#they are gone but not the memories. keep them and keep have faith

[glikozi]

[ultravi0lence14]

Don’t Delete The Kisses

dean winchester x fem!reader

1.2k | fluff

summary: dean couldn’t bare to leave you when him and sam went on hunts. but the thought of kissing you when he got back home kept him going.

the memory of dean’s kisses were all you had when he would leave for long hunts.

every time, you would wait by the bunker door as sam loaded up the impala, holding onto dean as he assured you that him and his brother were going to be okay.

you had faith in them, they had been doing this for a long time after all. but with all the times they’ve died, been brought back to life, and even sent to hell, you were bound to worry a little.

before he’d get in the impala, dean would always press a lingering kiss to your cheek, telling you that he would kiss your lips when he got home. you didn’t understand why at first, but dean finally admitted that if he were to kiss your lips before a hunt, he’d never want to leave.

the eldest winchester always was a protecter. being accustomed at such a young age when watching sam. so even though he knew you were more than capable to handle yourself, the feeling of leaving you alone in a massive underground bunker where he was too far to keep you safe always had him worried.

you never wanted to be on the battlefield, always wanting to stay at home with bobby, read lore books, and give tips and advice to other hunters when needed.

but bobby had passed away, leaving you in the hands of the infamous winchester brothers.

not wanting to leave the only home you knew at first, you were adamant on not leaving with sam and dean and living a life on the road. but after the bunker came into the picture, and dean crawled his way into your heart, the past two years had gone by in a blur.

sitting and waiting for the boys to call was all you did at first, but after realizing some alone time would benefit you, the copious amounts of books moving into the bunker became something sam and dean got used to.

before the phone would ring with sam and dean on the other line, you’d be found in your room, book in hand as you absorbed new worlds and forms of literature. when that got too much for you, you’d find yourself sat in front of a tv, a new show playing every other week as you went through them pretty quickly to sam’s concern.

but you would still have that nagging feeling of dean’s absence. it settled deep into your bones, having you miss him so dearly it almost hurt sometimes.

he was the first boy you ever truly loved, and you’d be damned if he was torn away from you.

so you waited. waited for the fateful moment when the roar of the impala could be heard. when dean would come down the stairs and instantly go and try to find you. for when he did, dean would not waste a second in crushing his lips to yours; finally getting the feeling of you close to him again.

today was no different. sam and dean had been on a case in missouri for the past week tracking a vampires nest, and you couldn’t wait until they came home.

castiel had stopped by a couple days ago, but he had to leave quickly when the angels in heaven needed his assistance. you were left alone, reading the lore books that you hadn’t picked up in the bunker while playing online sudoku with charlie.

you had ventured into the kitchen only a half hour ago, grabbing a small snack before finding comfort in your bed. a new book was opened on your lap while an episode of your favourite tv show quietly played in the background.

the calming atmosphere you had created was quickly broken as the door to the bunker opened, the sound of boots clambering down the stairs as sam and dean’s voices flooded through the air.

you smiled to yourself, sitting up in bed and patiently waiting for dean to find his way to your room. when the door creaked open, you couldn’t help a wider grin breaking out onto your face as dean’s tall frame stood in your doorway.

he didn’t waste a second. coming to you in two long strides as he pushed you back onto the bed and smashed his lips onto yours. his hands found a home on your face as yours quickly went to his hair, threading your fingers through the strands as his moved from your cheeks down to your shoulders.

breathing in heavily as you pulled away, dean moved off of you so he could lean against the head rest of your bed. moving to pull you forward until you were attached to his side.

dean’s lips instantly went to your forehead, placing a delicate kiss before resting his head on yours. “god baby, i missed you so fucking much.” he all but breathed out, allowing you to curl deeper into his side.

placing a kiss on the inside of his arm, which was wrapped around your shoulder, you lifted your head so you could properly look into his eyes. “i missed you too. far too much than i should’ve actually.”

all dean did was laugh, shaking his head as he moved his chin to rest on top of your head. “thought sam was going to punch me for how much i was talking about you.” all you could do was lean up to place a quick kiss on his lips, slightly leaning back so your faces were close. “that makes us even then.”

for the next couple of hours, you and dean just calmly rested in your bed, quietly talking to each other about the case and what you had been doing for the past week.

the two of you could’ve stayed there forever if it wasn’t for sam peaking his head in and asking what you two wanted for dinner. when you all agreed on something, sam offered to go pick it up, promptly leaving as you moved to get off of dean’s chest.

“thinking of making some cookies for dessert, wanna join me?” you sat on the edge of the bed, dean reaching over to wrap his arm around your waist. only moving to rest his chin on your shoulder after your proposal of a sweet treat. “i’d be stupid to say no. cmon sweetheart, sam will be back soon.”

that’s how you spent the rest of your evening. baking with dean as you waited for sam to come back with dinner. ending the night as you and dean watched a movie to help you fall asleep.

dean looked down at your sleeping frame, stroking his fingertips up and down your arm as he wondered how he got so lucky.

he had a place to stay, his brother helping him fight the supernatural, and his girl by his side. what more could dean possibly want in life?

dean sometimes found himself thinking back to all those years ago, when he broke into sam’s apartment at stanford to bring him back into the hunting life. he was a 26 year old who spent his time with meaningless one night stands, leaving them in the morning and spending his energy on finding his dad. back then, dean didn’t think his life would get this good.

brushing your hair back from your face, dean realized he wanted to cherish each moment he got to kiss your lips. he wanted to remember what it was like to kiss your forehead, or even the small section of your palm. for forgetting what it was like to feel your love seeping into his pores through your delicate kisses would possibly be the worst thing to ever happen to dean winchester

[flyingseacow]

Ok ok ok.

Finished Cult of the Lamb (right in time for the next update)

And now I got all these thoughts.

Like the bishops?

People are already doing so much interesting stuff with Narinder, so I got nothing new there. But the others?

Leshy is interestingly enough the most elaborate and thoughtful of them, the snippet about his crown was almost poetic.

Kallarmar however, he really surprised me. Based on his previous behavior, and what the others said (including ???) I had expected a frightened sniveling crybaby, not this calm sassy thing. Not only does he seems to be the most accepting of their new life, he is super calm and friendly with the lamb.

Then I realized.... Oh. Kallarmar has already gone through his worst nightmare. He has already died, multiple times. And since the lamb has done no new harm to him, he has no real reason to fear as long as he is a good little follower. (helps that he got the absolute cutest voice) Oh yeah, and the fact that not only does he claim he was pressured into helping with binding Narinder, but also that his relic summons a skeleton - one that seems very clearly to be based on Narinder?? I have thoughts.

And Heket? Heket seems angry, but reluctingly accepting of her new life. And I realized, after what happened with Shamura, Heket was the one keeping the bishops together. For a thousand years, she was the only real thing holding up the old faith. Shamura too wounded to handle it. Leshy too young and well, chaotic. Kallarmar just wanting to hide away in his temple. She must have been under so much pressure. And she is the next youngest in the group!

Shamura is just such a tragic character. I had expected them to be more damaged without their crown, but seeing how disoriented and stuck in memories and half addled thought they are? Damn.

When I gave them the spider silk their reaction was a gut punch. I had this clear mental image of them running the silk though their fingers, mumbling to themselves, barely aware of the lamb.

Ugh, I really hope Sins of the flesh gives more lore. I got all these feels.

[moonstruckme]

hi! congratulations on 8k! i know no one who deserves it as much as you! i hope you are having a lovely day. just wanted to request this if it hasn’t been done before:

hot cocoa☕️; ‘coming home’ with james

the way you write is so soft and gentle and reminds me of when my mom would dump laundry that just came out of the dryer on me as a kid so thank you so much for being a source of comfort to me:)

thank you either way!

Oh that's the best feeling, thank you so much!

cw: vague mention of reader's "friends and family," which in my head could mean chosen family, I tried to keep these people very obscure so sorry if that makes the writing feel unnatural

James Potter x fem!reader ♡ 857 words

James watches you with an odd sort of pride as you navigate the contours of a beat-up road on instinct and memory.

You’ve become more obviously familiar as your little road trip has gone on. It’s endearing, your posture changing and fingers sure as they turn the dial to a radio station you must know; you’re getting closer to home. James rolls down his window and breathes in the scent of dogwood trees and wet soil, and he imagines you smelling these things every day for so long they became a part of you. You curve around a pothole so naturally James doesn’t think you’ve noticed yourself doing it. 

He realizes the wind is messing up his hair, and puts up his window quickly. 

You notice his unease. “What?” 

“They’re going to think I’m a mess,” he says, flipping down the visor above his seat to fix his hair in the mirror. It always looks disheveled, but he was hoping to have it less so to meet your friends and family. 

You laugh. The sound relaxes James some, light and sweet and all things lovely. “They are not,” you say. “You’re going to charm the pants off of everyone without even trying, and then they’re going to vote to replace me with you.” 

He grins, slotting a piece of hair behind your ear that had come loose when he’d let the wind in. “I wouldn’t let that happen to you, lovie.”

“Not sure you can help it.” You look at him sideways, teasing. “Everyone falls in love with you instantly. I’ll seem bland by comparison.” 

This is something you’ve repeated often since inviting James home with you—not the part about you seeming bland, which is the most ridiculous thing he’s ever heard, but about everyone liking him. You have an unshakeable faith in his ability to get on with people. The word irresistible has been employed once or twice, and James doesn’t have the heart to correct you (Sirius’ parents seemed perfectly able to resist him. Argus Filch would probably still have James’ bollocks in detention if it were in his power). Every time he’s suggested you might be biased you’ve waved him off. 

Still, James isn’t very nervous. He’s going to meet the people that have been your home; loving you is something they’ll all have in common. 

“You could never be bland.” He leans over to smooch your cheek, chuffed when it squishes with a smile with your eyes still on the road. “Anyway, if they try to excommunicate you I’ll only go with you.” 

“Will you?” you ask, pleased. 

“Course. You’re my favorite.” 

You make an amused humming sound, reaching for his hand. Your fingers are cold, and James sets about warming them, rubbing his thumb over yours. “It’s that sort of sweet talk that’s going to have you sitting in my spot at the table by dinner,” you say, “just you watch.” 

“We’ll sit in it together,” he replies, stroking a line down to your wrist. “That’ll show ‘em.” James probably shouldn’t be talking about your people like they’re antagonists already, but he’s gotten distracted by the sweet bit of skin where your long sleeve has slipped up your wrist. He leans down thoughtlessly, pressing a kiss to the intricate linework of veins showing beneath your skin. 

James comes from an adolescence of dorms and locker rooms. Having had multiple serious conversations fully naked, nudity doesn’t tend to phase him. He is, however, an eighteenth-century gentleman for you and only you. The delicate bumps and creases of your wrists and knees make his heart flutter in a way he has to imagine is medically dangerous. 

These are feelings he’s going to have to get a handle on while meeting the people you grew up around. 

James sighs. “I should have brought a dish.” 

“Don’t,” you chide. Your fingers tighten on his, squeezing reassuringly. “You didn’t need to bring anything, there will be too much food anyway. Are you really still nervous?” 

“Not very,” he admits. “I do want them to like me, though. And…don’t get after me for chauvinism or anything, but I want them to think I’m taking good care of you.” 

You slow down at the side of the road, and for a second James thinks you’re stopping to console him, but then he sees the line of cars parked in front of you. You’re here. 

You turn the car off before taking off your seatbelt, turning to face him. “You take very good care of me,” you tell him, soft and kind with your hand on his cheek. “You don’t need to worry. They’re going to love you for all the same reasons I do.” 

James raises his eyebrows. “I’m not taking my shirt off for them.” 

Your eyes sparkle beautifully when you laugh. “Maybe not those reasons. But really, when has anyone not liked you?” 

