#they are also people who could have understood each other's pain of the loss of their parents

[deathandnonexistentialdread]

K and Kim Gaon would have been unstoppable together

[bookwormjust]

Hearts of Iron

(established relationship with Cassian, you are a healer who created a clinic for trauma more specially traumatic events of war)

The sun had barely begun to rise over the mountains of Velaris as you made your way to the Healing Center. It was a quiet walk, the streets still empty at this early hour. Your footsteps echoed lightly on the cobblestones as you breathed in the cool, crisp morning air.

Being a psychologist for soldiers and those scarred by war was never easy. You carried the weight of their pain with you, their stories etched in your mind long after your sessions had ended. But it was a calling you’d accepted wholeheartedly—a way to help heal the broken, just as you had once been.

As Cassian’s mate, you understood all too well the toll that battle and violence could take on a person’s spirit. Your own mate had seen more wars and bloodshed than most could ever comprehend, and while he wore his bravado like armor, you knew the depth of the scars that lay beneath.

You arrived at the Healing Center, the building a familiar sight after all these years. The scent of herbs and healing magic clung to the air as you stepped inside, greeting the other healers and counselors with a warm smile.

Your first session was with a soldier from the Illyrian legions, one who had been injured in a skirmish weeks ago. He had seen his comrades fall, had barely survived himself, and now the nightmares haunted him every time he closed his eyes. You spent the morning with him, listening patiently as he spoke, guiding him through breathing exercises when his hands began to tremble, offering quiet words of reassurance when the weight of his trauma became too much to bear.

After he left, you leaned back in your chair, exhaustion creeping in. You loved what you did, but days like these—when the hurt was too raw, too fresh—could leave you feeling drained.

It was then that you felt a familiar presence in your mind. Cassian’s voice slid into your thoughts like a warm breeze, his tone gentle but playful. How’s my beautiful mate doing? I miss you.

A smile tugged at your lips despite the heaviness in your chest. Tired, but I’m managing, you replied. Just had a tough session. But I’ll be home soon.

You’re incredible, you know that? His voice was filled with pride and warmth, and you could practically feel the love radiating through the bond. What you do for these soldiers… for these people… It means more than you know.

You sighed softly, leaning your head back against the chair. I’m just trying to help, Cass. They’ve been through so much—just like you have.

There was a pause, and then his voice returned, quieter this time. You’ve helped me too, more than I can ever put into words.

Your heart squeezed at the sincerity in his voice. Even after all this time, it still surprised you how open and vulnerable Cassian could be with you. To the world, he was the General of the Illyrian legions, fearless and unbreakable. But with you, he was just Cassian—the male who trusted you with his heart, his wounds, his soul.

I’m so lucky to have you, you sent back, your love and gratitude echoing through the bond.

And I’m the luckiest male alive to have you as my mate, he replied, his tone lighter now. But don’t push yourself too hard, okay? I’m counting the minutes until you’re home.

You chuckled softly, warmth flooding your chest. I won’t. I’ll see you soon.

The rest of your day passed in a blur of sessions and consultations. You saw a mix of soldiers and civilians, each one carrying their own story of pain, of loss. And with each one, you offered what you could—an ear to listen, words of guidance, tools to help them begin to rebuild the pieces of their lives.

By the time the sun had set, you were exhausted, but there was also a sense of fulfillment in knowing you had made a difference, even if it was small.

When you finally walked through the front door of your home, the familiar scent of leather and spices greeted you. Cassian was waiting for you in the living room, his large form sprawled across the couch, wings draped lazily over the back. His hazel eyes lit up the moment he saw you, a grin spreading across his face.

“There’s my beautiful mate,” he said, his voice full of affection.

You couldn’t help but smile as you kicked off your shoes and made your way over to him. Without a word, he opened his arms wide, and you sank into his embrace, your small form enveloped by his warmth. His wings curled protectively around you as you rested your head against his chest, listening to the steady beat of his heart.

Cassian pressed a kiss to the top of your head, his hand rubbing gentle circles against your back. “Rough day?” he asked softly.

You nodded, closing your eyes as you relaxed against him. “Yeah. But it’s better now.”

His arms tightened around you, holding you close as if to shield you from the weight of the world. “You do so much for everyone else,” he murmured. “Let me take care of you tonight.”

You smiled against his chest, the comfort of his presence washing away the exhaustion from your day. “I’d like that,” you whispered.

And as you lay there, wrapped in his arms, you knew that no matter how heavy the burden of your work became, you would always have this—this love, this safety, this male who cherished you beyond words.

Cassian’s hand slipped into yours, his fingers entwining with yours as he held you close. “I’m proud of you,” he whispered, his breath warm against your skin. “You’re stronger than anyone I know.”

You squeezed his hand, your heart full as you whispered back, “Only because I have you by my side.”

[missnxthingg]

𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐒𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐍 - 𝐃𝐄𝐋𝐈𝐂𝐀𝐓𝐄

𝐏𝐀𝐈𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆 - Lando Norris x Actress!Reader (Enemies to Lovers & Fake Dating AU) 𝐒𝐔𝐌𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐘 - Lando Norris really messed up on the first time meeting one of Hollywood’s newest and hottest stars, Y/N L/N. But when his reputation gets too bad, she might be the only one who can save his career from being completely doomed. 𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐃𝐒 - 4.6K | 𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒 - Swearing, mentions of sex, angst 𝐀𝐔𝐓𝐇𝐎𝐑'𝐒 𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐄𝐒 - Very very sorry for the delay! Life was a mess and I needed to get things in order. It's coming to an end 🥺 last one will be the last chapter, but let's enjoy while it lasts. Also, this one is for all of us Lando girlies who love to see him succeed in Interlagos!

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𝐒𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐍 - 𝐈 𝐂𝐀𝐍 𝐃𝐎 𝐈𝐓 𝐖𝐈𝐓𝐇 𝐀 𝐁𝐑𝐎𝐊𝐄𝐍 𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐓

The morning after the fight was a rollercoaster of emotions for Y/N. She woke up feeling cold, the covers kicked to the bottom of the bed, and no one lying next to her. By now, waking up next to Lando felt familiar and too comfortable for her liking. She had grown fond of having him pressed against her every morning, his arms draped around her waist and his nose buried in her neck. It felt weird to not have him next to her when she opened her eyes. And then she remembered why he wasn’t there.

She really wished she could go back to sleep and pretend the previous night hadn’t happened.

Y/N wrapped herself around the covers once again and groaned, feeling almost like a truck ran over her body the previous night. She could blame it on the only margarita she had the night before, but she knew she could only blame the fight she had with Lando. The memories of them confessing their feelings for each other was almost too painful. It was killing them; and maybe it was for the best to call off their “relationship”, if they could even call it that.

As most days in November in Brazil, it was bright and sunny outside, but Y/N was convinced it was for the best if she stayed in for the entire day. Maybe she could catch up on her watching list on Netflix, order junk food and cry her heart out while no one was watching. After all, she was only required to go outside tomorrow, when her PR team asked her to accompany Lando to the paddock during media day.

She managed to not cry just fine so far that morning, but the universe was making it really hard to keep it together. If the emotions weren’t enough, Y/N found out that day that she was nominated for an Emmy Award. It was all over social media, with everyone congratulating her and posting clips of her performance on her latest show. Her phone was blowing up with calls and texts, but she didn’t have the energy to celebrate it.

Suddenly, it all felt too lonely. Y/N had just acquired the biggest conquest of her career, one that she has dreamed of her entire life, and she had no one to celebrate it with. The person she wanted to celebrate with the most was nowhere to be seen. So she cried alone in that hotel room, because there was nothing more she could do. She should’ve been out there celebrating that conquest, but she was weeping for the loss of Lando Norris, of all people in the world.

He wasn’t having the best days himself. After she left, Lando couldn’t bring himself to fall asleep even if he wanted to. He could only think about Y/N leaving their room crying after saying she didn’t trust him; after telling it all went wrong because he could only think about himself. All the work he did to try getting to her heart gone to waste, only because he forgot to apologize. 

After a couple of hours after finally getting some sleep, Lando was woken up by knocks on his door. Max had come for him after he didn’t answer his phone for the entire morning. His best friend understood what happened almost immediately when he opened the door, his eyes blood shot from crying too much. Lando sighed before crying more, feeling completely powerless with the situation he was trapped in.

“I fucked up”, Lando admitted, completely defeated. “And fuck, I love her so much. But she’s gone”.

Max tried to cheer him up, attempting to get the pieces back together before he was required to be on track, talking to countless journalists about his job. Lando didn’t want to talk about anything with anyone at that moment, only to Y/N if he could. In the end, with all the suffering he was going through, she was the only person he wanted to talk with to make it better.

“It’s not her fault. It’s my fault. All me. I’m always the problem”, he thought, all day. Everybody knows that Lando can get himself down a self depreciation hole, but now he actually knows it was all entirely his fault. So it was a little harder to get him out of there.

He heard of her Emmy nomination later that day, while they were waiting for breakfast at a bakery. Lando felt a boast of energy in his body, feeling so proud of his girl’s achievement. But when he remembered she didn’t want him there to celebrate it with her, he felt sad once again. He had to retreat back to his hotel room, because it was too painful to pretend nothing had happened while he was outside. People were starting to recognize him, and they could all see the sadness painted all over his face. He couldn’t do it anymore.

The first time Y/N and Lando met again after the fight was on the Thursday morning, as they were waiting for a car to pick them up at the hotel to drive them to the track. He felt uneasy to be around her, not getting to exchange a single world to her. She had grown into his best friend over the past couple of months, him always wanting to share everything with her all the time. So when she avoided his eyes like the plague, it hurt him too much.

Still, he wasn’t one to give up so easily. Lando approached her as she was distracted and said what he was dying to say the entire day. “Congratulations on your Emmy nomination. I’m very proud of you”, he kept his voice low, almost as if he was afraid to say those words. Y/N was looking away from him, but her eyes met his once she heard the words. It was as if she was trying to figure out if it was a figure of her imagination or if he was really saying it to her.

He finally got to see how bad she was as well. Lando knew her like the palm of his hand by then, so he could see that she was suffering too. But he saw a little bit of the light come back to her eyes with his words. But as much as she wanted to throw her arms around him and give him the tightest hug, she knew she had to be tough. So she toughened up and gave him the coldest response. 

“Thank you”, she nodded, looking the other way the second after. If Y/N stared into his eyes for too long, she would give into him. Only a few words from him were enough to ignite the fire on her heart once again.

“I would like to talk to you eventually”, he said, still facing only the side of her face. Lando watched her close her eyes and hold her breath. She was trying to not cry again. “If you want to, of course”.

“Not now, Norris”, she walked away without even looking him in the face.

It was hard to pretend everything was fine as they walked together in Interlagos, especially with the whole media surrounding them and ready to fire questions if they noticed something wrong. Luckily, since there was no racing happening, Y/N got to stay buried inside the McLaren motorhome until it was time to go back to the hotel once again.

Everybody noticed something was wrong, especially with the look on Lando’s face. His mood was so down that even Zak Brown noticed it. And judging by how Y/N hid herself in the McLaren hospitality until the whole thing was over, he put two and two together. He tried talking to Norris, but Lando kept assuring everything was fine. No one in the team, specially those who knew the relationship was fake, knew what was going on. How did the lovey-dovey couple go from posting cute pictures on social media to no talking in a couple of days?

Impressively enough, the whole thing that happened between Lando and Y/N didn’t affect his performance at all. He secured P2 in sprint qualifying and maintained the position on the sprint race. And if that wasn’t enough, he got pole position for the main race on Sunday. Yet, he couldn’t feel happy about it enough. None of that seemed to matter, because he couldn’t feel joy at all without Y/N.

He could’ve finished in any position – he could’ve won, for that matter – and he would still feel nothing. It hurt too much to receive nothing but an empty “congratulations” and a lifeless hug, just for the cameras to capture. Lando wanted to punch a wall, and he wanted to punch himself for what he did.

Later that day, when he was back at his hotel room with Max, Lando couldn’t control his crying anymore. He had been excellent at not bursting into tears through the past few days, but it was getting too hard to bottle in the feelings, especially when Y/N’s hands felt cold on his as they walked with fingers laced in public. His best friend had to hug him in order to hold him up and not crumble to the floor.

“Come on, mate. You need to stop crying and go get some rest for tomorrow”, Max pleaded, now having Lando sit down in his bed. “I know this whole thing is hard, but I can’t stand to see you this sad when you should be celebrating the perfect weekend you’re having”.

“I think I lost the love of my life, Max. So of course I’m crying”, Lando wiped off his tears, but they kept streaming from his eyes. “I can’t feel happy without her. She’s everything to me, and knowing I fucked her up makes me feel so stupid. I’m so fucking stupid to not apologize to her.  I did everything, but forgot the most important part of it all”.

“Have you tried apologizing again?”, Max asked and Lando nodded.

“I said I wanted to talk to her whenever she was up to talking, but she ignored me”, Lando sighed, throwing his back against the bed. “I would do anything to go back in time and fix this”.

“You don’t need to go back in time to fix this”, Max said. “Look, mate, she has admitted having feelings for you, right? So find the right words, put your pride aside and get her back”.

“You don’t know her. She is as hard-headed as I am. No simple apologize will make her forget the dickhead that I am”, Lando said. “And maybe I really don’t deserve her. She needs someone who has never treated her less than the amazing person that she is”.

“Lan…”, Max tried talking again, but his friend needed to vent more than hearing more advices.

“I would do anything to see her happy again, you know? It’s even worse to know she’s suffering too, because I can never get out of my head that it’s my fault. And I could make her so happy if she gave me another chance. I just know it”.

“I’m not the one who’s supposed to be hearing those words. Talk to her, tell her everything bottle inside you. This time, remember what I said: find the right words. And if it doesn’t work out, well… you already have nothing. You have to at least try”.

