#they are bi/pan solidarity and thats the facts

[puppysdog]

i do wish there was a way i could talk about how i cant trust anyone using the pan label due to the years of transphobic bullshit i got from that side as a bisexual, and how its so normalized and modernized to say pan instead of bi now, especially by big name companies and celebrities, that the transphobia is making a come back because we never were fully able to address the issues with the online resurgence origin of pansexual without being called mean transphobic bisexuals. like it’s heartbreaking and infuriating that these should be my queer siblings but instead i get told that im transphobic for being bi, something thats both my gender AND sexuality, because a more “inclusive” term came around, despite the fact that bisexuality has always been inclusive. I WANT to be in solidarity but how am i supposed to do shit when some 18 year old thinks theyre higher and mightier and the top of the inclusivity chain for using a different label and erasing years upon years of queer history for bisexuals

[kkeriri]

thats my best friend shes a real bad bitch

[freakus420]

this is giving me a fucking aneurism right now why do you people think that "pansexuals" are the only ones special enough to be attracted to nonbinary people dkfjksvksjcandnaxnecbaxkq

[glorywaited]

☽ /  ORLA && CASSANDRA  :  ghosts && ghouls verse                 (   @twrflwr  || aesthetics meme !!    )  ©

[vampireqrow-moved]

um its my birthday so wait until 12:01am pst to block me if u hate this post 🥰🥰

long story short the pansexual label is redudant and actively harmful (its far from the worst problem bisexuals face but it is one issue) and i dont hate anyone who identifies as pan because A) those ppl are bi like me and B) i used to identify as pan myself.

if thats enough for you to block me and make a callout post for me then i cant stop you but pretty please either read this whole thing or just wait a few minutes for my bday to end 🥰🥰

anyways im kicking off this point with some personal experiences bc i love to talk to myself. i got introduced to the pan label at maybe 10ish years old, and started identifying with it pretty much right away. i heard about it before bisexual and it was pitched as attraction to all genders and of course trans people. i was of course a trans ally! i had trans friends! i was trans also but hadnt figured it out yet! the way i had heard of it, there was no bisexual, there was no need for bisexual, and identifying differently was excluding trans people, which I was certainly against. being bisexual was trans exclusionary and why would i exclude trans people? the 'hearts not parts' slogan was thriving around this time and i genuinely said it and meant it.

as i started to become more online, mostly through roleplaying websites and tumblr here, i started hearing of bisexuality. it was supposedly an older term, so older people still used it, but it was common knowledge that pansexual was the better, inclusive label and younger people should adopt the new inclusive language instead of the old and transphobic words like bisexual. /s

and then bi and pan solidarity was all the rage! pansexual wasnt erasing bisexuality, why did anyone ever think that? bi and pan were two separate and complete identities that were valid and had to be respected or youre a mean exclusionist. and an asexual person, hearing people labelled exclusionist always meant they were excluding people from the lgbta community who rightfully belonged, denying peoples lived experiences, and generally telling people theyre wrong about their sexuality because theyre too young. and all of those things were bad and had hurt me, so it would be ridiculous to change labels and support "pan exclusionists" because they were just as bad as ace and aro exclusionists, and they were all the same people. or so it seemed to me at that time.

then, 'hearts not parts' began getting called out for blatant transphobic by insinuating that pansexual was the only identity that loved people for their "hearts" and personalities instead of those gross gays, lesbians, bisexuals, and even straights who only saw people for their "parts". (STRAIGHT PEOPLE ARE NOT OPPRESSED. I AM MERELY POINTING OUT THAT PANSEXUALITY WAS SHOWN AS ABOVE ALL OTHERS.) many pan people, including myself, began to denounce the slogan and insist pansexuality wasnt transphobic, there had just been a coincidence that a transphobic slogan was everywhere and a huge part of people's explantions of and associations with pansexuality. hint: it wasnt a coincidence.

from my perspective, this is when i began to see people discussing dropping the word pansexual. that seemed to be a huge step from getting rid off a transphobic slogan, and these people were just meanies who hated microlabels. and i like microlabels! as a genderfluid person, and someone who has friends who use specific aro and acespec labels, ive seen how people can use them to name specific experiences while still acknowleging their presence underneath umbrella terms like aromantic, asexual, nonbinary, lgbta, and for some people, queer.

pansexuals dont do that. they dont label pansexuality as a specific set of experiences under the bisexual umbrella, they see themselves as a separate identity, and even if they started to, the history of biphobia and transphobic undeniably linked to the existence of pansexuality in enough to stop being worth using. but i digress. pansexualitys shiny new definition that many people cling to is that pansexual is attraction to all genders. bisexual is two or more genders.

which. frankly? doesnt make any sense. my guess is that its supposed to be inclusive of nonbinary genders and those a part of cultures who historically have not had a binary gender system in the first place. i cannot speak for the latter group, but as a nonbinary person, its not inclusive. anyone can be attracted to nonbinary people. literally anyone. theres no way to know if everyone you meet is nonbinary or not. whether or not a nonbinary person reciprocates those feelings and is interested in pursuing a relationship is completely up to the individual, regardless of the sexualities of the people involved.

