#they are my special boys and i've never heard a music project like this before and i want others to have that same joy

[elkkiel]

While I'm thinking about it, how would you go about introducing someone to Sleep Token? What songs, interviews, lore discussions, etc work as good beginner reading/listening material?

Here's what I'm thinking song-wise:

(in order of what may be best received by someone that's at least listened to some metalcore before):

Alkaline

The Summoning (obviously lol, it's just long for an intro song compared to Alkaline )

Ascensionism

Hypnosis

The Offering

Dark Signs

Telomeres (if that's the vibe you think they'd connect with)

There's a few things I try to consider, especially with people whose tastes I'm unsure about—mostly in terms of sound and style.

Vessel has a gorgeous voice, but it is quite unique compared to a lot of other contemporary singers. Tbh it took me a few listens to finally "get it" (I think that's where some people might hear the peanut butter on the roof of his mouth thing. Especially b/c, for example, after my first ever 30-sec-then-skip listen of The Summoning, I saw a YT short with that joke and it gave me a somewhat neg impression of trying to listen again after that).

That, coupled with the genre-bending aspects of their sound (they're not fully prog metal or metalcore or djent or pop or [other]), I'm just not super sure of how to actually introduce a new listener, without having them write the whole band off because THAT listen of THAT song didn't vibe with them.

Idk, if you read this, feel free to share your thoughts. I really love these guys and they have something so so special going on, I just want to make sure I'm doing them justice when sharing their music.

[roo-bastmoon]

Roo is a bit of a party pooper here. (But Roo does not poop at parties.)

A GENTLE WORD OF CAUTION REGARDING STREAMS, ALBUMS, and SYMBOLS

First and foremost, streams are dropping like hell this weekend. So please run playlists on all possible devices (I'll put links at the bottom of this post). PLEASE DO NOT NEGLECT STREAMING as we are in the red.

Of course we need to focus on Angel right now. However, Like Crazy, Face, and Jimin himself are predicted to be nominated for song, best album, and artist of the year for MAMA. Actual trophy awards at a broadcast year-end award show! But the digital points are low for song and album, so we need to work on CONSISTENT global streaming for Jimin in addition to all our boys every single day!

Second, a Naver article stated that Jungkook's album will drop on July 14th. Another Naver article reported on that article, and then a bunch did. We've been here before, where the media ran with a bit of gossip and then got clowned later.

What the company SAID was:

“The schedule is yet to be finalized, and is to be announced subsequently.”

Now, JJK1 could very well drop in five weeks. But I've heard no chatter anywhere about final touches on post-production, album design, distribution plans, or promotional schedules... they don't just put the songs in a can and then press a button and it's out in the world.

Plus, a year ago, there was a strategic plan shared with investors that mentioned Q4 for him (though that was more of a road map than a firm commitment).

JK did say during last year's Festa that he'd go after Yoongi. So maybe it will happen as soon as July? That would be wonderful, because it seems like Jimin still has music to release, so maybe they can be supportive of each other's projects this summer and fall, before enlisting (hopefully at the same time!).

But I hope JJK1 doesn't go up against the Barbie soundtrack on July 21st because that has so many heavy hitters, my lord, we never catch a break!!

I will just say that JJK1 is one of the most anticipated global releases of the year. It will require a lot of logistics and likely heavy in-person promotion. So I just want to caution folks in getting too emotionally invested about a mid-July date.

It could be. It could not be. Best to wait for an official announcement, which will likely come at least 3 weeks before drop. So let's keep our ears perked after Yoongi's last concert on June 25th...

Third, some folks are reading into a lot of symbols these days. Which is fine! But I'd like to ask that we just be careful with it.

Personally, I only subscribe to a number theory if the timestamp or the numbers that the members write/say are in exact order and we can draw a straight line between that and a known special date. I do not use addition, subtraction, division, or re-ordering of numerals to get to a desired outcome. I don't know K-ARMY who do that either. But I'm not out to crap all over people who do!! It's fun to theorize!

For me, it's fun to look at number stuff the same way it's fun to read tarot cards. We tinker, we point out possible coincidences or patterns... Just please, I gently ask you to keep to theory and not fact. The last thing we want is for someone to cherrypick a screenshot and drag things out of context.

Speaking of symbols and theories becoming fanon facts...

Jimin posted old photos of him looking ADORBS with a tangerine today (which Tae helpfully commented to make sure we'd all understand it was a tangerine, lol). So Yoominners rejoice:

While Jimin's social media DOES feature plenty of Yoongi (D-Day, Suchwita, possibly photos where Yoongi's shoes appear in a mirror) and TikTok dances, plus he did come on live (FROM HIS HOME!!) on Yoongi's birthday... Jimin's social media also has Hobi, Jin, Joon, and Tae on it! But predominantly it's Yoongi who shows up on Jimin's Insta. We haven't had any Jungkook on his Insta since White Day of last year--interactions with Jungkook seem reserved for WeVerse lives and posts.

Make of it what you will.

To my mind, it does seem like certain "soft" subunits were paired up since Festa of last year. (Hobi spread love to everyone, then there was Namjin's DeliciouSeoul commercials, Yoonmin's Busan [??] tourism commercial, Taekook as yet to be determined but it feels like it's coming...) So the lines between work posts and relationship posts also begin to blur a bit for fans, especially since the members all adore each other anyway...

Whether there was a strategic plan in place or not for how what I perceive as soft subunits promote, I don't know.

But meanwhile, certain other "promotions" seem to organically play out: JK sings all his members' new feature songs, but hypes Jimin's the most (on random lives he does without permission). JK came on live often, but a pattern is emerging where that typically happens when Jimin is away or busy. JK hangs out with Tae and went to the Harry concert with other members, but calls for Jimin to join him most often.

Again, it's fun to speculate what this might mean.

Meanwhile, today Joon posted a gym whiteboard workout in which the initials JK and JM appear, and so folks assume minimonikook are getting swole together. I like the mental image, not gonna lie.

And hey y'all! Maybe Jimin is summoning Min Yoongi with a tangerine. Maybe Jikook did hit the gym with Joon and draw on his whiteboard. Maybe Tae did grab a bite with JK in the one day before he dyed his hair and allegedly went to Spain to film a music video. It's fun to speculate. It's what fans do.

I just want to caution folks from stating things the members do or feel as if they know for sure.

Those are cult tactics and, for me at least, the lines are starting to blur a little bit these days between Jikookers and Taekookers... in that folks are more than happy to assume that secret private couple getaway trips are pure fact, that words mumbled off screen say exactly what we want to hear, that the company has a clear-cut nefarious plot to hype specific members and bury others... and that there are hints of Signs and Wonders everywhere.

And maybe these things are shaking out and really happening. But we don't know. So I feel more comfy discussing this sort of thing when people include "I think" or "it seems" or "maybe" as we talk about it--I like to have a little wiggle room--because when I see my fellow Jikookers start to "witness truth," it comes off far more like a religion than a supportive fanbase.

I say this gently because at some point we've all done it, especially when we are in a hurry and speaking casually or joking around. I'm not judging, just cautioning.

Words matter. Believe me, I learned my lesson, and words matter.

And when it comes to Jikook, we don't really need to grasp at straws. While our boys are a lot more private these days, they still have exclusive, intimate tones and touches and interactions that we glimpse.

And the circle around them still heavily imply they come as a package deal. For example...

Fourth and finally, we got this awesome interview with Polyc, who had some wonderful things to say about Jimin and the members:

And it was sort of implied that Jimin spoke many times with Polyc about the membership tattoo over the five months that JK was getting his arm retouched--maybe while they were in the shop together? Maybe while his moon tattoos were getting done? Or maybe not.

But Polyc basically said Jimin was the one to usher each member through the process. (Which is a bit of a different impression than I got last Festa when Tae said "I will go with Jungkookie!" because back then it implied it was JK who acted as the conduit between the members and his tattoo artist, but here's some strong evidence that it was Jimin all along who bounced around ideas and made it happen and comforted each member's anxiety. Interesting.)

It's almost as though Jimin and Jungkook are the soft subunit that never gets official promo but keeps bubbling up everywhere.

Okay so that was my long-winded way of pooping on the party just a little, but hopefully not enough to dampen anyone's spirits!! No one is doing fandom "wrong" -- I just want to keep our hearts and intention pure, and our actions honorable, that's all.

In conclusion: speculation is fun! But assuming is not.

And now? Please STREAM!!

AND PRE-ORDER TAKE TWO WHILE YOU'RE AT IT!!

I love you all so very much! Be well, puppykitties!

Love, Roo

[taylor-on-your-dash]

11 Questions With Taylor Swift (The Boot - Nov 5, 2007)

At the ripe old age of 17, Taylor Swift is already in the country music history books. She's the only female solo artist ever to write or co-write every song on a platinum-selling debut album. And though the songwriting prodigy is hard at work on her second album, she isn't quite ready to put the CD that's earned her numerous accolades to rest. Swift recently sat down with us to talk about beefing up her eponymous debut. And in true teenage fashion, we also gab about boys, high school drama and how she helped her buddy Kellie Pickler through a tough breakup.

Tell us what's included on the new 'Taylor Swift [Deluxe Edition]' project.

The album has been out for a year, but it's too early to put out the second studio album. But we wanted to give [the fans] more music. So this was an opportunity to put out three new songs and a bunch of exclusive content. I actually edited a home movie on my laptop, and it's on there as a special feature. There's my first phone conversation with Tim McGraw, all my music videos and a bunch of concert footage. The [new] songs are demos that I wrote when I was 15, trying to get a record deal. (x)

Is there a true story behind your current single, 'Our Song'?

I wrote this song in my freshman year of high school for my ninth grade talent show. I was sitting there thinking, "I've gotta write an upbeat song that's gonna relate to everyone." And at that time, I was dating a guy and we didn't have a song. So I wrote us one, and I played it at the show. Months later, people would come up to me and say, "I loved that song that you played." And then they'd start singing lines of it back to me. They'd only heard it once, so I thought, "There must be something here!" (x)

You've toured with some notorious pranksters, namely Rascal Flatts and Brad Paisley. What's the funniest joke that's been played on you?

Brad Paisley hasn't pranked me yet ... because he's afraid of me. [laughs] But Rascal Flatts had all of their crew take fold-out chairs and just sit on the stage during my performance. So there were eight guys, just sitting on stage reading the newspaper. And I'm playing right next to their faces, kinda hamming it up, trying to intimidate them. And I look in the newspapers they're reading, and there are Chippendales models in the newspapers! [laughs] (x)

We hear you wrote a song with Kellie Pickler for her next album.

Kellie came on my bus this summer and was all upset about her ex-boyfriend. She was like, "I just want to be over this!" And she gets up on stage now and tells everyone all about it. She's like [imitating Kellie], "He went out and got some other girl pregnant!" [laughs] And I'm like, "OK, if you want to tell everyone your personal stuff, but there's no better way to get over something than to write it all down." So we went into the back bedroom of my tour bus and wrote this awesome song. It's about how, for the rest of his life, he's going to regret cheating on her. And she's said to me since then, "You know what, I didn't think there was anything I could do to really get past that. But writing that song gave me complete closure." (x)

Is there anything you miss about high school?

I don't think there's really anything I miss, to be honest. There's a lot less drama when you're touring the country on a major tour. And I've actually been to prom before ... twice. So I don't want anyone to feel bad for me. It was really great that I got to experience those first two years of high school, and I'll never forget that. I learned a lot. But I feel like I've had the best senior year ever. (x)

How would you say your young age has helped you and how has it hurt you in the music business?

I think my age has helped me, because I can write about things I'm going through and girls my age can automatically relate. And I think [my age] has hurt me, because in the beginning, people were like, "Teenagers and country music? No way!" And I had interviewers who were dead-set on trying to get me to feel bad about how old I was. But you have to stand by who you are. I am 17-year-old girl, and I'm not ashamed of that. Age should not limit what you can accomplish. (x)

Is there a special guy in your life?

I'm completely single! I think that love is something that hits you when you're not looking for it. So I've been actively not looking for it for like two years. [laughs] I'm always the third wheel on my friends' dates. I have a bunch of best friends who never go more than a month without having a boyfriend. And I think that's kinda rubbed off on me, because I've seen the stuff they've gone through over the past two years. And I'm just like, "I'm gonna pursue my career instead." (x)

Garth Brooks has said that you are one of his daughters' favorite singers. Is that surreal to hear that a living legend is familiar with your music?

He is a living legend! And if you asked me who my hero is, I'd say Garth Brooks. I've met Garth's girls, they're wonderful. They came out to one of my shows. And it's just so unbelievable to see someone like Garth Brooks have kids who like my music. I'm like, "Are you kidding me? Your dad is Garth Brooks!" It's the coolest feeling ever. (x)

Do you have any other famous fans?

I was at the ACM Awards, and Emma Roberts came up to me backstage. She was like, "I just have to let you know, I'm announcing you tonight. And I'm a really big fan." And I was like, "Oh my gosh, I'm going to see your movie this weekend!" It was really cool. She's a sweetheart. (x)

Unlike a lot of other teen celebrities, you have managed to keep out of trouble. How do you resist temptation?

You have to surround yourself with good people who will tell you the things that maybe you don't want to hear -- the things you need to know to not do. I feel like I have an obligation to be responsible. I have a million people who went out and bought my album. Who knows how many of them were young girls? And I always think about the ten year old girl in the front row at my concert before I make a decision. "What would she think if she saw me do this? Would this affect her choices?" (x)

Out of all the milestones you've hit this year -- platinum sales, 8 weeks at No.1 on the country album charts, a CMT award, a CMA nomination -- what's been the highlight of your career?

