#they are cinnamon girl and arsonist’s lullaby

[hcnnibal]

what would be a1 and a2’s theme songs?

i have playlists for both a1 and a2!!

but if i haaaaad to choose just one for each 💦💦💦

a1: (you’re the) devil in disguise- elvis

a2: joy- vnv nation

[disenchantedif]

Character Playlists; Elis

Tongues & Teeth by The Crane Wives

“I will ruin you; it's a habit, I can't help it”

The Garden by The Crane Wives

“When they come for us, they'll come with hammers and nails”

Blood//Water by grandson

“Now I am the violence, I am the sickness; won't accept your silence, beg me for forgiveness”

Arsonist’s Lullaby by Hozier

“But my peace has always depended on all the ashes in my wake”

Snakes by PVRIS, MIYAVI

“My friend karma's a bitch, she's got some lessons you'll learn 'em; now we're enemies”

Choke by IDKHBTFM

“Now shut your dirty mouth; if I could burn this town, I wouldn't hesitate”

Stop The World by Arctic Monkeys

“With the exception of you, I dislike everyone in the room”

Let Me Live / Let Me Die by Des Rocs

“Fear in the dark, all these thoughts have never stopped; meet my friend the lonesome”

I’ll Be Good by Jaymes Young

“I've been cold, I've been merciless; but the blood on my hands scares me to death”

Famous Last Words by MCR

“I see you lying next to me, with words I thought I'd never speak, awake and unafraid, asleep or dead”

Brother by Kodaline

“We'll be carrying each other until we say goodbye on our dying day”

Alien Blues by Vundabar

“I need to purge my urges, shame, shame, shame; I need an alibi to justify, somebody to blame”

Gilded Lily by Cults

“Haven't I given enough, given enough? Always the fool with the slowest heart”

Cinnamon Girl by Lana Del Rey

“There's things I wanna talk about, but better not to give; but if you hold me without hurting me, you'll be the first who ever did”

A Pearl by Mitski

“It's not that I don't want you, sorry, I can't take your touch; it's just that I fell in love with a war, nobody told me it ended”

[casualpersonapersonpeach]

Slashers - mini playlists

songs that remind me of the boys / associate with them (mini slasher playlists ) + them naming their playlist after themselves lol.

Daniel Robitaille

danny boy 😇

yes to heaven - lana del rey

sons & daughters - allman brown & liz lawrence

naked - ella mai

Michael Myers

mikie 🤕

she's my collar - gorillaz

first love/ late spring - mitski

spillways - ghost

Jason Voorhees

jay 💘

jealousy, jealousy - olivia rodrigo

in the woods somewhere - hozier

j's lullaby - delaney bailey

Thomas Hewitt

tommy ⛓️

shrike - hozier

dancing with the devil- demi lovato

nettie - type o negative

Brahms Heelshire:

Brahms 🧍

achilles come down - gang of youths

chasing pavements - adele

panic attacks in paradise - ashnikko

Bubba Sawyer

bubs 🐰

cinnamon girl- lana del rey

i feel pretty/ unpretty- TLC & glee versions

brick by boring brick - paramore

Lester Sinclair

lester 🐕

when the night is over - lord huron

nothing new - taylor swift & pheobe bridges

vermillion pt 2 - slipknot

Bo Sinclair

Bo 🚬

cowboy like me - Taylor Swift

wicked game - Chris Isaak

arsonist's lullaby - hozier

Vincent Sinclair

Vinnie 🌝

evergreen - yebba

life eternal - ghost

remembering sunday - all time low

Leslie Vernon

leslie 🐢

i bet on losing dogs - mitski

the ghost of you - my chemical romance

james dean & audrey hepburn - sleeping with sirens

Norman Bates

norman 🌟

fourth of july - sufjan stevens

lego house - ed sheeran

male fantasy - Billie eilish

[nightwingshero]

15 OC Associations

I was tagged by @deathvalleyqueen @strafethesesinners @spicevalleys​ and @pd3 Thank you, darlings!!!

Tagging: @tomexraider @risenlucifer @faithchel @kingmaking @ja-crispea @dieguzguz @xbaebsae @simonxriley @mackie-hattwie @goodboiboomer-fc5 @trialandseed @smithandrogers @fadedjacket @deputycolt and whoever else wants to give it a go!