Lando went to sleep that night with Max’s words in his head. Months ago, he vowed he would do anything to make Y/N trust him, and he’s yet to try everything in his sleeves. There’s still one more chance, and he would take all the chances he had to have Y/N back.

When Sunday morning came around, Y/N felt almost hungover with the exhaustion from that week. She dragged herself out of bed for the fifth time that week and put on a sundress to enjoy the nice and warm weather outside. Then after breakfast, she waited at the meeting place in the hotel to get to the paddock, ready to put on her best acting and pretend everything was alright. Today would be crucial, because all the eyes would be on her and Lando through the main event of the weekend.

Through the night, before he fell asleep, Lando thought of a thousand ways to get Y/N to talk to him. And if she was finally going to listen to him, he knew what to say. But all his plans were lost when he saw her standing at the hotel lobby, waiting for the car to take them to the track. He thought of a lot of ways to approach her, but he simply rushed into her encounter. And as if their eyes were magnets, she turned to look at him just a few seconds before the collision. Before she could protest, Lando had her engulfed by his body.

She was taken by surprise with the action, but she was even more surprised to how her body reacted to it. Y/N immediately melted into his touch and let her arms around his shoulder, feeling her chest burning into flames and feeling easy to have him so close. She buried her face in his neck and let all the tears she was holding in for days finally fall in relief.

“I’m so sorry about everything”, he whispered in her ear, holding her a little tighter. “I have so much to apologize to you and the right words to say everything, but so little time right now. I don’t want to go one more second without talking to you, because it's been too much for me. I miss you, Y/N”.

“Lando”, she leaned back and looked between his eyes. Y/N could see how this entire thing has impacted him as well, and it hurt to see him hurt too. So she softly ran one of her thumbs though his cheek and smiled, tired of fighting.

“Y/N”, he encouraged, still too nervous with her response. But he felt a little better to see the smile on her lips once again.

 “Go in that car and win this race. For me”, she held his face between her hands and squeezed it carefully, assuring him that they were okay, at least for now. Lando was so happy that he pulled her back to the hug.

“For you, anything”, he kissed her forehead, knowing a proper kiss would be too far. “I promise that after the race, I have so much to talk to you about”.

“Don’t worry about it now, okay?”, she searched for his hands and gave it a squeeze. “We’ll talk later”.

Lando couldn’t let go off Y/N after that. They still were very quiet around each other, but it was a relief to have her hands laced with his all the time. Even better to have his arms wrapped around her as they cuddled in his driver’s room during his break. And you can bet he felt amazing when she pressed a kiss to his cheek before helping put on his balaclava.

“Good luck, Lan”, she whispered in his ear as he pulled him for a hug. “I trust you”.

And with the words he has been waiting for months to hear, Lando went into his car with the boost of confidence he needed. So far, he hadn’t won a race in Formula 1, but he had been so close for a lot of weekends. Always P2, never the winner. But now he had the confidence who could make him pass anyone in front of him. He was going to win for Y/N, just because she asked him to. So when he crossed the chequered flag before any other driver, he felt his entire life flash right in front of his eyes. Every sweat and tears dropped for this moment, who had been a long time coming. All these years had finally paid off.

Once he parked the car, everything moved in slow motion for him. The mechanics pulling him in for a hug, and all the other drivers who came to congratulate him as well. It could be a scene taken out of a film, quite easily. And when Lando saw Y/N standing right next to Zak Brown behind the barricade, he could feel his heart at his mouth. She was drowning in proud tears, applauding him with all of her strength. So he didn’t care about anyone else who was calling his name; he simply approached her and gave her the biggest kiss they ever shared. 

It’s been only a couple of days since he had last kissed them, but Lando missed her lips as if it had been a year since he last did it. And with that, he felt a weight being lifted off his shoulders, knowing everything was finally alright. His reputation was saved, he had a race win, and he had his favourite girl right there with him. It couldn’t get better than that.

Lando chased her lips once she tried to break off the kiss, not wanting to let go off her yet. But she managed to separate them between giggles. “My P1. I’m so proud of you, Lan, congratulations!”

“I love you”, he mumbled against her lips. “I love you so fucking much”.

Y/N didn’t say it back right at that moment, because there’s still a lot that needed to be said between them before those three words. But she kissed him again, and it said it all. She didn't have to say she loves him because Lando knew it. Looking into her eyes, tasting her on his lips, he knew she felt the same. So he didn’t care about getting no response, because he knew it all in his heart.

“I’ll be back in the blink of an eye. I promise you”, Lando pressed another quick peck to her lips before proceeding with everything he’s required to after the race.

Lando stood on the tallest step of the podium and raised his trophy as high as he could. He splashed his champagne bottle to make a mess on everyone, spotting Y/N on the ground and spraying the liquid far enough to reach her downstairs. He was glowing, and anyone could see that. It showed through the pictures, the interviews, the small talks with people from his team. McLaren made sure the debrief was short so they could all go celebrating the moment that has been a long time coming.

He was ready to party, but there was one more thing left to do.

“You stink of champagne”, Y/N was giggling between his arms. He was spinning her around as they walked into his hotel room, finally having some time along after the race. Nothing could kill the big smile he had stamped on his face.

“Smell it. It’s Chanel”, he joked, pulling Y/N for another kiss. Lando had her pressed against the door once it was close, and it felt too good to have his breath taken away once again by her kisses. He wanted to touch her everywhere just to know she was really there, but once his hands darted under her dress, she stopped him there.

“Not now, Lan. We still have a lot to talk before all of this”, she broke off the kiss, and he agreed with a nod. Suddenly, he was nervous once again, knowing the talk they needed to have had the potential to fix or fuck everything. “Hey, where’s that big smile you were giving me before? I miss it”.

“It is terrified of losing you”, he admitted, making Y/N’s eyes soften for him. She rubbed her thumbs on his cheeks and pouted, making him open a small grin once again. “But you’re right, we need to talk”.

“We don’t need to do this right now, Lando”, she said as he pulled her to sit in bed. He cut her before she said anything else.

“But I want to”, he said, pulling her hands to entwine with his. “Listen, I don’t think any amount of words can fix what I did to you in the past, but I'm very, very sorry. For every bad thing I said about you and every time I mistreated you. Y/N, you never deserved to hear those words from anyone, and I'm sorry I took too long to realize that”.

Y/N nodded and waited quietly while listening to what he had to say. But she could tell that he was nervous, so she encouraged him by rubbing her thumbs on the back of his hand. Lando looked down and smiled at the gesture. It showed how much she cared about him, even though he keeps fucking her up.

“You jumped into this crazy idea just to help me in the blink of an eye, and I never showed you gratitude. Even when I didn’t deserve, you were kind, and you took care of me. And I kept breaking your heart over and over again”, he admitted. “And I regret all of that. I'm so sorry, and I promise you, I'll change”.

“You already have changed”, she ran her fingers through his curls and looked between his eyes. “I know you have, Lando, or else I wouldn't have opened up to you. I just couldn’t bring myself to believe that it was really happening. So I tried to shield myself as much as I could from falling in love with you”.

Lando nodded, a little sad to know that he hurt this relationship so much that she tried not to feel anything for him. But it was nice knowing she felt the same all along, even though they needed some healing.

“And I know you're not the idiot you used to be with me. I understand that you changed and, for you, I would do anything. I would do it all again if I had too”.

“I'm sorry for being so selfish. I was so busy thinking about myself that I forgot how much I had hurt you in the past. I forgot to apologize, and I thought that giving you flowers and kisses would be enough to mend a broken relationship from the start. I was willing to do anything to make you trust me that I forgot the most important part of it all”.

“You understand my point, right?”, she asked, and he agreed with his head. “You showed me that you’re someone worthy of loving, but I just couldn’t trust you at all, because you never showed regret. But now, looking you in the eye, I know that you truly are sorry”.

“I regret every bad word I ever said about you”, he assured. “I think I made my point very clear, but I want to assure you that this thing we have, with sex and the ‘enemies with benefits’, was never just that for me. I would always have that tingle in my heart whenever I was intimate with you and with all the little nice interactions we had, my ice heart started melting for you”.

“Trust me, I know the feeling”, she assured him between giggles. “I also have to apologize to you. The insults weren’t one-sided. And I know you might think it’s all your fault now, but we both know I was a bitch to you as well. So to start in the right place, I have to say, I’m sorry too”.

“Well… I deserved it”, he shrugged, hanging his head down, but Y/N softly brought it up by taking it between her hands.

“No, you didn’t, Lando. You filled me with compliments, and now it’s your turn to take them”, she said. “You also have the kindest heart in the world. You take care of people, and you’re always the energy in the room. You’ve taken care of me on times I needed, and you brought light into my days. You taught me the purest form of love. You make me laugh, and you make me feel like a princess whenever I feel like I'm a monster. You're a good person, Lando. So if anyone is a bitch to you, they better apologize”.

“I used to be so scare of love, but you make it so easy”, Lando looked at her with adoration in his eyes, feeling so great to have his face between her hands. “I love you so much”.

She smiled at him, knowing for sure that now it was safe to say it back. With her eyes filled with tears, she admitted: “I love you so much too, Norris”. 

Y/N pulled him for a sweet kiss, finally pouring all the feelings she had for him into her actions. And he savoured every single second of finally having his dream girl all to myself. Lando slipped his arms around her waist and pulled her even closer.

“I thought I had lost you”, he whispered against her lips, feeling his eyes welling up with tears of relief. He felt it all too hard in his chest. “I'm so glad you're here with me”.

“Yeah, I thought we were doomed”, she admitted too, lacing their fingers together and giving his hand a squeeze. “But love always finds a way”.

“For you, I'll hang the stars in the sky, only to bring them back down if you want them back”, he confessed, now pulling her face between his hands. “I hope we can finally stop with the PR thing, or the friends with benefits thing, or whatever other stupid label between us, and properly be a couple”.

She giggled with him and nodded in agreement. “I want it all with you, Lan. You and me, to the end of times”.

“Forever, my love”, he pulled her for a hug and pressed countless kisses to the top of her head. “Also, now that you’re finally talking to me, congratulations again on your Emmy nomination. I’ve never been so proud of you”, he poked her sides and she laughed with his actions.

“Thank you, love”, she kissed his nose, making him blush a little.

“I’ll never get enough of praising you for this. I was so happy when I heard the news. I knew you were extraordinary, and it was just a matter of time until they recognized it”, he affirmed. “I almost exploded for not getting to celebrate it with you”.

“To be fair, I celebrated it crying alone in my room”, she confessed between laughs. Lando's heart faltered at the confession and his smile dropped. Y/N deserved a proper celebration to this incredible achievement in her career.

“You're kidding, right? So we have three things to celebrate tonight”, he said, making Y/N frown in confusion.

 “What's the third thing to celebrate?”

“My grand prix win, your nomination and our love, now very much official”, he cracked a smile, making her laugh with his statement. Y/N just had to pull him for another hug and lots of cheek kisses.

“You’re so adorable”.

“Come on, let’s get ready. We have a party to go to”.

As she watched him waltz into the bathroom for a shower, all smiley and happy, Y/N felt her heart lighter again. Everything was exactly where she wished for it to be, and she could finally enjoy it all with him. Love is weird, and sometimes it blossoms in places you would never expect. But it’s good to know you’re loved back, especially by someone as amazing as Lando. In the end, love always makes it right.

⋘ 𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐯𝐢𝐨𝐮𝐬 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 // 𝐧𝐞𝐱𝐭 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 ⋙

⤳ 𝐚𝐝𝐝 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭

𝐋𝐀𝐍𝐃𝐎 𝐍𝐎𝐑𝐑𝐈𝐒 𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓 - @celestialams @lizaschronicles @kapsylia @igotnorrrizz @hiireadstuff @bishhhitsaurion @mrsmaybank13 @bborra @sltwins @riccdannyf1 @67-angelofthelordme-67 @ctrlyomomma @lan4cha16 @alltoomaples @ellen3101 @hellyesjaehyun @tastebaldwin @sweate-r-weathe-r @carmenita122 @m0cha-bunny @lqvesoph @itscrzy @fangirlvibez @poppyflower-22 @livelovesports @logischeroktopus @happy-jj @saturnbloom77 @cmleitora @formulaal @secretgal66 @taisferrari-blog @sunsshinesunny @eclipsedcherry @tems13 @readingbringsjoy @naanibubbletimmispeach @kenzeyeballs @alilcloudy @architect-2015 @tillyt04 @eringaitskill @honeyhatty12 @dreamercrowd @demig0d0fapollo @mxmtewnz @whatamidoingwithmylife-ramdom @beyond-the-ashes @ijustgomessitupx @floraav @laiba26mindflay3r @books0fever @marialovesf1 @sltwins @ourteenagetragedy @katieschry1 @loveofmylife12 @diaa-20 @urfavsgf @chilisandmilk @elleeeee21 @likedbygaslyy @notturlover @c-losur3 @brizzy-xo @gorgrussell @ellasaddiction2 @morketheduck @kravitzwhore @darkacademicvibes @jenna123456789 @crispymcniall @minkyungseokie @theovalentine @arsyao @phantomxoxo @noobmaster6931 @ohlahlaa @c0rpsecore @rafegirly @darleneslane @annalisenelson @nataliambc @amorydsmt @slytherinholland

crossed means i can't tag you! dm me and maybe we can get it fixed

[an-na-ko]

I'm so sorry for your loss. I lost my cat of 16 years a few weeks ago. He was a stray that gradually became OK with being a house cat, and he was so loved. I hadn't been able to cry for him (my meds make crying a near impossible thing) until I read your comic. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

(I hope you don't mind a masterpost of replies! I know pet loss is extremely difficult for a lot of people, and I didn't want to fill up people's dashes with each reply, but know that each message means so much to me. We all love in such profound ways and losing our little companions hurts to a degree that is immeasurable.)