The highlight of my career so far has been winning the CMT Breakthrough Video of the Year award. It's a fan-voted awards show, so I don't see any greater honor than winning an award that was voted on by fans. It was for my first video that I ever put out ['Tim McGraw'], and I'll never forget the feeling of just running ... bolting up to that stage. It was just the most amazing feeling. (x)

[holocene-sims]

15 oc questions!

i was tagged by @stargazer-sims - thank you so much!! ❤️ i've never done one of these tags in a character's voice, so it's fun to get extra practice writing as them 😊

i'll tag:

@dandylion240 @bl-sims-anime @idyllicephemera @elderwisp @nectar-cellar @minty-plumbob @crazykissim @mangosimoothie & anyone else who wants to do it!

ANYWAY i'm doing this for grant! idc if y'all have heard enough about grant, the honor goes to him

are you named after anybody?

my actual legal first name is joseph, which is my grandfather's name! so, uh, somehow yes, i am named after somebody! but i'm 99.9% sure it was out of laziness and not out of love. well, no, i'm 100% sure of that. it's not like my mom has ever respected her parents...but that's a whole different thing, we're not going there.

when was the last time you cried?

i'm a crybaby, come on! i'm known for being very emotional. i mean, sad animal commercials make me weepy. externally weepy. like tears running down my cheeks weepy. but the actual last time i cried? hmm, maybe like a week ago? i don't know if i could tell you why, though. i probably blocked it out of my memory! i'm great at that.

do you have kids?

do, uh, do cats count? because i do have a cat who i love and put sweaters on. sweaters! and he loves it.

do you use sarcasm?

it depends? sarcasm usually feels mean-spirited to me, so i'm not super into it, but then again, that's half the conversations i have with my family. i know in that case, though, that it's all bullshit humor and not serious. anyway, i think what i'm saying in a roundabout way is it depends a lot on context and audience. i don't want to hurt anyone's feelings or be a dick. i like being nice.

what's the first thing you notice about people?

okay, listen, in the most normal and not at all weird way possible, people's hairlines are always what i see first. i've been the first witness to so, so many fake blondes accidentally showing their dark roots or to dudes going bald. i'm sorry! i'm just freakishly tall! i can't not look down at all your heads unless i'm kneeling down on the ground. i'm not trying to spy on or judge the state of your hair, i promise.

what's your eye color?

brown! justice for brown eyes, the best eye color. i love being able to go out in the sun and not have my eyeballs bleached by the light. also, there's really not that many brown eyes in my family, so that's kind of fun. i'm a special boy.

scary movies or happy endings?

why not both? i love a good blair witch project, final destination moment. i also love a nice mushy gushy romantic movie with a happy ending. hell, i'd watch both in the same evening. start off with a fucked up horror movie and end it with pride and prejudice. sounds like a perfect night to me.

any special talents?

probably not anything relevant? i mean, i've played skyrim on survival mode without dying before. oh, and i guess back when i was still playing hockey, uh, a decade ago, i could score with the michigan goal pretty easily, which isn't all that common. in high school, i got my school the state championship win with that skill. but meh, i don't know how many people in the world know enough about hockey to care about that.

where were you born?

michigan! the part everyone forgets about, aka the upper peninsula, aka diet canada.

what are your hobbies?

i like to think i'm a well rounded person. i enjoy the super basic stuff like listening to music, but i'm also into into video games and tabletop RPGs like d&d. cooking and baking are fun for me, too. i did get into art semi-recently as well. i kind of had to have something i could do while laying down, like, 24/7 after i had spinal surgery.

if you're ever bored, just go fuck up your spine. you'll have SO much time on your hands to get new hobbies. actually, don't. please don't. i've been suffering for years and will continue to. i'm dying. don't be me. pretty please. pinky promise.

oh, duh, i also forgot that i'm into astronomy and um, planes. look, i'm not a car guy, i'm a plane guy. that's more fun, right?

have you any pets?

he's a cat named turtle, so, like, you know, the best cat in the world. sometimes i think about getting him a cat friend to hang out with but then i worry he'd get jealous, so i haven't done it. who am i to say whether or not he wants to live with a friend? or a sibling? being alone is so valid. i respect that.

what sports do you play/have you played?

oh, well, like i said, i played hockey for a really long time, like from, hmm, i think kindergarten and on! i even got a scholarship in college to play hockey. i'm glad to be done, though. some things ruined it for me. long story. but these days, uhh, i don't play any real sports anymore. i like hiking, you know, and i do work out at least every other day because it makes me feel better in a lot of ways, but that's kind of it. my sports days are over. i don't even skateboard anymore and i used to do that all the time.

how tall are you?

like 6'7" - though, i am rounding down a little bit. yes, down. not up. also, don't ask me how i ended up that tall. i have exactly one relative who is also tall. hi, chelsea! anyway, i am an accident or one hell of a joke. i'm laughing, i swear. it's very funny.

favorite subject in school?

i was overall a good student because i studied pretty hard but i was for sure a science and math kid. i loved physics in high school. and then in college, i got some way more fun science and math classes. just so you know, i am really holding back right now from rambling like a total nerd loser about my college classes...

but i mean, if you wanna learn about, i don't know, quantum mechanics or flight control systems, hit me up.

dream job?

that's such an easy question! when i was really, really young, i wanted to be a weather man, but then i changed my mind and wanted to be a pilot because, i don't know, i hit that time in every child's life where they have to become obsessed with a form of transportation. but then i never let that obsession go. my parents wanted me to be a doctor the whole time, though, but eww, no, i'm good. anyway, the dream of flying planes never died and somehow it worked out. now if i could just, uh, you know, go back to that job soon, that'd be sick.

[thestraystarproject]

status report production wise...

so, about the latest update. you may have noticed i've been able to put out two updates in a single week, which is insane considering the short amount of time i've got to work on these, but a big help has been my recent decision to switch to a much quicker and more consistent method of updates.

you see, the stray star went through a few revisions on what type of media its updates would mainly consist of. first it was going to be mostly fully animated video game cutscene-esque videos with original music and sound effects. then, it was scaled down to special occasions for videos, but fully colored and self contained comic issues for each update.

finally, we have reached the current compromise, which is a few exceptions made to make fully animated videos when it might seem cool to do so, as well as some other types of media once in a while, but mostly sprite comics.

there are a few reasons for this, the first being as you can see being that it gets the job done much quicker. i can simply draw up a static background, get a few character sprites done for each fitting pose and expression, and set that bad boy rolling with the dialogue necessary.

the stray star is a big, BIG story, and i know it may not look it at the moment, but if i'm going to tell this whole story before i, oh, i don't know, end up doing this for like four years, i need to cut down on how much time it costs me to get these going. i want to at LEAST have arc 1 finished by the start of next year, and that's already a big ask.

but with this format of updates, things get significantly easier. therefore, you may see comics popping up significantly less. as for animated videos, there are some in store, but again, they will only show up when fitting.

that being said, one of such situations is the next video! i have the music ready for it and i'd hate to see that funky little baby go to waste. it's quite different from the demo i put up here a few weeks ago, so i wonder if people will get pleasantly surprised from hearing the newer version :3 i sure hope so!

so that's going to take a little longer. drawing all the sprites, looping animations, effects, arranging the video, all of that requires a lot of time to get going, so i'll do my best to work on that and get it to you as early as possible! we will see how long this takes...

there is one more thing before i wrap up this update. i think if you frequent the site enough you may or may not have noticed tumblr is kind of. uh. going through a rough patch. i'm currently hatching a plan to, if possible, move the stray star to its own neocities domain, however i have never made such a website before, and i'm famously bad at coding (believe me, if i could make tss a video game, i would, but i really and truly suck shit at this, plus it would require a lot more asset building than i already am doing). i have heard there are some ways to set up domains easily via using handy assets to set up a premade code n then customize, so i'll try that this weekend... and we shall see.

all this to say, as i work on the next update which will take longer because of its complexity, expect me to also try and set up a website for tss. i probably won't shut down this blog and will keep updating on it and will keep it up as an archive even if i decide to stop using tumblr, but if i can help it, i'll try to move most of tss there and spruce it up as a definitive gateway for the project.

well, that's it, see you all next update! (or status report... we will see)

[jaedreaminn]

Ignoring Him

Parings: Taeyong x Reader

Characters: Taeyong. «mentioned» Mark, Jeno.

Theme: heartbreak, open ending, sad, sweet but sad, slight betrayal, manipulation.

Word count: 898 words

~~~

You watched as your younger sibling got their heart broken by Lee Jeno and sighed. You warned them that this would happen but they didn't listen. You couldn't blame them either for not listening as you knew first hand how disarming the Lee brother's could be. You should know since you were still heart broken over Lee Taeyong, the eldest among the Lee brother's.

You remembered his sweet words and low voice, his boba eyes that could look so intense when he was angry, his smile that would light up your world. He had promised you a real relationship but that was an obvious lie.

It started of easy, it always did. Hand holding, kisses in the middle of the field or in the shadows of the hallways, having lunch together, walking eachother to class. Your relationship seemed so simple and pure.

But he was a mad man, he held your hand a bit too tight, glaring at anybody who would look your way, he got overly possesive of you around his own friends. But the moment you told him you didn't like the vibe of one of the people he was very obviously flirting with he would get so defensive and fight with you, ignoring you for days.

You remembered one day when you were being ignored by him, no longer as effected as you were the first couple of times he had ignored you, eating your lunch peacefully, that your project partner Kim Jungwoo sat infront of you startling you. You smiled at the boy who was here to discuss your project and spent the next five minutes talking to him about your class. The reason you spent only five minutes talking to him was because Taeyong had walked upto your table, glared at Jungwoo and dragged you away to yell at you for talking to another boy after having ignored you for three days.

Looking back you couldn't quite remember why you didn't break up with him sooner.

Oh wait you remember why,

Taeyongs sweet like honey words. The way he would apologise blaming it on something that steamed from his childhood and you would sympathize everytime without realising that his apologies meant nothing if he was never going to change. He would tell you of how much he loves you in such poetic ways and you would feel special, you would feel loved, you would feel wanted, you would feel drugged.

It became an addiction, trying to get Taeyongs attention. It's like you had his full attention until he got bored and you had to try such self destructive ways to get him to look at you again with that loving gaze that you craved.

And maybe he did love you but loving him was killing you, killing the person you were and you just became the person who loves Taeyong.

It was two days before your one year anniversary that you had your wake up call. Taeyong was going to travel to the states for some music workshop on the day of your anniversary so you decided to surprise him today. He was in his room with a few of his friends, the door slightly ajar. You were about to enter when you heard.

"Yeah I'm so sick of y/n" and you froze.

"Y/n believes everything I say as if it's some holy book, like stop being so clingy and annoying. Doesn't even let me live in peace." you heard him complaint along with the giggles of his 'friends'.

"Why do you still keep that clingy bitch around" an obnoxious voice asked with an ugly laugh.

"Y/n's just a weird constant to keep around you know? Like once I'm done fooling around I can go and fool around with y/n who I don't have to try so hard to please, I've basically got that annoying bitch wrapped around my finger. Like they'll do anything for me." Taeyong laughed as tears made its way to your eyes but you weren't going to cry. Not over that useless man.

You rushed out of the house bumping into Mark who gave you a look of sympathy.

And the very next day you broke up with him over text, heart shattered. He didn't seem to like that as he came banging on your door demanding an explanation but you just couldn't look at him or talk to him because you know that the same boy who's words were sharper than a blade could talk to you with honey in his tone and trap you in his clutches again.

The banging on your door only lasted a day as he would then leave the next day for a month but the heart break and the emptiness lasted forever. The trust issues lasted forever. The fear of love lasted forever.

You sighed at the memory, watching your younger sibling cry as you made your way to your boring desk job. You were so heartbroken that you even lost your passion for things and it was to late to try something new now, because you hated new. And loved comfort and familiarity.

"Good morning y/n" you ignored the voice of the man greeting you from the cubical opposite you and you sat down and got on to your work, not in the mood to talk to anyone.

Opposite you Taeyong sighed, you were still ignoring him.

~~~

Lee brothers'- A mini series

Previous part: Lee Jeno

Next part: Lee Mark

[chiliiscereal]

Here’s the link for the full version ^ ——

Sister dear (Steve x sister reader)

(This is preseason one to show you what the background is on the whole story)

(let me know if you think this should be published as a separate book!)

You and Steve had a rocky start to being siblings.

You were born four years apart.

He was born in a time when your parents actually loved each other. They had time for birthdays and family weekends together. They went out to the park on saturdays. They were a picture perfect family.

It just so happened that when you were born, your father stopped being quite so faithful to your mother. When you came into the world, your father was in Europe on a business trip. And he wasn't only up to business.

Little Steve had adored you at first. He always wanted to hold you or play with you.

But then their parents no longer had time for him.

It was always work... and taking care of you.

It slowly changed over the years to only work, as your mother could no longer trust your father. Steve was left to watch you for weeks on end. He was good at it at first. He used to watch you carefully. He used to make sure you were happy and well...

Until he could no longer see his friends.

He was ten. You were five.

He began to leave you at home. At first it was only for thirty minutes while he went to the park. Then it was an hour every day during his elementary school days while he went to the movies.

You were seven when you began cooking your own meals.

You TRIED talking to him. You really did.

You tried catching his sleeve whenever he breezed past. You tried showing him crafts you made. You tried playing music you thought he might like.

That ended with twelve year old Steve pushing you away.

It ended with your works of art thrown in the trash.

Your music cassettes were thrown onto the road.

Your mother made sure both of you knew to never walk into the middle of the road, so you could only cry as some unknowing stranger destroyed your wonderful music. The music you had saved up all your allowance for. The music that you had thought your older brother would like. The music that you thought might bring you two together.

When your mother and father returned, you tattled.

Steve was grounded for a whole week.

But he always needed to have the last say. So he sold your boom box and spent all the money on comics. He threw your sketchbook in the quarry water. He shoved you to the floor, saying that if you ever tattled again then you would join your drawing book in the cold water.

You stopped trying to give Steve your attention and love. You no longer wished he would spend more time at home. So you began exploring the town by yourself at the age of nine. You didn't really have friends to hang out with so you would browse through stores.

The arcade was your favorite place.

