#they also very much mentioned the heat. but i think that just shows the impact of climate change

[morayofsunshine]

also tonight marks THE. FIRST. SHOW. that i have been to where the artist mentioned something about AZ besides the heat!!

[reiderwriter]

Satisfaction Feels Like a Distant Memory

Chapter Three of I Can't Help Myself

Summary: Your mounting attraction to Spencer Reid pushes you to the edge, turning begrudging friendship to deep hatred when he finally shows up on your doorstep. He's the only thing that can out you out of your misery even as you sink further into it.

Warnings: 18+ MINORS DNI, hate sex, rough sex, argument as foreplay, oral (f recieving) and face fucking, fingering, multiple orgasms, overstimulation, forced orgasms, "forced" submission, creampie, p in v penetrative sex, etc.

A/N: I've had about as much sleep as the reader in this fic has for the last week, but HERE IT IS! Chapter Three 🥰 You may need a bottle of water on standby, or at least a hand fan, because this one gets a bit heated....

Masterlist || Add yourself to the taglist!

You hesitated in front of your office door, which you supposed was going to become a bad habit of yours now. You tried lying to yourself, that nothing was different now, that you weren't attracted to him in a completely stupid way, but you still stood frozen in front of your own office door. 

Frozen and horny. 

Shit. 

You mentally went through a list of the worst things that could happen if you went in. 

1. He was there. 

2. He wasn't there. 

3. He was there, and he touched you again, and you moaned. 

4. He was there, and he didn't touch you again, but you still moaned. 

5. He was there, and you threw yourself at him immediately because why wouldn't you when you'd seen what you could be working with the night before? Fuck moaning once, moaning multiple times as he pushed you against the bookshelf would- 

“Are you gonna go in, or are you just going to fondle the door handle?” He asked from behind you. From too close behind you. 

You turned, keeping the doorknob in your grin, and immediately flattened yourself against the door as he took a step closer. 

So close. He was so fucking close and it was suddenly all you could think of. 

“W-What?”

“You know, the CDC warns that door handles should be washed every 20 to 40 hours To prevent bacteria like Escherchia coli and Staphylococcus aureus from-” You ignored his words, drowning everything else out as you tried to dampen the fire burning under your skin.

“Cock?” You said, all attempts obviously not working. 

“Staphylococcus, yes. It can cause Adenovirus, Rhinovirus, not to mention-” 

“Okay! Okay, Spencer. Taking my hand off the handle now.” 

Finally, you twisted it and walked backwards into your room, walking backwards a few steps before your foot caught on a stray pile of books. 

“What the-” you cried, waiting for the impact of your landing as you swung out your arms frantically for purchase, screwing your eyes shut as you found none. 

Instead, you found an arm snaked around your waist, another wrapping your hip tight as Spencer Reid cradled your body to his own. 

“Thanks,” you breathed out, not even hearing the words yourself for how much air was in them. How was it possible to expel air and hold your breath at the same time? Because that was how it felt being in his arms: at once a sigh and a stopping of all bodily functions barring want. 

“I thought this was your office, Y/N. Surely you should know the layout by now.”

Moment over. You pushed at his chest to stand upright, and he stepped backwards, removing his hands from your person. 

“Very funny. We both know these are your books. Setting traps for me now, Spencer?” 

You moved around the piles of books again as he flicked the light switch, moving the opposite way around your desks, before meeting you again next to yours. 

“You're usually more observant than this. Is there something wrong today?” 

“What, like Adenovirus or Rhinovirus?” 

“No, like something…” he searched for the right words, pace slowing as he tried not to scare you away by talking with you like this.

“Like something on your mind.” 

You snorted, leaning down to switch on your computer, and also to avoid his eye contact. Unfortunately, academic curiosity had gotten to you in the last few weeks, and you'd read some of his psychological papers. You knew exactly what it was the BAU was apparently so good at, and you didn't want him to know that you'd imagined him balls deep in you hours before. 

“Not friends, Spencer. If there's something I need to talk about, I'll talk to a friend,” you said, standing straight again and turning to him again. You still avoided eye contact, but it didn't matter. His eyes weren't on your face but angled further down, like he'd been checking out your ass as you bent over or something. 

No. No, you weren't going down that train of thought. 

“Or even better, my therapist.” You were planning on the words being a bit more playful, but your voice came out deeper than you expected it, more gravely somehow. 

Your bedroom voice, you were using your stupid fucking bedroom voice on Spencer Reid. 

You cut yourself off again before you said anything else. Before he touched you or didn't touch you, and you got to test your earlier theory about which would be the more demeaning reaction. 

“I have class in ten. Clean up before I get back,” you ordered, and you felt the hairs on the back of your neck stand up when he replied. 

“I don't take direction well, Y/N.” 

No, you didn't think he would. Neither did you though.

For a week, you tiptoed around the man, your words sharp, but your body weak to him. 

By day, you were hurling insults back and forth, messing up his papers and screwing with him via bookshelf again. 

“YOUR…FLY…IS….OPEN.” 

“VERY….MATURE.”

“MADE…YOU…LOOK…THOUGH.”

“BUSY….LOOKING…AT…OTHER….THINGS.”

“LIKE…THE…UNDERGRADS…THROWING…THEMSELVES…AT…YOU…?”

“LIKE…THE…PROFESSOR…I'M APPARENTLY…DATING” 

“Very fucking funny, Spencer,” you sighed at the last message, throwing the books off the shelf and pilling them up on the floor. 

“Don't even for a second entertain the idea of making that gossip a reality.” 

He grinned at you from behind his desk. 

“Okay.”

“Don't even - don't even think about it,” you said, stepping over his desk and poking at his chest as his smile deepened.

“Heard.” 

“I'm serious, Spencer, don't-” 

“You've thought about it.” You froze in shock at his words, as if your blood wasn't sure whether to run cold or burn hot and fast. 

“What?” You spat the words at him, unable to stop them coming out any other way. 

“You've thought about entertaining the gossip. You've thought about it a lot.” 

You needed to deny him, but he was right. By day, you tried to torment him, but by night, he did torment you. A week of wet dreams, of imagining him taking you over every inch of your office, of sleepless rest and failed orgams, and you could not escape. 

“No,” you said with a whisper, shaking your head and trying again even as your voice cracked from the lie and your body's cry for pleasure, for this man. 

“No, I haven’t- I don't-” You took a deep breath, but you knew it was no good, as his hand grabbed yours and flattened it against his chest. 

“Your pupils are dilated, your pulse is heightened, and your legs are practically clamped shut. Your mouth is dry, and I'm not sure if you've noticed yet, Y/N, but you're shaking.” 

“All signs of anger, Spencer, as you're well aware.” 

He let go of your wrist and sat back in his seat, just out of reach of you again. 

“Shame,” he whispered under his breath, nearly low enough that you didn't catch it, as he flipped open his book and continued whatever the fuck it was he even did in this office. 

You ignored it, anger really flooding you now, warring the heat of arousal that was firmly settled in your body for dominance. 

The anger won out. 

You grabbed books from your desk, files, and papers from the side table by the couch and your laptop from your desk and left the room quickly. 

You slammed the door, and you didn't look back, knowing that if you did, you'd see his winning smirk staring right back at you.

You marched yourself right to the staff administration office and put in for a week of leave. Spencer had one more week of work at the university, and then he would go back to being a regular FBI agent. 

Your paths wouldn't cross because you wouldn't let them cross, not when it meant for certain that you would give in.

You spent the week working to distract yourself from work. You finished books for your next semester courses, highlighting the better articles and essays to use, going through each bibliography to find better sources if they weren't good enough. You wrote more of a research paper you didn't have time to think about with so much going on. You corresponded with students, with TAs, with the other professors who wanted to know where you were. 

Okay, that was a lie. You aired the professors, but you did look out for any inboxes from him. Surprisingly, there were none. 

You spent a week throwing yourself head first into your work, and still, each night, you felt his phantom touch on you. No matter how exhausted, your brain still co jured images of his hands grasping your wrists, pushing them above your head and forcing his cock into you, his lips biting against your skin, the fire of his kisses leaving scars where they trailed down. 

You were running on three hours of sleep per night, sure, but at least you were as far as you could possibly get from the man ruining your life. 

You poured yourself a glass of wine the next Sunday, knowing that when you went back to work the next day, he'd be gone.

You wrapped yourself in blankets and put everything else off for the day, ordering food and eating it and not moving as you worked your way through boxes of pizza. 

It was when you finished your first glass and went to pour yourself another that there was a furious pounding at your door. 

“Y/N, I know you're in there, open the door.” His hand sounded again, and you nearly dropped the glass at the sound of Apencer Reid's voice. 

Your body acted alone, immediately following his directions as you damn near tripped over your own feet to open the door for him. 

Throughout all of your arguments, all of the quips you'd thrown at him, every stupid little thing you'd done to get under his skin, you had not once seen Spencer Reid looking this angry. 

His brow was furrowed uncomfortably, as if it were frozen in place. Gone was his perpetual smirk. 

“Spencer, what the fuck a-” 

“Thoughtless. Careless. Do you even know what you've done?” He snapped at you, stepping into your apartment and closing the door behind himself as he immediately walked into your space and began touching things.

“Stop! Fucking stop it, Spencer!” You said grabbing his arm and pulling him around to face you. He brushed you off quickly and worked his way through papers you'd left on your coffee table. 

“No. You stormed out over a week ago, you blocked my number, you did not answer any of my emails-” 

“I didn't get any emails,” you spit back, pushing yourself between him and your things now, bodies so close they were touching. 

“Then you blocked my email, too. You don't even know what I'm looking for or the damage you could have done, do you?” His hands were on you then, not threateningly, as you'd expect, his anger still burning through him if his shaking voice had anything to say for it. 

His hands stroked up your sides and back down again, smoothing away your need to think. 

“My files. My team sent me a file. It was on the coffee table, and you took it with you when you left. The case is ongoing, and I'm flying out tomorrow, and without some of the classified information in that file, we will be at a disadvantage. Our odds of catching our unsub fall from 83% to 47% without all of the pertinent information.” 

Your breath hitched as he leaned in closer. 

“So yes, I'm going to go through your things, and if you're a good girl, you'll root through with me and help me find it.” 

He stepped away then, and you held your tongue. As much as you hated him, he was right. You knew what he did, you knew who he was and to trust him not to lie to you about his chances without this information. 

“The files on the coffee table are research notes, everything I took from the office is in that case over there,” you said pointing at a bag still where you'd dropped it by the door a week earlier. 

He walked to it and rooted through it quickly before finding the file he obviously needed and letting some of the tension out of his shoulders. 

“You're probably glad to see the back of me, right?” He said, laughing bitterly as he turned back around to you. 

“Obviously not as happy as you are,” you spat back, stepping back over to him. 

“If you ever speak to me that way again,” you started, spitting at him in the most threatening voice you could muster. “It won't be a fucking unsub that ruins your life.” 

“And how are you going to manage that, Y/N?” He said, stepping closer to you until he had you backed up against the wall, trapped in by his bigger frame, using it to his advantage to intimidate. 

“How will you manage to ruin my life,” he said, his voice softer as he finished his sentence, but not by much. “When you shake with just every time I get close?” 

“This is not lust,” you growled the words out, but try as you damn might, you were shaking, vibrating even. 

“Then what is it?” 

“Hatred, dislike, loathing, detestation, abhorrence, fuck Spencer, you can pick up a thesaurus yourself and find out.”

“Yeah. Okay. I'll believe your lies for a second.” He walked away, he was walking away but the fire was ringing in your ears and you needed him to stay fucking put so he could take it all. 

“You're a jackass.”

“Original.” 

“You slammed into my life, expecting me to bend to your will and be at the mercy of your needs, your wants. Your office space, your fucking case files, your job-” 

“None of that was my choice.” 

“And it wasn't mine either, but at least I fucking left you alone. I spent the week in this apartment and left you the fuck alone, and you couldn't even allow me the same.”

