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imliketheiceifreeze · 2 years ago

Text

Human Miles Quaritch x Original character

American dream

She is a Polish girl in America Tall, tan, hot blonde called Anya I asked her 'Why would you wanna be a Hollywood wife?' "Because I don't wanna end up living in a dive on Vine A dive on Vine"

Warnings: Smut (and I mean pure filth), swearing, abuse of power, age gap, minors DNI

Short story (porn without plot)

4,841 words

It was late one evening in the RDA base, almost everyone had rotated back to earth by now, all of my squamates had been so cheerful as they wished me goodbye, talking of the parents, children, husbands that were waiting for them back home. That thought made me sigh as I took another generous gulp of my beer, it tasted like shit but was one of the only drinks at the bar and I wasn't planning on being sober tonight. The bar was almost empty aside from one other person who I noticed had also chosen to stay on pandora-my Colonel, Colonel Quaritch.

I wondered what his reasons were for staying, I knew my own, but the thought of him having no-one to go home to spiked an unusual feeling in my chest. I couldn't deny I had always been sweet on the Colonel-probably on account of my copious daddy issues-though, knowing this didn't make my feelings for him lessen any.

The room was already beginning to sway a little, to my delight, and as I looked around I noticed the Colonel getting to his feet- returning to his quarters most likely-meaning that I would be left completely alone, without even something to occupy my eyes. However, catching me off guard, his feet did not turn towards the door and instead moved him in close proximity with my table.

"Evening Anja."

It struck me that he hadn't addressed me with my title, I wasn't even aware that he knew my name.

"Colonel,"

I replied nodding as he took a seat in front of me, spreading his legs out in a dominant display as he leaned back, seeming surprisingly relaxed for the normally uptight man. He laughed a little at my use of his honorifics as he responded,

"you can call me Miles, we're off duty aren't we?"

His question had no real answer, yet I felt the need to reply to him, his presence still making me jumpy from the endless punishments he'd forced me and my comrades to endure.

"Yeah, I suppose so,"

I murmured thoughtfully, taking another sip of my drink as my eyes flitted over him much more shamelessly than I'd ever dare without some liquid courage. He seemed to mirror my movements, his lips quirked up at the sides ever so slightly.

"So, why are you still on Pandora Anja?"

My name slipped off his lips like honey, making me blush and turn away from his gaze, the steely blue eyes boring into mine much too intently for my liking.

"Don't have too much at home for me sir, no point wasting the trip to come straight back anyway,"

I spoke truthfully, feeling comfort in the fact that he was obviously in the same predicament. He hummed, eyes narrowing as he thought.

"what about you sir?"

I asked to break the silence that had fallen on us both, heart lurching a little when I met his eyes, suddenly realising how intimate the situation was.

"I thought I told you to call me Miles huh sweetcheeks, you don't need to be shy around me you know."

He chuckled, watching me curl into myself like a shrinking violet at his words.

"But to answer your question, there's no-one waiting for me at home either Anja."

An answer that should've been brimming with as much shame as my own, somehow seemed sultry when he said it, all kinds of implications swimming in his eyes as they scanned my blushing form.

"I'm sorry sir, you just make me nervous, you're a scary man you know."

I smiled shyly up at him with red tinged cheeks as I fiddled with the rim of my bottle, earning me a hiss as he drew in a quick breath.

"Don't give me those eyes darling,"

He scolded, eyes narrowed with an emotion I couldn't place, yet it caused my stomach to dive in fear....or excitement? I wasn't sure, but I found it impossible now to remove my eyes from his handsome face as I felt my body lean in.

"What do you mean sir?

I stuttered, taken aback by his words which were causing heat to spread through my body like wildfire.

"I think you know exactly what I mean Anja, don't think I don't notice the way you look at me in training as well. You think it's appropriate for you to be looking at a 50 year old man like that?"

He interrogated me with a harsh glare, the feeling of all my cards being ripped away from my chest causing my throat to close. I had thought I was more subtle with my feelings, but I couldn't help the way my eyes would drag along his toned arms, bulging chest, strong legs, especially when he was drenched in sweat and panting. Images flashed into my mind of all such situations he was referring to and I couldn't contain the small smile that graced my features. Unable to answer his question, I had unintentionally left him room to continue my humiliation.

"You know if you don't stop calling me sir I'm gonna start thinking it turns you on."

My breath hitched at his words as I watched him lean back, pleased with my reaction, spreading his legs further and taking another swig of his beer. I wondered if he was drunk, I'd never heard him speak like this before; however, I couldn't help but enjoy the attention, as heat crawled up my thighs, unable to meet his stare.

"I-I don't know what you mean sir, I look at you the same as anyone else,"

I spoke slowly, struggling to get any words out with my quickened breathing and dry throat.

"Oh really? Is that so, you look like that at Fike, Lyle, Mansk, Zdinarsk?"

He drawled, eyes glimmering with enjoyment, moving one foot forward he allowed his cargo-pant covered leg to brush against my own. It was only a small action but it elicited a shiver from my body, the heat from his thigh seeping into my own delightfully and doing nothing to quell the heat searing between my legs.

"No sir,"

I breathed in admission, finally deciding to meet his predatory gaze which didn't falter, showing me he didn't even need it, he already knew.

"Good girl,"

he rasped out, almost having me mewling like a bitch in heat at the nickname.

"Now, tell me, what's a pretty, young thing like you want with a man like me? Want me to hold your hand, give you special treatment, make you corporal someday?"

He asked intently, face too difficult to read for me to decipher if he was joking or not. Nevertheless, I humoured him with a response, although, somewhat offended that he thought I wanted to climb the ranks that way.

"No sir, that's not what I want."

My reply was harsh, causing him to chuckle at my intensity, however, this time he did not bite back, only staring with eyebrows quirked as he dared me to challenge him, fully utilising his interrogation abilities to play with me. Eventually, having weighed up the possibilities in my head, I decided to be truthful. He was still my Colonel after all and I knew he valued honesty. Taking one long breath, deep into my chest, I closed my eyes momentarily, praying to god that he wasn't about to kick me out of the corps for good before speaking boldly for once.

"I want you to fuck me Colonel."

It was his turn for his front to drop, choking on his beer with a laugh as surprise flashed across his face, quickly being replaced by a sultry gaze; he bit his lip harshly, letting it bounce out from between his lips as he looked me up and down, clearly envisioning my words.

"don't play with me girl,"

he growled, leaving the bemused façade behind, the effect I was having on him finally showing, and to my shock, he almost seemed to want me as much as I did him.

Not bothering to entertain the suggestion, I walked slowly to his side and leaned down to place one knee in the space between his legs, dubiously close to his crotch, before placing my hand against his rough cheek. My actions appeared to take him by surprise, still he wrapped his hands around my waist to steady me, eyes locked on mine in curiosity. Leaning down hurriedly, I pressed a chaste kiss to his lips, revelling in the sensation of his mouth against my own, feeling his breath on my cheek as I pulled away with a shudder.

"I'm not playing about Colonel, I'm being serious. If you don't feel the same then just tell me and stop letting me make a fool out of myself."

I whispered nervously, eyes flicking between his own, heart beating harder out of my chest with each passing second.

Out of the blue, I felt myself being tugged forward, crashing into his hard chest and giving my legs no choice but to spread out to a kneel on either side of his thighs, hands grabbing onto his shoulders to steady me.

"Fuck, you're so damn irresistible,"

he groaned, taking heavy breaths through his nose and dipping his head down to kiss and suck at my neck, nipping occasionally. The sensations overwhelmed me, causing me to whine in his hold whilst my fingers dug into his shoulders, pressing myself impossibly closer to his body, wanting so much to move my hips rhythmically against his own.

"That's it baby, let me know how good it feels,"

he mumbled against my skin, which I was sure was littered with marks by now. I couldn't take it anymore, his words causing a wave of desire to crash over me and I was ashamed to admit, the excitement of the situation almost made me cum there and then on his thigh.

"Miles,"

I released another, higher pitched whine as I gave into my wishes, rolling my hips almost frantically over his, I felt as good as feral in that moment, knowing I would've let him lay me out on that table and fuck me then and there in the bar if he wanted to. I only stilled when he seized my hips in an iron grip, and I was actually able to get a good look at him. He looked just as dishevelled as I was sure I did, eyebrows furrowed, eyes almost pleading as he swallowed hard, closing them as if in pain,

"don't,"

he growled, slapping my arse hard enough to sting, making me yelp and jolt forward, surprised at myself for enjoying the feeling as much as I did.

"Don't do that,"

he reiterated, the low timbre of his voice making me moan shamelessly, glad to be alone in the bar because if anyone could see my desperate state, my reputation would never recover.

"I'm sorry sir,"

I whimpered, nuzzling my face into his neck, pressing my own kisses to his jugular needily.

"Look at you, such a whore for your Colonel. what would your comrades think if they could see you now Anja, all needy for my cock."

His words were turning me on more than I'd ever been in my life, making me so wet I thought it might have seeped through my pants as I choked down another moan.

"I wouldn't care, just please please,"

I virtually cried out, shivering pitifully in his arms. Having mercy on me, he hooked one finger under my chin, a grin plastered on his face as he cooed mockingly

"It's ok baby, is this what you need?"

thrusting his hips against mine, forcing my own hips to roll against him with his other hands, he surveyed my blissed out expression with dark eyes. Leaning in, he lead my head towards him, allowing me to connect my mouth with his and kissing me heatedly, one hand moving to my scalp, pulling lightly at the strands, seeming to have picked up on my masochistic tendencies. As I moaned into his mouth I gave him an opening to slip his tongue between my lips, moving it surprisingly sweetly against me.

Regrettably, he was a great kisser, gripping and touching me just right as his warm muscle massaged my mouth, letting my tongue explore him however I liked, it was only making it more difficult not to fall for him, imagining where else he could kiss to elicit even greater pleasure from me.

He was the one to pull away first, eyes blown wide as we watched the string of saliva connecting us snap at the distance.

"Sweetheart, I'm so close to bending you over this table right now,"

He grunted, shuffling his hips against me once more, I guessed his trousers were getting uncomfortable by now and I could feel his hardness straining against my ass every time he moved.

"that's okay, I don't mind, I'll do whatever you want sir,"

I replied, smiling up gently at the man through my lashes, hoping to crack his resolve enough for him to give in because I couldn't take his teasing any longer. His only response was another groan, head tilting back in frustration before I felt myself being picked up with one arm as Miles stood from his bench. I had no choice but to wrap my legs tightly around his waist, the stimulation of his broad chest bouncing against my clit with each step making me gasp. He walked fast, how he did when called to important meetings or to give someone a piece of his mind, this time however, his motivations were of an entirely different variety.

"Hang on tight darling,"

he teased in his gruff tone, releasing me with one arm to grapple with his door, unlocking it as swiftly as humanly possible, desperate to get me into his bed. And once we were both in, he marched me over to the neatly made bed in the middle of his room, lowering me onto it with a grunt, still keeping his body close to mine and crawling over me, until I was trapped with his arms either side of my head. I felt so powerless below him, below my colonel like this, it made me burn, my slick thighs only getting wetter as his hooded eyes pinned me.

"Is this what you wanted hmm? Laying tits up in my bed?"

He emphasised his point by massaging my breast in his hand as leant down to capture my lips again.

"Wait!"

I suddenly exclaimed, pushing him away by his broad shoulders, causing worry to spread across his face.

"I'm a virgin..."

I confessed shamefully, turning my head away so as not to meet his expression, I knew being a virgin at 25 was embarrassing and I didn't need him to tell me that.

"Anja,"

he breathed, moving my head with a firm grip on my jaw.

"Shit, I can't believe you've never been fucked by anyone, not ever? Not even Wainfleet? I see the way he follows you around like a lost puppy."

This made me giggle, pushing at his chest gently but only really as a ploy to feel the hard muscle beneath his shirt.

"Lyle doesn't want to have sex with me he's my friend,"

I replied humorously, Lyle called me an annoying, whiny child on far too many occasions to be accused of wanting to stick his dick inside of me.

"Oh baby, you're so naïve, I bet you don't even notice the way the rest of the squad looks at you, especially when you do all those fucking stretches in those tight little shorts."

He ground his hips against me as he talked and I could tell he enjoyed teasing me just a little too much.

"But I guess it doesn't matter does it sweetheart, cos this is all for me and I don't want you fucking any of them, understood?"

His grip on my jaw tightened as he waited for my reply, his words causing a fluttering feeling to well up in my stomach, the vaguely possessive sentiment untangling a kink I wasn't aware I had.

"Ah yes sir!"

I cried at the force of the slap he delivered to my upper thigh in the silence.

"Such a good girl isn't that right,"

he mumbled, attacking my neck as he slipped his hands underneath my shirt, lifting it gently over my head before reaching around me for the clasp of my bra, murmuring against my ear between kisses,

"Can I take this off?"

I nodded eagerly, and he ripped it off like a man starved, pawing at my breasts, flicking at my nipples to harden them, making me arch my back and moan in delight; even more so when he leaned his head down to take one into his mouth, swirling his tongue and sucking with expertise. I had never expected him to be such a passionate man, more of a quickie in a cupboard kind of guy, but he most certainly proved me wrong, seeming to love pushing me to the edge as much during sex as when he had me running laps in the field.

I moved my own hands under the shoulders of his tank top, quickly sending him the message that I wanted it off, to which he obliged. He was gorgeous underneath, muscular body showing years of hard work and dedication, littered with scars and a masculine dusting of hair on his chest. He was such a man, my body couldn't help but react to him, want him inside of me when I saw those bulging muscles and scars. I thought as I ran my hands up and down his beautiful form, luckily he was too engrossed with my tits to notice my dazed staring.

Eventually, his hands travelled down my stomach, tickling my skin with his fingertips, until he reached my belt, pulling blindly at the buckle as he kissed my lips once more. Frustrated with waiting, my hands joined his, yanking off my own belt and lifting my hips, almost begging him to rip off my trousers.

"So needy,"

he whispered against my lips before removing his body from mine, leaning back to sit on his heels making me sigh sadly at the loss of warmth. Soon enough though, he got to work removing my cargos, leaving me laying there in only my little lacy white panties, completely transparent with my juices. He sucked in a whistling breath at the sight of them.

"Jesus darling, almost a whole lake in there,"

chuckling darkly, he leaned down to run a finger over my core, as if in awe,

"I really turn you on that much?"

His words made my hole flutter as he hooked his thumbs in the band on my underwear, looking into my eyes as he pulled them down,

"You still ok?"

He asked urgently, wanting nothing more than to drive his fingers into my eager cunt, but knowing he had to restrain himself, especially since it was my first time, after all, he was my Colonel and he looked after his own.

"Yes, please Colonel, hurry up,"

I insisted, grabbing at one of his hands to bring it closer to me.

"Fuck, don't even need to make you beg,"

he mumbled, bringing his fingers to my dripping folds, parting my lower lips to expose the fluttering rim muscle.

"Just like a flower,"

he said smirking at me as he began to circle my clit with one finger, making me mewl, arching as I tried to grab at the pillows by my head. I almost choked on my own tongue when he finally, deliciously, slipped in his thick finger. Low, satisfied moans tumbled from my lips with every pump, feeling as though I may have expired if I had been left any longer without being filled. Adding a second, then a third, he hammered into me at a vigorous pace, the same I could imagine he would use with his cock, curling them up to hit that magical spot that had me seeing stars.

Looking up at him, I could see his expression, lip firmly between his teeth as he flicked between watching my reactions and my obscenely squelching pussy closely. I spied a wet patch on his cargos, that and the large tent giving away his excitement.

"Anja, I can't wait,"

he rushed out, letting me become privy to the distinct sounds of the clanking of a metal buckle along with a zipper dragging down. Before I could comprehend, he had his cock in his hand, fisting it vigorously, lining it up with my entrance and pushing the spongy head against me, slowly breaking into my warm cavern. The intrusion stung, but I somewhat enjoyed the feeling, especially with the vulgar faces the Colonel was giving me at the feeling of my insides.

"You're so tight sweetheart,"

he moaned, head falling backwards with jaw slack, pushing in little by little so as not to break me. He was so thick, I'd never had anything that size in me before, none of my dildos amounted to his length let alone thickness. But above all, the sensation that got me the most, was the pulsing heat spreading from his member through my walls, making me clench, my body already deciding to keep him inside.

With one last push he bottomed out, balls slapping my ass and he buckled forward, leaning on his elbows as he kissed at my jaw, waiting for my signal to move. I could feel all of him, his hard body above me, in me, it was overwhelming and I bucked up my hips aching for some friction to relieve the pressure.

"You ready sweetheart huh? ready for me to fuck you just like you wanted?"

He asked, leaving no room for answer, already having begun thrusting into me with swift, powerful strokes, having him hit that spot inside me with every collision, causing tears to brim in my eyes as I chanted his name like a mantra.

"Oh fuck baby, so fucking wet I can feel you dripping, you gonna gush on my cock angel?"

Nonsense streamed from his lips, speeding up with every word, making my mind go numb, only focused on the way he filled me to the brim, legs clenched around his waist, fingers dug into his hair, clinging on for dear life as he brought me closer and closer towards my petite mort.

"Colonel, please, make me cum,"

I sobbed, biting at his shoulder, but he didn't seem to mind, revelling in how he was ruining me more and more with each stroke.

"Always thought you were so polite and cute huh, but this is what you imagined every time you called me sir, that's fucking filthy baby."

He growled, balls slapping my cunt with increasing power, even without our voices, anyone walking past his quarters would easily be able to tell what the two of us were doing with only the sounds of our bodies.

"I know, I'm sorry sir, please punish me."

I wasn't sure where this side of me was coming from but the words flowed out of my mouth like lava, burning hot in my throat.

At this he stopped all together, pulling out completely as I lamented, although the view of his engorged cock, glistening with my slick was almost enough to make up for it.

"Turn around and get on your hands and knees,"

His gravelly voice commanded, causing my hairs to stand on end. I presented myself to him, a little shy at this new, exposed position, until I felt a slap on my ass, hard enough to leave a handprint. It had me arching my back and wailing euphoniously, leaving the Colonel almost no choice but to plunge into my weeping pussy, setting an equally merciless pace that caught me off guard, pushing my face into the bed below as he abused my twitching hole in time with harsh slaps delivered to either cheek. The mix of pleasure and pain caused the coil in my stomach to tighten tremendously, bringing me to the edge much faster than anticipated.

"Cumming,"

was all I managed to shout out before my walls were milking the Colonel. Yet the pressure still had not dissipated, not until he reached down to rub at my clit, causing an unfamiliar feeling, almost like the need to piss, flow over me, causing me to try to grab at his had to stop him. But to no avail because he was a man out of control, his only mission to bring us both to completion.

"That's it baby, I know you can do it, give me another one."

"augh-ah-ahhh,"

a choking moan, trailing off into a high pitched whine forced its way out of my body as the waves of pleasure finally came crashing down, making me go limp against the pillows as I felt my muscles contract violently, realising in horror that I was currently squirting all over my Colonel's chest, unable to stop, and forced to watch as more clear liquid shot out of me, all over him. I was thankful that he fucked me through it without hesitation, slapping my ass again as he murmured something unintelligible to my blissed out ears. I just lay there useless as he took his pleasure, one hand in my hair, the other against my spine, forcing me to arch against him before his hips finally stuttered.

"Such a good girl aren't you Anja, Colonel's good girl, yeah that's it, keep clenching that pretty pussy around my cock like you didn't already squirt all over it."

His words made me blush in the post orgasmic haze, suddenly realising how dirty he really was, not that it made me want him any less. Turning my head I looked into his eyes lazily,

"cum inside me Miles,"

it felt intimate to say, in spite of the fact that he could see everything from my asshole to my calloused feet from his position. It seemed to push him over the edge though, shouting my name as he came, giving me three hard thrusts before I felt it. Like a volcanic eruption, hot and pulsing inside me, god I wanted him to cum in me every day like this for the rest of my life, his breathing laboured, moaning softly as he did it, his face so scrunched with pleasure, he looked beautiful.

It took a few minutes for the fountain to cease, eventually able to open his eyes he took in my wrecked form below him, causing a chuckle to rise in his chest at the sight of what he'd done to me. He stroked my spine with one rough hand as he caught his breath, not having fucked that hard in years, he needed a few minutes to recover.

"You okay sweetheart?"

He asked, uncharacteristically sweetly, as he caressed my rib cage at the same time as he pulled his softening cock from my heat.

"I'm good Miles, thank you."

I wasn't sure why I was thanking him really, for fucking me? that seemed stupid, yet I was the one saying the words. It made him chuckle again, I was still so polite after everything.

Crashing down next to me, he pulled me into his chest with strong arms, seeming to want to bask in the afterglow as much as I did. And I took the opportunity to kiss his chest tenderly, running my fingers up and down through the light hair there, still a little in awe of his presence.

"Can I use your toilet?"

I broke the silence with my question, expecting a harsh glare or mocking remark, but receiving neither, only a soft gaze and nod of a head in the direction of the ensuite. Wriggling out of his hold, that he apparently didn't want to let me out of, I attempted to walk on shaky legs, almost falling multiple times as I hobbled to the toilet weakly, much to Miles' amusement.

Once I had finished, I wondered if he'd want me to leave, this was only a one night stand after all....

"Should I go then?"

I asked quietly, leaning on the doorframe for support, feeling the full weight of my nakedness under his stare.

"After all that you think I'm gonna kick you out? Come here before I change my mind"

He rolled his eyes in annoyance, pulling up the covers as an invitation, one which I accepted happily, snuggling into him for warmth, I told myself, as he wrapped his arms around me from behind, stroking at the skin of my stomach with his thumb, the feeling of his deep breathing and steady heartbeat helping to lull me to sleep.

