#like..... this show just feels so special and im just so thankful it exists tbh

[dangerliesbeforeyou]

oh man ok i need to gush about moonlight chicken for a second lol

i adored how this show didnt shy away from the messiness of real life and relationships! like u hav a single gay working class man desperately trying to make ends meet and struggling with the guilt of his past lover having died tragically whilst bringing up his nephew who wants to be taken seriously and finally fly the nest to live his own life whilst at the same time navigating his crush on a lonely deaf boy who just wants to be understood and respected. and then you have a man stuck in relationship limbo where he's unable to let go of his past love but also yearning to move on and free them both from the pain they cause each other... and that's not even to mention the side characters who deal with the loss of parents, unfaithful partners, unplanned pregnancies, trying to be a better mother to your son, etc...

no one was a villain, instead you had a group of people who needed to grow and learn in a very natural way, and that's just so refreshing to see! honestly one of my fav parts of the story is that rather than inventing some arbitrary dramatic reason for wen and alan to break up, it just happened because their love had fizzled out, a thing that happens all the time in real relationships! and even though their love had died, it was still obvious that they cared deeply for one another which made both of them trying to move on so much more painful...

so much of this show was about the cycles of emotional abuse that can develop when you're stuck in the past... jim is unable to see a happy future for himself because he blames himself for beam's death, and he let's that anger and resentment inform how he treats li ming. wen is ignoring the messiness of his relationship with alan in favour of pursuing jim, but knows deep down that neither will be able to truly move on unless he deals with the situation. even heart's parents are stuck unable to relate to or be willing to understand their deaf son as they continue to isolate him from the outside world, thinking that it will protect him but all it does is make him even more lonely!

idk i just loved how the show focused so much on living in the moment. that the past is fixed and the future is uncertain, but there will always be now where you can always find some glimmer of joy and optimism.

and then there's ofc the queer element of the show where we get to see how internalised and external homophobia exist as perimeters to queer people being able to truly be themselves. one of the most heart wrenching scenes is at beam's funeral where his parents come up to jim and effectively tell him that because he and beam weren't married, he has no legal rights to any of the things they had worked so hard for together! and this is something you hear time and time again, both historically and now, where queer couples in countries that dont recognise gay marriage or even civil partnerships are denied so much (particularly when one of them dies) because their relationship is deemed illegitimate by law.

jim as a character has internalised this so much that when he finds out his nephew is gay, he lashes out (in one of the funniest scenes ever, mind you lol... literally the whole 'why are you gay, isn't being poor enough of a challenge!?' thing is gonna stick in my mind forever i love it sm lol) because he knows first hand how hard it is to be a queer man in a society that still doesnt fully accept you! (and it rly showed the disparity between him, a working class man, and wen, someone from a middle class/wealthy background when it comes to queerness that i don't think gets discussed as much... cos the fact of the matter is that for a long time queerness /was/ effectively reserved for wealthy people, as working class people wouldnt have had as much of a choice in how they could live their lives, so jim's reticence when it comes to accepting li ming's (and his own) queerness is directly tied to how being poor doesnt always allow you the luxury of simply 'being yourself'...)

and i think it was especially interesting that this show didnt present homophobia in individualistic terms. we don't get a character calling them slurs or saying that they're wrong for being gay, instead we get systemic and societal prejudices showing up in insidious ways, which feels so much more realistic! (like even jam, who is presented as having outdated and homophobic opinions, isnt presented as some evil villain. she's just a product of a homophobic society that teaches people being gay is a sad way of living, and she has to unlearn that as both her brother and son prove her wrong!)

i honestly could (and probably will) go on but yeh... this show man... this show

[myysaints]

°˖ ⊹ ꒰ LN4 ꒱ JUST MY LUCK ─ LANDO NORRIS

LANDO NORRIS x f!reader

⌗︙・ summary — in which lando starts flirting with a (not-so-)random girl on the internet.

genre — social media au, fc hannah kae

notes — kinda disappointing finish to yesterday's gp :( but to make up for that here's something simple & cute !!! churned this one out in one day bc by god i love that little frog man with my whole heart. tbh this is just a shameless self insert ..... also rewrote history a tad bit by making lando finish on the podium at monaco because why not LOL hope u enjoyyyy xx

lando.jpg

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lando.jpg  Monaco, I’m ready for ya.

view all 884,281 comments

bambiyn  and i’m ready for u !!!!!!!

bambiyn  talented, brilliant, incredible, amazing, show stopping, spectacular…

bambiyn  why am i sweating rn

bambiyn  goddamn

bambiyn  my fav driver everyone !!!!!!

bambiyn  my dms (and legs) r open btw 😁😁

       Liked by lando.jpg yourbestfriend  Y/N OH MY GOD…. THERE ARE CHILDREN ON THIS APP… bambiyn  …ok… and? user  yo wtf lando liked????

danielricciardo  Lando I love you but not as much as that girl in the comments

bambiyn  ok i feel called out danielricciardo  Oh, hey there! bambiyn HIIII!!!!!

bambiyn added to their story!

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bambiyn

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bambiyn  yeah ok so monaco’s kinda cool

view all 2,914 comments

user  marry me

user  didn’t know angels existed until i saw you 😩

user  mother is in monaco!!!!

yourbestfriend  “kinda cool” … says the girl who freaked out literally every 5 steps we took because “oh my god look at that car”

bambiyn  the cars here are sick okay idk what u want from me !

landonorris  only kinda?

bambiyn  maybe if u finish on the podium on sunday… then it’d be cooler user  LMFAOOOOO y/n never misses

landonorris  But welcome to Monaco 🙃

bambiyn  thank uuuuu!!! user  girlie hit him with the five u’s GET UP Y/N

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f1wagupdates

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f1wagupdates  Submitted by Anon ❤️ Looks like things are heating up in Monaco for Lando Norris! He was spotted last night on a dinner date with a mystery woman. A source close to the McLaren driver tells us that he is “very very content” in his new relationship, and is “excited to take on this weekend with her by his side”. As for who Lando’s secret lover is, we have it on good authority that, though she is a public figure, she is nowhere near her beau’s status of fame. Follow for more updates on all things wag-related 🏎

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user  arms…. hand placement…. RAHGRFGAHFRH

user  god i wish that were me 😩

user  someone check up on bambiyn… ik shes heartbroken rn

bambiyn  my world is literally collapsing as i type this

bambiyn  damn 💔

bambiyn  so that’s how it be then 😭😭

yourbestfriend  heartbreak. betrayal.

bambiyn  like damn i really thought i was the one 😔 user  LMFAOOO girl ur hilarious

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www.youtube.com/Formula1

POST-RACE INTERVIEW WITH LANDO NORRIS | MONACO GRAND PRIX 2023

bambiyn

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🏷  landonorris, lando.jpg

bambiyn  thanks people magazine for finally letting me post my man. happy 5 months to my prince charming!! ♡ ૮꒰•༝  •。꒱ა xx

view all 1,138,004 comments

landonorris  Best 5 months of my life

landonorris  You make my heart hurt silly

landonorris  my forever girl

danielricciardo  You’re too good for him Y/N!!!

bambiyn  ikr… user  get off your high horse smh youre nothing special he’ll dump u in a week landonorris  Yk I can read your comments right? Don’t be a fucking prick in my girl’s comment section. user  “my girl’s comment section” im gonna go feral

user  hey god it’s me again…

georgerussell63   Great meeting you Y/N! You two make a great couple 👍

landonorris  Mate what is with you and typing like youre 50 years old

landonorris

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🏷  bambiyn

landonorris   5 marvellous months with the missus ❤️ To my sweetheart, I love you dummy. I love you and your weird little keyboard face things. i love the little hop you do whenever you see something you like. The way you always smell like cotton candy and clouds and vanilla and cookies. How you laugh at all my jokes even when theyre kinda shit. The fact you still don’t know how to drive stick shift (drives me crazy but anyways). Thank you for being mine baby, here’s to a million more 5 months with you 🥂

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danielricciardo   aww thanks babe

landonorris  💀💀 danielricciardo  But on a serious note, I’m so happy for you guys. You got a good thing going bro 👊 landonorris  Sure do mate

bambiyn  a million kisses for u when u get home (´꒳`)♡

landonorris  eagerly looking forward landonorris  (❤ω❤) landonorris  Did i do it right bambiyn  YESSSS !!!! proud of u baby hehe ur so cute landonorris  >:)

user  we still don’t know what that crazy night was abt lol

bambiyn  omg yeah thank u for reminding me !

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BONUS:

You have [1] unread message.

[4:21 PM] vroom vroom baby: I saw your recent insta story.... 😉😉

[4:22 PM] dummy ❤️: mmhmmmmm

[4:22 PM] dummy ❤️: and what about it…?

[4:24 PM] vroom vroom baby: nothing it was

[4:24 PM] vroom vroom baby: It was perfect

[4:25 PM] vroom vroom baby: Just…

[4:25 PM] dummy ❤️: justttt?

[4:27 PM] vroom vroom baby: Just that I was thinking

[4:27 PM] vroom vroom baby: Maybe

[4:27 PM] vroom vroom baby: If u wanted ofc

[4:28 PM] vroom vroom baby: We could

[4:28 PM] vroom vroom baby: Maybe

[4:29 PM] vroom vroom baby: recreate it…

[4:29 PM] vroom vroom baby: ?

[4:31 PM] dummy ❤️: is this ur way of asking me to come over

[4:25 PM] dummy ❤️: 🥺

[4:31 PM] vroom vroom baby: no….

[4:33 PM] vroom vroom baby: ok yes

[4:36 PM] dummy ❤️: i’ll be over in 5 !!!

[4:33 PM] vroom vroom baby: See you soon gorgeous

[4:36 PM] dummy ❤️: tsch

[4:36 PM] dummy ❤️: you spoil me

[4:38 PM] vroom vroom baby: Just speaking the facts 💯

© myysaints

[feelinmatcha]

❛ 𝐈 𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄 𝐘𝐎𝐔, 𝐈'𝐌 𝐒𝐎𝐑𝐑𝐘 ❜

DESCRIPTION: hcs on having an unreciprocated crush on your best friend, sanji A/N: told my best friend of 8 years who is taken that im in love with them and its the reason why im no longer gonna contact them until i get over this silly lil feeling (i think shes it for me tbh). but!! im writing this because i miss them so much and breaking no contact with them is wrong!!! 🎵: i love you, i'm sorry by gracie abrams

just the way life goes I like to slam doors closed

when he's hurt or in trouble, you're the first to offer help or a comforting hand on his shoulder

on special occasions, like his or his mothers birthday, you'll anonymously leave a letter on the kitchen counter that would leave him tearing up in the most embarrassing way possible

you write letters filled with your true feelings, incorporating one for every other day. you label the dates, of course, in case you lose track of how many months its been since you've starting having such feelings for him

during late-night conversations, you find yourself pouring out your heart, sharing your dreams and fears. he listens with a cigarette pinched between his fingers, eyes sparkling with genuine interest, unaware that these moments are your way of expressing your hidden feelings

Trust me, I know it's always about me I love you, I'm sorry

you dream about him on the daily to the point where you're waking up to feel the space next to you cold

even with the subtle playful flirting, he doesn't see it as anything more than just friendly banter

when you're around him, it's like everything pales in comparison. you steal glances over the fire, the crowd, luffy's head in the mornings, and even early in the mornings when he's prepping for breakfast

when he gets upset over another failed pursuit of a relationship, you offer the same advice all while sharing some of your own romantic desires

'Cause that's just the way life goes I push my luck, it shows

you insinuate your feelings at one point, since its been almost a year

it was on a particular evening when the rest of the straw hat pirates were out on the deck, watching the swirls of blue and pink in the sky, while your loverboy sulked over nami for the millionth time this month

"you could always just ask her, sanji. it's just nami."

"yes, that's exactly why i shouldn't say anything. it's her!"

"we've been sailing together for how many years, you know her just like you know me and usopp, she's--"

"she's not like you, or usopp!" he groans, ignorant of the way your lips turn downward into a frown at the tone of his voice

"anyone would love you." you say softly

"you're just saying that," he runs a hand down his face. the tears threatening to spill over and his unkempt hair makes this situation so much worse than all of the other times he's cried over a woman. "you're part of the crew, of course you'd think that."

even through the threads of countless lives, your soul would search for his in order to endlessly love him through every echo of existence

a pang blooms in your chest

Thankful you don't send someone to kill me I love you, I'm sorry

it's been a year and a half since you've got feelings for the cook

nothing got better, but at least you're semi thankful for sanji not having the balls to confess yet

even if he did, nami knew of your feelings

she would spend at least one hour a day pestering you about your feelings for him and you didn't have the heart to tell her that he was in love with her instead

because he might just cut contact with you for that

You were the best but you were the worst As sick as it sounds, I loved you first

"why do you love him anyway?"

zoro asks you this one night when he catches you slaving over the counter, trying to prep the dishes and ingredients sanji will need for the next morning

you're rearranging your plans to accommodate sanji's needs when you stop on an island

you decorated the kitchen space with little touches that cater to his tastes-- framed recipes, kitchen gadgets, and cozy blankets draped over the usually chilly kitchen chairs

once every other month, you collaborate on ship projects like redecorating a space or choosing what else to grow up behind the main mast next to nami's mandarins

you don't know when it started but you started to express your affection through gestures like tucking his shirt in for him or fixing his collar from across the table, usually in a more private setting

most mornings he meets you in the kitchen at 4 and getting greeted with a steaming cup of his favorite tea

I was a dick, it is what it is A habit to kick, the age-old curse

"you're going to spend the night at hers?" with a sparkling drink cupped in her hand, you look up at him, a furrow in your brow. "sanji, we're leaving tomorrow morning. why do you think we're not drin--"

"why are you so insistent that i stay?" he rebutted. the girl that was gonna take him home shied away, like you were his mother berating him for something like swinging too high up on a swing

because i love you and i hate seeing you love everyone back but me, you hoped to say

"everyone said it was fine, so i'm going."