His focus was back on you again, but you refused to be backed against a wall this time. 

“What did you say?” 

“You will not let me know peace. I have lost my security, my patience, my fucking sanity with each word you have said, my peace of mind, my sleep, my fucking sanity, Spencer.” Your chest was heaving, touching his with each exhale as he too held his place in front of you. He was so close, you'd practically spat the words directly into his mouth. 

“How is that my fault?” He whispered, voice still dripping with disdain even as his hands again wrapped themselves in your hair, and he tugged your head back, baring your neck to him as he leaned down into you. 

“How do you know that you're not doing the same to me?” 

You refused to answer, though, meeting his eyes for one last second before you grabbed his hair in your hands and yanked him down to your mouth. 

It wasn't so much a kiss as a battle for dominance, each trying to torture a surrender from the other with clashing tongues and teeth. 

You made the first move, but he was obviously expecting it, and he didn't even pause before launching his own attack, finally pushing past your strong defence to walk you back to the sofa you'd abandoned earlier. 

His tongue still lashed against yours as you retreated, refusing to give up your upper hand even as you moaned into his touch. The couch hit the back of your knees, buckling, and you silently cursed your lack of sleep for leaving you so unstable right now. 

No, that wasn't true. It was him. He had left you so unstable, moving between happy and playful to angry and wrathful in the space of a week without you, and you'd been denying yourself the ability to even entertain any of this happening. Now that it was, your body was unprepared, totally at his mercy, as he pushed you to your back and pushed up your skirt. 

“You're already so fucking wet,” he groaned slipping two fingers inside you as you moaned around him, no longer capable of thought. This was the moment, this was when he was going to make you submit to him finally. 

Instead, he dropped to his knees and you gasped as his to guess found your sweet cunt and he began sucking to your clit. 

You were on fire, skin scorched from the inside out, spreading in waves from your pussy to the furthest regions of your body. 

With one hand, he spread your thighs further apart and pushed his entire face further into your cunt, tongue pushing inside right by his fingers, nose pushed right up against your clit as he didn't relent. Every movement was another curse falling from your mouth. 

“Shit, Spencer, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck,” you whimpered, hips rocking back and forth as you tried to fuck his face, begging for more. 

To your surprise, he didn't keep your hips still but let you keep riding his face, riding his fingers as you chased your first orgasm.  

It came quickly, overwhelming you with the impact, jolting through your body like a lightning bolt as he let your hips shake and crash across his tongue. 

When he finally pulled his face away, it was glistening, and he wasted no time shoving his tongue back in your mouth. His message was clear - he may have let you take whatever pleasure you'd wanted with him, but he was still the one in control. 

You trailed kisses along his cheeks, neck, shoulders as he divested himself of clothing, shirt, belt, pants, ripping at yours to free your body as well, until the two of you were only left with underwear and you'd picked up every last drop of your cum left on his skin.

“On your back, now,” he said, and you complied. You spread your legs, and rubbed at your still wet cunt, jolting as he finally lined himself up with your cunt. 

But he didn't push in yet. Instead he wrapped two arms under your knees and pulled you closer, so his cock rested over the top of your stomach, and leaned down, his face hovering inches over your own, holding himself up with a forearm rested just above your head. 

“You see that?” He said, glancing down. “That is how much I am going to fill you. That is how deep I am going to ease into you. That is how far I am going to go to claim you. You can take it like a good girl, right?” 

“Just shut up and put your cock inside me, Spencer.” 

“You're so fucking pushy for a submissive little slut,” he said, smiling finally. 

“I am not a-” you started to protest, but he slid inside of your hot cunt and you lost the ability to focus. 

“Not a what, Y/N? Speak up,” thrusting shallowly as your cunt grabbed him and held tight. 

“I'm not a- SPENCER!” You screamed his name as he pulled out quickly, thrusting into you again with a speed and strength that had you wrapping your arms and legs around him tightly, fighting for him to stay right there deep inside. 

“Not a sub? Y/N, you're whimpering and drooling right now. You're three seconds away from begging for my cock, why the fuck can you not be honest with yourself?” 

“Fuck…you,” you said between moans as he rutted into you like a beast. He wasn't man anymore, bit monster, and he was claiming you inch by disgustingly perfect inch. 

“Let go. Let me take care of you, let me control you. Come on, baby, you know how good it would feel,” he said, before ducking his head and wrapping his tongue around a nipple. 

You screamed his name again, but you still tried to resist. 

“Come on, Y/N. Show me. Cum on my cock.” 

For a brief moment, you'd thought you'd resisted the demand. But then your brain faded, and your nails cut into his back like daggers as your body followed his commands and you came on his cock for a second time that night. 

“Perfect. One more, you can do one more,” he said, kissing your lips and lifting himself back up so he was sitting on his knees as he again picked up the pace. 

You mumbled his name over and over again as he fucked out all of the frustration in your body. Every thing either of you had said or done melted away in the glow of pleasure, your body buzzing from the feeling of him taking ownership of you. 

“One more, Y/N. One more, you need to cum one more time.”

“I can't, I can't I can't I can't, Spencer I can't I really can't,” you said, voice growing pathetically whiny as the tears sprang to your eyes and you choked back a sob. 

“Yes you can, one more. Together, we can do it together,” he said, groaning as you clenched around him.” 

He claimed your mouth again, his hand wrapping around your throat as he cut off your air supply for a second, then two, then three, as your ears buzzed and you finally slipped over the edge again. 

But this time, as promised, you weren't the only one caught in the pain of pleasure. Spencer collapsed on top of you as his dick spurted inside you, holding you close as he unloaded everything he had into you. 

He sat there, warming his cock as he lazily kissed open mouth kisses into every inch of your shoulders, collar bone and chest. Everywhere he could reach without pulling out of you and leaving you there. 

After weeks of no sleep because of him, it was his soft lips that finally enticed you into the hands of the sandman, his weight a comfort as you closed your eyes. 

When you woke in your bed, clean and clothed, he was gone, and so was every sign that he'd ever been there in the first place. 

🔖 @stillhere197 @understandingsunrise @mindfullycriminal @aliteralsemicolon @r-3dlips @alexafromamazon15 @jasf444 @subunitless @thebloomingeagle @lackingoriginalthoughts @empressgraytea @nox-sprite @alondralolll @allspicestones @chiyozai @i_heart_mgg @2hiigh2cry @tiyuel @jiuseoks @readinglatenights @placidus @dreamsarebig @pisceslovrr @waywardgoddess66 @tampon_racecar @kbaby-024 @luvdella @feyresqueen @a1dyn @pleasantwitchgarden @kolasbombaf @lovehadlovelost @kissesforspence @moonchildooh @bubbleebubz @theoraekenslover @melagem02 @calypso-read @ari-aurelia

(Note: There are multiple broken tags above. Please check your account settings and make sure you can be tagged when signing up for the tag list. I'll remove all dead tags after two chapters of broken tags!)

[lagomoz]

Proseka headcanons

-as rui’s childhood friend, nene has extensive fire safety knowledge

-shizuku is adopted, hence why she looks so different from shiho. she was adopted shortly before the moon rabbit event and it contributed to her clinginess

-shiho forgets this fact sometimes. she’ll casually mention something like shizuku got all mom’s good genes so unfair and ichika has to be. um. shiho

-kanade is mildly nearsighted/myopic but spends so much time at her computer she hasn’t noticed

-emu is buff. she climbs multiple stories without breaking a sweat and is canonically part of the swimming, handball and rhythmic gymnastic clubs, you can’t tell me she doesn’t have some muscle

-saki helps out as a human notepad for tsukasa, reminding of him things he would otherwise forget within 5 minutes

-the vocaloids also help. at first it was unnerving to have hatsune miku be an extension of his psyche that knows his darkest secret (stole saki’s candy when he was 6) but now his phone has a more reliable catgirl themed reminder system

-you know that classic nightmare of leaving the house without pants? tsukasa has legitimately done that as a kid. he forgor. (saki will never let him live it down)

-in the kamiyama student council/hall monitor room, an has put up at sign saying “_ days since last kamishiro incident”

-the shinonome siblings both figured out the other one was gay before they figured it out about themselves

-airi’s great at trivia from her time as a variety show star. she still can’t beat minori at idol trivia, though

-ena keeps a diary with fort knox level security. try to read it and you’ll lose a finger

-saki learned to crochet from the old ladies in the hospital

-shiho’s most treasured phenny is a somewhat lumpy crocheted phenny holding a very lumpy crocheted bass guitar

-tsukasa snores. he falls asleep in 10 seconds and sounds like a dying lawnmower

-mizuki has learned a small bit of french from their sister and uses it exclusively to teach rui and an how to swear in french

-emu still celebrates her grandfather’s birthday, even if he’s not there to celebrate with her

-ena is allergic to dogs, the middle point to airi’s cat allergy and akito’s dog phobia

-rui has various small scars from his experiments over the years, but nobody ever believes the real causes (rocket launcher, robot bite, exploding balloon animal, etc.) so he just makes up a new cause every time someone asks

-mmj! has had repeated incidents of minori and airi’s little siblings walking into frame when streaming at their houses. shiho understands the concept of a livestream but has still been caught failing at creeping past like that one new broadcast of the guy crawling along the floor

-kanade has pots & eds, this one I have a reason for look at her symptoms. chronic exhaustion, heat and cold intolerance, comorbid sleep issues and depression, dizziness when standing up, fainting after standing up, very pale skin, family history of medical issues, pain at normal physical activities, exercise intolerance, vertigo at mild exertion, she just fucking dies during the entire baseball event, I could go on. she canonically gets pain in her hands from opening a jar girl that is not just being out of shape that is physical disability. this one I will go conspiracy board on listen to me I’m right

-kohane ate bugs as a kid. an is horrified, toya is confused, akito is impressed

-ena and airi got in trouble in middle school because they’d keep starting fist fights in defense of the others honor. if they saw the other in a fight they’d jump in guns blazing no hesitation no questions ask ready to throw the fuck down

-vbs!rin and len were given a skateboard by an and then promptly had the skateboard confiscated by meiko for property destruction

-haruka is horrible with slang. she asks the stream chat what poggers means and immediately uses it completely wrong, killing all viewers on impact

-minori is torn between thinking it’s cute and wanting to die

-toya has been banned from arcades before because he made them lose too much money/they suspected he was cheating

-ena brought kanade over for girls night and nearly scared akito half to death because he went down to get a late night snack and there was some Ghastly Creature looming in his kitchen

-kohane's parents stick out like a sore thumb when going to her live shows. it mortifies her that everyone on vivid street can recognize them as the only milquetoast middle aged couple dressed in normal clothes loudly going YOU'RE DOING GREAT SWEETIE that don't know the first thing about music

-minori knows basic programming. she mostly uses it for forums, blogs, html, other web design things usually related to idols as a hobby, but she's become the groups designated anti-shizuku tech support

-mafuyu has always been able to see ghosts but after adults figured she was just playing pretend as a kid so she shrugged and figured it was normal and not worth bringing up again

-honami has one of those massive extended families and somehow keeps track of them all. at any given time cousin #57 can crawl out of the woodwork and she remembers their new job, favorite food, past three romantic relationships and list of allergic reactions

-mizuki does doll customizing as a hobby. they prefer making human sized clothes, but it's fun to make them miniature too. they've introduced shizuku to it and she loves it, but doesn't have the heart to do anything that would hurt the doll (sawing limbs off, dunking them in boiling water, shoving wires in them, etc.)

[pinescent-and-gingerbread]

This is just a question, not counting oc's, who do you think would be the best girlfriend for Arthur? Do you think it could be Mary Linton, Mary-Beth, Sadie or Charlotte Balfour? You can also mention Charles ^^

In my opinion, I love the story Arthur had with Mary, but with Charlotte he was so sweet; I don't see him with Sadie (especially since she still has Jake very much in mind) and I think Mary-Beth looks better with Kieran (although I feel that she did have a crush on Arthur but he respected her because of the age difference, I mean he was 36 and she was 21.)