“I could make you a list…” 

“It’d be exaggerated.” You roll your eyes, kissing him once before reaching into the backseat for your bag. “Ready?” 

James smiles, the warm impression of your lips still tingling on his. He'd go anywhere you asked him to.

[i-cant-sing]

i was just minding my business like scrolling to find new fics to read since i was so so bored and while i was finding some delicious fics (ahem ahem: yandere big brother bakugou x little sister reader) ur post suddenly idk the word (lumitaw (its a filo word)) and i was screaming and immediately dropped what i was supposed to read to read yours 😭😭😭

i got the worst memory ever to exist because i keep forgetting their names but i think i'll grasp them once the next chapter is out (hopefully) but yeaaah!!! baris reminds me of abbas in a way but ig he's a bit more.. brute yk what im talking about????? ig he's ok..

OH! and i have a theory about the painting, y/n's face getting smudged maybe because baldwin or SALAUDDIN decided to smudged it to forget how they look due to heartbroken (prob not baldwin,, but i feel like salauddin would do that ??) i guess im getting married again 😔😔 i feel like im betraying my pookie salauddin 💔💔💔🙏🙏 BUT ANYWAYS THANK YOU FOR THE UPDATE SNOW!!!! AMAZING AS ALWAYS!! can't wait for the next one already!! 😭😭😭 i think i'll send more of my thoughts if something crosses over my mind (prob when im in the shower)

ooohh i like your theory(portrait pictures at the end). i like it a lot. expanding on it:

Baldwin would probably cause the painting to be smudged because he's kissing it, kissing your lips, drunk off his mind, tears streaming down his cheek as he spends hours sitting in front of it, talking to the painting as if u still exist, begging u to come back from heaven, even apologising for all he's done, just please- come back, angel...

Meanwhile Salauddin would probably be staring at your portrait angrily. He understands why you had to leave but.... you couldnt have told him where you were goinh? Do you not think he couldve protected you? He wouldve used his whole army, gathered Muslims from all around the world to protect you. Did you... did you not have the least bit faith in him? deep down, he knows u did this to prevent a war between him and baldwin but.... Salauddin wouldve gone to war for you. Happily. This wasnt your decision to make alone. Now, he stands in front of your portrait, he has it in his palace now, and he doesnt say voice it out like baldwin, but he has complaints. HE keeps them inside, mentally talking to you, telling you just how stupid you were for sacrificing yourself, for jumping off that stupid cliff. How u shouldve just- just asked him for help ONCE, and he wouldve fought until his last breath if it meant keeping u safe. In his mind, u sacrificed yourself to protect Baldwin from murdering innocent muslims or anyone else u wouldve seeked help from.

And now? All Salauddin can do is pray for you. He wakes up late into the night and sits on the prayer mat, making dua for you for hours, reading Quran for you, has animals slaughtered on eid on your behalf, even doing charity and hajj (pilgrimage) on your behalf, just so that you can have more good deeds in your name. He still has the chess board u gifted him, but he's stopped playing chess. He never played the game again, it was only a painful reminder of you. The one person who he could never beat.

As for your painting, why it was smudged? Salauddin didnt want anyone to see your beauty, thats why he kept the portrait hidden in his room, but then he feared that one day when he's not around anymore, someone will see you. So, he used a rag soaked in turpentine to smudge your face, but couldnt do more than just the bottom half of your face. He thought that was fine, after all, thats how u did often appear when you were around, wearing a niqaab, a veil that covered your face.

Now that he looks at your eyes, he realises his mistake. He heard the wise tell him-

"Eyes are the windows to the soul."

He now knows it to be true.

This is what I think the portraits look like:

Notice that this is the earrings Salauddin gifted Y/n when she was in the market with him:

How Baldwin's been:

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for "using" a cucumber and putting it back in the fridge?

(🥒👌 to find later)

Please, I know it sounds nuts but hear me out. I feel awful and I need to know just how bad this is. Also, I intentionally left as much as possible vague as I am a minor and I do not want this to get removed for being too explicit. But the story will not make sense if I don't include certain things, please understand.

So I (16M) grew up in and currently still live in the bible belt, with extremely conservative evangelical parents. As a taste of what it's like, we have church 3 times a week, and church camp every summer. We are only allowed to access Netflix through a stupid content filter app and we can only use a restricted smart phone that is regularly checked at random by our parents. We get an hour and a half of computer usage every other day, and the internet on the computer is heavily filtered also. The only reason I have access to Tumblr and am able to post this now is because my best friend's older brother gave me his old android for my birthday a few years ago. His family is much more open minded, and I'm very close with them. I also think they have always felt a little bad for me with my family being the way they are.

I'm also gay. Obviously, my family does not know, and I intend to keep it that way. I won't go too deep into it, but it will suffice to say I struggled a lot when I was younger over this. The good thing is that in the last few years, I've been able to accept myself more and come to terms with what my own feelings about religion and faith really are. I came out to my best friend and his brother a little over a year ago, and they've been very supportive. I have yet to tell any of my other friends.

Recently, I've been trying out alcohol since my friends found a hookup. Something I have discovered is that I tend to get lewd feelings when I drink, which has nearly caused a few embarrassing moments around friends. Coincidentally, I have also been experimenting with... certain things. Being a minor, I obviously can't enter any of the adult stores around me, nor would I feel comfortable asking any of my friends to drive me there if I could. I also can't order anything online because my bank account is connected to my parents, and I don't have a shipping address I'm comfortable using for those items either. So instead, I use household objects that belong to me and can be sanitized easily. You might see where this is going.

Yesterday evening, I came home from best friend's house with a full bottle of wine in my backpack. We and a few other friends had already been sipping on a few beers that afternoon, and I still felt a little buzzed. After my family went to sleep, despite already having a little alcohol in my system, I proceeded to get wasted on this bottle of wine in my room. I don't have the clearest memory of all of this, but at some point, I got hungry and lewd-feeling. Went into the kitchen and, through some kind of thought process I can only imagine now, came back into my room with a cucumber. From the title of the post, you can hazard a guess as to what happened to this cucumber. Once I was done, I drukedly and quickly washed it in the bathroom sink and threw it back into the fridge. I went to sleep.

I started freaking out as soon as I woke up this morning. There were four cucumbers in the fridge, I was pretty positive at least two were going to be used for dinner tonight, and I had no idea which cucumber I did the deed with. To make matters worse, my mom was inviting the pastor of our church and his family over for dinner. I have practically no money currently, no license or vehicle, and no friends with vehicles free to pick up new cucumbers for me (and no reasonable explanation as to why I needed them to spot me for four cucumbers specifically). I also have no believable reason to give for why we shouldn't have cucumbers added in the salad mix. My mom knows I love them, and they haven't gone bad. Can't say I ate them because who the hell eats four raw cucumbers? And she'll interrogate both my brother and I until she gets a satisfying answer if I just throw them out. I didn't know what the hell to do about this and I was close to having a panic attack, so... I took a nap.

Evening came. Guests came over, dinner happened. We had porkchops with macaroni and side salads. Cucumbers were in the salad, and I along with pastor's family and my own, ate it like nothing was wrong. My parents, the pastor and his wife had an engaging conversation about politics, religion, and some mild church gossip after dinner. My little brother continued to read his book, and I had a very awkward and one-sided conversation about Young Sheldon with the pastor's daughter. Then they left. And I went to my room to mentally implode.

To say I'm horrified is a major understatement. I don't think anyone is going to get sick because I scrubbed all of the cucumbers with soap multiple times and cleaned the vegetable drawer with bleach when I woke up this morning. I guess I also don't know that the violated cucumber was one of the ones that was used for dinner tonight, but then it's only a matter of days until we have salad again, or if mom cuts one up for water. I've rattled my brain for any way I could get some new cucumbers without telling anyone the details of the event, but I have nothing. Don't even have the money, anyway. Gave up the last bit of cash I had for the damn wine yesterday, and I have $0.43 in total on my debit card.

Admittedly, there is a very small part of me that doesn't even really care if they have eaten or end up eating the damn thing. I can't stand my family. My parents are invasive, controlling and neurotic, and don't give a shit about how I'm doing in so far as it pertains to god and the church. I'm a little more sympathetic to my brother as he's been stuck in this hell with me, but at 13 he's already begun to regurgitate way more religious dogma than I ever did at his age. And I know for a fact that they would want nothing to do with me if they found out I was gay. They'd probably kick me out on the street and spit on me if I had to guess. But even still, this is only a small part of how I feel. What I did was still so gross, and no amount of animosity I have for them can change how mortifed I am. I do have at least a semblance of a conscience.

So...AITA for all of this? WIBTA if I did nothing about the other two cucumbers? Please help.

[mx-pastelwriting]

RDR2 HC - Running away together & what would it take

RDR2 x GN! Reader

Summary: Running away together & what would it take for them to.

Warnings: Angst, Fluff, Established Relationship, Running away, Some Happy Endings

Characters: Dutch van der Linde, Arthur Morgan, Javier Escuella, Charles Smith, Bill Williamson, Hosea Matthews, John Marston, Josiah Trelawny

Dutch van der Linde

- A hard task in itself, prying Dutch away from his power over the gang, it's an almost impossible task. Though echoing Hosea's words to lie low would earn you some time in having a voice over Micah's, he would consider it.

- Nightly talks cuddled up in his arms, imagining life away from the one you have aloud; he entertains it, but not without saying some doubtful scenarios. Having to change your ways, almost manipulating him into taking that life as a real thing.

- Never leaving his side, hearing every thought, not giving Micah a chance to talk to him in private, in turn driving you crazy. Doing anything for that good life, leaving your intentions to change just to get your Dutch safe.

- Every day drained you; all that work had finally caught up to you. Slowly, you lost faith as the gang came into more trouble, making you come to a realization. You made your choice.

- A night of loving Dutch one more time, cuddled up into his arms, then having to leave them. Leaving him in a deep sleep with a final kiss. Taking your horse he had gotten for you a long time ago and what little clothes you had left from all the years of running. Finally leaving in the cold night, not daring to look back.

A year had gone by, and still you dreamt about that day and its many outcomes, but all you could do was smile at the memory of his messed hair loving him for that final night. Telling yourself over and over that it spared the both of you, there was no use to keep trying. Leaving to build your own life, living out your dream that you tried so hard to convince Dutch of so many times.

He would have loved it, just the two of you; he just couldn't see it. Getting up from your bed, dressing up for the day, and having to live off of the small land you fought to get months after. Making your way to the kitchen, readying breakfast before your day of work, but a knock interrupts you from the task.

Grabbing your old weapon, hoping it still worked, then walking slowly to the door, pointing the weapon from your hip. Upon opening the door, your mind and body went blank. Dutch was standing at your front door, looking like shit. "Dear," he says, voice cracking. Even after all this time, he charmed his way into your heart, igniting your love again.

-

Arthur Morgan

- You both have always talked about that kind of life and what it would be like, but it always ended as a joke and never as something to look forward to. Until you really thought about it, hearing Hosea's story of him and his wife fed into your dream.

- Bring it up to Arthur one night, making sure he took it seriously, not knowing what to say, only he couldn't leave the gang just like that. Over time, you pushed the matter, and he always listened but never said anything.

- Being with the gang for a long time, you watched it change as Dutch came into more trouble. Finally, it hit a breaking point when Arthur went missing from the meeting with Colm O'Driscoll. The camp had to calm you down, but it didn't stop the tears every night, fighting your mind to just leave, but it turned to worry that if he'd come back, you needed to be there for him.

- After days of the gang searching, you finally spotted Arthur's house with him on top, thinking you had just gone crazy. Hearing his groans of pain, you ran to him, crying aloud, causing the camp to spring into action, with some having to hold you back so the rest could work.