Wren Blake

1.  ANIMALS: Ravens, Hawks, Owl, Snake, Bobcat, Koala

2. COLOURS: Black, Slate Navy Blue, Burgundy, Silver/Grey

3. MONTH: June and October

4. SONGS: 

Get Free - Lana Del Rey

DNA - Lia Marie Johnson

Take Me To Church - Hozier

You should be sad - Halsey

Nightmare - Halsey

I HATE EVERYBODY - Halsey

Mansion - NF

5. NUMBER: 3 and 24

6. DAY OR NIGHT: Night

7. PLANTS: Peonies and Chrysanthemums 

8. SMELLS: Apple, Vanilla, Jasmine

9. GEMSTONE: Moonstone, Onyx, Alexandrite, Blue Topaz

10. SEASON: Spring and Fall

11. PLACES: Falls End, the river, 

12. FOODS: burgers, fries, cheesecake, steak

13. ASTROLOGICAL SIGNS: Cancer

14. ELEMENTS: Water

15. DRINKS: Tea, Water, Wine, Bourbon

Randy Miller

1.  ANIMALS: Dogs, Eagle, Bull, Coyote

2. COLOURS: Red, Green, Black, Brown, Grey, Blue

3. MONTH: September

4. SONGS: 

LOST IN THE ECHO - Linkin Park

A Warrior’s Call - Volbeat

Afterlife - Avenged Sevenfold

The Hand That Feeds - Nine Inch Nails

Arsonist’s Lullaby - Hozier

Throne - Bring Me The Horizon

Audience of One - Rise Against

The Red - Chevelle 

5. NUMBER: 13

6. DAY OR NIGHT: Both

7. PLANTS: Violet, Pentas, Ivy

8. SMELLS: Sandalwood, Pine, Leather

9. GEMSTONE: Sapphire, Nephrite, Agate, Pyrite, Labradorite

10. SEASON: Summer and Fall 

11. PLACES: his cabin, The Ranch, Spread Eagle, Falls End

12. FOODS: Ribs, wings, fries, fruits

13. ASTROLOGICAL SIGNS: Taurus

14. ELEMENTS: Air 

15. DRINKS: Coffee, Beer, Tea

Jane Williams

1.  ANIMALS: Fox, boar, Cougar

2. COLOURS: Red, Blue, Tan, Grey, Black

3. MONTH: April

4. SONGS: 

Kill Your Heros - Awolnation 

Come Around  - Papa Roach

Fuck You - Lily Evans

Cherry Wine - Hozier

bad guy - Billie Eilish 

Girls Like Girls - Hayley Kiyoko

5. NUMBER: 7

6. DAY OR NIGHT: Night

7. PLANTS: Wild Roses, Tulips, Lavender, Lilacs

8. SMELLS: Gunpowder, Blood, Citrus, Spice, Cinnamon, Melon and Cucumber 

9. GEMSTONE: Emerald, Amber, Aquamarine, Tigers Eye, Jade

10. SEASON: Spring and Fall

11. PLACES: The Ranch, woods, fields, Camp

12. FOODS: Salad, nuts, BBQ, Pasta

13. ASTROLOGICAL SIGNS: Aries

14. ELEMENTS: Fire and Air

15. DRINKS: Coffee, Whiskey, Water

Rowan Palmer

1.  ANIMALS: Bear, Wolf, Stag, Owl

2. COLOURS: Black, Purple, Hunter’s Green, Silver, Gold

3. MONTH: July and December

4. SONGS: 

I Walk The Line - Halsey

Desolation Row - Bob Dylan

My Sacrifice - Creed

Zombie - The Cranberries

Patience - Guns N’ Roses

Black Hole Sun - Soundgarden

Black Sheep - Gin Wigmore

In The Woods Somewhere - Hozier

Hollow Moon (Bad Wolf) - Awolnation

5. NUMBER: 21

6. DAY OR NIGHT: Day

7. PLANTS: Lavender, Marigold, Sunflower

8. SMELLS: Maple, Campfire, Vanilla, Pumpkin Spice

9. GEMSTONE: Amber, Amethyst, Opal, Carnelian, Jasper, Smoky Quartz

10. SEASON: Summer and Winter

11. PLACES: Whitetails, Cabin, Ranger Station

12. FOODS: Jerky, Venison, biscuits and gravy, potatoes, breakfast food

13. ASTROLOGICAL SIGNS: Sagittarius 

14. ELEMENTS: Fire and Earth

15. DRINKS: Coffee, Moonshine, Juice, Water

Whitney Seed

1.  ANIMALS: Snake, Swan, Dove, Rabbit

2. COLOURS: Light Pink, White, Gold, Silver

3. MONTH: May and July

4. SONGS: 

Angel - Theory of a Deadman

Foreigner’s God - Hozier

Don’t Stop Believin’ - Journey

Dear God - Avenged Sevenfold

Him and I (with Halsey) - G-Eazy

5. NUMBER: 12