But what do you think about all this? Who do you think could have been the perfect pair for Arthur in canon? <3

Hi Crystal! Sorry I didn't answer your question sooner! Here is my very long rambling about this.

My reasoning is as follows; Arthur needs someone who can see the best in him as he usually can't see it in himself. Someone who could bring him up and find virtues in him he can't see. I think he would also need some physical affection and someone able to calm him down when his bitterness or angriness wins the better of him. Most of all, I think he expects loyalty from his s/o, and if not unconditional love, a serious relationship at least, maybe a deeper connection at best.

With all this in mind, my first choice would be Charles. I know Arthur isn't canonically bi but you said I could mention him so here we are. There is a reason why this ship is so popular in the fandom: Arthur and Charles definitely have a deep chemistry. The thing that struck me the most about them was the immaculate respect they have for each other, and their trust is beyond any level! Never once does Arthur suspects Charles to be the rat, never once does his opinion of him flattens; Arthur cares about him, is interested in his story, in his wellbeing... Charles definitely is one of the few who sees the good man Arthur can be, who sees beyond his tough facade and "dumb brute enforcer" role. Charles is also a quiet and very calm man; I think his natural demeanor could really match Arthur's more anxious way of thinking and heated actions.

Mary-Beth is a very sweet girl, I like her character but she doesn't strike me as the perfect match for our outlaw. We know she doesn't believe Arthur is a cold-hearted killer and he takes the time to talk with him at camp, so it's a plus, but it ends there imo.

Same goes for Sadie; her loyalty and the trust they share is very meaningful for Arthur. What bothers me is that we don't see Sadie before her loss. During the game, she's a changed woman; even in the epilogue. Losing her husband clearly has impacted her and I think she wasn't that cruel/impulsive before. To me she's really good in the role of Arthur's best friend/sister. She's a bit too much like him, more as a reflection of himself (both share losses from loved ones, both are very action-based and brave, both can be impulsive and brutal).

Charlotte is an interesting one to think about. I love her missions and how Arthur is helping her without judging her life choices (you want to live on your own in the middle of nowhere knowing you would probably die from starvation to honor your dead husband? Okay, I'll show ya how to hunt). I think she could fit pretty well considering her loyalty, her determination, courage, and sweet personality; but we don't have a lot of material to work with, sadly.

Finally, I know Mary has a lot of haters around the fandom but I'm definitely not one of them. She, like Charles, is one of the only ones who saw the good in Arthur, and probably one of the first ones in his life, ever. From what we can see in the missions and understand from their relationship, I see her as a caring and devoted lover even though she had to end their relationship. Arthur is a criminal but she didn't see him as just that. Until the very end, she wanted to believe in his better self, and to me it's one of the most important things: Mary was there to bring out the good in Arthur and lead him to a better path. We sadly know he chose not to follow it, but Mary was still there after all this time, trying to make a better version of him, and save him from this circle of violence he's stuck in. Mary will remain imo, even though their story is tragic, one of the best choices for Arthur.

NB. These are my personal opinions! I'm not claiming that it's absolutely true, feel free to disagree and argue with me!

[flaresanimedump]

I love devoted and 100% in love Genos who is oblivious that Saitama returns his feelings, but....what about the reverse. What about Saitama realizing some two weeks into their acquaintance that for some goddamn reason, he’s falling hard and fast for this infuriating, chatty, emo, overly-serious under-twenty man/robot. Genos isn’t his type at all and yet Saitama loves every little dumb thing about him, and it keeps him up a few nights because his perception of himself and the universe at large has been thoroughly altered.

But, while Genos is about as doting as they come, he’s firmly locked into the student/teacher dynamic. Saitama wasn’t into dudes, and he’s still not into a lot of dudes (look, anyone would waver the first time they saw Sonic), but Genos has only ever mentioned fangirls. Saitama knows he has fanboys, some among the S-Class heroes even, but it’s like they don’t exist. He’s either avoiding the topic or he’s not interested, probably. It’s not like it isn’t obvious Saitama’s a sure thing, right? Nobody just lets a random guy move into their tiny apartment after two weeks. 

And this goes on for a very long time. Saitama allows Genos to move in and maybe relishes Genos’s praise and admiration a little more than he should as a sensei, and tries very hard not to think about boiling frogs in slow-heating pots.

Cut to two or more years later when a monster shows up that can hypnotize anyone who feels they aren’t loved. If they were to sum up the negative and positive outcomes from this particular monster, its impact might actually give the world a net gain, what with how many heartfelt speeches and interpersonal issues get aired. It’s certainly setting the members of the hero association straight - apparently, Golden Ball and Spring Mustachio were not married as everyone had thought, but they probably would be soon. Saitama’s just tired of all the crying by the time they corner it about a week later. Also, Iaian had made an awful lot of allusions to Genos and Saitama in his confession to Atomic Samurai, and he’s tired of looking at their faces.

The monster tries its usual magic dust and pheromone trick and goes on about how they should come to the dark side because it has affection or whatever, blah blah blah, but the HA has triple-checked this time to make sure that none of the heroes on the list are especially lonely people. Mostly by sending people who’ve already been caught once, but still.

Except Genos wavers.

Saitama has seen it enough by this point to know what it looks like when somebody starts to fall for it, but it makes no sense. Genos is three steps away when he blurts out:

“You mean you don’t know?”

This at least gets Genos’s attention, but his face is already taking on the resentful hurt that the hypnotic trance brings. But he has to know, because it’s - it’s this big, obvious, neon sign above Saitama’s head, it’s practically a visible part of the fabric of reality. It’s between the lines of every single thing, there are atoms and molecules and Saitama loves Genos.

“...You’re pretty dense, huh?”

“Saitama!” Hisses King, who hasn’t so much as flinched this week and neither has Tatsumaki and they keep looking at each other and Saitama doesn’t want to know.

Saitama ignores him and watches Genos stand stuck between him and some dusky-pink monstrosity that has started poorly singing opera. Saitama’s pretty sure the opera isn’t necessary, the monster is just trying to act cool. Genos’s lonely-looking face also isn’t necessary. So Saitama kills two birds with one punch and takes out the monster while it’s distracted by the mood it’s trying to set.

Genos snaps out of it immediately, apologies backing up against each other as he tries to say them all at once.

“It’s not that big of a deal,” Saitama shrugs, walking back over to stand in front of him. “I guess you would be the type who has to be told these things. Don’t fall for it next time.” He adds on, almost as an afterthought, “It probably won’t be enough to keep you from getting hypnotized, but you’ve got me in love with you at least.”

To which Genos intelligently replies, “What.”

“Come on, I have been since like, week three. I’ve been so obvious it’s embarrassing to think about. But I know you’re really into this whole training thing and popular and straight and all-”

Now this, this was not how anyone saw this playing out, so the heroes on duty have unanimously decided to stay very still and very quiet to see if Saitama and Genos finally get their shit together.

Genos can’t do either of those things when Saitama, the man who he has repeatedly, loudly, and to anyone declared his eternal devotion and love for, may actually be saying he has been in love with Genos for years and didn’t say anything because he thought Genos wasn’t in love with him, too.

Since absolutely nothing he’s said since they met has made it though to Saitama, Genos opts for actions. He grabs Saitama’s wrist, effectively stopping his continuing tirade which has apparently devolved into mentions of notable fan letters, and drags him immediately into a bruising, open-mouthed kiss.

Someone whistles.

Genos is very determined to get his message across without words this time.

[jellie-the-aqua-puma]

Hi...if you don't mind me asking, who are your favorite romantic relationship's couples in books/ manga/ anime/movies/tv series (can be canon or non-canon)? Why do you love them? Sorry if you've answered this question before......Thanks....

Hi! Thanks for your ask! This is a good question, and this is my first ask so don’t apologize! Currently my mains are

Dazai/Chuuya aka Soukoku from BSD, I really like their dynamic, just the familiarity they had when they came on screen for the first time together. I think Bungou is really well execute though, so S2 showing that they still can come together and pretty much treat each other the same way / exasperation with no heat? And then the light novels are soo helpful too! I really think they’re sweet for each other, and I just think that’s neat! Plus there’s so much to unpack with their relationship! Yeah Chuuya wasn’t happy when Dazai left, but did he really resent him for it? Did he take it personally? What are they going to do now? All they do whenever they’re together is their best to protect each other.

Gojo Satoru / Geto Suguru from Jujutsu Kaisen, the tragedy! Oh man! It took me a bit to get on board with this, but I’m in for life now. It was the “My six eyes tell me your Geto but my soul knows otherwise.” I haven’t looked back. Gojo so shamelessly admitted that and Geto fighting back? They actually remind me a lot of Soukoku, with the obvious being Gojo = Dazai and Geto = Chuuya, but also Gojo was the one who got left just like Chuuya. So much went wrong for these two when it didn’t have to! If Geto had just took the time to explain, if he didn’t stubbornly try to rationalize his mistake, if Gojo had not taken Geto’s words at face value, if he’d’ve pushed a little more. I really love the impact they had in each other. Geto is the reason Gojo pushes for a better future for young sorcerers (does not seem like it’s going that well) and Gojo was the reason Geto wanted to make the world a better place for sorcerers.

Sun Jing / Qiu Tong from Tamen De Gushi (Their Story), a Chinese manhua. The story is just so cute, innocent, and straight forward. No screwing around, misunderstandings, annoying drama, etc.

Galo / Lio from Promare - this movie was so good! These two are really cute! I’m gonna say they’re semi-canon …

Hua Cheng / Xie Lian Heaven Official’s Blessing. Tragic characters when separated but together work towards their best future! Love it.

Cheng Xiaoshi / Lu Guan from Link Click I watched this on a whim and was so impressed by the characters and story! Im super interested to see where their relationship will take them, especially after what’s been revealed in S2, which I’m still reeling from! I am eagerly waiting for season 3!

I’m curious about yours now! What would you say yours are?

Honorable Mentions in no particular order below the cut

Yeong-sin and Seo-bi from Kingdom (kdrama) even though they don’t interact much, them being the only two survivors of the zombie epidemic in Jiyulheon is really what sets them a part for me although anytime they’re around others they act like they don’t know each oher.

TodoDeku was super cute in a very innocent kind of way. I liked that Todoroki was the first person who wasn’t Izuku’s friend who to saw his potential and see him as competition. I haven’t followed My Hero since S4 tho.

Yoruichi / Soi Fon Bleach; I felt Soi Fon’s devastation, to be joined at the hip and devoted and then abandoned and left behind. Yoruichi is merciless, she didn’t gaf lol.

Speed / Trixie sealed in by the 2008 Speed Racer live actions. They were crazy in the anime.

Astrid / Hiccup from the HTTYD film franchise, what a power couple.

Nancy / Edward from Enchanted, they are wasted by Disney but they’re oh so cute!

Aurora / Phillip from Sleeping Beauty, they are also wasted by Disney.

Goku/Chichi Dragon Ball, Chichi is wasted by Akira.

Steve / Bucky too, from Captain America, the way Steve was constantly ready to raise hell for Bucky got me. I pretend anything Phase 3 and after didn’t happen.