- After an hour of working on him finally letting you see him, never leaving his side as you waited for him to wake. Hosea brought you something to eat every day, knowing what you had been going through.

Snapping from your exhausted state as a groan came from Arthur, watching as he stirred from his rest. Tears once again spilled from your eyes while grabbing his hand and placing it to your cheek. Waking fully, he whispered your name, running a hand through his hair earning a hum from him as he rested his eyes once again.

"I thought you were dead," you whispered, kissing his hand earning another hum. "Okay," he whispered weakly, making you look at him meeting his blue-green eyes. Taking a minute for you to understand, you nodded, "Tonight." You responded, getting only a weak nod back. Quickly getting up to then plant a kiss on his lips before preparing your leave.

-

Javier Escuella

- Being so loyal to Dutch, as soon as you'd bring that idea of life up, he'd tell you of the time he tried to find that kind of life, with it ending with Dutch saving him, in turn needing to repay Dutch with his life. A life for a life.

- Still, of course, you stayed with him, but it didn't stop you from trying. From mentioning small things, such as telling him to look at the homesteads as you passed them or talking to couples who owned their land, hearing the stories of home life making sure Javier was near you to hear.

- Wishing aloud to love him behind closed doors, but he brought up the suggestion of a hotel quickly you shot it down with wishes of loving him in your own home. Unknown to you, it wasn't till the end that he would change his mind.

- Seeing as he buddied up with Micah breaking your heart, seeing what Micah did to Dutch, there would be no way he would sink his claws into your Javier. Realizing it even more after hearing Arthur's words confirming your Javiers changed, solidifying your thoughts. Having to do the only thing that was left.

- Grabbing a bag, you started to stuff your things into it. Hearing footsteps come closer, you didn't look up, knowing who it was. When asking what you were doing, you told him you were leaving him. Shocked, he begged, but you gave it to him in the end, giving him an ultimatum. You or Dutch.

Pain washed over his face. He looked to the floor, hoping it would have the answer, but you continued packing. "Amor," he begged, but you kept your back to him as much as it pained you. "I can't do this, Javi," you say, tears stinging the brim of your eyes. "Tell me," he says, putting a hand on yours.

"All of this, you hate Micah. What changed?" You asked, making him look away, but you brought his face back softly with your hand. Cupping his face, "I know you see it. He's not well. I'm not going to stick around anymore, Javi," you say, turning to zip up your bag.

"It's your choice," you say before grabbing a few more things. "I can't," he says weakly. "Okay," saying your final words before walking to the horses, putting your things onto yours before hopping onto your horse.

Taking a last look at the camp, not caring who chose to look. Hearing as the horse next to you stirred, looking to see Javier hop on his with his belongings behind him. Smiling at each other, you turned away from camp, taking off quickly to start your new life.

-

Charles Smith

- Having been in the gang for a small amount of time, he had never shut down the idea, though never did he start to make plans on it. Figuring it was from his friendships with Arthur and John or him just settling in having run with him before the gang, you were of course thankful for them taking you both in, but shaking off the idea was never going to happen.

- Taking long rides on the days he got off, hugging his waist while resting your head on his back, talking about many things: camp gossip, your past travels, the future. Sometimes passing by a homestead watching as the people worked away at their land, imagining out loud how that would be, it would be better than always running.

- He loved you dearly; it pained him whenever leaving you to do a job with the gang, but you hated it more when he came to you from a watch stumbling on his tired feet to then crashing into your arms falling asleep before he could even mumble, "I love you.".

- Making his choice after the bank job that had gone wrong, having to bury Hosea and Lenny's bodies, the both of you talked about the decision ending with a kiss and the start of packing your things. Though quickly interrupted by the law, causing you to run once again, making you both stick around the gang a little longer.

- Knowing it put the both of you in more danger, he tried to make it quick by using the gang to help the tribe, only meeting them once by going with him, you understood. Finally, the day came telling only Arthur and John and those closest to you, getting hugs and wishes of luck to your new life.

Waking to the cooing of birds wrapped in the warmth of Charles's arms, hearing him snore softly, kissing his scared cheek, waking him from his slumber earning a smile. Looking at you with tired brown eyes, taking a moment to admire your well-rested faces.

Wiggling out of his arms with an objection as he tightened them, making you both laugh before you headed off to the kitchen in your homestead, but not without getting dressed first from the night before. Having been years since that day, leading to a new life, though the past caught up a year later, causing Charles to go with John just to make Dutch and Micah pay for all those years ago.

Of course, coming back to you with a bullet in the shoulder and a promise to never leave you again, from John's home, you both made it up to Canada, living out your dream of a homestead. Ending your reminisce on the past as Charles wraps his arms around you once more, kissing your neck softly while you readied the morning drinks.

-

Bill Williamson

- It had never been an idea to the both of you from all the years you ran with the gang until going into town. Seeing how a couple talked about their lives after getting that first taste of that kind of life, you never looked back.

- Not telling Bill at first, wanting him away from Dutch a bit before springing it upon him after one of your hotel nights away, he entertained your thoughts, though laughing at some parts until he realized you were serious.

- His first feeling was anger at how he could never do that to Dutch, but you argued that Dutch doesn't control your lives. Finally, he calmed down, telling you he looked up to Dutch. Knowing how he wanted the limelight that Arthur and John had, you convinced him that even if it was painful to say and hear, he would never be them. His obsession can't control him.

- Even though he listened with understanding, even agreeing, he told you the time wasn't right. Giving your understanding back to his reasoning, you stayed with him. But things didn't stay still for forever.

- The bank job had gone wrong with the law running you out of Shady Bell, feeling as if it was years before you got Bill back in your arms after hearing tales of him on Guarma. Having enough, you started to pack your things, causing Bill to freak. Hearing none of it, you gave him a choice. Hoping he would pick the right one.

Standing in front of your horse, holding your bag tightly, "I've hit the end, Bill; I-I can't. I can't stay up every night hoping you're alive; it's not fair to me or you." You choked through your words, causing a scene for the whole camp to see, but you didn't care; you were done.

Seeing his hesitant look back at Dutch, who watched on calmly, you had your answer. His continuous seek for approval from Dutch would never stop, and you weren't going to be around to watch it kill him or you.

-

Hosea Matthews

- Having left before he would hear the idea once again, not shooting it down immediately though ending your talk with how his story ended, right back where he started.

- As time went on, his coughs had gotten worse, as well as his attitude towards it, helping with his cough fits earned a hand wave and a choked-out "I'm fine." But you kept pushing, knowing if it was the end for him, it should be anywhere but running with the gang.

- Bringing it up more, he entertained it a bit more, but other reasons would always pop up after, trying to understand you let it go after every talk. As the gang settled into Shady Bell slowly, you noticed that he became even worse; he barely came to bed, but when he did stumble in, smelling of booze, giving you a slurred "I love you" before snoring away.

- Not waiting for his final say any longer, you slowly packed your things over the days, making sure both of your horses were ready to go in the night. Thankfully, you met a couple who knew of a cabin not too far away at a cheap price. Saving up quickly, you bought the cabin, leaving it to wait for you. Taking note of when the watch shifts change and when the camp dies down for the night.

- Finally, you made your move. As Hosea stumbled into being his familiar drunk self, you went into action, calling his horse over by the back door quietly loading on what little you had left. Then, waking Hosea leading him to the horse with false words, finally, you were ready with Hosea in a drunken sleep on your back, fleeing into the dark swamp.

Riding through the night, keeping Hosea on the horse, with luck, you made it through the swamp and into the forest on your way to the cabin. Not knowing how long this would last not even sure if this was a new life. "Just enough for you to rest," you whispered into the cold night air.

Making it to the cabin, using all your strength to get him in the cabin, laying him on the bed, tucking him. Going back out, taking your things from his and your horses, then letting them rest in the small stable for the next few days.

Waking into the morning still hearing Hosea's snores with his warm arms around you. Slowly, you get up, readying his medicine, hoping he'll understand your actions. Being all for him in the end.

-

John Marston

- Having entertained the idea only came up two times. The first was for one of Hosea's cons, having you and John play as a married couple that lived on a farm just for another couple who actually lived on a farm to come along to buy into Hosea's con.

- As years went on, seeing how the gang dwindled, thankful for not taking your John, but not without a scare and a promise to stay with you. Getting out of the snow, helping John to Horseshoe Overlook, fighting to keep him down, and resting. John made a joke about you being his spouse and having a little farm. That was the second time.

- John wasn't the only one with that joke; being protective over him, Hosea started to joke about how the con act ended long ago, but you were still acting the part.

- Finally, John was ready for jobs again, so you loosened your protection, though you weren't afraid to give it to Dutch if he came back with so much as a small scratch. Furthering that joke in the camp led you two to talk. John agreed to the possibility, but it was different in his mind. You saw it coming sooner than him.

- Sadly, it wasn't until the very end you could live out that idea. The gang fell apart, pushing you both towards Strawberry, but not without making a rule for yourself. Never to live that life again. It was easier said than done. John helped the framer, and you fled, leaving your John behind.

Reading the letter over again as the carriage hit every bump on the road, making your impatience worse. Finally stopping, not wanting to look out the window, needing to see him up close, you hurried out.

Standing there face-to-face with your John, having been gone for so many months, your eyes stinging as you wrapped your arms tightly around him. "It's over," he whispered into your ear, making the threatening tears spill, tightening your hold, not wanting to let him go again.

-

Josiah Trelawny

- Living that dream already in Saint Denis, but unbeknownst to you, Josiah had dealings with a gang. Hearing the name of the gang from officers around town yet not thinking anything of them. Not even questioning his absence at home as his "office work" makes him travel a lot.

- Loving the stories of his travels made you susceptible to listening for things, but never did you think you'd hear about your husband from an officer's mouth on the street. Then the next day, another questioned you on your doorstep, being very hostile and pushing past you just to find nothing, but before leaving, accusing you of dealing with the "Van Der Linde Gang.".

- Hearing nothing from your Josiah in the few passing days got you worried—maybe you didn't know the man you married. Though finally, you saw him as he crawled up the stairs of your Saint Denis home, the sight brought you to tears.

- The damage to him was heartbreaking. He groaned and hissed through his teeth as you cleaned up his bloody wounds, then bandaged them up. Saying nothing, you let the silence fall with his story quickly following, but you didn't let him finish.

- Saying the name of the gang, seeing how his face turned pale. Telling him of what transpired days before, hit you hard speaking of what you knew out loud to him. Starting with a sigh, he told you everything with a voice filled with shame.

"Stop," you said, interrupting his explanation, doing as you said, looking to you. Not being able to handle the sight of him knowing every cut or possible broken bone was because of his deals with the gang. You started to question whether the life you built was even real; was the love you got from him even real?

"Love," he pleaded, placing a hand on yours looking into the eyes you fell in love with so many times. Still, you held your ground. "No more J," you say, making him look down watching as he nodded. Slowly, you wrapped your arms around his upper back and shoulders, hugging him as he sat in your home, where he belonged.

Hello, I hope you enjoyed if there is any grammar mistakes or misspellings sorry about that feel free to let me know in the comments, have a great day/afternoon/night!

[evasive-anon]

Jason was having a pretty OK time with the league of assassins, sure getting dunked in a lazarus pit sucked and Bruce turned out to be a scumbag who didn't care about him, but at least he isn't dead. He even liked most of the new skills he was learning there so on the whole being with the league seemed like a pretty good deal to him until Talia woke him up in the middle of the night and left him alone with two child assassins.