For the anons above, thank you for such a heartfelt message! One of the things that helped me through the worst of my grief was seeing other people who talked about their pet loss too. It made me feel so much less alone, especially in thoughts that echoed mine, but it also helped me see things in perspectives I've never considered.

I posted this comic in hopes that someone out there who needed it would feel seen and understood, and that it would maybe help process their loss. So it really means a lot to me to see that my comic has helped, in whatever way it could. I'm so sorry that we all understand this feeling, but I hope you never feel alone in missing the little lives that mean so much to you.

For anon above, I can't imagine how difficult that is. Lyra was a surrender, but it was very obvious from how well-loved, affectionate, and well-looked-after she was that her previous family had loved her.

I hope you don't feel like you failed your girl; there are circumstances that no one can control no matter what. Cats (and most pets in general) have an amazing ability that, despite language barriers, seem to know how much you love them, just as easily as we know how much they love us even if they can't say it. Your girl knows you love her. I don't fully know her circumstances or yours, but I truly hope you find that closure. 🫂

I haven't met a lot of people with cats named Lyra! I hope it didn't bother you too much to read such a painful comic about a cat with the same name, haha. I hope your little Lyra is healthy and happy, and please give her a little kiss for me! 🤍

thank you anons for reading my comic despite the heavy content, for connecting with it the way you did, and for the kind words! 🫂 I truly wasn't sure if anyone would want to read such a painful, raw comic about loss, but these messages really brighten my day. I hope your days are bright as well.

[leggerefiore]

Consider this: Vampire N

He wasn’t born a vampire but was turned into one when he was old enough

I guess it's vampril lmao

cw: vampires

🌿Vampire N👑

🟢 He had not been given much of an option for his transformation. His childhood was spent in the forest, after all. Youthful days spent languidly with wild pokemon. He understood them, and they in turn him. Yet, that was all to change after Ghetsis had taken him in. It was obvious due to the pokemon's reactions around him that Ghetsis was clearly something otherworldly. Though, in his childhood naïveté, it was far too easy to accept the man who offered him a place to be and a role in this world. This, and much more, was offered to him in exchange for one day becoming like the imposing man. N was truly too young to really grasp what all that entailed, so he agreed.

🟢 The green-haired man was turned soon after he has been crowned the King of Team Plasma. The experience was anything but pleasant, but it was a part of his agreement with his adopted father. Vampirism was truly something he quickly came to hate. Being unable to enjoy the sun was a cruel fate and bound to prey upon other living creatures for sustenance was a painful experience. Granted, Ghetsis offered him more than willing people to feed on, but his morals simply felt that this was awful. Then, the push for the pokemon human liberation movement was truly something messy. He felt determined in the idea that humans and pokemon should not be together, yet his transformation left him lost and desperate for something else.

🟢 He felt odd as he considered his new traits. Eerie blue eyes that shined within darkness, sharpened canines that could easily pierce even his mouth, and the feeling of just being something unearthly. His body felt simply different that it had. Colder and emptier, yet more powerful and terrifying. N desperately missed the warmth of his own body. His newfound strength had also been distressing to manage. The pokemon he communicated with and cared for, he felt scared that he would accidentally injure. Ghetsis had claimed it was important for his role, but he truly did not understand.

🟢 It was a cloudy day which he spent listening to one of Ghetsis's speeches that led to a chance meeting. A meeting that called to him in a strange sense of fate. One person within the crowd had stood out to him immensely. N felt at a lost for words as he wandered to you after the crowd had dispersed. Then, he heard your pokemon speak to him. He felt confused but opted to challenge you instead. Everything left him more bewildered, yet his beliefs still remained firm. Though, this was far from the last time you encountered each other. Each passing chance drew him more into you yet terrified by your resolve.

🟢 The time at the Ferris Wheel had truly brought his feelings out. Being so close to in such a small space… He understood that your blood was what called to him, and resisting was simply difficult. Admitting the truth to you was haunting, but relieving. You seemed unsurprised to, by both his admission of being the King of Team Plasma and a vampire. Rather, something blossomed between you both. You finding him in a moment of weakness within Chargestone Cave and offering him your wrist made him feel mortified. By the end of everything, when N stood across from you in his castle, he grasped the feelings that gripped him. He wanted you at his side, no matter what. His terror when Ghetsis had rushed in to take you down almost brought out something inside him to protect you, despite his sadness over his loss.

🟢 Within Ghetsis's enraged yells, an explanation to all his feelings had come out. An annoyance that N had found something that he should not have and that you had ruined everything. He felt shocked at the words, but you still had defeated the man he had called his father. With him defeated, people rushed in. An urge to rethink things and find himself had overcome him as he stared at the legendary dragon. When you offered to join him, he simply could not tell you no.

He never offers to turn you, finding this existence a curse. While you may not mind him feeding on you, the idea of causing others pain bothers him endlessly. Though, if you ask yourself, he may find himself willing to discuss.

[w8lkers]

★ | freak

carl grimes x fem!reader

note : not my best writing, but i liked the concept :P does not follow the canon.

warnings : the insult “freak”

new outsiders were recently welcomed into the community of alexandria. a group of outsiders, consisting of seven people in total. to carl, one of them was more noticeable than the rest. it was a girl and she also appeared to be missing an eye. that’s what carl assumed anyways, why else would someone wear a bandana over half their face?

he was shocked that her first words to him were “what are you staring at, freak”.

hearing that question almost stunned him into silence. almost.

all he could possibly muster up was an awkward sounding, “um- what?”. by the heat on his face, he could tell that there was an embarrassing amount of red on his face. this was far from his best first impression.

carl avoided her from then on, realising she might’ve needed some space to adjust to alexandria. maybe he could’ve stared at her less… but he couldn’t help but feel a bit offended by their first encounter, it left a sour taste left in his mouth every time he thought about it. it was both a humiliating and upsetting experience for carl. he didn’t mean to stare at her, he just couldn’t help be a little curious. the only person carl ever saw without an eye was the governor, the reason he refused to wear anything other than a bandage over his eye.

as the other members of the group got more acquainted with alexandria, carl was able to learn more about her - not from her directly of course, but from the other members of her group. he learnt her name was y/n. it was a pretty name, he thought so at least. carl also learnt that she lost her mother recently. that information had him awake for a couple nights, unable to sleep at the recurring thoughts of his own mother’s death. carl understood that pain.

he was slowly understanding why she was so hostile to him. when carl lost his mom, it consumed him. every waking minute was spent hearing her screams on a torturous loop in his mind. that kind of loss makes a person angry at the world and hungry for revenge, sometimes people become blinded by it. he knows he’s had his fair share of moments that he wished he could forget.

there was still the question on how to approach y/n. despite her appalling first impression, he was still curious enough to want to talk to her and clearly observing her from afar was the wrong way to go about it. carl went through multiple different scenarios in his mind, all the different ways he could approach her. more sleepless nights burdened carl’s evenings as he spent them debating with himself over what to say.

one day, he became fed up with thinking about it. his lack of sleep was beginning to show through some passive aggressive comments that rick certainly did not appreciate.

carl marched up to y/n, who was sat on the porch of the house her group had been given. unfortunately, his confidence dissipated the moment he met her eye.

“um-.. i-“ he barely got anything out before y/n interrupted him. she blurted out a question, an uncomfortable expression across her face.

“how did you lose your eye?”

it took carl a few seconds to gather his composure. yet again, another interaction with her that has taken an unexpected turn. at least she didn’t call him a freak this time.

“i got shot.” he doesn’t know what else to say, but he purposefully leaves out anymore detail. it wouldn’t be a good look for alexandria if he said he was shot by an.. ex-resident. there’s an awkward pause and the two just staring at each other. carl can tell there’s something else she wants to ask, but he almost doesn’t want to ask in case she insults him again. he’s rather have some of his dignity intact at the end of their interaction.

it takes y/n an almost unbearable amount of silence to ask, “do you have any spare bandages?”

“um.. yeah, but you could go to the infirmary, we have supplies here- i can show you how to get there if you want?” he’s mostly confused by the question and seeing her wrap her arms around herself in an almost defensive manner furthered his confusion.

“nice try. i’m not leaving the house empty, so someone can come and snoop through our stuff.”

some people took longer to trust alexandria, he understood her current mindset. hell, he’d been there himself.

“look, no one here is after you. it’s not as bad as you think it is and the people here aren’t going to hurt you, if you just give this place more of a chance-“ interrupted yet again.

“i’ve heard this speech from almost everyone here, i don’t need to hear it again.” she was annoyed. this wasn’t going as well as carl wanted it to.

“sorry..” carl mumbles, looking down at the ground in embarrassment. he looks back at y/n and she’s still looking at him. it was slightly unnerving, carl had no idea what to expect from her. another insult, or maybe another personal question.

“i can go get you bandages and come back..?” his voice sounded slightly hesitant, though his offer was genuine.

y/n’s eye narrowed slightly in suspicion, yet carl was unphased by it. he expected her to be guarded, the people she arrived with certainly cautioned the people at alexandria about the attitude she developed.

“really?” she sounded unsure, as if she couldn’t tell if he was being serious.

“sure.. yeah.” he has a small, slightly weary smile on his face that looks more like a wince to y/n.

“okay.” y/n looks down at the ground, her voice becoming quieter as she speaks again, “thank you..”

“yep.” carl spins on his heel and walks away from her, quickening the pace of his walk in the direction of the infirmary. he lets out a deep sigh of relief, it wasn’t going as badly as it could, but he still felt slightly on edge.

“here.” carl tosses each item he retrieved from the infirmary to y/n and she catches them, placing them down in her lap.

“thanks.”

“you’re welcome.” carl smiles hesitantly at her.

“cool..” y/n mumbles, looking down at the roll of bandages, a roll of medical tape and a few plasters.

“have you ever put a bandage over.. your eye? i know i struggled the first few times i had to do it.” carl is reluctant to stop talking to her, strangely she was pleasant to be around when she wasn’t insulting him.

“no, i’ll figure it out though.”

“are you sure? i don’t mind helping you-“

“no.”

“i get it, okay? you don’t trust us yet, but we’re good people. i just want to help, whatever’s under there isn’t anything i haven’t seen before.” carl gains a little more confidence in himself and his words, he stands a bit straighter - he’s determined to prove her wrong about alexandria.

y/n spends a few seconds digesting his words. on the one hand, she could be mean and he’d leave her alone, but on the other hand, she knew she needed help. her mother was the one who tied the bandana over her eye once the wound she had healed. she never took it off after that, but the members of her group began lecturing her about ‘appearances’. the bandana was torn, dirty and even seemed to be charred at some parts.

“come inside.”

carl follows her inside the house. the group had clearly started to decorate their home a bit and carl takes note of the photographs on the wall. unfamiliar faces that he couldn’t recall seeing with the group and he knew why.

“so, how did you lose your eye?” carl asks, following y/n into a bathroom.

“i lost it in a fight with a hungry squirrel.” her voice was nonchalant and carl almost thought she was serious for a second.

he chuckles and stands by the bathroom counter, unravelling the bandages, “you’re funny. how’d you lose it?”

“the world is full of rotten people.”

“not alexandria though, there’s good people here.” carl glances over at y/n as she slowly unties the knot holding the bandana in place around her head. she pulls the fabric away from her face and she turns her head slightly to try shield her eye from carl’s vision.

“you really like it here, huh?” y/n almost sounds bitter about it. he could see why. carl was comfortable, he felt safe in alexandria, but y/n was most likely feeling the opposite.

“yeah, it’s nice here..” carl lifts the bandages and wraps it around y/n’s head to measure the length he would need. using a small pair of scissors he cuts the bandage into a strip long enough to wrap around her head, “i like it at least, it takes some time to get used to though.”

“i got stabbed.. that’s how i lost it.” y/n speaks quietly, looking up at carl once she knew she couldn’t avoid it. he needed to put a plaster over eye, he was going to see it, so she might as well tell the truth.

“people don’t think about it as much as you’d think,” carl speaks as he puts a plaster over her eye, he had seen the damage, “my dad tells me the same thing, but it’s hard to believe someone when their eyes keep going from your eye to.. not your eye.”

y/n laughs. it was more of a chuckle, but it still brought a smile to carl’s face. he didn’t comment about it, but instead revelled in the moment for a few seconds. he worked in silence as he helped y/n secure the bandage over her missing eye. he didn’t mind the silence much, at least now that he knew she didn’t hate him.

“i’m sorry i called you a freak.”

carl smiles at her apology. he didn’t expect her to apologise, but he clearly underestimated her, “it’s water under the bridge.”

he was nice, y/n knew that. it almost felt too nice after the experiences she had with strangers before arriving at alexandria.

“there’s still good people left. i know everything inside you is probably telling you not to trust this place, but it’s safe here.” carl pauses for a few minutes, trying to find the right words to say, “a few people might say some wrong thing, but it’s not on purpose. sometimes.. they just don’t know better, but they mean well...”

“okay.”

“i’m carl by the way.”

“i’m y/n.”

“i know.” the words slip out of carl’s mouth before he can stop himself. the last thing he wanted to do was come across as a creep, “sorry- i just overheard janine talking about you.”

“cool.. thanks for the help.”

carl now has a genuine smile on his face, it didn’t look uncomfortable and forced this time. he nods at her and tidies up the the supplies he used, putting them into the cupboard.

“you know.. there’s gonna be a party.. thing? it’s at the end of the week, but alexandria throws them every time there’s new people..” carl pauses and then continues talking, “it’s not really a party, but the last time they had one here was when me and my group arrived. you should go.”

“i’ll think about it.”

she very obviously didn’t trust him yet, but it seemed like she was trying. her behaviour may come across as abrasive and cold, but it was nothing carl hadn’t seen before. eventually she would have to warm up to him, right?

“cool.”

[alicerosejensen]

ha ha ha! Here's another portion of Papa Leon's headcanons. I hope to write more sad text, but so far only headcanons. This idea has been in my head for almost 10 days.

warning: Leon is a single dad; Loss of wife/girlfriend (S/O) due to zombie bite; The child is female; Leon's daughter is implied to be immune to viruses.