bottom line is that you cant number the amounts of genders someone can be attracted to, thus rendering those definitions pointless. people can be attracted to all kinds of people regardless of gender, even if they are gay, a lesbian, or straight. all people can date thousands of nonbinary genders if all people involved are interested and comfortable with it. numbering the genders you can be attracted to diminishes the post of nonbinary, as it is not a third gender, it simply any experience not fitting within the western concept of the gender binary (if the person so chooses to identify as such. if you cant tell already, the nonbinary experience is varied between every single nonbinary person.) important to note also that no widely accepted bisexual text defines bisexual as attracted to exclusively two genders or even the "two or more genders". i know this is used a lot but please read the bisexual manifesto. its free online i promise.

some people also claim pansexuals experience "genderblind" attraction while bisexuals feel differently attracted to different genders. this is very nitpicky for whats supposed to be two unconnected idenities, but thats only part of the problem. this definition is also not in any widely accepted bisexual texts, and bisexuality has never excluded those who experience genderblind attraction. i am in fact a bi person who experiences genderblind attraction. this does not mean i am not bisexual. it simply means i experience bisexuality differently than other bisexuals, and thats wonderful! no broad communities like bisexuality are expected to all share the same experience. we are all so different and its amazing were able to come together under the bisexual flag.

last definition, or justification i should say, is that yes these definitions are redundant and theyre the same sexuality, but people prefer different labels and thats okay. i agree in principle. people can define themselves as many things like homosexuals or gays or lesbians or queers or even other reclaimed slurs, while still not labelling themselves under the most "common" or "accurate" labels.

but pansexuality isnt the same as bisexuality, which may sound silly but hear me out. it has been continually used as a way to further divide bisexuals, who are already subject to large amounts of lgbta discrimination. "pansexuality was started by trans people who were upset with transphobia within the bisexual community! it cant be transphobic OR biphobic!" except of course that it can and it is. to say that trans people cant be transphobic is absurd. transmedicalism is right there, but thats not what im getting at. all minorities can have internal and sometimes external biases against people who are the same minority as them.

pansexuality was started as a way to be trans inclusive at the expense of labelling bisexuality as transphobic when its not. transphobia is everywhere, and bisexuals are not exempt. instead of working on the transphobia within the community, the creators of pansexuality decided to remove themselves from it to create a better and less tainted word and community, and the fact that pansexuality is intended to replace bisexuality or leave it for the transphobes goes to show a few things. pansexuality and bisexuality are inherently linked because the pan label is in response to the bi label. due to its origins, it is inherently competing with bisexuality and it cant be "reclaimed" from its biphobic roots. pansexuality is not a whole, separate, and valid label. its a biphobic response to issues within the bisexual community.

to top off this post, heres something a full grown adult once said to me. in person. she was my roommate. "i feel like im pan because im attracted to trans people. trans women, trans men, i could definitely date them. but not nonbinary people because thats gross and weird." she saw pan as trans inclusive and defined herself that way as opposed to bi which is shitty!

also a little extra tidbit about my experiences identifying as pan. i saw myself as better than every bi person. all of them. even my trans and bi friends. whenever they brought up being bisexual i would think to myself "why dont you identify as pansexual? its better and shows people you support trans people." because i was made to believe bisexuality didnt and was therefore inferior. thats the mindset that emerged from my time in the pansexual community. i am so sorry to all of my bisexual friends even if they never noticed. i love you all and hope you have a great day. this also goes to any bisexuals or people who identify as bi in anyway, such as biromantic or simply bi. love you all.

ummm yeah heres some extra reading i found helpful and relevant. here and here. also noooo dont disagree with me and unfollow me im so sexy 🥴🥴🥴

[enbypanposi]

hey genuine question but whats the difference between bi and pan? so sorry if this sounds rude but im just curious

Alright so im gonna use this ask to soapbox a little. Your question is not bad and is in fact a common one so no shame but I just have some Thoughts on this.

Hot take, but: There is no functional difference that matters among any mspec identity. Hear me out:

I see loads of posts trying to find a difference, and they ultimately become very granular and honestly thats not how orientation usually works. Its an instinct and and impulse and we dont control it. There a whole lot of “bi means 2 or more and pan means all with no preference and omni means all with preference” and etc for every mspec identity but thats not accurate. Pan people have preferences, omni people might not, and there are definite flaws with the ‘two or more’ definition of bi that bi blogs have pointed out better than I ever could. When we get more and more specific with identity that way we exclude people who dont fit the definition because we make it retroactively narrower. “Pan means x and y but not z” leads to “therefore all mspec people who are x and y must be pan no matter what label they use” and “therefore pan people who are z must use a different label.” Thats not right. Labels arent just words whose definitions we fit, their words we CHOOSE to describe us. Definitions dont pick peoples labels, people pick peoples labels. So I think when we ask this ‘whats the difference’ question we mean well but ultimately reinforce gatekeeping identity. ‘Whats the difference’ is kind of meaningless because sexuality is individual and everyone has different experiences with it and how they define themself, which may not be exactly 10000% in line with their chosen label. A bi and pan person may both describe their sexuality the same way, but that doesnt mean that they ARE the same, and plenty other bi and pan people will describe it in different ways. Sexuality isnt rigidly defined and in fact cant be. It may make it easier to think about when we invent these rigid definitions but ultimately thats not a good thing and will just make people more confused about themselves. Not everyone is able to parse out and differentiate x and y and z in their sexuality. Plenty of people dont want to. They shouldnt be barred from these labels and these labels shouldnt be made to bar people.

