#they also have weird pregnant sex. but i think ive talked about that before….. | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

its-not-a-phase-mom-i-d8-demons · 4 years ago

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pairings: Lucifer x Fem!Reader, Mammon x Fem!Reader, Leviathan x Fem!Reader

warnings: tw abandonment (but it turns out okay, I promise), mentions of the act of birthing,

A/N: you came to the right place! as the second oldest of six children, I have some experience when it comes to pregnancy:) I hope you don't mind, nonny, but I'm gonna split this up into a few parts so I can do the dateables as well!

Lucifer

The moment you had shyly produced the positive pregnancy test from the pocket of your hoodie, it felt like Lucifer had entered into a fever dream filled with nursery designs, baby names, the expenses that pile up before the baby even arrives, researching human pregnancy, keeping you out of harm's way and healthy and happy...

So when you first stagger out of bed and rush to his bathroom, hand clamped over your mouth and one shaky hand on your slightly swollen tummy, Lucifer isn't surprised

He is very concerned, however. You had been so nervous to tell him of your pregnancy, you waited until the last moment before your bump was noticeable to tell him

That meant you had been suffering from all of these pregnancy side effects before he'd permanently moved you to sleep in his room

Lucifer hoists himself out of bed and pads into the bathroom, gathering up your hair, if any, into his fist and pulling your hunched form between his legs for support

You hate this feeling with a passion; throbbing stomach and a lump in your throat with little to no vertigo and tears rolling down your face as you try and catch your breath

You tell him it hurts, you ask him if he can take the pain away as your head rests on his chest, lashes fluttering with wooziness

Lightheadedness was unbearably common; you would suddenly grip his sleeve and he could watch the color drain from your face and your knees get shaky, body beginning to sway

He always catches you though, finding a place for you to sit or lie down and gather yourself

Tummy rubs become more common; the feeling of his hands against your bare tummy, spreading their warmth and nullifying the ache, allowing you to relax

He's extremely attentive as well and can tell whenever you need something

Water? Here's a cup sweetheart, remember, you're hydrating and eating for two people!

Craving something? Chocolate? Fried pickles? Chips of some kind? sweets? He's stockpiled anything you could want and locked it away just for you.

I feel like Lucifer would want your baby to be a little girl. A little princess he can carry on his shoulders and spoil with his love and gifts.

Satan ruined him for having another baby boy, but if that's how the cards fall, he certainly wouldn't mind. Unfortunately, he'd be constantly walking on eggshells, afraid he'll make your little boy into another rebellious child

That's the last thing he wants

Lucifer does his best to keep his kid away from Satan and Belphie and out of the 'Formerly Anti-Lucifer League', but sometimes you're taking a nap or out shopping with Asmodeus, and Satan and his brothers manage to coerce the little one into their shenanigans

One thing is for sure though, even if Lucifer didn't want any kids and the creation of one was unplanned, he would never ever turn you away

He's very responsible and does anything in his power to make the pregnancy as easy and happy as possible

On the day you are to give birth, he's a mess

He has already sweat through 3 shirts by the time the IV has been secured to your hand

Everything he says doesn't come without a stutter

He's squeezing your hand and kissing your hair during labor, trying to distract you from the burn between your legs as much as he can

You probably need extra stitches from baby's horns ngl

Definitely cries before the baby is even put in your arms

Refuses to let his brothers come and see you, "They can wait until we go home."

Lucifer is Smitten™

He smooches the tiredness under your eyes and tells you to get some rest

Surprisingly, he enjoys a lot of the names from the human world you discuss and will most likely pick one of those

But if it's a girl, her name is Lilith. I'm sorry MC, your input is invalid at this time

You don't regret 'final day in the devildom sex' at all when you get to witness the Avatar of Pride reduced to tears when the nurse puts the child in his arms

P-P-Pregnant? MC, ya better be jokin'...

Mammon

You weren't, judging by the pregnancy test(s) clutched in your fist

He's not mad at you, he's not upset, (in fact, he's the happiest he's ever been), he just scared

Broken Condom Victim™

He loved you just a bit too hard last week...

but let's be real here, HIS MC, carrying HIS baby?

That's like the highest level of ownership on his lovely human you could get! Levi, Asmo, Beel, Lucifer, everyone would be SOOOO JEALOUS!!!

AND

He gets to have a little one running around again!

You saw how sweet he was to babified Satan in the obey me anime premier! He LOVES little kids and nothing would make him happier than someone to play with (besides MC of course) that wouldn't make fun of him for messing up and being silly!

AND

You're so pretty!!

I mean, ya were always pretty, but somethin' about ya is different and yer even more beautiful than before somehow!

Mammon said, his entire face the shade of a pomegranate

Pregnancy glow is REAL

Asmo agrees, after stealing you away from an extremely overprotective mammon and hiding in the attic to chat without disturbance (mammon)

But as much as YOU know he would be the BEST father, comments from his brothers continue to drag him down and the evenings he cried into your shoulder became more and more frequent as your pregnancy progresses

Mammon, as we all know, is, in fact, a tiddy man

He likes to touch and squeeze them, and just gently hold them while cuddling or even browsing in a store, he'd just come up behind you and touch your boobs

(also, mammon likes all sizes, so if you have next to no tiddy like me, you'll be at his mercy as well. those with the large honkers, however, watch yourself)

Now that there's a miracle growing in your tummy, other parts of your body are preparing for its arrival, including your chest

Swelling, swelling, soreness, growing and darkening of the nipples, and swelling make it so Mammon can no longer touch your pretty tiddies :(((

(grammarly didn't like that word)

On the day mammon snack size was to be born, mammon is silent but extremely fidgety

It was early in the morning when you'd shaken him awake like, "mammoney, I'm going into labor" and he was out of bed and out the door with your luggage before you finished blinking

After grabbing your DDD's and you, he carries you down to the car (what dysfunctional family doesn't have a car? a nice one (Mercedes, Audi, you get the idea) for lucifer and a Volkswagon bus or something for his siblings to share) and drives quickly, but very carefully drives to the hospital, holding your hand the whole way.

He covers your eyes when they put the IV in, just in case you're squeamish, and rubs your arms as the drugs begin to take effect and there's a little fear in your eyes at the thought of pushing an entire human/demon being out of your coochie

He assures you and never lets go of your hand no matter how long you're in labor

When it's all over with and you are resting in your hospital bed waiting for the doctors to finish the Apgar tests and give you your baby

Mammon is speechless as the nurse places the baby in your arms

That's HIS KID!!

Immediately starts crying

The little horns poking out of the blanket? Those look just like his!!

Judging by the bit of hair on it's head, it looks like the baby will have hair like yours

If it's a baby boy, he thinks it should be named "Mammon II" but you just giggle and remind him of the deal he made with lucifer long ago, that his first born child, no matter the gender, had to have 'Lucifer' somewhere in their name

Human names are dumb, except for yours of course, so he searches for suitable demon names

The last thing he wants is a kid named Lucifer, so that will be the kid's middle name

He really regrets his past decisions now

Leviathan

"Levi?"

"Yeah, babe?"

"I'm pregnant."

*leviathan has been KO'd*

No joke, this man is literally floored and didn't wake up for a while and you were afraid you had just slain the fucking Lord of Shadows

Some Henry you were

You had to call Lucifer in to wake him up because he was still flat on the floor a half and hour later

Mammon is more that happy to tip a bucket of ice water on the face of the son of a bitch that impregnated HIS MC

Levi wakes up and pounces on you, gripping you tightly by the arms

"You're k-kidding r-right?"

Him? A father?

Uhhhhhhh

Unfortunately, Leviathan.exe has stopped working, try again in two thousand years

I hate to say this, but he definitely detaches himself for a while until his brothers, especially Asmodeus, literally beat him into shape

He comes back to you, a little bruised and sobbing, but not from the beating he just received

He's so sorry he neglected you! He's such a horrible demon, undeserving of your welcoming nature

He's gonna be the worst dad, and he's not good enough for you, and his kid will hate him just like everyone else does, he doesn't deserve you, he's so sorry for making you suffer the side effects and feel all alone,

Sir, I-

FALSE

It's your turn to shake some sense into him, reminding him that he would be the. best. dad!!

Not to mention the fact that you were just happy he realized his mistakes and came back to you

He begs you to sleep in his bed tub with him for security, and you have to admit his tail is very comforting

Levi does extensive research on human pregnancy and now at the dinner table, instead of talking about the latest slice of life anime he'd been watching, he's just spouting random pregnancy facts and you're laughing so hard it brings you to tears

When the weird dreams and vivid nightmares happen, Levi is right behind you, rubbing your swollen tummy, and letting you talk about them

A lot of them were about him and about your future child

Most of them were about how they got hurt in some way, either that or YOU got hurt and the baby died

These, more often than not, brought you to tears and stress you out, but Levi is right there, okay? Nothing can hurt you, nor would he let anything happen to you on his watch

Learns how to massage you (safely) to reduce stress

Definitely talks to the baby a lot

Levi begged you to be induced so the birth was safe and not a sudden occasion and you agree

On the day the doctor recommended, you arrived at the hospital and got down to business

Levi didn't really want to be in the room with you, but he knew he had to for your sake and he'd played a few birth simulators from both perspectives and you really needed him

Kinda sits there awkwardly comforting you and encouraging you, holding your hand and caressing your cheeks, a bit flushed from exertion and tears

Listen

If the baby is a boy, his name will be Henry and that's final

If it's a girl, he doesn't really care, as long as you don't name her 'mammonia' or something dumb like that

definitely crashes your hospital bed to snuggle until the baby is ready

cries when the baby wraps its extremely small digits around one of his own

also at the little horns protruding from its head

and the tuft of purple in its head

Also Smitten™

He's so excited to get home and show off his beautiful baby to his brothers and then formulate a plan to raise the kid to live and breathe TSL just like his daddy <3

July 9th: VIP MEMBERS, GET YALLS JUICE!!

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alixxxxcat21 · 5 years ago

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Ⱥէ Ͳհҽ Ɛղժ φąɾէ 2

I woke up, not in a room I recognized. I didn’t know what time it was. There was something off about my body. I couldn’t move. I then lifted my head and realized my body was in a hospital gown, not only that but I was strapped to the hospital bed.

I hear the beeping of the monitor that was next to me. There was a bag of liquid hanging and administering a drip through a tube that no doubt led to my arm. Considering that this all generally freaked me out and my heart rate jumped.

I heard the hiss of an automatic door. Not something I would have thought I would be hearing considering the state of the world.

“You’re awake,” said a familiar male voice.

“And strapped to a bed. Any ideas as to why?” I asked.

He was silent and his normal perfect jaw was clenched, and a vein was popping in his neck. That didn’t fill me with a warm and fuzzy feeling. However, the silence meant something happened. Something he didn’t want to tell me.

I heard the door open again and man in a lab coat walked in.

“Our sleeping beauty is awake,” he said.

Wesker turned slightly. I followed his head to see the clear double-sided window. I almost died when I saw what it was, he didn’t want to tell me.

For one, my once dark brown eyes were blue, and cat-like. I couldn’t tell why I was strapped to the bed, but I noticed when I tried to shift, something on my lower back made itself known. It felt like there was a tube or something attached at the base of my spine.

“Can someone PLEASE tell me what the bloody hell is going on?” I snapped.

The monitor went a little haywire and the lab coat backed up a little.

Wesker, his usually silent self, walked to the bed and started unbuckling the straps. Both myself and the lab coat looked at him questioningly but for different reasons. When the straps were off the immediate need to use my legs was overwhelming. When I sat up the tube or whatever it was came free. Only it wasn’t tube. It was a tail and not a normal one. It matched my chocolate skin. It also was about two to three inches thick with a very sharp stinger-looking end.

I jumped up almost pulling the IV out of my arm. Wesker’s hand stopped me and removed the IV gently. He threw the IV line back on the bed. He stood off to the side. I took in the full view of the image of me in a hospital gown, with the tail that was about six to eight feet long.

I twirled around like an idiot trying to figure out how the hell it even got there. The lab coat coughed to get my attention. Wesker put his hand up towards him, in a way to tell him to wait.

I wasn’t entirely sure I wanted to know how the new appendage got there. The eyes were one thing. I turned back to the window and really looked at the shape and color. That’s when it hit me, like a ton of bricks.

“This! You did this!” I snapped whipping around.

The new tail had a mind of it own and it whipped out and almost stabbed Wesker in the chest. However, he was just as quick and caught it inches from his chest. Smiling slightly, he turned to the lab coat and nodded his head. I hadn’t a clue what that meant but the lab coat left the room.

Turning back to me, “This was not intentional.”

“What in the fuck else would it be?” I growled out.

I was trying, without success, to pull my tail out of his hand. He tightened his grip and yanked really hard. Pulling me into him. He let go my tail and wrapped his arms around me. Lowering one hand down to the base of my spine to grab the base of my tail slightly bending it inward. The pain that caused halted any further assaults on his person.

“You have to let me explain. Causing me pain doesn’t help, just puts you in more danger,” he whispered in my ear as he used his other hand to cradle my head into his shoulder.

I didn’t know what to do. I was at a crossroads between nuzzling against him and ripping him a new one. The weird part was I knew affection was not part of his skill set. That much I had been able to figure out.

A part of him called to something within me. I wasn’t sure what it was.

“What happened to me?” I asked softly.

His hand on my tail loosened and pulled me away from him slightly. His sunglasses hid his eyes. However, something told me I wasn’t about to get good news.

“Well, you remember our little one-night stand.” He started. “Well it seems that I wasn’t nearly as good at pulling out as I thought.”

I looked at him at as if he had lost his mind. I wasn’t entirely sure I understood what he was trying to tell me. The significance of what he said was lost on me, not because I didn’t understand. No, because I wasn’t sure how that tied into me growing a tail.

“Explain, please. There has to be more to this. I know I can get pregnant from that but that doesn’t explain the tail,” I said.

He let go of me and walked towards the counter. I didn’t follow. He picked up a tablet. I wanted to know but I hadn’t expected to see video proof of it.

“The following morning you didn’t wake up. You were sweating and breathing like your throat had closed up.” He handed me the tablet. “I quickly checked your body for signs of mutation. However, the mutation was going on inside.”

“You were hot to the touch and I had to dress you before I could bring you here. I had them sedate you. The tail started to snap and break the bones of your spine. Merging them together so your body was able to support the new weight. I knew the pain was something you wouldn’t be able to handle awake.”

“They strapped you to the bed more so to keep your tail from hurting you or anyone working on you. They took samples and ran tests. All confirming what I had already knew was happening. You’ve been infected. And it was my fault. I didn’t think seminal fluid would do this much damage.”

I hit the play icon of the tablet. The video started with me being brought in. Wesker was carrying me. He called for someone to get me a bed. Then when I was placed in the bed, I saw my body quake violently. I almost dropped the tablet.

It looked like something was ripping through every part of me. I saw my veins turn black under my skin and my skin was darkening. I could tell whatever was happening was more upsetting to Wesker at the time of the video. I actually heard his voice turn to a growl as he barked orders to save me. He seemed to almost lose control as they moved as quickly as they could to get IV line in and set things up to keep me alive.

Then I saw my body go still. I could see I was still breathing and had a heartbeat. However, my skin had started to returned to normal color. I could tell they hadn’t even put anything in my system yet. My veins returned to normal. I wasn’t sure what to make of this part of the video. Everyone stopped. Wesker whipped around to yell at them, but someone put their hand up to stop him.