I knew, deep down that I had fucked up, this man would be leading my squad on the next mission and many more to come. Yet in this moment I couldn't bring myself to care, focusing only on the feeling of his skin against mine as I hoped this wouldn't be the last time.

Taglist:

@ab-haya

@isabellekenway

@mechformers

@lvangel98

@htnw004

@jayedillon

@drinking-tea-and-be-obsessed

#miles quaritch smut #miles quaritch #stephen lang #avatar fanfiction #avatar movie #avatar #human miles quaritch #colonel quaritch

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justallihere · 9 months ago

Note

Xaden 'I'm the picture of calmness when it comes to my wife' really said:

"You haven't even taken your hair down" (The ATROCITY! He only gets to see it down when she goes to sleep. How dare the weather be so bad she can't undo her hair crown? No problem, hubby to the rescue)

"Why are you talking to Cam?" (dude...)

"You'll end up like you, classmate, if you even fucking think about moving" (very chill, not unhinged at all)

Of course it didn't even occur to him that he could die if she died. Baby is smitten!

Also, I love how Sloan and Tessa were so concerned for Violet's mental well-being. They were all, 'she knows that calling somewhere where people don't kill each other 'boring' is not normal, right?'

And poor Liam, he literally can't catch a break!

I loved this one, just like every other chapter of this story. You are so talented. Thank you for sharing this with us!

Xaden likes to think he’s chill but he’s not. He’s never been chill. He doesn’t know the meaning of the word

I think you’re the first one to point out the “why are you talking to Cam?” line! No hesitation, just immediate jealousy lol. I promise he’s not gonna steal your girl Xaden!!

I’m starting a “let Liam and Violet sleep for once” train, it probably won’t happen but we can hope

#fourth wing #fourth wing fanfic #storm in the quiet

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biggestsimponhere · 2 years ago

Note

Ooh what about 12 on the prompt list for Robin??

Midnight baking and life talks - Robin Buckley x reader, Prompt: “Do you ever wonder what your future wife is doing?” I don’t know how good this is.

It’s nearing midnight now, Steve should be here soon. Robin sits quietly in the other room on the couch preparing the rest of the snacks, while Nance gathers blankets and sets up the movie. The doorbell rings signaling the arrival of Steve. I go and get the door to see Steve, Eddie and Jonathan arriving. They come in and everyone settles on the couch while I go finish up the cookies.

The oven dings and I pull out a fresh batch of chocolate chip cookies. “Robs! Come here!” I shout into the other room. She quickly hops up and runs over into the kitchen. “Yes y/n/n?” she said as she slides across the wooden floor next to me. “Cookie Tester?” I ask sliding one over to her along with a glass of cold milk. “Ooh yes please” she says quickly taking the cookie from my hand. She bites into it and moans at the taste. “Oh my god y/n/n, this is so good” she says as she grabs the milk. She gulps it down quickly. “You think we should call the rest of them in here?” I said looking towards the rest of the gang who were still in the living room.

“No, not yet, please, they’ll devour them” She says pulling a tray toward her. “Robs i already set some aside for you” I said leaning onto her shoulder. “Thank you, I love you so much, oh my gosh, I mean it, these cookies are the best thing I’ve ever had, like so so so good, so I’d probably die if I didn’t have any” She rambles as she leans her head against mine. “You’re welcome Robs but I do still have to give them some” I said laughing. “Guys! Come on! Cookies!” I shouted into the other room. The gang quickly rushed into the kitchen and snatched the cookies. “See what did I tell you y/n/n, animals,” She said laughing “I mean they didn’t even say thank you” she laughs.

The group mumbles their thank you’s before Steve shouts “See! What did I tell you, She gave Robin some first” He points dramatically at the glass of milk on the counter. “Yeah we all knew she would” Jonathan points out. “Yeah, how’d you know that, huh?” I ask throwing a piece of my cookie at him. “Okay ow and it was quite obvious, I mean you offer everything to her first” He says throwing the cookie back at me. “Yeah, yeah whatever Byers, now everyone get their ass back in the living room, we’ve got a movie to watch” I said and we all filtered back into the living room. About an hour into the movie we all started getting bored so Eddie suggested we drink the beer they brought. About two beers in I was beginning to get a little drunk. Okay a little, maybe a lot and also two was more like four.

We were all still drinking when Nance suddenly gasped “Let’s play a game” she shouted hitting Jonathan on the shoulder. “What kind of game?” Steve asked sliding Nancy’s beer onto a coaster. “Truth or dare” she cheered doubling over laughing. “Yeah okay nance, who’s going first” I asked leaning onto Robin. “I’ll go! I’ll go!” Eddie shouted jumping up. He looked around the room before stopping on me and Robin. “Robin,” he said drawing out her name “truth or dare”, “dare” she said quickly. “I dare you to kiss y/n’s forehead” He said sitting back down. Robs leans over planting a kiss on my forehead before scooting back down. “Why just her forehead?” Jon asked. “Just wanted to see if she would do it” Eddie said laughing.

“She’s my best friend I kiss her on the forehead all the time, I also kiss her hand and her cheek but I do that to nance too so I don’t even know what you’re talking about it’s completely normal for me to do” she continues to ramble as Eddie laughs and cuts her off “you’re good rob, we get it” He said moving to sip his beer again. Robins turn. Robin looks around the circle and then lands on Steve. “Stevie! Truth or dare” she says. “Truth” he replies sitting back. “Do you like Eddie?” She asks. “Yes” he says quickly before moving on. “Y/n, truth or dare” he says. “Truth” I reply. “Do you like Robin?” I eye him before looking at her and then shooting him a glare. “Yes I do” I say quietly. “Why didn’t you tell me?” Robin asks, moving her head off my shoulder.

“I was scared you wouldn’t feel the same way” I said moving my beer back to my lips. She looked at me and then at the group before looking back to me. “Obviously I feel the same way, I mean have you seen me around you, I’m an idiot” she said panicking. “Robs, can I kiss you?” I ask scooting towards her. She nods and moves closer. I look back at the group. “Look away you pervs” they all avert their eyes before Robin and I finally kiss. I leaned into her cupping her jaw. Wow this is the best kiss I’ve ever had. Her lips are soft. Fuck. We pulled away once we ran out of air. Our friends cheered and we settled back next to each other. The game went on for about twenty more minutes before Jonathan said he was tired. I showed Nance and Jonathan to the guest room before grabbing pillows and blankets for Steve and Eddie.

I quickly handed them the blankets and pillows before grabbing robins hand and leading her back to my bedroom. She’s been in here hundreds of times before but this time it’s different. This time we both know we like each other. I change into my pajamas and sit on my bed while she heads into the bathroom to change. She comes back out and lays next to me. “Hey robs?” I ask leaning onto her. “Hmm?” She hums. “Do you ever wonder what your future wife is doing right now?” I ask looking up at her. “No, I don’t need to wonder when she’s sitting right next to me” she smiles before pulling me into her. We leaned into each other before drifting off to sleep.

#robin buckley x reader #Robin Buckley #stranger things #stranger things x you #robin buckley x you #robin buckley fluff #fluff fic

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nev3rfound · 4 years ago

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someone i once knew : b.b - p.4

with Fury denying Bucky the chance to stay to monitor you, he and the rest of the avengers are forced to go on a mission leaving you alone. if only they new the dire consequences that decision would enforce. (2.3k)

(anything in bold/italics are flashbacks/memories!)

masterlist / permanent taglist

- i also have an etsy shop and will be releasing wandavision themed items real soon! -

PART ONE . PART TWO . PART THREE . PART FOUR . PART FIVE . PART SIX

(also thank you again and again for the love and excitement for this series - i am loving the writing process and there are now two chapters left!)

“Look, you’re all going, no excuses.” Fury states as he stands before the Avengers all sat around the conference table with furrowed brows.

Bucky sighs to himself, thinking about you sat down in that lab alone, still unsure of what is even happening like everyone else.

“But Sir,” Steve speaks up, all eyes turn to him as Fury raises a brow as to whom is questioning him. “Y/n isn’t just someone, she needs protecting.” He reasons, but Fury exhales deeply.

“Mr Rogers, let me make this clear,” Fury steps forward. “I don’t give a damn.”

“You should.” Bucky mutters under his breath as his arms remain crossed over his chest, barely able to stop his leg from bouncing up and down.

“What was that, Sargent?” Fury quips.

Lifting his head, Bucky coldly stares at Fury, ignoring Steve’s silent pleas for him to back down. “You should care who she is, as she matters to me.” Bucky bluntly states.

“As I said, Sargent, I don’t give a damn.” Fury reiterates his point. “Stark hired her, she went through every background check there is. She’s perfectly fine here, do I make myself clear?”

No one dares to speak up as Fury turns his attention to Maria Hill standing beside him.

“Get the jet ready, they can finish briefing on the way.” Fury tells Hill.

Maria nods as she places her earpiece back on. “Yes, Sir.” She walks out of the room and Fury follows.

“We can talk more about this situation when you return.” Fury comments before exiting the room, leaving the team sat in tense silence as the thought of you lingers on all their minds.

“So that’s it?” Sam asks as Tony rises to his feet, not daring to look up at Bucky or Steve.

“You heard Fury, we’ve got a job to do.” Tony explains, knowing there’s no use trying to argue any further. “Come on, the sooner we go the sooner we can get back.”

Sitting in the lab, you wish someone was around to keep you company. The last time you had any form of communication was with Bruce before he left last night for a mission with the rest of the team.

All you can hear were his lasting words of advice; "Don't leave this room."

You were bored out of your mind, stuck in the confined space surrounded by cameras and monitors as you remain hooked up to various machines; yet no one will explain what they all do or what is exactly happening to you.

“Hey, FRIDAY?” You call out, desperate for something to do as you lean against the glass wall, flexing your feet.

“Yes, Ms Y/l/n, how can I help?” FRIDAY asks and you exhale deeply, what can an AI do to provide any assistance whilst her creator is keeping you trapped in a lab?

“Any chance Tony mentioned my dinner plans?” You chuckle, having all the facilities beside a kitchen at your disposal.

“I’ll arrange for dinner to be provided by an Agent, Ms Y/l/n.” FRIDAY responds, and you nod to yourself, sliding down against the glass as you lie flat on your back.

“Thanks, FRIDAY.” You mutter. “God, I’ve truly lost it, talking to an AI for company.” You groan, covering your eyes.

It has been a few days since you had a ‘memory’ or a snippet of one. It’s as if your brain has gone dormant the moment someone finally was willing to listen and provide help.

Yet, your mind always ends up wandering back to the ever-present thought of Bucky Barnes. You’ll never forget the way he screamed your name before he was forced to the ground, thrown out of sight from your point of view. There was something about him, the way he looked at you with so much pain lingering in his eyes, even when you first met him.

“Come on, seriously where are we going?” You giggle, following behind James as his hand remains in yours, guiding you out from the bar filled with soldiers.

Glancing over his shoulder, Bucky smirks at his best girl, still amazed that you’ve stuck with him through all this. “Somewhere special.” He tells you, quickly turning to kiss you sweetly before carrying on.

After walking for around ten minutes, Bucky guides you toward the old hall you used to go to during dances.

“This is somewhere special, huh?” You joke, resting your hands on your hips as Bucky fiddles with the lock, tearing it off with ease much to your surprise.

Releasing the chains, Bucky pulls the door open and motions for you to walk inside. Without hesitation, you quickly slip in as Bucky follows behind.

Your footsteps echo in the empty space, having barely been used for months since the war worsened. There are still banners from the last dance you attended with Bucky, dust lining the stage and the various blown out bulbs.

Bucky hovers near the entrance of the dim hall as the moonlight shines through the broken roof, illuminating your figure as you look around. He tries to ignore the screams that ring through his mind, the horror he witnessed mere weeks ago.

“James?” Your voice brings him back to reality as your hand cups his cheek. “It’s okay, you’re right here, with me.” You softly remind him, having experienced countless nights of cries and screams of terror leaving his lips as he flails around, wishing for it to all end.

Leaning his head against your hand, tears form in Bucky’s eyes as you move closer, wrapping your arms around him and hold him close.

“It’s okay, I promise, it’s okay.” You whisper, running your fingers through his hair as he buries his face in the crook of your neck, his shoulders rising and falling. “It’s over, James, you’re safe.” You remind him, but his sobs subside as he lifts his head, resting his hands around your waist.

“Doll, there’s something I’ve gotta tell you,” Bucky admits, knowing it’s going to be more painful to tell you he’s leaving again. “I, Steve’s got a plan, one final mission.” Looking up, Bucky can see you trying to remain composed as you bite your lower lip. “And then we’re done, it’s over and I’m all yours, forever.”

“That’s it?” You breathe out. "One final mission?"

Nodding in response, Bucky guides you toward the moonlit spot in the middle of the hall. “That’s it, and then I’ll be here, by your side until you get sick of me.” He jokes, and your gentle laugh fills his ears.

“Won’t take long, but I’ll put up with it if it means you’re here, with me.” You tell him before tearing your eyes from his as you look up at the birds perching on the rails above you, cooing back and forth.

Bucky admires your smile, the sincere look across your face and he knows it’s now or never.

“Y/n?” Bucky asks, and you hum in response as you lower your face, your eyes practically sparkling brighter than the stars. “Do you remember the last time we were here?”

You smile at the memory. “Of course, we danced until everyone else had left.” You remember it vividly, dancing in the silence of the hall together before Bucky walked you home and slept by your side until the sun rose. His lips lingered over your skin as the sunlight beamed through your curtains, burning his eyes with the reminder he can’t stay.

“There was something I never got to say that night, and throughout everything I, I went through,” Bucky trails off.

“Hey, I’m right here,” You softly mutter, gravitating him back to the present.

“I, I always thought of you, my darling Y/n who has been there through thick and thin. I’m in awe of you, I think I always have, ever since we first met. Your defiance for both Steve and I is unmatched, and you’ve weaved a piece of yourself into me and I don’t want it to ever disappear.” Bucky explains, glancing up to see tears forming in your eyes.

“What’re you saying, James?” Your voice cracks as tears begin to fall down your cheeks whilst Bucky lowers himself down onto one knee before you.

“I’m asking if you, Y/n Y/l/n will do me the honour of being my wife, my doll and best friend forever.” Bucky can feel himself going as you bend down, level with him as a watery laugh leaves your lips.

“Yes,” You respond, looking at the beautiful ring that you recognise from his Grandmother. “you and me, James, forever.”

Gasping for breath, you sit upright clutching your chest.

“FRIDAY?” You yell, but there is no immediate response.

Uneasily you stand up as your body shakes, the memory replaying on your mind as the soldiers face is becoming clearer, his name ghosting your lips, but still refuses to leave them.

Looking across to the monitors, you notice they’re all down. Nothing is operating.

With uncertainty, you remove the various wires and pads covering your skin before stepping toward the glass door and pull it open with ease. “Strange.” You mutter under your breath as you walk out, half expecting a series of alarms to blare, but silence follows as you reach the elevator.

As you press the button for the elevator, you watch as it rises from the ground floor. Yet, the closer it gets the sound of voices near.

“FRIDAY, who else is in the compound?” You call out, now backing away from the elevator as it’s two floors away from you.

Silence ensues yet again, and now your heart rate increases as the elevator pings.

Backing away as the metal doors slide open, you rush back into the lab and hide beneath one of the many desks as a series of men yell orders to one another.

“FRIDAY, please,” You whisper to the AI who remains unresponsive as you close your eyes, wishing to remain unnoticed. “emergency protocol seven.” You add as the glass door shatters open, followed by several footsteps crunching across the broken glass.

Lowering your hands from your face, you can see three pairs of feet from where you’re hiding, weapons hanging in their grip.

“Get anything you can whilst the systems are down.” One man instructs, and you can feel your heart sinking further into your chest; you’re on your own, truly, defenceless.

“How long do you think we have?” Another speaks up, his Russian accent thick as the previous man sighs in annoyance.

“Twenty minutes at the most, now don’t waste time.” He spits before turning around nearing the entrance but pauses.

His feet crunch into the glass as he slowly walks back to the other men.

“Do you hear that?” He asks, holding his hand up to his ear as the two men look at him cluelessly.

“Hear what?” The Russian dares to question whilst you bury your body further into your hiding spot, covering your nose and mouth with your hands to suppress your unsteady breaths.

“The elevator stopped here before we planned which floor to go to, so, who called it here?” Your eyes widen in fear as footsteps approach the desk you’re hiding beneath. “Neither of you notice these tubes and wires connected to the monitors?” The man scoffs.

Within a split second, the desk is flipped over, revealing you curled up to the three men with twisted smiles across their faces.

“Hello, Miss.” The leader bends down and kneels in front of you, he extends his arm, revealing a tattoo across his forearm which you recognise from the many files you’ve read. “You and I are going to have a little game, and I can assure you, it’s going to be fun.”

Boarding the quinjet alongside Sam, Bucky wipes his lip, ignoring the throbbing sensation as fresh blood lines his fingertips.

“I told you, we’d be in and out.” Tony comments as the jet door closes behind him as he remains almost unscathed, unlike Steve and Bucky who are slightly worse for wear.

“You didn’t have to go off course like that, Tony.” Steve sighs, sporting a black eye as he takes his seat beside Natasha who wraps her wrist up with Bruce’s help.

Shrugging his shoulders, Tony picks up his phone. “Yeah, well, it’s done now and we can carry on with our little mystery back at the compound.” He mutters, briefly looking to Bucky whose thoughts have remained consumed by you ever since he left. “Hey, can we leave right now? We have to get back to the compound!” Tony rushes toward the pilot with a level of urgency in his tone.

“Tony, what’s going on?” Detecting the change immediately, Steve rises to his feet as he walks toward Tony.

Glancing over his shoulder, Tony can see Bucky still staring at him. “Protocol Seven was activated.” Tony explains in a hushed tone, but he should know better considering there were two super soldiers on board.

“What’s protocol seven?” Bucky speaks up, noticing Natasha tense beside Bruce. “What is it?” He repeats, trying to suppress his panic as Steve clenches his jaw.

“How long do you think we have?” Steve asks.

Rubbing his face, Tony sighs. “Maybe forty minutes, FRIDAY will lock the building, but with the systems hijacked it’ll take longer than normal.”

“Stark,” Bucky tries to remain composed as the plates in his metal arm whir, his fist clenching tightly. “what is protocol seven?”

Turning away from Steve, Tony faces Bucky with a heavy heart. “A security breach within the compound, the systems have been hijacked and FRIDAY is on back up mode.” Tony explains, but Bucky can tell he’s holding something back.

“What kind of security breach?” Bucky dares to ask, stepping closer whilst Natasha lowers her head whilst Clint remains sorrowful opposite the Black Widow.

"I'm so sorry, Barnes." Tony softly responds, looking down as FRIDAY's systems begin to reboot, the security camera's slowly reactivating.

“HYDRA, Buck.” Steve states. “HYDRA are in the compound.”

P A R T F I V E

(thank you to the following for all the love so far! if you’d like to be tagged in this mini series do let me know)

@mellmellmell12@theofficialzivadavid @fandom-princess-forevermore @lokilovefoever @vivalakatee @chgevorgian @captainwinterwriter @carliewinchester @spn-obession @buckysquad @shower-me-with-roses @basicgukk @yasminwashere @sunfouler @feminist-fan-girl @stealapizzamyheart @soccer-100000 @sunflowerbunny2 @kickingn-ames @choerriesmotion @why-thats-just-delightful @officialfictionalwreck @romanoff-nataliaalianovna @hersilencedscreams @b-r-stark @dezzxmx

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caught-in-a-seesaw-stigma · 4 years ago

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Caught Recommendations

Author’s Note: I’m trying to keep track of the amazing BTS-themed series and fics that I’m reading on Tumblr, so I decided to create this post with some short reviews (so I can have them all in one place). These writers are amazing and they keep me coming back for more. They are all smutty as hell and full of amazing characters and conflicts. This is by no means a comprehensive list, and I will be adding them as more catch my eye. Check them out if you get a chance!

Mafia AUs

The Birdcage & the sequel The Lion’s Den by @untaemedqueen

Genre: Angst, Smut, Fluff, Mafia AU; Jimin x Reader

What You Need to Know: Jimin-heavy series (and sequel) that dives into Seoul and Busan mafia underground, violence, guns, knives, bombs, pregnancies, and OH so much drama - the writer creates some fascinating characters that we root for and fall in love with over and over again.

Thou Shall Not Steal by @xherxx

Genre: Angst, Smut, Fluff, Mafia AU, OT7

What You Need to Know: The richest mafia lord in the industry throws a huge yet twisted deal before he retires and every gang out there wants to get their hands on his riches. - The drama is real in this one and there is plenty of hot, steamy scenes that will make you tingle.

Don’t Care If It Hurts by @hollyhomburg

Genre: Angst, Smut, Fluff, Mafia AU, Jimin x Reader

What You Need to Know: After a rival gang makes an attempt on your life, Your older brother, the infamous leader of Seoul’s largest gang; Kim Namjoon, gets you a guard hybrid; Park Jimin, The reigning champion of Seoul’s underground hybrid fighting ring. - Yeah, this is also a hybrid series, but the mafia background is much more prominent. The OC is also smart as a whip and Namjoon as the angry leader and older brother is something to behold. The other members feature as well skilled companions and are very good at their jobs.

Omertà by @lamourche

Genre: Angst, Smut, Fluff, Mafia AU, Namjoon x Reader

What You Need to Know: A story about an unlikely mob boss and his mafia princess wife. This is a love story set in a brutal world. - Namjoon and his crew are tight knit and set to take over the mafia underground. In a true Romeo and Juliet twist, you are from an opposing family and are desperate to get away from their oppressive clutches. As an added bonus, you and Namjoon fall in love and build up his empire together.

