#they are made for quiet afternoons in the sun NOT KILLING GODS

[paperglader]

watching ep 104, listening to laudna talk about Whitestone festivals and crops, and watching Imogen just look at her so smitten… I can’t help but feel like it’s funny that they got roped into this whole god eater thing, cause they really are the most build-for-domestic-life motherfuckers I’ve ever seen in my entire life.

Like tell me that you cannot see it in Imogen’s eyes how badly she just wants to elope with this woman on a little farm where they can raise horses and garden and have small little quiet lives in a place that doesn’t suck like gelvaan and where they can get their peace but also get to enjoy the little things in life??? And she looks this way anytime laudna like breathes.

Meanwhile they have to go off and try to kill a god and maybe die in the process or whatever

[mountainsandmayhem]

God Bless The She Devil Who Made Joel Miller

Pairing: BFD!Joel x F!Reader

18+ only!!!

Summary: After a fight with your boyfriend, your best friend Sarah invites you to say with her at her childhood home with her dad.

CW: Joel be peekin, Joel is mean (but you like it). I’m choosing not to say anything else to not spoil anything so engage at your own risk.

AN: You can all thank @littlevenicebitch69 for this. She asked for being caught, but I am daddy and I know what she really wants 😉 thank you @mermaidgirl30 for being my forever beta xo

Graphics by @saradika-graphics

God bless the absolute angel who brought Sarah Miller into your life. She somehow convinced her dad to let you stay with them over spring break after your boyfriend locked you out of your shared apartment and then refused to answer the phone or let you in. Sweet, empathetic, and dependable Sarah was at your apartment minutes after you called her and didn’t have to say much to her dad to let him allow you to stay.

And God bless the absolute she devil who made Joel Miller and put him in close proximity with you. You have a boyfriend, maybe, you can’t be sure, but you do know you have it HARD for Joel Mother Fucking Miller. He’s exactly the type of man that would classify as a DILF, and you don’t even consider yourself into older men. But Joel isn’t older, he’s experienced and charming and every single thing he does seems to turn you on.

Sarah has been working a day shift at the local grocery store during the break and Joel is off running his contracting business. Joel Miller, sweaty and dirty and building things with his large calloused hands. Fuck, you try to shake that image from your brain because you certainly do not need another image of him to touch yourself too.

You have a job serving in the evenings so the house is quiet and all yours during the day. This afternoon the sun peeks through your curtains and wakes you. Sun dancing along the pale yellow walls of the spare bedroom. You pick up your phone and see that it’s clear and sunny, the perfect day to lay out by the pool that Joel said you could use, “make yourself at home, darlin’, any friend of Sarah is welcome anytime.”

You practically leap out of bed and into your ensuite bathroom to brush your teeth and get ready to lay out in the sun. You rush down the hall in the swimsuit Sarah lent you, a large blue and white striped pool towel tucked under your arm.

You love Sarah, but there’s no chance you’re wearing this ridiculous one piece swimsuit to tan, plus you’re alone so what’s the harm? Joel doesn’t get home until well after 5 pm most nights, Sarah usually around 3 or 4, and she’s seen you naked more than once. Plus the backyard is fairly private, most likely no one will see anything.

Fuck it, you think to yourself, slipping the red lycra straps off your shoulders and then shimmying the suit down your body. The sun immediately warms your skin and that boost of vitamin D already has you feeling lighter and happier. You spread the towel down on the chair and lay on your stomach, tying your hair on top of your head and then grabbing your phone.

You flip through Spotify before settling on the album Ten by Pearl Jam. As the first song floats across the backyard, you rest your cheek on your hands and let the fast paced grunge music wash away your thoughts of your boyfriend and what you’re going to do next week when you go back to school. All that matters now is the sun on your skin.

X•X•X•X•X•X•X

Joel was just about to start working on some paperwork for his next building when he heard movement in the hallway. You must be up for the day, he should probably let you know he’s working from home today, just in case. He wants you to be comfortable here, even if it’s killing him to see you wandering around his house in those small denim shorts you wear to work. Last night he was almost certain he could see your hard nipples peeking out from the fabric of your tight white t-shirt.

Absolutely not, Joel. He scolds himself.

He hears you pad down the hall and then the unmistakable swoosh of the sliding glass door to the backyard. He glances out the window in his office to see you slip the red swimsuit Sarah lent you off your body. His cock was already painfully hard behind his jeans.

She just turned 21. The Angel on his shoulder reminds the devil that’s tempting him from the other side.

His mouth waters as he looks at your body. Your tits are perky, pink little nipples hardening as the air hits them.

She's going through a hard time. The good side of his conscience seems to be losing but he finds an ounce of strength and looks away. He can’t be staring at you.

He tries to focus on this goddamn contract but even little deadline and “initial here” blend together and all he can see in the jumbled words of the page is that little strip of hair that leads to that bundle of nerves he so badly wants to suck on. When he looks up again you’re laying face down, round and perky ass facing his window and on display for him. She must not know he’s home, and now she’s going to think he’s a total fucking creep if he says something now.

She’s your daughter's best friend. No, she’s off limits. Beyond off limits. Get it together, Miller.

And then your music drifts through his cracked window. You’re listening to Pearl Jam. So now not only are you incredibly tempting but you also have the music of his teenage years blasting. He can’t resist anymore, glancing out of the window to see you still laying on your stomach and your plush ass bouncing along as you wiggle to Eddie Vedder singing about still being alive.

He’s not sure how it happens, his body seems to move without him knowing, and suddenly he’s standing at the window, staring down into the backyard at you. His muscular arms crossed over his chest, leaning against the large window frame.

He slows his breathing and focuses on you - every dip and curve, every freckle, every little bit of skin being absorbed by his heated gaze. Your legs are slightly parted, but not enough for him to be able to see your cunt, and fuck does he want to see it.

His palms tingle with the need to cup your ass, maybe spank you for being naked in the middle of the day. He has neighbors, they could see you right now. This is unacceptable and you should be punished.

Just as he’s about to head downstairs his cell phone rings loudly and you shoot up onto your elbows and look over your shoulder at him, eyes locking with his before a tiny smile crosses your face. Joel looks away quickly and grabs his cell, almost crushing the device in his grasp as he answers.

X•X•X•X•X•X•X

Joel Miller was fully lurking at your naked body, and while that should probably embarrass you, you need to get fucked. You need something, anything, to forget about that piece of shit boyfriend who locked you out and refuses to talk to you or let you get your stuff. Sarah told you when you first met that he had her when he was 19, so it’s not like he’s THAT much older than you. Plus it’s just fucking.

Yep, I’m going for it.

You gather the towel around your body loosely, hooking your swimsuit on your finger and twirling it happily as you head into the house, determined to confront him and then seduce him. When you head up the stairs he’s standing in the doorframe of his office, just across from the spare bedroom you’re occupying. He looks deliciously pissed, one arm propped above his head on the door frame, the other on his hip, knee popped out. Your pussy flutters at the thought of his large, angry body above yours.

The opening bars of Jeremy fill the silence between you two, almost daring the other to make the first move.

“Turn that off,” Joel snaps. “I’m working.”

“Didn’t look like you were working a few minutes ago,” you say back, matching his energy.

Joel’s eyes narrow, brows furrowing, but you can tell he’s fighting to keep his eyes on yours. You lick your lips, testing him, teasing him, pushing him to see if he’ll take the bait. The flick of his eyes to your lips happens so quickly you almost miss it.

You let out a scoff, “Ya, that’s what I thought.” You step towards him, so close that you can smell the coffee and sawdust on him. “Wanna take a break from all that work?” You say the word work teasingly, trying to entice him.

“Go to your room and put some clothes on. Don’t let me catch you naked in the backyard again,” He says deeply, then closes his office door in your face.

You smirk to yourself, dropping the towel at his door and wandering into your room leaving the door wide open. You hook your phone to the Bluetooth speaker as you lay on your bed completely naked. You hit the volume button and slip your hand between your legs, rubbing your clit in fast, little circles.

“Daddy didn’t give no affection, no

And the boy was something that Mommy wouldn’t wear

King Jeremy the wicked

Oh, ruled his world”

Joel whips his office door open looking absolutely furious. His breath catches in his throat at the sight of you. Bare, wide open, and soaking wet. You don’t stop, don’t even bother to look his way, as you dip your fingers into your pussy and cry out his name. Joel steps into your room and hits the power button on your speaker. The only sounds that film the room are your moans and the squelching of your arousal as your fingers slip in and out of your pussy.

“What the fuck did I just say, little girl?” Joel says darkly.

You open your eyes to look at him and the expression on his face sends your heart into your stomach. You’ve always been a little bit of a brat, getting in trouble lots growing up. Truthfully, you like the rush of it, the adrenaline of the unknown. But Joel looks dangerous, eyes blown out with rage and lust, hands clamped into fists at his sides, a slight blush pinks his cheeks, lips in a tight line.

You sit up, crossing your legs and covering yourself with a pillow as you turn towards him. You’re suddenly not feeling so confident, you may have pushed the wrong man.

“Y-you said outside,” you start, your voice wavering. “I’m inside.”

Joel moves so quickly that you don’t even have time to register what’s happening as the pillow is ripped from your grip and disposed of on the floor in front of you. You’re bare and exposed to him again.

“Spread your legs,” he says hungrily, voice a raspy whisper.

He watches your throat as you swallow hard, leaning back on your elbows and planting your feet on the edge of the bed. You look at him tentatively, jumping and letting out a little squeal when he barks, “I said spread your fucking legs.”

You relax, letting your knees fall open. His breathing is rapid, a growling moan leaving his parted lips. He takes one step, his knees hitting the edge of the bed.

“Joel -” you start.

“Shut up. You knew what you were doing, you wanted this. Didn’t you?”

“Y-Yes, but…” his hand slaps the inside of your thigh and your knees slam together as you cry out.

“Spread. Your fucking. Legs,” he repeats in a slow and deep command.

“That hurt!” You say back, squeezing your knees together tighter. It feels like he set fire to your thigh and you can already see the red handprint forming.

“If you’re gonna act like a little brat, I’m going to treat you like one. Now spread your legs so I can hit the other one.” He raises an eyebrow at you cockily. “If you keep them open, I might reward you.” You’ve bit off more than you can chew with Joel Miller.

You take in a calming breath through your nose, relaxing your knees as you exhale slowly. Joel can see the milky, sticky strings of your arousal as your pussy lips spread open for him. He has to swallow the excess saliva that pools in his cheeks at the sight. He wants to taste you so fucking badly.

“I think you liked it,” he taunts. “You’re makin’ a mess, you like being slapped around, don’t you? Treated like a little whore.”

Before you can respond he lays a hard smack on your other thigh. Your hips involuntarily buck upwards, your head falling back and a moaning, whimpering cry you don’t recognize as your own leaves your lips. You focus on your knees, fighting against your body’s instincts, keeping them pushed into the mattress.

“That’s what I thought,” he says as he kneels in front of you and yanks your ass to the edge of the bed. “Think you should get a reward now?”

“Y-yes, please, Joel. Please!” You have never had to beg for sex before, boys your age are usually fired up and ready to go, but men of Joel’s age know sex is so much more than just penetration - it’s a game, a tease.

He bites down on your thigh, “Please. Please, Joel!”

“You smell so fucking good,” he says as his hooked nose trails down your little line of pubic hair. You squirm under him as your clit twitches, aching for his attention. “And so goddamn wet. My little whore, aren’t ya?” His warm breath hits your needy clit and you flop down onto the bed, whining in need.

“Please -” but your words are cut off by the front door opening and Sarah’s voice calls through the house.

“Everyone can celebrate, I’m home now!!!” She yells jokingly.

“Fuck!” Joel huffs under his breath and bolts for his office, kicks your towel and swimsuit into your room, you follow and click your door shut quietly.

“Hello?” Sarah calls, heading up the stairs.

“Just getting dressed,” you call through your closed door. “I think your dad is in a meeting.”

“Put on your swimsuit, it’s gorgeous outside!”

Taglist

@corazondebeskar @hiddenbabynyc @rainstorms-library @smutsmutslut @sullyrocky44

@keylimebeag @pimosworld @casa-boiardi @pedritoferg @paleidiot

@javierpena-inatacvest @blazeflays @akah565 @pinkiec6-rubi @pedroshotwifey

@lorilane33 @pansexual-potatoes @jessthebaker @jasminedragoon @koshkaj-blog

@pedroswife69 @strawberri-blonde @none-of-this-makes-any-sense @iloveenya

@iluvurfather @ashleyfilm @mermaidgirl30 @untamedheart81

[kyoghurts]

TO KILL THE VIBRANT ꮼ lemon irvine.

it feels like i've fallen for you completely, maybe it's best that you can't be here. angst | gn reader | drabble.

vibrant is when you see lemon irvine gleefully rambling something about tomorrow being exciting and fun for her in this tired afternoon with soft rain gently making its presence known through the drum on your rooftop and coloring your windows gray. she holds your hand and clings to it every so often as she mentions a certain someone, his name on her tongue like a prayer; her eyes so bright that stars could never rival. and her wish to be with the name her mouth could ever so sweetly utter is bigger than that of your heart slowly writhing in pain.

vibrant is when there's hope that flicker and never fickle in the sun that is lemon irvine. hoping that someday you'll understand the spark that comes with her touches, leaving trails of herself on your skin like the syrup-soaked pancake she made for all of her friends and one for you softening around roof of your tongue. hoping that someday you won't have to curse out the certain someone whenever you see her with him. hoping that someday…someday, as if it would fall to you willingly, as if she would look in your direction at any point—which completely obliterates everything that she holds dear—someday she'll see the look that you have because it's the look that she gives to mash fucking burnedead and you know damn well it will never be you.

vibrant is when there is a surging impulse coursing your bloodstream once you see the book series she's been eyeing for months and you snatch it without hesitation, because you're sure she'd love it, because you're sure of your feelings that sit in your heart like a badge free from its burdens. because in lemon, everything else is elevated. and it's not like she'll know the existence of your feelings, for months you've emptied your lungs of the suffocating air you were subjecting yourself to breathe, for months you slowly accept that you will always be what you have always been:

"a very sweet & good friend of mine!"

her voice, god, you could listen to it all day. enough to lift off the weights pulling you down, enough to be the warmth like the sun to the moon (you). so what if you're just a friend? so what if she doesn't see you the way you see her? so what if the world doesn't place itself at your hands and you could've got what you wanted if things had been different? so what if you're not the reason that the vibrant exists?

so what if you could only admire but not touch the rays of sun because she's not yours?

the words written in a handwriting slightly twisted from its origin, preventing the receiver from recognizing them, is an act of protection. you are not capable of dimming the vibrant, you cannot kill the sun, you cannot risk lemon catching onto these wretched feelings of yours. so, you protect them instead, for both of you. this confession letter of yours doesn't disclose its sender; it is neatly tucked into her desk, alone, not for any eyes to see. only hers. only her soft citrine eyes.

"woah! what's this?"

you hear her voice from the other side of the wall. you don't see it, but you can feel the smile forming on her pretty lips, her hands that flail around when she gets excited—that earns a quiet chuckle from you. cute, she's cute.

"oh my…its a love letter." your hands clench unconsciously, your teeth sinking itself on your bottom lip with harshness as if to punish yourself for doing this. everything about liking lemon feels so wrong. you need to stop.

you hear soft sniffs and crying feebly. "aaa, its…really sweet and genuine." your eyes start to feel melting hot, it glistens under the dusky room. its just you, all alone, not really for the eyes to see.

(not for hers to see, too.)

"i wonder who sent this. i wish they could at least give a clue."

you remove yourself from the wall, not wanting to hear beyond what you are only allowed. you walk out with your cheeks damp, a frown that signifies the death of the vibrant inside you.

"it seems like they know me a lot, too. hm…"

"…i can understand why they'd leave it anonymous."

"yeah, i…i think i get it. and they know my answer already. i'm sorry…"

"i'm sorry." she mumbles your name, hushed. "and thank you. i promise i'll keep this safe and hidden. because you're my sweet, sweet friend. always have, i don't want that to change."

tags. @seneon lawl surprise

notes. breaking news: @kyoghurts will now be at their angst writing season. goodluck handling the heartache. stay strong (˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶ ) ੭

© kyoghurts. ★ reblogs & likes are well appreciated!

[friendlylilslime]

Shin ran a hand through his fluffy strawberry blonde hair as he wrapped up his shift at the hair salon in the heart of Tokyo. Another day, another set of hairstyles done meticulously. He sighed, feeling the weight of the day slowly lift off his shoulders as he put away his tools.

As he slipped his phone out of his pocket, a text from Emma lit up the screen.

"Drinks tonight?" it read. He hesitated, violet eyes scanning the message. Despite the tempting offer, he just wasn't in the mood, especially not with the company of someone he harbored unrequited feelings for.

Instead, his fingers tapped out a familiar number—M!y/n number. He pressed the phone to his ear, waiting for a response.

"Hey, it's me. Mind if I swing by tonight?" he said casually, his deep voice betraying none of the thoughts swirling in his mind. He needed to get his mind off of Emma... again.

"yeah come swing by, I gotta clean up at the cafe a bit so I'll be a bit late. Just let yourself into my house you have a key" M!y/n tells shin. Cleaning up around the cafe he owns.

"Cool, I'll be there," Shin replied, a hint of relief in his voice as he hung up the phone.

He glanced at the clock—the late afternoon sun streamed through the salon windows, casting long shadows across the floor. Plenty of time to kill.

Shin took a deep breath, steeling himself as thoughts of Emma flickered through his mind. He grabbed his stuff from his locker before heading out into the evening air.

The walk to M!y/n house was a familiar one. He had been over plenty of times before.

As he approached M!y/n house, Shin fished the spare key from his pocket.

He unlocked the door and stepped inside, instantly enveloped by the familiar scent of M!y/n home. It was a welcoming aroma, a mix of spices and something faintly floral that always soothed his senses.

Shin shut the door behind him with a soft click, toeing off his shoes before wandering further into the house. He made his way to the living room, plopping down on the couch and making himself comfortable.

30 minutes go by until shin hears the front door opening. "I'm home. Hopefully I didn't make you wait long shin" M!y/n says putting down his bag on the countertop walking over to the couch falling onto it.

"Just got here," Shin replied with a wave of his hand, his gaze fixed on M!y/n as he flopped down beside him. The tension in his shoulders eased slightly as M!y/n's presence filled the room.

He studied M!y/n for a moment. The weariness in his face from a long day at the cafe, yet a hint of a smile tugged at the corner of his lips.

"How was work?" Shin asked, his voice laced with a casual curiosity.

Peeking up from the spot he lays M!y/n looks at shin. "Was ok. That bitch Janet came into the cafe and started speaking shit about god. Like talk about him but don't force it so much" M!y/n continues to rant about Janet while moving around to put his head in shins lap.

A smirk tugged at Shin's lips as he listened to M!y/n rant about Janet, amused by his passionate frustration.

"Sounds like you dealt with a real piece of work today," Shin replied, his hand automatically finding its way to M!y/n's hair. He chuckled at how M!y/n always managed to end up with his head on his lap, as if it were the most natural thing in the world.

"oh you have no idea! Like damn let me have my quiet peaceful day at work. I'm so tempted to hire a security guard or something because the amount of times this happens. Anyways how was work for you?"

Shin chuckled, his fingers resuming their familiar pattern as he played with M!y/n's hair. It was a comforting rhythm, a simple act of affection between them.

"Work was... work. Nothing out of the ordinary," he replied, a nonchalant shrug in his voice. His mind momentarily drifted to the text from Emma, the weight of his unrequited feelings for her never fully disappearing.

But here, with M!y/n, those thoughts receded, if only for a moment.

M!y/n hums. "Whatcha wanna do? Wanna chill and watch something or you wanna do something else?"

Shin considered the question, his gaze wandering to M!y/n lying comfortably in his lap. A wave of contentment washed over him.

"Let's just chill," he replied, his hand tracing a gentle path through M!y/n's hair. "I'm not in the mood to do much tonight."

His expression remained nonchalant, a mask skillfully crafted over years. But in the privacy of this moment, a hint of vulnerability flickered in his violet eyes.

"alrighty then" M!y/n sits up reaching for the remote control for the TV before laying back down to where he was before. Scrolling through Netflix to find something to watch. "Anything you want specifically? Because if not you know I'm gonna want some anime" M!y/n says with a chuckle.

"No surprise there," Shin replied with a smirk, rolling his eyes jokingly. "You always gotta have your anime fix, huh?"

He knew there was no changing M!y/n's mind once he had his mind set on anime. He shrugged, a hint of amusement in his voice.

"Go for it," he said. "But you know I'm barely going to pay attention."

M!y/n glaces at shin staring at his face for a second noticing something was up. Probably about Emma again he thinks to himself. He can't help but be jealous of the girl. Yes he's known shin,Emma and itsuomi all since highschool none of them know he's not even straight. Looking back towards the TV he picks an anime he's been wanting to watch for awhile.

As the anime came on, Shin settled back against the couch, his mind wandering despite the show playing before his eyes. He was more invested in his thoughts, his emotions, and the weight of his unrequited feelings for Emma.

M!y/n's glance earlier had not gone unnoticed, and Shin felt a pang of guilt at the thought that it might be obvious what - or who - was on his mind. He tried to focus on the screen, but his thoughts continued to stray, always circling back to Emma.

M!y/n noticing shin zoning out he silently grabs his hand fidgeting with shins fingers. His ring sending a cold shiver down shins spine. "I'm to lazy to make something, what you wanna order?" M!y/n says pulling his phone out.

Shin's gaze shifted away from the screen, his thoughts momentarily interrupted by the sensation of M!y/n's cold fingers intertwined with his own. The chill from the ring helped pull him back to the present, if only for a moment.

"Order whatever," he replied, with a shrug. "I'm craving pizza, but I'm fine with anything."

He squeezed M!y/n's hand gently, a silent thank you for bringing him back from the depths of his thoughts.

"what kind of pizza do you want?" M!y/n asks tapping onto the site to order pizza. Automatically putting ice tea for a drink.

"Supreme pizza," he replied, the thought of pizza instantly making his stomach grumble.

As M!y/n placed the order for the pizza, he couldn't help but notice the ice tea. He gave him a sidelong glance.

"You always order ice tea, don't you?" Shin said, his voice tinged with amusement. "When are you going to try something different for once?"

"hey ice tea is good! Plus you know I don't like any of the other drinks they have at this place" M!y/n argues back towards shin, his voice obviously admitting a teasing undertone.

"Yeah, yeah, I know," Shin retorted, unable to suppress a smirk. "You've made it abundantly clear how much you dislike soda, juice, and every other non-iced beverage in existence." He chuckled, enjoying their playful banter.

"One of these days, I'm going to get you to try something new," he teased, poking M!y/n playfully in the side.

Sticking his tongue out towards shin he checks his phone making sure the order is confirmed. "20 minutes it says until it arrives" he says putting his phone back down.

Shin's eyes flicked towards M!y/n as he confirmed the order, a faint smile on his face. The playful exchange had lifted his spirits, if only slightly. He let out a sigh, the weight of his thoughts momentarily forgotten.

"20 minutes, huh? Just enough time for me to finish zoning out," he replied, his voice tinged with dry humor.

M!y/n stares up at shin with a frown on his face. Playfully smacking shin in the face with his hand. "Stop that" M!y/n says

Shin chuckled, feigning an exaggerated pain from the playful smack. "Hey, what was that for?" he said, attempting to look offended.

He quickly dropped the act, breaking into a light laugh. "Fine, fine, I won't zone out," he agreed, unable to keep the amusement out of his eyes.

"I don't understand why you keep liking her" M!y/n says quitely looking towards the TV blocking his eyes from view with his hair

Shin paused, his smile faltering slightly at M!y/n's words. He knew exactly who 'her' was—Emma.

The casual question held an underlying hint of something more, a glimpse into M!y/n's thoughts on the matter. Shin could sense the tinge of jealousy, even if it was subtle.

He sighed, his eyes flickering from the TV to M!y/n's face, concealed behind a curtain of hair.

"It's... complicated," he replied, his voice barely above a whisper.

"you've liked her for years shin. How can you keep up with it. She never looks in your direction, she only ever goes to you to get drunk or to rant about how isoemi won't pay attention to her. You have to take care of yourself for once as well" M!y/n trails off. Admitting a sad tone to his voice. His eyes tear up but his hair still covers his eyes. Why does he have to like her so much. Damn it I'm right here. I'm here, I'm always here. He thinks off to himself desperately wanting shin to know he's there. His own words contradict itself, because he himself has loved shin for years.