- When Leon found out that he would become a father, he was surprised, excited and very worried.

- He had long lost hope of starting his own family, but he was glad that he met you after China.

- You understood that the child meant the end of your relationship, but you also wanted a family, so having gathered all your will into a fist, you announced that you intended to leave the baby. Plus, you knew he still had feelings for Ada.

- It was painful and scary for you to admit it to him, but you had the strength to tell him about everything that had accumulated in your soul.

- Despite the fact that two people are involved in the conception, Leon does not have to bother with the duties of fatherhood. You yourself are raising YOUR son or daughter.

- This is what you said to him without even letting him utter a word.

- But Leon also wanted this child.

- There was a quarrel between you, the reason for which Leon did not understand. Yes, it will be hard, but he is ready to take responsibility for little Kennedy and whatever you think he loved you very much.

- There could be no question of any separation!Leon wants you to keep the baby, and if you mentioned abortion, he might flare up.

- So you were preparing to become parents together.

- During your pregnancy, Leon was very afraid that something could happen to you. He said the only weight you can carry is your baby. All the time while he was not distracted by work, he helped you get through the difficult time of pregnancy and read various literature himself. He also took some cute pictures of you talking and stroking your belly. He will definitely print them out later.

- You furnished the children's room, bought a crib and a lot of things. You were waiting for the doctor on the ultrasound to tell you the gender of the child.

- And when you did find out, you made Leon a kind of gift.

- The work of a government agent is dangerous and full of surprises, so no one knew about you and your child except for a narrow circle of people. Everything was strictly classified.

- But returning home from work, Leon heard you say that there was a present waiting for him on the table.

- A paper bag with a girly jumpsuit and a photo of an ultrasound with the caption on the back: Baby girl says hello to busy dad!

- Girl! Leon had already decided that she needed extra protection from future bullies.

- Everything was too wonderful that it began to seem like a sweet dream: he will soon become a father who will have the most beautiful daughter in the world. You will give him the family that Leon dreamed of for so long and was deprived of.

- You said there was nothing to worry about. There is still a whole month before the birth and that Leon will still have time to return to his girls, if he does not delay with his super secret mission.

- But Leon should have been worried.

- Because just two days after his departure, another outbreak occurred in the city that B.S.A.A and D.S.O did not have time to prevent. And the world is again flooded with zombies.

- You didn't even feel the first two bites when an infected shop visitor jumped on you while buying water. You pushed the zombie away by tearing it away from your hand, but he immediately knocked you to the floor, biting into your shoulder.

- By some miracle you managed to fight back. The only thing you were worried about was your daughter, so you struggled to your feet, holding your big belly, and got to the car to go home.

-People yelled and pounced on each other, biting into the throats and devouring the flesh. The sounds of an ambulance siren, police, and then shots were heard all over the streets ... You just wanted to get straight home along this crazy road, but you felt a sharp pain in the lower abdomen.

- Should I go straight to the hospital? You felt your seat getting wet, but despite the pain, blood and madness reigning, you still went to the original goal: home. The place where Leon will look for you first.

- You didn't close the door behind you. Tried but grappled with a distraught neighbor, who was also not averse to feasting on your flesh. You had no weapons, you were torn in half by hellish pain and your child... an innocent child should not die before being born. A loud volley of gunfire deafened you as Mrs. Jones stopped attacking you.

- And thick still warm blood stained your face and dress.

- It wasn't Leon. Ada.

- Seeing a lot of bites on you, including on your thigh, there was only one way out: put another bullet in the forehead, but you were pregnant. Ada wanted to find Leon, but found her (former?) friend's pregnant girlfriend.

- Leon would never forgive her for yours and the death of his unborn daughter. But damn it, you've been bitten at least three times already! Ada aimed the cannon and immediately lowered it when she heard pleas for help.

- Reluctantly, she helped you give birth, hoping that the child did not mutate into some kind of monster. But the room was filled with the usual cry of a child.

- But you already succumbed to infection: swollen black veins; pale gray skin and one eye began to become cloudy.

- "Do not tell anyone I ask you ..." - you croaked in a voice that was not your own, smiling terribly when Ada held your daughter. She quickly handed over the umbilical cord. - "Tell Leon she was born after my infection. She's not sick, I know."

- Ada wrapped the baby in swaddling clothes and reached for her gun again. The hand didn't shake when you asked her to kill you until the conversion happened. Ada fired, and you blood from your head splashed on the wall after which you fell to the floor forming a crimson puddle under you. The girl was screaming at the top of her lungs, but what she definitely didn't want was to mess with a newborn baby during an outbreak of the virus.

- But she couldn't leave the baby just like that, despite the fact that the original plan was to give Leon some information.

- All right, Kennedy girl, you better not turn into one of the critters.

- Ada took her away, making something like a sling for convenient carrying of the child, so that in parallel it was possible to defend.

- Maybe Ada should have waited for Leon at home, but it was too dangerous, especially since more infected people ran in somewhere on the ground floor.

- So she escaped through the second floor.

- Taking the penknife with which you fought off the zombies. Before the shooting, you asked Ada to give the knife to her daughter.

- "Plans have changed Leon" - Ada's voice came from Leon's earpiece. - "Meet me somewhere else and I have a little gift for you."

- But Leon's priority was his beloved with a child. What was the horror when he saw that the doors of the house were open wide and the moans of zombies could be heard from there. Leon dealt with them and together with his partner (it was Helena) went up to the second floor. But you weren't in the bedroom or in the bathroom. However, when Helena opened another room and went deep into it, she froze in place, losing all words, looking at your body.

- Helena noticed a few bites, but still your death was not a conversion, but a bullet in the head. Besides, it was clear from the huge traces of blood on your thighs that you had recently given birth. She barely forced her voice to be louder to call Leon, and when he immediately entered the room, the weapon fell out of his hands.

- "She's infected. Was infected…" - Leon wasn't listening. He picked you up in his arms, pressing your dead body to his chest. Now that he couldn't protect his family, he didn't care about anything. His beloved and his daughter, but Helena assured that the baby had clearly been born, because the umbilical cord was cut, and the baby was nowhere to be seen. - "We need to find the baby. Ada said you were supposed to meet at your house, but what if she took your baby?"

- "And put a bullet in his mother's head," Helena did not voice it out loud.

- With difficulty, but Helena gave her partner a goal to move forward despite all his heartbreak. Tears were streaming down Leon's cheeks and all he wanted was to put a bullet in himself. He. Didn't. Protect. You. This house was supposed to be your island of peace and love in which your daughter grew up, but it turned into another piece of hell.

- But he can still save his daughter!

- Therefore, when he met Ada at an abandoned station, his stomach dropped from the baby's crying. Ada was sitting on some old stool, almost like a mother, clutching someone else's child to her. However, without further ado, as soon as Leon broke into something similar to a rest room, she immediately said that he should drop the gun if he did not want to frighten his daughter even more.

- "Miss Kennedy herself" - Leon immediately took his daughter in his arms. Ada immediately realized that Leon knew what had happened at his house. "I'm sorry about what happened to her mother."

-There was an option to lie or tell the truth, given that this child's life depended on it. But Leon didn't seem to be listening anymore, but his partner was…

- "Relax," - but Helena remained tense. "She was born after her mother was bitten. I'm sorry, but I was too busy with the baby to protect your S/O. Of course, her mother did not feed her with her milk. I'm going to have to send you a bill for baby food and babysitting, Leon."

- In the end, Ada left as if nothing had happened, and Leon had to transfer the child to safe hands for the duration of the mission, but his thoughts were still confused.

_____________________________________________

- He had the idea to put his daughter in good hands. So that D/N has a full-fledged family, and not a loser father who could not protect her mother.

- D.S.O got into the situation and gave him a good vacation so that Leon could fix everything and find a kindergarten or a babysitter for his daughter. Actually, Hannigan, on her own initiative, offered several good options.

- If it wasn't for D/N, Leon would have preferred to get drunk in some bar, mourning his beloved, but he had to mess with diapers, baby food and put the baby to bed. And he coped abominably.

- Stomach cramps, newborn stubble with which he had no idea what to do… Leon was driven crazy by constant screams and he hardly slept until Claire came to the rescue.

- Being a free nanny and a good slap on the head for a dumb father, she took it upon herself to calm the D/N, and, to Leon's surprise, the child stopped crying pretty quickly.

- Claire sent Leon to a well-deserved rest and she cleaned up the house and took care of the baby. Leon found them in the evening in the bathtub where the baby was bathing, while Claire was shaking a rattle in front of her, talking funny.

- "She has your eyes. Did you know that?. And she'll grow up with pretty blonde hair."

- He smiled wearily as he watched D/N squeeze Claire's finger with a small hand.

- "I'm thinking of putting her in foster care."

-"You… WHAT?! - if not for the presence of the child, the younger Redfield would have cursed Kennedy with various obscenities. - "You're crazy! While some are risking their lives (a reference to Ethan - I adore him) for the sake of their children, you are like the last coward running away from the duty that has fallen on you! I know it's hard for you! Y/N died, but it's not your fault! No one is to blame for this, especially D/N, and you want to deprive her of her last loved one! Don't you dare do that, Leon! Or I'll put your stupid head in the toilet!

- Despite all the arguments that Claire considered as stupid as possible, she was really ready to dip Kennedy in the toilet, but she remembered about the baby and wrapped the girl in a towel, taking her to the room for later care: baby cream, tummy massage, a clean diaper for sleeping. Claire changed into a D/N ironed bodysuit and gently began rocking in her arms while she was preparing baby formula. Leon watched her actions, once again making sure that he was a shitty father.

- But is it right to give up your child by giving it to strangers? Claire made him think about his decision until he committed a fatal stupidity that he would regret for the rest of his life.

- And Leon has really put that decision aside for now. Thanks to Claire's advice, he began to cope better with the situation and fully blossomed when his baby girl smiled at him for the first time. Maybe she wanted to show her comfort in this way, but Leon literally shone like the brightest star.

- Actually, the older D/N got, the easier it was for him.

- Cartoons really save Papa Leon.

- Leon knows how to tie complicated knots and would also cope with the first pigtails.

- Claire still helps him a lot and they often go for walks in the park together. Being a single father is difficult but real.

- Alas, Claire also devotes herself to TerraSave, so Leon's daughter often stays with a well-tested nanny (Hannigan and Leon took care of this together). Yes, it's a big expense, but Leon has no problems with money.

- Leon buys his baby coloring books, various books, pencils and markers so that she does not get too sad in his absence.

- The new house is littered with all possible toys. D/N loved dinosaurs the most. Leon thought it was a temporary hobby, but all the dolls were quickly forgotten when his baby had an allosaurus given to Claire.

- Now baby Kennedy has a love only for all possible kinds of dinosaurs. Even bed linen and pajamas.

-"This is all temporary," - Leon told himself, handing his daughter a recently purchased toy. This time Velociraptor.

- Good. At least the girl is busy watching some kind of documentary about dinosaurs while her dad calmly cooks dinner.

- And Leon had to learn to cook, because no one else does it for him (maybe sometimes Claire).

- Maybe Leon doesn't always manage to be a good dad, but he tries for the sake of his baby and really scolds himself for thinking that he once wanted to give her to another family.

- Leon is definitely not getting married and D/N will be his only child. He will have one-night stands, but it will never happen at his house. The only woman he really loved was you, but now he only has a daughter left.

- Claire is still only his friend (I only see them as friends, sorry). A friend who helped him get up from his knees when he was depressed by your death and wanted to give up the child.

- Actually, she visits the Kennedy house quite often and can be considered to some extent a mom for D/N.

- Leon does not know that his daughter was born when you were already bitten three times, which is why doctors tell him about the high ESR in the blood D/N. No one understands what's going on because the girl behaves quite normally and feels pretty good.

- Some kind of anomaly. Maybe these indicators persist due to frequent colds?

- Because gradually they decrease, however, never to the norm.

- Frequent trips to the doctor have already become a routine with which he has come to terms. In the end, without noticing that something was wrong with his daughter, these tests were halved.

- When D/N grows up, it will be much easier for him to cope. The Kennedy family cleans the house together, or the Pumpkin (as Leon calls it) helps to cook (chop carrots or stir soup in a saucepan, add a little seasoning, but everything is under strict control). In addition, Leon tries to teach her to be independent, but it is difficult for him to do this because he constantly wants to spoil her so that she is happier.

- Leon keeps all drawings and children's crafts in a special cabinet in his desk. However, there are a couple of drawings on the refrigerator on a magnet.

- He can't always attend children's events where his daughter performs, but he tries to make up for lost time when he returns home.

- Sometimes he falls asleep with his daughter watching TV. When D/N falls asleep, he will take her to bed without waking her up. And be sure to turn on the night light (with a dinosaur).

- Leon doesn't mind if the girl runs to him at night, because she had a terrible dream. Leon knows all about nightmares, so let her stay close and tell some kind stories so that she calms down and falls asleep again.

- Someday D/N will want to know something about his mom, but for Leon this is always a closed topic. He won't tell anything except that you were a wonderful person and loved her very much.

_____________________________________________

And now the teenage period (D/N 13 years old) .

- The topic of mom is forbidden.

- Perhaps due to the frequent absence of her father, the girl has a bit of a rebellious character, but she does nothing to cause problems for her dad.

- On her birthday, D/N found a small box under the door. Thinking that it was Dad who sent the gift, he and Claire quickly started unpacking, but inside there was a rather elegant folding knife that looked very expensive. And a short note: "Your mom asked me to give you this. I think you're old enough for such a gift. Happy birthday, young Miss Kennedy."

- Claire turned pale when she saw a familiar object and a strange note. Leon would never send that. But the girl was thrilled to get something that had to do with her mother.

- Leon did not comment on the gift at all, but he recognized the handwriting on the note. He didn't want to spoil his daughter's mood, especially since he was late for her birthday, but the next questions began to annoy him.