[heartsbind]

tatsu: on friendship, and platonic and romantic love

i've been feeling the urge to write a more formal piece about this so here we go!

tatsu is a social butterfly at heart, although as a child/young teen he was kind of seen as more weird than anything - he was actually pretty lonely. but, he loves talking to people, and doesn't really mind much if somebody matches his energy or not. he'll match higher energy and adjust to lower energy, likes to figure out what makes people tick and is patient when it comes to other people needing to warm up to him. he's kind of a people-pleaser to a point, wants to be liked; but it's a hard point - he's really not as gullible as he looks, and if he decides he doesn't like someone, he'll turn on them just as quick.

that all being said, it's easy to unlock friendship status with tatsu, and that's really just by indulging them, more or less - showing interest in them, talking to them, being nice to them a bonus. tatsu likes going on adventures, and though sometimes they even like to get up to a little trouble, they're satisfied by a trip to a convenience store or a department store. (they give a very 'midnight trip to walmart' energy--)

he's got the capacity to make a lot of friends, but he takes being a good friend, a best friend, very seriously. they'll drop everything and come over at 2 in the morning if someone needs them to, they have no qualms with being super silly and goofy to make someone laugh or smile, they will hype them up so much and fiercely defend them. tatsu isn't adverse to getting into fights for a friend's honor by any means. his friendships are hugely impactful to him - he'll be someone's ride or die.

they have very minimal limitations when it comes to physical affection with friends - they're a hugger, a cuddler, a cheek and forehead kisser. and, the other benefit to being a close friend of tatsu's: you get a mom. you can be certain that if you're a friend of tatsu's, you've been mentioned to his mom. tatsu will talk about friends and crushes easily with their mom, to the point that she'll probably know quite a lot before she's even met them for the first time (though obviously tatsu won't share anything sensitive!). it matters a lot to miyu that tatsu has people they can share their heart with, and has people who will care for his heart in turn. friends of tatsu have a home away from home in the amano residence - miyu may not have the youthful energy she used to, but she makes plenty of food for dinner and loves a good game night, and she will make sure friends and loved ones of tatsu's are taken care of under her roof. she will also insist people call her mom, too - if they want.

in terms of romantic interest, tatsu is gay and monogamous, and they love just as fiercely. it would not be at all surprising if they're the one who falls in love first in a relationship - they fall hard and fast! they don't have much of a type, physically, save for an appreciation for pretty eyes (he thinks they're windows to the soul, but he likes to look in the heat of the moment, or when the other person is engaged with something they're passionate about or feel determination).

when it comes to personality, tatsu tends to be more romantically drawn to people who kind of contrast them - people who tend to be more serious, introverted; bonus points if they're still funny, even if they don't know it, or it comes out as dry wit or sarcasm. that isn't to say that extroverted people don't have a shot! tatsu is perpetually delighted by people who match their energy, but are also similarly appreciative of people who can bring him back to earth.

(indulgently, tatsu's first love pretty much upon his inception in blue lock verse is with rin, if that gives any indication of what i mean by his type KDSFDSFDSFS. i probably will play him a little obsessed with him in that regard - not that it's a thing i'll ever force, of course! but also if someone threw a rin at me i would love them forever--)

if tatsu's in love, it's devotion - in some worlds, it's borderline obsession. if they're jealous, it's borderline possessive, but in a way where tatsu inserts themself more physically - an arm around their person's shoulders, a hand on the small of their back, a quietly loud reminder that this is tatsu's person. he offers his whole heart to his person, and in term promises that he'll care for their heart like a treasure, something he'll never break. (he does try not to be overbearing, but still this does make breakups world-shattering - if it's not mutual, they'll handle it as best as they can, but they will more than likely wind up in bed for days.)

TO CONCLUDE....... i saw a tiktok of someone who was having a bad time and was in bed, and their partner roleplayed a cafe server as a sort of bed and breakfast treat; generally being silly and even pulling up a tip screen, and i mentioned it in my messy post about tatsu's love but i still think about it because it really is so real! tatsu goes at everything with enthusiasm and energy, but they can also be so soft and tender! they love so much! they think the world is so amazing because of the people that are in it!

[cozy-possum]

"Grisha who control the elements are controlled natural disasters waiting to be pointed to the target" IM FERAL OVER THIS DESCRIPTION its so *chefs kiss*, I'm absolutely obsessed.

Personally, I'd be throwing hands with any Inferni making everything all muggy and humid; I live in New Zealand, so I live in 80%+ humidity every day and its the worst 😭😭 i LOVE the concept of the Tidemakers essentially being able to become puppeteers, though – how terrifying would it be to be forced to move against your will, especially in a battle situation??

I know you've mentioned before how Tidemakers could feel "clammy" or Inferni having burnt hands or how Sun Summoners don't have a shadow; how else do you think this body horror take on Grisha talents could impact them physically? I think the physical implications are just SO interesting and really add to the perspectives of other nations (and maybe even non-Grisha Ravkans) to be looking at Grisha as dangerous, abominations, something to be fearful of.

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I'm glad you like it! I was particularly proud of it haha

Oh man I've escaped previous heat/humidity and do not want to go back lol

Yes, being moved against your will, or being unable to move when you hit a certain range that the tidemaker can control! That would be terrifying!!! Thinking you're on a scouting mission and suddenly you think you can hear voices, so you rush forward, and there's a group, the lost patrol, but they're froze to the spot, screaming for you to run back, instead you find yourself walking towards them, a strange sound of waves in your ears. You don't cry, no matter how much you want to, they don't want to waste the water for tears.

I think it would be really interesting if what they controlled didn't effect them or hinder them, that their science automatically compensated for it. And going of the fact Grisha are supposed to be 'rare' it would be a cool like 'natural protection' for them, and possibly another tool for people to find them before their powers develop, a way to hunt them if you go darker. The closer it gets to their powers showing, the more automatic processes their body does.

Also the more they use their powers the more visual it becomes. Shadow summoners who's limbs blacken, and seem to vanish into smoke in certain light. Sun Summoners who slowly go blind from their own light, burning from the inside out and collapsing like a dying star. Tidemakers who slowly drown themselves, every manipulation of water fills there lungs drop by drop, or the opposite, they pull water from their very being. Squallers who pull air from themselves, slowly suffocating, or they fill themselves up with so much they combust, they dissolve into the air itself. Inferni who have burns creeping up their hands, who cough and breathe out ash and smoke, their bodies being burned from the inside out, after all that's all oxygenation is

Tidemakers who never get wet or damp, even in the rain, not because they're moving it, but because the water knows not to effect them. Like how some birds have oil in thier feathers that makes them hydrophobic. They can hold their breathe for too long, the water dividing itself into oxygen for them to breathe. One of the ways to check if a child might be a squaller is to hold them underwater, of course, not many abide this old superstition. The can handle slightly hotter or colder temperatures as the water in their bodies adjusts. Tidemakers that can direct small bits of water, when it's raining the runoff never seems to dampen their feet or the area they stand.

Inferni that are never uncomfortable in any temperature their body naturally adjusting, they're immune to certain chemicals/combinations because of the combustion particles. They can gain bursts of strength, their bodies manipulating them as they would flame from the world around them. Depending on what specific particles it is they can manipulate (Would other Inferni be better at different particles/combinations?? That would be very interesting) they can breathe in highly toxic areas like nothing is wrong. They can track or recognize places and soldiers by particles, they can tell where things have come from if they've been exposed to certain particles from certain areas. They can effect the temperature of those around them, especially with strong emotions. Those that make an Inferni anger or someone that causes lust/ a crush are often the source of a sweltering gaze and prickling heat, sometimes when their gaze is averted, something close by will combust/light on fire/heat up. Inferni who give off steam when they become emotional.

Squallers that never seem to slow in movements, the wind pulling and pushing their bodies for them, keeping them moving, keeping them out of danger even if their body can't or shouldn't be moving. Like when a strong gust of wind moves you. They can handle low oxygen environments like mountains or caves easier than most. They can alter air pressure around objects to make them heavier or lighter to an extent. The wind seems to influence their emotions, or the other way around, most aren't sure and no one want to anger a Squaller enough to find out.

Sun Summoners who move faster, are stronger in the sunlight, seemingly full of energy when in the lights path. They can see in the dark because they produce a natural light that encompasses themselves, the more power they have the more others can see it. When they become angry or too excited, or just too many strong emotions it will blind others from their reactions. They never seem to get sunburned, or sun stroke. They become effected by the season more easily, the lack of sunlight causing them distress if they're lacking in a strong family

Shadow Summoners who can see in the dark, who don't recognise that there isn't a light source. They can move the shadows to hide them. They often move silently when in darkness. The changes in season are usually when they're stronger, they don't seem effected by the shorter days or longer nights. They can travel better and night, they can stay in darkness for days at a time, so different methods of torture must be used for them. They suffer from light sensitivity often struggling to be out during the highest points of the day or they hide from flames and other light sources.

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[being-of-rain]

Some thoughts on my Classic Who watchthrough, the second half of season 21. I’ve got really behind on these thoughts, whoops. I’m still hoping to get through them all before the end of the year!

First of all, before I forget- why on Earth does the cover of the Planet of Fire DVD have the random heat suit right in the middle, but no Turlough on it anywhere??? Bizarre. You know I love the glimpses of genuine drama and character depth in this show, so I adore Turlough in his final story. The way he keeps secrets and sabotages the Tardis at the start, it’s just like old times. It’s so much more impactful because we’ve seen him grow and change, so reverting back like this feels like something big. Then the way he and the Doctor’s friendship is pushed close to breaking point is great to watch, when they’re forced into a situation where the Master turns up and lives are hanging in the balance, and the Doctor tells Turlough “if you're holding back anything that will aid the Master, our friendship is at an end.” This is a real soap opera for Turlough, I didn’t realise this was such a family drama. And then at the end he makes a choice to face his past! It’s just so good. Every day I pray that Doctor Who gets a bit more experimental with its companions so we get more character journeys like Turlough’s. Oh, and he goes to save Peri’s life while he’s busy with his own stuff too, good on you Turlough. Peri has a pretty strong start! Like a lot of companions, she feels like she gets a bit more generic as her time in the Tardis goes on, but her first story paints an interesting picture. I have to say I agree with her step-father that her plan to join a bunch of strangers for international travel at such a young age was a bad idea... though I guess that’s more or less what she ends up doing in the Tardis anyway. Though to be fair I thought she adapted to it very quickly- One of the first things she does when waking up to find herself on her first alien planet is to find a way to fend off the Master by threatening a Tardis component he needs and fight his control of Kamelion. Her accent is very much under development though huh. Isn’t the story that Nicola Bryant tricked the BBC into thinking she was actually American? How. I’m a big Dr Who fan who’s been binging through this series at break-neck speed, and even I forgot that Kamelion was onboard the Tardis by the start of this story. I can only wonder if casual viewers at the time remembered him at all, like a year after he was last mentioned, especially when his reintroduction here was so sudden. Maybe he was a massive pest of a roommate though, judging by how much satisfaction Turlough takes in disabling him with a vindictive “you’re finished Kamelion!” The Master reminded me of a wild west preacher in this one. I don’t remember seeing much of this story as a kid, except for the one cliffhanger when Peri opened the box in the Master’s Tardis to find the Master was shrunken inside. Iconic. Also, I know the set for the Master’s Tardis is basically always the Doctor’s Tardis with a black makeover, but the implication here is that he modified his central console to look the way the Doctor had modified his to in The Five Doctors, which is hilarious. Finally, the Doctor really says that he’s going to change his ways after Tegan leaves, then the next story kills Kamelion and the Master pretty easily huh. Damn dude. He also gets to say “obey me” at one point when trying to control Kamelion, which felt so weird but fit with the idea of a darker series.

I didn’t have a lot of notes written for The Caves of Androzani, probably because I’ve seen it many times before. Though this is somehow the first time I’ve noticed the way Peri’s accent slips in it. I know it’s a really solid story, but tbh the serial isn’t going to make a list of favourites for me. Bleak stories with basically no likable characters just aren’t really my thing. My favourite bit is naturally the part three cliffhanger. What a phenomenal moment. Maybe it’s because of how grounded and well made the rest of it is, but the Cave Beast really does stand out as particularly fake-looking. But I also thought that about the Myrka in Warriors of the Deep. Surely two of the least convincing monsters in Classic Who? I can suspend my disbelief pretty easily for most of the things in this show but I struggle with them.