when he left, nami consoled you as you tried your best not to burst into hot tears

and when you saw zoro across from you, looking slightly hurt for you, you knew it was time to bury these feelings in the ground

I tend to laugh whenever I'm sad Stare at the crash, it actually works

after you avoided him for a week, which he thought couldn't be possible because they were on a ship, he begins to realize that a chunk of his life quite literally washed away like a plank in the ocean

the frame of you two sat would sit on the dining table after everybody had left, having been previously used for a recipe until you decided to change things up a bit one day

and when sanji saw it that day, he was glad and pointed out that its a nice picture and a good reminder of how fun that day was

to you, the photo was once a symbol of hope and affection but now it felt like a reminder of the emotional distance between the two of you

you threw it away the night you returned back to the ship, knowing he was in bed with another girl

Making amends, this shit never ends I'm wrong again, wrong again

NOTES: plsplspls ignore the errors im writing this at 12am ^^

[txttletale]

(Other than the really weird bit about "Male presenting Doctor") what were your thoughts about the specials?

pretty mixed bag, pretty messy, but good overall. i think they were very obviously a nostalgia trip for people around my age lol and it worked! i loved seeing tennant and tate back onscreen together, their chemistry hasn't aged a bit, and honestly just watching doctor who that wasn't written by chris chibnall was a breath of fresh air. they weren't boring, like seasons 11 and 12 were, and they didn't go too far off the other end into nonsense like flux did. characters want things again! the show can let itself just be silly! i was literally cheering out loud when donna and the doctor were just saying random scifi gobbledegook at each other for like a solid several minutes during the star beast.

the structure of the specials kind of baffles me. i love wild blue yonder--i think it's definitively the best of the specials as a standalone, it's absolutely fantastic, creepy and atmospheric and bringing things around to RTD's strength, which is well-written characters interacting with each other and letting good actors just act. but at the same time i dont understand why it exists? it feels like...idk. imagine if you watched the star wars original trilogy but instead of the empire strikes back the middle film was just a feature length film about luke and han surviving on an ice planet with no reference to anything that happens in the last film except the two characters' relationship. and then the next film was still return of the jedi, unchanged. it felt like that

i liked all the weird campy silliness of the star beast and the giggle, and they were both very fun! neil patrick harris gave a fantastic performance, there are a lot of very memorable sequences from the giggle, but it's very very all over the place. so many threads get kind of picked up and go nowhere. the toymaker's haunted house dimension goes nowhere. RTD's eyerolling social media commetnary goes nowhere (thank god tbh but yknow im illustrating something here). even the toymaker kind of goes nowhere, after ncuti gatwa shows up he's bascially an afterthought who loses by dropping a ball. obvious parallels to david tennant's first episode with that ball scene could be made, but just... aren't. it feels like load-bearing sectikons of the plot and themes were cut out to make room for a backdoor pilot for the stupid fucking UNIT spinoff

oh and it goes without saying i fucking hate all the UNIT wank in the star beast and the giggle. i hope space nine eleven 2 happens to their stupid fucking avengers tower i cannot stand kate stewart who is constantly a murderous bonehead (in the giggle alone she gets two pepole killed by not listening to the doctor and assuming that this teleporting godlike entity could be restrainted by Two Guys) who is both in and out of universe just a boring nepo baby with no merit of her own

um. i still dont know what happened with the regeneration. i think the implication is that when david tennant dies hell time travel back to become ncuti gatwa inside himself--at least the rehab dialogue seems to make that implication. but it's not really explained or explored? baffling. i do think that fourteen getting to settle down and live a peaceful life with his friends is cute.

oh yeah and the ask said other than that but goddd there was some good stuff in the star beast and honestly with the state of the UK media i will take any perspective on trans people that includes baseline human erespect but some of those lines made me cringe so bad. anyway overall i am cautiously optimistic for the future of the show--oh ncuti was fucking great did i mention that i instantly bnought him as the doctor he owned the scene, the moment he was there it was clear he was the protagonist, and i liked the church on ruby road well enough too--i am cautiously optimistic but i worry that a big UNIT-shaped tumor will devour huge chunks of it and it'll be annoying. also russel t davies is like 60 and i just dont want to hear what he has to say about twitter so im not looking forward to dot and bubble

[madstronaut]

truth can be stranger than fiction, but sometimes they also hold hands and kiss

I was gunning to post this in September but A Lot of Life™️ happened (and is still happening tbh) so despite me pouting at myself about skipping a month, without further ado - my 24th faficowrimo ramble~

every now and then, the fiction I read and my lived experiences tangle together in my head and coagulate into some interesting dreams...some of my favorites ofc are the smutty ones, what can I say I've always had an active imagination

Some of my beloved fics I note as comfort reads or cathartic reads, depending on how I'm feeling and the nature of the story...this falls squarely under cathartic for me

I will temporarily sidestep the mountain pile of naughty dreams to share of a recurring one that's always left me quite speechless that I have had the gift of dreaming about again brought on, in part, by the latest read of Service Dog Johnny by @void-my-warranty in a way that really just leaves me at a loss for words... if you'd like to get emotionally baja blasted (and also tbh once again hear me rant about my love for fanfic) with me, read on, my fellow taco bell enthusiast & traveler ✨🌮

also I am including this gif because I searched 'taco bell' as a joke and for some unexplainably fucked up reason this was one of the top gifs to show up in the list but also what a double-duty it serves as I talk about SERVICE DOG JOHNNY EH? reality sometimes really *is* stranger than fiction but also seriously wtf is going on here in this gif if you know pls DM me im afraid to google it

I started therapy a few years ago thanks to finally finding someone I trusted/specializing in my trauma cocktail *and* covered by my insurance (to my fellow americans: SHOCKER, I know, anyway fuck US healthcare and this economy but moving on) and I recall describing the early sessions to IRL beloveds/moots with some choice phrases, like:

having a sword tip poking my chest and being asked to walk further into the blade

having swallowed a large sack full of glass shards and instead of trying to remove them, realizing i have adjusted to have the bits piercing out of my body be less noticeable - not very sustainable personally speaking, let's be real

after some hard fucking work, sweat, tears put in I started dreaming about seeing that sword as a surgical scalpel instead, healing instead of harming, and that sack of glass filled with water and oil instead (really wanted to put a squirting/watersports joke here at voidy's expense but this is such a sacred thing to me but wait it's MY sacred thing and I can desecrate it for jokes IF I WANT TO OKAY) making me feel light and buoyant and seeing all my former open wounds now freshly scarred up. I'm honestly tearing up writing this out because I am very fucking proud of how far I have come... all this to say, brutal but rewarding. if you have the opp... 'walk towards the sword' my moots & beloveds 💝🫂

I have since ended regular therapy sessions and only go on the one-off times I really need the extra support, but a question I grappled with for a long time (and sometimes still do!) was "how do I know I'm healed?"

I used to think of healing as this near-mythical - and frankly, unreachable - final destination for me. but I'm learning it's more about the journey and companions along the way and the many signposts on the path marking how far I have come (and that I still have a ways to go). anyway I blabbered on here too long but my point is healing is hopefully a familiar (and necessary) journey for us all in so many ways, and I for one welcome the unexpected companions that help us take another step forward (and catch you when you falter back) *looking at you, fanfic my beloved* and SDJ was such a vivid reminder of all of this for me

I could fuck with concepts like protagonist/deuteragonist/tritagonist (had to look that third one up to see if a term even existed tbh) but the truth is for me, each of voidy's trio are written like living breathing dimensional beloveds to me in how broken and tender and loving and human and flawed and mysterious they are and each of them in their own way are so beloved to me.

I have been reading bell hook's we real cool: black men & masculinity lately (deeply enjoyed her books all about love and feminism is for everybody - i understand she is not free from controversy after having devoured a bunch of her writing but i deeply fuck with her main theories that being rooted and motivated to love and be loved at the core of our humanity needs to involve having our eyes, hearts, minds, ears, and hands open to the experiences of fellow humans, particularly marginalized + POC voices) and one of the passages discussing healing from abuse was very SDJ/simon-coded to me...

"Many males have experienced traumatic sexual abuse in childhood. It scars them for life. And when they receive the message from the culture that real men should be able to endure abuse as a rite of passage and emerge with their sexual agency intact, there is no cultural space for them to articulate that they were sexually abused, that they are damaged and in need of sexual healing."

I will say for myself, the culmination of the trio's journey so far in SDJ, simon in particular - with whom I unfortunately share some of his canon trauma and SDJ-flavored hangups and anxieties - has made me feel so loved and seen, like meeting a good samaritan (or perhaps a service dog johnny) on the road to hold my hand wordlessly saying "you too? me too." and walk part of the journey with me, even for a brief stretch.. a happy accident or eucatastrophe of meeting someone at the right place at the right time like reader and johnny have been for simon in SDJ ❤️‍🩹🫶🌿

I've heard an oft-cited statistic that in a random crowd at least a quarter if not more of the people around you, regardless of gender, have most likely experienced abuse and assault than not. Finding a space to be seen and heard re: sharing about abuse and trauma - and god forbid perhaps even healed? in the year of our lorde 2024? - has in many ways been delegated to avenues that aren't readily available to most, financially and socially and relationally speaking - even nowadays. I'm in my mid-30s and I was only able to afford therapy several years ago, despite finally mustering the courage to start looking after years of patient coaxing and support from IRL beloveds, because my workplace decided to expand our mental health benefits + insurance during covid.

beyond my IRL beloveds who have been absolutely incredible sources of support, I am not even fucking joking when I say fan-motherfuckin-fiction kept me afloat mentally spiritually socially since my madstroteens to help me feel seen, heard, loved, and healed - basically free therapy until I could afford the real thing...but even as I say "the real thing" there has been nothing fucking realer to me than the growth and beauty and joy and catharsis in reading life in its heights and valleys and finding a bit of myself in fanfic...

I've heard it said that the profound is lurking behind the absurd and I am 1000% serious when I say the very cathartic and moving tales and tragedies and romances and adventures and lessons and wisdom in FANFICTION (for CALL OF DUTY!!!!!!!!!!!! no less) is absolutely fucking priceless to me - the world didn't give it and the world can't take it away, as it says somewhere in some good books

these made up stories and characters and scenarios in our heads have held my hand, my head, my heart when I have needed it most - and helped me do so for others - and created the most expansive safe space to explore in a free and nonjudgmental way that I can't really think of a real-world equivalent other than actual therapy or times when I've felt a deeper peace and affection touch me in sacred settings or in nature or maybe playing D&D with my IRLs lol

so yes, I wholeheartedly agree that while some of the loveliest writings are drawn from lived experiences, exploring something new in fiction, like readers exploring sexuality through throuplegate tags ghoap fics or asks about aromanticism... or cathartic healing words and gestures they may have yet to hear or receive in reader's and johnny's stalwart and carefully mapped, but also spontaneous and artesian support and tender care for simon... can have just as real and powerful of an impact on reader & writer as well!

and it can be so clearly seen in the absolutely incredible reblogs, asks, comments, and headcanons and side drabbles shared if you go through voidy's SDJ tags which I also so enjoyed reading alongside the story; it reminds me of ye olden days when I was a rabid LOTR fan and I re-watched the extended versions of the trilogies in multiple iterations via the cast, director, and producer commentaries

ok before I lose my train of thought entirely here because I was supposed to rant about what I loved about SDJ and I've just been adding to this monster of a draft for weeks on end rambleranting on and on about fanfic-

the reader!!!! the reader. I have been brought to tears multiple times by her selfsacrificing affection and deep love for simon, as well as how well she is able to disarm him in the moment with her humor

the humor!!! the fucking weaponized use of humor as character tell and development in this fic... i feel (and personally use) humor as a way of visibly lowering and bypassing the armor and walls we put up around others as if to say 'see? it's safe! I feel safe around you enough to joke around and I want you to know that. i invite you into this safe space in me, with me.' and the way time and again reader, simon, and johnny uses it like a sniper shot is fucking brilliant

a random selection of some of (I write 'some' fully knowing I'm gonna just copypaste the entire fucking story) my favorite lines below:

He’s always been up front with you about his trauma, how he can’t stomach touch unless it’s non-sexual. You’ve always known it would just be only you taking care of your own needs, and it’s something you’re more than happy to accept, because you love him. But how could you even conceptualize doing something like that? Letting someone else touch you when you’re in love with Simon.

Lines like these above is what makes reader so human and real to me. 💋👌mwahmwah exponential chef kisses for your literary cookin voidy💋👌

God, why is he still talking to you like that? It’s really, really hot, but are you allowed to enjoy it? Surely you are.

right there with you dear reader, been there before 😵‍💫

His eyes are practically burning into you with some type of excitement, though he doesn't let the rest of his face betray it. It's only because you know him so well that you see the unusual gleam there, and suspect that if you put your hand on his chest right now, his heart would be hitting your palm in a gallop ... He's interacting with your sexual desire for the first time, running his thumb over the crown of your head and watching you so intently that the orgasm warming your legs is starting to feel unavoidable.

Simon's journey to re-experience sexual desire as safe and healthy and normal again...I do not have enough words 😭😭 anyway brb crying my heart goes out to SDJ simon so much i want to hold his face and dick(WHO SAID THAT) in my hands and cradle him gently and tenderly

“It won’t, love." He waits for your your fingers to find your clit again, and for your eyes to slide shut, and he whispers, "Someday very soon, you’re going to get to cum while you’re bent over the bed, and someone’s hand is keeping your head pressed nicely into the covers. You won’t have to think about anything but staying right there and getting fucked, and you’ll be able to just relax, and take it for as long as you’re meant to.”

SDJ simon, like many of us, also seems to find refuge and safe sexual expression in fantasy 👀👀

Simon just smiles at you in that warm way, the slight curve of his mouth that doesn’t have even a hint of malice or dishonesty behind it. You’ve grown to trust it implicitly. 

🥹🥹🥹 this is so tender and lovely. mwah mwah mwah I would attack with so many cheek kisses for simon and voidy ✨

“Dinnae misrepresent me to your woman. I’ve had my share of romance.” “Learned that word on the way here, did you? You know you’re supposed to keep your eyes on the road.”