-"Who was she? Also a secret agent? Did she save the world from bad guys? Look what an awesome knife! My mom must have been really cool! Maybe her partner gave me a gift?"

- Leon tried not to get angry, but the fucking knife still made him flare up. He quarreled with his daughter and immediately got a scolding from Claire when D/N ran to room. He understood that you can't be angry with a child who just wants to know something about his mother, but Leon never let go of that situation.

- He definitely needs to apologize to his daughter.

- As an additional gift, Leon, after a long conversation with his pumpkin, will eventually give her your photo. One of the few that he was able to keep.

- And ask not to play with a knife because it's not a toy.

- I think Leon's daughter likes to play guitar and her favorite song is "Wayfaring stranger"

- Therefore, a new guitar (exactly the one she wanted for so long) will be a gift from her beloved dad.

- Dinosaurs are still the most beloved creatures, why can we have a pet dinosaur?

- But in order to finally win his daughter's heart, he takes her to the dinosaur museum on a day off. Of course they will take Claire with them - she has long been an unspoken member of their family.

- And in the evening, the three of them will sit down to watch her favorite movie with a delicious dinner, which they will order from the restaurant at home.

- D/N is more like you - her mother-but her eyes and hair color are from her father.

- You knew that she would grow up beautiful and become even more beautiful with growing up. Before you died, you were sorry that you would never see it.

- Leon is calm when his daughter likes famous guys from these series and movies. However, the cardboard king from some movie that stands next to the bed began to confuse him

- "Come on Leon! Many girls love sugary boys." - Claire laughed, finding it funny. - "Wait until she starts going on real dates."

- Well he has a DSO database for that.

- In fact, Leon finds it soothing when his daughter is in her room playing the guitar while trying to sing at the same time.

- She still has bad blood tests with elevated ESR and leukocytosis, and Leon really doesn't understand what's going on, given that there is no malaise.

- Leon's weapon is always kept in a safe under a combination lock, however, when he forgot it one day on his desk after returning home, D/N wanted to support him in his hands admiring how cool it is but at the same time heavy.

- Of course Leon was scared when he saw his daughter with a gun in her hands and ordered her to put it back immediately.

-"Let me shoot!" - she said when she watched her father put things in the safe. - "I want to be like these guys with guns from movies. There was one Yakuza who had such an awesome gun with a pattern! Da-ad?"

- "No!"

- The password could not be peeped. And the birthday didn't come up either. But D/N got a scolding when she climbed into her father's office without permission, trying to get his gun.

- The restless child does not want to shoot herself or her neighbors at all, she just watches too many militants, believing that shootings are cool.

- Leon doesn't comment on it at all, considering what's going on at his job. But when pumpkin says that she will work with him after she finishes school, she can't stand this long hard look from her father.

- Maybe Leon really should teach her how to shoot and use a knife, but the thought that someday she might need it scares him. It's easier for Leon to keep his daughter in the safest place away from all this virus-parasitological shit.

- But still, after much persuasion, it brings her to the shooting range and even shows you how to hold and shoot correctly.

- Oh, it's a delight! She hit the target a couple of times and already considers herself the best shooter. But Papa Leon still praises her even for these two successful shots.

- "If the apocalypse happens, then I can watch your back!. I will make such a drawing in the form of a poster where we are next to each other against the background of a green world freed from people".

- Leon can't help but smile. This blonde-haired miracle is the only thing that really makes him happy. Therefore, even talking about the apocalypse does not cause anything but laughter.

- And if there's another outbreak, Leon will be Joel saving his Ellie. Even if him have to go against the government.

_____________________________________________

I'm a little sick, I have a lot of debts at the same time, but I like the topic of "father-daughter" relationships so much… Fuck, I also passed the "Last of Us again", and God, like the first one, I'm crying at the moment where Joel saves Ellie (I think he did the right thing and no one will dissuade me from this)

Now I literally want to write and read about "Leon and his daughter". Because this guy would do anything to protect his little pumpkin.

I will definitely make a couple more posts on this topic later. Maybe even a full-fledged fan fiction with an already invented name for his daughter (her name is Lara, yeah).

I love everyone who reads this and he likes it 💖

[lovelyatomicpeace]

Guiding Light

Plot: Steve suddenly lost his father and doesn't know what to do, but luckily y/n is there for him.

Warnings: Sadness, crying, comfort, flashback

A little ff that I created from an idea that came to mind. Enjoy ❤️

As the sun began its slow descent behind the treetops of Hawkins, the air filled with the cool bite of autumn, Y/n ran down the familiar road toward Steve's house. His heart was pounding, not just from sprinting, but from the weight of urgency and grief. The news of her father's sudden death had reached her painfully, like broken glass on a marble floor with which she felt all too intimate.

Steve and his father had never had such a close bond. Their conversations were usually abrupt, punctuated by misunderstandings and the silent tension of unfulfilled expectations. Y/n had watched from afar, every argument and every harsh word exchanged between them etched pain in her heart. She knew Steve needed her now more than ever. As she reached the front steps of Steve's house, she hesitated for a fleeting moment. She could hear the sound of muffled voices inside: friends and family gathered, each carrying the weight of their grief. But that was the last thing he thought about as he stretched toward the doorbell. She was not there for pleasantries; she was there to be his anchor. The door opened and there appeared Steve, disheveled and pale, his brown eyes wide and glassy.

Before she could even formulate a greeting, he collapsed in her arms, the dam breaking as he sobbed into her shoulder. It was the kind of heartbreak that echoed in the pit of her stomach; she held him tighter, feeling his tears against her neck, the tremors of loss shaking them both.

"I can't..." he gasped between breaths.

Y/N tightened his grip, cradling him as he cried. "It's okay, Steve. I'm here," he whispered, in a calm voice as if he could channel his pain through words.

The usually cavernous house was now full of people: friends and familiar faces were scattered, hushed whispers mingled with the subdued background of soft music coming from the living room. Lucas sat with Max, their usual quarrels absent. Dustin was solemn, preoccupied with scraping a nonexistent splinter in the sofa. Robin and Nancy clutched each other, offering silent support, while Jonathan and Will exchanged glances that said much about the pain they shared. Mike sat off to the side, fingers intertwined with El's, both looking lost. As the commotion hummed slightly behind her, Y/N guided Steve into the living room, away from prying eyes. The light filtering through the drawn curtains cast shadows but also warmth; it felt like a cocoon, a safe space in which to share his vulnerabilities. Gently, she led him to the couch, where they sank together, the outside world temporarily forgotten: one of his knees resting on the floor as he bent over her. She ran her fingers through his hair, reassuring him, rooting him on.

"I couldn't even say goodbye to him," Steve said in a choked voice, wiping away tears with the back of his hand. "We had to make things right-it was my last chance, and I blew it."

"You didn't ruin anything, Steve," Y/N reassured him, in a firm voice. "You loved him, even with all the hard things. That's all that matters now."

"Yes, but it wasn't enough," he murmured, lowering his gaze to the floor. "He never understood me. My whole life has been a struggle for his approval that I never got."

"Sometimes people are just ... complicated. Your relationship was not easy, but you still meant a lot to him. You were his son," Y/N replied softly. "You showed him love in the ways you could."

"Why did he have to be such a jerk to me?" he croaked, wiping tears from her face with the back of her hand. "He was so consumed with his life that he never stopped to listen ... to understand anything about it." Y/n nodded, her heart aching. She had witnessed Steve's struggles, his attempts to gain acceptance and recognition from a father who had inadvertently rejected him. The loss of a parent was complex enough, but when mixed with unresolved feelings, it turned into something even more bitter.

Steve stood in front of her, lost, remembering his last argument with his dad:

It was one of those stormy afternoons when the thunder rumbling overhead echoed the tensions brewing in the Harrington mansion. A heavy downpour painted its chaos against the large windows, mirroring the struggle that was brewing between Steve and his father. The opulent surroundings of the estate looked like a gilded prison. Steve stood defiantly in the spacious living room, his muscles tense with anger.

"Dad, I'm not going to trade school! You can't make me!" shouted Steve, the resolve in his voice trembling to the edge of desperation.

His father, Robert, sat behind a polished mahogany desk, his fingers intertwined under his chin. The man was the epitome of success, a tycoon respected and feared in equal measure. "I can and I will, Steven. You don't even want to follow in my footsteps. You want to waste your life chasing ... what? You want still to work for a stupid video store? You're not cut out for that."

"I'm not cut out for it either!" spat Steve, gesturing to the room full of memorabilia, awards and an expectation he couldn't stand. "I hate your idea of success. You want me to be your perfect little clone, and I won't do it! I refuse to be part of your empire!"

Robert's eyes squinted, his voice deceptively calm. "There are choices in life that shape your future, Steve. You think you have it all figured out, but you're just a child playing at adulthood. I have sacrificed so much for this family; the least you can do is live up to the legacy."

"Sacrifice?" Steve's voice cracked, the weight of lost years overwhelming him. "You never sacrificed anything for me! You were too busy building your empire to notice me!"

"Do you think this is easy? Do you have any idea how hard I worked?" retorted Robert, rising from his chair, anger exploding. "Look at you, look at what you are! A failure! You're a disappointment!"

Disappointment. The word hung in the air, choking, as if it had just settled in Steve's chest. That word shattered something deep inside him, igniting a longing for freedom he had never known existed.

"That's not true!" he cried back, hot tears filling his eyes. "You've never even tried to understand me. All you care about is your image, your successes! I don't want any of that!"

"I am your father! I'm trying to prepare you for life, and this is what you do? You throw everything away for ... you for nothing?"

Steve seethed with anger and pain, the mix of emotions contending inside him until he could take no more. "You know what? Maybe I don't need you at all!" he shouted before running from the room, tears streaming freely down his cheeks.

As he left the mansion, the storm was equal to the turmoil in his heart. He rushed out into the rain, letting the deluge wash over him. He could not face his father, the anger swirling in his chest was a tangible entity demanding to be released. It felt like the beginning of the end, a farewell to a future he had not chosen...

Suddenly y/n's hand on his cheek brings him back to reality. Steve looked up, searching her face for answers, something she could not give. "What good is love without understanding?" The question remained there, charging the air with a melancholy that enveloped them like a fog. Silence fell between them, filled only by Steve's occasional quiet sobs. It was then that she reached out her hand, placing it on his knee, a gentle but firm gesture. "I'm not going anywhere, you know that, right? You're not alone in this." Y/N says felt a chill run through her. "It's the only love we have," she said softly, and it's still valid." A faint ghost of a smile ripped through his tears as he wiped his face with the cuffs of his sweater.

"But I don't want you to feel like you have to put on a brave face," she murmured, her heart pounding. "It's okay to be broken. You don't have to go through this alone."

"I feel so lost," he confessed, her voice broken again. "What do I do now?"

"Take it one day at a time," Y/N replied, her heart breaking for him. "You let yourself grieve. You let yourself feel everything: the anger, the sadness, even the joy of memories. And when you're ready, you can start to heal."

Steve looked at her, and for a moment the heaviness lightened, if only a little. "Thank you, Y/N," he said, in a firmer voice. "You always know what to say."

"Not always," he admitted, with a sweet smile on his lips. "Only when it's about you."

"What if I can't get over this?"

Y/N leaned closer, their knees brushing. "You will, Steve. Just like you fought for everything else. You have friends who care about you, who want to help you. Lean on us." He nodded, but uncertainty hovered in his eyes. The truth was stark; he was afraid.

After a few beats, it was his turn to unleash his feelings. "And ... you don't have to pretend with me," she murmured, "about your father or how you feel. This is a safe place, okay?" He inhaled sharply, studying her face. "What if I want to pretend everything is okay?"

"Then we can pretend together."

A moment passed; their gazes met, understanding flowed silently between them. It was a moment of connection that was full of hope, even in the midst of pain. Steve's brown eyes shone with a potential nuance: something unspoken that hovered beautifully in the air between them. They stayed like that for a while: an embrace, a clinging to each other's presence. Outside, the world continued to struggle with the weight of their shared loss, but in those moments, they both began to feel a glimmer of warmth; a reminder that in the deepest despair, the bonds of friendship could shine brightly enough to illuminate the path ahead, even if that path was shrouded in uncertainty.

[nanoa1foryou]

Notes and translations for Johannes' interview on Gogin Kantabaari with Veronica Verho, 30.8.2023, released with video 5.6.2024

"Who do you think is Ylivoimainen as a person?"

Johannes answered the host, Gogi himself. His reasoning was that Gogi had just had a child and was back to work for the first time now. "You have slept 5 minutes per night and you pretend to be interested in our things, so you are ylivoimainen."

If you had to go on a dating show, which one would you go on?

The first thing Johannes threw out was Love Island because they had just talked about it (Veronica hosted it). He stated his reason as getting to go to Spain with Veronica. Gogi then threw out the bachelor as an option, and promptly agreed that most of Finland would be trying to get in if Johannes was the bachelor. Veronica agreed. Johannes gave it a maybe. Then Gogi suggested Married at first sight. Johannes thought it'd be interesting and "What would be the worst that could happen?" Ex on the beach was a hard no, though this sparked some discussion about how silly the behind the scenes might be for those intros where they walk out of the water.

Gogi asked about Kuumaa's insane tour schedule.

Johannes talked a bit about the wild variety of venues and shows, taking for example the difference between playing Ruisrock to playing something like Eura with a couple hundred people and the backstage is a backyard with a bird's nest in it. He said that those small venues can be better sometimes. Johannes also mentioned that in the biggest venues (like 20k people) the volume of people can trigger a bit of a self preservation mode on, to where you can't really think of the people because it's too much. Also going back to Ruisrock, Johannes mentioned a moment he had with Jonttu backstage, trying to grab just a small break from everything going on. He quoted an emotional Jonttu from that moment: "Now there's maybe... quite... quite a lot." This summed up the feeling quite well.