One of the only things I really knew about The Twin Dilemma going in was that it was rated the worst Doctor Who story a few times in DWM polls, so I was interested to see what I’d think of it. And now that I have, honestly I feel like I’ve seen worse? Maybe it’s because I’ve absorbed a Lot of Who EU content, and that really raises the bar for what could be considered the worst Doctor Who story. Plus I didn’t really find it boring, which is a crime many other stories commit, but perhaps that’s just because this is the first time I was watching it. I think ultimately a lot of the story’s bad reputation comes from the Doctor’s madness ...which is fair. I think the show doing something different with the Doctor was a very good decision, especially after the Fifth Doctor, and I like how Six explicitly references in the story that his personality is a reaction to Five. And that sort of thing can be done very well, as shown by the Twelfth Doctor. But I think the show made a few big mistakes with Six (and I’ll always say that none of them were Colin Baker’s fault, who was clearly very talented and did the best he could with the scripts he was given). All the mistakes basically come down to the story not really making clear what Six’s personality actually is. The biggest crime of the story is his bouts of madness, like (infamously) strangling Peri, which don’t actually reflect nothing about the character, and don’t mean anything in the story at all. They’re just things that happen... for shock value I guess? Compare to Twelve in Deep Breath, whose extreme moments like leaving Clara without the sonic and taking a coat from a homeless man still felt tied to the character’s newly prickly pragmatism. At the end of Twin Dilemma the Doctor announces that he’s “fully stabilised,” but that doesn’t make a great character introduction when it doesn’t make very clear which extreme bits of his character are staying and which are just going to be ignored with no consequences. Then there’s two things that make the mess worse: firstly, they end the series like that. Maybe they thought that would make people curious about the next series, but personally I think showing the main character at his most unlikable then telling people to come back next time for more of it is a bizarre choice (Again, Twelve’s Deep Breath was better for being at the start of the series, and letting the audience explore the character further soon after.) Secondly, the next season clearly doesn’t have a strong idea of the character, because despite announcing him to be stablisied, Peri goes on to say that he’s still unstable quite a lot next season, and he definitely keeps a lot of his unlikable qualities. In short, in order to make an ‘unlikable Doctor’ work, the Dr Who writers needed a strong idea of what they were going to do with him, and they simply did not.

Anything about the rest of the story? The Doctor being mean meant that the times he had sweet moments with Peri and Azmael stand out. Him saying “brave heart Tegan,” was sweet as well, and so was Peri smiling at the end when he announced “I am the Doctor whether you like it or not.” Tbh one of the things that seemed the most out-of-character to me was when the Doctor calls the Tardis hideous! I bet he felt awful about that later. Something I didn’t like about the story was the way it used the word “alien” all the time as if it made sense to use when the main character is a different species, and sometimes as if the word meant ‘enemy.’ Very bad vibes! I hate it. Something I did like in the story was how Peri could still be very competent even though she was overwhelmed by the Doctor’s changes. One of my favourite moments in the story is when she teleports into the Tardis, a policeman in there points a gun at her and tells her to stop, and she just ignores him because she’s got more important things to deal with like worrying about the Doctor. Amazing. So yeah, that’s the end of Five and the start of Six. Close to the end now!

[absolutebl]

Hi ABL, it's me again.

I've been thinking about the impact of BL on countries lately and how the landscape has changed.

We all know by now that Thai bl has become something of a soft power for Thailand, and due to several worldwide successes that have caused an increase in output and production value. Like, we are seeing more bl side couples popping up in Het shows and we even had a BL lakorn in to sir, with love.not to mention all the other stuff.

So my question is, while BL is doing great things for Thailand let's look at their neighbor Korea. While korean bl is better than before how do you think bl will affect Korean entertainment scene? Korea is not like Thailand, It has Kpop and Kdrama that is already working to export Korean culture due to Hallyu. Not to mention apart from Semantic error we haven't seen any big successes and nothing on the level of Thailand.

So, what does BL bring to the table for Korea ent, that will inspire investors to bring out more money that will improve production.

Also, do you think Kbl short length and low heat works against them in an industry where Thailand is dominating with heavy high heat.

Also where do you see Kbl going in the future based on their progress now and judging by thailand's development.

I hope my questions are not too much, have a great day (or night, wherever you're).

HI! 

Ooo, so much to noodle on here. Thanks for the questions!

KBL Waffling and Theory

So, what does BL bring to the table for Korea ent, that will inspire investors to bring out more money that will improve production.

I don't think Korea needs to improve production values. They already are one of the highest.

If you mean production length, like matching KBL up to Kdrama length (12-16 45min eps) I was hoping that would happen this year but instead they stuck HARD to their 2 hour timing. So now I think BL is just going to remain marginalized until they get their culture in order. Frankly Korea is just too conservative for full length BL at the mo. And they are intimately tied to JBL in this arena, and JBL also tends to stick to the 2 hour or so total run time. 

If you mean number of BLs per year production, they actually have been experiencing steady growth both in number and length (believe it or not they have moved many BLs we might have expected to be micro into 2 hour time slots). They are growing steadily, just not exponentially like Thailand. 

Also, do you think Kbl short length and low heat works against them in an industry where Thailand is dominating with heavy high heat.

No actually. The short length, maybe a little in terms of fan enthusiasm and interest (they are so short by the time the fans get excited about it, it’s over, so it doens’t get much word of mouth traction), but not the heat level. 

Never underestimate the general public's appetite for clean/sweet romance. There is a reason romance Kdramas are so globally successful.

Just because BL fandom and Tumblr gets excited about KP, and makes a fuss about LITA etc... doesn't mean that extends to general viewer numbers on a global scale.

Look at the popularity of Semantic Error or Cherry Magic. What about all of GMMTV's stuff?

Take the romance book industry, sweet contemporary romance (used to be called clean) outsells all other romance genres. Hallmark channel exists for a reason. Regency and historicals (also very low on the sex scenes) also do very well. I blame Jane Austen (couple friends and I have this theory that romance Kdramas do well because they are so mannered and reserved and gentlemanly, it appeals to the same repressed + courtship side of viewer needs as something like Pride & Prejudice or Downton Abby). Not everyone is a horny as Tumblr. Yes, errotica ALSO sells well, but it's harder to track and def nothing sells like the sweet stuff.

Where was I?

Oh yeah, I think KBL knows what it is doing in carving out a specific niche for itself.

Hallyu is super thoughtful and intentional in its preproduction marketing, by which I mean they do their market research before producing any assets. Kpop has taught them a lot.

Also where do you see Kbl going in the future based on their progress now and judging by thailand's development.

I think they will hold their lane. We will continue to get high production, small cast, contemporary set, sweet, and comparatively short. There will be a few historicals and a few high concept. I wouldn't be shocked to see a horror or a crime set KBL (Convenience Store, anyone?). They'll continue to use idols from lesser known or defunked Kpop groups. And we will see more and more not in school settings.

I still hope they give us longer stuff but I'm not expecting it.

I would like them to realize they can repackage soem of their het IP as gay, and this is something they really could and should do. Many older kdramas could transition to BL easily. 

I expect next year to look much the same as this one. With a few more produced. But I'll do my numbers speculation after I look at the 2022 stats.

More from earlier this year:

How far and how will the Korean BL industry evolve over the years? A lot of argument & discussion of Korea vs Thailand in the BL sphere 

Top 10 BLs Out of Korea 

Kpop Idols in BL Shows 

Top 10 Favorite Korean BL Moments 

[snezfics-n-shit]

Sicktember Day 20: Cramping Pain

Fandom: Ace Attorney Characters: Maya Fey, Phoenix Wright, Dick Gumshoe, Pearl Fey, Godot, Larry Butz, channeled!Mia Fey Notes: So this idea quite literally came to me in a dream last night so I am obligated to write it. Maya’s very clearly not doing so great during a long-awaited investigation reunion of sorts. She insists she’s fine, though, because it has been way too long since she’s had the opportunity to not only investigate with Nick but also see some familiar faces. Of course, it’s Sicktember, there’s no such thing as “fine!” Again, set post-SoJ for timeline purposes, no real big spoilers beyond T&T here, just that it’s been a good while since Maya and Nick got the chance for an old fashioned investigation. There are small mentions of background Magshoe, Fradrian, Miego, and past Feychols, but nothing really impactful on the story.

“... And that’s when he showed me his sword collection! One of them looked just like the one the Steel Samurai used in episode–” Maya’s retelling of last weekend’s events was once again cut off by a wince and instinctive press of both her hands on her abdomen.

“Maya, I’m starting to think you might not be feeling up to today’s investigation. You know, you can go back to the office any time and use one of the heating pads there. Athena and Trucy made sure the bathroom cabinet’s fully stocked, too…” Phoenix dug through his suit pockets to find the office key he was more than ready to hand over. Maya already had the original office key, but after an incident with Trucy attempting to pick locks while blindfolded, both the office door’s lock and key needed replacements.

“No, Nick, it’s not cramps like that! I’m on the pill, anyway.” Maya took a deep breath through clenched teeth as pain waved over her once again. “It’s kinda… worse,” she held up her right hand to stop Phoenix from interjecting, “but I can handle it! Trust me, Nick!” 

“Alright.” Phoenix had no intention of arguing with Maya, especially when they both were eagerly looking forward to this investigation. “Wait, I thought you weren’t allowed to go on the pill. Kurain politics and all that.”

“I’m breaking the cycle.” Maya shrugged with as much of a grin as she could muster. 

“Aw man, you were the one who broke my bicycle, pal?” The familiar voice of Detective Gumshoe joined the conversation, though he clearly lacked enough context. “I mean, it’s not that bad with my new salary, but I wish you would’ve told me!” 

“Detective Gumshoe!” Maya ignored the misguided accusation and ran into a hug with the scruffy detective. He wasn’t very scruffy anymore; in fact, it was so clear he had recently shaved that Maya could smell the aftershave on him. The strong chemical smell made her nose run, but she didn’t care. She missed the big guy so much! “It’s been forever! How’ve you been? How’s Maggey? How’s–” 

“Woah, woah! Calm down.” Gumshoe chuckled heartily. “Maggey and I have been doing fine. Missile’s been dealing with a bit of arthritis lately, but the vet said he’s in otherwise great shape.” 

“Aw, poor old guy.” Maya’s eyes wettened in sympathy. “I hope he’s not in too much pain–!!” Speak of the devil, her own pain was making itself known again. 

“Did I hug you too tight, pal?” Gumshoe stepped back to give Maya some space. He waited a few seconds to see if she would be alright, only for her to still be doubled over in pain.

“Maya!!” Phoenix couldn’t help but shout. A memory of his daughter flashed in his mind, prompting him to feel Maya’s forehead out of pure instinct. “Gumshoe! Get an ambulance! I think it might be her appendix!” 

“On it, pal!” 

. . . 

The nurses told him that she’d be fine, so why was Phoenix’s mind still playing a loop of everything that could go wrong? Was it because he should have figured out what was going on sooner? Was it because he remembered Trucy’s medicated ramblings about Houdini’s demise prior to her own appendectomy? The latter certainly didn’t help, especially when he was sure that was a moment his family could look back on with light laughter in the future. Clearly, whatever that future was hadn’t come yet. 

“Is Mystic Maya okay?” Pearl’s arrival and worried questioning brought Phoenix back to the present. “I would’ve come sooner, but Mr. Godot got pulled over…” 

It made sense for Godot to come with, now that Phoenix really thought about it. His relationship with Mia essentially made Maya family in all but blood. With the Kurain Channeling Technique, Mia’s death was hardly an obstacle for that, at least once Godot was finally free from the grasp of needing to find someone, anyone to blame for what happened. 

“Surgery wrapped up about a half hour ago. The last nurse I spoke to said she’s still asleep, but she should be fine.” Stating the situation aloud helped Phoenix to calm his own worries.  

“So help me if anything–” Godot started, but quickly calmed himself once Phoenix’s words registered and he saw Pearl’s relieved expression. “I’m, uh, glad she’s doing alright.” He corrected his initial angry tone. 

“Is it okay if Mr. Godot and I make a trip to the gift shop?” Pearl asked. “We saw some Pink Princess themed ‘Get Well’ balloons on our way here.” 