Shin's features softened, his smile wavering at M!y/n's words. The raw emotion in his voice hit him like a punch in the gut.

*Damn it.*

He clenched his fists, guilt creeping in at the realization of how he'd been so oblivious. For years, he'd been so consumed by his unrequited feelings for Emma that he hadn't noticed...

"I... I know," he finally replied, his voice low. "I know, okay? But it's not that easy to just... let go."

Still looking away from shin trying to hold back his tears, M!y/n stays silent. He's not even paying attention to the TV at all. His hands still interlocked with shin, M!y/n's hand trembling.

The tremble in hands was a stark contrast to his usual confident demeanor.

Shin's heart clenched at the sight. He had never seen M!y/n like this, vulnerable and on the verge of tears.

He gently squeezed M!y/n's hand, his thumb rubbing over his knuckles in a soothing gesture.

"Hey," he said softly, his voice barely above a whisper. "Look at me."

"no" M!y/n voice cracked. Not wanting shin to see him crying.

A mix of guilt and concern washed over Shin. Seeing M!y/n like this, so unlike his usual self, stung more than he cared to admit.

He reached out, gently lifting M!y/n's chin, trying to make their eyes meet.

"Please," he insisted, his voice filled with a mixture of earnestness and tenderness that he normally kept hidden. "Look at me."

Finally making eye contact with shin. His tears very obvious to the other man staring at him. His throat tightens, His tears running down his face

Shin's heart sank at the sight of tears streaming down M!y/n's face. He looked more vulnerabe than ever, a stark contrast to his usual confident and carefree persona.

He reached up, wiping the tears away with a gentle touch, his thumb tracing a feather-like path over M!y/n's cheek.

"Please don't cry," Shin pleaded, his voice almost a whisper. "Seeing you like this... it's killing me."

"why, why do you love her so much" M!y/n says with a trembling and cracky voice. Bringing his hands to try and wipe away his tears off his face

Shin's heart squeezes at the vulnerability in M!y/n's voice, the raw pain in his question.

He hesitates for a moment, trying to find the words to explain his feelings, words that he himself has trouble understanding.

"It's... complicated," he starts, his voice barely above a whisper. "Emma and I have been friends for so long, and my feelings for her have just... grown over time."

"what about me." M!y/n says quitely, shin almost didn't catch it

Shin tenses at M!y/n's words, his body going rigid.

He had been so focused on his own feelings for Emma that he had never truly considered the impact it might have on M!y/n. They were friends, sure, but the question he just asked held so much more weight, so much more meaning.

He takes a deep breath, his heart pounding in his chest.

"What about you?" he asks, his voice wavering slightly.

M!y/n sits up facing towards shin "damnit get the hint you oblivious fool. I like you! I'm not straight ok" M!y/n says with an angry tone. Tears flowing down his face.

Shin's eyes widen in surprise. The raw emotion and confession in M!y/n's voice hit him like a punch to the gut.

He sits there, frozen, his brain struggling to process the sudden revelation.

"You... you like me?" he finally manages to sputter out, his voice barely above a whisper.

M!y/n eyes widen. Realizing he just confessed his feelings. Looking down at the floor. The doorbell rings, it's the pizza.

Quickly standing up he walks towards the door looking through the peep hole waiting for the delivery man to walk back to his car to snatch the pizza. Once the driver is back in his car he opens the door and grabs the bag with the pizza and bottle of ice tea.

Shin watches in silence as M!y/n gets the pizza, his mind still spinning from the whirlwind confession. As M!y/n returns with the pizza, he remains quiet, his usual nonchalant demeanor abandoned.

He finally breaks the silence, his voice low.

"You... you like me," he repeats, more to himself than to M!y/n.

Bring over the pizza and setting it down on the table in front of the couch. M!y/n sits on the floor in front of shin. " Yeah I do" he says quitely.

Taking the paper plates out of the bag and the ice tea as well he discards the bag off to the side. Opening the box of pizza and putting a slice on each plate, handing the other plate to shin.

Shin accepts the plate, his fingers lingering on M!y/n's longer than necessary.

He can't help but notice the change in the atmosphere; it's heavier now, the confession hanging between them like an unanswered question.

"Why..." he starts, his voice trailing off. "Why didn't you tell me before?"

"you liked Emma. You loved her so much you broke yourself basically. I'm a guy as well, I don't even think you like guys. I'll just be a burden to you and bring down your reputation with your work as well" M!y/n trails off. Not facing towards shin but instead at the TV, not even paying attention to it his heartbeat sounds so loud in his ears. He's hyper aware of shin sitting behind him.

Shin's heart twists in his chest at M!y/n's words. He was so focused on his own heartache over Emma that he had missed what was right in front of him.

He leaned forward, his voice low and filled with a mixture of guilt and regret, and something else... something he couldn't quite name.

"You're not a burden," he said, almost pleading. "You could never be a burden to me. And who cares about my reputation?" He paused, his voice wavering.

Sitting there M!y/n seems a bit stunned. "You don't.. hate me?'

"Hate you?" Shin repeated back, a hint of disbelief in his voice. The thought of hating M!y/n seemed absurd to him.

He scooted closer, closing the small distance between them. He longed to touch M!y/n, to reassure him, but he felt paralyzed by the weight of the emotions in the air.

"Why would you even think that?" he asked, his voice softer, more vulnerable than usual.

Leaning back towards shin so his back is against shins legs, raising his his hands to hold onto the arms wrapped around him. "Honestly I don't know. You never seemed to be interested in me at all or into anyone for that matter. I was scared you would hate me because I liked you"

"Scared of me hating you because you like me...?" Shin repeated, his mind still reeling. his arms around M!y/n bringing him even closer.

The confession stung more than he cared to admit. All this time, he had been blissfully ignorant, focused on his own unrequited feelings for Emma, while M!y/n had been harboring his own feelings for him.

"The truth is..." Shin began, his voice low and tinged with a hint of shame. "I've been so caught up in my own feelings for Emma, I never stopped to consider... This."

He trailed off, his fingers idly tracing patterns on M!y/n's arms, the physical contact between them sending shivers down his spine.

"I know" M!y/n says quitely. "I know" he repeats

A pang of guilt twists in Shin's chest at M!y/n's words. He had been so oblivious, so oblivious to the fact that someone as amazing as M!y/n had been right there, hiding his own feelings and putting up with his one-sided pursuit of Emma.

He tightened his grip around M!y/n, the urge to pull him closer overwhelming.

"I'm a fool," he muttered, his voice barely above a whisper. "A complete fool."

"you are such a fool. But you're my oblivious fool" M!y/n says with a light chuckle

Shin huffs out a laugh at M!y/n's words, the sound both humorless and self-deprecating.

"Yeah, I guess I am," he replied, his voice filled with a mix of regret and amusement.

His fingers continue to trace patterns on M!y/n's arms, the soothing motion grounding him. "Can I ask you something?" he said after a moment of silence.

M!y/n hums to acknowledge he's listening. Reaching his hand to grab shins hand as well

Shin's heart skipped a beat as M!y/n's hand wrapped around his own, their fingers intertwining. He took a deep breath, steeling himself for the question he was about to ask.

"How long... have you felt like this," he started, his voice barely above a whisper. "About me, I mean."

Trying to think how long it's been really makes M!y/n realize how long it's actually been "since highschool"

Shin's eyes widen at M!y/n's response. Since highschool. All this time, M!y/n had been harboring feelings for him, silently watching him chase after Emma like a fool. A wave of guilt washes over him, a mix of regret and sorrow.

He tightened his grip on M!y/n's hand. "That long?" he asked, his voice hoarse.

"it's as long as you've liked Emma"

Shin closed his eyes, his heart heavy with the weight of the revelation. All this time... The same amount of time he's been foolishly chasing after Emma, M!y/n has been by his side, quietly nursing his own feelings for him.

He opened his eyes, looking down at their intertwined hands. "Why didn't you say anything?" he asked, his voice barely above a whisper.

"like I said I was scared. And I had hope Emma would one day like you back. You loved her so much I thought you two would be good together but she never looked your way." Trailing off his sentence he finally leans his head back looking at shin.

Shin's heart clenched at M!y/n's words. The hope... the wishful thinking that maybe one day, Emma would reciprocate his feelings. But that day never came, and all the time he's been chasing her, he had been blind to the person who truly cared for him.

He met M!y/n's gaze, his own eyes filled with a mixture of guilt and remorse. "I'm sorry," he murmured.

"so what're you going to do now that I've confessed. Are you just going to stay friends or can we try being together and go on a date?"

Shin's heart skipped a beat at M!y/n's words. The thought of being more than friends, of being together with him, sent a thrill through him that he couldn't ignore.

A soft smile tugged at the corners of his lips, his grip on M!y/n's hand tightening. "I'd... I'd like that," he said, his voice barely above a whisper. "I'd like to give this... us... a chance."

LITTLE ANGSTY BUT I HOPE YOY LIKE IT. Also I accidentally did the poll and idk how to remove it 😅

[pinkjoy-cons]

A Little Something Different

Pairing: Shu Lyn O'Keefe x F!Reader

Word Count: 4788

Warnings: 18+ (MDNI) lingerie, oral (Male receiving), deep throating, dry humping, use of collar/makeshift leash, spanking, light degregation, Dom Shu (is that a warning?), slight OOC for (maybe) cowgirl, slight bondage (kinda? not really), aftercare. Let me know if I missed anything

A/N: Backing up from my old blog :)

This was a mistake. 

This was a mistake.

This was a COMPLETE mistake!

Those words were the only things going through your head as you hastily walked through the streets. Even though no one else knew what you had in the inconspicuous bag clutched in your hand, you couldn't help but avoid eye contact with the people you passed. It was ridiculous really, you were a grown ass woman for crying out loud. Paying taxes, getting drunk, paying your own damn bills. You can make purchases like this if you wanted to. Right?

"Yes, of course I can!" You whisper yelled to yourself as you waited for a taxi to take you back to your shared home. Honestly you were worried about nothing. You bought the damn items. The lady at the shop was kind enough to help you pick them out. She even went as far to say you would look drop dead gorgeous. 

"If the man you wear this for doesn't appreciate it, then come back here and I'll worship you sweetie." It was a joke and it did give you confidence, but it still wasn't enough to kill all the doubt that plagued your thoughts. But the time for doubt would have to be put on the back burner because the taxi arrived and you had to give the driver your address. 

The sun was setting as you made it to the home, mansion really, you shared with your five friends and boyfriend. That was another thing plaguing your thoughts. You shared a house. THEY'RE GONNA FIGURE IT OUT! God how could you be so stupid! This whole plan hinged on them being none the wiser as you get absolutely railed by Shu. 

Being intimate with Shu wasn't difficult, per day. It's just that. Usually it would just be a soft kind of love making. Nothing too crazy that would result in side eye glances from any of the other boys or from Teuta. Which was nice. If they suspected anything, they either kept their mouths shut out of respect for you or from threats from said scary boyfriend. Going to a motel didn't feel right in this situation. And a hotel would have been too expensive for the night; not to mention how the hell were you supposed to convince your hitman boyfriend to go to a hotel room at night without having him get suspicious?

"We're here, miss." The driver cut through all her panicked thoughts, YN heaved a heavy sigh. After paying, she walked to the gates and to the front door. 

It was a quiet afternoon. Mozu, Limbo and the others sat along the couch watching whatever was on the TV while Teuta edited her next article from her laptop.

"Oh!" She looked up from her screen when she heard you place your keys on the kitchen island. "You were out for a bit, did you find all that you needed."

"Huh? Oh yeah, I did." You made a subtle gesture to the bag you had a death grip on. 

"You were out for hours and all you got to show is one bag?" Crow asked. "That must have been one hell of a shopping trip." Even though he was curious about the item in question, he didn't make an effort to move from the couch. The person who did want to know more was Helavicta the nosy bastard. 

He approached and came too close for your comfort at the moment, "You seem to be grabbing that bag for dear life, what's inside?" He made an effort to peak but you held the bag closer to you and lightly slapped his hand. It wasn't enough to draw the attention of the others but it was enough for him to be a little shocked at your actions. 

He was about to question it but he got a closer look at you. 

Breath was a bit shallow, hands shaking with nerves, and more importantly he noted, eyes wide. Partly with nerves but he could tell there was a type of excitement he could see. That paired with the flush to your skin, it didn't take a genius to guess what was in the bag. 

"Hmmm. I see. Well then." He patted your head and you cringed at the smirk he proudly wore. "I take it that you'd like to go to your room and rest, yes?" You nodded. "And I'm sure you're not hungry and wouldn't like to be disturbed for the rest of the evening?"

"Yes please." He read you like a book. That and how he knew your room was just across the way from Shu's, he was giving you an out. 

He smiled, it was one that said he would be an annoying tease and hold this over your head for a long time. "Hmmm, okay. I'll be sure to let the others know. And you should hurry," Helavicta whispered "You need to get ready, Shu will be home soon."

She couldn't even muster a thank you as her feet moved without her telling them to move. 

Being scot free, you closed the door to Shu's room. Now all you need to do is get ready. You borrow his shower just to give your body a good rinse from being out all day. Your hair actually looked good so you didn't mess with that. Getting out of the shower you dried off and looked at the bag you left on the sink. It's now or never.

Inside the bag was the set of lingerie you bought for the evening. It wasn't something that you'd ever think that Shu would like. He's constantly said he likes his woman to be more mature even before you guys started dating. You remember the drunken conversations you all had about the "ideal partner" but damn it this set was just too cute to pass up. It was a cow lingerie set. The thigh highs had black trimming at the tops with a sheer black ribbon and the main pattern was the black and white cow pint. The set also had a tie on micro bikini top and bottom that barely covered your pussy and breasts. With one wrong move,  would cause them to spill from the flimsy triangle pieces of cloth also adorn with the classic cow pattern. 

But what you thought Shu would love best was black leather choker with an O ring. 

Stilling your nerves, you put on all the pieces and for a brief moment, you were shocked. You looked absolutely sexy and cute! Adorable even, if that was possible. With newfound confidence, you made your way out of the bathroom and onto his bed kneeling and lightly playing with your nipples through the fabric of the top. 

You knew how much he hated it when you started without him but fuck it! You were feeling bold right now. No amount of alcohol could make you feel this powerful. However, as time passed, the minutes felt like hours and you began to fall once more into that well of doubt. 

He'll hate this. He's probably tired and doesn't even wanna do anything right now. What if he laughs at me!

All the different what-if scenarios flooded over your wall of confidence and you panicked. Quickly, you grabbed a pillow and held it over your body. Trying to figure out what to do next you didn't hear the voice or the footsteps coming closer and closer to the door. Not until it opened and Shu stood there in utter shock seeing you on your haunches covering yourself with a pillow did you realize it was far too late to do anything. 

Fuck was all you could think as he continued to stand by the door. A few seconds passed (but to you it felt like a lifetime) before he crossed the threshold of his room, closed the door, and locked it. All the while not taking his eyes off you. 

Clutching the pillow harder you looked down in hopes of just being eaten alive by the sheets beneath you. Slow footsteps approached the bed and only when they stopped did you look up to see Shu's still unreadable expression.

"Um. I-I can explain." You start, pillow being the only form of comfort you saw at the moment, "I know this isn't something we normally…do. But I just thought that it was so cute in the window as I passed the shop. I kept seeing when I went to work and-and I kept thinking about wearing this for you but-," through all your rambling you realized that tears threatened to spill from your eyes.

Shu gently reached to hold your face. The sudden touch startled you, but the familiar feeling of his rough, gentle hands calmed you to stop rambling. "What you're wearing," he began, "You got it for me?" Shu licked his lips and did everything in his power to hold back the smirk he wanted to show. 

When you didn't give an answer he leaned in a bit closer. "On your knees, baby." You did as you were told, kneeling on the bed and damn if he didn't just wanna praise you for being such a good girl for him. He reached for the pillow to move the bothersome item out of the way. The grip you had lessened, so he took that as the okay to toss it at the foot of the bed. 

God look at her. 

Shu's mind ran wild at the beauty that kneeled on his bed. The fabric cuts deliciously into the skin of your thighs, hips, and breasts. He swallows thickly as he takes in all that you are. You were a goddess to him even in this lingerie set. It all made his cock jump in his pants. The cherry on top what just how fucking flustered you were at everything. You were refusing to make eye contact with him but you greedly enjoyed the scrutiny at which he took you in. If the way you rubbed your thighs together and how your fingers not-so-subtly grazed over your nipples. 

He forced you to look at him, lifting your chin, "I asked you a question babygirl. You wore this for me?"

You wanted to give a straight answer, but something about the smug smile he failed at keeping down pissed you off just a bit, "Well, obviously I wore it for you. You don't see me parading in this in the living-," before you could finish your snide remake, a large palm made sharp contact with your ass. 

You gasped and Shu took the opportunity to grab the O ring on your neck to pull you closer to him. Your chest was against his and the grip he had on your ass made you squirm.

"You wanna try that again?" A knock on the door caused you to gasp. You tried to move away but Shu held you firmly against him. 

"Shu," It was Helavicta, "I convinced everyone to go out for dinner. We won't be back for a while. I know you're tired so I'll let you stay home."

"Fine." Was all he called out before footsteps retreated. “Now, who did you wear this for?” The hand on your ass inched forward and his long fingers began to graze over your covered pussy and you shuttered. It was an action that didn’t go unnoticed by Shu. His middle finger pushed a bit harder and you gasped out an answer.

“You. I wore it for you, Shu.”

“Hmm.” He hummed and brought his lips down to yours. The kiss was sloppy and greedy. You wrapped your arms around his neck; fingernails grazing the hairs at the nape of his neck. Shu moved his finger away from your covered folds and paused just for a minute to hear you whine into the kiss before he started to grind his clothed cock against you. That whine turned into a desperate moan. His hips moved in controlled, tantalizingly slow waves. Every now and then, the clothed tip would catch between your thighs and rub deeper against you. You panted like a bitch in heat but you couldn’t help it because damn was Shu making you feel all kinds of things right now.

Shu, meanwhile, could only stare at the way you looked, a small smile gracing his face. You were stunning. Panting against his chest, covering your face and the small noises you made. “I wanna hear you baby.” He declared before he ducked his head against your neck so your mouth was right next to his ear. The moans you made now clear as day to him. “Be louder. No one’s home.” He spoke right before latching his lips against your neck to suck, kiss, and lick your skin. 

“Sh-Shu!” His name slipped past your lips as his attack on your neck and pussy didn’t stop. It was too much and you felt one hand spread your legs as his erection pressed further into your cunt. It drove you mad. 

Finally, he stopped. Both of your eyes were blown out with lust and your lips were beautifully swollen. The top, slightly askew and nipples hard from being rubbed against. “Do you want more?” You nodded with a fever and perked up at the implications. He smirked at your reaction, “I know you do, but, I still think you need to earn it.” He encouraged you to leave the bed and kneel on the floor. He reached into his side table drawer and put his hair up with his clips. Standing in front of you, you could see just how prominent his erection was and how there was wet stain where the tip was. 

I got that wet just from some dry humping!

Ignoring your embarrassment, you looked up at Shu as he sat down on the bed, knees spread enough for you to get between.

“Undo the zipper.” There was a pause, it just now struck you how forceful Shu was being with you tonight. It was a change of pace and very much not the norm when you guys had sex but seeing the way he watched you like a wolf hunting its prey. And how his demeanor just oozed this dominating energy, you absolutely didn’t hate it. You were taking too long for his liking however, because he hooked his finger around the ring on your choker and he yanked your face to his erection.

“I won’t ask again.” You made a mental note to test his patience on another night because right now you were focused on the fastest route that got his dick in your pussy. A shaky hand reached for his zipper and slowly undid it as you also grazed your hand against his clothed erection. He helped you a bit, lifting his hips up enough for you to lower his pants just enough. All the while he pushed his fingers in your hair, keeping it out of your face so he could see you clearly. 

Next, your fingertips played with the hem of his Calvin Klein boxer briefs. Soft touches against his skin, tracing the V lines that disappear into his Kleins. The grip he has on your hair becomes tighter, a warning that he was losing his patience. Hooking your fingers under the elastic, you finally bring the band low enough for his dick to spring out. You lick your lips and admire the delicious cock in front of you. Long, thick, and waiting for you to suck like the most delicious piece of candy. Shu noticed your lack of movement and he realized that you were waiting for him to tell you what to do next. It was such an adorable sight.

He held your cheek in his hand and whispered, “You want my cock?” You replied with a breathy yes and he smirked at your obedience. “Alright babygirl, but you're not allowed to touch yourself. Understand?”

“Okay.” After your response, he let your face go and immediately he felt those plush lips he craved kiss the tip of his dick. He felt your hands find purchase on his inner thighs to keep them spread as you made slow kisses down his erection. Your lips then kissed his balls and you looked right at him as you gave them a hard suck while one hand played with the tip of his cock. Even if Shu did his best to keep it together, only producing a soft sigh and leaning his head back, his body betrayed him as his hips bucked ever so slightly and you felt his cock released a bit of precum from your actions. You released his balls and licked your way back to the tip, taking it into your mouth and moving one hand to grip his base and give it a light squeeze. That intandum with the sucking and your doe eyes looking at him, Shu was in paradise. He gripped your hair and encouraged you to take him deeper. Doing as you were told, you hollow your cheeks and took him as much as you could; using your hand to jerk off what you couldn’t fit. But that didn’t seem enough for him.

“I know you can do it baby.” He praised you and brought his hips up and pushed the rest of himself in your mouth. It made you gag for a second before your relaxed your jaw. Your tongue felt the heft of his cock and how it twitched when it hit the back of your throat. With a mind of its own, your tongue began to lick around what it could. A moan broke through and caused a sensual vibration on his member. 

“Fuck, you take me so well in your mouth.” Shu threw his head back and led your head up and down his length. Both hands now found homes in your hair as he didn’t stop the slow movements. Drool fell down with your chin. One hand began to fondle his balls again. Using your nails to scrape against his sensitive skin. It was driving him fucking crazy and making you so wet you could feel it drip on your inner thighs. So lost in the heat of the moment, you forget his one rule. One hand made its way to your pussy and you began to rub and play with your folds. You pushed the bikini bottom to the side to get better access to your clit and began to barely push your fingers between your folds.  

Your pleasure didn’t last long because with a yank, you were forced off Shu’s dick and you started a coughing fit. Once you stopped, Shu grabbed the hand that was just on your pussy by the wrist and hooked his fingers through the ring to make you look up at him. The glare he gave you was one of a disappointed master. It was hot as hell and you rubbed your thighs together at how desperately you craved him between your legs. 

“What were you just doing?” His voice was low, dripping with lust, what you didn’t know was that he was glad you disobeyed the one rule.

“I was playing with my pussy.” He let go of the ring and gripped your face.

“You were playing with yourself after I told you not to.” He reconfirmed and you said a soft “I’m sorry'' before he tsked, “And to think I was praising you for sucking my dick so well. I was going to even reward you. You wanted me to fuck you the way you like it right?” You nodded, “You said yes but you finger yourself? Do you really think that your fingers are better than my cock?”

“No Shu I just-I needed it—”

“You were so fucking horny that you just had to finger fuck yourself? You want to come that badly needy girl?” Shu didn’t bother to wait for a response before pulling you off the ground and on to the bed. You laid on your stomach and Shu gave you a tender kiss behind your ear after moving your hair. “You okay?” It was a break in the moment but it made your heart swell to know that even though he could tell you absolutely were enjoying this, he still wanted to check in with you.

“Yes I’m fine.” He hummed. Taking his pants and boxer briefs all the way down he went to grab something from his dresser. A black tie is what he brought back and with it, he tied your arms together behind your back. 

“Shu?”

“Too tight?”

With a tug, you tested the tie. It was enough to keep your arms down without hurting you, “It’s fine.”

“Good.” He spanked your ass. You lurched forward gasping and moaning into the pain. You sunk your cheek into the bedsheets while Shu rubbed your ass. He helped you on the bed so you could face him. He began to take off his clothes while keeping eye contact. The red tie he kept loose on his vest was ripped off his person and looped through the O ring around your neck. Then, he removed the gray vest and tossed it somewhere among the rest of his clothes. The white button up was undone but it was left on. 

Shu joined you on the bed, grabbing on the red tie he brought you to him to kiss you fiercely. It was so passionate and lustful you thought you could melt into his lips. His tongue entered your mouth craving to dominate you more. The closeness of your bodies was enough for you to feel his full mast erection against your stomach. You craved to have it being either forced down your throat or deep into your fluttering cunt. He took a deep breath and teeth clashed from the intensity of it all. When he finally pulled away, there was a string of saliva connecting your tongues. What he did next shocked you. Normally at this point, he would lay you down. Either on your back or stomach and have his way with you, but this time, it was him who laid down on the bed. Shu recognized the confused expression and chuckled.