Blackjack by @kpopfanfictrash

Genre: Angst, Smut, Fluff, Mafia AU, Jungkook x Reader

What You Need to Know: Bangtan is one of the most vicious mafias on the west coast. Only six members are known by name though, with a mysterious seventh member dubbed only as 'the shadow.' When you become indebted to the worst of the worst - how, exactly can you find a way out? - Jungkook is such a gem in this fic and the action is amped up to 11 throughout the series.

College/Business AUs

Thesis-It (and the sequel) Prove It by @xherxx

Genre: Angst, Smut, Fluff, College/Career AU, OT7

What You Need to Know: “When life gives you lemons, make cocktails! It doesn’t solve any problems, but then again neither do lemonades. Besides, it has the word cock in it, just like what the Bangtan boys have on them. So, why don’t you just suit yourself?” - This series was a ROLLERCOASTER of emotion, even when it hurts, you keep going back for more. The sequel takes place AFTER college, but the characters still act like college idiots. LOVE THEM!

Fear & Dumplings by @softyoongiionly

Genre: Angst, Smut, Fluff, College AU, Yoongi x reader

What You Need to Know: You’re in your final semester at University when your Abnormal Psychology professor assigns you a partnered project surrounding your greatest fears. Lucky for you, your partner just so happens to be a cute boy named Min Yoongi. - The build up to this relationship is just wonderful and you will be completely enamored by Yoongi in this fic. He’s such a soft precious bean and I want to ruin him.

The Gentlemen by @honeymoonjin

Genre: Angst, Smut, Fluff, Reality Show AU, OT7

What You Need to Know: Sick of unsatisfying hookups, boring relationships or the company of your own hand? Apply today for the chance to be on bangasm.com’s very first reality show! Seven attractive young gentlemen will be vying for your choice of who is best in bed. All from different backgrounds, these men claim they’ll be able to rock your world, so don’t hesitate! Apply now! - BEST REALITY SHOW EVER! The characters are vivid and entertaining and the smut scenes are on point. I dare you not to fall in love with every single one of these eligible bachelors.

Tease by @adonis-koo

Genre: Angst, Smut, Fluff, Stripper AU, Jungkook x reader

What You Need to Know: You came with the intentions of your best friend landing a job as a stripper. You never meant to catch the eyes of the king stripper of the establishment- Jeon Jungkook, yourself. With what was supposed to be a harmless way of paying off college debt faster you find yourself falling into a very odd and passionate relationship with your new mentor. Between infidelity, passion and jealousy there’s never a dull moment at Cherry Bomb. - Jungkook starts off arrogant and difficult, but as the relationship progresses, he starts embracing his softness for his new trainee. There is also some hot Big-Little action going on here.

No Strings by @kpopfanfictrash

Genre: Angst, Smut, Fluff, College AU, Jimin x reader

What You Need to Know: You voice your concern that you are bad in bed and Jimin offers to test that theory. What ensues is an angsty friends with benefits situation that threatens to tear your friend group apart. You may want to smack Jimin around a bit, but I promise you will not be disappointed in the end.

The Holi-Date by @kpopfanfictrash

Genre: Angst, Smut, Fluff, Career AU, Taehyung x reader

What You Need to Know: When your ex-boyfriend becomes engaged to his new girlfriend at your annual Holiday party, you admittedly are not in the best place. Which explains why you down six shots of alcohol, enthusiastically drop it low on the dance floor and - oh, yeah - tell everyone you are also dating someone. The only problem? You are obviously not. Good thing your neighbor happens to be cute and in need of a ride to work every morning. - I absolutely LOVE Taehyung in this fic; he’s playful, sweet, passionate, and funny.

Hybrid AUs

The Mark of Yun-Ki by @ladyartemesia

Genre: Angst, Smut, Fluff; Historical Hybrid AU; Yoongi x Reader

What You Need to Know: This story was wonderfully crafted and if a Tiger-hybrid Yoongi full of ferocity and passion and admiration doesn’t do it for you, I don’t know what will.

Reasons Wretched & Divine by @hollyhomburg

Genre: Angst, Smut, Fluff; Hybrid AU; Namjoon x Reader x Jimin x Yoongi

What You Need to Know: You live on an isolated but sprawling farm with your abusive husband, but things start to change for the better when your husband adopts a retired police dog hybrid named Namjoon. - There are definitely some trigger warnings you should read at the top, but the series is full of mental and physical healing that endears the characters to the reader. The other members are also present as side characters and are hella sweet.

Abundance by @angelicyoongie

Genre: Angst, Smut, Fluff; Hybrid AU; OT7

What You Need to Know: You never expected that you would end up adopting a hybrid, and if someone had told you that you would end up with seven? Well, you would have thought they were crazy. But here you are, with three different packs of hybrids that don’t get along – but all want to stay with you. Yeah, turns out crazy is an understatement. - This is a sweet complicated hybrid situation where three different groups have to find a way to live together. It takes some time, but they all eventual pull together as a family.

Jackrabbit by @jamaisjoons

Genre: Pure Smut; Hybrid AU; Jungkook x reader

What You Need to Know: On a university-wide Easter egg hunt, Jungkook decides to educate you on just how wrong you are about him. - this one shot will have your thighs rubbing together vigorously wishing that you could get a few minutes alone with this domineering bun (just don’t call him that unless you want to get punished).

Strawberry Cream & BBQ by @thatmultifandomhoe

Genre: Angst, Fluff, Smut; Hybrid AU; Hoseok x reader

What You Need to Know: Your best friend knows she can count on you for anything, so when she asks you to watch her hybrid while she’s gone for a study abroad trip for four months, you can’t say no. But when these four months are over, things have changed in a way no one expected. - The relationship between Hoseok and the OC is so sweet and the drama that erupts after they get together pulls on the heartstrings.

Sci-Fi AUs

Void by @btssavedmylifeblr

Genre: Angst, Smut, Fluff, Space AU, OT7

What You Need to Know: You are the only female crew member on a 12 year space mission with seven handsome men. - The sexual tension is real, y’all. The OC is sassy and hilarious, the other crew members provide colorful commentary and conflicts that keep the reading salivating for more.

The Turing Test by @fortunexkookie

Genre: Angst, Smut, Fluff, Android AU, Jungkook x reader

What You Need to Know: You are an engineer who created an advanced form of Artificial Intelligence named Jungkook, but with every technological advance, there are always some bugs to work out (and not all of them deal with the creator or the creation).

Parenting AUs

Gingerbread Man by @btsracket

Genre: Angst, Smut, Fluff; Jungkook x Reader

What You Need to Know: Jungkook (a recent widower) is a fantastic baker who owns his own shop. The reader bounces in to place an emergency order and fate takes over from there. Jungkook’s son, Jude, is absolutely adorable and all of the angst and drama derived from moving on from an unexpected spousal death makes for one incredible recipe for success.

The Stand-In by @yoonia

Genre: Angst, Smut, Fluff; Namjoon x Reader

What You Need to Know: Gaining the courage to leave a loveless marriage was hard enough, but is it really a good idea to run to your best friend for help? And would you refuse him when he offers you another kind of ‘help’? - The themes revolving around infertility and then a sudden pregnancy catapult these characters into a wonderful relationship full of love and possibilities. Plus, Daddy Joon is always a yes on my list.

Intro: Her by @jamaisjoons

Genre: Angst, Smut, Fluff; Namjoon x Reader

What You Need to Know: You enter Namjoon’s life in the most unexpected of ways, but will you be able to stay, especially when he comes with three adorable but chaotic children, even more chaotic best friends and a bitch of an ex-wife? not to mention your own emotional baggage. - Namjoon is raising his three boys Jimin, Taehyung, and Jungkook as you enter his life as a marine biologist. The kids are sweet and sassy, Namjoon is a total mess, but a sweetheart. I never wanted to be a mother to children more than these tots, and the bonus would be snuggling into Daddy Joon’s arms.

Idol AUs

Let Me Hold Them by @jjungkookislife

Genre: Angst, Smut, Fluff; OT7

What You Need to Know: An OT7 series that includes mxm, threesomes, open relationships, polyamory, and angst. Please read at your own discretion & the warnings on each chapter. - It starts off small, and then it escalates quickly. I promise, you will not be disappointed. Read on!

Slight Changes by @jiminimoon

Genre: Angst, Smut, Fluff; Taehyung x reader; Jimin x reader

What You Need to Know: Your relationship with Taehyung takes a nose dive when his infidelity is exposed. Luckily, the other members (especially Jimin) step in to make sure you don’t suffer alone. Prepare for angsty chapters and a lot of soul searching in this fic.

The Studio Sessions by @getitinbusan

Genre: Angst, Smut, Fluff; Yoongi x reader; OT7 x reader

What You Need to Know: It’s Min Yoongi’s birthday and you’re ready to give him whatever he wants. When he makes a sarcastic wish while blowing out the candles he didn’t think you’d take it seriously. But he’s glad you did. When word spreads about these special “Studio Sessions” everyone wants to collaborate. - You start with one and work your way through the rest without blinking an eye. It’s a smutty paradise.

Love Well Done by @oraclemarie

Genre: Angst, Smut, Fluff; Yoongi x reader

What You Need to Know: You are the executive chef of your very own fine dining restaurant. A big company makes you the offer of a lifetime, setting you on a path straight to Min Yoongi-your drunken hook up. - once these two start admitting their love for one another, it ups the drama; people can let jealousy turn them into monsters.

Soulmate AUs

A Thousand Springs by @whitesparrows97

Genre: Angst, Smut, Fluff, OT7

What You Need to Know: Life is short. Eternity is long. Why you in particular are approached by a super attractive man in a club, you did not understand. You understood even less why he wanted to kill you. Fortunately, seven young, also incredibly handsome men show up to help you with this little problem. Purely by coincidence, of course. Or do you really believe in fate? - This fic is action packed with crazy conflicts, special powers, and spicy smut scenes.

The Immortals by @bang-tan-bitches

Genre: Angst, Smut, Fluff, OT7

What You Need to Know: Sometimes, you find your destiny. And sometimes, your destiny does whatever it takes to keep you. - There are some amazing things happening in this fic and I just want to crawl onto that giant bed with all of them and their mysterious golden powers.

Fantasy AUs

Blood Moon Rising by @yoonia

Genre: Angst, Smut, Fluff; Vampire/Werewolf AU; Jimin x Reader

What You Need to Know: As beings from ancient times, the Vampire Clan has undergone numerous changes to thrive in the Modern Age after surviving the Ancient Blood War. As a part of the traveller family in his clan, Jimin has parted ways from the coven until the day his Lords warned him of the lurking danger from inside the clan. And all so suddenly, he was pulled out of his solitary, only to have given the responsibility he had never wished to have, along with the threats that come as a part of the deal.

Born as youngest yet having lost so much, you have given your family your loyalty, your protection, and had been given their love and support that had become the only thing that keeps you going. But what happens when the only people you have put your trust in only repay you with betrayal?

This series expands beyond this world and into a whole universe of shifter characters. This storyline also includes characters from her other Shifter Series. The storylines are rich and beautifully crafted, and you will love the way the characters stick together on this magnificent adventure.

Of Fire and Love by @hollyhomburg

Genre: Angst, Smut, Fluff; Dragon-Hybrid AU; Yoongi x Reader

What You Need to Know: When Dragon Yoongi finds baby Jungkook in the wreckage of a house he burned down, he can’t bring himself to kill the child. Months after someone drops off a baby at your door, you start to notice something- or someone, lurking at the edge of the woods. - This fantasy world just keeps growing in each chapter and you also get to enjoy a baby Jungkook and a baby dragon Hobi. Beware of fairy Jimin - they’re a sneaky one.

Faerie Realm by @ddaengyoonmin

Genre: Angst, Smut, Fluff; Fairy Video Game AU; Jungkook x Reader

What You Need to Know: Your mother gifts you a video game set that allows you to fully enter the brand new virtual world of Faerie Realm on the first day of its launch. You lack any of the skills or knowledge of playing video games, but you end up having fun thanks to skilled player you meet named Kookie! You are lucky to have met him, because this deadly game is not what it seems.- Based on Sword Art Online, but I think it’s better. The other members become a part of the group and drama ensues.

Sweeter than Sweet by @gimmesumsuga

Genre: Angst, Smut, Fluff; Vampire AU; Jimin x reader; OT7, eventually

What You Need to Know: You never would have expected someone like Park Jimin to notice you. As handsome and beguiling as he is deadly, you’re enthralled from the very moment you meet. Addicted to his kiss and his bite, Jimin opens up your eyes to a whole new world of love, lust and seduction. - this is a LONG series, but it is TOTALLY WORTH IT. Once you dive into the story, there is no resurfacing until you finish.

A Court of Curses & A Court of Moonlight by @readyplayerhobi

Genre: Angst, Smut, Fluff; Vampire/Witch/Werewolf AU; Hoseok x reader; Yoongi x reader

What You Need to Know: (ACOC) For millennia, the vampires and witches have hated one another and war has raged between the two. When tensions flare up once more and spill into neutral land, peace is forced upon the two by the faeries. The price of peace sees the Witch Queen married to the Vampire Prince. One hundred years later, how have things changed? (ACOM) As Prince Hoseok’s personal attendant, you travel with him on a diplomatic visit to Lunatis, home of the werewolves. There, you meet the enigmatic and intriguing werewolf prince, Min Yoongi, and discover more than you expected as a mere attendant. - this world is so full of magical wonder and I am so invested in seeing how everything comes together. It also makes me soft when I see how loving Prince Hoseok is toward his family.

Caught-in-a-seesaw-stigma’s MASTERLIST

#bts fic #recommended reading #bts series #bts fanfic #bts smut #BTS au #bts angst #bangtan #bts bangtan sonyeondan #fanfiction recommendation

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kingandfireheart · 4 years ago

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The Lady of the Autumn Court: what the fuck is happening in Autumn (part 2)

As I said in my Eris Vanserra post, it seems that the Lady of the Autumn Court is a bigger piece to the Eris and Lucien puzzles.

We don't know what the fuck has been happening in the Forest House but we do the following:

The Lady of the Autumn Court is/was extremely powerful

Lucien (and to some extent Eris) are mama's boys (even though Lucien has been exiled for centuries)

The Lady met Helion before she was married to Beron

At least one of the seven brothers - Lucien - is Helion's child, but Helion saved the Lady after she had already had some kids (so Eris probably isn't his, even though they both have amber eyes)

The Lady chose to stay with Beron

Beron is aware of the affair between Helion and the Lady

Beron is physically abusive towards the Lady and had tortured Eris

Helion does not know Lucien is his heir, but Eris seems to know Lucien isn't Beron's son

Things that aren't mentioned below the cut, but are interesting:

Eris is the ringleader of the brothers, the commander of Beron's forces, and is Beron's most trusted son (the other three don't even have names)

In ACOWAR, Eris says has never denied Beron anything - except to save Lucien - but is angling for the throne and betraying him in ACOFAS and ACOSF (this reminds me of Lorcan betraying Maeve for her own good in TOG)

Beron wanted to kill Lucien for wanting to leave Autumn and marry Jesminda (this doesn't seem like a good reason if he isn't in line for the throne - or isn't part of their bloodline, but I guess Beron doesn't need a reason to be cruel)

Helion alludes to having trouble at home in ACOSF

The remaining unnamed brothers are all angling for the throne (this reminds me of the Khaganate in TOG and the Cruel Prince)

I got a little carried away with the color coding, but here's every major scene involving and discussing the Lady of the Autumn Court (and some breadcrumbs because I'm convinced SJM is purposeful in her writing)

Rhysand uses the Lady of the Autumn Court taunt Lucien in ACOTAR:

Rhysand’s venom-coated smile grew. “You draw blood from me, Lucien, and you’ll learn how quickly Amarantha’s whore can make the entire Autumn Court bleed. Especially its darling Lady.” The color leached from Lucien’s face, but he held his ground. It was Tamlin who answered. “Put your sword down, Lucien.” Rhysand ran an eye over me. “I knew you liked to stoop low with your lovers, Lucien, but I never thought you’d actually dabble with mortal trash.” My face burned. Lucien was trembling—with rage or fear or sorrow, I couldn’t tell. “The Lady of the Autumn Court will be grieved indeed when she hears of her youngest son. If I were you, I’d keep your new pet well away from your father.”

The Lady of the Autumn Court also helps Feyre with one of her tasks:

A door clicked open somewhere down the hall, and I shot to my feet. An auburn head peered at me. I sagged with relief. Lucien— Not Lucien. The face that turned toward me was female—and unmasked. She looked perhaps a bit older than Amarantha, but her porcelain skin was exquisitely colored, graced with the faintest blush of rose along her cheeks. Had the red hair not been indication enough, when her russet eyes met mine, I knew who she was. I bowed my head to the Lady of the Autumn Court, and she inclined her chin slightly. I supposed that was honor enough. “For giving her your name in place of my son’s life,” she said, her voice as sweet as sun-warmed apples. She must have been in the crowd that day. She pointed at the bucket with a long, slender hand. “My debt is paid.” She disappeared through the door she’d opened, and I could have sworn I smelled roasting chestnuts and crackling fires in her wake.

Rhys (while wearing the mask of hte High Lord) uses her to taunt Lucien again in ACOMAF:

“Little Lucien,” Rhys purred. “Didn’t the Lady of the Autumn Court ever tell you that when a woman says no, she means it?”

“Prick,” Lucien snarled, storming past his sentinels, but not daring to touch his weapons. “You filthy, whoring prick.”

Lucien explaining how he was treated since Beron may suspect he's Helion's heir and as we know from Tamlin: future high lords have physical markers:

His jaw tightened. “As the youngest of seven sons, I wasn’t particularly needed or wanted. Perhaps it was a good thing. I was able to study for longer than my father allowed my brothers before shoving them out the door to rule over some territory within our lands, and I could train for as long as I liked, since no one believed I’d be dumb enough to kill my way up the long list of heirs. And when I grew bored with studying and fighting … I learned what I could of the land from its people. Learned about the people, too.”

“I’d say that sounds more High-Lord-like than the life of an idle, unwanted son.”

A long, steely look. “Did you think it was mere hatred that prompted my brothers to do their best to break and kill me?”

This may not relate to the Lady of the Autumn Court's relationship with Helion, but I'm gathering all the crumbs (why does Eris hesitate before calling his brothers brothers?)

“You hunted me down like an animal,” I cut in. “I think we’ll choose to believe the worst.”

Eris’s pale face flushed. “I was given an order. And sent to do it with two of my … brothers.”

Eris has no love for Beron (he literally asks Rhys to kill him), but he does seem to protect the Lady during the High Lord's Meeting:

“If you want proof that we are not scheming with Hybern,” Rhysand said blandly to them all, “consider the fact that it would be far less time-consuming to slice into your minds and make you do my bidding.”

Only Beron was stupid enough to scoff. Eris was just angling his body in his chair—blocking the path to his mother.

Helion and Lady of Autumn lock eyes:

The violence simmering off my friends was enough to boil the pool at our toes as the High Lord of Autumn filed through the archway, his sons in rank behind him, his wife—Lucien’s mother—at his side. Her russet eyes scanned the room, as if looking for that missing son.

They settled instead on Helion, who gave her a mocking incline of his dark head. She quickly averted her gaze.

The High Lords discuss the past war:

(also reminder: Eris has Amber Eyes like Helion)

Helion shrugged, the sun catching in the embroidered gold thread of his tunic. “Indeed, though it seems Tamlin is already ahead of me. The Spring Court must be evacuated.” His amber eyes darted between Tarquin and Beron. “Surely your northern neighbors will welcome them.”

Beron’s lip curled. “We do not have the resources for such a thing.”

“Right,” Viviane said, “because everyone’s too busy polishing every jewel in that trove of yours.”

Beron threw her a glare that had Kallias tensing. “Wives were invited as a courtesy, not as consultants.”

Viviane’s sapphire eyes flared as if struck by lightning. “If this war goes poorly, we’ll be bleeding out right alongside you, so I think we damn well get a say in things.”

“Hybern will do far worse things than kill you,” Beron counted coolly. “A young, pretty thing like you especially.”

Kallias’s snarl rippled the water in the reflection pool, echoed by Mor’s own growl.

Beron smiled a bit. “Only three of us were present for the last war.” A nod to Rhys and Helion, whose face darkened. “One does not easily forget what Hybern and the Loyalists did to captured females in their war-camps. What they reserved for High Fae females who either fought for the humans or had families who did.” He put a heavy hand on his wife’s too-thin arm. “Her two sisters bought her time to run when Hybern’s forces ambushed their lands. The two ladies did not walk out of that war-camp again.” Helion was watching Beron closely, his stare simmering with reproach.

The Lady of the Autumn Court kept her focus on the reflection pool. Any trace of color drained from her face. Dagdan and Brannagh flashed through my mind—along with the corpses of those humans. What they’d done to them before and after they’d died

After Nesta makes her speech:

She looked to Beron and his family as she finished. Only the Lady and Eris seemed to be considering—impressed, even, by the strange, simmering woman before them.

After Azriel attacks Eris:

Beron struck—only for his fire to bounce off a hard barrier of my own. I lifted my gaze to the High Lord of Autumn. “That’s twice now we’ve handed you your asses. I’d think you’d be sick of the humiliation.”

Helion laughed

---

Eris, wisely, averted his eyes. And said, “Apologies, Morrigan.”

His father actually gawked at the words. But something like approval shone on the Lady of Autumn’s face as her eldest son settled himself once more.

Thesan rubbed his temples. “This does not bode well.”