“Sure,” Phoenix nodded, “I’ll, uh, be here and let you know if we can see her once you get back.” 

. . . 

Phoenix wasn’t sure if Maya had woken up well before the last time he checked in with the nurse or Pearls and Godot just took a really long time buying nearly every Steel Samurai and Pink Princess themed item they could afford at the hospital gift shop. Either way, the three of them were not at all the first visitors Maya received. 

Larry was right there at Maya’s bedside, puzzling Phoenix because he was in such a rush that he hadn’t had an opportunity to inform anyone besides Pearls. 

“Nick!” A unison greeting from the two beckoned him closer. 

“Larry was reading one of his books to the kids in the hospital playroom.” Maya explained happily, but she still sounded groggy. “He was on his way out when he saw me in the window.” 

“Not a lot of people have a topknot quite like Maya’s.” Larry laughed before returning his attention to the recovering patient. “Franzy and Adrian hope you get well soon, by the way, and Edgey’s boarding a flight here as we speak.” 

“Please tell me you were at least aware of what was fully going on before you told anyone.” Phoenix pleaded, not wanting a repeat of the time Larry had nearly everyone convinced he had died after falling into Eagle River.

“Well, uh, not really…” Larry answered sheepishly.

“It’s okay! I’m okay with my condition being shrouded in mystery.” Maya smiled. “You need to lighten up, Nick.” 

That was easy to say when Maya wasn’t the one internally panicking in the waiting room over what sounded like a matter of life and death. 

“That reminds me, Pearls and Godot are here, too.” Phoenix gestured to the open door, not sure what was taking the two so long until the pair walking in did not include Pearl. Well, technically, Pearl was there, but…

“Sis!” Maya recognized Mia right away. 

“Mia?” Phoenix pulled his channeled mentor aside. “What about Pearls?”

“She figured Maya would want to see me first.” Mia handed over a Get Well card filled to the brim with Pearl’s handwriting. “She did a great job of filling me in, too. Now, if you’ll excuse me…” She wiggled her arm free from Phoenix’s loose grasp and went back over to Maya’s bedside, which Larry happily stepped aside from to give Mia priority.

Godot stood next to Phoenix, giving him a look encouraging him to let the sisters have their moment. Even if Phoenix was a little intimidated by the close proximity, it was clear Godot had no hostile intentions toward him, which still felt almost foreign, if Phoenix was being honest.

“I’m gonna look so badass with this scar!” Maya beamed. It was almost like Mia’s presence alone boosted her energy significantly. “You know, when Penny and I were going out, I think she had a scar like this, too. I’m gonna text her a pic once I can get out of bed without feeling like I’m about to keel over.” 

“Sounds like you still need a lot of rest.” Mia observed. “Do you want to go back to sleep?”

“Noooooo!” Maya protested. “I was gonna watch the Samurai Series DVDs that Nick borrowed, that is, if he felt bad enough for me to finally return them.” Though she still wanted those DVDs back, her teasing was lighthearted.

“I returned them!” Phoenix interrupted to object.

“Not all of them!” Maya turned back to Mia and lowered her voice. “He’s been holding on to the Sniffling Samurai box set for way too long.” 

“Oh, has he?” Mia raised a brow. “A curious choice for someone you’ve told me swears up and down that the Samurai Series stopped being good after the Rainbow Samurai.” She shot Phoenix a devilish grin. 

“Alright, I’m going straight home to return them and grab the portable DVD player, too.” Phoenix threw his hands up. “Do you want anything else?” 

“Maybe some lunch?” Maya suggested innocently, almost too innocently. “The usual, please!” There it was, turning the suggestion into a demand.

Phoenix sighed and left, with Godot and Larry following him just after a wave and some goodbyes in order to give the sisters their time alone. 

“So, what else have you been up to, Maya?” Mia continued the conversation once the crowd left. “I’ve heard you caused a stir with some of the older folks back home.”

“Oh, like you wouldn’t believe!” Maya started. “See, it started a couple years ago when I decided…” 

The sisters went on to discuss all kinds of matters, filling each other in on various events. Maya spoke mostly about her efforts in making the village a better place, using her power as master whenever anyone tried preventing her hometown from trying anything new. Mia had some updates on the sights she was able to see while channeled by various trainees around the country; being a sort of celebrity within the Fey clan had its perks like that. 

When Phoenix returned with the lunch, returned DVDs, and portable DVD player, he simply quietly set the bags near the bed before heading out to let Mia and Maya keep chatting. 

What a lucky woman Maya was, to have a sister who refused to let even death itself prevent her from checking in on her when she was in the hospital. 

Not many people could say they had a sister like that, could they?

[borathae]

Hi, I'm a new writer and i was wondering if you could rate my work and criticise it maybe? Sorry if this comes off as desperate, thank you in advance if you're doing it 😭

OMGFMMG NOT ME BEING A WRITING TEACHER OMGM I feel so honoured hehehe of course I can give you feedback on your work ofmgmf 🥺

Feedback follows under the cut 💜

1. Dialogue

If you are writing dialogue, make sure to make paragraphs after each character finishes a spoken sentence. As example I will copy a small portion of your story here so I can show you what I mean

"Jungkook" You finally managed to say. "Yes, doll? He answered "i's too much." You whimpered, already exasperated due to work

You wrote it like this. However this makes it very difficult for the reader to distinguish what character is talking and also, if the character already finished their sentences. The way you wrote it, the reader first thinks that it's just OC talking eventhough it should be a dialogue between OC and Kook

To fix this and make your writing a lot smoother, write dialogue like this:

"Jungkook" You finally managed to say.

"Yes, doll? He answered

"i's too much." You whimpered, already exasperated due to work

It makes it clear who is talking, when a new character answers and overall makes it smoother and easier to understand.

2. Proper punctuation

We can use the example sentence above for my next tip as well. I know proper punctuation is annoying to pay attention to, but it makes the writing look a lot smoother. In the English language, a comma follows after spoken word and the letter of the first word following is written in lowercase.

"Jungkook" You finally managed to say. -> "Jungkook", you finally managed to say.

Unless there is a ? or ! following, then no comma will be added but the letter of the first world following is still lowercase.

"Yes, doll? He answered -> "Yes, doll?" he answered.

Also "i's too much." You whimpered becomes "Is too much", you whimpered.

My tip is to write down your story, pour your heart out, have fun. Then edit it once to correct grammatical and typing mistakes and then a second time to make sure your punctuation is proper. It's like a little cosmetic lift for your writing, which makes it look a lot neater.

3. Skin colour

You mentioned "blue bruises from him gripping you so strongly" in your writing, however refrain from being too descriptive with your reader OCs in order for your writing to not sound "exclusive". Rather than focusing your "marks of sex" descriptions on colour, focus on HOW they feel on your body.

Blue/purple bruises become "spots of sensitivity/tenderness"

Red/pink/flushed cheeks becomes "you feel immense heat in your cheeks/you feel your cheeks heat up/you suddenly feel hot all over"

Red skin from impact play become "tender spots/heated up skin/sensitive skin"

etc etc

Focus on the sensations rather than colour, so all humans can feel safe & included in your writing.

4. Write detailed warnings

You know me fjadjf I'm the biggest advocate for detailed warnings, so people know whether or not a story could trigger them. It doesn't spoiler the story at all, but rather makes it feel safer for people and therefore makes them want to engage with them more. I for example give a story with proper warnings a read, while I steer away from stories with minimal to no warnings because I don't know what would await me. It doesn't matter how good the writing is, if I don't know what awaits, especially with smut, I won't read it.

For smut, always include the roles each character takes up. In your case that would be "Dom!Jungkook" and "sub!Reader".

Also if nicknames are used during sex, make sure to include them in the warnings as well because not everyone likes every nickname and many could be triggering for people. In your case the warning would be "he calls her doll".

You wrote "descriptive smut in the beginning", which is a very good warning. However make sure to still give details about what kind of sex the reader will be getting into. In your case the warnings could be "rough sex", "vaginal sex", "some dirty talk".

And last but not least, give pairing details. Something as simple as "Jungkook x f.Reader" is already enough to let people know what they can expect. Not every reader is afab, so it's important to state what gender your reader OC has.

I would say these are the big four tips that I would give you in order to elevate your writing. And now I have a few more tips for you, which I will lovingly call "nitpicking" tips because they're just small things which I noticed hehe.

1. Make sure you write names big

You wrote his name in lowercase like once, so make sure to always write names big. However one thing, which happens more than once is that you write "I" in lowercase. Make sure that you write "I" in capital letter, even if it is in the middle of a sentence. "I" as a noun is always in capital letter.

2. Numbers for counting purposes look better written out

You wrote:

Jungkook let out every 2-3 thrusts

Which is obviously a perfectly fine way to count his thrusts. However in written text, it is preferred to write out the numbers as to make it a lot prettier to read.

Jungkook let out every two to three thrusts

It looks smoother and a lot more refined to write out descriptive numbers, rather than write them in their numeral form.

So, those are my tips which I have for you heheh. I'm happy that you came here asking for feedback, because I love helping you guys heheh 💜 also keep on writing hehehe istfg I'm so happy whenever I hear that people started writing hehehe 💜

[tellthemeerkatsitsfine]

I’ve mentioned before on this blog that I have a severe phobia of snakes, but I think it’s been at least some time since it’s come up. It’s not a phobia that interferes with my life every day or anything, but it does impact me more significantly than you’d expect, given that I live in an urban area. Here are some effects of my extreme snake phobia:

- I love hiking and camping and other outdoor activities, and snakes aren’t common around here even out in the woods, but it’s still possible to see one, and that means I cannot do anything like that without snake-based anxiety. I didn’t even realize how high my baseline level of snake-based hiking anxiety was until in 2016 I went hiking in New Zealand, and had been told there were no wild snakes anywhere on the island. I still don’t know for sure if that’s true, I can’t Google it because pictures of snakes will come up in the search results (another little way this affects me – I cannot Google anything related to it), but I chose to believe it. And then, for the only time in my life, I got to go hiking in summer without any fear of seeing a snake, and it felt so glorious and freeing. I enjoy winter hiking, partly because I love snow and I hate heat, but also because it’s the only way I can go out in nature, outside of New Zealand apparently, without that underlying fear.

- I can’t go into toy stores because around any corner could be the rubber snake bin. One time, when I was about twelve, my mother was inside the toy store shopping, and I, as always, was waiting outside the store. My brother thought it would be funny to reach outside the store with a rubber snake in his hand and shove it in my face. I screamed and ran out of the mall, causing too much of a commotion. So that was fun.

After that, if I got into a fight with my brother, he could easily win just by threatening to buy a rubber snake and put it in my bed. For years, if I’d had any kind of fight with him, or even if I’d just gotten it into my head that he might follow through on this prank, I was scared to get into bed and had to get my parents to take off the covers and check it was safe first. All this over a rubber snake. I never thought there was any danger of a real snake being in there. The thought of how terrifying it would be to jump into bed and be confronted by a rubber snake was enough to make me concede a sibling fight.

- On that subject: last year, Taskmaster NZ had a task in which they opened the mailbox and found it was full of rubber snakes. They made fun of Chris Parker for how far he jumped in fear and surprise, but as far as I’m concerned, every contestant underreacted. If I ever opened a mailbox expecting it to just have paper in it, and a bunch of rubber snakes popped out… I genuinely think I’d have punched Paul Williams in the face, not even out of anger but just out of instinct. Whatever my instinctual reaction would have been, it would have been so violent that they’d have to stop filming and scrap the task.

Anyway, the way that one’s affected my life is I now get instinctively anxious whenever I re-watch any task from any season of Taskmaster NZ and I see them open the mailbox. Fuck whoever’s idea that prank was.