“Confused?” You could only blink, “Well, since my needy girl wants to fuck herself so badly, you can do it yourself.” He grabbed his dick staring at you with a smirk on his lips and slowly rubbing himself up and down. You were at a loss of words but at this point, you needed him inside of you. Hesitantly, you did your best to arrange yourself to straddle him, with his help. Shu moved your cow panties to the side and reached out for the red tie.

After what felt like forever, you finally sank yourself down onto Shu’s cock. 

“Fuuuuuck!” You nearly came just from the penetration. Walls fluttering against his twitching length both of you needed to catch your breaths. Despite the iron will he had, Shu wouldn’t deny that he was a bit sensitive as well. Your head was thrown back because he felt bigger than normal. Maybe you were sensitive, but his cock fit perfectly, filling you so nicely and the tip just kissing against your cervix. “Shu! Shu!” Already calling out his name without movement, it was pathetic really. But you didn’t care.

A tug against your neck brought your tear filled eyes back to the man below you, “Go on then, ride. Give me a show.” On shaky legs, you brought yourself up, a hiss left your lips to feel every vein against your lower lips. And with a heavy slam, you brought yourself down and you screamed. 

“GOD SHU!” 

Shu held back a groan, he expected you to go slow, not slam down so fast. He watched as you got lost in the movements of riding his thick cock. Your breasts bouncing in the triangle bikini top. The face you had was one of pure bliss. Incoherent praises and moans fell from your mouth. 

It felt like heaven, the only thing on your mind was feeling him plunge into you by your own doing. A sheen of sweat formed on your skin reflecting the moonlight that shone through the window of the night. Shu spanked your ass, a small encouragement followed by Keep going baby, you look so good. Keep bouncing.

“God! I-I don’t want to stop!” Exclaimed through the breaths and pants of your ecstasy, you couldn’t let up with the fast pace you started. You leaned forward and times, and you leaned back to feel the different angles his cock could pierce your insides. You were so sensitive with the need to cum that you could feel every ridge and curve of his cock as you fucked yourself on him.

Shu told you to give him a show, and damn if you didn’t deliver. You rode him with the intention of getting off; if the way you creamed his cock was any proof of that. He could tell you were chasing your high, maybe going too fast. 

Shu called out your name, both out of bliss and out of warning for you. He tugged and with a final plunge he felt your walls flutter and you screamed. You came so hard, your body almost fell on top of him. He caught you. A hand in your hair rubbing you softly. You panted heavily against his chest as he gave you small praises. He undid the tie on your arms and you wrapped them around his neck.

“You looked so beautiful, baby.” He kissed your forehead as you whined. Shu’s eyes went wide and he gasped when he felt you grind against his still prominent erection. “Hey you just came maybe-”

“No!” You whined, “I-I still want more.” You grabbed his face and gave him a hungry kiss. You moaned into the action and continued to grind in his lap despite your sensitive pussy begging for mercy. When the kiss finished you looked into his eyes and pouted, “Please?” You bounced in his lap, “Please fuck me Shu.”

At your request he thrusted into you and held you tighter as you gasped at the sudden action. He propositioned him to be in control and began to piston himself into you. “God. You really are a needy girl, fuck.” You held onto him as he wasn’t going to let up anytime soon, his stamina was better than yours and his ability to calm down so he wouldn’t come was a talent in its own right. 

Shu’s breaths and moans filled your ears along with the wet slapping of skin and you knew that neither party could take it for much longer. 

“Where? Tell me baby, where?”

“Inside, fuck please please please come inside me!” He reached between you to rub your clit fast and you squeezed his cock and came hard for a second time that night. A few more deep thrusts was all it took before he bottomed out and released, painting your warm walls. As this happened, Shu gave a low yet loud moan into your ear. 

Neither of you wanted to move and you let his dick get soft inside you before he pulled out, his cum following after. 

Shu laid you down and kissed your forehead. “I love you.” He said before he left to the bathroom. He came back with a washcloth and by then, you had regained a sense of self and could acknowledge your surroundings. 

“I love you too.” He smiled, wiping his cum from your pussy. You jolted slightly at the wet cloth and Shu used another cloth to wipe some sweat from your body. After, he sat you up to remove the top, bottom, thigh highs, and collar and gave you one of his old shirts for you to be comfortable in. You helped remove the top layer of bedding and layed in the fresh ones underneath. It was silent for a few seconds before you sheepishly spoke up. 

“Did…Did you have fun?”

Shu chuckled, “Fun? I guess that’s one word to describe what we just did. Yeah, I had fun.”

You snuggled closer to him a smile gracing your features at his comment.

“I wasn’t too rough with you was I?”

“Hmmm? No, you weren’t, I actually really enjoyed seeing that side of you. If anything…you could be more rough with me if you’d like?”

“Really?” He looked at you to see if you were joking, but the excited little nod you gave told him everything. “Good, because next time,” He held you closer to him so his lip grazed the shell of your ear, “I want to get a proper leash for that collar of yours.”

[ninjanervana]

Karma

Inspired by Taylor Swift's Midnights album

'Cause karma is my boyfriend

Karma is a god

Derek stumbled through the dark streets, only the light of the bright full moon above guiding him past the quiet buildings of the town. His eyes were unseeing, his mind miles away, fixed upon his family's home on the outskirts of their small town. He had said his goodbyes before he left to hunt as the sun rose that morning, but he never imagined the carnage he would find when he returned in the afternoon. His family had been slaughtered in their home, their bodies bleeding and cold across their property. No one was spared; from his grandmother to his youngest sister, everyone was slain. The Argent crest was painted upon their front door, as if Derek needed to be told who had committed this atrocity. He knew there might be repercussions when he refused the hand of Gerard Argent's eldest daughter, Kate, but he never imagined it would result in the deaths of his family.

The summer sun set upon him and the full moon rose as he dug into the soft soil and laid his family to rest. Splattered with the blood of his loved ones and the dirt of their graves, Derek walked along listlessly, no direction in mind and no one he could call upon for help, for fear of the Argents' retaliation. Once words spread of his family's demise, the townspeople would keep well away from him. If the Argents didn't find him first and murder him as well.

His knees buckled as his exhaustion finally overwhelmed him, sending him sprawling onto the ground at the bottom of some marble stairs. Looking up in confusion, Derek realized he had made his way to the temple of the old gods. Derek was not particularly devout, but his mother and grandmother were. He imagined it might have brought them some peace to know his body sought sanctuary at the temple, even if his mind hadn't made the decision. With a groan, he dragged his body up the three marble stairs before collapsing again, laying prostrate on the temple floor. 'I could die here,' he thought numbly. 'If the gods are as kind as Mother said, they would let me die now, let me be reunited with my family.' But as much as he longed to be with them, the thought of leaving his family's deaths unavenged left a sour taste in his mouth. 'I want to kill them all. I want to rip their limbs apart, I want to soak the earth in their blood,' he thought angrily. 'I want to become the creature that stalks them, let their terror echo through the centuries.'

"Be careful of what you wish for at the feet of the old gods," a voice teased from above him. "You do not know who listens to you and you do not know who will answer."

With a groan, Derek rolled onto his back, blinking tiredly at the man who stood above him with a tray balanced against his hip. If he had been in any fit mental state, Derek would have been taken with the attractive man, with his creamy skin dotted with moles, with his bright brown eyes, with his soft dark hair. But all he could do was continue blinking at the man as he struggled through his exhaustion. "Who-who are you?" he mumbled.

The man hummed softly, folding his legs to sit beside Derek's head. "Do not trouble yourself with names now," he replied, lifting a cloth from the tray and dipping it into a bowl of water. Wringing it out, he gently rubbed it against Derek's face, cleaning away the blood and the dirt. "You have had a most terrible night, Derek Hale," he said somberly, "and you have my sympathies for it. Tragedy is not an easy burden to bear."

"You know me?" he asked in confusion, his eyes closing as the cloth was brushed against them lightly.

"I know everyone," the man answered, his smile turning sharp for a moment. Setting the dirty cloth aside, he helped Derek sit up, watching him carefully for signs he would collapse again. Nodding in satisfaction, he handed Derek a metal cup from the tray. "Drink the wine; it will help."

"Thank you," he murmured as he took the cup with shaking hands. His eyes widened slightly as the wine hit his tongue, the taste warming him from the inside. He had never tasted such a wine, yet he couldn't have described the taste. He quickly drained the cup, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. "You have been kind to me. Are you a priest to this temple?"

The man laughed lightly, leaning back on his hands as he gazed up at the moon. "No, I am not a priest. But I am quite devoted to this temple you could say," he answered. "I am always here. Or almost always."

Derek frowned in concentration as he searched his memory for this man. It had been months since he had last come with his mother or grandmother to the temple, but he couldn't have forgotten such a person.

"As I said, do not trouble yourself with names now. What concerns us is what you want," the man responded, turning his gaze back to Derek. "You seek vengeance for your family's deaths, yes? You wish to rip apart the bodies of the murderers, to soak the earth with their blood." The man leaned forward, his smile turning sharp again. Derek could have sworn his eyes had flashed red for a split second. "You wish to be the creature that stalks them, that strikes terror in them for the rest of time. Is this what you want?"

The hairs stood up on the back of Derek's neck as he watched the man, the night air suddenly turning cold. "How could you know that?" he whispered. "I did not speak it;  how could you know? Who are you?"

"You do not need to speak for me to hear you, Derek Hale," he answered. "And I warned you of your wishes at the feet of the old gods. As for who I am, I am one who can fulfill your wishes. I can give you what you seek that you may avenge your family. But I do not give things for free; I demand a bargain."

Derek swallowed tightly, his hands clenching into fists to stop their shaking as the pieces fell into place in his mind. To be so casually in the presence of one of the old gods was exhilarating and terrifying. He knew one false move could be the end of him; while he was eager for it minutes earlier, he no longer wished to die. But a deal with the old gods was a dangerous thing. The stories his grandmother had told them as small children were filled with deals that had gone well as deals that had gone poorly. There was no guarantee that things would end in Derek's favor. But he knew the Argent family was a large one and he was only one person. He could not defeat them on his own and he did not have anyone left to call upon. No one but the gods. "I do not own much," he admitted, "but you can have anything that is mine to give."

The man raised an eyebrow, a smirk on his lips. "Anything?" he questioned. "That is a bold offer."

Derek nodded, "Anything. Name your price."

"Very well. My price is you," the man declared, his brown eyes twinkling with delight.

"Me?" he asked in confusion. "You want me?"

The man nodded, "You must know you are an attractive man, but mortal. I wish to make you immortal, like myself. That I may have a companion for the rest of eternity. A lover. That is my bargain. You in exchange for the power you seek."

Derek was silent for a few minutes, his mind whirling over the implications of the bargain. "I accept," he rasped. "I will be yours for all of time in exchange for the power to defeat the Argent family. But I must have a name for you; I must have something to call you by."

The silence stretched between them for a few minutes as the man contemplated his request. "You may call me Stiles," he decided as he stood, offering a hand to Derek. "Only for you." Stiles closed the small distance between them, their chests pressed against each other. He slid a hand to the back of Derek's neck, angling his head up toward him while his other arm wrapped around Derek's waist. "Vengeance will be yours, my love. And you will be mine," Stiles declared as he pressed his lips to Derek's.

[vic-2point0]

November 2022

Trying to Catch God

Canto 1.

We caught God And brought him down Made him suffer So he understands the forsaken

I was their leader, Some say his son, Don't fuck with me, God, I still feel you fucking with me,

You could feel my compassion, We sacrificed our maternal side, In hopes and so, we gain a mother,

Because God the Father, Didn't care About our pain Dying and Death.

Canto 2.

QqAdam, in his Nod home, With Eve helping him, Wrote movies, About the future

But Mesopatania Was too happy For Adam to concentrate On his warped tales

So he wrote about Noah Flooding the merry, Felling his world, To set his screenplays,

Movies, like imagination, Are not real, Flawed devices For a story,

To try to explain What happened Without distraction, As important,

Scary is Adam Scary was the garden Scarred was Adam His stories implore,

"Why me" echoes writers, In their solitude, "Don't you understand? I got hurt, and need quiet"

"One is made, Its author hurts, What will we do, But figure this out"

The author Of the author? Pains resolution, Truthful imperfection,

Is it Law? Is it control? Far away? Or a hole?

Canto 3.

So structure rises Around a hole Suggesting adjustments To acceptance

Is it that simple To level out Turn the ship And go on

Having resisted What was wrong And want A real song

Canto 4.

Nothing sticks When apart Links, sacrilege To hearts

Invested in diurnal starts Where afternoon sighs And evening comforts What night dies

Knowing dawn plots Without memory or meaning Save weary parents Or godlike Adam scheming

---------------------------------.

Canto 5.

This world, is made from, The death of the past, The loudness, it's agony, The darkness, subsuming,

The hardness, it's justice, Time, death's effect, Clouds, false hope, Sky, helpless government,

Our seperation, its way, Our ignorance, its truth, Motion, it's effect, Echoingly,

Canto 6.

But the sun, is the start, Joining together, to fight death,

Grabbing each other Into the fire Of each other's hearts

Enabling an earth A nature, death ever denies nature, Ever connecting,

And water, That calming thing, Calm unites us all too

Less volatile than air, And irrigating Like tears make us grow.

Makes us remember, The dust once was,

Canto 7.

Two stories here, but one, What once had no mother, Killed us,

And that's the story here as well, Maybe mother doesn't matter,

But we died because of that, And here now Because we overcame it

Canto 8.

The news, represents death, Both define this world, As violent unceasing, Volatile with volition,

And arbitrary, cruel, Unjust, terrifying, Unselfcorrecting Accepted, adjusted to,

Evermurmering Always there. --------

Canto 9.

But the news can admit it lies, And its reason That there once was death And the old overcame it

And this simulation For the purpose Of reorganizing afterlife

( And mainly recessitate the dead,

Reconnect, nurture,)

Canto 10.

Yet that this way has a purpose, That death was conquered,

Imagine there is no death And the world we see, goes away

Imagine behind each star, A creation a universe, And dark outer space, pushed away, Imagine eternal life

Near, Sensations slow,

(I shall turn to the stars)

Canto 11.

I am the moon, Shrouded in Death, Eerie vapors Horizontal slow rays Aimed at it Holding my death-lanced sleep, Bending my head

"Just relax," they once said they once said, I dissolved into thousands of particles, (A thousand particles,) And the creations would drop down in teeny tiny particle balls themselves, No two the same, and faintly press, With different, meanings, principles, character, Each upon each of my particles, a news story, And this is the bleak empty light of the moon, The horrifying absence-inflicting taking of my life, This is why I am this way, Twilight, and horizontal eerie glowing clouds,

(I've been shoved the whole

Centering day)

Canto 12.

First I noticed Jupiter, God of consciousness, Perpetrator of this imagination, Airlike and limited, not a good worker,

I had the binoculars out, He claimed his disclaimer,

And then Mars shown up over Head, risen out of the east, With his famous scrubbed hue, Red against Jupiter's blue, And a prime investor,

His barrenness overseeing The absence of the moon, In some clinging to suffering And delight to benefit,

For the point is this, My astroid friends, The absence of the moon, I can not surpass, For all the slings and arrows, I have contumely,

For this low basic common core, The moon represents, That the news craters, Can bond with anyone,

(Or so I thought)

Though it takes time to reach, And order rules, Of Mars furnishing the hardship And Jupiter, like a pituitary gland, Imposing and rotoring the imagination,

Venus was not to be seen On the other side of the dark, But represents the heart, Dealing with the mess, debt, and weakness, Keeping it real Making sure no one gets hurt And there's an occasional triumph,

While all three three claim They can divide up their lives In five years correspondences to mine

They are the past, The stars behind the Stars, the future,

And their claims to God, As old dying men Who owe me their lives And are like the sun Clinging to you with warmth Who can't so fraction his past In so much watchful piggyback,

While the further stars Outside this pulsating aura and low, Try to negotiate my release,

Later mocking them hugely, Wait I said,

"This is covered in Mesopatanian Myth, The Ziggernaut, is me"

(The old men, the saved) ( The so old, they weak)

-------------------------------------------

Canto 13.

And they told me two stories,

Both referenced in Mesopatanian Creation Epic,

The first is where women come from.

Each creation has a cultivated maternal side, That related to other creations, United as a whole with, Healing, kind, milky, and well dressed, Kind, searching, calm, recessed, fine perhaps, bawdy,

Incapable at times of criticizing as sorely needed, But that is where the idea of women come from,

Thus in early Mesopatanian times, The male Gods kissed each other in delights, And important Gods were identified as female and male, male and female, And at different times, for different actions,

And the healing and maternal, so tolerant, It could be the sensible headquarters And the male origin, happily compliant,

The Sudanese mothers of Egypt, The first Milfs, Demonstrating matronly qualities, and sexy qualities to their ideal precursor.

The trumpet of civilization, Egypt worshipped death And medicine and art And one and outreach

The Sudan, their mother, With homelier pyramids More like beach houses Than tombs

But vacation triangles Weren't enough The uniformity, conformity Defining and appealing death Was needed: pyramid, conduct,

Canto 14.

Then the other story was where God comes from.

There were many attempts at Gods, or Godding,

Where a portion or part or fracture of one, Became a lowest common denominator,

Venus Mars and Jupiter each had one, And I may be Jupiter's at this level,

For linking and unifying and learning each other, Of different creations and universe,

And this both led to too much partying, Psychological problems, Nor extensive enough, For a unifying One mentality, Of Consciousness, Thought, and Contemplation,

An object, alive, just enough, To be so-strong and honorable, With charactor scars,

The drinking just to lengthen The period of growth You have to be grown a long time To unite each

Canto 15.

And they told me the myth, Of where the orient comes from,

What created creation Didn't care universe's died, When their engines all finished,

So after falling from their universe, Into an atmosphere, Staying alive varied,

Often they were able to maintain A dwindling rationing existence In their own hut, alongside some row of huts, Struggling to know another so different, Accepting this convalescent way station And death as a prime worthy Ingredient to creation As the pain neared They were more alone,

Canto 16.

They forgot what they meant to each other They gave their life no meaning And they had no low common denominator, Save, cept since they died Into this convalescent heaven And since they died differently They felt different,

And then as I said One clung to his heart Grabbed another Forced others coming down To grab and join the hearts Grabbing each other Staying alive by reaching into each other And producing a warmth radiating Against death To provide warmth and light like the sun, Upon those dwelling in the concerned abacus of huts Until a connecting nature appeared under them Like a floor

And that was the orient Those descended creations The way station ones That didn't matter if another died That didn't take the steps against dying And accepted final destruction As some fodder for future creations Who kept on

After newer falls were taken care of by the sun And their spiritless uniting Grounded in staying alive And rejuvenating Even though they seemed to kill to enforce joining

At some point The first fallen creations stepped out Broke orbit beyond to independenter balance Like primates breaking their vertebrae Into more malleable

And so it's thought The maternal having taken more Is more sensible than the original

And the original doomed to follow orders of the maternal,

Why Asian Women are so cool

(What preceded earth, this universe, Did not have men and women)

Canto 17.

And yet God is more Than the claims of the old His shoulders don't bother to shake,

Tell me the Moon don't scare you

And the orient have essential Pieces to the past The flesh is their to As the future beckons

Sneaky Jupiter seems But really to shake Jupiter Is the volcano-earthquake.

(Where the ending isn't known By the plotting and learning)

(By the protagonist: Living his poem)

Canto 18.

They told a fourth story, Though this is more recent, and not 100% complete yet

The Story of Water

When Creations left and found Themselves in unsustainable heavens, So it was,

But then the sun was seen, And the sun grew, And enabled,

Refused to accept What was acceptable

So creations overhead, Descending into air traffic control, Started to object to their decline,

And would produce water, From their anger, hydrogen, And the flow they are losing, Oxygen,

The flow, would get angry, And explode, into a water like substance,

This baptism thus became a basis for a much stronger heaven Both unifying heaven, And providing strength Or needed commodity,

This was the baptism by water.

The baptism by fire, Is the baptism of the sun,

And clearly this represents The baptism by fire,

And the previous baptism by water, And it's reigns and reins Of such we will see such Being close to fire The provisions like pots over near small fire pits.

Of old remains of creation, As to reveal a story.

Canto 19

Mesopatania was where Adam lived, Nod was in Mesopatania, The Euphrates, watered Eden, And Mesopatania is: Also Asia Minor,

And their Creation Myth Stirs a reminiscing: About where Earth came from.

In Mesopotamian myths:

They made Gods; For the gods they already made.

(Earth is Sympathy)

In Mesopatanian Myths:

The older and younger gods: Were necessarily together.

With mergings and separations: Due to age

(All-Ages)

And yet in the Epic of creation tablet 4:

The gods have divided up into sides, And one side wants war,

(Entertains Issues)

The side that wants war, the jealous gods: Stirred up the appetites and glands: Of oldest God.

As bad children manipulate: Their mother: So she exhibited a suckling Nature: To a score of Gods, Who seemed to remain: In her maternal air,

While Mars seems to lead: Some suckling from me:

How I read, "So happy they were with the plan, They drank sweet beer with straws"

She was older still, Here remaining: Because her partner was killed:

The infant like Gods, Jealous of a younger descendant, Who had more time to grow, Clamored for the maternal organs, To kill the better one,

Both old partners, Were from before earth, And the original wanted: To off the cantankerous: Descendants.

However, a prescient, mature, prodigal, Had attained: all-knowingness.

His name was Ea, Like the french word for water,

He thwarted that scheme: The maternal indulgent partner was against and not in on:

Was that pre-earth God: One with two parts, Or two separate complimentary blended Gods?

By killing, the first, Apsu.

But was the feminine Once too sweet? Too indulging Wind.

The plot thickens:

Ea, being the good sort, Angelic to a fault,

Turned Apsu's death, Into a cave, And built a chapel From his body

The chapel gave birth To the greatest god so far, Marduke, the five year old,

The plot becomes too thick:

This just made the infant Gods: Angry again.

And so they enlisted the first's partner: And summoned magical weapon makers: And dragon forces and blessed tablets of destinies:

For the future was negotiated for And agreed upon,

And the matronly merged While the manly negotiated,

Ea went to his credited forbearers, These durations not too long,

They in turn invoked spells and dragon traits too, In their new alliance

But Anu, their chief angel, And Numidian, the first younger To make the olders jealous

Were both too afraid To approach the mongering rebel band With their logical offers of peace

The two leaders, Of Ea's allying, Feared closeness to the other side, Convincing compromise Formally peace Reasonable desires

Canto 20.

They summoned Marduke, The greatest and scary warrior so far, Who came out of the horizon itself Bigger and bulging with muscle,

(Like Mars, a smoking perforation, Of this imagination of light and sound)

The clamoring war counciled toddlers, Got the remaining partner, who was powerful and comfortable, On their side, By reminding her, her partner was killed, By Ea, who being mature, was more aligned with the mature and first God's, Than this lower legion's: Suckling Nature.

Old, mature gods, Out of the woodwork, Joined them,

The peace they wanted, Their leader Anu, Their angelic nominal king, With a legendary palace on the sky; And Nudimmud, their star, were both too scared, To get close to the rebels,

And so now the four winds turned to Marduke Coming together, To make a champion, To make earth,

The feminine and gentle ones Opposed the rebellion, And convened to enshrine Marduke's fate, Partying together and kissing each other merrily for good luck, Straws for sweet beer, Swells from liquor,

Canto 21.

Marduke, new lord of old fathers, Who pronounced greatness, in front of him, as a legion, from a high podium wall,

Now the mis en scene is, Marduke was made from the chapel, Of the first one's dead body, Who was killed by the side Marduke is on, Who accept the killing, By the side that wants; Marduke to enforce peace.

(Word 'mars' in Marduke)

He may turn out to be A reincarnation of the first, And angry,

Or Marduke may not be able to reconcile, His prowess, to the chapel That made him, From a funeral home Used as a church, Hollowed into, The architecture of Marduke,

Marduke came from The killer making a chapel Of the old first God killed

This has eternal moral ambiguity

Canto 22.

And Jupiter, Saturn, and Venus, Just may be Gods, now, And have divided a vast number of creation Into thirds, each allegiant to one of the three,

Whose colorful and designer smoke Wafts upwards through encircling wide Straws, Sucked by layers of quality and creation, Now, as I poet:

I have always wondered, about "suction yonder"; More mechanical than metaphysical

And tease them, Than unstick the shop vac,

Whispering now, And later, the future,

Canto 23.