But Helion smirked at his retinue, crossing an ankle over a knee and flashing those powerful, sleek thighs. “Looks like you owe me ten gold marks.”

Feyre loses her shit:

Beron shielded barely fast enough to block me, but the wake singed Eris’s arm—right through the cloth. And the pale, lovely arm of Lucien’s mother.

---

The Lady of Autumn was clutching her arm, angry red splattered along the moon-white skin. No glimmer of pain on that face, though. I said to her as I reclaimed my seat, “I’m sorry.”

Her eyes lifted toward mine, round as saucers.

Beron spat, “Don’t talk to her, you human filth.”

Helion tells the story of the Affair:

Helion tapped a finger against the carved arm of his couch. “He played games in the War and it cost him—dearly. His people still remember those choices—those losses. His own damn wife remembers.”

Helion had looked at the Lady of Autumn repeatedly during the meeting. I asked, carefully and casually, “What do you mean?”

Helion’s jaw clenched. “The Lady of the Autumn Court was sent to stay with her sisters, her younger children packed off to other relatives. To spread out the bloodline.” He dragged a hand through his sable hair. “Hybern attacked their estate. Her sisters bought her time to run. Not because she was married to Beron, but because they loved each other. Fiercely. She tried to stay, but they convinced her to go. So she did—she ran and ran, but Hybern’s beasts were still faster. Stronger. They cornered her at a ravine, where she became trapped atop a ledge, the beasts snapping at her feet

Helion didn’t so much as shift in his chair. “She was still young—though she’d been married to that delightful male for nearly two decades. Married too young, the marriage arranged when she was twenty.”

---

But it was Mor who said coolly, “I heard a rumor once, Helion, that she waited before agreeing to that marriage. For a certain someone who had met her by chance at an equinox ball the year before.”

I tried not to blink, not to let any of my rising interest surface.

The fire banked to embers and Helion threw a half smile in Mor’s direction. “Interesting. I heard her family wanted internal ties to power, and that they didn’t give her a choice before they sold her to Beron.”

“How long did the affair last?” I asked. That withdrawn female … I couldn’t imagine it.

Helion snorted. “Is that a polite question for a High Lady to be asking?”

But the way he spoke, that smile … I only waited, using silence to push him instead.

Helion shrugged. “On and off for decades. Until Beron found out. They say the lady was all brightness and smiles before that. And after Beron was through with her … You saw what she is.”

“What did he do to her?”

“The same things he does now.” Helion waved a hand. “Belittle her, leave bruises where no one but him will see them.”

I clenched my teeth. “If you were her lover, why didn’t you stop it?” The wrong thing to say. Utterly wrong, by the dark fury that rippled across Helion’s face.

“Beron is a High Lord, and she is his wife, mother of his brood. She chose to stay. Chose. And with the protocols and rules, Lady, you will find that most situations like the one you were in do not end well for those who interfere.

I didn’t back down, didn’t apologize. “You barely even looked at her today.”

“We have more important matters at hand.”

“Beron never called you out for it?”

“To publicly do so would be to admit that his possession made a fool of him. So we continue our little dance, these centuries later.” I somehow doubted that beneath that roguish charm and irreverence, Helion felt it was a dance at all.

But if it had ended centuries ago, and she’d never seen him again, had let Beron treat her so abominably …

The Lucien Paternity Revelation:

While we spoke, I said down the bond, Helion is Lucien’s father. Rhys was silent. Then— Holy burning hell. His shock was a shooting star between us.

I let my gaze dart through the room, half paying attention to Helion’s musing on the wall and how to repair it, then dared study the High Lord for a heartbeat. Look at him. The nose is the same, the smile. The voice. Even Lucien’s skin is darker than his brothers’. A golden brown compared to their pale coloring.

It would explain why his father and brothers detest him so much—why they have tormented him his entire life.

My heart squeezed at that. And why Eris didn’t want him dead. He wasn’t a threat to Eris’s power—his throne. I swallowed. Helion has no idea, does he?

It would seem not.

The Lady of Autumn’s favorite son—not only from Lucien’s goodness. But because he was the child she’d dreamed of having … with the male she undoubtedly loved.

Beron must have discovered the affair when she was pregnant with Lucien.

He likely suspected, but there was no way to prove it—not if she was sharing his bed, too. Rhys’s disgust was a tang in my mouth. I have no doubt Beron debated killing her for the betrayal, and even afterward. When Lucien could be passable as his own of spring—just enough to make him doubt who had sired his last son.

I wrapped my head around it. Lucien not Beron’s son, but Helion’s. His power is flame, though. They’ve mused Beron’s title could go to him.

His mother’s family is strong—that was why Beron wanted a bride from their line. The gift could be hers.

You never suspected?

Not once. I’m mortified I didn’t even consider it.

What does this mean, though?

Nothing—ultimately nothing. Other than the fact that Lucien might be Helion’s sole heir

#LONG post #lady of autumn #lucien vanserra #autumn court #beron vanserra #eris vanserra #helion spell cleaver #acotar #lady of the autumn court #forest house #a court of wings and ruin #high lord's meeting #a court of silver flames #kp analysis #acotar series #mtp

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xiaojusaur · 4 years ago

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Baby Don’t Like It

Pairing: Xiaojun x Female!Reader

Word Count: 3.2K

Genre: Smut, Fluff (if you squint)

Warnings: Cheating reader, Oral (giving/receiving), Gagging, Deep throat, Bondage, Dirty talking, Edging, Unprotected sex, Mention of impregnating

Summary: Inspired by “Baby Don’t Like It” of NCT 127, you will re-encounter with the love of your life, Xiaojun. You two will revive your undying love, even if that means meeting behind your husband’s back.

For @neosmutcollective ‘s 3rd Event: Risqué

“We’re leaving tomorrow to China,” your husband announced instead of suggesting it.

“We?” You asked in confusion.

“Yes, I have a business trip,” he explained bluntly, with no intention of explaining further, immersed in his phone.

“Alright...?”

That’s how you got to China. Usually your husband didn’t take you to his business trips, but this time he really dragged you with him. The reasons were still unknown to you, maybe it was because he needed to be there for a long time or because he didn’t want to leave you alone. Nevertheless, you were there already with just a few things in your suitcase, living in a small apartment.

You thought maybe he finally was going to give you the attention you needed, after all, you had 5 years of marriage. But after your 2nd anniversary, he wasn’t the same anymore. He barely had time for you, too preoccupied with his work... or maybe there was someone else... but you tried no to think about it.

You were the perfect wife: always giving him attention, cooking for him, cleaning the house, working hard. He really had no reason to look for someone else.....

Anyways, the fact is that you were there, stuck in China, far from your family, far from your friends, and surrounded by strangers.

One day, you saw the announcement of a festival near you and you decided to go to explore. Maybe that way you would get to know the place and make new friends.

That’s how you re-encountered with the love of you life, Xiao Dejun.

You were looking at some cute things at a stand when you heard that familiar voice, the distinctive breathy, mellow voice. You thought it was your imagination, but when you peaked with the corner of your eye to your right, you saw him there looking so beautiful with his dark hair parted on the middle. Gosh! How much you had missed him! It had been so long...

You decided to talk to him, “Xiaojun?”

He turned to you alarmed, but when he saw you, his face lit up completely. “Y/N?! Oh my God! What are you doing here?!” He came for a hug and you didn’t waste the opportunity, closing your eyes when his usual scent invaded your nostrils. He smelled so nice, like green tea.

“Hi! It has been so long!” You exclaimed as you two let go of each other.

“Yeah! I never thought I’d find you here!” He was excited to see you.

“Yeah, I’m around here with my husband, he came because of his job,” you explained.

The news that you were married were like a punch on the stomach to Xiaojun, but he tried to conceal it, “You got married? Congrats!”

But you knew him too well, and he knew you to see that you weren’t happy. “Yeah... thanks!”

“For how long are you staying here?” He asked with the hopes to see you again.

“I really don’t know... but I guess it’s gonna be a long time. My husband doesn’t really bring me with him on business trips,” you shrugged.

“Oh. Well, I’d like to keep in contact with you. Maybe bring you around to know the place. I live near here. It’s not good to be alone and not know anything, so I’ll show you around,” he nodded.

“Sure! I’d love that! I’m already bored in the apartment,” you confessed. He handed you his phone so you could note down your phone number.

After you exchanged numbers, it was time to say goodbye. “It was nice to see you again, let’s keep in touch,” he smiled.

“Yeah, let’s meet up soon!”

You don’t even know how it happened, how your feelings came back; after all, Xiaojun was your first and the love of your life.

He kept showing you around, taking you to cafés, to see beautiful places, talking and texting every day.

You noticed your feelings were back when every little thing Xiaojun did affected you big-time, like for example, a brush of his hand, when he stared for too long, when he called you late at night to keep you company.

But you shouldn’t be feeling that way... you are married! You were feeling guilty... but your husband, even though he forced you to come with him, didn’t give you attention.

One night, Xiaojun invited you to a cocktail party and you were getting ready when your husband arrived home. He caught you finishing your makeup. “Where are you going? Do we have an activity and I don’t remember?”

“No. A friend invited me to a party and I’m going, I’m already bored in here,” you said sharply.

“Since when you have friends in here?” He chuckled as if making fun of your loneliness.

“Since you don’t give me enough attention,” you said matter-of-factly.

“I have too much work,” he explained.

“Yeah, I know.” You applied red lipstick, grabbed your clutch and kept on walking.

Xiaojun was waiting outside, and when he saw you in that red dress, he felt like fainting. You, on the other hand, saw him with his red shirt and his dark hair brushed back, making his strong and bushy eyebrows stand out, you wanted to just jump on him.

You didn’t noticed, but your husband watched you from the window and the jealousy started to bubble inside of him when he saw Xiaojun lay his hand on the small of your back. How dare that stranger touch his wife like that?! You were definitely hearing from him when you arrived.

At the party, you shared some glasses of wine. You danced and talked some more, reliving some memories. You felt like teenagers in love. But you were grown ups, fully aware of what was happening.

Walking at the garden, Xiaojun took your hand in his, waiting for your reaction, waiting for you to shove your hand away... but you didn’t.

“Y/N,” he said softly.

“Yeah?” You felt like you knew what was about to happen.

“We are adults now, I think we should talk about what’s happening between us,” he trembled.

“I think we should,” you agreed.

“You’re married.... yet here we are. I’m catching feelings again. I can’t deny how attracted I am to you, but I can’t stop feeling this is wrong. I don’t know how you feel about this,” he was being shy, so cute.

“Xiaojun... My feelings for you never left. But you didn’t come back. And now that you’re here, I feel like my heart is going to explode with feelings. I also feel guilty, but you know what? I know my husband doesn’t care about me, and I know he’s seeing someone else. We have the peace that at least we haven’t done anything up until now,” you confessed.

“But I don’t know how much longer I can stop myself,” he whispered. He pulled you closer, his hands resting on your back. “I really, really want to kiss you again, and feel your lips, and hold you in my arms,” his voice was breathier than ever, you swear you wanted to listen it forever.

“Xiaojun, I need you.” That’s all it took to go back to square one. Xiaojun kissed you and you kissed him back fervently.

That night, Xiaojun took you to his place and after a long time, you made love like your first time, like when he made you his and showed you how to feel loved. That was the start of your dangerous affair.

Your husband was noticing something strange, but you always denied everything with the excuse that Xiaojun was a childhood friend. You weren’t technically lying, you just weren’t saying the whole truth. He would complain how you were spending too much time with Xiaojun and even mentioned the night of the cocktail. He was angry and even said you weren’t allowed to go out with Xiaojun again, not that it mattered, because even saying all that, he wouldn’t spend time with you. Of course, you kept seeing Xiaojun in secret, trying to be more careful this time.

Xiaojun and you would meet up in his house or in hotel rooms, and you fucked like hormonal teenagers, like bunnies in heat. He was so addictive and so were you for him. You couldn’t get enough of his scent, of his hands running through your body, his lips kissing your neck and his voice whispering right in your ear how good you felt.

Laying on your bed at night with your husband sleeping soundlessly, you would think about the obscene things you were doing with Xiaojun. He was capable to turn you into a completely different person.

Tonight, your husband said he was going out of town and he would come back the next day, so you seized the opportunity to bring Xiaojun home.

“Are you sure he’s gone?” He asked between passionate kisses.

“Yes,” you said shortly, eager to kiss him some more.

“You’re so naughty! This is so dangerous,” he really was worried.

“Relax, he’s not coming back any time soon,” you said as you pushed him to the bed.

Xiaojun smirked, “we are really fucking on the same bed you sleep with your husband. That’s hot.”

“I like the adrenaline,” you giggled and then took off your shirt. You straddled him, his hands automatically holding your waist.

“I can’t get enough of you,” he said in a smoky voice that made you bite your lip and proceeded to kiss your neck, nibbling and licking in the process. “You’re so beautiful.”

He rolled on the bed, pinning you underneath his body, and you smiled so maliciously, it gave him goosebumps. His pants were already feeling tight. He held your hand while he kissed his way down your body, from your neck, up your chest, your torso, and back up.

“Xiaojun please,” you whined. Your hands reached for his shirt to take it off and then your fingers desperately looked for the buttons of his pants.

“You’re so eager, huh?” He said mockingly.

“Always,” you smiled.

“I want to take my time with you today,” Xiaojun said as he unbuttoned your jeans.

You both were just in your underwear, but Xiaojun kept teasing you, kissing every inch of your body, running his hands over your skin. He got you so worked up, you couldn’t handle it anymore.

“Please Xiaojun, touch me.... I’m so, so wet,” you pleaded.

He hissed, “I know baby, I’m so hard for you.”

“God... I want you so bad,” you keened, feeling the mess in your panties.

“I’m gonna show you again how love feels. I can’t control myself around you,” he confessed.

“Please hurry,” you said desperately and he helped you sit on the bed to unclasp your bra. At the sight of your free breasts, he growled and quickly ran his fingers over them, pinching your hardened nipples.

The air was thicker and the sexual tension was unbearable.

Xiaojun finally took your underwear off, enjoying the way it was stained. He was amazed by your dripping core. “Oh my God,” he groaned. “I did that. Only I can do this, right baby?”

“Yes...” you hissed, “only you can make a mess out of me”.

“I’m just getting started,” he smiled mischievously while going down your body. Laying on his stomach, his head was right between your legs. He kissed and bit your thighs, you were panting already.

He was looking at you directly in the eyes through his long lashes when he gave the first lick to your slit, tearing a moan from your lips. His fingers held you open, while he devoured your pussy like a full course meal. His chin was covered in your juices, the whole picture so salacious. He enclosed your clit between his lips and sucked hard, making you scream “Fuck! Mmm!”

“Mmmm... so sweet, you taste so sweet,” he mumbled.

Xiaojun kept going until you couldn’t stand it anymore. But when you were about to explode he stopped, making you whine in frustration. “Please.... I wanna cum so bad!”

“You’ll cum on my dick, just wait a little longer. Let me enjoy your body some more.” His eyes were full of lust, you loved it.

You sat on the bed abruptly, scaring him a little, and then pushed him back. Without warning, you pulled down his briefs, freeing his length. He was shocked but he was so excited. “Two can play this game,” you said in a sultry voice and he groaned in response.

Next thing, you we’re bobbing your head up and down his shaft, sucking, licking, your face full of spit. Xiaojun couldn’t hold his moans in, letting them out in a chant, “Yeah, yeah, yeah, ohhhh my god baby.” It was music to your ears.

You deep throated him, gagging on his dick. “Ah! God! You’re so damn good with that mouth,” he pulled your hair, trying to make you stop. He could cum with the mere sight of your eyes looking at him while having his cock down your throat, so he made you stop before it happened.

You crawled on top of him while Xiaojun looked at you with beckoning eyes, his mouth open ajar. You leaned down to kiss him again, you couldn’t get enough of his mouth, and he ran a hand up your back and then squeezed one of your boobs.

“How about we try something different tonight?” You suggested suddenly.

“What is it?” He asked intrigued.

“Tie me up,” you said while passing a thick black ribbon to him.

“You want me to tie your hands?” He asked in confusion while looking at the ribbon.

“I know you won’t hurt me, would you like that?” You were talking with an innocent voice, like if you weren’t just asking to be tied and fucked on your mattress.

He chuckled and caressed your cheek, “If that’s what you want.” He aimed to please you after all.

You gave him your hands, joined by the wrists, and he just laughed while wrapping the ribbon around them, securing it with a cute bow.

You laid back on the bed, looking so inviting for Xiaojun. Seeing you there, all sprawled for him, at his mercy, looking so vulnerable, made him shake. You were a danger for him but he loved the risk. He didn’t even know what to do, how to start.

“Xiaojun,” you called him softly. And when he looked at you without saying a word, you just whispered, “fuck me.”

Your tied hands were grasping the bed head bars. Xiaojun positioned himself between your legs, passing his delicate fingers through your slit as if to check if you still were ready for him. And you were, you totally were, because the mere sight of him made you wet. He made everything sexier because you knew every gesture was full of love, love that you craved.

The first thrust was always magical, for both of you; it was the moment you felt closer.

“God,” he grunted and you hissed in response. Xiaojun was not huge, but he was able to make you feel so full.

The room was full of gasps, lewd sounds of your bodies, and a strong smell of sex. The creaking of the bed could tell anyone what was happening in there.

“Xiaojun, fuck me harder, please,” you begged in a languid moan.

“You want me to fuck you harder, huh? You want me to break this bed and let your loser of a husband know that his wife is being railed by another man? Hmm?” He said through his teeth while increasing the pace. Xiaojun didn’t know from where he got that confidence, but you seemed to like it because you were a moaning mess.

“Fuck yeah! You’re the only one I like,” you panted.

“I love it, I love it, I love being inside you,” he then groaned.

Xiaojun was holding your waist tightly, using it as a leverage for going harder and you were holding to the bars for your dear life, a strand of curses leaving your mouth. Your breasts were jumping all over the place and he loved it. He felt his orgasm arriving, but he didn’t want to finish yet, he wanted more time with you, so he slowed down.

“Ride me, baby,” he demanded, letting you have the control now. You nodded and waited for him to untie you. As soon as you were free, he laid back on your bed, pecking your lips in the process. You straddled him, grabbing his length to line it with your entrance. He hissed at the warmth of your hand and then moaned when you sinked down his erection, his hands quickly flying to grab your waist.

For him, you were a goddess he wanted to worship his whole life. In his eyes, you were the most gorgeous woman he had ever met and he wanted to keep you forever.

This position allowed him to reach deeper into you, touching your sweet spot constantly. Driven by his feelings and lust, he started meeting your hips midway, looking at you directly in the eyes while thrusting you. His eyebrows were furrowed, he was concentrated on the feeling of you.

“I’m gonna cum,” he informed you with a moan. “Where do you want it?”

“Inside,” you panted, not thinking straight on your answer. He groaned in response, “You want my babies? What if you get pregnant?”

“I like the danger of it,” you smirked.

“So naughty.”

You clung to him as he did to you, sweaty bodies sticking to each other. He kissed you passionately as you hugged each other and he orgasmed into you. The warm sensation made you shiver and it triggered your own high, sending you on a bliss. You held Xiaojun tighter, trying to ground yourself. He kept whispering sweet praises in your ear.

For the first time, you slept into each other’s arms, making your feelings for each other grow stronger. You wanted to risk everything for him, leave your husband and stay with Xiaojun for the rest of your life. Xiaojun was the place where you belonged.

On the morning, you made breakfast together, looking like a just-married couple, him grabbing your butt cheek every time he walked behind you, you kissing him any time he got near.

The urge of being together all the time was unbearable. But being married, you didn’t know how to to escape the claws of your boring husband. Xiaojun, on the other hand, was offering you the world. A life together with the love of your life was very appealing. Many times you two planned to escape and leave everything behind, but that seemed unfair, because after all, your husband haven’t been bad with you, he has been uninterested and distant.

You decided to wait for your husband to confess he had someone else, even though you were sure he knew you were screwing around with Xiaojun. The proof was everywhere, even in the bed you shared. And if he had noticed, he chose to ignored it.

But if something was true was that you had fallen deeply in love with Xiaojun and Xiaojun with you...

#neosmutcollective #neosmutsongs #kwritersworldnet #ksmutclub #nct smut #nct imagines #fanfic #nct scenarios #xiaojun #xiao dejun #wayv #xiaojun wayv #wayv scenarios #wayv smut

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flames-bring-a-ton-of-ash · 3 years ago

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Irresistible Danger - Part 61

Synopsis: After being caught outside the compound on your own, Negan decides to punish you in the best way possible ;)

Words: 2,591

Warnings: nsfw, smut, swearing

ID Masterlist can be found HERE

Masterlist of all my fics can be found HERE

Taking Care of Business

You were in shock and at a loss for words, while Amber’s impatient expression as she stared you down meant that she obviously expected you to say something. When it became apparent that you weren’t going to kickstart this lovely conversation, she gave an exasperated sigh and rolled her eyes before breaking the silence with a haughty voice that instantly grated on your nerves.

“Well, are you going to let me in, or what?”

Your subconscious gave a resounding scream of ‘fuck off!’ and hissed at Amber, while your brain warned to proceed with caution. The last thing you wanted right now was a fight, but it wasn’t clear which path led to a worse confrontation: letting her in or telling her to leave. Deciding to attempt civility, you clamped down the words ‘I’d really rather not’ that were on the tip of your tongue, and instead gave a small nod and stood back from the doorway to let her in. The sickly sweet smell of flowers hit when she passed by, and you had the incredibly random thought of where the fuck does she get perfume in an apocalypse?

