#they are both terrible at communicating

[becauseimanicequeen]

In Defense of Ji from To Be Continued

(Or “Let’s Look at Characters From a More Non-Binary Perspective”)

I’ve been thinking about writing a post like this since the 5th episode last week (but haven’t gotten around to it). But after reading a couple of comments with the general consensus that Ji’s actions were at the risk of becoming irredeemable, I felt like there was no time like the present. Better late than never, right? (This is a long one, so I’ll put most of it after a break with a TL;DR at the end.)

(Btw, that purple light between them is so well placed. They're clearly not communicating, symbolized by that line being drawn between them. And the purple, a mix of blue (trust and loyalty) and red (love and fate), symbolizes the mysterious and unresolved feelings they're both having (or are beginning to have) towards each other. )

The response to Ji and Achi that I’ve seen has been interesting. The little response I’ve seen (since I haven’t seen this series being talked about that much, or perhaps I’m just bad at searching for it) was utter annoyance with Achi the first few episodes until we were shown that Ji made Achi cry in the past and (mostly) everyone I’ve seen writing about this turned on Ji all of a sudden.

(It’s hilarious to see how easily viewers change their opinions. I mean that genuinely. Some of that is more entertaining than many QLs I’ve watched.)

My mindset isn’t that binary, though. (I don’t see things in either black or white because that’s too limiting for me.) That means that I’m neither for nor against either Achi or Ji. (I can definitely like one character more than another, but that doesn’t mean that character is “better” than any other. And in this particular case, I like Ji and Achi equally.) It just annoys me a bit when a character gets torn to shreds for an isolated scene or situation (akin to the whole Non vs Jin situation in DFF, which got waaaaay out of hand).

(Obviously, this is by no means a call for deep analysis of characters–essay style–every time anyone wants to say something about a character. But I do feel like taking an isolated situation out of context means that the meaning, however differently all of us interpret that meaning, gets lost.)

Based on what we’ve seen so far in To Be Continued, both Achi and Ji have made mistakes (in the past and present), they are both terrible at communicating, both are clearly confused and/or terrified of their feelings (especially towards each other), and it seems like no one wants to be the first to fess up. That’s the general situation of their relationship in the series so far.

A discussion on who’s at “fault” for Ji and Achi’s current situation based on what I just listed is pretty much unnecessary because they’re both equally responsible. However, since it’s so easy to play the blame game and spread it like wildfire on the internet just because there’s a character one doesn’t like or see eye to eye with, I thought it was a good idea to include it in this post anyway. Especially since my answer is based on my non-binary way of thinking. (Spoiler alert: it’s not either/or, it’s both/and.)

(I’m putting fault between quotation marks because I feel like its connotation is too negative when something like responsible would suit better. But since fault is often thrown around when playing the blame game, I’ll stick to that word.)

If we look at Ji and Achi’s actions (the ones we’ve seen so far), I feel like 3 moments stand out:

Achi pestering Ji in the first few episodes even though Ji said he wanted nothing to do with Achi. (Present)

Ji asked Achi to introduce him to Pear. (Past)

The mixed signals both of them are giving each other. (Past and present)

I’ve previously written a post about Achi choosing not to respect Ji’s boundaries (even when clearly stated), so I won’t go too deep into that. What I will mention here, however, is that it doesn’t matter how desperate Achi is in trying to keep Ji close. Breaking someone else’s boundaries is not okay. Whenever someone needs space, it should (ideally) be respected.

Achi is being way too pushy in the first couple of episodes, and he’s not even communicating why that is. I think he says once (or twice?) that he’s missed Ji all these 10 years they’ve been apart and that he wants to know how Ji's been, but that’s no excuse.

If you doubt that some space would make any difference, look at how Ji reacted during that whole montage of Ji finding those bags with food (or whatever it was) that Achi hung on his door in ep. 5. And those notes they write to each other when exchanging those bags is probably the best line of communication they’ve had since they got to know each other. That’s how much can change if a person’s boundaries are respected.

(Sure, you could argue that it was a result of Ji showing respect first when he thanked Achi for coming over with food in the scene before the montage. Sometimes you need to first give what you want to get, and that “thank you” to Achi might've made Achi realize he could back off without being terrified of losing Ji (or whatever his reason for being so persistent is).)

When it comes to my second point above (Ji asking Achi to introduce him to Pear), it’s very interwoven with the third point (the mixed signals both of them are giving).