They motioned to him to look at me. He edged close enough to see that I wasn’t dying. Then my body shifted. I lifted like a worm from the bed for a second. My heart rate went up again. There was a monitor I couldn’t see that someone was pointing to. Someone ordered me to be flipped onto my side. That’s when I saw what Wesker had mentioned earlier.

My spine was bending and breaking audibly. It made me wince watching my body act on its own. I watched as something was crawling through my skin into my spine. Like it was feeding something. My body was shaking again. Then the panic in the room went up when I flat lined, but I could see I was definitely still breathing.

Then everything went a little crazy. They all started doing things. They put my back on my back. They started the IV’s and the oxygen mask. One of them stated they couldn’t get my pulse. I knew that should mean I was dead. However, my heart jump started itself as they were about to use the defibrillator.

At this point I was more miffed than they were as to how any of this was possible. I should have turned into something by now. Yet, I was still human-looking. I was breathing. I was sweating. Wesker was off screen at this point in the video. I heard him yell for a full diagnostic on me.

Something else became apparent when I heard him say that. He had no clue what just happened it concerned him. I couldn’t tell if he could feel fear, but from the response of the lab coats in the room I could tell that something was very usual about what just occurred. They seemed to have never seen anything like this before. Not that that filled me with the warm and fuzzies about the whole situation.

The rest of the video was just them strapping me to the bed and occasional lab coats coming in to check on my condition. I wasn’t about to watch all of that. So, I pressed the screen and saw the time length at the bottom. I dragged it until I saw something poking out from the cloth that was covering me. The tail had taken almost 4 hours to break and reconstruct my spine to accommodate the new appendage.

That was when they also had come to check my vitals again. This time they opened my eyes and the person almost jumped out of his skin. He said for someone to call Wesker. It would seem that in the same time the tail was growing my eyes had shifted to the bright blue and my pupils changed shape. Wesker joined them as they walked back in. He raised an eyebrow. I rolled my eyes. He seemed calm. I couldn’t see if that was because I wasn’t dead or because now, he knew he hadn’t killed me with sex.

The video ended a few seconds later. I looked up at him and handed him the tablet back.

“It seems your DNA did something to the virus that wasn’t something we had encountered before,” he said taking the tablet and putting it back on the counter.

“Meaning what, exactly?” I asked.

“Meaning, that you’re very unique. We don’t know what exactly you are to honest. The tail was never something we have ever seen happen,” he said.

“You keep saying ‘we’. Who the bloody hell is ‘we’?” I asked.

“He would be talking about the Umbrella Corporation,” said a female voice.

I snapped around and saw a hologram of a little girl.

“Meet the Red Queen,” said Wesker, not the least bit surprised.

I wasn’t sure whether or not to slap him or freak out. The Red Queen then disappeared and reappeared next to Wesker. I wasn’t entirely sure I wanted to explore anything that involved a Corporation that seemed to responsible for the apocalypse. There had been rumors and now I knew that they were exactly what people had been too dumb to figure out.

I knew I needed to figure out what was going on. There was no way we were still in Washington anymore. Plus, there was a significant absence of the people I had seen before.

“What happened to the White House?” I asked.

There was a deliberate attempt to pretend he didn’t hear me. He turned towards the hologram girl and nodded. He picked up of the tablet. He started heading for the door.

“What happened in Washington?!” I snapped, my tail acting on my heightening aggression.

It whipped out and stabbed the floor a step from where Wesker would have been about to step. He stopped and turned back slightly, looking at me with a raised eyebrow.

“I am getting the hang of this,” I said more surprised that I aimed correctly.

I could tell he was debating whether or not to fight with me. A part of him called for it happen. I don’t know how I knew this, but I knew.

“What. Happened. In. Washington?” I asked again, pointedly.

He sighed and turned around to face me.

“The White House no longer exists,” he said.

I wasn’t sure what the hell that actually meant.

“What?” I asked.

He seemed really hesitant to answer the question fully.

“It was disposed of,” he said.

“You mean you blew it up?” I asked rather taken aback.

His silence only made me feel worse about what I had just asked. This wasn’t something I wanted to think about. The implication that he had killed everyone that I had just met. I would have yelled but I didn’t know what to say.

“Why didn’t you just leave me,” I asked, pulling my tail out of the floor.

He seemed rather surprised by the question and just stared at me for a moment.

“I wish I had an answer for that,” he said. “I don’t know. Maybe I felt more responsible for you than I did the others. Their fate was already decided but you hadn’t been there for that.”

I felt sick to my stomach. I was spared only because I was ‘fresh meat’ essentially. That because I had slept with him, I was, in his mind, a little more important than the other people at that current moment.

I realized I had jumped from one life and death situation to a completely new one. Only now I didn’t have a choice in the matter of my own body. I wasn’t human anymore. I didn’t want to be a monster. However, I had no idea what the hell to do about it now.

I shifted back to the bed and curled in on myself. I just started crying. I felt utterly defeated and alone. Again. I couldn’t save anyone, and they had been taken from me before I could even get to know them. I heard him walk towards me. My tail whipped out protectively or out of anger and slashed him on the cheek. He stopped. I think even he knew that I wasn’t in any mood to be consoled by him, of all people, monsters, whatever.

His footsteps went to the door and exited. Once alone an overwhelming agony consumed me. It wasn’t exactly physical, but more emotional. I was sad, angry, and generally unstable. I don’t know when I stopped crying or when I got off the bed. However, when I finally stopped seeing red, I was in the middle of a very destroyed room. The double-sided window was the only thing untouched.

The bed, monitors, everything was completely destroyed. I was breathing like I’d run 5 triathlons. I dropped to the floor, very exhausted. Also, very hungry. Another thought that now mad itself known: I had no idea what this new body’s diet would consist of. Eating anything that wasn’t normal made my stomach lurch and my head spin. At this point I hear the door open.

I was more surprised that I left that intact during my rampage. The lab coat seemed terrified to be in there at all at that moment.

“I won’t hurt you,” I said, holding up my hands as a peaceful gesture.

He seemed more terrified by that. I look at my hands and realized I had grown talons. Very sharp, dangerous looking talons. I put them behind my back and found the strength to create a safe amount of distance from him while they unknowingly receded to my normal nails.

The feeling of being feared was not something I had ever experienced before. I didn’t like it and didn’t plan on getting used to it. Wesker was going to pay for this. I just had to figure out how.

Then the hologram girl showed up again, “Project Raven, we have new room set up for you. Please follow me.”

‘Project’, I thought, sighing.

I closed my eyes in frustration as I went the long way around the room to the door. I followed the Red Queen through maze of hallways to a simple furnished flat. There was a bed and other necessary items. Also, I saw a neatly folded pile of clothing.

“This will be your new home while you’re here. Feel free to make any request for room modifications you need,” said Red Queen before abruptly disappearing.

I went for the clothing first. I picked them up and headed to the shower unit that was along the adjacent wall to the bed. It was separated by a wall from the rest of the room. I assume they wanted me to get the illusion of privacy out of my head. I started the shower and set the clothes off to the side on the small side table. I tore off the hospital gown. The hot spray almost instantly made me feel better. My new muscles were sore and tired. The hot water was exactly what I needed. I quickly dried off and examined my new clothing.

They had chosen a deep blue long sleeve almost spandex-like crop top. The top accentuated the DD’s that I was graced with. I rolled my eyes. The entire middle section where my cleavage would be normally be covered was missing. The pants were even less appealing. They were similar in material, but black and had a small ‘v’ in the rear to accommodate my new appendage. They were like leggings. I sighed. I wasn’t about to complain about this. I was now their “property”.

I started to put the clothing on and heard the door open. I could sense exactly who it was. Wesker walked into the center of the room and stopped. Pretending to wait for me to finish dressing.

“I see you had some design input on my outfit,” I said walking back to the bed.

I seemed to missing shoes. I checked under the bed to find wedge-heel ankle boots. The heel was at least five to six inches. I put on the soft black socks that were inside them and slipped them on. Keeping my back turned to him on purpose. I could tell he was looking at my ass, but I made it look as if that was unintentional.

“I think I have some explaining to do,” he said as I stood.

“Loads,” I said, plopping on the bed and laying back.

I had a feeling he would try a seduction tactic. It could smell a scent, a hormonal one, coming off him. My tail flicked out and stopped inches from his face. I wasn’t not in the mood for that shit right now.

“Are you denying that you enjoyed it as much as I did? Or keeping me from trying it again?” he remarked.

“Both,” I said.

I wasn’t going to give him the satisfaction of reminding me of my first taste of extreme pleasure. Not after what he had known was going to happen to everyone else.

There was a table in the center of the room, and he sat down in one of the chairs. I sat up and decided to test my own mental and sexual patience. I walked over to the table and sat down across from him.

“The plan was my effort to kill Alice for the last time,” he said.

“Do I want to know why?” I asked.

“Probably not,” he answered.

“Alice doesn’t seem all that important. Plus, you had a whole organization working for you,” I said. “I don’t see why you still didn’t just leave me.”

He was silent for a moment before readjusting himself to lean forward with his elbows on his knees and his chin in his hands.

“Alice, like you, bonded with the virus. She gained regenerative abilities, strength, and agility. She went against the corporation and was trying to expose us. However, by the time that was figured out things had gotten out of hand.” he said.

“Virus?” I asked.

“I should have backed up a bit. The Umbrella Corporation was experimenting with a virus that had bioweapon capability. Alice and another agent were in charge of security at the facility at Raccoon City. However, it was found that she was leaking information about the deadliness of the virus.”

“A team was sent to secure the facility, however none of them made it out. Alice and one other person, who had been a partner to the mole that Alice was in contact with, made it out. So, they infected her and the other person with virus after the first outbreak at the facility went into lockdown and she was caught as they were leaving the house above the facility. They had successfully kept the virus from reaching the public. However, a curious researcher made the mistake of reopening the facility and releasing the creatures that the virus had infected and lab experiments from the facility into the populace.”

“So, someone was dumb enough to open the the place back up,” I said.

I remember being in college years ago when this all just started. It was a conspiracy theorist dream when they saw the videos. It took a short amount of time to spread across the world. They were the cause of this apocalypse. Now I was a fortunate accident. Another person to poke at with the deadly virus coursing through them that was not technically dead. I was a living anomaly.

“That released the virus into the public space. It being adaptive. It spread very quickly,” he said.

“Fast forward to now. Alice probably didn’t appreciate the original idiots. Plus, her inside knowledge made her smart enough to be one of the few who could use the abilities they gave her to fight back,” I said. “And now they want her dead.”

He nodded. I sat back in my chair, then standing up and walking to the counter not far from the table. The fact that Alice was dead along with tons of others bothered me. I couldn’t wrap my head around the simple fact that I was spared because he wanted to keep me close to him. That actually reminded me of the small but large detail I forgot to mention about our little lovemaking session.

“Did you know about me when you kissed me that night?” I asked.

I knew he didn’t, but I didn’t want to admit it until I was forced to.

“Know what about you? What do you mean?” he asked generally confused.

“Interesting,” I said.

I heard him stand and come to a stop about three feet behind me.

“Is there something I needed to know about that night that you failed to mention?” he asked.

“Well, I figured guys had more of a radar for that stuff,” I said stupidly.

This was more embarrassing now that I wasn’t human and because he wasn’t a premium choice of male as far as mural compasses was concerned. He was silent for second. I could almost feel him thinking. He chuckled lightly. And reached for a strand of my black hair, twirling it around his finger.

“No wonder you exceptionally tight,” he remarked.

I knew he was smiling. I was not about to turn around and face him. I knew my poker face wasn’t that strong. I just stood there waiting to what his next move would. Why would my only lapse in judgement put me in the middle of this...shit storm?

I was now the property of a murderous company who plays with deadly viruses. A current strain of the virus that was now firmly attached to my genetic code. I felt Wesker close the gap between us. My tail moved instinctually into his view. I wasn’t sure I wanted to continue this ‘relationship’. I had known him for less than a day and then slept with him.

Now, however many days later, lots of people were dead by his hand and he wanted me. Why? It was a question that rang through my head like a huge cathedral bell. Why was I his vice?

“This isn’t what I want, Wesker,” I finally said after a few long moments of silence.

“And what exactly do you want?” he asked, still playing with my hair.

He found any excuse, one being my hair, to gently touch my exposed skin.

I turned around, moving my tail out of view.

“I want you to be honest with me,” I said. “And I am not going to be a plaything. Period.”

I wasn’t entirely sure what face I was wearing but he seemed to understand what I was referring to.

“You’re going to make me work for it, aren’t you?” he asked with a heavy sigh.

I could only nod before I used my tail to push him out of the way gently. The stinger on the end of it looked like it could do a lot of damage if I wasn’t extremely careful. I walked away from him to the bed. I don’t know why but I felt extremely tired again. I plopped down on it.

“If your trying to turn me into a good man, I’m not sure I can be that. However, stranger things have happened. So, I’ll adhere to your request, where I can,” he said as he exited my room.

I took off my shoes. I had intended to explore but sleep was winning the current battle for dominance in my body. I bundled myself under the blanket and went to sleep. My dreams weren’t calm. I dreamed about losing control of whatever was now a part of me. I saw the level of destruction that it caused and that made the madness within me spiral out of control.

To be continued...

Part 3

#albert wesker #fanfic #resident evil #part2

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thestuckylibrary · 5 years ago

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Group Ask 132

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Please send us an ask stating which group ask and which person you are replying to. Thank you so much in advance!

Anon 1 said:

hey!!! ok so this is SUPER vague but it was a oneshot i read back in 2016/early 2017 and it was something like the avengers travelling through steves memories or something???? I'm not sure if the memories were bucky related because i remember at the end bucky is there????? sorry for how vague this is but it might be post cacw and vision might be involved but if u can't find this no worries!!!!!

orchidsrule sent in Mindstones and Other Malfunctions* by HunterPeverell (complete | 21,025 | E) *rape/noncon, heed the tags

Anon 2 said:

hey where’s that fic where ppl dig up bucky and think he’s steve?

Anon, abarbaricyalp, dragonflybeach and gwydions sent in Seven times Steve Rogers was not what everyone expected him to be (+1 time he really, really wasn't what everyone expected him to be) by StuckySituation (complete | 3,515 | T)

buckysxmetalxarm said:

Hi, sorry, I tried looking through ao3 tags searching a/b/o, omega!steve alpha!bucky, mpreg but I don't remember enough bout the fic to find it :/ I kno it’s a/b/o & Steve‘s an Omega and he’s pregnant, (was since before the ice but didn’t know it) & the Winter Soldier is really attracted to his scent & Steve doesn't know why cause other Alphas shouldn't like the smell of pregnant Omegas that aren't theirs but like it is Bucky's so he likes it? That's all I remember? Sorry & thank you in advance!

Anon 3 said:

Hey a few years ago I read a long ass stucky fic. The author used “real” events from the mcu but added much more detail. Eg they wrote missions w the howling commando etc. back then it wasn’t completed and somehow lost is. In a chapter where Steve was on his first (?) mission (the one where he was looking for buck) and Came back with Bucky. During that time they already made some experiments w Buck and he was starting to feel weird while staying in a tent w Cap?? I was wondering if you know which one I mean and if yes is it still up?? What’s it called??