Or, a demon twins AU where when Talia realizes her father intends to have her boys fight to the death takes action first by deciding to take all her kids and leave the league. Talia either dies or is separated from them in the initial escape and now Jason just has a bag of supplies and a letter from Talia explaining the plan to get to Gotham. Jason has to get himself and two 7 year olds out of the Himalayas, across a desert, and over 12k miles to Gotham. Only now the league members hunting them down want them dead or worse and Jason isn't too confident that B will accept them given their kill counts.

Featuring:

Good Mom Talia. she loves her kids. Did she teach them to kill? Sure, but that's an important life skill.

Single Teen Mom Jason. He's the oldest and in charge but he also will not answer any questions about The Plan™ given he isn't committed to Talia's but also doesn't have a set alternative. Oscillates between looking forward to just dumping his new little brothers with Bruce so they'll be his problem and thinking of just moving somewhere random in the US and keeping them based entirely on how cute vs annoying they are at that time. Didn't realize how much he relied on Talia to help him with things until she is gone. He's really trying his best but he wasn't all that emotionally stable before this so hang in there.

Angry Smol Dami. He's still drinking the LoS punch and really dislikes that he is now considered a traitor. Can't stand that Jason won't answer any of his very relevant questions. Is actually very scared but will not show it. Misses his mom. Didn't even know he had siblings until his mom yoinked him out of bed that night and brought him to Jason and Danny and started all this. Physically the stronger twin. Thinks Danny is dragging them down in fights and also may blame him a bit because clearly his mother only did all this to spare him.

Danny, reincarnated with limited access to his memories and powers. Has been trying to keep his powers a secret. Talia knew about them but never told anyone but she may have hinted at it in her letter to Jason. Not the strongest physically but very good at stealth and social interactions. Didn't know he had and older brother or twin before Jason woke him up at Talia's instruction that night. Thinks Damian is mean and has faith Jason knows what he's doing even if that is very much untrue.

[iliveforyouilongforyouvesuvia]

Full headcanons for when MC regains all of their missing memories please 🙏🏽🙏🏽

The Arcana HCs: When MC regains their memories

Julian

It's one thing to discover, with someone who also didn't remember at the time, that he had essentially forgotten about you when you needed his help most. It's another to remember it

The early stages you spent still working with him, still sending him communications, still hoping he'd stop to connect long enough to notice your condition and do his job as a doctor and your friend

You don't know which hurts worse, that, or the later stages you spent weak and dying and alone, hoping against hope that he'd notice you were gone and come to help you through the last of it

The way his face falls in regret and pain when you finally tell him what those days were like is a closure you didn't know you needed

As much as it hurts both of you to address, the fact that Julian feels like you can forgive him while knowing the full extent of what he's done gives him an even stronger faith in your relationship

He's also excellently suited to helping you unpack it all - he's been through the same thing himself, having missing memories change how he lives, and then getting them all back at once. He gets it

So excited to learn all about your past self from you

Asra

If this ultimately makes you a happier, healthier person, they are both delighted for you and hugely relieved that it happened

One of his many fears after bringing you back was that he wouldn't be able to give you a life worth having. Your lack of memories definitely contributed to that, and seeing you recover is wonderful

Of course it's not all sunshine and rainbows. As soon as you've reached a point where you can talk about it, they're asking you for your forgiveness all over again and for your side of the story

He left you where he knew it was dangerous, and he failed to stay with you because he chose his fear over his love. He didn't even leave you a way to call for him when you needed him

At the same time, it's their unfailing presence with you now that helps you overcome the disjointedness of it all. They've grown and matured, but your current and old memories alike feature them

So when you're ready to reminisce, to start talking about your old antics and embarrassing mistakes and weird habits, the same best friend who saw it all then will remember it with you now

Only now, there's no walls, fears, or secrets left between you

Nadia

Your memories are back? Tell her everything

Seriously, everything. It's been so fulfilling for her to have someone to trust and allow into her heart and mind and space, and she's often regretted that you can't do the same to that capacity

She does struggle early on not to feel guilty when you mention things like Vesuvia's failing economy or the ravages of the Red Plague, but she's quick to keep the focus on you

Soaks up all the little details and anecdotes you share with her

You remember your childhood favorite food? She's having it served at tea, to see if it tastes the way you remember it

You mentioned a song you remember a parent or family member singing? She's boosting the local music scene with a big prize for whoever can find and learn to play/sing it to you

Really, really wants to visit all the places you have your core memories in. Taking you to Prakra gave her a closure and bond with you that she really wants you to enjoy as well

It goes without saying, but she has an open invitation to anyone you want to reconnect with to visit or stay at the Palace

Muriel

He's happy ... for you. He knows how deeply formative memories and history are, and it's only right for you to have your roots back

He's also the closest to terrified and insecure he's been in a long time, and that's because if you remember a time before the end of the Plague, you remember the time when he was the Scourge

He doesn't care for secrets. He's never hidden who he was from you. He knows you saw his old self and that it hasn't changed how you love him. But it's different when it's your memories, not his

What if you visited the Coliseum without him knowing?

What if you took a seat and experienced the disappointment and revulsion of seeing your best friend's oldest friend, maybe even someone you were fairly close with as well, turn into a killer?

But if you could look at his memories and still commit to loving him, he can and will do the exact same for you

Gives you space when you need it and sticks by your side when you need it, always ready to lend an ear when you want to share

Happy to go on a trip with you if it'll let you reconnect with lost family and roots. You did the same for him, after all!

Portia

Oh she's not worried at all. She knows you two have got this

Whatever there is in your history that she may have an issue with, she knows you two can talk about it and she knows who you are now is not who you used to be. No serious concerns there

That aside, you can finally live with (roughly) the same amounts of memories she has! This is great! You should write them down!

Not the best at giving you space if you want to process alone, but so empathetic with the whole adjustment that it's almost impossible to feel misunderstood. She's got your back

Even with the tricky relational stuff. Her older brother and Asra, especially. She knows you knew them when things were bad, and she's ready to mediate any hard conversations you need to have

And she'll give you all the emotional support you need after

Almost scarily dedicated to helping you track down and reconnect with people from your past. (Given how she spent three years hunting down her brother, it's not hugely surprising ...)

So confident and settled in your relationship that it makes sorting through the memories easier. You're still each other's fresh start

Lucio

He's happy for you! He really is! He promises! (all said with both hands in the air, a strained smile, and a bead of sweat rolling down the side of his face while the dogs look unimpressed)

Okay so maybe he's a little scared

He knows you've talked about it. Hell, you walked with him through the landscape of his memories and failings and somehow managed to hold love for him as he went

But if you can actually remember, now, what he did ... who he used to be ... what you suffered because of him both directly and indirectly, and yes, the horrific death you can remember now too

He knows he's changed and his faith in you is boundless but his faith in who he used to be is nonexistent, for good reason

Almost makes you lose your temper pestering you for how you really feel and tripping over his feet to prove himself after

Once you've told him that nothing about your relationship is under threat, he becomes an amazing partner to help you unpack

He gets it. What it's like to relive visceral memories, for the past to feel so disjointed. He gets it, and he's got you

[theoutcastrogue]

[From a 2014 article by John Darnielle of the Mountain Goats. He's talking about how a random spam email ended up inspiring a part of his book Wolf in White Van. Later, in 2020, the album Getting Into Knives came out, and I think it inspired its artwork too.]

"It took years for me to be able to just reflexively delete spam, or filter it so that I never see it at all. I blame the spammers for this; the quality of their work took a sharp nosedive at some point. But during whatever period of the internet’s growth you’d call the early 2000s, it seemed like you’d still get some winners: things that had been typed up by a person, sent out to a bunch of email addresses they’d bought or rented for 5 or 10 bucks from the only guy who was ever going to make any money in this particular exchange. Most of them went directly, if manually, into the trash; but once in a while, there’d be one that seemed to earn, at the very least, the minute it’d take me to read it.

The one I’m remembering here was subject-lined SUPPLY OF KNIVES. [...] The subject line opened on an all-caps email that boasted, in ornate, antiquated English appealing to the reader’s more refined sensibilities, about the high quality of the knives on offer at an external website. You shouldn’t click on links in spam email. I live my life on the razor’s edge! I clicked the link.

I want to tell you about these knives: They were beautiful. They were weird. They had elaborate designs in the handles, moons or stars of wolf heads, and special grips, and a variety of points. They were made from metals whose pedigrees were described lovingly, and had been struck — smithed? wrought? — via processes I knew absolutely nothing about, but that sounded fantastic, difficult, arcane. It’s the joy of specialized language: When you’re an outsider to it, it can’t help but sound cool.

Of course this is the whole idea of any operation like this. SUPPLY OF KNIVES could well have been, and probably was, a company in Ohio who’d stumbled across an old warehouse full of knives, and knew enough about sales to describe these things in the most exotic terms they could find. I’m pretty immune to pitches: Who likes to feel like he’s being pitched? But somebody involved with SUPPLY OF KNIVES had had just enough authorial flair — that, or true faith — to caption each knife’s mysterious, blurry accompanying JPEG with a description whose constant recourse to specialized vocabularies seemed to say, “You’re not even reading this unless you already know about this sort of thing. Let us therefore speak like the fellow travelers we are.”

It was like a trade catalog for roadside bandits in need of knives.

I can’t speak for everybody, but I know that when I was a child the life of the roadside bandit seemed like a pretty romantic way to go. I looked at all these knives and read the descriptions and was just generally delighted about the whole thing, so I saved the email in a “memorable spam” folder I used to keep that had maybe two other emails in it. A few years later, Apple came out with this robotic-arm-screen iMac you never see any more, and we were long overdue for a new computer so we got that; and then, after a while, I got myself a laptop, because I was traveling all the time, and eventually both the old iMacs ended up in the basement, and they were both asleep but alive until fairly recently, as far as I knew.

But when I went to check for the email, it was gone. The old blue iMac is dead, bricked, lifeless. Searches on the term “supply of knives” on this laptop and on good old robot-arm-screen find nothing. The backup CD for the blue iMac drive is probably in a drawer around here somewhere, but that’s like saying, “The coin I had in my swim trunks’ pocket is probably somewhere in the ocean.” There is no SUPPLY OF KNIVES. There’s only the memory."

[source]

And this is the wonderful cover art of Getting Into Knives. Back cover and promo material below. Note that "Knives International" and "Knives Wordwide" are not real companies, they appear to be a callback to that elusive spam email.

[nakedbibi333]

𝐀 𝐒𝐢𝐦𝐩𝐥𝐞 𝐆𝐮𝐢𝐝𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐋𝐚𝐰 𝐨𝐟 𝐀𝐬𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐩𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧

I have made lots of guides and posts about the law of assumption and its aspects in the past, however, I have noticed that beginners on the topic have been finding most explanations confusing. I’ve known about the law of assumption for years now and manifestation in general for even longer, so I often forget how it feels to be a complete beginner to the topic. So here I will be explaining the most common topics and how to actually manifest your dream life.

𝐆𝐥𝐨𝐬𝐬𝐚𝐫𝐲 𝐨𝐟 𝐂𝐨𝐦𝐦𝐨𝐧 𝐭𝐨𝐩𝐢𝐜𝐬

𝐀𝐬𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐩𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 — beliefs that you have, which have little or no physical evidence to back them up.

𝐈𝐧𝐧𝐞𝐫 𝐌𝐚𝐧 — the spiritual you that is the source of your consciousness.

𝐎𝐮𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐌𝐚𝐧 — the person you are externally in the 3D (physical) world.

𝟑𝐃 — the physical outer reality. It is only a reflection of your internal reality.

𝟒𝐃 — your internal reality, known as your consciousness, or your imagination.

𝐒𝐩𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐟𝐢𝐜 𝐏𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐨𝐧 (”𝐒𝐏”) — the specific person who you are trying to manifest some sort of relationship with. It can be platonic or romantic, but it most often refers to a desire for a romantic relationship.