Ignoring the unimportant question, you watched as she glanced around your room, eyes flickering over the small bed, the wooden chair piled with clothes, and then the stack of old rickety crates holding your belongings. Her face scrunched up in utter disdain of the meager surroundings, solidifying what Ben had once said about her coming from a privileged background before the apocalypse. Her room upstairs probably had all kinds of fancy furniture and clothes. You wanted to feel annoyed, even a bit ashamed, but then remembered whose bed you were now spending the night in and immediately lost all sense of self-consciousness. At the end of the day, it didn’t matter what material possessions she might own, because you had Negan and she didn’t. No matter how this conversation went, that fact wasn’t going to change, and nothing she said was going to ruin your newfound happiness. You were still nervous and feeling a bit cagey being in the same room as the woman who was far from your biggest fan, but the security of knowing where you and Negan stood with one another helped you to keep calm and project an air of indifference.

However, you still didn’t want to play this too arrogantly, and decided not to close the door the entire way, pushing it so that there was still a centimeter of space keeping it unlatched. The crack was small enough for her to not have noticed, and gave you that extra padding of reassurance. You didn’t trust her one bit, and wanted an easier exit, if necessary, or a way to hopefully be heard if you yelled for help. Not that you were too worried about a physical confrontation; you looked up and down her petite, small frame and thought, you can take her if you have to. The subconscious gave an aggressive yell of agreement and stared Amber down with laser-like focus.

Not wanting to make any assumptions, you decided to stand there silently and wait her out. It didn’t take long, as she abruptly turned to you with a sneer and said, “I bet you’re feeling mighty proud of yourself right about now.”

Well then, guess we’re going with no pretense or attempt at subtlety. Raising your brows in surprise, you honestly replied, “I’m not sure I know what you mean.” You were certain this had to do with Negan, but weren’t sure if it was in regards to the last few weeks, if she had heard about the scene in the cafeteria, or, perhaps, it was something else entirely.

She narrowed her eyes at you and practically hissed, “Don’t play stupid with me. I know that you’re the one who convinced him to throw us all out.”

You couldn’t hide the look of utter surprise at her words. Had Negan said something to the wives today? But when?! You had seen him off on the run to the outpost this morning, and there had only been perhaps a 20 minute space of time from when his men had sat down for dinner and he himself had entered the cafeteria. Had he spent that small chunk of time talking to his wives?

Apparently so, as Amber confirmed a few seconds later.

“I can’t believe he would just march in there and tell us, tell me, that we’re not needed anymore.” She scoffed, as if the idea was laughable. “And I bet it was your idea that we lose our rooms too, right? You couldn’t even let us stay where we were, let us be on the same floor as him. No, you somehow convinced him to kick us out, and tell us we’re to ‘reintegrate into the community’. What the fuck!”

She had used her fingers in air quotes around the reintegrate part, which would’ve been a bit humorous if not for her screeched curse at the end. Your emotions were all jumbled, since part of you wanted to fist pump with joy that Negan had decided to officially move out his wives and make them a part of the community, while another part of you knew that to let your happiness show would only cause Amber to escalate. And while you didn’t feel too bad for her, especially considering the way she’d treated other women like Maria and Trixie, you could still relate on a human level to the shitty feeling of being unwanted. It was that little crumb of empathy that you tried to lead with, despite the subconscious begging you to just bypass all that and use a fist instead.

“I honestly wasn't aware that he did that,” you said, hoping she could hear the sincerity in your voice. “I understand that it’s gotta be frustrating to-”

“Don’t try to feed me bullshit by saying you understand!” she interrupted, eyes blazing with anger. “You think that just because you waltzed in there with your little food trays and spread your legs for him whenever he wants that it makes you better than us. You could’ve played by the rules and become a wife like the rest of us, but nooo. You must think you’re really fucking special, to screw us all over and wreck the entire system! News flash bitch, you’ll never be enough to satisfy him, and he’ll get bored with you soon enough. Then we’ll see how much you ‘understand’ when the tables turn and he asks us to come back while you’re the one tossed to the side! Because that’s what will happen in time, and it’ll make him look weak and indecisive to the entire community. I hope you’re prepared for that, for his potential downfall to be all. Your. Fault!”

Well so much for going the empathetic route, you thought as a spark of anger burned in your gut. She stood there, breathing heavily from her outburst and wearing a cruel smirk as she waited to see what effect her words would have on you. Said effect was that both your subconscious and brain were now wielding swords, ready to go to battle and take her out.

Any desire to try and make peace flew out the window, as you saw through her act and straight to exactly what she was trying to accomplish by confronting you. How dare she take her own hurt and insecurities and try to throw them back on you. And what made you extra mad was how calculated they were to cause injury. She had spit the words with pure venom, designed to seep into your veins and poison all confidence that what you had with Negan was real.

If she had said this to you even two days ago, it might’ve actually worked, might’ve combined with that padlocked box of questions and been the tipping point to send you over the edge into fully believing every word. There had also been the ball of self-doubt, which until the other night had been constantly following you around and whispering that Negan would never give up a group of women who were always at his beck and call for someone as independent and outspoken as you. That he couldn’t possibly change his rules so completely for you. That he couldn’t possibly love you.

But this wasn’t two days ago, and you knew better now.

Spine stiffening, you stared Amber down and said in a cool yet stern voice, “It’s obvious that nothing I say will make you happy, unless it’s that I leave Negan alone and let you have him.” You saw her eyes spark in anticipation at the words, as if she expected you to do just that. “But that’s not going to happen.”

Her fists clenched at her sides, and she opened her mouth, probably to spout more vitriol. But you weren’t having it. In fact, she wasn’t even worth the effort of fighting, and refusing to spend another second entertaining her bullshit would be a more satisfying win than arguing back and forth.

“I think it’s time for you to leave.”

“Why you-”

“Leave, Amber. Before this escalates and ends in a public and unattractive way. Unless you want others to see you escorted out of the Sanctuary.”

You were possibly talking out your ass with that last bit, since you didn’t have the authority to ban anyone from the compound. However, she didn’t need to know that, and you could tell that the threat worked when her mouth clamped shut, eyes blazing with hatred as she marched towards you. For a moment, you had the fear that she was going to start a physical altercation. Instead, she angrily stomped past, a hair’s breadth away from knocking into you as the pungent smell of fake flowers trailed after her.

“This isn’t over, bitch.”

The words were said as she grabbed the knob and threw back the door dramatically. It flew open and slammed into the wall, swinging mere inches from your face. It would’ve been an impressive exit, except that she had barely set foot out into the hall when every muscle in her body went taut as a bowstring, and her face drained of all color as she looked at something up and to the left.

Taking a step forward to glance out the doorway, your eyes widened in shock at the sight of Negan standing right outside. You weren’t sure how long he had been there, but seeing as how the door had been unlatched and opened a crack the entire time, he had to have at least heard the end of your conversation.

Her mouth opened but no words came out, and you knew that she was frantically trying to come up with a way to twist the situation. If given enough time, she’d make herself look squeaky clean and try to manipulate things so that it would appear as if the confrontation was somehow your fault. Rather than give her time to come up with a bullshit excuse, Negan spoke first, his tone low and deadly serious.

“Don’t say a fucking word. Nothing’s changed from what I told you earlier, and I don’t want any more fucking feedback about it. You and I are fucking done, and if you can’t handle that, then you’ll be escorted the fuck out first thing tomorrow morning, just like she fucking said.”

You felt a spark of satisfaction at his agreement with your threat to make her leave, at the way he stood in solidarity with you. Amber deflated slightly at his words, but she still glanced back at you over her shoulder, eyes shooting daggers. Unable to help one moment of pure pettiness, you looked her square in the eye and got the last word.

“I’d say this is fucking over.”

She knew she’d been beaten, you could see it written all over her face. But Amber was prideful, and she’d not crumple in front of an audience. Instead, she held her head high and walked quickly past Negan without a second glance. The two of you watched her march down the hall and disappear into the stairwell, and you had a feeling that, despite her brave face, she was going to find somewhere private to hide and lick her emotional wounds.

Negan turned to you, the anger slipping from his expression as he scanned up and down your body, as if to make sure that there was no physical injury. Thankfully, all wounds had been emotionally inflicted and they were nothing more than shallow cuts, rather than the deep stabs Amber had been hoping for.

“How long have you been standing there?”

His lips curled up into a pleased smirk, as he replied, “Long enough to know that you had the situation fucking handled, and didn’t need my help.”

You huffed out a tiny laugh at that, pleased to know that while he had been listening, he hadn’t just charged in and taken over. He’d been willing to stay back and let you deal with the conflict on your own...had trusted your ability to take care of it.

You started to exit the room and close the door, but halted when he said, “Why don’t you pack a bag first.”

“What?” you blinked rapidly at him in confusion.

He shrugged casually, as if to try and offset the seriousness of his words. “Since you’re spending nights with me, it only makes fucking sense to move some of your stuff up to my room. Maybe then you won’t keep stealing my fuckin’ toothbrushes and clothes. Maybe if you ask nicely enough, I’ll even clear out a drawer or two.”

It took a few seconds to process that Negan had just done the apocalypse version of asking you to start moving in with him. Your subconscious and brain had linked arms and were twirling in a circle while tossing confetti into the air, but you tried to act as cool and casual as Negan had about it, nodding and turning back into your room. It wasn’t until you were sure he couldn’t see your face that you allowed a huge grin and silent scream of excitement.

Grabbing the brown sack, you threw in half your t-shirts (aka the ones that were currently clean) and the navy blue gym shorts. A slight blush tinted your cheeks as you tried to quickly and discreetly throw in a few pairs of underwear and socks, though you knew he was standing in the doorway and watching your every move. You also grabbed the toothbrush and toothpaste, but left the shower items. Negan had plenty of those to share, and you weren't willingly giving up the luxury of his fluffy towels and fancy soaps. You topped off the bag with some extra hair ties, a comb, and the copy of Harry Potter. It wasn’t everything, but it put enough of a dent in your belongings that you wouldn’t need to stop back here every evening after dinner, and could instead go straight to his rooms.

Walking towards him, you went to sling the bag strap up over your arm, but he held out his hand, palm up in offering. You gave a joking eye roll, but passed over the bag so that he could sling it up over his own broad shoulder. Instinctively reaching for his hand, you laced your fingers with his and gave a squeeze of thanks, as the two of you started off down the hall and upstairs to his room.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

#negan #negan x reader #ash writes #negan fanfiction #irresistible danger #negan fanfics #twd #the walking dead #negan's thirst squad #negan slow burn #negan x you #negan x oc #slow burn #twd negan #fanfics #fanfic #fanfiction

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pomegranates-and-blood · 4 years ago

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νοσταλγία (Chapter 41)

νοσταλγία Masterlist

Pairing: Ivar/Reader

Word Count: 3.8k

Warnings: The usual

A/N: This was difficult to write, burnout hit me hard. But I like the result, and I hope you like it too. Ik I said I was going to stray from Saturday updates, but here we are, I am apparently once again/still on Saturday updates

Also, remember Persephone is depicted as a woman almost-always wearing a red veil to cover her face, since it is symbolic of the veil brides wore in Ancient Greece.

You open your eyes, but all you can see is red. No, that isn’t right. Everything you see is tainted red, like you’re looking through a piece of stained glass.

Somewhere at your back there’s a laugh, melodic but cold, but you don’t bother turning, you know she isn’t there. Instead, you step forward, and the ground under your feet trembles, as if the earth is split in two.

There’s the faintest of touches on your face, the uncertain caress of hands not used to gentleness; and there’s the most familiar call of your name, even if it will forever sound foreign.

You see him past the red, you make out the shape of his lips, and the curve of his nose. But you miss the blue of his eyes.

And you lift the veil.

When you open your eyes you almost expect to have the world be tainted red, but you shake off those thoughts before you are fully awake.

You settle better in your place, feeling your hair uncharacteristically restrained. It is then that you remember the loose and half-done braid Ivar wove into your hair last night, that has surprisingly held through the night. These people and their damn braids.

When you turn around in your place you find your husband still asleep, turned on his side towards you, one arm stretched towards you.

Eyelids heavy, you find how easy it would be to just drift off again. But you don’t want to fall asleep yet, you want to linger in this world between worlds, between awake and asleep, for a while longer. For the first time, though, you realize that there is no reason to wish to live in that world between worlds.

For the first time, your dreams do not haunt you with the uncertain future that hangs by a choice that as time went on seemed less and less like a choice you could stand to make, and the world you wake up to isn’t stained with the ever-persistent reminder of the borrowed time you lived in.

For the first time, the dreams speak of a choice made, and the world around you -unchanged, even if it is so different from before- is the result of that choice.

Blinking past the daze that threatens to pull you back under, you focus on the man sleeping by your side, and you feel your lips pulling into a lazy smile.

You remember those first mornings you spent in the same bed as him, how you’d linger hopelessly on Ivar’s features, relaxed in sleep, eyes guiltily taking in what your pride didn’t let you while he was awake, categorizing each faint scar and angle.

From the slope of his brow, to the straight line of his nose, down to his lips -lips that on that first night spent as husband and wife you kissed, lips that you longed to kiss again each night since-.

You truly don’t want to wake him, but you cannot remain idle, and restless fingers trail over his own, tracing the back of his hand, up to his forearm and the arm-ring he wears.

Your eyes follow the wanderings of your hand, and your attention is drawn to the glint of your wedding ring in the low light. It has been quite a while you have worn it, and yet, strangely, it almost feels like the first time.

Maybe that is what it should have been, maybe this is what your first morning as husband and wife should have been. Quiet, and love, and peace. Even if Ivar always disturbs the first one and claims to detest the last one.

Your fingers continue trailing up, and you are done pretending you don’t intend to wake him when you reach his head, and let your fingers trail aimlessly through Ivar’s hair, down to his face, the ghost of a caress over his cheek.

With a low hum from somewhere in his chest, Ivar turns his face towards your caress, the hand previously stretched between you reach up to softly grasp at your wrist.

It’s the blind acceptance of your affection, the subtle seeking of it, that makes your chest pull tight. It’s the blue of his eyes when he blinks past the draw of sleep to focus on you that robs you of breath.

And, as usual, it is your name leaving his lips in a sigh that makes you want to thank the Gods for this, for him.

“Stop waking me up when you’re bored.” He grumbles, making a foolish smile pull at your lips.

“I am not,” You argue, “I missed you.”

His eyebrows raise, and the face he makes tells you he doesn’t believe you, but there’s still lingering softness in him when he moves the hand he trapped with his won against the side of his face and places it before his mouth, breathing a kiss over your knuckles.

“Missed me, hm?”

“I was bored of missing you, perhaps.” You concede finally.

You have missed him, if you are honest. Missed what it was like before you told him about the Greeks, when he didn’t stop himself from reaching for you, when those barriers you were once so interested in studying and crossing had become dust, when the fear of the choice you’d make was a distant one.

Even if it has been a couple of weeks since you told him, you have already found a certain routine, even in the wavering certainties, and you know that you never have to miss him for long.

Still, that is over. Once the words are able to leave your lips, once you are able to find a way to prove that your choice is him; then you won’t have to miss him for long, at least not like that.

“I didn’t tell you, last night. I tried to.”

Pulled away from your musings, you hum in question, “Tell me what?”

“You make me happy,” He tells you, a flickering smile that is so unusual, so young, that your heart skips a beat. Ivar’s eyes are unusually soft when he gazes at you, “Happier than I ever thought I could be.”

His father one told him happiness is nothing, and when Ivar told you of those words, he also told you he hasn’t really known what happiness feels like. It broke your heart then, and it still does, even if now it soars to hear these words.

“Is it nothing, then?”

His eyebrows raise, the smile is a tad more playful now, and tone light even if the words aren’t, “It is still terrifying.”

“Doesn’t that mean it is a good thing? Something worth keeping?”

“Weaknesses aren’t good things.”

“Not everything is about war.”

“Who said anything about war?” He retorts just as easily as you, the beginning of a smug smile on his lips, that you only roll your eyes at.

Ivar clears his throat, and when he speaks again his voice is quiet once again.

“It…keeps me awake, sometimes. Losing this. Kattegat, my brothers, the army,” A pause, and then, “You.

Your heart squeezes in your chest, because in all the things he did, he never made you doubt you had him. I am yours he told you last night, but you have known for a long time, since before he put a ring on your finger, that there were few things that could make you lose him.

“You already know that,” He states, voice soft, strangely muted. “I have told you so much already, sometimes I wonder if you really did bewitch me.

Your lips pull into a lazy smile, and you offer a non-committal shrug. Ivar’s mouth curves on one side, and he reaches for you, his hand rough but warm on the side of his face.

His thumb brushes gently -with a gentleness that is particular to him, you dare think, one that belongs to someone that isn’t used to much gentleness at all- under your eye when you lean into his touch, and you sigh.

“I…I never thought I’d have this, not really. Even if I had, I couldn’t have known it would feel like this,” For such a vague use of the word ‘this’, you find yourself understanding what he means, and yet you offer nothing but silence, expectant. “All my life, I would…I would watch them. My brothers, the other men. I had no choice but to watch. I knew I could never be like them, so I watched,” Ivar’s eyes fall from yours, and his gaze and his mind are lost in a place you weren’t fast enough to meet him at, in a life you were too late to be a part of. “And I would watch them with…with their wives, and how they would wait for them at the docks when they returned from a raid, and how they wouldn’t hesitate to touch or…” His brow furrows slightly, as if he is searching for the words, “-love them, and…it would feel like seeing a fire from afar. I knew it had to feel warm, I knew it had to feel…safe, and-…but I couldn’t know, not really. I couldn’t feel the warmth, I didn’t feel-…”

When his eyes focus on you again, you cannot help but hope the words he doesn’t say speak of how somehow you have been able to give the same he has you, and the warmth isn’t so distant just like the cold of Kattegat isn’t so biting for you.

You remember that first night as husband and wife, the faintest of trembles in his voice when he voiced a plea and tried making it sound like a command. Kiss me, he had asked you. You did, and now with distance your pride lets you admit you never quite forgot how he stilled under your gentle touch and how even then he leant towards the affection.

It would have been easier to hate him if the hunger would have been something he had no qualms about demanding be satiated. It would have been easier to forget he is human if out of all the things he could have asked for he hadn’t asked for softness.

Ivar continues,

“I would imagine it, sometimes. What it would be like, what it would feel like, to have a woman that would l-love me,” You don’t fail to notice the way his voice changes at those words, as if even saying it means something you could never truly understand. Your left hand reaches between you, fingers carefully tracing the side of his face. Ivar answers to your caress with a soft smile, but it turns rueful after a breath, “Pathetic, isn’t it? Poor Ivar, begging the Gods for someone to love him.”

Your chest pulls tight at his words, and you frown, affronted.

“There’s nothing pathetic about being human, you know,” You chastise, and Ivar meets your eyes, an anger that you know well, that you are familiar with by now, shining in his gaze. The anger of having shown more than what your pride wants you to, the anger of being more human than you would like to be. One of the first things you noticed about him was how he shared pieces of him as if he couldn’t do anything but, as if secrets and pain escaped his grip like sand, and left his lips as if you truly were what they say you are, and had bewitched him. That never changed, and you hope it never does. But the anger, the anger that looks a lot like apprehension, like pain; you hope that leaves. For now, you can do nothing but offer the beginning of a smile, “And I won’t let you speak of my husband like that.”

This time when his smile widens and softens, it remains that way. Ivar’s eyebrows raise slightly as he looks at you, defiance shining in his eyes in a way that makes a small chuckle leave your lips.

Gods, you love him.

His hand, rough and always warmer, grasps the one that cups the side of his face, and brings your fingers to his lips, kissing your knuckle right over your wedding ring. You have worn it for so long, and so many things have changed since he first put it on your finger, but you honestly can’t remember what it was like not wearing the gold band of engraved flowers you can trace with your fingers and engraved promises that aren’t so apparent.

“When I first saw you, in that field near Dublin, you…” His eyes lift to meet yours, before his gaze returns to your hand, and the gold ring that adorns it. “I saw you with that Greek, you were being so gentle towards him, so loving, so…warm. And then…” A short chuckle leaves his lips, still lost in the memory, “Then you took down a Viking with a shield that weighed more than you do, and one arrow.”

You chuckle, “I was lucky.”

“You were…” His eyes return to yours and the words die on his lips. When your smile widens as you wait for him to continue, his attention is diverted to your lips. You wonder if he is seeing in you the memory of that day. A little lost, a little dazed, he finishes, “A vision.”

Your heart does a strange thing on your chest, as if it were shocked off a regular rhythm by his words, and now stutters and stumbles to return to normalcy.

You offer a smile, and the faint squeeze of your hand on his as you tease softly,

“I am very much real, Ivar.”

A slow blink, and you wonder if he even heard you.

“You-…that day, you seemed like everything I ever wanted. Not just seemed like it, you were,” He confesses, a movement on his jaw to indicate he doubts whether he should continue. A few breaths go by until finally, his voice quiet, Ivar says, “You still are.”

“And you are everything I want.” You confess quietly, your heart suddenly beating a tad quicker, because the words you have known you have to say for a day now are at the tip of your tongue.

If we name things, we make them real, you told him once, the same words he reminded you of last night, when he jested you should remind him of your love more often.

But it is true, what you told him. The stories of your Gods, they were made real because someone spoke them, shared them. The vows you made, to take revenge against Stithulf, to accept Ivar as your husband; they made a promise real because they asked it to be spoken aloud.

And there is one more promise you must make real now.

You reach for the clasp at the back of your neck, taking off the pendant that has hung from your neck since you were old enough to remember. The twelve Olympians and the chthonic Gods in a small circle metal, with an inscription at the back, bend to the Fates, but don’t let them break you.

You lean up on one elbow, and hold the pendant between you, offering it to Ivar who only watches with curious eyes.