Does it go to your head?

"Wise people have said that it goes to your head for everyone if there is opportunity. But then how that manifests, i don't know." Johannes talked about how he tries to remember that just because they're at the center of attention, they're no more special or important than anyone else. He said he hopes the fame hasn't gone to his head. Johannes also mentioned that not being alone helps. With the band they can call out each other for it.

"Weirdest thing some follower or someone has done?"

Johannes: "As the first thing that comes to my mind... The first thing that comes to my mind is, yesterday I opened a video, where some assumed-man* films themself and then takes off their pants, and so. That was like, I wasn't expecting it. On Instagram it just says someone sent you a video. And in that kind of a scrolling mode you just go 'there's... that. Okay. Hi.' This happened yesterday, so I'm sure something weirder has happened." Gogi: "What would be weirder than that?" Johannes: "I've understood that that is unfortunately common for example for women, that you for example get a lot of dickpics."

*Assumed-man (and assumed-woman) is a common expression in Finland. You don't know someone's exact gender, but for the sake of communication and simplicity you would refer to them as a man/woman.

They played a game where Gogi would read a statement and they'd answer whether it fits them or not.

Gogi: "I often feel that pain of loss. Johannes does?" Johannes: "Have you heard our songs for example?" Also admitted to breaking and entering a public place (an outdoor pool, the same for all of them) Statement was: "You cover your device camera when watching adult entertainment". Johannes answered no, because who cares enough to hack someone's camera for that, especially considering what globally hackers are actually spending their time on. "I'm a drop in the ocean at that point" "I don't (road rage). I think I maybe cause it sometimes." - "No, I have a Vespa, and I assume I have privileges." "I'll just say this. I was on my way here to your bar. Two car lanes that are moving absolutely nowhere. When you just go between them, nothing beats the feeling." Discussion then moved on to farts: "Do you think that in that situation- I've spent 80 days in the summer with them in a closed bus -that I'd want to (smell that)."

Gogi then brought up Johannes' demeanour and appearance (serene hipster from Kallio, in Gogi's words):

When asked how he is when he's angry, Johannes admitted to being annoying and passive aggressive. Johannes also noted that he got the Vespa as early as he could (15), and it was pointless as far as actually needing it goes. He lived across the street from his school, but he would still drive it there just to feel and look cool. He doesn't know where he got the idea to get it from, but that it most likely was an image thing. After this, him and Gogi discussed picking up habits and doing things because they make your life feel like a movie (like having an espresso and a cigarette on a balcony). Johannes said he is very prone to influences on things like that.

And finally, in the happy hour section of the show, the two contestants must come up with the silver lining on bad situations or unpleasant things.

Johannes came up with the silverlining for if you have gonorrhea, you'll be richer for the experience. For erectile dysfunction, he came up with the silver lining that it would certainly push you to self reflect "What is the purpose of an erection in life?" Also, both him and Veronica really really struggled to come up with a singular good thing about the far right (Veronica finally answered that you could write a good song about it). The final bad thing was nuclear weapons, and Johannes' reaction was literally just to turn to Gogi and go "Bro..."

In the end, Johannes lost that competition and pouted about it. As a punishment he had to read the outro card of the show

[auncyen]

8 and 10! For Isat ask thingy!!

8. post-game things I'd like to see lmfao I mainly just want to see the trip that the whole fandom thinks happened BUT a few minor h/cs--

post-game his memory improves. It'll never be great if you compared it to someone else but they're pretty happy with it. It's a combo of Isabeau and Odile trying to help him find ways to better remember things and the group remembering some things for him and kind of easing that mental load. (I remember reading something once about how like. in longtime couples each person kind of specializes in remembering different kinds of things and can prompt each other to remember things relevant to a subject/event by bringing up what they remember and with Siffrin we do see like. some pretty old memories ARE there, they just need to be prompted and then not eaten by the Universe.) ...Also less anxiety.

The world rediscovers astronomy as Bonnie's generation and younger don't associate the subject with the Island. (way way far out obviously.)

If Siffrin settles down with Isabeau, their part of the living arrangement probably gets very cluttered at times with them wanting to keep TONS of things as souvenirs and no longer being limited to what they can carry--which might also lead to frustration at times if Siffrin does end up forgetting where he got something from. Isabeau's probably surprised by this at first and it might even cause conflict if Isabeau tends more toward "things should be organized and in their place", but they could probably figure out some sort of solution. (Maybe they add lots of "pockets" to Siffrin's side--aka a big cubby hole organizer where they can keep all those things on display. Siffrin tries to sort through it when it needs dusting to make sure he still cares about something and that helps reduce "I've forgotten what this is but I have it so it must be important" frustration. Still happens sometimes though.)

10. headcanons about the world--

already gave some of this away in fic but Poteria emphasizes "beauty" pretty heavily. They praise Muses of science and art (and yes, it's definitely borrowing from Greek mythology). Given the science bit it's not always about visual/sensory beauty but there is like. a general sense that what is pleasing is good. (This can at times lead to some messiness in dealing with what isn't pleasing.) Also not all Poterians do this but it's openly acceptable in Poteria to also worship gods/faiths from other countries, since the Muses are seen as like. Praise-worthy for helping them find enjoyment in life, but not omnipotent or anything like that. They're credited with very specific things and that's it.

Countries having varying attitudes toward Sadnesses and the people they spawn from, some very accepting and tolerant or helpful (Vaugarde very much on this end of the spectrum) and others having negative attitudes that pressure people to attempt to hide having a Sadness, which...definitely tends to do more harm than good. (I'm not 100% sure I want to use that attitude for the Island but it is kind of tempting to wonder if the journal is supposed to be understood as a cautionary tale because the clone who perfectly understands the writer's pain turned out to be "the first Sadness" or whatever. Similarly Sadnesses being seen as some sort of twisted, selfish wish, trying to force your own pain on others. ...Again, not very helpful for someone who actually has a Sadness!)

Sadnesses could have originated after the loss of color. This is just springboarding off how negative thinking is usually more a hindrance than a help nowadays but might have been important for an ancestor surviving in the distant past. The loss of colors would have been a huge loss of information, and probably still is (think plants/animals that you recognize as poisonous to eat by color for one easy 'could get you killed' example). This probably caused a lot of upheaval when it happened and you had a better chance of surviving if you were prone to being cautious. Societies eventually adjusted as well as they could but 'no color for u' probably had a huge effect on people's psyches so yeah. just tempting to think Sadnesses might not have even been a thing before that.

[heichou-ackerman]

Texting Levi fluff

Levi hates texting but he likes you. Another modern!AU which I am re-uploading since tumblr was stupid about it

TW: Some slight cussing but nothing MORE

It was rare for Levi to actually utilize his phone for  anything more than just make necessary calls, checking the weather, and keeping up to date with his monthly Tea Box subscription.

Lately, however, he found himself spending more time watching the bright screen on his phone, face scrunched up, as he began to understand the means of what it meant to actually meant to maintain consistent communication.

Unfortunately for him, you seemed to have a knack for coercing him to text you throughout the day no matter how busy he actually was with his actual work or with his own personal chores.

He both liked and hated this about you. Although your apparent clingy behavior was charming at best, it was a bit exhausting for the introverted man to keep up with some of your needs.

Like clockwork, your good morning texts would pop up at almost the exact same time every weekday (he actually began to depend on that more to wake up than his actual alarm). He learned the hard way you really had expectations of him texting you back and in maintaining a conversation with you from morning to night, at least during the days where you both were unable to see each other.

It was a pain in the ass.. Single word responses were insufficient to satisfy your need to drag out his opinion about a variety of things, ranging from your choice of lunch for the day and where he saw himself in ten years. He really didn’t understand why you valued his opinion so much about these things or why it was important for you to know.

>where do you see yourself in 10 years Levi? :)

> I dont know.

>Come on! Do you wanna live in a different city or something like that?

> I see myself being 10 years older

>You suck

He got a bit better over time, unaware of how he began to think a little more in depth about his responses to you. If he was curt and short, you would become upset at him. When it was something more of a slight flirtatious advance, his screen would be filled with heart emojis. He wouldn’t admit it but there was some satisfaction in seeing you reply eagerly to him. A curious feeling but not a bad one.

>cant wait to see your face on the weekend!

>you literally saw me yesterday

>so you dont wanna see me then?

>I didnt say that

>so you are excited to see me too :)

>I didnt say that either

>awe, getting tired of me already I see

>I told you Im not going to respond to anything stupid you say

>You just did! :D

>everything you say is stupid so Im at a loss

He wondered  if you acted this way with anyone else. He supposed, the way you tended to be, that you were equally as warm and inviting to most of your circle. Not to say, he wanted to have this particular ‘treatment’ for himself only, but it genuinely felt like you did dedicate most of the day to stay in touch with him as much as you could.

In the past, Levi would had found this overwhelming. He appreciated his friendships and relationships with others, but he was also someone who valued his privacy, and most people in his semi social circle understood this of him. He would be the type to hang out a Saturday evening and then would be completely out of reach for the rest of the month, which was minimal for him. He was unbothered for most of the time, which to be fair, is the way he preferred it.

Once you and him became an item however, there was a noted disruption in this rather, exclusive lifestyle of his. It wasn't awful but it was something he was not attuned to, so it made things feel awkward during some of these interactions.  Despite his standoffish demeanor and his lack of substance in some of his messages, you still kept at it. You didn't shy away from him or even become too upset when his responses seemed bland or cold. It seemed like you had an understanding of the type of person he was, but you still wanted to simply spend as much time in touch with him as possible. You genuinely craved for his attention and treated it as something important and precious.   And this simple fact made him like you so much. So, he would make an effort.

---

After a long day at his office job, Levi arrived home, throwing his belongings onto his couch, not caring much about things spilling out, and flopping onto his bed, a deep sigh coming out from his nose.   It was a shitty day at the office to say the least, which soured his mood for most of the day. As usual, you made attempts to message him throughout the work day, but he would be lying if he said there was a bare minimum effort at responding back to you. He knew you were probably peeved off at his lack of consistency for today, but he was far too exhausted to really explain himself about the matter.

He closed his eyes for a bit, feeling he might literally drift of to sleep still in his day clothes, when he felt the vibrations from his phone go off in his pocket. He groaned slightly, knowing only one person in the world would message him at such a time. He reached into his pocket to pull it out, squinting at the bright screen to see your name pop up with the following message:

> are you mad at me? :(

Jesus fucking Christ. He knew if he began to entertain the conversation (and no he wasn't mad at you), he would probably be up for another couple of hours trying to reassure you of this fact. He debated to leave it as it was for the sake of being able to go to sleep, but at the risk of you blowing up his phone the entire night.   "Goddammit." He muttered to himself. He sighed heavily, bracing for the worst as he gave into it and began to message you.

>no, long day at work

There, that should be sufficient, right?

Not even five seconds later, he saw those three dots appear, indicating you were messaging him back. He pictured you literally hunched over your phone like some gremlin, texting him rapidly.

>awe, im sorry to hear that. you home now?

Okay, not too bad. It seemed like you were considerate of his situation at the moment. He blinked forcefully, feeling his eyelids begin to droop as he stared at your response on his screen. No, he wouldn't be able to last long like this, he might as well just cut it short.

>yeah im home, super tired, need to sleep.

He hit the send button and set his phone down, allowing his eyes to droop shut, feeling the inbound sleep coming to him. He would literally be able to fall asleep and wake up in the same position the following morning, and for a couple of minutes, it felt as if this would be the case.

And then his phone begins to ring.

His eyes shoot out open as he become startled by his ringtone, and by nature, he immediately picks up the phone, being met with its bright screen.

It was you. Of course it was.

Levi rubbed his hand over his face, muttering curses at you and at the situation. It really didn't even fucking matter at this point if he tried ignoring you. He sighed heavily as he lazily answered, bringing you over to his ear.

"What." He muttered, not even as a question.

He could hear you slightly giggling over the other line, which made him kind of irritated. He told you how tired he was, we’re you really just fucking with him?

"Just wanted to check in to see if you're okay. But I can tell that you are super sleepy." He heard you on the other line.

"Yeah." He replied simply. "I told you I was."

"Sorry. You mentioned you had a hard day at work, I figured you wanted to talk about, buuuut I didn't think you'd be this tired. You usually stay up pretty late, even during your worst days."

Well, you weren't wrong about that. He would usually be a night owl most weekday evenings, entertaining your text shenanigans well off into midnight.

"I'm fine." He iterated, allowing his phone to fall next to his head, close enough to still hear you. He kept his eyes closed, still somewhat attentive to you. "Work was shit but I'm fine. Sleepy."

"Want me to tell you a bed time story?" You asked softly, jokingly of course.

"No. "

"Didn't think you'd want one. Want me to sing you a lullaby?"

"No, fucking weirdo."

“Kidding, kidding. Kinda sucks, but I’d be so down to just do that thing you like me to do to you. If I was there of course.”

He raised a slight eyebrow, eyes narrowing slightly towards his ceiling. “I literally don’t have the energy to talk nasty right now.”

“No!” You exclaimed. “Not that stupid. I meant like, that one night when I was playing with your hair and you fell asleep on my lap.” He hummed in consideration. “Ah, yeah. Maybe. That was nice.” It wasn’t too long ago, but it was another of those exhausting evenings for him, similar to this one. You mindlessly began to run your fingers through his hair, coaxing him to rest on your lap as you minded yourself on your phone. Your fingers were soft and it seemed like they knew exactly which parts of his scalp would respond the best. It was no secret he enjoyed your pampering from time to time, although he would never directly ask you for it. He would always hope you would initiate it however and it seemed as if you had an intuition of when he really needed. This being one of those times.

You chuckled softly on the other line. "Okay, okay, let me leave you be then sleepy head. Can I text you tomorrow then?"

Why the hell are you asking that?

You didn’t need his permission to do so, and its not like you ever asked him for it.