- Can’t properly enjoy any TV show or movie where there’s any possibility of seeing a snake, I have to watch it through my fingers and be ready to look away quickly. I watched the entire Australian road trip episodes of The Last Leg with my eyes half shut. I was a huge Harry Potter fan as a kid (different time, it was a different time), I read the books over and over but used to hold them by the very edges because I got scared to even put my finger on the word “snake” while I was reading, and the word was written so often. When the movies came out, I saw them all in theatres pretty much closed my eyes every time a new scene started, until I’d heard the first few words and could be sure there was no snake on screen. When they came out on DVD, I watched them with my parents and we wrote down the timestamps for each snake appearance, so that I could re-watch them on my own and know when to close my eyes.

For some reason, if I tell someone who didn’t already know that I have a phobia of snakes, two questions they frequently ask are “Have you seen Anacondas?” and “Have you seen Snakes on a Plane?” And… no. Obviously not. It’s weird that people ask that so much, because obviously not. Though I did used to appreciate that the Snakes on a Plane advertisements started with the words “SNAKES” in gigantic letters across a black screen. That’s nice. I wish everything would put the word “SNAKES” in gigantic letters across a black screen before actually putting any snakes on screen, as a warning. Would make my life much easier.

- Science class fucking sucked when I was in school. Do you know how many different types of studies can involve showing us pictures of snakes? Obviously, units on animals that we did when I was young. I still recall a video they showed us during a unit on the rainforest in grade eight that had a snake suddenly appear and I didn’t close my eyes in time so I saw it and that thing still turns up in my nightmares sometimes. Biology textbooks manage to get pictures of snakes in there in so many ways.

In university, I studied psychology, and my intro course had a unit on phobias. That unit listed the most common phobia, one of which was snakes, and it illustrated this with a picture of a snake. Apparently it did not occur to that author that since this is such a common phobia, maybe some people taking the course will have that phobia, and won’t want that picture in their textbook. I spent the first few weeks of the semester afraid to open my textbook, I had to open it very carefully and just look at the page numbers in the corner until I found the page I wanted, to avoid accidentally opening it to the page with the snake. After a few weeks, I got my friend to put duct tape over the picture so I could open my textbook without worrying.

And it’s still happening. Just a few months ago I had to renew my first aid certification, and the course had a bit about how to treat snake bites, I didn’t close my eyes before they put up the slide with a picture of snake on it. I gasped extremely loudly and instinctively hid my head in my lap. The class stopped, and when I managed to look up, I saw all the students and the instructor staring at me. I had to explain that I have a phobia, the instructor was very kind about it and took the slide down, but still, not a great thing to have happen when you’re 32 years old.

On the subject of snakes turning up in vaguely educational things, do you know how many letters of the alphabet have a type of snake that starts with that letter? Quite a few of them, it turns out. I learned that from QI, with each season having an episode on “[that season’s letter]-animals”. Have to watch those episodes ready to close my eyes every time they start a new topic.

- I’ve gotten pretty fucking good, over the years, at detecting the warning signs that a snake is about to appear on a screen, and closing my eyes or looking away. Looking away or blocking my view, if possible, tends to be better than closing my eyes. Because if I close my eyes while I know a snake is on the screen, I just see snakes in my head anyway.

And that’s the problem. I’ve gotten so good at this because when I fail to look away in time, which I sometimes do, it causes big problems. I see it every time I close my eyes for a while. I can’t sleep that night, or normally for a few nights after that, because I see the snake. And when I do manage to fall asleep, I have nightmares about it.

This was worse when I was younger. As a kid, I used to get into bed and then have panic attacks in which I’d become convinced my bed was full of snakes. So I’d get out of bed and lie on my bedroom floor, but then I’d still be convinced there was snakes underneath me, so I’d get up and pace back and forth to avoid them. Sometimes I’d be up all night pacing, cry because I was so tired but not be able to get in bed, and go to school on no sleep. That hasn’t happened to me in a long time, but I have had nights where I’ve gotten into bed, felt like there were snakes in there, freaked out, and had to get out of bed and do something else until I’m sufficiently distracted.

Every time I see an image of a snake, it gets added to the repertoire of what I see when I close my eyes with snakes in my mind. Which means vigilance about avoiding seeing them on TV really is worth it, not just to avoid short-term nightmares, but to avoid adding to the long-term repertoire. Like I said, I can still see the one from the rainforest movie in grade eight.

- One of the worst times it’s affected me was only a couple of years ago, at my grandparents’ place. My grandparents have this place in rural Nova Scotia, on Canada’s East Coast, and it’s my favourite place in the entire world. They’re right next to the ocean on one side and a forest on another, I’ve been going there once or twice a year for my whole life, it’s incredibly beautiful. A couple of years ago, I saw a snake while heading down their driveway with the bike I ride out there. They’re out in the country and don’t have many neighbours, but they do have some neighbours, enough to hear the screaming. I threw the bike at it, damaging the bike, before running into the house. I was panicking for about an hour, and then too afraid to leave their house for a couple of days. Once I did start leaving their house, I started getting to the ocean via their yard, I couldn’t go on their driveway anymore. I tried to go up in the forest one time, looked around, saw that everything on the ground looked like a snake, panicked and went back inside. I love that forest, and couldn’t go in there anymore. I love that whole place, and had become unable to be there without anxiety.

So at that point I decided this was getting serious enough so I should actually do something about it. Which you’d think I’d have done earlier, but the cure for phobias is exposure therapy, that’s always sounded painful enough so I’ve avoided it. That incident at my grandparents’ place made me read a bunch of books on exposure therapy, and then start doing some very low levels of it (I started by looking at pictures of very non-realistic and friendly-looking cartoon snakes, which was still tough), I think it was starting to get a bit better, and then some other things in my personal life went to hell, I had a bit of a breakdown, and decided I could not deal with that while also subjecting myself to snake images at the same time. Exposure therapy, as far as I can tell, does work. But only if you’re willing to submit to a lot of torment in the short term. I know I should go back to it at some point.

The second most common question I get when I tell people I’m scared of snakes, after “Have you seen [insert snake-based movie that I’ve not fucking seen]?”, is “Why?” So to answer that, I don’t know. I’m aware that it’s irrational, that any snake I’d have any chance of encountering in the wild in Canada could not harm me. I’ve been told that they’re more scared of me than I am of them, which I think is unlikely, but I know it’s a close call.

I didn’t have any traumatic encounter with snakes as a kid or anything. Our best guess as to what happens is my mother says when I was about three years old, she heard me screaming in the middle of the night. She said it terrified her, the screaming was so bad that she was convinced her young child had been seriously injured. She came into my bedroom and found that I’d rolled my blanket into a cylinder, and had my arms wrapped around it. She woke me up and I continued screaming, telling her there was a snake in my bed. She turned on the light and pulled all the sheets and blankets off my bed, even pulled off the fitted sheet and mattress cover, to show me there was nothing there. But I kept screaming and crying that there was a snake in my bed. I refused to get back in bed and she finally let me sleep in her bed for the night. She says she doesn’t remember me expressing a fear of snakes before that, so either it developed because of that nightmare, or it was already there and that’s just the first time it came up. But she thinks the dream was caused by my blanket being rolled up into the shape of a snake. Which means it’s possible that I was fucked up for life because one time when I was three years old I got my blanket tangled into the wrong shape.

I say all this to try to explain how much I mean when I say I don't like snakes. Because just the words "I'm scared of snakes", or even the word "phobia", doesn't seem to quite convey the gravity of the situation. Now that I’ve conveyed a bit of that gravity, I would like to say I really enjoyed that Bob’s Burger’s episode, when I first saw it years ago, that features Gene being terrified of snakes. It ends with Gene singing a song about how scared he is of snakes, which I found hilarious.

I’d forgotten about that song, hadn’t thought of it in years, until today, when I watched a documentary about Eugene Mirman, the American comedian who’s Gene’s voice actor on Bob’s Burgers. The documentary ends with Eugene Mirman singing that song, along with a bunch of other comedians, including Daniel Kitson. The fact that I'd heard Kitson was involved is the main reason I watched it (the whole documentary, that is, not just the song), but it ended up being a fascinating and moving documentary that I’d have enjoyed even if he hadn’t been there, I’m really glad I watched it and recommend it to anyone who wants to see what the coolest comedians in New York were doing between 2008 and 2018. It's called It Started as a Joke.

I'm glad I watched it for a lot of reasons, it was a great (though very sad, at times) story with some really interesting footage. But this song at the end was a total surprise, and so much fucking fun. Absolutely excellent. I think I might have to set the audio from this as my new alarm to wake me up in the mornings.

I am, by the way, fine with spiders. The only non-snake animals that scare me at all are if a lizard or alligator or other reptile looks too much like a snake. Where are their arms and legs? It's not okay.

[absensia-archived]

𝚃𝙾𝙿  𝟻  𝚂𝙾𝙽𝙶  𝙰𝚂𝚂𝙾𝙲𝙸𝙰𝚃𝙸𝙾𝙽𝚂,      songs that most inspire  /  represent my writing and muse.  

𝟶𝟶𝟷.  𝚂𝙷𝚄𝚃 𝚄𝙿 𝙰𝙽𝙳 𝙳𝙰𝙽𝙲𝙴,   walk the moon.    oh don't you dare look back  /  just keep your eyes on me  /  I said you're holding back  /  she said shut up and dance with me  [ . . . ]  a backless dress and some beat up sneaks  /  my discotheque Juliet teenage dream  /  I felt it in my chest as she looked at me  /  I knew we were bound to be together  .

it isn’t difficult to imagine charlotte as the nameless woman in this song, embodying the energy of a crowded and excited dance club, showing up in a backless dress and beat up sneaks, and dancing,  twirling,  drawing a partner into her arms with a huge grin on her face.  the song itself is all the exuberant and upbeat fun that charlotte lives for and catalyzes herself. 

𝟶𝟶𝟸.   𝙼𝙴𝚂𝚂 𝙰𝚁𝙾𝚄𝙽𝙳,   cage the elephant.     the heat is risin' and only gettin' hotter  /  ready to blow  /  I think I'll pour myself a glass of water  /  let it flow  /  she'll show you what she's made of  /  yeah, she comin' for ya  /  she's gonna try to break ya  /  yeah, she comin' for ya  /  no, she don't mess around  .

somewhat of a cousin to the song that was charlotte’s original inspiration,  she’s not there by the zombies,  this one is,  at once,  a story of a mystery woman and a warning about her,  only this time,  maybe the warning comes early enough to avoid trouble.  this song brings up ideas of char’s sunny personality and her love for the summertime.   its sound and rhythm captures charlotte’s usual easy-going,  active,  and playful mood.

𝟶𝟶𝟹.   𝙷𝚈𝚂𝚃𝙴𝚁𝙸𝙰,   muse.     'cause I want it now  /  I want it now  /  give me your heart and your soul  /  and I'm breaking out  /  I'm breaking out  /  last chance to lose control  /  and it's holding me  /  morphing me  /  and forcing me to strive  /  to be endlessly  /  cold within  /  and dreaming I'm alive  .

if one could listen into the sound of charlotte’s “soul,”   it might sound like something like the electric guitar,  synth,  bass,  and percussion of this song. the hysterical pace and feeling of this song reflects the chaos charlotte seeks to catalyze and nurture,  the chaos that surrounds and seeps into her.   the lyrics perfectly speak to the drive and intentions behind char’s actions.

𝟶𝟶𝟺.   𝚃𝙷𝙴 𝚆𝙸𝙽𝚃𝙴𝚁 𝚂𝙾𝙻𝙳𝙸𝙴𝚁 / 𝙽𝙸𝙶𝙷𝚃𝙼𝙰𝚁𝙴𝚂,   henry jackman.     the last song sounds like charlotte’s “soul,”   but these scores sound very much what I imagine the score for charlotte’s narrative would be.   the hard hitting beats,  the unceasing high - pitched strings that inspire anxiety,  the screams,   the sense of something awful happening almost immediately. 