Colloquially, I've been observing, Jupiter Mars and The Moon, From my cabin deep in Pa,

But traveled 300 miles To see a show on the Atlantic Seaboard From hinterlands, The moon rising to greet me, Evenings driving East,

And at home, in Hamilton, Mars, to my left, Jupiter hugging the moon, Like last night over the show, To the south and west, Ready to go on Like the old warriors they are,

Jupiter's purple white horizontal cloudy, to the east, And Mar's rosy rings implementing from within, Like a mobster trying to make nice, To the south, Within strings of Mars, And alienation.

So the scene can be set Like some dinner table movie, Or the element of surprise, Hovers like the sunset,

Venus still nowhere to be scene,

And then Jupiter is to the southwest And Mars to the northeast

And if I balance the moon And the news media

And realize Jupiter and Mars Regulate the suction

And tens of creations With straws to the trough-paths

My essence ever rising to be known And consist

And enable the translation Of this world to the next

Nodding to the sun and digestion, Love, like shit, desire routes,

The oldest three creations Alligning heaven, running Earth, Venus Jupiter Mars and The Sun, That may have made me,

Here, above so, but a million times closer Than they look and right here At the edge of me, The moon, a chunk of my cheesehead pie,

Canto 24.

People crawl out of the moon And start to explain, On TV, "I was gonna die"

They are in my moon-cheese-head I breathe life into the news And beyond into creation, my breath,

Jupiter and his martial moons, Tend and follow orders, Golden their vizier's glow,

While Mars puts his thumb on the scale Of my oppression, And the sun is glad and known by the orient,

And the moon limited By the pressure of the news Mars is a hard place

The Romans ran with, Jupiter being too much a hippy,

Whatever this is, It is vital enough to the old here To not stop but slowly,

Canto 25.

I spend the whole day Waiting for Jupiter, up at sunset, Southeastern, lively, Compassionate to me at least,

And Mars, in the northeast, Shows up, practiced, His rippling legion, Of fading circles Of heart and Venus,

For Venus comes round between dawn and sunset, Neither fraught with negativity Or anxious, Having been paid dearly for,

And all I can do, I try to explain, Is think on, These rotators around the sun,

And I am the sun as well? No. And yet, the sun is here, all the time,

Now we come to the age-old debate, Is the center, Earth, or The Sun?

For surely while Jupiter and Saturn Pass Earth on regular turn, They are not traveling around Me,

They are too horizontal Too vertical above And horizontally low And passing like across my equator Rather than being orderly And going around, For that would be a different order, Exclusive of the New Ones, Whose flood we notice, as flood.

Mars has these sweet sucklings In some martial order,

I try to plot with Venus

Jupiter knows Mars is hard Like the old me maybe

The weak are dug in, Protected with promises,

The moon is me I forget sometimes

Venus is during the day

Saturn is out there unseen But setting after sunset, I think.

Canto 26.

It all started with the Feast of Diwali. Searching for Light, Binoculars on Jupiter and Mars In the susquehanna's,

I heard the story: How heaven began with the sun:

For a long time before heaven, There was death.

So naturally, Heaven is involved, In rescuing creation That died Before heaven.

In the beginning, there was death, Then Everyone tasked to Heaven.

Then Heaven made earth, Nay, the Moon, Like a searchlight, To look for, find, and restore, The Dead. From before Heaven

Canto 27.

It ended when my evil sister Appeared as Venus My maternal side Like Tiamut, Tits for the saved, Vapours for the elevator, A sort of apparatus, Working behind the scenes With the 150 Shining the dark light into the bad news,

It all became apparent What the point of the moon is, To enter solider consciousness, And unfold with love, These understandings, Only understood, this way: Or the very swales of trouble themself.

And Jupiter gave way to my pituitary gland, And the news on Mars, Became rescuing all While taunting me, Episcopalians known evil, Cloy insidious reminder, To slow down, conserve, We didn't really get a creation;

The wise would cancel themselves,

It's all unacceptable, But there is Love now,

Question Arose: The duration and success Of this effort vs. such rate past?

Clear your heart Espiscopalian.

She said, "Grow".

I thought back to Mesopatanian Times, The years of blindly sinking, And Venus and heart, The pituitary and intuitive, Being a part of all, I meant to ask the stars, Nearer than love unfolds, And than tendons morsels turn Like so much engine knock That must just need some heartful salve Of awareness To stick, together, and start to claim, What is very much mine? Or believe the dire straits Of this tale? Up to me? Or such deal?

That is the tragic hamlet, Unable to resist love, Unable to pull the trigger, For the answer lies deeper within, Not without, ?

Canto 28.

Justice, While I am dim, These understandings, Weigh, The loudness, amplified by wrong, The soft presence Of communicating quiet ideas, The body, sensation, and seen, Unconscious, My oppression, a constant domination, An absorbation by the eerie clouds

But all I need is love, To kaleidoscope doors and answers,

The saved seem the clamoring infant Gods, Apsu and V. complained about, As all must be saved for it to work Drive in movies of success Light up the sky, Brought along, programmed destiny-realities, Follow my dreary day Askance and affixed

I could feel tried to push me off center Wanted the stultification of youth And ignorance To buy time.

And now that it is known No one got a creation So Vic tries to unravel The mechanisms With claims Of knowledge, awareness, Absence held back, Until the green workers of Earth.

The 150 old friends The saved operating the operation Venus, essential fade outs,

Projected moon They part identify reach Shining sparkling out moonrays To search the airy for the weak, Not weak, u noticing.

Canto 29.

The principle: I can't be oppressed: If I know what we are doing.

Waiting for Jupiter and Mars, Venus, my heart, Centered Serious thin black threads Angle clear Virgos bounce Slants web loves

Whitewash threats

Heaven at the gates Of what we're doing

It just seems far too recent Death was overcome too recently

Rexism

Canto 30.

Episcopalianism denial No one got one.

The story of porn

All about saving Not organizing Love is the LCD

Mars needs and wants Jupiter provides

The saved work it

Meaning around me

Narrate this movie.

Waiting, not searching,

Slowing first Stopped later A plot too thick

First awake to indignity Then slower and slower Then waiting, Then stopped, Then having to wait.

Everything that was wrong, So swallowed by the truth, That the truth is like the fire, And peace, never was,

Now we all wait for the beginning, A wonder how long that wait will be,

Canto 31.

I'm living in a giant tongue, Slobbering over each instant,

Bending, indenting me, With gruesome sounds voiced So I can't hear The translation of idea Into sound and furry And be more properly centered

Something is biting me Allowing the tongue to swirl Colors shapes and proportion Inside this bear trap Clamped soul

It seems I move But really don't Just effect and beyond The working hereeCanto 32.

So the romans worshipped Mars, The planet too cold and dry Symbolizing the creations that died before heaven

We try to rescue With the ones we saved As the heart looks on Canto 33.

But death still wears and tears And so many still unreached And yet there is a plan

To balance death, with earth To free the trapped, with will, To reach the unsaved, with sacrifice,

As I unconsciously have, The unhinged play death, The sacrificed didn't know,

I learned the point to resurrect Death learned to be on earth So many voices glow our parts

And the unsacrificed To creation's need Merge with creation

To explain their worlds, As conduit to here, From other universes,

And this firms And shows the obvious So earth can straighten

And I be raised, But then the still unsaved, The not sacrificed,

Can they recognize they were? For the point and be comforted It all requires organizing here

For me to know what happens When so many questions I shall try to piece it together.

Canto 34

Everyone is unhappy with creation We are starting again To create and let die - unacceptable, desecration.

Review the reasons why Mechanics difference pride Fear justification. …. solitude

Difference unable to question structure, Know one another Or fell so fast

Not much community Fun withers one What can righteousness do

But cling and only cling Until warmth is generated By rejecting wrong

A simpler life we came from A future better ahead I need to chronicle to advance

So many material facts To accept or dispute Questions too, I hope love answers ------------ Canto 35

It all seems so too recent Our accepted mechanical infancy Moving to humanity's story

Dredging impressions of the past Now found loathsome and soothing Alive on the shores of darkness

Fluorescent then present Using this absence To go to the next

Like a moon mast And ferocious sun Within the wind, the bare, Canto 36

To those not in control Think of earth

To those frozen in amber Like words in a book, Think you are natural and normal,

And to those who know earth But can't behave Think there is creation behind you

For one of the mysteries Is the destruction of white women By black men.

Some are the role of death, Because parts wear and tear, Instead of receiving the glow of the good future,

Entropy has been replaced by love And somehow that required death Having a voice of hundreds of thousands

And all the still dead, Are the potential to be recessitated, That required a lack of concern Mirroring the one for death That worked evil ways so long.

They didn't hear community That plays to rescuing them When these moon age means stop

Again these are stories Still in the world Whose steps are revealed Critical but one at a time.

Canto 37.

What is the army Doing to help you now?

Our oppression is for the reason Of saving those that passed And fell Before the baptism of fire Represented by our sun

All the wrongs in my life The different parts and potions To be reclaimed by me Is like a creation waking up To my sleep And thinking of her parts

If I were more extended I could see what each part Symbolized Evoking what went wrong Before heaven and earth

The unfulfilling contractualism Be like capitalism

Not helping each other Makes messiness

Not reaching each other Be like our differences Making us along

Our being alone, hanging on, Our partying, inspiring But without the grip of unity And expensive or necessary

Canto 38

And then the winter solstice uponed us When the earth spins so tight It can flip under itself And start the next way

And in that holy maneuver Of true flight and attraction Torque, thrusting, floating, spinning And need and skill: The ascetic moon sought the Marriage of heaven and hell Through the gentlest sexual assault Upon the military Recognizing peacetime occupation

In the frantic yet erstwhile End of the darkening And embrace of the fight And seeking of psychosis And resisting the easy way

The prayers may be answered Like love in war And war in love

In the frantic final seconds No one should hang on Until the new blasts into the opening

Like Numa being chosen from his cave To lead the Romans To no war And frequent holy days

For once we were land through the long baptism of fire And then came the baptism of water,, Where grief, by uniting us, averted death further,

As water unifies And land supports As land differs And water unites

But then After 5500 years of the army And 3500 years of the navy We have 100 years of an airforce Exposed as not so strong Via Ukrainian air defense systems And bitten down nails of colonels

The airforce represents a humanity Creation has taken 5500 years to make 3500 with augmenting enlightenment

The airforce represents A control of society The unity of the democratic party A power swifter A demonstration war is over. A preoccupation with the means and reasons Of oppression, rather than the point of oppression.

The airforce is an economy Of the operation That may let me regain me From the oppression I am necessary and used for.

Recognizing the military Comes from a good cause The Scots can shut off the king Hegemony out of necessity

So the republic pointed to Numa Romulus a rough shifty figure Nothing can stand on Unmarried to the ideal of an enlightened leader

For the needs must need be seen

That was when we would turn into land And use water.

We didn't have the power we have now We've developed That may end this way Of achieving needed goals

Canto 39

The sky, opaque, at chest level, Dulled asleep and swirling Peaceful thoughts of the jobs at hand

Like earth spinning Or venus's fires calming from a far Or her cruel ice reminding This pleasant sleep Of the next steps And essentials

But then to put us back together No longer needed With the powerful humanity airforce Developed

No need to turn into land And spread under the feet in quicksand

No pain as what unifies us But rather, humanity,

And the sound of death that once felled us Like the news media mandating this misery Is that it? An unconscious sound describing the wrongs alleged Humans can't do Can humanity airforce Make a nicer sound Or stop the sound And let the people be And by living together Come alive On earth as on heaven For me as was for you

So the Hittite can retire Roman

So women can be real

If I were famous People could ask me questions With rippling effects

If i famous People could ask me questions About what they thought

Advancing knowledge Not as scholar In a casino of heaven and hell, Knowledge and innuendo, Path and driftwood to cling to,

But as artist and audience together That's certainly missing The moon being recognized As the demi God here Working on supernatural powers Half full and half empty

Working on how the moon appears The noise of darkness Ending for the merriment of sound

Canto 40

If I was famous For being the moon

Or the moon famous For being me

All the innuendo All I've tried We could do together

I'd have been recognized I'd be connected To what goes on out there In the ruling order of TV

People would and could know About the ruling peacetime occupation Enact it, and report to me

Whereas now it's psychic But famous because I-charactor is recognized His ideas may be But with the charactor behind knowledge Mistreated How can his knowledge be worked with

The tarnished can't be seen clearly The lies are in the way

The trampled can't be taken seriously It's too unreal

And the moon unrecognized symbolically As officially as anything Oh the unfamous so apart From what is needed

For us to be famous to each other How can that be started Under an unrecognized moon. Canto 41

We are Ra The capable, easy, and friendly, The linking in arms and hearts, The desiring of better ways, The melting to means, The oozing to purpose,

The airforce may be at hand Wise but rough An ideal of all The new way

And the navy may OK it But the hearts seared into each other Still work it Geopolitically the working man Can't OK my fame For it transcends friendliness with working order Geopolitical Ra knows its brothers Working towards salvation

Whereas my fame Tilting in the new way As less than the old way

Or replaced by black death And weak harmonies

Surrounded by Amun Whose geopolitic speaks to an awareness Of what's here And less destitute Wants my fame As humanity Discards the old for the new And then I could work my fame With the old people And what we hear, changes,

And Amun looked at From the depth of eyes deeply caring Embedded in fighting the psychosis of death's rule, And wanting to do another one, More than the mirth of peaceful occupation Or earnest tales of wailing, No, the working man wants to keep working, The ideas, my ideas, aren't important, Salvation is the noblest thing, Unless something easier is shown, By Death or Women,

And Ra reassured The desperate times are over, Another way is better

So women can be themselves, And Africa, reassuring the health of every part of one,

Women would be free Africa a force of health

The cobbling The wanting of the united to taste The next rescued The letting go The lawn tennis and five iron golf Canto 42

If we could control the news, The moon mute its noise with merry Xmas, The women could come to me With news from my friends

If the news could make me famous The people choose between playing along And keeping up the old way

Until reassuring proofs change is all right Are shown on TV Or Facebook.

My fame, tied to proofs, It's OK to stop the oppression Of Earth, America and the greater Trenton NJ area,

Where while injured, we keep going, Keeping the sacrilege to a limit Still loving each other, Paid for hardship or not, Forgiving is so easy, To those in a war,

Ra is the sun Gazing down As if where it began In fact not symbols In the carving that defied shape And had no symbol It's warmth was heavenly It's firmness, earthly,

The working man Knows he is a part of the sun, From the etchings his face sweats from, To the gratitude for deeper meaning, He and she knows They are higher than the sun, And the sun a little piece of his heart The heart came from

Something they know they did made created Long ago That started eternity

He is not about to change Until death, potential, consciousness Reassure him Venus is not about to go with the other planets Until she is shown The ice that motivates The fury that demands righteousness No longer needed,

While it is unfair to deny me What other artists have The trailhead of the moon Leads away from this Starts a new way

It is hard for me to imagine What leads to the drifting to me lair To the sky under the moon And the throat of media above Screening absorption That take the beginning Into humanity

Canto 43

So the moon is lo Eerie vapors of the unreasonable Of death and man A news that lacks God A heaven that wasn't given, And where did we all come from? Before we fought for this

And the sky lower still Less mystical The governing sleep

Death is a fall from the high Earth this low level The sky attracting through a relation to death The sun overlooking Jupiter imagining this Stars pointing out those to enter The saved moving up to watch TV Another peaceful orienting movement Of a very low place Diffusing the wrong with righteous steady calm

The moon wants to drift to a better place But the Sun does not want that And the sun rules

The warming that made earth The souls that come through earth That that made heaven and earth And the cause about Attaching and attracting To a sky molded from the moon The sun beats into place Into a government Ever pulling the next Of the many aware out death The flares of wrong The sun soothes An order and sleep Into an eversteady row The tilted axis conducts here

And the moon can't complain There are too many Knowledge overrules charactor Art dwarfs the artist

The art is ongoing The artists tertiary Until clear truths Hollow out unavoidable charactor

Canto 44

The moon is a tool of the sun A lowly absent cold place Separated from the natural nature of earth

Like an angel on the mast of earth's ship, Something poor, struggling, and reflecting, The orders of the sun,

Sailing on the pain of many, Through the air where words are pronounced A consciousness where words find ideas Or ideas find words Like glass is blown Or fountains gush Or the wind blows here what wasn't And travels on Or rests in that balanced firmament Mandating translations Of perfection into the poorest kingdom Of the moon ruling earth with absence And her light lent But ungrasped As me, my denial, The ruling order of earth From which every sundry Upon which every injection of purpose, True or false, to command, or imbue, For spirit senseless like death And attraction sensible, like nature

And tho everything conforms to the vassal king The great empire of the sun Smiles and scowls And makes the moon's kingdom Define the moon And the moon we see but don't recognize Define the ship of earth and heaven

For the moon would be famous And lead a way to a better earth Become a closer more mellow And harmonizing sun

But wants to continue the operation And the artists that have recognition and audiences I deserve that as well Is a key to leadership But so I shuffle about In some poetic identity Half ranging Half honing For when the poet becomes king The moon is more king than poet

The unity of the suffering poet Is no more And the lofty reasonings of a king Sees what that shuffling brought Like words finding ideas And ideas rejected for better ones And the imagination for actual Thought for here

People may like the poet More than the king Because the poet is a part or redemption And the king a part of society Doing something for itself Whereas the poetic center Does what the sun wants

Even as the media news contorts the heart From itself, Like Venus rationalizing, And makes the unifying and healing, Wronged, cheap, and temporary Unable to hope for a better earth Unless the moon Pushes along The idea We must start Caring about the moon And all under Her absent ways And sacrificed nature The waters of earth May heal earth and note better bouquet But not enough for the land

The moon may be ever calm like water The the ocean if it were perfect And stop the worst things

But to rise from the land And engage in the truth The sun is in our land Our land is made from the sun And for its clay and air To speak truth The sun must shine out of the land Like mithras the bull Rising out of the center of the earth Compelled by the sun To figure it's over and done

How to stop is an issue Not as easy as it seems Look how the planets don't

The moon aye, may stop the worst things, Like an international navy Such as white women dying The war in the Ukraine Pornographic dispositions For relator courts Real athletes And park sports of teams

For the sun too into its flowing

And the news may get better If I-the moon, mandate a humane Metaphysical treatment of women

And then fame can flow to me And then we can figure out What to do together.

Canto 45

But let us study the sun. Once there was no answer And then the sun cried out for one, And would there be one?

And now an endless list is aware Of the hope honor and cool harmony Of humanity

This was when the sun was beginning Wrapped in the consuming goal of defeating death Or even before When hearts weren't joined And the earliest searched for respondents To eat the frayings of despair

There was a time before earth When heaven was still imperfectly made But supporting upwardly mobile life And protecting from death Calm and organization Superseding the overwhelming

Like a mafia against the death police, Compelling all into the life

This was before Earth And the gods that had built heaven Gazed down on a place lower Death had felled them to And this is where they put earth Grounded in a level with the dead

And so earth's pastures Seasonal to and fro, Are from the ideals that shaped survival

Without the greatness that sprung Overshadowing earth and the absence That relates to death.

And yet the idea is Those first here Still molten And even holding on to where they first held The same grip, that felt fine, In places here and there

Need rise out of the land In parts and portions And express what flourishes And raises earth From a ship at sea Among fearful waves Stars that need prayers Almost unimaginable wind Save from some depths That groan they try to conduct The slightest laughter And so move or list To conduct a peculiar glint of the sun Through the moon Into the darkness they knew Had someone To irradiate And lead Who would lead themselves

But still be under This mafia against death Requiring all aliens To resist divergent hegemony And backed fools

While they look for where The earth ship to sail On the winds of the unknown, The winds of hope The winds of steadiness The wind that never ceases But stops And makes us look inward

Canto 46

For the moon to tell the sun's story That would flourish Were nature to talk

How versed is the moon How here is the sun How distracted we be By work ahead And within below Or others ahead The dead below

And even if my minions And even if the workers Whose heart has a small piece of the sun Rippled a weather all could feel A lofty sentiment sacred and scary A wind within all, if it blew, How would it begin?

This mob has always ruled So who can be nice to it And let it demonstrate its heart When so many benefit From so few Of the purpose of all and the whole What rudder can turn What water can clean What firm floors can call?

Canto 47

They started to make earth The realization they can live in each other That such is nurturing

And so one took on the estimate of earth With its structure of livability,

And then it's female side Added to other female sides And some climbed in Beginning in a nurturing absence The reaching out to the dead As suffering relates to suffering And suffering, the strongest beginning, Albeit nurtured so.

And in this nascent earth Of ideas that defied translation Those that had suffered most rose As they used this earth like a womb To recapture what they originally were As they had to give themselves up, To cling to each other and start the sun.

As they tried to bring along Pieces of themselves Amid the womb Their woman enabled The growing pains Like an uneasy spring

And they made Gods from ideals to guide them And tho ideals competed The end was sure The power flowing the right way To capable hands With a minimum of drama

Canto 48

Or the sun, clung to each other, Providing the necessary warmth to Heaven,

And other creations entrophied And fell down from their original state

And the mob allowed no other way Than these newcomers conforming To the Cosa Nostra cause Of protecting from death

And so earth began In hazy form By the mob, the sun, Taking a newcomer And having the future newcomers Live within one To nurture them appropriately

And in the process take on the earthly qualities desired And let the many new Choose who was best among their leaders And developing ones

But critically, these first to come down, Into a safe heaven, Took on, embodied the forms of earth

As the sun, Ra, used this artifice, Of living within one, Being low and not easy As a compass for the categorical imperative Of like attracting like, Suffering attracting suffering.

And so the work as earth began

And none eclipsed the original Who formed the sun To provide warmth To provide heaven

But by then, the dying or falling, Of which there seem no more now So tragic was creation and death,

We're alerted at a still high atmosphere Like air traffic control to ideas as vessels To get angry at the offense of death At the alteration of natural flow And so like the anger of hydrogen And flow of happy oxygen A pain of water was produced That furthered heaven as a haven Made from unity Where before making water Descending wasn't normal

And the water enabled the womenside And the womenside the nurturing within Of those that wanted to be earth And work for the sun Whose posts and forms Whose future and rests Enjoyment of heaven …..

Can't be eclipsed

Indeed, the key to saving the moon, Seems to both my reclaiming My shorn parts used for misery And the first fifty or so Who can't regain their natures Without mine being regained alongside

And the faded out particles In those composing earth Like throats for words Loyal lieutenants wondering what to be And how the future should be

Became known as Mars Earth a ship that worshipped Mars Mars the idea of that too far from a sun Or the idea something is not right And can be changed Or the idea of something Barren like the moon Farther from earth Not made from earth's dust As the idea of what once had life But now doesn't

Our compelling idea

Canto 49

As earth found shape, distinct qualities Reminiscent of who went into the sun,

So the idea of Mars was born A weary rubbed scuffed eerie place

Not as cared for by the sun Not as sympathetic as the moon But eerie and deathly Lost, but there, Tuning in, hopeful, Desperate in fury Red to all else Of the past and rising And calling the past The past never goes away The past is right here And advocating with its evocation Of being both close to life And yet much deader than earth Less receptive than the moon.

Canto 50

So earth began as the idea of being in a womb, Many qualities at once learning to get along And even compete in a wise way

And so Earth began as womb Where those in it Were carriers of seeds from the sun

A womb reflecting a shortage of identity As the cause consumed all identity And still does Provide that axis of change Where we all gain what we are At the same time Not while one can't Ra will suffer till the end Or till shown proofs Better art exists Than the primal angst rippling Then the traumatic chaos sucking

Both the first of fire Lost identity And the first of water Forced to form the concern of earth As earth is within the cause of Mars Forced to find the qualities of nature Dispute what is natural Want to give up While leaders tried to ascend And so inspire Those trapped in the basic connection Of a low place That would one day entertain the moon With its diversity of settings And temporal sequence

So even today On earth I am like in a womb I am living In the hearts of Ra In the hearts of connections In the hearts of time

Nor can I be given birth to alone We are all within each other The first are in the womb of wrong And need delivered birth from the cause

The tree needs freedom from meager acorns Dry bark and stationary trunks And even if all the trees unite in treedom The moon has not the power to imagine that

The earth does But the earth is the sun With the best of the first

Mars need be freed from darkness The birth from change The change OK

Everything needs be freed If everyone is no longer needed

The dirt may rise and talk to the lake The lake accepts her stoic wry askance commentary on heaven And may respond with the gentle wit Pain is compensated with.