Now, that doesnt mean they should all be collapsed into one label, it means that this ‘whats the difference’ question is irrelevant and ultimately made to create restrictions. These restriction shouldnt exist. Labels are and should remain flexible terms we choose to apply to ourself. They should not be forced on us because we fit that definition ‘better’ than another, thats just weaponizing definitions. And honestly? I do see people do this quite a bit and its not right. Bi people will say they use that label because theyre capable of being attracted to anyone and people will tell them they should be using pan instead then. Thats not right. This happens not just to bi people but to all mspec people, and I want to make it extra clear that thats the exact kind of nonsense that happens when we insist that these things are rigid and inflexible and that the only reason we use labels is because we fit the definitions. Not true. Personal choice and attachment plays a huge role, and no one can or should force another to adopt a certain term. So, the idea that they have to be monumentally, quantifiably different and distinct only really plays into this idea. Are there distinctions? Yes. Are there reasons a person might choose one over the other? Yes. But BOTH of those things are ultimately person to person, not innate truths of the words themselves. The words are just loose ways to be mspec, and individual people will be mspec in their own way which is as varied as people can be, ie: infinite.

Again I dont think this means that its all one label or should be collapsed into one. I think no matter how you try to do that youre going to be elevating one mspec identity while insisting the others are inferior to it. The Bi+ Umbrella is just one example--no shade to people or organizations who choose to use it. I understand how its important from a legal standpoint to say ‘all mspec people fall under the B in LGBT+’ because otherwise there are no protections for us mspec folk who are not bi--I think it gets a bad rep from folks who dont get this and I think theres definitely BETTER ways to do it, but, sure, it exists for a reason which deserves to be acknowledged. What it does, however inadvertently, is imply that Bi is the pinnacle of being mspec and all the umbrella identities are less. Youll see a lot that Bi is a macro identity and that Pan, Ply, Omni are each microlabels because ‘they all fit the definition of bi’ but in truth each fits the definition of each other anyway. You could easily say that Omni is a macro identity and Bi Pan and Ply are microlabels because they each fit the definition of omni and youd be right. Its not a useful way to describe labels no matter which way you slice it. Theyre equals and the distinctions are as varied as the people who use them. Its one grand community of mspec people all using the same words in different ways and that should be celebrated! When we focus in on differences we just separate from each other and exclude and nitpick the words we use for ourselves and each other. It prevents us from forming solidarity as people who all face the same oppression and the same joy.

TLDR?: Theres not really any kind of distinction that matters since sexuality is different to different people. Its better to leave labels vague and flexible because thats how theyre used and doing the opposite reinforces gatekeeping and other negative ways to view being mspec. The differences arent identity based theyre person based and rooted in experience and not the literal definitions of words. Forming solidarity is much more important than picking out the minor ways we are different.

[penebui]

Lgbt manga pt.1

If you had to put up with my sorry ass for a few years then yes you know that I have been searching for lgbt mangas!! I put up with the pain of going through most genres that sexualize/fetishize gender identities and sexualities (like yaoi and gender bender) and reading mangas to find if they have lgbt content so you dont have to suffer the pain of trying to! Clown on this post and please face my wrath

Keep in mind that these aren’t in order of ratings!! Its just a list. I also give summaries of the plot, the things that make it lgbt, and some content warnings!! 

1. Welcome to Room #305! by Wanan 

Kim Jung Hyun moves into an apartment (room #305) with a friend of a friend, named Kim Homo! Who (you guessed it) is gay! As Jung Hyung begins to live with Kim Homo, he slowly learns to accept him for his sexuality. Once he overcomes his homophobia and completely accepts him for who he is, other lgbt characters pop in too!! They all have their struggles with their identities, and it is very realistic, but the art style helps keep all that angst at bay! As far as english translations go, we have several lesbian characters, and a trans guy. You can read the english translation on several manga sites, but if you want the link to the original since this is a webcomic, here’s the [link]! Unfortunately english updates are very slow since translation teams have other projects, and legal companies who translate take their sweet precious time. 

2. Bokura no Hentai by Fumiko Fumi

The title might seem misleading, however it can be translated as “Our Transformation”! Buckle up buttercup cause this manga will fuck you over emotionally. Three crossdressers meet up after being in a crossdressing group, with different reasons as to why they crossdress. Parou crossdresses to fall in love with a straight guy, Marika is actually a trans woman, and Yui crossdresses as his dead sister to “help” his mother with her grieving. There are some other characters who don’t fit within the gender norms! 