Anon 4 said:

I'm having a hard time finding this fic- I think it was a pwp where Bucky like accidentally Pavlov'd Steve into getting hard every time he put his hair up? Does anyone know what I'm talking about asdfghjkl

getstucky and Anon sent in Classical Conditioning by johnboyegabombs (oneshot | 424 | M)

Anon sent in knee jerk by mcwho (oneshot | 530 | M)

deep-dark-purple said: (sex work)

Trying to find a College/Dom!Steve/Sub!Bucky/prostitute!Bucky/John!SteveAU that Ive lost & Ive had no luck Bucky is hustling through college(TJ era)and Steve(big/older)is going back & they meet in science class/go to group study sessions I think & then catch feelings Meanwhile theres a lot of rope tying(Steve took classes to do)& a scene I remember vividly is where Bucky comes but Steve purposely makes it so Bucky doesnt get the release of it though Bucky says something like You ruined it & sobs

Anon sent in Ain't No Rest for the Wicked* by Kellyscams (complete | 305,786 | E) */others, sex work, alcohol

Anon 5 said:

Could you help me with this particular fic that happened after Civil War it's basically Steve taking Bucky to an isolated place while getting rid of Bucky's winter soldier activation code-- Steve gets hurt a lot before he finally made it through the entire code without Bucky going violent. Thanks!

Anon sent in après nous le déluge by tomorrowsrain (complete | 9,257 | T )

Anon 6 said:

I’ve been looking for this fic for ages - modern times but canon compliant up until tws. I think the fic is post-tws. Bucky finds a pregnant cat (or cat with kittens?) and keeps it. He then later on gives each kitten to an avenger and, i believe, keeps momma cat. I’m not sure how stucky centric it is

sweet-nightingale-96 said:

Hi, I was wondering if you can help me find a fic. In this fic Bucky has escaped hydra before Steve wakes up. Bucky has no memories of his time in Hydra, but he is there when Steve becomes an Avenger. I believe the story was called The Red Star, or something like that. But I’m not sure. I do remember it retelling the movies from Avengers (2012) and onward with Bucky in it, if that helps?

Anon 7 said:

hi there was this one fix where Steve and Bucky were fwb in the 40s and Steve confessed to Bucky he shot Steve down thinking he was protecting him and fast forward to the present where Bucky doesn't remember what he did to Steve only that they were intimate

princessniitza sent in chapter 10 of Ain’t No Grave (Can Keep My Body Down)* by spitandvinegar (restricted, complete | 107,076 | M) *past rape/noncon, heed the tags

Anon 8 said:

I'm looking for a fic where bucky moves in with Steve who's a retired captain and the entire fic they're learning how to be roomies while also pining and at one point bucky is in a bathtub full of kittens and i can't remember the title for the life of me. Any thoughts?

bennettmp339, teenagemutantninjamushroom and therandomravenclw sent in Critical Feline Mass by Kryptaria, rayvanfox (complete | 39,533 | T)

Anon 9 said:

Hi! Ive gone deep In my ao3 history and in your post caws tag and I just can’t seem to find this fic I’m looking for. I just can’t recall the fic description. What I remember from it is Bucky sneaking into the avengers tower & only Steve knows for a while and Bucky always gets high on Steve’s Tranquilizer lollipops. At the end Bucky confesses he’s loved Steve the whole time & Steve gets upset & beats up punching bags. This has been a week long search & I hope it’s findable!

bennettmp339, teenagemutantninjamushroom and ice-whisper sent in Sparked Up Like a Book of Matches by Sena (oneshot | 26,734 | M)

tygerblaze said:

It was Stucky, where Tony sees Bucky undergo the chair torture by General Ross. Decides, I’m gonnna break him out, cause no one deserves that. He calls Steve from the road while Bucky is recovering in the car, it becomes a slight road trip and Bucky becomes friends with Tony. Not sure if it’s post civil war or post tws.

Anon, itsagentromanoff, dragonflybeach and getstucky sent in i need a forest fire by tomorrowsrain (complete | 65,815 | T)

Anon 10 said: (sex work)

I'm dying- I can't find this fic and I don't remember a whole lot. I think Steve was a small dom and had Bucky as a client (I think?) and they were trying like binding (?) and Bucky safeworded and left in a panic and it led to Steve dropping. Bucky came back and was like "?? is this top drop are you dropping" and Steve was like "yeah" and I can't remember anything after that lmao I could've sworn one of the tags was topdrop but I couldn't find it and I... need help ty <3

time-lord-no-more, Anon, lesbianhozier and princessniitza sent in we are the things that we do for fun* by Nonymos (complete | 35,585 | E) *sex work

Anon 11 said: (rape/noncon)

Hi, I`m searching for a fic it was from Ao3. Bucky and Steve had a relationship before. The Winter Soldier is brought back to the tower. At some point he is in a room together with Steve. The other looking at them via cameras. The WS has manipulated the look at the door so Steve can´t get out of the room an the others can´t get in. The WS/Bucky forces himself on Steve, who doesn´t fight back, because Steve thinks when Bucky is totally himself again he would be terrified of his actions otherwise.

Anon sent in Even When I Had Nothing* by AnnaFugazzi (complete | 57,457 | unrated) *cw noncon ; extremely dark themes ; extreme angst ; abusive relationship

#group asks

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queenfredegund · 5 years ago

Text

The Quest for Fredegund [1]

So folks, welcome to a long post that I would dedicate to the wonderfull regina Fredegund. I’m aware that there is already a large part of fiction and biographies which have been made on her (at least in french, not sure for the english part), but all of that is actually quite of lame and/or false on many assumptions. Truth is that Fredegund is a member of a large group of misogynistic historical characters and that she is often made used for depicting some weird fantasies for historians.

She is the evil pagan witch, the murderous, the bloodthirsty woman who wraps men around her finger and made use of violence to reach her goals. She is also a voracious sexual monster, using lovers again and again. She kills, she burns, she steals, and even makes her stepdaughter gang-raped for her own revenge.

She is the DEVIL!

Drawing by Alessia de Vincenzi for the comics Fredegund, the Bloodthirsty

But, you know what, folks? I came to become very cautious with years: when a man tells me “here, this is a vicious woman” and when an mid-50yo lady takes the man’s statement litteraly and explains to me why that same woman was vicious, gives her reasons to do that and finally claims that she was right to do all these things (you know, the murders, the gang-rape...), I kinda want to search on my own and see by my eyes only.

So, let’s go on a quest, the Quest for Fredegund. All my sources will be referenced, with links when I can (for example, I have the Fredegar’s Chronica only in scans on my PC). Most of the original texts are also on the MGH, the Monumenta Germaniae Historica.

Here are some of the sources where you can find informations on her:

Gregorius Turonensis, Decem Libri Historiarum

Fredegar, Chronica

Venantius Fortunatus, Carmina

So... let’s begin!

What do we really know about Fredegund?

Truth is, not so much after all. At least, not so much about her personal background. For people who are not yet accustomed with her:

She is the third chief wife of King (but I prefer using the word “rex”) Chilperich I, one of the three leaders of the Gauls in the second half of the 6th century.

Her birth is unknown, and she died in 597 as the mother of Chilperich’s successor, Chlothacar II.

She gave birth to 6 children in total, including 5 sons, which means she’s actually one of the reginae who had the most children known during the period. Their names are:

Chlodobert († 580)

Rigund († ?)

Samson († 577)

Dagobert († 580)

Theodorich († 583)

Chlothacar II († 629)

There is actually no representation of her and no description of her looks, but people assume very often that she was a beauty and made her a bloody sex-symbol of the Early Middle Ages (yikes...)

When does Fredegund appear for the first time?

The first mention of Fredegund that we have is actually a short mention in Gregorius of Tours’ chronicle, Decem Libri Historiarum (aka History of the Franks).

In DLH, IV, 28 (x), Gregorius described how in 567 Chilperich got engaged to Galswintha, daughter of Athanagild and, in order to gain her hand, had to dismiss all his “ uxores / wives”.

King Chilperic sent to ask for the hand of Galswinth, the sister of Brunhild, although he already had a number of wives. He told the messengers to say that he promised to dismiss all the others, if only he were considered worthy of marrying a King’s daughter of a rank equal to his own.

Still no mention of Fredegund at that moment, just that Chilperich had a certain amont of unnamed women around him. The only who appeared of the whole is Audovera, mother of 4 children, including 3 sons, Theodebert, Merovech and Chlodovech.

Chilperic had three sons by one of his earlier consorts, Audovera: these were Theudebert, about whom I have told you already, Merovech and Clovis.

The first time she is named is later on the text: at that moment, Chilperich got married with Galswintha, but their relationship tend to became difficult months passing, and Gregorius implied that it was because of the presence of Fredegund.

A great quarrel soon ensued between the two of them, however, because he also loved Fredegund, whom he had married before he married Galswinth.

Fredegund is so introduced as a precedent concubine/wife of the rex (depend of the people and how they see her actually). None is said about her life before that year 567/568, apart that Chilperich seems really infatuated to her.

So, was Fredegund really a slave?

Technically, yes and no. Yes, because we have some hints that could lead us to think of it, and no because finally it’s just hints and not reals informations.

First mention is: in DLH, IX, 34 (x), Fredegund had according to Gregorius of Tours a big quarrel with her daughter Rigund and as they were arguing against each other, Rigund threathened her mother to “servitio redeberit / revert to her original rank of serving-woman”

Rigunth, Chilperic’s daughter, was always attacking her mother (Fredegund), and saying that she herself was the real mistress, whereas her mother ought to revert to her original rank of serving-woman. She would often insult her mother to her face, and they frequently exchanged slaps and punches.

Second mention is actually a mention in a later-one abbey’s chronicle, called The Chronicle of Saint-Vaast of Arras (x), in which the author says that Fredegund was born in this place (Angicourt, in the Oise department) and that her parents belong to the villa, and so were perhaps slaves.

Haec ex territorio Belvacensi nata est de familia atque sancti Vedasti villa Vunguscurht, quam, ut praetulimus, Lotharius rex dederat nostro patrono.

But that mention should be taken with precaution as the chronicle was written during the 11th century and as religious chronicles are often full of false stories and approximations: the meaning behind the redaction is not to write facts, but to justify of the longevity of a foundation and of its links with well-known protectors, and the most ancient, the better for that!

Third mention: in the Liber Historiae Francorum, a major compilation of the Decem Libri Historiae, the Fredegar’s Chronica and some made-up characters and facts, Fredegund is introduced as “ex familia infima” (LHF, 31), and, most important, as the maid of Audovera, first chief wife of Chilperich.

That’s in fact all of we know. It is also true that Fredegund did not seem to have any significant relatives, father, brother, even uncle... but it was also the same for several others reginae, so I’m not convinced that it could means something about her social background.

Now, if we talk about fiction and theories, I really like the possibility that she may have been a slave, and if you ask me to write a fictional story about her, my favorite theory would be that she was a weaver slave, some kind of skilled embroiderer girl before becoming a concubine of the rex, but it’s just FICTION, not FACTS.

Last thing about that matter, scholars often think down of her background because of her name:

“Fredegund” is composed of the terms Fried / “peace” | Gund / “war”, meaning litteraly “war and peace”, which sounds funny to scholars.

Still during the 6th century, Franks had the habit to create names for children by mixing parts of the parents’ names (e.g. in Rigund : Rich from ChilpeRICH and Gund from FredeGUND), so the theory is that she was born from low-rank, perhaps slaves, parents who were not aware of the subtility of such creation and so created a strange name for their daughter... (I guess these scholars never heard of a name like “North West”, that must be it...)

But, was not Fredegund Audovera’s maid/servant?

Most historians and writers indeed say that Fredegund was actually Audovera’s maid before her own elevation as mother of Chilperich’s children and chief wife. But as we had seen it before (DLH, IV, 28), none of the sources say that: Fredegund is only said to be "married [to Chilperich] before he married Galswinth” and Audovera is designated as “one of his earlier consorts” even not the only one.

So where does that story come from? Once again, from the Liber Historiae Francorum... In LHF, 31, the unnamed author tells a story about how Audovera have been evicted from the royal palace, based only on Fredegund’s trickery. Alone and pregnant while her husband was away at war, Audovera just had given birth to a little girl that she named Childesinda, or for some autors Basina.

On Fredegund’s suggestion, a baptism was prepared before the return of the father, but at the beginning of the ceremony, the lady who would have been the godmother of the princess was still missing. She so persuaded her mistress Audovera to hold herself her infant daughter, whithout saying to her that by doing that, she would become de facto the godmother of her own daughter. However, a canon law strictly forbidding marriage between parents and godparents, Audovera was convicted of incest and kicked from the palace.

The problem with this whole story is not only that it is a complete invention, written long time after the real events, but most importantly, that the taboo forbidding marriages with godparents was in fact officially voted in the Council in Trullo, held in 692, which means 130 years after Fredegund and Audovera possible hostility! But because this is an undeniable dramatic storyline, writers and historians are really unwilling to abandon it and continue to spread it...

[Part 1] [Part 2] [Part 3]

#women in history #quest for fredegund #fredegund regina #merovingian period #6th century

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rena-rain · 6 years ago

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The Shortcut Home ch. 1

I totally forgot to post this on tumblr! It’s also posted on my AO3 under rainforestgeek.

“Marinette!” Alya wrapped her roommate in her arms as soon as she came through the door. “Are you okay? Are you still feeling sick?”

Marinette nodded. She’d been having dinner at her parents’ house, but was hardly there for fifteen minutes before she vomited in the kitchen sink. The smells emanating from the dining table had sent her stomach into a mutinous upheaval even though she normally loved her parents’ cooking. They’d wanted her to stay to take care of her, but settled for escorting her back to her and Alya’s apartment. “Just a little nauseous. Did you get my text?”

Alya pulled away and handed her a paper bag. “I got you three just in case. You know I have to grill you about this, right?”

“I’d expect nothing less,” Marinette sighed. “Just please get me something to drink first.”

Ten minutes later, Marinette poured herself her second glass of orange juice while Alya sat frozen on the couch.

“You’ve been sleeping. With Adrien.”

“Yes.”

“Adrien Agreste has been having sex with you. And you didn’t tell me?”

“We’re not together, Alya.”

“That’s what I don’t get. I never took that boy to be a fuck buddies type.”

Marinette cringed at the term. Yes, she and Adrien were having sex alongside their platonic relationship. But it sounded too crass. Too casual for their close relationship, lack of romance aside.

She got up. “I need to pee.”

“Don’t forget the tests!”

“Okay, but this one says it’s negative?”

Alya rubbed her back. “False negatives happen, Mari. False positives don’t. These two are positive you’ve got a mini-Agreste in your belly.”

Marinette groaned and left the bathroom. She flopped face-down onto the couch. “How – ”

“If you say ‘how did this happen’ I’ll smack you with this pillow.”

“Alya, how am I going to tell Adrien?”

Alya sat down, Marinette flipping over to rest her head on her best friend’s lap. Alya stroked her silky black hair contemplatively. “Let’s take this one thing at a time. When was the first day of your last period.”

Marinette counted in her head. “Nine weeks and five days ago.”

“Okay. Do you want to have a baby? Because you have two weeks to decide.”

Marinette’s immediate thought was yes. She’d always wanted children and now she had the chance to have Adrien’s child. Her infatuation may have died down over the years, but no matter what, she did love him.

But was she prepared to be a single mother? She and Alya had to share an apartment just to avoid living paycheck to paycheck. Marinette’s savings weren’t impressive, and that’s money she’d been saving to open her own boutique someday. Yes, she wanted kids, but this was risking her dream career. She still had plenty of time to have children.

She peered up at Alya. “I don’t know if I’m ready. Do you think I would make a good mom?”