I fucking live for simon and johnny roasting each other 😂😂😂

The look of adoration he’s giving you sends a burst of fuzzy pink warmth through your chest.

🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹

“Simon,” you gasp, and then frantically backtrack over your mistake. “Sorry, sorry. I didn’t mean— oh-hhh my god.”

I looooved loved loved loved loved loved this slip of the tongue. one word speaks volumes <3

It’s glaringly obvious how wet you are, the bits of your underwear that stick to your ass as he works his hand against your cunt. 

ok I just want to say THIS IS SO REAL AND SO GODDAMN ANNOYING I HATE THAT FEELING LIKE THE OCEAN IS GIVING MY A WEDGIE where all my sometimes sensory issues girlies (gn) at

You figured out early on in the relationship that he loves affectionate threats of violence. 

me, recalling DMs with voidy: yes, yes this is also voidy

“He was just offered a shag, of course he is.”

😂😂😂

That gentle touch happens again, this time sending a wash of awareness though you, forcing you to look away from his eyes. You’re not allowed to feel like this when he’s touching you. This is forever off limits, that interested tingle between your legs.  Stop it, he’s just being sweet...“You’re turning me on,” you whisper. It’s what you’ve always done, any time he’s inadvertently touched you in a way that your body perceived as sexual. You always let him know, let him cut it out before it makes him feel a certain type of way. The last thing you want to do is find secret, perverted enjoyment in moments that would trigger him if he knew.  

sometimes I call reader 'saint' in my head, because I can't think of a better word to sum up her patience, love, sense of self-sacrifice, near catholic levels of guilt for feeling anything remotely self-focused, and desire to focus wholly on others' well-being before her own...and alternately, a saint is also usually a two-dimensional flat figure, devoid of needs and wants, there to absorb all the negative emotions and give, give, give...surely not a life fit for a regular-degular human girlfriend, dear reader 👀

This has never happened before. He’s never pushed himself this far, standing between your legs like this when you’re in your underwear. Why he’s doing it now, you can’t fathom, but this is his struggle. You have to trust that he won’t hold it against you if he gets too far past his limits.

me, screaming and gesticulating wildly: you can't fathom THAT SIMON LOVES YOU AND WANTS TO PUT HIMSELF OUT THERE FOR YOU TO TRY AND MEET YOU WHERE YOU'VE RETREATED LKE YOU HAVE DONE FOR HIM????

You know that’s not true. If anything, the deflection leads you to believe that he’s protecting Simon, like he told him something personal. 

something I find so interesting and perhaps a tad relatable - reader is a fucking psychic sometimes when it comes to reading others' intentions and feelings, and yet overly sus and cautious when it comes to seeing into herself (now why does that sound familar oh FUCK ITS-A ME, MARIO-)

He feels safe enough to touch himself with his friend here, but not when it’s just you? You glance back down to Johnny, heart galloping and anxiety expanding in your lungs as you make some unfortunate mental leaps.  Why did Simon choose Johnny for this? How can he be so very confident that he’ll take care of you? Has he done this before? Is this a thing they do? Simon gets a new girlfriend, and Johnny gets free sex? 

I've said this before somewhere but I theorize Johnny's presence for Simon make him feel safe for & from himself and sidenote: as a card-carrying woman I do not fault reader at. all. when it comes to her anxious spiral of thoughts here re: some men and their triflin ways

Maybe it’s just the post-nut clarity talking, but you realize for the first time that the reason isn’t because you want to keep him at arm’s length, it’s because you think you don’t deserve it.  This whole arrangement has felt like you’re living someone else’s life, someone who’s worth being looked after like this. It’s not something you’ve ever experienced before, and it feels so unsafe to venture into something new. It feels comfortable and familiar to decide that you can’t allow yourself to fully experience Johnny, that you must ration him instead, nibbling on little bits so you don’t grow too accustomed to the taste. You’ve been subconsciously depriving yourself, as if maintaining your unmet needs is crucial to making sure you don’t grow beyond the person you’ve always been. 

All of this + reader's reaction to perceiving crying as bad versus cathartic... early 20-something madstronaut, is that you

I have also wondered at the cost of arguably a huge part of herself (I believe we can and do change and accept ourselves and each other in and for love, kind of like moving but in tandem and rhythm, like a dance, but I'd argue reader in choosing simon and his particularities as her dance partner has also chosen to metaphorically tourniquet one of her limbs to do so) if maybe she is also crying out of personal grief and confusion as well. That razor-sharpness of post-nut clarity is too real... after deciding to give up her sex life as she knew it before for simon, then now suddenly exploring getting it back, and the whiplash of emotions while in an intense feedback loop of orgasms? gurrrrllll I would be bawling too, high-five

You think back over Johnny’s endless patience, how considerate and soft he’s been with you. How he went so slow the last time, giving you time to mentally prepare to be penetrated, making sure every touch was comfortable and enjoyable. And you consider for the first time that maybe Johnny isn’t just Simon-by-proxy for you. Maybe in a way, you are that, for Johnny. 

mmm, ghoapcrumbs WHO SAID THAT

Also honestly I love me some unreliable narrators (reader here imho isn't unreliable in her perspective being false or wrong but rather her deep deep love and devotion for simon can be almost blinding to other important perspectives like her own to also consider at times..) sometimes I just want to take her by her shoulders and stare her down and peptalk her aggressively just saying in increasingly louder volume "YOU ARE ALSO WORTHY OF LOVE, RESPECT, CARE, AND AFFECTION - THE SAME LEVEL, NOT NECESSARILY THE SAME WAY, YOU GIVE TO SIMON - AND THAT IS PERFECTLY FINE AND VALID"

Nine minutes and change later, you make the last turn and smile to see Johnny in sweat-soaked running clothes, propped up against a lamppost like he’s trying to pretend he’s there on purpose.

😂😂😂 "pretend he's there on purpose" WHO'S THE FUCKING DOBBER NOW

Johnny makes an acknowledging grunt and limps towards your car, and you swear his face looks a little more flushed than it was a minute ago....“Nah. Thanks for the lift.” Stubborn, and definitely embarrassed. 

oh look, pot, meet kettle...just two fucking dobbers (affectionate) who give like they have an infinite gaming glitch but hiss like those tiktok cats at the vet when they discover they *gasp* have their own needs

Johnny leans back on the couch to really look at you for the first time today, and it’s your turn to feel embarrassed. You feel like he’s somehow seeing more of you than is comfortable, and it makes you look away, towards the bright sky out the window.  “I should be getting back,” you deflect, tugging the keys out of your pocket. “I switched phones with him, and he might not like that when he wakes up.”

I can't explain how much I fucking love this first dynamic between reader and johnny sans simon. feels like watching a knifefight where their knives are their inability to just receive disguised as their sense of generosity and they keep holding themselves hostage hoping the other gives in/runs away lmao. also i'm re-reading this in later drafts and I have no idea if this makes sense sooo I apologize in advance for my latenight ramblin

You kiss him until you’re in love with his mouth...

🥰🥰🥰

also the flashback to their meet-cute (meet-wrestle?) is once again INCREDIBLE!!! as sex/touch-averse simon is, their body language speak volumes in those split-second matching responses to each others' reactions with the pendrop and the arm-wrestle tie. those magnetic "we click right away" interactions you have with certain folks is absolutely intoxicating

Simon’s not looking in your direction, but you can feel the ghost of his attention somehow, making you feel scrutinized and out of place here. You haven’t felt in place in so long, it’s like an ache in your chest.

I shivered at how good this line is!!!!! THE GHOST OF HIS ATTENTION- mmmpfffhhh

She proudly presents you with Simon’s number, scrawled in blue pen on her palm. And there, below it:  “You have lovely eyes”

my very first crush/love in high school also told me "I had lovely eyes" over AIM, made me very nostalgic 😂😂 Also can I just say laney you a real one; you went out of your way to go to bat for our girlie despite striking out yourself, a true sister indeed, pouring one out for you tonight

The sizzle of the onions begins to die as he closes the distance, and you shriek as he scoops you up into the air with a, “Where’s your fuckin knife now, you little ankle biter?”

i live for their horny-adjacent playfights

You wind back as far as you can, furiously smacking Simon’s ass with one solid hit, and you’re rewarded by his pained grunt and a satisfying sting to your palm.

fucking screeeeching

So, apparently Johnny is one of those absolute pieces of shit who can pick up any fine motor activity after the second or third try. 

I hate to expose myself like this but...*high-fives johnny*

It’s subdued now, in a way that would almost make you wonder if they’d been fighting about something, except that Simon still seems awfully relaxed. As he entwines your fingers, you realize it’s Johnny who’s bothered. Johnny, who's never bothered about anything, is now staring blankly at the TV, his eyes unmoving even though the players are darting across the field.

once again fascinated by the dynamic duos of this trio!!!! I told voidy once I read SDJ sometimes as a mystery/drama because I'm constantly edged kept in suspense about our trio's next moves and motivations

His fingers skim your jaw. “I don’t think you know… sort of… seeing how brave you are with all this. How much it helps.” 

my GOD. this plus my audible gasp when Simon finally touches reader sexually in ch. 10....beyond being incredibly sexy I also was very moved at the two (plus one) reaching this milestone and I have hornycried MULTIPLE times reading this fic

Everything these guys do feels sexy right now, and what’s worse is that Simon is sitting right across the table from you, and he’s thinking about you. It’s like he’s hit that sweet spot where he’s not so much in his head anymore, but he’s still a little turned on from what happened. You can feel it in his gaze, how it keeps wandering down the line of your shirt collar, keeps tracking the motion of your fingers while you hold your straw to drink. 

Being aware of anothers' attention and lust has got to be one of the most intoxicating and powerful feelings in the world 🥴

“Johnny,” you whine, desperate to get him to stop hurting himself. You need to stop enjoying this, you need to focus on his pain, but he’s making you forget yourself. He’s fucking you and holding your hand to the bed, and despite your best efforts, he’s making you need to cum. He’s making you hate your own pleasure, as it brings him more and more pain. 

the absolute deepdive into reader's psyche here in this little snippet is just *chef's french kiss*

When you get home that night, you take an everything shower. You paint your toenails and do your hair extra pretty, shave and lotion and basically make yourself as edible as you can be, because your baby’s coming home.  Suddenly you’re on your feet, sliding a little in your socks as you rush to meet him. He’s just finished flopping his bag onto the floor when your arms wrap around the most familiar, safe body you know, and then you’re home.

I get strong cuteness aggression vibes whenever I see reader being just absolutely adorable

You barely even comprehend how big he is, with how big this event feels in your heart.  So it’s bittersweet, seeing the aftermath of his success. You know it’s got to pain him, losing the control on his body and mind that he holds to such a standard in every other aspect of his life. He could have gone for years more, keeping a tight handle on things, dismissing the trauma and projecting that insecurity onto everyone else in unhealthy ways.  But he didn’t. He’s here, unable to even tolerate your touch just yet, with his lungs spasming and his eyes leaking in a way his father would find unforgivable. A grown man, coming to terms with his reality and letting others see his failings, people who love him. People he can depend on, not because of blood relation, but because he’s worked tirelessly to build and earn that deep kind of trust. 

🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹 I basically cry-read this whole chappie and also stopped in my tracks and gasped out loud when simon asked to fuck reader and definitely got out of bed screeching victoriously with joy after they Finally Did The Deed

You gingerly sit up and do your best to keep the cum dripping down your thigh instead of onto the bed. God, that’s Simon’s cum. That’s the best cum in the world right there. 

🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹

You round the corner of the hall, only to see the door still wide open, and your boyfriend with his head bent down, resting on Johnny’s shoulder. Johnny has an arm wrapped around Simon’s head and another around his shoulders, fisting his shirt and holding him tight. “That wasn’t a small thing,” Johnny’s whispering, cheek to cheek with his friend. “That wasn’t a small thing, mate.”

🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹

I'll be quite honest if SDJ ended here with this incredible milestone I would've still been happy as a clam.. I believe all wins big and small are worth celebratin

It’s kind of weird that you’re here. Technically this is where you live, but all of a sudden you have this feeling of not belonging here, of being unnecessary in this moment. You feel like you’re just outside, looking in on Simon’s journey, without actually being too relevant to the path of it. It could have been anyone, really. Pretty much anybody with a heart would have given him the same kind of love, helped him get to this result. You just got lucky enough to come into his life first, but this would have played out the same with anyone. 

reader my sweet READER DID YOU NOT PAY ATTENTION TO MY EIGHT-PART PEP TALK WHITEBOARD POWERPOINT PRESENTATION OF HOW AMAZING YOU ARE? as painful it is for me to read how self-deprecating as she is here...her perspective also betrays truly how deeply she sees and loves simon in how lovable she perceives him to be (and how willing she is to give him the sort of patient, kind, long-suffering commitment and devotion I have heard mused and preached about that someone like simon, nay all of us need and want)

Okay, maybe that’s not entirely accurate. The truth is, you want to get used. You’re not even that horny anymore, you just need to feel like you’re desired and important and useful for something.

👀👀 the way voidy is fucking reading the writing on the wall of my brain/pussy is near psychic to me 👀👀

In a roundabout sort of way, being selfish right now and not worrying about anyone else might be what’s best for everybody. There’s only so much you can give. 

Your reflection stares back at you in the mirror, with freshly moisturized skin and slightly tired eyes, and you have this unexpected wave of compassion for yourself. You’re only human. You had a big day, and a significant conversation, and you made it through the hard parts. Things are going to be okay now, because you chose right. You’ve poured yourself into people who actually deserve to have you, and it will all work out somehow in the end. 