“When my father gave this to my mother, it was…a promise. They taught me that whatever promises are made before the Gods mean nothing if we aren’t willing to make promises of our own, on our own. This always meant a promise,” Your eyes linger on the engraving depicting the twelve Olympians and the chthonic Gods. When you speak next, your words are a promise of your own, even if under the fickle and transparent veil of speaking of the promises your parents made. “A promise to spend a lifetime side by side, and, if the Gods are merciful, an eternity after. I can’t…I can’t promise to find you in the life after this one, but I can promise to be with you for the rest of this life.

And now that you voice it, it is something so close to being true, to being real, that you think you may understand what he meant about that distant warmth.

Only this is different, this is a fire you can -and will, not Fate itself can stop you- get close enough to so you can truly feel its warmth.

“I-I want you to have this. My promise to you, my promise that…my choice will always be you.”

Ivar remains frozen, eyes on you as piercing as they were across a battlefield, yet as vulnerable as they were when you first told him you loved him.

Swallowing tightly, caught between assuming he doesn’t believe you or something worse, you take his hand.

Once, you stood next to him overlooking Kattegat, breathed past your hesitation and reached to put your hand over his, hoping and dreading the return of the hold. And now, just like then, he turns his hand to meet your own, pliant at your touch.

You place the pendant on the palm of his hand.

“Yo-You-…I don’t…” A breath that sounds somewhere between a gasp and choked inhale, “Y-You don’t have to choose yet.”

I am living on borrowed time as much as you are, you told him once. This is the first time you realize how true that was.

For as much as you usually babble on about things, now words seem to fail you, and with your heart beating wildly in your chest all you can offer is the smallest quirk of your mouth. One of the few times you are able to render him speechless, and you’re not allowed to enjoy it.

“I have made my choice. If Stithulf died today, nothing would change,” You tell him, as simply as you can put the choice that changes both your lives. “I want to spend the rest of my days with you.”

His eyes are wide, wider than you have ever seen them, and yet he remains deadly still. You dare think he isn’t even breathing.

Eventually, when Ivar speaks, it sounds rough and ragged, like he hasn’t spoken in a hundred years.

“They want you with them, they will come find you.”

“Again. They will come find me again,” You remind him slowly, “And just like I did before, I will say no.”

His eyes harden, “Why?”

“I love you, more than…more than anything,” At his silence, your heart stops and your brow furrows, “Do you not believe me?”

His eyes search yours, none of the franticness that coated his words gone from his eyes, where it only seems to simmer and heighten, where more than the search for truth you dare think he desperately looks for a lie.

Maybe believing you are lying would be easier, maybe believing what you say isn’t going to hold would be easier. Real things can be taken from you.

Past the clear tell of gritted teeth, Ivar insists, not answering your question,

“They will return to Greece when winter passes.”

“And I will still be here.” You reply, easily.

A breath, and the faintest of questions,

“You’re staying with me?”

“For as long as you’ll have me.”

“No matter what?”

“I would think I’ve proved I’m stubborn already.” You whisper, the jest a little lost in the way your voice swells with emotion.

Ivar holds your gaze, determined even if searching your eyes desperate for certainty, unwavering even if his brow trembles and so do his hands.

“Promise me.” He says. A dare, a command, a plea.

With your own left hand lifted to your lips, you press a kiss against your wedding ring, the closest you would ever have to a piece of jewelry where you are to vow something before the Gods themselves.

“I promise.”

His breath leaves him in something between a sigh and a gasp, a small, incredulous little smile curving his lips before it too falls.

You don’t have time to take in the way his expression falls, falls with something like relief, something like joy, something like love; because he leans forward, capturing your mouth with his in a kiss that makes everything but him disappear.

Your mouth moves against his with ease, not missing a beat in surrendering to the feel of him, your hands holding on to his shoulders with feather-light softness, while his grip tightly at whatever part of you he can find, a muffled sound that sounds a lot like a whimper when he presses closer, not accepting even an inch of space between you.

Before long you are on your back, and his arms cage you against the bed. His weight is a comfortable one over you, especially when your tongue teases at his and you make his strength falter, make Ivar pull away with something shaped like your name but that sounds like a prayer leaving his lips.

The shine in his eyes when he pulls back just a bit speaks of love, of gratitude, of relief; and it makes tears clog at your throat. How could there exist a world where you leave this, leave him, behind?

Ivar takes a breath, his chest expanding under your hands, reaching up with one hand to put your hair behind your ear, making your eyes flutter shut and the soft caress.

You barely have to tilt your head towards him when he is obeying the silent command, leaning down to kiss you again, this time letting you control the kiss, surrendering to the feel of you with a sigh that makes your stomach tighten.

His lips part from yours when the smile that curves at his mouth refuses to give way, and you breathe a little laugh at the still shocked joy written in his expression, from the faint red tint in his cheeks and ears to the way his eyes glisten and shine a tad more vibrant.

Ivar leans closer and kisses you again, a short press of his lips on yours before he whispers quietly, a secret even if it never was one,

“I love you,” You return the same, the words never more freeing as they leave your lips, and something in between a shaky sigh and a delighted chuckle leaves his lips. Holding your face gently in between shaking hands, he presses his brow against yours, “I-I’ll make you happy, I’ll-…anything you want, you’ll have it.”

The promises that leave his lips in between frantic kisses feel like vows that you won’t regret this, like reassurances that he will make sure the choice is worthwhile.

But it always was, just for this alone. For the feel of his arms around you, for the intoxicating taste of his lips, for the way your name sounds in his voice.

“All I want is you.”

“You have me.” There’s not a moment of hesitation, but the words -the certainty, the truth, the slight tremble in his voice and in his hands- make your heart pull tight in your chest.

Your eyes meet his and you promise, “And you have me.”

____ ____ ____

I hope you like this, and that I’m not too rusty after my little hiatus lol. Would love to know what you think!

Taglist: @youbloodymadgenius @heavenly1927 @toe-vind-ek-jou @xbellaxcarolinax @pieces-by-me @angelofthorr @samsationalwilson @peachyboneless @1950schick @punkrocknpearls @ietss @itsmysticalmystery @revolution-starter @chibisgotovalhalla @the-a-word-2214 @fae-sedai @crazybunnyladysworld @funmadnessandbadassvikings @stupiddarkkside @aprilivar @msrawog

#ivar the boneless x reader #ivar x reader #ivar the boneless imagine #ivar the boneless #ivar #νοσταλγία masterlist

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kaunis-sielu · 4 years ago

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A Knight’s Lady: 12

Steve leaves at first light, you hold your tears until he can’t see you anymore. Then you let them flow freely, Virginia loops an arm around your waist.

“They’re going to be back before you know it.” She assures you softly and you nod.

“I didn’t think I was this attached already.” You whisper wiping your tears from your face with a small laugh.

“How can I distract you?”

“Let’s work on my room, there’s still much that needs to be added and you’ve got such a wonderful eye.”

“That sounds perfect your Grace.” She agrees and so the next two days are spent designing and ordering a new desk and chair as well as a wardrobe to keep out of season clothing. You also decide to have the windows changed, the afternoon brings the sun to your windows and you’d like to really make the room sing with some colored glass.

On the third day Bucky comes to find you out in the garden.

“Your Grace, someone is coming.”

“Who?”

“They’re carrying a flag that looks familiar but we don’t know who they are.” You hurry to the front of the castle where you can see into the valley below and much to your horror you know the flag.

“Th-that’s my f-father.” You whisper, the horror evident in your voice.

“Did you invite him?”

“I would never. The only person I’d ever invite here is Daisy.” He nods, “Wanda! We need to get my hair up.”

“Steve likes it down.”

“Yes but my father won’t and since Steve isn’t here to defend me I need to play this very carefully.” Bucky frowns, “James, when he gets here you do not leave my side.”

“Of course.”

“No, no matter what happens, if his men start something, if there’s an emergency you do not leave my side.”

“On my honor your Grace, I will not leave your side.”

“Thank you.” You and Wanda hurry to your room and she does your hair up in a quick but elaborate looking updo.

“Your Grace you’re shaking.”

“My father, isn’t a good man. I don’t know why he’s here but I know it’s not good.”

“Bucky will protect you with his life, you should send Strange to Steve, let him know.”

“You’re a genius!” You scribble a note to Steve and hand it to her, “Give this to Strange, if you see Virginia tell her I need her in the great hall.”

“Yes your Grace.” She says and you and Bucky make your way to the great hall where you wait, your hands clasped in front of you to hide your shaking.

“Your Grace?” Virginia says joining you on the small raised space.

“Just stay here with me, my father is here and having a Lady at my side will help.”

“Yes, your Grace.” She stands off to the side like a Lady serving a Duchess would and moments later the doors swing open and your father and Hammer come stalking into the room like they own the place. Bucky stays back behind you in the shadows but you’re grateful for his watchful gaze.

“Father,”

“Silence.” He orders and you close your mouth with a snap, there’s some movement behind you but you don’t turn around, you trust Bucky will not leave you. “Where is the Duke?”

“He was called t-to the palace. For a k-k-knighting c-ceremony.”

“That isn’t what I heard. I heard he bored of you and went to marry the princess. So you’ll be coming home with me and I’ll see if Lord Thanos will still take you.” Virginia gasps drawing your father’s attention.

“You’re dismissed.” He says to her and she lifts her chin.

“The Duchess is the only one who can dismiss me.”

“How dare you,” Your father growls before turning on you, “Dismiss her!”

“No.” You say softly, your heart pounding in your chest. Your father takes four strides toward you and Bucky is there. Sword drawn.

“I am her father!” He sneers, “I will not have her disgrace our family any longer!” Hammer rushes Bucky and your father takes the opportunity to grab you and drag you down the steps. Then to your shock another person moves in and rips your father’s hand off of you then shoves you behind them.

“Steve.” You breathe, relief and wonder course through you.

“How dare you touch my wife!” Steve roars, “how dare you come into our home and threaten her?” He snaps shoving your father back off of the steps.

“Your Grace, what a pleasure. I heard you were attending another wedding with the princess.”

“This lie again?” Steve growls, “my love did you invite your father here?”

“N-no.”

“I didn’t think so.” Steve glares down at your father who seems surprised that this isn’t going his way. “What are you doing here Earl of Hydra?”

“I was only retrieving my daughter, since you’ve decided to wed another I will not have this whore remain in your castle.” You see Steve tense and you grab his arm. He doesn’t move from your grasp but he doesn’t relax either.

“You assume that all men are like you. I made an oath before God that I would love and protect my wife until the day we die. I mean to uphold that oath. I don’t like that you waited until she was alone to try and pull this shit again. I know what you are Alexander and should you return to Brooklyn I will not hesitate to defend my wife with my sword. Am I understood?”

“You dare speak to me like that?” Your father sneers, “I am the father of a princess!”

“Yes, Prince Lincoln and I have spoken about you. He is as unimpressed as I am.” Steve says coolly.

“How dare you.” Your father hisses and Steve laughs humorlessly.

“Do you forget your place Earl of Hydra? Now, you will apologize to the Duchess, bow and leave before I change my mind. And next time the desire to keep violence from my wife will not stop me from removing your head from your body with my sword. Am I understood?” His voice is cold as is the stare he levels your father with.

“I apologize your Grace.” Your father says with a stiff bow, “Hammer!” The two men leave and once the door is closed Steve turns to you.

“Are you alright?”

Tag list:

@andahugaroundtheneck @connie326 @also-fangirlinsweden @lumar014 @loving-life-my-way @pagina16ps @emdying @dumblani @valsworldofcreativity @dancer3205

#steve rogers #captain america #steve rogers x reader #imagine steve rogers #captain america x reader #imagine steve rogers x reader #steve rogers imagine #knight!captain america x reader #knight!steve rogers x reader au #knight!captain america #knight!steve rogers #steve rogers x reader au #knight!au #knight story

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papa-rhys · 4 years ago

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Thoughts on Jack and His Borderline Personality Disorder and How It Shows Through His Behaviour - Because I Cannot Stop Analysing Things That Ultimately Aren’t Important

Symptoms/behaviours under the cut because holy hell this guy has a lot of them. Like, honey, are you okay?

Okay, so I’m pretty sure I can trace Jack’s BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder) back to his grandmother. His mum abandoned him, which shows a reckless/irresponsible behaviour and her mum had fits of rage that didn’t correlate at all with the trigger (ie; drowning Jack’s cat because he didn’t make his bed). So I think he has a family history of it, with both his mother and grandmother having BPD and passing it down to him.

Either way, Jack definitely has it. In fact, he’s a textbook case of it.

Impulsivity

Spending sprees: he bought a pony made of diamonds because he was bored and throws money at all kinds of ventures to keep him occupied and because he wants to. I really don’t know how else to describe this one lol. He bought a pony. Made of diamonds. Because he could.

Gambling: won some of the things on his trophy shelf through poker and owns an entire casino. Hunting the Vaults themselves were a huge gamble too, especially the first two, since he wasn’t truly sure that they existed. He was prepared to sacrifice a lot in order to come out on top in both his career and his social standing. All in all, he’s reckless.

Binge eating: he doesn’t even like pretzels, but still eats them because he’s either bored or stressed. Talks about food quite a bit in conversation, too, especially his cravings.

Substance abuse: admits to being high on uppers for the duration of the pre sequel (and his time on Elpis as a whole) and tells further anecdotes about drugs and getting high in tftbl.

Promiscuity/unsafe sex: nothing about having sex with Nisha is safe lol. But in all seriousness, there’s no way to prove this one. He does strike me as the reckless sex sort though. No proof, just 7 years of knowing him as a character.

Emotional instability

Inappropriate trigger response: he strangles a man to death for simply mentioning his wife, stabs Lilith for talking about Angel, and tries to kill Rhys for not being sure about his grand plan (more on this later). His response to triggers is disproportionate, often resulting in extreme anger over small things that don’t warrant that intense of a reaction. He gets big angry about almost everything; there’s no middle ground. His reaction is never really “you’re annoying me a lot” or “don’t talk about that, I don’t like it.” His reaction to almost everything is “oh my god I will murder your first born child how dare you-”

Quickly changing mood: aside from being prone to fits of rage at the flick of a switch, Jack also flicks back to “normal” pretty quickly, too. He flips between telling you to kill yourself after surviving the train and then talks casually about his day. He’ll be filled with rage after Angel’s death and then suddenly he’s laughing about you jumping into lava and having fun tricking you into visiting his grandmother. He can be intensely angry or sorrowful one moment and then nonchalant and sociable the next. His moods don’t last very long.

Idolisation/devaluation

Jack does this with numerous people across the games, but the two shining examples are Moxxi and Rhys; Rhys being the most notable. He idolises Moxxi, complimenting her on how attractive she is and how smart she is and including her in his circle of close friends/teammates. Then the inevitable happens and she lets him down and he instantly changes his opinion on her as if he’d never thought she was good to begin with. The same happens with Rhys. Throughout tftbl, Jack is best friends with Rhys and seems to form a one-sided connection with him where he idolises him and thinks they’re going to be best friends for ever and that they’re the perfect team. You cannot make him mad at you in tftbl (trust me, I’ve tried). He’s encouraging to Rhys the whole way through, like they’re brothers. Then the second Rhys displays doubts about something Jack is passionate about, Jack reacts violently and completely devalues Rhys, claiming him to be his mortal enemy and trying to kill him. People with BPD do this often. They have strong convictions and have a tendency to feel betrayed by people who go against those convictions. Jack does this regularly and it leads to the breakup of a lot of his relationships.

Paranoia

He vented a room full of scientists into space, just in case. I mean, that pretty much sums it up, really. Jack is under a lot of stress at this point in the game and stress-induced paranoia is a particularly difficult symptom of BPD. With him already feeling the pressure, the mention of a possible mole is a huge trigger for Jack. Especially since he’s reeling from the recent betrayal from a friend. His brain is already working over time, planting uneasy feelings of distrust and being unsafe. So when he’s presented with the idea from an outside source, he runs with it. Betrayal goes on to become a big button to push in Jack’s life to the extent that he actively betrays people before they get a chance to betray him (ie; killing Wilhelm). Paranoia feeds into a lot of Jack’s bad decisions, particularly in the pre sequel era.

Delusion

Jack wasn’t lying when he told us that he’s the hero. He absolutely was not the hero at all, but he wasn’t lying about it. Because lying about something implies that you know it’s not true, and Jack genuinely believes he’s a good person. The best person, in fact. It’s not a lie because in his mind, it’s the god given truth. He’s massively delusional, even before the events of the pre sequel. He’ll spout all the cheesy 80s movie lines about saving the moon and being the hero and he thinks he’s the protagonist of his own big adventure. We know that’s not what’s happening, but Jack doesn’t see it that way. Another delusion is the idea he has about how much everyone loves him. He thinks Moxxi is obsessed with him and he thinks Angel is being forced to work against him. He cannot conceive of a world in which people don’t like him or agree with him. Because why wouldn’t they agree with him? He’s the hero. Everybody loves the hero...

Intense but unstable relationships

Moxxi, Angel, Lilith, the Vault Hunter; I could go on. Jack’s relationships with people are volatile and rocky, even when they’re seemingly on the same side like with Moxxi or even Nisha (who he forms a tight bond with very quickly). People with BPD feel all emotions intensely, which causes a roller coaster. Jack really likes Moxxi, but then he doesn’t want to talk to her, but then he wants her on the team, but then he gets mad at her for calling him a pet name and beign friendly, and then he’s telling her she’s sexy, and then he’s cursing her, and then he’s hanging pictures of her in his casino. It’s the same with Angel - he subjects her to physical torture, then he loves her, then he’s mad at her for helping the Vault Hunter, then he’s doting on her, then he’s manipulating her, then he’s grieving for her. Everything is a whirlwind.

Distorted self-image

Oh boy. Jack has this physically and mentally. Mentally in the sense that he thinks he’s a good person when he actions are abhorrent and also because he’s massively insecure. BPD often comes with a lack of identity, which causes insecurity to begin with. Throw that in a pot alongside some childhood abuse, betrayal, work place bullying, and grief, and you got yourself a big pot of insecurity soup. Put plainly, Jack doesn’t really know who he is at his baseline. His personality and interests and ideas and needs all change on an hourly basis. He morphs to suit his circumstances. He can be open, honest and down to earth when he’s trying to trick Rhys. He can be full of worry and desperation when he needs you to head to grandma’s house. He can be cunning and clever when he’s tricking you into killing Wilhelm. He can be fatherly, he can be nasty, he can be torturous, he can be laid back, he can be clever, he can be ignorant, he can be sheepish, he can be cocky. He’s everyone and no one all at once and this probably leaves him feeling very hollow and empty; which is another symptom of BPD. In the physical sense, Jack issues with self image are pretty clear. He wears a face over his face to hide his face. Yup. And he does this because he thinks he’s disgracefully ugly. This scar he’s so vehemently protective of is something that defines his whole persona going forward. He literally claims himself as Handsome Jack, forcing people to adhere to the idea that he’s so attractive that it should be his title. Even though he doesn’t feel that way and does everything he can to hide the real him. He thinks he’s hideous and he struggles between loving himself and hating himself because of it.

Fear of abandonment

Aaaand here we are at the crux of the problem. BPD boils down to the intense fear of abandonment and this is probably what guides Jack for most of his life. His father died, his mother literally abandoned him, his grandmother neglected him, his first wife died, second wife left, girlfriend and friends betrayed him, and daughter killed herself to get away from him. Abandonment is practically coded into Jack’s DNA at this point and every time it happens, it confirms his fears more. He clings to Moxxi after she betrays him - taking her ideas to try and rile her up and even going as far as to recreate her entire bar in his casino because he wants to keep her presence around. He fights tooth and claw against Angel’s rebellion, begging both her and you to stop what you’re doing and leave. The only time he begs you is when he’s facing perceived abandonment, that’s how strong the fear is. His final words to Angel are “I’ll still forgive you.” Jack isn’t a forgiving man by any stretch, but he’ll say anything he has to in order to prevent her from leaving him. He’ll stalk people, he’ll manipulate them, he’ll lie to them or keep them physically locked up - all to prevent them from abandoning him. The worst possible thing that could happen to Jack is that, and we see the spiral he slips into after Angel. After Moxxi. After the Meriff. After his wife. He can’t bare the thought of someone leaving him and he’ll do anything and everything to prevent his fears becoming a reality.

So yeah! There it is, I finally got around to posting it lol. There’s probably a lot more little details that I’ve forgotten, but I cannot think of them right now. I’ll probably update if I think of any more! The tl;dr is that almost all of Jack’s behaviour can be linked to massively untreated BPD. He needed meds and therapy, but he didn’t get them and he spiralled as a result.

#handsome jack #borderlands #borderlands 2 #borderlands the pre sequel #bl headcanons

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fangirlwriting-stories · 3 years ago

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A Kind Of Understanding

Summary: Remus' decision to babysit a kid for a couple nights to earn some extra cash ends up getting him in over his head when the kid tells him something the parents didn't mention.

In all fairness, Roman had told him he was probably getting in over his head. Remus was the idiot who didn’t believe him.

He just needed money. If he was actually going to be able to afford all the spray paints he wanted for his new art project by the roller rink, he was going to need a lot more money than he had. Curse him and his ambitious ideas.

Remus considered himself lucky when he quickly found a family willing to pay 60 bucks a night to watch their eight year old kid. Roman took one look at the offer and said he was definitely going to be dealing with a brat.

“Why else would they pay so much?” he asked, giving the flyer a suspicious look.

“So? I need, like, two hundred bucks to get the kind and amount of spray paint I need. I’d only have to watch the bratty kid for four nights and I’d be good. I can set her up in front of a movie she really likes, make her some mac and cheese for dinner, and it’ll be all good.”