Alya grinned at her. “Girl, you’d be an amazing mom. Nobody’s ever ready for a baby, that doesn’t mean you’d be a bad parent. But it is your decision and you have no obligation to tell Adrien before you make it.”

“I think I need a few days to think about it. God, I wish I could have some wine.”

“I could drink two glasses tonight if it makes you feel better.”

Marinette laughed. “That actually makes it worse.”

Nino met his girlfriend at their favorite café. The weather was nice, the sun out and only slightly chilly. He greeted her with a kiss and sat down across from her.

“Babe, I just wanna start out with saying I wasn’t doing anything weird. I accidentally kicked the trash can over.”

“Why would I think that’s weird? It was an accident right?”

“Yes, totally, 100%! So I did not mean to look at anything private, I was just cleaning it up, and…”

Alya touched her boyfriend’s cheek. “Nino, what’s going on?”

“Are you pregnant?” he blurted. Both of their eyes went wide. Nino rushed, “I swear I’m not trying to corner you or anything! I saw a couple positive tests when I was cleaning up the trash in your bathroom, and I couldn’t not tell you that I saw them, so…are you pregnant?”

Alya sighed and looked around the café. She leaned close and lowered her voice. “I’m not pregnant. Now I need you to promise me you’ll keep this under your hat. The tests weren’t mine.”

Nino gasped. Alya dove to put both hands over his mouth, accidentally knocking over a glass of water. “Ugh! Dang it. You don’t say a word or make a sound, okay? Marinette’s not ready to tell anybody yet and I don’t even know if she’s keeping it so you’re sworn to silence.”

Nino helped Alya mop up the water with a pile of napkins. “Of course, I’d never betray her like that. Just gotta, like, process for a minute.”

The waiter came out to take their order, effectively ending the conversation.

A knock came from the front door. Adrien told Plagg to hide before opening it to reveal a very anxious-looking Marinette. Her eyes darted to and away from his face rapid-fire, and she fiddled with her purse’s shoulder strap. “Marinette? Are you all right?”

“I – ” Her voice broke. She took a shuddering breath. “I wasn’t sure if I should tell you or if I wanted to tell you but I haven’t decided anything yet, I really need to talk to somebody and I want to talk to you – this is big, but I need to talk to you as my friend right now.”

Adrien took her hand and coaxed her inside, closing the door behind her. He pulled her into a hug. She buried her face in his neck, clinging to him tight, so he hitched both arms around her back to bring her as close as possible. He felt like he was absorbing her anxiety like a sponge, making his own blood jitter along with her. “Whatever it is, it’s okay. I’m here for you.”

Marinette lifted her lips to his ear. She murmured two soft words to him.

He froze for a moment. They were still hugging, so hopefully she didn’t notice his shock. Adrien gathered himself, gently untangled their limbs, and held her face to look in her eyes. “Why don’t you go sit down, okay? I’ll make us some tea.”

She nodded. He went to the kitchen and filled up the water heater. While he waited for it to boil, he leaned against the fridge, trying to figure out what he was supposed to do.

Marinette was pregnant. He’d gotten her pregnant. She was probably here to talk about whether or not to stay pregnant. Oh god, his father was going to kill him.

Hold your horses there, kid, he told himself in a mental voice that sounded alarmingly like Plagg. Gabriel doesn’t have to know if she decides not to keep it.

Adrien pushed the thought aside. His father didn’t matter right now; he’d burn that bridge when he got to it. Right now, his pregnant friend needed his support.

And her tea, he realized when he heard the water heater beeping. Adrien prepared and poured two steaming mugs and reminded himself that while he was culpable in creating this situation, Marinette had a lot more at stake here.

When he came back to the living room, Marinette had a ball of yarn out and was crocheting in the round. He was glad she’d brought something to do with her hands. It seemed to help keep her nerves in check. She set the project aside when he handed her the cup and took a sip. Adrien sat down on the couch next to her.

They drank in silence for a minute, neither sure how to broach the subject.

Finally, Adrien gathered his nerve. “So, how long have you known?”

“Four days. I’m about ten weeks along.”

“Okay. You…you said you wanted to talk about it?”

She puffed out a sigh through her teeth. “I’ve been trying to decide if I should keep it or abort it. I tried talking to Alya about it, but she’s so stuck on not influencing my choice that she just refuses to give any advice. But I need to talk through it.”

Adrien drank a hot sip of tea, letting himself think. “Thank you for trusting me. Let’s start with what you’ve been thinking. Feel free to word vomit.”

And word vomit she did. Marinette babbled about her career, her body changing, not being ready to take care of a kid, the money she didn’t have, the fact she wasn’t married – all in no particular order. Her stream of consciousness sentences ran together, making Adrien focus hard on keeping track of what she said.

Once she’d run out of breath, he asked the question she hadn’t addressed at all.

“Do you have any ethical issues with terminating the pregnancy?”

Marinette furrowed her brows. “Do you?”

“That’s not what I asked.” Adrien didn’t love the idea, but he’d thought a lot about what it’d be like to grow a human inside him and then push it out of his ass, so yeah, he figured it was okay to say no to anything or anyone using your body as a house-slash-IV bag.

(Plagg says he’s too morbidly curious for his own good. Plagg doesn’t get to judge, he’s a cat and once caused a mass extinction.)

Marinette looked him straight in the eye. “No, I don’t.”

Adrien chose his next words carefully. “If money and single parenthood are your main concerns, you’re not alone. I’m here, I have a good job, and a trust fund that’s just gathering dust. Only if you want to. Whichever you decide, I’m all in.”

He took her free hand. “We’re a team. I promise.”

The words rang jarringly in both of their ears with a familiarity that didn’t belong in this context.

She smiled at him. “That was quite a speech.”

“Yeah, that came out cornier than I intended. I meant it, though.”

“What are you trying to say, Adrien?”

“I’m saying it’s not a matter of what we can do. It’s about what you want to do. You don’t have to give up your dreams for this.” He gazed at Marinette’s face, wished he could read her better. “Do you feel ready for a kid?”

“I feel scared,” she said quietly.

“Me, too.”

“But I…I think I want to. But only if you commit to being a dad.”

Adrien’s heart pounded. “Like I said, Marinette, I’m all in.”

She nodded and stood, wrapping up her yarn and putting it in her bag. “I don’t think I should decide tonight. I’ll tell you by the end of the day tomorrow.”

He stood as well to see her out. “Good idea. Sleep on it, take your time. I’ll just be here freaking out where you can’t see me.”

Marinette let out a little laugh. Her eyes crinkled adorably. “Thank you, for talking with me. And for the tea.”

“Do you want to stay over?” Adrien wasn’t sure what possessed him to ask that without thinking. Was that inappropriate? Did their relationship change after she got pregnant? Did she think he meant he wanted to have sex? Was it okay to ask your pregnant friend with benefits to sleep over after an emotionally draining conversation? Okay, come to think of it, that does sound kind of suspect.

“I’m too nauseated to fool around tonight.”

He shrugged. “Doesn’t mean you can’t stay over.”

Marinette gave him a long, searching look. He wondered what she was looking for. He wondered if it was there. “I should go back to my apartment. Where my pajamas and toothbrush are. Goodnight, Adrien.”

They both ignored the fact that he kept a toothbrush for her here anyway, and she’d slept in his clothes more than once.

Plagg was being insufferable. “Baker girl’s got a bun in the oven!”

“You’re not funny, Plagg.”

“Screw you, I’m hilarious. It’s not my fault you decided to mix your milk with her eggs.”

Adrien groaned. “You’re really not funny, Plagg.”

Marinette fiddled with a lock of hair while the dial tone sounded in her ear.

“Mari?”

“I’m going to have the baby.” All at once. Ripped off the bandage. Besides, Adrien had to know why she was calling him, and he was surprisingly okay with when she cut past the pleasantries.

There was a pause. “Okay. I should tell my father soon.”

“My parents, too. Maybe we should have those conversations alone, so my mom and dad don’t grill you about not being in a relationship.

“Am I a dead man?”

“I’ll throw my body in front of yours. It’ll be better than a bullet-proof vest.”

“Is it too much to ask you to tell my father with me? I know he’ll stay calm, just…”

“Cold,” Marinette finished. She should’ve known Adrien would want emotional support when he told his dad he was about to become a young, unmarried parent. “Of course I can. Just tell me when.”

“Thanks. Have you gotten a doctor’s appointment yet?”

Marinette rolled her eyes. She was looking at six to seven more months of this fretting.

Chapter 2

Ko-fi

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hellospunkiebrewster · 5 years ago

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This may be an odd ask, but I feel like you know a lot about Regency England and might be the best person to ask. How believable is it that Ernest is as good a lover as PB wants us to believe? We know he was married for at least a year and thought he was in love with Roselyn. Would their time together be enough? I'm assuming she was the only one he was with before the MC. Or is PB just catering to us with their narration? Feel free to include other LIs and / or historical facts!

As someone’s who’s talked about Regency Era periods and contraception, this ask really isn’t all that weird to me. This was an era of fewer petticoats, sheerer fabrics, and dampening your skirt so that a man might see the lady’s form underneath it. So let’s talk about what people thought about sex at the time, what they actually did, and what they knew about the mechanics of sex after the cut.

So, the Georgian and Regency Eras are sandwiched between the much more conservative Puritan and Victorian Eras. People had a comparatively liberal attitude towards sex after the repression of the previous era. Premarital sex was on the rise. Men who were attracted to men were able to go to molly houses to meet up with other men who shared their sexuality. These places even hosted drag events. Sex workers published memoirs. One of these ladies of the night touted that she’d slept with 100 men in a single week. George III’s brother was sued for sleeping with a Countess and George IV actually cried on his wedding day because he didn’t want to get rid of his mistress. The Duke of Devonshire lived with not only his wife but also his mistress and his illegitimate children were raised alongside his heirs in the nursery. This era is home to the scandal of Percy Shelley and Mary Godwin running away to Switzerland. Folk songs were often more racy and salacious than some of the content we have now.

So now that we’ve got an idea on how Regency and Georgian people thought about sex, how much sex were proper gentlemen and ladies actually having?

High society was very much structured around the conjugal family: a man, a woman, and their children. Men would teach their sons the family business or how their estate is run and ladies would raise their daughter to be marketable, accomplished young ladies so that they might experience the same or more success than their parents. However, once members of the aristocracy married, they often were unfaithful. Quick marriages for the benefit of an individual’s bank accounts were to blame as the goal of anyone looking to get married in the ton was firstly advancing themselves. Marrying for love often wasn’t a luxury a member of high society would have.

As for Ernest, what might an individual man think of sex at this time? I think it’s quite likely someone as proprietous as Mr. Sinclaire likely hadn’t had much sex prior to his first marriage, if any. This is not so much a product of the era, as there were definitely the means (30-40% of brides were pregnant walking down the aisle, and 25% of children we born out of wedlock), but of his personality. He is quiet, reserved, and has difficulty connecting with others. However, with him being the only surviving member of his family, since his parents were taken from him so early and he was an only child, the pressure was likely on from the moment he proposed to Roselyn to get a baby in her.

So having a baby means having sex right? But just plain having sex doesn’t mean you’re good at it. You know, that whole quality vs quantity thing. This is where our apparent ignorance at how exactly our bodies worked comes into play. Mr. Sinclaire and the rest of our Regency heroes did not know how babies were made. They understood it was a collaborative effort, but they didn’t know what went on inside the woman that caused her to get pregnant. Therefore it was surmised that if a man needed to orgasm to release what was required to have a child, so did a woman. Let that sink in, female orgasm was thought to be essential to conception. Ernest has no heir and it’s been ingrained in him that he needs to pass Ledford on. That man is trying hard to have a baby.

I also have a bit of a headcanon where Ernest hit rock bottom after Roselyn’s betrayal and death. This coupled with having to see the man who took what Ernest thought was his future from him brought some complicated and less than desirable qualities from Mr. Sinclaire. He withdraws from society even more than before and attempts to find solace in the arms of women in cathouses, some in less savory parts of London. One night as he’s dressing to leave and stumble home, a child enters the room looking for his mother and Ernest realizes what he’s doing here has the potential to affect so many more lives than just his. From then on he only visits these places to bring supplies. In my head, Ernest has been with more than just Roselyn.

#asks #anons #desire and decorum #historical nitpicks

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watchmegetobsessed · 6 years ago

Text

Shawn Mendes // Boundaries Part 14

part 14 is here! i’ll start working fulltime on boundaries to finish it finally, i already have another short series almost ready to be posted, so excited about it!!

Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4 - Part 5 - Part 6 - Part 7 - Part 8 - Part 9 - Part 10 - Part 11 - Part 12 - Part 13

masterlist

3rd person’s POV

Elisa sits in the hallway of the clinic Naya told the driver to go. It all looks expensive and not really a place Naya would be able to afford, but it seemed like it’s not the first time she has been here. The doctor took her into a room and told Elisa to wait our here, so she was left alone with her raging thoughts.

There is so much to process, and she doesn’t even know where to start. The first punch was when Naya admitted to her that she is pregnant. In the emergency she couldn’t even get out a word, and then the second punch hit. Shawn Mendes is the father. She slowly put the pieces together in her head.

Naya was foolish enough to have unprotected sex with her client, get pregnant, and she also has contacted him since she found out, because it really seemed like it’s not a surprise to him when he texted back he is on his way. These two have known it for God knows how long, leaving her out of it completely and she couldn’t deny the fact that it hurt her. She thought they shared everything. They have been through so much together yet Naya still chose not to tell her about the baby and just in general the whole story with Shawn. She never said anything about sleeping with him.

As the minutes passes by Elisa gets more and more upset, emotions are whirling in her like a hurricane and she doesn’t even know what she wants to do first. Whoop Naya’s ass or kill Shawn.

The appearance of the said boy makes the decision easier on her, because when she sees him running towards her in the hallway she jumps to her feet and as soon as he is close enough she grabs the collar of his shirt and gives him a rather strong push that throws him off a bit, stumbling on his feet.

“What the fuck did you do?!” she hisses at him in the loudest she can be at a hospital.

“What?!” Shawn is quite confused, he hasn’t even met Elisa, he was just guessing that the anxious girl waiting at the room they told me Naya would be in is in fact her roomie. “Elisa, I’m sorry you didn’t know about it… I-“

“Did you force her into it? Did you?!” She is starting to raise her voice that makes a few nurses turn their ways. Shawn looks around pulling Elisa to the side.

“Please, we have to be quiet.”

Realizing he is right Elisa tries to contain herself as they take a seat and continue the conversation in a more suitable tone.

“Look, I’m sorry, I really am. I told her to talk to you, but she was so afraid. She has been a wreck since she found out and is trying to hide from the world, but I told her she can’t do it forever. I’m really sorry you had to find out like this.”

Considering his words Elisa realizes the situation is a bit different from what she thought. She takes a few deep breaths to calm herself down. Shawn seeing that she has collected herself he finally asks the important question.

“Okay, what happened? Do we know anything?”

“Um… I really don’t know,” she sighs shaking her head. “It was so fucking scary…” She can feel her throat closing up as she thinks back at the image of her best friend, shaking from pain in the middle of the night, crying out for help.

“Tell me what happened.”

“I woke up to a huge thud. I thought someone broke in, but it was Naya, all curled up from the pain at the dinner table. There was a blood stain on her pants. She barely could talk from the pain, so I called a car and came here as fast as possible. They haven’t said anything since they took her in.”