6. DAY OR NIGHT: Day

7. PLANTS: Lilies, White and Pink Roses, Azalea, Begonias

8. SMELLS: Honey, Honeysuckle, Cherry Blossom, Peach, Citrus

9. GEMSTONE: Tourmaline, Black Opal, Sapphires

10. SEASON: Spring and Summer

11. PLACES: her house, her studio, Church of Eden’s Gate

12. FOODS: Pies, Salad, Tofu, Sushi, Fish

13. ASTROLOGICAL SIGNS: Gemini

14. ELEMENTS: Air

15. DRINKS: Sweet Tea, Lemonade, Water, Smoothies, Tequila 

[sadbi-hours]

Day 28: a season in hell/ / a upcoming FSK dark au fanfic fanmix 

{all images and gifs aren’t mine! all credit goes to the owners and content makers! my ask is open if you want to know why i picked a certain for the bus trio. i hope you enjoy:)}

[“whose hearts must i break? what lies must i maintain? through whose blood am i to wade?”- arthur rimbaud] 

1.) ultraviolence (acapella) by lana del rey

{blessed with beauty and rage}

2.) arsonist’s lullaby by hozier 

{you soon find you have few choices/ i learned the voices died with me}

3.) pyre (son lux cover) by moan 

{we are wresting now from our own hands a future}

4.) me and the devil by soap & skin 

{me and the devil walking side by side}

[“a thousand dreams within me softly burn.”-  arthur rimbaud]

5.) liability by lorde 

{ The truth is I am a toy that people enjoy ‘til all of the tricks don’t work anymore and then they are bored of me}

6.) cinnamon girl by lana del rey 

{ if you hold me without hurting me you’ll be the first who ever did}

7.) smother (live on KEXP) by daughter 

{i’m sorry if I smothered you}

8.) you should see me in a crown by billie eilish 

{ tell me which one is worse/ living or dying first}

[”what is my nothingness to the stupor that awaits you?”- arthur rimbaud]

9.) wicked games by the weekend

{so tell me you love me even though you don’t love me}

10.) copycat by billie eilish 

{ you got your finger on the trigger, but your trigger finger’s mine}

11.) fuck it i love you by lana del rey

{It turns out everywhere you go, you take yourself, that’s not a lie}

12.) karma police by radiohead 

{it’s not enough/ i’ve given all I can}

[thecatwhosleepsin]

[Book Review] Sad Girls

Sad Girls by Lang Leav

Genres: Fiction, Young Adult, Contemporary

Date Published: May 30, 2017

Publisher: Andrews McMeel Publishing

Pages: 320

Rating: 2/5

Youth is wasted on the young.

I can’t say I had high expectations for this book.

Over the stretch of time that has lapsed between her last and latest publication, my senior writing peers have taken up the responsibility of removing Lang Leav from the immeasurably high pedestal in my heart. I fell in love with her first book, you see. Love and Misadventures became my holy grail in poetry when I read it when it was first published. Her points when it came to love and loss was so acute, she put stars in my eyes.

 after that, I bought more of her books as soon as they were published (despite the obvious hole it left in my wallet). The magic of her words slowly faded. I know where her words were coming from, but I’m not that sure if she was writing for herself now. That’s how I felt after Lullabies, Memories, and The Universe of Us but I brushed the thought the instant it came to mind and thought,

Nonsense. I’m reading too much into it. All writers struggle to write for themselves to justify the truth they know and want to impart.