🫂🫂🫂 i love this so much

He throws his legs over the side of the bed and stays there for a minute stretching his neck out, while you remain where you are, vibrating with anticipation. Finally he sighs and glances over his shoulder at you. “Suppose you’re allowed to get excited.”

the fucking GIGGLES that erupted from me... btw PSA if you haven't deduced it already i am madly in love with droll goofy SDJ simon and his dry-ass humor

You’re limp after that, merely a jellyfish washed up on the beach. Simon thinks it’s funny, keeps lifting your wrist in the air and then letting it flop to the mattress. He can’t even see it, but finds it entertaining all the same. 

god THIS FUCKIN SCENE i just fucking erupted in giggles but also teared at simon finding humor and joy and laughter in sex again

The anger is inescapable, bordering on full-on rage, though Soap’s face doesn’t move at all. He keeps it locked deep inside, reminding himself that this is good. This is healthy for Simon. This is what he’s always hoped for, companionship and romance for his large, quiet friend. The jealously is intrusive, and he doesn’t claim it as his own.

If I could I would happily spend hours picking through SDJ soap's brain like the basement book aisles at the strand bookstore.. I had a conversation with an IRL beloved recently about how we are only jealous with the things & people that matter most to us....oh johnny boy, don't be embarassed trying to dodge one of the most common and pervasive feelings known to humanity!!! follow the thread to your interior and let it show you something about yourself 👀 (or hell that's what I try to do when I've felt embarrassed about feeling jealous)

But the thing is, he doesn’t want to fuck anyone else. Everything here is so peaceful, even with the emotional turmoil. He can feel the acceptance in the air that these two have generated, soaking into his skin every time he visits here. Things aren’t okay, and that’s somehow okay. It boggles the mind.

ah what's the phrase, better the devil you know? I also fuck with the "finding comfort and familiarity in chaos" vibes though I am trying not to have that be my baseline norm of late

He hasn’t had a hookup since he started coming here. Far less sex than he’s grown used to, and yet he’s finding himself thinking about it less and less. It’s like the obsession with the chase and the release has finally lost its grip on him, and now the connection is what he finds himself thinking about. Fuck the connection. That’s the part that hurts people, and it honestly doesn’t make sense that he’s still feeling safe about it. It must be because they love each other. It’s a convenient buffer, the reason he decided to go through with this in the first place. The line has been drawn in the sand, and he just has to hope they’ll live up to their end of the bargain.

to this I'll just say my people, my IRL beloveds, are the people who saw and accepted me as I was, for who I am - and all my changing ebbs and flows throughout the years, even at my most broken and awful, and ironically their acceptance and love and care for me while I was at my lowest is what helped me more fully return to and be myself... I believe johnny is experiencing a glimpse of that here now 🥹 I am legally obligated to throw in one of my favorite quotes on this topic which I have mentioned before:

There is a twilight zone in our hearts that we ourselves cannot see. Even when we know quite a lot about ourselves-our gifts and weaknesses, our ambitions and aspirations, our motives and our drives-large parts of ourselves remain in the shadow of consciousness. This is a very good thing. We will always remain partially hidden to ourselves. Other people, especially those who love us, can often see our twilight zones better than we ourselves can. The way we are seen and understood by others is different from the way we see and understand ourselves. We will never fully know the significance of our presence in the lives of our friends. That's a grace, a grace that calls us not only to humility, but to a deep trust in those who love us. It is the twilight zones of our hearts where true friendships are born. - Henri Nouwen

Simon did it. It took years, and an angel of a girlfriend, but he fucking did it. It’s simply indescribable, the burst of hope flaming to life in Johnny’s chest. Good things can happen sometimes out of nowhere. Sometimes, in a random bed in a random city, the universe can push a piece back into place that was missing.

this has to be one of the most beautiful lines of prose I've ever read

You enjoy how safe your body feels with his touch, how it’s no longer a thought in your mind that he’s doing this out of pity. You’ve formed this strange sort of sexual bond, and friendship, and it makes sense to your pussy that he gets to touch it whenever he wants. 

ah, thinkin with the puss, we've all been there dear reader *pats the puss sagely* also such a simple sentence but one not to be taken for granted - no matter how hardcore the kink, feeling safety with your lover's touch is so so baseline important and crucial 💯

“Mhmm,” you tell Johnny, drawing out each syllable in a slow, breathy voice. “So sweet, and thoughtful, and you smell really… Mmmm... Really good.” Johnny raises his eyes to the ceiling, inhaling a long, frustrated breath. For what reason, you can’t imagine, because you’re certainly doing nothing wrong.

I am laughing my ass off because since first reading this voidy updated the chapter with the lovely @gorsime's incredible SDJ fanart and please, scroll down to the end of the chappie (ch 17) if you haven't seen it already

The guilt does start to hit a little, as you get dragged onto your actual boyfriendʼs lap, and a less-scruffy mouth presses to your cheek. You're being selfish. You've gotten too used to your wants being met, and you really need to dial it back down to just needs. This is simply a wakeup call, like hello, hereʼs reality, sometimes your own fingers are all you get, and thatʼs okay. 

I have wondered just how much of this was loosely choreographed & planned by johnny and simon for dear reader 👀

Up until now, sex with Johnny has been somewhat casual, and you haven’t embarrassed yourself too badly. But things are always different, when it’s Simon. Suddenly your heart’s in it. Suddenly your brain is pushed to the side, and all you can think about are brown eyes and big hands, and being as good as you can possibly be. And you’re unused to the feeling of having Johnny nearby when you’re so focused on giving yourself to Simon. 

once again, just deeply touched (and turned on) by the evolution of reader & simon's sexual relationship (good boy johnny)

He watches your eyes while his fingers trail down your belly, and to your utter shock you suddenly feel them on your pussy.

once again fuckin screamingggggggg! sometimes when you're in it for the long haul after seeing someone's borky bits and pieces, you'd be surprised how a bit (or more) of tender, trauma/person-specific love, kindness, care, and unusual paths of healing can have in speeding up the process of recovery...so much so that it can seem like a whiplash when you've resigned yourself to an eternity of seeing yourself/ur beloved as wounded/hurt and suddenly (but really not so suddenly!) you both meet A Healing/Healed version of Them/You - is this 2.0, or someone new? who knows!!!! what an adventure (it is currently 2am on a weeknight and I got work tomorrow as I ramble but I AM ON A ROLL also I made the mistake of telling voidy weeks ago that I thought I was gonna post this and hoo boy i am paying that price)

“Why don’t you go see Johnny?” Simon murmurs, giving your forehead one last kiss. “Get you something better than fingers.” “I think you should let her have something of yours,” comes Johnny’s voice, before you can begin to form a reply. “Cross my heart, I won’t look.”

literally yelled out loud omg HIS DICK? IS IT HIS DICK? HOLY SHIT SIMON'S DICK?????? the first time I read this

Your lungs know it’s happening before anything else does. They expand and then hold, and the next drop of your hips feels so good, as something deep inside you turns itself inside out. With a debilitating roll of sensation, you let out a pained cry and feel your cunt begin to brand itself onto him with pulse after pulse of your release.  It streams down your limbs and explodes in your belly, and it’s Simon who’s got you this time.

this is pure poetry!!! also something deep inside you turning inside out and streaming down your limbs has got to be one of the best descriptions of an orgasm ive read tbh ive only reeaally experienced a full-body endless orgasm after a ton of edging (like at least 15 min) which I don't have the patience or stamina for anymore ;-; but I still think about that One Magical Night from years ago when I did achieve this

It almost hurts to cum on something that big, but it’s a good kind of hurt.

🥴🤤🥴🤤 mmm iykyk but also yes, prep prep prep preparation is key

Your hand climbs up to his face, but instead of the rough five o’clock shadow you expect to find, the first thing you feel is something wet. He twists his face away, but it’s too late. You felt that line of dampness on the edge of his jaw. His fingers begin to stroke your hair, so you comfort him too. You run your hand across the muscled line of his shoulder, wishing there was something you could say to make it better. Maybe someday when you’re better with words, you can let him know how it feels to have him connected to you like this, to have both of your hearts wide open and witnessing each other. But all you can do right now is caress his neck and plant a little kiss on the skin you can reach, and whisper that you love him. That he’s doing such a good job, and you see his efforts. You see him. 

🥹🥹🥹🥹 AAAAND JUST LIKE THAT I AM CRYING AGAIN GOD THIS HAS TO BE SOME KIND OF NEW UNIQUE KINK IVE DEVELOPED WITH THE EMOTIONAL WHIPLASH OF THE HORNYCRYING OF IT ALL

“Doin’ alright?” he asks, hugging you back because he’s a very nice person. 

I am so so curious what soap was thinking as he witnessed this little miracle (which came about in no small part thanks to him, that soap, such a saint he is, so kind and selfless and giving and- *cut off by loud explosion*)

You know now, why he didn’t let you cum before. He let you think he was being mean, in order to give you an experience you never thought you’d have. Johnny gave that to you, for no reason other than he knew it would make you happy, and he was the only one who could.  The noise he makes when you take him into yourself is so Johnny. It’s half groan, half breathy laugh, mirroring the way he seems to see his sexuality as a game. He just wants you to play with him, that’s all. A little tug on his hair, a little smile while you kiss him, he eats it up. So you do it. You play with him for the noises, because he likes it. You can’t get enough of him, that’s the problem. Yeah, the sex is fun, and necessary at times, but you just like having him in your house. You like those hands that never hurt you, the sunshine in his voice, those eyes that know when to pretend they don’t see things. It’s just who he is. 

that post-nut clarity kickin in for reader I see

“Johnny, I like you.” You just barely catch the way his smile drops away, as you take him into your mouth. He’s in it now. No more flirting, no more foreplay. He’s ready for you to get him to your throat, and let him cum in it.

no noo too much post-nut clarity GO BACK READER GO BAC- 😂

“You don’t get to decide that what people need are the things you want them to need. Tea?”

HAHAHA SIMOOOOOOOON TENSION DIFFUSER EXTRAORDINAIRE

I just want to say, shoutout to all my girlies (gn) who can come from a shower head; that shit is just too laser-focused for me to get off 😵‍💫

The way you’d cried and cried over that. It hurts so fucking bad, missing him the way you do, while knowing there’s really no legitimate reason to feel sad. 

no legitimate reaso- GIRL HE TURNED YOU INTO A LITERAL SHOWER HEAD, JESUS HIMSELF WOULD WEEP-

He gave and gave, and in a weird way, it left you feeling used. It feels like he stole something from you, by not opening himself up in return.

✨oh, familiar pathways of coping and perceiving trauma responses, is that you✨

“Alright.” You hold the damp towel to your chest and stand there with a few feet of distance separating you, and give him the truth. “You don’t feel safe with me if Johnny’s not in the picture, and I don’t understand why.”

there's got to be something poetic about reader having this convo while butt nakey

What’s he playing at? He’s just standing there, looking at you like you’re something new and interesting. Like he’s redrawing some kind of perception in his mind, and enjoying the outcome. 

not even gonna lie, started crying reading that last line ruminating on how far simon has come... 🥹🥹🥹 so proud of these little freaks (supremely affectionate)

“You’re trying to turn me on, but tough titties, I’m already wet.”

reader is basically horny shakespeare to me 😘👌 fucking love her humor

“You’ll tell me if there’s anything you don’t like.” “I will,” you promise. He brings his mouth down to give you a kiss. “...Even if you think it’s something I want.” “You don’t get to have fun, only me,” you recite with a smile.  “Good girl.” You get rewarded with another soft kiss, and a firm circle over your clit. “Might have to fool around a bit, it’s been some years for me.” “I have my appointments cleared for the rest of the night.” “Mmmm.” He takes in a long inhale, curling his finger around the gusset of your underwear to start tugging it off. “I like you.”  ‘I like you too, baby.”

ur not crying im crying i mean wait what aNYWAY this is my umpteenth readthru of this because this fucking chapter!!!!! my god I was speechless the first few times around and in some sort of holy awe and pride and joy and deep in the feels from he SEX!!! THEY HAD SEX!!! WITHOUT JOHNNY AROUND!!! (but really, I see and hear echoes of johnny in simon's newly gained sexual confidence around reader 👀👀👀)

“Yeah, stuff it. What I bloody well mean is, I thought we’d have time. Because you and me, it’s… it’s going to be a long thing. And I thought we’d get there eventually, and we have.”

🥹🥹🥹🥹

“I won’t,” you promise, running your thumb across the scars on his cheek that you have to consciously notice to even remember they’re there. He’s just so beautiful. It’s not an opinion, or something you’ve talked yourself into, it just is. Some people will look the same however long you know them, but every now and then you meet a Simon Riley who’s just so wonderful that their face turns into something perfect in your eyes. 

I love them both so much 🥹🥹🥹🥹 is this not what love is, how reader sees simon

So apparently post-nut clarity Simon is fucking annoying.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

It makes you wonder if something inside him died tonight. Something other people put there, and you both just decided to kill it, because it was time.

once again...pure fucking poetry that has again, left me hornycrying...and again I'd die happy if this fic ended here. i mean, purely sexually speaking, hast thine service not been fulfilled here, loyal johnny boy 👀

I have a friend whose family used to raise seeing eye/service dogs on her farm growing up (yes yes I know her fam could've be doin numbers on the clock app today) and talked about how the training to weed out which puppos were eligible was clocking the ones who could most suppress their instincts & nature to obey and pre-empt needs in their obedience.... everytime I see one out in public I am always a little in awe of how professional it is but also a little secretly heartbroken at the same time for that little puppo that was trained out of itself so early...maybe projecting a little but sometimes I also feel some type of way at seeing that line boasting that Johnny is the youngest SAS recruit as his claim to fame also why i love 141 AUs so much where they are living their best civilian life untouched by war

He’s talking about something inside him, something that settled wrong in his heart today. He saw something about himself that scared him. Maybe it was something new, or maybe it was old and buried, but it violated his personal code in some way. There’s nothing you can do about that. You can’t reach into his chest and dig it out, as much as you wish you could. All you have are your eyes, looking at him now like he isn’t a monster at all, and he never could be.

this incredible fic is still ongoing but I am reminded in so many ways how powerful a simple word, a gaze, a touch, can be in reaching out to share and extend a bit of healing and love - and if that's too lofty a goal, then just to offer acknowledgement and presence.