Shawn runs his fingers through his hair anxiously. He just landed in New York when he got the text. He came home earlier, he wanted to surprise Naya and take her out for a brunch in the morning. It was weird to get a text so late from her, especially since he read the one she sent him before going to bed, so he though she was sleeping. But reading the emergency text he immediately made his way to the clinic as fast as possible. The past couple days have been hard not just on Naya, but on him as well. Finding out he is going to be a dad was shocking and he had a couple of panic attacks alone at home whenever he thought for too long about it, but he was kind of getting used to it and started thinking about it in the most positive way he could. His feeling for Naya never changed, he was actually happy he could spend more time with the girl even though he knew she was having a hard time adjusting the situation.

The thought of losing the baby made him panic again. His first thought was that Naya must be so scared and he wanted nothing more than to just take her pain and all her problems away, but he didn’t have the power to it. Now he feels useless, sitting in the hallway as he has no idea what is going on in the room. Is she still in pain? Did she lose the baby?

After what felt like forever the door opens and a doctor steps out. He looked old, his narrow glasses are pushed up to the top of his head, messing up his grey hair.

“Relatives of Ms. Duvall?” he asks and without hesitation Shawn and Elisa nod immediately as they stand up.

“How is she?” Elisa asks eagerly, wanting nothing more than to know if Naya is okay.

“She is fine. There is nothing to worry about. What happened is that her uterus is starting to change to be able to take care of the baby. The female body goes through extreme changes during a pregnancy, the growth is sudden and this change sometimes is accompanied with strong pain. It’s temporary and normal, don’t worry. Her body is just trying to transform and somehow it was more painful for her than to others.”

Elisa and Shawn both sigh in relief hearing the doctor’s explanation of what really happened. It’s like a whole mountain just fell off of their shoulders right there in the hallway.

“And… what about the blood?” Elisa asks a bit confused.

“Spotting is also normal during pregnancy. Sometimes it’s a sign of infection, but it’s not the case now. Ms. Duvall is perfectly fine, we gave her some painkiller, put her on a quick IV, she is ready to leave as soon as we are done with that. Unfortunately painful cramping might happen again, let’s hope her body is done with that.”

They thank the doctor before he tells them they are allowed to see her and leaves. Walking into the room the lighting is brighter than they were expecting, but when they adjust it they see Naya lying in a hospital bed in the middle of the room. She looks a bit pale, her eyes are heavy, but she has a smile on her face. A very tired smile.

“I’m sorry I scared you both,” she mumbles and Elisa almost immediately starts crying as she rushes to the side of her bed. “Oh my God, don’t cry, you are making me cry!” she pleads as Elisa gives her a light hug, trying not to hurt her in any way.

“You scared the shit out of me! Don’t you dare do this again!” she sobs wiping her tears away.

“Okay, deal. It wasn’t fun for me either,” she chuckles bitterly. Her eyes wonder over to the boy standing at the door, giving them respectfully giving them some time. Elisa notices the look and quickly straightens up.

“I’ll give you two some time to talk, but we are having a conversation later too.” She gives her a meaningful look before turning away and walking out of the room giving them some privacy.

Shawn feels nervous, he hates seeing her so tired and worn out, and he hates the fact that he wasn’t next to her when she needed him even more. He wanders closer, but keeps a small distance, not really knowing how Naya is feeling about him right now. But then she reaches up for him and he moves immediately. Sitting down to the edge of the bed he leans closer as they share a tight hug.

“I thought you are only coming back this afternoon,” she chuckles jokingly when Shawn straightens up, but he takes her free hand and laces their fingers together.

“Finished earlier, and I wanted to surprise you with a brunch, but I guess that plan is now cancelled.”

“I’ll be out of here in a few hours, we can have a very early breakfast.”

Shawn laughs shaking his head. How is she so light and smiley after such a shocking night? It’s another feature he adores in her.

“Naya, you scared the shit out of me. This is exactly why I want you to move in with me, I want to be there when something happens, I want to help you. Please, just-“

“I’ll move in with you,” she says cutting him off. Shawn freezes, totally forgetting about what he was trying to say.

“What?”

“I thought about it, and you are right. I was lucky tonight, Elisa was home, but she often works during the night and I don’t want to be alone if something like this happens again. The only solution is moving in with you.”

Tonight has really opened her eyes. This is not just about her stubborn self anymore, she has to take care of a baby and as much as she wants to do it on her own, tonight she realized she needs help. A pregnancy is challenging even to those who were planning on it, but it was a surprise for her and she now finally sees that she might need every bit of help she can get to make it through these nine months.

Shawn is not able to contain his happiness, leaning closer he presses an open-mouthed kiss on the girl’s lip making her laugh.

“It’ll be so amazing! We can go furniture shopping, I’ll make one of the rooms your closet if you want and then we can start planning the nursery!”

His enthusiasm warms Naya’s heart. Now she really feels like she is not alone. She has Shawn, no matter what is about to come.

taglist: @damnigotadime @jrock-1987 @dacutiehart @ricchhelle @shar-is-my-name@hollandechart

#shawn #mendes #shawn mendes #shawn mendes imagines #Shawn Mendes Imagine #shawn mendes fanfic #shawn mendes fanfiction #shawn mendes fic #shawn mendes fanfics #shawn mendes fanfictions #shawn mendes x reader #boundaries #boundaries series #mendes army

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1112lw · 6 years ago

Note

Every question!!

SDFFSDFG DAM OK SIS

LONG POST AHEAD IF U LITERALLY WANNA KNOW ME PERSONALLY JUST READ THIS LMFAO

1: Name: Arche/Jupiter, my close friends know my real name so!

2: Age: High school has just been done so try to guess

3: Fears: Heights, oral presentations, the dark

4: 3 things I love: Drawing, men- concept art n stuff like that

5: 4 turns on: Oh here we go- uhh thighs, messy hair? when they give u The Look or when they. say things i will not talk about here HHGBDF n uhhh Arms 👀👀

6: 4 turns off: weird macho attitude, overly confident bullshit, being selfish and fuckboys in general

7: My best friend: not sure what this means but my bff is named Daphnée n i love her and ive known her my whole life so

8: Sexual orientation: homosexuale

9: My best first date: :))))))) as if

10: How tall am I: sigh. I’m 5″4

11: What do I miss: sometimes i miss the feeling loved ig

12: What time were I born: 12:19

13: Favourite color: pink!

14: Do I have a crush

15: Favourite quote: My senior quote!! “if what doesn’t kill us makes us stronger, I’m telling you I’m immortal”

16: Favourite place: well? my room ig? I like my yard too

17: Favourite food: ugh ramen,,,korean dishes are TASTE as fuck but i also like classic ass spaghetti so like lol

18: Do I use sarcasm: does it look like i dont

19: What am I listening to right now: dr.phil LMFAO

20: First thing I notice in new person: Hair and eyes!! also how they laugh

21: Shoe size: Like. a 7-8 in women’s 6 in men’s

22: Eye color: Hazel/Golden yes bitch let me be special

23: Hair color: it’s either dark brown or golden brown idk

24: Favourite style of clothing: bruv its either kpoppie fuckboy or uwu skirts pastels

25: Ever done a prank call?: no i have anxiety

26: Meaning behind my URL:

27: Favourite movie: rise of the guardians and HTTYD

28: Favourite song: Comeback Home (BTS cover)

29: Favourite band: looks in the camera i dont know nan molla huh

30: How I feel right now: I’m fine im hungry

31: Someone I love: shoutout to my babeys in my server ily

32: My current relationship status: Single(tm)

33: My relationship with my parents: theyre fine ig just a bit tired

34: Favourite holiday:

35: Tattoos and piercing I have: Ear piercings? that’s it

36: Tattoos and piercings I want:

37: The reason I joined Tumblr:

38: Do I and my last ex hate each other? I sure hope not?

39: Do I ever get “good morning” or “good night ” texts? A bit ig?

40: Have I ever kissed the last person you texted? Literally no

41: When did I last hold hands? Like last Friday

42: How long does it take me to get ready in the morning? 20 minutes

43: Have You shaved your legs in the past three days? no i havent shaved in like months

44: Where am I right now? in my room, in quebec, canada

45: If I were drunk & can’t stand, who’s taking care of me? bitch i sure hope my friends would

46: Do I like my music loud or at a reasonable level? fuck my ears

47: Do I live with my Mom and Dad? yeah

48: Am I excited for anything? yeah? yeah

49: Do I have someone of the opposite sex I can tell everything to? ig? always

50: How often do I wear a fake smile? just at work tbh

51: When was the last time I hugged someone? not long ago i cant tell but my friends r cuddle monsters so

52: What if the last person I kissed was kissing someone else right in front of me? i havent kissed anyone so

53: Is there anyone I trust even though I should not? lemme think uhhh no not rlly im not dumb

54: What is something I disliked about today? i woke up n i thought i had school lol

55: If I could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be? oh john cock i want to be ur best friend

56: What do I think about most? i daydream 24/7

57: What’s my strangest talent? uhhh i can put my thumb behind my hand?

58: Do I have any strange phobias? trypophobia, if thats “weird”

59: Do I prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it? depends on what the video is, mostly behind

60: What was the last lie I told? idk answering to my deadname

61: Do I prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online? online

62: Do I believe in ghosts? How about aliens? I slightly believe in ghosts? also aliens GOTTA exist so

63: Do I believe in magic? i think!

64: Do I believe in luck? yeah

65: What’s the weather like right now? very pretty i filmed a video outside!!

66: What was the last book I’ve read? L’Étranger d’Albert Camus in french class

67: Do I like the smell of gasoline? yes my dad’s a mechanic

68: Do I have any nicknames? a lot a lot

69: What was the worst injury I’ve ever had? bitch @ my birth #neverforget

70: Do I spend money or save it? i have 40$ in my name right now

71: Can I touch my nose with a tounge? no

72: Is there anything pink in 10 feet from me? yes highlighter

73: Favourite animal? cats or otters

74: What was I doing last night at 12 AM? FBISDFD NO WE DONT TALK ABOUT IT

75: What do I think is Satan’s last name idk he can have any last name he wants!!!

76: What’s a song that always makes me happy when I hear it? everytime i start hearing “waiting for you anpanman” or “i just wanna go home” 👀👀

77: How can you win my heart? aaahh. be a twink. b fashionable. b funny. cheesy. pls romance me like a npc in the sims 2

78: What would I want to be written on my tombstone? s(he) died smh

79: What is my favorite word? cunt is SUCH a satisfying word

80: My top 5 blogs on tumblr? oh great uh honestly cant be fucked

81: If the whole world were listening to me right now, what would I say? please have brain. PLEASE

82: Do I have any relatives in jail? i sure hope the fuck not?

83: I accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow me with the super-power of my choice! What is that power? either invisibility or mind reading

84: What would be a question I’d be afraid to tell the truth on? ahaaa “what are your intrusive thoughts”

85: What is my current desktop picture? my lesbian sims getting married LMFAO

86: Had sex? no

87: Bought condoms? no

88: Gotten pregnant? NO

89: Failed a class? i think yeah maths last year

90: Kissed a boy? :(((

91: Kissed a girl? no

92: Have I ever kissed somebody in the rain? no

93: Had job? I have a job rn so

94: Left the house without my wallet? yeah when i go to school

95: Bullied someone on the internet? define bullying?

96: Had sex in public? virgin squad

97: Played on a sports team? yeah

98: Smoked weed? no ew

99: Did drugs? no ew

100: Smoked cigarettes? NO EW

101: Drank alcohol? yep

102: Am I a vegetarian/vegan? no i’d die

103: Been overweight? i’m twig

104: Been underweight? i think i was underweight when i was young? i was very Small

105: Been to a wedding? yes very long boring

106: Been on the computer for 5 hours straight? bruh. everyday

107: Watched TV for 5 hours straight? probably?

108: Been outside my home country? ONCE

109: Gotten my heart broken? TWICE !

110: Been to a professional sports game? yesss canadians game!!

111: Broken a bone? no

112: Cut myself? not technically

113: Been to prom? SOON SOON SOON SOSOSNSBFSHDD

114: Been in airplane? once

115: Fly by helicopter? i am not rich bitch

116: What concerts have I been to? noneeee- WAIT NO MARIE MAI

117: Had a crush on someone of the same sex? not sex but for the purpose of pretending i have a penis yes plenty

118: Learned another language? yeah!! i learned english, i almost learned spanish and i’m trynna learn korean now

119: Wore make up? i try!! but i’m not super good

120: Lost my virginity before I was 18? not 18 yet but it’s goin that way

121: Had oral sex? as if

122: Dyed my hair? i wishhh

123: Voted in a presidential election? I WISH THE ELECTIONS R ONE MONTH B4 MY BIRTHDAY

124: Rode in an ambulance? nope

125: Had a surgery? yes at a week old

126: Met someone famous? i think yes but i was super small

127: Stalked someone on a social network? define stalked?

128: Peed outside? yes

129: Been fishing? YES

130: Helped with charity? i think? we do volunteering so

131: Been rejected by a crush? not directly

132: Broken a mirror? no

133: What do I want for birthday? boyf......boy..boyff

134: How many kids do I want and what will be their names? oh man uhh maybe 2-3, i dont know their names yet honestly

135: Was I named after anyone? MY DAD NAMED ME AFTER A FUCKIN CLIENT HE MET. as for my actual name now I named myself after my fav video game character. lit

136: Do I like my handwriting? yeah!!

137: What was my favourite toy as a child? bitch hot wheels

138: Favourite Tv Show? hells kitchen,,,,judge judy,,,anythin like that

139: Where do I want to live when older? honestly i wish i could just live in japan or tokyo, or new york? but i will most likely end up in montreal

140: Play any musical instrument? i used to play the clarinet last year!!

141: One of my scars, how did I get it? the one on my knee, i scratched my desk with my knee

142: Favourite pizza toping? my dad makes AMAZING sea food pizzas,,,

143: Am I afraid of the dark? a lot

144: Am I afraid of heights? A LOT

145: Have I ever got caught sneaking out or doing anything bad? idk prolly? im a bit of a goody two shoes or however u spell it

146: Have I ever tried my hardest and then gotten disappointed in the end: dont we all

147: What I’m really bad at: organizing my anxiety n shit i get overwhelmed

148: What my greatest achievments are: finishing high school

149: The meanest thing somebody has ever said to me: honestly has to be that time someone dug up my vent post about being dysphoric to try to say i hated myself with some dumbass DySphorIa Is SelF HaTRed argument

150: What I’d do if I won in a lottery: pay my parents’ debt off, buy 284223$ of BT21 merch, pay my whole college/uni and transition

151: What do I like about myself: idk i like how i literally do not give a fuck anymore and ive learned to love myself instead of trynna care

152: My closest Tumblr friend: @peptobismol-official @ace-landofthesun @dorkalisious and ana but idk her @ anymore :((( ana pls

153: Something I fantasise about: we dont talk about that

154: Any thoughts on the paranormal?: lit. please stop crawling in my ceiling !

ok now that u know my whole biography. go doxx me ig. bye bye

#Arche.txt #asks #ask #long post

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catmeme-moved · 6 years ago

Note

all of the asks! >:3

god ok

1. You woke up naked next to the last person you texted, what would you say?

😏

2. What’s going on between you and the last person you kissed?

3. If your boyfriend or girlfriend was into drugs, would you care?

i dont think i could date anyone who does any kind of drugs,, it makes me Very uncomfortable

4. Is your last name longer than six letters?

its only 4 babey

5. Was your last kiss drunk or sober?

sober...ive never been drunk

6. Have you ever wanted to have someone but you messed it up?

i guess?? it was in high school so i dnt think it rly counts since yknow, i was 16

7. What does your last received text say?

“jgdijgjfdivjdjdj me“

8. How many times have you kissed the last person you kissed?

not enough times !!! i love kissing my gf

9. Where was your last kiss at?

in the parkinglot behind my dorm building

10. When is the last time you saw your sister?

i saw both my sisters when i was home for break a few weeks ago

11. What do you drink in the morning?

coffey

12. Where did you sleep last night?

my bed

13. Do you think relationships are hard?

not rly? i think if relationships r hard then they arent rly meant to be

14. If you could go back and change something in the past 5 months, would you?

god i wouldnt have spent so much money

15. You’re locked in a room with the last person you kissed, any problems?

none at all ;3c

16. Would you rather it be sunny or rainy?

i guess rainy....overcast weather is my fav

17. Do you know anyone with the same middle name as you?

my mom ! probably lots of other people too shjkdh lee is a fairly common name i think

18. Are you wearing jeans,sweatpants,or pajama pants?

jeans

19. Do you think you will be in a relationship 3 years from now?

i hope so!!!

