgust before following out after his daughter. Zelena turned to Regina, now sobbing. She put a hand on her arm and finally, Regina broke out of her trance.

 “Regina,” she choked out. “What am I going to do? Robin is never going to forgive me!”

“That’s not the issue right now,” Regina said, looking up at her. “What the hell happened to Roland?”