You loved showing up early on Saturday mornings, before Steve was even awake, and leaving behind a new high score on the dragons lair.

Why?

Because it always riled up a group of boys your age. They had no idea who kept beating them over and over. Every Sunday morning you watched them walk in... only to scream a few seconds later about how someone had beaten their score by ONE point. Again.

You loved having some sort of connection to them. Even if they didn't know it was you. Or even who you were at all. They were a weird little group, strictly sticking with only other A.V club kids. Besides, you hardly ever talked. What would be so special about you?

It also didn't help that your older brother had begun to build himself a reputation. When you were ten, he began to be known as king Steve. You knew he bullied one of the kids (wills) older brother while beginning to flirt with another's (mike's) older sister.

You knew this because your father began forcing Steve to drive you home from school. That was the rule he set when he gave Steve the car.

Every day you trekked to the high school, only to watch Steve hang around Nancy Wheeler and push Johnathan Byers. You would have intervened and told him that you really didn't want to wait twenty minutes (out of sight) for him to be done. But the last time he did that he made you ride the way home in the trunk of his car.

When you were eleven, you started hanging out at Melvald's convenience store in the town square. Your favorite time to go there was at 7:00, because Mrs. Byers would always work the morning shift.

Wills mother was really quite wonderful. Every time you walked in she greeted you with a smile and lowered her magazine.

——-

"Whatcha lookin for today, kiddo?" She smiled softly, leaning on the counter to watch you browse.

"Any new cassette tapes." You shrugged, fingering each music case that caught your eye. "Do you have any Clash? I... lost mine." You didn't lose it. Steve broke it when he heard you mutter about how much you hated Tommy H.

"Yeah, we got a new box of cassettes delivered this morning." She hopped up and waved for you to follow her to the back room. "I miiiight have snagged a Clash cassette for you when I saw it." She grinned as she held the door open for the young girl.

"You didn't need to buy anything for me!" You gasped. You knew that the Byers needed all the money they could get. "Can I pay you back?" You immediately began digging through your pockets for spare change.

She placed a guiding hand on your back as you both entered, pulling you away from your search. "Oh no it's fine! It's the least I can do for my most frequent visitor."

She plucked the music case off the shelf and handed it to you. "You go to Hawkins elementary, right? You should talk to my son. Will. He also loves the Clash."

You turned red and clutched the cassette. "I've...seen him around before. I don't know how to talk to him."

"Oh it's easy!" She grabbed the spare paper and crayons you always used when you visited. "You just need to find common ground. For example," she pulled up a stool beside her for you to sit at, "you both like to draw!"

You placed down the paper and got working on your art. "Will it make a difference if I draw cartoons and he draws realistic? What if the difference is too big for him to want to talk to me?"

"It'll give you more to talk about!"

——

So began your quest to pursue friendship.

You attempted to speak to Will and his friends in the hall.

They were talking too loud about their latest campaign to hear you.

You tried asking to sit by them at lunch.

They were too busy launching potato's at the ceiling to notice.

Right when you almost gave up... Will and you were paired together as partners for a history project.

——-

'Don't mess it up, don't mess it up', you told yourself over and over as you moved to sit by Will. 'Don't be weird. See if he'll talk first. Don't be clingy.'

Wills was equally quiet. He just read through the rubric of the project and stayed silent.

'What can we talk about... what should I say?'

A drawing poking out of wills bag caught your eye. It looked like a wizard casting some sort of spell.

"I like your drawing!" You blurted out, wishing you could just shut up.

Wills jumped, startled. "Yeah... umm.. it's from... uh... it's from our last campaign.." he began fiddling with his thumbs, unsure of what to say to a girl. "Our DnD campaign... I mean."

You nodded along. "I like to draw to! I've never... I've never played DnD before... so I like to draw people."

Will cracked a shy smile. "I'll show you my drawing if you show me one of yours."

You agreed hesitantly.

He took your cartoon and you took his master piece. You desperately wished you could draw like him. Your cartoons looked so simple, as Steve always said.

"You're a cartoonist!" Will smiled, holding the paper out in front of him. It was a caricature of Mrs. Byers. "You must be the girl my mom sees at her job!" His eyes were wide with recognition. "This is so good! I wish I could draw cartoons. But whenever I try... they look like potato's." He laughed.

You flushed a deep red. "I... I'm also the one that beats your scores every Saturday." You admit.

His jaw dropped. "No way. We've been trying to figure out who that was for months! We formed a whole list of people to interrogate!" He ran a hand through his hair.

You giggled. "I can prove it... if you want. Next Saturday I could show you and your friends? At the arcade?"

"Yeah! I'm totally down to hang out at the arcade!"

——

Will had brought you to the A.V club after to ask the rest of the party. You had protested at first. What if they didn't like you? What if they said no? You would look so stupid! You tried to use your brother driving you home as an excuse.

But if you brought Steve up... no. You couldn't start a potential friendship like that.

Will proposed the ideas to everyone excitedly.

It seemed that Lucas had a problem with it immediately.

——-

"Sorry Will, but we can't." Lucas shook his head. "We've got plans."

Your heart dropped.

"Wait," Dustin frowned and turned to his friend. "What plans? I wasn't aware of any plans."

Lucas crossed his arms. "Remember? Our campaign?"

"We don't have a-."

Lucas elbowed him harshly and looked at you. "Can you leave for a second? We need to talk. ALONE."

You nodded and stepped out of the room. "Yeah totally! Just let me know when-."

The door slammed in your face.

You know you shouldn't have but you pressed your ear to the door anyway.

"What's your damage?" Mike Wheeler hissed quietly.

"Don't you know who she is?" Lucas accused.

"No... should we?" Will whispered in confusion.

"That's Y/N Harrington!" Lucas spat out.

"Steve Harrington's little sister." Dustin stated, now understanding.

Mike groaned. "The douche bag my sisters hooked on?"

"Yes! What if she's exactly like him?"

"You mean a total mouth breather? A player? An absolute jackass?"

You sunk to the floor. Of course Steve ruined the only chance you might have of a friendship. How could she think that these kids would look past her family's reputation? No one ever did. Even her teachers expected her to be disruptive and rude.

"Guys." Will intervened. "I talked to her in history."

"What?!"

"Traitor!"

"What about the party?"

Will lowered his voice, causing you to lean a little closer to the door. "She doesn't act like him. She never called me any names. She never told me that I'm a freak. She tried to talk to me about art."

"Steve definitely doesn't appreciate art." Dustin mumbled.

Wills continued. "She's a cartoonist. And I think she might be like us. You know who kept beating our dragon lair record?"

"Who?"

"Please tell me it wasn't Troy."

"Y/N Harrington."

"WHAT?!"

"IT WAS HER?!"

"GIRLS PLAY VIDEO GAMES?!"

[madeofitzits]

In honor of the impending return of Brooklyn 99, here are 99 reasons that...

1. He was precocious enough to know, at 5 years old, that he wanted to change his name (x)

 2. He has a bunch of nicknames: Sandy Amberg, Young Sandwich, etc. but the most endearing one is 'Droidy', his family's name for him (x) 

3. He is still super close friends with people he's known since: Elementary School (Chelsea Peretti) (x)...

4. Junior High/High School (Kiv and Jorm) (x) 

5. … Summer Camp (Irene Neuwirth) (x)

7.  ...and Film School (Chester Tam) (x)

8. Before he met Joanna, he dated other famous ladies but - out of respect - he never discussed it/them (x) 

9. He loves turtles and tortoises. When he was a kid, he had a pet turtle that he named 'Squirt' because the first time he held it, it peed on him. His Mom, Margie, accidentally killed Squirt when Andy was at Summer camp... (x)

10. … Maybe this is why, when shooting 'Popstar', Andy fell hard for Maximus (Conner 4 Real's turtle). He says they "had a good thing going" and that he wanted to adopt him. In the end, he decided against it because there are a bunch of coyotes in his neighborhood and he was worried the little guy wouldn't be safe. (Popstar: DVD Commentary)

11. Speaking of his Mom, despite being a super private person, he appeared on 'Finding your Roots' so that he could help her track down her birth family (x)

12. When he succeeded he cried (although we never got to see it on camera) (x)

13. That's because, like all good boys, he loves his Mama which is why - as part of the same episode - he said "My mom is basically the kindest person I know… and many people would corroborate that" (x)

14. Andy's Sisters, Hannie (Johanna) and Darrow, used to make him wear diapers and put his hair in pigtails until he was 5 years old. He says he didn't mind because he just liked that they were paying attention to him (x)

15. That's why he sees his identity in comedy as being 'America's kid brother'. When he was young, he would annoy his sisters until they laughed and he claims to have been replicating that approach to entertainment ever since

16. Although a bunch of his characters have 'Daddy Issues', Andy definitely doesn't. He's super close with his Papa (Joe) and has said "he's a good man" and "the best Dad in the world" (x) 

17. Joe was Andy's youth soccer coach and in one scene in 'Hot Rod', Joe's favorite photograph can be seen in the background. It shows a very young Andy posing with a soccer ball, after "scoring the winning goal against Mersey" (x)

18. He's been a loyal Golden State Warriors fan since he was a little kid, living in Oakland (then Berkeley) and, in 2010, he correctly predicted that they would "win a Championship in my lifetime" (x) 

19. The proceeds from his Umami Burger ('The Samburger') went to a deafness early detection program in Berkeley. This cause is close to his heart because Margie uses hearing aids and used to work in the special needs program, teaching deaf kids (x)

20. He, Kiv, and Jorm have made multiple donations to their old school district, including $250 000 to its theater program (x)

21. On the subject of The Lonely Island; Andy always goes out of his way to make sure that everyone knows how much he owes to his buddies. For instance, he told Marc Maron, during his WTF appearance, that "I get a lot of credit for what Kiv and Jorm have done" (x)

22. He makes this face when he knows he’s said something naughty…

(Gif credit: @andrewsambags)

23. During his 'Wild Horses' appearance, he said that he can't watch scary movies because they freak him out too much. He told 'Complex' that he's still scared of 'The Shining' (x)...

24. … Similarly, when he was at UC Santa Cruz he worked at the Del Mar movie theater and he had a hard time coping with screenings of 'Species 2' (x)

25. He fell in love with Joanna, the moment he met her, when she greeted him by addressing him as 'Steve the C**t' (x)

 26. He listened to 'Ys', everyday for a year, before he and Joanna started dating (x)

27. He bought the original portrait that was used as the basis of the cover art for 'Ys' and gave it to Joanna as a Christmas present, so that she could hang it in her music room (x)

 28. He loves birds and goes hiking and birding with Joanna (x)

 29. Every new comment he makes about Joanna becomes an instant contender for 'most beautiful thing a person has ever said about their spouse' (x)

30. For example, he readily admits that Jake's iconic heart eyes are the result of him thinking about his amazing wife (x)

31. There are many stories about how incredibly romantic Andy and Joanna's wedding was and Jorm has said that it featured "the most magical vows I've ever heard" (x)

32. The Newsombergs now live in Charlie Chaplin's old house (x)

33. On the Emmys Red Carpet (2015), the year he hosted, they took a momentary break from posing for the world's press to whisper 'I love you' to each other (x)

34. At last year's Vanity Fair party, Andy carried Joanna's purse for her so she could grab a snack (x)

35. He was a semi-permanent fixture in the audience for her recent run of shows for the 'Strings/Keys Incident' tour, even officially confirming his status as the 'President of her Fan Club' (x)

36. He used his Golden Globes monologue to call out the government for framing and murdering the Black Panthers (x)

37. On the Carpet for the Guy's Choice Awards, he called the event "a ridiculous farce", adding that "men already have it so easy - it's insane that there's a show that celebrates them". That makes sense when you consider that he, Kiv and Jorm have made an entire career out of parodying toxic masculinity (x)

38. He once said that only "idiot-ass men" think that women aren't funny (x)

39. He’s been wearing glasses since 7th Grade and he has the most heartbreakingly cute habit of nudging them up his nose, (especially when he wears his Sol Moscot frames) (x)...

40. ... and of rubbing his eyes under them (x)

41. He barely ever wears glasses for roles but he also avoids contacts (because he doesn't like touching his eyeballs) which means he's almost always 'acting blind' (x)

42. He has worn his glasses in character a few times - as 'himself' ('Lady Dynamite'), as 'Paul' ('I Think You Should Leave') and during a very small number of SNL sketches (e.g. during his one appearance in a 'Gilly' with Kristen Wiig) (x) 

43. He can't tolerate glare and when that makes him squint it's a sight that's too cute for words (x)

44. He owns about six outfits and has been rotating them for well over a decade (x) 

45. He barely ever breaks during shooting/while performing, so when he does it's aggressively adorable. (x), (x)

46. He's a grown ass man who persuades people to come with him to the bathroom because if he goes by himself he'll get lonely (x)

47. He didn't announce he was leaving SNL, until after his last appearance, selflessly choosing not to detract from Kirsten Wiig's huge and emotional send-off (x) 

48. He undertook a quest to smell like Lorne Michaels (x) 

49. He's ageing like a fine wine (x)

50. To protect their daughter's privacy, Andy and Joanna never announced that they were expecting. They've never released their little girl's name or date of birth and most news outlets still report that they became parents in August 2017 (even though that's inaccurate) (x)

51. Although he's careful not to talk about his daughter often, sometimes he can't keep from gushing about her. For example, when asked about his first year of fatherhood he said: "It’s been the best thing that’s ever happened to me. Just like a beautiful, incredible dream. It has surpassed every expectation I ever had. It’s definitely been very blissful" (x)

52. After their daughter was born, Andy and Joanna spent the first 40 days at home with her (in a practice known as 'confinement'). He's described it as being "a really special time". (x) 

53. Andy is famously mild-mannered but, when asked about what triggers his 'Dad claws', he admitted that if anyone attempted to touch his daughter, without permission, he'd "probably sock them hard in the face"…

54. ...Characteristically, he went on to add that he hopes that never happens, since he hasn't been in a fight since 6th Grade (x)

55. Cyndi Lauper was his first celebrity crush and he plays her record ('She's so unusual') for his daughter all the time. (x)

56. His is the very definition of a precious laugh (x)...

57. It's made even more wonderful by the way it makes his voice go high-pitched (x)

58.  … and the way it causes his eyebrow to rise involuntarily  

59. It's impossible not to smile at his impression of his Mom (x)

60. And laugh at his impression of John Mulaney (x)

61. He was so convinced he wouldn't win the Golden Globe for Best Actor in a Comedy or Musical, that he didn't prepare a speech. Instead, as he explained to David Letterman, he "just went… and started drinking". The resulting list of improvised 'thank yous' was perfect in every way (x)

62. As producers, Andy, Kiv and Jorm have given life to some amazing projects ('Alone Together', 'Brigsby Bear', 'I Think You Should Leave')...