Now let me tell you if you are dealing with some trauma and can’t handle very sensitive topics, this manga might not be the one for you. Although it isnt just homophobia and transphobia, it also contains content of sexual harrassment, pedophilia, and suicide. However these topics are not glorified or sexualized. They are trauma of some of the characters and they must learn how to overcome from it individually. However, there is a happy ending for them!! Please let that be known! I enjoyed reading it if sobbing your heart out counts as enjoying it, because it has indeed pulled my heart strings (although I am not a trans woman, I am a trans guy and I can identify with only some of the things Marika goes through, as trans women go through different experiences than trans men and have it harder on them.) 

3. Hourou Musuko (Wandering Son) by Takako Shimura

This manga is one of the most well known mangas realistically depicting trans identity. It became popular when an anime adaptation came out! However the anime adaptation only covers the middle school part of our protagonists lives, however it encourages you to read the manga to find out what happens to them and their life! We have two protagonists. Shuichi who identifies as a girl, and Yoshino who identifies as a boy. Shuichi is the primary protagonist while Yoshino serves as a secondary protagonist. 

This manga also realistically depicts how hard it is for transfeminine people to come out and be themselves while transmasculine people seem to have it easier (dont clown on this dear fuck). We have lesbian, gay, and genderfluid characters galore! Although they do have some touchy topics like transmisogyny and transphobia in general, it is less heavier than Bokura no Hentai.  

Some people might not like the outcome of this story when it comes to Yoshino, however I am content with it because it shows that people should be able to explore their gender identity, and they are welcome to change it anytime as they see fit. Sometimes you won’t figure out your identity if you don’t explore. 

4. Shimanami Tasagore / Our Dreams at Dusk by Yuhki Kamatani

Also one of the more well known ones, the mangaka of this beautiful story is X-gender and asexual! It follows the protagonist, Tasuku is contemplating suicide as rumors circulate that he is gay at his highschool (he is). He sees a woman jumping off a building nearby and runs to her aid. Her name is Anonymous/Somebody and she sees herself is asexual but other than that she does not like labels, she invites Tasuku inside the building she just jumped off, which contains a group of exclusively lgbt characters. 

We have both trans, lesbian, and gay people. We see their struggles. We see how they overcome it. We see how even we ourselves can harm others even if we’re both lgbt. Of course there is homohpobia, transphobia, etc. however it is all handled perfectly and we get the satisfaction of these characters speaking up for either themselves or for each other. I also love Anonymous simply because she doesn’t like labels and chooses not to use them (excluding the asexual part). Not everyone whos part of the lgbt community has a label, however they are still a part of us! 

5. Fukakai na boku no subete o (Fukaboku)/ Love me for who I am by Konayama Kata

Fukaboku is a very special manga to me, as it goes in depth on gender identity and sexuality. There are two protagonists, Tetsu who is a cis guy and supposedly straight (we later find out that he is not), and Mogumo, who is both intersex and nonbinary. 

Tetsu works as a chef at Question Cafe, and everyone employed in fanlations are called girlyboys, however in the official translation they use otokonoko which is anyone crossdressing as a girl regardless of their gender. There are plenty of transwomen, gay people, etc.! Tetsu falls in love with Mogumo, so he isn’t straight, however he isn’t explicitly gay because he recognizes Mogumo as what they identify as, nonbinary. It is safe to say that he could either be pan, bi, omni, etc. however we can’t confirm since it hasn’t been explicitly stated.

We learn how transfeminine people have certain struggles, like shoes that dont fit them, breasts, and voice feminization. We also have a dose of family struggles when it comes to Mogumo in later/current chapters. 

Before you dm me, yes. Yes I know about the shit prequel. The prequel actually features a gay couple in fukaboku. I have read it. Reluctantly even if it was only 24 pages. However just because the prequel is shit does not mean we should cancel Fukaboku. There is a thing called being critical of the content you’re enjoying. If we treated it like cancel y because of x, then things like persona 4 and danganronpa would be cancelled, but lets not get into that. 

6. Kanojo ni Naritai Kimi to Boku by Umi Takase

I haven’t heard of this one as much as I have the others, so I was very much pleased when I heard about this! There are two protagonist (yes there are a lot of lgbt mangas with two protags I’ve noticed too), Hime and Akira. Hime has a crush on Akira, who identifies as a girl. However this manga is also realistic, as Akira doesn’t fully ‘pass’ as a girl herself. Hime wants to do anything she can to help Akira feel comfortable on her first day of school wearing a girl’s uniform. Because of Akira being made fun of, Hime shows up to school in Akira’s male uniform to help Akira in solidarity. 

Their teachers are fully aware of Akira’s situation, however instead of discriminating her they accept her. Their homeroom teacher helps Hime overcome her internal problem about lashing out at others who try to befriend Akira, and she slowly realizes that just because people can’t accept Akira straight away, they will slowly get used to her and come to terms with the fact that Akira is trans in their own time rather than have it being forced on them.

Hime and Akira make friends slowly and we see that even little things (like calling Akira cute and/or a girl) helps Akira, even if theyre small things we dont usually notice. Hime also struggles with her crush as she sees Akira as a girl, yet she cant accept the fact that shes attracted to girls. 