I think of how much both reader and johnny and even simon with reader shortchange themselves so much throughout the story so far and yet the fruit of their consistent presence in each other's lives is so fucking masterfully crafted and yielded in the latter chapters in the most cathartically rewarding way. I know I am changed from reading about their tender and patient kindness and humor for each other so really to all the people moaning 'bout throuplegate let's be honest this is more of a polycule if we consider simon, reader, johnny, you, me, and voidy 😂😂😂

I mentioned approximately 17 years ago when I first started writing this ramble on asking, "how do we know when we are healed?"

my therapist and I had long, long chats about 'neuroplasticity,' but I knew it when my heart & mind & body responded to it all, combined with the love and support from my IRLs, by replacing one of my persistent nightmares with a new recurring dream - it's been a while, but I dreamt it again after reading SDJ the first time around, and I woke up smiling and crying thinking of simon & reader & johnny & voidy & you <3

I am sitting in a large patch of sunbeam streaming in through my window. my body, normally covered with blood and torn skin and shiny bits of glass leaking out from my wounds, looks different. As I sit in the sunlight my entire body becomes transparent, like oil, or the clear wax of a long burning candle. I become soluble enough to see all those jagged shards inside me and begin easily plucking them out one by one. I see now it's not just glass but claws, teeth, nails - old memories, but all still leftover and festering inside me. I wonder at the source of this change and notice where my heart would be is a wick, and sitting in the sunlight has lit it aflame. as I watch my body become clearer and clearer, I see the rest of all those shards fall out and my wounds softening, blurring, closing up. I move out of the sun and get ready to venture out. My heart still glows and burns steadily, and I remain solvent. Some people reach out with claws, teeth, nails - and find themselves horribly burned by the hot oil as they swipe harmlessly through me and leave no marks. Some people reach out with open hands and arms, and find themselves softening, melting and old wounds and scars under their skins blurring and closing up. I am envisioning where i used to see broken glass inside me, whole, healing, filled with light and water. Like a sunrise and morning inside me. 

all this to say, to voidy, and my fellow readers, and fic writers in general - thank you & I love you, for holding my hand and making my days and night a little bit softer & brighter 💛💚❤️‍🩹🌿✨

my fucking god I really really am genuinely contemplating making an invoice to submit to my insurance so that voidy can be duly compensated for tangibly contributing to my positive mental health and growth this year ✨✨✨ mwah mwah mwah mwah so many aggressively affectionate playfully nonromantic chef's kisses for you 💋💋💋 mwah mwah mwa mawh-[devolves into snoring from writing most of this in the wee midnight morning hours between colds, flus, traveling, tears, conventions, funerals, zooms, trains, planes, podcasts-]

A fuckin timely banger of a read from this morning’s commute:

“A sacrament is when something holy happens. It is transparent time, time you can see through to something deep inside time. Needless to say church isn’t the only place where holy happens. Sacramental moments can occur at any moment, at any place, and to anybody. Watching something get born. Making love. A walk on the beach. Somebody coming to see you when you’re sick. A meal with people you love. Looking into a stranger’s eyes and finding out they are not a stranger’s. If we weren’t blind as bats, we might see that life itself is sacramental.” - Frederick Buechner

🌿🌿🌿 thank you stevie for being my latenight crooner and ramblin companion

[whole-circus]

hi hi!! i absolutely love ur page, u write so well <3

i was wondering if you could do hcs of jeff dating a male nurse reader with a quite cold personality but certain soft spots for jeff, both sfw and nsfw? tysm!!

take ur time. u just started taking reqs and im sure there’s more than one asks in ur inbox, take care !

NSWF&SWF || Jeff the killer and BEN Drowned x male nurse reader!

➥ Hi hello and thank you so much! Here you go! :)

Im sorry that it turned out pretty short T^T

And I saw your edit to request, no worries!! I promise its all good, no need to apologize sweetheart!! You haven't done anything wrong, mistakes happen :3

.•┈••✦ 🖤 ✦••┈•.

Jeff The Killer

SWF

☆ Cold boy with a soft spot for one person? The best trope that could ever exist tbh. Jeff absolutely adores you, and he is the same - meanie to everyone but his boyfriend! Loves that about you, his possesive and jealous side is also pretty content with that :) I mean..you make him feel so special!

☆ Please, please patch him up..! Jeff gets into so many fights..and well he is a serial killer.. so he gets a lot wounds that need to be taken care of! He would never let somebody esle do it, and he is terrible at self-care so he absolutely needs you!

☆ Also dont tell that anybody...but he would comfort you after hard days !! Are you hungry? Thirsty..? Man will order you something! Are you tired? Sore? He would offer you a massage (he sucks at them but appreciate it!) or a hot bath! And if you just want to sleep? He will cuddle with you, and if you are up to it then watch something.

NSWF

☆ Learning male anatomy.. Oh? Wanna practice..? Well guess what..you have the best model here! You can touch all of his parts, he isn't the shy one! I promise he will make it fun! But after all, its the best to learn in practice, right?

☆ Will make you suck his dick in your pretty uniform.. Dunno but it just make him so weak..and so horny lol You on your knees in front of him?? Oh my god! He would put his hard, and long dick into your mouth..making you gagging and feeling him in your throat! He just loves that..Would cum into your mouth,grabbing your chin/hair to look down at you, and make you swallow! „Do you enjoying having your mouth filled with cum, silly boy..?”

☆ Jeff would be into quickies before job. Sex with him is often pretty messy - even if you dont have a lot of time! He just loves the fact that he ruins you so much.. You got all pretty looking for your job? To bad, now you need to correct your look - and better make it fast, you need to go out in a couple minutes! „Tell me about everything you like about having my huge cock buried deep inside you baby..” - he whisper to your ear, in his low husky voice, as he fucks you hard.

BEN Drowned

SWF

☆ Ah?? A mean boy?? He is so in love!! And if it comes out that you have soft spot for him?? You will make him die! He loves to be pampered and he loves to be loved!! Also..not to overuse you being a nurse..but take care of him, please. I know he is theoretically dead, but he have many bad habits, for example he eat poorly and rarely or he sleep too little (if he even sleep at all).

☆ God,he is such a simp for you!! Like really, he would do anything for you..you show him that much love and care? He is so special to you, that you have a soft spot for him? Again - melting! Would do everything to you..just say the word and he will bring you it on his knees lol

☆ I bet people can be suprised that you and Ben are in relationship. You are pretty diffrent from eachother, he is really outgoing and loves people, but you? A cold man?? What kind of mix is that?? No worries (i mean, not like you care about people opinions), if someone somehow will discover that you can be softie then they will totally see that you are made for eachother! ..just saying that Ben is chatterbox..

NSWF

☆ Come on..I mean nurse kink... He would love to role play with you. Just you in your uniform wakes something in this wild men. Imagine him laying in bed, fully naked..becasue you need to do your job and examine him <3 Massage his prostate, your warm fingers going so deep into his hole.. Dont forget to check his puls on neck..maybe when holding your hand around his silly throat? And finally his hard member..your hands touching his heavy balls (you need to squeeze them, just to make sure everything is alright) and his quivering cock! Oh? Is he sick? Mhm..I bet you must cure him then..? How about fucking his brains out? Voilà! You cured him mr. Y/N!

☆ Oh I believe Ben is absolutely a switch, he loves being sub deep down. Please let him suck your dick if he will be a good boy for you.. He would absolutely beg for you, he dreams of seeing your soft thighs again and again - and of course seeing your pretty cock. Definitely will beg for your seed when he is being deepthroated by you..?! I promise he wont waste any single drop! „Please..please let me suck your cock until you cum all over my face..”

☆ Okay but..guide masturbation! Doesn't matter if in person..or if you are way away (maybe duriing your break in work??)..just do this! Ofc he could jerk off alone but where is the fun in that? :(( And as I mentioned earlier - loves being dominated and told what to do. There is something intimate in this kind of things too! „Please sir..please i cant..only you can make me feel soo good..”

.•┈••✦ 🖤 ✦••┈•.

[itagakimizuki]

8 shows to get to know me tagged by @freensrcha @i-got-the-feels @itsallaboutbl - thank you lovelies for tagging me this 💗 took me awhile to list them down but here they are...

Goblin - this show was how this blog existed. i posted a bunch of horrendous looking gifs (which idek what was it bck then) i just thought those moving images looked cool so i tried to edit some of those funny scenes! learn as i go by and here i am today!

The Rise of Phoenixes - sort of the first cdrama that i fell in love with. never had my heart ached for a love story this bad istg nini and chen kun's chemistry was too good i wanna cry just thinking back abt it.

Word of Honor - ngl it was either this or guardian but i was totally invested in this more...? bcs i literally bought that hairpin from their official merch shop from taobao yup so i definitely went a little cray cray over this show.

Winter Begonia - my appreciation for everything classic / oldies! especially the peking opera scenes MAGNIFICENT IM IN AWE this show always have a special place in my heart.

all the High&Low franchise - a life changer! i used to only watch japanese horror movies but after this one, i started to really give japanese films/shows more attention. also if you want to familiarized yourself with j actors? watch this lol!!

Gannibal - right amount of everything horror and gory! if this show doesn't get a second season idek what are they doing tbh

Cursed in Love/Watashitachi wa Douka Shiteiru - i binge watched this one in a day!! so definitely deserved a shoutout! it's a fall in love with the enemy that sort of thing but give me their love because i want it!!!

KINNPORSCHE - like do i need to explain any further? ok maybe i will.. this show has impacted my life in good ways like i got to know and talk to a lot of amazing blogs/people out there and got me back to doing gifs and helped me through some stressful times so the existence of this show is literally god sent i guess? lol

i will tag @aoyamariku @nonkul @troubledmindzzz @ohsehunny @markpakin (only if you want to share absolutely no pressure whatsoever!)

[lightlycareless]

chapter 26 driving me insane,,, such good good character building for the rest of the cast! so happy to see new updates!

hinata,, if theres anyone to be worried about when it comes to making y/n not want to stay, its not naoya i can tell you that. i wonder how she’d feel about y/n and naoaki?? she seems the type to not trust any of the zenin’s, no matter how much naoaki does to prove himself trustworthy.

also the LETTERS?? WHATS GOING ON. WHOS STEALING THEM?? unless i’ve misremembered severely, y/n sent one back but hasnt received one from hinata, which means someones intercepted hers? is the thievery ren mentioned connected or a red herring?? i gotta start detectiving this,,

1. naoaki: i don’t believe it. he would never. even if he were to get shady i don’t believe he’d intercept their letters. why? vibes. he’s just Not The Type 2 me

2. naoya: quite frankly i don’t think he’s smart enough for that kind of subterfuge. he’d rather get in her face about it and demand to know why she’s sending letters (aka “why aren’t you talking to me :(“) and thats presuming he even knows its happening- he’s had enough to deal with already. don’t think its him.

i don’t think any of the named characters so far would be both motivated and/or able to intercept them,,, someone new then?? b-plot? drama? im so excited

OMG HI!!!! How are you?? ❤❤❤❤

I'm so glad you liked the new chapter!! I was hoping to see your outlook on it actually 🥺❤❤❤ I always enjoy reading your asks 😭because they always leave me thinking 👀👀❤

Anyways, thank you for your lovely words! I really like writing Hinata, like allot.

Her perfect, righteous persona is just so fun (and a bit ridiculous) to write tbh, there's just something about the overprotective older sibling trope that I just love... to break hahahahah I needed to show Hinata a bit miserable, you know? She always seemed to be on top of things, but c'mon, her younger sister is basically kidnapped and her family is refusing to help her 💀 something must affect her one way or the other.

Ren is keeping cool, because he needs to. If he were to freak out I think it would only tense her even more than she already is 😭I also love portraying the overprotective sibling on him :> specially on him, but we'll see that later on.

As for the letters...

who knows? HAHAHAHHA

jk

I mentioned once in the previous chapters, I think on the one where Hinata visits Y/N, during the conversation with Naoya that there's an overall crisis going on in the jujutsu community (geto) which has them in a really tough position—there's allot of sorcerers acting against one another, some under geto's jurisdiction, other just because they can and want to use him as a scapegoat.

Amongst those actions, mail theft. It might not be that much, but considering how certain governments still rely on mailing official/confidential things instead of sending them electronically, I assumed jujutsu HQ would do the same. Meaning, there's a reason to intercept these letters: in order to get some juicy details 👀

I envision the main victims to be active sorcerers and important families, tho. Unfortunately, their letters can't be handpicked so some civilians might find themselves thinking "What happened to my parcels?!"

In other words, there have been different incidents across the country, and Ren (wanting to reassure himself and his sister before either snapped) wished to believe your "silence" had to do with that.😭

Now... let's also remember that the elders from the L/N clan really want this marriage to exist essentially forever, so even with Sumire's attempts... they might've just outsmarted her as well 🥴 It would only be natural to assume so, considering she's Y/N's best friend and there might be a stronger loyalty towards her vs them.

But if we want to kick it up a notch, let's include Eiichi into our list of suspects :> because he's been very willing to play along with the elders and has been doing nothing but keeping quiet. omg, imagine the kind of reaction Hinata would have if that was the case??!?! I would kill him ngl. Guess we'll just have to wait and see 🤭

Now, Hinata's reaction towards Naoaki is a pretty interesting one 👀 It reminds me of the halloween drabble I wrote, she was completely uninterested in Naoaki, but did not hate him, unlike Naoya 💀

But circling back to your point, you're absolutely right. She would have a hard time accepting Naoaki, he'd have to straight up do a miracle or something to be welcomed into her social circle. Maybe her perception on him would somewhat soften once she hears that he's been helping Y/N contact her, but she'll probably say something like "it's the bare minimum after what your family did" oof.