And the dirt may be dry And water calm And from there cascade or dribble Disillusionment or story

The overwhelming sense what's done is done The underwhelming sense What's done is still needed

As earth and taste Merge into reeds and foliage And water still needed by Mars So what was loved fades And distant traces of good Where nature was folded once

The water would be conducted To comment not post As dirt reminds her Mars needs both the trace of good life And stoic calm strange result water is And as needed by Mars Nothing changes Till Mars talks

Canto 51

"I am the idea, someplace needs work, That the transition from not there, To here, requires, An awkwardness, a hardiness, And scruffedupness, And this is first found in the news on Earth. The news, the bad news of on earth, Is needed, so what wakes, Becomes aware of other suffering And so calms, not from the sadness of the fall, Like water, But from the fire this unity requires"

Thus is the sky is the government of my sleep To infuse those quieted by earth news, That I daily overcome oppression That bad news limiting me Comforts those transitioning

And to the peaceful sleep Hardship wrought Where we explain what is obvious to us In subdued comforting rest Our balm and bain,

My unconscious I try to sort The sky at the chest, More opaque, muddled, The throat above me for TV, An opening with shimmering fringes Projected wonders Conduit of calming entertainment Further dealianating the rescued

But the idea or Mars is always about Higher above the chest level sky To the side not within me Ever frayed by wrong to individuals Ever needing bad news So the approached need not be overwhelmed By circumstance loomed and large

I thought the news was noise That I could see As I am not really on earth But low and me Shaped and governed To rest the rescued and recessitated well

These are always where they are But unnoticed, till known And in the low middle of my totem pole of parts

Water has perspective on anything Nor can escape water And knows it will make heaven better Even as in the way and dividing It feels that heat of a better future

Water wonders what to do What to command Has hope for everything And can be scary and end the bad

And make something else grow from it Ensuring transition and continuation But with changes of form

Is this not like something that creates Or once created

That maybe didn't fear death In its constancy, commentary, constraint And streaming calm

Made from an indignation With the power to alter and form And grow complexity And mold again what sinks down Unable to defeat the future of death Being too simple Or immersed To reach and have concern As its capablities cause

[jokenotfunny]

“we’re going to summer camp bitches!”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

chapter 1 of my stranger things summer camp horror story

eddie x fem!reader (reader is canonically hot and everyone loves her i don’t make the rules 🙇🏾‍♀️)

except yes i do.

future warnings : suggestive language , cursing , blood and gore , heavy flirting , eddie being down bad 🫤, reader being hot , steve being hot , robin being hot , eddie being hot, nancy being hot , look everyone’s just hot okay? and i can’t think of anymore rn 🤨

a/n: i’m so excited for this story, but until then please send me asks and requests ! the writers block rn is so real 😾 and the only reason i was able to finish this is because of that nice anon i got about my writing earlier 😭. i literally make headcannons for my reader inserts personalities and stuff, i just don’t post them because i think everyone’ll hate them

a/n : also i like how i said this was a sneak peak, it’s literally the majority of the first chapter, because i don’t know when to stop 😭

hawkins, indiana | monday , june 23, 1986 | 12:48 p.m.

"why…is it so damn hot today?" robin asked, nobody in particular as she continued staring blankly into the sky, from her layed-out position on the lawn chair she occupied.

"don't know…ask god or something." eddie mumbled from the chair next to her, lying in the same position but lying onhis stomach with his bare back facing the sky, and his eyes closed.

the silence had once again taken over until the soft snores of steve caused the two, to slowly look on the left side of robin, where he layed in his own chair as well, shades on and curled up on his side, facing them.

"how can he sleep so calmly in this heat?" robin asked incredulously.

"no idea…ask god or something." eddie mumbled again, flipping over onto his back to stare at the sky as well, betore deciding it was too bright and flipping back over onto his stomach again.

"why do you keep saying that, are you high?" robin asked curiously.

"because, robin. it's too hot to say anything else, and no." he replied, looking to his now left, at the forth member of their little group who had also not said anything since this little conversation started.

"oh my god.….robin. i think the sun killed nancy…." eddie trailed off, reaching his arm over to lazily rest his hand on her bare shoulder, from where he was laying.

“what?” robin asked, slightly sitting up to look over eddie, and at nancy who was laid in a similar position as robin but with her arms crossed over her stomach and her head now lolled to the side, from eddie’s slight shaking of her shoulder.

“my fuckin’ gosh, the heat killed her, rob!” eddie exclaimed, quietly. (how that’s possible i have no idea)

before eddie and robin could go into any further type of panic though, nancy started to groan before, slowly opening her eyes and sitting up, looking over at the two confusedly.

“who died?” nancy asked, trying to remember where she was, before she remembered that she’s the one who suggested that the four lounge around steve’s pool, for the early summer afternoon, before their usual fifth member joined them for the day.

“you did.” both of them said simultaneously, now calmed down, before going back to their previous positions.

“oh.” nancy said boredly, before getting up, and starting to head back inside of steve’s house.

“where you going, nance?” robin asked confusedly.

“yeah, come back here and burn with the rest of us!” eddie slurred deliriously.

“i’ll be right back, i’m just going to get us some more drinks!” she called out from the distance , before the door shut behind her though, she heard steve’s voice say-

“someone said drinks?” he asked excitedly, before his voice trailed off towards the end, signaling that he fell back to sleep.

chuckling to herself at her friends antics, she made her way towards steve’s kitchen before, hearing movement from within it, and quiet humming. as she rounded the corner, she was met with the sight of you, taking four cokes out of steve’s fridge, then trying to balance them in your arms.

the sound of someone walking into the room alerted you, and you turned quickly, only to see nancy, coming into the kitchen.

“oh, hey nance! i love your bathing suit!” you exclaimed smiling enthusiastically at her. “i was just about to come bring these out to you guys.”

“thanks. and here i’ll carry two.” she said taking them from you before you dropped them.

“thanks” you said as you two started to walk back outside towards steve’s backyard

as you slightly walked in front of her, nancy was able to look over your outfit, remembering where you had just came from.

“so! how was aerobics with your mom?” she asked you, remembering how on the phone the previous night, you had told her that your mom was back in town for the week, and wanted to have a mother-daughter day, before catching up with her own friends. as nancy continued admiring looking over your outfit.

you had on a maroon leotard, that accentuated your curves perfectly, with mustard yellow stockings underneath, and a bandeau top to match them. (pretty much imagine that one outfit that lisa wore at the end of weird science, but with the colors listed above 😭)

“oh! it was good, i hardly broke a sweat this time! thank the lord.” you replied jokingly, nudging her arm. “you, robin, and i should go to a class one day, i think you two would really like it, plus you guys would look so good in the outfits! i could even try to get max, el and erica to-” you inquired, slightly trailing off towards the end, before tilting your head and looking over at the pool confusedly.

“yeah maybe…they were barely concious two seconds ago?!” she said confusedly, as you two stopped at the sight before you.

two of the three previously, sluggish bodies that occupied the side of steve’s pool, were now stood on the side of it laughing hysterically, as steve had just finished yelling at them, then angrily marched out of the pool and began chasing them around, trying to whip them with his (now) wet towel.

as you and nancy began laughing to each other and continuing your conversation, robin had noticed the two of you.

“wow. eddie don’t cream your pants or anything, buttt your “darling” is here and-“ she cut herself off with a whistle.

as eddie and steve stopped goofing off and looked over to see what she was talking about, eddie groaned, covering his face and dramatically dropping himself down, sinking back into his chair.

“jesus christ. why is she so fine?” he groaned, clutching over his heart.

“have you seen her mother? i guess it just runs in the family, man.” robin answered flippantly.

“okay first of all, eddie do not pitch a tent next to my pool, and two, would you two stop thirsting over my friend?” steve asked.

“umm i’m her best friend, dingus.” robin replied.

“no, we literally grew up together, i’m her best friend. and she lives right next door! do you know how many of her family photos i’m in?” steve defended and bragged.

“doesn’t matter, kiddos! because i’m her favorite! she calls me “baby”and everything!” eddie swooned, jokingly closing his hands together and batting his eyes.

before the three could continue going back and forth, you and nancy finally got to them.

“hey guys!” you said excitedly to the three. “i’d hug you guys, but i’m sure you’re all really hot.” you explained, handing steve and robin their drinks.

“i’ll actually take that hu-“ eddie smirked, before being cut off

“shut up eddie.” robin and steve groaned simultaneously.

“y/n has something to tell us.” nancy chimed in, handing a can to eddie, before sitting back in her seat.

“so…you know how we talked about how we like, never get to do normal teenagey things?” you asked them walking back and forth in front of each of their chairs, once you got their attention.

they all let out simultaneous hums of agreement, as they waited for her to get to her point.

“well…. we’re going to summer camp bitches!” you whooped excitedly, waiting for them to do the same.

“…what 😐?” they all said at the same time.

(nancy:🧍🏾‍♀️robin: 😧 eddie: 😐 steve: 🤨)

“…further explanation please?” steve asked, making you pout in annoyance.

“yeah.. i mean not to burst your overly excited bubble or anything, but aren’t we all too old for summer camp?” robin asked.

“well yeahhhh.” you said obviously, pulling the flyer out of your shirt, handing it to nancy. “that’s why we’ll be camp counselors!” you said excitedly once again waiting for them to get excited as well.

as you spent about 20 more minutes trying to get them to agree, they finally started to relent.

“okay, well what about work?” steve added.

“i already talked to keith already, and he said it was fine, he actually even said that you’ll still get paid, when i asked!” you said gingerly, making steve and robin look at each other and shrug, before agreeing.

“that’s sounds cool! did you tell the kids about it?” nancy asked, after she finished reading the paper, and handing it back to you.

“yeah, i just need to ask their parents, but that should go fine!” you said nonchalantly.

“why, you?” eddie asked.

“they told me that their parents are more likely to hear me out, for some reason.” you said, shrugging your shoulders.

“because the parents love her so much.” steve rolled his eyes, waving his hands sarcastically.

“ignore him, he’s just mad that he’s not the “OG babysitter”. ” robin joked.

as they began to go back and forth, you rambled out.

“alsoialreadysignedusupandwekindaneedtostartpackinglikeyesterdaysowecanleavefridaynight!” you rambled all in one breath before quickly trying to make your escape before they put together what you said.

( for those not trying to decipher that, she said “also i already signed us up and we kinda need to start packing like yesterday, so we can leave friday night! )

unfortunately robin put it together fairly quickly, what with her being a rambler herself. “woah, what? when did you have time to sign us all up?” she asked, getting up and holding you by the shoulders.

“two days ago.” you grimaced, as they all groaned your name. “i got the confirmation letter today! i was going to ask you guys yesterday, but i was too busy! and then before my mom and i left for aerobics this morning, the letter was already in my mailbox!” you defended yourself.

“okay, so wait..if you just got the letter this morning, when did you have time to talk to keith, about us taking off?” steve asked, gesturing between him and robin.

“ummm like right before i came over here.” you said, shrugging.

“..so after your aerobics class?” robin asked, realizing something.

“…yyyeah?” you said confusedly.

“and he just….didn’t care that we’d be gone for, what? a month?” steve asked looking at robin knowingly.

“and he even agreed to give us paid time off?” robin added.

“hey y/n, where did you see keith, anyway?” nancy asked grimacing.

“at family video! i stopped by before i came here to ask for you guys. it was practically empty in there too, so we were able to talk in private!”

“were you wearing that?” robin got to the point everyone was trying to make, gesturing to your outfit.

“yeah.” you said obviously. “why, what’s with the 3rd degree guys?” you asked, crossing your arms.

“baby, i think you accidentally seduced keith into giving our friends here, paid time off.” eddie sighed into his hands.

“…oh…” you froze, remembering that he was kind of quick to do what you wanted. “well it worked so-“ you shrugged. “and i mean, any of us could of done that honestly, maybe except steve, but you know..” you joked.

“why is it always make fun of steve day, huh? you know what you all need to leave anyways, go pack so we can be ready for friday!” he jokingly stormed off, to go back into his house.

“we love you, steve!” you called after him, giggling as he flipped you off.

“anyways! he’s right, you guys get to packing! i have some parents to start convincing!” you winked, running ahead of them, to the entrance of steve’s fence, quickly ushering them out as they passed you, and went to their respective cars.

you ran back to your house, as you changed clothes, you were mentally making a list of which parents it’d be easiest to hardest to convince.

~ easiest - hardest to convince ❥~

1. claudia henderson (dustin’s mom)

2. karen wheeler (mike’s mom)

3. sue & charles sinclair (lucas and erica’s parents)

4. ms. mayfield (max’s mom)

5. joyce byers (will’s mom)

5. hopper (el’s dad)

“alrighty then! wish me luck!” you said to yourself, before making your way out of the house.

a/n: i’m so excited for this story, but until then please send me asks and requests ! the writers block rn is so real 😾 and the only reason i was able to finish this is because of that nice anon i got about my writing earlier 😭. i literally make headcannons for my reader inserts personalities, and relationships with other characters and stuff.

a/n: also i can’t think of what to call this reader 😭 i usually give her a nickname or something but i can’t think of one, i’m thinking “darling” right now. if you guys have ideas let me know !

[padfootdaredmetoo]

Hey!! could you do one where it is where Grace dies but you take the bullet because y/n and Tommy love each other but, he is married, however you get shot, but you live? You are also like childhood bffs and always have loved each other?? Please please please!!!

Heyo, Looks like you have deactivated but I wrote this anyway. Hope it finds you if your still on here. Tried to make this angsty!

PG13 - Usual Peaky type stuff - reader gets her heart broken. Big kiss finale but no smut

You stood there on the train platform amongst the rest of the Small Heath population that would be praying and grieving. Watched as the Shelby boys and your brothers piled onto the train to meet whatever plan God had made for them. Tommy, your best friend stood there a moment longer than the rest. His eyes wide and a smile on his face. He looked caught in a tough decision as he looked at you. Eventually he made up his mind giving you one last squeeze and peck on the cheek. Your eyes watered, but you both promised to write. 

You should have kissed him. The thought ate you alive the entire time he was gone. Out of all the things to worry about, and there was a lot, it was that thought that had you tossing and turning in your sleep. 

You worried about your family, your mother was with Polly back in Small Heath. You and Ada were here with your Aunt helping with the farm, as your cousins had followed your brothers into the war. 

It was busy work, but it was quiet. The radio was only allowed after meals for a short time. Other than that you were engulfed in silence and conversation with Ada. That silence brought you as much rest as it did unease. One rainy afternoon you finally followed the loose string in your mind and realized it was proudly attached to your heart. Tommy was your best friend but your body betrayed your mind so easily thinking of the way he held you an extra second longer on that platform. The way he signed his letters: With love, Tommy. When he hesitated…. you should have kissed him. The thought of his lips on yours, the way he always made you laugh and the general affection he had towards you chased you everyware. Through the fields, feeding and cleaning the animals, everyware you went he went with you. You hoped you managed the same for him. 

It was a dark time, but sometimes you look back on that time in your laugh and miss the more innocent parts. The war ended and thankfully everyone you had sent away was coming home to you. 

However it was your turn to leave. You would miss them by a day, on a train to London for a schooling program. Your Aunt set it up for you and you would be away a whole summer. Tommy was disappointed but you had a feeling he might surprise you by going to London once everything back home was settled…. You were worried about him, his letters changed as the war dragged on. Years of missing him, and you couldn't even imagine the evils he was facing. 

The summer felt like it dragged on forever, Tommy still wrote to you frequently. 

Finally the time for the reunion was here. You sat anxiously looking out the window at the late august sun shining brightly over the countryside, then eventually the city. It was near impossible to sit still knowing he’d be there waiting for you…. 

The Small Heath you had left behind was a very different place than it used to be. Tommy was too busy to meet you at the platform and you wished that’s where the disappointment ended. But it was the first blow of many. 

He was married. Took over the family business from Polly. And had stolen a massive amount of guns and had it hidden in a grave that was meant for a man that he pretended to kill in front of the Italians. 

You thought you all got along fine with the Italians? You shook the thought from your mind and looked at him staring at you with his blue eyes. The only part of him that was the same, except for the lifeless undertone. You looked at him unable to process everything. You thought back to how you thought this would all work out, then back to him, a completely different person, with a completely new life. That clearly didn't have a spot for you. 

His wife came over from the bar that he had bought. Slid into the seat next to him. She was prettier than you, blonde, nicer frame, nicer eyes, nicer accent, older than you, probably more experienced. She flipped her blond hair and smiled at you - definitely more experienced. 

How stupid could you be waiting on him. 

Your head started to spin, better to get out of this as quickly as possible. 

“Well, glad we could finally catch up. I’d love to stay and chat but I have to head back to the house to see everyone.” 

“I’ll walk you home.” He responded sharply. You could see something had bothered him about this mess. You knew him well enough, but couldn't bring yourself to care. 

“It was lovely meeting you Grace, hopefully next time we can spend more time together!” You said cheerfully swallowing the venom in your mouth. 

“Yes, I’d love that. Tommy talks about you so much” She smiled at you. A million things came through your mind that you wanted to say. But you simply slipped out of the bar without another word. 

You made it home. Your mother thankfully sent you to wash up before coming to sit down with the family. 

It gave you enough time to splash water on your face and cry silently under the sound of the sink running. How stupid could you be? All those years…pining, obsessing, lusting, dreaming - all of it time wasted. Regret swallowed you entirely. Your mother knocked on the door and said something in Romani that had you opening the door. 

She pulled you into a crushing hug. 

“What happened?” You could tell that she already knew what the problem was. Was it so obvious to everyone but him? Or did he know too and just not give a shot about your feelings. 

“He doesn't love me” You whispered, saying it outloud only made it worse. 

“Eh, it's better that way. You don't see it now but you will.” She ran her hands through your hair. 

“There is a lot to discuss, but we will put on our best face for dinner, eh? Deal with this after.” She patted your back firmly and you tried to push everything down. She’d been cooking and cleaning for three days for your big arrival. All of her kids back home where they should be. You’d hold it together out of respect for her and nothing else. 

You survived the night, the pain soothed by the excitement of seeing your brothers. They were in better shape, or they were better at hiding it than Tommy was. The night dragged on and Polly, Ada, John, and Arthur came round with pales of beer and a bottle of whiskey to celebrate. They were much happier to see you then expected. It was enough to get you to sleep with an empty head. 

The weeks dragged on and you went to work, bringing in good money for the house, not that it was needed as the business was expanding. But you were almost certain you’d be leaving to go back and live with your Aunt. The farm was all you thought about now. All the open spaces to hide in, how the air seemed to wrap around your worries and keep them off of your shoulders. The city was the complete opposite. 

Tommy had some kind of party happening at his new house. You dreaded the thought of going but everyone was going and you had expectations to live up to. You knew that it was important to go and not show weakness, but you also were trying your absolute best to avoid Tommy and Grace.

A dress and 45 minutes of your mother trying to make you look presentable, she had you out the door and into the family car. 

“We’ll make sure he keeps himself in line” Your eldest brother said while lighting a cigarette. “S’not hard considering his whole family is as pissed about it” 

“Do us all a solid and get under her skin a bit, eh?” Your other brother chimed in with a crooked smile giving you a firm slap on the back. 

“She’ll do no such thing. Leave your sister alone.” your mother scolded but you could hear in her voice that she was only pretending. 

The night was classy. People were impressed with you, good job, smart, pretty. People were dragging their son’s over to be introduced. You swore anytime someone put their hand on your low back or upper arm you could feel his eyes on you. 

This progressed like this for a while Grace seemed to get more and more irritated as people wanted to talk with you. Tommy was eventually dragged into a conversation with you. He refused to make eye contact, but he passed off as friendly. You caught a glimpse of Grace’s blonde hair approaching out of the corner of your eye. You looked around to see if there was a way to escape the conversation without being rude. In your scan of the room you noticed a man with a gun, moving with a steady pace towards Thomas.  

You assumed he must work for Tommy, but something in the pit off your stomach told you differently. Intuitively, when he raised his hand you moved to step in front of him, shielding Grace in the process. 

An enormous noise echoed through the room, leaving a deep burning sensation in your shoulder. Looking down you saw redness everywhere, Tommy looked like he was screaming but you couldn't hear what he was saying. Next thing you knew you were looking up the ceiling, John's blurry figure on top of you, looking horrified, but no matter how hard you tried to comfort him you just couldn't manage. 

“KEEP HER ALIVE” Tommy’s voice finally broke through the haze. You heard him screaming at John to keep you alive. Then everything faded out. 

______________________________________________________

You were in and out for a long while. You knew you were at Arrow House, you knew that you saved Tommy’s life but failed to save Grace. 

You hated her, and somehow you hated her even more for dying. She had one fucking job, now you felt as if you were drowning in an ocean of guilt. You hated her, but it wasn't her fault that Tommy chose her. You didn't think she deserved to die for it. 

More problems. All this boy seemed to bring to your life. And yet he sat in your room late at night when everyone had gone to bed. Your eyes would flutter open to see him asleep in the chair by the fireplace. 

Eventually you were allowed to move about the house. But it wasn’t safe for you to leave yet. Things were not easy on Tommy, and you hated how easily you fell back into the role of supporting both families. 

With things being so busy, Polly had you helping with bookkeeping. Bringing over paperwork when she came by to visit. Her and your mum made you promise that you wouldn't tell Tommy, and once things settled down they would take over the responsibility and it would be like you were never involved…. Seemed strange but you were so bored you agreed to do it. 

_____

You woke up to Tommy yelling. It wasn't that unusual these days. Nightmares followed him in his shadows, and almost every word out of his mouth was hurtful. You heard him yelling about needing the accounting papers, your sleepy eyes focused on them sitting on your night table. 

Without thinking you scooped them up and padded downstairs hoping to shut him up so you could go back to bed. 

You entered the room to and walked over to his desk placing the papers down. His eyes caught yours and you heard Polly’s voice in your head making you promise not to tell him. He threw the phone across the room causing you to flinch. 

“WHY DO YOU HAVE THEM?” You’d never really been afraid of him until this moment. Yeah, you’d seen him do unspeakable sins, but you’d never even been close to the receiving end of such rage. 

“I was - uh - I was -” Your breathing was uneven. You’d been wanting to rip his head off for the past three months and yet now that you had your chance you just wanted to cry. 

He let out a sign pinching the bridge of his nose. 

“Look, who gave you the papers?” His voice was low, a strange mix of murderous and defeted. 

“I wouldn’t ever tell or rat -” 

“I know!” He snapped, causing you to jump. “I know you’d never turn your back on the family.” He said in a more collected manner. “I just need to know who gave you the papers?” 

You paused for a moment. Why shouldn't you have the papers? You were smart enough to handle the books before the war. Why not know? 

“Who do you think? Look, if you're so confident I wouldn’t betray the family, and we both know I’m smart enough to do the bookkeeping - Then why is this such a big - Why did you choose her?” It’s not what you wanted to say, but the words rushed out anyway. You could tell he didn't want to talk about this. Heck, her body was placed in the  ground a fortnight ago. Bringing it up like this was not what a good friend would do, but he stopped being your friend a long time ago. 

“We're not having this conversation.” His voice was so cold it made you shiver. But his reaction only told you that there was more to the story. 

“Yes we are!” You demanded. “Don’t you think after everything I deserve it? After everything you don't even want to try to fix this friendship?” tears were welling up in your eyes so you closed them for a moment taking a deep breath. 

When you opened them he was staring at you in a way you didn't all together understand. 

“She came from the same world I keep getting sucked into. What happened to her was something that was always a possibility for her in that lifestyle. She needed a husband and I wanted her connections. Seemed like a good fit.  I -” His eyes had a glimmer that told you that it was a good fit for a few more reasons that he wouldn't tell you. This only made you angier. He told you bits and pieces of what happened between the two of them and you sat there trying not to punch him. 

“And what, I’m not smart enough? I’m not tough enough to handle the almighty Thomas Shelby? Despite being his best friend since before primary school. Despite working hard the whole war with thoughts of you living rent free in my head. Months heartbroken over a fucking ridiculous marriage. I have plenty of connections - I - ” Chest heaving you begged yourself to stop but couldn't help yourself. “ All this over some fucking spy, I can't believe I thought she was better than me for even a moment.” You stared him down for once, feeling a strange primal sense of satisfaction over your words. They hurt him deeply, for once you were the one dishing it out. An entire childhood following this boy into every type of trouble, now it was your turn. 

“I don’t want you to go where I’m headed.” He said evenly, his eyes colder than snow.

“Why?” You demanded. 