In the whole montage of them going on that day trip and playing games and stuff in the past (ep. 3), you can clearly see that there are feelings involved from both of them (whatever that may be; friendship, fondness, curiosity, love, whatever). But every time Ji looked at Achi (especially when they were at one of those lookout points with a beautiful view), Achi turned away. I mean, if you look at that whole jacket scene, you can see that he literally steps back and avoids Ji’s gaze.

Ji doesn’t seem to mind though, it’s not like he’s surprised or worried about it. But it still doesn’t change the fact that Achi is giving him mixed signals. Achi is both hot (giving Ji his jacket when Ji’s cold) and cold (stepping away and avoiding Ji’s gaze when Ji is looking and smiling at him).

And then there’s the scene on the pier/jetty at the end of episode 4 (which is also from the past). This happens after Ji asked Achi to introduce him to Pear (which I still believe was very innocent at first because Ji seemed genuinely interested in her, and there’s nothing wrong with that).

On that pier/jetty, Ji is tentatively trying to figure out how Achi is feeling because he can sense the tension (at least that’s how I interpret it). Ji does so by first asking Achi if he has feelings for Pear (because that could be a logical explanation for the tension), but Achi says he doesn’t. That’s when Ji has this look on his face:

It’s like he’s trying to think of another reason for the tension, which I think is what leads to the moment when he says that Achi’s got pretty eyes, nose, and lips.

I feel like he’s being genuine here. At the same time as he’s trying to figure out what the tension is all about, he’s also giving Achi an opportunity to clear things up, to be honest with Ji, and for both of them to get closer.

Then Ji lays his head on Achi’s chest as if to listen to his heartbeat (perhaps listening for an answer rather than being told, because we already know that their m.o. isn’t communication).

Achi is swayed for a moment, but he still chooses to change the subject and ends up leaving the pier/jetty (once again giving Ji mixed signals, especially after looking at Ji with heart eyes only moments before).

Achi’s reaction is probably based on a fear of being rejected since he thinks that Ji is interested in Pear, so it makes sense. But, even though his actions make sense, he’s still choosing to participate in giving off mixed signals.

(I mean, if someone looked at me with hearts in their eyes and then avoided me like the plague when I wanted to get closer, I would ditch the bitch. But, this isn’t about me…)

What’s interesting (and something I think some viewers are forgetting) is that this scene from the past is mirrored in the scene in Ji’s bedroom earlier in the same episode (which is in the present). In the present, it’s Achi who says that he thinks Ji’s eyes, nose, and lips are pretty (confessing to Ji only when he thinks Ji is sleeping, which seems to be his m.o., btw).

But then he repeats it when Ji asks him what he said.

I feel like Achi is trying to bring back that moment from the past because he knows he missed an opportunity to be honest about his feelings at that moment on the pier/jetty. The difference is that this time it leads to them kissing (a kiss that should never have happened until they had cleared up their shit, btw, but who can stop these two confused, love-sick, adorable idiots? Well, the screenwriters can, but what would be the fun in that? I digress…).

This time, Ji is the one who breaks the moment. He knows just as well as Achi where those words came from. He remembers that moment on the pier/jetty in the past just as well as Achi. And I swear that he remembers the rejection too.

It’s possible those memories were too much for Ji. It’s also possible that he realized the kiss wasn’t a good idea (he has shown previously that he’s not okay with Achi just kissing him, like in ep. 2). And as we saw with the previous kiss, it takes Ji a moment or two before he realizes what happens an/or realizes the implications of what’s happening (it took him a moment before he pushed Achi away in ep. 2, and the same here in ep. 4 before he pulled back).

So, who’s at “fault” here? Who’s at “fault” for creating more tension (and hurt feelings) between them?

Is Achi at “fault” considering he brought up the past when mirroring that moment on the pier/jetty? Is he at “fault” considering he initiated the kiss in Ji's bedroom (he was the one who leaned forward first and the one who held onto Ji with both hands/arms)?

Is Ji at “fault” considering he rejected Achi? Is he at “fault” considering he told Achi to leave his bedroom after the kiss (clearly needing some space)?

And don’t come at me with the whole “but Ji hurt Achi’s feelings by hitting on Pear, not to mention taking her to the same movie that Achi took Ji to.”