Although Akira doesnt feel the same way as Hime does, she doesnt just like her as a friend, but also not as a lover either. Its safe to say that these two have a quasiplatonic relationship with each other. 

7. Yuzu no Koto by Arai Shou

I have noticed that there are plenty of mangas with transfeminine characters as the focus, rather than transmasculine, so heres one for the transmasculines! Ichigo’s best friend Yuzu comes back to school, however he is enrolling as a boy! It is very humorous as Ichigo tries to understand and get used to her best friend’s new identity. Although it is slow as each chapter is a single page, it is hinted that Yuzu has a crush on Ichigo (or if thats just me squinting really hard). 

8. Ohana Holoholo by Torino Shino 

It is a story about two bi women who are ex-girlfriends, raising one of the women’s baby together as a little family! There is also an idol/actor who helps them out and visits them occassionally! If you want something warming and wholesome, this is the manga for you!! 

9. My Androgynous Boyfriend by Tamekou

Wako, a woman who works for a publishing company is in a relationship with an androgynous/genderless man! Her boyfriend wears dresses, makeup, and is an instagram model! It is not necessarily treated as crossdressing. It is handled pretty well, and the chemistry between Wako and her boyfriend is very strong. They both love each other so much and help each other with their hobbies and interests. This is what a loving and healthy relationship is supposed to look like!!

10. Inside Mari by Shuzo Oshimi

It is debatable if this is actually considered lgbt, considered the circumstances, however I put it on this list because it shows how mental illnesses and disorders really feel to the person whos suffering from it. Please read throughout this whole section to understand why. 

Inside Mari is about a man named Isao who stalks this young girl named Mari. He follows her back outside of a little convenience store, but when she turns back and looks at him he wakes up inside her body and doesn’t know how to cope with it. He tries to find Mari while putting on a facade and living as her. He meets a girl named Yori who instantly recognizes that Isao isn’t actually Mari from his mannerisms. This girl has had a crush on Mari, just like Isao. Isao tries to prove to Yori that he switched bodies, and when he goes to his apartment, he finds someone living as him, but it isn’t Mari.

The more we delve into this manga, the more we figure out exactly what happened to Mari and Isao. As Isao and Yori visit and retrace his steps, Isao gets flashbacks to memories of Mari. Isao soon realizes that he isn’t actually the real Isao, but a introject of Isao, and that Mari actually has DID because of childhood trauma. The ending is bittersweet, as Mari comes back but Isao unfortunately becomes dormant/disappears since I don’t think what happened was them merging. 

11.  Seibetsu  "Mona Lisa" No Kimi He by Yoshimura Tsumuji 

In the world, people can choose what gender they want to be when they’re 12. When they’re 14 their appearance corresponds to their gender. Hinase however, is 18 years old and they still haven’t chosen a gender. They prefer to be neither. However when their two best friends suddenly confess to them, their hormonal development suddenly starts to increase. 

Imagery and symbolism is very clear in this manga!! As we revolve around the color blue/cyan and the debate and interpretations of Mona Lisa’s gender. I’m very hopeful that Hinase will stay as nonbinary rather than choosing a gender, simply because both of their best friends confessed and asked them to become the opposite gender to be with them. It is very much hinted that Hinase will be in a romantic relationship with their male best friend however. I love this manga simply because the protagonist doesn’t want to identify as either male nor female. 

12. Jun And Kaoru: Pure And Fragrant by Neiki Zui

Jun and Kaoru have a special condition, by midnight they both switch genders. Because they both have this condition, they hang out with each other and help each other with clothing, etc. It should be addressed that these two do not have the “I wish to be a girl/boy” etc. The problem that they have though is their growing crush on each other. They are either genderqueer, or genderfluid, or whatever you prefer since it isn’t directly stated within the manga. They’re not cis or straight! It is a very fun and comedic love story and I wish to see further updates on it!!! 

13. Sakura-Chan to Amane-Kun by Asazuki Norito 

This story revolves around Sakura who identifies as a girl and Amane who identifies as a boy. Amane spots Sakura dressed as a girl and instantly recognizes her, however instead of belittling her he asks her out on a date, only if she goes as a girl. During school however, they have to pretend to be the gender theyre assigned with while not interacting with each other. 

Since there is a lot more but I dont want to break tumblr, I will be making a part 2 and I’ll post it tomorrow! 

[what-even-is-thiss]

could you elaborate more on the relating to gay men thing? bc i am a cis bi girl (at least thats what i say for the sake of conversation) and ive felt the relation thing for forever, and have been feeling super confused about my gender. sorry if this was confusing lol

Well it’s pretty hard to explain. I guess, just the way that I liked men and the way I wanted men to treat me matched up with the way gay relationships play out? I sort of looked at gay men’s struggles and felt a strange amount of like “I relate” you know. Like I think all queer/lgbtq+ people can relate to each other on some level but the way I felt connected to gay men wasn’t the same way I felt connected to lesbians or bi/pan people. It was more similar to the way I related to other asexual people I think. There was a lot of “That’s me” feelings that I was misinterpreting as me sympathizing and being a passionate ally I guess. I think before I came to terms with the fact that I was trans I misinterpreted a lot of my feelings, honestly. Trying to look at my feelings through the lens of being a woman rather than being non binary/agender/a man/whatever I was in the moment made me so confused all of the time. I think when you’re not being yourself that really confuses your emotions and makes you misinterpret a lot of things. It’s sort of like wearing glasses that make you see everything in inverse color and distorted. You can learn to function after a lifetime of living with them on, but that doesn’t mean that you’re functioning properly or know what reality actually looks like. Realizing I was trans was like putting on a different pair of glasses that actually let me see clearly and after a few years of wearing them I’ve been able to finally see what certain things actually are. And maybe that relating to gay men thing was actually a “same hat” feeling rather than a feeling of solidarity.