20. Does anyone like you?

god i sure hope my gf does

21. Have you ever kissed someone with a name that starts with an S?

nop

22. Is the last person you kissed gay?

ya thats why i kissed them ghksdjs

23. Is there a person you CANNOT stand?

no one that i know personally.. there r some like celebrities and other famous ppl i dont like

24. Have you ever considered getting a tattoo?

yes i want a tattoo from a specific artist in my hometown!!!

25. In the past week have you cried?

i mean probably i dont remember though

26. What breed was the last dog you saw?

a pug...i saw him in a donut shop

27. Do you dry off in the shower or out of the shower?

i dry off as im stepping out of the shower

28. Have you ever kissed a football player?

no bc jocks intimidate me

29. Do you think you’re old?

not really in the grand scheme of things.. im only 20 i still have decades ahead of me !

30. Do you like text messaging?

31. What type of day are you having?

its been ok! i spent time w my roommates downtown

32. Have you ever thought about getting your nose pierced?

i hav my septum pierced but a nostril piercing would b nice

33. Do you prefer warm or cold weather?

cold..

34. Is there a person of the opposite sex who means a lot to you?

i dont rly think theres such a thing as “opposite sex” since sex is also on a spectrum like gender

35. Would you prefer a relationship or a fling?

relationship ! flings r nice i guess but i prefer the stability and commitment of an actual relationship

36. Are you a simple or complicated person?

i thnik im fairly simple..idk

37. What song are you listening to?

when he died by lemon demon

38. When you say you’re sorry do you mean it?

yea of course39. Is there a girl that knows everything or almost everything about you?

my best friemd emily40. What made you start liking the person you like now?

theyre hot and funny and very kind!!!!41. When did you last receive a text message?

idk maybe an hour ago42. What is wrong with you right now?

im hungry and not being held by my gf43. How well do you know the last female you texted?

its my mom so fairly well i think44. Does anyone disgust you?

men45. Would you date someone right now if they asked?

no bc im already dating someone46. Are you in a good mood right now?

i feel...neutral47. Who was the last person you talked to in person?

my roommate !48. What color shirt are you wearing?

its blue pruple n green tie dye49. Has someone recently told you something you didn’t want to hear?

ya my history professor told me i had to read books50. Anyone you’re giving up on?

no one is coming to mind51. Do you hate the person you fell hardest for?

i dont hate anyone!

52. Have you ever thought about giving up on someone but couldn’t?

almost gave up on ever being able to pet the raccoons outside the dining hall but someday ill be able to earn their trust

53. Do you like rain?

yes!!! 54. Do you care if your boyfriend/girlfriend drinks?

not rly ! as long as theyre safe about it ykwim55. Have you ever liked somebody and never told them?

no i think ive told most of my crushes how i felt about them at the time 56. Do you like to cuddle?

god yes i love to hold and be held57. Are you shy?

its the social anxiety 58. Do you get along with girls?

i am a lesbian59. Have you dated the person you texted last?

we r dating !! 60. What do you carry with you at all times?

my phone and my peper spray 61. If you were paid 1 million dollars to spend the night in a supposed haunted house, would you?

id do it for 10 62. Do you think you can last in a relationship for five months?

ive been in my current one for 7 and my longest lasted 8 ! 63. Think back to October, were you in a relationship?

yes! 64. The person you like kisses you on the forehead, do you find this cute?

anything my gf does is cute65. Did anything “cute” happen in the last week?

my cat yawned when she tried to meow and made a weird squeak sound

66. How old are the last three people you kissed?

18 (or maybe 19 now idk), 19, 20

67. Would you rather pay to get your nails done or do them yourself?

i do them myself bc i hate spending money68. Which do you like better- Zebra print or leopard print?

ghgdh,....neither69. Do you have any stickers on your car?

i dont have a car yet 70. Would you rather listen to Luke Bryan or Lil Wayne?

neither...i dont rly like eithr of those music genres71. Blackberry, Anroid, or iPhone?

im samsung bitch until i die72. When’s the last time you had pizza from Pizza Hut?

its been months. maybe years. i dont like pizza73. Do you like diet soda?

i dont rly like any soda anymore tbh74. What color are the walls in your room?

plain white...f 75. Are you 16 or older?

bitche im 2076. Do you watch Pretty Little Liars?

nop i dont even know waht its about77. Do you have a job?

yes i work in a library ! 78. What are your initials?

ylb79. Did you ever have braces?

no :^/80. Are you from the south?

nope im a pnw bitch

81. What does your last status on facebook say?

something about voting82. Do you still talk to the first person you ever kissed?

ya shes my best friemd83. Are you closer to your mom or your dad?

my mom.. fuck my dad !84. Have you ever done cheerleading or gymnastics?

i vaguely remember attending a gymnastics class when i was like 5 85. What’s the last movie you saw in theaters?

uhh.. venom i think86. Do you smoke?

no never !!!87. Would you rather wear heels or flip flops?

flip flops. 88. Is your phone touch screen?

god how old are these questions. who has a phone that isnt touch screen now89. Do you normally wear your hair straight or curly?

my hair is naturally curly !90. Have you ever snuck out of your house?

no91. Would you rather swim in a river, lake, or pool?

a pool..... rivers and lakes r scary92. Have you ever made out in a car?

not yet93. …Had sex in a car?

no that seems. . difficult. theres not very much room94. Are you single or in a relationship?

im in a luvly relationship95. What were you doing last night at midnight?

sleepin96. When’s the last time you saw fireworks?

new years i think??97. Do you like the camera on your phone?

yea its pretty nice98. Have you ever had a friend with benefits?

no but ik i wanted one before i got into my current relationship skdgjhj99. Have you ever passed out from drinking?

no but i did drink half a beer thing once and went to sleep bc i got a stomach ache100. Are you friends with people on facebook that you actually hate?

i dont even use facebook101. Have you ever had a pregnancy scare?

when i was in first grade id play “family” w my friend sometimes and she’d pretend to be the dad and i was the mom so we would spoon each other bc we thot thats what sex was and i thought she actually got me pregnant bc i was 7 and didnt know anything102. Name your favorite Kesha song:

the song blind slaps103. Do you have any tan lines right now?

no its winter and i also dont go outdoors104. Would you ever wear cowboy boots with shorts?

i hate wearing shorts

#vry sorry if the readmore doesnt work sdhgjkh #clouds06 #asko

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pacifymebby · 2 years ago

Note

Hey bestie I’m really sorry to be messaging in again but I’m a little worried for my health at the moment. This period seems quite off. It started off with an entire day like over 24 hours of spotting and it wasn’t my usual colour and I had cramps with the spotting as well (which never happens for me). And then I got an actual flow of red blood (which is still pretty light flow and light in colour) and that’s been going on for 1.5 days since the spotting. And I’m still getting cramps when I usually only get cramps on the first day of my period and thats usually when the flow is the heaviest and reddest and I don’t usually have spotting first. I’ve never gotten cramps on the third day. Now you might think I’m just being overly paranoid but my periods have been the same since I started getting them and I’ve never missed one or had weird things like this happen like I mean they are the exact same every time.

Could this all be because of stress? Like I’ve had much much more stress in my life than this before and I’ve still never experienced disturbances in my menstrual cycle so idk why I would now? I’ve also been feeling quite ill. Ive taken my temperature and I don’t seem to have a fever. But I’m slightly nauseated and woozy feeling occasionally and have had pretty bad headaches. Have I done something to make myself sick? Have I literally stressed myself to sickness? Is this something I should be speaking to a doctor about or is this just regular stuff I shouldn’t be worried about? So sorry for being para again about stupid shit I’ve just never had stuff like this happen to me before - age gap crush anon

Hi hi hi, I am so sorry I haven't been ignoring you I've just been super busy with my final uni work hand in and feeling massively overwhelmed, I wanted to save answering for a time when I felt like I could give my absolute most to you haha.

So first of all, I know you're probably feeling a little bit disappointed since you'd sort of gotten used to the idea, but ultimately its probably for the best that you are not pregnant with this man's child. It'll be much nicer having a family with someone you know isn't going to walk away from you. I think it's fair to say you don't really know this guy as much as you'd ideally like to know the father of your future children.

But i do think the disappointment you talked about in your other message is totally natural, especially if you're someone who knows they want kids in the future.

Probably just let yourself feel the feelings and then they will pass.

Secondly, about what you said about him putting you off men.

Again I think that's perfectly normal and like 9 times out of 10 men are so shit and unreliable and just utterly wank. BUT remember this guy is the first guy you've ever been with and that you were also really new to the whole dating thing in general, don't let this experience completely put you off dating/dating men. But also, when it comes to dating and stuff in future like, don't necessarily feel like you have to hunt a relationship down, be friends with people first, develop and nurture connections over a long time. AND ALSO embrace ur bisexuality for sure, definitely go and persue relationships with women, I found it a really pivotal part of my developmental years (not that I'm really sure I'm out of those lollll)

One think I'd warn you against is that the gays can be just as toxic and shitty as the straights and I've known a fair few women to be shitty too so just be aware I guess?

Tbh though I don't want to put you off dating and I'm more on the team of "it's gone to shit once so you can survive if it happens again, take that risk girlie"

Now for the health stuff it really is difficult for me to judge because what you've just sent me sounds like a normal period but if it's not a normal period for you then I understand completely why you'd be stressed out.

One thing I will say is that when I start having sex and stuff my period does change a bit and it definitely did after I lost my virginity. However I don't know if that's a medical fact or based in any kind of science it's just an observation I have about my own period.

I would say if you're unsure it's a good idea to seek medical advice, but I'd advise you don't worry too much until you know if somethings wrong or not.

Sometimes our body just changes a bit and especially since you're very much at a developmental time in your life your hormones and your body will be all over the place and changing drastically. I don't think that shit settles until you're mid twenties.

Sending you lots of love girly, and feel free to update me in future too, even if age gap crush is dead, I wanna hear the girl crush gossip too hehe ❤️❤️❤️

0 notes

turnaboutspec · 6 years ago

Note

ANSWER ALL FUCK FAT

The Most Comprehensive NSFW AskAround

About You

What is the size of your penis/breasts?

The size ofmy dick is slightly small, but it get’s to a decent size, and it’s also thickas hell.

Does your penis have a curve?

It doesn’tactually, it’s like a straight rod lol.

Are you circumsized?

Nope. Neverwant to be circumsized. I love my foreskin thank you very much.

Have you ever had an STD?

Nope!

Have you ever been pregnant/gotten someone pregnant?

Nope nope!

What type of underwear are you wearing?

I’m just wearingboxers but they are hella scrunched up into my ass lol.

What is your favorite type of underwear?

I loveboxers for myself, and thin ass panties for the other as I can easily slide insince I’m a perv lol.

When was your last erection/arousal?

Just rightnow.

Have you ever had an erection which someone noticed?

Lmaomultiple times……. In public ah.

Has anyone seen your private parts other than yourself?

Yes suh.Only a few have seen them.

Explain your ultimate fantasy.

My ultimatefantasy is always being that oniichan type of figure while my s/o acts like alittle imouto, and we go really hard into it pretending to be brother andsister because the shit I read in hentai is god damn hot, and it gets us reallyreally riled up. It starts off with just cuddling the imouto, then eventuallywhen we are “asleep”, start to play with their body while noticing their cutesounds and quirks. Eventually, moving their clothes off and going aggressive atcertain pats of the body. The imouto wakes up, and wondering what you aredoing, and asks you to stop even though she is getting turned on and issecretly wanting that to happen.

What are your turn-ons?

Bondage,Doms, Thighs, thigh highs, socks, that space between the shorts and the highknee socks, crazy energy.

What are your turn-offs?

I can’tstand super girly voices, boring ass folks, basic af.

What is the strangest thing you’ve ever been turned on by?

A damnplushie lmao.

Have you sent a sexual ask to someone on tumblr (Anonymously or Not)?

No lol.

Have you sent a nude photo or video to someone?

Of couse.

Did it include sexual acts?

Yes.

Have you ever posted a picture of image of you in the nude on a website?

LOLNO.(apparently there is a site by a certain someone but who knows)

Did it include sexual acts?

Oh yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaah.

Have you ever anonymously sent/posted a picture or video of yourself in the nude?

Lmao no.

Did it include sexual acts?

No.

If someone you knew asked for a nude image, would you do it? What about a tumblr follower?

Jesus Christwhy would you want a pic of me LOL.

What was your latest sex dream about?

Some crazybondage quest. It was rather extreme because it was rather video game like.

Have you ever had a sexual fantasy about someone?

Obviouslyhasn’t anyone else?

Was it about anyone other than your lover?

Lmao just afew guys that’s pretty much it.

What was the last fantasy about?

The lastfantasy was where I was rope tying a certain someone and that person is makingsuch cutes noises, and then I start to enter in all sorts of things like toys,cucumbers, and other weird shit in to her holes. Shes trying to get me to stopso I pissed in her and pluged it up so that her belly becomes pregnant with mypiss.

Have you ever fantasized about someone older/younger than you? How much older/younger?

I havefantasized about 20 year older people, and people who are 6 years younger thanme.

Have you ever told any of these people that you fantasize about them?

Never will.

Do you have a favorite person or few people to fantasize about?

There’s onlyone person I truly like to fantasize about that gets me wet fast.

How often do you fantasize about other people?

It’s random.

Have you ever showered with someone?

Yes I have.

Have you ever confessed you were aroused by someone? No lol.

Are you open about your sex-life and sexuality?

Oh yeah, andpeople are just like “LOL JASTI”

Do you orgasm easily?

DEPENDS.

Have you ever played “7 minutes in heaven”? Explain the experience.

No .

Have you ever played “spin the bottle”? Explain the experience.

no.

Have you ever played “Truth or dare”? Explain the experience.

No.

Have you ever played strip poker/strip beer pong/etc?

No.

Do you shave your pubic hair?

Yes I do.

Have you ever had your pubic hair shaved?

Yes

Do you prefer clean shaven or unkept?

CLEAN SHAVEFOR ME, but hairy pussy the best.

What is your favorite type of underwear for the opposite sex?

Grandmapanties hehe.

Do you own any lingerie? nob

How much lingerie do you own? none

Whats your favorite lingerie outfit? none

Do you like the way your genitals look? Yeah

Are you comfortable naked? I’m quite fine with it.

Masturbation

Do you masturbate?