First of all, was that a conscious choice of Ji’s? Possibly. Was this the best way to go about it? Debatable. But it should be said that Ji got interested in Pear before he started sensing the tension between him and Achi. It was all good feelings before that (and it could be that Ji didn’t think his relationship with Achi was beyond friendship, because delusion and confusion are every teenager’s middle names).

Secondly, on that same pier/jetty in that same scene in ep. 4, Ji mentions that he doesn’t like romantic movies, whereas Achi says that it might be because he’s never been in love. Is it then so far-fetched that he takes Pear to that same movie (which I assume is a romance) to test out if he sees the movie with new eyes now that he’s with Pear? Not really.

(Could he have chosen another romantic movie? Sure. Was there another romance playing at the time? I have no fucking idea because this is fiction and they didn’t tell us and we’re probably supposed to read between the lines that it was a romance and that Ji was influenced by Achi’s words and I’m totally getting off track here…)

Thirdly, and probably the most important point: Let’s not forget that there’s actually a possibility that Ji is bi (the same goes for Achi who had some sort of relationship with… what’s her name, Mona?).

I know it’s difficult in this generally binary-thinking world to understand there’s a possibility of something in the middle of black or white. You’re either gay or straight, right? Wrong! There’s such a thing as bi- and pansexuality. And since we’re living in such a binary-thinking world, it’s easy to be hella confused as bi- or pansexual.

(I won’t go into the bi-hate that viewers spew out in comments and reactions to QLs, especially when the lead roles are bi (and especially when they are together with or hook up with the opposite sex), but it’s so fucking annoying. I want to write a post about this one day, or reblog someone else's post who might’ve written about it better than I ever will, so if anyone knows a post on this, send it my way.)

If Ji is a bi character, can you blame him for being confused? If he’s not bi but is having his gay awakening, can you blame him for being confused?

Can you blame him for asking Achi to introduce him to Pear, especially since Achi has never expressed his romantic interest in Ji and Ji seems genuinely interested in Pear? Can you really blame Ji for trying to figure out what the fuck is going on with Achi when he notices the tension between them?

Can you really blame Ji for not being able to read between the lines (has anyone forgotten he’s a teenager?)?

And I’m not saying all this to say that it’s Achi’s “fault” either. He’s just as confused as Ji. And none of them are brave enough to take the first step to clear things up either.

Again, it’s both Ji and Achi’s “fault” that things are the way they are. They are both responsible for their situation.

There’s still much to be revealed in this series, so a lot of it is still up for speculation right now. Clearly, however, something happened that made them go their separate ways and be out of contact with each other for 10 years.

If I were to put my money on a bet, it would be that they split because of a misunderstanding on both their parts. What that misunderstanding is, though, remains to be seen.

(If I were to guess I think they hooked up, Ji was confused and needed some space to process, and Achi took it as a rejection and left the country (since we’ve seen that his mother lives in the US). But I'm probably wrong.)

Ji's actions, so far, are not irredeemable (he’s not even on the verge of being irredeemable). And if they were, Achi’s actions would be just as irredeemable.

It’s easy to play the blame game, especially in today’s world. It’s a lot more difficult to be open-minded. But the latter will always be more rewarding.

TL;DR: Both Achi and Ji have made mistakes, they are both terrible at communicating, and both are clearly confused and/or terrified of their feelings. No one is at “fault” for their current situation because they’re both responsible for it.

*stepping down from my soapbox*

[bitegore]

Zionists want you to conflate Judaism and Zionism. Zionists want you to believe that Judaism cannot exist without Zionism and that all Jews are Zionists. Zionism would have Jews believe that a Jewish state is the only way that they can be safe from antisemitism and will point to any instance of antisemitism as proof that Zionism is the solution- so Zionism wants gentiles to be antisemitic in their support of Palestine. They want you to conflate all Jews with Zionism and the state of Israel, and they want you to treat all Jews regardless of political affiliation as the face of Israel. Antizionist Jews exist, and incidences of antisemitism ostensibly acting against Zionism will not help dismantle the forces propping Zionism up.

Don't do their work for them.

[stressfulsloth]

Thinking about Disco Elysium and stars. Something about communal experience and simultaneous isolation, hope and idealism, fear and beauty and terror and burning. The inherent horror in the vast romantic starscape of the sky, the melancholy and loneliness inherent in the untold distance, a communal experience of something too enormous to fathom. Stars bear witness to humanity, to the millions of tiny people crawling on the face of Elysium. They watch the people, and the people watch back, and make up stories about the stars. Stars symbolise love, hope, something unreachable and unattainable.