63. … and gone out of their way to support women in comedy ('Party Over Here', 'PEN15') (x)

64. As well as being a comedy legend, he's a super-talented dramatic actor, who gave the performance of a lifetime in 'Celeste and Jesse Forever' but, after the movie wrapped, and it was time to do press for it, he was straight back to goofing around (x) 

65. His lip bite should be illegal (x)

66. Even though he wears the same vanishingly small number of outfits, over and over, he has a vast collection of the most excellent socks (x)

67. He always gives 'editing notes' during his own interviews (x)

68. He has a super sweet and sincere way of thanking interviewers when they compliment him (x)

69. He adjusts his hoodie constantly (x)

70. The two most perfect Jake laughs in b99 are actually real Andy laughs 'https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=W38A_xuXaeg https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=sVm9nYrTWRQ

71. Virtually everyone who has ever worked with Andy has talked about what a wonderful person he is. This explains why so many of them have been involved with more than one of his projects (x)

72. It's not only his colleagues who talk about what a delight he is (x), (x)

73. This lovestruck fool wore his own wife's merch when he went out to dinner (x)

74. No one else uses the word 'dinky' quite like Andy (x). The same goes for 'snacky' (see point 70)

75. He does this with his tongue (x)

76. He still likes to play soccer but his eyesight is so bad that he has to keep his glasses on for it

77. When he lets his gorgeous floofy hair grow a little it sits perfectly over the arms of his glasses (x)

78. He gifted the world with Jakey's little curl (x)

79. At the James Franco Roast, he couldn't bring himself to be mean to anyone except himself (and Jeff Ross, a little!) (x)

80. In fact, he's always been willing to laugh at himself (x) and he still is (x)

81. He changes b99 scripts to make them more feminist (x)

82. Despite their humble insistence that they just benefited from 'good timing', the reality is that Andy, Kiv and Jorm (along with Chris Parnell) revolutionized digital media, when 'Lazy Sunday' popularized YouTube, increasing its traffic by 85% overnight (x)

83. He once attended the Vanity Fair party because his Mom told him to (x)

84. He has an amazing way of subtly but firmly shutting down inappropriate questions, like when this interviewer suggested that Holt being gay was something that could have been played for laughs https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=idQsYQfkR5o

85. He auditioned for SNL at the same time as Bill Hader. Hader thought he'd blown it because Andy had a bunch of props and Bill had none. In the meantime, Andy thought he'd blown it when he saw Hader and realized 'this guy doesn't need any props' (x) 

86. His bromance with Seth Meyers is one for the ages (x)

87. Every single second of this video is proof of why Andy, Kiv and Jorm deserve the world (x)

88. He once dragged Mulaney up on stage for SNL Goodnights, even though writers weren't allowed to join in (x)

89. He has a hilarious phobia of pooping anywhere except his own bathroom (x) 

90. His beautiful, beautiful, face: His smile (radiant), his eyes (caramel - hella disarming), his ears (adorably asymmetrical), his nose (perfect), His chin (the dimple… *swoon*), his jaw (could cut glass), The 'Sambeard' (another amazing layer of pretty) (x)

91. His body: His butt (x), his thighs, (x) his soft lil tummy (The ‘Sambelly’) (x), his hands. (x), his arms (x), his hips…

(Gif credit: @amystiago /@badpostandy on Twitter)

92. All signs point to the fact that, like Jake, Andy uses his glasses case as a wallet (x) 

93. Jake's "cool-cool-cool-cool-cool-cool" is an irl Andy-ism that the writers worked into b99 scripts. What's even better is that Joanna does it, too (x)

94. He has a really good arm and is low key competitive, which is super hot https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=e32K_nBDy3Q

95. He's one half of the cutest Red Carpet pose of all time (x)

96. He barely ever seems to get mad but if angry Jake is anything to go by, maybe he should... (x)

97. He's a huge nerd, who geeks out over GOT, LOTR, 'Star Wars', 'Alien(s)' and anything relating to time travel (x), (x)

98. He has a gorgeous speaking voice, especially when he’s tired or a little sick. (Bonus points for any time he uses the word ‘correct’. See point 30) (x) 

99. He’s still so committed to his b99 fans and fam, even after all this time and is as excited as the rest of us that...

[selfcareparker]

(lovely anon) i'm so happy to finally be answering this oh my goodness hi gorgeous human being i feel that it has been too long 🥲 SO MUCH HAS HAPPENED SINCE THE LAST TIME I'VE WRITTEN ONE OF THESE HOW HAVE YOU BEEN

to answer the things you have said most recently- i'm so mad that spring break is over bc now i have to go back to life??? like dancing and school and shit that feels so unnessacry 😭 and like i can't just do nothing anymore? i was so used to it and now...... ugh. i STILL haven't played sims (i think it's because ✨depression✨ be hitting sometimes) lol but MWAHAH IM SO HAPPY FOR YOUR NEIGHBOR!AU AND THAT THEY HAD LITTLE BABY LEO!! i feel the name thing.. i just come up with something that sounds nice? i think leo is a nice name, it makes me think about lea michele and the fact that her son's name is Ever Leo but anyway. i don't name my sims after what i want to name my children irl either... idk why though. (i don't know why i'm telling you this but for boy names i love Liam🥰 and if i had twin boys i think i would do Liam and Peter though i am not married to the name Peter.... anywho)

LMAOOO the therpaist coming made me laugh thank you :)) i hope it's helpful? this may be tmi but i've only really had negative thoughts recently and not many healthy outlets so i'm hoping crossing one thing off this sad list will make me feel better :') i think during spring break my anxiety and my depression really spiked? idk, it comes in episodes but yeah THIS GOT REALLY SAD

i think a lot of things when i read your posts but i never say them hahaha so imma say it now: i googled what bon appetit meant ( i also just had to google how to spell it ) but ur right, i feel like bone apple tea makes more sense than bone apple teeth.. the "th" is throwing me off bc how i say it bone appa (like app-a) teet (like you're saying tit but teet lol) so bone apple tea makes more sense to me lol

i never know really know the time difference for anything lmao but est to germany (that's not gmt is it?) is like 6 hours wOAH so it's like 9pm while it’s 3pm here? wowee

i feel mega weird after watching this show called hollywood (darren criss is in it, so is laura harrier and a bunch of other people) but i don't like it💀 i feel really icky rn and idk why but reading your last response to my ask (?) always makes me feel better :')

i am doing what you said btw, i'm typing this on my computer first then gonna transfer it to my phone's tumblr lol but when you said a digital detox, it's interesting cuz i feel like i've been having one since tom's new project was announced? gOD i don't wanna get into it bc i get so triggered but i've been off of instagram since then bc instagram stans literally stand by tom through whatever even when something ain't right- i’m just gonna leave it there bc i’ll continue the rant, but yeah so i took a break lol

also heard abt your driving lesson thing (?) was it that bad? i can't find the old post but someone asked if you hooked up with your lesson person and i was sOOO CONFUSED LMAOO LIKE OK ARIA GET SOME BUT UHH HUH?

now to address the actual response HAHA the way you touch my heart :') by :') bringing :') up :') halle :') being ariel :') (i honest to God don't remember if i brought this up first, forgive me if i did, it's been a minute lmao) i'm always talking about it and i'm pretty sure my family is so tired of me talking about it lmao, but YEAH when i found out they weren't twins i was so surprised but idk why i always thought they were twins? but YOU ARE SPEAKING MY LANGUAGE WITH THE DISNEY TALK- everyone is always like "tiana is my favorite princess" and yea she's strong and stuff but...... she was a frog. for almost the whole time. it's about time we got another one!! i do agree with some people on the fact that disney should just make another black princess but halle is adorable and i was ariel on stage so it's already really special to me :')

yeah lol there are good times with my brothers but they make me mad for a good portion of the time (there's the 12yo vincent and the 7yo daniel but vincent??? psshhh he is a piece of work and i'm not sure how much longer i can put up with him HAJAH AND YES VINCENT IS THE ONE WHO WAS 👁👄👁WHEN I CRIED AND THE ONE WHO DOESN'T LISTEN TO MUSIC- writing this now makes it sound like vincent is awful. which he isn't... we're working on him ig. not to add to the awfulness but no, he listens to obnoxious loud VIDEO GAME MUSIC and won't stop when we ask him to stop... he gets beat up a lot) anyway i imagine being an only child is really calming.. like you have time to yourself and its just you and your parents 😌

yeah let me know if you end up watching it (wandavision)! i think it's great but if you like it lmk!! tfatws is sooo good like PHEW i am honestly loving it. sidenote: j*hn w*lker makes me wanna jump through the screen and choke him to the ground. i was thinking right, and the falcon and the winter soldier (THATS SO MUCH EASIER FAJHKDAH) would techinally be like a 10 hour movie right? because every episode is an hour long and there'll be 10 episodes? like wow. i get what you mean though, abt the racism in the show etc, like looking forward to it but not like..... no i get what you mean i will not try and give another example lol but you make me wanna learn more languages like really badly (bc of what you said about the german to american translation) & if you end up watching hamilton PLEASE LMK ABT THAT TOO HAHAHA i love it so much, same thing with lion king lmaoo

speaking of germany, i was at lunch on saturday with my mom and her friend and we were talking about my schooling and like-- she planted this idea in my head lol like what if i just got my GED and went around the world (to england probably) to get a theatre experience??? and i think it sounds so cool but no where near practical lol, it's just..... the dream haha and i would then try and learn a language 😉

uh yes we absolutely should order basically a resturant meal at a cinema, how about burgers, chips (fries), and a large drink? any time next week works for me, should i pick you up?

also about cherry (which i still haven't watched yet lol) i got the timestamps from tumblr😌 i couldn't find them anywhere else, but i agree, i probably wouldn't even look twice at cherry if tom wasn't in it? like i liked tdatt a lot, but it's not a movie i would be itching to see ya know?

HAHAHAHA THE 24 HOUR NOTIFICATION- i think i have around 1030 hours on sims? but i've had it since 2019 lmao (reading the screenshots, yes u are 100% a genuis, i take screenshots too but on anon you can't upload them so i just read them and retype what i wrote lmao) i think the university experience in the game is fun, but time consuming and it's all work imo. idk why i do it so often tho 😭😭😭

and agreed!! when you're making good money in the game you have to find other ways to make it interesting. my cousins who play it just continously do "motherlode" and i'm like.... then what do you do in your game?? it just sounds boring to me... my current sims household, i had a famous comedian sim, her name was dylan, aND SORRY IM LAUGHING SO HARD WHILE WRITING THIS BC ITS A GREAT EXAMPLE OF THE UNI THING UNLESS IM JUST DUMB, she went to college for communications when i wanted her to be a comedian and when she graduated i realized that degree did nothing for the career 🥲 so yeah, i think i'm just dumb. but she had a kid in college, guy didn't stick around and she was pretty broke HA but then she got married to this (great) guy named steve, made good bank, had 5 more kids (two sets of twins and one more lol) but then she passed. uhm... yeah that's still an open wound . lol i'm kidding, but when you get rich like that, you have to find a way to make the game interesting and i chose a million kids.

(this was one giant paragraph until i broke it up uhh yeah) i seriously don't pay attention to the sims prices and just end up spending way too much money and not being able to finish the rest of the house😭 but then again, i'm so used to having sims live in apartments... if i end up building a house FIRST OF ALL it'll look like what you explained before lmao but i'll tell you if i actually end up building a house HAHA & planning out your sims game is so fun to me lol, did enisa and michael take in his daughter yet? i may be thinking too far ahead lol and i love that they fucked woohooed (i say woo woo lol) in celebration HAHA but when i was playing with this one couple i had them woo woo every night hoping the dude would have horrible pull out game and they would concieve, but one night they were too tired and i was like why? get back in there man. if i was in college and lived with my partner we would be fucking every night homie. be grateful. i have been talking a lot about sims, and like you said: enough 💀 i just love this game a lot 😭😭

SORRY LAST THING i think the sims romantic and sexual stuff is so nice bc its what i want?? LMAO IDK like the whole hot tub thing you're talking about- puh lease ITS JUST NICE TO SEE OKAY

i'm reading the german section over again and i said aloud "my german friend is so cool" lol (i was saying that to my brothers & i know they don't care LMAO) (& i'm glad the uni zoom call went well!!) so on a form, in german, it could possibily say Einführungsveranstaltungsteilnehmer because you would be a participant to an introductory event? i swear german sounds so cool 😌 but i love reading your german lessons!! it's really interesting, most of the time my brain can't comprehend it tho?? like that word makes sense to you, but i need a translation. like to be able to look at that and know what it says.... its just appealing and seems so cool lol i kinda wanna write something out in german but i feel that google translate will fail me. während googeln "google übersetzen" mein Computer war so verdammt langsam und es fühlte sich einfach wie etwas Gutes auf Deutsch zu sagen. ich bin nicht sicher, welches Wort ist "fucking", aber ich mag es lmao (did it fail me like i thought it would??)