[stcrmscngs]

@praesidii​​ said:  nero, gieve, and jaskier!

send me a character and i’ll tell you (soft headcanons) // accepting!

what they smell like: Coffee. intensely of coffee. Mostly coffee, actually. Beneath that, though, there are sharp, cold notes of metallic scents, as well as hints of ozone-- like the smell of an aether storm.

what their favorite smells in the world are: He likes the smell of coffee, particularly early in the morning, but actually he likes the smell of Chamomile even more overall, even though he doesn’t tend to drink the tea steeped from it. His favorite scents, above either of those, are tied to the ironworks.

what pajamas they wear/what they wear to sleep in: pajama pants and a tank top usually, both washed so many times that they’re very soft. When dragged out of bed and not fully dressed yet, he’ll throw on a pair of slippers and a red silk robe because he is, in fact, That Bitch.

my favorite ship (if applicable) and a cute hc about them: I mean. Obligatory CidNero shriek here. And for a cute hc....hmmm..... Nero is the little spoon. No, I don’t take constructive criticism.

my favorite friendship (if applicable) and a cute hc about them: Okay so I’m about to jump into Crystal Tower Era Nero and cry about how attached he got to Doga and Unei in such a short amount of time, going so far that he legit almost fucking crystalized and died in the process of protecting them?? AND THEN HAD THE ABSOLUTE AUDACITY to lie to everyone’s FACES and claim it wasn’t done out of kindness or care but the explanation he tries to give for it doesn’t make any goddamn sense. So basically my hc here is that he cares them.

a song that reminds me of them: Nobody - Besomorph. NOBODY - BESOMORPH. NOBODY - BESOMORPH!!!!!!!!!!!  I'm doing what I can to keep what's left of my mind But I'm reading into everything like truth is there between the lines Mind is screaming Lungs aren't breathing, waiting for success to free me Always was, always will be I'll put this out and tear it down when no one listens I'll smile and destroy it like we meant nothing I'll repeat till I turn hollow, no one cares hard pill to swallow I fell short too many times It's living there (living there) In the back of my mind (back of my mind) Always was and I always will be Nobody, nobody Always was and I always will be Nobody, nobody It's stealing the air like it needs oxygen Drinking my youth like it lives off its blood Always was and I always will be Nobody, nobody

what animal i think they would be if they were an animal: I think! I mean I know dragons don’t count as animals but the man made his helmet look like a dragon so the imagery is just stuck with me.

what position they sleep in: Nero is a side-sleeper, legs stretched all the way out and sprawled wherever they please.

their favorite drink: Coffee. He LIVES on it. He is only alive by the grace of coffee.

a gift i would give them if i could: A funky lil puzzle box! Metal, probably, with a bunch of little clicky mechanisms so my boy can stim (Because IMAGINE NERO BEING NEUROTYPICAL THATS HILARIOUS)

what they smell like: Gieve smells faintly of the sea, under a layer of gorgeous perfume-- saffron, red musk, and spices with hints of patchouli, lilies, and osmanthus. There are also notes of leather, sword oil, and the polish he uses for his oud.

what their favorite smells in the world are: Gieve loves the smell of clear fresh air, most scented incense, sweet fresh fruit....or a nice-smelling, attractive person to snuggle up to.

what pajamas they wear/what they wear to sleep in: Gieve sleeps in his smalls and a comfy shirt that is several sizes too big for him (bought with the express purpose of comfy sleeping), unless it’s summer, or in other circumstances that may call for less clothing.

my favorite ship (if applicable) and a cute hc about them: I’m like. Ridiculously fond of all of my Gieve ships which is probably only because I have like one and a half that I actually get to write?? and I want More. But I suppose I’d have to label my favorite as Hermes and Gieve because I’m a weak man and enemies to lovers has so much spicy potential when done right. 

my favorite friendship (if applicable) and a cute hc about them: FARANGIS AND GIEVE ARE MY ABSOLUTE FAVORITE PLATONICALLY because I live for the lesbian-bi solidarity and the banter and their mutual poking fun, they’re just amazingly good.

a song that reminds me of them: Dancer and The Moon - Blackmore’s Night Follow me closely Arms wrapped around me Life is a sweet, sweet wine Glittering gold as Stories unfold those Secrets are lost in time To the heartbeat of the night Hey, hey, hey, till the break of day La lala lalalala lala lala lala Hey, hey, hey, dance the whole night through Nothing gets between The dancer and the moon

what animal i think they would be if they were an animal: A fox!