𝟶𝟶𝟻.   𝙷𝙾𝚃𝙴𝙻 𝙲𝙰𝙻𝙸𝙵𝙾𝚁𝙽𝙸𝙰,   the eagles.   last thing I remember,  I was  /  running for the door  / I had to find the passage back  /  to the place I was before  /  "relax, " said the night man  /  “we are programmed to receive  /  you can check out any time you like  /  but you can never leave" .

for as long as I’ve written charlotte,  this song has been a core inspiration her brand of horror and type of psychological impact she has on reality and other people.   there is the sense of the uncanny as well as not being able to escape a place or person.  there’s a permanence that comes with crossing paths with char, that even once you manage to escape her or she leaves you,  this feeling of being in the grasp of strangeness,  uncertainty, impending chaos remains.  there is also the matter of a hotel representing a liminal setting,  one which encourages chaos and transgressions,  setting which charlotte herself ends up in the most.     

honourable mentions:  she’s not there by the zombies,   personal jesus by depeche mode,  lighthouse chamber by ben salisbury and geoff barrow,   and blitzkrieg bop by ramones

tagged by @wtrss <3   /  if you see this and want to do it,   please do and tag me! 

[s0lar-ch3ri]

NO. OMG. YOU FUCKING KNOW MYTHBORNE TOO!!!!

the mythborne tag probs has a lot of my shit BUTTTTTT it has people that are real and exist on tumblr

so real, they are absolutely trans bebo just cant not make them

btw, mythborne is actually on their yt and spotify and was my first campaign and the only reason i started riptide! i know its on both cause i also dont have the patreon so yeah

ALRIGHT ENOUGH ON THAT LETS GET TALKING ABOUT CONNOR!!! (spoilers ahead lol)

okay so connor. my boy. oh my god hes a boy. can i just say i thought that like ryan and connor had some gay shit going on? CONNORS FUCKING MORALITY CHANGED BECAUSE HE WAS TRYING TO SAVE HIM

anyways, my beautiful boy, lets talk about that magic that made him able to save ryan. despite seeming as not so special (ryan is jacked and aster aeliana is related to mr. aeliana), connor has a special power due to a book. what power you may wonder? FUCKING DEATH MAGIC. he uses it very logically (example: decayed roof to let light in to lead rats away) if ever, considering how they didnt really have like any fights happen. in fact, id say he uses it the least! however, every time he uses it, it definately makes an impact, and i think that says a lot about his character.

from what i know, connor seeked out this kind of magic because of his ill brother. he wanted to CONTROL DEATH to help his brother. i dont know about you, but that kind of love, of trying to control what is seen as a natural and an unstoppable force, makes an impact.

the kind of love where your whole morality shifts as though something in you dies, to go agsinst parental teachings and lose your strong morality and intregity in the process, that makes an impact.

even just plot wise, like the destroying the inside of that machine so the investigators couldnt stop the big game, that would make an impact.

like i said, each time connor uses the death magic (which isnt much by the way) it makes an impact like a changing the game tag. however, hes never used it to kill someone. yes, he murdered several rats, but all the actors were left alive. the roof couldnt die because it isnt alive. he got the death magic to make sure his borther DIDNT die!

its also interesting to see him paired up with aster and ryan of all people. ryan joins in on calling him "con-nerd" yet they still hang out, with their complete opposites of personality. and aster, whos apparently the daughter of the sun (ask me about my theory on her and you wont get me to stfu lmao) and has powers related to light and life, while death is associated with darkness and shit. not to mention, aster has used her powers directly on people to hurt them, so its as though she could be thought of as "evil" or smth like that (im only saying it cause it makes the comparisons work even better) (also example: she used heat metal on a flute still in a mans mouth).

asters opposite in magic, ryans opposite in personality, and yet who else would connor befriend?

and hes definately made impacts on his friends! aster at the beginning was quite shy when inside she was wild, and connor helped her let it out. ryan literally was having an identity crisis and he kinda just showed ryan that he cared for him being himself throughout the story (if im reading them wrong i literally writing this beofre i head to school so yeah)

connor deserves to be talked about more because by the goddesses does he make an impact

thanks for tuning into cherry talks gayly about his special interests lets see who i torment an answer out of next

hey so if you had to pick a character you either really really like or want to be talked about more (as in, put under a microscope and picked apart to see what they all about) from jrwi who would it be

im so not obvious teehee

hmmmm a good question..... CONNOR CONNORS CONNOR CONNORS CONNOR CONNORS I LOVE CONNOR CONNORS JHFJSHJKSFHJKFHKDJSFHKD hes so special to me and i feel like i didnt get enough connor connors content, hes just non existent (actually he could be more existent than i think but i happen to be one of the few people who do NOT own the jrwi patreon)

but like also if im in a different mood them chip jrwi is always a go to (i love bizly's silly little transguy characters (they arent trans but i have decided they are so now they are))

[intothemoshpit]

𝐝𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐛𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐠𝐫𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐢𝐧𝐜𝐥𝐮𝐝𝐞...

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( acceptable for all readers )

warnings: random headcanons that I think are acceptable. 18+ content mentioned. just too much things to list so be cautious if you're easily triggered and such.

6.8.22, unedited.

sorry for any errors below.

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DATING BILLY HARGROVE WOULD INCLUDE

in the beginning...

him being a dick. when if he decides to date you, he obviously likes you a lot; blondie has made himself a reputation of being a whore and sleeping with people girls like they're a brand new comforter bought for the winter season. but, even so, I don't think he'd bring his walls down right away. he wouldn't be a complete ass, but his attitude his always show off-ish and tone can be quite hard at times.

random mood swings. due to the fact that billy has dealt with both physical and mental abuse, I think it's safe to say his mental health has been impacted greatly from that and has led him to develop mental illness(es) of his own. can't say for sure what, but anger plays a big role in it. he'll definitely snap at you over the littlest things at first.

constant arguments. If you're more closed off, shy and rather not indulge in anything involving shouting, I don't see you stirring the pot more than it already has been. in fact, you get rather shook up and jumpy whenever billy starts shouting over small things. however, if you're the opposite, then I can see things getting bad. nothing physical would happen, but I do believe things can get broke in the heat of the moment.

anxious smoking. since his emotions and thoughts would be bottled up, and he feels as if he can't talk to anyone, including you, he'd always have a lit cigarette to his lips to calm his anxieties. most of the time he chain smokes because of this.

refusing affection. I don't see him giving into any of your touches, at first, unless it's to make out or possibly move further. he releases his anger that way. with other touches, such as hugs, he recoils because he hasn't had someone touch him like that since his mom passed.

random side eyes. since billy knows he isn't the greatest person to be with, he always feels immense guilt after arguments or snapping out on you. he tends to give you side eyes and brief glances, while considering an apology.. maybe something more. of course, nothing ever goes further than that.

little pda at school. while we know hargrove loves to touch and show off anything that's his, when it involves a fresh relationship, I just don't think he'd be too romance-y and such at first. of course, I see him having a hand in your back pocket upon first entering the school, but once you two split for classes that would be done with until you two are alone again. and, perhaps throughout the day, he'd give you a tiny peck on the lips two or three times.

him being overly jealous. he still lets you have your own freedom, as in he's not up your ass about everybody, but if someone even speaks to you in a slightly flirtatious manner, he's by your side with a sickly sweet smile, silently fuming, with a hand wrapped around your waist. I think I can all say he won't necessarily make a scene unless the person doesn't take a hint and back off.

questioning your whereabouts. if you leave his side after school, not to go back to your own place, billy has the habit of questioning where you're going. it may come off as toxic, maybe it is but in reality he's worried... and kind of insecure, but you didn't hear it from me. this also connects with just any time you aren't with him, or by his side; expect phone calls to your house.

later on...

he doesn't yell at you as much. while I very much think billy has anger issues, and mood swings and sometimes can't control, I can see him realizing later on just how badly he mistreats you and picks fights. he'll slowly start to catch himself mid-yell and stop, before walking off to go have a cigarette to calm his nerves. the days also seem to carry on more peacefully; more with him starting to come around, and less arguments.

talking with you. before, billy would just smoke twenty-four-seven to the point where the ashtray would be filled with eight butts within twenty five minutes. later on, though, he cuts down on smoking - deciding that maybe, if he verbalizes to you what's wrong, he'll become less snappy. it works most of the time... but he's extremely awkward with speaking about his feelings and problems, so expect pauses in between.

being more physically loving. billy will definitely come around at some point and let you touch him. maybe it still does make him slightly uncomfortable, but after a bit he becomes touch starved and often finds himself either laying his head in your lap, so you can play with his hair, or he finds every excuse to hug you from behind. it's definitely a turn around, not that your complaining though.

apologizing more. he, in fact, is not too good with apologies. billy gets real awkward and tends to trip up, and word things wrong. but I definitely think, at some point, he gets better with it; would sometimes pair the apology with a small gift, like a stuffed animal or your favorite flower. or, even, he might show you he's sorry by physical convincing you with sweet yet alluring kisses.

more pda in public. by time he's come around to be a better boyfriend, I already see you both out of high school. this means less small pecks in the hallways, and more hand holding and shared kisses at the pool, and other public places. usually, at the pool, billy will take you off guard when you're searching for him and wrap his arms around you from behind. this follows up with him lifting you off the ground, and twirling you around until you get done screaming your head off. expect him to try and push you into the pool once or twice, too. out of there, he often holds your hand; caressing his thumb over your knuckles absentmindedly as an instinct to make sure you're alright. more physical teasing tends to be shared as well, because he just loves making you flustered.

less controlling and more trusting. while billy would still get jealous at times, he'll loosen up at some point and not question where you're going. the only way he would, is if it's suspicious; you leaving in a rush and not mentioning for what, as an example. I also see him, at some point, giving a very bad apology about being a dick about questioning you in the past. the fact that you won't be too bothered by it at that moment in time, will ease him and make him put more faith into you.

him taking care of you. we all obviously see billy ass this tough guy who who's one massive asshole. but, even though that is kind of true, I don't think he'd be the kind of boyfriend that lets his girlfriend's wounds go untreated. if you get into a fight or an accident happens, involving physical injury, I see this man becoming insanely worried on the inside and instantly pulling you to the bathroom. your set onto the sink, and only seconds later would your wounds be addressed. as a bonus, if it involves a fight, expect him to go after that person.

being protective. billy has a thing where he refuses to let people mess with what's his. he's very protective of you, so if the wrong guy says the wrong comment, expect a fight to break out. or if a jealous bitch says something way out of their range, expect him to go off with his own out of pocket comment. he doesn't let anyone pick on you, and he sure as hell will go ballistic if another human being touches you in anyway without your consent.

him sprouting random ideas when high. for some reason, I see blondie as a goofy dude when he's on cloud 9. he'll speak shower thoughts, things he's just never said out loud before but would surface due to his brain being elsewhere. in my head, he'll definitely mention getting matching tattoos more than once - however, since he's gonzo, he'll suggest the dumbest shit. you always bring it up later on just to tease him, and he becomes a pouty bitch that gives you the silent treatment.

him meeting your family. when this option hits the table, he's not too thrilled at first; hargrove just isn't too good with families, so meeting his partner's would be... awkward. very tense, in his mind. though, I do see him trying his best to be good. to your guardian(s), if they're nothing like his father is, I can see him attempting to strike an actual conversation with them to possible get on their good side. he won't suck up, but he'll definitely be out of character. if you have any younger siblings, billy will definitely make an effort to get along with them and maybe form a small bond.

him making up with max. this alone would be a difficult subject for him. in order for him to do this, he'd have to explain everything to her.. which he wasn't okay with doing at first. after some convincing from you though, and shared kisses and praising words, he finally gives in. it's kind of sloppy, and billy messes up with his wording a few times, but eventually he explains to max why he was such an asshole to her. in the end, the two become acquaintances that soon lead up to a beautiful friendship.

I feel like there is way more that can be said, but for now I'll leave this here. I think I pretty much summed it up how I see billy as a partner. hopefully, it's not too bad.