LMAOOO THANK YOU FOR BRINGING UP JUSTIN BC WHILE AT THE RESTURANT THEY PLAYED A JUSTIN SONG AND I IMMEDIATELY THOUGHT OF YOU AND THIS STORY😭 lol i was thinking it's depending on your age but not even that either... i really don't know.... but tom's fans are hollanders💀 i would consider myself one? he's the only person i'm really into like that (like a lot lol) so idk lmao (directioners 💔💔the pain is real)

LMAOOO (both of these paragraphs started off with “lmaooo” smh) "i like my men when they look like they are on the brink of death" PLEASE, i don't like pete's blonde hair... i just don't. i'm not sure if i wasn't watching the most recent snls but yea. my mom thinks he looks like trash, but i think he's okay? like he said staten island people just look like trash LMAO and I STILL HAVEN'T SEEN KING OF STATEN ISLAND GIRL I ALMOST FORGOT ABOUT THAT!! now i'm gonna make plans to watch it lmao, & yes agreed i find pete hot, don't ask why i really couldn't explain it to someone he's just .

my favorite songs from rex are from pony oh my goodness 🥺 anywho i'm gonna go eat cereal (i ended up eating bun and cheese instead) and listen to the Stormzy songs you recommended... aria. aria aria aria. i would like to thank you for introducing me to stormzy i- i don't have any words or any emojis to express HOW GOOD STORMZY IS. i hope he's popular in germany/the uk because i haven't heard of him but GURLLLL

one second - delicious i love it. it's really good. it’s not my favorite from the album, but its great.

superheroes - at first i played the non-explicit one (on accident) and wondered why the words weren't playing but i was reading them in the lyrics??? THIS ONE THOUGH??? IS THE BEST SONG I THINK I'VE EVER HEARD. i am so SO SO into black people empowering songs (like brown skin girl by beyonce) and this song???? PHEW I CRYYYYY ITS SO GOOD.... i was gonna quote some lyrics BUT THERS TOO MANY I LOVE, "i am young, black, beautiful, and brave" "black queen, you're immaculate, it's coming at the world, they ain't ready for your magic yet, and that was never your fault" THAT WAS NEVER YOUR FAULT- I ALMOST CRIED THIS SONG IS SO BEAUTIFUL (i played it twice lol)

lessons is another beautiful one, like its slow and it feels intimate and nurturing and just OO chefs kiss, beautiful . like you can feel the apology and the regret... it’s so good

own it - OWN IT OWN IT OWN IT IS AMAZING!! swear you would catch me dancing to this song, this song is so fucking good i cannot comprehend like this one might be my favorite for real... "it's the way you wind up your waist, i'm so in awe, you never have to worry abt nothing, you know its yours, you know you own it" 🥲 i played it two or three times honestly

rachael's little brother - YES I DID LISTEN TO IT LMAO AND YES I LIKE IT, its a very complex song and it's very layered in terms of emotions i think and i really like that about it. i probably won't listen to it that often, but its really good. i would recommend this song to my "older brother" bc he would just absolutely love this

shut up - i was taking this song seriously (also very good) until i heard him say shu-T up LMAO, this one is good, i probably wouldn't listen to it 24/7 like rachael's little brother but honestly its still fire

before listening to blinded by your grace and vossi bop, i know you brought up the religion bit, i definitely don't mind that, especially because i'm Christian lol and i actually liked that he brought up God in some of his songs like idk i just like it🥰🥰

(i then went to bed after that lol but first thing in the morning i listened to superheroes and... that song is probably my favorite tbh, i was gonna write MORE quotes that i loved from it but, yeah no there's too many. if you want i'll tell you lmao but this is already so long i would just be quoting the whole friggin song)

VOSSI BOP IS A BOP (lol) I CANT EVEN LIE, i love a song that hypes up a dude's girl so the line- i love that my phone decided to fail to load the lyrics, lemme google it, okay the lyric "looking at my girl like what a goddess" i was like AYEEE its honestly just really good. and no one in america says "sauce" like "i've got the sauce" but now i do (thanks to love island and Nas from last season) and now stormzy so (also im gonna watch the music video for superheroes bc it looks great so 😛)

(because this is already so long i feel like i shouldn't finish the rest but . no i'm gonna do it)

now for blinded by your grace pt2 idk why i’m nervous lmaoo PAUSE I'M NOT EVEN DONE WITH THE SONG GIRL THIS SONG IS *chefs kiss* no words, speechless PHEW y'all gon make me start jumping around. why did i not know about stormzy before, he is amazing i- ok yeah i finished the song, all i have to say is that Stormzy is immaclucate. period. i am literally sending his music to all my friends he is..... amazing

you want my song recommendations 🥺🥺 hmm uh okay lol i listen to a lot of old music, whitney houston, marvin gaye, queen, celine dion, i love "more than words" by extreme uhmm okay, but for actual music i listen to on the daily? (this is a lot of different music like.... they do not go together lmao so be prepared) a song about being sad by rex orange county, betty by taylor swift and lover by taylor swift and... most of that album lol, treasure by bruno mars lmao, OOOO and versace on the floor by bruno as well, lazybaby by dove cameron, creep by tlc has been on repeat lol, deja vu by olivia rodrigo (i saw what you said about drivers license and AGREED LMAO but i like deja vu a lot more haha) and two albums that i listen to in general, rare by selena gomez and ungodly hour by chloe x halle 🥰 you don't have to listen to all of them or any of them lol but that's a sense of what i'm into :) so basically everything haha, i'm into literally every single kind of music really so i wasn't too surprised that i enjoyed stormzy :’)

HAHASBSJHAHA your h20 story cracked me up,, like "wow these actors are so dedicated, learning german just for us" 😭 the beauty of overdubbing

once again, math and maths, in my mind maths makes sense because its mathmatics, but saying maths doesn't feel right to me lol, like if i said maths i feel like everyone would look at me like ??? and yea i was taught it as math so its just more natural for me. but yes math/maths is disgusting, easily one of my least favorite subjects so .

mkay. i- the first time i read this i could not contain my laughter when you said the only pollen you know is sex pollen LMAOKOOSHBABJFAJF STOPPP I'M EVEN LAUGHING WRITING THIS,, anyway. wow! that's interesting, my dad (<<< mostly anything else) gets migraines from the sun and the heat and stuff, yesterday (sunday, i was outside for like hours watching my brothers play football, the american kind lol) i was in the sun for like ever and i got a headache😔

summer clothes🥲 i need to go shopping fr fr. for my birthday my mom and dad got me a giftcard like dedicated to a shopping spree and we've yet to go so..... i should bring it up to my mom lol, but!! i went bra shopping (ended up returning literally all of them cuz they honestly didn't work for day to day work? its a long story) and if i could i would walk around in this new "summer bra" i got, i would. it's so fricking cute and its really light fabric (which isn't perfect for my nipples but still) so i don't get hot in it, but that bra and some shorts would be perfect. its the closest thing to being naked so

IS THE BIRD STILL BOTHERING U ARIA, TELL ME NOW ISTG, i laughed really hard that the bird isn't stupid and is really trying to torture you LMAOO like i was rolling, it wants you to suffer, badly

when you said "mensus" it was still close to mens!!! latin speaking queen 😌😌

okay STORYTIME i was reading back your response and started (fake) crying bc i love you lol and my youngest brother (daniel) gon say "oh man, catherine's crying about something we don't care about, again" I--- i swear when i tell you about them they sound awful, but they aren't that bad, just the stuff i say about them is sounds really mean LMAO

but the thing you said about being kind, same, what i always say is: don't be the person that makes people say "i hate people" ya know? like there's no reason to be a jerk or anything.... but its true 🥺🥺🥺🥺 you are really kind and every time i talk to you i would like to personally fly to germany and give you a hug 💖💕💞💗💓💝💖💘

& i'm gonna show my stretch marks some love bc of you 🥺😭 i really hate how men have basically everyone conditioned that you can't love your own body </3 fuck them, y'all beautiful :')

also thanks for what you said :')) you literally are the kindest, sweetest person i think i've ever spoken to and i love you 🥰🥺🥲💓💗

READING YOUR TAGS HAHAHHAHA the spelling errors makes everything so much funnier. once again, i like your german lessons & yea!! i'm gonna play sims after writing this hahah

#catherine's tags are back #i don't think i've told you my name before?? #anyway it's catherine🥰🥰🥰 #i'm typing this on my computer (without emojis) and if i didn't edit this you would be reading shit shite like #heartface and pout and cry LMAO #yeah abt the tattoos #some stuff with my parents i'm like deal with it??? lol #my mom tells me "if there's something you enjoy or you like but i don't have the same opinion on it... why would my (my mom's) opinion matter? #and i love that #like i'm not gonna go and do whatever i want #but if my mom doesn't like that i swear (which isn't true just an example) #its like okay.... #but whatever #and your tattoo ideas sound really cute!! #and yeah @ your parents, i mean you aren't getting something wild #and the tattoo album>>> #i'm gonna look up ariana's butterfly tattoos just so i know what you mean lol #but i'm guessing you don't want something so incredibily simple, but not super like over the top? #correct me if i'm wrong lol #LMAO the tags were in order don't worry ! #and yeah lol ily2 <33 #and once again, again, sorry for this post JSHJS ITS A MESS AND LONG AS HELL #and you don't need to go in order of my post its literally longer than your german compound words #u're fine #also !!! while writing this the birds were chirping outside and i was like 😳 #and one of your fics (i’ve read all of them, i don’t remember lol) that valentine’s day one where y/n had lingerie on (the pancake one lol) #inspired me to buy lingerie #like when i look back on me “growing up” #that fic & basically you lol really helped with that #that made no sense and i don’t know how to make it make sense... but... yeah. like ily

hiiiiiiiiiii <3333

Dear catherine, 😌

(you have said your name before, but it wasn‘t like an introduction or anything i think you were talking about .... was it possibly the incident at the cinema??? And you said something like ‘calm down catherine‘ like you were telling yourself to calm down idkd dkdkkdkd anyway i didn‘t mention it cause i wasn‘t sure if it was an accident or not dkdjd but now i know 😌❤️ Catherine is such a cute and lovely name btw omg and so are your brothers‘s names 🥰

Sorry that I‘m answering this so late, it‘s been an emotional rollercoaster for me since last week but i‘ll get to that in a second lol

Sksklssk girl i haven‘t played sims in like 2 weeks now ekejdkdlldld ok that‘s not that long at all actually but i keep wanting to play but then i end up not playing for whatever reason, so no news about my sims game 😔 but i love the names Liam and Peter and for twins!!! That sounds really nice actually

okay i‘m trying to answer your ask in chronological answer even though i wanted to wait for the depressing stuff and write it at the end or something OKAY so. i thought that i‘d feel so good when i start uni and that i‘ll like... have a purpose in life again and just be happy (cause in the last year i didn‘t do much and i was depressed like half of the time lol).... anyway i kind of feel even worse now? 😭 i think it‘s because in my brain it‘s like: university!!! that means your life will change and it‘ll all be so exciting. and don‘t get me wrong it is exciting butttt..... idk the online thing is so weird cause you‘re not meeting any new people (i‘m introverted anyway but still lol) and it doesn‘t feel like you‘re listening to/talking to actual people cause it feels the same as just watching a video?

also i thought i‘d be busy again but i only have one lecture (90mins) a day and theres one day where i dont have any lectures at all and just one day where i have 3 hours but.... idk i mean i shouldn‘t complain about having so much free time but i just don‘t know what to do all day and in a pandemic there really is nothing to do but i also can‘t relax bc it‘s like during the week and i know i have uni the next day and .... yeah.

There‘s also this one assignment i had to do that took me AT LEAST SIX HOURS AND IM NOT EVEN EXAGGERATING????? so that was the only thing i‘ve been doing besides “going to“ lectures. for this one course we have to read two (really really long) texts (like it literally took me 3 hours to read them) and we‘re supposed to post it on this website that all the professors in our uni use. So after 5 days of anxiety (✌🏼) i posted mine this morning bc last night i realised that i didn‘t even know why i was having anxiety so i just posted mine today. The deadline is tomorrow at 12 and no one except me has posted theirs yet........ so i have anxiety again 🥰 cause idk if i‘m the only one who did it or if i even did it correctly

Edit while i‘m rereading this: my anxiety about uni is a lot better and i‘m not as d*pressed anymore maybe it was just hormones? idk but i‘m better so that‘s good

(I started writing this like 5 hours ago and then i randomly completely forgot lol)

I‘m in a better mood now though so let‘s move on from that (oh wait also, i think i‘m gonna see if i can find a psychiatrist bc with my anxiety symptoms (long story) i need to go to a psychiatrist, and so far i‘ve only gone to like psycholgists and it didn‘t help but i think that‘s just bc i was meant to go to a psychiatrist and not a psychologist so dldjdjsj

n e ways but yes you‘re not alone, ily, things will get better and yes i love you (i‘m not good at this type of thing🥲 but i‘d hug you right now if i could <3)

Yess i think the time difference between est and me is 6hours but gmt is uk time i believe? i think mine is called.... cet? For central european time? I could be completely wrong though lmao

Oof i completely forgot about hollywood, i remember when laura kept posting about it on instagram but i never actually watched it and i definitely won‘t now lmaodkdksjsn

Okay my driving lesson LEBDJDKDK I DID NOT HOOK UP WITH ANYONE AKSJSKSMMLM especially not my 40 or 50 year old driving instructor lol i like her but NOT LIKE THAT, the lesson was really really really good actually and i think i‘ll have my driving test soon, but i don‘t even remember why the anon would have thought that??? Oh wait now i remember okay KEKSKDLDL so during the lesson my instructor was like do you mind if i turn on some music? AND THIS WOMAN TURNED ON ONE DIRECTION I LOVE HER so i made a post about it and i said something about the song up all night and i guess i phrased it in a .... idk in a dumb way 💀 so the anon made a joke that i stayed up with my driving instructor all night and NO. No.