Well, he'll keep trying. But I fear that if Hinata keeps "attacking" him one way or the other he might be like "Y/N, I don't want your family to hate you for being with me... so it's better if we part ways" AND I'D CRY. Unironically, this might be the moment where Hinata is finally convinced he's not that bad hahaha

As for Naoaki, I don't think there's anything that could hint it was him having something to do with the letters, outside of sending them lol. I know he's done some rather questionable things (that one part where he's like: um, maybe you can convince Naoya to not have the twins as servants was 🤢🤮), and I understand why it was received badly, but he's done so many things to prove himself trustworthy too😭 and that's not something I can say about Naoya, if anything, he just gets worse and worse haha we also gotta take into account the kind of background he grew up in, he had everything and then he lost it, not only that, he was completely abandoned by his family. He kind of relates to Y/N like that (with her losing her family, freedom, and the abuse she suggested under his family), and it's more than obvious that he wants her to be happy. He's trying :( man, f the zen'in clan 😭

and omg Naoya 😭😭😭😭“why aren’t you talking to me :(“ HAHAHAH I laughed out loud for real. He's like "write all the letters you want, but at least write one to me :(" silly Naoya, the one thing Y/N should be writing up is a divorce and a lawsuit tbh. Once again, you're spot on! He's too... busy with everything that's happening in his life right now (oh boy imagine how the elders chewed him up after failing his exam ahahha MORE TO COME ON CHAPTER 28) and he relied on Junko to keep Y/N at bay, so yeah, he does not suspect a thing... he really trusts the clan that doesn't like him haha.

If this was pre-failure, he would've been absolutely pissed, I dread to think what would happen with Y/N :( not even Ranta would be able to stop him (doubt he could anyways but... yeah).

But post-failure, when he's finally realizing that maybe he's the reason his marriage with Y/N is shit... who knows :>? Let's not forget Naoya literally returned as a curse because he was too stubborn to admit defeat by Maki (and her mother) 💀 soooooo.......................

In other words, we don't know yet what's up with the letters :( there's too many things to account for, Hinata being busy, mail theft, outside forces working against Y/N, to find an appropiate conclusion. It could really be everything and nothing at the same time.

But I do know that all will be revealed in time :)

Once again, thank you so much for your ask 🥺❤ I'm so glad you continued to support this story even after my hiatus, and for that, I'll be eternally grateful 🥺

Hope you have a wonderful week, take care, and see you soon ❤❤❤

[mosviqu]

well i mean at least u get ur thoughts out of ur system ig?!😭

THAT BUTTON IS SUCH A STRUGGLE ACTUALLY LMAO AND IM GLAD IM NOT ALONE WITH IT 🥸 and idk if i have asks on tbh so i will have to figure that out or sumn:o but jsjndnfmgmfmf the fact that u think of telling me things just makes me sjhdnfjgkd/pos i feel very honored cuz of it lmao🥹

YESSS PEOPLE WANT HIS EMOJI TO BE A CAT BUT THE STRAWBERRY WOULD BE SO PREFECT FOR HIM LIKE PLSSS 😭gaslighting is not going to be needed cuz the songs will be good (manifesting so hard bro) wahhh can't wait till enhas album is out cuz the songs will actually slap so hard and i really hope u will like them as well but a bit of the title got leaked and some people didn't like it so;-;

SAME I COULDNT TALK ABOUT LOVEJOY WITH ANYONE REALLY SO U ARE MY SAVIOR!! I LOVE THAT REACTION LMAO TBH I HAD TO REPLAY PORTRAIT CUZ I WAS LIKE NO WAY IT CAN GET BETTER THAN THIS THEN I WAS LIKE NO WAY THEY JUST OUTDID THEMSELVES!!! u are so super right!!!!! i feel like everyone watching wilbur's mc vids should be a lovejoy stan!!! i really hope he never stops mentioning european cities they just have a special place in my heart and i really hope they will go to bratislava !!! AND OKAY PLS DO IWOULD LOVE TO SEE MORE LOVEJOY THINGS and ngl i also can't listen to them without thinking of u😭

THE SPACE BUNS WERE SO UNEXPECTED (or at least to me it was) AND JUST SO GREAT!! I ACTUALLY NEED JIHOONS HAIR TO BE LIKE THAT FOR A LONG WHILE!!!I LOVE UR LAYOUTS AND LOVE JIHOON!!! and as u should tbh changing layouts is fun probs one of my fav things to do (and i deff need to change mine lmao its a bit of clapped) (LIEBESTRAUM ANON💞💓)

u dont have asks on but i can always dm u ig 😌😌 which brings me to a question HOW DID U LIKE THE ENHYPEN ALBUM TELL ME TELL ME TELL ME I NEED TO KNOW YOUR THOUGHTS !!!! yes i think of telling u things because in my mind we are basically besties.

I mean im down for a cat emoji too because come on... he IS one but the strawberry is so cute i need it to be a strawberry😭😭😭😭 i fucking love strawberries and everything abt the aesthetic that comes w them HHHH i love your manifestation 💗 the album is already good altho it doesnt exist yet and i am a strong believer of that💗💗💗

i am a portrait of a blank slate defender at all times if someone DARES to say a bad word abt the song i'll bring out a gun. also im a lovejoy stan first, human second 😌😌 so im glad i found someone i can scream to about them AHAHA. I did show my brother lovejoy songs once and he did enjoy them and was in DISBELIEF that its wilburs band but i dont think his knowledge of the songs comes further than the few listens he had w me 😭😭 but im pretty sure one of his parody songs was his top song on spotify one year so :,)

they were kinda unexpected with his eboy image but also kind of expected because he's babygirl 😭😭 I NEED HIM TO WEAR THEM MORE also thank u for loving my layouts i try. Also have u seen the clip of him singing super by svt on a live i almost cried he he HE.

also your theme is not clapped i actually kinda dig it ngl 😭😭

[delicrieux]

☆ﾐ 𝚖𝚊𝚔𝚎 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚜𝚊𝚢 “𝚘𝚑”

PART 10: BIG DICK IS BACK IN TOWN

y/n is back in brooklyn for the holidays. thinking that a stream will make her feel less homesick for cali, she starts working on her famously titled hentai.free.srv. what was supposed to be a relaxing stream turns into a special delivery about two hours in.

─── corpse husband x reader ─── soc. media + written fiction! ─── word count: 2.2k ─── ❥ req: Here's one... You know those apps for delivery like Domino's or whatnot... What if reader is streaming Among Us with Corpse, and reader mentions they're hungry and Corpse offers to order them food, and readers like no no it's fine... Then there's delivery at the door (Corpse ordered beforehand) 

author’s note: fucky format is also back in town baby!!! also if you find any mistakes - no u didnt <3 thank u everyone for enjoying this story sm i literally cant believe how feral yall going strawberry cow was a nuclear explosion im still recovering tbh. got an ask a while ago and decided to incorporate it into myso. happy holidays everyone! myso will continue on monday!

ultimate masterlist.  ҉  myso masterlist   ҉   previous.  ҉   next.

✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼

✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼

Indeed, being soft on any social media platform was the biggest disgrace and needed to be eliminated post haste. Moreover, it was a slippery slope - once you start flooding your timeline with cute imagery and heart emojis, what will stop you from posting inspirational Facebook quotes? Disgusting. If Rae were here, she would chide you (not you thinking about her as if she’s dead or something). For once in your life, you feel like you deserve it. 

Alas, you hope this little chaos you’ve caused is enough to throw everyone off. The stans, especially. You know the hashtags, you’ve seen ARMY scourging for info online with the same fervor and ruthlessness 1 Direction fans hacked airport security cameras just to spy on the boys. If you had any dirty secrets online, they are out to the public now - thankfully, besides the Harry Styles stan account (with edits and all), you have nothing. Though, now that you think about it, exposed nudes would have been better than your Punk!Harry edit receiving almost a million views. God, your life’s a fucking mess.

Your fans aren’t the only ones out for info - you, too, are trying to decipher Rae’s message. Code: Barbecue Sauce. The two of you had come up with it roughly two years ago, around the same time when you promised that if you didn’t find significant others by the time you’re 40, you’ll just marry each other. It was one of the many rules found in your friendship codex. Barbecue Sauce signifies information - an exchange of information. And depending on how it ends or begins (”So I’m sitting there” alludes to Rae, “On my titties” alludes to you), secret data on that person is given away, usually free of charge. 

But why? And to whom did Rae give away what? You had pestered her mercilessly and even sent some voice messages where you were crying. You were only crying because of a video of a grandpa smiling you saw on TikTok, but you are a snake, and so you put those tears to good use. If streaming doesn’t work out, you’ll just become an actress. Hollywood would love you. Your PR firm sure as fuck wouldn’t, though.

Rae was having none of it. She said you’ll figure it out eventually. Told you to channel your superior puzzle skills. You were quick to remind her that you can barely count to ten without having an aneurysm. Oddly serious, she admitted that she worries for you sometimes. Why only sometimes?! you demanded. She merely sighed. uttering under her breath something that sounded closely to “Boke.”

You leave her for barely a week and she’s already neck deep in the gay volleyball anime, hoodie and cardboard cutout and everything. Your life is falling apart.

But Brooklyn is nice. It had snowed when you stepped off of the plane. Thousands of snowflakes sprinkling into your hair, dotting your cheeks and nose. You missed this sight back in Cali. You missed your parents, too. 

Home cooked meals, old sweaters, your old room and about 40GB worth of old high school pictures on your computer. You went through them all one night. Some were stomach churning, cringe inducing nightmares. You were especially fond of those. Texted some of your friends that were still in Brooklyn, met up, decided to bake. Bad idea, Rae was the resident chef back in Cali. Besides laughing till your stomach hurt, and almost burning down your kitchen, nothing all that significant happened. Somewhere down the line, at about 3 am, half-way through a cheesy rom-com you had the overwhelming urge to text Corpse.

That’s where the problems really started. God, you missed California, missed being in the same timezone with a guy you hadn’t even met yet, how embarrassing is that?! You missed skating around and taking pictures of the beach in the setting sun, sending it to him, silently wishing he was with you to admire the view. 

You really want to call him. And to hang out with him. But for some reason, the thought of that springs up immediate anxiety and you shy away from asking. Him sending you cute good morning texts doesn’t help, either. Maybe it’s better he doesn’t know that you’re a blushing, stuttering mess each time you read “baby”. 

Late evening. Your stream is already set up, people are slowly trickling in and you greet them with a grin and a soft “Hello! Hi hi!”. You did your best to make your room a perfectly chaotic backdrop - led lights, an embarrassing amount of anime merch and plushies. You always try to balance out your weeb side by dressing hot as fuck for your streams - today’s inspiration just so happens to be egirls. Mostly because you watched one too many egirl make-up tutorials on TikTok, and also because you’ve been listening to Corpse’s song all day.

Yeah, no, who are you kidding, you dressed up this way because you were hoping Corpse was watching your stream. You didn’t forget your cat headphones, either. You know he likes them. You want to make him suffer. Perhaps then, finally, he will ask you out, so you wouldn’t have to.

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“I feel like,” You start when you put away your phone, staring idly at the chat, “I feel like I need a new name for you guys. Calling you guys after two years of streaming is just... weird, no? I also don’t respect men so I don’t want to call you guys. Like, so many creator’s have, like, a name for their fans. Uhm, Cody Ko has the chodesters, Kurtis Conner has, uh, folks? Kurtis Town? Citizens! Markiplier has mommy issues--” You can’t help snorting, “So, I’ve been, like, thinking - I know, shocking! - so I was thinking I’m gonna name you cockroaches. Because you’re grimy little shits impossible to kill. And also then I can use the legendary Minaj meme ROACHES!”

Your stream enthusiastically echoes ROACHES, making the chat swim. Yes, if anyone would enjoy such a name, it would be your audience. You’re as equally proud as you are disturbed.

“Well, anyway.” Leaning back into your chair, you throw your arms out with a bright grin, “Big dick is back in town, baby! If you noticed the backdrops different, it’s cuz I’m in Brooklyn now. Don’t ask me when I will return to Always Sunny, I don’t plan that far ahead.”

While Minecraft boots up, you decide to answer a few questions.

r u dating sykkuno?

You want to smack your head into the keyboard, but as it is, you can’t exactly afford a new one, so you refrain, “No, Sykkuno and I are not dating, we are just good friends. Uhm, I’m not sure how much I’ll have to repeat this, but, we really aren’t, so if the roaches could chill - Oh my God, that sounds so stupid, I love it - uh, yeah, if the roaches could chill that’d be great.”

the roaches lmao sounds like we’re a sports team

“Oh shit, yeah it does, uh-- maybe I can make like, jerseys or something. That’d be cool, I think.”

how disappointed are your parents with the way your life turned out?

“My parents are actually not disappointed at all!” You say with a cute little smile, “Uhm, they’re both really proud, actually. They’re glad I found something I love doing and made a job outta it. Dad finds my Youtube videos endearing. Yes, they watch pretty much all of my videos, unless I explicitly tell them not to. And yeah, with all the fucks and thirsting for anime characters. Uhm, it was very embarrassing at first, but I mean, after a while, shame just...doesn’t exist anymore, I guess? Funny thing about my parents, actually, when they watch my videos-” You eye catches a comment, “Oh! No, they only watch my Youtube videos. They don’t know how to use Twitter, thank God. Uhm, anyway-- when they hear a name they don’t know, like, I dunno, Dabi, or something, they google--” You’re grinning by now, eyes crinkling, giggling softly, “--who that is, and buy me like, merch and stuff. It’s really cute. 

can i be adopted by ur parents plz

will you and corpse ever collab?!

You were about to answer, though the man of the hour himself decides to do it for you.

Corpse_Husband: yes.

Okay, not to say your heart skipped a beat, but it totally did. With a pleased smile, you nod, like one of those bobble head toys sold at the dollar store. The motion is oddly reminiscent of Sykkuno’s own nod. Perhaps you had picked it up from him. The chat seems to notice.

pack it up, sykkuno

More questions pile about this mysterious collab you and Corpse are planning. Yeah, you’d like to hear more about it, too, since he single highhandedly decided one was happening right now. Corpse remains silent. Fine, keep your secrets. 