“I think you’re underestimating kids, Re. You have met Patton and Logan, right?”

Patton and Logan were Virgil’s little brothers, and Remus honestly wasn’t sure why he was bringing them up, because they were both absolute sweethearts. Sure, Logan could sometimes get a chip on his shoulder about being too old for a babysitter, and Patton could be a bit of a crybaby sometimes, but otherwise Remus never minded when Virgil brought his friends along for a hangout. Especially when Patton teased Roman about liking Virgil, and Remus got to watch him go bright red with embarrassment.

Well okay, granted, Logan had been much more insufferable when he was Patton’s age. But Patton was still a sweetheart.

“I’m telling you, I’ve got this,” he said, waving Roman’s concerns off. “It’s just one little girl, anyway. How hard could it be?”

This was the attitude Remus took with him when going to the Ekans house the following night. The parents sent him the address, and the mom was waiting outside.

“Hi, Mrs. Ekans,” Remus said, putting on his ‘I am talking to an adult that I respect’ voice. “I’m Remus.”

“Yes, hello dear,” she said. “I was so happy to get your call. It can be rather hard to find a babysitter to deal with Janice, what with how she can get with all her silly fantasies.”

Remus tipped his head in confusion. “Silly fantasies?”

“Oh, I’m sure she’ll tell you all about it. You don’t need to indulge her, dear, we’ve told her many times that no one who watches her will be doing so. But anyway, here’s ten dollars for a tip, we ordered a pizza, the delivery man should be here any minute, so you won’t have to worry about dinner.”

“Thanks,” Remus said, taking the money and putting it in his pocket to grab when the delivery person showed up.

The door opened behind the two of them and a man came out, adjusting a tie. Behind him, a girl in a sparkly pink dress stood in the doorway, who could only be Janice.

“Oh, good,” the man said when he noticed Remus. “Janice, your babysitter’s here, be good for him, okay?” He turned to Remus. “Bedtime is at 8, pizza’s on the way, otherwise you should be good to go.”

“Thanks,” Remus said again, heading past him and into the house. They both waved at Janice as they left, who notably did not wave back.

As soon as the car drove off, Remus shut the door and turned to face Janice. “Well, sweetheart—” he started.

“First of all,” Janice snapped, sounding so furious that it took Remus aback. He had barely even said anything yet. “I have rules.”

Remus raised an eyebrow. “Isn’t that kind of my job?”

“No!” Janice screamed, stamping her foot. “You are here for me, that means I’m the boss! First of all, don’t ever call me sweetheart. And I am going into my room to change into my real clothes, and you aren’t going to stop me!”

Remus’ brow furrowed. “What’s wrong with the clothes you have on now?” he asked.

“Dresses are for girls,” Janice snapped, voice filled with way more vitriol than Remus expected. “I’m a boy. And you are not going to take away the only chance I get to wear my real clothes!” And, like that decided that, he turned and stormed away towards the back of the house and where his room no doubt was.

Remus looked after the kid, blinking for a second as he tried to process everything that had just happened. So that’s what Mrs. Ekans meant by silly fantasies.

Well, fuck, he was way out of his depth with shit like this.

The kid came out of the hallway a couple minutes later wearing a t-shirt and shorts. And while the t-shirt was still bright pink, he at least looked a little more comfortable than he had in a dress.

“Okay, J— kid,” Remus said. “So let me see if I’ve got this right. You say you’re a boy?”

“Yes,” the kid snapped. “And you don’t get to say otherwise, you got it?”

“Hey, understood,” Remus said, holding his hands up. “Can I just ask a question?”

The kid narrowed his eyes and crossed his arms. “What?”

“Do you want me to still use the name your parents gave me, or do you want me to call you something else?”

The kid seemed to grow even more suspicious at that question. “Mom didn’t tell you not to indulge my silly fantasies?”

“Doesn’t seem to me like there’s anything silly about it,” Remus said with a shrug. “I was just wondering if you had a different name picked out.”

The kid’s eyes widened slightly, though not enough to stop looking suspicious. “You can do that?”

“Of course you can,” Remus said, taking a couple steps forward and kneeling down in front of the kid. “I have a friend named Virgil who changed his name. He used to be called Jacob, but he hated that name. He thought it was boring.”

“He was right,” the kid said instantly. Remus laughed.

The kid seemed to think for a minute. “I don’t know,” he said finally. “I didn’t know you could do that.”

“Do you want me to use the name your parents gave me, then?”

“No,” the kid snapped instantly, looking angry again.

“Okay. Got it. For now, I’ll just call you kid. How’s that?”

The kid seemed to consider that for a minute, then nodded. “Okay.”

Remus smiled. “Okay. So your parents said that a pizza delivery person should be here soon. Do you want to watch a movie while we eat?”

“No,” the kid snapped. “Movies are stupid.”

Remus blinked. “Okay. What do you want to do while we eat?”

“I want to sit in silence and do nothing!” the kid snapped.

Remus blinked again. “Uh, I’m not so sure that would be very fun.”

“You’re not fun anyway!” the kid screamed.

Remus was honestly a little offended. How dare this child say he wasn’t fun? He could be super fun! Before he could reply to correct this wildly false statement, the doorbell rang.

Remus stood up and headed over to the door, and opened it to see, as expected, the pizza delivery person.

“Thanks,” Remus said, taking the pizza and pulling out the ten dollar bill Mrs. Ekans had left him. He handed it to the delivery person, who thanked him and headed back towards the car parked out front. Remus shut the door and carried the pizza over to the table, and the kid came over after him and grabbed one of the plates that had been left out on the counter.

“Give me two pieces,” he said, holding the plate out to Remus.

“Let’s start with one,” Remus said, taking the plate.

“No!” the kid snapped. “I want two!”

“Kid, I’m gonna start you with one,” Remus said, taking a piece of pizza and putting it on the plate.

“No!” the kid snapped again. “I want two pieces! I’m hungry, are you trying to tell me I shouldn’t eat until I’m full? That can have harmful consequences!”

Remus took a deep breath. “I am going to start you with one. If you want another piece after you finish that one, I will happily give you one.”

“I want two right now!” the kid screamed, stamping his foot.

Remus squeezed his eyes shut. “Nope,” he said, handing the kid the plate.

The kid narrowed his eyes, and Remus had a second to wonder if eight year olds still threw temper tantrums, when instead the kid shot Remus a glare that could kill and stomped into the other room and sat down on the couch.

Remus took a piece of pizza and put it on the plate. This was about as bad as it was going to get, right?

…

“Kid, you need to go to bed,” Remus said, leaning against the door frame, looking at the kid who was sitting resolutely and reading through a book.

“Why should I? Bedtime is a social construct.”

“Oh my god,” Remus groaned, looking up at the ceiling. This had been a recurring theme for most of the night. The kid’s father was apparently a philosophy nerd, and the kid listened in on a lot of his conversations about the subject with his wife, and had turned that into a belief that all of society was a construct and he could do whatever he wanted. He was brilliant for an eight year old. And it was as annoying as all fuck.

“Look,” Remus said. “If you go to bed now, next time I come, I’ll bring you a surprise.”

“What kind of surprise?” the kid asked, narrowing his eyes. “How could any surprise you give me be worth it?”

“Well, if you don’t go to bed now, you’ll never know,” Remus pointed out.

The kid seemed to know exactly what Remus was doing with that, but he also finally put the book aside and laid his head down on his pillow. Remus flicked off the lights and shut the door, and finally let out a breath.

He made his way back out to the living room, put the remaining pizza in the fridge, and then collapsed on the couch.

“Children are exhausting,” he said to no one.

By the time the kid’s parents got back Remus was ready to go home and sleep for a week and a half. But that was a feeling that faded as soon as Mr. Ekans walked through the door and opened his mouth.

“How was she?” he asked, putting the car keys on a hook by the wall. “She didn’t give you too much trouble, did she?”

Remus had to fight to keep from grinding his teeth. “Fine,” he said, keeping his voice as pleasant as he could. “The flyer said I should come back Saturday next, right?”

“Yes,” Mrs. Ekans said, pulling out her wallet and thumbing out the sixty dollars in cash. She handed it over, and Remus took it. “I’m glad things went well. Janice has been known to drive away a few sitters in the past.”

I can’t imagine why.

Remus got out of the house as quickly as he could. He had some thinking to do, and he wasn’t going to do it in front of a couple of transphobic pieces of shit.

…

By the time Saturday arrived Remus had a battle plan. Roman had been amused when Remus had described the first night as “frustrating,” but had been surprised when Remus had been determined to go back. Remus left out most of the details that weren’t his to share, though he imagined Roman must have figured something was up when he spent most of the week researching boy names and hairstyles.

When he got to the Ekans house next time, the kid looked surprised to see him, and Remus couldn’t say he blamed him. He tried to smile and nod whenever possible, as hopefully it would get the kid’s parents out the door faster. The second they left Remus took off the backpack he’d brought and moved over to sit on the couch. “Hey, kid, c’mere.”

“No. Why?”

“I’ve got something for ya. I promised you a surprise if you went to bed, didn’t I?”

“Yeah, but I turned the lamp on again as soon as you left the room.”

Remus sighed. “Of course you did. Come here anyway.”

The kid looked curious, and given that it was one of the few times he hadn’t been glaring at him, Remus would take it as a good sign.

“So I did some research these past couple days,” Remus said, starting with the notebook. “And I found some names you might like.”

“Wait, what?” the kid sat on the couch and took the notebook from him. “What do you mean you looked at names for me?”

“Well, you said you didn’t know what you wanted your name to be. I don’t really want to call you ‘kid’ forever. If you don’t like any of these we can keep looking, though.”

The kid turned and stared at him. “But I was mean to you.”

“You’re the kid I’m babysitting,” Remus said, smirking at him. “I think I can take it. Besides, what does that have to do with your name?”

“Why are you being nice to me if I was mean to you?”

“Being nice and basic human decency are two different things. You can be the snottiest kid in the world, that doesn’t mean I’m going to start treating you like a girl.”

The kid’s eyes widened. “Really?”

“Really. You say you’re a boy, I believe you, and I’ll treat you as such, okay?”

To Remus’ surprise, the kid’s eyes welled up with tears.

“Oh shit, don’t cry. Hang on—”

The kid threw himself at Remus’ and buried his head in his side. Remus awkwardly patted him on the back and waited until the kid stopped crying, after which he pulled back and wiped at his eyes, still sniffling. “Mommy always says I shouldn’t make people indulge me,” he whispered.

“I’m not indulging anything,” Remus said. “This is what you said you want, and it should be respected. If you change your mind later, that’s fine too. But even if you do, I’m not going to treat you in any way that makes you miserable in the meantime.”

The kid sniffed again and wiped at his eyes. He looked like he didn’t know what to say, which was fair.

After a moment, he picked up the notebook and started looking at the names, sometimes pointing at one he didn’t know and asking Remus to read it. He stopped at one on page three.

“You just wrote Janice,” he said. “I thought you said I didn’t have to use that name.”

“J-a-n-u-s is a masculine spelling,” Remus said. “I just figured if you liked the way your name sounded but didn’t like that it was associated with being a girl, that was an option.”

The kid looked at it for a while longer. “You could use this one around my parents,” he said.

“Technically, yes,” Remus said.

The kid turned and looked at him. “Where does Janus come from?”

“It’s the name of a Roman god,” Remus said. “He’s the god of doors, gates, and beginnings. He has two faces.”

The kid started to grin. “I could be named after a god?”

“If that’s what you want.”

He started nodding. “I like that. I like that a lot. And it could be like lying to my parents. They’re forcing me to lie to everyone else, but this way I get to lie to them.”

Remus started to smile too. “Yeah? You think that’s the one?”

“Definitely. And besides, if I don’t like later it I can change it again, right?”

“Of course you can.”

Janus beamed at him. “Yeah. That’s the one.”

“Awesome,” Remus said, leaning over and ruffling his hair. “Now, onto the second manner of business.”

“There’s more?”

“Yep.” Remus reached into his bag and pulled out a hairbrush and ponytail holders. “So I’m not going to cut your hair without your parent’s permission or I’d get fired. But I have a couple ways I can deal with your hair as it is right now if you want to.”

Janus nodded quickly, and turned around so Remus could get to his hair more easily, “So we could put it up in a bun so it’s out of your face, or I could move the curls further behind your head so it looks more like a style than just you having longer curly hair.”

“What would a style look like?” Janus asked.

“Alright, give me a sec,” Remus said. He grabbed the bobby pins he’d borrowed from his mother and used them to tuck Janus’ curls further behind his head. He turned Janus around after a moment and brushed some of the curls across his forehead so they looked more like bangs.

“Alright,” he said, sitting back. “Here, check that out.” He pulled out the mirror he brought with him, and handed it to Janus.

His eyes widened as he looked in it. “Woah. You did this with my hair?”

“Mm-hmm,” Remus said. “You like it?”

Janus grinned at him again and nodded. Then his gaze turned curious. “Why are you doing all this?”

“I already told you—”

“No, I mean… Mommy says boys and girls can’t change who they are. She says I’m a girl no matter what I do.”

“Bah,” Remus said, waving the concept away. “Gender is a social construct.”

Janus snorted.

“You laugh, but it’s true. Have you ever heard the term ‘transgender’ before?”

Janus shook his head.

“It’s a term people can use to describe themselves when their gender doesn’t match the one they were born as. Plenty of people describe themselves that way. I’m friends with a couple on the internet.”

Janus looked fascinated, and almost painfully hopeful. “Not just me?”

“Definitely not just you.”

Janus sat back, seeming to take a minute to process that. “Can you show me?” he asked, looking back up at Remus.

And so they spent most of the day on Remus’ phone looking at transgender people and stories and definitions. Remus made sure to steer clear of any discourse or transphobia. Janus had enough to deal with already without having to learn about that on a broad scale yet.

By the time Janus’ parents texted Remus saying they were on their way back, they’d been there for hours.

“Okay,” Remus said, setting the phone aside. “I should probably take your hair down now.”

Janus sighed, even though he seemed to have expected that. “Okay,” he mumbled.

“We can put it back up next time I come, okay?” Remus said.

Janus nodded. “Yeah, we fucking better.”

Remus coughed in surprise. “Wha— where did you learn that word?”

Janus grinned at him. “You’ll never fucking know.”

Remus laughed despite himself. Okay, so maybe this kid wasn’t so terrible.

…

Things went smoother for the last two times Remus had signed up to babysit him. Janus had so obviously needed some kind of positive role model, because the second Remus reassured him that he believed him and would treat him as a boy, Janus got loads easier to handle. At the end of the third time Remus babysat for him, Janus looking at him very seriously and told him that he was clearly one of those rare smart adults.

“Well, technically I’m a teenager,” Remus admitted.

Janus nodded. “Oh. That explains it.”

Remus blinked at him. Well, this kid was definitely going to turn into even more of a nightmare as he got older.

Roman seemed more than a little surprised that Remus hit it off with the kid so well, and when Remus eventually mentioned it to Virgil, he got the same result. But Remus would just shrug and say something generic along the lines of “We just clicked, I guess.”

He found himself actually looking forward to the last time he was supposed to babysit, which unfortunately came with a realization that this would be the last time he babysat for Janus. The time passed much too quickly, and Remus, at the end of the night, was not looking forward to leaving.

So for once, an interaction from Janus’ parents brought a positive consequence.

“You just make Janice so happy,” Mrs. Ekans said. “And that’s not really something that happens with her very often.”

I can’t imagine why.

“I know this wasn’t supposed to be a long term thing, but if you would be willing to become her regular babysitter, we’ll pay you eighty a night instead of sixty.”

Well, Remus probably would have agreed even without the pay raise, especially after he noticed Janus watching hopefully from the hallway, but the extra twenty a night didn’t hurt either. In the end, after what was basically the opposite of a long and hard decision, Remus agreed, and was now going to spend his Saturdays (and many week nights) watching a kid that he was quickly growing to care for.

Janus plopped himself down on the couch next to Remus a second after he showed up next time, with his lip wobbling and sniffling in a way that immediately made Remus nervous.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” he asked.

“Do you only like me because my parents pay you?” Janus asked.

“What? Of course not, I love hanging out with you,” Remus said, relieved he was actually telling the truth.

Janus brightened immediately. “Cool! So if we’re actually friends does that mean you can take me out for ice cream?”

Remus blinked at him for a couple seconds, trying to figure out how in the hell he just got played by an eight year old. Regardless, they ended up at an ice cream parlor that day.

There came times Virgil had to watch his little brothers too, and Virgil must have told them about Janus, because one day Virgil texted him asking if they could maybe set up a playdate with the little girl he babysat. Remus winced, but said he’d bring it up next time he was there.

“Their names are Patton and Logan,” he said to Janus, who was looking up at him over the the drawing he was making. He’d become insistent on drawing better than Remus ever since he’d shown him one of his pieces. “They’re Virgil’s little brothers. They want to meet you.”

Janus bit his lip. “Do I have to pretend to be a girl around them?”

“Kid, that is entirely up to you,” Remus said. “I haven’t told them yet because you haven’t given me permission. I can tell you they won’t mind, if you’re worried about that.”

Janus gave that a moment of thought. “Okay. You can tell them I’m a boy. If you’re really sure they won’t mind.”

“I’m sure.”

Janus nodded. “Okay. Can they not come here though?”

“I don’t think we picked a place to go yet. But we could go to a park, or possibly Virgil's house. We’d have to run it by everyone’s parents.”

“Ugh. Well that’s not gonna work out then,” Janus said, turning back to his drawing. “My parents never want me to do anything that makes me happy.”

Remus felt his heart crack at that. He didn’t know how to explain to the kid the difference between his parents being transphobic and his parents never wanting him to be happy. He supposed the end result was the same either way. But Remus couldn’t imagine them having an issue with Janus meeting some other kids. He was apparently pretty lonely.

“Give it a chance,” he said eventually. “They could surprise you.”

Janus gave him a look of such doubt that Remus considered, not for the first time, murdering Janus’ parents and hiding their transphobic asses out in the shed.

Luckily, Remus was at least right in Janus’ parents wanting him to meet new kids. And he was of course also right about none of his friends having a problem with Janus being trans, although they seemed sad for the kid when they learned what his parents were like. Good. Remus would have lost respect for them if they didn’t.

They ended up meeting over at Virgil’s house, which was good, because Remus had a sneaking suspicion Janus’ parents would not have approved of Patton, and his love for all things pink and/or sparkly. They walked through the front door and saw Virgil and Roman sitting on the couch chatting as Logan was doing a puzzle nearby. Patton was sitting next to him, coloring in a coloring book and wearing a bright pink sparkly dress similar to the one Remus had met Janus in. Janus’ eyes got really big when he saw Patton, and he hid behind Remus’ leg.

“I thought you said Patton was a boy,” he whispered.

“He is,” Remus replied. “Patton likes wearing pink sparkly dresses, but that doesn’t make him any less of a boy.”

Virgil glanced up and waved. “Hey, Remus. Guys, Remus and Janus are here.”

Patton and Logan both glanced up, and then Patton hopped up and ran across the room. “Hi!” he said, sticking out his hand. “I’m Patton! Virgil says you’re eight just like me!”

Janus slowly stepped out from behind Remus’ leg and shook Patton’s hand. “Hi,” he said. “I’m Janus. J-a-n-u-s. It’s the boy spelling. Because I’m a boy.”

Patton grinned at him. “Yeah, Remus told us! I think that’s really cool! Do you want to come color with me?”

It was clear Janus didn’t know quite what to do with that, but he nodded anyway, and Patton took his hand and dragged him over to where he’d been coloring. Remus noted Logan saying hi as he did so, and including a note about how he was ten and too old for a babysitter. Remus walked over to sit on the couch next to Virgil and Roman.

“That went about like I’d expected,” he said, nodding at Patton.

Virgil snorted. “Yeah, pretty much,” he agreed, leaning back and ending up partly against Roman. Remus would have to tease him about how bright red his face got later.

Overall, the afternoon was a success. Janus and Patton got along very well, and they made a deal that next time, Janus would bring a sparkly dress and trade it for some of Patton’s more boyish clothes. Janus talked the whole drive home about how much he liked Patton.

“Even though he could be a little less bouncy,” Janus said. “He’s kind of a lot.”

“I get that,” Remus said. “Patton is a really excitable kid. He’ll mellow out the longer you know him.”

Janus nodded. “Good,” he said, and Remus laughed.

Just like Remus had expected, Janus’ parents were glad to see him happy from hanging out with other kids. Which unfortunately also meant they likely had no idea what had actually been happening at the playdate. It was definitely worth it, though. Janus gave Remus a hug, a beaming smile, and said he would see him on Saturday, before running off to his room still smiling.

Remus texted Virgil that they would have to do so again sometime soon.

…

Remus arrived on time Saturday, but Mr. and Mrs. Ekans were already rushing out the door, barely having time to hand Remus money for dinner, and saying something about getting something to cheer Janus up before they ran out their car and drove off.

Remus blinked as he watched them drive off, before processing the fact that they’d said something about cheering Janus up. He headed inside, looking around and hoping to find him.

“Janus?” he called, but no one responded. He started looking around the living room and found no one, there wasn’t anyone in the kitchen, not even the cabinets, and Remus checked in all their usual hide and seek places, but didn’t find anything.

“Janus?” he called, sticking his head into his room. There still wasn’t anyone obviously in there, but just as Remus was about to leave he heard sniffing that sounded like it was coming from under the bed.

He shut the door quietly behind him and pulled up the blankets, and there was Janus, curled into a ball.

“Kiddo?” he asked quietly.

“Adults are stupid,” Janus said. “They don’t understand anything.”