But deep inside I still asked myself,

Is her poetry the only poetry I know?

And it was true, I never knew the classics. Name one famous dead poet and I wouldn’t even have a clue.

But let’s put aside the matter of my doubts regarding her credibility as a poet, let’s talk about her new book.

In the dying embers and blackened twigs of a ravaged forest, who could distinguish where the first spark was lit? Only the arsonist knows the exact location on which the first match was struck.

It is Audrey Field’s final weeks in school when she shatters the already precarious nature of her life and of everyone she knows with a single, repulsive lie. It leads to a dangerous chain of events -the death of her melancholic classmate Ana, the start of her breathless panic attacks, her best friend Candela throwing her life away, the spark of an ill-timed romance with Ana’s enigmatic boyfriend Rad, and the revelation of a deadly secret.

“I think it’s because we romanticize the past. We give it more than it deserves.”

Sad Girls revolves around writers, the mass effect of uttering a thoughtless lie, the value of friendships, the meaning of true love, freedom, finding one’s place in the world, heartbreaks, (wasting) second chances, dreams, uncovering false appearances and the significance of the truth -which brings me to my admission that I didn’t quite like this one.

Audrey is one of the biggest reasons. You could imagine my incredulity upon finding out what kind of horrible lie that caused, not only hers, but everyone’s lives to fall apart. INCEST. Between her classmate and her OWN father. No lie is more disgusting and I couldn’t believe she said it, so casually and I quote, earnestly to her best friends (one of which was Ana’s close friend), just for the heck of it and didn’t even bother to take it back right then and there. No sane person would ever do that, and I felt that the remorse and guilt that attacked her until the end of the novel wasn’t enough punishment for her ridiculous tongue.

There were handful of times where her words went far out of line. She also didn’t endeavor to completely mend her rocky relationship with her mother. She surreptitiously sneaked around her boyfriend’s back to hung out with the boyfriend of the sad girl whose demise was brought upon her revolting lie. She wasn’t the least honest about her obligated relationship with Duck to him, to everyone and to herself.

There were also a lot of loose ends to tie up. Like the ambiguity of Candela’s relationship with Ana.

Candela:

“I know what you’re implying about me and Ana, and do you know what? It’s none of your fucking business.”

Ana (about Rad):

I know he thinks he’s in love. But he has no idea what love is. Not yet anyway.

So, it’s safe to assume that Ana wasn’t really in love with Rad, and Candela saw her as more than a sister figure from the way she got into a bad crowd, resorted to drugs and became highly sensitive when anyone brought her up. Seeing how intense her grief is, affection for her deceased close friend is definitely possible since Candela’s first fling was also a female, and maybe, Ana also reciprocated her feelings since she had a picture of her in the locket she immensely treasured (enough to be used as a bookmark). Most likely Rad had suspected it, knew it wasn’t him in her locket all along and only looked inside for confirmation and to appease Audrey’s suggestion.

If Duck’s man periods level on extremes (pitiful Audrey putting up with every single one of it), he becomes downright terrifying in post breakups, especially when he’s drunk. He was blinded by love (obsession?) for Audrey, and it was almost touching until he raged in front of her window, his chivalry evaporated into thin air.

I wanted to see more of his character development from when Audrey broke up with him because no matter what, even when there were several moments where I adored his tenderness and sweetness, his lasting impression was a psycho (from his bipolar mood swings), even after he found a new girl and quoted to Audrey,

“Everything happens for a reason.”

Also, WAS I THE ONLY ONE WHO ABSOLUTELY ADORED GABE? I mean, he was the normal one out of all Audrey’s love interests. Optimistic and funny, he was a ball of sunshine and he deeply respected her boundaries as well, completely unassuming and only acting upon his feelings as long as Audrey allowed it. Bittersweetly, he chose to let her go, wishing for nothing but her happiness.

“I don’t think I can do the friend thing. Not with you.”

HE WAS SUCH A KEEPER. AUDREY, YOU IDIOT. YOU MISSED THE ROAD TRIP OF YOUR LIFE.