The way that the light of the stars reaches every single being in Elysium, from human to phasmid, but no matter how far it reaches it is still a cold and distant glow, always on the verge of going out. A moral brilliance, a holy light to strive towards, something always at risk of burning out, but there's a dichotomy too. A duality between the stars as brutal unfeeling observers, moralists even, like the aerostatics flying overhead, tiny dying lights that watch impassively over every terrible thing in the world, and the flipside; stars as the burning kernels of hope, furious burning flames that parallel Harry and his golden-orange forest fire nature. Stars as the light of communism, the star-and-antlers. They're hope and dreams- a million years in the stars. Rockstars and superstars. The light of a brighter future (however short-term that future might be) coming towards them at the end of the tunnel. It makes me think of Sacred and Terrible Air and the light pollution in Vassa- ending light pollution as the world ends. "You may laugh at this, but in the evening, when the big world in the distance swells into a bloody maelstrom, families come out into the street in Vaasa and are insignificant together. Only distant explosions disturb the deep peace of the winter night, its flawless starry sky. Everyone watches, heads tilted back." The stars are a shared experience. Something that everyone watches, insignificant together, when there's nothing more that can be done. Light in the face of darkness, community in the face of inevitability. Togetherness. The stars are there in the church with the ravers. They're there watching Harry and Kim together. Insignificant together. In dark times, should the stars also go out?

[tyrianludaship]

you know, i really dislike how people have little or no empathy over minor pr0shippers and/or harass them because it's obvious they didn't exactly choose to be that. unrestricted internet access at a young age can lead to some really disturbing rabbit holes that the child or the parent - are none the wiser to.

i first got exposed to gore and h3ntai when i was 12 and 11 respectively, and during the time, this was celebrated and encouraged because that was the culture of the spaces i was in (mostly anime and true crime). It takes a village to raise a child, and the parents should not exclusively be to blame; especially when they are illiterate to the online world.

i don't know, i just think people should actually care about minors being in inappropriate circles and put more responsibility on the adults in those circles. saying minor pr0shippers should've been "normal" and treating them terribly instead of giving them guidance doesn't benefit anyone and all it does is make the minor feel more emboldened to stay. it's just victim-blaming at that point and does more harm than good.

[possum-socks]

Shadow actually tries to talk to Sonic and asks him what his mission is and Sonic is just like nunya! and then speeds off no wonder shadow has to deck his ass Sonic won’t stop to listen to him any other way

[krakensdottir]

There's a lot of speculation about Aziraphale's thoughts and motivations in accepting the Metatron's proposal. Nothing is known for certain at this point, so nothing's impossible yet.

Personally, though, I don't think Aziraphale was talking in code to Crowley in that final conversation. Nor do I think he was very skeptical of the Metatron at first. No, I genuinely think he bought it at first. And here's the thing: I don't blame him.

The Metatron is a fucking master at this. He offers Aziraphale everything he could want, everything he's ever wanted to hear, on a shiny silver plate. Buddy, I would jump at that. Most of us would. We might know better on some level, or at least be suspicious, but we'd want to believe so bad, we'd probably push that aside. And Aziraphale holds out at first, even when he's offered the chance to change everything. He's saying no... up to the point that Crowley is brought up. That's the sweetener. The Metatron saves that for last, knowing that if nothing else works, that will.

And he's right. Of course he is. He assessed this situation and he had every angle covered. It's not a mark against Aziraphale that it works. Again, everything he's ever hoped for. It's too good to be true, but it's also too good to pass up.

I think he's being genuine in his conversation with Crowley. Nervous? Yes. It's a HUGE change he's contemplating, a massive responsibility. He's undoubtedly got some doubts lurking in the back of his mind, not helping matters. And of course there's no telling how Crowley will take it. All of this is more than enough to explain his jitters and his too-wide smile as he makes his pitch. There's genuine hope in his face and his voice, though. His idealism and optimism have been expertly tapped into. He's willing to at least consider that they're not being played, because oh, he wants so badly to believe it. He's believed a lot less appealing lies before.

And I think it's Crowley who cracks that optimism. Harshly, but effectively. I'm not saying Aziraphale wouldn't have developed his own suspicions, because he would have. But it would've taken longer, and crucially, might not have started to happen until he was already in Heaven and essentially trapped.

Crowley's argument, his reaction, the vehemency of it startles Aziraphale. He doesn't fully understand it. But it gets him thinking. It gets him doubting. Crowley's always been good at that.