Not thatmuch lol. Ive been suppressing my urge a lot lately because I don’t feelsatisfaction in many things anymore.

How old were you when you first masturbated?

Honestly, Ithink I was in elementary school when I started to mess around.

How often do you masturbate?

Used to belike every day, but now it’s random.

When is the last time you masturbated?

Last nightat 3 in the morning looking at screenshots lmao.

Do you masturbate to any stimulus?

Yes a lot ofold videos, and comics. Even after this long, it still gets me.

What do you think about?

All theroleplays that I done in the past, kinkiest scenarios to hentai.

What is the last thing you thought of or masturbated to?

A certainsomebody.

Have you walked in on or caught someone masturbating?

Nope unlessyou consider an s/o.

Have someone ever walked in on or caught you masturbating?

NEVER :^).

Have you ever had cyber sex?

Y u h. Ilove reading descriptions of things as it get’s me rather riled up.

Have you ever had phone sex?

Y u h.

Have you ever had a wet dream?

Yeah, I usedto get them quite a lot.

What is your method of masturbation? (i.e. Hands/Toys/Lotion/etc.)

Hands allday bruh. Edging is my go-to now.

Are you loud or quiet when you masturbate?

Very quiet.I learned the art of being quiet since im always surrounded by folks.

Has anyone ever watched you masturbate live online?

Yes. I lostcount how many times have I seen someone getting off.

Has anyone ever watched you masturbate in person?

Yeah lol.

Have you ever masturbated with someone? (Mutual masturbation)

Yes, so manytimes. It’s kind of hot and kinky.

Have you ever watched someone masturbate live online?

Yeaaaaaaaaaaaah.I have seen it a lot or get pics of the cummies afterwards.

Have you ever watched someone masturbate in person?

Yes I have ;D.

Have you ever masturbated to someone?

Obviously.Plenty of times. Only one person gets me really really really wet.

Who do you like to think about when you masturbate?

There’s onlyone person I usually think of. On top of that I add in hentai, and other kinkyshit which gets me to cum faster.

Have you ever told them you think about them while you masturbate?

Yeah plentyof times.

Whats your most embarrassing masturbation story?

Mostembarrassing moment was when I got a orgasm, but nothing came out, and theother person was just like “l o l”. Jesus Christ I’m still embarrassed aboutit.

Whats your funniest masturbation story?

Trying tomasturbate with my clothes on, and it gets stuck in my zipper .~. I can stillfeel the pain thinking about it.

Have you ever used something unique or strange to masturbate?

Lmao. I used my plushies before cos I couldn’t takeit at times.

Is it easy for you to orgasm or do you have to work for it?

Sometimeseasy , and sometimes it takes forever.

Whats the easiest way for you to get off?

When I’mbeing watched and getting talked to. Or shoving it in doggy style and gettinginstant orgasm lol…

Is there only one way you can get off? (i.e. Vaginal/Clitoral/Toy Use)

Vaginal isbest, but nah.

Does anyone know you masturbate? How did they find out?

A few. Onebecause they always ask me to, and the other we were just talking about sexualstuff for hours.

Have you masturbated because your partner wasn’t around to help? Where were they?

Ohyeaaaaaaaaaaah. Probably at home or busy doing something else.

Have you ever masturbated to a fictional character?

LMAO. Yeah Ihave. So many characters from my animes, and video games ahhhh. I love my characters from animes. Many of themare so god damn sexy.

Are you able to achieve orgasm through only non-conventional or indirect methods? (Breast Play/Hands-Free/Anal)

Yeah, Ihave. Handjob is okay, but not my thing. Breastplay is kinky, and anal is onlywhen I’m desperate lmao.

What is the strangest object you’ve used to masturbate vaginally or anally?

A handlelol. Lubed up by booty and it slided in. I was thinking of being pegged bysomeone while I was masturbating, and it got me off really really fast.

Do you ever double penetrate while you masturbate?

Sometimes.Most of the time no.

Do you ever suck on a dildo while you masturbate?

No, I havenever sucked on a dildo before.

Do you edge when you masturbate? (Get to the point of orgasm and stop repeatedly to enhance the experience)

Oh yeah,plenty of times. IT has really helped me achieve some crazy ass orgasms attimes and a lot of times, so much comes out heh.

What position do you typically masturbate in?

Laying on myback most of the time as I feel it’s more comfortable that way.

Describe a typical masturbation session.

A typicalmasturbation session is where I lay down all naked, then I pull up videos, andphotos. I constantly switch between them back and forth just thinking about allthe naughty things that could happen. It get’s me really riled up, and I thenget even more aggressive and start doing more things toward my rod.

How often do you usually last?

It can takeme like 10 minutes to like an hour lol. When it’s like an hour, it’s usually when I’m trying to take a shit orwhen I’m just exhausted lol.

Whats the quickest you’ve ever been brought to orgasm?

20 seconds-_______-. When a certain someone keeps backing up on it faster and fast, Ijust can’t help it since it gets really tight. That feeling when such a tiny hole tightensand you feel the inner walls can really fuck you up.

What’s the longest masturbation session you’ve had?

3 hours, andI was trying so hard to get a orgasm, and I was really stressing around, andeventually in the wee early mornings I finally achieved a damn orgasm lol.

What’s the most amount of times you’ve cum in a day?

10 times onetime lol.

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pebblysand · 7 years ago

Text

On Children.

Last night, when I posted this - the last 15,000 of a 103,087 words journey - I promised myself I’d talk about it - write about it - later. After I’d slept, after I’d been to work, after I’d processed the thoughts in my head.

I barely slept. Shut the lights out at midnight, woke up at two, then at five and stayed awake after that. I’m usually a heavy sleeper. I think it was the adrenaline.

Today, I spent more time on tumblr and my personal email, anxiously refreshing pages for reviews and comments, than on actual work. I’ll admit it’s insecure and weak on my part, but I guess I am of a generation that is in constant need of validation.

I haven’t felt this happy and excited in a long time but let’s be real, I still haven’t processed shit. Who was I kidding? Maybe, it will help to write this out. I guess I am a writer, after all.

I write that (I’m a writer), and think that’s a weird word, all things considered. It refers to a profession but I’m not a professional, and it is still what I do - like to do - with the spare time that I have. You see, sometimes, I have ideas about things that could happen to people who aren’t real and when that happens, I type them out on a laptop and share them with strangers on the internet. It’s a bit of weird hobby, admittedly, but I like it. I’m okay at it. Sometimes, the thought even crosses my mind that I might be good. It mostly happens when I write things like this:

When she thinks about him, she thinks about them and all she sees is children. A boy and a girl and her pale skin against his cheek, pulling at each other’s hair, laughing, loud, like Nick and Niamh on court benches, school benches, and the autumn leaves scattered around their feet.

Or this:

It’s not homesickness, she thinks, it’s just moving on.

I look at those three sentences and I think (because yeah, let’s dive in, shall we? that’s enough of an introduction) that ultimately, this is what all this was about. Those 103,087 words. This fanfiction, as it is refered to, is called Children not because Martha gets pregnant at the end, but because it’s a coming of age story. A coming of age story that involves a couple of forty-somethings who have spent so much time over the last fifteen years working and helping other people grow that they’ve forgot to do it themselves. This fic is as much about the concept of home and career choices and Sean, than it is about Martha and Clive. And sure, it’s about me, too. Because let’s be real, maybe I was going through a bit of a similar thing, at the time I started writing this, and maybe I did Mary-Sue the heck out of it. Who knows?

What I do know, though, is that I love this story. So much. It feels important, and cool, and smart, and funny and the kind of tale that I like to tell. I also know that although I won’t bore you with the details, I wasn’t in great place, this time last year, when I started writing it. Thankfully, I am in a much, much better place now. I frankly thank Peter Moffat, Silk, and Martha and Clive for that. I think this story gave me room to grow, and focus, and believe in myself more than I ever had before. When I started writing it, it was a 10,000 words one-shot that involved Clive breaking into Martha’s flat through the window and a very early version of that last scene in chapter vii. It was cool, too, but not the story I needed to tell.

Then, chapter i came. Chapter i is crap, I know that. I made it a bit less crap by editing it sometime after I posted chapter ii but really, not by much. In its defense, it was written at a time when a) I hadn’t written a word in three years and b) I had no idea what this would all become. I think that when I first published it, I still thought the fic was going to be fifteen to twenty thousand words, two or three chapters at most.

For a very long time, I was terrified of not finishing this fic, actually. I had a lot of comments about that - understandable considering the sad amount of abandoned works on the Silk fandom - and it just made me more anxious very time. That fear did start to go away over time, but surprisingly late, probably around when I was writing chapter ix. Still, I think I still had remnants of that panic up until I actually wrote the words the end at 3 a.m. last Friday. It felt almost surprising that I had, indeed, finished. All the long projects that I’d started before, I’d abandoned, or gotten tired of. At the time, I held it against myself, but coming back to my earlier point, I’ve now realised that they just weren’t my story to tell.

Then, chapter ii came. I like chapter ii. It’s not perfect and would need to be worked on in a future edit, but I like its plot. I like what it says about the show, about Martha as a character and how she breaks down, how we all do, sometimes. It also says something about what often happens to women, sadly, when they do.

I think this show is important and matters because to me, it talks about something that happens all the time in the legal world and that no show ever touches on. We show the courtrooms and the decorums and the ships, but not happens behind the scenes. Not what I’ve seen. The truth is that when you spend all your waking hours fighting other people’s fights, sometimes, you lose yourself. You breakdown. You burn-out. It’s sort of a premonition but Clive warns Martha about it in the first series, jokingly, sure, but he turns out to be right. That’s what I see in the last episode of series three. As much as I hated the whole courtroom and Micky Joy debacle there, I loved that storyline. I love that she just fucks off. That my ultimate head canon is that she moves to a beach somewhere and opens a café on the coast, pours expressos and chats up tourists all day. Maybe, there, she meets someone. Maybe, she even has a family. But in my head, Children is and always will be a very long AU.

In that AU, of course, she has to stay. And that’s what chapter ii is about, ultimately, about staying when you don’t want to, breaking down and dealing with the consequences. When you’re a woman and you fuck up a bit, the price to pay is sometimes, sadly, very high. So, I tried to show that to the best of my ability. I hope I did a decent job of it. Frankly, I’m not quite sure about how I dealt with the aftermath. I think if I went back and edited, I would probably allow the assault to be more of a recurrent theme in the following chapters. I sometimes wonder if I didn’t deal with it a bit too quickly. But then again, I guess every survivor is different, and there was also a lot to talk about in those next chapters, with Billy and Clive, and Chambers, so I’ll cut myself some slack.

Chapter iii is to me the moment when this fic found its tone and its voice. When Martha and Clive found their voices in my head, too. It was a very difficult chapter to write, I remember, but I think that’s when the fic went from being an extended one-shot to a full blown story, with a plot and character development, and thousands of words, and eleven chapters. That scene at Billy’s grave is one of my favourites.

The one that follows, chapter iv, wrote itself. I barely touched it. I love chapter iv. It’s funny and quirky, and everything I loved about writing those characters I was lucky enough to be able to borrow. I was very insecure about the explicit sex scene in it, but then I felt like that scene was necessary. Again, I didn’t want the only sex in this to be non-consensual. Most often, sex is pleasurable and fun, thank God.

I think when I look back, chapter v is the most personal of them all. Chapter v is what I meant when I said that this fic was about me. Jokes aside, I remember being very nervous about it, wondering if I wasn’t turning a wonderful fic into a horrible, Mary-Sue-d attempt at a diary of my own problems. But then, well, it’s also fiction. My fiction. Because in chapter v, aside from Martha and Bethany’s very short stint, all of the characters are OCs. There’s Martha’s mum (Maureen), and Jo, and Evershed, and Roy. Boy, do I love Roy. Roy is the amalgamation of every man every sixty-something woman in my life has remarried to. He’s not a bad person, he’s just very, very out of tune with current times. Evershed, I don’t have many feelings about. Martha just needed a sounding board. Martha’s mum was probably the hardest to write. She loves her, I think, but I also think they’re very different people. I think they’re linked by what happened to her dad and that sometimes, that gets a bit heavy. And Jo. God, I love Jo. She makes me laugh and sometimes, I wish she was my friend, too.

Again, I was nervous about chapter v and my characters, wondering if people would like them, would like what they said about Martha, about the concept of home, until someone said: "It's like you're writing my life and all the feelings I've had about home and the bar and superimposed Martha Costello on top". I think that’s one of the best comments I’ve ever had on anything I’ve ever written. So, I’m not naming you, you know who you are, and thank you.

Chapter vi was originally very, very long and was then split into vi and vii for readability purposes (I will split xi too, one day, I promise). Yet, in my head, they will always be paired up.

As I’ve mentioned before, the contents of chapter vii, and especially that last scene with Clive when they decide to “try again”, had been in my head ever since I’d started writing this fic. It was always where this story was going to go and when I published it, it felt good to finally release that, to have it out in the world that yeah, this was going to be that kind of fic, with an argumentative, blond, blue-eyed baby being born the end. Although these two are probably the most important chapters in this fic, I oddly don’t have much to say about them. I guess everything is pretty spelled out in there. Clive and Martha are in love. And they’re going to try for a baby. When I split both chapters, I took the opportunity to put back into chapter vii a bit that I’d taken out in the original editing phase. It’s a scene in which Clive and Martha talk about her father’s disease and she mentions that she took a test, once upon a time (i.e. when she got pregnant), to know if she had it, but never read the results. It’s a letter in her handbag that she doesn’t want to open, but that he wants to read. I think more than the topic itself, it shows how much they love each other, and yet how different they are. Martha got to know about Billy’s health when, in fairness, I don’t think she ever wanted to know. I think she’s the kind of person who only likes to know about things she can deal with or solve. If not, she wants to know late enough so that she won’t have to think about it too much. She’s the kind of person who wouldn’t want to know if she had cancer. Clive does, though. He would have liked to know about Billy; I think it hurt him not to. He would have liked to be prepared.

In my canon, Clive reads that letter and never tells her what was in it. He vouches to keep it to himself, and he does. He likes that he knows, respects her decision not to. He would tell her, if she asked, but she never does. As the writer of this story, I personally don’t know what was on that letter, either. I’ve gone back and forth on it a few times and I really don’t know if she has it. She definitely thinks she does. I think that’s kind of where the smoking comes from. I think she sort of hopes it will kill her before she forgets that it will.

I kind of wish I had found a way to use all of that in later chapters but somehow, after that one, it just didn’t fit within the plot. Maybe it will upon further edits. I don’t know.

Now, chapter viii is cute. Like iv. Still, I wanted it to be mostly about her career and going back to work, rather than about her getting pregnant. I hope that it was. Chapter viii is also where the character of Charlotte makes her entrance and I really like her, I like that she both fits in (through her education, her parents) and doesn’t (through how odd and quirky she is). I think if Martha were to ever go back to work after everything that happened, it would be for someone like that. I like that she’s not Billy, too.

And of course, then, Martha gets pregnant, when she leasts expects it. Because, she had to. As a side note, I love the scene where she "tells" Billy. It feels like a full circle to me.