what position they sleep in: Depends on whether or not he’s alone. Alone, he sleeps on his stomach stretched out every way he possibly can. If he’s with a partner, he’ll tangle his legs with theirs and curl up close to them.

their favorite drink: Spiced wine

a gift i would give them if i could: so many pairs of cute earrings

what they smell like: Fancy bath salts, cologne-- probably lots of lavender and bergamot, with hints of white musk and clove

what their favorite smells in the world are: Most flowers-- particularly poppies--, fresh-baked bread, petrichor

what pajamas they wear/what they wear to sleep in: if in a bed, usually shirtless in some comfortable pants. If on the road, he sleeps in generally whatever he was wearing that day.

my favorite ship (if applicable) and a cute hc about them: Hi I love geralt and jaskier in any form they take so. yeah. there’s that. Regardless of whether it’s requited or not, Jaskier always has feelings for and is attracted to Geralt but will keep that to himself if there is no mutual interest because he just likes being around Geralt and platonic interaction is just as good. He’s just hopelessly pan and that’s my headcanon for today.

my favorite friendship (if applicable) and a cute hc about them: Again, geralt and jaskier win this category. I could honestly go either way with them and love them the same amount.

a song that reminds me of them: The obvious choice here would be the one he literally sings but y’know, Soldier, Poet, King - The Oh Hellos has a fun Jaskier vibe. Not necessarily lyrics-wise but just the overall vibe!

what animal i think they would be if they were an animal: probably a bird of some kind? I need something Agent-Of-Chaos enough for him.

what position they sleep in: Curled up on his side, cuddling whatever is closest to him

their favorite drink: Wine! Good, preferably, but it’s not a requirement.

a gift i would give them if i could: A pat on the head and the death of one of his various enemies? So that he can have fewer feral bastard hours??

[soledadcatalina]

all of em

well fuck me okay

1. What is your sexuality? What is your romantic orientation?

Lesbian Dykely

2. What is your gender identity?

vague

3. Are you out? If you’re out, who did you come out to first? What’s your favorite coming out story? If you’re not, what is keeping you from coming out?

i mean i remember coming out as pan when i first was really looking into myself, and im not sure who i rlly came out to first? probably my online friends, but then guidance counsellor, middle school friends, then my mom followed by most of my family

at the same time tho u never stop coming out, and i dont really have any favourite coming out stories bc every time i doi do it with nerverwracking attention no matter how casually i try to pass it off

4. When did you realize that you are LGBTQ? What made you realize that you are LGBTQ?

in retrospect, real fuckin obvious how much i fixated on girls and the fact i was considered a “tomboy” helped cement it. but i guess when i was abt 12 or so when i started fuckin falling hard and fast into crushes on girls

5. Who was the first LGBTQ person that you met?

to my memory: my auntie steph and auntie dom who are wives and are currently rasing two lovely girls!!! i guess to tie in with that last question, seeing their relationship really helped me feel saer within my family

6. Have you ever been to Pride? What was your favorite part of that experience, if you have? What was your least favorite? If you have not, do you want to go to Pride?

pride is pretty fun, what fucking sucks is that whenever toronto pride rolls around, either me or my gf are working and cant go together and all the gay friends i know irl are all homebodies and dont fuckin post shit abt going to pride as a group. so im literally always like “hm i think i should get a haircut lemme get off here and - fuck its pride again”

7. Do you have any tips for coming out?

the concept of coming out of the closet is bullshit in the ways its engrained in popular narratives to try and placate the straight and cis people in your life to make them feel comfortable. you shouldnt have to beg anyone to accept you, to apologise for your existence. 

however, the best and comforting way to come out is to another person from the community, because that is a comfort in solidarity, and let’s both of you know that neither of you are truly ever alone. its bonding over pain ans hardships, but also through the wonderful experiences of loving and who it is you are. 

8. What would you tell your younger self if you had the chance?

it all gets gayer from here.

9. Describe your ideal partner.

a good & loving goofus whomst i can settle into a comfortable domestic future with and know that i can trust and rely on but also a verse top 

10. Describe your ideal date.

im such a homebody dyke efgrfeergtedwergeehgr well thats why i cant get fuckin invites to pride, but nonetheless, i just love that comfy shit? i just like to be in close proximity and touch and sleep beside each other

11. Who is your favorite LGBTQ idol of all time?

god i dont rlly stan idols or celebrities so idrk???

12. Who is your favorite LGBTQ book character?

both eva and grace from “how to make a wish” tbh, ill continue to say it but i love this book and it fuckin now is the bar of how teenage lesbians and bi girls are written and the complexity and emotion these two are given??