Wait did i read that right? YOU WERE ARIEL ON STAGE? SIALDBDJDKSLMSBDKDMDMDKDJSLSMDJFJJEDMBFEKLEFBJDLDVSIDLESKSKWKDKDJDOWNYUEKWNDUWLNSUFLWVSUDLEHDOENSIDBEISBEHENJELBSIEMWUDNRIW KB WOBE JO ON SBEUU HIII S HWS LV W ICH US KB okay this keyboard smash is getting out of hand but uh please do elaborate on that 💘😌???? Like you can‘t just drop that information and not say more??? I forgot if you‘re in like your school‘s drama group (is that a thing? lol idk anything about acting) or in an independent group? Either way - ARIEL that is so fucking cool

Your brothers loooooool, no i get it though obviously you love them and stuff but esp at their age children are so annoying so good luck with them 😭😭😭lmao

Yeah “anyway i imagine being an only child is really calming.. like you have time to yourself and its just you and your parents 😌“ yeah just me and my parents who constantly fight 🥰 lmao no i like being an only child, like i cannot imagine having siblings but i feel like if i had siblings i would be saying that i can‘t imagine being an only child so? but i do think it‘s quite different like i‘m trying to imagine having siblings and WHAT that‘s just so different omg i‘ve never really thought about it like properly ???

I saw a tik tok the other day that was like “sometimes i forget that my siblings have a life of their own. like i see them as side characters in my life“ and even though i can‘t relate obviously i felt that. lol, like i can really imagine how it feels idk what i‘m talking about like shut the fuck up, daria

(also my actual name is daria not aria but i dont like it, and also i wanted to be more anonymous on tumblr so now i‘m aria lmao. pls don‘t mention it though cause no one knows except for you and mel (peterbenjiparker) dkdkdkdnkdnd. but i‘m starting to identify with the name cause everyone keeps calling me that looool😭😭😭 (but i like the name, more than daria anyway? well it also depends on the accent, cause the way germans say daria is okay. the was Americans say it is also okay, but some of my family in England are from the north of england and i don‘t like how they say my name 💀 no offence to them(?) but yeah pls don‘t mention the name in your ask cause the chance of people seeing it is higher then (or if you want to say something about it just send a separate ask and i just won‘t post it (IDK what you‘d want to say about my name but yeah just in case slsldlldmsndnsns)

I‘m loving falcon and winter soldier so much but when i was watching an episode the week before last week (?) my laptop broke😭😭😭😭 during the scene where the dora milaje came at the end my laptop just shut down? And it had these lines all over the screen and i had to bring it to the shop where i bought it and they said it‘ll take 6-8 weeks to repair 💔💔💔 but at least it‘ll be for free, cause if i brought it back to apple it would cost like 400€ (i think that‘s nearly 500$) so yeah. but it sucks cause now i‘m “going to uni“ on a really old rusty laptop and on my phone which kinda sucks. oh yeah and also i can‘t watch anything on there 😭 i definitely want to watch wandavision but it‘ll have to wait🤧

Yessss you should def get your GED! I googled and I‘m still not entirely sure what it is dldks but from how you described it- YES!!!!!!

Idk if you know this? Like no idea if I‘ve told you this already (hmmm wait i feel like we talked about it actually?) anyway i was originally gonna go study in England, but for loads of reasons I ended up staying in Germany and I‘m def happy with my decision, but I definitely want to go to England sometime even if it‘s just for six months or maybe for my masters or something? And (obviously everyone is different) but i think everyone should go abroad and live in a different country once in their life, no matter if it‘s for school or what, and even if it‘s just for a few weeks. But i think that‘s something that you‘d never ever forget! And combining that with your acting/theatre??? You really would be living the dream 💘💘😌

how about burgers, chips (fries), and a large drink? any time next week works for me, should i pick you up?— sounds good see you soon 🥰🥰🥰

i used to be one of the people who‘d just do motherlode motherlode motherlode and just... what did i do? Why did i do that??? But not anymore lol. Like I said i haven‘t played sims in a few weeks but i‘ve been watching a few legacy challenge let‘s plays and usually i play with the aging off. So my sims just don‘t age 💀 but i could (should) turn aging on so that it stays exciting and i have limited time and everything. and once i get bored with my current sims i can just make them have kids and continue playing as their children when they get older- like recently i remembered that i haven‘t played the acting career in ages? and i haven‘t had a shop in ages? and i think you can even become a vet right??? like those are definitely some things i want to do in the next weeks!!! Also yes sksksjs i have a few hundred hours on sims as well (if not thousands 😭) it was just that one household that i‘d been playing with for 24hrs

AND GIRL SSKSKJD THE UNIVERSITY THING HAPPENED TO ME TOO, it was a while ago so i don‘t remember what degree and what job it was about but i made my sim study something for aaaaaages so she‘d get a better job from the beginning (you know what i mean like get in at a higher level)...... and i apparently studied the wrong thing cause i didn‘t get any benefits from studying and still had to start at level 1 and shit 🥴🥲

Oh also (this was like 2 weeks ago) Enisa and Michael did take in Michael‘s daughter and i think Enisa currently even has a higher/better relationship with the daughter than Michael but um💀💀💀 also i was hoping (since michael and enisa married (in their back yard i think lol) that the daughter (i forget what her name is😭) would have enisa as her step mom? Like you know how you can see the relationship and it says daughter or son or sister.. and i was hoping that it would say step mom but it doesn‘t say anything 🥲 but in my mind (and if the sims had proper family relations) she is her step mom😌 also Leo is a teenager now???? I mean I aged him up lol dkdk he was being too annoying as a toddler but i don‘t like children so i aged him up twice in one day and now he‘s a teen, but that means he can look after his half sister when she becomes a toddler which is good (the game recognises them as siblings tho even if they‘re just half siblings? why can‘t they have step family members in the sims🥲) okay i‘ve annoyed you enough with sims ✋🏼

I‘ve been a bit sick these past few days and now i‘m getting a headache so i have to finish this response tomorrow 😭😭😭 </3

.

It‘s not tomorrow, it‘s 3 hours later but i‘m better lol

oooff when sims are ungrateful and won‘t woo woo (lol i like that) cause they‘re too tired like?? Be grateful that you‘re not living with your parents anymore 🙄 no okay dkdkdkdl idk if you play with mods (i don‘t) but i know there is a mod (or it‘s part of a mod idk maybe wicked whims?) where you can adjust the percentage of how risky a normal woo woo is, like you still click woo woo (3dksksks okay i‘ll say woohoo again— wait is that what’s it called? 😭) but there‘s like a 25% chance that your sim can still get pregnant just like in real life there‘s always a chance of getting pregnant even if you‘re using protection (just not 25% lmao) but yeah i personally don‘t play with mods sksk and you can always just click try for baby but it would be cool if you could add stuff like risky woohoo to the game without mods (i have no idea how to download mods and i play sims on a really really old laptop and sims is literally tje only thing that works on it anyway so—) i repeat my words from earlier: okay i‘ve annoyed you enough with sims ✋🏼

okay i‘m so sorry i‘m gonna watch fast & furious 1 now cause i need to watch f&f 1-5 until the 30th of april cause they‘re only on netflix til then (i mean i could watch them somewhere else but the quality is never as good) so i will finish this tomorrow after all😭

it is now 1 am, i finished the film, can feel a new obsession coming up again (i always have these f&f obsessions for six months before and after a new film comes out)

THE GOOGLE TRANSLATE wkekdjdj tbh it sounds like someone is speaking with some kind of foreign accent i guess that‘s probably because it just is a direct translation and so anyway slsjsj i don‘t know if you asked me what the word fucking is in german? like idk cause the translation is a bit weird but in case you asked lol sidjsjs theres not really a good translation like we just say fuck for fuck lmao, i don‘t know if you typed in fucking in google translate and it came out as verdammt? cause that means damn (or damned sksjjs) ummm yeah idek if/what you asked so imma move on🤧

I‘m not gonna comment on what you said about every stormzy song cause you already said all the important things but SKSKSJSJSKNSNDBDUDOENWBSLSKKHSULSLSKSBSJSKSK I WAS SMILING SO HARD WHEN I READ YOUR RESPONSE FOR THE FIRST TIME BECAUSE AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH finally i know someone who loves him as much as i do 💘💘💘 also since you brought it up, i‘m pretty sure he‘s considered the most successful UK rapper or if not then at least top 3 so he‘s defffffffffinitely big in the uk, in germany more and more people are listening to uk rap too but not as much stormzy cause theyre dumb apparently 🙄 but anywY i‘m sooooo sooo happy that you like him. i think hith came out end of 2019 (i could be wrong but i think it came out on the 13th of december so (in a european way) you‘d write the date: 13.12 and obviously i don‘t KNOW this but i can definitely imagine that he chose that date because ACAB and yes, Michael. Yes. But he hasn‘t made too much music since then so i hope he‘s working on some new stuff 🤞🏼

Also i ordered the stormzy poster😌 also a nicki minaj one bc i decided i‘m gonna have one wall with red-ish posters (i already have two kinda red ones) and one with blue/green-ish posters (already have two) and i can add stormzy to the blue one and nicki to the red one, but i think that‘s it cause if my walls are tooo full it could look cluttered? I‘m not sure how that type of thing works lmao but my room is generally untidy so i don‘t want the walls to look unorganised too so i think that‘s it for now

I really want to finish this now but my brain is getting kinda slow and i need to sleep soon so this will have to wait till later after all 🥺🥴 (not that it makes and difference to you bc you‘ll see this whenever i post it buttttt i wanted you to know that i want to talk to you again but with my slow brain i‘m just taking too long to do it in one day😭😭😭 and i‘m so busy tomorrow hmm but i‘m sure i‘ll have 30 minutes to finish this then <3)

Okay wait I‘m so dumb I didn‘t realise I‘d nearly answered everything i could have posted this yesterday 😭😭

Oooohh that summer bra sounds so nice like if i was confident enough i literally would just wear a top that resembles a bra (or really is a bra lol) cause my tiddies always be looking amazing i‘m just insecure about my stomach sometimes 🙄🙄🙄 but recently i‘ve been loving myself more and more tbh 😌

also i hope you can go shopping for some nice clothes soon ✨😌

I‘ll be honest I haven‘t listened to your song recs YET but only because i wanna take my time with them and i‘ve been so busy and slso AJ tracey‘s album came out last week and I haven‘t listened to that one yet either so ekdkdj (he‘s also a uk rapper like quite popular and successful as well, but i feel like i‘m not gonna like his album cause whenever i‘m looking forward to an album it ends up being really bad and the albums where you weren‘t expecting it turn out to be bangers.... so yeah but i‘ll let you know when i listen to your songs!!!! :)

Omg i keep having to scroll up all the way to see the next thing you said so sorry if I completely miss some of the things you said😭😭

So when you sent this the bird was still bothering me oh my FUCK DKDLDMMDMDMD but now i‘ve been going to bed at like 1-2am so the bird is probably still asleep lool

Okay and for the rest of your ask my response is: 💘💖❣️💚❣️💛❣️💛💕💞❤️💓💟💞💕💕💖💘💝💟💟🧡❤️🧡💞💛💚💓💚💚💚❣️🧡💖💘🧡💝🧡💕💘🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥺🥺🥺🥰🥺🥺💘💘💘💘💘 (okay that looked cuter in my head i don‘t really like the green hearts dldkkdksndnd)

[strikerjoshy]

Today is a very special day for me, and thats why I'll start to do different shit today instead of my Manga- or Dankmemes-related stuff.

Two of my all time favorite CDs got their 10th Anniversary today!

On April 3rd 2010, Tobias Sammet,  known for his main Band, Edguy, released "The Wicked Symphony" and "Angel of Babylon", Album No. 4 and 5 for his All-Star-Solo project, Avantasia.

Those CDs are special to me, bc I did not really have any "favorite music" until I heard about Edguy for the first time in ...2007. (I mean, I've listened to music before, like every boy at the start of his adolescence, I listened to some gangster rappers, pop music like Gwen Stefani, or stuff like Linkin Park, Billy Talent or KoRn, popular stuff for teens in the mid/late 2000s) but never had something I REALLY care for or LOVE, or even e favorite genre. So my way of music taste was determinded at the latest by exploring Edguy and Avantasia on YouTube or MyVideo in 2007/2008.

As a edgy teenager, I was made for the deep or philosophical lyrics and the nice, epic melodies. But some tracks stay close to me forever, like "Runaway Train" (not to be confused with the 1993-kidnapping-song from Soul Asylum) "Death is just a feeling", Journey to Arcadia" or the epic, bombastic poetry opener and title-track "Wicked Symphony" are songs I'll never forget and would be on a "My 100 favorite tracks of all time"-Sampler, if I'd have to create one.

Despite of being released at the same time, "The Wicked Symphony" is the 2nd and "Angel of Babylon" is supposed to be the 3rd and last Work of the "Wicked Trilogy" named 3-Parts-Story of a young man feeling misunderstood and looking at things/situations in another way of sight, started with the first part, "The Scarecrow" from 2008.

I really adore Tobias Sammets art and his habit to talk about crazy or "not normal" things. "Your Love is evil", for example, tells about a man who has fallen in love with a mannequin/dummy in a store window. Its such a strange theme, and i cant relate, but feel every emotion that lies in this song, which makes this man so special for me.