Circles are not necessarily good, though, are they? ix, oh ix. That, also, unfortunately had to happen. I think Martha and Clive had been very nicely playing house for a while but it just couldn’t go on forever. Mostly, I had to deal with Sean, though. Because Sean, oh, Sean, do I love Sean. Again, this fic, frankly, is almost as much about him and about what he represents (young love, home) than it is about Clive and what he represents. When I wrote chapter iii, I thought I was done with him but then again, when I wrote chapter iii, I didn’t know there would be nine chapters, did I? So, Martha, she couldn’t let go, could she? She had to close that door in order to open another one.

ix was so hard to write. Mostly because I’m terrible at writing arguments. I had turn it all around for it to make more sense but I feel that somehow, it more or less worked. I guess, you tell me, though.

(As a side note, I kind of like CW’s role in it. She’s not a friend, but she’s not a stranger either. I think that ultimately, she kind of cares about Martha, for some reason. And I love that conversation between Martha and her mum at the end, almost teared up when I wrote it. Again, part of moving on and growing up.)

And then, comes x. It’s a bit of a filler, I’ll admit. A 10,000 words filler. I couldn’t see Clive and her get back together that easily, so things needed to happen in between. I decided those things were court scenes. I was so nervous about those. I’ll be honest and say I have no fucking clue about the UK’s appeals process and probably got it all wrong. I guess that’s the difference between me back when I was still in law school and me now. At the time, I would have done the research. Now, I just don’t care, as long as the drama’s good. If you’re from the UK and thought it was all wrong, my most sincere apologies.

Finally. xi. As I said in my A/N yesterday, there was supposed to be a xii, until two evenings ago, when I realized that there wasn’t. In fairness, I think I’d suspected it for a while. In my head, I’d always thought of xii as some sort of epilogue, with a mix of cute pregnant-Martha scenes and a bunch of more serious ones (the baby’s name, Clive’s priorities shifting). Then, at 3 a.m. on Friday, I understood that a bunch of scenes stuck together do not necessarily make for a coherent chapter. And that I hate epilogues anyway. Finish your bloody story and stick with it, I say. So, the important stuff made it into xi (Clive’s priorities shifting, the baby’s name) and the rest just went to trash. I’m happy with that. In an earlier draft of an outline for xii, I also had a scene about CW prosecuting Brown Hair in an assault case on someone else, but that felt a bit cheap and would have kind of taken away the point I wanted to make with ii, the fact that most of the time, sadly, there is no resolution to these things. So, yeah, I’m happy I didn’t write that in.

I guess I don’t know what I thought would happen when I wrote the words the end after of all this. I think I thought fireworks would be in order, and champagne. Instead, I was alone in my flat on a Friday night, drinking beer and thinking holy shit. I didn’t cry - still haven’t - but I’m not sure all of this has really sunk in, yet, so.

So, what does this all mean? Well, it means that I’ve written a story and finished it. Not a novel, sure, but a story nonetheless, with some characters that were mine and some that I borrowed and it had a beginning, a middle and an end. That feels great. Amazing, in fact, like the top of the world. And yes, in a few years, months maybe, even, I’ll probably look back at this post and think I was full of shit and full of myself. Right now, though, it feels good. I’ve motherfucking done this, you know?

And I acknowledge the fact that there’s still a lot of work to do. Because everything I’ve mentioned I want to make better, want to rewrite (like chapter i, ugh), I’ll do. I’ll let the fic sit, for a while, but I’ve planned to go back to it in a few months (August or September, give or take) and edit. Because frankly, although I love this story to bits, I also know it has flaws. For better or for worse, I’m a perfectionist at heart, so I want to make it the best it can be. That being said, I am very proud of this, nonetheless.

So, yeah, if you’re interested, maybe click again and go back to reading Children this time next year, it’ll probably have changed a bit. If not, that’s alright, please, just don’t hold chapter i against me.

Lastly, again, I’d like to repeat my thanks. To @missmarthacostello for early-fic chats. To @asummerevening for later-fic chats. To everyone who’s read, commented and PM-ed me over the last months and to everyone who will hopefully read and comment and message me in the future. I owe you many. Again, if you have prompts, requests, feel free to PM me, I’m happy to try my best. And lastly, again, thanks to the wonderful @cursedandcharmed without whom, honestly, this would not have seen the light of day. As I said in my A/N, you listened to me rant for a year about something you were not reading and that took place within the universe of a show you were not watching. I can’t thank you enough for that.

So, there. I hope this was somewhat coherent. I honestly tried, to the best of my ability. This fic has taken up so many weekends and hours of my life these past few months that I am unsure as to what comes next, and what one does with so much time on their hands. Again, though, I’ll probably look back at this in a bit and think I was full of shit, so, there’s that.

Thanks again and whoever you are, if you’ve stuck around this long, you have all my love and admiration.

Best,

pebblysand.

#children #silk bbc #the major post #thanks for reading

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thehalfworld · 7 years ago

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Fanfic MST: ITS MY LIFE!, a Portal fanfic [part 12]

Oh yes, friends, it’s back! It’s been entirely too long (two years too long, to be exact) and I hope you’re all ready for some more vaguely Portal-flavored nonsense.

No real warnings for this chapter, just typical MarissaTheWriter ridiculousness. And canon character death, maybe, depending on whether or not you take the events of this chapter at face value (and, if I remember this story correctly, you probably shouldn’t).

Recap: Chell and GLaDOS have fused into one entity, P-body is pregnant, and Marissa for some reason decided that Rattman is the only one who can prevent disaster even though dude is strictly a non-action guy. She located him and now the two of them are planning on taking down the Chell/GLaDOS fusion.

Chapter 1

Previous chapter

AN YOU GUYSARE ALL SO WEIRD! YOU WERE GIVIN ME GOOD REVIEWS THEN YOU SAY IM A TROLL AN THAT YUR GONNA KILL ME AN PUT SALT IN MY THINGS?

That is pretty weird, yeah.

(I’m not even sure what she’s referencing. Maybe a play on “assault”?)

IF IT WERENT FOR THE PEPOLE HOO REALLY LICK MY STORY LIKE THE BUZINESS GUY AN SEPHRAL AN CAT NOT BOUNCY ID STOP IT RITE NOW!

I dunno who Sephral is, but “the buziness guy” is user ASBusinessMagnet (later a recurring character in MarissaTheWriter’s stories; I’m pretty sure we got married at one point), and “Cat Not Bouncy” is Tumblr user catbountry, who was going by “Not Cat Bountry” on Fanfiction dot net and who did a dramatic reading.

PS - I NO THAT GLADOS IS SPELLED GLADOS I CALLED HER FUSION CHELLGADOS BECOS CHELL ALREADY HAS THE LS AN IT SOUNDED MORE COOLER!

See, I told you she’d explain that. All makes sense now, right? Perfectly logical writing decision.

ITS MY LIFE!

CHAPTER TWELF: THE FINAL BATTLE

Bit of a misnomer, since this is not, in fact, the final chapter.

(Actually, if I remember correctly, MarissaTheWriter may have been writing by the seat of her pants; it’s possible she initially intended this as the True and Honest Final Battle.)

Ratman an I were goin thru the air ducks to get to CHELLGADOSs layer were the final show down wold be.

Oh my god, she means her lair, not her layer. That literally took me years to figure out. Holy fuck.

Wheatly was growlin an tryin to be scarry becos he didant have weapons so he was lick are cheer leader.

Considering what happens when Wheatley actually tries to be the bad guy, I think this is preferable.

We intered the layer an saw CHELLGADOS buildin turrents but these ones was speshal becos they cold walk a round an shoot an stuff!

Hey, I played Portal 2, I saw the turret assembly line. It’s pretty much autonomous. She doesn’t have to build them herself, and honestly I think she’d find it beneath her.

But maybe things have changed since I left the building.

"INTURDER!" One of the turrents called to CHELLGADOS. CHELLGADOS looked at me with all the angry she ever had.

That’s a phenomenal amount of anger. Surprised Marissa didn’t combust on the spot.

"Marrissa Roberts you have interfeared with my plans for the last time becos now I will kill you."

All right! Time for some murder!

Then she seed Ratman an got more angry. "RATMAN IS A LIFE? NOW YOU WILL BOTH DYE!"

I doubt she cares about killing Rattman, considering that she didn’t do so before and that he poses basically no threat on his own. Like I said… non-action guy.

CHELLGADOS taked out her portal gun wich was modified to shoot bullets lick a reel gun but cold shoot portals to just in case.

Okay, but does it really shoot bullets? I ask because the turrets use spring-loaded action in order to fire the entire bullet, which is obviously a hell of a lot less effective despite delivering more bullet per bullet. Explains why Chell can take so many hits without dying.

Point being, there’s no evidence Aperture Science knows how guns are supposed to work.

She fired the portal gun an it hit Ratman with a boom an I thot he was dead for sure.

But Ratman gotted up!

What? Is he still alive?

"Silly CHELLGADOS you cannt hurt me becos..." He pulled down his pants an I saw that he had replased his man thingys with... the space an rick cores!

…I know we’re leading up to a “balls of steel” joke, and I shan’t comment on that, but this raises so many goddamn questions. How do you replace your testicles with personality cores? A personality core is a hell of a lot bigger, and heavier, than a human testicle. Also, Space Core is in space, so how did Rattman get ahold of him? Did he shrink the cores somehow? How did this make him immune to bullets? How did he fit two personality cores in his pants? Why did he need to flash everybody?

My brain is hurting over this and I know it’s only in the story because the author wanted to make a stupid pun. Moving the hell on.

"IVE GOT BALLS OF STEEL!" (Thats from a game called Duke Nukum Forever its funny) The space core was still thing he was in space but Rick was mad at been one off Ratmans tentacles.

One of his tentacles? Are we in a hentai now?

"Well then ill just portal you into space like Wheatly an see how you like it you wont!" CHELLGADOS shooted a nother portal unner Ratmans feet an he was sucked into s space. "No dont you are my dotter Chell!" Ratman yelled as he got sucked in.

Uh… what? How? I thought Marissa and Chell were both Cave and Caroline’s kids in this story. Wasn’t that established several chapters ago?

"OMG HOW?" CHELLGADOS an me said at the same time to gether. "It all storted a long time ago..." Ratman gave us the down lo as he was just barely hanging on to the portal. "I used to work for Gabe Jonson affer he changed his name to Cave in onor of his dead brother. Caroline was got shot as you no Marrissa an was put in a robot body that was called... GLaDOS!"

Right, we know. How is he hanging on to the portal? Can you do that? I don’t think you can do that.

CHELLGADOS o-mouthed at his shockin words.

Did she forget she spent the beginning of this story being a goth emo over the revelation that she used to be human? Like… this isn’t news anymore.

"Gabe new he wold have to dotters named Marrissa an Chell but since GLaDOS was a prototip she an Cave coldnt make baby normal way an instead used the artificial enseamanation an grew test toob babys.

Hey, what the fuck is the “normal way” to have sex with a giant robot? Seriously, please inbox me if you know. It’s for a friend. I swear.

But there was a miksup an my dna got used instead of Gabes for one of the toobs that toob was... CHELL!" Then Rutman coldnt hold on any longer an fell into space an died.

Why did Aperture Science have a sperm sample from Rattman on file? How did they get DNA from Caroline, since her physical human body no longer exists? How does Rattman know about the mixup? Who carried the baby to term? How did two white people birth a woman of color? How did two white people birth a woman of color? I don’t know if I brought this up earlier in the MST, but I am directing that question at every “Chell is Cave and Caroline’s daughter” theorist too. You’re not off the fucking hook.

Then CHELLGADOS started shackin an looked funny. Chell was fightin back a gainst GLaDOSs control! "Marrissa there is not much time left you must kill me to stopped GLaDOS once and four all!"

Okay, but we know what happens when Marissa kills Chell — thanks to having consumed the “zombie taters,” Chell will just turn into a zombie. You don’t want the most tenacious woman in the world after your brains, but especially not when she’s fused with the most massive collection of wisdom to ever exist, who also hates you.

I o-mouthed becos Chells brane damage was cured so now I coldnt put her out of MISERY lol.

That’s actually not the concern I expected Marissa to have. She has no problem killing disabled people, but being fused with a homicidal AI who is using your body as her puppet is A-OK, even when the victim is begging for death?

Man, this girl could use some new priorities.

"But I cannt kill you Chell yur my sister there must be a nother way! Chell got sad "Hurry GLaDOS is takin control!" An she started lollin with evil. There was no way I cold kill Chell an then I rembered that GLaDOS used to be Carlion an that made me not want to kill herr neither.

Yeah, and remember how she used to be a well-written and complex character who cannot be reduced to a mere villain and who actually likes Chell so much she keeps writing songs about it?

Sorry, there I go talking about canon again.

"Bloody hell Marrissa shes powerin up!" Wheatly screemed from inside my jump soot an I looked up an saw CHELLGADOS was floatin in air an electric stuff was comin out off her. "THANKS MARRISSA YUO REMINDED ME THAT I USED TO BE CARALIN SO I REMBERED THAT I HAVE POWERS TOO!"

Hey, uh, what the fuck?

I o-mouthed, that dumb ingineer forgot to make it so only I gotted the powers! I didant no what to do now an it seemed hope less when a herd a sound. "Hey b**** were heer for backup!" It was... ATLAS AN P-BODY!

Who are they here to back up?

"OMG why are you jersk helpin me?" I asked while o-mouthin from the shock. "Becos CHELLGADOS is half yur sister an we dont lick you so we dont lick Chell neither!" Atlas eksplained. "An I rembered that you gave us the drugs an beer in the first place so if it wasnt for you we woldnt have drugs an beer!" P-Body added an Atlas nodded like yeah!

I guess that’s reasonable. I, too, feel indebted to those who give me drugs and beer.

We started ti fire are portal guns at CHELLGADOS an the portals combined to make a big portal black hole.

Co-op mode would benefit from the inclusion of this feature, I think.

"OH SH**!" CHELLGADOS screamed as the GLaDOS parts were all sucked out off Chell.

Should have attached them better, I guess.

Ones all of GLadOS was gone we closed the portal an Chell falled down on the ground. "Chell I safed you!" I rant to my sister an gave her hug. "Marrissa Im sorry, but the damaje from GLaDOS was to much..."

“…not to mention, having my butt sliced off after someone used their powers a little too recklessly…”

An she dyed in my arms. "Nooooo Chell my sister you are died!" I cried soooo much an Whealty cried to becos they was frends even Atlas an P-Body looked kinna sad.

Isn’t Chell gonna turn into a zombie now or are we not doing the zombie stuff anymore? Was that only because she was brain-damaged? This fic is confusing.

I put down Chells body an stand up when there was a clikclak nose be hind me.

Oh no! Not a clikclak nose!

"LOL we tricked you to get yur guard down Marrissa! Now die b****!" An Atlas an P-Body lolled an shot me in head.

I’ve probably mentioned it before, but I love that the author of this mess has no problem writing over-the-top violence but feels the need to censor the word “bitch.”

"Marrissa!" Wheatly screamed an ever thing got really black an I died.

Love the prose.

TO BE CONTINUED?

Yes, indeed, we’re not done with this fic yet!

OH NO MARRISSA IS DIED!

Oh, yes.

CAN WHEATLY SAFE HER?

Well, seeing as she’s dead, I think it may be a bit late for that.

FIND OUT IN THE NEXT ONE PS IM THINKIN OF MAYBE WRITIN A SPINNOFF A BOUT TEEN FORTRESS 2 AN GABE JONSON AN CARALION LIVIN IN PORTAL HIGH SCHOOL WHAT DO YOU GUYS THIN?

She actually did write that spinoff, by the way. I’ll put my MST of it up on this blog at some point.

Next chapter

#itsmylife.mst #fandom:portal #halfworld.mst

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