“As a seventeen year old I wholeheartedly agree,” Remus said, trying to get a chuckle or a smile, but not succeeding. “Are we talking about something specific?”

“They just don’t understand,” Janus said, tucking his head into his knees. “No matter how many times I explain it to them they don’t get it. I don’t want to be a girl, Remus. I mean, am I just explaining it wrong? If I explain it enough times they have to understand, right?” He sniffed. “I just have to explain it a few more times, right?”

“Oh, kiddo,” Remus murmured, reaching a hand under the bed. Janus grabbed it and let Remus help him out before burying his head in his chest.

“I thought they were supposed to love me,” Janus whispered. “Isn’t that what parents are supposed to do?”

“They do love you,” Remus tried to reassure, because he’d seen some proof of that. He’d seen the way they smiled when they saw Janus happy. They’d thanked him so many times, saying they were unsure of how he did it.

“No. They love J-a-n-i-c-e. They love the little girl they think they have. But that’s not who I am.” Janus looked up at him, tears pouring down his face. “Remus, why do they hate who I am?”

Remus didn’t have any good reply to that. He just gently pulled Janus back to his chest and rubbed his back. He wasn’t surprised when that just made Janus cry harder, but he didn’t know what else to do.

Janus pulled back and looked up at him after a second. “Remus?”

“Yeah?”

“Would you still like me if I was a girl?”

Remus had no idea what that question entailed. He nodded.

“And you like me even though I’m not?”

“Of course I do.”

“What if—” Janus sniffed. “What if I end up liking boys too or something? That would be even harder to explain.”

“I like boys,” Remus said instantly.

Janus sniffed again. “You do?”

Remus nodded. “Kid, you know what my mom said when I asked her about this stuff?”

“What?”

“She said love should never be conditional.”

“What does conditional mean?”

“It means, Janus,” Remus said, shifting so Janus could sit more comfortably on his lap. “That you could be trans, cis, gay, straight, a weird half snake man who wears a really stupid hat—”

Janus finally laughed a little at that.

“And if you ask me that question, the answer will always be ‘I love you,’ over and over.”

Janus blinked a couple times. “You mean you like me?”

“Nope. I mean I love you, kid. No matter what.”

Janus’ eyes got big, and tears welled up in them again. “Over and over?”

“Over and over,” Remus agreed.

Janus sniffed again, and leaned his head into Remus’ chest again. Remus wrapped his arms around him. “I am so sorry your parents can’t see what an amazing kid you are just as you are,” he murmured.

“Yeah,” Janus said. “They just don’t understand. They’re stupid adults. Adults don’t understand anything.”

Remus held Janus tighter. “Yeah,” he agreed. “Adults don’t understand anything.”

…

Over the next couple months, Janus and Patton ended up trading half their wardrobe. Janus often had a monster truck or dinosaur shirt on within ten minutes of Remus coming over, though he would admit to Remus that those weren’t really his favorite. He said he liked the one with the cartoon snake on it. Remus spent the day going over shirts with more realistic snakes on them that Janus liked. In the end they purchased a couple that Remus said he would keep at his house for days that Janus came over there.

They also spent quite a few days at the park with Patton and Logan, sometimes with Virgil, sometimes with Virgil’s mom or dad. They felt bad about Janus’ situation too, and Remus could tell they wished they could be doing more. But Janus wasn’t being abused or neglected, and transphobic parents weren’t a legal reason that someone could be removed from a home. Remus was really doing about all he could for him. At least it seemed to be making Janus happier than he was. Sometimes, Janus told Remus everything he would do once he was too old for his parents to stop him. Fifteen, he said. When he was fifteen he would get a haircut. And Remus would come, right?

Remus would consider for a moment that he’d probably be in college at that point, but he couldn’t imagine leaving this kid to deal with his parents alone, no matter how old they both got, so the conversation always ended with Remus promising that he’d be there when Janus got his first real haircut at fifteen.

There were, of course, things to teach Janus about how to rebel against all of society, though the kid already had an excellent head start with all the philosophy he knew. Remus took him spray painting one time, and Janus sprayed all of curse words he knew on the wall. Remus couldn’t be prouder. They’d shoplifted together a couple times too. Remus made sure Janus understood that you couldn’t shoplift from a small business that would actually get hurt by it. Only big chains like Walmart. And no stealing in a way that would hurt the employees. Janus seemed to accept all of this easily. “It’s about eating the rich,” he said, nodding firmly. “Not hurting people who are already struggling.”

“You’ve got it,” Remus said with a proud smile.

But one of his favorite parts of being with Janus, after he spent one time at the park with Roman and Virgil, was how easily the kid picked up on how in love the two were.

“We have to do something about it,” Janus insisted. “They’re wasting time! They don’t have mean parents to worry about, why are they wasting time being scared?”

“I ask them that question all the damn time,” Remus said with a smirk.

“Okay,” Janus said, biting his lip as he started thinking. “We’re gonna come up with a plan.”

“Oh, are we? What are we doing?”

“I don’t know yet. Come help me.”

They spent the rest of that afternoon coming up with their plan, and planned to enact it that Saturday. They ended up at the ice cream parlor along with Patton and Logan, who were also in on the plan. Janus was there with Roman and Remus, and Patton and Logan were there with Virgil. The two in question were not aware that the other group was there. So, after a couple minutes, Janus loudly remarked to Roman that Patton was there, and could they go say hi.

“You know,” Janus said before Roman could reply. “I’m going to marry Patton one day.”

Roman smiled, his heart no doubt melting in the same way that Remus’ had when Janus had first told him this. “Are you?” Roman asked, taking a bite of his ice cream.

Janus nodded. “And he can wear a wedding dress, because he likes wearing dresses, and I can wear the tuxedo because I don’t like dresses, and you and Virgil can be the best men because it would be cool to have another married couple as the best men.”

Roman started coughing, and Remus patted him casually on the back as he struggled to stop turning bright red. “What— Virgil and I aren’t married!” Roman exclaimed.

Janus gasped. “What? Why not? When are you going to propose?”

“I— Janus, we’re not dating,” Roman said, turning more into a tomato by the second.

“What?” Janus said, sounding for all the life of him like he was heartbroken. “You have to ask him out then!”

“Janus—”

“Roman, it could mess up Patton and I’s whole wedding! You’re gonna mess up our wedding?” His lip wobbled in a way Remus could tell was fake three months ago, but Roman was clearly not there yet.

“I— look, kiddo, I do like Virgil, but—”

“Then go on! Time’s ticking, you have to get married before Patton and I do!” Janus called, jumping up and pulling Roman up out of his chair. “Go on, go on, go on!”

Roman was left with not much of a choice at that point, and he headed over towards the booth across the parlor, where an equally red-faced Virgil had appeared to have been having a similar conversation. Remus and Janus both followed him over. There was no way they were missing this.

Virgil stood up quickly when Roman got there, and they both started stammering something that was barely coherent, but in the end, Roman managed to get out something about dinner on Friday, and Virgil managed to nod.

All of the kids, and Remus cause what the hell, started to cheer.

“Look at that, we finally got your heads out of your asses!” Remus called, slapping Roman on the back, who smacked him on the arm right back.

“You all planned this, didn’t you?” Virgil asked, looking too embarrassed to be angry, though Remus had no doubt that would come later.

“Maybe,” Remus said, sliding into the booth after Janus, who was now sitting next to Patton.

“We correctly deduced you would never do anything yourselves,” Logan said with a smile from Patton's other side.

“Janus and I are still getting married one day though,” Patton said, completely seriously.

“Yes,” Janus said, nodding along. “And you two will be our best men.”

“Okay, slow down,” Roman said. “That’s taking things a little fast.”

“I think they figured they’d make up for all the time you two wasted,” Remus said with a grin.

“I’m going to kill you later,” Roman said.

“No, please, think of my children,” Remus said.

“What children?”

“Me!” Janus exclaimed, throwing his hands in the air. Remus laughed and pulled him to his side, giving him a noogie.

As the conversation started to head back into a normal direction, Janus nudged Remus in the side. Remus glanced over.

“Sorry I made the children joke,” Janus said quietly.

“Oh, don’t be sorry. It’s true is what it is,” Remus said, ruffling his hair again. “I have adopted you. You can never get rid of me.”

Janus started smiling. “Promise?”

“Promise,” Remus said. “You know why?”

“‘Cause you love me over and over?”

“Because I love you over and over,” Remus said, giving Janus a quick side hug. “You nailed it, my little man.”

“Little man,” Janus said quietly, though he was still smiling really big, and Remus smiled back. “Little man. Yeah.”

#sanders sides #remus sanders #janus sanders #trans janus #transphobia #misgendering #tw misgendering #deadnaming #tw deadnaming #babysitting

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juhaksworld · 3 years ago

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kevin as your husband lol

(what you’d be like as a couple)

You’d have that type of relationship that never got boring, and what I mean by that is, you’d never get to the point after even 15 years of marriage where you’d joke with others about how much you hated each other...no way! Y’all would still be like a dating couple after 20 years, flirting and getting shy around each other, occasionally checking each other out bc danggggg you couldn’t get over this awesome person you’re married to!!! But like, you’d know each other so well and have good communication, so you’d have all the fun of like newlyweds, but you’d have the strong sturdy relationship of an old married couple.

You’d also be the type of couple where you didn’t feel the need to share every detail with others, like you and kevin talked over everything together and figured things out together, there wasn’t any of that “oh my goodness can you believe what kevin did?” drama with your besties and the same goes for him. People would see you had an awesome relationship, but they wouldn’t know all of the behind the scenes which is how it should be!

And you never make others feel uncomfortable by having arguments in public, you stayed level headed and calm and talked through things once you were alone.

ok so,,, kevin as a husband----

- would hype the hell out of you for any and everything

- wouldn’t really buy you flowers unless it was a special occasion, but he would def be the type of husband that surprised you with little weekend trips or learned your favorite song on the piano and serenade you, or cook for you

- 10000% the type of husband to give you a quick kiss EVERY morning before work

- flirts with you all the time, no shame, doesn’t matter the reason, just loves making you blush hahaha

- loves it a ton if you run up and jump in his arms like,,, that’s his favorite thing after you’ve been apart for a while (long day of work or sumthin)

- if he was really tired after a long day of work or stressful day he’d just like come up to you and lean his head on you shoulder and sigh and then kiss your neck

- looooooooves talking with you, like good lord, you would be eating dinner and then realize you had been sitting there with empty plates talking and it was 9pm already

- wants kids. just ughhhhh wants so much to have kids with you someday! wants to have a family with you.

- every time you’re in public and there’s a baby or like a little kid he just *cute kevin noises* oh gosh-- they’re so cute!!!!!!! ahhhhhhhhh i love kids so much!!!!!

- you have to calm him down

- looks down at you lovingly making a facial expression that you know exactly what he means

- “we’re not having a child rn kevin. we have to at least wait until we get home and then another 9 months remember?”

- laughs a lot with you

- gets kinda protective over you, like not in a jealous way, just like “ :((( don’t you dare let some creep hit on you like that! slap him”

- you’d be like “I’m not slapping a stranger kev”

- and he’d be like “well you should if I’m not around to protect you!” *pouts*

- but like yeahhh you two are so in love with each other that even after being married for like 20 years he’d be convinced that every guy is out there trynna steal you away even though you’re like 45 and have 3 kids hahahahaha

- loves you to the moon and back -- literally turned you into a moon when you got married so there’s that haha -- Mrs. y/n Moon

- you’re his no.1 priority, like that’s never a problem in your relationship, he always puts you and your marriage first

- probably the type of husband to call you “his wife” as much as possible for like the first 10 years of your marriage lol

- after that he calls you by the special nickname he made just for you <3

#kevin moon #the boyz #the boyz fluff #the boyz imagines #the boyz fanfic #the boyz kevin #kevin moon fluff #kevin moon imagine #kevin moon fanfic #kevin moon ff #kevin #haknyeon's smile gives life

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pandoras-princess · 4 years ago

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Next Best Thing (Tommy Shelby x fem!reader, John Shelby x fem!reader)

*gif not mine//credit to the owner

A/N: Woop wooop! Helloooo my lovely peoples!! 🌸 yes I am wayyy overly excited because this part just came out so effortlessly so I am hyper af 💃💃 I am very happy to welcome you to part three, and while it may seem a little lacklustre, it’s the lead up to the final part which will be show stopping material and I hope you’ll agree 🤗 you have all been so nice and absolutely amazing about this fic and I appreciate it so much I can’t wait to bring you part four 🥰🥰🥰 but let me shut up and get to it. Happy Reading Peoples! 🥳🥳 as ever I appreciate every like, reblog and follow, feedback is always welcome 😌

P.S: Y/N/N = your nickname

Summary: Fantasies are shattered and dreams come true as Y/N navigates her way through this messy love triangle...

Pairing: (OOC) Tommy Shelby x fem!reader, John Shelby x fem!reader

Warnings: Violence, swearing, blood, alcohol

PART ONE PART TWO PART FOUR

━◦ ♡ ◦━◦ ♡ ◦━◦━◦ ♡ ◦━◦ ♡ ◦━

“What can I get ya?” You shout to the burly man on the other side of the bar.

“Two whiskeys and a pint of beer love!”

The buzz of the crowd continues to drown out your voice, which not only made your job unnecessarily hard, but also provided a little tune for the tiny men occupying your skull to hammer away to, so it turns out.

Little hairs lining your throat were long since singed and a dull ache seeps through the bones in your feet as you set about preparing the next round of drinks.

Quickly scanning the area to your left, a smile spreads across your face when you land on the pair of ice blue eyes you were after, his cheeky wink inspiring a new burst of energy in your overworked muscles.

That smile drops as quickly as it spreads; the once friendly and loving gaze of your best friend now replaced with a cold glare.

In the weeks that had followed your last encounter John hadn’t been near or by the house, and every time you had a shift at the Garrison he was conveniently held up elsewhere. It was the longest you’d ever gone without speaking to him and it was safe to say you couldn’t take much more.

One of these days you’d have your old Johnny back, you thought.

One of these days...

“Where’ve all the glasses gone?”

“Out there.”

Harry’s thumb jerks in the direction of the ever growing crowd, earning an all too familiar groan in response.

‘Get a job you said... it’ll be fun you said... it’s just pulling pints!’

You disappear into the sea of people grumbling to yourself, only managing to grab four empty pints before you begin to carve a route back. Your struggle - along with your mood - was only to be made worse as you near two men in the midst of an argument, the stench of beer and stale cigarettes rudely invading your senses.

“Excuse me!”

“What yerr shaying about me wife” the large man slurs, entirely oblivious to your presence behind him.

“Excuse me!”

Nothing.

“Excuse m-”

You watch, frozen in horror, as his fist connects with the second man’s jaw, sending the large brute hurtling into you.

Crashing to the ground, a pained scream tears from your throat.

Tommy - who was engrossed in a conversation with his two brothers - hadn’t witnessed you get hurt, but he definitely heard it.

He shoves his way through the crowd until he is met with your body hunched over, quietly whimpering as you attempt to dislodge shards of glass from your right palm. His eyes follow the steady stream of blood trickling down your arm and any facade he held about your relationship quickly fades away.

“You’ve hurt my girl.”

He rounds on the man responsible, nostrils flaring and lips snarling as he reaches for the deadly cap atop his head.

Despite being a good foot taller, the stranger shrinks away, vigorously shaking his head as he rushes to apologise.

“I’m so-sorry Tom real sorry. It- it was an accident I didn’t know she was y-yours ho-honest!”

“I suggest you leave.” Tommy spits out. “That goes for everyone. Leave, now!”

The once jolly punters trip over themselves to squeeze through the narrow doors. Within a matter of minutes the pub is empty and Tommy is crouched at your side inspecting the cuts.

John remains in his seat, jaw set and knuckles white, as Tommy scoops you up and disappears into the office.

He carefully lowers you onto the desk; a warm kiss lingering on your forehead as he’s tending to your injuries.

“You’re okay Princess” he mumbles wrapping a bandage around your hand. Whether he was reassuring you or himself you weren’t quite sure. But thoughts of any kind are banished from your mind as he draws you into a kiss.

His lips are chapped and salty as they move against yours. It was slow and it was sweet. It was the kind of kiss that called every hair to attention; the kind of kiss that replays in your mind as you drift to sleep.

Without warning Tommy is ripped away from you, an involuntary yelp slipping out at the sudden loss of contact. Brain scrambling to make sense of it all you soon zone in on John’s forearm tight against Tommy’s throat pinning him to the wall.

“You bastard! I warned you- I warned you to stay away from her! She’s not one of your little whores you can pick up and fuck off when you get bored. I fucking told you to stay away!”

“What do you mean, you warned him?”

The quietness that followed easily could’ve been passed off as nobody hearing your question. And it probably would’ve been, if you hadn’t seen the slight drop of John’s head.

It was physically impossible for him to ignore you; it always had been.

Tommy took this opportunity to push his younger brother away and the two men stood glaring daggers at each other, embroiled in an argument only they were privy to.

“Tommy, what’s he talking about?!” You ask your boyfriend, who was now unable to meet your eye.

Once again your question is met with silence.

“Will somebody bloody answer me!”

Your small hands ball into fists at your sides as you look between them.

John’s face softens when he finally looks at you, the confusion that passes over your delicate features serving to break his heart further.

The guilt that flashes in his eyes as he threads a hand through his hair adds to your impatience. “Well get on with it then!”

“He knew, Y/N/N, that you liked him. He knew because he read your diary. He already knew and he had it all planned out in his little fucking mind the minute you asked him for the job. Why’d ye think he said yes? I told him-” an accusatory finger points at Tom standing a few feet away “-you weren’t to be played with, and now look!”

You fail to register John lunging at Tom. You fail to register the scuffle that ensues as a result. You fail to register Polly screaming at the top of her lungs to separate the brawling idiots.

Piece by piece, memory by memory, your new found utopia crumbles between your fingers and you stand, completely oblivious to your surroundings, as everything clicks into place.

“You knew?” You whisper, inching towards Tommy.

He watches you shift from confusion to anger to disgust as the revelation sinks in, shredding through the trust he’d so effortlessly built. And he was utterly powerless to stop it.

“The whole time... you knew? When you came to me and- and asked me to... you knew?!”

His mouth opens, but the words escape him.

With a final shake of your head, your trembling figure retreats from the office; the following slam of the double doors eliciting a flinch from everyone.

The parilysis subsides, and he jams his finger into John’s chest. “You have no fucking idea.”

“Y/N wait.”

Your feet cry out and your muscles scream in protest as you storm down the cobbled road, Tommy hot on your heels. But with the searing pain in your hand creeping up your wrist, you push on, desperate to escape any person with Shelby as their last name.

“Y/N please I can explain!”

“You can explain? You can explain?!” Shrieking you finally give in to the blind rage that threatens to consume you.

“You can explain what exactly Thomas? You can explain how you violated every ounce of trust we’ve ever had? You can explain how you thought it’d be a good old laugh to have me convince the man I was hopelessly in love with to marry someone else?! You can explain how the past 7 months - everything between us - was one big lie! You don’t need to explain anything Tom, honest. It all seems pretty fucking clear to me.”

Tommy watches your hands wave and point and clap and throw themselves in the air as the anger pours out of your every word. See, it was a tough one for him really. On the one hand, he’d really fucked up and the least he could do was pay attention to the scolding he was rightfully due. On the other, you were so god-damned irresistible when you were angry it was driving him mad.

“God Tommy! I thought you were different! I actually thought you were fucking different. I thought you loved me, not as a lie, not out of fear, but honest true love. And that’s the worst part, really Tom, it’s not that you pulled the wool over my eyes, no no, it’s that I fooled myself into thinking this was actually real! I should’ve known I was just another pawn in your stupid game.”

Whirling around, you resume your getaway.

“If this was all a game, why would I have this?”

When your body slowly turns back to face him, Tommy knows the argument is done.

“What are you...” your voice trails off as you find Tom on one knee in the middle of the deserted street.

He held a little black box, and in that little black box sat a gold ring set with a diamond so flawless it remained sparkling under the gloomy skies of Small Heath, and a sapphire so blue you’d get lost at sea if you dared to stare too long.

“I do love you Y/N, have done for a while. Not as a game, not until I get bored, just honest true love.”

Tommy moves to stand in front of you, stopping inches from the tip of your nose. He takes your left hand and slides the ring onto your fourth finger with ease, pausing to admire the look of the gold metal against your smooth skin.

“I had to ask you to convince John or you’d still be in love with him today, wasting away oblivious to how much you’re really worth. Yes I had a plan when this started, but I could never have planned falling in love with you-”

Chapped lips graze over your knuckles, kissing each one softly.

“-I could never have planned the amount of time I spend thinking about you in your absence-”

His lips brush over your wrist, leaving pecks along the length your arm.

“-and I could never plan the desperate need to hold you in my arms, to see your smile and hear your laugh and cherish you, because you’re the only thing in this god foresaken world that can keep the storms at bay.”

His feather-light kisses trail over your shoulder and along the curve of your neck, stopping just above your lips in an undeclared challenge. You close the distance, hungrily drawing his bottom lip between your teeth as his fingers tug at your roots, deepening the kiss.

The intoxicating taste of sweet smoke and Irish whiskey sweeps over your tastebuds and you tangle your fingers in his soft brown tresses.

Reluctantly separating a few seconds later, you’re both left panting as you make up for the lack of air. His hands make themselves at home on your waist, whilst yours settle comfortably on his chest.

“You know... I never did say yes” you smirk, twisting the gold band around your finger.

“Mm it was implied.”

So caught up in the joys of young love were you and your fiancé, that you failed to notice the wooden doorway supporting John’s weight as he watched in the distance...

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