"Why are you asking that?" He asked you bluntly, his voice low.

You stayed quiet for a bit on the other line for a bit, and Levi could feel the hesitation from you.  "Don't know. Just wanted to be a bit considerate."

Considerate? Considerate of what?

He should really go to bed, he thought. But there was something weird about you right now.

"What's with you?" He continued to probe. "You're being weirder than usual."

"Gee, thanks." You respond dramatically. "But nothing is wrong, I just wanna be considerate of, your time lets say."

He sighed loudly enough for you to be able to hear him on the other line. "Okay, I'm too tired to be subtle about it. What's wrong? What did I do?”

" "Nothing Levi!" You exclaim with a laugh. "I just wanna be mindful of not bothering you too much during the day, especially when you got all this stuff to do at work. I realize I can be a little too demanding of your attention, but I also don't want you to feel obligated as well. Hence...why I asked if it was okay."

Yeah, he agreed in his mind that you were a little bit demanding at times with this, but you weren’t overtly intrusive about it. Plus, if he was actually bothered by it, what was stopping him from simply blocking your messages during his shift? He obviously didn't do it because he didn't think of it that way.

"Don't be stupid." He replied lowly. "Let's be real, you'd lose your shit if I didn't reply to you during the day. Regardless, I'm fine, it doesn't bother me."

"You sure?" You asked a bit skeptically. He could tell you were genuine about all of this, and even if you did like to be overtly clingy, he understood you were capable of understanding necessary boundaries about things. He would never admit it to you, but you were capable of making mature choices about things.

He kept thinking of that particular pout you'd make when you tried to be serious with him. He didn't know if you made it on purpose but it was a rather cute feature about you. He imagined you making that same face right now as you tried to see if he was actually okay with you. He felt a smile form on his face.

"I'm sure, you brat." He responded back. "I enjoy talking to you, it makes work a bit more bearable. So stop asking me for permission like some kid."

He could hear you hum rather approvingly on the other line. "Okie dokie then. But legit, go ahead at get some rest. I'll check in with you in the morning yeah?"

"Yeah."

"Good night, love you."

He grunted back to you as his response. Yeah, he was still like that about those words. It was hard for him to say it back to you without feeling the need to be swallowed whole by the entire earth. He did care deeply for you, without a doubt, but it was as if he physically couldn't utter those things to you. At least not yet, it was still a work in progress.

You hung up on him on your end, and Levi rolled over to his side, breathing in deeply. An image of you kept popping into his head, wondering how this conversation may have ended in person. He wondered what kind of stupid face you'd be making or how annoying you'd be with your necessity to touch and hold him. He imagined a situation where you'd get upset at him for swatting his hand away, unaware that he would do it on purpose just to rile you up and to encourage you to forcefully grab a hold of it. He felt a crooked smile form on his face as he recalled your goodbye to him, your soft voice lulling him in his head as he felt a need to share the same sentiment to you in some way.

He rolled over back in his original position, eyes slowly peering open as he grabbed his phone, slowly tapping on its screen, soon pressing send to you before finally drifting off to sleep.

>I love you too.

[thebrokengate]

The Record of Stan Frederick: A Study of Amendments

This is an analysis that is long overdue. If there’s anyone in the world that could tell you how much I love The Record of Stan Frederick, it’s my best friend whose ear I’ve talked off endlessly about it, and they would probably tell you that Amendments is not only my favorite episode of the series, but also that it’s my favorite Slenderverse video of all time. If anyone who hasn’t experienced the Slenderverse asked me to show them one video from it that would paint them a picture of what the spirit of this universe is all about, this is the one I would point them to, because its characters, story, and editing encapsulate everything that I’ve loved about the Slenderverse for years all in one episode. I believe that Amendments is not only just a brilliantly made episode among many others in The Record of Stan Frederick, but it is also crucial to our understanding of the narrative, of what both separates and brings together our primary protagonist and antagonist, how the events of each character’s lives and how they felt about them affected their choices, and how the overall story of this series promotes the cautionary tale of not letting yourself fall into perpetuating the cycle of violence.

This is a case study of Amendments.

In the context of The Record of Stan Frederick, the dictionary meaning of the episode’s title would be defined as “a change made by correction, addition, or deletion” as our protagonist Stan Frederick’s goal in this particular video is to correct his error of putting off stopping his ex-partner in crime, Connor Dwight, from hurting the people around Stan when he had known how to stop Connor for at least a year. Stan put everyone else’s monsters ahead of his own, which only led to further destruction that could have been avoided—yet another huge mistake that cost him greatly. With his metaphorical will to live gone when he lost Willow, a child Stan was trying to help who was being hunted by the monsters known as Seedeaters, who manipulated her sister Dana to give her over to them—an event that Connor had a hand in tricking Stan over after being given Willow’s death prophecy by another monster known as the Rake, in which Connor proceeded to give Stan a warning ahead of time that other characters they knew could be the next to die, but never gave Willow’s name as an option—Stan finally worked up the nerve to take care of him once and for all.

Stan returns to his childhood home years after the loss of his little brother Erik and his parents, the place still as empty as it was then, save for the monster who took them all, standing at the top of the stairs waiting for him like it had never left. The Slenderman, as we know him, a monster who Stan used to fear so much and once gave into survival to appease it, and now Stan needs its help. It’s such a cruel twist of fate when he had taken everything from Stan in the past, and he has to question it: Can the monster feel emotions like pain or fear, and do the things that it does mean anything in relation to what it is? The reality of this question is to wonder if this faceless being who never speaks its mind has any level of consciousness humans can understand. Is it just a monster meant to prey on people like an animal for its own survival? Is it meant to play games with the mind until its victims are broken and nothing more? Is it something so far removed from us? Or is it like us at all, able to understand the horrors it puts humanity through, but does it anyway? Could it ever have felt the pain that Stan felt every time it took someone from him, and could it have ever understood him? But they’re questions that never come with an answer. It does what it does and that’s all we know.

But there is one other thing that Stan knows: how to please it. He makes a deal with Slenderman, not a far cry from making a deal with the Devil, that if he would make Connor human again so that he can be killed, Stan would let Slenderman take him in return. Turning the corner up the stairs, Stan finds that Slenderman has disappeared at the request, and at first believes that this was a denial of the offer on the monster’s part, only to look back down the stairs and see him now at the bottom instead. The deal Stan made effectively reversed their roles where Slenderman went from being both literally and metaphorically above him to being below him, showing that Stan now is the one who has control over the monster, it doing his bidding instead of the other way around—a relatively uncommon thing for a protagonist of the Slenderverse to make happen. This is one of the many things that makes The Record of Stan Frederick unique in general, because the story is told from the perspective of someone who has already been through this and knows the monster’s behavioral patterns instead of someone who has never had these experiences before.

With his deal accepted by the monster, Stan enters his old bedroom with only his camera that he sets up on the windowsill, and Connor’s gun. For a moment as he loads the gun, he thinks back on the last conversation he had with his brother Erik the day Slenderman took him, a memory that we as the audience also hear, before putting the gun to his head which lures Connor out. The trigger is pulled and despite the gun being loaded, no bullet comes out, because Stan isn’t allowed to die. The Rake still owes him for having given Connor to him years ago, and Connor can’t kill him because he’s under the Rake’s protection. Similarly, Connor can’t be killed in his current form as what’s known as a corruptelam—an echo of a person much like that of a ghost that can be left behind when a monster consumes a human. So with the two of them now standing face to face, both unable to be killed by the other, they’re finally at a stalemate. This is also reflected in the framing of the scene in which neither character stands above or below the other, showing that they are currently equals, unlike before for example in the episode People where Connor stands over Stan and Serena after fighting them off.

This is when Stan tries to appeal to Connor’s emotions, asking him if he remembers when they first met and saying that he knows Connor forgot a lot of things. It’s unspecified just how much Connor did forget as the type of corruptelams Stan had described the Rake leaving behind being echoes of the body rather than the mind, the type which Connor is, but we do know that day was one of the things he seems to have forgotten. Stan reminds him that they were once just kids in the foster system, both afraid of the same monster and the only ones who seemed to have been followed by it, which is when they clicked. And interestingly enough, for a second, Connor almost seems… sad. He bows his head and stares at the floor, and Stan mirrors the same position. Mirroring someone’s behavior in psychology is often a sign of empathy, giving the other person a non-verbal sign of connection and understanding, and it’s often something subconsciously done in our every day social environments. It shows that both of them are in sync, engaged in the same discussion and nostalgia of the past they endured together.

Stan didn’t know anything about Connor back then, certainly not what he was capable of becoming, but he knew even less about what he himself would become and what they would become together. Fear drove them both to survival, as equally guilty in what they did as they are in their equal inability to die. It’s what they both wanted at one point, to be able to live without that fear. To want to survive is human; when we’re faced with death, most of us will do anything to stop it, just as they did. But sometimes we go about it in a way that brings harm to others. Sometimes we become selfish creatures and throw others to the weeds if it means we’ll get a good night’s sleep. The truth is, the only thing that makes Stan better than Connor here is the fact that he woke up one day and realized he didn’t want to live that way anymore, to hurt others to keep himself safe. They’ve both been victims and they’ve both been perpetrators, but only Stan broke that cycle.

Stan then lifts the gun and points it at Connor, who reminds him that Stan can’t kill him. Stan replies that he knows because Connor is a corruptelam, the phenomena which he had named himself, to which Connor points out that he finds this whole situation embarrassing. This moment and the moment before are so surprisingly human, taking a step back and looking at the portrayal of Connor’s character up until this point as an otherwise threatening and intimidating figure. But, being completely unphased by the gun, Stan wonders if Connor had forgotten that, too—how to be scared, knowing now that he can’t be killed as a corruptelam and feeling that nothing bad would ever happen to him again because he’s something stronger than a human now. This conversation perfectly mirrors Stan’s earlier questions to Slenderman of if he can feel emotions and if the awful things he does have any purpose relative to his being, because Connor has truly become their own monster: perpetuating the cycle of violence, taking what he can from Stan to hurt him, and now unable to die. He’s forgotten the times that he used to lie awake in bed every night, terrified that their monster would come back again and harm him, and that’s something he outright tells Stan. “You move on. You make it better for yourself. You forget!” he argues. “No, you don’t! You don’t forget that,” Stan responds. “I certainly don’t. I forgot a lot… But I would never fucking forget that.” 

To remember our fears, in Stan’s eyes, is what keeps us human. It’s what reminds us that other people in our own personal situations have the same feelings as us, and makes us ask what right we have to make them suffer while we find peace. What makes us our monsters is not the hardships we face, but the hell we choose to make others go through to feel better about ourselves, and we have to be careful not to cross that line. We are all as capable of continuing the cycles of torment we experience as we are capable of breaking them, and Connor unfortunately never did.

It’s at this point that Stan allows Slenderman to complete his request, to turn back the clock and make Connor human again. Connor falls to his knees before his monster and screams as Slenderman does this, remaining on his knees even when it’s over and Stan points his gun at the back of Connor’s head. This scene shows that their stalemate has finally been broken with Stan now being above Connor rather than on equal ground with him. Connor begins to make one final plea for his life, but Stan cuts him off by shooting him, ending his life for real this time. Blood covers the screen, hiding Stan’s face from view as he too falls to his knees, now becoming his monster himself. We can no longer see his expressions beyond the blood, we don’t know his exact thoughts, if he feels better for taking Connor out of the world so he can’t hurt anyone else, or if he feels more grief for having to take his life with his own hands this time around—having also been stated in one of the book excerpts to have hated himself for giving Connor over to the Rake originally—or if he’s feeling some strange mixture of both. We don’t know what his emotions are toward that action in that moment, just as we don’t know what Slenderman’s emotions may be when he hurts people, if he even has any at all. There’s only emptiness left in the silent room that we as the audience feel, until Stan leaves Connor’s body behind for the Rake to find and goes back downstairs to accept his fate in giving himself over to Slenderman, completing their arranged deal.

Except he doesn’t.

As Slenderman tries to take him, Stan talks back, explaining how Slenderman used to be so huge and terrifying to him as a kid, and how he took everything from him. He asks the monster then if he really thought that Stan was going to let him take him too before using the same gun he had just killed Connor with to shoot himself, finally able to die as he was no longer in the Rake’s good graces. A body for a body. And not to get all David Kushner’s Daylight here, but that gun, too, is a metaphor for how Stan and Connor drinking poison from the same vine of survival led them both to their deaths. It was Connor who owned the gun first, the person who also initially suggested the idea of sacrificing other kids to their monster in return for their own peace, which Stan agreed to. The blood from the same deal they made was always on both of their hands, but Connor choosing to share that poison with Stan made Stan his own undoing from the beginning as he would always be the one to stop Connor. The awful truth is, if not for Stan, Connor’s way of surviving may have been proven to always work. It’s a horrible way to go, but no one else ever brought him down. If Connor truly wanted to survive in that way, picking Stan as his survival partner was the wrong move, unbeknownst to him at the start. The gun is a symbolic reflection in this scenario of Stan’s original plans when he had initially accepted Connor’s proposal of harvesting—that he was going to poison his and Connor’s cups of coffee which would kill them both, stopping Connor from going through with perpetuating the cycle of violence and ending his own life because he never stopped feeling guilt and grief from losing his brother to Slenderman.