𝐒𝐭𝐚𝐭𝐞 (𝐨𝐟 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐜𝐢𝐨𝐮𝐬𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐬) — It’s a state of mind. It’s a state that you assume by being (or feeling as though you are) the person who has what you already desire.

𝐒𝐞𝐥𝐟-𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐩𝐭— the beliefs, or conception, you have about yourself and your abilities.

𝐑𝐞𝐯𝐢𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧 — revision is just manifestation but for the past. You revise—or fix to your liking—a memory in order to manifest that outcome to have occurred instead.

𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐖𝐢𝐬𝐡 𝐅𝐮𝐥𝐟𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐞𝐝 — the state of the wish fulfilled is the state of mind you would assume if you already had what you desire. You are in the wish fulfilled because you no longer are in a state of desire or lack, and therefore you no longer worry, doubt, or desire.

𝐏𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞 / 𝐁𝐫𝐚𝐳𝐞𝐧 𝐈𝐦𝐩𝐮𝐝𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞 — to persist is to not give up. It is a reminder to remain faithful to your manifestation, even if it seems as if something has gone wrong, the opposite has manifested, someone else got what you wanted, or it’s taking “a long time” to manifest. To persist, you remain faithful, keep believing, return to the state of the wish fulfilled, and don’t give up until you get exactly what you wanted.

𝐄𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐢𝐬 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐩𝐮𝐬𝐡𝐞𝐝 𝐨𝐮𝐭 (“𝐄𝐈𝐘𝐏𝐎”) — It is the idea that everyone around you will always reflect your internal beliefs (and your self-concept) back towards you. If you believe you are talented and successful, people will reflect that to you through their words and actions. The same will happen if you had negative beliefs about yourself. This is why it’s so important to work on your self-concept.

𝐃𝐞𝐬𝐢𝐫𝐞𝐝 𝐁𝐨𝐝𝐲 (”𝐃𝐁”) — the body you are trying to manifest (when you are manifesting personal physical changes).

𝐃𝐞𝐬𝐢𝐫𝐞𝐝 𝐅𝐚𝐜𝐞 (”𝐃𝐅”) — the face you are trying to manifest (when you are manifesting personal physical changes). Can often be based on someone else, such as a celebrity or influencer.

𝐖𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐢𝐬 𝐦𝐚𝐧𝐢𝐟𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧?

First, I want to talk about what exactly manifestation is. A lot of people who first get into manifestation believe that it’s some sort of magic or outward thing that requires you to take x amount of steps to be worthy of something external from you to make this happen. This isn’t true. Manifestation is your natural ability to shift your consciousness to the reality that matches your assumptions and state. Shifting is easy and natural. You shift every time you make a decision, no matter how small. You do not notice your shifts because they are so minimal that the realities you shift to are nearly identical to the previous one, except for the small detail you changed. You are the source of your manifestations, not anything external. Your inner man (the spiritual you that is the root of your consciousness) is the source of your manifestation abilities. Every single person has the ability to manifest, and no one is better at manifesting than anyone else. Some people just know how to manifest and use it to their advantage. I’m here to teach you how.

Manifestation is most often referred to in relation to getting things, such as getting rich, getting your dream home, getting healthy, getting that dream job, or even getting the person you love to love you back. However, at its core, manifestation is about being the person who has everything you want. It’s about fulfilling all your desires internally and allowing that to be the source from which you see the world around you. If you want to manifest love, your goal is to become the person who is loved. You do this internally. You never need to take any action. You don’t have to say affirmations, write scripts, do spells, or even go out and take any kind of action toward your goals. All that is necessary is for you to go inward and allow your inner man to be fulfilled with everything you desire.

𝐇𝐨𝐰-𝐓𝐨

Now, I’m sure a lot of you are expecting a very detailed step-by-step guide to manifest. However, as I’m sure a lot of you know (if you are already familiar with the law of assumption), manifestation is a very personal journey and everyone has their own beliefs and preferred methods to manifest their desires. The most important aspect of manifestation, which should be the basis from which everyone builds upon their own personal journey and methods is belief.

The only thing you need to do in order to manifest anything is to believe. You need to believe that what you desire is yours and that it’s possible for you to obtain or achieve it. Once you believe, then you are able to get into the state of the wish fulfilled, in which you feel as though your manifestation is already yours. The point is not to feel delusional or to trick yourself, but to use your imagination to experience your manifestation internally. Fulfilling your desire internally is the cause that allows your desire to be made manifest in the physical external reality.

To truly feel fulfilled, you will not be worried about how it will come, or how you will deal with it when it is yours. I know it’s hard not to think about it or ruminate on it, but by focusing on the what-ifs you are contradicting the state of it already being done. If it was already yours, you wouldn’t be wondering what if, because you would already be experiencing it. You would already know what would happen because you’ve already experienced it. Relax into the wish fulfilled and keep the faith that everything will happen in the best way possible for you. If you feel this way even for a moment and then distract yourself from the topic, then you will have made a significant difference in your state and manifested wonderful things.

𝐃𝐨𝐧’𝐭 𝐥𝐞𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝟑𝐃 𝐚𝐟𝐟𝐞𝐜𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐭𝐞.

So, you were able to achieve your desired state, but now you’ve returned your attention to the physical world and found countless contradictions to your manifestation. This is a common issue when you first start to consciously be aware of the states you occupy. It’s not only about reaching the state but also about persisting in the desired state against all odds.

I have gotten so many questions where people mention reaching their desired state, but then something undesirable happens in their 3D and everything begins to go wrong. This is because they allowed the 3D undesirable circumstance to determine their state. They allowed the negative feelings around the circumstance to decide the state they occupied and it persisted throughout the day, which is the reason why more and more negative things continued to show up in their 3D. This is normal. Every single person allows the 3D to influence their state because the 3D seems more real than the 4D. However, consciousness is the only reality, the 4D shapes the 3D, so in reality, imagination is more real than the 3D. You are simply only ever reacting to a reflection. The most important thing to do in this kind of situation is to return to the state of the wish fulfilled. Deny anything you see in the 3D that does not completely align with your desired state. By denying it and focusing only on your wish fulfilled, you will be able to persist in your desired state and avoid the cycle of the 3D controlling your state.

I hope you realize by now that the reason your undesirable circumstances persist is that you allow your 3D to continually determine your state. It’s a constant cycle of allowing what you see to be the ultimate truth, rather than allowing your imagination to take the reigns and bring about desired change in your life. This is why it’s so important to be aware of your state and focus on not letting the 3D world determine your state. You should only ever allow imagination and the 4D to affect your state. If you find yourself slipping, return to the desired state and then persist. Deny the undesirable and persist in the desirable.

𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐢𝐦𝐩𝐨𝐫𝐭𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞

As long as you keep persisting, you are going to succeed. It doesn’t matter how long it takes, as long as you continue to persist, it will come. In my opinion, I’d rather get it later than never. Think about that. You have to be able to stare someone in the face calling you crazy and know internally that they are wrong. You need to be the master of your reality. As long as you believe in your desires, then everything will fall into place. No one else can tell you anything about your own reality. It’s your choice to believe what others say about you. And remember, if you change your conception of self, others will always reflect that back to you.

𝐑𝐞𝐦𝐞𝐦𝐛𝐞𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐦𝐚𝐧𝐢𝐟𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐢𝐬 𝐚 𝐣𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐧𝐞𝐲

The law of assumption is a very personal journey. A lot of the time it’s about trial and error. I want you to know that there is no failure in manifestation. There are only learning opportunities. You never miss a chance to manifest something. You can always revise and you can always return to a manifestation. When you realize that your internal reality and your imagination are the sources of everything you experience in your physical reality, things seem less dire. You will realize that you have all the time in the world, and also all the power over your life and your earthly experience.

𝐅𝐀𝐐

𝐖𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐜𝐚𝐧 𝐈 𝐦𝐚𝐧𝐢𝐟𝐞𝐬𝐭?

Anything you desire can be manifested, even things that seem impossible can be manifested. In fact, everything you desire should be fulfilled within imagination at the point of desire, so that you can break out of the endless cycle of desire with no satisfaction. The rule of thumb is: if you can imagine it, it can be made manifest in the physical world.

𝐃𝐨 𝐈 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐩 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐦𝐲 𝐝𝐞𝐬𝐢𝐫𝐞?

If you already had your desire, would you constantly be in a state of desire or lack? No, you would be enjoying already having your manifestation. You wouldn’t be worried about anything because it’s already yours. However, it’s normal and natural to feel this way. We are not asking you to never feel desire, that’s never the point. The point is to always make it a habit to fulfill your desires as they come up. As long as you keep returning to the state of already having your desire, then you’re doing well. Don’t get worried or stressed over not being in the state 24/7. It’s not important. We are not perfect beings and our minds wander and we lose track sometimes. What’s important is that we keep going back to the wish fulfilled and persisting.

𝐖𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐢𝐟 𝐈 𝐝𝐨𝐮𝐛𝐭?

Doubt is normal. Everyone has to deal with doubts, especially when first starting out on their manifestation journeys. Just remember that it's always okay to have doubts. Everyone doubts at some point. I focus on building belief and finding constructive ways to deal with my doubt when I encounter this roadblock. This could be saying an affirmation, such as "it's already mine, so I don't need to doubt" or "I experienced it, therefore it's already mine." You could also distract yourself from the topic and return to it when you feel better or use emotional regulation techniques to relax your mind and return to the state of the wish fulfilled (such as any form of meditation). Doubting is a part of being human!

𝐖𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐢𝐟 𝐈 𝐬𝐩𝐢𝐫𝐚𝐥?

You need to give yourself space and time. Manifestation should never be stressful, it should be freeing. If you feel as though it’s taking too much of a toll on your life, you should take a break and return to the topic once you feel better. When you return, I strongly encourage you to figure out exactly why you spiraled. Was it difficult for you to believe? Were you focused too much on 3D manifestation? Were you placing too much weight on your physical circumstances? It’s important to do this so you know what it is you need to do differently this time around.

𝐃𝐨 𝐈 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐛𝐞 𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐲 𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐦𝐚𝐧𝐢𝐟𝐞𝐬𝐭?

No! It’s entirely a misconception that you must always be happy to manifest. Being in the state of the wish fulfilled is achieving the feeling of being the person that has what you desire. That doesn’t mean you need to feel an emotion. Think about how it feels that you have your phone, the shirt on your back, or the pencil in your backpack. You just know it’s yours. That’s not an emotion, right? It’s a feeling. So, you can be sad, angry, depressed, anxious, etc. and still be in the wish fulfilled.

𝐃𝐨 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐫𝐮𝐬𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐬 𝐦𝐚𝐧𝐢𝐟𝐞𝐬𝐭?

No, intrusive thoughts never manifest. Think about this, assumptions are things you believe. There is an intention behind your beliefs, but intrusive thoughts are not based on your true beliefs, intentions, or desires. They’re just thoughts. Your thoughts are not what manifests, contrary to popular belief. Your state creates your thoughts which is why people consider their thoughts to be the source of their success, but it’s not. So don’t worry about your intrusive thoughts manifesting, because they won’t.

𝐈 𝐜𝐚𝐧 𝐦𝐚𝐧𝐢𝐟𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐬𝐦𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬, 𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐛𝐢𝐠 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐝𝐢𝐟𝐟𝐢𝐜𝐮𝐥𝐭 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐦𝐞.