13. Who is your favorite LGBTQ+ movie character?

i feel like ill be coming back to add onto these but can i say utena and anthy who are the lesbian power couple  

14. Who is your favorite LGBTQ+ musician?

god my mind keeps blanking when it comes to real ppl but syd tha kid has such a smooth fuckin voice and almost all the songs she sings are abt women

15. Who is your favorite LGBTQ+ actor?

again im blanking but man, samira wiley, laverne cox, keiynan lonsdale all come to mind

16. What advice do you have for those who are not be in a safe place to come out?

your safety is first and foremost the important thing for you to consider, i know it’s hard to stay in the closet, especially around bigotry and ppl who continue to be on their bullshit. try to build connections online if you can but be mindful of deleting your browser history if necessary. you are definitely not alone, it’s hard to say earnestly that it gets better but there are people out there fighting to make it better as rough as it is right now 

17. Who has helped you the most in realising/accepting your identity?

i meaning realising that ive fallen in love with a girl who made my heart ache was a pretty good indicator lol. but i mean the internet is good for some things and being able to be gay freely online really shaped me bc i sure the fuck was too anxious to mention it. 

18. Do you have any tips on how cisgender and/or heterosexual people can be better allies to LGBTQ+ people?

buy me my butch shit and soft flannels. 

also for once dont be a bitch and take what ur friends say seriously when they talk abt their experiences with homophobia and transphobia. 

19. Describe your first crush.

we were in middle school and despite all the shit ppl tried to talk her with, i knew her, my best friend, and she was wonderful and it hurt me every time i realised that we would never work out until at some point we simply stopped talking, and that romantic love turned into platonic love. i dont really think about her often anymore. 

20. Are you proud of your identity?

i love being a lesbian, i love women, i love my girlfriend, and i never ever ever want to ever even consider the notion of being straight ever again

[creacherkeeper]

Solgbt people are allowed to headcanon characters as such and want it to become canon which I totally respect. However, when I say the same about my autistic headcanons as an autistic person apparently that’s not allowed and “oh that will never happen” and “you’re just self projecting onto those characters”. And like I’m so confused it feels like the same thing but they’re allowed to do it and I’m not? modelling myself after my favourite autistic headcanon characters has helped me immensely

i mean ... unfortunately the same exact thing happens to lgbt people. it really depends on what circles you’re in, but it’s very common especially for bi/pan, ace, and trans people to hear that they’re just projecting and that their favorite characters could never be like them. because the reality is that lgbt characters (especially queer characters that arent gay or lesbian) in media is still few and far between, each one of them hard won. and we need to have solidarity together rather than resenting each other, because it really sucks when it happens to anybody and we need to work together to overcome that. the fact that it’s more accepted for lgbt people is because of the immense hard work of lgbt fans and real life advocates. even with the shit we still get, we’ve come a long way and it’s because of continual fighting for the right to exist. and autistic people are going through the same thing now, because the autistic rights movement just hasn’t been around as long as queer rights movements have been. the autistic self advocacy network, for instance, has only been around for 11 years while queer rights groups have been around for decades, working so that people feel more accepted and acceptable in all places. autistic rights are still young, and we’re going through steps for acceptance, but that takes time. it takes a lot of people standing up and saying “i, and people like me, have the right to exist”. thats what lgbt fans are and have been doing. autistic fans need to make ourselves loud and unashamed. we still have a long way to go, but we’re not going to get anywhere by throwing other marginalized fans under the bus. if it’s lgbt fans that are telling you you cant headcanon, then you tell them “im in the same spot you are. we both have a right to exist and see ourselves in characters”. if they still dont agree then just be louder than them. plug your ears and yell louder. we’re not going to make any progress by folding at resistance. if you think people are telling you youre not allowed to call characters autistic, you say fuck the system and do it anyway

[g1rlcore]

im seeing a lot of discourse on my dash, whats your headcanon of ellie from tlou? i see a lot of people headcanon different things!

i think i really like the diversity of headcanons for female characters that have explicitly expressed interest in girls!!! bi/pan girls and lesbians can all relate to a character and thats really cool and should be a point of solidarity, not isolating/fighting with each other

personally i headcanon ellie as a lesbian and honestly i dont need to justify it but like....i just feel like thats right for her character. her relationship with riley is pivotal to her character arc and really shapes everything she does in the main game, and the way she navigates the world while in love with another girl is just something i really relate to as someone who’s like 80% sure shes a lesbian 

ppl can hc her as bi if they want, i think that when i first played the game i definitely just saw ellie as a reflection of myself and at the time i id’d as bi. i just think that people using this to act as if her relationship with riley was not as meaningful as it was is hurtful, or people using their hc to ship her with other characters which would either be sam (which i think is a really bad ship bc they are clearly both children, sam is younger and obviously dealing with a lot of trauma and the dynamics of their relationship do not feel like a romantic one at all, idk why people dont get this) or any number of male characters that are CLEARLY ADULT WHILE SHES A CHILD. people just need to understand that their personal headcanon of a character isn’t fact for everyone, just for them, and that their hc doesnt give them an excuse to be a freak. 

if people want to headcanon sga girls as bi they need to do so with responsibility. i think people using their headcanon to justify feelings for male characters that have either treated the character poorly or the main character just hasnt expressed interest in is wrong. you need to remember how much comp het plays a role in the lives of young wlw, especially lesbians. same with people who headcanon characters as lesbian, bc writing off the character as not being bi can be....biphobic sometimes and bisexual erasure IS a thing and when ppl act like it isnt its so ugly