“Okay, guys, oh, I mean, roaches, Oh my God--” You’re covering your mouth, giggling, “-calling all roaches, calling all roaches, calm down. Everyone grab a snack and a blanket I’m turning up the music volume so we can all chill. Entering chill zone. Entering chill zone. Roaches, prepare.”

we are prepared

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An hour or so passes and you grow hungry. It shows with the amount of cakes you had baked in your server. Currently, you find yourself throwing eggs at the wall of one of the renovated houses, your face scrunched in concentration and slight frustration. 24 of the 50 eggs have been wasted. “What’s a girl gotta do to get some chicks around here?” you had uttered under your breath, until, finally, a screech - the egg finally spawns a mob. Your mouth falls open, “Aww, look!” You approach it, so small, walking in zigzags beside you, “It’s a baby chicken! Die, bitch.” The baby chicken is no more as you swing your bedazzled (you have mods) diamond sword. You’re cackling by the time the dust settles.

y/n is a child murderer

“Roaches,” You address your fan-base, spurring another fit of laughter - you can’t get over the name, “I think I’m like, forgetting that eating in Minecraft won’t actually make less hungry in real life.”

take a break and go eat queen <3

“Fuck no, we starve and die like men. Now I actually really need another chicken.”

Another twenty minutes trickle by and you’re trying to lure back a panda from the jungle when there’s a knock on your bedroom’s door. Whipping your head to the side, you slide down your headphones. At the same time, your mom pokes her head through the ajar door, “MOM!” You scream, “Get OUT of my room I’m playing Minecraft!” But your yell has no actual bite to it, as you don’t manage to hide your smile. Your mom laughs, doing some sort of sign language and motioning for you to follow her with her head. That or it’s some sort of performative dance. 

“I’m live right now,” You tell her, pointing at your screen. She knows this already, though, “do you want to say hi?” 

The roaches spam the chat with friendly hellos. You mom, quite impatient now, waves you over. 

“Sorry, roaches, mom needs something. Be back in a bit!”

Stopping the stream, you rush out of your seat and pleased she slinks into the hallway. “What’s this about?”

“Your pizza came.”

“My what now?” You echo, confused.

“Domino’s. You ordered pizza?”

“What? No? I was busy with the stream, I never--”

Thankfully, you had managed to grab your phone from your room before you exited. You almost choke on spit once you read the messages.

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You decide that it’ll be impossible to stream after experiencing what you had just experienced. You tweet out a quick apology to the roaches (God, that fucking name) and say that you had a breakdown but you’re okay. That is as a close to the truth as you managed to muster. It’s a sad sight, chewing and crying; your mom winced when she saw your state - disheveled hair and rundown eyeliner and everything. “D’aww,” She had muttered, caressing the top of your head, “don’t cry my little raccoon.”

If anyone was ever to ask you where did your chaotic nature come from, you’d answer with my mom. To make yourself feel better, you took a selfie - duck face and peace sign and the horrible 2000′s angle. Sent it to Rae. 

looking hot, her message read. 

thanks, was all you replied with.

You couldn’t just leave things as they were. Once you calmed down, you wanted to text Corpse, but how would you follow up the ungodly caps lock and screeching? Impossible. An idea sprung to mind, one that was brave. Taking the first step.

Instead of sending a text, you sent a voice memo.

“Thank you for the pizza, it was delicious.”

You voice still sounded a bit raspy. His reply was instant. Your heart skipped a beat. He sent a voice memo back.

“Glad you liked it, baby.”

He was going to be the death of you.

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tags (in italics is those i couldn’t tag! make sure all’s ok w your settings!) : @littlebabysandboxburritos - @fairywriter-oracle - @tsukishimawh0re - @ofstarsanddreams - @bbecc-a - @annshit - @leahh19 - @letsloveimagines - @bellomi-clarke - @wineandionysus - @guiltydols - @onephootinfrontoftheother - @liamakorn - @thirstyfangirl - @lilysdaydreams - @pan-ini - @mxqicshxp - @tanchosanke - @yoshinorecommends - @flightsandfantasy - @liljennyx3 - @slashersdream - @unknown-and-invisible - @sinister-sleep - @fivedicksinatrenchcoat - @mercury–moon - @peterparkerspjsuit - @unstableye - @simonsbluee - @shinyshimaagain - @ppopty - @siriuslystupid - @crapimahuman - @ofthedewthesunlight - @mythicalamphitrite - @artsyally - @corpsesimpp - @corpsewhitetee - @corpse-husbandsimp - @hyp-oh-critical - @roses-and-grasses - @rhyrhy462 - @sparklylandflaplawyer - @charbkgo - @airwaveee - @creativedogs - @kaitlyn2907 - @loxbbg - @afuckingunicornn - @fleurmoon - @yeolliedokai - @truly-dionysus - @multi-fandom-central707

more tags are in the comments bcs tumblr only allows me to tag 50 people max 💙

[chasingfictions]

i am always and forever obsessed w ur buffy takes,,, please bless us with ur cangel thoughts if u are so inclined. if not just know that im obsessed w ur writing for darla especially "it's his culture angelus" i lost it at that

omg thank you so much this is so sweet????? also dkfjdksfs writing coparents dangel is :))))) my greatest joy :))) (LITERALLY murder and bloodshed is connor's culture and they have to pass it onto him!!!! )

my cangel thoughts aren't as developed as any of my btvs thoughts tbh bc i havent done a comprehensive angel rewatch in forever ! though i am rewatching scattered episodes for my rewrite series.

that SAID. i feel like for me cangel works whenever ats works? which is to say i really LOVE s1-s3 cangel :))) @willowrosenboob and i have been talking about this literally nonstop lately (and also she is THEE leading cangelism scholar so jot that down) also so this is really on my mind but just the way that!!! ats as a show has such a Woman Problem and hates to write women as full people especially when those women are love interests and especially when those women are romantically significant to angel :))) premiere misogyny show of the early 2000s :))) but bc romantic cangel doesn't develop in a fully realized way until season 3, cordelia and angel are able to develop this whole dynamic that's just so!!!!!! it's the way they're kind of perfect for each other actually it's the way that angel just has this brick wall of dourness and bullshit around him at all times but cordy is so persistent and doesn't give a shit and being around her forces him to be an actual person in a way none of his other relationships do. and as for angel being well suited to cordy. i mean listen. he's not good enough for her. get that man away from all women until he works his shit out or until someone stakes him.

THAT SAID. cordelia loves angel and considers him her best friend and believes in him and if that's who she wants then i support her !!!! and there's the way that like,, for all that cordelia is beautiful and effervescent and social and yada yada yada, she's also a freak??? she's also a fucking weirdo???? i saw this take on twitter today that was reposting a take from instagram that i think sums it up well:

and i just!!!! im a sucker for them as life partners and best friends and business partners and them as both sucked into this fight against evil with primordial forces bigger than them !!!! and also the way they both are able to blossom into full people with each other!!! i love how theyre obsessed with each other!!!!!!! angel is like if you so much as lay a finger on cordelia i will stomp you to death with my hooves. cordelia is like oh??? you dont think angel is the goodest and most special bestest guy???? okay how does it feel to be WRONG??? i mean okay. SHE'S wrong. but she's also in love with him!!!! i just think theyre adorable!!! theyre fucking dorks!!!!! remember when cordelia in a universe where she hasnt seen angel since 1999 kisses him to save him from insanity and takes that insanity on herself and how it's such a beautiful representation of how they're well suited because it's cordelia rising to the call of heroism when no one would expect that of her but at the end of the day she is fundamentally kind and giving and brave and the way angel, for all that ats forgets this at times, isnt a natural hero, like at his core he is Just Some Guy who stuff keeps happening to and just!!! cangel as a ship about mundanity and domesticity and growing up and also about the tenderness and love and selflessness contained within mundanity and how that is the most beautiful thing of all and im gonna SCREAM

... . that said. ats s4 exists.

like the way ats s3 finale without context is SO GOOD but then is SQUANDERED and the show decides it doesnt mean anything or if it does, the thing that it means is about nihilism and the inevitability of loss and the impossibility of happiness i FUCKING GUESS???? because cordy and angel are separated against their wills and instead of that being about a piece of their story that's LITERALLY the END, that's the LAST TIME they EVER see each other when they're fully Them and cordy isn't amnesiac or possessed or a ghost like think about that for a second and tell me you dont also want to be sunk to the bottom of the ocean by your vengeful mystically-aged part-vampire antichrist son (... once again i havent done a full watch of ats in ages so if there's any time in s4 when cordelia is Really Cordelia i might have that wrong??? so lmk)

and then the way that once cordelia is being officially written as angel's love interest, she starts to get infected with ats' Woman Problem and becomes this kind of Beatrice to Angel's Dante (i mean she's LITERALLY in heaven i could write a whole thing about this). she becomes this larger than life figure who represents the paragon of all goodness and angel's will to keep striving for better and ultimately feeds into angel's (the show and the character) deep and abiding madonna-whore complex....

ANYWAY manifesting an alternate ats s4-s5 where cordy comes back from heaven and she's not possessed and her and angel have to learn to have a real adult relationship and angel has to unlearn all of his woman baggage bullshit and also they develop a lot of complex methods to be able to have sex. by manifesting i mean i AM including that into my rewrite. current methods include snapping a rubber band on angel's wrist if he looks too happy like when someone's trying to quit smoking / spraying him with water like a cat / playing recordings of spike insulting him while they fuck.

everyone pls write in with additional ideas on how cangel can fuck thank u pls consider this an open call. a contest. first prize goes to whoever gives me the most brain damage <3

[everythings-a-feather]

ok so now that we have the whole season I redid the tier list (I belive by @polkadotbrat)

and very quick thoughts, these were supposed to be a sentence each but I couldnt help myself

ma poule tier- its all the felix episodes cuz I am only invested in him at this point) strike back may be my overall fav this season cuz I was torn between wanting felix to be the dog and the peacock but strike back let me have my cake and eat it too also ik that felix giving hawkie the whole miracle box is like an awful betrayal or whatever but the miraculous zoo is gone thank god tho the ladynoir moment had me feeling empty and I just cant empathise with marinette at all at this point because none of the things she actually fucked up this whole season blew up in her face she just got played by felix and honestly good for felix. Also isnt lucky charms whole thing "it gives you what you need not what you want" and it pointed at felix, when Marinette could have picked up Adrien from the past TM before risk was active instead of Felix whos just unaffected. tho maybe its just that in Felix the episode its established that he can throw with dead accuracy so the lucky charm lead her to felix because hes good at throwing??? idk man ML is weird with this stuff

silver medal- Psychomedian almost made it to ma poule because ladynoir my formerly beloved but as my investment in them as of end of season 4 is dead its getting knocked down a tier. Crocoduel, purple tigress my beloved. Glaciator 2, Marichat shenanigans were very fun. WIshmaker, I like luka in this one and if the show pretends ephemeral never happened and he gets to do actual things I might actually like luka overall. Rocketear, angst my beloved, spawned good fics, detective nino was funny.

did something for someone- Gang of Secrets, eh honestly idc but the adressing of Marinette being stressed is nice, Hack-san, I liked scarabella and chats dynamic, please let there be canon bridgette so that felila is guaranteed to never happen tho canon bri will also need a personality shift (maybe be more Lawful Good than she already was to balance Felix being chaos energy?). Optigami- smart plan ig. Mister Pigeon 72, all it did was convince me that it should have been Marigami and Lukeadrien not Adrigami and Lukanette tbh, Hawkmoth x Mr Pigeon my... I wanna say crack ship beloved but I seriously think Feluka could work and Im not sure if theyre aware of each others existence since Luka isnt in Adriens class (Im not rewatching "Felix" to confirm this). Sentibubbler, congrats Alya stans? closest to being in the next tier

(un) bothered- Dearest family, I had hopes but the episode is eh. Furious Fu- Order of the guardians should have stayed dead. Guilt trip- Marinette... please Adrien almost has this covered. Penalteam, eh, powers underutilised here, tho I really like Penalty. Megaleech, SAMG was wasted on this episode. Truth and Lies- (total deadpan) oh no Lukanette and Adrigami the two ships we saw develop so much on screen and I was completely emotionally invested in and that the NY special didnt tell us broke up immediately after they started dating, seriously tho I cant take lukanette seriously as a pairing and Adrigami has potential but im kinda eh also Kagami literally has the "I will lose the love triangle" hair so.

Incredible anger- EPHEMERAL MY BELOATHED "BUT I DONT LIKE CHAT NOIR" GIRL WDYM WE SEE THE WAY YOU TWO LOOK AT EACH OTHER LUKA SPEEDRAN MY BELOVED TO MY BELOATHED EPHEMERAL LOOKED UGLY THE WRITERS DIDNT UNDERSTAND WHY PEOPLE LIKE CHAT BLANC. Kuro neko, almost everything @parismystere has said about this episode, I was clowning and hoping it would be a "adrien I need you to be a temp cat while I find Chat Noir" while Felix is in town idc about the middle but Adrien does tell felix he is chat so Felix as adrien says "oh well I happen to know chat noirs identity-" and gives the ring back to adrien while also solving the "we cant reach chat cuz no one knows his identity" problem cuz 'Adrien' knows who chat is, also this would tip them off to something fishy going on with Felix' well... Id say betrayal but for that Felix would have had to have been on their side and Felix doesnt seem to be interested in LB and CNs miraculous anyway. Sole Crusher and Queen Banana- Zoe my beloathed, also Id watch Chloes movie over whatever garbage they were actually filming any day, a chaotic bad movie is always better than a boring one.