Most people have this obstacle to overcome. It seems so simple to manifest a few dollars, a free coffee, or even a new phone. But when it comes to manifesting things like romantic partners (especially a celebrity SP), wealth, fame, physical changes, or even moving out of difficult circumstances, it seems impossible. Not to mention the fact that your successes seem so small in comparison to your deeper desires. What you should do in this case is work on your self-concept along with your beliefs about manifestation in general. Basically, remove your desires from the pedestal. When we say to remove your desires from the pedestal, we mean to stop giving them so much weight. Stop making your desires so difficult for you to achieve. Stop thinking of your SP as difficult to get. Stop thinking of money as anything other than a number on a website, or paper. Focus on de-mystifying your desires, so you can make them smaller than you. Remember that you are god and god can have anything. You are god living a human experience. Your purpose is to create a life that is fulfilling to you. Your desires are your roadmap for what you must create with your infinite imagination. Make yourself bigger than your desires, so that you always feel good enough for them, no matter how “big” they are. That is the way to circumvent this issue.

𝐇𝐨𝐰 𝐭𝐨 𝐠𝐞𝐭 𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐯𝐢𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐦 𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐚𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐲, 𝐛𝐞𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐢𝐧𝐬𝐞𝐜𝐮𝐫𝐞, 𝐨𝐫 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐟𝐞𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐠𝐨𝐨𝐝 𝐞𝐧𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐦𝐲 𝐦𝐚𝐧𝐢𝐟𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧?

When stuck in the victim mentality or insecurity loop, it really makes you realize how important working on your self-concept and self-love is. Build up the belief that you are the god of your reality. Since that is true, no one is above you, and nothing is too good for you. You are the only one that can manifest in your reality. Nothing can happen in your reality without you allowing it to happen. Your beliefs about yourself and your reality are what determine your reality and your experience. Nothing anyone else can tell you will have any weight unless you allow them to. You are good enough to be a millionaire, you are good enough to be a K-pop idol, you are good enough to date your celebrity crush, and you are good enough to be a famous actress or singer. You are good enough. Because you are the only power in your reality. You make the decisions.

𝐖𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐦𝐨𝐧 𝐦𝐢𝐬𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐩𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬, 𝐢𝐧 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐨𝐩𝐢𝐧𝐢𝐨𝐧?

First, your thoughts don’t manifest. People often like to say that your thoughts determine your experience, but that’s not technically the truth. Your state and your assumptions determine your physical world. Plus, it’s the state that you most often dwell in that is the most influential on your physical experience. Wouldn’t you rather not be afraid of your thoughts? Wouldn’t you rather not be constantly worried that a distressing, negative, or intrusive thought will manifest? Well, you’re in luck because those small fleeting thoughts are not the source, it’s the state that is behind those thoughts.

Then, methods don’t matter. You are the only source and reason for your manifestations, it doesn’t matter what method you use, or if you even use a method at all. Your state, your assumptions, your consciousness, and your infinite imagination are the true sources of your manifestations. Also, so many people think that using states is a method. It’s not. Maybe they believe this because consciously changing your state requires a certain amount of self-awareness and effort, but it’s not a method. You are constant in a state. You cannot be devoid of a state unless you are dead.

You can “just believe.” Let me explain. I’ve seen so many people overcomplicate the law to the point that I am not even sure some people truly understand the law enough to be teaching it to beginners. Why are we focusing so much on methods that take hours out of our days? Why are we focused on methods at all? Everyone forgets that the only thing you need to manifest anything is the belief that it’s yours. Nothing else is necessary, because once you believe that it’s yours, you are in the state of the wish fulfilled. Simply persist in that belief, no matter what you see in the 3D, and you will receive it. So many people complain that they can’t “just believe” that their desires are theirs. Well, how are you perfectly able to “just believe” in negative outcomes, but never in the positive ones? There is little evidence for the truth of your negative assumptions, and the same for the positive ones, so why not choose to believe in something that will benefit you instead?

And finally, you are the only person that can give yourself the life of your dreams. You are the master of your thoughts, your assumptions, and your imagination. We can give you all the information in the world on how to manifest your dreams, but if you do not apply them, then nothing will ever happen. Stop putting it off for later, stop procrastinating, and stop standing in your own way. If you let go and allow yourself to believe (assume and persist), then you will change your life to an unimaginable degree and you’ll wonder why you ever waited so long to make this happen.

𝐌𝐲 𝐝𝐞𝐬𝐢𝐫𝐞 𝐡𝐚𝐬𝐧'𝐭 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐲𝐞𝐭. 𝐖𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐚𝐦 𝐈 𝐝𝐨𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐰𝐫𝐨𝐧𝐠?

I have mentioned this before, but these are the most common shortfalls I have observed throughout my many years of manifesting.

Lack of conviction—I actually had a dream about this issue a while ago and it really opened my eyes to the importance of conviction when it comes to manifesting. First, the definition of conviction is a firmly held belief or opinion. I found that when I am manifesting, and I’m less decisive or clear about a desire I want to manifest, then it either will only partially manifest, or it won’t manifest at all. In my dream, I recognized that I kept changing my mind, doubting, and not firmly choosing this desire to manifest, so I only got a half-manifestation. I can't remember the dream that clearly now because it’s been a long time, but I remember waking up knowing deeply that if I had true conviction for my desire, it would have manifested clearly. The next night, I had another dream where I had a real conviction for my desire and it came in its full capacity, showing me that I only needed conviction in order to manifest the “big” desires that had been stumping me for a long time.

Lack of a clear decision—This goes along with the previous explanation, but when I lack a clear decision for what I want, I often find that the manifestation is shaky and it’s harder for me to retain conviction for a desire I’m not entirely sure about.

Avoidance (constantly saying "I'll do it later")—This is now referred to as deferred occupancy, but constantly procrastinating and leaving applying or occupying the state of the wish fulfilled for later will always keep your desires from you. Neville Goddard has said, “nearness implies separation.” If you are not occupying your desired state now, you are constantly separated from your manifestations.

Doing a method "to make something happen," rather than entering the state of already having it—Once again, this applies to the “nearness implies separation” quote. If you are doing something so that something will happen in the future, then you are once again separated from your desires. Your only goal is to make your desires real in the here and now. Not in the future, not later, now.

Lack of faith that anything is possible with the law of assumption—Some people have limiting beliefs that only certain things are possible to manifest, and others aren’t. Such as thinking that you can manifest a romantic relationship with someone you know, but draw the line at manifesting a romantic relationship with a celebrity. It’s all possible. Nothing is harder to manifest that anything. It’s all the same. Change these beliefs so that you can create a life with all your desires, not just your “realistic” ones.

Neglecting imagination (no mental diet/not working on self-concept)—While self-concept is not necessary to manifest anything, it’s definitely a huge help. It’s so important to be aware of your self-concept and I would always recommend working on it because it makes manifesting so much easier. You will believe in yourself and your abilities much more, it will be easier to persist, and you will never ever limit yourself.

Not letting go of the idea that I need to work or struggle in order to get what I want—Finally, some people really love to cling to the belief that you have to take some sort of action in order to manifest their desires. This is not true. You never have to do anything other than believe that your desire is yours. Everything else will fall into place for you. So, stop creating more limitations and obstacles by believing that you have to take action in order to manifest what you want. Just assume the state of your wish fulfilled and persist.

𝐅𝐮𝐫𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐜𝐞𝐬

Finally, I always love to recommend these two resources for the law of assumption, because they are the reason I am where I am today. These are the two resources I will defend day in day out. So, if you are looking for more information or more in-depth explanations for specific topics, please check out Edward Art’s YouTube channel (or his Reddit posts) and Neville Goddard’s lectures and books.

© nakedbibi333 (2023) I don’t give consent to anyone to post my content anywhere!

[literaila]

*mischievous laugh* mueheheh

hypothetically, what if reader dies? 😈 what will poor megumi and tsumiki do now? what would gojo do too? ����

um… hello??? what is wrong with—

okay, so let’s start off with the simplest reaction. megumi is out for vengeance.

it’s clear that he’s got a bit of a… sadistic nature to him (undefined by whatever morals normal people have, yeah whatever). but why is he strong if not to protect the world from evil things? why does he have power if he’s not supposed to use it?

so, you being a jujutsu sorcerer, it’s likely that you died fighting a curse. if that’s the case, megumi is hunting that curse down and eliminating it in an instant. and then he keeps going. he’s going to kill every curse he can find, because you shouldn’t have died.

if anyone doesn’t deserve to die, it’s you.

and while megumi can hear your words in his head, telling him to protect others, to take care of people, to stay with his family… if you’re gone, what does it matter?

megumi will live in his anger. he doesn’t need depression or acceptance. what he needs is you, and if he can’t have you anymore…

and then there’s tsumiki. she wouldn’t feel angry, like megumi, but lost.

it’s obvious that she believes there’s a sort of destiny within the world. she thinks that all bad things happen so that the good things, the truly good things, can come next. she believes that you have to feel pain to feel pleasure. she trusts this idea.

before you die, tsumiki isn’t afraid of anything.

but after you die, she loses her purpose. her ideals, her faith in the world.

she goes from the trusting little girl who would believe satoru if he told her that he was really a robot with a human heart inside of him, from the girl who took everything at face value, believed that all people should protect each other, help each other—

she goes from your little girl to something entirely different.

what’s the point of this? she wonders. if her mom had to die to bring her to you and satoru, she understands. if she and megumi had to take care of themselves for a year—living in some apartment that didn’t have running water—just to find a real family, then it was worth it.

but what’s worth it if you’re dead? what’s the point to losing another mom, another person that tsumiki was supposed to help take care of?

she can’t do anything, though. she’s always been the most powerless of her family members. and after you die, she’s not your little girl anymore.

she’s just lost.

and, of course, satoru.

i think he shares the same grief that both megumi and tsumiki feel—anger, denial—but he’s older than them. he loves you differently than they ever could.

there was a time when satoru had pushed you away just to get back to that place where he was nothing but strong. where his feelings had no bearing in his power, where emotions didn’t matter as long as he was the honored one.

but, really, if it takes you dying to get back to that place—then satoru never wants to be strong again.

when suguru died, satoru was committed to carrying out his plans. to protecting sorcerers from a world forged against them. he wanted to train a generation of sorcerers who didn’t have to worry about dying with regrets, who could take care of themselves along with all of the non-sorcerers in the world.

to eradicate cursed energy, in whatever capacity.

but when you die, satoru loses all that purpose. why should he care about the world when he no longer has to protect you from it?

why should he care at all?

so, just like after riko died, satoru is back to being nothing but a vessel for power. he doesn’t care who he kills, what he kills, as long as it has some meaning, some pointless purpose that doesn’t matter to him.

but, it only takes one memory of you to snap him out of it. he can almost feel you clawing at his chest, your voice begging him to take care of them.

so, eventually, satoru finds his way home. he’s got two other people to protect.

and he’ll be damned if anything happens to them.

[honeymoonblues]

Gossip & Giggles

Professor Remus Lupin x Professor!GN!Reader

Summary: You've gone away for the day, and Remus feels like everybody is acting strange. (Gender neutral reader)

Word count: 724

A/N: Fluffy little thing. Is implicated that the reader and Remus are in an established relationship. Please, let me know if there are any spelling errors, English is not my first language.

“I give him 10 minutes at most.”

“I’d say at least until he walks through the door of the first class.”

“Have a little faith! I think he won’t go five minutes without noticing.”

A few professors were clustered in the entrance of the great hall, murmuring to each other. Remus thought that was a bit odd, but didn’t question it much, it was far too early, and his hunger was stronger than his curiosity at the moment. 

When his coworkers felt his stare, they quieted down, which was even more curious. Were they talking about him? Lupin wondered. But the hot tea in his cup was much more enticing than whatever they might have going on.

His gaze was fixed at a random point of his table, his mind lost in the haze of the cold morning and the memory of you saying goodbye. 

It was much, much earlier when your owl had woken up both of you by clawing at your bedroom window. It carried bad news for you. Thankfully, nothing tragic had happened, but the letter received demanded your immediate attention. That’s how, before the sun was out, you left the castle, not before hugging and kissing Remus goodbye, of course.