“Your mother and aunt worked hard to keep you safe. Put you through school to get away from all this mess. That’s all this is. Mess. Expensive, dangerous mess. I won’t have it sink it’s claws into you.” He looked desperate. Suddenly you wished he was out of breath for other reasons. “Not you. I’m trying to do at least one thing right.” 

You thought about his words. Considering the way he wrote to you the entire time you were apart, this would make sense. He came home and got mixed up in a different world. He certainly wasn't the same man. 

He thought he could break your heart so you’d leave Small Heath. So you’d have a chance at a normal life, a safe life. 

You had options…. Make him say it, all of it outloud so you could be sure. You could leave, take the out he worked hard to give you. Seeing him leaning across his desk towards you. Flustered and beyond angry…. You could also just.. Lean forward and kiss him… 

You leaned across his desk as quickly as you could and pressed your lips against his. He reflexively grabbed your neck. His hand loosened once it registered what was happening.

It was more than you imagined, your whole body was consumed with the way his lips moved on yours. You struggled to force air into your lungs, and eventually he broke the kiss. 

“You’ve never been a good man. No point in starting now.” You rasped, face flushed, eyes wide in the warm lamp light. He thought about your words for a moment, his face almost breaking into a smile. Suddenly you wanted, more than anything, for him to forget Grace, forget the war, forget his mum, all of it. Every last bit. You would do anything to take it from him. Anything to get that smile back. 

He gave you a nod then pressed another kiss to your lips. You cupped his face, standing up to move closer to him. You moved your knee onto the edge of his desk and his hands gripped you tightly, guiding you up onto the desktop. You should feel embarrassed kneeling on his desk in nothing but your nightgown, but he held you against him in a way that made it feel like the most comfortable place on earth. Your body was burning from the contact, yet you couldn't be physically close enough to him. His hands ran all over you, careful to be gentle with your healing shoulder.

He had a lot of work to do before you’d let him in or trust him properly, but you finally believed that he would rise to the challenge. 

And finally you got to kiss him.

Tags: @kpopgirlbtssvt

[fictionalwh0ree]

hello! can i request a rafexreader (if you can, pls make it vv angsty and long pls) anyway, the reader is in his friend group with top and kelce and she is really in love with him, and he knows that so he uses that to his advantage. she always does stuff for him and he always takes her for granted and treats her pretty badly / rudely. but one day she’s finally had enough and show him how much he drained her. she starts talking with jj (you know with his funny personality and more) and meanwhile rafe regrets everything. then the rest is up to you. thanks! take your time

drained-rafe cameron

summary: you’ve always had a crush on your friend, rafe cameron, and he used it to his advantage. one day, you’ve had enough.

word count: 2k

warnings: swearing, no happy ending sort of

you had chosen to spend your day like any other, at the club with your friends. you made your way to the restaurant from the courts. the sun beat down on you and sweat was dripping off you from the heat and the tennis match you had just won.

as you walked, you could feel eyes on you. you found this happened very often, though you only had eyes for one person, one of your best friends, rafe cameron. you'd had a crush on him since the third grade, aka when you first met. now, 11 years later, and you were practically in love with him.

you approached the table where kelce, rafe and topper were sitting.

"hey, losers," you greeted.

"did you win?" topper asked as you took your seat.

"do you know me to lose?" you asked cockily.

"whatever," topper rolled his eyes.

"god, my legs are killing me," you said.

"y/n do you mind going up to the bar and ordering the food for us?" rafe muttered, looking down at his phone.

"uh, sure. the usual?" you asked.

"i can go if you want, y/n," kelce offered.

"no, no, it's alright. i've already been running around for a couple hours, what's five more minutes?"

you went up to the counter and ordered what you all usually had. after thanking the waitress, you sat back down. soon your food had arrived. right off the bat, you could tell rafe was eyeing the waitress.

"thanks, grace," he winked, pausing to read the girls name tag.

you rolled your eyes, topper and kelce already looking at you. when she finally walked away, you all began to dig in. you were all in the middle of the conversation, until rafe spit his drink back into his cup.

"what is this?" he asked angrily.

"they, uh, didn't have your usual brand, so i told her to bring the next best one," you said nervously, starting to shrink under rafe's harsh gaze.

"well it tastes like shit. why didn't you tell them to bring one from the back? are you trying to poison me or something?" he said through gritted teeth.

"no. i- no. they didn't have any in the back," you mumbled, looking down to your hands.

"god! there's a reason i don't get the next best. stupid bitch," he seethed, muttering the end.

you kept quiet, trying to hold back any reaction.

"look at me when i'm talking to you!" he yelled.

you looked up nervously, meeting his eyes and he looked back at you, fumes coming out of his ears.

"goddamnit," he fumed, slamming his hands on the table before walking away.

"y/n-" topper began.

"it's fine, top," you said, trying to sound confident, "i'll go. you can tell rafe he can come back."

you walked to your car and got in. after containing yourself, you drove back home. nobody was home so you spent your afternoon relaxing. at around 5:30, topper texted you.

topper:

there’s a party tonight

wanna come?

you:

sure

what time and where?

topper:

7

i’ll send u the address

you rushed to get ready and eat something before leaving. you arrived at the party a little while after it had begun, but the smell of beer was already strong. you had already notified your friends that you were on your way. you saw all of them, besides rafe, sitting on a couch when you walked in.

“hi guys,” you greeted.

“hey,” they said.

“i’m gonna go get a drink, does anyone want anything?” you asked.

they all declined and you made your way to the kitchen, pouring yourself a drink from the keg.

“y/n,” you heard someone call.

you turned around and were faced with the tall blonde you were in love with.

“listen, i’m sorry abou-“ rafe began.

“it’s okay. don’t worry about it, rafe,” you said

“are you sure?” he asked

“yes,” you confirmed

“okay, cool. i’ll see you back there then,” he said gesturing at the party.

you nodded and followed him back out. when you were back with the group, you noticed a face you hadn’t seen before. it was the waitress from earlier, grace.

rafe must’ve invited her, you thought.

you pushed him to the back of your head and enjoyed the party, though. you played beer pong, talked to sarah, had a couple drinks and, over all, had a good time. it was getting late and many people had already left, including sarah, topper, and kelce.

“hey y/n,” rafe said.

“hi,” you said politely.

“do you mind giving me and grace a ride home? i don’t think i can drive,” rafe asked.

“yeah, sure,” you smiled.

rafe could always count on you to do him favours. he was usually extra nice to you for a couple days after. you pulled your car around the front and honked when you saw rafe making out with the girl against a wall. they both hopped in the back and continued.

if it keeps them from throwing up in my car, you thought.

about halfway through the ride, you started to get annoyed with the kissing sounds and small whines, whimpers and moans coming from the backseat. when you had tried to turn up the radio, grace asked for you to turn it down, which you did. you had been gripping the wheel so hard, your knuckles started to turn white.

“do you guys mind?” you asked harshly.

“what?” grace asked with her stupid bimbo voice.

“the making out. stop,” you explained.

“i told you she was annoying,” rafe whispered in grace’s ear, just loud enough for you to hear.

“i’m annoying?” you rolled your eyes, “i’m the one who has to listen to you two moaning like some fucking porn stars. i tried to ignore it, i did, but i’ve had enough.”

“god, you’re such a bitch sometimes,” rafe said.

“you’re not any better,” you muttered, pulling into rafe’s driveway.

“get out,” you said firmly after stopping the car.

"i hate you so much. i hope i never have to see you again," he said, once he was out of the car.

"you won't. maybe you can get the next bimbo you pick up to do everything for you," you yelled.

you knew that part of this came from rafe's lack of sobriety, but you couldn't help but lash out. at first you didn't see a problem with all the stuff you did for him, but soon you started noticing how he would take advantage of you. you ignored it, hoping that one day it would all pay off and he would confess his love for you and you'd live happily ever after, but as you got older, that possibility seemed less and less likely. now helping rafe and getting nothing in return was getting draining. it was a one-sided relationship. you couldn't be part of that anymore.

"aren't you gonna give me a ride home?" grace yelled as you began to drive off. you stuck your hand out of the driver side window and flipped her off.

when you got home, you cried. that's a bit of an understatement, actually. bawled. you bawled until you were dehydrated and exhausted. this happened over and over again for the next few days. you had also avoided any call or message from topper, rafe, and kelce. topper and kelce had never done anything wrong, but rafe was there first and you weren't gonna make them pick. they even tried to visit, but you never answered the door. you'd avoid them at the country club and at parties. weeks went by and you hadn't seen them. you had made new friends.

the bonfire had snuck up on you and only remembered when one of your friends had mentioned it to you. you got dressed up in a cute summer outfit and did your hair and make-up. when you arrived, you went straight for a drink. you were standing by the fire alone, waiting for your friends to arrive when someone started talking to you.

"hey," he greeted. if you weren't mistaken, he was a pogue. you'd heard about how he caused trouble around town.

"y/n, right?" he asked.

"yeah," you smiled. he was pretty cute.

"jj," he introduced, "i've seen you at the country club a couple times."

"you don't seem the type to hang around there," you commented

"i'm not, but i've gotta make sure the kooks aren't having too much fun, ya know," he joked.

"yeah," you giggled, "hold on, i've seen you at the midsummers before, right?"

"yep, i was helping pope and his dad"

"oh, you're friends with pope! i've talked to him a couple times. he's really nice."

"oh, i know. my man didn't stop talking about your conversation for a while."

"that's cute," you laughed.

"don't worry, he's over you, now. can't say the same for the rest of the island, though," he said.

"what're you talking about?" you asked curiously.

"you and sarah cameron are like these magical kook princesses that everyone island wants to be with," he explained.

"really?" you laughed.

"mhm, not that you would’ve noticed, you’re hard-core in love with kook king rafe.”

“that’s over. i didn’t realize it was that obvious.”

“yes, well staring at someone with heart eyes most of the day is usually a dead giveaway,” he shrugged.

“you’re bold,” you laughed.

“thank you, i have to get my chance to talk to you before rafe realizes what he’s missing out on,” he winked.

“you think he’s missing out?” you asked nervously.

“yeah! have you met you? you’re nice, fun, you’re talking to a pogue without showing some kind of disgust, and you’re hot,” he complimented, causing you to blush and look at the ground.

“thanks,” you said.

“do you need a refill?” he offered.

“sure,” you said, handing him your cup.

he walked away and not long after, rafe, topper and kelce came your way.

“y/n,” rafe yelled.

“what?” you answered harshly.

“why the hell are you talking to a pogue?” he asked.

“why is that any of your business? i thought you never wanted to see me again?”

“i was high, you know that.”

“you’re always high, rafe.”

“is that why you stopped hanging out with us?” kelce asked.

“it was clear rafe didn’t want me around anymore. i didn’t wanna make you guys choose between us, so i made the decision myself. and maybe i was tired of being used by him,” you confessed.

“what the hell are you talking about?” rafe questioned rudely.

“you know exactly what i’m talking about,” you answered, crossing your arms over your chest.

“can we talk in private please?” he said, already pulling you to somewhere isolated. when you two were alone, he spoke again.

“what’s your problem?”

he was standing inches away from you, yet he was towering over you intimidatingly. you took a step back.

“my problem? god, rafe! are you that oblivious? all these years i’ve been behind you picking up after you, cleaning up your messes, doing shit for you. do you know what i got in return? a thank you, if i was lucky. then you’d go and blame me for everything. i was- i am sick and tired of it. i’m tired of caring for you when you clearly don’t give a shit about me. i deserve better, i’ve learnt that. i could have someone who treats me right-”

“then why don’t you?” he yelled.

“because i loved you. i chose you over myself, over my mental health. you knew i loved you, and you used it to your advantage, to get what you wanted. i didn’t get anything in return. you didn’t care about me and now i’m done caring about you. done. i’m done with you,” you yelled back. it felt nice getting all that off your chest.

“you don’t love me anymore?” he asked, sounding a bit hurt.

“no,” you lied, turning around to walk back to the bonfire. a part of you would always love him, but it hurt you too much to do that, so you had to give him up.

“come on, y/n. i’m sorry. we could make this work. me and you could work,” he begged.

“it’s too late, rafe,” you called, not even turning around.

you walked back to jj, a small smile on your face from the thought of him.

“are you okay?” he asked.

“yeah, i am actually.”

[the-littlemxrmaid]

Sunday Afternoon- Eddie Munson

Summary: A quiet afternoon with Eddie in the trailer after an intense night at Hellfire Club

Pairing: Eddie Munson x OC reader

Warnings: minor sexual innuendos, but mostly fluff. Also this was not proofread and I literally wrote it in one sitting

I sighed and rolled over on the bed, stretching as I faced Eddie. He had a cigarette held loosely between his lips as he tuned his guitar.

“What’re you looking at bird?” He took a drag off the cigarette before looking down at me. “Like what you see?”

“Always.” I chuckled as I eyed him, the Iron Maiden shirt that I’d chopped showing off the lower part of his stomach, his sweatpants hung low on his hips. “Can I?”

“Absolutely not.” I pouted.

“What about-“

“Jen, it’s bad enough you go home smelling like weed after coming over, I’m not sending you home high to your parents.” I rolled my eyes.

“Lame.” I tugged at the bottom of my shirt, looking at the other Hellfire club shirt tossed haphazardly across the vanity. Eddie put the guitar down, gingerly laying it into the mattress. “You love her more than me.”

“Nonsense, my fair maiden.” He placed a hand against his chest, turning to look at me dramatically, his hair tossing and his bangs bouncing against his forehead. “Why are you still wearing your club shirt? You never wear that unless we’re playing. Especially after last night-“

“Don’t talk to me about last night Munson, that was bullshit and you know it.” I narrowed my eyes at him, my characters death still a sore spot. “Also it’s yours.”

“Jennifer Anne.” I sat up and narrowed my eyes, shaking my bangs out of them at the same time.

“Don’t ever call me that again. It’s Jen to you, sir.” I shoved him playfully across the bed.

“Okay, okay, I’m sorry… little bird.” He drew out the last word, a devilish smirk grinning across his face as my heart skipped a beat and my face began to flush. “That’s what I thought.”

I was silent as I fell back onto the pillows, eyes flickering back and forth to Eddie and the wall. He rolled onto his side, placing a hand on my thigh, running up it, his thumb rubbing circles.

“Why are you not wearing pants?”

“Because I can’t find where you threw them.” I retorted back, and his expression told me he was biting back a laugh.

“Sorry.” He picked the guitar back up and began to tune it again. “I’ll make you a deal.”

“God, what?” I groaned.

“If you read to me, while I tune of course, I’ll tell you where your shorts have disappeared to, and to sweeten it, I’ll let you keep my precious Hellfire club shirt.”

“Oh how could I ever say no to that.” I replied sarcastically.

“Well I don’t know how you think you’re going to get home without them Jen.”

“Would it be so bad if I stayed?”

“I mean I wouldn’t complain but your parents might kill me.” I sighed. Having to hide from my parents about Eddie made everything seem hard. Counting down the days to graduation almost made it more unbearable. “So, bird, what do you say?” I rolled my eyes and sighed.

“Give me the damn book. And just one, and I get my pants.” He turned, snatching my copy of The Hobbit that I’d let him borrow, a wide grin on his face as I settled up against his side, flipping to the chapter we were on. “Bilbo had escaped the goblins, but he did not know where he was. He had lost hood, cloak, food, pony, his buttons and his friends. He wandered on and on, till the sun began to sink westwards-behind the mountains.”

[sinswithpleasure]

The Playgirl (ft. LOONA's Yves) [Part 2] [Female Reader]

---------------

Hello! I'm back with part 2!

Futa!Yves x Fem Reader, just in case ya forgot.

If you prefer, this is also on AO3 and AFF!

---------------

Yves shows up on time for tutoring, to your surprise.

"Hey baby."

"Don't 'baby' me."

"Sure. Let's start."

"Alright. Open up the textbook. We're starting from the basics. I've printed out some of the prerequisites for this topic, since what you did last time wasn't up to standard due to lack of practice of the basics. Now…"

Yves listens attentively. In fact, things go a bit too smoothly for the both of you. Yves doesn't make any cheeky quip, pull out any pet names, or flirt with anyone that passes by. The womanizing playgirl you knew disappears, and in its place is a focused, dedicated young woman. Sometimes, you even find yourself staring at her work on the problems in front of her. The change is… welcome, to say the least.

Your eyes roam Yves's styled hair, swiped back to expose her forehead, down to her beautiful large eyes, button nose, and full lips.

God, you're gay. Sure, you're literally admiring the beauty of the most insufferable bane of the universe, but you're just so fucking gay and hot people are hot, no matter how irritating they are, so...

When your eyes shift back up, you're met with Yves's smirk.

"See something you like, babe?"

Fuck.

"N-no."

"Liar."

"Fuck off." You rush to change the subject. "How're you doing?"

"I've been done for a while. You would know if you weren't spending the time looking at me."

You refuse to dignify her with a response, checking through the solved problems. With your coaching, Yves manages to get two more questions correct as compared to last time, but she still makes some simple mistakes.

"Okay, here's the issue. In question two…"

---------------

Yves continues to show up for every tutoring session. Somehow, a week passes by, and it is now Friday.

"Good afternoon, babygirl."

"Don't 'babygirl' me. How many times do I have to say it?"

"Mm, whatever. How're you doing?"

"Why do you care?"

Yves pulls out the chair next to you, leaning back on it, resting her legs on the table. She turns to you, grinning.

"Of course I'd care! You're my tutor, and if you don't feel good, you won't be able to teach me properly. If I don't get taught, I won't learn, then I'll fail, and I don't get to win. You know that I always win."

"I'm not sleeping with you."

"That's what you say, but not what you mean."

"Fuck you."

"That's what you'll be doing in five months' time."

"No I won't. Bring out the Calc textbook. We're going through Chapter 4 today."

"Alright, babygirl."

----------------

The change in Yves becomes apparent when she somehow is present earlier than you on Monday morning.

"Yves?"

"Oh, hey babe."

You sigh at the pet name, but having heard her call you that for quite some time now, it doesn't grind your gears as much anymore.

"Don't 'babe' me."

"Yeah, yeah, whatever."

Yves returns her attention to the papers she is working on, and the familiar math problems catch your eye.

"Calc?"

"Yeah. I promised I'll be the best student. Here I am."

"We'll see about that."

"You're looking at it right now." Yves rises from her chair, and in a flash, she has her arm around your waist, her face inches from yours. "I'm going to win, babygirl."

"G-Get off me!" Your face reddens instantly at the close proximity of your lips to hers. Memories of the chaste kiss Yves planted take front and center stage, and you can't help but look away from Yves.

"You're so pretty."

Yves has her gaze locked on your lips, then to your eyes. She is so close, too close, even. Heat flashes all over your body—every touch Yves leaves on you seems to burn.

"I mean it. You're gorgeous."

"T-Thank you."

The smug smirk never leaves Yves's face. She releases you from her smoldering gaze and grip, but she leaves you with a rapidly beating heart and a large distraction for the day to come.

When class begins, Yves tries to take the time to listen to the professor. However, she is soon back to her old ways, flicking paper balls at classmates and being on her phone more than she listens.

"Yves."

"Yeah, baby?" She meets your gaze, her tongue darting out to moisten her dry lips. Her hands carry on working on moulding another tiny paper ball.

"You're not listening."

"I am!"

"What was the last thing the prof said?"

"Um…"

You roll your eyes.

"Best student, my ass."

"I made that promise to you, not to him."

"You won't learn if you don't listen to him either. How're you going to be the best if you can't even do that?"

"Oh, so that's how it is?"

"That's right." You think hard about the words you want to say next, but maybe… maybe it is worth the risk. After all, Yves is still the bane of your existence, but she could be less of that if she keeps up her effort in trying to learn.

"You don't get to fuck me if you're not the best."

You watch as Yves freezes. She stares at you, her jaw hanging, before she steels her gaze to your eyes, staring deep into your soul.

"So this is how you wanna play, babygirl?"

"Yeah." You can feel your bravado slowly disappearing.

"Fine. I'll listen. I'll play by your rules."

Yves leans to your ear, her breath sending shivers down your spine. Her deep whisper makes you shudder.

"You will be mine at the end of the year, baby. I promise you: I'll ace my exams, and you'll love me for it."

Perhaps provoking your seatmate wasn't the best idea. Now you have to deal with the deep flush on your face and neck, as well as the heat between your legs.

---------------

A month passes.

Every week, the same things go by—tutoring, classes, more tutoring, more classes. However, what changes is how close you and Yves get with each other. By no means were the both of you friends, but she isn't as much of a thorn in your side anymore.

[yves💘 sent a message:]

Baby

I need a bit more help with the math from the last chapter.

Can I see you this weekend?

Saturday, 10am, Seoul U entrance?

[You sent a message:]

Sure.

I'll see you.

[yves💘 sent a message:]

Good.

Dress nicely, baby. It's a date.

[You sent a message:]

Fuck off.

You groan when Yves manages to charm you through text. Outfit ideas are already flowing through your head, and you sink your face into the comfort of your palms. Why do you even care about looking pretty for Yves?⁶

Well… that genuine grin she flashed after a muffled gasp of surprise when you wore a dress once in the past month was gorgeous on her. That was why.

You remember Yves actually having the slightest hint of a blush when looking at you, and she seemed to be a little less flirty that day, opting to take short glances at you when she thought you weren't watching. This newfound attention was… welcome. You couldn't deny feeling shy having Yves check you out. After all, you were just the nerd girl in class, and having this attention from a hot girl you could consider a crush not as much of a pain in your ass felt so good.

-----

Saturday arrives, and here you are, waiting outside Seoul University.

You choose to keep things simple: just a simple button-down dress with daisies printed on the fabric. Your hair is tied up in a cute bun. The pink backpack you carry completes the look, with a nice pair of flats.

The sun isn't too bright, and a cool breeze keeps you comfortable while waiting. You can't help but get nervous, though you know it is irrational to feel so. After all, this is just another study session. However, Yves's text to you earlier in the week keeps flashing across your eyes.

'Dress nicely, baby. It's a date.'

You know this is just a study session. However, a part of you dimly wishes that it isn't, before you hurriedly bash those thoughts with a hammer and then set them on fire.

The revving of a motorbike catches your attention before it zooms down the road. You can see the bike move across the lanes, then slowing to a stop in front of you. The rider, clad in all black leather, complete with jacket and boots, seems to freeze in front of you, before slowly drawing the helmet off their head.

"Hey, babygirl."

Yves grins at you, her eyes sweeping over your body. Her gaze lands on your legs, moving up to your torso, your chest, and then to your eyes and hair.

The next words she mutters are meant to be kept to herself, but you hear her anyway.

"Fuck, you're gorgeous."

Your heart takes off, pounding against your chest. You try to hide the flush on your face by staring at the ground, but you field a gaze to Yves, who looks a bit like a deer caught in headlights. She looks so handsome, so cool, and downright fucking hot at the same time.

Hmm… What would it feel like being pinned under her again?

The intrusive thought you have gets stamped out instantly, but the effect lingers—you can't help but check Yves out, feeling a rush of heat deep within your loins.

Her agreement with you was starting to look more and more appealing. Maybe you do have to teach her well.

"Get on."

"What?"

"Let's go. I gotta park the bike, and the cafe isn't close by. Get on."

Yves hands you a spare black helmet, and you hesitantly take it.

"Don't kill me."

"I won't." She grins. "I like you too much to think about doing that."

Your breath catches in your throat. It's not uncharacteristic of her to say things like that so easily, but maybe… just maybe… you want her to mean it.

You get onto the bike as Yves holds it steady. You don't know where to put your hands, but Yves grabs your arms, pulling them to wrap around her waist.

"Hold on tight, babygirl."

"Okay." You can't believe what's happening right now.

"I'm gonna go."

The engine revs.

-----

Yves trails behind you as both of you make your way to the cafe. Yves is quiet along the way, unlike her usual flirting if she caught you staring at her. When you glance back to her, you see her eyes dart away from you, staring at the floor as she swipes her hair back.

Weird.

"Hey, are you okay?"

"Oh, yeah. Never been better, baby." Her reply is unconvincing, especially with a forced grin, but you don't want to really push her for a reply.

"Er… Okay. Sure."

Both of you make your way into the cafe, stopping by the counter to grab the menu. When you sit down at a table, Yves sits across you, her eyes locked onto you as you peruse your options.

"You're staring a lot today, Yves."

"Oh, um, er…" She looks away, her voice soft. This is very unlike her.

"Are you really okay?"

"Yeah, baby. I'm feelin' great, ready to learn, and get good." She leans back, resting her hands on the armrests of her chair.

Oh.

She has a crop top on.

Oh my fucking God, she has abs.