He's wary when he follows the Metatron out. His glee has been shattered, and that's good, because when the Second Coming is mentioned, then we see the cautious look kick in. Crowley's shaken him out of himself. He hasn't won the argument - neither of them has, there are no winners here - but he did accomplish part of his goal, which was to make sure that Aziraphale doesn't walk into this blind.

Again, I'm sure Az would've woken up himself. But not soon enough. He'd be holding onto hope as long as he could. And as long as he held onto it, he'd be in the Metatron's control.

[natequarter]

humphrey: *is unable to speak french, but tries his best to use what little french he does know to try to communicate with his wife and give her something that will make her happy*

humphrey: *leaves sophie alone for the most part, which is clearly what she wants*

sophie: *refuses to talk in the language of the country she lives in despite likely having being raised to marry an englishman and despite the fact that she literally knows english, choosing instead to only talk in french (fair enough, but not exactly humphrey's fault)*

humphrey: *does what she asks him to do to the best of his ability, which is admittedly not much*

robin: you talk, but you not listen :/

[impishtubist]

Okay GO fandom, riddle me this: why is it you all keep going on about "well, Crowley never told Aziraphale what happened at his trial in Heaven!" when he very clearly did???

"Angel! This is the Supreme Archangel of all Heaven, your former boss who tried very hard to cast you into hellfire and destroy you."

Clearly, at some point in the intervening three years, Crowley did tell Aziraphale about the trial and what happened in Heaven. Aziraphale knows Gabriel tried to kill him, and is choosing to help him anyway.

[ikjun]

even when sangcheol and jeongwoo are wary to trust each other what does stand out in the last four episodes is that sangcheol is the first actual adult around jeongwoo that does things to protect him from the townspeople and the town itself. several times now he stood between jeongwoo and any of the other police officers or villagers to stop them from hurting jeongwoo or make them talk to himself instead. even when they are on the odds at some points, sangcheol calls him first when he finds out new things in the investigation and uses those calls to check up on him too. he ran into jeongwoo’s house to save him from being shot (as he perceived) and stuck around to tend to him and to protect him (in his own so many words). even when they are slowly growing on each other, it is a good thing that there is at least one person around that shows jeongwoo he’s not in harm’s way all by himself and listens to him as well.

[james-is-nasqueer]

anyone else seeing some distasteful kurt busch dwi takes or is it just me

[tekkenenjoyerblue]

Working on ocs is all fun and games until you start connecting all the lore dots and look like a conspiracy theorist

[discount--dracula]

i just realized i didn't introduce a little friend on here!!

this is fnaf 2 (it/its) !!

it's a little alien guy and it's friends with 404

it gets all their information about life on earth from them (terrible source if you ask me, 404 xemself isn't exactly knowledgeable on earthly life either) (i caught him trying to eat a cable once)

it loves to learn and has a soft spot for human technology (if you give it a tamagotchi it will stay glued to it for hours, like pictured above)

it arrived together with charlotte in the same package and i customized it

bonus 404 and fnaf matching pics

[byfulcrums]

To add a little more to that post about how peaches represent SWK and Mac's relationship:

In the mountain, Macaque is the one to crush the peach in his hand. He offered it to Sun Wukong, and when he didn't accept it and instead yelled at him, he destroyed it and threw it on the ground

In the end, it was Macaque who left first, not the other way around. Now, their broken relationship isn't completely his fault, but he did play a part on it

SWK screamed at him when he tried to mend their friendship, so instead of trying again, he left. That's what broke their relationship for good. Not Sun Wukong yelling, not Liu'er Mihou not looking for him, but Macaque leaving and (as far as we know) not coming back. La gota que colmó el vaso, we could say. Stuff had already been going on between those two. SWK never seemed to genuinely listen to Macaque and his promises of staying forever were empty (he never would've been able to stay in one place for so long) and Macaque never even bothered to communicate his negative feelings over this, so when he warned him he was ignored

Sun Wukong left again and again and again, looking for more power to "be strong enough to protect them", and eventually he lost sight of why he was doing it. But no matter how many times he left, he came back. Macaque didn't

[dirtplanks]

hey, big post, but this is for all the rimster shippers reading this because i have a genuine question: why do you ship rimmer and lister? are they any specific parts of the show where you maybe just thought like ‘yep, they’re in love’?