The narrative actively punishes Stan whenever he chooses to live, and fate seems to scream that he has always been meant to die that day with Connor before they could ever do any of the horrible things they did together. Whether that be the time he handed Connor off to the Rake and got to live again only to be stuck trying to make up for their mistakes, or this time in Amendments when Stan returns as a corruptelam for one last try at making something of his life and he loses the last of the people that he loved, it’s always a punishment that he doesn’t die. He committed unforgivable sins that he could find no redemption for unless it was to choose death, and there was never another option to redeem him. The tragedy of The Record of Stan Frederick is like something out of a Shakespearian play, that there is no atonement and no end to Stan’s suffering unless he dies when all he wanted to do before was get out alive—just as his favorite song said. Amendments perfectly conveys the message of this story like no other, that becoming your own monster can only lead you down two paths: one of a never-ending cycle of hurting others to feel better about yourself, or one of never-ending regret. There’s no hope in that cycle. But there is hope in reaching out to others for help when you need it, and that is part of the message, too. After all, it’s Stan who tells his support group in the episode titled Support Group that they have each other and tells them how important that connection is. The support of those going through the same troubles as us is meant to lift us up, to help us survive together in a positive way, not to abuse and exploit it as Stan and Connor once did. It’s up to all of us to decide which path we’ll choose, and it’s up to us alone to accept the responsibility of those actions—just as Stan finally did.

[sweetestpopcorn]

Hi 🍿! I just realized how religious the post-dance targ family is. Like I know Maegelle joined the faith but it seems like she was the only one so into it. At least she was the only one in her generation. But the post-dance targ family had three! (Not to mention Bealor who is a little bit 🤨) Do you think this has to do with the greens? I mean like their line died out but their whole mindset went on and influenced the Targaryens. Or are there any other factors you think lead to this situation?

Hi there and sorry for this huge delay :)

Why are you even considering the Greens when neither Baela, Rhaena, Aegon III, or Viserys II were influenced by them or spent any time with them except Baela and Aegon III when they were captive? Yes, they influenced politics in Westeros... to the extent that they solidified something that was already a practice of House Targaryen and an established custom that was only interrupted by King Viserys.

Nonetheless, please let's not pretend that any of the Greens was the thing that turned House Targaryen religious or introduced the Seven to the Targaryens because that is a blatant lie if I ever saw one.

Cases in point:

Rhaenyra is shown to value the faith of the Seven. She makes Jace and Luke swear on the Seven-Pointed Star. Aegon II - a green - shows no such behaviour so you could make an argument that she was more religious than him. She also seemed to have a particular notion regarding marriage, and vows taken.

Rhaena (Daemon's daughter) was said to pray for her second dragon egg day and night hoping it would hatch.

Jaehaerys understood the importance of religion even making a septon his Hand. Furthermore, he was quite conservative and did not take it at all kindly to know his daughter Saera had lovers prior to being married referring to her as a wh0re.

Alysanne is also shown to be quite religious, wanting to bathe in the sacred waters of Jonquil's Pool, and saying that the Mother loved her children more than she did -> using it as explanation of why so many of her children had died.

Septon Eustace had once been Queen Aemma's confessor.

Both Maegelle and Rhaella (or Aerea depending on what you believe) became septas.

The Targaryens followed the Faith of the Seven post Conquest, and even before the Conquest there was a sept in Dragonstone.

I make no secret that I am not a person who cares about religion, I don't and am mainly against it. I can however, from an objective viewpoint understand why people at times cling to it, and it has much to do with hardship, with pain, and with a desire that the unfixable can be fixed. With faith.

The children of Aegon III and Viserys II were born in a time of great vulnerability of House Targaryen, to parents who had experienced war, significant loss, and deep trauma. Many of the siblings were said to cling to each other - e.g., Aemon and Naerys, Daena and Elaena; examining their lives it is quite clear to see why they sought after comfort in religion. Just consider Naerys, she was born sickly, her mother left when she was a baby, she was raised by a father more concerned with ruling a kingdom than caring for her, learned about the downfall of their House and their dragons, was forced to marry a brother who abus€d until she died and had many miscarriages... what else but her Faith and her love of her brother Aemon and her son would keep her going?

There is also a possibility that perhaps there was some hope or faith that the gods could intervene and help to bring their dragons back. Let's remember how Rhaena (Daemon's daughter) prayed that her egg would hatch as I mentioned above.

But we do see an example of clinging to something else, in Daeron, for instance, who thought that it was through conquest and military prowess that they would regain their power.

Baelor was a... special case I would say, and without a doubt he had some severe mental illness.

In any case in the AU where we get Fire&Blood 2 I am sure many of these issues will be further explored. And impossible as it may seem, it is still more likely to happen than redacted being good or giving justice to anything we saw in Fire and Blood.

Here's to hoping and to stop giving the Greens importance they don't have in 2024.

All the best!

[bipolarman2022]

Parte uno " LAS DUNAS" **Title: "The Warrior of the Dunes"**

Deep in the Arabian desert, where the dunes rise like mountains of gold and the sun burns with the fury of a thousand fires, lived a man known as Malik, the Warrior of the Dunes. His name was feared by his enemies and respected by his people, not only for his superhuman strength but for his ability to survive in the most inhospitable desert. But today, Malik was not an indomitable warrior. Today, he was a man kneeling in the sand, his fists clenched, his face lifted toward the sky, trapped in a storm of pain and loss.

Malik's legend had been forged in battle. From a young age, he had learned to fight, not just with a sword but with his wits and his heart. He had defended his village from invaders, led caravans through sandstorms, and won countless battles against warriors who outnumbered him. But no enemy had been as relentless as the one he now faced: the pain of loss.

Just days ago, Malik had returned to his village after a successful campaign against the bandits who plagued the region. But upon his return, there were no customary celebrations. Instead, there was silence. A heavy silence, broken only by the wind whispering through the tents and the sound of stifled sobs. His brother, Amir, his soulmate in this ruthless world, had been killed.

Amir was not just Malik's brother; he was his confidant, his closest friend, the only one who understood the weight the warrior bore in his heart. They had fought together since childhood, sharing dreams of a better world, a world where their people could live without fear. But all that had ended in the blink of an eye. Amir had been ambushed while Malik was away, his life taken by the sword of a traitor seeking vengeance against the Warrior of the Dunes.

Malik had rushed to the place where his brother's body lay, but he arrived too late. He found Amir lying in the sand, his eyes still open, looking up at the sky as if waiting for someone, or something. Malik fell to his knees beside him, embracing him with a heartbreaking cry that echoed across the desert. In that moment, there was no Warrior of the Dunes, only a man broken by the loss of the one person who had been his true home.

Now, alone in the desert, under a sky covered in clouds that promised a storm, Malik cried out to the gods, to the spirits of the desert, to any force that might hear his plea. "Why? Oh, great gods of the desert, why have you taken my brother from me?!"

The sand swirled around him, whipping his body as if the desert itself felt his pain and wanted to punish him. His face, marked by wind and sun, was covered in dust, but his eyes burned with a fury that would not be quenched. His muscles tensed with every word he shouted, his hands dug into the sand, and the air around him vibrated with the intensity of his grief.

The wind began to howl, and the sand began to dance around him in a furious storm. But Malik did not move. He stayed where he was, on his knees, defying the storm, defying the very gods he felt had betrayed him. Every grain of sand that struck his skin was a needle of pain, but it was also a testament to his endurance.

"Amir!" he shouted, his voice a roar lost in the wind. "We promised to protect each other! We promised to fight together until the end!"

Tears streamed down his face, but in his fury and pain, he barely noticed. At that moment, Malik felt the sky darken even more, as if the universe itself were crying with him. He looked up, searching for answers, but found only more questions.

In his desperation, he felt a change in the wind, a whisper that did not come from the storm. It was a soft sound, almost imperceptible, but full of a presence he recognized. Amir's voice, carried by the desert wind, barely audible, but unmistakable.

“Live, Malik,” said the voice. “Live and fight. Do not let my death be in vain.”

Malik closed his eyes, letting the tears flow freely now. He felt the sand piling up around him, burying his knees, his feet, but he did not care. In his heart, something began to change. The pain was still there, an open wound that bled with every beat, but alongside it, a spark of determination began to burn.

"Amir," Malik whispered, his voice soft but firm, "I promise you that I will live for both of us. I promise that I will keep fighting, that I will protect our people as you would."

The storm began to subside, the wind calmed, and the sand stopped swirling around Malik. He opened his eyes and looked toward the horizon, where the sun began to rise, casting a golden light over the dunes. He knew his journey would be long and full of challenges, but he also knew he was not alone. Amir's spirit would always be with him, a beacon in the darkness, guiding his steps through the desert of life.

With one last look at the sky, Malik slowly rose. His legs were heavy, his body ached, but in his chest, his heart beat with newfound strength. He took a step forward, and then another, moving toward the dawn, toward a new day, with the promise to never forget, but always to keep moving forward.

[bloodywankers]

Your take on yan Bachira was 👌👌👌

Since you mentioned that darling has no monster and both of yall understand each other, imagine yan Bachira with f!darling similar to him; a talented athlete who has a monster too, and that monster of yours was the one who leads you to your success.

However, that same monster of yours was the one who encouraged you to never have deep relationships with people, only form relationships due to certain benefits, and isolate yourself; basically making sure you never let anyone get close to you (maybe darling's "monster" is her coping mechanism manifesting itself? Who knows).

Bachira being excited because there's someone out there similar to him and he's not entirely the only one with a monster, but his darling's monster was the one who made her distant from him.

Trigger Warning! Yandere Meguru Bachira! Unedited!

Life is hard when you’re labelled a weirdo by all your peers and even those that do share a common interest with you find you “too intense” for no better way to put it.

No one understood you, not like Bachira did. He sympathised with you. He talked about the same monster that pushed you to pursue your dreams with such ardent passion.

Bachira likes you, he enjoys your company and your endless rambling about your dreams and aspirations, he also loves it when you listen to him muse on and on about football and about the new players he’s been obsessed with.

Friendships are hard—they require time and effort, which you could instead be pouring into bettering yourself. You like his company just as much as he does yours but you don’t crave validation as much as you crave victory.

You enjoy speaking to him and knowing you’re not alone but you enjoy winning more, and there's nothing you hate more than a loss that could have been avoided had you just worked harder.

This is where Bachira starts to notice a conflict in interests.

Maybe this is post-Blue Lock so by now he's quite well accomplished— so are you in your own right— but it's come at the cost of your relationship. You don’t meet nearly as often, don’t reply to his messages as quickly as he’d like you to, nor do you attend any of his matches anymore.

He likes seeing you achieve all these things, for the monster within you to grow larger but he has dreams and aspirations too, not just football. He also wants to spend time with you and talk to you and ramble to you about his day and wake up to you.

It’s your dream versus his now and as much as it pains him, he’s willing to sacrifice yours. After all, if this is all it took to subdue you, then maybe your monster wasn't all that strong to begin with.

But it’s alright, you can have new dreams, ones that involve him.

Masterlist

[dangerliesbeforeyou]

oh man ok i need to gush about moonlight chicken for a second lol

i adored how this show didnt shy away from the messiness of real life and relationships! like u hav a single gay working class man desperately trying to make ends meet and struggling with the guilt of his past lover having died tragically whilst bringing up his nephew who wants to be taken seriously and finally fly the nest to live his own life whilst at the same time navigating his crush on a lonely deaf boy who just wants to be understood and respected. and then you have a man stuck in relationship limbo where he's unable to let go of his past love but also yearning to move on and free them both from the pain they cause each other... and that's not even to mention the side characters who deal with the loss of parents, unfaithful partners, unplanned pregnancies, trying to be a better mother to your son, etc...

no one was a villain, instead you had a group of people who needed to grow and learn in a very natural way, and that's just so refreshing to see! honestly one of my fav parts of the story is that rather than inventing some arbitrary dramatic reason for wen and alan to break up, it just happened because their love had fizzled out, a thing that happens all the time in real relationships! and even though their love had died, it was still obvious that they cared deeply for one another which made both of them trying to move on so much more painful...

so much of this show was about the cycles of emotional abuse that can develop when you're stuck in the past... jim is unable to see a happy future for himself because he blames himself for beam's death, and he let's that anger and resentment inform how he treats li ming. wen is ignoring the messiness of his relationship with alan in favour of pursuing jim, but knows deep down that neither will be able to truly move on unless he deals with the situation. even heart's parents are stuck unable to relate to or be willing to understand their deaf son as they continue to isolate him from the outside world, thinking that it will protect him but all it does is make him even more lonely!

idk i just loved how the show focused so much on living in the moment. that the past is fixed and the future is uncertain, but there will always be now where you can always find some glimmer of joy and optimism.

and then there's ofc the queer element of the show where we get to see how internalised and external homophobia exist as perimeters to queer people being able to truly be themselves. one of the most heart wrenching scenes is at beam's funeral where his parents come up to jim and effectively tell him that because he and beam weren't married, he has no legal rights to any of the things they had worked so hard for together! and this is something you hear time and time again, both historically and now, where queer couples in countries that dont recognise gay marriage or even civil partnerships are denied so much (particularly when one of them dies) because their relationship is deemed illegitimate by law.

jim as a character has internalised this so much that when he finds out his nephew is gay, he lashes out (in one of the funniest scenes ever, mind you lol... literally the whole 'why are you gay, isn't being poor enough of a challenge!?' thing is gonna stick in my mind forever i love it sm lol) because he knows first hand how hard it is to be a queer man in a society that still doesnt fully accept you! (and it rly showed the disparity between him, a working class man, and wen, someone from a middle class/wealthy background when it comes to queerness that i don't think gets discussed as much... cos the fact of the matter is that for a long time queerness /was/ effectively reserved for wealthy people, as working class people wouldnt have had as much of a choice in how they could live their lives, so jim's reticence when it comes to accepting li ming's (and his own) queerness is directly tied to how being poor doesnt always allow you the luxury of simply 'being yourself'...)

and i think it was especially interesting that this show didnt present homophobia in individualistic terms. we don't get a character calling them slurs or saying that they're wrong for being gay, instead we get systemic and societal prejudices showing up in insidious ways, which feels so much more realistic! (like even jam, who is presented as having outdated and homophobic opinions, isnt presented as some evil villain. she's just a product of a homophobic society that teaches people being gay is a sad way of living, and she has to unlearn that as both her brother and son prove her wrong!)

i honestly could (and probably will) go on but yeh... this show man... this show