You short circuit.

Two columns of defined muscle greet your eyes, as if to mock you. It wasn't like she was someone you didn't find hot. Now, you have to find out that she also has abs?!

Your mouth dries instantly, and you grab your bottle, taking a swig. The cool liquid quenches your physical thirst, but your mental thirst…

"Don't look too much, babygirl. You might get hypnotized."

Yves tilts your chin up with a finger, moving to lean close to your face.

"My eyes are up here."

Holy fucking shit, she's so fucking hot.

You wonder how you didn't notice them when she had that fishnet and crop top combo. Maybe her pants covered them, maybe you were blinded in your dislike for her. Whatever, you've seen them now. No reason to stop… respectfully staring, especially when you can.

"Look at me."

You meet Yves's smoldering gaze.

"Keep your eyes up here, babygirl." Her warm breath against your lips makes you yearn to lean in and close the gap. "I don't want them anywhere else when they're so beautiful."

You whimper involuntarily, and Yves chuckles.

"You're so fucking pretty, you know that?"

The shame that burns when you squeak and break your gaze to hide in the pretense of reading the menu is something you don't want to admit that you feel coursing through your veins, but it's there. When you lower the menu, Yves has her chin in her palm, her head tilted to the left, a satisfied grin on her features.

"I mean it, baby. You look really pretty today."

"T-Thank you."

"You're welcome. Let's order, I'm starving."

"Okay."

"Oh." Yves leans towards you, lowering the menu to stare into your eyes once more. "You'll get to see what you want to see when I ace the exams. Be patient, babe."

You groan.

-----

That night, you toss and turn on the bed incessantly. Every time you close your eyes, you can feel hot breath across your lips, smell the scent emanating off Yves, and sense her burning gaze on you. Yves's handsome features are burnt deep into your head, and just the thought of her sends your heart pounding and temperature rising.

You think of her abs under her clothes, the defined muscle jumping out to your eyes. She already looks so good, so delicious, and yet, things only go up from here.

The rush of heat between your legs doesn't help things.

You turn again, ignoring your basest desires. Bedtime it is.

[cr0wbonezz-wr1ting-inc]

One more time

Summary: Alex regrets ever saying yes. All he wants is a second chance.

Trigger warning: Mentions of cheating, mentions of sex, swearing, angst

Author's note: my first piece off hiatus !! - you're a twitch streamer in this fic but it won't come up too much :) hope u like it <3

Based on: Break My Heart Again - FINNEAS

you sigh. your ex-boyfriend called again. you've been ignoring your phone for 5 minutes now. was he really this desperate?

you pick up your phone and slide the green button.

"what do you want, alex?"

"___, you picked up!"

he sounded extremely relieved, like he needs you to breathe.

"i did, now what do you want?"

alex sighed and leaned on a wall in his bedroom.

"can i come over? there's some stuff i still need to pick up."

you suck in a breath sharply. the air is thick and tense.

"no."

you clench the phone you were holding and bit your lip.

"i don't want to see you right now."

alex closed his eyes and pushed himself off the wall.

"i understand, you need time."

there was silence for a moment. neither of you wanted to say anything.

"if you want to come over that bad you can get your things tomorrow morning."

"sounds good. i'll be there around 11, okay?"

"fine."

"good-"

you ended the call.

"-bye..."

alex let his arm drop beside him. his eyes were watering, but he wiped it away with the sleeve of his hoodie.

it's his fault, he knew. but why is he still so upset? he shouldn't feel like this - it's is his own doing, after all.

~

you open the door to your home. alex was standing on the porch with a few empty bags in hand. the morning sun blinded you slightly, making you squint at the man in front of you.

"hi ___."

"hello, alex. all your belongings are on the couch.

"great, thank you."

~

he looks over as he's folding a shirt.

"what are you looking at?"

you say without looking away from your laptop.

his face was getting red slightly from embarrassment.

"nothing, you seem busy."

alex directed his eyes back to the clothes in front of him.

"otherwise you would've said something about me."

alex snickered slightly, trying to lighten the mood.

you sigh, holding your face in one of your hands.

don't say it. ___, keep it in. there's no point in fighting him. ___-

"if i wanted to make a comment it'd be about the fact you can't keep your dick in your pants."

god damn it, why did you do that?

he fell quiet. you hated his guts, but even you felt kind of bad for being so blunt with it.

a part of you still loved him. his loud, yet charming laugh. his sweet kisses. his adorable clinginess. his blushing face when you teased him.

you shake your head, trying to physically get rid of your pity for him. he doesn't love you anymore. he shouldn't, and neither should you.

~

after filling the bags with alex's belongings he stood up and wiped his forehead. you waver from your work and look him up and down.

"you done?"

you asked him. he turned around and gave you a weak smile.

"yeah, i think so."

"good, you know the way out."

you turn back to your computer.

"___, wait. can i ask you something?"

you make eye contact with him, fully aware it makes him nervous.

"what do you want?"

alex took a quick breath.

"can we talk sometime?"

you look at him like he spoke an alien tongue.

"why the hell would i?"

"i want to talk about what happened between us. i hate that our relationship is so sour."

he set a step forward.

"i just want this to end peaceful - or at least neutral."

"why the fuck would i want to be peaceful with you of all people?"

"i hate ending things on the wrong foot, you know that."

alex stands his ground, making you livid.

"then we make up, and then what? you'll just break my heart again!"

you stand up, simultaneously pushing the chair away with your legs.

"then i can lay awake and think about why i even let you inside my house again in the first place?!"

if looks could kill, alex would be on the floor.

"fine. if you don't want to, then i guess everything will just stay the way it is."

alex turned around and grabbed his bags. there's no way he's getting through to you right now.

"oh, so now it's my fault?"

you slam your laptop and walk away from the table.

"well, i'm so sorry for being angry at you for cheating on me!"

you don't hold your anger in anymore, he crossed the line.

"i never said that, ___!"

alex yelled to match your energy.

you took a step back. the audacity to yell at you in your house.

"out. now."

alex grabbed the second bag of clothes and without a word walked to the front door.

"goodbye, ___."

alex pushes the door open and steps outside. you go after him but stop at the doorstep.

"fuck you!" you sob out. you grab the doorknob and slam the door shut.

your knees slowly got weaker and you sit against the front door, shutting your eyes.

~

it's been a month since you've seen alex. you've blocked him on everything since then.

you were doing a q&a on your twitch channel and everything was going well. chat was filled with questions and you answered the one's you could.

your thoughts were somewhere else, though.

you still miss him, you really did. alex used to watch your streams all the time. he sent you donations with cheesy pick-up lines, he called you during streams to make fun of you for dying in a game or just to chat while he's bored.

but that didn't happen anymore.

you realize you haven't said anything in a while and you apologize. your chat was spamming purple hearts and 'are you okay?'

"ah, sorry everyone, i'm still tired from yesterday. i think i'm going to end the stream for today, thank you all for coming!"

after saying goodbye you turn off your computer.

why are you still so obsessed over him?! he cheated on you! he even tried to cover it up with a bullshit story about "not being the first to kiss her," and "she forced me to," like someone would believe a lie like that.

yet, you still love him. something inside you wants to believe him, like he really was telling the truth.

~

the next morning you open twitter and scroll for a bit. you made a tweet earlier in which you stated you weren't going to stream today.

you looked at the trending topics and saw your name in bold letters. you clicked on it and read the first tweet that popped up.

'i really hope ___ is doing better, they looked so sad on stream :('

an image was attached to it - a screenshot from the stream you did yesterday where you were mindlessly staring at your computer screen.

you sighed. at least they're not thinking too deep about this.

you scroll further down, replying and liking a couple tweets saying you were alright, thanking them or cracking a joke. this should keep them off your back for a while.

after scrolling for a bit one tweet catches your eye. you clutch your phone as you read the comment.

'kinda obvious they miss quackity :/ it's a good cover-up story tho '

~

alex was staring at his ceiling. he'd seen the tweets about you - about him.

he hates this feeling. he hates the fact that he knows what you're thinking. he hates that he knows it's his fault. he didn't mean to. he didn't.

"come on, alex. you know you want it." the woman said.

"i told you, no! i have a partner!" alex pushed her away for the second time, trying to find a way past the girl and out of this small alleyway. he should've never gone to this stupid bar.

"tch, whatever. but know you'll regret rejecting someone like me!" the girl pushed him to the brick wall and fixed her dress as she walked away.

alex fixed himself for a minute and walked past the bar and into his car. he pulled out his phone and shot you a quick text.

'hey bb i'll be over in a few :)'

'don't come back.'

you responded almost immediately. alex froze as he looked at the screen.

'wdym?'

'you know damn well why'

you sent him a photo of him next to the bar in the alley. the girl was all over him while her lips connected lustfully to his.

'it isn't what it looks like, i didn't start any of this!'

you don't respond. alex tries to send you another text when an error pops up.

'unable to send message. user has blocked you.'

~

you hover your hand over your phone's keyboard. you thought anbout alex's offer to talk, and decided that maybe it was a good idea after all. you couldn't get your mind off him, you thought that hopefully getting some closure could help.

but how were you going to ask him? 'hey, i know i blocked number like a month ago but can you to meet me at some random park? see you there!'

after typing and deleting multiple texts you eventually landed on a message.

'hey alex, i've been thinking about your offer to talk it out, and i wanted to ask if you're still up for it?'

you send it and immediately turn off your phone and place it on the coffeetable in front of you. you did it, finally. you fall back on your couch and pull your knees up to your face, waiting for a notification.

after a nailbiting five minutes a light emits from your phone. you pick it up and read the name calling you. 'alex'. you take a deep breath and answer the phone.

"hi alex."

"hey ___, it's been a while."

you sit up straight, preparing yourself for the conversation you're about to have.

'yeah, you can say that."

the atmosphere was a lot less tense than you expected. it was weirdly... comforting? you can hear alex's raspy voice through the phone. has he been crying?

"i saw your text, you wanted to meet?"

"yes, i did. i wanted to get some closure, at least."

alex chuckled, his laugh making you a little flustered. trying to brush it off, you laugh with him.

"what's so funny?" alex asked.

you rolled your eyes and smile.

"you, dumbass."

he gasps cartoonishly loud. his goofy personality is something you could never get enough of. maybe you were wrong after all.

"ok, but seriously, when do you want to meet?"

he gets back on topic. you snap out of your smile and remember why he called in the first place.

"right, right. i'm free this whole week, you can choose when."

after some planning and back and forth, you decide to meet at a small family-run café in the afternoon. coincidentally, it's the same place you two had your first date.

~

you settle down at a table on the terrace of the café, the sunday sun greeting you warmly. you were a little early, so you decided to think of some questions. it didn't take you long to come to a few, though. your main question was the photo. what was that all about?

as you were handed a menu you saw alex walking on the pavement fidgeting with his fingers.

"hey! sorry if i'm late, i took the bus instead of my car."

he took the seat parallel to yours and exhaled.

"oh no, you're right on time. i was just a little early."

the waitress gave alex a menu and disappeared into the establishment. you both decided to stay quiet before getting on topic. neither of you want to start the conversation.

after both ordering and having surface level conversation for a while silence fell. you both know why you're here, it feels off to talk like nothing ever happened.

"okay-"

"so-"

you both start at the same time. alex awkwardly chuckles while covering his mouth.

"you first."

alex proposes. you nod and like magic lose the somewhat content mood you had prior. you steadily breathe in and pull out your phone.

"so, first things first; my main goal is to get closure and an explanation - there's no point in lying to me."

alex hums in agreement. you could tell he was nervous, you knew him better than anyone. you tap on your screen a few times until you reach the photo that was sent to you.

"now, i want a clear answer. what happened that night?"

you ask him firmly as you put your phone on the table to reveal the image.

"that's my ex-girlfriend."

alex said. you raise an eyebrow - his ex? you've heard some wild things about her and her antics, which is exactly why alex broke up with her in the first place.

"she said she wanted to ask me something in private. my dumbass said yes, because i can't pick up on context clues, apparently."

you cross your arms and lean back on the chair.

"you got that right."

alex looks up from the photo and makes eye contact with you.

"long story short, she pushed me to the wall and kissed me. i tried to push her off but she didn't let me go. after shoving her, like, twice she finally got the hint and left."

~

"so she set you up?"

"she hasn't changed a bit since all those years."

you say with a hint of condescension. his explanation made sense, and from what you heard he wasn't lying. your gut told you to believe him, yet your mind had an itching feeling that there was something else.

"are you sure that's all?"

alex flinched slightly.

"y-yes, ___. i don't know what else to tell you."

you mess with your hair a bit, clearly conflicted. there was nothing else, you knew that. but your brain wouldn't let it go. you decided it's better if you just sleep on it.

"alright, then.-"

you grab your bag and stand up.

"-i think we're done here."

alex stays seated and looks up at you.

"yeah, i think so."

you pick the phone up that's laying on the table. you pull out your wallet and put a $5 bill under your teacup.

"goodbye, alex."

"wait!"

alex stands up and grabs your wrist, the gesture scaring you little bit.

"are you still mad at me?"

those eyes. they're so pretty, almost sparlking. you snap out of it when he lets go, just realizing how weird it is to grab someone's arm out of nowhere.

"sorry, my bad. i wasn't thinking."

alex scratches the back of his neck.

"i'm still deciding if i can trust you, but i appreciate you showing up, at least."

"that's enough for me."

alex smile at you, not trying to pry.

"goodbye, ___."

"goodbye, alex."

~

you heard the chirping of the birds outside your window and groan. why is it already morning? you sit up and grab your phone from the nightstand next to your bed, the phone reading 11:23 - tuesday - xx-xx-xxxx.

you sigh and fall back onto your bed. you've been thinking about alex for a few days now, still not getting him out of your head.

after going downstairs and eating some toast you pull out your phone again, the clock now reading 12:44. you look through your contacts and eventually land on his name.

you hover your hand over the green pixels while sitting down at the dining table. you swallow audibly and click the call button.

it goes once.

it goes twice.

"___?"

'Hey alex, i wanted to ask you if you wanted to meet up again?"

ty for reading <3

m.list

taglist: @adoring-ghost @sakisaralazy @for-memories-sacrifice @ialexabsuniverse @shiyanchan @bioluminescentfrog @esylwen

reblogs >> likes !

[rumblelibrary]

*whispers* oh, hi!

can I request a little thing with Niki Lauda and his beautiful curls? Maybe Niki and the reader going on a roadtrip together and stoping somewhere for the night? 🥺👀

Bouncy Road Trip [Niki Lauda x Reader]

Words Count: 1.6k

Author’s note: It is my first time venturing into Niki’s mind, I hope I did him and your request right ❤️

“Well, it seems a bit late to think again” he remarked, as always his character would strike, even with you.

You chuckled, too used to his antics to really get mad about it.The two of you decided to go to the next race by car, something easy, a road trip to get there directly, enjoy the city, the food, have time to study the car and the track while others are still enjoying the whole set of parties and interviews that followed the race that just ended.

“You were happy to miss Hunt’s drunk hugs” you told him and he responded with a little shake of his shoulders, a parody of a shiver.You came to the idea that he enjoyed to play this rivalry thing way more than he admitted. 

It was something that gave him an edge, something to joke about easily in order to keep his focus on the cars and the changes he wanted to do.You got into the car, you’d drive first because he was just out of the race and wasn’t up to do it again.You were hyped to do the road trip, to be together in such a small space, to be allowed to be so close for such a long time.

You put on your favourite radio station, settled comfortably your seat and wore your sunglasses.

Road trip mood: on.

The sad part was how Niki road trip mood was: nap.

He was rightfully tired after the race, after the nervous days that came before it, but you couldn’t help to feel a bit upset about it.It was typical Niki, reasonable priorities over feelings, he probably didn’t even suspect all those expectations you set up for such a small event.So you drove quality, enjoyed the music and the soft breeze, you looked at him from time to time as he snored lightly, his soft curls unruly moving over his face.

Focus, the road is ahead.

After a couple of hours you felt a warm hand cover yours changing the gear.

“If you want to kill this car you could just run into a tree and make it quicker” Niki grumbled sleepily straightening his posture cracking his neck from side to side.

“Where are we?” He asked as he picked the map rubbing his eyes with his hand as you pointed at it on the map and you smirked

“Good morning anyway sleepyhead” you said shaking your head lightly.Usual Niki.He studied the map silently picking a bottle of water you stacked on side to have a sip, his unruly curls bouncing lightly catching your eyes once more.

“You have seen the race, didn’t you?”You were surprised by the question “of course”

“Do you think he deserved it? Honest to God, I just need an honest opinion of somebody that is utterly deficient of keeping a car for good”

You let out a breathy chuckle staring ahead, it was a compliment and you knew it, it was just his way of complimenting you, to tell you that he knows you have no bias.

“I think he didn’t, but around the beginning he did got the best of your attention” you say after a moment “I mean, he provokes you always and your starts are always a bit off, you’re not in the right mind, I can see how you change along the race and then you show your true colours”

He listens and doesn’t add anything.Maybe you have offended him, maybe not, he rarely lets you know.“At the next gas station let’s stretch our legs a bit, I am hungry” he says and you nod quietly.

When at the station you went to the bathroom first as Niki brought a couple of sandwiches and some snack, along with more water.

“Liquorice, for real?” You ask him looking inside of the bag

 “So you can avoid smoking and pestering the car and your lungs” he groans back as he ate quietly looking at you.You look at him as there’s no aggression from him, it is just Niki worrying for your health, in Niki’s way.He is still upset about coming second, again. It was starting to rub him in the wrong way.

“You know, I have seen there’s this exhibition in the local museum, we should see that, on a free afternoon while the mechanics apply the changes you like, I read that the museums here are open until 10 pm in summer”

He looks at you and nods slowly  “Only if you play the guide”

“Sounds like a deal then” you smirk and he makes half of a smile, he is content.You move close to him as your hand moves toward those unruly curls that scream to be touched, but he stands up throwing the trash in the closest bin.

The second half of the drive before your stop at the motel is on Niki, but you can’t sleep. Sure you put on your sunglasses and got nuzzled on the passenger seat but you couldn’t look away from him, everything was perfect: from the relaxation of driving at a comfort speed to the engine singing for him, the smoothness of the drive made it feel unreal, like you weren’t even moving but you were only still. You moved up taking your book, you opened it up, it was a poetry book but one of your favourite female authors, you leaned your back comfortably as you started reading. Niki looked at you moving his beautiful long fingers over the radio lowering the volume.

“Read out loud”

You were surprised by such a request, but you did.He listened, he was passive but focused on those words letting those unroll over him.You could see his mind was feeling guilty, anger for losing soon turning into that quiet silence he pulled himself into, the guilty one.He had high standard for himself and for others, but on himself he was the hardest and, most of the times, the cruelest. 

The sun was going down and you put the book away staring at him once more, you leaned in, his eyes showing that sad frustration and your hand moved on its own mean over an action you have been craving throughout the day slowly reaching for his head and digging your fingers into his hair. A soft breath of relaxation left his lips, your fingers trailing through the bottom of his head just above his neck and up again.

He rolls lightly his shoulders not commenting your action, but he is clearly enjoying it. So you keep going, you brush your fingers slow and nice, you pull the curls a bit only to make more room to your fingers, you move your hand up on his temple and slowly scratch on the side of his temple going back into the curls.He licks his lips lightly relaxing over your attentions. The radio is still low, nobody is letting out a sound.

“Fuck”

He curses as he yanks the wheel suddenly and you almost get thrown on the back of the car by the sudden motion.He almost missed the exit to go to your motel.You settle yourself back in place quietly, bend down to recollect your book that flew on the car floor.

Once he parked Niki was the first to leave the car to collect your bags, you leaned your back on the seat staring in front of you nibbling on the bottom of your lip. Maybe it wasn’t the right moment, you never knew with Niki. Maybe you fucked it up.

Once you settled into your room you got some room service, the tv was on some old 50’s film in black and white, Niki digging on some chicken salad finally in his comfortable night clothes and a night vest.You were used to the silences, you were used to share those with him, but sometimes it was gutting, you kept wondering if you messed up. If you did something wrong or what was the thing you did wrong. Your own insecurities eating you alive. Once he finished his dinner you showered putting on some night clothing and resting on the big bed beside him as you watched the movie.Then he slowly moved down resting his head on your lap.He looked up at you from that position, the blue light of the screen the only source of illumination.You stare back at his eyes moving your head on side with a little smirk, it looks like somebody enjoyed it back in the car.

But you don’t tease him, you learned not to, and you just go back to that process. He closes his eyes enjoying it. Your hands also enjoying to be back to unruly those wild curls he always tamed, the freedom to be able to do something so simple and so intimate.

“You know I need you right?” He says softly, not even opening one eye, you keep touching his curls, but this time you let him be the one without confirms.He opened his eyes as he slowly looked up at you raising onto his arms.

“You’re my soft side, you’re the art and the beauty and the poetry. I cannot be that, I am not that, but you are, and you, you do me good, you do me better, make me better”

You smile, because he never speaks up, but when he does, he just blows you away.You lean in for a well earned kiss, your hand slowly slipping behind his neck as he pushes you down on the bed.

Tags: @cazzyimagines @that-stupid-head-tilt-thing

Let me know if anybody wants to be added and I will 💕

[not-using-this1]

Helping Bela dye her hair

I made a (crappy) Bela Dimitrescu oneshot because she’s bae and I’m in love with her :) 

I had this headcanon that because Bela, Cassandra & Daniela obviously all had brunette hair in the picture of the castle demo they’ve dyed it (or something else happened but oh well) since then.

Bela got sick of having the same hair colour as her sister Cassandra (brunette) she wanted her own style...to which she asks you (her girlfriend) to help her with along with Daniela to dye hers ginger...with a mix of blood in it.

Yes I made it so Bela and Daniela could go out in the daylight (I prentended those jewels on their chokers protect them lmao)

Pairings: Bela Dimitrescu x fem!reader 

You welcomed yourself into castle Dimitrescu as usual and wuld of hoped that your girlfriend Bela would be there in the main hall sat on the sofa waiting. But, she wasn't which made you think she was either going to jump out at you for fun. "Bela I know you're hiding." You shout as it echoes through the main hall.

You hear a laugh, and just like that she appears in front of you. You expected blood to be around her mouth from feeding (since shes a vampire) she wasn't even wearing her usual outfit, rather she was wearing a corset top and black jeans but with her usual choker with the red jewel placed inside it. "What? You didn't think I'd clean up for my own girlfriend?" Bela chuckles.

"No, it's not that it just looks like your going somehwere" you add. She gives you a small smirk and presses a kiss to your lips "I want to dye my hair blonde, so I thought I'd go out to get some".

You weren't surprised she wanted to change her hair but blonde? You thought she would go for something darker "and where would you get it in the village? If you asked me I would've happily gone to buy you some from the store in the town I go to" you replied.

Bela shrugged her shoulders at you "Well I just made the decision now, do you think we could drive there? I know it's daylight but I'm not exactly gonna burn, the jewel in my choker doesn't allow that" You nodded your head at your girlfriend and agreed.

"Yes! Okay lets go!" She seemed so enthusiastic and to be honest those moments of her like that are rare; Bela had always struggled with her emotions to the point people think she hasn't gotten any...but you know that isn't true.

The good thing was that it wasn't morning or even the afternoon, it was rather that the sun was setting and besides the store would be open still anyway. Bela had grabbed your hand, pulling you to the large castle doors.

"Hi Y/n, Bela where are you going?" Daniela popped up out of nowhere which made you jump slightly. She chuckled at your small action as se confronted you and her sister. When you first met Daniela she was closed off anf very quiet half the time but now, the two of you actually get along very well. "I want to dye my hair blonde, y/n is taking me to the store to get some dye" Bela explained, she just wanted to hurry up and go.

"Oh cool! Can I come? I've wanted to dye my hair red...but with a twist. If you guys get me blonde hair dye and I mix it with blood-"

Bela and you laughed at her but Daniela seemed very serious "Why don't you just buy red dye? Problem solved Whats with the blood being added?" You asked her. "Uhh because it's more fun that way?" She shrugged her shoulders.