I just wanted to share my abandon and respect for this wonderful music. I'll left the links to those two wonderful hours of music here, maybe someone finds something similar to what I found <3

The Wicked Symphony:

https://youtu.be/zalbDZmWKhc

Angel of Babylon:

https://youtu.be/Q3K0wUfAv5w

[punkscowardschampions]

School Project | Janis & Jimmy

Asia: I literally can't find any songs from 1916 wtf ���😞 what are we going to do??! Daniel: Did they even have radio then? Asia: idk let me google it 🤔 Daniel: pretty sure they didn't, some kind of teacher joke, like Asia: omg it's really old though look! Asia: [sends him a link about when radio was invented] Janis: yeah the songs don't have to be from the time Asia: ?? that sounds so fake are you sure? Janis: 'Create a soundtrack for a movie version of the 1916 Easter Rising. Use songs from any era and genre but they must describe the mood and/or details of the event. Explain why you feel that each song matches the event.' Jimmy: 👍 Asia: oh 👌 Janis: feel free to go 'round the pubs and ask if any of the old fellas remember decent rebel songs from the time Asia: OR there's literally been like TV about it we can just 👀 what they used Asia: like get Liam Neeson chatting away and put a 🎵 over it 🙄 Janis: I doubt RTE could afford decent royalties Janis: not at all offensive to put it to elevator music, like Daniel: yeah, me mam watched that, it was crap Jimmy: Let's face it, weren't gonna be a patch on Taken 3 Daniel: [sends the 'I will find you-' gif] Daniel: Classic Asia: [sends the Taken 3 soundtrack whatever that is] Jimmy: properly sets the scene that Janis: Wow, it's like they stole the plot verbatim Janis: Wonder if you're the first person to 👀 that, Asia Asia: I like haven't even seen the movie though Asia: I'll take your word for it, babes Asia: cos of course YOU have Janis: 🤯 your mind, babes Janis: ask Dan here, it's a classic Daniel: Truuuuu Asia: 💙 Liam but like I'm so adhd I can't even Jimmy: and here I thought we had something special, girl 💔 Asia: ??! Jimmy: don't trouble your beautiful 🧠 Daniel: 😏 we'll leave, yeah? Janis: Reckon they've got it covered Asia: OMG! 🤫🤫🤫 I've got a boyfriend, new boy, can you NOT Jimmy: 💔 obvs Jimmy: he is that you 👀 more of me than you do of him, but alright Janis: long as you channel that 💔 into your song choices, we'll all survive Janis: just Jimmy: 👍 Daniel: 🥧 Asia: 🙄🙄 Asia: wall to wall Taylor 💔😢🎵 any era of hers tbh Janis: yeah, London Boy would be well fitting Janis: what Taylor song is your favourite, Dan? Daniel: errm, I dunno Daniel: don't really rate her Asia: 😱😱😱😱 Janis: 😱😱😱😱😱 Janis: this is the level of dramatic we're aspiring to, lads Jimmy: if any lass would marry someone right before they get 💀💀💀 Janis: new take on the break-up song Jimmy: bad blood was obvs written with all this bollocks firmly in mind Jimmy: Katy Perry who Janis: she has a boyfriend, mate Janis: you've been told Asia: !!! Janis: v you belong with me, am I right Asia: don't encourage him ugh Jimmy: 💧🎸 Janis: 😏 Janis: babes, he's incorrigible Asia: is that a 1916 word? wow Janis: I'm method Jimmy: 💔 for you we ain't gotta do a 🎭 Janis: my lack of exposure is a tragedy for another day Daniel: what do we actually have to do though? Daniel: still don't get it Jimmy: 'Create a soundtrack for a movie version of the 1916 Easter Rising. Use songs from any era and genre but they must describe the mood and/or details of the event. Explain why you feel that each song matches the event.' Daniel: yeah thanks mate Daniel: Janis, you seem to get it, you come explain it to me so I can catch up with these 2 Asia: she's NEVER had a boyfriend, Dan 😉 Daniel: What's that got to do with anything, like Asia: 🤭🤭 okay boy we all 👀 you Daniel: Shut up, Asia Asia: RUDE Daniel: I'm just trying to get this done, but you've just made me more confused Asia: aw babes Asia: just pick some songs from your gym playlist Janis: I'll do it, send you copies, don't worry Jimmy: you're alright, I need to pass this Janis: Yeah, so do I Janis: and I don't need this Jimmy: I'll do it Jimmy: the rest of you piss off Janis: What do you even know about it Jimmy: You're a expert, are you? Janis: I've been here longer than 5 minutes Jimmy: dumb and dumber have an' all, they don't have a clue Asia: UM excuse you! be more bitter that I won't go out with you, new boy! Janis: Christ Janis: we can't have multiple versions or we'll fail for not working together Asia: duh so let's work together Janis: OR let the one person who actually gets it do it and you get to crayon your name on at the end, alright Jimmy: Now that's agreed, I'll crack on Janis: Yeah, 64 is a LOT of colours to pick from Janis: have fun Jimmy: so funny, you Jimmy: get a smaller pack, rich girl Jimmy: not everything needs to be a flex Janis: 12? Janis: Gutted for you Asia: Size matters though, babes Jimmy: that's why your boyfriend keeps chatting about your bra size, I get it now Jimmy: Tah babes Asia: what? Jimmy: you heard Janis: as you're all busy here Janis: I'm off to do this project Daniel: I'm not Daniel: you going library, I'll help Jimmy: you heard 'an all, girl Jimmy: you ain't doing nowt Janis: Not to repeat Asia, but you what Janis: And why not, Dan Janis: majority rules Asia: this is SO not cool I have 🔥💡 Janis: And I'm sure Jimmy wants to hear 'em all Janis: see who's playlist ends up better Asia: UGH Janis: no doubt you wanna be on my team so bad Asia: you're being so anti-feminist rn Janis: I don't wanna be on that team either, you're alright Asia: !!! JANIS Asia: you like have to Janis: you can report me to Gloria and co Asia: I'll report you to sir Janis: 😱😱😱😱 Asia: mhmmm that'll be your face when you fail Janis: you've got the most experience there Janis: and I've got valid reason not to work with you Asia: no you don't Asia: pms isn't a valid reason Janis: don't let the feminists hear you Asia: 😑 Janis: yeah, that's what I thought Janis: never mind the lads don't wanna work with you either, you ain't said shit to them, have you Janis: 👌 fake solidarity Asia: I don't need to pass anything this badly EVER 👋 Janis: Toodles Jimmy: Can we focus now you've had your domestic or what? Janis: 💔 sorry I finished what you started, loverboy Jimmy: wrong 🌳 weren't it? Janis: Oh, you like the tall one? Janis: Cool, let's focus Jimmy: 👍 Daniel: 🌁🦍 Jimmy: stop flirting with me, lad Jimmy: I get that I'm 💪 but we said we were gonna focus Daniel: Didn't know your taste in hench lasses went that far, but I'm good thanks 😬 Janis: this chat has been nothing but rejection, sad face Jimmy: I'm method an' all Jimmy: Getting the british to fuck off out of it was top, Dan if you need a hand with the whys and wherefores Janis: Imagine that Jimmy: Yeah, gutted you're just a rebel with no cause, sweetheart Janis: Truly, how much tragedy can I withstand Janis: tah for your concern Jimmy: don't keep us in suspense, Dan's got a proper head for figures Janis: so's Asia's lad, let's add him to the chat then Jimmy: Alright Jimmy: go on Janis: Dan, you keep up with what this one is called? Daniel: 🤷😂 Jimmy: throw a 📌 at the map Daniel: Dylann went out with her before but he dumped her 'cos she's psycho Daniel: pity the poor cunt Jimmy: 🎻🎻🎻 Janis: RIP our unknown and fallen brother Janis: we should do 16 songs, for the 16 executions Jimmy: And split it into days Jimmy: somehow Janis: That works Janis: Dan, you do the maths Jimmy: could be first two, middle two and last two, sir is obvs all about the vibe Janis: 👍 Janis: just avoid actual songs about it, 'cos all anyone is going to do is a google and throw them on, like Sir ain't heard the national anthem Jimmy: duh Janis: alright, Asia Janis: nice of you to join us, again Jimmy: 😘 Janis: 🤮 Jimmy: protesting a bit hard there, mate Jimmy: we get it, you're method Janis: you might but Dan asked for help Janis: just that nice Jimmy: 👌 Daniel: Now you've stopped talking about old popstars, I get it Janis: See? He gets it Janis: maybe throw in a couple Yankee rebel songs, some fucking Les Mis, yeah, show we do without being #basic Jimmy: A+ Janis: I told you Jimmy: I weren't listening Jimmy: soz Janis: saved yourself some 'work' if you had Janis: your loss, not mine Jimmy: I'll live Janis: 💔 it's not a play again Janis: it'd be great craic to kill you for extra credit Jimmy: have a word with sir, I reckon he'd be about it Janis: I will Janis: all teachers are sadists Jimmy: nowt I can't handle Janis: 🦍💘 Janis: we remember Jimmy: Dan ain't been able to stop thinking about it Janis: 🤤 or 🤮 Dan, what's the truth Daniel: Piss off, I've told new boy I don't fancy lads, or lasses that look like 'em Janis: He can't take a hint, babes Jimmy: I can barely read any of this, there's the truth for you Janis: Heard it does that Jimmy: you catholics Janis: You don't know we're Catholic Janis: RUDE! Jimmy: if it were me all along #plottwist Janis: save it for the play, kid Jimmy: 🤞 Jimmy: love that spotlight, me Janis: that's not a #plottwist Jimmy: if everything I said were, you wouldn't be shocked, girl Janis: know your audience, I guess Janis: know it's Sir, not me, like Jimmy: nah, he's got the rotten 🍅 already out Jimmy: it's the accent Janis: he's method as well Jimmy: lot of that going about Janis: yeah, everyone is well 🤮 over your accent Janis: 🙄 Jimmy: everyone's well 🎭 is what I meant Jimmy: but tah for that head's up Janis: you're telling me Jimmy: I just did do, yeah Janis: 👏 Jimmy: save that for opening night Janis: Not that nice Janis: maybe if you were as helpful as Dan here Jimmy: I get it, you've got your hands full giving him one Janis: 💔 show must go on Jimmy: 👍 Daniel: 'least we can get Asia to present to the class now Jimmy: 🥇 she'll do an' all Jimmy: *job Daniel: 😍😍 Jimmy: she's got a BOYFRIEND, Dan Jimmy: sort yourself out Daniel: 😒 Daniel: tell your face Jimmy: no need, you've done it for me Jimmy: Tah, my dear Daniel: you're so weird, new kid Jimmy: 💕 Daniel: I'll message you with any songs I find, okay Janis? Janis: 👍 Jimmy: [sends her some songs he's already thought of 'cause we know he's that bitch about music] Janis: [a long enough time to actually listen so you probably think she's not replying] Janis: Yeah, those are alright Janis: [sends own list of a few songs] Jimmy: [again actually listening to them] Jimmy: nowt wrong with them either Janis: so that's 7 down, 9 to go Janis: easy Jimmy: [sends one that he's not sure of so maybe she could find a cover version that sounds better or something cos teamwork baby] Jimmy: ? it's a bit Janis: know what you mean Janis: this [cover] is less ? Jimmy: yeah Jimmy: That's alright Janis: we could do some kaiser chiefs or Franz Ferdinand for the WWI refs Jimmy: [songs by them that would work which I'm not googling] Jimmy: We need more lasses on here though Janis: 🥇 feminist, you Jimmy: piss off Janis: alright, I won't put in a good word for you with Asia, calm down Janis: [some punk ladies] Jimmy: she's got a tongue in her head and she never stops using it so you're alright Janis: So I hear Jimmy: and me Janis: Gutted, serious Jimmy: 💔🎻 Jimmy: [some different lady bops he likes better than whatever she suggested, bit rude] Janis: Those works too Jimmy: they work better Janis: How Janis: explain your whys and wherefores, tah Jimmy: lyrically Jimmy: in tone Jimmy: and with what else has made the list Janis: Way to be as vague as that prompt, boy Janis: you can have [this] and [that] but I want [this] from my list Jimmy: [a more specific rant about exactly why then because he's that bitch] Jimmy: you can have [song] and [song] from yours Jimmy: we should take out [song from earlier] Janis: Fine Janis: actually write some of that down though, you know Janis: not in this groupchat but where you can get your ⭐ Jimmy: ✔ Jimmy: [quick sketch he's done for like cover art number 1] or [2] ? Janis: I prefer the 2nd one Janis: looks more like an album cover to me Janis: though I like [an element of] in the first one so do that too Jimmy: [enough time to have passed that he can do a finished rough sketch of that] Jimmy: I'll chuck you the finished one to colour in, in a bit Jimmy: as you've got more crayons Janis: BCE Janis: don't reckon you'll want your masterpiece ruined Jimmy: if you don't wanna put the work in, I'll do it Janis: I'm just saying, I'm no artist Janis: I'll fake up an ad for a benefit concert, happy? Jimmy: Alright, calm down Janis: 🙄 Janis: whatever, take the compliment Jimmy: Why? Janis: 'cos why not? Jimmy: 1. you ain't my art teacher Jimmy: 2. who the fuck are you? Jimmy: 3. I don't want it Janis: 1. I didn't call you the next Lichtenstein, I just didn't say it was shit Janis: 2. literally irrelevant to working on this project and I'm not trying to tell you or ask who the fuck you are Janis: 3. Ignore it like a normal person then Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: Jesus, confirm stereotypes much Jimmy: Confirming or denying owt is irrelevant to this project an' all Janis: tell your face Jimmy: your boyfriend already tried that line Jimmy: didn't do nowt for him either Janis: That's it, that's the joke Jimmy: Nah, joke's that you paddys reckon you've got decent craic Janis: some of us prefer subverting stereotypes Jimmy: 👏🏆 Janis: [the poster ting and some more songs] Janis: that make 16 yet? Jimmy: [sends a few more himself] Jimmy: that does Janis: Hallelujah Janis: x4 that shit and give her a pronunciation guide Jimmy: 👍

[rkgray]

#legacy

I've always been a dream chaser Since the day I was born I haven’t been able to sit still Never weak-willed Always been real I risk lookin' soft to avoid situations

just soon after re-signing his contract, the year 2019 had begun with news that had hit him right into the guts. gray had been out of it for a while, hadn't been himself, but in the end he had raised himself from it and pushed his own boundaries, even though there had been still a voice in the back of his mind to make him believe how he didn't deserved to debut with kt and how he just didn't fit in the company. if there was one thing he was great at, then it was being self-destructive by pulling himself down and tell himself how he had never been as talented as the others were.

over the course of his past years gray had tried several times to get into a company, to receive a contract and publish his music, but had failed every single time. he went to auditions and castings, wrote song over song, worked hard to built up his own studio, put his everything into pursuing music, had been judgded by others for living a dream, instead of a reality. people had called him ugly, not the standard, unconventional, his music useless and not the kind of music the industry out there wanted to hear. demos had been received and rejected without a proper listen, had been send back without any reply at all, even thrown back at him for being dirty. gray had seen and heard it all. just a few times longer and he would have become used to it, would have accepted it as fact of his life.