Breakfast passed without giving professor Lupin much time to raise his spirits, so he walked to his first class with his mind still elsewhere. 

The students were lively, in total disregard of the early hour or the freezing weather, as expected from the second-years. When he called for their attention, however, they fell silent ridiculously fast and started to whisper to each other in a way that reminded Remus of the professors in the great hall this morning. The nervous tic in his eye started acting up, he sighed and tried to make his student’s concentrate on the class once again. 

Overall, it was an all-right lesson, even outstanding considering Remus was fighting his neck pain, five hours of sleep, and the constant gossiping the students seemed to have going on through whispers and notes for the whole two hours. 

Stretching and comforting himself, Lupin thought “the second years always have some drama to murmur about anyway”. But his next class with the fourth-years was somehow worse! 

This particular group of hufflepuffs and ravenclaws was usually quiet, so much that he had to beg them to participate. But this morning, they seemed to not be able to hold their tongues, or keep their giggles at bay. 

“What’s going on with you today!” Even Remus had to chuckle at the unusual circumstance. 

In spite of that, he took advantage of the energy in the class, and used it to make an impromptu dueling class, which would have been impossible with these students any other day.

Sitting down for five minutes between lessons, he scratched his head, in an almost meditative state. Why was everyone acting strange? Is he missing something? 

While making sure he had a matching pair of shoes, and had not magically changed his pants for a multi-coloured kilt somehow, the seventh-years entered his classroom.

The older the students, the more tired they usually are, so this class went along ordinarily. They did seem to be smiling more, and Remus thought he heard one of them call him ‘cute’, but what were the odds? 

As the hours passed, Remus felt more worn out than other days, so every little bizarre experience in class or after it, he ended up attributing to his own tiredness-induced-paranoia. 

To his heart’s content, you were back to the castle just in time for dinner. With all these odd happenings, he felt like you were gone a week rather than just a few hours, but here you were, finally. 

The silly grin he had on his face when he saw you, rapidly faltered when he noticed how you giggled at the sight of him. Merlin, you too?

Blinking slowly, he felt your arms wrapping around him.

“Hello.” his voice was muffled against your shoulder.  “I missed you.”

“I can tell, darling.” Moving away from him, you looked into his eyes and took his face delicately in your hands. “Is that why you decided to leave my lipstick mark on your cheek for today?”

Then, he laughed heartily in realization, while you wiped his face to get rid of the remnants of your morning goodbye kiss.

(i hope no one minded the concept of the reader wearing lipstick, considering it's a gender neutral reader, but i think makeup is pretty genderless! even us they/thems have to wear lipstick once in a while!)

[winterlynightlystories]

Still worth fighting for? Part 1

Tw; mention of murder, Geto’s racism, future poly relationship angst.

Please do not copy/steal my work

Geto Suguru/Male Reader and past Satosugu

Future Geto Suguru/Male Reader/ Gojo Satoru

Summary; As you are remembering how you and Suguru ended up together, his ex-boyfriend shows up at your place. The presence of Satoru doesn't seem to be appreciated by anyone in your little familly. Yet, there isn't other choice, since Satoru is there for a mission. But his presence awake old memories… old feelings.