I couldnt finish Qilin or simpleman and I dont wanna waste energy on them

[i-prefer-base-twelve]

Hi !! AO3 doesn’t let me comment for whatever reason, but i just wanted to stop by to say I absolutely love “Night in The Woods”, like gOD i love how you write the characters (for me feels very canon and a really good read on their personality) and the ‘reader’ (i use the interactive fics extension to change her alias to my name im sorry sksksksk i wanted to be self indulgent)

I loved the ddmd campaign we got (I’m really into rpgs even tho i have no friends to play with, so reading about is as much fun as ill get) and the interactions with the Pines Family and obviously specially Ford, iN THE LAST CHAPTER WHEN HE CHECKS OUR EYES TO MAKE SURE BILL HASNT COME BACK (I still haven’t recovered from that)

OH which reminds me (i wrote like a whole comment that you know made sense when i read the latest chapter but Ao3 ate it up twice, so im doing this by memory after getting home from night class, sorry for the chaotic energy) I wanted to say that i just love how much of a good job you do with making the readers reactions to things we, as the audience, already know from watching the show, as realistic as possible with the amount of information she has

Anyways this was supposed to be a short message and now it’s a whole page, sorry, read it whenever you have time and answer when/IF you want to, i just needed to put this out into the universe, hope you have a great day/afternoon/night !!

Firstly, everyone needs to stop apologizing for long comments. My ideal comment is a sentence-by-sentence reaction liveblog. So. THANK YOU for this abundance of kind words 💖, it really made my day. I didn't know there was an extension to change the name, that's great! I'm glad one exists and I'm glad you're using it, I may have to go install it myself. I mean, "Juneau" isn't her real name anyway ;)

It's so hard to find a good ttrpg group! (Especially if you, like me, are into the more "experimental" ones.) I hope you can find some folks. Ford is really gonna have to explain that whole "just checking to see if you're possessed" business at some point. I'm sure that'll go well. It's a real challenge, to write a character that knows so much less than the reader, and tbh I wasn't sure if I was doing it right. So I'm really glad to hear you're enjoying it. For real for real, thank you for reading, and for dropping me this message 🥑🥑🥑

[doctapuella]

top five (or ten if you have enough of them) fluffiest boys

OKAY ANON WOW YOU ANNIHILATED ME WITH THIS im sorry it took so long but it was necessary to think for a bit. *clickbait voice* top ten fluffy boys, under the cut [because im incapable of just writing a list and had to offer commentary as well]

1) eric carr. best fluffy boy. my fuckin everything. i feel like i'm going to melt into a gross little puddle just thinking about how much i love this boy and how important he is to me. like, a level of intensity that is so high that i hardly talk about him bc he's so overwhelming (positive). the fluff of this boy is insane. he's got the fluff and the energy to sustain my entire existence and i'm forever thankful for that.

2) vivian campbell. disclaimer that he's only fluffy early on, and his fluffy peak was the mid/late 80s. but when he was fluffy, boy was he fluffy. cutest bean, wicked guitar skills, no complaints. also his era of sluttiest shirts (not to be confused with his sluttiest era, which was the no-shirts era of the late 90s/00s). he's still pretty fluffy with the longer hair, especially early on, but idk something about shorter fluffy viv is so special to me.

3) dave meniketti. another limited time fluff, but FUCK what a glorious time. i was like okay yeah sure kinda into y&t, yeah, and dave is cute and sings and has fuckin wild guitar skills. BUT THEN i watched a show from the 70s and??? oh my god fluffy 70s dave broke something within me.

4) neal schon. would still be mega fluffy if he kept his hair longer. but oh my god i just??? im very very weak for this boy, especially in the phase post-mustache but with the longer curly hair. i gotta be honest tho, even with the mustache, i love fluffy 70s neal so so so much.

5) paul taylor. when i hear 'fluffy boy' he immediately pops into my mind. he's also fuckin tall, easily tallest fluffy boy on this list. he's just a tower of fluff and is so incredibly underappreciated so obviously he needs to be the core of this list.

6) juan croucier. just???? idk another one that i get emotional about because i fucking love ratt so much and he's so talented and like, his stage presence combined with the fluff? *chefs kiss* truly the best vibes honestly.

7) jeff labar. platonic ideal of a fluffy boy tbh. he's so smol that his fluff just ends up being next level amazing. @electric--love is the real jeff fluff expert here, i just visit the area sometimes. what a fuckin boy.

8) fred coury. cannot leave out jeff's bandmate because both of them are fluffy and glorious. when it's shorter his hair is very fluffy in a curly-puffy way, but then like he grows it out and it's fluffy in a whole new way???? boy has versatility and i love him for it.

9) jake e lee. the stupid fucking amount of talent he's got. i know this is all supposed to be about fluff but my faves tend to go along with personality and talent and so like, i can't separate all that. but especially badlands-era jake, his hair is SO LONG and the VOLUME i cannot even describe how beautiful.

10) frankie banali. going full circle, he's kinda like the knockoff brand of eric. idk there's always something a little bit feral about drummers, and i think fluffy hair vibe really meshes well with that. i don't know a ton about him compared to the others bc im still pretty early on my quiet riot journey but i'm super vibing so far.

[byesexualsatan]

OTPS/SHIP LIST

i feel like you get to know people better when you know what they ship so... here’s a list of my past & current ships ?? im bored, can u tell?

also if u know me, ignore this ty 

MILEVEN aka LITERAL KIDS PLS😭

mike wheeler and eleven/jane hopper from stranger things

otp in late 2017

personal hcs: they’re queer/bi. 

eleven def uses they/them pronouns

tbh i prefer byler and elmax now

background ships i like: joyce/hopper, jonathan/nancy... steve being bi and robin being the iconic lesbian that she is

DAMONA aka simonte

... simona and dante from the argentinian series simona

LMAO this one is from when i thought i was straight

otp in 2018

uhh bi dante and pan simona bc why not

literally forgot they existed until now

please don’t bully me

i truly thought i was straight

background ships: marisiena, junior/ailín

i was one of THE FOUNDERS of this ship istg... i was THERE when we were deciding the ship name (i voted for simonte but damona won smh)

SIMBAR aka bi awakening 

simón and ambar from the disney tv show soy luna 

yeah... sorry

otp in mid 2018

they’re gay!!! 

bi she/they punk ambar yesyesyes

totally forgot about them but they’re sexc af

so glad they were endgame

background ships: idk but luna is pan 

STEVEBUCKY aka stucky aka the end of the line

so... steve rogers (captain america) and bucky barnes (the winter soldier) 

otp in late 2018/early 2019? 

personal hcs: trans steve, bi bucky 

favourite fanfic trope: found family, high school smau

fuck endgame, all my homies hate endgame

background ships i like: thorbruce, scotthope, nat/sharon

im with u til the end of the line, pal :c

PERALTIAGO aka jamy 

jake peralta and amy santiago from brooklyn nine nine

started shipping them in 2018/2019 (i have no idea)

personal hcs: bi jake

favourite fanfic trope: casefics, pretend marriage 

(THEY’RE FUCKING MARRIED WITH CHILD NOW,,, BUT IN THOSE FICS IT WASN’T REAL YET)

background ships i like: gina and rosa, holt and kevin

PETERMJ aka spideychelle

peter parker (spider-man) and michelle mj jones !!1! from the mcu

otp in 2019

personal hcs: they’re both bi, mj is demisexual too

he/they & she/they solidarity

... trans/demiboy peter and demigirl mj🥺 

fav fanfic trope: school trip to stark tower, meeting the parents/avengers, smau 

obviously let’s ignore infinity war and endgame

background ships i like: ironstrange, pepperony, shuri/any woman

THORBRUCE aka gammahammer aka gays in space

thor odinson and bruce banner (hulk) from the mcu

started shipping them in 2019

personal hcs: thor also likes women

they both use they/them and neopronouns too 

fav fanfic trope: university au, smau, no civil war, no infinity war

this one is from my stan twitter era

background ships: stucky, tony/strange, nat/sharon, scotthope

CARMUEL aka spanish sexiest couple

carla rosón and samuel garcía from élite

otp in late 2019

...they’re bi. bc yes. and he/they samuel. 

she/vers carla sounds very sexc to me

i ‘shipped’ them in s1 simply bc they were both very hot and when it became canon in s2 i SCREAMED

deserved so much better.

INEFFABLE HUSBANDS aka i almost forgot about this one, sorry

crowley and aziraphale from good omens

uhh started shipping them in 2019/2020 ?

bi genderfluid crowley, non-binary aziraphale

idk they’re being anyways

fav trope: raising children!! confusing ppl bc crowley is sometimes a snake!!

background ships: uhh anathema & newton ig?

WOLFSTAR aka the one true way (and... puppies, too??)

sirius black and remus lupin from the harry potter saga

otp since 2020 (thank u, @aretheygayvideos​)

personal hcs: he/they gay sirius, he/they bi remus 

also love nonbinary remus and genderqueer sirius

fav fanfic trope: getting together !!!! FLUFF!!!!

background ships i like: jegulus, regulus/barty jr, dorlene, jily

VILLANEVE aka murdering wlw

villanelle and eve polastri from killing eve

s.s.t in 2020

she/they bisexual villanelle and pansexual eve

fav fanfic trope: flower/coffee shop :)

ty tumblr for spaming my dashboard when s3 came out bc that forced me to watch it to understand all the posts

sandra oh is the love of my life

ANDERPERRY aka this one is for the depressed dark academia folk

neil perry and todd anderson from dead poets society 

started shipping them in 2020

personal hcs: nonbinary neil, trans todd, both gay/androsexual

demiboy/nonbinary todd has a special place in my heart

fav fanfic trope: ALIVE!NEIL, roommates

background ships i like: charlie/knox, meeks/pitts

ZUKKA aka my favourite blue/red gays

sokka and zuko from avatar the last airbender < 3

started shipping them in 2020

personal hcs: gay zuko, genderfluid and bisexual sokka

sokka has adhd !! zuko is autistic !

favourite fanfic trope: fake dating

background ships i like: suki/yue*, ty lee/azula/mai, kataang

* please go check out s4pphos’ ig edit of them 

CASMUND aka royal pirate gays !!

caspian x and edmund pevensie from the chronicles of narnia

started shipping them in dec. 2020

personal hcs: bi caspian, mlm edmund 

love bisexual and nonbinary edmund too bc 👉projecting👈

fav fanfic trope: just. the plot of the movies but gay.

background ships: the dawn treader (ha-ha, get it? bc ship? im so funny)

tbh i don’t REALLY ship them that hard i just hate caspian/susan lmao

(susan is a lesbian)

BELLARKE aka m/f sexual tension™

bellamy blake and clarke griffin from the 100

started shipping them in 2021

personal hcs: she/they/xe bi clarke, he/ze omni bellamy

favourite fanfic trope: single parent bellamy, modern au (college, roommates)

i saw 2 seasons with my mom and then moved so,,, fuck i gotta finish it

EXTRAS

the “i don’t really ship them but if they’re together it’s better”

ty lee and mai

john watson and sherlock holmes

suki and yue

regulus black and james potter

azula and katara

regulus black and barty crouch jr

bugs bunny and daffy duck

emma and mr knightley

carol danvers and maria rambeau 

valkyrie and carol danvers

natasha romanoff and sharon carter

sam wilson and bucky barnes !!! (post endgame)

charlie “nuwanda” dalton and knox overstreet

dorcas meadowes and marlene mckinnon

azula, ty lee and mai

klaus hargreeves and dave

paul coates and alec hardy

cassie and maddy

jules and rue 

rue and lexi

fleabag and the hot priest

. . . more to add, probably

[pumpkinpaix]

Thank you for that translation post. Tbh I think you and hunxi and other users being flooded with requests in the wake of CQLs rise in popularity are handling the pressures and inevitable discomforts with a lot of grace and patience that you’re not obligated to show. I have never personally met an English translation of my native tongue that didn’t fill me with unease. I love languages in general, and can fumble through a few of them enough to be considered multilingual. 1/

I love translations too, for their variety, their uncertainty, the special something that each translator puts into their work, because no two native speakers will ever translate a complex sentence the same way on the first try, in any language. And there is a beauty in that, because it goes beyond language and into the way we perceive the physical world, the nuances, the way we think and feel about things. 2/

But I think for a lot of us who never chose to exist in primarily english-speaking places, our native tongue can sometimes feel like a raw wound, because a lot of times (and I know most english speakers never mean it this way) we’re made to feel as if our native tongue is inferior. As if the peak value of our complex, emotionally vibrant and culturally rich language is its eventual English translation, which can feel pretty shitty, regardless of the language. 3/

Especially, as you said, when we begin to lose some of it, precisely due to overwhelming pressure of english-speaking spaces. It’s like adding insult to injury. So I know I get defensive a lot when it comes to my native tongue, because it doesn’t translate well into English, and it shouldn’t have to, in order to have richness and value. But the fact that I have difficulty communicating with my grandmother because 4/

I can’t simply substitute every fifth or tenth word with English when I can’t remember the correct one in my tongue probably makes me so much more protective of the words I still DO have. In any case, I want you to know that a lot of us appreciate the fuck out of you, your patience, and everything you’ve contributed to the fandom. Zewu-Jun is 泽芜君 and he shouldn’t have to be anything else in any other language.  5/5

(again, referring to this post)

anon, everything you said is such a Mood, thank you. i would quote half of this back to you essentially just to be like !!!! yeah that!! that’s the feeling. the slow, latent trauma of linguistic alienation. the defensiveness. the unease. thank you for putting that into words too!! the thing you said about being more protective of the words you do have? yeah. it took me a very long time to come to an understanding of zewu-jun, because I didn’t know those characters when I first encountered them. it took work! so of course now I’m not eager to try and re-transmute my understanding into something else that will inevitably fall short.

anyways, I’m really glad you think me and the others are doing a good job ahaha. because ultimately, even though I’m defensive and possessive about it, I do think that trying to reach out instead of close off is a better avenue. people are trying, after all! and that matters. even if im frustrated and salting in my dms all the time about the latest ice cold take i saw on my dash aslkdjflk. i try to keep that energy out of my posts, so I’m happy to hear you think it’s working 😆 i’ve been in other fandoms where popular, resource-type blogs could be really cruel to the people in the askbox--which I understand too, because. well, no one is obligated to be nice to a racist anon in their inbox, no matter how unintentional. but I was perpetually unhappy in those fandoms because I was terrified I would ask an innocuous question to the wrong person and be absolutely flayed alive for it. and I would rather mdzs and cql not become that, at least where I spend my time. so I guess, thank you! and everyone else!! for showing me that my effort hasn’t been wasted. 💛