i don’t mean this in a negative way at all, it’s just that personally i see their relationship as purely platonic.

i understand that they have a very unique dynamic (i guess one reason for shipping them) - they work well together as a pairing for sure. additionally, i do think that they are definitely best friends. like truly, deep down, they like one another but refuse to admit it (or maybe even realise it). they simply continue to drive eachother insane in order to keep themselves sane.

but the thing is, i can’t wrap my head around the romantic side of this. i can’t see it in them? i’m not saying i disagree with the ship in any way, honestly i might get convinced that they are lovers. but at the moment i don’t see it.

i mean this as an explanation for what i think (i also realise that half of what i said does make them seem pretty gay) because i am really just curious and would love to know more about why you guys ship them.

edit: would like to add that i love reading all your responses to this so thank u all :))

[yngai]

actually hate the ressie wiki for adding ada's falsified backstory from the umbrella chronicles novelization to her wiki page because it claims 'the validity of this account is questionable', leaving people who are otherwise unfamiliar with the franchise's lore who naturally peruse the wiki to assume there's a possibility ada isn't lying through her teeth in the novel, or that there's a nugget of truth hidden in her account, despite it being clearly stated otherwise pretty early on. after ada is done reciting facts about the reunification of vietnam & the treatment of the hoa people to leon the narration states succinctly that 'it had nothing to do with ada or her family in the slightest', without even mentioning the amount of times ada is surprised by how gullible leon is

i'm not even sure why they're treating the novel as a source, other than the absnece of a concrete backstory for ada, but it's like adding the dick valentine master thief background to jill's page. it isn't canon owing to the fact that it contradicts the events of the game, given there is no rendition of RE2, not even the darkside chronicles' own retelling, where ada gives her backstory upon first meeting leon in the parking garage. while the wiki does make note of two pieces of information which are true to the novel's version of ada, as they are told through ada's own thoughts about her mission in raccoon city & her work with wesker, that being the migrant workers who died because of her spreading pesticide on a sweet potato farm + her rising through the ranks of a chinese-american criminal syndicate who was crushed by the FBI, ada almost getting caught but being noticed by wesker & given the job to spy on umbrella right after, i feel like whoever's editing her wiki page didn't read the novel all the way through because they don't mention the most insane part of the whole thing, which is that ada was present for the khmer rouge in cambodia & the rwandan genocide

these aren't things i consider in my portrayal both because there's only so much real world suffering in relation to resident evil i wanna discuss on this blog, the war on terror is already so horrible that i am tiptoeing around it sometimes for the sake of not just going on about how much i hate the united states of america, & that these are narrative elements meant to show us how prepared & ready ada was for the outbreak in raccoon city which contradicts my own portrayal & both versions of RE2 where she is very much flying by the skin of her teeth clinging to desperate manipulations & leon's gullibility to make it through alive & finish her mission. it doesn't make any sense for ada to go into raccoon city having been witnesses to this amount of cruelty already, but its also a little strange to equate a fictional zombie outbreak to horrible things that have happened throughout history

[aviel-the-trans-bucket]

Yknow I’ve thought a lot about how Alex and fenn figured out they were in love.

I like to think for Alex it was no big epiphany, it was gradual.

Butterflies when they first met, a sort of camaraderie after unhallowed grave from which fenn had to walk him home, he was very concussed. To that awkward wagon ride and tomb escape.

Small moments like them finally getting comfortable around each-other to stop being total awkward messes. A brush of the hand while they were in the library together, his laugh. At some point I think Alex was just consumed by the feeling of how happy he was to be around him, it kinda snuck up on him just how deeply he loved and cared for him.

I think what he said after markarth was just that final nail. Alex dissociated pretty hardcore after everything that happened, that conversation with fenn was one of the only things keeping him anchored for a while. He is completely and utterly agonizingly in love with fenn.

There’s a reason Alex described love as feeling like something trying to claw its way out of your chest, it’s suffocating and all consuming. He feels it marrow deep, and it terrifies him how deeply he feels at times.

For fenn I think while gradual and mostly attributed to their blossoming friendship I have one moment that sticks out for me.

Fenn is with him and gwendis when investigating both castle thorn and stonegarden. It’s late, Alex is exhausted from fighting lady thorn.

All 3 of them are in a cart bound for solitude. Alex without meaning to falls asleep agains fenn’s shoulder. It’s not much but it’s such a tender moment in this sea of chaos.

I think that’s fenn’s “oh” moment.