Note; not proofread! And yes… I'm starting yet again a new series, but I couldn't resist writing about this dynamic and how the story would have gone if Suguru hadn't become a cult leader/Curse User. But don't worry, I am not forgetting the rest of my stories!

~~~~~~~~

You woke up with sweet kisses all over your face. You chuckled, feeling Suguru’s long hair tickling your bare chest and neck. Slowly opening your eyes, you were greeted with the sight of your tired boyfriend. Dark circles under his eyes and skin sickly pale, you could see the effect of the sleepless nights Suguru went through. You gently passed a hand in his hair, pulling him closer so you could kiss him.

- “Good morning gorgeous.” you said, feeling Suguru melting in your arms and smiling against your lips.

- “I don't think I look that gorgeous right now.” He mumbled, making you laugh.

- “Nonsense, you'll always be the sexiest man in my eyes.”

He laughed, pushing you away as you kissed his neck, putting your hands under his white shirt. Suguru’s skin was warm… too warm.

- “How are you feeling? I'm sorry I've been neglecting you and the girls. You shouldn't be the only one taking care of them. You'll end up as sick.”

- “It's okay, I'm fine. The girls haven't gotten back their voices, but their fever is almost gone. They finally fell asleep.” Suguru replied, laying down next to you, resting his head on your chest. “You have been busy with work, I can't hold it against you.”

- “Still, you need to rest as well. I'll call sick so you can enjoy a good hot shower and some sleep.”

- “No, you don't have…”

- “It wasn't a proposition, I'm going to do it.”

Suguru sighed, yet you still could feel his tired smile against your skin. You kissed his forehead, hating how sweaty and warm it was. Nanako and Mimiko had caught a terrible flu at school. The poor things were coughing so harshly that they were throwing up and losing their voices. The fever went so high one day that Suguru had to take them to the hospital. You remembered the fear and panic you felt when Suguru called you. His voice filled with worries had broken your heart. Thankfully, you were able to leave and join him.

Playing with Suguru’s hair, you remembered how all of this started. It was at school when you both were only seventeen. It was soon after the death of that poor girl, Riko. How her terrible faith had broken Suguru and, besides you, no one seemed to notice it. Not even Suguru’s then-boyfriend, Gojo Satoru.

Suguru and you grew closer as you became his only support, keeping his head out of the water as much as you could. You often went on the same mission, because you asked for it, feeling like Suguru could break anytime. It was during one of your missions that you saved the girls. You still could remember how Suguru almost snapped. The coldness in his eyes, the murderous aura around him. It had taken everything for you to calm him down. You basically kidnapped Nanako and Mimiko, but in the end were able to keep them.

Well, Suguru did, while you lost everything. You took all the blame, trying to protect him.

It was always obvious that you loved Suguru. You were often mocked by Gojo and teased about how Suguru was his. How, even with his six eyes, did Satoru never realize you also liked him? That was a mystery that would never be solved.

So it was a surprise when Suguru abandoned the school, and everything before he left Gojo to follow you. It wasn't long until you found a place to call home far from Tokyo, almost on the other side of the country… then you started a romantic relationship.

Suguru stayed mostly at home, taking care of the girls and teaching them everything about their world. About becoming Sorcerers. You noticed how your man had a bad tendency to call Non-Sorcerers ‘monkeys’, but in the end, you understood him.

So while Suguru took care of the twins, you went to school and became a police officer, but quickly was promoted to detective. It was a job that cost you a lot of time. Being called days and nights, sometimes not even coming home for a day or two.

Just like now.

You were on the strangest case you ever saw. An ungodly amount of blood had been found in a back alley, enough to assume the victim had died from blood loss. Yet, there was a report of sighting. But the witnesses all said the same; the man wasn't acting normally and he had a new large scar and stitches all around his head.

It didn't make sense.

So, when corpses began the pile-up you contacted the Tokyo Metropolitan Curse Technical College, knowing damn well you were dealing with Curses. Something had taken control of a dead body and you preferred letting them deal with that weirdness.

You were supposed to meet with the Sorcerer affiliated to the case today, but seeing how Suguru and the girls were, you preferred calling sick. You'll meet later at night or tomorrow, it wasn't urgent after all.

A knocking at the bedroom door had both you and Suguru sighing. You kissed him on the forehead before slowly getting up.

- “Go take a shower and then rest. I'll take care of the girls.” you said as Suguru closed his eyes and nodded.

You found Nanako standing behind the door, her eyes red and puffy. Her hair was soaked with sweat and she was slightly shaking. Without a word, you scooped her up with an arm, putting your other hand on her forehead.

She was burning.

- “Okay. Let's do another round of pills and syrups, okay? I'm going to take care of you, Suguru is resting.”

She said nothing, after all, she still couldn't talk. Instead, she wrapped her arms around your shoulders and rested her head against your neck. You almost flinched, feeling just how burning her skin was. You cursed mentally, thinking about taking her immediately to the urgences. But you couldn't leave Suguru and her sister behind. You would wait and if really the fever wasn't going down, then…

You carried Nanako back into her bed, grabbing the medicine on your way. You gave it to her after helping her to bed. You didn't leave the room until she was fast asleep and made sure her sister was alright too.

You hated seeing the Twins so sick, but there was nothing you could do but wait until it passed. It was, after all, the first time they were so bad. Normally they would have the flu for a few days then it would go away.

You sighed as you got out of Nanako and Mimiko’s bedroom. You hoped that Suguru wouldn't get as sick as them.

You could hear the shower which made you smile, wanting nothing else than to join your boyfriend under it and take care of him. But, you had a few calls to make. A single look at the clock told you all you needed; your boss wasn't going to be at the police station before at least one more hour. So you called your partner.

- “Oi, mate! Why are you calling so early?” the voice of your old partner and friend asked, as he chewed on something. “Is everything alright?”

- “No. Haru, I'm afraid the girls aren't doing better and Suguru definitely caught the same thing. He's already having a light fever.” You sighed, putting the kettle on the oven. “I won't be able to make it to the post today. Can you pass the word to the captain?”

- “Of course! I hope you don't need to go to the hospital again?”

- “I don't know. Nanako was burning hot and passed out after I gave her her medicine. If her fever doesn't drop I won't have the choice.”

- “Shit! Keep me informed. I’ll ask Inko to drop you some soup. My wife’s cooking is the best when sick! You'll see, your girls are going to be better in no time.”

- “Thanks. Can I ask you to take care of our Sorcerer friend? Just give him the big lines, I'll meet with them tonight or tomorrow to give him the rest of the case.”

- “Yes, yes! I will. Do you know who they are going to send?”

- “Nan. Probably a first or second grade, this isn't something big enough to require one of their best elements. Probably some trashy Curse trapped inside a corpse or something like that.”

Haru was one of the rare persons around you who had Cursed Energy and could see curses. But the poor fellow was mediocre at best when it came to any kind of fighting style and he knew it. So he never even tried to become a sorcerer. Instead, he married his wife when they were freshly out of school. They both knew your and Suguru’s history and had always been a comforting presence in your lives ever since. They always loved to keep the girls from time to time, giving you and Suguru some alone time.

So you felt relieved knowing Inko would be coming around during the day. She would be such a great help to take care of your sick family.

After hanging up, you poured yourself a hot cup of tea before sitting at the table, trying to relax your nerves. In the silence of the apartment, you heard Suguru turning off the shower. Your boyfriend was probably drying himself before going to bed. You want nothing more than to go back to bed and cuddle him, but it is your turn to stay up and take care of the house.

So you did. You washed the dishes and cleaned the living room, grabbing the girls’ stuff they had left around. Mostly school things. You found Nanako’s pull under the sofa, somehow and Mimiko’s socks under the TV. You sighed, throwing them in the washing machine before starting the laundry.

You took the time to make sure the girls were fine. You found them sharing the same bed, unable to tell which limb belonged to whom. You smiled, touching their forehead. They weren't as warm as earlier. You pulled a thin blanket on them before leaving their room.

You found Geto sleeping curled up in the mess of the blanket and discarded clothes. He had a pale grey shirt and his boxer, but nothing else. His shirt was slightly pulled up, revealing his flat stomach and ribs. He had, again, lost some weight.

You heard your phone ringing, but you ignored it, deciding to lie down behind Suguru. You gently wrapped an arm around him, pressing your body against him. You felt his body relax as if he recognized your presence even in his sleep. You closed your eyes, nose buried deep in his damp hair.

You needed to call work and take a longer leave, at least until your little family was back on its feet. And you needed to take Suguru on a date and spoil him after he did so much. Maybe you needed to think about leaving your job for a less demanding one. Suguru and the girls needed you too after all and you hated missing on special occasions.

Before you knew it, you were fast asleep.

You woke up feeling Suguru moving, grunting you tried to keep him in bed with you.

- “Someone is knocking at the door.” he said with a tired voice and you sighed.

- “Stay in bed, it might be Inko. She is supposed to come give us a hand and some soup. Maybe she forgot her key.”

You got up, leaving Suguru in bed.

But as you approached the door, you knew it wasn't your friend. The shadow at the window was way to tall and that hair… You stopped in your tracks, refusing to believe it. But the figure knocked again and you had no choice but to open the door.

And there he stood.

Gojo fucking Satoru.

Somehow the man got taller, but he was still the same. Instead of his round sunglasses, a black blindfold covered his Six Eyes. A smudge grin painted his lips. He chuckled, seeing your shocked expression.

- “What? You haven't gotten a call from your partner?” he asked, leaning against the doorframe.

- “No, I didn't pick up. I was focused on tacking care of my sick family. Anyway, what are you doing here?”

- “Ouch. No ‘Happy to see you!’ or ‘It's been so long, but you still look good Satoru!’?”

- “Yes, yes, but it's not what I mean. Why are they sending you for something so banal? Anyway, come in. Tea?”

You got out of the way, letting the man enter. You closed the door behind him and, as you went to the kitchen, saw him freeze at the entrance of the living room. Gojo must have seen the picture of your family.

You poured two cups of tea before joining Gojo. You found him sitting in the sofa and staring at the wall where you had hung many pictures of you, Suguru and the girls. You couldn't tell which one Satoru was staring at. The one from last year at the beach? Maybe the one of you kissing Suguru outside as the snow fell around. Or the one where your boyfriend sat at the table, helping the girls with their homework? Either way, you could see how tight Gojo's jaw was closed. You almost feared his teeth would crack under the pressure.

- “Here. So, why you?” you asked, giving him the tea before sitting in the armchair facing him.

- “Because it's not the first time a situation like this one happened. We think it might be a Curse User.” He said, not even moving his head. You could tell he wanted to ask question, but didn't press him.

- “Really? I haven't heard of anything similar around here.”

- “Not here, in Tokyo.”

- “Ah…. Yes, we don't really look at the news from there.” you mumbled, sipping at your own tea.

The silence was loud and heavy.

You two were supposed to be talking about the case, but you just couldn't talk. You had this mass in your throat making it difficult to swallow your tea or even your saliva. A part of you had, ironically, missed Satoru. Even if the man had been a dick all the time you were at school, you still had good memories. Because he still gave you a hand when you needed it.

And you stole his boyfriend.

Which was making you the bigger asshole in the room.

- “What the fuck is he doing here?” Asked Suguru, making you jump and drop your tea on you. Suguru came to you, hearing you curse. “Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you.”

- “It's okay, don't worry.” You replied, letting Suguru take your empty cup. “Satoru is here for the case. Apparently, it's not the first time it has happened.”

- “And you believe him?” He asked, grabbing your phone as he sat on your lap. He had put on your pair of jogging.

- “Su’ what are you doing?”

- “Making sure he isn't lying”

You sighed, wrapping one arm around Suguru's waist while caressing his knee with the other. You gave an apologetic look at Satoru, mouthing a ‘Sorry, he is sick.’ while Suguru talked to whoever was on the other side. Poor Gojo was so tense he seemed frozen in place and you felt bad for him. The man didn't ask to be here, didn't ask to witness you loving on his ex. You knew that Gojo definitely still had feelings for Suguru. How could he not? Everyone knew just how in love they used to be.

You sighed, watching Suguru throw your phone on his own lap, grinding his teeth.

- “True?”

- “Yeah. They did send him.” he sighed, giving Satoru the side eye.

- “I’m sorry. Want me to go…” you tried to talk, but Suguru signalled you to shut up.

- “No. It's okay, but I’m staying with you.”

- “Babe, I need my suitcase.” you pointed out, but without a word, Suguru got up and left.

You sighed and passed a hand on your face, knowing damn well this was going to be one hell of a case.

- “I see he is still angry at me.” Satoru said, voice so low you almost didn't hear it.

- “Honestly I don't know. I don't even know what happened between you two. Suguru doesn't like talking about it, so we don't.” you replied, looking at him.

- “We fought… about you.” Gojo admitted, looking away.

- “About me?”

- “Yeah. About how I acted toward you, especially after your expulsion. Suguru left me, pointing out how you were the only one who had noticed how he was truly feeling after… after Riko. Well, that and more.”

You were silent, not knowing what to say. They had broken up, over you? Suguru had defended you, even before you were an item?

You felt your heart swollen with love for Suguru. He was such a strong and kind soul. You loved him even more, if that was possible.

You smiled, almost stupidly, as Suguru came back into the living room, throwing your suitcase at Satoru before sitting back on your lap.

- “Come on. Quite at talking about that day, why don't you repeat what you told me?” Suguru asked, his voice filled with so much venom you almost didn't recognize it. “Are you doing it or should I?”

- “I…”

- “You told me, and I quote “Well, if he is such a great and good man, why don't you leave me for him? Clearly, he would be a way better boyfriend than me!” that's what you told me, right? And yes, he is a way better boyfriend than you ever were.”

You gasped, looking back and forth between the two men. Gods, you really were behind their break up!

You wrapped your arm tightly around Suguru, pulling him closer to you. You took his hand in yours, kissing his fingers. You hated seeing him like that. Angry, hurt and uncomfortable in your own house. You wanted to leave and go somewhere else, so Suguru wouldn't have to face Satoru, but it was clear your boyfriend wasn't going to leave the two of you alone.

This situation was more than awkward and uncomfortable.

The silence that followed Suguru's statement was heavy. Terribly heavy. But, surprisingly, it was Satoru who broke it.

- “I'm sorry. I was cruel and neither of you deserved it. Especially you, Suguru. And I'm not looking for forgiveness, because I know I don't deserve it. I don't want revenge either, I'm just happy you got to build a family and be happy.” He sighed, looking away. “But we have a job to do and a Curse User to catch.”

Against you, you felt Suguru slowly relax. Had he been afraid that Satoru came to try and conquer him again? Or hurt you? You kissed Suguru’s fingers again and he gave you a weak smile. The dark circles under his eyes seemed worse, but his eyes had found back their softness. You mouthed an “I love you” while Satoru was opening your suitcase and pulled out all the documents and photos you had about the case.

You also relax, thinking that maybe working with Satoru wasn't going to be so hard finally.

No.

The hard part was going to try and forget how your heart still missed a beat when you felt his eyes looking at you. Or how Suguru refused to meet Gojo’s gaze.

Yes.

The hard part would be to act as if there were no more feelings when, obviously, they were still there. Intact and waiting.

[with-my-murder-flute]

Cristabel and the proverbial sandwich

(Spoilers for Harrow and Nona the Ninth)

I have not known inner peace since I saw someone say, "But come on, does anyone ACTUALLY buy John's story about how the nun died?"

Because honestly, I'd just kind of gone, "Super random, very weird interaction, boy there sure are cult mindworms at play here," and moved on to the next page.

But as soon as I saw that question asked, the amount I did not buy that story hit me like a load of bricks, to the point I'm kind of amazed that I ever did believe it.

Two people. A locked door. A nuclear standoff. A close-range head injury.

On one side, a full-fledged Catholic nun—well done, that’s the classic—who's best friends with a staunchly atheist world-class scientist and believes, if we're to believe John, that Jesus's problem is that he didn't stick to office hours.

On the other, a woman described as, "A total delight. Effervescent. Kind to animals and children. A master of the sword. Did not have the intellect you’d ordinarily find in a sandwich or an orange, and was a sickening twerp into the bargain."

Oh, and in the middle, there's also a necromancer who wants to bring back his friends... minus any little details about things he they might have done wrong. He "knows where memory lives in the brain", and they "won't have any of it." And "guys as careful as me don't make mistakes," but then again, all that means is that if he kills someone, he did it on purpose.

C— talks her way into a locked room with John, who's on the phone threatening some world leaders with a nuke, expresses care and concern for him, and then... decides he needs more data on the soul? And kills herself to provide that for him?

I'll be honest, I just don't believe that John was an ordinary guy, totally normal, could be any of us, and he just got put in a really stressful situation and made some bad choices but who HASN'T done things they aren't proud of??? I reject that point of view completely. Like, Elon Musk in any given interaction probably is really stressed out and unhappy and having trouble responding in a way that's at all well-considered or emotionally mature, but that doesn't mean that Musk isn't also, at baseline, a deeply stupid, petty, immature, grandiose, entitled, egocentric person. No matter what situation you put him in, he's going to keep on being those things.

I think that John's initial idea was to put the entire human population of Earth, minus some necessary staff, into some giant cryonic freezers, and give the Earth some amount of time to rest and recover from the effects of human-caused pollution. A plan about which I will confess some hesitation myself; being told "just lie down in this coffin, bro, you'll only be a little dead, I'll totally bring you back to life* in a couple centuries (*98% effective!) " does not fill me with an enthusiasm to hop on board.

And then his project got cut. And he decided, "Well, if they won't agree, I can just make them agree." After all, all that end game needs is 10 billion frozen corpses hanging out in those tin cans, and a small team of staff left to keep the place running. How it gets there is something he can afford to be flexible about. If people won't climb in on their own, he can put them there.

So when C— or the nun tell him to stop focusing on revenge, to bend all his energies to saving the world, I think he thinks: Well, I am. He's gonna wash the earth clean at the end of this! He just needs to be able to set the dominoes in motion. He just needs to engineer a situation that will justify taking his nuke out of the vault and making the pieces fall.

A situation that would be sabotaged, ruined, if anyone made a true deep sincere good-faith effort to talk him out of Plan Nuke and called the legitimacy of this crisis into any sort of question. He needs to prevent that from happening.

Actually. Also. He needs one more thing than that.

He needs an excuse to use the nuke, but also, he's finishing his homework at the very last minute. He still hasn't mastered the soul. He does need a few more test subjects.

Maybe he let her in and thought: Two birds with one stone, eh?

[strqyr]

this is ruby's happy memory, the first one she thinks of. tai looks happy, yang especially looks happy—there's nothing "off" about them, which stands out because it's a drawing. it would have been so very easy to give tai dark circles under his eyes, a beard that hasn't been trimmed in a while, a hair longer and more unkempt than it normally is, as all this takes place after summer's disappearance.

but they didn't. he looks fine, no different from the team photo to the present day.

the only thing that stands out are the sunflowers he so takes care of. they look overgrown, less flowers than there will be, no neat flower bed raised from the ground to separate them from the rest of the lawn, yet not completely untended, for none of them are wilting.

manages well enough that he takes care of himself and his kids, goes to work to provide for his family, but his hobbies are left behind. prioritizing what is important, and managing the rest when he has the time and energy to do so, perhaps; and then, a sign of his healing when he cares for them once more.

assuming that is, that gardening was always tai's thing; it could have been summer's that he eventually picked up. the last rose of summer is about roses, yes, but it speaks of a garden, too, of the last rose whose leaves the speaker scatters over the bed where its brethren already lies, scentless and dead.

but sunflowers symbolize faith and devotion, positivity and hope. summer promised tai she'd be back soon, and the song treasure of the willingness to wait for a lifetime of their loved ones return... and so tai takes care of the sunflowers that may have been summer's once, to keep that hope alive, the faith he had in her when he replied to her promise with "i know."

he could have let them die like the roses, the memory and grief too powerful to even consider otherwise... but to do so would mean accepting, on some deeper level, that summer is gone, that she'll never come back to tend to her garden again.

and he's just too damn devoted to allow that.