#they always say im bisexual and not a real lesbian because i recognise attractiveness in men sometimes lmfao

[sandinmybed]

i want to turn anon back on because i feel like people would send me asks more but every time i turn it on i get insane anons sending me lesbophobic hate because i stan dudes

[discyours]

(1/3) Not sure im in a position to help, but maybe hearing other people on their sexuality can help you? IDK, disregard this if you want :) its ok. I'm a straight trans man, for years now i've assumed I was either gay or bisexual because I mistook a desire to *be* a man as a desire to *be with* a man. I came to the conclusion I was straight after realising I could never love a man romantically the same way I could a woman and that when I imagined being with a man in a real life relationship, and

(2/3) you know, imagining everything of a relationship APART FROM sex, I just realised I couldn’t do that, it made me incredibly uncomfortable. For me personally, I think my “attraction” to men have been a mix of a desire to BE bio-male and the fact I found gay porn before (and early into) my transition. I managed to latch onto it as an escape from being a lesbian because being a lesbian would suggest I was female and you know, dysphoria™. Then that set off a fetish/kink (whicher it is)

(3/3) for gay relationships (read: SEX) because porn is/can become an addiction. I still struggle with that now, even though I know i’m straight. Enough of my sexuality story though, I came across another reblog as I typed this. I’d say if you’re not *physically attracted* to men, then you’re prob not bi. I can be attracted to personalities too, and I can recognise when men are attractive in general. But them being male makes relationships a huge NO. Anyways, good luck on figuring out sexuality.

 Hey, hope my 3 part ask doesn’t come across as rude or anything. I just know for me, hearing about other’s experiences in situations i’m struggling/struggled with helped me, so maybe it could help you. Best of luck, even if you can’t figure it out, maybe an idea would be to just play it (dating) by ear and then just stop whenever you feel uncomfortable. idk.

Thank you so much for sharing, it does help to hear other people’s experiences! And don’t worry, you didn’t come off as rude.

I actually strongly relate to occasionally confusing envy with attraction, I’m glad that’s not something I’m alone in. I also find it really interesting that you’re separating (the concept of) relationships from sex, that’s not something I’ve ever thought to do before and actually extremely useful in my situation (somewhat similar to yours). Now that I’m thinking about it, I’ve always been extremely uncomfortable around anything romantic with men, moreso than anything sexual (only since being hypersexual though, obviously). 

I’m still not completely sure (and I’m probably gonna have to accept that I never 100% will be) but this helped a lot, thank you.