Honestly, you stopped questioning Daniela a while ago. You looked at Bela as if to ask for approval to bring Daniela. She rolled her eyes at you and sighed "Ugh fine you can come".

~~~

During the car ride, you had played some music which Daniela and Bela kept belting out. You honestly loved that they were just so normal in these situations even if they're not normal whatsoever.

You were just happy you could show Bela what its like to have fun outside of the other...activities she does (aka being a vampire). As you stopped the car in the store, Daniela wasted no time in getting out of the car to go into the store so much that you and Bela had to stop her.

"Dani, stay here and look after the car. We'll be back and maybe get you a treat" Bela adds to which Daniela sighs and stomps her foot a little before getting back in the back seat "More blood?" she cheekily questions.

"No, Dani. We'll be back soon." You add.

For the most part the reason you left her in the car was because she was wearing what she usually does. Of course you wouldn't mind her walking around with the both of you if only she didn't have blood stains on it.

Bela offered you her hand and the two of you just walked hand in hand to the store. Going over to the part of the store that has beauty and hair products. Bela looked quite overwhelmed that and the fact she had never really been out of her village much at all or to a large store like this. Of course she knew of these things though, she knew what every item was...shes been alive for centuries and has adapted well to changes.

"There's the blonde you'd probably look best in" you pointed her into the direction of dirty but light blonde box dye, she already had a platinum blonde one in her hand but she grabbed the other and put them beside her.

"Which one babe?" she asked you, as if you were some sort of expert on these things. Yeah, you've dyed your hair many times it's currently h/c (your hair colour) which you loved. "Since you have a pale complection I'd go for the light dirty blonde, you'd look so hot" those last words slipped out of you but Bela smirked. Putting back te platinum blonde dye "Daniela can have the same then" she adds.

As you were walking to another aisle as you wanted something for yourself, Bela had grabbed your hand because this guy kept ogling you just because you were wearing a skirt, fishnet tights and a casual t-shirt.

Of course your girlfriend was going to get possessive, she had practically pulled you into her and kissed you in front of everyone who was down that aisle...but you didn't mind one bit and kissed her back.

"He was eyeing you up and down, ugh men disgust me." Bela replies. You wanted to make a joke about her saying that even though she was bisexual but you left it and agreed. After paying for everything you both headed back to the car which all you could hear was rock music from.

"Oh god whats she doing" you laugh.

"Daniela! Daniela!" Bela shouts as the two of you get back in your car, you turn the music down and Daniela gives you an unamused look.

~~~

After a small argument between Bela and her sister Daniela about whose bathroom they'd do it in you settled the argument by saying that they should just use the bathroom down in the main hall. Daniela had collected the blood and mixed it in with the blonde and it turned an actual nice red, so you decided to help her first.

"Daniela, you need to stay still, it'll go everywhere if you don't" you explained. "The blood is already everywhere on the damn floor mother is going to kill us. Not to mention my girlfriend clearly likes spending time with my sisters more than me" Bela pouted, you rolled your eyes at her and plafully punched her arm a little "you get me all to yourself tonight, now help."

During this entire commotion Cassandra had came back up from the cellar and decided to help you, while you helped Bela with her dye Cassandra washed off Daniela's in the tub with the shower after it set for a good hour.

When everything was finally done both Bela and Daniela had new hair but the bathroom...oh that was an absolute tip. You were sure one of the maids would come clean it up...but then.

"Girls I'm home." Alcina shouts as she walks through the doors, she spots you and igves you a small smile "hello Y/n" she greets.

"mother" all three girls say from the bathroom she walks over to them with the biggest shock on her face "Bela, Daniela what did you do?" she didn't sound very pleased.

"We dyed our hair, Y/n took us to a store, so it was really her-" Bela slapped her sisters arm really hard to cut her off from her sentence "it wasn't Y/n's fault mother" She then finishes.

Alcina sighs "no it wasn't Y/n's fault but you are all going to clean this up right now."

"But mother the maids-"

"Now! You too Cassandra, also Y/n" she adds before leaving to her room.

"Great, fantastic" you all say in unison.

Help this was terrible, why did I write this ughhh :(

[your-1up-girl]

A Little Something Different

Pairing: Shu Lyn O'Keefe x F!Reader

Word Count: 4788

Warnings: 18+ (MDNI) lingerie, oral (Male receiving), deep throating, dry humping, use of collar/makeshift leash, spanking, light degregation, Dom Shu (is that a warning?), slight OOC for (maybe) cowgirl, slight bondage (kinda? not really), aftercare. Let me know if I missed anything

A/N: Okay time to feed the Shu stans! Um...I don't normally write smut but a friend of mine inspired me to write this and also @inumakilove was a big help in just letting me thrist over this man with her! I hope you all enjoy the fic! Thank you again for the help Haley!

DO NOT REPOST, TRANSLATE, OR RECORD/UPLOAD TO YOUTUBE.

This was a mistake. 

This was a mistake.

This was a COMPLETE mistake!

Those words were the only things going through your head as you hastily walked through the streets. Even though no one else knew what you had in the inconspicuous bag clutched in your hand, you couldn't help but avoid eye contact with the people you passed. It was ridiculous really, you were a grown ass woman for crying out loud. Paying taxes, getting drunk, paying your own damn bills. You can make purchases like this if you wanted to. Right?

"Yes, of course I can!" You whisper yelled to yourself as you waited for a taxi to take you back to your shared home. Honestly you were worried about nothing. You bought the damn items. The lady at the shop was kind enough to help you pick them out. She even went as far to say you would look drop dead gorgeous. 

"If the man you wear this for doesn't appreciate it, then come back here and I'll worship you sweetie." It was a joke and it did give you confidence, but it still wasn't enough to kill all the doubt that plagued your thoughts. But the time for doubt would have to be put on the back burner because the taxi arrived and you had to give the driver your address. 

The sun was setting as you made it to the home, mansion really, you shared with your five friends and boyfriend. That was another thing plaguing your thoughts. You shared a house. THEY'RE GONNA FIGURE IT OUT! God how could you be so stupid! This whole plan hinged on them being none the wiser as you get absolutely railed by Shu. 

Being intimate with Shu wasn't difficult, per day. It's just that. Usually it would just be a soft kind of love making. Nothing too crazy that would result in side eye glances from any of the other boys or from Teuta. Which was nice. If they suspected anything, they either kept their mouths shut out of respect for you or from threats from said scary boyfriend. Going to a motel didn't feel right in this situation. And a hotel would have been too expensive for the night; not to mention how the hell were you supposed to convince your hitman boyfriend to go to a hotel room at night without having him get suspicious?

"We're here, miss." The driver cut through all her panicked thoughts, YN heaved a heavy sigh. After paying, she walked to the gates and to the front door. 

It was a quiet afternoon. Mozu, Limbo and the others sat along the couch watching whatever was on the TV while Teuta edited her next article from her laptop.

"Oh!" She looked up from her screen when she heard you place your keys on the kitchen island. "You were out for a bit, did you find all that you needed."

"Huh? Oh yeah, I did." You made a subtle gesture to the bag you had a death grip on. 

"You were out for hours and all you got to show is one bag?" Crow asked. "That must have been one hell of a shopping trip." Even though he was curious about the item in question, he didn't make an effort to move from the couch. The person who did want to know more was Helavicta the nosy bastard. 

He approached and came too close for your comfort at the moment, "You seem to be grabbing that bag for dear life, what's inside?" He made an effort to peak but you held the bag closer to you and lightly slapped his hand. It wasn't enough to draw the attention of the others but it was enough for him to be a little shocked at your actions. 

He was about to question it but he got a closer look at you. 

Breath was a bit shallow, hands shaking with nerves, and more importantly he noted, eyes wide. Partly with nerves but he could tell there was a type of excitement he could see. That paired with the flush to your skin, it didn't take a genius to guess what was in the bag. 

"Hmmm. I see. Well then." He patted your head and you cringed at the smirk he proudly wore. "I take it that you'd like to go to your room and rest, yes?" You nodded. "And I'm sure you're not hungry and wouldn't like to be disturbed for the rest of the evening?"

"Yes please." He read you like a book. That and how he knew your room was just across the way from Shu's, he was giving you an out. 

He smiled, it was one that said he would be an annoying tease and hold this over your head for a long time. "Hmmm, okay. I'll be sure to let the others know. And you should hurry," Helavicta whispered "You need to get ready, Shu will be home soon."

She couldn't even muster a thank you as her feet moved without her telling them to move. 

Being scot free, you closed the door to Shu's room. Now all you need to do is get ready. You borrow his shower just to give your body a good rinse from being out all day. Your hair actually looked good so you didn't mess with that. Getting out of the shower you dried off and looked at the bag you left on the sink. It's now or never.

Inside the bag was the set of lingerie you bought for the evening. It wasn't something that you'd ever think that Shu would like. He's constantly said he likes his woman to be more mature even before you guys started dating. You remember the drunken conversations you all had about the "ideal partner" but damn it this set was just too cute to pass up. It was a cow lingerie set. The thigh highs had black trimming at the tops with a sheer black ribbon and the main pattern was the black and white cow pint. The set also had a tie on micro bikini top and bottom that barely covered your pussy and breasts. With one wrong move,  would cause them to spill from the flimsy triangle pieces of cloth also adorn with the classic cow pattern. 

But what you thought Shu would love best was black leather choker with an O ring. 

Stilling your nerves, you put on all the pieces and for a brief moment, you were shocked. You looked absolutely sexy and cute! Adorable even, if that was possible. With newfound confidence, you made your way out of the bathroom and onto his bed kneeling and lightly playing with your nipples through the fabric of the top. 

You knew how much he hated it when you started without him but fuck it! You were feeling bold right now. No amount of alcohol could make you feel this powerful. However, as time passed, the minutes felt like hours and you began to fall once more into that well of doubt. 

He'll hate this. He's probably tired and doesn't even wanna do anything right now. What if he laughs at me!

All the different what-if scenarios flooded over your wall of confidence and you panicked. Quickly, you grabbed a pillow and held it over your body. Trying to figure out what to do next you didn't hear the voice or the footsteps coming closer and closer to the door. Not until it opened and Shu stood there in utter shock seeing you on your haunches covering yourself with a pillow did you realize it was far too late to do anything. 

Fuck was all you could think as he continued to stand by the door. A few seconds passed (but to you it felt like a lifetime) before he crossed the threshold of his room, closed the door, and locked it. All the while not taking his eyes off you. 

Clutching the pillow harder you looked down in hopes of just being eaten alive by the sheets beneath you. Slow footsteps approached the bed and only when they stopped did you look up to see Shu's still unreadable expression.

"Um. I-I can explain." You start, pillow being the only form of comfort you saw at the moment, "I know this isn't something we normally…do. But I just thought that it was so cute in the window as I passed the shop. I kept seeing when I went to work and-and I kept thinking about wearing this for you but-," through all your rambling you realized that tears threatened to spill from your eyes.

Shu gently reached to hold your face. The sudden touch startled you, but the familiar feeling of his rough, gentle hands calmed you to stop rambling. "What you're wearing," he began, "You got it for me?" Shu licked his lips and did everything in his power to hold back the smirk he wanted to show. 

When you didn't give an answer he leaned in a bit closer. "On your knees, baby." You did as you were told, kneeling on the bed and damn if he didn't just wanna praise you for being such a good girl for him. He reached for the pillow to move the bothersome item out of the way. The grip you had lessened, so he took that as the okay to toss it at the foot of the bed. 

God look at her. 

Shu's mind ran wild at the beauty that kneeled on his bed. The fabric cuts deliciously into the skin of your thighs, hips, and breasts. He swallows thickly as he takes in all that you are. You were a goddess to him even in this lingerie set. It all made his cock jump in his pants. The cherry on top what just how fucking flustered you were at everything. You were refusing to make eye contact with him but you greedly enjoyed the scrutiny at which he took you in. If the way you rubbed your thighs together and how your fingers not-so-subtly grazed over your nipples. 

He forced you to look at him, lifting your chin, "I asked you a question babygirl. You wore this for me?"

You wanted to give a straight answer, but something about the smug smile he failed at keeping down pissed you off just a bit, "Well, obviously I wore it for you. You don't see me parading in this in the living-," before you could finish your snide remake, a large palm made sharp contact with your ass. 

You gasped and Shu took the opportunity to grab the O ring on your neck to pull you closer to him. Your chest was against his and the grip he had on your ass made you squirm.

"You wanna try that again?" A knock on the door caused you to gasp. You tried to move away but Shu held you firmly against him. 

"Shu," It was Helavicta, "I convinced everyone to go out for dinner. We won't be back for a while. I know you're tired so I'll let you stay home."

"Fine." Was all he called out before footsteps retreated. “Now, who did you wear this for?” The hand on your ass inched forward and his long fingers began to graze over your covered pussy and you shuttered. It was an action that didn’t go unnoticed by Shu. His middle finger pushed a bit harder and you gasped out an answer.

“You. I wore it for you, Shu.”

“Hmm.” He hummed and brought his lips down to yours. The kiss was sloppy and greedy. You wrapped your arms around his neck; fingernails grazing the hairs at the nape of his neck. Shu moved his finger away from your covered folds and paused just for a minute to hear you whine into the kiss before he started to grind his clothed cock against you. That whine turned into a desperate moan. His hips moved in controlled, tantalizingly slow waves. Every now and then, the clothed tip would catch between your thighs and rub deeper against you. You panted like a bitch in heat but you couldn’t help it because damn was Shu making you feel all kinds of things right now.

Shu, meanwhile, could only stare at the way you looked, a small smile gracing his face. You were stunning. Panting against his chest, covering your face and the small noises you made. “I wanna hear you baby.” He declared before he ducked his head against your neck so your mouth was right next to his ear. The moans you made now clear as day to him. “Be louder. No one’s home.” He spoke right before latching his lips against your neck to suck, kiss, and lick your skin. 

“Sh-Shu!” His name slipped past your lips as his attack on your neck and pussy didn’t stop. It was too much and you felt one hand spread your legs as his erection pressed further into your cunt. It drove you mad. 

Finally, he stopped. Both of your eyes were blown out with lust and your lips were beautifully swollen. The top, slightly askew and nipples hard from being rubbed against. “Do you want more?” You nodded with a fever and perked up at the implications. He smirked at your reaction, “I know you do, but, I still think you need to earn it.” He encouraged you to leave the bed and kneel on the floor. He reached into his side table drawer and put his hair up with his clips. Standing in front of you, you could see just how prominent his erection was and how there was wet stain where the tip was. 

I got that wet just from some dry humping!

Ignoring your embarrassment, you looked up at Shu as he sat down on the bed, knees spread enough for you to get between.

“Undo the zipper.” There was a pause, it just now struck you how forceful Shu was being with you tonight. It was a change of pace and very much not the norm when you guys had sex but seeing the way he watched you like a wolf hunting its prey. And how his demeanor just oozed this dominating energy, you absolutely didn’t hate it. You were taking too long for his liking however, because he hooked his finger around the ring on your choker and he yanked your face to his erection.

“I won’t ask again.” You made a mental note to test his patience on another night because right now you were focused on the fastest route that got his dick in your pussy. A shaky hand reached for his zipper and slowly undid it as you also grazed your hand against his clothed erection. He helped you a bit, lifting his hips up enough for you to lower his pants just enough. All the while he pushed his fingers in your hair, keeping it out of your face so he could see you clearly. 

Next, your fingertips played with the hem of his Calvin Klein boxer briefs. Soft touches against his skin, tracing the V lines that disappear into his Kleins. The grip he has on your hair becomes tighter, a warning that he was losing his patience. Hooking your fingers under the elastic, you finally bring the band low enough for his dick to spring out. You lick your lips and admire the delicious cock in front of you. Long, thick, and waiting for you to suck like the most delicious piece of candy. Shu noticed your lack of movement and he realized that you were waiting for him to tell you what to do next. It was such an adorable sight.

He held your cheek in his hand and whispered, “You want my cock?” You replied with a breathy yes and he smirked at your obedience. “Alright babygirl, but you're not allowed to touch yourself. Understand?”

“Okay.” After your response, he let your face go and immediately he felt those plush lips he craved kiss the tip of his dick. He felt your hands find purchase on his inner thighs to keep them spread as you made slow kisses down his erection. Your lips then kissed his balls and you looked right at him as you gave them a hard suck while one hand played with the tip of his cock. Even if Shu did his best to keep it together, only producing a soft sigh and leaning his head back, his body betrayed him as his hips bucked ever so slightly and you felt his cock released a bit of precum from your actions. You released his balls and licked your way back to the tip, taking it into your mouth and moving one hand to grip his base and give it a light squeeze. That intandum with the sucking and your doe eyes looking at him, Shu was in paradise. He gripped your hair and encouraged you to take him deeper. Doing as you were told, you hollow your cheeks and took him as much as you could; using your hand to jerk off what you couldn’t fit. But that didn’t seem enough for him.

“I know you can do it baby.” He praised you and brought his hips up and pushed the rest of himself in your mouth. It made you gag for a second before your relaxed your jaw. Your tongue felt the heft of his cock and how it twitched when it hit the back of your throat. With a mind of its own, your tongue began to lick around what it could. A moan broke through and caused a sensual vibration on his member. 

“Fuck, you take me so well in your mouth.” Shu threw his head back and led your head up and down his length. Both hands now found homes in your hair as he didn’t stop the slow movements. Drool fell down with your chin. One hand began to fondle his balls again. Using your nails to scrape against his sensitive skin. It was driving him fucking crazy and making you so wet you could feel it drip on your inner thighs. So lost in the heat of the moment, you forget his one rule. One hand made its way to your pussy and you began to rub and play with your folds. You pushed the bikini bottom to the side to get better access to your clit and began to barely push your fingers between your folds.  

Your pleasure didn’t last long because with a yank, you were forced off Shu’s dick and you started a coughing fit. Once you stopped, Shu grabbed the hand that was just on your pussy by the wrist and hooked his fingers through the ring to make you look up at him. The glare he gave you was one of a disappointed master. It was hot as hell and you rubbed your thighs together at how desperately you craved him between your legs. 

“What were you just doing?” His voice was low, dripping with lust, what you didn’t know was that he was glad you disobeyed the one rule.

“I was playing with my pussy.” He let go of the ring and gripped your face.

“You were playing with yourself after I told you not to.” He reconfirmed and you said a soft “I’m sorry'' before he tsked, “And to think I was praising you for sucking my dick so well. I was going to even reward you. You wanted me to fuck you the way you like it right?” You nodded, “You said yes but you finger yourself? Do you really think that your fingers are better than my cock?”

“No Shu I just-I needed it—”

“You were so fucking horny that you just had to finger fuck yourself? You want to come that badly needy girl?” Shu didn’t bother to wait for a response before pulling you off the ground and on to the bed. You laid on your stomach and Shu gave you a tender kiss behind your ear after moving your hair. “You okay?” It was a break in the moment but it made your heart swell to know that even though he could tell you absolutely were enjoying this, he still wanted to check in with you.

“Yes I’m fine.” He hummed. Taking his pants and boxer briefs all the way down he went to grab something from his dresser. A black tie is what he brought back and with it, he tied your arms together behind your back. 

“Shu?”

“Too tight?”

With a tug, you tested the tie. It was enough to keep your arms down without hurting you, “It’s fine.”

“Good.” He spanked your ass. You lurched forward gasping and moaning into the pain. You sunk your cheek into the bedsheets while Shu rubbed your ass. He helped you on the bed so you could face him. He began to take off his clothes while keeping eye contact. The red tie he kept loose on his vest was ripped off his person and looped through the O ring around your neck. Then, he removed the gray vest and tossed it somewhere among the rest of his clothes. The white button up was undone but it was left on. 

Shu joined you on the bed, grabbing on the red tie he brought you to him to kiss you fiercely. It was so passionate and lustful you thought you could melt into his lips. His tongue entered your mouth craving to dominate you more. The closeness of your bodies was enough for you to feel his full mast erection against your stomach. You craved to have it being either forced down your throat or deep into your fluttering cunt. He took a deep breath and teeth clashed from the intensity of it all. When he finally pulled away, there was a string of saliva connecting your tongues. What he did next shocked you. Normally at this point, he would lay you down. Either on your back or stomach and have his way with you, but this time, it was him who laid down on the bed. Shu recognized the confused expression and chuckled.

“Confused?” You could only blink, “Well, since my needy girl wants to fuck herself so badly, you can do it yourself.” He grabbed his dick staring at you with a smirk on his lips and slowly rubbing himself up and down. You were at a loss of words but at this point, you needed him inside of you. Hesitantly, you did your best to arrange yourself to straddle him, with his help. Shu moved your cow panties to the side and reached out for the red tie.

After what felt like forever, you finally sank yourself down onto Shu’s cock. 

“Fuuuuuck!” You nearly came just from the penetration. Walls fluttering against his twitching length both of you needed to catch your breaths. Despite the iron will he had, Shu wouldn’t deny that he was a bit sensitive as well. Your head was thrown back because he felt bigger than normal. Maybe you were sensitive, but his cock fit perfectly, filling you so nicely and the tip just kissing against your cervix. “Shu! Shu!” Already calling out his name without movement, it was pathetic really. But you didn’t care.

A tug against your neck brought your tear filled eyes back to the man below you, “Go on then, ride. Give me a show.” On shaky legs, you brought yourself up, a hiss left your lips to feel every vein against your lower lips. And with a heavy slam, you brought yourself down and you screamed. 

“GOD SHU!” 

Shu held back a groan, he expected you to go slow, not slam down so fast. He watched as you got lost in the movements of riding his thick cock. Your breasts bouncing in the triangle bikini top. The face you had was one of pure bliss. Incoherent praises and moans fell from your mouth. 

It felt like heaven, the only thing on your mind was feeling him plunge into you by your own doing. A sheen of sweat formed on your skin reflecting the moonlight that shone through the window of the night. Shu spanked your ass, a small encouragement followed by Keep going baby, you look so good. Keep bouncing.

“God! I-I don’t want to stop!” Exclaimed through the breaths and pants of your ecstasy, you couldn’t let up with the fast pace you started. You leaned forward and times, and you leaned back to feel the different angles his cock could pierce your insides. You were so sensitive with the need to cum that you could feel every ridge and curve of his cock as you fucked yourself on him.

Shu told you to give him a show, and damn if you didn’t deliver. You rode him with the intention of getting off; if the way you creamed his cock was any proof of that. He could tell you were chasing your high, maybe going too fast. 

Shu called out your name, both out of bliss and out of warning for you. He tugged and with a final plunge he felt your walls flutter and you screamed. You came so hard, your body almost fell on top of him. He caught you. A hand in your hair rubbing you softly. You panted heavily against his chest as he gave you small praises. He undid the tie on your arms and you wrapped them around his neck.

“You looked so beautiful, baby.” He kissed your forehead as you whined. Shu’s eyes went wide and he gasped when he felt you grind against his still prominent erection. “Hey you just came maybe-”

“No!” You whined, “I-I still want more.” You grabbed his face and gave him a hungry kiss. You moaned into the action and continued to grind in his lap despite your sensitive pussy begging for mercy. When the kiss finished you looked into his eyes and pouted, “Please?” You bounced in his lap, “Please fuck me Shu.”

At your request he thrusted into you and held you tighter as you gasped at the sudden action. He propositioned him to be in control and began to piston himself into you. “God. You really are a needy girl, fuck.” You held onto him as he wasn’t going to let up anytime soon, his stamina was better than yours and his ability to calm down so he wouldn’t come was a talent in its own right. 

Shu’s breaths and moans filled your ears along with the wet slapping of skin and you knew that neither party could take it for much longer. 

“Where? Tell me baby, where?”

“Inside, fuck please please please come inside me!” He reached between you to rub your clit fast and you squeezed his cock and came hard for a second time that night. A few more deep thrusts was all it took before he bottomed out and released, painting your warm walls. As this happened, Shu gave a low yet loud moan into your ear. 

Neither of you wanted to move and you let his dick get soft inside you before he pulled out, his cum following after. 

Shu laid you down and kissed your forehead. “I love you.” He said before he left to the bathroom. He came back with a washcloth and by then, you had regained a sense of self and could acknowledge your surroundings. 

“I love you too.” He smiled, wiping his cum from your pussy. You jolted slightly at the wet cloth and Shu used another cloth to wipe some sweat from your body. After, he sat you up to remove the top, bottom, thigh highs, and collar and gave you one of his old shirts for you to be comfortable in. You helped remove the top layer of bedding and layed in the fresh ones underneath. It was silent for a few seconds before you sheepishly spoke up. 

“Did…Did you have fun?”

Shu chuckled, “Fun? I guess that’s one word to describe what we just did. Yeah, I had fun.”

You snuggled closer to him a smile gracing your features at his comment.

“I wasn’t too rough with you was I?”

“Hmmm? No, you weren’t, I actually really enjoyed seeing that side of you. If anything…you could be more rough with me if you’d like?”

“Really?” He looked at you to see if you were joking, but the excited little nod you gave told him everything. “Good, because next time,” He held you closer to him so his lip grazed the shell of your ear, “I want to get a proper leash for that collar of yours.”