Small-minded petty shit Somethin' we don’t entertain' We do somethin' lame Live and learn Do it never again Then we teach game to one another Because y'all my brothers, my actions reflect y'all I'm slipping, I'm falling, I can't get up I know you’ll catch me, support me and help me get up Yeah this bullshit’s whatever, I'll show nothin’ but love

but then there had been kt, the only company who had actually given him a chance to achieve what he had always dreamt of. at some point gray had even believed that he was holding on something kt was interested of, and that he was worth their time and money, just to start anew at point one, taken aback and full of doubts. gray had been just laying low, doing his thing, trying to grow from the shadows, working on become a better version of himself, to overcome what was pulling him down and become a supporting pillar to the entertainment that had taken him in, in times, when he was about to give up.

and now that the new year, the new decade lied ahead of them, the sudden news of a experimental group and the fact that he had been chosen as one of the members had caught him completely off guard. this wasn't what he had expected, as he had accepted his fate of staying in the dungeons until his contract runs out. debut was now in a more concrete vicinity, not just a shadowy figure in the distance.

Who can I lean on when the world is on my shoulders I need someone I can build with and grow older Coz life is much cold and people can't uphold us Take a look around Now you seein' what it's cost us People in positions of power really imposters

it still felt too unreal for him to properly process the course of events. he couldn't quite grasp on the reason of why he was becoming a part of it, since he wasn't one of the rookies, introduced to the public, somehow had received a special status within the rows of unknown trainees. maybe it was just out of seniority, looking back at the three years he had been with kt by now. he didn't even dared to believe it was due to his skills, as he was painfully aware that he was nowhere close to what a idol was supposed to be. among those who were not included in the experimental line up, gray believed there were others who would fit in much better than him, as they brought in visuals and talents likewise. it was hard to believe he had been chosen before them and then again, he remembered the time when he was excluded from ktrookies both times and how he had hurt over that decision, no matter if that project would lead to debut or not. it was just the freezing thought of not being enough to join them, which he was afraid would grow in the three boys apart from the group. he felt guilty.

how was he supposed to be happy, to be excited when the other boys who were supposed to be part of their big family, weren't at their side? how was he able to think he deserved a spot in the line up, when he could already hear the haunting voices of people calling him old and not made for this world laying ahead of them?

but then again, things had been hard, gray had overcome every pepple, every rock, every mountain to get this far, to finally be about to achieve his dream. there was much that he was still afraid of, but didn't he deserved to be excited for once, even if it was just for the short time of the experiment, until the final results came out?

So let's enjoy it while it lasts With the smiles and the laughter Comes sadness, all black, up in front there’s a pastor To the hoes and the bastards, the trolls and backstabbers Never too late to change till you up in your casket Let's get it Look up at the sky Looked down at the earth Are you down for the ride? Right next to me For this legacy I need you, I need you right here For this thing called life

to him life was a rollercoaster ride of ups and downs, there had been times, when he was about to break apart from his hardships and then there had been times, good times, when he felt like walking on clouds. all these moments were part of him, were what made the kind of man he was now. gray knew he wasn't perfect, wasn't infailable, that he was still lacking, but ultimately he wanted to become an artist and make music and share it with the world, just like every else around them.

there was still uncertainty that kept him around, and he guessed it would never drift away, as long as he didn't tried and gave it his all. for the longest time he had believed to be just an accessory to kt, to be a toy of a child that had been taken away from others, just so they won't be able to take it instead. there was no usage for him, nowhere to put him in. but now that there was finally an opening, a chance right in front of him, he felt like he had to pull through, despite all conflicts in his head and heart, as for who knew how long it would take him to get another chance like this? if he wasn't too try and grabbing this opportunity, what was even the point in dreaming, in trying, in falling and rising himself up again?

Look, growth to me that's all that matters Life's a game of Shoots and Ladders Ups and downs okay but I ain't movin' backwards I don't feed in to propaganda Trying to anger me so I can do some crazy shit I don't believe it atheist They want you riled up until you say, "Fuck the peace" In this society it's so easy to lose hope Just know we got each other Hold your hand through the smoke Let's go This that shit that they don't wanna see It starts with you and me Let's go What you leave behind, use your energy Yes not just mine or yours man, this our legacy, wassup

so even without the certainty of a clear future, gray promised to himself to keep going, to not give up and play himself down like he had done so many times before. there was a vision ahead of him, a dream he had to achieve, as it had accompanied him throughout life. music was what kept him from veer off the road, music was what kept him alive over the years of trying and failing over and over again, music was just what connected them all. and for music, they all would be able to go far and even beyond.

So when I perform, you listen and I hope you relate Hey, I got a solid intuition, a lot of ambition I'm looking at the world through a clear-cut vision We gotta do better Let's change the way we eat Let's change the way we live And let's change the way we treat each other I gotta do this for my legacy

[chiliiscereal]

(This is preseason one to show you what the background is on the whole story)

(let me know if you think this should be published as a separate book!)

You and Steve had a rocky start to being siblings.

You were born four years apart.

He was born in a time when your parents actually loved each other. They had time for birthdays and family weekends together. They went out to the park on saturdays. They were a picture perfect family.

It just so happened that when you were born, your father stopped being quite so faithful to your mother. When you came into the world, your father was in Europe on a business trip. And he wasn't only up to business.

Little Steve had adored you at first. He always wanted to hold you or play with you.

But then their parents no longer had time for him.

It was always work... and taking care of you.

It slowly changed over the years to only work, as your mother could no longer trust your father. Steve was left to watch you for weeks on end. He was good at it at first. He used to watch you carefully. He used to make sure you were happy and well...

Until he could no longer see his friends.

He was ten. You were five.

He began to leave you at home. At first it was only for thirty minutes while he went to the park. Then it was an hour every day during his elementary school days while he went to the movies.

You were seven when you began cooking your own meals.

You TRIED talking to him. You really did.

You tried catching his sleeve whenever he breezed past. You tried showing him crafts you made. You tried playing music you thought he might like.

That ended with twelve year old Steve pushing you away.

It ended with your works of art thrown in the trash.

Your music cassettes were thrown onto the road.

Your mother made sure both of you knew to never walk into the middle of the road, so you could only cry as some unknowing stranger destroyed your wonderful music. The music you had saved up all your allowance for. The music that you had thought your older brother would like. The music that you thought might bring you two together.

When your mother and father returned, you tattled.

Steve was grounded for a whole week.

But he always needed to have the last say. So he sold your boom box and spent all the money on comics. He threw your sketchbook in the quarry water. He shoved you to the floor, saying that if you ever tattled again then you would join your drawing book in the cold water.

You stopped trying to give Steve your attention and love. You no longer wished he would spend more time at home. So you began exploring the town by yourself at the age of nine. You didn't really have friends to hang out with so you would browse through stores.

The arcade was your favorite place.

You loved showing up early on Saturday mornings, before Steve was even awake, and leaving behind a new high score on the dragons lair.

Why?

Because it always riled up a group of boys your age. They had no idea who kept beating them over and over. Every Sunday morning you watched them walk in... only to scream a few seconds later about how someone had beaten their score by ONE point. Again.

You loved having some sort of connection to them. Even if they didn't know it was you. Or even who you were at all. They were a weird little group, strictly sticking with only other A.V club kids. Besides, you hardly ever talked. What would be so special about you?

It also didn't help that your older brother had begun to build himself a reputation. When you were ten, he began to be known as king Steve. You knew he bullied one of the kids (wills) older brother while beginning to flirt with another's (mike's) older sister.

You knew this because your father began forcing Steve to drive you home from school. That was the rule he set when he gave Steve the car.

Every day you trekked to the high school, only to watch Steve hang around Nancy Wheeler and push Johnathan Byers. You would have intervened and told him that you really didn't want to wait twenty minutes (out of sight) for him to be done. But the last time he did that he made you ride the way home in the trunk of his car.

When you were eleven, you started hanging out at Melvald's convenience store in the town square. Your favorite time to go there was at 7:00, because Mrs. Byers would always work the morning shift.

Wills mother was really quite wonderful. Every time you walked in she greeted you with a smile and lowered her magazine.

——-

"Whatcha lookin for today, kiddo?" She smiled softly, leaning on the counter to watch you browse.

"Any new cassette tapes." You shrugged, fingering each music case that caught your eye. "Do you have any Clash? I... lost mine." You didn't lose it. Steve broke it when he heard you mutter about how much you hated Tommy H.

"Yeah, we got a new box of cassettes delivered this morning." She hopped up and waved for you to follow her to the back room. "I miiiight have snagged a Clash cassette for you when I saw it." She grinned as she held the door open for the young girl.

"You didn't need to buy anything for me!" You gasped. You knew that the Byers needed all the money they could get. "Can I pay you back?" You immediately began digging through your pockets for spare change.

She placed a guiding hand on your back as you both entered, pulling you away from your search. "Oh no it's fine! It's the least I can do for my most frequent visitor."

She plucked the music case off the shelf and handed it to you. "You go to Hawkins elementary, right? You should talk to my son. Will. He also loves the Clash."

You turned red and clutched the cassette. "I've...seen him around before. I don't know how to talk to him."

"Oh it's easy!" She grabbed the spare paper and crayons you always used when you visited. "You just need to find common ground. For example," she pulled up a stool beside her for you to sit at, "you both like to draw!"

You placed down the paper and got working on your art. "Will it make a difference if I draw cartoons and he draws realistic? What if the difference is too big for him to want to talk to me?"

"It'll give you more to talk about!"

——

So began your quest to pursue friendship.

You attempted to speak to Will and his friends in the hall.

They were talking too loud about their latest campaign to hear you.

You tried asking to sit by them at lunch.

They were too busy launching potato's at the ceiling to notice.

Right when you almost gave up... Will and you were paired together as partners for a history project.

——-

'Don't mess it up, don't mess it up', you told yourself over and over as you moved to sit by Will. 'Don't be weird. See if he'll talk first. Don't be clingy.'

Wills was equally quiet. He just read through the rubric of the project and stayed silent.

'What can we talk about... what should I say?'

A drawing poking out of wills bag caught your eye. It looked like a wizard casting some sort of spell.

"I like your drawing!" You blurted out, wishing you could just shut up.

Wills jumped, startled. "Yeah... umm.. it's from... uh... it's from our last campaign.." he began fiddling with his thumbs, unsure of what to say to a girl. "Our DnD campaign... I mean."

You nodded along. "I like to draw to! I've never... I've never played DnD before... so I like to draw people."

Will cracked a shy smile. "I'll show you my drawing if you show me one of yours."

You agreed hesitantly.

He took your cartoon and you took his master piece. You desperately wished you could draw like him. Your cartoons looked so simple, as Steve always said.

"You're a cartoonist!" Will smiled, holding the paper out in front of him. It was a caricature of Mrs. Byers. "You must be the girl my mom sees at her job!" His eyes were wide with recognition. "This is so good! I wish I could draw cartoons. But whenever I try... they look like potato's." He laughed.

You flushed a deep red. "I... I'm also the one that beats your scores every Saturday." You admit.

His jaw dropped. "No way. We've been trying to figure out who that was for months! We formed a whole list of people to interrogate!" He ran a hand through his hair.

You giggled. "I can prove it... if you want. Next Saturday I could show you and your friends? At the arcade?"

"Yeah! I'm totally down to hang out at the arcade!"

——

Will had brought you to the A.V club after to ask the rest of the party. You had protested at first. What if they didn't like you? What if they said no? You would look so stupid! You tried to use your brother driving you home as an excuse.

But if you brought Steve up... no. You couldn't start a potential friendship like that.

Will proposed the ideas to everyone excitedly.

It seemed that Lucas had a problem with it immediately.

——-

"Sorry Will, but we can't." Lucas shook his head. "We've got plans."

Your heart dropped.

"Wait," Dustin frowned and turned to his friend. "What plans? I wasn't aware of any plans."

Lucas crossed his arms. "Remember? Our campaign?"

"We don't have a-."

Lucas elbowed him harshly and looked at you. "Can you leave for a second? We need to talk. ALONE."

You nodded and stepped out of the room. "Yeah totally! Just let me know when-."

The door slammed in your face.

You know you shouldn't have but you pressed your ear to the door anyway.

"What's your damage?" Mike Wheeler hissed quietly.

"Don't you know who she is?" Lucas accused.

"No... should we?" Will whispered in confusion.

"That's Y/N Harrington!" Lucas spat out.

"Steve Harrington's little sister." Dustin stated, now understanding.

Mike groaned. "The douche bag my sisters hooked on?"

"Yes! What if she's exactly like him?"

"You mean a total mouth breather? A player? An absolute jackass?"

You sunk to the floor. Of course Steve ruined the only chance you might have of a friendship. How could she think that these kids would look past her family's reputation? No one ever did. Even her teachers expected her to be disruptive and rude.

"Guys." Will intervened. "I talked to her in history."

"What?!"

"Traitor!"

"What about the party?"

Will lowered his voice, causing you to lean a little closer to the door. "She doesn't act like him. She never called me any names. She never told me that I'm a freak. She tried to talk to me about art."

"Steve definitely doesn't appreciate art." Dustin mumbled.

Wills continued. "She's a cartoonist. And I think she might be like us. You know who kept beating our dragon lair record?"

"Who?"

"Please tell me it wasn't Troy."

"Y/N Harrington."

"WHAT?!"

"IT WAS HER?!"

"GIRLS PLAY VIDEO GAMES?!"