Rad, on the other hand, was your typical enigmatic hottie with heterochromatic eyes which only intensified the mystery that veiled around him. Witty and well-acquainted with the woes of a writer, he charmed his way to Audrey’s broken, guilt-ridden heart.

From the start, I was always skeptical about him. Initially, I thought that his refusal to talk about anything regarding Ana, his easygoing attitude and his desire to frequently spend time with Audrey were commonplace actions of one who was grieving the death of his love. I believed he was trying to move on from her by ignoring the fact, but it was so much more. He was trying to bury the guilt —through writing, finding someone new, ripping a suicide note from his girlfriend’s diary and keeping it, maybe to convince himself that she wanted the accident.

He was the most cowardly of all the characters in Sad Girls, I concluded. The only answer I could piece together from his inhumane decisions was that his mental health degraded during his relationship with suicidal Ana. It’s toxicity retained in himself and jumbled up the meaning of what’s right and wrong. I mean, after unintentionally killing your own lover and staging it as suicide, guilt was bound to eat you up and squeeze the truth from you. But his conscience didn’t work or maybe, it was long dead anyway. He had no decency, even continuing his life, pursuing his aspirations and a girl who was obviously taken. (She matched his standards —sad, lonely and broken.)

Though the book ended on a really disturbing note, I could say Audrey and Rad were perfect for each other, running away from the grave sins they had committed to start over a clean slate, neglecting their conscience, fulfilling their dreams like the past was just nothing and Audrey leaving her doting friends in the dark.

Two wolves bound to devour each other alive.

The liar and the killer. Bonnie and Clyde. Harley and Joker. Bring on the titles.

And before I come into a conclusion, let me express my rage: WHY DID MY CINNAMON ROLL FREDDY HAVE TO DIE? WHY DID SWEET SWEET LUCY HAVE TO BE MISERABLE? THEY’RE THE MOST DESERVING COUPLE WHEN IT COMES TO HAPPINESS, WHY BREAK THEM APART? The truth will come out eventually. No need to destroy the most lovable (and cheesiest) couple in the book.

Sheesh. My gut was right when it was feeling uneasy as I went through Lucy’s odd mini-speech:

“But he was my first real boyfriend. I don’t have anyone else to compare him with. What if he isn’t the love of my life and I’m just sticking with him because I’ve never known anything else?”

There you go, Lucy.

In Sad Girls, Lang Leav skirts through sensitive subjects with the aloofness and subtlety of a freight train. But I greatly appreciated her raw tribute to writers.

“But I don’t think all writers are sad. It’s the other way around —all sad people write. It’s a form of catharsis, a way of working through things that feel unresolved, like undoing a knot. People who are prone to sadness are more likely to pick up a pen.”

As a debut novel, it wasn't so much of an okay shot, but I would’ve loved it more if she imposed the writing style she uses when composing prose. Despondency, Dead Butterflies, Rogue Planets, The Professor and Three Questions were some of my favorites. Years back when I first read them, I believed I was given a glimpse of how she would write her novel in the near future and I was considerably excited. Now, it’s not that she disappointed me. It’s just that somehow I just knew it would come to this and it’s okay. I’m a patient girl. She will overcome herself, especially when everyone is given chances and has the right to use them (excluding Audrey and Rad though, unless if they did it the right way).

I am always rooting for my childhood favorite and I hope to see her considerably grow in the next years to come. Meanwhile, let me say:

My youth (and money) is wasted on this book.

This has been a quite long review, and I thank anyone who has spent time to read my thoughts!

And one last thing, Ana’s notion of love, though maybe solid truth to others, will continue to haunt me:

The truth is, everyone wants to believe they’re in love but no one really is. So to all the girls out there who are stuck between two minds about some stupid crush, I have news for you. If you have to wonder, if you have to question what you feel, then deep down you actually don’t give a shit. As for the rest of you who don’t get it, welcome to the club. If you know what it’s like to want someone so much you would kill for them. If you know what it’s like to feel someone so deep under your skin you would sacrifice everything to protect them —even if it screws up your own moral compass so you can’t see right from wrong. If you’re like me, then let me leave you with this: That’s what love is. Don’t let them tell you any different. Don’t tell yourself otherwise.